#but that won't be for a few more months for sure :'^) yay
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i am soooooo mad about waking up fr fr i wish i could put myself in a coma for a few days just so i don't have to go through today
#nothing too big is happening but my siblings are coming over with their kids aka the absolute worst sensory experience ever#and i don't have anywhere to go to avoid it other than lock my room with earphones on full blast laying in bed for like 5 hours straight#maybe more. bc even after they leave the house is so dirty and smells awful which is also unbearable#i neeeeeed to move out#but that won't be for a few more months for sure :'^) yay#godddddddd i love waking up and immediately wanting to kms this is great love that /s#vent#negative //#just whining. don't mind me. I'm doing as bad as usual. nothing special#I'll get to my unanswered asks later sorry to leave you guys hanging 🫡
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#man#it's so hard when a coworker I like announces they're leaving#because my stupid brain immediately goes into greiving mode#even if they aren't gone yet#and I know we won't really have or take the opportunity to hang out or talk#because 🌟pattern recognition🌟#I tried to reach out to a coworker who left a few months ago and she 100% blew me off#it happens every time#so I stop trying to reach out#and it fucking hurts#and it's another layer of bs that I'm not sure if my coworkers even like me#or if they're “nice” because they have to put up with me#and the funny thing is that I found out she's leaving this morning#and everyone else knew yesterday#because she posted in the group chat#but I don't get notifications regularly because ma app is broken#so I found out because my admin asked me to cover my coworker's leftover shifts after she leaves#which yay more hours but at the expense of her leaving#and I know she's happy moving on#and I'm happy for her don't get me wrong#it's just difficult for me because I don't handle change very well#which I know is somewhat selfish of me#but I'm not going to like make her stay or make her feel bad for leaving#this is just something I have to handle on my own#pixii speaks#vent
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finding out you sleep with a plushie
— nct dream ᡣ𐭩
cw : none! 100% fluff ^^
a/n : my tumblr debut yay! tried to make it as gender neutral as possible so i hope you enjoyyy
mark:
came home late from practice and found you sleeping on the couch with a winnie-the-pooh plushie tucked under your arms
first time seeing you sleep with the plushie despite knowing that you can't sleep without it
takes note of it for future occurrences
going on a flight? road trip? staying at your friends place? he will for sure remind you about the plush
when you forget the plushie at his place he will have it sitting on his bed against a pillow (sometimes 'reading' one of his books)
every time he sees winnie-the-pooh now he will take a quick pic of it to send to you
"yooooo why this lowkey looks like you"
doesn't forget to remind you that you're cuter tho
poor markie was so panicked when he couldn't find the plush after you texted him that you left it at his place
had a whole apology written down knowing how precious it was since its your childhood plushie
promised to buy you the exact same one and is basically crying now because he knows that it won't be able to replace the one you had
luckily he found it under his bed so we're all good!
renjun:
you were taking a nap on his bed when he saw you hugging a duck plushie
takes a quick pic for memories sake (and to tease you about it in the near future)
since then his little notes for you include a small duck doodle on it
"left early for practice 𓅭" "leftovers are in the fridge 𓅿" "goodluck for the interview today 𓅹"
when he's overseas for schedules he'll find something with ducks on it to give to you as a little souvenir
kisses both you and the duck when he sees you asleep after a long day (it calms him down)
would ask who's cuter, him or duckie?
you jokingly say duckie which causes him to nag to your plushie about stealing his partner
ducks are now his new favourite thing to draw (lyric sheets are his no. 1 victim)
when you couldn't find the plush he offers himself as something for you to cuddle with
resulted in him getting smacked and proceeding to help you find the duck
gets sulky after, saying that hes better at cuddling than the "piece of fluff"
you coo at his jealousy over a stuffed toy and cuddle the both of them
jeno:
he arrived at your place a little later than usual and sees you tucked in with a black bunny
he coos at how adorable the sight is and takes a picture to set as one of his many lockscreens of you
noticed that its the bunny he bought for you before he went on tour for tds2
"if you miss me just cuddle the bunny okay? he has black hair like me so it wouldnt be that much of a difference"
obviously cuddling a grown man and a 31cm plushie is different but what can you do when he's halfway across the globe?
also the type to kiss you and your bunny goodnight
caught him doing it one day and now try to stay awake long enough to catch him doing it again
you fail to do so since his schedules always end soooo late f u sm!!
would give your bunny a wash once every few months since the bunny is a representation of him and he takes personal hygiene very seriously! (his words, not yours)
the bunny would have a new ribbon tied to its ears, depending on what colour his hair is this time (always praying for the pink or white ribbon to come back one day)
gets jealous that you cuddle the bunny more than him
you'd get back at him saying that he's the one that bought the bunny
haechan:
could not shut up when he realised that the plushie you couldn't sleep without was a brown bear
teases you to no end because everyone knows the he is the og brown bear
he finds it too cute that you need a mini him to sleep
"awwwh, you're so in love with me that your plushie is basically me"
you tell him that its just a basic bear, theres no deeper meaning to it
you did buy it because it looks like him but he can't know that! the teases will be insufferable
doesn't care if it had another name before hand because it is now haechan jr.
if he sees the plush on the floor he'll pick it up and tuck it under your arms
the type to tell the little guy to take care of you in your sleep
you'd buy a mini version for him to bring around for schedules and tours
gives you updates about mini haechan jr. every second
practice room? recording studio? m/v shoot? fansign? filming 7llin? you will be getting updates!! not missing a single one
would post haechan jr. and mini haechan jr. on his instagram as a soft launch
it's a little too soft but its okay since you both want to keep it on the downlow anyways
jaemin:
found you sleeping one night with a pink bunny hidden under the blanket next to you
was cooing at how cute the sight was
also one to take pics because that's his partner!! why wouldn't he?
had to hold himself back from pinching your cheeks and opted to pat your head instead
will ask about it the next time he sees you and wont stop telling you how cute you are
you left it at his place once and suddenly theres a ribbon on your bunny's ears (i wonder who added it)
caught him having a full on conversation with your bunny a few times damn your bf is weird
basically treats the bunny like his child at this point
will remind you to bring your bunny when going on overnight trips with him
will not stop taking pictures of the bunny (he has a whole file for it on his phone btw)
"aigoooo look how adorable she is"
"awww both my babies look so cute I have to take a pic"
also one to send you pics of things with bunnies on it when on tour, buys it for you too sometimes
his cats loves bitting everything, including your bunny
makes sure that its as far away from luna, lucy, and luke after he caught them trying to bite on it
you're now 100x cuter in his eyes and he wont shut up about it
chenle:
slightly smiled to himself when saw you bring a dumbo plushie the first time you slept over at his face
he bought it so of course you'll be sleeping with it
why dumbo? because he has big ears and you're nosy as hell (his words btw)
you got sulky when you heard the reason and he corrected himself and said that it was because he was a yapper and you're the listener instead
starts calling you dumbo and the plushie dumbo jr. instead
would also ask to pick between him and the plushie
got so offended when you picked dumbo
"i am THE zhong chenle, who wouldn't choose me?"
would replace the plushie with himself after you sleep since he's petty like that, he wouldn't let a stuffed toy win over him
but would also put dumbo in between your arms if he wakes up first in the morning (it's to keep you company while he's cooking breakfast)
sends you pics of daegal and dumbo together like a proud dad
he's still chenle though so dont expect your plushie to get the same dad treatment as jaemin
the type to get you more dumbo related items since dumbo is the only plushie you sleep with
jisung:
his heart melted at the sight of you sleeping on the couch with a hamster plushie squished against your cheeks
if that man wasn't a simp for you already then he is now
needs a few seconds to just admire how cute you were for faling asleep while trying to wait for him to end his schedules
he's not one to bring it up directly, but that doesn't mean he won't tease you about it from time to time
probably annoys the members (read: chenle) about how adorable his partner is when cuddled up with a plush version of him
he's so down bad but you can't blame him for being in love
took him a few nights to realise that its the plushie he bought for you when you visited him during smtown live in tokyo
got so shy and couldn't contain his smile when he realised it
would ask you if you've given the hamster a name yet and when you said you haven't he suggested 'hamster'
you don't have the heart to tell him how corny it is so you agree to it
you both are down bad!!!!
if he sees the hamster on the floor he'll dust off any possible dust before tucking it under your arms again
takes a picture to make it last longer
you leave the plush at his place on accident once
send you a message saying that he can't believe you just forgot your son like that
takes a pic of him cuddling the hamster to show that he is being taken care of no ones focusing on the doll when his hands are right there
#nct dream#nct#nct dream x reader#nct x reader#nct x you#nct dream x you#nct dream imagines#nct imagines#nct dream scenarios#nct scenarios#nct dream reactions#nct reactions#nct dream fluff#nct fluff#nct dream headcanons#nct headcanons#park jisung x reader#jisung x reader#chenle x reader#jaemin x reader#haechan x reader#jeno x reader#renjun x reader#mark x reader#mark lee x reader
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If you're taking any scenario request. Maybe could I request funny/silly one where Leona and his S/O are married and live in the Royal Palace. Leona's S/O has gotten lost somehow in their own home and when found their response is "This place is too damn big I'm sorry!"
You have NO idea how much I love these types of fics! Wholesome crackheadedness at its finest✨ We love a spouse with 0 orientation skills. (I'd know, I get lost in supermarkets) This was ONE OF THE FUNNIEST THINGS I've EVER written. I hope you enjoy!
"What the actual fuck."
A turn here. A turn there.
Oh, would you look at that - the exact same vase you passed 5 minutes ago. But was that really the same vase? Or was it its evil twin, trying to further confuse you, only for you to get lost even more and die of starvation, eventually BECOMING ONE WITH THE PALACE...
God, whoever built this palace should have their head on a stake. Haha, that sounded a lot like the Red Queen of Hearts. Perhaps Riddle was rubbing off on you. You two did text occasionally since graduating from NRC.
Speaking of graduation, you married Leona. (yay!) And it's not like you weren't happy. Life was relatively peaceful. You two moved back to the palace. Arrangements had begun for you two to take over a certain part of Sunset Savannah, as something akin to a *Peerage. (They had their own name for it, you are currently far too annoyed to remember.) A lot of (semi-forced) communication set the road to reconciliation between the two brothers. (Admittedly a very long road. A road that puts Gulliver's travels to shame.) The Royal Family™️ accepted you with open hearts. (albeit a tad wary at first)
Really there was only one major problem.
The ROYAL PALACE IS LIKE A GODDAMN LABYRINTH. And that's rich, given your history of painting the white roses with Ace and Deuce in Heartsabyul's maze. So here you are, lost.
Scratch that.
Lost: again.
And all you wanted to do was find Cheka's room. You had a gift for the little cub.
"An architectural masterpiece, my ass. This is an architectural disaster. A disaster with a capital D. D for Vitamin D - what I won't be getting, because I'm trapped within these walls, where the SUN CAN'T REACH ME-"
Okay. Calm down. It's not that bad, sure there isn't a soul in sight, but you're bound to stumble upon somebody at some point, right? There had to be servants, or guards, or somebody! UNLESS! This is all an elaborate plan to get rid of you.
Aha! That must be it. The Royal Family wants you dead and they intend to make it seem like an accident! But Leona wouldn't allow that, right? He loves you! Dearly! You're his spouse, his one and only! Ah, cruel fate.
Is it just you...or are these walls moving in on each other. So this IS an assassination attempt! And you presented yourself on a silver platter. Good job, s/o. Splendid work. A royal for a few months and you're already about to be assassinated. Your name shall remain the book of "Dumbest ways to die." Goodbye cruel world-
"S/o."
Leona's voice rang through the empty hallway, "What are you doing out here."
Ah! And so tragedy was avoided once more!
"Leona, my LOVE! Thank God."
"Did you just- get lost in the palace... again?", his eyes read annoyance but his tone was teasing.
"It's not MY fault this place is so damn big, what do you need all this space for anyways? Indoor badminton? Hide and Seek or Die?"
"Definitely that last one. That's how we get rid of our enemies."
"AHA! I knew it! So this IS an assassination attempt!"
He simply rolled his eyes, pulling you towards him to wrap an arm around your waist and kiss you on the forehead.
"This isn't an assassination attempt. You did this yourself. It's called idiocy."
"You should build a better palace."
"What I should do is put a collar on you. With a tracking device on it. Like a pet."
"Oh, Leona~ Who knew you were into that~"
"Next time I'm leaving you here to rot."
"Then I'll haunt you to Hell and back."
He smirked, pinching your cheek as you were both making your way far from the cursed looping corridor.
"At least you won't be able to get lost."
"I told you, it's not my fault."
"Nah, of course not. The Palace is just cursed."
"EVIDENTLY."
You both knew this isn't the last time you'll be getting lost. And Leona was seriously considering the tracking device.
Perhaps he'd already ordered it too.
You were about to find out.
*Peerage - collective noun for titles like Duke, Duchess, Count, Earl etc. Comes from "Peers of the Realm" where one could hold one or more of these titles. It differs from monarchy to monarchy. THAT'S YOUR WORD FOR THE DAY FOLKS!
#twisted wonderland#twst imagines#twisted wonderland x mc#twst x reader#disney twst#twst wonderland#alice answers stuff#leona twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland leona#leona x reader#leona kingscholar#leona x yuu#leona x y/n#leona x you#leona x mc#leona kingscholar x reader#leona kingscholar x mc#leona kingscholar x yuu#crack fic#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland x yuu#leona twst#twst leona#twisted wonderland leona x reader
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Fic Idea
Post 8x05
Bobby's acting strangely—not overtly, but just enough that everyone is side-eyeing each other. Buck decides to hang back after his shift one morning and catches Bobby still in his office. He asks him what's up, and Bobby admits that even though Gerrard is gone, that doesn't mean the budget cuts also went away. The good news is that with union pushback, instead of firing someone, they've agreed to rotating month-long furloughs, effective Nov 1st.
Buck immediately volunteers for A shift. He'll do Nov and Dec. Bobby says he can't let Buck sacrifice that much of his paycheck. Buck tells him he's got enough stocked away for a couple of months and that he wants to do this. It might even be good for him.
The first month is really good. Tommy works 48/96, so they get four full days off together and it's amazing. They had a mini vacation in Palm Springs where they went stargazing, hung out by the pool, and spent a day in Joshua Tree.
Buck gets in a lot of reading and knocks down his sizable tbr. He fills in as a sitter for Jee-Yun and enjoys the hell out of spending time with his niece (never mind her deep disappoint on the days Tommy isn't there too). He also gives himself a full day of doing nothing but scrolling his phone. He jumps from one Wikipedia article to another and explores exceedingly niche substacks.
And he still gets 118 time. At least once a week he goes in and cooks a filling lunch for them. He does it at the 217 too, where they sing his praises. He even spent two days being a firefighter when Chim came down with a cold. All in all his month off was pretty amazing, and he figures December would be a piece of cake. He's so sure that he tells Bobby he'll take January too.
Except it stops being a piece of cake. Two days in and he's already restless. It doesn't help when Tommy, Chim, and Eddie show up and tell him how they worked together for a rooftop rescue at Nakatomi Tower. Buck doesn't know the building and asks where it's located. The guys are dumbfounded. "Like, Die Hard, man," Eddie tells him. "Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs?" Tommy says hopefully. "Die Hard...Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker?" Chimney prods. "Oh, yeah," Buck says, having it all click together.
After that his aimlessness really takes hold. He keeps himself busy by feeding the 217 breakfast, lunch, and dinner on the days Tommy works. On his second day, one of Tommy's crew tells him, "You know, you should start taking orders. Make some money since they won't let you fight fires.
Buck's surprised at how fast the idea takes hold. He spends all four of his days with Tommy talking about it. He feels like he's vibrating out of his skin, and he falls just a little more in love with Tommy when he tells Buck that his idea is not only good, but that he knows a guy who can help make it happen.
Buck next goes to his team and explains his idea. He's going to open a sandwich service. Nearby fire stations will send in orders the day before, the sandwiches will be made the next morning, and delivered throughout the afternoon. Tommy has a friend who will rent out commercial kitchen space to him, and the employees will be fellow furloughed firefighters. They wouldn't be making the same pay, but they would be making something instead of draining out their savings like Buck. Eddie's all in, but Hen and Chim are a little more hesitant. Whether they come around or not, that's okay. Buck plans on starting small and thinks he can do it with three or four people, and he has multiple firehouses to pull from. But he knows his biggest hurdle is coming up with the start-up cash.
He toys with the idea of asking his parents for a loan. They were willing to fork over money for Chim and Maddie's down payment, and they swear up and down they want to make amends, so if Buck needs to use guilt to get a cut, he will. Before he can work up the nerve to ask, Tommy hands him a card and calls it an early Christmas present. Inside is a check for 10k. Buck's floored and misty eyed. He asks how and why and are you sure? Tommy pulls him in and tells Buck that he's sure. That he believes in Buck and wants to do whatever he can to help him succeed. Including making sandwiches.
And that's it. That's all I've got. Purged from the system.
#tevan#bucktommy#kinley#buck x tommy#tommy kinard#evan buckley#bucktommy ficlet#ficlet#tevan ficlet#something dumb i needed to get out of my head#fanfic idea
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YOU'VE BEEN ON MY MIND—
— co-parenting with alonso has been smooth sailing, until he starts dropping hints that he wants to be with you again
P9 ★ SEE YOU IN MY FUTURE
amgf probably 2k words? almost 3k? idk but it's hurt/comfort! i did cry, and yes so... i'm emotional because it's ending but also... it's ENDING 😀🫵 DKXJSKDJZJ one more chapter yay!!! shout out to day6, what would this chapter be without your songs... enjoy 👍
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You weren't sure what to expect— despite your severe reaction the past week, you're now mellowed down and calm, you think back on your conversation with Seb a few months ago before his retirement.
You definitely have not moved on, and the mention of the upcoming season definitely felt like a band-aid ripped off a bleeding wound. And all the pain and resentment you felt was now revealed beneath the familial memories you built with Ales and Fernando.
Driving up to his gate, you're instantly filled with the comfort of his private home. The place you spent most of your time outside work, and even more than your own house, with Ales and Fernando. You rub away the headache slowly building in your head, getting out of your car and meeting Fernando who greeted you out of his home.
"Are you feeling better?"
You wince away, as you take a seat on the chair opposite of him. It would be much easier if he resented you the way you did. That you'd rather he treat you unfairly in the last few years, but he's Fernando. He's the father of your son, and the man you tenderly love, even to this day.
Which only hurts more, knowing you can never fully let go of the past, despite both growing since your separation but seeing him with Ales sparked the burning hope in you. Maybe this would be the time for you and Fernando, that this might be the future you've been longing for all along.
"I'm sorry, how I reacted last week... I thought I was okay with it, but I guess I still feel the same way." You rub your arms, looking elsewhere but Fernando's eyes, knowing well he's staring right through you. You were scared and vulnerable, all throughout the years you noticed your apprehension in communicating your feelings for the sake of your relationship. And it wasn't going well for you, or for Fernando, but this time it'd be different.
"And before you say anything, I just want to say that I'm proud of you. I'm glad you still race, and for the upcoming season. I understand if you think it's too selfish of me not to come, but Ales will, I just think I'm not ready for it yet."
You gulp down your nerves, raising your head, staring head on at Alonso who is still smiling. It breaks your heart, seeing him like this— if only he'd get up and say something about how unfair it is to him.
"I understand it. You don't have to worry, I won't force you." Silence.
The room was met with silence, until you hear the sniffles coming from Fernando, leaving you frozen in your seat. As much as you hate being vulnerable in front of him, you never thought he'd cry in front of you first.
You hear his laughter, seconds after as he wipes the tears falling from him eyes.
"Please, don't worry this is not your fault... I guess you could say I'm overwhelmed. I only ever thought about this moment, I kept thinking about when we can have this talk, but you were so focused on Ales. Rightfully so, he's our son and our priority, so even though I wanted to fix what has been broken before, maybe it wasn't the time. And when we talked last night, I kept blaming myself for rushing you, because it was my fault.
And now, you're telling me yourself, I'm happy you're here. I'm happy that you told me yourself, and every day I will prove myself to be better, not just as Ales' father but as someone who is worthy to be with you. I'm sorry if I'm being emotional, I just didn't think I would come close to this again. And with you, if you resent me, I won't blame you. I resent myself every day, after you left me, and this... this is more than enough for me right now."
It wasn't long before the tears began to fall from your eyes, you only ever thought of your pain. Choosing to leave with Ales, away from Fernando— away from the years you've been together. Away from the only man you ever loved.
Your only concern was licking the wounds of what was left from Fernando, what you didn't think was how he felt all those years.
"I'm sorry... How lonely it must've felt for you all those years. Away from Ales— I promise you, this time it will be different. One day, we will be together— I know it, because I don't think I'd have it any other way than you. I love you Fernando! I still do, even after all these years—"
Closing you eyes, your hands instinctively wrap around Fernando's neck wanting him closer, pulling him from more. Hands grabbing his face, feeling the tears fall down your fingers. Wiping them away, you kiss him once more before pulling each other in a tight hug.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to kiss you without—"
"Shhh..." You hush Fernando's worries, resting your head on his shoulder, hands trailing over his back, resting them on top of his thick hair.
"I'm happy we had this conversation as well. Thank you Fernando. Thank you for still seeing me in your future. I had so many worries, and questions— all this time, I was just a coward. A selfish coward you decided for the both of us."
Fernando shakes his head, tutting his lips, "I won't let you day those things to yourself you hear me? You are brave and courageous, understand? And I love you, even though I feel undeserving of your feeling, I will work hard to be the man who deserves it. What happened, I don't blame you. But we'll figure these things out as the time goes by, don't be a stranger?"
With blurry eyes, you remove your head from Fernando's shoulders nodding your head. "I think I need to rest for a bit, can I take a nap here for a bit?"
"You want me to pick up Ales from Lance's while you sleep?"
The mention of your son immediately brought the sparkle in your eyes, which wasn't missed by Fernando who only smiled as he tucked you in his bed. "You can rest for a while, and when you wake up, we will be here. Sleep well Amor."
You feel your eyes getting heavier as Fernando's voice begins to thin out, you feel him leave a small kiss on your forehead causing you to smile before dosing off to your sleep.
yourusername
liked by lancestroll, sebastianvettel, and 41 others
yourusername may the spark in your eye, and the fire in your heart burns brighter, lighting a flame to your path wherever you go.
★ YOU'VE BEEN ON MY MIND — @namgification @nebarious @minkyungseokie @viennakarma @lxclerc @booksandflowrs @c-losur3 @lichterfee @moonyzsworld @e-nonsense @vicurious28 @dannyriccsupremacy @thearchieves @welovediaaxx @vogueprincess @mael1pastry @khaylin27 @whydowesleepeachnight @iridescent-sol @celemilii @lozzamez3 @callsignwidow @hrts4scarr
#f1 smau#f1 fluff#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#fernando alonso smau#fernando alonso fluff#fernando alonso x reader#fernando alonso imagine
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youve probably answered this question before, but just how did you do it? im at about 120 now (but very short), i can only dream of reaching 200. Whats the secret (is there one?)
I don't think there is much of a secret, I can't tell you any new hack for gaining that you've never heard before. But I'll gladly share how I did it :)
I started at 120lbs too, which was a bit underweight on my 5'8" frame 😅 I didnt only gain for the kink, but because I felt genuinely unhappy in my body and I wanted to change it. Here's a rough outline of the pace of my gains:
Sept 2022: 120lbs
Jan 2023: 155lbs
June 2023: 180lbs (plateau until October)
Jan 2024: 200lbs (starting this blog shortly after turning 18)
September 2024: 220lbs (I havent stepped on a scale this month, but I know I hit 220 lol. also yay, 2 years of gaining 🥳)
From Sept 2022 to Jan 2023 was probably the most work I've put into gaining, since i had to rewire the metabolism that had kept me skinny all my life. I don't believe in tricks and hacks in fattening up (not that I could get much for myself, I was 16 and couldn't drive) so I did it the old fashioned way. I altered my meal schedule in this sort of way:
7am Breakfast
NEW 10am Brunch snacks (often a Peanut Butter Smoothie)
12pm Lunch snacks
NEW 3pm actual Lunch (usually followed by a food coma)
6pm Dinner
NEW 9pm 2nd Dinner
I probably wasn't hitting all of these meal times every day, but adding more opportunities for me to get my hands on food throughout the day meant i was almost always thinking of my next meal 😅
Besides just eating more often, another area I worked on was eating more at each meal. I would push myself to go back for seconds, or to pair more with whatever I ate at each meal. I adopted a "what could I add" mentality, where I would never eat one thing alone. My favorite example was for breakfast: before, I'd eat a breakfast sandwich, which is a respectable small meal at ~400 calories. When I was in my "gaining prime," I would add a second sandwich, and put tater tots in the air fryer, adding up to 1000+ calories for just a little more work.
While I know this won't be the glamorous answer many people hope for, it's good honest work with results hard to ignore. After you force yourself to overeat for long enough, it becomes impossible to go back to the small and infrequent meals of before — your own appetite is enough to keep up your gaining momentum 🤭
From Sept 2022 to Jan 2023 was when I was working my gut hard to adhere to the schedules, but I loosened up once I upsized my wardrobe a second time and could feel the softness creeping in. My gainer's appetite kept me cruizing until June, gaining an average of 6lbs a month (🥵) when I started work (at a Frozen Custard shop, no less) which kept me on my feet late at night and made me plateau.
It wasn't until October that I would start pushing myself again, on one Very Horny week where I had the house to myself. I binged every single day, including my first experience drinking melted ice cream (cut with Heavy Cream) 😵💫 which led into a plateau break as I gained 20lbs in 3 months once again.
2024, despite me making this blog, has been predominantly a cruising year. I started at 200lbs, bigger than I had ever expected to get when I first started, so I mainly just eat a lot when I want to, and don't when I don't. Now that I'm in college, both stress eating and a very loving boyfriend join the mix, so we'll wait and see what these next few years have in store for my waistline 😉
So, that's the long and short of it! If you're looking to gain, I think you have to push yourself, but make sure you're only doing so in ways you can enjoy. Routine is EVERYTHING, with the end goal that you shouldn't have to make conscious decisions to overeat; it should just be a fact of life 😌 I wouldn't personally recommend relying on drinks to fatten up from the very beginning, since those can be easy to get sick of, but they can be valuable tools for plateau breaking in combination with an otherwise gourmand mindset.
Thanks for the ask! And to anyone brave enough to make it through to the end, thank you for reading! I love telling my gainer story, because I like to put it into a more realistic framework than many of the hot and horny stories out there are able to do. As thanks, here's a belly pic just for you! Dont mind the bruises, we just had a little fun yesterday :3
#uhitsum#askuhitsum#asexual gainer#ace gainer#gaining fat#gaining weight on purpose#gay gainer#teen gainer#gaining kink#belly gainer#chubby boy#full belly#fat belly#fatty#getting bigger#gaining#cute belly#chub kink#chubby
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ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 prev. OG 5 GIRLS INTRO!
masterlist. next. ᯓ ᡣ𐭩
INTRODUCING THE ISLANDERS ...
"HI i'm y/n, i'm 21 and from teyvat. i'm a student, so yay summer break!"
"i'm here for what i hope is a good time. i've had a couple boyfriends before, in fact i broke up with my last one just a few months ago, so i'm really just looking to get out there again and what's a better way than to be here with all the hottest guys in teyvat?"
"hey, i'm ganyu!! i work as a secretary and i'm 21, i live in liyue!!"
"i've never really had a boyfriend before haha, but maybe i'll find one here! my friends say that i'm a workaholic, and i feel like if i were to have a boyfriend he'll have to be able to handle the fact that i have a busy work life, or maybe just have one of his own."
"i'm not really the type to go out much, i definitely prefer a night in haha."
"my type? i like sweet guys, sort of a classic romantic type of guy who will make me feel special and understands my needs. that's all."
"yo, i'm hu tao, my friends call me tao! i'm from liyue, i'm 19, and i'm a funeral director. didn't expect that one did you? you ever had someone on the show with that job before? yeaahhhh, thought not."
"one thing about me is i love a good prank. i've always kind of been a trouble child, ever since primary school. nothing too crazy, just enough to keep people on their toes."
"i like people that are funny, can match my vibe. i don't like boring people. we're here to have fun, aren't we!?"
"one ick i have? to begin with, people who call them icks. and uhh... i also hate when guys make it a point to say how strong they are by comparing my own strength?? like yes, you can curl my bench, i'd hope so or otherwise we'd both be weak as shit."
"hey, i'm rosaria, i'm from mondstadt. i'm 26, and... well i've had a lot of jobs over the years. it's a bit of a funny story, actually, i used to be a nun. clearly that was meant to last 'cos i'm on this show now. right now, i work as a bartender. it's quite fun, getting to know the regulars. i can do most of their orders off the top of my head now."
"one of my icks in a guy? i don't think this really counts, but you won't believe the amount of guys i've met who are just... can't get over the fact that i used to be a nun. it's not that serious, like? i get it, but this isn't a porno."
"my type? good question. i don't know. but the last guy i was talking to had a bunch of tattoos and this really hot beard so, maybe that."
"so... i just talk into this mic? okay."
"hello.. everyone! i'm jean, i'm 26, and i'm an office worker. nothing too glamorous, haha. oh yeah, and i'm from mondstadt"
"my type in a guy is someone who's a bit more mature, you know? i'm not a teenager any more, i don't have the patience to date around with idiots anymore!" (chuckles)
"growing up, my dad and my brothers always made sure to treat me really well so that when i'm older i'll know how a guy should treat me. i guess you could say that my standards are pretty high, yeah"
"ooh, an ick? if a guy wants to go 50/50 with me. if you're broke, just say that"
𝜗𝜚 gia's notes :: the banners r kinda ugly o well. graphic design is my passion 🤓 also i left the y/n bio kinda blank so it's not too specific :)
#୨୧ gia.txt :: summer lovin!#genshin impact smut#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#alhaitham x reader#alhaitham x reader smut#alhaitham fluff#alhaitham smut#thoma x reader#thoma smut#thoma series#wriothesley x reader#wriothesley genshin#wriothesley smut#wriothesley fluff#kaveh x reader#kaveh smut#kaveh series#childe fluff#childe x reader#childe smut#childe x reader smut#kaveh x reader smut#childe series
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✦ Lost in Limbo Devlog #11 | 05.08.24
AHA! Nope, we didn't forget about April's devlog. In fact, we have been busier than ever—doing early preparations for our Kickstarter, working on the demo, sorting out legal stuff...
Speaking of which...
This month we have been really busy making our studio official by the law! Now, to pay taxes and cry! YAY!
We are very very excited about it—and also terrified! We are still sorting out the studio's bank account, as burocracy isn't the fastest thing in this world, sadly. This is the first thing I wanted to talk about in this devlog, because it's such fantastic news for us! :')
Now, let's jump on the process we've made this past month, shall we? ✨
This past month, Raquel worked very hard on our second Key Art. This was originally made for Steam, but I modified the format a bit so it could also be used in other places! I honestly love this one—we have our first Key Art to represent the darker aspects of the game, and then this one to show off the characters' dynamics! Not everything's going to be horror and mystery in the game!✨💜
Also, we have been working on designing the merch for the Kickstarter, but we can't show anything yet. All we can say is that everything is looking gorgeous and we are so excited to share it eventually!
Thanks to Airyn, we've made great progress with the backgrounds! In fact, there's only one left to finish. The one you see above needs a few final touches (that will be made by yours truly!), and then I'll animate it a bit to get it ready for the build! The rest of the backgrounds are finished, animated, and integrated in the build :3
The survey icon is missing, but it'll be there!
Well, this should tell you everything you need to know when it comes to programming! The whole demo is programmed. Functional. Nothing crashes. Stuff works and I'm over cloud nine. I have been working on the final touches (revisiting scenes, checking sprites, music / sfx volume...) and the beta testing phase will begin soon. Soon as in tomorrow.
We've mainly used this month to review the auditions we received for our casting call, contacting the selected VAs, etc. Every VA has accepted their role, received the document with the lines we'll need for the demo, and we'll work hard to announce the cast publicly as soon as possible! We want to at least do a promotional short video showcasing every LI and their VA!
Sadly, making the studio official has (and will) take more time than we anticipated, and as we want to release the demo on Steam, the review process will most likely slow us down. There's the option of doing an itchio release and then a Steam one, but I'm not sure if that'll hurt the project. We are still keeping the demo release date a secret, until things settle down!
Also, I couldn't finish this devlog without talking about the Magic & Mystery Otome cross-promotion! ✨ We were invited by the amazing folks at Best Laid Plans Studios to participate in this event that showcases 12 amazing visual novels like Alaris, Obscura, Dual Chroma and more! I know I have been pretty annoying with this (can you blame me, though?!) so I won't keep rambling about it—just check everyone out, please!
I think that's all! Well, that's not all, but we gotta keep a bit of mystery surrounding the demo! We have been busy bees this month, with the making of the studio, the polishing of the demo, contacting and coordinating the VAs...
We are so excited for the demo release. I'm personally excited and terrified, but blame it on the OCD. I keep jumping from catastrophic scenario to catastrophic scenario. I'll have no control over what happens when the demo goes live, but I have control on what I can do before that happens—and that's working as hard as I've been doing this whole time.
And that's it! Please take care, enjoy the week, and stay hydrated. The Raventar team, NOW AN OFFICIAL STUDIO, wishes you all the best and sends a huge hug your way! 💜
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Hey,
haven't seen you around a lot lately. Just writing to check in. how is it going? Wish you a nice evening
it is going, thank you for asking!
Life has been very busy these past few months but is moving in a hopefully good and definitely exciting direction.
In this particular order (if memory serves correctly) I've:
decided to move halfway across the continent
marked the one year anniversary of the worst time of my life
had other people mark the one year anniversary of the worst time of my life with all that entails
quit my job (I'd been planning that for a while)
had my boss and hr offer to let me go instead and half my notice period to two months (aka 'give' me more money and facilitate my move, yay pity)
started looking for a place to live and organizing my move
found a new job in a slightly different corner of halfway across the continent (I start July 1st)
got my request for citizenship approved (epic timing guys)
found a place to live in an awesome area (I will be able to do all my errands on foot and my new job is only a short bike ride away)
told everyone I was leaving for sure
signed the paperwork to have my uncle in law take over the place here
had my cousin offer to move my stuff with his remodeled fire engine in exchange for gas and (bridge) tolls
did all the paperwork in the universe ever
started saying my goodbyes for now (I still have lots of family and friends etc here so I'll be back a lot)
had my cousin tell me he'd make a bro trip out of the move because his friends really wanted to see a basic bridge, and room and board plus no girls was all the compensation they needed for getting to carry my boxes
said thanks but no thanks to citizenship (sorry Wille, you'll always be my King)
was asked if I minded the move taking a bit longer because the guys wanted to stop for totally unplanned soccer (a not insignificant part of their motivation if not a deciding factor I dare say)
did more move and job leaving planning and paperwork
welcomed, fed and watered a bunch of guys really into soccer bridges and very disappointed I didn't have more boxes they could compete carrying
prepared a big lunch basket and said goodbye to said guys and my boxes
sat down to write this list wondering where I should celebrate midsummer (aka do I want to travel back and forth to get everything ready or stay until it's time to hand in my work laptop etc)
Phew, yes. Also a million other things which won't come to mind right now. Thank you to everyone who left me such kind messages btw. I appreciate them so much but am still learning to respond to kindness and compliments without awkwardness. They nevertheless give me life.
In more interesting news to everyone here I've also done a lot of writing.
Mostly on One Wild Summer, which has already grown into a monster, but I've been writing the exciting parts later on and still guesstimate a 15k or so stretch which needs bridging to get to all the fun stuff I've already written.
but also on The Prince and the Barista and As Long as We Have Each Other. I only need to make it coherent and once again fill the gap to where I stopped posting.
plus *cue exasperated sighs* I'm also 9k+ into a new fic! The (once more) absolutely most self-indulgent thing I've ever written in this fandom and something I swore I never would turn into a proper fic. Expect the prologue for that (which was meant to be 500 words and not 5k) soonish.
Everything else including regular updates not before mid to late July though I think. Because moving and starting a new job and life means busy times and while I can write scribble down connected sentences with half a mind, I can't beta read and edit with half a mind.
tl;dr: I am still writing yr fic and haven't abandoned my fics, but am also busy moving. goodbye cloudberries and lingonberries, hello wineberries vineyards and appleberries apple orchards.
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blue side of the sky (lmh) | eight.
♡ spotify playlist | series masterlist
—summary: waking up after 3 months with no recollection of your past, your friends do what they can to help you remember. except, they omit an important piece to the puzzle - afraid you would remember the heartbreak and hurt all over again.
—pairing: lee know x f. reader
—genre: (18+) exes to lovers, bestfriends to lovers au | fluff, angst, (eventual) smut
—word count: 5.5k
—chapter warnings: cussing/mature language, mentions of alcohol consumption (not by oc), very platonic slow-dancing with jisung, we hear jisung's feelings about the accident 🥺, a bit more descriptive details of the accident, more minho x oc interactions yay!!, flashback - kisses/probably err on the side of making out lol
"Shit, I need to be at Yeong-Su's in the next five minutes or else my parents are gonna kill me." Jisung huffs as he struggles to get his tie done. You put your eyelash curler down to help him because you can't watch him struggle any longer. You step in front of him and take over, neatly securing his tie around his neck before looking up at him with a small smile. "Thank you." He lets out a breath of relief before looking at himself in the mirror once more.
"You're welcome. You should go."
"You're gonna be okay?"
"I will."
"What are you trying to say?" Chan yells from their room, making the two of you laugh.
"You look beautiful, cielo."
"Thanks. You don't look too bad yourself, pachi." He smiles.
"See you guys down there." He calls out before rushing out of the room to meet the groom and the groomsmen. You finish curling your lashes, adding some light falsies to spruce up your look. You didn't add much makeup since you were going for a more natural look, but you were satisfied with how it turned out in the end.
You weren't entirely sure in the beginning, you hadn't done this in a very long time. It feels nice.
When you finally give your hair one last fix and spray a bit of perfume, you step into Chan and Seungmin's room, seeing them fix their suits a few times while looking in the mirror. Chan's eyes dart from the mirror to you, then back to the mirror before he's doing a double take.
"Wow, you look amazing Y/N." He turns to look at you. "And you were saying you weren't sure about the dress?"
"I just haven't dressed up like this in awhile, you know?" You shrug. "San said it was nice." Your hands brush down the fabric of the dress while Seungmin and Chan chuckle.
"San was right." Chan nods. "Though, I hope he knows we won't make it easy for him to weasel his way into your heart." Chan focuses on tightening his tie once more.
"Seriously, Y/N. You look stunning." Seungmin adds. "Ready to go?"
"Mhm. Ready when you two are."
"Alright, let me just throw on my watch and I'll be good." Chan says, snatching his Rolex off of the nightstand and securing it around his wrist. The three of you head straight towards the garden area, your eyes light up at all the wedding decorations. The venue was decorated beautifully with its sage, taupe and champagne flowers and tones.
You're pulled out of your daze when you hear a familiar voice greeting Seungmin and Chan, Chan glancing over at you once you've met the eyes of said familiar voice.
"Y/N, hey." Minho says, slowly eyeing you up and down. "W-wow, you look amazing." You look at him with a small smile as you also peep his outfit— a crisp button up with a black tie, sleeves rolled up mid-way with nicely pleated grey slacks. It's simple, but it works well for him. His long, brown hair slightly drapes over his eyes, a silver watch sitting prettily on his wrist.
"Hey Minho. Thanks, you don't look too bad yourself." You chuckle just as Chan gently tugs at the gift bag in your hand.
"I'll go place this down at the gift table for you, alright? Gotta put my gift down too." You give him a small nod before returning your attention to Seungmin and Minho. They're chatting amongst themselves, and you find yourself shuffling closer to Seungmin as the crowd grows.
"You okay?" Minho suddenly asks. "Did you take your medicine?" Seungmin subtly bites onto his bottom lip while he watches your eyes shift upwards at Minho. Suddenly, Minho feels a little embarrassed for outwardly showing his worry for you. He knows this isn't the time, he knows he needs to step back. "Sorry, I—"
"It's okay." You give him a reassuring nod. "I did this morning. I appreciate the reminder, though." Minho simply nods in acknowledgement before Seungmin butts in.
"We should find our seats." He says, watching the rest of the guests settle into their seats. Seungmin's hand settles on the small of your back, gently pressing you towards the way to your seats. At this point, Chan re-joins the group and follows along, greeting some of Jisung's family members on the way over. Seungmin takes the seat near the aisle, followed by you, Chan and Minho. Just as Chan settles into the seat, Minho meets your eyes and his facial expression softens. The corner of his lips tug upwards into a tiny smile that you almost miss, and he doesn't necessarily peel his eyes off of you even as the pianist starts to play the entrance song.
You feel that look settle in the pit of your stomach.
"Oh shit, it's starting already." Chan harshly whispers over to you and Seungmin. The three of you stand as the pianist plays the song loudly, the bridesmaids accompanied by the groomsmen. Jisung walks down the aisle with a smug smirk on his face that makes Chan, Minho and Seungmin quietly laugh to themselves. Shortly following behind is another couple, then another— until the entire group passes and lines up at the altar. Once they've settled in their positions alongside of Yeong-Su, Yuna begins to make her way down the aisle looking beautiful as ever in her wedding dress.
You watch the way Yuna and Yeong-Su look at each other so lovingly in the eyes as they go through their vows, the tears still flowing down their cheeks— causing everyone in attendance to break into their own tears and sniffles. You wonder what it's like to be completely enamored by someone, to love someone so deeply and with everything in you;
What is love?
Were you ever in love at some point? True, genuine love?
Your eyes wander to the ocean just behind the venue, before they fall onto Minho again. But, when you turn, you find that he's looking at you already and his expression is unreadable. He is always unreadable, but it's the feeling you get that confuses you the most.
"Kiss!" Seungmin yells just as the crowd begins to yell along, making you chuckle. Minho is no longer looking at you, and he's snapped himself back to current times— back to reality.
God.
The wedding passes quickly, with the reception following shortly behind. It's a short distance of a walk, the huge tent with champagne-colored drapes right around the corner of the hotel. The view of the sunset and ocean is clearer in this area, with the breeze a bit stronger [though it hits the drapes and decorations beautifully].
"Cielo." Jisung comes from behind, causing you to turn over your shoulder to look at him. "Are you still doing okay?"
"Mhm." You nod. "I was just about to to grab a drink."
"I can do it—"
"It's fine, pachi. I got it." You give him a toothless smile as you step forward to the self-serve area for the drinks; all the fruit-flavored, non-alcoholic drinks lined up in cute beverage dispensers with gold detailing. You help yourself to some of the strawberry mango concoction that's almost gone, waiting for every drip to fall into your cup.
"I'm nervous." Jisung whines a bit, watching as you wait for your cup to fill.
"Why are you nervous? You're going to be fine, Ji."
"I haven't sang in front of my family in such a long time."
"And I'm sure you'll do great. They'll love you. Besides, you'll have Seungmin with you." You finally bring your cup up to your lips while you turn to Jisung.
"You don't think my singing voice is icky, right?"
"Jisung, please." You chuckle and shake your head. "Your voice is lovely. Your family will love it." You give his arm a gentle squeeze. "Promise." He lets out a deep breath before he nods.
"You're right." He walks alongside of you as you walk back to the table, Chan helping himself to the salad and bread that was just served. The three of you engage in small talk over some food, while Minho decides to sip on his drink near the open bar area. He watches the way you laugh and smile, his gut wishing he was the reason why—
"Please tell me you're just taking way too long to decide which drink you'll go for after you finish that." Seungmin comes to his side, making Minho damn near choke on the cocktail he's sipping.
"Excuse you."
"Creep." Seungmin gives him a look and Minho glares at him.
"I was just people-watching."
"Like that makes it any better."
"Would you mind your own business, Kim Seungmin? Don't you have a song to sing soon?"
"Soon, not right now." Seungmin sips on his cocktail before digging his other hand into his pocket. "So, staring at Y/N?"
"I wasn't staring at her." Minho looks at him, but all Seungmin does is cock a brow up. "I mean I was, but like, I was just making sure she was okay.. from a distance. It wasn't too long ago when I brought her to urgent care."
"Was that hard?"
"What?"
"To say that you care."
"She's still my bestfriend at the end of the day." Minho blurts out the first excuse that comes to mind even though he has no right to play that card.
"Alright then." Seungmin shrugs, half-understanding why Minho was acting the way he was, half-not-understanding why he couldn't just say what was on his mind. "Whatever you say, my guy. I'm gonna head back to our friends." He heads for the table with Minho following shortly after.
The remainder of the program goes by beautifully, with Jisung, the rest of the bridesmaids and groomsmen giving their thoughtful and sweet speeches. You've cried once or twice, especially when Yuna shares a dance with her father, and Yeong-Su gives his own speech to everyone before catering to his now-wife. There are special surprise performances from family, one being Jisung and Seungmin's performance— singing to Alto Moon's 'Mars.'
As soon as the dance portion of the night begins, Chan whisks you away to the dance floor, twirling you around before the both of you start to dance along to the song. Shortly, Seungmin joins along after he's found his way towards you two, then Jisung, Yuna and Yeong-Su. Minho joins the circle, laughing and enjoying himself across from you. Nonetheless, it's a good time and you find yourself having tons of fun with Jisung's family and your friends. You almost don't want the weekend to come to an end because you'll be looking to relive the entire thing all over again.
It's the first time you've felt alive in awhile.
"Hey." Jisung slips into the empty seat next to Seungmin while you two sit down for a break. "Please, help. I need a break from them." He points at his family. "They're killing me with the pictures." He tries to duck by Seungmin's figure to avoid people calling him over.
"Sucks to be you." You laugh at Seungmin's remark. "Jisung is over here!" Seungmin calls out, making Jisung punch him on the bicep.
"You asshole." He moves away from his seat to keep dodging his family, putting his hand out for you to grab when the songs begin to slow down. "Perfect timing! Let's go dance, cielo." Jisung brings you out onto the floor for a slow dance. You wrap your arms around his neck and he holds you around the waist, the both of you swaying to the slow beat of the song.
"Are you having a good time? Feeling okay?"
"I am. Thank you for bringing me along."
"Of course, I knew you'd enjoy it." He chuckles a bit.
"No, really. Thank you." You pull back to look at him. "You know, for always looking out for me and being there for me? For being patient? I know it might not be easy after everything that's happened. Or, I might not be the easiest to take care of, but you make life a lot smoother."
"Cielo, you're my bestfriend. I'll do anything for you." He lets out a breath. "When the accident happened, I was scared." Even if he won't get into too many details right now, it's the first time Jisung is really speaking up about the accident. "I couldn't help but blame myself because I felt like I could've done better. I spent nights trying to figure out where I could have prevented this from happening, where I lacked in keeping you safe. Why I didn't do certain things—"
"Jisung, that wasn't your fault."
"Still." He looks at you. "Maybe I should've prevented you from leaving that night. I should have made you stay knowing the storm was at its peak." You can't even remember the night of the accident, but your uncle had briefly mentioned leaving Jisung's. Why you were there, you weren't sure. Why you left, you aren't sure. But you hopped in an Uber, the driver losing control of the car when a drunk driver in the opposite lane swerved— causing the car to flip when you were only 5 minutes away from home.
It makes you sick to even think about it. That's one thing you don't want ever to relive, or have memories of.
"There are things you can't protect me from, pachi." You say softly while looking up at him. "Just as me with you."
"I just should've done better, Y/N. I could have." He clears his throat. "You were almost taken away from me. I'll never let another opportunity slip past me again." He looks at you as if it's the last time he's looking at you. But before the moment carries on, he pulls you in, hugging you tightly and warmly. He keeps you close, because that's what he feels like he needs to do from this moment on.
"I'm here, pachi." You softly say as you part from him. All he can do is look at you and nod, giving you some space as the next song begins to play.
"I know." At this point, Jisung's mom comes from behind him and sweetly asks for a dance from her son. You hand him off, smiling at them right before you turn on your heel to head to the bathroom. Luckily, it isn't too far into the hotel. You can't wait to relieve yourself and freshen up a bit, giving yourself a bit of a break before heading back out to be surrounded by people and loud music.
Once you feel like you've given yourself a good enough breather, you leave the bathroom and turn the corner—
"Woah." Minho says, his hands immediately coming to your elbows. "Oh jeez, I'm so sorry Y/N." He says when he realizes it's you he almost ran into.
"You're alright." You chuckle. "I shouldn't have turned the corner so quickly." He puts on a small smile.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I just needed a little bathroom break and a quick breather." You look past his shoulder to get a glimpse of the party. "Is Jisung still with his mom?" He shakes his head.
"No, but his auntie."
"Of course. I saw you and Chan with the aunties earlier."
"Gotta save them a dance or two, you know?" You giggle.
"How sweet." Pause. Silence. Minho observes every inch of your face, body— the scar on your cheek from the accident, and the one near your hairline. You're beautiful, and he doesn't even care if he's staring.
All that liquid courage, especially.
"You really do look amazing tonight."
"Thank you, Minho." You fiddle with your fingers. "I should let you get back to.. you know.." He lets out a small breathy laugh just as you see Jisung hurrying into your point of view.
"Please. Help." You read Jisung's lips and furrow your brows, causing Minho to turn over his shoulder and look at him.
"He always needs saving." Minho rolls his eyes, making you laugh at his statement.
"Are you gonna head back to the table after?" He nods.
"Yeah. But for now, I think you should get to Jisungie before he cries."
"Right. I'll see you later." You chuckle as you walk past him and meet Jisung, who is hiding from his aunties [again] even in plain sight.
Minho is left alone to ponder on his thoughts, and he can't stand this.
Actually, he can't stand himself. Cause god, he was preparing to accept the worst. To lose you, to not have you around. To have something taken away from him so suddenly.
Then, that wasn't the case. But that's not the issue at all, no. He's happy and he can't stop thanking the higher power for giving you another chance at life. He doesn't know what he'd do without you, you were always important to him. Always will be.
Still, you are what he loves the most.
But he can't stand himself because he's here, acting like everything is fine. He was heartbroken when you didn't remember who he was, had no recollection of the memories you two shared— he fell deeper in this dark hole with Kat even though he didn't intend to. She just filled this void that he had, and it's fucked up of him to lean on the girl that messed up everything you two had in the first place. He couldn't help himself. But, what breaks his heart the most now is that you don't know, and you may or may not ever know. He couldn't dare to see you crying or hurt. Even though Minho really wants to be honest, he really wants to tell you.
You two have so much to talk about.
He looks at you as you hit the dance floor with the group and he's just not sure when or how to do this— how to even act around you because you're the girl he's always loved. You're the girl he imagined spending his entire life with. But you're also the same girl he hurt so, so deeply.
He's the one who brought you all this love, along with all this hurt, and he'll never forgive himself for it.
He wishes it wasn't so difficult because when he looks at you, he wishes he could love you time and time again— like the world was due to end any minute now.
That's way too selfish of him, though. He's already been selfish once, and he won't dare to be that selfish again. He'll try not to.
Not if it hurts you.
Jisung joins Yeong-su and the groomsmen for a little after party at a nearby bar, while Chan and Seungmin busy themselves with rounds of Mario Party in the room. You decide that you want to walk and experience more of the ocean, listening to the waves crash against the sand under the cool weather.
"I'm going to walk around the hotel."
"Wait, do you want one of us to come?" Chan's eyes are fixated on the screen in front of him as he furiously presses the button on the controller.
"No, it's okay. I just wanted to take a quick walk and sit by the water for a minute. I'll come back." You stand at their doorway and give them a small smile.
"You su— ah, fuck off dude!" Seungmin yells. "Are you sure, Y/N?" He repeats to finish off his previous thought.
"More than sure." You give them one last wave before heading out the door. After the wedding, you quickly took a shower and threw on some cotton shorts, a baby tee and a loose zip-up to protect you from the colder breeze at this time of night. You zip it up halfway, tugging on the zipper as you step into the elevator and head down to the first floor. It's still pretty lively, with guests at the restaurant and bar. Just as you send a text to your uncle to let him know you're okay, you do a double-take when you catch a familiar face sitting in the same exact dining area where you and Seungmin sat yesterday.
You don't say much, but you're quick to find out that you don't need to. As if his instinct told him to turn right at the moment, he does. He catches your eyes as he's about to take another sip, a subtle smile forming at the corner of his lips when you shyly wave. He sets the glass down and lets the waiter know he's finished, acknowledging him once more before making his way over to you. He smiles a bit, but you can tell he's nervous [partially tipsy, too].
"I didn't think I'd run into you out here." Minho says, making you chuckle as he continues to walk alongside of you.
"I wanted to walk around and sit by the water for a bit."
"Not tired?" You shrug.
"I am, but I wanted to get a better view of the ocean before leaving." You look up at him. "I could ask you the same."
"I figured I'd explore around too."
"See." You giggle.
"What's Chan and Seungmin doing?"
"Playing Mario Party." He chuckles.
"Of course." It's silent for a bit before the two of you head down the steps and finally hit the sand. "They didn't wanna join?"
"I mean they asked, but I told them they didn't need to. Don't wanna interrupt their session."
"They'll live." You laugh a bit and nod.
"It's alright." Minho catches you take in a deep breath before exhaling, biting onto your bottom lip as you slowly take steps forward, closing in to the water. It falls silent between you two, but it's a comfortable silence. You take in the view, while Minho observes you.
Calm.
Beautiful.
So—
"So pretty." His head tilts to the side because yes, you are.
"Yeah, it is."
"I think I want to draw or paint this when I get back home." You quickly snap a photo.
"You should." You look at him and give him another small, toothless smile before sitting on the sand. Minho stands for a bit before he finally sits next to you— legs propped up while his hands rest on his knees. "How's all of that going?"
"I don't know. Better? Finally feeling some kind of inspiration to get back into art." You smile out towards the water. "I haven't done much yet. But either way, it's refreshing."
"That's good. How are the pottery classes?"
"Fun." You shrug. "Keeps me busy." You tuck your knees to your chest and look at him again. "I think I wanna work at the florist shop near Sunday Morning."
"Really? That'll be fun, too." Minho chuckles a bit. "You sure you're ready?" You nod.
"Yeah, think so. I feel ready. San said I should go for it, too." Minho's smile slowly fades. Of course he did.
"How's that?" He forces himself to ask, though he's afraid of the answer. Selfishly so. Here he goes, already failing with being selfish.
"Which? San?" You ask him, genuinely confused about the question.
"Mhm."
"He's becoming a good friend. We hang out, we talk."
"As long as he's good to you, Y/N." He's not even sure what direction that statement is going, but whatever it is— he truthfully and wholeheartedly means it. If San is what will make you happy, then he will let you be happy.
That's the most important.
"It's good company, that's all." Your arm brushes against his, but you don't react much about it. "Enough about me though, what about you?"
"I'm a boring person."
"Clearly not if we're bestfriends." You chuckle a bit.
"All I do is exist, Y/N. Truthfully. I just work, dance, cook." Minho laughs at how pathetic he's making himself sound right now, but it's true. It's all he does.
"Well, what about Kat?" He shivers a bit. It's weird how her name used to be like venom. Now, it's.. nothing?
"Kat?" He repeats and looks at you. You nod at him so innocently and it hits him how much the accident has changed you. Of course, not your fault. But it goes to show how difficult it's been having to adjust. "We— she— that's not really a thing anymore, I guess?"
"So, you two were dating officially?"
"No. Never. We casually saw each other but that's all." He swallows the lump in his throat.
"I'm sorry, Minho."
"No need." He chuckles. "We were never going to be serious. I just finally learned how to walk away from it. The hard way."
"I hope you really are okay." You rest your chin against your knees.
"I am. Don't worry about me." It falls silent for a moment before you call for him.
"Minho?"
"Yeah?"
"This is nice. I.. haven't been able to talk to you much, so it's nice to hear your voice more." He smiles before his head drops and he shakes his head.
"I know, I'm sorry. I just get occupied, and I always try to keep myself busy. Plus, I wanted to give you your space for a bit."
"I understand." You sigh. "This must be weird for you."
"No." He shakes his head. "It's not weird or anything. Don't ever think that."
"You feel distant."
"I'm not gonna lie, it's difficult because a lot has changed." He looks at you before tearing his eyes away. "I'm terrible at coping, and I'm terrible at dealing with big changes. All my own personal struggles, that's all."
"I get that."
"But I am sorry you feel that way. I know I should've done better, especially as your bestfriend. I haven't acted like it."
"It's okay, Minho. You don't have to apologize."
"I do. You deserve that from me." He looks at you again and his eyes soften. How he wishes he could pull you close, hold you, reassure you through a kiss on the forehead.
He feels his heart sink to the pit of his stomach, so he shifts and focuses on the water, listens to the waves crashing against the sand.
Maybe one day, he'll be able to look at you for longer.
"I wish you didn't leave so quickly after you brought me home from the clinic."
"I wanted you to get your rest."
"Jisungie was there. I was looking for you. I wish you stayed." This is what makes it difficult. You looked for him. He feels like it's been forever since that happened.
"I'm sorry." He replies softly. "I'll make it up to you, okay?"
"You can by staying and not hurrying away next time." You feel your heart thumping in your chest, and you're not sure why you feel so shy, so nervous around Minho right now. The root feeling you get with him is unfamiliar, strange— falls into the category of known unknowns. But, one thing is for sure: you crave Minho's company.
"I can do that." You nod before letting out a small yawn into your elbow. "Maybe we should head back so you can sleep?"
"Yeah, I think the exhaustion is finally hitting me." You giggle, watching as Minho stands and dusts himself off. He puts out a hand, letting you grab onto his to help pull you up to do the same. "At least I got to enjoy the ocean." You turn to him as you start to walk back into the hotel. "Thanks for spontaneously joining me."
"Of course."
"Are you on the fourth floor too?" He shakes his head.
"I booked my room a little last minute so I'm on the seventh." He digs his hands into his pockets. "Is Jisungie back?"
"No. He probably won't be back until later."
"Hm." He hums as he presses the elevator button.
"I think we're getting breakfast tomorrow right? Us 5?"
"Mhm. If Jisung is alive." You laugh and step inside.
"True. He'll be a mess later."
"Do you wanna sleep in my room?" You raise a brow at him and he instantly retracts. "Oh no, no— sorry, I meant like, you can sleep in my bed— fuck." He groans. before gathering his thoughts again. "We can switch. So you don't have to deal with him later." You laugh.
"It's alright. If I need help, I'll call you. How about that?"
"Fair enough."
"I'm sure he'll be okay." The elevator dings when it his the fourth floor. "Thanks again for the company. I'll see you tomorrow morning?"
"Yeah." You smile.
"Goodnight, Minho."
"Goodnight." His eyes are glued onto you even as you turn on your heel and walk down the hallway, the elevator doors closing in front of him.
Now, he feels empty.
He's left with another piece of his heart broken, left with the unbearing sadness and anxiety he feels every time you walk away from him.
How do you continue to love someone who doesn't remember you the way you remember them— who doesn't love you the way you love them?
☁︎ FLASHBACK | A NIGHT DURING FRESHMAN YR IN COLLEGE
"Ouch, fuck!" You whine as you almost slip on the dirt, making your way up the stupid fucking hill behind campus. "If I break my ankle or fall, this will be all your fault Lee Minho."
"You're fine! We're almost there, princess." He laughs loudly as he watches you struggle climbing up the somewhat steep hill. Minho holds his hand out for you to grab, giving you some leverage to tackle the dirt path. You squeal a bit when you feel him pull you upwards, letting out a laugh when you finally get your footing together on flat ground.
"All this for the tower." You dust yourself off and look up at the abandoned watch [fire?] tower nestled up in the hills behind campus. "So worth." You turn to look at the town's view ahead.
"Atta girl." Minho smiles and nods towards the tower. "Come, let's go up the stairs and sit up there." He swings the rusted, metal gate open to lead you to the stairs.
"We're not gonna get in trouble, right?"
"Baby, baby, baby." He says in a certain tone. "Are we really asking that question?"
"Well, I don't know!" Minho steps aside to let you climb up the steps first. "Campus security could see us from down there and catch an attitude about us being here at this time!"
"Then we'll just tell them we're not getting any younger. It's a must to explore what's outside of campus before we're thrusted in the real world." You snort as you reach the end, feet stepping onto the platform. It isn't an incredibly huge tower— quite frankly, it's tiny and you're not even sure why the dang thing existed in the first place. But, there's nothing eery to it at all. It's a nice spot to have these moments.
"A prophet. I am dating a prophet."
"Maybe." Minho laughs as he sits on the platform and takes a swig of his water. "Sit with me. Please?" Is all he says when he reaches for your hand and gently pulls you in between his legs. You sit contently, letting Minho lazily wrap his arm around your neck before planting a kiss on your temple.
"It's a perfect night." You look up at the dark, night sky, counting as stars in your immediate view. You feel your body into Minho's as he adjusts his position and holds you closer to him. "Thanks for taking me up here, love."
"Course." He gives you a small smile. "Just don't tell Ji or else he's gonna be pissed. He's been wanting to do the hike up here but I keep telling him I'm too lazy."
"Too lazy, huh?" You chuckle.
"Gotta make princess happy first and foremost." He boops the tip of your nose, making you slightly turn over your shoulder to meet his eyes.
"Hey, babe?"
"Hm?" He hums as he gently pushes the hair away from your face.
"What do you think life would be like for us in a couple of years?"
"Well." He lets out a breath as you lay back on him, the both of you watching the hustle and bustle of the town. "I'd be owning a café. You'll be teaching art, maybe opening your own little boutique for it. We'd probably live together, and I'll start stressing on how to propose to you as time continues to go on—"
"Woah, propose?" You smirk and playfully push him. "Is that so?"
"I thought we were looking at us in the future?"
"Cute. Do you think we're too young to think like that?" Minho shakes his head.
"Maybe." He presses a kiss to the top of your head. "But I'm sure of it. I think that counts for something." You let out a soft, breathy laugh.
"Yeah, you're right." You nod and lay back on him. "I like that. I like future us."
"Good." You scoff before laughing. Minho continues to stare at you, smile slowly fading when his eyes shift from yours, to your lips— back up to your eyes. "So pretty."
"It's nighttime." He shrugs as he leans in slowly.
"And? Can still see you perfectly." He mumbles just as his lips brush against yours— sending tingles down your spine. You subtly bite onto your bottom lip, closing in on the kiss. Minho holds the kiss for a moment before he inches back, coming in for another shortly after. This time, his tongue lightly glides across your bottom lip; his way of asking for permission to take the kiss a little deeper.
And you let him.
You slightly turn to position yourself better, hand coming up his neck, jaw, cheek, just as he sucks onto your bottom lip and tugs it back. You let out a soft sigh, smiling into the kiss as Minho continues.
"Maybe—we should—" You kiss him. "Head back?" He nods, giving you one last peck on the lips.
"Yeah." You prepare to stand and dust yourself off when Minho grabs your wrist. "Hey, babe?" You turn to look at him when he gets himself up. "I love you."
"I love you, too." You smile and kiss him on the tip of his nose.
☁︎ END
♡ taglist: @ppiri-bahng @jihanlovic @meloncremesoda @sweetlikecherry @hoes4lino @skzddicted @skzho @edgaralienpoe @harui-zen @bestleeknowstan @havenwithleeknow @septicrebel @heesdazed @borahae-reads @yoontaethings @pearbunny @bintificreads @lukeys-giggle @ajxreads @everglowdaisies @allaboutsan @endzii23 @leeknowsramen @heres-your-ramen2000 @morningstardada @mal-lunar-28 @downbadreading @lilysophie @feelikecinderella @urmomma0324 @ddazed-lhs @djeniryuu @melanctton @i8rsie @maru-matt @sleepyleeji @taerifin @nattisbored @jisunglyricist @m111nho @drhsthl @nixtape-foryou @arminseas @guiltycoco @syuuji @sulkygyu @cadihyo @reianagarcia @leeknowyah @smndjdufuehr
#lee know series#lee know fanfic#lee minho scenarios#minho fanfic#minho series#lee know x reader#lee minho x reader#stray kids series#stray kids fanfiction#stray kids x reader#lee know angst#lee know smut#lee know fluff#lee minho angst#lee minho smut#lee minho fluff#hyunfilms: blue side of the sky
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devlog 1 - cursor and the horrors of game making. the agony and such of making a rewrite fangame
hello!! name's cursor/siffrin and i'm a poor loser making a fangame!! why did i commit to this i could have just made a fic but noooo i gotta pick up rpgmaker again
this devlog is made because. well. all devs do one ithink. also to write down my ocasional progress in this project!! this won't be monthly but whenever i have the time and got something to report yay. spare me from this hellhole
we begin 💥
ever since cookie run the darkest night got cancelled a few months ago and left us with only chapter 1 i did feel sad!! i liked the story!!! gingerbrave cool and fucking awesome moments. BUT!! because i am mentally ill,, i decided to rewrite the game myself and give it the ending it deserved to have!! will the ending be proper i dunno. i am still writing this stuff waugh. but hey it will have an ending at least
to gamedev stuff proper. i got rpgmaker mz around 2022 for the purpose of making a cr game still. an original one!! however after making a few stuff i left it in hiatus bc i had to focus on school (i still do. college is breathing on my neck dear lord). i still plan to continue that one but it will be after i'm done with this rewrite. in either way. i've been changing placeholder stuff for now,, such as menu icons and figuring out how to make the party have five members. also re learning how to use aseprite because i gotta make all sprites haha (breaks down)
i should remind folks that i am an artist/writer first and foremost. i will very likely go through pure trial and error while making and 'coding' all of this (why did i plan 14 chapters oh my godddd),, though i do have notes i took from the rpgmaker tutorial so i can refer to when i'm stuck whenever and hey!! forums are always a thing!! i wouldn't have figured how to have 5 party members if they weren't!!
to writing stuff. i've been planning the prologue and the locations of the first 3 chapters so far. as well as a vague idea of chapter 12 and the epilogue. with point A and point B set,, now i just gotta make the middle point. aka the rest of the game</3
the main party and a few relevant npcs and characters have already been set. as well as brainstoming stuff and showing said stuff to the gingerbrave council (personal friend server) for approval of sillyness. you guys are fucking awesome btw if you're reading this. also hi chat
mentally i've been setting a timeline of events. i plan to write these in a notebook so i can have them at anytime and not have to open my laptop whenever i get a cool idea. or dig through thousands of discord messages just to find an idea i wrote down in the moment. overall i believe writing (in comparison to art making and the game making process) will be the easier part for me. also i gotta decide for a proper name for the rewrite. naming it the same as the og is lame. i need something with more sauce. i'll figure it out. in the meantime. have this goober
i'm sure this should be it for this devlog!! hooray!! what have i gotten myself into!!!
in all seriousness i'm honestly pretty excited,, i really want to make this game work and for people to play it!! even if it might be a bit of a pain i really wanna finish this project so there's tgat
that's all. see you all in the next devlog whenever that might be 💥
#cursor speaks#darkest night rewrite#cookie run#cookie run the darkest night#gamedev#devlog#fangame#rpgmaker
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so there’s this guy. or there was this guy. i used to have a crush on him for the longest time but i thought my friend liked him and that he liked her so i repressed my feelings which was fine. but he asked me friend out and she turned him down and apparently she’d never liked him and she was really confused because she thought he liked ME. really weird situation but this is a long winded way of saying that a few months later me and the guy got really close and i asked him out. yay!! and then and then we dated for like around 6 months maybe and then we broke up. or more like i broke up with him. i said i’d lost feelings but honestly now tjay i think about it im not sure. did i lose feelings?? i don’t know. it was also getting serious and i think that scared me a little bit. so maybe i didn’t lose feelings i was just scared of commitment? this was all like 3 years ago. i still think about him. i haven’t been in like a serious relationship since. and i’m thinking about him A LOT more lately. some of my friends think i should text him because they think we were great together and i just screwed it up. but i don’t know. i miss him sometimes. i think? i’m never sure how i feel about him except that i think about him. sometimes i’m scared that no one’s ever going to love me as much again. he loved me a lot. i think it used to scare me how much he loved me. sometimes i feel like no one else will ever love me and he was my only chance and i lost it. i feel like no one ever really likes me anyway, like i’m no one’s type. no one would see me and be like omg she’s cute or hot or have a little crush on me or whatever. but at the same time i don’t want to reach out to him just because im insecure and lonely lol. i think that’s unfair to both of us. but also maybe i am insecure and lonely but that doesn’t mean i don’t like him or miss him? i don’t know.
Stop thinking that you're unlikeable, or undesirable, or not anyone's type, for starters. I hands down guarantee that you're wrong, there is a societal hyperfixation currently on 'being attractive' and I am yet to find much of the rhetoric surrounding it to be in any way pertinent to how attraction works in real life.
Listen, I relate very hard to this particular one, because when I was 15/16, I broke up with @mrhaitch because he was so serious and I was afraid of how much he loved me.
I think you were right in listening to yourself; if it felt overwhelming, that's completely valid. A serious relationship can be a heavy weight to carry at any age, and although I don't know how old you are, you sound fairly young, and it might not have been the right time for you then.a
That doesn't mean it's not the right time now. Ultimately if you wanted to give things another shot, if he's single and you think you'd otherwise be on good terms, there's no harm in reaching out. The worst thing he can say is 'no thanks', frankly.
And I also thought I was nobody else's type. Very very sincerely. I still think that way about myself. Other people do not perceive you, as you perceived yourself. I assure you that of the couples I look after, the amount of them who express surprise over even being in a relationship with someone who is into them is high.
I agree that loneliness and "he's the only guy who ever liked me" aren't good reasons alone to pursue him. But if you really liked this guy, and think you still might, then you don't know until you try.
Do not be paralysed by the fear of failure or rejection. You will stagnate. Rejection does not confirm your fear that you are unlovable; if confirms that you haven't found the right one to love, but you won't be left with the lingering 'what if?'
Alright?
Love, as always,
-- Haitch xxx
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Sunday 7-
I had 2 drs appointments on Friday, one of which was a CT that was supposed to help figure out why I have so much pain in my right testicle(TMI). It saw nothing, so now we get to keep guessing. Boss told me to "take weekend off", but was doing the morning orders/teams call every day between 5-7, trying to fix stuff and do reconciliations. Glad they trust me with this, but wanna give a 'high five' to my imposter syndrome telling me im gonna get fired any day.
- had to take Henry to urgent care on Saturday, and it turns out he has the start of pneumonia. Wanna give a big shout out to the ARNP who told me she really thought he should just 'ride it out' after 10 days of awful coughing and that their kids 'were still in it after a month'. Yeah, the PA said there was no way he wasn't leaving without antibiotics. Made me feel like an asshole parent... he's on day 2, and already more of himself.
- I went back up there today for me, and I have pretty severe bronchitis. He put me on a different antibiotic, more steroids, refilled my inhaler, and actually listened to me. I mean, I appreciated his care and actual concern. Fun situation: while I was there, a tree fell across the powerlines and tripped off most of town, so they had to go to back-up generators. There was a hall full of people, in a brown out, that the staff were managing like pros. Seriously, we are lucky to have that place.
-after today, I have 4 payments left on my car. 4. I think we will wait till June, and then it's 4 door vehicle time. The lunabug is getting taller, and we want to go see my dad/stepmom in Eastern Wa in something that has space. Everybody and their dog has sent me one of those damn, "interested in a new car loan? It's OK to check your rate, and won't hurt your credit" messages and as soon as my credit union chimes in, I'm sure we'll have something to talk about.
- speaking of something to not talk about, I learned a new term and joined a subredit today called 'dead bedrooms', and yeah, checks out completely. I don't have a therapist yet, so it's not a bad sorce of info or me trying to figure out what I have messed up(apparently, yet again).
- so I had to stop at Walmart(yay for small business destruction by a corporate giant!) for meds/a few groceries and this dingus in an f250 with a WA st license plate celebrating wrestling decided he needed to back into a compact space that was in front of me. He almost hit the first car on the way in(who had to stop and back up), but then he literally backed his 'not a farm truck but a penis extension' into the compact space in front of me, and thanks to me backing up knowing he would have been sticking out if I didn't, he took 3 feet of my spot and his hitch was literally 4 inches from hitting my car. In my space. And that entitled piece of shit didn't even look to see how close he was, he just walked away like he was the king of backing up. Look, I have no problem with wrestlers, but the only one who matters in my life is John Irving, and I think he would have been sensitive enough not to be a shit bird like that! (Part 1 of 2 rant)
- I wanted to share a thought or 2 about something I've seen going about on here for a little bit, because I think i need to say avfew things:
I love that I have so many people I follow here who take stances for the poor, marginalized, POC, and other underrepresented communities-not just in a perfunctory way of saying 'I support you'; but quite a few of you are actually involved in helping bring about change and strengthening communities by being unselfish hands that help heal hearts- you inspire me to be a better person, really. As a person of faith, I see you doing the work that many faith leaders of old spoke of when they talked of when they said, "serve as you have been served, and love as you have been loved"- and seeing that faith in action, it has made me read more about liberation theology and revisit the works of the Rt Rev Bishop Desmond Tutu, Dietrich Bonhoffer, and Dr Martin Luther King jr(and of the later, 'Why I oppose the war in Vietnam' is just as relevant now as it was then). I thank you all for this inspiration and work.
But what I have really come to realize about myself is that I am a person of privilege. I am a white CISmale, straight, accessed a good education at a young age, had a huge extended family that helped raise me when my mom had me at 17, have never had to worry about my gender causing me to be looked at differently, have a good job(for now), have access to clean water, don't live in a food desert, and save for the fact that I understood discrimination at a very young age thanks to my last name, I know that I have lived a mostly privileged life.
But there is one privilege I will never take for granted, and that's voting. And yes, I don't always vote my conscience because at heart, I am a democratic Socialist. But I always vote in my local and state house election because it is in places like your local school board or your city council where you can stop the spread of groups like 'Moms for Liberty' or any of the other neo-fascist organizations that seek to change education or change for the worse how cities deal with their population experiencing homelessness. If I stay home from these elections, I feel like I'm spitting on my great grandmother's grave(whose name I found on the voting roll of the first year that women could vote in Basin, Montana). I feel like I'm not being a good parent or a community member for sticking up for my sons right(or other kids rights) to read books in the school library that have a rainbow(let alone letting kids see representation for non-traditional families that are just the same as everybody else!). So please, if you're feeling crappy about the election, this right here is the biggest way to affect change if you don't know where to start or affirm.there is something you can do to really make a difference. Don't see enough representation of POC on your city council, especially in multi-ethnic communities? Hear a trans voice that would make for a great representative for all people? Fill in those boxes, act locally, and get those folks elected! It works if you work it!
I hear a lot of voices talking about Joe Biden these days, and I feel numb and angry about a lot of things that have been done in our names too: I hate HATE what is happening in Gaza(PBUT); I hate our support of Saudi Arabia and the proxy war in Yemen; Our jaunts in Zaire and Jordan; I hate that we are no closer to universal Healthcare, but I understand that that road and others lead through a Republican congress. I love that child poverty is declining, but programmes that were designed to make this a reality are sunsetting. We have a barbaric and truly archaic policy on immigration, and every time(that's not hyperbole, either), every goddamn time a good bill has been proposed to deal with the issue, the bill has been met by the xenophobic forces on the right and their deep pockets fueling the media and it is destroyed out of fear. And let's not forget student debt forgiveness, the continued dismantling of public education by states like Texas and Florida, Our goal of dismantling of the prison industrial complex, the protection of reproductive healthcare, and the dire need for nationwide police reform.
Yes, our laundry list is long, but it is full of necessary things that need to change or be codified in order for a great change to happen for generations and the continuatonof this great experiment called the U.S.A.
And for all of this and more, I ask: where are the leaders of our generation on this? Where are the ghosts of John Lewis, of Paul Wellstone, and of Shirley Chisholm? Thankfully, our leaders and the ghostsbof their forebearers are there- they are doing their best, and thankfully we(those of us on the progressive side) are represented by POC women who will go to the mat for these issues and more, being inspired by those who came before them. But the more that I think about it, it's time that we offer an ultimatum: we'll give you our voting block, Joe. We'll help bring along the majority of the 9 million new voters who are coming of age this year, so you will have a supermajority with which you can put forth truly transformative legislation. Sure, you'll get us- for now. But if it's businesses as usual, if we are not knocking over the tables of the money changers, and if we are not investing more in programmes of social uplift than we are for the military industrial complex, then we strike. Not in 2028, as one of my absolute favourite people on here suggest, but in 2026, in early summer. Because it is people like me, those of us who have know privilege and continue to know it, who are finally waking up to the truth that we need to do the work. We need to do the heavy lifting. I'm willing to make that offer, and I hope I'm not alone, because there either needs to be a change in the way our political system operates, or we walk away and start our own political entity. I hope I'm not alone in the way I feel, and I hope that we can all make the proposition. We have the leaders, we have the people, now it's about courage. It's time.
But for today, if you can pull the lever for democrats nationally, I totally get it. But consider what I said about voting locally, and in local races and elect people who represent your values. It matters.
- ok, rant over: if you made it this far, know that I love you all and I hope this week brings good things for you. Remember what Pete Seeger always said: "Take it easy, but take it". Much love yall!
#me#this is my life#exhausted#singer songwriter#henry adam#washington state#in repair#democratic socialism#radical feminist safe#POC safe#we are one in the spirit of reform#time to dream it up again#Spotify
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Dear Reader
Hey, Hey, Heeeeeeyyyyy
Long time no update, eh? I hope you're all doing well! Let me know down in the comments I miss all of you truly.
Let's get this out of the way: No, I'm not here to tell you that I won't be continuing the fic. I certainly am going to. Really I just wanted to give you guys updates on what's going on and why my hiatus took 7 plus months unexpectedly. I won't go into the nitty gritty details of it all but I will give a general idea because it may result in other hiatuses (I’m working around trying to find a way to prevent that though).
Firstly, I have been dealing with chronic pain for the past few months. I feel it in my back, knees, neck and hands mostly. Which you can imagine, prevents me from typing, drawing or doing much of anything as much as I would like to. At most I can properly type a few paragraphs at a time before my fingers want to give out. Regarding my hands, I have no idea where this stems from (certainly not me cracking my knuckles as a teenager, not that can’t be it…), but I’m doing different things and exercises that have been helping me. For the rest of my body, I couldn’t tell you but I’m working on doing better health practices to keep myself functioning.
Secondly, I’m a uni graduate (yay). And I have been STRUGGLING at finding a job in this post-pandemic economy. I’m not even gonna go into the absolute outrage I feel about this. Either way, I got a small job at a cafe that lasted a month and it put me in such a depressive state that I just recently was able to pull myself out of it (it was seriously THAT BAD, guys). And on top of that I’ve been feeling like a failure for not being able to find a job in my field. Either way, I’m in my Miles Morales era and doing my own thing.
There’s more to it but those are the main ones. I have been thinking about this story NON-STOP so don’t worry I haven’t given up on it. I promise I will be back. I’m going to be writing, but I probably will be updating slower than usual. I want to improve in my writing and make sure the chapters are the best they can be for you guys to enjoy (literally I was reading Manacled and Crimson Rivers and the writing is soooo good that I was mad at myself for not being at that level even if I did have a decade long writer’s block LMAO). If you sent in any request for me to write, I haven’t abandoned you guys either! Don’t worry! I SEE YOU! I will give you your requests!
Speaking of, I am planning my next fic (literally ignore my trello I have to organize it honestly). It’s going to be Marauders Era one. I have a few ideas of what I want to do but I am excited to write it! More OCs to come! (Disclaimer: FUCK JKR, Let’s all steal the wizarding world and make it lgbtqia+ AF).
Anyways, I didn’t say all this to gain pity. Please don’t pity me. I just wanted to keep you all updated on what's going on.
It’s good to be back! I missed all of you.
(Literally i'm such an asshole for leaving ya'll on a cliffhanger like that. I am SO SORRY. Literally tf is wrong with me fr.)
Tags:
@i-love-mommy-wanda @riordanness @peterdarlingg @thecrystalclarity @brckenmemories @paleprincesssxo @blackcanary130 @kindlover @i-have-no-life-charlie @melodicheauxxlovesfood @hufflepuff-n-fluff
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chapter 5 already, yay!!! more romance coming in this one hope you’ll like it :p
Chapter 5 : Flirting On The Clock
As (Y/N) found herself lost in admiration of Luis, she struggled to avert her gaze. His confident stride, messy hair, and the way he held his cigarette captivated her.
Unbeknownst to her, Luis had noticed her fixed stare and couldn't resist the opportunity to tease her a little, true to his playful nature, despite his previous serious demeanor.
Luis approached (Y/N) with a mischievous glint in his eyes. He smiled, standing beside her and pretending to be oblivious to her intense gaze. "Hey, princesa, are you trying to see if I have superpowers or something? You're looking at me quite intensely," he said in a teasing tone.
Surprised, (Y/N) blushed and averted her gaze, feeling embarrassed for being caught off guard. "Oh, no, I..." she stammered, struggling to find her words.
Luis grinned and took a step closer, lowering his voice. "You know, it's normal to have a crush on me. I won't tell anyone," he whispered, then finally locking eyes with her.
(Y/N) felt her heart race as she found herself locked in Luis' gaze. She tried to look away, but his magnetic presence made it difficult. "I... I..." she stuttered, unable to form a coherent response.
What was happening to her? She had never felt so affected by this man before. Was it the mask she had always worn that had protected her from Luis' charm all this time?
Embarrassed, (Y/N) tried to hide her blushing face with her hands, but it only seemed to make things worse for her.
Well, she had been lying to herself, of course, that man had always had an effect on her. How could she not be charmed by him? The truth was that every time he walked into a room where she was, during their work shifts, she felt a wave of heat coursing through her body. His charming smile, sparkling eyes, and confident stride fascinated her every time.
But (Y/N) had been suppressing her feelings, pushing them deep down, trying to maintain her composure and not succumb to her emotions. She had decided to keep her distance from Luis to avoid falling further under his spell. And for weeks, she had hidden behind her mask, making things easier for her. Luis had never realized what was going on in her mind, not once.
But he had never made it easy for her, never giving up on his goal to charm her, despite all the cold rejections he had received. These remarks would have deterred anyone else, anyone else but Luis.
Damn, where was that stupid mask now that she desperately needed it?
Feeling both embarrassed and annoyed by Luis' teasing, (Y/N) gathered her courage and looked him straight in the eyes, her cheeks still tinged with pink. "I don't have a crush on you," she retorted, trying to appear confident.
Her hands were almost trembling. She was fully exposed in front of this handsome young man, who was fully attentive to what was happening before him, and he must have been relishing every moment of it. After so many months, how could he let this opportunity slip by?
No more mask, she was sitting there in front of him, clearly vulnerable to his charms.
Luis raised an eyebrow, pretending to be surprised. "Really? Are you sure about that, mi dulce?" he teased, moving even closer until they were just inches apart.
That boy was so annoying with his little spanish nicknames, half of which she didn't even understand. But judging by the way it was said, it was surely meant to charm her, and the worst part was that it was working so well on her.
After a moment, Luis laughed softly and seemed to finally let it go, not wanting to make (y/n) too uncomfortable. He took a few steps back, his playful attitude giving way to a more sincere expression. "Hey, I was just teasing you," he said softly. "You don't have to be embarrassed. It's cute."
"Yeah, real cute," (y/n) said ironically, releasing a sigh of relief after Luis had backed away from her face.
He had been so close to her face, his intoxicating scent had made her feel dizzy, and she felt both vulnerable and drawn to him. She was now struggling to keep her composure and stay calm.
Luis's intense gaze was now locked in her mind for quite long, and she thought she had seen a glimmer of interest and desire in his eyes, not just teasing.
"I understand, mi princesa," he said again, a joking tone in his voice. "Now you see me as your Prince Charming, after all, I just saved your life."
"Stop right there," (y/n) said abruptly « God, I hate this kind of story, I didn't need you to 'save' me to find you attractive-"
Realizing what she was saying, (y/n) stopped herself.
"Anyway, I need to rest. Let's stop this little game. Your medications or whatever have scrambled my mind, it seems."
Luis's eyes widened, surprised by what he had just heard. He hadn't missed a single word.
"What did you just say?" he asked, returning to sit on the edge of the bed, getting closer to her.
"Nothing," she replied coldly, already regretting that she had said too much.
A smile spread across Luis's face as he gently took (y/n)'s hand in his.
A shiver ran through the young woman's body, from her fingertips to her cheeks, which turned pink again.
"No, no, stop the act of the cold chief of security, mi tontita," he continued mockingly, "and you know as well as I do that no matter what medication I may have given you, none of them could have made you react this way."
Luis was right.
She had kept her attraction to Luis a secret for so long, and now she was about to accidentally confess it. Might as well own up to it and tell the truth, now that he knows who she really works for, and that she knows he's no longer under Saddler's control. And who knows what might happen in the hours to come, with all the horrors happening outside in this village, she had nothing to lose, and these might be the only moments of respite they would have to talk during this night. So she might as well seize the opportunity of this moment before plunging back into hell.
The only thing (y/n) was afraid of was perhaps what the man in front of her felt on his side, but whatever, fuck it.
She took a deep breath, pulled her hand out of Luis's grasp, and looked at him in the eyes.
"Okay, okay, you're right. I'm not immune to your charms, and that's been the case since we started working together, despite what I may have let show. It's much easier to hide your emotions when you're wearing a mask…"
Luis looked at (y/n), his heart melting at her sincerity.
He had never suspected any of this.
But the young woman's voice lowered as she seemed to regret everything she had just said.
"But in any case, I don't see how that helps us given the situation, and anyway, chances are the feelings are not mutual. I've seen you pull that same act on many women during our time working together," she let out a final sigh before looking away, feeling more than vulnerable.
Luis let out a small laugh, and with his left hand, he gently grabbed (Y/n)'s face. As she felt her entire body warm up, she found herself once again plunged into his gaze.
The two of them stared intensely at each other, the silence only broken by their accelerated heartbeats.
"Oh, mi querida," Luis murmured now, just millimeters from her face, "stop talking nonsense, would you? You hurt my feelings. I would dare to consider you like any other woman..."
Finally, he leaned in and kissed (Y/n) on the lips.
H o l y s h i t.
Yes, that was the first two words that crossed our young woman's mind.
But unfortunately, they barely had time to enjoy this moment, as heavy and slow footsteps could be heard above them.
"Wow, we're really professional, huh?" (Y/n) whispered softly.
She barely had time to joke before Luis quickly but gently placed his hand over her mouth, while signaling her with his finger to be quiet.
Their moment of respite was short-lived. Who was walking just above their heads?
#luis sera#resident evil#luis sera x reader#luis serra navarro#resident evil 4#resident evil remake#luis serra#luis serra x reader
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