#but thats obviously completely different
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Hey so did anyone else grow up absolutely dreading that thing where teachers would pair kids up to take care of a doll? 'Cause just the idea of me pretending to be married with a kid made me want to throw up back then and it still does now. Thankfully they never made me do that, I probably would have had a full meltdown if they did.
Anyway, is this a form of dysphoria??
#not sure what to tag this#dysphoria#gender dysphoria#maybe???#i identify with my assigned pronouns#but the idea of being a mother is my worst nightmare#i only accept the title of 'mother' in relation to my cat#but thats obviously completely different#also going to tag#asexual#aroace#acespec#sex repulsed#cuz my fear of sex might be relevant here#and going to throw in#nonbinary#for good measure#peregrine op
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i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.
i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.
anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.
#[isabeau voice] am i insane or does sometimes loop talk like they might have killed their whole family. is that just me? just checking.#nille design highly inspired by @kiwibrain's since its the one that imprinted in my mind. liberties taken since i didnt look @ reference#anyway i have a lot more thoughts on this? i guess ill hide them in the tags...? scroll down i suppose.#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 6 spoilers#isat loop#isat siffrin#isat bonnie#isat nille#isat fanart#in stars and time fanart#doodlebyte#----------------------------------------------------------------------#anyway the extra thoughts. are literally just my general thoughts on postcanon. (and thus are the context for all of my postcanon doodles!)#which is i think nille joins the party before loop reappears for a start (either from a period of nonexistence or just wandering around)#and that like. i think the party should be able to integrate loop as a completely new person. because they are! the secrecy isn't great but#They and Siffrin shuffle into different ecological niches in the party (eg. i think sif is more squeamish after it all but loop isnt)#and while it's not *exactly* what Loop wanted they get that beggars can't be choosers. and its pretty good#(i am glossing over how i think loop's reappearence drags both them and siffrin into a massive behavioural backslide and is likely a bit#distressing to watch go down. cycle of argument -> lovebombing -> normalcy -> repeat. etc etc. but since they are no longer literally#stewing in the worst pressure cooker of all time they do resolve it via productive conversation on their own time. its fine)#the party well-meaningly tries to deduce things from loop's vagueries and are able to pin down the DEAD FAMILY vibe pretty quickly.#but eventually the question of their prior identity falls by the wayside because well! they're just their friend loop! (also change belief)#as for how The Truth Come Out... this is what i mean by The Isabeau Torment Nexus(tm). which is that i think... isiloop should almost occur#BEFORE isabeau knows who loop is. he's just genuinely charmed by them eventually and tries to close the open end of the polycule#which FREAKS LOOP THE FUCK OUT because thats just too genuinely sick and wrong. and obviously w emotions high its not a great confrontation#ANYWAY told u i had more thoughts. if i were normal itd be a text post but.
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Doing master studies the only way I know how: Stealing them and making them my guys.
(Barberini Faun)
(The Fallen Angel - Alexandre Cabanel)
(Covent Garden - William Bruce Ellis Rankin)
#obviously. not actually theft...#i was gonna say these are public domain but covent garden actually isnt yet#it will be. in two years.#thats the most different one though like i added a whole new guy..#maybe not the most different. barberini faun is pretty different i just took the post#pose#its barely even a study. thats not true#but. what was i saying.#oh its not theft it's study... the purpose is to learn!!! but also. if im gonna spend like 2 days on something...#its GONNA be my guys#otherwise. idk. i only want to spend 30 or so minutes per study#just to get the notes down and the practice for the skill im working on#i dont get all that much more out of completely rendering a master study. PERSONALLY.#at least definitely not enough to be worth taking 100x longer#but making them my characters makes it worth going all the way!!!#plus it's good practice w like. not just going 1:1 but actually genuinely interpreting whats there so i can manipulate it...#again. personally. this is just how i worm#WORK#youd better worm bitch#uhm... anyways yeah. ive done lots of study but why TF share it LMAO i dont even save it#its just to learn. ive got 1 million other drawings to save and look at later.#once the learning is done it's done its job and i have no need anymore#this is why the only studies i have are from school. i had to save and upload them#well. ok also i dont study as much now BUT in my defense im a full time artist#an hour or so a week is different ok im learning while working too.. i learned how to learn and i do it all the time now#master studies#digital art#my art#illustration#my ocs
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Mspaint dream doodles (oh and killer is there 2 ig)
( forgot credits again eugh dream is owned by @/jokublog and killer is owned by @/rahafwabas)
#I was doing these to destress a bit#lol#toffeesdoodles#dream sans#killer sans#cw creepy smile#?#idk#utmv#why are doodles on main?#you see#i just liked these#thats it#i love how the vibes are completely different#LMAOOO#“oh yummi cake” “OH SHIT”#also obviously realistically killer would have to sit there a really long time for his goop to form a huge puddle like that#but like#it looked cool
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its @wh0rehound 's birthday and since he is the gaymer to my mafia slut obvs i had to draw our boys 🍫💕🎮 everyone say hbd sam!!! 😤🎉🎂
#death note#mellodramattic#mihael keehl#mello#mail jeevas#matt death note#my art#i was listening to the foundations and marvin gaye and four tops and such... frankie valli. stevie wonder. sam cooke etc. u get the vibe#matt and mello can have little a OOC cute bullshit. as a treat#one thing abt me. i love to split one set of pjs between a ship... its a top tier trope#another thing abt me. i love 2 draw ppl who love each other dancing 2gether#i fuckin SPED thru this btw (by my standards at least lol) this was like 10.5hrs of work and 9 of those were consecutive hsdfghjkl#which. me calling 10 hrs fast is not an exaggeration... thats so quick to finish for me. & it was a STRUGGLE to make myself call this done#but im CALLING IT. its super cute and it doesnt have to be perfect... the crunchy coloring is charming and adds 2 the aesth#i do wish id put more hearts but ITS DONE ITS FINISHED AND IM NOT GONNA MESS W IT ANY MORE. IT IS COMPLETE#drawing other ppls headcanons is always so fun... sams matt is so different from mine but so dear to me. scrawny little git#hes also very dear to my mello obviously <3#AND OUR RP IS ROUGH AND SAD RN SO I WANTED 2 DRAW SMTHNG EXTRA CUTE AND SWEET. AND I DID!!! THEYRE IN LOVE#sketch
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healing is blocking rp blogs who grossly mischaracterize rick and morty
#those arent headcanons thats a completely different character 🗣‼️#rick and morty#rick sanchez#r&m#rnm#c-137#c-137 obviously#morty smith#anyways rick and bird person 100 years#rick and morty 100 years#morty prime#morty prime obviously
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wanted to post the royals and co. as a set for reference, though the only new things here are the king+queen and koe's updated design :p also most of them didn't get little infoboxes so those will be a first under the cut here ^_^
Name: Andromeda (Andy)
Name origin: The Andromeda Galaxy, named for the mythical princess
Pronouns: She/her
Age: 20
Title: Heir apparent
Weapon: Flamberge (Same as her mom's)
Ethos (Power): None
Flaw power is based on: N/A
Notes: She wants to go on adventures someday, and make a lot of friends, and be normal. So please drop the "Your highness" and call her Andy!
Name: Cepheus
Name origin: The constellation Cepheus, the king
Pronouns: He/him
Age: 54
Title: King
Weapon: Scepter
Ethos (Power): Authority (The ability to control people’s actions through his words, but not their minds)
Flaw power is based on: His controlling and paranoid nature
Notes: He prefers not to use his ability unless it seems necessary, but ends will justify the means.
Name: Cassiopeia
Name origin: The constellation Cassiopeia, the queen
Pronouns: She/her
Age: -
Title: Queen
Weapon: Flamberge
Ethos (Power): Alis (The ability to generate wings)
Flaw power is based on: Her overconfidence in her own abilities, ironically like a completely different winged mythological figure...
Notes: Before being the Queen, she was the Hero.
Name: Koeia/Koe
Name origin: The star Koeia, whose name literally means "Star"
Pronouns: She/her
Age: 20
Title: Maid/Andromeda's lady in waiting
Weapon: Twin Sickles
Ethos (Power): Blessing (She can make others more powerful through cheering them on)
Flaw power is based on: Her Obsequiousness
Notes: She assures you her devotion to the princess is strictly for non-homosexual reasons
Name: Perseus/Percy
Name origin: The constellation Perseus, the hero
Pronouns: He/him
Age: 21
Title: 1st Knight/Andromeda's personal guard
Weapon: Harpē sword
Ethos (Power): Divine swordstrike (An all-powerful swing of the sword with no limit)
Flaw power is based on: His incredible arrogance and show-offishness
Notes: He assures you that his showy devotion to the princess is as heterosexual as it seems. Also he's the cousin Io from Nova Stella
Name: Ursa
Name origin: Ursa major, the big dipper.
Pronouns: She/her
Age: 38
Title: Major
Weapon: None
Ethos (Power): Bear-handed (Her claws are unbreakable and can slice through any material)
Flaw power is based on: Her hyper-diligence. Her ruthless devotion and adherence. Literally nothing could ever stand in her way.
Notes: She’s the mama bear of Kochab (Ursa minor) from the timber scouts
#reason i wanted to change koe's design was bc i felt like the first one was a bit too basic ig?#wanted to give it more personality beyond being a maid outfit#so a funkier skirt and shorter sleeves and gloves and stuff. idk its more koe and less maid. but still maid#other than that obviously are the two wholly new characters#honestly designing them was interesting in a way bc it was like reverse engineering andys face#i think she takes after her mom more tho#but she also does try to emulate her so thats also part of it#honestly andy is really similar to amary in a lot of ways not just bc of the whole princess thing but the family dynamics to a degree too#there are still some pretty big differences (andy wasnt abused but her father is still really strict and constraining out of worry#and amary's mom was actually kinda the polar opposite of andy's and their emulations are completely different too)#BUT#look read cepheus's flaw. hes not going to be a good guy lol#hes the type that starts out nice enough on the surface but when pushed it will become. again. ends justify the means#very.... 'my way or the highway' type guy i guess. but with power#cassiopeia s more noble than that though despite any arrogance in her skills#its like one side of a balancing act lost#again look at her power. its wings! wings mean freedom! no restraint! touch the sky!#unfortunately kingdoms arent usually about that is the thing#maybe andy can fix it now though#but honestly andy percy and ursa are pretty much all just here for convenience#it wouldve been easier to have a ref post lumping all royals and andy's entourage together. and ursa i guess idk where else shed go lol#i thought abt putting her w the zodiac knights but their theme is too uniform. background color is the same tho so same affiliation#w the royals#also does anyone get my amazing joke. shes a major. major ursa. ursa major. i know i know#ill be here all week#finn's ocs#oc references#finn's art
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redrew a few old expressions from february!!! one never notices how much their art style changes in some months till you compare side by side www
(the old ones for comparison ↓)
#re:kinder#yuuichi mizuoka#fanart#you had no idea how bad my hand was itching to draw him i was so gon die there (joke)#more so because i replayed the game these days and wanted to check my old expression sheets from february i made based on some lines ...#usual commentary time☺️☺️☺️#top left may be obviously different and thats because i didnt actually base it off the old one in that case. i based it off his sprite#but the old one is based on that same sprite; just with context of line so...#no idea what went on these months that the way i drew his ahoge went from simple strands to little circular things JEKSNDL#im not sure how to explain it but point is i . i dont know what happened there but now my brain doesnt let me draw it any other way#top right had his line of sight changed for a very goofy detail i completely overlooked in the old one ... he is the baby of the group😭#it's very unlikely anyone's shorter than him and since everyone goes from being 1 to 4 years older than him. hes gonna end up looking up😭😭#it would be one thing if the cast was older because puberty and height and stuff but it aint the case here cuz. he's like. 7??😭#so i found it funny he was looking down in the old one then i fixed his line of sight to he looking upwards . which looks goofier on him#really adds to it. the person who killed your whoel family needs to look up to look at you in the eye😭 cuz its a little baby😭😭#the fun thing in comparing the old and new is how my approach in drawing him just. changes completely#back then i did the chibi like approach when drawing him thats it. that was the mindset#now it's “he needs to look more like a bug MAKE HIS EYES TAKE MORE SPACE IN HIS FACE he neeeddds to look like a bug ...”#worked i need to put him in a blender /JOKE JOKE JOKE LIGHTHEARTED JOKE😭😭
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another g1v3 discourse rant :/
‘g3 is too childlike now’ need i remind yall theyre 15?? thats how 15 year olds act bro😭😭 if anything g1 was way too adult
also the show is targeted towards kids ofc theyre gonna seem childlike in the eyes of an adult
and the reason the fashion was ‘dulled down’ a bit is probably bc most modern 15 year olds arent obsessed with 2010s fashion that yall so desperately crave HAHA
#im so sorry for another g3 discourse post but its all the fandom talks about and i feel like no one gets it😭😭#and u could argue that they could move to modern fashion but imo modern fashion isnt as poppy as 2010s was idk#core refresh lagoona is like epitome of modern fashion anyways so if anything theyre still nailing it#i love g1 AND g3 but yall really need to open ur eyes AHAHA#its fine to criticize shows obviously but u need to realize its okay the shows and characters arent a shot for shot remake#all the hate just feels like ppl dont like that theyre 100% the same. g3 and 1 are TWO DIFFERENT UNIVERSES its NOT a sequel its a REMAKE !!#if u love g1 so much then rewatch the g1 media. no ones forcing u to watch g3 🤷🏻♀️#g5(?) mlp is COMPLETELY different than g1 mlp. thats just how toy brands work. theyre different lore and different universes and thats okay#monster high
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it is a little sad that the game writers and the fandom are so blatantly in favour of astarion as the Designated Woobie, and then wyll, and even gale to an extent, get less content. and their stories get framed as jokes, or like they weren't ~really~ harmed because the person manipulating them was a hot woman... imagine the screaming if cazador was also a romance option and hung out unkillably in your camp? but somehow it's ok for mizora, and the writers themselves can say that gale is the most annoying companion and deserves to blow up. i feel like i usually get attached to the companion characters in rpgs with the least content, which is fine, but it's a weird energy when the writers themselves seem to dislike the character.
i think that's one thing from the writers that like. didn't surprise me at all in regards to them calling Gale annoying or that he deserves to blow up lmao. like, these are same writers who rewrote wyll based on racist ass fans feedback and gave final version Wyll his unfinished and weak story, with the least amount of romance scenes + dialogue of any origin characters. the writers also failed to give him a storyline that was strictly about him, not his father, not mizora, and not balduran lmfao. top it all off with the fact you can 'romance' his abuser and then be incredibly cruel and vile towards him afterwards... like the writers are racist as hell idk.
I'm not surprised they said these things abt Gale either when they have a very obvious favoritism issue going on with their writing and how they treat their own characters
#asks#sorry this is a big ramble but yeah. its kinda terrible. im annoyed and dont trust the writers at all#gale obviously has a more complete and concise romance + storyline thats not really debatable but . the writers treat him pretty bad too#i didnt really speak on the gale thing because hes not really a character i think much abt but it was definitely cruel and uncalled for#also gale is incredibly more popular than wyll is in fandom and 'dislike' for each is based on different components that arent comparable#wylls hate is racism and antiblackness. ppl hate gale because they fnd him annoying or something of the sort#<- i dont hate him but you cant really conflate the two in regards to their treatment in fandom#gale interview
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everyone is sooo in love with vakori on account of le is so cool and smart and deeply pragmatic and is also completely batshit insane
#oc#monochrome#sketch#velan#vakori#rocaim#rocaim and vakori are rex and taz and adder and silas's parents#adder and silas get their looks from vakori; rex and taz to a slightly lesser degree get it from rocaim#rex specifically is like a sharper clone of him. fucks velan up all the time because their personalities are completely totally different#rocaim was very like. gentle and understanding. good with kids and well-liked by basically everyone. a very effective mediator#rex is obviously none of those things lmao. every time he says something particularly insensitive it surprises her for like six years runni#anyway rocaim is in love wtih vakori. velan is in love with vakori. vakori is aro as they come but insanely pragmatic#like. ok le's based loosely off my ex. like. so le's SCARY pragmatic. so fucking cool about it everyone with a brain is specifically like#'woag oh my god le's so pragmatic im in love with her'. anyway eventually le's like 'hi rocaim. here are the objective reasons that i think#that if we got married it would mean i had better standing and more power in the organization we're both committed to. would you be#opposed to possibly getting married with me on the grounds that it would get me respect and power' and rocaim. who is already head over#heels for ler specifically because le makes these kinds of decisions and sees with this kind of logic is like. Absolutely. 100%#then for the next four years of their formal engagement people keep taking rocaim aside and being like hey... i have bad news...#...that leya you're engaged to... le's not romantically interested in you the same way you're romantically interested in ler... le only#wants you because you're an Ath and le wants a voice in the interclan meetsings... and then when Rocaim is like yeah i know#thats why i want to marry ler isnt that like the sexiest fucking reasoning you've EVER heard. no one gets it but velan#who is also in love with ler for the same reasons but has no such claims to power#and who also is not equipped for a polycule nor willing to try to go behind rocaim's back because unfortunately for her. she is also in lov#with rocaim. me when im in love with my friend and my friend's wife and also i'm pretty sure they both reciprocate but they're both#married and i dont really know what to do about it and also all three of us are very Traditional and that is not the Tradition:#and then they both die and she never quite deals with that.#but she DOES get to raise their (surviving) kids :) most of whom are fucking nightmares#life is so difficult for velan. like actually#closerverse#cv
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I can't remember who said this but there was this one dev who said that when making romanceable characters they have to be attractive in some way (personality, looks, not too morally fucked up etc). and since I read that, the statement hasn't left my mind and I'm very aware now of whenever outside influence and modern discourse get to me or other writers. like just yesterday I found myself rewriting a scene to be more "comfortable" to witness, even though the point was to be emotionally charged and face a difficult topic the character had been actively lying about. but some things can't be glossed over. sometimes it's good when media grabs you by the shoulders and makes you face horrible shit. it's good when media makes you uncomfortable even if it's coming from a ~romanceable companion~. that means it's working. if you remain comfortable forever you learn nothing.
I bring this up bc the veilguard companions are the perfect example and victims of the "romanceable characters need to be attractive" mindset. they don't have ugly sides, they don't fight with each other--and I mean really fight--they don't have controversial opinions or do problematic things. they don't ever question your authority over their lives and why you're the guy in charge. they are nice and perfect and their problems aren't really that serious and can be fixed by simply having a therapy session w rook (bc being possessed or gaining new magic isn't a big deal in a world where previously such events are Very distressing and hard to control). they are further proof that trying too hard to make something attractive has the complete opposite effect if your brain isn't the size of a pebble.
it's overall very frustrating that big game developers continue to be so spineless and I'm not giving anyone a pass for shallow writing, especially from a franchise that is known to have complex characters. none of this is impressive after the first three dragon age games, which were well loved and dissected and debated for years after their release. that isn't to say these games don't have kind characters, having that balance is why I personally like dark fantasy and liked what the dragon age games offered (whenever the writing was good..). it's not dark for the sake of being dark (see grimdark), there's a reason why these things are happening, and in this world no one is completely innocent even if they have good intentions. most people like when their characters aren't always kind or agreeable, bc it's extremely rewarding to finally find that middle ground (of course I have to bring up larian, who made bg3 and proved just how much people appreciate flawed characters, see astarion). conflict is the driving force of a story, no matter what it is. even the most sickeningly sweet cozy slice of life story will have some kind of conflict. it's unavoidable. that's life. taking that away is setting yourself up for failure and all that remains is a boring story full of boring people. no one cares about characters who have their lives together.
(the post is technically over but I wanted to put some final thoughts under the cut bc this got longer than I meant)
I want to go back to the statement real quick... like i do agree, it's true as writers we'll subconsciously (or consciously if you're insecure) try to make our characters appealing, but this is the common trap writers fall into by giving a shit about what others think and want from Their work (which btw I fully believe in writing what you want even if it's "bad" because something with genuine soul will never be as bad as soulless cashgrabs). romanceable characters can and should be as flawed as you'd make any other character, bc trust me there's an audience for everything. even a random npc with two lines will be attractive to someone.
the pressure of an imaginary audience is what pushes writers into a corner and prevents writers from writing and exploring what They want. it's the writer's story first, not the audience's. I think the romanceable companion trap can be easily avoided if writers just 1) grow a bit of a backbone and 2) ask themselves if this is even a necessary or insightful mechanic that will help develop a character further. ask themselves if this character even has the capacity to handle a romantic relationship bc everything else is subjective and it's impossible to appeal to everyone (which apparently this is a controversial take). I won't sit here and pretend that I don't appreciate a good romance, but sometimes all someone really needs is a friend.
obsidian is a good example of self aware devs. they tried to do romance for pillars of eternity 2 bc of fan demand, and it didn't work very well. now for avowed, they didn't explore romance bc they know it's not their strong suit and don't feel it's necessary for this story, instead that time and effort went to developing the characters in other meaningful ways. I have nothing but respect for such a decision bc they know what they want from their story instead of lying and trying to be everything at once. less is more as they say.
#this was supposed to be a small post but . yk how it is#wrote this instead of working on my stupid art projects i am about to walk into the woods and never return i hate college#anyway. enjoy my rambling there's a point in there somewhere probably#nothing against the dev who said that btw i thought it was interesting for them to say since it is true#its hard to not think about the potential audience when creating something but we have to try to ignore them#i think i wanted to say more but whatever this generally covers my thoughts#and i know everything is subjective maybe people Do want their romanceable characters to be attractive and unproblematic#good for you. there's genres for that. but in a dark fantasy setting? some things just don't work like that. genres exist for a reason#i want my companions to be messy mfs not pretty perfect angels#also☝️dont be stupid i don't condone writers having personal agendas and writing hateful things#thats a completely different thing and obviously not what i meant#a writer should always be a neutral observer of their work. nothing else.#bioware critical#six speaks#oh also again... nothing wrong with um 'normal' and kind characters. but when everyone is like that it gets boring. variety ok
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Why is it so difficult to find a lunar calendar from the 10th century? I don't think I'm asking for too much
#ace writes sometimes#writing problems#JOML#ALoM verse#me for absolutely no reason whatsoever: let me find out what their native month would have been#me realising that lunar calendars were obviously the format for calendars back then: hmm thats a whole completely different format#well that doesnt translate very well#guess ill just make my own lunar calendar for fic purposes <- totally sane thought process#baring in mind that kol and renata have different calendars to each other as well because they have different backgrounds#but both use a lunar calendar format
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There's nothing I personally dislike more then an arm full of individual, uninteracting, uncohesive tattoos done at different times. It just looks so busy
#i think its called American patchwork???#or something#thats what got the most results of the thing im looking for#i guess its because ive seen really bad ones#with like completely different line thicknesses and art styles and coloring#if im ever doing any tattoos id have to do a single one or a whole sleeve#obviously im not telling anyone what to do with their bodies i dont actually care#its just nothing id do
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okay i talked to a couple other parts in system abt it and they pointed out that i view characters differently than they do so maybe this is the same irt me vs other ppl outside of us too. under the cut for ppl who do not care and want to just scroll by (understandable and fair) HFDSJKL
i think i am ... very oc-brained and view canon as simply a jumping-off point/building block to use, rather than a rulebook to follow. and i also view characters as much more real than what the other parts in system view them, so this is likely true irt me compared to other ppl too. i know fictional characters are not real people, but there is sort of a space between Real Life and Fiction for me where characters that i latch onto often inhabit. they are fictional, but they grow (age and learn) much the same way real people do. i grew up very isolated from others so i spent a lot of time daydreaming and making up stories and characters to keep me company, and those characters would naturally grow with me because i needed somebody to go through experiences i was going through to connect with since i did not have peers for that. this is just the way i've always created and approached fictional characters fdsjkl and i forget that not everyone is like this.
so i think all this contributes to me not really realizing or remembering that other ppl do view their fictional characters as their source (the fact that people do this is not a bad thing nor a good thing, it is simply a difference in the way we approach fictional characters and that is okay! i am not trying to imply any judgment of any kind here, i'm just stating the difference). and because of this, i do not really realize that oftentimes when people say they age a character up to an adult for shipping purposes, they aren't really doing that in the way that would be okay (to my moral standards anyways, the brain gremlin is saying i have to state that morality is subjective and all of this is simply my opinion). like they are still the same character, just... with a different number of years alive assigned to them and maybe a different body. there's none of the actual growth and experience and maturing and change that happens as you get older and transition into adulthood.
all this to say i think where i'm getting tripped up is that i forget that i approach characters differently than others and often think that everyone is doing it the same as i am when that is not the case. my autistic ass when Theory Of Mind trips me up yet again ( -_-;;)
#sorry for being hysterical fdsjkl i was getting very confused and scared that i was one of ''The Bad Ones'' or smth#i think it is just. that i was not understanding other ppls approaches to things#so i see a post that says ''ppl who do xyz are BAD'' and i go but if i did it i would do it in a way that i think is okay - uh oh am i bad?#bc i forget that ... i do things differently. and theyre not talking about me fdsjkl theyre talking abt a specific way of doing things#though it IS good for me to check myself to make sure i am not doing things in a harmful way!#but i need to remember sometimes a general post does not apply to the way i do things dsfjkl#(though i do worry that maybe OTHER ppl dont realize that some ppl do things differently than what they'd think/assume)#(and in that case. idk what to do. i guess thats partially why i post bc i go ''um what about this way of doing it? is that bad still?'')#(but maybe i shouldnt do that fjdskfl maybe i am an outlier and should not be counted)#OBVIOUSLY IF IM MISSING SMTH PLS LMK. there is a chance im completely missing smth crucial and i dont want to just move on in that case!#dandy.cmd
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tangentially ive been a primarily polyam shipper for a long time and thats very consistent across every fandom ive been in since ons (gureshinmahi were the blueprint and since to this day im still probably gureshinmahi fan no.1 by wc on ao3 alone i think im allowed to clog the nonexistent tag by saying that </3) but something i love about taking a dynamic between 3 characters is that if you divide it up into its requisite pairings you get very different dynamics - and not just between the characters in the romantic relationship. like how the platonic dynamics shift is ALSO so interesting to me. another fave is when A is in unrequited love with B who is mutually in love with C and it doesn't turn into a "B and C actually loved A too and they all lived happily throuple after." but even if it's not all angsty, "my lover's best friend" is a very different dynamic than "my two lovers" or even "my lover's lover" do you know what i mean???? anyway this all a long way of saying im still an "x has two hands" truther deep down but i love exploring all the different flavours of dynamics
#taylor.txt#no one else has any frame of reference for this but entanglement and ratc are so similar thematically in this way of like#theres a romance going on between two characters who are obviously super tied together whether by fate or circumstance but then one of the#characters is like...exposed to a completely different life because of character C's presence and it actually changes how they view their#love interest. in ratc it was how guren noticed how absent shinya was because he got to be with mahiru even though shinya was the one who#got him into that timeline to begin with. out of love for him. and in entanglement its obviously like. the thing i removed from goh's life#was ash and meeting ash was the catalyst for him realizing that his relationship with gary is actually important to him#like ok in ratc its an unrequited love kind of thing but still#i love a good romance where the central relationship is actually not the relationship taking the narrative spotlight#sorry going on and on but this is my long way of saying ash has 83457489 hands even if i dont always write about it. yknow??#also we're getting close to 10 years since i started going feral for gureshinmahi and thats wild. some of yall have been here a long time
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