#but the above makes sense without it
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The first time Zayne asks you to his house, you bring him a sprig of jasmine. You pass by the flower shop on your way to his apartment on a whim and are inexplicably drawn to the thin, white petals. The shop owner tells you the plant signifies new beginnings which seemed fitting at the time.
The look on Zayne's face when he sees the jasimine is one of pain. The light in his hazel eyes dulls, and the skin between his brows wrinkles. You resist the urge to smooth the folds away with your thumb.
"Sorry," you say, unsure what to make of his expression. You scramble around the kitchen looking for a trash can. He's rich, so it takes you some time to find it. You open cabinet after cabinet in search of the thing. "Didn't want to show up empty handed."
After some awkward fumbling, you manage to locate the can. It’s hidden to the left of the sink behind the recycling bin. The trash is empty save for the bag which smells lightly of lemons.
"Wait," Zayne replies with some urgency, his usually calm voice the most panicked you've ever heard it. His hand presses your fingers securely around the stems before you can dump the arrangement into the trash. "You just surprised me is all."
You let him slowly guide the flowers away from the maw of the garbage, lips still weighed down by an unknown force.
"Don't overthink it," you tell him, unable to guess at the cause of his sadness. Seems you may have crossed some sort of unspoken boundary in your efforts to appear polite.
"They're lovely," he concedes, forcing a smile onto his face, "but they'll die in a few days."
Is that what's got him so upset?
"Hang them upside down before they begin to whither,” you offer. “They'll hold their shape, and after a few weeks you can stick them in a vase and keep them forever."
His brows knit together contemplatively.
"They'll still be dead," he tells you, wearily eyeing the plant.
You shake your head at him, "No, their form will just have changed."
"I'm not very good at tending to plants," he insists.
You shrug at him, busying yourself with finding a vessel for the jasmine.
"Lucky you have me then. I can help you string them up when you're ready to."
He lets you fill a glass with water and plop the jasmine into its new home.
Zayne doesn't say anything for a while. He just stands there, statue still, like he’s an android with stalled programming. His eyes remain fixed on the white petals of the plant, almost accusingly. It feels inappropriate to move for some reason, so you fuss with the placement of the stems, waiting for him to take the reins.
"I was thinking," he eventually starts, gaze still stuck on the jasmine, "that I'd like to dom for you exclusively. As previously stated, I believe we are compatible and that I can provide you with the subbing experience you need."
"Oh," you reply, cheeks heating. You chance a sideways glance at him, but his sights haven’t changed. "Yeah, I'd like that. I haven't seen anyone else since we started our sessions anyway."
"It's settled then," he agrees, eyes finally flicking to you. “Moving forward you’ll come to me when you need something.”
“And you’ll come to me when you do,” you add.
He looks at you funny, but doesn’t argue.
“How do you feel about shower sex?” he asks suddenly, as his mind visibly reconnects with his body. He turns toward you, awaiting your reply.
You flash him a cheeky grin, “Lead the way.”
#reader is not mc#technically this is the same reader from a previous little piece#but the above makes sense without it#zayne x reader#zayne lads x reader#zayne x you#zayne lads x you#lads x reader#lads x you
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krakoa cherik constantly having sleepovers at each others houses
they never slept alone since day one ☝️ (until the divorce)
Im so sorry this was my immediate first thought
#cherik#snap sketches#krakoa cherik in the month of our lord december ??? literally at that fjOWDJSJEK#how many times will i draw these two sleeping in my career A Lot i predict#makes sense ….. i do love sleep ….#chat help its my grandmas birthday which means i deal with a yakuza chapters worth of drama god above help me#this made me giggle at least …. ty for the chance to doodle it anon …#anyway i feel strange. i sure hope its not food poisoning again !!!!!#i did just get really neat cookies sent to my house … id like to eat them without bein sick .. you cant enjoy cookies sick ….#ok byebye im gonna deal with My Environment and try to Not feel Physically sickly#not much can be done about the overhanging dread of family drama but oh well !!!
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Actually I usually come onto ur blog for the yappage. Yap ur truth my liege
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sometimes silence can be a virtue
#when i say tumblr is my diary i mean this this is like yappge premium edition#some of them r the dumbest shit ever like a caption i thought of but without a drawing it wont make sense#example above#others r just ideas for drawings#and im telling u u do not want to see the other like 25 percent of it 💀#franswers
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“the croaking” never beating the best webtoon ever allegations. got me screaming crying shaking and scratching the walls because of some gay bird men
#just read ep 252 i’m trembling yall#now i’m listening to birds of a feather (billie) and on the verge of a breakdown#genuinely my fave webtoon like the character development + plot + romance + everything is just so well written wtf#so many incredibly written plot twists that make complete sense without being too predictable#the found family…. the drama… but above all the most precious love story fuckkkkk#the croaking#webtoon#my post#i don’t think i’ve ever posted about it on here but i’ve been obsessed with it for the last 4 or 5 years
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i wonder if teru's gullible. i mean he seems to know that claw is bad news, but claw seems pretty straight forward about being evil. he also believed pretty quickly that reigen is claw's boss and psychic. or maybe he just goes with anything that aligns itself with his perception of the world.
#theres this hc developing in my head where since he fed off of people praising him and believed the world hierarchy that claw has been#making him believe and that had made sense to him since he was stronger than everyone else etc and since the first time he refused to#believe a claim someone made of him - mob - it had actually revealed itself to be true -- he now takes things at face value.#his enemies seem to be straight forward. and im thinking hed develop this bluntness to the world.#that and his role model being mob whos very blunt. i mean he tears down ritsu in their first meeting without much sugarcoating and i#remember during the world domination arc that he told hoshino and asahi that they were pretty useless point blank. also him confessing to#being lonely during the summer omake.#though there was that one omake where he skirts around confessing to edano about his wig and when he tells mob girls are watching him cuz#hes handsome. i guess that could be interpreted as him misunderstanding his surroundings. maybe his hair did grow out quickly because of hi#powers man idk it#was also a question during the second ova. what the fuck am i saying? i do think hed maybe try to be nice about it#when he realizes i cant just believe hes so tuned into peoples emotions after avoiding thinking about other people as above commoners for s#long. anyways this was my ted talk
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"the fnaf retcon scott mentioned all that time ago was blah blah-" NO IT WAS THE DREAM THEORY THE DREAM THEORY WAS CANON I SWEAR WHAT IT WAS.
#IM RIGHT#ok im not actually for sure that i am BUT WITHOUT PROOF THIS MAKES THE MOST SENSE ABOVE EVERYTHING ELSE.#I saw like a video saying that “fnaf 1 being the only game” was the retcon but i disagree he said it was a MAJOR retcon.#it doesnt even count as a retcon if there was no story to think of by then anyway.
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Thinking about Nancy's tendency to frequently lie, terribly, and the idea of autistic masking as constant social pressure to lie about yourself. The idea of her conceptualizing interactions with others as a kind of performance with few internal differences between outright lying and being social.
#she just does it without thought#frequently and with apparently little understanding that she's not very good at it#its her go to when she is uncomfortable or stressed#idk if this makes sense#she values honesty above all else and sees honesty in others almost too much#but at the same time has had to learn like so many autistic girls#that socializing involves a great amount of acting to be successful#but she's not exactly been the most successful has she#Barb was her only friend#anyway#Nancy is so autism coded#i love her so mucb#nancy wheeler#autistic nancy wheeler#stranger things#st
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I know everyone likes the "Fenton parents are dead/evil" route to drive Danny to Gotham, but I propose: "the Fenton parents have to send Danny away to keep him safe/cut off contact (since they're technically contracted to the government and the GIW is the definition of shady and spies)"
#the bee talks#dp x dc#if you cant tell im tired of every fic/prompt going “the fentons are evil :) and danny had to run away”#yall can push danny to gotham without making his parents evil.... im just saying (as someone who loves emotional angst and what's worse than#his loving doting parents having to come to terms with their halfa son and send him away with no one else to watch over him?!?!?)#or alternatively ppl could always do the “they're in a coma and the giw are after us”#the lack of evil parents would also make more sense for danny to willingly get adopted? (if they arent evil then no bad parent trauma)#but also a delicious conundrum of “i have parents (but for safety reasons i can't have them)” and “oh kinda vibing with wanna be parents”#no hate btw!!!! its just very overdone!!! and i feel like people are forgetting how much maddie and jack love their kids above all else!!!#i love a good angst as much as the next guy but i gotta have variety too
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sorry about that last rambling post, i didnt mean to sound like its worse than it may be, but i got no ... lense to view it through but my own, and the main reason i wrote it out anyway was bc i needed to get it out (even if posting it might be not the greatest idea) .. and bc it kinda showcases, i think, how my stories kinda write themselves, involuntarily in a way? its not like im not putting in any effort- but its like .. i cant STOP it always keeps going and even the dumbest idea stays in some form, its very hard to get everything in place bc theres so much going on all the while i am very slow at making anything, writing or drawing anything, especially anythign coherent is very hard bc not only do i get constantly distracted, i get distracted by my own thoughts suddendly skipping to a certain scene and me having to go throguh imagining in detail NO MATTER how many times i have done it before for the same scene that i already decided on how it goes, when theres a new idea it can take over my entire day bc i cant let go of it-
not trying to sound either like im the only that has that sort of problem, but i think its a big part as of why i start tso many projects without being able to finish them, or even start them bc i constantly have to fight my own thoughts from derailing into another daydream session, thinking of too much too fast than i can ever draw or even write about and not knowing what is worthwhile and what isnt (im telling you i have no idea what is good and what isnt, idk why but for all i know all things i do could be trash, or they all could be bad, maybe the one i thinnk is decent is actually worse than the things i deem not good enough and once i start to think no this isnt good enough i stop having fun making or thinking it bc im trying to do better
honestly its kind of impressive that i can get anything out at all, not to pat myself on the back there but even if i hate how long it takes me, considering how much im having to work just to start working on something at all, the fact that i could post stuff coherent enough for some people to understand AND LIKE is something i should be a little more proud of
#ganondoodles talks#personal#sorry today is a bit of a brain fart day#got a headache and have wasted the entire time until now (5pm) with watching old analysis videos i have watched 5 times already#and crying over undertales music#how much could i get done if i didnt have to deal with thought trains going 200 above speed limit#also didnt mean to sound mean to people who like the things i deem cringy#BC I DONT KNOW WHAT IM TALKIGN ABOUT 90% OF THE TIME#I DONT KNOW IF ITS GOOD maybe it is#my judgement of my own stuff is pretty random#.... maybe thats why i can work with fanstuff that adheres to lore better#bc it sets limits for me#it gives me options of rails to derail onto without falling straight into the woods#idk if that made sense either#... i need to start drinking more#(and i guess by calling some of my stuff cringe bc i am entirely unsure of its quality im trying to make myself smaller than i am)#(so if it turns out to be actually bad- im more safe from ridicule since LOOK I AM SELF AWARE)#and there i go letting my thoughts spin further#maybe ill delete both of these posts tomorrow when i realize how dumb this is to say in the first place
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i think what's really getting me about kozma claiming to have blown up the moon and also claiming to "be" the breach and basically equating "breach collaborators" and "my allies" in the same speech is that. the breach operative we've known since season one, the person who "is" the breach as far the story's concerned, is saskia. and midst is saskia's HOME! she built the black candle with her own two hands (metaphorically, at the very least), she LOVES it there and she loves those people :( and if we take kozma's story at face value, she just threw the "centerpoint" (according to imelda) of her own operation entirely under the bus and endangered the lives not only of innocent people but also of a bunch of her own operatives without their knowledge just to destabilize the trust and frankly that makes me kind of hope she IS telling the truth simply because that's the kind of betrayal i find absolutely delicious,
#midst spoilers#midst#midst podcast#i DO think she's probably bluffing about all or most of it. i bet she was collaborating with the breach but not as closely or with as much#authority as she just claimed and i no longer think she blew up the moon#but MAN those claims leave a nasty taste in my mouth for the exact reasons outlined above.#and it certainly COULD make sense! it's a smart move to encourage/fund/organize an insurrectionary movement within your political rival!#and easy to sacrifice them--especially when it's not even all of them and you've got bigger plans now--to make an even bolder move!#she's a collector! she can move her pieces around the board!#and the scheming of it all only makes her threats have more credibility to the upper trustees she's threatening#except of course that hieronymous is sitting right there having the full perspective & caring about the breach and about saskia specificall#just one more crazy layer to what must have been going through his head during that dinner#frankly. WEEPE has the full perspective too although whether he cares about any of it remains to be seen#i do think kozma is probably going to get killed by the trust/weepe pretty quickly here. but i would LIKE for saskia to get to confront her#if kozma IS telling the truth#it's nuts even WITHOUT the breach component considering she OWNED midst until literally last week. ma'am those were YOUR people.#like to be very clear blowing up that moon was a callous and fucked up thing to do regardless of personal connection. whoever did it.#but the closer the relationship gets the crazier it feels as a thing to do or to claim to have done#i just think saskia deserves revenge or justice on SOMEONE for her home being used as a piece in this stupid game...
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y'all help i listened to Let Me Out again and The Brainrot has taken over i'm going fucking feral how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions. i brought my fucking Dawktrap plushie with me to college he is in my bag next to me rn i'm not even joking its that bad
#GOD i wish i could post about glitching fates more but i literally have no fucking time to work on any of it#like. so many thoughts are being thunk rn and i can't share any of them#because they make no sense without the context of what is happening in my brain#its like the iceberg thing but only like 1% of the iceberg is above the water and the rest solely exists in my brain#fuck living in a society i want to do my little creative things#dawko#glitching fates#dawktrap#glitching fates au
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thinking about how nat and lottie were pitted against one another despite neither of them actually disliking the other
like, yes, nat was irritated with lottie, but it was never actually about lottie and more about the circumstances, and they both unashamedly care for each other and everyone else just in different ways
#also the other girls forcing lottie into a role she never wanted by making her out to be the sole provider when she clearly doesnt want it#theyre both providers but they provide different things and both are equally necessary#nat provides physical sustenance and lottie provides spiritual and mental sustenance#they cant survive without food but they also cant survive without a will to live#the two forces need to exist in tandem; theres no food without belief but belief alone isnt enough to live#(jackie was the death that solidified the reality of the situation and coach ben will be the death that solidifies the means of survival)#(also mari being the pit girl would make sense bc she is putting belief in lottie above everything else which is causing further divide#in the group which is destructive to the group which we see in jackies death; they cant survive alone they need the shelter of the group)#yellowjackets spoilers#natalie yellowjackets#lottie yellowjackets
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writing for old mond never humbles me faster than realizing . that the things i write ,, are hc’s ,, and not worldbuilding that genshin has given us
#like such as “thank the winds” or “by the winds”#BECAUSE …#not only is it from smthn where i was thinking of an older version of “may the wind lead”#but also#i dont think !! the old mond crew would say “by gods” or “by heavens” without it feeling. Weird#why would they ?? of all people be thankful to those above them#excluding gunnhildr. she would say it#but . gh#(shakes genshin) CAN WE HAVE OLD MOND STUFF#important info: they are thankful not to deca’s winds#thank the winds -> thank the breeze that gives us hope#DOES THAT. MAKE SENSE …….#my brain is still in a jumble. don’t stay up late guys x2#lantern says stuff
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Gonna also get my license soon. This time for real.
Need to find that sheet of the driving times... hmmm
#speculation nation#gonna get some more practice to increase my comfort but im generally a good driver already regardless#i just need to have the damn driving log sheet#which ive never actually filled out but certainly i have enough experience#(never recorded anything bc my dad told me from the start aka fresh 16 year old that he cared more about ability than experience#so even if i didnt log as many hours as required if he felt like i was ready then he'd have me take the test.#this makes more sense when U know he was a UPS driver so he was all about driving safety above all else.)#so. im just gonna make some shit up. but i need the sheet to do so lol.#if i cant find it maybe i'll go on campus and print one out. i think i can still do that even tho im in an online class rn#worth a try at least. if not then Uhhhh i guess i could try to buy a printer lol. probably would be good for me to have one#and they cant be That expensive can they...??#oh well i'll try the school first. if i cant locate it in my apartment that is. idk i'll just have to see.#either way im gonna get my license soon bc i dont wanna be stuck without easy transportation again#now that i no longer have a girlfriend to drive me places :p ya kno#i want the freedom. and this time for sure im gonna actually do it.
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some boring lc thoughts in dm with friend ig
Click ALT if you can't read the text
#i was telling my friend that I had some lc thoughts lately which they asked and I responded like a day after (distracted by yuri sorry)#also because I feel like I cannot articulate my thoughts without sounding like an inherently hateful or annoying person about it#there are more to this being that I talked about Benjamin pre LC behavior in the text but benjamin in LC loop behavior evolved#into a state of helplessness complacency state where he held the belief that his and A relationship only last inside the loop#which metaphorically meant that he believed A will have to remain as a hurtful person for their relationship to last#so Hokma's story just have his behavior toward A have this bit of him condemning A's behavior and go on his poor angela speech#and later on dwell into how it is actually OK for A and everyone to keep living like this because A could NEVER change anyway#and if A argues that he could that just mean that he COULDNT BE serious about it because lol something something repeated hurtful pattern#this is something he has in common with Angela as well because Angela's dialogues toward seed of light progressions express this exact#and it is when his meltdown come in where he poses as protector to protect whatever A hasnt destroyed yet#which later just dwell into him admitted that he was just being overly vebrose about his intention but in reality#it was mostly because he couldnt bear to part with A again#I do absolutely think what Benjamin/Hokma feel toward A is romatic attraction like he is literally gay so yeah#and the fact that in QnA PM has answered that Benjamin wasnt in the loop before Angela killed him and put him in so that why he got older#which makes sense because this place into the thematic that when he wanted to escape the loop or fix thing he actually#growing up#while as Hokma stuck in the loop and dealing with the above issues he started being ''stuck'' in a loop#like I cant with the popular fan theory of Benjamin is killed each loop and how tragic it is like#no it didnt happen and it would be frankly kinda lame im sorry#ok im being a hater again#there are more I wanted to say but I forgor them after writing till this point so uh
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I can’t wait to get Minthara because i find the mental image of her being the highest cha character in the party but absolutely not helping in any socially delicate situation ever very funny
#her high charisma absolutely (hm.) makes sense considering she was drow nobility + she’s very used to commanding legions of men#it Is in character I just find it hilarious how atypical she is from your standard high cha character/face#even without asi she’d have an average of 7 points of cha above the party but she isn’t allowed to do the talking because she told the guy#the party was asking for directions that in menzoberranzen he’d have been flayed for his indolence#t3xt#my good friend Minthara is the funniest person I know….
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