#but thats obviously completely different
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peregrinethegryphon · 1 year ago
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Hey so did anyone else grow up absolutely dreading that thing where teachers would pair kids up to take care of a doll? 'Cause just the idea of me pretending to be married with a kid made me want to throw up back then and it still does now. Thankfully they never made me do that, I probably would have had a full meltdown if they did.
Anyway, is this a form of dysphoria??
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silosbears · 3 months ago
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i think alphonse would still experience depersonalization and dysmorphia even after getting his body back
#alphonse elric#obviously hes glad about having it back#but there's this unease at the back of his mind#because hes been put into a new body that is drastically different from the one he was in for years for a second time#and that body isnt the one he lost. it had changed so much since he was 10 and i dont even think he could recognize himself for a while#i also think thats why he got the exact same haircut he had as a kid. to feel more like that younger and more familiar version of himself.#anyway i think he would still feel like he lost another part of himself by gaining everything back#even if he hated every second of being in that armor and even if all he ever wanted was to be normal again#he still spent 5 years in that body. long enough to begrudgingly become used to it#and for his body to change instantly into an unrecognizable version of himself#i dont think he had an easy time adjusting to being so different physically#even beyond the fact that he had to spend months/years physically recovering#oughhh its such a weird and complex feeling to miss something that made him miserable#just because that familiarity is more comforting than all of the pain and overstimulation of gaining his senses back#and being a completely different person physically#i also think hed have trouble sleeping for a while and start Thinking About Things He Shouldn't at night again#this is one of those things#fma#fullmetal alchemist#fma fanart#fmab fanart#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood#fma art#fmab#fma brotherhood
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inkskinned · 5 months ago
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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lucabyte · 1 year ago
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i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.
i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.
anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.
#[isabeau voice] am i insane or does sometimes loop talk like they might have killed their whole family. is that just me? just checking.#nille design highly inspired by @kiwibrain's since its the one that imprinted in my mind. liberties taken since i didnt look @ reference#anyway i have a lot more thoughts on this? i guess ill hide them in the tags...? scroll down i suppose.#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 6 spoilers#isat loop#isat siffrin#isat bonnie#isat nille#isat fanart#in stars and time fanart#doodlebyte#----------------------------------------------------------------------#anyway the extra thoughts. are literally just my general thoughts on postcanon. (and thus are the context for all of my postcanon doodles!)#which is i think nille joins the party before loop reappears for a start (either from a period of nonexistence or just wandering around)#and that like. i think the party should be able to integrate loop as a completely new person. because they are! the secrecy isn't great but#They and Siffrin shuffle into different ecological niches in the party (eg. i think sif is more squeamish after it all but loop isnt)#and while it's not *exactly* what Loop wanted they get that beggars can't be choosers. and its pretty good#(i am glossing over how i think loop's reappearence drags both them and siffrin into a massive behavioural backslide and is likely a bit#distressing to watch go down. cycle of argument -> lovebombing -> normalcy -> repeat. etc etc. but since they are no longer literally#stewing in the worst pressure cooker of all time they do resolve it via productive conversation on their own time. its fine)#the party well-meaningly tries to deduce things from loop's vagueries and are able to pin down the DEAD FAMILY vibe pretty quickly.#but eventually the question of their prior identity falls by the wayside because well! they're just their friend loop! (also change belief)#as for how The Truth Come Out... this is what i mean by The Isabeau Torment Nexus(tm). which is that i think... isiloop should almost occur#BEFORE isabeau knows who loop is. he's just genuinely charmed by them eventually and tries to close the open end of the polycule#which FREAKS LOOP THE FUCK OUT because thats just too genuinely sick and wrong. and obviously w emotions high its not a great confrontation#ANYWAY told u i had more thoughts. if i were normal itd be a text post but.
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deoidesign · 11 months ago
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Doing master studies the only way I know how: Stealing them and making them my guys.
(Barberini Faun)
(The Fallen Angel - Alexandre Cabanel)
(Covent Garden - William Bruce Ellis Rankin)
#obviously. not actually theft...#i was gonna say these are public domain but covent garden actually isnt yet#it will be. in two years.#thats the most different one though like i added a whole new guy..#maybe not the most different. barberini faun is pretty different i just took the post#pose#its barely even a study. thats not true#but. what was i saying.#oh its not theft it's study... the purpose is to learn!!! but also. if im gonna spend like 2 days on something...#its GONNA be my guys#otherwise. idk. i only want to spend 30 or so minutes per study#just to get the notes down and the practice for the skill im working on#i dont get all that much more out of completely rendering a master study. PERSONALLY.#at least definitely not enough to be worth taking 100x longer#but making them my characters makes it worth going all the way!!!#plus it's good practice w like. not just going 1:1 but actually genuinely interpreting whats there so i can manipulate it...#again. personally. this is just how i worm#WORK#youd better worm bitch#uhm... anyways yeah. ive done lots of study but why TF share it LMAO i dont even save it#its just to learn. ive got 1 million other drawings to save and look at later.#once the learning is done it's done its job and i have no need anymore#this is why the only studies i have are from school. i had to save and upload them#well. ok also i dont study as much now BUT in my defense im a full time artist#an hour or so a week is different ok im learning while working too.. i learned how to learn and i do it all the time now#master studies#digital art#my art#illustration#my ocs
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toffeebrews · 11 months ago
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Mspaint dream doodles (oh and killer is there 2 ig)
( forgot credits again eugh dream is owned by @/jokublog and killer is owned by @/rahafwabas)
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proidents · 12 days ago
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i havent been into tog in like 4-5ish years but one thing that really bothered me when i was into it was the whole simp bam thing idk. i think people need to stop seeing rachel and bam as exes and start seeing them as mother figure and son. yes even though they look/act somewhat close in age. like i mean quite literally she raised him and taught him everything he knew up until the point he entered the tower. even his kindness was taught to him by rachel even after every horrible thing she's done. yes this is even though she looks more like his older sister. i feel like her youth/youthful appearance is intentional (at least to me) since irl girls and women are also forced into motherly roles much younger than theyre ready for
#also the way that shes essentially supposed to put aside all her ambitions aside so bam can be the hero of the story is so heavily -#reminiscient of how mothers/pregnant people are supposed to put aside their goals and their glory for the sake of their child#and sometimes that child wasnt really a choice that the mother had in the first place#but they were nevertheless expected to put aside their health their life their goals their glory#aside for the sake of the baby/fetus. i remember a few years back a work of art that really stuck with me was of a knight asked to -#carry her fetus to term because that child will one day become great and she says “what about me? what of my glory?” and i fucking cried -#like a little baby. anyway i think its stated/heavily implied that rachel didnt have a choice at all in raising bam in that cave and shes#constantly told by those around her - by the first thing she sees in the tower#you are not important. your ambition does not matter -#only the boy you were forced to raise matters in this story - he's everything you wanted to be and everything you were forced to give up#and thats just so devastating to me. obviously im not trying to say she isnt a terrible person#or try to absolve her of the things she did (i mean also. its the fucking tower its the betrayal building what did you expect)#but also the complete lack of understanding of her and bam's relationship and complete insensitivity to her situation#at least from the fandom that was active in 2020-2021 really fucking bothers me.#idk man its been a while#tower of god#rachel tower of god#tower of god rachel#rachel tog#the 25th bam#also if the fandom now is like. really different from what i remember im sorry for like. yapping about this shit to you guys#anyway rachel my specialest girl i stand with my cancelled wife (she deserves some of the backlash but i stand with her anyway)#tog#25th bam
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gifti3 · 2 months ago
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could u imagine the type of memes that would be circulating if alternates were a real thing...
#i genuinely think some ppl would be brain rotted enough to avoid getting MAD#not everyone obviously but a few#on the brightside the stupid jokes and edits online would be very high quality#some ppl will joke til their dying breath u know#me personally i think some would be funny at first#and then eventually id be like....oh we r so cooked#if i somehow managed to live long enough that is#honestly the first person u personally know to get snatched would probably be the point u stop laughing#or maybe not#it really depends on the person!#when it comes to this whole being psychologically attacked thing#everyones different#....but in the end i believe in the persistence of humans (whether i want to or not lol)#we r so great in amount and variation that theres always gonna be a handful of ppl at least who can survive no matter what#some people r just so sure of themselves and their mind that nothing would be able to crack them#especially if theyre the EXTREME loner type and dont have friends or family to worry about!#at that point their mental weaknesses would be almost null#then some people would have high willpower and ultimately it wouldnt DIRECTLY be an alternate themselves that fucks them up#it would probably be their health failing them cause they cant get the professional help they need to get better or something like that#or some other shit like a wild animal or something haha#ik some of these attacks arent fear based either#despair works too#thats one thing i remember from the few clips i saw of the mandela catalogue...#i think that would be the main tactic for alts to use after picking off most of the humans#the depression of being completely alone and hopelessness would start to hit the average person#help i was talking about memes and ended up going somewhere else#inchresting world
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lordgeneralsix · 6 months ago
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I can't remember who said this but there was this one dev who said that when making romanceable characters they have to be attractive in some way (personality, looks, not too morally fucked up etc). and since I read that, the statement hasn't left my mind and I'm very aware now of whenever outside influence and modern discourse get to me or other writers. like just yesterday I found myself rewriting a scene to be more "comfortable" to witness, even though the point was to be emotionally charged and face a difficult topic the character had been actively lying about. but some things can't be glossed over. sometimes it's good when media grabs you by the shoulders and makes you face horrible shit. it's good when media makes you uncomfortable even if it's coming from a ~romanceable companion~. that means it's working. if you remain comfortable forever you learn nothing.
I bring this up bc the veilguard companions are the perfect example and victims of the "romanceable characters need to be attractive" mindset. they don't have ugly sides, they don't fight with each other--and I mean really fight--they don't have controversial opinions or do problematic things. they don't ever question your authority over their lives and why you're the guy in charge. they are nice and perfect and their problems aren't really that serious and can be fixed by simply having a therapy session w rook (bc being possessed or gaining new magic isn't a big deal in a world where previously such events are Very distressing and hard to control). they are further proof that trying too hard to make something attractive has the complete opposite effect if your brain isn't the size of a pebble.
it's overall very frustrating that big game developers continue to be so spineless and I'm not giving anyone a pass for shallow writing, especially from a franchise that is known to have complex characters. none of this is impressive after the first three dragon age games, which were well loved and dissected and debated for years after their release. that isn't to say these games don't have kind characters, having that balance is why I personally like dark fantasy and liked what the dragon age games offered (whenever the writing was good..). it's not dark for the sake of being dark (see grimdark), there's a reason why these things are happening, and in this world no one is completely innocent even if they have good intentions. most people like when their characters aren't always kind or agreeable, bc it's extremely rewarding to finally find that middle ground (of course I have to bring up larian, who made bg3 and proved just how much people appreciate flawed characters, see astarion). conflict is the driving force of a story, no matter what it is. even the most sickeningly sweet cozy slice of life story will have some kind of conflict. it's unavoidable. that's life. taking that away is setting yourself up for failure and all that remains is a boring story full of boring people. no one cares about characters who have their lives together.
(the post is technically over but I wanted to put some final thoughts under the cut bc this got longer than I meant)
I want to go back to the statement real quick... like i do agree, it's true as writers we'll subconsciously (or consciously if you're insecure) try to make our characters appealing, but this is the common trap writers fall into by giving a shit about what others think and want from Their work (which btw I fully believe in writing what you want even if it's "bad" because something with genuine soul will never be as bad as soulless cashgrabs). romanceable characters can and should be as flawed as you'd make any other character, bc trust me there's an audience for everything. even a random npc with two lines will be attractive to someone.
the pressure of an imaginary audience is what pushes writers into a corner and prevents writers from writing and exploring what They want. it's the writer's story first, not the audience's. I think the romanceable companion trap can be easily avoided if writers just 1) grow a bit of a backbone and 2) ask themselves if this is even a necessary or insightful mechanic that will help develop a character further. ask themselves if this character even has the capacity to handle a romantic relationship bc everything else is subjective and it's impossible to appeal to everyone (which apparently this is a controversial take). I won't sit here and pretend that I don't appreciate a good romance, but sometimes all someone really needs is a friend.
obsidian is a good example of self aware devs. they tried to do romance for pillars of eternity 2 bc of fan demand, and it didn't work very well. now for avowed, they didn't explore romance bc they know it's not their strong suit and don't feel it's necessary for this story, instead that time and effort went to developing the characters in other meaningful ways. I have nothing but respect for such a decision bc they know what they want from their story instead of lying and trying to be everything at once. less is more as they say.
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rez-urrection · 1 year ago
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healing is blocking rp blogs who grossly mischaracterize rick and morty
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d3lph1n1um · 1 month ago
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I'm really into both Dylan and Xacari's stories but I haven't quite developed the characters all the way, and I was wondering if you guys would mind me using Tumblr to do that, and getting some feedback on the little bits I post as I go
I'm giving you guys a week to answer this one because I want feedback from as many people as I can get. There's like 28 of you following me and 26 aren't bots so I'm expecting 26 votes by the end of the week 😡/j
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thedrotter · 9 months ago
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redrew a few old expressions from february!!! one never notices how much their art style changes in some months till you compare side by side www
(the old ones for comparison ↓)
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#re:kinder#yuuichi mizuoka#fanart#you had no idea how bad my hand was itching to draw him i was so gon die there (joke)#more so because i replayed the game these days and wanted to check my old expression sheets from february i made based on some lines ...#usual commentary time☺️☺️☺️#top left may be obviously different and thats because i didnt actually base it off the old one in that case. i based it off his sprite#but the old one is based on that same sprite; just with context of line so...#no idea what went on these months that the way i drew his ahoge went from simple strands to little circular things JEKSNDL#im not sure how to explain it but point is i . i dont know what happened there but now my brain doesnt let me draw it any other way#top right had his line of sight changed for a very goofy detail i completely overlooked in the old one ... he is the baby of the group😭#it's very unlikely anyone's shorter than him and since everyone goes from being 1 to 4 years older than him. hes gonna end up looking up😭😭#it would be one thing if the cast was older because puberty and height and stuff but it aint the case here cuz. he's like. 7??😭#so i found it funny he was looking down in the old one then i fixed his line of sight to he looking upwards . which looks goofier on him#really adds to it. the person who killed your whoel family needs to look up to look at you in the eye😭 cuz its a little baby😭😭#the fun thing in comparing the old and new is how my approach in drawing him just. changes completely#back then i did the chibi like approach when drawing him thats it. that was the mindset#now it's “he needs to look more like a bug MAKE HIS EYES TAKE MORE SPACE IN HIS FACE he neeeddds to look like a bug ...”#worked i need to put him in a blender /JOKE JOKE JOKE LIGHTHEARTED JOKE😭😭
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lokh · 24 days ago
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dude. starting to wish id gone with the teach yourself series for language learning vs the hugo in 3 months series
#now to be fair the edition i have is from the. 90s LOL and i chose it cos it had audio and the one thing im suffering with is listening comp#but. ive had a look at the teach yourself swedish edition i have (also 90s). and. god. it looks significantly better#ie more engaging (pictures LOL). more varied but also practical activities. a lot of relevant cultural info not mentioned in the hugo serie#and thats from a skim. the engaging part i will actually say IS important because the one thing youre fighting to do when learning#is actually retaining anything AND THEN being able to recall it/actually produce language#THAT SAID. the drive i had gotten those books from was actually taken down (hit with copyright infringement)#and the backup of that drive was also taken down#which is a massive shame and i hope op is able to get it back up eventually. there were a LOT of resources on there#that said i did keep a local copy of the swedish folder. no idea how id get that to anyone though cos the files are huge#i know its like. i can still DO the series LMAO#but im worried id start to do the thing i did with japanese. which is to keep engaging with like beginner level texts/courses#instead of focusing on actually like. progressing lol.#the vocabulary DID differ greatly from the skim though so i should take a look anyhow if not actually complete it#TO BE CLEARRR i did find the hugo book helpful. my only prior experience learning swedish before then was. du*lingo (🤮)#but like. ur obviously not getting 'fluent' in 3 months with the book alone lol
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the-autism-album · 4 months ago
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JESSE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
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akascow · 1 year ago
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another g1v3 discourse rant :/
‘g3 is too childlike now’ need i remind yall theyre 15?? thats how 15 year olds act bro😭😭 if anything g1 was way too adult
also the show is targeted towards kids ofc theyre gonna seem childlike in the eyes of an adult
and the reason the fashion was ‘dulled down’ a bit is probably bc most modern 15 year olds arent obsessed with 2010s fashion that yall so desperately crave HAHA
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sieglinde-freud · 11 months ago
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asugis honestly such a cool character locked behind 1) the most horrible plot device in any game ive ever seen in my life and 2) looking too much like a guy from the last game and it SUCKS because he was basically already given a great character concept with all the saizo stuff but then intsys was like “wait but what if was also gaius?!” which killed the appeal for most people. which i get, but hes also just… like he has some similar speech patterns but they were both brought up so differently and in wildly different contexts its like… hes really… not gaius… the most hes got is like the sweets thing but even then they both go about the candy thing pretty differently so? its just the fucking hair. which, by the way, asugi doesn’t even look good with gaius orange. like omg… idk man i think asugis a really fun guy with good supports all around and it just sucks hes brought down by the worst gimmicks of all time
#freudian slips#ive been thinking about him a lot lately#i just really like him… hes my baby son…#i also think hes one of the few kids with a GOOD second parent support#like yes its generic but it does a lot for his characterization#and shows that hes not just some thief guy shrugging off the saizo name for fun and bc he doesnt gaf#but hes literally just. a boy. who loves his mom and is trying his best to figure himself out after all the crap his dad does#which btw i love saizo. thats my husband btw. not hating.#but it just makes sense asugi would want to shy away from all of that until he thinks hes ready to have that name again#ITS SO COOL its such a great concept but all i ever hear is ‘hes just gaius but bad’ THOSE R TWO DIFFERENT GUYS……#i know its hard to see that bc no one likes reading fates supports but. THEY ARE#ive seen people say shit like ‘asugi/caeldori support is literally exactly the same as gaius/cordelia’#and thats how i KNOW yall dont read bc its literally not 😭#the C support is a callback but the B-S is completely different#take it from someone whos read both chains five thousand times. or j go read it yourself#i assume asugi/rhajat and gaius/tharja is in the same boat but i dont remember those chains as well#ugh. anyways. been slowly going through fates second gen supports and finding a greater appreciation for them#i mean ive always LIKED them but i never went to deep on them. i dont like them as much as the awakening second gen obviously. look at me.#and i think the deeprealm thing means i probably never will bc i think a large amount of appeal that the awakening second gen has#is that they were all put in the SAME bad circumstance TOGETHER#unlike how the deeprealms for each kid are all separate#and yk. i can believe the second gen story a bit more 😭 but still i need to give the fates kids their flowers theyre all p cool so far#some of them i like more than others. like asugi. but im having fun with them
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