#amd so tired

[doumadono]

ANNOUNCEMENT

This is a turning point for me. I've been silent for too long, but I can't stay quiet anymore.

I'm going through writer's burnout, and it has hit me hard. I've been writing on Tumblr and Ao3 for nearly eight years now (with about 1.5 years on my private blog, doumadono). Over that time, I've written more than 400 stories across various fandoms, created the Sinful Sunday event and a series that many people like, helped many with numerous emergency requests — so many that one masterlist wasn't enough to cover them all.

But all of this has brought me to a place where writing no longer feels like a joy, but rather a duty. In my effort to make everyone happy, I lost myself and took on too much, accepting even the most twisted and difficult requests. It made me anxious and unwell whenever I thought about writing. This is why I haven't been posting much these past few weeks. I missed the breaking point and let myself reach a place where I was seriously considering quitting writing altogether and closing both my Tumblr and Ao3 accounts.

There's something else I need to address. I feel completely detached from Jujutsu Kaisen and Demon Slayer. I no longer feel comfortable writing for those fandoms. From now on, I'll be focusing mostly on My Hero Academia. Even though the manga recently ended, both the manga and the anime hold a special place in my heart. I’ve fallen in love with the story and its amazing characters. This is what feels right to me at this moment. That doesn't mean I'll never write for Demon Slayer or other fandoms again, but not now, not at this time. Maybe in the future — who knows?

Some of you might know that I've been dealing with a flood of hateful anonymous messages. Even though I’ve grown stronger and no longer consider them relevant, it still hurts to read such nasty words. This is another factor why I need to take a break.

So, what's going to change?

Sinful Sunday will no longer cover requests, and the event won't be as regular as it used to be. From now on, I'll post some sinful pieces specifically written for this event whenever I feel it's right. I'll write only for the characters I feel attached too.

Emergency requests will be limited to two slots and will no longer have a 48-hour window to be fulfilled. Once both slots are taken, emergency requests will be closed until I manage to clear the current asks in my inbox.

As of today, my ask box has been completely cleared. I won't be replying to any past asks, regardless of their origin or topic.

Commissions will remain open, as nearly all the requests have been fulfilled.

Regarding the following projects:

The Kvitravn series will be completed this year, but I can't provide a specific date just yet as I'm still working hard to bring everything together.

There's also a new series on the horizon featuring Dabi in the lead role, with a psychiatrist!Reader as the other main character.

As for Kinktober, I made a hard decision it will not be held as an event on my blog this year at all.

As of now, I want to focus on my own little My Hero Academia based AU that I created with my best friend @crystalwolfblog , and this is something that brings me a lot of comfort nowadays, and it's what I want to focus on. I’ll likely create another blog to post everything related to this AU, to keep things organized (the blog will be linked to my pinned post). This little AU was and is my safe haven for the past year and half, and since it contains all of my favourite characters, I want to focus on it fully.

The time for purification has come. I need to rediscover my purpose and find joy in writing again. To those who understand and have stuck with me since the ThePaperPanda days — you’re amazing and adorable, and I can never express how much I appreciate you, guys 💞

I want to share one last thought. This isn’t a statement, but rather a plea to readers: please respect writers, no matter the content they choose to explore. Writing is not as easy as it may seem; it requires a significant amount of time and effort, often taking up our personal time to craft a story. Don't send anon hate. Spread love instead! The least you can do to show your appreciation is to leave a comment, even if it’s just a word or two. For you, it’s a small gesture that takes less than a minute, but for the writer on the other side, it may be a much-needed sign that their work is meaningful. So if you enjoy an author’s work, don’t hesitate to leave a comment. It truly makes us writers feel like we’re on cloud nine.

Love you all, Marcianna

[uncanny-tranny]

The whole "breasts shouldn't be politicized because the primary purpose of breasts is to feed babies!" can be a fine jumping-off point, but I really wish people thought deeper than that when we talk about the ways in which bodies are politicized and restricted.

Like, why's it that when we talk about breasts, they must have some Higher Purpose? It's true that breasts aren't inherently sexual, but they aren't valuable solely because they can potentially feed a baby. A human body doesn't have to serve a Higher Purpose in order for it to not be legislated against or policed, and I just wish people would remember it isn't always about babies, about other people, about anything else other than the people who have that body.

[screwpinecaprice]

They won the lottery and inspired by Mr. Greg, they spent it all in one day by committing identity fraud.

Idk I took a second job and my brain is so fried right now. 😭

[fandomrose]

Sunday - Love Hypnosis

Sunday hypnotises you (consensually) to relax you.

No spoilers.

No description of reader or readers troubles so project what you are personally struggling with as you see fit.

No angst just fluff. I thought this concept would be cute. I've seen many a yandere Sunday hypnotises you, and that's great but consider - consent and fluff.

(This isn't a jab, I too enjoy a yandere fic from time to time but I also want to see fluff and I haven't seen this done in a fluffy way yet.)

I don't know why I'm mildly obsessed with this man but I am. (Cough Cough, I read maximum ride as a kid and now I automatically fall in love with winged characters. Cough Cough.) I need him to hypnotise me please and thank you.

(I have a few fics in the works that I need to finish but I'm struggling.)

As usual enjoy. Love ya 💙

"Darling?" Came the light and airy tone of your beloved. Though there was a hint of worry in his voice as he took in your face down, slumped form. "Are you alright?"

He could tell very well that you were not alright. But he would coax an answer out of you one way or another. Though the only answer he received was a groan.

"Darling." He sighs but chuckles at your obviously aggravated self. "Allow me to help you." 

Your body goes limp as you let him move you from a sofa to your shared bed. "My darling. Tell me what's gotten into you."

He chuckles as you groan out a single word relating to your issues. "Life."

"Oh, my darling. You'll let me soothe you for the night won't you?" He only felt it was right after the many nights you had soothed him. 

Patient, kind, understanding. Three words that when asked by others what you think about each other, you'd both say about each other. A pure give and take without a scoreboard, that's how you operated. You were both busy or stressed for one reason or another so that's how things had to be.

The simple love you shared was enough most days but sometimes things went wrong.

Sunday had performed hypnosis on you before so he knew it worked but he'd never engage unless you agreed. You knew the question he asked meant he wanted to soothe you via hypnosis, and with the state of your mind you would happily agree. 

"Please do." 

He wouldn't offer if he didn't have the energy you knew this, a rather large argument took care of that when he'd overworked himself then passed out after hypnotising you once and a medic had to be rushed in. Needless to say, you weren't happy with his carelessness. And seeing how upset you were he agreed to be more careful with his health.

You didn't want to think anymore so as you lay there looking up at him with your tired eyes and weary mind, he smiles. He caresses your face and hair before taking a deep breath and reciting that familiar chant.

"Oh triple faced soul, allow me to take hold of this one's mind and soothe them of all worries and burdens. The word Beloved will be the catalyst for control."

With that simple incantation your mind belonged to Sunday for a short while. Your mind felt fuzzy and slow but not unpleasantly, the way it would when you achieved complete relaxation. 

Like he had done before, he would take you through your nightly routine with this hypnosis.

"Beloved, follow me to to the bathroom." He helped you up while your body automatically followed his words and stood up. 

Walking was about the most complex task you could complete, he wasn't Xipe Themself, so his power only went so far. 

"Beloved, lift your arms." 

You do as told and he aids in stripping you, ready to be cleaned. 

"Beloved, sit on this stool and close your eyes." 

You again do as told his voice muffled through the layers of hypnosis, but soothing nonetheless. "I am going to wash your face first darling." He always narrates what he does before doing it as not to startle you.

You felt a cool, wet, cloth glide over your face and you can't help but sigh with satisfaction. You feel it gently caress your cheeks and softly rub your eyes tickle behind your ears. You hear the cloth being rinsed and wrung, the muffled sounds of the water soothing you further.

"I am going to wash your upper body now darling." And, as before, you feel the damp cloth glide over your neck and upper body, letting him move you has he sees fit. Soft humming coming from him lulls you deeper into his hypnosis. The cloth glides down and caresses your chest before moving to wash your back. You'd make sounds of relaxed satisfaction if you could but your exhausted body coupled with the hypnosis has made your brain devoid of any thought or control. Just how you want it. 

He moves back to the front of you with a new cloth. "Beloved, spread your legs, I need to clean you." 

Your body complies without hesitation and that's what he does, making sure to be extra gentle around this sensitive area. He is thorough but doesn't linger long this time, not wanting to spark anything in you this evening.

Standing to switch the cloth again, "I'm going to wash your legs and feet now darling." Still being as gentle as ever his hands and the cloth slowly makes their way down your legs massaging them as they go. A light massage is given to your feet as well before he finishes and pats you dry with a towel before he deems your body clean.

"Beloved, open your mouth wide." 

He orders next, your mind too fuzzy to think of what else could be doing. You hear more water then feel a hand on your chin. "I'm going to brush your teeth darling." Then light scrubbing of your teeth and tongue can be felt, he is thorough with this area too. Not wanting to be the reason you have cavities he takes his time. Not too long later he finishes with you. You can hear things being put away and muffled sounds of him walking around you, maybe inspecting you. Before he stops in front and, 

"Beloved, open your eyes and stand up. Its time to go to bed."

You're led back into the bedroom now that he is satisfied that you are clean. "Beloved, are you ready to sleep?" 

Compelled to answer, you do. "yes"

"Beloved, do you want to sleep with me?"

"Yes"

"Good, let's get to sleep then shall we." 

The sounds of fabric and draws is all you hear for a moment before he guides you into bed with him. 

"Beloved, lay down." 

When he's satisfied you are comfortable You feel his soft skin against yours, the wings on his head lightly brushing your face in reverence before he pulls them back. It isn't often he blesses you with his naked body, the vulnerability gets to him at times. 

Once you've laid down and he's pulled you close he asked one more question.

"Beloved, are you ready to be released from hypnosis?"

"Yes"

As the words leave your lips he begins the incantation to remove his influence on your mind. 

"Oh triple faced soul, this one has completed this ones tasks and can now be freed from the shackles of my control with no burden."

Everything goes still as your senses return slowly, reacclimating you to reality. A few minutes pass of him softly stroking your head and neck while you come back to him.

"Thank you Sunday" a soft whisper conveying how grateful you are before you promptly pass out the exhaustion and relaxation hitting you full force as you melt into the bed and his arms.

"Oh my beloved, I'd do anything to see you happy and relaxed like this more often. I am grateful for all you do for me so it's only natural. I love you, so much my beloved."

He whispers to your sleeping self, pressing small kisses to your forehead, cheeks and nose. Watching the small twitches at the contact makes his evening and he feels like he too can finally relax.

[pusangkambing]

Common Miconceptions about qJaiden!

She likes or is proFederation! False!

-She is not fond of the federation at all and the only ones she truly cares about from them are the Cucurucho's, the ones she spent 2 weeks with in isolation, which obviously has problems of its own. She has stated and told people multiple times that only cucurcucho matters to her and not the federation as a whole.

If it doesnt matter to a character in the server or to you as a viewer and you align cucurucho the same as the federation, thats completely fair, but its important to include that distinction when talking about qjaiden's character as the difference is important to her and her perception.

She was raised/an experiment by the Federation/Cucurucho! Uncomfirmed!

-it has not been stated anywhere the true nature between qjaiden and cucurucho's/the Federation's past. All we know is that qJaiden "helped" the federation/cucurucho in some way and they need her help again. It is not canon that Cucurucho was ever her father figure nor that Jaiden is somehow a mother figure/caretaker of them.

qJaiden is naive! False!

-Jaiden is fully aware of cucurucho's wrong doings and is not naive about the fact that they may be manipulating her. Although she IS attached to them, remember that the whole reason she started working with the Federation is for the gauranteed safety of the eggs, which they failed to do. She is not ignorant of this fact btw, she's aware that they failed to keep their end of the bargain but she's also aware that she's gotten far with her relationship with the Cucurucho's and consequently the Federation, which she believes may be used to her advantage. She's also not always agreeing or in line with what Cucurucho does, as seen when she found out about the Happy Pills and Forever being drugged, which ended with her waiting for hours to confront Cucurucho in anger but spiraled to somewhat of a breakdown as she becomes scared and nervous and tells herself that she cannot mess up their relationship now as she has gotten so far. QJaiden is fully aware and understands the drastic consequences that her actions may take, she is not naive or ignorant.

Impromptu list because reasons. If im wrong about anything or if you want to add something then tell me!

[knowledge-paradox]

more third life desertduo fully for self indulgence

[kitamars]

a doodle that turned into something or the other

[tuliptiger]

I am sick to death of made up and worthless expectations from society and work. Im sickkkkk of it.

[rickybutlersays]

star trek stop forcing Christine upon Spock challenge (level impossible)

[yippie-madness]

i cant do all of this

[effervescentdragon]

hee hee. piarles + 15 🤭❤️

15. Con Artist and the person who saw through their grift.

'This is the last leg, focus, so all you need to do is-'

"Shut the fuck up," Charles hisses at Lando through his teeth. "I can't be seen talking to myself, and I can't focus with you talking into my - hello, Pierre," he says with a wide smile. He can feel sweat gathering on his forehead, but he refuses to acknowledge it in any way. He's trained himself out of those ticks a long time ago, and the harsh lights and his three-piece ridiculous suit are enough to justify the sweat.

"Hello, cher," Pierre says. He looks lovely, handsome and hot in his tuxedo under the casino lights, like a movie star from those old movies his maman likes to watch. "You look dashing," Pierre continues, and Charles hates the fact that his blush is real and not a ruse. He thanks all the gods no one on his team can see him, because he's sure they'd all know.

"Thank you, Pierre," Charles replies. "Do you want a drink?" He leans back on the bar and gives Pierre his honest, shy smile just as Lando says 'He's so fucking gone on you, it's hillarious'.

Charles is going to punch Lando as soon as the job is done. He sips his martini so as not to grit his teeth. Pierre steps closer to him and Charles can feel the heat of his body as he leans half over Charles to signal the bartender for a drink.

"Of course, Renard," Pierre says. "Do you want a refil?"

Charles does his best not to flinch as he shakes his head. Every time Pierre uses Charles' fake name, Charles wants to scream. It wasn't supposed to be like this. None of this was supposed to be like this.

"Suit yourself," Pierre says. His knuckles brush over Charles' hand and Charles supresses - everything. He's a professional. He can get through this without getting attached.

Liar, he thinks. You stupid, pathetic liar. Get yourself together. Pierre isn't the first pretty mark you've worked with.

He is the first and only one that seems to genuinely care, though, a traitorous thought escapes him. He squashes it with a big sip of his martini.

'I think Ricciardo is on his way,' Lando says. 'Seb will be with you in some ten minutes, and then-'

"My boss is on his way," Pierre says. He's close enough to touch Charles and with the way Charles is leaning against the bar, he's forced to look up at Pierre. "So the contract should be signed very soon."

"Good." Charles makes himself smile. "My boss is on his way too." He raises his glass. "I'll just be glad when it's over."

Pierre taps on his glass. "Hmm," he hums. "Yes, I suppose you will." He clinks his glass to Charles'. "You will be going as soon as we're done?"

Charles swallows around the lump in his throat. "Yes," he says. "I need to oversee the development of the compounds we are building and prepare everything for when Mr. Ricciardo comes for the tour."

Pierre hums again. "Yes, indeed." He looks at Charles, and Charles doesn't know how to interpret that look. It's intense, and it feels like Pierre is searching for something in Charles' face.

Except, you're not Charles, he thinks. You're Renard Deveraux, head architect for the seemingly sustainable water filtering factories in India. You're honest, and outgoing, and you're about to seal the deal that will cost Daniel Ricciardo millions and set you up for the next year so you won't have to work. Seb won't call you last minute because he needs a grifter, and you won't have to work with Lando, and you'll never see Pierre again.

Fuck, Charles thinks just as Sebastian walks up to them with Daniel, both of them laughing. "Gentlemen," Seb says in an exaggerated German accent that isn't that far away from his own accent that comes out when he's roo tired to keep up his accent-less English. "Everything alright here?" His eyes flash in Charles' direction but Charles ignores him. He's fine. Everything's fine.

"Of course, Mr. Schmidt," Pierre says. His hand touches Charles' as he moves a bit. He doesn't move it away. It doesn't even occur to Charles to move at all.

"Please, Pierre, call me Johann," Sebastian says with a wide smile. Charles smiles at Daniel, because he's not Charles who is disgusted with the blatant, dark desire he sees in Ricciardo's eyes. He's Renard, who has been flirting with Daniel since they met. Renard, who allowed Daniel into his personal space and hooked him just enough to make the fake deal that Sebastian came up with for the con a certain success.

Pierre inclines his head. "Of course."

Daniel laughs that uncomfortably loud laugh of his. "Alright, alright, we're all friends here, yes? Now let's go sign the deal and then we can party. Right, Renard?"

Charles smiles and hopes it looks seductive enough. "Of course, Mr. Ricciardo," he chuckles. "But business first."

"Just the way I like it," Sebastian adds, and follows Ricciardo towards his office.

Charles is about to follow them, when Pierre grabs him by the arm. Charles tries to keep his breathing steady as Pierre speaks.

"Renard, I-"

Charles can't - he just can't. He steps closer, all the way into Pierre's space, and leans in.

"It's okay," he murmurs, forces himself to smile. "I'll see you in South Africa in a month, okay?"

Pierre looks at every inch of Charles's face, and Charles is in a full three-piece suit but he's never felt as naked as he does now.

"Yes," Pierre finally speaks slowly, meaningful in some way that evades Charles. "You will."

***

They sign the contract. Daniel transfers the millions into an offshore account Lando had set up. They drink a toast, and as soon as it's possible, Charles and Seb excuse themselves and reaffirm the plans of meeting Ricciardo and Pierre in a month. When they finally say goodbye, Charles forces himself not to look back, deapite being able to feel two pairs of eyes on him the whole time, only one of which didn't make him want to either throw up or take a long shower.

They take a cab to the airport together. When Sebastian opens his mouth in front of the terminal as they're smoking a cigarette, Charles shakes his head. "Don't," he asks. "Just... don't." He inhales deeply, the smoke burning his throat and making him dizzy. "Please, Seb. Just... not now."

Seb doesn't try to speak again. His eyes, when they look at Charles, are uncharacteristically sad. He throws away his cigarette, hugs Charles close for a moment, and leaves without another word.

There is nothing left to say. Charles knows who Seb is thinking of; which mark he's thinking of. Charles was there when they conned... well, no matter. It's history, just like this con will be history.

Just like Pierre will become history. Not the man who listened to Charles talk about architecture like it's the most interesting thing in the world when Charles let his guard down and forgot to be Renard. Not the man who told Charles about his own passion for clothes, and the man who shared Charles' interest in old cars and fast cars. Not the man who looked at Charles like he saw him, saw Charles under all the layers his character demanded. Pierre will not be that man; he'll be just another mark in a list of people that Charles conned out of their money and left behind.

Charles smokes three more cigarettes before he goes inside and buys a one way ticket to Panama under the name Peter Freeman. He vowes to punch Alex the next time he sees him for that little dig, then boards the plane and gets just drunk enough to sleep most of the way to Panama.

***

Panama is beautiful, and warm, and colourful, and Charles hates it.

It's been three weeks of sun and sea and alcohol and beautiful people that wanted Charles. The only problem was that the sun burned Charles' skin, and the sea made him feel sad, and the alcohol didn't tase good, and Charles didn't want all those people.

He was pining, and he was annoyed, and he was bored, and he didn't know what to do or how to get over it.

He's sitting at the beach bar, deciding if another cocktail is worth it, when someone sits on the stool next to him.

"This seat taken?"

Charles turns so quickly, he's pretty sure he pulls a muscle in his neck.

"I - what are you doing here?" is all he can say, because he hasn't been this surprised since that job in Azerbaijan ended up with him and Sebastian having to improvise their way out of a drug kingpin's villa. Maybe not even then. Seb always makes risky plans.

"It took me a while to find you," Pierre says. His sunglasses are perched on his head, and his shirt is unbottoned just enough for Charles to see tha cross glinting in the middle of his chest.

Charles swallows. "How?"

Pierre's eyes twinkle. "You know, before I worked for Ricciardo, I had another employer. Nico Rosberg?" he says, and Charles' eyes widen. "Yes, I thought so." He chuckles. "Anyways, long story short is - I quit my job before Ricciardo realised he signed over fifty million for compounds that don't exist, I called Nico, and then I got out of Italy. The worst part was tracking down Schmidt - I mean, Vettel," he said, and Charles was finding it pretty hard to breathe. "Convincing him to talk to me was even harder, but in the end I managed to convince him to give me your location."

"Seb didn't know -" Charles starts to say, then bites his lip at Pierre's chuckle. "Well. You found me."

"I did."

They stare at each other for a moment, and Charles is pretty sure that it isn't the heat making him uncomfortable. He clears his throat.

"So. What now?" he asks, because he doesn't know what to think, or what to feel. Pierre is standing in front of him, after tracking him down to Panama, and he looks like sin and he doesn't look like he's mad at Charles.

Pierre slides off his chair and steps closer into Charles' space. "Now, well. Everything I have planned requires your explicit consent, actually."

The way his eyes roam over Charles' skin is enough to light a fire inside Charles unlike any he's ever felt. He clears his throat again, then remembers something.

"I - I think I will consent to anything you want," he says, cheeks burning under Pierre's gaze. "But I think you should know, well, you probably guessed, but my name isn't Renard."

Pierre makes a final step and Charles can't move. "Oh, I know. I guessed that a long time ago, and I know you probably want to know everything, how and why and all that, but for now," he raises his hand and trails a finger down Charles' arm, leaving goosebumps on Charles' skin, "I think I'd like to do something I've wanted to do ever since I met you." Pierre raises his gaze to look straight into his eyes. "Charles."

Charles doesn't wait a moment more; he can't. He pushes forward and kisses Pierre with everything he's got, and when Pierre's arms wind around his waist, holding him up, he allowsh himself to smile into the kiss and then deepen it, like he's wanted to ever since he first saw Pierre.

They'll figure it out. Pierre is capable, and Charles... Charles is a grifter. He can figure out anything, and right now, he needs to figure out how to make Pierre make that sound again.

[wayfinderships]

Good afternoon gamers! Hope you're all doing well! As for me, I wanna design so badly but alas...😔 I lack the time

[moths-in-hats]

teen wolf x marvel: lydia martin as the hulk

For Lydia Week 2023: Day 3 - What-If Wednesday

[pomribs]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEAN DIAZ!!! ilysm u are everything to me loml i miss u sm come home to me thank u for being the Little Guy in my phone🐺🐺🐺 (complaining in the cut)

ive literally spent multiple days mulling over and trying to motivate myself to make this edit, im not an editor and have never made an edit before so ur not allowed to laugh, i dont usually do this but sean is just my special little guy.. the middle bit is so off beat its pissin me off so bad but atp im too sick of this too change it and its not even his birthday anymore in my timezone and URRGHHH WHATEVER!!!! i dont think the editing life is for me boys.... i may remake this one day if i Get Good at editing edits dont even do well on this godforsaken hellsite but im too embarrassed to post this anywhere else ANYWAYS if u like this ty k bye

[uncanny-tranny]

Parenting tip: if your kid seems absolutely miserable around you, yet you know they are not so around others, it might be time to look inward rather than blame them

[angstigone]

last may, I didn't get in a scholarship for a phd, and today I got into another one, life is funny (and good) sometimes.