#but thats… a different topic for a different day i suppose…
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mitskiluvr · 1 year ago
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when people say “tragic gay men” to refer to sskk it irks me bc i refuse to think of them as anything but happy They found each other over and over again and fight by each others side and find reflections of each other in everything they do… i think that’s the LEAST tragic thing in all of bsd
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wtylas · 2 years ago
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im going through a very heartbreaking thing rn and theres no way to explain it without seeming deranged.
#lasi.txt#so basically: followers of this blog will know that i like the young avengers#you may also recall that theyve been living in my brain for around 2 years now#that is the topic of this post: my daydreaming#the version of the young avengers in my brain was created on purpose i think. it was supposed to be a mcu version of the ya#because i started daydreaming about them when wandavision released and i learned about tommy and billy#the original version of this was very embarassing. notes on it live in my notion. the lineup included harvey keener and many champions.#in the past 2 years that 'storyline' has remained: everything going up in my brain is a show#there are 2 seasons where season 2 is divided into A and B and there is a movie#but also i imagined so much with my lineup. thats where my daydreaming kicks in.#my characters went through everything i went through in the past 2 but as actors in their show#in doing so they became entirely different characters and little versions of me. and theyve been with me. for two. full. years.#this isnt out of the ordinary to me. before this i have 3 different daydream stories that all stuck with me for months#these are constant daydreams. im always thinking of the same little people for months at a time.#but recently a new story has taken over. its a new story im developing#i like thinking about this new story a bunch but one day i realized that i wasnt thinking about the young avengers#something about that shattered my soul inside. these characters that live inside my brain that i will never write anything with are ME.#i dont want to lose them. but this is just a natural process that my own brain.#but i dont want to move on all of a sudden. there is so much that happened in my head with the young avengers#im fighting my own brain trying to bring back things my brain itself made but that my brain itself is trying to take away#i will probably think about the jewel guard (new story) for a few months if not years. but god..#and im not thinking of them anymore and i keep trying to and i just cant. im losing them#the feeling of my characters (that are not even mine) being taken away makes me want to throw up#these characters were ME. i gave them EVERYTHING. i gave them my fears and they turned them into confidence.#and let me remind you: this is all in my own brain.#goddddd. this is why the base text of this post is what it is cuz i really do sound crazy omg#there really is no way to explain all of this without sounding crazy
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applexi · 2 months ago
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#how do you move on from grievance? its almost been. 3 weeks maybe or maybe a whole month now#the thought still assassinates my head every now and then and i just get even more insecure about being someone's friend#i'm afraid to make new friends now because im so sure im going to repeat the same mistakes and everyone is going to hate me#and it hurts so much that i still see them around even if im trying my best to avoid it and its something that i really cannot stop even if#i wanted to#at this point i can totally understand if you find me boring and unsupportive to talk to like. i guess this is me now#im sorry for being tired. im sorry for not finding the energy to be nice to what you like. im sorry for being tired.#im trying my best to see them in a good light. theyve been an amazing friend to me thats a fact for certain but why is it so hard to not-#focus on that fact? why is it so easy to lean on the pain that only happened once or twice and not the many times theyve been so nice to me#now that i see it. we are incredibly different people especially in personalities and upbringing and im really surprised we even came--#-- that long to be friends. that day was the tipping point for both of us i suppose - where our differences were very clear as day#i hate. how this is still bugging me. i hate that i keep getting to misty whenever i go back to this topic. i hate feeling so sad#i'm scared to even call someone my best friend now because what if they turned their head to me one day? and it was because of me?#its hard to feel like my old self in here and i really wish i could go back#its funny. i still cant find myself to understand what they found that made them upset at me. i still dont understand#i thought it was “being human”. i dont know.#i promised myself to stop complaining about this for good but the need to vent without feeling like a burden on someone's ear compels me
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lololololchips · 4 months ago
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Kim Mingyu || in which love lingers…
synopsis: in which love lingers even after their relationship reaches its end. Mingyu discover that his enduring love and care for his ex will always remain, even if she has now found happiness in a new relationship…
genre: one shot smau, fake texts, fluff, angst, non!idol, lovers to strangers (?)
warnings: fem reader, cursing, mention of alcohol/being intoxicated
a/n: hiiiii i am very happy and excited to announce that this is my first collab!!! soooo allow me to introduce the amazing, talented, and great person that completed this smau @spamgyu !!!!! ces completely ruined me with her opinion on ex!mingyu to the point that it made me want to do an smau on the topic so here it is:)) the amazing writing portion that she did is towards the end so make sure not to skip over it and read it!!! also go show her support on all her great work, she’s gonna make u suffer and cry BUT HEY THATS OKAY🙈🙈 once again i’m truly so happy to have worked with ces so ENJOY WHAT WE PUT TOGETHER HEHE<333
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Taking the final bite of his shave ice, Mingyu couldn't help but let out a pitiful chuckle as the cold treat made contact with his tongue - he had gone mad.
He had always wanted to visit the tropical island, looking forward to crossing off all the sights he had on his four year old list in his notes app.
Only difference was, it wasn't meant to just be him completing this list.
You were supposed to be there.
You were the one that had come up and done research for all the places he had paid a visit to.
From the small surf town up north to the local eateries, Mingyu couldn't quite find himself to enjoy the experience fully - knowing that there was something missing.
You.
It had been three years since the two of you had separated, both coming to terms with the end and moving on with your lives. It had been months since he had even thought of you - as a romantic partner, at least.
What was meant to be a birthday trip had turned to somewhat of a trip to tie up all the loose ends he never did seem to get to - nor was he aware had been undone.
This place was supposed to be for you two.
Mingyu knew it was stupid; relating every activity he had been doing back to you instead of fully enjoying the trip.
He was supposed to have moved on; and he has!
But why did his stomach feel like it was constantly sinking? Why did his heart feel as empty as it did the first day he had experienced a life without you?
With each picture he snapped, he found himself mumbling how much you would have loved the place.
It was everything you two had dreamed of, maybe even more.
You always did like the ocean - remembering the first time the two of you had spent at the beach together.
He could remember the smile on your face that day, almost as if it was just a week ago.
He could remember the sweet smell of coconut shampoo that lingered in your hair, wafting into his nose as the wind blew.
He could remember the sunkissed glow on your cheeks as the sun beat down on the two of you.
Would it have been the same if you had made it to the Hawaii trip with him?
Would you still have been using the same shampoo?
Would you still allow him to playfully drag you into the water - pretending as if you didn't want to wet your hair in the cold ocean water?
Probably not.
Time has passed, there was no way you were the same person - just as he wasn't that same foolish boy that he was when he was wrapped around your fingers.
You were most likely using a different shampoo now.
And you probably would have jumped into the ocean first.
He wanted to text you; send you all the images he took, update you that Matsumoto Shave Ice was as delicious as you imagined it be, tell you all about what he had been up to.
You probably wouldn't even care - at least, not like you did before.
You would simply reply casually, just like your other mutual friends.
Letting out a sigh, Mingyu tossed out the now empty cup - shaking his head to try and shake away the thoughts of you.
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"I'm a fucking idiot." He scoffed, rereading the word vomit that he had spilled to you just a few minutes ago over text.
You two had been cordial, friends even - and now, that could possibly go down the drain.
All because of this stupid thing called nostalgia.
He had allowed for the emotional tie that the island had to overpower his coherent thoughts - typing all that he had felt the duration of his trip into the messaging app.
Mingyu knew he had to get it out, he had to let you know - he felt as though his chest would burst if he didn't. He had done so well holding back for the past few days, simply talking to you in his head.
But he heard it, someone had played the song the two of you had jokingly dedicated to each other after the break-up - and almost as if his younger self had possessed his body, he opened the messaging app and went on to spill all that his brain had been bothering him with.
His younger self missed you; gravely.
But not the you that was now, no - he didn't know who she is.
She is a stranger.
She may look familiar, having the same features that had once had him so weak in the knees - but she no longer felt like the home he once resided in.
He no longer knew the address to this home, nor does he think it has it's light on for him anymore.
Even if his kept the porch light on; just in case you needed to seek shelter in the darkest of nights.
It will always be on.
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laithraihan · 6 months ago
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now i’m kinda curious to hear what you think of proshipping.. if you don’t mind of course
I'll share my thoughts, and if theres anything I say that doesnt make sense feel free to point it out to me because I mostly write with the help of a translator. Under the cut because I wrote too much stuff.
TLDR: proshippers hate me because I dont want to look at glorified depictions of pedophilia/incest/etc, antis hate me because my content isnt 100% sanitized. I stay around anti circles because I find it slightly easier for me to talk about my headcanons with them even though I think they can be insufferable.
So the thing about proshipping. From what I've seen it means being "anti-harassment" and being in support of curating your online experience, which sounds great on paper and that's practically what I do. I have over 3k accounts blocked on my personal twitter to navigate the website more easily and I also dont care if someone blocks me if they dont like my stuff.
Except proshippers never consider me a proshipper because I am uncomfortable with viewing glorified depictions of topics like pedophilia, incest, rape, all that stuff. The same way people are uncomfortable with excessive blood and gore (which I also can't really handle seeing). Whether or not it's always easy to tell if it's glorified is an entirely different topic, which is precisely why I stay away from all depictions in general to avoid being intrusive.
And what's interesting is that I do not label myself an "anti". Mainly because I don't even know what the term "anti" is supposed to mean ("anti-" what exactly. Genuinely please tell me because I actually dont know) But the ones who label themselves "proship" always call me an anti, because again I do not wish to engage with content related to pedophilia etc, and that alone apparently enough to be considered "a person who harasses others over fiction" even if I mind my own business and have no interest in forcing my personal tastes on others, especially if they make it clear that they wont change their mind. Which makes me believe that for a lot of self-identified proshippers, the definition of being "proship" would be more similar to "I love fucked up stuff and if you dont then youre lame and it obviously means you can't tell the difference between fiction and reality" which honestly seems like insecurity to me.
Forgive me for bringing up this up once again but I want to mention an example to make it easier for me to explain: yknow the whole thing with me drawing Minori and Reigen and labelling it "non-cp" which caused a wave of both self-identified antis and proshippers harassing me over that (I'll say that proshippers were more bold about it since the antis harassing me were all anonymous). Proshippers saw me saying "I dont ship that" and interpreted it as me being defensive and in denial, as if I said "guys I swear Im an anti !!! please dont think im a proshipper !!! ", when I meant "I dont want to discuss this with others in a shipping manner because thats not how I see it and I dont want to enter a space Im not comfortable with"
I admit I responded to this situation in a petty manner, but this was after several days of harassment done directly in my inbox and publicly (sometimes I wish yall remembered that group chats and priv accounts exist). My point is that simply saying you don't like seeing pedophilia in fiction is enough for proshippers to believe it's justified for them to harass you over it (and I'm fully aware they'll say it's not harassment, only when antis and "puriteens" do this to them then it's harassment)
Now about the anti side. Don't get me started on them either. If proshippers see me as an enemy then this must mean that I always get along with the ones who call themselves "antis" (I do not). Note that Im only talking about adults here, I dislike beefing with children and I think their feelings about this are entirely reasonable (I'll elaborate on this when talking about internet safety)
But anyways. I think a lot of adults are discourse-brained and do way too much. Im thinking of nonsense like "this ship is problematic because they are 'sibling-coded' so thats basically incest" "siblings giving each other a hug gives me proship vibes" things of that nature. And you're not allowed to do anything that even has the smallest possibility of being interpreted as "problematic", because then they'll harass you for it, and if you clarify your intentions, they expect you to apologize for "misleading" them because clearly they didnt do anything wrong by making assumptions about you.
There's almost no room allowed for creativity with them, everyone has to follow fanon because they consider it canon, if you ever want to try something other than the same boring domestic fluff then it's "too much" (and not even platonic affection is acceptable to draw in certain cases). Which is incredibly fucking boring to me who wants to see different types of content. People even said I was enjoying incest for drawing Reigen selfcest, and that I was "making others uncomfortable" by drawing it. Genuinely seems to me that they only care about moral superiority, that they never think about anything in depth, and I dont think they realize that it also shows in what they create: boring and repeated fanart and headcanons where the only thing you can say about it is "thats cute", nothing more because you saw it ten billion times already. You cant draw two people showing platonic affection that absolutely nobody would bat an eye if it happened in real life, you cant discuss something specific in more depth without people saying you have a fetish for it, and then they'll harass you based on their speculation that it's a fetish. I dont think many realize this, but fandoms are full of autistic people, so it's normal to see people who are interested in very specific things that dont make sense to others! I wish people were less judgmental, but at the same time I dont care if people think Im weird. I think what I mean is theres no reason to mistreat weird people who do no harm to others.
So yeah if you call yourself an "anti" I'll assume youre spend too much time engaging in fandom discourse and you're the type of person to believe that fanart where two people are holding hands is the equivalent to drawing them fucking each other. Which I think is a very childish mindset to have and it's worrying that many adults think this way. I also think that as an adult they should be capable of blocking stuff they hate instead of constantly arguing with people online because at this point it's just mental torture.
The thing about internet safety I mentioned earlier, I'd say this is the one thing that I'll always prioritize discussing whenever proship discourse comes up.... To put it simply: filter and limit the visibility of your content, do not put triggering stuff in the main tags, stay in your own circles. Whether or not you believe fictional rape/pedophilia/etc is bad is irrelevant, my point is that these are objectively triggering topics and should be filtered just like how there are warnings for violence and blood even if it's not real.
"But it's the parents' responsibility to control what kids look at online, this has nothing to do with me!" and I agree with the parents being the ones Primarily responsible. However the reality is that children are online and there's nothing you can do to stop it from happening. Kids will also enter spaces theyre not allowed in, theyre children and children are rebellious especially teenagers, I was like this as a teenager too. You'd be lying if you said you were always obedient since childhood and never did anything you were told Not to do. And you can't really expect teenagers to always block and not interact if they see something triggering. It's your responsibility to block them if they interact with you, because what I see most of the time is adults bickering with teenagers who are uncomfortable, calling them "puriteens", putting them on blast and allowing other adults including NSFW accounts to dunk on them.
Humiliating and degrading teenagers does not "teach them a lesson", it only makes the teenager more stubborn and reactive. Adults must accept that kids will always find their way in there even if your content isnt easily accessible. So I think it's stupid to feel offended at a child because they got upset when they found upsetting content like how any normal child would react. Which is why I wish more adults would keep blocking without saying anything petty to provoke teenagers.
Before someone pancake-waffles me and says "so youre fine with antis doxxing people" no I do not support doxxing. Ive been doxxed so I know it sucks. However the only times Ive seen it go this far is after continuous arguing because nobody knows when to stop. Im not saying this applies all the time nor am I saying doxxing is fine, but there are ways to minimize this sort of outcome as much as possible. Both sides have doxxed people over petty arguments that couldve easily been avoided if they just blocked each other and moved on.
The topic above (internet safety) is probably the only thing related to this where Im actively telling others what they should be doing. It's not only teenagers who are triggered by depictions of pedophilia etc but also adults like myself. In my case Im old enough to block content I dislike without saying a word, however I cant help but think that there's not enough being done about filtering especially when I do not search for this type of content and I still see it all the time.
I also think it's important for me to mention that I have a very poor sense of morality. I do not have a personal moral code that I adhere to, and I mostly stick to the basic universal ones that make sense to me. So I will not discuss the "morals" of consuming this stuff because I am not adequate to share an opinion on this, and I know the most popular topic of discussion related to proship discourse is morality which I frankly find counterproductive. I dont understand why people should care so much if I find something morally correct or not, unless it's to make themselves feel better about having a "superior opinion" to mine. Though I will say that if a man tells me he's into rape "but only in fiction!" then I dont think it will stop me of imagining myself bashing his skull repeatedly with large rocks. Maybe Im too mistrustful of men in general.
Final point I want to clarify is that I am not trying to assert some sort of superiority over people by disliking both sides, like saying "Im not an anti or a proshipper Im a Normal person" or something like that, and Im not expressing a "neutral" stance on the topic of fiction's influence on reality either. There are topics like racism and orientalism in fiction that Im vocal about (which is expected since Im Algerian). I genuinely believe there are many things that are interesting to discuss and should be prioritized, but too many people are chronically online, subjective and defensive, at this point I dont even think it's accurate to say that disliking one side automatically means you support the other side regarding fiction. To me, "proship discourse" is not about the debate of the effects of fiction on reality, censorship in media, etc. It's about everything I described earlier that happens online.
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pumpkinsy0 · 19 days ago
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since its that time of year (only 65 days😝) wb christmas hcs?
can u believe it guys???? christmas!!!! just a week away :D!!! christmas!!!!
•back in haiti, the shepards had to go to church on christmas eve late at night and it pissed them off so bad, ik they were so happy to not do that when they moved to the us LMAOOO
•tim and curly taught pony and darry how to make haitian fanals (these small house things just look it up) and YES, ur supposed to use different colors to act as the windows/light, but pony and darry just make it one solid color (their fav colors) and tim and curly think its cute, a lil dumb, but cute
•the curtis gang do secret santa here n there, but realistically most of their gifts come from donations from others, they dont rlly do the whole
•angela worked as a mall elf for the mall santa once and never again bc the kids AND the adults got on her nerves so bad, she always made either curly or someone from the gang tim made go w her as her protection from creeps n such
•curly and angela love christmas carols, they sing it together sometimes, maybe a lil louder if theyre drunk enough (soda and two love carols too btw)
•darry will take oneeeee look at the nativity scene u der the tree before bed, he wakes up, and all of a sudden baby jesus is riding a horse and the adult figures r doin things they DEFINITELY werent doing that night, he hates leaving the lil figures out and the gang starts roleplaying w em
•tim gave darry kremas and darry stupidly thinking the gang would respect the property of others, left it in the fridge and half of it was gone, their excuse was “we thought it was eggnog”🙎🏽‍♀️
•angela saw curly w a santas hat kissing pony under a mistletoe and he likes referring that night as the “i saw pony kissing santa claws” night, shes so disgusted each and every time
•the curtis parents has a box of ornaments the gangs made before and they always hung it up and thats something darry keeps doin
•sometimes curly and pony find themselves on soc territory just driving past and they see their houses as bright as a bomb blast and make fun of em
•sugar cookies r totally angelas weakness, and on the topic of cookies, curly hates gingerbread cookies, he feels like ppl hyped them up sm and when he tried it, it tasted like SHIT and till this day hes mad about it
•tim in an ugly sweater is keeping me going, he only wears it inside tho
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blackenedsnow · 2 months ago
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if you want requests, may i suggest something (oneshot or headcanons, whatever u prefer) w postal dude (any) finding out his partner has self-harm scars? if this topic is too heavy and u dont want to write it, thats perfectly fine
scars don’t fade
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WARNING: Discussion of past self harm, healed scars
PAIRING: Postal (2) Dude x Reader
NOTE: Hello dear! This is totally fine with me. I’ve chosen to do P2 for this. I was gonna go with P1 but.. I had a change of heart I suppose. I hope this is alright!
SUMMARY: Dude isn’t the softest person, but when he notices something unusual about his partner’s arms, it sparks a rare moment of reflection.
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The heat outside was oppressive, the kind of weather that made you want to crawl out of your own skin. You sat on the couch, staring at the TV but not really watching it, your mind elsewhere. The sleeves you wore felt heavy, but you couldn’t bring yourself to roll them up. Even in the privacy of your own home, there was a lingering shame that made you hide.
Dude barged in through the front door, tossing a bag of groceries onto the counter. “Place was a madhouse out there,” he muttered, running a hand through his messy hair. “I swear, people are gettin’ dumber by the day. Saw some jackass tryin’ to eat a stick of deodorant like it was a snack.”
You managed a small smile at that, shaking your head. “Sounds like a typical day in this town.”
“Yeah, no shit.” He dropped onto the couch next to you, letting out an exaggerated sigh.
After that, the afternoon had been quiet—unusually so. Dude was slouched on the couch, flicking through channels with his usual apathetic scowl. You were curled up beside him, enjoying the rare moment of peace in the chaos that tended to surround him.
It wasn’t often you got time like this, where there wasn’t some catastrophe or errand dragging him away. The air felt still, heavy with that calm-before-the-storm kind of energy, but for now, it was nice.
Your sweater had ridden up slightly as you stretched, exposing a sliver of your forearm. It was barely noticeable, but then again, Dude noticed things most people didn’t.
“Hold up.” His voice cut through the silence, sharper than you expected.
You looked over, seeing him glance down at your arm, his eyebrows slightly furrowed. For a split second, your heart dropped as you realized what he’d seen: the faint lines, the scars that you thought had long since faded into obscurity. But in this light, they were more visible than usual.
There was a long, tense pause. You shifted, instinctively tugging your sleeve down to cover them again, hoping he wouldn’t push it. But Dude wasn’t the type to just let things go.
“Didn’t know you had those,” he muttered, his tone uncharacteristically low, as if weighing his words.
You swallowed, your throat tight. “Yeah, it was a long time ago. I don’t... I don’t do that anymore.”
His eyes, not covered by sunglasses anymore, flicked up to meet yours, and for a moment, there was something different in his expression. He didn’t say anything for a while, and the silence hung between you like a question you weren’t sure you wanted to answer.
You expected him to say something flippant, maybe make a joke to lighten the mood, but instead, he just gave a slow, thoughtful nod. “Right.”
It was a simple word, but the way he said it wasn’t dismissive. It wasn’t awkward or judgmental. Just... understanding.
He shifted in his seat, running a hand through his hair, clearly trying to find his next move. Dude wasn’t exactly known for being emotionally sensitive, but it seemed like even he knew this wasn’t something to blow off with a wisecrack.
“You don’t need to explain,” he said after a while, his voice more subdued than usual. “Not to me, anyway.”
You blinked, caught off guard by his tone. “You’re... not mad?”
Dude snorted, shaking his head. “Mad? What the hell would I be mad about? People deal with their shit in different ways. I’m not here to lecture you.”
That almost made you laugh—him, of all people, saying that. But there was something about the way he said it that soothed the knot of anxiety tightening in your chest.
“Look,” he added, leaning back on the couch and rubbing the back of his neck, “I’m not exactly a poster child for healthy coping mechanisms. Hell, half the time I’m doing something stupid just to get through the day.”
You could tell he was trying to relate, in his own twisted way. Dude was a lot of things, but he wasn’t clueless. He knew what it was like to fight things in your head—he just fought them with an entirely different arsenal.
He glanced at your arm again, then back at your face. “So you don’t do it anymore, huh?”
You shook your head. “No. I stopped a while ago. I just... sometimes, things got bad, and it was the only way I knew how to handle it.”
His jaw tightened for a second, as if he didn’t like the thought of you being in that kind of pain. “Yeah, I get that.”
And surprisingly, you believed him. He wasn’t the type to dish out platitudes or empty words. If he said he understood, he meant it.
There was another long pause, and you could feel his eyes on you, watching, but not in a way that made you uncomfortable. It was more like he was trying to figure out the right thing to say next, something that wouldn’t come off as patronizing or insensitive.
Eventually, he sighed, kicking his feet up on the coffee table. “You know, scars are scars. They don’t mean you’re weak or… some shit. Just means you went through something and made it out the other side.”
You bit your lip, feeling a strange mix of relief and warmth at his words. Coming from anyone else, it might have sounded cliché, but from him, it felt raw, real.
“And hey,” he added, his tone lightening slightly, “if anyone ever gives you shit about it, I’ll make sure they don’t have a chance to say anything ever again.”
You let out a soft laugh, shaking your head. “Yeah, I’m sure you would.”
His lips quirked into a smirk, but it wasn’t his usual cocky grin. It was something softer, more genuine. “Damn right I would. You think I’m gonna let anyone mess with my partner?”
There was something comforting in the way he said it, the protective edge in his voice.
He reached out, hesitating for a split second before gently—so gently it surprised you—running his fingers along the fabric covering your arm. “This doesn’t change anything. Got it?”
You looked at him, your chest tightening with emotion, but you managed to nod. “Got it.”
Satisfied with your response, he leaned back again, his usual nonchalance returning. “Good. Now, let’s get back to not doing shit. I don’t feel like dealing with the world today.”
You smiled, grateful for the way he effortlessly shifted back to normal, taking the weight of the moment and making it easier to carry. Dude wasn’t perfect, but he knew how to remind you that, in his world, you were more than enough—scars and all.
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jennilah · 5 months ago
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hi there!
please do share your thoughts on canon vs non canon (TO YOU) scenes from saw if you feel like it
this seems like a fun topic to explore 👁
i was thinking about this all day im gonna hella ramble too much
to reiterate and expand on what i kinda said in that post's tags: im genuinely cautious when it comes to the canonicity of deleted scenes and script changes for most things because, well, things dont get included in the final product for a reason sometimes.
trust me i know about deleted scenes. ive had months of work erased from existence because of deleted scenes. and sometimes it really was for the best
and im equally if not more skeptical of things like.. lore coming from outside sources. if its not in the original media, its questionable. film novelizations, game adaptions, spin-off comics, all that stuff is usually written by some third party with little to no input from the real writers. unless it gets some serious seal of approval and that shit actually gets referenced in the next film, then im like "ok im listening." Otherwise, i shrug it all off as maybe-canon side adventures until contradicted
THAT SAID
sometimessss those nuggets of lore or characterization from deleted scenes/iffy canon off-shoot material are sick af so we just kind of adopt it anyway!!! we all do it!!!
ALSO
FUCKIN. The goddamn Saw franchise makes me insane with the different cuts of each film so we basically choose our favorite canon already. so. its a bit loosey goosey here sometimes
ok first of all i KNOW im gonna forget things so imma just kind of list and describe what i can remember off the top of my head. i dont actually have things like the scripts memorized i only know some moments that get passed around between us little freaks like drugs
like this one
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i dont care if this doesnt happen on-screen in Saw IV, it happens in my heart
and this little bit of characterization from all 3 goofballs here despite us not really seeing much of it in the film:
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Strahm being a butthead just interrupting Perez and Hoffman having a nice little talk because he hates his ass so much
Hoffman being more of the annoying little flirt that i know he is in my heart
Perez being charmed by him, the two of them having a cute little bonding moment as acquaintances for a moment there, and then STRAHM AGAIN being a butthead
i love them. i LOVE THEM
its very important to me that Perez kind of liked Hoffman. it makes his betrayal hurt so much more
this whole moment. i love this. ough. as much as i loved this scene already, in my head i pretend the scene played out like this....
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falls onto his ass
angel of death
my fucking goodness
also, i cant list off everything because theres so much its a little depressing, but there's a lot going on in the Saw 3D script that is tragically cool. they really leaned into Hoffman going off the deep end and i enjoyed that. and how grisly his scar was originally supposed to be, and the symbolism with his declining mental state. and his interactions with Lawrence being a little more fleshed out. its just kind of neat. i think the film would have been a bit stronger if they stuck closer to a few of their earlier ideas
edit: OH MY GOD HOW CAN I FORGET ABOUT DELETED FILMED SCENES LIKE THE ROCKSTAR MOMENT. THAT HAPPENED OK U CANNOT TELL ME OTHERWISE. and amanda is 100% haunted by what she did to Adam
and as for spin-offs that are absolutely not canon, this description of Hoffman from the video game from Tapp's POV is intriguing.
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i love annoying and weird colleague Hoffman but i also really enjoy the idea of shy and weird colleague Hoffman.
also, boring cop Hoffman who wont bend the rules? that is so much more interesting than the hashtag brutality moment.
too bad this game is like. well. yknow. not very good. i dont think thats a controversial statement
but you know what IS good?
Saw the Musical
thats canon to me. no notes
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squeakadeeks · 8 months ago
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i havent overshared something extremely complicated and personal on here in awhile so its time to fix that
you might recall that after this past summer i've been trying to recover from anorexia. progress has been....ok. i suppose better than nothing but im certainly in the rocky/awkward phase of it now. Thats part of why i've been doing more illustrative art/doll art as opposed to sharing images of myself/things that relate to my appearance like cosplay.
which brings me to the primary thing thats on my mind which that historically, whenever people give accolades or shout out my strengths as a costumer, a majority of the time its on my shilloweete. and sure, i do work a lot with petticoats and padding to make things more dramatic, but fully and genuinely 90% of that is just because of how disproportionately weird my measurements are with respect to my head and skeleton. its not actually a skill, talent, or anything i've put effort into, its just a consequence of anorexia. and its hard because when people draw attention to it, i cant be like "thanks. its because ive been intentionally and resolutely trying to off myself for the past 10 years."
i guess this is something that i shouldn't be picky about, i feel bad getting upset over compliments but i do wish i could be recognized more for my design work, material strategy, and actual craftsmanship over how i look. especially because of the next thing, which is the fact that i get...a not insignificant amount of feedback from people saying they wished they looked like me in a post, or saying that they dont feel like they can cosplay the same characters because of their body.
and at the risk of being controversial, i know that oftentimes the response to statements like that are "COSPLAY IS FOR EVERYONE <3" or a similar sentiment, but this ignores that fact that cosplay is not the same for everyone. because look, there was a brief period in 2016 when i actually was at a healthy weight and my treatment in the cosplay community was like night and day. i dont know what to say when i know that the way we're going to be viewed for doing idential things is going to be significantly different, and i think back to how much praise i get for things that are disordered behavior. If those comments wernt there...would anything else actually fill that void? if that person wasnt giving me a compliment on how much i "actually look like that character", would they have said anything at all?
one of my goals is to eventually get to the point where i can make good on my word and my internal morals and try to challenge those ideas by existing in spite of them, but dawg. i just simply do not have that mental resolve yet. at the very least ive wanted to address it on tiktok and IG where this problem happens the most, but i both dont know how to approach the topic responsibility and if i could handle the upsetting comments, be them well intentioned or otherwise.
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mrsleonkennedy · 2 years ago
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Disclaimer: All info posted here comes from their respective creator itself so yes, its legit and not just part of my imagination 💯
Interview Rules:
The interviewer can only ask 10 questions.
The interviewer cannot force an answer out of anyone.
The participant has the right not to elaborate their answer.
CW: Long post ahead / Interviewer being a Ketamine simp / Gavin's surprise cameo
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Interviewer: Hi Guys! I hope you're doing well today. Thank you for participating on this social experi- *coughs* interview. Btw, you can call me CC, I'm your interrogator today sent by your beloved MC, so please cooperate :) Are we ready? Lets start:
Question No 1: Aside for being a yandere, whats your dream job/profession?
❤️ Casanova: I wanted to be a chef for the longest time, but i’m happy with my job as an organ harvester!
🕊️ Krow: I-I actually like m-my job as a f-forensics cleaner but... I-I'd love to b-be a stay at home s-spouse a-and just do a-art.
🔪 Ezra: I actually really enjoy my current job. I've had it for going on... 7 years now? Almost 8. (Interviewer: Can we ask what your job is? No? Okay. *thumbs up* bish i value my life more)
🔥 Harper: Hmm, if I had to pick any kind of job, maybe a pyrotechnic?
💐 Keith: To become a plant biologist.
🎮 Tenebris: Be a musician.
🖥️ Virgil: My dream profession is to be Game Developer, I enjoy video games and I have always wanted to make a game for others to enjoy, and so that’s why I’m taking classes of game development.
🎤 Adam: I already have my dream job. Although, I did often think about becoming a vet as a kid. Sometimes I wonder how life would've turned out had I pursued that career instead of singing.
🐕 Henry: I’m not sure! I’ll probably do whatever Buttercup ends up doing!
Interviewer: Atleast some of you love their job *sigh* Me? I just want to be a cat, no work, just meow meow *defeated sigh* Back to the topic at hand:
Question No 2: If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be? (Vacation or permanently)
❤️ Casanova: Barcelona, that’s where i was born and it’s really pretty there
🕊️ Krow: Ah! I-India! I-I'm Indian but... I-I actually don't know m-much about my heritage. I... w-wanna go s-see the land of m-my culture. W-with Dove too o-of course!
🔪 Ezra: Hmm... Anywhere with my Sugarsnap? If that's not too cheesy I suppose. But outside of that I'd like to visit Blaire's extended family in Vietnam.
🔥 Harper: I’m definitely more a big city kind of guy, so I’m pretty happy living where I am… To visit though? Hmm… Somewhere with some snowy mountains maybe, do some snowboarding, chill by a fire with some hot cocoa? Yeah, that sounds nice..
💐 Keith: It will be Kristenbosh National Botanical Garden.
🎮 Tenebris: My old home probably.
🖥️ Virgil: I’ve always wanted to go Iceland for vacation
🎤 Adam: As long as I'm by your (MC) side, it doesn't matter where I'm at~
🐕 Henry: Anywhere where Buttercup is good with me! But if we could both go somewhere, Disneyland might be fun!
Interviewer: So if MC just dissapear out of nowhere, thats the list of places where we can found them? Hmm ..
Question No 3: Song that you will sing to MC if given a chance.
❤️ Casanova: baby - eslabon armado
🕊️ Krow: Uhhh... uhhh... I-I guess... T-Together Forever would be c-cute...
🔪 Ezra: A few different songs, most notably... We'll never have sex by Leith Ross, Let you break my heart again by Laufey & Philharmonia or Habits by Genevieve Stokes. I just want sugar to know I want them for more than... anything. I love their heart and soul, it's not physical for me. Though I do find them incredibly attractive.
🔥 Harper: Actually sing myself?... Umm.. Maybe either Day 1 or No Song Without You, both by Honne?
💐 Keith: Can't Help Falling in Love
🎮 Tenebris: Trust by 7 Seconds
🖥️ Virgil: Rises the Moon, it’s a comfort song of mine, my mum sings this to me and my younger siblings when we were little, by then whenever my mother is busy, I sing the song to my siblings. And Hopefully, I can sing it to my beloved, as a way to help them if they need comfort.
🎤 Adam: *fidgeting because he's written one song in particular that he'd love for MC to hear but is worried that MC will wind up hating it*
🐕 Henry: The Promise by When in Rome! It’s our song!
Interviewer: *secretly adding all the songs to their playlist*
Question No 4: Name one food that you will never ever eat.
❤️ Casanova: Mac and cheese, i fucking hate mac and cheese.
🕊️ Krow: I-I'm never... eating b-bland... white people c-cooking EVER a-again.
🔪 Ezra: Beans on toast. I just don't particularly like beans. Or sweet potatoes.
🔥 Harper: Ugh… Raisins
💐 Keith: Rabbit meat.
🎮 Tenebris: Anything with bugs.
🖥️ Virgil: Anything fish related, I do not like fish, but if someone ever served me, I would just suck it up and eat.
🎤 Adam: *doing 5 stages of disgusted face known to humankind* Anything from Saffrons freezer. (Interviewer: Time to raid Saffron's freezer hehehe)
🐕 Henry: I can’t bring myself to eat cauliflower. It's so bland!
Interviewer: *proceed to eat Mac & Cheese to spite Nova* I dont trust people who hates Mac & Cheese.
Question No 5: This would be a little bit of personal, so you have a choice not to answer this okay? Whats your most treasured possession?
❤️ Casanova: Mi vida’s house key, of course! it’s a little mangled bc i keep chewing on it though.
🕊️ Krow: Oh... w-well... t-this pendant is... p-precious but... well... I-I actually don't have m-many possessions. S-so... everything I have has m-meaning. (Interviewer: I can be your possession Krow)
🔪 Ezra: Eliana gave me a tie she made back in elementary school. Neither of our dads are in the picture so she gave it to me instead. I still wear it to work sometimes. (Interviewer: *starts crying bc this answer is so precious*)
🔥 Harper: This lighter here, we have a bit of history together~
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💐 Keith: A bonsai tree I got from my father and I had for 7 years.
🎮 Tenebris: My guitar.
🖥️ Virgil: My necklace, it’s a gift from my dad.
🎤 Adam: You (MC). But if we're talking about an item...*he tugs on his earring*
🐕 Henry: A picture / polaroid of me + Buttercup as kids! (though, I do have more updated ones too…)
Interviewer: I am suprised no one answered MC's nose hair or whatever. Hmm.. Im not fully convinced but I will trust you on this one.
Question No 6: Nosy ask, whats your phone wallpaper right now?
❤️ Casanova: a photo of mi vida in the middle of taking their meds!
🕊️ Krow: D-Dove let us t-take a selfie! I-it's so cute aaaa--
🔪 Ezra: I managed to snap a photo of Sugar and Ellie cuddled up on the couch after a movie night once. I've never before felt so much love swelling in my chest. It almost hurt.
🔥 Harper: *proudly present his phone* 1st is my lockscreen and 2nd is my Homescreen. I took it myself..
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💐 Keith: A pair of white lilies (Why is this the most normal answer on this whole interview?)
🎮 Tenebris: We share the same phone, so a pair of white lillies also.
🖥️ Virgil: Pixel art of my beloved Galaxy and my puppy Scott, aren’t they so cute in pixel form? (Interviewer: Scotty baby *coos at the phone* )
🎤 Adam: My home screen is of YOU (MC). My lock screen is of a stray kitten I found on my way to the studio that Ethans younger brother ended up taking in. (Interviewer: Do you have any other pics of the kitten? *cat lady vibes intensifies*)
🐕 Henry: A picture of Buttercup sleeping! How’d I get it? (Note: Its in a modern Au bc mobile phone with camera is not yet invented on Henry's time)
Interviewer: MC supremacy yass! If only some surgeon named Ketamine Yetrovzski use my photo as his wallpaper *coughs* (Ketamine shouting "NO" can be heard in the background but still here supporting the interviewer, this fuckin tsundere)
Question No 7: If you could appear in any popular movie/anime/book, which one would you choose?
❤️ Casanova: hmm, i would say the hp lovecraft series! hate the guy but i’m a major monster fucker
🕊️ Krow: Umm... I... I-I wanna be in a Jane A-Austen book. As a p-protagonist. N-no matter what... t-they marry happily in t-the end.
🔪 Ezra: Well... I guess... I'm not sure. I've never really thought about it. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I can't imagine my life without Eliana and I don't want to be anywhere without my sugarcube.
🔥 Harper: Ah.. thats a hard one.. If I get powers n shit and I’m not just a normal person maybe Jujutsu Kaisen?... Tbh I play more games than I do watch or read anything haha..
💐 Keith: Sherlock Holmes, because solving murder cases looks like fun. So does creating the perfect murder. *a sudden smoke appear near Keith for dramatic effect*
🎮 Tenebris: Inuyasha. I really want a Kagome. (Interviewer putting their Kagome costume)
🖥️ Virgil: Hmmmm that’s a tough one… Haha I couldn’t think of anything right now.
🎤 Adam: Death note, the anime. I think I could do a lot better with that notebook than light Yagami did. (Hermit, the creator, rolls their eyes behind the scenes and Adam glaring daggers to Hermit)
🐕 Henry: The Princess Bride! That movie is practically about me + Buttercup.
Interviewer: Im with Harper on this one. JJK so I cant prevent Nanami and Nobara Shibuya Arc huhuhu.
Question No 8 : What are some habits you have? Any strange ones?
❤️ Casanova: I tend to scratch at my braces when i’m trying to focus, often i’d end up chewing on my fingers.
🕊️ Krow: Uhh.... I... bite my h-hands... a lot. It's... a comfort t-thing. S-sometimes my forearms too. I-I guess I also make the same expression a-as to what I'm d-drawing.
🔪 Ezra: When eating food like burgers or sandwiches I eat around the edge and then eat the center last. Um... I also tend to rub things with my fingertips when I don't know what to do with my hands. I'm almost always touching my nails absent-mindedly.
🔥 Harper: I have a habit of scratching my fingertips, especially when I’m nervous… Its kinda a bad habit, sometimes I scratch em a little raw.
💐 Keith: Buttoning and unbuttoning my shirt sleeve when Im bored or nervous.
🎮 Tenebris: Leaving my things all over the bed
🖥️ Virgil: Hmmmm, whenever I play a video game that has levels right? And I messed up one thing, I restart the level. Don’t know why, I just like to go through the levels smoothly. It’s pretty frustrating if you ask me ahaha
🎤 Adam: I don't have any strange habits. I'm just a normal guy. (Someone shouts LIAR and its not Hermit, i swear. Or maybe?)
🐕 Henry: Hmmm…I have really bad sleeping habits if I’m being honest! I’m lucky if I can get 3 hours of sleep at night. As for strange ones, nope, I’m perfectly normal! (now the interviewer is also shouting LIAR)
Interviewer: That was the biggest lie Ive ever heard in my entire life Henry. *headache incoming* No one is normal here. Im not even normal smh.
Question No 9: This question was submitted by Gavin Hyeon of Camp Willlow Peak. Its time to test your flirting skill, give me one pick up line that you will probably use when flirting with MC. Gavin said he is watching you right now.
❤️ Casanova: if you were a heart i’d eat you out!
🕊️ Krow: N-no wonder i-it's overcast t-today. All t-the colors are in y-your eyes.
🔪 Ezra: Sometimes I wonder what good deed I did to deserve such a perfect soul like you to enter my life.
🔥 Harper: Pickup lines really aren’t my thing… Gavin did write down this one for me once though… Lets see it’s here somewhere…” *digs through his pockets and pulls out a piece of scrap paper* “Here it is… ‘Hey baby… You got any Italian in you?.. No?... Do you want some?’ …… I don’t get it 😐 *Gavin cheering in the background*
💐 Keith: Im really not a fan of pickup lines, but okay, "You're sweet enough to give me diabetes".
🎮 Tenebris: Tie your shoelaces, I don't want you falling for someone else!" (Legend says that until now, Tenebris is still waiting for MC to wear shoelaces and for them to be untied.)
🖥️ Virgil: Hmmm let me go grab my telescope, so I can admire the beautiful star.
🎤 Adam: *combusts into one giant human blush* (Hermit doing a voice over: He can only flirt on the fly. If he has to think his actions through he'll get self conscious and overheat from overthinking it)
🐕 Henry: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together!
Interviewer: *currently helping Gavin to write his will of testament before he becomes Gavin Flavored Toasted Marshmallow, recipe by Harper*
Question No 10: This would be the last question, and I want to thank you again for giving me a chance to interview you. Before we end this, do you have anything you want to say to the people reading this?
❤️ Casanova: if you ever need fresh organs without having to do it yourself contact valentine’s anatomy distribution! we have a wide selection available, and if you’re a fellow yandere homie you get a discount!
🕊️ Krow: Uhh, well? I-I guess... t-thank you for... f-finding me interesting.
🔪 Ezra: Not particularly. I'm not sure why Lilith arranged the interview but I don't mind answering questions. I should probably head back into work soon though... Oh, I will say this. Thank you for coming into my life Sugar, I didn't think I could love someone like I love you.
🔥 Harper: .. Unshrimp your fucking backs, love you~
💐 Keith: Um, hello. I hope my answers weren't too boring.
🎮 Tenebris: No? I don't know 'em.
🖥️ Virgil: Hello everyone, I hope all of you have a wonderful day, afternoon, or night, make sure to take care of yourselves or else I will if you don’t mind hehe~
🎤 Adam: Is...YOU (MC) reading this? Because if you are, I hope to see you again really soon~
🐕 Henry: You guys are kinda weird for wanting an interview! I’m not quite sure what else to say though!
Interviewer: And that would be all. Thank you to our lovely guests for joining us today. And here is the bribe. List of all 2d characters MC currently simping for. Do what you want with that info.
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Interviewer: Hi Hi guys! Again, CC here. Thank you again for entertaining this interview. To end this, may we ask for a few advices you can give for those aspiring artist out there or those who want to create their own vn.
NOVA belongs to @cannibalsweetheart : if you’re starting a project don’t feel unmotivated if you don’t get a lot of traction in the first few weeks, building a platform takes time, but soon enough you’ll gain an audience! (Demo link here)
Krow belongs to @thekrows-nest : While I don't have immediate plans for a VN (despite folks begging for it), for artist stuff, keep experimenting and trying out things. Don't be afraid to go to friends for advice. (:
Ezra belongs to @restartheartvn : lshdfksdfhj okay for my answer! My advice? Don't make something for other people. Make what YOU want to see. Make something that YOU are interested in. If you like... make something that you don't love and enjoy making people can tell. It doesn't come off as genuine and you'll burn out that way. Don't think about numbers or anything like that. Make stuff because it makes you happy. I make Restart Heart because I love my little passion project. I love it so much I get my nails done to match my game and spend most of the day thinking about it. I would still be making Restart Heart if no one played. Make something that you would want to make even if no one saw. Even if you were the only person in the world who loves it, make it because it brings you happiness. Sorry if that's cheesy or like super standard but it's genuine. (Demo link here)
Harper belongs to @campwillowpeak : Hmmm, other than the good ol’ practice practice practice?…Try and remember to have fun yeah? Don’t focus on numbers, yeah everyone wants more eyes on their work, thats normal, but if you focus only on how big you are you’re gonna burn out and get discouraged, stuff like that takes time, consistency, and a little bit of luck. In the meantime just have fun and make friends! Besides, people can tell if you’re trying to force it, an audience’ll more often stay if they can tell you’re legitimately having fun! And never just look at where you are now… Look at how far you’ve come from too!~
Keith & Tenebris belongs to @dualityvn : Make sure you set realistic goals for yourself. Taking on too many tasks and planning a project that is bigger than what you can currently manage can be your downfall. Stay positive and always create the things you yourself love! (Demo link here)
Virgil belongs to @wouldyoustayvn : Take your time! There’s no need to rush to make the game quickly! Make sure to take breaks!))
Adam belongs to @unknownhermit : Please get a good chair. It'll help in the long run when you're often crouched over your desk for hours on end. Don't be like me who hovers over my desk like a hermit crab shell.😅 Second thing is to just have fun creating and don't worry about what others think! I used to obsessively worry if my work was good enough and wound up never releasing it because I got self conscious. It wasn't until YOU and HIM that I actually had fun with what I was doing and I think that translated into my work. Create to create for yourself. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks because it's important to create what you love and are passionate about. And I'm sure a lot of us would love to see what sorts of things you'll come up with. 💙 (Demo link here)
Henry belongs to @homecomingvn : Ahh, I’m a really bad person to ask for advice if I’m being honest! I guess all I can really say is that no matter how silly you think your idea is, there will be an audience for it! It can be scary to put yourself out there, but honestly, this community is so incredibly supportive + I’ve met some amazing people here! Also, I’d recommend keeping various docs about your project! It’s nice to have it all in one (or 3 + a google slides in my case) place so you can have a clear idea about your wip + its characters. And lastly, be prepared for people to be horny! ^^ (okay, you dont have to call me out >…< will still send horny ask bc someone needs to 😙)
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Just a little self indulgent ramblings. I dont know if anyone already know about this game, but one of my moots recommended this, its DONT LOOK VN and I tell you, its so good. The story premise, the creepy atmosphere and the voice acting are all on point. They have on going Kickstarter and they only have 8 days left to reach the goal. This is my way of helping since im unable to pledge bc the banks here in the country im currently residing are shitty and they keep declining, so please if you have means to support, please do. Lets help them to reach their goals.
Here is the link of the demo also and their socials:
Kickstarter | Demo | Twitter | Tumblr
DO IT FOR CHESTER!!
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delusionalnerdt · 2 months ago
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Hey! I'm about to start my medical college journey & am a little confused about the books to read in the first year. Could you please help me? I looked thru your blog & it seems like at your uni they follow a pattern and timeline similar to the Indian medical system, so I thought I'd pop by & ask you for some advice :)
PS: Love your blog, really inspirational!! 🩵 I'm a ex-French learner myself & your posts really inspire me to restart.
Hey, first of all, congratulations and welcome to the Fraternity!
As for the books:
Anatomy
General anatomy : get the bdc or vishram singh general anatomy pdf or get the book from library once you are in college and give a read to important topics and go through the terminologies. You can read general anatomy now, before you go to college or during your foundation course classes
Gross anatomy : The preferred book by students is BDC but i read vishram singh. It has very easy to remember diagrams and things are given in points, i suppose you will feel easier to understand and remember. May be, you can go to a store and see both books and decide (goes for all the books, I'll write here about my personal experience only)
Embryology : Get a langman from senior or if it is okay, buy it too. It's an international book but quite good. You don't have to go through everything but the important topics. Vishram singh embryology is also nice. I got to know about it just few days before exam but it was nice. And please don't neglect embryology. Your friends and seniors will say that it doesn't matter, it does. I suppose i could have got distinction in anatomy if only i had read embryo properly since in paper 1, i couldn't write one answer at all. (Like distinction is not everything, it's just kind of an achievement that can boost you?)
Histology : we read IB singh and mostly, our class notes.
Osteology : Again, class notes. But i guess, poddar is being followed here. I had the pdf. So, see if your college has good teacher who teaches you well, take notes of the bones and revise them. Well, vishram singh gross books also have bone sections and its quite nice.
Physiology
Guyton is the best book. If it is possible for you, get that book either from a senior or from a store. Seniors will tell you otherwise most of the time unless you are in AIIMS or the top colleges. Don't listen to them. I regret not studying standard books, they are gem. But you have to start from initial days and again, make notes of important topics. For exam purpose, you can read your notes and Sembulingam. Thats a nice book. You can keep a pdf. We used AK jain too. But in case you are reading Guyton, making notes and using Sembu, you don't need it. And get the AK jain practical book.
Biochemistry
The standard books are Lippincott and Harper. They are review books. Other than that we followed Satyanarayan or Vasudevan. Satyanarayan is better for exams i feel. Since its like a note. You can keep one of them as physical book and other as pdf. Keep whatever pdf you get actually. And as you proceed, you will get to know about more study materials like Jambulkar. That's nice note but use that as a revision tool.
In our college, for practical in biochemistry, we real our practical copies only. So, i have no idea what other colleges follow for practical
Do join telegram channels, you will get whatever pdf you need and important topics. I will suggest you to read every topic but make notes or proper annotation of important topics and of course, revision of them.
That's all i can remember now. Its not like you need to buy all the books right now itself. See those books in library or get the pdfs and go through random topics and whatever you feel nice, you can buy it. And as i said, keep all pdfs. Mbbs is not like preparing for neet. There will be topics easier to understand or easier to present in exam in different book than yours. But you cannot buy all books so pdf works. And do feel free to ask whatever doubt you have!
PS : This means a lot, thank you! And you can definitely restart your language lessons too.
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stageoutoffive · 1 year ago
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breakdown
according to kubler ross, there are five stages of grief. i am at number one. shock (or denial)
when i first met you, i thought you talked a lot- it didn't bother me too much i suppose. i had never really met someone who could also talk about nonsense as much as me. even if we had different topics to yap about.
when i first met you, i had dreamt of you. my brain was asleep, but my conscious had made a shape of you. every night after that, i had prayed that i could see it again
when i first met you, i knew that i wanted you. i had told the moon that you were mine ! she winked at me and breezed me a
"good luck"
the moon is dissapointed in me tonight, for her back is turned and she cries with me,
"it's your fault !" she showers.
and it is my fault.
i'm so dumb
so dumb
so. dumb.
i had lost an angel like you, because i figured i was a chore to you.
and i'm sure if i told you all of this instead of mixing emotions and cheap liquor, we would have been fine ! yes, with some problems, but we would have been together ! and thats all i need.
before i had made that stupid impulsive decision of leaving you, i had gone days without eating. i was so used to getting full with your words, that i forgot what being hungry felt like. my colored hair was getting brittle because i had stopped imagining you stroking it. i was no longer myself and i figured you wouldn't want me that way.
lifeless.
i wasn't going to leave you forever, i just wanted you to focus on school and your new hobbies and new friends ! but i didn't tell you that. i just kicked everything to the side and vanished.
and i know in the beginning, we'd say we'd never do that to each other, but i figured that it was best for you to hate me then for you to wait for me (if you even wanted to) it wouldn't be fair.
and please my love,
please please please
feel me when i say,
i am so terribly sorry for putting you through this.
i know it can be hard to believe and its not my place for you to forgive me and if you did this to me-
oh lets get serious, you'd never do this to me.
you have went through so much pain and suffering, and you trusted me enough to tell me those things, and in the end i threw it all away because i was scared to talk to you.
i'd walk to your school and show up with flowers and a boombox and embarrass myself, if it meant i could be around you just once.
i'd learn how to play the guitar and rent a venue with you as the only guest and try to preform for you.
i would take off my makeup and let my hair run wild and cry to you. i would let you see the ugly side of me because i believe you'd love me either way.
"loved" i'm sorry.
i will continue to love you in present and future. even if you don't feel the same way.
it's selfish of me but
no "but" i'm just selfish.
tomorrow i will find a new way to feed off you. maybe in music or a nature documentary. i'll check my phone every 5 minutes in case you'll text me, it likely won't happen though, you're goodbye was so strong.
but my denial is much more stronger.
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cheiyunn · 8 months ago
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Kimisute main story [3部 ] Part 2
Side: Argonavis
[Bar]
Wataru: This is…?
Rintaro: One of our favorite bars. Usually you’d have to sign up for it but if it’s empty they’re chill if you jump on and play a few songs
Banri: True that there’s a drum set, base and even guitar but… why'd cha bring us here..?
Ryuusuke: Oooi–, is it fine to use em?
Bar owner: Yeah sure, even reserved em for you this time
Ryuusuke: Thanks!*
Rintaro: hm? …What are you loitering around for? You guys better get ready too
Yuuto: !?
Wataru: Since you suddenly dragged us along, I’m not catching the drift here…
Ryuusuke: What, y’all don’t know our lives or something?
Ryuusuke: Ain’t it obvious by now that we’ve been using support members provided by the label by now
Banri: Yeah we know that part but more like now, here now, are we supposed to be playing that part !?
Rintaro: Play the part. C’mon, get ready
--[ST//RAYTRIDE performance starts, with argo as supporting]--
Wataru: (Ah–, what is this…)
Banri: (You’re joking right, even if we’re all over the place they’re matching us..)
Yuuto: (It feels like I’m being pulled up by Tennoji-san and Yodogawa-san’s voices..)
Yuuto: (Its different from him, and also different from Ren but… this prowess is overpowering…)
Wataru: (These are… the true pros….)
--[Performance ends]--
Ryuusuke: Thanks a bunch–!
Bar owner: That's my line. Cause of your performance the mood here is completely lifted so it helps a bunch
Rintaro: Thats because we’re on friendly terms with you of course. Right? Ryuusuke
Ryuusuke: Yeah! We fancy this place alot so look forward to the next one
Bar owner: These guys over here, are they the juniors you were talking about the other day?
Ryuusuke: Yeah yeah. Well now we know they’re more jello than we thought they’d be though
Ryuusuke: Lemme borrow that place for a bit~
Rintaro: For now, take a seat
Yuuto: r…right…
Wataru: Do you frequent this place alot?
Rintaro: You could say so. We poked in and out here a few times before our major debut so I guess you can say we’ve been long time patrons
Ryuusuke: We can’t go too frequently anymore since we’ll get mobbed by fans so we’re holdin’ back
Ryuusuke: Okay. Let's switch to the main topic here
Ryuusuke: You kiddos, just like your presentation; your playing is just as sugary
Banri: …so you mean to say we’re lacking in skill…?
Rintaro: Half right, but also half wrong
Ryuusuke: I ain’t callin’ ya lacking in skill in total. But yeah, y’all got that roughness that comes with bands newly starting off
Ryuusuke: Just as I said, y’all are all ‘sugar’. Maybe ‘sweetly spoiled’ is a better word
Ryuusuke: When you hit a troubled wall somebody will help you, everyone’s all in this together holdin’ hands kinda stuff….  Its all just fluff
Banri: But, isn’t the internal workings of the band just as important right
Ryuusuke: If ya wanna go off and just casually have fun playin’, then go do it as a side hobby or something
Yuuto: ….!
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Rintaro: If you’re really looking into going pro, the current rate you’re at needs to change, stat.
Ryuusuke: …On that note! The special advice lesson cuts off here!
Wataru: sorry…?
Ryuusuke: What, ya thought we’d go from a to z or somethin’?
Ryuusuke: Do we look like a pair of nice seniors like that to you?
Rintaro: Ryuusuke in actuality is a nice person though 
Ryuusuke: Rin-chan ya didn’t need to add that in
Ryuusuke: Yeah but he actually wanted to put a word in with Nanahoshi directly but yeah… maybe it can hold off ‘til next time
Ryuusuke: So, we’re gonna log out now so y’all better hurry back
--[They leave]--
Banri: …hah, from start to finish I don’t get them
Wataru: Yeah… but saying all that, they were amazing. Yu? You’re spacing out, something wrong?
Yuuto: Hm? Oh… oh, yeah… We’re going back right
Banri: Yeah. It feels out of place for us to be here anyways so…
Banri: Ren-kun’s pair, are probably already at home right…?
[Park]
--[A while back]--
Ren: r…Rio, wait!
Rio: Nanahoshi
Ren: Um… about Yuuto
Rio: Yeah, I get it. At the moment, Yuuto is trying to hold it out alone
Rio: …well, there’s also a feeling of disappointment that he didn’t come to talk it out either..
Ren: Same here… I wonder if Yuuto is really okay
Rio: Once some time has passed and he has all his thoughts in place, I’m sure he’ll explain it 
.
— — —
* He says more of the casual equivalent to ‘ty’ I suppose but I’m unsure if it’ll come off easily
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megatruxfr · 8 days ago
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Reviewing Dutch versions as a Dutch bc i can lol - Ferdinand (2017)
Well guys, today we are reviewing the dutch version of Ferdinand, a movie about a sweet careful bull that was originally bred for bullfighting, but he doesnt want to fight. I wont be out here explaining the whole thing - pls just watch the movie - but he ends up in a bullfight bc of being chosen by a matador.
I watched this movie in English and Dutch (i think its really ironic how this movie has a Spanish dub, just like how Turbo has a French dub) and i enjoyed both of them. But lets cover the dutch voices by my opinion.
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Ferdinand
Voiced by: Rico Verhoeven
Holy shit, when i tell you Rico's role in this movie was advertised, it was ADVERTISED. I remember seeing ads about Rico voicing Ferdinand everywhere in 2017, but does it live up to the hype?
I have no idea how to say this so i will try my best. I will just start off by telling you that Rico Verhoeven is a really well known / popular kickboxer in the Netherlands, and we all know him, he has a lot of fans, everyone here has heard about him at least at some point. I never thought he would voice act, considering his career and what he is known for, but his work in this movie was surprisingly good for someone who has never had such an important role in a movie before. He had like background voices sometimes, this was his first major role (for as far as i know) and he handles it quite well. He was really proud of this movie and he loved being part of it, and to be honest, you can hear that. Rico really brings his own spark into the character, like how thats supposed to be. What i love about dubs is how all the actors have a chance to bring a new vibe to a character by giving them just a voice. Rico's performance in this movie wasnt phenomenal, but for his (i think) first major role, he definitley did very well and he can for sure be proud of this movie.
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Valiente
Voiced by: Daan van Rijssel
Daan... oh, Daan.
You guys follow me for my Dinotrux stuff (Don't worry i know ;]) so what if i told you that Daan van Rijssel was the Dutch voice for Splitter in Dinotrux? Yes, i'm not kidding. Daan was in Dinotrux, so all i heard was Splitter (mostly bc Daan uses the same voice for Valiente and Splitter)
I seriously cannot get a clear explaination of the voice of this guy. His voice souds kind of raw, agressive, somewhere in between, and its strangely fitting for Valiente. Daan van Rijssel is genuinly a really good actor. He just has the right voice for this type of work, with these kind of characters. Especially in the fight scenes, i think Daan van Rijssel did one of the best perfomances in this movie. Just like he did in Dinotrux. He really suits his characters and makes them feel real. Respct voor jou, Daan! 👊
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Lupe
Voiced by Plien Bennekom
(Sorry if the pictures in this blog are a bit low quality, these pictures are the same ones i use for template memes. Sorry.)
Out of all the characters in this movie Plien definitley has the memorable and regocnizable voice, next to Rico. Plien Bennekom is a Dutch actress who has played in a long running educational Dutch TV program that is to this day still very popular titled Het Klokhuis (in English: The Apple Core) wich is a program for young and older kids, it teaches kids about different topics every episode, with sketchcomedy and funny animated videos in between, and it did super well. I watched het Klokhuis a lot when i was young, and Plien played the role of Marie Louise, basically a really rich bratty woman, who contantly tries to buy expensive stuff or tries to get her way, but fails. So when i heard Lupe for the first time in Dutch, i immediatly remembered the voice from Het Klokhuis, i searced it up and it turned out to be Plien.
Now lets cover her job on Lupe. Honestly? Its hilarious. Pliens voice suits Lupe so ridiculously well, she adds her own vibe to this character and does it in such a way it makes me laugh out loud. Just like i was magically enough not annoyed by Lupe at all even though she's supposed to be the funny sidekick wich is a role i usually hate, Plien adds even more to Lupe. Her depiction of Lupe is genius. I can just imagine Marie Louise going EEEW EEN GEIT when she sees Lupe, omg i just got the perfect crossover fanart idea.
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Angus
Voiced by: Mike Weerts.
Hear me out. I love it when Dutch dubs depicts accents. Angus is originally voiced by David Tennant, so throughout the movie he has a very heavy Scottish accent. Now it would be a total shame if they would let this guy speak formal Dutch, right?
Exactly, thats why they gave him a good old ✨️Brabants accent✨️
And it works... quite well actually.
Im very glad it wasnt turned into a very heavy Flemish accent, with a soft G that most Dutch people hate. Brabants is pretty much Dutch with a slight accent and a few added words. Het is niet ✨️irritant✨️, het is ✨️aMbEtAnT✨️
I honestly really like that they kept an accent in this Dutch version. If there is a Flemish version of this movie (i don't know if there is) it will prbb be very hard to add something new. I have never heard of this actor before tho :( continuing with
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Paco
Who is voiced by a youtuber named Furtjuh, a Dutch YouTuber that is huge. This is honestly so stupid that movies keep inviting people that just have a huge name. Its hard to have a big name in the Netherlands so as soon as someone does, like Furtjuh, they invite em over to movies while most of the time they can barely even act or add anything to the character they voice. Furtjuh is a Youtuber, not an actor. Rico Verhoeven has a big name, but at least he CAN ACT and actually ADD something to his character. He sounds regocnizable, but GOOD. Furtjuh doesnt add anything nor does he necessarily sound good. He sounds regocnizable but not good. I don't hate it, i just don't think Furtjuh is a good voice actor, but thats my opinion
Anyway, that was my main review. The other characters, i dont really have a lot to say about, they just sound ok in my opinion •_• anyway thats it. Hope you enjoyed it mirmirmir 😁
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animnightmare · 1 year ago
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This account is a safe space for people that are "too queer" (or not queer enough!!)
(reblogs welcome!)
theres been somthing going on in the lgbtqia+ comunity for a very long time, that only gets more and more apparent to me every year.
Its supposed to be a safe space for people who have different, odd, or queer relationships with their identity. We should not be pushing people out for being exactly those things!
From aro/ace people to xenogenders to straight presenting bi people, the list goes on. These issues are only scratching the surface!! What about people who use masculine pronouns but identify as lesbian? those people are outright attacked for it! Nonbianary people are included in lesbian identities, but apparently not if it isnt the most basic genderless form of Nonbianary. Thats TOO queer. that isnt fair to me. if you are gender queer and love women, you should be able to communicate that your attraction to women is queer in relation to your gender. Same with mlm relationships. Thats what it means to be gay, or to be lesbian. That youre attracted to a single type of gender expression in a queer way. Butches are accepted up until they add he as one of their pronouns. Femme twinks are accepted untill they add she as one of their pronouns. (it isnt nearly as huge a problem in mlm spaces ive noticed, actually.)
And then theres people being pushed out of lgbtqia+ spaces for the oppsite reasons. They arent gay enough, they dont fit into that idea of queer people have.
PEOPLE WHO ARE UNLABLED ARE LGBTQ+
People who are aro ace spec are lgbtq+
ANYBODY who is not either cisgender or straight identifying is part of the lgbtqia+ cominity and i welcome those identities with open arms.
Questioning? Lgbtqia. Figure out youre cis and str8? Cool! no longer a member of the community, but that doesnt invalidate your experience! you WERE a part of it!
Stright amabs who use he/they? queer! if they identify with the demiboy label or not, they are part of the comunity none the less! same with str8 afab she/they s! there is no minimum level to how queer you have to be to be a part of the community. there is no limit to how queer you can be in the comunity either.
We need to stop in fighting. Work to understand, work to learn. I dont want to feel like theres bigots within the lgbtqia+ space.
thats not even mentioning lgb without the t, but that's a topic for another day.
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spikeinthepunch · 5 months ago
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this is a topic i hate to bring up bc it could easily be misread, or it could even bring bi/panphobes to my post to twist it to their narrative but its a topic that i just. really think ppl need to think more on, as i see more RPGs come in with "no sexualities, you can romance anyone".
as mentioned this alone can be read poorly and i guess my fastest "wait hold on-" statement is, this isn't about not wanting bi/pan characters. this is about game devs seeming to decide that the solution to gay rep lacking in romance choices is to just decide on this vague concept of... no specific sexuality, thus who romances them doesnt matter.
really, thats my problem in its shortest summary. yes this was spurred by the news of the new dragon age game, though its been something i feel like has occurred many times through the last years so this isnt anything new... the problem with this is that no, i dont think it is good lgbt representation to just say "no sexuality" and the reason why i say no sexuality and not bi/pansexuals is that... thats what it is. some of my thoughts are well explained in alxander avila's video "did the sims make you gay?", where basically... in my eyes the lack of recognition of any clear sexualities takes out any weight that there is a gay character there at all.
the problem arguing against the 'no sexuality' is that there will always be people, especially in the game scene, who just want their nice little rpg with no worries about their sexuality being brought up because often times that would also mean recognizing an in universe difference, and some times stories that even work oppression into it based on sexuality. you can have your worry free oppression free 'no sexualities ever talked about' world, thats fine! but the issue is that i think we are starting to lose any attempts to have actual gay stories told in rpgs because of it.
why cant i get another dorian pavus? a character who's gayness was up front in his personal story even if you didnt romance him. that character astounded me in its way of telling such a gay story, because i felt like i hadnt played any rpgs with lgbt options that recognized their sexuality at all. even so, DA had other gay only characters who didnt much bring up their sexuality but despite that i still enjoyed knowing that some were gay, straight, or bi. its variation. it felt natural. and DAI recognition of someone actually being gay did it even more- it made me feel more seen and heard than any previous gay romance. even if some of that was very hard to see (the fact dorian faced oppression and bigotry) it still felt worth it for my experience as a gay person.
like i said, people can have their stories with no worries and no bigotry, but i am really missing a gay connection to these supposed bi/pan characters because no one ever talks about it in game. no one talks about your gender specifically in relation to their relationship with you, no one says much of anything about being bi or pan, no one else on the outside recognizes this either because in this world sexuality isnt discussed. and so in turn... the bi/pansexuality basically doesnt exist at all. i can enjoy a gay utopia but a real gay utopia in our society would... still have us having lived through everything we did to get here. our labels and our identity are what make us. what make us love and relate to each other and feel connected. video games with a gay utopia like the Sims do not have some kinda in universe history with what we went through. thats the detachment here. they did not struggle, they did not live through generations of finding the words that explained themselves, the years of fighting for your love. it is normal there- it is normal and it is never recognized as "different".
i will look forward to the non-straight rpg romances as much as anyone else, i still love to play and see them but im not really doing it with any expectation that the story will implement their apparent bi/pansexuality. i dont think this is a solution to the complaints about no representation, because more and more i dont even relate to these characters' being queer due to the fact there is no real integration of their sexuality into the world/story. it starts to just be 'everyone can romance them, so they dont complain'. i want an rpg where we have bi, pan, straight, gay etc character romance options. i dont care if you wanted to romance some straight girl, or some gay man, and you dont align with their sexualities. i dont care. it feels real, and it feels good for characters to identify with specific things. and you can do this without needing to bring in the oppression/minority issues!! i want to be able to use these specific sexuality choices from companions to even further define my own character's preferences too! i just. want to be recognized in a way that doesnt address it at all.
its not unlike the issues we are starting to have with 'no gender, just bodies A and B' when it comes to character creation... Taking out one part (recognizing sex/gender binary) doesnt suddenly get rid of all the other things that need to be addressed about it. and in this case, what needs to be addressed is... why are we seeing this trend? why have we eliminated the sexualities all together? is that really the solution to not being represented? are we actually losing important stories and perspectives for queer people in the process?
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