#i think i was having a bad day at the time but drawing them is nice
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moonstruckme · 13 hours ago
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Hi Mae!
I love your writing so much and think about it maybe too often haha. Today I fell and sliced the back of my hand open so I had to go wait 4 hours at the ER to get it sutured back together and I thought it might be a sort of funny scenario to write about with the marauders where R just walks up to them covered in blood like “heyy who wants to drive me to the ER” and is pretty chill in demeanour until the reality of having a hole in her hand sets in once they clean her up. I went into shock then, lost my hearing for a few minutes which was scary, but luckily I had a someone nearby who could help. Of course no worries if you don’t feel like it, I appreciate you and I hope you have a lovely day!♡
Thanks for requesting! I hope your hand is feeling better lovely <3
cw: blood, mention of razors (unrelated to blood)
poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 788 words
“Hey, Sirius?” 
Sirius screws the brush of his nail polish back into the bottle. “Yeah?” 
“Are you busy?” 
“Not anymore.” He gets up from the bed, wandering towards your voice in the bathroom. “What’s up, gorgeous? You need something?” 
Sirius stalls when he finds you. You’re standing there with a dissatisfied frown on your face, your hand a basin of blood held in front of you that’s overflowing into the sink. 
“Maybe a ride to A&E?” you ask. “If you’re free.” 
“What the hell happened?” Sirius goes to you. He tries to take your hand, but you move it away. 
“Wait, your nails—” 
“I’m not really worried about my nails right now, babe.” He holds you by the wrist, turning the faucet on to a gentle flow before bringing your hand underneath it. The blood washes away quickly, and Sirius blocks your view of the cut, leaning down to see it. “How’d you manage this?” 
“I was just opening my new razors—” 
“Razors?” 
“It wasn’t even the razors that did it,” you say, a laugh somewhere in your voice. Your raised voices have drawn attention from the rest of the house. Remus and then James appear in the doorway. “It was the plastic it comes in. Surprisingly sharp.” 
“What’s going on?” asks James. 
“She would like to know,” Sirius informs him, “if it’s convenient for any of us to drive her to A&E.” 
You roll your eyes. “Alright, you don’t have to say it like that. I just mean that it’s not so dire, I’m hardly bleeding out.” 
“You might be!” 
“What’d you do, love?” Remus moves forward to see, he and Sirius now clustered on either side of you, each closer to your own hand than you are. 
“She managed to injure herself with plastic packaging.”
“Okay. Again, the tone is a bit much,” you say. 
“Aw, sweetheart.” James’ arms wrap around your waist. He smudges a kiss onto your cheek. “Are you okay?” 
“Yeah,” you tell him, audibly softening at the affection, “it doesn’t even hurt that bad, it’s only stinging…” You go quiet. 
Sirius glances back at you, and you’re staring between him and Remus, your hand in your view for the first time. You look suddenly paler. 
“Hey, baby.” Sirius’ voice draws the attention of the other two to what’s happened. He steps in front of your hand again, squeezing up the length of your arm. “You’re okay.” 
“It’s…” You stare at where you had been for a moment longer, then snap your vision to the side. You’re breathing a tad faster. “God, sorry. I feel sort of sick.” 
“Take some breaths, dove, you’re alright.” Remus holds your hand close to his chest, shielding it from your view as he reaches into a nearby drawer for bandages. “We’re just going to stop the bleeding and then take you to A&E, you don’t have to do anything.” 
“All of you?” 
“Why?” James gives your middle a light squeeze. “Are there some of us you’d rather not have there?”
“I knew she had favorites.” Sirius grins. “Cruel. We’re only trying to be there for you, gorgeous.” 
You smile a little bit for their sake. You’re not sure either of them believe it, but James gives you a thankful kiss nonetheless. 
“Keep breathing,” he reminds you, big hand rubbing up and down your abdomen. “You’re really doing so well. I was surprised by how calm you seemed a minute ago.” 
“You should have heard her before you got here.” Sirius squints his eyes at you playfully. “She wouldn’t let me touch her hand because she was worried it’d mess up my nail polish.” 
“Sweetheart,” James laughs, giving you another fond squeeze. “Really?” 
“Priorities, babe,” Sirius chides you. 
“Alright,” says Remus. You feel a kiss on your knuckles, and then he’s turning around, your bandaged hand still held protectively between both of his. “Is anyone going to warm the car, or do I have to do everything?” 
You nod, chastened, and start towards the door, but you’re dragged back by three pairs of hands. 
“I mean anyone not injured, dove.” Remus’ voice is heavy with loving exasperation. 
“See what we’ve been dealing with? It’s a two man job.” Sirius squeezes your shoulder on his way past, presumably going to warm the car. James says something about getting your shoes and follows behind.
You give Remus a woeful look. He tsks, folding you into a hug. “Did you really prioritize Sirius’ nail polish over your bleeding hand?” he asks in a murmur. 
You mush your cheek to his chest. “Only for a minute.” 
Remus is quiet, but his amused breath fans over the top of your head as he brings his lips down for a kiss.
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tlbodine · 14 hours ago
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So, Things Are Terrible and You Want to DO SOMETHING
The election is over and, ah...did not go well. While a lot of folks are doing a post mortem of the campaigns and trying to understand what happened with the vote and fighting over who shoulders the blame, we've gotta turn an eye toward the future and figure out, okay fam, where the fuck do we go from here.
I don't have all the answers on this, and I'm not an authority by any means, I'm just a horror author with a blog. But I've been thinking a lot about it and I wanted to share my thought process with others who might want to DO SOMETHING but feel they're spinning their wheels.
Buckle in. This will be a long one.
Step One: Understand the actual risks and stakes.
I think it is very easy to start panicking now about the worst possible case scenario -- jackbooted military busting into the door to disappear everyone who ever said something mean about Trump or bought a banned book or something -- and let fear turn into inaction.
I'm not saying things can't get that bad, and I'm not saying that it won't be absolutely terrifying right out the gate for some particularly at-risk groups -- but the distance between "now" and "V for Vendetta" is long and filled with a lot of intermediary steps. There will be so many opportunities to prevent the worst case scenario.
I say this because, if your mental image of "Bad Things Happening" is The Purge, it will be easy to wake up on inauguration day, look outside to see that the world is not on fire, think, hey, maybe things will be okay after all, and then completely disengage. Alternatively, you might feel so frozen with terror at the possibility of persecution that you do nothing. This is why people are saying: don't obey in advance.
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It is essential for those of us with more privilege to use it to take care of those who are more vulnerable.
So. Who is most vulnerable? What does that vulnerability actually mean? What are the most likely risks of Trump's presidency? Here's a Guardian article that I think does a good job of summarizing some of the main issues. Go read that, then come back here.
Step Two: Take steps to protect yourself
You've gotta put your oxygen mask on first, right? So before you start getting involved in other causes, figure out what risks YOU are at, immediately, and do as much as you can to secure yourself. Some potential action steps depending on your circumstance may include:
Renewing your passport (helpful for leaving the country, but also for gender/name change purposes)
Getting vaccines / boosters
Securing birth control
Ensuring your necessary papers (birth certificates etc.) are where you have access to them.
Drawing up legal paperwork for spouses/partners (always a good idea, a helpful safety measure in case you lose marriage rights)
Bolstering your data privacy and online security. Here's a step-by-step guide I found that could help with that.
The specific steps you need to take here depend on what risks you, personally, face. You'll want to do some more research into this for your particular scenario.
No matter who you are, though, it's probably a good idea to start saving money and being a little more conservative with your spending and/or pay down debts to free up some cash. You don't know what kind of emergency may befall you, and having spare money for an emergency is never a bad idea.
There is a possibility that the cost of many things you rely on might go up, if Trump goes through with his tariffs plan. You will want to plan for that.
Food costs may also rise due to tariffs (we import a lot of food from Mexico and Latin America for example) as well as a loss of immigrant labor. There is also a possibility that food safety standards could fall due to overturning regulations. Now would be a good time to look into local food resources like farm share/CSA, community farms, etc., and to stock up on a few key staples like rice and beans.
Okay. Now that YOU are reasonably safe...what can you do to protect your community?
Step Three: Get Involved
Here is your mission: You need to stay engaged enough to know what's going on, without burning yourself out or exhausting yourself, and to take actual decisive actions instead of wasting your energy arguing on the internet.
Got that? Okay. Good. Here are some action steps:
Support independent journalism. Subscribe to local papers, donate to and watch public broadcast programming. I signed up for news from ProPublica, for example, as well as the news-roundup service What The Fuck Just Happened Today. The goal is to stay informed without falling down an endless rabbit hole of upsetting information.
Share news and resources with others in your circle. This can be a good use of social media. It's what I am doing right now!
If it is safe for you to do so, challenge and educate your friends/family members/neighbors/coworkers. Only if it is safe for you to do so. Do not put yourself at risk doing this. And do not waste your time arguing with people who are unlikely to change. But if you have well-meaning people in your life who you think could be won over, look for opportunities to do this - the right way. I've had some success with this, I will probably write a guide about it in the future. In the meantime, here's a good article that can help.
Join local grassroots activism groups. You'll have to do some work to decide what groups to join and which causes you want to support, because you cannot do everything. But there are tons of organizations taking direct action in all kinds of causes. Search "grassroots [cause] activists in [where you live]" to start finding things. Once you get involved in one group, you might meet people who can introduce you to other groups and causes. Yes, this means you will have to go outside and meet people. I'm sorry.
Join direct action groups. Same concept as above. You'll have to search in your area but once you know people it'll be easier to find more opportunities. Some of these groups may overlap. You might find direct action opportunities by engaging politically and vice versa. GO OUTSIDE AND TALK TO PEOPLE WHO ARE DOING THINGS TO HELP.
Get involved in local politics. Here are some quick tips. A lot of things are affected at the city level - stuff like book bans and bathroom bills are often battled first at local libraries and schools, and you can be part of those conversations! Sheriffs are elected and can have a big influence on local policing. Local elections affect how tax dollars are spent, how homeless populations are treated, and lots more. Don't snooze on local elections. Get involved and stay involved.
Look up your representatives. Get in the habit of calling, emailing, and writing letters. Figure out what legislature is being passed and then call your reps and harangue them about it - both to support bills you approve of and shoot down ones you don't. Sign petitions. Join email campaigns. Here's one you can go sign right now from the ACLU. See? Not that scary.
I think a lot of people figure that getting involved in politics doesn't matter or that it's all small potatoes but...man. The president is not god, no matter what he thinks. The sitting administration is not the sole power in the universe. There is an entire machine of government we can lean upon and act upon.
Finally, some general safety notes:
Some forms of direct action are not legal. Take steps to be safe if you choose to partake. Follow the lead of more seasoned activists for what forms of communication to use and so forth.
If you're not willing or able to put yourself at legal risk to act, you can help others by donating to bail funds and legal defense funds.
We've already seen this in some areas, and it will only get uglier - some bad actors are feeling emboldened by the change in regime and will misbehave. It's a good idea to learn some self-defense skills, in whatever way is comfortable to you, and brush up on some tenets of victimology that can help you stay safe. I'll write more about that in the future.
All right. That's all for now. It's by no means comprehensive...but should hopefully help you get started taking the next step. Stay safe out there.
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nanamiscocksleeve · 1 day ago
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The Office Pet Part 4
warnings: MDNI, pet play, name-calling, exhibitionism, oral (fem receiving), women on women This fic does not mean I think Kusakabe would be bad in bed, but there aren't many other men left. NOT PROOFREAD. I may have stolen some concepts from @anonimusunnoaniswriting
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Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4
“Kusakabe, why are you taking so long?” Kento gives the brunette man a withering look as he sees your unsatisfied state.
“He’s eating me wrong!” You complain, and Gojo snickers. You had been happy and warm, snuggled with Gojo and Higuruma’s pets when a sudden phone call had all the men gathering in the same room. 
“Were you aware he was coming today?”
“No, it was a completely unprompted visit. He said something about a welfare check.”
“On the pets?”
“Yes. I mean it’s a relatively new allowance. Makes sense that he’d want to see if it’s being implemented well.”
Amidst all the chatter, Kento had gently patted your head, trying to rouse you. “My sweet little pet. Can I ask you for a favor?” He pushes back locks of your pretty hair, his heart melting as your eyes turn from the fuzzy haze of sleep into alertness. “I’m sorry to wake you, but our CEO is arriving shortly. He’s bringing his pet as well. We’re worried about Kusakabe. He hasn’t eaten pussy in a long time and if he fails to satisfy the CEO’s pet they might take away the office pet allowance altogether.”
He scoops you up, the flimsy miniskirt of the lingerie you’re wearing draping over Kento’s forearm. “Do you mind letting him practice on you? You smell so delightful little pet.” Kento pressed a kiss to your forehead and you glowed at his affection. Kento had placed you gently on Gojo’s cleared desk and slipped off the lacy panties, exposing your pussy to Kusakabe, who stood looking nervous. 
“Geez Atsuya, it doesn’t have teeth,” Higuruma goaded him, and the room erupted into laughter, both men and pets. “Seriously he keeps looking at it like it’s going to bite him. It’s soft, squishy. Now stop acting like we’re throwing you to the wolves. It’s a harmless little pussy, and if you fail in this, the CEO is going to come down hard on you. His pet isn’t something you can leave unfinished. 
Atsuya had shakily approached you, and you glance up at Kento who’s hovering by your head, gently massaging your breasts to get your blood humming. Atsuya’s fingers are clumsy as he parts your folds. His warm tongue darts out, but it didn't take long for you to realize he had no idea what he was doing. He kept missing your clit, even though it was right there, peeking out from between your folds, and he failed to listen to your cues, the little happy chirps falling deaf on his ears as he tongue swirled haphazardly over random areas of your core. 
Kento picks up on your discomfort immediately. “Atsuya I swear to God if you ruin this for all of us just because you don’t know how to eat pussy-”
“Show me how!” Kusakabe blurts in panic. Gojo and Higuruma sigh and approach the table. Kento spreads your folds and points to the swollen tissue at the top of your mound. “See that? That’s her clit. Maybe try licking that instead of shoving your tongue everywhere else.”
Kento spits on his fingers and brings them to your clit, massaging the nub, drawing an immediate mewl of happiness from you. “See? Her face makes it obvious. You have about 5 minutes to prove you can eat her out correctly or else you’ll have to go home for the day. We’ll make up an excuse to tell the CEO.”
“I don’t know how he missed that,” Gojo says, peeking at your folds. “Her clit is right there.”
“And this is her pussy.” Hiromi gently prods your hole and Kusakabe’s face blushes red. 
“I know!”
“Do you?”
“Ok enough! Let him try. We have a very short window to decide if Kusakabe is here or goes home for the day.”
“A little too late for that I’d say.”
Startled, all 4 men look at the door and see their CEO smiling smugly at them, his pet obediently next to him on the floor, wearing a long overcoat to hide the fact that she was only wearing lingerie underneath it. She had wide eyes and her hair was tied back into a ponytail. She was watching the scene with a keen observance, her smirk mirroring her master’s as she looked at Kusakabe. 
Suguru removes the leash from her collar and gives her ass a friendly pat. “Go play sweetheart.” She immediately moves forward to the cuddle pile where Gojo and Higuruma’s pets are seated. They waste no time in welcoming her, removing the trenchcoat and revealing lingerie that looked like shibari ropes, with barely any fabric covering her crotch or nipples. She playfully wriggles her ass and the two other pets take the cue, one of them gently spanking her while the other starts to touch her clit. Her noises of pleasure were punctuated with little yelps as she was spanked.
Suguru rolls up the leash and puts it in his coat pocket before entering the office. He appraises you, laid on your back looking flushed and irritable, your pussy on display to the whole room. Kusakabe immediately steps away so that he can get a better look. Suguru’s long hair tickles your abdomen as he leans over to check the little badge on your collar. He hmms as he reads the name and his eyes fixate on Nanami. 
“May I?” he asks, but it’s not really a request for permission. Nanami nods.
Suguru’s hot breath ghosts your thighs and you go perfectly still as his thumbs part your folds. Kusakabe’s spit still lingered and the raven-haired man tsks at the sight. “Most of the wetness here isn’t yours, is it pet?” He looks at you, and you hesitate. He cups your face. “I assure you no one will get in trouble.” You shake your head no. 
Suguru puts his nose between your folds and inhales deeply. “So sweet. I’d heard rumors about one of the pets smelling like candy down there. I didn’t think it was so accurate.” His tongue swirls around your clit and you let out a moan. He knew exactly what he was doing. Your eyes look up to glance at Kento’s face and he nods encouragingly, stroking your hair. The tip of his tongue gently nudges the little nub, going at it in patient circles, until you feel your core starting to drip again. 
Your hand involuntarily tangles into his beautiful hair and he chuckles, the noise muffled against your puffy sex. It might have been out of line, a pet reaching for a master’s hair without permission but Suguru was in a good mood today, so he allowed it. Your reaction to his mouth was all he needed to allow you that indulgence. You whimper, hips arching as his lips seal around your clit and suck, the pressure pushing you to the edge. You cum with a cry, your clit pulsing hotly inside his mouth while your core spasms in tandem. 
Suguru pulls away and wipes his mouth. “I hope that suffices as a decent demonstration.” His purple eyes fix on Kusakabe who shrinks. You lie on the table panting and Kento picks you up and places you with your playmates. Suguru’s pet lazily opens her eyes to glance at you, her pussy being serviced attentively by Higuruma’s pet. You’re entranced by the dreamy quality in her gaze and go over for a kiss, which she accepts with a delighted purr. 
“Are the pets serving their purpose?” Suguru occupies Gojo’s chair and looks at the men expectantly. 
“Indeed sir. They’re the joy of the office.” Satoru is the first to speak. 
“I see that their conditions in your office are a little…lackluster though.” Suguru’s eyes take in the plushy futons that have been laid out, not uncomfortable by any means but lacking the finesse he’d been expecting. “Perhaps I can fix that. I’ll give each of you a pet expenditure card for their needs. Start by upgrading their office quarters, but you can also use it for other things; hair, nails, makeup, lingerie, toys. I didn’t push so hard for office pets to have them living in basic conditions.”
The statement was rather mindboggling considering the futons were covered in sheets that had an impossible threadcount, and all the pets wore collars made from either gold or platinum, and had at least one jewel embedded in it that exceeded 10 carats. How much luxury was Suguru’s pet living in that he considered their lives to be basic?
“That’s so kind of you Geto-sama.” Nanami bows. “Truly unexpected.”
Suguru’s eyes fall on his pet who was close to a soft orgasm, her moans muffled by your mouth on hers. She cums with a mewl, her back arching as the pleasure exploded in her, then opens her eyes. Suguru pats his lap and she eagerly crawls over to him, snuggling and allowing him to securely hold on to her using the shibari style lingerie wrapping around her. 
“Did you enjoy that?” Suguru pets the woman affectionately under the chin and she melts into his touch. “Do you want something else?” She nods as though she already knew what he had in store for her. “Take it then.”
Suguru continues talk to the men as his pet starts to undo his zipper, pulling out his long cock and turning on her kness so that she’s facing the crowd while he talks. “Office pets are our best resource to prevent burnout and stress.” His voice hitches for a brief second as his pet slowly sinks onto him, then starts to ride him, her tits bouncing.
Kusakabe lets out a muffled cough, trying not to ogle the sight. The 3 other men look unruffled and continue to listen. Suguru’s large hand grabs onto a bunch of the ropes at the back of the woman’s lingerie, allowing her to move at angles that weren’t possible when seated on another’s lap on your knees.
“They provide us with companionship and endless joy and pleasure. Don’t think I haven’t noticed the improvement in the numbers since the office pet allowance was enabled. That speaks volumes.” He glances at his pet who flushed and clearly enjoying herself as she fucks him. “Slow down.” He grips the ropes tighter, controlling how fast she was moving. “You don’t want to overstimulate yourself.”
“But I think they deserve the best of everything. Their devotion is endless after all.” He squeezes one of his pet’s nipples causing her rhythm to falter. Geto lifts her off his cock slightly by the fabric ropes, steadying her, then loosens his hold so that she can push back down. 
“I’m also concerned that our newest hire seems to lack the knowledge needed to keep a pet satisfied.” His eyes rove over Kusakabe and the other men turn to glare at him. “Has he really never eaten pussy before?”
“Of course I have!” Kusakabe splutters suddenly. “Sir.” He adds hastily. 
“Clearly not with any skill. Nanami’s pet was half dry by the time I got to her.” Silence fills the room, except for the sound of Geto’s pet moaning, her round ass slapping against his thighs each time she moved. “My advice to you Atsuya, is to take your time and learn the material. Do you have a girlfriend?”
He shakes his head no. “No wonder. But I suppose that means we won’t have to worry about the office pet allowance being applicable to you yet.” Geto grunts as his pet slams down on him, and before he could get in another word, she lowers herself completely, eyes closed in ecstasy as she takes Suguru’s load into her.
“Well done sweetheart.”Geto pants and strokes her back. He helps her off his lap and sets her down on the floor and she wanders off to rejoin the other women. He quickly produces a handkerchief and wipes himself clean before continuing.
“The rest of you though, I assume you’re keeping your pets satisfied? Giving them high quality meals? Ensuring they get enough water? Regular massages? They use their bodies to please us so the least you can do is make sure they don’t have any aches and pain.”
“Of course Geto-sama,” Higuruma reassures him. “All this is being done.”
“Excellent.” He looks at the pets. His was being cleaned by Gojo’s pet while you had her head in your lap, leisurely stroking her cheeks and pressing kisses to her forehead. Geto observes the smitten way his pet looks at you. 
“Come gentlemen. Let’s have lunch.” He tucks his spent cock back into his pants. “I’ll make sure something is sent up for the pets to eat.”
As they walk, Geto lingers behind and catches hold of Nanami. “How do you feel about setting up a private playdate? My pet and yours?”
Kento’s hazel eyes look intrigued. “I would have to ask her, but sure. Any reason, Geto-sama?”
“My pet seems to have taken a liking to her. And whatever my pet wants, she gets.”
@aether-seawolf @makingtimemine @snwvie @facelessfionna @sweetskozume @theimmortalbuns @supernaturalbaesduh @marusatonanhin @pwd54gr54 @brekkersgf
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cherryheairt · 2 days ago
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Dragon Dreamer pt. XV
previous chapter- fourteen
masterlist
tags: @beebeechaos @r-3dlips @emery-aka-emmy @watermel0nsugarhigh @delaynew @moonymoo1 @purple-1995 @littleblackcatinwonderland @fall-winter-heart97 @mandeepandee1997 @pedro-pascal-love @thelastemzy @reyndaisy @saintkittykat @theadharablack @thatkindofgurl @alexandra-001 @itsaslaminak @iv7867
gosh this one took forever. I was scared I got into a rut for inspiration but I think I'm just burnt out from life, not from writing. On a positive note, since this took so long and I had so much time to think about the story, I have gained A LOT of ideas for future chaps.
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In the early hours of the morning, while Franny dressed Daenys in her protective riding gear, the Princess was given time to think over the choice at hand. Bring Cregan along to Rook's Rest for him to lead the royal siblings through the keep as protection, or leave him here to sit and await her return.
They had decided to delay the flight to Duskendale and Rook's rest another day due to Morningstar sleeping heavily in her nest. Rhaenyra had allowed it, secretly relieved to have her children safe within the castle walls another night. Daenys slept a few hours in a dreamless sleep, discomforted by the thought of Cregan being in his guest chambers halls away.
Part of her was rational, weighing pros and cons of the situations.
Another part of her, nagging at the back of her mind, thought herself to be swayed by her wants. Had she grown too dependent on the Northern Lord over the past weeks? Perhaps she was. Whether it was a good or a bad thing was still to be decided.
Daenys glanced longingly at the notebooks left neatly on her desk. She had not used them since before she departed for Winterfell. Perhaps the need to write and draw out every dream she had dwindled down like a neglected hearth. Or, perhaps it was the positive outside influence that kept her from such maddening behaviors. Those notebooks consumed her day and night. There hadn't been a day where she missed an entry, whether it lasted one word or one thousand. Black tendrils of flame or a simple budding rose.
She felt an almost urging call to continue them, to build off from where she had left. It might be good for her to document such things, like the accuracies of Lucerys' and Jaehaerys' deaths.
There was no time now, anyway.
Daenys thanked Franny as the young girl left the chambers, allowing Cregan to enter now that she was decent.
At her belt, which had been black steel molded into two intertwining dragons, Daenys fiddled with the gifted knife fretfully. Cregan's entrance had not shifted her thoughts away from the dilemma at hand, though his warmth filled the room like a breath of dragonflame. He curiously scanned the room, taking in all the personality it had collected through the years. His eyes caught the brown pelts lying on her bed, turning a curious and playful look to the Princess.
Blushing, Daenys didn't meet his eye, still turning the dagger in her nimble hands. "It got cold."
He huffed a laugh, "I'm sure it did. Weeks spent in tents in the snow, and you are felled by your own familar quarters."
She quickly changed topics, feeling embarrassed, though Cregan was more prideful than judging. "This is for you." She shealthed her own dagger again, admiring the cold black handle against the white of her armor. Shuffling through a drawer, Daenys found exactly what she was searching for. Revealing her grand find like a dragon showing off its glinting hoard of treasure, she presented a dragonglass dagger to Cregan. "To replace the one you gave away." The dragonglass had originally been a nameday present from Daemon years ago, something that she appreciated greatly but never found a use for in her peaceful days on dragonstone. It would carry a greater purpose in Cregan's hands, anyway. The tip of the handle was formed like a dragon's head, as was Daenys' dagger, a silver direwolf. Switching sigils, the two were marked by each other in all ways but physical.
Cregan took it from her hands tentatively, turning and admiring it in his hold. With the faintest prick to his fingertip, an angry red dot shot up. "Damn," he whispered, unexpecting the precise sharpness of the blade. Daenys stifled a giggle, turning to grab a cloth to clot up the small wound.
"Silly Stark." She murmured between them, smiling when he lifted his other hand to tilt her chin up.
"I suppose I need my smart Velayron to make sure I don't do silly things like that, hm?" He pondered, looking between her light eyes in wonder.
She met his grey eyes with a similarly affectionate gaze. Lifting the cloth from his finger, she placed a lingering kiss on where the wound was now no more than a darkened prick. "I should be inclined to agree. I have no clue how you have lived so long without my wise council." She said seriously, then broke into laughter as he took her by the waist and slightly lifted her off the floor to move her in front of the vanity.
Thoughtlessly, Cregan began to tie her hair up into tight braids that would stay out of her face for the duration of the flight and fight that would be expected at Rook's Rest. "I can not say, either, Princess." He said lightly, a small smile brightening his stern features.
Daenys took a moment to clear her mind, a few deep breaths while she was able to sit idly in her cushioned seat. "I want you to come with me." She spoke.
Cregan met her eyes through the reflection. "You're sure?" He asked hopefully.
Daenys nodded firmly, confirming her final decision. Glancing at her own reflection a final time, she felt tension stiffen her body. Her armor was a pristine white, not yet touched by blood or scratched by weapons. Fire would not burn her armor, for it was made from Morningstar's own shedded dragonscales. She would not burn, either, though the thought of keeping her clothes untouched if she did encounter flames was comforting. Sword wouldn't easily breach the scales, nor would arrows, though she still had to be careful to protect her face and hands.
Daenys began fitting the white gloves on to her hands, grimacing at the reminder of Lucerys. Though the gloves were a quality white leather, the backs of them were protected by small groups of more dragonscales. Though, these ones belonged to Arrax. His first big shed had come when the boy and dragon were both nine namedays of age, and Luke's first thought had been to create fine gifts for his family.
Jacaerys received a white leather dagger sheathe with scales lining it. The same sheathe he always keeps at his belt opposite of his sword.
Rhaenyra received a charming satin choker with scales studding along it, though she only wears it on Luke's nameday celebrations in fear of ruining it.
Daenys received the gloves, which she wears mostly when out riding with her family. The palms were well-worn but still upkept regularly by her. Luke always seemed to gleam with pride whenever she dorned her hands with them, so she made a point to do that often even though she hated to see the gift get so worn. She supposed that was the price of love. It wouldn't be fair to not use them out of fear.
Cregan took her hand to guide her out of the chair and to her feet, which were covered by firm and quite uncomfortable boots.
"This suits you well, Princess." He murmured softly, admiring his bethrothed in the warm light shining through her windows. "Like Queen Visenya reborn."
"Visenya was a battle-worn diplomat, I'm afraid there's a lot to live up to in terms of my ancestors." She sighed, though not ill-naturedly. She saw more of herself in Queen Rhaenys, the gentle ruler who was seen as generous and kind by the people and had a love for the arts and spent more time with her dragon than even her siblings did.
He smiled knowingly, eyes slightly crinkling at the sides. "I haven't seen these before, either." He mentioned, running a finger over the protruding scales of her gloves.
"A gift, from Lucerys, a long time ago." She told him, squeezing her hand and hearing that satisfying 'crrk' of leather crushing together. A habit she often did to stimulate her mind and keep it on the texture and sound of the gloves rather than her quickly-moving thoughts.
"A fine gift."
They exited the room once deeming themselves ready, both armed and prepared to leave the castle though their stay had been so short.
She sighed, looking to the doors that now covered only empty rooms. Four, in a perfect line with plentiful space between. It was not long ago that all six children's rooms had been lived in and filled with ruckus. Daenys held her chamber rooms at the end, enjoying her space as the eldest who got to choose the rooms first. Luke had opted to stay in the chambers right next to hers, with Jace conceding to his brother's whims and taking the next in line. Little Joff, Viserys, and Aegon were now gone, leaving even more silence and stillness in the castle. She could hardly bear to look at the rooms, for they reminded her so much of what had been lost.
"I wish you could have met my youngest brothers before their departure. You would like them." Daenys smiled sadly, thinking of how Joffrey would immediately ask to see Ice up close and how Aegon and Viserys would hide behind her skirts until Cregan knelt to their level, showing them he was a friend, not foe.
"They will return soon," he comforted, placing a heavy hand on her shoulder. "This is but a temporary change. I'll meet them after we reclaim the Iron Throne for your mother." He promised.
Stiffly, she nodded. It was hard to believe that it was only herself and Jacaerys left. Even if it was only temporary, who knows how long this war would last? In the history books, some wars went years without any signs of peace. Would her brothers be grown before they came back? Would they even remember her? Remember Luke?
Turning away from the scene, Daenys and Cregan made their way to the dragonpit. There, Jacaerys and Baela were whispering together in hushed voices. They both donned similar armor to Daenys', though in the colors of their dragons and Houses alike. They looked a fine pair, already matching as if they'd been wed for years. Upon spotting the Princess and Lord approaching, Baela cleared her throat.
"Lord Stark, it is a pleasure to formally meet you. I'm glad to hear of your bethrothal to my cousin. I'm sure a fruitful partnership will be upon us soon." She smiled diplomatically, as if she had practiced the words in her head before saying them. Daenys stifled a laugh as her eyes met Baela's warm, dark purple eyes, the knowing look shared between them always making her cave into girlish whims.
The Lady was a stark contrast to her own bethrothed beside her, who scowled and pouted like a boy left out of a game to attend his studies. "Lord Cregan." He stiffly bowed his head in greeted and said no more.
"Lady Baela, it pleases me to meet any kin of Princess Daenys. I wish you a safe journey to you and a swift victory at Duskendale." Cregan said smoothly, dipping his head in respect to the woman.
Daenys reached Baela, pulling her in for a hug and whispering, "see you soon, sister. We will both bring back good news." Baela nodded her confident agreement, saying her 'goodbyes' to Jace before mounting her striped dragon and beginning her short flight.
Jacaerys seemed to flounder in the absence of his bethrothed, now able to speak more freely without any scolding looks from Baela (she and Daemon shared a fierce stern face that always shut Jace up swiftly, much to Daenys' amusement). "I was not expecting him to come along." He said, looking directly at Cregan but speaking past him.
"Of course he's coming, brother. I need a skilled swordsman at my side." She said lightly, approaching the perch just past him to scritch at Vermax's chin, who had climbed slightly up to meet the one who had not visited for quite some time. The yellow eyes of the dragon seemed to follow Cregan closely, a dangerous mirror of his rider.
"Am I not a skilled swordsman?" He asked, turning to face her with a hand resting on his sword's pommel.
You're a swordsman.
She refrained herself from quipping so meanly in front of Cregan, knowing Jacaerys would be embarrassing and offended rather than play along with her teasings as he usually did. "Of course you are." She soothed. "But who knows how many men will be stationed in the keep? I want to ensure there are no slip-ups or chances for a sneak attack."
Reluctantly, he backed down. With a brief touch to her arm, Jacaerys bid Daenys a safe flight. "Do not land until it is clear." He advised, earning an annoyed glare from his sister.
"I fear that I am now the more experienced fighter here, Jace." She said, raising a light brow. He rolled his dark eyes, stepping off the platform and situating himself on Vermax's dark red saddle. With a shout, the green dragon was out of sight past the mouth of the cave.
Cregan took a gloved hand in his, squeezing twice in a supporting reminder. "Best we don't let him get too far ahead. Or else the whole keep might just be burned down."
"Vermax and Jace have quite the fiery temperments." Daenys stated. "Morningstar, are you awake?" She called into the darkness.
Hearing a clicking response from the dragoness, Daenys felt her shoulders relax from the tension they had carried all night. The white dragon appeared from the depths, showing her bright violet gaze set straight on the two as she swaggered towards them. Glancing to her shoulders, Daenys gingerly reached out to glide a hand near the wound. It looked significantly better now that a balm had been applied and the wound properly cleaned. Instead of the angry red that it had been, the claw marks were now a dark pink color that mostly showed irritation rather than blood. The wounds were not as deep as she originally feared. "My brave girl. Are you ready to fly again?"
Morningstar trilled as if to wholeheartedly agree. Her wings fluttered as she met Daenys' hand with her large muzzle, a purr escaping her throat. "Let us go, then." She told Cregan, whose storm-grey eyes had never quite left her.
Together, they mounted the dragoness and left the cave with a joyful roar from Morningstar.
It was not long before they caught up with Vermax, who trilled when he saw his kin flying next to him. It had been many weeks since their last joint flight. Jace smiled warmly at his older sister, and they both almost forgot that their destination was to fight a battle in the war for their family's throne.
They crossed the sea within minutes, Daenys forcing herself to have a clear mind as they approached the stone walls. The once-green fields were now brown and charred, still filled with the hundreds of dead men who lost their lives, either fighting or to Meleys' and Morningstar's dragonfire. It was all too easy to be in the air and kill men by the multitudes, too easy to take lives. It didn't even quite feel like murder due to the disconnection provided by the catalyst that Morningstar was. That didn't make the swelling guilt disappear, however.
Morningstar swopped down from the cloudline quickly, taking the command Daenys shouted to her and not allowing the men in the fields to escape indoors. Her grip on the saddle's handlebars was tight and blistering, but she could not waver now. The men who were dragging their dead fellow soldiers had now joined them, black and unrecognizable. The unmistakable smell of burning human flesh had filled her senses, making her dizzy and unfocused once again. Cregan's deep voice filled her ears, placing a hand over hers on the handle to gather her attention. "You must stay focused, Daenys." He said as gently as he could over the raging roars and flames of the two dragons. She nodded quickly, forcing the bile down her throat. There was no room for weakness now.
It was over as quickly as it started, with Vermax and Morningstar circling the keep before landing in front of it.
Directly under the shade of the keep's entrance was Sunfyre. Worn and tired, the dragon still managed a ferocious and warning roar to scare his kin away.
It was not effective, though Daenys felt a pang of sympathy for the abandoned dragon. He was left behind while Aegon and Aemond went back to King's Landing, as if he were a mere guard dog posted to a station. Daenys dismounted, earning a concerned shout from Jacaerys atop of Vermax.
She slowly approached The Golden, allowing her hands to rest low and away from her body, the white scales glimmering in the sunlight the same way his did. He rose his neck high, though his wings were lifting up and down from the floor as if it hurt to put too much weight on them. She grimaced, knowing that was her own fault. The dragons suffered, too, in the battles they had fought, and they didn't even know why. Dragons didn't care for a throne or crown, but solely for their riders and kin.
"Daenys!" Jace shouted again, jumping from Vermax's saddle and following Cregan who had immediately trailed after Daenys. Cregan had stopped yards away, standing tensely and with calculating eyes but not trying to stop her. He had seen what she had done previously, and trusted her judgement. She would not approach a hostile dragon mindlessly.
"My Prince," he stopped Jacaerys with a firm hand to his chest, earning a furious glare from the Velayron.
She took a few steps closer, holding a hand out for Sunfyre for sniff. If she lost it, so be it. If he tried to burn her, no harm would be done. Daenys held back a flinch as he did just what she hoped, pressed his sharp snout into her palm.
A sudden vision filled her mind, painful like a sharp and drilling migraine. Aegon, unburnt or harmed, dressed in his finest drapes and wearing Aegon the Conquerer's grey crown. He held a goblet high in the air, surrounded by many peasent and knighted men and servant girls. "To my brother, who has slain the whore of Dragonstone's bastard son!"
Cheers erupted from all corners of the large and echoing hall. Goblets raised and wine and ale alike spilled all over men and tables. Aegon chugged down his bittersweet wine, presenting an empty goblet for the hall to see and a young maid to refill. "To Aemond! The true Blood of the Dragon!"
Next to 'The King' sat the very brother in question. Aemond Targaryen did not hold any glasses of wine or even a grin atop his sharp features. He simply leaned back into his chair, stiff as a flagpole and face blank and unreadable.
Daenys was drawn out as quickly as she was drawn in. What was that? A vision in broad daylight had never happened before. Could she see the past as well as the future? She could not dwell on it now, but upon her return home, such matters could be explored in the privacy and safety of her room.
Glancing up briefly, Daenys' sharp gaze caught sight of a man ducking behind the castle's wall on the tower's roof. Though they had not made their entrance discreet, Daenys had still hoped to catch a few more by surprise than she did. There was no way of knowing just how many soldiers lay in the safety of the keep.
Sunfyre almost whined at the touch, yearning for attention in the past few days. Daenys knew that Aegon rarely visited the dragonpit even when Sunfyre was readily available, too deep in his whores and cups. The poor thing was so deeply loyal, but so lonely despite his devotion. "There's a good boy, Sunfyre." She spoke softly in the same voice she used for her youngest brothers. He hung his head, allowing his exhaustion to finally show in the face of trust. Glancing back at the two men behind her, she sucked in a harsh breath to prepare herself for what was inside. "Go along, to Morningstar." She whispered to the dragon, watching him painfully carry himself towards the others. He submissively lowered his neck to Morningstar as the larger dragon sniffed cautiously at him, and after some time of reunion she allowed Sunfyre to lie at her side, curling up and finally letting himself rest. He'd been guarding Rook's Rest for days. Daenys would not consider herself too far off in assuming that he'd been given no food or water. What fool would approach a fire-breathing dragon, anyway?
Cregan smiled proudly, nodding to Daenys and striding towards her to meet her while Jace gaped at the sight and glanced between the dragons and his sister. "You made Sunfyre listen to you?" He asked, approaching them too.
"He's not an enemy." She vaguely said. "But, we could use him."
"Use Sunfyre? He would take no other rider? And...I doubt he'd fly again." Cregan said awkwardly, gesturing towards the torn wings.
"If we keep him on Dragonstone, Aegon cannot say he has three grown dragons any longer." Daenys said, lifting her chin. "The realm would not know how incompacitated he is—but they will know that Sunfyre turned sides against his own bonded rider. If that's not a sign from the 'Gods', what is?"
Jacaerys hummed thoughtfully, though he seemed to agree. "And what of Tessarion, the Blue Queen? And Jaehaera and Jaehaerys must have dragons—had dragons." He whispered after.
"The children's dragons are no older than seven, brother." Daenys said. Though, she was unclear on where Jaehaerys' dragon would be now that the boy was dead. Perhaps in the dragonpits still, forced to wait for a new Targaryen to bond with. Morghul and Glaeson, two black dragons with strong Valyrion names.
"And as for Daeron—" Daenys started, rolling her eyes at Jacaerys' sour look. "The boy is only ten years of age. What does that say about the Greens if they force him to war? Though, I would not be surprised given their desperation for dragons. I do hope the young ones do not have to grow up living in a time of war." She sighed, thinking of her youngest brothers, Jaehaera, and even Daeron, whom she had only known as the smallest of babes before he left to ward in Old Town.
Jace was stunned to silence for a few moments before laughing brightly. "When did you get so cunning?" He asked, looking to Cregan as if the man could answer his rhetorical question for her.
"It is a good plan, Princess." Cregan nodded, ignoring Jacaerys' look. "How do you plan on getting him across the sea?"
"Boat." She shrugged, "I will arrange for one to be sent from Dragonstone as soon as we reclaim the castle."
The Stark nodded his agreement with her idea, unsheathing Ice from his shoulder as Jace followed his actions, wielding Sea Tamer in his hands. "At your command, Princess." Cregan said. Jacaerys opened his mouth to make a remark at his sister's previous words about her experience, but shut it as he decided against any smart words.
"Sister," he nodded.
Daenys, only wielding her direwolf dagger in hand, slowly crept open the massive wooden doors. No one had stayed to guard the very front of the halls, knowing that a dragon could still reach its ire in the shallow depths. Instead of creeping through the halls like invaders attempting their luck at a sneak attack, the trio of three barged into the castle, rearing to fight. This was their claim, and they would not let it go again.
Jacaerys and Cregan led the way in front of Daenys with their swords in front of them, brows set and eyes sharp. A split in the hall came quickly, to the annoyance of them all. "It will take forever to flush them all out." Jacaerys commented.
"I need to find Kalla and Kallus. They will be held at knifepoint first to make us surrender." Daenys said seriously, glancing down each hall and mapping doors in her mind. One must lead to the kitchens and dining hall, and the other must lead to important chamber rooms and studies. Which would the Green men hold their hostages in?
Cregan looked down at her, seeing the wheels turning in her mind. "Which hall, Daenys?"
She stilled her heart and breath, closing her eyes to focus. Even as she focused, she could not summon the same visions as before. Trying not to let frustration well up in her, Daenys instead chose the most instinctive choice. "I should think the dining hall. Hard to be cornered with so many exits."
They toed down the hallway towards the open archway to the dining hall. It was a spacious room, good for balls or feasts or celebrations of the Lord's choosing. Instead of a grand feast being presented to them, the Velayrons and Stark were instead faced with the young Lord and Lady Saunton held by the necks. Three Green soliders held them still, long swords awkwardly at their throats and ready to move.
The young Kalla was nothing like her Lord Father, who was executed the day Daenys fought over his castle. In her early 20's, with bright red hair and deep blue eyes, the Lady clearly trembled in the hold of the older soldier's arms but held a steely and defiant look in her eyes.
Her younger brother, no older than six or seven, could not hold back his whimpers of fear. With black hair like his father, Kallus was next in line to be Lord, though that would not happen for many years. Or, if he died today. The siblings looked scruffed up and dirtied by the events that held them trapped in their own home. Hair messy and face smeared with blood from the soldier's hands and dirt from the floor, eyes red and puffy from their loss, and worried lines of stress on their foreheads. Daenys did not know if they would recover emotionally from this—even after years of peace.
"Surrender now and put down your weapons!" A scrawny young soldier yelled at them. "Or we'll kill them."
"If a single hair on their heads is out of place, we have two dragons standing outside on the ready to sear you to ash." Jacaerys bit sharply, unyielding.
"Three." Daenys added, glancing around the room between Cregan and Jacaerys. There was a single door behind the soldiers, possibly leading to the kitchens. Another much larger door stood parallel to all of them, the barricaded exit to the courtyard of Rook's Rest's castle. The sunlight poured in warmly from the windows in the room, leaving the room in a golden glow. If she moved the wooden panels holding the door, perhaps Vermax could fit through the opening and finish the job for them. Though, it would put the bystanders at too much of a risk.
"Yes, I saw that." The older soldier who held Kalla sniffed harshly. "The Witch of Dragonstone has enchanted the King's own dragon. Dragons can't help you in here." He sneered.
"And what will you do when we are all surrendered?" Cregan spoke up. "Take us out of the castle to the capitol? The dragons can wait for years. This Keep's food supply can not."
The two soldiers shared knowing glances. They were not stupid. They knew they had little options in Rook's Rest now that they were surrounded by dragons indoors and outside.
The younger man shouted something that Daenys did not quite catch in her surprise. Following his command, a few more soldiers flooded into the room from the archway that they entered from. Daenys shared a glance with Cregan, cursing herself for not deciding to clear the halls before going for Kalla and Kallus. She had figured to grab the hostages and rush outside to draw them out with promise of mercy, but now that idea was drifting further from the forefront of her mind. She shuffled closer to her bethrothed, clutching the dagger tight by her side.
Four behind, two in front. The numbers were not too far against them, she supposed, considering Cregan and Jacaerys' experience and skill most likely outdid that of these greener hedge knights. Jace may not have real battle experience like Cregan did against wildlings, but he did gain his knowledge of fighting during his time as a squire for Ser Steffon Darklyn. Daenys was quite unsure of her own capabilities in a fight against swords, seeing as she had none of her own and never cared to learn the art.
This had to be all of them. Daenys hoped that thought ran through her companion's minds, too. The rest were dead and burned out in the black fields.
"Would the dragons be so willing to burn us if we had their riders in hand?" The elder scowled again. The younger straightened up, nodding proudly like he had won.
"Want to find out?" Daenys asked, looking him straight in the eye unflinching.
This seemed to give them pause, hesitant glances between the men. One spoke up from behind, clearly itching to fight. "Just kill the little bastards and get it over with. There's no use in keeping them alive, Oskar."
This seemed to have been a recurring argument amongst the stationed soldiers. "What did Cole say, remind me of it, Bennard?" The eldest asked, exasperated at the eager soldier's impaitience.
"What does it matter what that Dornishman said? The king is dead, and we have this castle all to ourselves!"
"The King is not dead, you treasonous fool!" The younger yelled back to him, shifting and loosening his hold on Kallus.
Noting the loose grip, Daenys glanced briefly towards the boy before taking a chance to look over her shoulder. None of the soldiers had prepared for this raid, apparently. All still in regular tunics and breeches, no armor was dorned at all.
"The Usurper is not dead." Daenys said, though she was still unsure of that herself. "But he did abandon your little troupe here, did he not? To gain no glory in battle or seize any land. Old and sick dogs protecting a worn and empty home." She shared an amused glance with Jacaerys for show.
"I'd imagine no one would bother to reclaim Rook's Rest a second time, given all the trouble it took to get it in the first place." Jace added. "Criston Cole wouldn't bother giving this place a second glance."
Oskar and the younger shared a look of grievance. They shared those thoughts before, too.
"They would not know if you died for this place or simply abandoned it." She concluded, gentler this time. "We will allow you to live the rest of your traitorous lives in peace, for the return of Lord Staunton's children. Or, you can share the fate of those men outside. I'm sure you heard what their end sounded like." A grim sentiment, but necessary.
Cregan eyed her from her side, though he did not speak. Wielding Ice at waist level, towering above all the men in the room, the Northerner almost made the Southern-blooded men seem dwarved. He was not here to negotiate, but carry out his Princess and Prince's command. Daenys proudly noted the glances they had all been warily giving Cregan since he walked into the hall.
Oskar, standing straight and boring dark eyes down at Daenys, spoke up first. "It would be treason." He said darkly.
"Treason to your pretender?" She snarked. "They are much too busy holing up in their Holdfast to chase after and execute every man who deserted their cause."
"I think we should take the chance while we've got it, Oskar." The younger whispered, not very quietly. His gaze grew worried as he shifted on his feet. "I want to go home. It's been moons. Me mum must be thinking I'm dead by now."
Daenys felt pity for the group. Especially the youngest, who had his whole life left to live. The elder, who might be around Daemon's age, must have a wife and children back at his home, wherever that might be.
With a sigh, Oskar nodded. Preparing to speak a truce, but was interrupted by a frustrated yell from behind. "I'm sick of this talk! The Witch will not cast any more spells on you soft lot!" A man from behind shouted, charging immediately for Daenys. She could only turn on her heel in time to catch his arm, bringing them both down to the floor in a tumble. Though she saw Cregan and Jace swiftly move to defend her, the other men that once flanked him moved in to attack them, too.
Wearing a distasteful yellow that could only be the house colors of the Baratheons, the older man grunted as he struggled to pin Daenys to the stone floor and grab the sword that fell from his grip at the same time. With her steel dagger in hand, she writhed to get the arm out from under his heavy form.
Gasping at the wind being taken from her chest at the sudden fall and weight, it was not an easy task. "Bastard witch..." he grunted out, finally grasping his sword by the sharp sides. Uncaring that it cut through the thin skin of his fingers, he pulled it closer and sat up, finally allowing her to breathe and clutch her dagger to her bossum. Both of them heaved with effort, but the wild look in his eyes frightened her to no end. The look reminded her of Seamus, who sought revenge through the wrong person. "You and your whore mother will never lead the realm, lest it be brought to ruin." He snarled out, spit wetting his thin lips. The sounds of steel clashing rung like bells around the room, impossible to keep track of as movement and shouts sounded from all sides.
As he raised the sword over his head, the yellow-dressed soldier was bumped to the ground, groaning at the impact. On his side, the companion soldier who brought him down in the first place lie died and unmoving, like he had been thrown. Daenys did not waste time to allow him to think, twisting to her front to sit on her knees as if in prayer. With a swift movement, Daenys jabbed the dagger downwards into the side of Bennard's neck. As she tore it out just as fast, hot blood shot out immediately in response to the wound, even while the man was gasping and grabbing at his neck, covering the empty slit. Blood pooled around him as he eventually gave in to the Stranger, life leaving his fury-filled eyes.
Daenys wildly sprung to her feet, taking ragged steps back from the two corpses. She tripped backward over a third, though was caught by the waist and forearm by Cregan. Panting, she clutched at his arms with bloody hands. "Cregan?" She asked, disbelieving the situation. Yes, she had entered Rook's Rest knowing she'd most likely have to kill a man, but physically doing it was a whole different feeling. Seamus burned on top of her for what felt like days, and hundreds were felled to her Dragon's blue fire weeks later. But she had never dug her steel into a breathing man's skin, never watched the light leave his eyes of the last breath leave his lungs.
"I'm here." He said steadily, showing no signs of panic or change like she did. Behind Cregan's broad shoulders, she could see Jacaerys push the final man from his sword's shaft by kicking him off of it. Turning to face the remaining two men, who had stayed with the fallen Lord's children, Daenys saw the hopelessness in both of their eyes. She righted herself quickly, nodding her thanks to Cregan before stepping over the other bodies. In front of the four remaining people, Daenys saw a comforted knowledge in both Kallus and Kalla, knowing that they were safe now as they were released from the holds.
Oskar and the younger held their hands up in surrender. "I did not wish for that to happen, Princess." He swore solemnly. "Please, spare us still. We swear to leave Rook's Rest and return home, we will never speak of this to anyone."
Daenys glanced at Jace, who had a hardened look in his eyes. He, too, had killed his first man by his own hands. Her younger brother, who she had wished to keep his innocence for as long as possible, was a boy no longer. She swallowed harshly. "Let this be a lesson of mercy from Queen Rhaenyra." Were her final words to the two, who gratefully bowed and scurried out from the room.
Free now, the two siblings released heavy sobs from deep in their chests and hugged each other tightly. Daenys smiled faintly at the sight, relieved to see both unharmed. Kalla looked up from her kneeling position, tearfully grinning. "Thank you, Princess." She said through her sobs. Kallus shook in her hold, the built-up tension from the past days finally showing itself. He could be a boy again, not a hostage doomed for death.
Daenys approached carefully, kneeling to each of their levels. "Are you two unharmed?" She asked, glancing over them.
Kalla took a moment to hold Kallus back at an arms' length while she inspected him. With a courageous sniffle, the boy nodded and mumbled something Daenys could not hear.
"We are fine." Kalla said, weakly smiling as she stood straight and brushed off her dirty skirts. "May we...freshen ourselves up? We have not been able to since our father was taken."
"Taken?" Daenys sniffed.
Kalla nodded discreetly towards Kallus, who busied himself in looking entranced by Daenys' dragonscale armor. Daenys made an 'o' shape with her mouth, forgetting the implication that the two had not personally seen the execution of their father. "Yes. Go on, we will wait for you." Daenys said. She was glad that at least they were not forced to witness the murder, but instead, Cole allowed the young boy to keep his innocence and believe his father was simply taken away.
Perhaps the one favor he did the realm.
Turning to Jace and Cregan, after the brother and sister left to their chamber rooms, she sighed. "Are you two okay?" She asked, quieter now. The room was filled with empty silence now that everyone else had either died or left. The bodies at their feet were still and growing cold, though would soon start to stink if they did not get removed. Daenys wanted no part in that process.
"Are you?" Cregan asked instead, stepping forward to hold her hand in his. His grey eyes held a slight apprehension from the way he had been unable to fully protect her—again. Daenys could not and would not fault him, for two men had attacked him. Behind, Jace shuffled uncomfortably. He had been deathly still, too, a pale look on his face.
"I'm fine, just got winded." She said shortly, nodding affirmingly. Looking to Jace, she asked again. "Do you want to step out?"
Nodding quickly and covering his mouth, Jacaerys quietly excused himself from the room to rush out the way that they had come. Daenys knew the feeling. Even now, it was hard not to spill her guts after the heavy guilt pressed on her conscience.
"I should go check on him." She offered, looking up through her lashes to Cregan, who had been staring at her the entire time. "If you can—"
"I will take care of them." He hummed, gesturing towards the door. "Go see if your brother is well."
"Thank you." She said gratefully, squeezing his hand before making her way after her brother.
Outside, barely having made it to the grass instead of the cobble, Jacaerys was hunched over and heaving. Daenys sympathized greatly, slowly rubbing her hand up and down his back in the same way their mother had often done for them. "Let it all out, Jace." She said.
"I'm not a child." He said, defensively as he stood to full height.
"I know that." She whispered, squinting against the sunlight. "But you just killed a man—no one is prepared for that."
"Lord Stark was." He scoffed, wiping at his mouth and groaning in disgust but not shoving away her comforting hand.
"Cregan has experienced battle more than we have. He fights against the Wildlings in the North—he's no stranger to death."
He groaned again, this time not so much in disgust as it was simply petulance. Daenys bit her cheek, keeping herself from smiling at the childish behavior. "He's just perfect at everything, isn't he?"
"He's three years your elder, Jace." She reminded him. "And had to be Warden of the entire North at only eight and ten. Of course he's more experienced."
"I am a Prince." Jacaerys said, defeated.
"You are." She responded, questioning his sudden statement.
"I should be like that—not throwing up my breakfast at the first sight of blood. What kind of Prince can't defend his people?" He asked, slumping down against the wall.
She sat with him. "You are young, Jace. No one expects you to be perfect right away. We've only just now been thrust into a war when there's been none since before our grandsire's time."
"They do expect it." He mumbled, looking to the three dragons in the field. "Mother has set our expectations quite high."
"She's not so perfect." Daenys said. Once, only a few weeks ago, she would have agreed. That Rhaenyra was a being of perfect grace and poise, not to be touched by the bad of the world. Now, she wasn't so inclined. Rhaenyra was her mother, and she loved her dearly, but she was still a liar. Daenys had once dreaded to leave Dragonstone, but these days, she felt more eager to move on to her martial home with Cregan and be free of the people who allowed her to feel insane. Being able to come and go as she pleased to visit seemed like a distant dream.
🗡
Jacaerys whipped his head to her, dark brows knitted together as he huffed a short laugh. "You always say that, Dae. That mother is near perfect." His words were confused, almost disbelieving.
Daenys pursed her lips, nodding. Should she tell him the truth? If she allowed him to believe Laenor was still dead, she was no better than the three of them. But the cluelessness brought him peace. He was able to mourn their father in a healthy way over time, in every way she could not. He did not blame himself like she did. "I don't think anyone is." She said finally. Now was not the correct time, anyway, when he was so lost in his conflicted mind too.
Laenor, Rhaenyra, Ser Harwin. Those who she idolized for years. She felt a deep betrayal when the two men who raised her left—a hole not able to be filled. Rhaenyra was not perfect, though her children all thought her to be. Their eyes were bright and hoping, and of course, their mother was the guiding beacon that brought the light. Adults don't share the same sentiments as their child selves did. It was inevitable to change. Daenys was at least grateful to be able to trust her mind again. Though, she was unsure if it was due to her own independent growth in the North or because of her mother sharing the truth.
She hoped it was because of herself. Just one thing, attributed to her.
Jacaerys eyed her a moment longer before giving in and nodding. Clearly, he could tell there was more to it but would not pry. Perhaps he suspected Daenys was resentful for Rhaenyra discreetly suggesting to offer herself for the Northmen. "Well..." He started, standing and offering her a hand.
"Let's check on the children." Daenys finished, standing too with his aid.
He snorted, leading the way inside. "The girl is older than you."
She narrowed her eyes playfully, shaking her head. "I am taller."
"Does that make me your elder?"
"Never."
They shared a warm and amused smile.
In the dining hall, the bodies were gone. The board covering the courtyard exit was removed, too, and the doors were wide open. The fresh air was pleasant to feel in the stuffy room. At the table, Cregan sat in front of an unmannered sibling duo. The two were working on their simple plates of food, scarfing it all down like rabid animals. She couldn't blame them, the poor things were likely starved.
They met eyes quickly, Cregan standing to guide her to a seat at the bench next to him. Jace rolled his eyes again at the effort, grossed out by the affection. He slumped down next to Daenys, folding his hands in front of them and sipping at a wine poured in front of him. The staff were floundering about, looking in good spirits. She guessed they were used as personal servents to the soldiers—none of the hedge knights having been used to such grand luxury. Daenys briefly thanked the young man pouring her wine, but gently refused an offer for bread or stew.
"Lady Kalla. Is the Maester still around?" She asked tentatively, politely sipping at her wine instead of staring at the young lady.
She nodded, swallowing a chunk of rabbit. "Yes, your highness. He is still here, only confined to his rooms."
"Still? Has he not been let out?" Jacaerys asked.
Kalla smiled girlishly, bashful at the handsome princes' attention on her. "No, he simply always stays in there. Bad knees." She giggled softly, to ease the slight tension.
They nodded in turn. "So there are still ravens in the tower then, yes?" She asked.
Kalla hesitated before slowly nodding. "There should be. I think the soldiers used them to communicate with the King."
Daenys raised a brow, nonverbally waiting for her to correct herself.
She blushed again, apologizing quickly. "My mistake, Princess. They said 'My King' so many times that the words have ingrained themselves. To the Pretender." She fixed. "If you wish, I could send a raven to wherever you wish."
"Thank you, Lady Kalla." She smiled. "I can do that myself. Though, you should get to Lord Staunton's solar and begin familiarizing yourself."
She straightened, looking confused. "Familiarize?"
"You are the head of House Staunton, now. You will be expected to host any Black forces on your land as well as our naval forces. I hope this is not too overwhelming, but there really is not other choice."
"But—Kallus is the heir." She said in a hushed tone.
Glancing at Kallus, the young boy now done with his food and swishing the sauce in the bowl back and forth with his fork, and tensely sighed. "He may be the heir when Lord Staunton was here, but it will be over a decade before he is ready for the role. You must lead, as Lady." She said firmly. "The Queen will make the change in leadership official."
Lady Kalla froze, uneasily fiddling with her sleeve. "I have not been prepared for this."
Neither was the Queen herself. The men of the realm never seem to prepare their daughters for the world, even when they are grown and alone.
"I know." Daenys said, reaching for her hand. "But you must. For your father. And him." She nodded towards Kallus, who curiously met her eyes. Kalla looked down at her brother before turning back to Daenys, firmly nodded.
"I will try, Princess." She spoke.
"That is all I ask." Daenys said, standing from her seat. "I will begin my letter to The Queen. Jace?" She asked, gesturing for him to follow.
He did, hot on her heels as they went down a winding hall to an old hallway that led to the raven tower. In it, the birds squaked endlessly at the intrusion. "What is it?" Jacaerys asked, leaning on the table that Daenys sat herself at.
"Will you join me on the boat back to Dragonstone?" She asked.
He tensed, folding his arms over each other. "I was hoping to fly out to the Twins, while mother allows me to be out. I will not have another chance under her guard."
"I know." Daenys said, scribbling away. "I think you should—the Twins are vital for Cregan's men to travel to the Riverlands."
Jacaerys nodded severely. "What if they ask for a dragon?" He pondered. "Lady Jeyne already has, no doubt other houses bending their knees to us will get greedy."
"We cannot spare the adults." Daenys said flatly. "The babes were a means to placate Jeyne's worries. The Freys are too far North to need such protection, I think."
"Not too far for Vhagar." Jace reminded her.
"She will not be willing to fly so far. She's old, and injured. Her balance will be horrible, only good for short and predictable flights. Tell them that." She nodded to herself, mumbling the words she wrote out slightly to focus.
"Right." He trailed, taking the words in. Leaning over her shoulder, he read the words aloud to affirm.
"Dear Queen Rhaenyra, Rook's Rest has been reclaimed. Lady Kalla and young Kallus are alive and well, and I have named Kalla Lady of House Staunton. Please send a spacious barge to to docks here, with a small crew of trusted men. Perhaps Lord Corlys could make the journey personally, and I believe that Eveningstar would be well-suited for the trip. She has not seen open waters since father last sailed out.
Sunfyre will be making the journey on this ship. Do not send any men who are easily panicked. The dragon is injured, but I believe keeping him on Dragonstone's fields is a good defense and show of our strength. Well wishes, Daenys Velayron."
He sat back, humming in thought. "You really think Sunfyre will take a boat back to Dragonstone?"
"It is a short trip." She shrugged. "If I can make him obey out there, I can convince him to get on a boat."
Jacaerys smiled nostalgically. "I don't understand how you did that. Even Vermax wouldn't heed your command, and he adores you."
Daenys looked out the window, past the sleek black head of a raven. "I couldn't say, brother. But I do know that it is my fault that he will never fly again, so it's my responsibility to take care of him now."
Jacaerys nodded. Looking out at the three dragons cuddled up together (though Vermax was on Morningstar's flank opposite of Sunfyre, eyeing the golden one mistrustfully), he held his hand heavily on his pommel. "I will leave now. With luck, I think I'll make it back home before you do."
"Not luck, Jace." She chuckled. "Mother will tear open a new one for you—and I won't be there to mediate."
He paled, groaning in realization. "I'll take the boat back with you, then."
"Too late." She stood, rolling up the scroll and sending it off with no wax stamped onto it. "You should go before those old Freys take their afternoon nap."
Jacaerys scoffed, kissing his sister's temple 'goodbye' before leaving the room with a swish of his half-cape.
Daenys looked out of the empty windowsil, watching Jace mount the emerald dragon before leaving as fast as he came. They had been lucky today, perhaps too lucky for her ease of mind. Something was surelt brewing on the horizon. Shaking the thought from her mind, she found Cregan at the bottom of the steps.
"Daenys." He greeted with a soft smile. "Lady Kalla and her brother have retreated to their rooms."
"Good." She rolled her shoulder slightly, wishing to get out of this dusty place and stretch her legs. "Would you join me?"
"Anywhere, Princess."
"I wish to hunt for Sunfyre. He's probably starved after all these days out here."
Cregan nodded, taking her hand into the crook of his arms. "Like old times, then."
She laughed, "that was hardly in the past. I expect it will become tradition for us in Winterfell."
His eyes lit up at the thought. "You wish to continue camping around the wilderness, even after your residence in Winterfell?"
"A dragon gets restless easily."
It was his turn to laugh lightly. "Indeed, she does."
The Jacegon onesided beef continues (like Aegon and Daenys)
Thinking of dragon parentage again-how Morningstar is Silverwing's egg for sure but unsure about the father and if there even is one for dragons. But continuing off that—Sunfyre. He is theoried to be either Dreamfyre's or Silverwing's egg, with Vermithor as a possible sire. I for one think his show face shape is kind of similar to Silverwing's show face shape.
Morningstar and Sunfyre from the same clutch? Though hatching in different years as some eggs do. They both have tremendous and unique bonds with their riders, and are around the same age.
aging Daeron down because i dont know his full lore and have no interest in adding him to the Dance at all. Technically he does have Tessarion still but she's about the size of Tyraxes.
wanted to name a sword and Sea Tamer just sounded badass so
Aemond sending children and their dragons off to war core. Those memes always send me, he'd do it too if he could
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fxckn-sxck-fr · 2 days ago
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Please 🙏🏻 please 🙏🏻 please 🙏🏻 can I get your thoughts on yandere dom Hal Jordan‼️
Begging on my knees ❗️❗️
𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐌 𝐇𝐀𝐋 𝐉𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐀𝐍…
!!! 18+ THEMES, GN reader, heavy non-con elements, coercion, mentions of manipulation/intimidation/threats/kidnapping, semi-public, jealousy, possessiveness, biting, slightest mention of a possible cannibalism kink, brief daddy/sir kink, praise, degradation, angry sex, rough sex, somno, cockwarming, Hal is a menace to society and absolutely disgusting (I say as I drool over him).
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This ask is giving me psychic damage in the best way possible.
Hal does not take “no” for an answer. It doesn’t matter if his charm and charisma doesn’t work on you; he’ll find a way. Maybe he just needs to sprinkle in a little manipulation, or somehow scare you into his welcoming arms. Is that also not working? Hm, as much as he hates being the bad guy, he’s not afraid to use intimidation and threats towards you if the ends justify the means. Still not working? Well, damn. Guess he has to kidnap you. And to think this all could’ve been avoided if you hadn’t been so difficult.
This man is absolutely shameless, unable to keep his hands off you even in public. Yes, it gets ten times worse when he’s jealous. If it comes down to it, he absolutely will drag you off for a quick fuck. Does that make him a tiny bit possessive? Maybe. But, hey, for what it’s worth, he’s great with his mouth. Your pleasure usually comes before his; it’s the least he could do before he fucks you into oblivion.
Hal’s definitely a biter. There, I said it. And not just little nips, either. I’m talking full-on teeth marks on your shoulder, deep enough to bruise or even draw blood. This kind of goes hand in hand with his possessive side and maybe a hint of a cannibalism kink?? We don’t have time to unpack that, so we’ll leave it at what I know for sure: Hal Jordan thinks it’s very hot when you have bite marks all over your body. Especially when you’re wearing his jacket over them.
And if I say daddy kink, will y’all come after me? Cuz, yes, Hal is disgusting like that. He’d be over the moon if you hit him with the d-word. But, hey, he’ll take a “yes, sir” or “no, sir” just fine, too. Compromise, amiright?
When it comes to dirty talk, Hal can dish out praises and degrading comments equally. I think it depends on how much coercion he had to do; he’ll praise you if you took the easy way, degrade you if you took the hard way. Simple as that. Though this also depends on what you’re into. Again, your pleasure usually comes before his, so he makes mental notes on what you like.
Speaking of coercion though, remember that Hal doesn’t take “no” for an answer. Your choices are the following: accept his advances, or be forced to accept his advances. Should he need to force you a little, he’ll start off encouraging (“it’s okay, I’ll make you feel good, I promise”), then get a little more pushy (“come on, you know better than this”), until he’ll eventually just take what he wants (“hey. Stop struggling. I don’t wanna hurt you”). While he somewhat recognizes what he’s doing is wrong, he easily justifies it by reminding himself it was your choice to do this the hard way.
“Shh, everything will be fine, babe. Just let me take care of you. Yeah, there you go… you put up one hell of a fight. I’m sure you’re tired.”
God, he is an absolute menace when he wants to be. Should you ever piss him off, there’s a chance he’ll fuck his frustrations into you. This man has enough stamina to go for a long time, so I wouldn’t recommend testing him. Unless if you’re fine with not being able to walk for a couple of days. Then go for it!! It’s your call.
If you’re into that, a good way to piss him off is trying to weasel out of his grip. Hal always has an arm around you, be it in public, around the house, while you sleep… bro just canNOT let go. I think he’s secretly insecure about you running off, so for you to feed into that? Yeah, no. Not a good idea. Unless, again, that’s what you’re going for. Then it’s a great idea!!
Y’all, I’m gonna be honest. You may wake up in the middle of the night to him fucking you. He just can’t help himself, okay?? He didn’t want to wake you, and hey, what you don’t know won’t hurt you, right? Just know that if you catch his freaky ass doing this, he will feel absolutely no guilt. I mean, why would he? We’re already past the point of shame. If anything, he’ll double down and whisper nasty shit in your ear until he cums. And, yes, he’ll stay inside of you til the morning. Good ol’ cockwarming.
Oh, yeah. Cockwarming. He’s big into that. And it’s lowkey not even a sexual thing; he just really likes the intimacy. It’s very common for him to be inside you while the two of you watch TV, your back pressed against his chest as he leaves gentle kisses on your neck. This is when Hal shows his softer side, even going as far as resisting the urge to bite you!! What a big step for him!!
All in all, yan Hal is a mixed bag. As long as you’re compliant and don’t go out of your way to make things hard for him, I’d say he’s pretty mild. It’s just that his sex drive is through the roof, especially after long missions. Does he bring you with him to space? You know what, probably. He just wants to be near you, okay? Or, actually, maybe it’s more of the other way around; he wants you near him. The specifics are important.
But yeah. Good luck covering up those bite marks!! Hal likes to leave them in obvious places on purpose (he’s an asshole like that).
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palenutbasement · 3 days ago
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(all scenes are depicted as platonic)
So every Inktober I try to do something more challenging, and this year I thought I would make a short comic/fanfic. I think I got the idea for this one a year ago but I was already wrapped up with another Inktober. Eventually I solidified the idea by making my own prompt list some time ago.
This comic is split into three parts with 10 days focusing on each of them, 30 in total, everything is compiled here. I wanted to post them after October in case I wanted to change anything.
This first part takes place in the summit.
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The comic is basically all improvised, that means no planning for the composition, plot, or sketching any drawings. The most planning I did was write a few scripts ahead of time within the month to save me some time but most of them would be changed last minute anyways.
As for the plot, I won't go too deep into it because I don't want to talk too much, so you'll just find commentary on the making of the comic and stuff.
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This first part is a little gimmick-y compared to the next two, with new elements appearing almost every day. It’s because I relied a lot on the prompts (dog, milk, etc.) to keep things happening, eventually I move further away from them.
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What is surprising to me is how much the art changes as the days go by especially within the span of one month. I did refine a few things to keep it more consistent but this is nearly indistinguishable from the original drawings.
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I should also mention that my favourite aspect of this project was adding references to the game and subtle details (if you can find it all, awesome!!) This may have been done quickly but I like to have those things and put at least a bit of effort into the dialogue.
Part 2
Eventually I figured that drawing the same setting for 30 days straight would drive me insane, hence why this comic is split like it is. I’m glad I did because it makes the story a little more interesting, seeing the characters have different attitudes in different places and whatnot.
This one takes place in the cave directly after pt 1. Admittedly I do better drawing outdoor settings, it's what I'm used to, but the cave wasn't so bad to figure out.
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I remember these two days I was streaming drawing the comic to my friends, so I kinda zoned out while we were talking lol
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One of the prompts was about napping, so I made Dwarf sleep. I believe I was tired that day too and it was therapeutic to draw and include that. Also they look cute, I think.
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18 & 19 have some of my favourite drawings in the comic. The campfire lighting is what we'd get if I had a bit more energy each day, and I like the perspective in the first panel of 19.
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I find this last section interesting, because of all the 30 days, it’s the only one in Dwarf’s POV. I felt like it was fitting to do something like that at the time.
Part 3
Since we were approaching Halloween, I wanted to have a special part for it. It’s related to the other two parts but it takes place some time after. I’m really sorry it’s out of season, if it were up to me I would have had this post out earlier (thank my midterms for the delay)
Out of all the other parts this one is my favourite. Maybe because it’s more recent I’m inclined to think that way but it has some of my fave moments that I've written here.
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Other than that I don't have much commentary for this part. More thoughts at the end!
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I was caught up everyday atp, but I didn’t have much spare time to prepare for the ending (I wrote it the morning of that day). I think this is a decent conclusion though.
I intend on coming back to this story, maybe next year to make a continuation but we'll see what happens. There are definitely things that I want to come back to someday.
Thank you for making it this far btw. It's been an eventful month for me beyond this (Untitled) comic, but there wasn't a single aspect of this that I didn't enjoy doing. It's a silly project and I care about it.
Also, I'm not going to neglect the 31st of October! That day will get an illustration, where I will pick my favourite panel and redraw it. I want to take my time with this one so it's not out yet, but hopefully I can finish by Christmas.
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pamicakery · 2 days ago
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˚₊‧꒰ა preparing winter arc ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
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It's been a while uh? Since... September I guess. I manifested stuff like food... Basically food and 1k subscribers. Which is nice and
Thank you so much!!! 🩵🩷🩵🩷
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Here is a little story. Before I made this page, I've already made many many many tumblr accounts about Loa. Nothing happened. I posted and waited for people to come. I wanted to be popular. But.. No.. I had 5 followers.. Counting myself with.
With Pamicakery, when I created that page.. I felt like my post will be viral if I can put it like this. For me, it was a great idea. No doubts it's gonna flop. I decided. Today I am here sitting with 1k people with me. 1k. I never had so much in my life but I knew. I decided, I told myself that this page is gonna grow. People will come and appreciate what I have to say.
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Before the Pamicakery account, I had an Instagram page. I used to post my drawing and nothing happened. For 3 years. Even if I posted, the best I could have got was 5 likes.
I put it as a goal. I want my 100 followers. I want them and I will have them. I affirmed, for days. 3 days I affirmed. Even thought I saw that. For me that 84 will change into a 100.
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And here we are 3 days later.
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Your life can change In a snap of the fingers.
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It's not a lie. This is what a change of mindset do to your 3d. I wasn't destined to keep my 72 followers for the rest of my life. It was a circumstance but I decided that I was above it.
And I was thinking about my appearance and I was like.. How many
2020
2021
2022
2023
2024
Are we gonna be like this? Crying over our desires, seeing summer and winter pass. How many time? Because one day, if you do nothing your Sp will be taken, your job offer will go away. How many time will your scroll on tumblr for the best advice? Are you gonna have epiphany at 60's?
Why do you keep asking '' Can I manifest this or that? ''.
You decide. It's like going in a restaurant and asking another customer if you can order this or that.
Stop seeing your life Scrolling in front of eyes. Years and years are going. We have to be strong, we have to decide and persist.
It's not that bad if you don't believe it but keep persisting in having the thought that you can do it.
Keep thinking it. It will become an assomption.
You are the General and your army follows you. If you think you will fail, you army will think that too.
You don't want to be a loser anymore, you don't want to whine about your circumstances. So do i.
We have only one 2024 in all the history of humanity and you are wasting this. So get up, and train your mind to success, Saturate it with your achievement, be happy because you will succeed, Program your brain to success. Affirm, visualise. The success must be running 24/24 in your mind.
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Get up early, if it's hard? Go harder! But never stop, decide. Don't let the 3d making fun of you anymore. If you think it's to hard, you are weak, the 3d will not sugar coat you.
Be stronger, be unstoppable. Shout in your 4d, Roar in your mind, and keep going! Keep going and keep going and keep going. Take 5 minutes and repeat that you will succeed, go to your mind to seek for evidence, persist and never give up.
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One day there will be no more 3 days, or a week, or tomorrow. Decide to change today, right now.
-choose.
-see it as a goal.
-The image of your success should be your 4d wallpaper.
-Affirm and Condition Your Brain for Success
-Persist and know that it will change.
-make internal conversation.
-Repeat the thought of you being good at manifesting
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LET'S DO THIS WINTER ARC AS MASTERS MANIFESTER.
(I just came here to say that, but then.. I'll put myself in the state of a conqueror, a warrior and a master Manifester. 🐎)
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yanderefarm · 4 hours ago
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Now I need us “pretending” to forget about Emil, only to actully forget about it him.
Like, as a punishment we lock him in the basement and forget about him as a joke, send a maid down there once a day to feed him, but then we genuinely forget about with him, because we didn’t realize how much work Emil does.
He gets feed once a day from a maid, but that’s the only interaction he has. (Need some more angst before it gets fluffy🙏🙏)
part 3 of this & 2
i don't know why i love this series so much i want to break emil so bad. i have so much fun writing pathetic emil whump.
cw;; domestic abuse, drugging, unsanitary, manipulation, dehumanization
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things had been relatively peaceful since starting the divorce process. a process you had paid the information guild to purposely obstruct and delay while also leaking all the information about. at this point you met the guild master more than your own husband, in spite of emil's attempts. every day you would wake up to find some kind of expensive gift and your maids would inform you that emil was there to see you, to which you would dismiss both. but emil kept trying.
he wasn't even being drugged anymore but the effects had clearly taken their toll on his mind. according to the servants of the main house he wasn't doing his work, he would spend all his time wandering or sitting like he was the living dead, and they even heard him crying. your name and even mention of the queen title had been all but banned by his advisors in an attempt to get him to pull himself together. he wasn't.
the first time you saw him in 6 months was shortly after a meeting with the guild master discussing your next steps to take over the kingdom. you had decided with everything squared away you would go out for a walk by the fountain.
the moon was the only light on the usually vibrant garden, casting it in a somber darkness. the air was cold and heavy with the chilling change of seasons on the horizon so you were wrapped in a shawl. it was the perfect night to find him. your husband was standing on the bridge overlooking the fountain, he was staring down into the water longingly. you could see from his reflection in the water his eyes were sunken and there were bags under them, his hair was messy and uncombed, and he was paler than normal. he looked sickly and the cold blank look in his eyes didn't help.
he didn't even seem to notice as you approached when usually he would be on high alert or draw his sword. or he did notice.
"if you're going to kill me please make it quick." he must have thought you were some kind of assassin but more notably his voice was so soft and weak unlike anything you'd ever heard from him.
"i have no intention of killing you." your voice made his head shoot up with all the speed his weakened state could allow.
fresh tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. "(y/n)..? are you... real..?"
he stumbled towards you his feet struggling to carry him. you reached out and caught his surprisingly light body.
"you're re-"
"what's wrong with you? do you think dying will make things better?"
he flinched and his head fell to the ground.
"i thought you would break eventually and just admit you were wrong. but you'd rather die, hm?"
"i- you- i tried-"
"i don't want your excuses, emil."
he swallowed hard as tears began falling freely from his eyes. he opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. you couldn't help but take some kind of pity on the poor man, your hand running under his chin and forcing him to look back at your face.
"you're so pathetic... this is what the terrible tyrant becomes?"
you ran your thumb along his bottom lip before you leaned in close enough to feel his ragged breath against your lips.
"give up your pathetic life. give everything to me. everything ends when you give it to me."
he tried to lean forward enough to catch your lips but you kept out of his reach. instead of letting him kiss you, you pulled away from him completely. you stood up straight and pulled your arms away from his body causing the pathetic man to drop onto his knees. his body hit the cobble like you'd dropped a corpse but you decided not to care, choosing to turn away instead.
you started to walk away when you heard scratching and clawing at the stone under your feet.
"-ing please. please!" his voice clearly strained to try get your attention.
you stopped in your tracks waiting for him to speak but instead you heard more clawing and shuffling. eventually you felt his head bump into your leg like a cat greeting its owner. his bloody hands grabbed your leg and he held onto you as tight as he could while rubbing his head against your leg.
"emil. let me go."
"please take it... please take everything..."
"let me go."
"you want everything its yours. please."
"emil."
you finally dared to look down at him. he was so pathetic, his tears and blood were staining your pants. you let out a heavy sigh and reached down, your hand running through his tangled mess of hair.
"if you mean that then tomorrow concede your kingdom to me."
his peachy pink eyes looked up at you.
"do you understand?"
he nodded.
"then let go. you're getting me dirty."
he hesitated but he slowly let go of your leg.
———
of course your husband came through. he did as you ordered him, meaning you ascended to the title of king ahead of your schedule. while it certainly had its benefits it did leave a few things unfinished specifically on the guild master's end. so after everything settled into place you used your new found power to help staple in the final touches.
your husband who had been so happy to have you next to him again the past few months had to resume the drugs just so your hard work wouldn't completely slip away. he was still walking around like a corpse just a better maintained one. but no one seemed to have the time to pay much mind in the chaos of making you king. no one had the time to wonder where he went near the end of the chaos as you took over. and it was only when it was too late did his advisors even notice he wasn't anywhere to be found in the castle. you had to reassure them that he was currently tucked away from the public receiving the utmost medical care for his poor condition.
you ran a hand through your hair as you descended the dungeon steps, you were currently complaining to your maid about all the tedious parts of your job. there was an undeniable smile on your face though, the pride of having the most powerful kingdom in your hands made even the tedium valuable. your smile only widened twisting into a sick smirk as your torch caught onto the dirty form of your caged husband. he was on his knees clinging to the bars of his cell with tearful dead eyes.
"how long has it been, emil...?"
you walked over and crouched in front of him, he immediately went to push his head against your hand.
"your highness it's been 6 months since your last visit." your maid hung the torch nearby.
"really...? it's been over a year since i started this..."
your maid set about preparing emil's food while you pet him gently.
"i didn't mean to forget you down here."
the poor man didn't even seem to realize as he rubbed his head against your hand.
"oh emil... to think it only took a little over a year to break the mad king. to take everything away from you. to trap you in a little cage like you did my family."
the maid returned with some fresh water and a bowl of porridge. you pulled away from emil as she gave him his food. you watched his pathetic eyes look up at you desperately and you cocked your head to the side.
"your highness he's asking permission to eat."
your eyes lit up as you looked over at your maid. "oh my goodness!! you're incredible! i remember telling you i wanted to train him but to think you really went the extra mile..."
"thank you, sir. it's an absolute honor to break the man who destroyed my home."
your smile didn't fade as you looked down at the pleading former tyrant. "go ahead. but you can't use your hands."
emil hesitated before he finally shoved his face down into the bowl, eating like a pig with slop. it was a disgusting but amusing site, you and your maid had a good laugh at his expense.
once he was done you decided to give him a reward for good behavior. you crouched down in front of him and gently cleaned the mess off his face with a warm wash cloth. it was the closest thing he'd had to a real bath in the past 6 months. he was sobbing as he leaned into your hands.
it didn't last as long as he'd liked and you pulled away again.
"continue training him. id like to parade him around eventually so we should work with that goal in mind."
"you'll have his complete obedience. he won't even think to breathe without your permission."
"wonderful." you ran a hand down through his tangled mess of hair. "... I'll give you a budget so you can properly turn this area into the perfect training facility and our private friend can help you with the details."
"i look forward to it, your highness."
"i do too. when we're done with you you'll finally tell me you love me. you'll thank me for all of this, emi."
all you got was a whimper in response. you left your precious husband down in the dungeon, a forgotten and disgraced king.
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izaacs-notdeadyet · 3 days ago
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Zombie Apocalypse au!!
I really need to come up with a better name cause "zombie apocalypse au" just seems bland and "tlou outsiders au" is just too long 😔😔 def drop some ideas if you have any.
Anyway!1!1 dally design drop!!
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Gon be real, I did not have fun drawing this and I think it shows in the art but fuck it!! We ball. This is like maybe my second time drawing dally and I can't get him down well for the life of me. Kinda going threw art block I think but we stay on the grind 🗣️🗣️🗣️
While he wasn't fun to draw, he was definitely fun to think up his story in this au. I think I'm gonna be a bit selective with what all I say abt the gang from now on, cause I'm really considering turning this into a fic (would y'all read about this?)
Anyway!1!1 time to yap
Dally didn't grow up in New York
But he grew up in a gang with a lot of survivors from New york
The gang "leader" was pretty tough on Dally, he was the only kid and no one really liked his being there much
He was only there cause his dad had somehow managed to talk the group into letting him join when Dally was younger
On the topic of Dally's dad,
He wasn't a bad guy, but dally and him never got along much
He never hit dally though, only one time
Dally snuck away to go exploring in the city
And ended up pissing off the leader of their group real bad
He made Dally's dad hit him, kinda in a moment like Sarah's dad hitting her in the walking dead video game (take this as loosely similar, cause I've never played nor watched the walking dead)
It was then Dally decided to leave and take off on his own at only 12.
He wasn't going to let anyone hit him like that again or hold that kind of power over him
He wandered around America and maybe even Canada for awhile
I like to think he used to have a horse, one that either died or got stolen, but he loved it a lot while he had it
He found the gang on their trek through Oklahoma.
By "found" I mean found their camp and tried to steal from them, not realizing they were right outside
When it went wrong he ended up holding Two-bit (who had been sick at the time) at knifepoint, trying to get them to give up their shit
Darry ended up talking him down, convincing him to just sit and talk (made harder by Steve and Pony agreeing on something for once in their life, and it being on killing Dally)
Dally ended up staying at their camp for the night, planning to leave in the morning, but Two-bit found him at the campfire later that night
They had a talk, Two-bit didn't blame him or dislike him for what he'd done, he was the first one to forgive and really be okay with Dally's presence.
Come the next day, and Two-bit was up before anyone else regardless of how sick he was, standing up for Dally and saying Darry should let him stay.
It took a bit of convincing, but Dally was allowed to stay, and he just kinda ran with them since
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drdonogood · 2 days ago
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Yes hello I'm hear to listen to your yaps about J&H plz
OMG, HELL YAAAHHHH ok swag. So. Drawing randomly from a hat, some various ideas of mine- My AU/ideas are mish-mashed from some of my favorite Jekyll and Hyde adaptations. And some of my own ideas stitched in. (I'm also putting it out there that this AU has no name yet, and I would love suggestions from anyone) also of there are any typos i'm sorry. This is half word vomit and there are only so many times I can re-read it.
> Other monsters and gothlit bullshit probably exsist in my universe. I just haven't thought enough about it.
> Jekyll is right-handed, Hyde is left-handed. They both have a mole in the same spot under their left eye (his left your right). Hyde's veins look green through his skin- Aaand Hyde vaugly looks like a more feral, compact, and fucked up version of younger Jekyll. These are the absolute basis/my fav JnH ideas I've seen around.
> In that recent Hyde Shitpost, you may notice that he is covered in blood. This is because the pressure of condensing into a smaller body shoots blood out of his face. (There's a lot less blood when turning into Jekyll. A super bad nose bleed- At worse some ear bleeding?) It's kinda like the fun glowing mysterious green goo you see in a lot of adaptations. And I almost went with the green goo too. But decided on blood with freind input 😭 This also means that they have low iron and Jekyll is prone to fainting. (Jekyll has always been a bit of a stress fainter though...Hyde is a bit too energized to faint easily but he might)
> I think I've mentioned it here a little- But my Hyde has a tendency to....eat things that are inedible. Raw fish and rocks and paper and dirt and wood. His stomach acid is strong enough to digest small rocks (because this freak's biology is FUCKED)- anything heftier would be a problem. But it still makes Jekyll... a little ill in the morning. I had the thought that maybe this was because Jekyll had suppressed Pica and it presented itself hevily in Hyde? But I haven't developed that idea too much.
> Hyde has thicker, denser bones. Which helps with his "Amateur Parkour Hobby" (aka: His compulsion to jump and climb on everything like a little freak) He also has beans little callous spots on his hands that help him grip things better! .....beans. sorry.
> Hyde's eyes look like they are void black- but if you shine a light on them, they are iridescent green! Bright lights also seem to bother him quite a lot, and he doesn't like being out on sunny days.
> Jekyll's body was slightly changed/modified after drinking HJ-7, so he has a few toned down physical aspects of Hyde's. Like sharp canines and sharp nails (that he frantically cuts down every time he wakes up) and fucked up eyes and even some of the weird biology stuff (Like the digestive thing, faster heart rate, lower body temperature, slight aversion to light ect. Just not AS much as Hyde has it)
> Jekyll and Hyde don't technically age. Their bodies turn back to the day they took the potion. If one of them was stuck being physical for an extended period of time- they WOULD start to age. But it would be reverted the second they transformed. BUT physical injuries only get slightly healed. So they can't just ITV heal injuries by transforming. It helps! But not entirely.
> Hyde HAS to be let out. It causes major problems if he isn't. He gets VERY stir crazy and it effects the both of them negatively. Physically and mentally. It would eventually trigger an involuntary transformation. And Hyde would be a bit fucked up. Likewise, Hyde uses up too much energy just by existing to stay out for days on end. He has to get back in eventually or else. Yk. Involuntary transformation.
> Also Hyde is biologically both sexes. Something something representing the aforementioned Jekyll closeted Tfem stuff that probably won't ever be addressed. He wouldn't care what pronouns you called them but. Obv victorian era everyone uses He when they see him 🤷🏻‍♂️.
> Depending on how long he gets to live (no set plot so him Jekilling himself could or could not happen) Hyde does infact develop a consciousness. Or...His consciousness develops....Or something. Idk how to describe it in such few words. He's definitely starts off distinct and split enough. But Hyde doesn't think about the nature of his existence or Jekyll all that much. He's clearly far too caught up in the joy and rush on being alive and experiencing things. If he exists for long enough, he will eventually have a pretty bad existential crisis. Bro realises that he thinks, therefore, he is. He'll get better, though. And probably be better off.
> Jekyll and Hyde don't find out until way later that they can see each other and communicate and all that regular fanon stuff. (And even still it takes a long and stubborn while for Jekyll to realise just how conscious Hyde is). They CAN make each other KINDA feel a weird sort of Phantom touch. They can see eachothers apparitions. And maybe the non-physical one can see things in a room even when the physical one isn't looking at it. But that's the extent of their interaction with the real world if they aren't physical.
> I'm not a big fan of Hyde being a serial killer type malicious evil guy? He dosen't represent evil obv. Im much more into that TGS style Hyde characterization. But then again, I don't have a set plot, and the idea is fun sometimes. Like he still has the capacity for murrder.... Maybe as a side AU for my AU. I think reasonably he wouldn't be- and at most kills Carew randomly during an emotional outburst. I do think that Hyde likes to start bar fights and beat the shit out of people, though. He loves the rush of being punched but isn't very happy on the very off chance that he doesn't win. Maybe he isn't evil, but that guy is a freakish asshole. And a bit of a man whore.
> This is my friend @ilovebeesandallthat 's fault. But Jekyll is one of those old people who go CRAZY for the holidays. Like he tries soooo hard to be normal about Christmas. He is not. Jekyll isn't the type to throw big parties (attend them? Maaaybe. Host dinners for his friends and colleagues? Definitely. But throwing a big party? Eeehhh-) And yet every year, high society gets excited for Jekylls' yearly Christmas party. Unfortunately, Jekyll's insane Christmas spirit has pierced the soul of our poor London's night Incarnate- and dragged him down to the hellish depths of Holly Jolly Christmas insanity. I fear both Jekyll AND Hyde turn into the most disgusting Holliday feinds the second it turns midnight on November 1st....
> Oh yeah, also because I'm an unoriginal TGS AND TMA fan- Hyde will sometimes refer to himself as "London's Night Incarnate." Beacuse, I thought it sounded like just the sort of thing he would think was cool.
> Lanyon and Jekyll's families were very close. They both were born and grew up in Scotland (Scottish Jekyll truthhhh sorry). They moved to England for university, and for the first chunk, it was them against everyone else. But then Jekyll started hanging around this 'Utterson' guy and started speaking in an English accent and started being uber charismatic with everyone- and it very much bothered Lanyon. He still stuck with Jekyll- but this is what started the strain on their relationship. Lanyon did end up being close to Utterson. But now his relationship with Utterson is better than his relationship with Jekyll....
> Despie all that- Sorry folks, Lanyon is the token straight (I HAVE joked abour him being a Henriel fudanshi though lolll. He loves the drama). He has a wife named Lindsey (she's a nurse!), and they love each other very very much (even though Lanyon is a grumpy ass stubborn old fart). They have 2 adult kids who have moved out and live elsewhere but visit as much as they can. They had a Scottish wedding, and Jekyll was the best man (even though Lanyon considered making it Utterson out of spite...he had to keep the family peace). Utterson also got to be there.
> Lucy and Emma exist in this world, too! Beacuse I like them too much to leave them out despite my beef with the musical and my more book based ideas. Emma is a...bit less developed. She's a wee inspired by some stuff I have seen about Hyde and Seek (the MazM spin off that I haven't played yet). She is Jekyll's ex-fiancé. She left because- despite how much she cared about him- his work was clearly too much. And honestly, she was a wee bit scared of it and how...weird he would get about it. She just couldn't take it anymore and knew she deserved better. Even despite not getting married, they act like a divorced couple on the off chance they cross paths. BUUUUt they still care about each other. Just...not in a romantic way anymore. And they kinda have their own lives going on. She has a husband now and some grown kids! She hasn't been in London so...she actually doesn't know what's going on with Jekyll. Maybe she finds out later, ooooo.
> I probably won't delve TOO much into Lucy's character as much as I could rn. I have...a LOT I could say about her. I'll save that for another post since I'm tryyying to not prolong this and also keep it at least a little on the topic of JnH spesifically. I always thought that if I *did* have an adaptation of my AU- she'd be either the main or a frequent POV. She isn't a love interest or a victim of Hyde. In fact her and Hyde are kinda besties??? She's like a middle ground between ITV/TGS Lucy and musical (which I haven't yet watched ITV but have been infodumped about it) She meets Jekyll...somewhere idk- and has an interesting philosophical conversation with him. Which is a cover for her pickpocketing him. He is...well aware that she is doing so- but doesn't say anything about it. Much like in the musical, he gives her his card and tells her to keep in touch if she ever needs anything. Later down the line, she gets approached by a weirdo in a bar who yaps her ear off about the most ridiculous things. She keeps expecting this guy to ask for her services and get this over with- but he never does. And she keeps seeing this guy day after day- until one of his yap sessions goes on so long that he's just following her home and yapping (you can probably take the hint that yes, this is Hyde). And now she's starting to realise this guy isn't threatening- he's just weird. And probably not human....and maybe even a tad bit endearing? Mostly weird, though. And now he Kimmy Gibbler-ing his way around her apartment in the middle of the night. Crawling through her window when he feels like it to hang out and show her gift her all the cool new trinkets he has stolen and raid her fridge and bring her dead things. And she starts to appreciate it beacuse it starts to break up her monotonous and depressing daily cycle. They take care of each other and it's nice (once again- can get more into it in another post)
> Hyde is a disgusting little slime ball who is somehow always covered in filth and grime. Lucy fucking hates this.
>Hyde has an accidental common theme of being a Devil-On-The-Shoulder to more than JUST Jekyll. He tends to bring out the most weird and hidden sides of people- which is....fitting considering what he is. It's something that happend accidently as I was thinking of character interactions- but something that I think is really really fun....
ANYWAY THAT'S ALL FOR NOW- MORE LATER.....MAYBE 🫡🫡🫡
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donnerpartyofone · 3 days ago
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This is from Adam Bornstein's column in Arnold Schwarzenegger's newsletter, which I feel somewhat silly about reading so faithfully but it is not infrequently interesting. Over the past few years I have been thinking about discipline, how you gain it and lose it, and what it does for you besides achieving a specific outcome. To say that the product of self-control is self-control itself may not sound very enticing, but it's pretty important. I feel like I've lost a lot of that over the last few chapters of my life, and I suspect that it is harder to gain back at my age, but I need to think about it.
I've been thinking about my entire life history with self-control. When I was a kid, I was masochistically disciplined. As early on as I can remember, I had this impression that life was essentially or even exclusively difficult and the only way to justify your existence and satisfy other people was to continuously demonstrate your ability to endure pain, boredom, frustration, deprivation, disappointment, and embarrassment, every hour of every day, forever. (Not that I always endured these things without having a fucking meltdown, but they were the entire content of my life it seemed, so I WAS enduring them) It wasn't all bad, I guess; I got good grades and, like, I remember enjoying karate classes, which are heavily predicated on repetition and endurance and delayed gratification. I had a weird fixation on the army; I didn't fantasize about war or patriotism or whatever, it was this whole thing about how I would be amazing at boot camp and getting yelled at. I also had some sort of bizarre idea about prison, like I would be the best at being a prisoner. This is because I'm a natural-born pervert.
Sometime in my 20s, I started to lose my discipline. I think there were a lot of reasons. A big reason is probably that I didn't have anything to be disciplined FOR. I'd been told my whole life that I was smart and I could be anything I wanted when I grew up, or whatever, so I thought that eventually it would start to become clear what I should do with my life, but it never did. The few things I thought would make a good career for me were things I had no practical understanding of, no idea what it took to make them into a job, so I just didn't do them. This surely means I was never going to be good at them anyway; I think when you're truly interested in something you become compelled by an affectionate curiosity about what you need to learn and do in order to participate in that thing. I may also be too intellectually deficient to have figured out the right questions about my interests, but anyway, all that youthful discipline I had built up to get good grades and satisfy adults didn't really have a purpose when I became an adult myself, so my grip on myself started to slip.
My early adult life was pretty bad. Just the basics of finding jobs and places to live eluded me; I never had the knowledge or the paperwork or the experience or the self-confidence to do the adult things, and I think this was pretty painfully obvious to other adults who were in a position to give me opportunities. I had a sense of being really stunted and way behind where I should be in my personal development, at my age, but I didn't know what to do about it. I did try; there's a perception about me that I just give up and don't try, so I often feel like no one is willing to recognize how often I try and fail, and I'm struggling to let go of my resentment about that. Anyway I continued my early childhood trend of having relationships with pushy, manipulative, abusive people who fed back to me the worst truths about myself, so they seemed very "honest" to me, a quality I admired. I spent most of my time just feeling bad and/or trying to survive social situations. It bothers me now when I think about all the years that I could have spent reading really great books that I still haven't read, trying to write and draw more, watching the movies that I'm still struggling to catch up on, seeing more art. Being in pain is a full-time job, it is incredibly time-consuming, and you will lose a lot more time if, in addition to being in pain, you are spending your evenings not reading Nabokov but watching The Jersey Shore and Mad Men and various other shows about abusive cheaters with your abusive cheating boyfriend who is shouting at the screen about how the girls force the guys to cheat, and who might start screaming at you and keeping you awake for days and chasing you into the closet if you betray the slightest hint of discomfort. All of that is extremely time-consuming.
When life got better, I think I had kind of a revenge reaction against discipline. Like in the early part of my life I had no money, and by the time I had some money I had no understanding of how it worked and no respect for it because I always had this powerful sense that everything is turning into ash before your eyes anyway and nothing is yours so who really cares. So if I got money, I'd just fucking spend it. Being so intensely disciplined as a kid had gotten me nowhere, as far as I could tell, so fuck it, I'm eating fucking candy bars, I'm having another suicidal bodega hoagie for dinner, why the fuck shouldn't I. I will sleep all goddamn day if I want, for days on end, I have a lot of self-indulgence to catch up on!
I'm not completely without discipline as a full-blown adult, I still have plenty of guilt and obligation and fear motivating me to go to the doctor and shit like that. I wish I were more motivated by optimism and a sense of building something, but I must say that doesn't often seem to work. The doctor is often frustrating and ambiguous. Sometimes I get a simple-seeming treatment for a problem, and it destroys a different part of my body and then I have to be on four new medications, and medications to control their side effects. Sometimes I pick up a new form of exercise and I feel good about myself for making an effort, and then the new routine causes problems I need to pay for treatment to fix. It seems I always have to sacrifice one part of myself for another and it's just a perpetual balancing act of barely-normal or sub-normal functioning. I wish it felt more like self-improvement. I wish I could enjoy feeling responsible without then feeling like I made a huge mistake and basically my whole being is just a lemon that does not warrant this much maintenance and concern.
But anyway.
After XX years I just had so many disappointments and made so many unpleasant discoveries, I started to wonder why people say "At least you tried." Like are we SURE that "trying" is, in and of itself, virtuous? Isn't it sometimes that you should "choose your battles" or something? Isn't giving up at least sometimes the actual correct and rational thing to do, when the ROI is nonexistent? What's with the "trying" all the time, what's with the not so subtle suggestion that there's some superior moral affect of trying?
It took me a long time to figure out that making an effort, at anything, even if it doesn't pay off in the specific expected way, builds you into a more resilient and capable person. I did have some counter-examples that helped me see what was going on, of people who performatively did the absolute bare fucking minimum and expected to be showered with praise and encouragement for it, and it was like this big trap to prove that nobody was giving them the unconditional love that they believed they deserved, and being in that behavioral habit all the time eventually rendered them incapable of actually sitting down and writing the thing or making the art or shooting the shot, or whatever, just for the love of doing those things and the curiosity about what could happen if you try. I saw that happening and I did not want to be like that. It painted a very clear picture of what "character" is, what is meant by "building character". The total refusal to ever make yourself uncomfortable doesn't only have specific in-situ destructive effects, but it also makes you a person who is generally less capable of dealing with life.
I want to get back to where I can make myself do things, not only out of fear and shame and masochism, and also not only to obtain a certain result which may not ever come, but just to rebuild self-control. I know that at my age, after a lot of neglect and nihilism, it's going to be harder to get that back. But it's gotta be worth it. I'm thinking about that thing where Arnold Schwarzenegger took ballet lessons to improve his posing, which by his account made him feel totally ridiculous, and like he knew he wasn't going to become a skilled ballerina or anything--but in the short term it did improve his poses, and in the longer term it made him more capable of doing things that felt embarrassing and hard and that he wasn't necessarily cut out for. That seems like a reasonable goal for me.
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ottpopfic · 1 day ago
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Four almost dads take a little girl to a pumpkin patch and nothing bad happens
-
“Will!” Leo shouts through a rainbow, scaring the shit out of the blond as he preps dinner
“Jesus fuuuu-freaking Christ man what do you want ?” Will saves just in time, still getting used to having impressionable ears around 24/7
“Pumpkin patch!”
“Pumpkin patch?”
“We need to go to a pumpkin patch”
“Aren't you supposed to be wedding prepping?”
“No shut up, I just learned Jason’s never gone”
There is a muffled call of “I've been to a patch of pumpkins before” from somewhere on the other side of the rainbow. 
“Babe a garden doesn't count!” Leo yells back before returning to Will “Also it would be fun to take Katie she needs a pumpkin”
The eight-year-old perks up at the sound of her name, having been too busy in her own world of coloring to pay attention to grown-ups. Today the drawing is of Festus, a welcome break from her usual repertoire of what they're pretty sure is her bio dad being brutally ripped apart and eaten by Cyclops.
Nico is sitting right next to their foundling at the table, a research text in one hand and his sketchbook in the other as he picks his way through the spellwork of his current case. But Will can tell his husband is listening by how he’s no longer taking detailed notes. 
“ Anyways ,” Leo continues on, his gestures getting bigger in his excitement “I found this place that-“
Leo’s arm goes right through the rainbow, disconnecting the call. Will takes the opportunity to go sit at the dining table with his family before Leo calls back so they can all be in the frame.
“We can go in the middle of the week,” Leo says without greeting as the rainbow reconnects “It's not like Katie is in school or anything right now”
It's true, she's not. She legally barely exists at the moment, just enough for Will and his husband to be her foster parents, making it so the truancy office is none the wiser. Right now they are focused on her mental and physical health, getting her into doctors and helping with her episodes. She obviously has some PTSD from her time in the swamp, and she's still underweight as well. They only just got an order in for braces for her weird backward knees, but it's still a week out until they are ready.
Therapy on the other hand they were able to find through The Program. Dr. Block isn't a demigod nor does he have the sight, but his sister is a child of Dionysus making him in the loop on the magical world. They have more mortals with halfling families joining these days, their family members living to adulthood opening doors on both sides.
It's probably the best that she's not in school at the moment, she's only been officially theirs for a little over a month since they brought her home from camp. The kid is still a little unsure about getting left again, and still very unsure of the outside world in general. The only places she truly relaxes are the di Solace apartment and the Way Station.
“Also there will be fewer people then” Leo presses on “easier on Chiquita and spotting monsters”
“Neeks?” Will checks
“I don’t have anything time-sensitive,” Nico says with a shrug before turning to the eight-year-old “You wanna go on an adventure Mostriciattola?”
Katie looks taken aback by being asked her opinion on the planning, so it takes a second for her to pause before thinking it over and then nodding with a smile. 
“Perfect!” Leo exclaims “You have some days off next week right -”
So next Wednesday the five of them pile into Will’s little four door and drive out of town to the pumpkin patch. 
They were able to find Katie a pair of green heavy-duty rain boots in her size from the Way Station’s collection, and she has her new favorite pair of embroidered overalls stuffed into them. It had been fun getting ready this morning, their little apartment bustling with the addition of Leo and Jason. Leo helps Nico get the kid ready by putting her hair in a pair of french-braids, and Jason helping Will pack the cooler. They have gone on double-date outings like this before, but the addition of Katie is making it extra joyful.
Leo drives because Will is sleep-deprived and Jason shouldn't and Nico hates it and if Leo doesn't he gets car sick. Something about being able to feel the machine working while the world moves around him, but when he drives he can just be the machine and it's fine. Whatever, Will passes out fifteen minutes in anyway. 
Katie wakes him when they get there, climbing over Will in her rush to get out. Then she's doing that excited stim she does, a little stomping dance from foot to foot, before giving a spin so she can shake Will's arm.
“I'm up I'm up” he laughs, Katie gives him a huge grin and then speeds off to see what Nico and Leo doing in the trunk.
“Okay,” Jason admits as he steps out of the shotgun passenger door  “This is not a patch of pumpkins”
It is very much not a single patch of pumpkins. The place was at one point a family farm, most of the original buildings have been repurposed into things like gift shops and cafes. There is a large corn maze off in the distance, hand-painted wooden signs showing the way to the pick-your-own orchards and caramel apples. There is a playground made of hay bales and a paddock of animals to pet and feed. 
With the leaves just changing color and the air slightly crisp the whole place feels cozy and autumnal. Both Katie and Jason are looking around in amazement, Will wonders if their kid has ever been to something like this before 
Fortunately, the place isn't crowded. There are what looks like a handful of families and one group of preschoolers on a field trip. This is good, because they all figured out fast that Katie struggles with large crowds, becoming quickly overwhelmed. They haven't figured out if it's her PTSD or obvious neurodivergence yet, but Will suspects it's a combination of the two.
When they start off towards the buildings Katie quickly falls behind, even with everyone walking slowly. It is hard for people over six feet to compensate for a little girl with a disability, so Jason gleefully crouched down to ask if he can carry her. Then the big softy has the kid perched on the crook of his arm bent close to his body. Katie's smile is blinding, one arm holding onto Jason's shoulder the other free to stim on the floral embroidery of her overalls or to point when she spots something interesting. 
“Fuck that's cute” Leo murmurs to himself before catching up with his fiancee and taking his free hand in his own 
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Katie directs the group with her gestures, for a kid who still won't really talk she communicates very clearly. The four of them are perfectly happy to go where she wants, a lot of it is peering at plants and decorations until they find the menagerie of animals behind a wire paddock. They scrounge some quarters between them to get pellets from the coin-operated machine, totally worth it for the little giggle the cows get out of Katie when they eat from her hand. 
Nico is audibly surprised so many of the barn animals aren't running screaming from him, that is until they figure out that the cows are obsessed with Jason.
“I hate this” Jason gripes, but he's not moving away because Katie is half leaning out of his arms to pet the cows and get all slobbered on. The ones not getting loved on by the kid are inching closer staring at Jason like he has something they want, a few of them attempting to mouth at what they can reach of his sweater sleeves. 
“I think they have peacocks in the next pen” Nico points with a shit-eating grin.
True to his word, the next paddock is full of birds, and the two peacocks and single peahen are staring down the son of Jupiter like they want to eat him. Jason lets out a little puppy whine of distress.
That gets the girl's attention, turning back to the blond with a concerned face and papping at his cheek with a bovine-slobber-covered hand.
“It's okay,  I'm okay” Jason tries to reassure her, but Will can tell the expression doesn't reach his eyes by the way she frowns. 
They have found that Katie does this thing, where she will study your face for a long moment until she finds what she is looking for. It's a little unnerving, big dark round eyes boring into your own with such intensity many people become taken aback. Will finds it reminds him of Nico as he tries to parse some dead something out of your aura, or when an Aphrodite kid is looking into your love lines. Taking a peek into parts of you that only someone touched by the divine can do
They have no clue what she can see in people when she does that, but it feels like she's looking deep into your heart and separating out your true intentions. 
Also, the longer Jason has worked on his own mental health the shittier his poker face has become, so for Katie he's not a hard egg to crack. She wipes cow spit off on his sweater and points to the hand sanitizer dispenser. 
“Ready to clean up” he asks, trying his best to keep the relief out of his voice, Katie nods yes and points again.
Katie directs them to pumpkins next. It's a small hay ride to the patch, lame compared to the ones back in Texas though Jason looks a little spooked by the rattling of the cart, past an apple orchard heavy with dark fruit. The kid has no interest in the trees, she's off following the hand-painted signage to the pumpkin patch before they are all of the tractor bed. Nico is quick to follow her, and they are in the waist-high grass before anyone can stop them, though Leo hangs back for a moment to squint at the tractor. 
Will immediately starts to fret watching his husband and kid toddle about into the tall grass “What if there's ticks”
“Can't you like, psychically remove ticks?” Leo asks.
“I can check for lyme disease and stop spirochetes, it's not the same”
“I think it's too cold for ticks now” Leo tries to reassure.
“I can zap the ticks off” Jason supplies plainly like it will help anything.
Leo gives his fiancee one of his patented ‘babe that's ferial wolf shit’ looks “You are not zapping ticks off the kiddo” he tells him.
“It's always been fine before, I just get staticy and they fall right off”
“Anyways” Leo breaks in, “I think it will be fine”
Will's worry spiral is interrupted by Katie’s little ‘whoop’ of success, holding a pumpkin bigger than her torso above her head. The three of them clap and cheer as Nico tries to help steady her on the uneven muddy ground, but she is not deterred. She's carrying the gourd through the dead cattails and goldenrod back to the group and looking very pleased with herself.
Katie plants her big orange prize at Will’s feet and is then dragging Jason into the grass and vines by the hand, determined to get him a pumpkin too. Leo and Nico switch places as the small child guardian, Will’s husband with his own much smaller pumpkin on his hip.
“There are no ticks,” Nico tells him, sliding his free hand into one of Will’s back jean pockets, knowing his worries as always “I can tell they sprayed”
“Okay,” he relents a little, leaning into his husband's shoulder.
“Do you want to go get a pumpkin?”
Will pulls his lips thin, watching Leo struggling to keep Katie from eating a frankly ginormous grasshopper as Jason snacks on a rogue pumpkin flower.
“I promise there's no ticks”
“Promise?”
“Promise” Nico squeezes his butt with the hand in his pocket “Also I don't think Leo can keep both of them from eating bugs at the same time”
“Fair enough” Will relents with a snort of laughter, and wades into the grass to join the commotion. 
After paying they drop the pumpkins off at the car, no use hulling them around. It also gives them a chance to get drinks from the cooler and remove the bits of dead plants off Katie. She doesn't look to mind all of the fussing over her, everyone picking bits of foliage and seeds out of her hair and clothes as they spot them, she's perfectly happy to sit on the ledge of the trunk with the gourds, drink her juice-box, and kick her boots against the bumper.
“Not sure where we should go next,” Nico asks as he studies the map Will nabbed when they got there “What else is there to do now that we have pumpkins?”
Jason tilts his head to the side like a confused dog “I thought you said you have been to one of these places before”
“Yeah but that was for like, a zombie outbreak” Nico confesses with a shrug “This is the first time I've gotten to explore without the undead”
“I mean, you could add the undead” Leo teases, Katie perks up excited at the idea.
“No” Jason and Will monotone together, both Leo and Katie huff and complain good naturally and then grin at each other like the little goblins they are.
“We can just wander around” Will supplies, peering at the paper over his husband's shoulder “There's like food stalls and stuff”
“Sound like a plan?” Nico asks Katie, she smiles around the last of her juice box and nods.
They pick their way back across the gravel parking lot to the main buildings. Leo is squinting at the pick-your-own tractor that is currently loading the preschool group as they pass “There's something off with the tractor”
“Leave the tractor alone,” Jason tells him.
“But-”
“Leave the tractor alone,” Nico and Jason say together, Leo sighs deeply and dramatically. 
They get caramel apples at the cute little stand, mostly because Jason has never heard of them and the way Katie’s eyes get big and excited at the colorful display of toppings. Will insists on making sure they are cut (because choking hazards and the feral idiots chewing on the sticks), but that doesn't stop his kid from forgoing her fork to excitedly scarf down her treat and becoming incredibly sticky, it's very cute.
“Do not lick her” Leo warns his fiancee with a threatening plastic fork, clocking something in Jason’s posture and clueing Will in that it's time to clean her up. 
“ But ” Jason starts, looking conflicted “but puppy -”
“Don't lick my kid” Nico reinforces, Jason gives a huff sigh of defeat and pitifully watches Will clean Katie off with a wet-wipe. 
Katie acts like he's trying to waterboard her, squirming and trying to suck the excess charmel off her fingers. The wet-wipes quickly get abandoned so Will can take her over to the hand washing station situated by the port-a-potties. The eight-year-old is fine washing her hands on her own, so Will gets one of the bandannas out of his bag to sneakily wet under the spigot. 
“Ah-ha!” he laughs at his kid as he wipes her down, her face scrunching against being cleaned  “Got you.” She gives him a stink face when he's done and then drys herself off on his sweater sleeve, he guesses that makes them even. 
They wander for a while after that, either letting Katie lead the way or encouraging her game of musical adults that consists of getting passed from one pair of arms to another at her insistence. There are gardens and decoration displays to look at, lots of things to climb and explore, and photo ops at every turn. It feels like someone is always taking a picture, and no one is being sneaky about it, Will even catches his husband setting his lock screen to a photo of Will holding their kid among a huge patch of mums and marigolds and smiling to himself.
Eventually, they make it to the back of the property where the corn maze is. The thing is huge and intricate, the map on the plack showing that it has shapes of stars and moons and a smiling jack-o-lantern in the design.
“Do we wanna race?” Will asks, hand in his pockets.
The normal double date plan when they do something like this is a competition, either splitting up as couples or one pair against the other to see who can get through faster. 
Jason is not a competitive person, not like Will can be, and neither tends to be Nico. At least until Leo Valdez is in the picture, whatever it is about that man brings out this sibling-like competitiveness in Will’s husband. Something about their part goblin part I-have-known-this-person- way -too-long-and-lived-through- way -too-much-of-each-others-bullshit esk relationship just makes them egg each other on in the right circumstance. 
This time they have Katie though, making the teams uneven. 
Leo has that covered “You wanna see if we can beat your dads at the maze” he asks the girl.
And that's pretty awesome, to be called Katie’s dad, Will is still getting used to it. She hasn't called them ‘dad’ yet, at least not out loud (but that's not much of a surprise, she doesn't say much) but she's acknowledged them as such in other ways. Mostly in how she reacts when others call them her dads, pointing or agreeing when they do.
Like now, with Katie nodding and confirming. She does an excited little hop before turning to Will and Nico and sticking out her tongue. 
“Rules?” Jason asks, knowing his fiancee.
“No powers, no inventions, no weapons, no explosions, no flying, no talking to the dead” Will ticks off on his fingers.
“And no talking to birds!” Leo adds.
“I can not control what the birds have to say to me” Jason defends
“To the middle or the end?” Nico breaks in before they get into another spiral of how far passive powers can go before it's cheating. 
“Uuuuuuh”
They all look at the laminated map of the maze stapled to the plack to decide, Katie points at a tower structure towards the center.
“To the tower?” Will asks
Katie smiles and nods yes.
“To the tower it is!”
“Couples or blonds vs brunets” Leo asks the child.
Katie thinks for a second, grins, and then tugs Nico over to Leo.
“Then it's settled!”
Per camp rules, the youngest gets to count down the start of the race. Katie does so with her fingers, the second she gets to zero Leo scoops her up under his arm like a sack of potatoes and sprints off down the tunnel to the right, Nico hot on his heels. Will can hear his kid’s giggle through the dried plants as she’s sped off.
“Oh we're totally losing this aren't we,” Jason asks.
“Yep” Will confirms, and they both set off to the left.
“I gotta ask” Jason starts as they wander through the half-dead corn “How are you three doing?”
“Good, I mean” They take a turn to the right past a quaint little scarecrow, Will putting his hands in his hoodie pockets against the breeze punching through the leaves “You’re probably hearing it all from Nico”
“Yeah but I wanna hear it from you”
“It’s pretty awesome,” Will can’t help but smile remembering the little patter of bare feet inbound for a hug every time he unlocks the door at the end of the day “I wish I was home more, but we knew that was going to be a thing from the beginning. I can’t deny that coming home to a full house doesn’t make my day”
Jason grins at that “She has a way of lighting up the room doesn’t she”
“She really does” Will agrees “and she’s already doing loads better. I’m really proud of how well she’s done today”
“Yeah Leo did good finding this place”
“He totally did. We just want to wait a little longer until we take the next steps, I want her a little more back on her feet before she makes a big decision”
“Hm?”
“We want to ask her if she wants to be adopted,” Will says “It's really her choice, she might still have other family out there”
“But you want to adopt her?”
“Gods yes,” Will says tipping his head back “More than anything, we should have done it from the jump”
“You should have” Jason agrees matter a fact, but he's already bitten Nico’s head off about this “But she's here now”
“She is” Will looks both ways at a fork as Jason sniffs the air, both deciding left at the same time “She always felt so right”
“What are you gonna do if she still has family out there”
“I mean we're looking” because they are, because it matters “Nico has feelers out on the dead end, but it's been no luck so far. She deserves that opportunity”
“And if you find her family?”
“Then we take it from there” Will shrugs. He doesn't want to give Katie up, but everything he's been reading about adoption says that kids do best with their family of origin, or even just keeping bio family in their life. Will and his husband are ready to do whatever they need to do for their kid.
They lose the race, getting to the tower finish line a bit after the other half of their group. Nico is holding Katie in a front carry, looking like an adorable mix of tickled pink and hating life. Leo on the other hand is laughing so hard he's bent at the waist with a hand braised on the wooden structure to keep himself upright as he wracked with mirth.
“What happened?” Will asks
“Katie called me ‘dad’-” Nico starts.
“No!” Leo interjects as he catches his breath “ Chiquita what did you call him?!”
“Papi!” the kid declares, a quiet chirp and so so proud of herself, turning to look at Will in his husband's arms with a big smile.
Nico groans but doesn't correct their kid, pointing his face to the sky in a proud ‘why me?’. Will can't help but melt at the sight.
“Aw,” he coos “is Nico your dad?”
Katie frowns at Will like he's stupid and shakes her head no. “Papi” she insists, quiet but firm. Then the whole world changes as she points to Will next and declares “Dad”
Will points to himself “I'm Dad?” Katie nods yes enthusiastically, he can feel the smile that's splitting his face as he chokes out “I can be Dad”
Katie smiles impossibly wider and reaches for him, and who is Will but to take his kid out of his husband's arms and hug her close.
“Are you crying” Leo bullies
“No” Will sniffles wetly, then sneezes because of the lie. Katie startles at the sneeze, looks at Will like he's gross (fair), and squirms to get put down.
“I think your adoption talk is going to go well,” Jason tells him as his kid toddles off to torment Leo, clapping him on the shoulder. 
Will grins and wipes at his eyes “I think so too”
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Notes:
How ‘Papi’ actually happened
Nico and Leo are discussing different words that are the same in both Spanish and Italian (Katie is pointing at things to demand their names in both languages)
Leo AuADHD no filter ping pong ass brain Valdez: lol it's so funny that ‘Papi’ is a word for dad in both languages
Katie (pointing at Nico): Papi
Nico: 🥲
I have also settled on what the Katie Stare actually is. She has always been able to see and manipulate things that take the form of ‘fibers’, breaking down make-ups and patterns they hold in her mind (a legacy gift). So technically she pinging into the neuro pathways in the brain and getting what is a basic ‘vibe read’. If you asked her what she was doing she would only be able to describe it as a ‘vibe check’. It's not super strong, Will’s a better lie detector with just his allergies, and she has to focus to use it but it gets the job done. I like the idea that a lot of powers are not always understood on the scientific side because of how demigod culture is under-researched with all the dying and all, but there are technicalities to gifts if people decide to study them.
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nvrendngstry · 15 hours ago
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The question made Hyunjin chuckle softly; it was something he had been asked more times than he could count. "As much as people like to think it's pure talent that I was born with, it's not. I began drawing when I was a child, and I was terrible." He put emphasis on the word with a slight widening of his eyes. "It's just years of consistent practice and dedication." Albeit the tiny bit of time spent at university could have contributed, but he didn't want to give those classes much credit; he was doing just fine without them, and he felt like he hadn't learned much anyway.
His eyebrows rose; he hadn't planned the rest of his day. All he had on his schedule was getting in some practice, and that had taken much longer than he had expected. It was already so late in the day that a meal could be considered dinner, which meant he had been drawing for hours while drinking the same cup of coffee he brought from home --no wonder it was so cold and now disgusting.
"I didn't think about what I was going to do next, but dinner isn't a bad idea." He could go for something to eat. When was the last time he actually ate anyway? Not at breakfast, and especially not at lunch since he lost track of time. "You don't have to pay for me, though. I'm sure I can afford it."
Starter for → @natsukosmxsez
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Hyunjin’s hand wrapped around his travel coffee mug, briefly bringing it to his lips as he took a slow drink. The warm bitter taste caused him to make a face, his head shaking just slightly before the cup was placed on the ground next to himself. He glanced around at his surroundings; there weren’t as many people as he had hoped today, but what did expect when he was sitting outside of a random shop on a suspiciously cloudy day? The plan for the day was supposed to be simple: get some drawing practice in, and what better way to do that than to draw from real life? Except the buildings didn’t call out to him and the trees were basically bare and uninteresting.
Resting against his bent knees was a battered sketchbook, its pages frayed and bent at the corners to indicate which drawings he wanted to go back to but never did. He needed a subject; a person to catch his eye and inspire something in him. An interesting choice of fashion, a striking facial feature, anything that could grab his attention. There was a singular person his eyes kept drifting back to as he glanced around nonchalantly. He supposed whoever he was could be his subject; at least he was drawing something instead of returning home with an empty page.
His hand made quick work on the white page of the book. To anyone watching, it would look messy at first while he roughly boxed in the shapes making up the man’s head and body. Hyunjin’s eyes kept looking back and forth between the man and his sketchbook while trying not to gain his attention. He never really knew if his subjects could feel his eyes on them while he silently drew them, and he also didn’t know if they’d find him strange
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cherryfennec · 4 months ago
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Summer Times
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Hi! I'm finally back from my two week abroad trip!
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artilite · 5 months ago
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some sopping wet napkins <333
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bacchuschucklefuck · 5 months ago
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pygmalion and galatea for aroace people
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you should tell your friends what I look like, riz gukgak.
#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#riz gukgak#baron from the baronies#fh class quangle#class swap babeyy! bard!riz that's whats goin on!#I really need tags for these now I think lmao#ask to tag#I feel like this should be tagged something. but I dont know what#in my brain after the initial kidnapping class swap baron's thing is every time riz keeps his story abt them up in front of his friends#they get a little bit closer. they send him pictures of where they supposedly are n stuff#theres a scene in my brain only of kristen and riz on top of the van and kristen is like everything kinda sucks rn can u tell me abt baron#cause what you guys have is so nice and beautiful. and riz almost doesn't but he ultimately can't deny kristen a little peace#lmao I feel like dipping into baron stuff with the class swap is like showing my whole ass online again I just. I'm a#horror person before all else... I cant stop myself. canon baron is Great and Cool but that is kind of the thing. for a horror thing theyre#Too Cool. I think cool is kind of the neutralizer of scary. when a monster is a certain amount of cool it overrides the scary#and now u just have a Cool Monster#its so fucked for bard!riz this year bc he doesn't have an office (he's mooching off the school wifi from the AV club room lol)#so there's no buffer between adventure and home life. so baron just shows up in the strongtower apartment lmao#sophomore year bard!riz looks like a slasher protag so I just leaned into it I guess. he gets a mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon kennedy#well. its worse actually. they can show up where he is at any moment theyve proven this. but they dont#they choose to punish him slowly as he lies to his friends instead. baron is mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon and also a bitch#I think its gonna pop up if class swap baron ever speaks in a comic I do but their voice comes from like. inside their hollow face#it sounds like it's a lot deeper in there than that skull should be#tbh what I have rn is kinda like a bag of loose pieces that Can fit together into something great but I dont have the energy to#really sit down with them yet lol. Im doing this inbetween other things#it comes or it doesn't! it's fine. funny how today's bad comic day also. I wont say this is for bad comic day bc all my comics are#flawless and beautiful and perfect and awesome and beautiful and the best#but u should. if u havent drawn a comic today or at all ever u should draw a comic
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