#but the thing with those other blogs was that there wasn't much attached to them. like all there was on them was it

[eggmeralda]

i need to Leave

[doumadono]

ANNOUNCEMENT

This is a turning point for me. I've been silent for too long, but I can't stay quiet anymore.

I'm going through writer's burnout, and it has hit me hard. I've been writing on Tumblr and Ao3 for nearly eight years now (with about 1.5 years on my private blog, doumadono). Over that time, I've written more than 400 stories across various fandoms, created the Sinful Sunday event and a series that many people like, helped many with numerous emergency requests — so many that one masterlist wasn't enough to cover them all.

But all of this has brought me to a place where writing no longer feels like a joy, but rather a duty. In my effort to make everyone happy, I lost myself and took on too much, accepting even the most twisted and difficult requests. It made me anxious and unwell whenever I thought about writing. This is why I haven't been posting much these past few weeks. I missed the breaking point and let myself reach a place where I was seriously considering quitting writing altogether and closing both my Tumblr and Ao3 accounts.

There's something else I need to address. I feel completely detached from Jujutsu Kaisen and Demon Slayer. I no longer feel comfortable writing for those fandoms. From now on, I'll be focusing mostly on My Hero Academia. Even though the manga recently ended, both the manga and the anime hold a special place in my heart. I’ve fallen in love with the story and its amazing characters. This is what feels right to me at this moment. That doesn't mean I'll never write for Demon Slayer or other fandoms again, but not now, not at this time. Maybe in the future — who knows?

Some of you might know that I've been dealing with a flood of hateful anonymous messages. Even though I’ve grown stronger and no longer consider them relevant, it still hurts to read such nasty words. This is another factor why I need to take a break.

So, what's going to change?

Sinful Sunday will no longer cover requests, and the event won't be as regular as it used to be. From now on, I'll post some sinful pieces specifically written for this event whenever I feel it's right. I'll write only for the characters I feel attached too.

Emergency requests will be limited to two slots and will no longer have a 48-hour window to be fulfilled. Once both slots are taken, emergency requests will be closed until I manage to clear the current asks in my inbox.

As of today, my ask box has been completely cleared. I won't be replying to any past asks, regardless of their origin or topic.

Commissions will remain open, as nearly all the requests have been fulfilled.

Regarding the following projects:

The Kvitravn series will be completed this year, but I can't provide a specific date just yet as I'm still working hard to bring everything together.

There's also a new series on the horizon featuring Dabi in the lead role, with a psychiatrist!Reader as the other main character.

As for Kinktober, I made a hard decision it will not be held as an event on my blog this year at all.

As of now, I want to focus on my own little My Hero Academia based AU that I created with my best friend @crystalwolfblog , and this is something that brings me a lot of comfort nowadays, and it's what I want to focus on. I’ll likely create another blog to post everything related to this AU, to keep things organized (the blog will be linked to my pinned post). This little AU was and is my safe haven for the past year and half, and since it contains all of my favourite characters, I want to focus on it fully.

The time for purification has come. I need to rediscover my purpose and find joy in writing again. To those who understand and have stuck with me since the ThePaperPanda days — you’re amazing and adorable, and I can never express how much I appreciate you, guys 💞

I want to share one last thought. This isn’t a statement, but rather a plea to readers: please respect writers, no matter the content they choose to explore. Writing is not as easy as it may seem; it requires a significant amount of time and effort, often taking up our personal time to craft a story. Don't send anon hate. Spread love instead! The least you can do to show your appreciation is to leave a comment, even if it’s just a word or two. For you, it’s a small gesture that takes less than a minute, but for the writer on the other side, it may be a much-needed sign that their work is meaningful. So if you enjoy an author’s work, don’t hesitate to leave a comment. It truly makes us writers feel like we’re on cloud nine.

Love you all, Marcianna

[lovewireds]

been meaning to post my designs for these little guys forever. insane splatoon rambling under cut to explain design choices and lore related things ... read my autism boy

btw this is a repost from our art side blog this was written and drawn like months ago <- minorly rewrote some things tho

thx splatoon users drfreeman & drcoolatta for fueling my splatvrai autism brainrot ... i hate u /J

GORDON

idk how to explain this but Theoretical Physicist is inkling coded . maybe its cuz splatoon species social hierarchy

Native ink color is Orange, but he has Dark Brown tentacle roots.

Uses custom weapons to attach in place of his prosthetic; It works best with Splatlings but can be adjusted to attach other weapons.

If the thing above didn't make it obvious, he's a Splatling main. He switches out depending on his mood though.

sighhhhh technically an Agent... stares at the ceiling...Main character...

His arm loss is like pretty much the same as in-canon but it's with the octarian army shrugs. don't ask me why he doesn't just regenerate it cuz hes a squid thats for me to know and you to find out. (get partially sanitized loser)

Born & Raised in Inkopolis pre-splashtags; He wasn't informed of the switch to Splashtags being expected when participating in most activities around Inkadia.

TOMMY

I forgot why i made him an inkling why did i do that. I think it was bc i didnt wanna make them all octolings but i was wrong srry we all make mistakes /hj I ALREADY REDREW HIM ONCE IM NTO DOING IT AGAINNN

Native ink color is orange-brown.

His hat has an eye guard for sensory reasons; He covers up as much of his skin as possible because he doesn't like the feeling of foreign ink on him.

He isn't a specific weapon main, he just uses any long-range weapon to minimize the possibility of getting ink on himself. If he has enough guarding, he prefers to use N-ZAP '89.

Makes his own gear for sensory reasons as well :) It's legal when ur dad's the G-Man.

Exclusively plays in Turf Wars, Anarchy Battles, etc with friends. He hates playing with people he doesn't know.

Born in Splatsville !! He feels like a Splatsville resident. His occupation is resident I cannot imagine him doing Anything

His dad is that creepy curtain in one of flounder heights windows /j

BENR(E)Y

Octoling bc I wanted him to be sanitized :) Other than the visual part of being sanitized, I thought him being clinically dead fits /hj also lore reasons below

Pre-sanitization, his native ink color was blue.

Great Turf War veteran; He didn't do anything in the war itself, he was just enlisted lol. He was primarily security for the Octarian Domes in the years after the war. Yes, that also means he is over 100 years old.

"Raised" (debatably) in Octo Canyon.

E-liter main (4-star Base + 5-star Scope) and avid squidbagger. He also uses any heavyweight weapons (dynamo, tenta, etc)

Absolutely hates working at Grizzco, he only does Turf Wars and Anarchy Battles. He only works at Grizzco during Big Runs. The type of guy that does X battles.

Professional Anarchy / Ranked / X Battler btw. That's literally 90% of what he does.

Got on Gordon's azz over him not having a Splashtag; i wonder what that parallels.

BUBBY

Genuinely don't have a lot to say about his design. He gives off Splatoon 2 Octoling vibes (showoff /hj) also i wanted to make his hair wispy like it should be.

Native ink color is a light blue-gray gradient.

The drawing doesn't give it credit but I swear those are glasses not goggles .. they're opaque-colored slanted oval glasses !! ^_^ u can interpret them as spiked or just eyelashes, both are right.

oh also the text under bubby says "Is Best" in some splatoon font we downloaded awhile ago . i think it was ripped from splatnet

Blaster main. I don't know how to explain this one but it feels right.

helps with the practical Map props (ie ink rails) and with some weapon gear manufacturing ^_^ tech guy

COOMER

Was going to make him an Octoling for the convenience of making his hair curly but i didn't want to make all of them octolings + i think his personality generally fits Inklings more.

Native ink color is an off white gradient.

Slosher main cuz he likes moving his arms. this makes sense to me. Also is a fan of Splatlings and other Shooters.

i felt ill trying to design coomer without making his eyes two lines with eyelids

War Veteran...Stole some octarian tech and got fucked up super limbs. Cyber Inkling stealing from octos !! [inkadia crowd goes wild] /j

anyways outside of the war™ he's a data researcher. just generally. he does shit with splatfests and eggstra work.

If you splashed him with ink he would stand unmoving. He would not shake it off.

DARNOLD

Ok i'll be honest the Octoling choice is primarily bc Octolings have the afro style & inklings have no textured hair styles (i didnt have the energy to design smth that could work) . His personality fits octoling too though :3

Native ink color is red-orange.

The fucked up guy that makes those drink effects people never use ( i use them ... )

He doesn't participate in Turf Wars or Anarchy Battles, but he works some gigs at Grizzco for extra cash every once in awhile !

the type of guy that goes after flyfish cuz no one else will . god bles !!!

not a lot to say about his design & his place in inkadia , it kinda speak for itself . he just wants to get by and make his drinks in peace . #autism ... he is pretty much exactly the same as his canon self

[flowerandblood]

ONE YEAR OF FLOWER&BLOOD

✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙

Exactly one year ago I posted my first chapter of the My Best Friend series. Nowadays I think it's something awful and I don't even try to edit it because I'd have to write everything from scratch, but I've left it for people who feel attached to the story. I remember getting about six likes and one comment on the first day and that huuuuge interest made me eager to create chapter 2 and then all the others.

I remember the excitement with which I waited and then replied to comments, not believing that people were actually waiting for the next chapter. At the time I was literally not following anyone, which was good because I wasn't comparing myself to anyone.

Eventually I felt I was ready to try writing other series and a few were successful enough that I decided to stay here permanently and create because it made me happy. Up to that point, everyone had been very kind to me and I started following more and more blogs, wanting to feel part of the fandom, to make friends with everyone. Now I know that was the biggest mistake I made.

Seeing things that didn't interest me, fanfic's whose way of writing couldn't draw me in, I felt frustrated, while at the same time fearing that if I stopped following someone, that person would see it as an affront. At the same time, The Impossible Choice, my biggest project until The Fall from the Heavens (which I'm currently editing and re-editing, while inserting on AO3), began to be written.

Just when I thought I had reached the pinnacle of my abilities (which wasn't true), I also started to clash with anonymous hate messages, probably the worst of which were those vilifying me and my husband, and those regarding my one-shot with Micheal Gavey. I know now that taking it personally and getting involved was my big mistake, and the fandom was shaken by drama that got out of hand.

I was a few steps away from deleting my blog at the time, but my husband talked me out of the idea (thankfully, as my stories aren't saved anywhere else − I'm only now moving them to AO3).

That's when I first realised that some people here I don't even like, and they probably don't like me. I wondered, why are we following each other then? Why are we pretending to have any courtesy? It was only later that I realised that to be considered someone's friend, you have to reblog their work and preferably agree with them even when they write hurtful things.

Since I've depleted my circle of those I follow to about 20 people, since I've blocked dozens of people and tags, there's been blissful silence (with the exceptions of when I write about behaviour in the fandom that I find toxic and someone accuses me of causing drama, but I'm used to it now). I've also never written happier than I do now.

Ideas come to me on their own, I don't feel uptight about what other big people will think of me, whether they reblog it, approve of it or not. I don't give a shit and life is beautiful! Although I can be emotionally unstable, I'm only 70 people short of crossing the next milestone of 3,000 followers, and that's BIG for me. It amuses me that I keep getting messages that someone is going to block me or stop following me, and you guys keep coming. It's gratifying.

I'm going to keep writing for you guys, and I'm sure during season two you'll also see my posts describing my impressions after the episodes in which I hope to involve my husband. I'll also keep you updated here on how I'm doing with my book I'm creating in my private life.

Apreciation

@ewanmitchellcrumbs

Ange. I know that sometimes I'm fucked up, but I want you to know that you've made this place so much more bearable for me that I can't imagine it without you. What I appreciate most about you is that you can talk and discuss, that you always try to understand the other side, that you are empathetic, warm and kind. I feel that, like friends in everyday life, we can also tell each other about things we disagree about, and there are not many people like that here.

On top of that, you are very talented and your stories are always a pleasure to read, even when they are short, you are able to build the plot and atmosphere perfectly, something I have always admired. Thank you for every kind word and understanding.

I still remember your first message to me via ask, referring to the fact that I didn't want to write a pairing with a mermaid because someone else was writing about it at the same time. My heart melted then, it was so nice!

@targaryenrealnessdarling

Liz, Queen of Angst! Your calmness and composure puts me in awe. You're disgustingly talented when it comes to writing and you have a super-sweet personality. When you started following me I began to squirm with delight, and when you started reblogging my stuff? My goodness!!!

@persephonerinyes

You've been engaging and reblogging my stories for as long as I can remember. Always involved, your thoughts make me smile. Thank you for being with me for so long!

@zenka96

You've been here with me since the dawn of time. You know that I love you. Your support from the very beginning really makes me feel like I have a friend here.

@huramuna

I am so proud of you! I remember your asks when I wrote Glass Cuts Deepest, your illustrations for me and your uncertainty about whether you should start writing yourself. I'm so happy for you and that you are so successful! You deserved it.

@black-dread & @aegonx

You are my favourite gif makers. Your work always leaves me in awe, you are amazing! I know how much work you put into it and somehow you make even the worst lit scenes look wonderful!

@summerposie; @0eessirk8; @melsunshine; @immyowndefender; @bellaisasleep; @kckt88; @thedamewithabook; @happinessinthebeing; @queenofshinigamis; @travelingmypassion; @mefools; @fan-goddess; @toodlesxcuddles; @ammo23; @troublesomesnitch; @mariahossain; @out-of-life; @apothe-roses; @heavenhatesme; @whitearemydarkestnight; @liv-cole; @blackswxnn; @echos-muses; @watercolorskyy; @at-a-rax-ia; @tssf-imagines; @snh96; @hiatuswhore; @exitpursuedbyavulcan; @darylandbethfanforever9; @the-dendrophile-bookdragon; @opheliaas-stuff @zaldritzosrose

Your comments and reblogs make me want to keep writing. You make me laugh, you comfort me and you support me. I know I'm definitely forgetting someone, but I want you to know that I love everyone who comments on my stories and there is nothing better for me than responding to your reactions and questions! I have known some of you for so many months that I truly consider you my good friends!

lottie-blue-star; aveatquevale-; aemondtargaryenwifey marvelescvpe; alphard-hydraes-blog; herejusttostan; li0nn3stuff; alexandrawho; vilmakamunen; angelinap09; theloveablestargirl; rose-blue-19; xxxkat3xxx; flosaureum; mandiiblanche; librawh0re; jasminecosmic99; ivvypg; rojocarnation; killmanduh; tokkiiidoll; wolfdressedinlace; angelofvivianne; nina2697; starwarsgirlsimmer1; katsucker; ipostwhtifeel; aemondsdelight; ilswemoon; tigrigri; pasta-rask; roselibrary; lystargs; gemini-mama; nikstrange; tempo-rary-fix; coffeeobsessedtrencher; gwuinivyre; dreamerbythewayx; diiickbrainn; mothmankit

And everyone else I missed and whose icons I would recognize from afar. I know that you have been with me for many months, often in silence or communicating anonymously. Your silent support and presence is something wonderful for me, knowing that you have been with me for so long and read all my posts!

Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!

[hard-core-super-star]

cross that line again [Y.Belova + K.Bishop]

pairing: kate bishop x kate bishop; yelena belova x yelena belova

summary: kate calls yelena for help fixing the mess she created. things don't exactly go to plan and the russian is forced to face some uncomfortable truths about her desires.

warnings: SMUT -> minors do not interact [selfcest; porn with little plot; character exploration in the midst of spicy stuff; yelena seduces herself; face sitting/cunilingus; fingering; yelena's in a bit of a domme mood; bishova is more than implied; did not proofread this enough

wordcount: 5k

a/n: a second commission has hit the blog! (yes, this is a smosh reference, shut up-) i was absolutely captivated by this idea the first time around and this second part did not disappoint. i don't write for yelena very often so getting to explore her character like this was super interesting for me. i think that's all i have to say, hope you enjoy and thanks for the support <3

[buy me a coffee]

* * * * * * *

If two days ago you would have told Kate that she'd be waking up in the morning next to herself, she would have assumed you were playing a joke on her. Sure, she'd seen a lot of weird things ever since becoming an official Avenger but that was a bit much.

At least that's what she would have thought at any other time.

Today, though, the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes was herself. Looking at her with a smile brighter than the sun coming in through the windows.

"Hey, you."

She was still getting used to hearing her voice come from somewhere that wasn't her own mouth. It was strange but she found herself getting more and more used to the familiarity hidden inside those pale blue eyes.

Sure, they were the same person and all but that didn't stop her thoughts from wandering whenever they looked at each other too long. It'd been so long since she'd felt like this for anyone and she'd be an idiot to ignore her desires.

"Morning, sunshine," she replied. "Sleep well?"

"Hell yes." Somehow, the smile on her face grew wider. "I feel reborn."

"I don't think that's because of the sleep, though." The smirk on her face made the double meaning in her words more than clear.

Her other self laughed, her hand coming up to playfully punch her shoulder. "Shut up, jerk."

"Jerk? That's not what you were calling me last night."

She was sure she'd never seen someone blush so hard so far. It was one of the most adorable things she had ever seen and she filed away the new discovery for later.

"Oh my god, shut up!"

"Make me." Her hands gripped the brunette's hips and she pulled her closer, laughing at the way she instantly tried to hide her flustered face in her neck.

"You're the worst."

She could hear the smile in her words and in turn, she snuck her hands under her shirt, drawing random shapes just to hear her gasp. "You're such a crybaby, Kate."

"Stop talking," she grumbled, getting her revenge by attaching her lips to a particularly sensitive spot on her neck.

Kate let out a soft gasp of her own at the feeling and she took advantage of the moment to dig her nails into the brunette's skin.

They spent most of the morning like this, riling each other up until the teasing grew to be too much to bear and they ended up tangled in each other. Over and over and over again.

Guess they really did sleep better than they had in months considering how much energy they had.

It took a long time, and more than a few orgasms, before they were able to keep their hands to themselves long enough to get up from her bed. It took all her self-restraint to not follow past Kate into the bathroom after she announced she was going to shower. She really really wanted to but she held back in order to call Yelena and briefly update her on what had happened.

Needless to say, the Russian didn't believe a single word she said and accused Kate of taking one too many edibles. Instead of arguing more ("That was one time, 'Lena!"), she simply told the blonde to come over and help them figure out what to do next.

She did sort of leave out the part about her and her other self being…more than friendly with each other but they'd cross that bridge when they got there.

A bridge that got way too close way too fast.

It wasn't like she wanted Yelena to walk in on them in the middle of an unplanned make-out session. But of course, the Russian decided to let herself into the apartment, without making any noise because she's "far more talented than that", and caught them in quite a…compromising position.

In her defense, it was hard to concentrate on making breakfast for them when the other brunette was wrapping her arms around her and kissing her neck. They were lucky she did it before she turned the stove on.

That did mean she ended up getting turned around and pressed up against the fridge but she didn't really mind.

At least, until Yelena coughed loudly and broke them out of their lust-filled bubble.

"Shit!" They exclaimed as they broke apart, their faces wearing matching blushes.

"You…you were not lying." She was sure she'd never seen Yelena look so genuinely shocked before. "There are two of you."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Kate said with an affectionate eye roll. "Tell me something I don't know."

"First, you have to tell me how this happened."

The Kate's shared a quick glance, the softness in their eyes directed toward the blonde and the way certain phrases still flew over her head. It was incredibly endearing but they'd never tell her that (mainly because she would instantly kill them afterward).

Despite the incredibility of their situation, they told Yelena everything that happened. Well, almost everything. They told her about the witch coven and the weird spell and the time travel but not about their hookup. Maybe it was silly considering she'd seen them making out and all but they still decided against it.

It would have all been fine if the blonde hadn't noticed something while they were in the middle of planning their move against the coven.

"Bishop," she said, her eyes trained on the side of Kate's neck. "What is that?"

"What's what?" Kate responded as her hand instinctively came up to cover her neck like she was a teenager sneaking around her mom's back again.

One simple look from the blonde had her wishing she didn't try to hide the truth from her. Damn Yelena and her scary assassin glare.

"Do not play dumb with me." Her tone left no room for sarcastic responses or stupid jokes.

"It's a, uh…a hickey," she mumbled, her eyes shifting from Yelena to her alternate.

They shared a long look, although the other brunette looked far too amused for her liking, and completely missed the shock that covered the Russian's face. Shock that was mixed with a bit of curiosity…and a lot of confusion.

"How does that even work?"

Past Kate jumped at the opportunity to answer far too quick for her to stop her from talking. "Well, when two people like each other very much-"

"Shut up!" She smacked the other brunette's shoulder right as she erupted into laughter. Of course, only she could find embarrassing her funny.

Yelena let out a long sigh at their antics. "That is not what I meant, Kate Bishop."

The disappointment in her voice made Kate laugh too and it helped reassure her that at the very least, she didn't think there was something wrong with them for being with each other in such an intimate way.

She most certainly thought it was weird but she couldn't blame her for that when even they thought it was weird. But good. Very good considering the way past Kate moaned their name all night.

It was incredibly hard for both of them to focus after that, especially since they could now be as affectionate as they wanted without feeling awkward about it. Kate had always dreamed about having a partner who allowed her to be touchy and borderline clingy without getting annoyed with her. She just never dreamed about said partner being herself.

It made more sense than she'd like but she wasn't about to complain. Not when the other archer knew exactly what she liked, how she liked it, and how often she needed it.

She could definitely get used to this.

Yelena, on the other hand, did not want to get used to this. To the way the Kates clung to each other, whispering snarky little comments to each other and and making each other giggle nonstop.

It wasn't like she was jealous or anything, she was simply annoyed that it took them an extra hour to come up with a plan since the handsy brunettes kept getting distracted by each other. It also didn't help that Kate was the only one out of them who had actually been inside the coven's meeting place and she couldn't focus for more than a minute at a time.

She was used to her short attention span but this was getting ridiculous.

It didn't help that there were two of them and she was the only one genuinely trying to solve their problems. Problems that would have been avoided had Kate actually listened to her for once and avoided interacting with their target.

She wished she could be mad but, sadly, the archer was too endearing for her to be genuinely upset at her. (She could practically hear Natasha making fun of her for being such a "softie" after all.)

Thankfully, they managed to somehow come up with a plan that didn't totally sound like a failure and didn't include them crashing through the ceiling of the hideout.

That being said, she still thought it was a shitty plan. Especially since it relied on Kate not getting distracted by her affectionate alternate.

She decided not arguing was the best course of action and before she knew it, she was getting dragged along by two overconfident archers. There was no rush but neither of them listened to her (what a surprise) and insisted they put their plan in action sooner rather than later.

Her initial complaints about bringing no supplies with her were instantly silenced by "future" Kate who reminded her of all the things she'd stored in the spare bedroom. Maybe storing some of her weapons and vests at the archer's apartment hadn't been the worst idea in the world.

And no, she wasn't just saying that because it made the brunette smile when she admitted she had been right.

Unfortunately, it seemed like Kate was worse than a broken clock and she could only be right once a day. She wasn't sure why she still blindly trusted her when it was clear she was the worst strategist she'd ever met.

That being said, the archer did technically manage to get them inside the building without much hassle. It was what happened afterward that solidified how little she should trust her from now on.

When Kate told her what had happened when she faced the coven the first time, she conviniently forgot to mention the part where they were looking for Yelena. And now the archer had brought her right to the witches doorstep.

"I have to give it to you, Ms. Bishop," the so-called leader said. "You have a way of making my job way easier."

She cursed under her breath, her annoyance growing as two pairs of slightly panicked blue eyes found each other.

They had done everything right, or at least they thought they had. They'd even listened to Clint's usual advice! They watched from afar, cut the lights and caused a distraction to make sure the leader was left by herself. The plan couldn't have been more badass than that!

And yet here they all were.

"What? Not even two of you can come up with something to say?"

"Only I can make fun of them," Yelena said, her hand already reaching for her knife. "And you are not as smart as you think you are."

"Bold words coming from exactly the person I was looking for."

"There is one thing you clearly do not know about me," the Russian said as she pulled out her knife, her feet carrying her closer to the woman. "I do not waste time chit-chatting."

Kate grimaced while she watched her do the one thing she told her not to do: rush at her enemy. She shouldn't have been surprised, though. When did she actually listen to her?

Both archers did what they could to back Yelena up but what happened next was inevitable.

One second, Yelena was right in front of her, knife in hand as she charged at the coven leader.

Then, she blinked.

And the blonde was gone.

Thankfully, the other archer managed to tackle the witch as Kate stared dumbfounded at the spot where the Russian had just been.

It took her a few seconds to realize what her sudden disappearance meant.

Yelena had been sent back in time.

Shit.

The Russian was going to kill her for sure. * * *

There weren't many things Yelena was sure of but she was sure Kate Bishop was going to be the death of her.

Not because she made her feel things she wasn't used to feeling or because she somehow always came up with the weirdest mission plans. No, she was going to be death of her because she got her sent back in time by a fucking witch coven.

What had her life turned into?

Maybe she would have been more on edge about the whole thing if she hadn't been forced to listen to not one, but two Kate's explain how she'd been sent back in time and found some sense of peace in herself.

As weird, and annoying, as their obvious feelings for each other were, it made her feel a bit better about the whole thing. At least she wouldn't be alone…although she was doubtful her other self would be as excited to spend time with herself as the archer had been.

She tried not to think about it too much, there was no use worrying about how she was going to explain this situation to her past self. All she could do was hope she wouldn't have to fight herself. There was no telling how long that could last.

The walk to her homebase was longer than she would have liked but eventually, she arrived and went through the long process of getting inside. Everyone thought she was a touch too paranoid but she'd rather be safe than sorry. Plus, Kate had offered to "buff up" her home security for free and she couldn't find it in herself to refuse.

That's how she ended up with a ridiculous amount of locks and a high-tech digital identity verification system. It was pretty cool in her eyes, even if it made getting pizza deliveries a pain in the ass.

She made her way through her front door, doing her best to not alert her alternate self of her presence. Sneaking up on her would surely be a bad idea but she also didn't want to burst in and risk getting attacked.

She found her past self in the kitchen and loudly coughed to get her attention.

The blonde instantly looked up, her eyes widening slightly once she saw her.

"Who are you?" Her past self asked, her hand already reaching for the knife tucked into her belt. "How did you get in?"

"I'm you, idiot," she replied, unable to stop her eyes from rolling. She understood her other self's apprehension, she would be reacting the same way had she not spent far too long in the company of one too many Kate's. "I have security access."

"That is impossible."

She suddenly understood what Kate meant when she said she often had "dry and obvious" responses. She still didn't understand why the brunette liked it so much, though. It was definitely annoying.

"If it was, I wouldn't be here right now," she replied just as drily.

Somehow, her response seemed to make sense to the Russian. A beat of silence passed before she nodded in what seemed to be approval. "Good point."

"That…that is it?" She asked, eyeing her suspiciously. "That is all it took for you to believe me?"

"Would you like me to fight you? Because honestly, I am still sore from my morning workout."

They locked eyes for a second before bursting into laughter. It was so weird but it felt right, somehow. She didn't have to guess or walk around eggshells, they both managed to understand each other in seconds without even using words.

Shit.

She was starting to think like Kate Bishop.

It seemed borderline impossible but maybe…Kate had a point. Maybe no one could make her feel as seen and understood as herself.

Maybe there was nothing wrong with wanting to explore a connection that deep.

"So, how did you get here, anyway?" Her past self asked once their giggles had died down. "I am assuming a mission went wrong?"

"You have no idea how wrong," she replied with an eyeroll. "I'm never trusting Kate Bishop's plans again."

"Why am I not surprised Kate is involved?" The amusement in her tone was difficult to hide. "Maybe we should go to her apartment and talk to her."

Her mind instantly filled with thoughts she didn't want to have. Thoughts filled of the activities both Kates were currently involved in…and the hickies that would be left behind. "I do not think she'd enjoy the…interruption."

"What are you talking about?"

"She is…enjoying some quality time with herself."

"What do you-" Past Yelena's face twisted into a mixture of surprise and confusion as the realization hit her. "You cannot be serious."

It was strange but she found herself growing somewhat defensive over the archers. She swore it wasn't because she approved of what they were doing or anything. It was simply because she saw how happy Kate looked with her other self. As much as it pained her to admit, she'd never seen her look like that before.

"I am," she replied, doing her best to keep her voice level. "Is that a problem?"

It was almost comical how quick she was to fluster. No one was ever able to make her blush and she felt a little proud of herself for achieving it so quickly.

"What Kate Bishop does in her free time is none of my business."

She couldn't stop herself from laughing. Her words would have been believable if they weren't the same person. Unfortunately for her past self, she knew the truth hidden beneath the surface.

The secrets she'd never tell another soul…except herself.

"So…you do not mind, then?" She asked, her curiosity getting the better of her. "It is not weird?"

They were the same person, she knew that, but she also knew what she would have said 24 hours ago. It wasn't like she was thinking of doing anything with her past self but…maybe she wanted to know she could.

"It's not the weirdest thing I've heard about Kate Bishop," the blonde said with a shrug. "I do not think it's for me, though."

Yelena should have let the conversation die there. It would have been easy to simply shut up and do something else. Talk about anything else. And yet she couldn't let it go.

She couldn't stop herself from asking the one question that had been on her mind since she'd walked in on both Kates making out.

"You are not even a little curious?" Her feet carried her across the kitchen floor without her even thinking until she was standing right in front of her past self.

She expected the blonde to shrug and step back from her. Maybe throw a warning her way and move on. But after all, they were the same person and the same things made them tick.

They shared the same, unspoken, fantasies and she knew exactly what to do. Where to look, where to linger with a soft touch.

She almost couldn't believe she was doing this but then again, she'd spent the past day more than a little frustrated. Haunted by ridiculously bad ideas featuring two pairs of identical blue eyes. Who better to give her some relief than herself?

"Curious about what?" Her alternate tried to appear unaffected but she knew herself better than that. She caught the clench in her jaw and her distracted eyes. "We are the same, your body is my body."

"That may be true…" She trailed off, her hand trailing down her arm. "But it will not feel the same."

The blonde rolled her eyes in response but she didn't push her off. She didn't seem to fully agree with her thoughts and yet she wasn't doing anything to stop her.

Yelena smelled a challenge and she wasn't about to back down without a fight.

Her hands found their way onto past Yelena's waist, slowly slipping under the hem of her muscle tank and tracing her stomach. The shiver her actions drew from her made her smirk and she couldn't help but feel a little proud of herself.

"This is wrong, you know that?"

The question made her chuckle. All it did was make her more emboldened, rather than embarrassed. Compared to all of the horrible things she'd ever done in her life, this felt like a walk in the park.

This was her choice.

And after years of feeling like she had no choice but to do what someone else wanted her to do, this moment bordered on therapeutic. Not to mention, ridiculously arousing.

"I don't know, you seem to be enjoying it a lot." She emphasized her point by gripping the hem of her shirt and pulling it off in one quick move.

"Fuck off."

She opened her mouth to tease her again but her other self didn't let her get very far. The blonde gripped her arms in a tight hold and moved her back until they made it to the living room.

A part of her wanted to fight back but she was a little too intrigued to stop her.

She allowed her to push her down onto the couch, taking a seat and subconsciously spreading her legs.

"Do not get any ideas," her past self said as she dropped to her knees in front of her. "I am just doing this to shut you up."

"If you say so." The amusement in her voice was more than clear.

It took the other blonde almost no time to reach out and start taking off her vest. Her fingers worked fast to undo the straps and push the garment off her shoulders.

With the vest out of the way, she was able to remove her tight compression shirt but not before very clearly admiring the way the fabric hugged her breasts. It momentarily reminded her of Kate which only served to remind her how desperate she was for relief.

"I think you are the one that's enjoying this a lot," past Yelena murmured, groping and squeezing her breasts through her top.

"Well, it was my idea," she replied as she arched her back into her touch.

The blonde hummed in response, her eyes darkening slightly despite how unaffected she claimed to be. "Naughty girl."

"Careful, I'm the one in charge here."

Her words were met with an eye roll and a pair of impatient hands that continued undressing her. Neither of them were complaining, though, so she allowed her shirt and bra to be removed in one quick move.

The cold air of the room caused her slightly hard nipples to fully harden and she could see her other self's restraint slipping in real time. That was all it took for her to move.

She reached for the blonde's hands and did her best to not smirk when she felt how tense she got as she pulled her hands toward her breasts. "What is the problem? Scared you'll like it?"

"You need to stop talking," she grumbled.

Despite her feigned annoyance, she fulfilled Yelena's unspoken order. They both shivered the second her hands wrapped around her breasts, her thumbs instantly rubbing over her nipples.

The moan that left her lips came out more like a growl, her nails digging into the other blonde's wrists. "And you need to start behaving."

Her words were met with a low chuckle. "Is that what you want? Did you run out of people to order around or something?"

She couldn't help but find her defiance attractive. She knew the reasons for it, the fire that burned underneath the surface, hot enough to burn anyone who dared get too close. But she wasn't just "anyone".

She pulled her past self closer until their faces were inches apart, her alternate's arms almost fully wrapped around her neck. Her words were a mere whisper as she spoke. "Maybe I just know you'll be far more obedient than anyone else."

If looks could kill, she'd be six feet under right now. "You are wrong."

"Then why are you on your knees for me?"

It was subtle but the fire in the blonde's eyes changed. The traces of defiance were still there and yet there was no denying the desire that was slowly starting to overtake the green in her eyes. She was sure she'd never seen a more captivating sight.

She waited for the snarky reply that was surely about to fly out of past Yelena's mouth but it never came. Instead, she was met with a smirk before she crashed her lips against hers.

The kiss felt wrong in all the best ways. It was messy and rough and far more passionate than anything she had shared with her recent flings. They had all been stupid moments of weakness meant to distract her from her unprofessional thoughts about a certain archer.

This was different, though.

It bordered on forbidden and yet that made it all the more exciting. Something the other blonde was feeling too given the way she was attempting to straddle her leg.

She wasn't quite ready to give her what she wanted yet. She had a much better idea.

"Lay down, detka." The roughness of her voice contrasted perfectly with the softness of her fingers as she caressed the side of the blonde's face. "And do not make me repeat myself."

Past Yelena huffed but she obeyed her perfectly just like she had expected. With her obedience came the rush of power that turned her on like nothing else.

It took her no time at all to discard the few articles of clothing left on her body, doing her best not to laugh at how desperate her alternate looked. The way her eyes trailed over every inch of revealed skin did little to soothe the throbbing between her legs.

Her intentions were more than clear once she sank down right above the other blonde's face. She briefly considering ordering her to keep her hands to herself but the way she instantly gripped onto her thighs to pull her down was far too arousing to tell her to stop.

A sharp gasp left her lips as she felt her mouth make contact with her soaked cunt. She hadn't even realized how wet she'd gotten from just a few touched. She'd be embarrassed if she wasn't so sure the other woman was on the same boat.

"There you go," she murmured as her hands landed on her other self's chest for stability. The action made her have to lean forward and she relished the strangled moan her movements earned her.

She ground her hips against the blonde's face, her eyes fluttering closed at the feeling of her desperate licks against her clit. "Come on, you can do better than that, can't you?"

She expected to hear a complaint but it didn't come. That didn't mean her other self didn't express her dislike for being ordered around in a different way, though. It's how she ended up with her lips fully wrapped around her sensitive clit and two fingers teasingly poking at her entrance.

The urge to ask for more was strong despite her desire to stay in control. It wasn't her fault considering her pleasure wasn't exactly in her hands. It was in the hands of her alternate self who was having too much fun being a brat and pushing her buttons.

Thankfully, it seemed like all she wanted was to hear her moans turn slightly whinier. Once she got what she wanted, she sunk her fingers into her pussy and doubled her efforts in an attempt to make her completely fall apart.

"Fucking hell-" She gasped, unable to stop her hips from chasing after her fingers every time she pulled out. "Don't fucking stop."

"Or what?" Her other self muttered.

A part of her wanted to tell her off for stopping to talk but the vibrations felt incredible.

"I'll tie you up and leave you there all day." It was, admittedly, a shitty threat but it wasn't like her brain was currently working at full capacity.

"You think I will not like that?" Her fingers sped up once more, curling just enough to bring her closer to the edge with each thrust.

"I don't think you want to find out, oh-"

The rest of her words died in her throat as she started to suck on her clit again, her tongue drawing rapid circles against the swollen bud.

"Just like that- Fuck!"

Her orgasm hit her like a truck. Her hips shook almost uncontrollably as she continued to grind against the other blonde, the feeling of her nails digging into her skin only adding to the pleasurable sensations currently overwhelming her body.

For someone so obsessed with being in control and having the upper hand at all times, this moment felt freeing rather than uncomfortable. It felt far better than anything she'd experienced before and a realization hit her as she rolled off of herself before she took advantage of her blissed out state.

"Motherfucker," she mumbled with a laugh.

"What?" Her other self asked, her eyes dancing with amusement.

"Kate Bishop was right."

They shared a look before erupting into a fit of giggles, both of them far too breathless to actually laugh.

"We are never telling her that."

"I agree," she replied as her smile turned into a smirk. "But for now, I think someone deserves a reward."

Even if they didn't tell her, she'd be able to notice the peculiar marks that covered their necks and the obvious blush on their cheeks whenever they made eye contact.

Who could blame them, though? After all, Kate had been the one to put the idea of spending quality time with herself in their head in the first place.

[kissorkill16]

I Hate My Eyes: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic

By JJ

Summary: Nicky tries to get his eyes back to normal.

(P.S., for @limoks-blogs !)

It was the end of the week, and Nicky was slowly starting to get better.

He wasn't sneezing so much anymore, and his throat felt less scratchy. Probably because Mr. Murtaugh had been making him take two spoons of whatever gross cold medicine each day.

Thankfully, Nicky was getting better, and he wouldn't have to take any of that stuff for a long time.

But there was one thing Nicky wished would get better.

His eyes.

He didn't feel like there was anything wrong with him. They didn't sting, strain or burn or anything, they were just...brown. At first, he didn't really care, but he noticed how a couple of people kept pointing it out.

His eyes were once jade, now they were brown.

Those jade eyes he once had made him look so lively and so happy, but now his brown eyes made him look dead inside.

And he didn't like it.

So as soon as he was well enough to go to school again, he waited until everyone was out of Mr. Murtaugh's classroom and went to see him.

He didn't have a session that day, since the science teacher said he had a meeting after school, but Nicky really needed to see him.

He waited until 4:00, slowly falling asleep as he waited for Mr. Murtaugh or anyone else from the meeting to walk out the door like they were finished. He woke up to his shoulder being nudged.

"Nicholas."

Nicky sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Hey.", he said, feeling a little lightheaded.

"Nicky, what are you doing here? I told you I needed to cancel our session today.", said the science teacher.

"I know, it's just that I needed to talk to you about something important."

Mr. Murtaugh led the boy inside his classroom and shut the door behind him. "What did you need to talk about, dear?", he asked.

Nicky looked down at his shoes, then back at Mr. Murtaugh. "Do you notice anything different about me?", he asked.

The science teacher tapped his chin, then he held Nicky's face in his hands and pulled him closer. He looked at both sides of his face, then under his chin, then around the rest of his body.

"Hmm...I'm not sure.", he said. "I normally take notes of what I notice about my students."

Nicky sighed, "It's my eyes."

The science teacher looked at him again, and his eyes widened. "Oh yes, I can't believe I didn't notice. I feel like I should have."

Nicky looked down at his shoes again.

"What's the matter with your eyes? Do they hurt?"

Nicky shook his head, "They were once jade, but now they're brown. I don't like it."

Mr. Murtaugh furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "I'm afraid I still don't understand.", he said.

"People keep pointing out how my eye color has changed ever since I escaped Mr. Peterson's basement. I didn't notice it before, but now that people keep pointing it out, I don't like my eyes at all anymore. I hate them now."

The science teacher gently pulled the boy closer to him, "Nicky, don't say stuff like that.", he said. "I may not know what Mr. Peterson had done to you to make your eyes change colors, but I promise that I will find a way to get them back to normal. Just for you."

Nicky smiled, "Thank you, sir."

"Anytime.", said Mr. Murtaugh, "Now run along, dear."

The next day, when Nicky got home from school, he was surprised to walk into his room and see a small white bottle. He went over to it and picked it up, reading the label.

"Eye Changer"

On the bottle was a little sticky note, and he read the note as he slowly opened the bottle.

"Put two drops of these in your eyes each day and your eyes should be back to normal in no time."

Nicky went to the bathroom and opened the bottle, talking a small bit of it in the tube attached to the cap. He slowly held the tube over his right eye and gently squeezed it, a single drop going into his eye.

The same thing he did to his other eye.

He blinked a couple of times. When he opened his eyes a little bit, he noticed that a small hint of jade was shining through his brown eyes.

He pressed his face to the mirror and smiled so wide, tears falling down his cheeks.

Soon enough, his beautiful jade eyes would turn back to normal, and he'd have his old self back in no time!

[lemotmo]

You certainly don't have to post this but I thought the answer was actually pretty good advice 😊

Q. Hello, I haven't been around the 911 fandom long but I think I may have gotten my hopes up about Tommy. It's increasingly clear that Oliver and Lou do not get on and I think I listened to wrong blogs and allowed myself to have expectations that don't appear to be likely. You do seem to understand the show pretty well so in your honest opinion do you think Tommy is sticking around?

A. Hello, anon. I wasn't going to answer this because I promised I wasn't going to post this kind of stuff anymore but I felt like you deserved an honest response. No, I don't believe he is sticking around. I do think we can safely assume that Oliver and Lou are not friendly with one another, but that's part of adulthood. We don't always get along with our coworkers. That's not the reason he's not sticking around though. What I would advise you to do is go back and listen to Oliver's interviews from last season. You can also read Lou's interviews that came out immediately following episode 4, those were show sanctioned interviews so the content would have been approved, unlike his cameo content. They all describe the relationship the same way. A temporary, introductory relationship. It was never billed or promoted, by Oliver or the show, as anything else. Oliver's lead is the one everyone should have been following. I know the consensus seems to be that Oliver doesn't interact with or engage in any B/T content because he doesn't like all the nastiness that surrounds everything now, and doesn't ship the relationship himself. While I think those things are true I think another part of it is that Oliver didn't want to give people false hope. He has spoken on this before in relation to Buddie content. He doesn't want to come across as encouraging something he can't promise. And in this case everyone said was temporary. There is no need for him to engage with the ship. I think he saw certain people were becoming attached and he didn't want to encourage them because he knows it's not going to be anything. I don't mean that in any kind of mean way, anon. But the reality is a certain group of shippers got carried away with something completely separate from what Oliver and the show were saying and they allowed that thing to frame their viewpoint of everything else. Pay attention to Oliver, anon. He is the one who will be honest with you. His silence pretty much tells you all you need to know. I'm sure that's not the answer you were hoping for but it's my honest opinion. Take care of yourself. 💗

Thank you Nonny! I will post this, because this post doesn't have anything to do with the fandom itself.

This is a post about the two actors, Tommy as a character and whether or not he'll stick around in season 8. I'm perfectly fine with topics like this.

This also ties in nicely with a post I made earlier today where an anon asked me a question about the BT pairing and whether or not it had a chance to be endgame.

A lot of the points Ali makes here are the same points I made in that post. The only difference is that she does it so much more eloquently.😉 If anyone is interested in that post, you can find it here.

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[clovermarigold]

Daggers & Daffodils Chap. 28

To those who are reading this on wattpad and AO3. I highly suggest checking out https://www.tumblr.com/blog/clovermarigold Which is where I post my works on Tumblr. I have extra content for my other series and may decide to do the same for this one if it garners enough interest. It is also much easier to send out announcements there, so you'll be more likely to know when new chapters will be released, what delays there are, as well as participate in polls that directly affect the plot. As a bonus, I am currently taking requests, so if you have questions about the fic, maybe want some head cannons of our favorite berserker drop on by!

think i might have outdone myself with the fluff in this one. also, BACK TO REGULAR LENGTH CHAPTERS

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, eyes fliting from the number of dragon hunters guarding the edges of the ship to your friends on the deck bellow you. It was clear they had tried and failed to escape. What made the situation worse was the fact that Heather seemed to be the one to foil the plan. Beating Astrid in a one on one. Something Tuff would not be letting her live down, despite being unarmed while Heather had her axe.

The whole situation felt wrong, being betrayed by such a close friend. You couldn't help but feel a bit petty. She had been so mad at you for 'not being honest' about your relationship with Dagur, and now here she was. Aiding him in his deranged mania, capturing and selling dragons, all the while preaching about being a happy family together?

She was furious with you, and suddenly she was yours and Dagur's biggest supporter. It didn't feel right. But regardless of how it felt, what mattered now was getting of this ship. Heather had convinced Ryker to make them work on the ship, an uncomfortable feeling settling in your gut when Dagur kept you from inheriting the same punishment. The idea of special treatment felt wrong in of itself, and you would much prefer working if it meant you could see Silver Tongue. 

The ship was on lock down now. Sneaking out would be near impossible, and that wasn't even taking into account the berserker currently attached to your hip. Deranged as he may be, he was smart. He kept you on a shorter leash than you gave Scabbard on wash day. 

There was always some part of him resting on you, whether it be a hand loosely playing with your fingers, an arm casually draped over your shoulders, or you 'least favorite' his head latched onto your neck, his chin hooking over your shoulder to keep you in his arms in front of him. 

The two of you walked the ship, Dagur rambling about floral arrangements, invitations, and other wedding chores. It was clear that though security was tight, the guards were all tasked to individual prisoners, focusing on one rather than communicating with the others. In this case, dividing and conquering would be your best bet. Knowing your brother, he was no doubt formulating a plan to break you and the others free. But how long would that take?

"What do you think?" you were caught off guard by Dagur's question. Was he talking to you? Of course he was, but you weren't exactly listening, "I don't really care". Dagur's smile dropped, giving you a once over. He was thinking something, you were sure. But whatever it was, he made no comment, only pulling you in closer to his side as he sped up your pace, choosing to refocus his attention to patrolling. 

Well, that was the opposite of what you needed.... Wait. The opposite of what you needed! It would only be a matter of time until Hiccup came back with his plan of action, whatever that was, so why not make things easier for him.

"I'm sorry" he paused your pace to shoot you a shocked look, "I just... Don't feel comfortable with all these people possibly eaves dropping".

He switched to a more concerned tone, "It's only temporary, you won't have to worry about them for long" the crazed look paired with the ominous warning left you on edge. Biting the inside of your cheek you pushed down any mixed feeling you had and decided to commit to your half-baked plan.

"Personally, I would pref-" he cuts himself off when you wrap yourself around his arm. "I don't like Dragon Hunters" you state bluntly.  His opposite hand moved to rest on yours, currently wrapped around him, "We can go back to the room".

"No!" you paused, recollecting yourself, "No. I don't want to go back in that room again... I need fresh air". You shoot a glare at a hunter you catch staring. Dagur notices too, grip tightening ever so slightly.

You don't catch what it is, but Dagur must have done something, because in a matter of seconds, the hunters on the back half of the ship excuse themselves. Mission complete, with the back half completely unarmed the ships integrity would be compromised. All that was left was to keep it that way. 

A deep breath sounded from the man beside you. You knew him well enough to tell he was in thought. About what, you had no idea. But considering it was Dagur, that was probably for the best. 

You pause, thinking of what to say, "Is she happy with you?" was all you could come up with. And it was an important question in your mind. Heather had been very clear in her conflicted feelings about staying with the group. For her to do THIS was completely out of character for her, but at the very least you could get a gage of why. 

"Of course," the way he jerked his head sharply showed genuine confusion to the thought it would be anyway else. 

"I just... want to know that she's ok" not entirely untrue. You wanted her to be as well as she possibly could. So, strangling her unconscious would feel more rewarding. You mentally chastised yourself for thinking something so cruel about a friend. Then again, was she even still your friend after this. 

"Y/N", it wasn't anything new, but it always felt a bit wrong when he called you by your name. He only ever did it when he was trying to point out 'flaws' in your beliefs. Even when he said it to tease you, he did it in a way that felt like a nick name or a term of endearment. You don't like how much he's been saying it. Every time he says it the pit in your stomach feels a bit larger.

"I promise you; I will never do anything to hurt our family" it was said seriously. Something that felt foreign and uncomfortable on Dagur. Not even threatening, just a solemn oath. Granted you saw the irony in the promise, with him actively trying to kill your brother. But you suppose that was just because in Dagur's logic Hiccup wasn't a part of your 'real' family. 

It didn't excuse anything, but at least you were learning a bit more of how his insane and unruly logic worked. The fact that you were likely the one to know it best concerned you to no end. 

Not knowing how to add to the conversation and emotional bombshell that just happened, you contented yourself to tightening your grip around Dagur's arm, slightly leaning your head in as well. 

To your surprise, Dagur didn't take this as a sign or excuse to tease, make a move, or even comment on anything. Instead, he stayed silent, quietly watching the horizon. Though you did feel his thumb ever so slowly beginning to move up and down on your wrist.

It was... peaceful. Actually, now that you think about it, this might be the most calm and gentle moment you've had in months. Sun shining a warm blanket on your skin, mist cooling you in waves, and the faint sound of Dagur's heartbeat mixing with the ocean.

It made your mind wander. Back to when you were kids playing on the cliffs. Chasing each other because one of you wouldn't stop cheating. Getting tired and sleeping under trees instead of going back to the village because your parents would make you go home. Simpler times.

You didn't notice when Dagur's head had moved to rest on yours. But it didn't bother you as much as it should. Just an extra pressure, but not an uncomfortable one. Like a blanket, just heavy enough to make you feel extra safe. 

For a moment you wished time would stop. That you could stay in this moment, free from any expectation or plague of reality the world would throw at you. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case, and you would be pulled from your peace in a cruel and painful way.

A howl sounded from underneath the ship. And not just any howl, you knew that sound, "Silver tongue!". Dagur was quick to try and grip your arm, unfortunately for him you were just quick enough to slip past him and run towards the hull.

"You have no idea who you're messing with!" the sound of Astrid yelling from her cell only made your blood pressure spike ten times over as you nearly leapt down the stairs. The scene of horror you were met with was more than enough to shatter any moment you thought you were having. Silver Tongue strapped down in a cell struggling harshly against three hunters as they roughly pulled the arrows from his wing and left him. 

You moved to rush them when a sharp pain emitted from your scalp. "And where do you think you're going" Ryker, "I thought you two were keeping an eye on this one". 

"A mistake on my brother's part" the sharp sting dissipated as you were traded into the much softer hands of Heather. "His wounds will get infected if you don't let me treat him" you pulled against Heathers grip to no avail. Looking back, you were met with Heathers dethatched gaze, though you could sense a faint guilt behind her steely exterior. 

"That's the buyers problem. I won't go wasting any supplies on faulty merchandise. Sides" he leaned closer to the cage, causing silver tongue to let out a low growl. "His hides already damaged beyond worth. Suppose his skeleton would make a good center piece".

"I'll kill you" Your thrashing was enough to break out from one of Heathers hands. And had you not been so quickly traded into Dagur's you may have been able to get a good swing in on the bastard, "Heh. Put her in the brig. Before I throw her in a cell". Threats aside didn't stop you from putting up a fight as you were dragged away back into that Odin forsaken room again. 

---------------------------------

"I think that little brat's growing on me" Ryker joked.

"Ryker! Rykeeee" a frown spread across Dagur's face as he felt a twitch in his eye. Oh, so he was going to call his wife a brat after insulting his sister, and him. Well, that wasn't going to happen. Damn the plan, Dagur would rip out Rykers spine for the whole fleet to see if it meant putting him in his place. 

A glare from Heather pulled him from his murderous thoughts. 'Fine. You luck out today', it was a good thing Heather was there. With the exception of you no one else could, or even really knew how to ground him. Ryker would get to live for today, but that wouldn't stop him from making... alteration to the plan, specifically ones regarding what he would do to him once everything came into focus.

 "Little side note" his smile dropped, "If you ever disrespect my wife again or so much as touch her, I won't hesitate to wear your ribcage as my battle armor". The ship went quiet as the two stood still, neither moving so much as a hair.  

For a moment, Heathers fingers brushed over her axe, waiting for a fight to break out. "Hmph, keep her out of my hair" Ryker turned with a huff.

"What hair" Dagur mumbled like a child, only for a smack to hit him upside the head. "Ow, what was that for" Dagur turned towards his sister.

"For almost screwing everything up. I want to beat Ryker too, but we can't do that until we get to Vigo" Dagur rolled his eyes. "I don't see why you're so obsessed with meeting Vigo, the guys not even that interesting. You don't have a crush, or something do you? Because he is way older than you and as your brother I absolutely forbi-" Heather shoved a hand over his mouth before he started yelling.

"No, you idiot. We need Vigo so we can get access to the Dragon hunter monopoly, then when the time is right. WE take over" a sinister look took over Dagur. "Oh, I knew you were a genius, mom would be so proud". Heather bit back an insult and hit him on the back, "Go check on Y/N. I don't doubt she's losing it"

"I don't understand why she's so upset over that overgrown lizard" Heather turned sharply to her brother, "You wouldn't get it!".

"Alright alright, touchy subject" he backed away slowly.

Stopping outside the door he could hear you pacing, gods he hated it when you were worked up like this. Don't get him wrong, it was adorable, and hot. But only when it was, he was the one to work you up. Not Ryker.

knocking lightly, your pacing stopped. "My love" he opened the door carefully, stepping in. "I know you're upset so I thought we coul-" A fist collided square with his nose sending him stumbling back.

 ---------------------------------

You were angry. No, that would be an understatement, you were livid. So naturally the first thing you would do upon having anyone dare to enter your space would be to knock them as hard as you could in the nose. Your dad always said you had a nasty right hook.

It didn't surprise you when it was Dagur, honestly, who else was it supposed to be. That didn't cause you to feel any twisted form of guilt like it usually would. No, if anything you wanted to do it again.

"Wow!" Dagur said shocked clutching his nose, which was now bleeding, "If you don't give me my dragon I swear I'll rip you're damn head off!".

Dagur nodded still clutching his nose with wide eyes, "ok ok.... You're very pretty right now, can I kiss you?". You raised your hand to hit him again, though this time he was prepared, swift to dodge, "Ok I get it. I'll get the overgrown lizard some medicine or something".

"I mean it, Dagur. Real medical attention" he put his hands up assuring you repeatedly. 

"Have you been working you because I think I can smell colors" taking a deep breath you have him a once over. Damn it, did you give this man a concussion?

"Sit on the bed" obediently, without so much a word of argument, Dagur listened. Lifting his chin up you checked his eyes, making him track your finger. ok, visual awareness seems fine. You snaped in his right ear, "Ow, what was that for?".

"Good, you can hear fine. You're being dramatic, you're fine". You moved away from him. How had things been so fast to go to hell. One moment you were having the most relaxing rest of your life. The next you were angrier than you had ever been in your life.

"You know, you're getting a lot better at this" you turned to the idiot in question, "Hitting you?".

"No, acting like... you" you raised a brow. "Actually, expressing yourself. A month ago, you wouldn't even yell at me beyond 'you're delusional, I'm never gonna marry you, Dagur', " he said in a terrible mock imitation of your voice, "Now, you're actually dealing with the real problem".

"The real problem? My problem is that you can't help but ruin my life!" you scream. "THERE! Right there! You're actually learning to speak your mind. Not the rehearsed argument you tell yourself to sleep at night, your actual thoughts" he laughed.

"You're insane" you groan in irritation and half disgust, "Ok. bit of a step backwards but some of that is you".

"Can you shut up" Dagur, to your relief, did stop talking.

Gods, even when he's not talking it's like you can hear voices in your head yelling at you. Wait.... no. Those aren't in your head. "Dragon riders!". Hiccup!

"Stay down here" Dagur shot up, slamming the door behind him, the sound of a lock sliding into place confirming your suspicions. 

You hadn't been successful in managing to make his plan easier, so you would have to hope his plan would work. A scratching at the door grabbed your attention, followed by a small spark of fire through the crack underneath, "Scabbard! Good girl".

She let out a pleased chirp at your praise. "Ok, pleeeeease find a way to understand me and slide the lock open" silence. "I will give you all the fish if you unlock this door", nothing. "I will give you all of Silver Tongue's fish if you open this door" the metal bar rang as it hit the floor.

"You little con artist" Scabbard shot up off the ground, purring as she nuzzled herself in a vise grip around your neck. "I know, I know, no more privacy when I get home huh".

Sneaking upwards you were relieved to see the hunters were preoccupied with Hiccup and Snotlout in the air, allowing you to get into the hull where your friends were already making their escape.

Granted they were still dealing with the few dragon hunters downstairs with you. You trusted them to be able to handle them, your priority was Silver Tongue. Quickly, you slid past and ran to his cell, cutting the ropes as fast as you could. It wasn't clear if the hunters had done it, or if it had been Silver Tongue while trying to free himself, but he was covered in small cuts and scratches, bruising covering underneath his second left wing. 

"It's ok, were going to get you home, and clean you up" he let out a low pathetic growl and huff, he was exhausted, sorry Scabbard but you weren't getting any of his fish.

"Y/N!" Astrid called. "I'm coming. Come on buddy, you got this". Carefully, he pushed off the ground, launching up through the open hatch in the ship Storm fly had blasted open. 

Dagur was right, you had gotten better expressing your anger. And with Thor as your witness Ryker was going to learn just how much anger you had.

---------------------------------

thank you for reading!!! A longer chapter to make up for the wait. Thank you to everyone who has been commenting, I read every single one.

ps. no proofread on this one so sorry for spelling and grammar errors

Taglist

~~~~

@demogorgon-master1

@mj-jabami

@alicee-carter

@amearla

@milenaester14

[fangs-claws-paws]

Space Marines and my Thoughts

Alright fuck it, exploration of my thoughts on space marines and what I think of their meaning. Even though I know that I'm prolly gonna get mocked for this, this is my blog and I get to become emotionally attached to the super freaks and claim there's a deeper meaning to them even though it isn't well discussed in the few books I've read.

Under a read more cuz this is going to be a long one.

Space marines are just as much victims of the system as the average citizen

Space marines are children who were taken at a young age and were repeatedly exposed to extremely traumatic events to develop the right type of PTSD for ascension to space marines. Created intentionally by the emperor to make a mass-produced super soldier, which he also likely planned to completely execute once that phase of his plan was finished, so consideration for actually making functional people wasn't really considered. Even after their ascension to space marine they still are just as much meat in the grinder as every other human, just cuz they can survive better than an average human doesn't mean there aren't bigger things that can completely mulch them.

Space marines are viewed by regular humans as either ethereal angels of destruction or as barely acceptable mutants, both leading to isolation from those around them

In the first/second chapter of Horus Rising (if I remember the title right) we see through the eyes of a rembrancer that she sees space marines as mutants that are only respectable because they are working for the emperor. While likely the view of space marines as mutants has fallen out of popular opinion, the view of them as angels of death both still end up with the dehumanization of space marines. Despite their human origin and still frankly just being extremely emotionally traumatized humans with modifications, they aren't considered human. Which can lead to frustrations in communication, this can lead to either just avoiding humans alltogether to avoid being objectified, or leaning into that stereotype either to just stop fighting it or perhaps a way to live as an individual by justifying choices under their dehumanization.

Space marines fall under just as much scrutiny from the inquisition as the average human, if not moreso depending on the inquisitor

We see in the Ahriman Omnibus that an entire chapter is wiped out on the command of one inquisitor with the backing of a Grey Knight. While most inquisitors may not have the desire to poke the bear as it were, I feel many put space marines under a microscope because they don't follow certain pieces of the Imperial Cult (e.g. don't believe the Emperor is a god). This can lead to increased suspicion and further isolate space marines from the general human population. Which can lead to lashing out and turning renegade/traitor, becoming extremely insular in hopes of avoiding judgement for chapter belief, or this scrutiny becomes reflected towards other members in hopes of placating the wolves by sacrificing their own.

The extreme trauma they faced both during ascension and their service isn't expressed in healthy ways, which further alienates them but help forge bonds between other space marines due to shared traumas.

Their trauma is something they simply have to bury, or treat as par for the course, and thus deal with the psychological repercussions on their own. This can lead to childish behavior, violent outbursts, emotional withdrawal, etc. Which is well documented in the real world when people suffer traumatic events and don't get the help they need in processing it. They form close bonds with other space marines due to a potential subconscious acknowledgement that the other understands what they've went through, and can find safety in what to them is extreme vulnerability. This bond can definitely be formed between them and a guardsmen, but what a space marine may view as vulnerability might not be seen as such by a regular human.

[diviningrodtv]

Oh yeah, NSH Time.

I've been holding this post back for like a week😅

I absolutely love how NSH came out and I think he's currently my favourite rain world model that I've done! (Sorry Pebbles, I'm going to upgrade you later anyway :]

I also made his scarf easily removable so you can see how the stripes aren't just on his head! The stripes and his irises also glow, but a bit brighter than the areas on Five Rotten Pebbles.

His antennae are pretty similar to how I did Sliver's, especially considering I did his first! XD They're separated from his head a bit.

Also if you've noticed in my art that his eyes are the exact same as in the model here, that's because they are! I tried finding a way to draw them how I usually might, but I just couldn't get the same vibe! So I said, "Fuck it!" and I've been drawing over his model ever since XD

NSH is also who I used to make the "umbilical arm" model! So if you saw those posts, that's why the textures are all messed up!

And here it is in all it's glory!

It's mostly made of ball joints with a flexible joint attached to the back. The last segment also twists just like your forearm bones!

Also..... lore shit below cause I have, plans™ so-

If you don't want to know why NSH is acting strange on my blog yet, read no further!

(there's also some downpour spoilers, and some other disturbing things)

*slaps top of can* This bad boy can fit so much fucking insanity in him. (cw: self-harm yeah you heard me)

If you haven't figured it out already (I did drop hints :) NSH's structure is damaged! His legs are giving out because a group of scavengers thought it would be funny to transport all of their explosives at once.

So he's in a bit of a pickle!

This is when Looks to the Moon and Five Pebbles' communication tower is repaired! During their first conversation in a very long time, NSH finds out about good ol' Hunter long legs, and is rightfully distraught! He feels like a total failure, that he wasn't experienced enough to properly create his messenger.

That's what this whole post was about!

But, experience is something that can be gained.

NSH figured if Five Pebbles was able to leave his can, then he should be able to as well, but that requires solving the three problems I mentioned in the Five Rotten Pebbles post:

The self-genome modification barrier,

A general lack of puppet central brain matter, and

No material processing within the puppet.

I'll talk about my umbilical lore for this AU here since it's relevant.

Either the "cord" or the "arm" can be disconnected, but not both. This is for ease of repair by administrators. Disconnecting them both would leave the unfortunate Iterator fully functional. Although, they would be blind in the visible spectrum (apart from overseers), unable to speak directly to someone in their chamber, and would otherwise have their workflow be severely impaired. They would effectively be trapped in their own head.

NSH realised that even if the barriers existed, they could still have the intentions, to break them. So what would happen, if he broke one? Not by writing it out of his system, Five Pebbles already proved how risky that method was, but instead by setting his actions in motion faster than any barrier could stop them? This was something to test, and wasn't that what Iterators were built to do anyway?

Umbilicals can only be disconnected by administrators, but what if he were to do it anyway? He needed to leave his can after all, it wouldn't be much of a loss if he was stuck on the floor of his chamber or floating aimlessly in zero gravity for a while.....

So what if he just ran fast enough to rip himself off?

What if he moved his arm back at the last second, could he gain enough inertia to pull it out of his back? Even if it took a few tries?

What other choices does he have? Perfect Five Pebbles' method until he collapses and continue even then? He had time, but not enough for that, and The Hunter certainly did not have any time for waiting around. NSH had to fix his mistake, he had to.

So this bastard goes and does exactly that, and short-circuits his entire system.

Not just breaking the umbilical maintenance barrier, but every other one in the process.

And it all hurts like hell.

But that's the first problem solved, and now he can help keep himself afloat longer. So that now, he can figure out how to solve the other two problems with precision.

Of course, the others won't like any of these plans, but, after what Five Pebbles did, they wouldn't dare disturb him if he stopped responding, right?

And maybe, he could even hijack their communications array, to look for help.

>:]

yeah so NSH is not sane

[gleefullypolin]

Just talking to myself about my favorite topic

I'm saying this for ME. It's my blog and I like to muse. But I have made it through my season 1 re-watch. I'm getting ready to start episode 3 of Season 2 before we get to Polin Season... I also re-read RMB just for things I could pull from there as well.

For context I was a Bridgerton virgin, I had no idea there were books and I went into the show having no context to what it was about. I pulled Polin as my interest from episode 1 because I like the nerds and its just what I enjoy. I had no idea they were a thing or had a book or ended up together until after Season 2 had aired and there was discussion about "their season and I looked it up". Lucky me :)

Anyway, I really wanted to do that to get my feelings in the right place and remind myself where we were. Boy did it bring up a lot of feelings.

First off, Colin wasn't exactly stupid to Pen's affection, but he wasn't clued in either in Season 1. She was very much attached to his sister's hip and very young at this point. Asking to go pretty much play with Eloise makes her very young in my eyes. I think she grew up a lot in this season with the awful Marina storyline. It forced her from her infatuation stage into feelings for Colin. (I still hate everything about that damn storyline tho)

Let's talk about the brothers as we think about S3 brothel BS. Anthony and Ben were dipping their wicks into a lot of candles this season. Ben had a threesome at the party with the Modieste and another girl at the party. Anthony was pretty much doing it everywhere and then at one point I think he spent the family fortune paying the brothel tab, they even had a "coin" sound for a good 30 seconds of him paying money.

When Anthony talks to Colin about the Marina situation, he tells Colin he blames himself because he didn't take him to brothel's like he should have to sow his oats before he settled on his first girl. Because THAT was a what men did back then. Colin grew up with Anthony as his father after his own dad died. He watched his brothers and learned from them. Once he started traveling he learned from what he had there. This is what he knows and believes is being a man.

Season 2 he even came back a new "man" per se. He's drinking more, and the Jack Featherington of it all. I won't go into all that until I'm at those parts of the re-watch. I think it's interesting so far just in two episodes seeing his interaction with Pen is already so different than season 1.

Season 1 it was talking to a sister, but already its different, they have more to say after writing to each other. They seem to want to interact and suddenly El is a distraction to them BOTH. They both seem annoyed when El pops up to take Pen away, like it annoys them both that she isn't letting them talk. That was new that season.

They also wrote Colin very confusing in S2. In S1 his affection toward Pen was brother/sister yes. And in S2 I'm not saying its changed per se, but it's less. Yes he gave the line "You are Pen" and I did yell at the TV, "That's going to bite you in the ass, you big cunt" and my husband asked if I needed to be alone. But the way he says it, the smile, it wasn't meant to be insulting. He means it reverently. She means something to him. He has no fucking idea what, but it's something to him. something more than El, but not as much as what he thought Marina meant to him...YET.

The looks he is giving her in S2 in just 1 episode mind you because he's not in episode 1 so this is all from episode 2 are a bit of awe. He stares at her in wonder. Like he's still trying to figure out what to make of her after conversing with her all summer. Peeling back the layers of what he has discovered.

More to come once I finish season 2.....

Also in RMB I did find this quote and it reminded me that Colin is not quite so innocent in Pen's mind in that world either:

He was, for all his rakish and mischievous ways, for all his jokes and teasing and sly humor, a good and noble man. And he would be a good and noble husband.

[sleepynegress]

Love this interview... I have been semi-checking in on Zawe's journey since before certain stans were feeling some kinda way about her recent familial additions. I do for certain Black actors/creators especially, who seem to be moving in interesting ways in entertainment/film media...

-A remnant from a period when I used to go to screenings and blog about films (and was published a few times in a major national newspaper)... So, I knew of Zawe through the grapevine of her mentorship, i.e. she is the reason why Rege Jean Page of Bridgerton fame got to work in U.S. markets, as she sponsored him. And she is known, as one of those "good eggs" who will be accessible and help/advise especially young actors of color. ...But, I have some other stuff to say. This isn't about proving that she's an amazing human being. It's about a certain brand of misogynoir that some of these people far beneath her in self-knowledge, self-love, and just plain grown-ass-woman-personhood...keep letting fly in what they *think* are compliments, but actually are just trite microaggressions. Saying things like "as long she makes [T-blank H-blank] happy then she's alright" as if he's the centered human and her attachment renders her worthy somehow. Babies, as long as SHE'S happy. Yall. He's marrying up.

WAY UP and the fact that he knows this? Actually elevates him. She's been there.

She tells a story in the above interview that reminds me of Uzo Aduba's anecdote about her name , - of an incident when she was called to an early job (at 6!) and someone there said she wasn't pretty because of her gap and her Ugandan mother took her on past this person and into the room, ANYWAY.

... She learned a specific self-knowledge and self-love, that is necessary in very white western spaces that constantly pressures a narrow sense of worthiness and beauty, especially from Black women, something a lot of these small-minded stans don't even have a notion of seeing beyond. Zawe is biracial, and her features, aside from her skin tone are very African. So while she benefits from colorism, featurism is something I've seen those bigoted stans, pick on as well. She knows those features are what makes her beautiful and knew that, w/o and before her partner saw that too. And people who aren't blind narrow-minded ignoramuses can *also* see that. This is why I assert the fact of featurism needing to be in the conversation of light/dark privilege conversations. Lips, nose, gap, and even the set of her eyes are ethnic beauty markers within quite a few spaces in the Black African diaspora... My mom was an absolute stunner because of her gap.

Even the old school white model Lauren Hutton got there because of her gap. Uzo Aduba, who I have already mentioned has a deeper skintone and has similarly large round striking eyes, gap, and a non-pinched-nose *rightly* played Glinda in NBC's production of The Wiz a few years back, with Dorothy saying she's so beautiful *because* of those features, not despite them as a very narrow white-washed gaze would wrongly assert.

And while we're here that includes sizes and shapes too. I'm saying your boy is enjoying all that plush. A lot of yall need to read or reread Maya Angelou's Phenomenal Woman, for comprehension.

Anyway... All this to say I know Zawe is and will be fine regardless.

P.S. Maya Angelou *also* had height, and gap and was very much known for her beauty/magnetism as a woman when she was alive. :

[elliespuns]

What is your perspective on tlou2 being inspired by the Israel-Palestine conflict? It didn't register with me at first but I've gotten too attached to the characters by the time that I discovered it and it is genuinely disappointing HOWEVER I have separated their narratives from the political dimension of the game by just focusing solely on the individual emotional journeys that each of the characters go through and I never really bought the games myself first hand except get them second hand but is it still wrong to adore the characters?

Not happy about it. I mean, who would be?

I wasn't aware of it at first either; it just didn't click, and then I started seeing the rumors, and well, it all made sense. I am disappointed. Not at all for Neil Druckmann, though. I don't really care about him (except for his amazing mind, where he created Ellie and Joel, the only fictional characters that I've got to love so much). What I am disappointed in more is that almost everyone thinks that once you continue to love this game, you support the evil too. Which is not how I feel about it.

But then again, does even my opinion matter? I've already got a lot of anon messages throwing hate on me for managing a blog about TLOU and supporting the evil. And I sit here and wonder... where did I ever say that I supported the bad side of the conflict? I don't think I ever did. Why? Because I don't talk about politics on this blog. This blog has been made to share love with all TLOU lovers, not to support Neil Druckmann or anyone else's political views or to even share about politics in general.

People are quick to judge. They go and preach to stand with Palestine and then go hate on the people who chose to stay quiet. People should realize that individuals managing fandom blogs and not sharing politics doesn't automatically mean that they support the evil. We (bloggers) have our own personal lives out of our blogs and our own personal accounts. Many of us are posting about the conflict on our personal social media. People should think about this before making bloggers feel like shit for managing silly blogs where they don't want to discuss what can be discussed elsewhere.

I have a deep bond with this game; I had it a long time ago before any of this was happening (everyone knows I will always prefer the first game over the second). This is not something I can just throw away. I have memories connected to it, feelings, emotions... it's not like I can tell myself 'fuck the game' now just because of the news I got. I guess it's easy for others when the bond is not so strong, but this game has been in a better part of my life for so long, and believe it or not... when I think about how Ellie and Joel make me happy, I don't have fucking Druckmann in mind or any of his political views.

I will never mix my admiration for this project with politics. Me not agreeing with Neil Druckmann's political views won't change the fact that I've already fallen in love with this game years ago. I am not loving Druckmann; I am loving something he once created. That is a big difference. Especially if you've already loved the game before the conflict.

I say, unless you're actively supporting the propaganda and throwing your money at it, you are not hurting anybody. You, being emotionally connected to the story of this propaganda's project or its characters won't really change a thing. Not for good, yes, but not for bad either.

Anyway, this is my opinion. I think people should stop judging those who are not sharing politics on their fandom blogs because they never know what these people share on their personal accounts. We are here to enjoy things that are free; love and joy for fictional characters we've adored for too long.

Sorry, I got a bit carried away. This is probably the only post about politics I'll share, so this needed to be said.

Anyway, you don't need to feel bad for loving the characters. You are not doing anything wrong. I think every one of us who still loves TLOU to this day is able to detach from the fact of who's behind the games. We're here for Ellie and Joel. They don't care about Druckmann either.elliespuns answers

[ryoshudoodles]

The Plushū Diaries

This is a long post about the plushie I made as a beginner and just me venting about the process. Just skip this is you don't like long posts. Also I will probably mix up UK and US English a lot here. The usual Internet learning experience.

Canto 1- I can (not) make a plushie myself

So... As you may gather from the existence of this blog, I love Ryōshū a very normal amount. And like many other PM fans, I wanted a plushie of my best girl.

Two problems arise.

Independently made plushies made by commission are EXPENSIVE (For a very valid reason, this things take AGES to make and require a lot of work and skill.).

And

All the "Mass" produced ones by indie designers that I saw had animal ears or features, which I don't really like.

So, Sunday at around 10:00 pm, I, in all my wisdom, say to myself "I want it! So I'll make it!" I already had some material from a previous failed attempt, so might as well use them.

I dug up the doll skeleton and the body I had and stuffed that thing. By then it was already late and I had to work on Monday so, to bed I went.

Canto 2- The Real Start

By morning on the following day, I had already gotten over the Idea of making a plushie myself. Too much work. Too little skill. Like any other good little ADHD demon, I am allergic to completing my own projects and I jump from new idea to new idea too quickly to get anything done.

So, imagine my shock when at 11:00 pm I get that little itch to just make the thing. That little night owl brain magic that happens when everyone else is asleep and you are just now deciding to be productive.

So I grab the body, my embroidery thread and a bathtub of coffee and I just started.

Luckily I already had a pattern that a friend printed out for me two years ago. But then, the mistakes also started.

Mistake 1- Improv

I had no idea what I wanted to make. I had a design that I had painted In photoshop before but I didn't have that materials nor skills for that. So I made a simpler one on the spot. I don't own a printer. I don't have transfer paper. So... like a person with a very aesthetically pleasing smooth brain, I just drew the design STRAIGHT ON THE FABRIC with BRIGHT red pen.

Mistake 2 - The bright red pen

At the start it wasn't much of an issue just something to mark the design because I don't have a tearaway stabilizer.

By the end of this saga, those smooth clear lines had bled SO MUCH I could no longer tell the difference between te guide and random stains. Oh! And you can also see the guidelines from the outside of the doll. Cool.

Mistake, the third - The felt hair

This doesn't seem like a mistake, but trust me, It will haunt the narrative.

Mistake forever after - Hubris

It took... around 1 hour to line up everything correctly on the embroidery ring? Why? Because I am stupid, that's why.

During this first day I decided that I didn't need to use pins. I could just put it on the ring by eyeballing it. How bad can it be?

I was a fool. There's a reason why professionals use them, and there's a reason why some people sew some pieces temporarily during certain steps of the process before finally attaching them together. Pins truly are unsung heroes.

Canto 3- The unembroidered

So... embroidery. Embroidery is hard. Symmetrical embroidery is hard. Symmetrical embroidery with bleeding guidelines and no stabilizer is HARD. Symmetrical embroidery with bleeding guidelines, no stabilizer and you are a total beginner is maddening.

I watched someone do it by hand on YouTube before and I tried to mimic the process as much as I could. It didn't help much. Youtube tutorials can only do so much to compensate my lack of experience.

By the time I had done one eye I was already seeing problems. My stitches were all scattered to the four winds. They were all going in different directions. Some of them were too far apart or too close to others. The lines in the back of the doll were piling up and there were more knots in the thread than in your average omegaverse fic.

I went colour by colour. First black since I needed it to line the hair and it was the most used colour, then white just for the little highlights and finally red.

(Funny thing, the number of this red thread of this brand is 666 wich is kinda funny for miss hellscreen over here.)

After the red thread it finally started to look kinda decent (by beginner standards)

Canto 4 - Revenge of the felt hair

After all the embroidery was done it was finally time to get her off the ring and sew the parts together.

For those unaware, the regular soft plushie material, Minky, is really lightweight and very thin. Felt... isn't thin. And when you are sewing a plushie head with may parts and layers, all those millimeters of fabric pile up really quickly. One layer of felt is easy to pierce with a needle. Five layers? Not so much. Several needles were broken in the process of joining the front of the head with the back. I do not own a sewing machine. I did all of this shit by hand.

Thank god for the tetanus vaccine. When I say this little creature has my blood, sweat and tears, I MEAN IT.

The curse of the felt hair didn't end there.

Now that the head was done, it was time to stuff it.

Naturally, I had to rip parts of the stuffing to get it inside the head and around the skeleton. This sent bits and pieces of the thing flying everywhere. My room is FILTHY. And the felt hair got the worst of it. All those little dusts and microfibers stuck to it like a fly in a web. As I write this I am still trying to rip out bits of stuffing without damaging the felt. It is horrible. My girl is DIRTY.

(Also, plushie heads take WAY more stuffing than I thought. Holy shit.)

Finally, on the last day, it was time to attach the body to the head and sew the back of the hair. (I should have done that before but... more layers of felt. Broken needles. You know... nheeeeeee)

So, with a lot of fear in my heart I ladder stitched those bastards together and mocked up a decent enough pattern for the back of the hair. And just like that.... she is done.

Canto 5- The Plushie Defining

So... what did I learn?

Use pins. Stitch things temporarily with an obvious visible line that you can cut out after and test things before committing to a permanent stitch. If you are a beginner, like me, and are afraid to sew pieces together because you don't want to ruin your embroidered parts that you spent SO LONG working on, do this before.

Fuck felt.

Don't use a bright red pen.

Mess up. Make your plushie. Make it ugly. If you hate making bodies like me, buy one made and practice the head. Despite everything, I love my asymmetrical girl a lot. Like... I made this little bastard. She is MINE and I made her. This never stops being magical. It's a nice feeling.

And I did it without specific materials.

Some cheap threads, a body you can probably make too, some felt I found at the discount bin and random needles. That was all. No tearaway stabilizer, no sewing machine, no printer, no embroidery machine. The minky fabric is the only thing that was more of an investment. The rest is pretty accessible.

Do you know that post that says "Everything worth doing is worth doing poorly." Yeah, that applies to artistic projects. Go for it! Just... don't start with something hard like a human... Christ sake that was a nightmare.

I'm probably still gonna get a better plushie of her in the future, but for now, this is my baby.

Goodnight Tri-state area.

[chaifootsteps]

Hi, hi! I've been a longtime follower of your blog, but this is my first time sending in an ask because of anxiety. You're the most consistent blog that keeps up to date with Viv and her work. As someone who first saw Viv through the Die Young animation, and watched the HH pilot when it was first released, I grew disillusioned as s1 of Helluva Boss slowly aired. It was mostly because I didn't really enjoy the Stolitz ship and I believe the Erin Frost drama had come out (god bless Erin - she, Ken and everyone else deserved so much better). Plus the world-building and character development was just so off.

I know people have said this before: the concept Viv has is good, but the execution sucks. There's a vision but the product is so damn juvenile. I'm ace, and I became attached to Alastor due to him being ace as well, but we all know how Viv responded when the ship wars were happening. I couldn't stand the constant sex jokes or swearing in HB since when was it required for an "adult" show to have that?

Thank you for the episode leaks. Only got to see ep 1 before they were removed. The only thing that made me laugh out loud was the Niffty gag where she stared dead into the camera. I also liked Adam a bit? Sure the "original dick" thing went on way too long, but he was funny too. I surprising enjoyed his song - the lil fist bump he did with Lute was cute, and I like Lute but knowing Viv's record... eh. There was this cool shot where Adam flew up and Lute and those golden angels go behind him and spread their wings making Adam look like the biblically accurate angel. Except Adam himself ruins the effect because what the ever-loving heck is he wearing? I hate it.

In terms of shipping, I wasn't into the Huskerdust interactions. Angel wasn't flirting, that was sexual harassment. In the pilot it was okay because their interaction was brief and Husk pushed Angel off. Chaggie was... something. I genuinely feel that Chaggie could've worked had they not been established as a couple in the first place. The reason why Charlastor (and I guess Charlentious?) happened is because they had chemistry and their interactions could be read as a romantic interest. Since Chaggie was already established, there was an expectation for them to have those, but they weren't delivered and we know well that they weren't supposed to be a thing in the first place. Have Vaggie still be her bff and bodyguard, but show those moments where she genuinely cares for Charlie's well-being that indicates she's in love with her, yet Charlie is completely oblivious to everything. Actually, reverse harem Charlie sounds pretty funny to me.

Btw, armchair psychology anon, as a person studying psychology in my final year of college, dw about people taking issues with your speculations. NPD and other personality disorders are ego-syntonic, which means that the individual's behaviours line up with their beliefs, hence why PDs are only diagnosed during adulthood once brain maturation and personality development is reached. The only exception to this is ASPD (which NPD shares a category with called Cluster B along with histrionic and BPD) as you can diagnose a child with conduct disorder that can become ASPD when they're adults. Cluster B PDs are terribly demonised by media and the public despite the volume of research (I blame misunderstanding and ignorance). Viv could have it or could not; it's just that she shows signs of having it, and that's it. Even if she doesn't, she's still an awful person. Idk what happened in her childhood or some point in her life for her to become like this, but it doesn't excuse treating people like crap - oh wait, ain't this her characters in a nutshell?

That's all I gotta say for now. I hope it's okay to send more like this in the future; I'd love to be a specific anon but idk what's already taken lol. Take care, Chai, and I hope you have a good day/evening.

By all means, send as many as you've got! Because this was a delight to read.

Let me know when you come up with a name. I'll give you a placeholder one for now.

[respondedinkind]

Okay, okay, so... the new year isn't here yet, but 2023 is coming to an end very soon and I have planned to make a post - so here it is.

What this post is about? You!

I just want to be here and say thank you to everyone who has joined me here on my blog, even though I haven't been around for long. I am insanely grateful for each and every single one of you being here, for all the good memories you allowed me to make, and that so many of you welcomed me - and my muse - with open arms. I am so happy that you gave - and still give - me opportunities to explore my own writing and my muse's behaviors, and I just cannot stop saying it enough: THANK YOU!

I met some incredible people over the last months - some of which are people that I have RPed with before and where I was oh-so-excited to have them met again, after all these years of me having been separated from my Khan-muse because of fandom-changes, interest-changes, whatnot; For those of you who don't know, I first started to write Khan in 2012, BEFORE Star Trek into Darkness even aired, solely based on speculations and a teaser trailer lol. It wasn't very serious, but then definitely developed into what is my most-written muse after the movie finally came out and Khan just invaded my brain like some kind of parasite.

Since then, I have made a few blogs, kept writing Khan for a couple of years, then went on hiatus - remade, revamped, wrote for a few more years, disappeared... and now here I am again, with an AU-Version I was very, very scared to just put out here but now I am so, so glad I did. Thank you all for allowing me to write it, and yeah, I'm repeating myself, but... the opportunies I got and still get? So wonderful. Thank you so much for giving my Khan a chance.

Besides that, I also expanded my horizon a little and made two more blogs: One is on a little hiatus right now, while I am very active on the other thanks to some wonderful human beings who basically set my love for that character into flames. I hope that, and I mean that with the utmost sincerety, my choice of 'second and especially third muse' is not taken as a will to replace anything or anyone, but rather me being so immensely starstruck by other writers that have given me such a great insight and made me want to explore the depths as well.

Okay, okay, this is already insanely long and I am so sorry (I am unsure if anyone will ever read this lol), but now I want to give a shout out to ALL OF YOU, who are here, writing with me! All of you are so, so amazing and I am so glad to have met you, and I hope we can continue to write for as long as our muses and our creativity will let us. Thank you, again, and please take a look at those awesome people in case you aren't already following each other:

First of all, amazing writers and amazing people in general that I look up to (in no particular order), who are inspiring me in so many ways, make me feel a bit like a teenager gazing at their favorite star (lol) and just... are great people, yes, that I just want to mention separately for varying reasons:

@ssolessurvivor (Friend! Omg! When you first followed me, I could never imagine how things would ever develop - and how well Logan would fit to Khan, how their story developed into what it is now, so deeply plotted and filled with so many sub-stories and little moments that push both our muses along, allow me to explore my Khan on so many levels... it's insane how attached he is to your Logan, and I am so, so happy about us being in so much contact and just keep plotting and talk about everything! You are such a friendly mun and I am so, so grateful that you indulge me, even over on Stephen (hehe). I hope we can keep writing for a long time; Thank you so much for letting me throw in all my ideas about Khan, all the quirky things about him, I am so, so grateful!!! ♥)

@darehearts (I felt insanely welcomed by you, giving my Khan *and* my Bones such a chance to interact with Kirk ♥ Thank you so much for that, and thank you so much for indulding in my Khan-joins-the-crew idea as a Kirk-writer. That's definitely not something you need to do and yet you allow me. Ahhh! I was so blown away when you asked me if I wanted to become mains sdfasadfasd. Still am honestly because I am just a potato haha. Thank you for being here and being such a kind person ♥)

@strxngetimes (seriously, I was so nervous approaching you first but I am so glad I did; I do look up to you like you're some kind of superstar (haha) and I am still amazed that you gave me the chance of exploring things the way we do. Thank you for indulging me AND enduring me (and my muse lol), and you really, really inspire me in so many ways when it comes to your Stephen, it's amazing. You actually caused my interest for him to go back up into flames and for me to join the MCU fandom lol (and I would also bother you on your tony BUT i am SO UNWORTHY hahaha). Thank you - I hope we can keep writing for a while longer ♥ And I look forward to everything that might further develop between Khan and Stephen. Very much <3 Love them a lot!)

@mehrere-musen (Ok but really, of course I have to mention you. The way you accepted me, the way we started to write and things just??? Happened??? I love interacting with you and your Stephen and I love the way he works with Khan too, and I am so happy that you allowed me to be with the two where they are. Our thread has almost 800 notes by now which is insane, and with how we keep having ideas, it might go further than that lol. Thank you so much for indulging me - and thank you to Stephen to make Khan so insanely happy. :) ! I hope we can continue to write for a long time! ♥)

@fasciinating (SPAWK! I know we don't do a lot of OOC chatting in any way but our thread??? You are so good for just throwing us into that mess and for you to be like 'lmao ok here let Khan do whatever' and where are Spock and Khan now??? A NIGHTMARE LOL. I love the creativity and how you maneuvered us into that mess of a situation and how we can just seriously fuck moments up and go 'ah yeah somehow there's a rabbit also the world explodes'. I also love the way you write Spock! Thank you so much for giving my Khan a chance, despite his 'AU-ness', and that I get to explore such an interesting storyline! I was also very happy to have found you again, because I remember you from a long time ago (even though we didn't write much back then I think? But I remembered your name!)).

@sxbaist (MY BELOVED! God, you have no idea how insanely happy I was when I realized you were still there. Vega has stolen Khan's heart back when we first wrote so many years ago and when I rebooted him with his AU Version, my heart almost stopped when I saw you were still active and around. I was so, so nervous to approach you - but you welcomed me back, so did Vega welcome back my Khan, and honestly... I love them so, so much, and I adore you so much as a person. Thank you for doing all of that, for allowing me back, for Khan to have his wonderful woman back and for them to enjoy each other. It feels like as if they never got separated at all and I cannot express my gratitude enough, really. You as a person are so awesome as well and I will forever wait for your return! You are also the only other Khan I write with, so I will mention your @paramounticebound here too because your Khan is insanely great and I look up to him so, so much, people need to know!!!)

@vuulpecula (OK but listen, I know we also don't do much OOC chatting at all BUT!!! I just have to mention you here too because the things we do are just so??? SO??? HNNG like lmao we just write each other like 'ok what should happen' AND THEN DOOM HAPPENS to either Khan / Fox and Stephen / Fox LOL as if we got no chill really! I enjoy it a lot to explore those plots and see where things will go! Also you are such a kind person and so easy to talk to!!! Thank you for also indulging me on Stephen hehe ♥ and also all the things on Khan ofc!)

If I could, I would write every single one of you such a text, but alas... if I were to, I wouldn't be finished in 2025 (lol), so I hope you take my gratitude and my love for you as a combined package as well; You are all wonderful people and I am so glad to have you here, and it has been a joy - I hope it will continue to be a joy in the future too, and I cannot wait to see how things will develop (once again, in no particular order):

@whydotheykeeptakingmine ♥ @noblehcart ♥ @resignedworkaholics ♥ (also over on Stephen) @he1msman | @spacesk1pper | @entrpz ♥ (also on Bones) @ensnchekov | @cosmiicheskaya ♥ (also on Bones) @vulku ♥ @onlybonesleft ♥ @wtsns | @agntross ♥ (also over on Stephen) @goodheartedfool ♥ @oceansfirst ♥ (also over on Stephen) @kingofthewebxxx ♥ (also over on Stephen) @fallenregent ♥ @danversiism ♥ @nursc ♥ (also over at Bones) @nightmdic ♥ @brooklynislandgirl ♥ @defectivexfragmented ♥ (also over on Stephen) @haiiling ♥ @gcldenratio ♥ @hiippocrates ♥ @tangleweave ♥ (In case I have forgotten someone: I am so, so, so, so, sorry!!!!)

Also, last but not least: Should you not be named on this list, this does not mean I am not grateful for you or don't appreciate you! I thank you for being here, especially if we have already written something... and even if you follow me and I do not follow back, I am still immensely grateful that you're here in the first place, even if you might not stay ♥.

Thank you so much for every single one of you, really - everyone I mentioned here, everyone I did not. Because of YOU my experience on this (and my two other blogs) is what it is. Without you I wouldn't be where I am now, I wouldn't be able to explore my Khan, my Bones, my Stephen, and I wouldn't be able to have such a good time.

I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST FOR 2024 - MAY GOOD LUCK, LOTS OF LOVE, HAPPINESS AND FORTUNE COME YOUR WAY! No matter where you are, or what your plans are... you are valid, you deserve to be here, you deserve to do what you want to do and you deserve all the good things coming for you.

THANK YOU.

L. finally over and out. (and if you read up this far, you'll get a cookie from me!)