#but sometimes it feels like people only want me to draw their characters
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Mr. Loverman | Scarabia animatic 🐍☀️
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Something something happy pride month
(Ramble under the cut)
Since I’m drawing Jamil and Kalim to like every romance song in existence, of course I had to draw them to mr. Lovernan; its only natural! And this song fits them so well too… the ways that Kalim talks to Jamil are so sickenly sweet and loving, they make Jamil wish he was gone. I think it’s so perfect to have that one voiceline where Kalim says Jamil’s name, but not with his usual trust or love or kindness, but rather with disbelief, fear, and confusion. That way the song can have a double meaning for them! Kalim’s sweet words make Jamil sick, but when Jamil’s plans fell apart and Kalim called out for him, confused and refusing to believe that his closest companion would betray him, it still makes Jamil’s stomach churn. I bet that sometimes Jamil wishes Kalim could just shut up.
But Jamil still cares about Kalim, still remembers when they were friends. Their relationship is complex, and though he hates it, I think he still does love and care deeply about Kalim, but all those feelings are just in a very weird and difficult place. I absolutely adore that double meaning! The ways in which Kalim talks to Jamil makes Jamil feel a lot of things, negative, positive, and he hates it. But “wishing i were gone” and “running on and on” can apply to both his negative feelings of desperation, hatred, loathing and disgust, and also those feelings that deep inside make him wish their situations were different, that things didn’t end up like this. Jamil lies a lot, also to himself, and all his feelings are so tangled and stuck (dude is super emotionally constipated and needs therapy fr). I LOVE the character development Jamil and Kalim got in book 6 and 7, because they’re slowly making their way towards building a healthier, mutual relationship, and I’m so happy for them! I will be eagerly awaiting the day their relationship is fixed, and they’re happy with themselves, eachother, and life
As always, please remember that these are just MY interpretations of and takes on these characters! If you disagree or want to share your own interpretations, thats valid, and please do share! I love to read analysises and rambles! :)
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Drawing has been really difficult again; im busy with school and I can’t get myself motivated to draw. Social Media has also been bumming me out. I’m really sensitive, and there’s been a lot of negativity on my fyps and timelines, which has just killed my mood. Good news also though- the twst anime finally got a release date??! I have been waiting for this for YEARS, and I can’t wait to see our boys animated and for the fandom to grow and for new merch! There’ll be so much more cool fanart, new character discussions and analysises, new people who get to experience twst for the first time!
Kalim is such a cutie, he’s so fun to draw! (Until suddenly my hands decide they don’t know how to draw him anymore).
(GUYS HAVE YOU SEEN THE UPCOMING CATER CARD??? IM NOT OKAY HE LOOKS SO GOOD AFHAGSGDHJ)
#twisted wonderland#twst#Jamil viper#kalim al asim#scarabia#ディズニー ツイステッドワンダーランド#animatic#fanart#animation#art#my art#disney twisted wonderland#noahsart#mr loverman#book 4#cater Diamond#overblot#jamikali#ジャミル・バイパー#カリム・アルアジーム#ツイステッドフンダラーンド#twst jamil#twst kalim#angst#twisted wonderland animatic#twisted wonderland fanart#character analysis#ramblings
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when you made a mistake of saying Rose isn’t straight on tiktok and now you have 250 people proving you she didn’t love Pearl:……..
you want to know something very ironic?
susan egan, the voice of rose quartz, brings up pearl + rose’s relationship every. chance. she can get. & she describes them as having a relationship! she brought them up in the recent livestream, she sang the rose with pearl’s va on youtube. so many people who work for steven universe have stated that the love between pearl and rose is mutual. voice actors and storyboard artists have portrayed the characters as being in a relationship. rebecca sugar even confirmed that they’re not unrequited. the people who made pearlrose, essentially, either ship them or at the very least see their dynamic as being one that involves mutual feelings that go beyond platonic.
“i don’t know if i would call it unrequited!” — rebecca sugar interrupting an interviewer who describes pearl + rose as unrequited
“if it’s not, then i’ve misunderstood the whole thing!” — storyboarder raven molisee, also responsible for rose’s scabbard, when asked if the relationship between pearl + rose is romantic.
“i LOVE these two so i was absolutely ecstatic to draw this scene. i remember being really pressed to pack all of their passion and pearl’s smugness into one moment that lasts the length of a guitar solo… and their fusion that’s just an embodiment of that into one giant, shamelessly beautiful dancer!” — katie mitroff about fusion in we need to talk
rose quartz is my comfort character & even that is an understatement. she’s so much like me and she’s so meaningful, and i wish that more of the fandom could see this.
the way that her character is perceived really reflects some of the issues that we see in real life as well.
she’s amazing for understanding mental illness & trauma and that responses to pain are not always pretty. things are complicated & so are people. some people in the steven universe fandom want to oversimplify things by often making her a heartless villain. on the other hand, i feel like some rose fans act like she’s done nothing wrong or they like to downplay her issues and mental health struggles. not necessarily here, but elsewhere. some people hate the idea that rose’s decision to give up her physical form was self destructive, but it absolutely was. she’s not a villain but she is a cautionary tale. she has a big heart but she’s absolutely flawed. she never wanted to hurt anyone, but she did.
she’s amazing for body positivity in ways that go beyond simple things like appearance, but people are… so weird about it sometimes. i still remember being twelve years old & reading comments about how rose was “pretending to be fat” the whole time after the pink diamond reveal. that was… really upsetting to read! six years later, i’m trying to help folks understand that this is not the case. there’s so much more depth and detail and comfort, really, than those silly reddit jokes and fandom hostility.
… and she’s amazing for sapphic representation. she’s canonically m-spec but the fandom can be so, so weird about that. as a bisexual girl myself, it bothers me so much that we need to convince so many people that she loved pearl while pretty much everyone validates her relationship with a man. not only validates… they see it as perfect and better and i don’t usually see people talk about the many flaws of that relationship. yes, pearl + rose’s relationship was flawed too. rose has a pattern of unstable relationships! but people can be codependent and genuinely in love at the same time. they can be in bad situations but they can still be… genuinely in love. & pearl and rose’s relationship is not less valid because people perceive their relationship as… more flawed than the other relationship (mainly because lots of people don’t think about the other relationship’s issues)
the biggest misconception of pearl and rose’s relationship is that their love wasn’t real
the biggest misconception of rose and greg’s relationship is that they got married
that’s very interesting to me.
if rose isn’t seen as a straight up villain, i find that lots of the fandom puts so much importance on two things: having a relationship with a man, and being a mother. & as a girl who relates to her, i think there’s so much more to her character and i’ll stop there because i have an entire thing i wrote about rose & the fandom here! /np/nf
i’m sorry about the fandom, anon. i’d go on tiktok and defend you but i don’t have a tiktok account because of my adhd (racing thoughts + a bunch of videos about different things at once = not my favourite app). you’re absolutely right and i wish more people understood that.
#pearlrose#steven universe#crystal gems#pink diamond#rose quartz#pearl x rose#prose#su#pearl su#rosepearl#meta su#su analysis
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Metalion was arguably one of Pelle's closest friends in Norway, and the very same person who saw Pelle trying to drown guinea pig in a jar, then putting it in the microwave. That story would have never been known if not for Metalion. He decided to share it, which points to him NOT being the "Pelle was an angel" type of person.
Yet he said that Pelle only pretended wanting to kill the farm cat and said he actually believes Pelle could have caught the cat if he wanted but pretended it was too fast for him. He also expressed belief that Pelle was actually fond of cats "in his own twisted way".
(Metalion was also the person who received the famous rant from Pelle about the inclusion of Garfield comic in the Slayer mag, with the accompanying "I HATE CATS" drawing where he put Garfield in the meat grinder).
What do you think about this? Do you agree with Metalion or you think he could have been wrong? I could have asked you this in dm but I feel like reading the discussion if anyone wants to add their two cents.
I definitely feel like Pelle was trying harder than his metalhead peers to seem brutal, tough, cold and 'evil' and his harsh antipathy towards cats is, in my opinion, the easiest way in which you can tell he's purposefully exaggerating his image.
Now, I wouldn't say he was an angel either. He was very complex as a character in the scene and I'm glad we have this story from Metalion to contour a wider view on Pelle's personality. I wouldn't consider him evil or an animal abuser for killing a rodent, but the way in which he carried out the act is quite interesting for a few reasons. If I recall it correctly, he was drunk when he did that. We all know that alcohol allows disinhibition and promotes reckless/ unthoughtful behavior. I see him as having fun and wanting to see 'cool and brutal' to his friends, so his sporadic decision to microwave the hamster must've been born from the wish to impress. And what wanting to impress really means? To belong.
I very much believe that a lot of Pelle's actions and declarations originate from his wish to belong, to be perfectly integrated into a small group of friends that he made. And this could be traced back to being bullied in school, having low self-esteem and being emotionally neglected. These are some of the conclusions that I tend to have when looking back at his history and relationship with others.
I don't have any way in which I can prove or disprove this, but my gut feeling tells me that Pelle wasn't sadist, cynic, or evil in the slightest. I believe he was, in fact, a sensitive person and sensitive does not equal 'angle' or innocent. I think he was forcing himself to be more intimidating than he was in reality because of a tough lesson that he's been taught since early in his life.
Another aspect of why he might be pressured to maintain this exaggerated act was because of the environment, after all the black metal scene was designed to capture 'the worst' in people as a backlash to conformity and normality. He couldn't be less aggressive, less brutal, less 'cool' than his peers, not when he finally had the chance to express himself in a way that could be appreciated by those who shared his feelings.
If Pelle was indeed prone to violence and aggression, it would've shown and there would've been stories about this, but there are none. The only person he ever hurt was himself, and this is not because he couldn't hurt anyone, because he could if he wanted to, but he took it on himself as a mindful decision.
Although self-destructive behavior is common for people with low self-esteem, it is not the rule. Many people lash out on others for their own feelings of self-hatred. (Vikernes for example)
I don't see the possibility of him secretly liking cats this far-fetched because exaggerating about just how much you hate something is sometimes a good indication of how you actually enjoy something that you're very ashamed of.
To sum this up, I think Metalion was observant enough or lucky enough to see beyond Pelle's shocking acts of impression. I see that instantly cooked rodent incident as something isolated, pushed by the circumstances in which Pelle was at that time rather than part of a continuum of cruel events.
I think Pelle had a limit when it came to seeming cool, and this would make a lot of sense if h indeed chose not to catch the cat at the farmhouse when he could just do that.
Some people take their frustration on smaller creatures because they need to punish a lesser being than them the way they've been punished by a bigger being. This is an antisocial mentality. Pelle could have done so, if he wanted to many times, but he didn't. Also, most antisocial acts are committed ALONE, not with friends, or at a party, or in any social circumstances and things like that don't stay hidden for long, so eventually people start noticing. This is clearly not Pelle's case.
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November update post thing
Drawing of me watching short-form video content without sound vs one where I am lol
If you use short-form video platforms of any kind and would like to help me with my survey you can do so here! Though I'll probably be closing it sometime next week (2nd November 2024 ish) to collate the data for submission.
I've got a metric tonne of deadlines due next week but you know what it's blog update time!!
This is also not going to be scheduled to post because I usually write these on the 29th but I forgot! So it's getting posted now!!
💀 School..
Yeap as I've said I'm in school so that's still in progress, I have completely no idea what I'm doing everyday and as it turns out no time to worry about it either I got deadlines baby!!!
I mean in theory I understand but it's all a big question mark to me, like i need to be reassured like a nervous dog that I'm doing the right thing and what not
And because of that I'm real sorry about pushing the Abacelsus zine to the back burner, I actually got quite a lot of it done before I had to lock in for school of course.
And though I said I had a lot of sketches I didn't post well they were shittier than I liked them to be so I wanted to make it look nicer. Oh well dems the breaks.
Another screenie of my school work, they didn't really go into depth about how to specifically design stuff so it's basically me frankenstien-ing stuff I've seen existing and just trying my best lol
I mean.. overall it's funnnn... i guess... I do like projects but everyone in my class are adults with established jobs or goals. Even those who are around my age seem to know what they're aiming for too, feels like I'm an unemployed little sucker fumbling in the dark. Can be humiliating I won't lie, why is learning something new so embarrassing?
Aside from that I'm seeing people be so social online while studying too and it's almost mesmerizing, it's definitely survivor bias but those that can balance it are fascinating to me.
📖Anthology Update
Agh enough of that debbie downer bullshit, I'll tell you what I've also got due next week! That's right!! The drafts for my anthology!
Screenie of one of the panels I posted onto my ko-fi discord!
I'm not even half way done and it's due on the 6th of December. I'm beyond FUCKED. Anyway I can get it done by then but the school shit is sucking the life out of me through my ears.
☕ Ko-Fi Page
Deadlines aside I've also randomly launched my Ko-fi Membership page! I haven't quite had the time to properly promote it but it's there and I've been updating it every so often
I've got stuff up there already and comics of things that aren't polished (or sfw) enough for me to post. Especially if you're interested in my characters and would like to support me, here's a good hub to check all of it out!
The Ko-fi Discord updates the most frequently, basically every time I draw anything (Which is quite often!). The actual ko-fi gallery is only being updated every week to prevent spam.
Shout out to my one ko-fi member, wormfriend. Right now it's quite funny to have just the one but I definitely would like more so plz join!!! I promise I draw a lot!!!
🌯 Wrapping it up...
That's all I've got for you this month, real grind-y and uneventful but hey some moths are like that. I talked about opening my commissions again in December and I intend to keep that promise but as of yet the first week is not looking too hot haha. I'll consider it on the 7th but whuff it's real packed right now!
I don't have really anything else to say or add that isn't either
a) incredibly negative and self deprecating
or
b) cussing the shit out of disrespectful transphobic anonymous asks I've been getting
so I'm just going to end this hastily written blog update here and get back to work!
I leave you with this cool down drawing of a honda civic and my attempts at a motorcycle that can also hover in the air.
As always thank you so much for reading and I've been so busy I haven't even had time to work on my annual redraw that's been sitting in my folders gah! If you’d like to support me, here’s my ko-fi page again and my itchi.io & gumroad as well.
If you have any questions or just generally want to talk to me, my DMs and askbox is always open! Any professional enquires can be sent towards my email as well: [email protected]
XOXO, Stay weird!
-Eliot :)
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I need to share my opinions about my fav hogwarts legacy Characters because I am bored and just want something to kill the time
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Sebastian: What a charming little guy, his heart is in the right place, that place may be a firey shit stew of his own creation but...atleast he can cook?
Ominis: unwilling participant of a comedy Trio between him, seb and MC. They may as well put Ominis on a stage production of "How many times will I let my best friends disappoint me" starring as the voice of Reason. Bless this boy, he works so hard.
Imelda: At first I thought you were just rude, then I saw that you were just so passionate about your craft. I have a love and respect for her now, she can do no wrong in my eyes
Garreth: I needed more of him and less of him at the same time. More because what an absolute cutie pie. Less because potions class would stress me the fuck out. He walked so Sebastian could run, this ginger biscuit is one surname change from Brewing Illegal Vodka in the Gryffindoor commonroom. Also he is Audhd, I know my people when I see them.
Leander: I love him because he is stupid. He wasn't just dropped as a child, he was pelted. And that's OK, I love him all the same. At first he annoyed me....and then I realised he has the same IQ level as me and that is not alot. Little Autism in him, I love him to bits, bless his little cotton socks.
Amit: the most unproblematic guy, Love this guy. He is just here to do homework and look at stars, and he is all out of homework. Absolutely zero Amit slander in my house, ok?
Now in terms of my favourite Teachers
Sharp: this is my Dad now. If I had a coun for every Miserable old Git I kidnapped to make my father figure, I would be very rich with a concerning amount of Miserable old gits in my house. And he hides that he likes to draw!!! Aesop the man you are.
Fig: Also my dad, sometimes (After he kicked the bucket) I visit his old classroom and I actually find it quite difficult to be in there. I feel physical grief not seeing him in there. My MC misses him so much
Headmaster Black: he is a British head teacher. Only a handful of them out there are actually decent people. He isn't one of them. Although he does have serious Style and I respect him for making tough decisions
Ronen: What a Unit. It's so rare you actually meet a teacher who doesn't hate their Job. There is nothing more to say, This is a top Geezer
#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fandom#leander prewett#ominis gaunt#sebastian sallow#imelda reyes#professor sharp#aesop sharp#professor fig#professor black#professor ronen#hogwarts legacy opinions#character opinions
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MOD update!
I’m sorry, but the only reason the ask box is open right now is for questions related to the Wild Children storyline.
I will not be doing seasonal events until it’s finished- I’m just tired of the storyline going on for years because I put it on hold for Nightmare Night, Pony Prom, etc.
If you have questions for The Locksmith/Verdigris, Striking Plate, Echo Wind or Hidden Key, ask away!
If your ask isn’t something on my “asks wanted” list, at least directed to ANY of my OCs, related to a plot line, or can be spun to be used for the plot, I will be deleting it because the workload is stressing me out.
Sorry! 😥
#mod update#i am thankful to get asks at all#but sometimes it feels like people only want me to draw their characters#i have so many stories I want to tell#and hopefully I’ll have a steadier schedule soon that’ll help me update more often
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Something something perhaps the reason Curly lacks a truly undamaged ID where his face is visible is to represent how much damage Jimmy had already affected on him throughout their relationship and the way Curly obscured part of who he is and what he stood to unintentionally cater to this toxic influence in his life.
#I think there is something to say that most people draw post crash curly and may not have every drawn him pre crash#and I think it says something that we only really look at the characters substantially in relation to Jimmy and not their own merits#unless we are discussing how J I M M Y mischarcterizes them cause in this#since we don’t assign a face and identify to Curly’s actions outside of Jimmy until the end their is the question of how much we are viewing#them as separate entities rather than intertwined actions cause while the flipping#of who we play at shows them and parallels and in separable in terms of the story going down#they couldn’t be drastically more different in thinking and you only really realize that at the birthday scene where Curly felt the need to#take responsibility for something while Jimmy just felt the need to take#this is also more so me thinking about all the reason people think Curly and Jimmy could be friends but they are missing the point of Jimmy#and his dynamic there is nothing severely weird or sinister about Curly or his intentions it’s that he’s well meaning to a fault#he’s an average dude having a mid life crisis and Jimmy is a guy that takes advantage of good intentions like the idea#that curly has to be like Jimmy in some way personality humor morally is the exact sort of projection Jimmy wants#to happen and does like it’s the sad and real case that sometimes people just have friends like Jimmy that they can’t cut off for one reason#or another like it’s not highly philosophical people are friends with objective assholes but it’s less about them#and more about the person feeling some obligation to stay like I feel like crafting him into#being more morally grey is to just make it easier to be angrier or think someone with more of a backbone#could of done something but it’s not even that he was spineless he was just too distracted and sometimes that feel like cowardice like even#Swansea waited it’s just the sad truth of how people avoid people like Jimmy or setting them off#sometimes it just does more harm than good I just am so bored with all the takes#acting like there was a perfect man on that ship and that any one outside of Anya knew the exact type of guy Jimmy#was from the get go like the point is other men wouldn’t in rape culture but women and their victims already know#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#throwing rocks at Jimmy
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[vibrating a little too fast] Do You Understand My Vision Yet
#twst#twisted wonderland#cereal tries to draw#cater diamond#jade leech#trey clover#and some other guys but this aint about them#girl i do not even begin to know how to tag this one#trejeikei. treycayjay. caterjadetrey. girl fucking help#i still subscribe to jade having a crush on both of them at the same time and Being Weird About It lol#my fave thing in fanart is w/octavinelle if anyone is drawing shipping art of one of them with someone#the other two being either confused or disgusted or just bullying for fun about it#and then my other favorite is riddle being pissed as hell finding out his beloved card soldier besties are turning to the dark side#fraternizing with the enemy. [kissing a fish boy]#cater and trey both picking octavinelle for their union bday dorm choice is still so funny to me#AND THEN RIDDLE WENT AND PICKED JADE FOR HIS THEORETICAL BROTHER CHOICE LOL god dont even get me started on them#i am also obsessed with jade and riddles dynamic but god. no time for dat now goku.#cater voice hey siri what do u do when a boy holds ur hand and Wont Let Go#i love trey but i feel like i only ever draw him as a tiny head icon w/someone else talking about him fkshfkldshf#i mean ive drawn him in more things sometimes. usually treycay. i just dont post him very much#idk why hes so hard to draw LOL#i passively enjoy treyjade i think i used to look it up more in early twst days#but i ALSO like them both with CATER A LOT and u know me. love to tape characters together. into the polycule soup with you boy.#anyway in that first one cay i think was like 'wow jade kinda never expected u and trey to get together lol no offense -'#and jades like 🤝 well i dont mind sharing 😌#SHARING WHAT- theyre all holding hands now the end :]#riddle voice if u break cater and/or treys hearts it is On Sight jade leech#jade voice teehee well we wouldnt want that ill do my best 😌#riddle is not convinced.#anyway shoutout to ME and the like 1-2 people this might appeal to lol
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no youre completely right - im a gay (trans)man and i legit wanna see so much more about the women bc There Is So Little. I wanna make a lesbian oc who gets bent in half by taash. im very normal.
i’m just tired man!!!! it feels so obvious how disproportionate it is when you’ve got. a cast of characters that we know almost equally little about. and a few of them explode in popularity and it’s like spongebob sticking his hand out the curtain. literally all a character needs to do numbers is to be a light-skinned man
#like you bring up taash!! we know equally little abt taash and emmrich. why is one FUCKING EVERYWHERE and i’m like. scrounging for scraps#sometimes i feel like there has to be a secret other main dragon age tag that has the real stuff in it#but maybe it’s just the tumblr userbase idfk#i feel like i’ve seen a little bit more of neve since the trailer but still not anything on the level as everyone’s fave boys#and before you hit me with ‘lucanis was in a couple short stories’ harding was in the literal entire last game. and she and neve had comics#there’s obviously something to be said about character types too. a lot of people love dark and broody#vs harding keeps getting described as Girl Next Door and that’s much less popular. fine i’m not going to argue abt individual tastes#but like. neve isn’t popping off??? on the columbo fansite????#everyone’s talking about emmrich’s experiments and research but no one talks about bellara’s??#like personally. ok. lesbian opinion so take that for what it’s worth. but i don’t understand all the lucanis thirst#davrin i could understand. davrin can get it. he gets way fewer thirstposts than the other men (hmmm interesting im sure it’s nothing 🙃)#i’m just like. tired. i don’t want to say people can’t enjoy what they’re excited about#but it adds up!#i feel guilty complaining when i am also not doing a lot of Female Character Poasting but like#there’s only so much i can do as someone who can’t draw and has been too busy to keep on top of all the breaking news
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this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑
#yes this is a nel/vas drawing get off me😂#text#i wanted everyone to see it but also since i draw on paper in total silence i think a lot about everything so i wanted to voice some -#- thoughts too's. tbh i've been veeery self indulgent lately#actually i'm happy that n*lv*s is getting actual hits out of me that i like looking at#especially on-paper stuff that i can recall being fun for me to draw. all traditional art is fun to draw#and digital has turned into an actual task for me (only sometimes tho maybe i;m lying.. mspaint we're still bffs)#i think i just don't see the joy in trying to scrap up a ''' finished ''' piece in an art program .. pencil i love you and i love the -#- feeling of it scratching along the paper....sigh............ Rabu#i don't want my blog or thoughts to turn into traditional art suck-off ventures bc ik not everyone can get into it for many possible -#- reasons but if u feel like it U can ok? do it for Pencil✏️ and for me? for silusvesuius? 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚#but Lord i hope i don't also come off as one of those people that r like 'to improve in art just draw that one fictional character u -#- rly like 😂😂' bruh gtfo my face with that.#i'm noticing 'improvement' in my stuff mainly...i think... because i'm always striving to impress#not so much other people that are here just for my art but more so myself#i have a very huge ego (Mind Battle)#also it makes me sad to think about how big egos or genuine (not obnoxious) flauntiness are looked down on#and i can tell bc i used to look down on people that would express the things i'm expressing now#especially in art focused spaces. now i'd rather be in a circle of artists that love to J*rk off their own brain for it's ideas -#-and talent than be w/ very self-conscious artists that are never expressing pride about any of their work#worse if it's to the point where they actively start to fish for compliments bc of it#fishing for compliments is always OK i just wish it didn't stem from insecurity in that context if that makes sense#but maybe that's very easy for me to say and admit bc i did develop a very big ego around my art and ... Creativity? like it's a sims skill#not that i still don't seek out 'attention' or compliments from others to soothe myself but hmmmmmm i hope u feel me.#it just turns me into a very competitive person#who am i competing with? Myself#i'm always in 'you can do better Because you're YOU' mode#which is much better i believe than comparing yourself 2 other artists#i don't think a lot of people read my tag ramblings but if u do i wonder how one feels about a very pompous artist#like me .......(?)
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n one gets him like i do no one understands him like me no one is as insane about him as i am STARTS GNAWING AT THE THE BARS OF MY ENCLSOURE
#toxi.txt#and yet i feel bad for the way i love him because at what point does love for a fictional character simply become sad and pathetic#ive only grown more irritated the more ive started to love him. more annoyed than ive ever been by skinny williams. by bad characterization#by the way i feel like im in my own echo chamber and cant truly talk about him with anybody else because they dont get it -#or because ive talked of him so much its become irritating and annoying and no one wants to hear it anymore#but its not like i can just stop. i wouldnt want to even if i could. he makes me happy#at some point the love is simply... neglect for everything else. im sure people are tired of seeing me draw him over and over and over#and isnt it ridiculous? that i feel like a bad person just for loving a character?#but the amount of people who actually like william continues to dwindle#his tag is quiet and it only gets quieter and sometimes the only people who speak are thise who dont understand him#its a loneliness of my own design other times. its not like like-minded people dont exist#and i guess also#how long can you siphon a well until it runs dry?#i already lack creativity. it's been worse this month or so than ever. maybe sometimes theres nothing else to be done#maybe im only ever repeating myself saying things ive said before. maybe i have nothing good to say at all
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Hi! I recently found your blogs, and can I just say how much I love your character analyses? Your portrayal of each character is always so in depth to the point where I can even picture them acting and speaking the same in game! I'm so impressed and I seriously don't know how you connect to each and every one of them so perfectly :O
If I may ask, what does your research and character profile process look like? As someone interested in writing, I hope to be as skilled as you with analysing characters (and writing plots and writing in general--) one day :) Any tips would be appreciated!
Thank you so much for all the hard work you do. I know I'll enjoy the story you come up with next!
Aww thank you so much!! Honestly sometimes I worry that my analyses won't be to everyone's tastes, so I'm very glad you think that they're good! I feel the same way about my writing because I know they're not the most romantic, so it's a relief to know you like it. ;v; <3 I have a lot to say about your questions though, so I'm going to put it under a readmore. It's an uh... infodump HAHA
When it comes to research, what it basically comes down to is reading everything. Read the character's lore, read their voice lines. Read what other characters have to say about them. Even talking to every NPC you see in the hopes that they'll talk about a character helps out a lot too HAHA. I also recommend going back to old events when doing research too. Reread them. Listen to the voice actor's portrayal of them. Read everything you can.
This is take three of trying to explain my character analysis process, but I'm going to give up and just explain to you the main logic that governs it. Basically what it boils down to is: we are not unique. Humans are not unique. What do I mean by this? People that are certain ways--for example, they have a low self-esteem, consistently overwork themselves, they want children when they get older, etc--they will typically share common characteristics. When you know the defining characteristics of each trait, you can potentially apply that trait to everyone you know that displays those characteristics.
For example, people that constantly overwork themselves typically have unhealthily high levels of perceived responsibility, typically with a self-deprecative trait that they don't deserve to be happy and rest. People that are very showy tend to care a lot about what people think of them. People that are extremely close to their families typically lose the ability to function properly without them.
If you know people that are like the examples above, you know that these observations are pretty accurate. And these examples represent pretty common types of people as well. Once you've seen one of them, you've seen them all. Nobody is unique. And because of that, you can apply these observations to characters because characters are meant to be human. Example one is Kaveh. Example two is Itto. And example 3 is Lyney. Now you've gotten a deeper dive into their psyche.
The way you become better at character analysis is by broadening your internal library of traits and their defining characteristics. This involves three steps: observation, drawing connections between observations, and fine tuning these connections by applying them to other people.
These steps are easy to understand, but let me go a bit more into step one. Observations come in two categories: physical observations and intuitive observations. Physical observations encompass things they physically do. Intuitive observations are larger statements that can't be tied to just a single physical observation. For example, physical observations may be that they don't go out much, they don't talk much in groups but do one-on-one, they wear bright colors, they're rude, etc. Intuitive observations are more: they seem to be uncomfortable around children, they act like they're scared to contact first, they're always on the move, etc.
The second step involves drawing lines between observations and trying to deduce meaning. For example, [they end their sentences using a rising intonation] + [they ask me my opinion a lot] = [this person cares about not sounding rude or unwelcoming]. Or, [they have a low self-esteem] + [they care about being seen as morally good] + [they engage in fandom] = [I probably should not tell this person I think Dottore and his penchant for human experimentation is hot].
Typically the logic goes: [physical observation] + [physical observation] = [intuitive observation]. [physical observation] + [intuitive observation] = [mid-tier intuitive observation]. [intuitive observation] + [intuitive observation] = [top tier intuitive observation].
But it does not end at step two. Step three basically tests to see if your observation from step two is valid or not. When you apply your observation from step two to a multitude of people, you're able to fine tune your observation to make it more generalized and more accurate. Maybe you realize that not everyone that ends their sentences in a rising intonation is necessarily polite, but it's more of a cultural thing. Maybe you see that having low self-esteem isn't always a symptom of having a high moral code. Test, revise, then test again. The higher the tier of your observation, the greater the chance it has of being wrong.
When I analyze characters, I go through my mental library and see which traits and characteristics I've catalogued before. And for things that don't have an exact match, I try to find ones that shares at least a few things in common that may follow the same logic. For example, I don't know anyone like Zhongli. However, I do have a friend that's very outgoing, but you can have a full on conversation with them and leave not knowing anything about them. Can I apply the logic of my friend to someone like Zhongli?
I will say this and I will say this again. People are not unique. Everyone is a copy of someone else in some way. When you treat the characters as if you were analysing any other normal human being, you can quite easily draw conclusions from what they have in common with people you know and have seen.
Anyway, this is so long I am so sorry. Hopefully I didn't completely bowl you over with information. OTL
#interactions#anon#another thing i want to say is like....#don't try to hold back the frankness of your observations#if you've ever read my analyses of kaveh they're uhhh.... not the nicest (tho idk if i only posted them on my personal...)#in order to become aware of flaws of characters you need to be able to accept the flaws objectively in others#if someone is mean then say they're mean. if they have a martyr complex then say they have a martyr complex#don't be afraid of being objective. that only hurts the process#some people think that it's not nice to give attention to the flaws of people you love#in my opinion that's complete bull#when you are aware of a person's flaws you understand them better and they become easier to forgive#you can rightfully say#'yes you may have flaws but knowing them makes me love you even more'#you get me?#also what helps is sharing your analyses with others and have them help you to refine your observations#also don't be afraid to observe and draw conclusions in general#sometimes you may feel you're invading a person's privacy#and uh..... to that....... um...#you have to decide what matters more to you. getting better at analysis or giving someone their privacy HAHA#by this i don't mean like... be a stalker or anything#but i think the biggest thing to actually remember the most is that....#CORRELATION DOES NOT IMPLY CAUSATION#just because a character shares all the traits a pattern you've seen in real life doesn't mean that's their issue#take everything EVERYTHING you deduce with a grain of salt#this is ESPECIALLY so when you are analyzing real people#no matter how accurate you think you may be you are not an empath nor are you a mind reader or god#do NOT act upon your deductions or think you know what's best for people from them#in the end analysis is purely theoretical so like... don't take yourself too seriously and have fun uwu
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having one of those nights where i'm just. extremely frustrated about fatphobia's existence and the fact that whatever i do to try and change it will be a drop in the ocean and there'll always be people who think i'm just saying this because i'm lazy
#and by night i mean its 5am but shhhhh#what sucks is i was actually building my acting confidence back up quite a bit with my delirium stuff#and i still do wanna do more of that!#but i got reminded that regardless of how good an actor i am i don't meet the 'must be this skinny to have emotions' bar#so i could only ever play her over the internet where people can't see my body#which is especially dumb bc she has like 60% of a physical form at best and yet its always a skinny one#and like i love sandman but it has a fatphobia problem. and the show has not exactly rectified it#kinda wanna draw despair skinny and the other endless not to turn the whole depression = overweight thing on its head#bc hell depression also = underweight and frankly i'd rather have no fat characters at all than her be the only one#but i fear that would get misconstrued and i don't wanna bring down that kinda hate on my head#and like i know i can't change what i look like i've tried i gotta be happy with this eventually#but i see no difference between comic despair and myself in the mirror#and sometimes it makes me feel like im two minutes away from growing tusks#so whoooooo oversharing on the internet#just. i wanna punch something but the something is society so unfortunately that's not really possible#okay to rb if you want i give zero fucks about this being shared im just keeping it in the tags bc that's polite
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mizora fans are the only safe side of the fandom for me
#from most safe to less safe#mizora tag i can enjoy evil woman and the occasional hate post#but she deserves that and it doesnt overrrun the tag#m*nthara tag is ok but some fans see her as more evil and more masc than i see her as#weird to me - cant relate#love Lae but the shadowzel hatef*cking ruined my engagement with other fans of hers#mystra tag i instafollow mystra-defenders#instablock mystra haters#literally on sight#because i read the whole post in the tag and i deserve compensation#mystra aint on the same level as c*zador#shes a pompous bitch who withholds blessings not a fcking p*mp/ tr*fficker#love shadowh*art but shes disrespected constantly and stripped of personality in the fandom to be: the woman#i dont follow the tags of the male characters anymore because the amount people will woobify them is legit unsafe#man puts a bomb in his chest because he couldnt take no for an answer#but people want to say “poor baby girl” the fuck?#man is just stupid and a tad scary#honestly sexy but i would be mystra 2.0 if i got with him#larian woobified ast*rion by removing the nuance on whether or not he deserved redemption#fandom performatively “likes” w*ll only when someone makes a big enough stink about him#i feel bad for actual fans because they love something that isnt actually there#his writing literally removes all agency for him#larian infantalized a grown ass black man to constantly be humiliated and removed the rightful anger he had in EA#i need people to admit that the writing is bad and IS racist and enables people to be racist in being dismissive with him#sometimes i do dip into the ast*rion tag tho because those artists know how to draw s*x with women#like those girlies have had s*x before and know what they want and they are so right for it#the wlw art in this fandom has no idea how s*x works#or its so male gazey and prnified it legit makes me squeemish
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bitches prolly out here psychoanalyzing my old art on behalf of my abuser to cushion their belief that im a Horrible Person but then dont see the irony when I point out the shitty things my abuser has drawn and how I see it as clear evidence of their mindset and beliefs (of what's okay to do and how to treat people) descending and pairing that along with everything else they've done and it paints a clear picture of how this person got to the point of thinking it was okay to abuse me the way they did and then the people looking for reasons to hate me through my art will act like "they're just drawings !!!" about their art. which one is it. does someones art say something about them or not? or does it only say something about them if you hate them?
#personally I think me making fun of a douchey type of dude is less bad than drawing 'rape is fun' but yknow#ig I can just weigh the gravity of how bad each thing is accurately idk#vent#'yeah but you started to identify with the douche bag character !!' well- even before i realized I wanted to be him- the plot was#already that he was going to grow out of being a dick. him and mj were going to help eachother realize their flaws and become better#to eachother and everyone else. so by the time i DID realize I wanted to be a guy I already had in mind the mature version of him#floating around but I didn't really post about it bc I didn't want to spoil anything at the time#and it took me a LONG TIME to accept that I wanted to be snake. I was trans before that. and then when I was close to accepting it#I had that whole 'lsd' thing that made me slink back into my shell bc the people I was around made me feel like I would never be a guy#so instead I figured if I couldn't be snake then the next best thing was to be *with* him and started to self ship myself w him and he#evolved even more into an even more mature version of him that by the time I got out on the other side of feeling like I couldn't#be a guy I had this more serious and mature version of him in my mind and started to accept that I wanted to be him and basically was him#and just didn't know bc that version of snake was more like me than the one I made in 2013/14#in 2013/14 I was only ever considering my comic in the context of some sort of comedy and just wanted to make a douchey character#to make fun of bc I had a lot of douchey people in my life who I felt like needed to be knocked down a peg and I figured the best way#to do that was to make an example out of them via the old version of snake and have him be an overly confident asshole whos hubris#often gets himself humbled even if hes too prideful to accept or admit it#at this point in time I didn't really see much of myself in any of my ocs. maybe a lil bit in mj and (mostly)peaches bc I didn't know it wa#ok to id with a guy... but even when I did subconsciously id with him here n there...i didnt relate to snakes douchey-ness like at all.#sometimes I jokingly act like a douche but again its for the same reason that I made snake a douche back then in the first place-#to make fun of people like that- to hopefully show them how foolish they are by me mirroring them or. alternatively. making people#laugh at me acting that way because pretending to act like a douche is easier to enjoy and laugh at than dealing w an actual douche#i'd do it with my ex-bestfriend all the time- I made snake such a dick because we'd laugh about it together and bc we wanted to make#fun of the dicks around us who lacked any self awareness and if not that any actual fuck about how lame and shitty they come off#what can I say. it's fun to mock people sometimes.#when I actually started to accept it my first pic I drew of him being obviously trans was in 2016... soo a couple months before I remet#my abuser...#which honestly explains why that whole relationship was so rough on me. I had just finally accepted myself and then this person comes#along and tries to smear me and gaslight me into thinking im Horrible for who I am. like. hello???????#my first time fully being myself was with them and their friend group and they all accepted me until their cult leader told them not to
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pre-artfight preparing always makes me feel so. nostalgic? a bit bittersweet? god it always makes me feel so rambly
#i waaaant to talk to someone about it but its like 5aaaam so everyone is asleeeeep#dont mind me btw im just . auaug hohghoooh uuuhuhugg auauahha ykno?#gonna get a few thoughts out here feel free to read or not idunno. its about my art and ocs ->#this isnt even quite just artfight but sometimes im workin on drawin somethin for a character and im just looking at all their old art and#seeing how far both the character and art has come has always been so neat to me ykno?#and artfight letting me put my characters out there just a little bit more is so nice... the fact that someone drew lumie a little bit afte#i made her and made her look SO SO SO pretty when she was barely a character at the time... it made me want to draw her myself so much more#its still one of my favorite pieces of 'fanart' ive gotten even if it is quite offmodel by now lol#and seeing people show love to characters i never would have thought wouldve gotten art? hell yeah man!#thinking about how so many of my early characters were based off of songs which may not even fit them nowadays... how some of them have#actual bodies now (some of them still dont... sorry guys lmao)#and even how i came to start Actually Drawing and making characters. idunno man i like talking about how far ive come in such a short time#i only started really drawing in like. early 2021!! its only been about 3 years... the whiteboard that spawned my first characters i kept a#ocs was in feb of 2021... insanity....#anyways. there was probably more but i got distracted while writing this soooo im gonna j#jem.txt
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