#but the people who are meant to be her close friends?
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I CAN SEE YOU
track 02: make me
Given how much you loved making art, you could've held so much more exhibitions by now, if it weren't for the immense dread that comes with it. Not because of the exhaustion, but because of your own blood.
"Great! This is great!" Your father laughed, continuously patting your shoulders at the sheer delight of seeing the surges of people arriving at the gallery.
Funny, how they were very light pats yet never fail to weigh you down.
"Now you have to make better artworks so that the next exhibition could be better too!" He grinned. Still keeping you beside him, your father's eyes roamed around until he found a business friend of his. He gracefully nodded at the said friend's direction. In your family's dictionary, this gesture was meant to be an invite.
"Nice exhibition, [Name]." The stranger remarked as soon as he got near you and your father. "When's the next one?"
They both laughed.
And you found it sickening.
Was it really that funny to make light of your hard work and effort? Why are they talking about it as if it was easy to do? As if your paintings were mere commodities — machine-produced, basic, and standard.
Or maybe you were the problem. Maybe you were over-analyzing stuff and putting meaning into things that shouldn't and didn't have them in the first place. Maybe these two men were saying these things because they believe in you and your ability. Maybe it was a good thing.
Maybe you were in the wrong, thinking that they did not really appreciate what you just put out.
But was it really wrong to feel frustrated when people keep expecting more, when really, all you wanted at that moment was to take a break?
"Uhm —"
"You should start on the next one as soon as possible."
The additional statement of the stranger in front of you did nothing to quell your restlessness. One of your brows raised subtly without you noticing it.
"Actually, I plan to take a little break," you abruptly replied. You internally winced at how your voice sounded. The usual mask coating your words — the mask of softness and calmness — was absent. Instead, what seeped through was impudence.
And in the presence of your father, that was tantamount to committing a grave sin.
You fucked up.
The man in front of you just nodded and smiled awkwardly, bidding hurried yet still formal goodbyes to your father.
"[Name]!" Your father wasn't roaring, but there was an underlying threat to his deceivingly calm voice. There always was. "That is not how we talk to our business partners."
'Your business partner, father,' you thought.
"I apologize for my behavior earlier. I was merely exhausted."
He clicked his tongue. "A lifetime of learning etiquette and still making minor mistakes as a full-grown adult? How disappointing."
You remained silent.
"You better hope that disrespect you showed to him earlier wouldn't affect our long-term business relationship with them, unless you want to end up like your disappointment of a cousin."
He's talking about Eula.
Your elder cousin, who to you, was everything but a disappointment. How is it that they disapprove of her, when the only thing she has ever done was follow her dreams and speak for herself? How is it that they view her as a failure, when she was what you looked up to?
Perhaps, you might've even envied her. Her guts.
If you had them, you would have cut off the whole family a long time ago as well.
You took a deep breath, donning another calculated smile as you saw more people approaching.
I CAN SEE YOU — scara x reader smau
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do you have a post for wlw shows in specific? i dont mind just going through your main masterlist if not
as well, do you have any wlw shows w transfem leads? that one might be asking for too much, lol.
i don't have an asian wlw list yet, but i will make one here for you bun! i will only be including shows that pass my personal minimum standard for dramas. all shows are sorted in a recommended watching order
WLW
1. She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat neighbours; self-discovery; food; comfort watch
Nomoto loves to cook, but tends to make too much food and has no one to share it with. Luckily for her, turns out her neighbor Kasuga has a big enough appetite for the both of them.
No international streaming available, translated to english by Furritsubs, S1 & S2, watching instructions provided, consider supporting the translator on kofi.
2. The Loyal Pin period drama; princess/noble lady; childhood friends to lovers; forbidden romance
A love story set in 1950s Thailand, about naughty but charming Princess Anilaphat and prim but kind Lady Pin, who are close friends and have grown up together.
YouTube
3. Uranus2324 movie; sci-fi; astronaut/diver
Story of Lin, an astronaut who is about to embark in a remarkable space mission and Kath, a passionate free diver who is willing to defy the limits of time and space just to meet with her lover over and over again.
Netflix of South Asian countries (can be accessed with VPN)
4. Petrichor crime; investigation; cop/forensic doctor
Lieutenant Tul, a rookie officer and Dr Cherran, a physician from the Institute of Forensic Sciences, become reluctant partners.
iQIYI
5. 23.5 high school setting; secret admirer
Ongsa moves to a new school and meets Sun, a cute popular girl who she immediately falls for. However, she decides to approach Sun in instagram dms under the pseudonym Earth, leading Sun to believe she's talking to a guy. But Ongsa does not want to lose the opportunity to talk to Sun, so she decides to keep the fact that she is a girl a secret and continue talking as Earth.
YouTube
6. Ayaka Is In Love With Hiroko office setting; comedy; misunderstanding
Ayaka, a young office worker, is madly in love with her senior team leader, Hiroko. As Ayaka tries to make her attraction known, Hiroko consistently misreads the situation, thinking that Ayaka is a straight girl.
GagaOOLala
7. Soul Sisters period drama; wuxia; crossdressing; arranged marriage
Gu Jinyu has disguised herself as a man since childhood. While undercover, she is kidnapped by Bai Yunxi, the sweet but clumsy heiress, and forced into a marriage. The two form an unexpected partnership to save the failing stronghold, facing rival plots, enemies, and challenges.
iQIYI. *Because of chinese laws demanding censorship of queerness, the romance is censored and toned down to sapphic homoerotism for the show to be able to be broadcast. Nevertheless it's pretty obviously meant to be a romance.
8. Couple of Mirrors period drama; socialite/assassin
You Yi is a kind-hearted socialite and a successful author. Her perfect life is turned upside-down when she discovers a betrayal by the two most trusted people in her life. With no one left to turn to, she finds refuge in the friendship and support of Yan Wei, a lonely female killer disguised as the owner of a photo studio. YouTube. the show doesn’t have a happy ending, but it can be a happy ending for you if you stop watching at episode 12 timestamp 28:02. *Adapted from an explicitly queer novel, the show is undeniably and obviously queer, but nevertheless the queer romance part is censored.
9. Affair childhood friends to lovers; love triangle
A girl's life is upended by family bankruptcy. Her best friend becomes a source of comfort. They get separated, but years later they reunite, reigniting old memories and feelings amidst changed circumstances.
YouTube & iQIYI
10. Us love triangle
Dokrak crosses paths with an older dentistry student Pam during her coffee shop shift and gradually develops a crush. When her brother Kawi meets Pam, he falls for her at first sight. Kawi turns to Dokrak, asking her to play matchmaker and Dokrak agrees.
YouTube
11. The Secret of Us exes to lovers
Dr. Fahlada guards her heart due to a past love, rendering her unable to open up again. Her situation becomes complicated when she has to work with Earn, her ex girlfriend, who has come to work with her at the hospital.
Netflix & Ch3+
12. Pluto twins; blind character
Twins Ob-oom and Ai-oon are worlds apart until Ob-oom's wedding, when she tasks Ai-oon with breaking up her affair with May. A tragic turn leaves the newlywed comatose, and Ai-oon must carry out the request, only to find May is blind. And fall in love with her.
YouTube
13. Reverse 4 You superpowers
One sister foretells the future, and the other controls time. When a promised love seems doomed to tragedy, the pair sets out to change fate itself.
Netflix
14. She Makes My Heart Flutter bar setting; niece and aunt dynamic
The extroverted Gang Seol is hired by her aunt Jung at her only-women bar. Even though they are both lesbians, they seem to be worlds apart and have very different love stories.
YouTube
15. Sleep With Me radio; disabled character in a wheelchair
A science textbook writer with a sleep disorder meets a wheelchair-using radio host who runs the midnight shift. This chance encounter at the radio station quickly sparks their interest in each other.
GagaOOLala
16. GAP The Series office setting; boss/employee; class difference
Long after Sam first came to Mon's rescue when they were kids, Sam is unambiguously Mon's idol. In order to be near Sam, Mon gets a job working under her. When they finally meet again at the office, Mon is surprised by Sam’s icy exterior, so different from the image she'd had of her. Mon and Sam aren't just different in demeanour; they stand apart in class and age.
YouTube
17. Lucky My Love office setting
In the pursuit of love, Nabdao has been doing everything. She has got her fortune read. She's gone on a string of blind dates. Unfortunately, no one seems to be on the same page as her. She starts to think that perhaps her gorgeous and caring boss Pheem could be the one for her. Then Vela, her new team leader, comes into the picture and shakes things up with her observant and affectionate care.
YouTube
18. Show Me Love beauty pageants
Meena moves to Bangkok to achieve her singing dreams. She chances across Cherine who asks Meena to join her in a beauty pageant. The girls' journey for the crown begins and a romance between them sparks.
YouTube
19. My Marvellous Dream Is You magical dreams; actress/personal stylist
Dawan's father abandons their family to elope with a neighbor girl's father. Turns out this is Kimhan, who Dawan has been seeing in her strange yet lovely dreams for years. While they become friends in reality, Dawan hides her deeper feelings, as in her dreams their bond goes far beyond friendship. She never realizes that Kimhan shares the same dreams.
YouTube
20. Unlock Your Love
Rain locked up her heart after getting disappointed in her past relationship. However, things turn around when Love enters her life. They embark on a journey to “unlock their love.”
YouTube
21. Love Bully barwoman/heiress; obstacles
Irene and Night meet at the bar Night works in the night Irene returns from overseas, and hit it off instantly. However, their passionate relationship is threatened by meddling people who want to ruin it.
YouTube
Various chinese WLW mini web-dramas.
Various chinese WLW short films.
WLW as side couples:
1. Wedding Plan mlm wedding planner/groom; lavender marriage
Nuea is a professional wedding planner. Sailom happens to be the perfect man for Nuea based on his visual considerations for a man. But the universe has an unimaginable sense of humor as Sailom and his fiance Yiwa turn out to be Nuea's new clients.
Uncut 18+ on iQIYI or cut on Youtube & iQIYI (special episode), girls don't have high heat scenes here so you can just watch Youtube version for them
2. Love Sea mlm rich big city writer/countryside diver; class difference; wlw personal assistant/celebrity
Tongrak is a writer of popular romance novels. After travelling to countryside in search of inspiration, he chances to meet an irritating southern man Mahasamut. When they end up in bed together, however, Tongrak finds himself hooked. Tongrak has a secretary Mook and a popular actress best friend Vi. Vi enjoys ordering Mook around as if she was her own assistant.
Uncut 18+ on iQIYI or cut on Youtube
With smaller screentime there are wlw side couples in shows: Bad Buddy, I Feel You Linger In The Air (this one has period typical homophobia and assault though, so careful).
Bigger list of asian GL shows: link [tumblr post].
Transfeminine representation in asian QLs:
1. 23.5
Secondary couple are a pair of teachers, both of them trans women played by trans women. For now this is the only show that has a sapphic trans plotline, even though small.
YouTube
2. 3 Will Be Free polyamorous trio; on the run; mafia
After an unexpected event that involves sex work and mafia gangs, three individuals find themselves on-the-run together as they attempt to escape death. Important secondary character is a trans woman played by a trans female actress. Has a trans storyline in the show (the girl gets male romantic partners). Trigger warning for transphobia. YouTube
3. Secret Crush On You “nerd”/popular guy; queer friend group; university setting
A nerdy young man Toh fell in love with a popular third-year senior. Because his dream is so far from reach, observing is the only thing he could do. Toh has a queer friend group, one of them is a transfeminine/3rd gender/kathoey character Daisy. Can be a bit jarring for a western person at first, but her story is very lovely if you give this girl a chance (also gets male romantic partner).
YouTube
Noticeable small appearances of trans female characters: The Sign (the actress Yoshi was the 2019 winner of Thailand's biggest trans beauty pageant, YouTube), Not Me (YouTube), You're My Sky (Viki), KinnPorsche (iQIYI).
Sadly we aren't at a point where Thailand makes shows with trans people as leads yet, even though I so badly wish it was already a thing. But trans women and kathoey generally have supporting roles in BL and GL shows very often, so you can see them a lot in stuff! It's the transmascs who never ever appear here!
Queer shows directed by trans women and transfem people:
Anucha Boonyawatana is a trans woman and the director of Not Me, mlm show about anarchist freedom fighters (YouTube).
Golf Tanwarin is a nonbinary director and the first openly transgender person to have been elected as a member of parliament in Thailand. They were the one who submitted the thai marriage equality bill to parliament, which since then has been approved in 2024 and came in legal force 2 weeks ago. Their directing works: Love Bully (wlw, listed above), The Eclipse (mlm show about repressed boys in a corrupted school system, YouTube), Wandee Goodday (mlm boxer/doctor romcom, Viki).
Just in case, adding shows where I personally enjoyed headcanoning characters as transgirls or enby transfems sometimes:
1. Meet You At The Blossom
Romantic interest is wearing female clothes and makeup for disguise in the first episodes, and despite not passing well no one questions that this is a woman. The character is happily called "wife" by the lead character until the end of the show.
YouTube & GagaOOLala & Viki & iQIYI
2. The Sign
Main character used to be a female snake princess in his past reincarnation. Sometimes played by a female actress, sometimes by a male actor, but always referred to as a princess and wearing period thai female clothes. It's also possible to headcanon the character as a transmasc here though, it's really neat.
YouTube
Many of all these shows are free on YouTube, in other cases I recommend paying for subscriptions to show appreciation and support of content in order to get more of it in the future, but if you can't or don't want to, you can watch online on KissKH or get files from MkvDrama!
Blogs you can follow to get updates and posts specifically about asian GLs: @girlsloveupdates @glgifs
#asks#gl dramas#ql#sorry im sleep deprived so there might be mistakes but if anyone notices anything tell me i will fix them#also sorry bun i wanted to make gifs but my other project is so big it took the whole night and all past nights :( i tried picking the most#fitting posters but they still don't represent the essence of those shows that well
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hi hali i promised annotations and i am here to deliver. but FIRST OFF. short and sweet playlist that i curated for this fic:
fly as me - bruno mars, silk sonic wide open (foreword) - niki saturn - lyn lapid you weren’t meant to see that - the rare occasions get it - keshi tsunami - niki nocturne (interlude) - laufey take a bite - beabadoobee
this fic is genuinely my roman empire and i think of it so so so much. thank u for putting ur whole writer-ussy into this. okay here we go,, Be prepared for a lot of incoherent rambling, dumb annotations that make no sense, and screaming.
It’s a bit of an overreaction, especially for a team who just dispatched a Category Four kaiju. But it doesn’t matter. Xander isn’t Jihoon’s first co-pilot and he won’t be his last. They rarely last long, a cycle of Rangers who cannot stand to work with him for more than a few fights. Jihoon examines the scratches on his suit, thinking that he needs to get it buffed while the Marshall deliberates how to answer Xander’s demands.
⤷ this is so fucking hot of him. ok sorry
They do that a lot, so in sync that despite the fact that they’re two different people, sometimes Jihoon feels like he’s talking to one. Wylie is a little shorter than Chan, but just as furious in personality and attitude. She leans against Chan, cocking her head to the side. It’s not a conscious movement but an instinct, her body naturally attaching to her co-pilot’s. Jihoon knows that level of closeness well.
⤷ JM SO IN LOVE WITH CHAN AND WYLIE YOU WILL BE HESRING MORE ABT THEM FRKM ME!!! theyre sooo in tune w it h each other and just the JUXAPOSITION OF THEM WITH JIHOON WHO LITERALLY JUSTTTT LOST A COPILOT LITERALLY MAKES IT EVEN MORENPERFECT !!! i will take anyyy wylie and chan crumbs im so so so serious <3
He trails to the shower, tossing his clothes in the hamper as he does. Leaving the lights on so it’s only the dull orange glow over his bed, he turns on the shower as hot as it will go. It takes a second, but soon steam is filling the room, choking him as he slides under the stream of water, sighing as the heat of it burns away any lingering frustration for the day.
⤷ Oh my god idk i can literally VISUALIZE THIS SO WELL I CAN HEAR THE SPRAY OF THE SHOWER AND HIS HEAVING SIGH AND AND
“Ever heard of foreplay?” you grunt, helping Maya out of the giant mech behind you. She shoots you a thankful grin, taking off her helmet. Her face is flushed pink, hairline sweaty. “You really just dive in dry, huh?”
⤷ all i’m saying is that this is me. LMFOAODOEKSD
Storm Breaker. It’s a good name for a jaeger and it matches the profile. She’s built to withstand the brutal waves of the deep ocean and the onslaught of a high-category kaiju. Your interest is piqued, curious about Storm Breaker and her brutal pilot.
⤷ everyone stay calm. it’s happening. ITS HAPPENING
Somewhere behind him, Jihoon hears Minghao shriek. “She bit me!” Scratch that. Maybe Wylie does bite.
⤷ LMFAOOOOO I LOVE WYLIE i wanna be friends with wylie and chan so bad I LOVE THEEEMMMM
“My new drift partner,” Seokmin sighs dreamily. Soonyoung and Seungkwan smack him at the same time, offended. They’re one of the few triple pilot groups, operating a massive piece of machinery made for slaughtering and hammering down on high-grade kaiju. “What? Look at her!”
⤷ BOOSOOKSEON COPILOTS!!!! I KEEP FUCKING WINNING!!!!!!!!!!!!! god i can already imagine the chaos,,, i just LOVE how youve characterized them all <3
A collective hum goes through them. All of them recall that situation, but no one says a thing. The weight of Cherry’s absence sits heavy on them - even Jihoon misses her a little.
⤷ I LOVE WHEN FICS REFERENCE ESCH OTHER LIKE THIS IS LITERALLY SOOOOOOO GOOD UGGHHHH THE TIMELINES ADDING UP <33 i need to put the cherrybomb fic on my tbr!!!! bro im being so serious when i say ive never even consumed pacific rim AND YOU MAKE ME WANT TO CONSUME THE MEDIA PLSDLDFKGF
Lee Jihoon is prettier in person. You don’t know why it’s the first thing you notice as you watch him walk across the training center. He’s dressed in fitted cargo pants and a racing jacket over a t-shirt, emphasizing his broad shoulders. His hair is bleached and pinned into a low bun, some of his bangs hanging in his dark eyes. He doesn't notice you watching him as he nears an empty mat, shedding the jacket.
⤷ everyday i thank the universal super being that hali wrote long blonde haired jihoon. like r u kidding me. just look at this paragraph. everyone say thank you hali. thank you hali
“So are you my new co-pilot?” a soft voice startles you and you turn to see that Jihoon has snuck up on you. His eyes are darker in person, entirely consuming as he looks down at you with a cocked head. His blonde hair sticks to his forehead, pale skin covered in a sheen of sweat. “You must be, right?”
⤷ i like how this can be read as jihoon either being taller than reader OR him thinking better of himself than them, therefore “looking down” on them (shakes like a chihuahua) (i know its most likely the former but STILL i like it. i like how it can be read as physically or metaphorically.)
Your intuition tells you that you’re perfectly matched, fighting style so similar that it’s hard to get a hit in - you won’t get a hit in, too in sync with him to out maneuver him. So you deviate. Instead of dodging a smack to the ribs, you let him hit you. His surprise is so apparent that he breaks his concentration and you strike, foot sweeping behind his ankle and pulling, knocking him from his feet. Jihoon goes down hard, breath leaving his lungs as you pounce, pinning him.
⤷ ooohhh.... so reader is LIKE THAT!!! I CAN ALREADY SENSE THIS IS GOING TO BE SO OOOOO GOOD. im eating my fist
Jihoon huffs underneath you, shaking his head. You’ve still got him pinned, your palm pressed to his chest and your knee planted in his stomach. He glances away from you and you become aware that everyone has stopped to watch the two of you spar. And you’re still on top of him.
⤷ AAUAEUEHEJEUEHRHEHEHWUEUE HES UNSETTLED!!! HE DOESNT LIKET HAT READER IS GOOD AT WHAT SHE DOES!!!! I’m going INSANEEEEEE!!! bro the palpable TENSION,, THE TENSION BETWEEN THEM IS SO FUCKING INSANE AND THEY JUST MET,, please let this be a she falls first but he falls harder FUCK!!!!!
Jihoon snatches his phone and locks the screen, putting it face down. He scowls down, feeling his heart flip a little. Your scent drifts over to him at your proximity, a mix of amber and jasmine. It’s already familiar to him, having caught the scent when you pinned him down earlier, hand pressed to his heart-
⤷ THE TENSION IS SO FUCKJNN HGOODOFFDDJFKROWOWA
You’re pretty. He’s had attractive co-pilots before. That’s not new, nor has it ever bothered him. Something about you draws the eye, though. He thinks it’s the aura of confidence you give off, effortlessly comfortable in your skin and your situation, despite Jihoon not making it any easier on you.
⤷ once again guys. HE WILL FALL HARDER!!!!!!!!!! AND I AM GOING TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT JN A GOOD WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seungcheol relaxes, and though he doesn’t introduce himself, he’s not unkind to you. Jihoon feels a pang for the pilot, knowing that the last year has been difficult for him. Cherry left Seungcheol adrift without a partner, and he’s been unable to find someone to replace her.
⤷ once again hali this is literally like. so insane how easily u are able to reference and bring alt fics into this,,,, like i am SO curious about chan and wylie’s relationship as well as cheol and cherry’s like it’s just SK GOOD AHHH
“Tchaikovsky was inspired by Mozart.” “I didn’t say one was better than the other.” You smirk. “You don’t like differences of opinion, do you?” “I always value opinions. Some more than others.” “Mhmm. Where can I put my things?”
⤷ screaming crying ripping my hair out THEYRE PERFECT FOR ONE ANOTHER!!!!! ALREADY BANTERING AND ALL THAT JAZZ
Weather the storm, you think to yourself. Jihoon is angry and capricious, but it’s more to do with his situation than it is to do with you. And despite his snappy nature, there are flashes of him willing to work with you by answering questions, albeit with attitude. You can do this. You can make Lee Jihoon like you. Maybe even respect you.
⤷ really like the mindset reader has it’s just an overall really good way to view life????? and i think it really compliments jihoon nicely
“Are you a coffee person?” he asks, because he knows you’re awake. Of course he does. You don’t answer for a moment, stuck between eyeing the narrow taper of his hips and the question that implies he’s willing to make you coffee. He turns, arching a brow at you. “Now you shut up?”
⤷ I, too, would be drooling. Me too. (barking loudly. snarling. FUCK!!!;!(!;!(!;!;&:&;)
Jihoon shuffles into the bathroom. You hear the faucet turn on and you go back to tilting your head backward under the stream of water, ignoring the sound of him going about his morning routine. In a way, it’s sort of peaceful, the sounds of him softly opening and closing cabinets and the clinking of jars against the counter soft in the background.
⤷ My god it’s so domestic. My hod. mmmm i love domesticity especially in intense situations .... in life or death situations ....... ughhhh the moments of peace and calm ....
“Meditating. Turn back around so we can be back-to-back.” “What? Why?” “Just trust me.” “I don’t.”
⤷ this is me highlighting this passage and making little heart doodles next to it bc i LOVE BANTERRRRR
You roll your eyes at the barb but grin when Jihoon listens, twisting back around to face the front. He lets you settle against him, the warmth from his back melting into yours. He is rigid, his spine solid as it digs into yours for a second. You lick your lips, feeling electricity shiver down you at the contact, like there’s a spark.
⤷ i need them to jump each other’s bones already
“She did, but it doesn’t make up for what she did. I was her equal, not someone she was supposed to protect.” You look at him and he looks at you, surrounded by your memories in the drift. “I am deserving of treated like an equal.”
⤷ god this entire passage is so powerful i love love when fics give reader Background and Character and mold them!!! and the way that reader is insinuating that they want jihoon to trust her ,,,,
There is a melody to your mind that he enjoys, though he’ll never tell you so. The more you drift together, the more Jihoon realizes that you are exactly like a Tchaikovsky piece. There is an organized chaos to you, a mathematical formula that is logical and measurable, but that deviates from the norm once in a while.
⤷ HES COMPARING HER TO MUSIC
⤷ EVERYOEN FUCKING STAY CALM
Jihoon has quickly learned that the longer he lets you sleep in the morning, the less whiny you are when you wake up. Instead of playing his music out loud, he lets you sleep until he’s made two cups of coffee, adding a spoonful of brown sugar and milk to yours. He sets it on the table and walks back to the bathroom, one of the requiem pieces carrying him through his routine.
⤷ guys it’s so FOMESTIC,,, it’s so FUCKING DOMESTIC IM GENUIENLY GOIGN TO CRY THE ACTS OF SERVICE THE THOUGHTFULNESS THE QUIET FONDNESS FUCK!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“You want to be an extra set of eyes and ears.” He nods at the accurate assessment. “Got it. Run me through Solar Saber drop stats if you know them.”
⤷ ik i keep saying this but i just really love how reader and jihoon don’t have to. Talk. to understand each other they just,,, do? they just know. they just KNOW
“It looks like that kaiju is playing you like a bongo,” Wylie’s voice comes over comms. “Hey Woozi, do you feel like it’s composing one of those songs you like?” “Oh sure,” he shoots back. “Take your time, Wylie. It’s not like it’s trying to crack us like an egg.” “Ugh,” you sigh. “Don’t talk about food. I didn’t eat breakfast. Hey Seungkwan, can you ask Joshua to save me some hash browns? He’s always at the cafeteria first.” Jihoon rolls his eyes. “You’re all insane. Any day now, Fang Striker.”
⤷ PLEASE,,, I LOVE THEM SOOOO MUCH THEIR BONDS ARE SO SILLY!!!!! I am so attached to them <33 love their relationships with each other!!
“So,” you ask the group. “Can we get hashbrowns now?” Jihoon realizes at that moment he doesn’t dislike you at all.
⤷ HES FALLING HARDDDDDD AAAAAAAAJKFDGHJDFKHGFJKGHDFKJG
You’ve adopted a lot of things that Jihoon does. It happens naturally, especially the more you drift. You find yourself putting on Mozart instead of Tchaikovsky or taking your coffee black on accident or scolding others in the training room for not being precise and perfect. Ghost Drifting is what some call it. You don’t think you’re quite there yet, being that Jihoon still hides half of himself away. But sometimes, even outside of the drift, you feel him in your mind like a phantom presence.
love love LOVE when people are close enough that they leave pieces of themselves in each other < 3 it’s always so good no matter if it’s romantic or not
He doesn’t feel your eyes on him, going about making tea for the both of you. He hums along to the song - you don’t know when he became so familiar with it, his movements comfortable. Practiced. Relaxed. A swell of affection overtakes you, realizing you don’t know when he started making you tea. Or putting on Tchaikovsky for you. Or not biting at you every two seconds.
⤷ i’m seriously going to bite my fist it’s the way that jihoon is slowly slowly opening up like a terrified shelter cat god i’m so so so in love with how u characterized his character hali omfg
“Five minutes until surface breach.” “Oh! Hi, Vernon,” you chirp. “Sup?” “Would kill for a coffee right now. And like, a bagel. Or hashbrowns?” Vernon groans. “Mood.” Jihoon snorts but says nothing. Minghao’s voice comes over the comms, soft and cool. “Blue, everytime I drop with you you’re talking about food.” “Have you considered that Ji doesn't feed me?” “So it’s Ji now, huh?” “Don’t get her started,” Jihoon grunts at Minghao’s teasing. “One mile out from the line of defense.” Chan joins the conversation, voice chipper. “Fang Striker ready to pursue. Also, good morning everyone!” Everyone groans in misery collectively instead of greeting him back. Wylie’s voice cracks like a whip as she spits out, “Be nice to him.”
⤷ LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS ENTIRE SEQUENCE i’ve always been SUCH a big fan abt romance stories being more than just the (obvious) romance of the reader and character interacting w one another. the stronger and complex the relationships are w other side characters the better!!! like i can tell sm about ALL characters just from this little snippet!! like there’s so much to be implied here. the insinuation of emperor's mandate and storm breaker dropping together in the past? the implication that hao is catching onto jihoon letting blue in? the soft bullying of chan and how protective wylie is? i love it. love love love
It’s a lie. You know it's a lie because you feel it is as sure as you feel your own glittering satisfaction that he’s thinking about it. That Jihoon is considering opening the door for you, even a fraction.
⤷ oh shut up. oh actually shut up rn. AAAUUUGUGHHHHHHHHHHFJDJSHWHWJAKALEOWOFKR LET HER IN LET HER IBNNNNNN
“There was no reading!” Vernon yells back. “The signature appeared a half second before it attacked like it had some sort of stealth mode!” “Kaiju don’t have fucking stealth mode, Vernon!” “Maybe it got an iOS update man, I don’t know!”
⤷ PLEAAAASE THIS IS SO FUCKING UNDERIOUS I LOVE VERNON SO MUCH LMFAOAOAODOEODOW
“I guess I’m not so bad a co-pilot after all, right?” He rolls his eyes but you get the feeling the tips of his ears have turned red. “Come on, Ji. Tell me I’m a good co-pilot.” “No way.” “Come onnnn.” He levels a look at you, dark eyes churning. He licks his lips, opening and closing his mouth before he finally murmurs, “Can I show you instead?”
⤷ are you. kidin g me. MY FUCKJNG STIMACH DID THE FUCKJGN FLIP THJNGY HALI FUCK YOU JESUSU HFSJDFFHGCHRIST YJEOWIWOD YEOWLS
Snatches of panic and anger and concern seize you for a split second, it feels like your own but you realize it’s not, Jihoon’s feelings bleeding into you like a fresh wound as you strike at the kaiju again. Its tail loops around the left leg again and Jihoon’s worry spikes, so raw and unfamiliar that when he lifts his foot, you don’t lift yours.
⤷ OH MY FUCKIGN GOD!!!!!! OH MY FUCKIGNG GGODODDDDDDDDD. SCREMAING PULLING AT MY FUCKING HAIR. the first time they are uncoordinated.......... GODD........... YELLINGGUYS
A little boy bullied by bigger kids. A woman being torn out of a home screaming in the hand of a kaiju. The sound of Mozart drowning out the screams of destruction. Young Jihoon crying in his room alone, nursing bruised ribs and knees. Teenage Jihoon fighting back. A man named Haneul that has seen all of Jihoon’s scars.
⤷ its the way im fuckinf screaming into my PILLOW ALL OF THE JIHOON LORE,,,,,,
Hatred when he meets you for the first time. Pride when he makes his first successful drop. Grief when Haneul retired. Resentment when he’s reassigned to a new pilot. Jihoon screams your name but you are drowning in him. Jihoon’s emotional dam has broken and years worth of who he is comes out in a torrent. Jihoon joins the pilot program because he wants to get away from the home. The smell of books and oil lanterns. Greasy fingers and fumes. A blue mat rushing up to meet him as he falls.
⤷ SO MUCH JNFORMAJTON AT ONCE,,, OH MY GOD HALI. YOU ARE SOOOO GOOD AT WRITING INTERJECTIONS. AT WRITING LIKE. FAST PACED MOVING SCENARIOS my heart is actually beating SO fast reading all of this like i feel so full of suspense and yearning and hoping that everything will be okay
“Shit,” Jihoon swears. “Blue, come on. Come back to me. I’m sorry. Don’t chase my memories!” A kite against a blue sky. Two paper boats on a lake. Your smile as you hang upside down off the bunk bed. Soonyoung giving Jihoon a birthday cake. Wylie in a hospital bed. Jeonghan and Joshua accepting pilots of the year. “I’m sorry,” Jihoon whispers, both in your mind and outloud. “Come back.”
⤷ this,,,,,,,, this,,!!,,,,,,!!!!!!!!! THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE IS BREAKING THE STORM SHE IS THE STORM BREAKER. fuc k SHE IS JIHOONS STORM BREAKER IM GOING TO SOB MY HEART
You feel your words resonate in him. His affection is startling. He hides nothing from you now, every thought he’s ever had of you, every moment his eyes lingered on you too, every second he realized he didn’t dislike you at all - it’s all there for you to see. His soul laid bare.
⤷ I’m fucjfjnggnot on the floor hali
“So she’ll be okay?” he clarifies again, looking at the doctor with a hard stare. The man tending to your arm looks nervous under the sharp gaze of a jaeger pilot. “You’re sure it’s not broken? It better not be broken.”
⤷ jihoon care agenda,,, ,, , ,,, fuck im so ruined. im such a goddamn fucking sucker for big climaxes that end with character A being so desperate about character B being okay,,,, and you NAILED IT!!!
Back in your room, Jihoon sits you on his bottom bunk to examine the arm himself, holding you carefully as though he can break you at any moment. You let him have this, watching as his eyebrows crease and mouth twists while he rotates your arm delicately.
⤷ chefs fucking kiss chefs. fucking kiss. idk just something about the way he has never been so direct about his attention on blue until now like ru kidding me. its like suddenly all there is in his life is blue and itm akes me want to cry (in a good way)
“You’re not, Jihoon.” You squeeze his arm to emphasize your words. “But even if you were, I trust that little boy too. He was empathetic and kind.” Jihoon glances at you, unsure. “Don’t run away from me now that you’ve let me in. I’ve seen you and I still want you. Unless you don’t want me.” “Of course I do.” “It’s hard to tell with you, you know?” His gaze drops down to your mouth. “I’ll show you, then.”
⤷ my live reaction to this:
Kissing Jihoon is like standing in the eye of a storm. He’s brutal and calm, sharp and soft. His heart beats against yours, his chest heaving when he pulls away from your mouth to press wet kisses to the shape of your jaw and down your throat.
⤷ allusions to storm ,,, he is the storm she broke ,,,,,
“Thank you for waiting for me.” You almost don’t hear him when he says it, his voice so soft. “When you didn’t have to.” Your arms loop around his neck, pulling him closer. His nose brushes against yours and you feel your adoration for him grow. “Of course I did. You were meant for me.”
⤷ you were meant for me. you were meant for me. do you know how much that sentence means to someone who only ever had the textbook definition of love? are you kidding me? you were meant for me. being you means being for me. the meaning of you is to be mine and the meaning of me is to be yours
“Thank you.” You’re so close to sleep that you barely register what he’s saying. “For what?” “Withstanding the storm,” he laughs. “Withstanding me and waiting me out.” “You’re worth it.” “I hope so. I want to be.”
⤷ hali. HALI. the promise of growth and character development. the sentiment of saying thank you for being there while i was difficult instead of i'm sorry you had to see me while i was difficult. once again the full circle back to withstanding the storm. she IS jihoon's storm breaker. god.
TLDR:
⤷ 10/10. this is absolutely one of my favorite fucking woozi fics out there. the world building, the character dynamics, the romance, the beautiful character development,,,, this fic really has it all!!! its genuinely genuinely genuinely one of my favorites out of the (probably five bajillion) fics i've read. and trust me when i've seen i've read a LOT of fics. i usually don't even reread them (i have a hard time enjoying when i know what happens next) but your writing is so so so goddamn good and keeps me on my toes and always has me wanting more. thank u for sticking along the ride of my crazy annotations LMFAO okay thats all goodbye!!!
Storm Breaker (l.jh)
Pairing: Jaeger Pilot!Lee Jihoon x Jaeger Pilot! f.reader
Summary: It’s a known fact Lee Jihoon is one of the best pilots the jaeger Program has. The only problem? He can’t keep a co-pilot to save his life. He thinks you’ll just be another Ranger in the rotation, but you are an unpleasant surprise.
Word Count: 23,373
Genre: Pacific Rim AU, Forced Proximity, Annoyed to Lovers
Type: Smut, Angst
Rating: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging in and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately.
Warnings: Jihoon is a bit of an asshole, action/fighting scenes, brief descriptions of blood, mentions of offscreen deaths, brief mentions of sick parents, brief mention of having no family, sexual tension, explicit language, A Lot of Pacific Rim Techincal Terms But They’re Explained, terrible humor, a hint of angst, brief depictions of Jihoon being insecure about his childhood, sexually explicit content including nipple play, biting, a total of one (1) spank, oral (f. receiving), the slightest hint of voyeurism mentioned, unprotected sex (don’t do this), multiple orgasms, a lot of spit and cum, cum eating, vaginal fingering, a lot of biting, Jihoon is emotionally constipated and then lets it all out lmfaoooo
A/N: This is a re-upload from my old blog, since this was one of the stories that got blasted to the moon. Please enjoy PacRim Uji, who I love so dearly.
A/N 2: SPECIAL THANKS TO @daechwitatamic for not only collaborating with me on our little corner of the internet, but beta reading this giant piece and constantly motivating me while writing it. I could not be anywhere without you I love u
Also in this Universe: Cherry Bomb by @daechwitatamic
Main Masterlist | Ask | Read Next: Cherry Bomb
Jihoon doesn’t flinch when Xander throws his helmet against the wall. The crash is loud, but the reinforced material doesn’t crack under the force of the concrete. It clatters to the floor while Jihoon tucks his helmet under his right arm. Sweat drips down the side of his neck and down his back, but he can’t get to it while in his Drivesuit.
Just add it to his list of inconveniences.
Everyone in the room freezes as Xander storms toward the command center and right for the Marshall in charge, his steps thunderous against the metal floor. Instead of following him, Jihoon leans against the doorframe, watching the way his co-pilot rages, imagining steam coming out of his ears.
“I can’t fucking pilot with him,” Xander screams, stabbing an accusatory finger in Jihoon’s direction. “I refuse to do it. Reassign me.”
Eyes drift toward Jihoon. He ignores them, watching as Xander stops at the command post where both the Marshall and the LOCCENT Mission Controller who just walked them through their kaiju fight stand. Both of them stare at Xander, who is red in the face, chest heaving.
It’s a bit of an overreaction, especially for a team who just dispatched a Category Four kaiju. But it doesn’t matter. Xander isn’t Jihoon’s first co-pilot and he won’t be his last. They rarely last long, a cycle of Rangers who cannot stand to work with him for more than a few fights. Jihoon examines the scratches on his suit, thinking that he needs to get it buffed while the Marshall deliberates how to answer Xander’s demands.
“Ranger-”
Xander cuts off the Marshall. Bold, if you ask Jihoon. “I’ll leave the fucking program if that’s what I have to do. I won’t pilot with him anymore, I don’t care that we can drift. He won’t trust me, he won’t give up the reins and he refuses to let me in. He’s arrogant and pig headed!”
“Pig headed,” Jihoon mutters to himself. “That’s new.”
The Marshall sighs heavily, eyes drifting toward Jihoon, who is still leaning against the doorframe. He lifts a single shoulder in a shrug, unsure what the Marshall expected. Pinching the bridge of his nose, the Marshall asks Xander to follow him, gesturing toward the door at the back of the command center that leads into offices.
Silence blankets the room at their departure. At least, as silent as it can get in the jaeger hub. The beeping of machinery and radar is a constant sound under the hum of machinery and the awkward cough of one of the workers in the room. Jihoon raises his brows as if to ask someone to say something. No one does and he nods, dismissing himself.
Laughter trails up the stairs followed by loud steps. He looks down to see Chan and Wylie coming up the stairwell, cheeks flushed and hairlines sweaty from their battle with Dreadfury only minutes earlier. Their team had the assist on the kill, and though they hadn’t landed the final blow, their constant offense had given Jihoon and his partner the time they needed to figure out how to move in.
Chan sees Jihoon and raises a questioning brow, pausing in the stairs. “Lose your co-pilot?” he asks, looking Jihoon up and down.
“How’d you guess?”
“Standard,” Chan and Wylie say at the same time.
They do that a lot, so in sync that despite the fact that they’re two different people, sometimes Jihoon feels like he’s talking to one. Wylie is a little shorter than Chan, but just as furious in personality and attitude. She leans against Chan, cocking her head to the side. It’s not a conscious movement but an instinct, her body naturally attaching to her co-pilot’s. Jihoon knows that level of closeness well.
“Think they’ll just finally get rid of you?”
“Nope.”
“Standard,” they both say in unison again. It’s Chan who says, “Must be nice to get away with murder, Woozi.” He continues up the stairs, clapping Jihoon on the shoulder as he goes. Wylie trails behind him, shooting Jihoon a grin. “One day you’re gonna end up on your ass.”
“That’s fine. You’ll both take me in, right?”
Both of their voices meld as they howl in laughter, passing him and going into the command center, yelling “Nope!”
Despite their teasing, Jihoon smiles. He’s known the pair for years and despite their ability to get under his skin, he’s fond of them. They’re good jaeger pilots, scrappy as they come and vicious in the field. Unlike Jihoon, they’ve piloted their jaeger together from the start, syncing like twin flames and sticking to one another.
It helps that they grew up together, of course. And that they’re in a relationship, one heart, one soul.
Sighing, Jihoon jogs down the rest of the stairs, tired and sore. He needs a shower, food and a fucking nap. He and Xander had been pulling extra shifts, the kaiju activity having increased with the bad weather. He suspects it was also in an attempt to get Jihoon to bond with Xander more and get him to open up, but that hadn’t happened.
That’s the problem with piloting with Jihoon. The more time people spend with him, the less they can stomach the way he resists them in the mental bridge that connects co-pilots. It isn’t that he’s afraid for them to see what’s in his head - they haven’t earned a right to his privacy.
Privacy is important to him.
Murmurs ripple through the cafeteria as he enters, rolling his head to the side to try and workout the kink that is formed there. He glances around and fights the urge to roll his eyes. Word spreads fast when you’re secluded in the Shatterdome with nothing but fucking ocean and giant monsters around you.
As usual, he ignores the stares and whispering. He catches Soonyoung’s eye from afar and shrugs when his friend gives him a questioning glance, earning an eye roll. Not for the first time, Jihoon finds himself wondering why someone like Soonyoung or Wonwoo can’t be his partner.
Drift compatibility.
He knows that’s the answer, but he’ll never stop wishing that pairing jaeger pilots together was a little easier. So many factors go into making people drift compatible and yet he’s yet to find a partner he can tolerate - or tolerate him in return. If it were as easy as picking his friends, he’d have settled with someone long ago.
Brushing away the thought, he heads to his room. It doesn’t matter what he wants. If wishes were horses, everyone would be a rider. He’s pretty sure that one of his former co-pilots had said that - in regard to Jihoon being impossible to work with, of course.
The dark and quiet of his room brings the peace Jihoon craves. He feels the tension melt from his shoulders. He suddenly realizes how tired he is, feeling like parchment stretched too thin over a rough surface. He peels himself out of his clothes methodically, welcoming the chill of the room against his sweaty skin.
He trails to the shower, tossing his clothes in the hamper as he does. Leaving the lights on so it’s only the dull orange glow over his bed, he turns on the shower as hot as it will go. It takes a second, but soon steam is filling the room, choking him as he slides under the stream of water, sighing as the heat of it burns away any lingering frustration for the day.
Tomorrow, he’ll have a new partner. It’s a simple fact and a routine he is familiar with. That’s fine with him - they can keep assigning people to him until they find someone competent. Jihoon isn’t going anywhere.
He has nowhere else to go anyway.
-
“I need you to do me a favor,” Kira says before you can finish stepping out of the jaeger. The Marshall of the Sydney Shatterdome looks deadly serious. You scoff under the helmet, reaching up to unclasp it and shuck it off. Fresh air fills your lungs. It’s hot and tastes like metal in the jaeger bay, but it’s familiar. “And I need an answer quickly.”
“Ever heard of foreplay?” you grunt, helping Maya out of the giant mech behind you. She shoots you a thankful grin, taking off her helmet. Her face is flushed pink, hairline sweaty. “You really just dive in dry, huh?”
“You know my cousin is a Marshall of a Shatterdome overseas?”
You pause. “Yeah.”
“They’re asking for a skilled pilot to pair with one of their Rangers. They sent over the drift profile and you’re the only pilot we have that’s a match.” You frown and she holds out a hand to stop your protest, a crease in her mouth. “Just look over the report and the profile I sent you, alright?”
“I mean, my answer is no. I’m fine here.”
“You are. You’re one of our best teams,” Kira says earnestly, her dark eyes flicking between you and Maya. “But respectfully, your value is needed elsewhere. There isn’t enough activity here to keep a veteran of your status on shift, Blue.”
You feel a flicker of uncertainty. Rarely does Kira use your nickname. It’s too familiar for a military commander of her status, and though you’ve considered her a friend for years, she never uses your nickname on shift. Unless she really needs something from you.
Licking your lips, you hesitate to answer. You don’t want to say she’s right about your skillset and risk insulting your coworkers and other pilots in the jaeger Program, but it’s an accurate statement. The Shatterdome you report to is old - one of the first built in the beginning. But kaiju activity is mostly unpredictable, shifting with the tides. You barely get them once a month anymore, and there are too many pilots who need the practice.
You don’t.
You glance at Maya and she offers a soft smile. “Hey, I didn’t think you’d be my co-pilot forever. Hoped, maybe. But I didn't expect it.”
“Oh come on, I’m with you for life, Maya.”
“Romantic.” Maya’s gaze softens. “Marshall has a point, though. We’re a little… slow here.”
It makes a pang go through your heart. Maya has been your co-pilot since your mother passed away, and though you didn’t go through the Ranger training program with her, she’s the perfect balance to you. You like having her around, and the thought of changing pilots just because someone wants your experience is… unideal.
Sensing your unease, Maya reaches out and touches your forearm, squeezing over the metal of your Drivesuit. Her smile is soft. Knowing. Like she knew that being in the drift with you wasn’t forever, and she’s already saying bye.
“Look,” Kira sighs, bringing your attention back to her. “My cousin really needs a skilled pilot and someone who is a leader and isn’t afraid of working with veteran pilots. They get more activity, and they need someone sharp. Skilled. Strong.”
“I mean, I’ll look over the papers.”
“Thank you.” She steps away. “I need to know by the end of the day, though.”
“Jesus Christ, Marshall. End of the day is in like two hours.”
Her smile is firm. “I know.”
Waving her off, you leave your jaeger behind, Maya trailing after you. She peppers you with encouragement as you walk, steps heavy on the metal catwalk. You don’t respond right away, thoughts trying to catch up with being thrown an offer immediately after slamming a monster back into the depth of the ocean just minutes ago.
You don’t have to ask why you. Drift compatibility alone is important enough to move jaeger pilots around the world from Shatterdome to Shatterdome in order to make the best pairs possible. There aren’t a ton of pilots - especially among the younger ones - at your base that are compatible with you.
Stubborn, Kira had always said. Finding an equally dominant co-pilot that meshes with you is difficult. You suspect that if you were not extremely talented at what you do and a veteran at your base, they might have moved you to an advisory position a long time ago.
Advising is not for you, though. The grind of metal and the heat of the fight is where you thrive, letting your mind go empty, entirely driven by instinct. Instinct was the reason you were so good at fighting kaiju. Your mom had always said you had the instinct of a warrior, and after putting down as many monsters to protect humanity’s coasts, you had to agree.
Maya immediately goes to the shower once you reach your shared room. You dive onto the bottom bunk, snatching the tablet sitting on your night stand. Your eyes squint from the brightness, sensitive in the dim room. Clicking through your emails, you find the reporting and profile from Kira and open it, information unfurling before you.
“Huh,” You muse, raising your brows as Lee Jihoon appears on your screen. “I know your name.”
His profile is impeccable - and so is his skill. Chewing on your lip, you throw yourself onto your cot and flip through all of the materials provided on your potential co-pilot. Veteran Ranger. Highly skilled in combat. Top of his class in the academy.
Clicking on the attachments, you watch the attached videos. There’s clips from his fights in and out of the suit. You find yourself hypnotized by his fighting style. There is a beauty to it, but it’s absolutely lethal. Efficient. There are no extra flourishes, no showmanship. Lee Jihoon fights to kill.
“So why do you need me?” you mutter to yourself, pulling up his past partners. The list is extensive, stretching back to multiple co-pilots over weeks at a time. “Jesus christ. You do not play nice.”
He must not, at least. Half of the pilots assigned to him are only barely compatible. You know it takes more than just matching fight styles, but based on the history glowing at you from the screen, Jihoon’s Marshall was doing anything they could to keep him, even if it meant pairing him with someone who was scoring as low as 54% compatible.
Pulling up your side-by-side analysis, you whistle. 98% was a good fucking number. You’d only ever had 90% with your mom, and she was genetically linked to you. Still, with as many partners as Jihoon has had in the past year alone, you don’t know that it’s worth it, even if his base has more kaiju activity and looks to be in need of veteran fighters.
Sighing, you close the tablet and throw it on the pillow. Resting your head against the metal wall, you close your eyes, thinking. You’re happy where you’re at. You’re a leader here, and you like Maya as your partner. She’s young and eager to learn - and you like your jaeger. Shadow Stalker is a good suit, though a little older.
Biting your lip, you grab the tablet again, opening the jaeger details on Jihoon’s profile. Newer model. Built for endurance. Equipped with multiple blades, suited for pilots who prefer sword-style fighting. She’s painted gray-blue like the deepest part of a storm - blue like your mother’s first jaeger, which makes you grin.
Storm Breaker. It’s a good name for a jaeger and it matches the profile. She’s built to withstand the brutal waves of the deep ocean and the onslaught of a high-category kaiju. Your interest is piqued, curious about Storm Breaker and her brutal pilot.
Closing the tablet again, you stare into the distance, thinking. “What’s your deal, Lee Jihoon?”
-
Jihoon hates sparring with Chan almost as much as he hates sparring with Wylie. Chan doesn’t scratch at Jihoon like a feral cat like Wylie might, but he does bite, which is exactly what he does when he can’t get out of Jihoon’s hold.
“You fucker,” Jihoon hisses, letting him go. Chan slips out of Jihoon’s grasp and rolls to his feet a few feet away, crouched low and ready to go again. Despite years of being a jaeger pilot, Chan nor his co-pilot have fallen out of their scrapy upbringings, fighting like two street orphans. “What, are you going to bite a kaiju if you can?”
“Of course not. I just don’t like losing to you.”
“Too bad.” Jihoon straightens and lifts his fists, planting his feet firmly. Sweat slicks the back of his neck, wispy pieces of hair escaping his hair tie and sticking to damp skin. “No more biting.”
“No promises.”
Somewhere behind him, Jihoon hears Minghao shriek. “She bit me!”
Scratch that. Maybe Wylie does bite.
Chan comes at Jihoon again. He’s a good fighter and he’s ruthless. It’s one of Jihoon’s favorite things about him. But there’s always an opening, always a moment between fluid movements that reveals itself that Jihoon can take advantage of.
He does exactly that, going on the defense, watching and waiting for the moment. When it reveals itself, Jihoon strikes lightning fast, catching Chan in the chest hard and taking him down to the ground. Jihoon feels the wind leave Chan’s lungs as he coughs hard, head smacking the mat.
Behind them, Jihoon hears the collective wince. Chan is dazed for a second, groaning underneath Jihoon’s hand pressed to his chest. He can feel the hammering of Chan’s heart, a little faster than his own. When it’s clear Chan isn’t going to claw at him, Jihoon stands and offers him a hand.
With a heaving sigh, Chan takes it. Jihoon claps him on the back, grinning as Chan tries to catch his breath, rubbing the back of his head. “That hurt.”
“Oops.” Chan looks over Jihoon’s shoulder and grins, causing him to turn around and follow the younger’s gaze. Wylie sweeps her feet under Mingho’s, knocking him to the mat. She pounces like a creature from hell before he can react, pinning him down. “Well, at least one of us didn’t get our ass beat today.”
“Stop biting, Dino,” Jihoon says as they trail off the mat, a warning. Chan has the decency to look chagrined, bowing slightly to his superior. Jihoon adores the kid, but he will not serve as a chew toy.
Grabbing a water, Jihoon sits down on the floor with Seungkwan, Soonyoung and Seokmin as Junhui and Minghao trade places. Minghao is nursing a scratch on his neck from Wylie’s nails, muttering about her being a demon straight from hell as he sits. Wylie gives her new opponent a wicked grin, taking her place on the mat and beckoning Junhui toward her. Jihoon shakes his head, gulping down water and leaning back on his hands.
“Fresh blood,” Soonyoung notes, gesturing toward the training room entrance as the Marshall leads a group of people in. “They’re holding trials for the two new mark fives tomorrow. Wanna go?”
“No.”
Soonyoung laughs. “Come on, they might be looking for another partner for you too.”
“Don’t care.”
“You can’t keep going through partners, man.”
Jihoon doesn’t react, eyes scanning the group of cadets. They all look fresh-faced and in awe as they’re led around the mats, wide eyes glued to the sparring pilots as they go. His eyes settle on you, though, pausing.
You don’t have the same awestruck wonder as the other cadets, trailing behind them as your eyes scan the structure, the fighters and the equipment around you. Calculating. Critical. You’re a little older than the other cadets too - not in looks but in aura, chin lifted, gaze sharp. Experienced.
Soonyoung follows Jihoon’s line of sight and straightens. “Woah. Who is that?”
“My new drift partner,” Seokmin sighs dreamily. Soonyoung and Seungkwan smack him at the same time, offended. They’re one of the few triple pilot groups, operating a massive piece of machinery made for slaughtering and hammering down on high-grade kaiju. “What? Look at her!”
“You shouldn’t fuck your co-pilot,” Seungkwan mutters. “Look what happened to Seungcheol and Cherry. She’s still at that training facility in Alaska. Didn’t come back after their drift glitched.”
A collective hum goes through them. All of them recall that situation, but no one says a thing. The weight of Cherry’s absence sits heavy on them - even Jihoon misses her a little.
“I don’t know,” Soonyoung notes cryptically, eyeing Wylie. She’s managed to get Junhui off his feet, slamming him down with a rattle of mat and springs, pinning him with a savage growl. Wylie Coyote indeed, Jihoon thinks, smirking. “Seems to work for Wylie just fine. God, look at Chan, he literally has heart eyes. Disgusting.”
It’s true. The pilot in question sits at the edge of the mat, elbows resting on top of his knees as he watches his girlfriend with his mouth open, lips upturned a little. His eyes are dazed, focused on Wylie as she holds onto a thrashing Junhui. There’s so much love in his gaze that Jihoon averts his eyes, worried he’s observing something sacred and private.
“Not everyone is like them,” Seungkwan shoots back. “They share a brain cell.”
“We’re literally drift partners. We basically do the same thing.”
“And yet I don’t want to fuck you, Hoshi.”
Soonyoung cocks his head to the side. “You know, that brings up a valid question-”
“No,” the other three say at the same time, cutting him off before he can get going.
Still, Seungkwan’s point is valid. The drift is something that is so intimate that it isn’t uncommon for copilots to have a romance or some sort of tension. The neural handshake makes you become one, unable to hide anything. It is inviting someone else into your head to see everything you see, everything you have seen. Memories, feelings, thoughts - nothing is yours anymore.
Jihoon hides it all from his co-pilots. He knows he’s not supposed to - openness and being honest and true with your partner makes for a better drift. But the intimacy of the connection makes him uncomfortable, and he’s not ready for anyone to see him - really see him.
So he hides in the drift. Knows how to bring nothing to it, to give only the parts of himself he has to in order for his partner to fight alongside him. Jihoon gives nothing more. And they don’t need it, frankly.
The Marshall leads the new recruits back out of the room. He watches you go, wondering what your deal is. As though you sense his eyes on you, your eyes flicker over to his, catching his gaze. He’s unsure why, but he pauses, the room stilling for a split second. Then you’re grinning wickedly, vanishing from the room.
He brushes it off and turns his eyes back to his friends.
-
Lee Jihoon is prettier in person. You don’t know why it’s the first thing you notice as you watch him walk across the training center. He’s dressed in fitted cargo pants and a racing jacket over a t-shirt, emphasizing his broad shoulders. His hair is bleached and pinned into a low bun, some of his bangs hanging in his dark eyes. He doesn't notice you watching him as he nears an empty mat, shedding the jacket.
He’s compact. Small, but toned, muscles rippling as he begins to go through a series of stretches. You know he’s a good fighter from your observations the day before. Everything about him screams efficiency. You can’t put your thumb on it, but the way he carries himself is methodical.
Lee Jihoon is the perfect jaeger pilot on paper.
It’s the partners that he has a problem with. He’s had eight co-pilots in the last year alone, which is more than anyone has the right to. Before that, he managed to keep someone for six months before they requested a transfer to a different location.
You sense Jihoon’s gaze, realizing he’s picked up on your staring. His expression is as neutral as it was yesterday, as though he has zero interest in whoever you are. He must not - he turns away and gets back to what he was doing, the moment passing without fanfare.
Everyone in the room is paired with their pilots, going through fight sequences. You watch the different pairs, noting those who exhibit high-drift compatibility and others who are still learning. You note how many talented pilots this base has, likely due to the high activity.
As though the thought summons the very creatures from the depths of the ocean, an alarm goes off. You don’t flinch, used to the kaiju alert system. It had gone off the day before, though. You look up at the screen as it flashes the names of the pilots on duty, calling them to report to the drop bridge.
A few shouts of good luck draw your attention to the center of the room where two of the younger pilots head out. You’d seen them sparring earlier, so in time with one another that you weren’t sure where one began and one ended. The man looks at the girl and gives her a smile so full of love that you look away, startled at its intensity.
While romantic connections between pilots aren’t totally uncommon, you’re not used to it. Most of the Rangers at your old base were family members and childhood friends, connection deep and intimate but not like that. You wonder what it must be like, if it makes love any easier to be that deeply connected.
“So are you my new co-pilot?” a soft voice startles you and you turn to see that Jihoon has snuck up on you. His eyes are darker in person, entirely consuming as he looks down at you with a cocked head. His blonde hair sticks to his forehead, pale skin covered in a sheen of sweat. “You must be, right?”
“What makes you think that?”
“You’re not a cadet. And you’ve been watching me for the better part of two hours.”
You shrug. “You can learn a lot from watching veterans.”
“You could at least offer to spar to see if we’re any good together.”
“You mean to see if I’m good enough for you.” He lifts a shoulder, not disagreeing with you. Wiping your palms on your knees, you stand up. Even though he’s small, you’re still a little shorter than him, nearly eye level. You stick your hand out, giving him your name. “But you can call me Blue.”
Instead of taking your hand, he nods and turns on his heel, striding back to the mat he occupied earlier. You stand and stare at the newly vacated spot, hand held out in the air. “Alright,” you mutter to yourself, dropping your hand and going after him.
Eyes follow you. You can feel them as you trail after him, watching his smooth, even gait. Everything about Jihoon is refined and controlled, even down to the minute expressions as he steps onto the mat and turns to face you. Sliding your shoes off, you join him, feeling the spring beneath your step and the softness of the floor.
Jihoon heads to a rack of bo staffs, picking one up and tossing it to you. You snatch it, spinning it lightly to test the weight. The balance is near perfect, a slight weight to the left side. You adjust accordingly, grip firm. Jihoon does the same, spinning his staff and rolling his shoulders.
“Who were those pilots called to make the drop?” you ask, conversational.
“Dino and Wylie.”
“Good pilots?”
He takes his stance. “Excellent. They’re terrors. It won’t be a problem for them. Are you right handed or left handed?”
“Ambidextrous.”
“Good.”
You don’t know why, but his assessing gaze bothers you suddenly. Like you know that even though you know you’re an excellent fighter, it still won’t be enough for him. The thought that you’ve lost before you even begun pricks a nerve and you strike first.
It’s immediately obvious why you’re compatible. Jihoon knows your next move before you know what it is. You feel him move like an instinct, imagining his attack and defense before it happens. It isn’t a fight, but a dialogue, two skilled fighters communicating in a pattern only familiar to them.
Sweat slicks the back of your neck and back. You barely register it, losing yourself in the rhythm of Jihoon’s movements. The sound of the training gym fades to the background and you barely hear the crack of your staffs as they meet over and over again. You hardly see him, vision fading to a narrow point of instinct.
This is how you fight. Muscle memory, driven by intuition.
Your intuition tells you that you’re perfectly matched, fighting style so similar that it’s hard to get a hit in - you won’t get a hit in, too in sync with him to out maneuver him.
So you deviate.
Instead of dodging a smack to the ribs, you let him hit you. His surprise is so apparent that he breaks his concentration and you strike, foot sweeping behind his ankle and pulling, knocking him from his feet. Jihoon goes down hard, breath leaving his lungs as you pounce, pinning him.
For a second, it’s just the two of you. His heart pounds, chest heaving in time with yours. Even your breaths are evenly matched, a tempo that is deeper than most human understanding. Drift compatible. You feel it the same way you feel the spark of his skin even through the fabric of his shirt. You’re so aware of it that you don’t hear what he says at first, his mouth moving but no sounds coming out.
“What?”
“That doesn’t count,” he asserts. “I hit you first. The fight is over after that.”
You frown. “The fight doesn’t end until there’s a killing blow. A swipe to the ribs wouldn’t do it.”
“That isn’t how that works.”
“There are no rules of engagement in the ocean.”
He scowls. “There are basic principles to fighting. You lose when you get hit first.”
“Do you lose when a kaiju hits you first? Or do you keep fighting?”
Jihoon huffs underneath you, shaking his head. You’ve still got him pinned, your palm pressed to his chest and your knee planted in his stomach. He glances away from you and you become aware that everyone has stopped to watch the two of you spar.
And you’re still on top of him.
Clearing your throat, you climb off of him smoothly. You offer a hand to help him up but he doesn’t take it, getting up on his own. He’s flushed, cheeks tinged peak and mouth twisted in frustration. You watch him as he gives the room around you a cutting glance, making everyone immediately turn back to what they were doing.
Jihoon puts his staff back and you watch him. He looks minorly irritated on the surface, but you can see it rippling deeper than that. He’s unsettled and it makes you grin.
“This won’t work,” Jihoon says as he turns back to you, crossing his arms over his chest. You ignore the way his biceps flex and blink at him in confusion. “You can’t be my partner.”
“What? We’re compatible. That was one of the best fighting flows I’ve ever had.”
“We’re too different in principle.”
That gets a frown from you. “I don’t think so at all. You let your instinct guide you. So do I.”
“You deviate.”
“I let the natural dialogue of the fight lead me.”
You let silence fall between you. You can see why so many other pilots had issues with him. Jihoon approaches every statement as though it is the absolute truth, a fact that cannot be disproven. He speaks with the authority of someone who knows he’s right often, and frequently goes unchallenged.
Instead of letting him get a rise out of you, you switch topics. “Are you hungry?”
He pauses. “What?”
“What part of the question didn’t you understand? Are you hungry?”
Jihoon is perplexed. You’re sure that by now, mostly people have visibly grown upset with the combative dialogue. You don’t mind much, watching as he thinks on your question. You take the opportunity to appreciate the gentle slope of his nose up close, the delicate curve of his mouth, the contrast of feminine and masculine features that make an exquisite face.
Then Jihoon unfolds his arms and walks past you. You turn to follow him but he says over his shoulder, “I don’t want to have lunch with you. We’re not friends.”
There’s no room for argument in the way that he says it. You watch him as he leaves, never once turning back.
-
You are vexing.
There isn’t another word to describe you. Jihoon hasn’t the slightest idea how you’ve managed to so thoroughly irritate him at your first encounter, but he can’t stop thinking about how frustrated he is when he slams his tray down on the table.
It’s a little early for lunch, mostly engineers and staff going on shift soon filling the room to eat quickly. The giant clock above the entryway to the cafeteria resets and Jihoon relaxes a little, confirming that Chan and Wylie are fine. He knew they would be - a Category Two kaiju is nothing for a pair like them.
Jihoon finds himself thinking of you. Of what you must be able to do in a jaeger.
Curious, Jihoon looks up your name. It rings a bell - you were pretty renowned at your homebase. Clicking through videos, he sets his phone on the table as he eats, eyes glued to the screen. Your drops are easily accessible to him, clicking through them as he eats.
There is something hypnotizing the way you and your old co-pilot Maya Veliz fight. You’re efficient and without flashy moves, which he can appreciate. But there’s a speed at which you make decisions and take risks that has him shaking his head.
Yet, there is something vaguely familiar. He pauses his meal to watch closer, realizing what it is. There is a brutality to your fighting that he recognizes in himself, a need to kill. You fight to win, willing to take a little damage if it means you can deal the final blow.
The thought unsettles him. Your fighting style is so similar to his that he would be lying if he tried to say otherwise. There is logic and calculation to your moves, but then there’s always that deviation. That random blip in your pattern that is unexpected and dangerous.
“Will watching my drop footage make you like me more?”
Your voice startles him. He drops his fork and it clatters against the table, loud in the soft din of the cafeteria. You’re leaning over him, a smirk on your face and a devilish glint dancing in your eyes as you look at his phone screen where you successfully put down a kaiju.
“Deathclaw wasn’t very impressive. It was pretty small. My mom and I took out Umbraxis my first year, though.”
Jihoon snatches his phone and locks the screen, putting it face down. He scowls down, feeling his heart flip a little. Your scent drifts over to him at your proximity, a mix of amber and jasmine. It’s already familiar to him, having caught the scent when you pinned him down earlier, hand pressed to his heart-
You sit across from him and he looks up at you. His mind goes blank, staring as you unwrap your silverware picking up a fork to stab a piece of chicken and pop it into your mouth. You hum happily, totally unaware - or maybe unbothered - at his increasing irritation.
“Tell me about your jaeger,” you demand - not ask. Your eyes find his, two pools of curiosity that have his tongue heavy, words sticky. “I want to know all about her.”
“You’re not going to make the drop with me.”
The curve of your mouth is wicked. “Tell me anyway.”
For a few minutes, Jihoon doesn’t answer. He waits to see if the silence will push you away or make you anxious. It doesn’t seem to. You keep eating without saying anything else, occasionally glancing at him with a cocked brow as if to suggest you have all the time in the world.
“She was re-outfitted two years ago,” Jihoon says slowly. He doesn’t know why he’s answering you at all, but he continues, “Mark-5 now with the new outfitted tech - she’s still nuclear-driven to avoid any EMP attacks. Outfitted with GD6 steel-obsidian chain swords on each arm, but there are also smaller, detachable blades for hand-to-hand fighting, along with some projectiles. She’s also got a lightning strike powered by the nuclear-core but it can only be used once, and only as a last resort. It obliterates local wildlife in the water.”
“What’s the suspension look like?”
“Gyro-stabilizers to stay fluid when fighting and L-10 locks on all of the joints to strap in and withstand damage. She’s built to take a lot of blunt-force and melee attacks, but she’s top heavy if she loses footing.”
“Have you only been in Storm Breaker?”
He nods. “Since my first drop.”
“She’s beautifully built.”
Jihoon doesn’t respond. It does bring him a small sense of pride to know that you admire the jaeger he fights in, but he doesn’t thank you. He suspects you notice but doesn't say anything, which surprises him. You seem like the stubborn type who doesn't like to back down from a fight, and yet multiple times this morning you’ve conceded to him, refusing to get upset.
It bothers him. He can’t tell if it’s because you’re a people pleaser or if you think you're gentle-parenting him, and he doesn’t like it either way.
So he doesn’t talk to you. He lets the conversation die there, despite sensing your amusement from across the table. He feels the grip on his fork increase, metal biting into his palms as he tries to ignore you. He can smell the jasmine and amber of your perfume, which makes him feel more insane, and he can’t help but steal glances at you and dart his eyes away.
You’re pretty. He’s had attractive co-pilots before. That’s not new, nor has it ever bothered him. Something about you draws the eye, though. He thinks it’s the aura of confidence you give off, effortlessly comfortable in your skin and your situation, despite Jihoon not making it any easier on you.
“Hi,” The raspy voice interrupts Jihoon’s thoughts and he looks up as Wylie slams her tray down on the table. She’s sweaty, freshly peeled from her Drivesuite and offering a hand to you as she gives her full name. “You can call me Wylie, though. Everyone does. Are you Woozi’s new co-pilot?”
“Yes,” you answer at the same time Jihoon says no. “Though I didn’t know that was the name he preferred.”
Wylie shoots him a sly grin and sits down next to him. He curses and scoots over, the younger girl nearly on top of him as she leans her elbows on the table. “He doesn’t prefer it, which is why it stuck. He's a very cranky cat, but he’s nice once you get to know him.”
Jihoon scowls, turning to her. “Did I invite you to sit down with us?”
“No.”
That’s it. That’s the end of her statement. Jihoon watches as she settles happily, opening chocolate milk and chugging it back like it’s water. Jihoon cringes and readies to lob an insult her way when he’s interrupted again, another tray slamming down next to hers.
Closing his eyes, Jihoon summons all the gods he doesn’t believe in to give him the god damn patience. Chan is wearing a shit-eating grin as he leans across the table, offering his hand in the same, chipper manner his partner had moments before.
“I’m Chan. But you can call me Dino.”
“Why Dino?”
“I step on everyone.”
You raise your brows, amused, eyes flickering to Wylie. Sensing your question, Wylie says around a mouthful of mac and cheese, “Like Wylie Coyote because I’m a menace who doesn’t stop attacking.”
“How was your drop?”
“Easy,” they say in unison.
Jihoon focuses on his plate, feeling grouchy. They start to talk like he’s not even there, and though that is typically how conversations go around him, he’s suddenly bothered by it. Especially when you seem so smug that at least someone likes you.
He wants to tell you they don’t count. Chan is one of the nicest people in the Shatterdome and will talk to anyone, if they give him the time of day. Wylie isn’t exactly nice but she’s in love with Chan and is happy to be nice to anyone who is being nice to him. The pair are relatively easy to win over.
It only gets worse for him when Soonyoung and the others start sitting down. Everyone seems eager to ask you questions, a new shiny toy for his friends to play with. He chews on the corner of his lip, feeling stormy in the corner of the table as Seokmin peppers you with questions and exclamations at your answers.
A shift in tension makes Jihoon look up. Seungcheol sits down at the table slowly, as though trying not to be a distraction or catch any attention. He’s three seats away from Wylie and out of her eyeshot, but Wylie is a born predator, sensing him like a hunter. Her eyes cut over to Seungcheol and she bristles, shooting up to her feet to grab her tray and storm off.
Chan sighs, muttering a brief apology before grabbing his things and going after her. Jihoon glances at Seungcheol, watching the way his jaw ticks at the interaction. Surprisingly, you don’t ask any questions. You lean over to Soonyoung and ask him about some of their earlier fights, shifting the energy at the table from tense to light in a second.
Seungcheol relaxes, and though he doesn’t introduce himself, he’s not unkind to you. Jihoon feels a pang for the pilot, knowing that the last year has been difficult for him. Cherry left Seungcheol adrift without a partner, and he’s been unable to find someone to replace her.
He thinks about offering you to Seungcheol as an alternative.
Jihoon does learn a little bit about you while listening to everyone talk, though. You've only had two co-pilots in your life where Jihoon has lost count. He wonders what growing up piloting with a parent feels like, and though you smile as you talk about growing up working with your mom, there’s a tightness to your mouth, a look in your eye that he can’t place.
Feeling his gaze, your eyes shift to him. Jihoon realizes he’s been staring at you. He stands and leaves the table abruptly, Seokmin’s voice apologizing on his behalf drifting after him.
Thankfully, you don’t follow him. He dumps his tray and leaves it in the discarded pile for the cafeteria staff and immediately begins the climb to the command bridge where the Marshall’s office is. His thoughts race but go nowhere at the same time, an echochamber that he can’t untangle.
Before Jihoon can knock on the entrance to the Marshall’s office, the military commander looks up and waves Jihoon in. “I was about to call for you. Shut the door, please.”
Jihoon does so without comment and sits down. He glances around the office, distracting himself as the Marshall finishes what he was working on. The office is orderly and tidy, every ounce the professional and uptight officer that sits in front of Jihoon, leaning back in the seat to sigh heavily and level Jihoon with a stare.
Before Jihoon can open his mouth to list all of the reasons you shouldn’t be his pilot, the Marshall speaks. “You’re on probation.”
“I - what?”
“For the next three months, if you lose your co-pilot, you will be reassigned to administrative work or to a new Shatterdome.”
Jihoon opens his mouth. Closes it. The weight of the Marshall’s words don’t quite sink in, though Jihoon can tell they’re heavy. Real. “We’ve given you plenty of chances to effectively remain a pilot for Storm Breaker, but the board feels as though the trade off has become an issue.”
“The trade off?”
“You’re costing us money. And cadets. People want to train where they can potentially see themselves become a pilot. When we have open spots and jaegers coming up on retirement, it bolsters recruitment.” The Marshall levels him with a tired stare. “But when we have a pilot who no one can partner with, it puts us in a bind to send cadets where they will fit elsewhere.”
“Look - “
“No you look, Lee. You’ve been a pilot here for six years. That’s considered a veteran in this field. But the higher ups grow tired of even veterans when they’ve been unmanageable for the last two of those six years.”
Heat flashes up the side of Jihoon’s neck, equal parts embarrassed and angry. He’d been the first in his class to suit up, selected as Haneul’s co-pilot to fill in for their partner that had retired. Jihoon remembers how proud - and nervous - he was and how easy it had been to partner with Haneul.
He didn’t have that anymore, the safety net of the only parental figure he’d ever known gone.
“The pilots you’ve paired me with have no business being in a jaeger,” Jihoon says matter of factly. “I don’t respect them.”
“Well good thing we’ve given you someone to respect.”
Jihoon shakes his head. “I can’t fight with her.”
“You can and you will. Your drift compatibility is 98% and you have similar fighting style and come from similar machines. You’ll start Conn-pod training tomorrow.”
“Don’t make me partner with her. I don’t like her.”
The Marshall stands. “One day you might learn that if you give people a chance, you’d like what you find.”
“Marshall-”
“That’s all, Ranger.”
The air feels heavy as Jihoon leaves the Marshall’s office. He stops on the command deck, his eyes flickering over to the windows. The glass is floor to ceiling all the way around, giving the tower a 360-degree view of the pacific ocean. Blue stretches out as far as the eye can see, backdropped by the shining silver of the city.
Boats bob on the water, shifting back and forth on the dark surface. Air teams go back and forth, working in the aftermath of Chan and Wylie’s successful kaiju destruction. Jihoon can see the toxicity on the surface of the water, an oil slick that he knows the exact pungent smell of.
Trailing to an observation window, he stares with unseeing eyes. How many times had he stood up here and provided commentary to his friends during a fight? He didn’t frequent the command deck, but sometimes it gave him perspective. Or he was a little worried about his friends, especially when they were taking on higher category kaiju.
Jihoon chews on the side of his lip. He’s talked Wylie and Chan through plenty of bouts before. He remembers sharply the terror of the fight that had changed all of their lives over a year ago, watching as the hull of Fang Striker was breached, the screams of terror as Wylie took a talon to the stomach, nearly killing her. The aftermath of Chan’s grief.
A chill breaks out over his arms. Jihoon knows he isn’t cut out to sit through something like that again, to try and get a panicking pilot to focus and get to safety. He’s not made for an advisory role. Not built to watch pilots come and go, completely operating out of his control.
Death is easier to process in the heat of battle. It gives him an excuse to be distracted, to hide from the immediate pain of losing a pilot during a fight because he’s too busy protecting himself, protecting the city. He’s not made to watch it from afar and take the full weight of it.
Turning away from the window, Jihoon descends back down to the ground floor.
Probation period. Three months of having to stomach you or he’s out. Flexing his fingers, he heads to his room, needing the silence. If Jihoon is going to do this, he knows he needs to keep himself in line. Can’t push you away like he has the others.
And he hates you for it.
-
Music bleeds through the metal door out into the hall. You wonder how any of the neighboring rooms let him get away with it. Then again, Lee Jihoon seems like someone most jaeger pilots don’t go toe-to-toe with often, if they can help it. At least it’s classical music, the swelling sound of Mozart sweeping into the hallway as you open the door, propping it with your hip to haul the box in your arms through.
Jihoon’s eyes snap open immediately. He’s lounging on the bottom bunk of the bed in the far corner of the room, face lit by the glow of the muted screen in the corner showing the rain and ocean spray beating against the Shatterdome. Nothing disturbs the seas at the moment, though you wonder in a hotspot like this how long that will last.
A scowl twists his mouth. You let the door shut behind you, setting the box down on the media table by the doorway. “Mozart?” you ask, arching a brow. He glares at you, sitting up from where he had been lounging with his hands tucked behind his head. “A bit cliche, don’t you think?”
“What do you know about music?”
“Enough to know that someone with balanced compositions that orchestrate total control and logic in its make is… not surprising for you.” He blinks in surprise. “I like Tchaikovsky. There’s something more mercurial to his compositions.”
“Tchaikovsky was inspired by Mozart.”
“I didn’t say one was better than the other.” You smirk. “You don’t like differences of opinion, do you?”
“I always value opinions. Some more than others.”
“Mhmm. Where can I put my things?”
Jihoon closes his eyes and lays back on the bed. His blonde hair is undone, fanning around him in a silvery-white halo. “The trash chute, preferably.”
“Wherever I want, got it.”
He ignores you. You suppress a laugh and move into the room proper. It’s small, filled with only the essentials to house two people to eat, sleep, and shower. A small kitchenette sits to your left, hidden in darkness with all of the lights off. You spot a shelf filled with dry goods - mostly protein bars - and coffee. There is a sad excuse for a sitting area with a tiny table and two chairs next to the TV screen, a bunk bed with a wardrobe next to it, and a tiny bathroom.
Cozy.
Pulling open the wardrobe, you see that there’s room for your things. You shoot Jihoon a sidelong glance. He certainly hadn’t moved his things over to take over the full wardrobe after his last pilot left. You wonder if he’s just used to being unable to use the full space or if he had made room for you.
You doubt it’s the latter.
Ave Verum Corpus plays in the background as you unpack the tiny box that is your life. You hum along, shutting the wardrobe and padding over to the bathroom. Jihoon could be asleep for all you know, but you suspect he’s not. When you glance over at him after shutting the medicine cabinet, you see his foot tapping to the beat of the music.
“What other kind of music do you like?” His foot stops tapping at your question.
Turning off the bathroom light, you move to the door to break down the cardboard box you brought your things in. Jihoon doesn’t answer at first, his frame rigid with tension, as though he had forgotten you were there until you spoke. You suppose that’s entirely possible, if not a little unlikely.
Just when you think he’s not going to answer, he mutters, “I like ballads.”
“Romantic.” He frowns but doesn’t say anything further. “What’s your favorite one? Or artist?”
“Go play twenty questions with someone else. I’m not interested.”
“I’m going to find out anyway.” He opens his eyes then. They’re dark, pupils blown as his face twitches in an almost snarl. “It is an inevitable fact that we will have to drift. I recommend making peace with that now.”
“I’m going to bed,” he announces, flopping over on his side and crossing his arms.
You let Jihoon be mean. It does you no good to fight with him when you eventually need him on your side, and you can sympathize with him to a degree. He didn’t choose you as his pilot and he’s backed into a corner, a do or die situation that he can’t back out of. The only way is forward and it’s against his will.
As he pretends to sleep, you occupy yourself on the top bunk with your tablet, sliding headphones over your ears so he doesn’t bitch you out. Flicking through online channels, you familiarize yourself with your fellow jaeger pilots at the Shatterdome, watching fight footage and interviews.
You come across a set of popular pilots, only one of them familiar to you. You recognize the man from dinner earlier - he had sat down and the tension around the table had increased tenfold. Wylie had immediately clocked his presence and stormed off, Chan trailing behind her with an apologetic look.
Tapping on their information, you hum in interest to yourself. Seungcheol. You recognize the name, vaguely. He piloted Duellona Fury with his copilot, a woman you don’t recognize but that has a bright smile. They make a good team, totally in sync and feeding off each other’s energy. You wonder where she is now, assuming she’s the source of the tension between Wylie and Seungcheol.
You wonder what you and Jihoon will be like as drift partners. So far he seems to hate you, but he does tolerate you. It’s a start, if not ideal. You won’t start drifting right away - not for real anyway. Practicing combat drills and learning more about one another is the first step to any partnership, followed by practice drifts.
In the drift, there’s no room for hatred or enmity. Trust is paramount, but almost as important is respect. Respect for what you see in the thoughts and feelings of your partner, respect that they’re good at what they do and that they’re the best person for the job, respect that they are your equal. Too many partners get lost in trying to save the other, losing sight of being equally capable or feeling like they know better.
Jihoon doesn’t seem capable of that. Not right now, anyway. It doesn’t matter, though. You’re his only option to stay in the jaeger program, and though he hasn’t said anything about it, you’re pretty sure he knows.
“Can you shut the tablet off?” Jihoon grunts from below. You sigh heavily, tucking it to your chest. “The glow is fucking bright.”
“The TV is also glowing, Jihoon.”
“Yeah, so your tablet adds to the general light in the room.”
“Close your eyes.”
“It isn’t helping. Go under your covers.”
Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath in, you lock the tablet and shove it under your pillow. “Better?”
“Yes.”
Weather the storm, you think to yourself. Jihoon is angry and capricious, but it’s more to do with his situation than it is to do with you. And despite his snappy nature, there are flashes of him willing to work with you by answering questions, albeit with attitude.
You can do this. You can make Lee Jihoon like you. Maybe even respect you.
-
You are not a morning person. Lee Jihoon, however, is a morning person. Which is why it takes everything inside of you not to launch your pillow at him when you hear the classical music wake you from sleep in the morning, making you lift your heavy head to look around the room, vision blurry.
Heat from a fresh shower drifts from the bathroom only a short distance away. You stare in confusion, blinking rapidly as Jihoon walks out of the bathroom. He’s brushing his teeth furiously with one hand, looking at his phone with the other, blue light making him look like a phantom in the dim light.
And he’s dressed in nothing but a towel slung low on his waist, making you nearly go catatonic.
It’s not like you haven’t seen a body before - it’s just a body, and soon enough, you’ll be in his head. It’s important to get any weirdness out of the way because in the drift, you’ll bare everything. But for some reason the image of his small, compact body scrambles your brain this early in the morning.
Jihoon is built like a weapon, all sleek lines and hard muscles. He stands in the kitchen, setting down his phone as he opens cabinets and starts to make coffee, toothbrush still in his mouth. The muscles in his back flex as he moves, skin pale and smooth as the moon.
“Are you a coffee person?” he asks, because he knows you’re awake. Of course he does. You don’t answer for a moment, stuck between eyeing the narrow taper of his hips and the question that implies he’s willing to make you coffee. He turns, arching a brow at you. “Now you shut up?”
That brings a scowl to your face. “Yes, I drink coffee.”
“Great.”
He goes back to what he was doing, ignoring you entirely. Dragging your eyes away from him, feeling flushed and overwarm, you throw the covers back, scrambling from the top bunk. You land with a soft huff, feeling the chill of the concrete floor as you dart to the wardrobe to pull out clothes.
“What time is it?”
“You have eyes, look at the TV.”
Got it, you think. He’ll make coffee for you but not do something as simple as answer what time it is. You do look at the TV, seeing the darkened feed of the churning ocean breaking against the walls of the Shatterdome. There are multiple camera angles, weather radar and Dome messages that break up the screen into sections. The time is in the top corner, flashing 5:13 am.
“Ji, it is five in the morning.”
“Five-thirteen. And don’t call me Ji. I’m not your buddy.”
Taking a deep breath, you mutter curses under your breath. “I’m going to shower.”
As expected, you get no response.
The great thing about living in a billion dollar buildinding with hundreds of people is that there’s no shortage of hot water. You’re grateful as the steam fills the room, hot water making your coiled muscles melt the second you step under the shower. You let the frustration from the morning fade away, the rush of the water and the feel of it sluicing down your back-
A loud knock on the door breaks your reverie. You hear it open. Jihoon grunts, “I wasn’t done brushing my teeth. I need the sink.”
“Then use the sink.”
Jihoon shuffles into the bathroom. You hear the faucet turn on and you go back to tilting your head backward under the stream of water, ignoring the sound of him going about his morning routine. In a way, it’s sort of peaceful, the sounds of him softly opening and closing cabinets and the clinking of jars against the counter soft in the background.
He’s back in the kitchen by the time you’re out of the shower and wrapped in a towel. You venture out into the main room in kind, deciding that if he is going to walk around in nothing but a towel, so will you. He barely gives you a glance from his bottom bunk, lounging around in low-slung sweats with no shirt, blonde hair splayed on his pillow. You ignore him in favor of the lone mug of coffee sitting in the kitchen steaming.
Gripping it and bringing it up, you let the ceramic warm you from your palms upward, inhaling before taking a tentative sip. It’s bitter but it helps you wake up. You glance at Jihoon from over the lip of the cup. He scrolls on a tablet mindlessly, as though he’s forgotten you’re there.
Neither one of you speaks as you finish your coffee. Turning to the sink, you start washing the cup out. You notice his used mug sitting in the bottom of the sink and pick it up, wash it and put it in the drying rack next to yours without thinking about it before returning to the bathroom to dress fully.
Once dressed and out of the bathroom, it’s almost six. Jihoon is bent over by the door, his boot on the coffee table as he laces it. Now fully dressed, his long hair is pulled back in a bun, a few silver whisps escaping and falling across his face. Again, you’re struck by how beautiful he is for a moment.
He straightens and looks at you, raising his brows. Instead of answering him, you hurry to the wardrobe, pulling out your boots to slide them on and head to breakfast. You half expect him to leave you behind, but to your surprise, he lingers with the door open, dark eyes clocking your every movement. As soon as you’re done tying laces, he’s out the door and charging again, leaving you to scramble behind him.
Silence follows you into the cafeteria, which has the quiet atmosphere of an early morning. Workers and pilots ending their shifts sit at the table, scarfing down breakfast for dinner. Early shift workers hurry to grab a bite before heading off to the different parts of the Shatterdome. It’s not nearly as loud as lunch or dinner, but the soft din is inviting as you go through the line, following your new co-pilot wordlessly.
None of the friendly faces from yesterday are in the cafeteria, so the two of you sit alone. Jihoon is methodical as he sets up his breakfast, each move calculated and precise. He eats the same way, finishing something entirely before moving on to the next time.
His obsession with organization and control is almost fascinating, if not a little worrying. Instead of asking about it, you eat in silence, humming delightedly at the cheesy hashbrowns made available that morning. He casts you a single annoyed glance when he notices you enjoying your meal.
Breakfast goes without a fight, though. Glancing at the large clock above the entrance to the cafeteria, you realize you only have a few minutes left before your day of training starts. Jihoon seems to be on the same wavelength, pulling out his phone to scroll through your schedule.
“Meditation first,” he murmurs. He shoves his phone in his pocket and stands without preamble. “Do you think you can manage meditation?”
“Perhaps you haven’t noticed, but we haven’t spoken for over an hour.”
Confusion crosses his face, quickly followed by astonishment. He hadn’t realized that most of your morning has been spent in silence. His brows pull together, mouth turning slightly as he works over your words. It seems to make him unhappy. He narrows his eyes and his mouth twists before he turns and marches away from the table, leaving you behind.
Mouth quirking, you follow quickly, not wanting to lose your way to wherever it is you’re supposed to report to. He walks faster this time, determined to keep you moving and on your toes. Wherever the studio designated to you for the morning feels like it’s halfway around the world. Jihoon leads you down a series of halls and stairs, never slowing his pace once.
By the time you get to a small, soundproof room, your calves are burning.
“You need conditioning,” he mutters, noticing the way you’re a little out of breath.
“You basically just took me on a light jog,” you protest. “I think it’s fair to be a little winded this early in the morning.”
“It doesn’t matter what time it is. What will you do if we make the drop at four in the morning?”
Jihoon doesn’t wait for you to answer. Instead, he goes to the middle of the room and sits down on the floor, and crosses his legs. Instead of taking his bait and picking a fight with him, you sigh and stride into the room. He positions himself, ready for you to sit in front of him. Instead, you circle around him, sitting down behind him.
“What are you doing?” he asks, twisting toward you.
“Meditating. Turn back around so we can be back-to-back.”
“What? Why?”
“Just trust me.”
“I don’t.”
“Well, try. It’s easier to feel your breaths and your heartbeat this way. Plus, there's less pressure if you don’t have to look directly at me.”
“Thank god for that,” he mutters.
You roll your eyes at the barb but grin when Jihoon listens, twisting back around to face the front. He lets you settle against him, the warmth from his back melting into yours. He is rigid, his spine solid as it digs into yours for a second. You lick your lips, feeling electricity shiver down you at the contact, like there’s a spark.
The hum of the air condition is the only sound in the room. You close your eyes, leaning into Jihoon so that you fit flush together. You match your breaths with his, feeling your breathing slow down. Your heart slows to, like it’s trying to let him catch up, both of you melting into the same rhythm.
Behind you, Jihoon relaxes. The back of his head rests against yours, both of you leaning into the touch, becoming the equal opposing force holding the other up.
Balance is imperative in co-pilots. Jihoon needed to bring to the fight what you lacked and vice versa, the two of you making something whole, something complete. It’s a balance that’s not easily achieved, and though you’d always been a good pair with your mother and then maya, you know instinctively that it’s nothing compared to Jihoon’s counterbalance.
A timer goes off in the room, startling you with how quickly time has passed. You blink your eyes rapidly, letting the room swim back into focus. For a second, neither one of you moves, content to lean against the other until Jihoon seems to realize he’s still pressed against you. He scrambles to his feet unexpectedly and you fall backward, losing his counterweight immediately.
Thunking against the floor, you glare up at him. He smirks, looking down at you as he wipes dust from the back of his pants. “You should never let a co-pilot fall,” you huff, hauling yourself to your feet.
“Good thing we’re not really co-pilots.”
“Yet,” you supply. You get up, stretching and feeling your joints pop. “Even you can’t deny that it was a great first meditation session.”
“Let’s go. We have sparring.”
-
Jihoon doesn’t like you.
He doesn’t like you, but he has to admit you are a perfect fit for him. You are loud where he is quiet, you make light when he remains serious, and you deviate when he’s planned. Yet somehow, you manage to mesh with him in your training, the perfect opposite force to him.
For the most part, you leave him alone. He can tell you’ve figured out when to bite back and when to eat your words. It’s become a game to him, throwing insults your way to watch whether you’ll riposte back or swallow your pride.
The amount of times you swallow your pride impresses him, unfortunately. His original assessment that you are unpredictable and uncontrolled was wrong. He can see the way you actively meet his cold winter with warm summer, trying to melt him.
He doesn't like giving you credit for your control, but he does so begrudgingly.
Worst of all, he realizes that it’s not you he dislikes. It’s his situation, it’s knowing that you’re his lifeline and he has to accept you, and it’s knowing that despite his initial dislike, you’re a mirror that he can’t look away from. It doesn’t help that you live two feet away from him at all times, occupying every moment of his life just a reach-of-a-hand away.
Training is tiring. It feels like he’s a rookie all over again, going through the exercises as the two of you learn to fight together, moving through meditation sessions, sparring, talking sessions - which don't really involve a lot of talking on his part as much as yours - and drop simulations.
Drop simulations are the most exhausting for him. You bring everything to the drift. It’s nearly overwhelming at first how much you’re willing to show him. From the moment the mental bridge connects the two of you through the simulation software, Jihoon is shocked at the way you lay yourself bare. You hide nothing from him, letting him roam around your thoughts at his leisure.
He feels everything you’ve ever felt. Elation when you make your first real drop with your first co-pilot, your mom. Sore ribs after a particularly difficult sparring match when you were a teeager in the training program. Pride when you finish the top of your training program. Terror when a fight goes awry and your mother overwhelms you in the drift, taking the full neural load of the jaeger to protect you. Rage at her doing so.
“What happened here?” he finds himself asking, sticking near the memory.
He thinks you won’t answer him, but of course you do. Unlike him, you’re open for the taking. “The hull was breached in my first year of fighting. My mother panicked because it was on my side of the jaeger and she tried to take on the neural load.”
Jihoon says nothing. Piloting a jaeger alone overwhelms the nervous system and the brain, which is why each jaeger has two pilots in the first place. It can be done, but the risk for damage is always present. He senses where your conversation is going.
“We only piloted together for three more years after that. She was starting to struggle to make the drift, so we paused to get her examined. They discovered lesions on her brain and linked it to the damage from that day she tried to pilot alone.”
“She wanted to protect you.”
“She did, but it doesn’t make up for what she did. I was her equal, not someone she was supposed to protect.” You look at him and he looks at you, surrounded by your memories in the drift. “I am deserving of treated like an equal.”
He understands what you’re really saying, that he should treat you like an equal too. Instead of responding, he busies himself with studying other parts of you that you let him have.
There is a melody to your mind that he enjoys, though he’ll never tell you so. The more you drift together, the more Jihoon realizes that you are exactly like a Tchaikovsky piece. There is an organized chaos to you, a mathematical formula that is logical and measurable, but that deviates from the norm once in a while.
Every drift, you remain open to him, your thoughts for the taking. You don’t even hide the moments you’ve thought of him - both in occasional attraction and irritation. Irritation at him bringing nothing to drift, opening no part of himself to you. Irritation when he’s mean to you. Hesitant fondness when he does something nice. Confused attraction when he walks around in just a towel.
Water sluices down his back. Jihoon’s thoughts are still foggy from three weeks of nothing but practice and drills. He also finds it harder to sleep sometimes in the room, his dreams filled with the scent of your amber and jasmine and the lively sound of Tchaikovsky acting as the soundtrack to his dreams.
You’re still asleep when he exits the bathroom. He’s made sure to turn the light off before opening the door, steam billowing out after him. He scoops headphones from the nightstand as he heads to the kitchen, towel snug around his waist. He pops the earbuds in, the sound of Mozart starting his morning as he begins to make coffee.
Jihoon has quickly learned that the longer he lets you sleep in the morning, the less whiny you are when you wake up. Instead of playing his music out loud, he lets you sleep until he’s made two cups of coffee, adding a spoonful of brown sugar and milk to yours. He sets it on the table and walks back to the bathroom, one of the requiem pieces carrying him through his routine.
On the way to the bathroom, he stops by your bunk. He hesitates for a second, drinking you in as you sleep. Nestled in that top bunk is the only place you’re as peaceful as you are in the drift. Your features are smoothed out as you slumber, mouth open a little, drool sticky on the corner of your mouth. Jihoon’s lips twitch a little and he shakes his head before reaching out to tap the ankle hanging off your bed. You mumble in response.
“Get up,” he says gruffly. “You’ve slept long enough.”
He returns to the bathroom and shuts the door to get fully dressed. He knows you’ll be standing in the kitchen looking dazed and confused sipping coffee until he comes out and frees the bathroom for you to shower.
The alarm for a kaiju alert goes off. He hears it blaring over his music and he pulls the earbuds out, opening the door half dressed in just pants as he looks at the screen flashing red. A Category Four kaiju has been sighted in the bay. His heart skips, knowing that Cat-4 kaiju are dangerous even for the most skilled pilots at the Dome.
Assignments flash across the screen. Solar Saber and Fang Striker have been summoned to drop. Nervousness flutters in Jihoon’s stomach. He snatches a shirt and yanks it over his head, moving quickly around the room to grab boots.
“What are you doing?” you ask, leaning off the counter.
“Heading to the command deck. Come or don’t.”
“I’ll come.”
You dump your coffee in the sink, jumping to action as you peel off your pajama pants, searching for cargos. Jihoon hardly realizes you’re changing in front of him - he’s seen it all in your head anyway - as he laces his boots. He doesn’t know why, but he starts to explain himself, “Dino and Wylie have a… history with Cat-4 kaiju.”
“You want to be an extra set of eyes and ears.” He nods at the accurate assessment. “Got it. Run me through Solar Saber drop stats if you know them.”
Jihoon does. He fires off what he knows about the team. Their stats are fine, but a Category Four kaiju is new for them. They have a good jaeger. It’s on the newer side, nuclear powered with plasma cannons and a massive plasma sword that burns brighter than the sun, earning the machine its name. It’s piloted by a set of twins, which produce some of the best drifts in the jaeger program.
But there’s a nervousness in Jihoon’s stomach that he can’t place. Everytime his friends drop, he knows they’ll be okay - but he also knows the level of danger. Perhaps it’s because of Chan and Wylie’s accident last year or because they’re dropping with a team Jihoon doesn’t trust, but he suddenly wants to tell the Marshall to let Storm Breaker do the drop.
A hand brings him out of his thoughts. Your gaze is as calm as the surface of a lake, piercing. “We’re ready, if we need to be.”
Of course you know what he’s thinking. Despite his best efforts, you seem particularly good at stitching the tiny threads that escape through Jihoon’s wall of ice.
You drop your hand and grab the room keys, heading toward the door with top speed. His arm is warm where your fingers were a moment ago, burning like a brand. He shakes it off as he follows you out, both of you jogging up to the top level of the Shatterdome to observe.
Crew races around the dome. Jihoon sees Seungkwan and Vernon rushing up the stairs to the command deck. He follows suit, you quick on his heels. People fill the room, talking over one another as they shout into headsets and screens flash different camera angles.
The Marshall stands in the center of it all behind the LOCCENT Mission Controller who will walk the pilots through the fight. Jihoon doesn’t recognize the man giving them instructions, but he joins the wall of people standing behind him to observe the screens, taking a place next to Vernon and Seungkwan.
You glance at Vernon and back to Jihoon, a question in your gaze. “This is Vernon,” Jihoon says in response. “He’s currently a jumphawk pilot. Could be a jaeger pilot if he could figure out the drift but he’s too screwy up top.”
“Thanks, man.”
“You can call me Blue,” you offer. Your eyes drift to the screens. “Friends of the pilots out there?”
“Wylie is one of my best friends.”
Instead of telling him something like they’ll be alright or offering words of comfort, all you do is nod. Jihoon respects that. Anything comforting would be a potential lie and useless in a world of blood and metal, salt and fire.
The entire room falls into a steady cadence. Jihoon crosses his arms as he focuses on the screen. He’s mutely aware that you’re standing so close to him he can feel the heat of your arm, hands shoved in your pockets as you watch the screens, brows furrowed in concentration.
On screen, Solar Saber churns the water toward a towering kaiju in the bay. The creature is straight out of a nightmare, a barbed tail whipping across the surface of the ocean, misting water as it does. From what Jihoon can tell, it’s got four legs, each equipped with long talons. Rows and rows of teeth reveal itself as the kaiju opens its mouth and roars, the vibration from the sound so deep that it vibrates underneath his feet.
“I don’t like that tail,” Vernon mutters next to Jihoon.
“It’s like a manticore.” Jihoon glances at you. You’re not looking at them, but your head is tilted in curiosity as you point to the screen. “Four legs, a curved tail with a barb. The webbing around its neck suggests it might have a frill.”
“Strike teams, confirm positions,” the LOCCENT controller says into the mic.
“Fang Striker in position two miles north of kaiju and Solar Saber.” It’s Wylie’s raspy voice that crackles over the shared radiowave with the jaeger teams. “Perimeter is set.”
“Solar Saber ready to engage,” a female voice comes over the speaker. Jihoon recognizes it as one of the twin co-pilots, Jezzi.
“Permission to engage.”
As Solar Saber engages with the kaiju, the command deck goes quiet. People guiding the helicopters and ground teams speak softly into their mics, a level of tense calm washing over as everyone watches the fight ensue.
Solar Saber is beautiful to watch fight. The armor is painted radiant gold and the glow of the sword is magnificent against the stormy waters as it slashes at the kaiju. Jezzi and her sister Yaz are calm throughout their bout, their voices clear and communicative as the kaiju batters them.
“Cut off the tail,” you mutter under your breath. “It’s going to-”
Jihoon sees what you do as soon as you say it. While trying to kill the kaiju with a direct blow, Solar Saber has forgotten about the tail. The tip of the tail shivers, reminding Jihoon of a cat ready to strike, and it does. One moment, Solar Saber and the kaiju are locked in a wrestling match. Next, the tail is hammering the hull of the jaeger, striking over and over again like a scorpion.
Chaos explodes on the screens. Jihoon holds his breath as red flashes across the screens as the tail breaches the hull of Solar Saber. A tingle settles over him, the buzz of nerves as he watches Solar Saber take a knee, ocean water surging around the jaeger as the kaiju’s tail continues to hammer the jaeger’s head open.
Jihoon grabs the LOCCENT Controller’s chair and yanks him backward out of the way, jamming his finger against the button to speak. “Don’t let it force you under the waterline,” he barks. “Cut off that tail, Solar Saber. If it forces you down, you’re going to take on water and drown.”
“The right panel is damaged from acid from the tail,” Jezzi yells over the comes. “Sword arm cannot engage.”
“Then disengage, Solar Saber. Do not let it force you down another knee.”
Yaz screams back something incomprehensible over the comms. The left arm of Solar Saber lurches, reaching for the kaiju’s tail. It catches, yanking at the appendage hard. The kaiju screams as the tail breaks where Solar Saber has it gripped. The kaiju frenzies, screaming wildly as frills - just like you’d predicted - shake to life by its head, vibrating back and forth in a threat display as its dismembered tail whips back and forth, spraying ichor.
“Fang Striker engaging,” Chan’s voice comes over the comms.
It’s the Marshall who answers. “Fang Striker, hold the perimeter.”
“Fuck the peremiter,” Wylie seethes.
The Marshall turns to you and Jihoon. “We’re ready,” Jihoon says at the same time as you.
A string of curses leaves Marshall’s mouth. “Fang Striker, assist Solar Saber with the intent to disengage. Storm Breaker dropping in ten.”
Heart hammering, Jihoon turns to follow you out of the command center, footsteps like thunder as you sprint to the jaeger bay. He doesn’t even think twice about dropping with you, any reservations about you vanishing as the fighting instinct takes over.
You’re an entirely different person when you step onto the catwalk, your team already scrambling with pieces of your Drivesuit. There is an eerie calm about you. You meet his gaze head on as your team fits armored pieces of Drivesuit onto your arms. Jihoon sees himself reflected so clearly that he’s startled.
“What?” you ask, sensing the bewilderment.
“Show me what you’re made of,” he says simply.
Your mouth curves in a wicked grin and you nod once, understanding.
Storm Breaker is beautiful. The fondness for her sweeps over him as he steps into the cockpit. The screens come to life, casting blue and red glow all over as he steps into the Conn-pod. He sheds any reservations he has as the team helps him connect. You’re only a few feet away, stepping into the left side of the Conn-pod.
Jihoon’s world shifts to screens and canned voices in his headset as the shield of his helmet closes. It’s Seungkwan he hears over comms saying, “Engaging pilot to pilot connection protocol sequence.”
“Do the pilots always take over the LOCCENT Controller’s here?” you muse, just to Jihoon.
His lips twitch. “What can I say? Seungkwan knows I’m a control freak.”
“Engaging neural handshake in three… two… one…”
The world around him goes mute for a moment. Jihoon’s vision flashes white for a second. He feels you then, your thoughts and feelings becoming his. They’re not overwhelming though. He feels focus and determination from you with an undercurrent of ferocity. All of your memories and other feelings are there too, but they exist in the background. You’re a seasoned pilot, Jihoon doesn’t have to worry about you chasing the rabbit and falling down a hole of memories.
“Neural handshake holding and strong,” Seungkwan calls. “Initiating drop in three… two… one…”
Jihoon’s stomach flies into his throat as he falls away from the world. The world is nothing but freefall for a few seconds. He feels the thrill that shoots through you and smiles - he can’t help it. Bending at the knee, he braces for impact. You do the same, and the cockpit lands on the jaeger’s mainframe with a metallic clang.
“Calibrating right hemisphere,” Jihoon announces, feeling the machine start to power to life. “Calibrated.”
You repeat on the left side, the full machine powered on and ready with both hemispheres locked in.
“Storm Breaker ready to pursue,” Jihoon says. He looks up at the screen where Fang Striker is engaging the kaiju. Outside of Storm Breaker, he might feel his heart race with panic. Solar Saber is overturned and he has no idea if the pilots are inside of it as it takes on water. “Two miles out from contact.”
“Pursue.”
Your first step as a team is perfect. Fluid. Jihoon knew it would be. He hates to admit that he was wrong, but he knows it is. There is a thread of satisfaction bleeding over from you as Storm Breaker charges into the ocean, water rising rapidly around the waist.
Ocean water slams against Storm Breaker’s chest as you charge toward the fighting. Fang Striker’s comms are patched in, but Wylie and Chan are silent as they rip at the kaiju, pulling at one of its wings that it unfolded from its back. Fang Striker looks tiny against the hulking mass of the monster, but its team is doing what it does best, savaging the creature a little at a time.
“Storm Breaker half a mile out,” you announce, voice like steel. “Ready to engage.”
“Engage at your discretion.”
“Storm Breaker,” Chan says over comms. “Try and restrain this motherfucker. We’ve got a loose plate in its armor to exploit but it keeps shaking us off.”
“Heard.”
As if hearing Chan, the kaiju flings Fang Striker off. Fang Striker’s red body crashes into the ocean, Wylie cursing the kaiju straight to hell and about fifty other foul places.
Storm Breaker engages, both you and Jihoon plunging into the fight. The kaiju swipes at you but you both duck together, dodging the swing as you punch hard from the left in tandem. You knock it hard, it’s head snapping to the side. As a team, you use the opening to wrap the right arm around the kaiju’s neck, squeezing it toward Storm Breaker’s chest in a headlock.
Stabilizers and locks click into place. He grits his teeth, as though feeling the actual strength it takes as the kaiju roars and claws at Storm Breaker, trying to free itself from the headlock. Together, you put the left arm around it, adding to the force to keep the kaiju from slipping from your grip.
Clawed blows hammer down on Storm Breaker. Neither of you gives way, tightening your grip on the creature and ignoring the way the talons scratch against the hull. Storm Breaker is built to withstand, and neither one of you flinches as furious blows rain down on you, fists hammering.
“It looks like that kaiju is playing you like a bongo,” Wylie’s voice comes over comms. “Hey Woozi, do you feel like it’s composing one of those songs you like?”
“Oh sure,” he shoots back. “Take your time, Wylie. It’s not like it’s trying to crack us like an egg.”
“Ugh,” you sigh. “Don’t talk about food. I didn’t eat breakfast. Hey Seungkwan, can you ask Joshua to save me some hash browns? He’s always at the cafeteria first.”
Jihoon rolls his eyes. “You’re all insane. Any day now, Fang Striker.”
Fang Striker appears from the sky like a creature from hell, a red streak of death as it falls. They land on the kaiju’s back, the force of the landing vibrating through Storm Breaker’s frame. The kaiju tries to twist in Storm Breaker’s arms, but you and Jihoon tighten even further. Fang Striker’s sword glints in the sunlight as it unsheathes.
“Don’t stab us,” you say at the same exact time that Jihoon has the thought.
They almost do. Fang Striker buries the sword through the back of the kaiju, the tip of the blade peaking through its chest, almost scraping against Storm Breaker’s stomach. The monster thrashes wildly for a few minutes, clawing at Storm Breaker’s hull. Fang Striker hits the release on their sword, leaving it embedded in the kaiju’s back to stand and fire into the kaiju with plasma cannons.
Jihoon feels the tremor of the shots land. There’s a final kick from the kaiju before it slumps, putting all of its deadweight on Storm Breaker. In unison, you and Jihoon throw the creature off of you. It lands with a crash, water surging around the creature as its weight drags it down before buoyancy pulls it back up.
Storm Breaker straightens, standing in the open water with a battered Fang Striker a couple of yards away. Panting, Jihoon looks across the Conn-pod where you’re already looking at him, shield on your helmet up as you grin at him. There is unguarded happiness there, nearly as bright as the sun that glints off Storm Breaker’s helm.
“So,” you ask the group. “Can we get hashbrowns now?”
Jihoon realizes at that moment he doesn’t dislike you at all.
-
“Would you slow down?” Jihoon asks, setting his tray down next to you roughly. He plops in the seat next to you, giving you a severe side eye. “You’re going to throw up the second you hit the treadmill eating that fast.”
“I want to get more bacon before they run out,” you whine. “They won’t make more once it’s gone.”
Uncovering the top of his tray, Jihoon reveals a heap of bacon slices. You oggle as he sets it between the two of you, shaking his head and scoffing. “Yeah,” he huffs. “I know. I brought more, so slow down.”
Affection for your co-pilot warms you. The affection is certainly one-sided, but you don’t mind. In the four months you’ve been co-piloting with Jihoon, he still hasn’t opened up to you.
Despite having made the drop five times together, Jihoon still brings almost nothing to the drift. You catch pieces of him, tiny snippets of memories or emotions or thoughts as you become one. You slowly use them to fit together the pieces of the Jihoon puzzle you’ve been working on every day.
It helps that you live in such close proximity, too. Jihoon’s habits speak far more for them than his words ever could. Like the way he wakes up at the same exact time every day and tries to be asleep at the same time every night, or the way he meticulously cleans your shared living space every Sunday, or the way he starts every sparring session with the same eight-stretch sequence.
He still doesn’t talk about him in your time slotted for getting to know one another. It’s not therapy exactly, but every pilot team has designated time daily to talk things out. To work through things that are bothering them, or to talk about themselves. The more pilots know one another, the better they fight.
You know virtually nothing about Jihoon. He doesn’t talk about himself during sessions, so you talk for him. You tell him about your childhood, about piloting with your mom, about how much you miss Maya. He eventually starts asking questions. Provides responses.
“We’re on the drop schedule tomorrow,” Jihoon notes, flicking through his tablet on the table next to him. “It’s graveyard shift. Do you want me to ask Mingyu and Wonwoo to switch to the day shift?”
“Nah, I’ll be fine.”
He gives you a critical look. “You’re awful in the mornings.”
“Not when I’m fighting.” You snatch more bacon. “Would you rather me or Mingyu in a jaeger at two in the morning?”
“Point taken.” Both of you know the only person more miserable than you in the morning is Kim Mingyu. Jihoon nudges you with your elbow and gestures to the bacon. “Finish up. We have to workout soon.”
“Ugh.”
He smirks. “Cardio day.”
“Ji, no.”
He ignores the nickname. “So much running.”
Now you know he’s doing it on purpose. There are few things in your training schedule that bring Jihoon joy like torturing you during scheduled workouts. He had started slating them each day, determined to harden your conditioning despite the fact that you’re already in decent shape.
Decent is a word in his vocabulary. He only expects perfection and even then, you’re pretty sure it’s unattainable. Still, you finish your breakfast and let him lead you to the gym, peppering him with whining and protests the entire way. He ignores them with a placid smile, hands linked behind his back as he walks.
When you get to the gym, there are other pilots and workers using their free time to exercise. There’s only a single treadmill open, which Jihoon gets on easily. You start to edge your way toward yoga mats with the intention of not working out at all when he leans over to look at the time on the treadmill next to him.
“You’ve been on it for an hour,” he grunts at some boy who looks like a cadet. “Off you go.”
The cadet scrambles off, almost forgetting to turn the treadmill off before he does. He bows in respect before shooting off like a frightened school of fish. Jihoon turns to you, grinning as he pats the machine. “For you.”
“Thanks,” you deadpan. “Just what I’ve always wanted.”
Jihoon’s grin only grows when you step onto the treadmill as he leans over the rail and turns it on, pressing the incline and speed buttons until you’re walking at a warm up pace. Which, for Jihoon, is a solid jog.
As you jog, you fish out headphones from your pocket. You pop them in your ears, careful not to trip as the sound of classical fills your ears. You’ve taken to using Jihoon’s playlists, despite originally making fun of him for it. You find that it distracts you more than you thought it would, and it helps that you feel like a character in a fantasy movie running to an epic soundtrack.
You’ve adopted a lot of things that Jihoon does. It happens naturally, especially the more you drift. You find yourself putting on Mozart instead of Tchaikovsky or taking your coffee black on accident or scolding others in the training room for not being precise and perfect.
Ghost Drifting is what some call it. You don’t think you’re quite there yet, being that Jihoon still hides half of himself away. But sometimes, even outside of the drift, you feel him in your mind like a phantom presence.
After your workout, you go through the same day you have everyday: meditate back to back, sparring, and your talking session, which mostly consists of you both sitting next to one another looking over your drop footage and noting areas for improvement.
Jihoon’s shoulder is pressed against yours, his eyes focused on the tablet in your hands, tracking the slowed down movement of the video. He taps the screen, pointing to the right side of the jaeger that he pilots. “I was a bit slow here.”
“It’s not your reaction time, you’d never punch that slow. That’s the arm that took damage two fights ago against Razorbill. Let’s talk to the J-Tech team and see if there’s a delay in the receptor. It might be a split second off.” He snorts and you glance sidelong at him. “What?”
“You don’t think I’d punch slow?”
“No.”
Jihoon raises his brows. You can feel his surprise at your seriousness to his question. He obviously expected you to turn it into a harmless jab, but you mean it when you say, “Your reaction time has been perfect for the last sixteen drops you’ve made. If there’s a delay, it’s the machinery. Not you.”
He looks away from you, nodding once. The tips of his ears are red and he mutters, “Thanks.”
Instead of pressing the matter like you want to, you smile and hit play again, both of you focusing on the screen once more to talk through the remainder of your allotted bonding time.
In your room, Jihoon turns on the speakers, the sound of Pas de Deux from the Nutcracker floods the room. You pause by the wardrobe where you’re shucking your boots off, gazing at Jihoon as he moves into the kitchen silently, taking out two mugs, a box of peppermint tea and a kettle.
He doesn’t feel your eyes on him, going about making tea for the both of you. He hums along to the song - you don’t know when he became so familiar with it, his movements comfortable. Practiced. Relaxed. A swell of affection overtakes you, realizing you don’t know when he started making you tea. Or putting on Tchaikovsky for you. Or not biting at you every two seconds.
Sensing your gaze, he turns to look at you over his shoulder. You turn away from him, busying yourself with your boots to spare him from making an excuse as to why he’s making you tea. Because you’ll know he’ll give one, provide you with some sort of excuse that it isn’t a favor or because you’re friends, but rather something like the tea bags are too large for one or I have to boil the water anyway.
When you’re done changing for bed, he’s standing next to you, mug extended. He doesn’t look at you, instead finding interest in the cameras outside the Shatterdome. You take the mug from him and say nothing, knowing he’d rather you not thank him.
Mug in hand, you climb carefully into the top bunk, crossing your legs as you nestle the mug next to you, pulling out your tablet to read. He gets into bed without a word, both of you existing in comfortable silence, just like Jihoon prefers.
-
Alarms wrench you from sleep. You’re thrown forward in your bed, red flashing on the TV as the kaiju alert system wails. You wipe sleep from your face as you haul yourself over the edge of the bunk, landing next to Jihoon who is pulling off his sweats in favor of cargo pants as quickly as he can. You feel dizzy and off balance as you do the same, shoving one foot in your pants and hopping on one leg as your foot catches while trying to shove in the other.
Jihoon grabs you by the elbow, holding you steady as you shove your foot through the leg of your pants and shoot him a grateful look. He nods, letting you go to finish zipping his pants and digging around for a shirt. He can’t seem to find one, cursing under his breath as he roots around. You toss him one of yours instead, grabbing a pair of socks and throwing yourself onto his bunk to yank them on, quickly followed by shoes.
“Fuck,” Jihoon mutters as he looks up at the screen, the red painting him in hellish light. “We’ve got a Cat-4. They’re dropping Emperor’s Mandate and Fang Striker with us.”
“Dino and Wylie weren’t even on rotation.”
“They’re not making the same mistake they did with Solar Saber.” He pulls out a tablet, squinting against the glow. “We're the last line of defense. Hao and Jun will take point with Fang Striker.”
“Got it. Let’s go.”
You take off at a jog, easily keeping pace with one another as you go. There are jaeger teams moving about the building getting ready, the alarms still sounding as you navigate to the jaeger bay. Your team is already there and ready to fit you into Drivesuits, sliding each piece of armor on with practiced care.
Jihoon catches your eyes from where he stands across from you, letting a team member slide his hand into a metal glove. His eyes are dark as the stormy sea outside, a bottomless well that you can’t seem to dive down into, but want to. His lips twitch a little and he gives you a nod, which you’ve come to understand is Jihoon for I trust you.
Screens blink to life as you enter the Conn-Pod. Closing the front shield of your helmet, you immediately turn on open comms, listening as the Marshall and LOCCENT Controller on duty - you think it’s Nainsi - talking Minghao and Junhui through their neural handshake.
The spine of your Drivesuit connects to the Conn-pod, your heads up display coming to life. You feel the metal whirring and clicking into place, rotating your shoulders and flexing your fingers as your jaeger team finishes connecting Jihoon to the Conn-pod before exciting and shutting the door firmly.
“Storm Breaker ready to drop,” Jihoon announces.
“Engaging pilot to pilot connection protocol sequence,” Nainsi answers. “Engaging neural handshake in three… two… one…”
It’s like jumping off a cliff into freezing cold water. You feel the flash of cold, vision going white for a split second before you feel Jihoon’s calm flow through you. He’s steady like an icy river, his thoughts, feelings and emotions hidden down in their dark depth where they can’t bother either of you.
You’re like rapids, rushing thoughts and feelings, pouring everything through the drift at him. He takes it in stride, used to the white-capped rush of information he gets from you each time you connect. Jihoon adjusts easily, already hitting buttons on his screen as images from your day flash through your mind - including you watching him make you tea in the kitchen.
Jihoon says nothing about that. He says nothing about the gentle wave of your embarrassment either as Nainsi says, “Neural handshake strong and holding.”
Chan’s voice crackles through comms. “Fang Striker on standby for neural handshake.”
“Copy. Storm Breaker prepare for drop in three… two… one.”
Dropping feels like falling through the core of the earth. For a few moments, it’s a flightless feeling as you fall through the Shatterdome. Then you land, knees absorbing impact as the head of the jaeger falls into the neck socket, locking in.
“Calibrating right side,” Jihoon announces. “Calibrated.”
“Calibrating left side. Calibrated. Ready to engage.”
Nainsi confirms calibration and directs, “Storm Breaker, take north point defense two miles from the shoreline. Hold that line. Fang Striker, engaging in pilot to pilot connection protocol sequence in three… two… one.”
You tune out the rest of Fang Striker’s drop as you and Jihoon behind to charge into the bay. The windshield in front of you immediately froths with sea salt and wind, battering down on the jaeger as the night sea surges against Storm Breaker’s legs. You cut through the water like a knife, carving your way toward the defense line as the jumphawk team flies into place.
“Five minutes until surface breach.”
“Oh! Hi, Vernon,” you chirp.
“Sup?”
“Would kill for a coffee right now. And like, a bagel. Or hashbrowns?”
Vernon groans. “Mood.”
Jihoon snorts but says nothing. Minghao’s voice comes over the comms, soft and cool. “Blue, everytime I drop with you you’re talking about food.”
“Have you considered that Ji doesn't feed me?”
“So it’s Ji now, huh?”
“Don’t get her started,” Jihoon grunts at Minghao’s teasing. “One mile out from the line of defense.”
Chan joins the conversation, voice chipper. “Fang Striker ready to pursue. Also, good morning everyone!”
Everyone groans in misery collectively instead of greeting him back. Wylie’s voice cracks like a whip as she spits out, “Be nice to him.”
Everyone greets Chan after that. Jihoon shakes his head, amused. “Fang Striker, escort Emperor’s Mandate to engage. Four minutes until surface breach.”
Black ocean ripples outward in front of Storm Breaker as you move. You near the defense line, the city lights like a sea of stars at Storm Breaker’s back. Air support circles overhead, monitoring kaiju activity and helping with positioning. You see the spotlights glinting on the surface, waiting for a kaiju to surface.
To the east of your position, Fang Striker and Emperor’s Mandate cut through the water. Fang Striker’s red paint is violent against the night, but her build is small next to the towering white fury of Minghao and Junhui’s jaeger.
“Storm Breaker in position,” Jihoon calls. You both stop moving, your jaeger coming to a standstill as the water sloshes around your waist.
“Standby, Storm Breaker. Kaiju breach in one minute.”
“Emperor’s Mandate and Fang Striker in position. Ready to engage.”
“Engage at your discretion.”
Comms go silent as the strike team waits for the kaiju to appear. It’s the calm before the storm, the silence pregnant with tension. You feel a tentative brush of Jihoon’s thoughts against you. You turn and glance at him, surprised.
Jihoon is watching you with a stormy expression, thoughtful. “You thinking about letting me in that big ass head of yours?” You tease, just in your personal comms.
He smirks and shakes his head, breaking eye contact to look out the front of Storm Breakers cockpit. “Not a chance.”
It’s a lie. You know it's a lie because you feel it is as sure as you feel your own glittering satisfaction that he’s thinking about it. That Jihoon is considering opening the door for you, even a fraction.
Your satisfaction only lasts a second as the kaiju breaches the surface in front of Emperor’s Mandate and Fang Striker. You watch in strained silence as the jumphawk team begins reporting what they can about the makeup of the kaiju.
Emperor’s Mandate engages immediately, their metal saber chain shooting from the right arm and punching through the shoulder of the kaiju. An electromagnetic pulse goes down the chain and it goes taught like a sword as Junhui slices upward, attempting to sever the kaiju’s arm.
The kaiju lands a hard punch to Emperor’s Mandate in the middle, sending them backward into the ocean as the chain-turned-sword pulls out as they fall. Fang Striker is there before the kaiju can attack again, charging and tackling the kaiju at the waist. She’s not built for heavy fighting, but Chan and Wylie are vicious, clawing at the kaiju with their metal claws.
“Fang Striker, roll!” Minghao orders. Fang Stricker does, using the kaiju as weight to rock themselves over and under the creature, vanishing beneath the water’s surface as Emperor’s Mandate lands a punch to the kaiju’s back with a plasmacaster, turning the night blue as the sparks flare. “Push and we’ll pull.”
Salt spray mists the windshield as you and Jihoon watch in silence. The kaiju is a massive, hulking beast with spikes down its spine and a nasty club tail that catches Fang Striker in the knees, taking her down. The two jaeger teams work in flawless tandem, punching when the other ducks, tackling with the other falls.
In a way, it’s beautiful to watch the fury of what a jaeger can do. Your lips twitch upward as the fight starts to go their way, Emperor’s Mandate severing the leg of the monster as Fang Striker pounces on it, sinking both clawed hands into its shoulder blades and tearing through its hide.
“Storm Breaker-” Vernon’s panicked voice gets cut off as your world turns upside down.
You feel yourself slam against the restraints of the Conn-pod connecting you to the jaeger. A surprised shriek escapes you as you flip head-over-feet in Storm Breaker, crashing into the ocean with a violent slam. A kaiju raises itself from the water, rearing its head like a cobra as it shrieks, the sound shaking the entire hull.
“What the fuck?” Jihoon screams over comms. Storm Breaker rolls as the kaiju strikes like a snake, barely missing you as it hits empty water. “Where the fuck did that come from?”
“There was no reading!” Vernon yells back. “The signature appeared a half second before it attacked like it had some sort of stealth mode!”
“Kaiju don’t have fucking stealth mode, Vernon!”
“Maybe it got an iOS update man, I don’t know!”
There’s no time to care about why or how a kaiju isn’t appearing on the reporting team’s screen. Whatever level it is, it’s fast. You and Jihoon get to your feet just as it strikes again, fangs striking at the windshield. It doesn’t crack, but the sound of kaiju bone against the glass isn’t promising.
Storm Breaker stumbles back a few steps before regaining footing. You both strike with your right fist, slamming into the neck area of the beast as it winds up to strike again. It looks like a massive cobra, coils and coils of kaiju body gathering each time it tries.
A shudder vibrates through the jaeger as the punch lands, sending the kaiju back several hundred yards. You don’t give it a moment to recover, both of you charging as you equip short swords perfect for close-combat fighting and slicing.
“I think it’s too fast to pick up a reading,” you shout over comms. “It moves so quickly!”
Fighting is a careful rhythm. You and Jihoon find it immediately, tuning out the sound of the other fight as you zero in on your target. It doesn’t matter that the kaiju took you by surprise, it doesn’t matter that Jihoon still hasn’t let you in, it doesn’t matter that somewhere, you have other friends in just as much danger.
What matters is this. The feeling of rage that flows from Jihoon - or maybe it’s you - as you both savagely plunge a sword in the serpent body of your enemy. What matters is the way you and Jihoon flow, two rivers with the same curves and dips, sliding around the kaiju as you strike again, spraying ichor into the sea.
Storm Breaker’s sword extends from the right arm, reflecting the city lights briefly before you cut sideways. The blade slides clean through like a knife through paper. You and Jihoon both scream savagely in unison as the head flies separate from the body, sailing in the air for a moment before crashing into the surface as blood spurts from the main body.
It flails for a moment longer before crashing under ocean froth and water. Victory surges through you and you look across the Conn-pod where Jihoon is grinning at you, stars in his eyes. You feel a moment of elation, laughter bubbling to your lips as Nainsi recalls you to the Dome, Emperor’s Mandate and Fang Striker standing victorious.
“That’s kill number six?” Jihoon asks, voice delighted. “We’re on a fucking roll.”
“I guess I’m not so bad a co-pilot after all, right?” He rolls his eyes but you get the feeling the tips of his ears have turned red. “Come on, Ji. Tell me I’m a good co-pilot.”
“No way.”
“Come onnnn.”
He levels a look at you, dark eyes churning. He licks his lips, opening and closing his mouth before he finally murmurs, “Can I show you instead?”
The left foot of Storm Breaker is yanked from under you. You go down screaming, feeling the impact of the seafloor as you go down in the shallows hard. Pain shoots up your left arm as you slam against the restraints keeping you attached to the Conn-pod. Lights flash in your heads up display and a sensor starts going off, the left arm of the jaeger going dead as it loses connection.
Jihoon is screaming your name over comms as you grit your teeth, and gather your bearings. You suck in a sharp breath as you both scramble to get Storm Breaker on her feet. “Left arms gone cold,” Jihoon yells over comms. You manage to get Storm Breaker to her feet as you both throw out your right arm, bracing for impact as the kaiju’s head strikes again. “It grew back two fucking heads!”
“Fang Striker pursuing!” It’s Chan voice over the comms. “Three miles out from contact.”
One of the heads strikes at the helm again, knocking into Storm Breaker hard. Your world rocks as you shove with the full force of the right side of the jaeger, thrusters turning on as you launch the kaiju and its twin heads backward.
“How the fuck do we kill this thing?” you screech, charging toward the creature as it slides through the water, coiling to strike again. “If we cut off its head again, it’s just going to grow another.”
“Stab it through the head? I don’t fucking know!”
Snatches of panic and anger and concern seize you for a split second, it feels like your own but you realize it’s not, Jihoon’s feelings bleeding into you like a fresh wound as you strike at the kaiju again. Its tail loops around the left leg again and Jihoon’s worry spikes, so raw and unfamiliar that when he lifts his foot, you don’t lift yours.
Storm Breaker stalls, filled with mechanic screeching as the two of you clash in the drift in a moment of indecision. A storm of emotions batters down on you. Your lungs squeeze as you feel yourself torn away from the fight and into Jihoon’s memories, each one flitting by so fast you can barely resonate with them.
A little boy bullied by bigger kids. A woman being torn out of a home screaming in the hand of a kaiju. The sound of Mozart drowning out the screams of destruction. Young Jihoon crying in his room alone, nursing bruised ribs and knees. Teenage Jihoon fighting back. A man named Haneul that has seen all of Jihoon’s scars.
“... out of alignment!”
Words crash through you as you feel a tremor go through Storm Breaker. Jihoon’s thoughts are like a hurricane tearing at your foundation.
Hatred when he meets you for the first time. Pride when he makes his first successful drop. Grief when Haneul retired. Resentment when he’s reassigned to a new pilot.
Jihoon screams your name but you are drowning in him. Jihoon’s emotional dam has broken and years worth of who he is comes out in a torrent.
Jihoon joins the pilot program because he wants to get away from the home. The smell of books and oil lanterns. Greasy fingers and fumes. A blue mat rushing up to meet him as he falls.
“Emperor’s Mandate two miles out. Preparing to engage!”
Bitter coffee. Celebrating Haneul’s birthday. The sting of Chan biting him mid spar. Pretending he didn’t hate his childhood. Hiding the scared little boy behind a controlled exterior.
“She’s chasing the rabbit!”
Chasing the rabbit. You hear the word and vaguely realize you’ve fallen down the rabbit hole of Jihoon’s memories and emotions, completely unused to them in a space where you’re connected intimately. You try to gather your bearings, shutting down the images flashing across your mind that don’t belong to you as Storm Breaker gets rocked again.
“Shit,” Jihoon swears. “Blue, come on. Come back to me. I’m sorry. Don’t chase my memories!”
A kite against a blue sky. Two paper boats on a lake. Your smile as you hang upside down off the bunk bed. Soonyoung giving Jihoon a birthday cake. Wylie in a hospital bed. Jeonghan and Joshua accepting pilots of the year.
“I’m sorry,” Jihoon whispers, both in your mind and outloud. “Come back.”
You can do this. You can withstand the storm of Jihoon’s consciousness. You shake him out of your head, sorting out your thoughts and his. It’s nearly impossible to understand where you end and he begins, but you manage to hold back the wake of his uncontrolled consciousness.
Blinking, you come back to the present. There are lights and warnings going off as Storm Breaker takes another strike from the kaiju. Fang Striker is taking on its other head, the kaiju splitting focus between two jaeger teams as it tries to split open the top of your jaeger. Wylie and Chan are yelling in comms and Emperor’s Mandate is in pursuit to help you disengage.
The left arm of your jaeger is still cold, totally disconnected from the rest of the machinery. You run through a list of fighting options with one arm down. The right side of the jaeger is fitted with a sword, explosive and a plasma caster in the first of the hand. But the jaeger overall-
“Light it up,” you tell Jihoon. His relief crashing into you like a tidal wave. He understands what you want to do immediately. You feel his agreement rather than see it as you both start to tap controls on your control panels. “Fang Striker, prepare for lighting strike!”
“Fry this motherfucker!” Wylie screams. “I fucking hate snakes!”
The nuclear reactor at the core of your jaeger starts to charge. From the top down, your jaeger begins to power down, lights flickering out and screens going dead. Your heart hammers as the kaiju slams into the head of the jaeger over and over again, trying to crack the helm wide open. Storm Breaker takes the savage blows as all but the nuclear core shuts off.
A low hum begins to sound at the heart of the machine. You feel the vibration tingle in your spine as all of the energy flow focuses in the center of the jaeger, slowly charging and pulling electricity from everywhere else. It’s a slow process, the kaiju beating down on you as the core winds up.
“Fuck,” Jihoon swears at a particularly harsh strike. “This fucking bitch!”
“We’ve got it,” you tell him. You look across the Conn-pod at him, his face pale behind the shield of his helmet. “She’s not going to break, Ji.”
You feel your words resonate in him. His affection is startling. He hides nothing from you now, every thought he’s ever had of you, every moment his eyes lingered on you too, every second he realized he didn’t dislike you at all - it’s all there for you to see. His soul laid bare.
“She’s ready!” Your smile is like the sun. “Light her up!”
Jihoon hits a button on his panel and the air turns to static. A ripple of energy passes through you, only lasting a split second before a bolt of white lightning explodes from the center of the jaeger. The world turns white, forcing you to shield your eyes as you hear the crack of deafening thunder.
Ears ringing, you lower your hand as the light fades, blue sparks of electricity zapping across the ocean in a mile-wide radius. Smoking, the kaiju falls backwards, ocean spraying up on either side as it hits the surface of the sea. You can barely hear Fang Striker over the sound of the high-pitched whine in your ears.
You wait, but the kaiju doesn’t rise again. The jumphawk team circles above, waiting for another kaiju signature, but none comes.
Sagging in your Conn-pod, you glance over at Jihoon. “Does that count as one or two kills? I’m so fucking over monster fighting today. I want a goddamn grilled cheese.”
-
Jihoon is a wreck. Not only does he visibly hover near your medical bed as the attending medic tends to your arm, ensuring it’s not broken, but you can still feel him like he’s attached to you in the drift. His concern is touching, but there’s also anger there. Not at you but at himself, boiling under the surface of his newfound worry.
“So she’ll be okay?” he clarifies again, looking at the doctor with a hard stare. The man tending to your arm looks nervous under the sharp gaze of a jaeger pilot. “You’re sure it’s not broken? It better not be broken.”
“Jihoon,” you say gently. He crosses his arms over his chest, not taking his eyes off the doctor as he stares him down. “I’m fine. It’s just some bruising.”
“Just some bruising. Your arm practically fell off.”
“It did not. Let the doctor finish, Ji.”
He softens, turning to sit on an empty cot as he sulks. You watch him with muted amusement. His bottom lip juts out slightly, put out by you not letting him baby you. Cute, you think.
Thankfully, the arm isn’t damaged. You’d bruised it pretty severely when Storm Breaker went down and you slammed against your restraints, but otherwise you’re unharmed. Some pain meds, ice and rest should do the trick, so you and Jihoon leave the medical bay with the doctor’s advice in hand and Jihoon muttering under his breath.
Back in your room, Jihoon sits you on his bottom bunk to examine the arm himself, holding you carefully as though he can break you at any moment. You let him have this, watching as his eyebrows crease and mouth twists while he rotates your arm delicately.
He has pretty hands. You’ve always thought so, but now you watch his slender fingers brush over your sore arm with care, feeling a shiver threaten the base of your spine.
“You should ask for a reassignment.” Jihoon’s words land like a brick. You look up at him, eyes flashing with confusion. “I nearly killed you today. It was unprofessional and shameful as your co-pilot to knock you out of alignment like that. You don’t deserve that.”
“It happens, Jihoon. Fighting in a jaeger isn’t always perfect.”
“Well I am. And today I wasn’t. Request a new pilot, the Marshall will understand. People don’t last with me, it’ll be no risk to you.”
“I’m not requesting a new pilot. You’re who I want to drift with.”
He starts to pace. “Why? I’m obviously still that scared little boy who used to hide in his room alone.”
Even without having felt his emotions in the drift, Jihoon makes so much more sense to you now. You reach out to him, taking him by the arms to stop his pacing. He won’t look at you, averting his eyes elsewhere. Your heart squeezes knowing that the reason Jihoon kept you out is because he didn’t want you to see who he was before he was the controlled, perfect jaeger pilot.
“You’re not, Jihoon.” You squeeze his arm to emphasize your words. “But even if you were, I trust that little boy too. He was empathetic and kind.” Jihoon glances at you, unsure. “Don’t run away from me now that you’ve let me in. I’ve seen you and I still want you. Unless you don’t want me.”
“Of course I do.”
“It’s hard to tell with you, you know?”
His gaze drops down to your mouth. “I’ll show you, then.”
Without another word, Jihoon grabs you by the waist and pulls you to him fully. Your arms slip around his neck, holding onto him for balance as he crashes his mouth to yours. His lips are warm and soft in contrast to the ferocity he kisses you with, fingers digging into your hips, mouth hungry.
You meet him with equal fervor, fingers tangling in the long hair at the nape of his neck. He grunts when your nails scratch against his scalp, biting into your lower lip. He presses his tongue to the seam of your mouth and you let him in, sighing as his tongue brushes against yours, eager to taste you.
Kissing Jihoon is like standing in the eye of a storm. He’s brutal and calm, sharp and soft. His heart beats against yours, his chest heaving when he pulls away from your mouth to press wet kisses to the shape of your jaw and down your throat.
One of Jihoon’s hands slides up your back, fingers dancing along your spine until he reaches the base of your neck. He grabs you firmly, pulling your head back to give him better access to the softness of your throat. You let out a breathy sound and he groans low in his throat.
“Don’t make that sound,” he whispers, biting your neck gently and chasing the sting with his tongue. “I’ll fucking crumble.”
“So crumble.”
“Fuck.”
Jihoon starts pushing you backward, your steps a tangle of feet. It might be the most uncoordinated the two of you have ever been, caught up in the heat of each other’s mouths as he kisses you feverishly again. It’s messy and spit-slicked, making you light headed. Your knees hit his bottom bunk and you crash backward, Jihoon on top of you.
Your hands seek the warmth of his skin, sliding under the hem of his shirt over his flexing stomach to his firm chest. He lets you rake your nails across him as he settles on top of you, his hands planted on either side of your head and a knee slotted between your legs.
Having him this close is everything. Months of not being able to have him entirely or the way you want has made you ravenous for him. You pull at his shirt, nipping at his lip and whining. He laughs darkly, leaning up from you to grab the back of his shirt and pull it up over his head.
He lets you do what you want, content to let you run your fingers over the ridges of his stomach, the narrow shape of his waist, the firmness of his chest. He dives back down to attach his mouth to your collarbone, pulling the neckline of your shirt out of the way for access.
“Just take it off,” you complain, shivering as he continues his assault.
“Mmmf - difficult.”
This is not the composed Jihoon you’re used to. This is the raw, unedited version of him you’ve been begging to see. This is the storm letting loose because he knows you can take it - want to take it.
Jihoon does get tired of your shirt, growling as he grabs it firmly and tears it up and over your head. You laugh as he does, loving the way he scowls and presses you back down, biting your jaw as he does. He palms your tits over your bra, pinching your nipples through the fabric. You squeal and arch into him, head pressing into the mattress.
“Don’t laugh at me,” he huffs, mouth trailing butterfly-soft kisses toward your chest.
“Sensitive?” you jest, dropping a hand between your bodies to press against the front of his pants. He hisses, hips twitching as you press against his cock. You grin wickedly as he pants raggedly against your skin, letting you squeeze him. “Yeah, you are.”
Jihoon drags his knee up the bed, pressing between your legs. A bolt of pleasure surges through you and you whimper, making him smirk against your chest. “What was that?”
“Nothing.”
He drops a hand down to your waist, squeezing. “Didn’t sound like nothing. Come on,” he urges. “You know you want to.”
So you do. You roll your hips forward, pressing your clothed cunt against his thigh. The layers of clothes block too much of the sensation and you press harder, desperate for stimulation. A whine drips from your mouth as you grow frustrated. You feel the curve of Jihoon’s smile against the curve of your left breast as he places a wet kiss there.
“Having a hard time?”
“Jihoon.”
One hand stays fixed on your hips, urging you to continue to grind into him despite it not being enough. The other slides up your front, his fingers light as feathers. He hooks a finger in the cup of your bra and pulls downward. He drags his mouth downward, giving your nipple a playful flick with his tongue.
“Jihoon.”
He hums thoughtfully, circling your pert bud with his tongue. A tremor goes through you and you squeeze your eyes shut. He closes his mouth on you and sucks gently, making you gasp. You continue to roll your hips into him as he scrapes his teeth against you gently.
Cool air hits your spit-slicked chest as he kisses sloppily over to your other breast, repeating his ministrations. It feels so good you feel like you’re going to lose your mind. His skin is hot against yours and you’re desperate to feel more of him, hands pulling at his shoulders as he sucks wet marks into your chest.
“More,” you whisper. “God, please more.”
He knows what you mean when you say more because of course he does. He rids you of your bra entirely, throwing it somewhere else in the room. He works the buttons on your pants next, deft fingers moving quickly before tugging them down your thighs. He lets you pull his cargos down and throw them, but it’s as far as you get before he’s lavishing attention to your tits again.
“Try now,” he pants.
His knee is pressed right against the apex of your thighs. You don’t care that he can feel the damp cloth against his skin. You slow grind on his knee, feeling the pressure infinitely better with just a thin layer of underwear between you. A sigh of relief escapes you and he grunts, pleased as you keep going, thighs shaking.
You could drown in him and not care. He smells like spearmint and soap, his hair soft as silk as it slides between your fingers. He gives a sound of approval everytime you card your hands through his hair, especially when he gives you a sharp bite and you tug.
A tingle settles in the depth of your stomach. You feel like you could almost come this way, getting off with just his leg between your thighs and his mouth sucking greedily at your tits. You feel yourself tighten, hips pressing further but it’s not quite enough.
He reads you like a book. Jihoon slides his knee back and replaces it with his hand, fingers delicately pressing against your clit. It makes you see stars, going rigid in his grasp as he gently circles it a few times before dragging his fingers back down to press at your core through your underwear.
“So god damn wet,” he lets go of your nipple with a pop. He hooks a finger through your underwear and pulls them to the side, his knuckles brushing your sticky folds. “So pretty for me.”
His compliment makes you shy. You hide your face behind your hands and he laughs darkly, letting you. He’s already seen all of you in the drift, but this is different. More personal. Real.
The press of a finger into your cunt is slow and maddening. You immediately want more, desperate for it. He doesn’t give it to you right away, taking his time as he busies his mouth with your chest and neck, content to finger fuck you at a leisurely pace.
When he hooks his finger and presses right into that soft spot, you seize up. He grins, finding exactly what he was looking for. His mouth catches yours again, a tangle of tongue and teeth as he presses another finger in. You squirm against the mattresses, pinned under his weight. The heel of his hand presses into your clit, adding pressure as he strokes your front walls rhythmically.
You’re greedy for him. You suck his tongue into your mouth and he moans, letting you do what you want. The wet squelch of his hand between your legs only spurs you on, his name dripping from your lips in a whine as you cling to him, feeling the start of your orgasm.
Jihoon knows it’s coming. His pace is more intent and he shuffles up the bed to get a better angle. Your toes curl and you writhe against the sheets, feeling the way they stick to your balmy skin as he works you closer and closer to an orgasm.
He presses a soft kiss under your ear, chaste compared to the mess he makes of your cunt. “Come on,” his voice is husky and gentle. “Let go for me.”
It’s his for me that sends you over the edge. Your legs squeeze around his hand but he keeps at it, pressing tender kisses to your collarbones as you twitch under his touch. Your orgasm starts to wane and turn into overstimulation, your panting turning into whimpering, nails digging into the back of his neck, unsure if you’re trying to push him away or keep him there.
Jihoon retracts his hand slowly. You feel the way you drip down the curve of your ass as you pant, staring up at the bottom of your bunk trying to gulp down air. He nudges his nose against your jaw, bringing your attention back to the present as his dark eyes look up at you.
Your voice comes out rough from use. “Want you.”
The corner of his mouth lifts and he nods, lifting himself off you to let you peel your underwear the rest of the way down as he works his briefs down his thighs. You let out a squeak when you look up to see him using the cum on his fingers to stroke himself, head tilted back a little, eyes heavy.
“What?” he murmurs, dropping his gaze down to you. His eyes are fucked out just from getting you off and it drives you insane, this visual of him blotchy with warmth, hair sticking to his forehead.
“You’re so hot,” you blurt and he pauses, raising a brow at you. “Don’t stop.”
“You like when I touch myself in front of you?” You nod, chewing on your lip as you stare. He grins and starts stroking himself slowly again, squeezing his flushed tip as he does, beads of precum dripping over the edge. “I’ll give you a show later. If I don’t fuck you in the next five minutes I will nut in my hand.”
“I mean, I wouldn’t hate it.”
“Oh? You want me to cum in my hand instead of that pretty pussy?” You purse your lips, staring back at him with a pout. “Didn’t think so.” He laughs and shuffles on his knees toward you, shaking his head and groaning when your legs fall open automatically for him, revealing the mess he’s made. “Can’t believe I made myself wait for this.”
“How stupid of you.”
Your stomach flutters when Jihoon lowers himself, cockhead pressing at your entrance. You ache for him - in more ways than one. Jihoon feels it too, hanging his head and letting his hair cascade around his face like a silvery halo as he slowly presses in.
His name falls from your mouth as you gasp, feeling the pressure of him as he sinks into your cunt slowly. You feel full and overwhelmed and perfect all at once, a myriad of feelings peppering your senses until he’s fully sheathed to the hilt.
Jihoon’s breathing is ragged for a moment as you clench around him, throbbing. He sucks in air sharply between his teeth, one hand going to your hip to press you into the mattress while the other lands next to your head, bearing his weight.
“Thank you for waiting for me.” You almost don’t hear him when he says it, his voice so soft. “When you didn’t have to.”
Your arms loop around his neck, pulling him closer. His nose brushes against yours and you feel your adoration for him grow. “Of course I did. You were meant for me.”
Prompted by your words, he nods and pulls his hips back slowly. The glide is easy with how wet you are. He thrusts back in with a hard snap, stealing your breath. The ability to string together coherent words vanishes as Jihoon sets a punctuated space.
“Fuck,” you whisper.
Fuck is right. Jihoon angles his hips perfectly, kissing your spot with each thrust with a deadly precision you’ve only seen in battle. Of course he fucks like he fights with absolute accuracy, driving you right toward an orgasm within a few minutes. Your fingers tangle in your hair, mouth pressed against his forehead where it rests against you.
His hand slides from your hips to your thigh, slipping under it and hiking it upward. It deepens the angle and you let out a loud sound, unable to catch your breath as sparks fly behind your eyelids.
“Holy shit, like that.” You’re a mess under him and he knows it, driving his hips faster as you continue to fall apart. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck.”
“Yeah?” he asks, almost taunting. “Gonna come like this?”
“Yes, please don’t stop.”
And he doesn’t. He keeps going, driving you to the edge until you’re coming around him with enough force to knock heads with him. He mumbles something that sound like ouch but you’re too far gone, squeezing the fucking life out of him as you come before going boneless.
Jihoon pulls out and flips you, your world spinning as you land face first in his pillows. They smell like him and you love it, sliding your hands up to grip at the pillows as he drags your knees up, ass toward him. Sweat slicks your back and you try to take in a few ragged breaths, turning your head to the side to watch him sidelong.
His dark eyes dip to your ass and he curses, shifting backward so that he can lean down, hands prying your thighs apart to make way for his tongue as it slides up your pussy.
“Oh shit,” you wheeze.
He practically purrs against you, tongue licking slowly back and forth. The grip on his pillows tightens, one of your hands shooting back to grab his hair, holding him to you. He laughs, the vibration going straight through you as he sucks your clit into his mouth, tongue flicking over it.
“I love when you pull my hair,” he admits, panting as he takes a breath.
His tongue dives back in, pressing against your clenching hole. It is maddening the way he works you with his mouth. You feel like you’re coasting to another high. He knows exactly what to do, knows when to slow down, knows when to speed up. Jihoon has had access to you for months and it shows, navigating your body like it’s second nature to him.
“I’m gonna come again.” It comes out as a whine, fingers twisting in his locks. “Shit.”
“So come again.”
You do. It’s not as hard as the first one but it’s just as good, your orgasm shivering through you. Warmth floods you and you bite into his pillow, muting the loud sound that spills from your lips.
Jihoon doesn’t give you a second to recover before he’s up on his knees and pushing back into you. His hand cracks across your ass and you let out a startled yelp, earning laughter from both of you. Spent and delirious, your hand finds purchase on his wrist, holding on to him as he fucks you fast and hard.
He lets go of where he holds your hip to lace your fingers instead, pressing your linked fingers against the curve of your ass as he drills his hips forward. Somehow the hand holding is more intimate, your throat screwing shut as Jihoon chases after his own high.
With a muted murmur of your name, he comes. His thrusts turn messy, each press of his hips against your ass met with a wet sound. You don’t even care about the slick running down your legs, absolutely spent and sweaty and tired and a little in love with the man behind you.
Slowly, he lets go of your hand. You drop your arm to the mattress, suddenly aware of the ache in your shoulder at the angle. Instead of pulling out, Jihoon leans forward, pressing his sweaty chest to your back, mouth brushing softly against your shoulders.
“Thank you.”
You’re so close to sleep that you barely register what he’s saying. “For what?”
“Withstanding the storm,” he laughs. “Withstanding me and waiting me out.”
“You’re worth it.”
“I hope so. I want to be.”
With care, he detangles himself from you. You make a pitiful sound and he tuts at you, rolling you over on your back so that he can see your face. His eyes swim with more affection than you’ve ever seen, kick starting your heart. You lift a hand and tuck his bangs behind his ear, fingers lingering to brush across his cheek.
“So I’m kind of like your Storm Breaker, right?”
He groans. “Don’t start.”
“What? You literally just said I withstood the storm or whatever.”
“Come on, we’re showering.”
“No way, I am not moving right now.”
“You are not sleeping covered in cum.”
“Ji,” you whine.
He grins and kisses your head, getting out of bed. “Come on then, storm breaker. Withstand me a little more.”
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#artist pick 💚#18+ listeners only 🎧#woozi x reader#lee jihoon x reader#i think i said (mostly) everything i wanted to say in the annotations#but idk you really scratched my brain with this one
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I've been reading all your jjk works and notice most of them having older mc. You wrote gojo with an older woman a lot, how about doing geto with middle age jujutsu teacher
Mc is not strong and barely considered a jujutsu sorcerer with her ct that basically numbs her or others senses like a potent anesthetic, its not really useful in a fight but the best thing for geto. With her ct she can numb his taste buds completely and he never has to taste the disgusting curse ball ever again. And plus mc is actually a really nice and caring teacher. The kind of teacher that uses different study methods to suit different students. The kind of teacher that immediately pick up when students are feeling down. But when geto expresses how much he is fond of her not just as her student she takes it as puppy love that he will soon get over it when he gets older and she only saw him as her student. She said something like "maybe when you graduate we can have this talk again" and geto took it to heart only for his beloved teacher getting purpose from other people(non-sorcer that you happened to help one time). Oh... How sad he is... He thought you would wait for him. And you would finally become part of his family with nanako and mimiko after all you help him raise both of them why are you leaving for some Monkey
I like this idea! But what about making the Mc a nurse instead???
(TW: Blood, implied murder, yandere)
You aren’t even a trained jujutsu sorcerer. You were scouted pretty late, far past high school. Because of that, you don’t have much potential, not that you were upset or anything. You’re still a high school nurse, but instead of treating students with the occasional flu, you treat teenagers who fight demons.
It’s pretty haunting to see, especially as an outsider of jujutsu. But you can’t do anything. You might be semi-important to the school, but you’re still just another rung on the ladder. So you keep your head down, as you always do.
It’s only natural you develop favorites. It’s a second year. Shoko Ieiri. She’s set to be your predecessor, having a much more powerful CT than you do. You don’t mind being in her shadow. The short time you spent in the jujutsu world was hard enough. At least now you know you wont be leaving behind a hole.
Geto is close behind. He’s a quiet boy, well-mannered, well-spoken. Far better than his white haired brat of a companion. It isn’t often he comes for injuries, but when accidents do happen, you’re sure to lecture him while tending to his injuries.
Maybe one day you get curious enough to ask what curses taste like. Maybe that day, he finally decides to be honest.
On tinier areas, like the tongue, your CT can last for hours. You try it out just once when he’s called to dispatch a first grade. He comes back that day with eyes brighter than anything you’ve ever seen.
It continues like that. When he’s called for an exorcism, he finds you. It’s like a goodbye ritual. You and him sit on the exam table, his mouth open wide as you diligently apply your curse technique, careful not to miss a single corner. He often tells you that you saved his life. You didn’t know he meant that so sincerely.
He confesses to you a year after Riko’s death.
Hes like a kid. He is a kid, staring down at you with hopeful eyes, not even a day over 18. You know what you should do. Rip the band-aide off, nice and clean. He deserves that.
But...you just cant break his heart like that, so you lie.
You tell him when he's older. You tell him after graduation. You tell him to wait. He readily does. You hope in a couple years hed be too embarrassed to ask you again. His adult brain would kick in and nag at him. His friends might too. Maybe when he comes back as a fully-fledged sorcerer, you two could laugh about this.
Your last straw is Haibara.
You quit the school. you walk away from jujutsu sorcery. It's hard, because its been your life for years, but leaving hurts less than staying.
You don't tell geto. You just leave. Abandon him.
You go back to your old job. A normal high school, treating normal high school students. Years pass like that. You move on with your normal life.
And then you meet a normal man. Quiet, well-mannered, the ever slightest gray in his hair. He's perfect. When he gives you the ring, it was the happiest you'd ever been.
Geto finds you two years after your marriage.
It's almost surreal meeting him again, seeing him in your quiet apartment. There's so much blood. His fingers are dripping in it.
He smiles. "So, had time to think it over?"
You were half right. One day, Geto did come back as a full-fledged sorcerer.
But neither of you laughed about it.
#asks#yandere#yandere jjk#dark jjk#dark content#x reader#yandere x reader#dark geto suguru x reader#dark geto suguru#yandere geto suguru x reader#yandere geto suguru#tw: blood
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worth it - m. kaiser x f!reader in which you decide to give it another shot with with each other.
tags/cw: exes to lovers, crack (see original req ask) || wc: 1k-ish (i have gone insane)
courtesy of kai’s cat café! - 150 followers event café menu || order progress asks closed.
michael kaiser is convinced his life is 100% a joke. there’s no other explanation for why he’s currently sitting in a dimly lit, overpriced restaurant, waiting for a blind date that his best friend, ness, had insisted he go on.
it'll be fun, ness had said. you haven't dated since her, so just give it a shot.
michael doesn’t do blind dates, doesn’t do serious relationships, and he certainly doesn’t do surprises - which is precisely why he’d refused ness’s ridiculous proposition at first. but between his friend’s relentless nagging and his own begrudging admission that his love life had the excitement of a damp sock, he had caved eventually.
and now, as he swirls the wine in his glass like some kind of brooding movie villain, he wonders if this is the universe’s idea of a cruel prank.
because the person who just walked through the restaurant doors - the person he's meant to be on a blind date with - is none other than you.
michael nearly chokes on his drink at the first glimpse he gets of you. you don’t see him at first, distracted as you scan the restaurant, looking for whoever your own meddling friend had set you up with. when your eyes land on him, your entire body stiffens, and he watches as you cycle through the five stages of grief in record time.
he knows exactly what you're thinking, because he’s thinking the exact same -
out of all the people in the world, why you?
your relationship had ended on less-than-great terms. there had been yelling, multiple dramatic exits and even more dramatic re-entrances, and at one point, if he recalls correctly, a very unnecessary but satisfyingly cinematic slow clap. it had been over a year since the breakup, and though time was supposed to heal all wounds, he wasn’t sure if it applied to two people as ridiculously petty as the both of you.
you take a deep breath and approach the table, walking like someone being led to their inevitable doom. “this is a joke, right?” you say, pulling out the chair with a familiar enthusiasm - the enthusiasm with which one might do the dishes, maybe.
michael leans back in his chair, trying to appear nonchalant even though he’s nothing but. you look good, infuriatingly so.
“trust me, if i were trying to pull a prank, it’d be something a lot more elaborate than this.”
you sigh, shoulders slumping. “so, what? our friends thought it would be hilarious to set us up?”
“looks that way.”
silence stretches between you, heavy with the weight of tense, withering stares and poor life choices, and michael, for all his arrogance, finds himself at a rare loss for words. he should say something clever, maybe. something that would put him back in control of this bizarre situation. instead, he blurts out, “you look... less mad than i expected.”
you blink. “i just got here. give it a minute.”
a beat of silence. then, against all odds, you both snort at the same time.
somehow, you make it through the meal without either of you throwing your drinks in the other’s face. the conversation starts awkward, progresses to dangerous levels of sarcastic, and before long, you’re both swapping old inside jokes, complete with exaggerated impressions of each other. by the time dessert arrives, you’re laughing so hard you nearly snort crème brûlée out of your nose.
reality seems to hit the two of you, then, turning the sweetness of the custard bitter on your tongues.
you poke at your half-eaten dessert with your fork, your voice quieter when you finally speak again.
“do you ever wonder if we could’ve done things differently?”
he pauses, fork halfway to his mouth. he should brush it off, throw out some cocky remark. but instead, he casts his pride aside, sets his fork down and meets your gaze.
“yeah,” he admits. “i do.”
you nod as if you expected that answer. “at least we know our friends are absolutely useless.”
he scoffs. “truly the worst.”
the check arrives, and the night reaches its fated conclusion. you both step outside, the cool air nipping at your skin. for a moment, neither of you move, standing there like two characters in a sitcom finale that never got renewed.
finally, you exhale, pulling your coat tighter. “well. goodbye, kaiser.”
something in his chest tightens at the way you say it. he forces a smirk, shoving his hands into his pockets. “see you around, liebling.”
you roll your eyes at the old pet name but don’t comment. instead, you turn and walk away, down the block. the night seems to swallow you up in seconds.
he watches you go, exhaling. he should turn around and walk the other way. should go home, pretend this night never happened.
but then, just as you reach the corner, you stop.
you hesitate.
and then, as if it takes every ounce of courage you have, you turn back around.
“kaiser.”
he’s already moving before you say anything else, crossing the distance between you with the same reckless abandon he’s always had. you open your mouth, maybe to say something witty, maybe to say nothing at all, but he doesn’t give you the chance.
because before he can overthink it, before either of you can change your minds, he cups your face in his hands and kisses you.
it’s not perfect. it’s a little clumsy, and more a little desperate. but when you kiss him back, fingers tangling in the fabric of his jacket, he swears it might be the best decision he’s made in a long, long time. and when you finally pull away, breathless and a little stunned, you stare at him like you can’t quite believe what just happened.
michael grins, cocky and familiar and maybe just a little hopeful.
“so,” he murmurs, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “think our friends would find it hilarious if we gave this another shot?”
you laugh, shaking your head. “they’d be insufferable.”
he hums, tilting his head. “worth it, though?”
you pretend to consider it, but you both already know the answer.
“yeah,” you whisper, smiling giddily. “worth it.”
bllk masterlist || general masterlist © sirhamburrger 2025
#event: kai's cat cafe#150 followers event#blue lock#bllk x reader#michael kaiser#michael kaiser bllk#michael kaiser x reader#michael kaiser x you#kaiser x reader#kaiser x you#kaiser fluff#bllk fluff#kai writes
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esmee fic 👀 black reader who plays for barcelona and fans find out that reader does esmee's gameday braids. they start to suspect that reader and esmee are together!!!
MY ONLY ONE Esmee brugts x Black reader
Summary : fans put pieces together and find out not only are you dating esmee but you're the one who does her game day braids 💗
Contains: Esmee x black!reader, Fluff, Pina braids slander because tf not
A/n: Thank you so much for requesting this 🫶🏿 I enjoyed every bit of writing for this fic, and I hope you enjoy reading this if you have any other esmee requests or for any other player send them my way feedback are always appreciated and happy reading.
You and esmee have recently been dropping little hints about your relationship on social media. It all started when es posted a little story about your date that included a scenery pic.
You on the other hand, took it up a notch with postings you and esmee holding hands nothing to crazy, just enough to have people sitted for a soft lunch.
The second time you guys posted again was at the men's home game where your other teammates had accompany you.
Es had given you her hoodie because you felt a little cold and you made a story post about her jester. Which was where fans started connecting the dots because esmee had posted a photo dump.
In one of the pictures, you guys had taken a group photo, esmee still had her jacket in it. And your story of having es jacket on was stil up.
Everyone was either theorizing about the both of you or trying to convince themselves esmee was just helping out her forgetful teammates.
But something that blew it all up was a video that vicky took of you braiding esme hair a few days before a game. Confirming all the rumors about you too with the very accidental video.
"How come you only braid esmee hair before we have games". You heard a voice say making you look lose concentration on what you we're doing."Because one she's my girlfriend and two you never asked me to braid your hair, I mean you and pina share the same braider so your point?". You told the curly haired girl as you continued braiding not noticing she was recording.
"Aye! You can't blame me for sharing braiding info Claudia wouldn't leave me alone until I told her". You heard her say as esmee was laughing at her.
"Not our fault you have a weak backbone". Your girlfriend said moving the posting of her head onto your lap.
"Es stay stil for me I'm almost done". You told her, leaving a kiss on her cheek, unaware that vicky was stil filming.
"You're both so disgustingly inlove makes me want to puke". Vicky's voice echoes through the room making an exit to leave.
"You'll understand love one day, Vick." You yelled out to the younger girl as she left.
Vicky wasn't even paying attention when she posted the video as she had already left her phone in the locker room, not paying attention to what she had posted.
It wasn't until a break was called that pina came up to your group that consisted of you, esmee, vicky,salma and cata.
"Why would you guys say that about me and vicky you galdy gave me the braider info I did not pressure you to giving me". Pina said frankly looking annoyed.
"What did vicky post?". You had asked the younger girl looking quite confused. That when it hit vicky she had accidentally posted it public instead of close friends.
"I can explain it was meant for close friends I didn't know it got posted for the whole world, you can blame ona for rushing me you know". She said trying to defend herself.
"I don't care about it being posted you just ruined my soft lunch ugh". You told the group of friends.
"There's no point in hiding it again, baby we can just hard lunch I do have some photos of us that I've always wanted to post." You heard your girlfriend say.
"You guys problem is fixed but what about vicky badmouthing me to the internet". Pina said now irritated at the fact that people are going to think she harassed the younger girl for braiding info.
"You can start by stop getting them done, because people are calling you Lauren james knock off of the uwcl." You told pina making the group of girls around you laugh as you and esmee walked away from them.
“You’ll still braid my hair for me right”. You heard Vicky asking. "Si Si, you better get back to practice before your guardian Alexia comes and drag you away.
Yourusername&esmeebrugts
Cats out the bag thank you so much @vickylopez for ruining my soft lunch liked by ona.batlle, salma paralluelo and 12,034 people
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@Vickylopez you're welcome me next for when you do esmee hair again
@ona.batlle freaking finally
@wosofan19w9 I knew it from the starts did anyone else see Vicky's story of them making fun of pina
@Claudiapina you don't need to rub it in our faces《Youreplied @patriguijarro doesn't keep you satisfied què? 《Claudiapina she's my bestfriend why would we be kissing?
@mapileòn @esmeebrugts when's the wedding?《@esmeebrugts replied when you tell us when yours and Ingrid is 😄
@sophiasmith happy for you bubs 💕 《Youreplied 🫶🏿
@yournumber1fan the chaos in this comment section
@cata.coll @kika you owe me 50€
#woso#woso community#woso x reader#woso one shot#woso oneshot#woso blurbs#esmee brugts x reader#esmee brugts#woso fic#woso fanfics#woso soccer#woso imagine#woso imagines#woso fluff#woso appreciation#barcelona femeni x reader#barca femini x reader#barcelona women#barcelona femeni#sophia smith
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So... Jayvik and Caitvi. In the same way that Jayce and Caitlyn are like brother and sister, I can imagine V (Viktor) and Vi bonding over the fact that they're both from the Undercity, and becoming very close friends as a result.
Coming from the same place, they have socio-cultural codes and practices and a vision of the world—in short, a whole habitus—in common. In fact, they like to hang out together when living in Piltover is too much for them, among a bourgeois elite that remains for them an oppressor by whom they will never be truly accepted, and whose codes they will only assimilate and reproduce superficially, the barrier between the two worlds and the weight of history between the two peoples being too thick and heavy for them to be able to really cross it and become so deeply imbued with the Piltovian habitus that they fully acculturate to it. Not that they want to, either, because to integrate completely into the topside society that is the source of a suffering deeply and forever engraved in their flesh would be for them to deny and betray their deepest selves and origins as well as their loved ones remaining in the Undercity, if not their entire people.
Their passing, as class defectors, is thus only apparent. That said, Viktor being older and having lived longer than Vi in Piltover, but also having evolved in the upper echelons of its intellectual and, by extension via Jayce, political elite, I can see him giving Vi advice and sharing his knowledge of the Piltovian way of thinking and living, or correcting some of her character or behavioral traits to help her adapt better in the upper city, especially since as Caitlyn's companion, who is the daughter of one of the most important local houses, she is unfortunately forced to conform to certain standards. In return, I imagine Vi allows V to drop the mask of forced propriety and rediscover a certain whimsy and insolence proper to Zaun, where despite the daily struggles for survival, the inhabitants retain a freedom of thought, an outspokenness and an nonconformism proper to the rebellious spirit of youth and to the working-class camaraderie inherited from hard labor and trade union culture in the mines. For instance, I can see V starting to use swear words again now that he's mixing with Vi, words he'd forbidden himself to use from the moment he had stepped foot in Piltover (even Jayce has never heard a profanity come out of his mouth).
That's why I imagine them getting together on a regular basis to unburden their shoulders of this weight of transclasses and outsiders perpetually out of step in an alien society. At first, they would meet in the less upscale corners of Piltie, those closest to the entrance to the Lanes, putting the world to rights while enjoying drinks at café terraces, window-shopping or sitting in parks. Then they would agree to go back down into Zaun, to reconnect even more with their roots.
Eventually, they would also insist so much that Caitlyn and Jayce come with them, that the latter would eventually give in, despite the constraints it would represent for them, the bad memories they had of Zaun and the remnants of a misplaced condescension for the place and its people still holding sway over them. But out of love, and understanding the self-sacrifice their lovers would make every day to live at Piltie, they would agree to this little compromise, far from 50/50 of course, but aware of how much it all meant to Vi and V, who would then feel allowed to show them the culture of the place and their expertise on it, making Cait and Jayce fall even more in love with them at the sight of the extent and number of their hidden talents, sadly unsuited to Piltover.
In the Undercity, V and Vi would stay one step ahead of their lovers, acting as guardians in dark, seedy alleys, or as culinary guides in restaurants serving suspicious dishes, heartily mocking their cumbersome gas masks. And, when Cait or Jayce would be interested in an item on the market, the other two would show them the fierce art of haggling with salesmen trying to rip off two Pilties lost in a foreign, archaic world, a chaos preceding the apparent cosmos of the topside. While Cait wouldn't be too much surprised to see Vi acting in this way, because it wouldn't be the first time she'd come with her to Zaun, Jayce, for his part, would rediscover his Viktor in a new light. Viktor stuffing himself with dubious foods. Viktor bargaining relentlessly with unscrupulous merchants with a gall and a sassiness Jayce knew he had but had never witnessed before, or at least not to such an extent. Viktor speaking different dialects with representatives of Zaun's various ethnicities and races, with Vi also taking part in the conversation; or V and Vi speaking in Viktor's native dialect (I happen to have a headcanon explaining his accent...)—until then, indeed, he'd never heard Viktor speak a language other than the official one common to both cities with his exquisite accent.
But then he'd hear V swear for the first time and he'd blush; or he'd be moved to hear him introduce him to different places or customs, telling him about them with the self-assurance of someone who knows them from the inside, and for the first time he'd really understand how his man must have felt in his early days at Piltover. Hence, just for a day in Zaun, Jayce would accept to become the outsider instead of Viktor, and from the new prism of his reversed social position, he would feel pride, wonder and renewed love for V.
He'd also watch in awe as his man would hail or greet old acquaintances randomly in the crowd, or would be recognized and approached by shopkeepers who hadn't seen him in years and would therefore be happy to hear from him again. Those V's hitherto unknown aspects he would keep jealously sealed in his heart and cherish forever.
He would also rejoice in V's bond with Vi, them so dissimilar in appearance, happy with their friendship consolidating a little more each day, and with these parallel bonds established between him and Cait, and Viktor and Violet, and he would hope and pray that all this would last until the end.
He would also be delighted to see V finally becoming an integral part of a social group and feeling at ease, finally letting down his guard and abandoning his false shyness in the midst of Vi, Jinx, Ekko, Mylo, Claggor, Vander, Silco and Benzo, he who were once rejected by Zaunites his own age because of his disability. And all together, they would talk about things the Zaunites have in common, and Cait and Jayce would feel left out until Vi, V or the others would provide them with an explanation.
And all, they would watch Jayce out of the corner of their eyes, laughing and giggling at him swooning in front of his man, drinking in every word he would say and always seeming to restrain himself from falling on his neck to kiss him passionately in front of everyone.
But in short, I imagine Vi and V (along with Jinx and Ekko, sometimes) being kind of refuge for each other when their life in Piltover turns them upside down and even sometimes the understanding with their lovers due to their many differences isn't up to scratch and fights and conflicts are on the horizon. They both are friends and confidants, and they find the name of their duo rocks. What about Cai and Jay for the other two?
#Fuck. My sequence of tenses died in this room#Too many conditionals#jayce arcane#jayce talis#viktor#viktor arcane#viktor talis#caitlyn kiramman#vi#jayvik#jayce x viktor#viktor x jayce#caitvi#arcane#arcane league of legends#arcane lol#arcane netflix#arcane season 2#arcane s2#Rosa Ignea
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week of february 2nd, 2025
these are written predominantly for the *rising* signs but they are also intuitively "channeled" enough that they should work for any dominant energy you have! (try your sun if you don't know rising, or more advanced readers can try moon, anywhere you have a stellium, etc and see what works best for you!)
aries: venus moves into your sign this week. while venus is classically debilitated in your sign, it just means the energy is not very natural to her. venus in aries is actually lovely as a force for the beauty of justice, and she can make you quite charismatic as well. embrace aesthetics and a little romance.
taurus: while many parts of your chart are active this week, the epicenter of activity is your career, reputation, and public image/status. there are changes coming to this realm and you will do well to put some effort into aligning those changes with the legacy you want to leave, the imprint you wish to make on the world.
gemini: you have great money vibes this week, especially if you are pursuing higher education, spirituality, or foreign travel. jupiter also goes direct in your sign this week, likely bringing helpful people. remember, it's auspicious to also be a helpful person yourself.
cancerians: if you need to do any reputation damage control or prettying up your social media or resume/cv, this week is a perfect time, especially once venus is ensconced in aries. in general you're going to have sort of low energy, so get lots of sleep!
leo: if a friends to lovers story is your idea of fun it's quite probable this week. you'll need to be looking out for it but it will be unmistakable when you do see it. and if that's not really your thing (or in addition to it) you can still make the most of the week's astrology by doing something really nice for a close friend, and appreciating them when they are there for you.
virgo: it's not the sort of week that you can expect things to go according to even your most impeccably laid plans. lean into your natural mutability and embrace unexpected changes instead of letting them chafe and irritate you.
libra: good air vibes continue. these are hard times broadly but for you on a personal level many good things occur and beauty exists everywhere. try to spread some of that to people who struggle more to see it.
scorpio: no matter how developed and complete you may have thought your spirituality to be, your philosophical approach to it continues to develop at light speed this week. don't try to dig in your heels about it but go with the flow instead. you are meant to change and not stagnate, fixed sign though you may be.
sagittarius: your ruling planet jupiter goes direct this week and you may even instantly feel like any stuckness in your life is magically undone and you can move forward (or at all) again. if stuckness hasn't been an issue rest assured good things are occurring for you behind the scenes if not before your eyes.
capricorn: your week consists of mainly minor influences but there is overall a push that you should be having fun, and not forcing yourself to go through rote motions for money or corporate points. it's not a bad time to "touch grass".
aquarius: jupiter direct brings you fun and even romance if you're open to it, but at the same time ceres in your sign square uranus in taurus is a strange standoff that can put you in somewhat unhealthy situations. try to form, or improve, a healthy and stable foundation so that when wobbly aspects like this come up you can regain your footing easily.
pisces: a surreal quality continues into this week. but now you may find you are a little bit more in your head than in some alternate dimension or dreamscape. keep one foot on the ground, and continue to avoid excess or addictive tendencies. indeed, it's not a bad idea to relax at home and see what good fortune just lands at your doorstep for now.
watch the transit posts in real time to have the best guide through your week. want a little more? have a look at my patreon or ko-fi.
check out my etsy for a private reading or fill out this form to set up a reading through venmo, cashapp, or paypal.
#astrology#horoscopes#horoscope#weekly horoscopes#weekly horoscope#signs#zodiac#aries#taurus#gemini#canceer#leo#virgo#libra#scorpio#sagittarius#capricorn#pisces#aquarius
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Some extra Infos for anons who want to torment this little bean >:3
- His parents are still alive (Butterfly effect is working hard in this AU)- His parents did disown him for getting adopted by Selina and haven't talked to him directly since.
- He changed his name after 1 year, because the press was relentless with showing up whenever the name Timothy Jackson Drake was put down anywhere.
- He tried to contact his parents a few times in this first year, but was either ignored or belittled for his efforts.
- He and Jason (at the time still Robin) sunk the Batmobile in the river, after they took it out for a Joyride (Both Bat and Cat had been "preoccupied" and the boys were kinda pissed about it)
- He had a "phase" of staying up far too long + consuming worrisome amounts of energy drinks. This habit resurfaces when he is extremely stressed out. This does mess heavily with his nap schedule, that he has to help with his narcolepsy.
- He became Stray at 8 ½, after Catwoman couldn't persuade him to stay home and stop stalking the Bat's. Training him in basic survival skills for his stalking hobby, somehow evolved into him becoming her sidekick.
- He does not know what exactly happened to Jason, only that Robin didn't go out for a long time and that Jason was also missing school for months. After that Jason only showed up sporadically as Robin, until he stopped with his enrollment in Metropolis U. Now when he joins the other heroes from time to time, he always uses a new costume, confusing the villains and rogues. The others started to call him "Nameless", since he didn't give himself a name.
- He did date Stephanie for a short while, but both of them decided that they worked better as friends.
- Stephanie's Robin run was a bit longer, since it was really meant as training in this universe. She did go back to Spoiler after a year.
- The current Robin is Damian, who he sometimes can bond with, since Tim never was Robin and that they both like to talk about cats.
- Tim also likes to sometimes join other villains as a temporary sidekick. Manly the Riddler, Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy.
- Tim is a bit more morally grey. When he helps with rescuing people, there is a chance that he will leave people behind who he knows are bad/irredeemable (This is talking about a single incident, where he left behind a father in a burning building and rescued his two kids, because he knew that he was actively molesting them. He also closed every door on his way outside.)
- Bitey did wipe his memories of an incident once, when he ate a man in front of him and Tim had (understandably) a panic attack.
- He had a problem with overly protective Stalking, that he has been working on.
- He is in therapy, since his Mom wanted him to process the adoption healthy and is still going now.
- Bruce helped Selina with suing the Drake's, since they didn't answer the emails she or her lawyers sent. They only came back to Gotham, after Bruce Wayne's lawyers took over the case.
- Tim's parents gave up custody, when the case started to gain attention from the public to save face.
(I think this is everything? I'll add more at some point ^^)
Character Info:
Stray is 19 year old Tim Kyle - formerly known as Timothy Jackson Drake - who was adopted by Selina Kyle/Catwoman as a almost 10-year-old. The inccident in Ethiopia didn't end with anyone dead, which is why he never became a Robin. He is in a relationship with his universes Bernard ( @basically-bernard ).
He was thrown into this Dimension via cursed Amulet and has found his way back home, via a stable portal that he and others now use to switch between these two universes.
He sees Jacyn ( @jacynkaplanbrake ) as a brother, even tho things aren't too healthy between the two.
Batkid ( @batkid-from-another-father ) is a younger Tim, that he also sees as his little brother.
Duke ( @irl-batsignal ) is also a brother and good friend for him.
Thomas ( @toddlerofgotham ) has started to grow on him and has also become something like a little brother to him (or more likely like his own kid).
He also got adopted by Bitey ( @bite-anon ) somehow. Sometimes he lives with him and other times with the Selina from this universe ( @selinakyl-ee )
The Harley ( @harleenquinntime ) of this universe also got the Aunt title, which in return makes her daughter ( @luluquinn ) his little cousin.
Another close friend is Liminals ( @l1m1n4ls ), who have helped him and Duke once before to escape from DreamCorps ( @dreamcorpsinc ) who are now back, bringing trouble once more.
I'll add to this as the story progresses and I'm sorry for the late introduction and all the tags ^^"
Credit: @/cosmicpoutine here on Tumblr for the lovely art!
#Reblogging this again in a completely new addition; because it doesn't update all three additions#dc rp blog#dc rp#stray tim rp blog#ooc post#introduction#at this point this is mostly so that I can find all the relevant people's blogs without having to search through my follow list x.x
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Jason will never admit to anyone that he believes his death is his fault. He’ll never tell anyone how he ended up in that warehouse, so desperate for someone to love him just for them to put a gun against his head and hand him off to his executioner.
Jason will never tell his friends how he cried for Sheila, the woman who was supposed to care for him to help him. To stop the mad man from beating him within an inch of his life with a crowbar, and then leaving him there to die.
He’ll never tell his family about his attempt to save his mom, standing up and making his way over to her in an attempt to at least get her out of the warehouse and to safety.
He’ll never tell another living soul about the fear that ticking caused him. Knowing he’d tried his hardest, he stood up past death to save this woman, he tried to get them both out of that warehouse and to safety, only for a few ticks to decide their fate.
Jason will never tell his brothers about the rage the pit caused, he’ll never talk about the emotions he felt swirling in his head. The voices saying to kill the joker cause he killed Jason, the voices begging for his dad to hold him and make him better again, the voices screaming maybe just listen to Batman for once.
Jason will take his death to his grave yet again, a secret that will stay with him this time. One that won’t be broken by a shattered time stream. He will lay in that coffin and never have to claw himself out again. Jason won’t have to wander down that rainy, muddy road ever again. He won’t have to tread the cold rain and feel his mind betray him as he continued walking to find help, just to be labeled as a brain dead John Doe.
Jason wouldn’t have to be dipped into a pool of glowing green anger, the liquid that shattered his mind yet made it one again. He wouldn’t be a solider, he wouldn’t be a weapon for the league to train and fill with even more hate.
He would lay in his coffin the final time as Jason Peter Todd, a boy with a heart to big for his own good. His urge to help others hurt him the most, and he’d happily lay there knowing that. He’s the son of Sheila Haywood, the ward of Bruce Wayne, and the brother and friend of Dick Grayson.
Only god would know that the man that stood before Jason in the mirror, the Red Hood wasn’t who he was meant to be. Jason would never admit to himself, that if he had the chance to see that fifteen year old boy who just wanted someone to love and listen to him, that he’d hug him and apologize.
He’d apologize for the desperation of someone who wanted to raise him as a son, not a solider. He’d apologize again for the ignorance he’d chosen, the way he’d left The Bats side and gone to Ethiopia on a one way ticket to his spot six feet underground. Jason would apologize for the hurt that he felt, the pain and sobs that the second Robin had yet to experience. He’d hold himself close and apologize over and over again, telling his to just keep pushing and how sorry he is.
Jason Todd will never tell Bruce that inside his hope and prayers of the Batman finally realizing how many people to Joker has hurt, and finally ending the clowns life to put an end to his madness, and save others and save others who can’t save themselves. Cause no matter how many times Bruce messes up, Jason knows how strong Bruce is, and Jason knows that if he ever needs saving, the man is one distress signal away.
#headcanons make life bearable#I like making Jason miserable#jason todd#red hood#batman#bruce wayne#dc joker#death in the family#under the red hood#angst
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michigan
August 24, 2024
Mackenzie had got invited to Michigan for training with some amazing coaches and she was surprised by the offer from the Hughes brothers for her to stay with them.
She got into Michigan yesterday and met Quinn, Jack and Luke officially. They were incredibly kind to her and she has already laughed so much because all three of them and the first day of training was incredible.
Mackenize was laying in her bed scrolling on her phone when she got a text from Will.
Will 🦈
You’re in Michigan?
Will sat in his bed back in Boston after seeing the photo Mackenzie sent him last night and immediately recognized the rink that was in the photo. He had just spent the last few weeks in Michigan and got back to Boston only a few days ago.
Mack
yeah just got here yesterday morning!
Will 🦈
You’re telling me i missed you by a few days :(
Mack
yeah…..
Will 🦈
That’s mean Celebrini :(
:(
:(
Mackenzie rolled her eyes fondly smiling as she texted back.
Mack
we will both be back in San Jose in a few weeks
Will 🦈
Yes
But i could have seen you in Michigan.
Mackenzie laughed to herself.
Mack
i’ll tell you next time
Will 🦈
You better.
Mackenzie looked up from her phone hearing a knock on the door and she said come in and Quinn peeked his head in, “You want to head to the rink?” Quinn asked knowing Jack still isn’t fully back at the rink every day and Luke has an off day.
Makenzie quickly nodded running a hand through her hair as she sat up, “Ten minutes?” Quinn asked and she gave him a smile and nod and he closed the door.
Mackenzie quickly texted Will before she got ready to go and headed down the stairs of the lake house seeing Quinn holding two cups with what looked a smoothie and a piece of toast.
Mackenzie smiled at Quinn’s kindness, Yesterday he asked a lot about what she eats and her food routines and she told him she always needs at least some type of food in the morning before doing anything or she gets nauseous.
Mackenzie followed Quinn to his car and hoped in happily eating her toast and drinking the really good smoothie as the car was filled with just comfortable silence.
Mackenzie quickly braided her hair and hoped out of the car following Quinn into the rink and to the locker tok to head onto the ice.
Quinn had noticed how similar some of Mackenzie’s play style is to Jack and helping her correct certain things that he helped Jack correct.
Mackenzie loved how tough it is to play against Quinn and she was looking forward to the next two weeks learning so much from the trainers and coaches but also Quinn, Jack and Luke and all of the hockey boys they come with.
August 30, 2024
Mackenzie had been in Michigan for about a week now and she’s loved it, Michigan reminded her a lot of summers in Vancouver. She loves the training she’s been going through but also the friendships she was making.
The last few years when she has met people they already knew her or knew of her and had their opinions on her.
But Quinn, Jack and Luke treated her just like Mackenzie not Mackenzie Celebrini first overall pick. It meant more than she could ever explain and she had a feeling the three knew what it meant because they have all gone through similar things.
She learned Quinn was the best at advice and he was steady making you feel more confident just being around him and like he had your back, Jack just had such determination around him to keep getting back up and playing better and it rubbed off on everyone around him but he never missed a chance to crack jokes and make things fun, Luke was the closest in her age so they grew closest because of that and Luke made a way making things just be fun but also being mature in what they were doing and he was good reminder to just enjoy what she loves even if it is becoming her job.
And that doesn’t even count all of the other hockey boys she has met and became friends with too. So it was nice to be around hockey players who just saw her as Mackenzie.
Mackenzie got to meet Ellen and Jim Hughes because they forced their boys to bring her over for dinner and she could instantly see where the boys got their kindness, sass, determination, skill for game and just warmth. It was all Ellen and Jim and each of the brothers seemed to have a bit of both of their parents.
Mackenzie immediately was most excited to meet Ellen because who wouldn’t be excited to meet Ellen Hughes.
August 31, 2024
Mackenzie followed Luke through out the crowd and walked into the big house, she joined Luke at the season opener for Michigan football.
Mackenzie made sure to chirp Luke about Umich because she is a BU girl even if she was really excited to see the University of Michigan for the first time, it was one of the top schools she wanted to go to before looking at BU.
Mackenzie followed Luke where they met up with her friend Gavin who she has met already and they just chatted on the sidelines until the start of the game.
Of course they got asked by the social media team for a photo and Mackenzie smiled at the camera and snickered softly at Luke’s face making Gavin laugh too and Luke roll his eyes at them.
The game started and she was intently watching the whole time just enjoying the game, her love for football grew more when she moved to San Jose when she was younger and her family started going to 49ers game often and of course she went to a lot of BU football games.
Mackenzie had a fun time.
September 4, 2024
Mackenzie was out sitting on the dock having woken up pretty early as Quinn was the only one up and out on his morning run. She was drinking a cup of coffee and texting with Will who woke up around three same time as her in Boston.
Jack yawned holding his mug as he walked outside and took a deep breath feeling the crisp air and how calm everything was this early before he saw Mackenzie sitting on the dock.
Jack headed down to her.
Jack sees a lot himself in Mackenzie and just her situation with her hockey career and he really hopes he can be a supportive person for her, he knew firsthand how hard it is in the NHL especially as a number over overall pick and he doesn’t want her to go through all that alone because he understands.
Jack raised an eyebrow seeing the smile and blush on her face as she texted, he’s noticed her texting a lot since she got here and how smiley she got but didn’t want to ask to soon but with her being here for two weeks now it seems it has been long enough, “Boyfriend?”
Mackenzie flinched away from her phone and looked at Jack shocked because she didn’t hear him sit down next to her and his question, “What?”
Jack let out a small laugh at her confused face, “Are you texting your boyfriend?” Jack asked again with a small teasing smile.
“Oh no no he’s gonna be my teammate, I’ve only just become friends with Will.” Mackenzie quickly stammered out her cheeks warming she had never thought of Will like that besides thinking he was pretty.
“Besides i don’t know if i want to be in relationship again.” Mackenzie tightly smiled, she was treated horribly and got heartbroken and betrayed in her first relationship. She doesn’t know if she could trust someone again like that.
Jack hummed softly remembering the name Will for the future and he gave her a soft sad smile, “Bad relationship?” He asked softly he’s had his fair share of bad relationships and heart breaks.
“Yeah.” Makenzie nodded softly.
“Well for future advice if you do find someone that you like don’t let your past stop you from living and finding love, that would just make your Ex win again.” Jack softly but firmly told her.
Mackenzie slowly nodded listening to his advice, “You know how to give good advice?” Mackenzie playfully gasped changing the topic slightly.
Jack just fondly rolled his eyes at her teasing and he let her change the topic and ruffled her hair.
#mackenziecelebriniau#macklin celebrini#mc71#will smith hockey x oc#will smith hockey#cole eiserman#connor bedard#connor bedard x oc#nick moldenhauer#bu hockey#bc hockey#boston university#gabe perreault x oc#gabe perreault#ryan leonard x oc#ryan leonard#william eklund#tyler toffoli#ty dellandrea#san jose sharks#luke hughes#jack hughes#quinn hughes#nhl x oc#nhl au#jack hughes x oc#luke hughes x oc#quinn hughes x oc#nhl#lane hutson
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6x06 aka why does this show hate joy and my emotional stability Smitty...really should've been fired by now, right? Look, I love a good comedic Smitty but...you know. Lucy messed up at the clown crime scene, even though she wasn't the first officer on site and wasn't responsible for securing the scene, and she got the pissed taken out of her. Do they just not even bother writing Smitty up anymore? Lucy, my love. Also her poster bed is gone :( I only just noticed. fic has me convinced that it's because of sexytimes, but i'll miss that gorgeous massive bed. i always wanted a four poster bed. Tamara baby no don't leave your mother. Lucy being so supportive when her entire life is falling apart. Honestly, Angela, no. You don't get to tell Lucy to sit back and do nothing and then go check on Tim yourself and then not tell Lucy afterwards. She was meant to be your friend too. I know Tim's your best friend but you can't just let Lucy spin out like this. Lucy has his back too but he won't let her be there. GAH. I'm so angry. I do get it, Angela has her priorities and Tim is above Lucy, but it still sucks.
70 degrees? Look, 21 celsius is no joke. I don't know how y'all cope in anything above 16/60 tbh. Also, why would you think it's a good idea to have a bunch of inmates mixed in with a crowd of people constantly changing with multiple escape routes? And no perimeter guard? Angela just tell him to tell Lucy. Better yet, tell her yourself. It's her choice if she puts her career at risk. Gaaaaaaaaah. Stop taking things away from Lucy and that includes her choices. I can't even pay attention to the side plots, or the main plots. Though I do find it funny that Angela just disappeared from work to do this with Tim. Unless she was leaving shift when she ran into Lucy. But this lot do have a habit of disappearing when they should be working. Angela please recognise how in over his head Tim is. Please tell Lucy and the others. Would you be happy if Lucy helped Wesley with something like this and didn't tell you? Told you to just sit back and leave it alone? Yeah, didn't think so. Maybe if Ray hadn't shown up, Angela could've gotten some sense into Tim and gotten him to talk to Lucy. Maybe. Would it have killed you to tell this to Lucy, Tim? You think she wouldn't be willing to keep this to herself? You've seen the lengths she's gone to to protect the people she loves and cares about, even if she's had to work around the law to do so. I want to feel for Tim. I really do. And part of me does, but knowing how this ends up just destroying Lucy, I just can't. I can't. God I wish we'd been able to see Lucy kick Ray's ass. And I'm so glad nothing happened, because obviously I do not want Tamara and Lucy in any danger, but the fics where Ray does do something are just that hit of angsty goodness. But god, I'm so glad they're not canon because that would've destroyed everything with zero chance of rebuilding. Oh Lucy, her rage and terror and sheer frantic anger are so understandable. Tim, please. For the love of god, please. Let your wife help you. He's her fierce protector and he's so focused on keeping her safe from his past, he doesn't see how much he's hurting her. He can't and won't stop protecting her. He's physically unable. The terror and conviction in his voice when he says that to her. He's trying to protect her from his past, but he's still hurting her so much. That amazingly gorgeous and angsty fic where Angela tells Tim how he broke Lucy's heart, the one thing he was meant to protect? That. So much that. With the lies, the break-up, pretending it was all to keep her safe and make her life better. God Tim, you need to recognise how much pain you caused her. Please. I want a full ass apology and a full ass adult conversation in S7. Full. Oh, Percy West. God, we need more of him. We need him with Lucy as well. I've read some gorgeous fics where they have the best father/daughter relationship before and after Jackson's death. God Tim, I know it's killing him to lie to West and Grey. But this is not the right route to go down, Tim. Please. Honey. Honestly, all I can repeat is what Lucy says. Why are you doing this? This entire scene is killing me. It's so well done, it really is, but good god it hurts. The way she's waiting for him, pulls him into a hug. He knows what he's going to do and he lets himself get drawn into that hug because he knows it might be the last one. The way she cradles his head like he usually does to her. She sees him breaking and she tries to hold him and support him. It's killing her to see him break like this. And the look on her face as she realises what he's saying. Good god. These are two very talented actors. I wish I could dissect this scene better but honestly I'm just too upset. Her holding his hand. Clinging to his shirt. The forehead kiss. Her looking so utterly lost and destroyed as he leaves. Tim please. I mean, the man obviously needs help and he needs to work on his own shit, so the break-up isn't an awful idea. But the way he went about it is just the worst. He can't make decisions for Lucy if he loves and respects her. AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#isca rambles#and now we watch literally no-one have Lucy's back#okay Grey does#and Celina#but the people who are meant to be her close friends?#I'm looking#they better reappear in S7#and worship the fucking ground she walks on
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His eyes flickered to Claudia for a moment, sharing the thought--did Fernand know it was him and was attempting to trqp him? To make Cristobal slip? The Count of Morcerf was smart and cunning but he wouldn't risk a confrontation here he didn't think. No, Fernand was a fool in his older years. Cristobal's jaw clenched for a split second and had to repress the intense need to close his fist and plant it on Fernand's face, over and over and over again until there was barely any face left. Instead, he chuckled, the playful practiced smile on his lips. "What a fool. The trick is not getting caught is it? Keep your affairs in order and trust only a small, lucky few. I do hope this friend of yours didn't tarnish your reputation at the time."
Henry's look at him was intriguing and left little doubt in Cristobal that the older man knew exactly who he was. Our count decided he had to have a conversation with him as well--he'd be easier to approach, maybe as Abbe Busoni again, calling less attention upon himself. He thanked the butler with a nod--he did have manners and posh and prideful as the Count of Montecristo was, he was also respectful of the people in service.
Fernand's next question caught him off guard entirely, though he should've known it was meant to come up at one moment or the other. They had a story cooked up but seeing Claudia sat at the table he didn't feel like lying, not about her.
"I did, once," Cristobal's tone turned sad and melancholic. "Many years ago," he added after a moment, taking a sip of his wine. "She was... funny, and kind. She had a temper though," he added with a small chuckle looking at Fernand and stealing a glance at Claudia. "She was the most beautiful woman I've ever met, present company excluded of course," he said politely looking at the woman he was describing as his eyes moved back to Fernand. "I couldn't marry her fast enough. I dreamed of her in her wedding dress for years... but," he cleared his throat. "She died. At childbirth. Of our stillborn son." He looked at Dante then, "he'd be around your age. So, I've sworn off women since then, no one could compare."
Taking another sip of his wine he cleared his throat again, "a few years later I inherited the title and became my sister's guardian. She's been a blessing, so now my sole purpose in life is to see her happy. She's not out yet but I'd like to find her a good match, someone she can love."
"Quite right!" Fernand said with a hearty laugh. As Claudia and Dante settled in the dining room, the man of the house pulled out a box of fancy cigars. Fernand always wanted to impress, though Claudia was sure that box would leave no impression on Cristobal. "I ask because I want to get to know you, old man. The hunt was filled with more sports talk, and really we had no idea what we were talking about." Fernand was good with a pistol, though he tried to play the modest role any chance he could. "Not all people are like you, my friend. See, I had a friend many years ago...got caught in the wrong crowd and got sent away."
Claudia froze. Did Fernand just throw a jab at Cris, while standing in front of him? Did he know? Fernand continued to laugh, Claudia eyed him. By all means, it seemed he did not know a thing. Dante place his hand on his mother's shoulder, the woman was quick to dispel his concern. Dinner was served. Henry placed the plate in front of Cristobal, and threw him a rather pointed look. The old butler knew Cristobal caught on, and did not care for it. Henry wanted to get to the bottom of it all as much as anyone, but left his curiosity at the hands of his mistress.
Dante kept to himself. He was sat next to his mother and father, with the Count sitting across from him. The young man tried to ignore the embarrassing tiread Fernand was going on. "Tell me, Cristobal, do you have a wife?" Claudia nearly choked, blush spreading over her face. "Fernand! That is hardly appropriate!" Fernand shrugged. "I merely ask, for his own good! I could find him a nice girl if he wished it!"
#tw: stillbirth#rios.#convo || rios#machiavxlli; 005#machiavxlli#cris is 100% testing fernand with that sisterly comment
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"Jason was the happy robin" this, "jason was the angry robin" that. Let's all be fully honest here Jason was the lonely robin
#It gets worse the more i think about it aiguaoughhh#they pretty much retconned the people he was close to before the crisis. he only interacts with dick like once or twice#ive never seen him with barbara#he had no team#in terms of school he had rena(?) and then 3 friends that show up in an annual and never again#and obviously with the whole secret identity it hardly can be a close friendship. esp with how little theyre shown#in terms of super friends he had Danny and Kid Devil. which. one is mentioned off hand and theyre never seen together#and the other is from a short story and never brought up again#alfred has his praises sung but we never really see him connect with jay#all he had was BRUCE. and the only way to ever be with bruce is to be robin#is it really any wonder he chased after his mother? is it any wonder who chose to trust someone he hardly knew?#dc liveblog#jason todd#i feel so bad for him all the time for forever#ive just started reading comics after his death but before his resurrection. the hallucination jason era#and its seems to be shaping up to be with him written as the angry robin who never listened#which i Know is because of the writers. but in universe? it just feels like jason wasnt understood or known at all#doylist vs watsonian moment as they say#dc comics#batman comics#and he became a symbol of failure to batman So Quickly. not a memory but a reminder#and every trophy from his time as robin was taken out of the batcave. and every moment as jason was removed from (at least) bruces room#he was on call/on a list as a backup titan if they needed help but he wasnt With them. they teamed up twice#i cant remember if he meant it towards blood specifically or in general rn but he fully admitted to not being good/experienced enough#they didn't really know him and he didn't really know them#wait fuck was rena all pre-crisis. devastating. he stopped going on patrols n being robin for awhile when she was his gf#of course by then he was already A Hero who cant fully ignore how he can help so he eventually was like yeah we should stop a little#obviously there was that catwoman arc going on and i feel writers just liked keeping him away alot. but ough. he was so quick to stop when#there was someone There. and robin didn't have ti feel like all he had#anyway crisis got rid of her im sure. like harvey. when does 'pre and post crisis' actually start bc its not at the crisis its issues after
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☆ de fontaine
{☆} characters furina {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings angst, suicidal thoughts, hurt / no comfort {☆} word count 1.4k
This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair!
She thought, for one moment, she could put the mask down and breathe – for one moment of daydreaming, she thought she could just be Furina. She thought she would finally get to live the live she should've had in the first place, the life she threw away to play God to an audience who saw her as nothing but a circus animal, dancing to their whims. Furina just wanted to be selfish for one brief and fleeting moment..and it was gone before she could even grasp it in her hand. A comet soaring past far out of her reach.
She can barely keep her hands from violently shaking as she looks down at them – broken and bloody and more a corpse then a person – and she feels so numb she can't even feel the rain pelting against her back. None of this is fair, she wants to scream, why is it always me? But her voice is silent beneath the torrent of rain. She wonders if the ocean would take her if she sank into it's depths – just for a moment, she wonders how it would feel to finally be able to sleep at ease.
Furina is tired.
But Furina is nothing if not useful, isn't she?
So she forces her feet to move, dragging against the stone beneath her heels, and drags their bloodied body into the nearest empty building, letting the rain do the work of washing away the smeared blood following her path. The smell makes her feel sick, the feeling of it sticking to her hands and gloves makes her lightheaded, but she persists. Because Furina is useful, because Furina won't let them die out in the rain, because Furina won't stand by and just let them rot on the streets like some..pest.
Furina wants to go home. She wants to sleep and she isn't she if she wants to wake up, this time. But she keeps going anyway.
Because it's all she's ever done, and the habit sticks.
An Archon she may not be, not anymore, but the expectations of five hundred years still linger like eyes on the inside of her skull. They watch her, pry and prod at her thoughts, mocking laughter and judging eyes following her as she forces herself to dance to the song they weave with glee. Furina never stepped off that stage – she's still there, she thinks, watching the crowd stare at her in disdain as the curtain call looms above her like a guillotine. She still hears Neuvillette deliver her damnation and salvation with a trembling voice, still feels her hair stand on end when electro crackled like the crack of the whip, Clorinde's blade aimed at her like a loaded gun.
She's trapped on that stage and she never left, not really.
She hates it. She thinks she hates them, but it's not their fault. They didn't ask for this, didn't ask for everyone to turn against them, didn't ask for her to save them. Neither did she..yet here they are, she thinks.
She tries to tell herself she's in control this time, though. She can stop performing her part in this horrible, bloody play any time she wants. It makes her feel better, just for a little while, if she convinces herself she's still Furina, painfully human.
And Furina has always been good at lying.
It's the believing that's the hard part.
There isn't time for her to wallow in her own self pity, though. They're still bleeding out onto the dusty, creaky floorboards of some random, broken down house and she's just standing there as the blood stains the wood. She can fix it – she's good at fixing things. She's done nothing but fix things – try to, anyway – for five hundred years. She can fix a little wound, how hard could it be? Her hands are clenched so tight they ache as she kneels down, wincing at the creak of the floorboards beneath her heels– she hesitates just long enough to wonder if she's making a mistake before she peels away just enough of the outer layer of their clothes to see the deep, bloody gash across their chest. She tries not to think about it – it's deep, too deep, and she feels dizzy just looking at it, but she's handled worse, right?
Furina can fix it. That's what she's good at.
She doesn't feel so confident when she tries to wrack her brain for..something. Five hundred years, and a little wound stumps her? No, she had to have learned something, right? She's decidedly not trying to buy time because she's panicking, parsing through hundreds of years of memories like flipping through a book. Furina isn't made for this, not really – she's running on nothing but adrenaline and she's really not sure what she's doing, but she's trying. And just like before, it won't be enough, will it?
She'll fall short again – she'll be too late to fix it before she's alone again.
Furina was an Archon..used to be. What use would she have for that sort of knowledge? Which makes her predicament all the more harrowing and bleak. What was she supposed to do?
Furina had heard it first hand, that vitriol in Neuvillette's voice. She isn't sure she's ever heard him that..angry before. She's not sure he would listen to her if she tried, either. And that scares her more then anything. All of Fontaine was up in arms about this..imposter, yet here she was, staring down at them bleeding out in front of her, and she was trying to save them.
Why? Why is she throwing away her only chance at normalcy for a fraud? Why didn't she just turn them in?
They were dying – that should've been a good thing, shouldn't it? So why didn't it feel like it?
"Why you?" Her voice breaks as she speaks in harsh tones, grabbing the front of their shirt in trembling, bloodied hands. "Why now?" She wants to scream, to demand answers they can't give, to claw back the reprieve she was promised after five hundred years of agony..and all she can do is sob into their chest, pleading for an answer that will not come. "Why me?"
Silence is their answer, and it hangs heavy on her trembling shoulders as she cries.
Of course they don't, she thinks bitterly, no one has ever answered her pleas spoken in hushed sobs. Not her other self and certainly not them.
Furina has always been alone. Furina will always be alone.
Because Furina never left that stage, never left that moment when she looked at herself in the mirror and took up a mantle too heavy for her to bear. She always finds her way back eventually. There's no one on the other side anymore – she stands alone on a stage, waiting for an inevitable end she isn't sure will come.
"Please," She pleads through tears and choked sobs, clinging to them like they are all that keeps her from sinking. "Please don't leave me, too." The words burn on her tongue – how pathetic is she that she craves companionship from the bloodied body of the imposter? Perhaps she's truly lost her mind after all these years..perhaps she's finally gone mad. She must have.
But their presence is like the first feeling of gentle warmth upon her skin as the sun crests the horizon, like the gentle lap of tides along her heels, the sway of branches and leaves as the wind blows through them like an instrument all it's own. They are the soothing sound of rain against the window as she watches the dreary skies in fond longing, the first bloom of spring as color blooms upon the landscape like paint had been spilled across the hills and valleys.
They are like the faint spark she carefully nurtures and stokes, so fragile even the smallest wind could blow it out like a candle. She cradles it within her palms, pleads with whoever will listen – prays that someone finally listens, because if not for her, then for them.
She's failed to protect too much already, let too many people with so much trust in her fall between the cracks of her fingers like grains of sand. She won't let them go – she can't.
If nothing else, if she couldn't be saved when she begged for salvation from that five hundred year long agony, even if she never got that chance..
Furina will make sure they do.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#fic tag#furina#so um. looks around. okay look. i know im like THE ts@r1ts@ dealer (censored so it doesnt show in tags. hopefully)#but the moment i saw furi in fontaine the day it released she became my fav even more then the tsaritsa SORRY SHES SO..#this is my love letter 2 furi (making her suffer unimaginable horrors)#open ended kinda in case i decide on making a sequel maybe#furi makes me feel cuteness aggression so bad i start acting like a rabid animal#furina the woman that you are. thats my girlprince meow meow id kill someone for her#playing her part as archon so well but being so horribly irrefutably human in every way..#five hundred years not even knowing what the real plan was. when it would end. knowing if she slipped up it was over.#and in the end almost no one knew what really happened. a select few people know the real weight of her sacrifice.#furina's story was always a tragedy. it was never going to be anything but a tragedy.#and thats one of the most tragic parts of it isnt it? she didnt know how itd end. she didnt know her story was always going to be a tragedy#furina never knew a thing. and still she did it for the people of fontaine and succeeded.#how do you define “yourself” when you havent existed for 500 years?#to be so selflessly human you give up “yourself” to save people who will never know of your sacrifice.#sometimes i think about the confrontation on the stage and have a week long mental breakdown#sacrificing EVERYTHING for fontaine and still. still! the people closest to you turn on you.#heavy on clorinde. she was as close 2 furi as neuvi fight me on this. i bite.#her bodyguard and friend and she ends up staring down her blade wondering if this is it. she failed. she failed them all#because even when faced with the trial. with losing everything. she still thought only about fontaine. oh furina.#do you think she has nightmares. wonders if she was never meant to win this game of g-ds. that her story was always meant to be a tragedy?#do you think she still wonders if she was ever meant to have a chance at a happy ending? a doomed tragedy from beginning to end
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My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)
When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.
She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.
She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.
She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.
...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.
Remember this line?
You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:
Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?
...YEP. 😈 (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)
As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.
She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.
I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.
...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.
I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.
And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.
She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.
During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.
She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.
But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.
Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.
...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?
But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.
If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.
I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.
She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.
Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.
So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.
She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.
For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.
She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.
But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.
If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.
But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.
He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.
He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)
She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.
He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.
Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.
They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.
None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.
It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.
Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.
She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.
She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...
She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.
I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.
How much he loves her.
And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.
Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.
It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.
She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.
I feel like this moment here...
-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.
Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.
And it's all thanks to Sonic.
If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.
Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.
He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.
Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.
Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.
They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.
"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"
"Wouldn't dream of it."
#piko rambles#sonic the hedgehog#amy rose#Meant to be platonic but I don't care if you tag as ship lol#I've been meaning to post something like this for the longest time now but never really got into posting it-#-because you guys REALLY hate seeing these two together for some reason.#Well not for SOME reason. There are valid reasons why you don't ship them. Everyone has valid reason why they don't ship this or that.#But sometimes those reasons can just sound so petty to me. Like the reason why is because Amy is a stalker or Sonic hates her which is FALS#Also those age gap arguments are understandable but so goddamn annoying sometimes. Maybe when they hit their late teens or early twenties-#then they can be together if they want to. Besides a good percentage of Sonic ships are better off if they waited til they're old enough im#I love them regardless of whether they're just friends or an awkward older cringe fail couple lmao#But them being just friends and hiding away all their emotions towards each other just to keep them safe and happy with them- 😭😭😭#Son/adow is my favorite ship of all time and sonamy is my favorite childhood ship/platonic ship because they both have one thing in common.#ANGST 😀#I've been thinking about Sonic and Amy's dynamic as of late and MAN-#Mixed with some personal headcanons of mine and their dynamic as of late just makes me so emotional.#Sonic and Amy have gotten so close now and it's so sweet but so heartbreaking at the same time when you think about it.#I'm so happy they are getting along better and being there for each other but there is so much to dissect here. So much to think about.#I might be a little silly but Amy losing her parents and being alone for so long and being the reason why she's always hanging onto Sonic-#-explains SOOOOOOOOO much about her. At least that's my headcanon for WHY that is.#Amy with abandonment issues speaks to me on a personal level. I'm always afraid of being forgotten or left behind by my family.#I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough no matter how hard I try. I do not blame Amy. I relate to her a lot. It's one of the many reasons#-why Amy is my favorite character besides Sonic and Shadow.#She fights hard to prove she's a valuable member of the team and hates getting left behind but despite all that she wasn't afraid to-#-express herself and her love for people. But after the Eggman War there was some changes that made her less expressive about her love.#Yeah she still loves Sonic but she doesn't admit it because none of that matters anymore and she thought that not being loved by Sonic#-is better than being loved since she nearly wasted her life loving someone who she thought has constantly bothered. 🥲#But I think after TMoStH I think she'll be less afraid of being expressive about it. She and Sonic are just so caring for each other 😭#I love these two way too much that when I think about them for too long I'll start SOBBING 😭😭 I'M EVEN SOBBING RIGHT NOW LMAO
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