#but the way things have been going so far this year im kind of scared

[ozz-ball]

im still trying to find places where it’s on the warmer side and the government there doesn’t want me as another toll on the statistic

(cw in tags i ranted)

[pinkaditty]

HI i love your works sm ,,, and i really love the way you write it just brings out soemtnhign in me ,,, but hear me out on leo kurosagi angst where leo keeps insulting pc and pc just took it well until he said something sensitive (maybe sth ab the way she eats? or sth abt her face etc etc) and hurt pc's feelings and he didnt feel bad when pc cried , but when he saw pc going over to sho and sho giving him dirty looks he feels remorseful but he didnt want his pride to crack so he blamed pc , and then when pc started avouding him he started mocking her but in the inside it hurt him and his pride slightly , afterwards he found out he actually has genuine feelings for pc but denies it , until he found out pc is now his bff's gf WOW i NEED him humbled 🤗🤗🤗

Pavlov's Ghoul (Leo Kurosagi x Reader x Sho Haizono; Tokyo Debunker)

hey anon this existing is UR FAULT. (ilysm ty 4 the idea) and i hope u don't mind that I added my own little twist 2 it... hehe! even if u didn't expect me 2 write anything u can't drop a fresh, juicy steak of an idea like this and expect me not 2 salivate and tear it 2 shreds via writing it out.

OMG also TYYYYYYY IM SOSO GLAD U LIKE MY WRITING YIPPEE!!!!!!!!! i hope this is up 2 ur standards anon

a/n: why does this exist? blame anon and my inner need 4 a bitchy boy 2 be humbled amen! also i feel like i've completed my tokyo debunker rite of passage... ive finally written leo angst... nirvana at last.

summary: leo gets fuckin pavloved LMAO! considered calling this "ecstasy" or something bc of the pill line but ohh my god "pavlov's ghoul" hit too hard i fear.

cw: this isn't dark imo but be warned as this is just a little bit crazy, the most insane kind of yearning ive ever written maybe. implied sexual encounters, multiple sexual innuendos, and some odd behavior. MINORS DNI AS PER USUALLLLLL!

Looking for Part 2? Click here!

Sho's kind, reasonably so. Leo knows this. Sho also has an infinite store of deeply repressed anger. Leo also knows this. It's the reason he's in Vagastrom, after all. A deep, roiling anger that seems to eat at him if he doesn't have an appropriate outlet to balance his mood. That's why he's such a good cook, why he's so good at fighting, why he's got an excellent sense of balance and rides his bike smoother than anyone else he knew. He's using these things as outlets for his anger. It's not Leo's fault that the occasional outing to trick and deceive another sexually repressed rich old man for money is something else Sho seems to derive stress relief from. And it's not Leo's fault that Sho continues to stick around with him after those jobs are done. It's never been a problem for either of them, as far as he can tell. At least, there were no problems until Little Miss Inspector showed up.

Suddenly, Sho didn't want to lie anymore. Suddenly, Sho wanted to go as far as to address you with the proper honorifics, ask for your help with setting up his food truck, and even generally spend time with you outside of that. And for what? Some trembling, scared, pathetic girl that knew nothing of the world of anomalies prior to her curse? Some girl doomed to "die" in less than one year, no less? He couldn't understand the kindness Sho showed you. It made no sense, nor any difference. You'd be dead soon, so what did it matter?

It's got to the point where he's begun to randomly put you down with petty insults and biting remarks. They usually consist of things like "Oh my god, even preschoolers know Anomalous Biological Basics! Come on Inspector, is your head screwed on right? Not even the Captain is this stupid." or "You remember your ability is useless when we need it, right? You'd be nothing more than a burden on missions if you can't even control this power. " or even "God, you're such a basic loser. Can't you find something else to do with your free time instead hang around Sho like a lovesick puppy? You're starting to look like that dog that's always around Kagami." and worse insults. He gets the occasional sidelong disapproving glance from Alan or even a slight furrowed brow from Sho, but it didn't matter to Leo. So long as he could slowly plant seeds of doubt in his fellow ghouls and put you down to satisfy his ego, even an odd look was negligible.

He couldn't even stand looking at you. The uniform they'd chosen for you was awful, didn't even highlight your curves. He hated the way you styled your hair, and always thought he could totally do it better. The way you seemed so relaxed around other ghouls pissed him off, why couldn't he be good company? He found you repulsive, unable to resist glaring at you from the corner of his eye whenever he could. He had to get rid of you somehow. He would never admit to feeling threatened by you; instead choosing to focus all that energy into believing you were simply throwing a wrench into his plans to live an easy, get-away-with-anything university life.

It's all come to a head today. Leo thinks he's had enough of seeing you at the food truck after hours, chatting it up with Sho. It's like he can't even catch this guy alone anymore. Before he knows it, he's made a beeline for the truck. His brand new shoes scuff on the brick path in his rush, and eventually begin to stain green on the grass, his brisk stride tearing through the verdant lawn. He tries not to let his anger show on his face, but it's evident in his posture and pace. He forcefully sidles himself into the conversation, leaning on the service counter next to you, not even waiting for you to finish speaking before he pipes up. "Wow, here again, huh? And here I thought a basic bitch like you would know her place! That mouth of yours must be good for something if he keeps a chatterbox like you around."

The chill settles into the air almost immediately despite his candid tone and relaxed, smug smile. He's so focused on your reaction that he hardly notices the look Sho gives him, twisted with displeasure and confusion. He watches as you visibly falter, your lopsided smile fading into a barely-there frown. He stares, unrepentant, laughing internally. This was the reaction he wanted.

He turns towards Sho and raises an eyebrow at his look. "What? She can take it." Sho's expression visibly wavers, and Leo fully expects him to back down, as he usually does. But instead, Sho turns to you and his face grows pale. Leo rolls his eyes, assuming Sho is totally overreacting, and turns to you. He stiffens at your visible tears. Okay, totally not what he expected, but come on. This was the insult that made you cry?

Leo notices Sho is at your side in record speed, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, and gently drawing your hunched form away, giving Leo a harsh look. Leo simply scoffs. As far as he was concerned, your reaction was pathetic. It wasn't going to stop him from having any fun.

This. Under no circumstances should this hurt. At all.

Leo had noticed you'd been avoiding him. You would slink away if he so much as entered the same room as you. You wouldn't look him in the eyes if he approached, keeping your expression impassive. Sometimes you'd just outright ignore him. It was beginning to become a bit of a nuisance. He couldn't properly mock you if you weren't there to witness it happening, or didn't give him the reaction he wanted. It was odd. When he faced these feelings head-on, it almost felt like he wanted your attention somehow, even if he didn't quite want it to feel like that. A nagging feeling told him that maybe he went too far with his latest insult. He didn't want to admit that, but something told him he did. It was in the way both you and Sho acted around him.

Sho was missing a lot of Leo's calls lately, sometimes not even bothering to call back. Leo partially understood, what with the food truck business booming and all, but he didn't appreciate being made to wait for his own best friend who's usually at his beck and call. Not to mention the flat, terse responses he would get from Sho more often than not nowadays. Leo knew Sho was miffed with him from last week's incident, but as far as Leo was concerned, things still ended in his favor. He hadn't seen you around Sho much anymore, which means he could go back to how things were. No more pesky little honor student to reign upon his days any longer! Sure, there was the biting underlying feeling that maybe he'd screwed things up, but one ride on the back of Sho's motorcycle, going wherever Leo wanted as per usual, and he was living the dream again. No way everything would change over a silly, insignificant insult.

For a short while, he begins to get bolder, openly mocking you when he does come across you. His originally surface-level remarks become rather personal, even using your eventual death as a way to tease you. From "You know, I'm surprised you haven't done anything to change up that unflattering look, considering you're dying soon. Ever considered dressing up a little? You might get some attention before you die." to "Hey, Little Miss Inspector! With the number of men you talk to around campus, I'm surprised nobody's written you off as a whore yet!", and worse, of course. He continues to get no such reaction out of you, and it frustrates him to no end. Why couldn't you just frown? Shrink away? Or even retort something just as scathing back to him? Your lack of entertainment towards his endless ridicule reduced his motivation, and slowly, it ended up dying off. Soon, he left you alone altogether, not talking to you unless necessary, mimicking your actions. In a way, some part of him hopes maybe this will be what gets your attention. Even if he can't quite admit to himself that your attention, regardless of whether it's positive or negative, is what he wants.

It's late, but Vagastrom students don't go to bed until far later. And Leo needs a favor.

His crushing lack of success in garnering any sort of attention or reaction or rise from you had driven him to a point. He didn't want to apologize to you or anything, but this new habit of you ignoring him was beginning to stoke his displeasure. In his pondering, he remembered how easily Sho captured your gaze and wondered if maybe he'd have any idea of what Leo could do to at least put an end to this stalemate.

Leo's reluctance shows in the way he drags his feet on the path to Sho's room, less than eager to confront him for his opinion on something so shamelessly trivial. Why was he wasting his time with this anyway? Surprisingly, the lack of a solid answer to that question did not stop his trek. A twinge in his chest told him he knew exactly why he was "wasting his time".

In the month it had been since he'd made you cry, the nagging feeling had only gotten harsher. His mind kept flickering back to the shock of your tears and how he'd not bothered to consider it much further. An uncomfortable guilt had made itself known starting then. He never really expected you to cry; he just wanted a mild reaction. He wanted your eyes on him, flashing with anger, just for a moment. Your ire was a saccharine pill laced with ecstasy that he'd gladly crush with his teeth to speed up his high. Maybe it'd be too much to say he got off on it, but he enjoyed the way you used to roll your eyes at any comments from him a little more than he cared to admit. Now, he wouldn't even get that. It'd be rare for you to so much as make fleeting eye contact with him, not that something as small as that would be enough for Leo. Part of him was willing to accept that maybe, he'd gone too far. Maybe. But how else was he supposed to monopolize your attention when you give that out so freely? To his best friend, even?

He didn't know it was possible to covet something so terribly. He found himself wondering why he couldn't catch your attention in the same way as the other ghouls? In his quest for the same attention you gave so freely to the kinder, softer ghouls, he found another version of your attention. It was negative, but it was attention nonetheless. Your sweet, honeyed rage seemed to fill his cravings and then some, so he continued to devour it under the guise of "chasing you away" or "putting you down" or "satisfying his ego". In truth, for whatever reason, there was a rather bothersome and persistent envious longing, a covet, for your attention. Leo wants to vomit. A part of him denies it still, pushing his needless feelings to the back of his brain. He had something to do, and he ought to focus on that. What good would mere wallowing do?

He makes it to Sho's room and almost considers turning back. He stares at the door, his expression morphing into a complicated look. He shifted his feet, his slippers sliding against the floor. It was quite clear he really did not want to do this. At all. He sighs and grumbles indignantly, putting his head in his hands in an attempt to gather some courage. This couldn't be that hard, right? Just in, ask Sho a question, get an answer, then out. The only reason this was easier said than done was just because it could potentially show Leo was capable of feeling remorse, which would make this conversation leagues harder than it needed to be. He shakes his head and straightens up, preparing to knock, when he notices something.

Sho's room was... unusually quiet. Usually, Leo almost always heard some loud music or a cooking show running in the background, but he couldn't hear anything this time. Sho couldn't possibly be asleep. As late as it was, the only person who Leo knew for a fact could stay up past him was Sho, regardless of how much sleep he had gotten. There was no chance Sho was asleep. Believe it or not, Leo doesn't like to spy on Sho. But curiosity overwhelms him. What could he possibly be doing that would render the whole room in silence?

"Haxs," he whispers, listening closely.

The first thing he hears is the cling-clanging of Alan hard at work on a car in the garage. Not the sound he was meant to be focusing on. Then he hears endless jeering and loud insults shouted, though they're all muffled like they're underground. Another pit fight? Still, not the sound he's looking for. He sifts through the sounds he hears before he settles on the one coming directly from Sho's room.

Voices. Groaning, strained voices. The sound of wet skin against wet skin. Panting. Sho's panting, specifically. He could tell by the slight nasally tone of it.

Leo felt his face gradually warm. Christ, of course it'd be this he'd be up to. Leo muffles a laugh into the collar of his pajamas, keeping his hand clamped over his mouth as his body shook with mirth. When he finally calms down, he slinks off to the corner down the hall, and hides himself there, shamelessly still listening to it. Sho's a sly dog. Leo certainly didn't expect him to be getting up to anything this soon. He leans his body against the wall, crossing his arms and drumming his fingers on his arm, waiting for Sho to finish. He smirks to himself, as though enjoying the vocal show.

...

He had to admit, whoever he was with had gorgeous moans. He'd have to ask Sho if he'd be willing to pass this girl's number. He could use a couple things to get his mind off of you.

...

Okay, he had to stop listening to this now. He lifts his stigma and holds his hands over his ears for good measure, partially trying to hide the furious red blush across his face. As pretty as that girl's moans were, he was not going to listen to his best friend's climax. No thanks. He huffs out an impatient breath as his cheeks cool down, leaning his back against the wall, leaning his head back until it hit the wall with a dull thump. Now he just had to wait it out. He knew damn well Sho would never let a girl stay over. He'd never hear the end of it from yours truly, Leo.

Leo's right. It isn't long before he hears the door to Sho's room click, and hears murmured voices travel down the hall. He smirks, rushing down the hall in the opposite way, so it doesn't look like he was listening the whole time. He listens, waiting for a cue of some sort.

"Shame you have to go, you know." Sho's voice. Laced with relief, pleasure, and a thick tiredness. Leo's skin crawled. He could practically feel the smile in Sho's voice.

"It's not so bad." The girl responded with a light and playful tone, her voice seemingly much more put together than Sho's despite all that moaning. The voice sounded oddly familiar, but Leo brushed it off. Must be someone he shares classes with. "I've got things to do anyway. But it was nice to spend some time with you, Sho." Eagh. Leo internally hopes this girl isn't the type to get easily attached.

"...Yeah. Same to you. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Finally, he heard the girl's footsteps trailing down the hall, heading in his direction. Leo hurriedly pulls his phone out of his pocket, making sure the screen was bright as he flipped through the latest trends. He made a point of not looking up until he heard the footsteps nearing him.

He looks up, prepared for a simple glance, but ends up being rooted to the spot.

It was you. Of course, it was you. Who else would be taunting enough?

Despite himself, his gaze remains glued to you, his head turning as you walk past him. For a moment, Leo thinks you're just going to ignore him again. Then, suddenly, your gaze meets his in a flash, and he stiffens, almost out of fear. The way your eyebrows crease and the way your lips twitch downward almost makes him salivate. You were clearly displeased to see him. Even so, he notices you don't slow down, continuing your way down the hall, not bothering to crane your neck to look at him.

Leo remains rooted to the spot, watching your figure as you leave. His jaw hangs open slightly, his chest heaving with shocked breaths. His eyes are wide open, pools of gold reflecting your retreating form. His hand trembles as he holds his phone, the latest trends left neglected in the wake of a single mean-spirited glance from you. He feels his heart pound mercilessly in his chest, as though confirming what he'd tried so desperately to deny.

All at once, anger and arousal seem to grip him simultaneously. Anger at himself for feeling arousal from a mere negative glance from you. He couldn't possibly have craved your attention so viscerally he'd happily accept mere scraps. And yet here he was, a lap dog, watching you as you leave as though silently begging for another glance, another chance to watch your eyes burn with that familiar, delicious anger, another meal to satisfy his starved heart.

For a moment, he would have gladly followed you, and pestered you to death, just to irk you and become a willing victim of your wrath. Anything... just for that attention.

a/n: wow. no stop why am i kind of in shock at the poetic lines i kinda think i did a great job! but 4 whatever reason it's always the writing i think was total shit that does actual numbers *sob*

aghhhh in any case. no i don't have an excuse 4 this. my requests are still technically closed. i just... couldn't help myself... so consider this a freebie. regardless though if u like my writing feel free 2 fill the fuck out of my inbox idnc i love hearing from y'all.

also TUMBLR KEEPS TURNING OFF MY REBLOGS!!!! GRAH!!!!!! tumblr hates me y'all they keep catching on2 me 4 writing porn :( so please if u really wanna show appreciation and tumblr won't let u reblog, leave a comment! those make me happy :)

anyways. usual note that i adore likes, comments, and tagged reblogs!! please tell me how much you like my writing, i love to hear it and it keeps me going! until next timeeeeeeee!

EDIT: I FORGOTTT QUICK EXPLAINATION: im assuming everyone knows pavlov's dog and the whole classical conditioning theory. this story is basically that mixed with the mere-exposure effect.

neutral stimulus: mc's presence

natural response: leo's arousal/excitement

response-producing stimulus: mc's anger

mere-exposure effect: psychological effect in which a like or dislike of things is developed merely due 2 familiarity.

[cloudcountry]

SUMMARY: to blanc, you are the change he needed, and your pressing secret won't change that.

WARNINGS: mentions of mortality, blood. Vampire stuff.

COMMENTS: ok ok so @vivislosingitagain here is my thought process YOU like biting people and sucking their blood so YOU are a vampire. and HEY GUESS WHAT vampires are IMMORTAL kind of. and im pretty sure blanc is really fucking old so i think mortality angst would work great with him BUT WHAT IF HIS PARTNER WAS AS OLD AS HE WAS AND BIT HIM. that's the post.

also im so sorry if blanc is out of character i have seen this man three times in the routes ive played + the prologue oops.

It’s a clear night. The stars are bright in the sky, just as they were hundreds and hundreds of years ago. Blanc doesn’t know if they’ll ever change, but he takes comfort in their consistency. They’re stationary, unmoving, unshifting, just like him. He’s always been in Cradle, long enough to see the shattering of bonds between the armies and the first Alice fall. He’s seen the skirmishes and the blood and the carnage.

And he’s seen you, the one who followed him into the rabbit hole and into Cradle.

He remembers thinking you were cute. He remembers Oliver scolding him for speaking his mind, and he remembers you tearing your eyes away from him, a shy smile on your lips. You’ve always been alluring, in a way he never anticipated, and it makes him wonder if someone from the Land of Reason can really be magical like the people of Cradle.

It’s no use though—he knows the passage of time will take you away. He knows love (what he feels for you, there’s no doubt about it) is a powerful force, but it cannot break the way the sun and moon rise and fall, it cannot stop the stars from dying light years away, it cannot stop your inevitable aging.

He knows this, and yet he can’t let go. He greets you in the morning with a soft pat on your head, leaning over your bed as you stretch and yawn. His gaze softens when you rub your eyes and look over at him, and you’re looking at him like he’s the only thing you ever want to see.

He’s so selfish—he wants so badly for you to only look at him.

For someone so keenly aware of how mortal you are, he knows he's being awfully flippant about it. It’s the folly of man, to be so foolish as to yearn, but there’s always the possibility that fate will take pity on his poor soul and listen to its cries for his love to stay.

And so, the next night, a night that should be no different from any other, he breaks his routine. He keeps you up late, chatting over tea as the full moon rises in the sky, asking you if you want to go home. He watches you as you go quiet, your previously bright smile fading into a thoughtful frown. You’re staring into your tea as if it can give you the answer, and Blanc hopes the tea will give you the same answer he would.

I wish you would stay. I wish you would stay with me. I wish you would think I’m worth it. I wish that if I had to be hurt then you would be the one to hurt me because I’ve never loved anyone like you and I doubt I ever will. I wish you would be the one to thrust this dagger into my heart so fate doesn’t have the chance.

“...I want to stay with you.” you say, and Blanc knows you’re hiding something from him but he can’t bring himself to ask when you already look so worried.

“Are you sure?” he asks, reaching across the table to place a hand on yours.

Your head jerks up and you meet his gaze with parted lips—almost like you want to tell him but are far too scared.

“You can tell me anything.” he stresses, squeezing your hand gently.

“I’m not...” you purse your lips, looking away again as you choose your words carefully, “I’m not having doubts about staying here, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

Blanc holds back his sigh of relief in favor of another inquisitive glance. Your brow furrows and he knows you feel his stare, your cute canines poking at your lower lip as you gnaw on it pensively.

“I have a secret I don’t think I’m ready to share yet.” you say softly, turning back to him, “I will someday. I just...need time.”

Blanc laughs, a sound that's full of relief and love and sounds like the wind chimes that hang in your no longer temporary bedroom’s window, the ones that have been there since you came and will be there when—if—you leave.

“Darling.” he breathes, staring straight into your eyes with so much love, “I have all the time in the world.”

The full moon sinks beneath the horizon and the sun comes up again. The teacups from the night before have been cleaned and placed back on their shelves, and the cake you two cut slices out of remains in the fridge. There are still traces of you within the house—your skincare is still in the bathroom, your toothbrush is next to his, and your chair still has a cushion of your favorite color. None of those things have been removed because you didn’t leave.

You’re still in your bedroom, sleeping soundly, but this time Blanc is there with you, his arms wrapped around you. His body is tangled with yours, your legs intertwining as the bed sheets knot themselves around your limbs. Your head is resting right over his heart, the part of him that’s pounding away for you. Gently, he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and stares down at your sleeping face, the face that shows him all of your thoughts and emotions, the face that belongs to the person who loves him enough to stay.

He wakes you up with a kiss on your forehead, a kiss on the bridge of your nose, a kiss on your left eyelid and a kiss on your right, a kiss on your jaw—

He sighs when you start to stir, propping yourself up on your elbows. The bed sheets fall off your body like water cascading down the side of a cliff, and your bleary eyes have never looked more beautiful. He lays there, admiring you in the morning light as the wind chimes chime, the soft breeze from the cracked open window ruffling through your hair.

You shiver.

“Darling,” Blanc calls, placing a hand on your shoulder, “Good morning.”

You smile when you turn to look at him, and you allow yourself to fall back against the mattress next to him.

“Good morning.” you murmur, your nails tracing the curve of his cheekbone before tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, “You look so handsome.”

Ever the charmer, he’s rarely been charmed himself. And so he does the only thing he deems appropriate, and thanks you with a kiss on the back of your hand.

Weeks pass, and Blanc finds himself growing into this new routine. You're a sign of change, that he knows for sure. His own room remains vacant for the most part unless you decide to pull him into his room instead of your own when you’re ready for bed. It makes no difference to him where you go, only that he can follow you like the lovesick fool he is.

Except you’re not leading him to either of your bedrooms tonight.

You’re leading him outside, under the pale moonlight and into the chilly nighttime breeze. He looks up at the full moon and holds your hand a little tighter.

“Thank you for giving me time.” you say, the wind swelling as it passes between the two of you and further into the night, “I’m ready to tell you what I’ve been hiding from you now. It’s...not fair to keep it from you any longer.”

“I understand,” he smiles softly, cupping your cheek, “Go ahead.”

“I’m a vampire.” you say, and it takes his brain a few moments to catch up, “I’ve...found it hard to get blood in Cradle but since meeting with Kyle’s he’s managed to get me blood when I need it. I don’t like drinking from animals or people but it...has to be done for me to stay alive.”

Blanc’s brain is whirring as you spill your guts to him, your mouth moving faster and faster as you explain how despised vampires are in the Land of Reason, how people view them as monsters and how you’re certain you’re cursed.

Cursed. What a funny word to say to him.

“Is that why your canines are so sharp?” he blurts, leaning closer to your face.

You stop talking, bending backward just a bit at his sudden closeness.

“I—I’m sorry, what?” you ask, looking confused.

“Ah, well....I always thought they were cute.” he smiles kindly, brushing his thumb over your cheekbone.

“I...” you blink owlishly before shaking your head in disbelief, “Blanc, I just told you I’m a vampire.”

“Indeed you did.”

Your mouth falls open as if looking for the right words to say, and yet you come up with nothing.

“You can feed from me if you wish. I don’t want you to suffer any longer.” he offers like its the most natural thing in the world.

Still, you say nothing.

And then he murmurs your name, as soft as the flower petals brushing against your ankles.

“I don’t want to use you like that. I don’t want you to be a food source for me.” you grit your teeth, staring at the ground like you couldn’t be more ashamed, “I don’t want to be the monster the Land of Reason made me out to be.”

“You’re not. I give myself to you willingly, and I'll do it over and over again.” Blanc murmurs, hands slipping away from you.

It takes you a moment to realize he’s slowly undoing the buttons on his shirt, leaving his collarbone open to the nighttime breeze and your eyes.

“My love.” he opens his arms for you and his shirt slips off his shoulder, leaving his skin vulnerable—

“I give myself to you.”

And he pulls you into his chest, as he whispers words of love telling you that you can bite him, drink from him, take all that you need and that it will be okay because he’d give you everything if you asked for it, and that you changed his life for the better, you brought springtime’s flowers and winter’s shimmering ice and summer’s warm sunlight and autumn’s delicate, beautiful leaves to a life that was so repetitive and boring until you arrived—a life that belonged to the man you see before you but not anymore because its yours and it will always be yours.

Tears prick your eyes as you kiss his skin, worshiping each freckle and small scar you can reach. Your canines poke insistently at his skin and you ignore the urge for one, two, three, four, five seconds before your mouth opens and you bite down, hoping the small gasp that leaves his lips isn’t one of pain. You’re careful not to take too much but it tastes so good and who knew drinking from the one you loved could make you feel so happy and full.

Blanc looks up at the moon as you feed, happiness and adoration blurring his vision as he thinks about you, you who trusted him enough to bite him, to tell him who you were, you who stayed behind for him even though you could have left.

He stares up at the moon and sighs because he’s in love. He’s in love with you.

And after you’re done, after you pull away and lick the puncture marks to soothe them, after you press a dozen more kisses to his skin, Blanc still loves you. His blood is smeared around your mouth but he pulls you in anyway, kissing you with everything he has because you deserve nothing less than that.

And he loves you.

Over and over again, he loves you.

He doesn’t know how long he’ll be aging or how long you will have by his side, but he knows that if you will forever be his constant, he’ll come out okay in the end.

[starfxkrinc]

hey moony! can you pls write ab a conjugal visit with felon!jj. love you. smooches

less conjugal visit and more "first day out" fuck

you were trying to stall, doing your best to divert jj's attention away from the cleavage of your shirt, but it was impossible. he was a man starved, having gone 6 years without the touch of a woman and only having your letters to go off of.

there was a serious of poorly thought out decisions that led you here. from signing up to be an inmates penpal, to the explicit descriptions of what you'd do if you met to the risqué polaroids you attached to said letters. in your defense it didn't seem like jj would be getting out any time soon.

just your luck he got off on good behavior.

the meager meal was barely enough to distract him, even as he wolfed down what had to be his first good meal since he got out that morning. you on the other hand struggled to eat your fries, trying your best to chug down the ice cream soda he got you as a treat.

"you said it was your favorite." he had nudged it towards you, looking deceptively sweet with those blue eyes even has his large tattooed hand spelled danger. "and you're gonna need your energy. trust me."

still, you drunk it down, grateful for the rush of sugar to snap your sense as he paid for the meal. the motel wasn't far, a quick five minute drive on the back of his bike and before you knew it you were being walked through the door, with his lips on yours--his still salty and yours still sweet-- and a hand palming your ass.

jj barely got the two of you im, but he deposited you on the bed, turning to obsessively turn all the locks before he took off his shirt, fumbling with his pants and boots in his fervor to get naked.

"um, jj i don't know bout all this-" you sit still, shivering in the a/c chilled room overtly aware of how much of your ass hang out your shorts and the way your nipples are poking through the thin fabric of your shirt. there's no denying you look like the kind of girl that'd be here.

"aw cmon, don't pussy out on me now cupcake, you're just excited. bet you didn't think you'd see me so soon." he's right in front of you now. big and broad and glowing even in the dim lamplight, "talked all that shit in the letters now look at you. all scared."

you're defensive, "m'not scared." you were but he didn't need to know that.

"yes y'are. pretty little thing like you don't know what you're in for. a man has needs babydoll. and when those needs aint been met he gets a little..." he twists a hand beside his head, "cagey. now relax i aint gonna hurt you. take your clothes off."

shaking, you do. peeling your shorts off as you keep your eye on the bulge in his pants. when you take your shirt off, he gets so hard the head of his cock pokes out the top of his waistband.

you reach for him, tugging his bottoms down until your faced with every inch of jj's red, throbbing dick. suddenly, you become very aware of your months of involuntary abstinence, "is that gonna fit?" you moan, watching a bead of pre drip from where it pooled in his foreskin.

"i'll make it."

jj hauls you up by the back of the neck, kissing you hungrily before he turns you around to sprawl on your stomach. he spreads you open from the back so he can trace his thumb from your sticky hole to your clit, "that's what the fuck im talkin about." he mutters more to himself than you, adjusting so he can press into you.

the moan he lets out just from the heat of your pussy makes you shudder, then you tense at the first stretch of resistance.

"wait. jj, wait go slow, you're too-"

he pauses, "you done this before right?"

jj doesn't give you time to answer before he sinks in, bottoming out on the first thrust with a sticky squelch as you yelp underneath him.

"shit, just stay down babydoll. let me take this." he sets a punishing pace, holding you down with his hands on your hips as he fucks you rough and steady. you've never heard a man as loud as him before--panting and whining as you suck him in.

but you're not faring much better, each smack of his hips against your ass sends you sliding up the bed, you're stuffed so full you don't know whether to crawl away or throw your ass back for more. there's no denying it, you've never been fucked like this before. like the wet snatch of your pussy was a lifeline.

whoever was on the other side of the wall was in hell. the sounds coming from the two of you were ridiculous as you begged for him to slow down. the way he battered your cervix and pressed relentlessly against that sticky spot inside you had you in tears, clenching around him sporadically as you came. over and over from the overstimulation. there was no build up, no slow spread across your body as it hit you like a train, leaving you delirious.

"atop--stop--i can't, ohh my god, it hurts! i can't stop--"

jj clamps a hand over your mouth as he drops down, covering your body with his as he picks up the pace. he's slamming into you so hard all you can do is let out little squeaks.

"nuh uh, you need that sugar i--fuck--promise." he groans loud and long in your ear with his sweaty body sticking to yours as he pumps you full of cum. you can't tell which of you is shaking more.

"fuck. don't know who needed that more you or me." he reaches over to grab a cigarette, lighting it then taking a long drag, "i normally last longer than that sugar, swear i do. just cut me some slack alright it's been 6 years."

all you can do is let out a snort, feeling your eyes growing heavy as your body calms, "food. i want food."

jj smiles, "good. gonna need all the food we can get i booked us for 3 nights."

[6ix9inewiturmom]

Parents Basement - Chris Sturniolo

Summary: chris came to meet your parents but he got turned on in the middle of our pool match in your parents basement

Warnings: Smut, p in v, unprotected sex (don’t try at home!!) degradation, mouth covering (?), dom!chris, Sub!fem!reader, use of Y/N, slight choking (lemme know if i missed anything!

A/N: I HOPE U GUYS ENJOY THIS AND HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAY/NIGHT/EVENING!! ILY ALL!!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Chris and I have been dating for about 6 months now, i recently just told my mom and dad about him and she INSISTED on having him over to meet them, I was nervous as HELL, i’ve brought over one of my past boyfriends home ONCE, my dad hated him, absolutely DESPISED him, i mean he did cheat on me in the end but im just scared my parents won’t like chris, i mean he’s sweet, he’s kind, he actually cares for me, and he’s incredibly sexy.

“ma” chris softly rubs my shoulder as im sitting in the couch thinking of every way things can go wrong. “you ready?” he kisses my cheek softly handing me my keys since i can drive and he refuses to get his license at 20 years old.

“mhm” i hummed trying to put on a ‘convincing chris im okay but in reality im shitting myself because i’m so scared’ smile hoping he won’t catch on.

“nu uh Y/N stop right there i know that smile, what’s wrong love” his gaze softens as he holds my shoulders trying to get me to open up.

i sigh before answering chris “you’re the second boy i’ve ever brought home and im scared they won’t like you, i mean i don’t care if they don’t it’s just i want them to like you so they can see what i see in you, and why i want to get married to you someday and have little mini chris’ running around and i jus-“ he cuts me off.

“woah woah hang on, i know we’ve only been together 6 months and we’ve never actually had the ‘where do we see each other in the future’ talk but i didn’t know you felt that way?” he pulls me into a tight embrace “well i can only hope they love me” he kisses the top of my head “i love you Y/N, but i hope you know you’re kinda stuck with me now” he smiles down at me

“you’ve been stuck with me since the day u took me on that date with ur brothers cause you insisted on picking me up” i smiled back at him getting on my tip toes to give him a peck on the lips “now let’s go we’re gonna be late” i sat dragging his hand out the door and getting in the car.

the entire car ride wasn’t silent, Chris and i were talking about OUR future together and what we wanted for us, how many kids we wanted, if i would be okay with twins or triplets, you know the little stuff. what felt like forever we finally arrived at my parents home. i get out of the car waiting for chris as he steps out of the car and grabs my hand we began walking to the front door.

as we got to the front door, i knocked and my mom immediately answered the door with the biggest smile on her face “OH Y/N MY LOVE YOUVE GOTTEN SO MUCH MORE BEAUTIFUL THEN THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU” she hugs me quickly before pulling away smiling

“mom, this is chris, my boyfriend” i say looking at chris smiling at him

“so you’re the handsome boy my daughter tells me so much about hm?” my mom says smirking at me.

chris’ smile brightens and holds his hand out for her “yes ma’am, you can call me christopher if you would like too mrs.Y/L/N”

“oh chris is fine by me, and it’s just Nora please, the mrs makes me feel far too old” she smiles shaking his hand “come on in you guys, your father is far too excited to meet him”

we both walk in holding hands again. “RICHARD, YOUR DAUGHTER AND FUTURE SON IN LAW ARE HERE TURN YOURE HOCKY OFF AND COME JOIN US” my mother yells from the bottom of the staircase.

chris pulls me to the side to whisper in my ear “you didn’t tell me your dad likes hockey??” he smiles at me with an amused expression on his face

“how do you think i got a love for hockey chris?” i laugh slightly at his comment.

“oh i’ve got this in the bag ma” he shoots me his signature smirk before looking back up at my mom.

“come in the dining room, i’ve got you’re favorite casserole waiting on you love” my mom leads chris and i into the dining room sitting us down at the table across from where my mom and dad normally sit.

my dad comes downstairs and sits next to my mom and chris automatically stands up and puts his hand out “im christopher Mr.Y/L/N, thank you for allowing me into your home” he smiles as my dad shakes his hand and shoots me a proud smile. “call me Richard please” he smiles softly at chris before sitting down.

“so chris did you play any sports in high school?” my mother questions as she serves chris and i’s plate

“um yes ma’am i did, i played hockey and lacrosse with my brothers throughout high school” he says softly.

“oh Y/N, i love him already, please keep this one around dear” my dad smiling at me “what position did you play in hockey?” my dad looks at chris

“oh me and my brother were left and right defensemen” he smiles at my dad

“so you were the people beating people up hm?” he jokes

“yes sir i was” chris chuckles and looks over at me who’s too worried and just stuffing food in my face the whole conversation

“well before richard talks your ears off about hockey, how did you meet Y/N? she never told me the entire story about it” my mother smiles at chris.

i have my reason for not telling her, chris and i met at Tara’s party a little over a year ago, i got too drunk, chris was half hammered and we hooked up in a public bathroom nearby, so chris and i discussed that we wouldn’t tell his or my family that story just because well for obvious reasons we were underage drinking, and we hooked up, so we decided we’d them a different PG-13 version of the story.

“we had a mutual friend who was having a friends birthday, you know nothing too big, and i thought she was pretty and i asked for her number and we became friends and now here we are” he smiled at me before looking back up at me who had already nervously finished my food.

“oh Chris that’s so sweet” my mother says with a smile at both of us.

the rest of dinner went great, no problems, my dad and chris bonded over their love for hockey, my mom and i were talking about how well my dad loves chris and other little stuff catching up with each other.

“Y/N your father just put in a pool table in the basement if you and chris wanted to try it out, him and i have been working a lot and haven’t gotten the chance to so if you two would like go right ahead baby” my mom smiles at me.

i look over at chris “you want to see my amazing pools skills?” i smirk

“oh you’re on Y/N” chris says as i stand up leading him and i to the basement.

walking down to the basement which had been completely remodeled since i had moved out of the house chris had this glare in his eyes, he had something planned i just couldn’t put my finger on it.

chris and i grabbed a pool stick and we started to play a round of pool. halfway through me whooping his ass in pool he came up behind me and placed his hands over mine trying to “fix my stance”

“remember to keep you’re hands here ma” he says at a low tone in my ear causing shivers to go down my spine and his body getting closer to mine pressing his hard-on against my ass.

“chris” i whisper “we can’t do this here” i roll my eyes and turn around to look at him and his eyes were now filled with lust as he bites his lower lip.

“yeah? why not? you can be a good girl and be quiet for me yeah?” he places his hand on my cheek rubbing my cheek up and down caressing it.

i groan softly “fuck it, but if you get us caught-“ he cuts me off by kissing my lips softly “then i guess you’re gonna have to hush that filthy mouth of yours” he says smirking.

he presses his lips into mine once again this time with more force and hunger than last time using his tongue and fighting for dominance playing with the top of my jeans.

he picked me up and turns me around so i’m bent over the pool table ripping my jeans down to my ankles tapping my legs giving me the hint to step out of them and bending down so he’s at eye level with my soaping wet pussy.

using his finger to spread his juices around on my pussy causing a groan to escape his lips and a soft moan out of mine. “you’re so fucking wet” he stands up pulling his pants down stepping out of them and reaching his hand to my mouth “spit” i obeyed “good fucking girl” he uses his spit to spread on his cock.

he took his cock in his hand and lines himself up with my entrance and pushing just the tip in in letting a whimper out of my lips. he takes his hand to cover my mouth. “as much as i love the nasty shit you say with my cock buried in your pussy you gotta be quiet baby” he groans in my ear before bottoming out biting his lower lip stopping his groan from escaping from his lips throwing his head back and starts slowly thrusting in me.

“fuck ma, you’re so fucking tight” he whispers picking up his pace with a small whimper leaving my lips and my eyes rolling back to my head trying to use his arm that’s now around my throat to hold on to in order to keep my balance.

“chris” i whimper in almost a cry

“am i making you feel good baby? you like this?” he growls in my ear

“y-yes” i softly cry out trying not to moan so loudly as he is repeatedly kissing my cervix with his tip at almost an ungodly speed.

my walls tighten around him signaling i was getting closer “someone’s close hm? you gonna cum all over my cock yeah?” he grunts holding his arm around my neck for his balance still trusting behind me.

“mh-mhm yes” i nod vigorously biting my lip canceling out my moans.

“do it, cum all over my cock baby” he growls in my ear kissing my neck sending me over the edge as my legs began to shake and i release all over his cock.

his thrust get sloppy as he buried his head in my neck biting my shoulder as he releases in me softly pulling out kissing my cheek.

“you did so good baby” he says softly helping me get my pants back on “we can shower when we get back to my house” he smiles at me.

“then let’s go say our goodbyes because i have to drive, and my legs hurt baby” i say smiling back at him placing a kiss on his lips heading back upstairs to my parents which is just my mom considering my dads back upstairs watching hockey probably asleep.

“i’m sorry guys but we gotta get going, thank you for inviting us over” i say kissing my moms cheek pulling her into a hug.

“thank you for inviting me over Nora” he smiled over at my mom holding his hand out.

“no no i give hugs chris” my mother says pulling chris into a hug “i expect to see you around more” she smiles pulling away “and ill make sure to tell richard you guys left, he really likes him Y/N” she smiles at me.

“i’m glad, bye mom!” i say exiting my parents house and stepping into my car with chris in the passenger seat.

“well that went better then i expected” i say starting the car and pulling out of the driveway.

“you had nothing to be worried about ma, i have a way with parents” he winks at me smiling at me causing me to giggle.

“thank you chris” i say smiling at him before turning my focus back on the road

“anytime princess, thank you for letting me meet your parents, now you gotta meet mine, cause my mom already loves you and she’s never even met you” he chuckles.

“how much do you talk about me to your mom chris” i laugh back at him.

“focus on the road Y/N” chris says in his attempt to change the subject.

“i’d love to meet your mom chris” i say looking softly at chris as we make our way back to his shared home with his brothers.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A/N pt 2 IDK HOW TO FEEL AB THIS I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY THIS!! 🩷

XOXO

gabs 💋

[stevieharringtonwifeguy]

omega cheerleader steve in his senior year of high school, walking up to the hidden table in the woods in his game day cheer outfit, looking for alpha eddie munson, local dealer. he asks for some weed, and eddie's like okay, thirty bucks. and steve's like oh no 😔 that's so much 🥺 i don't know if i can afford that 😏 but eddie's just sitting there like ???? aren't you rich???

and steve just. blinks at him for a second. tries again. 'oh man, i forgot my wallet, is there any other way i can pay you?' he says, biting his lip and looking up at eddie through his lashes in that way he KNOWS makes all the alphas go wild

'uh. no. come back when you have money man what are you talking about'

so steve sighs and completely drops the act like goddamn it munson im trying to get you to fuck me. and eddie's like oh. OH! why didn't you just ask then??? and steve blushes and looks away, mutters something about it not being what 'good omegas' do, and how he's so horny and eddie smells so fucking good with his chains and his rings and his tattoos steve's losing it

so they end up making out in the woods by the school, steve grinding down on eddie's lap with eddie's hand up his cheer skirt, both so far gone with lust that when they realise neither of them has a condom, steve just shrugs, tells eddie to pull out before he cums, because hawkins high values abstinence only sex education regardless of whether or not that works. so eddie bends steve over the table and slides in, and he gets so caught up in steve's pussy clenching around him when steve cums that he almost doesn't pull out in time, cum splashing against steve's still fluttering hole and absolutely drenching his entire pussy. but that's fine, he's pretty sure none of it actually got IN there, so they're good, right?

and they hook up another couple times after that, WITH a condom this time now that they know it's going to happen, and they enjoy each other's company so much that steve invites eddie to share his heat with him in a couple weeks. except. when the time comes, steve... isn't actually going into heat. which is fine, maybe it's just late. except, eddie points out that he's been pretty nauseous the past week or so, won't kiss him if eddie's been drinking coffee because he says the smell makes him wanna throw up. and now steve's panicking.

eddie calms him down, says there's no use freaking out if they don't know for sure. gets him a glass of water and a sandwich and tells him to finish them both while eddie runs to the nearest pharmacy to pick up a pregnancy test. the cashier glares at him when he checks out, severely judging the metalhead alpha buying like five male-omega pregnancy tests, but eddie barely even notices, head full of images of steve round with his pup, which yeah, he feels bad about given that steve is clearly freaking out. and he's ALSO kind of freaking out, because they're still in high school and he's a trailer trash drug dealer and absolutely not father material. but also. he likes steve so much. and thinking about being with him, having kids with him. it sounds so nice.

when he gets back to steve's house, steve has finished the glass of water but barely touched the sandwich. eddie hands the tests to him, reads the instructions out loud, stays in the bathroom while steve pees on the stick because the omega looked so lost and scared when eddie tried to give him some privacy. eddie distracts him by telling him about his latest campaign while they wait for the test to do its thing, and while steve is busy laughing about the tantrum gareth had thrown after the party spent two real life hours trying to open a door only to find out it wasn't locked in the first place, eddie quickly flips over the test.

there's two little pink lines. they're going to have a baby.

[a-sad-mage]

Sometimes, I think about how Betrayus is the literal definition of:

"The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth "

Granted, all we know of his backstory before the Pac-World War is what Betrayus himself says, and that can be considered unreliable as Betrayus, as a villain, can be an unreliable narrator.

But as far as I remember, when the past is brought up in the presence of his brother Stratos and Mom, neither of them seem to deny how he was treated growing up.

(Correct me if I'm wrong)

Heck, the Easter Egg Island episode, the Easter Peep goes as far as to kidnappe all the Ghosts as revenge for a prank Betrayus pulled as a kid one year because he couldn't get a single egg the year before-

(And let's be real for a moment. If Stratos was a good brother, he could have shared at least one(1) egg with Betrayus)

Sure, she waited till when he was an adult, but he was an adult long before the war and being stripped of his body.

He gets coal every Pac-mas(Christmas)

If that statement is taken literally, does that mean he's been getting it since he was a baby? Because if so, that's kinda messed up, and if not, and just when he was a kid, that's still messed up because Skeebo doesn't get coal, and he's a jerk to the Team, and Inky, Pinky and Blinky still get gifts even though they still cause trouble every now and then, Santa-Pac admits as much.

Betrayus became the villain because everyone, even his own family, made him out to be one.

No one really respected or cared for him, even now that he rules the Nether World. It's clear the Ghosts just follow what he says because the majority are scared of him.

And in an ironic twist of fate, I think that's what his Ghost Power represents.

Betrayus is a fire ghost, and as we see with a munch of Ghosts, not all of them get other abilities. Some train to improve the existing ghost abilities like possession so it lasts longer.

Because of this, ghost powers/elemental ghosts can be seen as individuals with high levels of resentment/trauma. As in the real world, we have adopted that there are different kind of Ghosts all over the world, and the way the form in the afterlife and what they are able to do is influenced on how they where treated and lived.

Betrayus quite literally burned every bridge while living, especially when the first Pac-World War happened.

He was going to take over Pac-World, become its leader and be 'appreciated' and 'acknowledge' for once in his life, to be remembered as something other than the screw up of the family.

He wanted to feel the warmth of being someone worth something, and when all previous attempts failed, when his cries for attention, acknowledgment, and help were ignored as him being a troublemaker, he decided if no one would willingly give him that warmth he craved, he would take it by force any means necessary.

So when he was stripped of his body with the Repository, his desire to feel warmth was granted by giving him fire powers as a ghost and being sent to live and subsequently rule the Nether Realm.

He has warmth, but not the kind he hoped for.

Am I saying Betrayus is justified, completely 100% off the hook for everything he's done?

No, absolutely not, but understanding all the 'little' things, helps one understand a villain and their motivation to why they turned out the way they did.

Im not denying that pure evil doesn't exist. It does, and those individuals are beyond reason.

But in a case like Betrayus?

I can't help but feel like he was unjustly turned into someone he didn't want to be.

The ghost has talents. He used to be a pattle ball pro, while we don't see much of Fluffy anymore, we know he loves his three-headed doggy and dose actually care about the other ghosts he rules over to some extent.

So, in short, Betrayus was just some guy that was delt a shit hand at life and has a slightly better one in the afterlife.

He's not totally justified in what he does, but it's understandable, to an extent.

Betrayus was and still is one of my favorite villains of all time, simply because we, as the audience, can collectively laugh at and sympathize with him.

He's not a good individual, but he's not 100% evil either.

He's just Betrayus

[ifitmeanslosingyouthenno]

au in which nathaniel is married to riko

okay so

in this universe there's no mafia, the moriyamas are just filthy rich businessmen, but nathan still is a serial killer

things go a bit different in the sense that nathan kills mary when neil is 10 bc he loses his temper and keeps neil practically captive in that house, torturing him endlessly until nathan slips up and somehow the fbi finds the evidence they need to raid the house when neil is idk 15 ish and they end up killing nathan and neil is sent to foster care

he doesn't have as bad a time in foster care as andrew did, some parents like slapping him around, but some are genuinely nice people

ultimately tho he's not adopted by anyone by the time he turns 18 (he tells himself he doesn't mind, who would want a damaged and quiet and sketchy and flighty kid in their family anyway?)

he's left on his own, to figure out how to be a real person, an adult, with no home, no place to stay, no friends, no family, nothing but himself

he goes through a few years where he just lives on the streets, spending the little money he has left on food, going to shelters when he can, traveling through states until he gets to new york

he's attacked and harassed by some guy at some point outside a bar or something and he's so dazed he cant even fight back, but someone fights back for him

and its riko moriyama, famous fucking exy star and professional athlete

he saves neil and he takes him to his place, where he lets him stay and recover and hey, he's actually kind of sweet, and he really cares about neil, and maybe it wouldn't be so bad to stay with him? and when riko kisses him the first time maybe its not so bad? and maybe when they start dating he's incredibly loving and he gives him gifts and it's the happiest neil has been? and maybe when riko proposes neil says yes and they get married and they're happy? genuinely happy for once?

except that at some point, the love becomes anger, the sweet gestures become punches, the care becomes jealousy and control and pain, and what was the best thing in neils life becomes a nightmare once more

(and maybe he blames himself, maybe its neil thats the problem, maybe its him who brings out the worst in people, maybe he's doomed to this cycle of abuse)

its not until riko beats neil withing an inch of his life that neil runs

OH SHIT WAIT LMAO I FORGOT TO SAY

neil doesn't actually go by neil throughout all of this, he still goes by nathaniel, his legal name, nathaniel wesninski is married to riko moriyama not neil josten

so neil runs and runs and runs with what little money he could steal from riko and he adopts neil josten's identity until he physically cannot keep going

luckily for him, his collapse happens far enough, all the way in seattle in the same pharmacy that medical intern aaron minyard was buying some supplies

so yeah aaron freaks out and almost calls an ambulance but neil stops him bc he's scared bc riko might not have mafia connections in this universe but he has so much fucking money

and it takes aaron and katelyn and abby on the phone for them to fix a heavily beat up neil who should definitely go to the hospital but this is the best they can do

(aaron just assumes he's homeless, and he cant pay the hospital, and he's a fucking softie deep inside so he does everything he can to help how he can)

and maybe when kate catches neil sneaking out one night, she does everything to stop him and offers him safety and maybe the exchange some truths, maybe kate guesses that neil had someone that abused him, maybe someone he loved and neil is scared and he doesn't feel like he can trust anyone but something about kate makes him break down and tell her what he can while making sure he doesn't reveal much

and im taking too long but basically aaron and kate take neil in and they introduce him to the foxes and to the legendary kevin day and andrew minyard, professional exy players for the seattle exy team

and well it takes time and lots of trust before neil lets himself open up again

but its in the form of andrew minyard and the way they can both respect each others boundaries, and neil tells andrew about nathan, but never reveals the truth about being married or anything about riko moriyama

until andrew asks neil to marry him and well

it all goes to shit lol

neil cant bring himself to tell andrew the truth and it all becomes a mess and andrew breaks things up and neil becomes a mess as well

(bc its true, it's on him, its always on him and god he never learns, he never fucking learns, he doesn't fucking get happy endings, he doesn't fucking get good things)

and he tries to leave aaron and kate's place again, and he's successful this time and he's on his way out of seattle when he stops by a gas station to get some food and he has no idea of where he's going and he hesitates for a while, until he catches the eye of andrew on his car outside, and andrew just looks away and leaves and-

and if neil was hesitating before he's sure now and he has to leave for good and he has to leave and get away and never come back and

and he runs right into riko moriyama as he's leaving the store

to be continued maybe??

part 2

[cr4yolaas]

the night shift — interlude 0.2

day 3 | masterlist | day 4

she tries not to think about that night.

it's all too clear in the back of her mind. the violence that creeped up on her tongue and shielded her from any pain that might have come her way, the stickiness of her sweat on her skin, the buzz of the (at the time) barely-working air-conditioning; it's too familiar to her. she does her best to encase it in a far, far corner, to make sure it never resurfaces, but on some days, it does.

the couch dips with kenma's weight beside her. his game is paused in the background, the soft hum of the music serving as the only noise in the house, save for kuroo's furious writing as he studies for his upcoming exam (he's finally decided to work on getting his doctorate, after sitting around for a year or two. kenma's funds are helpful, but they aren't limitless). when she looks at him, all she can hear is that night, all she can feel is that night, all she can see is that night.

almost like he haunts her with it.

he doesn't look at her. he doesn't need to. all it takes is him being there for her to be reminded of last summer; the turmoil and the struggles and the conflict.

("i don't need that kind of help," she yelled. "i don't fucking want that help. i'm not a baby." the words were hot on her tongue, searing her teeth and lips and gums. she stood in his living room, donning clothes that probably weren't hers and with an unclear conscience.)

she isn't sure if she's supposed to turn to him. her eyes latch onto the ground for any bit of stability. she can imagine the conversation now, she can almost predict the entirety of it in her head.

("then what? are you just going to wallow in grief until you can't sustain your own life anymore? is that the plan?" his words were pointed, all too accurate. he crossed his arms over his chest. she hated when he did that, his irritation overbearingly clear. "you aren't going to escape him if you don't do something to change. it's either i help you, or you help yourself in some way. figure it out.")

"how do you feel?"

"like shit," she laughs. it's half-hearted.

he shakes his head.

(just a few moments ago, she had stumbled upon their front door with one suitcase and a broken phone, the "missed call" notification imprinted onto her home screen. another buzz rung in her palm, and on instinct, her thumb sunk into the "decline" button. now, she stood in the middle of a foreign apartment, with a heavy heart and a heavy head.

she didn't want to rely on him, too scared of the possibility of dependency and the vulnerability that came with it. so, instead, she bites at his outstretched hand and turns away, to avoid any chance of being too reliant.)

"you can't let him continue to affect you like this," he starts. a blatant truth. "and, similarly, you can't keep turning back to him when things get rough and you need the safety of routine. stop relying on that net."

she doesn't respond.

(kenma was the first to answer her text, frantic and panicked and far from put-together, and he was the first to answer the door. he was the first to pick her up on the night of the first argument, and the first to offer her some semblance of support. but, all the same, he was the first to call her out on everything. that was his fatal flaw, in her eyes.)

he looks to her. she looks back, hesitantly. it's the same way it's always been since that night, no matter how hard she tries to run from it.

"promise me you'll work on it, this time?"

she smiles, and as he had hoped, it's warm and full of the essence of her. "sure."

ᡣ𐭩 another rye analysis bc im so in love with the night shift

ᡣ𐭩 the reason for yn and her ex breaking up with each other (probably?) won't be specified ever in this fic, but the vague idea is an inability to accept her as a flawed person. this is the driving force for this entire fic

ᡣ𐭩 this interlude is a weird, weird piece that alternates between the night yn moved in (the same night she broke up with her ex), and the current timeline, where she is still struggling to pick up the pieces and work on creating an actually sustainable life

ᡣ𐭩 kenma had offered to have her move in with them without much financial burden (in other words, he would cover most of the costs); yn did not take it well as u can see

ᡣ𐭩 same idea as kags and sho being so close in their own home but so distant because of a driving force that separates them

ᡣ𐭩 kuroo is working to get his phd in business in the current timeline bc he had stalled on it for too long and srsly flopped LOL. it's a small detail i wrote while planning and i wanted it to show up at least once

ᡣ𐭩 as i always say i hope this one made sense !!! sorry for procrastinating on this one for so long </3

taglist: @causenessus @strawberryurii @iiwaijime @savemebrazilhinata @tiramizuloz @conrad4life13 @wyrcan @zazathezaer @nperoconelcositoarriba @cupidsblonde @thechaosoflonging @diorzs @aozui @fefesooli

[honeycollectswhump]

Augusnippets Day 14

toys/gifts/celebration

CW: self deprecation, fear of abandonment

Zero new messages.

Whumpee stared at their phone for what felt like the hundredth time. Still, it didn’t change the fact that Caretaker hadn’t opened their messages yet, or even went online. Their last message read “im busy today, sry” and they seemed to mean it. Even though every other time, Caretaker found time in their day to respond to Whumpee’s more and more frantic texts, today they might as well have disappeared off of the planet.

They couldn’t help but worry. What if Caretaker had grown tired of them, leaving like it was their right from the beginning? Whumpee was annoying, clingy even, practically stuck to Caretaker’s side like a parasite. 

Or horribly, frighteningly worse. What if something had happened to Caretaker? What if Whumper was really still out there and now struck, taking sweet revenge?

It was evening by now, without any response from their only friend. It wasn’t like they could just go outside, for a walk perhaps. The thought scared them too much. Instead, they paced for the dozenth time from their bedroom, over to the kitchen, rearranging decor and spices in an attempt to feel busy. 

Ping.

Whumpee lunged towards their phone like an attacking dog, nearly dropping it twice in their desperate attempt to unlock it. God, they were pathetic.

”are u home rn?” was all the message read. But it was from Caretaker! The relief was overwhelming! They still cared after all!

Their fingers couldn’t type the message fast enough, the embarrassing amount of typos betraying their desperation. Now Whumpee only had to wait for a response. They could do that. Patiently.

Suddenly, a knock on their door ripped them out of their trance of staring at the screen, waiting for a sign, any sign. Reluctantly, they put their phone in their pocket and made their way over to the door. It was rare, almost humiliatingly so, that they got any visitors. But it couldn’t be…

“Who is there?” Carefully, Whumpee put their ear to the door. 

“It’s me, Whumpee.” Came Caretaker’s voice, immediately lifting Whumpee’s spirits high up, their chest feeling light and breezy. They could hear Caretaker giggle, sounding like a wind chime. “Open the door please, I’m really struggling over here.”

Whumpee fumbled with their multiple locks as quickly as they could. This was what they had been waiting for their entire day.

Caretaker was waiting outside, an awkward grin on their face. “Happy Birthday, my darling.”

Dumbly, they could only stare, from the cake —the cake?— Caretaker was holding towards them to their expectant face. 

“I… I don’t remember my birthday…I don’t have one.” Whumpee stuttered. In the past year, they had come to terms with the things, the memories, they lost. Their birthday was just one of many.

”I know,” Caretaker replied sheepishly, “but i realized, you know, it’s been exactly a year since you escaped. And look how far you have gotten! That’s almost like a birthday, isn’t it?” They stopped, searching Whumpee’s face for any reaction. “We, we don’t have to do this of course. It can just be a cake for no reason.”

”My… my birthday…” They stared at the cake. “I could… choose my birthday?”

The thought was strange and new to them, so contrary to their feelings of having lost something irreplaceable. It had never even crossed their mind before. Their own birthday, the start of their new life so to speak. 

“… I’d like that.” They smiled and Caretaker’s face lit up instantly.

”I’m glad! Because I may have brought a bit more than just cake.” Turning around, they revealed a small package lying behind their feet. Somehow, Caretaker managed to hold the cake in one hand and pick the present up with the other, letting themselves into Whumpee’s apartment.

Still a bit dumbfounded, Whumpee followed them, watching as they arranged the cake and gift on the table. Caretaker fished out a candle and a lighter out of their pocket, decorating the cake (lemon, their favourite kind, Whumpee noticed belatedly) and then held out the present towards them. 

„Happy Birthday!“

@augusnippets

[jorisjurgen]

World of Twelve dashboard simulator #2

👁️ katarynadance follow

Freaks may say i want to fuck antonio sadisski from the bontarian boufbowl Love Arrow team. I'm freaks. I mean im freaks. I mean im freaks.

🌌 somethingquietplace

I wouldn't go that far, but NGL, I don't know how one might not develop an affinity for him... Very charming man! He might be the second greatest player after Khan.

Then again, my opinion on who the second greatest player is changes all the time, haha.

🌸 sadidaskickshoe follow

Ehh khan's been dead for centuries....! Let it go. I think he's cool, but thinking nobody will ever be better is crazy...

🌌 somethingquietplace

He developed most of the techniques still used to this day, just so you know. Visit a museum perhaps. It might be helpful?

🎃 sacriblo0ody follow

average khan fan showing how much criticism of his favourite misogynyst he can withstand.

🌌 somethingquietplace

And you're an average 16 year old child with Very Important Opinions trying to educate me nicely.

🧀 cheesefuckersupreme follow

Seeing somethingquietplace and sadidaskickshoe on the same post is kind of terrifying.

#worlds most toxic crossover? #20 callout posts gang real?

(1,582 notes)

🧀 cheesefuckersupreme follow

Guys they both blocked me ASFHFKDKGJSJ

Do i get a boufbowl fandom badge of honor now????? Did i make it in life?????

🦠 gorebludsac follow

I don't think it's a nice way to post, considering one of them is like neurodivergent and a minor, and the other is tumblr user somethingquietplace (diagnosis self explanatory)

🧀 cheesefuckersupreme follow

I'm sorry yeah i forgot that they're both diagnosed.

#ngl i feel bad kinda for both of them

(34 notes)

🌌 somethingquietplace

.

I hate adventuring with other people. Just being there and knowing I'll never be their friend. I want to say something, be in the conversation, but I never know what to say, and everyone already knows each other and

Well even when they don't yet know each other, obviously they'll prefer anyone else over me. They'll give up on trying to talk to me.

It's so weird... I hate everyone. Everyone has stupid interests and tastes. Just braindead things. Romance and fucking and fashion. And all of them have normal lives and normal families and once in a while they ask something about mine and I don't know what to say at all. And I want to be liked. Even if I have zero respect for anyone I want to like me. Is it weird?

I guess I'm just sad because I don't have that innate talent to pretend like I care about other people. Or maybe I wish someone actually liked me besides my family.

#delete later #...I really like this ''forbid others from reblogging a post'' function they added recently #When my dad dies I think I will finally kill myself I guess. #not osu #Honestly I can't tolerate anyone at my work. I hate them all and want them dead. #And I can't tolerate anyone close to my age. #They all insult me. Constantly. You know. #So the only people who like me are my family. #Its neverending. I can't take it anymore. #I think me only liking my family might be a self fulfilling prophecy but i don't care. #or so I think.

(2 notes)

🌸 sadidaskickshoe follow

people who post about their family issues on here are weird.... My brother isn't here but just the idea of him seeing anything on my phone makes me so scared to write anything!! 😵‍💫

#temp

(1 note)

🌌 somethingquietplace

I wish people would refrain from obvious vagueblogging about my deleted posts.

#delete later #not osu

(284 notes)

🌸 sadidaskickshoe

people who stalk other peoples blogs are so weird!! I think it's easier to follow one another. Because this is getting embarrassing for us both XD

🌌 somethingquietplace

Ok.

#Mostly I am following you because you said you liked Khan Karkass. #Even if you don't have good opinions (ones I agree with) on him.

(1243 notes)

🦠 gorebludsac follow

A second mad xelor explosive machine has hit the tumblr boufbowl fandom

#those.two.... are mutuals now. #i canrt stop laughing there are tears rolling down my face #remember when kickshoe told me in explicit detail how she wanted me to kill myself #or how quiet typed out whole 40 paragraphs of threats #and ended that post with ''youre wasting my time away from work'' as if hes not termianlly online too #this is historical for me and nobody else

(46 notes)

🪰 maldemal follow

She throw dice on my tabletop til i eacflipcity

🕳️ eviltreeman follow

Collect my Thirsty Branches

(459 notes)

🎭 syxxxxxaenika follow

Bruh someone tried to kill the prince again and missed. How the fuck does a fifth assassin in a row fail at killing the prince of brakmar!!!! I can't live in this stupid country anymore

🌸 sadidaskickshoe

Even if things suck i dont think killing royals is the answer..... 😰

(109 notes)

🌌 somethingquietplace

Was in a store recently. The prices were disgusting, and the worst of all, the Ministry of Moral Purity wants to propose a tax for being negative about the government... Are we in Brakmar now? Is this Brakmar we're in?

I have something very taxable to say but shall refrain.

🎭 syxxxxxaenika follow

Bontarians when something bontarian happens bontarianly in bonta: is this fucking brakmar

unlike you, I have the free speech to wish death on our royalty. I can say freely that I hope the prince of brakmar kills himself.

🌌 somethingquietplace

It's literally so easy to hate you even besides the holier than thou attitude... Your city has lava. Would a good place to live with good people have lava. Would a good place with good people have invented something called "the Brakmarian burial"?

🎭 syxxxxxaenika follow

You can't be saying that white-blue boy

#WHERE DID A RANDOM BONTARIAN LEARN A 500 YEAR OLD GANG TERM FOR BODY DISPOSAL?? #WHAT???

(24295 notes)

🪄 pantypervert69 follow

CALLOUT POST:

@/xellymelly has been selling re-bought goods from The Mad Xelor. Do NOT buy from her. Not only are they dangerous, they are also wildly past their expiration date. DO NOT USE ANYTHING YOU BOUGHT FROM HER. IT WILL KILL YOU.

🌌 somethingquietplace

If you have items made by The Mad Xelor, Kerubim Crepin from Bonta's Aux Tresors de Kerubim shop has a recycling program for all victims of this scam. He even gives out rewards for all the items you bring in.

I implore you to consider taking the things you bought to him, and making the world a safer place. (And "★bring some magic to your life★")

#not osu #I can personally vouch for this store's quality. It's very well known among some circles around here.

(4838 notes)

🚬 pigpigeazer follow

Everyone always jokes about the bad parts of classes but nobody ever talks about how generous the pandawa are, how honest iops are, how lively ecaflips are, and how empathetic sacriers are

🎃 sacriblo0ody follow

literally im always saying that!

🤖 athefogenesis follow

Except it always comes at the expense of mentioning that their religion makes them ignorant, addicts, or drives them to self harm?? We need to bully people who are hardcore about class tenets harder. You're destroying yourself for some all powerful reality-warping creature that doesnt give a shit about you

🤹 lancerclown420 follow

People like you give us atheist classes such a bad name. Everyone and everything in the world has a purpose, both those who follow a deity, and those who follow a primciple and

Actually they're a sufokian supremacist so nvmmmm

🧙 hupperschlongartor follow

THE NOTES ARE A FREE BLOCKLIST 💀

(637 notes)

🌌 somethingquietplace

.

#not osu #delete later #the thing is that. I never stopped hating him for ruining my life. #But the amount of hatred i feel ebbs and flows. Does it make sense? #This is stupid. So stupid... Like #oh nooo papycha... you neglected me as a child to the point of incurable mental diseases... #They would be better off if I was dead honestly #i need me and my dad to die. #I need everyone to die actually

(2 notes)

🦞 foggerfish follow

Apparently there's a big thing going on in demigod history community because Goultard (you know, the 4847372882843 or whatever year old son of Iop) undied again and was spotted somewhere around Astrubian border.

👽 cvt3-r41nb0w follow

MY WEDDING IS BACK ON NOBODY WILL HOLD ME BACK. He already married witches i can be the fourth

🗣️ thedarkwitchfromthatbook-is-gay follow

Isn't he gay

😈 osawhip666 follow

isn't he a mass murderer

🌌 somethingquietplace

Finally a reason to kill myself?

#I have to work with demigods a lot so... #Wish me luck in avoiding him like plague? #I had horrible experiences with him in the past #but talking about it would definitely lead someone to finding out who I am so... #I hope he kills himself and it sticks for once.

(447 notes)

🪐 8lunarcoeur8 follow

Heyyy

I wish people would stop rb'ing quiet's boufbowl gifsets considering the fact hes racist, misogynist, a freak, a bonta apologist (goes with the racism), has a fucking Maid, and likes some really weird things.

At least kickshoe has the excuse of being like a teen but this fucking guy is just something else.

🧙 hupperschlongartor follow

whatd he do? 🥺

🪐 8lunarcoeur8 follow

Says weird things about brakmar (x, x, x, x, x, x, x, and mooooore), is a freak (x, x), and a misogynist (x, x, x) (STOP STANNING KHAN KARKASS) also he's weird about huppermages and self described his class as an antihuppermage and even though it was like 200 years ago hes a wholeass immortal man and also is Still a weirdo about ecaflips.

(385 notes)

🌌 somethingquietplace

RE: the newest cancellation

I don't care about your feelings and I have nothing to apologize for.

#not osu

(1842 notes)

🦴 skellythievin follow

Not me honoring sram by stealing bones from the graveyard 😭

🦴 ougigou-woof-woof follow

LEGENDARY POST

#WHY DO I HAVE THE SAME PFP AS THE BONE STEALING SRAM

(59227 notes)

🌸 sadidaskickshoe

Yaaa antonio sadisski won as always!! They should put sadidas like him in the hall of heroes for our country ᕙ⁠ ⁠(⁠°⁠ ⁠~⁠ ⁠°⁠ ⁠~⁠)

👯 mirarynnnw follow

He sucks

🌸 sadidaskickshoe

Hi kill yourself :) /gen

#i was banned from using my phone but ill risk it all again to say that nobody will miss you!

(12 notes)

[nanami-is-nanamean]

for literal years (i have no sense of time, its honestly probably just half a year but i could be horrifically wrong—i blame covid for destroying it), i have had this... au. where i just. put nanami. in hsr.

like—instead of caelus or stella being the mc, nanami is and thats whats hes been doing all those years when he was away from sorcery. i do hc that he spent at least one year as a salaryman to get that signature "my soul has been sucked out by capitalism" look and "we should reform society to be better" mindset lmao

i imagine that like—the way it works is that everything happens roughly the same in the main story, its just the little minute differences that change kinda like how everyones playthru of hsr is slightly different because we chose diff dialogue options or whatever

so like—he goes thru belobog, goes thru the xianzhou, goes thru penacony, and then all the side quests, and thats when he decides to go back home (did i base it off my own hsr progress? haha... yeah. lmao)

i dont know who exactly he goes down back to earth with but i do have this one scene in my head where he meets up with himeko. and as much as i like the idea of him going down alone, i dont think the express is gonna let him lmao. best i can imagine is march and welt. welt because this is the most similar to his old home of hi3 (which i want to play so bad but alas i have a life), and march because she serves as a nice contrast to the low energies of nanami and welt AHAHA

i did consider benching her since shes been going to expeditions nonstop but like—the contrast gotta b there honey, thats what you call good writing and good character dynamic lmao. but yeah—he goes down, calls up gojo, and welt and march go off to fuck about.

i imagine that gojos fuckin stunned to see him after so many years because like—he was working a dead end job and then one day he fucking disappears. and it would scare gojo too since like, his entire thing is being able to see things, to percieve things, and as op as gojo is, im p sure he isnt able to see far enough to find nanami in the cold and dark depths of space. all he knows is—he was there, and then, his cursed energy disappears like a candle that went out. all he can assume is that he died or some curse users got to him. but if he died, a sorcerer of his caliber would produce a CRAZY curse spirit. and if curse users got to him, there would be some sort of trace or destruction left behind as a trail because nanami wont go that easy and if he did turn into a curse user, he would be able to pick up the curse energy residue.

so now here he is, back infront of him like some kind of disappearing act AND with some strange and crazy energy inside him. like a fucked up star or black hole or something. somethings obviously happened to him, and if the weird disappearance and reappearance or the weird-ass thing inside him didnt clue him in—he would rip out his own eyes. and he KNOWS that is this nanami because the Six Eyes never lie. (hehe kenjaku prison realm moment)

so now hes tasked with figuring out what the fuck happened to nanami and what the fuck that pulsing thing inside him is—but hes conflicted about it because jesus christ, it was just him and ieiri for so long and theyre both so desperate and so happy to see an old friend again and—and they don't know if they can disregard whatever the fuck happened to him and if hes a threat, because god they missed him so much (hehe geto moment)

MEANWHILE march and welt are snooping around and they find a curse, which they easily defeat obviously and welt has... a WEIRD feeling about these "curses". like hes experienced facing this kind of energy before... so they go curse hunting a little bit more and holy shit. thats when welt realizes.

the reason why the curses and curse energy is so familiar is because he REALLY DID face this sort of energy before—and he faced that energy in the form of rAIDEN MEI WHEN SHE WAS WAVING AROUND HER NIHILITY ABILITIES. so now the express HAS to start meddling because the fucking NIHILITY is HERE and this world has been drowning in the powers of the nihility for actual fucking CENTURIES and at this point, and its going to be too goddamn predictable if theres a fucking stellaron causing it. (there isnt but theyre so used to it at this point lmao)

so yeah! thats my setup for an hsr x jjk crossover lmao

oh yeah its totes nanago AHAHHAHAHA—its implied but idk if it got thru KJHDFJLGkHSLK

[labrxnth]

Prison Break- Part 5 (Leon Kennedy x Reader Series)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

CW: Death Island spoilers, suicidal thoughts/tendencies

WC: 5350 (whoops)

Summary: You and your co-worker Leon Kennedy are sent on a mission to rescue a kidnapped robotic engineer Dr. Antonio Taylor. The journey for him leads the two of you to somewhere you thought you would never go, Alcatraz.

A/n: IM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG. I graduated my students, I fell ill, and I had an ADHD fueled hyperfixation on a specific pale elf made by Larion Studios so here it finally it. I hope the length makes up for the month of silence.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* : ｡ﾟ☆. ───

January 27th, 2015 

You and Leon had been working together for a year and a half. Last year, you two defeated Glen Arias alongside Chris Redfield and Rebecca Chambers. This year, things were relatively quiet. You hated to say it, but it was quiet. 

You were sitting at your desk that was against the wall in now you and Leon’s shared office. A crate of ice coffee was melting, the condensation dripping from the cups onto the top of your desk. Glancing at the clock, you bit your lip. Normally, Leon would be out of a meeting with the President within an hour, but it was now an hour and 15 minutes, something was up. 

And with it being quiet lately, you could only speculate another big mission was popping up. 

The door opened and Leon walked into the office, looking exhausted and drained. Over the past half a year he had really pulled himself together. His eyes looked more present, less glossed over. He had grown his hair out more, stopped dying it, and styled it like he used to when you first joined. He was also very proud that he started lifting again, something he said that he did all the time in his 20s. 

And all that personal care paid off, because even though he was exhausted from his meeting, he still looked gorgeous. You thought he was really attractive when you joined the D.S.O. and even last year when he had lost a bit of weight and had his depressed alcoholic arc. But you didn’t know just how attractive he could be, and it still amazed you. 

“Are you going to tell me… or….” You said and looked at him. 

He took his coffee out of the tray on your desk and pat your head. Your eyes trailed him to his desk. 

“We have another mission coming up,” he said, pinching the bridge of his nose as he sat down. He took a sip of his coffee and relaxed in his chair. 

Leon had told you multiple times about his relationship with the past few presidents. Apparently, President Graham scared him shitless when he “asked” Leon to rescue his daughter and he was intimidated by him until his terms ended. President Benford was like a mentor to him and helped found the D.S.O. with Leon; they were pretty close until Leon had to kill him a few years ago. Now, Leon was drained from all the politics of the new guy. 

You smiled to yourself a little bit because you were right about the mission. “You know that’s just watered down coffee, right?” You asked, looking at his iced americano, trying to lighten the mood.

He looked at you from his desk, almost scoffing in reply. “Like I’m gonna take coffee advice from you. You’d guzzle the grounds if you could,” He said, turning his attention back to the folder in his hands. 

You sat there with your mouth open, not knowing how to reply to that. Closing your mouth, you turned back to your laptop, typing away at a case file. 

“We have to go to New York,” Leon said after a few seconds of silence. “We’re going to attend an upcoming biology summit and check in on a few things.” 

“Meaning, there’s a potential virus being sold?” You asked. The past few months after dealing with Arias had been mostly doing work for the government, so bounty hunting and few and far between B.O.W. hunting. 

Leon nodded and your heart jumped with excitement. It was kind of morbid to put it this way, but you loved work like this. This was why you joined the D.S.O.

“We’ll be undercover so be on your best behavior,” Leon said. 

“Yessir,” you said and jokingly saluted. 

“And another thing…. We’ll be undercover as a couple… so try to pretend like you like me,” Leon said and grinned. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* : ｡ﾟ☆. ───

January 30, 2015

Ingrid’s eyes trailed up and down your figure, looking at the dress and seeing if it complimented your skin tone and hair color. The D.S.O. was providing the wardrobe for the mission, the racks of dresses they had filled you and Leon’s office. 

When the racks were brought in, Ingrid didn’t explain why the D.S.O. had so many when you and Sherry were technically the only female agents. She also kicked Leon out of the office so she could help you try on the dresses and pick out the one. 

You were standing in the middle of the office, a burgundy coloured dress hugging your figure. The bodice had straps that fell off the shoulder, corset ribbing, and enough cleavage to make your mother pass out while still keeping it classy. The bottom hugged your figure on one side and had a long slit on the other, trailing up to your thigh. It felt Greek and Romantic, while also being modern. 

You felt like a million bucks. 

“Wow,” Ingrid said, looking over you again. “With your hair and makeup done, you could probably get it at the summit,” she added and chuckled. 

You looked down at the dress. “Why does the D.S.O. have this?” You asked again, clearly stuck on the question. Sherry Birkin hadn’t been back from traveling for a mission in years, and she was pretty young, so it genuinely made no sense to you. 

“Does it matter?” Ingrid replied. “The D.S.O. keeps them just in case. A lot of times they’re purchased for the mission. Tax write offs and stuff.”

You nodded in reply, letting Ingrid touch up the dress a little bit. 

“This will go nicely with what Leon’s wearing…” she said, mentally taking notes. She walked over to a box and pulled out a pair of heels higher than you had ever worn before. 

“Are you trying to get my ankle snapped in half?” You asked and looked at her in shock. 

“You’ve worn heels before, what’s a few more inches? And they’re designer, when else will you get a chance to wear them?” She asked. 

If you weren’t in awe of the shoes, you would have glared at her. “True…” you trailed off and tried the heels on. 

“Okay, now take everything off and I’ll pack them away,” Ingrid said and turned around so you could change. 

After handing the dress and shoes to her, you put your regular clothes on, feeling less like a million bucks. Ingrid put the dress and shoes in a suitcase along with a box of jewelry. 

“Alright… I’ll leave these with you. Good luck,” She said and smiled at you. 

You walked over to her and pulled her into a hug. No amount of hugs could make up for her landing you this job, or even just being your friend when you got lost in the sea of USSTRATCOM agents. But still, it was the thought that counted.

The two of you hugged each other for a good while, making a silent promise to work hard and for you to make it back in one piece. “I’ll try not to drive you insane this time,” you said and smiled at her. 

“You know better than making promises you can’t keep,” she replied and chuckled. The two of you broke the hug. 

The room was littered with clothing racks and  discarded dresses. “I’ll help you bring the racks back,” You said, looking around the room. 

“Don’t bother, I’ll have it done in two trips tops. And you need to get going, check in time for the hotel ends at 11pm,” she said. 

You nodded and picked up your bag and suitcase. “Talk to you later,” you said and gave her a toothy, warm, smile as you walked out the door. 

Walked through the D.S.O. office, you made your way to your locker, grabbing the duffel bag you carried around on missions. It had your knives, guns, and pretty much a small armory in it. 

“Ready to get going?” Leon asked, walking up next to you to go through his locker. 

“Yup,” you replied, slinging the duffel bag over your shoulder. 

“Let’s get going then,” he said, smiling at you. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* : ｡ﾟ☆. ───

January 31, 2015

“Name?” 

“Nathalie Oakes,” you replied, confident in your fake persona. The two of you, you and Leon were putting the finishing touches on your outfits. With a job like this, all of the details mattered, how he cuffed his sleeves, what you wore for jewelry, everything. 

“My name?” Leon asked, fixing the collar of his blazer and undershirt. He was wearing a suit that was matching the dress shade, his blazer and undershirt being the same shade. His tie was black and so were the pants. The way he had his shirt and blazer, the shirt was unbuttoned a little bit so his chest was slightly out. Almost like he had cleavage, which if you were honest he kind of did. That man worked on his chest like he was paid to do it. 

“Edward Wingate,” you answered. Your fingers gently pulled the top off of the velvet covered jewelry box, staring at the almost blinding gold necklace. Picking it up, you were trying to figure out how to clasp and unclasp it with your nails.

Ingrid had treated you to a manicure the other day. Adorning your fingertips were acrylics, nude colored and almond shaped. When you had asked how to shoot or fight in them, you were met with snickers and were told to figure it out yourself. 

So you did. Spending the last few days in the shooting ring and training rooms, making sure you were confident in your abilities with the nails on your hands. A chuckle came from behind you and Leon’s hand gently grabbed the necklace. “Need help?” He asked. 

You nodded in reply and pulled your hair up so he could put the necklace on you. 

“It's funny, I’ve seen you kick ass hundreds of times and you’re getting stuck on trying to put a necklace on,” He said, the everpresent teasing fronting his voice. 

“It’s these damn nails. I have so much respect for people that function with these things. And I can still kick your ass with these on,” You retorted, earning another chuckle from the man behind you. 

Looking at the mirror, you saw a reflection of a life you could only dream of. A woman dressed up to the nines and her partner helping with her jewelry. The juxtaposition to what your reality was was almost taunting. Where there were ivory colored gloves in the mirror, there was usually blood; yours and others’. The hair that fell smoothly like silk sat on top of the head that was filled with nightmares. Nothing in the mirror was a true reflection, except for the man behind you. 

You dreamed of finding the one person who got you, emotionally and physically. One who always had your back and would be there for you on the nights where you remembered the blood filled apartment in Manchester. Leon was the one person in your life who could quell the cold isolation, the icy, crushing feeling of your past. He didn’t know about your feelings for him, he couldn’t. 

Even if the feelings for him overwhelmed you in only a way that a full symphonic orchestra could. His smile made the world feel a little brighter, his laughter made life sweeter, He was like honey added to coffee, something that made a bitter drink sweet and a different palate. 

“Alright, done,” Leon said and pat your shoulder lightly. 

Your eyes looked at the gold adorning your neck and you smiled. “Thanks,” you said warmly and turned around to get the purse that matched your dress. The feeling of someone staring at you made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, something you had from the STRATCOM training. 

Looking in the mirror to your left you saw Leon staring at you, something that happened quite a bit, but this time it was differently charged. Something was fueling the look on his face, but as usual, he was hard to read. He noticed you looking at him in the reflection of the mirror and he turned his face towards the wall, pretending like he wasn't staring at you.

“You ready?” You asked, willing to ignore that he was blatantly staring at you. 

“Yeah,” He replied and grabbed his Sentinel 9, sliding it into his blazer and through his shoulder holster under the jacket. 

Turning towards your bed, you grabbed your holster, fastening it to your thigh under the dress. The slit was on the other thigh so it wouldn’t reveal the holster. 

“Ready Miss Oakes?” Leon mused, holding his arm out for you. 

“Ready Mr. Wingate,” You replied, smiling a bit and taking his arm. This all felt wrong, but right at the same time. What would it feel like if instead of a mission, this was your reality? What if instead of heaving Edward Wingate on your side you had Leon Kennedy? It was jarring, as jarring as the emotions you had been trying to sort out the last few months. Swimming somewhere between your heart and your brain were your complicated emotions. 

They really weren’t complicated, your situation was. 

If Leon wasn’t your coworker and technically your superior, you would’ve tried to go for it, but the reality was that your lives could get messy. You didn’t want him to potentially get in trouble for fraternization, you didn’t want your relationship to change if there was rejection, and most importantly you didn’t want either of your potential deaths to hurt more. 

If you left your feelings unsaid, the chance of you or Leon dying wouldn’t sting as much. So, your feelings were buried between your tight lips, unspoken and never going to be explored.

“You okay? You seem lost in thought,” Leon said, his eyes meeting yours. The clicks of your high heels and his shoes were echoing through the hall on the way to the elevator. 

“Yeah, I’m fine, just thinking about the mission,” You replied as the two of you stepped into the elevator. Your gloved finger pressed the 6 button.

“Our target is a potential C-virus sample. Most of the summit will be held on the 6th floor and a lot of the vendors will be here starting tomorrow. Tonight is the dinner party that starts off the summit. Everyone will be busy socializing and drinking,” Leon reminded you. 

“Meaning tonight is our best bet to get in and out unnoticed,” You said, smiling. 

“Meaning, our job will be a lot easier if we get it tonight,” He said. 

The elevator opened to the 6th floor, warm yellow lights illuminating the space. The room was open, the venue taking up the whole floor. Across the walls were floor to ceiling windows, the city lights coloring the dark horizon and sky. The floor was dark wood, glossy in finish, and the ceiling was an off gray color with golden details. All over the room were circular tables with chairs around them, the tables adorned with empty champagne glasses, cutlery, napkins, plates, and candles. 

“I feel like I don’t belong here,” You said quietly. The last undercover mission you went on was almost the polar opposite of this. 

“Don’t let them make you feel inferior. They’ll see through the disguise,” Leon assured you as you two walked into the room more. “And don’t sell yourself short. More importantly, don’t let rich assholes sell yourself short. You’re worth more than everything in this room put together,” He added. 

You smiled a bit, redness slightly painting the tips of your ears. “Thanks for the confidence boost. I’ll make sure to put this down as one of the only times you were sweet to me,” You said, looking at him. He opened his lips to say something, but closed them as someone was making their way over to you two with a clipboard. 

“Good evening, I presume you’re here for the North Eastern Biotech Summit?” The man said. He was dressed in a usual black tie suit. He stood around 5’11”, being only a few inches taller than Leon and looked to be around your age. 

You didn’t miss how Leon almost changed into a completely new person with his energy level and atmosphere. You also didn’t miss how his arm suddenly snaked around your waist, pulling you close to him. The corners of your mouth upturned into a warm friendly smile at the contact and the man in front of the two of you. 

It was all for the mission, that’s what you convinced yourself. Being a couple, that was for the mission, but enjoying it? That wasn’t part of the mission. 

“Of course! Edward Wingate, and this is my lovely fiancé, soon to be Mrs. Wingate,” Leon said, his voice sounding like silk. As he spoke, he pulled you close to him, squeezing the two of you in a side hug. 

The man in front of the two of you checked his clipboard, his eyes skimming down the list of names on his sheet. His eyes lit up when he saw the two names you presented. 

“Ah yes, Mr. Wingate and Ms. Oakes,” He replied, putting the clipboard down and gesturing to a table. “Let me help you find your seat,” He added. The two of you followed the man to a table in the corner of the room. 

As you got closer to the table, you tried to process all the people here, their fancy clothes, and their arm candies. The people paired with the lights, and the complete lack of smell in the room was almost too much for you to handle. 

Leon and you sat down at the table, your hands immediately going to the glass filled with water. The cool liquid made its way down your throat and relief was evident on your face. As you put your glass down, another couple sat next to Leon, their outfits as extravagant as the venue. There was a man and a woman, the woman looking slightly older than the man. 

“Hello! You weren’t here last year, it’s always good to meet a new supporter,” The woman said and outstretched her hand to Leon. After they shook hands, she outstretched the same hand to you, which you took as elegantly as you could. 

“Finally got invited to join in on the summit this year. We’re excited to see what the latest developments in biotech are,” Leon replied, smiling at the two of them. He lightly put his hand on your thigh, the warmth spreading through your body. If you were drinking, you would have almost choked on the water. 

“Nice to meet you, I’m Blaire, this is Ambrose,” The woman said and gestured to the young man next to her. Looking at his hand, you could see the two of them were engaged, the gold engagement rings sparkling. You slid your hand onto the tablecloth, so the two of them could observe that you and Leon were also “engaged”. 

“Pleasure’s all mine, Im Edward, this is Nathalie,” Leon gestured to you, almost showing you off. Your mind wandered off to thinking about what if it was Leon who was showing you off, not Edward showing off Nathalie. Could you ever make him proud to introduce other people to you?

“The summit this year is said to be the biggest yet,” Blaire said. Her midnight blue dress was stunning against her skin. The gold jewelry could catch anyone’s eyes. 

“That so? It certainly is a special night,” Leon said and chuckled a bit. You were surveying the room, seeing where the wait staff and other people were coming out of, making it look like you were taking in the decor. 

A frazzled worker coming out a door directly across the room from your table caught your eye. From your seat, you could see shelves and what looked like a storage room, or a green room that the items being showcased in could stay while waiting for tomorrow. 

Your eyes glanced back over to the couple sitting next to Leon and you smiled warmly at them, playing the role of the pretty arm candy that didn’t talk much. 

“We’re going to the bar for a few drinks, want to come?” Ambrose asked warmly and gestured to the bar on the opposite end of the room. It was close to the storage room you saw earlier.

Before Leon could object, you spoke for the two of you. “Of course,” You replied with a smile. 

As the two of them got up, Leon looked at you, his eyes asking for an explanation. Giving him a look back, your eyes told him, trust me, I have a plan already. He nodded in acknowledgement and you two got up, following Blaire and Ambrose. 

The four of you got to the bar counter and you looked up at Leon. “Hey, honey, I’m gonna head to the bathroom, could you just get me a vodka lemonade?” You asked and held his elbow lightly. 

Leon’s eyes twinkled a little bit, him knowing what you were really saying. “Of course, I’ll hold your drink for you,” He said. Before you walked away, he leaned in and kissed the top of your head. 

Your rational side knew why he did it, it was strictly to play your parts, but the part of you that dreamt about a different life fluttered when his lips met your head. Heat ran to your face as you blushed and started walking towards the bathroom. 

If there was one thing you didn’t want, it was for Leon to see the red painted across your cheeks. Then your feelings would be questioned. 

Making sure no one was watching, you walked past the bathroom and towards the storage closet. 

The first thing you noticed about the room was that it was cold, like a walk in freezer. The next thing you noticed were the lights, they were a cold blue hue, no warmth found in them at all. The very last thing you noticed was the lack of smell. Where the scent of mildew and/or dust would be filling your noses there was nothing. Not even the various cleaners on the shelf were creating a smell. 

Looking around the room, you saw various gadgets and displays set up for the summit. Each piece was on its own roll out table,but one in particular caught your eye. On a smaller display table, there was a closed briefcase. If you were lucky, the vial containing the virus sample would be in there, if not, you would have to survive more socializing. 

Walking over to it, your eyes traced over the case, looking for any signs of vents or anything else that could be a trap. Clearing the case, you brought your finger up to your earpiece. 

“Condor 2 to Roost, I found the delivery. Am I cleared to grab it?” You asked.  

“Condor 2, good job. You’re cleared to grab it,” Ingrid’s voice rang out in your earpiece. 

You nodded to yourself and studied the case again, making sure it wasn’t trapped. Flicking the clasps open, you saw the vial. Inside of the small glass container was a red substance that looked almost sticky. Reaching out to it, your hand went to grab it. 

Suddenly, you felt a strong sting of heat course through your hand. Smelling a burning sort of smell, you ripped your hand away from the glass and looked at it, seeing a second degree burn forming through the glove you were wearing. Snickering in annoyance, you bunched up both of your gloves and picked up the vial, stuffing it in your purse and thinking of a way to conceal the burn on your hand. 

Walking out of the storage room, you made your way back to Leon and the others getting their drinks. Leon went to hand you your glass, but his eyes immediately caught on to the burned palm of your hand. His eyebrow raised in questioning and the look you gave in response didn’t ease his worries. 

“Well, it’s been good to meet you two, I think Nathalie is feeling rather ill. We’re gonna head back to our room,” Leon said, looking over at the two he had walked to the bar with. 

Blaire and Ambrose nodded in respect and left to go back to the table. Leon’s eyes went back to your hand, concern written across his face. 

“You gonna tell me what happened?” He asked. 

“I suggest that we get back to the room then have this conversation before the sample vial burns a hole through my purse,” You retorted quietly and walked with him. 

The two of you slipped out of the party, unnoticed, just like how you had gotten in. The job was as easy as Hunnigan had said, in and out, and other than the burn on your hand you both came out unscathed. 

“We’re talking and walking,” Leon said as the two of you got out of the elevator, walking down the hallway to your room. His voice told you that he wasn’t asking, more telling you that you two were going to talk. 

“The glass burned my hand, that was it, everything else was fine,” You replied as you made your way to the door to your room. 

“I’m patching that up when we get inside,” Leon said, again leaving no room for debate. 

“Fine,” You mumbled and swiped the keycard, opening the door. 

The two of you walked in, you immediately getting out of your heels and leaving them by the door. You were about to head into the shower, before Leon closed the bathroom door from behind you. You didn’t have to see his face to know he was staring intently at you. 

“Before anything, I’m fixing that hand of yours,” He said, his breath hot on your neck. You turned around, looking him in the face. 

“I want to get out of my makeup and this dress,” You replied, a slight whine in your tone. 

“You’ll get to later,” He said, almost pulling you to the bed. Begrudgingly, you sat down on the edge of the bed and watched him walk to the bathroom. While you were getting ready, earlier today, you didn’t notice how soft the bedsheets were. The silk pooled under your fingers, wanting to lull you to sleep. 

Leon returned from the bathroom, with a bowl filled with water, a first aid kit, and a couple hand towels. Your face scrunched a bit, uncomfortable with the idea of someone doing something that you could do yourself. 

“Leon, I’ll be fine. I can bandage myself up after I get changed,” You said, trying to quell him. However, one of the things that you had learned early on while working with Leon Kennedy was that he never walked away from someone needing help, no matter how small or big the need was. 

The bed dipped as he sat next to you, pulling your hand so that it was face up on his thigh. “And what happens when you don’t fix it and you get scarring or can’t use your hand as well as you used to? This is your shooting hand, don’t be stubborn,” He insisted. 

“‘Don’t be stubborn?’ That’s rich coming from you,” You replied, eyes scrunched together waiting for the pain of him putting your hand in the bowl of cold water. 

Where you expected there to be pain from the water, there was relief. Part of you wished that it was running water, but the other part of you knew it might’ve been rough on the freshly buried skin. 

“Just relax, I’ll take good care of you,” Leon said, his hands going to open the first aid kit. 

“That really makes me feel better,” You said back snarkily. 

“Good to hear that you didn’t lose your sense of humor,” 

“I got a burn on my hand, I didn’t get impaled,” 

Leon chuckled a little bit and took your hand out of the bowl, putting it down on one of the hand towels. “I thought I trained you to say ‘thank you’ when someone helps,” He replied, a glint of teasing in his eyes. 

“You didn’t teach me shit other than how to shotgun a beer,” You replied, a smirk on your face. 

Leon’s small chuckle turned into a hearty laugh. “Fair, fair,” He replied and started to bandage your hand. “Good eye, seeing where the displays were held. The job was easy thanks to you.”

“Is that praise from Leon Kennedy?” You asked, feigning shock. “Oh my god, the world is ending.”

“Hey, I give you enough praise,” He retorted and lighting wrapped the bandages around your hand, lightly tying them. “Okay, your hand is all set and will be as pretty as it usually is soon,” He added with a toothy grin. 

“Thanks,” You said and looked at the bandaging, your voice softening. 

“Before you change, I have something else for you,” Leon said, walking over to the fridge in the room. Your eyes followed him and watched him pull a box out of the fridge and a large bottle of sparkling cider. 

“What’s the occasion?” You asked as he walked back to the bed with two forks and two flutes. 

“It’s January 31st….” Leon trailed off.

“Oh,” You replied softly and looked at the box. Leon opened it up and revealed a tiramisu cake, simple and plain, just like you liked it. 

“I’m sorry you had to be on a mission tonight, but our lives are what they are,” He said and handed you a fork. “I know you like tiramisu cake and you hate most types of alcohol so I got you some goodies,” He added with a soft smile.

“Thank you, I haven’t had anyone to spend tonight with for a long time,” You replied, taking the fork and flute. 

“Before we eat, actually, I think it’s a waste that we didn’t get to dance while in these fancy ass clothes,” Leon stood up, walking to the radio in the room and putting on a classical music station. 

“I don’t know how to dance,” You said. 

“If you can fight, you can dance, it’s pretty much the same thing,” He replied and held his hand out to you. 

“You say that now, but you won't be laughing when I step on your foot,” You warned, taking his hand with your good one and standing up. Leon laughed in reply and pulled you close to him, his hand finding a respectful spot on your waist. 

“How do I put up with you?” He asked dramatically, his eyes sparkling with humor. 

“I should be asking that question,” You replied. “Maybe, we were meant to annoy the shit out of each other.”

The two of you chuckled as you swayed together to the music. Leon’s eyes never left yours and the way he was looking at you felt… intimate. Like you were the only person in the world to him and you were all he wanted. 

“Happy birthday, (Y/n),” He said after a few seconds of silence and smiled. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* : ｡ﾟ☆. ───

Present Day

You saw Leon’s mouth moving on the other side of the prison cell bars, but couldn’t hear a word he was saying. His blue eyes were staring at you, squeezing shut in a grimace every few seconds. If you were going to get infected after all the missions the two of you had gone through, you were happy that at least you could lose your minds together. Nothing else mattered to you other than the feeling of closeness you two had in the moment and your fingers laced together through the jail cell bars. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* : ｡ﾟ☆. ───

Catch this fic early on my AO3!

[player1064]

Carra fucking off to skiing and David and Gary are immediately going all ♥ ♥ ♥ come get your man back James

So for a prompt if you still do them: Everyone is sick and tired of carraville dancing around each other but being cowards to actually do anything about it, so to get things moving Becks starts dropping hints that he might make a move on Gary.

(next time they meet gary's neck is full of hickeys and carra is very smug. they are even more insufferable than before. roy is rolling his eyes so hard he is able to see his own brain)

LOVE the idea of becks also being in on a plot to get them together. and of everyone asking becks to do it for them bc they don't want to/are too scared/lazy/dumb to do it themselves

---

“David,” says Scholesy.

“Scholesy,” says David.

“David, he’s driving me insane. I seriously cannot take it anymore.”

David doesn’t bother asking who ‘he’ is, or what he’s driving Scholesy insane about, because it’d be the same answer as it’s been for the past god knows how many years.

“I’m sure the two of them will figure it out eventually,” he offers sympathetically, to which Scholesy just groans in frustration.

“I’ll be long dead before that ‘appens.”

*

“Becks, I swear, they’re getting worse by the day.”

He and Keaney are sat with Wrighty at a little table in the media lounge at Wembley, watching Gary joke around with Carragher a few feet away. The two of them seem to be in their own little bubble, completely oblivious to the others around them. Their constant laughter is loud and annoying, especially since as far as David can tell neither of them is actually saying anything that funny.

It's kind of sweet, really.

“I think it’s sweet,” Wrighty says. “Don’t you remember how intense they both were as players? This is a massive improvement.”

“Yeah, but it’s driving me nuts! I mean, this is one thing, but it’s all the stupid little sighs and the – the longing looks, it’s enough to make you lose the will to live.”

In the past few months, David has had to listen to complaints about Gary and Carragher from every single one of his old friends from United, as well as some old England teammates that have worked with them at Sky or on The Overlap. They all seem to be under the impression that something needs to be done about it, that they can’t just let it run its natural course.

They also all seem to be in agreement that the person who needs to be doing something about it is David.

He wonders absently if it’s not too late to hand the ‘Gaz’s best friend’ card off to somebody else.

*

“So, Carragher.”

“What about him?”

Gary blinks at David from across the table, and if David didn’t know him so well he’d think he was being deliberately obtuse. Unfortunately, David does know him, well enough to know that he really is just that stupid.

He shoots him a Look, which has the desired effect of making Gary scowl at him, and then he says “nothin’, nothin’. Just noticed you two’ve been working together a lot lately.”

Gary shrugs. “He’s a good partner, to be fair. People like our dynamic. And he’s smart, though don’t tell ‘im I said that.”

“You spend much time with him outside of work?”

Gary squints, his face scrunching up in confusion. “Outside of work?” he asks, like it’s a completely foreign concept to him. Like there is no outside of work.

Which, it’s Gary, so for him there probably isn’t.

Maybe David needs to try a different approach.

*

The next time Gary is in London to cover a game with Sky, David shoots him a quick text asking dinner?, which Gary responds to with a thumbs up and the name of his hotel. Whether that’s because he wants to eat there or because he wants David to come pick him up he’s not sure, but either way he finds himself pulling up outside the Corinthia hotel that Friday evening, dressed in his smartest jeans and an unfussy old blazer.

He goes into the bar area, thinking he’ll order a drink and wait for Gary to come down, but Gary’s already there, sat at the bar with Carragher.

Perfect.

David meanders over to them, feeling slightly smug that he’s still enough to tear Gary’s attention away from Jamie, that Gary still gives him a glowy smile when he sees him approaching.

When he gets to them he shakes Jamie’s hand in greeting, pressing his other hand to the small of Gary’s back as he does so. Gary startles momentarily at the contact, but he quickly shakes it off and leans into the touch, beaming up at David.

“Becks!” he greets. “Me ‘n Carra were just catchin’ up while I was waitin’ for you to arrive. He’s stayin’ here this weekend, too, y’see.”

David notices that while Gary’s nattering away, Jamie’s eyes are fixed on where his hand is resting on Gary’s back, his lips pressed tightly together. David catches his eye and winks, giving him his prettiest smile.

He figures he might as well go all in, get the whole thing over and done with sooner rather than later, so he bends his head down to kiss the top of Gary’s head while he carries on chatting nonsense about tomorrow’s game.

The kiss stops Gary in his tracks, makes him blush a familiar shade of pink and then preen a bit, smiling up at David warmly.

Meanwhile, Jamie’s looking between the two of them like he’s ready to kill someone. Gary doesn’t spare him a second glance.

“Wha’d’ya fancy eating, Gaz?” David asks softly, pretending not to have noticed Jamie’s reaction.

“Whatever you like,” Gary says, just like he always does when the two of them go out to eat. “They’ve a pretty decent restaurant here, if you don’t fancy goin’ out. Otherwise, you prob’ly know the restaurants around London better’n I do, don’t you?”

*

David accidentally-on-purpose runs into him at the stadium the next day, and once again asks if he fancies going out for dinner.

“Erm,” Gary replies, reaching his hand up to rub at a dark patch on his neck. “I dunno, really, not sure if there’s anythin’ else Sky wants us for tonight, y’know?”

“Carragher can come too, if he wants,” David offers, rolling his eyes with a smirk at the way Gary instantly brightens.

“Oh!” he says, a blush rising up his cheeks, “oh, alright then! Think we’re both free, now that I think about it. I’ll just go check with ‘im and let you know.”

[fortheloveofnutrition]

I like to re post this every now and again because it's good advice I frequently forget.

Also I post it in part because I'm laying in bed with Covid (for the first time) at the moment and eating as much fruit as I can to expedite recovery. I grabbed a banana and orange, ate the banana and asked myself if this was a good combo or not. Glad I checked, because it was not. The last thing I need is indigestion.

But because it's me, my main focus has been doubling down on nutrition and observing my own results. I was eating plant based before, but sometimes I went a little too hard on the peanut butter trail mix, breads, or other sweet treats.

My doctor said rest and hydrate, but I took it a step further and since testing positive have cut out wheat, sugar, and any kind of dairy or processed foods. I figure nothing that could make inflammation worse. I've been consuming tons of herbs like cinnamon, ginger, echinacea, and turmeric while eating fresh citrus fruits like lemon, orange, strawberry, and pineapple daily.

Now I did a bit of tooling about the internet to see if any studies had been done over the last four years regarding a plant based diet and it's effects on Covid. The results were hopeful.

I found one study that said,

"Merino et al revealed that healthy plant-based foods could decrease the risk and severity of COVID-19.21 In this large survey, it was shown that as the quality of the diet rises, the risk of disease COVID-19 (HR 0.91) and severe COVID-19 (HR 0.59) diminishes.

Which gave me hope so I kept digging.

Another one stated, "Compared with an omnivorous Western diet, plant-based diets containing mostly fruits, vegetables, grains, legumes, nuts and seeds, with restricted amounts of foods of animal origin, are associated with reduced risk and severity of COVID-19. "

And I can tell you that has been my experience thus far. I developed a fever that went away after 24 hours and didn't go over 100.4. My only other symptom has been a stuffy nose with sinus pressure. Im definitely tired and need to limit activity but I can still taste and smell, breathe through my nose a decent amount of the time, and I'm not coughing. I'm lucky in that I have time off from work and for that I am grateful, as rest is another key component.

And why would a plant based diet be so beneficial for mitigating Covid symptoms? Because, "plant-based dietary patterns are rich in antioxidants, phytosterols and polyphenols which positively affect several cell types implicated in immune function and exhibit direct antiviral properties."

The full study can be found if you pop this into Google::

Acosta-Navarro JC, Dias, LF, de Gouveia LAG et al. Vegetarian and plant based diets associated with lower incidence of COVID-19. BMJ Nutr Prev Health 2024:e000629. doi:10.1136/bmjnph-2023-000629

I was really scared at first and this information helped me feel more empowered in my health and recovery. It's not a substitute for any medical attention or prevention like vaccines, hand washing, and mask wearing- all things I was doing regularly prior to getting sick which may have also been variables in keeping my symptoms down. A little help goes a long way.

Has any other plant based person had a similar experience? Let me know.

[mental-ch-illness]

um i really don't know who to ask about this so i hope you don't mind this here. im in a capital b Bad place rn, not necessarily mentally but productivity-wise i am non-functional. have known i am autistic for years now but recently finally got a diagnosis which opened up new help routes from the govt. i love with and am entirely reliant on my parents. im supposed to be a student but can't attend school bc Fuck Up.

my parents are suffering so much bc of me and are very uneducated about autism and everything is really difficult for us right now. we are a large family and so far treatment for me had cost SOOOOOO MUCH and im still not getting any better. my parents discovered ABA therapy and want to put me through it. they don't understand anything about the negatives they are just desperate for things to get better no matter what it costs on my end (which makes sense since im the one putting them thru this). i know they love me but it hurts a lot knowing how little they understand when they things like "well why can't you just do that" when they learn what masking is (i already do and also it's painful and that's such a shitty solution).

im so scared they're gonna make me do ABA and it's really expensive (you sign up for a chunk of sessions at a time and each one is 8k)(we are NOT RICH) but i can't just refuse because this has been going on for so long and everyone is miserable and im ruining my family. i can't just refuse a potential solution. but im so terrified i've heard the stories of what happens to people who go through ABA and i DONT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN TO ME

im a minor, financially dependent on them, and i love them more than anything so i can't just leave or smthn; they are always arguing and crying and it's always bc of me and i just want to be better for them; but they want me to do ABA

i need advice im so sorry i just don't know what to do at all anymore. should i suck it up and try it? it might break me inside but if it gets my outsides to function properly maybe it doesn't matter idk

I am so sorry you're going through all this. I want to reassure you that your parents very much love you. You are not a fuck up. School is not built for us. It's made to funnel people in structured 9-5 jobs with little support for anyone who can't fit into those boxes. I have been where you are now and I promise you that it does get better. It takes time and hard work— like... a lot of hard work— but it does get better. Hopefully your new diagnosis allows you to have more treatment options and you are able to achieve so much!

As someone who has experience with ABA, I have So Many Thoughts™️. ABA can be useful at teaching life skills, such as sorting, cleaning, safety information, communication, and tolerating overwhelming situations (example: doctors/dentists, school, etc). Personally, I find that it CAN be a great tool... but only in the right hands AND in a properly trauma informed and emotionally responsive environment.

Unfortunately, most people view ABA as a way to control problematic behaviors and increase compliance, instead of a form of theory that allows for a better understanding of the functioning of behavior. Personally, I think it is can be used for very young children or those who have much higher support needs. Again, it should be used to teach basic life skills. Even when that is the focus of a learner's program, it's very easy to get wrong which can lead to traumatization, prompt dependence, and more.

The field of ABA is just like any field of science and will need time to grow and change, but it's not something I can provide my full confidence in at this current. While it has improved in many ways since its early conception (it's kind of hard to get worse than rebirthing), it still has a long way to go. One of the biggest problems with ABA is that it fails to take the experiences of those with Autism into account. It took months of cajoling before I could convince an ABA practitioner to approve a oral stim toy for their client, and within that first week their self biting went from over 100 instances a day to less then 50. The practitioner seemed so shocked that an autistic person might just have a good idea or two on how to help another autistic person. Go figure.

Personally, I would look into Dialectical Behavior Therapy. DBT is known to help those with Autism learn to cope with emotionally overwhelming situations as well as sensory overload. Another really great thing about DBT is that there is often a group therapy aspect to it, which helps those with autism learn to interact positively in social environments with others who are going through similar experiences.

Hope this helps!