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laurentidal · 2 days ago

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Love and Sacrifice

Valentine's Day Special 2025

Tiffany Bennet always hated me growing up. She hated that I got better grades than her. She hated that I was president of more clubs than her. And she hated that I was somehow just as popular as she was. But she had something that I didn't have, and she loved to throw it in my face. She had the attention of the boys.

I was well-liked and anyone would have said I was pretty. But I didn't have the rack that Tiffany had. And no matter how friendly or flirty I was, the boys all just saw me as the nerdy girl at the top of the class. She used to tell me that the only way I'd get a man was witchcraft. Well… She was half right.

I'm not a witch. Of course. But I am an extremely accomplished psychologist. I grew up. I continued to study. I got my Ph.D. I started my own practice. And I'm sure my bank account is far deeper than that slag Tiffany's. But her taunts still haunted me a decade and a half later. So when Dave came into my practice for help smoking, I seized on an opportunity.

He was handsome. He was successful. He was charming. He was single. He was deep in a guided hypnotic trance. And I was lonely. So as his guide, I steered him toward me. And like the good submissive man I now know him to be, he followed marvelously.

I saw his eyes wander over the waitress that night. She looked a little like I used to, before he knew me. I wondered if he was thinking the same thing. My heart ached slightly at the thought. I know it's natural and healthy for us to recognize beauty in people other than each other - even I could admit the girl was gorgeous - but he was mine. He should only have eyes for me. It wasn't my fault that we'd hit a rough patch just before Valentine's Day.

The girl's smile lit up the room and I haven't seen Dave so charming in a while. I don't think he even realized the change in his own posture and demeanor. But I did.

Maybe it was the stress of the last months. Maybe it was the never-ending cycle of hope and disappointment and blame and forgiveness. Maybe it was the third glass of wine she set down on the table, but I knew then what needed to be done. I knew that no gift I could give the man I'd chosen could compare with her.

After she took our dessert orders, I looked my husband in the eye and spoke his Words. Without a hint of resistance or a moment of hesitation, his eyes focused on me and his breathing slowed. I told him that he needed to excuse himself to the restroom and remain there until I sent him a text to return. He gave me his programmed response, stood, and walked robotically to the back of the restaurant.

And when she returned with our cake, I made sure that the gold necklace he'd given me an hour earlier was dangling lightly from my fingertips.

I asked her to sit for a moment. She hesitated, motioning to the full dining room, but I insisted. I told her that I was very impressed with her work tonight. I told her that she was obviously very comfortable with people. I repeated again and again about how good she must feel and tiring it must be to be on her feet. How exhausting it must be to remember all those orders. How much she needed to breath and relax. And all the while, the gold necklace spun and swung lazily in the air between us, glittering in the candlelight.

She didn't stand a chance.

I knew I didn't have much time. Despite my insistence, she did actually need to return to her job. But I was a professional. I took her deep quickly, speaking phrases and assurances and suggestions that I knew would take root at the center of her mind. And when I snapped my fingers, light came back to her eyes. She thanked me for the compliments and left with a smile. I texted Dave and he returned, still fully asleep.

I woke him. We ate our cake. We left a big tip. We saw a movie. And when the restaurant was closed, we returned. I told Dave that I'd left something there that I needed to retrieve. This is technically true, though it was a someone. I knocked on the locked door five times in a specific pattern, and the blonde waitress appeared behind the glass, eyes glazed and smiling.

She let us in and led us back to our table, where she promptly began to follow the rest of the routine I'd planted in her sleeping mind. I silenced Dave with his Words as she peeled off her uniform. Slowly. Enticingly. And as I watched, I explained to Dave what his real present was going to be.

Both of them woke with a snap, and Dave looked at me with tears in his eyes. He stood, pants obviously tented, and kissed me hard. He thanked me before turning to her. He asked her what she liked. She answered honestly and in great detail. Dave listened and nodded. Then she bent over the table, holding my stare, and letting herself fall into my eyes and he slid into her.

I sat there watching as Dave cheated on me for what I'm positive for the first time. My eyes had tears in them as well, but I knew that this was what had to be done. I tried not to look at him. Instead I looked at her. I held her gaze and whispered words to take her under again. We began to repeat mantras together, until I felt myself sliding under with her.

His two women, hypnotizing each other for him - for the future -only waking once he was finished. It would work. The problem was never with him. But in a marriage, you have to make sacrifices for the common good.

I was surprised that night at how wet I found myself staring into her beautiful eyes. Perhaps I still had things to learn about myself as well. At any rate, she was ours now. And a once given, a gift can be enjoyed by anyone.

Dave says now it's the best Valentine's Day he's ever had and the best gift he's ever received. Though I never would have thought it possible then, I'm inclined to agree.

Kendra has decided to continue to live with us even after the baby is born, though "was ordered" is probably a more apt description of the process. We've both gotten quite used to having her around. She's gotten very used to the sound of her Words. She's even more obedient than my husband.

Besides, we'll need a nanny very soon.

Thanks for reading! If you are a fan of my work, consider buying me a coffee. Any contribution is insanely appreciated. 💖

#tidal story #tidal special #fem dom #male sub #fem sub #cheater cheater #brainwashing #hypnok1nk #hypnosis #hypnotic #mind conditioning #hypno fantasy #hypnosub #mind control #mind corruption #mindfuck #mind fuck

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my-drama-heart2406 · 1 year ago

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Lee Jae Wook at the PRADA FW24 Menswear show in Milan

#my man in MILAN!🤩🔥😭🥳💖

@leejaewooknation 😉✨

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loverboybrightsideghost · 2 months ago

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one of my favorite clark headcanons that i have (that is completely unsupported by canon) is that he's transgender by kryptonian standards. martha and jon kent raised him as a boy and as he grew up he never had any reason to doubt it at all, he was like yeah i'm a boy, makes sense. and then he gets to the fortress of solitude for the first time and it turns out how Gender works on krypton was just Different enough that clark doesn't really fit the kryptonian standards of whatever he was supposed to be. bonus points because this makes him feel like even more of an outsider as a kryptonian, even if he's the last one left.

#do i know what those kryptonian gender customs are? no and i kind of don't care to come up with them #just cuz that's not my favorite thing to do but someone else can if they like my idea #i just love the idea of 1) trans clark 2) clark discovering his heritage but also as he learns more about his heritage #realizing that because of how he was raised- and it was nobody's fault- even though it's the only explanation for why he's so different #from humans he still can't help but feel like he's not a real kryptonian either #brought to you by THIS STARTED AS A FUN HEADCANON FOR HIM TO BE TRANS IN A COOL ALIEN WAY #BUT TURNED OUT TO BE ACTUALLY PROJECTION OF SOME PERSONAL SHIT I HAVE ONLY CONSCIOUSLY THOUGHT ABOUT LIKE TWICE SO OOPS #bluebird.txt #superman #was watching superman 1978 and i don't have any real thoughts about it yet but i'm just rotating in my head #that jor-el said 'this is your home.' when describing krypton.#like. he's never been there. he can never go there. it doesn't exist anymore and he will be raised human.#he will be raised in a world that is so completely unlike his own and he will not grow up with as a kryptonian.#and yet jor-el says of krypton 'this is your home.'#like just give me a moment.#so interesting to me who considers who what. some guy in high school #told me i wasn't mexican because i din't recognize some candies my (cuban) teacher brought back when he visited mexico #he said i wasn't even latino #well first of all that guy was a first-class asshole seriously my kudos to him #for having such an impressive amount of hatred and unhappiness in his little soul #second of all. he didn't think i was latino. my own sister only calls me mexican when it's convenient for her #my parents are proud of their american children and in high school my mexican (as in grew up there) friend wa always proud #to call me a fellow mexican (or at least a chicana)#so i just find it so fascinating that in this movie jor-el says son you will never know your birthplace your parents's home firsthand #but it is your home.#my parents would never EVER call mexico my home i don't think they'd even call it THEIR home #i just. i'm thinking about it a lot.#high fives clark kent in child of immigrants and everything that means swag solidarity

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serenhob · 1 month ago

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Had a battle with a lift and finished this

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ratbastarddotfuck · 5 months ago

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Speaking over trans women lol

telling you (general) not to degender trans people you're criticising isn't an act of transmisogyny, anon.

#show me where i actually spoke over a trans woman #unless you think trans women as a class are above being disagreed with entirely?#which seems totally healthy and fine I'm sure #it's not my fault when people approach me amd try to argue about shit i wasn't even discussing #i said from the start im not here to defend him or his politics #but i do think if youre going to criticise someones art from a trans perspective you should acknowledge their transness!!#rather than actively try and make them appear 'less trans' so your criticism sticks better #it's disingenuous. do you not trust your own argument?#the system speaks #anon

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squishosaur · 1 year ago

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hey man. i'm just saying. why would we put inexperienced teenagers with over-inflated egos and obvious emotional issues into combat classes and make them claw their way to the top of their dorms and expect things to just run smoothly. who actually thought this

#the reason rsa doesn't have overblots is because they understand the joy and whimsy of life and friendship btw #LIKE. why is there no school counselor?? do you know how much time & resources & effort & TRAUMA we could have saved the students &#school from if ANYONE had reached out to riddle and was like 'hey are you alright i heard xyz and i wanted to let you know...' ESPECIALLY #since TREY LITERALLY TELLS US 'oh well here's the lowdown on her trauma this is Probably what is causing this'#or if someone sat down to tell leona 'hey! i'm rooting for you in ur magift(?) game! you're my fav player!!' AND LET HIM FEEL NOTICED #or if someone approached azul as an Equal to try to stop his plans. as a friend even. BEYOND A BUSINESS TRANSACTION #or if ANYBODY BUT ESPECIALLY KALIM was like 'jamil i think you should follow your passions and do something you enjoy today!!' or AT LEAST #let him know he was appreciated as a person NOT JUST FOR HIS WORK #'i know you're doing a lot today but i just wanted to thank you for how much Effort you put into this and..' etc etc etc #ERM.. IF ANYONE TREATED VIL LIKE A HUMAN BEING AND NOT A CELEBRITY??? or even 'hey i loved you in this film i was wondering if we could #do a play together or something..!!' AND LET HER TRY A TYPE OF CHARACTER SHE NEVER GOT THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE. and sing her praises.#if anyone reached out to idia beyond a 'hey the teacher said to come to class'/'get out of your bed and come to our housewarden meeting'#or even. IF ORTHO HIMSELF was like. 'you know it's not your fault... you didn't cause all of this. not really' OR SOMETHING #or if malleus ever got to experience a small firsthand loss AND WAS COMFORTED THROUGH IT. not just quick fix via magic. not replacing. just #GRIEVING SOMETHING??????? and wasn't feared by literally everyone #um. maybe the real twisted part is that all of this tragedy was easily preventable if we had a support system in place.#but idk. twst is a highschool. there's no support in real high school either. i'd probably overblot too if i could ajdjrjfinfdndjd #twst #chatter #LONG RAMBLE SORRY #yes overblots are essential to the plot. but also. do you know how frustrating it is watching the blot build up and sitting in silence.#I'M SORRY IK IF SOMETHING LIKE THIS WAS HAPPENING TO A GUY I JUST MET I WOULD PROBABLY NOT NOTICE.. but of it was my Friend or Housewarden..#I'D ASK BRO.... I'D ASK ... UGHHHHHUUUHHHH #not that anyone would notice if *I* was about to lose it tbh #speaks volumes about our society o think #OKAY NOW I'M DONE FOR REAL

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jankwritten · 1 year ago

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yall wanna know how fucked up my anxiety is about some shit

i scroll past a post that's about a topic i don't like. whatever, it's fine. i scroll past a video that's a topic i don't care about. that's normal.

i scroll past a video that's a topic i don't like or care about but the person presenting it is a person of color? i IMMEDIATELY feel immensely guilty and need to "compensate" by "proving" it wasn't because of race by also skipping other random posts, JUST IN CASE someone thinks I'm racist because I didn't want to watch a video on a topic I didn't like or care about, that happened to be presented by a person of color.

this just in on: the police in my brain are loud and i'm scared of them

#this is also because i grew up in a racist area and in that culture and my own ignorance i also Was Kinda Racist #but like in that way where you don't realize it's racism until you're out of it and now feel so ashamed that you forcefully block all #those memories just so you don't ever have to associate yourself with them ever again?#(mind you I was like. 15-16 and closeted and scared scared scared all the time so I acted like the Crowd and that was awful of me to do)#BUT NOW that i've grown and am learning and have taken classes on anthropology and all kinds of stuff I just feel like I notice my own shit #like TENFOLD now #it's my anxiety overthinking thing plus if anybody ever knows I could have done anything SLIGHTLY problematic the world will explode #plus my constant paranoia that someone is always watching me and just Knows that I'm Secretly a Bad Person (even though I don't think I am?#also I feel like I need to clarify that the kind of racism in my town wasn't like. klan shit. it was like very hidden racism?#it was like. kids casually doing black accents and making jokes with racist undertones. the kind of racism where race was always #the butt of the joke instead of an outright HATED thing. and I think that's why it was so hard to unlearn #it's like that thing where in order to stop wanting to kill yourself you have to stop joking about wanting to kill yourself #this has become a vent post accidentally i'm so sorry #this is just. one of my Major anxieties that engulfs me every day because of 1) anxiety 2) potential OCD 3) being a bad person in my past #this is another reason I fucking hate florida #because I just know if I had grown up in my home town in MI I would not have been raised in that environment #and it's my own fucking fault for falling into the crowd like that.#all this to say i traumatized myself and likely some people around me by being A Fucking Idiot when I was a kid #and now adult me is doing everything in their power to not ever be that person ever fucking again #tw vent post #tw racism #tw past racism #but im better now and I know my mistakes and I refuse to make them again #fuck florida for every fucking reason under the sun

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eggsistential-basket · 2 months ago

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guys i've let my ego get wrapped up in my gpa again but even worse than high school this time

#whiffed my final #but like kinda because I didn't give a shit #my gpa and my umbrella are the only things i get compliments for these days #gahhhh i wish i got my ass beat a little more freshman and sophomore year #like two of my classes this semester were so easy but i just couldn't find it in me to care enough to try #if they tank my gpa im gonna be pissed #and i know at this point my gpa is solid enough to take it but #im at a number i can never achieve again if i lose it and I'm less and less prepared to lose it with every semester i do well #somehow watching my other friends who aced high school and are struggling grades wise in college #has slowly cemented my gpa into my sense of self #this wasn't supposed to happen #tag rant #eggsistential speaks #ive whiffed other finals harder but the classes were harder #usually when i whiff finals i know I'm close enough to the top to take it #but with this class and my other class #i just don't know and it's entirely my fault for not trying #but they were taught so poorly i just couldn't find it in myself to care #complaining to my tumblr mutuals bc there's very few irl people i can complain about this to and not feel bad about it #like boo hoo my gpa grow up

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zemnarihah · 3 months ago

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art students are suuuuch babies dude i actually can't believe all the profs are so nice i'd be grabbing people by the shoulders and shaking them and yelling "JUST REMIX THE FUCKING COLOR WHY HAVE YOU TAKEN 3 PAINTING CLASSES AND YOU STILL WONT EVEN ATTEMPT TO MATCH A COLOR THAT YOU MIXED BEFORE WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THIS WHOLE TIME DO YOU HAVE LITERALLY NO DESIRE TO IMPROVE OR DO YOU HONESTLY THINK THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND THE PERSON WHO IS ALWAYS MAKING INCREIDBLE WORK IS ONLY OUTSIDE FACTORS YOU CLAIM TO HAVE NO CONTROL OVER RATHER THAN WORK AND A WILLINGNESS TO TRY CHALLENGING THINGS

#i actually was talking about this w one of my classmates during lunch today we were like yeah i feel like there's a lot of people who just #have tons of excuses all the time and don't really take it seriously and don't want to actually try hard #like in our classes we have noticed a lot of people like this this semester. and we have the little chat and then we go to class and the #whole time our other classmate is crying to me abt how her paints that she had mixed got too wet? in her stay wet palette bc i guess she put #too much water on the sponge? idk i use paper towels in a tupperware so idk what her struggle was.... 30 dollar palette btw....#anyway she was crying to me the whole time about how she couldn't possibly use those paints and i was like. cant you squeeze out more paint #to correct the consistency? and she was like no i can't remix them i don't remember what colors i used to get these specific colors #and i'm sitting there like. okayyyy. and then i was like can you not just use the watered down paints i think it actually is better bc you #can get really subtle blends and build it up slowly (the entire point of the assignment btw) and she was like no it's too watery even for #that (it wasn't) i encourage her to try anyway and she starts putting it down making no effort to blend in between layers and shows it to me #and it of course looks awful and she's like seeee it doesn't work. okay girl sure i guess just don't fucking do the assignment see if i care #like why are you complaining to me why are you not just MAKING AN ATTEMPT TO GET BETTER AT SOMETHING #what do you think school is FOR #and of course she had a headache. and of course she didn't sleep well. and one million other things. you're not gonna make it. you're gonna #apply for the bfa program and they're gonna deny you and you're gonna make up some reason it somehow wasn't your fault #god i hate to be mean i think it's valid to struggle and get frustrated OF COURSE i do it all the time but i never ever see her just like.#make something. without making up a million reasons why she could t do x better or get it done even CLOSE to on time #and there's like 6 of this girl. but she's the one who sits next to me so it just drives me extra!!! crazy!!!

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br1ghtestlight · 1 year ago

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this is LITERALLY how my teachers talked about me when i was in school and then they're surprised when i dropped out (none of them were actually. they didnt care lmao)

#“how can you be in seventh grade and not have your basic multiplication tables memorized”#GIRL YOU TELL ME????#tbf my entire year was stupid as hell couldnt name a single canadian province other than the one we live in when we were in high school #couldnt do multiplication or basic french sentences. saying this w/ love bcuz i also couldnt do those things <3 #you're angry at students for being so stupid but what are they supposed to do?? they can't magically go inside their own head #and fix whatever is wrong with their brain. you're angry bcuz they dont understand but why is that THEIR FAULT #i got a lot of this esp when I was in math class. teachers angry i didnt get what they were teaching after the 1000th time #as if it wasn't worse for me being unable to understand no matter what they did. at least they get to go home at the end of the day #knowing they're smarter and better than I am #txt

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losticaruss · 6 months ago

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one class should NOT be messing me up this bad

#no but seriously why did i immediately get stressed and anxious when i started typing in french #cause like.#at this point it feels like my fault for what happened in that profs class #but the thing is. i WAS trying. i was trying so hard and i wasn't rewarded for it while everyone else got a's #and i don't understand what i was missing #i don't know how i could do anything differently #it's not like he was teaching anything #i'm impressed i even retained some of what happened in that class #and i have to take another class with him cause i failed my only chance to pass it #and i seriously don't know how im going to get through that class #i can't even describe it to you guys how horrible it was #i mean. there's this scene in the bear. where carmys talking about how all chefs hate their jobs but do it anyways. and he says that #one time he accidentally set foods on fire in the restaurant #and he just stands there and thinks. if i don't do anything. those place will burn down. and take my anxiety with it. and then #he put out the fire #it's the sort of resigned admission of defeat #but all this to say. i'm scared for this class #i don't know how i'm going to go through with it

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lonesomecowboy · 1 year ago

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i went to all my classes today everyone clap and cheer

#feeling soooooo pathetic core #i did miss half of my first class but that actually wasn't my fault the bus just came really late and it's s really short class #anyways haha im drowning scoob #em.txt

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starpros-sunshine · 1 year ago

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If I loved Wataei less I might be able to talk about them more....

#You know what I also like. Jane Austens Pride and Prejudice (knows that's a quote from Emma)#Gosh I really need to read Emma #Been meaning to but I've just been chipping away at mansfield park because it is so long #and personally I find it rather tedious to read because...Well let's just say I'm not very partial to people marrying their cousins #I am aware it was not strange in ye olden days but it's one of those modern biases I can't really shake off #but I can live with it it's just something that makes me do a little displeased frown because honestly #that's the best match the poor girl could've gotten in that book there were no better options at least the guy wasn't a complete moron #as far as I can gage at least #but I guess that's my fault for starting with Pride and Prejudice I found my Austen otp in Elizabeth and Darcy I just think they're really #really neat #I originally got into Jane Austen because I have a classmate or well I guess friend would be a fitting term too although we don't really #talk outside of a school setting or outside of the group but I don't really talk to anyone outside of the group or school anyways so #might as well just call her a friend #but yes she is very into Jane Austen she's such an anglophile in the best way possible it's very endearing she can tell you a lot about tea #and such #but back to topic I got into the books because she liked them and we share an english class where we're the only ones from our little bubbl #so naturally that sparks conversation and what to talk about when two people who are into english novels if not english novels #I got her to read Sherlock Holmes and she still like Agatha Christie better #but I was very happy about that because I really like Sherlock Holmes #she's much more patient than some of my other friends if that's the right word so that makes talking easier #it's not fun when you can tell your conversation partner doesn't really care #so now I'm still trying to get through all the Auste novels I'm doing a terribly poor job at it #been at it since January how many have I managed to finish? two.#I'm listening to the audiobooks and listening to engllish can be very tiring and the lady that narrates has a very nice voice so sometimes #I fall asleep and lose the point where I was so then I have to start the entire chapter again and it's a whole thing really #but where were we ah yes Wataei #I love them I really do it's such a shame I wish I could articulate it and put it into words #but instead I have this feelings soup #oh for shame what a horrible horrible world to live in #I missed rambling in my tags I think if I'm too scared to post something I'll just put it aaaaaalll in my tags again

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thots-n-prayers-2137 · 2 months ago

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wow. really nice to see someone react to my tags like this

breakup songs are so lame now sorry i feel like every charting breakup song you hear these days is like waah you left me but whatever you sucked anyway and im way too hot for you and too cool. why cant anyone be miserable anymore. no more im killing myself because you left music on the radios?!?!

#look. i actually dont hate good luck babe #and i do ultimately believe it both is intended to be and is about comphet and denying yourself-#the better option for the sake of more acceptable yet less pleasant one and self-denial #+ dealing with a relationship with someone who's emotionally immature and insecure and incapable of giving the affection needed #it's just that i also believe its written with an aura of smugness that unintentionally makes the persona sound full of herself #believing she's the superior option for her partner no matter what and that all she's going through is completely unjustified #it's kind of like listening to your friend talking about their break-up but kind of seeing that despite trying to paint yourself in the best #light possible you end up kind of seeing what ended that relationship and it wasn't just the ex' fault #but again: i'm fully aware this is not the intended reading nor what the song is about #but rather my personal mild distaste regarding that song. i dont hate it; far from it; i listen to it regularly #also i'm not american. my english classes involved being told when to use do and when to use doing for years straight #and by the time of graduation half the class wouldnt be able to tell the difference still #english wasnt my literature class <3

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malachitezmeyka · 2 months ago

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I think That Woman is genuinely trying to kill me

#you know what she said to me today?#'well. since you suck at writing essays and I'm sure you don't want to write a test. how about a creative assignment?#remember that project idea you suggested? do that. right now. sit and rewrite a chapter of War and Peace in your reimagining'#and like... first of all. bold of you to assume I remember any particular chapter well enough to rewrite it #even all separate events mashed together. because that's what happens when YOU MAKE ME READ 1200 PAGES IN THE SPAN OF THREE WEEKS #but okay. fine. I was allowed to look up references. maybe any other person could have managed something #but second of all. my only reference for the vibe I'm supposed to be going for is ONE BOOK THAT I READ TWO DAYS AGO #PLUS I HAVE ZERO KNOWLEDGE OF THE ACTUAL HISTORICAL EVENTS BECAUSE WE SKIPPED OVER IT IN CLASS #AND THIRD OF ALL. THE WORST THING. IS THAT I CAN'T JUST SIT DOWN AND WRITE #NOT WITHOUT PREPARATION. NOT WITHOUT AT LEAST A VAGUE IDEA OF WHAT I'M GOING FOR #AND NO. 'IMAGINE NATASHA ROSTOVA AS A KOMSOMOLKA' ISN'T AN IDEA. IT'S SOMETHING I COULD DRAW WITH REFERENCE PICTURES #BUT NOT WRITE. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT KIDS DID IN THE KOMSOMOL. THE VLKSM WAS DISBANDED BEFORE MY MOM COULD BE A PART OF IT #and I know it's stupid. I know I shouldn't be upset over not being able to do something I wasn't prepared for #and it's fine!! I was allowed to take it home!! I can come up with something in the privacy of my apartment #where That Woman won't be hanging over me. judging my every move #it's fine. it's literally fine #I know it is. so why am I so damn upset??#I guess.. failing at writing has become such a huge trigger for me that even when it comes to tasks absolutely nobody–#could manage without prior preparation... I just break down if I fail #it took everything in me not to break down crying in front of her. even though I really really wanted to #because first of all I do not trust her at all and don't want to be vulnerable in front of her #and second of all. how could I possibly explain 'oh yeah failing at writing makes me extremely suicidal bc I'm fucked in the head'#'and yet I won't quit because I'm s fucking masochist who likes being miserable apparently'#and I was doing so well writing wise before this... NSND is almost 16k words long and I didn't have a fit over it once #I managed over 8000 words over the weekend translating Tomorrow was the War and actually ENJOYED doing it #I don't enjoy writing. it was.. almost thrilling. to like the process #now I don't want to do anything at all #what's the point if I can't even handle a simple school assignment?#it's not her fault I'm a fucking crybaby who can't indulge in a hobby without becoming hysterical #I should've quit writing after AIDIB like I wanted to. maybe then none of this would've happened. maybe then I wouldn't feel like such a POS

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the-mehlwurm · 6 months ago

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I just used the perfume I used in 10th grade (because the perfume I normally use is empty and I don't want to buy a new one until this one's empty) and omg. It smells like being forgotten by your friends at the train station in hamburg after being pushed down the stairs and having a panicattack on the train while accidentally driving in the wrong direction and then getting screamed at by those friends in front of the whole class because you didn't see them waiting for you on the train station you got out because you weren't wearing your glasses

#Ok but real talk #That situation fucked with my head so hard #But that was luckily the second to last day on that class trip #And it wasn't all bad #Because someone was really kind and sweet to me that day and they spent their whole day being by my side and stuff #Btw. That was the first and only time those friends saw me crying lmao #I still like the perfume tho #It isn't its fault

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