#but that's ok. bc we still had fun
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be honest everyone. am i cooked
like my art? commission me on ko-fi!
#martzipan#nagito komaeda#sdr2#making myself unemployable one komaeda fanart at a time#no excuse for this one i just. wanted to put him in a maid dress. and to draw a bunch of frills#who's he glaring at? up to viewer interpretation :3#also WAAAUUUGGHH this pose was so harddd. i wanted to REALLY foreshorten but i couldn't figure it out#so i had to tone it down. bc i couldn't find a reference either#but that's ok. bc we still had fun#this was another one of those things that i didn't plan on fully rendering. and then. welp !#anywho. i think i'm addicted to playing komaeda dress-up
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college … wasted on the youth (me)
#didnt help that 2/4 yrs was covid telezoom but man.. MANNN#forgetting how impossible it is to pursue rhe degree plan u actually want (advising hell) i feel like . theres just#so many diff things i want to learn now Knowing that im more solidified in my interests and who i am and what i would be interested in doing#and like.😭RGAAAAAQH TEARING MYHAIR OUTTT every other week i have a night where im sititng there like damn i couldve been sm1 completely dif#dgmw i still rly enjoy some of the upper div classes i Did take but what if i took x and liked it more or minored in y and it led me to z#bc i do feel rly set in where i am rn which . i DO ! like it but im never gna be in that environment where u have the flexibility to explore#ykwim . i wish i had taken physics and calc srsly . i always thought i hated that shit but i like it. i like it quite a lot actually😟#or more geology .. urrghh.. sprinkle in sme extra art history . no bc thats what actu pissed me off ab school#i rmbr wanting to dual major and they straight up told me no i cant . but then i was like maybe an arts major bio minor when i wanted to do#science illustration but sry we dont offer bio minor . ok bio major arh or studio art minor . no sry not enough open spots we rly only#reserve it for when we have extra openings post admission❤️#and then even late into sophomore year u would still be last in registration so all the cool classes would be closed#and then bc of covid half that shit was cancelled bc they couldnt transfer labs online (rip comparative vertebrate anatomy)#and then by senior yr an additional collection of classes were unavailable bc u dont have the prereqs bc the prereqs were cancelled during#covid and u dont have enough semesters left to actually take it . like it was gen such an awful experience so ik why i couldnt ever do what#i wanted but .😭 AND LIKE the classes i DID enjoy like genomics or molecular genetics were closed by registration and i had to email and beg#for access . thts crazy .literally crazy .#anyways . i think i want 2 start reading textbooks bc i think thats the closest ill get LMAOO#i remember seeing my coworker read a textbook for fun one time and idk why i just didnt understand why bc it seemed so dry but i Get it now#like yeah .. u knew what was up ..#sad too that like . i could theoretically audit a course but i Work..during the day .. so sad . so sad#guys wht if i just said yes to grad school (<the devil talking.dont agree)
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lots of doodles because i forget to post art here most of the time
#lila art#genshin#clorinde#shenhe#kokomi#not tagging arlecchino because that does Not count as an arlecchino drawing LMFAO#He Knows Many Things.#dunmeshi#falin touden#laios touden#sorry that that siblings drawing is so blurry im too lazy to retake it#it has the lyrics to the siblings song below it bc i got it stuck in my head while drawing them#siblings! siblings! siblings! siblings! this is my sister! this is my brother! we are siblings and we care for each other! what we have! we#always share! cuz we are siblings and we have the same hair!!! dun dundun dun dun dun dun dun dundundundundun dun dun dundundun#im actually. rlly proud of those falin drawings on top#and also the clorinde one but i just drew that an hr ago so im probably going to come back to it tmrw and realize its super wonky but wtv#also the kokomi was a request from twt!!!!!#i have. a lot of those to do still#i will do them at some point i just dont have free time a lot#this is the first time ive had to draw in like two weeks i think#and my friends birthday passed and i promised to draw him hkvh so thats my priority#the clorinde was just supposed to be a warmuo#except he called me while i was drawing and we ended up playing sdv#so it was a warmup to nothing#anyway i had fun and i need to go to bed now bye#ALSO i forgot to mention that those shenhe perspectives are meant to look ugly i was trying to draw those perspectives from memory#because i was. in class.#the top down perspective is kindof cute tbh but the Other One.#its ok i love making my faves look dumb and uncomfortable on purpose
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....why are the youtube comments so mad lol don't y'all like to have fun. don't we like to have fun here
#ari speaks#half of them are 'wahhh this is what happens when you make games WOKE' like. baby. shhhh. it's not dark fantasy enough for you???#like we are allowed to have varied opinions but also idk. dragon age has always had moments of being a lil silly. especially inquisition.#titsicles???? the nug king???? i'm attacking your holdfast with a goat????? cmon now.#we DO get a little silly here and i'm really not opposed to (well-placed) tonal irreverence in a world about to end.#bitch the world we are CURRENTLY living in is falling apart and i am also being a silly fucking guy because it's all i got.#if i lived in thedas irl i'd be in taverns getting tomatoes thrown at me for bad stand-up about kirkwall HAVE SOME FUN LIVE A LITTLE.#also bc it's been so long one has to imagine that they're also trying to grab some new fans here so it does not surprise me#that the trailer is not 'Boo Hoo Sad Times Dark Fantasy Game No. 49' (i say as an enjoyer of depressing dark fantasy)#esp when all of the prior promotional material has been very doom and gloom.#i don't think that just because the game is being marketed like this/that we're switching focus from solas that the game will be#sanitized and not dealing with any kind of fucked up lore and shit. i am holding out hope that we're going to get some cool opportunities#to play in a space that is def dark but can still give room to breathe.#anyway i do not actually giv a fuck (genuine not insulting) if the trailer did not make u excited das ok.#unless you're complaining that it's woke garbage now/so bad because g*ider is uninvolved. if thats the case you may fuck off.#sorry for the tag essay!
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one of these days i need the full story of your dnd mishap
😭😭😭 please
the short story is our party had three people (2 players + DM) who thought we were playing a fun friendly magical campaign and two people who wanted to recreate a critical role campaign amongst themselves...i think if youre familiar w cr you might immediately see the issue there.
long story is people put WAY way too much personal shit into their characters and almost immediately started taking the actions of characters as genuine irl slights and like. two sessions in had already lost sight of the difference between the pc and the player.
oh shit this got really long im sorry i dont think you care This much but i havent thought about it in a while and it bewilders me every time-
SO i was playing a cunty rogue and had TOLD everyone 'hey she is probably gonna clash w the party at first, but she'll warm up to everyone really fast, so dont worry about that' like it was clearly in the spirit of building a realistic character who had her own hangups etc. which i assumed the others would understand bc they'd done the same. plus is it not boring and unreal asf if a bunch of strangers meet after a murder of someone close to them and all just get along immediately w no suspicions or secrecy? cmon man.
and yet. the two cr-people got really weird about my pirate character stealing (???) and sincerely pulled the dm aside to express their concerns about the 'level of violence being enacted' and asked that we all try to be aware of what class of people we did crimes against. like. they wanted me to stop stealing from the 99% and ask everyone if they were rich before i picked their pocket ig. ALL THE WHILE. ONE OF THE OFFENDING PCS WAS IN THE MAFIA?????? LIKE. DIRECTLY EMBEDDED IN THE MAFIA THAT RAN THE TOWN.
i suppose that pc was off the hook bc he did possess the elf cock that the other guy wanted so bad, so. love won. i guess.
anyway they ended up taking hours out of our sessions to just dialogue-rp about slowly falling in love in a complex way or something. except then the non-elf player was like 'actually, dm, can you give me a love interest npc i need to add more depth to my character.' or smth, to which our dm lovingly crafted a beautiful working class hero of a guy. which the pc proceeded to hard reject. what was the point of any of this? we may never know<3
need to be clear as well this was all happening over discord bc we all live in different timezones, my very close friend was up at 2AM for this bullshit every week. AND he didnt even KNOW these other people very well, but suddenly theyre finding fault w not just his character but him as a PERSON? i just rmrd they accused him of like.....negatively influencing me??? like. MORALLY???? brother we have been friends for 10 years you are nothing to us you dont know us like that lol.
but they did REALLY really hate my character, which eventually made me feel like shit all the time bc like. obviously im putting work into her, its a creative construction and to have it railed against that badly is not fun. so i said ok you know what, ill just make a new character, hopefully thatll keep the peace and we can salvage this.
so i pitch a new character and oh they LOVE her. they fucking love her concept. which was so.........the first character was a lot easier for me to play bc she was a little more like me, and this character was specifically the opposite....how am i meant to take that reaction, yknow
which also reminds me: the original pirate rogue i played was a tiefling (yeah yeah gay stereotype i know. im not subtle or original, whatever) and there was a complaint (made only half-jokingly, ykwim) that she was too white.
shes not even HUMAN what the fuck do you mean shes too WHITE. IM not white that should imbue any character i create w an inherent not-whiteness. but even still, again, she is half sea creature. shes not. human. to be assigned a race like that....hello??
anyway so these two cr-rp players eventually blocked me and my friend on tumblr without saying anything, and got confused when we found out and said 'yeah ok we dont wanna play dnd with some guy who has blocked us on other social media' as if WE were the weirdos. like they saw no problem w continuing this disastrous campaign as long as they got their mandatory monologue time.
the worst part is my dm made SUCH a stunning campaign and world and it was so so so fun outside of this mess, i still feel really bad they never got to realise the world fully. plus my character had a sickass backstory thing where she was like. slowly unlocking latent magic the longer she spent underwater bc her demon parent was abyssal and stuff. which is whatever but the sick part is she was developing SCALES and maybe GILLS. in like a nasty gorey way it was gonna be so cool. but noooo lets talk about strange morality and your lameass god for 1.5 hrs. at 11pm on a friday.
#ask#anonymous#sorry i will just never be over this#im a super evolved mellow person now but i will never ever ever forgive or forget this shit#im not even covering half of it i dont think and i def dont think this is coherent#but its fun to rant like a lunatic sometimes#anyway nyx you will always be famous baby!! they could never make me hate you!!! wild magic sorcerer cuntress<3#also to be so fair. i came into it w a bit of a bias against one of the pcs bc i hate warlocks fredhjcnkdsc#UNLESS youre doing smth funny w them idgaf about a warlock boo hoo you had to buy your magic. loser#but whatever it was a fucking mess. and i was still a people pleaser back then so i really tried hard to make my pc fit and be liked#which was lame in hindsight she should have torn them apart gfhdvjncx#edit: oh and the dmpc lay down after a meal at a campfire while we were travelling and i as an annoying ass player said#'dm your npc is going to get reflux if she lies down right after a meal' and my dm said 'can you shut up for 5 seconds ever?' and i said#'ok but if she is too sick to fight later dont blame me!' and the dm rolled for reflux#guess what happened to the npc.
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i miss her…
#cant believe i forgot about her till the photobook q&a im so sorry witch mona~~~~~~~#press f for honeypre atelier gachas it was gone too soon™️#(currently e x t r e m e l y worried and stressed for tomorrow like never before b u t i have to appear like im fine sobs save me monachann)#(can i go on a stress-prompted tangent here about something inane? no? toooo bad im gonna go off anyway~~~~)#ok so. like. since witch mona is the image i have up ‘ere and since it’s still 七月… today’s tangent will be on irl spooky stories!!#s o. presenting a decently repressed memory from my childhood that resurfaced while i was hibernating at home:#anyways. well. thoughts about the afterlife can vary from person to person yes? there’s no one true correct belief after all#but the one question that unites us all is probably the one and only ‘are ghosts real?’#and well. for personal reasons i think so. i mean i’ve seen this one dude i hate get possessed a couple of times so welp. cant deny it ig.#wild story about that actually. back in the day my family’s finances were allegedly doing so badly that [dude i hate] had to pick up#a *c e r t a i n* side hustle for extra cash. that side hustle? literal grave digging at the cemetary. at night no less#and *ofc* he wasn’t respectful about it in the least so ofc some spirits followed him home. yay. free roommates.#one(?) of them even took residence in my room at the time and im 80% sure they ate my history textbook :( much sads#anyways well once that guy had too much to drink (which was rather often tbh) he’d get possessed. fun!#the only possession i ever saw was the n-rarity angry ghost who’d just huff and puff in silence with unfocused eyes most of the time#he’d occasionally put on a leather jacket too. but that was like a r-rarity event that didn’t happen that often#my mother had the chance to also witness the mosquito (who tried to barge into my room for fresh blood) and the 姑娘 (self-explanatory)#which is kinda unfair tbh. i wanted to see the ur-rarity ones too :( mostly bc it’d be funny to see a guy i hate act ooc (impure intentions)#oh right. how did we get the dude out of his possession? we just shook his arm really hard. prolly caused some lasting effects but who know#i think he could also just sleep off the possession but idk i was asleep for the ur-rarity incidents.#cant ask the one witness of it bc i dont want to bring back unnecessary flashbacks of [guy we hate]#anyways it’s been years since we moved out from that place and i still want my history textbook back. mostly for the principle of it but—#and so that’s the tangent of the day. i feel weirdly less stressed now thanks witch mona#i do wonder how my grandparents are faring on this 七月 though…#b u t !!!!! tomorrow’s date on the lunar calendar says it’s an auspicious day for wishful activity and starting a new job!!! so… maybe~~~~?#hauauauauauauauuauaaaaaa anyways insane tangent over stream mona’s new album ok bye#oops forgor to disable rbs i hate how easy it is to forget to use this function man
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ok sitting down for a moment at disneyland. elaborating on the post-beat concert shenanigans in the tags
#for those of you invested in my silly misadventures#ok so .#there was the meet n greet earlier which as i said was short but very nice and i was squimshed against ade for the photo#AFTER THE SHOW . go around the concert venue to the area by the stage door#but unlike the beacon theatre we were a long ways away from the stage door it was the huge parking lot and we were fenced off#and based off of the spars concert from last year at the beacon where the guys just left after we waited for almost an hour#i didnt really expect the beat guys would come over or anything but i was willing to wait a while#and wait a while we did and then danny carey came out and eventually came over to us and was really sweet and signed stuff#he wasnt taking any photos but was very nice just like the epitome of fun drummer guy#waited a while more. doubting still that the other guys would come over#next was adrian! and being the absolute sweetie he is he did come over and everything abt him is true#hes just the most wondrous sweet guy ever. he was also radiating comforting dad energy bc that annoying prog fan was there again#and ade was kind of like nicely protective where i was w my friend#ade also liked my inner revolution shirt and remembered me from the meet n greet :)#waited a while more and then eventually steve vai came out and well im sorry what can i say . i was 😵💫#it didnt help that when he signed my poster (as the other guys had before him) that like. his hand was resting on my hand god anyway#im sorry. old men musicians are my number one weakness as anyone whos been following me knows#oh i had gotten a blurry photo w ade and then got a flash photo w steve. its horrifying <3#we waited like an hour more for tony who was on a long ass phone call#but very nicely he came over too and somehow the photo w him turned out nicest. hes such a sweet polite guy#he also sounds like ron mael kinda lol#and thats my adventure!#and now ive spent an obscene amount to see em again. god
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Sort of a ramble, sort of me just writing my thoughts out while I'm stuck with writer's block, but I keep thinking about how Fulcrum was in stasis for roughly 3 million years??
Like, that's a long time, even for Cybertronians. Not a really long time, not an entire lifespan. But still, it's a large chunk of a normal lifespan just gone. Poof.
One second you're crawling across the pockmarked terrain of an alien planet, surrounded by the sound of gunfire, and the shouting and screaming before and after each earth shuddering impact of another k-con hitting the ground. And then it's quiet. You're not there anymore. You're drifting somewhere between not alive and just asleep. Preserved somewhere in the background of a doomed body, ignored by time and space, still here, but also not.
And then there's sound. Not gunfire. Not shouting or screaming. Not the sounds that'll haunt you till your dying days, your own death sentence pounding in your head. No. Just voices, talking, standing out against a silent, dead world. Wondering. Joking. Bickering. Familiar. Just, not familiar to you. And you're awake. Pulled back from the nothingness you've been frozen in, consciousness tugged forwards with the yank of a fuel pump and the nearness of life.
These two moments are roughly 3 million years apart, but only minutes, maybe even seconds, to him. From a hectic harrowing battlefield, to an old silent graveyard in one blink.
How long did it take to really sink in? I mean, he seems to just roll with it. He doesn't seem particularly bothered. But like, what happened outside of what we see? How did he really feel?
Also, his body aged without him. While his mind preserved itself, freezing him as he was right then, his body was left to weather Clemency for all those years. No wonder it crumbled to dust when he jumped off the world sweeper. It's probably a miracle of some kind that it didn't just fall apart each time someone leaned on him.
And even after they rebuild him, give him a better, newer body. His spark, it's casing, all the irreplaceable core bits that make up their inner bodies, it aged in the time without him. Does he feel it? Does it make his body even more foreign to him?
Then he's also a technician with information that's 3 million years out of date. Lucky him that the scavengers probably weren't working with top of the line material. But still it's gotta be weird when faced with anything brand new, because a lot can change and progress in 3 million years, and now some of the knowledge he once prided himself in is obsolete.
Besides those things, his view of the galaxy, of the war, of their kind, of other kinds, is one of the few things actually pointed out when it comes to him being stuck in the past. So, how often were his old views challenged? Facts of life he held close proved to no longer true? There's 3 million years worth of new science, new beliefs, new words, new terms, new views.
And sure, some of it can be familiar, because they're an ever evolving kind, and they have patterns, core beliefs, repeating behaviors, but a lot of it's gonna be unfamiliar at the same time, because it's 3 million years worth of catch up, it's not like missing last week's trend.
In a way, it makes him a living relic of a bygone era for Decepticons. It would've been really interesting to have had that explored a little more.
#rq i wanna say i love seeing others thoughts on these if you have them. esp those that have thought about it longer than i lol#like. im still just starting to sink my teeth into the lore and put things together. so your thoughts are much appreciated#sometimes i wish that i could turn these rambles into those really well worded. slightly pretentious. but in a fun way. character metas?#but i dont think i can organize my thoughts that well. so. rambles it is lol#not to say rambling is lesser or smth tho. i love a good ramble. love to read them. i support ramblers#speaking of rambling-#idk why it fascinates me so. but theres just something rlly interesting about fulcrum being somewhat stuck in the past#i think it could've played interestingly into his and kroks dynamic had it been explored more?#like. the past and history play big parts in their lives. krok having studied it. and fulcrum having been fast forwarded thru it#it would've been interesting to see them talk more about it? since logically fulcrum wouldve gone to krok for more of the 3mill year rundow#and its like. krok is shown to be really knowledgeable on not only history. but cultures as well. theres and others.#so certain eras of their own culture would probably be a slight interest of his. esp decepticon ones.#and then theres fulcrum. who pretty much got plucked from the empire era only to land in kroks lap (metaphorically) ((...unless?))#so heres this walking talking piece of history. and a dude that has a sort of passion for history. why not explore it more?#and like. yeah. the ''history'' krok has studied is all mostly shit he lived through. but people study the times they lived through-#-because while they may have lived through it. theirs is only one perspective. a good historian takes into account multiple perspectives#idk where i'm going with this now. smth smth fulcrum relying on krok for future stuff and krok having someone to talk history stuff with#i just. augh. i wanna know what their dynamic is more. what we see in the comics is so back and forth at times#like. they seem to hit it off pretty well. but then fulcrum fucks it up ig by being oblivious and a little too ''i can fix him'' vibey#and his taste in comedy is bad. to say the least. which is apparently grounds for messy divorce#also krok is sometimes cool with selling a whole dude. at least when the dude is their befriended giant killer autobot buddy :/#that is also grounds for divorce. obviously#sorry. this is derailing the more i start thinking about how messy fulkrok could be. like. ough <3#they're a little ''i hate my wife'' coded. but in a greater scav codependent poly way. and it's more krok being annoyed with fulcrum#its like. fulcrum: ''i can fix him bcs i need to feel validated'' vs krok: ''wtf is wrong with this guy?! who does he think he is??''#i think they'd want to pick each other apart intellectually. maybe emotionally. smth smth two officers. both disgraced. and power dynamics#its fun. they're both hypocrites. they'd need couples therapy. its also 4am. shit. ok goodnight
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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ok not that i think more than maybe 5 people r paying attention or know what this is but for funsies help me decide KJFDSKLF
[family tree/summaries for ref]
[EDIT UHHH KEITH POST? KEITH EXPLANATION POST?]
*there are three characters from that chart that are NOT options bc they arent characters i made, they're the three my friend made :]
#sorry half of their names are basically ship names LOL that was the joke at first#just like oh a ship kid with a name that's basically the ship name but slightly different#bc they werent really 'serious' ocs or anything it was just for funsies scenarios#we did draw them together a few times tho it was fun#anyway i already know which one i would most likely pick if i had to pick one im just goofing#i still might not end up doing any but. i like an excuse to make polls it's fun DSFKLDSJF#um ok bye
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House MD, my beloved 🖤
#way back in lile 2014. i found out my mom had cancer in the middle of watching house md#idk but thats really funny to me. i think bc my dad made me pase the episode. we had the conversation. and then i was like ok well#id like to go back to watching thr cancer show now if were done sitting in awkward silence now. which is like a goblin thing to do#but like it wasnt a huge shock bc we knew she had a tumor and all that and i didnt understand how to relate to ppl as well back then#but yea did not stop me watching house for even 2 seconds. and almost 10 years later my mom is still getting cancer treatment#booo. fuck that 👎👎👎#idk the amount of anxiety in my body today has been unhinged and i thought. what will make me feel better?#the medical malpractice show. and i was right lol#its fun to watch him solve the problems and i love wilson#unrelated
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Thing about small italian villages is that the didnt really have roads up until the 70's which of course leads to a massive amount of cousin marriage and inbreeding and while yes my particular own has its issues regarding that (3 major families (one of whom i am part of!!! Yay!!!) that all of the other families are related to, everyone there has bone/joint problems or some sort of schizofrenia) the neighboring one is worse as in they have one major family and the rest of the inhabitants are ppl who immigrated to have a quiet life in the mountain slopes and that by itself could be an extremely interesting study bcs everyone there kinda looks the same-ish and has a frankly insane amount of people with developmental disabilities for a population this small
#ok now that i have typed it out i realized it sounds mean and i want to earnestly say that i am not mocking them i just suck at tone#i do not think its something to be laughed at i just think the whole thing is uh. i wouldnt say tragic but really no one's fault#bcs again. if you live in the mountains where the main city is hard to reach bcs of poor road conditions#which leads to isolation and also extreme stigma against the village folk *of course* the village#will become more secluded and incestuous marriages will happen (aside from the obv economical factor#that a pre industrial reality would entrail)#its just. fascinating on a sociological and genetical level. esp since by when the roads were functional#and the village folk stigma had already gone away the whole 'we stay here we stay together we are better than anyone bcs they are envious#of us and we will continue inbreeding and any kids with severe disabilities born from it are actually Blessed because they are born from us#has already taken so much root it is now unlikely to be eradicated . the nature of italian villages is that every once in a while#someone reinvents blood purity and eugenetics lmao#anyways this whole incest thing is also the reason why i get frustrated about those books that have#the main characters go into small bigoted villages and either finding peace there or be horrified by its conservatives ideas#while never digging on the *why*. like yeah all this 'what happens in the village stays in the village and everyone else is an enemy'#but they never dig into why that mentality was born to begin with and how incest there#actively helps this mentality to continue on like you legit still have grandmas telling you to marry ur cousin#anw. i dont know what i was going for w this rant. it originated from knowing that my aunt turned local saint#was actually schizophrenic and was prone to paranoid attacks and mental breakdowns similar to mine#fun stuff!
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Listening to coinstar by the growlers and thinking about mel so hard I get nauseous
Ridiculous stream of conscious in the tags apologies but not really
#it speaks#white woman moment#its really funny bc like. its very much a her to jfk song#(everyones favorite problematic short king)#but she looks at him with uhhh#like heres this kid(hes 28) standing on the precipice o what she had been all those years ago#but he KNOWS it she didnt know she thought she had mold poisoning from her shitty apartment until she died#and she is projecting so much onto him. which is part of why she doesn't respect him at all#'im a sucker just like you'#its also funny bc like. it is Too Late for Phoenix.also its scary that theyre hungry bc as far as she knows death avatars arent supposed 2 b#but also theyre the first one shes met. and Phoenix is kind of just scary in general.#but being around those two is like. almost flashbacky(jfk also reminds her alot of her ex aroun that age tho audreys dad was Worse)#(she never met him but heard enough stories about the guy and i mean. he fed her to the hunt on purpose.#i dont think jorges dad wanted what was going to happen to happen)#part of why she texted her so fast tbh. not that they hadnt talked at all since the divorce.#i thinj they talked. not alot bc mel WAS in europe and international data rates pre smartphone age oof ouch#and also like. they did irrevocably harm eachother physically and mentally but they do both careeeeee#tho. i do not think melissa wouldve ever dropped everything to go help audrey like audrey would and did for her.#(girl who runs away from her problems x girl who is a dog)#auuughhhhhh#she really is my chew toy.#i also think alot about her sky mafia years but those r fun and sexy little secrets for me#as much as i love Basil's motw campaign i do with it was easier to unentangle her from tma lore.#bc like. normal vampire works well but it loses so much of the flavor. various sea beasts keep the flavor but loose the morality.#for pathfinder if i were to redo her id go with storm oracle and then spec into kineticist. which does work Ok I Guess.#but like. even that its still not what i want#one scene that probably would've never happened in game but i thought ahout if we ever went back to the item storage or maybe a wierd thrift#shop or something was to like. have her come across a violin and pick it up and make it scream horribly. like. really concentrate on making#it make the worst noise imaginable. shes trying to reach that wonderful horrible music avatars mention alot in the earlier seasons#and then realizes everyone else Hates That So Much and jokingly play one of the devil's riffs from tdwdg. tbh i should finally draw that
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cancel culture is one of society’s worst downfalls because it just does such a good job of labeling moments of ignorance as actual bigotry and people who willingly try to learn and be better will be dragged mercilessly while the actual racist and misogynistic and abusive people who show us time and time again that they have not changed and will never care to change still have careers
#it blows my mind jeffree star still has a career. btw fun fact i’m deeply invested in all youtube beauty channel drama i think it’s so fun#but#the mascara girl wears fake lashes in an ad#and suddenly she’s a lying scumbag u cannot trust and her reviews should be deleted#she takes advantage of her following >:(#so therefore jeffree star who has had a clear racist past#is excusable. why ?? bc he’s brutally honest with his makeup reviews#wow#nice#y’all make me sick#and not to be that person but i will always be that person:#most of the ppl in those comments like ‘this why we gotta bring back jeffree’#most of them are white and i am not shocked in the slightest#watch who u wanna watch that’s ur business bbygirl i won’t tell u what to do there#but we got some issues when ur openly commenting that someone who’s had such a history of being an issue regarding topics that actually#matter should come back bc he was an icon who gave us real content#okkkkkkk#ok.#side eyeeeeee
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i have to wait an extra week and a half to wathc dm4 than the us I HATE IT HERE HELL COUNTRY
#its fridayyyyy tho so depending on my shift i can either watch it that day or the next :]#the reviews atm r very middling but so are the reviews for the firat 2 which IMO r divine works of art#IM SCAREDDDD TBH i think most likely i will come away annoyed. the trailer isnt giving me crazyyyy high hopes butttt#it cld surprise me.#i find it strange that theyre kinda mixing the gadgets part of minions 1 w the transformation part of both dm2 and rog. gimmick alerta#i havemt gone out of my way to look at promos etc bc i end up spoiling myself but i like the new girl thats w gru in the honey badger scene#with the cat. VERY CUTE#the villains look fun too. always glad to have more gay freak villains (SERIOUS)#balthazar u wereeeee the blueprint. WAIT NO SORRY. scarlet and herb.#whatever man rog was kinda mid and still had me jumping up and down and giggling kicking my feet#tbfh i like illuminations animation BUTTTT i think it can be a little bit much for gru at times now. noticed this in 3#they make him a little tooooo goofy for my personal tastes. but its whatever#hopefully nefario comes back from the war 💔 missed him#unfortunately suffering from the sequel disease where they keep having to sideline old characters to make way for new ones#massively noticed in 3.#also side note but i still wish nefario had more of a role in rog….. thr found family cld have been insane#i remember seeing bts stuff mentioning him being like. in place of wk which i wishhhh was the case. no hate to wk but i feel his plot becam#pointless the second they pussied out of his death#tsk….. what could have been.#whatever we still got kill bill minions its ok
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The issue in my class is that none of us are willing to just be like ohhh well ill just do the bare minimum even if others are putting in effort so then we all end up with these stupid over-done projects for no reason. This needs to stop so its actually a public service for me to just halfass shit
#barking#we had an assignment where we needed to sew a totebag and literally noone is doing a totebag#everyone came up with these ridiculous projects thatll take at least 6 hours to finish#and like im doing ok with it but there are people in class who never even sewn a pillowcase 😭 and theyre doing round leatger handbags#*leather#and its bc everyone was like. well i dont wanna have a boring one if everyones doing fun ones...#girl this was an exercise for you to learn what seam allowance is... and you still dont know...
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