thots-n-prayers-2137

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i love the part of crime and punishment where raskolnikov is suffering from guilt-induced fever for several reasons but mainly because it occasionally plays out like a black comedy. he is lying there delirious wallowing in psychological hell after having committed a brutal axe murder meanwhile his friends are sitting around constantly going "did you guys hear about the axe murder? yeah crazy shit right"

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I know she was a bank teller or something and this is just a reminder that there are people out there in the world of radiant beauty you only see for a moment and, whether or not you want them to, they work their ways into your dreams. And then your wife writes a song about them. And she makes an absolute masterpiece of jealousy and definite subtle lust.

And no matter what you do you will never live it down.

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applying for internships and i think the job market may be irreparable

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This is a good article

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#Flintstones #meme

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I think my favorite jokes are the ones that weren’t even all that funny until I was an adult, and now they’re fucking hilarious. I’m not even talking about the dirty jokes. I’m talking about in Finding Nemo where the sharks are having fucking AA for fish eating. Remember that shit? “I am a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself.” Who ever thought of that? That was brilliant. Or what about that time in Shrek 2 where Shrek and Donkey infiltrate the castle pretending to be union workers? Little me didn’t give a shit about unions but big me is remembering Shrek going “It’s okay buddy, we’re from the union” and the desk worker secretively “we don’t even have dental,” and Shrek just shakes his head and looks at Donkey like he can’t believe this shit and goes, “They don’t even have dental.” What the fuck. I’m dying of laughter. Who comes up with this shit.

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Accidentally zoomed out on my maps app when looking for a restaurant and it gave me results for “lunch” in all of north america lol

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dear universe give me ten billion dollars and infinite free time and indestructible hands so i can do every hobby ever

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@violexides

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Every penis is small when compared to the grand size of the observable universe and honestly I think that's pretty beautiful

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i'm sorry but language-wise we gotta start moving things along. English has been around for 15 centuries and still barely scrapes a couple hundred irregular verbs. for starters i propose the past form of "slice" should be "sloce"

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Can we talk about how in zombie shows/movies/books they always find a veterinarian and not a surgeon? Are veterinarians deemed more likely to survive the apocalypse?