#but then Adam Driver just goes one up with that gene

[whereisthebigstabbyman]

this post in photo form:

People always put Adam into the “ugly white men that people thirst for” category. For me, this isn’t even about him anymore. It’s about how much grip he has on me. I said I don’t want kids. One day I saw a post of Adam Sackler holding a baby. A 3 second gif fucking rewrote my programme. Sure I still don’t want kids. But the idea that he could just trick me into thinking “I’m willing to have your children” even for a few seconds, it’s pretty horrifying. He’s a Greek God marble statue came to life

Listen…

I get this, I understand this, and this is his brand.

He’s built like a MAN. When he’s bulked out, it’s like the testosterone and his pheromones are so fucking strong they shroud him in a supernatural aura of primal get fucked upness. 

LOOK AT THIS SHIT

He looks like he could build the homestead, protect it, and hunt with his bare hands. He’s so thick and tall that it triggers that primal holy shit my uterus deal and also the “Yes I do the cooking, yes I do the cleaning….” thing. 

The thing is, he is attractive. He’s so outside the norm of the cookie cutter Hollywood type that has been shoved down our throats for so long that people are thrown by it.

He’s just a wall of man and there is no way to truly explain or sum it up in any known language.

[bellyfisher]

strawberries and cigarettes

read on ao3! | 2.2k words

summary: Conrad stops me and tilts my head to look into his eyes, he’s staring at my lips, “So if I kissed you right now, you wouldn’t feel anything?” His voice goes dark.

aka Belly and Conrad do kiss the first night.

It’s the first night in Cousins for the summer. I put on my black one piece, the only swimsuit that still fits me. I grab my purple towel and head out to the pool. Night swims are my favorite, it’s like liminal space. An alternate reality where time isn’t real for awhile. I feel braver in the pool. After doing a few laps, I come up for air and Conrad sits on the edge in his signature pink hoodie and dark blue shorts. His feet submerged, a beer bottle next to him, and a cigarette in his mouth.

“Belly your night swims aren’t exactly a secret.” My mouth opens into an “O” shape. He’s been paying attention to me?

“Since when do you smoke?” I stare up at him. I need to change the subject immediately.

“Why does it matter?” He states back simply.

“You always said smoking was bad for you. Messes with the white matter in your brain.”

“God, do you memorize everything I say?” He tilts his head with a smirk on his face. He knows what he’s doing.

“No. But you need to stop smoking.” I try my best to seem unaffected. He isn’t winning this game.

“What will you give me if I do?” Conrad’s voice gets lower, he’s taunting me. And the game just changed again. Conrad has always kept me on my toes. I can lean into whatever this is or pretend I don’t know what he’s trying to do.

I stare at Conrad for a few moments and decide to cock my head, the bravery of night helping me, “Actually I change my mind, smoking is hot”. I smirk at him, wondering if he’ll call me on my bluff.

“Come light it for me then.” I stare blankly not thinking I would get this far. I start to open my mouth and give in, copping out of this game of chicken. “Do you want to get out of here?” Conrad asks before I can get a word out.

I hold out my arm silently as he helps me out of the pool. I slide on some shorts over my one piece. Is this real? I don’t say a word, scared to break whatever trance Conrad may be in.

We get to his car in the driveway and he checks his pocket for his keys. “Shit.” He mumbles.

I start to laugh and point, “Hey look in your front seat.”

“Oh you’re fucking kidding me!” He bellows. There they are, sitting on the driver’s seat in his locked car.

“Shh you’re gonna wake moms. They would kill me if they knew i was leaving the house this late.”

“But you’re with me.” He winks.

“I don’t think they would approve of this situation though.” He grabs my hand and starts fast walking to the road.

“Where are we going?” I ask him

“I don’t know but I just want to get out of here, you know?”

“Yeah I get it.” And I did. It was probably for very different reasons but on some level Conrad and I always understood each other. “So when did you start smoking Mr. bad boy?”

“When I quit football.” He shrugs like it was just a blip in an otherwise uninteresting life he led.

“Well why did you quit?”

“I dont know.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.” It comes out harsher than I mean it to. Conrad can hide from everyone else, but he can’t hide from me.

“Language Belly!”

“Don’t call me Belly. And stop avoiding the question.”

“Okay I quit because of my dad. I just don’t want to be like him.”

Conrad gripped my hand tighter as he said that. I squeezed him back to let him know I was still there. That I wasn’t actually mad.

“Is that the only thing that’s wrong?” After the words leave my mouth, the walk is silent for 5 minutes. I don’t want to push him because I don’t want this to end. If Conrad changes the subject I decide in my mind that I won’t push it more.

Conrad sighs, like he’s trying to give himself confidence, “I just-how could he cheat on my mom you know? Am I hard-wired to be a shitty person? Is it in my genes?”

The idea of Adam cheating on Susannah makes me want to cry, but I’m determined to be strong for Conrad, “Mr. Fisher made his choices and I think you sitting here saying you’re scared you’ll be like him means you aren’t.”

“I just couldn’t live with myself if I became a bad person, you know.” Conrad looks away from me as he says this. He’s still holding my hand though.

“Conrad, you could never be a bad person.” My voice softens as I realize this is one of Conrad’s deepest fears.

“You’re just saying that because you’ve always had a crush on me.” His tone is lighter at a flip of a switch, he’s nudging me while I giggle.

My cheeks turn hot and red as I look down, “Maybe I’m just taking pity on you?”

Conrad stops me and tilts my head to look into his eyes, he’s staring at my lips, “So if I kissed you right now, you wouldn’t feel anything?” His voice goes dark.

Be strong, Belly. “N-nope. I wouldn’t feel anything but pity.”

“Belly I know I’m a good kisser. I’ll have you weak in the knees.” He would, he does already. But I’m not admitting to anything.

I lick my lips. The air is silent. It’s 85 degrees outside but I’m shivering. Conrad pulls off his sweatshirt and gives it to me to wear. He doesn’t take his eyes off of me the whole time.

Is he going to kiss me? Are my dreams really coming true?

He leans down and presses his lips to mine. He starts softly, his mouth still closed. I take my hand out of his and put it around his neck. He takes the opportunity to put his hands on my waist and deepen the kiss. When he opens his mouth to meet with my tongue, he tastes like strawberries and cigarettes. I decide in that moment that strawberries will never taste the same to me again.

I pull away and look up at him, both of us breathing heavily. Before I can get a word out he’s crashing his lips into mine again. He lifts me up like i weigh nothing and I wrap my legs around him. The kiss has gone from soft and thoughtful to passionate and overwhelming. He kisses me like im air he needs to breathe. After a minute or an hour, I can't even begin to tell, he finally puts me down.

“Wow.” Is all I can manage to breathe out.

“Told you I’m a good kisser.” He winks at me again. I shove him playfully. He grabs my hand again as we keep walking.

“Where are we going anyways?”

“There’s a treehouse in a park that has a really good view of the beach. You’ll love it.”

————————————————————————

Conrad holds my hand to help me up the ladder. Once we’re up, I sit next to him. Our legs are straight but touching each other on the side. My whole body is buzzing from the high of this night. Conrad pulls out another cigarette.

“I was serious earlier, you should quit.” Conrad looks at me and lights the cigarette with no shame, “Fine but I’m not coming to visit you when you get lung cancer.”

“Oh Belly ever the optimist. What if I never get lung cancer?”

“Okay either way I don’t want to listen to your smoker’s cough for the rest of our lives. It’s gross.”

Conrad quietly smokes the cigarette, refusing to answer me. So I lay back on my hands and look out over the ocean. Not much to see in the dark, but the stars are out in full force tonight.

“Do you ever get scared that you won’t live up to the potential everyone sees in you?” I startle a little bit, not expecting Conrad to talk.

“Well actually I don’t think people see anything in me besides this annoying little girl, so no. Can’t say I relate.”

Conrad is silent.

“But for what it’s worth, I think the only person worried about that is you. Your mom and Jeremiah would always love you no matter what. I mean Susannah is worried sick about you. I overheard her talking to my mom about it.”

“Yeah but they’re forced to love me no matter what.”

“Well okay then consider me. I don’t have to like you at all, and I practically worship the ground you walk on. I could have easily decided Jeremiah was perfect to me, but I chose you for a reason.” I giggle a little bit. Trying to lighten the mood but it doesn’t seem to help, “If it makes you feel better, I feel like I’m never going to find a place that’s home to me.”

“Ah you’re young though. Maybe you’ll find home wherever you go to college.”

“Yeah but I think home will always be Cousins to me. And I don’t see how I would end up living here full-time.”

“Here I’ll make you a deal: I give you the summer house when it’s inevitably passed to me, and you get off my ass about smoking.” Conrad finally cracks a smile.

“Deal.” I shake his hand, “I’m holding you to that.”

“I expect nothing less from you.”

We talk up in that treehouse until the sun rises. We don’t talk about anything of substance really. Just teachers we had in school, what classes Conrad is taking in the fall, our best summer memories.

“My favorite memory I think is the first belly flop we ever did. The look of pure terror on your face, mom’s laughter, the unadulterated joy of the summer house.” I wince. I remember it differently. It felt like a game everyone else was in on except for me. Although, it does boost my ego that I’m in his favorite summer memory and not some girl he’s made out with. Even if I am one of those girls now.

I don’t tell him this night is my favorite memory, I’ll keep it to myself for now.

“We should probably get back to the house.” I say starting to stand up, “I don’t feel like walking so I’m calling Steven. He owes me a no-questions-asked.”

Conrad follows me down the ladder. We sit on a bench for a few minutes in total silence. Steven pulls up and Jeremiah is in the passenger seat, forcing me and Conrad to sit in the back.

“Why were you guys out so late?” Steven immediately tries to ask.

“Nope.” I pop, “You owe me a no questions asked. And out of the rules of a no-questions-asked I will not elaborate for your sake why you owe me one.” I say sternly. (He owes me one because I caught him writing Drarry fanfiction two months ago).

Steven grumbles, Jeremiah raises an eyebrow at me through the rearview mirror and I give him a small smile. I look out the window, and I feel Conrad grab three of my fingers gently.

So it was real to him too and I can’t help the giddiness I feel. My heart starts racing. I'm sure everyone can hear it.

————————————————————————-

I pass out at the summer house. Thankfully, mom and Susannah never found out I left. I slept until about 2 PM that day. When I make my way to the kitchen, Conrad is sitting at the island eating a bowl of cereal.

“Mornin’” I smile at him. I get nothing but a grunt in return. I’m a little bit stunned. I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t this, “You okay?” I ask as I go in the fridge for a yogurt.

“Yeah, Belly. I’m fine.” His tone feels straightforward. Why is he doing this?

“Why are you being like that?” My voice gets small. Conrad wouldn’t rip last night away from me, I know him.

“I’m not being like anything.”

“You weren’t acting like this last night.” There’s hurt in my voice. I don’t want it to be there.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Nothing happened last night.” He looks up at me. Daring me to start an argument.

“I really can’t believe you, asshole. After all you said to me? It was real and you know it. I don’t know why you’re hiding from me.”

“Belly, you’re acting crazy.” He gets up to wash his dish, “I’ve gotta go. Told Jeremiah I would surf with him.”

Conrad walks out the back door towards the beach without so much as looking back at me. I can still taste him on my lips and I’m still wearing his sweatshirt that lingers of his smell. Instead of making me happy, it makes me sob. It will always be Conrad’s choice if we’re together or not, and I get that now.

[joshjacksons]

Joshua Jackson interview with “Irish Independent”

It was during a childhood visit to his granny’s house in Dublin’s Ballyfermot that Joshua Jackson smoked his first cigarette.

“My memories of those visits to Ballyfermot are quite sweet really,” the Dawson’s Creek actor recalls. “I was always running around with the neighbourhood kids, getting into trouble. Not bad trouble, just little-kid trouble. Although, technically it’s where I smoked my first cigarette, so that in itself isn’t the sweetest memory.”

Jackson’s handsome face surges with deep laughter lines and quiet dimples at the mention of mum Fiona’s home turf. “She might prefer I’d say she was from Chapelizod”, he jokes, before proudly pinning his mum’s allegiance to “Ballyer”.

Was the young Canadian treated like a shiny, exotic object by the local kids? “I was a bit, but I became less exotic the older I got. Culturally, I was so far away from an Irish kid but in a little pack of children, everyone finds their level. It also helped that I had my own cousins, my own blood, around with us. I had that family connection so I never felt too exoticised.”

An entry on his IMDb profile suggests his late grandparents Rosemary and Patrick were opera singers in Dublin, indicating that performance runs in the genes. The actor seems unaware. “Mum tells me they used to sing to each other a lot. My grandparents lived in council housing with a little kitchen out the back, garden right outside, and they would sing to each other through the window as he was out pottering about while she was cooking.

“But he was known more as a snooker shark around Ballyfermot. And my grandmother, she was known as a sainted mother of seven.”

Having welcomed his first child, Janie, with his wife, the actor Jodie Turner-Smith, last year, it’s obvious family is paramount for 43-year-old Jackson, as he Zoom-calls from a rich hotel suite with dark wallpaper and plump cushions in the background. It stems from an evident bond with his mum, whose presence lovingly peppers our conversation. Just 16 when she left Dublin, Fiona Jackson travelled through Paris, Amsterdam and Geneva before embracing the vibrancy of London’s Swinging Sixties and ultimately making for Vancouver in her early twenties.

In an entry on her blog, she speaks of falling for “the spectacular beauty of snow-capped mountains and the Pacific Ocean” and ultimately scoring an entry-level position at a Canadian talent agency. It led to a career as a successful casting agent, working on film classics including Carnal Knowledge with Jack Nicholson and McCabe & Mrs Miller with Warren Beatty and Julie Christie.

She met and married Joshua’s father, John Carter, and the young family moved to Los Angeles. Sister Aisleagh was born shortly before John walked out on the family, leaving a profound effect.

“My father, unfortunately, was not a good father or husband and exited the scene,” the actor disclosed last year, before adding it’s something he “will never get over”.

Young infants in tow, Fiona returned to Vancouver and, having found early success in casting, helped contribute to the foundation of the burgeoning “Hollywood North” industry on the Canadian west coast.

Accompanying his mum on set, young Joshua’s interests were piqued. “She introduced me to this world and saw from a young age that I enjoyed performing in a way that kids do. She allowed me the opportunity to step into her work world, but it was also very clear that it was work.”

He appeared as an extra on MacGyver and as a child actor’s double in The Fly II, and Fiona could see her son’s talent and genuine desire to impress. So she allowed him to audition. However, permission came with strict caveats.

“I don’t think my mum would have ever put me anywhere near the entertainment industry if I didn’t have something to offer to it. And not just for myself; she’s a prideful woman and didn’t want to be embarrassed by her kid.”

Casting 1991 melodrama Crooked Hearts with ER’s Noah Wyle, Fiona gave Joshua a chance to shine. Impressing the filmmakers, the then-12-year-old secured the part, setting him not only on a path to stardom but away from the troubles of his teen years.

“My mother gave me the guard rails I needed at that time and also recognised, being a working single mum and with me a young boy, transitioning into a teenager, I needed structure in my life. I needed something that I was passionate about and had a respect for, because I was kind of a typical teenage disaster.

“I look back on those times in my life and the two parallel tracks I was running on. On the one hand, getting into all sorts of trouble and, on the other hand, my professional life, where I showed up and learned my lines and did my job in order to be respected by the adults I was around. If I hadn’t had that professional side of my life, the other side would have taken over, and Mum saw that. Who knows where I would have ended up?”

So Jackson was a full-on teen delinquent? “Yeah, I was, to a certain extent. It was relatively innocent — nobody died — but I was a teenage boy who didn’t have a father in the home, didn’t have a man to be scared of, frankly, and as a teenage boy, I think that helps. My mum had to work and she wasn’t always in the house so I learned to get into more and more trouble. I got into just enough trouble to have a good time and learn some lessons but if I hadn’t had my work life, I might have tipped over into the kind of trouble that you don’t come back from.”

Three decades in and Jackson remains one of the hardest-working, most recognisable actors in the game. Hitting pay dirt at 18 as Dawson’s Creek’s Pacey Witter — the wisecracking, teacher-bedding antithesis to James Van Der Beek’s beleaguered titular drip — the actor was a revelation: the soul and bite of a seasoned character performer in the guise of relatable poster-boy idol.

Teens swooned, so did the industry, and alongside Van Der Beek, Michelle Williams and Katie Holmes, Jackson had Hollywood at his feet.

A string of popcorn offerings followed — Cruel Intentions, Gossip, Shutter, Cursed — some quality, others derivative, with the small screen ultimately best utilising his skills. A five-season run on sci-fi series Fringe was followed by an outstanding turn on Showtime’s The Affair. Last year, he maintained a brooding presence opposite Reese Witherspoon and Kerry Washington in Little Fires Everywhere. And this year, he takes on arguably his darkest work yet in Dr Death.

The new miniseries is based on the non-fiction podcast of the same name, and Jackson portrays Christopher Duntsch, a former spinal surgeon who maimed 33 patients owing to gross malpractice while operating in hospitals in Dallas and Fort Worth, Texas. Two of these patients lost their lives. Convicted in 2017, Duntsch is currently in prison and serving life imprisonment. He still maintains his innocence, with his defence arguing that he was merely a bad surgeon, not a criminal.

Exuding a simmering malevolence, the actor showcases Duntsch’s disturbing complexities and terrifying behaviour as a narcissist and sociopath with a keen insight. Did Jackson meet with Duntsch? “I wanted to, but that was going to be really difficult because he’s appealing his case and his lawyers would’ve advised against it. And as I got deeper into the materials and podcast, and got a better understanding of the man, I don’t think it would’ve helped because he still really believes he’s the victim of his own patients, and the lawyers and the legal system. I’m not sure asking a liar for the truth gets you any closer to the truth.”

When it came to the victims, Jackson wanted to maintain a respectful distance. “I didn’t need to drag them through those awful memories again and I’m always a little dubious about asking people to delve into the worst moments of their life just to satisfy my curiosity. The questions had already been asked thanks to the podcast.”

Dr Death came at the right time in the actor’s life. New baby daughter Janie offered a crucial respite from the intense, and often dark, six-month foray into Duntsch’s malignant psyche.

“Inhabiting Mr Duntsch was an ugly space to live in for six months. If I’d been coming home to an empty house every night, it would have been a pretty bleak existence. It was so much better to come back to a loving home. My one-year-old doesn’t give a damn what I was doing that day. She just wants to be loved and hugged and cuddled, and it was the perfect antidote when some days were particularly heavy.”

Recently Jackson confessed that the Dawson’s Creek cast won’t be returning for a retrospective reunion like the Friends stars did earlier this year. “If you put our mid-forties selves together on a couch now, with our creaking backs, it might shock people.”

Quizzed on an actual reboot of the drama, Joshua reckons he’s simply too old to replicate the iconic rapid exchanges of dialogue between the garrulous young characters. “We were like The West Wing for teenagers,” he laughs, referencing Aaron Sorkin’s hit political TV series, also infamous for speedy script delivery. “My 43-year-old brain couldn’t do a show at that pace. Back then, we were doing seven, 10 pages a day and, to deliver dialogue at that speed, you have to have a certain mental capacity for that, and I don’t have it anymore. That’s the real reason why we’re not doing a reunion — I’ve become too dumb to keep up with that script.”

He remains in touch with his DC co-stars, including Holmes, his one-time girlfriend of two years. There’s even a text chain. “It goes through spurts every once in a while. I’ll have a bunch of messages on it and then it’ll go dormant. We’re like college friends — there are moments we’re all in contact and then long, fallow periods as we get on with our lives.”

While maintaining a busy slate, Jackson’s overwhelming purpose continues to circle the women in his life. Turner-Smith is currently shooting a new movie with Adam Driver and Greta Gerwig, so he’s assuming full-time dad duties. It’s an equitable arrangement given the flexible needs of their individual commitments, and one he appears content with.

[emmerrr]

Jordeclan going to an amusement park or a fair? They both just honestly need a break and some fun!!

anon i’m so sorry this took so long but hey i made it valentine’s day and there’s lynch bros content and i hope you like it (also on ao3)

-

Declan wakes up on the morning of Valentine’s Day not really aware that it’s Valentine’s Day.

It’s Saturday, so he doesn’t need to go into work, and he trundles down the stairs into the kitchen and makes himself a coffee. Matthew and Ronan are still asleep, the latter of whom spent the night after driving up the previous day to go to an art show with his brothers. (Ronan had been less than subtle about his disdain for the ‘art’ in question; Declan had dragged them out early to go to a diner for some burgers. Brotherly bonding at its finest.)

He sits at the breakfast bar with his coffee and checks his emails on his phone like he’s reading the news. There’s a few work things, but not too much, all things considered. He sends a good morning text to Jordan, knowing in all likelihood she won’t read it until at least noon. The thought of her brings a smile to his face, and he wonders if he’ll get to see her later. They don’t have any solid plans in place, but their relationship has never been one that follows a rigid structure anyway. She’s been a breath of fresh air in every possible way.

An hour or so later, Declan hears Ronan moving around in the guest bedroom upstairs, probably throwing his stuff together before he drives back to Singer’s Falls. Not long after that, Matthew comes down the stairs, golden curls matted to his head on one side from where he’s slept on them.

“Mornin’,” he says through a yawn, and takes a seat. “What’s for breakfast?”

“Whatever you want.”

Matthew hums. “I want eggs.”

Declan nods at the fridge. “Go on then.”

Matthew sighs but gets up again and opens the refrigerator, standing solemnly in front of it before slowly removing a carton of eggs.

He puts them down and makes a good show of looking lost as he meanders around the kitchen finding everything he needs. Declan knows he’s doing it on purpose, but goddamn if it doesn’t work. “For crying out loud, how do you want them?”

Matthew grins; he’s won this round. “Scrambled, please. You’re the best.”

“Yeah, yeah. You can make your own toast, though. And go and ask Ronan if he wants any.”

“Yes, sir!” Matthew salutes, and runs off to the hallway to yell up the stairs at Ronan.

A mountain of breakfast later, Ronan disappears again to have a shower, and Declan makes Matthew wash the dishes. He sits in the living room and turns on some nature documentary just for background noise, but only a minute or two passes before Matthew comes in and sits down.

“You cannot possibly have finished the dishes yet,” Declan says.

“They need to soak,” Matthew insists, eyes skating guiltily from Declan’s face to the TV screen. “Oh, is this the one with the penguins?” He sits down, and Declan resolves himself to finishing the singular chore he asked Matthew to do later.

“Yes, half a job Bob, it’s the one with the penguins.”

Matthew smiles indulgently and settles in to watch, but they both get distracted a moment later when they spot Ronan walking past, carrying a lot more than he originally had with him.

“Why do you have a big teddy bear?” Matthew asks.

“Is that a boom-box?” Declan asks.

“Is that a heart-shaped balloon with Adam’s face on it?” Matthew asks.

“What are you doing?” Declan asks.

Ronan leaves everything in the hall by the door and comes to stand just inside the living room, hands in his pockets. He shrugs. “Just gonna make a pit-stop at Cambridge, that’s all.”

Declan sighs. “It’s not exactly on your way. Does Adam even know you’re coming?”

“No, it’s a surprise. It’s a funny inside joke Valentine’s surprise.”

“What do you mean, Valentine’s surprise, it’s not Val—oh my god.” Declan puts his head in his hands. “Oh my god, it’s Valentine’s Day.”

“Oh, Declan,” Ronan says, the smile evident in his voice. “Forget, did you?”

Declan lifts his head. “It was a busy week at work.”

“Don’t worry, bro, I must have got all the romantic genes, it’s not your fault.”

Declan scowls but there’s little heat in it. He checks his phone and Jordan is yet to reply, which could mean nothing, but doubt now niggles in Declan’s mind. What if Jordan was expecting some kind of gesture and is now massively disappointed that Declan is so useless?

“What do I do? It’s too late to make any reservations.”

“Reservations are for chumps anyway, just go and do something fun,” Ronan says.

“Like what?” Declan snaps. All that’s running through his head is that he got Jordan some tyrian purple at great cost and at very short notice for their very first date. If her expectations for Valentine’s Day are high, he has no one to blame but himself.

“I’ll leave that up to you to figure out,” Ronan says. “I have to hit the road.”

Matthew laughs and elbows Declan playfully. “Ronan is a better boyfriend than you.”

“No he isn’t, shut up,” Declan says, which just makes Matthew laugh harder.

After Ronan hugs Matthew goodbye, Declan helps him carry the ridiculous gifts he has obviously dreamt up out to the car.

“Text me when you’re with Adam,” he says when he’s closed the trunk, “so I know you got there okay.”

Ronan opens the driver’s side door and levels Declan with a put-upon look. “Fine, I will try my very best to remember to text you when I arrive.”

Declan manages a smile. “Appreciate it. Drive safe.”

Ronan moves to get in the car, but hesitates, and turns back to his brother. “You’re not really worried that you forgot about today, right?” At Declan’s shrug, he continues, “Come on, Jordan’s cool, she’s not gonna care. Everyone knows Valentine’s Day is bullshit.”

“Says the guy who’s driving several hours out of his way in honour of said bullshit day,” Declan says pointedly.

Ronan shakes his head. “Look, the day’s irrelevant; I’m driving several hours out of my way because I miss my fucking boyfriend and this is as good an excuse as any to go see him.”

“Yes, but—”

“But nothing. Jordan likes you, for some unfathomable reason. She’s not gonna dump you because you didn’t remember to plan some posh, soulless valentine’s date.”

Abrasive as he is, Declan can’t deny that Ronan’s right. “When did you get so wise?” he grumbles, and Ronan smirks.

“Hey, statistically I’ve gotta be right about some things.”

“Once in a blue moon.”

“Asshole.”

“Yeah, yeah. Get out of here.” Ronan gets into the car, but Declan stops him before he shuts it. “You really think Jordan is cool?”

Ronan laughs. “Way too cool for you.”

Declan’s unwarranted fears about Jordan ignoring him fade as soon as she texts him back an hour or so later. She doesn’t mention the dreaded V-word, but she says there’s a fair in town, and asks if he wants to go.

A fair date sounds pretty perfect actually, and when he agrees, Jordan tells him she’ll pick him up at seven. She always does like to drive.

“I still haven’t got her a gift, though,” Declan tells Matthew. “Is it bad that I don’t have a gift?”

“You’re going to a fair,” Matthew points out. “Plenty of opportunities to be all manly and shit and win her something.”

“Language,” Declan says, and Matthew rolls his eyes.

“You should get her a card, at least.”

“Valentine’s Day cards are always so terrible, though,” Declan complains.

“So make her one. Jordan’s arty, she’d probably like that better anyway.”

Declan doesn’t like that both of his younger brothers are being smarter than him today, but nevertheless, Matthew is right, and Declan ransacks his office supplies to see what he can come up with.

He uses some high-quality photo paper to print out a picture of a pretty flower that he found online, then carefully cuts it out and glues it to the middle of the front of some card he’s folded in half. He frames it by cutting out strips of purple card and sticking them around the flower. Then he gets irritated with how shit it looks and considers throwing the whole fucking thing away and starting from scratch, when Matthew peers over his shoulder and says, “Aw, that looks really nice.”

So Declan keeps it, writes his message inside, and finds an envelope that is only a little bit too big to put it in.

Time’s getting on, so he goes to get ready. He has no idea what to wear for a date at a fair, and takes two tie options out to the living room to get Matthew’s opinion.

“Which tie is more appropriate?”

“Neither.”

“You didn’t even look.”

“I don’t need to. Don’t wear a tie. You’re not going on a job interview. Plus it’s February and you’ll be outside, put a sweater on.” Matthew does finally look at him now, and he sighs at Declan’s blue button-down and grey slacks. “This is what you wear for work, put some jeans on. You’ve like, met Jordan, right?”

“Alright, smartass, point taken.”

When Declan’s changed again, Matthew decrees his outfit of jeans and a fairisle sweater in navy tones boring but ultimately acceptable, which Declan figures is the best he’s going to get. He also thinks he’s going mad if he’s asking Matthew of all people for fashion advice.

He just has time to slip his coat on and put the card in the inside pocket before there’s a knock at the door, and Matthew runs to open it.

“Hiya, squirt,” Jordan says to him, which is funny because Matthew is taller than her.

“Hey. Declan tried to wear a tie.”

Jordan laughs, throwing her head back, and Declan finds there’s a dopey grin on his face even though his girlfriend and his brother are bonding over making fun of him. “Of course he did. Never fully dressed without a tie.” She meets Declan’s gaze over Matthew’s shoulder and winks at him.

“Hey, I’m right here,” he says, faux-wounded, and makes his way over to the door as Matthew heads back to the living room.

He kisses Jordan. “Hi.”

“Hi yourself. You ready to go?”

“Yes.”

“Have fun, guys!” Matthew yells, and Declan hesitates, poking his head in to look at his brother.

“What are you doing tonight? You can come with us if you want?”

“No way, man, I’m not third-wheeling on your date. Also it’s cute how you think I don’t already have plans, I’m extremely popular.”

“Uh huh,” Declan says, worries evaporating. “Modest, too.”

They leave, finally, and Jordan drives them to where the fair is set up, filling Declan in on any little anecdotes he’s missed since they last spoke. He’s happy just to listen to her talk; sitting in her presence is like recharging a battery, and he feels lighter than he has all week.

Parking is easy to find, and they huddle together as they walk towards the entrance, the lights from all the rides and the heat lamps looking bright and inviting beyond. Jordan slips her hand into Declan’s, and he tucks them both into his pocket as Jordan leans her head against his shoulder.

“I missed you this week,” she says.

“Did you?” Declan smiles. He likes being missed by Jordan. “I missed you too. I always miss you.”

“Well you say that now, but I’m going to destroy you at fairground games, so you might change your mind.”

Declan’s doubtful, but he grins at her amenably.

She holds up a finger. “But first, we need to go on a couple of super fast, spinny rides, because if we go on them after I’ve had something to eat I might just throw up all over you.”

“Yeah, let’s avoid that,” Declan says. “Lead the way.”

Jordan, practically vibrating with excitement, drags Declan straight to the ride she keeps calling ‘the whirligig’, because it takes you round and round, faster and faster, while the carriage you sit in is also spinning. So it’s double the amount of spinning, and when they get off, Declan has to stop for a minute with his hands on his knees while Jordan lovingly laughs at him.

She takes pity on him and they go on the ferris wheel next. They kiss when it stops when they’re at the top, which Declan knows is cliché as hell, but he’s certainly not complaining. He pulls back a little, his thumb gently brushing along her cheekbone.

“I made you a card,” he says, a little embarrassed. Jordan’s warm brown eyes go wide and pleased.

“Oh yeah?”

He pulls it out of his pocket and starts to hand it to her nervously. “It’s not very good.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” she says, taking it from him. She opens it and smiles when she sees the flower. “So pretty.”

“It’s called a Middlemist red camellia. It’s like the rarest flower in the world. Or so Google tells me.” He knows that Jordan will know why he specifically chose this flower. He’s telling her something about who she is to him. She won’t miss the significance of that.

She brings Declan’s hand to her lips and kisses it gently, before letting it go and looking at the card again. “I love camellia’s,” Jordan says, “but I’ve never seen this one before.” She opens the card and reads the message Declan wrote inside, a soft smile growing the more she reads.

Jordan sighs and holds the card to her chest with her eyes closed. When she opens them again, she says, “I made you a card, too.”

She pulls it out of her own coat pocket, and Declan opens it. On the front is a colour pencil drawing of him, perfect hair, non-smiling, boring suit, but with the fanciest shoes he has ever seen; a more exaggerated version of the ones he was wearing when he and Jordan first met.

Declan laughs in joyous surprise. “Your card is better than mine.”

“My card is funnier than yours,” she says. “It’s not better.”

“Thank you,” he says, earnestly, looking at the portrait and cracking up again. “I think...I think I’m gonna frame this.”

“You should. It’ll be worth a fortune some day.”

Of that, Declan has no doubt. “You wanna know a secret?”

“Absolutely.”

“I forgot it was Valentine’s Day.”

It’s Jordan’s turn to laugh, and she leans in to kiss Declan’s cheek. “I forgot, too. I didn’t realise until I went to grab a coffee and there were Valentine’s specials going on all over the place.”

“Ronan of all people reminded me. He drove up to surprise Adam at Cambridge.”

“Bless him, Ronan really is a gigantic softie.”

Declan grins. “Well he told me he thinks you’re cool. Too cool for me.”

“Aw, babe, he’s right!” Jordan says, laughing at his sad pout. “Unfortunately for me, I love you anyway.”

Declan shakes his head, smiling. “You’re a dick,” he says. “But I love you, too.”

The ferris wheel starts moving again, and when it stops, they go and try their hand at some games. Jordan comes out on top at ring tossing, duck hooking, the coconut shy, and the buzzwire, but Declan does pretty well at the mini laser quest and a balloon-popping darts game.

They end up at the shooting game stall, where you have to try and knock the cans over to win prizes. There’s a cute stuffed stegosaurus that Jordan has her eye on, and Declan pays for them both to have a go to try and win it.

They each manage to knock a couple of cans over, but there’s some that are way more stubborn and don’t seem to budge even when clearly hit.

“Another round,” Declan says when his go is finished. He sighs in frustration when the results are the same.

Jordan puts his hand on his arm. “You know these things are rigged, right? They’re weighted, it’s almost impossible to win the good prizes.”

The rational part of his brain understands this to be true. The monkey part wants the prize. “Yes, but it’s Valentine’s Day and I have to win you this stupid stegosaurus. My manly pride is at stake.”

Jordan snorts. “Well how about we take your manly pride to that stall over there and I’ll let you buy me a churro, I’m starving.”

“...Churros sound good.”

Jordan links her arm through Declans as they follow their noses over to the churro stall.

“I really would’ve won it with one more go,” Declan feels the need to say.

“Sure you would,” Jordan says easily. “Maybe later.”

“Fuck later, it’s freezing. You wanna come back to mine? I’ll make you a latte.”

Jordan grins up at him. “I thought you’d never ask. Churros first though.”

“Oh, that’s a given.”

[squirrel-moose-winchester]

Chapter 29

Title: Falling for the Holidays Ch. 29

Pairing: Dean x Reader AU

Word Count: 2215

Series Summary: With October ending and the holidays underway, that only meant one thing for Dean Winchester. It meant returning to his childhood home and spending time with his family. It meant listening to his parents, especially his mom, ramble on and on about when he was going to find himself a nice girl, bring her home for the holidays, and then eventually get married and have children.  However, Dean wasn’t ready for that sort of commitment, so in order to get his family off his back, he comes up with an elaborate scheme! But like the saying goes, “sometimes lies become truths.”

Warnings: SMUTTY goodness, Fluff, and a pinch of Crack :)

A/N: Here’s chapter 29! One more chapter and it’s finally all over! Thank you guys for being patient with me, and for sticking with me through my first series! You guys are amazing! Please enjoy the smutty goodness that I’ve written just for you!! xx

It’s only two days until New Years and Dean is doing much better. He’s still can’t do anything strenuous, but the Doctor says that he’s healing faster than suspected. On the phone, John gave credit to the Winchester genes. Whether he’s right or not, you can’t help but agree with him one hundred percent!

“Baby, c’mon. Quit teasing,” Dean groaned from the couch in your now shared apartment.

After the two of you returned to Dallas, Dean couldn’t really live alone, and it made no sense for you to keep going back and forth to your place and his, or for him to stay at your place where none of his things were, so one night, while snuggled up in his bed, he abruptly asked you to move in. Shocked at first, you eventually agreed. There was no way you could deny him and no way that you wanted to.

“But I’ve missed you. Work was so boring and all I could think about was being home with you,” you breathed into his neck, kissing, nipping, and licking. Dean grunted again, and as you peered downwards, elated to see the effects you were having on him. “Need a little help down there?” you asked, running your hand over his chest, down his torso, before stopping at the waistband of his sweatpants.

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” he huffed, breathing unevenly.

“Oh, I think it’s the opposite. Baby, I can make you feel alive. Only if you let me,” you cooed, pulling away and biting your bottom lip. Dean’s darkened eyes zeroed in on the soft, plump, flesh caught between your teeth.

“Fuck—”

“Want me to get you off with my mouth?” you asked hotly, “because I will. Just like last night and the night before.”

“You’re insatiable, you know that?” Dean growled, his reserve crumbling.

“Well Dean… I usually get what I want,” you grinned.

You were back to your old self, teasing, flirting, and doing things you knew that drove him crazy. He had witnessed you flirt with guys many times, easily wrapping them around your fingers, him being no exception. The only difference between them and Dean was that you weren’t doing it for the free drinks, and you were in love with him.

“Little minx.”

“Your little minx,” you winked before pressing a soft kiss on his lips. Dean didn’t hesitate to respond back, leaning into you with fervor. A moan managed to escape from you, and suddenly, you were on Dean’s lap, straddling him. “What do you think you’re doing?” You pulled away with a smug look on your face.

“Doctor said I couldn’t do any strenuous activities…”

“Yeah… and? What’s your point?” you teased, knowing exactly were he was going. You had used the same excuse the other night and the night before.

“If you did most of the work…” his eyes glinted with excitement.

A grin took over your lips. “Well, giddy up, Cowboy!”

You were about to slip off of his lap when his grip tightened around you. “No blow job… I want to feel you. I need to be inside you.”

“Dean… I don’t think that’s a good idea. I really don’t mind sucking you off. In fact, I love it,” you admitted for the hundredth time.

“I know, but I can’t take it anymore. I need you more than that.”

With your resolve ebbing into nonexistent, it didn’t take long until the two of you were bare, you bouncing on Dean’s dick, reveling in the feel of him filling you up so generously. You had missed the way he made you feel so impossibly full, his cock reaching heights no other man was capable of. The look on his face only drove you to work harder, loving the way his lips hung open as moans of pleasure spilled out continuously, and the way his eyes were shut tight, struggling to stay open so he could watch how your tight little pussy swallowed his endowed length.

“Fuck! Feels so good!” Dean grunted, hands sliding from your hips to your waist, urging you to move faster and hit harder, but all he got in return was you grabbing his wrists and pinning them to the couch on either side of his head.

“Nuh-uh. I’m in charge,” you smirked as his emerald orbs sparkled.

Leaning forwards, you wrapped your arms around his neck, whispering dirty nothings in his ear as you picked up the pace, practically twerking on his cock. Dean yelped in overly satisfaction and bliss.

“Fuck! That’s good shit!” He bellowed, voice vibrating through the entire apartment. A smirk graced you lips, thinking that there was no way the neighbors couldn’t hear how good you were fucking your boyfriend.

“Can you feel that baby? How wet you make me? Maybe I should ride you like this more often. Take charge and have you at my mercy. What do you think of that?” You whispered in his ear, your hot breath sending wave after wave of goosebumps to erupt across his skin.

“Oh, Sweetheart. As tempting as that sounds, this is just a one-time thing until I’m all healed up. Once I’m back to tip top shape, that’s where I intend to stay – on top. The only time you’ll be riding me again is under my instructions, you understand me?” He asked, the gravel in his voice making your pussy clench around his cock. “Fuck—” Dean moaned, head falling back against the sofa.

“Then I guess I better make the best of my time,” you breathed with desperation, grinding yourself down flush on his lap, rotating your hips in a circular motion. A loud moan tears from his throat and you can’t help but feel delighted at how much you could drive him crazy, and obviously vice versa.

You continued to gyrate against him, noticing the rapid rise and fall of his chest. He was close, and so were you. “Fuck!” He cursed again. “So fucking tight. You gonna come for me, baby?” Dean asks through struggled breaths.

“Mhmm,” was all you could say as you caught your bottom lip between your teeth, biting down hard enough for it to sting.

“Come with me, Sweetheart. I need you to come with me.”

Nodding, you started bouncing on him again, desperate and uneven. Dean managed to thrust his hips upwards making you scream as he hit that perfect spot. Pleased with the reaction he drew from you, he continued to thrust his hips upwards, driving you to the edge of pleasure.

“Dean!” You shrieked, trying to speak, but the sensation was too much. “No s-stren-uous work,” you finally managed to get out.

“It doesn’t hurt,” he grunts, hands tightening around your hips again, trying to keep you steady as he hammered upwards into you. It didn’t take long until you were both howling in euphoria, breaths short and frantic. Your body leaned into his as his arms completely wrapped themselves around your bare back.

“How are you feeling?” You finally questioned.

“Amazing–” he replies. “So fucking amazing.”

You let out a soft chuckle before planting a lingering kiss on his lips and lifting yourself from his lap and dislodging his softening cock from your sensitive pussy. You both moan in tandem before landing beside him.

“We need to get ready,” you reminded. “Your mom will give you an earful if we’re late.”

Dean groaned in response. “But I want to just stay here with you and have sex all day and night long.”

You giggle at his words and shook your head. “C’mon you cripple. Let’s get ready.”

“Cripple? Can a cripple make you come like I did just a minute ago? I don’t think so!”

Laughter slipped your lips again. “Well, I did most of the work!”

“Whatever,” he grumbles and you just laugh, making your way towards the bathroom.

By the time you and Dean left, you in the driver’s seat, you were making perfect timing. It was the day before New Years Eve, and Mary was adamant that the two of you return to Kansas to celebrate. They had offered to come to Dallas since Dean was still healing, but there wasn’t enough room at the apartment, and there was no use in wasting money at a hotel when they could just drive over to Kansas and all stay at the house. It made more sense and it was much more practical.

You were singing along to Bob Seger’s, Old Time Rock and Roll, when you heard soft snoring. Glancing beside you, Dean was knocked out, seat reclined back and mouth hanging open. You remembered seeing a photo he had taken of Sam a few years back on his phone.

During a brotherly summer road trip one summer, Sam had fallen asleep in the passenger side, and Dean, being the typical big brother that he was, shoved a spoon into Sam’s mouth and snapped a picture. With that in mind, you figured, why not give him a taste of his own medicine? Besides, you knew Sam would really appreciate it.

Giggling, you reached over for the used spoon from the ice cream the two of you had stopped to buy in the spur of the moment. With the spoon in hand, you reached over for you phone sitting in one of the cup holders between the driver and passenger seat. With steady hands and constant glimpses towards the road, you carefully placed the spoon in Dean’s mouth. Struggling to keep your laughter at bay, you managed to snap a decent picture before sending it to Sam.

To: Sammy *Image* You’re welcome!

Returning your phone back to it’s previous abode, you sang obnoxiously loud, “I like that old time rock and roll!”

Dean leaped from his seat, spitting the spoon out then wincing in pain. You burst into laughter, while trying to apologize and ask if he was okay, even though you already knew that he was. “Y/N!” He drawled, sounding a little disgruntled and annoyed.

“I’m sorry. I really am, but I couldn’t resist. Besides, I didn’t think you were going to react so enthusiastically,” you giggled. “I really am sorry.”

“You’re lucky I love you,” he grumbled.

“I know I am,” you smiled.

Finally entering the state of Kansas, your phone dinged. Without tearing your eyes away from the road, you took hold of your phone, peeking at the screen to see that Sam returned your text, after forty-five minutes. Scanning your fingerprint over the home button of your communication device, you read the text.

From: Sammy This is awesome! You’re awesome! *6 cry-laughing emojis*

Pleased with the response you received, you locked your phone back and dropped it into the cup holder. “Who was that?” Dean inquired, eyes still casted out the window, taking in the familiarity of the state he grew up in.

“Sam. He’s excited to see us.”

Dean scoffs, shifting to grab his phone from his back pocket. He scoffs again. “Bitch didn’t text me…” he humph – adorably – if you may add.

“Well, I actually texted him first.”

“Why?”

“Just giving them a heads up that we’re almost there,” you lie.

“When did you do that? I didn’t notice,” he finally looks at you curiously.

“I did it while you were zoning out the window, like a loon. I thought you were shot in the stomach, not the head,” you chuckle.

“Ha-ha. Already making jokes, huh? Laugh it up baby, because you’re gonna get it,” he warns, unable to keep a straight face.

Finally, the Winchester house came into view, and by the time you were parking the truck, Mary was already out the door, swinging your door open before you turned off the ignition. “Y/N!” She squealed, yanking you out of the truck and into her arms. “I’m so happy you guys are here!”

“Hey, mom. Injured son over here. You know, your flesh and blood. Nice to see you too,” Dean joked, trying to seem emotionally devastated.

“Oh, my sweet boy. You were always the jealous type. My mama’s boy,” she teased back, filling Dean’s cheeks with a tint of red.”

“Gee mom, not in front of my girl,” he rolls his eyes, but you all fall into giggles.

“Oh, please. Well, my little piggy made it just in time for dinner,” Mary cooed, pinching Dean’s cheeks in order to further humiliate him. You couldn’t help but giggle along with Mary as Dean groaned. “C’mon, John, Sam, and Jess is setting everything up as we speak. You can take your bags in later.”

With quick formalities, dinner had gone by fast. It was filled with easy conversation, laughter, jokes, and eventually, the picture you had taken of Dean sleeping on the way to Kansas had come up, thanks to Sam’s inability to keep secrets. Sam laughed to tears as Dean grumbled at you and him, declaring that the two of you delete the picture. It was great.

When bedtime finally came, Sam and John helped you bring the bags in, while Mary helped Dean up the stairs, even if he didn’t need it. As Sam set your bags into the bedroom, you thanked both Winchesters and bid them goodnight.

“Delete that picture,” Dean commanded from the bed.

“Never,” you replied, sending him a wink.

--

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Say Something Nice Here!

[lycorogue]

Marinette’s Song: Chapter 2

You can read Chapter 1 here.

UPDATE (2/15/20): You can also now find this story over on AO3, on FFN, and on DA.

Summary: Whenever Luka creates music it affects people. He can’t handle having to hide his music anymore, and so he goes to the Tom & Sabine Charms and Potions shop for some help. Can Marinette’s witchcraft allow Luka to finally share his music with the world? Witch and Mythological Magic AU

Rating: General Audiences

Words: 10,943 Words This Chapter: 1324

Status: Completed; 7 chapters

Disclaimer: I wanted to anchor Marinette’s magic in Wiccan as opposed to “Hollywood witchcraft”, but I’m Christian. I tried to do my research, but I also know I’m taking a lot of creative liberties. If you notice any glaring misrepresentation of Wiccan, please let me know.

Luka regretted leaving his bike behind about four blocks into his run. He only managed to spur himself forward with the promise of two things: finding a way to dampen his power, and the prospect of seeing Marinette. She was one of Juleka's friends and classmates. A sweet girl that always treated his sister with kindness and appreciation. It kept Luka quite some time to officially meet her, due to the awkwardness even two years age difference caused when one was young. Once he did though?

His fingers twitched as if he were playing strings on his guitar. He concentrated on his breathing, pushing himself to run faster; fast enough that he had no spare breath to hum, no matter how many notes sang in his head whenever he thought of Marinette.

Focus on a solution instead, he reminded himself. Any way to suppress this curse has to be priority.

It kept him nearly ten minutes, but soon the Place des Vosges came into view. Shortly after, the little charm shop at the end of the encasing terrace houses peeked out from behind the park fence. Tom & Sabine's Charms and Potions was probably the greatest magical establishment in all of Paris. The greatest one Luka knew of, anyway. It was pure luck that it happened to also be owned and run by Marinette's parents.

Either that, or perhaps Fate?

He skidded to a stop in front of the store's door, bracing himself against his knees as he took in a few panting breathes. Slowly raising his head, he looked through the glass storefront, and his lungs stilled. Leaning on the check-out counter as she doodled was Marinette, oblivious of Luka watching her from just outside her family's store.

She leaned heavily on her left arm, propping her head up as her right hand scribbled in a fury across the paper before her. The rest of the store was still. Even Marinette herself was like a statue, her eyes already so heavy lidded Luka barely noticed her blinking. Her hand, though, never paused as it danced across its canvas.

Luka no longer knew if his heart was pounding from his run, or from watching Marinette. His throat still burned, but his breathing evened out; mostly because it was hard to re-catch it. Notes buzzed loudly in his mind, frantically scrambling into the perfect formation to play out the aura that shone from Marinette. His fingers again twitched on their own as they bent to the guitar chords best fitting the melody singing inside him.

He needed to hear it; to make sure it truly was Marinette's music serenading him. Despite the fire smoldering behind his Adam's Apple, Luka softly hummed his Ballad of Marinette. It wasn't quite right, but the proper base was there. It was plucky, a little clumsy, but somehow moved gracefully, as if the clumsy bits were on purpose. It was strong, with powerful notes hummed loudly, but also held meek movements that were soft and sweet. It was simple enough to hum, but would be so much better once the true complexity could be played on his guitar.

Luka desperately wanted Marinette to hear it; to know how he saw her, and what he thought of her.

Behind him, a couple of kids squealed with delight as they sprinted down the sidewalk towards the park. There was the quickened pounding of their little feet, the high-pitched chime of their tiny laughs, and then the loud screech of tires skidding to a stop.

Luka whipped to his left. A car was partially in the intersection separating the little charms store and the park, barely stopped a meter from the four children who were carelessly still laughing as they played tag in the street. They didn't seem to even notice the car, despite the driver's window now down so she could shout at their obliviousness. The children ignored her, too drunk on the joy Luka poured into the world with his song.

Burning from guilt, Luka stumbled his way into the store, ringing the single bell that hung above the entrance.

“Luka?” Marinette was already on her feet, racing towards one of the store's side windows. “Is everything okay out there? I heard the car-”

“The kids are fine.” He wasn't sure if he was informing Marinette or reminding himself.

She pressed a hand to her heart, heaving out a sigh with closed eyes. “That's good to- Luka? Are you okay?” She jogged to his side, and rested a hand on his chest. Her eyebrows knitted together as her eyes scanned him. “You're shaking, and you look pale. The car didn't almost hit you, did it?”

“No, I-” His fingers twitched once more, so he calmed them by wrapping them around Marinette's hand. A soft blush stained her cheeks, and the world became alright again. “I'm better now that I've had a chance to talk to you,” he cooed.

Marinette whipped her hand away and took a step back, her blush deepening as she broke eye contact. A hint of a smile teased at her lips, and her arm jerked towards her ear so she could play with her crimson studded earring.

Luka didn't bother fighting against the smile stretching across his own face. He kept his distance though, not wanting to rattle her any further.

Marinette cleared her throat, and shook her head to help clear that too. “Good. I'm glad you're okay. Is- Was that why you came here? To, uh, to talk to me?”

Luka's smile vanished. “Actually, no. Well, maybe yes? I was looking for something that would negate hereditary magic, and I hoped you might be able to help.”

“Hereditary magic?” Marinette's eyes grew wider each time she frantically blinked at him. “You have hereditary magic?”

Luka nodded.

“Juleka too?”

Nod.

“Your mom? Or was it inherited from your dad's side? Oh!” Marinette slammed both hands into her mouth to shut herself up. Slowly lowering her hands back down so her lips were just barely visible, she softly spoke. “S-sorry. I know you two don't really talk about him. I didn't mean to bring up a sore subject, I just-”

Luka held up a hand to stop her apologizing. “It's alright. I know you need to know so you can better find a solution for me. It's alright. I'm not offended. Truth is, we're not entirely sure who we inherited it from. My mom seems to know a lot about it, but doesn't have our power. So we're not sure if it came from our dad, or if it just skipped a generation. Maybe both parents had really thin bloodlines, but combined it was enough for a power resurgence?”

“Like a non-dominant gene activating? Yeah, I can see that being possible. Come in, let's figure this out.” Marinette started walking towards the back of the little shop and wove for him to follow. She laced around the check-out counter and snaked towards the back room. Luka stopped at the register, assuming she had to fetch something and then return.

While he waited, he took in the doodle Marinette was so fixated on a few minutes before. It was a cocktail dress design: thin straps, squared neckline, and close-fitted bodice that then flared at the hips. The design also had sleeve fingerless-gloves that attached at the middle fingers, and matching thigh-high stockings. Also included were designs for round-toe heels and a headband with flowers and a ribbon bow down the one side. Luka admired the skill Marinette had in design, and pictured her wearing the outfit. Maybe on a date.

Realizing Luka wasn't behind her, Marinette jogged back, and grabbed his hand to tug him behind the counter. Her hand never left his as she led him through the dark curtain separating the back room from the rest of the store.

And the whole time, Luka's heart belted out Marinette's song.

Read Chapter 3

@discoveringmiraculouswriters​

[to-the-person-who-broke-me]

Why???

As we live every day, we thought that we are so healthy because we don’t feel that we are sick. am I right?? But let me tell you my story. when I was young, I was so energetic, hyper, always dancing and playing. I never thought that 1 day some of these diseases will come out one by one. why did I say one by one?? Is it too many for a person who never felt pain or any of it before??? Yes, maybe we can say that almost of the diseases in our family’s gene had been passed to me.

           The first disease that has been diagnosed to me was “SCOLIOSIS” many people nowadays knows it, but do you have knowledge about it?? Some people are judging those who have it especially when the person fall in line on a PWD lane their eyes are telling “bakit sya nakapila doon?? Di naman sya pilay, di naman sya mukhang pwd” I was bothered when I read this from one of the person on our group on FB I am ashamed of those people that think being PWD should always be obvious physically because I was planning to get a PWD card so I don’t have to fall in line for hours or just for minutes specially at supermarkets. You know it really hurts to have this disease specially my curve is on the lower back. There are many types of SCOLIOSIS, I was diagnosed with THORACIC DEXTROSCOLIOSIS the curve is bending on the right because “dextro” means right while thoracic means something about the “thorax” and thorax is somewhere located at the waist. too cold temperature makes the pain worst, hard back of a chair makes the pain worst, unalleviated chair or anything that we can sit on makes the pain worst. sometimes you can see me slouching because it’s hard to sit on a straight back for a couple of hours. Is there any cure??? Yes, there is when it gets severe I can ask for operation, does it cost much?? Yes, it is that’s why somehow I’m preventing it to get worst. They said I can take therapy but it also cost much, “why don’t you just wear a brace??” Do you know how much it cost??? It cost 5000-10000 USD and I might not be comfortable wearing it especially when I’m working. So I hope you’ll understand when I can’t carry heavy things to help you. Back then when I’m in high school my classmates always telling me “mag straight back ka kasi” If alam lang nila I really want to but it hurts so much when I try that’s why I’m always kuba or ukos in Kapampangan. My shoulders are not even but as I grew older I managed to straighten it little by little, my shoulders kind of good right now and I can straighten my back for a couple of hours but the pain still there specially when it’s too cold, it’s hard to sleep.

           The second disease that was diagnosed to me was MVP (mitral valve prolapse) and attached to this, I also have hyperthyroidism that’s why if you can see my neck or throat is a little bit bulky in front likes I have an adam’s apple before I thought maybe it’s just because I am thin but I’m wrong. What is MVP?? MVP means that one of the valve in your heart is leaking or it’s not working/pumping properly. In my case the left valve is the one leaking because of it my heart can’t pump blood properly through my body that’s why I seem like I am an anemic person but I’m not. Also because of it my heart beats fast and somehow my hyperthyroidism is contributing to its fast beating too. What is the normal heart rate of a person?? 60-80 bpm right?? Mine was 100-120 bpm that’s my normal heart rate EVERYDAY from the moment I wake up until I close my eyes to sleep. Palpitation is part of my everyday life. May mga bawal ba saken na kainin or gawin?? Yes, there is di ako pwede sa mga foods na may caffeine like coffee, coffee flavoured food mapa candy or biscuits or pastry man yan even mocha and cappuccino flavored food which I really love It’s my fave. When it’s all start?? The doctor said that it was inborn so it means since when I came out to this world meron nako. Buti ngayon mo lang nalaman? Di ko din alam kasi back then mahilig pa kong sumali sa mga activities sa school like dancing I really love dancing pero ngayon I can’t barely do it. Lagi pa ko sumasali ng mga cheerdance and I also dance pag may mga program. Active din ako sa mga activities sa PE subject naming like playing some street games mahilig pa kami nun tumakbo around the campus nararamdaman ko yung pagod pero hindi ko nararamdaman na may problem ako sa heart. Nung nagcollege ako mahilig pa din ako sumali sa mga activities lalo na PE puro sayaw halos araw araw yung practice nun pero wala pa rin akong nafeel na may problema saken until naggraduate ako and nagkawork na. I work as a call center agent before and dun nagtrigger yun heart disease ko pero bago yun nakasali pa ko sa flash mob site competition nun halos sobrang pagod din yung gabi kayo nagpapractice hanggang umaga siguro naabuse ko yung sarili ko but you can’t blame me because I didn’t even know I have it, if alam ko lang from the start na meron ako sana naalagaan ko yung sarili ko di ko na sana pinagod yung sarili sa mga activities noon. It all start nung isang araw na uminom ako ng kape. Mahilig ako sa coffee honestly it doesn’t matter if it is hot or cold basta feel ko uminom ng kape iinom ako until one day that change my life and stop me from drinking it. Off ko nun and then I made some ice cold coffee kasi super init noon. When I already finished my cup I felt na para akong magkocollapse so humiga muna ako kasi baka dahil kulang ako sa tulog or stress lang sa work I slept for an hour and nung tumayo ako ganun pa din nararamdaman ko hinayaan ko nalang the next day okay na ko nakapasok nako ng work. While taking a call siguro mga 2am na yun nafeel ko na nahihirapan ako huminga and medyo nahihilo ako so I asked my coach to take the call for me since hindi maganda pakiramdam ko. The next day di ako pumasok para makapagpahinga ako bago ako magpacheck up. So yun the next day after pumunta nakami ng doctor pinag run nya ko ng mga labtest ECG, TSH and 2D ECHO wag nyo na itanong magkano mga yan kasi mahal talaga mga labtest para sa heart. So when the result came out ayun nadiagnosed ako na meron akong Cardiac dysrythmmias; Stable agina r/o Hyperthyroidism or MVP. I already prayed na sana wala or maging negative na stressed lang ko or pagod pero wala ganun talaga maybe I’m destined to have it. The doctor said na hindi dapat ako mastress and mapagod, when I heard of it na may MVP ako and after nya inexplain na dapat habang di pa malala yung leak ng valve is makapagpaopera nako kasi pag naging severe na di nako makakapagwork wala nakong magagawa sa buhay ko. The doctor said that they need to repair the valve inside they will replace it with a new one but the chances is 50/50 because it’s an open heart surgery nung narinig ko yun natakot ako kasi open heart imagine bubuksan nila yung heart mo so machine lang muna yung magpapabuhay sayo while they are operating and it will also cost half a million. Saan naman kami kukuha ng ganung kalaking halaga ng pera di ba? Di naman kami ganun kayaman and usually sa mga health insurance ng mga company di nila kinecredit yung inborn diseases. I felt that my world fell apart at that moment until we decided to go home binigyan nalang ako ni doc ng mga maintenance medicine na until now tinetake ko. This medicine will prevent my heart for somehow getting worst. Nakakainis lang yung mga tao na pag sinabihan ko na wag ako gugulatin or pag uminom ako ng kape is mamatay ako tatawanan lang like I was just joking for them OA ba pakinggan?? But that’s the truth. It’s so hard to have this kasi anytime pwede ka madeads specially pag sumobra pagod or sobrang init. That’s why as much as possible iniiwasan ko lahat ng yan but still I can go out and I can still travel by myself. But not until one day, one day that will stop me from commuting by myself.

           A disease that will make my normal life complicated. When this occur di nako sa callcenter nagwowork, sa isang logistic company nako nagwowork nung nangyari saken, yung para saken pinaka nakakadown na sakit na nagkaroon ako. I love music so much yung tipong kahit saan ako pumunta lagi akong nakaheadset. Headset on volume louder, music is my escape from the real world. I feel so energetic kapag nakikinig ako ng music while working with my headset on bakit ko ‘to sinasabi anong connect sa susunod na madadiagnosed saken?? Malaki, kasi after ako madiagnose nito di nako pwede magheadset or di na ako pwede makinig ng mga malalakas na music specially yung malalakas ang bass or kahit maingay lang bawal. On that day, morning shift ako 8am pasok ko nun so tulad ng lagi kong ginagawa araw araw pag sakay ko ng trike nagheheadset nako while riding a tricycle I felt dizzy all of a sudden pero di ko pinansin sandali lang kasi mga 2secs lang so tumuloy padin akong magtravel papuntang work nung bumaba nako sa harap ng Jollibee sa Dau yung after ng samsonville, habang nag aabang ako ng jeep papuntang maingate biglang umikot paningin ko nakaheadset pako nun di ko pa tinanggal ayaw tumigil ng pag ikot ng paningin ko wala pa naman tao dun at that time akala ko mamatay nako napaupo nako sa sahig habang nakakapit ako sa fence ng tree nasugat pa nga ako nun sa sobrang kapit hanggang may 2 students na dumaan nilapitan ako at nilalakad nila ako papasok ng Jollibee binigyan ako ng tubig ng crew medyo nahimasmasan ako nun wala pa naman akong load at that time kaya di ko alam pano ko kokontakin parents ko or yung office namin buti nalang pinahiram ako ng cellphone nung mga tumulong saken una kong tinawagan yung TL ko sinabi ko yung sitwasyon ko at di ako makakapasok after nun kinontak ko na tatay ko nagpeprepare sya nun papuntang work nagpapasundo ako sakanya kasi talagang di ko kayang umuwing mag isa nakiusap sya dun sa kapitbahay naming na tricycle driver na sunduin ako sa Jollibee and then nung nakauwi nako humiga agad ako at nagpahinga kasi baka kulang lang ako sa tulog pero as the days goes by ganun pa din nangyayari saken paulit ulit 1week akong di nakapasok sa work so nagdecide nakong magpacheck up nanaman inexplain ko sa doctor yung nangyari saken tapos nagrun sya ng mga physical test sabi nya may Menieres disease ako nagkocause nito is yung too much loud noise after nun pumunta din ako sa EET meron din daw akong Positional vertigo kaya pag natutulog ako di ko kaya humiga sa right lagi akong nahihilo o diba dalawa agad. Nagkocause din daw toh ng sudden deaf or nagiging mahina yung pandinig ng isang tao kaya pala minsan kahit malapit na yung taong nagsasalita or kumakausap saken hindi ko sya maintindihan hanggang ngayon ganito ako kaya pag nagsasalita ako parang lagi akong galit sabi nga nila, kasi minsan di ko marinig ng maayos yung sarili ko at nasanay nadin siguro ako ganun magsalita so sorry po if akala nyo lagi akong galit. Please just understand me.

           Back then I thought na napakamalas kong tao kasi isipin mo daming nadiagnosed saken it came to the point na nadepress ako at nagkaanxiety dahil sa mga ‘to. Sino ba naman kasi ang mag aakala na sa liit ng katawan na ‘to daming sakit ang naglabasan. Minsan natatanong ko kay GOD bakit ako?? Bakit ako pa yung kailangan magkaroon ng maraming sakit masama ba kong tao?? And then I will cry so hard alam mo yung umiiyak ka ng walang boses super sakit nun sa dibdib. Halos gabi gabi ako umiiyak noon kasi lagi ko naiisip di nako mabubuhay ng normal di ko na magagawa yung mga gusto kong gawin or yung mga dati kong ginagawa. Di nako lumalabas samin or pumupunta kahit saan. Di nako makapagcommute lagi nalang akong nakaservice until now kasi andyan padin vertigo ko di parin nawawala yung pag gising mo pa lang hilo ka na hanggang sa pagpasok mo sa work hanggang sa pag uwi ko buti nga nakakaya ko pa pumasok kung di lang siguro ako nakaservice di nako makakapagtrabaho ang hirap sobrang hirap ng pinagdadaana ko araw araw yung feeling na gumigising at nagtatrabaho ka nalang para lang mabuhay araw araw. Dumating din ako sa point ng buhay ko na gusto ko ng mamatay yung hinihiling ko na kay GOD na kunin na nya ko kasi di ko na kaya hirap na hirap nako. Minsan din pag mag isa ako naiisip ko magpakamatay tapos magpepray nalang ako kay GOD nun na bigyan nya pa ko ng lakas ng loob para mabuhay. Walang may alam ng pinagdadaanan ko noon kung hindi ako lang kalian lang naman ako nag open up sa mga kaibigan at few family members pero di ko lahat nasasabi sakanila kasi baka di rin nila ako maintindihan dami kasing taong akala nila alam nila lahat yung nangyayari sayo even though wala naman talaga silang alam. Before you tell me anything please fill in my shoes first so alam nyo kung bakit mas pinili ko yung buhay na ganito kaysa gawin yung mga bagay na sinasabi nyo. Yung iba laging tinatanong bakit di kana gumagala? Bakit di mo kasi try magcommute ulit?? Bakit wala ka ng social life?? Bakit mo kasi inaalagaan sakit mo?? Bakit di mo try mag exercise?? Bakit di mo ienjoy yung buhay mo, alam mo yung YOLO?? Sinanay mo kasi sarili mo di nagkocommute. At pinakaworse at pinaka ayoko na sinasabi nila “nasa isip mo lang yan, wag mo kasi masyadong isipin”. Sinasabi ko sa sarili ko kung nasa isip ko lang ‘to edi sana wala na napaka strong ng mind ko high yung tolerance ko sa pain madalang lang ako uminom ng painkillers kasi sineset ko sa mind ko na mawawala din yung sakit o diba edi kung nasa isip ko lang yung mga sakit edi sana magaling nako. Pero hindi e di naman ganun kadali yun specially pag dumadating yung depression sayo lahat ng tao alam ang depression pero di sila knowledgeable tungkol dito ang alam lang nila sakit sa utak pag nadedepress ka nababaliw ka or tulad ng sinabi ko kanina nasa isip lang. pag sinabihan mo yung tao ng ganyan tapos ganito yung pinagdaanan nya sa buhay at pinagdadaanan pa di mo sya natutulungan lalo mo syang dinadown tulad nung mga taong nagsasabi saken ng mga ganun akala nyo ba natutulungan nyo ko pag sinasabi nyo mga yan saken?? Hindi, bumababa selfesteem ko pag nakakarinig ako nyan yung minsan naghohold ako ng grudges sa mga taong nagsasabi nyan yung minsan gusto ko magwala, yung gusto kong manuntok ng tao at ibuhos lahat sakanya alam nyo yung feeling na ganun. Mas pinili ko yung buhay na ganito kasi wala akong napeperwisyong tao, ayoko manira ng mga happy moments kaya di ako sumasamang lumalabas, mas gusto kong sa bahay lang mas kumportable ako mas kalmado ako di ko naiisip na magiging pabigat lang ako sa mga tao pag sumama ako lumabas. Mas masaya nako ng ganito lumalabas naman ako pag family gathering kaya okay na saken yun, yung mga kaibigan ko alam naman din nila na di nako mahilig lumabas kaya dito nalang din kami sa bahay nagkikita kita. Akala ko after ng vertigo ko tapos na yung wala ng dadagdag pa, kung kalian nakakamove on nako at medyo di na din ako sinusumpong ng depression may lumitaw nanamang bago.

           November 12, 2016 first operation ko nadiagnosed ako na may Ovarian cyst at this time tinry ko maging strong. Nung sinabi ni doktora na as much as possible need kong maopera para matanggal yung cyst kasi pag di daw natanggal kaagad yung lalo dodoble daw yung sakit and worst is magbuburst sya sa loob at maiinfection yung dugo ko. So I decided right away na maoperahan ako. Inasikaso ko lahat ng mga documents na kailangan buti nalang yung health insurance ng company namin kinocover nila yung ganitong operation maswerte ako kasi di ko kailangan maglabas ng malaking halaga which is wala naman kami. So after ko na mabigay yung documents na kailangan pinaglabtest nako ni doktora naubos yung ipon ko sa mga labtest pero okay lang atleast di gumastos yung parents ko galing lahat sa sarili kong bulsa. Ayoko na din kasi maging burden sakanila lalo na wala ng work si papa nun. Sabi nga nila nag iipon daw ako para lang may pambayad ako sa mga ganito para saken okay lang naman atleast ready ka di ka na mamomroblema kung san kukuha ng panggastos di ba? So yun after ng mga labtest at makakuha ng mga clearances sa doctor ko sa heart. Naoperahan nako, sabi nga ni doktora napakatapang ko daw kasi as in ako lang mag isa lahat nag ayos para lang maoperahan ako di namroblema yung parents ko saken. 5 days ako sa hospital after nun nakauwi nakami 2 moths ako di nakapagwork pero okay lang kasi bayad naman. So nung naging okay nako nakakatayo nako mag isa and every day thankful ako kasi mabilis yung naging recovery ko from the operation. As the days goes by I tried to be strong and tough ayoko kasi ipakita sa mga tao na nahihirapan ako na deep inside down na down ako at umiiyak. As much as possible tinatawa ko nalang para di ko maisip yung mga pinagdaanan ko at pinagdadaanan pa. Pag nga tinatanong ako ng “may sakit ka ba?? Bat ang tahimik mo??” nasasagot ko nalang matagal na matagal nakong may sakit. I’ve never been okay kahit minsan sinasabi ko na okay lang ako because at the end of the day pag mag isa nalang ako at wala nakong kausap pumapasok lahat sa isip ko yung mga pinagdadaanan ko minsan di ko mapigilan mag overthink at umiyak lalo na pag naalala ko yung mga bagay na nagagawa ko dati at kapag yung mga taong nagsasabi saken ng mga negative words tulad ng mga binanggit ko kanina naiiyak ako kasi di ko naman ginusto maging ganito e. sino ba naman may gustong magkaroon ng maraming sakit di ba?? Wala, walang may gusto. Gusto ko ulit mabuhay ng normal but this is the best thing that I can do to prevent any of these diseases getting worst. I hope after reading this you will fully understand me and what I’ve been through all my life di kami mayaman kaya iniiwasan kong mahospital. Don’t tell me that YOLO thing, kasi iba yung meaning nyan sa ibang tao para sakanila minsan lang tayo mabubuhay kaya dapat gawin natin lahat ng gusto nating gawin mamamatay din naman tayo for me di ganun ang YOLO yes you can do anything you want but with precautions kailangan mo padin iconsiderate yung health mo, ou magagawa mo yung gusto mo pano kung after nun may mangyari sayo o sasabihin mo “okay lang atleast nagawa ko yung gusto kong gawin” kahit na mag alala yung parents mo sayo?? Kahit dahil doon papahirapan mo pa yung parents mo di sila makakatulog ng maayos gabi gabi dahil sa kakaisip sa nangyari sayo?? O baka sabihin nyo negative thinker ako telling you this doesn’t mean na pessimist ako. We only live once nga di ba so isang beses lang tayo mabubuhay why don’t we just took care of ourselves and stop being burden to our parents or to other people mas maganda ng ikaw lang ang mahirapan at wag na ang parents mo. Para pag may nangyari sayo wala kang sisihing iba. Ganun na ako mag isip ngayon selfish man pakinggan pero that’s the best thing that I can do. Ayoko ng may mga tao pang mahirapan dahil saken or dahil sa kalagayan ko. Sana intindihin nyo lang ako instead of saying words that bringing me down dapat encouraging words yung mga sinasabi nyo at hindi mga ganun. You should help me put my self-esteem high not pushing me down. Yun lang naman yung reason bakit ko ‘to pinublish para bigyan kayo ng knowledge about my diseases kasi alam ko madami dyan yung akala nila alam nila lahat pero hindi, na para sakanila ordinary lang yung mga sakit ko na hindi naman kadepress depress na pwede ko padin gawin yung mga ginagawa ko dati. I hope this will open your mind na hindi lahat ng para sainyo is okay e okay din sa iba. Yun lang po salamat :)

[cinenthusiast]

WARNING: The following contains heavy semantics. This is the equivalent of letterboxd users breaking down their dumb rating systems. OK, not as bad, but still! You have been warned!

I’m starting a new (and final) iteration of something I’ve done my whole life. A single list of my 50 Favorite Actors, covering the full scope of era and gender. I’ll make a new one from scratch each year as a kind of record. 50 doesn’t leave too much room for sudden or drastic evolution, but the long game is what I’m playing at.

All of my old lists (of any kind) used to be ranked. Frankly, fuck that. I’m all for ranking within narrow frameworks (Top Ten By Year, etc) but general lists like favorite actors and movies? Why do it? Numbers make the whole thing an arbitrary assessment, isolating the actors and films into a misguided hierarchy that doesn’t add any insight or clarity. Lists and rankings are such an oversaturated aspect of culture content as it is, and I’d like to avoid this feeling like just another ranking. The collective group is the thing, the totality of taste, interest, and meaning. Keeping this a singular entity (with one or two caveats) preserves this as a personal journal entry of sorts, a snapshot and not the end-all be-all. It’s a way of capturing my taste in film and the people in it. I’ve put a star next to my ten favorites, and I’ve got a separate long list of people I considered but ultimately didn’t add, and that’s the extent of it.

Growing up, I made favorite actor lists obsessively. When I was around six or seven I would play ‘School’. I was the teacher. My students? The likes of Tony Danza, Christopher Lloyd, Danny DeVito, and John Travolta. I had pages and pages of any actor whose name I knew (the entire casts of Angels in the Outfield and Addams Family Values were represented). I took very careful attendance to make sure everyone was present, calling out each name and imagining that yes, they were there. Each actor received a little check in their row of squares (I made sure I had the checkered graph paper to keep everything orderly and precise).

age 11

all of these were made at age 11

Then there were the dark days, the days when tween Katie made lists like Top Ten ‘Cutie-Patootie’ Actors (a reference to the Rosie O’Donnell Show, yes, the Rosie O’Donnell Show, seen above). As you can see, the kid from Dennis the Menace topped that one. I also had my constantly revised Top Ten Favorite Actors & Actresses. Five actors from the lists pictured above are also on this current one: Nicole Kidman, Jim Carrey, Winona Ryder, John Travolta, and Michelle Pfeiffer. They were major icons for me then, and they remain so now, 20 years after the fact. They are forever favorites.

the four quadrants, from 2006 (age 18)

What followed were continuously updated versions of this, covering half my lifetime: Top Blank (at varying points it was 20, 30, and 50) Modern Actors, Modern Actresses, Classic Actors, and Classic Actresses (‘Classic’ accounted for the Hollywood studio era). They were always divided into those four quadrants. I can timestamp the years by who was on them. Simon Pegg at the top? Must be 2008. Katee Sackhoff near the top? I must have been watching “Battlestar Galactica” then. You can find the 2012 versions on this site: here and here.

These categories created considerable grey area, swaths of actors that never really fit comfortably in their group. Those who either featured in films from both eras (Jack Lemmon) or were technically of the ‘Modern’ era but with careers that didn’t really transition into the current (Faye Dunaway). And those ‘Modern’ lists were always much more about the now. I never made room for these actors who qualified as ‘Modern’ but who could be pinpointed to the past. I wanted to feature the up-and-coming, people whose careers I was excited about now! Filmographies I could follow along with as they progressed.

This factor, which meant so much to me then, means nothing re: this new list. For one, I don’t follow current stuff to the degree I used to. 21st century film is less interesting to me (current TV far less so). But I’m really fond of a lot of actors working today, from relative newcomers to tried-and-true character actors to cemented A-listers. The group there was no room for, not by a long shot, were the relative newcomers. I’m an easy lay when it comes to loving actors. But with over a century of performers to choose from, it doesn’t leave much room for the young “oooh I love him/her/them, I can’t wait to see what they do next” ones.

But for the record, the fresher (2010 to present) faces that I’m most invested in are Adam Driver, Elizabeth Debicki, Tom Hardy, Lakeith Stanfield, Kristen Stewart, Jesse Plemons, Nicholas Hoult, and Jonah Hill (whose career trajectory I’m endlessly intrigued by, a man funnier than most of his peers, with the unstable depths of a Chris Penn, whose hyper-sensitivity about being taken seriously and joining the ranks of the prestigious show up on the screen).

The old lists, especially the 50-each ones that totaled to 200 actors, were actually more challenging than this list. Because with so much room, you’re fooled into thinking everyone can be represented. But they can’t; even those lists fill up quick. And now, with just 50 total, it gets down to essentials. There are the favorites, and then the ones who matter most. Oh, I love them? Cool, next! Oh, I love them a lot? Cool, next! Omgtheyaresoamazing? Cool. Next!

There are so many actors whose performances I consistently love or enjoy, that I always look forward to seeing and am often moved by. But there’s a difference between actors who frequently deliver great work, and actors who make something inherently more just by being there, that make me sit up in my seat because what they give either draws out extra engagement from me or they are so distinctive a presence that the fabric of the film/show is thereby altered. But none of this exists without the secret ingredient: that chemical thing that just draws you to one person’s talent and onscreen life more than another.

The factors are endless. Above is my next tier of favorites, the ones that I didn’t go with but thought about and in some cases agonized (yes, agonized) over whether to include or not.

What do you do when a specific stretch of someone’s work means more to you than most people’s entire careers? Most don’t make it (Patty Duke, Diane Lane, Juliette Lewis, Marlon Brando, etc) But a few do: pre-Dick Tracy Warren Beatty, Eric Roberts in the 1980’s, and Sandy Dennis in the late 1960’s and early 1970’s.

What do you do with the actors who are still alive but not working regularly, at all, or at the same caliber they used to? Most don’t make it (Nancy Allen, Tim Curry, Kathleen Turner, Fairuza Balk, Sheryl Lee, etc). But a few do: Jim Carrey, Shelley Duvall, Theresa Russell (a spot that could have been occupied by many that mean just as much to me, but I went with Theresa this time because it felt right), Eric Roberts, and John Travolta.

What do you do with the actors who mean a lot to you but whose careers were so brief that it’s hard to justify adding them over others? Unfortunately, almost all of those actors didn’t make it (Linda Manz, Paula Sheppard, Laird Cregar, Zoe Lund, James Dean, Pamela Franklin, etc). One does: Louise Brooks.

What do you do about the actors you love watching more than most but whose work you aren’t familiar enough with yet? None of them make it (Natasha Lyonne, Yaphet Kotto, Silvana Mangano, Helmut Berger, Dagmar Lassander, Tuesday Weld, etc). There are plenty of films from the 50 I’ve yet to see, but I’ve at least seen enough.

Then there are all the others, the really tough ones. I think about James Gandolfini more and more as the years go by. Harvey Keitel’s performances resonate a lot more as I get older (those defiant eyes, I can often feel him). I can’t believe I didn’t make room for Christina Ricci. Julia Louis-Dreyfus is the defining comedienne of my lifetime. There is only one Carol Kane, Donald Sutherland, Nicolas Cage, Joan Cusack, Parker Posey, Lily Tomlin, Crispin Glover. I get distinct pleasures from watching each of them. Some of my favorite immortals are Marlene Dietrich, Alain Delon, Judy Garland, Bette Davis, Buster Keaton, Cate Blanchett. I’m pretty sure I talk about Jude Law all the time. I will, and have, watched Jean-Claude Van Damme in anything I can find. In recent months I’ve rewatched a lot of key Samuel L. Jackson performances (Jackie Brown, Pulp Fiction, Black Snake Moan, Django Unchained), and was newly reminded that he is one of our most compelling living actors. His pervasive and phoned-in presence in every imaginable franchise had led me to forget that. I’ve been hooked on Gene Wilder, Charles Laughton, Eva Green, Cillian Murphy, and still am. It goes on and on and on.

But this is the challenge of it, and the fun of it. My 50 favorites capture my fascination with stardom and long-range careers with eras & reinventions (ex. Crawford, Cruise, Fonda, Monroe, DiCaprio, Farrell, Taylor), physicality (ex. Chan, Ball, Phoenix, Reeves, Olyphant) & commanding physical presence (ex. Reed, Kidman, De Niro, Mitchum), blue moon charisma (ex. Pfeiffer, Russell, Walbrook, Cagney, Reed, Nicholson), the ones I feel a deep connection to (all of them but especially Carrey, Brooks, & Hoffman) & offbeat god-tier character actors (Dennis, Dourif, Roberts, Black, Duvall) I would take a bullet for.

I start to realize some of the people that aren’t even on this second list: Tilda Swinton, Kate Winslet, Robin Williams, Ingrid Bergman, Cary Grant, Humphrey Bogart, Gloria Grahame, Katharine Hepburn, Michael Shannon, Al Pacino, Meryl Streep, Jeanne Moreau, Saorsie Ronan, Brad Pitt, Gena Rowlands, Dirk Bogarde, James Mason, Jeff Bridges, Ethan Hawke, Jeff Goldblum, Steve Buscemi, Julianne Moore, Catherine O’Hara, Catherine Deneuve, Juliette Binoche, Charlize Theron, Robert Redford, Julie Christie, Michael C. Hall, Michael Caine, Malcolm McDowell, John Hurt, Paul Newman, Anjelica Huston, Sigourney Weaver (every time I watch her in something I think about how much I love her. Her work in Alien 3 means a lot to me), Elliot Gould, etc etc etc. Hell, Peter Mullan is the only person on either list who appears in any Harry Potter film, and that franchise employed basically every British actor you can think of. Most of these actors have been on other lists in the past. Some you’d always be guaranteed to find there (Binoche, Deneuve, etc). As I type this I am realize I forgot Michael Stuhlbarg and John Hawkes in that second group. At the end of the day it just becomes about knowing who there was never any question about, and going with your gut on the rest.

But these 50 (ok, 52, I cheated, the truth is out!), the ones I ultimately chose, are the actors whose work collectively means more than the rest, my ultimate favorites: the ones I can lose myself in, and then find myself in. Who are yours?

1st Annual 50 Favorite Actors list WARNING: The following contains heavy semantics. This is the equivalent of letterboxd users breaking down their dumb rating systems.

[cinema-tv-etc]

“Just the facts, ma’am” — “Dragnet” (1951 - 1959) (1967 - 1970)

“Ladies and gentlemen: the story you are about to hear is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.” Such a cool opening for one of the most memorable “cop” TV shows of all time. Sgt. Joe  — My name’s Friday. I’m a cop — Friday (Jack Web) and his detective sidekicks (played by Ben Alexander and Harry Morgan) managed to keep us glued to the television with their subtle tactics in apprehending criminals because all they really needed in their quest was... just the facts. So cool. Dum, de, dum, dum! Check out this very cool short video.

“Stifle it, Edith!” — “All In The Family” (1971 - 1979) Archie Bunker (Carroll O’Connor) had a way with words. He called his liberal son-in-law,  “Meathead”and his faithful wife, “Dingbat “ (and he insulted about every stereotype you can name) without getting his hand slapped from the politically correct community. He was so lovable, though, right? Whenever his wife Edith (Jean Stapleton) had an opinion, he managed to stifle her — most of the time. Check out the time she stifled him here.

“Who Loves Ya Baby?” — “Kojak” (1973 - 1978)

Kojak (Telly Savalas) was probably the only New York City detective on TV who made the Tootsie Roll Pop sexy. And, didn’t he start the bald head craze? (OK, Yul Brenner in the “King And I” helped get this trend started).  Who loves Ya, Baby? We do, we do!  (Look here for clip.)

“Good Evening” — Alfred Hitchcock Presents (1955 - 1962)

Maybe you had to be there, but no one could grab an audience with an introduction quite like Alfred Hitchcock. His “series of unrelated short stories covering elements of crime, horror, drama and comedy about people of different species committing murders, suicides, thefts and other sorts of crime caused by certain motivations” kept us coming back for more each week. It seems like seven years just wasn’t enough for this film director and his spell-bounding stories.  Take a look at his one-of-a-kind introductions here.  

“Would you believe... “ — “Get Smart”  (1965 - 1970)

“Get Smart” (battling the forces of KAOS) had an embarrassment of riches in the catchphrase department. Maxwell Smart, Agent 86 (Don Adams) kept his co-hort, Agent 99 (Barbara Feldon) and the Chief (Edward Platt) on the tips of their toes every time he opened his mouth. “Would you believe” these words of wisdom: “Missed it by that much!,” “Sorry about that, Chief,” and “I asked you not to tell me that.” Yes, we would believe anything you say, Agent 86. Take a peek at these “Get Smart” funniest moments here.

“To the moon, Alice!” — “The Honeymooners/The Jackie Gleason Show” (1951 - 1959) Who could forget the wild and crazy antics of New York City bus driver Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason), sarcastic wife Alice Kramden (Audrey Meadows), NYC sewer worker, Ed Norton (Art Carney) and his wife Trixie (Joyce Randolph)? These four feisty Brooklyn residents tested each others patience on a daily basis which was the reason millions of viewers tuned in once a week. Needless to say, Alice Kramden knew how to draw blood which is why Ralph gave her the what for... “One of these days, Alice, you’re going to the moon!”   “Just One more thing...” — “Colombo”  (1971 - 2003)

Peter Falk made “Colombo” a household name with his unique way of solving the “whodunit” mystery in this clever television detective show. The Fashion Police would have a field day with this disheveled, cigar-smoking detective. (Oh, that rumpled, beige raincoat... how we loved it.) The criminal always thinks he/she has the upper hand in the investigation only to be caught up in the web of Colombo’s increasingly intrusive presence. Just when the suspect thinks all is well,  the polite detective (who always gets his man/woman), has “just one more thing“ to ask.

“Goodnight, John Boy” — “The Waltons”  (1971 - 1981)

This Great Depression Virginia mountain family sure knew how to grab our hearts. Each episode focuses on the “family of John Walton Jr. (known as John-Boy), his parents, John and Olivia Walton, their seven children, and John’s parents Zebulon “Zeb” and Esther Walton. John-Boy (Richard Thomas) is the eldest of the children (17 years old in the beginning), who becomes a journalist and novelist. In the signature scene that closes almost every episode, the family house is enveloped in darkness, save for one, two or three lights in the upstairs bedroom windows. Through voice-overs, two or more characters make some brief comments related to that episode’s events, and then bid each other goodnight, after which the lights go out.”

“Let’s be careful out there.” — “Hill Street Blues” (1981 - 1987)

“Hill Street Blues“is an American serial police drama that chronicled the lives of the staff of a single police station located on the fictional Hill Street, in an unnamed large city, with ‘blues’ being a slang term for police officers for their blue uniforms.”  In the opening, Sgt. Phil Esterhaus  (Michael Conrad) does the police roll call, concluding with his signature line: “Let’s be careful out there.”

“May God bless.” — “The Red Skelton Show” (1951 - 1971)

“The Red Skelton Show” was mainly known for the comedy sketches performed by Red himself which included an array of comedic characters (Clem Kadiddlehopper, San Fernando Red, George Appleby and Freddie the Freeloader). He also had guest star performers including John Wayne, Phyllis Diller, Jack Benny... the list goes on forever. His opening monologue often included his two favorite seagulls, Gertrude and Heathcliff. At the end of each show, he ended it with thoughts that went something like this.

“Lucy! You got some ‘splainin’ to do!” — “I Love Lucy” (1951 - 1957) That crazy redhead we affectionately know as Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball) was never at a loss for words... or hair brained, good-natured mischief. Her cohort, Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance) was somewhat skeptical at times to play along, but the two BFFs made life interesting for their respective spouses, Ricky (Desi Arnaz) and Fred (William Frawley) to say the least. When Lucy tested Ricky’s patience one too many times, he screamed the only phrase that came to mind (each time): “Lucy, You got some ‘splainin’ to do!” Don’t we all use that phrase ocassionally when we get pissed at our significant others (no matter what gender they are)?

“Yada, Yada, Yada” — “Seinfeld” (1989 - 1998)

Let’s give a big round of applause to Jerry (Jerry Seinfeld), Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), George Costanza (Jason Alexander) and Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards) for giving us the best nine sitcom seasons of our lives. Did you know it was actually George’s new girlfriend, Marcy, who came up with the “yada, yada, yada” expression? If you don’t do anything else today, watch this Seinfeld montage.  

“Come On Down!” — “The Price Is Right“ (1956 - 1965) (1972 - Present)

I don’t care how old you are, you have heard — at one time in your life — a game show announcer say, “Come on down!” You know the game show: “The Price Is Right.” And you know the master of all game shows: Bob Barker. The point is, no matter what year you were born, somewhere, on some network, “The Price Is Right” has been on your radar. Unless you live in a third world country. Check out this “Come on down!” video with Bob Barker.

“Sock it to me.” — “Rowan and Martin’s Laugh In” (1967 - 1973) The comedy team of Dan Rowan and Dick Martin hosted this psychedelic, fast-moving comedy series that featured series regulars Lily Tomlin, Ruth Buzzi, Judy Carne, Goldie Hawn, Arte Johnson, Jo Ann Worley, Gary Owens, Alan Sues and Henry Gibson. Judy Carne became the butt of the joke when she said, “Sock it to me.” They doused her with water or gently assaulted her with rubber objects. Be careful what you say out there.

“Dy-no-mite!” — “Good Times” (1974 - 1979) “Good Times“ lets us in on the lives of Florida (Esther Rolle) and James Evans   (John Amos) and their three children, J.J. (Jimmie Walker), Thelma (Bern Nadette Stanis) and Michael (Ralph Carter). “Episodes of Good Times deal with the characters’ attempts to survive in a high rise project building in Chicago, despite their poverty” ... and hilarity ensues. Fess up, you know you said the word “Dy-n-Mite!” every time something good happened in your life back in the day, thanks to the adorable J.J. (Although nobody says it better!)

“God will get you for that!” — “Maude” (1972 - 1978)

Who remembers that “Maude“ was a spin-off from “All In The Family?” Yes, Maude (Bea Arthur) was Edith’s cousin —  who  somehow got the spunk gene in the family.  And who remembers that Maude was a “liberal, independent woman living in Tuckahoe, NY with her fourth husband, Walter (Bill Macy)?” And if you didn’t know all that... (say it).

“De Plane, De Plane” — “Fantasy Island” (1977 - 1984)

Picture it: a remote tropical island resort where all your dreams come true. Well, not exactly. There were glitches in those wishes. Mr. Roarke (Ricardo Montalban ), assisted by his adorable miniature side-kick Tattoo (Hervé Villechaize) had the best of intentions of making his guests live out their fantasies, but what kind of show would that be if everything were perfect? You could count on one thing. The beginning of each episode,  a plane arrived with their (we’re presuming rich) guests. Tattoo always alerted Mr. Roarke, by pointing up to the sky, announcing: “De Plane, de plane!” Welcome to Fantasy Island.

“What U Talkin’ ‘bout Willis?” — “Different Strokes” (1978 - 1986)

“Different Strokes” starred Gary Coleman and Todd Bridges (Arnold and Willis Jackson), Conrad Bain (Phillip Drummond) and Dana Plato (Kimberly Drummond) who were perhaps one of the first racially mixed families on television.  Arnold didn’t hold back when Willis came up with some bizarre and/or surprise monologue that got his goat. “What u talkin’ ‘bout, Willis?”  Too cute!

“Book ‘em, Danno.” — “Hawaii Five-0” (1968 - 1980)

This may be my all-time favorite detective show based in Hawaii (sorry “Magnum P.I.”). And it may well just be because of one of my all-time favorite detective catchphrases: “Book ‘em Danno.” Detective Steve McGarrett (Jack Lord) worked so well with Danny Williams (James MacArthur) in each episode to put the bad guys in hand cuffs. (And who didn’t love that theme song!? Check it out here and turn the volume up and enjoy!)

“Say the secret word and win a hundred dollars.” — “You Bet Your Life” (TV version, 1950 - 1961)

Groucho Marx was probably the first choice to host this quiz show that featured a show chocked full of competitive questions — and some hilarious conversation. As it turns out, the comedian was the perfect host. As in all quiz shows, there is money to be won. But, with the right “word,” a contestant could win an extra hundred big ones. All they had to do was say the secret word. Easy Not so fast. How many words are in the English language? But we loved to hear Groucho announce: “Say the secret word and win a hundred dollars.” Sometimes they did. And that was seriously exciting.

“Say goodnight, Gracie” — “The George Burns And Gracie Allen Show“ (1950 - 1958)                              

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/catchphrases-classic-tv-shows_b_8142724.html

[stunudo]

Date Night Late Night

A Criminal Minds Fanfiction

Featuring: JJ x Female Reader    Setting: Season 16 (ha! vague future-verse)

Requested by: Anonymous

“ Could you write a JJ x reader (female reader) fic where they’ve been dating for a couple of months and make love to each other after dinner and a movie at the reader’s apartment? Thnx.💜💜💕💕”

Warnings: Smut, but I wanted it to be special and romantic, as per the request. I put it as their first time because I like to see JJ out of her comfort zone. xoxo Stu

Your name: submit What is this?

JJ is running late, which is unlike her, despite her hectic work life. She got done with the boys’ soccer games and rushed through the changing of the guard small talk with Will. She has a lot planned for the remaining weekend days, the most important is her three month anniversary with Y/N. Which she conveniently didn’t mention to her ex-husband or the listening ears of their children. Some habits stay with us, despite the years and social progress; JJ is still protective of her relationships.

You are excited because JJ has the entire weekend off. No matter what, you called Emily to double check. Garcia has also preemptively blocked any and all calls from the FBI to JJ’s phone for the next 36 hours. You love the BAU team, if you hadn’t started dating JJ, you might have applied for the opening left by Rossi’s second retirement. JJ has his office now, which makes you prone to bragging about your stellar agent girlfriend.

The Chinese food cartons overwhelm Y/N’s tiny kitchen table. JJ expecting to be wined and dined, smiles at the take out. Y/N understands her better than she realized. JJ rifles through the silverware drawer for Y/N’s sets of chopsticks. Y/N walks into the kitchen with the wine she forgot in her car. Her casual smirk brightens the room as she catches JJ sneaking a Rangoon. The comical guilt nearly causes JJ to choke on the fried goodness.

“Oh c'mon!” You howl at the screen.“He is a Sith Lord. Rey, Just Say No.”

Adam Driver bends down and passionately kisses Daisy Ridley. JJ takes an amused sip from her wine. The scene changes to an army of Ewoks led by Maz across a First Order encampment. The blaring theme music trumpets in the ending credits. Another trilogy ends, your nerd heart is sated and grieving. JJ pats your thigh and brings you back to Earth. “Do you want to pick another movie?” You ask generously.

“I don’t know, I am getting tired.”

“The night is young…”

“And you’re so beautiful.” JJ giggles.

Your brow furrows in surprise.“Did you just quote Carry Elwes?!”

“ So what if I did?” JJ leans in for a soft kiss. The bitterness of the red wine sinks through.

Jennifer Jareau is a warrior goddess and she has the battle scars to prove it. You find yourself in awe of her body, toned by all the effort and care she takes. Gentle curves from blessed genes and nurturing and forming lives. You struggle to speak in her presence now, like when you first met all those years ago. The months together do not calm your racing heart, eventually your lips find purchase on the tendons framing her neck. Your hand strokes her hair back and you begin the dance of adoration.

JJ’s hand finds your back and she holds you firmly to her, her right rests gently on your hip. The kisses fall, her scent, touch, life-force intoxicating. You lose time as you roll in the chilled sheets.

“Y/N?” JJ whispers, she tries to hide her nervousness. You smile, trying to reassure her.

“You alright, Goldie?” You ask as your fingertips trace down her smooth stomach.

“Yes, yes, of course, just, let me know if I am doing something wrong? It’s been awhile.” She was trying to joke, but her uncharacteristic self-doubt brought you to your knees.

“Hey, now, this goes both ways. You tell me if you don’t like anything, k? We’re here to enjoy each other, no pressure, Love.”

JJ smiled at the nicknames, you get a little overboard with them, Spencer says ‘you’re generous’ with them because you feel insecure someone so amazing is your partner. (Alright, he didn’t say it so plainly, but that’s what you took away from the rant.) She had turned your stoic nature into a romantic mess over the past few months and it scared you sometimes. This was not one of them.

You crawled back up her thin frame and kissed her deeply, tethering each other to this moment and each other. JJ gives into your caresses, you reciprocate with a trail of gentle nibbles down her body.

The subtle hitch in JJ’s breathing tells you that your efforts are fruitful. You delicately spread her legs and begin to lavish her core. As you trace her folds tenderly with your finger tips, she sighs. “Y/N, just… Please?” JJ purrs.

“As you wish.” You taunt back. You delve into her, bringing you both to a higher plane.

@dontshootmespence @imagicana @gubl-oser @milkandcookies528 @blakendores @marvelfanlife

[junker-town]

Shai Gilgeous-Alexander’s winding journey to stardom with the Thunder

The 21-year-old guard has finally found a home in Oklahoma City.

Shai Gilgeous-Alexander knew he had to leave home for his basketball dreams to become a reality. So at age 16, Gilgeous-Alexander left his native Ontario in search of a place that would increase his exposure to college coaches. He would settle in at Hamilton Heights Christian Academy in Chattanooga, Tennessee, and he convinced his cousin, Nickeil Alexander-Walker, to come with him.

When Gilgeous-Alexander started at Hamilton as a junior, he only had one scholarship offer from lowly Binghamton. The rough outlines of the player he would one day become were there. He was always tall for a guard. He had the genes, too: his mother, Charmaine Gilgeous, competed in the 400-meters at the 1992 Olympics for Antigua and Barbuda. As Gilgeous-Alexander started to learn how to harness his gifts, his rapid ascent up the basketball world would begin.

Florida coach Mike White, who had recently accepted the job after Billy Donovan left for the Oklahoma City Thunder, offered a scholarship months after Gilgeous-Alexander moved to America. Desperate for a high-major offer, Gilgeous-Alexander accepted, but he still wanted something more.

Kentucky was always his dream school. John Calipari had coached a number of Canadian-born players, most recently Trey Lyles and Jamal Murray. Meanwhile, Gilgeous-Alexander’s stock continued to rise after breakout performances on Nike’s EYBL circuit with the Arkansas Wings and then with Canada in the U18 FIBA Americas tournament. When he decommitted from Florida, Gilgeous-Alexander reached out to Kentucky before it could reach out to him.

An offer came quickly, and Gilgeous-Alexander didn’t hesitate to accept. At the time, he was ranked as the No. 43 overall recruit in the class of 2017, an impressive ranking almost anywhere other than Kentucky, a program where even McDonald’s All-Americans transfer out after getting recruited over. It didn’t deter Gilgeous-Alexander as he entered the program as the lowest-ranked member in a seven-man class.

He came off the bench in 13 of his first 15 games at Kentucky, but Calipari could only relegate him to sixth man for so long. He entered the starting lineup in January and almost immediately became the team’s best player, leading the Wildcats to an SEC tournament championship, where he would be named MVP.

When Kentucky flamed out in the NCAA tournament, Gilgeous-Alexander made the leap to the NBA. He shot up draft boards by measuring as the biggest guard in his class, now standing 6’6 with a close to 7-foot wingspan. The Charlotte Hornets selected him with the No. 11 pick, but then immediately traded him to the Clippers. He would start 73 games as a rookie for a playoff team, only to be traded again, this time to the Oklahoma City Thunder as part of a massive package for Paul George.

Gilgeous-Alexander’s journey has taken him from Canada to Tennessee, Kentucky to Los Angeles, and now Oklahoma City. He has had to prove himself at every step, willing opportunity into existence for teams that never initially handed it to him. For once, he has a team that wants to hand him the keys. In the midst of a star turn in second season, the Thunder must be wondering what took everyone else so long.

Alonzo Adams-USA TODAY Sports

Gilgeous-Alexander’s year in Los Angeles was a trial by fire in the best way possible. He took over a starting job in the tenth game of the season and never turned back, earning key minutes in high leverage situations for a team that won 48 games and gave the Warriors a tough first round series in the playoffs. He was a complimentary player in Los Angeles in every sense, finishing ninth on the team in usage rate, seven in minutes, and sixth in scoring.

The Thunder didn’t need a complementary player. They needed a cornerstone. The question was whether Gilgeous-Alexander’s offense could scale up in a bigger role with more responsibility. Through the start of this season, he’s providing a definitive answer that he can do exactly that.

Gilgeous-Alexander has gone from averaging 10.8 points as a rookie to 21 per-game for the Thunder in his second season. He’s done it by significantly raising his usage rate while improving his shooting efficiency and lowering his turnover rate. He’s taking the things he was already good at and getting even better at them. He’s fine-tuning his weaknesses, too. This suddenly looks like one of the most well-rounded guards in the league, all at age-21.

Gilgeous-Alexander doesn’t have an especially quick first step. He’s not going to dunk on you around the rim. Yet, he has already become one of the league’s most dangerous drivers. At the moment, he’s sixth in the NBA in drives per game and seventh in points off drives. He’s hitting 65 percent of his shots at the rim, a remarkable number for a guard.

He does it by attacking in off-beat rhythms that defenders aren’t accustomed to. He’s also strong and flexible, able to get low to the ground with his dribble to gain leverage on opposing defenders. With an advanced understanding of where his spots are and how to get to them, Gilgeous-Alexander never lets anyone else dictate the tempo. His careening drives to the rim happen at his own pace.

SGA too smooth with it #ThunderUp pic.twitter.com/40i5hIprfM

— NBA TV (@NBATV) November 6, 2019

Gilgeous-Alexander has also worked tirelessly to improve as an outside shooter. He’s always had a high but slow release that isn’t ideal to be a threat on pull-up jumpers. There’s no denying his touch, though. After being tentative shooter at Kentucky and with the Clippers, he’s on his way to becoming a knockdown shooter in the right situations.

He’s hitting 41 percent of his threes so far this season on 4.4 attempts per game. It part of a larger reworking of his shot profile that has been overhauled since arriving in Oklahoma City. As a rookie, 33 percent of his attempts were long twos, classified as coming from 10-feet to just before the three-point arc. This year, he’s only taking 13 percent of his shots in the same areas. The difference is in his three-point rate, which has jumped from 19 percent to 30 percent.

This is how a young player turns potential into production and how a second year leap goes from a wish to reality. Gilgeous-Alexander has waited his entire life to be given the reigns of an offense. The Thunder are being richly rewarded for it.

Alonzo Adams-USA TODAY Sports

It’s impossible to imagine what the next contender in Oklahoma City looks like. Out of the death of the Russell Westbrook era and the failed experiment to salvage it with Paul George and Carmelo Anthony, the Thunder are now ready to build from the ground up. GIilgeous-Alexander is going to be at the center of whatever they construct.

GM Sam Presti is armed with eight first round picks over the next six years that aren’t his team’s own, in addition to a number of pick swaps. He also has a roster full of intriguing assets, from Chris Paul to Steven Adams to Danilo Gallinari. The Thunder are feisty, but this season already feels like a prologue of a bigger story. Gilgeous-Alexander might be the star of it. His skill set also makes him uniquely equipped for co-headliner status as the type of player who brings so many valuable skills to the table while taking nothing off of it.

After a lifetime on the go, Gilgeous-Alexander has finally found a place he can call home. With the type of stability and opportunity he’s never had until now, the extraordinary year-over-year improvement that has defined his life in basketball has a new launching point. Don’t doubt how high he can climb from here.

[tabloidtoc]

National Examiner, April 26

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Queen Elizabeth's royal rage

Page 2: Playing House -- famous best buds who shared the rent -- Dustin Hoffman and Gene Hackman, Ryan Reynolds and Michelle Williams, Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland, Danny DeVito and Michael Douglas

Page 3: Justin Long and Jonah Hill, Ving Rhames and Stanley Tucci, Eddie Redmayne and Jamie Dornan, Jason Priestley and Brad Pitt, Holly Hunter and Frances McDormand, Rob Lowe and Tom Cruise

Page 4: Matt Damon's roles and costumes

Page 6: A Delaware state trooper went above and beyond the call of duty when he surprised a little boy with a brand-new pair of Steph Curry sneakers -- Trooper Joshua Morris and nine-year-old Ra'kir Allen got to be pals when they played basketball together, along with other youths in the area and when the good-hearted cop learned that Ra'kir thought NBA star Stephen Curry of the Golden State Warriors was his idol, he got an idea, and after running the idea past Ra'kir's mother, the cop presented the aspiring sports star with his own pair of shoes -- Morris says cops should never be strangers to the people they protect, and he lives his belief every day

Page 7: Screen legend Bette Davis believed she had psychic abilities, says her assistant Kathryn Sermak, who met the legend in 1979 and was hired within five minutes of meeting her -- as her personal assistant, she was at Bette's service 24 hours a day, but the star was also very generous like if they were going to a film set, the job was seven days a week, but when it was over, she'd give Kathryn a paid vacation anywhere she wanted for as much as six weeks -- few people know that the screen idol loved to pull practical jokes on people; for instance, at cocktail hour, Bette would serve drinks in gag glasses that dribbled, and then when the liquid would pour onto her guests' expensive dresses or suits, she would innocently ask if they were okay -- the assistant also knew Bette's only child, Barbara Davis Hyman, known as B.D., whose father was Bette's third husband, Grant Sherry. Bette and her next husband, Garry Merrill, her co-star in All About Eve, also adopted two more children, Michael and Margot Merrill, but diagnosed with brain damage at age three, Margot has spent her life in institutions

Page 8: Saving Face -- take years off with simple makeup and skincare tips

Page 9: Vax Reax -- prepare for possible COVID jab side effects

Page 10: Billy Adams really knows how to get his daily steps in as the software exec walks 12 miles around Washington D.C. every day, picking up trash by hand -- during the lockdown, Billy took advantage of working from home to find a daily routine that was good for his physical and mental wellbeing, and helps beautify the city he loves -- starting in June, he began to choose a different 12-mile route every day, no matter the weather, Billy crossed from his Maryland home over into D.C. for a three-hour loop, starting at 8:30 a.m., and he picks up trash along the way and dumps bags of it into garbage cans on his route

Page 11: Tips for getting a restful night -- some tried-and-true tips for getting some rejuvenating rest

Page 12: Olivia Newton-John knows a thing or two about survival: she's had breast cancer three times over the past 28 years and has worked tirelessly to save her own life and the lives of others with her extensive research into natural remedies -- the 72-year-old Grease star says she and her husband John Easterling, who founded the Amazon Herb Company to help the world recognize the benefits of the Amazon Rainforest plants, have developed an approach called integrative medicine. It's a mix of doctor-recommended treatments and those from their own research

Page 14: Dear Tony, America's top psychic healer Tony Leggett -- never too late for romance, it will take work

Page 15: Tom Cornish is 96 years old, but age hasn't slowed him down from knitting up a storm of kindness -- over the past year, the Minnesota World War II veteran has donated nearly 500 winter hats in eye-catching colors to the Salvation Army, where he does volunteer work, and he hand-made each and every one of them

Page 16: Keeping the Peace -- TV has its share of great cops, but here are the ten best TV cops of all time -- T.J. Hooker, "Pepper" Anderson, Joe Friday, Andy Sipowicz, Richard "Hutch" Hutchinson, Kate Beckett, Lennie Briscoe, Olivia Benson, Frank Reagan, Sheriff Andy Taylor

Page 18: When a North Carolina school entered custodian Raymond Brown in the state's School Hero Award, he lost to someone else, so they made their own ceremony and gave him $35,000

Page 19: A group of ATV riders got the scare of their lives when one of their dogs stepped off the edge of a steep cliff and kept going, according to Steven Hawkins, president of the Utah ATV Association, who call themselves The Wild Bunch -- they immediately swung into action action to rescue stranded pooch Summer and got together and each took a hold of a rope with Steven at the end, climbing slowly down the face of the rocks as the others held on while looking on in horror, but in the end, the group found the strength to pull man and dog from the cliff face to safety

Page 20: Cover Story -- Queen Elizabeth is on the warpath -- palace aides are walking on eggshells around Her Majesty ever since Prince Harry and wife Meghan Markle dropped the bombshell on American TV that the royal family is a racist mess who completely ignored Meghan's mental health problems, among other horrifying accusations, and the queen will never get over the fact that Harry, without warning, turned his back on his own country and the people Elizabeth has served every day of her 95 years and she's also terrified the royal family's circus-like antics will bring on the end of the monarchy

Page 22: A California couple who were just about to retire drastically changed their plans when they adopted seven children -- Pam and Gary Willis have five children of their own and have been foster parents to many others and just as their last child was about to leave home, Pam spotted a Facebook advertisement searching for a forever home for seven kids from ages 15 to 4 whose parents had been killed in a tragic car crash -- Pam says she couldn't stop staring at their faces, saying she can't explain it, but she just knew she was supposed to be their mom and when she told Gary, she thought he'd call her a wacko because they were just about to retire, but surprisingly he agreed and they both felt it was what God wanted them to do

Page 24: High school senior Dasia Taylor is only 17, but she's going down in medical history for inventing sutures that detect if a wound is infected -- the brilliant student was named as one of 40 finalists in the Regeneron Science Talent Search, the nation's most prestigious science and math competition for high school seniors -- Dasia's sutures, which took a year to perfect, work by changing colors if the patient's PH level alters and the level changes quickly when a wound is healing and goes bad, so she began experimenting with beets, and she found that beets changed color at the perfect PH point and that's perfect for an infected wound -- the color changes from bright red to a dark purple when a wound becomes infected so it's easy to see with the naked eye and Dasia envisions the stitches being used in developing countries, so that infection can be detected with no advanced equipment -- Dasia's goal is to attend Howard University and become a lawyer

Page 25: 4 signs you may have weak bones

Page 26: Sentimental baseball fantasy Field of Dreams hit a home run with its poignant story of second chances, and as the one-of-a-kind movie celebrates its 32nd anniversary, here are some of the secrets behind the classic motion picture

Page 28: Wisdom of the stars -- inspirational quotes to light your way -- Javier Bardem, Tom Cruise, Leonardo DiCaprio, Michelle Obama, Brad Pitt, Diana Ross, Justin Timberlake, Meryl Streep, Anne Hathaway

Page 29: Beyonce, Barack Obama, George Clooney, Sidney Poitier, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Rihanna, Will Smith, Matt Damon, Ariana Grande

Page 32: Get Insects to Bug Off -- save your picnic and your sanity with DIY tricks

Page 40: Chakras -- Your powers begin within -- what chakras are and what they do

Page 42: 10 facts about Law & Order: SVU

Page 44: Eyes on the Stars -- Blake Shelton says he's hoping for a summer wedding with fiance Gwen Stefani, Sylvester Stallone is writing a potential TV prequel to his Rocky film franchise, Tara Reid recently wiped out on the red carpet in six-inch platform heels, Evelyn Sakash who worked on art direction on Mermaids was recently found dead in her NYC home months after she was reported missing in September 2020, Dancing with the Stars pro Sharna Burgess recently made her red carpet debut in Malibu with beau Brian Austin Green, Jeffrey Dean Morgan admits he's still shocked about The Walking Dead coming to a close later this year, Martha Stewart made waves last summer when she posted a sultry selfie on social media and admits she got so many proposals and so many propositions

Page 45: Rita Moreno attends the SAG Awards via video (picture), Selena Gomez and Martin Short shares some giggles on a NYC set (picture), Mary Steenburgen playfully serenades husband Ted Danson (picture), Helen Mirren (picture), Joe Giudice recently met Luis "Louie" Ruelas who is the current boyfriend of his former wife Teresa Giudice, Salma Hayek has joined the cast of House of Gucci playing clairvoyant Pina Auriemma, Ben Affleck gushed over ex Jennifer Lopez in a recent interview

Page 46: Two best friends are even closer after one rescued the other using CPR, a single day after she completed a course on how to administer the life-saving technique -- Torri'ell Norwood, age 16, was at the wheel when a speeding driver rammed her car, sending it hurtling smack into a tree and the St. Petersburg, Florida teen climbed through the window to safety when her door wouldn't open, and two of her three passengers also managed to get out, but her BFF A'zarria Simmons was still inside the wreck unconscious -- Torri'ell had just completed her CPR training the day before and knew what to do so she pulled her pal from the vehicle and, when she couldn't find a pulse, administered 30 compressions and two rescue breaths until A'zarria regained consciousness and paramedics soon arrived and rushed the girl to a hospital

Page 47: Get out of the wind and rain, or just find some shade, while you wait for the next bus in these quirky, fruit-shaped sculpture bus stops -- the idea began in Japan and is now spreading to other countries, so don't be surprised to see a super-sized piece of fruit at the end of your block in the near future

[radlybatesvaluations-blog]

Adam Radly Bob Bates: Small business owners may be over-confident

Adam Radly and Bob Bates have owned many small businesses. A recent poll show 2/3 of owners are optimistic, but is that how they should be thinking? https://www.inc.com/gene-marks/are-small-businesses-over-confident.html For over the past year and a half many surveys have reported rising optimism among small business owners. Most recently, the U.S. Chamber of Commerce - an organization that represents the interests of more than three million businesses of all sizes - announced the largest increase on record for its quarterly small business index that it conducts with insurance company MetLife. More than two-thirds of the businesses that participated in the survey said they have a positive outlook for the coming year. Of course, that's good news - and it's not hard to understand why. The economy is growing, people are working, regulations have been loosened and a pro-business administration is running Washington. But - and maybe it's just the accountant in me - I can't help but think that we may be just a little too confident. Why? Well, I hate to rain on the party, but here are a few of my concerns as we finish out 2018. Healthcare costs are rising. Healthcare costs are projected to significantly increase in 2019. The reasons for this increase are many. The ending of the individual mandate, along with more exemptions for certain companies that were once required to provide health insurance will reduce the market of insurance buyers. President Trump's withholding of subsidies, an increased scrutiny of hospital and pharmaceutical companies' billing practices and more hurdles for people trying to enroll on the insurance exchanges are forcing many insurance companies to pull back coverage or increase rates. This is a big problem for businesses because health insurance is one of our most significant expenses. But there is some good news: more choices coming. "There are options," Tom Sullivan, the Chamber's Vice President of Small Business Policy told me. By this he means new rules allowing businesses to form "association" health plans and to offer less-expensive "skinny" plans to their employees. "Controlling healthcare costs will continue to be a challenge," Sullivan said, "But businesses will have more ways to address this cost then they've had in years past." Tax reform has some drawbacks. Sullivan is very bullish about tax reform - and he has reason to be. Tax rates in 2018 are now significantly lower for most corporations and "pass-through" entities than in 2017. Certain deductions have, for things like investing in capital equipment and purchasing automobiles, increased. Personal rates have also fallen for many as well and more deductions and credits are available. "Tax reform will be an enormous driver for small businesses this year," Sullivan said. "We've waited a long time for this." I'm in agreement, but I still have some concerns. For starters, I'm not sure most businesses truly understand the impact of tax reform and how it will affect their companies. To them, I say please meet with your accountant as soon as possible and do this analysis. More importantly is the cost of tax reform. Lower taxes will drive growth and help employers make more investments and hire people. But, longer term, the potential deficits it could create (an estimated $1 to $4 trillion in the next ten years, according to some analysis) could have a damaging impact on the government's ability to raise finances and pay its bills. Currently, six percent of the federal budget goes to interest and as this share rises in the future, the money will have to come from - or out of - somewhere. Interest rates are going to double. Current interest rates - which are hovering near 1.5 percent - are historically low. The Fed has plans to increase rates over the next two years to as much as 3 percent as the economy continues to grow. 3 percent is still pretty low. But it's also a doubling of rates in a relatively short time period. This may be good for the banking industry, but it will certainly cause many businesses to re-evaluate their budgets and take proactive steps to lock in rates and secure financing as quickly as possible. A budget item that doubles is a concern for any manager trying to control cash and deciding where to invest money and an interest rate increase may very well eat into the tax reform benefits that businesses are expecting. Workplace issues continue to drive up costs. "Finding and keeping good employees is the number one challenge we're hearing from our members," Sullivan said. "This challenge is going to continue into the foreseeable future." A tight labor market is making it harder to get good, skilled people and its effects are just beginning to drive up wages. In addition, many regions around the country are raising minimum wages and the federal government may do the same in the next year or two (the Trump administration supports an increase from the current $7.25 per hour to somewhere around $10-11 per hour). The Department of Labor is planning on increasing the wages where certain salaried workers are entitled to overtime. The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission is continuing its busy schedule of pursuing companies that are discriminating or harassing minorities. None of this is bad news for the employee and most employers I know are sympathetic. But costs are costs, and the increased scrutiny on workplace issues - from office romances, questioning salary history, drug testing and hiring practices - adds another regulatory (and financial burden) to a company. No one, not even Sullivan, predicts an end to this trend anytime soon. Markets are unstable. The rise and fall of markets has an enormous impact on the psyche of consumers. When stocks are up and stable people feel wealthier and are more willing to open up their pocketbooks. Fluctuations create uncertainty and hold back buying.  Unfortunately, there has been a lot of uncertainty over the past few months, with the Dow Jones rising and falling by hundreds of points in a single day, exchange rates wavering and interest rates on the increase. The internet and social media have created an environment where a sneeze by someone in China causes a meltdown in New York. Business owners are challenged to find a relatively calm place to invest their profits and are always concerned about the buying plans of our easily-shaken customers. Finally, the mid-terms are looming. While not making any predictions, Sullivan admits that any election year brings changes that could affect business owners. This year is, of course, no different. With virtually all of Congress up for grounds, this year's mid-terms could potentially see a changeover in Congressional control. The result could mean a re-visiting of tax reform, changes in healthcare and even potential impeachment proceedings against the President. Business people like certainty. We try to avoid surprises. Unfortunately, and considering recent history, there's no certainty when it comes to the U.S. elections. *** But let's not panic, though OK? Things are good right now. The world is (still) relatively at peace. Capital is very accessible. The economy is growing. A pro-business sentiment pervades in Washington. I get it that these factors, and others, are making most business owners feel confident about the future. But my job is to look at risks and there are quite a few we're all facing in the coming months. Enough to temper my confidence, just a little. Radly Bates affiliates: S7 Group Radly Bates Index Radly Bates Consulting Radly Bates Capital Radly Bates Associates Radly Bates Digital Radly Bates Valuations Follow us on social: Facebook Twitter Linkedin Read the full article

[radlybatesconsulting-blog]

Adam Radly Bob Bates: Small business owners may be over-confident

Adam Radly and Bob Bates have owned many small businesses. A recent poll show 2/3 of owners are optimistic, but is that how they should be thinking? https://www.inc.com/gene-marks/are-small-businesses-over-confident.html For over the past year and a half many surveys have reported rising optimism among small business owners. Most recently, the U.S. Chamber of Commerce - an organization that represents the interests of more than three million businesses of all sizes - announced the largest increase on record for its quarterly small business index that it conducts with insurance company MetLife. More than two-thirds of the businesses that participated in the survey said they have a positive outlook for the coming year. Of course, that's good news - and it's not hard to understand why. The economy is growing, people are working, regulations have been loosened and a pro-business administration is running Washington. But - and maybe it's just the accountant in me - I can't help but think that we may be just a little too confident. Why? Well, I hate to rain on the party, but here are a few of my concerns as we finish out 2018. Healthcare costs are rising. Healthcare costs are projected to significantly increase in 2019. The reasons for this increase are many. The ending of the individual mandate, along with more exemptions for certain companies that were once required to provide health insurance will reduce the market of insurance buyers. President Trump's withholding of subsidies, an increased scrutiny of hospital and pharmaceutical companies' billing practices and more hurdles for people trying to enroll on the insurance exchanges are forcing many insurance companies to pull back coverage or increase rates. This is a big problem for businesses because health insurance is one of our most significant expenses. But there is some good news: more choices coming. "There are options," Tom Sullivan, the Chamber's Vice President of Small Business Policy told me. By this he means new rules allowing businesses to form "association" health plans and to offer less-expensive "skinny" plans to their employees. "Controlling healthcare costs will continue to be a challenge," Sullivan said, "But businesses will have more ways to address this cost then they've had in years past." Tax reform has some drawbacks. Sullivan is very bullish about tax reform - and he has reason to be. Tax rates in 2018 are now significantly lower for most corporations and "pass-through" entities than in 2017. Certain deductions have, for things like investing in capital equipment and purchasing automobiles, increased. Personal rates have also fallen for many as well and more deductions and credits are available. "Tax reform will be an enormous driver for small businesses this year," Sullivan said. "We've waited a long time for this." I'm in agreement, but I still have some concerns. For starters, I'm not sure most businesses truly understand the impact of tax reform and how it will affect their companies. To them, I say please meet with your accountant as soon as possible and do this analysis. More importantly is the cost of tax reform. Lower taxes will drive growth and help employers make more investments and hire people. But, longer term, the potential deficits it could create (an estimated $1 to $4 trillion in the next ten years, according to some analysis) could have a damaging impact on the government's ability to raise finances and pay its bills. Currently, six percent of the federal budget goes to interest and as this share rises in the future, the money will have to come from - or out of - somewhere. Interest rates are going to double. Current interest rates - which are hovering near 1.5 percent - are historically low. The Fed has plans to increase rates over the next two years to as much as 3 percent as the economy continues to grow. 3 percent is still pretty low. But it's also a doubling of rates in a relatively short time period. This may be good for the banking industry, but it will certainly cause many businesses to re-evaluate their budgets and take proactive steps to lock in rates and secure financing as quickly as possible. A budget item that doubles is a concern for any manager trying to control cash and deciding where to invest money and an interest rate increase may very well eat into the tax reform benefits that businesses are expecting. Workplace issues continue to drive up costs. "Finding and keeping good employees is the number one challenge we're hearing from our members," Sullivan said. "This challenge is going to continue into the foreseeable future." A tight labor market is making it harder to get good, skilled people and its effects are just beginning to drive up wages. In addition, many regions around the country are raising minimum wages and the federal government may do the same in the next year or two (the Trump administration supports an increase from the current $7.25 per hour to somewhere around $10-11 per hour). The Department of Labor is planning on increasing the wages where certain salaried workers are entitled to overtime. The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission is continuing its busy schedule of pursuing companies that are discriminating or harassing minorities. None of this is bad news for the employee and most employers I know are sympathetic. But costs are costs, and the increased scrutiny on workplace issues - from office romances, questioning salary history, drug testing and hiring practices - adds another regulatory (and financial burden) to a company. No one, not even Sullivan, predicts an end to this trend anytime soon. Markets are unstable. The rise and fall of markets has an enormous impact on the psyche of consumers. When stocks are up and stable people feel wealthier and are more willing to open up their pocketbooks. Fluctuations create uncertainty and hold back buying.  Unfortunately, there has been a lot of uncertainty over the past few months, with the Dow Jones rising and falling by hundreds of points in a single day, exchange rates wavering and interest rates on the increase. The internet and social media have created an environment where a sneeze by someone in China causes a meltdown in New York. Business owners are challenged to find a relatively calm place to invest their profits and are always concerned about the buying plans of our easily-shaken customers. Finally, the mid-terms are looming. While not making any predictions, Sullivan admits that any election year brings changes that could affect business owners. This year is, of course, no different. With virtually all of Congress up for grounds, this year's mid-terms could potentially see a changeover in Congressional control. The result could mean a re-visiting of tax reform, changes in healthcare and even potential impeachment proceedings against the President. Business people like certainty. We try to avoid surprises. Unfortunately, and considering recent history, there's no certainty when it comes to the U.S. elections. *** But let's not panic, though OK? Things are good right now. The world is (still) relatively at peace. Capital is very accessible. The economy is growing. A pro-business sentiment pervades in Washington. I get it that these factors, and others, are making most business owners feel confident about the future. But my job is to look at risks and there are quite a few we're all facing in the coming months. Enough to temper my confidence, just a little. Radly Bates affiliates: S7 Group Radly Bates Index Radly Bates Consulting Radly Bates Capital Radly Bates Associates Radly Bates Digital Radly Bates Valuations Follow us on social: Facebook Twitter Linkedin Read the full article

[radlybatesassociates-blog]

Adam Radly Bob Bates: Small business owners may be over-confident

Adam Radly and Bob Bates have owned many small businesses. A recent poll show 2/3 of owners are optimistic, but is that how they should be thinking? https://www.inc.com/gene-marks/are-small-businesses-over-confident.html For over the past year and a half many surveys have reported rising optimism among small business owners. Most recently, the U.S. Chamber of Commerce - an organization that represents the interests of more than three million businesses of all sizes - announced the largest increase on record for its quarterly small business index that it conducts with insurance company MetLife. More than two-thirds of the businesses that participated in the survey said they have a positive outlook for the coming year. Of course, that's good news - and it's not hard to understand why. The economy is growing, people are working, regulations have been loosened and a pro-business administration is running Washington. But - and maybe it's just the accountant in me - I can't help but think that we may be just a little too confident. Why? Well, I hate to rain on the party, but here are a few of my concerns as we finish out 2018. Healthcare costs are rising. Healthcare costs are projected to significantly increase in 2019. The reasons for this increase are many. The ending of the individual mandate, along with more exemptions for certain companies that were once required to provide health insurance will reduce the market of insurance buyers. President Trump's withholding of subsidies, an increased scrutiny of hospital and pharmaceutical companies' billing practices and more hurdles for people trying to enroll on the insurance exchanges are forcing many insurance companies to pull back coverage or increase rates. This is a big problem for businesses because health insurance is one of our most significant expenses. But there is some good news: more choices coming. "There are options," Tom Sullivan, the Chamber's Vice President of Small Business Policy told me. By this he means new rules allowing businesses to form "association" health plans and to offer less-expensive "skinny" plans to their employees. "Controlling healthcare costs will continue to be a challenge," Sullivan said, "But businesses will have more ways to address this cost then they've had in years past." Tax reform has some drawbacks. Sullivan is very bullish about tax reform - and he has reason to be. Tax rates in 2018 are now significantly lower for most corporations and "pass-through" entities than in 2017. Certain deductions have, for things like investing in capital equipment and purchasing automobiles, increased. Personal rates have also fallen for many as well and more deductions and credits are available. "Tax reform will be an enormous driver for small businesses this year," Sullivan said. "We've waited a long time for this." I'm in agreement, but I still have some concerns. For starters, I'm not sure most businesses truly understand the impact of tax reform and how it will affect their companies. To them, I say please meet with your accountant as soon as possible and do this analysis. More importantly is the cost of tax reform. Lower taxes will drive growth and help employers make more investments and hire people. But, longer term, the potential deficits it could create (an estimated $1 to $4 trillion in the next ten years, according to some analysis) could have a damaging impact on the government's ability to raise finances and pay its bills. Currently, six percent of the federal budget goes to interest and as this share rises in the future, the money will have to come from - or out of - somewhere. Interest rates are going to double. Current interest rates - which are hovering near 1.5 percent - are historically low. The Fed has plans to increase rates over the next two years to as much as 3 percent as the economy continues to grow. 3 percent is still pretty low. But it's also a doubling of rates in a relatively short time period. This may be good for the banking industry, but it will certainly cause many businesses to re-evaluate their budgets and take proactive steps to lock in rates and secure financing as quickly as possible. A budget item that doubles is a concern for any manager trying to control cash and deciding where to invest money and an interest rate increase may very well eat into the tax reform benefits that businesses are expecting. Workplace issues continue to drive up costs. "Finding and keeping good employees is the number one challenge we're hearing from our members," Sullivan said. "This challenge is going to continue into the foreseeable future." A tight labor market is making it harder to get good, skilled people and its effects are just beginning to drive up wages. In addition, many regions around the country are raising minimum wages and the federal government may do the same in the next year or two (the Trump administration supports an increase from the current $7.25 per hour to somewhere around $10-11 per hour). The Department of Labor is planning on increasing the wages where certain salaried workers are entitled to overtime. The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission is continuing its busy schedule of pursuing companies that are discriminating or harassing minorities. None of this is bad news for the employee and most employers I know are sympathetic. But costs are costs, and the increased scrutiny on workplace issues - from office romances, questioning salary history, drug testing and hiring practices - adds another regulatory (and financial burden) to a company. No one, not even Sullivan, predicts an end to this trend anytime soon. Markets are unstable. The rise and fall of markets has an enormous impact on the psyche of consumers. When stocks are up and stable people feel wealthier and are more willing to open up their pocketbooks. Fluctuations create uncertainty and hold back buying.  Unfortunately, there has been a lot of uncertainty over the past few months, with the Dow Jones rising and falling by hundreds of points in a single day, exchange rates wavering and interest rates on the increase. The internet and social media have created an environment where a sneeze by someone in China causes a meltdown in New York. Business owners are challenged to find a relatively calm place to invest their profits and are always concerned about the buying plans of our easily-shaken customers. Finally, the mid-terms are looming. While not making any predictions, Sullivan admits that any election year brings changes that could affect business owners. This year is, of course, no different. With virtually all of Congress up for grounds, this year's mid-terms could potentially see a changeover in Congressional control. The result could mean a re-visiting of tax reform, changes in healthcare and even potential impeachment proceedings against the President. Business people like certainty. We try to avoid surprises. Unfortunately, and considering recent history, there's no certainty when it comes to the U.S. elections. *** But let's not panic, though OK? Things are good right now. The world is (still) relatively at peace. Capital is very accessible. The economy is growing. A pro-business sentiment pervades in Washington. I get it that these factors, and others, are making most business owners feel confident about the future. But my job is to look at risks and there are quite a few we're all facing in the coming months. Enough to temper my confidence, just a little. Radly Bates affiliates: S7 Group Radly Bates Index Radly Bates Consulting Radly Bates Capital Radly Bates Associates Radly Bates Digital Radly Bates Valuations Follow us on social: Facebook Twitter Linkedin Read the full article

[s7groupinc-blog]

Adam Radly Bob Bates: Small business owners may be over-confident

Adam Radly and Bob Bates have owned many small businesses. A recent poll show 2/3 of owners are optimistic, but is that how they should be thinking? https://www.inc.com/gene-marks/are-small-businesses-over-confident.html For over the past year and a half many surveys have reported rising optimism among small business owners. Most recently, the U.S. Chamber of Commerce - an organization that represents the interests of more than three million businesses of all sizes - announced the largest increase on record for its quarterly small business index that it conducts with insurance company MetLife. More than two-thirds of the businesses that participated in the survey said they have a positive outlook for the coming year. Of course, that's good news - and it's not hard to understand why. The economy is growing, people are working, regulations have been loosened and a pro-business administration is running Washington. But - and maybe it's just the accountant in me - I can't help but think that we may be just a little too confident. Why? Well, I hate to rain on the party, but here are a few of my concerns as we finish out 2018. Healthcare costs are rising. Healthcare costs are projected to significantly increase in 2019. The reasons for this increase are many. The ending of the individual mandate, along with more exemptions for certain companies that were once required to provide health insurance will reduce the market of insurance buyers. President Trump's withholding of subsidies, an increased scrutiny of hospital and pharmaceutical companies' billing practices and more hurdles for people trying to enroll on the insurance exchanges are forcing many insurance companies to pull back coverage or increase rates. This is a big problem for businesses because health insurance is one of our most significant expenses. But there is some good news: more choices coming. "There are options," Tom Sullivan, the Chamber's Vice President of Small Business Policy told me. By this he means new rules allowing businesses to form "association" health plans and to offer less-expensive "skinny" plans to their employees. "Controlling healthcare costs will continue to be a challenge," Sullivan said, "But businesses will have more ways to address this cost then they've had in years past." Tax reform has some drawbacks. Sullivan is very bullish about tax reform - and he has reason to be. Tax rates in 2018 are now significantly lower for most corporations and "pass-through" entities than in 2017. Certain deductions have, for things like investing in capital equipment and purchasing automobiles, increased. Personal rates have also fallen for many as well and more deductions and credits are available. "Tax reform will be an enormous driver for small businesses this year," Sullivan said. "We've waited a long time for this." I'm in agreement, but I still have some concerns. For starters, I'm not sure most businesses truly understand the impact of tax reform and how it will affect their companies. To them, I say please meet with your accountant as soon as possible and do this analysis. More importantly is the cost of tax reform. Lower taxes will drive growth and help employers make more investments and hire people. But, longer term, the potential deficits it could create (an estimated $1 to $4 trillion in the next ten years, according to some analysis) could have a damaging impact on the government's ability to raise finances and pay its bills. Currently, six percent of the federal budget goes to interest and as this share rises in the future, the money will have to come from - or out of - somewhere. Interest rates are going to double. Current interest rates - which are hovering near 1.5 percent - are historically low. The Fed has plans to increase rates over the next two years to as much as 3 percent as the economy continues to grow. 3 percent is still pretty low. But it's also a doubling of rates in a relatively short time period. This may be good for the banking industry, but it will certainly cause many businesses to re-evaluate their budgets and take proactive steps to lock in rates and secure financing as quickly as possible. A budget item that doubles is a concern for any manager trying to control cash and deciding where to invest money and an interest rate increase may very well eat into the tax reform benefits that businesses are expecting. Workplace issues continue to drive up costs. "Finding and keeping good employees is the number one challenge we're hearing from our members," Sullivan said. "This challenge is going to continue into the foreseeable future." A tight labor market is making it harder to get good, skilled people and its effects are just beginning to drive up wages. In addition, many regions around the country are raising minimum wages and the federal government may do the same in the next year or two (the Trump administration supports an increase from the current $7.25 per hour to somewhere around $10-11 per hour). The Department of Labor is planning on increasing the wages where certain salaried workers are entitled to overtime. The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission is continuing its busy schedule of pursuing companies that are discriminating or harassing minorities. None of this is bad news for the employee and most employers I know are sympathetic. But costs are costs, and the increased scrutiny on workplace issues - from office romances, questioning salary history, drug testing and hiring practices - adds another regulatory (and financial burden) to a company. No one, not even Sullivan, predicts an end to this trend anytime soon. Markets are unstable. The rise and fall of markets has an enormous impact on the psyche of consumers. When stocks are up and stable people feel wealthier and are more willing to open up their pocketbooks. Fluctuations create uncertainty and hold back buying.  Unfortunately, there has been a lot of uncertainty over the past few months, with the Dow Jones rising and falling by hundreds of points in a single day, exchange rates wavering and interest rates on the increase. The internet and social media have created an environment where a sneeze by someone in China causes a meltdown in New York. Business owners are challenged to find a relatively calm place to invest their profits and are always concerned about the buying plans of our easily-shaken customers. Finally, the mid-terms are looming. While not making any predictions, Sullivan admits that any election year brings changes that could affect business owners. This year is, of course, no different. With virtually all of Congress up for grounds, this year's mid-terms could potentially see a changeover in Congressional control. The result could mean a re-visiting of tax reform, changes in healthcare and even potential impeachment proceedings against the President. Business people like certainty. We try to avoid surprises. Unfortunately, and considering recent history, there's no certainty when it comes to the U.S. elections. *** But let's not panic, though OK? Things are good right now. The world is (still) relatively at peace. Capital is very accessible. The economy is growing. A pro-business sentiment pervades in Washington. I get it that these factors, and others, are making most business owners feel confident about the future. But my job is to look at risks and there are quite a few we're all facing in the coming months. Enough to temper my confidence, just a little. Radly Bates affiliates: S7 Group Radly Bates Index Radly Bates Consulting Radly Bates Capital Radly Bates Associates Radly Bates Digital Radly Bates Valuations Follow us on social: Facebook Twitter Linkedin Read the full article