#but that’s just convinced me that he has to be an alien or something that’s using us to learn about human kind
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→ Honourable Lies.
gif credit.
Pairing: Kyōraku Shunsui x Wife!reader.
Rating: Mature.
Warnings: Angst, couple fighting...
Word Count: 850.
Summary: You find about the very thing Shunsui doesn't want you to know about.
“How dare you!”
You catch your husband in the grand library of the First Squad quarters. His back is hunched forward, head bending over the book he's reading.
While you're simmering with anger, he lets out an elongated sigh that's weighed with burden. You can see that as Shunsui glances over at you from his spot. You almost feel bad for him. Well, you do. But after you heard from a reliable source what's been on the table with Central 46 and him, rage soused in your body. You didn't want to believe, but here he is, not saying a single word to deny it.
“So you have heard…” Shunsui says, raising his head up from the book, casting his away for a moment, “Words do travel fast from Central 46. Beats me.”
“Is it true?” Your voice weakens in implorement. Just say no, please, you think. But when he doesn't answer you push it, “Shun, please, tell me it's not true.”
He sighs again, he spent the past hours contemplating over how he should deliver you the news. Although he saw this coming, he couldn't conceal the waver in his tone, “I’m sorry, sweetheart. It is true.”
The sight of tears well up in your eyes stabs him in his chest. With a blink of an eye, you feel his warmth enshrouds you, his large arms encircle you into his hold, and you lean into his chest out of habit.
“He killed my father, Shun…” You sniffle softly, “How could you do that?”
A painful twang sears through his heart. You've never been mad at him until now. He'll have this as a stigma for the rest of his life. He kisses the crown of your head to console you.
“I know, baby, I know…” He tries to comfort you, patting your back with his gentle hand, “I’m sorry I have to put you through this. But we need Aizen Sōsuke to win.”
You wince at the mention of your father's killer. You're a daughter of a member of the former Central 46 before Aizen massacred them all.
You shake your head relentlessly, “We don't!”
“My love, please, try to understand—”
“We don't need that rogue kinslayer.” You say stubbornly.
He sighs again. There's no way convincing you with reason, is there? Reluctantly, Shunsui wears the new Head Captain of The Gotei Thirteen's mask.
“It’s my job to ensure our victory, my love,” He grimaces at his own tone, he never spoke to you as such, “I’m terribly sorry, but the Central 46 has already given me their blessing to embark on unsealing him.”
You push him away, your body already yearns to his warmth around it again. Shunsui has always been your rock, your home. It goes against your nature to push him away like that. But he left you with no choice; the fact your father's killer will be breathing the same air as you thanks to your husband's efforts sends to the edge. Rage, frustration, and disappointment overwhelm you, and you cry harder. You wish you were a shinigami like your husband, maybe in that case he wouldn't be needing that bastard's help.
You glance up at him, your hand is flat on his bare chest. You can feel it, there's a change in his reiatsu. Something alien in his chest. Your eyes widen in realisation.
Your voice is wary. “Kyōraku Shunsui—”
His hands swipe up on your shoulders, “I need your blessing, wife.” He smiles ruefully, “I can't go against the enemy knowing my beautiful wife is angry with me.”
Your lips crack into a small smile through your tears. “Shunsui you can't fool me with words. I'm your wife.”
He smiles sadly, “I can't, can I?”
You flick your thumb to his chest and ease away the glamour that hides the X mark on his chest. Your heart wrings.
“What did you do?” You sniffle again, stroking the mark softly with your hands, “Why are you so gluttonous for punishment?”
“I’m not eager to see him either, believe me,” Shunsui chuckles humourlessly, “One must always be on their full guard when it involves Aizen Sōsuke.”
“What if… what if…” He kills you too, you wanted to say, but instead, “What if he harms you?” You reason, “You’re the Head Captain now, the Gotei Thirteen can't afford to lose another one.”
“It must be me, my love.” He sighs, “It was my idea…” Please, do not hate me.
Your tears pour down your cheeks, “Shunsui… I lost my lord father. I don't want to lose my lord husband too.”
“You won't. I promise.” He says, patting your head.
You both hear a knock on the library's door.
“Pardon me, Head Captain,” A member of the onmitsukidō is bowing at the entrance, “But it is time.”
You hug your husband, burying your face in his chest, “Please, don't leave me…” Your cries are muffled by his skin.
He leans in and kisses the top of your head, “I’ll be back in no time, I promise.”
Then, along with that soldier, he disappears from the library. Leaving you with a broken promise, and an honourable lie.
• Main Masterlist.
• Bleach Masterlist.
• AO3.
#shunsui bleach#kyouraku shunsui#bleach shunsui#shunsui kyoraku#shunsui x reader#bleach kyoraku#kyoraku shunsui x reader#kyoraku shunsui#kyoraku shunsui x y/n#kyoraku shunsui x you#kyoraku shunsui imagine#bleach#bleach x you#bleach x female reader#bleach x y/n#bleach x reader#bleach fic#bleach imagine
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VUXisms (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#Or if you prefer my very Normal Collection of ZEX stimming lol#I'm not choosing to read alien behaviours through a neurodivergent lense you can't prove anything#Okay you got me yes I am lol - in conjunction with my ADHD Max HC (which I am only more convinced of lol) I went into this with#Really any kind of self-soothing behaviour fascinates me :D And ZEX definitely needs the soothing ;;#But it's not just the stimming! Though I did keep pretty diligent notes about that lol he's deeply interesting to me!#He's a texture person! Part of that is due to being VUX and having very processed food but if it fits it fits!#I'm also a texture person - again I have too many notes relating to ZEX lol#I also find it charming (or sad - whichever is applicable at the time!) when ZEX eats in ''odd'' ways haha ♪#Eating without utensils - you can always just wash your hands you do you <3#The weighted blanket lol so - I had a very normal and measured reaction to ZEX enjoying full-body pressure lol#Solely and purely intellectual! Of course! VUX enjoy swimming! Full-body pressure makes complete sense!#And he's a tactile person on top of that - pressure good for multiple reasons! I really do think he'd sleep better with a weighted blanket ♪#Back to stimming! I really loved the scene of him opening the water bottle and his therapist being So Impatient with him about it lol#Let him figure it out! He's very intelligent! Very skilled at finding weak points and exploiting them hehe <3#But then he runs his finger on the lip of the bottle! Wine-glassing it while he talks hehe <3 I love him#Humming!! Another stim I relate to! Not so much now since it was ''encouraged'' out of me so I may be doubly biased towards him using it hee#Too delighted to focus on utensil lessons and yet he's still clever enough to pay attention to multiple things at once hehehe ♫#And then aside from his actual biggest stim he plays with his hair quite a lot - in various ways and to different ends :D#Running his hands through it to self-soothe or tugging on it to express - I kinda read it as him trying to move his head feelers around haha#Not quite the same but something!#Oh and then his biggest stim - just looking at humans lol it is very dopamine-delivering <3 And he has dopamine now! Very powerful :3c#Hhhhh human chemistry for VUX behaviours <3 It's so interesting to me hehe ♪
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Obviously Trobed is the main love story of Community and is practically canon in one way or another and I adore it, but I must say on this rewatch I'm nursing a little flicker of a fond and curious spark about the possibilties of Jabed
#No one throw tomatoes at me I'm allowed to multiship!!!#anyway something about Jeff occupying a persona out of fear and Abed occupying many personas out of love#something about Jeff being a man in his 30s so terrified of being unlovable that he crafts the persona of a man too cool for love#vs Abed a man who's been told he's weird/alien so many times that by his 20s(?) he's fully abandoned any shits he might have once gave#Jeff who makes out like he's a smooth ladykiller who has beautiful women throwing themselves at him#vs Abed who ACTUALLY has women (and men) throwing themselves at him because he's weird and it's hot#Jeff who's still not convinced he's a real person at all under the facade#Abed who's so confident in who/what he is that he can take vacations from it and step into totally different personas but always snap back#I think it's genuinely so important that they're the first two of the Greendale seven to meet/hang out#Jeff needs Abed to call him on his shit and show him it's possible as an adult to be weird and playful and loved for it#Abed needs Jeff to ground him a little and to take the group spotlight so Abed can observe and play to his heart's content#anyway i think in the best timeline we got an ep subplot like the han solo!Abed and Annie subplot#wherein Abed embodied a character Jeff has a buried crush on and briefly had a whirlwind romance with him and rocked his world#and Jeff has a crisis for like a week bc he considers himself a pickup artist who knows all the tricks#but the study group TV nerd just swept him off his feet and then strolled away like it was *nothing*#anyway don't mind me. Trying to prepare myself for a difficult day with some harmless blorbo thoughts#mr. bees speaks
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I’m not even gonna lie, a lot of my opinions about people are based on dreams I’ve had about them
#i know it’s wrong and that my dreams are nonsense#but like i’ve been lowkey convinced my stepdad is an imposter of some sort since i had a dream to that effect when i was 17#in the dream he hurt my mom and kidnapped me and his regional accent vanished and it was SUPER realistic. he was a spy#i know now he’s not faking that fucking accent and i think his personality does in fact boil down to foolish dork#but that’s just convinced me that he has to be an alien or something that’s using us to learn about human kind#i think he’s some sort of real life mr bean figure with more opinions and slightly less mishaps#i also… and this one is embarrassing. i can’t get into ch*rli xcx (censoring to not end up in tags) or tr*ye because i had a dream#where they were staying in my house and they were REALLY bitchy to me and talked badly about me to my flatmate#even though i was proofreading a book one of them wrote for free#i want to listen to their new music and i have heard some of it and it’s great but like#what about when they deliberately called me a bitch while i was still in earshot and took photos of me to laugh at#it WAS a dream but like. still#can you tell i’m fucking catatonically high rn#i found an edible in my fridge i forgot was there and i ate it and then my friend proceeded to come over here#and punch holes in my sanity by talking about court case shit#she doesn’t approve of my cannabis usage because she personally had a bad experience and thinks her experiences are universal#so i was trying really hard to seem sober which was EXHAUSTING#i do think i will do a tolerance break soon just because i really want to focus on my health and wellness and eat a better diet#also i come up with insane ideas like my stepdad is a fucking extraterrestrial#i mean he is but that’s not the point. did you know he’s never had a headache or a nosebleed? NOT NORMAL#and he never actually denies it#personal
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The Dance Academy isn't a gang- DC X DP Prompt
Inspired by this prompt
Clockwork suggests to Danny, who's been the king of the infinite realms for 6 years now, that he should take sometime off in a mortal realm. He doesn't feel like going back to his own dimension (you choose the reason), so Clockwork suggest another dimension where he thinks Danny might have fun.
Danny investigates the dimension, and finds it is a dimension where some humans, who are called meta-humans, develop powers, mostly during their childhood. Danny knows how tiring and alienating it is to grow with powers that one have to hide. He wishes to give this kids a safe space to experiment with their powers, but not as a weapon, just as part of themself.
He chooses to create a dance academy, because dancing is something in which you use your body and express yourself. It would be an excellent way to encourage this kids to use their powers while enjoying themself. He decides to open the dance academy in Gotham, were it seems metas may feel more pressure to keep themself hidden. With his ability to see and feel the differences in soul it's easy to identify metas, so he starts scouting kids for the academy.
Of course convincing the kids that it's just a a dance academy that wants to create a save space for metas, instead is of a trafficking ring, is difficult. But once he gets the first couple kids in, slowly more come too.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Bruce is worried about the new possible meta gang that it's forming on Gotham, and sends Duke undercover.
It's hasn't been long since Duke joined the bats, and this is his first official undercover mission. He's excited at the start, feeling proud that he's been trusted with an independent job, but then he finds out that the "gang" it's just a dance academy. He's a little disappointed, thinking that this job is more of a probation thing than anything, since there isn't anything suspicious.
The bats tell him to stay in the dance academy, because maybe the dance thing is just a cover up and they'll reveal their real motives when he's actually accepted in the group. And Duke takes it as them wanting him to have a meta support system. See? He's learning to understand how the bats show love to each other!
Duke finds himself enjoying being in a dance group. It's a lot of fun. Danny it's fantastic, he has a lot of powers and isn't scare to show them. Which makes everyone in the group feel so much safer to use their own.
Danny encourages them to integrate their powers in their dance. It's freeing. Their powers are treated as a normal part of them, and not as this exotic ability that has to be controlled. It's such a safe space that all of them have gotten used to using their powers for day to day stuff when in the dance studio. It all feels so casual because no one bats an eye to it. There's no talk about how they should try to do things "normally," or limit their use of their power.
Danny: "Why would you? That's your normal, and this place is safe for you to just be you."
Duke realizes a bit late that the bats were actually suspicious of the group, and that his placement there wasn't really a probation. He's glad to know he was actually trusted with a job, but, he had really thought that every time they had asked about his day with the group was because they were interested in how he was doing. That they were showing love and interest in him in that evasive ways the bats did, and it kinda suck to know it wasn't the case. It also meant that he had to confront their family in their clear meta-discrimination.
"Would you have been so suspicious if it wasn't a meta group? No. Other than them all being metas there wasn't anything off. No proof of fights, no proof of robberies, no proof of trafficking, nothing.
There's no proof of anything other than a group of teens dancing, and you know that because you checked it out before sending me.
Like, I don't blame you for checking it, I'm not naive, but you were so sure it was a gang, just because they were metas. That's fucked up guys."
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#dpxdc#batfam#bat family#batfamily#danny fenton#duke thomas#Danny Fenton becomes all of this kids older brother#He might have rooms for kids who were kicked away after reveling they're metas or had to run away for their safety#Duke was having the time of his life on the dance academy#Untill he realised the bets actually suspected the academy being a cover for a gang#Just because everyone in it was a meta#The bats only interact with metas under 3 circumstances#1) They're heroes (Who they already know or are presented to them as such)#2) Villains#3) Victims of trafficking#They rarely interact with them as just civilians#and don't notice they immediately jump to categorize them as threats if they aren't already people they know about or people they're saving
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𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐞-𝐚-𝐡𝐨𝐞! - spiderman!han jisung x fem!reader
wc: 11.1k
cw: han jisung is spiderman, a brief attack of an alien in school, both characters are 18+ (legal) but are intended to be in high school, friends to lovers, jisung calling mc baby at any given moment
synopsis: you’re obsessed with spiderman, but after a certain event takes place, you become convinced your best friend and spiderman are the same person.
a/n: after a long wait… HEHE smut warnings under the cut and as usual 18+ MDNI!!!!!!!
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
sw: brief mention of masturbation (both), oral (fem!rec), slightly switchy both parties, unprotected sex, creampie, dirty talk, loss of virginity (both), cumswapping, relatively tame given that its me
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
You’re intrigued.
Interested seemed like too little of a word to use for how you feel whenever you see the latest news report. In a world full of superhuman serums and bulletproof skin, he is still intriguing. Maths homework could be ignored, as far as you’re concerned - and that’s bold for you, because you love maths. You wonder if he likes maths, too.
Every night at 6pm sharp, you settle in front of the television and wait for the news. Spiderman, the hero in question, is always up to something. He loves shooting his webs across the tallest skyscrapers in the city, dangling from them precariously without a care before he lets out a loud, earth-shattering giggle and beats the newest bad-guy that your world has attracted. You always wince at the reports, wondering just how he healed from the injuries he must sustain. It had to be down to the spider venom, you supposed.
“He’s dangerous,” Your dad huffs. He’s lounging on his normal armchair, peeling leather be damned, munching on a bag of crisps. You grimace at his crisp covered digits motioning towards the television. You love your dad, really, and your mum - you just always differed in opinions when it came to Spiderman. He was so fucking cool, and you seriously feel like a child saying that all of the time, despite your best friend Jisung telling you that we all have our interests. “I mean, he’s putting normal civilians in danger. Friendly neighbourhood Spiderman my ass.”
“Honey,” Your mother admonishes, digging through her own bag of crisps. You briefly consider why you haven’t been offered one. They look tasty, when your father isn’t rubbing luminous orange dust onto his previously crisp white shirt. “You know she doesn’t like it when you say bad things about him. He- what was the word again, baby?”
“He intrigues me,” You mumble, pretending to erase equations from your homework. Your cheeks blaze crimson when your mother hums in agreement, nodding triumphantly to your father. You wish you could be as sassy as her sometimes. You’re more timid, hiding behind oversized hoodies and Jisung. He is a lot more confident than you, more loud and exuberant - you suppose that’s why he had adopted you as his all those years ago.
Your mother had been best friends with Jisung’s aunt, Sohee. She’s just like Jisung, zipping around the place at an insane pace to offer you snacks and drinks at every second. When you and Jisung had first met in preschool, you’d been drawing patterns in the mud with your grubby little fingers, hiding from the bullies. He’d criticised your drawing. He helped you fix it, though, chubby cheeks puffing out with a grin when it was good enough for his taste. Looking back now, that behaviour was so Jisung, but your mother had been delighted to find out that you’d already met her best friend’s son.
It had been easy becoming friends with him after that. Every day, he’d drag you by your wrist and take you to the yard, insisting on doing your co-operative drawings together. The teachers had a fit everyday on the state of you two by the end of your break, but your mothers had loved it, taking a million and one pictures a second. He stuck up for you both to the teachers, and then he stuck up for you to the bullies and it was like you’d known each other since birth. Inseparable at the hip, you’d been glued together throughout preschool, primary school and now high school - it doesn’t look like you’re getting rid of him anytime soon, either. You’d applied for the same colleges.
You don’t particularly want to be rid of him anyway. He’s alright, really, and you had a bit of a girly, high school crush on him. You would rather jump off of a building like Spiderman sans the webs if anyone found out.
Another thing Jisung is good for is listening to your rants. He waits for your call every night after the news had been on, and you clamber on your bed obediently after the report finishes to press on his contact.
“Jisung!” You squeal. There’s a lot of feedback on his end, and you hear a low ‘shit, fuck, oops, oh God’, until there’s a loud thud and he giggles, chiming through your tinny phone speakers. “... Ji? Are you okay?”
“Yep, sorry, baby,” He sounds out of breath, but you smile when he speaks anyway. Whenever he calls you baby, his designated nickname for you, it makes your heart flutter and you have to grimace to ignore it. His face pops into the little square designated to him, his cheeks blushing pink and round eyes wide. His hair is slightly damp, from what you’re not sure - but he looks cute. “I just got home. I was- I was running some errands for my aunt.”
“God, she’s got you running like crazy lately,” You mumble, still jotting down numbers on your homework. It’s taken you hours, but you always get distracted on nights like this. “Did you see it?”
Jisung hums, and then you hear him groan. He’s stretching, slightly toned honey-skinned arms appearing above his head in the plain oversized t-shirt he’s wearing. You try not to stare. “Did I see what?”
“The- the news, Sungie,” You feel shy mentioning it so outright. It is a weird interest, a weird thing to be obsessed with - Jisung often reassures you that it really isn’t, and his anime obsession was a lot worse. It was. You sigh, clearing your throat. “Spiderman. He was- he was super cool tonight.”
“Ooh, was he?” Jisung teases, chuckling when you groan in protest. “I’m only playing with you, baby. I saw it. He was super cool, wasn’t he?”
“Ha-ha, super cool, ‘cause he’s a superhero. You’re funny.”
“That’s why you keep me around,” Jisung chirps. “Hey, have you done the maths homework? I haven’t had time, because of the errands, y’know.”
“Hmm, yeah, I’m almost finished,” You aren’t. You’re far from it, really, but he doesn’t have to know that. “I can let you copy it tomorrow morning, before class.”
“No, that’s alright, baby. We can just cross-check our answers tomorrow,” His voice sounds tired, but you don’t comment. It’s better not to question Jisung when he’s like this.
His aunt has him doing a lot these days. You haven’t wanted to ask about it because you know it must be tough for her to look after Jisung since his parents passed, especially when Jisung is always going at full speed and is probably seconds away from giving his aunt a heart attack. He was always clumsy as a child, too, snapping his glasses in half and having a few broken bones to tell long stories about. He always means well, but sometimes you wish that he had something else to get his energy out of his system rather than stressing his aunt out.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
“Jisung, surely you know who Spiderman is, like, underneath the mask,” Seungmin quips through a mouthful of dry, government regulated school food. “You spent all that time with Bang Chan in the internship.”
Seungmin is a lanky boy that just came along one day and decided to be yours and Jisung’s friend. With him, he brought a younger, smiley guy named Jeongin, and Jeongin brought Felix. Felix is just Felix - nothing else can describe him. Before long, you’d found yourself in a de facto group of misfits that you weren’t even sure you could call friends. Apart from Jisung, of course.
Jisung simply raises an eyebrow in response to Seungmin. “I mean, sure. I met Mr Bang a few times, but I never met Spiderman. Not out of his suit, anyway.”
You gasp. Jeongin startles from the nap he was taking on the cafeteria table, raising his head to look at you angrily. Felix pushes his head back down from the hood on his jumper and Jeongin immediately falls back to sleep. “You met him in his suit?”
“Well, yeah,” Jisung shrugs. When he turns to look at you, your mouth is agape, feeling slightly betrayed. Jisung shoves another spoonful of cheese - was it really cheese? - pasta into his mouth, and then he’s sighing. “It’s not a big deal, baby. If I really met him, the real him, you’d be the first to know. I promise.”
“You still got that fat crush on Spiderman?” Felix chirps. You meet his amused gaze with your own steely glare, pouting over your packed lunch.
“It’s not a crush-”
“It’s an interest,” Jisung clarifies for you, and you smile. He’s always jumping to your defence like that. You bite into an apple, savouring the crisp, fruity taste on your tongue, and then the bell rings. Sighing, you watch as the boys around you get up - including Jeongin, fox like eyes bleary from sleep - and swing their bags on their shoulders.
“I’ll see you later,” You murmur to Jisung, who throws his arm around your waist in a quick hug. “Enjoy English.”
Right. You and Jisung didn’t have the same classes. He has English now, and you have chemistry, which is probably your least favourite of all classes. You just weren’t a fan of the whole blowing shit up scenario, unlike Jeongin was, and the boy trundles behind you towards your chemistry class.
The class is boring. The teacher drones on and on about some experiment you couldn’t care less about, and you pretend to care. You’re taking notes, sure, ever the diligent student - but you can’t get anything other than Spiderman out of your mind. Jisung met him, and didn’t tell you, and who even is this guy? You’d love to know. You’d love to just see him, even once, just to be able to tell the story.
A massive crash stops the teacher’s speech. He turns to the door, confused, and the students do the same. You do too, furrowed eyebrows staring at the door. Another crash causes people to begin to rise, and the teacher starts ushering everyone out of the class to the closest exit route. You’re frozen in confusion and fear, pencil halted in your fingers, even as another noise makes the teacher run out behind the class.
It’s quiet for a moment, and you’re still sitting in your seat, eyes wide and heart racing. Then, you spring up to follow the rest of your cohort, sneakers squeaking against the tiled floor as you run to the door. Swinging it open, you stick your head out the door and look around, trying to see if the coast is clear. With a planet full of interdimensional attacks, you can’t be sure, and looking left leads you to see a scaly, large animal type of thing. You squeak, startled, and immediately retreat into the class before it notices you. What the fuck do you do? What are you meant to do?
The whole room begins to shake, and you have a feeling the creature’s getting closer. Beakers are thrown to the floor from the vibration ringing throughout the room, glass shattering loudly, and you feel like you’re about to scream, or cry, or run, and you can’t run.
Doing the only thing you can think of, you cower to the floor, hiding underneath a table donned in smashed beakers. You’re curled up in a ball, watching students standing outside murmuring and discussing their own safety, and then the shaking stops.
The door swings open. Everything outside the classroom is too intimidating, items being thrown everywhere, and you can’t even bring your legs to move with how badly they’re shaking. Who’s just walked in? You pray for Jisung. You pray for someone who’s going to help you hide, someone who’s going to keep you safe, and then-
A masked face pops underneath the table. He’s lithe, slender, but the tight red and dark blue suit highlights the hint of abs and sculpted biceps on his body. Holy fucking shit. Your eyes widen. Spiderman is in your school.
“Are you okay?” His voice is deep, but it sounds almost like someone putting on a deeper voice to hide their identity. You nod hesitantly, and then he’s extending a gloved hand towards you, pulling you out from underneath the table. You’re unable to speak. Once you’re standing in front of him, you notice he’s around a head or so taller than you, but definitely not as tall as you thought he’d be. He sighs, chest heaving with panic. You suppose it must be pretty tough work fighting aliens from outer space. “I’ve webbed him up for now, but it won’t hold much longer. Go- please, go and run. Please, anywhere, just- go and hide, or run.”
“I-I-”
“Promise me, b- um, you. I can’t let you get hurt.”
You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “I- Yes, I promise, I’m going to- I’ll go, thank you, thank you-”
“Wait, no!” He shouts, rubbing his temples - or at least, you’d imagine he was but he’s just rubbing the mask in frustration. You watch as he bounds over to the window, kicking it open, and the students outside turn to the classroom in awe. You’re rooted in place, as if vines are circling your ankles and securing you to the floor, mouth agape. You wait for him to give you further directions, and you gasp when he runs back over to you, picking you up and carrying you over to the window. You feel light as a feather, and all you can think is how he’s even carrying this amount of strength in that small body. “Too risky. Outside.”
“O-Outside?” You stammer, cheeks bright red, and he nods. He leans to place you out of the window, delicately placing you on your feet, and then he speeds off, shouting a quick “see you later!”.
You blink. You can hear the noises of walls breaking and windows shattering as Spiderman fights, and Felix runs up to you from the crowd outside and slings an arm over your shoulder. You’re still staring inside the classroom as if you can see through walls and watch the fight. What did see you later mean?
What’s the likelihood, honestly? You knew he was the friendly neighbourhood guy, and all that, but why not Bang Chan, in his sleek nanotech suit? This was a big fight. You find yourself getting worried, biting your nails in concern for the man you don’t even know. You have to remind yourself of that. He saved you because you’re any other citizen, not for any other specialty - you don’t know this guy.
“C’mon, over here,” Felix ushers you over, tone soft. When you’re with him, Seungmin and Jeongin, he sighs, rubbing your back. “Crazy, right? At least you can say you met Spiderman now.”
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
Jisung is safe, thank god. You kind of feel guilty for not worrying about him at the moment, but he’d text you shortly after, saying he’d left just before it all kicked off because he felt a little under the weather. He wanted to make sure you were okay, though, so he texted you as soon as he could. You’d never admit the blush that rose to your cheeks when you read it.
It’s quiet in your room. Your parents had sprinted to you as soon as you’d come through the door, having seen the situation on the news, and you’d reassured them that Spiderman had saved you. It definitely changed your dad’s perspective of him, and now you lie on your bed feeling more than relieved.
Your fingers tap on your tummy in thought, though. He was making his voice deeper, that much you could tell, but why? How was he there so quickly? There’s no fucking way he was a student. Still, that body in the tight suit… you’d definitely been looking. You’re a woman, of course you were going to look. He had a figure enviable to every man. Broad shoulders, abs just slightly visible, strong legs that carried you over to the window…
In your dreamlike fantasy, you’re considering something you previously never would’ve thought of. What if Jisung was underneath that suit? Now, that would be perfect. Both of your crushes being one being, Jisung pulling that suit up his lithe thighs and letting it settle over his broad pecs.
Before you know it, your hand is dipping under the hem of your pyjama pants, unable to feel guilty for thinking about your best friend in this way. Besides, it wouldn’t be the first time, with many of your nights spent whimpering into your pillow and coming apart on your own fingers wishing they were his. He had such nice hands… What if it was him who had grabbed you from underneath that table? Your hand trails down to find your folds, slick and ready for whatever you had in store, but you focus on your clit, swollen and aching between your bottom lips. Would he finger you in the gloves if you asked, let you ride his abs in the suit until completion? Would he kiss you upside down, hanging from the-
A tap on your window makes you jump. The room is dark, save for your bedside lamp, and you turn rapidly to see a faceless figure just about popping in from the corner. You yank your hand out of your bottoms, squeaking, and then you squint to try and see the figure closer.
Holy shit. Spiderman is at your bedroom window.
Your cotton tank top is revealing, so you turn immediately to reach for your dressing gown and tie it around your figure. You pad over to the window in your socks, still wide-eyed and completely baffled, and then you turn the handle to allow him access. What the fuck?
“What the fuck?” You blurt, toes curling against your floor. Spiderman swings inside instead of responding, walking around your room like he’s been there a million times before. “No, seriously, what the fuck?”
He turns to you, shrugging. “I said I’d see you later, didn’t I?”
You blanch. He did say that, yes, but that still doesn’t explain the million questions you have right now. “Well, yeah, but- how do you know where I live?”
“I- uh, found it in the school office,” He hops up onto your bed, sitting cross legged. His mask hides his face, but he hums in pleasure at the feeling of the bedsheets on him. “After the fight, I went in there. Glad you’re okay, by the way.”
He’s still making his voice deeper, and you blink, nodding in response. “I’m great. Can I- can I ask why you’re here?”
He shrugs again, fiddling with a loose thread on your duvet. “No reason. Got bored. I was swinging around and remembered I saw your address on the computer.”
“Right,” You shake your head, still baffled. Instead of questioning him further, you jump onto the bed in front of him and copy his position, cross legged. “Don’t you have, like, recovering to do? I heard you got beat pretty bad.”
“Nah, no way,” He scoffs, rolling his neck. You suppress a smile. Cocky. “Spider venom, y’know? It repairs everything super quick.”
You were right. You can’t suppress a smile at his response, clicking your fingers at his masked face. “I fucking knew it! I guessed it was the venom.”
He stops fiddling with the duvet, turning to you and tilting his head in question. “You’re smart, aren’t you? Hey, are you the one that’s friends with that kid?”
You narrow your eyes. Jisung’s a liar. If Spiderman knows who he is, that means they’ve met more than once, and Jisung lied. You reach for your phone, ready to bitch him out via text, but Spiderman knocks your phone out of your hand. You turn to him, confused.
“Talk to me,” He whines. “I told you I was bored!”
You roll your eyes. “Okay, damn. Yes, I’m friends with Jisung. Why?”
“No reason,” He wiggles forward on your bed, grabbing your hand. You’re confused, but then he launches you into an intense thumb war, one that you were never going to win. Everytime you go to move your thumb in response to his, he’s got you pinned, and before he speaks again you’re five rounds down. “He’s pretty cool, right?”
“Who?” You ask, still focusing on the thumb war.
“Jisung,” He clarifies, clearing his throat. Making his voice that deep must be taking its toll on his vocal chords. “He’s kinda cool. Super smart, I thought.”
“He definitely is,” You laugh when he pins your thumb down again, swatting at his wrist to get him off of you. “He’s smarter than me.”
“And, uh,” He clears his throat again, leaning back on your bed. Leaning back like that, you have a full view of his body in his suit, and you have to stare at the posters on your wall to avoid looking at him. He puts his hands behind his head, the full picture of relaxation, and you wished he’d stop throwing you this random curveball behaviour. “Is that all you think of him? Just smart?”
You blush, finally reverting your eyes to him. “What do you mean?”
“I just mean… Do you have a crush on him, or?”
“Who wants to know?” You bristle, playing with your hands in your lap. You look down at your chipped nail polish, awkwardly shifting on the bed in your pyjamas. “I don’t even know who you are.”
“No one knows who I am,” He responds easily. “I want to know. Tell me. Do you have a crush on him?”
“I’m not telling you that-”
“I’m bored!” He whines again, sitting up. You let him grab your hand again, pulling your pinky finger into a promise. You swear you see the mask smile. “Tell me!”
“Okay, damn,” You sigh, exasperated. Was he on molly or something? Are you dreaming? “I guess so. I guess I always have, yeah, I don’t know. I don’t think he’d ever like me like that.”
He coos at that, taking your hand in his. It’s strangely comforting. “Why not?”
“He’s- well, I don’t think I’m good enough for someone like him,” You admit, scratching the back of your neck. “It’s awkward. He’s my best friend. It would ruin things, and I guess I’ve never let myself think about it like that.”
“You should,” He hums. You blink, staring at him. What the hell is he on about? “I just mean you should. Maybe he likes you too, y’know? I like my best friend. I’d love to know if she likes me back.”
“You do?” You wiggle closer, eager to know more. “You like your best friend? What’s she like?”
“Well,” He strokes your hand again before pulling away, leaning his chin on his hand. “She’s super pretty. Smart, too. I’ve known her since like, forev- for a few years, I think, in total.”
“It’s kind of the same with me and Jisung,” You sigh again, pouting. “I’ve known him for my whole life, basically. I’m just scared it’ll ruin things, but I think about him a lot when I’m on my own.”
He snickers. “Really? Like when you’re doing what you were doing when I got here?”
You swat at his shoulder, blushing bright red. “Shut up, oh my god! I thought you- shut up. Just don’t.”
“Maybe he thinks about you then too, I don’t know,” He shrugs nonchalantly, and then he’s getting up and pacing around. You watch him fiddle with a few photo frames on your desk, humming at ones of you and Jisung when you were younger and even fiddling with a few of your academic medals and prizes. “I won’t tell him, by the way.”
“You see him often?” You ask, voice soft. “He said-”
“Nah, I’ve only seen him once or twice,” He stretches his arms above his head, still staring at your desk full of trinkets. “He doesn’t know who I am.”
“Can I know?”
He turns to you. “Know what?”
“I want to know who you are,” Your voice is confident, but you feel anything but, teeth chewing your bottom lip nervously. “You saved me, and now you’re in my bedroom. I feel that I deserve to know.”
He sighs loudly this time, walking towards the window. “When we get to know eachother better, maybe.”
“Wait, hang on,” You watch him sling a foot out of the window, exasperated. He can’t leave! “Where are you going? I thought you said you were bored-”
“Things to do, baby,” He replies quickly. You blink. That ‘baby’ sounds awfully familiar, and you stand up quickly to walk towards the window, but he’s already webbing away. “Bye!”
You stand there, shocked and confused. He’s swinging from building to building away from you, and you’re just standing there like an idiot. You were interrupted before you could even start touching yourself, forced into a thumb war and coerced into admitting your deepest, darkest secret, and then he just… leaves? Just like that?
Your life is proving to be a little more interesting than you thought, but your dreams were filled with familiar round cheeks beneath a red and blue mask.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
“Baby, is there a reason why your eyes are burning holes into the side of my head?”
You’re convinced your best friend is Spiderman. There, sitting beside you with his glasses sliding down his nose and comfortable in a grey hoodie and pink Hello Kitty pyjama bottoms on, it’s hard to believe. But you’re not stupid.
First of all, since he started that internship with Mr Bang, he’s been weird about letting you inside his room. This is the same person that you had many sleepovers with growing up, and as recently as a few months ago you’d been cuddling in bed together watching Howl’s Moving Castle. He has something to hide, but you’d been let down when you’d arrived at his house earlier and shouldered past him to find literally nothing of suspicion inside his room, other than an anime girl mouse pad with the boobs to rest your wrist on. You knew that existed though, ever since his birthday last year when Felix had gifted it to him, so what gives?
Secondly, Sohee is more stressed out than ever. You’d caught sight of her flitting around the kitchen when you arrived for your homework friend-date, scrubs on and ready to head to the hospital but still panicking about something. Jisung said multiple times that he’d been helping her out more and that’s why he’s been so busy lately. She shouldn’t still be panicking.
Thirdly, Spiderman wouldn’t make his voice deeper to you unless you knew him. He wouldn’t need to, or you wouldn’t recognise his voice - unless it’s a habit he’s picked up, perhaps. That doesn’t change that the way he called you baby last night sounded a little bit too familiar, too comfortable. It came out of his mouth like second nature.
Still, it makes no sense. Surely Jisung would have told you? You’re his best friend, he said so, so he’d tell you. Or would he? Maybe Felix knows. You’re also hoping deep down that it isn’t true, because if it is, you told your crush last night that you liked him.
You can’t even be mad at Jisung for it. He’s still staring at you, and you’re staring blankly back while shoving snacks into your mouth. There’s crumbs all over your homework.
“Jisung,” You begin, and he hums in response. “Would you tell me your deepest, most serious secret if I worked it out?”
He chokes on his energy drink, spluttering neon blue liquid all over his bed. You want to giggle, to make fun of him, but you’re sure you’ve gotten somewhere here. He wipes his mouth, clears his throat, and turns back to you. His hands are shaky where they clutch his textbook, and his eyes are almost blurry through the glasses. “I tell you everything anyway.”
“I don’t think you do,” You respond, quick as a beat. He blinks, lips parting. “Not by that reaction, Jisung. I think you’re hiding something from me.”
He scratches his nose with the end of his pen, looking down at the textbook again. You raise an eyebrow. “I’m not hiding anything.”
“Okay,” You hum. He sighs, scribbling something on the paper. It’s so quiet in the room that you can hear his pen scribbling, but you’re speaking again before you can even think. “Did I tell you Spiderman came to my room last night?”
He gulps audibly. “Nope.”
“Yeah, it was kinda weird,” You take a sip from your energy drink, still staring at him vacantly. Jisung’s eyes flit up to you, and then back down to the textbook. Oh, he knows. He knows that you know. He knows that you know that he knows. “He saved me in school, when that alien thing was there, and then he came to my room and asked me about you.”
“He, uh- really? Did he?”
“Mhm,” Your gaze is steely. “Jisung, I know you’re Spiderman.”
Jisung bursts out laughing. It would be believable, but you’ve known him since you were four years old and it’s a fake laugh. He’s cackling, loud as brass, and he lets out a little “ooh” afterwards as if he can’t believe you. “Baby, that’s the craziest theory you’ve ever come up with.”
“Is it?” You question, head tilting to the side. Then, in the smartest moment you’ve ever had, you pick up Jisung’s energy drink from the floor. He’s still looking at you, a fake smile on his lips, and you take a sip from it casually. Sharing drinks isn’t new for you. You glug back the artificial blue raspberry flavour, and then keeping eye contact with him, you let go.
Before the can is able to fall and spill the rest of its contents over your own textbook, and inevitably Jisung’s One Piece bed sheets, he reaches out and grabs it, hand wrapping around the can, quick as a flash. It all happens in about a second, and you gasp. Jisung gasps. His hand tightens around the can and it crinkles, an impossible show of strength, and then he’s blinking at you. You raise an eyebrow.
“I knew it.”
He puts the can safely on the bedside table, and then he’s slamming his textbook shut. You watch in confusion as he paces back and forth on his bedroom floor, running his hands through his hair over and over.
“Okay!” He points at you, victorious. “That was a reflex. I knew you were going to do that, I’m smart, duh! I knew you were going to drop the can to prove something, and-”
“Jisung,” You say, voice soft. He stops pacing, sock clad feet rooted on the carpet to stare at you. You’re going to get him. You’re going to get him good. “Do you not want me to know? Is that what this is?”
He immediately falls to the floor, head resting on your knee as he looks up at you. You can’t even feel sorry for him, because your plan is working perfectly. His eyes are round and vulnerable, and then he clenches them shut in distress. You think he’s probably a second away from crying. “Baby, it’s not that. I wanted to protect you. It would be dangerous if the bad guys knew who you were, knew that you knew, and I know I shouldn’t have come to your room, that was wrong of me, and-”
You giggle. Jisung furrows his eyebrows, eyes opening. “I knew I was right.” He gasps, pointing at you again.
“Judas! You’re a judas!” He’s shocked, leaning back on his haunches and staring at you. “I can’t- I can’t believe you, that was so-”
“Sneaky? Good? Smart?” You list, leaning back on his twin bed. He stands up, hands on his hips. You’re ready for him to bitch you out, but you don’t care - you knew that you had to know, had to have it confirmed. He taps his foot, and then you see a smile break out on his lips.
“Okay, yeah, that was pretty good,” He hums, returning to the bed. You let him shut your own textbook and sprawl across you, head in your lap. “I’m sorry, baby. I should’ve told you.”
You sigh, reaching down to run your fingers through his hair. “That’s okay, Ji. It’s fine. I’m just a little embarrassed.”
“Embarrassed? Why?” Jisung asks, his eyes fluttering shut from the feeling of your nails on his scalp. You want to scoff. Embarrassed for two major reasons - one, because you’ve been gushing about how cool Spiderman is for weeks, maybe even months, and two because you told Spiderman last night that you liked Jisung. Spiderman and Jisung are the same person. Sure, it makes things easier. You no longer have a crush on two people, only one, but it doesn’t change the fact that Jisung knows and is yet to say anything.
“I’ve been talking to you about Spiderman for weeks,” You blush, pushing his hair off of his forehead. He whines, thrashing his feet and shaking his head like a dog to hide his forehead again. He’s so dramatic. You like him so bad. “And- and you- it was you, then. You came to my room last night.”
“Yeah, that was risky,” He responds, exasperated. “I just had to, baby. I don’t know, you always seemed so interested in Spiderman and not me. I needed to know if you saw me like you saw him.”
You pause your movements on his head, blinking at the wall in front of you. When you turn back to him, he’s blushing, teeth gnawing his bottom lip. His eyes are conveniently staring at the window, away from you.
“Jisung,” You start, hesitant. “What do you mean?”
He sits up sharply. “Wanna go on the roof?”
“T-The roof? Jisung, how are we gonna- oh. Oh.”
Jisung jumps up from the bed, toeing his sliders onto his feet and pushing the window open. It gives you deja vu - that same figure was pushing the window open just like this to place you safely outside in school yesterday, and then he was coming through your window to see you late at night. It’s hard to believe that they’re the same person, the man you admired so much and your best friend who’s standing by the window expectantly waiting for you to join him.
You hesitantly stand up, brushing off imaginary crumbs from your joggers and looking at Jisung. He smiles, a soft, reassuring smile, and then he’s scooping you up from the floor and wrapping your legs around his waist. It’s slender, the plush flesh of your thighs almost obscuring it, and you squeak in surprise at being in the air.
“I- Jisung?!”
“You have to hold on tight,” He says. His face is inches away from yours, plush lips looking more than appealing and his glasses making him look so endearing. “I need my hands for this, so hold onto my shoulders.”
You nod, face blushing crimson at the realisation of just how close you are. Would he have you like this if he fucked you? Legs around his waist, hands on his shoulders, his face so close to yours as he pants and whines and moans-
You squeak again when he slides out of the window, and then you see him in action. His hands stick to the outside of the apartment building, feet kicking up against the concrete wall. Your heart is racing so badly it feels as though it could burst out of your chest, but you’re not sure if it’s because of the height or because you’re tightly pressed against Jisung.
When he swings you both over the side ledge on the roof, you notice the sun’s set already. Time always goes by quickly with Jisung, but the stars are already out, and the air is crisp and biting against your limbs despite the layers. Once he’s safely stood on the roof, he places his hands underneath your thighs and detaches you from his firm body, placing you on your feet.
You’re disorientated, shocked at the sheer height of the building and at the way Jisung seems to be swinging you around like it’s nothing, but he’s simply staring at you. A wide smile stretches from ear to ear, and he blinks when you don’t say anything. “It’s cool, right?”
“Y-Yeah, super cool,” You admit, chest heaving. “Really high up, but cool. Jisung, why are we on the roof?”
He’s wrangling you, hands on your arms and pushing you to the floor. It feels firm, but with what you now know about him, you know he’s holding back. He plops down next to you, eyes wide and expectant.
“I wanted to do it properly,” He begins. He pauses for a moment, licks his lips, pushes his glasses up his nose, and then he’s speaking again. “I like you, so that’s why I asked. Is it romantic up here? It feels romantic, but I’m not too sure-“
He stands up and begins pacing around the roof before you realise he’s even moved. You raise an eyebrow. “Jisung?”
“I wanted to do this right, y’know?” He pauses, hands on his hips. He looks comical, trying to assert dominance over you like that in those Hello Kitty pyjama trousers. “I- I wanted to swing by and like, grab you, or something? But then you worked it out, and now I’m just standing here with you on a roof…”
He continues mumbling like a mad scientist, eyes focused on a spot next to your head. You stand up, making your way towards him, and he still refuses to look at you. He likes you back. He likes you back, and he’s still your best friend - he’s still Jisung, but he’s also Spiderman, and you’re okay with that. You don’t have to like two people. You only like one, and it’s your goofy best friend.
“Is this even romantic? You know, we could just forget about it and-“
You press your lips to his. He doesn’t make any form of surprised noise, only cupping your cheeks with his hands and pulling you close to him. His glasses bump against your face, his lips pouty against yours and plush and maybe a bit too wet for a first kiss, but you’d always figured he’d take it too far. That’s what you like about him. Jisung never does anything by halves.
It’s brief, too brief for your liking, but then he’s pulling away with a satisfied grin on his face. You blink. Wait.
“Wait, your stupid- your stupid spidey things. Did you know I was going to kiss you?” You pout, and he giggles. “No, seriously! Could you like- I don’t know, feel it coming?”
“Not until you were like, a few inches from my face,” Jisung admits, and his teeth gleam in the brilliance of the evening. “I had a feeling you might.”
You sigh. “So why didn’t you stop talking?”
“Dunno,” He shrugs. “I couldn’t stop once I started.”
The statement is so true to Jisung, so in character for your best friend that you can do nothing but accept it.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
It’s easy to fall into a different routine with Jisung.
He never asked you to be his girlfriend. You’re pretty sure you’re fine with that, though - things have had a natural manner of progressing, and now your best friend slash boyfriend slash superhero turns up at your window every night after he’s been on his neighbourhood patrol. Sometimes he’s a little bruised, and sometimes he’s just looking for consolation kisses.
It’s a normal night for you when it happens. Jisung’s halfway out of your bedroom window on his way to perform perfect justice, pulling his mask down over his annoyingly beautiful face. You’re standing a few feet away grinning like an idiot.
“I’ll see you later, my baby,” You can see his grin through the mask. The eyes on his mask form beautiful crescent moons with his happiness. He falters, legs swinging on your windowsill. “Wait. I am coming back here, yeah?”
“Of course,” You giggle. He sends you two fingers in a mock salute, and you watch him begin his journey up the wall to your roof. A beat passes and you’re still standing there, smiling, hands on your hips, and then the masked head of your best friend pops back down into your window, upside down, tilting to the side in confusion. You blink, confused. “What is it, Sungie?”
“Well, where’s my goodbye kiss? Damn,” He huffs, and you roll your eyes playfully. You make your way to the window, sock-clad feet padding on your carpet, and you pull his mask down to his eyes with two fingers. It miraculously stays on his head, and his lips form a teasing grin.
Despite him being upside down, you place a chaste kiss to his lips, and you watch in amusement as he swings away afterwards. You can still hear him giggling with glee from a few buildings away.
It’s a few hours later when he comes back. You’re flicking through a book for English, scrawling notes and highlighting words on sticky notes. It’s started to rain, and the city lights only look brighter in the dusk with the pattering of water on your window. You left it open, of course, for your superhero, but the cold air bites at your arms even through the fluffy blanket you’ve got wrapped around yourself.
Just as you’re beginning to contemplate closing it, a louder, more prominent tap hits the glass. When you turn to the window, Jisung is slouched against your windowsill, chest heaving beneath red lycra and forehead pressed against the glass. He’s got his mask between his teeth, and his hair is dishevelled, floppy brown locks obscuring his eyes. You can still catch sight of the bruising on his cheekbones and you gasp, rushing towards the window.
You drop your blanket in shock, but you swing the window open, pulling Jisung inside with one hand. He stumbles through, disoriented and confused, and you lead him to sit on the edge of your bed.
“Got hurt,” He explains, huffing out a breath. The mask drops from his teeth unceremoniously, with a wet plop to your carpeted floor, but you don’t care. You rush to sit next to him, fingers gripping his chin to pull him to face you. His eyes are round, sincere, and he gives you a soft smile. “It’ll heal before long, baby, don’t panic.”
“I am panicking,” You say, resolute, because you really are. Bruising is scattered across his cheekbones, fading into green on the plush of his cheeks and his lip looks like it had been burst, but is already healing. “Will it- will it take long? Do you need me to get the first aid kit, or-“
“Baby,” He shakes his head, grabbing your hands. You watch with parted lips as he leans forward, both of you cross legged on the end of your bed. It reminds you of when Spiderman first visited you, when you weren’t quite sure of his identity. Jisung presses his forehead against yours, and you let him look into your eyes. It’s like he’s demanding everything that’s ever gone through your head to be vocalised. You’d tell him if he asked. “I’m really okay. I’m a little shaken up, but I’m fine. Most of it is on my ribs from falling, to be honest.”
“Your ribs?!” You shriek. “Show me. Let me see, I need to help you-“
You’re already trying to wrangle Jisung out of his suit, and he giggles, clearly thinking this is all just some game. He holds his arms up pliantly, though, and you don’t have the thought processing ability within you to realise that Jisung’s suit is an all-in-one and you’re currently stripping him down to his boxers.
The suit is wet too when you drop it to the floor, and before long you’re blinking at your best friend in his plain black boxers and he’s grinning at you as if this is any other day. There’s no bruising on his ribs. You’re staring at his abs, regardless, so you’re not sure you would’ve even noticed.
“You look fine.”
“I told you it heals quickly, baby,” He grins. You blink when he wriggles on your bed, laying on his back and stretching his arms above his head again, this time to get comfortable. His legs stretch out too, and you avoid looking anywhere below his waist.
His body is a spectacle. You can’t stop looking. Broad shoulders taper off into an extremely defined chest and a tight, thin waist adorned with prominent abdominal muscles, before reaching a v-line that leads into his boxers. You’re wide eyed, wanting nothing more than to reach out and run your fingers down his honey toned skin.
“Why-“ You cough, clearing your throat. Jisung raises an eyebrow. He’s grinning from ear to ear, teeth gleaming. “Why did you let me strip you if you’re literally fine?”
The bruising on his cheek is already fading. He shrugs nonchalantly, crossing his arms over his chest. His biceps bulge with the movement and you think you might choke on your own spit. “You seemed pretty determined, so I just allowed it. You wanted to see me naked, I assumed, so-“
“Jisung!” You wail, slapping his shoulder. He groans in pain, catching your hand, and he grits his teeth with a hiss.
“My shoulder! Fuck, that hurt, ouch, baby! What was that for?!”
You gasp. He clutches his shoulder, letting out little pants of hurt sounding noises. You let your head fall to his chest, engulfing him with a hug. “Jisung, I’m so sorry-“
“Hehe,” He giggles. When you look at him, he’s sticking his tongue out, completely fine. You groan, annoyed you fell for it, and then he’s grabbing your forearms and pulling you upwards on top of him.
Your breasts press against his chest like this, due to your lack of bra in your sleep shirt, and his eyes widen when he feels it. Instead of letting you go, his hands move to your back, encompassing you in his strong hold.
You gasp, wiggling in his grip, and he licks his lips. His eyes go to your lips, and then back up to your eyes, as if he’s hesitant.
“I-“ He begins, faltering. “Are you my girlfriend?”
You scoff out a laugh. “I don’t know, am I?”
“I hope so,” Jisung admits, his facial expression vulnerable. His eyes dart to something behind you, as if he’s not sure, almost shy. You’re not sure you’ve ever seen him shy. “I don’t know. I didn’t ask, but I want you to be, if you want to be.”
“I want to be,” You nod. He nods in response, and you watch his eyes flicker to your lips again. It’s silent for a moment, and then he leans in, pressing his lips against yours.
The kiss is more charged than usual. Before now, you’re used to chaste, fleeting kisses from your superhero, but now he lets his tongue tease against the seam of your lips. Your eyes flutter shut, and his eyelashes brush against your skin where he does the same. You let your lips part, and Jisung’s quick to grip your back harder, tongue darting inside your mouth with impatience.
You’ve made out with someone before. You’d never had sex with someone before, but you had made out with someone. It was only once at a party when you were a little bit younger but it had felt like a good idea at the time. You’re sure Jisung’s lost his virginity though, but when he whimpers against your lips and his hips squirm a little you’re not too sure.
You pull away from the kiss, lips a little wet, and Jisung’s mouth goes to your neck. You allow him to suck a mark into the expanse of skin just underneath your jaw, his fingers grabbing impatiently at your back. “Sungie, are you a virgin?”
Jisung pulls away, licking his lips. You feel something hard pressing against your thigh where you lay on top of him. You’re thanking every entity ever that your parents are out for a work dinner. “Yeah, I am. I would have told you if I wasn’t,” He confirms, a little breathless. His hips wiggle again. “Is that- is that okay, baby?”
“Yeah, of course,” You smile, comforting. You peck his lips again and he grins back at you. “I am too.”
“I know,” He responds, quick as a flash. You blush. That’s embarrassing. “No, I just mean- you also would’ve told me, y’know?”
“That’s true,” You shrug. You’re feeling a little overconfident, and you move in his hold, having felt it gone a little lax with your kissing. You let your thighs spread over his hips, his hard shaft pressing against your core through your pyjama bottoms and his boxers. You still feel it, though, and it makes your pussy gush a little. “Is- is this okay?”
He’s blushing. His lips part, and he nods, perhaps too eagerly because he clutches his neck afterwards like he’s got whiplash. “Baby, you’re- I have a pretty girl in my lap. This is so okay. Like, so okay, I might have a heart attack and die, probably.”
You shift, and he winces. “Sorry,” You say. It’s a fake apology. You want to swallow his cock down your throat until he cries, and you don’t even know how to. You’d try your best though. “If I lost my virginity, I’d want it to be with you.”
“Damn,” Jisung whistles, eyebrows raised. “Let me hit?”
You giggle, tilting your head to the side. “I’ll let you hit right now, Jisung.”
Jisung shoots upwards into a seated position. His eyes are wide. “Right now?”
“Right now,” You confirm. You go from straddling his lap to laying on your back on your bed in a flash, and Jisung looms over you, all tight, toned muscles and broad shoulders.
“I’ll make it so good, baby, I promise,” He says, and then he’s kissing you again. It’s even messier this time, lips pressing against yours over and over and his tongue adding a collection of spit to the mix. You let your thighs fall apart, his hips quick to fill the space and press his cock against you. His hands go to your waist as he kisses you, sucking and biting on your lips until you’re whining with it, but he doesn’t let up. He’s desperate, messy, and it’s only making your pussy drool even more.
The rain hits the window still, cooling off a little but still providing a calming effect to your room when combined with the orange-pink of your lamp. He inches his palms up your shirt, the softness of his hands surprising you, and then he’s pulling away from your mouth to yank the fabric over your head.
You’re left in just your pyjama bottoms, lips kiss bitten and nipples pebbled against the cool air of your bedroom. You never had shut your window, after all.
“Oh,” Jisung says, exasperated. You finally open your eyes to see him staring at your tits, and you think he might be drooling. “Oh, yeah, my baby. They are so fucking good.”
You almost laugh, but you’re cut off by your own strangled moan when his pouty lips engulf your right nipple. He sucks on it, hard, and when your back arches he lets it slip out of his mouth with a wet popping noise. It’s only a brief moment of reprieve before he’s letting his teeth skim along the bud, and you keen, fingers moving upwards from his shoulders to grip onto the pillow behind your head.
“Oh, that’s so- Sungie, baby, that feels good,” You whine, and he hums against your breast. When he moves to the other one, he tweaks your wet nipple between two fingers. It’s experimental, but the whole thing is, and you buck your hips up impatiently.
His hands move to your ass, scooping underneath you and making you grind slightly against him. The movement makes him moan, your nipple leaving his mouth. A string of drool attaches to his lips and his tongue lolls out lazily, and before you can process it, he’s grinding his cock into your clothed centre.
“Oh- oh, fuck,” He whines, eyes clenching shut. You whimper in response, arms wrapping around his shoulders. “Baby- baby, baby. Baby, I’ve thought about this so much, I- fuck, you’re gonna feel so good around my cock.”
His words are so crude that they make you keen, nodding enthusiastically. “I thought about it too. I- I touched myself thinking about it, Sungie, did you?”
He gasps sharply, and there’s a fumbling between your legs. He rocks backwards on his haunches, and you see him gripping his cock impatiently underneath his boxers, fingers wrapped tight around the base.
“I will literally cum if I imagine that,” He huffs, breathless. “But yes. I did, many times, and- and- baby, can I see your pussy?”
It’s so bold that you can’t say no. You never would have dreamed of saying no anyway, and you nod, wiggling your bottoms down your legs. You never wear a bra or panties underneath your pyjamas, and your pussy is revealed to him in all its drooly glory, folds sticking together with your arousal.
Jisung’s jaw goes slack. You watch him jerk his cock, eyes fixated on your wet hole, and you shift impatiently.
“I showed you mine, Sungie,” You huff. “Show me yours.”
He nods, eyes still glued to your pussy. Your clit is swollen with arousal, some wetness stuck onto it, and you reach down to trace your fingertips over it absentmindedly while he pushes his boxers down. His cock slaps up against the bottom of his tummy, cockhead leaking beneath his foreskin, precum slicking the smattering of hair at his base. His balls look heavy, shaft swollen and fat between lithe thighs, and you can’t help but go a little googly eyed at the thought of him stretching you out.
He grabs it, pumps his cock a few times while you rub your fingers over your clit. “Is- is it okay, baby?” He gasps, cock leaking steadily in his fist.
“You’re so sexy, Sungie, ‘s so big. I- oh,” You whine, spreading your arousal over your folds. You prop your feet up, letting your legs fall wide, and the movement must expose your soppy hole to Jisung because his eyes widen even further. “I want you inside of me so bad. I’ve wanted it for so long, I just- shit, Jisung, what are you-“
You’re cut off by him diving between your legs. His cock is forgotten, his hands looping around your ass again to spread you wide, and his tongue presses against your core. He moans at the taste, and you whimper out loud, head rolling against your pillow. It’s messy and you can tell he’s inexperienced, but when he sucks your clit between his lips you can’t find it in you to care.
“Oh, oh- baby, baby! You’re good at that, so good at that, baby,” You babble, trying your best not to grind up into his mouth. His mouth is just as wet as your pussy, his lips drooling all over you. You’re cut short when he flattens his tongue against your core, moaning out loud, and his hands move your ass just a bit. “I- you- Sungie-?”
“Grind on my face, baby, c’mon,” He murmurs, muffled by your folds, and you oblige. Your hand goes to his hair, yanking on the dark brown strands, and you hold him in place while you grind your pussy senseless on his tongue. Your boy is good with his mouth, you realise - he’s pliant, letting you make yourself cum on his tongue and lips, and after only a few grinds you’re sure you’re going to fall apart for him.
“Ah! Ah, oh, baby, your mouth is- Sungie, Sungie,” You whine, feet kicking on the bed. Your legs go flat, but as the pleasure builds up in your core, your thighs tighten around his ears. He likes this, moaning loud to the point the vibrations make you jolt. It’s all so wet, your pussy dripping with arousal and his saliva, dripping down to your asshole. It has you wondering if Jisung would eat your ass further down the line, and your eyes flicker to his - would he let you eat his? He probably would, with how submissive he’s being.
His hips buck downwards on the bed and he keens into your pussy, and you realise he’s humping your mattress. He’s so desperate for you that he just can’t help himself, and you moan, loud and unabashed. The sight has you hurtling towards your orgasm.
“I’m gonna fucking cum, baby,” You warn, and he finally lets up, pulling back to suck on your clit. His hand moves over to the top of your pussy, pulling your mound backwards, and the exposure of your clit directly to his lips is your downfall. You wail, bucking your hips into his mouth, and you can hear yourself talking and moaning but you’re not sure what you’re saying, only able to feel your hole gushing into Jisung’s mouth over and over.
Jisung licks over your clit a few times comfortingly, and then he’s on top of you again, face looming over yours. His right hand holds him up steadily and the other stays downwards, hooked on your thigh to keep you open.
“You taste delicious, baby,” He grins, mouth wet. When he presses his lips to yours he’s desperate, tongue darting into your mouth to let you taste your own cum. You let your hands fall to his chest, fingernails digging into the muscles. The filthiness of it all has you wriggling around impatiently again, and Jisung’s cockhead slips against your clit, making you whine into his mouth. He pulls away, gasping for air with the sensation, and you kiss the beauty spot on his cheek for good measure. “Baby. M-my baby, shit, can- can I fuck you now? Have you got a condom, I- shit, I need to fuck you?”
He’s breathless, giggling at his own desperation, and you nod eagerly. You’re on the pill, and realistically you’d want nothing more than him to creampie you, but you have a shred of logic still left in your brain. “No condom. I- I don’t have any, can you pull out? I know it’s not-“
“Don’t care,” He huffs, legs moving to prop himself up more securely. His knees dig into your bed, and he pulls your thigh further apart, letting his eyes fall down to your pussy. His face is more than pornographic when he sees the visual of his cockhead sliding through your folds, eyebrows furrowed and lips parted. He lets his eyes flutter shut, a small profanity leaving his mouth. “You’re sure I can fuck you raw? I- please, p-please, baby. I need to be inside.”
“Jisung,” You whine. He lets his tip bump against your clit again, and you grow too desperate, reaching down yourself to grab his cock. The feeling makes him whimper, his fingers ripping into the pillow beside your head with his superhuman strength, but you’re too out of it to care. You position his cock by your hole, soppy and wet with your own cum, and he can’t hold himself back - he pushes in, all of it at once, a long, anguished noise leaving his mouth. “Oh. Oh- Oh, Jisung, that’s-“
“Is it okay? Are you okay?” Jisung asks, breathless. “Does it hurt? I- baby, baby-“
He’s still completely stationary, but he can’t stop talking, chest heaving and flushed pink. You shake your head. It doesn’t hurt. You’re wet enough that he glided in so easy, stretching your pussy in the most pleasurable, delicious way. You didn’t think it would ever feel this good, but you’re sure it’s because it’s Jisung.
“God, is it- does it feel good?” He questions you, and you nod eagerly, hands moving to rest on his biceps. He repositions you both so that your legs are wrapped around his waist, his arms holding himself up over you, and the movement has him sliding deeper, making you whimper. “Can I-“
“Fucking hell, Jisung, can you just move?” You huff, annoyed, and he giggles. He shakes his head fondly, and then he’s thrusting into you, slow but steady.
“Oh, that’s good,” He slurs, eyes rolling back into his head. “That pussy’s good. Jesus, you’re- you’re tight on my cock, baby, like a fuckin’ vice.”
“Your cock is so good,” You whine, trying to fuck yourself back on him. Your pussy is so wet that every thrust makes an audible noise, ringing throughout your room. If anyone walked past now they’d hear the debauchery, and you’re not sure you’d even care. “Fuck, Jisung- Jisung, you’re big. Please, please, more, I need more!”
“Okay, okay,” He moans, and then his hips speed up. His balls slap against your asshole with every thrust, his cock pistoning into you at a pace that has you wailing. The headboard slams against the wall. “Oh, fuckin’- baby, this puusssy.”
“It feels so good. Your cock is stretching me out so good, baby-“
“Fuck, wait,” He whines, pulling out sharply. When you look down between his legs his cock is painfully hard, and his pubic hair is drenched with you. The sight makes you even more eager to get him back inside of you, but Jisung grabs the base of his cock tightly, his chest heaving. “I- I’ll cum if you talk like that. Fuck, this is so embarrassing!”
“I want you to cum,” You insist, leaning up on your elbows. Your pussy is still leaking steadily onto your bedsheets, and you make grabby hands at your boy to try and get him back inside of you. “You made me cum so good in your mouth, Sungie, c’mon. Make yourself cum with my pussy.”
“Oh my God,” He moans, eyes half lidded, shaking his head in disbelief. “You’re dirty. My fucking dream, holy shit.”
He leans over you once more, pushing his cock inside of you. It slides back in easily with another wet noise, and you moan, smiling with delight. “Mm, fuck this pussy, baby, c’mon.”
“I- fuck, okay,” He keens, nodding. His teeth bite into his lower lip almost painfully, and you kiss his neck while he starts to fuck into you again. With a quick reposition you let your thighs fall apart and further back, and his cock starts to hit your g-spot incessantly. He pulls away from you, head lolling into your neck. His breaths fan over your skin, hot and heavy. “You’re so wet, why are you- how are you so wet, baby? This pussy, fucking- I’m gonna cum. I’m so close, I’m so close, please-“
The shred of logic has left your brain. His cock feels so good, thick and pressing inside of you. You have to let him do it. “Baby. Baby, do y’wanna- I’m on the pill, baby,” You say, breathless. His pace stops, hips halting, and he makes a confused noise. “Cum inside. Creampie this hole, Sungie, I know you want to.”
“Oh my fucking- baby? My baby, can I?” He wails, head pulling up to look at you. You catch sight of tears brewing in his eyes, glassy and unshed. “Baby, please, I’m gonna cum, please, where-? Baby?”
“Inside of me, Sungie,” You wrap your legs around him, pulling him inside of you, deep. You know he could get out of it if he wanted to, but he doesn’t, hips starting to pick up inside of you again. It’s fast, desperate and he keens, nodding. “You gonna fill me up, yeah?”
“Yeah. Y-yeah, yes, oh- I’m gonna fill you up,” Jisung’s words are slurred, quiet, and you let him fuck into you over and over. With a sharp noise, his hips slow once more, and you feel a rush of additional wetness inside of you. It’s warm, and you run your fingers through his hair while he fucks his cum inside of you. “Fuck. Baby, you’re so good to me, so good. Lettin’ me breed your cunt, and- and- oh. I’m still-“
He’s still cumming. It floods out of his cock and into your pussy steadily, and you giggle, feeling sated. Your delighted state of mind only lasts a second, because he pulls out sharply and wiggles down on the bed, attaching his mouth to your cunt. He’s eating his own cum out of you.
“Oh! Oh, Jisung, you’re- you’re dirty, Sungie, ah-“ You whine, fingers moving to his hair again. He licks you over and over until you’re wailing with it, your own tears brimming in your eyes from the overstimulation. Your hole feels stretched, a feeling you’re sure you could get used to, and you shake through a second orgasm.
Jisung’s quick to lean over you again, and then his thumb moves to your chin. He opens your mouth firmly, spitting your combined release into your mouth, and you moan, letting him press his tongue between your lips afterwards.
It’s messy and you let him kiss you for a bit, slow, languid, passionate kisses that have your core almost throbbing for more, if you weren’t so satisfied. Jisung’s soft cock presses against your tummy, wet with your combined arousal, and then he flops down next to you with a huff.
“God, I could go again,” He admits, hand running through his sweat mussed hair. When you turn to him, he’s grinning from ear to ear, and you giggle. He looks at you with a satisfied expression. “You’re the best. That was literally like, the best thing I’ve ever felt in my life. Even more than when I win some fight against an alien, or something.”
“Alien?” You ask, and then you remember. “Oh, yeah. Kinda forgot about that.”
“You forgot about me saving your life?!” He shrieks, thrashing around on the bed in a tantrum. “Seriously, if I wasn’t in love with you I would- ah. Oh.”
You blanch, blinking at him. It’s easy to ignore that you’re both naked when he’s just dropped a bombshell on you like that, and you let out a giggle. “That was sweet. I’m in love with you too, for the record.”
You’re attacked in a flurry of kisses, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. You’re sure Han Jisung intrigues you just as much as his superhero alterego does, so it’s easy to accept.
#juno’s fics ♡#han jisung smut#han jisung x you#han jisung fic#han jisung fanfiction#han jisung x reader#han jisung imagines#jisung smut#jisung fic#jisung fanfiction#stray kids smut#stray kids fic#stray kids fanfiction#stray kids x you#stray kids fanfic#stray kids fics#stray kids x reader#stray kids scenarios#stray kids imagines#skz fic#skz fanfic#skz smut#skz imagines#skz scenarios
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Okay, I've been nerd sniped, I'm sorry
NOTE: If you're going to reblog just to say "not reading that" or some other rude shit, DON'T. I've seen so many notifications of people just saying they couldn't be bothered to read it. I don't know if it's just that they don't see how incredibly rude and disheartening that is or if they know and don't care, but either way it really hurts to see, so please don't reblog if it's just to tell me you won't read it.
So let's go through the canonical likelihood they could each beat Goku. For the sake of keeping canon, we'll keep groups/pairs together if they would never reasonably be apart for something like this. Long post below the cut.
So first up are the ones I see that would, without a doubt, beat Goku.
Saiki K
Saiki is an omnipotent psychic/psionic with quite literally every single possible power out there. Now, this on its own isn't enough to beat Goku. Versatility doesn't mean everything, but Saiki is also powerful enough to rewrite the genetics and reality of everything within range, and his range is, so far, "Earth".
So this, on its own, would allow him to rewrite Goku's biology to make him Human. Bye bye zenkai boosts, bye bye Saiyan transformations. And Saiki, with his powers, has no trouble beating a Human of any caliber if he truly wanted to. And for those who ask "Why would he ever fight Goku?"
One simple reason: Goku would sense his immense power, and be excited for a fight. Goku is respectful enough to not force one if he's refused, but he's persistent enough to badger Saiki until he's given a chance. And Saiki, being Saiki, would simply take off one of his limiters, or both, and rewrite reality as such: "Being an alien isn't possible", thereby making it effective immediately that Goku must be lying/insane, and he is, in fact, Human. Easy win for Saiki.
And for those who would argue against this, bear in mind, the funniest way to beat Goku in this instance would be to simply make him weaker than Saiki, and Saiki is a gag character from a gag series, and it's already been shown in the world of Dragon Ball, and again in Dragon Ball Super, that Goku is incapable of defeating a gag character regardless of that characters canonical ability.
Saiki could win without gag character status, but even in the instance of Goku "beating" him, the gag would turn out to be that Saiki only pretended to get beaten, and is actually entirely unharmed because it was the easiest way to get Goku to leave him alone. Followed by a reveal that Goku will still show up now and then to ask for sparring matches, to drive the point home.
Popeye
Gag character. Would get beaten handily, crawl his way to spinach, and then be exactly as strong as he needs to be to take Goku down in however many hits is funniest.
Bugs Bunny
The gag character to end all gag characters. Someone on this hellsite once described Bugs as a "Trickster God who traps us in our own societal expectations" or some such. Like convincing Thanos to remove the Infinity Gauntlet by establishing a security checkpoint with a metal detector and shaming him into cooperating by telling him there's others waiting.
He could beat Goku in a billion ways, and each and every one of them would involve some shenanigan like Goku throwing a spirit bomb, Bugs showing up behind him holding it, saying "Ehhh, can you hold this for a second?" and as soon as Goku takes it and Bugs is off-screen, it would explode and Goku would be a pile of ashes with blinking eyes. Bugs would win because Bugs' gag is that...well, he simply can't be beaten.
The Warner Trio
Gag trio. Yakko, Wakko, and Dot would snark, sass, and sarcastic-joke their way into the scene, and they would spend the entire time poking fun at him, roasting his look, being unfazed by his attacks because "Nice laser show but we didn't bring our glowsticks." and just being too unbothered to care.
They would undoubtedly annoy Goku into admitting defeat simply to get away from them.
Road Runner
Gag character. Would force Goku to chase him, Goku would fire some blasts, chase him around, and inevitably be led right into the path of a blast he fired earlier to be disintegrated by it.
Pop Team Epic
I know nothing about this series except that it is a gag series. They are gag characters. That means Goku is inherently incapable of beating them.
ASDF Guy
Gag character. Could beat Goku with a simple "Hello, Mine-Turtle!" or "I like Trains."
Heart Diagram
Goku was literally killed by a heart virus in Future Trunks' timeline. This is one that has actually canonically already killed Goku.
Chowder
Gag character. Would likely be after S-Cells for some recipe and need to take Goku's as he's "The only Saiyan in this episode!" or some such, thereby ending the fight with a shot of Chowder wearing Goku's Gi for comedic effect while Dahl stirs raw Super Saiyan aura in a pot to hint that Chowder killed Goku for his S-Cells.
Force Ghost Trio
Gag versions of serious characters, and also ghosts. Goku is canonically unable to beat ghosts or gag characters, and these guys are both.
Those are the ones that would, without a doubt, beat Goku.
Now, let's go over the ones that could, potentially, be it likely or unlikely.
Kirby
Kirby is often considered a gag character, but he isn't. He has a very specific level of power, even if that level of power is "fuck you" levels of power. Kirby has beaten Gods, but so has Goku, even more often and with greater ease. However, Kirby has absorption and power-theft. Kirby could, potentially, absorb Goku (he isn't the brightest and Kirby has his unassuming appearance on his side) and take on his strongest form, including its powerup, and given Kirby in base form is likely more powerful than Goku in base form (Goku needed SSJ to scare Supreme Kai, Kirby beats Gods in base), it's possible Kirby would be more powerful than Goku with the same power up.
Kevin McCallister
Okay, hear me out.
Kevin is technically a gag character, BUT. He is not TRULY a gag character. He just happens to be a comedy character.
So he isn't guaranteed to win, but he could still possibly do so. How you ask?
Goku has been somewhat injured or lightly shaken by the following: planet-shattering attacks. Punches that rock the universe. Energy blasts so potent they would destroy entire galaxies.
Goku has been rendered inconsolable from the pain of the following: chest pain and a half-heartedly, boredly tossed pebble.
It is canon that when Goku and the other fighters in the series are expecting an attack or primed for battle, they are protected by their ki, like armor. It's how they're able to knock away attacks that would destroy planets, or put their "bare" hands on plasma energy that would normally burn the skin off you from a mile away let alone touching it.
This is why when Krillin threw the rock at Goku, it left him in agony and bruised him despite Goku being in Super Saiyan form at the time. This is why Chi-Chi is able to injure Goku regardless of how strong he gets.
So, how does this relate to Kevin being able to beat him? It's everything. It's critical information.
Kevin McCallister's entire M.O. is unexpected attacks. You open a door, you see a bucket fall, think it's over, turns out no, second bucket pulled by the first, second bucket is full of paint and open, you're blinded, you get your bearings, you take a step and feel cars, you smirk and step over them only to find marbles, you slip, you land on the cars which turn out to have been rigged to break easier to let loose a single thumbtack which is now firmly stuck in your back or butt. You bolt upright only to slam your head on a 2x4 that was rigged to hang down from a rope when you fell because your impact shook things enough to make it fall from a precarious perch above.
You get the idea. Every time you think it's safe to let your guard down, that's when the next wave hits. So you say "well he would stop letting his guard down" right? You fool. You know nothing of Goku. He would never put his guard UP. This is a human child, Goku can sense his pitiful power level. His strength? His speed? His ki? Weak. Pathetic. Nothing. A scouter wouldn't even register his power it's so low.
Goku never raises his guard to Chi-Chi, or to Bulma, or to Hercule. He does not raise his defense against normal, powerless, non-combative humans.
"BUT KEVIN IS COMBATIVE" No. He isn't. Goku can sense intent, power, and location. But Kevin isn't actively intending to hurt Goku. He's intending to protect himself and his home. He's not actively wanting to hurt Goku, he's just wanting Goku to leave. He doesn't have power to threaten Goku with, so Goku won't pick up on any threatening aura. And while Goku could simply instant transmission to Kevin and do what he will, we're not talking about how Goku could win, we're going over the fact Kevin could POSSIBLY win.
Enough injury and Goku is down for the count. Otherwise, Goku leaves to avoid further injury, and thereby admits defeat. Both cases, Kevin wins.
Shedinja
This one took me...quite a while. I had to do a lot of extra research for this. So, my immediate thought was Shedinja is a Ghost type, so ghost rules, right? Nah. Bug and Ghost type, and they are the physical shell left behind that has been reanimated. So they very much are physical beings, and given their ability to faint in the games and show they are capable of being physically damaged.
But There's a real case to be made for Shedinja beating Goku.
It can learn Ghost type moves, which operate on ghost-logic, and therefore are a canon weakness Goku is known to have. So things like Shadow Ball, Hex, Curse, and the like would all effect Goku regardless of Ki or form.
It also has access to Wonder Guard, which renders it "immune to all damage types that are not Super-Effective". For those unaware, we can actually attribute Typings to Goku's moves based on attributes and traits they share with Pokemon moves. His melee is, by nature, Fighting type, which Shedinja is immune to. In fact, Shedinja is immune to ALL attack types except Flying, Rock, Ghost, Dark, and Fire type moves, which are all Super Effective.
Goku's most common methods would actually fall under Fighting and Normal type attacks. "But his Ki blasts-" would be Normal type moves. You want proof?
Focus Energy is Normal Type. Quick Attack is Normal Type. Self Destruct is Normal Type. Techno Blast is Normal Type. Tera Blast is Normal Type. These are all energy based moves similar to ki blasts. Know what other energy based move is Normal Type? Hyperbeam. Which is almost identical to the Kamehameha and every other beam attack in DBZ.
Those few attacks Goku has that aren't going to be Normal Type will be Fighting Type.
Shedinja is Immune to all Normal and Fighting Type moves. Goku literally can not damage Shedinja, but Shedinja can damage Goku through Ghost Type moves. Shedinja can beat Goku. But why is it not "absolutely will" beat him? Because Goku can also transform his Ki and if he finds out Shedinja is vulnerable to fire, he can and will use that to his advantage.
That's who could potentially beat Goku. Here's who absolutely could not.
Saitama
I forgot to go over Saitama originally so here's the edit that features that analysis. Bear in mind I am saying this as someone who has seen Seasons 1 and 2 of the show AND is aware of some of the events of the manga.
A lot of reblogs over Saitama claim he is a gag character. But there is a case to be made that he is NOT. What is that case you ask? Well, for the sake of fairness, here is how I am handling gag characters: if their gag is in effect in 100% of all cases (such as looney tunes like Bugs or Road Runner) or if the gag is triggered in 100% of all cases (such as Saiki K or Chowder) then they are a True Gag Character and will insta-win.
However, if their gag has failed (such as Wario, or, yes, even Saitama) in ANY case, then it CAN fail again, and the fairest fight is one against two non-gag characters, so we can safely apply non-gag Saitama here since his gag has failed and Goku meets the conditions to cause it to fail again, which I'll explain.
So, first off, how does his gag fail? Well, his gag is that he kills everything instantly in one hit, unless he actively chooses not to. So we can safely say his gag fails if any of the following are true: he fails to instantly kill an enemy with a single hit while intending to do so, OR if he fails to kill an enemy with a serious hit intended to kill.
He meets both of these conditions. Boros survived for several seconds AFTER Saitama hit him with a Serious Punch. It was a single hit that intended to kill...But he didn't kill Boros INSTANTLY with it. Another example of his gag failing, if that doesn't satisfy, is Garou. Garou, in the manga, has survived MULTIPLE Serious Punches with intent to kill. This, on its own, is proof Saitama's Serious Punch does in fact have a limit to its output. It also proves his gag can, and does, fail against certain opponents.
So the next thing we need to look at is similarities between Garou and Boros to identify what they share that could possibly allow them to get around Saitama's gag, or to nullify it entirely. First similarity is that both are determined to have a good, satisfying fight. Boros crossed the stars seeking one, and Garou sought to become a true Monster powerful enough to force every hero, every do-gooder, to unite under one banner just to take him down. They both seek a battle to end all battles, even if Garou's intention is to end it in his favor, not simply enjoy the fight.
The second similarity is that they have incredibly unique circumstances, even by OPM standards. Garou is a man who has always felt love for the bad guy, he looks to the monsters as inspirations, as the misunderstood and the victimized by those claiming to be heroes. He's trained by an S-Class hero, and has developed into a being of unimaginable power in the pursuit of his dream. Very much a true foil to Saitama, who looked to heroes in comics as inspirations, as the righteous and unshakably moral, self-taught through and through and developed into a being of unimaginable power in the pursuit of HIS dream. Garou is, in this way, a reflection of Saitama, the Tails to Saitama's Heads, the dark to his light.
Boros on the other hand is an alien, forced to become strong by his homeworld's unforgiving conditions, developing a level of power necessary to survive and then some, and on realizing he was far too powerful for his own good, he sought purpose, meaning, and when he heard he may find a worthy opponent, he did everything he could to achieve that future, to realize his dream of facing a foe that would give him a true challenge.
So what are the similarities we can identify? Notably unique circumstances even by OPM standards, sharing strong similarities to Saitama's desires or dreams (Garou dreaming of becoming the greatest Monster vs Saitama dreaming of becoming the greatest Hero, Boros feeling lost in life and seeking a worthy foe vs Saitama feeling bored with living and wishing for the sensation of a real fight again), and the desire for a serious and ultimate battle.
Goku fits ALL of these conditions. He is an alien sent to Earth for his protection, grew up in hostile conditions (surviving on his own for most of his childhood, constant battles with Nation-level threats throughout his teen years, constant battles with world or universe-level threats throughout his adulthood), trained extensively until he was the best of the best, has the ultimate dream of a truly satisfying battle (a dream he routinely seeks out by facing down powerful foes), and being entirely bored with mundane life because there's absolutely no challenge to it, not to mention the fact he has the ultimate dream of becoming the strongest, something he shares with Saitama's pre-OPM self.
Since Goku fits ALL the conditions needed to make this battle exempt from the gag, we will NOT be considering it, as Saitama is not a True Gag Character, and Goku fitting conditions for nullifying it means we can assume actual power limits and such.
So let's look at feats of power. Saitama's Serious Side Hop technique allowed him to create AT LEAST 60 after-images (based on the manga panel) which, when compared with Sonic's 4, means Saitama was moving 15x faster than Sonic in that moment (bare minimum). An afterimage like that is created by moving at least 572mph, stopping in each position for at least 1/255th of a second (any less and the human eye can't pick up on it), so by moving from position A to B for 1/255th of a second and back to A, going 572mph between the two, you create the afterimage.
Sonic creates 4 simultaneously, meaning he needs to move to 3 positions and then back to starting position, or go from A to B, B to A, A to C, C to A, A to D, and repeat.
This means Sonic, to move into each of these positions in less than 1/255th of a second, would need to be moving ~4x faster than the speed for one afterimage. That puts him as moving at 2,228mph while creating those 4 afterimages. Given he is capable of Mach 5 speeds (he's said to be hypersonic) this feat is easy for him, as Mach 5 is 3,805mph. I assume, just as it's easier to move at top speed in a straight line than at sharp turns for a normal person, it's likely more difficult to create such consistent afterimages and so the difficulty that makes it his best attack is from the technique and reaction involved, not the speed itself.
In any case, if Saitama made at least 60 afterimages, putting him at 15x faster than Sonic's speed while creating 4, that puts Saitama's speed at 33,420mph just to account for the 60 we can count in the manga panel. This means 33,420 is the MINIMUM speed we can assume for Saitama's max ability. To be generous, given he wasn't winded after doing that and given he was able to react incredibly easily to the near-instant directional changes, I'll be kind and put his maximum speed at 10,000x this number.
That puts Saitama's speed at 334,200,000mph, or 49.8% the speed of light. We'll be kind again and say 50% the speed of light, round up that last .2%
So we have a speed value for Saitama. Now what about Goku? Well, let's look at Goku on Namek, for a moment. Base form Goku, at the start of his fight against Freeza. Goku, BEFORE his super saiyan transformation, was moving at 3.26 (we'll round down to 3) times the speed of light. How do I get this number? Buckle up, it's involved.
The Namekian ship Bulma, Krillin, and Gohan took to get to Namek made it from Earth to Jupiter in "seconds". That means less than a minute, so we'll say it took them 1 minute just to lowball it and to have a solid starting number. Jupiter, when the two planets are at their closest to each other (assuming shorter distance for slower speed, another lowball), is 365,000,000 miles from Earth. This means the Namekian ship moved 365mil miles in 1 minute.
That puts the Namekian ship at a speed of 21.9 billion miles per hour. They made it to Namek in 30 days of travel. The ship Goku took to Namek made the trip in 5 days. That means Goku's ship is 6 times faster than the Namekian ship. Don't worry, the ship speed DOES matter in this, I promise you.
So Goku's ship moves at 131,400,000,000mph. That's 131 billion, 400 million miles per hour. Or 195x the speed of light.
Why does the ship speed matter so much, you might ask?
Because King Kai could visually keep up with the ship. He was able to track Goku's progress with ease, and could see his ships movements without problems. This means King Kai's eyes and brain are capable of perceiving and processing things that move at 195x the speed of light.
Why does that matter? Because Super Saiyan is canonically a 50x multiplier to ALL base ability. Strength, speed, durability, etc.
And Goku, in Super Saiyan, was moving so fast King Kai stated he could no longer keep up. King Kai, capable of seeing and processing the input of vision on a ship moving 195x the speed of light, could not see or process the input of vision on Super Saiyan Goku.
We'll lowball it, and say Goku only needed to move 1 mph faster than 195x the speed of light for King Kai to lose track of him. So whatever value we get, we'll add 1mph to for Goku's base form speed.
So 195x the speed of light +1mph. 195/50=3.9x the speed of light. That's 2,616,900,000mph, adding in the extra mph makes it 2,616,900,001mph. So Base Form Goku moves at ~3.9x the speed of light, ON NAMEK. Super Saiyan is a 50x multiplier, putting him at ~195x the speed of light. Super Saiyan 2 is a 100x multiplier to Base, so 390x the speed of light. Super Saiyan 3 is a 400x multiplier, so 1,560x the speed of light. Super Saiyan God is a 20,000 multiplier so 78,000x the speed of light. Super Saiyan Blue is a 1 million times multiplier, so 3,900,000x the speed of light. And lastly, Mastered Ultra Instinct is a 300 billion times multipler, so 1.17 trillion times the speed of light.
Why did I bother going through all those multipliers? He wins in Base as of Namek saga lol. Anyway, continuing on to strength now that we've established Base Goku on Namek could move 3.9x faster than the Speed of Light while Saitama could only move at 0.5x the Speed of Light.
Strength. Okay. This one is harder to gauge, but we CAN gauge it. We'll go in terms of level of damage, so human level (would be on-par or less than peak human ability), town level (small towns), city level (large cities), nation level (an entire nation, less than a continent), continent level (one or more nations that span an entire continent), world-surface level (the surface of an Earth-sized planet), Planetary (capable of destroying an entire Earth-sized planet), Solar (capable of destroying a solar system), Galactic (capable of destroying a galaxy), multi-galactic (capable of destroying many galaxies), Universal (capable of destroying an entire universe), Multiversal (capable of destroying multiple universes).
We'll start with Goku this time. Goku's punches are, as of the Battle of Gods arc, strong enough to match Beerus perfectly to nullify the shockwaves of Beerus' attacks. Mind you, the mere shockwave of Beerus' attacks are enough to rip and tear the fabric of the universe itself, as stated by Elder Kai. This puts Goku's punches as being powerful enough to tear the fabric of the universe in when he first obtained Super Saiyan God. Why does this matter for Base Goku? Because Base Goku retained his SSJG power, as stated by Beerus.
So Goku in Base, post-battle of gods, is physically capable of punches that can tear apart the universe from the aftershocks alone. This is important to note because Elder Kai could physically feel the shockwaves from the World of the Kais. This makes Goku Universe-level in strength. This means Goku, post-BoG, in Super Saiyan is 50x stronger than what's needed for Universal, while Goku, as of current manga canon (assuming he didn't actually get any stronger since BoG and is simply more powerful due to new transformations) is capable of a form (Mastered Ultra Instinct) that puts him 300 billion times stronger than minimum Universe level strength.
And Saitama? Where does he fit here? Well, I thought this gap would be bigger honestly? But after researching, it seems the gap isn't all that big. Saitama has, canonically, with a Serious Punch, snuffed out an entire cylinder of stars and presumably every planet, moon, asteroid, and more, at a distance surpassing that of our solar system, and with a diameter surpassing it as well. This puts Saitama's power (if we lowball it MASSIVELY) at Solar. He could, in a single punch, destroy our entire solar system, and he wouldn't even need to be serious to do it. It's worth noting this is coupled with Garou's own Saitama-level Serious Punch, so we can assume this level of power is double Saitama's own.
So how do we determine the specifics? Well, he cleared an area large enough to cover, presumably, half the area of stars destroyed in the path of his and Garou's serious punches.
Through future revelations in the series we learn they didn't "destroy" every star in that path, but likely only several were destroyed, and possibly a galaxy, while the remainder of the void left behind was from the shockwave forcing every other star within range into a new position, creating a void in space that all stars had been moved from, save the few that were in the DIRECT path of their attack.
Another theory is that the Serious Punch^2 simply distorted the photons in the area, resulting in the appearance of a massive void, and this theory is based on the angles in the manga and comments made by other characters that paint Earth as the only thing in real danger from the power of the attack.
To be fair to Saitama, where we would lowball Goku, we'll highball Saitama, and say the Serious Punch^2 outright destroyed every star in the area. That level of power would, naturally, have shockwaves that push nearby stars out of the way AND distort photons in the area, resulting in a massive cone of destruction surrounded by a large cylinder of force.
This puts Saitama at, quite easily, multi-galactic level of strength.
But why did I say this gap isn't as big as I expected? One simple thing. Saitama has canonically punched his way into a different dimension in the manga. That means he's capable of brute-forcing his way out of the bounds of his universe. He is capable of physically destroying the fabric of the universe.
Meaning Saitama's strength is, bare minimum, Universal in close proximity. That puts him, strength-wise, on par with Goku, who through training has become stronger than Super Buu (who was so strong he could shout his way out of the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, a dimension separate from our own), meaning Goku is also Universal in close proximity.
So...while I expected Saitama to be ~Planetary, MAYBE he'd be Solar at most...Research indicates he's actually Universal, or near-Universal, meaning the fight may not be too far a gap after all.
Goku may have Saitama beat on speed (given recent manga events in OPM, I'm willing to allow that Saitama is faster than light speed, but Goku having as many forms as he does (Kaioken, which he can combine with other forms and can hit a multiplier of x100 on top of whatever power he currently has, SSJ1-3, SSJG, SSJB, MUI) means even if Saitama matches Base Goku, he's likely not going to stand up to his stronger forms).
But on strength, I'd wager they're close enough for this fight to be one hell of a battle.
What about Durability? After all, all the strength in the world won't save you if you're as easy to kill as a simple bullet to the head, right?
Goku has withstood universe-ripping punches (from Beerus, the God of Destruction, and based on comments in the manga he's one of the stronger Gods of Destruction too), dimension-tearing attacks (from Goku Black, pre-Fusion), energy blasts that even the Gods of Destruction were nervous of (from Jiren during the Tournament of Power), and he survived multiple blasts from Granolah post-wish buff, who was renowned for his sniping power pre-wish, and post-wish was as powerful as he would be if he had spent every single second of the next 147 years training non-stop with the absolute healthiest amount of rest and physical care, making him, presently, as powerful as he would be at the END of that time, with the price paid being that he only had 3 years to live as he lost 1 year of his lifespan for each power boost.
It was also clear that Granolah was the strongest in the universe...at the time of his wish. Goku and Vegeta, who were already on their way, were not as powerful as Granolah even with their transformations. They became stronger during their fight with him, and stronger still during their fight with Gas (who was more powerful than Granolah after Gas transformed and mastered his transformation).
So we can safely assume Goku is Multiversal in Durability, as he himself was able to output Universal damage with each punch, and he was able to survive hits from beings drastically stronger than himself.
What about Saitama? Well, Saitama was able to survive the force of the Serious Punch^2 and he was able to casually bust his way into another dimension. So his Serious Punch, if he wanted it to, could easily destroy the barrier between universes or dimensions.
And given he survived the force of two of them impacting each other, I would put Saitama at, bare minimum, Universe-level durability. But given he was able to survive prolonged battle against Garou, who is a Power Mimic and has shown Saitama-level strength, we can safely assume Saitama is BEYOND Universal-level durability, and so we can put him right there with Goku at Multiversal durability.
So what do we have so far?
Goku has speed equal to, in Base Form, 3.9x lightspeed, and 1.17 trillion times lightspeed in his most powerful form.
Goku has Universal level strength in Base Form, 300 billion times that in his most powerful form.
Goku has Universal durability in Base Form, Multiversal durability in his most powerful form (300 billion times his Base Form's durability).
Saitama has speed equal to, at minimum, 0.5x lightspeed, and at maximum, if we highball it, 2x lightspeed.
Saitama has Universal strength.
Saitama has Universal durability at minimum, and Multiversal durability at maximum.
At this point, I'm convinced the speed difference between Base Goku and Saitama means nothing. Saitama's durability means even with Base Goku moving at his top speed, his impacts won't be enough to beat Saitama. At top speed Base Goku may be putting out Universal damage, but he's not putting out enough to actually BEAT Saitama. Only injure.
Making me rethink my "Goku wins in Base lol" claim earlier, how dare you!
Anyway, at this point, Goku would HAVE to transform to beat Saitama. His ability to sense power and Saitama's evident inability to suppress it (as evidenced by multiple characters sensing his ungodly power even while Saitama is completely relaxed) would mean Goku would know, right away, he needs to transform for the fight.
Saitama's durability means Goku would likely need Super Saiyan 2 or 3, or, more likely, SSJG. Super Saiyan God's multiplier to Granolah-arc Goku, after all of his training with Whis and Vegeta, would most likely be enough to beat Saitama. And given SSJG is enough to "most likely" beat him, then Super Saiyan Blue (aka Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan, the form above SSJG) is surely enough, and Mastered Ultra Instinct (a form drastically more powerful than SSJB) is absolutely more than enough to beat Saitama.
And given Goku's mastery over the Kaioken technique, and he's been shown to enter Kaioken x 20 while in Super Saiyan Blue for fair amounts of time as of the Moro saga, meaning even if SSB wasn't enough, given MUI is overkill, it's possible SSB x10 or x20 would be.
The point being, Goku wins this fight due to a combination of technique, experience, and power from his transformations. Given Goku is faster than Saitama and would sense his power as Saitama doesn't know how to suppress it, nothing Saitama could do would be a surprise attack to Goku, meaning Goku would have ample opportunity to react to everything Saitama does.
And given the relatively similar strengths the two bear, Goku would recognize he needs to transform to beat Saitama's output.
And given Saitama's greater durability than Base Goku, and greater durability than even what Saitama himself can put out, Goku would see he needs to transform to have enough of his own output to beat Saitama's durability.
Conclusion: Goku would absolutely win this fight, BUT...I'll give Saitama credit where it's due.
Out of everyone on the entire list, Saitama is the fairest matchup here, and the one most likely to give Goku a truly satisfying fight, given it would be a battle on par with those Goku has enjoyed most.
Kingdom Hearts Mickey
K.H. Mickey has a clear power limit and ability set. He is not strong enough, fast enough, smart enough, or durable enough to beat Goku, but he is just enough of a threat for Goku to actually put his guard up, which is why K.H. Mickey would lose; Goku would see it as a fight, unlike with Kevin.
Crash Bandicoot
Crash isn't nearly powerful enough to be a threat to Goku, but he IS insane enough to push Goku to hostility. Goku would feel the need to put effort into getting him away and that is his downfall.
Hatsune Miku
Goku would assume she is a Red Ribbon android and fight her on assumption she's trying to kill him or bring harm to Earth. He would hit her full force expecting her to tank it and she would keel over dead instantly.
Wario
Everything he could possibly do, the Red Ribbon Army has tried and done better, and they've never beaten Goku. Neither would he.
Sans
Lost to a child with slightly above average human determination, and standard human strength and speed. He does not beat Goku.
And just because you specifically told me not to @ you, have this :)
@that-one-enby-onyx
#dbz#goku#can they beat goku#kingdom hearts#one punch man#chowder#crash bandicoot#medical diagram#road runner#bugs bunny#looney tunes#popeye#pop culture#kirby#wario#hatsune miku#saiki k#sans#undertale#shedinja#pokemon#the warner siblings#yakko wakko and dot
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Humans are weird: Best form of Revenge
Alien: What is the best way to get back at someone you despise?
Human: Why are you asking me?
Alien: Because humans are renowned for their ability to plan elaborate revenge schemes against those who have slighted them.
Human: On behalf of the human race I am offended by that.
Alien: I have witnessed you slowly drive your co-worker insane by moving everything in their office one inch to the left every day for 3 months.
Human: To be fair I only kept doing that because they refused to pay me back my $1.50 I loaned them for lunch.
Alien: *Stares at human with mocking eyebrows
Human: Fine, I see your point.
Human: Alright, here is what you do….
Alien: Wait, do you not wish to know why I want revenge?
Human: No.
Alien: Really?
Human: Yes.
Alien: Oh….okay.
Alien: So what should I do?
Human: Ignore them.
Alien: What?
Human: Ignore them, diminish them; make them feel beneath your notice.
Alien: That seems rather childish for an elaborate revenge plot.
Human: That is because I haven’t expanded it.
Human: If they come to you to gloat about something they did, anything, ask them who they are.
Human: When they explain who they are and how you should know them, still act like you have no idea who they are.
Human: If they continue to persist about how you should know them simply, and this is important, shrug and say “If you say so”, and then leave.
Alien: How is this revenge?
Human: Because in their eyes now they will think that they need to prove themselves somehow for you to notice them.
Human: Like a kid trying to win his drunken father’s affection.
Alien: That’s rather dark.
Human: So is revenge; keep up.
Human: Now they will continue to come back to you day after day trying to win your notice and you will continue to dismiss them or give them the bare minimum attention.
Human: If you want to get further under their skin start talking up someone else in their presence; someone who you would consider more of a rival then they are.
Alien: How would that work?
Human: Like this. *In mocking alien voice “Yes, yes, I’m sure you’ve done rather well for yourself; but not as much as Thomson on the 3rd floor. That bastard has been upselling me all week and I’m convinced he’s the one stealing my parking space.”
Alien: What good will that do to bring in someone else?
Human: By actually acknowledging someone who your target thinks is beneath them, they will further become enraged as you’ve just reinforced how little they appear on your radar.
Alien: And that works?
Human: Indeed.
Human: You need to treat your displeasure towards someone as gift to them, for you have deemed their existence worthy of acknowledgement.
Alien: Alright, I guess I could give it a shot.
------------------------------
*Two Months later
Human: So how’s the revenge going?
Alien: I’m not sure.
Human: What do you mean you’re not sure?
Alien: I mean they came up to me today and offered to have sex with me.
Human: Oh….in that case they must be very desperate for you to notice them.
Alien: What should I do?
Human: If you want to keep up with the revenge have sex with them, then afterwards don’t speak with them.
Human: If they come up to you and demand an explanation say that the sex was so bad you wanted to forget that moment by never speaking with them again.
Alien: ……………….
Alien: Who broke you to make you so devious?
Human: *Grins as they sip their drink
Human: I’m human; we were made broken.
#humans are insane#humans are weird#humans are space oddities#humans are space orcs#writing#original writing#niqhtlord01#funny#revenge#long game#scifi
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Something about Jacobi’s clone in “time to kill” really messes me up. Because, like, after you listen to the episode where you find out that Lovelace isn’t the original Lovelace, we also find out that the clones don’t actually know that they aren’t the original person. The Jacobi clone was completely convinced that he was the original, so when the others left him outside, his last thought was probably that his friends had just made the worst possible mistake they could have made in that situation, that they had left him, the real Jacobi, to die and now they’re all in danger because there is something else that isn’t him on the ship with them. He died thinking that theres this thing that’s taking his place. This is the worse case scenario and there was nothing he could do about it. On the other hand, the real Jacobi, (assuming that the real Jacobi was the one inside the ship the whole time), had to listen to himself die. And i bet that after he finds out about how Lovelace is an alien, he thinks to himself, what if he isn’t the real Jacobi, that the real Jacobi died when they left him outside, and that he is the alien and just doesn’t know it. Because how could he know that? Lovelace didn’t, and he would never have any solid proof that he doesn’t know either. I bet it drives him a bit crazy, if he constantly has that thought going through his head.
I dont know. I think about this quite often.
#im pretty sure that the original Jacobi is the one that lived#but i do think that he wonders if that’s true sometimes#but like seriously how fucked up is that#would you rather have your last thought be:#that there is something taking your place and no one will every realize that you aren’t there anymore#or#would you rather have the same thought on loop for the rest of you life:#that what if you are the thing that replaced the real person#the reason that the original person is gone forever#daniel jacobi#isabel lovelace#jacobi wolf 359#lovelace wolf 359#wolf 359#w359#w359 spoilers#wolf 359 podcast
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I remember you posted that you write alien vs predator now, so if possible could you write something about a yandere yautja x chubby!f!reader??? Like maybe she accidentally witnessed some them hunting on earth but as they were going to kill her another yautja grabbed her and ran or fought the others, he’s usually content just watching but she was threatened and he couldn’t stay away…. Or even just headcanons about them and what they’d be like as a partner
Sorry🫣
— Yandere Yautja with a female! chubby mate
Warnings: yandere behavior, talks about chubby reader, and yautja stuff.
A/N: I changed it up a bit and decided to write headcanons about having a darling who is chubby. I hope that’s alright :)
In his planet, or rather culture, female Yautja have a naturally larger and masculine build: muscular thighs, fit hands that’ll be thrown at anybody, and a good athletic build. But, since the day he saw you and touched you? He died at the second, and swore to protect you to all the Gods. And ensuring, you’d be his by the end of the night.
To get it easy — he sees no issue with your size. Generally sees you as a ‘plushy’ and more huggable, there’s nothing wrong with that.
But if he senses you being sad over your weight, he clicks in annoyance. How dare you insult yourself like that? Within seconds, he hikes you up on his shoulders by one hand, showing you that weight doesn’t mean a thing to him, so nor should you care.
It’s no surprise that Yautja’s love heat, and your beloved mate sees you as a heat source. He has to be touching you at every given moment, muzzling his face deeper into your belly rolls as you two sleep in.
Finds your stretch marks remarkable. Scars are a symbol of strength, and are praised highly in the culture and with your lovely Yautja, he views them as a form of scars.
Handsy to a capitalized H, and doesn’t know a thing of personal space. Your skin is so warm and soft, his paws squishing and handling you is his favorite hobby. Adores the scent you have, and uses your thighs as pillows.
Generally would love for you to go naked in the house. Nudity isn’t a source of shame in yautja culture, so he’d be confused if he sees you embarrassed. In all, he admires and wishes for the day to come; imagining himself pulling your clothes off, chirping and clicking in excitement as his hand covers your hips and addicting curves.
Very protective, and whilst that’s guaranteed with his aggressive stance, it’s mustered up a bit because of how gorgeous you are. He’s convinced that if any other ‘ooman, or yautja, sees you – they might get attracted and try to steal you away. He’s ready to fight and tear off limbs if must. Possessive to its finest.
Treats you with the finest things he can find and cook. He cooks you amazing food, ones that leave your mouth salivating, and wakes you up with breakfast in bed; admiring your sleep figure and messy hair from awakening.
Loves to dress you up in clothes, especially if it’s in pelts that he hunted for you. Admires looking at you from behind, smiling like he’s made the day, and stares you down like a mad-man. You’re just so cute, ‘ooman.
—
Masterlist || Please consider reblogging and commenting instead of liking. It helps me as a creator!! Stay well!!
© yandere-kokeshi 2024 — Do not copy, modify, edit, repost, or use my works for ASMR readings, tiktoks, or other content.
#kokeshi!!#yandere blog#yandere x reader#anonymous#yandere#kokeshi anons#male yandere#yandere male#ask#yandere Yautja#yandere alien#yandere alien x reader#yautja#yautja x human#yautja x reader#yautja x you#yandere x female reader#x female reader#x fem!reader#the icons are not mine#they belong to their rightful owners#yandere x chubby reader#x chubby reader#Yatuja x chubby reader#yautja boyfriend#monster bf#monster boyfriend#monster lover#yandere tendencies#yandere x darling
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Relativity Falls Lore Concept- The Oracle and Bill
The Oracle:
I was initially inspired by the Twitter user @SUwu159's depiction of the Oracle in their take on Relativity Falls, and made my own adaptation as I learned about her in canon.
(Assume she can change colors because I couldn't pick what I liked most)
This version of The Oracle isn't malicious per se, and does not desire the same conquest or chaos sought out by Bill. But she likes universes to be organized and quaint (or answers to another high power that demands it), and finds fulfillment in achieving these goals through any means necessary.
The Oracle and Dipper:
(Sorry if this dialogue tastes like a corndog in your mouth. I just needed to write a semi-resolution to Dipper's side of the relationship, ha.)
Getting into the real struggle with the Pines family. Dipper and Mabel don't fight and hold grudges like the Stans (that we've seen of), so my opinion is that they drifted apart in their late teens and twenties, both feeling pressured to be less attached at the hip. My current belief (though I'm very willing to rewrite this section) is that Mabel and Dipper both poured a lot of energy into pretty niche fields, and being very busy meant very short and rare windows to reach out. Both assumed the other was doing bigger and better things and felt self conscious / childish for wanting eachother's company.
I'm still considering Mabel's backstory, since I think she probably hit lower points than Dipper. You know. Starving artist, lol. But Dipper entered into paranormal investigation, pest control, etc. before his ghost + monster catching went far enough for his name to gain some notoriety. Hell, maybe Pacifica's family reached out to him to take care of "rats" that were actually ghosts, cementing his interest in Gravity Falls and giving him a window inter supernatural work.
Dipper was taken on as something of an apprentice to the Oracle 30ish years before canon as word of his good and dangerous deeds spread. However, what was at first a personal dream come true (saving lives with nerd magic) soon became a personal hell as the Oracle began to overwhelm Dipper with knowledge of various futures and universes where everything he cared about could be destroyed. He's always been over prepared and incredibly paranoid, and became obsessed with protecting the world by acting as a partner to the Oracle.
He ends up doing- or not doing- a lot of morally ambiguous things and gaining a lot of enemies. He is too ashamed to face his family- especially Mabel- with what he's done and burden them, giving the Oracle more to use against him to keep him working for her. Basically "you've already done all this and risked it all, there's nowhere to go if you stop now." Eventually this ends in her seeing him fit for her work and convincing him to hide out in and save other universes, which he gets trapped doing for the next three decades.
Little throw away idea: Pacifica could have been an investor or partner, but left as they uncovered secrets about the Northwest family. Maybe she wanted to undo something (debating making any of the Oracle's powers time related just because I hate time travel) or stop a current show of corruption, but Dipper had to stop her for the "greater good."
In the main universe, Mabel goes to Gravity Falls upon news of her brother's disappearance, searching for any loose end to trace back to him.
I love that in canon, Dipper is willing to do anything for Mabel, and Mabel gives it back. Dipper here spends all of his life keeping as many versions of her as safe as he can, and she spends all her life trying go seek him out- maybe even dropping a larger opportunity outside of Gravity Falls for her art and settling on business at the shack. Dipper wants Mabel alive, Mabel wants them both happy. I like the idea that it's Dipper and Mable vs. The Future but the future is a demon, alien thing.
Which leads me to...
Bill Cipher:
I'm actually gonna cover a couple versions of Bill I think are fitting for this AU, because I initially wasn't sure if I wanted him here at all.
Child Bill:
Pretty straight forward. Bill as a baby, child thing is tempting and this is the au where he'd exist. Personally though, I think Ford's friendship with Fidds would be more enriching to his growth, and Bill's personality is so close to Stan's they would likely be competing to fill very similiar roles. (If Bill behaves differenty as kid, I don't know about it.) Honestly, Bill is super similiar to Ford and Stan, and works better as a kind of foil or antagonist because of that (imo). I do find the mental image of Ford carrying Bill around funny. I do not enjoy human bill like, conceptually, so I'm probably never gonna design one as an adult or child, lol.
It would be cool to see a world where Bill didn't accidentally kill his parents though.
Bill - Reincarnated Original
Technically I guess they could all be reincarneted (especially baby Bill), but this version of Bill experienced and holds memories of the original canon events in GF. Beings like Bill and the Oracle can remember recent/soon approaching lives, and catch glimpses of more distant cycles as well.
What I like about Bill's recent role as an antagonist to Ford and Stan is that he constantly describes them in the terms of their worst traits, and sees them through the lens of the roles the world placed on them. In this AU, Bill is the epitome of the past (in this case a past life) coming back to bite the twins. He rattles their progress in communication as well as their sense of inner peace by bringing old Glass Shard Beach issues into Gravity Falls.
(Depicted here-> moments after Ford summons Bill using the same ritual as Gideon.)
The drawback to this is that it feels a lot like covering old ground.
Simply Bill:
This is pretty much just regular old Bill with the same fresh perspective as everyone else, and also the one I'm going with. He tried and failed to get Dipper's trust in the past and had to lay low at the arrival of the Oracle. Once they left, Bill targeted Mabel. I think it could be very interesting for Mabel and Bill to either have a fresh relationship wherein Bill is actively taking advantage of her desperation to find Dipper, or for Bill to be an old betrayal (not romantic, but not dissimilar to the opportunistic exes Stan and Ford have to be wary of and beat back under the rug regardless).
Either he shows himself to Mable early on, or decides that Gravity Falls is both Oracle-free and worth the time after either Ford or Mable summon him. Afterall, 30 years isn't much to him.
Maybe he exists in the background like he's always done, or the kids (being snoopy and disrespectful of Mabel's secrets) discover what Mabel's doing and run into him on their own.
Whether Bill is aware of the original series or not, I think he could be neat to stick in between Stan and Ford again for conflict. My favorite aspect about Relativity Falls is the prospects of the Stans having a larger support system and better tools to help themselves with. Beating Bill faster and better would be the ultimate testament to Mabel and Dipper's skills as functioning role models, even if Mabel is currently blinded by her focus on Dipper.
Stan and Ford will fight and they will make up, but this time maybe they can overcome it on their own.
I also think a good idea is having Ford and Stan's issues be completely Bill free (outside of like an episode or two's worth of relevance, unless he put them into a particularly stinging situation). It would feel fresher and also streamline the plot, lol.
Overview:
- Dipper is stuck travelling the multiverse with the Oracle and keeps himself sane by thinking of Mabel and protecting various versions of her.
- Mabel is investigating his disappearance in Gravity Falls and is working on a portal/portal equivalent with Bill to bring him back.
- The kids may or may not be aware of this.
Looking at the main series of events, I think it'd be neat go back to the apprenticeship conflict, where Ford could be approached by the Oracle (or something else that makes sense) with the promise of being a "hero," but knows better now because of Dipper and his experiences with Bill. It's kind of a more convoluted version of Ford's proposal to Dipper in canon, and they basically learn the same thing, lol. You can hang out with ghosts if you want, but demons are gonna get you. Maybe being a child with siblings is all you need.
(Stan could also be offered this, given the Oracle already knew he- or at least someone with his face- would beat Bill, but I think it's well established he isn't very interested in doing anything without family.)
All in all, things might be a bit crowded with two antagonists. But I do like the concept of Bill's arrival and subsequent chaos triggering Dipper and the Oracle's return to Mabel's dimension. I also love the idea of Bill, the Oracle, and some secret third thing all trying to pull the Pines family apart, and it's like a Man vs. God turned into a Family vs. Destiny thing, idk. Just trying to make it feel bigger.
Thank you for reading all this. It was a lot to draw. Next time I do anything for Relativity Falls, I'm gonna go back to the smaller things like Mabel bonding with the kids and stuff like that.
#fanart#drawing#gravity falls#relativity falls#relativity au#bill cipher#the oracle#oracle#dipper pines#mabel pines#stanford pines#stanley pines#i'm tired#long post#you don't have to read it#but pretty please look at the shitty drawings#they took my a long time collectively
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Moon Song
JJ Maybank x fem!reader
Summery: “The, “wanting-to-be-stepped-on” feeling. Wanting someone to treat you so badly, because at least they’ll treat you at all.”
“You couldn’t have.”
She sobbed quietly, her hands holding nothing more than the threads of his shirt. In the end, it was all she had left. It was all she ever owned. Not his heart, or his peace of mind, but the shirts he ruined that she stayed up all night fixing. The stitching was brand new, it was all so well done. The work that only came from a woman who cared.
“You couldn’t have.”
She repeated, the thread tangling between her fingers. The moon casted over her features, her usually so soft, docile eyes shining with a different, dim despair that stunk of JJ’s name.
“Y/n.” He called out. She wasn’t moving, she was barely breathing right, and yet he was forced to sit and watch her go away through the glimpses of her bone crushing pain he had caused.
Because she couldn’t even look at him anymore. She didn’t see her sweet, attentive boyfriend she thought she had been adoring this whole time. No, she only saw the reflection of his best friend. The one person he swore on all of his stars that meant nothing to him.
And she had stupidly sat and listened to how he thought she was hot, another woman all while she laid in in his arms with a girlish glow, just happy to have been finally held by someone so closely.
“Does she love you?” Y/n asks stupidly, but she has every right to know. Because, unfortunately for the both of them, if she knew it was only a kiss, if it meant nothing, she wouldn’t be able to cut the tether that held them together. She would push down the sinking feeling until it crushed the earth beneath her and sucked it up and stayed because nobody had ever showed an interest in her the way JJ had.
Nobody had ever asked to walk her home because they wanted to see her for just a moment longer. Nobody had ever taken her to the secret hideouts on the island, and nobody had ever taught her how to kiss until JJ sat her down and showed her that it was possible. That it was real.
“I don’t know.” The answer hangs heavy.
Y/n takes a choked breath, her ears ringing.
“Do you love her?”
There’s a heavy silence, it doesn’t last long, but the fact that there had to even be a moment to consider something sends warning bells through her head.
“Shes my best friend.” JJ answers quickly, but it reveals everything.
“Oh god!”
She cries, and she physically crumples in her posture. Her feet scrape against the exposed roots in the dusty backyard that belongs to JJ’s best friend. Theres a grave carved into the trunk and for a moment, Y/n pictures her name stabbed beneath the others. Only, she’ll really be dead.
“But it’s different with you, baby! Believe me, I thought that I wanted her, but it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t like it is with you!”
He swore, he prayed to her like it was the truth, but he was a bad liar, a man who adored to be loved but could not give it.
“You’re sick!” Y/n screamed at him, backing away like he was some poisonous alien, and maybe he was.
“Y/n.”
He pleads, and he follows, and he’s on her heals because they both know if he stays close enough, she’ll stay within his reach. She would wait until he wanted her again, like a dog with a bird at his door.
“You are sick! And you’re in love with Kiara!” She screamed, unaware of how the people who had once called Y/n their own watched pitifully from the back windows. Of how Kiara sat with a pained expression on her face, because she had seen Y/n as her sister.
“Y/n stop!”
JJ grabbed at Y/n’s shoulders, shaking her until she cried, a loud sob ringing through the air, painfully scraping through her chest and up her throat.
“How could you?” She begged to know, her eyes shut, her salty tears staining her once happy cheeks. “How could you?”
“I love you.” JJ tried to convince her, but even he seemed to grow tired of his lies.
“If I could give you the moon, I would have given you the moon.” She cried, her lungs deflating around the empty crevice in her chest that once held her heart.
Y/n craved that wanting-to-be-stepped-on feeling. She didn’t mind how sometimes JJ’s boots hurt her chest because even though he treated her horribly, he was treating her at all. But now, she stood in front of him with cracked ribs and an aching feeling where her heart once was, unable to bring him any more birds, unable to wait by the empty water bowl any longer.
She was starving, and so, so thirsty, and still, she waited patiently for him. He was a monster in every right, keeping her chained to an old post in the yard and watching her walk in circles. But even worse, he didn’t seem to really care.
“I had a life before you. I had a future! I was going to be something great!” She stressed, “and now I have nothing because I didn’t second guess you when you told me you loved me.”
JJ’s hands slipped from her body, and only then did he seem to realize that maybe this time his simple acknowledgment of her wouldn’t be enough anymore. Only then did he realize how he had taken for granted what he had, what he lost.
When she walked away from him that night, it seemed that the moon shined a little less brightly. It seemed that even though it was deemed impossible, somehow Y/n had a hold on the moon, that truly, she would have given him anything because to her, he was everything.
Now, JJ was stuck with the rips and loose threads on his tank tops, and all the dead little birds left at his feet, and JJ would never have the moon.
#jj maybank x y/n#jj mayback imagine#jj maybank fluff#jj mayback x reader#jj maybank x you#jjmaybank#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank#jjmaybankangst#jj maybank x routledge!reader
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Five Alien Hosts: Adventures In Italy (Part 3) - Hunks and Lies
Victor and Alexander (Sylo's host) were strolling together, visiting tourist attractions in Italy. They were having a lot of fun together, Italy was a very romantic place and Victor had on his side a hot hunk as his companion and protector, he couldn't ask for anything else. While Victor and Alexander were laughing at one of his jokes. Alexander's phone started ringing.
"Just one sec." Alexander said, picking up his phone. "Hello?... Oh, Ciao Marco, yeah I'm doing good..."
Victor rolled his eyes, he loved Sylo's host, but Alexander was always too busy with work. His phone would never stop ringing, he would answer calls even while fucking Victor. Victor did enjoy being fucked rough by Alexander while he talked business in a foreign language, but sometimes Victor just wanted Alexander to himself.
As Alexander talked to this man named 'Marco', he looked at his watch.
"Right now?... Ok, I will be there... Sure, We can discuss that when we meet." Alexander turned off the call.
"Who is Marco?" Victor asked.
"Marco is Alexander's business partner. Alexander has a car export company here in Italy and Marco helps run the company while he's away. He wants to meet me at a nearby bar for a quick meeting."
"C'mon Sylo, I told you already, no work during vacation. This day should be about us having fun together," Victor said, hugging Alexander's huge arm.
"Don't worry, Master. It will be a quick meeting. He just wants to discuss some business deals. That's the sole reason why Alexander was on that plane to begin with; he was going to meet with Marco. It would be very suspicious for Alexander not to go."
Victor sighed, Sylo was right. "Fiiiiine."
"Don't be like that," Alexander said, gently holding Victor's chin and kissing him softly. "I will make it up to you later, I promise."
They both walked to the bar where Marco had said they would meet. Once there, Victor was amazed by how handsome Marco was. Marco was the epitome of an Italian hunk. He was wearing a white dress shirt that showed some of his chest. When he saw Alexander, he had the most perfect smile on his face.
"Ciao Alex! Quanto Tempo!" Marco said.
"Ciao Marco!"
They both hugged each other and started talking in Italian, while Victor was left awkwardly staring. Marco looked at Victor, a little confused as to who he was. Sylo noticed it.
"This is my nephew, Victor." Alexander said, placing a hand on Victor's shoulder.
"Nice to meet you, Victor," Marco said, extending his hand. Victor blushed and shook it, while shaking, he couldn't help but glance at Marco's open chest.
Marco then turned to Alexander "So, let's have a drink. We have so much to discuss." They took a seat at a table in the outdoor seating area. A waiter soon walked to their table.
"I will have a coffee," Marco said to the waiter.
"A martini for me and a hot chocolate for my friend over here," Alexander said. When the waiter walked away, Alexander teased Marco. "A coffee, serious? What happened to the old Marco I knew?"
"I don't drink anymore, man. I'm a dad now, did you forget my wife just had a baby?"
Alexander laughed. "And how's everything at the company?"
"Well, you know how it is in this industry, always something new popping up. But I have to say, I'm pretty excited about our latest partnership with that luxury car manufacturer from Germany."
"Ah, yes, I heard about that! That's a big move. How did you manage to pull that off?"
"It wasn't easy, I'll tell you that. Lots of negotiations, late-night calls, and convincing. But in the end, it all came down to our reputation and track record."
"Impressive, Marco. I gotta hand it to you; you've always had a knack for sealing those big deals."
As they continued talking about their business. Victor couldn't help but give Marco some glances. But it looks like Marco noticed it because he immediately started to button up his shirt in the middle of the conversation and gave Victor a stern look that made him want to crawl under the table.
Victor had spent so much time with only his alien friends and their brainless hosts that he didn't know how to behave around a non-host person. He was accustomed to staring at his friends' hosts whenever he wanted, so now it was difficult for Victor to control his urges.
"So, where are you two staying at?" Marco asked, breaking the ice.
"At the La Dolce Vita Resort." Victor responded.
"Wow, expensive place. But It's not like money is a problem for your uncle, right?" Marco joked.
Victor was confused for a few seconds, his uncle? But then he remembered he was talking about Alexander. Victor grinned, if Marco only knew he and Alexander weren't related at all, and that his business partner was now just a muscle husk being controlled by an alien bug. One hour later, Marco had to go, he said he had another important meeting to attend.
On the way back to the resort, Victor looked at Alexander, who was driving.
"Why didn't you tell me Marco was this hot?"
"You like him, huh? Do you want me to take him over, Master? I would gladly turn him into a host. The guy's an asshole and the old Alexander also hated the guy. They always had this dispute between them, about who slept with the hottest woman, who had the best car, who closed more deals..."
"It would be very hot... but no, that won't be necessary. Remember, we are on vacation. That means you are free from having to turn into a host every hot man I fancy over."
Later that day, Victor and Alexander returned to their room, and to Victor's surprise, Marco was lying on the bed, reading a newspaper, as if waiting for them. He smirked at Victor and started to slowly unbutton his shirt.
"Ciao Victor," Marco said, taking his shirt off and throwing it on the floor, Victor was momentarily lost in Marco's abs and pecs.
"M-Marco? What are you doing here?" Victor finally asked surprised. Marco then winked at him. Victor knew that wink well; it was Sylo's way of assuring his control over a host.
"I'm so confused right now." Victor looked at Alexander, who was standing on his side, then back at Marco. "Who are you inside of right now?"
"Alexander is on autopilot. Marco has been my host since this morning. After I fucked you this morning and you got busy with Andrei and Ahmed, I called Marco to meet Alexander at a private place to discuss some business, and when he showed up, I turned him into my host." Marco explained.
"Are you saying that Alexander has been on autopilot all this afternoon?" Victor looked at Alexander on his side, who was grinning at him.
"You got me, Master." Alexander said.
"Exactly, I set his brain so he would act as if he was being controlled by me. Did he make a good impersonation of me?" Marco chuckled.
Victor was shocked, he spent the day with Alexander on autopilot and he had no clue. It wasn't the first time Sylo had pulled a prank like this. He enjoyed tricking Victor into thinking he was inside one host when he was actually in another.
"This will never get old." Marco laughed, putting his hands behind his head and showing Victor his hairy armpits. Victor couldn't deny how hot it was to see Marco shirtless in front of him, Victor now had a visible hard-on.
"He's a nice host, that's for sure. We will have a lot of fun with him." Victor sat on the bed and started to sniff Marco's hairy armpits, he smelled nice, like some fancy cologne.
"I thought you would appreciate some real Italian meat. I know how much you wanted an Italian host, and we kinda spoiled your plans by taking over those non-Italian men on the plane. Marco was born and raised in Italy, he should fulfill your fantasies."
"That's very sweet, thank you Sylo." He took his face from Marco's armpits and smirked at him. "Can you like... pretend to be the real Marco?"
"The real Marco would never be shirtless in front of you, the real Marco would have beaten you to a pulp for having your slutty mouth latching on his armpits."
Victor rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean, a gay version of Marco. Remember when you took over that hot cop and we roleplayed that he would only let me go if he fucked and came inside me?"
Suddenly, Marco's eyes rolled back for a moment, and then he gave Victor a seductive glance. "You think I didn't see the way you looked at me? You were stripping me with your eyes. You're such a dirty pervert, Victor." Marco pulled his pants down and lay down fully naked on the bed.
"Fuck me, Victor. I need you inside me, I knew it since the moment I saw you staring at me." Marco begged, shaking his ass to Victor.
Victor's heart raced with anticipation. He surveyed the scene before him: the Italian hunk, Marco, lay naked on the bed, and... oh my! That magnificent Italian ass! Victor couldn't help but lick his lips. He crept closer, his gaze locked on to the tempting target. Finally, he reached out and slowly, ever so slowly, pulled the sheets away. The Italian's big, round ass was revealed in all its glory. Victor took his clothes off and leaned in closer, pressing his body against Marco's back, and began to nibble on his neck, feeling the warmth of his breath against his skin. He continued to nibble and suckle at Marco's neck, feeling the muscles in his ass tighten beneath him.
The Italian hunk let out a groan, Victor smiled wickedly. He knew exactly what he had to do. He positioned himself behind Marco, his hard cock nestled against the entrance of his ass. Slowly, methodically, he began to push forward. The head of his cock pressed against Marco's entrance, and Victor could feel him tense beneath him. He took a deep breath, trying to steady his racing heart. With a sudden surge of power, he thrust forward, feeling the hot, velvety flesh of Marco's ass engulf his cock.
Marco cried out, arching his back further as Victor's cock slid deeper into him. The sensation was exquisite, almost too much to bear. Victor began to fuck him hard, his hips pounding against Marco's ass in a rhythmic cadence.
The room was filled with the sounds of their bodies slapping together, the wet smack of their flesh as it moved in tandem. Victor reached around, grabbing a handful of Marco's hair, using it to pull his head back and expose his neck.
"That's it, Marco," Victor whispered, his voice hoarse with desire. "You're mine now, cum for me you bitch!" And with that, they came together in a passionate, sweaty embrace. As the last tremors of pleasure faded away, Victor collapsed onto the bed next to Marco, their bodies still connected by their entwined limbs. He smiled contentedly, feeling the weight of his release draining away. For a moment, they were both still, catching their breath, before Victor chuckled softly.
"This was your first time bottoming," Victor asked to Sylo, looking over at Marco with a wicked grin. "Do I make a good top?"
"I crawled out of him at the moment you were getting inside him." Alexander said across the room, he was now naked too with his heavy thick shaft swinging.
"Oh for god's sake, can you stop switching bodies for today?"
"You're my Master, but that doesn't mean I will let you top me," Alexander said, roping on the bed, he then grabbed Marco by his waist and shoved his entire shaft in one single thrust. Marco screamed, but Alexander gave his ass a hard slap and Marco went quiet.
Marco's phone started ringing, it was his wife. Alexander grabbed the phone and pulled Marco's hair. "Answer it!" Alexander growled in his ear while still fucking him.
"O-oh hey babe, uurrgghh... I'm in the middle of a meeting right now.... how is my baby angel?"
They changed positions, Alexander now had Marco on top of him, riding him while he still was talking on the phone. "I will stay at Alex's place for a few days... I know, babe, I'm sorry... I love you too." When the call ended, Marco finally let out all the moans he was holding during the call.
Victor was tired so he just watched Alexander fuck Marco non-stop for almost an hour. Finally, when Marco was about to cum, Alexander held Marco with his strong arms, so that Marco's cock was at his face level, and wrapped his mouth around Marco's shaft, just in time for Marco to start shooting.
After feeding, Alexander commanded Marco to freeze. He then lay down beside Victor, who was staring at the ceiling, seemingly lost in thought.
"Is there something wrong, Master?" He asked, gently caressing Victor's hair. "I thought you would enjoy watching Alexander destroying Marco's ass."
"It's not it... tell me Sylo, do you think the five of you are the only ones? Don't you think maybe there could be more?"
"I can't say for sure because I couldn't know. But theoretically, it could have been more eggs in that Comet... why the random question?"
"I think we are not alone. I believe there could be others here at the resort."
"But that would be a huge coincidence for us to meet others while on vacation, Earth is a very big planet... unless" He gave Victor a stern look. "Are you hiding something from us, Master?"
"I haven't been completely honest with you all." Victor sat on the bed and sighed. "The real reason of this vacation is that I think more bugs could be here."
"What are you talking about? How would you know?"
"Remember the first man you took over? The Captain of that military operation?"
______________________________________
(1 month ago - USA)
"We're here, Master." Trent said. Trent was a popular gym coach who worked at a gym near Victor's house, after the bugs took over the bodies of the five military men, Victor, drunk with power, suggested the bugs to go to the gym next, once there, the five bugs converted all the hot muscular men working out that day into hosts, and Trent was one of Victor's favorites.
"Thank you for driving me here, Trent," Victor said, burying his face between Trent's big muscular pecs as he flexed them for Victor's amusement.
"Anything for you, Master," Trent said, gently burying Victor's face even more between his meaty pecs.
Without a bug inside his brain, Trent was put into autopilot mode, he was now just a mindless shell programmed to act like the old Trent, and of course, with Victor's suggestion, the bugs also programmed him and every other man on autopilot, to be Victor's slave.
As Victor was about to step out of the car, he had an Idea, he turned to Trent and smirked "While you wait for me, I want you to jerk off non-stop, I want you all sweaty when I'm back."
"Yes, Master," Trent responded, immediately pulling down his shorts, grabbing his 8 Inches cock and jerking off. Victor walked out of the car and went towards the military base.
After the gym takeover, the bugs explained to Victor that they could put the hosts on autopilot, Victor then went on a horny spree, helping turning every hot man he knew into a host and eventually into his slave. His hot neighbors, the construction crew that was working on a building near his house, random men he would see at the park — All fucked Victor at some point.
The military base in his city soon became Victor's next target in his quest for control. Accompanied by his five alien-controlled soldiers, Victor entered the base as if he already owned the place. The bugs crawled out from their hosts and began the takeover, turning one soldier after another into a slave for Victor. Now, these soldiers were no longer serving their country, but rather Victor himself.
Victor spotted the Captain waiting for him at the back doors of the base, Victor had learned that his name was Captain Torres.
"Hello Captain," Victor said, admiring the tall muscular man.
"Hi Master, where is your alien friends that turned me into a mindless shell?"
"I came alone this time," Victor walked closer to the Captain and felt his huge muscular arms.
"That's why you called me to meet you here? You missed these muscles, didn't you?" Captain Torres flexed his huge biceps in a cocky manner.
"Yes, I did miss these muscles," Victor smiled and pulled the Captain's head for a rough kiss. After a few seconds, Victor broke the kiss, leaving the Captain breathless. "But that's not the real reason I came here. I want you to search for something for me."
"Sure, Master, anything for you."
"I want to know the exact location of the meteorite that fell in Italy."
"I'm afraid I can't do that, Master. That is confidential information and you're not an official. If I gave any private information about military business to a civilian, I would be breaking the law."
Victor chuckled. "It's honestly amazing how real you sound, anyone else would think you really mean that, in truth you're just a mindless muscle drone trying to act like the old Captain Torres would."
"But I am the real Captain Torres, Master"
"Put your hands behind your back and stand in attention." Victor commanded.
"Yes, Master." Captain Torres did what he was told, now standing with his hands behind his back, totally vulnerable to Victor. Victor grabbed the Captain's bulge and squeezed it.
Victor initially felt scared and intimidated by the much taller and more muscular hosts, he was afraid that those men would suddenly come back to themselves and kill Victor for taking advantage of their bodies. However, as he witnessed more and more big guys being converted into hosts, he started to become more confident. Captain Torres no longer intimidated him, now the only thing his presence did for Victor was to make his cock grow hard.
"You're not a real person anymore, 'Captain'. You're a pile of muscles programmed to act like the previous owner of these muscles. You know who these muscles belong to now?"
"Y-you, Master," The Captain responded, sweat forming on his forehead.
"That's right, I own your entire body. Now lead me to the command room, right now!" Victor then let go of the Captain's crotch.
"I don't know how to search for it, It's not my area. I will need to find Sergeant Jordan, he's an IT technician, he will know how to search for the location."
"Ok, what are you waiting for? Let's find him."
The captain guided Victor into the gymnasium, a cavernous space echoing with the sounds of exertion. Soldiers, engrossed in their workouts, turned to acknowledge Victor's presence. A few nodded, some offered smiles, and others, with a mix of pride and camaraderie, flexed their muscles in silent greeting. Victor savored the attention, reveling in his role as the master of these men. Amidst the rhythmic clanking of weights, Sergeant Jordan's formidable figure stood out. Noticing Victor, he set his weights aside and strode purposefully towards him.
"Hey Master, It's been a while. Are you back to make us fuck each other again? You should make Captain Torres bottom this time."
Victor walked towards Jordan and squeezed his meaty pecs. "As much as I would like to, I don't have time for it, the bugs don't even know I'm here."
"If you're not here to watch us fuck, then why are you here, Master?"
At the command room, the Captain sat on a nearby chair and looked at Sergeant Jordan. "Master wants you to find the location of the meteorite that fell in Italy."
"That is going to be impossible, the meteorite that fell in Italy was never found." Sargeant Jordan explained.
"That's because they searched for it in the wrong way, the meteorites work as a spaceship for the aliens, they pilot that egg by using telekinesis. The military was looking for a meteorite when they actually should be searching for a UFO. You meatheads only found the egg in my house because my noisy neighbor reported it."
"That makes sense, but It's going to take me some time; I will need to request access for the Air Force." Sergeant Jordan sat and started to type.
"Be quick, the bugs can't know that I'm here." Victor kneeled under the table between Jordan's legs and started to open his fly, freeing his thick 9-inch snake and started to suck.
"Yes, Master, I will do my best." Jordan moaned as Victor's tongue started to lap his shaft. Victor had forgotten how big Jordan was. On the day of the military base takeover, Sylo was the one who took over Jordan, that day he fucked Victor rough with this big tool while an orgy happenned in the background.
After sucking Jordan for a while, Victor stood up and kneeled between the Captain's legs and opened his fly, freeing his big thick 11 Inches.
"So you're... uuurrgghhh... hiding from the bugs huh?" The Captain asked. Victor took the shaft from his mouth and slapped it on his own face. "I'm not hiding from them, they just don't have to know everything I do." Victor slightly squeezed the Captain's balls. "You're not gonna tell them, are you?"
"I won't. I only answer to you, Master," the Captain said, grabbing Victor by the neck and pulling him into a long, wet kiss. Victor melted in the Captain's strong muscular arms.
"Wait, that's weird..." Sergeant Jordan muttered as he stared at the screen.
"What's wrong?" The Captain asked.
"On the day of Comet Clyde's passage, an Italian satellite detected an unidentified flying object at a resort called 'La Dolce Vita Resort'."
"Very well done Jordan," Victor said, walking to Jordan and kissing him, Jordan's softening cock now started to grow again.
"Shells can't cum without being authorized, so as a reward, I will let you cum by fucking Captain Torres." Victor glanced at the Captain, who did not look amused. "Captain, take your pants off and get on all fours, Jordan here is going to stuff your ass."
"Thank you, Master!" Sergeant Jordan grinned.
Victor took a photo of the resort address on the computer screen, while Captain Torres was already on all fours with his big muscular ass sticking up. Sergeant Jordan kneeled behind him and started unbuckling his belt. Victor gave them one last look, he wished he could stay and watch them, but he didn't have time. As Victor walked down the corridor, he could still hear the clapping noises and Captain Torre's loud moans.
Back to Trent's car, Trent was a moaning mess, his black tank top was drenched in cum and his muscles were glistening with sweat. He looked at Victor with his tongue out as he continued pumping his big meat for Victor.
Victor paid him no attention, instead reaching for his phone. He scrolled through his extensive list of contacts — he had added so many numbers in the past few months — until he found the name he sought: Mr. Thompson, his hot Daddy neighbor, the man Sylo was currently in. A deep, raspy voice answered on the other end. "Where have you been, Master? We were starting to get worried."
"I'm fine, I was just having a fun time with Trent."
"Come back, we are about to feed, and we know how much you love watching us feed. Bring Trent with you, the more the merrier."
"Oh, I don't know if he will be of much help," Victor said as he looked at Trent shooting another load. "And there it goes his last load."
"Bring him with you anyway, It's been a while since I fucked you in this shell."
"Alright, I will be there soon, Daddy..." Victor chuckled, "You guys have been so good to me. You know, Sylo, I was just thinking... what do you think of a vacation?"
______________________________________
"You did what?" Alexander's voice thundered through the room, anger etched across his face. "I can't believe you went ahead with that without even asking us first!"
"It was just a theory back then. Besides, we don't even know for certain if there are any other bugs here. I could still be wrong."
"I don't care, you put us all into danger! You should have told us!"
"Should I? I'm your Master, and you should obey me! That was the deal, remember?" Victor shouted. But as soon as the words left his mouth, regret followed. He didn't want to be an authoritarian Master; that wasn't the kind of leader he aspired to be. He wanted the bugs to be more than obedient pets; he wanted them to be his friends. Victor sighed.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that."
Alexander gazed at Victor with a disappointed expression. Suddenly, his eyes rolled back and Sylo swiftly crawled out of his mouth, disappearing under the door gap.
"No please come back, Sylo! I'm so-rry..."
Victor sat on the edge of the bed with his head down. Marco and Alexander — Now both empty shells, sat on his side and comforted their Master.
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One thing that really fascinates me about interview with the vampire (the show) is this sort of tension between power and powerlessness in all of the characters. Because it doesn't present becoming a vampire as something that just gives you power and magically makes you completely detached from all human concerns and struggles.
And that seems to be something Lestat does very much want to believe, and he's in enough of a position of privilege that he's able to convince himself it's true, and it's a fundamental area where he just cannot understand Louis because Louis CAN'T pretend even if he wants to. (And of course Lestat cannot ACTUALLY separate himself from "human troubles" the way he likes to think he can, he just has an easier time pretending than most). Because as much as becoming a vampire grants these characters supernatural power it doesn't just magically take away the very tangible human ways that they were previously vulnerable or powerless.
Becoming a vampire doesn't negate Louis' struggles with racism; in some ways it amplifies them with how he is alienated from his own family and community; his closest connection becomes Lestat. He loses his economic independence and becomes socially dependent on Lestat in a way he wasn't to anyone as a human because in some ways becoming a vampire made him MORE vulnerable, despite granting him physical strength/speed/etc. The promise of freedom in vampirism Lestat presents to Louis (that I do think he does genuinely mean, but "freedom" means very different things to Louis than it does to Lestat) is never fulfilled.
Likewise Claudia learns the hard way with Bruce and later with the coven that she may be a vampire but the world still looks at her and sees a vulnerable young black girl and that will always put her in danger.
Claudia rescues Madeleine then turns her into a vampire, but rather than protect her from future harm the "crime" of turning her becomes the very thing that gets her killed by yet another angry mob.
And 514 years as a vampire will never be enough for Armand to truly trust or believe in his own power. Because the first 200 or so years of his life he was literally never once allowed any agency at all over his own identity or his own body (child slave sold to a brothel, sold to an abusive master, captured and violently indoctrinated into a vampire cult for centuries). No amount of material strength and power is going to undo the psychological effects of that. (And I know some people like to read his frequently passive demeanor as simply manipulation and a way of catching people off guard (because how could someone so old and powerful possibly feel a genuine sense of fear/vulnerability/etc 🙄) but to me that's an incredibly disingenuous reading of him. But that's a different rant for another time!). Being a vampire does not save him from being horrifically abused, nor does it save him from the lasting emotional effects of that abuse.
And I think there's something interesting to be said about the way that, in order to survive safely, they have to feed on the most vulnerable members of society (people undesirable and therefore least likely to arouse suspicion) in order to go unnoticed. If they want to live they have to prey on those vulnerable in possibly the same ways they themselves once were (and in many ways still are).
There's a frequent argument I dislike that we shouldn't be viewing any of these characters through too human of a lense because they're literal monsters (to be honest it's an argument I see most often made when people simply don't want to talk about the show's complex depiction of racism/misogyny/abuse/etc and used to dismiss those as issues "too human" to be relevant to a story about a bunch of monsters with a supposedly alien sense of morality), but I think the show itself makes a huge argument that for these characters there is no escaping or separating themselves from the very human struggles and vulnerabilities that marked them before they ever became vampires. It's like a sort deconstructed power fantasy.
#interview with the vampire#louis de pointe du lac#armand iwtv#claudia iwtv#lestat de lioncourt#madeleine eparvier
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Warnings: intermittent explosive disorder (IED), mentions of PTSD, a lot of angst, Bakugo dealing with impulsive anger outbursts, Bakugo being mean, aged-up Bakugo, pro hero Dynamight
A/N: yesterday, while chatting with my partner about Bakugo, a thought struck me (though it's just a personal theory, subject to disagreement) - Bakugo might exhibit signs of intermittent explosive disorder. His frequent bouts of anger, his brusque and often unkind demeanor, and occasional lack of control over his temper could be indicative of this. These headcanons delves into Bakugo's life as the second-ranked pro hero, Dynamight, as he grapples with the aftermath of the war
MY HERO ACADEMIA MASTERLIST
You meet Bakugo when he's the second-ranked pro hero, right after Deku. You're drawn to his charisma, confident personality, and the way he becomes protective of you.
Unfortunately, over time, you start to notice a lot of things that are just not right. His temper is extremely short, and he can explode with anger no matter what happens. It could be something he dislikes or someone doing something he doesn't approve of, and it immediately triggers a massive rage outburst. This can lead to him losing control of his own quirk, resulting in him destroying things.
After a routine checkup, the doctor suggests taking some tests, and the results are devastating: Bakugo is diagnosed with intermittent explosive disorder.
Naturally, this news infuriates him, and when he returns to your shared flat, he destroys his own little office in a fit of rage.
Bakugo's intermittent explosive disorder makes it difficult for him to control his anger, and he will often lash out in violent outbursts.
Bakugo's intermittent explosive disorder manifests in unpredictable outbursts of anger and aggression, often triggered by seemingly minor frustrations or perceived slights. His explosions can range from verbal tirades to physical violence, leaving destruction in their wake.
During his outbursts, Bakugo lashes out verbally and physically, unaware of the damage he inflicts on those around him.
Despite his efforts to control it, Bakugo's explosive temper often alienates him from his friends and loved ones.
His relationships with people he considered colleagues or sometimes friends become strained as they struggle to understand and cope with his unpredictable behavior anymore.
You're often the target of his outbursts but refuses to give up on him, believing that beneath his volatile exterior lies a wounded soul in need of understanding and support.
Even Mitsuki tries to intervene. "Honey, you need help. This isn't healthy for you or anyone around you! We're here for you, son. We want to help you get through this."
But of course Katsuki declines. "I don't need your help! I can handle this on my own!"
Bakugo's disorder takes a toll on your relationship, testing the limits of your love and patience. There are moments when you feel helpless and overwhelmed, questioning whether you can handle the emotional rollercoaster of being with him.
You learn to recognize the signs of an impending outburst and try to diffuse the situation before it escalates, using gentle words and gestures of affection to calm him down.
Bakugo's disorder has left him feeling like a monster, like a beast that's been unleashed upon the world with no hope of redemption. He's consumed by guilt and self-loathing, convinced that he's unworthy of love or forgiveness.
Deep down, Bakugo is aware of his condition and the pain he causes, but his overwhelming anger blinds him to the consequences of his actions.
Bakugo's disorder causes him to push you away frequently, convinced that he's too dangerous to be around. He believes that he's protecting you by keeping his distance, even though it breaks his heart to do so.
Bakugo's disorder becomes a constant source of tension between the two of you, with every interaction tinged with the fear of setting him off.
Finally, after months of suggesting and almost begging, Bakugo agrees to try something new and allows you to take him to a psychiatrist. The doctor prescribes him Fluoxetine, and after some time of taking the medication, his rage and anger outbursts become smaller and less frequent.
You don't just leave it there. You suggest he should think about therapy, and after some reluctance, he agrees.
After attending several sessions, you both discover that Bakugo's disorder is linked to PTSD he developed post-war and after being dead for a while. Suddenly, everything becomes clear, and you not only understand your boyfriend better but also know how to help him effectively. Hearing about his traumatic experiences brings tears to your eyes, and you cry a river upon realizing the extent of his suffering.
Over time, and with the combined efforts of you, his parents, and his friends, Katsuki starts to make progress in managing his disorders and becomes a bit calmer with his emotions. Of course, everyone remains super careful not to do anything that might set him off.
Being Dynamight's partner is tough, and you know it better than anyone. But despite the challenges, you're not about to leave him. He's the love of your life after all, with all his strengths and weaknesses.
#bakugou x reader#bakugo x you#bakugo x reader#bakugou x you#katsuki x reader#katsuki x y/n#bakugou x y/n#katsuki bakugo x y/n#bakugou katsuki#bakugo katsuki#bakugo headcanons#bakugou headcanons#bakugou angst#bakugo angst#anime angst#mha angst#bnha angst#mha headcanons
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Hey there! I'm having a debate with my roommate and wondering if you can help settle it. He says that if you gave someone the body of a jock, without any mental changes, they'll eventually start acting like a jock anyway. I don't think that's true. Just because you have muscles and look like a jock doesn't mean you'll start acting like one, right? We were thinking of trying to set up an experiment for our honor's thesis and wanted your input, thanks!
Are you really sure you want to go through with it? We are happy to do it. I'll create a preset for you that only changes your body. But really. 1.90 m tall. 140 kg of pure muscle mass. But everything else stays the same. To be honest, you don't look like you're ready for it. But it's up to you. I can only recommend that you are in a safe and, above all, unobserved place when you activate the preset.
You take a deep breath. You stand naked in the middle of your room. Next to you, you have laid out a pair of tracksuit bottoms, a tank top, a jockstrap, a pair of socks and a pair of sneakers. You can only hope that the clothes will fit your new self. 3. 2. 1. enter!
Wow! Holy shit! Now that was quick and without a transition. You look down at the floor from a slightly greater height. And when you look down, all you see are pecs. Fucking huge pecs. You need a mirror. Phew! Very slowly! The new body works a little differently than the old one… Your center of gravity is much higher up. You stand in front of the mirror. This no longer has anything to do with you. It's more Greek demigod than human. Your cock is getting hard. A huge cock that fits this huge body. You never wank. Especially not in the middle of your room. But now you have to. Not for long. And a huge load lands on the mirror and the floor. Yes, I've changed a few details apart from the height and muscle mass. You've already noticed one thing. You'll notice the others too.
You're convinced that the new body won't change anything. So you act as you always have. First of all, you clean up the mess. You are manically clean and tidy. Then you put on your clothes. The shoes are a bit tight, but otherwise everything fits pretty well. So off you go to the library. After all, your honors thesis isn't going to write itself.
Iris and Rita at the information desk didn't recognize you when you greeted them. They looked at you as if you were an alien when you wished them a good morning. You sat down at your regular place in the library. You like routines. You started working on your thesis outline when Vincent came over. Vincent always sits three tables behind you. Nice guy, similarly obsessive as you. He clears his throat and says that you can't sit here, the seat is taken. Actually, you should have said something along the lines of "Vincent, don't you recognize me, it's me!". But somehow you can't help it. You have to try it out. You cross your muscular arms behind your head, look deep into his eyes and just ask who cares. Vincent retreats like a beaten dog. Three minutes later, you have a WhatsApp message: "There's some stupid musclehead sitting in your seat!" You reply that it's okay, you're not on campus for a few days for empirical studies anyway.
But you're not as productive as usual. Your new body is keeping you busier than you thought. It feels so good to tense your muscles. Your hard cock is constantly leaking precum and is always half stiff. Shit, after an hour you have to jerk off. Fuck, you make quite a mess in the toilet. You try to clean everything up with toilet paper. When you come out of the stall, a student is standing at the urinal, looking at you and wanking. Get out of here quickly, you think to yourself.
The incident is definitely worth recording. After all, you've never experienced this before. But it was hot. As you type out your thoughts, your stomach begins to growl. So loud that Vicent hisses "Pssst". It's actually too early for lunch. But the canteen is about to open. So you're one of the first in the queue. You can hardly wait. And you heap heaps of food onto your tray. You're so hungry.
The weather is good, you sit down at a table in the sun and, ignoring all the table manners, you wolf down your food. Suddenly you hear a voice shouting "Hey, guys, there are empty seats here with the big boy!" You look up. A couple of idiots from the football team are standing at your table. "Dude, okay if we join you?" asks one of the guys, who seems to be some kind of leader. "Sure thing," you say with your mouth full, spitting a bit of your chicken across the table. "Cool," he replies, giving you a fist bump, which you return somewhat hesitantly and also a little awkwardly. And before you know it, you're sitting in a cloud of sweat, testosterone and stupid comments.
You start talking to the boys more for scientific reasons. They ask if you're Fresman because they've never seen you before. You say that you're actually studying somewhere else, but you're here to work on your Honor's thesis. The leader spits his Coke across the table. "Fuck, dude! You already have a degree? In what? Lifting iron?" Everyone laughs. Very loudly. You too. It's actually really funny with the boys…
The boys go to the gym after lunch. I wonder if you're coming too. You don't even think about it. You just say that you haven't got anything to change into. Everyone laughs and asks if anyone is interested. So you go along. It's a field study, you think to yourself. You're observing everything very closely. You don't want to attract negative attention. The processes seem very simple. You copy what you see the boys doing. You even enjoy it. You work up a sweat. You forget the time. The others are gone at some point. You're still here. You look in the mirror. Your long, sweaty hair falls across your forehead. Your friends all have much shorter hair. It's also more practical when working out. You look at your watch. Shit!!!!! You have to get your stuff from the library before it closes. Trevor, sitting at the information desk, doesn't recognize you either. It's already very empty when you pack up your things. Vincent is still there, mumbling something about how antisocial it is to occupy a space you're not using. You don't know why you're doing this now. But you go to him very slowly. You press his face into your armpit. And say that you had more important things to do. Shit, Vincent is seriously licking the sweat out of your armpit hair now? Pathetic little fucker, your new friends would say now. You're far too surprised. By you. By him. Slightly disturbed, you go home. You throw yourself on your bed and think about your first day as a jock. You fall asleep.
You are actually a person who is always well prepared. But you are amazed at how little you have prepared for this experiment. You have a combination to wear. It's still sweaty after yesterday's workout. But you don't have anything else. So this morning you're not going to the library, but to the paint shop. Shopping. A pair of sweatshorts, a few tank tops, socks and jockstraps, sneakers. A bit of compression gear for training. You pass a barbershop. There are a couple of guys inside who are obviously no strangers to the gym either. Fuck it, you think. Down with the long hair!
You haven't been in the library this late in a long time. Vincent has blocked your seat for you. With a few protein bars. Cute! He winks at you when you come in. You raise your arm and smell your armpit. Shit, you haven't showered! Fuck… Well, maybe the little prick will like that even more…
By lunchtime with the boys, you at least want to have logged yesterday and this morning. And you're looking for some literature on the connection between mind and body. Most of it is ancient. Nothing has been published on the subject for a long time. And if there is, it's more about the effect of the state of mind on the body. Less often on the effect of the body on the state of mind. That's obvious, because normally a genius like you doesn't acquire a body overnight…
The lunch break with the boys was cool. The guys are just very chilled, you like that. No highbrow topics. Just sport, fucking and partying. Unfortunately, a lot of football too. You have no idea about that. After lunch, the boys want to throw some balls on the lawn. You have to go to a colloquium later. And Luke said that you should finally replace those nerdy glasses with contact lenses. The visit to the optician was a good excuse not to embarrass yourself at football.
A whole day without going to the gym sucks! That's why you got up early today. You didn't do your thesis assignments yesterday, nor did you get your muscles burning. That has to change. Shit, you're still struggling with your contact lenses. But it looks a thousand times better. You're screaming alpha with every trained muscle fiber. And that's great! You almost feel at home in the gym. And nobody questions your position. In the library, Vincent provides you with everything you need. He fetches books for you and takes them away again. He has also already offered to help you with your work. What a loser! You don't need to order anything in the canteen after just two days. Your extra large portion of extra protein-rich food is prepared especially for you. Twice. You come once when the canteen opens. And once just before it closes. Your body is a machine. And this machine needs fuel. Lots of fuel.
You sit in the library and document the developments of the last few days. It really is only a few days. Reading through the last few lines almost makes you nauseous. Has your body replaced your mind so quickly? You need to get a grip on yourself. You did your Master's with distinction. You're working on your honor's thesis. You have a chance of getting a professorship at your old college. And you suddenly prefer to spend more time in the gym or with the airheads on the football team? You make a plan. Two hours of gym in the morning, two hours break with the bros at lunchtime, two hours of gym in the evening. And in between, focus on your thesis and your studies. It shouldn't be that difficult. You're an intelligent and disciplined man. So let's get going!
You have made every effort. And you actually come to the conclusion in your thesis that the body of a jock does not automatically lead to the mind of a stupid, arrogant and superficial jock. You have fun with both. Training in the gym and hanging out with the bros. And working scientifically and researching the human psyche. But in a lecture you realize that it's not you who changes, it's your environment that changes you. Since you got this body three weeks ago, no one has spoken to you about your studies. Vincent, who you thought was intellectual through and through, just wants you to let him lick your armpits in the evening. Your bros didn't even ask you what you were studying. And then the day comes when you attend your doctoral supervisor's lecture. Since your transformation, you've only spoken or written on the phone. You sit in the front row. You appreciate your doctoral supervisor for his liberal political views, his rhetorical skills and his incredible knowledge. At the end of his lecture, he looks at you. And asks if the young man, who unfortunately was unable to dress appropriately, understood a word of what he had just said. He assumes you were mistaken in the lecture hall. But if you invest your energy in your biceps and not your brain, that's to be expected.
First you think about whether you are saying anything particularly intelligent. To express your indignation at his insolence. To justify yourself. But then you think about what has been really fun in the last few weeks. And who you really had fun with. And you answer "Nah, professor dude! Dat wuz alot of words n stff u sed. I dnt thnk I need all dat for my degree as a personal trainer. wdut, bro?" You make your pecs dance. The lecture hall laughs. You stand up. Fuck the honor's thesis!
You started studying sports economics again. You also work as a trainer in a fitness studio. And you have a pretty successful YouTube fitness channel. You recently received a call from your old doctoral supervisor. He read through the draft of your honor's thesis again. It was all very promising. Why did you drop out? You say that you obviously have to choose between brains and brawn at some point. And you're grateful to him for helping you decide. And with that you hang up.
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