#but that won't be for a few more months for sure :'^) yay

[skrunksthatwunk]

everybody stop what you're doing and bow before my very epic doll collection that i finally have 'w'

[lulujeno]

finding out you sleep with a plushie

— nct dream ᡣ𐭩

cw : none! 100% fluff ^^

a/n : my tumblr debut yay! tried to make it as gender neutral as possible so i hope you enjoyyy

mark:

came home late from practice and found you sleeping on the couch with a winnie-the-pooh plushie tucked under your arms

first time seeing you sleep with the plushie despite knowing that you can't sleep without it

takes note of it for future occurrences

going on a flight? road trip? staying at your friends place? he will for sure remind you about the plush

when you forget the plushie at his place he will have it sitting on his bed against a pillow (sometimes 'reading' one of his books)

every time he sees winnie-the-pooh now he will take a quick pic of it to send to you

"yooooo why this lowkey looks like you"

doesn't forget to remind you that you're cuter tho

poor markie was so panicked when he couldn't find the plush after you texted him that you left it at his place

had a whole apology written down knowing how precious it was since its your childhood plushie

promised to buy you the exact same one and is basically crying now because he knows that it won't be able to replace the one you had

luckily he found it under his bed so we're all good!

renjun:

you were taking a nap on his bed when he saw you hugging a duck plushie

takes a quick pic for memories sake (and to tease you about it in the near future)

since then his little notes for you include a small duck doodle on it

"left early for practice 𓅭" "leftovers are in the fridge 𓅿" "goodluck for the interview today 𓅹"

when he's overseas for schedules he'll find something with ducks on it to give to you as a little souvenir

kisses both you and the duck when he sees you asleep after a long day (it calms him down)

would ask who's cuter, him or duckie?

you jokingly say duckie which causes him to nag to your plushie about stealing his partner

ducks are now his new favourite thing to draw (lyric sheets are his no. 1 victim)

when you couldn't find the plush he offers himself as something for you to cuddle with

resulted in him getting smacked and proceeding to help you find the duck

gets sulky after, saying that hes better at cuddling than the "piece of fluff"

you coo at his jealousy over a stuffed toy and cuddle the both of them

jeno:

he arrived at your place a little later than usual and sees you tucked in with a black bunny

he coos at how adorable the sight is and takes a picture to set as one of his many lockscreens of you

noticed that its the bunny he bought for you before he went on tour for tds2

"if you miss me just cuddle the bunny okay? he has black hair like me so it wouldnt be that much of a difference"

obviously cuddling a grown man and a 31cm plushie is different but what can you do when he's halfway across the globe?

also the type to kiss you and your bunny goodnight

caught him doing it one day and now try to stay awake long enough to catch him doing it again

you fail to do so since his schedules always end soooo late f u sm!!

would give your bunny a wash once every few months since the bunny is a representation of him and he takes personal hygiene very seriously! (his words, not yours)

the bunny would have a new ribbon tied to its ears, depending on what colour his hair is this time (always praying for the pink or white ribbon to come back one day)

gets jealous that you cuddle the bunny more than him

you'd get back at him saying that he's the one that bought the bunny

haechan:

could not shut up when he realised that the plushie you couldn't sleep without was a brown bear

teases you to no end because everyone knows the he is the og brown bear

he finds it too cute that you need a mini him to sleep

"awwwh, you're so in love with me that your plushie is basically me"

you tell him that its just a basic bear, theres no deeper meaning to it

you did buy it because it looks like him but he can't know that! the teases will be insufferable

doesn't care if it had another name before hand because it is now haechan jr.

if he sees the plush on the floor he'll pick it up and tuck it under your arms

the type to tell the little guy to take care of you in your sleep

you'd buy a mini version for him to bring around for schedules and tours

gives you updates about mini haechan jr. every second

practice room? recording studio? m/v shoot? fansign? filming 7llin? you will be getting updates!! not missing a single one

would post haechan jr. and mini haechan jr. on his instagram as a soft launch

it's a little too soft but its okay since you both want to keep it on the downlow anyways

jaemin:

found you sleeping one night with a pink bunny hidden under the blanket next to you

was cooing at how cute the sight was

also one to take pics because that's his partner!! why wouldn't he?

had to hold himself back from pinching your cheeks and opted to pat your head instead

will ask about it the next time he sees you and wont stop telling you how cute you are

you left it at his place once and suddenly theres a ribbon on your bunny's ears (i wonder who added it)

caught him having a full on conversation with your bunny a few times damn your bf is weird

basically treats the bunny like his child at this point

will remind you to bring your bunny when going on overnight trips with him

will not stop taking pictures of the bunny (he has a whole file for it on his phone btw)

"aigoooo look how adorable she is"

"awww both my babies look so cute I have to take a pic"

also one to send you pics of things with bunnies on it when on tour, buys it for you too sometimes

his cats loves bitting everything, including your bunny

makes sure that its as far away from luna, lucy, and luke after he caught them trying to bite on it

you're now 100x cuter in his eyes and he wont shut up about it

chenle:

slightly smiled to himself when saw you bring a dumbo plushie the first time you slept over at his face

he bought it so of course you'll be sleeping with it

why dumbo? because he has big ears and you're nosy as hell (his words btw)

you got sulky when you heard the reason and he corrected himself and said that it was because he was a yapper and you're the listener instead

starts calling you dumbo and the plushie dumbo jr. instead

would also ask to pick between him and the plushie

got so offended when you picked dumbo

"i am THE zhong chenle, who wouldn't choose me?"

would replace the plushie with himself after you sleep since he's petty like that, he wouldn't let a stuffed toy win over him

but would also put dumbo in between your arms if he wakes up first in the morning (it's to keep you company while he's cooking breakfast)

sends you pics of daegal and dumbo together like a proud dad

he's still chenle though so dont expect your plushie to get the same dad treatment as jaemin

the type to get you more dumbo related items since dumbo is the only plushie you sleep with

jisung:

his heart melted at the sight of you sleeping on the couch with a hamster plushie squished against your cheeks

if that man wasn't a simp for you already then he is now

needs a few seconds to just admire how cute you were for faling asleep while trying to wait for him to end his schedules

he's not one to bring it up directly, but that doesn't mean he won't tease you about it from time to time

probably annoys the members (read: chenle) about how adorable his partner is when cuddled up with a plush version of him

he's so down bad but you can't blame him for being in love

took him a few nights to realise that its the plushie he bought for you when you visited him during smtown live in tokyo

got so shy and couldn't contain his smile when he realised it

would ask you if you've given the hamster a name yet and when you said you haven't he suggested 'hamster'

you don't have the heart to tell him how corny it is so you agree to it

you both are down bad!!!!

if he sees the hamster on the floor he'll dust off any possible dust before tucking it under your arms again

takes a picture to make it last longer

you leave the plush at his place on accident once

send you a message saying that he can't believe you just forgot your son like that

takes a pic of him cuddling the hamster to show that he is being taken care of no ones focusing on the doll when his hands are right there

[itgirlgyu]

WOULD THEY EVADE TAX? ... txt

﹙𝗮.﹚ ⠀⠀ ⠀° 𝓌𝑒𝓁𝓁 ... it's WEIRD I GUESS ? ─── warnings ᯓ 𝘁𝗮𝘅 𝗲𝘃𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻? +NFTS(¬_¬") i feel like im gonna keep writing stupid headcanons until i finish my one shot. so yay suffer!

────YEONJUN.

He won't. On the contrary, would show off how much tax he is paying. Also gets called in for fraud for announcing a bigger sum as tax than his dues for clout.

Goes viral for his famous mug shots.

His court hearing is public, which he later uses to turn into a reality show.

Finally pays the amount of tax he had said he does, and even more.

Gets on some Forbes 30 Under 30 listing.

No one remembers him after a few years though.

Might try evading tax next time for attention who knows?

────SOOBIN.

He would try yeah.

Hundred percent tries to pass off his work as a non profit so that he won't have to pay the taxes. But the pesky little thing called moral (and the fear of IRS) has him come clean and start anew with completely legal documents. No one will ever know of his dark past.

Although has a blog somewhere on the internet completely journaling his brief stint.

Had the most potential to get away to be honest.

────BEOMGYU.

He would convert all his assets into NFT so he could evade tax.

Is so sure that he won't be caught.

And he is right.

Because NFT crashes soon because how utterly stupid that was and he loses all his money.

So now he lives in Taehyun's basement.

He does get away but at what cost?

────TAEHYUN.

Oh he pays taxes alright.

But it's just a front.

Acts like a dutiful citizen in front of everyone.

Standing up with a palm on his chest and shit for the national anthem.

But he has a side business which he uses to buy gold and turn into gold bar and takes a boat every other month to his secret place.

The address is made into a treasure hunt map so he can leave a legacy behind.

He also does this so that he won't have to leave a trust fund for his future kids, he won't be paying a dime more than what he absolutely has to for them to build their own life.

Leaves a few bars for beomgyu though and some for kai.

Has been on the radar for the longest time, might get busted at his death bed.

────KAI.

Literally yes.

He would do everything to evade the goddamn taxes.

Has an offshore account just for his side hustle.

Might as well declare him as part of a cult with the income as just “blessing”so that the government can't put their paws on it.

Has backpacked through out Indonesian jungles to get the IRS off his back.

Has drunk coconut water with an officer without realising he was shacking in with the enemy.

Also the most likely to get away with it as well.

© ITGIRLGYU⠀⠀. feedbacks and reblogs are appreciated! TAGLiST @viesin @jisungsdaydreamer @wonioml @1921choi @forever-in-the-sky2 @beoms-sugar

[insanebookreader]

𝐔𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐈𝐭 𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐬, 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐢𝐝 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 - 𝐀𝐔!

Pairing: S2 Philosophy professor x Non- BAU Fem!reader (no use of y/n)

Synopsis: He didn’t originally plan on staying for so long– though he wasn’t sure he minded anymore. It was a quiet, small town with an even smaller population– the perfect escape. But when he starts reliving the same day over and over again, what was supposed to be a break from reality becomes an endless loop that tests his sanity. Everyone forgets. Even her. Only he remembers. Trial after trial, mistake after mistake, he searches for a way out. But what happens when he finds a love he never thought possible–one that follows him, chooses him, even when it doesn’t even remember him?

Key: ★❥🖤✧ (okay basically everything)

Content warnings: TW!: Mentions of attempted suicide, depression, psychological slight insanity(?), hard angst but there is a happy ending. Mentions of height difference, cheating (but past), reader has hair😭, PIV and there's implication that it's without protection but not explicility said..DON'T FOLLOW IN THEIR FOOTSTEPS. Mentions of injured kitten? Also she always willingly goes with him even though he's a stranger? Again, don't follow in her footsteps. Spencer faints from happiness? In one of the loops he love bombs(?) Descriptive scene of drowning. Broken-heart syndrome mentioned. Spencer's POV

A/N: "Fate is a tricky lady, when you try to figure her out, you just get more confused." This is a quote from 'When We First Met"- I was watching it when I was finishing up this fic and it literally like..hit me. I was like oh em gee this so fits, I had to tell you guys. The cat's name was originally "Eureua" but I changed it to "Mini-Meow" last minute when I saw an instagram reel. ALSO I AM SO SORRY, this was meant to come out...weeks ago. Weeks. But it's HERE. After so long. Much thinking into it. Much of my pussy, tears, and whatever else. Thanks to my close friend for being my BETA reader. <3 BUT YAY. IT'S HERE.

There is heavy research, weaved in themes, easter eggs, etc into this and I'm a little proud. There's two heavy.."themes?" Reasonings? That cause this and have him get out. I won't say because I don't want to spoil but I hope you get them. Might do a post A/N.

ALSO YES, there is no other interactions besides reader and Spencer because it IS MEANT TO FEEL ISOLATING! That is his world. Everything is intentional.

much love, enjoy <3 (and this is my baby, I worked so hard- please be gentle.)

Word Count: 12.6k (DAMN)

Friday Harbor in San Juan Island, Washington. It was supposed to be a break from the weight of his everyday reality. Sort of. Originally, he was filling in for a professor on sabbatical– temporary, a favor. But somehow, over time, he fell in love with the mellowness and serenity of the small, endearing town. The stillness of it. The clarity. He’d finally gotten settled. Somewhat known, but not recognized. Acquainted, but not obligated. It was refreshing. A few months had passed since he ended his semester at the local university. Just a few weeks since he decided to stay. Since he decided to call this place home. He was starting to form a daily routine, the kind that quietly fit without friction– and then… it happened. 

He cracked an eye open and turned toward the nightstand, toward the soft blue glow of the digital clock beside his bed. He shut his eyes again. Letting his head fall back down onto the pillow with a long, slow sigh.

January 12th, 2025. 7:00 A.M. 

It had been like this for what felt like an eternity, even though it wasn’t. He hated– no loathed it. He felt like the universe was toying with him. Was it? Had he racked up so much karma debt that this was the result? Was it this town? A glitch? A curse? The same questions, every same morning. And still– no answers. That’s what he needed. What he continuously searched for.

After he did his usual routine– shower, teeth, vest and tie, breakfast, the practiced quiet– he made his way into the living room. The space was warm, the kind of comfort you couldn’t fake. In the corner stood the mobile whiteboard on wheels. He grabbed the black whiteboard marker. Again.

Horology. He might as well be able to teach that alongside his other subjects now with how obsessively he fed his mind with it every single day– well,..same day. Closed Timelike Curves, loop quantum physics– how time and space might be fundamentally structured in a way that allowed for possible loops. Because that’s what was happening. A goddamn. Endless. Loop. 

Loop Quantum Theory, Bootstrap Paradox– the scientific name for time loop. He went through this every (same) morning. Scientific overview and further investigation, some deep diving into fictional time loop theories even though he hated the fact it was fiction. Really, he just needed something– anything to grasp. To explain, analyze, debunk. He had discovered far early in his life that that is what he was best at and loved– facts, logic, reason.

By the time he came up for air, it was nearly 10 A.M. – time for his usual run to the coffee shop that was conveniently down the street, get his overly-sugared cup– and step into the bookstore that was next door to the quiet aforementioned coffee shop.

“Hi! Welcome to ‘Helena’s Book Home,’ if you need any assistance, feel free to let me know!” He knew that same exact practiced sentence by heart about now. It wasn’t the sound of your voice that annoyed him, no, never– it was the fact that he could recite your exact words in his sleep. 

He decided, you know what, why not try something different today? (He always did, but usually not until later in the day.)

So, he stepped toward you, nodding with a soft, approachable smile as he slid his hands into the front pockets of his slacks. “Actually, could you lead me to where 'Strangers On A Train’ by Patricia Highsmith would be?” Okay, well..he actually knew exactly where it was. He’d been here multiple (and he meant multiple) times, even before this whole Bootstrap Paradox, time loop, whatever-it-was started.

But he didn’t mind the philanthropic smile that graced your lips as you gazed up at him, nodding willingly. “A fellow connoisseur of psychological thriller, I see. How interesting. Follow me.” You knew Highsmith? That’s what he thought to himself. Almost on autopilot, his footsteps echoed behind yours against the dark oakwood flooring.

You turned to him swiftly once you arrived at the mystery/thriller section tucked in the back of the store, grabbing the book without looking before holding it out to him with a smile, like you knew the shelves by heart. “If I told you the amount of times I’ve read this, you’d be astonished. Why haven’t I seen you here before?”

He’s not sure whether he’s hurt or agitated at the question, maybe both. Because you have seen him before. Numerous times, but then again, he couldn’t blame you. 

Careful not to let his frustration slip into his tone, he took a breath– and shook his head, offering a faint smile. “I just..don’t come into town often, I usually stay home.” Wrong. Just like this goddamn time loop. Everything was wrong. And he just had this itch– this unbearable urge– to figure it out, to–

“Oh! Well..” You pursed your lips, glancing around then down at the faded, aged watch on your wrist before meeting his gaze again. A small smile crept onto your lips– the kind that pulled one onto his own before he could stop it. “If you’d like, and if you’re free, I could..show you all the hot spots. And a few of the more hidden, niche places, too? Only if you want! I just..-”

Before you could spiral into a ramble, he cut in gently, shaking his head. “I’d like that. I’ve recently moved here, so I don’t know too much about the town.” Half-truth. He had  moved here recently. But he wasn’t oblivious– he'd explored nearly every inch of this tucked-away, quiet place. Of course, he couldn’t tell you that.

He saw your shoulders relax once you processed his words, like you’d been expecting him to oppose. You nodded as you crossed your arms over your chest– something he noticed you did often. Not for any particular reason. It was just you. He’d learned that through the many ‘trials,’ as he liked to call them. “Cool. Uhm..my shift ends at two. So...a bit of time. But, if you’re willing to wait,..I could get us a discount at ‘The Market Chef?’ I have a friend who works there. It’s a really good deli– has wine, bunch of other stuff. Then I could show you around town.”

Please. As if he’d object. It was almost ridiculous how hesitant you sounded asking him this– though, again, he had to remind himself that he was a ‘stranger’ to you.

Agreeably, he nodded, tapping the book in his hand for emphasis. “Sounds perfect. I’d be more than willing to wait for you.”

And so, now he sat in Overlook Park with a tremendous amount of papers and research in hand. It was almost noon, so he had time to kill– and what better way to do it than by trying to figure this shit out?

Look, he usually wasn’t an irritable man. He liked to think of himself as calm, collected, and rational. But anyone would be on the verge of madness after being stuck in a place that was supposed to be as close to nirvana as possible– only to realize it was samsara.

He sighed, scribbling messily across the pages in front of him, his brows drawn tightly– lips curled into a small frown that seemed permanently etched onto his face when he was alone lately. It wasn’t just the fact that he was going insane in this paradox from hell–it was the not knowing that really got him. He couldn’t figure out why. Or what. Or how. Or when. None of it. 

And Spencer Reid loved knowing. He loved logic. Understanding. Clarity. He had none of that right now. Great. That, and he had zero control over any of it. Why did life have him by the balls right now?

The Law of Cause and Effect– how Karma operates on the principle that every action, thought, and intention has a corresponding consequence. It’s a casual law, not a divine judgement. That means the person in question is fully responsible for their own actions– and the outcomes.

Makes sense, right? He taught this for a living. Philosophy. So..maybe if he kept digging. If he kept solving. Searching. He’d find the answer. That’s how he looked at life: answers.

Time loops also existed in this very field, theories suggesting that all moments in time– past, present, and future– exist simultaneously. That in a looped model, these moments could continuously repeat, which creates a timeless structure where events are replayed indefinitely. 

Oh god. Would that happen to him? Would he be in this until the end of said time?

No. He couldn’t stand the thought. 

Okay, well..he knows how time was the comparison of one open system– aka, the clock– to another open system, where energy arrives at the observer from both open systems. Basically, this logic means reality is timeless. The loop that generates human experience of time is simply the capacity of memory– how we, as humans, imagine past, present, and future states of clocks or other quantities map to an imaginary timeline.

So which answers did this provide him?

 Absolutely nothing. 

~

As he sat across from you on the wooden bench outside the deli, he noticed things he hadn’t before. Usually, he’d only see you at the bookstore, the coffee shop– quick, convenient places. He’s never actually been with you like this before.

He noticed how your lashes were so long they kissed your brow bone, how your nose scrunched with every emotion you expressed freely– annoyance, amusement, joy, even frustration. It was endearing.

He watched how you flashed a smile and small wave to the baby nearby, sitting with its mother at another outdoor table, your eyes curling into crescent moons, full of warmth. 

“You know,” He started, “Neonates often stare at people who are more beautiful. Their minds are still developing, exploring the world, practicing their visual skills, and even mirror other’s expressions. Over time, they begin to favor faces that resemble their parents or guardians– it’s a form of familiarity. It’s quite fascinating, actually. They’re already learning to recognize certain facial features. Children notice a lot– different facial or body shapes. Shiny and/or oddly shaped things catch their attention too, especially vibrant colors. That’s why kids' toys are always bold, bright colors.” He spoke quickly, gesturing with his hands as the words flowed from his mouth like a fountain of knowledge.

You looked at him with a curious tilt of your head, eyes glinting and narrowed. “Is that so? Soo..” His gaze flickered down when you pursed your lips, looking at the baby then back at him with a playful flash in your irises. “Are you calling me beautiful?”

To that, he breathlessly and shyly chuckled with a small grin, shrugging nonchalantly like his cheeks weren’t flushing. “Uhm...yeah. I guess I am.”

A small, teasing– though soft– hum left your lips as you confidently held his gaze. “You don’t even know my name.”

But he did.

“I need to know your name in order to observe the obvious? And plus, I do.” He followed up his statement with a soft call of your name, looking at you with a gentle smile as he pushed his glasses back up the curve of his nose.

The way your brows furrowed in confusion should’ve alarmed him, though he didn’t process his own predicament until the words left your lips. “How’d you know that?”

Well. Shit. It totally wasn’t because he’s been reliving January 12th for a frustratingly long time now. 

He knew you. You didn’t know him. Right.

“Your name tag. Back at the shop?” What a save.

Your eyes then lit up with recognition as you pointed, nodding as your eyebrows raised. “Ohhh…okay. Yeah. That makes sense.” You took a sip of your drink before looking at him abruptly, leaning close with the wonder of a child. “Wait, I don’t even know your name.”

He pressed his lips together tightly, nodding before speaking smoothly, an edge of sorrow if you looked close. “Dr. Spencer Reid. But you can just call me Spencer.” He fidgeted with the paper napkin he had in hand, continuing. “You don’t, uhm,..You don’t have to address me so formally.”

You let the syllables of his name slowly fall from your lips, like you were testing how it felt and sounded from your tongue. “Spencer.” An almost wicked grin graced your lips afterwards. “Hm. I like it.”

Right on time, the waiter walked back to the table, ready to take both your orders.

It’d been some time since then– late afternoon now, the clock nearing the spiritual number of wholeness and balance. Oddly fitting, considering he felt just that in this moment. 

You two leaned against the long, red wooden railing of the bridge that stretched across  the front of the Brentwood Bay Resort & Spa, standing above the quiet waters. From the point he and you stood, you got a gorgeous view of how the sun slowly descended down the expansive, painted sky.

Another needle-like breeze swept over the two of you; January in Friday Harbor was unforgiving. He wished he’d known that before moving here– but whatever.

Thankfully (for once), given that he’s been reliving this Thursday again and again, he knew the exact weather by heart. Precipitation levels. Wind gusts and their MPH. Humidity. All of it.

Knowledge.

And because of this knowledge– something he always tightly clung to, he was prepared. Well and thickly dressed. You, unfortunately (and he guessed resentfully towards yourself), were not. A little underdressed for the cold. Though, in your defense, you hadn’t planned on ending your day like this– not here with him.

In his periphery, he caught the shudder of your shoulders and heard the faint clatter of your teeth. So, of course– like the gentleman he was– he urged you closer, already shrugging off his coat. 

You immediately shook your head with a wave of your hands, smiling at him as you stepped back. “No. It’s okay. Thank you, I’m not even-”

“I insist.” He cut in, already draping his coat over you as he looked down at your shivering form. “And yes you are. Your lips are turning purple and you’re shivering. Please. Take it.”

He saw the way your breath was visible in the cold air when you sighed, nodding as you obliged– tugging his coat closer. “Thank you, Spencer.” He enjoyed the sight of how his coat was slightly (more than slightly) big on you, his build far taller than your own.

A small faint smile crept onto his as he noticed that, clearly his throat as he pushed his glasses back up– nodding diffidently. “Course.” 

“Have you always lived here? You seem to know the town like you’re the mayor yourself.” He blurted out, looking to the side at you as he leaned against the railing– you now having your arms tightly wrapped around yourself, clutching to his coat.

Was he cold? Yes. Kind of freezing. Actually. But it didn’t matter to him– as long as you were okay.

Wait– what?

You shook your head, gazing at the now ember horizon, which casted a glow upon your smooth skin. “No. I, uh..” You followed with a breathy laugh, looking back up at him. “I actually used to live in New York. For a while. Born and raised.” 

His brows shot up in shock, turning to face you fully as bewilderment graces his features. “Wow. That’s..uhm..”

“Yeah.” You chuckled, nodding with an amused and knowing smile. “This place is a big turn around compared to New York.”

He nodded affirmingly, chuckling as well. “Yeah. Definitely. I mean,..why? What made you move here? To somewhere so..quiet. Instead of that usual hustle and bustle.”

“It was a lot. I mean,.don’t get me wrong, I love New York. But..after some time, I needed somewhere to breathe and just exist. I needed something different.” After a small silence, you shook your head– looking away timidly with a scoff. “It sounds silly.”

“No, no, no. It’s..it’s not.” He quickly interjected, entirely intrigued by the fact that you felt the way he did. “I completely understand. I actually came here– well, originally I came here on sabbatical and filled in for a professor for a semester. But I ended up falling in love with the.., well everything about this town. So I decided to stay. Because I needed exactly what you said. To breathe.”

You looked at him with a softened gaze, humming as you processed his words before nodding. “Professor.” You mirrored his own stance, turning to fully face him. “What do you teach?”

“Philosophy. I also have a degree in neuroscience.” He proudly stated, glad to share something he was proud of with you. He didn’t know why, but it felt good to try and impress you– as well as to share his achievements with you.

He saw the way a smile made its way onto your lips, a small affirmative and impressed hum following afterwards. “Brains, beauty, and kindness. Can’t say I find that in a lot of guys.”

And it stayed like that for a good hour or two more– close together like intertwined vines, a growing connection from the ongoing conversation being the blossoming dahlia’s.

After going to the port, sharing warm cocoa– where you had wiped some whipped cream off of his nose, and the alleyway that was infested with cute cats – you two had finally settled on your last destination of the nipping, dark night.

He hummed, nodding as he licked his thumb before dusting his hands off. “Now those are delicious. What are they called again?”

You scoffed, looking at him with widened eyes as you ate your own chocolate truffle. “You’re kidding. They’re Lindor! Lindor milk chocolate truffles. They’re absolutely delicious.”

He nodded as he stored the name in his infinite vault of memory— looking back forward at the view. You both currently sat at the edge of a rooftop, legs dangling over the concrete surface, earbuds in with some low music creating an even more peaceful ambience. Oh, and of course, a blanket draped over the both of you, given it was absolutely freezing out.

“You know, I usually enjoy classical music. But..I like this. Jeff Buckley, you said it was?” He questioned, ‘Lover, You Should’ve Come Over” flooding both your ears. A masterpiece. Truly.

“Mhm! He’s a genius when it comes to lyrics and his music. I mean– listen to it? And his vocals?” You spoke passionately, sighing like a lovesick teenager. “Ugh. Just pure perfection.”

He looked at you from the corner of his eye, a faint smile forming on the corners of his lips– to which, he didn’t even know was happening. Not until he saw your quizzical expression and tilt of your head. “What? Why are you staring at me like that?”

Immediately, his cheeks flushing, he averted his gaze and cleared his throat. “Nothing..just. I-..you got so passionate about his music. It was..it was cute.”

You stared at him with stars in your eyes, just like the very ones you both were gazing at– only the ones that swam in the pools of your eyes were far more breathtaking. 

He didn’t process the sweet and chaste kiss you left on his cheek until he felt your lips pull away– the warmth from them gone the second they were even there. 

“Thank you, Spencer.” He questioned why you were thanking him? He knew why, with the whole cute comment thing– but he felt he should be the one thanking you for giving him his own blanket which was the warmth that spread across his skin from the innocent, loving kiss. 

~

He blinked. Once, twice, thrice– then the blurry ceiling above came into clear view. Again, on routine– he turned toward the digital clock on the bedside table.

7:00 A.M. January 12th, 2025. 

For a pregnant moment, he just stared at it– wondering, is this seriously my life right now?

He groaned frustratedly, pulling at his hair before throwing the duvet off from him with a huff– getting up from his bed that he now saw as shackles. 

Shower. Teeth. T-shirt and jeans. Breakfast. Forget the practiced quiet– his mind was the embodiment of what a fork in a garbage disposal sounds like right now.

As he, like always, paced the living room with his marker in hand– he abruptly stopped. A scoff leaving his lips, like he just discovered the cure for cancer.

“That’s it. I’m in a coma! My mind simply is fabricating a false reality. Hold on..” He practically sprinted to the tower of books piled up in the corner of the room, pulling out the ‘The Neurology of Consciousness: Cognitive Neuroscience and Neuropathology’ book from the middle- not paying mind to how all the others toppled in a clumsy mess.

He hastily flipped through the pages for the next 5 hours. 5 whole hours of overwhelming his already storm of a  mind with a plethora of topics. He already knew most of this, given he has a great amount of knowledge in neuroscience and almost everything. But it didn’t hurt to review. To try and find answers in the cracks of the stubborn wall he kept hitting.

He was set on the idea that this reality he was reliving was Comatose hallucinations. There’s many factors as to why this may be happening, he’s possibly in the ICU which would be considered a strange, unfamiliar environment– the medications he possibly was being given. 

Since even though he may be in a state of deep unconsciousness, his mind isn’t fully inactive– a knock at the door.

The hell? He looked down to the watch on his wrist– it was almost 12:30. Not only that but who could be at the door?

Another knock. He sighed, shutting his textbook after glancing at the page number before setting it down. His skin grazed the door knob after unlocking the door, opening the d– wait, why were you at his doorstep? In the number of times he’s lived this day– you’ve never come to his doorstep or to him? But he’s also never not gone to town in the morning.

You quickly looked up from having been concerningly staring down at the small, gray injured kitten in hand– eyes wide and apologetic. “Hi, I’m so sorry to interrupt your day, sir. But I..” You sighed, soothing the meowing kitten with a clutch of it to your chest.

“I was on my way to work when my boss called me to say there’s been a small flood and not to come in. I was walking back and..I saw this small kitten injured and I just knew I had to find someone quickly. Your house was the closest.” You quickly got out, looking back and forth between him and the ash gray kitty wildly.

Well that explains why you weren’t at work right now. And provided him with another piece of information to store into his mind about you – alongside everything else he learned about you yesterday– you were tender and caring, looking out for those around you, including a little injured furball. 

He cleared his throat as he fixed his glasses, nodding as he stepped back and opened the door wider for you to walk in. “Yeah..yeah, of course. Uhm..shouldn’t we go to the vet or something?”

As he shut the door behind you, you shook your head– sighing and turning to him. “The vet is like..2 hours away or something. Plus, we’d have to go to the emergency vet anyway and that’s not happening.” You held the kitten close to you, having it wrapped in your now bloodied scarf.

“We’ll have to treat it a bit first then get this poor baby there later. Do you have a small cloth and possibly pet antibiotic cream or ointment?” To your question, he nodded– having you follow behind him to the bathroom down the hall.

Once you finished gently cleaning, drying, and putting some cream on the kitten’s wound– you gently started to wrap its little leg in the white bandaging. He watched how you wrapped it with such consideration and care, so delicately like you gave life to the kitten yourself. But he figured that was just your kind-hearted nature shining through. 

He saw how after aiding the poor kitty, you held it to your chest– whispering some soothing words even though it couldn’t understand you, following your words with a love-filled kiss on its head.

Reminding him of your kiss on his own cheek from ‘yesterday.’

‘Uhm…I’m Spencer, by the way.” He held out his own hand to shake, surprising himself since he didn’t like doing so. But he narrowed it down to the fact that one: he grew a weird liking for you, and two: he felt he basically knew you.

Your eyes widened before you nodded, smiling kindly as you met his hand with your own, introducing yourself. “I’m sorry for not starting off with that. I probably should’ve, you know? Probably felt spooky letting a stranger into your house. It’s nice to meet you.”

He withdrew his own hand with a small laugh, nodding as he slowly reached over to scratch the kitten behind its ear. “And you willingly walked into a stranger’s home. So I guess we’re even.”

You nodded with a small chuckle, gazing back down at the kitten that was now sound asleep in your grasp. “I guess we are.” 

“So. Is the little guy– or girl..is it okay?” He asked with a tone of genuine worry, leaning back against the sink counter. 

“Yup. He’s all good. And you were right the first time, he’s a little dude.” You met his gaze again, your eyes crinkling at the corners from your growing smile. “Thank you, stranger. For helping me with him.” 

He shook his head, smiling with a scratch of his nape as he looked at the sleeping kitten then back at you. “I didn’t really do anything. I just provided the supplies.”

You shrugged, tipping your head to the side with your gaze holding his own, a warm, sunset-like feel to it. “Still. I appreciate it. That and you not murdering me.” You held up your now bloodied scarf with one hand, making sure not to wake the small malkin in the other. “I gotta run. Get this washed at home before it sets in.”

“Oh, uhm..” He leaned off the counter edge, pushing his large, dorky glasses back up. “I have a washer and dryer. You can just wash it here.”

With a small shake of your head, you kindly declined with a shy air to you. “I appreciate it but I wouldn’t want to intrude. More than I already have.”

He didn’t know what it was about you– well, besides the fact he’s learnt so much about you in the past day and has seen you over and over– that just..tethered him to you.

“Are-..are you sure? I mean, uhm. I just..well, I know I’m a stranger but..I don't know. We just saved a kitten together? So..” Okay. As the words left his lips, he realized how desperate he sounded. Maybe a tad bit creepy. He quickly fumbled, eyes wide and alert. “Wait– that sounded really w-”

“It’s okay.” You smiled up at him, though narrowing your gaze with a lighthearted, suspicious glint to it. “On the off chance that you’re not some Ted Bundy 2.0..I’ll stay. Only because my dryer is broken currently. And I didn’t have anything else planned for today. So.”

He felt his muscles relax, a tender smile forming on his lips. “Yeah. Cool..uhm.” He opened the bathroom door, leading you to where the washer and dryer were.

~

You two were now chatting it up in the kitchen, laughter filling the air– which mixed with the scent of the food on the stove, you were perched up on the counter while he cooked up some casual, easy to make dinner. The small kitten– that you two agreed to name ‘Mini-Meow’ – nuzzled in between your criss-crossed legs, purring and peacefully snuggled up. 

“Seventeen, drunk off our asses, and walking to the 7-Eleven down the street from my house.” You spoke with disbelief, shaking your head. “It was so stupid. I don’t how we made it out perfectly fine..but we did.”

He scoffed humorously,  shaking his head with a grin as he looked at you from the corner of his eye. “Yeah. Thankfully. What were you thinking?”

You snorted, “That’s the thing, we weren’t.” You continued to caress the grey ball of fur’s head with the pads of your fingers, looking down at it with a small grin.

“You know, kittens are the best thing ever.” You said, like it was the equivalent to saying two plus two equals four.

He laughed at that, nodding in agreement as he put the lid over the pot before turning to you, leaning against the kitchen counter opposite you with his hands on the edge. “I’m a cat person, too. They can actually jump up to six times their height– they’re extremely athletic.” He started doing that thing with his hands as he spoke, eyes glinting as he enthusiastically rambled on, bringing a smile to your lips.

“They also have night vision, 32 muscles in their ears along with astonishing hearing– which can rotate 180 degrees. On October 18th, 1963— a cat was actually launched to space by French scientists. The cat’s name was Félicette.” He pronounced with an alarmingly good French accent. “And there’s actually been a cat mayor. His name was Mr. Stubbs, he came to paw-litical..” 

He breathed a laugh at his own small joke, grinning stupidly before licking his lips and continuing. “..power in 1997 of Talkeetna, Alaska when he was elected honorary mayor. He was an orange tabby cat. He was mayor for 20 years.”

You just stared at him in bewilderment for a long moment, completely shocked though increasingly impressed. “And you just..” You smiled amusedly, gaze narrowing suspiciously. “..Know all of that off the top of your head?”

He shrugged with a giddy nod and grin, fixing his glasses as he gazed at you proudly. “Mhm. I uhm..I actually have an eidetic memory and an IQ of 187, I can also read 20,000 words per minute.”

Your jaw dropped as you gazed at him wildly, the cat also lifting its head suddenly. “So..I’m talking to a genius.”

As he went back to paying attention to the food on the stove, he sheepishly nodded, wanting to be modest but also holding some inner cockiness. “I guess.”

“You guess?” You set the kitty down on the ground as you hopped down from the counter, stepping up beside him.

“You’re literally a genius. That’s so badass.”

His brows furrowed as he looked to the side at you, his glasses fogged from the steam that rose from what he was cooking, which made you giggle, eyes squinting as you widely grinned at the silly sight.

“You think it’s ‘badass?’”

“Mhm! Totally badass. Intelligence is the greatest power, you know. I learned that in high school government class.” You peeked at the food he was making before looking back up at him.

“Huh. Badass.” He liked that. You thinking of him as something impressive and worth praising, encouraging what others usually scoffed at in annoyance.

As you two ate side by side at the island, shoulder to shoulder– he couldn’t help but forget about how his days would be a rather tortuous, dreaded feat for him. Instead, all that came to mind was the vault of moments he had with you that just kept compiling.

He wished for more. What could he do to make these moments permanent? To make it forever. To make you and him forever.

“Spencer?” Your voice and wave of a hand in front of his face snapped him from his trance, drawing his attention back to you. 

“Hm?” He blinked, shaking his head to rid of the fog that clouded his mind.

You set your glass down after drinking from it, smiling at him kindly. “I was asking where you’re from originally since you said you moved here recently.”

“Oh. Uhm..” He looked down to his almost untouched food, grabbing his fork. “I’m from Las Vegas. Left when I was eighteen, lived in Virginia for quite a bit and..” He shrugged, looking back at you. “Now I’m here.”

“Huh.” You said, expression slightly surprised. “You don’t peg me as the type to be from Sin City.”

“Yeah, I get that a lot. Have you ever been?”

“Mhm. I have. Once. But..” You sighed, scratching your head. “It was with my ex-boyfriend. And..not only was he super controlling on the trip with what I was wearing, going, all of that. But it was also the trip where I found him cheating on me with some random girl in our hotel bed. So..safe to say I don’t have the best relationship with Las Vegas.” You laughed bitterly. “Yeah. He’s actually one of the reasons I moved here from New York.”

He was baffled. Completely. Somebody cheated on you? Why? What could imaginably be the reason for someone to do that to someone who withholds the beauty of both the moon and the sun? Both inside and out.

After a moment of collecting his own, he softly spoke with a shake of his head. “He’s a total imbecile. I’m sorry for that.”

“Eh, it’s..” You sucked in a deep breath before sighing as you swatted your hand. “Whatever. Anyway, enough about me. I want to know about you. You have this mysterious air about you.”

He nearly shriveled under the attention. He was never too good at talking about himself. It’s not like he liked to anyway. “Uhm..” He looked away as he thought, you taking some bites of your food, letting out a small hum of satisfaction. 

“I like science and philosophy jokes.” 

You raised a brow with an intrigued look, swallowing your food before speaking. “Oh yeah? Hit me.”

He then straightened up, clearing his throat before speaking, already grinning like a kid at disneyland. “How many existentialists does it take to screw a lightbulb?"

You hummed, head tilted and expression expectant. “How many?”

He let out a snort, putting two fingers up. “2. One to change the light bulb and one to observe how it symbolizes an incandescent beacon of subjectivity in a netherworld of cosmic nothingness."

The only sound in his sun-bathed, humble home was the refrigerator running (lol) and the distant sound of the dryer with your scarf in it. Could he even hear the air?

One mississippi, two mississippi–

The silence was broken with a snickered, loud laugh from you as you looked at him with a wide grin– one that made your eyes crinkle– and a shake of your head.

“You’re..something, Spencer Reid. I like it. One day you have to teach me all about it so I can fully grasp the nature of that joke.” 

“You’re..not mocking me?”

“What?” Your voice almost incredulous. “Mocking you? Why would I do that? I mean- I may have not.. completely understood your..joke.. but I still liked it. 10/10.”

Skip.

And then one more. Two skips of his heart. How could something as simple as you laughing at his joke make him feel so seen? Well, maybe that was an exaggeration. But still. It’s hard not to feel that when everywhere else he felt so alienated. Hell, even in a room full of scholars just like himself, he felt like he was the butt of the joke.

Instead of feeling his stomach twist uncomfortably with anxiety and regret, he felt it warm with relief and admiration. 

And instead of feeling his heart clench and climb to his throat like a newfound home, he felt it quicken and jump in excitement. Like it was trying to leap out of his chest to meet your own heart that he hoped was doing the same. 

~

Your scarf had long been washed and dried. The dinner long gone, stomachs satisfied, and dishes washed. Though you still breathed the same air as him, still helped him with filling the four walls of his home with laughter and mild chaos, and still filled his nostrils with the scent of your faint perfume that was mixed with the underlying scent of just you. 

Because you were still here. 

With him.

You groaned in exasperation and frustration, throwing your cards down with a huff as you glowered at him. You just lost another round of poker to him.

“You have to be cheating! Are you peeking? Did you rig it?”

He laughed with a shake of his head and shrugged, grabbing the chips from the pot to where he had his whole pile of chips already forming. “Nope. Just better than you.”

You rolled your eyes with a huff before shaking your head. “It’s because your ass is from Las Vegas. I’m not leaving until I win a game.” You said as you started grabbing all the cards and shuffling them.

He snorted at that, even rolling his own eyes at your statement. Which he took as a joke. After shuffling the cards and dealing them out to the both of you evenly, you got up and pointed at him with a knowing expression. “No cheating. I’m going to the bathroom.”

Once you were down the hall, he immediately flipped your fanned deck up and peeked before nodding to himself and putting it back down. Since you were gone for a moment, he had to sit with his thoughts for a few minutes. 

He didn’t want to admit it to himself but his thoughts heavily circled around just everything you. How– just like the moon upon the ocean– you had a magnetic pull, he the ocean. And how– just like the daystar– your light would peek through the cracks of even the gloomiest of days. You brought a stillness to everything. More specifically his mind. You brought a lingering silence and tranquility that he often craved– what he precisely yearned for from this town. You made and let him just be.

He doesn’t remember the last time he was able to do that.

Eventually you padded your way back into the living room and sat back down on the floor across from him, grabbing your cards from the table before looking at him slowly with a brow raise.

“You cheated.” 

“What? No, I-” You were already placing your cards on the bottom of the deck and grabbing five new fresh ones from the top. Which made him visibly deflate with a huff, looking to the side with a slight pout.

“Ha! See. You being upset about me getting different cards proves it.” You gloated, wearing a smug smirk as you held your chin high.

“Why are you acting like you won already?” That immediately wiped the expression from your face as you did the same as he did– deflating with a pout. But you also glared at him from the corner of your eye.

“Just..freaking start already.” You said in a sour tone as you both placed your starting bets in the pot. Which was a chip that you both agreed was the value of ‘ten dollars.’

As the next game of poker started, he kept his gaze on you with a narrowed, analytical though easy gaze while you kept your own callous and untelling.

“I’ll raise you..” He slid five chips of 20 into the pot before meeting your gaze with his own, a cocky grin plastered on his lips– to which you stared at him with your jaw dropped and deadpan.

“You suck. You actually suck.” You sighed, sliding the same amount before looking to your own hand, studying it then looking at the community cards. 

Ten minutes later. Again. Cards were heard being thrown against the table with a frustrated huff, to which he laughed in amusement.

“Ugh. This is actually bullshit. I’m never winning a game. You keep cheating and one day I’ll prove it!” You finished off with a huff, crossing your arms as you glared at him.

He continued to laugh as he fixed his glasses, bringing all the chips from the middle pot to his side. The ratio of his chips compared to yours was…..embarrassing. 

“You still have yet to beat me.” His voice was completely smug and he saw the way it pissed you off even more.

With a long exaggerated sigh and roll of your eyes, you stood from the ground– stretching your limbs with a glance at the clock. “As much as I’d love to stay here and..continue getting my ass kicked by you, it’s getting late. And I love my sleep. So.”

He had been hoping that those words wouldn’t come. But he knew it couldn’t work his way, so he nodded with a forced smile as he stood as well.

“Yeah. Yeah, of course. I..I had fun.”

You nodded with a small grin as you started to grab your things, making sure to get everything. “I did, too. The food was delicious by the way. So thank you.”

He forced a nod and faint smile, rising from his feet as well. “Of course. Uhm..let me walk you out.”

Once you got your shoes and coat on, he opened the front door for you, you both walking out.

“I had a nice time. I’ll take care of Mini-Meow, don’t worry.” He softly spoke, not yet wanting you to go. 

“I did, too. And you better. I’ll be visiting to make sure I don’t have to take full custody.” You said with an exaggerated, serious expression and pointed finger.

He was about to respond before he paused, looking around then looking back at you with his brows furrowing. “Hey, wait– are you walking home?”

You nodded with a small sigh, tucking your hands into your coat pockets. “I am. I’m not that far from here. I’d say like ten minutes.”

He immediately shook his head, shutting the door behind him and stepping closer once as he fixed his glasses. “I’ll walk you home. I don’t like the idea of you walking home alone this late.”

“Hm…okay. Thank you.” You said with a smile, you both now on your way to your home.

The walk was, like you said, ten or so minutes. It was cold and quiet, the gracings of moonlight shining on both your faces. Most of the time though, as you two talked on and on, he couldn’t help but look at you and you only.

“Well..yeah. I graduated high school at 12. Got my undergrad degree at 16. I actually gave my first lecture at 19. So.”

To which, you looked at him with a scoff, brows raised in disbelief. “You’re kidding. Holy..you really are a fucking genius. What are you? Related to Einstein?”

He shook his head with a laugh, looking down at you whilst you both walked in time together. “No. I am not but..though being a so-called ‘genius’ does have its perks. It also has it’s downs.”

With a curious and listening ear, you tilted your head in curiosity, encouraging him to continue. “Like what exactly? If you don’t mind me asking. You totally don’t have to answer that.”

“Well..” He shrugged, looking forward instead as he contemplated his words. “It’s not exactly the easiest for me to..make friends. Or relationships of any kind. I mostly just stick to logic over emotion, too. So that probably doesn’t help.”

“Hm.” You nodded slowly, staring at his side profile as he spoke before looking back forward, absorbing his words without judgement. “I think..maybe you should start listening to your heart over your mind more.”

~

It went on like that for weeks. Walks, dates, whispered moments mixed with giggles. He didn’t know when he let it happen but he had started to feel...very deep emotions for you. Things he didn’t even know he could. Sure, he’s had a girlfriend or two before but this was completely new territory for him. 

For once, his heart was starting to override his brain. And he wasn’t sure if he minded it too much anymore, especially if it meant he got to be with you.

There was that time where you both just basked in the mutual but comfortable silence of his living room, your head on his lap with his right hand running through your hair, left holding the book he read to you, his voice being the only thing to break said silence, him being able to see how your eyes fluttered shut from the corner of his eye. 

When you two walked town with ice cream, stumbling upon a group of baby ducks and their mother— you nearly exploding from cuteness overload. He had watched your reaction with a soft, loving gaze.

There was that time you had– he still didn’t know how– successfully convinced him to go roller skating with you. The night had been filled with clumsy falls, boisterous laughter, and bruised butts. He still remembers how your hand felt in his.

Oh! And that moment when you two slow danced to some 60’s music atop the same roof you two once star gazed at, him stepping on your foot a few times. He memorized the sound and feel of your steady breathing, the scent of your shampoo, how your warm body snugly fit against his.

Of course, these moments were never permanent in time as how they were in his mind and heart. 

Currently you two were laying on a blanket on a grassy hill, him pointing out the constellations. You two had just gotten back from having a nice..unexpected, dinner together.

“Okay, and you see those stars right there?” He pointed North, your heads directly near each other so you could see from one another’s view.

“Mmmm..” Your brows furrowed, trying to decipher the exact star he was referencing. “Oh! Yeah, I see it.” 

He then started to lead his finger along the stars which formed the shape of Ursa Major. “Follow my finger. Mhm, that’s Ursa Major.” He looked to the side at you, making sure you were following along– only continuing when he was sure you saw it, too.

“It’s one of the oldest constellations. Its right ascension is 9 hours, 46 minutes, and 31.7 seconds. Its declination is about 57 degrees positive from the celestial equator. It contains a nebula, a double star, and several distant galaxies that can be seen with a telescope. And the big dipper? Seven of the brightest stars in Ursa Major shape it.”

Your head turned away from said constellation, looking at him instead with a delicate smile and curious gaze. “You really just know all that off the top of your head?”

He didn’t know why but that simple sentence brought a great amount of deja vu to him.

His gaze drifted to your own with a mirrored smile, nodding proudly though obliviously. “Mhm.”

He watched as you turned onto your side to face him, each individual eyelash visible from how close you two had been. “Huh. You truly are a wonder, Spencer Reid.”

His stomach flipped with his lips parting in surprise, breath hitching with this decipherable flicker of awe and longing in his eyes.

To him, the words that fell from your lips weren’t just a simple compliment– they were a smooth, angelic melody of praise that only mattered because it was from your lips– one that he’d gladly drown in indefinitely, one that he’d bathe in to wash away his terror and tragedy, the very one he’d consume as his sustenance, one that he knew he couldn’t survive without.

There was words he so desperately was trying to pull from his throat– but for some reason he was just..frozen. 

When he finally was able to open his mouth and barely get a word out, he was cut off by the feel of your lips on his own. His eyes had widened, even more stunned than he previously was.

Before he could even react and kiss you back, you had pulled away with a breath– leaving him disappointed and with a small frown. “I’m sorry, I’ve just been really wanting to do that all night. And then you were just staring at me and not saying anything, so I–”

His lips collided with your own, tired of simply wondering what your lips tasted like and how they’d feel with his. Instead wanting to figure it out on his own.

It wasn’t long before your own lips started to move with his, one of his hands moving to brush some hair from your face and find place on the smooth skin of your cheek, thumb slowly rubbing back and forth absentmindedly. 

He could feel his heart skip a beat when he felt you smile against his lips, one of your hands tangling in his own hair as he shifted to slightly lean over you.

-

His hands were shaking with need and desperation as they traced your skin so tenderly, lips slowly dragging up the side of your neck– almost reverent – one of his hands finding home at your hip, gripping and holding it down firmly against the mattress.

The bedroom was solely illuminated by the moonlight peeking through the curtains of his window but it was enough for him to see how your head tipped back against the pillows, chest heaving with your face beautifully contorted in pleasure.

“So..” He panted against the shell of your ear, his hand by your head fisting the sheets beneath you both, inhaling your scent deeply. “So good..you feel so good.” His voice came out breathless, completely desperate, pronounced with a soft whine.

Your own hips jolted in response to his wantonness, goosebumps littering the expanse of your skin, hands threaded tightly in his hair. “Spencer,” you moaned breathlessly. 

“I know..I know.” He then lifted his head to look down into your eyes before meeting your mouth with his own again, his eyes shutting as he brought his hand from your hip to the side of your face, the other tangling in the strands of your hair.

His hips met yours over and over in a deep, achingly slow pace that made it sure for you both to feel every inch of one other. 

One of your hands dragged down his back, nails leaving red streaks as your breath mingled together, skin pressed flush against each other.

With his hand in your hair, he angled your head to have more access to your mouth, his tongue delving past your lips against your own, earning a groan straight from his chest at the taste of you.

Swallowing his groan, you breathed your words against his lips, the hand that was still in his hair gently tugging. “Faster..need more. Please.”

“Mm. Yeah?” He pulled away, watching how a sleek string of saliva connected your tongues before it broke. “I’ll give you anything you need.” His gaze drifted down to where both your bodies met, his hand from your cheek slowly and gently moving down to the small of your back, leaving a lasting, hot trail of goosebumps.

A soft, needy gasp left his own lips with his eyes fluttering shut when he compiled to your words, once more slotting his lips against your own in a deep, all-consuming kiss as your bodies met deeply.

He revelled in the way your legs tightly wrapped around his hips, his fingertips massaging your scalp gently as the room started to fill with heavy breathing and the moans that left both of your swollen lips. 

His body shuddered as a slow, tantalizing shiver coursed through his body from the way you sucked his bottom lip into your mouth, his fingertips pressing into the skin of your back as his movements gradually started to grow frantic.

Your own mouth fell open in a gasp against his, pleasure leaving you incapable of doing anything but turn into a growing mess beneath him. 

“Like that..don’t stop..god, don’t stop,” you fought to get out, which was nearly impossible with how your body was practically vibrating with burning, overwhelming  need. 

He was only able to weakly nod in response, completely overtaken by the feel of you around him, the mewls and soft sighs that fanned across his skin from your own lips, and just the way you sounded. So desperate, breathless, and utterly sinful.

But it was just also the fact that he finally had you. He had you in his arms, as close as physically possible, there with him. You were so beautiful he felt it was absurd you didn’t have people bowing at your knees as you walked.

He felt himself grow verklempt with gratitude and infatuation. He felt so privileged that it was him you were with.

To his own thoughts and feeling of your body wrapped in his, he couldn’t help the string of moans that left his lips- which mixed with your own as he held you tightly to his skin, his breathing ragged. “I..-”

The words 'I love you' hung on the tip of his tongue, which surprised him greatly. He never thought of himself as someone to get emotional during sex. He hadn’t even fully known he loved you yet.

He quickly caught himself, knowing he couldn’t say that to you since you barely knew him. So he opted for a breathless plea against your neck. “I..I need you. So badly.”

Your back started to arch off the mattress with your own body coiling up, nodding quickly with your arms holding him close like a lifeline.

“Me too..Spencer, I..,” You gasped, throat bobbing as you thickly gulped.

A low, guttural moan pulled from the back of his throat as his hips stuttered, feeling his stomach start to tighten as his movements only grew more feverant. “Could listen to the way you say my name all day..”

He noticed the way your thighs tightened around him, hips lifting with sweet, needy noises leaving your plump lips that made you sound like you hadn’t ever properly been touched. He knew you were getting close.

His hand trailed from your back to your hip bone, his touch featherlike and slow. “I know. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you,” He whispered between kisses against your collarbone.

Your hips jolted with a gaped moan as his fingers grazed over your clit, the tips of them moving in tight, slow circles in time with his hips.

The sound and sight of you in itself sent a sensual, slow shiver down his spine, which made him tremble and nearly come undone right then and there. 

He moved his free hand to your chin, tipping your head up so your eyes can meet his as he continued to get you closer and closer, his pace and fingers unrelenting. “I got you. You’re doing so good.”

And thanks to his eidetic memory, the feeling of your walls clenching around him as you approached your orgasm, your calls of his name would forever be burned into his mind.

Your chest rose and fell in short, heavy breaths as your head tipped back with your eyes shutting, breaking his gaze as you did so. “Oh..oh my god. I’m gonna..” 

A deep groan escaped his lips as he had to keep himself from spilling himself inside of you, his nose tracing the angle of your jawline, nodding quickly. “I got you. Come for me. You’re doing so good.”

His words were what caused the string in your lower stomach to snap– the sting from your nails clawing at his back and gripping of your thighs around his hips was enough for him to know you were coming and it only brought him closer to his own orgasm, his breath catching in his throat as his hips stuttered and vision went black, spilling his release into you with a moan of your name.

“Shit..,” He breathed against your neck, his body collapsing atop yours after a few seconds. “That was..”

You nodded as you moved some hair away from his face that was sticking to his skin with one hand, doing the same to yourself with the other. “Amazing.”

He smiled against your skin, planting a sweet, gentle kiss– taking a few minutes to catch his breath and just bask in the afterglow before slipping himself out of you and standing from the bed. “I’ll be right back.”

But before he could get away, you tugged him back down into a heated but sweet, blazing kiss before letting him go, flashing that wicked grin at him.

With a cheeky, shit-eating grin he stepped out and just like he said, he quickly returned, now with a warm damp cloth and glass of water.

He cleaned you up, had you rehydrate- to which he insisted were necessary-, and you both now were tangled in the sheets and in each other’s arms.

His gaze drifted to the side at the digital clock beside his bed, smiling to himself triumphantly. 1:37 A.M. 

Did he beat it?

With this newfound victory, he looked back down to the side of your head rested on his chest, his fingers delicately running through the strands of your hair, sighing softly at the way the moonlight accentuated the lines of your face, which was an arresting sight.

The comfortable, mutual silence was broken by the soft, low sound of your voice. “You know..”

You lifted your head, meeting his gaze with your own. “I don’t..usually have sex on the first date. But..” You shrugged, sitting up a bit.

“I really like you,” You continued, his own gaze slightly widening as he felt his own heart nearly beat out of his chest.

‘Yeah?” He asked with a hopeful tilt to his voice and loving gaze.

“Mhm,” You carried on. “And..I don’t know.” He watched as you shrugged, moving closer with an almost endearing glint in your eyes. One that was directed at him. 

“I would..really like to see where this could go. You and me. How..about you?”

He nearly choked on his spit, his heart melting into a puddle with his eyes forming into those usual puppy eyes of his. “I..” a smile grew on his lips, one that he couldn’t control. “Yeah, I’d really like that.”

“Yeah?” You questioned with a mirrored smile and wide eyes.

“Yeah. I really would.”

He pulled you closer, arms wrapping around your waist as he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, almost like he was seeking shelter.

The sensation of your fingers running through his hair casted a blanket of fuzzy warmth around him, making him hum in contentment as he listened to the sound of your soft breathing and heartbeat.

He really can’t remember the last time he felt like this. He doesn’t know if he even ever has. Being with you, learning every little detail about you, sharing moments together has been something he really can’t put into words.

All he knew was that it felt like drinking hot coco in warm blankets while watching movies on a rainy day. It felt like watching the sunset from a hill while being entangled with the person you love. And it felt like learning a language he didn’t ever want to forget or share with anyone else.

Really, it felt like coming home.

You and he remained like that for a few more hours, entangled in the sheets with shared, small giggles and smiles, staring at the ceiling together with tired, barely audible words exchanged, Mini-Meow lying between the both of you at one point- learning about each other even more as well as your lives that he hoped would continue to twine together. 

The soft, gentle feeling of your hands in his hair paired with the feel of your skin beneath his fingertips as he ran them up and down your smooth, warm skin brought his mind to a quiet peace, eventually putting him to sleep. 

It was the best sleep he had in ages.

The next morning when he woke up, everything was reset. Again.

 And when he realized this, he cried for hours. Sobbed, actually. He didn’t know if it was from frustration, anger, sadness, desperation– maybe all and more. He felt so pathetic. But he was just so done. He was also kind of scared.

~

He didn’t care how sloppy he looked with his pjs still on, hair tousled– he just knew he had to stop by the bookstore to check if you really–once again– forgot who he was and everything that happened between you both. Everything that was intimate, so beautiful, so delicate between the two of you.

He cherished it.

Would you?

Only life didn’t work that way. And his certainly didn’t.

When he heard the same, daunting greeting you’ve told him a million times before- like he was no one to you- he almost collapsed. And he wasn’t exaggerating.

He swore he felt his last breath escape his lips, he should've died from broken-heart syndrome right then and there. The cause of death where someone literally dies from a broken heart, where an abrupt surge of stress hormones are produced that disrupt the heart's normal function, ultimately ending up in death. 

Yeah. That.

From then on, he spent his days wallowing in self pity. Drowning in his misery. Near agony. At first, it started with the constant searching for answers. By nonstop..he meant non. stop. He wouldn’t change out of his clothes, didn’t shower, didn’t even stop to eat or drink. 

He was desperate but he didn’t care. He used this manic state to touch every subject, book, online resource, literally everything possible related to time, physics– hell, he didn’t care. Anything to figure this shit show out.

Then eventually, he had another idea and tried tried to leave town. He had packed all his necessities, everything he needed for Mini-Meow, and left. Booked a flight and just left. 

That didn’t work.

And there was that one time, where he saw you and some guy walking into some bar when he was walking home.

Of course, he followed you both in. Totally innocent. 

The night ended in him drunk from drowning himself in hard liquor in the corner of said bar.

Why?

Oh, maybe because you were singing karaoke with your date. Practically perched on his lap. With the occasional– not so innocent- kiss.

God, he was covetting so hard. It actually hurt. 

After the hangover that transpired the next morning, it completely went downhill.

One day, he poured his heart out to you– confessed his love like a crazy obsessive stalker, because- well - hell, why not? It’s not like it’d fucking matter in the end.

He told you about all the past times you had together, everything he knew about you, all the love that he had bottled up in every atom of his body for you. It was pathetic to him, and definitely terrifying for you.

Whoops.

Then, there were other times where he begged on his knees for you, tried to play hero when the flood happened in the bookstore to get your attention- to which he ended up making it worse, one time where he was drunk and passed out right in front of you before he could even get a word out.

So, he decided to simply just watch you from afar because he knew you were something he could only admire and yearn for. Not actually have.

He would say he lost you, but you can’t lose something you never had. 

And that fact only haunted him every second, of every day. 

So then, the next cycle started.

 Science and everyone else would call it depression.

He called it life on hiatus. 

He still kept up his mild research, which reduced in size day by day– only it now would be in his bed. 

On and on, your song would be on-loop, like a maddening background to his endless suffering. 

Broken down and hungry for your love

With no way to feed it

Where are you tonight?

Child, ya know how much I need it

“Fuck,” He muttered to himself, looking down at his shirt that he now stained by dropping a spoonful of ice cream on.

With a sigh, he got up from his bed, trudged out of his room while peeling off his shirt, and to the laundry room.

He opened the washer, throwing in the shirt with a frustrated grumble, soap, and so on. Once he got the cycle running, he turned to the dryer, opening it to make sure nothing was in it for when his shirt was done washing. 

It was like a bucket of cold water had been poured over his head.

When he saw your scarf in there, he wanted to punch a wall. Simultaneously, he also wanted to ball up and sob until he had no more tears to shed.

His hand shakily reached out, grabbing it– to which he sort of struggled with how blurry his vision was from the wall of tears that rapidly transpired.

A broken, absolutely devastated and defeated cry left his lips when he inhaled its scent. He didn’t know how it still held your scent. He didn’t even know how the scarf was still there. He didn’t even fucking know how the cat was still there with him for christ’s sake!

That day of you bringing in that damn kitten in, all wrapped up in your scarf, the dinner, poker, him walking you home– it was ingrained in his mind like a damn tattoo. Both a blessing and a curse.

The intimate night you shared burned onto his eyelids so every time he shut his eyes he’d see you so beautifully splayed out beneath him. The events that led to that moment– how beautiful the night sky reflected onto your features.

He almost hated you for running through his mind so endlessly. Almost. But he knew he couldn’t. Not ever.

So I'll wait for you, love

And I'll burn

Will I ever see your sweet return?

Oh, will I ever learn?

Oh-oh, lover, you should've come over

'Cause it's not too late

It’d been a few days, he had slept with that scarf every night with Jeff Buckley playing on repeat through the earbuds he also went to sleep with.

He hadn’t seen you in ‘weeks’ since he didn’t leave at all. His only company ‘Mini-Meow.’ Which..still pained him. Considering you were both his ‘parents.’

He didn’t really hear the sound of his own voice as often now. Which only heightened the silence and isolation that he felt was perpetual.

He still searched for answers. Only..barely now.

He was starting to lose hope. Not only in finding said answer but in..everything. He didn’t understand why he had to start reliving this same day over and over if it meant he didn’t get to change anything. He always ended up in the same spot.

Yes, it was the reliving the same haunting day over and over that brought an unsoundness of mind to his soul, but it was- and he’s told himself this before- the fact that he couldn’t. do anything. about it. He didn’t know anything. He was lost.

He was completely lost and he had no idea what else there was to do. No answers. No possibilities for him.

But he knew.

He knew there was one thing he didn’t try.

~

He was terrified. 

Staring down at water below him as he stood atop the very bridge you two once stood together at. Poetic, right?

It was night– so no one would bother him or try to interfere. He wanted this.

Right?

A shiver ran down his spine from both fear and the breeze that nearly swayed him off the edge.

He did think it over for a few minutes. Was this the right thing to do? Or was it just a mix of helplessness and a need for answers dwindling together that got him here?

He knew the answer, he just wouldn’t say it aloud. He really didn’t care anymore. He was in a never ending broken record-like world of agony. Shortened version? He was dead inside. 

He was empty. His soul was void of any light; void of you, his heart was simply functioning, not really beating. The oxygen he breathed in felt like something he needed to eradicate. Because what was the use?

Living was simply torture at this point. It was if the grim reaper himself had his throat tightly in his grasp, taunting him. Teasing him with death above ground.

“Okay,” He whispered to himself. Almost a promise. For what? He didn’t know.

Tightly, he shut his eyes. Taking one last, deep, shaky breath. And leaned forward.

The cold wind blew against his skin and pushed his hair back as he descended with an increasing speed.

And he saw it, the ‘life flashing before your eyes' thing people always said.

All he saw was you.

He saw your radiating smile that always reached your eyes when it was directed at him. He heard your boisterous laughter, the way your head would tip back as your eyes shut. He saw the glimmer in your eyes when you talked about something you loved or even when you listened to him talk about something he loved. He saw your puffed out cheeks when they were stuffed with food and he remembered how it would make him laugh endearingly. 

He remembered how your lips felt on his cheek that first night. How he felt your warmth radiating off your own skin and onto his when he touched you, or when you held him and vice versa. He remembered how your scent was so distinguishably you, it always mixing with the perfume scent he loved.

The way you said his name. How it’d sometimes have a teasing edge to it. Or how you shouted his name in a laugh when he accidentally pulled you down with him while you both roller skated. You had ended on top of him, the crash being a mix of ‘ow’s’ and laughter, only for you two to be yelled at since you were in the middle of the rink in people’s ways.

He suddenly realized that you were the one constant in his life. You tied everything together. He needed you.

No.

No. No, he didn’t want this anymore. He couldn’t do this. He wanted to go back. He’d make it work. He had to.

The water had slowly, but very painfully filled his lungs. It was a burning, flame-like sensation. His body jerked and he clawed at his throat as he panicked– suddenly forgetting how to swim. He began to have hypoxic convulsions, his muscles spasming as his screams got muffled by the water.

He grew disoriented, thrashing around, not even knowing which way was up anymore because it was pitch black. Because it was fucking night. 

He could feel himself slip away, losing consciousness, body going completely numb.

And then–

He abruptly sat up from his bed, coughing and gasping loudly which woke up the kitten beside him.

His wide eyes searched the room as he threw the duvet off himself, turning to the side and looking at the blue numbers he always did.

Of course. Same time, same day.

How?

How wasn’t he fucking dead?

After an hour or so of just..staring at the ceiling..questioning his sanity and just simply repeating the same question in his mind; what the fuck, he quickly dressed, cleaned himself up and burned everything.

He burned his research books, threw out his whiteboard, whatever else he had that related to his research that he busted his ass on.

“Bullshit.” He threw out another book. “Bullshit.” Another. “Bullshit!”

He huffed, slamming the door behind him, taking a deep breath and strided to town. Where did he find this newfound courage and confidence? Who knew. He certainly didn’t.Maybe it was the basically dying. But whatever.

With his chin high, tailored slacks and purple tie, he got his coffee (tipped the barista), walked to the neighboring bookstore and–

Shit.

“Shit.”

He stared at the sign that read ‘Helena’s Book Home,’ suddenly frozen in place, to which a few people had to weave around him. His breath left his lungs, the sensation akin to the one he felt ‘last night.’

He was terrified because he didn’t know if he could take it again. You looking at him with zero recognition. Because to him, you were the love of his life. You were his life. You were his safe haven, his lifeline, you were- as typical as it sounded- his everything. 

You were what he lived for.

But the thought that resided at the forefront of his mind was..

What if he continued to just be nothing to you?

With a shaky hand, he stepped forward, entering the bookstore where– he had come to realize a while ago– it all started.

The bell rang above the door, it softly closing shut behind him. He felt his throat go dry when he seen you behind the front desk, his body feeling like it wasn’t his and coiling up, his anxiety spiking.

Then a gasp. “Spence!” You practically crashed into him, arms wrapping around the back of his neck.

He looked at you with wide eyes, his heart rate quickly escalating, his breathing growing erratic, and-

“Oh my god!” You exclaimed, immediately kneeling down to cradle his fainted form.

~

As his eyes slowly peeled open, he immediately winced from the bright, fluorescent hospital lights, starting to sit up.

“Woah! Hey, easy.” He felt hands push him back down gently, those hands belonging to you. And when he realized that, he felt like he might faint all over again.

“I..” His brows furrowed as he looked around, inhaling deeply. “Did you take me to the hospital?” 

You breathed a small laugh, shrugging with a sheepish expression. “I didn’t know what else to do. I was so worried and..and I remember hugging you and then..and then- you just..you fainted! So–”

He pulled you down into a sweet, deep and needy kiss with his hands on your jaw. He needed this. He needed you. After everything, he knew he just needed to take. To feel. To want.

How were you here and still remembering him? He didn’t know. But he honestly didn’t care. Not anymore. He was done racking his brain with trying to find the logic in things. With driving himself crazy. With demanding instead of living. With searching instead of feeling. 

That changed now.

Because all he cared about now was the smile he felt against his lips from yours– the kiss deepening for a few more seconds before you pulled away- to which he chased your lips with his own before he relented.

“Someone’s happy. What’s all that about?” You inquired with a teasing hilt to your voice, gazing at him softly with your thumb gently caressing his cheek.

“I’m just..” He shook his head, staring up at you with a wide smile, trying to gather his thoughts into words.

He inhaled deeply, holding your gaze– yours reflecting love and endearment back at him.

“I love you.”

'Cause it's not too late

Upcoming works

©2025 INSANEBOOKREADER

[jamil-s-wifey]

If you're taking any scenario request. Maybe could I request funny/silly one where Leona and his S/O are married and live in the Royal Palace. Leona's S/O has gotten lost somehow in their own home and when found their response is "This place is too damn big I'm sorry!"

You have NO idea how much I love these types of fics! Wholesome crackheadedness at its finest✨ We love a spouse with 0 orientation skills. (I'd know, I get lost in supermarkets) This was ONE OF THE FUNNIEST THINGS I've EVER written. I hope you enjoy!

"What the actual fuck."

A turn here. A turn there.

Oh, would you look at that - the exact same vase you passed 5 minutes ago. But was that really the same vase? Or was it its evil twin, trying to further confuse you, only for you to get lost even more and die of starvation, eventually BECOMING ONE WITH THE PALACE...

God, whoever built this palace should have their head on a stake. Haha, that sounded a lot like the Red Queen of Hearts. Perhaps Riddle was rubbing off on you. You two did text occasionally since graduating from NRC.

Speaking of graduation, you married Leona. (yay!) And it's not like you weren't happy. Life was relatively peaceful. You two moved back to the palace. Arrangements had begun for you two to take over a certain part of Sunset Savannah, as something akin to a *Peerage. (They had their own name for it, you are currently far too annoyed to remember.) A lot of (semi-forced) communication set the road to reconciliation between the two brothers. (Admittedly a very long road. A road that puts Gulliver's travels to shame.) The Royal Family™️ accepted you with open hearts. (albeit a tad wary at first)

Really there was only one major problem.

The ROYAL PALACE IS LIKE A GODDAMN LABYRINTH. And that's rich, given your history of painting the white roses with Ace and Deuce in Heartsabyul's maze. So here you are, lost.

Scratch that.

Lost: again.

And all you wanted to do was find Cheka's room. You had a gift for the little cub.

"An architectural masterpiece, my ass. This is an architectural disaster. A disaster with a capital D. D for Vitamin D - what I won't be getting, because I'm trapped within these walls, where the SUN CAN'T REACH ME-"

Okay. Calm down. It's not that bad, sure there isn't a soul in sight, but you're bound to stumble upon somebody at some point, right? There had to be servants, or guards, or somebody! UNLESS! This is all an elaborate plan to get rid of you.

Aha! That must be it. The Royal Family wants you dead and they intend to make it seem like an accident! But Leona wouldn't allow that, right? He loves you! Dearly! You're his spouse, his one and only! Ah, cruel fate.

Is it just you...or are these walls moving in on each other. So this IS an assassination attempt! And you presented yourself on a silver platter. Good job, s/o. Splendid work. A royal for a few months and you're already about to be assassinated. Your name shall remain the book of "Dumbest ways to die." Goodbye cruel world-

"S/o."

Leona's voice rang through the empty hallway, "What are you doing out here."

Ah! And so tragedy was avoided once more!

"Leona, my LOVE! Thank God."

"Did you just- get lost in the palace... again?", his eyes read annoyance but his tone was teasing.

"It's not MY fault this place is so damn big, what do you need all this space for anyways? Indoor badminton? Hide and Seek or Die?"

"Definitely that last one. That's how we get rid of our enemies."

"AHA! I knew it! So this IS an assassination attempt!"

He simply rolled his eyes, pulling you towards him to wrap an arm around your waist and kiss you on the forehead.

"This isn't an assassination attempt. You did this yourself. It's called idiocy."

"You should build a better palace."

"What I should do is put a collar on you. With a tracking device on it. Like a pet."

"Oh, Leona~ Who knew you were into that~"

"Next time I'm leaving you here to rot."

"Then I'll haunt you to Hell and back."

He smirked, pinching your cheek as you were both making your way far from the cursed looping corridor.

"At least you won't be able to get lost."

"I told you, it's not my fault."

"Nah, of course not. The Palace is just cursed."

"EVIDENTLY."

You both knew this isn't the last time you'll be getting lost. And Leona was seriously considering the tracking device.

Perhaps he'd already ordered it too.

You were about to find out.

*Peerage - collective noun for titles like Duke, Duchess, Count, Earl etc. Comes from "Peers of the Realm" where one could hold one or more of these titles. It differs from monarchy to monarchy. THAT'S YOUR WORD FOR THE DAY FOLKS!

[louiseolivier]

Fic Idea

Post 8x05

Bobby's acting strangely—not overtly, but just enough that everyone is side-eyeing each other. Buck decides to hang back after his shift one morning and catches Bobby still in his office. He asks him what's up, and Bobby admits that even though Gerrard is gone, that doesn't mean the budget cuts also went away. The good news is that with union pushback, instead of firing someone, they've agreed to rotating month-long furloughs, effective Nov 1st.

Buck immediately volunteers for A shift. He'll do Nov and Dec. Bobby says he can't let Buck sacrifice that much of his paycheck. Buck tells him he's got enough stocked away for a couple of months and that he wants to do this. It might even be good for him.

The first month is really good. Tommy works 48/96, so they get four full days off together and it's amazing. They had a mini vacation in Palm Springs where they went stargazing, hung out by the pool, and spent a day in Joshua Tree.

Buck gets in a lot of reading and knocks down his sizable tbr. He fills in as a sitter for Jee-Yun and enjoys the hell out of spending time with his niece (never mind her deep disappoint on the days Tommy isn't there too). He also gives himself a full day of doing nothing but scrolling his phone. He jumps from one Wikipedia article to another and explores exceedingly niche substacks.

And he still gets 118 time. At least once a week he goes in and cooks a filling lunch for them. He does it at the 217 too, where they sing his praises. He even spent two days being a firefighter when Chim came down with a cold. All in all his month off was pretty amazing, and he figures December would be a piece of cake. He's so sure that he tells Bobby he'll take January too.

Except it stops being a piece of cake. Two days in and he's already restless. It doesn't help when Tommy, Chim, and Eddie show up and tell him how they worked together for a rooftop rescue at Nakatomi Tower. Buck doesn't know the building and asks where it's located. The guys are dumbfounded. "Like, Die Hard, man," Eddie tells him. "Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs?" Tommy says hopefully. "Die Hard...Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker?" Chimney prods. "Oh, yeah," Buck says, having it all click together.

After that his aimlessness really takes hold. He keeps himself busy by feeding the 217 breakfast, lunch, and dinner on the days Tommy works. On his second day, one of Tommy's crew tells him, "You know, you should start taking orders. Make some money since they won't let you fight fires.

Buck's surprised at how fast the idea takes hold. He spends all four of his days with Tommy talking about it. He feels like he's vibrating out of his skin, and he falls just a little more in love with Tommy when he tells Buck that his idea is not only good, but that he knows a guy who can help make it happen.

Buck next goes to his team and explains his idea. He's going to open a sandwich service. Nearby fire stations will send in orders the day before, the sandwiches will be made the next morning, and delivered throughout the afternoon. Tommy has a friend who will rent out commercial kitchen space to him, and the employees will be fellow furloughed firefighters. They wouldn't be making the same pay, but they would be making something instead of draining out their savings like Buck. Eddie's all in, but Hen and Chim are a little more hesitant. Whether they come around or not, that's okay. Buck plans on starting small and thinks he can do it with three or four people, and he has multiple firehouses to pull from. But he knows his biggest hurdle is coming up with the start-up cash.

He toys with the idea of asking his parents for a loan. They were willing to fork over money for Chim and Maddie's down payment, and they swear up and down they want to make amends, so if Buck needs to use guilt to get a cut, he will. Before he can work up the nerve to ask, Tommy hands him a card and calls it an early Christmas present. Inside is a check for 10k. Buck's floored and misty eyed. He asks how and why and are you sure? Tommy pulls him in and tells Buck that he's sure. That he believes in Buck and wants to do whatever he can to help him succeed. Including making sandwiches.

And that's it. That's all I've got. Purged from the system.

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Currently Watching - July

aka The Masterlist

Because I love a good little list - in alphabetical order! 😊

Regularly updated during the month, latest update 12.07.2025.

A little link to my favorite bl-tropes-collection 💙 If you have any ideas or special wishes, just let me know and I will look if I can prepare a set or already did one and tag you 😊

gif-requests are open, but you'll need to have some patience🌼

Here you can find all of my gifs.

At the end you can have a look at what we can expect in July.

This is guaranteed to contain spoilers!

1. 40 Made ni Shitai 10 no Koto (2/12)

They were touching fingers! Yay! I really like this series. I love how straight forward Keishi is and how smitten Suzume already is. He is so happy and is looking forward to their next date! And I am too! I read the manga in the meantime and I know this won't be as steamy as the manga, but it is such a lovely short story! And they were touching fingers! Such a huge step for Suzume. Oh I love them.

2. Ameagari no Bokura ni Tsuite 🇯🇵 (3/6)

Second chance love stories are so adorable. And you can tell Kosuke really likes Shinichiro. There is something with Kosuke's family and I am a little bit afraid this will have a bad impact on their blooming relationship. I love dates at the aquarium. They always feel kinda calm and the blue is soothing.

3. I Became the Main Role of a BL Drama Season 2 🇯🇵 (4/6)

Hm. This second season is kind of a let down. I loved the first season, but this one feels so forced and over the top. And the managers? I always thought they were like a long term couple and not just hook-up buddies. And I never thought one would be a super fan... I think it is kinda boring and cringe to be honest.

4. Memoir of Rati 🇹🇭 (1/12)

It is just the first episode, so I have no clue if I like it or not. But I know for sure that the music is slightly getting on my nerves and every time this one song starts to play, I am reminded of Pearl Harbor... I don't like it when the music shouts at me: this is an important emotional moment! Feel it! Less telling, more feeling please. But Inn and Great look so pretty!

5. Perfect 10 Liners 🇹🇭 (8/24)

Yeah, I am still here. I don't know, this is not that catchy for me. Perhaps I find some time to finally move on to the next couple, but my weekends were stacked with social events and I didn't have the time...

6. Revenged Love 🇨🇳 (10/24)

The story stays a little bit confusing for me. Or let me say, the dynamic between the characters I don't get. Perhaps it is because of the subtitles. But I enjoy this series so much! What I hate? The people who always want more! We got a really nice kiss this week. it was aesthetically pleasing in my opinion. And yet people want more, more, more. They forget in how much danger these actors put themselves and everyone who is working with this series. We can be so lucky to have this series on our platforms to watch and not put down by the government. And we get the sexual tension. We get the kisses. Why do people always want more?

7. Sweetheart Service 🇰🇷 (10/12)

Hm. I guess I only watch it, because I want to support Strongberry and because the episodes are really short. The acting still is meh and the story is not good. And what is wrong with Su Yeon? I didn't like her from the beginning, but now she is only annoying. Really wish we get some progress next week. But in the end I don't know if this would make a difference.

Finished in July

Series

Boys in Love 🇹🇭

This was such a cute little show about coming of age and to find your way in life. At least for the first few steps. It is a highschool bl with a little bit drama, but I guess it is relatable. Deciding what to do with the rest of your life. Deciding what comes first, love or your work future. And what happens when dreams don't come true. What to do when plans don't work out and you have to find a plan B. I really enjoyed the communication and the mothers were great in this last episode. If you like My School President, than you might like this one as well. For me this is a solid 8 out of 10.

Movies

Short Films

Dropped in July

The Next Prince 🇹🇭 (9/14)

Style without substance. At this point it just feels like a waste of time for me. The series looks beautiful, but the plot is so stretched out and so many things could have been dealt with in one episode. The characters are beautiful, but feel lifeless, like really beautiful puppets without a soul and a life. Sorry. I just don't feel it.

Looking forward to in July

Kita-kun ga Kawai Sugite Te ni Amaru no de, 3 Nin de Share Suru Koto ni Shimashita 🇯🇵 (July 1st)

Asada Minami, a nurse, Hiruma Toko, and Nishino Yu, a bookstore employee, all fall in love with Kita-kun, also known as Manaka Kita, who has a mysterious charm that captivates everyone regardless of age or gender. In order to avoid increasing their love rivals, they form the "33% Club" to share Kita-kun's love in three equal parts. It is a love comedy about three people living together with Kita-kun.

Ameagari no Bokura ni Tsuite 🇯🇵 (July 3rd)

Kanade Shinichiro, a working adult living in Tokyo, has decided to hide his homosexuality and never fall in love again due to bitter memories from his school days. One day, he reunites with his high school best friend, Mashiro Kosuke, who he once had a "special" crush on. After meeting for the first time in six years, the two face their pasts and begin to move forward while reexamining themselves. A heartwarming boys' love story about two people who sometimes hurt each other but also clumsily love each other.

40 Made ni Shitai 10 no Koto 🇯🇵 (July 5th)

Tojo Suzume, who has been single for over 10 years and spends his days just going back and forth between his office and home, realizes that there are only three months left until his 40th birthday. Suzume makes a list of "10 things I want to do before I'm 40" due to the sudden sense of impatience he feels at the turning point of his life. "Takoyaki party," "Change your taste in clothes," "Find a lover..." However, the list is accidentally seen by Tanaka Keiji, a handsome junior subordinate! However, at Keiji's suggestion, the two decide to fulfill the list together. Their mundane days change into fun days spent together. And they become "special people" that transcend the relationship of boss and subordinate and the age difference. This is a fascinating story about the slowly closing distance between the two and the love story of an adult who falls in love for the first time in a long time!

My Idol - Trailer 🇰🇷 (July 8th)

U Sang is devastated by the death of his father—and now, even the school track team is about to be disbanded. While everyone urges him to face reality, only Jae Min quietly steps closer to stand by his side.

Desire - Trailer 🇨🇳 (July 12th)

On the edge of death, Sheng Shao You meets someone who seems like his exact type: a delicate white lotus kind of beauty, the kind you'd want to pluck, keep in a vase, and admire forever. But turns out, this boy isn’t just a harmless little lily. He’s a ghost orchid, rare and unpredictable, with charm that’s deadly, elegant, and darker than expected. When obsession meets something untamable, who’s really going to end up devoured?

Dating Game - Trailer 🇹🇭 (July 14th)

Hill, a former bullied boy with a geeky personality, finds love and confidence from "Yuka" in the female character romance simulation game "Yuka! Love Me Please" and grows into a handsome programmer beyond recognition. Hill achieves his dream of getting a job at the company that developed "Yuka! Love Me Please", where he meets Junji, the perfect, cold-hearted CEO from Japan. Soon after getting the job, the company announces that it will be ending service for the game, leaving Hill dejected. Seeing his passion to move forward despite his heartache, Junji approaches Hill with a proposition.

Only You - Teaser 🇹🇭 (July 18th)

A bodyguard's assignment to protect a former schoolmate—now a famous performer—deepens as unexpected feelings ignite between them.

Secret Lover - Teaser 🇹🇼 (July 22nd)

Han Tuo and Lu Jun Xi, lifelong rivals competing for the same girl, escalate their games into intimate challenges. Despite their determination to win, bold moves and unexpected passion blur the lines of rivalry; their games lead to intense and confusing emotions between the two. A heated battle of pride, desire, and unexpected attraction unfolds.

My Magic Prophecy - Trailer 🇹🇭 (July 27th)

Dr. Thap, who doesn't believe in horoscopes or destiny, is forced into a position where he has to flee for his life with the help of fortune-teller In.

[astonmartingf]

YOU'VE BEEN ON MY MIND—

— co-parenting with alonso has been smooth sailing, until he starts dropping hints that he wants to be with you again

P9 ★ SEE YOU IN MY FUTURE

amgf probably 2k words? almost 3k? idk but it's hurt/comfort! i did cry, and yes so... i'm emotional because it's ending but also... it's ENDING 😀🫵 DKXJSKDJZJ one more chapter yay!!! shout out to day6, what would this chapter be without your songs... enjoy 👍

previous ★ masterlist ★ next

You weren't sure what to expect— despite your severe reaction the past week, you're now mellowed down and calm, you think back on your conversation with Seb a few months ago before his retirement.

You definitely have not moved on, and the mention of the upcoming season definitely felt like a band-aid ripped off a bleeding wound. And all the pain and resentment you felt was now revealed beneath the familial memories you built with Ales and Fernando.

Driving up to his gate, you're instantly filled with the comfort of his private home. The place you spent most of your time outside work, and even more than your own house, with Ales and Fernando. You rub away the headache slowly building in your head, getting out of your car and meeting Fernando who greeted you out of his home.

"Are you feeling better?"

You wince away, as you take a seat on the chair opposite of him. It would be much easier if he resented you the way you did. That you'd rather he treat you unfairly in the last few years, but he's Fernando. He's the father of your son, and the man you tenderly love, even to this day.

Which only hurts more, knowing you can never fully let go of the past, despite both growing since your separation but seeing him with Ales sparked the burning hope in you. Maybe this would be the time for you and Fernando, that this might be the future you've been longing for all along.

"I'm sorry, how I reacted last week... I thought I was okay with it, but I guess I still feel the same way." You rub your arms, looking elsewhere but Fernando's eyes, knowing well he's staring right through you. You were scared and vulnerable, all throughout the years you noticed your apprehension in communicating your feelings for the sake of your relationship. And it wasn't going well for you, or for Fernando, but this time it'd be different.

"And before you say anything, I just want to say that I'm proud of you. I'm glad you still race, and for the upcoming season. I understand if you think it's too selfish of me not to come, but Ales will, I just think I'm not ready for it yet."

You gulp down your nerves, raising your head, staring head on at Alonso who is still smiling. It breaks your heart, seeing him like this— if only he'd get up and say something about how unfair it is to him.

"I understand it. You don't have to worry, I won't force you." Silence.

The room was met with silence, until you hear the sniffles coming from Fernando, leaving you frozen in your seat. As much as you hate being vulnerable in front of him, you never thought he'd cry in front of you first.

You hear his laughter, seconds after as he wipes the tears falling from him eyes.

"Please, don't worry this is not your fault... I guess you could say I'm overwhelmed. I only ever thought about this moment, I kept thinking about when we can have this talk, but you were so focused on Ales. Rightfully so, he's our son and our priority, so even though I wanted to fix what has been broken before, maybe it wasn't the time. And when we talked last night, I kept blaming myself for rushing you, because it was my fault.

And now, you're telling me yourself, I'm happy you're here. I'm happy that you told me yourself, and every day I will prove myself to be better, not just as Ales' father but as someone who is worthy to be with you. I'm sorry if I'm being emotional, I just didn't think I would come close to this again. And with you, if you resent me, I won't blame you. I resent myself every day, after you left me, and this... this is more than enough for me right now."

It wasn't long before the tears began to fall from your eyes, you only ever thought of your pain. Choosing to leave with Ales, away from Fernando— away from the years you've been together. Away from the only man you ever loved.

Your only concern was licking the wounds of what was left from Fernando, what you didn't think was how he felt all those years.

"I'm sorry... How lonely it must've felt for you all those years. Away from Ales— I promise you, this time it will be different. One day, we will be together— I know it, because I don't think I'd have it any other way than you. I love you Fernando! I still do, even after all these years—"

Closing you eyes, your hands instinctively wrap around Fernando's neck wanting him closer, pulling him from more. Hands grabbing his face, feeling the tears fall down your fingers. Wiping them away, you kiss him once more before pulling each other in a tight hug.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to kiss you without—"

"Shhh..." You hush Fernando's worries, resting your head on his shoulder, hands trailing over his back, resting them on top of his thick hair.

"I'm happy we had this conversation as well. Thank you Fernando. Thank you for still seeing me in your future. I had so many worries, and questions— all this time, I was just a coward. A selfish coward you decided for the both of us."

Fernando shakes his head, tutting his lips, "I won't let you day those things to yourself you hear me? You are brave and courageous, understand? And I love you, even though I feel undeserving of your feeling, I will work hard to be the man who deserves it. What happened, I don't blame you. But we'll figure these things out as the time goes by, don't be a stranger?"

With blurry eyes, you remove your head from Fernando's shoulders nodding your head. "I think I need to rest for a bit, can I take a nap here for a bit?"

"You want me to pick up Ales from Lance's while you sleep?"

The mention of your son immediately brought the sparkle in your eyes, which wasn't missed by Fernando who only smiled as he tucked you in his bed. "You can rest for a while, and when you wake up, we will be here. Sleep well Amor."

You feel your eyes getting heavier as Fernando's voice begins to thin out, you feel him leave a small kiss on your forehead causing you to smile before dosing off to your sleep.

yourusername

liked by lancestroll, sebastianvettel, and 41 others

yourusername may the spark in your eye, and the fire in your heart burns brighter, lighting a flame to your path wherever you go.

★ YOU'VE BEEN ON MY MIND — @namgification @nebarious @minkyungseokie @viennakarma @lxclerc @booksandflowrs @c-losur3 @lichterfee @moonyzsworld @e-nonsense @vicurious28 @dannyriccsupremacy @thearchieves @welovediaaxx @vogueprincess @mael1pastry @khaylin27 @whydowesleepeachnight @iridescent-sol @celemilii @lozzamez3 @callsignwidow @hrts4scarr

[digiflora]

SUMMER LOVIN' ◟⊹ 𖧧. ָ࣪ ◝. EPISODE⁰⁰

Ꮺ prev. masterlist. next. Ꮺ࣭۪

INTRODUCING THE ISLANDERS ...

"HI i'm y/n, i'm 21 and from teyvat. i'm a student, so yay summer break!"

"i'm here for what i hope is a good time. i've had a couple boyfriends before, in fact i broke up with my last one just a few months ago, so i'm really just looking to get out there again and what's a better way than to be here with all the hottest guys in teyvat?"

"hey, i'm ganyu!! i work as a secretary and i'm 21, i live in liyue!!"

"i've never really had a boyfriend before haha, but maybe i'll find one here! my friends say that i'm a workaholic, and i feel like if i were to have a boyfriend he'll have to be able to handle the fact that i have a busy work life, or maybe just have one of his own."

"i'm not really the type to go out much, i definitely prefer a night in haha."

"my type? i like sweet guys, sort of a classic romantic type of guy who will make me feel special and understands my needs. that's all."

"yo, i'm hu tao, my friends call me tao! i'm from liyue, i'm 19, and i'm a funeral director. didn't expect that one did you? you ever had someone on the show with that job before? yeaahhhh, thought not."

"one thing about me is i love a good prank. i've always kind of been a trouble child, ever since primary school. nothing too crazy, just enough to keep people on their toes."

"i like people that are funny, can match my vibe. i don't like boring people. we're here to have fun, aren't we!?"

"one ick i have? to begin with, people who call them icks. and uhh... i also hate when guys make it a point to say how strong they are by comparing my own strength?? like yes, you can curl my bench, i'd hope so or otherwise we'd both be weak as shit."

"hey, i'm rosaria, i'm from mondstadt. i'm 26, and... well i've had a lot of jobs over the years. it's a bit of a funny story, actually, i used to be a nun. clearly that was meant to last 'cos i'm on this show now. right now, i work as a bartender. it's quite fun, getting to know the regulars. i can do most of their orders off the top of my head now."

"one of my icks in a guy? i don't think this really counts, but you won't believe the amount of guys i've met who are just... can't get over the fact that i used to be a nun. it's not that serious, like? i get it, but this isn't a porno."

"my type? good question. i don't know. but the last guy i was talking to had a bunch of tattoos and this really hot beard so, maybe that."

"so... i just talk into this mic? okay."

"hello.. everyone! i'm jean, i'm 26, and i'm an office worker. nothing too glamorous, haha. oh yeah, and i'm from mondstadt"

"my type in a guy is someone who's a bit more mature, you know? i'm not a teenager any more, i don't have the patience to date around with idiots anymore!" (chuckles)

"growing up, my dad and my brothers always made sure to treat me really well so that when i'm older i'll know how a guy should treat me. i guess you could say that my standards are pretty high, yeah"

"ooh, an ick? if a guy wants to go 50/50 with me. if you're broke, just say that"

gia's notes ㌐ ₀₀ the banners r kinda ugly o well. graphic design is my passion 🤓 also i left the y/n bio kinda blank so it's not too specific :)

[cinnabells]

BITTERSWEET TRADEGY || N.R

episode two. adventures in seoul.

" dating a kpop idol was not on my 2024 bingo card "

OR

In which leilani choi is dragged to a fan sign and nishimura riki finds the love of his life.

When Kiyoko and Bella got an email stating that they had won an entry to an in-person Enhypen fan sign event, they screamed at the top of their lungs. Leilani also got an entry, but she wasn't as excited as her friends. To be fair, she didn't think they'd get the chance to win when they entered the raffle for the event a month ago; they were drunk off their asses; it was an impressive display; a lot of people joined and, most likely, bought more albums, but they got the chance to go, but lucky for them, the event was held in Seoul; they didn't have to drive too far.

Bella and Kiyoko have been fans of Enhypen since their I-land days; Leilani, on the other hand, recently got into the group, so she was a little nervous. When they entered the raffle, she didn't know too much about the seven-boy group but joined in to support her friends, and now seeing the email, this was real, and it made her a little guilty. Sure, this was a great opportunity for her friends, but she was a new fan, and she won the chance over people who had supported them since debut. 

"This is like the first time I'm going to anything for Enhypen. Do you know how lucky we are to get these tickets? I don't even remember signing up and buying anything. But like, yay!"Bella was walking in circles around her living room in excitement. The other two girls sat on the couch; Kiyoko smiled as she held her MacBook in her lap, adoring how Bella was so happy she couldn't help but walk around, too excited to sit in one place, and Leilani with her legs spread on top of Kiyoko's like the raven-haired girl was her personal footrest.

"Yeah, we can tell how excited you are, but stop pacing and breathe." Leilani looked up from her phone, Kiyoko humming in agreement.

The curly-haired girl shook her head, continuing to walk around the room. 

"This is real, and you won't be alone, so come sit before you make holes in the floor." Kiyoko patted the armchair a few inches away from her. 

"Everything will be fine; you got it. Now seriously, it's down; you're making me nauseous." Leilani grabbed the girl's hand, stopping her from her cycle around the couch. 

Bella glared at the girl but decided to sit down anyway to appease the older.

"When is this thing anyway?" As much as Leilani loved a good excuse to leave the house, she also had those days where she planned to do anything, and she wouldn't let some boy group ruin her day off from society.

Kiyoko checked the email. "Next Saturday. No school, so you can't give an excuse." 

The freckled girl hummed in response; Saturday was good. She had the day off from work and no assignments to worry her head about; she would have a short stream in the morning and vlog on the way there. 

Bella nodded. "Wait! Can we match? We never go out; this would be the perfect time for us to color coordinate. Please, it's going to be cold since it's in the afternoon, but that shouldn't be an issue; it's the perfect time to showcase our stylish trio." The curly-haired girl practically begged her two friends. 

The girls shared a look. Bella was right; they never really go out or match; their styles were somewhat different, but they also wanted to make the girl happy. They couldn't ruin her special day, and it's not like they could make something work, so ultimately they agreed. 

Realizing they had little to nothing in their closets, the girls went shopping. Truthfully, they could find clothes that they never wore, but what's the point of going through shelves and drawers for something they bought and threw to the side when they can just buy something entirely new? 

The trio went shopping at the mall, and just their luck, they found some cute pieces they could make into great outfits. They only went into about four stores and were out within two hours, a new record if you asked them. 

Fast forward, It was the day of the event, dressed in their best outfits, the girls left Bella's house and made their way through the city of Seoul to the KSPO Dome, Kiyoko had been there before, she used to practice as a gymnast when she first moved to Korea but eventually gave up on it as it was taking a toll on her body, although she still goes there from time to time an vists her old friends when olympic season comes around, the drive was a about thirty minutes so while Kiyoko drove, they  sung along to the music from Leilani's Spotify playlist which consisted of American white girls, some R&B and a few Kpop songs, although Leilani was more focused on her fashion designs for her college assignment then singing along, it was the weekend, and it was due the next night so naturally she shouldn't finished it by now but as she says she works best under pressure. It's not like the girl had meant to put the work off for so long; she just simply forgot and remembered as soon as they went out to enjoy the day off. The arena coming into view, the girls groaned at how long the line was; they would be there for hours. They quickly found a parking spot and got out of the car, heading towards their destination. 

The girls were now standing in line, waiting to enter the building. Bella and Kiyoko's nerves were all over the place, but surprisingly Leilani was calm; she was a little excited, but looking behind her, she could see other people who were also in the line; some looked nervous while others had the biggest grins on their faces; she was definitely standing out. It was cold in Seoul, and although she was dressed up nicely for the semi winter weather, she desperately wanted the doors to open so she could feel warm and stop freezing her butt off. 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the line moves as the staff starts letting people in; the girls all take deep breaths as they make their way inside the venue. Inside, it was nice and toasty. Leilani could feel her heart getting less cold by the minute; the girls went through security and bag checks, Bella and Leilani getting weird looks from guards; one of them even went as far as checking Leilani's bag again. She wanted to say something, tell him there was no reason to because her bag was practically empty, but she kept her mouth closed, not wanting to start something and ruin her friend's day. 

Leilani made her way to the seat after the blonde girl moved; as her time was up, the chair was one of those foldable lawn chairs people use for cookouts—not comfortable at all, but what was she supposed to do? Sim Jaeyun sat in front of her; she smiled at him, opening her mouth. Jake looked at her starstruck, cutting her greeting off.

"You're Leilani; I watch your streams and videos on Twitch. You are funny, and you don't even try, and your cosplays are amazing. I know that you think that you don't suit some, but you rock all of them. I started playing one of those Mihoyo games because of you, although I don't have a lot of time because of work. It's a really good game to play when we have days off, and I want to be alone." Jake rambled on; the freckled girl was shocked. She knew some people out in the world watched her and found comfort in her videos, but Jake wanted just anybody; he was a celebrity, and Leilani was just a normal college student, although she found comfort in knowing that even someone like him enjoyed the content she put out.

Although it was a small conversation, it felt like Leilani was the star and Jake was a fan. How the tables have turned! But the conversation focus did turn to him; at some point, they talked about his hobbies and how his life had been impacted since I-land. They talked about his relationships in the groups as well as other idols, but if we're being honest, the fluffy-haired boy spent the whole time fangirling about BTS and Ateez. 

She moved on after the timer was up; she thought it was dumb, a timer? Timing people's conversation is such a stupid move; what if the conversation wasn't over? What if the other party had more to add? This was a form of speed dating, and Leilani wasn't a fan. Jungwon was next; Leilani went on telling him how much she adored him, how he was one of the first members that caught her eye in i-land, and how she appreciated all his hard work as a leader. Taking on such a big role at such a young age must be stressful; the latter talked about how he destresses by playing games, and thus the topic of Genshin Impact arose, and Leilani was more than happy to talk about her favorite game. 

Then it was Jay, the boy who complimented her outfit and asked her if she was fashionable because of how detailed the pieces of her clothing were and that they delved into a conversation about her hobbies and her assignment that she's been putting off and only started today. Finally, after speaking to a third of the members, you then made it to the tall emo boy called Ni-ki. Leilani didn't know much about Enhypen as she was getting into the group, but Nishimura Riki was known as the boy who was better than her 'because I would've kicked everyone's ass' when she watched I-land.

Nishimura Riki thought a lot of people he came across were pretty, but the girl in front of him was absolutely gorgeous, her brown skin that complemented the freckles that scattered across her cheeks and light brown eyes that looked hazel under the overhead spotlight; she smelled like strawberries; warm strawberries were Ni-ki's favorite; he wondered if she liked her fruit like that too. her bohemian braids that had a perfect shade of brown with blonde streaks, the little butterfly jewelry that hung on some strands, and how they sat perfectly in a high ponytail with four single braids in front and some in the back. Niki had crushes before, but this was different.

"Hi." Even her voice was beautiful, a Korean accent with perfect English; the boy wondered if she was American. Maybe they could talk about their favorite places, but if she was American, then she would be leaving at some point; maybe she was here on vacation? He had heard about some students taking a gap semester and traveling, or maybe she was an exchange student, here for the school year? Niki wanted to know everything about her, calling her an overly fixated crush, but the young boy was intrigued, and she only said a word. 

Opening his mouth to speak, he stumbled over his words, "H-Hi, I'm Nishimura R-, I'm Ni-ki." 

Leilani laughed a little; his stutters were cute, but she didn't want to make it seem like she was laughing at him; she quickly apologized, introducing herself. 

Leilani and Ni-ki eventually started talking about musicals, and Leilani might have talked about how she answered her friends, who were theater students, Ni-ki then asked about school and any performances they've done; Ni-ki learned that she went to SNU and she lived in Korea. The boy talked about how he wished he could go back to school and joked about how he could live vicariously through her when she went to what she called her eight hours of hell. 

After that, it was Sunoo, The honey blond girl expressed how much she enjoyed his many vlogs and his vocals; the blonde boy complimented her on her outfit and makeup. Eventually, they got to talking about skincare products, and the girl with the boho braids noticed, out of the corner of her eye, a certain siren-eyed boy staring at her, but alas, when she looked back, his eyes were averted. The conversation with the blonde-haired boy ran a little long, which most likely annoyed the people behind her; she was thankful the staff let them finish up. 

Talking with the last two members was like a breeze. Sunghoon was proactive with his English, so he would often try to answer or ask a question in the language. Leilani found it cute when he got frustrated about a word, but the girl was quick to help him through his endeavors. With Heeseung, it was smooth sailing. They started to talk about shows and movies, to which the girl gave some American recommendations, but somehow the conversation went towards home decor, but Leilani wasn't complaining; she enjoyed talking about how she decorated her room and her friends rooms. 

prev | masterlist | next

authors note: Hii!! Im lee and welcome to the second chapter, how did you guys like it? Whats your impressions on everyone so far?? I hope you guys can stay for the ride and thank you for stopping by.

divders by @dollywons and @anitalenia.

ׂׂૢ TAGLIST: @rikidaze @roarr-ki @momoch1s @kirakun @planetmarlowe @nessas-archive @irikhrts

(comment or dm to be added!!)

[bleumanouchesims]

1894-Midsummer (CW: Childbirth)

This second pregnancy was harder on Rosalie. According to the Gadje doctor in Gloucester, Rosalie's body was still recovering from her Scarlet fever. He was a kind enough man, but Rosalie had a cultural fear of all gadje medicine and especially parno gadjo doctors. When asked if she had anyone nearby, particularly a woman, she instantly answered her best friend Alma Reed.

The Reeds had been their first neighbors and friends. Their twins were even a few years older than Abeille and she and Alma often brought them over to play together.

The women were a great comfort together while their husbands were on the more often than not month long trip of a swordfisherman. As Rosalie's belly grewlarger for the second time, she knew who she wanted to accompany her birth should Toulouse not be there.

"Of course, Rosie. At the very least I will watch Abeille! But I will try my best to be there when your baby comes."

***

Then one June night, she felt a pain that at one time frightened her but now she knew meant that another little soul wanted to come into this world. Since it was still early and the pains constant but not frequent, she went down to the Reed home.

"I'm sorry, Rosalie. But the twins they are sick. I don't wish to harm you or your baby so soon after the last time." Alma looked upon her friend's understanding face. "There is a nurse midwife that is staying her before moving on to Gloucester. I know it is not the best for you and you sensitivities but you cannot have this baby on your own and I know it won't wait for another two weeks until Toulouse is back. JJust return home, and I'll make sure all will be well.

Several hours later and there was a knock at the door. Rosalie rose from the bed and carefully descended the stairs.

"Hello are you Mrs. Pelletier?" The strange old woman asked in her harsh Bostonian accent.

"Oui, J'apelle Pelletier." She set a kettle on to boil and laid out fresh clean towels. Rosalie did not like this gadji's rough hands touching her intimate parts, but endured it. Alma had taken Abeille to the Miller's so that there would be no distraction.

***

A day went by and still no baby. Another morning, and still no baby. Rosalie thought she was going to die. Die right here in America with no Toulouse and no baro, only this wretched mean Gadji who ignored her. Then by dusk on the third day, finally...she barely heard the cry of her second daughter. Afterwards Rosalie fainted and would not wake.

She was alive, but barely. This second baby had taken all she had. Everyday Alma was there or sometimes it was Anne Miller, not that Rosalie responded to either of them except for weak whispered yeses and nos. Sometimes Rosalie swore she could see her own mother, and cried out for her like she was a child.

Two weeks later, the instant she could hear the voice of her husband and the joy in it it was like a miracle from Devla. Her strength nearly instantly returned to her. This second daughter they decided to name Fleur.

Previous / Next

I'm glad to go back to what has become the only save I can keep constant. Yay, both Rosalie and the new baby survived their rolls! I think it will be a while before I let them try again. It really did take nearly three in-game days for baby Fleur to be born!

So how I have my game set up for this decades save is 1 in-game week = 1 year. How I determine months for that year was a sort of challenge but this is what I came up with:

Sunday = January

Monday Morning = February Afternoon = March

Tuesday Morning = April Afternoon = May

Wednesday Morning = June Afternoon = July

Thursday Morning = August Afternoon = September

Friday Morning = October Afternoon = November

Saturday = December

The exceptions to this are holidays. For example, in my game Christmas is a winter Wednesday. So it becomes December 25 in my game instead of June/July.

This is only for things like births and deaths.

Next chapter, I'm going to have to age up Toulouse because he'd now be 30.

[ravenstargames]

✦ Lost in Limbo Devlog #11 | 05.08.24

AHA! Nope, we didn't forget about April's devlog. In fact, we have been busier than ever—doing early preparations for our Kickstarter, working on the demo, sorting out legal stuff...

Speaking of which...

This month we have been really busy making our studio official by the law! Now, to pay taxes and cry! YAY!

We are very very excited about it—and also terrified! We are still sorting out the studio's bank account, as burocracy isn't the fastest thing in this world, sadly. This is the first thing I wanted to talk about in this devlog, because it's such fantastic news for us! :')

Now, let's jump on the process we've made this past month, shall we? ✨

This past month, Raquel worked very hard on our second Key Art. This was originally made for Steam, but I modified the format a bit so it could also be used in other places! I honestly love this one—we have our first Key Art to represent the darker aspects of the game, and then this one to show off the characters' dynamics! Not everything's going to be horror and mystery in the game!✨💜

Also, we have been working on designing the merch for the Kickstarter, but we can't show anything yet. All we can say is that everything is looking gorgeous and we are so excited to share it eventually!

Thanks to Airyn, we've made great progress with the backgrounds! In fact, there's only one left to finish. The one you see above needs a few final touches (that will be made by yours truly!), and then I'll animate it a bit to get it ready for the build! The rest of the backgrounds are finished, animated, and integrated in the build :3

The survey icon is missing, but it'll be there!

Well, this should tell you everything you need to know when it comes to programming! The whole demo is programmed. Functional. Nothing crashes. Stuff works and I'm over cloud nine. I have been working on the final touches (revisiting scenes, checking sprites, music / sfx volume...) and the beta testing phase will begin soon. Soon as in tomorrow.

We've mainly used this month to review the auditions we received for our casting call, contacting the selected VAs, etc. Every VA has accepted their role, received the document with the lines we'll need for the demo, and we'll work hard to announce the cast publicly as soon as possible! We want to at least do a promotional short video showcasing every LI and their VA!

Sadly, making the studio official has (and will) take more time than we anticipated, and as we want to release the demo on Steam, the review process will most likely slow us down. There's the option of doing an itchio release and then a Steam one, but I'm not sure if that'll hurt the project. We are still keeping the demo release date a secret, until things settle down!

Also, I couldn't finish this devlog without talking about the Magic & Mystery Otome cross-promotion! ✨ We were invited by the amazing folks at Best Laid Plans Studios to participate in this event that showcases 12 amazing visual novels like Alaris, Obscura, Dual Chroma and more! I know I have been pretty annoying with this (can you blame me, though?!) so I won't keep rambling about it—just check everyone out, please!

I think that's all! Well, that's not all, but we gotta keep a bit of mystery surrounding the demo! We have been busy bees this month, with the making of the studio, the polishing of the demo, contacting and coordinating the VAs...

We are so excited for the demo release. I'm personally excited and terrified, but blame it on the OCD. I keep jumping from catastrophic scenario to catastrophic scenario. I'll have no control over what happens when the demo goes live, but I have control on what I can do before that happens—and that's working as hard as I've been doing this whole time.

And that's it! Please take care, enjoy the week, and stay hydrated. The Raventar team, NOW AN OFFICIAL STUDIO, wishes you all the best and sends a huge hug your way! 💜

[hyog-blog]

Fangs of Fortune (ep. 18 - ep. 20)

I've just noticed the truly abnormal amount of crying all the characters do in this show (like, it's so pretty I'm not complaining, but poor actor babies, I can't imagine the amount of work and emotional turmoil that went into acting all this out for us to enjoy). God bless them pretty people who cry so beautifully - this is truly an art form!

As Zhuo Yichen wisely mentioned in ep.20 "the sea of suffering is endless" - I think it's an actual motto of this show. Like, how many characters can you make suffer in the course of one episode? Quick answer - many, and then some more.

First and foremost - we lost Li Lun! I didn't expect he'd go so early in the series (checks episode count), well, okay, not too early, but I kind of expected him to torment Zhu Yan till the very end. He was such a poor and bitter meow-meow I can't even hate him despite whatever wrongs he has done. Deeply hurt, wounded, lost, and 'betrayed' by his probably only friend. Never even tried to understand his point of view, just went on hurting and hating and plotting his revenge to hurt Zhu Yan the same way he hurt him, and probably even more.

Whatever happened to them was fate (well, at least at this point in the series), but then he chose to follow the path of pain and suffering. Judging by how toxic his revenge has gotten in the end, he must have really loved Zhu Yan. And the irony of Li Lun joining forces with the very people who caught and tortured demons back then, when he and Zhu Yan parted ways. I mean it was kind of narrow-minded of Li Lun to just ditch his only friend so fast. And condemning the whole of humanity just because a few people are bad apples, well, is the same as condemning all demons because some of them are violent. But still, there are those who aren't. What an epic saga of grief and misunderstanding D:

At this point, Zhu Yan must be the saddest Great Demon in the history of Great Demons. I mean come on, how many more deaths and sufferings can he take? (nope, don't answer that, there are still 14 episodes left, I'm sure the show will surprise me more than once XD). I mean, when speaking about being unfortunate, he has had it the worst in the series (he was just 'lucky' to survive long enough to get some happy days and encounters mixed in there as well). But with a countdown of 1 month hanging over his head, I have a feeling things won't be all sunshine and roses for him (again, and again, and again, ah).

"You don't have a heart, but aren't you living in agony, too?" Spot on, Yichen-baby, spot on. I think Zhu Yan's heart might just be bigger than most human's.

Also, how come Zhuo Yichen has gotten even prettier? I love his new look with hair tied up in a bun, official robes and all. He has also matured. The way he was talking about Zhao Yuanzhou merely being the blade of that malicious force and that he shouldn't be punished for what it did through him - my thoughts exactly! The screenwriters conveyed this message so well and I'm happy that the characters also realize this inside the show (still, I have a bad feeling about how things will end for him).

Bai Jiu being a 'traitor' was a fresh take! Cool plot twist. But this is how this Chongwu camp operates - finds people's soft spots and uses either threats or bribes to make them do bad stuff for them. Luckily, no one got hurt (well, uh, not yet). And Pei Sijing has been working with Zhu Yan all this time, yay))) I never wanted to believe that she was an actual traitor, the girl is too cool (and they have a cute thing going on with Wen Xiao, hehe).

Also, I've noticed how in the course of the last few episodes both Zhu Yan and Zhuo Yichen acknowledged each other's, how should I put it, awesomeness? Zhu Yan calling the other guy a dignified gentleman with a righteous heart, unbreakable will, and a character as strong as gold, and Zhuo Yichen admitting that Zhu Yan was a compassionate and righteous demon and that he didn't want to kill him any longer :3 A little bit of honey to balance out the bitterness, ah.

[groenendaelfic]

Hey,

haven't seen you around a lot lately. Just writing to check in. how is it going? Wish you a nice evening

it is going, thank you for asking!

Life has been very busy these past few months but is moving in a hopefully good and definitely exciting direction.

In this particular order (if memory serves correctly) I've:

decided to move halfway across the continent

marked the one year anniversary of the worst time of my life

had other people mark the one year anniversary of the worst time of my life with all that entails

quit my job (I'd been planning that for a while)

had my boss and hr offer to let me go instead and half my notice period to two months (aka 'give' me more money and facilitate my move, yay pity)

started looking for a place to live and organizing my move

found a new job in a slightly different corner of halfway across the continent (I start July 1st)

got my request for citizenship approved (epic timing guys)

found a place to live in an awesome area (I will be able to do all my errands on foot and my new job is only a short bike ride away)

told everyone I was leaving for sure

signed the paperwork to have my uncle in law take over the place here

had my cousin offer to move my stuff with his remodeled fire engine in exchange for gas and (bridge) tolls

did all the paperwork in the universe ever

started saying my goodbyes for now (I still have lots of family and friends etc here so I'll be back a lot)

had my cousin tell me he'd make a bro trip out of the move because his friends really wanted to see a basic bridge, and room and board plus no girls was all the compensation they needed for getting to carry my boxes

said thanks but no thanks to citizenship (sorry Wille, you'll always be my King)

was asked if I minded the move taking a bit longer because the guys wanted to stop for totally unplanned soccer (a not insignificant part of their motivation if not a deciding factor I dare say)

did more move and job leaving planning and paperwork

welcomed, fed and watered a bunch of guys really into soccer bridges and very disappointed I didn't have more boxes they could compete carrying

prepared a big lunch basket and said goodbye to said guys and my boxes

sat down to write this list wondering where I should celebrate midsummer (aka do I want to travel back and forth to get everything ready or stay until it's time to hand in my work laptop etc)

Phew, yes. Also a million other things which won't come to mind right now. Thank you to everyone who left me such kind messages btw. I appreciate them so much but am still learning to respond to kindness and compliments without awkwardness. They nevertheless give me life.

In more interesting news to everyone here I've also done a lot of writing.

Mostly on One Wild Summer, which has already grown into a monster, but I've been writing the exciting parts later on and still guesstimate a 15k or so stretch which needs bridging to get to all the fun stuff I've already written.

but also on The Prince and the Barista and As Long as We Have Each Other. I only need to make it coherent and once again fill the gap to where I stopped posting.

plus *cue exasperated sighs* I'm also 9k+ into a new fic! The (once more) absolutely most self-indulgent thing I've ever written in this fandom and something I swore I never would turn into a proper fic. Expect the prologue for that (which was meant to be 500 words and not 5k) soonish.

Everything else including regular updates not before mid to late July though I think. Because moving and starting a new job and life means busy times and while I can write scribble down connected sentences with half a mind, I can't beta read and edit with half a mind.

tl;dr: I am still writing yr fic and haven't abandoned my fics, but am also busy moving. goodbye cloudberries and lingonberries, hello wineberries vineyards and appleberries apple orchards.

[majorproblems77]

Hey everyone!

So as you may or may not know I'm a university student in final year. This means i am on my way to finals, which means i am stepping back from tumblr for the next month or so while i focus down on getting ready for these. And doing them in June.

I won't lie, im stressed as hell. I feel so charged with adrenaline already and my mind is spinning and rushing around at the speed of light, trying to get my stuff together. *Yay for living another day without having a mental breakdown* The self-doubt has kicked in big time haha, but I've gotta buckle down.

I've got a semblance of a Queue which will post a few times a week while I'm gone. Mostly self-care stuff because if I'm not here to do it my spirit will keep y'all motivated.

I'll try to respond to things every week or so. But I can't promise consistency. If you really need to get a hold of me, my asks are open. (And DM's, but if you send something I am uncomfortable with, it's an auto block - If you ain't sure, put it in an ask)

Please continue to tag me in stuff, and I'll get to them when I can. And I'll probably keep tabs on a few guys here, so you know people know I'm not dead.

I love you all (/pl). Please remember to take care of yourself, rest, hydrate, and do all that self-care stuff. Or I will find a way to get more than 24 hours in a day to make sure you get some rest :)

I'll be back soon for blorbo times and more whumping - I MEAN BEING NICE to - blorbo shenanigans

Link to my intro post if you need it <3

See you on the interwebs

Major <3

[hyunfilms]

blue side of the sky (lmh) | eight.

♡ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: waking up after 3 months with no recollection of your past, your friends do what they can to help you remember. except, they omit an important piece to the puzzle - afraid you would remember the heartbreak and hurt all over again.

—pairing: lee know x f. reader

—genre: (18+) exes to lovers, bestfriends to lovers au | fluff, angst, (eventual) smut

—word count: 5.5k

—chapter warnings: cussing/mature language, mentions of alcohol consumption (not by oc), very platonic slow-dancing with jisung, we hear jisung's feelings about the accident 🥺, a bit more descriptive details of the accident, more minho x oc interactions yay!!, flashback - kisses/probably err on the side of making out lol

"Shit, I need to be at Yeong-Su's in the next five minutes or else my parents are gonna kill me." Jisung huffs as he struggles to get his tie done. You put your eyelash curler down to help him because you can't watch him struggle any longer. You step in front of him and take over, neatly securing his tie around his neck before looking up at him with a small smile. "Thank you." He lets out a breath of relief before looking at himself in the mirror once more. 

"You're welcome. You should go."

"You're gonna be okay?"

"I will."

"What are you trying to say?" Chan yells from their room, making the two of you laugh.

"You look beautiful, cielo."

"Thanks. You don't look too bad yourself, pachi." He smiles.

"See you guys down there." He calls out before rushing out of the room to meet the groom and the groomsmen. You finish curling your lashes, adding some light falsies to spruce up your look. You didn't add much makeup since you were going for a more natural look, but you were satisfied with how it turned out in the end.

You weren't entirely sure in the beginning, you hadn't done this in a very long time. It feels nice.

When you finally give your hair one last fix and spray a bit of perfume, you step into Chan and Seungmin's room, seeing them fix their suits a few times while looking in the mirror. Chan's eyes dart from the mirror to you, then back to the mirror before he's doing a double take.

"Wow, you look amazing Y/N." He turns to look at you. "And you were saying you weren't sure about the dress?"

"I just haven't dressed up like this in awhile, you know?" You shrug. "San said it was nice." Your hands brush down the fabric of the dress while Seungmin and Chan chuckle.

"San was right." Chan nods. "Though, I hope he knows we won't make it easy for him to weasel his way into your heart." Chan focuses on tightening his tie once more.

"Seriously, Y/N. You look stunning." Seungmin adds. "Ready to go?"

"Mhm. Ready when you two are."

"Alright, let me just throw on my watch and I'll be good." Chan says, snatching his Rolex off of the nightstand and securing it around his wrist. The three of you head straight towards the garden area, your eyes light up at all the wedding decorations. The venue was decorated beautifully with its sage, taupe and champagne flowers and tones.

You're pulled out of your daze when you hear a familiar voice greeting Seungmin and Chan, Chan glancing over at you once you've met the eyes of said familiar voice.

"Y/N, hey." Minho says, slowly eyeing you up and down. "W-wow, you look amazing." You look at him with a small smile as you also peep his outfit— a  crisp button up with a black tie, sleeves rolled up mid-way with nicely pleated grey slacks. It's simple, but it works well for him. His long, brown hair slightly drapes over his eyes, a silver watch sitting prettily on his wrist.

"Hey Minho. Thanks, you don't look too bad yourself." You chuckle just as Chan gently tugs at the gift bag in your hand.

"I'll go place this down at the gift table for you, alright? Gotta put my gift down too." You give him a small nod before returning your attention to Seungmin and Minho. They're chatting amongst themselves, and you find yourself shuffling closer to Seungmin as the crowd grows.

"You okay?" Minho suddenly asks. "Did you take your medicine?" Seungmin subtly bites onto his bottom lip while he watches your eyes shift upwards at Minho. Suddenly, Minho feels a little embarrassed for outwardly showing his worry for you. He knows this isn't the time, he knows he needs to step back. "Sorry, I—"

"It's okay." You give him a reassuring nod. "I did this morning. I appreciate the reminder, though." Minho simply nods in acknowledgement before Seungmin butts in.

"We should find our seats." He says, watching the rest of the guests settle into their seats. Seungmin's hand settles on the small of your back, gently pressing you towards the way to your seats. At this point, Chan re-joins the group and follows along, greeting some of Jisung's family members on the way over. Seungmin takes the seat near the aisle, followed by you, Chan and Minho. Just as Chan settles into the seat, Minho meets your eyes and his facial expression softens. The corner of his lips tug upwards into a tiny smile that you almost miss, and he doesn't necessarily peel his eyes off of you even as the pianist starts to play the entrance song.

You feel that look settle in the pit of your stomach.

"Oh shit, it's starting already." Chan harshly whispers over to you and Seungmin. The three of you stand as the pianist plays the song loudly, the bridesmaids accompanied by the groomsmen. Jisung walks down the aisle with a smug smirk on his face that makes Chan, Minho and Seungmin quietly laugh to themselves. Shortly following behind is another couple, then another— until the entire group passes and lines up at the altar. Once they've settled in their positions alongside of Yeong-Su, Yuna begins to make her way down the aisle looking beautiful as ever in her wedding dress.

You watch the way Yuna and Yeong-Su look at each other so lovingly in the eyes as they go through their vows, the tears still flowing down their cheeks— causing everyone in attendance to break into their own tears and sniffles. You wonder what it's like to be completely enamored by someone, to love someone so deeply and with everything in you; 

What is love?

Were you ever in love at some point? True, genuine love? 

Your eyes wander to the ocean just behind the venue, before they fall onto Minho again. But, when you turn, you find that he's looking at you already and his expression is unreadable. He is always unreadable, but it's the feeling you get that confuses you the most.

"Kiss!" Seungmin yells just as the crowd begins to yell along, making you chuckle. Minho is no longer looking at you, and he's snapped himself back to current times— back to reality.

God.

The wedding passes quickly, with the reception following shortly behind. It's a short distance of a walk, the huge tent with champagne-colored drapes right around the corner of the hotel. The view of the sunset and ocean is clearer in this area, with the breeze a bit stronger [though it hits the drapes and decorations beautifully]. 

"Cielo." Jisung comes from behind, causing you to turn over your shoulder to look at him. "Are you still doing okay?"

"Mhm." You nod. "I was just about to to grab a drink."

"I can do it—"

"It's fine, pachi. I got it." You give him a toothless smile as you step forward to the self-serve area for the drinks; all the fruit-flavored, non-alcoholic drinks lined up in cute beverage dispensers with gold detailing. You help yourself to some of the strawberry mango concoction that's almost gone, waiting for every drip to fall into your cup.

"I'm nervous." Jisung whines a bit, watching as you wait for your cup to fill.

"Why are you nervous? You're going to be fine, Ji."

"I haven't sang in front of my family in such a long time."

"And I'm sure you'll do great. They'll love you. Besides, you'll have Seungmin with you." You finally bring your cup up to your lips while you turn to Jisung.

"You don't think my singing voice is icky, right?"

"Jisung, please." You chuckle and shake your head. "Your voice is lovely. Your family will love it." You give his arm a gentle squeeze. "Promise." He lets out a deep breath before he nods.

"You're right." He walks alongside of you as you walk back to the table, Chan helping himself to the salad and bread that was just served. The three of you engage in small talk over some food, while Minho decides to sip on his drink near the open bar area. He watches the way you laugh and smile, his gut wishing he was the reason why—

"Please tell me you're just taking way too long to decide which drink you'll go for after you finish that." Seungmin comes to his side, making Minho damn near choke on the cocktail he's sipping.

"Excuse you."

"Creep." Seungmin gives him a look and Minho glares at him.

"I was just people-watching."

"Like that makes it any better."

"Would you mind your own business, Kim Seungmin? Don't you have a song to sing soon?"

"Soon, not right now." Seungmin sips on his cocktail before digging his other hand into his pocket. "So, staring at Y/N?"

"I wasn't staring at her." Minho looks at him, but all Seungmin does is cock a brow up. "I mean I was, but like, I was just making sure she was okay.. from a distance. It wasn't too long ago when I brought her to urgent care."

"Was that hard?"

"What?"

"To say that you care."

"She's still my bestfriend at the end of the day." Minho blurts out the first excuse that comes to mind even though he has no right to play that card.

"Alright then." Seungmin shrugs, half-understanding why Minho was acting the way he was, half-not-understanding why he couldn't just say what was on his mind. "Whatever you say, my guy. I'm gonna head back to our friends." He heads for the table with Minho following shortly after.

The remainder of the program goes by beautifully, with Jisung, the rest of the bridesmaids and groomsmen giving their thoughtful and sweet speeches. You've cried once or twice, especially when Yuna shares a dance with her father, and Yeong-Su gives his own speech to everyone before catering to his now-wife. There are special surprise performances from family, one being Jisung and Seungmin's performance— singing to Alto Moon's 'Mars.'

As soon as the dance portion of the night begins, Chan whisks you away to the dance floor, twirling you around before the both of you start to dance along to the song. Shortly, Seungmin joins along after he's found his way towards you two, then Jisung, Yuna and Yeong-Su. Minho joins the circle, laughing and enjoying himself across from you. Nonetheless, it's a good time and you find yourself having tons of fun with Jisung's family and your friends. You almost don't want the weekend to come to an end because you'll be looking to relive the entire thing all over again.

It's the first time you've felt alive in awhile.

"Hey." Jisung slips into the empty seat next to Seungmin while you two sit down for a break. "Please, help. I need a break from them." He points at his family. "They're killing me with the pictures." He tries to duck by Seungmin's figure to avoid people calling him over.

"Sucks to be you." You laugh at Seungmin's remark. "Jisung is over here!" Seungmin calls out, making Jisung punch him on the bicep.

"You asshole." He moves away from his seat to keep dodging his family, putting his hand out for you to grab when the songs begin to slow down. "Perfect timing! Let's go dance, cielo." Jisung brings you out onto the floor for a slow dance. You wrap your arms around his neck and he holds you around the waist, the both of you swaying to the slow beat of the song.

"Are you having a good time? Feeling okay?"

"I am. Thank you for bringing me along."

"Of course, I knew you'd enjoy it." He chuckles a bit.

"No, really. Thank you." You pull back to look at him. "You know, for always looking out for me and being there for me? For being patient? I know it might not be easy after everything that's happened. Or, I might not be the easiest to take care of, but you make life a lot smoother."

"Cielo, you're my bestfriend. I'll do anything for you." He lets out a breath. "When the accident happened, I was scared." Even if he won't get into too many details right now, it's the first time Jisung is really speaking up about the accident. "I couldn't help but blame myself because I felt like I could've done better. I spent nights trying to figure out where I could have prevented this from happening, where I lacked in keeping you safe. Why I didn't do certain things—"

"Jisung, that wasn't your fault."

"Still." He looks at you. "Maybe I should've prevented you from leaving that night. I should have made you stay knowing the storm was at its peak." You can't even remember the night of the accident, but your uncle had briefly mentioned leaving Jisung's. Why you were there, you weren't sure. Why you left, you aren't sure. But you hopped in an Uber, the driver losing control of the car when a drunk driver in the opposite lane swerved— causing the car to flip when you were only 5 minutes away from home.

It makes you sick to even think about it. That's one thing you don't want ever to relive, or have memories of.

"There are things you can't protect me from, pachi." You say softly while looking up at him. "Just as me with you."

"I just should've done better, Y/N. I could have." He clears his throat. "You were almost taken away from me. I'll never let another opportunity slip past me again." He looks at you as if it's the last time he's looking at you. But before the moment carries on, he pulls you in, hugging you tightly and warmly. He keeps you close, because that's what he feels like he needs to do from this moment on.

"I'm here, pachi." You softly say as you part from him. All he can do is look at you and nod, giving you some space as the next song begins to play. 

"I know." At this point, Jisung's mom comes from behind him and sweetly asks for a dance from her son. You hand him off, smiling at them right before you turn on your heel to head to the bathroom. Luckily, it isn't too far into the hotel. You can't wait to relieve yourself and freshen up a bit, giving yourself a bit of a break before heading back out to be surrounded by people and loud music.

Once you feel like you've given yourself a good enough breather, you leave the bathroom and turn the corner—

"Woah." Minho says, his hands immediately coming to your elbows. "Oh jeez, I'm so sorry Y/N." He says when he realizes it's you he almost ran into. 

"You're alright." You chuckle. "I shouldn't have turned the corner so quickly." He puts on a small smile.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just needed a little bathroom break and a quick breather." You look past his shoulder to get a glimpse of the party. "Is Jisung still with his mom?" He shakes his head.

"No, but his auntie."

"Of course. I saw you and Chan with the aunties earlier."

"Gotta save them a dance or two, you know?" You giggle.

"How sweet." Pause. Silence. Minho observes every inch of your face, body— the scar on your cheek from the accident, and the one near your hairline. You're beautiful, and he doesn't even care if he's staring.

All that liquid courage, especially.

"You really do look amazing tonight."

"Thank you, Minho." You fiddle with your fingers. "I should let you get back to.. you know.." He lets out a small breathy laugh just as you see Jisung hurrying into your point of view.

"Please. Help." You read Jisung's lips and furrow your brows, causing Minho to turn over his shoulder and look at him.

"He always needs saving." Minho rolls his eyes, making you laugh at his statement.

"Are you gonna head back to the table after?" He nods.

"Yeah. But for now, I think you should get to Jisungie before he cries."

"Right. I'll see you later." You chuckle as you walk past him and meet Jisung, who is hiding from his aunties [again] even in plain sight. 

Minho is left alone to ponder on his thoughts, and he can't stand this.

Actually, he can't stand himself. Cause god, he was preparing to accept the worst. To lose you, to not have you around. To have something taken away from him so suddenly.

Then, that wasn't the case. But that's not the issue at all, no. He's happy and he can't stop thanking the higher power for giving you another chance at life. He doesn't know what he'd do without you, you were always important to him. Always will be.

Still, you are what he loves the most.

But he can't stand himself because he's here, acting like everything is fine. He was heartbroken when you didn't remember who he was, had no recollection of the memories you two shared— he fell deeper in this dark hole with Kat even though he didn't intend to. She just filled this void that he had, and it's fucked up of him to lean on the girl that messed up everything you two had in the first place. He couldn't help himself. But, what breaks his heart the most now is that you don't know, and you may or may not ever know. He couldn't dare to see you crying or hurt. Even though Minho really wants to be honest, he really wants to tell you.

You two have so much to talk about.

He looks at you as you hit the dance floor with the group and he's just not sure when or how to do this— how to even act around you because you're the girl he's always loved. You're the girl he imagined spending his entire life with. But you're also the same girl he hurt so, so deeply.

He's the one who brought you all this love, along with all this hurt, and he'll never forgive himself for it. 

He wishes it wasn't so difficult because when he looks at you, he wishes he could love you time and time again— like the world was due to end any minute now.

That's way too selfish of him, though. He's already been selfish once, and he won't dare to be that selfish again. He'll try not to.

Not if it hurts you.

Jisung joins Yeong-su and the groomsmen for a little after party at a nearby bar, while Chan and Seungmin busy themselves with rounds of Mario Party in the room. You decide that you want to walk and experience more of the ocean, listening to the waves crash against the sand under the cool weather.

"I'm going to walk around the hotel."

"Wait, do you want one of us to come?" Chan's eyes are fixated on the screen in front of him as he furiously presses the button on the controller.

"No, it's okay. I just wanted to take a quick walk and sit by the water for a minute. I'll come back." You stand at their doorway and give them a small smile.

"You su— ah, fuck off dude!" Seungmin yells. "Are you sure, Y/N?" He repeats to finish off his previous thought.

"More than sure." You give them one last wave before heading out the door. After the wedding, you quickly took a shower and threw on some cotton shorts, a baby tee and a loose zip-up to protect you from the colder breeze at this time of night. You zip it up halfway, tugging on the zipper as you step into the elevator and head down to the first floor. It's still pretty lively, with guests at the restaurant and bar. Just as you send a text to your uncle to let him know you're okay, you do a double-take when you catch a familiar face sitting in the same exact dining area where you and Seungmin sat yesterday.

You don't say much, but you're quick to find out that you don't need to. As if his instinct told him to turn right at the moment, he does. He catches your eyes as he's about to take another sip, a subtle smile forming at the corner of his lips when you shyly wave. He sets the glass down and lets the waiter know he's finished, acknowledging him once more before making his way over to you. He smiles a bit, but you can tell he's nervous [partially tipsy, too].

"I didn't think I'd run into you out here." Minho says, making you chuckle as he continues to walk alongside of you.

"I wanted to walk around and sit by the water for a bit."

"Not tired?" You shrug.

"I am, but I wanted to get a better view of the ocean before leaving." You look up at him. "I could ask you the same."

"I figured I'd explore around too."

"See." You giggle.

"What's Chan and Seungmin doing?"

"Playing Mario Party." He chuckles.

"Of course." It's silent for a bit before the two of you head down the steps and finally hit the sand. "They didn't wanna join?"

"I mean they asked, but I told them they didn't need to. Don't wanna interrupt their session."

"They'll live." You laugh a bit and nod.

"It's alright." Minho catches you take in a deep breath before exhaling, biting onto your bottom lip as you slowly take steps forward, closing in to the water. It falls silent between you two, but it's a comfortable silence. You take in the view, while Minho observes you.

Calm. 

Beautiful.

So—

"So pretty." His head tilts to the side because yes, you are.

"Yeah, it is."

"I think I want to draw or paint this when I get back home." You quickly snap a photo.

"You should." You look at him and give him another small, toothless smile before sitting on the sand. Minho stands for a bit before he finally sits next to you— legs propped up while his hands rest on his knees. "How's all of that going?"

"I don't know. Better? Finally feeling some kind of inspiration to get back into art." You smile out towards the water. "I haven't done much yet. But either way, it's refreshing."

"That's good. How are the pottery classes?"

"Fun." You shrug. "Keeps me busy." You tuck your knees to your chest and look at him again. "I think I wanna work at the florist shop near Sunday Morning." 

"Really? That'll be fun, too." Minho chuckles a bit. "You sure you're ready?" You nod.

"Yeah, think so. I feel ready. San said I should go for it, too." Minho's smile slowly fades. Of course he did. 

"How's that?" He forces himself to ask, though he's afraid of the answer. Selfishly so. Here he goes, already failing with being selfish.

"Which? San?" You ask him, genuinely confused about the question.

"Mhm."

"He's becoming a good friend. We hang out, we talk." 

"As long as he's good to you, Y/N." He's not even sure what direction that statement is going, but whatever it is— he truthfully and wholeheartedly means it. If San is what will make you happy, then he will let you be happy.

That's the most important.

"It's good company, that's all." Your arm brushes against his, but you don't react much about it. "Enough about me though, what about you?"

"I'm a boring person."

"Clearly not if we're bestfriends." You chuckle a bit.

"All I do is exist, Y/N. Truthfully. I just work, dance, cook." Minho laughs at how pathetic he's making himself sound right now, but it's true. It's all he does.

"Well, what about Kat?" He shivers a bit. It's weird how her name used to be like venom. Now, it's.. nothing?

"Kat?" He repeats and looks at you. You nod at him so innocently and it hits him how much the accident has changed you. Of course, not your fault. But it goes to show how difficult it's been having to adjust. "We— she— that's not really a thing anymore, I guess?"

"So, you two were dating officially?"

"No. Never. We casually saw each other but that's all." He swallows the lump in his throat.

"I'm sorry, Minho."

"No need." He chuckles. "We were never going to be serious. I just finally learned how to walk away from it. The hard way."

"I hope you really are okay." You rest your chin against your knees. 

"I am. Don't worry about me." It falls silent for a moment before you call for him.

"Minho?"

"Yeah?"

"This is nice. I.. haven't been able to talk to you much, so it's nice to hear your voice more." He smiles before his head drops and he shakes his head.

"I know, I'm sorry. I just get occupied, and I always try to keep myself busy. Plus, I wanted to give you your space for a bit."

"I understand." You sigh. "This must be weird for you."

"No." He shakes his head. "It's not weird or anything. Don't ever think that."

"You feel distant."

"I'm not gonna lie, it's difficult because a lot has changed." He looks at you before tearing his eyes away. "I'm terrible at coping, and I'm terrible at dealing with big changes. All my own personal struggles, that's all."

"I get that."

"But I am sorry you feel that way. I know I should've done better, especially as your bestfriend. I haven't acted like it."

"It's okay, Minho. You don't have to apologize."

"I do. You deserve that from me." He looks at you again and his eyes soften. How he wishes he could pull you close, hold you, reassure you through a kiss on the forehead. 

He feels his heart sink to the pit of his stomach, so he shifts and focuses on the water, listens to the waves crashing against the sand.

Maybe one day, he'll be able to look at you for longer.

"I wish you didn't leave so quickly after you brought me home from the clinic."

"I wanted you to get your rest."

"Jisungie was there. I was looking for you. I wish you stayed." This is what makes it difficult. You looked for him. He feels like it's been forever since that happened.

"I'm sorry." He replies softly. "I'll make it up to you, okay?"

"You can by staying and not hurrying away next time." You feel your heart thumping in your chest, and you're not sure why you feel so shy, so nervous around Minho right now. The root feeling you get with him is unfamiliar, strange— falls into the category of known unknowns. But, one thing is for sure: you crave Minho's company.

"I can do that." You nod before letting out a small yawn into your elbow. "Maybe we should head back so you can sleep?"

"Yeah, I think the exhaustion is finally hitting me." You giggle, watching as Minho stands and dusts himself off. He puts out a hand, letting you grab onto his to help pull you up to do the same. "At least I got to enjoy the ocean." You turn to him as you start to walk back into the hotel. "Thanks for spontaneously joining me."

"Of course."

"Are you on the fourth floor too?" He shakes his head.

"I booked my room a little last minute so I'm on the seventh." He digs his hands into his pockets. "Is Jisungie back?"

"No. He probably won't be back until later."

"Hm." He hums as he presses the elevator button.

"I think we're getting breakfast tomorrow right? Us 5?"

"Mhm. If Jisung is alive." You laugh and step inside.

"True. He'll be a mess later."

"Do you wanna sleep in my room?" You raise a brow at him and he instantly retracts. "Oh no, no— sorry, I meant like, you can sleep in my bed— fuck." He groans. before gathering his thoughts again. "We can switch. So you don't have to deal with him later." You laugh.

"It's alright. If I need help, I'll call you. How about that?"

"Fair enough."

"I'm sure he'll be okay." The elevator dings when it his the fourth floor. "Thanks again for the company. I'll see you tomorrow morning?"

"Yeah." You smile. 

"Goodnight, Minho."

"Goodnight." His eyes are glued onto you even as you turn on your heel and walk down the hallway, the elevator doors closing in front of him.

Now, he feels empty.

He's left with another piece of his heart broken, left with the unbearing sadness and anxiety he feels every time you walk away from him.

How do you continue to love someone who doesn't remember you the way you remember them— who doesn't love you the way you love them?

☁︎ FLASHBACK | A NIGHT DURING FRESHMAN YR IN COLLEGE

"Ouch, fuck!" You whine as you almost slip on the dirt, making your way up the stupid fucking hill behind campus. "If I break my ankle or fall, this will be all your fault Lee Minho."

"You're fine! We're almost there, princess." He laughs loudly as he watches you struggle climbing up the somewhat steep hill. Minho holds his hand out for you to grab, giving you some leverage to tackle the dirt path. You squeal a bit when you feel him pull you upwards, letting out a laugh when you finally get your footing together on flat ground.

"All this for the tower." You dust yourself off and look up at the abandoned watch [fire?] tower nestled up in the hills behind campus. "So worth." You turn to look at the town's view ahead.

"Atta girl." Minho smiles and nods towards the tower. "Come, let's go up the stairs and sit up there." He swings the rusted, metal gate open to lead you to the stairs.

"We're not gonna get in trouble, right?"

"Baby, baby, baby." He says in a certain tone. "Are we really asking that question?"

"Well, I don't know!" Minho steps aside to let you climb up the steps first. "Campus security could see us from down there and catch an attitude about us being here at this time!"

"Then we'll just tell them we're not getting any younger. It's a must to explore what's outside of campus before we're thrusted in the real world." You snort as you reach the end, feet stepping onto the platform. It isn't an incredibly huge tower— quite frankly, it's tiny and you're not even sure why the dang thing existed in the first place. But, there's nothing eery to it at all. It's a nice spot to have these moments.

"A prophet. I am dating a prophet."

"Maybe." Minho laughs as he sits on the platform and takes a swig of his water. "Sit with me. Please?" Is all he says when he reaches for your hand and gently pulls you in between his legs. You sit contently, letting Minho lazily wrap his arm around your neck before planting a kiss on your temple.

"It's a perfect night." You look up at the dark, night sky, counting as stars in your immediate view. You feel your body into Minho's as he adjusts his position and holds you closer to him. "Thanks for taking me up here, love."

"Course." He gives you a small smile. "Just don't tell Ji or else he's gonna be pissed. He's been wanting to do the hike up here but I keep telling him I'm too lazy."

"Too lazy, huh?" You chuckle.

"Gotta make princess happy first and foremost." He boops the tip of your nose, making you slightly turn over your shoulder to meet his eyes.

"Hey, babe?"

"Hm?" He hums as he gently pushes the hair away from your face.

"What do you think life would be like for us in a couple of years?"

"Well." He lets out a breath as you lay back on him, the both of you watching the hustle and bustle of the town. "I'd be owning a café. You'll be teaching art, maybe opening your own little boutique for it. We'd probably live together, and I'll start stressing on how to propose to you as time continues to go on—"

"Woah, propose?" You smirk and playfully push him. "Is that so?"

"I thought we were looking at us in the future?"

"Cute. Do you think we're too young to think like that?" Minho shakes his head.

"Maybe." He presses a kiss to the top of your head. "But I'm sure of it. I think that counts for something." You let out a soft, breathy laugh.

"Yeah, you're right." You nod and lay back on him. "I like that. I like future us."

"Good." You scoff before laughing. Minho continues to stare at you, smile slowly fading when his eyes shift from yours, to your lips— back up to your eyes. "So pretty."

"It's nighttime." He shrugs as he leans in slowly.

"And? Can still see you perfectly." He mumbles just as his lips brush against yours— sending tingles down your spine. You subtly bite onto your bottom lip, closing in on the kiss. Minho holds the kiss for a moment before he inches back, coming in for another shortly after. This time, his tongue lightly glides across your bottom lip; his way of asking for permission to take the kiss a little deeper. 

And you let him.

You slightly turn to position yourself better, hand coming up his neck, jaw, cheek, just as he sucks onto your bottom lip and tugs it back. You let out a soft sigh, smiling into the kiss as Minho continues.

"Maybe—we should—" You kiss him. "Head back?" He nods, giving you one last peck on the lips. 

"Yeah." You prepare to stand and dust yourself off when Minho grabs your wrist. "Hey, babe?" You turn to look at him when he gets himself up. "I love you."

"I love you, too." You smile and kiss him on the tip of his nose.

☁︎ END

♡ taglist: @ppiri-bahng @jihanlovic @meloncremesoda @sweetlikecherry @hoes4lino @skzddicted @skzho @edgaralienpoe @harui-zen @bestleeknowstan @havenwithleeknow @septicrebel @heesdazed @borahae-reads @yoontaethings @pearbunny @bintificreads @lukeys-giggle @ajxreads @everglowdaisies @allaboutsan @endzii23 @leeknowsramen @heres-your-ramen2000 @morningstardada @mal-lunar-28 @downbadreading @lilysophie @feelikecinderella @urmomma0324 @ddazed-lhs @djeniryuu @melanctton @i8rsie @maru-matt @sleepyleeji @taerifin @nattisbored @jisunglyricist @m111nho @drhsthl @nixtape-foryou @arminseas @guiltycoco @syuuji @sulkygyu @cadihyo @reianagarcia @leeknowyah @smndjdufuehr