#but the end result is good and we will not be tricked into a false sense of complacency by it anyway so

[wingsofhcpe]

GAY MARRIAGE LEGAL IN GREECE FUCKIN FINALLY LETS GO

[jayswritings13]

Total Drama: Behind the scenes

Note: Like most reality shows, I always thought that some of the things that we(the audience) saw on the show weren't exactly true. Reality shows are know to bend the truth for ratings, which I can defiantly see Chris doing. I also think that some seasons are more fabricated than others with either editing tricks or partially/totally false storylines

💗Masterlist | WIP Page | AO3

Total Drama Island

One of the lesser scripted and manipulated seasons, actually.

But not entirely 'reality' either

Chris had prescribed a role for everyone based on a little initial interview once they were accepted onto the show.

The longest of these meetings was LeShawna's, who absolutely had many words for Chris when he wanted her to be a 'Ghetto' stereotype in his words.

The shortest of these meetings was actually Tyler, who is pretty similar to his on screen persona.

Of course, with many of the contestants being from Toronto and Ottawa, Chris had to tell the others to pretend that they didn't know each other.

For the most part, Chris and the producers left their hands out of the romances.

The same can not be said for some immunities and the eliminations.

Since they were airing the episodes week after week in real-ish time, Chris and the producers were able to figure out who to keep on the island and who to kick off.

Despite being one of the most hated contestants with audiences, Chris and the producers were hell-bent on keeping Heather on the island for as long as they deemed it good enough for drama.

Heather was unaware of the strings being pulled behind the scenes until later in the season.

However, for the most part, eliminations were based on actual votes, with some input from Chris and the Producers ever now and again, like whenever Heather or Owen got really dangerously close to being voted off.

Everyone had to wear the same clothes when filming, but during off days, they wore whatever they wanted.

Speaking of schedule, challenges often were a day or two of filming, while the elimination ceremony often was a day or two after challenge.

Confessionals were not filmed until the end of the day, and as a refresher for everyone about what happened during the challenges and such Chris created talking points and questions for everyone.

In the beginning, no one really followed these, but as the season went on, they began to become to tired and anxious for their off day to care.

The whole two winners thing was actually a last minute decision from Chris and the producers.

They wanted to film two endings and play whichever one for the actual airing, but found that the fan base was pretty evenly split between Owen and Gwen, creating a long standing tradition of filming two endings every season.

The actual prize is given the fan favorite ending out of two about a week after filming ends.

Total Drama Action

More scripted and manipulated than the previous season.

Most of the filming rules stayed the same, like with the clothes and producer input.

This season had some producer input, such as creating Justin and Courtney as villains.

One thing that they did not anticipate was Lindsay making it as far as she did.

The producers noticed that some fans wanted to get little behind the scenes stuff on the show, so they set up the Aftermath show, which was still manipulated, but not as much as the the competition was.

Another result of this finding was the subplot with Owen creating more drama and being in kahoots with Chris.

One plot that they didn't expect was Chef and DJ working together, and while Chef was punished, he was also praised off camera by Chris and the Producers.

While Chris hated dealing with Courtney's lawyers all season, but dealt with it more and more since the tension between her and Duncan made the ratings go through the roof.

Chris was shocked and confused as fuck as to how Beth made it as far as she did.

Out of all the seasons, this season had the most of camer days, due to how lengthy and upgraded the challenge were compared to the first season.

The cast actually had a lot of fun during these off days.

Every week, they had a movie night, where they tried to find movies that matched their challenge.

Or at least for the most part.

Some of notable movies they watched were: Shawshank Redemption, The Little Mermaid, The Shining, Star Wars, The Breakfast Club, Karate Kid, Men in Black, Mulan, Mean Girls, Barbie, and Clueless.

The cast usually watched during that period between challenges and eliminations, so usually the losing team got to pick the movie.

Many of the cast did come really close with one another.

Like a surprising friendship that sort of bloomed was between Lindsay and Duncan, who did become closer and friendlier as the season went on.

Chris also liked this because when Courtney came back it drove her crazy.

Another unexpected friendship was between DJ and Heather, which the producers didn't do much with, but kept note off for the future.

The final two was going to be Harold and Duncan.

But Beth proved herself and worked hard, escaping many of the producer's traps and pushes toward elimination.

Total Drama World Tour

The cast had a lot of downtime during the filming of challenges, which allowed everyone chances to explore the countries they visited more than the show let on.

Challenges took a day or two to set up, sometimes more.

Like the Jamicia challenge took fucking forever, as they had to use whatever scraps were lying around.

Oh, yeah that money issue was only half true.

The actual issue was that the plane was old and was not in shape to make it to their next destination.

Not that anyone minded the extra vacation.

Some of the favorite places they got to explore were: New York City, Paris, Athens, Niagara Falls, and Hawaii.

Some places that were scrapped by Chris and the producers were: The Grand Canyon, Scotland Castles, Mount Rushmore, Brazil, and India.

Some more and more storyline were fabricated.

The love triangle was played up a lot more than in real life, as Gwen was not entirely interested know Duncan but into Courtney and the kiss that broke them up was between Gwen and Courtney.

In fear of the censors, Chris flipped it so that Gwen kissed Duncan, making sure that someone saw.

At first, he planned on Heather, Cody, or Alejandro seeing it, but Tyler actually worked fine.

The ratings for Team Victory were practically nonexistent until later when it was just Lindsay and DJ, which is why so many of their teammates were voted off fast.

Speaking of DJ, that friendship with Heather skyrocketed even further, convincing the producers to showcase some of it by editing and airing the footage of Heather helping DJ during the Newfoundland challenge to make it look more strategic than it was.

So everyone did sing, like Chris wanted, but Chris and the producers picked the song that was the best.

Most of the time, it was Team Amazon's song.

Some of the time, they stitched songs together.

Not to anyone's surprise, but the final two----totally rigged.

After watching how fans reacted to Alejandro and Heather's rivalry, making no contest who the producers wanted for the finale.

Or at the very least the final three.

Alejandro did get harmed during the finale, which was entirely unplanned.

BUT the ending scene of him being sealed in a robot suit was not real. The was just a fun joke for the credits.

Though, the prize money was actually destroyed by Ezekiel.

Speaking of which, the whole feral Ezekiel thing was made up.

Zeke did hide out in the plane after his elimination, but Chris and Producers decided to have a little fun, creating feral Zeke.

Total Drama Revenge of the Island

It was actually the Producer's idea to get a new cast.

Chris was not for this, but made a compromise with having the old contestants make appearances.

Due to this, the producers had a lot more say in which contestants get on the show compared to the first season, where Chris and Chef picked a majority of the cast.

The producers had no idea about the state Chris had the island in, until they watched the first episode.

All of those days campers had between challenges? Practically nonexistent this season.

With Chris blowing the budget for last season, the producers put much more of a time restraint on how much down time the cast has.

This honestly meant that the cast did not get many chances, if any, to really develop any bonds like the previous cast was able to.

And it shows on screen, which is what Chris tried to tell the producers, but they didn't care.

All of Mike's scenes with his personalities were filmed after the fact and in front of a green screen.

Mike was very uncomfortable with how DID/MPD was portrayed in the show, but made a deal with the producers that he would do the scenes if they donated to mental health causes.

The reason that the season can't seem to focus or pick an antagonist is solely on the producers.

They were trying to top Heather and Alejandro, so they picked out a few different possible contenders for the role, but they never actually picked a main one.

For many producers, Scott was considered the main antagonist and was actually supposed to be going against Zoey in the finale.

Once Zoey's popularity dipped, they went for the next best thing: Jo and Cameron.

Well, until Cameron stood up to Jo, kind of ruining the nice Arc they had going for him.

The only option after that was Lightning, who was really their last pick as an antagonist.

Seeing as the love triangle from World Tour was a ratings boost, they tried everything in their power to keep Anne Maria around to stir some drama up between Zoey and Mike.

Anne Maria originally quit in between the second and third episode, but the producers saw so many opportunities for her that they gave her a deal.

Total Drama All Stars

The most fabricated and manipulated season.

Everyone was just there for their promised little paychecks for doing what they were told.

It was really the only way that the producers could get the cast to do anything they wanted.

Gen 1 cast is so over it by now that they do not care and the Gen 2 cast is just so relieved to be off of a radioactive island, that they don't care either.

Once again, Chris and the Producers butt heads on who to actually bring back, mostly when it came to picking from the original cast.

Chris fought to have Noah, who had quickly became a fan favorite, and Harold join.

He also wasn't too keen on the theme of the season: Heroes vs Villains.

But, Chris let the Producers do what they wanted as long as he was given more time between challenges to set them up, film, and let some drama stir.

Which worked.....? Somewhat.

Everyone was so over it that they didn't even really want to stir up anything.

Though, unexpected friendships or acquaintances formed.

Like, Heather sort of tolerated Zoey this time around, even becoming semi-friendly.

Well as friendly as Heather could be

Scott and Duncan became fast friends, which surprised no one tbh

Alejandro didn't totally hate Cameron, finding him to be pretty good at handling a full intellectual conversation.

Not that Alejandro ever told him that.

Though, for the most part that offscreen magic that Chris wanted was gone.

Everyone was phoning it in and over it and it shows in the final product.

The final two were kind pulled out of a hat by showrunners once it got to the merge.

Although, they knew for sure that they wanted Mike to be one of the two.

They weren't sure who to cast as the other.

Their original picks were Alejandro, Country, and Duncan, but Alejandro and Duncan both have been finalists before and Courtney refused to even be in the finale, as it conflicted with the start of her Law School Semester.

Hence why those who didn't help were not present in the finale whatsoever.

Except for the balloons, which were added in post with CGI to create a reason for why only parts of the cast returned for the finale.

So, they settled for Zoey.

Total Drama Pahkitew Island

This season was the compromise for All Stars and getting half of the old cast back.

Chris was so over it and had no desire to ever remember the names of the contestants.

Cue cards and post audio edits fixed a lot of name mix ups.

This was also the behavior that caused producers to finally put an end to the show.

The producers found many of the auditions boring, so they reached out to a handful of them to see which ones they could make shit up for.

And to see who would be willing to go along with it.

The cast didn't get much time in between challenges to rest or talk or anything tbh.

This was the fastest season ever

The final two weren't even planned.

They kind of just voted people off to cause drama or karma as the show happened in real time.

Speaking of......the whole Scarlett thing.

Scarlett was the most willing to go along with any of the weird shit that the producers asked her to do, so when they asked her to be revealed as the villian and try to kill people, she was down.

This quick agreement made the producers have to check and make sure that she wasn't actually a murderous individual.

She wasn't; just a little too willing to do anything for money.

The couples of the season all were bribed to do their thing, and Shawn and Jasmine took full advantage of the money incentives to keep it going and drama fueled.

Sky and Dave were not as motivated near the end, which Sky wanted to stop because she felt guilty for her actual boyfriend at home watching her, but Dave refused to let it go, so he could continue to get the incentives.

Leading to the whole Sky and Dave mess.

It was also found afterwards that the producers.....experimented a lot while writing the episodes and coming up with ideas.

It shows.

Ridonculous Race

The Producers wanted a fresh start, settling on a new host and new batch of contestants.

Of course with some exceptions, such as Leonard, Geoff, Noah, and Owen.

All four were more than happy to come back and compete now that Chris was out of picture.

There was no pre-written finale they had in mind or drama.

But the auditions did tempt them for the longest time.

The drama pretty much wrote itself once they agreed on bringing on the Cadets, Ice Dancers, Daters, and Best Friends.

Though the places they visited, were complied based on some of the contestants favorite or dream destinations.

Kitty always wanted to go to Brazil

Geoff wanted to go to Paris ever since watching everyone else do so in World Tour.

Carrie had 'visit Hawaii' on her bucketlist for years.

Many genuine friendships were formed in between filming or while in transit to other locations. Some that were rather unexpected given the drama when the cameras were on.

Jaques and Ryan were pretty friendly with one another.

The surfers and the adversity twins hit it off right away as well.

Stephanie, Emma, Sanders, Tom, and Crimson were friendly-ish with one another, but literally talked all the time to one another, despite what they told others.

Rock, Chet, Kitty, and Devin all loved to swap stories of their crazy adventures.

Taylor, Josee, and Jen tolerated each other, just to share stories of being only children to one another.

Though, as it got closer and closer to the end, everyone's competitive side came out, leading to many of the friendships to fall through the cracks for the time being.

Many of the contestants loved getting extra time at locations.

Much like in World Tour, some of the destinations allowed for contestants to explore and have fun while setting up challenges.

Many of the secrets about Total Drama were spilled to others by Noah, Owen, and Geoff.

The surfer dudes winning was a joke among the cast that somehow made its way to the producers, who made it happen.

The finale was actually supposed to have the Sisters.

[savelockwoodandco]

Hi! Do you think the show has a good chance of being saved? It's been a month and 11 days since the cancellation and everytime I rhink about that it drives me crazy

Hi Anon, thanks for the question!

We've said a few times our feelings about the timeline, so I won't go super into-depth here, but we do want to reiterate that a month and change is not at all a long time for a show not to be picked up. Short of B99, shows just aren't picked up in their first month of cancellation, nor announced to be picked up.

This is going to be a months-long -- emphasis on the plural -- fight, but we are still fully confident that we're going to come out the victors. We haven't even hit a month and a half yet; these are early days. Let me state clearly again: we think the show has a great chance of being picked up, "even" at this stage.

However, we get that it can be discouraging, especially since in current culture there's a sense of "if it doesn't happen immediately it won't happen at all" that's rather pervasive, only getting more intense the younger the person in question is. That can make it hard to work towards a goal that doesn't have an end date and that'll take months.

So here's a fun little tidbit to keep our engines revved and moving: CF has been very, very quiet this last week.

Why is that a fun fact? Well, because CF has been relatively aware after the first week or so of the campaign with us fans.

On their Twitter -- which we know some people (Tumblr Mod included!) aren't really involved with -- CF tweeted the phrase "Nice Things" (their capitalization, not ours) with a piece of fanart. Afterwards, a tweet went around praising CF for their use of coded messages in Tweets -- which CF liked. Previous to this, CF had tweeted that they wouldn't try to trick us or falsely build us up, so this like had a number of heads scratching.

And since then, CF has been quiet.

There are so many reasons for a business to be loud on twitter -- it helps build their brand, they enjoy engaging with fans, they're having time between projects, etc etc. For a company as small as CF, it's likely that, unlike Netflix and other Giants, Someone from CF actually is in charge of the twitter, rather than a faceless intern. Many fans have theories on who it might be, but it's not the purpose of this post to speculate on that.

The important thing to note is that while there are many reasons to be loud, there's really only one reason to be quiet: they're busy.

Which is something very much in our favor.

We know that media business isn't something that everyone's interested in, so here's the facts: signing contracts for a show takes a long, long time. Signing contracts for renewing a show takes a long time as well. Meetings are scheduled, meetings to discuss those meetings are scheduled, both sides have to have separate meetings within their teams, then between teams, then company-wide, and then schedule follow-ups with the other party. It's a process and even if both parties (CF and whoever picks it up) agree immediately on terms, which never happens, contracts still have to be drafted, considered, debated, re-drafted...

It's a process, and we don't get to see any of it. Lucky for us, honestly, because it'd probably drive us crazy. The only thing we get to see is the end result -- the show being saved -- popping up like a bolt from the blue.

But we have to remember it's not from the blue, it's from weeks and weeks of hard work and negotiation. If CF is smart -- and CF is very, very smart -- talks of saving the show will include the ability to tell the whole story, whether that's negotiating for 2 more seasons, or for 1 season of ~16 or so episodes.

We have no say in contracts or anything like that for S2. What our presence does have a say in is helping out CF with negotiations. The louder, more passionate, more demonstrative, and yes, more consistent we are, the more negotiating power CF has. They have great numbers to present for the show itself, growing every day, but because of LockNation, they can demonstrate the ongoing market appeal of Lockwood & Co. That translates to the opportunity to earn more money and clout for whoever it is picks us up, and that puts CF is a very good position.

We're of the firm belief that the best mindset going forward is not "it's already been X amount of time", it's instead "it's only been X amount of time".

It's only been a month and 11 days.

The things we do help. The things we do matter. They will continue to matter as long as we do them.

So let's help our show out as best we can, and be cheerful about it. Take breaks -- please, please take breaks, or you'll go crazy -- and take care of yourself.

Good things are coming. Or, to use CF's words, Nice Things are coming.

[writerbuddha]

I don't understand, what did Lucas mean when he said that Padmé could never fall in love or live with Anakin because he was rationalizing what he was doing?

George Lucas tells us, people are doing evil things because they're controlled by their anger, hatred and aggression, all coming out of fear. This is the dark side, part of all that lives. What George Lucas means by saying, Padmé could never fall in love or live with Anakin because he is far too gone, because he is at a point where he was rationalizing what he was doing, it's that there is a categorical difference between someone being overwhelmed by his dark side resulting in terrible deeds that he, when these feelings and emotions are wearing off, becomes ashamed by and genuinely regrets, and someone ending up being ruled by his dark side to the extent where he believes, his horrible actions are justified.

Anakin become attached to the people he loved, which means, he felt that he would be unhappy without them being in his life, which always interlocked with the desire to avoid them leaving his life: the inability to let coming and passing things to come and go, grasping, clinging, grabbing, holding on to things, trying to have, to possess. That's attachment. Once he became attached to Shmi and Padmé, he became afraid of losing them. In Attack of the Clones, when his mother was killed by the Tuskens, his mind was flooded by anger over losing her, the anger over being robbed from the source of his happiness, and it resulted in revenge. His angry mind tricked him into seeing the situation as narrow, limited, exaggerated, permanent, and from that point of view, massacring the entire Tusken camp was an appropriate response. But when this storm of anger wore off, his point of view widened again, and he realized, he had done a horrible thing and he was ashamed and tormented by it.

Humans are like the sky. We always have our light side, the clear sky, and the dark side, the storm clouds within ourselves. When the dark clouds are taking over, there is a storm, but when the sky is cleared, we are fine. The sky itself didn't become less bright or tainted with dark. What people struggle to understand is that after the Tusken massacre, Anakin didn't change. He didn't become less good, there was no stain on him. When the storm clouds went away, he was his old self once again. This is why Padmé is able to stay by his side and this is what allows her to console him by telling him, "to be angry is to be human." And this is the same reason why Luke is able to bring him back in Episode VI. You're not either this or that. Whether or not you are a "good person" doesn't depend on whether or not you abstained from certain actions in your life, that is a very legalistic approach to this. You're a "bad person" when your "bad side" is in charge and you are a "good person" when your "bad side" is under control. Padmé fell in love with the version of Anakin who has some trouble with keeping his storm clouds under check, but who is trying to tame them and to keep his sky clear. The lesson here is that the idea that people have some kind of essential quality that either prevents them from doing evil things or making them prone to commit horrible acts, is false. It's like the proverb about the good wolf and the bad wolf within you, and fighting to control you, and the one you feed the one who will prevail. In Episode II, the bad wolf temporarily got the upper hand because it was feeding on Anakin's attachment to Shmi, and it grow stronger, feeding on Anakin's attachment to Padmé.

In Revenge of the Sith, however, when Anakin realized that Padmé was going to die, his mind become characterized by fearful grasping: his fear of losing her, the fear of losing the happiness she means to him, and wanting to prevent that loss to happen with him, and he ended up in a state where he told Darth Sidious, "I will do whatever you ask. Just help me save Padmé's life. I can't live without her." And when he was ordered to murder the Jedi, he did it. He was still sad about it, he didn't enjoy it, but his greed - fear of losing the things he loves - has taken over to the extent that he said, it's justified. And when he has a brief moment of realization, understanding that he is lying to himself, he concludes, there is no way to go back, he can only go further on this path, even he doesn't necessarily agree with it. Padmé could never fall in love with this version of Anakin, the person who he is in Episode III, nor she could live with him. Because there was a shift. "You have changed" she tells him, and she is right. There is no longer an effort there to clear the sky, because he got stuck in the storm, in the narrow, self-centered, limited and exaggerated point view, and he says himself, "from my point of view, the Jedi are evil" and whatever he was doing was completely righteous. He is no longer Anakin Skywalker of the clear sky trying to keep the clouds in check, he is Darth Vader of the storm, consuming the clear sky. Sure, there are patches of clear sky there, in the same way there were patches of dark clouds on the clear sky, there is a potential for him to turn the tide, this is why he comes out of the storm in Episode VI, but in Episode III and IV and V, the dominant side of him is no longer the light side, but the dark side. The bad wolf is crushing the good wolf to the ground, so to speak, he is in charge now, and he won't admit that he is doing anything wrong. Padmé is loyal to the good wolf, she's in love with the good wolf, even if he's struggling to keep the bad one down, but she can't fall in love or live with the bad wolf.

[walker-extended-universe]

It Started in the Cabin, Chapter 1

Relationship(s): Trevor Strand/Stella Walker, August Walker & Stella Walker, Cordell Walker & Stella Walker, Geri Broussard & Stella Walker

Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe, Teen Pregnancy, Pregnancy, Morning Sickness, Awkward Conversations, Pregnancy Tests, Angst, Angst and Feels, Family Feels

Summary: What if Stella got pregnant from her and Trevor's tryst at the cabin?

Written for @febuwhump Prompt 8: "Why won't it stop?"

Taglist: @theladywyn, @ihavepointysticks, @klaatu51, @itsjessiegirl1, @neptunium134

-------

When she first started feeling under the weather, Stella didn’t think much of it. The past few weeks had been nothing short of exhausting. Losing Trevor, finding him again, trying and failing to run away, having her family held hostage, almost losing Liam, completely losing Hoyt, and losing Trevor again….. It was like one long nightmare and the grief that followed seemed like it would never let up.

So feeling a little sick wasn’t exactly unexpected. Even her period being off by a few days didn’t strike her as odd. It happened during times of stress.

But when the end of the month rolled around and her period still hadn’t come and she was still feeling less-than-great, she got worried.

Freshman year sex ed hadn’t been the most educational experience but Emily had made sure both of her kids understood more than just the basics required of the US education system. She knew her symptoms weren’t sure signs of pregnancy (the female body was horrifically misunderstood by the medical community) but given her recent sexual history… It couldn’t hurt to check.

The trick would be checking without anyone finding out. She did not want to see how her dad would react to finding a pregnancy test in the trash, regardless of the result. But she didn’t want to be stuck finding out life-altering news in a public bathroom either. Which left her with…

The Side Step. Surely being an “owner” (well, future owner once she was a legal adult) gave her the right to commandeer a bathroom.

She went out, lying about meeting up with some friends, and bought two pregnancy tests from a corner store, just in case she got a false reading on the first one. Then, she drove to the bar and parked her car as discreetly as possible. She frowned at all the cars currently in the lot. She’d tried to time it so she’d be there when the bar wasn’t too busy but it looked like she was wrong. Grabbing the bathroom may be harder than she thought.

She slipped inside anyway. Then, she saw August bussing a table and got an idea.

She sidled up to up as he headed for the kitchen. “Do you think you could take a break right now?” she asked quietly.

He glanced at her quizzically but nodded. “Sure. Why?” 

“Meet me in the bathroom and I’ll explain. Oh, and bring a water bottle.”

“Stel, what-”

But she was already gone, off to the back of the bar where the ladies’ room was. Thankfully, it was empty and there was no line. She leaned on the edge of one of the sinks until August came in.

“What’s going on?” he asked, handing her the water bottle.

Stella sighed. “I… It might be nothing but…. I think I’m pregnant and I needed a safe place to take a test without Dad freaking out.”

“Jesus, Stel.” August leaned against the wall. “I- Okay. And you thought this would be a good place to do it?”

“I didn’t think it’d be this busy…”

“It’s 4 o’clock on a Friday,” he deadpanned. “You’re lucky that meant Aunt Geri was too busy to see you come in.”

“Yeah, I know.” She sighed. “Look, I’ve gotta chug this water and wait for the test results. Do you think you could… I don’t know, stand guard or something?”

August shook his head and turned the little lock on the door. “I’m not leaving you alone for this. We should be okay in here for a while.”

Stella smiled. “Thank you.”

Now it was just a waiting game. Waiting to need to pee, waiting for the results, all while hoping no one bothered them.

It was agony.

“It’ll be okay,” August promised as the timer ticked down. “Whatever happens, we all have your back.”

Stella cut him a look. “Really? You think Dad won’t have a conniption if I am pregnant? And what about Mawline?”

“Okay, yeah, they’ll freak,” he admitted. “But they’ll come around. They always do.”

“I hope you’re right.”

All too soon and not soon enough, the timer beeped. The results were ready.

Her hands shook as she flipped the tests over. Both were positive.

“Fuck.”

“Stel, it’s okay-”

“No, it’s not!” She put her hands up and tugged on her hair. “This is so far from okay. I’m pregnant, Auggie! Pregnant! Dad’s gonna freak, Mawline’s gonna freak, Gramps is gonna freak- What am I even gonna do? Am I ready to be a mom? Would Dad even let me keep it? What-”

“Hey, hey, take it easy.” August grabbed her arms and stilled her, pulling her into a hug. “It’s gonna be okay. We’ll figure it out. We always do.”

Stella hugged back, burying her face in his chest. “I hope you’re right.”

—--

“You really should tell them,” August said, leaning on the doorway to Stella’s room.

She groaned. “Auggie, we both know how that’s gonna go.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t tell them.”

“I know. And I will. I just….” she sighed. “I just know they’re gonna start pushing me to figure out what I want to do about the baby right away and I just- I want to have some answers ready first.”

“And when is that gonna be? It’s not like you can keep this a secret forever.”

“You don’t think I know that?” she snapped. “I just- I need time to process first. Once I have some things figured out…. Then I’ll tell them.”

It would be easier if she could talk to Trevor. But he was in jail and he wouldn’t be getting out anytime soon and she wasn’t even sure how to tell him, not to mention the whole issue with him helping his dad take her family hostage and making her question everything she knew about him. There was a reason she kept dodging his calls. But a small part of her thought that if she just knew how he felt about it… Maybe that would make it easier to decide how she felt about it.

“Okay,” August said. “Just… don’t wait too long. It’ll only get worse if you do.”

“I know.”

Then, out of nowhere, Dad came up the stairs and told them they were going on an adventure to pick up Uncle Hoyt’s forgotten items at some homestead property he never got to finish buying.

—-----

Finding the little animal family Hoyt had put together was a blessing Stella didn’t know she needed. For once, there was something to think about, to talk about besides her grief and her secret.

Unfortunately, that also led them to a conflict when Dad insisted they couldn’t take the llama back to the ranch with them. “We can’t just give him away!” she insisted. “He’s- He’s Hoyt’s. And the mare’s all family bonded with him so- You can’t just give away her kid!”

“Stella,” he said firmly. “I know all that. But you know Gramps won’t keep a llama on the property. It’s probably better if we find a place that will keep the little guy now before-”

“Gramps can deal with it!” she snapped. “We can at least board the little guy for a few days. And Mawline will want to keep him. It- You can’t just split them up for no reason!”

“Stella, that’s enough.” Dad wasn’t giving in. “I know you don’t like this but we’re just not equipped to take care of him. We passed a place a few miles back that will probably take him in. It’s better this way, I promise.” He took the lead from her hand and started leading the llama away, apparently ignoring the animal’s cries.

She looked away and furiously rubbed tears from her eyes. Stupid pregnancy hormones.

“You okay?” August muttered.

“No.” She huffed. “Let’s just go. It’s getting late; the horses need rest.” She urged her horse forward.

“Hey….” Geri same up beside her. “Are you okay? I know this has been a bit of a rough day. If you need to talk…. I’m here.”

Oh, there was so much Stella wanted to talk about. So much she needed to talk about. Things she couldn’t really talk to Dad or August about. If anyone could help her get some perspective on this whole pregnancy mess, it would be Aunt Geri.

“Uh, actually… Could we talk? Later? Once we find a place to stay the night?”

Geri seemed surprised but nodded. “Sure, definitely. Just let me know when you’re ready.”

—------

Stella gently pet her horse’s neck and fed him an apple she got from the owner of the barn they were staying in for the night. In the stall next to her, Dad struggled to get the mare settled down. “She’s freaking out about somethin’; maybe there’s a mouse….”

“She’s probably wondering where her kid is,” Stella muttered.

Dad sighed. “Stel, not this again. I-”

“You did what you had to do. The responsible thing. I get it. Doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.” 

Once the horse was done eating, she left the stall and stormed up to the loft. August had found a little corner to snuggle in and Geri was setting out hay on the other side of the loft. Stella quietly stepped over to her side and sat next to her. “Can we talk now?”

Geri looked up and nodded. “Yeah, of course. What did you want to talk about?”

“Okay so….” Stella chewed her bottom lip. “Remember that trip I took with Trevor to his family’s cabin?”

“...Sure. What about it?”

“Well….” She took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”

Geri nodded slowly. “Okay. I’m guessing that has a little something to do with the tears earlier?”

Stella shrugged. “Probably. It’s also just…been a day.”

“Right. Okay.” Geri straightened up and checked behind Stella. “Does your father know?”

She shook her head. “No, just August. He was there when I took the pregnancy tests.”

“Okay. I’m guessing you haven’t seen a doctor about it either.”

“I…I thought I’d have to tell Dad first….” Should she have already seen a doctor? Was she already messing it all up?

“Yeah, no, that was probably smart. It’d probably be weird to schedule one without telling him what was going on.” Geri smiled reassuringly. “So…. Have you thought at all about what you want to do with the baby? It’d probably be a good idea to get that down before you get a bunch of opinions from your family.”

Stella shook her head. “I’ve thought about it. I just… I don’t know what I want. I know the smart thing to do would be to… to give the baby up up. Let an adult with more money and life experience than me take care of them and give myself time to grow up more. I just…. I’m not sure if that’s what I want. And what about Trevor? I mean, this is his kid too….”

“It’s a lot to think about,” Geri agreed. “But, for what it’s worth, you don’t necessarily have to give them up. You have a lot of adults around you who would happily take care of your baby and still let you be part of their life.”

Stella hadn’t even thought about that. “I… I’ll think about it.”

“You do that.” Geri squeezed her arm reassuringly. “And whenever you’re ready to tell your dad and everyone… Just let me know. I’ll be your backup.”

Stella smiled. “Thanks, Aunt Geri. I have a feeling I’m gonna need it.”

“You definitely will. But it’ll be okay.” Geri hugged her tight and pat her back. “Now go get some sleep. You’ll need it for tomorrow.”

“‘Mkay.” Stella yawned and crawled over to where August was already sound asleep.

—-----

The next morning, after breakfast, the four of them headed out- with a few extra guests.

“I still can’t believe I went back for this thing,” Dad muttered, holding the llama’s lead.

“Aw, you’re such a good dad.” Geri laughed.

“Hey, at least we got a cute baby out of it,” August said, holding the newborn in his lap as they rode.

Stella couldn’t stop smiling. “The family’s all together. As it should be.”

It only got better when they got back to the ranch and found out they would be allowed to keep the llamas, which were apparently alpacas, in a new stable Gramps built for them.

She helped get the family settled in. As she fed the baby grass from her hand, something clicked in her heart.

She was going to keep this baby.

Maybe she wasn’t fully ready to be a mom. Maybe she didn’t completely understand what she was signing up for in keeping them. But she knew she wanted to do the right thing; she wanted to keep her family together. It wasn’t going to be easy. There were going to be a lot of people telling her to make a different, more “responsible” choice.

But she was going to do this. She knew she could. She had August and Aunt Geri on her side. And the rest of them would come around. Eventually. They had to, right?

—-----

Even though Stella had made a decision on what she wanted with the baby, she still didn’t know how to tell the family. August was right; she shouldn’t wait too long. And she knew she’d have Aunt Geri’s support when she did. She was just…nervous.

What if they didn’t come around after the initial freakout. What if Dad tried to force her to give up the baby? What if they made her do some religious counseling? What if they never saw her as an adult after this?

What if she ended up alone in all this?

It was enough to keep her quiet during the day and up late during the night.

But something had to give eventually.

That something was a horrible bout of nausea that had Stella out of bed and bolting down the hall at 3 in the morning. She barely made it to the toilet in time to throw up her guts there. As she hugged the toilet, it didn’t take long for much heavier steps to follow her.

“Oh, Stella….”  She felt her dad’s rough hands pulling her hair back. “Easy, easy, it’s okay,” he soothed, rubbing her back.

She groaned and sat back against him, taking a moment of comfort.

“Do you feel okay?” he asked gently. “I mean, besides the puking. You got a fever or anything?”

She shook her head, racking her brain for a non-pregnancy explanation. “I think I just ate something bad,” she muttered.

“Yeah, alright.”

Stella groaned as another wave of nausea hit and she bent over the toilet again. “Why won’t it stop?” she whined.

“I know, babygirl. I’m sorry. I’ll get you some medicine and you can stay home and rest today, okay?”

She nodded meekly, knowing it wasn’t that simple. She made a mental note to text Aunt Geri later. With the morning sickness starting, she wouldn’t be able to hide for much longer.

She was going to have to break the news to everyone, finally.

[commentaryvorg]

The Great Ace Attorney Final Trial Commentary: Day 1, Part 2

This is an ongoing mini-commentary covering the final trial of The Great Ace Attorney (Resolve) in line-by-line detail. It’s written from a perspective of already knowing the full truth of things, so there will be spoilers for facts that only get revealed later on in the trial. This is not a commentary to read along with one’s first playthrough!

(The commentary will update on Tuesdays and Saturdays. Check this blog to find any other parts currently posted, and if it’s not yet finished, follow to catch future updates!)

Now that we’re below the readmore, I can add that this isn’t quite a commentary for everything going on in the final trial. It’s focused specifically on Kazuma and what’s going on in his head, only covering things which are relevant to him in some way (for the most part). I already had a lot to say about him in a big analysis post over on my main blog – but I have even more to say about him during the trial in even more detail, so here we are!

We’re resuming just past the save point as we begin cross-examining the redheads whom Gregson was apparently investigating the day before his body was found – which is a line of questioning that was definitely 100% Ryunosuke’s idea and not at all something he was subtly led into proposing by a Kazuma who knows full well that it’ll result in a dead end.

--- Testimony 4 ---

This is irrelevant to anything else, but I need people to know that the university of Temsik, which the two redheads went to together, is a very clear reference to Ghost Trick. If you haven’t played Ghost Trick, please play Ghost Trick it is so good. It’s even out in HD now, so it’s readily available!

De Rousseau:  “It was a plan most elegant, non?” Kazuma:  “No, it was most dishonourable.”

Look at Kazuma making a point that underhanded deceptions like this are dishonourable. (And nobody think too hard about the fact that he’s been doing quite a few underhanded deceptive things himself lately, it’s fine.)

Kazuma:  “This confidential document was obtained directly from Scotland Yard. It records an entry from the inspector’s private diary dated the day before the incident. It reads, ‘Lime Street, Red-Headed League, Undercover’.”

Here is an actual reason, completely misleading red wig aside, to assume that Gregson would have been at Lime Park on that day. And yet, Kazuma didn’t bring that up before the recess, because he wanted to make it look like suggesting this line of enquiry was Ryunosuke’s idea and not his own.

Kazuma, of course, knows full well this diary entry is false… but he’s got to be genuinely wondering why Gregson had a diary entry claiming he would be here in particular as a cover story. He’s bound to be at least a little bit curious as to if anything’s going on there (even though he definitely does not know that Gregson outright had someone impersonate him as an alibi, based on his reactions to that reveal later).

Ryunosuke:  (There’s no question that Inspector Gregson was investigating the Red-Headed League.)

But at least Kazuma’s information has got Ryunosuke convinced that Gregson was definitely there in the park that day, and not at all anywhere else such as with Kazuma on a ship to France.

I enjoy the part where both Ryunosuke and Kazuma tag-team desk slam to intimidate the redheads into admitting what they just accidentally let slip. Both are equally exasperated by these dumbass witnesses’ shenanigans, and they’re almost working together to get the truth!

Judge:  “Counsel, no incognito inspector would offer his identification for inspection. It’s quite out of the question.” Kazuma:  “Definitely. Why would he expose his true identity?”

Kazuma looks deep in thought as he says this. On the surface, he’s happy to agree with the judge, because this supports his case that Gregson wasn’t there – but on the other hand, he’s got to be busy wondering what on earth was going on with this supposed inspector there that day.

Kazuma:  “Don’t be ridiculous. No Scotland Yard detective would allow his – or her – identification to be stolen.” Gina:  “Hold it! That… that… That IS the boss’s! …No question about it.” Kazuma:  “It can’t be!”

Kazuma seems confident as he’s trying to refute this idea, because he’s sure the truth is on his side – and then he’s very shocked to learn that the ID is the real deal. He knows that Gregson wasn’t there, but apparently his actual genuine ID was there, somehow, despite that?

Kazuma:  “Unable to… You’re, you’re not suggesting…?” Ryunosuke:  “Yes! It’s quite possible that he was killed before he had the chance to report his identification stolen!” Kazuma:  “No!”

Kazuma’s “No!” here is really intense, and there’s a lot he’s not saying behind it. He knows for a fact that Gregson could not possibly have been killed by these redheads, but right now the evidence is making it look like he was. This isn’t just a “no” of “oh no, this hurts my case”, this is a “no” of “No, that’s not what happened at all!” If things continue like this then van Zieks is going to be found innocent based on something completely false, and Kazuma is helpless to explain how wrong it is without incriminating himself.

Kazuma:  “But you will tell everything! …Or face the worst possible outcome.”

Kazuma’s getting very forceful at the redheads. He needs them to stop hiding things and tell the whole truth in their next testimony, so that it can be firmly established that Gregson did not die in their company that day like Kazuma knows for certain he didn’t but cannot say himself.

(He’s not saying it in so many words, but he is essentially threatening them with capital punishment here. This is not the only time Kazuma uses that as a threat to witnesses who are hiding the truth from him.)

--- Testimony 5 ---

Kazuma:  “It would appear then, that on the day before the incident… the man who visited the park on Lime Street posing as an incognito inspector… was not Inspector Gregson at all!” Ryunosuke:  “Objection! If that’s true, however, how do you explain the inspector’s identification?” Kazuma:  “…!” Ryunosuke:  “This is a genuine identification book, issued by Scotland Yard. It’s inconceivable that someone could have stolen such an important item from the inspector. The prosecution made that assertion itself!” Kazuma:  “…!”

Whoops. Kazuma was happy to make that assertion when it helped his case, to write off the redheads’ testimony as obviously nonsense, but it’s suddenly not so helpful now that it allows them to continue to think that maybe the man they kidnapped was really Gregson.

(Still, Kazuma is the one gaining ground here, since mislaid ID is easier to explain away than a disappearing bruise, and he’s definitely glad about that.)

Ryunosuke:  “…the person who these two red-headed men took prisoner that day cannot have been Inspector Gregson.” Kazuma:  “In other words, your whole argument up to now has been a waste of time.”

Wow, Kazuma did not remotely hesitate to point that out the moment Ryunosuke conceded this. He really was waiting for this all along, knowing that it would be proven sooner or later, so that he could make the court see just how pointless it was for him to entertain Ryunosuke’s conjecture that maybe van Zieks didn’t do it. Again: see why he wanted to lead Ryunosuke into suggesting this avenue, so that it would seem like Ryunosuke’s wasteful idea.

(And yet, who really wasted the court’s time by subtly leading us onto an entire line of enquiry he knew full well would amount to nothing, Kazuma?)

Ryunosuke:  “During his testimony earlier… I noticed something around the man’s neck: a red ring of bruising!” […] Kazuma:  “What?!”

Haha, Kazuma didn’t notice the bruise on Gossip, because Ryunosuke’s observation skills really are a lot better than his!

--- Testimony 6 ---

Ryunosuke:  (Ugh. Isn’t there anyone in this courtroom who thinks I might be onto something?) Susato:  “I stand steadfastly at your side as always, Mr Naruhodo!” Kazuma:  “………”

Aww, I enjoy the pan to Kazuma’s silence there. It’s not only Susato – Kazuma definitely also believes Ryunosuke must be onto something here, because his best friend always is.

Ryunosuke:  “The victim’s body was discovered… in your rented room!” Gossip:  “………” Kazuma:  “I suggest, sir… that you start talking!”

Kazuma’s getting worked up again here. He may be completely convinced that van Zieks did the murder, but suddenly here’s the man who’s renting the room that’s the Reaper’s hideout, so surely he’s got to know something important and be connected to all of this somehow.

Kazuma doesn’t noticeably react to hearing that Boone is in fact Daley Vigil, or even that Vigil used to work as chief warder at Barclay Prison. But…

Ryunosuke:  “Well, it’s been ten years since Mr Vigil worked at the prison.” Kazuma:  “Ten years?”

As soon as he hears it was ten years ago that his employment there ended, he takes notice. Based on his reaction here, I don’t think he knew until right now that Daley Vigil was someone connected to his father’s execution.

Vigil:  “Yes, it’s true… I am Daley Vigil.” Kazuma:  “And you were the chief warder at Barclay Prison ten years ago…? ………”

And all of a sudden, that’s the only detail about this man that Kazuma cares about. His silence there comes with a screen shake, as if everything’s shifting itself around in his head as he realises that this man isn’t just some witness, just some guy who for some reason rents the room used as the Reaper’s hideout – he might well be the one who faked his father’s execution.

I did assume at one point, while I was trying to figure out Kazuma’s approach to this trial, that he’d already been looking into his father’s execution and already knew to look for a Daley Vigil. But this reaction of his pretty much confirms that he had no idea it was this man until now. Either he tried to look into it but couldn’t get Governor Caidin to reveal much to him (no surprise when his surname is Asogi), or perhaps, Kazuma didn’t want to look too closely into the part of the case where his father might have done something underhanded himself.

Vigil:  “I was to… impersonate the inspector.” Kazuma:  “What?! Impersonate him?!”

Kazuma is also very shocked to learn that Gregson personally asked someone to impersonate him. At that one point, I was also assuming that maybe Kazuma had learned about Vigil being Gregson’s alibi man from Gregson himself… but here it’s pretty clear that that is not the case. Which is fair enough, because that’s not something Gregson would likely tell anybody else if he could help it.

Kazuma:  “Well… it would seem this confession completely destroys the defence’s case.”

Yes, Kazuma. Sure. Completely destroys it. There is definitely not a single chance that van Zieks is innocent now, never mind the still-very-convincing argument Ryunosuke made about the scene at Fresno Street being a setup.

Kazuma:  “My learned friend’s assertion was as follows: The victim was killed at another location on the day before his corpse was discovered… at the hands of these two Red-Headed League men when they imprisoned the inspector.”

That wasn’t really Ryunosuke’s assertion. Mostly he was just asserting that Gregson was killed somewhere else by somebody. He never latched that strongly onto the idea that it was the redheads in particular. But, conveniently for Kazuma, there was that one point earlier on where Ryunosuke at least suggested that might have happened, to explain why Gregson couldn’t report his ID missing once it was stolen.

So clearly, that was the argument Ryunosuke was totally making the whole time, and since it wasn’t the redheads who killed Gregson at all, that must mean it was definitely van Zieks, no other possibility. Never mind the question of where Gregson really was on the 31st, which Kazuma is fully aware of. No. If Gregson wasn’t killed in a place he wasn’t even present at on the 31st, clearly it means he wasn’t killed on that day at all and Ryunosuke proposing as such was just wasting our time.

This is exactly the outcome Kazuma was expecting when he led the court – and Ryunosuke – into pursuing this redheads dead end, and he is doing a startlingly good job of making it seem like it matters to the question of whether van Zieks killed Gregson.

Still, as Ryunosuke freaks out about this (he doesn’t realise the obvious logical fallacy in Kazuma’s carefully-worded shut-down, because he idolises Kazuma and Kazuma wouldn’t be so obviously wrong, right?) and we get a wide shot of the entire courtroom… Kazuma’s pose isn’t confident; it’s thoughtful. This was supposed to be nothing but a diversion to manipulate the court into thinking his case held more weight than Ryunosuke’s, but… it unexpectedly brought him a very important lead about his father’s case, one he can’t let go without pursuing.

So, of course, as the judge is about to call an end to Vigil’s cross-examination, Kazuma interrupts.

Kazuma:  “I want to know… exactly what your involvement was.” Vigil:  “Oh!” Kazuma:  “Answer me, man!”

And of course he’s being especially forceful here. He has to know the truth of that execution. (Never mind the part where it might reveal that even his father was involved in underhanded dealings, just don’t think about that—)

Judge:  “Is this related to the current case?” Kazuma:  “……… Naturally. It is the prosecution’s belief that this case and the events of ten years ago… are inextricably linked.”

Kazuma’s not making this up. With what he knows about Gregson helping to frame his father, and about an exchange assassin mastermind – who is also bound to be the same person as the Reaper mastermind – wanting Gregson silenced, he knows that the real motive for this murder is inextricably linked to Gregson’s role in his father’s death ten years ago. He just… hasn’t got around to revealing any of that yet, not when he’s still going with the totally false idea that van Zieks’s motive was simply Gregson discovering his hideout. But he fully intends to reveal the whole story, in time!

Ryunosuke:  (Kazuma… You’re not yourself. You’re not as calm and collected as usual.)

Aww, Ryunosuke knows his friend, and he can just tell that Kazuma’s been a lot more forceful and desperate in this trial so far than he’d ever usually be.

Susato:  “Poor Kazuma-sama. No wonder he’s acting this way. Mr Vigil’s memories of what happened ten years ago… would tell the tale of Genshin Asogi’s final moments. His own father…” Ryunosuke:  “I know. I do understand that.” (But even so…)

And aww, both Susato and also Ryunosuke can empathise with why Kazuma’s feeling this way. But even then… Ryunosuke still has a strong sense of what’s appropriate in a court of law, and dredging up your issues about your father’s death in a seemingly completely unrelated trial isn’t it.

Ryunosuke:  “Kazu— Prosecutor Asogi.” Kazuma:  “…!” Ryunosuke:  “Do you genuinely believe… that this question requires an answer in order to learn the truth behind Inspector Gregson’s death?” Kazuma:  “I need you to trust me. …Please.” Ryunosuke:  “……… Very well. Then the defence has no objection.”

Aww! Kazuma asking Ryunosuke to trust him that this is relevant, because he really does have good reason to think so but he can’t reveal any of it just yet. And Ryunosuke, despite recognising how emotional Kazuma’s getting over this, does trust that his friend has some actual reason to believe this is connected!

Also the way Ryunosuke initially goes to call him “Kazuma” as if he’s trying to talk to his friend on a close, emotional level, but then stops and corrects himself to the proper courtroom language of “Prosecutor Asogi”, because what he’s really asking is for Kazuma to put aside his personal feelings for the sake of courtroom etiquette. Aaa, my heart.

Vigil:  “The, the truth is… I remember very little of that time.” Kazuma:  “You’ve forgotten?!”

Kazuma has another strong reaction to this. On the one hand he must be frustrated that the answers he so desperately wants might not even be accessible. But on the other hand, maybe this is also making him think that, huh, forgetting important things, he has a bit of his own experience with that, doesn’t he.

Vigil:  “As I said, I resigned from my role at the prison ten years ago. But for some peculiar reason… my memory of the events leading up to that moment is extremely hazy.” Kazuma:  “………”

Kazuma’s also shown reacting silently to this. He’s bound to be thinking about what he knows it means, to have forgotten something so very important and likely painful.

Ryunosuke and Susato discuss between them that Vigil’s statement about resigning is strange, because they know that he was in fact fired. Kazuma does not have that piece of information as evidence – and yet, he’s already figured out exactly what’s going on in Vigil’s head.

Kazuma:  “The human spirit is a fragile thing. It’s broken all too easily. Which is why… we have a tendency to wrap it up for protection.” […] Kazuma:  “When we experience pain and suffering that we feel unable to bear… we block it out. Obliterate it from our memories. Seal it away. But it never truly leaves us. If the seal is broken, the memories resurface. And when they do… that fragile spirit may finally be crushed.”

Kazuma’s speech here is so heartbreakingly telling. The language he uses is so evocative, with “we” phrasings making it seem so much more personal. And the fact that he even realised, so quickly, that this trauma-driven amnesia is what Vigil’s going through also says so much. Kazuma’s amnesia was driven by trauma, too, and on some level, he’s realised that. But this is the closest he’s ever going to be able to get to admitting that. He’s talking about himself just as much as he’s talking about Vigil in these words.

Susato:  “Kazuma-sama…”

Susato is shown reacting to his speech, making me think that she’s picking up on how this is a lot more personal for Kazuma than he might want it to seem. She of all people has enough emotional intelligence and empathy for him that I can definitely buy her noticing this.

Kazuma:  “But if it must be crushed, then so be it! Because the truth will not stay buried! It’s coming out… one way or another!”

And yet, despite (or perhaps because of) his own experience with this, Kazuma is so fervently certain that revealing the truth is worth the pain it brings. He must have been in agony when he regained his own memories – but even worse would have been the realisation that he’d ever forgotten about something so very important. Nothing matters more than the truth – at least, to Kazuma, when it’s the truth about his father. No matter how much it hurts.

Susato:  “………”

Susato is still staring at Kazuma with tears in her eyes. I think she really does Get It about what he’s gone through himself. Bless Susato.

Ryunosuke:  “This is a dismissal notice ordering the immediate termination of a prison staff member’s employment.” Kazuma:  “A dismissal notice…?”

(Confirming: Kazuma indeed did not know about Vigil’s dismissal, and yet, he still figured out he had amnesia before anybody else.)

Even the way Vigil clutches his head and sways as his memories begin to come back to him is similar to what Kazuma briefly did during the cutscene when he regained his own.

Kazuma:  “Clearly… you did something.” [he slams his desk] “Mr Vigil! It’s time to break the seal and have you remember!”

Ugh, he’s still being so forceful about this, despite knowing exactly how much it’s going to hurt poor Vigil.

Kazuma:  “Seeing as you were in charge of overseeing executions at the time… you must know the truth about what really happened! It’s in your head! Somewhere deep down!”

Tragically for Kazuma, it isn’t – Vigil was not involved in the plot and knows little about how it was carried out. Kazuma’s going to cause this man so much pain in ripping the truth from his mind for almost none of the gain he’s expecting.

(Well, not completely no gain, since Vigil’s memories – particularly of a certain scarlet-penned will – do eventually come in very handy in solving the case.)

As Vigil recounts the story of what happened with the Professor’s escape and subsequent death, the camera pans around the courtroom – and Kazuma can be seen folding his arms, his eyes closed, listening quietly. I get the sense this body language is a sign of him retreating in on himself and doing his utmost to suppress any kind of emotion he might be feeling from hearing in such detail about how his father was killed.

Kazuma:  “I’ve reviewed the police records from that time extensively.”

Of course he has. He’d have been doing nothing else in the week after regaining his memories. By the sounds of this, he even did look a certain amount into his father’s faked execution, despite that this might reveal underhandedness on his father’s part. I suppose he just didn’t manage to find out about Daley Vigil in particular, one way or another.

While Kazuma was ruthlessly willing to drag the truth out of Vigil no matter the pain it caused, I suspect he wasn’t quite expecting the poor man to pass out from the sheer trauma of it. And even though he felt this was necessary, it’s not that Kazuma doesn’t care about the pain that resulted – he’s apparently very apologetic when he visits Vigil in his hospital room later, so he does feel guilty and responsible for the man’s suffering.

[the-fae-folk]

If most fae see humans as inferior beings, why would any of the fae take on mortal lovers? Love reading your blog btw <3

Thank you, you're very kind to say so. As for your question... There are a good number of reasons why a faerie might take a human lover. There are the rare few who fully and truly love the human as an equal person, such folk do exist, but it's unfortunately quite rare. However they might instead be driven by lust. Not just an intense desire for sexual activity, but also a lust for power or influence over another person, or a lust for the things being in a relationship with that person can get them. But how to distinguish lust from passion?

Passion, you see, is also described as being an intense and often intractable emotion (meaning that it's difficult to control). Yet passion is a much deeper and fuller emotion than lust. It encompasses not just an enjoyment of a physical activity (such as sex, or running, or dancing, etc), but also can be multi-faceted and possesses a wide range of intensities and focuses. One can be passionate about an idea or a cause, an activity, a place, a person, an object; and it can range from an interest in something, to a strong enthusiasm for it. Lust, on the other hand, is particularly characterized by a distinct lack of benevolent intent. While those who are passionate can often achieve negative results unintentionally, they are often driven by their passions in the pursuit of a positive outcome, and find that there are factors not considered that divert the course against their expectations. But those who lust are not concerned with either negative or positive outcomes, they allow their desire to overrule their will, sense of reason, and empathy. It's difficult to easily separate passion from the perversions of it, lust and obsession, because though on paper the distinctions are clear, it is much harder to see the line when perusing your own emotional state. But I might point out that in this case, the one sign that lust is the culprit, and not passion, is how those faeries so often will view their lover as a thing rather than a person, a possession rather than an equal companion and emotionally close individual. It is likely that pure lust is the motivation for many instances of faerie lovers. Sadly the vast majority of those relationships, sexual or otherwise, will end in tears or suffering on the part of the human. However, there are much worse motivations. Some fae might be looking for a pet or a possession from the very start. They might even be searching for a human slave. While others might simply be cruel or malicious for no reason other than that they enjoy the feeling of power it gives them, or that they believe those who are inferior to them should suffer terrible things simply because of their inferiority. They might toy with humans, trick them, and even punish them. Often it might come under the guise of correcting a natural human flaw and serving justice to wicked behavior, but this is a falsehood. While true the human often has done the deeds described, they were manipulated and tricked into doing them by the faerie "lover". These false faerie lovers will lead a human into doing and saying things they view as wrong specifically so they can then take offense and punish the human, it is cruel and the furthest possible thing from love anyone can get. How horrifically sorry I am to have to remind you that many humans have and continue to enact these exact cruelties as well. The only difference being that the fae have supernatural powers, and humans, as far as we can prove, do not.

[rin-and-jade]

hii !!! I'm the temp caretaker of our system (unsure of role yet) and we're having some difficulties trying to manage things because host has still not fully accepted that we're a system and stuff. so he often fronts, and when we see him tired, we offer to front in his place. he either declines and sacrifices his rest or leaves in a very short period of time and comes back. he says he doesn't trust us or what we could do while he's away because he's paranoid our cover would be blown. how can we convince him? we have school coming up and we need to get our inner bearings together before we go there. thank you in advance! ^_^

tkdr;; host doesn't trust us to front and takes the most time in front, resulting him to be tired. how to convince him to take a break and let *us* front?

Alright, as a part who also struggles with paranoia and have been actively fighting to strive some progress,, i can define it in one analogy to better understand the situation, and i'll add some extra things to say after it:

A person is tasked to do a trust fall with someone, that person is you (host). You're looking 180 degrees away, and then something had struck your mind that goes, "I think this guy will let me fall over on the floor on purpose if i don't keep an eye on it" so you halted the task and tried looking face to face. Thought it could make you feel better, and as it was about to be performed,, another one came "No wait even if im looking at the dude, it can just not catch me, or trick me into doing the trust fall and quickly retract the arms-- bro wants to make me fall and get hurt" and it'll literally just be never-ending.. wether you got assured, or not assured, and the weird thing is that you are in a room with an observer and the said person who is tasked to catch you so why are you worked up about it...? I'll explain why

I'm not here to explain how paranoia manifests as or comes from because its not 'bout the topic, so,, fast forward to how it's damaging and creating an endless loop that can be broken by ONE move. One move thats right,, it is true that people have a healthy amount of skepticism to keep them safe but when we're talking about paranoia.. it means endless doubts and suspicions. When we talk about too much of the good stuffs it literally translates to bad,, this is something we all should know before taking a step.

It doesn't matter how you get an answer to relieve the doubt, its like a kid that kept asking why after why in every answer and you just had to break out of it right?? You can, by rationalizing the situation. Because i can say, paranoia (atleast for me) is the one being irrational-- it detects green flags as red flags, it also misses a lot of details and creates false alarms that is then flagged as threat. Paranoia can be stopped (or atleast slowed down) by rationalizing the situation,, back to the trust fall example, "this person won't dare to hurt me because someone is keeping an eye on us" or putting yourself in their shoes, "I have no reasons to hurt the person who will do the trust fall, so i wouldn't even plan such thing at the first place and do what's right". Thats how.

I'm also adding that by shooing the kid (paranoia) once will not instantly fix it, this kid will come back anytime something catches it's eye (things that has the chance to let doubt in) and you have to actively tackle with it on a daily basis like me. Surely, the brain will un-learn that and adapt from "everyone out here will ruin my life" to "i guess no one even has time to ruin my life when they're busy with their own" (or in this case, systems are correlated with cooperation, it is very unlikely to betray, or do something bad, as the whole body is shared, more like prefer to grow together and bond)

It's best to take it easy (building trust and addressing the fear) as well as proving that you (caregiver and others) is responsible enough to be left at front because concrete proof beats paranoia better than other things, imo.

So i hope this is enough, i went overboard on accident (word-count wise) and this might help the situation,, goodluck guys.

- j

[choppedcowboydinosaur]

I’ve been reading the Doug Moench Moon Knight stories lately and I don’t get the comparison between Moon Knight and Batman. If anything, he’s more like the Shadow than Batman

He has agents just like the Shadow.

He has multiple personas like the Shadow does with: Kent Allard; his real identity (or at least the closest to his real identity)., Lamont Cranston; rich guy persona he uses as a front, and the janitor at the police station; basically, this working-class guy nobody suspects.

For Moon Knight his personas are: Stephen Grant; rich guy persona he uses as a front, Marc Spector; his real identity and Jake Lockley; the chill cabby nobody suspects.

He has a gyrocopter just like the Shadow.

His comics are good and Bill Sienkiewicz’s art elevates it especially with how creative some of the panels get. Bill’s paneling is very clever and unique.

Also, it’s interesting that in the Doug Moench stories he describes Moon Knight as being schizophrenic while the more recent stuff describes him as having DID. The impression I get with the Doug Moench stories is that he uses these various identities for gaining intel, but he has such a hard time trying to keep up with it that it drives him insane. While with the newer stuff it seems to imply he was always insane.

Another interesting thing about Moon Knight is that he has some supernatural enemies and others that are not supernatural but just use the trappings of the supernatural to intimidate and cover up their crimes. Essentially, a more lethal version of a Scooby Doo villain. In fact, there are two villains at two ends of the spectrum: The White Angel is this plantation owner in Haiti who uses this fake voodoo priest get up to use the beliefs of the poor and disenfranchised to trick them into believing they are zombies, and he controls their souls. So as a result, they act as slave labor for his poppy farm to create heroin. And then we have an actual voodoo priest in Haiti who can summon actual zombies. The voodoo priest also happens to be the national security advisor to the president of Haiti. And he basically uses zombies to blackmail guerilla fighters into creating a false flag attack so he can stage a coup on the government and take control. That is until Moon Knight and Brother Voodoo stop him. It’s interesting to see these villains at different ends of the spectrum regarding supernatural abilities.

Reading the comics made me realize the Moon Knight tv show fucks him up. They fucked up Stephen Grant, wasted Crawley and potentially fucked up Jake Lockley by making him the ultra-violent personality rather than him being a chill cabby.

[eelhound]

"Ambiguity, again, is at the heart of Omelas’s enduring success. The story has remained a favorite decades after its original publication, and the reason is its unsolvability. You cannot simply imagine a Good Omelas, not without sacrificing what makes the story work. Nor can you head off misinterpretation by making each and every possible meaning explicit and clear-cut — not in the same way, and certainly not without repeatedly contradicting your own intentions.

Ambiguity is the strength of Le Guin’s original, but it’s also this ambiguity that seems to frustrate so many modern readers. Contemporary takes on the story — including formal publications like the two we’ve discussed above, but also a thousand conversations dispersed across Twitter, LiveJournal, and the like — so often try to defeat it, either by imagining a solution or reading a specific, narrow meaning into the piece.

Some of this may be a result of the current trend in science fiction and fantasy to declare a story’s point of view right from the start: to grab the reader by the hand and say, 'HEY, I’m about to deliver a parable… so listen up!' This is a tendency that now extends far beyond the text of the stories in question, having become part of the marketing as well; one need only browse Twitter or the website of a major publisher for a few minutes to find marketing copy to the effect of 'Do you want to read a new story that grapples with the questions of class and climate change? Here it is!' Perhaps modern readers, expecting a clear signpost from Le Guin but finding none, have adopted a positively Omelian tendency to wander in search of meaning, certain that it is out there, somewhere, but not quite knowing the way.

In doing so, though, these readers are denying themselves the power and grace of Le Guin’s original story — because an Omelas without ambiguity is not an Omelas at all. Ambiguity breeds discomfort, and discomfort is ultimately in the mind of the reader, not within the text. We can be told that a world contains this problem or that problem, but none of that can compare to the horror of realizing our own moral inadequacy, as Le Guin’s original leads us to do. But her mastery is such that she does not seek to push us into such a realization — Le Guin merely digs the hole, and allows us to walk headlong into it entirely on our own.

To demand a clear point of view from Omelas — to search for a nice, neat answer — is ultimately to deny that discomfort, just as the Omelans who stay deny their own discomfort with the injustices of their world. For us, as readers, denying the discomfort of not having a concrete answer to the accusations Le Guin subtly levies is tantamount to denying the complexity, and the severity, of the injustices that give rise to it. We are uncomfortable not because Le Guin is tricking us, but because we know deep down that our world is sick, and a cure may not be readily at hand, no matter how hard we may fight, and no matter how much we wish it to be so. To think otherwise is itself a false utopia — the nice, warm feeling of thinking that we know the way forward and need only follow it, but which comes at the expense of the soul-searching needed to actually reject complacency, and the discomfort needed to force us to take those first steps toward change.

We should not, in the end, demand answers from a story like 'The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas.' It has none. And it is entirely possible that none exist. But that should not keep us from trying — and the most a story like Omelas can do is tell us to start walking."

- Kurt Schiller, from "Omelas, Je T'aime." Blood Knife, 8 July 2022.

[batman66sexyrogues]

Round 1, Part 2A:

Presented as a master of disguise and double-talk, False Face used his skills to get in close with his targets and make off with the goods, and at one point, impersonated Chief O’Hara to stage a false interrogation of his right-hand, Blaze, in order to trick the Dynamic Duo into a trap. Despite his capture at the end of the episode, he swore he would return, and enjoyed several appearances in the comic spinoff. While the character was originally supposed to use makeup to disguise himself, budgetary constraints led to the use of the plastic mask, as well as actor Malachi Throne’s dissatisfaction with his performance. Ironically, his being credited with a series of question marks instead of his name as a result lends a bit of mystery regarding False Face’s identity, with the idea that, since we don’t know who portrays him, he could be anywhere in the shot.

With her occupation as a health spa owner, Minerva used experimental techniques in order to extract secrets from the minds of her wealthy clientele, though of course she made the mistake of trying this on Bruce Wayne, thus leading to her downfall at the hands of the Dynamic Duo. Zsa Zsa Gabor, originally in the running for Marsha, Queen of Diamonds but unavailable at the time, played Minerva with a degree of grace and style, with the character seemingly accepting her incarceration at Gotham State Penitentiary as a new opportunity, rather than a setback.

[zaruba-needslove]

Randomly musing again about the alternate outcome of Dezastar round not be interrupted by the JyamaGarden gang and Ace being voted out (either thru Neon succeeding to convince Keiwa to vote Ace out or Neon play a nasty trick to get Keiwa to click on Ace when he actually wanted to vote Neon out)

So the end result would be Neon winning the game and get her wish -- only for her to realise that the DGP had made Keiwa into her 'prince charming' (much to Sara's delight and surprise). And assuming that allvof the Desaity gets to keep their Desire Driver until the start of the next DGP, Neon would try to restore Keiwa's memories (since Keiwa's losing the game meant that he lost his DGP memories AND the will to desire to revive/save the innocent victims if the DGP thus changing Keiwa's personality) by letting Kei-chan touch her core ID.

But then, we got hit by a 'nasty' twist. As much as Keiwa's memories DID get restored and allowed Keiwa to regain his true memories, this action DID NOT cancel out the effects of Neon's previous wish. Meaning that Keiwa would still have the false memories that was created inside him (which will overlap over his real memories and causing confusion) to reenforce the 'setting' of Keiwa being Neon's prince charming and he'll have no free will to act against the setting that he was supposed to be 'deeply in love' with Neon.*

So then afterwards.... what should Neon do to fix this?

*I'm assuming this from how Girori (and Tsumuri) still had no free will to NOT behave as a family unit towards Ace ever since Ace made the wish to have the DGP 'staff' be his family.

I mean, Tsumuri may not really be aware of it since aside from disliking the idea of becoming or being forced to be Ace's 'big' sister, she really did care about Ace. (So it wasn't really obvious on whether or not Tsumuri's 'sisterly' actions were done on her free will or not) But just look at Girori-sama. As much as he also really hate the aftermath of Ace's wish, he still end up making all that breakfast (and those were really nice breakfast) for Ace and Tsumuri like a good single dad, and as much like he used to complain why the need for them to maintain the guise of a family... Girori still remain at that house after Ace's elimination, despite the fact that Ace no longer have his DGP memories by then. So was that a sign that Girori can't NOT act as 'dad' to Ace?

So yeah 😃

Not sure if I really gonna run this idea anytime soon (maybe if I'm bored) but yeah throwing this out there. 😃

[justanothergeneralkrow]

Thoughts on the UKvsTW s2 Talent Show

Choriza May, Lip Sync Performance (Party in Hell) She opened the show really well. Probably the best song we heard that night alongside Marina's Amafilipina. The outfit was designed by mr.oystr and looked spectacular. Her energy was vivacious and infectious as she performed. Though I did feel like I was having more fun listening to her song rather than having fun by her performance.

Scarlet Envy, Live Singing Performance (Bad Advice) I actually quite enjoyed Scarlet's performance. When she was kept on stage I thought they were going to praise her but instead she was mostly negatively critiqued. Though I don't disagree with the critiques I thought she did well enough to be safe. I just think her mistake with the talent show was that the song's humor was a bit lax. Some of the bad advice was more nonsesical than bad or too general. I feel like if she had referenced herself and her drag race run more the performance would've been much better. The line I laughed at the most was: “Keep losing like me and soon you’ll be, Invited back more times than Jujubee.” Nevertheless she looked stunning so it's fine.

La Grande Dame, Soundboard Comedy Performance Truly frustrating that someone that gorgeous is also that stupid and funny. She stepped on that stage in an LBD, a blonde human hair unit and a mic then proceeded to laugh, grunt and press buttons. It was a phenomenal performance and my favorite details were the reference to her first talent show with the saxophone and at the end when she put the mic under her dress and laughed one more time. Definitely the second best performance of the night.

Gothy Kendoll, Lip Sync & Fire Performance (Inferno) I was really rooting for Gothy here, I love seeing early outs get an opportunity to return but this performance was just not it. The song wasn't very good which made the start of her performance hard to watch. When the fire tricks came out my interest was piqued again and while the tricks were impressive her lack of confidence really brought down the performance. She just looked uncomfortable on stage, even the way she walked looked a bit off. I am glad she got to stay though I hope she's able to build up her confidence and really perform.

Marina Summers, Lip Sync & Silk Poi Performance (AMAFILIPINA) "Born in an island and raised by the seas, Gold in my skin I'm the Filipina queen, I'm a Filipina, Filipina Winner." I loved her performance, pure pinay pride, pure pinay talent just amazing. I could keep talking about how amazing she is but the performance speaks for itself. I will say her doing her own version of AMAKABOGERA by Maymay Entrata sent me into a laughing fit of pure entertainment and joy. (Also that song was a lip sync on her original season and resulted in a double shantay between Minty Fresh and Brigiding).

Keta Minaj, Lip Sync & Gymnastics Performance (Yay2theK) I was so excited for Keta to return, she remains the only queen to garner 3 wins and not make the finale. Truly a robbed queen. She's super talented and her Holland talent show was amazing. Unfortunately she did not live up to the hype. I was expecting a lot from her and I was disappointed. I wasn't enthused by her song it was weird in a forced kind of way and her performance wasn't the best. I'm convinced her gymnastics got her the safe placement but I think she should've been in the bottom 3.

Mayhem Miller, Meditation ijbol

Hannah Conda, Live Singing Comedy Performance I feel like she could've been in the top 3 over Choriza. Her performance was really funny and she sounded great. The false piano playing to the false reveal. It was all really well conceived and showcased her personality really well. As someone who didn't watch Down Under this talent show was a great introduction to the Hannah Conda and I'm excited to see more.

Jonbers Blonde, Lip Sync Performance (In Fashion) A really fun performance from Jonbers. Her personality is just so bright and captivating and it's great to see it shining through her performance. I will say this is like the third "fashion" song in a talent show. (AS3 Milk & AS4 Naomi) So it's a bit of a tired thing to do for a talent show, in my opinion. I did love her look at the start of the performance. The coat played well with the dress and she looked really good, less of a fan of dress' bodice though.

Arantxa Castilla La Mancha, Comedy Performance It was funny when she called them idiots but I felt like the performance went on for a bit too long without a punchline. She just kept saying her name and there is comedy in the absurdity of that but personally I just felt a little uncomfortable. Love her though and while I was uncomfortable I was also laughing and giggling.

Tia Kofi, Live Singing (Read my Lips) I didn't like this performance. It reminded me of Megami's and Ginger Minj's talent show. It was sincere and subpar, to speak a bit bluntly. Her vocals weren't that amazing and the performance felt a bit stilted. I feel like this performance needed dancers or something that could help Tia keep the energy up.

[scotttrismegistus7]

CHAOS: THE PRIMORDIAL WATERS OF CREATION.

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS, OF ALL THE VARIOUS SATANIC AND LUCIFERIAN ORDERS I HAVE RESEARCHED, READING THROUGH THE SOURCE MATERIAL OF THE TEMPLE OF THE BLACK LIGHT THAT WAS FORMALLY THE MISANTHROPIC LUCIFERIAN ORDER, THEY HAVE A LOT OF REALLY GOOD INSIGHTS, AND I AM IMPRESSED!

ASSOCIATION ORIENTATION: PROMETHEUS AS THE BRINGER OF THE BLACK FLAME. AS MOST OF YOU KNOW THAT STUDY MYTHOLOGY, WHEN YOU MOVE INTO SYSTEMS OF MAGICK SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO SUSPEND LOGICAL DISBELIEF TO ORIENT YOUR MIND TO ASSOCIATIONS REFERRING TO THE SAME THING WHICH ARE DIFFERENT WITH DIFFERENT MEANINGS IN DIFFERENT SYSTEMS. LIKE FOR EXAMPLE, WHEN SET IS ASSOCIATED WITH CHAOS AND CALLED A SERPENT, AND OSIRIS IS ASSOCIATED WITH ENKI, BUT THEN ENKI WAS ASSOCIATED WITH THE SERPENT IN THE GUARDIAN OF EDEN. SOMETIMES SET IS ASSOCIATED WITH TYPHON AND APOPHIS, BUT THEN YOU READ ABOUT SET FIGHTING APOPHIS TO DEFEND RA, A COMPLETE CONTRADICTION OF ASSOCIATIONS. SO HERE IN THIS SYSTEM PROMETHEUS REPRESENTS LUCIFER AS THE BRINGER OF THE BLACK FLAME, THE BLACK FLAME BEING ASSOCIATED WITH THE PRIMORDIAL CHAOTIC WATERS OF THE WOMB OF CREATION, ANIMA MUNDI COLLECTIVE UNCONSCIOUS SUBCONSCIOUS, AND WITH TIAMAT THE GREAT MOTHER AS THE DRAGON OR HYDRA. ENJOY!

When the torch of our psyche is lit, we are strong and prepared for the pursuit of highest gnosis, our bodies become vigorous, our minds dominant and our astral body forceful. We enter the womb of our Mother powerful and superior by destroying weaknesses.

~the first book of Promethean Fyre, interview with Semjaza 131~

Chaos is the pandimensional plane and/or power with infinite amounts of time and space dimensions, in contrast to cosmos which only has three spatial dimensions and one linear time dimension. In comparison with the linear time of cosmos, Chaos can be described as timeless in the way that it is not contained nor limited by one-dimensional time, and formless because of its ever changing and infinite amount of space dimensions. Cosmos is causal, which means that it is bound by the law of cause and effect (Karma), while Chaos is totally Acausal (Akarma) and free from all the limitations of causal law. Chaos is the eternal and lawless becoming and is therefore an active and dynamic form of eternity. Chaos was, Chaos is and Chaos becomes All and Nothing at one and the same time. Chaos is therefore the only true Freedom and the Ur-essence beyond all the confining structures of the cosmic existence.

Our 'I' (the ego) is shaped and formed by the limitations of cosmic existence, while our Self, which is the wholeness of our inner Acausal core beyond the hylic forms of our ego, is the same as the latent inner force of Chaos, that we call the Black Flame. The 'I' is the focal point of the Self that has bound and fixated it to the cosmos, which it has been tricked to glance at. The ego/'I' is therefore the 'conscious' or 'dayside' mind and the 'I'/eye which is blinded by the 'light' of the cosmos. The Self, on the other hand, is the Spirit and the Flame of Chaos beyond the gates of the 'unconscious' mind. The Self is therefore the dark (as in 'outside the light of the false god') and hidden essence that links us to the primeval Chaos and the Acausal. By looking within the abyss of the Self we can find the keys to Chaos. And through the hidden gates within the 'unconscious' mind that open to the Acausal Self (Azoth), we can increase our Self Consciousness within our lives and direct the focal point that is the 'I'/ego towards the inner Black Flame and fully open the Nexion between the blinded 'I' of the ego and the All-Seeing Eye of the Self. This would lead to the increase of the Acausal currents (Atazoth) and in the end result in the 'Opening of the Eyes of the Dragon' and the liberation of the Pandimensional Self.

~TOTBL, Temple of the Black Light, formerly known as the MLO, Misanthropic Luciferian Order~

https://www.tumblr.com/deoccultaphilosophia/98885889196/from-the-flame-to-the-void-an-interview-with?source=share

~I am the Heart of the Hydra, the Heart of Goddess Isis, I am AtumRa-AmenHotep, I am Aeon Horus.

I am Divine Chronos, the Yaldaboath Demiurge Metamorphosed, I am the Singularity of the Master Craft of the Black Sun.

Azazil-Iblis-Maymon, Abzu-Osiris-Typhon-Kukulkan, Nummo-Naga.

Mégisti-Generator Starphire~

#illuminati #illuminator #illuminated #lightbearer #morningstar #lucifer #Draconian #anunnaki #enki #enlil #anu #inanna #dumuzi #hermes #trismegistus #Azazel #starfamily #horus #Demiurge #Sophia #archon #AI #blacksun #saturn #iblis #jinn #Maymon #ibis #thoth #egypt #esoteric #magick #dogon #dogontribe #digitaria #nummo #nommo #Naga #tiamat #serpent #dragon #gnosis #gnostic #gnosticism #Anzu #watcher #watchtower #yaldaboath #Sirius #scientology #aleistercrowley #typhon #echidna #ancientaliens #TheGrays #grayaliens #aliens

[renee00124]

*WHATEVER... JUST DON'T CALL ME LATE FOR DINNER!*

Saying that I am a woman of ill repute etc., is exactly what this hideous program of nonhuman humans are saying about not only me but others within a Standard Operating Procedure, used to effectively mobilize communities to harass targets.

Frankly I suspect that they have or are trying to actually program this false reality into people they have interviewed, or hope to use, who diabolically become useful to discredit me in a Court setting or even possibly, use a programmed puppet to harm me by the high-tech ability to subliminally influence this sinister perception.  The patented mind invasive tech at their disposal is no joke!  We all know the "Organized Community Stalking, factually use people to disrespect targets in our communities, a.k.a., "Citizen Volunteers" to destroy credibility combined with the use of patented mind control technology massively in full use today literally under the radar with no one exempt.  

After one of these mentally disturbed men, trying to cover up their horrific program, which reveals how truly sick they really are, began promoting that I am "Common Trash" the modus operandi was clear. This pathetic insult came after I made it clear, how disgusted I am with them and that I and many women targeted are not a sexual fetish for these twisted men, that is the result high-tech voyeurism around women who then become sexually fascinated due to 24/7 monitoring and no privacy to shower, dress or undress. To show how effective this type of degradation programming is, serial killers and militaries are programmed to hate in a similar way causing death without conscious.

I can guarantee that if they ever come into the open, which they constantly threaten, it will be only after using PATENTED mind control technology on people they interviewed during their diabolical, fruitless search, for dirt. Because of this awareness, I actually created two blogs on this topic.

https://lnkd.in/gsqmk7j7

https://lnkd.in/gFxGaqq

I have never in my life been a prostitute and do not fit the narrative.  However many targeted document that this program are trafficking women, and children, which they tried with someone dear to me.  Thank God, my awareness curtailed their goal, which was to essentially blackmail the person with jail hoping to turn on me.  

And, frankly speaking, if some poor soul, man or women, ended up on this path for whatever reason, they deserve empathy, understanding and compassion for the human frailty in life. The fact is, the only person they hurt are themselves while these serial, hideous, human monster's hurt anyone they can for personal gratification and desperate efforts designed to keep the truth of who and what they really are hidden.

The oldest trick in the book, portray the girl as a no good whore and everybody will despise her...

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

sign of the times - a close reading

hello, friends, here i am again <3 here's some more heartbreak. i swear it's not my fault, it's their fucking writing.

i give the same disclaimer below, but: this song is so layered, meaningful, beautifully vague and bursting with symbolism that it might hit every single person hearing it differently, so please just take this post as one of those people listening expressing their opinion and that's that. if it doesn't fit what you feel it's about, i am never anyone to tell you it's wrong. hell, you might think this is a load of crap and that's also fine (just don't come tell me tho, pls).

alright. make sure to imagine me hugging you tight after this <3

LYRIC ANALYSIS

Just stop your crying, it's a sign of the times

"it is what it is"

who is harry soothing?

what someone is crying about is a result of circumstance, of "the times"

～ "young man, hush your crying", coacoac

～ "stop crying your heart out", oasis

Welcome to the final show

last judgment vibes

～ "he's in the best-selling show" (life on mars)

Hope you're wearing your best clothes

cynical tone - if this is directed at the person he's soothing, it's with a bitterness of "pull yourself together bc there's no other option" (or "let's dress up to see the downfall of who/what's making us cry"?)

dressed up for your coffin? we're at a funeral? whose, then? a victim of the sign of the times, or someone who took advantage of the times? (-> someone firing the bullets?)

false exterior to trick ppl into thinking you're good; it's a bribe, but ->

You can't bribe the door on your way to the sky

at the end of the day you can't fake who you are

"sky" or heaven's gates?

You look pretty good down here But you ain't really good

on earth you can manipulate and lie (and even be very successful doing so), but in the end it comes out (could be seen as religious or not)

who is "you" in this first verse???

"you ain't really good": is it harry's opinion, or are they the words of others, who might think this about people like him, that they don't get into heaven because of who they are inside? who don't pass the door on the way to the sky?

or is this harry telling "you" "i know who you are deep down. you're a bastard that keeps shooting at me and the people i love"

We never learn, we been here before

-> does "we" include "you" from v1?

self-blame, despite being the victim

"here"? getting into shit? getting into a fight?

Why are we always stuck and running from the/YOUR bullets?

why are "we" being shot at/down?

harry doesn't even know why it keeps happening - "why?" - there is no preventable reason - "we're just being and it costs us"

"your bullets" - the bullets "you" from v1 is firing at them

Just stop your crying, it's a sign of the times We gotta get away from here

"here": the situation? earth?

Just stop your crying, it'll be alright They told me that the end is near We gotta get away from here

it'll be alright ⟷ "the end is near"?

the end of what? life on earth? "you" from v1's life/role in their lives? the situation they're in?

who is "they"? are these helping voices or not?

Just stop your crying, have the time of your life Breaking through the atmosphere

echoes of queen (i want to break free), elton john (rocket man), david bowie (is there life on mars?)

"breaking through" or breaking free? breaking through the glass ceiling?

～ "can't get through the glass", coacoac

And things are pretty good from here

looking down, distant, then it all seems "pretty good"

sarcasm

Remember everything will be alright We can meet again somewhere Somewhere far away from here

we can leave. "i would give up everything"

we'll always meet again, no matter what. we're soulmates

We don't talk enough, we should open up

theme of (bad) communication: all over h (and l)'s music

we (people in our community who are treated like shit, in the industry specifically) should open up in general: let people know what we're going through

Before it's all too much

we've got to stick together and open up, or we have nothing

before it ruins/kills us - the distance between us, the issues that surround us that somehow get in between - but we can prevent that by talking (～ "we're all in this together", coacoac)

Will we ever learn? We've been here before

learn how to talk? learn not to get fooled? not to get shot at?

～ "we keep taking turns, will we ever learn?", spaces

It's just what we know

"i can't change"

～ "been this way forever", coacoac

We got to get away

SYNTHESIS

This vague masterpiece of a song that has become a staple in Harry's catalog can be twisted and turned in many directions that suit the interpreter. I'll offer my two cents here, but please, if you have another interpretation that suits your heart, don't let these break that image. It's the beauty of art, anyway, that we can take something someone's made and make it our own. So, without further ado, some readings:

In one way, I interpret this song as Harry talking to someone like him, his partner, or even his younger self. The person has passed away and Harry is speaking from the same realm, so I imagine him in that in-between as well. Harry's encouraging the other to stop mourning and fly high, away from earth, where they were treated so badly (as queer people). It's a dream as a song, an escape from a reality where Harry's being shot down, so he'd rather close his eyes and imagine floating away, far from the place where he always seems to get into the same shit, where things will never seem to change. (The mv fits this pov, imo).

In another way, this song can be about loved ones fighting, especially the chorus and the bridge. They're stuck in a place where their love just can't work out, due to circumstance or timing, and they can't seem to figure it out. So Harry dreams, again, wistfully, of an alternate universe where they'd fly off to and be at peace.

Yet another interpretation can be that the first verse is directed towards someone in Harry's life that's a liar and a cheat, someone with a good image but a bad character, whose funeral Harry is imagining. They won't get past the doors to heaven, though, because Harry knows how full of shit they were on earth. This version of events only fits if you see the "you" in the other verses as someone else, though, in my opinion. (Which can perfectly be the case, of course.) (But the fucking "your bullets" really makes my eye twitch to this view yk yk.)

The way I personally interpret this song is a mix of all of these things.

It's Harry soothing someone/himself for very real bad shit that's been actively done to him and people like him. It's him projecting the world (or the times)'s hate onto himself, how he might pretend to be something else all he wants (play/force himself to be straight), but at the end of the day, you can't change/hide who you are inside. It's that hurt and guilt encapsulated in the experience of being rejected for what you are, that internalised homophobia.

It's Harry being cynical about it, though, with the sarcasm dripping off the opening line alone. He's not the crying victim (anymore).

It's Harry yelling from the top of his lungs that people are shooting at him and the people who are with him.

It's Harry saying the times are so fucked and won't seem to change anytime soon, and there really isn't anywhere to hide, so we have to suck it up or leave altogether. It's the sadness of the realisation that there's no solution. It's Harry finding comfort in the peace he'll find in the dream of somewhere far from here, an afterlife.

It's about people in the same situation sticking together and having each other's backs. That can be a lover, a friend, an ally. It's a desperation to save yourself, stay whole, stay good, in a place that doesn't allow it.

(breathe in, breathe out)

We'll never know what Harry really meant with this song, but it's clearly one that means a lot to him and still touches him every time (much like falling or fine line). To put it crudely, I do think it's about his closeting and the enormous tornado of emotions that surround that kind of experience, from the point of view of someone in the middle of it. In a broader sense, this song is about injustice. There's an eerie calm to the song, yes, but that makes the song even angrier to me. Nothing like a cynical, sarcastic, whisper of fury that gets the hair on one's arms standing upright. Though, obviously, sadness more than anything is soaked into every syllable.

I can hear this song and think it's a wail of sadness. I can think it's rage. I can think it's resigned, controlled emotion. And I honestly think it's all in there. In Harry's words, in his voice, in the music. It's cathartic, and an absolute statement, however you want to see it.