#but tbh i guess all that just makes me look a little unstable

[ihavebeesinmybrain]

nothing is more terrifying to me than the idea of somehow ending up in one of those youtube videos where someone gets to go through your phone

[tariah23]

Like???

Again, the fact that Naoya has fans 🗣️🗣️🗣️

[hxhhasmysoul]

HOT TAKE : I dont understand why Chrollo is so damn popular. He is so boring to me. So yes, they have a fucked up childhood, yes he cares about his members, and yes he has identity crisis or something but still, he is so freaking boring. Maybe I just dont understand how he is one of the most complex villains to ever exist and how he is so deep etc etc.

Same with kurapika. I dont understand why its an unpopular opinion that he is a bad friend when it is evidently shown in the manga . Also his situation is very black and white. Its boring. Nothing much changed from him tbh.

Sorry it took me so long to answer your ask but you came to the right blog with these questions, you’ll find my understanding and support.

I also don’t get Chrollo’s popularity at all. Especially prior to the recent chapters.

I agree with you that he’s boring. His whole persona feels very fake, very rehearsed, like he practised edginess in front of the mirror. His words to Kurapika that other Spiders won’t try to save him felt to me so fake, especially how everything in that conversation was him trying to yank Kurapika’s chain (sorry for a bad pun XD). 

Even his mourning of Uvo feels like a performance. Like sure, I’m not denying he’s sad at that moment but he’s still very much in control of himself and performs the requiem. Even gets himself a captive audience to take a little edge off how shallow and silly his behaviour is. We see him truly affected after Hisoka kills Shalnark and Korotopi. After Chrollo fails to kill Hisoka despite pulling every dirty trick he could and his friends lose their lives as a direct result because he left them powerless. Before that we don’t even see him grieve Pakunoda. 

It all makes sense of course. Chrollo is a theatre kid as we learned recently. He really just took that theatre shit and made it his personality.

And that's boring because he’s a bad actor. He can trick a sheltered teenager, he can provoke an already unstable victim of his crimes. His little cult worships him. But people who look at him from the outside and have life experience like Zeno instantly see through him. 

Even Killua comments on how Chrollo just produces words with his mouth and they mean nothing. It’s such an amazing fourth wall break because it’s Togashi literally pointing at Chrollo and telling the audience this man is full of nothing but hot air. The way Chrollo speaks often feels like he read some deep sounding line in a book and he’s repeating it to wow the audience.

It is all very cult leader charm, you need to be primed for it to affect you properly. For me it’s boring and grating at times. Especially when we see him contrasted with almost all the other characters in the York New arc. We see the vivid connections the spiders have among them, how their levels of connection differ, how they have different attitudes to one another. It’s full of life and personality. And Chrollo there above them, always remaining above the fray, always performing his persona… he’s just such a nothing burger compared to that. 

Because there’s no pizzazz in his performance, no sprezzatura. It’s just fakedeep edgy boi acting like a throwaway cult leader while performatively denying he’s one… 

Chrollo’s kinda cutesy backstory doesn’t really make me care more about him. It just kind of highlights how fake he feels as an adult.

Why do fans like him? My uncharitable and biased guess is that they consider him hot and they like the edgy bad boi performance and just pour their desires of what they want Chrollo to be into that that vacuous husk.

As to Kurapika. Yeah, Kurapika is a bad friend and I have written it down here, I don’t have much to add to it.

Apart from that Togashi muddying the waters on the Kurta genocide makes things worse. It makes his whole narrative treatment of the genocide topic even worse than it’s been so far.

It may turn out that the Kurta did something horrible. And then the Phantom Troupe fans will use that as an excuse to whitewash the Spiders, even if one horrible act by a member or members of a group will never justify a genocide because nothing ever will. 

Even if it turns out that the Kurta did nothing to horrible, the seed of doubt is already there and the door to speculation whether their genocide was justified has been opened. 

And it also allows Phantom Troupe fans to skirt all the other murder that their favs have committed.

[bluedeedeedoop]

My Thoughts on Tales of the Empire; mostly Barriss (spoilers ahead!)

Ah hello all, i have had some days or so to think since watching the show and to say it has completely wiped me of my life force would be... pretty accurate tbh. BUT I HAVE FINALLY DECIDED TO POST MY THOUGHTS. will this cover my entire though process that im sTill working through? PROBABLY NOT! my thoughts are very unorganized and very unstable! ANYWAAAAYS.

Now I just gotta say overall, the show itself definitely passed the test. To be completely honest, i wasn't really paying attention to the Morgan parts as i was the Barriss parts, since it was literally what I was looking forward to this entire time.

Though I will say that the first Morgan episode was pretty neat! it was crazy seeing that perspective of the Nightsisters again and god did they make Grievous fucking terrifying. Honestly, bravo to them, it was amazing. I diiiiid end up just.. kinda spacing out the rest of it tho unfortunately cuz i just wanted to see barriss..

Visuals 10000/10. stunning, amazing, phenomenal, gahdamn. the animation was so smooth and fluid and uGHH it was amazing throughout the entire show. Acting amazing as always. BUT GOD I CANT GET OVER HOW AMAZING THE ANIMATION WAS.

NOW.

In my opinion, they got her character pretty on the dot. I am SO glad they did. I was rlly rlly worried they were totally butcher her character and make her unrecognizable to all of us but oml they didn't completely disappoint us, she has her morals, SHES STILL A HEALER! Im so happy from that.

Now although i did enjoy it, i do have my own little complaints.

Now okay one i noticed since the trailer and has REALLY been bugging me; where are her hand tattoos??? idk i guess i just wasn't expecting them to just be gone?? they couldn't have just forgotten them.. right? I dunno, but unless someone has a genuine answer for that, imma just keep drawing them on her in the future.

??????

Alright another thing i've been seeing ppl post about is how come she looked so old at the end? I am also confused on that and i've seen multiple theories. She should only be like 30-35 max right?? Because i'm assuming the last episode took place a the time in Rebels where the inquisitors were after the force sensitive children, and Ahsoka was around that age a the time, so why is Barriss any different?

I suppose the one i think makes the most sense is the force healing? I guess it could take a toll on her over the years causing her to look more aged, but still, i'd really prefer an explanation. Also what happened to her hair coverings?? Is that not her culture?? I dunno, again, i really need an explanation. I suppose that maybe her perspective has changed since trying to come to terms with her new life, and her ditching the coverings is a way to free herself from her past? Honestly i have no clue but i just need a lot of things answered.

That's mostly my complaints on it! I just felt things weren't explained enough but to be fair, they only gave her like 3 15-ish min episodes?? I really think they got some explaining to do. Which brings me to my next points.

I'm like... 98% sure that the "old friend" is Ahsoka that she was talking about. Who else would it be?? Like cmon. And if it is Ahsoka, why did we not get to see anything about the moment of confrontation? or at least more of a mention? I guess they wouldn't rlly wanna rush that scene, and tbh, im glad they didn't. It's not some "we talk for 5 min and everything is fine" type of situation. it'll take time. time to rebuild that trust. time to discuss. YEAH. I've heard many people state how it would be more likely and realistic to see a novelization of that and i agree. I would want it to take time, showing the build of the relationship over time, going on further into the story as we watch their strong bond mend from the trauma it's faced. I'm not saying this as a crazed Barrissoka shipper, i mean it that I would genuinely want to see how that confrontation is handled, as do many others and not just as a ship!! It's been a decade! the fans wanna know!

And my last point.

I.believe.Barriss.is.alive.

The more i rewatch it, the more i believe it. the first time around i had my doubts, but something tells me they are NOT done with her character. At least before the stabbing scene anyway. There's too much stuff that's left unanswered for it to just end that way! I dunno man, but Lyn's "i'm going to get you out of here" sounded way too determined for a "im going to move your body out of here" type of thing yk? maybe she could sense she was still alive, just barely hanging in there? I don't think they are done with Barriss Offee, and I wont think so unless we see her corpse being fucking BURIED. Not to mention the UNGODLY amount of parallels of that scene along with them exiting the cave. I've already seen so many point it out. Post-Vader and Ahsoka fight on Malachor?? Back when we all thought Ahsoka may or may not be dead?? sounds familiar hello?? Also a parallel from earlier in the show itself when Barriss saves that unnamed jedi! she HEALS them when they were going to be left there. Something tells me the same fate may happen to Barriss. Idk call me crazy but i will say it again, i don't think they are done with her story.

Thank you for reading my very unorganized thoughts! this has taken me longer to write than expected because i did not predict this to make me have to step away from making SEVERAL times- but yeah! lmk what yall think! and yes you can be expecting some art here and there! i know i've been slacking- Also lmk if u want me to post my crazed Barrissoka thoughts! because aHa i have them. i have them a lot. send help.

ALSO KEVIN KINER I GOT MY EYE ON YOU. BRO NEEDS TO RELEASE THE SOUNDTRACK BEFORE I DIE.

[mrmoonytoonie]

Was there ever a time that Ben scared Samuel? If Ben did something or said something that may have startled him? If so, did it make Samuel concerned for Ben's wellbeing in any way?

Oh lord where to start lol I guess I can give a big one, which is actually tied to the Ben picture where he is at the bar by himself. Now this will be long and I'll like to note that Samuel is always concerned about Ben's well-being but I think maybe I should explain Ben's anger a little more.

Tigger Warning just in case

So Ben can and will get mad to the point he will destroy anything in sight, due to his past Ben can't handle his anger properly and is unstable when lashing out. Samuel had to stand back and watch in fear and sadness as Ben hurts himself while destroying his whole office, shattering and breaking everything. Now I'll like to note that what I'm about to inform I don't agree with Ben's actions at all. What led to this moment was a bad week and on that day his men lost a whole shipment of drugs which is expensive and what made him fly off the handle. When Samuel was finally trying to calm Ben down when he thought he was calm enough Ben lashed out and accidentally took his anger out on Samuel, verbally abusing him (this is the first and last time Ben has ever spoken to Samuel in that way). Ben was snarling and shouting at him about how he was pathetic and stupid, how he was worthless and nothing but a cry baby and that he can't stand how annoying Samuel is. Samuel was extremely scared and hurt but in anger he slapped Ben yelled at him, he threw his wedding ring at Ben and when he realized what he did he ran out of the mansion in fear and hurt, disappearing completely for 5 months despite Ben having everyone desperately look for him.

Sorry this is so long, this was the only good example I had for this question tbh. I would like to note Ben is extremely remorseful for what he said to Samuel and didn't mean a word he said but he took accountability and made it up to Samuel, trust me Ben did not get off the hook so easily.

[play-rough]

8, 21, 22, & 25 for Dazai and Chuuya 🥹💕

🩵❤️‍🔥

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

Dazai- god i feel like I’m so picky about Dazai characterizations and it’s so hard to describe sometimes I’ll just be like NO THATS WRONG‼️ but I guess one thing is when Dazai mentoring ryunosuke is just boiled down to a black and white situation where Dazai was soooo abusive to poor ryu (and i feel like this is a disservice to akutagawas character too), but Iike you have a child raised in a strict mafia environment and then you give that unstable child control over *another child* it’s not gonna go well, and i don’t personally blame either of the children in that scenario 🙄 idk BSD just has a lot of complex situations and I feel like they’re not always handled as such 😌🩵 Wtf this morally grey character is making problematic choices??? Cancel him🚫

Chuuya- when he’s just angry shouty guy who yells and shouts, sometimes I feel like I’m looking at a bad bakugo parody 😭

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

Ummm for Dazai i like making him break down and cry and forcing him to admit he needs help or attention 🥺👉👈 or sick or just any kind of general vulnerability, and flip side for Chuuya, I love forcing him to admit he’s worried about Dazai or cares about him. My favorite part of Chuuya’s character is that he’s a genuinely nice person, Dazai is just so annoying and pushes his buttons, so I love showing off Chuuya’s softer side and highlighting his protective and caring nature. That scene where chuuya watches Dazai get slammed into a tree by lovecraft x1000000❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

For both of them like I said above im so picky and if you make them one dimensional or even if the vibes are bad I’ll just be like NO THATS WRONG‼️ and close the fic

Something i *like* is pretty much my same answer for 21 ajdhhfhdjs I really only write about what I like reading about so I’m a sucker for vulnerable Dazai and sappy Chuuya BUT for a more specific, ridiculous, self indulgent answer i like when Dazai is written regressed 🥹🩵 or even if he’s baby, just in energy 🥺🩵 Dazai is baby and should be written as such

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

First impressions of Dazai was i don’t even remember him, I read the first bsd book at the library when I was in middle/high school (don’t remember exactly when) and was like eh. Boring. I think it didn’t help that they didn’t have all the books so it was like volume one, three, five, prime numbers only. I think I read soul eater instead lmao. Flash forward to college I had seen bsd characters and i liked the designs, and i had figured chuuya would be my favorite bc he kinda reminded me a bit of Karkat from homestuck (a dear fave of mine at one point) in that angry but actually sweet and kindhearted kinda way.

I was still eh whatever about Dazai, which is crazy because I’ve seen him compared to both Gojo and Reigen in the silly mentor who lost the kids he’s custody of kinda way, and those two are some more faves of mine. Tbh i didn’t solidify him as my fave until we learned of his tragic past because my OTHER favorite kind of character is a rude little bastard, and i was shown the light. Dazai Osamu has the range. He’s like a two for one, which I’m pretty sure he’s a Gemini??? I’m not gonna google and confirm just trust me i think he’s a Gemini ♊️

Impressions now obviously Dazai is my babygirl, my soaking wet cat, my poor pathetic meow meow who has both never done anything wrong and also committed so many war crimes. Chuuya I knew i would like him and I do lmao, close second from Dazai. I think Dazai is pretty much my ultimate fave character of all time…

[2faun2furious]

Ive been on this site actually for a decade but I can't engage with the superior/world-weary longterm tumblr user posts cuz Idk if it counts like that fr, because to be honest with you the first couple years were spent mostly looking at coquette and my little pony roleplay accounts. Um and ask blogs. If anybody remembers those. My dream was to be a ask blogger as my career as in, have a very popular ask blog for a my little pony character/au/oc but also be an artist that took commissions for art and/or writing and had other sideblogs/personal accounts to show other dimensions of their art. This is how it was done at the time and I do maintain that had this lasted even one or two years longer (Tbh I needed to at least you know. Finish middle school first.) this would have actually been my career. However this setup has kind of died and though there are very adjacent careers/pathways to do this now, I'm not corporate enough for any of them. This is true even for TikTok, it had an authentic moment before it became more corporate. Though its moment was shorter lived than other ones because of the rapidly advancing pace of everything.

Idk there's a certain type of algorithm I'm naturally good at, a certain kind that has workarounds that I can leverage to do okay in, and algorithms that just don't work for me... But the ones that don't work for me are where the big bucks are (YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, etc..).. sites where no matter what, new content is pushed to the top / it is "live" in some way work well for me, I think the colours and themes in my art tend to be eye-grabbing and my writing usually has interesting themes and decent descriptions, I've been able to get followings/interactions pretty quickly with these sorts of algorithms. Or in-betweens are sites where there are tags and the user is being "fed" content but there are other avenues like user-created contests or challenges and stuff where it becomes almost live because it creates an audience where people are regularly going through specific tags and whatnot...

It's weird because I do consider social media such a vice and yet it has also like throughout high school til now on and off been such a way of accessing income often in way better amounts whether its through getting commissions or finding freelance gigs than I am able to access at all cause yall know I hate talking like this but it is real world shit like being a black AND visibly lgbt person I am talking on THAT intersection rn especially without specialized higher education (yet) affects employment... & it is far easier for me to manage because I can control my own schedules and routines

So like it really is a thing of like I would make more money and be less stressed so it is a no-brainer going back to social media/freelance but even though I have consistently been successful at it when I keep in mind what works for me and what doesn't I have such a hesitation about it because I've really internalized that it's less secure than having an official job & I also just kind of have I wont lie a bit of an abstract distaste for it that is kind of inexplicable & I should probably pin down where exactly it comes from/what it is. But I guess I've actually really never had that issue with it being unstable either it's sort of as simple as don't spend like an asshole just cause u just secured a big project or sponsorrship just in case cause u still dont necessarily know when ur next commission will come or if people will be engaging with ur tipping/kofi or how steady ur patreon subscribers are

[kihaku-gato]

Tell me all of your oc's favorite plants or I'm shooting a hostage

Okay, that’s a good but hefty one, cause I do have flowers I attach to my OCs as their “symbolic flower” (idr why I started doing that but I’m pretty sure it was a story or anime that set me on that trend) however that is not the same as what their favourite flower/plant may be. I’m not sure I’ll have enough kinds of Hoepian plant/flower for this (yes I know I could go for irl plants/flowers but we’re gonna keep with the canon anyways to make things interesting) so let’s go (with IMAGES LINKED where able to give visual aids to names- rather than crop/paste those images onto here cause that'd would be a terrifying ton of images to work through) WALL OF TEXT BEGIN-

Terra is a woman of utility like her mother Laurel, so it would not surprise me if she were to have a similar preference for a plant that has a lot of use in her field of work in Mana Tech. Soul Daisies would not be a stretch since she’d probably use them often as the Base for a lot of magic crafts, but I don’t think they’d be her favourite of all time plant. Kabakin Pumpkins would not be an impossible choice either, since she grows quite fascinated by the range of their magical properties they are capable of when she learns of them. Hoepian Tiger Lily I think she likes most, some of it is cause she’d use it a lot to help fuel her fire magic reserves that she uses in combat, but I also think she likes how they look being orange/red reminiscent of the colour of her scales and clothes. If not using them for work or being busy with work, I could imagine her stroking their petals and feeling the bumps of the spots and stripes that mark said petals.

Kayla despite Soul Daisies being her floral symbol she probably would not really like Soul Daisies tbh. Like she’d find them pretty, but the problem would be if she were the interact with them. The fact they are so sensitive to outside magical sources that they would likely distort into a shadowy/crackling mess with her presence would just unsettle her a ton. It’d be the closest thing to a mirror of how unstable her magic is (at least in the earlier point of The Story). I think her favourite plant would have to be a flower/plant that’s pretty and/or cute. So going by current roster of created plants I guess either the tiny little Icedrop, or the Kissumeria tree (being they are so beautiful and the romantic associations attached to them).

Demauria (ah shit only good pic of her is a chibi one) is tricky, cause her symbolic flower (At least I think I chose it as such, it’s been a long time) used to be the Gator Jaws, but even as a symbol it doesn't really feel quite right for Dema, much less being one she even likes, though I think she’d still find them kind of cool being a light-up carnivorous plant. My brain could argue on this, would her favourite be a type of flower/plant she remembers from her childhood or it be something more to her stylistic preferences? If the latter then I would imagine she'd be into something hardcore or badass, like with thorns or venom/poison, like something out of a Gothic Garden, which really narrows down the choices of what Hoepian plant would be her fav as I do not have anything in the roster for thorny or poisonous plants yet save for one, the Demon Rose, which would be a bit too horrifying even for her due to how disturbing they can be to someone unfamiliar with them. I’ll need to expand more on those kind of plant I suppose. If it was a plant that she recalls from her childhood though, it’d be either the Snowcandle or the Glasstree (basically a tree often grown as a living Greenhouse), since both were keystone species to any form of Life she'd get to see outside the caves of the cold icy south, a window of warmth and beauty.

For Riivar either the Kissumeria tree or the Memberance Tree (her symbolic flower). Kissumeria trees can be an aphrodisiac just as much as they can be a romantic symbol, she likely would love the idea of having something to add on top to a fun time. Memberance Tree would be because it has similar associations to Earth’s Forget-me-nots; for remembering a past love, which in Riivar’s case would be her first love/crush. I’ve even drawn her with a tattoo that has Memberance Tree flowers on it so it would not be a stretch if it was her favourite.

Harriet I would try to think of something more creative rather than defaulting to her symbolic flower, but even then I still think her favourite would be the Raftflower (which I’ve called the Water Sunflower before, I’m just trying another name for it. It’s like a blend of Kelp and Sunflower, where the Flowerhead floats on the ocean surface. I am surprised I haven't posted any pictures of it yet but I think it was cause I was unsatisfied with my illustration). She likes the rich underwater forests they make, and their huge floating flower/seedheads are a bonus. She probably remembers sitting on top of a floating seedhead and popping the seeds into her mouth as a snack when she was little.

Anne- If just going by her experiences I’d say either her symbolic flower the Volcanic Protea (as it says on the tin; a Protea that grows along active volcanic areas) cause it’d be a flower that thrive in the volcanic village she was born in or the Sand Pawpaw (xeric adapted pawpaw) cause it was a rich tasting fruit she got to enjoy in her travels across the Heins Desert as a tween. Could imagine she’d know some really tasty recipes for the fruit. I really need to expand on my arid/volcanic flora for Hoep tbh.

Lily- Should I even account for Lily considering how little I’ve ended up fleshing her out as an OC? Screw it we’re doing it anyways; First that comes to mind would be the Bananachoke. Cause its tasty sure but also cause of its associations as one of the oldest documented domestic plant on Hoep, it would tickle her archeological/historical obsessed brain.

Laurel- due to the magical versatility Soul Daisies those would be her favourite, it’s not even a contest. She grows fields of the stuff.

Abbey- I’ll be honest I had to talk to a friend on her to try to grasp what I’m even going for her personality/vibe to help me try to get an inkling of what kind of plants/flowers she’d like. She is another character that reminds me that I need more kinds of plants on Hoep. CLOSE ENOUGH choices would be either the Chocolate Arum (which would be an amusing irony since she is pretty health-conscious with her food so it’d be funny for her to enjoy the one plant with chocolate-tasting necatar) or the Spiral Rily- which I apparently do NOT have any images of online, and not even found in my image folders??? A Crime! Here you go- Spiral Rilies straight from the dusty Hoepian Botany word doc-

Beneri it’d be Gator Jaws I think. She probably has a love/hate relationship with them cause on the one hand a plant that can help light the way in the dark but on the other hand CAN THEY PLEASE NOT MAKE THAT GROWLING NOISE THAT’S SCARY QAQ

Venelle’s is likely the Demon Rose, specifically her own Demon Rose. She hated it when she first got it but it’s (no pun intended) grown on her a bit since, and the fact it’s adapted to her mercenary lifestyle has only helped on that grown bond. Is that a cop out answer? Probably but let’s be real Venelle probably does not otherwise really think too hard about plants outside of nourishment in her travels and therefor a means to an end.

Sango (sorry, our beefcake doesn't have her art up yet!)… that’s hard as I feel like I need more coastal/islandic/oceanic flora to even be able to give her a selection. Coral is not a plant, doesn’t count. Well if we were to find a plant she’d like, it’d likely be something strong and sturdy if not endurant to the strength of the ocean waves. Maybe some kind of mangrove or something. I don’t think the mangroves that’d make a floating city would be one of them though.

Saka- yes we’re including the big vague antagonist that no one even directly encounters or hears about. Roses. No not the Demon Rose (though she is the reason those exists). Earth Roses. She probably remembers them from when she was back on earth so long ago before she settled on Hoep with the other humans. Shame they don’t exist on Hoep, Demon Roses are as close as it gets, and being Demon Roses don’t seem to like her, that’s just salt on an open wound.

Gertrude- despite being a plant herself (a chimera of three plants in a robotic shell) and it’d be funny to say her favourite plant is herself as a Grand Example of Self Love, I feel like her fav would be a plant other than herself that would awestrike her. Perhaps a gigantic clonal array of trees that spread out their branches into the vacuum of space. I am not as confident with the sci fi space flora than I am with the Seed World fantasy flora of Hoep, so can't really give a name for such a plant or much else yet. I am a long way from making spec-space flora.

A lot of other OCs aren’t from a setting where there are fictional plants, or they are gijinkas of plants themselves, so I can’t really account for them here, but that still covers a big net of OCs.

[haleigh-sloth]

CONTINUED:

On the surface Rin wants someone to challenge him and make him better (so he can beat his brother), on a deeper level I think he's searching for someone to help him let go of the pain his brother inflicted on him. I think this because this moment is all too similar to Bachira's overcoming his own monster:

For Bachira, Isagi overcoming Bachira's "monster" was the moment Bachira realized that it's okay to want Isagi in his life, just as long as he isn't making Isagi his reason for existing.

Rin’s version:

I do think on some level this moment was good for Rin, in a way. Isagi broke him out of the vision of his brother's cruel words by continuing to push and push and push Rin during the match, and in that moment Rin really needed that. But rather than coming to a realization that sets him free from Isagi's influence like how Bachira did, he still puts all his eggs in Isagi's basket as his rival.

The problem with Rin continuing to rely on Isagi's existence is that Rin's issues aren't truly anything to do with Isagi, and his reason for putting his all into soccer isn't truly anything to do with Isagi. Everything Rin has going on inside himself goes back to his brother, and Isagi currently is just a placeholder so Rin can cope with the overwhelming pain his brother is continuing to inflict on him even in his absence.

But Isagi being who he is and the way he is, I think he eventually will completely break through Rin's walls. Rin currently can't stand the idea of people catching up to him and playing alongside him. That very idea triggered him so bad during the U20 arc and sent him on a downward spiral that sent him to the state he's in in this current arc, because he hasn't had someone play alongside him since his brother.

The manga isn't looking for a hero to bring out everyone's good side. The manga has actually called on most characters to figure out what THEY need to do about themselves in order to press forward, about their own egos and how to balance putting their ego first while remembering that soccer is indeed played by 11 people at once. Isagi isn't completely the "bring the best out of everyone around me" type of protagonist. In fact (through no fault of his own) he's brought out the absolute worst in some people, but by bringing those sides of them out they can finally face their problems and move forward. So I guess in a way he inadvertently brings out the best in everyone around him, but not in the any type of talk-no-jutsu way.

Bachira being the sweet little angel he is set the precedent for what Rin (and probably Kaiser tbh) needs to do to figure out how to help himself. In Rin's case he still has his brother to deal with, and I do think his story with his brother is more complex than what we are seeing because we are only seeing Rin's side of things right now. I think it would only make sense that we'd eventually get Sae's, and I think it'll put a new spin on what's going on.

To tie it all together--Isagi is the heart of Blue Lock by just existing lol. He makes people worse, he makes people better, he makes himself worse and better. He does it all. And the heart of the story is the relationships involving his presence, especially the ones where they attribute all of their problems to him when he's just some guy.

On a serious note though--he's at the center of all of it and in true main character fashion he'll make everyone pull through one way or another.

But anyway--come read Blue Lock, we have emotionally stable people, emotionally unstable people, solid relationships, rocky relationships, divorce arcs, sibling drama, and parent trauma. We have it all.

The heart of Blue Lock:

I'm gonna go on a long ass rant about Isagi, Bachira, and Rin. The whole idea of being "the heart of Blue Lock" was tossed around a couple of times in passing, but in the U20 match the title was given to Isagi. Isagi is the protag and has to be at the center of the story and the center of everything, so this title is appropriate in that obvious sense. But also Isagi is absolutely the heart of a lot of other characters' developments, both positive and negative. Isagi is definitely the heart of Blue Lock, the team. But as far as who the heart of the story as a whole is, it's Isagi, Bachira, and Rin. The relationship between these three, or rather the relationship Rin and Bachira each have with Isagi in their own respects, I think make up the entire emotional core of the manga.

Isagi is the driving force that pushes everything and everyone forward. Bachira and Rin exist within the story and are pushed forward by Isagi, but within the story they both have this mirror effect on Isagi that pushes both him and themselves forward. The bottom line though is that I think Rin's personal crisis is the core conflict and barrier in the manga, I think everything will come to fall back on his ability to change and heal or stay the same and drown. I think it's Isagi's barrier too, not in the sense that Isagi has to solve Rin's problems, or that he even has to actively help him solve his problems, but in the sense that because Rin has decided to make his obsession over Isagi his whole personality and make it Isagi's problem (on the soccer field), nothing will progress for the better on an emotional level until they both figure each other out---which involves Rin figuring himself out.

But starting from the beginning: Bachira

Isagi being the main character and all obviously has a ripple effect on everyone. Most of the characters use this effect to their benefit, like Chigiri who decides that worrying about his leg is pointless and he might as well play until he can't, or Barou who figured out how to play the way he wants while also maintaining some consideration for his team so he isn't the biggest loser on the field, or Nagi who was able to step away from Reo and actually figure out what it is about soccer that he likes so he can get better (and keep playing with Reo). And then there's Bachira.

Bachira and Isagi's relationship is the starting point to everything, it's Isagi's beginning in Blue Lock and his development as a soccer player. Their relationship is free of drama, it's the prime example of what supporting each other while also competing against each other is supposed to look like. It's a relationship full of love and care and independent admiration of each other. I think the way their relationship is portrayed is the ultimate goal of the Blue Lock project for every character.

It doesn't start off that way though, as Bachira does have some demons to fight off, but Isagi isn't aware of this because Bachira didn't spill his guts about how he felt about being with Isagi until after he'd already solved his own problems.

Bachira was kind of one-sidedly codependent on Isagi's presence on the soccer field. He grew up lonely because he was "weird" (boy is so neurodivergent coded lmao) and when he met Isagi he felt that he finally met someone who would play with him in a way that was fun for him. Granted he didn't really make this Isagi's problem (unlike some people), but it started to become a problem for Bachira when Rin came into the picture (more on that later). As a result Bachira had to be willing to accept that nobody may ever understand or play with him the way he wants in order to enjoy soccer, but that he'll be okay even if he's alone and has no friends.

BUT--

Love wins. Lol. In the panels before Bachira is explaining the conclusion he landed on.

This is the epitome of a healthy relationship. I can live without you, so I can safely say that I want you here with me. That's Bachira and where he landed, and ever since then they've been able to play together and compete against each other without their affection toward each other being impacted. Bachira undergoes his own salvation early on in the story, and it sets the tone for something that needs to occur later (that hasn't occurred yet). Bachira being able to problem solve on his own is the reason that he and Isagi can be the way they are and the reason Isagi can stay grounded (even when things are looking somewhat not great personality-wise in the current arc lol). They can play with and against each other, they can challenge and encourage each other and neither one of them spirals into despair or self-loathing. Now, I don't particularly care about fictional relationships being "healthy" as it usually doesn't make a difference imo, if relationships in media are toxic hellscapes it's usually for entertainment and angst purposes. But in the case of Blue Lock, Bachira's relationship with Isagi is directly compared to Isagi's relationship with Rin. Between Bachira and Rin, one is way better off than the other right now, so I do think the differences in positive relationship vs. negative relationship absolutely make a difference in this case.

In summary: Bachira fought off his inner monster and can now play soccer without craving someone else's acceptance/approval. But even with this realization, he decided that he wants Isagi in his world still. So Bachira is in a good spot, but he didn't get there without some help.

Which brings me to Rin and Isagi.

These two started off as pretty decent rivals, just competing to be the best. But someone had to go and ruin it.

In the U20 game they both are fixated on surpassing each other. It's normal, it's okay and acceptable because they're both trying to get better and they view the other as a way to improve. None of this is an issue. Although...

Rin has issues, unresolved issues that nobody can solve because it has nothing to do with anyone but himself and his brother. More on his brother later and back to him and Isagi.

During the U20 arc Rin enters a "flow" state and goes nuts on the soccer field, which is good for his soccer playing but bad for his wellbeing. What sends him into this state is so interesting though:

As I said, Rin has issues. His brother absolutely crushed and devastated him, and this is the main reason for why he's acting the way he is in the U20 arc and the NEL arc (current arc being written right now). During the U20 arc and therefore after, Rin diverts his attention from his brother to Isagi, and the normal rivalry dynamic he had with Isagi is no longer what it was in Rin's case. It's one-sided, kind of like it was with Bachira. However Rin lets it consume him and bring him to a really dark place in the NEL arc. Rin starts strongly associating Isagi's effect on him with his brother's effect on him:

**Which is just unfair to Isagi and inaccurate anyway, because objectively speaking Isagi has done nothing to Rin other than what everyone in Blue Lock is doing to each other--competing. But as shown in the U20 arc when Rin started to deteriorate, Isagi is a threat to Rin. Isagi can catch up to Rin's playstyle, Isagi can keep up with Rin on the soccer field. What Rin realized and what sent him over the edge, was that EVERYONE was keeping up with his play style because Isagi's own playstyle was giving everyone a pathway to do so. Again--this is not a bad thing and maybe could have continued being a somewhat normal rivalry after the U20 game, but Sae being a fucking asshole had to go and make everything ten times worse for Rin by going out of his way to crush his spirit and acknowledge Isagi (this had to have been done intentionally—he knew what he was doing).

**Kaiser does this too with Isagi, the common denominator being that both Kaiser and Rin made Isagi their whole personality because they both were already beyond fucked up before the story began

Now I can tie Rin and Bachira together and complete the triangle.

After this Rin wasn't the same, and Rin became a very dark version of Bachira, which is ironic because it was Rin's words that made Bachira realize that he needed to save himself from his codependency on Isagi:

In the current arc Rin is searching for someone with his soccer too, but he can't direct his own advice at himself. What's really good about this current arc is that Rin relives moments from both Isagi and Bachira earlier in the manga, further emphasizing the importance of these three relationships in the story's progression. But unfortunately for Rin these moments aren't as positively enlightening as they were for Bachira and Isagi.

Rin reenacts a moment from chapter 2, where Isagi decided that if he was going to improve he didn't need to go for the weakest link. Rin on the other hand reenacts this but rather than with a moment of mercy (like how Isagi didn't go for the one injured player in the room and spared him), Rin's moment is kind of bratty and entitled and negatively impacted his team:

There's a difference in the two situations. Isagi's development was positive, Rin's was not, simply because it was a shitty choice that only benefitted his ego. But also it's because of Rin's personal issues. Rin chose not to score because he's searching for someone with his soccer. His brother:

Sae is Rin’s “monster”. He's reliving Bachira's dilemma, and just like Bachira he's becoming desperate to find someone. They both even said they either let Isagi become their reason for existing or devoted their entire being to him:

TO BE CONTINUED--

[alternativemiraculous]

Penalteam (obvious spoilers!!).

If you remember me, you'll know the things tying me to ML are the Miraculouses themselves. I love the idea of a set of jewels that give you powers. But man, do I want to say things...

Penalteam. I decided to watch the whole thing. I don't care for canon Chloé anymore, she's become incredibly boring to me. I prefer Lila as the go-to villain teenager, tbh. But anyways. Oh and isn't it really dangerous that Ladybug went giving the Miraculous to all her classmates, which were too close one to another? I get that she didn't have any other alternative but idk, everyone was so clustered that it looks like a scary maneuver. I don't know if I'm getting the point across adkwjkdjwl. I liked the "battle", tho. The football match was interesting.

Anyways! The important thing. I only care about powers. And, well, holders.

Traquemoiselle.

Sabrina Raincomprix. Too obvious. She's loyal so she dog and blah. I don't really care about canon Sabrina as I feel her characterisation is rather unstable, but even with that, I don't consider this the bestest of choices for her.

Design: I'm sorry, but no. I really really dislike it. I feel it's too tacky and toon-ish. It looks especially wrong compared to designs like Coq's. I don't like how her pants look, how little detail the design uses and I especially dislike whatever is in her head. I swear any fan design is better.

Power: Fetch. It works ig. It is definitely doggy and it has a good name (it's so fetch!). HOWEVER, I feel it's too close to the Horse. This power feels like a subset of what Pegase could do. Wasn't his first appearance him teleporting to get an object? I get how they're different: Fetch, as it appears, needs the ball to touch the object first. However, as much as it is more specific and gimmicky and definitely feels dog, is still a means of teleportation. I'd like a literal tracking power more, as you know; whether it means literally knowing where someone known is or just being able to "see" smell trails.

Weapon: ball. Cute, but too small to act as a weapon somehow, or so I think! Years ago I gave the Pig a ball as a weapon but it was a bigger one. At least the ball is related to dogs. If she had more than one I wouldn't really complain, tho. If you ask me, I'd give the Dog a boomerang.

Coq Courage.

Marc Anciel. I don't see how he fits as the rooster AT ALL, but I guess having surprising matchs sometimes is good, as most of us expected the Goat was going to Marc. I've gotten to like Marc a little more so I don't mind him getting to be in the spotlight for a while.

Design: so fucking cool. One of my favs I gotta say; I really like the suit, it feels incredibly pretty as well as cool. I'm not the biggest fan of the hair, however; as much as it fits a rooster, I don't think it fits Marc. Oh and regarding Marc... Coq looks nothing like Marc ajdkwljdkw.

Power: Sublimation. I'm sorry but no. The fuck is this? He gets the ability to... get any power he wants. Anything. Then, why doesn't he wish for the power to find Hawk Moth or something? The power to inmediatly destroy the Akuma object? What are the limitations? See, this is why too flexible powers can be problematic: I feel they cause plot-holes. Besides, what does this have to do with roosters? If anything, this feels like the Butterfly but less cool: both Miraculouses can create any wanted power, but at least Butterfly has downsides (despite it being too OP).

Weapon: quill. Feels too similar to the Peacock's feathers, but obviously they have different uses. Looks like it was made with Marc specifically in mind (writing), something I don't really like. Design wise it looks cool, though. However, how does it work as a weapon? My personal choice for the Rooster was a lance, btw.

Definitely hate the power omg. If I wanted to have a power like this I'd make a Miraculous be able to copy abilities; probably the Rat as a nod to the Zodiac legend where the rat and the cat use different animals in order to go forward or maybe an AU Cat because copycats. What to give the rooster? I truly don't know, tbh. I have this but I've never been convinced. I'd give it powers related to sunlight or sound, that's for sure. Maybe powers related to day and night, literally? Controlling the level of light during the day or in a room, idk. It feels versatile enough.

Caprikid.

Nathaniel Kurtzberg. Definitely feel he fits the rooster more, but I guess the goat works just fine. Not much to say; I feel Nath's character is rather unstable too.

Design: cool. I don't like the fact that his hair doesn't change. Horns are cool. Really, I adore how the suit looks, definitely one of the best looks. The fur looks so cool. I feel it fits Nath, too; somewhat straightforward but flashy too.

Power: Genesis. what??¿?¿?0!1?¿ No, really, what? Three things: 1) this Miraculous was clearly made for Nath, considering the fact that Evillustrator had the exact same power; 2) since when are goats related to creation? Abundance, I guess? 3) isn't this, you know, Ladybug's... power??? This is just creation, you cannot even give it another concept; this is the power to create something out of thin air!!! Yeah, Ladybug cannot choose what she creates but it's more than implied that she could: Misterbug did it and, well, the charms are a thing. So why does the Goat get to have the exact same power? I don't get it???? I'm really confused. If someone can explain this to me... But hey, at least the name is cool!

Weapon: paint brush. Nothing to do with goats, too much to do with Nath, but the weapon itself is cool and original. I don't really have a complain. I would've given it a slingshot, as I've said before.

No, really, this feels so wrong to me. Tell me anything you'd like; that this is more related to imagination whereas Ladybug with luck, whatever. These powers feel like one and the same. I've never known what to give the Goat but definitely not this.

Minotaurox.

Ivan Bruel. Too obvious. Fits his strength and all. Not much to say.

Design: cool, but somewhat basic. Not a lot of colors ajkdjwldw. I don't really mind this design. Not good, not bad. Golden accents are something I like. However, I'd like Ivan's hair to change too.

Powers: eh. Meh. Resistance. I don't really get what it does. Super strength? Unstopabble object? Literal invencibility? Can't make an opinion because I didn't really understand it.

Weapon: didn't catch it. Man, I'm sorry Ivan aijdwdjkw this is too short. Someone please explain the entire Ox to me.

Yeah I think this is all. If I forgot someone, I'm sorry ahdjwdkj I'm a bit clumsy. But yeah. You don't have to guess it: I'm not happy!

[simayeeet]

Warriors Orochi Headcanons and Stuff That Don't Make Sense to Me Now Ramble Bullshit Dump

things i wasn't able to put together coherently back when i played the games now strung together in a sleepy retrospect

For gods, everyone immortal/mythological/divine in WO is weirdly too weak AND FOR SOME REASON IT TAKES ANCIENT CHINESE/JAPANESE/OTHER WARRIORS TO MAKE A DENT IN THEIR PROBLEMS.

It really doesn't make sense for the Mystic Faction to seem so weak to the point they need humanity to fight for them. You're made up of Chinese and Japanese gods that have founded human civilization. With the Greek and Norse pantheons now becoming canon, they look even more weaker.

But even they seem weak with how Zeus gets betrayed by Ares, Ares fucks up things, Odin fucks up, Loki kills him, things get all fucked. Odin dies without much fanfare. But then again WO4 probably shouldn't be allowed to count, but I like the concepts it had however.

Sure, yeah, it's a game with the plot of "humanity is strong with its friendship and bonds", but I just think you shouldn't downplay the deities for their sake. But I'm basically asking for a WO game of only the original characters in there. Which I want. Please cut out the Warriors.

Ugggggh, though I headcanon that all the deities cannot use their full potential out of risking their already unstable realms. Which brings me to question: why is it unstable? Is it because of time fuckery they have to do to get their human fighters? Something something with Orochi I'm going to have to guess from what I remember of WO3 + Ultimate.

It would be interesting to explore how good and evil need each other to exist, maintaining ying and yang. Especially with the Asian pantheon characters with them covered in the symbols and all. Fine too deep for a Musou game.

I also want to know more??? about the WO deities and other original chars??? Why??? is there no ingame lore on them??? Besides the basic mythos, but WO could definitely give them little personalities and more bonds with each other. Why must it be about the humans? I mean, some interactions are interesting but man do I wish to know why does Taigong Wang look like a twink when he was a super old super smartass Chinese minister. Which brings me to:

Why do the deities even look like the way they are? Is this their weakened forms? Are they what they choose to look like? Well, I suppose all of them choose to look hot. Makes sense. I'd do too. It would be cool for them to have "true" forms. Or even partial transformations. Like an Arrancar from Bleach. Some part of them had to be sealed away so that they can keep the worlds stable.

Misc questions lightning round

For a human cast where 65% of the historical chars died of illness, they sure never asked the local GOD OF MEDICINE TO HELP THEM (Guo Huai??? Why aren't you cured when Shennong is right there??? Sure it might take time, but maybe if the WO power scaling weren't shit, he could just delete the illness)

Are??? Nuwa and Fuxi??? related in this world??? Or not??? I'm pretty sure whether or not if you confirmed them being siblings or not, it wouldn't matter because they are both gay (im kidding) (maybe not) (tbh all the deities ae a bit fruity)

Why does Kaguya know how to time travel? She's not a god of time. She's a moon princess from myth. I'd like to know the ingame lore about her power origins.

What is even the power scaling of WO? Fuxi is considered stronger than Nuwa, but then there's Susanoo and Yinglong who can compete with him. Where is Nuwa on this scale? She has to be at least his equal as, yk, his successor. Where would Shennong be on the scale too? Even if he's the medicine god, he has to be able to have equal power in his field if not for fighting. SHOULDN'T THEY BE WITHIN EACH OTHER'S LEVEL TO EVEN HAVE THEIR TITLES? Taigong??? Sun Wukong??? Daji??? What is their power????

Play Warriors Orochi 3 Ultimate

[ocpdzim]

Actually, DS9 is pretty much the only show I have watched where I have had opinions on ships besides “I hate them” or “They seem good for each other so I GUESS it’s fine but I’d rather look at something else.” These are as follows:

Most of the canon endgame ships, including Jadzia and Worf because I think getting married and remaining married until one of you dies counts as endgame, are actually pretty cute and I did not hate watching them (this is high praise for a ship coming from me). My favorite of them from a character standpoint is Ben and Kasidy, which tbh is also the only one I wasn’t immediately irritated by when it first started. The others I was annoyed with at first but eventually came around to, and ultimately they are mostly pretty well written too.

The only major canon ship I REALLY DON’T like at all is Ezri and Julian. I feel like they will commit so many medical ethics violations because due to lack of other providers they are literally each other’s doctor and therapist and both have a HISTORY of committing medical ethics violations when treating people they are close with (Ezri just generally, Julian specifically with romantic interests). Also it was so forced and rushed. Maybe it could’ve been fine if they’d had like an entire extra season to flesh it out but I would honestly have preferred if they just didn’t do it at all. Also I feel like poor Ezri should’ve gotten like a year to just exist and figure out her issues before being shoved into any relationships AND before returning to work as a therapist because holy shit she fucked up administering therapy so bad so many times.

The one non-canon ship I most think should have been canon if the writers had dared to because it would’ve actually worked really well is the O’Brien polycule. Miles and Keiko clearly care about each other a lot yet have kind of an unstable relationship as it is, but every time they bring a third person into it, it seems to help significantly. They should stay married but Miles should also date Julian and Keiko should also date Kira who is also dating Odo. I think this would eliminate like 90% of drama in these characters’ relationships and generally improve station morale.

Julian and Garak was fun when I was watching the show and discussing it with friends, I guess I would’ve liked to see it in the show if it was handled well because they have an interesting dynamic and it would’ve presumably put an end to the parade of really insufferable “Julian has a crush... on DAX and/or a GIRL WE NEVER SAW BEFORE” events, but at this point I have seen way too many out of character incorrect quotes posts about it clogging the tag and so now I’m kind of tired of it. I get the appeal but let’s post about something else sometimes. Alternatively, let’s make posts about the ship that incorporate the characters’ actual personalities even a little bit. Either is fine.

Quark and Odo should NOT date because Odo would not treat Quark right and Quark would not treat anyone right. Quark wants a relationship so bad but I think he is just way too much of an asshole to everyone he cares about and should be banned from romance forever, sorry Quark. However, and this is crucial, the ship is such an incredible comedy setup that I am still generally happy to see posts about it anyway. “Quark and Odo try dating but they are really bad at it and have a nasty breakup” would also have been a viable episode plot and a fantastic addition to the “Quark fucks up an attempt at romance really bad” episode collection.

Sisko and Dukat is a terrible ship if it’s requited, because Sisko not only deserves better than that but also has too much of a moral backbone to ever even consider dating a person who sucks as bad as Dukat does. HOWEVER, it is funny when people write Dukat as having just an absolutely doomed and miserable one-sided crush on Sisko, who just straight up hates him and has no positive feelings towards him at all. And honestly? Considering what we know about Cardassian flirting and what we know about the horrendous way Dukat treats women he canonically has massive unrequited crushes on, you could make a good argument that "Dukat has a massive unrequited crush on Sisko and is handling it so badly and that’s at least partially why he did this” is a valid read of several of his actions in the show.

I have no real interest in a ship between Jake and Ziyal for its own sake; it’s been boring in every way I’ve seen it presented even though one could in theory do interesting things with it. HOWEVER since the writers were so determined to introduce weird fucking horrible to watch romance subplots for these characters (all of which were thankfully brief, but like, still awful), I think it would’ve improved the show if they were in a relationship simply by virtue of the fact that they were around the same age.

[syubub]

May 13th Reading

Definitely long awaited and way bigger than I intended it to be so buckle up.

Funky disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!

Oh boy. The continuation of yoongis soulmate saga.

(Note frome future me: it's not proofread but I'm hungry. Sorry for mistakes!)

So so so so

Let's start.

I started with all the normal jazz. Connecting with his energy and shit. Same as usual same old same old. Platform= same same. I was like, "hey, let's talk about your soulmate and the whole may 13th shit" and we connected via energy stringy thing to the forehead and such. I was intresting bc my end of the string was kinda my energy color! Neato. Looks like some rest has really done me good!

Okay, here's where I start actually asking shit. I made notes at this point before the reading as I usually do. I'm just gonna insert the screen shot here.

The 14 thing really fucked me up. You'll see later. Also, when I got the whole Pisces Jupiter thing I had to do me some googling bc we established that Jupiter went into Pisces ON May 13th so I was like?? Am I missing something?

I was. I forgot that it goes retrograde and then co.es back to Pisces on December 28th. And I do indeed think it to be significant.

The shit about temperance makes a lot of sense. In yoongis first soulmate read I flipped my shit bc he was like, "You're gonna get temperance reverse" in regards to a card for his soulmate and I was like "pft whatever. Don't play me like that"

And then I got temperance reverse. It's been a significant card from the jump.

I asked him if he had any advice for his soulmate and that's what "Don't wait for big things, you'll miss the small ones that lead you to bigger things" and "Look for facts before assuming" and "Don't try pushing it, forcing it won't make sense" and "A spade is a spade/ ace is an ace" and "Don't make ill informed guesses" all were

Now this part:

"Union has happened , yet to on the physical"

Gave me some hints thankfully because he straight up said no more hints.

This ties back into the whole Jupiter thing too. The seeds are/ have been planted and now they have to grow before they can be harvested.

Well Mr. Yoongi, I'm impatient and I don't want to wait. I want to see you in love pronto.

Anyways

He showed me a little dream box/ trinket box looking thing and a super vague Keychain with no further explanation... so... there's that I guess.

I can't quite decide if "Don't make ill informed guesses" was a tongue-in-cheek pike at me or if it was genuine advice to his soulmate? He just loves to not explain things.

Now let's begin the monster read.

So. The first row of cards

I asked the question, "what the fuck was May 13th and what was it's purpose in regards to your connection"

Important is what it was lol. I interpret this as them finding their footing and this being the starting point of the genuine foundation being layer. Like they've been manifesting eachother for a while but May 13th marked the start of them making the real life changes in their actual lives that will be the set up for them meeting.

The seven of coins is about thoughtful planning and creating security/ stable plan. The tower is essentially ripping away anything and everything that was built on unstable foundation and challenging/ testing your character (an extremely rude awakeing if you will). Judgement is releasing the past so you can rise above it and confronting yourself as you are (Also legit awakening) the queen of coins is financial security and self confidence in your abilities. Ten of coins is prosperity and abundance and most of all, stability. Eight of wands is explosion of potential and rapid movement. Temperance is awareness and balance between physical and spiritual. It's also that quiet peace where you find balance.

So. Seeing all those cards it really does seem like maybe his soulmate took on something new that could lead straight to union? Same for yoongi. I'd like to analyze and recent or new-ish habits or hobbies he's picked up?

Moving right along though. I asked what the 13th did for each of them in their personal life and personal journey. Kinda like what came as a result of that energy? Let's start with yoongles

This was really intresting to me. I think he definitely gained some form of clarity about the situation with that sun card. The 5 of cups tells me that either he was kinda forced to confront some of his flaws in a way that he was trying to avoid or he had to consciously let go of something dear to him? Could be something he had to leave behind because it crumbled with the tower moment but he didn't see it coming or didn't know that it was time to part with it? With that queen of wands though fits beautifully with the sun! Its like he's found warmth after a long winter. Definitely found a spark of compassion and generosity from a place of happiness and love rather than anger, fear, obligation or pitty.

I asked for clarity cards/ anything else that may 13th signified bringing in and we got the 2 of cups and 10 of swords. I have two thoughts. Either he let go of a relationship that he was already in because he didn't feel as though they were particularly compatible anymore (Also ties into the above section) OR the 13th had made him very much consciously aware of his soulmates incoming status and he is now preparing and working on himself for when this person comes. The 10 of swords would be him releasing the past and the pain and any ill fitting behavior that don't vibe with him any longer. Yellow really seems to be working for him by the way.

Soulmate time

Lol. All signs point to his soulmate genuinely starting a new venture. New creative pursuit that will bring them good money. 10 of pentacles is abundance, prosperity and stability. The ace of wands is a new creative spark and passion and it's the first big steps into something new. The 2 of wands is "the world is in the palm of your hands" vibes. Choices need to be made swiftly and with the ace of wands I think they will be. With the heirophant too, it will be a well informed decision because they've been manifesting this and has been searching for all the possible information.

As for clarity, we have the moon. Damn. Soulmates been doing that shadow work. Dredging up all their bullshit and getting rid of it while still taking the time to sit with it and release it so nothing is unresolved. Also probably extra creative due to all the emotional baggage being thrown out. (Definitely helping with the ace of wands vibes tbh)

Now for the bad boys in the middle

The question I asked is what those individual changes (detailed in the last two sections) will bring for the bond and I just can with them. These fuckers. I am so invested in their love story bc it's so... them? And just so fucking ROMANTIC. UGH I CAN'T.

Back to the point. High priestess, 4 of wands and the lovers. The high priestess is deep knowing and insane intuition, the 4 of wands is the purest joy and marriage and the lovers is well, the lovers.a magical union.

FUCK DUDE I NEED THIS TO BE A ROMCOM.

For the row of bottom cards

I asked if they had anything at all to add so I'm gonna explain each card individually bc I think they could be individual tid bits of shit.

Knight of coins is good news about finances/ money looking promising and organized work (also dependability!!). Death is all about transformation, the beginning of a new chapter and accepting in order to move foward. Ace of coins is spiritual and material abundance and also a reminder to keep grounded. Page of swords is confidence, important news coming and really good insight! Roots out secrets or hidden things like a truffle pig. The star is promising potential, healing and guidance from an enexpected place. The two of cups is a soul connection, love, intuition especially in regards to another person and a good bind. The emperor is self awareness, foresight, fearlessness to achieve a goal and confidence. Eight of coins rev is poor discipline and skating by on low effort.

Now to the sides!

Yoongi is the left, soulmate is the right.

So, let's begin with yoongi. The first two cards are anything he wants to say to his soulmate. Wheel of fortune and three of swords reverse. I take this as "its all in divine time/ it's destiny" (wheel of fortune) and "trust your intuition. It's okay to get hurt, you just need to remember you can always pick yourself up" (3of swords rev.)

We have now cards that I asked what he was learning through this process/ in this time. Be positive and first step.

The last two cards are affirmations he wants to give his soulmate.

"When I introduce joy to a situation, I change the vibrational frequency of what's happening around me" and "directing my focus onto what's thriving creates more of what I want"

Now for soulmates cards (same structure)

Strength and eight of swords. "You're stronger than you think. Take every part of yourself and acknowledge it. You're a force to be reckoned with" (strength) and (soulmate snapped at him on this) "the only thing holding you captive is you."

Now we have peer pressure (I think soulmate is learning to say "fuck you" and "fuck off" to people who have a set idea of how everyone should be living their lives), emotional healing and open your arms to receiving.

Then we have "its good to feel good" (lol I feel like yoongi definitely needs this one) and "when I connect to the spiritual realm, I open the door to recieve divine guidance, clear direction, and great wisdom"

The last stretch my friends.

So. Completion, leave behind the things that no longer serve you. Exist in the present and don't keep mulling over the past or any future happenings. Magic, pay attention to the magic around you. Listen for the signs of the universe and take them as they come (essentially listen to divine guidance) . Be open minded but logical as well. Luminous warrior, try focusing on the good in yourself instead of berating yourself for every small flaw. Spiritual path, self explanatory. The blade, your power can be a weapon when used willy nilly (most often wounding the wielder) or it can heal. Don't fear it but also consider how you choose to utilize it. The give away, be greaful for the sake of being greatful for it, not because you want something in return. The rain maker, manifestation station. Create with the tools you have because you have everything you need in order to manifest. "Don't take life personally"

Now we have heaven sent.

""Let yourself be helped" assistance is coming your way so act on it and say yes"

" This Oracle also comes with the message that you are to trust in the things that you feel and say to others without knowing why. It moves them. You might not understand, but through trust you are allowing yourself not to overthink and censor yourself. As such you are able to become a vessel through which the spiritual gift can be passed on to others. Don't block yourself. Let life happen through you. Only benefit can come from this."

And free from judgment, free to love

" If you have been asking life for a solution to a specific difficulty you have been having, this Oracle comes with the message that a solution is in gestation right now. This situation is already being sorted out and the resolution will come to fruition very soon. Hold tight and wait for the eminent birth of that resolution."

" This Oracle also brings you a message about love. You may find that you are loving, or soon will love, in a different way. You may worry about this love, given that it defies what you have known or been taught about love. Perhaps you are becoming able to love another tremendously, even though you don't have much of a personal relationship with them. You might question if this love is real. It is real Kama it is just happening at a different level to the love and attachment you experience when you are involved in a personal relationship with someone. It is not more or less, it is just a different facet of love. It may be that you are opening up to love the planet and her creatures, including the animals, the ocean dwelling life, your own body, the trees and so on, more than before period you may feel passionately purposeful about giving your time and energy to causes that protect and nurture the Earth and her creatures. You are affirmed in this love too. The universal mother is operating through you to nurture life. She will support you in your work, so that you can continue To come from love and not become drained, depleted or lost in despair or fear of futility. Instead, you will be energised and expanded by your dedicated service to life."

" Finally, this Oracle has a message for those who may be feeling alone or lonely in a need of greater nurturing from others. You are asked to stop, relax, centre and settle into your body to feel your connection with life itself. The air in your lungs is the same as the air that moves through the trees. The water in your blood is the same water that fills the oceans and is moved by the phases of the moon. The flesh of your body is the same substance as the body of the Earth itself. The heat in your digestive system is the same fire and heat as that from the Sun. Feel this connection, then do something nice for another without agenda. Make a donation, even if just a small one, smile, say a prayer, sent out a good thought or make a wish for another. That's it. You have connected to life again and in doing so, life can connect with you. And so it shall.

And that's all for the cards but but but.

Someone (either my guide or yoongi) was like, "do a song. Do a song. Do a song." And I was like, "oki doki, sounds good.

So I asked what numbers I should try refreshing and then it hit me. The number 14 came up before the reading and it seemed a bit misplaced? So I did 14 shuffles and look what popped up

You gotta be fucking with me.

Istg these fools will actually be the death of me dude. Euphoria is so romantic and I lowkey feels like it describes a bit of what their bond must be like.

YOONGGGIIII

Anyway,

I came back to the platform to be like, "thanks homie" and it was weird bc he was practically pure energy? Like usually I visualize his energy as what his physical body looks like because it's easier to comprehend? But nope, he was just a big shimmery glob of energy.

As I was going to disconnect, a few things happened. I felt tingly and the platform was vibrating almost? So I was like, "hold on, what the fuck is this?"

And then

It hit me

"MIN YOONGI IS YOUR SOULMATE HERE??"

I could tell this fuckin asshole was smug even in his blue glob form.

The color was... blue like yoongi but also a light lavender/ pink kinda vibe. Pretty damn distinct.

I was so stoked and I thought we'd all get to chat and I could yell at his soulmate for being an elusive asshat

But Mr smug butt had different plans.

My dude dropped a little marble thing in my hand and I was like ??? And he was like, "you'll know when you need it" and I was like ?????

My guide took pity on me and said, "it's just a representation on information that you've been given but it isn't the proper time to unpack it yet"

Cool cool so like and energetic zip file that will release itself whenever it damn well pleases? Cool cool cool.

(Asshole)

Anyway, I genuinely think that my excitement of this whole situation must somehow also influence how yoongis energy handles my prodding? Like what the fuck is this marble bullshit?

To top it all off, he gives me a friendly shove off of his platform.

Thanks, buddy.

Now we are here. And as always, I'm left with more questions.

My main take away is that amay 13th through July 28th will be all the foundation and ground work and December 28th 2021 through May 10th (11th? 9th?) 2022 will be a more likely time for physical union and actual relationship stuffs.

Anyone who knows more about astrology please feel free to chime in on this whole Jupiter in Pisces bit! My understanding is super surface level!!

~~~~

That was a big boi and now my thumbs hurt real bad. Hope you were entertained by the chaos.

[digitalvoidheart]

Pixelated New Moon - New Moon Ending (Ending-1)

First

¤¤¤¤¤¤

Moon didn't want to leave him. He couldn't. Cross was too much of an asset. He can combat for sure, maybe heal just as well but the situation he's facing is just. Not. Helping!

Sure, Cross' explanation of why his team needs him vividly clarified the doubt, and that without him they'd go ballistic, he still wants him to come along. Just why does this stupid game only allow one player to leave?! It's not fair!

Moon started to feel overwhelmed with anger, stress and guilt. It's not fair! He will DIE if I don't get him out and it will be MY fault! I doubt anyone would want to help him with the sacrifice of their only life! It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair! It's not fair! IT'S NOT F-

"Hey, you're starting to breathe funny. Calm down" Cross' soft calming voice once again broke him from his trance of furious and berating thoughts.

How is he still calm? His life is at risk and he decides he wants to comfort Moon? A player with so much less experience and at a lower level than him?

"Why?" Moon croaked a whisper. "Why do you wanna send me back knowing full well you won't be able to go back?" By now tears began to prick his sockets.

Cross' heterochromatic eyes widened at his question, his stoic mask cracking. He paused for a while before looking down as he let out a sigh. He smiled weakly, the emotion drenched with pain and sadness that an empath like Moon could feel the tightening of the metaphorical strings tugging at his Soul near to the point of shattering.

"You have a home to return to," he finally whispered and looked up, tears running down his cheekbones. "And I don't intend on snatching that away from you."

Moon gasped at the small tension Cross' Soul relieved. Tears welling in his sockets from the pain the achromatic player felt "You deserve a second chance at this fucked up life game."

Cross shut himself up, trying to salvage the broken pieces of his tough exterior so he didn't seem vulnerable to Moon.

This was becoming a more difficult situation for Moon. He wouldn't want to be the last person to shred Cross' last sliver of hope just to get home.

Home... They were his home... and they needed him.

Just like Cross.

But how to help both?

A force pummeled into Cross' chest knocking him from his welling negative emotions. Upon looking down, he saw his cloaked companion giving him a hug.

He looks so small. The traitorous thought bubbled out. He chuckled weakly at the stupid idea in his head, too emotionally distraught to do anything than return the sweet gesture.

They remained in silence like this. For how long? Neither knew. Could've been hours or days, maybe months but by then, Cross calmed down and didn't realise when did either settle down on their knees, still in eachothers embrace. Maybe time was fucked up in here just like the world around them.

Cross didn't realise that his emotional moment had taken its toll on Moon's as well, knocking him unconscious whilst comforting Cross. As Moon's head lolled from side to side as Cross shifted his position only did he notice Moon fell asleep.

This kind player with the dilemma to save himself or Cross. He didn't want to become a burden to others.

From his monochromatic pocket, Cross fished out a "Hidden Card". He sighed. He could only hide like this- like a coward. But like all lies, the truth eventually comes out.

He filtered through his memories, on how he ended up here.

Joining a team, being forced to kill for exp, several failed attempts of destroying his "killing machine" self until his final escape in the void of this level.

He didn't bother watching his 'team' struggle, more than ready to end his unstable existence.

That is until he noticed a similar but smaller figure to his pixelate into existence beside him. He knew it wasn't right to snoop on other's businesses but... He felt it. That tug of urgency to help or get help from.

Now's not the time for walking through memory lane (or trauma lane).

Cross shook his head. He searched around Moon's small form for any sack or lumpy item containing the escape key.

Bingo.

He eventually found Moon's gold bag. Cross stood up after placing Moon down comfortably, before facing the task bar meant for Moon.

He pressed the "return" option, holding out the bag of gold. He watched as the bag glitches off of his hand and out of existence before returning just as quickly, as the bar now showed two values. One slowly increasing like that of a super fast countdown, the latter increasing just as speedy.

0

78000-

It went down and down until the values switched. While Cross waited for the values to switch, he subconsciously kept giving glances at Moon's tired form. The soft sound of the money counting down resonated through the silence.

Until it stopped.

A quick look over confirmed the switch in numbers. The numerals then glitched out of existence, in its place glitched a static-y portal which flooded the silence with its cacophonous noise.

He knew he shouldn't have. Knew that he shouldn't have listened to the voices telling him. Ordering him to look back. But being weak to orders, looked back once more at Moon.

Then turned away.

---

Moon woke up to a black space. His previous companion nowhere nearby and the thickness and heaviness a burden to even move a digit.

Looks like Cross saved himself after all, Moon thought, a melancholic smile overtook his tired face.

He knew that the opportunity was available, no threats to pass if Cross wanted to take his money and escape he guessed.

But why.

Why did it still hurt?

By the stars, he GAVE Cross the option to leave and abandon him! He knew this could happen! But why? WHY did it still hurt?!

First abandoning Nightmare and the trio, now Cross. Why does it always-

"If you think drowning me in your sadness will kill me, you're sorely mistaken" that voice...

Shifting his eyelights to the origin of sound, he almost sobbed when he saw a hint of cyan glowing softly in the darkness instead... of... Black and white...

Where was Cross? The concern rippled through him as he tried to lift his dead weight of a body on what now seemingly felt like a heavy blanket and bed.

"Not so fast, hero. Being in the Void for some time clearly took a toll on your strength." a tendril pushed Moon back to bed, the purple eyed skeleton not even fighting back, clear proof of his weakened state. "Since time acts differently here and in there, we do not know for how long you've been away. All we know is once the boys completed the tasks, you were jettisoned out of a portal. We just brought you back from the medic."

Nightmare moved closer to his line of sight, scrutinising the other both physically and emotionally. A good few minutes of staring before he scoffed, turning away.

"We're glad to have you back" he mumbled, clearly not used to showing that he cared to others.

-----

It had been weeks since the previous level and fiasco with the Void. While the rest of the team was a bunch of curious cats, Moon refused to speak of his interactions and story while there, and they respected that... Reluctantly.

But Moon did seem to change while with the others. He was more cheerful and supportive, rather than being depressed (Nightmare is glad for it even if it makes him gag).

Moon, never forgot his Void companion, Cross, either. The crumpled and creased note in his cloak pocket now acting as his Ikigai and duty.

*******

Hey Moon. If you're reading this, it means you're safe in the real world. I'm glad you're ok.

This message is also to tell you, that I'm now in a better place and I'm glad I spoke to someone like you before my departure. Thank you for being a kind person and someone who willingly sacrificed their life for mine even when I didn't deserve it for becoming a killing machine.

I have a small favour to ask of you. Promise me you won't feel bad. This was my decision. I almost took up your offer to leave you behind. I'm sorry I almost left you to die.

But with what you taught me in that little amount of time, I knew you deserve to live and show that you can do so much more than I can.

So promise me to not be sad and show your team, the world what you can do. I believe in you.

Good bye

-Cross

*********

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

New Moon: Where Moon leaves the Void

Ok the part after Moon falls asleep? that had to be written a bajillion times with no backup cuz tumblr was being a complete douche to me. I finally decided to sit my butt down and finish it off before I lose my motivation eternally

But poor Cross... Tbh I almost made the ending a sad one where Moon takes his own life because of regret but I'm too tired to do that and I have 2 more endings.

They may not be as long but be on the look out for em!

[ectonurites]

Tbh I kind of hate how fandom has latched on to the Lazarus Pit wrt Jason’s actions? Like despite having very little canon basis, it’s just so prevalent in fandom and fics, to the point where as far as fandom is concerned it’s become ubiquitous with the character, kind of like with baby stalker Tim or caffeine addict Tim. And it gets used as an excuse for his actions a lot, which I feel takes a lot of agency away from Jason. Like, sure, I can understand using Lazarus Pit madness as a contributing factor for like, the Battle for the Cowl nonsense and such, bc that was nuts and he was clearly unstable/OOC. But it’s used as a way to distance him from his actions and make it easier for the family to bring him back into the fold, which I get! True reconciliation with Jason as is would take a lot of work on the writer’s part, and I completely understand not wanting to get into all that. But I just feel like it’s a disservice to Jason’s core character. He’s someone with conviction and commitment. He believes his way is better than Bruce’s, and I feel like contributing that to Lazarus Pit madness, at least past a certain extent, undermines his character and takes away his agency and free will. Also, I’m ashamed to say it’s just while I was writing this that I had this epiphany as more than just a fleeting thought, but we can explain his Battle for the Cowl-era actions without the “Pit Madness”, bc mental illness is actually a real thing even without the Lazarus Pit

Oh I totally agree.

The thing is... while sure it’s nice in an ideal world and I know fanfic in general is a lot of wish fulfillment, realistically as he has ever existed in canon (especially pre-reboot) Jason ‘fitting in’ to the batfam is basically impossible without altering core things about him. And I think adding in ‘reoccurring lazarus pit madness’ as a way to rationalize his worst actions is the most common alteration, because as you said it distances him from some of his actions. 

Some rambling thoughts on this under the cut just looking at some Jason Moments™ but the main point I guess i’m making here is that taking away his agency kinda sucks because he is really interesting on his own

Jason, again particularly in preboot where he was at odds with the fam more constantly, is written very inconsistently and I think anyone would agree on that. He teeters on that line between Villain and Anti-hero. But no matter what in either of those positions, he is still having core differing ideals from the Bats, and that is not a result of the lazarus pits, that is a result of his life (and, well, death) experience.

Under the Red Hood (& Hush & that Teen Titans issue he’s in where he attacks Tim, so his earliest things after coming back) I think should always be interpreted as him acting more as a villain, because it is a revenge plot, it’s him acting out, it’s the result of every pent up feeling he had because of the circumstances of his death and how he felt he wasn’t properly avenged thus was unloved. Lost Days shows the foundation for that, but Lost Days also shows us that deep down in his core he still has a lot of heroic ideals, which is why when he’s not fueled by a need for revenge I think he’s best written as an Anti-Hero. When Jason sees people who are innocent (like the kids in that arc in Lost days) he is going to save them, he is going to be someone who stands up for those people. He is just willing to do any bad things he might need to in the process, he has sacrificed the more ‘heroic’ methods because he knows firsthand how they can still fail.

But honestly, after that point of crazy revenge schemes up until probably Battle For The Cowl where it all goes suuuper downhill, he falls way more in Anti-hero territory imo! Like, for example:

The Nightwing story with Tentacle Jason! (Nightwing (1996) #118-122)

Thinking about it aside from the sheer ridiculousness of the ending for a second, he expresses constantly in that story that he wants to be closer to Dick, he wants to work with him, because he does want to be a hero of a sort, he just thinks lethal methods are necessary. But that story was about him not wanting to be entirely isolated from the family. This is a Jason who is an anti-hero, he’s killing people because he thinks it’s necessary, not because he’s being driven crazy by a lazarus pit.

Then like, the Green Arrow story (Green Arrow (2001 #69-72) 

He kidnaps Mia to try to recruit her. He’s not just being ‘evil’ he is trying to make the tough calls and do things the rest of the general ‘hero’ community won’t do because it’s what he deems necessary, and he’s trying to convince her that she should do it too. It doesn’t make him right, or anything like that, but there is a logic to what he’s doing. It’s not ‘madness’.

Then like, he helps Dick out by giving him information on Black Lightning in the Outsiders! Because Black Lightning was innocent and Jason figured he may as well let Dick know what he knew. Countdown is a little bit of a mixed bag just because the event itself is kinda a mess but like, overall Jason cared about Donna and Kyle during it and while he was definitely the ‘black sheep’ of the group he still helped until it just became too much for him and he needed to peace out. But like, dude finally had gotten to a world where a version of Bruce had avenged him like he’d always wanted his Bruce to, and then he had to watch that Bruce get murdered in front of him. I can understand wanting to step away from the super scene for a bit after that! That’s not gonna put im in a great place mentally.

And then putting Bruce’s actual death in the main time during Final Crisis on top of it? NO SHIT HE WAS UNSTABLE DURING BATTLE FOR THE COWL. And like, even though it’s not fully justified reasoning, even BftC does show that something set Jason off. It was a tipping point:

(Battle For The Cowl #3)

It was still badly written Jason, but you can definitely start to explain it with literal just... instability because of trauma, unaddressed mental illness, etc, etc, you don’t need to say it was because he was dunked in the pit! Because that really does take away the responsibility he has over his own actions. 

Just... while it’s a fun idea to play with a Jason who can be an integrated part of the family, if you’re going to do it base it more on his current canon version where he has been shown to be willing to make compromises (rubber bullets) to be accepted because he is placing his need to be accepted by his family over his actual ideals at some points. This is honestly one of the biggest key differences between his pre-reboot version and his New 52 (especially Rebirth) and on version.

Pre reboot canon Jason wouldn’t do that. He absolutely would not. Not that he wants to be isolated from his family, (bc think about like not only the Nightwing stuff above, but there are TWO instances he reaches out to Tim, yes one of them is in BftC which ya know is a mess but he also does at the end of Tim’s Robin run before that!) He doesn’t even really hate them (ok he hates Dick in the way you hate your cool well-liked older brother but that’s different) but if he sees them as standing in his way he will take them down and stand against them. He is so deeply seated in what he believes is the right way to find justice, and they are not going to pull him out of it.

Blaming his actions that are rooted in his ideals on an outside factor like pit madness is definitely cheapening him as a character. 

ALSO side tangent but people who base things in preboot with Jason almost never even bring up Sasha and that just makes me sad. Like. Come on! He cares about that kid a ton! Sure Morrison’s version of Jason was also a mess, but the ending bit where he even does work with Dick & Damian to save her?? Winick had taken over writing by that point so it’s already a better characterization of him.

And this next bit also gets down to kinda the core of the matter: He’s willing to work with them as long as they let him do his thing, it’s just that they are not willing to work with him if he’s going to kill. And he’s not willing to fully compromise that longterm. 

(Batman and Robin (2009) #25)

Using a lazarus pit as an out for his actions and thus acting like he didn’t choose to continue a lot of the killing (without an outside influence) changes his motivation, and creates a version of Jason who probably would compromise like that. But that’s not... how he actually was, in pre-reboot especially.

[meetmeatthecoda]

Okay so, I wanted to offer my two cents on that ask about Liz’s reaction in Luther Braxton: Conclusion. This is NOT meant as an attack on anyone—I find it 100% valid that the OG nonny (and anyone who related to them, including you dear Coda 💖💖💖) feels the way they do; they can’t control how they reacted to Liz any more than I can control how I reacted to that ask. Plus like, this is all fiction so no harm done? I purely wish to share my perspective, not ~present a counterargument~ or anything like that. :) Apologies in advance for how long this got. 😅😅😅

I get why you would react negatively to Liz’s screaming at Red, but I feel like?? That incident of all the times she’s treated him unjustly was (one of?) the most reasonable. Now, how she continues to act afterwards (regarding the Fulcrum but also, like, for the rest of the show welp) is 100% a continued bad decision in so many ways on her part and reflects terribly on her character, but her reaction in the immediate aftermath?? IDK, I feel the need to kind of defend her, probably because I absoluuuutely saw myself in her when she did that. I’ve (I shamefully admit) yelled, shoved, and even kicked at loved ones when they just wanted to comfort me but their attempts made me feel cornered and small. I’ve made logically unbased and ethically/emotionally unfair accusations against people who’ve done nothing but try to help me when I just needed something to get them away (literally or otherwise). When I just needed to attack something—take out my frustrations and confusion and fear and anger on someone. (And if Liz was like that, she might have latched onto Red as her target because he was the closest thing—physically, emotionally, and even in relation to the cause of that confusion and anger itself.) I have inflicted real harm on people while in an unsettling or unfamiliar mental state—harm that I couldn’t take back even when I could look back with a clear(er) mind and realize I never should have said/done any of that.

(Also, side note: when I first watched that ep and I saw Liz screaming at Red not to touch her?? I’d actually thought they were depicting her as being touch-averse due to the trauma and/or overstimulation, and I was?!! Like, call me badly coping but I appreciate seeing characters not being comfortable or straight-up being aggressive about being touched, even for just a moment, because that is me 24/7. Then of course a few more seconds and it turns out it’s not actually that?? Liz is just repulsed by Red’s Bad Guyness again apparently?? Whenever I rewatch the ep I still choose to see it as overstimulation though because, well… my heart is clearly very talented at choosing comfort characters for me. 🥲🥲🥲)

So speaking from personal experience, coming out of a trauma (or revisiting an unresolved one) is so stressful that it’s only natural to react explosively—even to the extent of unfairness and unreasonableness—in an attempt to protect or heal yourself, whether that attempt be justified or not. And honestly, I could even make the argument that for Liz, her attempt was to some extent justified. Of course Red would never hurt her, but sometimes a person needs breathing space. Like, literally needs. Maybe for the sake of her mental stability/health, Liz should have had her first moments coming up from her trance to herself. Does that make sense?? IDK if I made any sense there; I just know that while I never could have gotten to the place I’m at now without the EVENTUAL professional and personal support I’ve been blessed with, I also can’t fathom how much more mental anguish I would have experienced if I’d had people who knew me (or like, the “closest person” in Liz’s case) see me in the immediate aftermath of my trauma. Just… The state I was in? Yikes, am I glad only I saw myself pull myself together; I’d have had so much more to worry about with others seeing me like that. That might just be me and totally inapplicable to Liz of course, so I digress!

I’m not saying Liz isn’t responsible for her words/actions simply because they happened while she was in utter emotional upheaval and under mental and physical duress—Red definitely did NOT deserve that treatment from her. He did NOTHING WRONG. But with that kind of complex angst comes the inevitably mixed but nonetheless potent reactions of fans, I completely understand that. Everyone has different experiences and thus different viewpoints, and that’s fine and totally healthy in my book. Still, something about that discussion struck a chord with me—you can (and should) hold someone accountable for the harm they do while mentally unstable, but it’s possible and also healthy to do that without, yourself, harboring anger or resentment against them, you know? I had to teach myself (and those around me) that, so I guess I just wanted to put it out there. Again, I don’t mean to start anything and I’m so, so sorry if I inadvertently have. I hope it’s okay that I came here to explain my thoughts (and so wordily too, ack I’m sorry), and if not, I won’t anymore. Thank you for hearing me out this time though, I really appreciate it. :)

Dear anon!! 🤗🥰❤️ Firstly, I want to thank you for your kindness & respect for other's opinions!! This ask was worded in the sweetest, most considerate way & I appreciate it very much!! There's absolutely no need to apologize for having your own opinion & perspective, especially when you share & explain it so nicely, so never fear!! 😊❤️ Moving on to the meat of your ask - which is in regards to this previous one - you make such a good point!! When you look at it that way, the Luther Braxton Post-Memory-Unearthing Screaming Explosion is perhaps Liz's most justifiable negative reaction in the series LOL I guess looking back from where we are now - knowing all about & being completely fed up with all of Liz's awful writing & characterization in the subsequent seasons - it's easy to dismiss her reaction in Luther Braxton as something unreasonable & irritating & unfair to Red (which, to some extent - as you graciously allow - it is). But - as you generously point out - while that's a valid way of looking at it, it's also definitely worth examining from another point of view!! And I think your point of view (in everything ofc, but particularly in this) is so valuable!! I can relate at least on some level... I have definitely snapped at people, even those trying to help me, verbally & otherwise, when I lost my temper & just needed some space!! In fact, I think that's a pretty universal stress reaction & it's not necessarily something to be super ashamed of (but definitely something to be aware of & work on - a good reminder for us all!!) & it's definitely not a stretch to imagine Liz was going through something similar after being effectively water-boarded & having her memories so unceremoniously rifled through!! And, after all, Liz has one thing we generally don't... a perfect, convenient, willing catalyst for all the negative things in her life: Red (however undeserving of that title he may be.)

(And re: sidenote of touch-averse!Liz - Omg, I definitely thought about that being their angle at first too!! While I don't usually default to reacting that way myself [kind of the opposite for me usually LOL] I know that plenty of people do & it's 1000% valid as a coping mechanism & honestly??? A touch-averse Liz would be one of the more realistic reactions she's ever had 😂😭 especially considering the circumstances!! And hey, no shame about gravitating towards that interpretation bc it's 1) less painful for you & 2) you like comfort characters bc you 👏 do 👏 you 👏 but also?? I can't say anything bc the reason that I like that interpretation??? I love the angst of an overwhelmed & touch-averse!Liz unintentionally shattering Red's heart by completely rejecting his well-meaning physical comfort anddddd I'm not sure what that says about me tbh 😂😂😂)

Long story short, anon, you made perfect sense here, not to worry!! You were so respectful & cognizant of others' feelings, thank you so much for that, it doesn't go unnoticed!! You bring such a good point to the discussion with your perspective & outlook & I'm so thankful you chose to contribute!! I loved reading your thoughts & don't worry at all about the length, I appreciate your thoroughness!! (Plus, we all know I'm hardly one to talk, I never use one word when twenty will do 😂) Please don't hesitate to come back to my inbox any time to discuss whatever you like, I always love a little bit of friendly TBL conversation, especially since the show as we know it is so abruptly & unexpectedly over 😭 Yes, still grappling with that, in case you were wondering 🥲 Anyway, thank you again for your lovely ask, anon, I appreciate you greatly, & much, much love to you, of course, my friend!! ❤️