#but still I just want to show off my edits

[morgana-larkin]

Alright as it was heavily demanded, here’s part 2 to “Just Tired”. I honestly had no idea that it would get so much interest and so quickly as well. Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!

Part 1

Just Tired - Part 2

Warnings: Manipulative relationship, small amount of swearing, confused Mel

Words: 3.1k

Melissa gets home and lets out a sigh before she puts her stuff down and sees Joe on the couch.

“What are you doing home so early?” She asks him and he looks at her.

“Why? Don’t you want to spend time with me?” He asks.

“Of course I do, I-I’m just wondering as you’re normally still at the fire station at this time.” She tells him.

“They sent me home as there was nothing today but I’m still on-call. Where were you? Weren’t you supposed to be here about 20 minutes ago?” He asks her.

“I was driving a coworker home as she was having car troubles.” She explains to him.

“Playing the hero I see.” He says and she looks down.

“Was just trying to help someone.”

“Looking for praise or something?”

“No, just letting you know why I’m home late as you asked.” She says and he gets up and walks over to her.

“I know I asked you, do you think I’m stupid?” He asks her and she shakes her head.

“N-no.” She says and she backs up into the door and he traps her there.

“I really wanted to give you a hello kiss but the fact you think I’m stupid hurt my feelings.” He says and he turns around. She immediately reaches out and grabs his wrist.

“I’m-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.” She says and he smiles at her and gives her a kiss before going back to the couch.

“What’s for dinner?” He asks her.

“Leftovers from yesterday.” She tells him.

“Can’t we have something else? The meal wasn’t that good yesterday.” He tells her and she looks upset at his comment before she nods.

“Of course, I’ll go make something else.” She tells him and goes to the kitchen. She goes into the kitchen and hears a show on the tv and she lets some tears escape her and she sniffles a few times before she stops herself and goes to the fridge to see what she can make.

“So do we have any plans this weekend?” Melissa asks him as they have dinner.

“I don’t know, it’s only Tuesday.” He says. “Why?” He asks her.

“No reason, just wondering.” She says.

“Was there anything specific you wanted to do?”

“No, just making conversation.” She says and he looks at her before nodding.

“Well how about we go to a bar to watch the game this weekend.” He suggests.

“Why do we have to go to a bar to watch it? We can watch it on our TV here.” She tells him.

“You wanted to know about any plans and then when I give you one you immediately shoot it down. Why are you being so controlling?” He asks her.

“I’m not.” She defends herself.

“You are.” He says and she looks down at her now empty plate.

“Alright we can go to the bar.” She gives in and then he gets up and gives her a kiss.

“There, now was that so hard?” He asks her and she shakes her head.

“No.” She tells him and he gives her another kiss before he goes back to the tv. Melissa sighs and then puts her head in her hands.

The next morning, Melissa is getting ready for work and then grabs her things and leaves. She’s driving to work and she’s stuck behind a bus and then she sees you running after it while the bus takes off and leaves you behind. She rolls her eyes and then pulls up at the bus stop.

“Get in.” She calls out to you and you look at her.

“What? Oh hi Melissa.” You tell her.

“Come on, get in, I’m holding up traffic.” She says and you quickly get in as someone is honking behind her and Melissa flips them off. “You realise that you would have been late even if you got on that bus.” She tells you and you sigh before nodding.

“I know, but I forgot to set an earlier alarm.” You tell her and she hums.

“By the way, about yesterday, I’m sorry that I snapped at you, it wasn’t intentional.” She tells you and you look at her.

“It’s alright, I honestly forgot all about it.” You tell her with a smile.

“I know, it’s just that…wait, what?” She asks you confused.

“I forgot that happened yesterday, but just so it’s off of your conscious, I forgive you.” You tell her and she stops at a red light and looks at you weirdly. “What?”

“You just forgive me, so easily?” She asks and you nod. “Why?” She asks and you tilt your head and furrow your eyebrows.

“Because there’s no hard feelings and it wasn’t that bad. I get that you’re a really closed off person and you don’t like talking about your life so you got defensive.” You tell her and you look at her. “Can I ask you something and it’s totally alright if you tell me to fuck off?” You ask her and she nods. “Are you not used to people forgiving you?” You ask her and you see her tense up. “Or not used to someone specific forgiving you?” You add and she lets out a deep breath.

“Yes.” She suddenly says. “My husband.” She adds and you look at her. You then nod and turn back around to see out the window as you don’t want to pry. “He always makes a big show until he even thinks about forgiving me.” She suddenly adds and you turn to look at her.

“Can I ask another question?” You ask her and she shrugs.

“You might as well just go all in.” She says and you chuckle.

“How often do you apologise to him?” You ask her and she thinks about it.

“Well whenever I do something wrong, that changes daily.” She easily says.

“And does he still make a big show even if you apologise?” You ask her and she nods.

“All the time.” She says. “Why are you asking me?” She asks you.

“He sounds a bit like an ass if you ask me.” You tell her bluntly and you see a small smile on her face.

“That’s just married life hon.” She tells you as she pulls into the parking lot. “He loves me and I love him and that’s what matters.” She adds and you both get out. “And one day maybe you’ll have a husband as well and you’ll know what I’m talking about.” She tells you as she starts walking to the school.

“Not really as my husband will be a wife.” You tell her and she looks at you.

“Well if you’re lucky enough to have a wife then you’ll know what I’m talking about.” She corrects herself and you smile at her.

“You know when you let yourself have a crack in your wall then you’re a decent person.” You joke with her and she shakes her head.

“Alright, get in the school.” She tells you and playfully nudges you.

“Oh Y/n, are you still having car problems?” Jacob asks you and you nod.

“Ya, I took the bus this morning.” You say, covering for Melissa and you see her glance your way before turning back to the coffee machine.

An hour later you’re decorating your door when Melissa comes up to you.

“You told them you took the bus.” She tells you and you look at her.

“Yep, I didn’t know if you wanted it on the record that you’re being nice to a newbie, it’s even dangerous that you’re even talking to one right now.” You say playfully and with a smile and she snorts.

“You don’t take anything in life seriously do you?” She asks you and you shake your head.

“Not really.” You say. “That’s probably why the kids are gonna love me.” You say with a big smile and she looks at you.

“Do you love working with kids?” She asks and you nod.

“Love kids, they’re adorable and the things they come up with are really entertaining and interesting.” You tell her as you tape name tags on the door as she’s leaning on the wall and looking at you.

“I can't wait to see how you teach.” She tells you and you look up at her and see her arms are crossed but staring at you.

“Well you know maybe I can learn a thing or two from a seasoned teacher such as yourself.” You say and smile at her.

“We’ll see.” She tells you.

“So I get a maybe? I’ll take a maybe.” You tell her and you don’t notice Janine peeking her head out and staring at you two.

“So I can drive you home again if you want. Unless you prefer running after a bus again.” She offers and you smile at her.

“I’d appreciate that, thank you.” You tell her and she nods.

“Love the crayon name tags by the way.” She says and then walks to her classroom.

Lunchtime comes and Melissa walks into the break room where everyone already is and she sees you in a deep conversation with Janine and Jacob while she walks to the fridge. She grabs the big bowl of leftovers from Monday and puts it in the microwave while “accidentally” eavesdropping on the conversation.

“So you went on a date with an older ginger a month ago?” Janine asks you and you nod.

“She was really hot but we didn’t have much in common. Which is a shame as older gingers are my type.” You tell them and Melissa doesn’t notice the blush on her cheeks when you say that, instead she focuses on putting servings on 5 plates.

“It’s your lucky day you kids. I had quite a bit of leftovers so here’s some gnocchi asparagi e pancetta.” She tells you 3 and also hands Barb a plate.

“Oh, that sounds really good and looks amazing.” You tell her and she looks at you.

“Did you understand everything I told you?” She asks and you nod.

“I took an Italian course as an elective.” You tell her and then you look at the food and take a bite. “Holy crap! This is probably the best thing I’ve ever tasted.” You say and you miss the small blush on Melissa’s cheeks but Barb catches it.

Lunch is over and you were only able to eat half of what she gave you so you pack the extra portion up in your lunchbox and then continue working.

You’re working on your lesson plan when Melissa knocks on your door and you look up at her.

“Why hello Melissa. Twice in one day? If I didn’t know any better I’d say I was growing on you.” You tell her and she shakes her head at you and rolls her eyes.

“Don’t hold your breath, hon.” She tells you and you quirk your eyebrows at her. “I just wanted to ask you if you really liked what I made or if you were just putting up a front because people were there? You can tell me the truth.” She says and you tilt your head.

“You really want the truth?” You ask her and she nods. “Ok the truth is that it’s the best thing I’ve ever fucking tasted! I mean you could be an amazing chef if you wanted.” You tell her. “I mean I’m having the rest of it tonight and my roommate is not getting a single bite.” You say to her and she looks down and smiles. “Why did you think I might have been lying just because people are around?” You ask her and she shrugs.

“I don’t know.” She says softly. “Thanks for telling me the truth, hon.” She says and then goes back to her classroom. You look at your doorway in confusion and wonder about Melissa. Some of her actions seem familiar with something you’ve read about but can’t quite place it. You decide to just leave it alone and continue your lesson plan.

At the end of the day Melissa locks up her classroom and sees you still writing down something. She walks over to your classroom and knocks on the door and you look up at her.

“Hey Melissa.” You tell her. “I know it’s the end of the day but I just need to finish this up.” You tell her and she nods.

“What are you finishing up?” She asks as she walks into your classroom.

“Lesson plan. I want to have the first month planned out so I don’t fall behind.” You tell her.

“Hon, take it from a seasoned teacher, you will fall behind, every teacher falls behind. And you shouldn’t plan so far in advance until you get to know your students, cause you don’t know what they’re like until basically the 3rd week.” She explains to you.

“I don’t even know why I was hired, I have no fucking clue what I’m doing.” You pout and then lay your head on your desk. You miss the smile that Melissa has on her face due to your little freak out.

“Hon.” She says and you turn your head to look at her. “It’s your first year and first time you’re doing this by yourself. Of course you’re nervous, I would be worried if you weren’t. But you’re gonna do great because you’re a good person and the kiddos will love you.” She tells you.

“You’ve known me for 3 days, you don’t know if I’m a good teacher or not.” You tell her.

“Let me see your lesson plan.” She tells you and you prop your head up and hand her the lesson plan. You watch her as she puts her glasses on and then reads it before she sets it back down on your desk. “This is pretty good and I know the kids will have fun on the first week.” She tells you with a small smile. “So come on, let me take you home as you have leftovers to eat.” She tells you and you smile as you remember the food and quickly get your things and follow Melissa out.

“Melissa.” You say as you put your seatbelt on and she looks at you. “You said you live less than a mile away from me.” You start and she nods. “Now you can totally say no but if I walked to your place, would you be willing to drive me to school until I get paid and can put gas in the car?” You ask her and she looks at you and thinks about it.

“Give me your phone.” She says and you take it out and give it to her.

“Why?” You ask her.

“So I can put my number in it and send you my address.” She states.

“Oh, obviously I guess.” You joke and she smiles before she sends a text to her phone so she can save your number to her phone.

“I’ll text it to you when I get home.” She tells you and you nod before you see the nickname she gave herself in your phone and you quirk an eyebrow at her.

“Really? Older ginger?” You ask her and she shrugs.

“Heard that’s what you’re into, so why not.” She says as she pulls out of the parking lot and you laugh.

“I like it, it’ll confuse everyone.” You say and she winks at you. “I can’t wait to eat the leftovers, I’ll guard it so well so my roommate can’t touch it at all.” You say and she smiles.

She drives you home and then you grab your things and get out.

“Thanks again Melissa.” You tell her and she nods.

“I’ll see you at 7am tomorrow at my place. If you’re not there by 7:01 then I’m taking off without you.” She says and you nod.

“That’s fair.” You say and then close the door and walk to your door and go inside.

Melissa drives to her place and goes inside. She takes her things off and lets out a deep breath. She gets her phone out and sends you her address before she goes to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine.

An hour later and she’s warming up yesterday’s leftovers when she gets a text.

You: Roommate smelled the food and tried to steal it…👩🏼‍🦱 🥊

Melissa: You punched your roommate?

You: If she didn’t give it back then I would have. Unfortunately it didn’t come to that…been looking for an excuse to punch her lately.

Melissa: I thought I understood you but I don’t think I do

You: I wouldn’t try, I’m an enigma

Melissa: I will understand you at some point

Melissa watches as the 3 dots keep popping up and then disappearing. She decided to continue with the task of heating up the leftovers and then she gets a text from you.

You: Trying to understand me is like you making friends with a newbie

Melissa snorts at that comment and that’s when Joe gets home so she puts her phone away.

“What a day.” He says as he enters the kitchen. “There was a building fire and 5 car accidents today.” He tells her and she looks at him.

“Wow, sounds like a long day.” She says.

“It was. I was thinking we could have dinner on the couch and watch a movie to relax.” He suggests and she hands him a plate of heated leftovers.

“Alright, we can do that.” Melissa tells him.

After they finish dinner, they both stay seated on the couch as the movie is still going. Melissa is leaning an elbow on the side of the couch and resting her head on her hand. She keeps glancing over at Joe throughout the movie and eventually he notices.

“Why do you keep looking at me?” He asks her.

“Why do we never cuddle anymore?” She asks him. “Before we used to cuddle all the time.”

“We never cuddled all the time. And we were different years ago, I just don’t like to cuddle that much.” He tells her.

“You used to love it.” She says softly.

“I never did, I don’t know where you got that idea.” He says to her and she sighs softly.

Later that night, Melissa is lying awake in bed as Joe was asleep beside her. She can’t seem to fall asleep as some thoughts were in her head. Her thoughts got a bit mixed up since you asked if it was a happy marriage and she doesn’t know why she got so defensive. She’s certain she’s happy and they love each other, but there’s a nagging feeling inside of her that she can’t shake. Eventually she ends up falling asleep.

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Let me know if you want to be added!

[cosyvelvetorchid]

@bucktommyfluffebruary Day 8: Surprise

Another of my prompts from last year that fit.

*****

Rated T | 2,430 | tw: homophobic slur

Buck knew that Tommy loved a romcom. He liked lots of genres of movies, and all for different reasons. But romcoms he loved because of the fantasy of them. He’d told Buck once that growing up with a father like his, and then spending the majority of his adult years firmly tucked away in the closet, that he’d wholeheartedly believed that a true love or romance was not in his own future. That living vicariously through two people on screen, even if they were straight, was the closest thing he’d get to a happy ending.

He’d very much changed his mind since he’d met his Evan, but still Buck had been determined to give him all the romantic moments he’d missed out on over his life.

It started with surprising Tommy with a candle lit dinner ready when he came home from work.. Which ended with Buck being bent over the table as dessert. Not quite the emotional response he was going for, but hey who was he to say no to that!

Tommy mentioned once a book he loved as kid and Buck spent three weeks hunting down a first edition. He was certainly blown away by Bucks thoughtfulness and showed him immediately by getting on his knees. Again Buck was happy to oblige—he always was—but it still wasn’t the response he was truly hoping for.

He wanted to sweep Tommy entirely off his feet. Woo him to the point of breathlessness. Make him feel so unbelievably cherished and loved that he forgets out to speak.

And then the idea hit him.

Oddly, while watching Carrie.

“Man, the worst thing that happened at our senior prom was Mikey Jacobs spiking the punch. I still can’t drink Jack Daniels” Buck reminisced.

“Better than pigs blood, babe. Or, you know, the revenge by telekinesis.”

“True. What about you? What was yours like?”

Tommy sighed. “I, uh, didn’t go to mine.”

“Really?” Buck looked at him in surprise. “I mean granted you were secretly gay, but I know the girls would have been killing each other to get the Tommy Kinard to take them to prom.” The idea seemed to bring such joy to his Evans face that Tommy almost didn’t want to admit the reality.

“I appreciate the support, babe, but I wasn’t exactly drowning in dates with girls.” He laughed “I was 6’2” by the time I was 15 but I didn’t know how to build muscle or even eat right for my body’s needs. I went from 5’8” and over weight to 6’2” and skinny, which my dad just loved to point out constantly. I was super insecure and had zero confidence to ask a a girl out.” A look of sadness flickered across his face.

“Did people not go stag at your school?”

Tommy huffed a cold laugh. “Only fags and virgins go stag to a prom, Thomas.” He mimicked his father’s voice. Buck gently rubbed Tommys arm.

“I’m sorry you had to hear shit like that from your dad. You deserved so much better than that.”

“I know that now and mostly because of you.” He pressed a chaste kiss to Bucks lips and smiled.

“Good.” He smiled back, already formulating his next plan to woo the shit out of his boyfriend.

This one took a few weeks of planning but Buck was certain it would knock Tommys socks off.

****

Tommy was surprised that Lucy had suddenly turned up at Harbour on what was supposed to be her day off. Even more surprised when she offered, nay insisted that she take Tommys remaining 24 hours of his 48 hours shift.

In the end their Captain had to practically shove him out of the harbour doors to get him out. He eventually relented and left for home.

Approaching their front door he noticed a note in handwriting so bad it had to be Bucks. God did he love him but the man’s penmanship looked like a doctor’s. A drunk doctor’s. Wearing a plaster cast. Thankfully after almost a year together he’d learned how to decipher Evans scribbles.

“Go straight upstairs.

Shower and get dressed..”

“Huh?”

“Don’t “huh” me, Kinard. Just do it. Then meet me in the dining room.

P.s: love you, Your Evan.”

Tommy chuckled to himself but did as he was asked and walked straight up the stairs to their bedroom. He was surprised, and confused, to see his tux freshly pressed and laid out on their bed.

After showering and dressing he made his way back down found himself knocking on his own dining room door for permission to enter.

“Come in.” Evans voice called from inside.

Tommy opened the door his mouth and eyes opened wide at what he saw.

The table had been pushed to the side wall, with a black cloth draped over the top, atop of which was a punch bowl filled with an orangey pink liquid. Surrounding it was lots of bowls filled with candy and chips and other kids favourite snacks.

A shiny disco ball hung from the ceiling with paper decorations swinging from the Center of the room and up to the corners. Twinkling lights hung all around giving the room a gorgeous warm glow.

And standing in the centre of the dining room, under the disco ball, in a tux that fit him so incredibly perfectly was the most beautiful man Tommy had ever seen.

“What’s.. what’s going on?” Tommy asked not being able to hide his smile.

Evan took a few steps toward him and held out his hand. “Thomas Kinard. Will you go to prom with me?” Every time Tommy thinks he can’t fall in love with Evan any more, he’s proven wrong.

For the next two hours they do nothing but dance like idiots, drink spiked punch (tequila instead of Jack Daniel’s this time - buck would actually like to remember this prom), and snack on junk food.

Tommy couldn’t remember the last time he had let loose like this. Or even smiled this hard. Evan was by far the greatest joy to ever come into his life. He reminded Tommy of what fun was, what joy was and what it felt like to be truly unashamedly himself - something that nobody had ever made him felt safe enough to truly be.

Buck knew he’d achieved his task of sweeping Tommy off his feet tonight already, but there was one more thing he decided, last minute, that he was going to do.

Buck picked up his phone and searched for the perfect song, settling on Songbird by Eva Cassidy because it was on the soundtrack to Tommy’s favourite movie Love, Actually. He didn’t even need to do anything because as soon as the opening bars played through the speaker Tommy instantly knew what it was and pulled Buck into a slow dance.

They swayed slowly and silently for a few moments just breathing in the perfect moment with each other with Tommys arms wrapped around Bucks waist and Bucks arms around his neck.

“So, not that I’m complaining, babe, what with all the romancing lately?” Tommy asked.

“You deserve it.” Was Bucks simply reply. Tommy looked at him with a mixture of adoration with a hint of confusion. “You go out of your way to show me how much you love me and to do all these sweet and romantic things for me, but you deserve them too. You deserve to be shown how much you mean to me also.” Tommy was looking at him with those eyes again - the big bright ones Buck first saw right before he kissed him for the first time - and he had to use every bit of strength to hold back from jumping him, because he needed to say this before his courage disappeared.

“I see how you look at these little moments in the romcoms you love and I hate that you never got to experience them, so I wanted you to have some of them of your own. Our own. Plus, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to tell you just how much I love you. To tell you how unbelievably happy I am that you walked, well, flew into my life. To tell you that I have never in all of my life thought that I deserved to have someone so beautiful and kind and wonderful and just fucking incredible as you. And.. and to ask you to marry me.”

Tommy blinked. Did he hear that correctly?

“Wh-what?”

“I know, it’s- we’ve not even been together a full year yet, and full disclosure I didn’t even know I was going to ask until, like, 10 minutes ago, so I don’t even have a ring, and-“ Tommy grabbed Buck either side of his neck and pressed his lips firmly against his. When Tommy pulled back his cheeks were wet with tears cascading over his beautiful lower lashes. Finally, Buck thought, though he kept that to himself.

“Hold that thought.” He said simply before quickly leaving the room. He took 2 steps at a time as he hurtled upstairs, before running back down seconds later back to Buck still stood in the center of the dining room.

He lifted up his palm on top of which was a dark blue velvet box, opened, with 2 tarnished silver bands of differing sizes, each with a shiny silver strip running around the centre of each of them.

“You bought.. how long have you..” Buck could barely get the words out. His eyes kept flicking between Tommys beautiful face and the rings in his hand.

“About a month. Well, I ordered them custom made about 2 months ago but I’ve had them for a month.”

“Custom?” Was all Buck could get out.

Tommy pointed to the shiny part of the rings. “A couple of years ago I had this rescue and the husband of the woman we were life flighting was telling us about how they met. Anyway, he said that his family had this tradition of putting something sentimental in the band to give to your partner as.. sort of as a piece of you. You know that piece of metal that sits on my desk in the study?”

“Y-yeah. It’s part of the blade from the first chopper you flew when you transferred to harbour.”

“Right. Well, it now has a little chunk missing.” He laughed. “Transferring to the 217 was the first piece of me finally becoming who I always wanted to be. You’re the last piece, Evan.”

Buck had this whole night planned—minus is own spontaneous proposal—and had wanted Tommy to be the feeling pleasantly surprised and loved.. yet here he was himself being loved so fucking beautifully it was taking everything within him to not break apart right there.

“What’s-what’s in your ring?” He asked.

“Well, that was.. a little trickier. And full disclosure on my part— Maddie knows because I had to enlist her help.”

“Okay..”

“It’s difficult to pick something when your boyfriend loves so many things,” he teased “and then Maddie.. she gave me a little silver bracelet that she was given as a kid and-“

Buck inhaled a breath when he realised what bracelet Tommy was referring to. Immediately his whole chin began to quiver and tears filled his eyes.

“The one that Daniel gave to her.”

“Yeah.” Tommy said softly. “She told me how he’d seen it one day when he was with your grandparents when he was 6 or something and insisted he give to her for her birthday.” Buck nodded, not being able to find words. “She said that this would be something that would be special to you because you never got to know him. Is-is that okay?”

Buck looked from the ring back to up Tommy; eyes completely blurred from tears pouring out of him.

“I.. this..” He could always find peace in Tommy eyes but this was all so- it was overwhelming and.. he took a deep breath to try and calm himself.

“Tommy, this whole night was-was supposed to be about you.. a-and showing you just how much to mean to me and then..” he blew out another breath trying to center himself “and then here you are with the most beautiful fucking gesture, I.. I can’t..” The tears flowed once again and this time he threw his arms around Tommys neck and held on tight. Tommy, as he always did, reciprocated and held him tightly back.

“I love you so fucking much.” He cried into Tommys neck. Tommys own tears were flowing too, now.

“God I love you, too, Evan. More than I could ever even show you.”

“I don’t know-“ Buck pulled back with a laugh “I think you hit it out of the ball park with this one.” He gently thumbed Tommys tears from his cheeks. He looked closer at the rings.

“Are there inscriptions?”

“Only on yours.” Tommy replied, sniffing.

“For my Evan. Always.” Buck read out loud. Tommy wiped away Bucks next tears that came. They were the only type of tears he ever wanted to illicit from his Evan.

“I thought you would what to decide what to inscribe on my ring.”

“Can I put it on you now?” Tommy asked.

“Uh, technically I should be putting yours on you because I asked first. Actually, you haven’t actually said yes by the way..”

Tommy reached up an gently fixed a curlon Bucks head and looked at him with those big earnest eyes again.

“Yes.”

Buck took his ring out of the box and slid it onto Tommy finger, then Tommy did the same with Bucks ring.

Buck gripped the lapels of Tommys tux and pulled him into a kiss. They both sighed into it. It wasn’t a kiss that they’d shared before; this one was full of promise, of hope, a future - the rest of their lives as husbands.

Tommy pulled back for a second “By the way, I did promise Maddie that the second we became engaged that we would face time her. Where’s your phone?”

“She can wait a little bit.” Buck replied aiming his lips at Tommys neck.

“You sure? She might be mad.” Buck lifted up and looked Tommy in the eyes.

“Tommy, there’s only one thing I want to do right now and it absolutely does not involve my sister.”

“She can wait a little bit.” Tommy repeated wrapping his arms around his Evans neck and pulling him in for another deep kiss.

[emotionallychargedtowel]

Hey, Rose. I think we're in agreement here, or at least mostly so. I'm thinking about this a bit differently, but I think the difference might be mostly semantic.

I would say that sex was the problem—in a way. But it was only the problem insofar as it was a specific way of expressing and deepening intimacy that Nakarai and Hagiwara both felt a need for and weren't able to experience in their respective relationships. And although they both complained, and talked as though their frustrations were normal and reasonable, a part of each of them thought that they might be weird or disgusting for wanting sex, or wanting it enough for it to be a big issue for them. It may have been more personalized, too. They may have thought it was weird or disgusting or unreasonable for them to want or expect sex, that there was something wrong with them or lacking in them that made this the case. So when they came together in this intimate way, they wanted sex, but what they really needed was to be seen by another person in an authentic way and still be accepted.

That said, I think it was still crucial for it to happen in a sexual setting, because that's where all of that shame had built up. The reason the emotional intimacy they experienced was so impactful was because they were able to be themselves, including being sexually expressive, while being accepted. Not just accepted—embraced, in the metaphorical sense as well as the literal sense.

I think the sex scene was handled pretty much perfectly. I don't think a scene that prioritized being arousing would have served this story well at this point. Among other things, this version of the scene felt really realistic to me.

Not that more titillating sex scenes necessarily aren't realistic. I think the feeling that a scene like that gets across is really reminiscent of a feeling one can experience in a real sexual context, not because life is like a perfectly lit and edited piece of media but because when the circumstances are right, sex can (temporarily) make you feel like everything is as perfect as it looks in a TV show, or it can sweep you along so that time feels like it's passing as quickly as it does in a montage, or it can make you feel things so strongly that there might as well be dramatic music playing all around you.

But it isn't always like that. Sometimes time feels like it's moving more slowly instead of faster, sometimes the timing of everything feels a little off, sometimes you're so painfully self-aware that it's like the soundtrack of the movie of your life got abruptly silenced. The one time in my life when I cheated on someone, the experience was a lot more like the latter, a lot more like what happened with Nakarai and Hagiwara, than it was like the usual kind of sex scene. And not because it was some kind of terrible event. I was falling in love, or thought I was. I was conflicted, and guilt-ridden, but I was elated at the same time. But that didn't stop everything from feeling strange.

There's nothing wrong with the kind of sex scene we're used to as QL viewers. But I think in this specific instance, that kind of scene wouldn't have made sense and would have taken the viewer further away from the things the makers of the show wanted to foreground. The intense vulnerability of the scene accomplished a few different things. It showed us a realistic path for Nakarai and Hagiwara from mysterious email correspondents and coworkers to lovers, because the emotional intimacy in that scene was so strong and so central that one can imagine how it would mark a huge shift in their feelings. It helped the viewer maintain some sense of affiliation and sympathy with the leads even as they engaged in infidelity, something most people have a visceral negative reaction to. And it brought the story back to its center, back to the themes that have been the most vital part of the narrative from the beginning.

I hope this makes sense, because I'm writing it when I'm very sleepy. If not, I'll try clarifying in the morning!

I love that, for two guys who were apparently desperate to get laid, in the end, them sleeping together was about anything but that. It's almost as if sex was never really the problem.

[khaoala]

Hi, sorry for making my problem your problem, but I'm feeling a little low for a variety of reasons, including the fact that, despite my best blocking skills, I still haven't been able to fully avoid the ppl throwing shade at KB/FK's impact (or lack thereof according to them) in THK (seriously, feels like I'm unwillingly stuck in an endless game of whac-a-mole just with bad takes/poor fandom etiquette!). So I thought I'd try and take my mind off it by sending you an extremely self-indulgent ask! As an FK fan extraordinaire (and one of my fave giffers btw), what are your:

favourite scenes from each of their shows?

favourite FK moments from real life?

hopes and dreams for THK finale?

hopes and dreams for the Holy Grail of FK shows? E.g. ideal plot or genre, relationship dynamic, supporting cast, director, etc.

And now for the harder questions! Your mission, should you choose to accept, is to convert an unbeliever into an FK stan (of them as both separate actors and as a pairing). You can only pick ONE scene from their entire repertoire for each category. Go!

best acting from First

best acting from Khao

best acting from FK as a pairing

best demonstration of FK's chemistry

best kiss (aesthetics+characterisation+emotion+context+whatever other criteria you choose!)

I eagerly await your answers! (but obvs you're under no obligation to respond - tbh, even just forming the ask has helped lighten my mood! Feel free to ignore or to throw it over to someone else if you'd rather, or even if there's anyone else you think would be interested in contributing - I just enjoy hearing other ppl's 'FK as Acteurs' highlights! Someone gushing about my faves = instant serotonin boost!)

In return (and as tribute to your new handle), I offer you this, imo, grossly overlooked example of Khao pulling his signature Khaoala move: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GhSzVQvX0AAm7mh?format=jpg&name=900x900 ...😉

i'm sorry about that, anon. curating your online bubble can be a lot of work and it's not always 100% and i'm sorry you're getting stressed bc of that. i'm not sure if you're going to the tags on either twitter or tumblr, but i'd recommend you stay away of those. twitter is a bit more difficult, but once you get your little bubble things get better but for tumblr, if you're just looking for pretty edits like the ones fandom provides, i'd recommend checking only the thkedit tag. it's a lot better than dealing with the trolls with poor fandom etiquette. i hope you find a space you feel more comfortable and welcomed, anon, i know i say this often, but fandom spaces are supposed to give you relief and not headaches.

you didn't even ask for advice and i'm already rambling, i'm so sorry, but to your questions which were such a delight to receive (you have no idea how happy i felt for being called a fk fan extraordinaire and to know i'm one of your favorite giffers. i love to know people like the things i do, it does wonders to my self-esteem).

ATTENTION!

this is a nearly 2000 words word-vomit reply where i talk in length about my favorite topic of the last couple of years, firstkhaotung. i'm sorry for not being able to be concise. pls have the picture the anon sent as their favorite khaoala moment which i must agree, is extremely underrated, as a form of apology.

1.favourite scenes from each of their shows? (i'll just pick the ones they were paired together bc you know, there's a lot)

the eclipse - akkayan's first kiss in akk's room. that scene is so important to them, and also to me. the way ayan was so careful with akk, he took his time, gave akk room to assess the situation, back away if he wanted to. how softly he spoke to akk and how scared akk was of all of that. that scene was beautiful beautiful beautiful and so well acted, too.

moonlight chicken - listen, i know they only have three scenes, but they are all very important to me, alright? with that being said, the scene in alan's office. alan is smiling like gaipa hung the stars in the sky with his bare hands and it's full sunshine mode, and first's smile is so beautiful, and he's flirty, gaipa is oblivious, it's just so sweet. they are healing and that's amazing.

only friends - the fight in sand's apartment. though the therapy scene is just as amazing, i feel like the apartment fight has so much impact. the way sand was collected the whole time and only allowed himself to break down once ray was out of earshot. and how ray was so distraught by the idea of the one person he thought he could trust betraying him, it was awful. it makes me teary to this day.

the heart killers - the scene at the beach in ep. 8. thank you first for adding a whole monologue to this scene. i can totally understand why that's his favorite. the tiredness, the desolation, they are both so exhausted and bison doesn't want to fight anymore and he's angry, but he loves kant, and kant doesn't want to lie to bison and wants him to know that. it's beautifully acted. i stayed on that scene for days. it made my heart hurt so good.

2. favourite FK moments from real life?

i have too many that i suddenly forgot as soon as i read this question, so at some point i might even add to this when i remember. but the one i can think about right now was when they were on arm's share for first's birthday and khaotung's wish for first in the upcoming year was: "as you grow, you might find more people, but if you do, let them go, stay only with me instead."

3. hopes and dreams for THK finale?

i do hope for a wedding. i didn't want a double wedding bc i find them so tacky, but with the recent talks with fadelstyle + style's dad, that might be where they are going IF they are even going to have one. as you might have noticed, i'm not stressed about the finale. i think they'll have time enough to access the most urgent matters (gay sex in prison) and with fadelbison spending their time locked up, they'll have all the room to live normal lives like they wished. bison talked about assassins not being able to have a home, family and a lover so i hope they get all of that and more.

4. hopes and dreams for the Holy Grail of FK shows? E.g. ideal plot or genre, relationship dynamic, supporting cast, director, etc.

oh man, i'd love for them to work with the women in gmm, first of all. and i know i had a talk about gl people hating men (with reason in some cases) but gmm loves to experiment with them, so pls let them act with namtanfilm (these four in a show would make my brain stupid happy). sarah pitched an idea that was very similar to the one i had in my head, though hers have first and film as siblings, but the premise would be the same. one trying to help the other approach their crushes. it's silly, slice of life, light comedy stuff which i know they can pull off just as well as the heavy drama stuff.

i'd also love to see them in a show a la sammon with the thriller and investigation vibes. but i'm no fanfic writer and i'm happy with most plots i'm given and if it's them, i know it'll be well-acted.

as for directors, p'aof is the pick for most bl stans, and i agree, i hope they get the chance to work with him again, and have fk as the mains this time. i'd love to see them work with p'nuchy as well, from not me, or the director of be my favorite and who's going to direct joongdunk's and skynani's shows this year. he's amazing, i loved what he did with be my favorite, and while i'm not sure if i'll tune in for either of these new shows, i know he'll do great.

(i love that you deemed this first questions as easy and these one as harder, because let me tell you, i had a hard time with both sets!

1.best acting from First

i can only talk about what i've seen, and despite hearing all the praises for his portrayal of a girl stuck in boy's body in the shipper, i didn't have the guts to watch it yet. i was debating between the "break-up" scene in front of yolo and this one, but i need to praise first as akk. while gmm was going their reprise of the eclipse last year, i took that chance to rewatch the show as well, and i can't believe first didn't get a nomination for his portrayal of akk. he's spectacular in his scenes as this hard-working, perfectionist, in-the-closet, slightly homicidal and self-destructive student prefect. the one scene that makes me stop for like five minutes every time is the one where thua exposes him as the curse and he cries in the stairs. and i know there are people who aren't fan of scenes that are heavy on the dramatics, but that scene alone is so sad and first manages to express that masterfully bc it's terrifying yes, but it also feels cathartic in a way bc there's no weight of that lie on him anymore, so he cries ans sobs and leans on aye for support. idk, it just stuck with me for such a long time.

2. best acting from Khao

ray was khao's best performance in my opinion, and while i agree with everyone who mentions his therapist scene (which was a masterpiece honestly, no one and i mean no one would be able to deliver that one other than him the way he did), i'll go with mew's birthday party. i remember watching the bts of that scene and force was speechless and said that was his favorite scene they had shot until then, and man, there's a reason for that. he ate that up! the pure anger and control of the scene he had. the room was full of people but everyone's eyes were on him, and ray was terrifying in that one. that's what i mean when i say khaotung might be shorter than most of his co-stars but he knows when to use his presence to appear actually menacing. ray on mew's birthday party was scary.

3. best acting from FK as a pairing

you said i have to convince a non believer to stan fk, so i'll use the scene where they reconcile in only friends, ep. 10, if i'm not mistaken bc when you have a scene that was a page or two long, and direction shortened shortened shortened it until it was only an "i'm sorry" and they acted so well that it was convincing enough to make you, the audience, fully believe in the sincerity of the apology and the love and regret that laced their hug, that's a skill. they acted their asses off in that scene and the only line of dialogue was an apology.

4. best demonstration of FK's chemistry

okay so for this one, i'll say every time they showed casual intimacy. i feel like it's so easy for them to ignore casual intimacy in shows, but especially as kantbison, fk showed so much of their chemistry in the little touches. they are a very physical couple and they are comfortable being in each other's embrace and it's beautiful to see that being portrayed. holding hands, worshiping each other's bodies, sniffing their hair, kissing their knuckles, just feeling each other close, that's when you felt they are actually each other's person, they are actually so into each other that even crawling under each other's skin wouldn't be enough.

5. best kiss (aesthetics + characterisation + emotion + context + whatever other criteria you choose!)

most beautiful kiss i always think about the smoke kiss in only friends just because the aesthetic of it was amazing. the build up to it was amazing, and hot and heavy with tension and it was so delicious. i scream every time they kiss for the first time in shows, but the smoke kiss left me with my jaw in the ground for several minutes.

alternatively, in thk, the beach kiss for how meaningful it was since it was their first kiss with no lies between them, and the swing kiss that was perfect, they were so into that kiss and it felt so earned, too. fk really knows how to kiss.

also, akkayan's bridge kiss in our skyy 2, never forget that kiss. they were into it and delivering like no one else. absolutely gorgeous.

and let's remember all the pecks, too, because i have a soft spot for all of them. kantbison, yet again, carrying it in the pecks department (did you guys notice that kantbison kissed every ep? it was amazing to see).

and i think this is it? i finally managed to answer everything. ngl, i answered your ask first before a couple others that are sitting on my inbox bc i feel you needed the pick me up and i love talking about firstkhao. this was very fun. thank you for sending me this, and i hope you feel better.

[luna-loveboop]

I want. Four to get appreciation. Because

Four gave a ton of unnoticed help when Twilight was injured

The fight with Wild was difficult, and I know we're all concerned about his negative view of the shadow crystal

But Four did something that no one else really thought of to help- He took care of Twi's stuff

From the beginning he told Twilight to not worry about them

So Four took care of pretty much everything but the others (that Sky and Wars handled)

He took care of Epona

Which is so very important- he took care of Twilight's horse. After her arrival at the stable Four followed up on her

And for Epona, a horse so attached to her human, having some company can help so much for reassurance

He took care of Twilight's stuff

He got Twi's shield- his bags and equipment, and organized it into one place

And he was worried. He obviously found the shadow crystal while handling Twi's stuff, but his negative reactions to it were out of concern.

Also- because of his placement in this scene

I'm fairly convinced Four was ready to start cooking before Wild showed up (since he's beside the counter with food supplies). At the very least he had the basket of fruit out for everyone -but he was literally standing with food behind him- he thought of everything

And he did housekeeping!

Wars payed for the inn, so Four took care of the inn

Realistically these boys were probably not too concerned with tidyness. Four got all of Twi's things on one table, and took care of the room they stayed in

Organizing tables and Twi's things, having food supplies ready, and opening the curtains- overall he was the one tidying up the inn

Four helped in a huge way! He took care of Twi's horse (Epona is so important), his equipment and shield and bag, as well as the other rooms in the inn

Four filled in all the little tasks that others didn't think of. He helped in ways that were needed, but not obvious

There's a lot of problems with the shadow crystal and with Wild, and I don't know what's gonna happen in the future

But don't forget this- don't forget that Four was one who stepped up in an almost unnoticeable way

Don't forget that when everyone was barely holding it together, Four visited Twilight's horse and took care of his things

No matter what develops in the future- this amount of care shown is important ya know?

.

Art and comic from Jojo @linkeduniverse au :)))

[hotvintagepoll]

Oh no I missed coffee night!!!!

I wanted to ask you about Hitchcock 😔 If you're willing to answer, which movies of his do you think are overrated and which do you think are actually good? He's my most watched director (because film school) but I only genuinely like a few of his films and always disagreed with my classmates about which ones were the best

I feel like I'm holding up a Daffy Duck style sign that says "shoot me" because Hitchcock is so well thought of by cinephiles versus me, the basic horny mod who watches movies with hot people in them. With that said, I remember Rope, Dial M for Murder, North by Northwest, and To Catch a Thief all left me a bit flat, because I felt like he was prioritizing pushing technical limits or creating extravagant images over deeper characters and relationships. I love a good technical limit-pushing, but it needs to serve the story! And sometimes I feel like he has an idea he wants to try or an image he wants to show and puts so much focus on developing it that characters' reality and interest kind of falls by the wayside—they become pawns navigating his situations, instead of interesting characters in their own right.

To be fair, this is more a characteristic of his later work than his early work—The Lady Vanishes is one of my favorite movies, and I remember Notorious and Spellbound both being enjoyable when I watched them a few years ago. Again, basic film watcher here. Don't show this post to the Criterion collection.

[kaidanalenkosprmanager]

"Did I ever tell you about my Omega casino run in with the Blue Suns, Eclipse, and the Blood Pack Vorcha mafia? Five thousand credits and a bottle of whiskey?"

Ft. Staff Cmdr. Kaidan Alenko, Operations Chief Ashley Williams, Zaeed Massani, & Seven. Dominik Shepard. Phoebus. MIRA'S MORE CANON ME1.5 "Are you Phoebus?" AKA: Pt. 1 of some of what happens between ME1 and ME2 with the Vorcha mafia storyline. :) Mass Effect: Legendary Edition (2021)

[heytheredeann]

“Yes, there is a place where someone loves you both before and after they learn what you are.” ― Neil Hilborn

[kaiowut99]

Also, always a bit amused when 4K misses a spot while blanking things like this lol

[fingertipsmp3]

Maybe I did this to myself but it does irk me when people see me knitting and they ask who it’s for and I say it’s for me and the immediate reaction is “you should sell it” yeah… let me spend at least a week’s worth of my free time making an item I like, want, and would wear just to sell it on etsy, making at most a £2 profit on materials and not being compensated for my time whatsoever 👍🏻

[lizzerswillpoststuffmethinks]

Spoiler: I didn't go to sleep. But I will shortly after this post

[digi-destiny]

DigiDaily Day 1 / Koromon

Simple little guy for day 1 :)

[927roses-and-stuff]

honestly as much as i hate watching those adrienette scenes, i can't fault marinette when she's just being genuinely so awkward.

and by that i mean like the recent episode where she doesnt know how to act as a gf and runs away or those scenes where she freezes in front of adrien, not the parts where she has his entire schedule in her room (seriously its been ten years but i still go wtf)

like thats just how being a hopelessly romantic teenager is?? 😭 being painfully awkward and cringe and as painful as it is to watch, its nice that not everything is suave or smooth-sailing or cool

(i say this but i skipped all the date scenes in the new ep sorry absolutely cannot subject myself to that despite understanding why)

[100-gar]

Controversial take but i watched all of jjk, in subbed, so it had my full attention 100% of the time, and i am of the opinion that it just fucking sucks.

So me and my wife were talking about it, and we were trying to figure out why people like it and we've come up short. I do not understand what's so appealing about this show for so many people. Can someone PLEASE tell me.

[ayyponine]

Same venue. Same-ish crowd. Opposing seasons. Contrasting vibes.

[sysig]

Little guys (Patreon)