#but then I see something or I just let my brain overthink for 2 minutes more and I become biggest child that you have seen in you life

[enchantedvistas]

I think so much, but when I need to think I can't stop and think. I'm so impulsive and I just can't learn to wait and think. hate myself.

[pearlymel]

A duty— Capitano

Synopsis: You were set to marry a fatui... Wait, is that a fucking harbinger?!

Wc: 3.3k

Warning(s): fem reader for this one, reader gets called "wife", Capitano is described to have dark blue eyes (i swear i did my research and they said yes to dark blue eyes), MDNI masturbation but no sex between them.

Notes: don't ask the reason why you are in an arranged marriage, my brain is fried. You can come up with your own reasons ! Wrote this with my eyes cursing at me to sleep so half not proofread. Part 2 is out here. Part 3 is out here!

Tick tock.

You watched as the clock ticked louder than usual, cringing to yourself when the sound became unpleasant to you, it was ringing in your ears.

Even the fatui around you were like statue's, you considered for a minute to check if they were even alive and breathing.

The door then swinged opened, everyone's head suddenly lowering slightly which made you even more confused, but you mimicked their gestures nonetheless for respect.

Heavy footsteps echoed in the room, the sound only getting louder and heavier the closer it got you.

The steps finally stopped, and your glance up to see a big—no, giant man standing right infront of you. He seemed to be wearing a helmet to cover his face, long black hair that protrutes from the back of his helmet and over his shoulders, and the big coat that was full of fur draped around his shoulders.

You must say, he went all out with his appearance as a fatui.

"Are you perhaps..." You started, breaking the silence that hung think in the air, "... The person who I'm arranged to marry?" You finish off, tilting your head curiously.

He doesn't answer immediately, rather, he looks down at you, observing your features which makes you wipe your sweaty hands to your sides.

"Il Capitano," he finally spoke, a raspy voice, you noted. Capitano extended his arm out for you, and you willingly accepted it, giving it a gentle shake.

"Member of the fatui Harbingers."

His next words made your hand freeze. Did he just say Harbinger? Not even a normal fatui like you thought, but a whole harbinger. Standing right before you, and shaking your hand.

Well you were screwed because what the hell have you gotten yourself into.

You both were quiet now, staring at eachother that it's becoming almost painfully awkward.

"Your name?" He asks, letting your hand go and it's like you were snapped back to reality when you immediately blurt out your name.

He repeats your name like you were on his kill-off list, but that was just overthinking on your part.

"I'd like your company from now on." He announced, stepping a tad closer to you which made you hold in your breath.

"then i shall be at your company..." Giving him your best small smile, you bowed your head again.

•••

Your wedding basically consisted of a witness and marriage papers that needed your signature. You didn't even get the chance to wear a traditional wedding dress nor have a honeymoon, which you don't think is necessary for now since everything was going too fast for your liking.

And Marina, your new personal maid, has become your new friend in this big estate of Capitano's, teaching you everything you must and mustn't do. Kind of like a 101 guide on how to be a wife.

Ever since that day a two months ago, you have not done anything but cause trouble.

You wanted to go out? Well you need your husband's permission. You want to eat something? Ask Marina first and she'll whip it for you no problem, and no you're not allowed to cook by yourself. You bombarded Capitano with questions about himself, but his answers wouldn't be enough as they were about a word or a sentence long.

As boring as that is, this is your life now for... Archons know how long. But you remember it being temporary, if your memory did not fail you.

Capitano had returned back to the estate for the night, and for the first time, you greeted him at the front door with a smile, wishing you could see him smile back at you.

"My lord," you bow elegantly like how Marina taught you, speaking even softly like nothing ever happened a week ago, the fit you remember throwing at him, demanding an answer on why you couldn't do anything around.

The silence in the hallways was deafening, broken only by the clanking of his armor as he took a step closer to you, his towering figure cast an intimidating shadow upon you. "It is rare," he spoke in a blunt tone, "to see you this obedient." Capitano paused, his gaze scrutinizing your every move. "You have been behaving recently?"

You couldn't help but fidget with the hem of your clothes nervously like you have been caught, a nervous quiet laugh escaping your lips, "i believe I've always behaved."

Capitano let out a terse sigh at your answer, his eyes unflinching through the slits of his helmet. "To your luck," he muttered, "you have been... tolerable." The word 'tolerable' hung heavily in the air, making it clear that it was the most positive adjective he could summon about you.

"However," he added after a few moments, "you seem more compliant than usual today. This is an... interesting change." His tone was questioning, as if hinting that he was wary of your compliance, expecting a hidden scheme behind it.

"Shall we have dinner?" You change the topic, changing your position to stand by his side so that both of you could walk to the dining room together. Capitano nods curtly, acknowledging your suggestion. He allows you to approach, though there is a stiffness in his movements as he lets you stand by his side.

The two of you begin walking to the dining room, your husband's steps were heavy, and it was evident that he was still in his full armor, the sound of his footsteps filling the hall.

"You are not usually the one to suggest dinner," he commented, "I thought today was nice... Despite how i always fight you, forgive me." you mumble apologetically.

You become quiet when he doesn't answer back, your hands clasped infront of you instead.

You both soon reached the dining hall, now sat opposite eachother on the dining table, Capitano's gaze remained fixed upon you as you both sat across each other, the coldness in his eyes didn't waver as he observed you intently. The silence seemed to thicken as the only sound in the room was the clinking of silverware against the ceramic dinnerware.

"How was your trip?" You asked casually while stuffing some veggies in your mouth.

"The trip was... uneventful," he replied tersely, pausing briefly before continuing. "The usual Fatui business, nothing that concerns you, wife." His words were as biting as ever, indicating that he wasn't keen on discussing his business matters with you.

"nofing mfun?" You ask again with your mouth too full this time, "don't speak with your mouth full of food." You swallow your food down when you caught a glimpse of disappointment in his tone, maybe he was even frowning if you could see him behind his helmet.

"i will retire to my chambers after this," you place down the silverware on the tablecloth to reach for the glass of water next to you. Capitano doesn't answer, but he nods slowly in return.

•••

The world was still and the moon illuminated the grounds outside, casting a soft glow upon the landscape. You could hear the occasional sound of crickets and the whispered rustle of leaves, creating a peaceful atmosphere inside the expansive estate.

The minutes ticked by slowly, each one seemingly longer than the last as you anticipated Capitano's return this time. You fidgeted with the sheets, as you waited, you recalled Marina's words, a distant memory echoing in your head, "It is custom for a wife to wait for her husband to return before she retires to bed." You never did that, no. You would always sleep before he did and he would always wake up before you did. It was rare to even see him on your side of the bed, only sometimes when you would wake up from a sudden heavy weight shifting next to you.

Despite being married for quite some time, the connection between you two was still distant and cold. Capitano didn't seem to care for you on any emotional level, instead seeing you as a mere accessory to his life as a mighty Capitano of the Fatui Harbingers. A possession rather than a wife, you thought.

Capitano's steps echoed through the room as he stepped into your bedroom, his footsteps heavy and deliberate. He closed the door behind him with a thump, shutting out the outside world and isolating the two of you in the room.

He observed you quietly for a moment, "You're not in bed yet?"

"i was waiting for you."

"And why, pray tell, were you waiting for me?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. "Marina..." You mumble, standing up from the bed while looking away in a bit of embarrassment, "she taught me it was custom for a wife to wait for her husband."

Capitano seemed even more surprised upon hearing your answer, his eyes narrowing slightly. "Marina... I see," he said slowly, of her name sending a ripple of irritation through him. Capitano disliked Marina's influence on you and how she seethe mentioned to be teaching you things.

He strode closer to you, by now you were used to his presence that it would not make you involuntary step back, you instead wait for his next move.

Lifting his hand to take a few strands of your hair was the last thing you expected. The strands resting on his hand as he lifted it closer to his helmet, almost like a gesture of kissing your hair which made you blink rapidly.

"You don't have to," he whispered, his thumb gently caressing the strands, "don't have to listen to Marina or anyone. You may do your own thing in this estate. I just want you well taken care of and safe."

You think you may have just fallen in love with the man because... Why is your heart beating so fast that it could explode? Or wait, can he hear it?

Capitano then let go of your hair, walking past you as he started loosening the straps of his armor, "it is late," he muttered with a rasp, his hands working quickly to remove his armor. The sound of armor being unthreaded echoed through the room, punctuated by the clinks of metal.

Taking off his helmet next so casually made your eyebrows furrow and sit back on the bed with your head tilted to get a closer look at him.

His eyes were glowing dark blue, the most beautiful shade of blue you think you've ever seen. The prettiest face too despite his dark and intimidating aura.

"you're beautiful." You whispered in awe, though Capitano, who was half-way through removing his armor, paused for a moment as he heard your words. He wasn't expecting such a compliment from you. It was rare for you to praise him, preferring to defy him more often than not.

"Beautiful?" he repeated, his voice gruff, you noticed his expressions and tried to act cool, your fingers nervously scratching your neck out of habit when you get shy.

"You're beautiful too, my wife." This completely caught you off gaurd, but it doesn't stop you from smiling and laughing it off quietly.

"Goodnight." Your head rests on the pillow, and this time you face him in your sleep, and he makes the effort to mimick your gestures.

"Goodnight."

•••

"Marina, where is my wife?" That was the first thing he asked your personal maid the moment he arrived back from his mission. His head looking around rather than looking down directly at Marina.

"The lady should be at her chambers."

"She's not."

"What?" Poor Marina's eyes widened, she was sure she just gave you a basket of fruits and snacks in your room, even asking you if you needed anything else.

"... Forgive me, my lord. She's probably in the bat—"

"She's not in the bathroom." He replied in a low, dangerous tone that sent a shiver down her spine.

Where are you, my lady? Marinas thought through gritted teeth before exhaling out shakily, "i shall go find her at once." Marina began looking around every corner of the estate, and each room she opened without you in it, she would lose two years of her life with Capitano following her.

You couldn't have escaped, right?

Finally when she hurriedly went to the back of the estate, she let out a sigh of relief when she saw you sitting outside on the grass with the basket of goods she handed you earlier.

You wave your hands and both Capitano and Marina with a bright smile, causing his shoulders to relax when you were at last seen having fun by yourself.

"you're going to get me killed one day." Marina mouthed at you, but since there was some distance between you both, you just smiled and shrugged at her.

Capitano approached you slowly, his purposeful stride carrying him towards you with measured steps. You were perched on the grass, happily savoring the treats in your hands, when he suddenly materialized before you. "Sit." You pat the space next to you, to which he obliged without hesitation.

"Have you ever done this before?"

"No."

"Never? It's nice."

"You do seem to be enjoying yourself." He hums thoughtfully, and your smile widens, "The last couple of months have been interesting, and i get to know you better now." You say before popping a blueberry in your mouth to chew on.

"Blueberry?" You offer, raising your hand while holding a blueberry in between your thumb and forefinger.

You might think your husband is shy by how he looks around at first before taking off his helmet, cute. Eventually he leans to take the fruit between his teeth before chewing silently, the slight fruit juice glistening on his lips before his tongue along with his thumb swiped over his lower lip.

"you know," you suddenly speak, drawing your hips near him, "we've never kissed yet."

He pauses, staring at you while thinking deep about it, "does it bother you?"

"No, does the idea bother you?" Your question held a mixture of uncertainty and intrigue.

Without a warning, his hand held your left cheek with gentleness, his lips slotting against yours for three seconds max before it ended.

What?

Your eyes were wide open the whole three seconds of it too!

"What was that?" The horror in your eyes was evident, not because you were scared, but because you were caught off guard and your eyes were fucking open. Capitano, upon seeing your eyes, he immediately tried pulling away, thinking he might've scared you in some way.

But you were quick to hold his wrist firmly so it wouldn't leave your cheek. "I liked it." You blurt out with the reddest cheeks ever, and he's almost amused.

"But it was too fast," you clear your throat before tilting your head closer, "may i, husband?" How can he refuse when you asked so nicely too?

Your lips latch onto his for the second time, and this time, you were going to give him a proper kiss. With your lips moving with ease against his, the sounds of soft smacks of your lips together filling the air which makes the tips of his ears go red.

You don't continue after both of you pull away to catch your breath, your eyes staring deeply into eachother as he pressed his lips into a thin line.

"Let's not do this again," your heart almost drops at his words. Did you mess up again? Did he not like how it felt—

"In public, i meant. I wouldn't like anyone to see you in such a state."

You can definitely hear the crickets in your head. "So we can continue kissing?"

"Mm," he only hums back before reaching for his helmet to put it back on. "I have to leave, i will be back by midnight," and when he stands up, it was your cue to stand up to bid him goodbye.

"Take care, husband." You wrap you arms around him, and he circles his arms back around you into a tight hug. It was not your first hug together, so you got used to the feeling of not being able to breath for a couple of seconds before of his tight arms around you.

•••

Capitano expected you to be awake when he returned from a few errands he had to run earlier, expecting you to wait for for him so that both of you could sleep at the same time ever since you did that day.

But you were asleep, peaceful and relaxed on your shared bed. You, wearing nothing but a silky nightgown like you always do, the blanket shuffled messily on you which revealed your legs slightly parted, and your arms hugging the pillow underneath you.

You looked like an angel to him, so vulnerable.. so pretty like this—god was he pent up from today.

He hands clenched tightly into fists until his knuckles turned white as he looked away, instead busying himself in taking off his usually neat coat which was now covered in few splatters of crimson red.

The sound of the running water masked his muttering, instantly regretting his thoughtlessness. As he grabbed the bar of soap, he began to wash vigorously, trying to expel the memories of combat and the musky scent of carnage. His body couldn't be gentler with himself though, as he massaged his muscles that ached from the constant strain.

His heartbeat quickened as his mind wandered back to you. You were the sweetest thing in his life, and he would never ever hurt you, in fact, he would rather die than have your precious skin scratched. Or even cutting off the heads without hesitating if one would hurt you.

He hates himself for envisioning your body under his, or thinking about how skilled you would be with your tongue or hands. he thought he was a selfish lustful man for thinking of such thing when you were sound asleep and tired.

Unable to bear it any longer, he reached for himself, stroking slowly at first before heavier thrusts took over all while imagining how it would feel like to be inside your soft and warm cunt instead of his hard and rough fist. The steam from the shower served to muffle his low groans, half in agony, half in ecstasy. Closing his eyes, he pictured your warm smile or shy and embarrassed facial expressions as his release came steadily forth, his forehead hit the cool tiles as he let out a deep, satisfied sigh.

After taking a moment to get himself together, he turned off the water and faced the mirror. How can he go back to bed after jerking off to the thought of your smile and sleeping figure? He would very much rather bang his head on the wall.

But he dried off with a sigh and headed back to bed, trying to keep his eyes half closed with his back turned to you as he sinked down on the mattress, taking a bit of blanket to cover himself with his eyes forced shut.

Your sudden arms that enveloped around him from behind is what gave Capitano a scare. A literal scare to the big man.

Were you awake this whole time? Did you hear him back in the bathroom? Was he too loud?

But your soft snores made his stiff shoulders sag in relief, indicating you were still in deep in your dreams.

He decided to turn around to face you, looking down at how innocent you looked, how the moonlight seemed to glow on your face from the window, giving your features a glowy shine.

"You have ruined me," he whispered carefully while brushing off strands of your hair away from your face to press a goodnight kiss on your forehead. "I am yours, ruin me, break me, and love me as much as you want, my wife."

[urprettylittlething]

In The Shadows

Purge Alternate Universe

Yandere - Gojo Satoru x Reader x Geto Suguru

A/N - Okayyyy I've been working on this for like a week and it's the longest I've ever written for one thing, I had a shoulder injury which is mostly healed up now during the week which hindered my progress a little because I originally really wanted this to get out nearer Halloween time, but oh well TT at least its here now right? Lmao, but I hope you guys enjoy it, I tried my best and lowkey kind of hate it, I wished I could've done more or something, but if you have any ideas around this for a possible part 2 let me knoww, although no promises ;) Consider this a massive thank you story, I now have over 100 followers and the likes and reblogs and comments, you guys, I'm crying, I love you all so much <333333 I love interacting with you guys and your comments on my stories or in my inbox <3333 you all make my day ilysm <3 :( AND IM SORRY I COULDNT HELP IT, they're kind of really mean so its more harsh yandere than the soft you all wanted :( I couldn't help myself its a purge AU TT, but I promise ill make something softer in the future <33 sorry this is so long omfg, but let me know your thoughts pretty please &lt;3 and if you actually read all of this ily

summary - Another purge night is here and you think your safe and sound, but let your guard down and you'll find yourself bound.

warnings - purge, mentions of 'off screen' murder, actual 'off screen' murder, kind of gore but reader doesn't see it, blood, rope, reader gets tied up, gags?, tape over readers mouth, they're actually kind of really mean lol, especially Geto, descriptions of panic, anxiety, overthinking, stalker situation kind of, swearing, crying, brief hair pulling, if there's any more let me know ml <3

genre - Oneshot

wc - 7.2k

~spelling and grammar fixed already~

Edit - the top photo 6/11/23

The tip tapping of fingers on keys echoed around the silent room. The occasional footfalls of people around her walking up and down. Picking up books to further aid their studying would slip past the music playing in her ears when they were loud enough.

Every time she would hear someone being a little too loud for the library they were in she would glance up and shoot a half-hearted glare their way.

They’d never see her but it was the thought that counted. A barely audible sigh escapes her as she brings a hand up to massage her cold fingertips into the throbbing skin at her temple. 

Nervous nibbling was occupying her teeth and lips, chewing away the flesh and creating tender spots her tongue would soon soothe. 

She’d been staring at the same empty document for two hours now. No more than two sentences she was able to come up with before she’d erase them in a fit of frustration.

Abandoned textbooks lay closed behind her laptop, she’d deemed them no use around thirty minutes in, but she couldn't bring herself to get up and search for better ones. 

She was antsy, not able to focus on her assignment due in a week's time. Her brain was all fogged up, too many thoughts going through her mind and yet she's not able to focus on a single one.

The purge was tonight. March 21st. And it was currently 1pm. 

Why did she even bother to come to the library in the first place? Was she hoping to distract herself even just a little bit before she had to hunker herself down in her dorm for twelve hours? 

Maybe. Yes.

Was it working? Absolutely not.

She was too skittish. Overthinking everything that had the potential of happening later and things that have previously happened. 

‘Someone's not going to come and try to kill me just because I forgot to return their pen that one time, right?’ 

The amusing, albeit a little dark, thought did make the corner of her lips twitch just the smallest amount. 

Taking off her headphones after stopping her music, she closes down her laptop and starts to move it into her bag. 

She spares a quick glance around the few tables next to hers as she stands with the library's books in her arms. Her eyes locked with a man sitting roughly two tables down. Slumped back in his seat.

Gojo Satoru. Bright white and fluffy hair paired with a set of dazzling blue eyes. The ones currently peeking over the tops of his round shades that had slid down his nose as he tucked his head down slightly. 

Sitting in front of him and abstracting her view of Gojo only slightly is who she assumed was Geto Suguru. Two peas in a pod and never seen without the other. The long black and silky strands of hair tied up in a half up bun was a giveaway to who he was as well.

Both of them were originally from Tokyo, Japan. Coming over to America over five years ago. Or at least that's what she’s heard from around the place, not knowing them personally. They were the most popular boys in school when she had joined a little over a year ago and they still held the title strong.

She doesn’t think she's ever really interacted with them. At Least not on any kind of personal level. Sure, maybe from a few friends of friends or passing each other in the hallway and being polite to her upperclassmen, but nothing all that memorable. 

Which is why this prolonged eye contact is sending a very noticeable shiver down her spine. The smallest twitch of a smirk on his face and she was breaking eye contact, gulping down the pooled saliva in her mouth as she turned around and hastily made her way in between the towering bookshelves.

Leaving the library after stacking the books she’d previously taken back on the shelves, she hastily makes her way down the long corridors. Keeping her head down, her hands clutched tight on the strap of her bag. She passes very few people in the hallway.

Even after pushing through the doors and trekking her way to the dorms at the end of the path, there were very few people loitering around outside. Some of the people she passed looked like they could be stoned, not that she could really blame them. Some looked a little too relaxed and happy and some were just trying to get to their destination as quickly as possible. Like her.

As the doors came into view, and then the stairs, she slowly began to relax, her fast pace lessening up. Successfully getting to the safest place she could for when the purge would start. 

It was also a massive relief that her two good friends would be staying with her during the twelve hours of horror. Last time she was by herself there had been multiple scares throughout the night. Nothing too big but something she didn’t think she could handle alone again. 

Reaching her door on the third floor she fiddles with her keys for a few seconds before her door clicks open and she pushes her way inside. Closing the door and locking it again for good measure. 

It was 1:43 pm.

A few minutes after she had arrived back at her dorm did she realize she still needed to pick up some food items. Being a broke student meant she had essentially nothing in her cupboards or her fridge. And if she was ‘hosting for the purge’ this year, it meant she had to stock up at least a little bit. 

‘Imagine trying to hide from a killer and your stomach growls, I think I would just die on the spot.’ She thinks, the smallest smile gracing her face. Humour is usually her way to cope in situations like these. It’s either that or panicking and she’d rather try to save that for the main event.

With a heavy sigh and hesitation weighing her limbs down, she slowly puts her shoes and jacket back on. She can make this quick. In and out. Easy peasy. 

With a quick jump while shaking her limbs out to get rid of her last minute hesitation, she quickly opens her door and steps out before shutting it behind her. No going back now. Locking the door behind her, she starts making her way back down the stairs and out the doors, walking in the direction of the food store. 

Her nerves were still playing up though, eyes darting this way and that as if trying to find a reason for her to panic. ‘It’s okay, the purge hasn’t started yet, all those things are still illegal.’ Is what she keeps telling herself while taking a deep breath. But the fact they won’t be in a few hours was still cause for some panic. 

Arriving at the store, she wizzes around, collecting any good looking snack and throwing it in her basket before hastily paying and leaving. The heavy plastic carrier bag hanging from her fingers gave her reason to think she went a bit overboard. 

Her quickened steps and accelerated breathing were all she could hear for a while. Her walk back to her dorm was supposed to be a quiet one, less and less people were loitering around meaning less and less noises to distract her. 

Especially from the new set of footsteps that have appeared behind her.

As soon as her mind clocked the extra set of footsteps there, it went into overdrive. ‘Who is that? Are they following me? No, you're being delusional, they're just trying to get back home. But are they? They just appeared out of nowhere. Are they going to try and kidnap me? Rape me? Stuff me in a van? Drag me down a dark alleyway and murder me?’

Her mind was racing, steps quickening and breathing silenced under the new threat. ‘Oh god, what if they’re stalking me? Waiting until the purge starts to come and slaughter me? They’re going to kill me. They’re going to kill me. What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?’

And then they were gone. 

It barely registered in her mind that the fast paced footsteps from behind her had vanished. A sharp breath escaped her before her head whipped around on a desperate whim. No one. Not a soul on the path behind her. 

Her shoulders sank with relief and a watery laugh broke free from her trembling lips. ‘I’m losing my mind.’ She thought. Even though that feeling in her gut had faded, it never fully disappeared. Her racing heart never slowed and neither did her footsteps. 

Y/n hurried back to her dorm, almost running through the doors and up the stairs to fumble with her keys and quickly burst in. Double checking she locked the door behind her, and then checking every other lock on her third story apartment. Only when she had made sure they were all secure could she finally relax. 

Her body shivering and hands shaking from the after effects of adrenaline. Her breathing is still a little shaky as she pulls a bunch of pillows and blankets into her tiny living room. Pushing her chair and sofa away to make more space as she lays everything out as neat as she could, making the floor a comfy space for her and her two friends to crash for the purge. 

She empties the snacks from out of the plastic bag and piles them in a nice little corner near the TV. A small stack of movies there for when they’re all waiting for the purge to start. Some cards in a pack were also placed there. 

The three of them are wanting to be as quiet as possible while the purge is going on. Everything locked, curtains drawn, lights off, TV with no volume and only subtitles, quiet games to play in case they got bored, etc. 

They weren’t taking any chances. It was doubtful anything would happen, since nothing really ever did in the dorms. No student here would go as far as murdering somebody, everyone mostly stayed inside, not wanting to risk anything. She only knew of a few people that have snuck out before to rob a few stores, or do some petty revenge like smashing someone's car without getting into trouble.

But overall, it was best to remain quiet. They didn’t want to get murdered because the TV was turned up too loudly and attracted some wrong attention. 

It was 5:15 pm.

This is the time her friends arrived. Knocking some made up code on the slab of wood before messaging just for good measure that it was really them outside. 

After unlocking the door and letting her two good friends inside her dorm she swiftly closes and locks it again. Relieved greetings transpire as well as nervous whispers about the purge and some small gossip of who they think would actually go out this year and who are likely to stay inside. 

The three of them start to make their way around her dorm, closing all the curtains and double checking the locks on all the windows and doors. Especially the balcony and front door. 

After they’ve secured the apartment, they turn off all the necessary lights, flicking on a few electrical lanterns and setting them up around the living room, but away from the windows. They’ve left one lantern in the bathroom and one in her bedroom, both turned off, just in case of emergencies.  

The three of them settle in a spread out pile on the blankets she put down in the living room. Some snacks are passed around already and a movie is slotted into the TV, playing as background noise mostly while they talk.

Erica, a sassy but kind of dumb girl, with choppy shoulder length hair that had been bleached and dyed a light green. She's donned in a crop top and sweatpants, comfy.

Don, a friendly giant, very kind in nature but also a little muscly. He has short black hair and a sculpted jawline. He also came in sweatpants and a baggy white T-shirt, also comfy.

Her two very good, and only, friends here. They’re in a few of her classes and all regularly hang out together. 

“So,” Erica begins after her mouthful of powdered donut. “Who do you think is going to actually purge tonight? Like, actually actually. My moneys on them two hotties in my class.” She finishes, wiggling her eyebrows..

Don hums around his half empty soda can. “Yeah, honestly I wouldn't be surprised if they did.”

Y/n pipes up, “Wait who?” sitting up against the sofa behind her, getting comfy like she's about to hear the gossip of a lifetime.

“Oh, Em, G! You haven’t heard of it? You’ve seriously been, like, living under a rock or something.” Erica says jokingly. Picking apart pieces of her donut and eating them. 

Don perks up too. “Really? You haven't?” Y/n shakes her head in denial as Don shrugs. “I get it, it’s mostly stayed in our class, hasn’t spread much further than that.” He says before crawling forward and rummaging around for more snacks.

“So get a load of this right!” Erica sits up too after finishing her donut. Waving her hands excitedly as she tells her latest gossip. “You know them two really hot upperclassmen right?” She draws out her ‘really’ and waits patiently at the end of her sentence for the other girl's confirmation. 

When she nods in slight confusion, Erica continues, “There were some major rumours in class that the two of them were late this one day because they were beating someone up. And I don't mean like a few slaps or hair pulling, I mean punches. You know?”

Y/n nods again, this time with furrowed brows and Erica continues, “At first, I didn’t believe it, obviously. But then, the two of them came into class and I swear there were blood stains on their clothes. Blood stains! Not to mention all the plasters and bandages all over their hands! I just had to believe it then! Wouldn’t you?”

After the end of her long rant she slumps back against the front of the sofa and mumbles incoherently to herself shaking her head while pouting.

Don, who had been listening silently, pipes up, “It was true, I was actually there for once.”

Y/n’s eyebrows raise in disbelief at what she had just heard. Fighting, here? She couldn’t help but to doubt it, if only just a little. Stuff like that has never happened here. Or at least while she had been here. It was just unheard of.

And for an attack so vicious to result in blood being drawn, then there must have been somewhat of a good reason for it. That was the conclusion she came to.

“I mean, there had to have been a good reason for it.” Y/n says, “They’re pretty nice people aren't they? It is Gojo and Geto were talking about here, right? They’re really popular here too.” Her eyes darted between her two friends, looking for more answers on this unexpected juicy gossip.

Erica sighs wistfully, “No, it got shut down pretty quick, which I guess is why so little people have heard about it. God, would I pay to see them fight though. Their muscles must have looked amazing.” 

They stop talking about it after that, Don getting distracted by the snacks and whining about how she didn’t get his favourite. Erica smacking him with a few pillows and complaining how he’s getting in the way of her movie she was barely even watching. 

Their playful banter did little to distract from her inner turmoil. A small shiver went down her spine again. The memory from earlier in the library resurfacing in her mind. Gojo staring her down, the creepy walk back from the shops and now learning the two had at the very least helped in injuring someone.

It could just be because it was purge day, but everything was beginning to creep her out and she was overthinking again. ‘What if he wants to attack me next? What if all of those things were connected and someone really was following me home? What if he wants to kill me? What if both of them want to kill me? Have I ever done anything to offend them? I haven’t, have I?’ She knew these were far fetched and ridiculous, but she couldn’t help but think of them anyway.

Her spiralling thoughts were halted when a stray pillow smacked her in the face. “Oops, haha, sorry.” Erica sheepishly apologized, bringing her hand up to smooth down Y/n’s ruffled hair. Don was laughing in the background.  

Y/n was stunned for a few seconds before replying, “Oh, don’t worry. How about we put something else on? This movie is kind of boring.” crawling across the piles of pillows and blankets to reach the stack of movies.

This caught the other two’s attention, eagerly rushing to the stack as well to try and get first pick. Arguing for a few more minutes before settling on a movie they all loved. Snuggling back into their original positions.

This was how the next few hours went before the announcement appeared.

It was 6:59 pm.

At exactly 7 on the dot, the TV went black before turning blue, the government announcing the commencement of the purge. Big bold letters and ‘Emergency Broadcast System’ and ‘This is not a test’ were displayed on the screen.

They were all quiet as it played out. The mood quickly turned sombre.

“Weapons of class 4 and lower have been authorized for use during the Purge. All other weapons are restricted.”

Don gulped.

“Government officials of ranking 10 have been granted immunity from the Purge and shall not be harmed.”

Erica huffed.

“Commencing at the siren, any and all crime, including murder, will be legal for 12 continuous hours.” 

Y/n shivered.

“Police, fire, and emergency medical services will be unavailable until tomorrow morning at 7 am when The Purge concludes.”

She released a shaky breath. The announcement ends with “...A nation reborn.” before stopping. The screen turned black again.

No one moves or says anything. Each of them were frozen in an array of emotions. Fear being the most prominent. 

The silence stretched on for minutes. Eerie in its wake, not even being able to hear other people in their dorm rooms like she normally would.

Eventually, after releasing another shaky breath and rearranging herself with trembling limbs, they all snap back into the present. 

Don coughs and Erica shuffles awkwardly. 

“Cards, anyone?” Y/n meekly speaks up. The other two nod as they sit in a small circle. 

It was 7:36 pm.

This was when the first explosion of some kind was heard by them. Each of them froze in the middle of playing their mostly silent game of cards. The noise was distant, but the impact remained.

A scream from a few doors down echoed in the silent space.

They waited with baited breath for any follow up, but when nothing happened, they slowly relaxed. Each of them assumed it was the explosion that must have scared someone. Sometimes it’s better to think of the positive, rather than what that scream could have been for.

A few minutes later a siren bellows in the distance, a few car alarms wail.

Nothing too bad, but knowing that it could mean someone was being murdered out there didn’t give them any ease.

It was 8:02 pm. 

This is when the banging starts. Y/n thinks it could be a few doors down again. Erica thinks it’s below them and Don thinks it’s above them. 

Wherever it was, it was concerning. 

Erica releases a small nervous chuckle. “Maybe someone is just having a good time?” A fake smile plastered on her face to try and mask her worry. Even she didn’t believe her little theory. Not during a time like this, during The Purge.

It was a few minutes later, after they had quietly resumed their game, that footsteps were heard.

Clacking down the hallway. 

1, 2.

1, 2. 

1, 2. 

1, 2. 

They were walking at a leisurely pace. Taking their time. Strolling down the hallway and getting closer and closer.

All three of them looked towards the door, as if someone were to burst in at any moment.

The footsteps slow before coming to a stop. Right outside her door.

The three of them hold their breath, bodies flinching when a light knock rings out into the open space.

Complete silence.

Another knock.

None of them had even noticed the earlier noises had stopped, too focused on the potential threat now right outside the door. Seemingly wanting someone to open up.

Three pairs of eyes dart between each other. Silent questions trying to push their way out without being heard. A few panicked half shrugs and furrowed brows with downturned lips later, another knock rings out.

This time it was a little louder.

Barely audible whisperings of ‘you go’, ‘no you’, ‘fuck no’, ‘who even is it?’ cut through the silence. No one wanted to ask the question. To even speak a hint of it lest it result in it coming true.

Eventually after a solid minute of panicked, almost silent, squabbling later. A frustrated and frightened Erica pushed herself up. Taking a very obvious deep breath. Eyes closed and silently mumbling to herself before taking a few steps over to the front door.

She tried to be as quiet as she could but each step sounded like it weighed a ton. Every creek and every wobble made to sound the loudest. 

Very quietly bracing her hands upon the door, she leant up on her tiptoes. Peeking into the peephole positioned in the centre of the door.

The two left in the pile of blankets still. Not wanting to even breathe in fear of disturbing whatever was happening in front of them.

A sudden screech of pure panic and fear tore from Erica’s throat. Flailing before landing with a harsh thud on the floor beneath her. Scrambling backwards on her hands and feet, keeping her eyes on the door the entire time.

The two startle and immediately jump up, laboured breathing hindering their lungs from the sudden scare.

“What the fuck? Erica what happened? What was that?” Don frantically whispered. His eyes were also locked on the door. 

Y/n also whispered to her, “Who was that? Erica?” her eyes locked onto her friend, not able to bring herself to look at the door yet.

“It was.. Oh god.. The peep..” Erica wheezed out. The fright took too much out of her with her frantic gasps for air.

A sudden bang echoed into the room. A few more followed before they all realized it was coming from the front door. 

Erica screeched and threw herself back into a standing position, rushing for the kitchen and grabbing any sharp knife her eyes first laid on.

Don stood frozen in fear. Not able to move or barely breathe from the looks of it.

Y/n wasn’t any better herself. Downright terrified. This was her dorm. Her dorm. Which means whoever was outside, was looking for her.

The banging persisted, the person on the other side seemingly determined to get in. This proved correct when the handle started turning whichever way it could. 

She didn’t even realize, terror clouding her senses because when she looked back to her two friends, Don had collapsed into himself, wheezing with little air entering his lungs amidst his panic. Erica was cornered in the kitchen, sobbing, tears flooding her cheeks and ruining her mascara she had in place.

The persistent banging stopped for a second. The faint sound of another pair of footsteps approached from the hallway outside. Muffled talking pursued but it was hard to make anything out, between her pounding heart, Erica’s sobs and the slab of wood in the way, didn’t make for easy hearing.

For Y/n, it seemed there was one second of complete silence. No sobbing, no voices, no distant alarms or explosions, no racing heart, no wheezing lungs. Before chaos sprung onto them.

Suddenly the people outside, because there was another person now, resumed banging on the door. But it didn’t seem like they were ‘just knocking’ anymore. No.

They were trying to break the door down. 

She could see it from the way the door groaned and creaked under the relentless kicking. She couldn't quite tell if they were using their feet, or an object, or whatever. 

All that mattered was that they were trying to get in. And they were going to succeed.

“Move! Hide! We need to hide!” She whisper-yelled. Rushing to Don and tugging on his arm to try and get him to move. He stared at her for a few seconds before his brain caught up, registering what was happening around him. The real danger he was in right now.

“Hide.. Oh god..” He panted, sprinting for the bathroom, the first place his eyes had landed on.

With Don now searching for a place to hide, she ran her way to Erica. Still trying to be as quiet as she could, in the little hopes that they would think she wasn’t here.

“Erica, we need to hide! They’re getting in!” She frantically whispered to her hyperventilating friend. Trying to shake her shoulders, even resorting to lightly slapping her face to try and get her attention. She was desperate.

“Please!” The sound of splintering caught both of their attention. Heads whipping towards the door starting to cave. She wasn’t all that surprised, that slab of wood was a shitty excuse for a door anyway.

Erica suddenly sprung up and dove for the piles of blankets in the living room. Trying to bury herself amongst them, taking the knife with her.

And now that all her friends had been taken care of, she ran for her bedroom. Trying her best not to stumble and fall in the dark hallway. 

As soon as her door came into sight, she gently opened it, gunning for her wardrobe tucked into the corner of the room. Not even looking towards the turned off lantern, she didn’t need them knowing her hiding spot from something so obvious. 

It was already messy anyway, so in her frazzled brain she didn’t bother caring where she tossed piles of clothes and shoes in her room.. They’d hopefully think it was like that in the first place.

After quickly clearing a space big enough for her to curl into, she did just that. Situating herself just right, back pressed against the side of the wardrobe, knees tucked to her chest and pressed against the boxes in front of her. She was sitting on old shirts she hadn’t seen for months.

Hearing the door breaking even further, she grabbed any clothes within her reach and threw them over herself. Shutting the door when she was mostly covered, she could have sworn she could hear laughter coming from the hallway.

A loud crash and splintering tore through the air. She knew it was her front door. And now they were inside. 

Her hands slowly went up to cup around her mouth, trying to muffle her breathing as much as she could. Her body froze. Even when she already began to feel muscle cramps settling in, she dared not move. She forced herself to breathe slowly. Every inhale a struggle along with a reminder that she was still alive at this very moment. Even if she was convinced she wouldn’t be for much longer. 

The thought brought tears to her eyes. The original shock wears from her body and settles into something akin to despair. 

Her throat started clamping up, muscles seizing and throbbing with the need to cry. 

It was the thudding of footsteps that shook her out of it. Snapping her half way back into a nightmarish reality. 

She gulped. Closing her eyes and straining her ears for any information they were willing to receive.

Just as she thought. Two pairs of footsteps. 

With every thud of a shoe or a spike in their muffled talking, her body would tremble. 

It remained like this for a few more minutes. The footsteps or talking occasionally pausing. 

It was during one of these silences, where a different sound was heard. She couldn’t identify the exact sounds, just ones of commotion. They were still all muffled. And then she heard muffled yelling. 

It sounded so dulled, between the walls and layers of wood and clothes, she could barely make out anything, her ears straining for any hint as to what was happening. Being left in the dark like this, literally and figuratively, was terrifying her. 

And then this horrible, awful noise carried its way between the cracks in the wardrobe. Crunching. Cracking. Stomps. 

That muffled yelling from before kept getting cut off. Eventually dwindling down into a barely audible groan. Those thuds never seemed to stop either. Never ending, crunching, cracking, and now wet thuds. 

Her brain was trying its hardest to process, to catch up with the information that it has been provided with. 

More footsteps, only one pair, accompanied with muffled laughter. And a more distinct sound traveling through the air. 

A scream.

Even more laughter, hurried footsteps and pleas of ‘no’, ‘please’, ‘don’ts’. 

It was now, with the wet stomps still in the background, her screeching friend, that eager laugh, that her brain had finally caught up.

She was going to be sick.

They’re hurting them. Killing them.

Her friends.

Her body moved out of its own violation. Shaky hands and feet kicking and pushing their way out of the pile of clothes. Wardrobe door swinging open with a creak.

She collapsed out of it. Slumped on the floor, dry heaving. Her lungs not seeming to take enough air in but yet holding in too much. She couldn’t function. Fear overwhelmed every part of her. As well as grief. 

Her ears were ringing and she was left gasping, drool dripping onto the hard floor beneath her as a result of her attempted vomiting. Eyes wide open, blurry when she tapped back into her mind. 

Tears, clouding her vision and dripping audibly on the floorboards below her. 

In the distance she could hear muffled talking. Two men, she could make out more clearly. Not only that, but squelching, wet, gooey noises seemed to mingle in the air. Gurgling was the next before silence.

A minute passed, maybe two before the footsteps started up again. Those goddamn footsteps. 

1.. 2.

1.. 2.

1.. 2.

But they were slower than before. Steady. Taking their time. 

And getting closer.

Her instincts kick in, blinking profusely to try and clear her eyes from the tears, looking up and darting around before landing on the space under her bed.

She wouldn’t have enough time to fix her spot back in the wardrobe. She couldn’t run past them, not even in her best state which she certainly wasn’t in right now. She had considered her bedroom window as an option, but it was locked, which would take time to open. Not even mentioning the fact she was on the third floor, so jumping out would break at least something important. They would be quick to notice as well, and if they came for her, it was likely they would decide to chase her down.

Under her bed seemed to be her best option at the moment, and she was running out of time. Scrambling as quietly as she could, she slid herself directly under her bed, trying to center herself in the middle of it, tucking herself into a tight ball.

The footsteps stopped right outside her bedroom door, she had enough sense to shut it on her way in, thank god. But that clearly wouldn’t be enough to stop them. 

Almost as if the person was teasing her, they slowly clicked the door open. The distinct creak she had grown accustomed to over the months making itself known. 

Her muscles are tense, tightening in the presence of her predators. 

In the dark space from under her bed and in her room, it was obvious when the light from inside the hallway started spilling in the more the door got pushed open. In the vague depths of her mind it registered that they must’ve either turned the hall lights on, had taken one of her lanterns,  or were carrying one of their own.

Her lungs were burning with the effort to keep her body running with the little air she was allowing them to have, all for the sake of trying to keep quiet.

It was all too silent once again, only for a second or two before the second pair of footsteps came towards her. A lot more hasty compared to the other ones. 

Her breath silently hitched, the new person pushed their way into the room, stepping past their company before a thunk was heard. The sound forced her body to startle, jolting her muscles and kick starting her trembling again. An uncontrollable reaction to the fear she was under, the unrelenting motions causing a deep ache in her ribs.

The sound of rustling was now heard. It seemed they were looking for something. ‘They’re going to kill me. They’re digging around for a weapon to stab me with, to bash my head in, to murder me like they did my friends. I’m dead. I’m dead, I’mdeadI’mdeadI’mdead-’

Her racing thoughts consuming her fear riddled mind failed in picking up the sound of the other pair of footsteps slowly creeping round to the end of her bed. 

The person paused, silently crouching down low before a pair of hands reached under.

The sudden tight grip on her ankles followed up by the sudden pull had her screeching. Pure terror flooding her veins. She had been yanked out from under her bed, lying sprawled on the floor and gazing up at the towering man stationed above her. 

Her lungs burned, seizing up before a sickening scream escaped her. Fuelled by genuine, unrestrained horror. 

They had found her.

One of her lanterns they had brought in illuminated his face in a haunting light. The darkened shadows stretching and contorting behind him to create the most grim image for her mind to paint. Not that it was far off.

A foot standing on either side of her hips, straddling her if it wasn’t for his standing position. Hands nestled comfortably back in his trouser pockets now they had done the job of retrieving her. A comfortable looking long-sleeved shirt adorned his figure. Dark splatters starting from the bottom of his shoes and creeping their way up his legs, tapering off into a few spots that painted one of his cheeks.

An easy smile softly ingrained on his face, followed by gentle looking eyes peering down at her if it wasn’t for the malicious spiral she found herself paralyzed in. Dark locks of hair extended down his back, past where she could see from her position, with the top layers sectioned off and tied back into a bun.

His mouth opened and he spoke. “Well, well. Look what I’ve caught for us Satoru.”

Satoru. The other man must be Satoru Gojo, and this was Suguru. Suguru Geto. The most popular guys she knew, the supposedly kindest. And then staring in the library, the walk back from the shops, the gossip her most likely dead friend had told her.

Her body suddenly felt like it was pumped full of adrenaline. Pushing herself up as fast as she could, using the bed as support all the while stumbling over her numb riddled legs. She took off, running towards the open door she so desperately wanted to pass through. 

A sudden arm snatched her from around her waist and she screeched. Pure instinct driving her at this point as she scratched and kicked and flailed in his, Satoru Gojo’s, hold.

The sound of something dropping before his other arm came round, collecting both her wrists in one hand of his. His grip tightened the more she fought. Her body pressed tight against his, her back to his front. His head situated itself on her shoulder, tucking over and pressing his cheek to hers even while she cried and panted and kicked.

She could feel his grin pressing against the side of her face. “Such a pretty little thing we have here. Can’t let her get away so easily now, can we? Not after all the trouble we’ve gone through.” The last part practically whispered into her ear as she turned her face as far away as possible from him. 

A little laugh boasted out from Geto. “Of course not.” He strolled over to them, bending down to pick up what Gojo had dropped in order to restrain her.

Rope.

Fucking rope.

The moment her eyes zoned in and processed what Geto was unravelling in his hands she tried to fight back even harder. Eyes flooding with tears that spilled down her cheeks. Short mumblings of ‘no’ being repeated over and over while becoming louder until she was yelling. 

“Please don’t do this! Let me go! Please, please.. Stop!” She shrieked while sobbing, convinced they were going to kill her or torture her or something horrible like that.

Gojo walked the two of them to the edge of her bed before forcefully pushing her down, manhandling her onto her front and bending her arms to rest pressing against her back.  

She sobbed into her ruffled sheets as she felt Geto fastening the rope tight around her wrists, the rough material digging into and pinching the sensitive skin. Raw and red marks already forming amidst her struggle. 

Her legs still hung off the bed, trying their best to kick and hopefully injure one or both of them, but she knew it was a losing battle. None of her landing blows made them falter in any way.

When her wrists were successfully restrained Geto kept them pressed to the small of her back while Gojo let go and reached down to grab her ankles. Pulling them up and bending her legs at the knees while they both worked in finishing the task of tying her up.

When they finally stepped back to admire the work they’d successfully done, Y/n deflated. Tears soaking into her bed in which she rested on top of. Her lungs still burned, having never stopped. The hogtied position she had been forced into leaving her nothing to work with in terms of escaping. Not that she could think clearly anyway. The distress she was under proved too much.

“Oh, Shh Sh Sh… There, there, sweet thing. Settle down for us now. We aren’t going to kill you.” Cooed, who she could only guess right now was Gojo.

Geto reached forward from his position of kneeling on the bed, gentle soothing pets stroking her hair. Her sobbing tapering off into hiccupped breathing even while flinching with every touch. “There you go, good girl. See that wasn’t so hard now, was it?”

He pulled away from her, stepping down off the bed and heading towards the previously discarded bag on the floor Y/n hadn’t noticed before..

Y/n slowly turned her head round, no longer pressed into her sheets. Her eyes were red and bloodshot, swollen from all the crying she’d been doing. Little hiccups and groans left her while her lungs tried to recover. She’d given up struggling right now, it had done nothing but cause her pain as the rope dug and squeezed the skin of her wrists and ankles. 

Gojo piped up from behind her, only now feeling the heat from his legs pressing into hers causing her to flinch. “You know, this would’ve gone a whole lot easier if you had just let us in sweetheart.” She could practically hear the smug smile in his voice. “Look at where you are now, tied up all pretty for us. Ripe for the taking.” He pressed closer to her at that, voice practically dripping with need. 

She whined in fear and started squirming at his words. Panic flooding her senses again for just a second before a sharp tug to her hair had her yelping, halting her movements.

“I thought I told you to quit that.” Geto was back to kneeling on the bed in front of her, his hand gripping tight onto her hair, eyes narrowed. 

Her bottom lip trembled, breaths picking up with every second he glared down at her. 

“Don’t be so mean, Sugu.” Gojo said, a teasing lilt in his voice. 

Geto glanced back at him before humming and letting go of his harsh grip, her scalp burning in turn. “I suppose you’re right. She’ll have plenty of time to learn when we take her back home.”

Gojo hummed and she felt him leaning away from her, hearing him crouch down and fiddle with something from the bag as well. 

“Back home?..” She stuttered, voice hoarse and throat dry.

Geto looked back down at her, amusement painting his face. “Yes. Home.”

“Where..” She started, face formed in a twist of concern and confusion. “Please.. I.. Just let me go. I won’t- I won’t tell anyone, I’ll- I’ll leave you alone, I’ll do anything, please..” She gasped out, tears gathered freshly in her eyes again, voice cracking every few seconds. 

An amused eyebrow raised with the hint of a smirk at the corner of his mouth was all she got as a response. 

Gojo had come back, reaching round and fastening a strip of duct tape around her mouth in a sudden flurry of movement. Giving her no time to process what he had done until after he had done it. 

She cried out, the sound muffled thanks to the tape, worried eyes darting around in panic as she tried squirming again for the third time. 

Gojo pressed up behind her once again. “You’re not going anywhere, sweet pea! You’re ours now. We’ve had you picked out for a long time now.” The joy in his voice didn’t fail to put her on edge, his words doing their part in helping the tears gathered in her waterline to finally spill down her cheeks. Wetting the tape situated over her lips.

“He’s right.” Geto replied. Bringing one of his hands up to show what he had collected from the bag a few moments ago. The mobile phone in his hands glowed brightly in the dark room, the lamp from before having been moved, the light now dim.

“We’ll bring you back with us soon enough, but we still have a few more hours to kill before that. And why waste them.” Gojo said, the grin in his voice unsettling her, keeping her frozen in fear.

An easy smile pulled at Geto’s cheeks at that, head tilting to the side to gaze down at their pretty prey. 

“Well what are you waiting for then, Satoru?”

A pause. Smile pulling into a predatory grin.

“Have at it.”

[tainted-liquor]

Su Tiara Rosa₊˚⊹♡

E42!Miles Morales x Daddy’s Girl!BlackFem!Reader Ingredients: sugar, kisses, n a lil bit of smiles! TWs: Cussing, (im not tagging it nm after this) N word usage, suggestive jokes if ur rlly perceptive W/C: 2.1k!! A/N: PART 2 OF THIS FIC!! RAAGAGHHH (you see any errors no you didnt.)

You spent the next few months talking to Miles nonstop, building a relationship, and getting to know each other little by little. One thing was for sure, the communication was consistent. You went on various dates, with you each surprising and outdoing each other each time. Even though you weren't officially a 'thing', with you telling Miles you don't do boyfriend slash girlfriend until you meet each other's parents, all of that changed today. You made plans with Miles to formally introduce him to your parents, and to say you were nervous was an understatement. It was all that plagued your mind, the idea consuming your glittery pink brain tissue and replacing it with small details about Miles.

You paced around in circles in your room, contemplating if you should wear something pretty for your soon-to-be boyfriend or just stay casual. Would Daddy like him? Mommy already seems to take a liking to him but-...oh no what about your brothers? You thought everything over a thousand times, groaning loudly as you flopped down onto the floor to 'clear your head'. You spent 15 minutes on the soft carpet of your room, overthinking everything as you contemplated canceling today entirely.

You checked the time on your phone through heavy-lidded eyes, huffing as you grazed over the number 4:27 on your clock. You pulled yourself up off the ground and made your way to your closet, deciding on a cute house outfit to wear since you were...literally only having dinner downstairs and then making cookies with Miles. You heard a couple knocks at your door before it nearly came flying off its hinges, revealing 4 pairs of eyes staring at you blankly. You deadpanned, watching as 4 very unwelcome guests filed into your room with confused chirps and sniggers of amusement. Your brothers poked and prodded at your face and room, questioning why there was so much noise coming from your 'pink corner' of the house.

You huffed in annoyance, shooing them all out as they let out noises of disapproval and entertainment. "C'mon, get out I don't want you here...HOW ARE YOU ON MY SHELF?" You shouted, wide-eyed as you watched your brother 'DJ' hang onto your tall dresser. You swatted him down with your pink mini fan, brutalizing your older brothers as they giggled their way back out of your room. Like who do these niggas think they are? Anyway, you have more important things to attend to.

You groaned in slight fear as you realized it was almost time for Miles to make his way over to your house, sucking in a deep breath and fixing your Afro puffs in your vanity mirror. After making sure you looked slightly more presentable than usual, you made your way down the stairs on tip-toes to not disturb the calm atmosphere. “There’s my princess! What’s wrong, you look troubled?” Your dad sparked, immediately tearing his gaze away from what looked like his paperwork. You gave a nervous smile, slowly preparing to explain that you intended to bring a guest to dinner before the doorbell rang. Shit.

You slowly inched towards the door, confusion residing on your father's face as you painfully opened the door, revealing a 'nonchalant' dead Miles. "Daddy, this is Miles..! My new boyfriend!" You muttered, pulling Miles into your house by his hand. He gave a shaky "Hello, Mr. and Mrs. L/N" as your mother materialized from the kitchen, glaring at the two of you with a blank expression. "Hey! Princess, why didn't you tell me we'd be having guests? I would've moved my work to my study!" Your father joked, laughing loudly as he cleared off the living room table. Your mother smiled, giving him a small "Welcome back, Miles! Food should be done in a couple of minutes, alright?"

The two of you stood in shock, utter confusion filling your mood as everyone continued on like normal. "Wait, mommy, you're not mad? Daddy, you're not either?" You asked, tilting your head to the side as your brothers began to pour in an unintentional single-file line. Your parents looked both confused and amused, your mother answering quickly. "Why would we be upset? We know Miles, lovebug. We'd be upset if you brought home some...gangbanging bum you never introduced us to." Miles sniggered, quickly walking over to the dining room table and talking to your brothers as he saved you a seat next to him. "Huh..." you hummed, slowly processing that Miles had already done everything right, and didn't need to do anything to impress the pair.

You took your seat next to Miles, watching as he quickly bonded with your older brothers. "Nah, Nah. It's not even like that. Ask her yourself" he shrugged, nodding in your direction. "Ask me what? What's happening?" You queried, leaning over the table so you could see your brothers all doing their own thing. Your brother Kazir only waved a hand at you, signifying not to worry about it as he struggled to keep a straight face. "Nah, cuz what are you saying over there that's THAT funny?"

The table began to erupt with bickering, you arguing back and forth with Kazir and Zakova. Your father came in not too long after, setting up the food and scolding your brothers for annoying you. They rolled their eyes, taking their plates and going upstairs to their rooms as you giggled under your breath. Your parents rolled their eyes, immediately returning their attention back to you and Miles. "So! Miles, how long have you and Y/N been together? We sure do hear a lot about you" your mother giggled.

You buried your face in your hands, looking down at the ground as Miles chuckled. "Well, we didn't really start dating until today? She wanted me to meet you first before jumping into anything" he sighed as he placed a gentle arm over your shoulder. Your mother seemed both shocked and pleased, sporting a warm smile as she passed a cup to Dj. "Oh wow! So you waited until she was ready to bring you here?" She asked. "Yeah! That exactly" Miles responded with a warm smile.

"That's wonderful! I'm glad to see someone in the world who knows patience. Unlike...some boys." Your father added, subtly eying your brothers. "Dad!" Navir grunted, giving him a sharp side-eye. You giggled, finishing up the last of your food as you flipped off Navir under the table, earning you a very suspicious-looking nod and a low mumble of "remember that." As Miles finished up his food, you offered to help your parents with the dishes as DJ and Navir dashed up the steps. "Nah, we got it. Go, show Miles some more of your sketches!" your mother urged as she beckoned you both upstairs.

You raced straight to your room, dragging Miles with you by the hand as you giggled all the way up. "You play smash? Or are you a Mario Kart person?" you asked, grabbing your switch and semi-flipping onto your bed. Miles looked up at your tiara case, clearly in awe about how gorgeous it looked as he mumbled out "Smash Bros..." You got up, climbing up on your shelf to reach the pretty pink tiara, gently holding it in your hands like the holy grail. "Pretty, right? Daddy won it for me at some sort of auction years ago!"

Miles nodded, watching as the pink crystals glimmered underneath the dim yellow light of your room. He gently took the tiara from your hands, placing it as delicately as possible on your head and fluffing out your curls. You attempted to fight the smile that formed on your face as he turned you around, facing your mirror as he rested his hands on your hips. "¿Ves? Una chica tan bonita" He cooed as he gave your face a little squeeze with his hand, watching as your smile widened in the mirror. "C'mon, let's play some Mario Kart" he stated as he scooped you up and sat you back down near your bedframe.

You screamed internally, laying down on your bed with your pretty pink switch in your hands as you fought the urge to kick and scream into your pillow. He casually took out the 'spare switch' you had in your nightstand, that was basically his as he booted up Mario Kart. He chuckled lowly, looking over at you before mumbling a menacing "I'm not letting you win" into your ear as you chose your racer. "Me and baby peach will fucking smoke you, try me" You spat, giggling as he gave you a small pat on your head. "Sure, Mamas. Sure you will" he taunted as the countdown sounded off.

You spent 30 minutes trying to beat Miles in Mario Kart, feeling like you were on the verge of tears until he let you win. "LETS FUCKING GOOOOO!" you shouted, standing up on your bed and flexing as you yelled like a madman. Miles's eyes widened in amusement, gently holding your ankle so you wouldn't fall as he reminded you to be careful and that you still had your tiara on. You held your tiara firmly, carefully sitting back down on your bed with Miles as you turned off your switch. "I'M THE GOAT. ME! I'M HIM!! I'M HER!!" You shouted, watching as Miles laughed at your antics.

"How does it feel to lose? Get mixed. I know it hurts." You retorted, crossing your arms and holding your head up high. Miles blankly stared at you for a minute, giggling quietly. "First of all, I let you win cuz yo ass was about to cry. Second of all, you won 1 round of 20-" he began, voice laced with obvious amusement. "I don't care! I won! I won! C'mon, let's go make these victory cookies."

You quickly jogged down the stairs, nodding your head upward to greet your brother DJ, who was staring deeply at the blue-ish light of his phone screen. "What y'all bouta do?" he asked blankly, not tearing his focus away from his phone. "We bouta make cookies. You want some?" You asked as you slowed down your speed-walk to the kitchen. "Yeah, as long as they not them fuckin'...mint cookies you made last time. Shit tragic."

You roll your eyes, giving him a thumbs up as Miles chuckles to himself. "ain't shit funny Morales." you grumbled as you got out the ingredients for heart-shaped sugar cookies. "My bad Mami." Miles muttered as you sat down on the kitchen counter, scrolling on your phone for a recipe on sugar cookies. You showed Miles the recipe, watching him scan over the information and ingredients as you got out the necessary contents. You spent about an hour in the kitchen, watching as Miles did most of the work.

"How the fuck you can't bake? Nigga this was YOUR idea?" he asked with a lazy smile, arms flexing as he whisked the butter, sugar, egg, and vanilla extract together. "Has anyone ever told you your arms look delectable" you stated flatly, clearly not hearing his previous question as you stared at his arms. "You don't have noooo filter! Thank you, mi muñequita" he laughs, pausing his mixing briefly to take a breather before continuing his brutal assault on the whipped butter. You gave him a small smile, adding the flour, salt, baking powder and a little bit of strawberry powder to the bowl and watching as he continued to mix the combination until it resembled a dough. You placed down some flour on a large baking sheet, rolling and kneading out the dough and breaking it into little pieces as you covered the smaller balls of dough in sugar before shaping them into hearts.

You handed the baking sheet to miles, watching as he chucked them in the oven and sat on the kitchen counter with you. He scrolled on his phone with one arm around your shoulder, briefly stopping so he could watch as your legs swung back and forth as they dangled off the counter. You hummed to yourself as you watched his phone screen, finding his feed much funnier than yours as you giggled at every other post on his explore page. He had over 5k followers on Instagram, but only followed you and four other people as he opened up his Instagram camera, snapped a quick photo of you two holding hands, careful that neither of your faces were in the camera. He uploaded the photo to his story before hopping off the counter to retrieve the cookies from out the oven.

He sat them on top of the counter, putting his phone down as he took one fresh off the tray, not even wincing as he picked up the hot cookie. "Miles! Are you okay how are you not-" you began, quickly being silenced as he place the cookie in your mouth, thumb grazing the tip of your tongue and giving you a kiss to the forehead.

"Soy puertorriqueño. That shit is nothing to me" he stated, clearly unbothered as fuck.

"Miles make me knock you out."

[not-magdi]

Media Intern Pt.2

Summary: Having your first day at your dream club

Warnings: None

Words: 1.7k

A/N: I have no idea what should happen in the next part so any ideas would be very much appreciated 😂 (Please help me)

Part 1

Today was Y/N's first day at FC Barcelona, after jumping around in her apartment for half an hour with Carmen and getting a noise complaint from a few neighbors afterward. She read the email completely, which told her she had her first day next Monday at 3:00 p.m. having to be at the front desk of the media building which is next to Camp Nou. 

Monday came faster than she thought, believing she had enough time to get herself ready Y/N put it off until the last minute, her personal favorite way of dealing with things. 

Now standing before her wardrobe with a stressed-out look on her face she has no clue what she should wear for tomorrow overthinking everything relentlessly. Hearing a soft knock on her door and Carmen ask.

"Ey ... you decent?" 

"Come on ... that was one time, come in!", Y/N answers through the door continuing to look through her closet. 

Laughing Carmen comes in carrying two mugs of coffee for the two of them. " Just making sure, the one time was traumatizing enough" laughing Y/N throughs a pillow at her flipping her off. 

Grabbing her coffee she turns her gaze to her closet again, "Do you have any idea what I could wear tomorrow ... my mind's completely blank." Standing up Carmen walks up behind her laying her head on Y/N's shoulder. 

"Well it should be a little bit sporty, I would suggest skinny jeans but you swore off to those so how about black sports pants with something a little more classy?", Carmen suggests grabbing a black pair for her, thinking what she could wear to them. 

"Yeah ... how about that baby blue tee and a white oversized blouse as a jacket to make it a little bit more classy?" looking up at Carmen for approval she nods before realizing something. 

"Wait, do you mean MY white oversized blouse?" She asks Y/N, raising an eyebrow, "Maybe ...?" looking up at her with innocent eyes Y/N answers. 

"You already have it in your closet, don't you? 

"Nooo ... maybe ... ok yes, but you don't need it anyway you have like five of them." Y/N tries to defend herself but fails as she can't stop laughing at Carmen's face. 

"Ok ok enough you clothes stealing little dwarf, you need to go to sleep now ... big day tomorrow." Hugging her Carmen leaves Y/N's room taking the two empty mugs with her. Y/N sighs cleaning everything up a little bit before cuddling herself into her bed, trying to get some sleep.

"I think I'm going to throw up", pacing around before the media building Y/N looks up at Carmen with a stressed look on her face, "I'm going to make a fool of my self, no no let's go home " Rubbing her temples she turns towards the car again only to be caught by Carmen. 

"Nope ... you're not gonna quit, you're going to go in there and you're gonna rock it." dragging her back Carmen comes to a halt before the entrance. 

"14:50, perfect timing ... come on go in now you deserve to be here. Use that little brain of yours and fascinate them like you did with me." hugging her a last time she shoos her into the building. 

"Ok Y/N you're gonna smash that, deep breaths" Hyping herself up she goes in, walking up to the front desk she asks the receptionist. "Hola ... I'm here for the new job, my name is Y/N. I'm the new media Intern." 

The receptionist smiled at her friendly tipping something into her computer before speaking, "Hola Y/N, I just called your new boss downstairs he should be here any minute. I'm Camila, welcome at the FC Barcelona." she outstretches her hand shaking it with Y/N's. 

"Thank you very much" Y/N exclaims, feeling slightly more at ease already. Hearing steps behind her she turns around seeing a man in his mid-twenties coming up to them dressed in head to toe barça merch. 

"Hola Camila, hola Y/N ... I'm Léon, your new boss" Shaking her hand he hands her a pass. "That's your new work ID this allows you access to any place you currently need." 

Hanging it around her neck she follows Léon to one of the elevators, while he explains what they're going to do today. 

"So first we're going to our office, I'm gonna show you your desk and log you into our office network, then one of your new colleagues is going to give you a tour and at the end of the day you can get a few barça merch pieces, everybody gets a few. You don't have to wear them here but when we are filming away from here please do" Nodding along Y/N follows him to her new office. 

"So this is your office, there should be anything you need. For the first few weeks, you will follow Alena Martín, she is one of our head content creators, she does the filming, editing, and posting herself so with her you are getting the most experience you can get, she is in the office next to yours, you can go in there later then." pointing down the corridor to her office. 

"Do you have any questions, if not then I'll go to my office now" 

Being still slightly overwhelmed Y/N shakes her head admiring her new office, "N-no um everything is fine" 

Waving goodbye Léon leaves her office, leaving Y/N alone. She opens the windows to get a bit of fresh air in, realizing that she has a perfect view of the main training field where the boys were currently training.

Leaning on the windowsill Y/N continued to watch them for a little while, whispering to herself, " I could get used to that" 

A knock behind her startles Y/N, turning around she sees a young woman standing in the doorway with a smirk on her face. Tattoos are decorating her left arm, she looks like she could be starring in Fast and Furious, one of Y/N's favorite movies. 

"Nice view, no ?" 

"Uh, y-yes ... yeah very nice" Blushing she looks down at her feet. 

"I'm Alena, I'm going to give you a tour of our sweet old barça home today" she introduces herself shaking Y/N's hand. 

They walk through the whole building, Alena explaining everything about everyone making Y/N laugh constantly. 

"So here's the dining hall, everybody eats here even our 'unbelievably important' football stars eat with us normal people." 

"Oh, really that's cool ... um do we interact with the players often, like for challenges and stuff?" Y/N asks with a slightly nervous undertone. 

"Well, not everyone ... but yes we do. Everybody has different compartments so it doesn't get too much, we are responsible for the players so yeah we do." after a short pause she continues, "That isn't a problem for ... is it?" 

"N-no it isn't it's just ... I'm not that good with ... famous people" Cringing she thinks back to that one time she met Selena Gomez and couldn't get a word out and blushed like crazy. 

Laughing Alena assures her "Don't worry you're gonna get the hang of it, you won't believe it but they're normal people too" She strokes Y/N's back a little to calm her down. 

Coming to a halt Alena turns towards a closed door, "So we're now finished with our tour, that's our supply room for merch things. Let's get you sorted out." 

Currently, Y/N's hands are full of hoodies, pants, and t-Shirts, Alena is throwing everything she can find into her hands. 

A loud knock startles both of them, resulting in Y/N throwing everything on the floor. The door opens revealing Pablo Gavi standing in the doorway laughing.

"Sorry ... did I scare you?" he asked smirking. 

"Yeah, you idiot ... did you want to break the door down?!" Alena asked with an irritated voice. 

"No, just wanted to scare you ... mission successful" he answered, starting to search through the boxes. 

Y/N just stood there frozen, completely bewildered by their bickering, looking between them with a shocked expression. 

"Ok you scared us ... but why are you here?" Alena asked Pablo with a fake annoyance in tone. 

"I lost my team jacket again and I need it tomorrow, do you know where they are? " he asked starting to search around again. 

"Yes I know where they are ... I'll grab it for you, you only cause chaos. You help Y/N pick her things up again and I get you jacket" Turning around Alena walks off.

"Who's Y/N?" 

"I'm Y/N ... h-hi" Waving she starts to blush under his gaze. 

"You're new here aren't you ... I haven't seen you around," he says, still looking slightly skeptical. 

"Um ... y-yeah it's my first day, I'm the new media intern", Y/N answers trying to sound unbothered by his presence. 

"They sent her as a support for me, you guys are unbearable alone" Alena exclaims, coming back with the said jacket in her hand, smirking at his hurt expression. 

"What are you talking about ... we are a delight" he dramatically exclaims putting a hand on his heart. 

"Pablo Gavira what are you dreaming about at night," she asks earning herself an offended huff from Pablo. 

Leaning down he picks Y/N's clothes up handing them to her with a smirk, "Well then, new media intern Y/N, it's lovely to meet you" Extending his hand for her to shake she takes it greeting him with a shy smile. 

"Nice to meet you too," she says shaking his hand, happy her voice sounds steady again. 

They hold eye contact longer than they needed too, until Alena broke them out of their trance. 

"Okok enough with the flirting now ... we have to get going "Throwing his jacket at him she shoos him out of the room locking the door behind them. 

"Well bye then ladies ... see you on Friday" Turning around he leaves them alone again.

"I ... w-we weren't ... flirting" Y/N tries to defend herself but fails as Alena just kept smirking. 

"You weren't, you looked like a deer in headlights but he definitely did, did you see they way he was smirking the whole time" she tells Y/N laughing, wrapping an arm around her walking her back to the front hall. 

"Just be careful, he's ... well he's a little bit of a player when it comes to girls. You know a typical young football player ego"

"Yeah ... you get that vibe from him that he knows he's hot"

"Oh ... so you think he's hot?" Alena teases her with a smirk.

"You know what ... yes and I stand by that" Y/n answers laughing

The two of them arrive at the front desk again and Alena says goodbye to Y/N promising to mail her, her new workplan today evening.

Thanking her, Y/N makes her way outside texting Carmen to pick her up, but the only thing on her mind was this. 

Pablo Gavi just flirted with me, and I looked stupid while he did it …

[writingquestionsanswered]

ADHD & Starting a New WIP

Anonymous asked: i've been using chatgpt to avoid clogging your inbox, but it wasn't much helpful since it sent me in loops. I remember you writing about having ADHD which is why I felt you were qualified to answer this.

Please never worry about clogging my inbox... I'll get to everything in time. ♥ And yes, I do have ADHD, so here goes...

I have a problem that is more relevant to my autism/adhd: choice paralysis and indecisiveness. It is impacting my writing too much. No matter what advice I read, nothing is helping. I can't come up with/decide on a plot. I don't have a "feeling" like I used to anymore to just go with something. My brain HAS to explore EVERY option before deciding. There's just too much power in creating a story, and I don't think I can handle it. Do you have any tips to handle this indecisiveness and just actually do something? Do you mind sharing your own process when you start a brand new WIP and the only characterisation you have is "This is John, he wants to be a writer" and nothing else?

[Ask was edited for length...]

Dealing with Indecisiveness and Competing Ideas

Step 1 - Get Everything Out - Start with a brainstorming session and get all the ideas out on paper. All of those "explore every option" ideas... write them all down. Write down ideas until you can't think of anything else to write.

Step 2 - Take Stock - Next, count up all your ideas and organize them if need be... for example, if some of the ideas are related to character but others are related to setting, group them into their specific groups. Then, count up how many ideas you have in each group. Like, 17 character ideas, 10 world ideas, 4 plot ideas.

Step 3 - Eliminate by Half - I find it very helpful to eliminate my ideas by half just as a disciplinary means of keeping things in check. So, I would need to eliminate 7 or 8 character ideas, 5 world ideas, and 2 plot ideas. This is hard but it has to be hard. The point is to force yourself to not overthink it. Set a timer for a minute if you have to and say that you have to circle 8 character ideas before the timer goes off. Any ideas that aren't circled by the time the buzzer goes off will not be considered. Again, it's harsh, but for me it works.

Step 4 - Save the Ideas You Eliminate - This is KEY. Having a notebook or document where you save discarded ideas makes it easier to eliminate them because you don't feel like you're throwing them out. You're just saving them for later to be recycled for future projects.

Step 5 - Play Around a Bit - Look at your remaining ideas... let's say the 8 character ideas... is there anything you can discard right off the top? Are there any ideas that thrill you more than the others? Can any ideas be combined somehow? Can any of these ideas easily be fleshed out a little further?

Step 6 - Eliminate by Half Again and Again- The idea above is to try to condense things by combining ideas and/or seeing which ideas speak to you and which really don't. Take those 8 character ideas and narrow them down to 4. Set the timer again if you have to. Then, do it again until you have only two ideas.

Step 7 - Look at Pros/Cons - Now it comes down to picking between two ideas. Do a pro/con list for each. Does one idea thrill you more? Is one idea more fleshed out? Does one idea require more research? Does one idea feel too close to a previous story? Once you have a pro/con list for each idea, you can see which idea is probably better. And, once again, the idea that isn't used goes into the document to be saved for later.

Starting a Brand New WIP with ADHD

My process is always a little bit different, but I do usually start with a brainstorming session where I just write down all the random ideas I have. From there, I narrow things down (using the above method) to just the ideas I want to move forward with, then I usually free write a general summary of the story as I see it playing out in that moment. Depending on the idea, this can be just a couple vague paragraphs or it can be pages of detailed events. Either way, having some idea of the beginning to end story is important. Once I know the needs of the story, I can start to think more about the characters and their needs based on the story. This is where it's pretty essential to understand things like Plot Driven vs Character Driven Stories, Understanding Goals and Conflict, Basic Story Structure, and How to Move a Story Forward. The more I know about the needs of my story (the story conflict, my character's goal, who or what stands against them, etc.) the easier it is to flesh out the story. I'm a planner, so from there I will usually draw out a general timeline and a scene list, but some writers may find it easier to just start writing from here.

Three of the biggest game changers for me--which honestly I still struggle with sometimes--are:

-- Setting up a routine: having a specific time, place, and duration to write. Even if it's sitting on my bed for ten minutes in the morning to write. Just having something set makes a difference.

-- Eliminating Distractions: no phone, no TV, no music with lyrics, no internet, nothing that will draw my attention away from writing.

-- Good Vibes Only: I'm not a fan of toxic positivity, but negativity and self-criticism will surely take the wind out of your writing sails. I try to give myself small, reachable goals, but if I don't reach them or don't feel like writing on a given day, I don't beat myself up about it. Instead, I try to find something fun to do that's related to my story, like saving pictures for a mood board or auditioning songs for a playlist. That positive reinforcement (and sense of accomplishment for moving the needle forward in some way) keeps writing from becoming something I dread, and that positivity will hopefully follow me into the next day and help me to write.

I hope that helps!!! ♥

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[a-s-levynn]

Happy little trees

aka the only way i know how to draw trees, and even that is thanks to Bob Ross

@alexghost07 I hope this helps! ♥

Always click for better quality, tumblr is not friendly to most image ratios !

Most people (including myself originally) are simply overthinking it. Especially if you are working with a medium that has one colour on a spectrum. For example a graphite pencil. Like i do.

These are so simple that it just.. for me it always felt like cheating almost. It cannot be this easy can it? Well, it is.

For me what helped is that now i never draw them with anything harden than a 2B pencil and very rarely softer than a 4B but there is no rules for these things. Do what feels right and comfortable for you and your desired end result.

And it's not that it would not be doable with a B or HB or even an H pencil, i just prefer the softer side. Easier to control and has an inherent softness that lends itself great to foliage if you are not aiming for high detail. At least for me.

But even between 2B and 2B are differences depending on the quality of the graphite. And a 4B for comparison.

And the scanned version to actually see the differences:

Not a huge difference but everyone has preferences or ideas what goes better with the given drawing or look they try to achieve.

You can also play with the darkness, naturally, to make it even more silhouette than tree:

But maybe the biggest help for me was to switch pencil hold for this. Usually i hold my pencils and pens either like this, this or this:

It is dependent if my hand is hurting/cramping or the area i'm drawing or how i want my lines to fall, how defined or blended shading i want, or to avoid smudgeing if i'm too lazy to get something to put under my hand etc.

But for the trees i am holding it like so:

I do this for these trees or foliage of similar kinds. For bushes and other kinds of trees i just make the trunks a bit more gnarly and the crowns more fluffy in a cloud esque way, and let everything blend together. The viewer's brain fills out most of it anyway.

The goal is for me to evoke foliage just enough to be translated and recognized as for examople: a road between bushes and trees. (instead of beeing just random scribbles on paper)

(I also made the farther ones lighter because as you look towards the horizon in larger expanses, the further away things are, the lighter and less defined they seem.)

And the obligatory video, just so you can actually see what i'm talking about here. Until 2:40 it is real time, so you can see at the actual speed how i am doing these. The rest of the video is about x5.2 speed.

Originally it was almost 8 minute so let's say this little scene took about 10 minutes altogether. It definitely looks like a 10 minute sketch but i love this type of stuff. It's low effort and still looks good.

This is with a single 4B pencil and a white pencil thingie i talked about before.

(No sounds on the video besides the pencil on the paper. Also shout out to my goblet, replacing the RedBull can from last time. ✌🏻)

The main thing is that i try to avoid it to be too symmetrical but still keeping a level of semi-symmetry because pine trees do have a natural symmetry.

And the propeerly scanned end results:

I really hope it helps, because these are very fun to draw and far more easier than people might originally think.

Thank you again if you read this far, happy creating! I hope your day is kind to you. ♥

[pttwice]

n!d twice hc (3/3 dachaetzu)

to the anon who requested a nd!twice hc, i have tried my best! if there's anything else you would want to see or something else like this just send a request my way and i'll try my best :)

nd!dahyun (1)

dahyun has ocd and it usually presents itself in checking and intrusive thoughts

sometimes even if she's early to get somewhere, she'll still be late because she spent 10 minutes checking and rechecking that she turned all the lights off and unplugged anything dangerous

even though they're quite annoying and make her brain hurt, sometimes she has funny intrusive thoughts like "what if i just ate a whole bag of cheese" until she ate a little bit of cheese

most of the time her intrusive thoughts aren't as friendly. she tells momo since her brain has justified that she’s the most trustworthy — all the girls are trustworthy but her brain is just picking momo — and so momo tells her that (for example) touching the burning hot stove really isn't good and it would hurt a lot

dahyun can have very hard days to get through when her checking and intrusive thoughts overlap. it could be something like if she doesn't check if the stove is off (despite not using it the whole day) then her whole family will get hurt

the members are all really patient with dahyun if they need to leave somewhere but dahyun has to go back and check things a few times. they've learned to add in extra time just so dahyun can comfortably check things

nd!chaeyoung

chaeyoung has add and although she really really struggled with it when she was little, she does a lot better with it now, especially since her members are all really patient with her and always willing to help her

she worries a lot about what people think of her and her unnies have to remind her that she's lovely in every way. sometimes all it takes is a little pep talk and she's feeling better, but sometimes a member sits with her and just holds her until she feels okay

she loves making her art, but since the v live whenever they were first starting out, she still feels a little self conscious of it. she's afraid that people won't like it or think that she's not a fun person

even though they can be complete opposites, nayeon is chaeyoung's favorite to talk to whenever she's having a hard day. she thinks her unnie listens really well and always offers really good advice and good hugs

whenever she's stressed out, it's really hard for chaeyoung to focus on anything. practice is especially hard. her unnies are there for her though to gently encourage her so she can make it through a whole song before taking a break

she has trouble focusing on little details with the dances, but after a few on the side lessons with momo, she slowly makes it through them. with her art though, she's able to add in fine details even if she can only draw for a few minutes before moving on to the next thing

nd!tzuyu (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

tzuyu is autistic! and she also absolutely adores her mamas nayeon and jeongyeon when she's little (she loves them when she's big as well)

tzuyu is like a little puppy who needs a little extra special care. she can be very talkative and happy about her special interests but gets overwhelmed really easily

whenever she's in front of cameras, she's not very talkative because she's afraid she's going to mess up and embarrass herself and this usually leads to a meltdown because she overthinks

tzuyu loves soft things. her blanket, her sutffed puppy Poppy, and especially her weighted blanket. whenever she's big, tzuyu uses a 20 pound weighted blanket. whenever she's little she only uses a 10 pound weighted blanket because her mamas want to make sure the pressure and weight isn't too much

her special interests are dogs, bread, and pokémon! she could go on for hours about dogs especially if you let her because they're cute and soft and cool and... just perfect

her meltdowns range from mild to severe. if it's a mild one, it's fairly easy for any of the members to help her calm down. if her meltdown is more severe and she's hurting herself by hitting her head on the floor or biting herself, 2yeon have to step in

little autistic!tzuyu absolutely adores her mamas. they always love and cuddle her and make her feel safe. they call her sweet names and even though she's not supposed to, jeongyeon gives her ice cream before bed (an extra one for tzu because she has a special place in my heart)

[stars-tonight]

if you would like a long or short matchup (short will take less time and will only include the character; long will probably include a few headcanons)

Long please!!

1. if you would like a platonic (like friends) or romantic (couple) matchup

1. Romantic please!

2. gender / pronouns

1. Female, she/her/hers

3. if you would like to be paired with a girl or guy

1. Guy please :)

4. your ideal partner (at least three traits)

1. My ideal partner would love me the way that I love them. I think when people say to couples “oh the way he just looks at you you can tell he’s head over heels” is the sweetest thing ever. I would need someone to be understanding and patient with me, I tend to be more introverted, and am prone to forgetting super important things a lot. (Birthdays, answering texts, first day of work, even forgot what day my mom went in for a big surgery-) I also need someone that I can goof off with, and I don’t feel judged by. So the simple answer, someone who is kind, funny, gives me heart eyes on occasion, and incredibly patient.

5. a description of yourself (at least three traits)

1. I am like a little ball of anxiety but people say I don’t show it much. In reality I’m at home, not allowing myself to drink caffeine and meditating, journaling or doing yoga just to get my brain to be quiet. I overthink a lot, and also forget things pretty often too. I am pretty introverted, my battery drains quickly when I’m somewhere new and don’t know anyone. However, I’ve been told I am very patient, sweet and kind with others. I am my own harshest critic, and will work myself beyond burnout if someone doesn’t stop me. I am caring, and have been told I tend to be the mom friend in the sense that I give good advice. I also am heavy on the routine aspect, and hate getting knocked out of it. If anything goes wrong I tend to try to go with the flow, but that requires me to have a quiet minute to myself to breathe properly and hype myself up.

6. hobbies (let’s aim for at least two?)

1. Reading

1. I tend to gravitate towards romance books, hence the hopeless romantic in me coming out

2. I also like memoirs as well

2. Playing my switch

1. Most games I play are similar to animal crossing or stardew valley with no end goal

2. I do like breath of the wild and tears of the kingdom, I’ll play games with stories it’s just hard for me because I’m so exhausted all the time :”)

3. Does watching tv/movies count?

4. Cooking (not as good at baking but I love sweet treats)

7. your love languages (giving and receiving)

1. Giving - words of affirmation and acts of service

2. Receiving - quality time and words of affirmation

8. anything else you want to include (the more detail the better!)

1. I am pretty average height with short brown hair and brown eyes. I am currently going to grad school at night, working at a daycare during the day, and am soon getting a job on weekends so I’m just tired 24/7. However, the grad school is to become a teacher one day, and the daycare tends to remind me why I’m doing all of this, just seeing the kids smile makes me so happy. I love helping other people out, and am a huge people pleaser. I tend to stress myself out more than anything else, and have talked myself into freaking out over something small. I cry at almost everything, happy tears, sad tears, angry tears, but never in public, I hold it until I’m alone most times. I love to workout but I haven’t had the energy as of lately, even if I am known for having a high amount of energy, having things to take care of 24/7 with no break really wears you out. I love to hype people up, and put smiles on peoples faces, even if they’re not always nice to me I kill people with kindness. (I am well known for also being able to be fake to the right people to get myself places, but hate doing it)

headcanons

🥛 yamaguchi gives heart eyes for sure

🥛 even before the relationship starts

🥛 he'll be looking at you from across the room, head propped up on hand, dreamy smile, the whole deal

🥛 tsukishima will have to elbow him to get him to pay attention to anything

🥛 yamaguchi also strikes me as patient

🥛 has to put up with tsukishima after all

🥛 your biggest quiet hypeman

🥛 isn't the type to do big gestures in public

🥛 but when you're at home or it's just the two of you he'll give you a really nice pep talk

🥛 he wears his heart on his sleeve and as a result is great with words

🥛 always knows how to cheer you up, whether it's with words or time spent together

🥛 likes more chill dates or hangouts

🥛 loves reading together, watching shows, or cooking

🥛 will sometimes play video games with you although he's not obsessed with them

🥛 yamaguchi can sometimes also be a ball of anxious energy so he needs someone to calm him down

🥛 just hearing your voice as you talk to him makes him feel better though

🥛 is very pleasantly surprised by anything you do for him

🥛 100% gushes about you to the whole karasuno team

🥛 post-timeskip, he's in school

🥛 will call you every night and chat for hours

🥛 whenever he's on break he is RUNNING back to you

🥛 misses you so much whenever he's away

🥛 because he's also in school, he knows how stressful student life can be

🥛 although he can't imagine how much is on your plate since you do so much during the day too

🥛 always reminds you to take it easy

🥛 if he senses that you're feeling more stressed out than usual, he'll go out of his way to send you encouraging messages

🥛 if he's on break for school and has to go back, and he knows you're having a tough time, he'll probably set up something like a little treasure hunt for you

🥛 every "treasure" is a note from him with a super sweet message like "i love your smile when you're working with the kids"

runner up for you was akaashi keiji!

A/N: there you go, i hope you liked it! a reminder to take a break if you need it! i know it can be hard but make sure you eat, drink water, get some sunshine! hope you feel better soon 🫶

[kurorotic]

nsfw bokuaka | 2am booty call

the low light of akaashi's phone highlights his jawline, he's been staring at the same picture for... forty-five minutes now?

it's not like he was keeping track of the time, it's... his boyfriend is really hot, okay?!

they started dating just two months ago, akaashi had never really done /this/ while bokuto had some experience with a previous girlforiend.

and in that line of experience was the ability to take the perfect thirst trap slash nude.

(his cock is out, that's nude territory, right?

but it's more like the head peeking out from the towel loosely wrapped around his hips.

there's also his freshly showered abs, his tits, his really big arms... akaashi has been drooling at each and every part of this picture.

there's others were bokuto dropped the towel and jerked his cock, but /this/ one has akaashi's attention.

he knows what's under the towel, ofc. but its how bokuto is thumbing it down to tease. how his cock is hard and can barely be contained.

all for akaashi.

he thought of akaashi in the shower and took pics to show proof of how his baby affected him and akaashi just.

he does that to bokuto? he gets his boyfriend that horny?

it makes akaashi want to hide under the sheets.

only to open his phone and stare at the photo again.

maybe because it's the first time bokuto was so bold with sending himself. it's kinda expected since he's impulsive but...

idk! akaashi didn't think they were that kind of couple yet?

bokuto reassured him that he didn't need to send anything back, he was just feeling horny and sexy and wanted to give akaashi a little... something spicy.

(more like the greatest set of pictures in human history, nothing can possibly compare. ever.)

he wants it.

he wants that cock somewhere inside of him, those arms crushing him, those tits in his mouth.

it's quite late though... would bokuto be annoyed if he called? akaashi would hate to be woken up at... 2:09 am.

but it's like horny reasons? selfish horny reasons.

masturbating would be easy, especially if akaashi just went straight for the climax and nothing more.

but he needed bokuto here. that's what his boyfriend is for... when it's not this late in the night.

a full night's sleep is important for his captain,

he shouldn't disturb that.

buuuut if bokuto called him at literally any time of the day asking to fuck? akaashi would be there without a second thought.

... that may be the horny brain speaking. god he was so, so fucking horny for bokuto.

he tapped out of the photos to see bokuto as his recent contact (they said goodnight to each other and sent kisses) and now akaashi is. wavering over the call button.

what if bokuto doesn't want to? hard to imagine, wouldn't it be a little

toxic to demand your boyfriend come over at... 2:15 am to fuck?

seflish, inconvenient, bothersome-

'Keiji, please stop reading those relationship advice threads...'

kuroo's voice was welcomed in his head. for once. he's being silly.

bokuto agreed to booty calls when they became boyfriends.

as for the time, maybe... 2:18 am wasn't ideal, but isn't that the whole point?

okay let's just call bokuto before akaashi's boner dies from overthinking.

ring, ring, ring.

ring, ring, ring.

ring-

"Babe? Sup?"

oh my god bokuto sounds so sleepy, akaashi's cock jumps at how husky his voice is.

"Somethin' wrong?"

"No... um, well I..." akaaashi cannot possibly do this, nope.

"Can't sleep, baby?"

akaashi whimpers, just straight up whimpers like a needy puppy.

that's not sexy at all, bokuto is leaving him.

"... are you crying or like... jerking it?"

"Neither," akaashi blurts out, "... but I'm... really horny right now and I was wondering if you would like to participate in a booty call..."

...

akaashi needs to burn his phone.

"Huh..."

he hears shuffling in the background, bokuto is drawing up the divorce papers.

"Give me 20? I'ma borrow my dad's car."

"Really?"

"I'm soooo not turning down the chance to hit that sweet ass, babe."

akaashi's face is erupting into flames.

"Leave the front door unlocked for me, kay? Can you be good for me?"

"Yea... yeah I can."

"Good boy, I'll take care of you."

akaashi doesn't bother with putting on pants as he hurries down the stairs in just his sleeping shirt and boxers... and his aggressively hard cock.

this is new. this is exciting. this is something he'd kind of fantasized about but never thought he'd be doing it???

it's going to make a great journal entry when he's running on more than 5 hours of sleep.

he hops back into his bed, he should probably try to look sexy? or well i guess the point is kinda just getting fucked then and there...

he can still at least tidy up, leave out the bottle of lube and condoms.

yeah... he's so ready for a cock in his ass at... 2:42 am.

bokuto parks just outside, front door quietly opens and shuts, akaashi just... idk, throws his boxers off and pushes down the blankets and gets a hand around himself.

right as his bedroom door opens.

bokuto looks like he definitely just woke up.

his hair is down, his shirt is on backwards, his sweats are at least probably clean?

but he still looks so handsome.

"Couldn't wait for me, hm?"

"I tried, but... you make me so..."

"So...?

bokuto slides right between akaashi's legs.

"Needy... I've never wanted it so badly..."

"I'll give you just what you want, love."

a hand on his shoulder pushed him backwards on the pillows, their lips locked as bokuto replaced the hand on akaashi's cock. so much better with him.

why waste his own energy masturbating when bokuto could handle it all for him?

lubed fingers in his tight, virgin hole, teeth possessively biting into his neck as akaashi /tries/ to stay quiet.

the team will know what they did last night... that turns akaashi on even more.

bokuto doesn't rush although akaashi softly begs for more, he wants that cock inside of him. he's been staring at it all night, is that why kenma has such a huge collection of...

... akaashi needs to invest in more bokuto cock pictures.

"Bo..."

"You're almost ready, ok?"

the steady stretch and thrusting of three fingers almost makes him lose his train of thought.

"I want you to... take a picture when you're inside me... or record it."

bokuto's fingers stutter, those golden eyes are wide on him.

"... or don't, that's probably weird."

"You wanna see your cute hole wrapped around my cock?" bokuto fucks his fingers into him harder now, "you need to watch yourself get fucked by me? See the very moment I pop your tight cherry?"

how was akaashi supposed to respond to any of that,

especially with those rough fingers in him???

bokuto cupped a hand over his mouth to prevent his moans from spilling out, "didn't think you were like that, keiji."

his fingers curled in akaashi and that had him whining against his palm, bokuto was too good at taking him apart.

"I'll need you to stay quiet though, so..." bokuto swiped akaashi's boxers from the floor and happily stuffed them in his mouth, "hang onto those."

akaashi was only disappointed by the empty feeling that came with bokuto's fingers leaving him.

but then.

but then he /saw/ it.

bokuto pushing off his sweats, his massive hard cock bouncing up against his stomach, bokuto tearing the condom open with his teeth.

"Your body wants this bad..."

bokuto teased as he stroked his cock and akaashi wouldn't deny that,

he just spread his legs further.

bokuto grabbed akaashi's phone from the nightstand and pointed it right down at his cock, filming every second that he penetrated his lover's hole.

big, bokuto was so fucking big.

"Taking me so well, just a little more to go, baby."

oh my god he's not done?

oh my god he's not done....

"Gorgeous..."

bokuto ran his finger along akaashi's rim, his fat cock stretching him impossibly wide.

"Wonder how much you can fit in here..."

"... try that later."

the phone was tossed to the side, bokuto took akaashi's hips and grinded into him. akaashi didn't have words to describe anything, his pretty little brain was being fucked out with each hard thrust.

he likes that... he /really/ likes that.

his strong man coming over just to fuck to him? just because akaashi called him here? god he's learning too many things about himself tonight.

bokuto knows the exact spot to hit, he keeps akaashi's hips still so his boyfriend doesn't go bouncing off into the wall,

he has such an intense gaze down on akaashi... how was akaashi supposed to last?

the boxers are pulled away from his mouth and replaced with bokuto's lips as they kiss, he eagerly swallows down his baby's broken moans.

"Good boy, you're /so/ good for me."

his orgasm rolls through him from the tips of his ears to his curled toes, fuck it's a full body experience. he's never. not this hard when he was alone.

bokuto isn't too far behind, filling the condom with akaashi's name heavy on his tongue.

his weight settles on his boyfriend as he slumps down on him. akaashi is definitely being crushed but... its oddly comforting.

"... man, you turn me into something else, Ji."

akaashi softly giggles as bokuto kisses his cheek and neck.

"Happy you gave yourself to me~"

"Of course I would..."

akaashi can sense bokuto's ego inflating and smugness rising, but that only makes akaashi love him more.

//bokuto snuck out at 6:35 am

[peachywise]

Lessons in Honesty Part 5

steve harrington x reader

Chapter 5: Enjoy the Silence

– other chapters: part 1 ⋆ part 2 ⋆ part 3 ⋆ part 4 ⋆ part 5 ⋆ part 6 ⋆ part 7 ⋆ part 8

– series synopsis: Being Robin Buckley’s younger sibling had always been uneventful, up until she got herself tangled with Steve Harrington. And really, you were happy for her. She deserved friends. What was bothersome was when he got let in on small secrets like your infatuation with Eddie Munson, and decided to take it into his own hands to try and get him to pay attention to you-- by pretending to be your boyfriend.

– notes: hello!! this is my favourite chapter so far. i got giddy writing it. shameless in my love of the tending to one another’s wound trope. this is all. please enjoy!

p.s. enjoy the silence is not an eighties song but the title fit too well for the chapter okay let me enjoy depeche mode in peace

p.p.s. i have literally tried posting this twice before only for it not to show up in the tags and if it happens again then i will hurl myself off a cliff 

read here or on ao3

_____________________________

People often say how silence can be defeating. But at this moment, with Steve beside you in the driver's seat, you thought a better way to describe the silence is by how utterly restraining it was.  

You couldn't move. Not because you were paralyzed by discomfort, but because you felt like there was a rubber band circling the both of you, and if it was disrupted, it would snap and break something irreparably. You'd waited to see if Steve would be the one to break the silence, but he'd been driving for ten minutes and hadn't even turned on the stereo.

Either the rubber band was going to snap first, or your mentality would crack under the weight of awkwardness and overthinking.

"You can listen to Wham! if you want."

Looks like your mentality was the weaker of the two.

"What?" Steve asked. Your comment knocked a brick from the mental wall behind which he had put himself. Steve turned to look at you for a brief second before suddenly turning his attention back to the road. You wondered if he had been on autopilot and just became self-aware that he had been driving this whole time.

"You know, the band," you continued. Sometimes it felt like your brain cells were small clowns packing themselves into a tiny vehicle, only to launch themselves out of your mouth and into an ocean, suffering a painful and stupid death. "I didn't actually know if you listened to them or not when I said you looked like you were dressed for their concert. Sorry if I offended you. I mean, they're not my favourite band, but if you like them, then I'll shut up, and you can play your music no problem. Then again, just cause you look like you listen to them doesn't mean you do. You could listen to Madonna for all I—"

"Buckley," Steve cut you off.

"Yeah?"

"Just turn on the radio."

"Okay."

You didn't.

And it was back to silence.

Five more minutes passed before Steve pulled into the driveway of your house and turned off the ignition. Thirty seconds passed in silence without either of you moving a muscle. And then, finally, Steve spoke.

"I'm sorry."

Steve wasn't looking at you as he said it. He leaned back against his seat as he stared at your dad's car in front of the garage. You, however, couldn't move your eyes away from him. Confusion overtook your features at his apology.

"For what?" You asked, twisting your body slightly in your seat to face him more fully.

He shifted in his seat, moving his hand up to run over his jaw. His frustration was apparent. "I shouldn't have left you alone in a place like that. I wasn't thinking." He murmured past his hand. You noticed it was red and starting to crack from where he had hit the man.

Was that really what had him so torn up? For leaving you alone? "You had no way to know someone would come up to me. And I dealt with it, Steve. I told him to leave the same as you would have. Besides, you were what, forty feet away? I don't really consider that leaving me alone."

"But you got hurt because of it," Steve spoke more resoundly, finally turning his face towards you and dropping his hand.

As if to emphasize his statement, your head throbbed with a dull pain. With how focused you were on the tension in the car, it was like you had forgotten all about it.

"I fell backward. It was more an accident because the table was there." The guy had grabbed you, sure, but the force of you pulling back caused the events that followed to happen. Not that you were acquitting that asshole of anything. It was his fault. He shouldn't have laid his hands on you in the first place. But Steve shouldn't hold guilt or anger about the fact he hadn't been standing beside you. If the guy had a few more drinks in him, he probably would have come up to you if Steve was there regardless. The same thing was bound to happen.

"I've fallen before. Had cuts and bruises. When I was seven, I even stood on top of monkey bars and fell off and broke my arm. Now that we're friends, are you going to take responsibility every time I'm injured, and you're not there? Because I'm not letting you take on the role of bodyguard too. Fake boyfriend is enough."

Steve looked at you for a quiet beat, the wheels in his head turning as he processed everything you said. Hopefully, your attempt at lightening up the conversation at the end would make everything a little less serious because you weren't sure how long you could keep hold of this metaphorical breath before you passed out. Thankfully, it seemed like something had resonated with him. There was still a tightness in the way he clenched his jaw, but he gave a slight nod of the head, looking down at his lap.

"I'm still sorry it happened," he offered, finally sounding less wound up.

"I'm sure that creep is too. That was one hell of a punch. I think you broke his nose," you gave a slight smile.

An unamused breathy laugh left him as he turned back to look at you. "Yeah, well, what are friends and fake boyfriends for, right?"

Ah, so he had picked up on that little bit of terminology you had used. Part of you thought he might have missed it with all that brooding.

Your small smile turned into a full-fledged grin. "Exactly. Next time you need someone punched, I'll go up to bat. Maybe I'll throw in the added bonus of insulting them too."

Steve laughed at that one. "Alright, alright. I think we should make sure you don't have a concussion before launching yourself into another fight," he added. "Do you want to run inside and get the first aid kit so I can check the back of your head out here? I don't want you to twist around trying to get at it and end up slamming your head into something else."

Good point. Still, it was dark outside and cramped in the car. There was a far easier solution to this. "Or you could just come inside and look at it. You said The Hideout was bound to give me an infection, but I don't think your car is much better."

"I keep my car clean, okay?" He argued petulantly. "And I don't think you want your parents waking up. I thought you didn't want them to know about what happened."

That got a snort out of you. "Please, they won't wake up for anything. My dad uses a CPAP machine, and my mom wears earplugs. Once, the fire alarm was going off cause Robin burnt some eggs in the morning, and they had no idea."

"And Robin?" Steve countered.

"We'll just use the bathroom in the basement. She won't hear a thing." Looking at the windows, you saw that all the lights were off, including in her room. Robin also had the Buckley gene of sleeping like the dead. There'd be no issue.

Seeing Steve's silent hesitancy, you rolled your eyes and unbuckled your seatbelt. "Look, I'm good either way. Either check it in the house or don't. I'm sure splashing water on it will do the trick, right?" You smiled, already climbing out of the car.

You heard Steve mutter something under his breath, but whatever it was didn't really matter. He was out of the car and trailing behind you a short second after.

******************************

If you had a diary, this scene would make for the weirdest entry to date.

Hi, diary. It's me again. You know, the outcast whose only friends like to play an intense game of make-believe every week to escape the reality of mundane life? Well, you'll never guess what happened. I went to a metal concert where some drunk guy tried to get handsy with me, and I cracked my skull open. Now Steve Harrington, ex-basketball heartthrob turned older sister's best friend, is currently poking at the hole in my head while I'm straddling a toilet seat. Life is so crazy, huh?

Maybe you should look into investing in one. Though, you weren't sure if you really wished for any of this to be recorded.

"Ow," you mumbled, twisting to look over your shoulder as the wet cloth grazed the minor cut on your head once more. Steve pushed your face back by the cheek, admonishing you with a repeated, "I told you to stop trying to look. It's not physically possible."

You mimicked his words back to him with a lower-pitched annoying sound.

When the washcloth hit the cut again, you were sure that one was actually on purpose.

"Well, you no longer have dried blood caked in your hair, and the cut is just a minor one. You should be okay," Steve commented, setting the cloth on the counter before moving over to wash his hands.

"So glad to hear I'm going to live," you amusedly said as Steve dried off his hands. He grabbed the small ointment tube in the available first-aid kit and unscrewed the cap, dotting some of the medication on the tip of his finger. He used his other hand to gently move your head back to stare at the wall so he could access the wound. His touch was so light you barely felt him apply the medicine.

"Alright, you're good to go," he said in a muffled tone. The way his fingers slipped through your hair as he moved his hand away had goosebumps rising to the back of your neck. He probably didn't even mean to do it, but the ghost of that touch lingered as you rose to stand up. Steve cleaned off the excess ointment from his hands. Your eyes lingered on his movements, noticing how the irritated red on his knuckles had worsened as time passed. It was going to bruise. And while the split in his lip and small cut on his knuckle didn't exactly scream severe, you figured it was best to return the favour. You didn't miss that minor wince he gave when he'd wiped his hand dry on the towel.

"Your turn," you said, lifting yourself up to sit on the bathroom counter before rummaging through the kit for some hydrogen peroxide and something to wrap his hand with.

Steve gave a resolute, "I'm fine," as he crossed his arms.

Peering up at him with a raised brow, you reached forward to cup his jaw in your hand. The sudden widening of his eyes at your action quickly changed to one experiencing a sudden sting when you gently ran a thumb over the cut on his lip. "Don't lie to me, Hero. Amuse me just this once," you said as you dropped your hand back down to your lap. Steve gave you an overly-cautious look.

His shoulders dropped some of their tension when he finally relented with a muttered, "whatever, just… get it over with."

"Trust me. I'm a better doctor than I am a patient," you grinned, taking off the cap from the hydrogen peroxide bottle. You grabbed his hurt hand and held it over the sink.

"That's not saying much. You're a terrible patient," he retorted, but his admonishment quickly became an expression of pain once you poured the solution over the cut knuckle. "Ow," he bit out, trying to yank his hand back. You squeezed it tighter and looked up at him with a slight shake of your head. "Who's the terrible patient now," you muttered.

Bringing his hand closer to your lips, you softly blew cold air on the stinging skin, mentally noting the feel of his hand in yours. His hand was soft. That was unexpected. It wasn't without calluses— you couldn't hazard a guess from what— but mostly, you noticed how warm it was. Holding his hand wasn't exactly… an uncomfortable experience. You almost wish it were.

When you finally released your grip, you momentarily glanced up at him. He was looking at you with an indiscernible expression. Partly calm, partly confused, wholly serious. You started to feel like there was restricted breath in the small space between you and him.

"How often do you go around punching people, anyway?" You spoke, trying to break out of the silence as you grabbed the previous ointment he had used on your head.

"What do you mean?" Steve asked, pulling his hand back and taking a minor step out of your space.

"I heard you punched Jonathan Byers when you and Nancy first started dating. Something about thinking she was cheating, and a certain theatre sign that read Nancy 'The Slut' Wheeler."

"Oh." Steve gave a simple reply, "Yeah. Not my proudest moment." He shuffled his weight once from foot to foot. It was clearly a challenging subject. I mean, why wouldn't it be? And to bring it up now probably wasn't one of your brightest ideas. But you felt the need to understand him better. After tonight's events, it became clear Steve had this intense urge to protect people. You'd already seen it plenty of times with the young kids. But now you were beginning to truly see through this exterior he had to what was at his core—deep caring, Kindness. It was woven into the state of his entire being.

"I'll drop the subject if you want," you offered, giving him an out as you took back his hand and began putting the ointment on the split skin. "I'm just curious as to what all that was really about." It didn't seem like him, not that you would tell him that. No need to let him in on how much you had begun to take note of his character.

There was a pinch to Steve's eyebrows as he thought about what to say. "I was upset. That was really it. I thought I had seen something but didn't understand it. I didn't talk to Nance about it at all. I just… reacted." When you were finished, you wiped your hand free of the ointment, moving now to grab some bandage wrap to twine around his hand. "I regret it. I still don't get how Nancy took me back after all that, but I'm thankful for it. I had a lot to make up for. She helped me learn a lot of things. I grew up because of her. I'll always be grateful for that. It's still hard to move past all the immature shit I once did, though."

Finishing wrapping his hand, you tucked the tail end of the bandage underneath the wrap. His meaning made sense. We all do dumb stuff. But the one good thing about mistakes is our ability to learn from them. Doesn't make the actions okay or easy to grapple with. But if mistakes can help us grow, to learn, then at least they give them some semblance of meaning and purpose.

"I can see why you'd want to win her back," you softly stated, realizing you still had a hold of his hand before letting it go. Steve gripped the edge of the counter, half caging your body in. "Not sure if I consider fake dating to be out of the realm of 'immature shit,' but at least it's something we're doing together. You can't take all the blame that way."

Steve's face transformed into that odd look you couldn't figure out again. It took him a second to even say anything more. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess you're right," he weakly smiled as the words tumbled out of him.

He must really be scared the plan wasn't going to work. Not that he needed Nancy to continue to be a good person. He was that all on his own. But he did deserve happiness.

"For what it's worth, I think you owe yourself a little more credit for who you are now," you smiled, remembering him saying something similar when you told him how Eddie helped you out of your social isolation. Grabbing a clean face cloth, you ran it under the tap and put the smallest amount of soap on top. Cleaning his lip with peroxide probably isn't the wisest idea.

"Dustin and the others respect you because it's easy to look up to someone like you. You're a safe presence," you murmured, not used to being so open with people. You couldn't exactly look him in the eye, so instead, you focused your attention entirely on cleaning the area of his split lip. "Hell, my sister loves you. And you're friends with her and support her, knowing exactly who she is. She wouldn't stick around you if you weren't someone worth being around."

You weren't sure if Steve wasn't saying anything because you had been cleaning his lip or if he just didn't have anything to reply to. Putting the cloth aside, you dotted some more of the Polysporin to your finger and gently dabbed it on the cut.

"My point is, Nancy may have helped, but you're the one who chose to be better. It was always there in you. You're a kind person, Steve Harrington. I think people are better with you in their life than without."  

The sudden movement of his hand encircling your wrist and stopping you had your gaze flying up to his in surprise. "You really think that's true?" his voice was quieter, lower. It was the first time you noticed how the pitch of his voice was almost melodious.

You got the feeling he was asking you if you thought your life was better with him in it than without. And the only thing you could respond with was the instinctual truth.

"I do."

And the silence like a rubber band was back, his eyes intent on yours, his hand sliding down from your wrist to take hold of your hand.

You felt like all your thoughts shut off all in one moment. You weren't sure what was happening, but you made no move to end it. You no longer felt restrained by this bubble but comforted despite the nervous buzz across your arms.

Steve moved closer to the counter, lips opening to say something more.

And then the rubber band snapped anyway.

"Are you talking to yourself, you weirdo—" Robin's voice cut into the small space you two created. Steve quickly launched himself back, stumbling but catching himself as he cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair as he looked everywhere except at you or Robin.

Your hand was dropped back onto your lap, and in your surprise, you jerked back away from Steve. Unfortunately, that meant smacking your sore head against the mirror and letting out a less quiet, painful, "Jesus Christ!"

Robin's own body had gone into a state of static shock. Her movements paused in the doorway as her eyes moved from you to Steve, then back to you again.

"Uh… What the hell are you two doing?"

Robin pinched the bridge of her nose between two fingers and took what you hoped was meant to be a calming breath. Once that was done, Robin stepped forward and ushered you to move off your seated position on the counter. You did, and she rested a hand on your shoulder. "You, go to bed," she ordered, practically shoving you out the door. You turned to look back at them both as Robin stared Steve down and said, "and you and I are going to have a little talk before you go."

"Oh, Robin, hey!" Steve lifted his hand in greeting as if trying to be casual would help this situation seem less suspicious than it looked. Robin gave Steve one of her signature looks, aiming to make someone two sizes smaller. It worked. "They got into a bar fight and hit their head," Steve spilled out, pointing in your direction like someone identifying a criminal in a lineup.

"Hey, it wasn't a bar fight!" You gasped, pointing back to him as you whipped your head toward your sister. "And Steve's the one who punched a guy!"

You caught the nervous look on his face before Robin practically kicked the door closed.

________

tag list: @rexorangecouny @simonsbluee @felicityofbakerstreet @heytherejulietx @ohashley101 @youngflower @katsukiswrld @ramona-thorns @theblairwaldorf2 @fezco-mylove @hxrgreeves @jbcalway @heizenka @edenstarkk @greekktragedy @trishiepo0 @nonpoppin @bimboshaggy 

[lubdubsworld]

物の哀れ ( ‘the sadness of things’.)

Alpha Jungkook x Omega Oc!

Genre : Angst , Hurt/ Comfort.

    Chapter 1  ⋆  Chapter 2  ⋆  Chapter 3     Chapter 4  ⋆  Chapter 5   ⋆   

    Chapter 6   Chapter 7     Chapter 8

Summary : Nine months after her marriage ends, Kim Heejin is a reclusive artist, who works out of a renovated warehouse in Busan, her days and nights spent with canvas and paint. Its exactly what she’s ever wanted, to be left alone. And yet, that nagging feeling of incompletion keeps her on her toes. And perhaps, it is that longing for something substantial, something real that pushes her to give her flawed but lovable ex-husband another chance.

Chapter 9

 “I… No. Just… please tell him I’ll be down…I’ll come down to the lobby to meet him.” I said quickly, panicking at the idea of having him here. I’d barely been here a day but this was still my space. And if I had him here then his scent would just seep into every nook and corner. 

The room would smell like him then… And what would I do after he left?

God, what was I even thinking? Head swimming, I crawled to the edge of the bed and breathed shakily. 

It felt surreal, climbing out of the bed and moving to the vanity . I stared at myself in the mirror as I grabbed the makeup bag I kept with me all the time. Wide eyes and parted lips, creamy gold skin turning lily white because of how the blood had just drained after that phone call. 

I looked petrified .

Jungkook… I thought numbly. Jungkook’s waiting downstairs and I’m going to see him. 

What is he thinking.... What is he feeling... why is he even here? 

You’re not responsible for his emotions, Taehyung’s soothing voice in my head helped a bit but not a whole lot. What about my emotions, I though desperately, grabbing the tube of gloss and slowly uncapping it. I ran the end of it over my lips and felt my fingers tremble because I didn’t know why I felt this need …to look beautiful.

I didn’t need to, I though miserably. Everyone knew omegas were beautiful. Beta supermodels were beautiful yes but they couldn’t hold a candle to me, at least for someone like  Jungkook. He was an alpha, his brain was built to find me attractive. I had evolutionary genetics on my side, which mean that if I ever actually wanted to seduce Jungkook , he wouldn’t really stand a chance .

But I didn’t want that.

I had had enough of that. Enough of seeing handsome, rich alphas being reluctantly attracted to me. They made it obvious too. Most of the hate mail I got stemmed from angry wives or girlfriends accusing me of seducing their men , even though  I’d never so much as laid my eyes on them. It was so unfair. 

I didn’t enjoy watching them lose their minds at the sight and scent of me, because i knew that deep down,  they thought that all omegas were scum. 

Manipulative, sex driven , greedy and selfish . Those were the labels I got plastered with , on the media and on the streets. 

And Jungkook wasn’t different, I reminded myself firmly, pulling away from the mirror and grabbing the loose powder and dusting down some of it on the apple of my cheeks and down the length of my nose. 

He didn’t think any different than the others. Jungkook’s views on omegas were just as archaic and bigoted as everyone else’s .

He just didn’t act on them .

Sighing, I dropped the lipgloss back in the back and brushed my hair off my face. On a whim , I pulled off the hair tie holding the thick strands together, letting the wavy tresses fall over my shoulder. I hadn’t cut my hair in a long time and it felt to my hips now. My stylist was adamant that it added to my aesthetic.

  A primal siren, she had said staring at me in awe, like something eternal and beautifully dangerous. We’re lucky you seem incapable of hate, Heejin ...because I think you could bring grown men to their knees with that body and that face. 

I felt nauseous at the thought of it.   

Walking to the elevator felt like walking the plank and I had stop a couple of times, just to breathe deeply. I had to be smart about this. I was in therapy. Taehyung had taught me how to handle situations like this and while my heart was pounding too hard and my brain was too scrambled to use any of his therapy techniques, I still had some of my cognitive abilities intact. 

He came here, i thought desperately. 

He came looking for you and that means he isn’t nervous or worried or overthinking this because he doesn’t have feelings for you. If you want to come out of this  unscathed, you need to get your head on straight. You need to pretend that you didn’t just have a minor mental breakdown at the thought of him dating someone else. 

I took a deep breath, exhaling sharply before stepping into the elevator. The ride down to the lobby was barely a few seconds and when I stepped out, I realized the place was way too crowded for such an exclusive Hotel. And then I remembered that people were here for the Art Festival. I glanced at the reception desk, covertly, noting a conspicuous lack of Jeon Jungkook. The lady behind the desk held her hand up when she spotted me .

“Ms. Kim? Mr. Jeon just went to get you a drink...He’s over by the breakfast counter over there.” She pointed out the dining space where people were walking about getting breakfast and I swallowed, feeling hot and cold as I cautiously stepped into the crowd, trying to find a that familiar head of thick dark hair. 

I felt the apprehension build as I tugged on my bottom lip between my teeth, trying to reign in the chaos in my mind but it was impossible, everything too loud and too messy. I looked around and then, it hit me. 

His scent. 

I felt my lips part in surprise, and it felt like someone had turned the volume down , noises fading into a dull hum at the back of my mind as I stared at him. He hadn’t spotted me yet and I took a second to just....look.

He looked incredible.

There was really no other word for it. Incredibly handsome, Incredibly beautiful and so incredibly perfect as the late morning sun lit up the room, picking out the shine on his white silk shirt. I breathed in deep, my mindeasily picking out the musky pine scent of him and I stepped closer, moving straight towards him and I caught the exact moment my scent his senses.

He jerked a bit, nostrils flaring and eyes going wide before he turned, lips parted and gaze a bit unfocused as he looked around.

When he caught sight of me, he just blinked. 

I smiled weakly, body going limp with relief because.... because this was Jungkook. Not some monster I had to run from. This was Jungkook....even at his worst he had been better than some of the other people I’d met in life. 

I looked down at the drink in his hand and smiled a bit as he made his way over. 

“ This isn’t the same as buying me a coffee.” I said shakily as he finally stepped upto me.

His eyes danced with warmth. 

“What makes you think I can afford one? Besides, aren’t you the hotshot artist? Shouldn’t you be the one buying me stuff?” He said softly. 

��Just saw you on the front cover of a magazine. We both know you’re far from destitute..” Even through the smile, I felt the tug of emotion as I stared at him, felt the difference in him like night and day, the light and joy and ...contentment that seemed to radiate off him .

He smiled and held the drink out to me gently.

“ Heejin-ah.” He whispered. 

And somehow it was the sound of his voice, wrapping around the syllables of my name that finally did it. 

I felt the tears brim over, my lips parting in choked laughter as I stepped close and wrapped both my arms around him, burying my face in his neck and breathing him in. I felt him hold me, infinitely gentle and I exhaled sharply.

“I didn’t miss you,  at all.” I said shakily. He laughed lightly. 

“I missed you , too.” He stroked the back of my head gently and I sighed, fingers curling on the silk of his shirt. The fabric felt like liquid in my fingers and I played with it for a second, intensely aware that people were starting to stare. That this embrace had gone on for longer than social norms dictated but I couldn’t bring myself to care, letting my chin rest against his shoulder blades. 

And it was almost frightening.....how easy it was to pretend we weren’t broken at all. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“She was so small when I last held her... I can’t believe she’s running around.” I said, awed, listening to Jungkook tell me about how Mina liked to climb everywhere. He laughed, shaking his head. 

"She’s growing bigger everyday. I can barely keep up.” Jungkook smiled, holding a hand out for me to step over the wooden slats that lined the tiny archway that led to the door to his building. I hesitated before lightly gripping his hand in mine, the gesture somehow feeling more intimate that it was. 

“You’re not staying at the Firenze?” I asked curiously, resisting the urge to reach for his hand again when he let go.

it was such a ridiculous thing but I’d never held hands with him. And It felt ridiculously nice, to slot my fingers with his, feel them in between mine. His palm against mine, calloused but somehow so comforting. 

 I’d forgotten how warm he was.

 Don’t. Don’t fall down this rabbit hole again, Heejin. We talked about this. He doesn’t think of you that way. He doesn’t. And neither should you. its unfair to him. He doesn’t deserve that. 

“No... As you can see my apartment is barely ten minutes away and Soeun has her exams so its easier for her to watch over Mina here at the apartment.

“Soeun?” I asked curiously.

“Park Soeun? She’s a University student who lives with me. She’s doing a correspondence course in fashion . So she’s home all the time and she helps out with Mina. And she speaks Italian so that’s a huge plus... ” He smiled. “ you’ll like her. She’s a good kid.” 

 Don’t make that face. Don’t fucking make that face, Heejin.

I struggled to keep my face straight , like I wasn’t feeling the weight of a dozen bricks at the base of my stomach. 

“A roommate...then..?” I asked quietly and he shrugged.

“Something like that. But mostly she helps take care of Mina when I’m out on an assignment.” He smiled and led me past two flight of stairs up to the studio apartment. 

I wrapped my arms around myself as he stopped in front of a wrought iron grill, gripping one end and sliding it open with ease. And then he rang the small bell n the side. I shuffled back and forth on my foot, heart racing. 

The door opened and I blinked because of how young the girl who opened the door was. A second later she was beaming, moving forward and wrapping both her arms around me.

“Unnie!” She squealed, hugging me so close that I almost choked. Completely thrown I could only gape at Jungkook who was laughing . 

“Oh, I forgot to mention..she’s a bit of a fan. “ He teased lightly and I smiled awkwardly, watching as she pulled back to stare at me, her gaze trained on my face unblinkingly. 

“Whoa...” She reached out and lightly touched my cheek with her forefinger making me jump. She flinched as well, flushing red.

“Shit..sorry...I just... I’ve never... I’ve never met an omega before.” She said softly. “ You’re absolutely breathtaking.”

I felt my heart pound, steeping back instinctively, an overwhelming urge to hide , anxiety pooling in my stomach as she continued to stare at me. I hated the attention and I wrapped my arms around myself. 

“Soeun, enough. Don’t make it weird.” Jungkook said sternly, voice hard and the girl immediately flushed, bowing apologetically. 

“Sorry...I.. sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable ... You’re pretty.” She said again before turning to Jungkook.

“I have to get some stuff for my exhibit, Jungkook oppa... Mina’s asleep. i’ll be staying over at Vince’s place for the night though. Is that okay?”

“Sure..have fun.” Jungkook smiled, “ Vince is her boyfriend.” He explained and Soeun nodded happily. 

“Italian men are absolutely amazing unnie...you should try some.” She winked and I laughed despite myself.

“I just might...” I said with a grin, watching as she walked over to slip on a pair of sneakers from the small shoe closet near the door. She waved enthusiastically all but bouncing away and I blinked at him , shaking my head.

“I feel a hundred years old right now.” I said softly, still stunned by the girl’s exorbitant energy. Jungkook laughed at that

“She definitely has that effect on people... Come on, I’ll show you around.” He held his hand out and I smiled , taking his fingers mine and letting him tug me further into the studio apartment. 

I looked around, taking in the full blown prints of Mina and Jungkook , caught in adorable poses in front of different tourist spots in Florence. I saw how much she looked like Jungkook now, and how openly affectionate they looked together, the love evident even in the still photos. 

And then my eyes fell on a familiar painting , my stomach lurching. 

“You... “ i turned to him in a rush and he was staring at me with a small smile.

“I had to bring that. It pretty much saved me, that painting.” He said casually, stepping close and running his fingers all over the print. 

“When you told me this is how Sooah saw me...” He traced the picture carefully before glancing at me,” it made me realize that Sooah didn’t just want a baby.....she wanted a baby with  me. She saw me as a father. As someone who could raise and nurture a tiny human  and that... that’s amazing isn’t it?” He sighed, staring at me.  

He looked beautiful, I thought with an ache deep inside me. The most beautiful man I’d ever seen in my life and it seemed almost too good to be true. That he was here, at reach. So close. I wondered if this was it. This had to be a sign. A sign that we’d come full circle. That it was over. That we could finally break free from all that we’d been through, and look back at Jungkook’s past with fondness instead of pain.

And perhaps, just perhaps I could reach out and touch him with something more than just the love you have for a friend. . Perhaps I could reach out and touch him, without feeling guilt and foreboding.

I exhaled shakily stepping up and running my fingers over the canvas. It was nothing fancy... Just a painting a painting of Jungkook holding Mina up by her waist, high over his head, staring up into her face with all the love and adoration in the world, The child in the painting doesn’t look exactly like Mina, of course, but I’d had no idea , seeing as Sooah had commissioned the painting when she was pregnant. But Jungkook.... Jungkook looked exactly like he did now : Happy and at peace. 

“You’re alright, then?” I asked quietly , a wealth of meaning behind the words and he smiled , nodding gently. 

“I’m fine…” He whispered , “ And I’m so glad I can tell you that, like this. Thank you for coming , Heejin-ah . I know you owe me nothing but.. I wanted to show you that… it wasn’t all bad you know. What we went through… Something good did come out of it.” He whispered.

I choked out a sob.

“I lied.” I whispered. “ I did miss you. Even when I knew I shouldn’t.”

Jungkook’s gaze softened.

“I have a lot to be sorry for. But I don’t want to remind you of those things. I just want you to know that… I understand what you went through…those six months. I understand that it was difficult and painful and i… I’m grateful that you didn’t give up on me. And I’m grateful that you stayed in my life.  Because I know I didn’t deserve that.”

“You deserve to be loved Jungkook.” I said quietly. “ Its not wrong to move on. You deserve to… find happiness again.”

He stared at me, his gaze soft and gentle.

“I can almost believe it, when you say it that way.” He laughed. “ And… you know… I’m not sure if its love. But there’s someone I’ve been…. Well, I can sort of see myself with her. .” He grinned a little, smile boyish as he ran his fingers through his hair. He glanced at me and I felt my heart skip a beat.

Wait… was he going to?....

“ I met her at Taehyung’s practice, a year ago. Her name is Lee Hyorin.” Jungkook looked at me, doe eyes shining with excitement.

And just like that the world ended.

Or so it felt.

It was like being dipped in icy cold water, the shock of it rendering me speechless, lips parted and breath catching in lungs.

Blood rushed through my ears, so fast that I felt lightheaded, my legs nearly giving out. White noise filled my skull, pain lancing sharp through my heart like a thousand paper cuts, and I couldn’t really breathe. It took a few seconds…. For my heart to catch up with what my mind had just processed. And when it finally did, the pain was so excruciating, I had to clench my fists, nails digging into the flesh of my palm to ground myself.

“She’s an alpha…and she lost her husband around the same time Sooah passed..” Jungkook gave me a soft smile. “ She’s actually a curator at one of the museums here. She’s the one who made all the arrangements for me to move here to Florence. ”

“Wow… That’s…” devastating,. “ That’s good news. Jungkook.. I.. How long…” My voice cracked, and I had to swallow. “ How long have you guys been dating?”

“About three months now. We’re taking it very slow, because we aren’t really ready. She has a son too. He’s three years old. Mina loves him so that’s a plus.” He laughed.

My lungs constricted, breathing difficult and my head swam because ….. what. Realization set in so quickly, I was left reeling. I was in love with this bastard, I thought miserably. So in love with him that it felt like he was shredding my heart into ribbons. Every word of his mouth felt like a sharp deep stab, straight through the center of my heart and the pulsing, beating organ was on the verge of giving out.

“She’s going to be there at the dinner tonight at the Festival. She’s one of the organizers by the way. She’s kind of the reason I got in, I think.” He laughed , looking abashed and what a load of bull that was. Jungkook was successful and well known. Superbly talented at his chosen field. She was lucky to have him.

How can she have him when I’m the one who fixed him? How is that fucking fair?

“She really understands the things I’ve been going through, the past few months and because we both still attend therapy with Taehyung, we’re able to talk about a lot of stuff. Stuff I can’t share with others…” Jungkook was saying and I tuned him out, not wanting to hear another word.

I swallowed, choking on bile. I could feel sweat gathering on my scalp, my skin clammy and damp , the air between us shifting into something poisonous and filled with so much dismay, it was a miracle he hadn’t picked up on it.

Couldn’t he sense how distressed I was? Couldn’t he see how his words were hurting? Couldn’t he fucking see that I couldn’t live without him? Why on earth couldn’t he see me the way he apparently saw every other woman on the damn planet…..

Because he’s a shitty Alpha, I thought miserably, willing myself not to burst into tears. He was a shitty excuse for an alpha back then and he’s the same now.

A low, distressed cry began somewhere behind him and he jumped.

“Oh, shit she’s up… come on, Heejin.” He said with a bright smile, turning around and rushing down a small hallway and I willed myself to breathe in deeply, reminding myself that this wasn’t the end of the world. I could get through this. Besides, it was Mina.

Beautiful, perfect Mina who had been there for me. She would see me and she would give me that sweet gummy smile of hers, does eyes twinkling and I would get through this. Because her smile was what was important. Her smile and her joy and her happiness.

The sobbing had slowed down to small hiccups and I stepped past the threshold cautiously, watching as Jungkook bent over the large crib, carefully lifting her out and into his arms. She looked breathtaking, an absolutely gorgeous little girl . I stared, mesmerized as I stepped closer. My arms ached, and my chest tightened. Lips wobbling, I exhaled sharply, moving to reach for her.

She turned to glance at me and just as my fingers brushed her cheek, she recoiled.

Hard.

A loud wail tore through her tiny body and I felt my eyes go wide. Her casual little cry had turned into a sobbing , loud wail and I could smell the distress in her , the fear and distrust as she curled away from me.  Jungkook looked stunned as well, instinctively drawing her close and embracing her, moving away from me because….

Because I was the reason, she was distressed.  

My skin went ice cold at the revelation and I stumbled back, stunned.

“I… I’m sorry.” I choked out, confused and disoriented. Jungkook looked stricken, gently rocking her back and forth and she clung to him, gripping his shirt and I bit my lips, moving further back and I glanced at him, my heart shattering.

“She’s …She’s still sleepy… She doesn’t do well with strangers…” He said softly, looking upset, “ Maybe you could…wait outside…”

Stranger…. Was that what I was?

“I… I’ll go. I’ll just go.” I turned on my heel, rushing out of the door and struggling to breathe in air, my heart clenching so hard I was sure I was going to pass out. I felt my knees give out when I reached the couch, dropping down and drawing my knees up , wrapping my arms around my legs . I didn’t know how long I sat there, fighting sobs and choking on air…and when I finally came to myself, the sobs from the room had died out.

“She’s fallen asleep again.” Jungkook’s voice cut through the silence and I couldn’t bring myself to look up. I felt him move closer, felt his scent hit me as he stepped right up to me, kneeling on the floor in front of me.

I looked up at him, lips wobbling as I took in his handsome face.  A face that was so deeply carved into my heart and my soul, I couldn’t imagine living without it. Without him. The tears came then, helpless and endless and so painful.

He pressed in closer, cupping my face in his palms, thumb brushing the tears that spilled over so relentlessly.

“Heejin…” He whispered and I let my fingers curl around his wrist as his thumb kept brushing the curve of my cheeks. I took a deep , shaky breath .

“She doesn’t remember me….  “ I whispered, “ She doesn’t recognize me at all…She hates me……” I choked out , despair filling every last crevice of my insides, gut twisting as I remembered how Mina had twisted away from me, how her scent had soured in distress at the sight of me, at the touch of my fingers.

 And I wondered if it was different with this other woman..Hyorin, wasn’t it? Did Mina climb into her arms with ease? Did she curl into her chest and sleep? The way she used to with me,  when she was a month old and missing the warmth of a mother.. ….

All those nights spent in that tiny nursery, lying on the cold unforgiving floor, watching the rise and fall of Mina’s chest through the dark room…telling myself it was worth it… it was worth being touched against my will, worth being treated like filth by a man driven mad with grief and anger….all because of this baby…this tiny little baby who had needed me….

And now…she didn’t even know who I was…..worse…she was repulsed by the very sight of me… I couldn’t cope.

“Look at me…” Jungkook rasped, voice raw and cracking. “she doesn’t hate you, Heejin… she just … you feel new to her… different…” 

I shook my head, unable to think about anything beyond the sheer devastation that filled me, the way his daughter had pulled away and run, had refused to come anywhere near me. I realized with lancing pain that I’d wanted to see her, way more than I’d wanted to see Jungkook .

Because she was the reason I’d hung on for so long in that marriage which had been the biggest fucking mistake of my life…. the only reason I’d stuck around . Mina …Having her in my arms, her scent against my face, that had been the only genuine happiness I’d experienced  in a marriage filled with sheer , unending misery. 

“I… she… Why doesn’t she remember? “ I breathed, sagging into his arms, tears soaking his shoulders and his palm ran up and down my back.

“Because she was a baby. Heejin…. I left when she was a baby…”

“Why did you?” I snapped. “ Did it hurt you so much? The thought of living under the same sky as me ? Why you did you go?” I demanded.

Jungkook pulled back, hands coming up to grip my shoulder, holding me at arms length.

“Look at me.” He whispered. “ I had to … You know I had to go….I was hurting you. I was… I was draining you of life. Destroying you… “

Jungkook’s words reminded me of who he was. Of who I was… Of who I was to him.

I choked out, sobbing.

“I hate you. You treated me like scum. Like a crutch….. Like some sort of tool to get better and you just left… you…”

You found someone better. You broke me down and now you’ve gone and found someone better….because I was never good enough for you… I was never someone you could love….

“I had to let you go. I had to end that relationship because it was tainted with so much grief and anger and selfishness and greed. I knew that anything I did afterwards would be tainted by my actions… I… I had to make amends, Heejin. And do you think for a second, that it wasn’t the hardest thing I ever did? That walking out on you wasn’t one of the most devastating things I’ve ever experienced? But I did it for us… for this…” 

I stared at him.

“And what is this?” I asked brokenly.

“This is me, being able to touch you like this.” Jungkook pressed a palm to my cheek, “ And not feeling guilt or sadness or grief or loss.  I did it so we could have this…this… This thing where I can look at you and hold you and see that you’re healing. That you’re doing better… That you’re living the life you want…. That you’re happy. This is me standing here , in front of you and smiling because I’m happy too. Happy that you’re here.  ” He exhaled, “ I’m happy that despite all the hurt we’ve been through for and because of each other, I can look at you now and tell you, honestly, that I’m glad to see you.” 

What a joke.. What a fucking joke.

I smiled shakily.

“Well… “ I said softly, my stomach churning because I was done. Done with him and mostly with myself. “ Isn’t that absolutely wonderful.”

His gaze softened and he smiled.

“I want us to be friends, Heejinah. Even though we don’t see or talk to each other, I think of you often. And when Mina’s old enough to understand , I’ll tell her all about you… I want you in our lives. You’re a friend. ”

I stared at him , feeling the words echo in my skull . It left an acrid taste on my senses, the way he put me into this neat little box, friend. So ….insignificant. Everyone had hundreds of friends. There was nothing even remotely special about being someone’s friend.

Friend just meant replaceable and forgettable. And just like Mina didn’t remember me…. Someday Jungkook wouldn’t either. The knowledge filled my veins spreading all over my body and leaving a fierce, heavy ache in my chest.

It was my fault, I thought despondently. My fault because I had been an idiot.

Jungkook was the sane one here , I thought miserably. These nine months, while I’d been dwelling on him and worrying for him…he had done the healthy thing , by moving on with someone he could actually envision a future with….

What had I done, these past nine months? Dreamt up a fantasy world where somehow we found our way back to each other and built a life together… It seemed so foolish now, in the light of Jungkook’s words and his confession….

Jungkook had done all of this, not for me…but for himself. For his daughter whom he loved and for his wife , whose memory he wanted to honor. And perhaps it was my own delusion that made me think that I’d played some stellar role in his healing…. Maybe if I hadn’t been there, he would have gotten better just the same…. Maybe I hadn’t been a tool …as much as a hindrance …to his healing.

I shook my head, bitterness coating my tongue.

“I should get going.” I whispered , voice shaking.

This is it, I told myself. This is the last time you look at him with that heaviness in your heart. You deserve better. You deserve… a lot of things. And just because people don’t give it to you doesn’t mean you have to settle for less……

“So soon? Hyorin will be back in a couple of hours… I could show you some of my work, and we could get lunch ….”

I shook my head quickly. I didn’t want to meet her in his home. Didn’t want to see him being domestic and affectionate and …normal with her when all I’d ever seen was Jungkook in his anger and grief, either yelling abuses or gripping me with a lust that was tainted with violence and rage. I stared at his hands, the ones I’d liked holding….

How did I forget? That those were the same hands that had held me down and done things that should, rightfully have landed him in prison?

I shook my head, to clear the images out of my head. Looking at him now,  Jungkook looked eager, happy and healed. And I realized that he’d just pushed all of his own actions out of his mind. Forgotten all about it. And that was fair. He probably didn’t even remember any of it. He had been drunk out of his mind, lost in his head and surely, forgetting must’ve been easy… A relief.

I didn’t begrudge him that.

But…

I hadn’t been drunk. I’d been stone cold sober under him on that bed and so, maybe forgetting didn’t come that easily for me. And I was glad that Jungkook could move on and be happy but….

But I couldn’t stay here and pretend that it was the same for me. I wasn’t happy or healed, I thought miserably. And maybe , maybe the sight of him moving on was a sign that I had to stop thinking that healing meant going back to him and his daughter.

“Heejin… What’s wrong? Is it because of Mina.. she’s just not used to…” He began but I quickly pressed a palm to his chest, smiling.

“Strangers.” I said softly. “ I know. That’s not it… You know I have to introduce my exhibit at dinner tonight. I don’t know what the itinerary is or what I’m supposed to say…. None of it.. I need to meet my agent and prep myself a bit. Its alright…I’ll see you tonight.” I said softly.

“I’m sorry… I can’t walk you back because Mina-“

“Of course. Don’t worry about it…. I’ll just…”

The doorbell rang, startling me.

“Jungkook!” A strong voice called out and I went still.

“Hyorin?” Jungkook’s face lit up and I felt my stomach churn. God, the universe really was against me wasn’t it? Sighing in defeat, I wrapped my arms around myself, sitting back down on the couch and waiting.

Behind me , I could hear hushed whispers, soft laughter and shuffling feet. My mouth went dry.

“Ms. Kim….”

I turned around, greeted by the sight of a tall, strapping young woman, pretty by any standards. She was dressed in a pant suit , her hair long and straight, hitting the top of her shoulders. She looked smart… Important.

“Ms. Lee… Its nice to meet you.”

She held her hand out and I shook it gently.  Jungkook smiled at her fondly and his phone rang from somewhere inside the studio.

“Hang on that’s probably Soeun…” He smiled at me and moved away and I watched him leave before shifting my gaze to Hyorin, who was staring down at me with a small smile.

“Are you here in Italy by yourself? Or with one of your many …uh… patrons ?” She smirked.

I blinked.

“Patrons?” I asked softly. “ Excuse me?”

“Jungkook and I’ve been following all the stories about you, back in Korea. You get around quite a lot… don’t you? Every alpha within a 100 mile radius wants a piece of the lovely Kim Heejin… And honestly, could anyone blame them? You look exquisite.”

I stared at her, stunned. The implication was so obvious that I would be an idiot not to realize what she was hinting at. So this was the woman , Jungkook chose? Yet another prejudiced bigot?

I laughed a bit, feeling my heart sink.

“I’m not seeing anyone. If that’s what you’re asking.” I said quietly.

Hyorin smirked at that.

“Of course you aren’t… We all know that isn’t really something your kind does… monogamy, right?”

“Do you have a problem with me Hyorin ssi?” I asked roughly and she laughed.

“Oh come on.. we’re all adults, here. And Heejin, you  agreed to be a part of this festival, knowing full well, that’s what we think . Its because deep down you know I’m right….. Omegas can’t stay with one alpha. They need sex to survive and they are usually open to it with anyone. Not that I’m blaming you or judging you for it. It’s just how you’re built.”

I smiled wide, ignoring the urge to claw at her face. .

“Well, you’ve definitely got me all figured out haven’t you? “ I shook my head, glancing at Jungkook who was making his way over.

“What are you talking about?” He asked curiously and I smiled, glancing at her.

“ Hyorin ssi was just telling me how my sub gender makes it impossible for me to not go around whoring with every alpha I see…….” I glanced at him and Jungkook straightened, looking stunned, “ Well, I hope you two enjoy your beautiful monogamous relationship with each other something an omega like me can only fantasize about…. Right Jungkook?” I smiled and he looked completely lost.

“Wait…What? Hyorin what did you say?” He demanded and she was glaring at me now.

“Please don’t take it personally, I was only talking about omegas in general. “ Hyorin frowned, before bowing and moving away to stalk off in the direction of the bedrooms and I watched her, feeling dirty and terrible.

“Heejin, ignore her.. she’s just old fashioned and-“

“Is that what you’re going to call it?” I snapped and Jungkook froze.

“Heejin…”

I shook my head in disbelief.

“I’m not upset about what she said. I’m upset that she feels comfortable enough, spouting that bullshit to me , in your house. Makes me wonder what else she’s told you about omegas, and how much of it you probably agreed with.”

Jungkook stared at me , lips parted.

“I… I don’t feel that way. You know that.” He said stiltedly.

“Do I? All I know is that she knows about me, about who I am and apparently, she can call me a slut…. In front of you, without worrying about it upsetting you. And that tells me you’re as much of a bigot as she is.”

“Heejin… You know that’s not it. We all grow up being fed certain things and –“

“But you did grow up right?” I snapped. “ you grew up and you can think and act for yourself. As can she. Once you’re an adult, you don’t have a single fucking excuse for being racist or homophobic or bigoted because being an adult means having the ability to unlearn the toxic things you’ve been taught and relearn how to be a decent fucking human.”

I shook my head as he stared at me.

“And you know what…please just… just don’t call me or consider me as a friend.” I laughed. “ Because I don’t think I can consider you one. Not anymore. You can’t…...You can’t just love certain parts of me and be disgusted by others you know? I don’t need a friend who can care about me and love me and help me as long as he can forget that I’m an omega….. I need a friend who can love every jagged, broken , part of me. Who can call out people who talk bullshit at me , who can look someone in the eye and tell them they’re wrong when they’re calling me names  and that’s not who you are……. You’re not it.” I snapped.

Jungkook looked stricken, reaching out to hold me and I stepped away, annoyed.

“I’m sorry, Heejin, you’re right … I’ll talk to her… I’ll…” He began but I shook my head.

“Whatever.  Just don’t call me a friend. We can’t be friends. Let’s just be what we always were , yeah? A big fucking mistake that never should have happened.”

I stormed out of the door, shaking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What do you mean, there are no flights available for today?” I snapped. “Tell them money isn’t an issue. I need to get out of this place right now.”

Minho looked incredibly stricken, hair messy from how often he’d run his fingers through.

“ We just arrived seven hours ago, Hee. Of course there’s no flight yet…. We can stay another day…attend the dinner and-“

“No.” I snapped. “ Absolutely not. I’m not here because they find my art good  or worth putting up. I’m here because they know the alphas around here will want to pay more , to pour in more cash for a chance with me.” I held the embossed booklet up, waving it in his face.

“Heejin…” He protested but I shook my head.

“ Did you see the cost to get into my pane ?. Extra ….for alphas? And yet…apparently they had to pre book it and its filled? You think any of the lecherous bastards who paid money to see me , gives a shit about my art?  And apparently, there’s a meet and greet, for alphas only if they purchase seven or more paintings worth over 10000 Euros. Do you think, that’s what I’m worth?”

Minho looked down at his shoes, ashamed.

“I .. I’m sorry, Hee. You’re right. Its offensive . And an insult to your art and talent. We shouldn’t have come here, you’re right. And I regret it… But just… give me a few hours, yeah? I’ll find a way to get us out of here….”

I exhaled sharply, exhaustion weighing heavy on my head. I felt like I’d taken a pounding, physically and mentally and I wondered how a day that had started so well, could go so wrong, so fast…

Shaking my head, I trudged wearily to the elevator, knocking on the buttons before sagging against the wall, letting my eyes flutter shut.

Jungkook was dating.

Jungkook was dating. His girlfriend thought I was a slut and here I was about to prove her right.

I wanted to slit someone’s throat.

Sighing, I watched the door slide open, grabbing my keys out of my bag,  and moving to the suite. I opened the door before making a beeline for the bed. I collapsed on the soft duvet, groaning. I was torn between wanting to call Taehyung to yell at him about Jungkook and calling Minho to demand an update on the flights.

I was spared the dilemma when the phone in the room rang. Groaning, I moved to swat at the phone, turning on the speaker.

“Ms. Kim? There’s a Mr. Jeon here to see you?”

I blinked, feeling disbelief swell inside me. Did he not get the hint?

Annoyed, I sat up.

“Send him up.” I said, in no mood to go all the way down to see him.

“Up?” She sounded surprised, “ To your room?”

“Yes. To my room. Is that a fucking problem?” I growled, annoyed.

“Not at all Ms. Kim. He’ll be right up.”

I got out of bed, shrugging off my jacket and taking off my dress as well. It was a little damp because I’d sweated through the fabric. I grabbed one of my oversized t shirts , slipping it on and moving to open the door before retreating back to the inner room. Feeling annoyed, I walked up to the vanity and grabbed the hair brush, running the bristles through my locks. I heard his footsteps outside and stiffened.

“If you’re here to defend your shitty girlfriend, you can just leave Jungkook. I swear to God, I’ve had enough of this.” I shouted. He didn’t reply and my hackles rose.

“Listen, I’m sorry if I said something harsh-“ I froze when I reached the doorway, staring at the man in front of me. He had a large , almost humongous bouquet of wild orchids and roses in his hand and I stared at his face.  

This was definitely not Jungkook.

“Umm… hi.” The man bowed awkwardly, his gaze going straight to my legs, where my t shirt ended, just a couple of inches past my waist. I felt the blood rush to my face.

“Who are you…Get out !!!” I shouted, horrified, diving for my jacket and holding it up against my bare thighs. The man held both his hands up, eyes wide..

“I’m sorry… I… you said I could come up to your room….” He protested and I scowled, confused.

“What? “ I stared, stunned… “ Who…what?”

“I’m Wonwoo. Jeon Wonwoo. I’m uh….one of the sponsors for this festival. And a fan. Huge fan.” He was staring at me beseechingly and I felt my head begin to throb.

The sheer relentlessness of this day…..

“I… Mr. Jeon…” So weird, God, “ There’s been a misunderstanding. I’m not…. I thought you were someone else.”

“Jungkook yes…your ex husband, right? You were married to him for six months after he lost his wife….. He’s also one of the artists exhibiting their work here.” He nodded quickly, running long fingers through thick glossy hair, lips parting in a hesitant smile and I stared at him.

“How do you know all that? ” I demanded, heart pounding. He immediately held his hands up again.

“I’m sorry… I sound like a stalker, shit. But Trust me I’m not. I just am a huge fan.. I looked up some stuff about you….before.” He shuffled a bit awkwardly, finally looking up at me.

I tried to catch his scent. No scent to speak of. A beta then. Relaxing just a bit, I swallowed. At least I wasn’t in any immediate danger. But still, I had no intention of letting him see me in nothing but a t shirt. Embarrassed, I gripped the jacket tighter.

“Why are you here?” I demanded angrily, taking in his appearance. He didn’t look like a hoodlum or someone dangerous. He was good looking, dressed in a white t shirt and black Jacket over plain black slacks. His shoes looked expensive and I didn’t miss the shiny Rolex on his wrist either,.

“Well, for one thing I own the Hotel.” He chuckled and that made my stomach turn. “And also like I said, I’m one of the main sponsors for the Festival itself.”

“Right.” I was too disoriented to process this, head throbbing. “Of course. Is there a reason why you wanted to see me?”

“I was downstairs…just now… I couldn’t help but overhear you with your agent. You wanted to leave as soon as possible. To pull out of the event and I’m just here to try and change your mind, Ms. Kim.” He smiled earnestly and I realized he was really quite young.

I sighed.

“Could you… Could you wait outside? I want to put some clothes on before we talk any further.” I said tiredly and he bowed quickly.

“Uh… These…I’ll just leave these here.” He placed the large bunch of flowers on the table before quickly leaving the room and I swore, racing to the suitcase in the corner. I quickly grabbed a pair of jeans, slipping them on hastily and zipping myself up before glancing at the mirror again. This would have to do.

I moved to the door and opened it, finding him right there, looking lost.

“I… come in, please.” I said hesitantly and he bowed again, moving in and waiting for me to close the door and take a seat on the couch, before sinking into an arm chair across from me.

“Did you see the itinerary? It doesn’t get more sexualized than this.” I waved the booklet and he flushed.

“I understand you’re upset about … certain things. I’m sorry that you feel objectified , in the festival. It wasn’t the intention I had when I first told Hyorin and the others that I wanted them to invite you. But , I’ve been busy the past month, and I didn’t go over the complete agenda. If I did, I definitely would have made sure that you were treated with just as much respect as the others. Unfortunately, there’s not much I can do now, but I’ve had a word with all of the panelists and also the hosts. We won’t entertain any question or comments of a sexual nature and if anyone tries to insinuate anything , I’ll have them removed from the panel myself. “ He said firmly.

“I’m only here because you told me you would exhibit my mother’s works too.” I said sharply and he bowed.

“ Your mother’s works are just as exquisite and I’ve arranged for them to be displayed right at the center of the arena, with a running slide show of her childhood , her art technique and the great love she had for her daughter.” He said firmly.

I could only stare. He sounded incredibly sincere and there was no mistaking the earnestness in his tone.

“I’m….” I bit my lips, “  Listen, Mr. Jeon, I’m flattered but honestly, I never wanted to be here. I… there was … something else that made me want to come and well, that turned out to be a huge mistake. To be honest, I’m not sure if I have it in me to suffer through days of people treating me like I’m some kind of sex crazed bimbo.” I shook my head.

“how about this.? You let me be your date for tonight and you let me display your work, today at the dinner itself. I’ll be right by your side. And then, I’ll have my private jet on standby and we can fly back to Korea. You deserve the spotlight, Heejin and I want people to see how good you are at what you do. I don’t care if I lose money over this… As long as you’re comfortable. ”

I gawked at him, stunned.

“Private Jet?” I choked out. “ Okay, now I’m genuinely concerned.”

He laughed.

“I’m a Hotelier, and I have properties all over the world and I like to inspect them personally most of the time. Its more practical to have a private jet than to try and align my schedules with everyone else.” He smiled.

“Right. Convenient.” I shook my head. “ I’m no stranger to excessive wealth, Mr. Jeon and trust me, it’s always left a  sour taste in my mouth.”

“I don’t flaunt my wealth, Ms. Kim. These clothes? Got them on the streets of Florence. I drive a Mazda. Wealth has no meaning to me. People do. People like you, who bring beauty into the world with their craft. You’ve made my world beautiful and I just want to repay , in some way.” He smiled,  “ Also,  You’re very  beautiful.” He added and then immediately looked away. “ I’m sorry. That was… dumb . I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable.”

Endeared against my own wishes, I found myself fighting a small smile.

“Just tonight’s dinner?” I asked quietly.

“Just the dinner party.” He assured me quickly.

“Alright. But I’m not getting into any private Jet. My agent will book me tickets and I’ll find my way back to Korea.”

“As you wish. I’ll pick you up at seven. What color is your dress?” He asked casually and I blinked.

“Uh… Wine red? I guess? Why?”

He grinned, looking boyishly handsome.

“I’ll see you at seven, Ms. Kim.”

He bowed, before pausing by the bouquet. He grabbed a couple of  flowers, holding them up for me to see.  

“Daffodils and Lilacs.” He grinned, “ To finding something new to love. And to new beginnings.”

Wow.

Subtle.

I shook my head, momentarily forgetting all about Jungkook as I grinned all the way back to the bedroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I told you… coming with me will earn you major points.” Wonwoo smirked as he pulled me in by my waist , holding my dress up for me as I stared at the sleek black limousine at the Hotel entrance. I watched as he held my wrist gently, latching a string of sterling silver and red rubies around the delicate curve of it.

“This is too lavish…I don’t want this…Who are you?” I demanded, flushing because of the way the flashes went off in every direction, reporters scrambling when they caught sight of him. He was clearly popular, if the number of photos being clicked were any indication. I regretted everything.

Wonwoo pressed a kiss to my wrists, right near the bracelet and gently placed my palm on the curve of his elbow, leading me over to the car and I watched the chauffeur open the door for us.  

“ Someone who can get anyone here fired. Be careful , sweetheart.” I watched in mute horror as he bent low, picking up the hem of my skirt so I wouldn’t trip, while climbing into the limousine. The reporters began whispering excitedly and more flashes went off . My face completely red, I hastened to climb in.

“These people look at you like you’re some kind of King.” I stared out of the tinted windows seeing the sheer multitude of people and Wonwoo chuckled.

“ That’s because I am. At least for tonight. And that’s why I’m the perfect guy to protect you Heejin. They’re all terrified of me.” He winked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook found me, fifteen minutes into the event. I hung by the large archway, near an alcove, sipping champagne and nibbling on some hors d’oeuvre as people threw glances at me. I noticed the conspicuous lack of a date on his arm and straightened, sighing and bracing myself for more unpleasantness as he picked his way through the crowd, eyes trained on me.

“Can we talk?” He said, the minute he was at hearing distance and I exhaled.

“No.” I said casually and he made a noise of impatience.

“Fucking, hell Heejin..just…” He swore again, looking upset. “ Why are you doing this to me? What do you want from me huh?”

I stared at him in disbelief.

“What do I want from you? Oh, fuck off Jungkook. I want nothing from you.” I snapped, turning on my heel, ready to leave but his hand shot out, gripping me right above my elbow, fingers curling in hard.

“Fuck.. listen. I don’t know what she said to you. I .. I’m sorry if she offended you…. Alright? She’s an alpha… I can’t change the way she thinks…”

“I didn’t ask you to. I merely said that if you associate yourself with people who think I’m scum, I won’t let you into my life. Because I respect myself too much for that.” I said firmly.

“She doesn’t think you’re scum, Heejin come on. She just has some misconceptions about certain things.”

“God, Jungkook…just stop. Alright? Stop. Because I’m not asking you do anything. I’m leaving on a flight tomorrow morning and you’ll never see me again. That’s all there is to it.”

He froze at that, fingers curling harder around my arm and it hurt, the skin turning red. Stupid fucker, never knew his own strength.

“Ow, Jungkook let go.” I whispered, and he did, albeit reluctantly.

I rubbed at the bruised skin, furious. I watched as the redness healed over, the pain fading to a throb and then into a pleasant heat and I hated it. Hated that being an omega meant that Jungkook’s rough touch turned to pleasure on my skin.

“What do you mean you’re leaving tomorrow? The Festival is for two weeks.”

I sighed.

“I didn’t come here for the festival. I came here to see you. To see if you were as hung up on me as I was on you…but apparently not.” I snapped.

Jungkook went perfectly still at that.

“What the fuck does that mean?” He said softly and I laughed, shaking my head.

“Wow. You really never even considered it huh? Us? Together.?” It wasn’t funny at all, but I could only laugh. Probably because I’d been so sure.. So certain that there was something there.

He opened his mouth to answer but I felt a warm solidness behind me, an arm wrapping around my waist and a second later, Wonwoo was there pressing up against me.

“Jungkook-ssi… Such a pleasure to meet you.” He held his hand out, and Jungkook frowned, his eyes trained on where wonwoo’s fingers curled around my waist.

“Get your hands off her.” He said shortly and Wonwoo blinked, pulling away from me and stepping back .

“What the-? No. Fuck you.” I snapped, glaring at Jungkook before grabbing Wonwoo’s hand and bringing it back around me. “Don’t you fucking dare take your hands off.” I held my finger up at his face and Wonwoo looked momentarily stunned.

“Really, Heejin? You’re doing this?” Jungkook glared at me. “ We need to talk.”

“So talk.” I snapped. “ Tell me why you think a bigoted bitch is the best you can do in terms of dating. Tell me why she’s the only one who can ‘ understand’ “ I made air quotes, shaking my head, “ You think you and your shitty have monopoly on grief Jungkook? I’ve lost people too. Just because I haven’t screwed other people over because of it, doesn’t make my grief invalid….yeah.”

Ringing silence followed and I regretted everything.

“Fuck.” I whispered, shaking my head. “ I .. Shit. I need to get out of here.”

I pulled away from Wonwoo, moving out of the huge ballroom and Jungkook was right behind me, of course he was.

“Heejin…fuck. Wait. You’re right. I didn’t mean to imply that you didn’t understand me. Of course you did. Its why you stuck around… I know that. And you’re right, she had no business talking about you like that. I’ll have a word with her… But…”

I sped up, wanting to get away but he grabbed me again, tugging me closer out of the hall way and into a darkened alcove and I flinched when he pushed me up against the wall, caging me in, as he pressed in closer.

“What did you mean by that?” He demanded, hands coming up to grip my waist, curling gently and my chest heaved at the touch of him, the enclosed space making his scent turn potent, strong and impossible to avoid. My nostril flared as I breathed him in, familiar and yet so foreign, comforting and yet so fucking dangerous.

“By what?” I snapped and his hands moved up, shaping the curves of my body , thumb grazing the tip of my breast and making me jump, before moving up, gripping my face, gently. He pressed his thumb into my lower lip, rubbing back and forth, face impossibly close and I swallowed, throat sandpaper dry.

“About us? Together….” He breathed and I exhaled shakily.

“You know what I meant.” I whispered. “ If you don’t then I can’t explain it.” I whispered and he swore, head dropping against mine, forehead resting against mine, and lips less than a hairsbreadth away.

We’ve never kissed, I thought suddenly. I licked my lips, turning my face away but his fingers gripped my chin at once, yanking me around to stare at him again.

“Look at me, baby. Tell me… You thought about us together?” He whispered .

I breathed shakily.

“Of course I did…. “ I snapped.

“Then clearly therapy isn’t working for you.” He snapped right back and I flinched.

“What-“

Jungkook pulled away staring at me.

“ Do you even remember all the shit I did to you?” He asked quietly. My stomach dropped.

“Jungkook.”

“I broke your ribs.” He said calmly. I swallowed.

“That.. That was an accident. You didn’t mean to.” I protested. “ And we’re past all that… I don’t… I don’t blame you for it.” I said, which was honest enough.

“And what about the nights I got drunk, Heejin….” He said softly and my skin went cold.

“That… That was just… It was just an outlet for your grief… “ I looked away and he scoffed.

“You’re calling it an outlet for grief. I believe the world calls it rape.”

I felt my entire body shiver at the word , moving up to wrap my arms around his neck, trying to pull him close but he was stiff as a board.

“ Don’t” I snapped. “ Don’t …. Its over…it’s in the past.”

“It was still me. I was the one who did it and I can’t… I can’t pretend it didn’t happen.”

I pulled away to glare at him.

“So , what? You won’t give us a chance because of something I’ve already forgiven you for?”

“Yes.” He said shortly. “ Because you may have forgiven me, but I haven’t forgiven myself.”

I felt my body sag in disbelief.

“Jungkook that’s-“

“You deserve better. You always have. I’m not… I don’t deserve someone like you Heejin. You’re kind and breathtaking and I’m just… a broken mess of a man who’s barely getting by.”

“Oh, right… So broken.” I scoffed. “ You’re on the front page of magazines, you have a successful career and a beautiful girlfriend,,,,forgive me if I’m not breaking my heart over your failures.”

Jungkook exhaled shakily before looking up at me.

“  You wanna know the truth about me, Heejin-ah?” He swallowed. “ I just got out of rehab last week.”

I went still.

“What?” I was sure I’d misheard.

“I… I came here and about a month or so in…I started drinking again…” He glanced away and my heart turned over inside me.

“Jungkook, what?” I demanded, horrified.

“I got drunk and got into an argument with a cop. I hit him. They found out I was a single father and-“ He shook his head, “ I got arrested for disorderly conduct , Public intoxication and assault.”

I stared at him in disbelief, unable to keep the disappointment out of my tone.

“ Arrested for assault... Jungkook why?” I breathed and he flushed.

“I know…. It was stupid.. I… I was stupid.” He said softly.  “Soeun isn’t a baby sitter. She’s a social worker. She’s here to keep an eye on me because they want to make sure I’m not a threat to Mina. If I slip up, they’ll deport me back home and then the state will likely take her away from me. Soeun likes me….so she agreed to lie to you ……And as for the girlfriend…” He laughed, shaking his head, “ Hyorin broke up with me after I got arrested. We’re not… We’re not dating. She was only there to get some prints for the panel tomorrow.” He finished shakily.

I stared at him.

“Why?” I demanded . “ Why would you lie to me… Jungkook ….”

“Because I didn’t want you to think I was a screw up.” He said shakily. “ I know I’m supposed to be getting better and I have but… But sometimes I just…I miss…. I miss home. “ He shuddered. “ And you.”  He looked up at me. “ I miss you a lot, Heejin and it hurts and I feel like the only way I can forget about you…about us together is if I drink. And I’m sorry. I know I don’t have the right to miss you, not after everything I put you through but I… it’s how I feel. ” He glanced away, trembling a little.

I wrapped my arms around myself, stepping away, feeling myself go cold.

We stayed quiet for a few seconds, both of us staring at the floor lost in our own thoughts. I felt drained. Miserably so. Like someone had sucked all the strength out of me. I realized how badly I had wanted Jungkook to be okay. To heal and be himself again. And I’d spent the last nine months, fully convinced that he was. That he was doing what he loved, bonding with his daughter building a life for himself.

But apparently, he was also spiraling back into addiction as well.

It was like we were back in that apartment, both of us miserable  but desperate to be something we clearly were not : Okay.

“Does Taehyung know?” I asked finally and Jungkook hesitated before nodding.

“He was at my court hearing three weeks ago. He’s the reason I haven’t already lost her.” Jungkook whispered.

“What did he say?”

“He thinks I should come back to Korea.” Jungkook said quietly. “ He wants me to start therapy again with him. Every week. “

I nodded.

“Fair enough. And what do you think?”

“I think I will. My probation ends in three days. I’ll… I’ll start making arrangements afterwards. I’ll probably be back in a few weeks time. ”

I stared at him, finally seeing the things I hadn’t noticed this morning. The shadows beneath his eyes, the worry lines on his brow. I wondered if he would have ever told me the truth, if not for this little confrontation between us.

Silence descended again and I bit my lips, a million thoughts running through my head. I felt the pull of his scent through it all, an instinctive urge to reach out and touch and draw him close and I wondered if this was it. That for the rest of our lives we would just be drawn to each other, reluctant and hurt but unable to stay away.

“You’re leaving tomorrow then?” He asked quietly breaking through the fog in my head.  

“Well obviously not.” I snapped. “ I’m not leaving you. I’ll tell Minho, we’ll be staying here for a few weeks. Do you actually have a possible job back home? If you don’t I can ask my agent to find one for you….”

Jungkook was staring at me like I’d grown an extra head.

“ What?” I asked roughly.

He swallowed.

“No.. I .. I don’t have a job there.”

“We’ll get you one. And my apartment is big enough so you can stay with me till we find you a place of your own. And I think it’ll actually be good for you, because there’s a Fine Art photographer, pretty well know guy who stays just a few blocks away and e can probably- “

“You haven’t really changed have you?” Jungkook cut me off in the middle of my rambling .

I flushed, looking away.

“What do you mean?”

“Back when we were married… it was just like this.. I’d fuck up and do something awful and you’d just take it all in stride, get ready to help me out of it….”

“I don’t know what you mean…” I said quickly, “ Let’s go back to the party we’ll talk later-“

He grabbed both my arms, pulling me back to face him when I tried to get past him and I yelped, staring up at him in surprise.

“What?” I demanded. “ What is it now?”

“How do you do this thing, Heejin ?” He asked roughly. “ How do you just get ready to clean up every fucking mess I make like it doesn’t hurt you? Like I don’t hurt you?”

“What are you talking about?” I tried to wriggle out of his hold but he tugged me closer.

“How do you just…” He shook his head, “ accept me so unconditionally? Like… Its like no matter what I do, you’re just willing to look past it and I don’t fucking understand Heejin… why do you put up with me, damn it?”

I stared right at him. Caught his gaze and held it, refusing to look away.

“You know why.” I whispered, licking my lips, throat dry,  “ And if you don’t…. I’m not going to tell you.”

His eyes widened , lips parting and he exhaled sharply, before letting me go and stepping away.

He looked away, shaking a little and I sighed.

“Let’s just get this night over with, yeah?” I said quietly. “ and then we’ll talk.”

He didn’t reply, merely standing aside and motioning for me to leave first.

I shook my head, moving to grip his arm instead.

“Together.” I said firmly. “ We’ll get this night over with, together.”

 Author’s Note : i love these two. i’ve never wanted two people to be together so much. 

@taeshuworld  .@girlinthemikrokosmos  @xius-exos  @sugainfireslex  @yunkichiee@kpopstudybee @ephyraaaa  @peachoney9795 @ggukkieland  @veronawrites  @blr1004   @tinyhoagiepartylover @btsis7okay @squishyjk  @itsdingdong @emmmui  @honeeybunneey  @yeonkiminnie @just-me-and-myselfs  @delicate-snow-flake  @kpop-lore  @beautifulvirgobutterfly @sumzysworld  @btsmylife21  @teresaisla .@melrosaeparker @taestannie @dchimminie  @ meraki–life  @somewhereinthestates  @mawwnsterr  @kookiesbreaky  @chimchoom  

@namjooningelsewhere  @itsdingdong  @ungodlyjoon  @caratarmy131  

@ladyartemesia  @hardggukk @iliveforjin  @loveemariee

@unicornbabylover  @dchimminie  @nope2214   @landl7xoxo

@mrcleanheichou  @kayteekat @wassup-haeyadwae   @natgba   @nikkiordonez12    @neverthefirstchoice  @btsssssfiction  

@mylittlestrangeandsweetworld   @kookiesxbananamilk     @lovra974   @supernoonanyc  @kokoandkookie​  

[sephiraa]

♥ PAC Reading for healing your inner child ♥

Hey dears, welcome to my new astro & tarot blog!

Since I’ve been very interested in the topic of healing your inner child and rewiring your brain after experiencing childhood/adolescence trauma, both for myself and for the collective, I’d like to offer this Pick-A-Card reading so you can tune into your innermost self to discover what you need to do in order to heal your childhood wounds. Hope you enjoy ♥

How to pick a card? My advice would be to close your eyes for a minute, take a few deep breaths and then look at the screen and these card offerings, extending your hand or fingers to the direction of the cards and then closing your eyes once again and let your hand choose intuitively which pile is for you.

some people can just choose by the picture they feel more drawn to even without doing this little ritual, so however feels right for you.

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Pile 1                                        Pile 2                                   Pile 3

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✩‧₊* Pile 1 *₊‧✩

Hey Pile 1 ♥ If you were drawn to this pile, I see you were quite a sensitive kid, probably a little overthinker too. Perhaps you grew up under some sort of external stress factors, like a low income family, or a lot of fights in your hometown/neighborhood. For some of you this could also mean you were witnessing verbal fights or worse at home with your family. While every child casn feel distressed by verbal fighting and cussing, I see this could have been a little over the top even for adults. 

Since you grew up under these circumstances, you probably lack some form of trust in relationships with people. While I do not see your as a true people-pleaser, I think you do have a tendency to let some people trespass your personal limits while restricting others from reaching out to you almost completely. I think something you could do to heal your inner child would be to write your childhood and adolescence story in a few paragraphs. Maybe begin by taking a different angle at what has happened - you could take the role of an outsider, an empathetic storyteller. Think of it as a cinematic wide shot. Describe the city/place you grew up in, the personalities of the people around you, your school and childhood friends, etc. Then describe what did you like about your life? and who was a good friend or a good teacher? who wasn’t? and what stressed you out as a child? And finally - what were your dreams all the while? 

After writing this story, go to sleep, and then re-read it to yourself a few days later. For some of you, recording it on your own voice could also help. Or you could even run the text into a free text-to-speech service and download a file. And when you listen to it, be an active and sympathetic listener. Send a lot of love to the protagonist of the story, the younger you. By expressing this empathy, I feel like you can be more at ease with your story and also tune into your inner guidance to better feel and be sure about your personal limits, goals, as well as who would be a beneficial influence in your life and who wouldn’t.

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✩‧₊* Pile 2 *₊‧✩

My dear Pile 2 ♥ If you were drawn to this card, I think there was some sort of an absence feeling early in your life. This could have manifested in divorced parents, or an absentee parents, and maybe even some betrayal from friends which you did not expect to happen. I feel that your heart chakra still aches from these times, as if your emotional loneliness resounds through and through. You probably still carry a sense of loneliness around, even if you have good relationships with people around you. It could be that some of you are very workaholic in order to fight this feeling. For others there could be other coping mechanisms, like drinking or doing drugs or becoming attached to people who have obsessive traits which feels like love even if it isn’t. Let’s see what you could do about it. 

So generally, I feel like you need to re-parent yourself in a more traditional “motherly” way. You have to provide yourself a good sleep environment with crisp sheets and a nice smelling atmosphere (you could use a scented candle for that, or even a cup of hot cocoa) You should also make sure you’re taking some time off work too. It is good to learn that lesson early on, because no work is really worth your health, physically or mentally. 

Some other things you could do is make sure you’re eating healthily. The best way is to cook for yourself but if you cannot do that, definitely make sure your takeout food and/or fridge and pantry food is focused on good nutrients. A good trick would be to make sure you always have your favorite fruit+vegetables at the ready, as well as some good nuts and berries if you have them in your country. You should also make sure to drink warm beverages. Warm beverages literally warm up your whole existence, and they give an emotional hug without resorting to harmful ways like overdrinking.

The last thing you should do is make sure you’re reaching out to people and extending love to them, too. This way, it will come back to you sevenfold, and by reaching out to your friends, you will feel more taken care of eventually. 

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✩‧₊* Pile 3 *₊‧✩

Hello hello Pile 3 ♥ Immediately while tuning into your energy I feel your sensitive aura and rabid imagination luring me in! For this reason, I believe many of you were quite the outcast child, perhaps because of your unique and non-traditional ways of thinking, behaving and creating. Imaginary friends and creative games and play-pretends were probably something that connected you intuitively to the world around you, whether alone or with friends. I see this was the way your soul re-learned the world which it once knew, and this way your way of communication - not by solely living in the here & now but rather by trying to endlessly push it and extend the limits of 3D reality.

While listening into your deep wounds I feel like the ache comes from the solar plexus chakra, which is responsible for your self-esteem. I think it could have been you were joked at for your amazing abilities; maybe sometimes you were treated as a wunderkid but either it didn’t last long or there was still an underlying sense of ridicule, which hurt you badly.

Something you really need to hold deep to your heart is that whether you were actively mocked or just not appreciated for your wholesome gifts, this treatment was not the one you deserved, You should also remind yourself that unconventional people are very often revered after a long period of horrible ridicule. In this sense, I want you to thank your special abilities for simply existing. I do not know if you were the child actor, painter, writer, trickster or maybe even you have completely forgotten what were your talents... But I would highly advise you to take yourself on a weekly inner child date. By that I mean just you and yourself alone, taking 1-2 hours off everything to shop for fun art supplies, dollar store gifts, eating a fancy cake somewhere, going into a faraway park/sightseeing place just to look at people and draft notes about them in your notebook. You could also pick up that instrument your have long forgotten, or take a new private lesson to study foreign language, cooking or music. Make your life magical and our universe will be forever thankful.

[stardustincarnate]

Dating Light Yagami Would Include :

— assuming you begin dating in high school

— one time he casually asks if you want to go on a date with him. with him being collected as usual he looks as if your answer won't even matter. but honestly he's lowkey panicking on the inside. i mean he really likes you, for years even, so if you were to reject him it would leave him crestfallen

— what does she not like about me i'm everything you wish to have for a boyfriend

— how he asks you to be his girlfriend?

— " [y/n], would you mind? "

— " mind what? "

— " being my girlfriend? "

— can't look at you in the eye. i mean, sure, but for like 2 seconds before he finds the walls suddenly interesting

— wait is that light yagami really sweating?

— boy basically almost stutters you find it amusing and almost chortle

— i mean this boy right here have always been collected so to see him lose a wee bit of his composure is straight-up entertainment

— LIGHT INVENTING THAT “BOYFRIEND VIBES” LOOK

— I MEAN HAVE YOU SEEN HIS WARDROBE

— he's not exactly the biggest fan of PDA especially when you're at school

— school is a place to study not to flirt

— though sometimes he will in the most SUBTLE ways that you don't even realize it

— protective boyfriend check ✔️

— someone catcalling you? he'll look at them in the eye and they'd be dead right on the spot

— you don't want to mess with yagami

— when you two walk together you walk side by side. occasionally holding hands but if not then at a really close proximity

— though he likes it too if he were to walk behind you real close just so he can watch over you from the back

— feeling down?

— " it's okay to let it out [y/n]. i'm here to listen, okay? "

— forehead kisses 🥺

— gives the BEST advices like oh gosh where does he get all that stuff from and how much has he actually experienced in life???

— and he's sort of like a mom friend actually

— not the biggest fan of small talks. well, sure, sometimes it helps him. but often it wears him out and he doesn't really get the point of why he and the other party should be talking about something that isn't conducive in any way

— being good at socializing doesn't mean he always enjoys it

— some peeps honestly wear him out tsk

— he's the type of person who looks deeply into stuff that has your brain turning its wheels at 3a.m. so if you're that type of person too then he'd be more than happy to discuss it with you and he'd be so in love ugh

— i mean he doesn't sleep at 3a.m. because that definitely is very much unhealthy but you get the picture

— though sometimes he has trouble sleeping because of overthinking

— he won't admit but it really helps if he can talk about it with you before the day ends

— you two often debate lightly but at some point it gets a wee bit serious

— but no one gets mad ofc it actually clears both your minds and gives you new perspectives

— if you're that person who asks someone else for homework answers then i'm sorry but light says N O

— he loves you, really

— but please learn to do it yourself

— he will help you understand the lesson if you had trouble doing so but it only goes that far

— oh AND I CAN TOTALLY SEE HIM HAVING A STUDY SESSION WITH HIS S/O <3333

— IT HAPPENS OFTEN

— AND IT'S ACTUALLY VERY RELAXING

— just there in the silence enjoying each other's company while reading

— either in his room, yours, or in a small coffee shop that's barely visited by anyone

— classrooms can work too only if the other students had already left

— also when he's really really bored he picks up the most random things he can see

— coughs the notebook coughs

— then proceeds to stare at them for like five minutes straight

— " why is he staring at a pencil like that— "

— " i think he's about to make-out with it "

— don't disturb him he's somehow managed to get lost deep in thought and if you dare interrupt it's adios for you

— when he stumbles upon the death note, he contemplates about telling you about it but thinks better and decides to keep silent at first

— but once he's sure that the notebook isn't just some kind of prank he gravely swears to himself that he'll never tell you about it

— he's not himself for the next few days because he. just. killed. a. bloody. person. and has a shinigami wandering by his side how. messed. up. is. that.

— and when you ask him what's the matter, he'll just look at you—look away—then shake his head

— because of his pride shyness he will not ask you to comfort him

— but when you do he'll just close his eyes, sigh, and indulge himself in that very moment

— then he'll whisper a barely audible " i love you "

— and he MEANS it

— once he recovers from the shock and knows just what to do with that bloody notebook a point where he has to break up with you will come

— the thought will pain him at first, but he's got to

— which is probably for the best because if you were to stick with him any longer he'd eventually kill you since he says you're not a very useful piece on his chessboard

— but that happens only if he survives

— in which case he doesn't

— well. . . moving on

— in conclusion, he's that type of bf who shows his love for you subtly. he respects your personal space because he has his own too. and he knows that although you two are in a relationship there are other things that require your attention more. being in a relationship does not mean smooching nearly every second of the day. love can come in many forms.

— please distract him so he doesn't find the notebook i just want my cinnamon roll back

[writing-in-lesbian]

I choose you, you know? It’ll be nice knowing you choose me too. Pt.6

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff / Female reader Tags: fluff, cursing words. Translations: Detka = baby // Moya lyubov = my love. Synopsis: You know your arrangement with her of being friends with benefits might end up hurting you, yet you choose to jump into her bed every time she asked… until you couldn’t. A/N: I’m sorry this update is like super short. Life has been hectic, my new neighbours are doing renovarions well into the night so I’m a little bit sleep deprived, just wanted to have soemthing out. I promise the final 2 chapters will be longer than this!!

Thursday couldn’t come sooner. You spent the last two days trying really hard not to overthink things. Bucky gave you really good insights into the whole situation and told you, just like Carol had, to just enjoy the present and not worry over things that were or are beyond your control. Given both of them know about your anxiety, they also reminded you they both were there if you need them.

You decided to keep it classic, going for dinner and a movie since it was still a work night and you know for sure Natasha has to be up earlier than you. After all, you’re the one still doing home office and not her. Getting the dinner reservations were easy, you opted for a family-friendly type of restaurant, going for Italian, knowing well Natasha loves it. Once you have everything organized you text her the general plan and tell her you’ll pick her up at 7 pm.

Wanda texts you with her opinion on the outfits you sent her earlier, telling you that it really didn’t matter what you wore since Natasha would probably still love you even if you showed in a garbage bag dress. 

You replied to her with the middle finger emoji.

There’s no need to say that you are a ball of nerves. Trying not to think and concentrate on breathing so you don’t get down in a spiral of thoughts and let your anxiety take the best of you. So in order to distract yourself, you took a long bath, bought some flowers online (choosing a pick up at store option), and tried to remember all the lyrics to “Satisfied” from Hamilton while getting ready, something that has helped in the past to calm yourself. Odd, but it works for you.

The alarm sounds. 6:15 pm sharp. If you want to make it on time you need to leave in the next five minutes. Grabbing your wallet and phone you shove it into the small purse (like really small only fitting that, both your keys, a really small bottle of perfume and lip balm) You once wondered what was the reason behind for you to have bought such a small item.

A text distracts you. 

Natasha.

Your heart drops and your stomach does that thing when you feel a hole in it. 

You can’t (or rather your anxiety) help thinking she’s about to cancel. Cautiously opening the app you read:

Tasha 💫: Can’t wait to see you in a few.

The stupid smile that reflects on your face is all the signs your brain needs to calm itself.

Quickly replaying that you can’t wait either and that you’re actually on your way, you leave your place. 

Some curses and a few minutes later, you are finally outside her place. You try to rearrange the flowers, one of the downsides of not finding a parking spot close to the store and rushing in and out made a few of them fall out of place. You take a deep breath in… and let it out.

After the first knock, the door opened.

And she’s standing there, in all her glory… in black slacks, black hills, and a sinful wine blouse that does things to your stomach. You are staring and the grin she has makes you well aware that she notices.

“I think I made the right choice with my outfit then”

“Uh… yeah… I mean, hi, these are for you” you say sort of pushing them into her hands. Her small laughs make you blush.

“So kind of you. Let me put them on water and we can go”

“Sure, sure, yeah. I’ll wait”

This is ridiculous you think. You and Natasha used to talk easily way before your little arrangement so this shouldn’t feel weird. You think is more due to nervousness, as you both are testing new waters in this new side of the relationship. You are distracted from your thoughts when you feel Natasha’s hand on your shoulder.

“I’m ready detka” and the smile she gives you melts your heart. You can’t help but mirror it. Clearing your throat, you open the door and step outside, offering your arm for her to take.

“Shall we?”

“We shall,” she says as she takes your arm after closing the door.

Once in the elevator she steps closer to you, her perfume reaching your nose, a small scent of flowers with a little tone of citric that somehow works on her. The ride downstairs is slow and you can feel a tension building up slowly, if somebody were to enter, they could cut it with a knife. 

“Are you finally telling me where are we going to eat or am I supposed to know until we get there”

“Well, Miss. Romanoff if you must know…” her eyes widened slightly, thinking you actually caved in. “It shall remain a surprise” it takes her two seconds to understand what you didn’t actually say, her lips forming an “O” shape.

“I kinda hate you”

“No, you don’t”

“No, I don’t”

“I know you don’t like surprises, and I would really like to keep the destination a mystery but if you want to know I can tell you thou,” you tell her while avoiding contact. After this time you still get shy and nervous around her.

Natasha observes you, part of your charm has always been that shy side you have, that introverted part you claim to dislike but actually love and she can’t help but feel drawn to it.

“I trust you, clearly you spent a lot of time planning our date”

Tree little words, tree hard words for her to utter, you should know, but hearing them directed at you, even if she has spoken them before still makes your heart do flip flops.

“I promise you will like it”

She grabs your hand tentatively. You interwind your fingers with hers. She squeezes your hand.

Masterlist

// TAG LIST //

@poptartpoppyy @s1ut4nat @temptationsbrew @thatonebrazilian @ladyylesbian @ima-gi--na-tion @username23345 @raqelacevedo @norwaynatasharomanoff @strangegardentaco

[bowandcurtsey]

Hi! May I request the Black clover captains Yami, Nozel, William, and Fuegoleon find out their s/o having a purging disorder. Imagine this: the captains picking up on their s/o’s behavior after a while and finding out the symptoms match their s/o’s behavior. Like their hair falling out more than usual, going to the bathroom after eating, walking in on them purging, fasting/not eating for the day, them not feeling hungry. Hard core angst at first then fluff at the end. I’ve been suffering from it for a while now. I’m a few minutes clean now which is sad because I was a few weeks clean. I’m sorry if you don’t feel comfortable writing this you don’t have to write it if you don’t feel comfortable but if you do write it take as much time as you need! Don’t forget to eat or drink anything and get plenty of sleep!

TW: disorders, purging, vomitting

Honey, first of all, lemme give you a hug.

(ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc)

Secondly, I'm really sorry that you had to wait so long for this.. I am honoured that you sent in this request and I really hope I could help comfort you a little. ♡ Please know that you're not alone and let me tell you that it is okay and it will be okay. I used to suffer from bulimia. Also, if you're comfortable enough, please talk to someone. Anyone. You could talk to me too ♡

Yami | Nozel | William x f! reader

TW: angst at the start. (sorry couldn't really do hardcore angst dearie! Just couldn't see my boys being so angry at their s/o for having disorders)

Yami Sukehiro

When Yami is really mad, he's all quiet. You both sat in your room in silence for awhile.

Yami's had his suspicions that something was up with you, but his brain just couldn't wrap around what it was. Your ki was off, you were hiding something from him and some days it made him panic.

When he walked in on you towering over the toilet, everything just clicked. He gave you some tissues and went out to wait for you.

You didn't even dare look him in the eye. You didn't need to know how to read ki to know he was livid. All kind of crazy thoughts flashed in your mind, wondering if he was going to give you a lash out of worst, leave this relationship.

"How long have you been doing this?" he finally asked.

"For sometime now.. I tried to stop and I've been a few weeks clean but.."

"Why didn't you tell me?" he cut you off.

So he was actually upset that you didn't tell him what you were going through. Your mind was whirling, so you didn't know what to say at the moment.

"Geez y/n. You belittle me too much. What did you think? I couldn't handle it?"

So your man actually pull you into his lap like you were nothing and there you were pouring your heart out to him about your problems and disorder. He quietly stroked your back while he listened silently.

This man wasn't really good with cheesey or romantic words, so he'll always ask you if you want to go on walks with him, or head out with him so you could keep your mind off overthinking.

He'll also help watch what you eat, and sometimes if you're really craving for desserts or junk food, he'll share them with you.

He'll be a little cheeky sometimes and says that you both could exercise together if you feel insecure about your body figure. But he totally finds a way to make you feel assured that he does not mind and loves you whatever.

Nozel Silva

He was really irritated because you were obviously hiding something from him. But he just couldn't find out what it was. You were excusing yourself early after dinner, you were constantly rejecting him for meals together. Sometimes you'd just go for really long toilet runs saying you had a bad tummy.

One day he really had enough. He followed you into the toilet and opened the door. "What are you hiding from me y/n?"

Nozel was a smart man, he put 2 and 2 together and realised what was going on. You both stood there in silence for awhile as you hung your head low, unable to face him. After awhile he walked out of the toilet, giving you some space.

You took a long time inside. You were panicking because he sounded so angry. You didn't even know if he was still outside or if he still wanted to be with you.

You didn't know how much time passed but suddenly his voice came form the other side of the door.

"I'm sorry, y/n." his voice was gentle and soft. After you came out, you apologised to him as well. Then you both sat in silence again.

"Could you tell me about it?" he asked you.

The moment you both locked eyes, you will never forget the image of his face. It was filled with worry, anxiety, sadness, frustration with himself. It broke your heart then and there. You eventually opened up and talked to him about your disorder.

He asked how he could help you and make you feel better. But you told him that only you could help yourself.

Nozel Silva was determined to help you get better. He studied about disorders, visited doctors and counsellors, everything just so he could help you recover. Of course he had a nutritionist prepare healthy snacks for you whenever you had cravings.

Nozel is not very good with his words, but his actions will definitely show you that he cares. As much as he can, he's with you and by your side.

Behind closed doors, he's more affectionate. He'll gently stroke your hair and asked you how you were feeling each day. If it was good, he'll tell you that you did a great job. If it wasn't that great, he'll tell you it's okay and he loves you nevertheless.

William Vangeance

You didn’t even notice your hair was dropping a lot more than usual. William was the one who did. He also noticed your disappearance after meals and also your “lack of appetite”

He just didn't know how to do it. How to approach you about it. Will you be mad at him for 'calling you out'? Would you be upset at him and want to leave this relationship?

He was afraid of what might happen if he exposed you and he couldn't afford to lose you. He just wanted you to be okay.

The opportunity for him came when he accidentally walked in on you in the toilet.

His heart almost broke at the sight of you kneeling in front of the toilet, but he told himself he had to be strong at a time like this.

He gently held your hair away from your face for you and gave you some paper towel for when you were done.

He gently stroked your hair while you washed your face in the sink before telling you to take a nice warm shower.

When you were out, he prepared a nice tea for you. You have no idea what it was, but it soothed your tummy and your throat. It calmed your nerves as you sat down on your bed.

"are you okay?" he asked quietly, "you know you can tell me anything, y/n."

He wouldn't force you to tell him, if you wanted to, you would. If not, it's okay. He would just protect you in his own ways.

From then onwards, William would make special efforts to have meals together with you. Sometimes, even if you said you weren't hungry, he'd cook a healthy soup for you. Sometimes, he'd bring a salad or make a sandwich.

He may be busy with his captain duties, but you were just as important. He was determined to help you recover so eventually he gave you a little diary for you to write your emotions and feelings everyday.

Be prepared for random kisses and him telling you that "you're doing just fine". He's just such a sweetheart.

-end-