#i love how the vibes are completely different

[poppyquills]

Hello!! I come with more requests and ideas. Vi, Caitlyn and Jinx with a reader who is very ultra fem and barbiecore but kicks butt.. if that makes sense.

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ Vi, Caitlyn and Jinx with a feminine! S/O that can kick ass HCs ⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚

⋆˚✿˖° warnings -> none.

⋆˚✿˖° content includes -> fluff, very silly.

VI

⋆˚✿˖° Vi doesn’t mind your ultra-feminine style at all. In fact, she thinks it’s kind of cute how unapologetically you embrace it. That being said, if anyone dares to judge you for it, they’ll have to deal with her fists.

⋆˚✿˖° At first, she assumed that someone who wore so much pink and sparkly accessories probably wasn’t ready for a fight. She’d been raised in the streets, after all—practicality and toughness were all she knew.

⋆˚✿˖° That assumption was shattered the first time she witnessed you take down an opponent with style and precision. You were a whirlwind of glitter and chaos, and Vi just stood there, mouth agape, as you adjusted your sunglasses mid-battle.

⋆˚✿˖° When you casually complained about your hair getting messed up during the fight, she couldn’t help but laugh.

⋆˚✿˖° Vi finds your juxtaposition endlessly fascinating. The contrast between your Barbiecore aesthetic and your ability to absolutely demolish anyone in your path makes her adore you even more.

⋆˚✿˖° She secretly loves when you show her new ways to accessorize or add flair to her wardrobe. While she’s still more rough-and-tumble than glam, she finds herself wanting to match your energy—just a little.

CAITLYN KIRAMMAN

⋆˚✿˖° Caitlyn finds your ultra-feminine style charming. She admires your confidence in expressing yourself and ensures that no one looks down on you for it.

⋆˚✿˖° At first, she was concerned that your aesthetic might not be suitable for the battlefield. While she never doubted your intelligence or resourcefulness, she thought your style could be… impractical in a fight.

⋆˚✿˖° That was until she witnessed you effortlessly take down multiple enemies while wearing heels. Caitlyn stood there, amazed, as you smoothed out your dress like it was normal.

⋆˚✿˖° She loves how you turn heads wherever you go, whether it’s for your looks or your combat skills. She feels a swell of pride watching you navigate challenges with both grace and ferocity.

⋆˚✿˖° Sometimes, Caitlyn indulges you when you want to dress her up in pinks or add feminine touches to her usual outfits. Although she doesn’t embrace the aesthetic herself, she secretly enjoys seeing how excited it makes you.

⋆˚✿˖° She admires your ability to be unapologetically feminine while also being a total badass. You’ve changed her perception of strength, and she wouldn’t want you to be any different.

JINX

⋆˚✿˖° Jinx finds your Barbiecore aesthetic hilarious at first, especially when she compares it to her own chaotic, punk vibe.

⋆˚✿˖° Initially, she completely underestimated you. In her mind, anyone who spent so much time perfecting their hair and nails couldn’t possibly be ready to throw down. That illusion was shattered the first time she witnessed you in action.

⋆˚✿˖° Watching you take down enemies with effortless precision while rocking a sparkly pink outfit left her utterly speechless. She stood there, wide-eyed, as you wiped blood off your cheek and casually asked if your lipstick looked okay.

⋆˚✿˖° She thinks you’re the most intriguing person she’s ever met. She loves the blend of glam and ferocity and often brags about how her girlfriend can kick ass and look cute doing it.

⋆˚✿˖° Jinx enjoys accessorizing with you and even starts adding little hints of pink to her chaotic style to match yours. She might pretend to dislike it, but deep down, she loves the idea.

⋆˚✿˖° She is constantly inspired by your confidence and duality. Jinx might not fully grasp how you can be so tough yet so soft at the same time, but she adores it and wouldn’t want you to change a thing.

[demigod-shenanigans]

Oh Thalia for sure is absolutely miserable about the whole thing. She’s pulled right back to when Annabeth went missing in Titan’s Curse. This is the second time she hasn’t been able to protect her, except this time there isn’t even a quest or a mission she’s supposed to be involved in that hints at where she might be. She’s just gone. Vanished overnight without a trace. And then finding out Jason might be alive? (And it’s always might be in her head, she doesn’t really allow herself to hope) Yeah, she’s having a Time about it all

Ooof, yeah, Percy would probably react poorly to the way Reyna is taking charge at camp—which is obviously just what she’s used to having to do, but she also handles a few things very similarly to how Annabeth would have, and he does not like it. Her being similar to Annabeth is probably actively a comfort to the campers who usually looked to Annabeth for guidance, and that’s super upsetting to him because it’s not the same!

I’m also very amused by the thought of Piper and Leo kind of beefing with Percy for a while because they’re annoyed he’s trying to start shit with Reyna when she hasn’t done anything wrong. Reyna herself doesn’t even mind that much because she also has a vague feeling that she doesn’t like Percy (due to him destroying Circe’s Island, which she doesn’t remember, but the bad vibes are still there). Anyway, I feel like they eventually sort this out by severely butting heads in combat training and coming out of it with a begrudging mutual respect lmao

Reyna wanted her memories back because not knowing terrified her, but the moment she gets them back she wishes she could go back to the day before, when things may have felt complicated, but not nearly as much as they do now. She’s been confused about her messy feelings for Piper for a while, but before knowing about the prophecy she was way more certain she could figure it out eventually, especially because Piper is super patient with her and doesn’t seem to mind her taking her time to figure things out. But suddenly she’s got memories of the Aphrodite prophecy and her unrequited crush on Jason and she’s pretty sure she’s never liked a girl before, so that’s several new layers of confusion to add to the pile. (Honestly, it might be good to send her and Nico to see Cupid together in this scenario. Maybe that finally helps her figure things out.)

And she likes Camp Half-Blood. So much. Which she feels awful about, because she’s got a prophecy linking her to a completely different home. Is she allowed to feel even semi-comfortable here? Is that a betrayal of New Rome? Is it confirmations of the fears her father had that led to the way he treated her and her sister?

Actually, speaking of the whole thing with her dad, I’m sure her learning what happened to Leo’s mom and all the ways thats still affecting him when she doesn’t have her memories would result in some… complicated feelings that she in no way understands.

Piper also has messy complicated feelings about the situation with Reyna because in her fake memories, falling in love with Reyna played a huge role in her realizing she was queer. So learning those memories are fake is really hard on her. Her feelings are still very, very real, though, and if nothing else it at least plays into her being very patient with Reyna, because she remembers—and she knows that part isn’t fake, even if the context was—how much of a mess it was for her to figure out her own sexuality.

Jason hates this job. He likes helping people. But he doesn’t like being in charge, and he doesn’t like that that’s what people always expect of him when they look at him. He actively joined the worst cohort and befriended the unpopular kids and he still couldn’t escape what his father’s legacy made him. But if the last few months have proven anything, it’s that he’s not cut out for this job. He can fake it for a while, sure, but he’s just stressed and miserable all the time. The only parts of this he liked was helping people and spending time with Reyna, but Reyna wasn’t there and he hasn't felt like he’s really been able to help anyone in months. He’d probably jump at the opportunity to join the quest and just get away from everything for a while, because he may be miserable as a praetor, but he’s good at the hero part of things. I’m thinking Jason probably takes Reyna’s part from the books, except he tries to deescalate the situation way sooner and then also dips way faster to help out, because at some point it clicks for him that maybe they messed up by assuming the storm or fire part of the prophecy is about Percy and Leo because there’s a decent chance the storm part might be him. Reyna and Nico take the Athena statue back to camp and it kills her not to be there for the final battle but maybe that’s part of her arc—going where she’s needed and realizing it’s okay to leave leadership to other people. She’s the one to build a bridge between camps, which started with her, but New Rome’s survival doesn’t fall entirely on her shoulders. She actively has to take the weight off and leave it to other people to save the world. And that terrifies her, but it’s also a hugely important lesson for her and makes it way easier for her to accept that she can find a home at both camps without it being a betrayal of her person or her beliefs or the prophecy thats haunted her her entire life.

Your Annabeth thoughts are making me weep, oh my god? All of that is so so excellent? Her questioning whether Percy would even like her back with her not remembering everything they went through is agonizing but makes so much sense because of how used she is to not being anyone’s priority. She can’t know she’s found that permanence she’s always looked for in him because everything about him just got ripped away from her, too. Nothing feels steady anymore, so she focuses on what she can control. And that’s the things she can fix at Camp Jupiter. She knows how to run a camp. She knows how to do quests. Hell, New Rome has so many buildings her little architect heart would probably love to take a closer look at and potentially find ways to improve, so that’s also super helpful for her to focus on.

The thing with her dad is heartbreaking. Because yeah, how would he know? Annabeth has been away for so many years, and almost her entire life still takes place away from him. But obviously she doesn’t remember running away at age seven. She doesn’t remember how strained their relationship is. She comes home without any of her memories, to a dad who can barely offer her any answers on things any normal parent should know. And she may not have her memories, but when she leaves feeling confused and hurt, she knows it isn’t the first time.

Thinking about a concept where Juno swaps Annabeth and Reyna instead.

Annabeth and Reyna are fine, because they’ve always been able to handle just about anything the gods threw at them. Piper accidentally has her gay awakening via fake memories of a relationship with Reyna and is really confused why her girlfriend is acting so weird. Reyna and Leo bicker non-stop because even without her memories Reyna knows what she’s doing and she’s very used to getting people to listen to her but Leo will not be serious for even one second.

Percy would start fist fighting the gods in the first week. Jason has never been more stressed in his life because he never even wanted to be praetor but it was manageable while he was doing it with Reyna and now he’s alone. What the hell is he supposed to do.

By the time Annabeth shows up at Camp Jupiter, Jason is so relieved someone knows what they’re doing that he immediately asks her to be praetor, now if she’ll excuse him he needs to go have an anxiety meltdown in a corner somewhere

[psychdiarys]

thinking about how wildly different the vibes between destroy love (bison’s song) and hurt me please (fadel’s song) are, even though both are about the same experience—being betrayed by the person they loved.

in the destroy love music video, bison is literally chasing kant with a gun, ready to “destroy” him. the song is fueled by anger because bison trusted kant completely, only to feel humiliated when he realized kant’s love was a lie. his lyrics are a challenge, daring kant to keep up the act while bison plays along, determined to get his revenge.

meanwhile, hurt me please takes a completely different tone. fadel is being beaten up by style and almost masochistically reveling in the pain. unlike bison, fadel never fully trusted style; deep down, he always knew style was deceiving him. but he let it happen, allowing himself to be hurt because he loved the illusion of being loved—even if it was fake. even after discovering the truth in ep 6, he confesses his love to style and lets him embrace him, clinging to the pretense just a little longer.

i feel like these songs seem to hint at how the brothers will approach their revenge on kant and style. bison will be terrifyingly ruthless, while fadel, like in the music video, won’t be able to bring himself to hurt style back, even when he gets the chance.

also, it’s interesting how fast love (style’s song) stands out. it’s a bright, carefree love song, completely free of angst. i think that’s because style is the most emotionally honest character in this show. he doesn't hesitate to admit that he likes fadel, despite knowing the truth about him. the lyrics are quite literally about his fearless attitude toward love, showing how he doesn’t care that fadel is a hitman.

kant is the opposite of style in that aspect. he's so hard to read. as the character who ties the entire show together, he’s still the hardest to understand. we know the least about his true feelings, which is why i'm super curious about his song! i feel like it's gonna be about regret? asking for forgiveness? we'll see.

[unacknowledgeable]

your Serial killer readeris giving me vibes of...

in my view, they are very similar. Does reader have a thirst for blood like toga? or cannibalistic halibes?

Interesting question, I'll try to answer the best I can lol.

 One thing I like to do in order to establish a character, is to take a character from pre-existing media, decide on where the two characters are similar, and then show how they are different. where those parallel lines meet and where they diverge from each other.

For instance, the bird incident in readers childhood is a pretty direct parallel to Togas (actually a complete accident on my part, but one I'm happy with) and they both hurt the bird as a form of fascination or “love” of the creature.

 But one of the major differences between Himiko and Reader is that while Himiko found the bird in the garden, already injured and likely beyond saving, and drank its blood as a final act of love towards it, the reader caught their bird, perfectly healthy, and caused its pain themselves. Himiko's parents put Toga in the hands of professionals in order to curb these violent tendencies, to no avail and to her detriment, while the reader was just told “no, bad” then tossed back into the deep end, having experienced no real consequences for what they did. 

The other difference is that Toga (from my understanding) never grew out of her confusion as to why her way of showing love wasn't okay. The reader, initially, is confused, yes. But as they get older they do realize why it discomforts people, that it is asserting your will over others and that it is fundamentally wrong. This knowledge, however, does not stop them from doing it.

Similar incidents, but different actions, upbringings and outside influences lead to different circumstances.

Now, personality wise, I'm not sure, I never actually finished mha lol, i didn't see all of togas screentime first hand, nor the best grasp on her personality besides ‘hyperactive bubbly maniac with a dash of cannibalism’. Where Himiko’s love is outright and sporadic, I’d say readers' love is more akin to a quiet awe, a silent devotion, easily overlooked if you dont know it's there. 

If you do want a personality to branch off of, Jinx from Arcane would be the closest match as of right now, as I was watching the show during my early concepts for this story lol.

 Otherwise, right now, I don't have any specific character that I take a large amount of inspiration from, just a few that I pick and choose character traits from that I like. SK!Readers personality is based around my general knowledge of serial killers, and media tropes I enjoyed so much they ended up stuffed into my own lil guys 

Now, does the reader have cannibalistic tendencies? I don't know.  It wasn't really something I gave much thought to, despite my fascination with “Consumption as an act of love”. If I were to add it, I’d have to find a reason for it besides shock value. So if anyone has any ideas for it, feel free to send it my way.

Masterlist

[doumadono]

Doumadono's 6k followers event

How more than 6,000 of you wonderful people enjoy this odd little corner of the internet is beyond me, but I’m so incredibly grateful! I’m absolutely floored by how my quirky little blog has grown over the past two years. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for following, liking, reblogging, and just being here! 🥺💖

To make this celebration extra special and funny, I need your help! I’ve come up with several ideas for the event, and I’ve decided to let you vote for your favorite. Based on the most votes, one or max two options (if I manage to find enough spare time) will be selected. You can find all the details about each option below the cut - read the descriptions and vote for your favorite! Don’t forget to reblog to help spread the word!

Feel free to send your prompts and ideas for the event through my inbox, DMs, or by commenting on this post. Please note that only prompts from the top two winning celebration ideas will be filled. However, I reserve the right to write additional pieces if a particular prompt inspires me!

The event will run from 13th January to 19th January, during which I’ll post works created specifically for this celebration. If needed, the event will have a separate masterlist, and all works will be tagged with #doumadono’s 6k celebration ♡

NOTE: this time, the event will be exclusively dedicated to My Hero Academia

Hero vs. Villain Alphabet Explore the fascinating contrasts between heroes and villains with this thematic alphabet series. Each letter represents a unique trait or scenario (e.g., A for Affection, B for Bravery), showcasing how heroes and villains approach the same concept in wildly different ways

NSFW Alphabet Ready for something sultry? Each letter of the alphabet will explore a smutty theme, tailored to the characters you love

Mission Gone Wrong What happens when things don’t go as planned? Whether it’s heroes on a botched rescue mission or villains navigating a difficult heist, this fics/drabbles will dive into thrilling, emotional, or even humorous scenarios

Villains’ Secret Files Ever wondered what your favorite villains are hiding? This event will uncover their secrets — fascinations, hidden fears, guilty pleasures, or even their most embarrassing moments. A mix of serious and lighthearted insights into the League of Villains and beyond ♡

Heroes’ Secret Files Heroes have secrets too! From their personal struggles to surprising traits they’d rather keep hidden, these scenarios offers a behind-the-scenes look at the pro heroes and students we all adore. Expect heartfelt, humorous, and inspiring revelations ♡

What If? Dive into little drabbles with scenarios where roles are reversed, quirks are swapped, or the world is entirely different. What if Dabi became a hero? What if Deku joined the League?

Blindfolded Requests (NSFW) You can submit completely blind prompts — just a single word or phrase. I'll choose the character and write a surprise drabble based on their vibe. Example requests could include words like tension, obsession, submission, etc.

Fairy Tales Reimagine classic fairy tales featuring My Hero Academia characters in exciting and heartwarming ways, f.e. Beauty and the Beast (with Shigaraki): a tale of finding humanity and vulnerability within someone feared.

[multi-fandomdisaster]

Happy new year, everyone! As a gift to start up 2025, I give you all something I promised you all a good while ago!!!

✨BEHOLD✨, my favorite (alive) Ted details from TGWDLM (acquired during a soundless/no-audio rewatch I did of the musical to study his body language) (except as I go on, it gets more and more uncoordinated and chaotic):

(Heads up: this is gonna be really long, and as such, I'm gonna put the list under a cut as to not take up as much space. We're covering EVERY scene he's in [alive] within an ENTIRE musical. Buckle up, fellas!)

His shoulder shimmies during and after he says the "cute little barista" line

Honestly during that whole segment, the stark difference between Paul's near-complete lack of motion while Ted never STOPS moving

Actually, I don't think there's a moment in the whole musical where he's completely still and I love that

Also Ted seems so happy to be there talking to Paul lol

His little tippy taps on his mug while Bill speaks

He looks over to see the pot of coffee in Charlotte's hands when Bill makes the "coffee in the sugar joke"

His little lip twitch after the "I heard, I wasn't there" line

His facial expressions in the back while Charlotte's talking about Sam singing that morning

How fluffy his hair is during the alley scene in comparison to how it was slicked back the last time we saw him

"Paul," *tap tap* "get in a trash can!"

His apologetic grin to Emma after Paul says "Latte Hottay" and the way it IMMEDIATELY falls as soon as he looks back at Paul

BONUS: the way Paul flinches when Ted touches his shoulder

"My ID's in my back pocket-"

His incredibly confused expression when the cop grabs his arm and starts fake-driving with it

The "look at this guy" point at the dancing cop during the bridge of Show Me Your Hands

The way he starts vibing to the song during the bridge of Show Me Your Hands (this will return)

The way he plugs his ears as soon as the one cop starts imitating a siren (Bill and Emma also do this)

The double take he does when Sam pulls a gun on Charlotte

He uses the trash can lid as a shield

His visual "you're going great" as Emma's talking about Hidgens

The confidence and the smile as he says "A king"

He puts a hand through his hair as he looks down at Sam

He's very touchy with all of his friends. First the shoulder pats with Paul (which Paul seemed very uncomfortable with), and now the shoulder hold and back pats with Charlotte

He slightly extends his pinky when pointing

He often stands with his hands in his pockets and gently sways, shifting his weight thoughtlessly back and forth from one foot to the other. Bro literally CANNOT stand still

Okay, scratch the slightly extending his pinky. Bro just full-on points like this ->🤘sometimes (except with his left hand. Is Joey Richter a lefty? I ask because Ted primarily gestures with his left hand)

The little flourish (and/or fumble) with the handcuff keys as he puts them in his pocket

He rubs his hands together and cracks his knuckles as Hidgens is talking about the blue shit

His crossed arms and general bored body language as Alexa dims the lights

As soon as everyone else leaves, his body language immediately opens a little bit as he (and this is truly the only way I can describe this) swaggers over to Charlotte and IMMEDIATELY touches her shoulders, rubbing them soothingly before full-on holding her to him. Touch is this man's love language, platonic or otherwise, and nobody can convince me otherwise

I love the way he looks at Charlotte. You can tell he genuinely cares about what she me saying, and he looks confused and maybe a little hurt when she pushes him away. You can also see the exact moment the confusion weans as he determines the next words he's going to say.

HE DOES STOP MOVING AT ONE POINT! TO LISTEN TO CHARLOTTE!!! HE STOPS ALL MOTION TO FOCUS ON WHAT SHE'S SAYING!

His smirk on "always will be"

Okay, but like- Charlotte moves so much in this scene in comparison to Ted. Her shoulders, her face, her head; my girl's practically squirming the whole time. And I know it's mostly to drive in the joke with dramatized...flirting? I think? General horniness? Is that what's happening here? (I'm aroace; I don't pick up on/understand this kind of stuff lmao), but it's still a bit jarring to see a character deliberately moving their body so much that it makes Ted look practically still in comparison lmao

He doesn't look genuinely mad during the "I'm not your therapist!" line. He looks mildly annoyed if anything. Maybe a bit frustrated?

I genuinely feel like Ted doesn't like Sam. The two have technically never been seen interacting before, and yet the way Ted points at and states his opinions of Sam is done with so much...idk, "rigid matter-of-fact"-ness. He just...flat out does not like the guy

I have SO MANY EMOTIONS about the "This guy is a scumbag. You could upgrade to a sleazeball" line-

There's a lot of emotion in his arm gestures when he says that Sam's a scumbag. To me, it again looks like he genuinely doesn't like Sam, and he's trying to convince Charlotte that he's bad.

Then he calls himself a sleazeball, and he states it like it's a fact. It hurts even more to me how there's a slight smirk on his face when he says "you could upgrade" and then his face goes completely serious when he finishes the sentence with "to a sleazeball" and points to himself.

He doesn't look proud. He looks resigned to the title

And then he HOLDS THAT POSE, his hands/arms bouncing a little to drive in the point

I feel from that through the "but you refuse to be happy" line, we see a little bit of the caring inner side of Ted before he re-defaults back to his usual more asshole persona

UGHHH I LOVE THIS SCENE SO MUCH-

"I'm gonna go hit on that crabby barista" ✌️

Off topic, but we need a left hand emoji equivalent for every hand gesture emoji in my opinion lol

Ted is MANSPLITTING in that chair. His posture is so bad (and looks so comfy lol)

And also he's fidgeting with the bottle, looking relatively spaced out until he looks at Bill speak

Ted is 100% at his most asshole when he's drunk

Why does bro look like he has a headache at the beginning of this scene?

This goes for the whole show, but my man SERIOUSLY talks with his hands

Is that a bottle of Jack Daniel's? I feel like I should have noticed this earlier, but I never bothered to look lmao

He taps on the bottle every once in a while

"Oh" *nods with unimpressed frown* "My head" *nods with unimpressed frown*

He also stops moving between reactions. Like he's processing the stupidity of the threat in real time lmao

And then he stands up and sets the bottle down so he can go right back to his usual dramatic full-body movements as he makes fun of Bill

Okay, but it looks like he's genuinely having a lot of fun as he's making fun of Bill, and then gets pissed off again once he remembers he's supposed to be pissed off lol

I feel like there's not many details I can go into with this scene that people haven't already picked up on just by watching because Ted's a focal point in the scene

"That's what sense Bill taught me" *bows with the bottle of Jack Daniel's in his hands*

Wait, when did he pick the bottle back up? Is this a case of the "they put multiple shows together for the YouTube video?" Probably. Alternatively, Ted can canonically summon bottles of booze whenever he wants /silly

Bro is SO ANIMATED. He will NOT let this joke die on his watch lmao

I'm sorry, but his reaction to the light smack on the back of his hand gets me every time. Why don't we talk about this more often???

He looks SO OFFENDED (and a bit confused) when Paul takes the bottle away from him

The force in that "WHATEVER!" I stg I could feel that through the screen lol

Apparently he could feel the force of that "WHATEVER!" too because it lowkey looks like he's catching his breath after he says it

Man, I wish we could see Ted during the whole conversation between Paul and Emma. I wanna know what he's doing. I wanna know if he's listening along, or if he's spaced out and doesn't give a shit

UGHHHH I WISH THIS WAS AN AUDIO WATCH BC THE WAY TED SAYS CHARLOTTE'S NAME WHEN HE SEES HER BEFORE JOIN US (AND DIE) HURTS ME IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLEEEEE

*sigh* I'm gonna need to do another watch through at some point that's just me listening for his dialogue during songs, aren't I?

Also I wanna listen to Jamie sing because GIRL CAN SINGGGG

Bro's just standing there watching Charlotte and Sam approach like🧍‍♂️, except slightly crouched, like he's ready to run, but he has no idea what the hell is going on

From a different angle, it looks like he moves to the dino pose™️

HE RUNS A HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR AGAIN!!! I am FULLY convinced he does that when he's nervous now lol

He readjusts his shirt and fidgets with his hands as he tries to think of what to do, and then he goes to approach Charlotte. Then they hit the chorus and he stops. Or rather, it looks like Bill held him back

He does a double take of Charlotte at the chorus

WHEN DID HE PICK UP THE BOTTLE AGAIN??? (Ted's booze summoning powers strike AGAIN!)

Bro is so frazzled by Charlotte walking toward him with her arms extended that he does ANOTHER double take

TED STOP PICKING UP THE BOTTLE OF ALCOHOL, IT'S NOT GOING TO HELP YOU-

HIM SETTING THE BOTTLE DOWN AGAIN AND PICKING UP THE CHAIR-

Did...did Ted try to use Bill as a human shield? You had a chair! Why did you put the chair down???

Legit though, he is cowering behind Bill lol

Sam and Charlotte are NOT letting Ted have a good day lmao

The way he looks around confusedly during "ride it" like "what the hell are these guys doing to me???"

DID HE CRAWL TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STAGE AFTER HIDGENS SHOT SAM???

At this point in the show, Ted's the only one in the main group who isn't wearing primarily white. I just thought that was interesting

Ted is STILL on his hands and knees with his jaw hanging open right up until the "musical doppelgänger" line

I love how he looks at Paul for help when Hidgens makes them sing Moana, like Paul of all people would know the words. I love even more that Paul is the ONLY ONE who knows the words

Ted's just trying to follow Paul's lead lol

Also BONUS: Paul tells TED that he didn't like that movie lol

The look of pure annoyance he gives to Bill as he sings a completely different song

The way he meanders around the back of the stage, looking down at (presumably) Charlotte

THIS IS THE FOURTH TIME HE'S GRABBED THAT BOTTLE OF JACK DANIEL'S (including him starting the scene with it)

He looks so done with everything when he's talking to Bill about him getting his daughter. He looks so exhausted. So...emotionally drained and angry and, dare I say, grieving

I think the bottle switches hands between shots

YES! WE FINALLY SEE HIM DRINKING FROM IT! I don't know why I'm excited about that lol

He momentarily stops moving to process before "Oh, I'm a fucking creep?"

The way his eyes widen during "...people who are FUCKING DEAD!"

He also stops moving while waiting for & listening to Paul's response

There's so much emotion from him during this scene, but I can't think of the words to describe it

He's just so...frustrated and sad :(

He keeps sitting back down in the same chair whenever nobody's speaking to him

AND HE TAKES ANOTHER DRINK!

YES!!! SHOW STOPPIN' NUMBER!!! I LOVE HIS VIBES IN THIS SCENE!!!

I love how he's effectively asleep on top of Emma

HIS DOUBLE-CHIN I CAN'T-

"What? Wha...? What...? The fuck...?"

The way he's facing the complete opposite direction from Hidgens and has no idea what's going on lmao

His slow tired processing about how the heck he can turn/lean around to see

He like- looks around, then tries to look over his right shoulder, then looks around again, rinse and repeat

'What's going on over there?' *scoot scoot*

His expressions range from "what tf is this guy on about?" to "this guys a fucking dumbass"

He's taking in everything occasionally nodding along

Man, I wish I had the dialogue in this scene memorized like to do for basically the rest of the show. It would make analysis of the scene a bit easier lol

The way it looks like it takes Hidgens chucking his Alexa across the room for Ted to realize he's in danger

*GASP* The first time we see Ted visibly uncomfortable with someone touching him!!! Like- a full on flinch and cringe reaction! Now, the real question is if it's because he didn't know Hidgens was gonna put his hand on his shoulder, because Hidgens is actively insane, or because he doesn't overall know Hidgens? Maybe a mixture?

He's breathing SO HEAVILY after Hidgens lets go and walks away. He was NOT okay with that touch

His slack-jawed expression when Hidgens reveals the keyboard. He's so shocked he stops moving again beyond blinking lol

"Don't you fucking do it!" *scoot scoot* "DON'T YOU FUCKING DO IT!"

He looks almost jittery at the beginning of Show Stoppin' Number. He's full-on looking around for an exit

He also leans away when Hidgens walks toward them

HOLD ON, DOES HE LOOK HIDGENS UP AND DOWN WHEN HE TAKES OFF THE JACKET??? I THINK HE DOES A DOUBLE TAKE, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE HE ALSO QUICKLY DOES A FULL-BODY SCAN OF HIDGENS AND THAT'S SO FUNNY TO ME-

He's OFFICIALLY VIBING TO THE SONG!!! And all Hidgens had to do was take off his jacket lmao

*scoot scoot* "Fuckin' go for it!" *bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce*

He is FULLY invested

AND NOW HE'S COMFORTABLE WITH HIDGENS TOUCHING HIS SHOULDER!

He is SO EXCITED about Workin' Boys! The Ted vibes are unmatched in this scene

And his investment during the phone call??? Hello???

"...and Chad..."

And then he's RIGHT back to the vibes lmao

As soon as the Workin' Boys come in, the vibes cease IMMEDIATELY and he's back to being terrified for his life

His very fast head shake

The gag where he starts praying to be saved and then Paul shows up will never not be funny to me

"I'LL GET THE PIANO!"

And mark another one down for him touching Paul's shoulder

And now he's also grabbing Emma's shoulder. And Paul's again.

Both of them are SO uncomfortable with him holding their hands. Emma gets OUT of that SO FAST when he lets go and both her and Paul's body languages are so tense. He notably DOESN'T try to slip out of his grip like Emma does though. He's just so used to it at this point lol

Another Paul shoulder touch. I should have made a counter for this.

I NEVER NOTICED TED FLAT OUT SNATCHES THE GUN FROM PAUL WHEN JEFF'S WORKIN BOY APPEARS THAT IS SO FUNNY-

AND THEN HE JUST DIPS

I LOVE TED

And another nervous hand through the hair!

Teddy...no...those soldiers aren't gonna help you...

Ted please stop waving that firearm around so recklessly, you're gonna hurt someone

He's so excited to see the military that he literally jumps for joy

The way his motion stops so suddenly when he gets shot. And the confusion in his eyes

Orgh the way he tries to resist-

His little head shake no, the way he tries to hold MacNamara's hand back with his free hand, and then when that doesn't work, with the gun hand, the way his eyes are wide with fear...until they're not

The shift from regular Ted to infected Ted is so jarring, especially after hyper-analyzing his body language and all of his small little character motions for so long. He's so blank. His gaze is suddenly so serious and empty. He's dead. In a singular swift motion, they've taken this lively, constantly in motion, utter mess of a man and turned him into another mindless slave. You can pinpoint the exact moment Ted is gone and the Hive has replaced him. It's terrifying. It's heartbreaking. I love it.

And LUCKILY FOR ME THAT MEANS MY OBSERVATION LIST OF ALIVE TED IS OVER!!! FINALLY!!! I'M FREE!!! /silly

I hope you've all enjoyed my insane ramblings about one Theodore Spankoffski! If y'all would like me to turn this into an actually coherent rant (or perhaps would want me to do this with another character, although note that would likely take me a good while just like this one did lol), let me know! The time it took aside, this was actually SUPER fun to do, and it's given me a new perspective and appreciation for the character! Hope y'all have a wonderful day/night/year!!!

[fishuus]

i guess this is a rec list of stuff i liked in 2024?? no particular order, i just wanted to yak about some things i had a good time with.

bang brave bang bravern: maybe this isn't a legit comparison but i keep thinking of it as "what if samurai flamenco had a significantly tighter story (tomokazu sugita is also there)". if you like giant robots, you might like this. if you like a completely straight-faced commitment to the extremely funny bit of contrasting hard military scifi with the absurdity of classic giant robots, you might like this. if you're interested in sugita playing a robot who's a bottom, and also there's a lot of gay shit and the earnest power of true love, you might like this!

digimon story cyber sleuth & hacker's memory: a really fun set of turn-based jrpgs. cyber sleuth took me a while to warm up to (the localization could be better, to put it generously), but i came to enjoy its slightly offbeat sense of humor. hacker's memory, otoh, i loved from the start. it does a great job showing how cyber sleuth's story beats happened in parallel while still keeping the focus on a fantastic new cast and their own plotlines. the first game is a more standard digimon story about saving the world, while hacker's memory widens the perspective and shows a bit of the systems at play in the background. just a super satisfying game on every level for me.

shin godzilla: personally i love logging off work and my many meetings and watching a movie about a guy who has to go to even more meetings. i'm kidding, this was really fun (on account of all the meetings). i'll get to his kamen rider and ultraman movies too at some point.

gilgamesh (gardner & maier, also the david ferry version): paying my respects to the original yaoi 🫡

judgment: i wanted to try a rgg game without committing to playing 8 of them in order. turns out this is a perfect standalone game. it's such a tightly written story and character study, and it's really fun to play. kimutaku is so good at playing yagami so low-key, so tamped down, that when he explodes you really feel how angry he's been all along. the english cast is also great -- i enjoyed greg chun's take on yagami as well. (i played lost judgment too but wasn't quite so high on it. alas)

siren: watched sgf's excellent lp and loved this horror stealth game. the motion-capture work for the faces is a pretty cool workaround for the rendering limitations at the time while adding to the off-kilter vibe. i'm also a huge sucker for when studios lean into mixed media and use photos of real props (magazines, IDs in wallets, letters, etc) in their games. the story is kinda obtuse – and literally requires you to read extra official content to get some of the answers – but for something with such vague, stilted cutscenes with equally vague and stilted dialogue, especially with the added layer of a classic ps2-era english dub, i became attached to the entire cast stuck in this extremely bleak and scary scenario. i guess the best way i can sum it up is that it's a game that knows exactly how to play you.

digital devil saga 2: finished right before the world is actually set to end in 2025 in the game lol. it's so good!! i'm grateful that even after all this time, i managed to go into this mostly blind, because the way the plot reveal recontexualizes so much about the first game and the absolute rank relationship dynamics between some of the characters just blew me away. probably has some of my favorite character designs of all time, and i also think it's sooo fun to play thanks to my having turn-based long jrpg brain sickness. such an all-timer of a duology.

nine sols: i'm still not done with it on account of it being a parry-focused metroidvania and me sucking shit at both platforming and parrying, but it's great! it feels so confidently produced, kinda wild considering how different it is from their previous two games, devotion and detention (both of which i also highly recommend). the art and design work are beautiful, and i'm really enjoying how bleak the plot is. you can tell they made two horror games before this lol. i also love story mode. thank you, story mode.

風林火山韻雷 -bring it back-: lmao. anyway, it's a super fun song and mv that packs in everything i like about akyr (mixing traditional with modern both in the song and the imagery, high energy, everyone's great ofc but takayuki kondo especially killing it with that bridge, akyr making aggro songs about murdering their enemies).

[marshvlovestv]

For the record, I'm not even talking about people comparing it unfavorably to the UK version. I'm not talking about people who are just full-on haters of the show, external to the fandom. I'm talking about people who supposedly love the show, who watch it every week, who are so entrenched in it that they maybe even have a profile picture of one of the characters (this is not to call anyone specific out btw, just to indicate that I'm talking about people who are, in general, pro-Ghosts US). And yet, all I see from these people is negative: I hate this character, I hate this ship, these are all the things I'd change about the show, which character annoys you the most, which character do you want to leave the show permanently, which of my Salty Hot Takes is your favorite, not to mention the frustratingly Watsonian nitpicks that tell me some of these people have never watched a sitcom or perhaps even a TV show before (guys, if an actor is missing from an episode, it is 100% because they had a scheduling conflict, it's not that deep. Like, Carol, specifically, is currently starring in a production of Bye Bye Birdie, they would be using her otherwise). The vibe is completely different from any other fandom I've been in. People will always have criticisms of the things they like, there will always be nitpicks, but usually if you're in a fandom the main thing you see from people is joy! A celebration of the thing! I don't know what's caused this fandom to go so sour, but it really brings me down when all I want to see is that people are also enjoying the thing I enjoy.

(Btw I am really happy to see how many people feel the same way in the replies, even if there are some who mistakenly believed I was talking about the full-on haters.)

Are there any fans of Ghosts US that actually like the show? I seriously feel like I might be the only one.

I’ve blocked so many people and the tag is still nothing but discourse discourse discourse complain complain complain. Before I looked at any fandom stuff I wholeheartedly believed that it was a perfect show. And you know what? I still believe that, only now I feel like I’m either an idiot or a piece of shit for thinking it!

[toffeebrews]

Mspaint dream doodles (oh and killer is there 2 ig)

( forgot credits again eugh dream is owned by @/jokublog and killer is owned by @/rahafwabas)

[artilite]

some sopping wet napkins <333

[whoisspence]

pics of mgg that you probably never saw before or at least you don't see often <3

[oceanwithouthermoon]

yk when i think about it, especially when im watching the anime with people who havent read the manga, the reason a lot of people who only watch the anime and didnt read the manga misinterpreted saikis character so badly is definitely in part because of how damn fast paced the anime is 😭

like that little smile and eye shine frame is there for not even half a second in the anime, so its easier to miss it and assume that he really did only finish those workbooks to get coffee jelly ☠️ its much more clear if you get a good look at how he reacts here that hes just a silly little tsundere and a fucking liar

[skunkes]

i have GOT to learn how to draw like [80's animated movie]

[unholyxvoid]

sometimes i feel like old mask iv , new mask iv and antivist iv are three different entities . same vessel , very different vibe .

[batsplat]

wait, is there a dovi/jorge feud???? i didn't know this!! also thank you so much for all you do for this community ❤️

not the only ask I've gotten about this and... look, rather than doing a proper write up that would take forever, I'm just gonna give my top ten fun... facts? bits of trivia. tidbits related to the two of them. quite long tidbits, on second glance. the highlight reel, if you will

(1) that time andrea dovizioso made 14 year old jorge lorenzo cry

the two of them already raced each other before the start of their grand prix careers, competing for the first time in 2001 in the cev when dovi was around 15 and jorge around 14. in riveras tobia's biography, here's jorge talking about their first fight:

I led the way at the start and Dovizioso and I escaped. It was our first head-to-head encounter, the first time we raced each other. My dad had heard that Dovi was a really clever rider and he warned me before the race. But just like in 1998 at Jerez, with Olive, I acted like a dummy and pushed for the whole race. I kept looking behind me to see the bastard still there! It was impossible to shake him off, he was watching me the whole race until the last lap. Three comers from the end I could hear his engine getting closer and I saw his shadow to my left, but he didn't come past. I thought to myself "This guy is going to try something in a second!" I decided I had to on a tighter line and close the door. Sure enough, Dovi went wider through that comer and then dived up the inside. I didn't close the door in time and tried to get in his slipstream, desperately hoping I could get him the next corner, but I ran wide and he won. I came back in tears, I didn't even want to go to the podium, I felt so cheated. I'd been on the limit for the whole race and I felt like I deserved the win more than he did.

so that's a nice and positive start! there's something charming about how even fifteen year old dovi was an absolute menace on last laps

also about that race:

'Jorge beat Dovi in Braga but in the previous race at Most, what a tantrum!' recalls Juanito, laughing. 'He didn't even want to go to the podium, he was crying like a baby! I can still see Dani (Antatriain) talking to him, trying to convince him. In the end he went but he didn't want to look at anybody.'

(2) the photo finish

in 2004, they were rivals in 125cc - a year in which dovi claimed the title and jorge was p4 in the standings. in the very first grand prix ever at the lusail circuit (pretty eventful weekend, you have to say), jorge and dovi crossed the line at the exact same moment

(3) dovi's top three favourite career win

dovi and jorge progressed through the categories at the exact same rate, and after their 125cc rivalry they continued fighting in 250cc. they were title rivals in both 2006 and 2007, with jorge's aprilia winning out both times against dovi's underpowered honda. (the general pattern was that dovi clawed back a bunch of points from jorge in the wet - jorge, with perhaps the exception of a few years in the premier class until around 2013, has never been much of a wet weather racers, while it's always been one of dovi's strongest traits.) for dovi's 300th career start in 2019, he was asked what his top three wins were - and one of his picks was from way back when in 2007

I'd recommend the race! which... well, I did in the race rec post - and I can only reiterate that these two kids do not acknowledge each other, not good vibes at all

(4) jorge's thoughts on young dovi from 2008

Jorge has a lot of respect for Andrea Dovizioso and feels that his two 250cc world titles have even more prestige because he had to beat the Italian to win them. 'You wouldn't label Dovizioso as fast, particularly, but he's much faster than he looks. He doesn't set many pole positions but he is always up front in a race, fighting to win. He is very intelligent and you can't trust him an inch on the last lap. He has been faithful to Honda, he has great belief in them. His negative side is that he tends to play the victim too much. He'll say that if his bike had a better engine or if it was a bit faster he would win. He's even said that if he was on the same bike as me he'd give me a hiding. I think he looks for excuses too often sometimes, but as a rider and a person I don't have a bad word to say about him.'

some dovi traits read as very familiar, from how he's a better racer than qualifier to the intelligence to the last lap prowess. as for jorge saying dovi plays victim too much? well

also this:

ER: Don't you think that Dovizioso wanted to be World Champion too in 2006 and 2007? Don't you think he gave everything to achieve it? JL: He will think he gave his maximum but he will be lying to himself because nobody does that. Nobody gets close to their maximum, not even me. He will think that he didn't win because he was riding a Honda. There are very few sportsmen who will say, I deserve what happened to me and there are no excuses. I didn't know how to do any better and I've done things wrong.' That is the only way to be the best, the only way. People who make excuses don't get to the top. I know riders who haven't made it for just that reason.

plus ça change

(5) jorge's thoughts on young dovi from 2018

when they were doing their thing as ducati teammates (bickering), here is one of the things jorge said about dovi:

dovi's been trying to undermine jorge's morale his WHOLE career... even when they were but teenagers... love it when you can really tell someone's been sitting on something for over a decade

(6) "also lorenzo is not my friend"

both of them moved up to motogp in 2008, jorge with factory yamaha and dovi with satellite honda. dovi had a very strong rookie season and finished in p5, only sixteen points behind jorge in p4 (who after a promising first few races had spent a lot of time that season crashing). after that, their fortunes diverged. dovi did not have a particularly happy time in the factory honda team and needed to do some shrewd negotiating to be retained by them for 2011 in that three-man squad, while jorge of course won the championship in 2010

here's a deep cut from 2011, a season where much of the excitement and drama was caused by marco simoncelli alone. jorge had exchanged tense words with sic in estoril, one race before simoncelli was responsible for a crash where dani broke his collarbone. the crash and sic's subsequent penalty meant that the three-way fight between jorge, dovi and valentino became one for the podium, with dovi and valentino eventually grabbing the two remaining spots behind casey. but during the race, jorge had executed a... questionable manoeuvre on dovi, one that did have some similarities to the sic/dani incident. given jorge's strong previous comments on racing standards, unsurprisingly the journalists pounced on this incident in the post-race presser and ask the podium sitters about it. here is the clip:

in this clip, dovi essentially says it was a dangerous move from jorge, but he wasn't sure what jorge's intent had been and he needs to watch the footage again. valentino (who had been the most outspokenly critical of sic of the three of them earlier in the presser) takes the opportunity presented to him to have a bit of a potshot at jorge. he says that dovi doesn't have the best relationship with sic but jorge had done something pretty similar in the race... at which point dovi goes "also lorenzo is not my friend"

which, you know. not exactly a major incident, but I find it very charming dovi felt the need to clarify that, actually, he doesn't like either of them. valentino also adds that by jorge's own standards, surely he too should have gotten a penalty. not exactly a meeting of jorge's biggest fans hm

(7) mapping eight-gate

well I can't leave it out, can I

so in 2017 jorge switches from yamaha to ducati and does not have a great time of it. a lot of weekends, he's just too slow, other times he shoots to the front of a race at the start (typically not great news for the rest of the field in his yamaha days) and then chews up his tyres before gradually dropping like a stone back through the field. at some point that year it became a bit of a running gag - especially when you saw he was the only big name to be picking a soft tyre and just went... buddy we ALL know how this is gonna end....

while this was happening, his teammate dovi was for the first time in his premier class career in championship contention. an extremely close title fight throughout the year with five protagonists until pretty late in the season, it eventually went to a title decider in valencia between dovi and marc. you know, the kind of year where every point counts. the race where marc put a bit of daylight between himself and dovi was phillip island, with marc winning a great dogfight out front while dovi had a bit of a horror show of a weekend. this meant that a lot would have to go right for dovi to have a chance of still winning the title... and sepang was already a match point race for marc

ducati had not won a championship since their 2007 title, courtesy of one casey stoner. after that year, their bike became steadily less competitive every season, reaching a nadir around the 2011-13-ish period. so by the time 2017 rolled around, they wanted this so so badly - even if they wouldn't have expected dovi to lead the charge. dovi had only narrowly beaten out iannone in the 'who's going to be fired for our shiny new lorenzo hire' contest of 2016, and really it was supposed to be jorge who was carrying ducati's dreams on his shoulders. but, never mind, they were throwing everything behind dovi now... no stone left unturned

which brings us, of course, to the subject of team orders. this discourse really took off at the penultimate race of the season at sepang, but was already brewing before that - and in phillip island, satellite ducati rider redding had been told early in the race to let dovi past

here from marc at sepang:

dovi had been in great form all weekend at sepang - and with his wet weather prowess being what it was, really there shouldn't have been any need for team orders at all. but he got a sluggish start, and the race unfolded from there... until eventually jorge was in first, dovi was in second and marc in fourth. in those positions, marc would have clinched the title there

and then, jorge got a message on his dashboard. suggested mapping: mapping 8. pit boards and dashboards and all sorts of boards will feature various codes during races, most of them completely innocuous - but of course they are a healthy source of all sorts of conspiracies. the timing of this one was certainly... notable, and speculation immediately started about how it might be a way of telling jorge that he should swap positions with dovi

jorge didn't end up letting dovi pass - it is questionable whether he really would have done so with what would have been his first ducati win on the line. in the end, he made a mistake that let dovi through so that dovi claimed the win anyway, keeping himself in mathematical contention in valencia. and jorge did say afterwards he was keeping dovi's title hopes in mind, kind of

jorge also said he hadn't gotten any message indicating team orders, and of course nobody at ducati confirmed that mapping eight did have anything to do with team orders

for what it's worth, this is what dovi said about their relationship at this stage:

lovely! let's see what the vibes are like a few months later

anyway, onto valencia. this race was pretty boring despite being a title decider, but the jorge/dovi bits were just unequivocally the weekend's most enjoyable aspect and rather nicely spiced up the whole thing. dovi's chances were always slim going in, given he'd have to win the race and marc would have to barely get any points at all... but still, you never know, right? marc could always crash (narrator: he did almost crash). jorge plays coy early in the weekend about the whole 'helping dovi out thing', and basically just started putting in place...? ... very specific conditions...? under which he'd help:

so during the actual race, dovi got stuck behind jorge in p5, with marc ahead of both of them. valencia is traditionally not a fantastic track to overtake at... so even if dovi had been faster, it's not like he'd have an easy time clearing jorge and cracking on. but they were beginning to drift further away from dani in p3 as ducati watched on, increasingly unamused by what was happening - and the tv cameras were of course kind enough to repeatedly show the ducati box looking deeply unamused. again, they went for the good old mapping eight message, which, hey, that could mean anything! they sure did keep showing it to jorge though, almost like he wasn't paying attention to it

eventually, they abandon all subtlety and go for a pit board message that does just straight-up tell jorge to swap positions. jorge kept ignoring the messages, lap after lap, and he never ended up letting dovi past. eventually they both crashed and marc claimed the title with a p3 finish, so it wouldn't have mattered anyway, but... still. the feeling was that this might things rather awkward inside of ducati

publicly, ducati was extremely keen to smooth over the whole controversy, saying they totally weren't mad at jorge blatantly ignoring team orders. jorge had, after all, explained to them (and the media, repeatedly) that he had totally been intending to help dovi by dragging him closer to dani

Giving his take on events, Lorenzo acknowledged that he ignored Ducati’s instruction because he felt Dovizioso’s chances would be boosted by having him directly ahead. “Even looking at this [dashboard] suggestion, I keep pushing until the end, because I knew it was the best thing for me, for Ducati and for Dovi,” said Lorenzo. “I helped him to improve his pace by one or two tenths, to be as close as possible to the first group. My intention was, and it was the case, that we arrive at the first group. If he had the option to win, I would have gone wide and let him pass. But unfortunately it was not like that. Maybe in some corners Dovi was close and I slow down a little bit his pace, but in general terms, having my wheel in front of him made him improve slightly his pace. I helped him stayed closer to the front group. “I knew Dovi was struggling, I knew his pace during all the weekend, and I knew he was making the best pace of the weekend just in the race. It was [because of the] help from my wheel. I’m happy because I was not wrong. If I was wrong and slowing him, I would be very sorry. But it’s not like that, my feeling was true.”

which, you know. is it really that easy to tell how much faster you are than someone who's sitting on your rear tyre? who's to say. dovi did certainly seem rather keen to get past

anyhow, of course there were plenty of fun dramatics post-race:

'our rider ignored team suggestions not team orders' is a great line, fairs. there's plenty more of this from ducati, some excellent spin doctoring - and dovi was extremely magnanimous about what had happened:

the whole thing was pretty undignified from all non-dovi parties, but it was also very funny so who's to say if it was bad or not

(8) runner-up-gate

let's check in on them in 2018, the second and ultimately last year in which they were teammates. remember that 'undermining morale' quote from above? those are from early 2018, after dovi says he wouldn't be surprised to see jorge elsewhere the following season. so, once jorge has complained that dovi had been trying to put him down his entire career, comes this:

so that's something. jorge, dovi and dani have a three-in-one crash in jerez, after which some fingers are pointed but it all remains fairly civil, and a bit later dovi says that jorge's approach doesn't work at ducati:

by the summer break, jorge's results had gotten better, but it was already too late to save the relationship with ducati and they parted ways. anyway, here's dovi and jorge having another go at it:

And while a rough patch for Dovizioso coupled with breakthrough back-to-back wins for Lorenzo in Mugello and Barcelona have now left the pair just three points apart in the standings, Dovizioso refused to back down from his claim when speaking to Spanish sports daily Marca ahead of the upcoming Brno race. “He’s won two races,” Dovizioso said. “Winning two races does not solve the problem of a year and a half. Lorenzo was not signed to win two races. Therefore I do not change my mind.” When the comments were put to Lorenzo, the three-time champion offered an ardent retort, stating that Dovizioso's rhetoric was proof of the claim he'd made back in April. “I'm a bit fed up with this situation, mainly because when I had trouble and he was winning, I was down there applauding,” Lorenzo told Spanish broadcaster Movistar. “What I said in Argentina - and the comments caused a big surprise - you can see that I was right. “He tried to undermine me, or downplay what I achieve or just attack me. As you can see, I wasn't lying. He's still doing it and now he says my method is not good, according to him.” Lorenzo intimated that Dovizioso was in no position to criticise him, as the Italian could do no better than runner-up to Marc Marquez in a 'perfect' 2017 season. He said: “I think my method has not worked too bad in my career. I've won three MotoGP titles and have 46 wins.” “In my second year in Ducati I'm usually faster than him, but maybe I should look at his method closer if in his best season, with everything going perfectly, he was second. Otherwise he's fourth or seventh usually. I'd tell him to leave me to go my way and to focus on his own and everything will be better, because when you have an angry Lorenzo it's usually worse for you.” 

fair to say that by this point the pretence at civility has mostly been dropped. I'm rather fond of the "lorenzo was not signed to win two races" line, though "when you have an angry lorenzo it's usually worse for you" is also really strong stuff. dovi tries to restore a little bit of peace:

Responding in turn to Lorenzo's tirade, Dovizioso sought to play down the conflict. “Jorge has his ideas and I think they are based on particular things. I don't think like him, but it's not a problem,” he told Movistar. “Everybody creates their own ideas based on what they see and how they live. “I don't think he has everything clear in his head about what's happened, but we continue the relationship that we started last year with respect, there's no particular problem. If he thinks this way, that's his problem."

so basically the classic 'idk what he's on about but it's not my problem' approach to attempting to defuse feuds

(9) twitter-gate

there's a few more on-track battles where it's nicely obvious how badly they want to beat each other, with jorge beating marc just ahead of dovi in austria and then dovi beating jorge in brno. jorge's season is increasingly derailed by injuries, which sets the stage for their next big spat:

The row was sparked by Dovizioso's comments to Sky Italia after qualifying at Sepang on Saturday, as he was asked what he thought of Lorenzo having to pull out of the Malaysian GP weekend with injury. "I don't know the details, I don't want to get into this, it's a bit of a strange situation," said Dovizioso."It happens often in Ducati or to certain riders, but I don't understand the details and I don't want to get into it and give my opinion." When it was put to him he was offering 'cryptic words', he added: "I leave things there, it's not my problem."

pretty vague, yeah. but anyway, I'm sure jorge had a proportionate response to this

Dovizioso's comments prompted a series of irate posts from Lorenzo on Twitter, with his first reaction being "Thank you very much @AndreaDovizioso! You are a real gentleman!". In his next post, he went on to call Dovizioso "an exemplary teammate", adding: "You applaud him under the podium when he wins and then... (That's right, he does not give his opinion, it's not his problem)." After that, Lorenzo labelled Dovizioso "envious" and described him as "a world champion... in 125cc."

the podium thing really bothered him, don't you think. their ducati in-fighting follows that general pattern where dovi says something... a little shady, a little ambiguous, where his intentions aren't entirely obvious... at which point jorge goes all in at fighting back and has a go at dovi - often not as much for what dovi is actually saying, but what jorge thinks dovi is implying. which is based on his understanding of dovi, the image of dovi he's built up in his head over the years, so that he is... predisposed to think ill of the intentions of the 'intelligent' dovi who always knows exactly what he's saying

again, dovi tried to downplay the argument, while simultaneously not exhibiting much patience for jorge's stance:

After the Malaysian GP, Dovizioso was asked about Lorenzo's responses to his comments, and the Italian accused his teammate of reading too much into headlines. He said: “Why should I talk to Lorenzo? I do not waste time on these things. He makes the usual mistake of giving too much importance to what is written, even without the context. "I have not pointed my finger at anyone and I have no problem with Jorge."

if I were ducati, I probably would've let the whole thing blow over given jorge was off soon anyway. but they decided the whole thing was so bad they had to organise a peace summit

Asked about the situation, Ducati sporting director Paolo Ciabatti admitted to Motorsport.com that the Bologna marque has already planned to sit its two riders on Tuesday in Milan to make it clear what its priorities are. Ciabatti said: “It is clear that the interests of Ducati come before personal problems between riders. On Tuesday we will be together in Milan, for the EICMA [motorcycle show] and we have in mind to spend half an hour to sit and talk to Jorge and Andrea. "We want to avoid similar things to what happened last weekend. "I understand that these kinds of situations can happen. Sometimes riders get nervous during a Grand Prix weekend and on a rainy day, with tricky conditions, sometimes they say things they shouldn’t have said."

god knows how that turned out

(10) wow, you guys aren't gonna let this go, huh

late 2020 and jorge's career is already over, while dovi's looks like it will be... paused, at the very least. which is always a good time to check in with riders on how they feel about their rivals - if they're still being nasty you know that shit was personal. from december:

some quality petty material here. "I can't understand his somewhat peculiar mind" vs "he was envious of me since 250cc, but I wanted to give our relationship a chance". note too jorge talking again about how generous he had been in the face of dovi's 2017 successes, and how he feels like this was not reciprocated at all. jorge's complaints don't stop there:

merry christmas!

not the only rider jorge has beefed with post-retirement, but compare and contrast with how he really hasn't been doing any of that with some of his biggest career rivals. valentino, marc, dani - sure, he still talks about the controversies he's had with them pretty regularly (to put it lightly), and he's hardly free of complaints... but mostly it's a distinctly nostalgic tone he's adopting with these guys. admittedly, it helps that none of those three have gone out of their way to say anything particularly inflammatory about jorge. still, the absolute lack of any sort of rapprochement with dovi of all people is pretty funny

bonus: that time when jorge skittled all of marc's rivals

you know how in catalunya 2019, jorge took out like? all of marc's major rivals in that era including himself in one go? with half a decade of hindsight, this was kind of hilarious, and it did also feature jorge having to eat a hell of a lot of humble pie and go to the three other blokes to apologise. anyway I have a lovingly assembled set of screenshots of all three of them emoting in their boxes after the incident, all suffering some form of an existential crisis. here is dovi contemplating the bleak realities of our brief lives on this planet:

truly one of the world's least enthusiastic waves

bonus 2: another one for old time's sake

already posted this elsewhere, but this from late 2023 made me laugh

"jorge came to ducati and thought he was going to beat everything, but in the end he didn't" uh huh

[imthursdaysyme]

Stobin and their fall haircuts