#but still the idea of feeling good for most of the time is still such a baffling thought for me

[moonstruckme]

Hey angel!! hope ur doing well!!

i was wondering if I could request roommate!marauders where they have crushes on reader buttt she already has a bf but he's just a total jerk.... and u sorta get the idea?? (if u haven't done one like this already)

much love!!! <3333

Thank you for requesting lovely <3

cw: douchebag boyfriend, marauders fancy reader but don't genuinely want her to cheat or end her relationship for them

(poly)roommate!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1.1k words

It’s heartbreaking how lovely you look first thing in the morning. Sweet, rumpled pajamas, plodding gait, sunlight stretching over features still soft with sleep. You raise your hand to cover a yawn as you enter the kitchen, eyelashes still drooping like they’ve weights sewn into them. 

“Morning,” you say on the tail end. 

“Morning.” James opens one arm to you. You step into the hug automatically, and he drops a kiss to your head, his own private indulgence. You’re eyeing the omelet he’s frying up with his other hand. “Want one?” 

“Mm, wish I could,” your voice is a somnolent mumble, “but Dale’s taking me to breakfast in a bit.” 

James tries not to react, but his hold on you stiffens some. From the living room, he hears Sirius scoff. “Oh.” 

“I’m sure your omelet would be better.” You pat his side, moving out from under his arm to go to the coffee pot. “We’re going to this cafe he likes, and they never have anything I want. Still, I can hardly show up full.” 

James feels himself frown. Typical of your boyfriend to take you somewhere you don’t even like. Perhaps he’s a tad biased, but James thinks you should eat one of his omelets and show up full just to teach him a lesson. 

He plates up the one he’s just finished. You tail him into the living room as he delivers it to Sirius, curling your feet up underneath you on the couch. Remus is sitting in the armchair reading the paper. He and James have already had their breakfasts, but you and Sirius are always the last up on weekends.

“Are you finished with the funnies?” you ask Remus. 

He looks up at you with a tenderness James doesn’t know how you can’t see. “Yeah,” he says, shaking out a page. “Here.” 

Sirius snickers at your choice of reading material as you reach across him for it. You nudge his thigh with your knee. “Bite me.” 

“Anywhere you’d like me to, babe.” He winks. 

You roll your eyes and fold the page to read, well used to Sirius’ flirting. Similarly to how he’d done with Remus, Sirius’ ill-advised tactic for winning you over involves alternating between taunting you relentlessly and acting like his affection for you is all one big joke. It only barely worked on Remus—James’ interference had been required there, and that was before he’d admitted to himself his own feelings for either of the two boys—so James doesn’t understand why Sirius would give it another go with you. 

“Oh.” Remus closes his paper, seeming to remember something. “I was wondering if you might have time to go with me to the farmer’s market this morning. We’re out of eggs, but I can’t haggle with the woman like you do.” 

You give him a sorry sort of smile. “I would, but Dale’s meant to pick me up at ten.”

“Oh, well.” Sirius rolls his eyes, chewing malignantly on a bite of omelet. “If Dale said he’ll be here at ten, then surely that’s what’s happening.” 

You bump his thigh again good naturedly. “Be nice.” 

James bites his tongue, and even Remus reopens his newspaper with a tad more vigor than necessary. Sirius is by far the most vocal with you about your boyfriend’s flaws, but your roommates all hate him. The guy’s a prick. James would never in a million years try to convince you to leave your partner for them—and despite Sirius’ joking, he knows neither of the other boys would want that either—but if you broke up with Dale, he would be very tempted to throw a party. 

James really doesn’t understand how someone like you could end up with someone so holistically unpleasant as your boyfriend. He’s rude, inconsiderate, he doesn’t express any gratitude for the sweet things you do for him, and he is never where he says he’s going to be when he says he’s going to be there. He shows so little regard for anyone but himself. If he told you he was going to pick you up at ten in the morning, he’s just as likely to arrive at three in the afternoon. Even for your half-hearted defense of him, it’s nearly ten and you’ve made no move to change out of your pajamas or get ready, because you know he won’t be here on time. It irks your roommates to no end to see you tolerate such poor treatment. 

“Maybe you can go with Remus to the farmer’s market,” you tell Sirius. “You seem like you could negotiate.” 

“Sirius doesn’t know how much eggs are supposed to cost,” Remus says idly. 

“Oi!” Sirius objects through a mouthful of omelet. “I do so.” 

James smiles at him. “Really. How much do you think eggs cost, love?” 

Sirius manages to take another bite while James is asking, so his mouth is conveniently too full to answer. 

“I can manage it on my own,” Remus says with indulgent fondness. “Dove, do me one favor, though?” 

You lift your coffee. “Sure.” 

“Don’t let him summon you outside with his horn again.” 

There’s a brief but thick silence while you finish swallowing your coffee and all three boys try not to look too obviously judgmental (Sirius trying the least, naturally). The purse of your lips reveals some embarrassment. 

Still, your voice comes out unconcerned. “It’s not a big deal to me. It’s not like we’re in school and I need him to come to the door and meet my parents. It’s a time saver.” 

“It’s rude,” says Remus gently. “You deserve someone who will come to the door for you.” 

James’ thoughts exactly. 

“Sure you don’t want some toast or something while you wait?” James asks, partly to dispel the tension and partly because he really does think you should eat something if Dale isn’t likely to be here until the afternoon. “You could call it an appetizer.” 

You stand with your emptied coffee mug, passing an affectionate hand over James’ hair as you move between his legs and the coffee table. “Thanks,” you say genuinely, “but I’m alright. I’m going to go get ready.” 

However eager James is to avoid the tension that comes from insulting (or, really, just speaking frankly about) your boyfriend, Sirius has no such concerns. “While we’re telling Dale things,” he says after you, “be sure to remind him that our flat has a three-strike roommate tears policy. Next time you come home crying, Jamie and I get to make a house call.” 

Your laughter echoes down the hallway. “Sure, I’ll let him know.” 

Sirius looks at James, perplexed. “Did I sound like I was joking? I was not using my joking voice.” 

James pats his leg consolingly.

[sinsinewave]

i will preface this by saying that my qualifications are rather limited as well at 2 years of advanced psychology studies, and a lot of experience with tech some limitations in my perspective include not having personal driving experience, and only really having experience in an environment with intensive driving education and existing public transport and pedestrian infra --- anyhow, i think the effect you're describing does exist, but for a different reason; it's more from not feeling the car as an extension of your body properly: people have an intuition to how to use the car, but not how to be the car so to speak consider the hypothetical of punching someone in the face when doing that, people generally have a visceral intuition for what their own body can do to others when you punch them however, adding the car as a separating layer, that intuition gets weaker: you no longer quite internalise the damage your actions can cause, and the power gets to your head --- contrast that to, say, a car enthusiast who has been working with cars for a long time and has a strong connection to them due to such a person feeling the car properly as an extension of the body, they have more of an intuition for what it can do; and thus are less likely to be arseholes on the road --- going back to the hypothetical average commuter without a true intuition for the car an outlier here are new and learner drivers; who often are quite respectful towards pedestrians in my experience i think this is from not having a false idea of skill; a new driver understands they're not a good driver whereas someone with some experience is potentially good at controlling the car, which creates a false idea of competence, while still lacking a proper feel for the car --- most of what i'm saying stems from my own experiences with people, and as a pedestrian: usually the worst and least respectful drivers are certain commuters, and teens in lowered BMWs whereas the safest drivers for me as a pedestrian are professional drivers, such as bus and lorry drivers, as well as enthusiasts who clearly put a lot of time and care into their car --- i've also noticed the same effect with other tools the people most prone to accidents or misuse of tools are those who aren't complete beginners and have some level of intuition for using the tool, but don't have the proper connection and intuition of a professional or enthusiast --- generalising a bit, i'd argue there's two "versions" of a tool becoming an extension of the body; which could be described as "usage intuition" and "effect intuition" out of those, having neither, both, or the latter is relatively safe, but having only the former is dangerous as you'll intuitively apply a tool but have a disconnect from what it actually does

This is the thing about being a pedestrian tho drivers just straight up loathe your existence and act like you are somehow a problem for being a fucking pedestrian. Some cunt in a jeep almost hit me today while I was ALREADY in the crosswalk and she had a red fucking light and had the balls to scream at me. Like fucking excuse you? I don't trust any of y'all as drivers and in my world, the driver should always be at fault of hitting a pedestrian. "You walked out in front of my big truck" cool get a smaller vehicle if you can't give pedestrians the right of way.

[siddyyyyyyyy]

Unhinged

Jason Todd x Reader

MDNI wc: 0.7K summary: your roommate finds your messages you send your friend about him. warnings: suggestive themes, no y/n used, actually kind of cringe a/n: my dear friend accidently gave me this idea while spamming me with delicious Red Hood edits (@dollyure), evidence will be shared at the end. enjoy!!

You never thought this could happen. You were so careful to leave your own thoughts to yourself and never let Jason see the things you tell your friend. But of course, nothing really goes your way for some reason.

It took one thing for you to end up in this situation. One thing. And that was leaving your phone unattented on the sofa for a minute. Unlocked.

It was a typical evening as any other, just getting to relax and wind down at the end of the week on your favourite spot at the couch with your roommate. Jason was always pretty quiet but respectful of the shared space, a good friend if you want to wind down together. You rarely get to see him in the evenings but on days like this, when he stays in, it feels like a small reward for you.

Of course he doesn‘t know about any of this. Doesn‘t know anything about what your silly texts between you and your friends. You keep it a secret pretty well, so he won‘t think you are a complete weirdo.

Well, until that evening. Setting your phone quickly aside to get to your boiling tea kettle, you forgot to lock it. Jason sits at the other end of the fluffy couch and watches how you scurry away to get the boiling water to a stop. With an amused grin he gets back to his book but keeps getting distracted by the bright phonescreen just a little away from him. Glancing over, he sees the outlines of text bubbles but he can‘t see what‘s written in there yet.

He isn‘t trying to pry or get into your privacy, but the way the other person spams you non-stop is making him more curious. Whatever this conversation is about, he wants to know if it‘s a conflict or some sort of gossip.

Jason checks if you are still in the kitchen and sees you preparing your tea and some sweets. He technically has enough time to snatch your phone while it‘s still open and gets to have a look over the texts. Who knows, maybe he will find out some interesting things on there. So, with these weak excuses, he grabs your phone and starts reading through them.

UNTIL YOUR TONGUE FADES COLOUR??? I mean every word I say. Wow. Just…

His brows furrow. What does this even mean? Are tongues even capable of fading colour? With a quick glance to the kitchen, he scrolls up, reading through the older messages.

From the couch, to the shower, to the bed, from the wall to the floor from missionary to cowgirl, straddled on top JUST LET ME HITTT

His jaw drops. Jason quickly composes himself and sits up, clearing his throat. He is sure he will need extra therapy after this. Ignoring the unfamiliar, warm feeling in his lower abdomen, he continues to read through them. Unsurprisingly, he finds a picture of himself in the chat. His profile picture, some random pictures he didn‘t even you had in the first place.

Until my throat memorises every vein.

That‘s the last message he sees from you before you appear in his sight again. Tea in hand, some cookies in the other. But most importantly, your flushed cheeks and regretful expression. His hand drops your phone and his cheeks also flush.

You can‘t look into his eyes anymore. This is the next worst thing that‘s ever happened to you so far. There is no way you can talk yourself out of this situation at all. He knows basically everything now. From the fact that you crush on him to the fact that you literally want to devour him whole.

Silently, he sets your phone back to its original spot and gets off the couch to stand up. Again, he clears his throat and speaks up first.

»I‘m gonna pretend I didn‘t see all this...«

And before you could apologise or say something to your defense, he is gone, retreating himself into his own room. Maybe even for the better, you can‘t imagine how awkward it would‘ve been if you were to sit next to him for the next few hours.

here is the so called evidence ( from my friends perspective)

and this was the final message that made me do this:

hope you enjoyed it somehow(★‿★)

←MASTERLIST

[nostalgebraist]

I feel like I've had the same experience several times now: someone does a new translation of a non-English literary classic, and all the critics praise it to the moon, so I go and try to read it, and it's turns out it's just . . . bad? Like, really bad? And weirdly bad?

A while back, I wrote about the case of Pevear and Volokhonsky. Here's another example, which I encountered while doing background research for my novel Almost Nowhere.

----

One of my novel's major characters is a literary translator, famous for his rendition of the Persian epic poem Shahnameh ("Book of Kings").

To help me write this character, I tried to read the Shahnameh myself. I started out – where else? – with the translation that seemed to be the gold standard, and which was certainly the most critically lauded.

Namely, the 2006 translation by Dick Davis, in prose with occasional shifts into verse.

Here's how the Shahnameh begins, in Davis' translation:

What does the Persian poet say about the first man to seek the crown of world sovereignty? No one has any knowledge of those first days, unless he has heard tales passed down from father to son. This is what those tales tell: The first man to be king, and to establish the ceremonies associated with the crown and throne, was Kayumars. When he became lord of the world, he lived first in the mountains, where he established his throne, and he and his people dressed in leopard skins. It was he who first taught men about the preparation of food and clothing, which were new in the world at that time. Seated on his throne, as splendid as the sun, he reigned for thirty years. He was like a tall cypress tree topped by the full moon, and the royal farr shone from him. All the animals of the world, wild and tame alike, reverently paid homage to him, bowing down before his throne, and their obedience increased his glory and good fortune.

And here is the same opening, in the 1905 translation by Arthur and Edmond Warner (which I only discovered much later in the process of writing Almost Nowhere):

What saith the rustic bard? Who first designed To gain the crown of power among mankind? Who placed the diadem upon his brow? The record of those days hath perished now Unless one, having borne in memory Tales told by sire to son, declare to thee Who was the first to use the royal style And stood the head of all the mighty file. He who compiled the ancient legendary, And tales of paladins, saith Gaiúmart Invented crown and throne, and was a Sháh. This order, Grace, and lustre came to earth When Sol was dominant in Aries And shone so brightly that the world grew young. Its lord was Gaiúmart, who dwelt at first Upon a mountain; thence his throne and fortune Rose. He and all his troop wore leopard-skins, And under him the arts of life began, For food and dress were in their infancy. He reigned o'er all the earth for thirty years, In goodness like a sun upon the throne, And as a full moon o'er a lofty cypress So shone he from the seat of king of kings. The cattle and the divers beasts of prey Grew tame before him; men stood not erect Before his throne but bent, as though in prayer, Awed by the splendour of his high estate, And thence received their Faith.

Now, I can't speak at all about the source text. I have no idea how faithful or unfaithful these two translations are, and in what ways, in which places.

Still, though. I mean like, come on.

This is an epic poem about ancient kings and larger-than-life heroes.

This is a national epic, half myth and half history, narrating the proud folkloric lineage claimed by a real-world empire.

There is a way that such things are supposed to sound, in English. And it sure as hell isn't this:

What does the Persian poet say about the first man to seek the crown of world sovereignty?

Excuse me? That's your opening line? I thought I was reading a poem, here, not taking a fucking AP World Literature exam!

----

Postscript

Some of the critical praise for the Davis translation, quoted on the back cover of my copy (emphasis mine):

"A poet himself, Davis brings to his translation a nuanced awareness of Ferdowsi's subtle rhythms and cadences. His "Shahnameh" is rendered in an exquisite blend of poetry and prose, with none of the antiquated flourishes that so often mar translations of epic poetry." (Reza Aslan, The New York Times Book Review) "Thanks to Davis's magnificent translation, Ferdowsi and the Shahnameh live again in English.” (Michael Dirda, Washington Post) "A magnificent accomplishment . . . [Davis’s translation] is not only the fullest representation of Ferdowsi’s masterpiece in English but the best." (The New York Sun)

[justmeinadaze]

November Rain (Boxer!Eddie X Plus Size Y/N)

A/N: I dreamed about this idea and my time of the month fueled it.

Please Enjoy <3

Warnings: Older (Early to Mid 30s) Dominate Boxer Eddie X Plus Size Fem younger (early to mid 20s) sub Y/N, SMUT, Daddy kink (because Im me), light spanking, big dick Eddie Munson :P, etc.

ANGST, reader meets the boxer while on a date with someone else, mentions of pain from the ring but nothing too dramatic, reader and Eddie mentions just getting out of relationships, nothing negative is mentioned about Y/N size <3. All positive and Eddie thinks she's perfect :). CLIFFHANGER ENDING 😈

Word Count: 4753

Other Eddie Stories here/ Donate to Me

"When I look into your eyes

I can see a love restrained

But darlin' when I hold you

Don't you know I feel the same?"

“Paige, I hate you. This guy is the worst.”

“Oh, he’s not that bad! Lol. Where did he take you?”

“A boxing match.”

“NO! Lol. Oh my god. I hate boxing and how the fuck are you supposed to talk there?”

“He’s taking me to a bar after.”

“Text me when you get home so I know you’re not dead :P.”

“Love you to, dork.”

“Who are you talking to?”, your blind date asks as he lightly nudges you with his shoulder. 

“Paige. I’m just telling her how nice you are and that you haven’t murdered me yet.”

“Ha! Well, the night’s still young.”, he laughed causing your eyebrows to furrow in confusion, not out of fear but annoyance that he thought that was the appropriate thing to say to someone he only met an hour ago.

When your friend and roommate suggested you go on this blind date you originally declined. You had just gotten out of a 2-year relationship and wasn’t in the mood to dive back in. After a couple of lonely (and needy) nights, you changed your tune. 

She insisted he was a nice guy she knew from work and he absolutely was but it didn’t overshadow his awkward personality. When he suggested coming to a boxing match, you were actually intrigued thinking it was an out of the box idea instead of going to the movies or dinner. As the small arena began to fill, you found yourself more fascinated by the people around you casually talking about one of the fighters. 

Eddie Munson was a “veteran” in the field, being a bit older than most boxers in the ring. He had won multiple matches but for whatever reason managers and venues didn’t take him seriously. The kid he was fighting had many accolades and higher stats but his wins matched his opponents from the pamphlet you skimmed through while you two waited. 

As the lights lowered and both men were introduced into the ring, you couldn’t help but focus on the older boxer. He was extremely handsome with his sharp jaw and intense, piercing eyes that commanded attention. His chest and muscular arms were littered with tattoos that accented his physique perfectly.  

With all the cheering and commotion around the ring, you were surprised when his eyes landed on you. He tried to look away but you noticed his gaze kept lingering back to where you were sitting. Trying not to appear intimidated, you smirked his way and leaned back in your seat where your date’s arm was strewn along the back. The boxer slowly took you in, scanning along the short sleeve black dress that clung tightly to your busty chest and large curves. Your high heeled shoe absently tapped the air as he glanced down your legs and back up to your face. 

Someone you assumed was his coach, tapped his shoulder and forced him to focus as he screamed instruction into his ear. Rising to his feet, the person took his robe before he headed for the middle of the ring. On his short stride, his gaze shifted towards you again making your smile grow as you silently mouth the words “Good Luck.”

Eddie jumps slightly as the announcer’s voice flows loudly near him startling him as you giggle and he shakes his head.

***

“Yeah so I do contracting at this firm and it’s so stupid but…”

You don’t know if your date notices but your eyes had begun to glaze over as he spoke. Your date seemed like a nice enough guy but was definitely not your cup of tea. The one thing you feared about dating again was mundane shit that came with casual conversation. You always wished you could skip over this part and get to the moment where you were comfortable again. 

“I feel like I’m droning on and on. Tell me about you.”

“Oh…um…there’s not much to tell really.”

“Of course there is. Tell me about your job, your family, everything!”, he chuckles a bit too enthusiastically as you try to hide your cringe behind your smile. 

“Excuse me, miss. Telephone for you.”, the bartender interrupts as he points at his phone near the end of the counter.

“Oh, thank you. Excuse me.”

After hopping down from your stool, you make your way to the telephone and put it to your ear.

“Hello?”

“I thought maybe I’d give you a minute of peace from chatty Cathy.”, the smooth voice on the other end laughs. 

“Hm. How do you know I wasn’t enjoying the chat?”, you ask as your eyes fleet around the bar.

“Well first off, you were way too eager to get away. I mean you didn’t even ask who was calling. Add in the fact that your face is worth a thousand words, sweetheart.”

It takes you another few seconds before you find your mystery caller leaning against the wall by the front door on his cell phone. The long-haired boxer’s grin grew when your eyes met his as his subtly waved his fingers in your direction. 

“Wanna get out of here?”

“I’m in the middle of date. I can’t just leave.”, you tease knowing full well you’d let him kidnap you if that meant leaving this date behind.

“There’s only so long you can keep up this rouse before he starts getting suspicious so I would make a decision quickly.”

“Pfft, his brain doesn’t move that fast.”

The man’s laugh echoed into your ear straight to your heart as you blushed, glad that you had the ability to make someone laugh like he just had. 

“Honey, a woman as beautiful as you in that sexy dress shouldn’t be bored out of her mind. She should be having her mind blown.”

“And you’re the man to do that?”

“I’d like to try if you give me the chance. I have a feeling you’re not easy to please like all these other giggly girls and I like a challenge.”

“Smooth, Mr. Munson.”, you giggle.

“Ah, so you were there to see me fight.”

“No, sir. It was just a happy accident.”

“Ooooo sir. I like that. You can just call me Eddie for right now though.”

“I prefer the term Daddy.”

It was no longer subtle that the two of you were staring at each other from across the bar. His breathing stutter slightly and you bit your bottom lip to force them to remain still even though you wanted to smirk his way. 

“Y/N? Everything alright?”, your date asked as he placed himself in the chair next to where you were standing. 

“Y/N.”, Eddie repeated as if he was trying to familiarize himself with your name. When you didn’t reply, your date’s palm reaches out to slide down your arm and take your hand in his. “I’m counting every second he touches you. That’s how many times I’m going spank you for allowing it.”

A tear runs down your cheek and you see regret flash through his eyes, worried he may have gone too far before he sees you hang up the phone and pull your hand from your date’s grasp. 

“I have to go. My brother was in-in an accident.”, you cry as you make a beeline to where the boxer was standing near the coat check desk. “Excuse me.”, you murmur as your arm brushes chest, the contact sending a little electricity through you both. 

“No problem.”, he mumbles as he turns to leave, making sure the back of his hand grazes yours as he does. 

“Do you want me to drive you—”

“No, no its ok. My sister lives close by so she’s going to pick me up. She’s the one that called.”

“Ok, well, let me at least wait with you.”

“Alright. You pay and I’ll wait outside.”

After he nods, you sprint outside to find Eddie sitting on a motorcycle offering you a helmet. 

“Really?”, you sass as you take it from his hand and slide it onto your head. 

“Psh like you don’t like it.”

Revving the engine, you cling to his waist as he drives off into the night.

***

Your eyebrow raises as pulls up to a gym and sifts through his pockets to search for his keys. 

“Yeah, um, welcome to my humble abode for the time being.”

“You live in a gym?”

“I live in the back of a gym. Big difference.”

“Oh absolutely.”, you jest as you allow him to lead you inside. “I would figure with how good of a fighter you are, you’d have Rocky 4 levels of riches.”

Again, he cackles as he throws his head back and in that moment, you started to realize you would do anything to continue hearing that sound. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone from your generation mention such an old movie.”

“It’s not that old and neither are you.”

“Well, aren’t you sweet.”, he smiles as he opens another door in the back and gestures you inside. “I kind of started boxing a bit late in the game compared to everyone else around me. Some of these kids have been doing it their whole lives and I only started training 10 years ago.”

As you take in his little room, Eddie heads to his mini fridge to grab a couple of beers. You could tell, he hadn’t been here long, living out of a suitcase for the time being. 

“How long are you stuck here?”

“I actually just got an apartment so I move in, in about a month.”

“What happened to your last place?”

Eddie smiles as he hands you one of the bottles in his hand. 

“You ask a lot of questions.”

“I’m inquisitive.”, you smirk back as tilt the beer to clink with his before taking a sip. “I need to know if this is where you take your hookups to hide from your wife.”

“What makes you think I’m married?”

“Huh.”, you muse as you take a seat on his couch/bed. “Most men would immediately deny. ‘Oh, no, baby! I’m not married. I swear.’”

The boxer rushes forward as you speak to hastily move his sheets and pillow on to another chair before taking a seat beside you. 

“I’m, um, no I’m not married.”, he chuckles nervously. “Full transparency, I actually just got out of relationship so if I seem…awkward…that’s why.”

“I think you’re doing alright.”, you smile as you turn to face him getting more comfortable and he does the same. “Better than chatty Cathy.”

Again, he laughs and again you swoon. 

“If it makes you feel better I just got out of a two-year relationship myself.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. How long has it been?”

“A few months.”

“Geez and you’re already dating?” When you don’t laugh like he does, Eddie panics as you sip your beverage. “No, that came out wrong. I just meant that you’re doing better than me. It’s been a year since I’ve even seen my ex and dating hadn’t even crossed my mind. Fuck, I sound like an idiot.”

Your giggle pierces his heart and he melts in relief. 

“No, you don’t. May I ask what made you find the confidence to ask me over?”

“I saw you from the ring and thought you were a fucking angel I’d never see again. When I walked into the bar and saw you, I knew I couldn’t let the opportunity slip away.”

“Wow. Smooth again, Mr. Munson.”

“I thought you preferred Daddy.” You blushed as your head dipped, trying to hide your eyes but his callused fingers quickly reached out to grab your chin forcing you to look at him again. “This…This goes without saying but you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. We can just talk or—”

Your lips on his interrupted his gentlemanly speech before tilting back slightly so your mouth wasn’t far but you could still see his face. 

“Do I make you nervous, Daddy?”

“Fuuuuuuuck.”, Eddie whispers as both palms cup your cheeks. “I don’t want t-to disappoint you.”

Slowly, you crawl over him till your straddling his lap and take hold of his hands to guide them to your wide hips.

“You won’t, baby, but if this isn’t something you’re into—”

“No, no, no. I’m into it.”, he rushes making you giggle as his face flushes with embarrassment at his earnestness. “My ex wasn’t… she tried for me a couple of times but...”

“You never really fully got to take control?”

“I told you it’s been a while since I’ve dated but it’s been even longer since I was able to be Daddy.”

“Sounds lonely.” His head tilts to the side at your statement as his brows furrow. “People don’t understand it but when I’m in my little girl headspace I feel safe when I’m with the right partner. It’s natural for me sometimes when I’m intimate to slip into that mode and if I was with someone who couldn’t satisfy that… I would feel lonely…like I did something wrong.”

When your eyes meet his again, Eddie’s smiling up at you with a softness you appreciate. 

“Thank you for coming to my TED talk.”

His body shakes as he laughs and you feel the energy in the room lighten. 

Comfortable.

Bringing your lips to his, he reciprocates with more confidence.

“Take your time and ease back into it.”, you whisper. 

You continue to grind against him as you murmur soft words in his ear and his hands roam your back. Gripping the bottom of your dress, he lifts it up your body and groans as his eyes hungrily take you in. 

“Fuck, you’re so fucking sexy.” Smirking, you slide off him, your eyes never leaving his as you remove your panties and toss them at his chest. “Leave your shoes on and crawl to Daddy, baby.”

Your pussy clenches at his words, his confidence in the title starting to return. Sinking to your knees, you do as he says making him groan as he unbuckles his belt and pushes his pants to his ankles allowing his cock to spring free. 

As he spits into his hand and strokes himself, you pause. 

“Jesus. You’re so fucking big.”

“Hey.”, Eddie growls causing your head to snap at attention. “Watch your mouth.”

“I’m sorry, Daddy. I’ve just…” You continue to crawl forward till your hands balance on his knees. “…never had a dick as big as yours inside me. I-I don’t know if it will fit.”

“Shit. It’ll fit, pretty girl. We’ll make it fit. You just have to get it nice and wet.”

After nodding in agreement, he hisses as your hand wraps around him and the tip of your tongue darts out to lick the little beads of precum that had begun to leak out.

“Goddamn it, Y/N.”

Opening your mouth wide, you test the waters and bob your head taking half of him as you allow your tongue to swirl around his head along his slit. 

“T-That’s it, baby.”, Eddie pants as he pulls your hair into a makeshift ponytail to get a better look at you’re doing. “Good girl. Your mouth feels so…so good. Try and take more, sweetheart.”

You do as he asks and promptly gag as your throat constricts around him. 

“Fuck! That’s it. Take it, baby. Choke on Daddy’s cock. Let m-me help.” Holding you tightly, you allow him to use you as he thrusts his hips and his dick hits the back of your throat. “There we go. Mouth open, flat tongue. So fucking beautiful taking my dick like this.”

Tears spill, smearing your make up as he lets you go and you take in big gulps of air. Grasping your cheeks, he kisses your lips as his thumbs wipe away the stains under your eyes. 

“Such a good girl… so good for me. I should have asked but do you have a safe word? Is Red still a good one?”

Eddie smiles as you breathily laugh and give him a peck before climbing up his lap to straddle him again. 

“Red is still good.”

“Turn around, sweetheart.”

After doing what he says, your whole body melts into his slightly sweaty chest as his arms wrap around you. Gripping the base of his shaft, you shutter as he slides his cock between your folds, teasing your clit with his tip. 

“You’re so wet, little girl, fuck. Are you ready for Daddy, baby?”

“Yes. Please.” Lifting your hips to help guide him, the boxer begins to gradually push himself inside of you. “Oh…f-fuck…”

“Are you ok?”, he whispers in your ear as you fully fall back against him. 

“Yeah, yeah. It…feels so good…so big. Mmnah!”, you whine as he slowly thrusts in another inch stretching you open. 

“You’re doing so good for me, Y/N. Take your time.  We have all night, honey.” 

Your half lidded eyes watch as he runs his tongue along his fingers before bringing them down to massage circles against your clit, feeling your pussy flutter and allowing him more leeway as you both groan feeling your lap finally connect with his. 

“You’re—mmph—so fucking tight.”

Experimentally, you roll your hips and the moan that leaves his lips has your eyes rolling as you do it again. You know his fingers gripping your love handles will leave bruises as he starts to guide you but you don’t care as you suck hickies into his neck, smiling at the vibration as he groans. 

“Bounce, pretty girl. Fuck me hard.”

Balancing your hands on his knees, your head lulls forward as you bounce on top of him, mewling repetitive ahs as he slams into that sensitive spot inside you. His palm comes down hard on your ass as he continues to knead his fingers into the plump flesh. 

“God, I can’t get over how fucking sexy you are. Cum for Daddy, sweetheart. Make—fuck—make yourself cum on my cock.”

Falling back against him, his wide lust filled eyes watch as one of your arms comes around to cling to the back of his neck as your other brings your hand to massage your breast. Eddie had never met a woman like you before and was pretty sure he would never meet again. 

Even with his ex, she used to be pretty open minded but never seemed to carry the kind of confidence you did. He knew when he saw you from the ring that you were different but he had promised himself he would focus on his career for the time being before jumping into anything new relationship wise. 

But how could he let you walk out that door tomorrow morning and let you go?

Your body trembled against him and he grunted as your cunt gripped his cock as you came. You rode out your high and the feeling made him almost feral as he picked you up to move you both the floor.

With his hand firmly holding the back of your neck smushing your cheek into the floor, Eddie thrust into you with rough abandon as you fell apart beneath him. 

“Oh my Goooooood. So fucking deep.”

Twisting his hand to curl his fingers in your hair, he yanked you closer to his chest and slowed his pace but not his intensity as his skin slapped obscenely into yours.

“Does my dick feel good, sweetheart?”

“Yeeeeesss—mmmah!”

“Tell me. Tell Daddy how much this tight little pussy loves my cock.”

“Y-Your cock feels so good, Daddy. My pussy was made for you.” As you spoke, his forehead rested against your cheek as his eyes shut and he found his rhythm again. “I want to feel you cum inside me, baby please.”

His eyes snapped open as he scanned your face realizing immediately you were telling the truth. 

“Don’t—Don’t say shit like that, little girl, unless you mean it.”

“P-P-Please, Daddy. I promise I’m safe. I need you to fill me up. I need to feel how good my pussy made you feel.”

“Goddamn it.”, Eddie grunted, pulling out and aggressively flipping you over onto your back before guiding himself back inside you. 

Your legs promptly wrapped around his waist and he pounded into you knowing he wasn’t going to last much longer. 

“Just like that, Daddy. I’m—fuck—M’gonna cum again. Cum with me.”

Balancing on his palms, his chocolate irises took in all of your beautiful features as they contorted in pleasure. It had been so long since he made a woman feel this good and he desperately wanted to please you. Your palms massaged along his slightly sore arms and his chest, gliding effortlessly over his bruises that were beginning to form from his fight earlier that night. 

None of that mattered. 

Every ache and pain he carried from the ring, disappeared as soon as you touched him and all he could focus on was the warmth that was you. 

“You’re so beautiful, sweetheart. I’ll give you what you want.”

Circling your arms around him, you pulled him against your body, needing to absorb him as he rolled his hips, grunting in your ear till you felt his release warm you deeper than any man you had before. The whine Eddie made as his fingers clung to your hair was enough to have the coil snap for the final time that night as your pussy tried to milk everything he had to give. 

You both laid there together silently intertwined for a good long while as you tried to catch your breaths. 

“Are you ok?”, you whisper.

Pushing up onto his elbows, his hand moves some stray hairs away from your sweaty face as he softly smiles down at you. 

“Yeah, baby, I’m good. Are you alright?”

“Yeah, a little sore.”, you answer as your eyes gesture between your bodies. 

“Shit, ok, um, I’ll go slow. Ready?” When you nodded, as gently as he could, he pulled out of your aching cunt, cooing praise at you as you winced. “Good. Good girl. We, um, I don’t have a shower in here but there are locker rooms with showers if you want or we can stay here of course.”

“I’d like to shower, please.”

The way you said please told him you were still coming down from that headspace causing your words to echo in his brain about how lonely it can be being stuck there and not being taken care of properly. 

Rising to his feet, he hastily helped you to yours before taking you in his arms and caring you to the locker room. 

“Thank you. I’m not too heavy?”

“Not at all, princess.”

You watch his face as he turns on the water and makes cute little faces as the cold water hits his hand first before steaming up the area. As he cleaned your skin, his tongue poked out the side of his mouth making a little giggle fall from yours. 

“What are you laughing at?”

“You.”, you smile. “You’re just really adorable.”

“Thank you? I think.”, he grins as he comes up to kiss your forehead.

After you’re both clean and back in his room, he pulls out the couch to turn it into a bed and places you on it before you notice him pause. 

“I, um, I just assumed you’d be falling asleep here. I’m sorry. Did…did you need to get home?”

“Um…” You meant what you said when it came to relationships. You weren’t ready to jump into a new one and when you let him bring you home you told yourself this was just going to be a onetime thing but you couldn’t deny there was something about this man that made you feel safe. Maybe you could just take things slow and see where it led. “No, I can stay.”

Eddie breathed a sigh of relief as he leaned down to kiss your lips. Throwing one his shirts over your frame, you laughed as he pulled on his boxers and obnoxiously jumped into bed.

With your head on his chest and his arm wrapped around you, the two of you talked till the sun slowly began to rise outside his window. 

##################

“I thought you were dead!”, Paige shouted as she lightly pushed your arm before getting up to hug you when she saw you walk into the restaurant you two were supposed to be meeting at. “You didn’t text me or anything and when I woke up you weren’t home.”

“I know! I’m so sorry. I got caught up with someone…”, you grin as your eyes bashfully meet hers.

“Oh, tell me everything.”

The two of you giggle as you regale her with the story of the previous night’s events as you swoon over the older boxer you met. 

“Ugh, well I’m glad something good came from boxing.”, she sassed, sticking out her tongue for emphasis. 

“Good lord, what is it with you and boxing? Were you once a fighter who lost her dream when another fighter broke your neck?”

“No, you movie nerd.”, she laughs. “My dad’s a boxer. I mean I guess you can call him that. He’s a mechanic but decided randomly to start training to fight.”

“Your dad the deadbeat?”

“Yeah. He went training 24/7 and it killed my mother. They stopped spending time together and when they were together they fought constantly. One day a few months ago, he was just gone and next thing I know they are getting a divorce.”

“I’m so sorry, Paige. I know how hard divorce is on a family.”

“He’s supposed to meet me today to get some more of his things. He doesn’t have a place right now and begged my mom to hold his stuff till he found something. I guess he’s won a good amount of matches because he told her the other day he’d saved enough money to finally move. My mom refuses to see him so I’m the messenger I guess.”

“Do you want me to lag behind so I can be your reason to leave? ‘Oh here’s my roommate. We have to go.’”, you joke.

“My saint. Would you please? Op, speak of the goddamn devil.”, she sighs as she flashes you her phone screen. “I’ll meet you outside.”

As she walks outside, you hurry to pay so she’s not alone for too long. Paige was a wonderful roommate and an even better friend. When you met her, you had just had your breakup and nowhere to go. She was sympathetic to your plight and helped you at your absolutely lowest. She got you get back on your feet and now after meeting Eddie, maybe things were finally on the right track again. 

“You don’t have to do this, sweetheart. I can drive down there and get my things myself. She shouldn’t be asking you to be the ‘middleman’. This is between me and your mother.”

“I don’t mind doing it after what you did to her. Imagine how she’d feel if you showed up covered in hickeys. Hide that shit better.”, Paige shouted as she slammed her trunk closed and her father lifted the collar of his jacket. “Whatever doesn’t fucking matter. All that matters to you now is yourself and your dreams, you fucking asshole.”

“Paige, please. Can we just talk so I can explain some things—”

“No, we can’t. My roommates here and we need to go home. Right, Y/N?”, she growls as she turns to face you. 

Your eyes widen as you come face to face with Paige’s “deadbeat” father. Eddie seems equally as surprised as his jaw falls open. 

“Th-This is the girl you moved in with?”, he whispered.

“What do you care? She’s my friend and mom loves her. Come on, Y/N.”

As your roommate, grips your arm and pulls you to her car, you struggle to take your eyes off the older man as his own irises sullenly follow.

Of course. How could I be so stupid to think things would get better? I should have refused the blind like I wanted to. If I had this would never have happened. I’m a fucking idiot. 

As Eddie watches his daughter speed away with the angel he met last night, he pulled the piece of paper you left by his nightstand with your phone number and a note saying you needed to meet your roommate for lunch but you would talk to him later. 

His heart fell into his stomach as the notion ran through his head that you may never want to speak with him again. 

################

@dashingdeb16 @myherometalhead @micheledawn1975 @hardladyheart @chelebelletx @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @paleidiot

[chocolateteepot]

#mmm#like yes good#ive also loved the idea that the camera panned on Loki BECAUSE he was the loved one that Thor betrayed#or like the only loved one that Thor would care he betrayed#thor#thor 1 (via @galaxythreads)

I love this shot because both are true. We know about Loki's machinations, but his manipulation of Thor was just him putting the idea out there that Thor could still do his murder campaign without his dad's permission. Thor wasn't tricked into doing a massacre, that was what he wanted to do all along, Loki just makes him realise he could still do it!

The Shakespearean tragedy of it all for Thor is that this manipulation only works if Thor is exactly as dangerously arrogant and reckless a warmonger as Loki is convinced he is. Which is why Loki does it in the first place. I also feel like his immediate facepalm after Thor takes the bait makes it look like it was a test? Thor taking the bait proves Loki right. I don't think anyone's even looking at him when he does this:

Is he just that committed to the bit? Or was he hoping Thor would prove him wrong? Thor also then dismisses Loki trying to talk him out of it.

At this point, as far as Thor knows; Loki tried to talk him out of going in the first place, then tries to get them out without bloodshed, then Thor blows the genuine GIFT of retreat Laufey just handed them becuase someone calls him a princess and goes full murder rampage.

Loki is one of the loved ones Thor just betrayed. He almost got his brother and friends killed, and he didn't even notice when one of them was gravely injured. He ignored them desperately calling for him to stop and retreat. He put his own selfish desire to 'teach the Jotuns a lesson' (and seeming just pure enjoyment of enacting it) above the safety of his friends and his little brother.

(His little brother who, ironically, would also have been injured if he hadn't secretly been Jotun all along.)

And I think that dynamic is particularly relevant here too - the whole 'older sibling feels real or imagined duty to protect their younger sibling' - for Thor and Odin. It's a specific kind of betrayal to find out you cannot trust your oldest child with the most basic safety of your youngest.

For Odin as a parent (if we can call him that), this must read as your arrogant, violent oldest son dragging his pacifying-voice-of-reason little brother into a war you expressly forbade him from starting.

Obviously, out of the group that Thor took with him, Loki is the most important - to Odin (for cynical reasons at least) and to Thor. And yeah, Thor betrayed Odin by going against his ruling (technically treason??? how many times has treason been committed in these films.) - and basically all of Asgard by starting a war - but the camera focuses on Loki. Because their wildly co-dependent relationship is Thor's most important one, because Loki is his younger sibling, and because Thor would feel guiltiest for betraying Loki specifically.

But also, tragically, Loki is the impetus. He lit the match, got the ball rolling to prove Thor would betray them all (including him) in this way, in order to prove him unfit to be king. Loki is the instrument of his own hurts, he had to prove Thor would hurt him in order to prove Thor would hurt him.

You’re unworthy!

[immortalmrwavell]

The Perfect Takeover

(Original story posted March 11th 2022) This story has been Updated!

It’d been about three years now since Ian and Mike had bought a flat together. The two had been good friends since high school so when it came time for them to leave home they decided, why not do it together! They were both single after all so it’d be easier to have a roommate to move in with. It seemed like the perfect arrangement. Two best buds getting to have a place all to themselves. What could go wrong!?

But of course, unbeknownst to Mike, Ian had a few ulterior motives when it came to them moving in together. Ones that extended far beyond just friendship. Much like Ian’s feelings for Mike.

To put simply, Ian had a crush on his current roommate Mike for years. It began way back when they were teens and over time as they both grew and matured, that crush only became stronger. Mike of course never knew, he didn’t even know Ian was gay for that matter. He never noticed how Ian would glance at his sweating frame after a workout. How Ian would have to hide a growing boner whenever he walked around shirtless. How Ian would dig his nose into Mike’s used tank tops and jockstraps when he wasn’t around. Mike innocently thought they were just two bros. Completely oblivious.

Recently however, Ian’s feelings for Mike had developed in an odd way. As time went by, Ian slowly began resenting his friend strangely enough. Not because Mike was a bad person or anything. No, quite the opposite in fact. Ian began to resent Mike because of just how perfect he was!

Mike was an incredibly handsome dude with a body just as incredible to match. Perfectly buff and hairy in all the right places with an outstanding beard that put Ian’s patchy one to shame. He had an amazing job doing what he loved, had a super attractive girlfriend and of course everyone simply adored him due to his bubbly, extroverted personality. All that just made Mike’s life so easy and almost everyday Ian would become more and more envious as he watched it play out in front of him. And he couldn’t even be mad about it because of how kind and fucking sexy Mike was!

That growing resentment did nothing dampen the lust he had for that man though. If anything it only made Ian desire Mike even more. His cock would always jump after catching even a whiff of Mike’s sweaty post work-out aroma. His eyes would always linger far too long on Mike’s jock butt. And most nights Ian would still find himself in bed jacking his dick furiously to the thought of his roommate! Usually while sniffing a pair of used underwear he’d stolen from the hamper of Mike’s dirty clothes.

Little did Ian know that a mysterious (and very horny) warlock had been watching over him for a short while now. Observing him while reading through his thoughts as memories…

Ian had been at work one particular day, sat at his desk typing away as usual. It’d been a very quiet day so far and it wouldn’t be long until his shift was over and he could head home. He grabbed his mug of coffee and was about to take a sip when…

“Ian West?” An unfamiliar voice spoke.

He practically jumped out of his skin, some coffee spilling on his pants at the sudden mention of his name from directly behind him. Spinning around in his chair, Ian came face to face with a handsome yet unrecognisable man. Ian had no idea how the guy had managed to sneak up on him like that. It was certainly eerie. He would’ve been more creeped out had this 40 something year old guy not had such an alluring look to him.

The man swiftly introduced himself at Mr Wavell, extending an arm out for a friendly handshake. Ian accepted Wavell’s hand, the touch of his palm feeling strangely comforting.

Wavell went on to reveal about how he knew of Ian’s situation with Mike and about his jealousy towards the man. Normally Ian would’ve been freaked out but as he gripped Wavell’s hand he couldn’t help but trust this stranger and listen to his words. Wavell then revealed that he had the perfect solution to Ian’s little jealousy crush dilemma before pulling out a small vial from inside his suit jacket. It was filled with a sparkly dark blue liquid.

“Drink this once Mike falls asleep tonight. After that don’t hesitate to straddle yourself on top of his slumbering body. If you do that then everything he is, everything you’ve longed for, will become yours.” With that Wavell hands over the strange vial to an intrigued Ian.

“Y-yes sir…” Ian responds, entranced by the man until he finally let go of the handshake. Wavell grins down at him as Ian catches his baring. The bewildered man was about to question the stranger further when suddenly, in the blink of an eye, he vanished into thin air. It was as if Wavell had been a mere figment of Ian’s imagination with the only proof he existed being the vial in Ian’s hand…

Later that evening Ian arrives home to find Mike and Ashley, his Girlfriend, sat in the living room watching some comedy tv show that Ashley loved. Ian said a quick hello to them both before heading to his room.

He sat on his bed after throwing off most of his clothes. He held the bottle tightly in hand as he thought about what that strange man had told him to do. He could have everything he longed for. Everything Mike had. It could all be his. He still wasn’t sure how exactly but he didn’t care. He wanted it. All of it,

And so he waited.

Hours passed and eventually he heard Mike leaving with Ashley to walk her home. Luckily she’d decided not to stay the night which made things a lot easier. It was only about 20 minutes or so until Mike returned and headed to his room where he presumably started getting ready for bed. Ian was patient of course. He waited a few more hours until just gone midnight before eventually sneaking out of his room and towards Mike’s.

Opening the door, Ian’s nose was greeted by the smell of men’s deodorant mixed with the subtle scent of male musk. That aroma was always quick to give him a hard-on. What really made his cock jump however was the sight before him. Mike sprawled out in bed, laying on his front in nothing but a tight pair of boxer briefs that clung to hunk’s ass. If he didn’t have any self control then he would’ve ripped open the back of those boxers and started pounding Mike’s ass right then and there.

But he needed to be smart about this. Slow and quiet was the way to go. That said nothing about what he was about to do would be considered smart by any means. Insane would be more like it. Yet he trusted the words of Mr Wavell more than anything. And so Ian crept towards the bed before gently crawling onto the mattress beside Mike.

Ian did his best not to salivate as he stared down at the delicious looking jock-butt beneath him. He couldn’t stop himself from reaching out though. With a nervous yet excited pounding in his chest, he grabbed hold of the two perfectly rounded cheeks. A wet stain formed against Ian’s shorts as he began gently squishing and squeezing Mike’s ass, his eyes fixed on it the whole time. Fuck it was so damn perfect. Of course it was. It was Mike. Everything about him was always perfect.

He was snapped out of his pervy ass groping trance when the man beneath him started to groan. Ian swiftly pulled his hands away, panicked that he may have woken Mike. Thankfully the man settled once again, allowing Ian to breathe a sigh of relief. Best not to push his luck any further.

Reaching a hand into his pocket, Ian whipped out the strange bottle that Mr Wavell had given him. All he had to do was drink it and lay on top of Mike and then he’d get exactly what he desired. Whatever that meant?… but he trusted Wavell and if he said that it would work then he believed him. Ian didn’t even think to question this blind trust he’d suddenly gained for this random stranger.

Twisting off the cap, Ian then proceeded to gulp down the entire bottle of liquid. After one large swallow, the liquid was gone. Ian shivered a little as he felt the contents of the bottle gliding down his throat and into his body. For some reason he was expecting something crazy to happen but he didn’t feel all that different besides a strange buzzing that felt akin to a sugar rush.

And so he proceeded with the next step. Ian gently placed his hands on Mike’s broad back. Gently running his fingers across the muscular contours with pleasure. Though as he did, he couldn’t help feeling immensely drawn to Mike. Not in the normal way though. It was as though he was literally magnetised to the man beneath him. And it felt so good. So right.

He spread his arms out, placing them carefully on top of Mike’s. He then let out a long shaken breath before allowing his chest to fall flat across Mike’s back. A small smirk forming on his lips as the bulge in his shorts snuggled perfectly against Mike’s plump cheeks. Not being able to help humping ever so slightly. However, as Ian aligned his legs with the muscular ones beneath, his roommate began to stir…

“Huh?… the fuck is-UGH” Mike grunted as he felt Ian’s bulging crotch press itself against his ass. “What the fuck!? Ian is that you? GET THE FUCK OFF ME MAN!” Mike demanded, his voice full of anger and disgust. He wanted to jump up and throw his roommate off his back but, as he tried to move, his body felt weak and unresponsive. It was almost like sleep paralysis if the demon was a horny freak that wanted to fuck him.

Ian on the other hand seemed to be lost in some kind of euphoric pleasure. His entire body racked with ecstasy as he pressed harder against Mike. Even kissing the man’s neck a little despite his roommates protests. He was so engrossed in the sensation that he didn’t even notice his arms and hands beginning to sink inside Mike’s…

Mike’s anger very quickly turned to fear as he could both feel and see in the corner of his eye what was happening. He began shouting all kinds of obscenities mixed with pleas, all of which fell upon deaf ears. Soon enough he completely lost control of his arms once Ian’s had sunk all the way in.

Meanwhile Ian was still too busy dry humping Mike’s butt to even notice. It was only once his legs began to do the same that Ian finally snapped back to reality. He panicked a little upon noticing that all his limbs had disappeared inside his roommate's body but then as he tried to move what would’ve been his own arm, Mike’s larger one responded. It was only a twitch at first but very quickly Mike’s hands and arms began moving to Ian’s will!

Mike could only turn his head, watching and feeling in pure terror as his arms and legs betrayed him. Seeing as they obeyed Ian’s will over his own. Ian on the other hand went from being a little scared to completely ecstatic in a second once he realised what was going on. A mad grin formed across his face. So this is what Mr Wavell meant. To have everything he longed for.

With his new control, Ian used Mike’s muscular arm to reach around and press his torso further down onto Mike’s broad back below in hopes this would speed up the process. His assumption was correct as moments after he could feel his chest and stomach begin to sink down. His hips and waist followed suit not long after as he continued humping Mike’s ass. Ian’s body began to faze through the fabric of his shorts and Mike’s boxers, allowing his cock to finally slide between Mike’s ass cheeks and touch that quivering virgin hole he’d dreamt of for years.

His straight roommate howled out in pain as Ian instinctively buried his cock deep inside the bubbly hairy ass. He couldn’t stop himself rocking back and forth in an attempt to fuck Mike’s hole despite the growing attachment of their bodies. Ian didn’t get long however as soon enough his dick began fusing into the hunks body too and becoming one with his roommates much heftier dick.

Mike grumbled and pleaded through strained breaths, not being able to stop his manhood from growing harder as Ian took control of it. His possessed cock throbbed bigger and harder with Ian’s arousal pumping through it. So much so that it began to leak pre-cum into Mike’s briefs. All the while Ian’s ass and hips were being pulled down until his entire body from below the neck had been submerged.

Ian could feel every sensation racing through Mike’s larger, hairier body. The way his muscles moved. The way his body hair brushed against the mattress below. The way his asshole winced after being forcefully penetrated. He’d gained almost complete control! Now there was only one last thing to do. Mike begged and begged but there was nothing he could do to stop Ian pressing his face down into the back of his head. Mike’s terrified face went slack and his eyes rolled back as his entire body began to shake and convulse. The last of Ian’s real body fazed inside Mike, both their visions then going black.

The next thing Ian knew, he found himself waking to the unfamiliar feeling of a beard on his face as it brushed against the bed. Even more notable was his body. He felt so large and furry. So manly.

He was just about to try and sit up when his body was suddenly racked with the most intense pleasure he’d ever felt. The feeling was so powerful he could barely move. Each and every nerve in his newfound body sent continuous signals of euphoria to his brain. So much so that Ian wasn’t able to contain his animalistic instinct as he started humping the bed below like a dog in heat. Thrusting his fat bulge aggressively against the mattress. It didn’t take long for him to let out a deep roar before nutting uncontrollably, completely staining the front of the briefs he was now wearing. The orgasm was so powerful in fact that mere moments after Ian lost consciousness once more…

———

Soon enough the morning rolled around as sunlight beamed into the room. Ian’s eyes fluttered open, feeling groggy and a little drained. His mind was still fuzzy as he slowly came around. Though it didn’t take long for him to become acutely aware once again of how strange and heavy his body felt. He was confused for a moment as he looked around to see Mike’s bedroom instead of his own. It was only when one of his now larger hands reached up to touch the beard on his face that everything came flooding back. The memory was hazy but he could remember it. He sank inside Mike. He took everything!

His once groggy eyes shot open as he pushed himself upright. “Fuuuck… I-I can’t believe it!?” Ian muttered as he ran a hand across the same furry pecs he used to admire and jerk off too almost every night. He grunted at the sensitivity of his new nipples, especially the left pierced one. It was easily enough to make his new dick twitch. Mike’s juicy cock.

Looking down at the obscene bulge in his roommate's damp sticky underwear, Ian wasted absolutely no time whipping out his new cock. He was desperate to see what Mike had been packing all these years and by god was he not disappointed. Immediately he began pumping his shaft, admiring its length and girth. It was so much fatter than his old dick. Because of course it was. It was Mike’s. And as he jacked his cock, he couldn’t help rubbing his free hand across his new face, delighting in his new handsome features. Fuck he needed to see it all.

With that Ian pushed himself up and off the bed. He stumbled a little at first but quickly adjusted to his new size and weight, even getting off on it a little. He walked across the apartment and into the living room, stroking himself the whole way until he reached that full length mirror that Mike always used to check himself out after a workout.

He stood in front of the mirror, completely enchanted by his own reflection. Looking back at him was the very man he’d drooled over for years. The man he’d grown to both love and envy. The man who ended up becoming his close friend and roommate despite all that. Looking back at him was… Mike.

He groped at every bulge, ridge and sensitive spot he could find on his new self. His fatter cock bucked with excitement as he got to watch Mike’s body worship itself under his command. As he was exploring however, his hands were bound to wander to his backside eventually. What he didn’t expect however was for his new hole to be so damn sensitive!

After giving his bubbly cheeks a firm squeeze and a shake, Ian’s right index finger began to curiously probe at his new virgin hole. The moment it slid inside, an electric feeling rushed through his entire body. His old ass had never felt this incredible! Before long Ian couldn't help shoving his finger as deep as it would go causing him to moan like a bitch in heat with Mike’s deep voice. It was a bit painful sure with how inexperienced Mike’s ass was but the pleasure far overshadowed that. He just couldn’t believe a hole like this was being wasted on a straight guy!? It’s like this ass was begging for dick all its life!!

“Well I could help with that desire…” A familiar voice from across the room claimed, startling Ian into pulling his finger out with a small yelp. Sat on a chair in the corner of the room was the same man who’d given him that vial. Mr Wavell… but did he just read Ian’s thoughts? And how the hell did he even get in here? Ian could’ve sworn he was alone and yet there Wavell was with his cock out though the zipper of his khaki pants, jerking it slowly.

“Really? I gave you a potion that allowed you to possess this hunk’s body and you think I can’t do other ‘impossible’ things like simple invisibility?” Wavell replied after seemingly reading Ian’s mind once again. “Now, since I was the one that helped you obtain such an incredibly handsome body, I was hoping you might be willing to return the favour?” He glanced down at his cock with a smirk before glancing back at Ian.

Ian knew there were so many questions he should’ve been asking right about now. However, all of his prior thoughts gradually ceased the more he focused on the other man’s enormous juicy cock. It looked so damn enticing… maybe Wavell was right, he didn’t need to ask questions… he just had to thank him for giving him this body…

With that Ian marched over to where Wavell was sitting in an almost hypnotic fashion, his own cock bouncing as he did. He dropped to his knees before grabbing the thick meaty rod before him. Even Ian’s new larger hands struggled to wrap around the full girth of it. He then looked up at the man above, receiving a nod of confirmation, before wrapping his lips around the cock and sucking on it with vigour and passion.

“Fuuck boy! That’s it! Put that sexy new mouth of yours to good use…” Wavell grunted, placing a hand on top of Ian’s head and being sure to push his face right down, the beard hairs tickling against Wavell’s trimmed bush. Almost immediately Ian began to gag, his new body not conditioned for dick sucking quite like his old one. Noticing this, Wavell places a hand gently on Ian’s throat. His hand glows for a moment before letting go. “There, that should make you the perfect cock sucker.” The warlock grinned as he began to throat fuck Ian who was now taking it like a hungry cock sucking champ! Mike’s gag reflex had been almost completely wiped.

“Mmmppff! Mmhmmpf! Mmhmmmmmhppff…” Ian groaned onto the cock. The more he deepthroated Wavell’s massive shaft, the more his mind flooded with dick, dick and more dick! He loved it though as he did his absolute best to please the man who gave him this perfect body.

“Ooh yeah that’s perfect…” Wavell cooed as he rubbed Ian’s head gently. “But let’s see how well that ass of yours can do in comparison.” He pulled Ian’s mouth off his cock in one swift motion leaving it slick with saliva. He couldn’t help smirking cockily as he watched a tiny bit of precum drip down Ian’s lip. “Get over there and lay on the couch face down.” He ordered sternly.

Ian did exactly as he was told. With the taste of dick still in his mouth, he eagerly jumped onto the couch before lying down with his ass up in the air.

Wavell got up from his chair and followed behind. As soon as Ian was ready, Wavell shifted onto the couch himself, kneeling above Ian’s stolen body in all its hairy muscular glory. Then ,without a second thought, the warlock spread Ian’s furry ass cheeks before inspecting what used to be Mike’s hole. It seemed tight but at the same time so hungry and sensitive like it was begging to be used. Ian was right. A hole like this shouldn’t be wasted.

Ian yelped as he felt Wavell’s own bearded face dive between his cheeks, his tongue attacking the sensitive soon to be entrance. It was certainly one of the tastiest holes he’d had in awhile. That and hearing Ian’s satisfied murmurs got his cock more and more riled up. So much so that before long he was practically tongue fucking the young hunk as he writhed on the couch.

Once he was satisfied, Wavell gave that delicious ass one final lick from taint to hole before sitting up again and giving his wet cock a few hearty strokes. “You want my cock inside you Mike?” Wavell teased, using Mike’s name rather than Ian’s to rile up the man below him even further. “You want me to fill you up to the brim?”

“Oh fuck yes! Please! Fuuuuck my ass needs cock so badly” Ian pleaded as he arched his back some more, pushing his ass closer to Wavell’s crotch. “Please breed my straight hole sir…” He muttered.

“Well… since you’ve been such a good boy…” Wavell whispered as he aligned his cock with Ian’s hole. “I’ll breed you nice and deep.” He finished before gently pushing the tip of his cock inside.

Ian whimpered and groaned in an intense mix of pain and pleasure as his new sensitive hole was slowly stretched beyond anything it’d ever felt before. The groans only got deeper and louder and Wavell slowly but surely pressed more and more of himself inside. Despite the underlying pain, Ian was loving every second! It just felt so right for his hole to stretch and welcome a fat cock like Wavell’s. Ian yelped out again in surprise however as Wavell got impatient, suddenly thrusting the last couple inches inside as his balls slapped Ian’s ass.

From there Ian’s entrance had already begun to adjust. As Wavell slowly started to pump in and out of that delicious hole, it became less and less painful. His fast adjustment was partly due to Mike’s body being naturally inclined to taking dick while also receiving a helping hand from Wavell’s magic. Before long Ian was moaning out like a big hairy muscle slut as all that was left was the pure pleasure of being filled completely by a thick rod. This was what Mike’s ass had been made for. Cock. It was like this body had just been waiting to get taken over by someone who’d use it for its real purpose.

The two continued to fuck for a good hour or more. Flipping back and forth into all sorts of different sex positions. Making sure Wavell’s cock was able to hit each and every last sweet spot inside Ian’s new ass. Eventually they ended right back in the same position they started in with Ian laid face down and Wavell lying on top. Only now it wasn’t gentle. Now Wavell was jackhammering furiously into the hole beneath him while planting kisses along Ian’s back. And after all that, Wavell’s huge balls were finally ready to spill.

“Come on boy. Tell me you want my load inside you. Tell me you crave it.” Wavell purred lustfully.

“Fuuuuuck please give me your load! My fat hairy ass needs it! Please!” Ian begged, earning a large grin from the powerful warlock mounting him.

Wavell continued thrusting deep, making sure his balls smacked every time as that familiar tension in his groin grew. Then, with one last thrust and a loud triumphant groan, Wavell busted a massive load completely flooded Ian’s insides. The load was so big in fact that within seconds the cum had already begun to leak out of Ian’s hole around Wavell’s cock. Ian felt absolutely full to the brim, stuffed full of thick seed and he adored the feeling. So much so that his own dick had begun spurting hands free mere moments after being bred.

The pair simply laid there for a moment, basking in the sweaty smell of man sex. After soaking up the afterglow, Wavell finally pushed himself up. He dislodged his cum soaked cock from the leaking hole with an amused grin, watching as more cum drooled out when he did. He stared down at the panting hunk beneath him. Then without saying anything he walked around and put his dick in front of Ian’s face again. Ian already knew what he had to do. He wrapped his lips around the beautiful cock once more in order to lick it clean of all the delicious cum left on it.

“I knew I was right to choose you.” Wavell began as Ian finished cleaning his cock. “It’s not every day I get a good fuck out of my experiments you know. That said, I'm certain you’ll be even more perfect than the original Mike was.” He claimed as he stroked a gentle hand through Ian’s thick new beard.

With that he pushed his manhood back into his trousers before turning to the mirror. He hadn’t taken his clothes off for the entire time the two had fucked. He enjoyed keeping them on sometimes but now they were a complete mess and covered in sweat. That wouldn’t do at all. As much as he loved a little sweat, he always preferred to look and smell presentable. And so, with a mere flick of his wrist, Wavell’s clothes fixed themselves in a flash. Any and all sweat stains vanished in the process as even his dishevelled hair restyled itself perfectly. Ian could only watch wonder from the couch, his ass too destroyed to even move at the moment.

“Well I think it’s about time I bid you adieu Ian.” Wavell stated as he swiveled around in front of the mirror, checking himself out from every angle to make sure his little spell had fixed everything. “But I’ll be back to check up on you at some point. Just to make sure you’re getting in alright with Mike’s life and body. And who knows, maybe we’ll have some more fun.” He winked, waltzing back over and giving Ian’s ass a slap.

Ian was lost for words. He could only stare up at this mysterious man. He had the power to turn dreams into reality as though it were easy. A mere snap of his fingers was enough to make anything possible! And that very same man just gave him the railing of a lifetime. Before he could even think of anything to say in response, Wavell vanished before his eyes. One second he was there, the next he wasn’t. It was as simple as that.

It took awhile after that for Ian to catch his bearing and regain his strength. After a good 20 minutes or so, he finally pushed himself up off the couch and slowly made his way towards the bathroom. Hobbling his way down the corridor and up the stairs while holding his sore backside.

Once there he flicked on the shower and watched as hot water came gushing out, already beginning to steam up the room. Just before he stepped under however, he turned and took one more look at himself in the bathroom mirror. He still couldn’t believe it. He really was Mike. All the buff, hairy muscle he’d envied for these years. The gorgeous bearded face. Even the sick tattoos. It all belonged to him. And there was nothing in the world he could’ve wanted more.

Flashing himself a cheeky grin in the mirror, Ian finally hopped into the shower and began planning out how exactly he was gonna live his new life. He couldn’t wait to get into the gym and start working out like Mike did. Something about being in this body just made him wanna pump iron and watch sports like the original Mike did.

That said, one thing that definitely had to change was Mike’s girlfriend. She was a nice girl so Ian was gonna try and let her down easy the next chance he got. After that he could come out as gay to everyone! And once that was out in the open, with good looks like these, it shouldn’t be hard to find another hot dude who wants to fuck this juicy bubble butt of his everyday. Although, after having Wavell’s mature cock inside him, he was sorta craving having another older guy just like him.

Regardless he had plenty of time to figure things out. A whole lifetime in fact. A perfect lifetime.

[writingwisterias]

Each Era of Leon and their first date with you

WARNINGS: Fluff, Fem!Reader

RE2,RE4R, Damnation, Infinite Darkness, Vendetta, RE6, Death Island

(not proof read was bored at my dads and did this quickly lmao)

RE2:

Leon sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror for the 100th time, his keys jingling as he pocketed them.

He swore his heart was going to explode with how fast it was beating, the idea of a first date still seemed stranger after everything he had been through.

His fist shook as he knocked on the door to your house, the stained glass window was decorated with flowers. The walkway lined with small flowers was the perfect family home, something he again assumed would be something to give away after he signed his life away to the government.

Your outfit was different from what you wore at the office, your frame decorated in a soft flowery dress, "Hey, you look nice" you spoke sweetly the door shutting behind you.

He couldn't stop the blush that lingered on his cheeks, the smile that grew impossibly wide as he linked his arm with yours. It felt nice; the weight of your arm in his...it felt right. "So do you" he stuttered out, cringing at the shakiness of his voice.

Once he finally settled in the restaurant, his nervous chatter reduced. You smiled as he talked enthusiastically about your interests, offering pointers and tips on how to help with the garden. Even offering his own help to you.

He somehow stumbled his way through the date for you to offer him a second one, departing the night with a simple kiss on his growing red cheeks.

RE4R:

After everything he's been through, he fought hard with himself to hold the slight shake in his hands.

Checking himself over briefly before going out, his outfit was casual but practical. A new warm jacket draped over his form since he lost his other one in Spain.

His knock is firmer, he's hand tucked in his pockets as he waits for you to leave your house. Not looking at the door, only looking at his feet.

It's only when he sees you his breath falters, your hair curled nicely falling across your shoulders, your dress showing off your form perfectly. "wow" is all he managed to get out, his smile growing at the dust of pink that showed up.

He's cracking jokes the entire evening, small puns here and there as he checks the menu for what he wants.

Pays for the whole thing, maybe would let you pay for the tip.

You already knew he was in for a second date..he didn't even need to ask

Infinite Darkness:

Most relaxed out of all of them, he was confident he looked good, opting for a shirt and jeans. His trusty leather jacket thrown over his shoulders.

He's looking at the door when he knocks, his body is still stiff but there's no obvious signs of being nervous

Smiling before you even made eye contact, hand on your waist as he leads you away.

Opting for a more low-key casual date in case he gets called away on a mission so he takes you to a coffee shop.

Paying for everything again, I'm sure he has so much money and no one to spoil.

But more touchy than the other ones, hands on your lower back as he guides you to a table, small touches of his fingers as he walks next to you.

If he's feeling bold enough he would kiss you, his hand weaving in your hair as he brings you closer.

Damnation:

Despite his grumpier tone during this film and his drinking habits in full force. He would try and do everything in his power to show up sober and not hungover.

This would mean he's slightly more nervous, not just because of the lack of sleep since he didn't drink the night before but also because it's first time he's been open with someone like this for a while.

Would be the easiest person to deal with at the start of the night, very closed off when he picks you up. However he does manage to compliment you though, his cheeks blushing when you return the favour

His humor is dry having lost the will to keep going it became more depressing but you didn't seem to mind. He instead started to view you as a light in the darkness.

So much so that he doesn't want the night to end. Dragging it out by going on a walk buying hot drinks and enjoying the simple conversations.

This is when his guard slips and you see past the tuff exterior he built to survive the harsh world.

His kiss at the end of the night is simple, but leave an impression on you along with a promise for more

Vendetta:

We all know he's the most depressed out of all the eras, so he wouldn't really care too much in his appearance. He's just shocked you even took enough interest.

I imagine it's more after the events of the movie where he's slightly on the brighter side.

He wouldn't talk about his job, using the date as an excuse to get away from it.

Very touchy, probably the only time he's realized how touched starved he actually is.

Drinking, he would probably try to avoid it during the night. He doesn't want to give you the wrong idea but towards the end he eventually gives in..not quiet content enough to go sober.

His kiss is sloppy but meaningful; a lot of his unspoken feelings about you given in the last moment with the kiss..leaves you begging for more.

You feel like you still don't really know him but know him enough to want to go for a second date

RE6:

Defiantly had a drink before he left, his outfit is scruffy and doesn't put too much thought into it. At least he put aftershave on though!

His knock on the door is firm and confident, smiling instantly when he sees you and almost escorts you to the car.

Opted for a nice restaurant making sure he booked a booth so he could have this moment without other people looking at him and you.

His conversations are mainly about your interests again, dealing out a couple of his own hobbies without giving away a lot of what he does...not fully trusting you to handle that information yet.

Keeps his drinking to the minimum, wanting to actually remember the events.

Drives you home but you stay in the car a bit longer, the conversation seemingly flowing a lot easier in this situation.

Kisses you passionately again, cradling your face as he does it.

DEATH ISLAND:

He's more nervous this time around, putting in more thought into his clothing..scolding himself for being so nervous.

Sober when he picks you up and during the entire date.

Is the most open with you off the bat about his interests but is still blunt with his job.

Picks you up on his bike but tells you before hand so you can dress appropriately.

Smiling the entire time he's driving you to the location, he loves how your hands tighten around him as he goes faster. The feeling of you pressed so closely to him

His heart melts when you exclaim how much fun it is!

Very big on touching, but always asking permission before he does.

Kisses you after you get off the bike, not driving away until he sees you have gotten in the house safe.

[nagaytoe]

Periculum

Solivan Brugmansia X Reader

TW: implied drugging, manipulation

Word count: 1.4k

I can't be the only one wondering how on earth Sol is gonna explain himself on day 3 after the 8-point-required ending, that's why i decided what i think might happen!

BY THE WAY: i take request, so if anyone is interested, feel free to ask me :3

SPOILERS FOR TKATB DAY 1+2 REVAMPED

Periculum

(Noun) [Latin] Danger

Warm rays of sunlight graze your face as you slowly wake up, laying on your side.

What time is it? Why didn't your alarm go off?

You try to reach over to your bedside table but notice arms wrapped around your waist and someone spooning you, their chest pressed to your back snugly enough that you can faintly feel their heartbeat.

What the hell?

You feel panic rising up, an uncomfortable feeling settling in the pit of your stomach. The arms only tighten around you as soon as you try to break free from the grasp you currently find yourself in. Looking over your shoulder, you see none other than Sol, causing the feeling of panic to subside but one of confusion to settle in.

You sure as hell weren't cuddling yesterday evening. Wait, what happened yesterday evening anyways? You can't seem to recall, but you're pretty sure that you didn't go to bed with Sol.

In an attempt to wake him, you call out his name, but to no avail. You shake his arms that are still snaked around you, calling out to him yet again.

Sol's eyes flutter open and he looks at you with an adorning look in his eyes and a smile gracing his handsome face.

“Hey… good morning, [____]”

“Good…morning?” You ponder for a moment, before speaking up again.

“Sol, i really think we should get going, we still have classes today-”

His grip tightens at your inquiry, “Don't worry about it. You're probably still shaken up from what happened back at the arcade, right? Perhaps we should skip, how does that sound?”

He seems to snuggle even closer, signalizing that he would most likely not accept any answer other than accepting his request.

“Sol..” you sigh, aware that it wasn't a good idea. You need your studies, how else are you going to help your father? Even though, Sol might be right about one thing: You really are exhausted, but are yesterday's events at the arcade really the cause for that?

“We already skipped the last period yesterday, we can't skip again, especially not a whole day.”

You pry on his arms again and Sol eventually lets you go, although reluctantly. Sitting up and turning to face him, you decide to ask him one of the first questions that came to your mind after waking up, despite feeling a little uneasy about it.

“Hey… uhm, what happened yesterday evening?”

Sol raises his brow, looking up at you.

“You don't remember?”

His confused, almost disappointed, tone only serves to make you feel even queasier.

"No…? I mean, I remember that we were eating dinner but everything after that is… gone? I just can't seem to recall what we did afterwards…” You grow flustered. What the hell transpired between you two that apparently caused Sol and you to cuddle but you just can't seem to remember?

“You fell asleep.” Sol explains, “In the middle of the conversation at that. I was really worried about you, y'know? It was probably the exhaustion after what happened at the arcade finally settling in, which is understandable but also precisely the reason why I would like for you to rest a little.”

What? Never before have you fallen asleep just like that…but then again, you have never been attacked like that either…

Still, despite his comforting, caring tone you can't seem to shake off the feeling that something is wrong.

Before you could respond Sol continued, “I carried you to bed, I'd say that's a whole lot more comfortable than sleeping on a chair.” He chuckles, trying to ease the tension, since it doesn't slip past him how on edge you seem right about now.

“That… that was really nice but…it doesn't really explain why… um, you're sleeping next to me..” you can't help but mumble that last part, too flustered, almost embarrassed, by the predicament you currently find yourself in. You weren't the type to cuddle with just anyone, especially not with people you have known since a few days. The thought makes you uncomfortable, it's just not like you at all.

Sol chuckles a little, looking at you in awe with a blush of his own.

Oh how much he would like to tell you what happened, what he did, what he would do for you. How he knows that the two of you belong together, that you're his, even though you are yet to realize that.

“You were squirming and mumbling in your sleep the entire time, I thought you had a nightmare and quite frankly, I didn't want to leave you all alone after what transpired earlier on. You understand, don't you? I apologize if this made you uncomfortable, but if the roles were reversed, would you have left me alone, shaking like a leaf?”

No, you wouldn't have left him. Would you have cuddled him? You are not sure. Perhaps he only meant to stay with you for a few moments but accidentally fell asleep. That must be it, right?

You were too quiet for too long for Sol's liking. Did you hate him now? You can't hate him, you could never hate him, could you? The two of you were Soulmates, there is no way one could hate the other, is there?

“...[____]?”

You snap out of your thoughts, your gaze turning back to meet his vermillion eyes.

“Sorry, I just-” you bury your face in your hands, “You only meant well, didn't you? I probably caused you some trouble by having you feel obligated to stay here with me, that wasn't my intention. You need your studies as well and shouldn't miss them just for my sake.”

You really are horrible. How could you think that Sol potentially meant any harm? How could you feel so uneasy? How can you still feel a little queasy, despite him explaining what happened?

Is it because deep down you know that he is not telling you the entire truth?

“[____], you will never be a burden to me, please remember that. I will gladly miss my studies if it means I can be by your side.” Sol smiles gently and takes hold of your wrists, pulling them back and revealing your face to him.

“You really should rest, though. I'll be here, right by your side… If you let me.”

He wraps his bigger hands around yours. They're warm and still bruised from yesterday.

Sol did so much for you. He fought off 4 guys just to make sure they can't harm you and now he offers to miss his classes for your sake. He is sweet, sickly sweet, he doesn't seem to care about others as much as he cares about you. How can a single person grow on you this much in the span of two days?

It's surely because you are made for each other, two halves of a whole who finally found each other.

You nod slowly, leaning towards him to hug him tightly. A hug is the least you can give him after everything he has already done for you. Sol wraps his big strong arms around you, stroking the back of your head in a comforting manner.

Luckily, you can't see the wicked smile on Sol's face. He has you right where he wants you. With time you will grow more and more reliant on him, but worry not, for he will take care of you, he always will.

“Are you still tired?” You nod in response, properly laying down while still hugging him. “Sleep some more then. I'll be here when you wake up.”

It doesn't take long for you to fall asleep in his embrace, not caring about your prior discomfort caused by the very same action. Sol feels happy, truly happy, ecstatic even. You've known him for two days and yet you're almost putty in his hands, believing whatever he says, though, to be fair, why wouldn't you? He has no reason to lie to you, now does he? He only wants what's best for the two of you, after all.

Perhaps you are too trusting, but Sol will make sure to protect you from everyone who may take advantage of that.

…Though perhaps the only one you need to be protected from is Sol himself.

[korrasera]

None of the above is actually true, that's not how politics works, and posts like these aren't rooted in an understanding of what actually carried Trump to victory in the 2024 election. They're just the blame game 2.0.

Why? Because the idea of the moderate or centrist voter is largely a myth.

For a few reasons:

The people who actually call themselves centrist or moderate are a relative minority. They don't form a bloc that decides elections.

People don't flip their votes. A moderate that votes conservative in one election is going to vote conservative in the next election, or not vote at all.

Changing your voting preference is a long-term process that happens over the course of a lifetime, if ever. Most people find their preference and stick to it, never to change.

Elections in the US are much more about giving people who want to vote for your candidate an actual reason to vote. It's about mobilizing, not reaching across the aisle.

It might feel good to say that the left sucks at recruiting people from the middle, but it's fiction. In reality, it's very hard for anyone to find any kind of real political education in this country and that means there's always going to be a small group of people who vote with the base they most identify with but don't feel like they understand things well enough to call themselves liberal, conservative, Democrat, or Republican.

That's not including the people who call themselves moderate or centrist out of ego and the need to feel better than their peers, but that's a discussion for another time.

Are there people on the left that act like total jackwagons to anyone who doesn't follow their narrow version of what leftism is? Sure, just like there are still plenty of people who call themselves leftists who are horribly antisemitic.

The problem is, those leftist jackwagons are a small minority. There are things they can impact, but they can't really impact recruitment from the middle because there isn't really such a thing as recruitment from the middle.

So.

You're going to see everyone making posts like this over the coming weeks. Posts that find a way to blame some group or another for Harris's loss.

Most of them are going to be total fiction that just blame the same people that the author was blaming before the election. That's the bias talking, not the clear and open eyes of someone trying to understand what happened.

Be skeptical. And educate people with the facts, not feelings.

PS:

Here are a couple of articles that break down some of the basics of these myths:

The left SUCKS at recruiting people. And so many of you are part of the problem.

The talk about centrists and moderates being the literal devil I see constantly in online leftist spaces is one great example of the left's failure. Yes, it sucks when the people don't see how horrible the right is. But centrists are some of the most open people to discussion- and some already lean left!!

You can't demonize moderates to such an extent that you close yourself off to them and then wonder why you're losing swing states.

Centrists aren't even always people with all the privileges- you will find plenty of people who are part of marginalized groups who are concerned about politicians on all sides.

You can be a smol radical leftist bean all you want who only talks to other smol socialist and communist beans, but you're never going to make the difference you want to in the world that way. It's the cold, hard truth. It doesn't mean you have to engage in discourse with everyone- some people have no real hope of changing and are emotionally draining- just more than your bubble.

I am tired of the left eating itself alive and deranged people like Trump winning.

[hoe4hotchner]

Hi!! If you still take requests could I request Hotch helping a fellow bau member after she tried to hide her ocd from him (like intrusive thoughts, counting and blinking hard etc not cleaning or contamination ocd)

Thanks! xoxo 🧡🧡

Blink twice, tap four times, hold your breath and count to six | [A.H]

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x bau!gn!Reader | WC: 0.5k  | CW: OCD | Summary: Hotch reasures reader when he notices their OCD being a little more frequent than usual |

You were certain you’d been subtle about it, always careful to keep your mind’s demands invisible. Blinking patterns, counting in repetitive loops, moving your fingers until they felt “right” — these things were all in the quiet spaces, hidden behind closed doors and the shuffle of paperwork. Or so you thought.

But Hotch was observant, maybe too observant for your own good. It started with small things: his brow creasing when you tapped your fingers on the table during briefings, his quiet gaze following when you seemed lost in thought, counting silently to bring calm. You brushed it off, certain he was just being his usual analytical self, until the day his concern broke through the usual boundaries he had set for himself.

It was late, everyone else had gone home for the night. You’d been poring over files, a trail of cold coffee cups beside you, trying to distract yourself from the prickling anxiety that had settled in your mind since a particularly tough case. Then it happened again — blink twice, tap four times, hold your breath and count to six, over and over. You weren’t sure how long you’d been repeating it, but when you looked up, Hotch was standing in the doorway to the conference room — You sometimes worked on your files in there to keep your mind on track.

“Can I come in?” he asked gently.

You cleared your throat, swallowing the reflexive answer to brush him off. “Of course.”

He entered, closing the door behind him, the soft click echoing in the quiet room. You half-expected a reprimand, a reminder to go home and rest, but his gaze was unusually soft, something between empathy and understanding.

“I noticed you’ve been… distracted lately,” he began, his words careful. “More than usual.”

The confession sat on the edge of your tongue, bitter and unwelcome. “It’s nothing. I just get… caught up sometimes.”

He nodded slowly as if weighing your answer. “We all have our patterns,” he said, his voice low and calm. “But if they’re weighing on you, you don’t have to hide them. Not from me.”

The words caught you off-guard. Your heart pounded, the intrusive thoughts flaring up in response to his kindness, an immediate discomfort in your chest at the vulnerability.

“Hotch, I don’t want anyone to think… that I can’t handle this.” The admission tumbled out, quieter than you’d intended. “Sometimes, my brain… it gets stuck in loops. It makes me repeat things to feel okay.”

He nodded as though he’d known it all along. “You’re one of the most resilient agents I know. But you don’t have to manage all of this alone.” He took a seat beside you, close enough that you could feel his presence. “If something is weighing on you, I want you to tell me. I can help.”

There was a soothing rhythm to his words, one that almost matched the way you counted, but softer and kinder. You swallowed, fighting the wave of embarrassment that rose at the idea of admitting everything. But his hand, warm and steady, rested on yours.

“I don’t think less of you,” he continued his voice barely a murmur. “In fact, I have more respect for you than you realize. What you’re dealing with doesn’t make you weak — it shows your strength.”

You closed your eyes, letting his words settle in your mind like stones sinking to the bottom of a pond.

“Thank you,” you whispered, the words carrying all the gratitude you hadn’t known you were holding.

[aceyalonso]

F1 drivers if they were on the r/AITAH subreddit

drivers : oscar piastri, lando norris, charles leclerc, lewis hamilton, carlos sainz, max verstappen, george russell, franco colapinto

warnings/notes : jos verstappen 🤮

a/n : i know i said i was on hiatus but c'mon this was such a fun idea

main masterlist | taglist form

So this might sound weird, but here goes. My girlfriend and I (both 23) love visiting new places, and she’s a big animal lover. She found this adorable cat café nearby and has been talking about going for weeks. I wasn’t as excited but figured it’d be fun to surprise her, so I booked us a spot and thought I’d try to make it extra special.

Here’s the thing: I wanted to be "that guy" who shows up with a bag of cat treats so all the cats would flock to us. It sounds ridiculous, but my goal was to make her day. When we got there, I pulled out the treats and instantly had a few cats’ attention. My girlfriend laughed, but within a few minutes, an employee came over, looking annoyed, and told me I couldn't give the cats treats from outside.

Apparently, they have specific diets or something, and I was "interfering." I apologized, put the treats away, and thought that was the end of it. But soon after, another employee came up, saying we were being "disruptive" because all the cats were lingering around us, and they even hinted we might need to leave if it didn’t stop. I hadn’t meant to cause a scene and told them it wasn’t a big deal—we’d stop and just hang out like everyone else. But by this point, my girlfriend was pretty embarrassed, and it killed the vibe of our day.

We left a bit earlier than planned, and now my girlfriend thinks it was a bit of a jerk move, even though she appreciated the effort. I didn’t mean to upset anyone or break the rules, just thought it’d be fun to make the cats a bit more social. But now I’m wondering if I messed up by not sticking to the café’s way of doing things.

So, AITAH?

Edit: I’ve learned my lesson. I will never underestimate the dietary regulations of a cat café ever again.

So, I (24M) have this bad habit of forgetting what’s in my fridge. A while ago, I bought some chicken, but I totally forgot about it, and it just sat there for months. I was cleaning out my fridge the other day and found the chicken at the back, and it still looked fine to me—didn’t smell bad, didn’t look weird—so I thought, "Why not? It’s still good."

I cooked it up, had a nice meal, and didn’t think much of it. But then, later that night, I told my mom about it (thinking she'd just laugh), and she completely freaked out. She went on this whole rant about food safety, salmonella, and how I could’ve poisoned myself. I was just like, "It tasted fine, mom, calm down."

She kept texting me all night asking if I felt okay, if I was getting any stomach pains, and even called a few of my friends to check in on me. Honestly, I’m fine—nothing happened, and I feel perfectly normal.

But now she’s upset with me, saying I’m being careless and that I should never eat food that old, even if it seems fine. I just didn’t think it would be that big of a deal. I mean, people eat leftovers all the time, right? It wasn’t even that old.

So, AITAH for eating chicken that’s been in my fridge for 9 months and making my mom worry unnecessarily?

Edit: Just to clarify, I didn’t intentionally keep it for 9 months. I honestly just forgot about it in the back of the fridge. And no, I’m not sick. Everything’s fine. I promise I won’t be eating anything old again anytime soon!

I (27M) have a dog, Leo, who’s basically my best friend. He’s super friendly and well-behaved, and honestly, I just feel better when he’s around. I bring him everywhere I go – to cafes, parks, and friend gatherings. You name it, Leo’s there. Most people are fine with it because he’s adorable and loves everyone.

Recently, though, my friends have started making comments about it. Last weekend, we met up at this small, cozy café for brunch, and I brought Leo along. He just curled up next to my chair and didn’t bother anyone. But my friend Paul pulled me aside afterward and said it was kind of annoying that I kept bringing Leo without asking. He said not everyone wants a dog around all the time, and it’s “getting old.”

I don’t understand where this is coming from, especially since Leo’s never caused any problems. I figured since no one had said anything before, they were fine with it. Plus, I’m always careful to keep him out of people’s way, and he’s honestly better behaved than most dogs I know. I feel like they’re making a big deal out of nothing, but now I’m wondering if maybe I should have checked with everyone first.

So, AITAH for always bringing my dog? Should I have asked before assuming everyone was okay with it?

Edit: Just for context, Leo’s a small dog – not the type to jump on people or bark a lot. He just sits quietly and naps most of the time. Also, I’ve always cleaned up after him when necessary, so he hasn’t left any “souvenirs” for anyone to deal with.

So, I (39M) have this friend, Nico (also 39M), and we’ve been friends since we were kids. We’re both super competitive by nature, and we tend to push each other a lot. Whether it’s video games, sports, or even something like mini-golf, everything somehow turns into a competition between us. It’s mostly just for fun… until recently.

A few weeks ago, we were at a friend’s birthday party, and they had one of those racing setups in the living room. Of course, Nico and I immediately challenged each other, and we both got really into it. I mean, I might’ve been trash-talking a bit (okay, maybe a lot), but we were both laughing, so I didn’t think it was a big deal.

Well, I ended up beating him by a fraction of a second, and I might’ve celebrated a bit too enthusiastically—think victory lap around the living room, calling him out in front of everyone, the whole deal. After that, Nico got pretty quiet and didn’t talk to me much for the rest of the night. Later, a mutual friend told me that Nico felt like I was “rubbing it in,” and it embarrassed him.

Now I feel bad. I honestly thought we were just having fun and didn’t realize he’d take it so personally. I tried to apologize, but he just brushed it off and hasn’t really been himself around me since.

So… AITAH for taking things a bit too far with my friend, or was it all just part of the usual friendly rivalry?

Edit: We’ve always had this kind of back-and-forth, so I’m not sure why this time it got to him. Just thought I’d get some outside perspective before I bring it up with him again.

Okay, I know this sounds insane, but hear me out. I (30M) love making pancakes, and I’m pretty proud of my recipe. It’s become sort of a tradition to make them for my family when I visit my parents. They’re always really nice about it and say they love them, but... I’m starting to think they’ve just been too polite.

A few weeks ago, I was at my parents’ house and decided to whip up a big batch of pancakes for breakfast. My mom and dad both had seconds, and I thought it was a win. But later that night, my mom started having really bad stomach pains. We took her to the hospital, and she ended up needing surgery for appendicitis. It was a scary experience, but thankfully, she’s okay now.

Here’s where it gets weirder. Just a few days after my mom came home from the hospital, my dad started having the same symptoms. At first, we joked that it was sympathy pains, but he ended up in the ER too, with the exact same issue—appendicitis.

Now my whole family is convinced it was my pancakes. I know logically that my cooking can’t cause appendicitis, but I can’t help but feel responsible because they both got sick right after eating my breakfast. My parents keep joking that they’re never eating my pancakes again, and my siblings have been giving me a hard time about it, saying I’m banned from the kitchen.

So, AITAH for giving both my parents appendicitis with my cooking, or am I just an unlucky chef?

Edit: Just to clarify, I don’t actually think I gave them appendicitis, but the timing is very suspicious, and now my parents are scared of my pancakes. I might need a new family recipe...

So, I (27M) have two cats (Jimmy & Sassy), and they’re pretty much my babies. They’re super affectionate with me but can be a bit picky about who they like. My dad (52M), on the other hand, isn’t exactly a "cat person." He’s more of the “why do you have pets that don’t do anything useful?” type, but he still visits often and tolerates them because he knows they’re important to me.

The other day, my dad came over, and as usual, my cats were lounging on the couch. He decided to sit down and give them a little nudge to move over, but instead of just shuffling away, one of my cats (Jimmy) swiped at his face. It wasn’t a deep scratch, but it was enough to leave a red mark and get my dad pretty annoyed. I couldn’t help but laugh a bit because he was acting all grumpy about it, muttering something about "those spoiled cats."

He got even more annoyed when he saw me laughing and said I should discipline my cats better and not let them scratch people. I tried explaining that cats are territorial and react like that when they’re suddenly pushed, especially by someone they’re not used to. I offered him a band-aid, but he refused and ended up leaving earlier than planned.

Now my mom is telling me I should’ve been more sympathetic and that I should’ve scolded my cat instead of laughing. But honestly, I feel like it was just a normal cat reaction, and my dad knows how they can be. So now I’m wondering, AITAH for laughing when my cat scratched my dad’s face instead of taking it more seriously?

Edit: Just to clarify, my cats don’t usually attack people. They’re very cuddly with me and my friends, but my dad’s not around them enough for them to be comfortable. I’ll definitely make sure he approaches them differently next time... if he ever wants to come back!

So, this might sound a bit weird, but hear me out. I (26M) work at this company, and my boss, "Toto" (52M), and I have a really good relationship. We get along great, share a lot of common interests, and he’s been a bit of a mentor to me. We hang out outside of work sometimes, and every now and then, I’ll stay over at his place after we have dinner or watch a game, just because it’s more convenient.

Recently, my friends found out about this and started making fun of me, calling it “sleepovers” with my boss. I laughed it off at first, but they’ve started saying it’s kind of weird and unprofessional to be that close with your boss. They’re acting like I’m trying to suck up or get some kind of special treatment, but that’s honestly not the case. I just enjoy his company, and we have a good time hanging out.

The thing is, I never really mentioned it to my friends before because it just didn’t seem like a big deal. I figured if I told them, they’d blow it out of proportion (which is exactly what’s happening now). But now they’re saying it’s odd that I didn’t bring it up sooner and that it’s kind of strange to be having “sleepovers” with someone who’s technically in charge of me at work.

So, AITAH for not telling my friends that I sometimes crash at my boss’s place, or are they just overreacting?

Edit: For context, it’s not like I’m staying there every weekend or anything. It’s maybe once a month if we’re having a late night and it’s easier than going all the way back to my place. Plus, he’s got a massive guest room, so it’s not like I’m sleeping on the couch or something. It’s just a practical arrangement

Okay, so I (21M) have a bit of a problem, and I’m honestly not sure if it’s even a problem or just something I can’t control. I’ve noticed lately that whenever I’m doing interviews or talking to reporters, I end up coming off as flirting with them, even though I’m not trying to at all.

I’m naturally a friendly person, and I like to joke around and be engaging. But I’ve had a few reporters (and even some photographers) tell me after interviews that I’ve been “charming” or “too smooth” with them. Some of them even hinted that I was “leading them on.” The thing is, I don’t even notice it happening. I just talk to them like I would anyone else, but apparently, I’m making it seem like I’m flirting—without even trying!

One reporter even gave me her number after an interview, and when I asked if she was just being friendly, she said, “You were a little more than friendly.” I was totally confused because I thought we were just having a good conversation about racing. Now I’m worried that I’m giving the wrong impression to people without meaning to, and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or make things uncomfortable.

So, AITAH for accidentally flirting with reporters and leading them on when I really don’t mean to? Should I tone down my "natural charm"?

Edit: Just to clarify, I’m not trying to flirt with anyone, reporter or not. I’m just being myself, but it seems like it’s coming off differently than I intended. It’s a bit awkward now, and I’m wondering if I should change how I interact in interviews.

taglist

@nepobbylver @wobblymug @xoscar03 @irishmanwhore @nitiii

@livsturnioloo @lilorose25 @si1ver06 @zestytimbit @morgrinha

@callsignwidow

[theoryofweirdness]

1. Not really

2. Either A Link to the Past or the Oracle duology collectively.

3. Skyward Sword. I just love how she and Link are such good friends. Though Spirit Tracks is a very close second, since that's the game where Zelda has the most actual screentime.

4. That I've played? Probably Breath of the Wild. Unpopular opinion, I know. It's pretty and all, but there's only like eight unique items in the game (counting the Runes), and only like 12 unique enemies. It's a huge world that can be fun to explore, but everything just gets really samey after a while. Plus the story sucks.

5. Three-way tie between Twilight Princess, Skyward Sword, and Wind Waker, with Ocarina of Time as a close second.

6. Adventure of Link. I've heard the horror stories.

7. Jabu-Jabu's Belly from OoT because it's just such a unique setting (the OoA version is technically the same, but it's both way more annoying and also doesn't feel as much like the actual insides of a creature); Stone Tower from MM because its main puzzle mechanic is just so creative; Goron Mines, Arbiter's Grounds, and Snowpeak Ruins from TP because they feel like actual locations with a specific in-universe purpose rather than just "random place full of monsters and treasure;" the Temple of the Ocean King and Tower of Spirits because I really like the "central superdungeon" idea (honestly don't know why TotOK is so hated; reach new item unlocks shortcuts, so it's not like you have to do the same thing every time); both of the timeshifted dungeons in SS (Lanayru Mining Facility and the Sandship) because I love that mechanic (and also for the same reason as the TP ones; Ancient Cistern from SS because I really like the sharp contrast between the bright and airy "upper world" and the dark, zombie-filled "underworld;" Sky Keep from SS because it ties together everything from all the other dungeons with a very challenging and fun puzzle mechanic. Basically I just think SS had top-tier dungeon design.

8. The Oracle duology, hands-down.

9. The postman from Twilight Princess. I don't know why everyone hates on Navi when this guy exists. WHY IN THE NAME OF DIN CAN'T I SKIP HIM?!!?!

10. Beetle from SS, Magnet Gloves from OoS, Bombchu and Hammer from PH, Ball and Chain from TP, and Double Clawshots from TP/SS.

11. Wind Waker. It's where he's got the most actual character.

12. Probably Twilight Princess. It's the first one I played through entirely on my own.

13. Overall? Much as I dislike the rest of BotW, I can't argue that its character design is top-notch. After that, it's a tie between Skyward Sword and Twilight Princess.

14. As in, which one do I prefer? That depends entirely on context. Design-wise, the Gilded Sword takes the cake, but Biggoron's Sword is probably the most satisfying given that it's the reward for such a difficult side quest, and the Master Sword of course has so much lore tied to it that it's practically another character…then Skyward Sword made that literally true.

15. If Skyloft counts, then that. Otherwise… hmm… the Temple of Time is cool, since it's one of the few constant locations that ties multiple games together.

16. Lorule because it answers the interesting worldbuilding question of "what happens if the Triforce is destroyed?"; the Great Sea because it's somehow exactly the right balance between full and empty to not be boring but still feel like a vast ocean; and New Hyrule because it's just so satisfying to ride the train around (plus that song slaps).

17. Probably Twilight Princess or Majora's Mask

18. Also Twilight Princess or Majora's Mask

19. Twilight Princess or Majora's Mask (three in a row!)

20. Too hard to pick. Not the Switch ones though… for the others, it just depends on which one I'm feeling nostalgic for at the moment.

21. Breath of the Wild

22. So hard to choose… OoT/MM is classic and has a spectacular three-game-spanning arc, but TP, SS, TWW/PH, and ST have so much more personality within their own games.

23. Spiritual Stones. They look the coolest.

24. Either A Link to the Past or A Link Between Worlds. Those had the biggest inventories. Though the Oracle games also both have a pretty unique lineup. TP's are cool but too many of them are sadly underused.

25. Tie between Midna and Spirit Zelda (ST) because they participate the most in the story and actively help Link out instead of just being lore dumps, with Ezlo in second and Tatl in third.

26. Oracle duology collectively, with TMC as a very close second.

27. Probably A Link Between Worlds.

28. The Wind Waker. We need more games where Link actually has a family.

29. Depends entirely on the game

30. That's a hard one… Ballad of the Goddess from SS and themes from both TWW and TP are all very good, but I'd probably go with TWW or SS since those themes are actually incorporated into the game itself instead of just being background music.

31. Jabu-Jabu's Belly from OoA, Sword and Shield Maze from OoS, Ganon's Tower from ALttP, or Eagle's Tower from LA. Those ones are brutal. Though I would say that Mermaid's Cave from OoA is the most annoying with constantly having to go in and out and no easy means of doing so.

32. Probably BotW/TotK. Much as I dislike their gameplay, the map design is top-notch and looks the most like an actual fleshed-out world.

33. Depends. I like when the two are mixed, like in SS.

34. Moldorm in ALttP. He appears in ALBW and LA as well, but is more reasonable in both. Other contenders are Ghirahim III and Demise from SS, Evil Eagle and Dodongo Snakes II from LA, Mothula and Ganon from ALttP, and Knucklemaster and Yuganon from ALBW.

35. Demise from SS, Ganon from ALttP, Yuganon from ALBW, Majora from MM (without the Fierce Deity Mask)

36. Skyward Sword. It filled in a lot of worldbuilding holes. Though LA was also pretty good with the whole dream world thing.

37. Assuming we're talking about normal enemies and not bosses/minibosses… Technoblins from SS are pretty annoying. So are the flying tiles from ALttP, especially in that one room where you can't just cheese them by staying in the doorway, but even with that, it's still really irritating to have to just stand there until they're finished.

38. Dead Hand from OoT

39. ALBW or SS. Maybe TWW.

40. The stupid motorcycle in BotW. And also the Sheikah Slate. Really just everything from there (and TotK) that looks like modern technology. It breaks the fantasy too hard.

41. Song of Healing because it's so moving, and Song of Storms and Saria's Song because I can play them.

42. Bunny Hood. It's the most useful one.

43. In original MM, Zora, because the swimming mechanics are so satisfying. In MM3D, I don't know… the Zora isn't as satisfying, but the other four (counting the Giant's Mask) are pretty much the same.

44. Biggoron's Sword trading sequence from OoT and Gratitude Crystals from SS. The latter is the only one I've never finished, thanks to that stupid harp minigame.

45. Also Biggoron's Sword from OoT, or Maiamais from ALBW. They have the most satisfying rewards and also aren't super annoying.

46. OoT 3D. The dungeon redesigns were AMAZING. It was like a whole entire new game.

47. Skyward Sword

48. I like all of them.

49. Depends on the game, they all have different stuff. Plus they all have different numbers of bottles, which makes the storage capacity more or less valuable of a commodity.

50. OoT Mirror Shield or SS Hylian Shield

🌟 TLOZ asks 🌟

1. Is there a Zelda game(s) that you associate with each season or time of year?

2. Favourite 2D title?

3. Favourite incarnation of Zelda?

4. Least favourite entry in the series?

5. Favourite LOZ soundtrack?

6. Is there a Zelda game that intimidates you/looks too hard?

7. Favourite dungeons?

8. Most underrated Zelda game?

9. Least favourite character in the series?

10. Favourite item?

11. Favourite Ganon characterization?

12. Which Zelda game has the most sentimental value to you?

13. What Zelda game, in your opinion, has the best character design?

14. Master Sword, the Four Sword, Great Fairy's Sword, the Koholint Sword, or the Biggoron Sword?

15. Favourite location within Hyrule?

16. Favourite location outside of/parallel to Hyrule (Termina, Lorule, Holodrum, Subrosia, the Dark World, Labrynna, the Great Sea, etc)?

17. Most atmospheric game?

18. Which Zelda game feels most mature to you?

19. Which Zelda game has the darkest story to you?

20. Favourite 3D title?

21. Prettiest Zelda game?

22. Favourite incarnation of Link?

23. The Pendants of Virtue, the Spiritual Stones, or the Goddess Pearls?

24. Game with most impressive/useful lineup of items?

25. Favourite companion (Midna, Ezlo, Navi, etc)?

26. Favourite handheld title?

27. Game with the best title (Breath of the Wild, Twilight Princess, Link's Awakening, etc)?

28. Most wholesome Zelda game?

29. Favourite item to use (aside from the sword & shield)?

30. Favourite title theme from a Zelda game?

31. Hardest dungeon played?

32. Game with the best map design?

33. Do you prefer puzzles or combat?

34. Game with the hardest boss?

35. Game with the hardest final boss?

36. Which game had the most engaging story, in your opinion?

37. Least favourite enemy?

38. Creepiest enemy?

39. Which Zelda game, in your opinion, had the most satisfying ending?

40. Most out-of-place thing in the series?

41. Favourite ocarina song?

42. Favourite non-transformation mask from Majora's Mask?

43. Favourite transformation mask from Majora's Mask?

44. Hardest sidequest in the series?

45. Best sidequest in the series?

46. Favourite remake/remaster (Ocarina of Time 3D, The Wind Waker HD, Link's Awakening for the Switch)?

47. Most fulfilling Zelda game?

48. Favourite graphical style within the games (cel-shading, realistic, 16-bit, etc)?

49. Favourite thing to keep in a bottle?

50. Favourite shield?

[slvtforoldermen]

SKZ x Sex Drive

How horny are the members of Stray Kids: Most to Least.

Warnings: Smut duh. Discussions of sex drive and boundaries. Pegging implied.

PLEASE REQUEST IF YOU WANT ANYTHING 🤍🤍

Most

1. Jisung

- Are we surprised? He gets so desperate and so clingy like, all he wants is to be inside you or for you to be inside him~ He’s so soft and sweet but he’s so horny and desperate that he can’t help but cum the minute he slides into your pussy. He makes up for it though, he always does, because he eats you are so good after. He gets so upset if you don’t wanna have sex with him if you’re busy or just not feeling it. He’ll be pouty yes, but he would never EVER want you to feel guilty about not being in the mood.

2. Changbin

- Okay, imo this man is HORNY!! Like, his sex drive is high, not creepy high where he’s thinking about sex 24/7, but when he sees even an inch of your skin that you usually cover, even when it’s starting to get warmer after a cold winter and you wear shorts or a crop top for the first time, he can’t keep his thoughts away. He gets frustrated easily, so he’s not having sex with you everyday because he can just go to the gym if he wants to let off some steam, and if you’re not in the mood, he’ll drill it into your mind that he’s not mad before you runs off to the gym. He just, he loves you so much and you have to torture him by having such a sexy body. It’s not fair, let him like… eat your pussy or something, once a day at least?

3. Felix

- Guys, he just, he’s just so lovable and romantic when he’s horny. He’s so gentle. You’ll be in the kitchen and even though he’s stressed and horny out of his mind, he’ll still wrap his arms around your waist and kiss your neck softly, quietly begging asking if he can take you to bed. If you say no, he’ll be so so understanding, all he’ll want is a cuddle and to vent about what happened the day. He’s incredibly horny, yes, but he knows your boundaries and he wouldn’t ever dare cross them.

4. Bangchan

- Now listen here, when this man wants to restrain himself he will, but when he’s horny, he’s a monster. There’s a reason why the man wrote Railway, it’s because he’ll run a train onto you. When he’s mad or stressed, he’ll be rough, grunting and groaning as if he’s a… wolf 😏. But he wouldn’t hurt you, he wouldn’t ever try to hurt you. Even when he’s mad, he’ll still check up on you, and prep you. That’s a must now cmon, have you seen him? If you say no, he won’t even touch you unless you ask him to, he treats you a little too delicately, which sometimes pisses you off, and then you need to prove to him that you’re not made of glass.

5. Jeongin

- BARK BARK!! Sorry, it’s very clear he’s my bias wrecker. Anyway, Jeonginnie isn’t the horniest of the bunch, despite a lot of contradiction, he’s got a lot of self control when it comes to his sex drive. But when Jeongin fucks, Jeongin fucks. He’ll go down on you as if you was addicted to your taste (when he defo is but he won’t admit it), he’ll be sweet sometimes, smiling at you sweetly as you look so pretty under him, he’ll praise you and kiss you for hours. But when he’s stressed, GAWD DAYUM, daddy toast has arrived. Due to being the youngest, he has an inkling of a control kink, he’s not submissive at ALL, so he’ll be rough with you when he’s mad, unless you tell him to stop. If you tell him no, he’ll be slightly confused, because now he has a raging boner and no idea what to do, but always ends up jerking off. NEVER makes you feel bad, he loves you way too much for that.

6. Seungmin

- A lot of people think he’s horny, however, I think Seungmin’s sex drive depends on yours. If he wasn’t with you, he would probably jerk off like once or twice a week. He’s got better things to do with his time. But he finds how horny you get endearing, and that gets him horny. If he is horny and you’re not in the mood, you guys will end up cuddling and he’ll hold you. He secretly loves domesticity. If he’s frustrated he’ll be rough: if he’s calm, well… that all depends on you being bratty or not.

7. Hyunjin

- Like Changbin, Hyunjin has other vices, but unlike Changbin, he can keep his horniness down impeccably well. Ever since he started painting regularly, he doesn’t feel as horny as often. When he does, he’s so romantic. I can’t picture this man being rough: he’s a soft dom, period, the end. When you say no, he’ll offer to paint you, which is something you can’t say no to, he loves painting you, half of his paintings are just you. Overall, he’s a sweet lover who loves painting you, whether that be on an easel with acrylics, or on your body with his cum.

8. Lee Know

- The same situation as Seungmin. His sex drive depends on yours. He’s a talented lover and he’ll take his time with you. He’s gentle and loving, but when you want him to be rough, his sweet switch will turn off and he’ll be mean easy. I don’t believe this man is cold at all, he’s kind and gentle and loving… until you’re a brat and you break that barrier, then he’ll fuck you into tomorrow, with tomorrow’s aftercare being incredible. If you say no, he’ll be a little confused, because normally you’re the one initiating, so he feels a little insecure, but once you explain why, he’ll smile and cuddle you. Minho’s a cuddler, period.

Least

[communistkenobi]

I’m watching FD Signifier’s new video about edgelord white guy movies. He spends a decent amount of time talking about how creators have responded to their edgelord fanbases, using The Joker and The Boys as two examples, where these creators feel uncomfortable with how their art has been received and taken up by “angry white men,” and that in response to this, they have followed up these artistic products with sequels or new seasons of television that are incredibly blunt and obvious about how you shouldn’t think of Homelander as a based chad or Arthur Fleck as a motivational figure in your life. And like he ends the video saying this is insufficient because these audiences won’t care about the messages in these follow-ups (largely bc these are downstream of larger social issues), but his framing of it in terms of “the death of media literacy” is still really frustrating and annoying because it’s buying into the idea that the main problem with people “not getting” art is literacy/education. And its not just his video, this framing is a popular memetic phrase across social media, and he does a better job than most people in talking about it

But like I just straight up do not accept that the audience of these edgelord movies “didn’t get” that they are portraying bad people, that audiences of mass media are “taking the wrong message” of “very obvious” pieces of art. Not because I think they do secretly get what these films are ‘actually saying,’ I don’t care about what’s in their hearts, but because this concern with people ‘not getting it’ feels wildly off-topic. I think it has been demonstrated over and over again that mass media is not an educational tool where people go to “learn lessons” or “take away a particular message.” I think the very fact that we have a consumptive marketised relationship to these artistic products structures and produces a specific set of responses, which is, above all else, “getting my money’s worth.” Who gives a shit what the movie is ‘really’ trying to say! That’s unimportant when faced with the question of did I get what I paid for? And I don’t mean this in an annoying lib “consumerism is making us all stupider” way I mean the economic structure of artistic production is the primary determinant of how commodities on a market are received. The idea that, under these conditions, we can purchase a piece of art that will “teach us” something about the world is laughable, that art-by-itself contains the authority to impart political knowledge. The idea that we can purchase our way into good values, good politics, that we can buy a movie ticket and see the error of our ways is buying into this same exact consumptive framing.

“The death of media literacy” implies a point in recent history where this economic relationship to art was unimportant, that we used to be able to participate in mass standardised artistic production and be unaffected by this arrangement. I think about Adorno & Horkheimer’s argument in The Culture Industry, that the profit motive is itself an object of consumption under capitalism, that advertisements are themselves products & as a result, all mass standardised artistic products are advertisements for their own capitalist production processes and logics. 

I think when people “don’t get” that Starship Troopers is depicting a fascist society, when people “don’t get” that Travis Bickle is a bad, un-admirable person, they aren’t stricken by a sudden deficit of education or literacy, they are responding to the conditions under which these things get made. Being able to get art’s “true message,” no matter how supposedly clear or compellingly-articulated, is to argue that ‘message’ and ‘meaning’ can be made independent of the conditions under which those things are created and presented to people. The industrial capitalist machinery outputting standardised artistic products is itself an authority telling you how to interpret its own products, much the same way a cathedral is presented as evidence of god. There is a material & physical authority in their presence and social arrangement that are themselves arguments. Adorno talks about this with the radio - that this vast industrial infrastructure of radio towers, broadcast stations, systems of wires and cables, and the production of standardised radio receivers (available for purchase, of course) is utterly incomprehensible to most people and amounts to hearing the voice of god when you turn on the radio. The arrangement of artistic production & presentation is itself the structure through which you experience art, and that structure is an authority you can neither comprehend nor alter. And again as A&H say in The Culture Industry, the techniques, narratives, and genres of the culture industry become standardised themselves, cookie-cutters on a production line, and therefore dictate meaning above and beyond any particular semantic meaning injected into an individual film or story. “Romcoms” are a cultural authority above and beyond the sum total of every romcom film ever made, and it is these genres and techniques that transmit the justification for their own continued reproduction. Under this arrangement, the meaning of this film or that television show are rendered marginal - not unnoticeable or irrelevant, certainly, but secondary to the cookie-cutters they were produced from 

Now does this lead to a widespread ignorant, impoverished, reactionary view of art? Of course, but that is not because the guy who likes wearing V for Vendetta masks is illiterate. To place the blame on individual education, discipline, or literacy is to take Hollywood for granted as a natural eternal entity, to take it as just another church. It’s a goofy fucking argument! 

[synthetickitsune]

Full Stomach, Full Heart ✧ w.jh

Pairing: Wen Junhui x reader (gn) Genre: angst, hints of comfort Summary: What was the last thing you ate, actually? Yet better question would be when was the last time you ate a full, nutritious meal. You don’t think you can remember though. And you know Jun will hate to hear it. Word count: 2.2k Warnings: food struggles, mentions of reader not eating properly

You feel something’s wrong within the first hour after waking up. Deeply wrong, but you’re equally deep in denial, so you write it off as a side effect of getting up too early and immediately scrolling on your phone, so you go back to sleep. When you wake up again, you’re not really sure you slept at all. Somehow, though, the time has passed too quickly for you to just be spacing out in bed. You need to get up. 

The feeling is still there, a weight on your chest and your mind feels like it’s clouded by a thick fog. Your bones feel heavy. Just standing feels uncomfortable and draining. You get some water and crawl back into bed. A text from your boyfriend is waiting for you, wishing you a good morning and asking if you’ve eaten yet. Your stomach churns at the idea of eating, so you ignore the text in favor of more sleep. 

Only sleep just won’t come. Not for long anyway. It’s all brief flashes of unconsciousness that leave you disoriented and tired once you wake up. Switching between unsuccessful attempts of napping and mindless scrolling on your phone, with some spacing out on the side, time passes. You try to make yourself get up again and do something, try to guilt yourself into being productive, all without result. Nothing works, nothing feels right.

You can’t tell what’s wrong exactly, but somehow it feels like everything is. It makes you upset, most of all with yourself. There is nothing that needs to get done, however you can come up with a list of a hundred things that you could get done if only you dragged yourself out of bed. There’s no reason you should be like this, you tell yourself. It is what it is, you tell yourself next and close your eyes again.

Without your permission, time passes. It slips away from you, then forcefully reminds you of its existence when your phone starts to ring.

It’s Jun.

“Hey,” you whisper. You hope he heard over the commotion around him. Suddenly you realize you really hate people today. Staying in bed seems even more appealing. Nobody is going to bother you here.

“Are you alright?” Jun cuts straight to chase. His voice is kind but laced with worry. “You never responded to my text.”

Oh. Shit.

“Yeah, yeah, I guess I am,” you hesitate a little, “Just don’t feel too good.”

You can see the frown on his face when you close your eyes and focus on the brief pause. The background noise, the voices, get distant and quiet. Somewhere on the other end of the line, a door clicks shut.

“‘Not good’ as in…?” he asks and you sigh. Worrying your lip between your teeth, you regret being honest in the first place. Just a little. But then again if you haven’t told him, he’d drive himself crazy with worry and that’s the last thing he needs during practice.

“I just don’t feel much of anything,” you admit, “I’m just really tired. I don’t want to do anything, don’t wanna talk to anyone.”

He hums in sympathy. It makes something warm flicker in your chest. You can imagine the hug he’d give you if he was here - enveloping, like the world doesn’t exist, his hand cradling your head, the other on the small of your back pulling you close with just the perfect amount of force. He’d hold you until something made him let go, and then still kiss you and promise to be right back.

“I’m sorry I called,” he whispers, “I just got worried.”

“No, I don’t mind you,” you reassure him even as every word drains more energy out of your already exhausted body, “You don’t count.”

“Why thank you,” you hear the smile in his voice. It’s natural for you to smile as well without thinking, if only you had the energy too. Regret wells up in your chest, even though Jun won’t know about this little turmoil. “Have you eaten?”

Your heart pauses for a beat. The answer is clear, but what was the last thing you ate, actually? Probably just instant noodles or something like that. Better question would be when was the last time you ate a full, nutritious meal. You don’t think you can remember though. And you know Jun will hate to hear it.

“...no,” you admit quietly. You curl under the blanket. He might get disappointed and worried but he won’t yell at you, you know that, yet it still feels uncomfortable. The silence drags on and leaves you suspended in anxiety. You beg him to talk inside your head, to say anything - to snap at you, anything will do. Just not the silence.

“y/n, it’s so late…” he says and you know he’s not scolding you, that he’s as gentle as he can be, but it still sounds like you’re getting scolded.

“I know,” you murmur, “I’m not hungry though.”

It’s an understatement. The idea of eating itself makes your stomach churn. And maybe it’s hunger in disguise, maybe. Most likely. You know you should eat. Food feels repulsive, though.

“You need to eat,” he insists, quietly, still gentle. You can hear the change in his voice when he adds: “I’ve been busy a lot, huh?”

“Jun…” you shake your head, “It’s not your fault. I need to take care of myself.”

“I want to be there for you when you’re not feeling well,” there’s a moment where his voice gets higher. You can imagine the lightbulb appearing above his head and it makes you slightly concerned. “I’m gonna help.”

“Wait, no-”

“Shh, no arguing,” he shushes you. You can hear his voice get more distant. “I’ll order you some food. A lot of it. So you can choose.”

You whine.

“I don’t wanna see anyone. Please. I promise I’ll eat later, just not now,” you try to change his mind. It’s pointless, you’re well aware that Jun is the most stubborn when your wellbeing is concerned. The silence on the other end of the line, occasionally broken by tapping noises as your boyfriend’s fingers dance across the screen, tells you resistance is hopeless. Still you try.

“I don’t want to go anywhere to pick up the food. I won’t even go downstairs,” you warn him,

“I won’t pick up the phone if anyone calls. I won’t talk to anyone,” you sulk.

“Jun, please forget about it-”

“Will you cook?” he interrupts you, a slight edge to his voice. You shrivel under the blanket.

“No but-”

“Are there any leftovers you can heat up?”

“No, Jun-”

“Don’t ‘no Jun’ me,” he sighs, “I’m gonna figure this out, okay? Don’t worry.”

Before you can ask for an explanation, beg him to let it go, anything, he hangs up. You groan and pull at your hair. It’s pointless to argue with Jun, however, and although you’re frustrated you know you can trust him. So you return to numbly lying on bed.

It’s some time later that you’re woken up - from sleep or daydreaming, you have no idea - by a text. You frown and pick up the phone, already annoyed. Who dares to bother you now?

Joshua: hey i’m downstairs so don’t get creeped out when i come in with the food

Joshua: if you're awake

Joshua: if not - sorry! ><

…what?

You don’t have much time to process what’s happening before you hear the code being put in and the doors opening. You’re tempted to pretend you’re not home but also what the fuck is he doing here? Taking a quick look at Jun’s messy hoodie and sweats you’re wearing, you ultimately decide that it’s not your fault Joshua’s going to see you like this. He came in uninvited. So much for not talking to anyone. You get up and groggily walk out of the room and look for the intruder.

You find him in the kitchen… putting food containers on the table?

“Hey,” he greets you softly with a friendly smile without pausing his actions.

“What are you doing here?” you ask, confusion written all over your face. Your arms are wrapped around your body protectively. Joshua doesn’t even look at you as he meticulously takes everything out of the bag.

“That’s my line. You should be in bed” he chuckles. Finally he looks up and upon seeing you don’t get the situation at all, he shakes his head with a small laugh.

“Jun said you’re not feeling well,” he explains, “So he asked if anyone could bring you food while you rest. Are you okay to eat now or should I put it in the fridge?”

You stop yourself from screaming aloud. And sighing. And hitting your head against the wall.

“Thank you,” you say instead, “It really wasn’t necessary.”

“No problem,” Joshua smiles at you again, “So?”

“I’ll eat in a bit,” you decide, relaxing slightly. You don’t feel like eating if you’re being honest but you also think the nausea starting to kick in is caused by hunger at this point. You should make yourself eat. Somehow.

“Okay. Do you need anything else? Medicine, dessert?” he jokes and you roll your eyes at him even though the target should really be Junhui.  

“I’m fine, thank you,” you try to smile at him despite your irritated mood. You make a mental note to thank Joshua again and apologize later because he leaves as quickly as he came. You should also talk to your boyfriend about using his friends as couriers.

Speaking of which…

Your phone rings again the moment you sit down and angrily stab the utensil into the closest container. You really can’t be bothered to use dishes that you’d have to wash later.

You accept the call and put your boyfriend on speaker.

“Hi… Joshua texted me he dropped off the food?” Jun sounds timid, careful almost.

“Yeah, he did,” you play with the food without raising any to your lips, “I hope you paid him.”

“No, but I owe him one,” he chuckles, still tense, “You know how he is.”

You hum. You do. But that still doesn’t mean your boyfriend should take advantage of his friend’s kindness to bring you food when he’s too busy. It’s not like any of them ever have too much time on their hands to be doing this.

“I… I just thought it would be okay this way,” his voice softens, “That you could avoid social interaction but still get the food delivered. I told Shua to leave you alone.”

You hum again. Not that you mind talking to Jun, he’s always the only exception, but you’re tired. And hungry, yet the idea of picking up the food, chewing, swallowing just seems so exhausting.

“I’m sorry,” Jun’s voice drops into a whisper, “But you need to eat.”

“I know,” you murmur, “And thank you. It’s just I really don’t feel like it even though I’m so hungry right now.”

It’s quiet on the other side for a moment, and then you hear him talking away from the phone - asking Soonyoung for a short break. You can’t hear what the response is but the next thing you hear is the door closing and Jun’s fast steps.

“What happened?” you ask, smiling a little as you imagine your boyfriend speeding through the corridors.

“I’ll facetime you in a bit, yeah? We can eat together,” his voice is full of determination and confidence that you don’t share.

“You’re going to eat in the middle of practice?” your eyebrow raises on its own.

“...Yes.”

There’s another slight pause.

“I’ll be fine.”

“Sure,” you chuckle. You still haven’t found the will to take a bite. Sharing a meal with Jun sounds nice, though. It’s highly unlikely it’s actually going to help with the predicament you’re in but the idea really is nice.

“You don’t have to eat much, I won’t either,” he coaxes you softly. You hear more doors opening and closing. Then something that sounds like a fridge and him rummaging around. “Just eat something, yeah?”

“I’ll try,” you promise.

“I’ll turn on the camera now,” Jun warns while he, at least judging by the sound, puts the food in the microwave. 

You just admire his pretty face while he waits for the food to warm up and try to push down the nausea. It’s hunger, it must be. But it does nothing to help you feel like eating. Your boyfriend yaps on about his day so far, about the practice, whines a little about how hard the new choreo is. It’s soothing, comforting. Ultimately, though, it doesn’t help much.

New wave of guilt washes over you when he sits down with his food and looks at you hopefully. You need to eat. You really need to. If for no other reason, then at least so that he doesn’t worry and can fully focus on the practice.

Finally you force your hands to move, your lips to open and your jaws to chew the first bite. Jun’s bright smile feels much better than the food you swallow.

“There we go,” he whispers to himself, trying to bite back the smile as he digs into his own lunch. You hear it anyway.

You smile a little too as you fight against your head to share a meal with him.