#but somehow i have a feeling thats not the case
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What do you think suklha and Wukong kid would look like if they did have one ? 🤔 …..Celestial realm one fear after hearing those two are courting each other 👀
Theres 2 reasons, i believe they would have a child.
1. Yandere! Wukong AU.
2. It was an accident. A GENUINE accident
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CW : mentions of abortion, body dysphoria, weird descriptions of pregnancy, Im trying to write it as how Suklha would view it as so it might be uncomfortable, Pregnant Monkey Suklha Doodles?
Lets say its the Latter, should Suklha accidentally drank the water of fertility and somehow had sex with Wukong. She will try to abort the child, out of respect for their life, not out of disgust. Its a child thats created by a creature from within and outside of this universe, to bear one means to conceive a natural disaster. A sort of Red boy and his samadhi fire. But this time, it can sever through time and erase everything from History, a true personification of the end of death and end of life.
Even as Wukong tried to fight the logical side of Suklha, she would insist on not keeping the child. Preferring to care for the mountain cubs than creating such a trigger. "out of the safety for this wretched world" she would claim, but also a part of her is afraid of what outcome, what probability should come once she does give birth.
It is definitely something the Celestials wouldn't want happening. They'll stop at nothing to try and destroy a pregnant Suklha, in which case is also in monkey form. To ensure the child won't be an amalgamation of anthropod and mammal, a combination of two completely different animal kingdoms that shouldn't exist.
Throughout the pregnancy, Suklha would try to lay low with the cubs following her around, and a couple of Wukong's clones being at her beck and call. One would walk beside her, and the other stayed hidden, out of plain sight. Should Wukong have other businesses to attend to. Wearing long and loose garments to walk around the estate, Suklha tries to hide the wretching feeling of carrying something inside of her. She's already dealt with her identity crisis, and now the thought of something living and itching inside is giving her nausea at every second. The pregnancy won't last much, as the combination of her pure Centipede features and current Monkey form will take around 4-6 months.
Should the child come, it would be the day all hell broke loose. With the underworld using its knowledge on destroying Suklha's vessel, to the Celestials who would try and take the child away, only to keep it in a capsule buried deep within the earth's core. As they have planned, use anything in their arsenal to destroy whatever hope the Monkey king and the messenger have. In this time, Suklha checked the probability and successfully ran to one of the dragons that she kept in touch with. A plan that the celestials wouldn't figure out, to be an opposite of how you usually am. A dragon of the South, A Lady of the red who runs a small village as their protector.
Suklha would soon give birth in the village, particularly in one of the Lady Dragon's estate. While Wukong would try to fight off the several armies, theres a few fake clones of Suklha around Flower Fruit mountain hiding to act as a decoy. The laboring process is enough to shake the heavens. there's a slight tear in the fabric of the universe at each scream, small cracks forming around Suklha as she continues to push out the child inside of her.
I haven't thought much about the child, i think she'll be someone who is spiteful and energetic (as she should, her parents basically are. It should be a genetic trait atp) but still friendly and cheerful, a glance of her attitude, and you'd never expect she'll scream and curse like a sailor with a cheeky face.
Connsidering both of her own parents are revered gods and beings, she would be bold enough to not get intimidated by mere threats. Prone to lashing out violently, should things "isn't logical at all!!"Despite her bold and strong-willed attitude, she's smart enough to understand the things her mom would give. A small advice and she'll see it how her mom would do it.
A contradiction is what she is. Appear cold and withdrawn when you see her around, yet quickly changes once she warms up to you. Showing a more childlike and jovial side. Someone who shines like the sun under daylight, a being unlike any other beneath the moonlight.
A child who has both the ability of Sun Wukong and Suklha, a mix of Trickery and Knowledge. A child of Sorcery, eager to spread knowledge through the world, she is the reason why humanity is hell bent on discovery the maddness within the void. The truth behind the lies, since her birth humanity has been deriven to madness and delusions far more often than it should.
#¿ — ask#🦭—oc#🎨—galleria#✍️—doodles#suklha#original character#oc#sun wukong x oc#jttw oc#original work#black myth wukong oc#black myth : wukong#black myth wukong#black myth sun wukong x oc#jttw sun wukong#sun wukong#jttw wukong#jttw#jttw wukong x oc#journey to the west
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Is anyone else experiencing mobile ads that are unmuted & start playing audio as soon as they come on your feed?
I keep hitting the mute button, but each ad I get still shows as unmuted & starts playing whatever music/audio it has in it. I'm almost positive I remember being able to mute one ad, then all other ads that pop up on my feed were muted, too. That no longer seems to be the case.
I wonder if this is a glitch or intentional. Somehow I have the feeling it's the latter, and if that's the case, that's scummy.
I'm less concerned about the minor inconvenience of having to lower/raise my volume whenever I want to watch a video then reminding myself to lower my volume again so I don't get jump scared by an ad later, & more concerned that it is an ad that is automatically unmuted & starts playing whenever it shows up on my feed.
I should have the option to keep my Tumblr browsing experience silent without having to lower my phone's volume all the way down. If I want to hear something play on my feed, I should have to unmute it myself vs. having it be unmuted for me unexpectedly.
Come to think of it, I feel like since I've started experiencing this issue, I've noticed more ads on my feed. Maybe I'm noticing them more bc now they have audio and catch my attention more often, or it could also be that they've just added more ads recently in addition to making all ads play sound whether you muted the previous ad or not.
#my text#tumblr ads#fingers crossed this is a glitch#and that they patch it in a new update#but somehow i have a feeling thats not the case#and if they dont fix this#ill either have to browse tumblr via my phone's mobile browser (which is so ass)#or on my desktop exclusively#bc i have ad block on both of those#either option would cut down my tumblr usage by like 99%#bc i only use tumblr on my pc whenever a post has info i want to take notes on or do research on#or if a post has a bunch of links in it that i feel would be better viewed on a pc#both those scenarios are rare#i sincerely hope they fix this or roll it back or whatever#intrusive ads suck sm#i shouldnt have to worry about being jumpscared by an ad on a playform that has mixed content#id be more prepared if it was YouTube or insta where most if not all the content on those sites are videos#but tumblr truly is a mixed bag of content#even so i think users should have a right to choose whether they want ads to play audio or not#i get that it's a marketing tactic but there has to be SOMEONE in the marketing dept of these places that says#''hey maybe playing an ad automatically would annoy our target audience and make them adverse to buying our products''#i cant see these types of ads having any other effect on tumblr users
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[He's getting a happy meal for Grimsy :) ]
#sort of rushed this. so it's pretty muddy looking. but thats about as good as its getting rn lol#i feel like they'd somehow be simultaneously a lot of fast food places top customers and also the most banned#they have to check each time before they stop somewhere just in case they're banned in this sector of space#transformers#transformers idw#crankcase#misfire#idw scavengers#mtmte#maccadam#my art#not feeling great about the background. but i'm on a time limit rn. so.... eh. its ok#just don't look at it too hard pls lmao#just look at crankcase's lovely rbf and misfire's back. i spent so much time on his back ;-;#the angles are still pretty wonky. but yet again. eh. it is what it is lol#perfectionism cant always win#love these goobers tho. i feel like misfire would be the worst passenger. there's a reason he sits in the back i think#anyways. gotta go start packing. got a long holiday trip coming up. yippee#3 days on the road driving cross country. whoooo. i love going back home to texas. yay... >:[#at least my dear darling grandmother swears we're all about to be raptured soon. so. that's fun. cant wait for that to happen during dinner#ok. well. i need to stop complaining and start planning. so. toodles <3
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Dawntrail has been putting a lot effort into upskirting and focusing on Ieeha's legs in almost every single cutscene and to say that that has been distracting is an understatement—
Bonus:
#THE CAMERA TILT KILLED ME#i feel like ive talked more about the angle shocks in cutscenes more than the actual story on discord with others#i mean ive talked about story too but listen.#i wanna make it very clear also that i have NOT modded anything in these screens#and therefore if you notice the pussy shadows thats visible in certain angle and shows up in some of these screens#i did not put them there. this is the literal vanilla look for that gear. built in.#i aint complaining though i love not having to mod the IC things—#what do i even tag this as#feels wrong somehow to use the general tags LMAO#ieeha de verral#ieeha#my screenshot#nabaath-areng#dawntrail spoilers#dt spoilers#ffxiv spoilers#7.0 spoilers#just in case#and also these are just the ones i got on my desktop#whats worse is that i have so many more but i HAD to choose a select few#got so much more from when i played on my laptop-
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reading a single tf comedy fic will confront u with the authors viewpoints on: heads of military, heads of state, stance on revolutionary politics, reporters, freedom of the press, cops, class stigmatized labour, civilian liberties, criminalized... miscreantism? blows big breath kicks can down the road... minorities?
#some shit#its not called cisformers#there indeed could be a use case where i said all this and was saying it in a positive tone.#reader: i am not#i gotta stop opening links from tumblr the reccs just arent worth it#groans. why are you guys so fucking authoritarian. dont u wanna watch animated or smth with me. cant we have fun.#honestly the amount of times i see like. evil/nuisance reporters is bizarre. like oh well sure I KNOW corporate news media just washes the#hands of the state. but.... somehow i feel thats not your angle. given. who the mains always are#also: every time im forced to defend an iteration that actually isnt that good but at least has concepts more interesting and thought out#than ave. fandom. fan fic of other fanfic. world states. sighhhhhh#its a lot of bitching i know i know listen. only cause im out here on my lonesome on this beautiful thrusday morning alright. its fine.#theres are the facts of the. online space i choose to spend time in.... :/ god help me
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any hopes for kiwami 3? like things u wanna see added or changed stuff like that
if they dont keep kiryu's goofy walk stance and the hoof-like walk sounds i dont wanna play it
#snap chats#no one understands how much i love that from y3 and y4 its genuinely one of my favorite things about the game#oh but i guess i have to give an actual answer now. HMPH.#id scream if they revived kanda calling mine limp wristed. homophobia in 4k#OK BUT TO BE SERIOUS uhhhh i dont know. im a real simple guy i think#my only like. If This Isnt There Im Leaving deal is mine's palette and im so serious#rgg's scaring me with all the black-hair/purple-suit mine stuff as of late and i cant stress how hard ill vomit if thats in the final#HYPOTHETICAL final anyways. yk3 isnt coming out for. IDK A WHILE#i wanna say i hope they highlight daigo and mine's relationship more but i dont know how theyd do that#i really like how mine's handled in y3 as is so i dont think i want scenes injected like what they did with yk1 and nishiki#someone said a Mine Saga after the game and... hm ... sounds too unrealistic for me to hope for it#like im REALLY trying to think how they could possibly reference the rggo stories in y3 since those are EXCELLENT but#i think . MAYBE. you could reference the story where richardson calls mine as he's driving to the hospital#the only thing you'd have to exclude though is mine stopping by the bar- like JUST keep the phone conversation maybe#cause in that scene that subordinate does question mine if he can really kill daigo and i think thatd be neat. in my opinion.#yeah i dont know. in regards to rggo its hard to think of what i want without intervening things i already like about y3#its a real head scratcher ...#a really good epilogue addition would be adapting that RGGO bit where daigo ruminates on mine. that's a fair ending for him i think#it also fulfills the need to see how daigo saw mine even if its just a little#and to non-rggo readers it could start to answer 'how does daigo feel about everything that happened'#im still so curious as to if daigo was briefed on EVERYTHING that happened but .... anyways....#sorry all my hopes for y3 are just mine/minedai centric fLVKELKA BUT LIKE. i really am content with everything else with y3 surprisingly#idk. i want kiryu fucking up that curry in high definition tho. thats important to me#THEY HAVE TO KEEP THE QTES DURING THE RICHARDSON FIGHT ILL BE PISSED#i need the fight to be AS CAMPY and unnecessary as it was in the og. INCLUDING richardson's voice acting i need it wack as hell#is it weird i actually appreciate the Diet Building Loredumping being like. in replayable-cutscene form#i thought id prefer just One Long cutscene but im glad theres the option to skip those segments#BUT being able to get a refresher in case you missed something somehow#im running out of tags jesus christ i shouldve put this in the main text but vjALjlagj those are all my thoughts for now bYE
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sometimes i cant help but think about the enemy pokemon u find in mystery dungeons and the in-universe reasons for why theyre Like That. like. i know we have a bunch of examples in each game for pokemon that attack u for various reasons (misunderstandings, guarding something, gone berserk from outside influence, just an asshole, etc) but whats going on with the hundreds of mons that spawn INSIDE the mystery dungeons. like those things are already weird even though theyre well known by most residents and they appear pretty much anywhere but theres tons of pokemon that straight up live in those places. and while some have good reason to wander and attack intruders there, some are just. why. why are there Enemy Pokemon in a Mystery Dungeon next to a School. who are you people.
#and like . ok pmd1 mons are influenced by the natural disasters pmd2 are influenced by time pmd3 by despair and pmd4 by. despair again ?#but theyre still like. sentient. right.#also the fact that there are canonically criminals in the pmd world but wheres the line between that and residents of a mystery dungeon#closest thing i can think of that vaguely answers any of this is the spiritomb from the dark future but even thats an extreme AND rare case#it feels like a weird cross between animals just being animals in nature and then. society and everything that comes w that#why are there even cops in pmd anyway..#more importantly why is there a mystery dungeon next to the school. was it already there when they built the school#or did they somehow generate one???????? theres no way right#why did they think that was a good idea. mystery dungeons are famously dangerous and these mons are like yknow whatd be great#what if we took a bunch of 10 year olds (maximum.) and let them explore one of the most dangerous things known to monkind#yeah thatll be a nice fun learning experience .#< psmd is so goddamn weird (i love it tho i swear)#i would love to know what mystery dungeons would be like without all the game mechanics.....#some of them wouldnt have floors necessarily like the forests n stuff but some would.. the ever-changing layout still applies tho..#would traps be a thing. or random items just laying around#would kecleon shops even exist inside dungeons realistically. i feel like thatd be awful for business#no no going back to the fuckin school thing. theres literal groups OFFICIAL groups of pokemon made specifically to traverse the dungeons#like most pokemon dont casually wander around those things unless they live there. so why on earth is there one for the SCHOOL#pmd
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I get why people like the whole queer existence is resistance thing. I don't personally, because I think it puts a tonne of intracommunity pressure to exist in the 'right' way, I.e. the way that is 'radical' to the person currently scrutinising you. As a person with OCD that manifests in self scrutiny that I have to constantly concentrate on to avoid it becoming self hatred, I'm never going to be a fan of that. I kind of feel this way about any kind of assimilation conversation with regards to queerness really. I think it's an important conversation within irl communities who already care for each other- who shows up for others outside of their own interests and who doesn't, etc. But the internet makes things so impersonal and cold. It encourages people to make very serious snap judgements about others who they don't even know, and to encourage others to believe that about them. None of these people are in community together in any meaningful sense, or they wouldn't treat each other so ungenerously.
Anyway I had a bit of a realisation earlier- I think we have to tell ourselves our existence is inherently radical all the time because we're always getting the subtle message from our community and the wider activism community that having a good time or enjoying yourself is somehow bad, or insulting to people in dire straits. But instead of challenging that idea we say no it's OK because I'm doing activism simply by being here. I think it's fine to feel that way and in many ways existing as a marginalised person really is radical. I just want to make sure we aren't internalising the idea that we can't ever be happy or having a fun frivolous time without justifying it, and passing that idea along to others without meaning to.
#as radio 1 used to say: you only get one life- love it#i try and tell myself that when i get bogged down in the 'my misery is activism somehow' thinking#that so many people on here reinforce#i feel the 'pride is a protest' conversation constantly turns into this#because while pride's origin is in protest on the anniversary of the stonewall riot#most prides now are parties with a march and some information stalls#and...that's fine! If people have fun at it!#not everyone finds pride fun obvs its usually boiling very overwhelming and loud#ive had some shit times at pride but had a blast at my last one#it was post coming out as trans and I'd just started drinking more regularly#after abstaining for my meds for so long#i went alone had some drinks and a dance and went home#loved it best day ever#anyway the idea that in order to do activism you have to constantly disrupt#bring your 'queer liberation not rainbow capitalism' sign#i dunno...i dont think anyone really likes rainbow capitalism but the sponsers keep entry free#thats the case at my main one anyway#i struggle because i only just started having fun a bit more and enjoying things#i hate being hit with the message of 'actually this fun time is wrong '#even in the most subtle ways- but maybe im oversensitive#i will say that if misery is activism ive more than paid my dues#why do they think people wanted to get into stonewall inn anyway???#eta- i know not all prides are free and the ones that aren't still have corporate sponsors#i just don't feel it ruins pride personally#it's mildly annoying and that's all#eta: i put activism instead of capitalism in the slogan in the tags for some reason
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Ok
#kinda vent post cause ive been anxious ever since we got coffee this evening#I promise I'm not trying to be weird or anything. I'm just#I just really don't want to screw this up. I know we spent almost the last year avoiding each other#And I know things between us were rocky for a bit before that#and I hope I'm not overwhelming you. I know things won't be better overnight#I know we've distanced so much and theres so much awkward history there. I know things are different now#And I respect that. I respect your relationship and your new life. I'm not trying to impose or make you uncomfortable#I'm just anxious and tbh scared an nervous too. I don't want to fuck this up. If theres a chance for us to be close friends again I want it#Im so so so scared of fucking it up. I feel like I forgot how to be friends & after the way I left things Im scared that I lost my chance#I'm scared that it's not gonna work and that a permanent goodbye is in our future. I'm scared that you won't want me around after all#I would understand if that became the case.. but I really don't want that#I cant text you this without seeming like an overbearing clingy anxious mess of an ex but ive been on the verge of a panic attack all night#just for the fear that I'm fucking up already somehow. Just the fear that this isn't going to work and I shouldn't even try#I think I spent so long avoiding you that now I don't know what to do with myself. But I'm trying to be normal#I promise I dont have any motives other than missing a really great friendship and being tired of missing friends#And maybe I still have a ways to go in the emotional healing department but I think I'm ok enough to try. I've been ok for a while now#If you see this please know that I mean every word. If you never see it thats ok because I just need to get it off my chest before I burst#I don't want to scare you off or lose you again. if thats what it comes to then know I'll always miss and appreciate you for all my days#Thats all. Ive been a ball of nerves all evening & I just needed to air this out cause having this weight sitting on my chest is too much#emma rambles#personal#vent post
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~* Late Happy Holidays and early Happy New Year! :D *~
Y'know, last year when I complained about not getting to animate I really didn't think I would end up with A Full-On Animation Assignment, even two if you count my current project!
Also two more zines this year, including first merch ever! :DD I really enjoy these and hope I'll get to contribute to more next year! :P
Thank you everyone for sticking around! I wont be super active for the next 2-3 months, finishing school and all~ But when that's over we'll definitely celebrate with a round of requests or whatever fun thing I can do for y'all ;P Until then, see you in messy sketchdumps~
[I edited last year's template, which doesn't seem to be available anymore ;-;]
[2023]
[2021] [2020] [2019] [2018] [2017] [2016]
#art summary#year of art#art summary 2022#my art#there are things in here that i havent posted on tumblr - fishcowboy comics i made for class and calamity box gift for a friend#i will dig these up and post them sometime since those are the two things im the most proud of - next to zine pieces ;P#AND MY SKETCHBOOK - i totally forgot!! This is the year when I finally realised how to run my sketchbook in a way thats fun for me!!#and got a surprisingly popular yt video out of that xD#i feel like my inability to render pieces is starting to weight me down so that's something I definitely need to practice next year#also now that i got to animate for school im slowly coming around to the realisation i dooont think it's for me after all...#or im just tired and disappointed with the Final Project so far or both~#doesnt matter - i have to finish this one and then I'll have few months to chill before I need to get back into the machine xD#idk what fun things i can offer to y'all other than art requests but we will definitely celebrate somehow :v#unless i dont finish this school in which case we will celebrate me not having to move out for another year :v
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my emotions are all over the place
#wind howls#i feel like i am in a state of a mild anxiety attack.#perhaps i am anxious. huh.#atsv left me feeling weird which isnt a bad thing and i know that Specifically will pass. it happened with totk as well#but the travel to the movie and back were not great#so now im not feeling great. my body hurts and i feel vaguely sick.#i think a big part of it is me just. ranting to my boyfriend abt those events and my sibling listening in on me and texting me abt it#i think. that really really bothered me. my own privacy is very important to me. and i hate when it feels like thats taken from me#next time ill just text from the get go i guess. but also im just upset still.#i dont know how my sibling expects me to take their side in an 'argument' when the other side is my 11 year old baby sister.#and its not even an argument. its my baby sister just being a child and my sibling taking offense to her being a kid.#and like. its not even a case of me liking one of my siblings more than another. this is a case of 'youre being needlesly cruel to a kid.'#and somehow they havent realized by now that a kids wellbeing will always be more important to me than literally anything else.#especially when the kid is my own baby sister.#i dont like getting into arguments with my sibling because theyre strong and confrontational but also theyre just 18. almost 19.#theyre an adult ! but they still have all their teenage immaturity and fragility.#which obviously they refuse to acknowledge. because of the aforementioned immaturity and fragility.#genuinely if i had to pick anyone in my family that should talk to a therapist first. it would easily be my sibling.#i hope they get better soon for their own sake because i love them but my patience is running thin.
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I miss my loves every waking moment. every inch of my body screams for their touch. tonight especially that screaming becomes unbearable
#ot3: ❤rhyme💛easy💙#tape entry circa 1980#its like my mind feels fuzzy#maybe theyre also thinking of me and missing me rn...#they must be#ik they miss me a lot... i just wish i could see or hear from them again#its always comforting when i somehow can get a message from them even when its rare#id really like to hear from min...#god... i love and miss them sm...#i hate how just thinking abt it makes me want to cry#i should go to bed#hopefully ill have good dreams... maybe even dream of being w them both#if im lucky#sorry for being dramatic but i just miss them a lot... i mean thats always the case but it gets to me#i just want to see their smiles... hold their hands in mine#make them laugh... wrap my arms around them and breathe in their scent...#just being able to feel them here w me... itd mean everything to me
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I just got off work and opened my notifs-
I'M SCREAMING ONE OF MY FAVORITE TUMBLR WRITERS JUST FOLLOWED?????? THIS PUNY SHITTY NO BRAINER ACCOUNT???? I WANNA DIE DISIDIEJSISIS I CAN DIE IN PEACE HELP IM BLUSHING SO HARD RN 😭😭😭😭😭
#i physically cannot#get myself#to tag or even mention#BECAUSE IM SO SHY#honesty i have a suspicion that#maybe a finger glides accidentally#to the follow button while scrolling through their dash#and thats why im here rn blushing and kicking my feet in the air like a fool#AND IF THATS THE CASE#IM STILL PROUD BECAUSE I GUESS MY PROFILE/POSTS SHOWS SOMEWHERE ON TUMBLR#BUT LIKE EEEEEP IM SCREAMING INTERNALLY#lou rambles#help please#IF YOU'RE SEEING THIS#I wanna say sorry#but also#THANK YOU AND ILY#and very very sorry because i never got the courage to reblog your posts#or send you asks#BECAUSE IDK LIKE SOMEHOW I DONT FEEL LIKE I DESERVE TO DO THOSE THINGS#and that's obviously like stupid#because reblogs and asks are what keeps me alive in this platform#and so i probably shouldve done all that#BUT IDK FORGIVE MY WAY OF THINKING PLEASE#I really really really love your contents and writings and honestly-#when i get the notif that you posted chapter 3 of sweet calamity#i just woke up#and i stopped myself from reading#just so i can trully immerse myself in the experience#I PROMISE ILL REBLOG THIS TIME
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I feel like the idea of "forgiveness" for people who've hurt you is like... Pretty christian based? Bc ngl. Why tf am i forgiving someone who abused me a lot. If we're talking "mental peace"... Well bud i kinda just gotta not think about it or when i do to work on my emotions around it so i can cope better with my trauma. Literally why am i forgiving people who dont regret hurting me and who would never apologize and how exactly does that bring more "peace"? Bc personally id feel like im ignoring something that bothers me a lot just so i can tolerate being around it when idk. Theres people who i definitely dont need to tolerate being around lol.
#forgiveness#quote unquote#some of these people would actively continue trying to hurt me if i was still around them and literally wtf is the use#of forgiveness then???#being unfazed by their presence seems to be the better alternative as well as ignoring them..?#or idk. literally fucking leaving the room if they arrive.#'forgiveness' is what christians do towards non christians who fail to fail to be christians. its patronizing. its assumptive.#as if those people are somehow spiritually crying out that theyre sorry. thats how christians are w forgiveness.#how tf is what id be doing if i 'forgive' my abusers any different#its 'forgiveness' with the assumption that some day the person whos hurting you or in this case simply not christian will actually#decide you were right and 'apologize' for going against them#idk about you but i dont want to live in a false reality daydream that my abuser will someday be normal and nice and empathetic#how is that a useful belief at all in the long run. im just convincing myself somethings gonna happen that wont.#i think more ppl should go about the world assuming their abuser doesnt give a fuck and never will bc quite honestly that seems more likely#ive never felt peaceful when i attmept to forgive people knowing inside im still upset with them#however i feel much more peaceful when i embrace the fact they dont care and thus i dont have to care about them either 🤷#like accepting the current facts brings me more relief than speculating on the future.#idk but i kinda refuse to forgive people who dont regret their actions towards me and who dont give af about me#if getting caught up in resentment is the issue... then you need some therapy of sorts to work on the resentment so you can get to a point#where you dont give a fuck if they do apologize. not assume someday like a pretentious asshole that theyll apologize#literally im nowhere near that important to my abusers for them to do that
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Feeling very Cain from Wolves Den coded right now. Gonna be designing an outfit for him to use for the drawing and so off to firefox I go to search up: "are leather jackets good for hunting" answer is No, so I went to search something else again: "what jacket is good for hunting with a license" (i added the with a license as an afterthought cuz i feel like google wont understand me if i just put hunting on that). Which finally led me to: "shooting jacket mens"
#aria rants#now i have an idea of what to give cain as an outfit. tho i am still thinkin of leather jacket as part of a casual wear thing#i feel like hes a leather jacket type of guy. he gives me those vibes and tbf leather jackets Are pretty stylish!#i like how the shooting jackets look too it seems very comfy which tbf! ya need a considerable amount of arm space after all#that got me thinkin more about the elias drawing hmmmm... i might have to add a certain detail on that#i was thinkin like: they were on a free day where elias is comfy enough to leave its mask at home#but what if on that particular day. the two was supposed to go some place else? thats why cain has his shooting jacket on-- oh but hmmm#i was thinkin like if it was them going smwhr cain would need his equipment and like-- do i wanna draw that?#i can give him One (1) gun. hunting rifle in its case sling on his back then. as a treat. cuz i love him.#gotta return elias' mask tho. but like-- lowered on his chin in that drawing i made cuz that haunting smile#with blood seeping out from the corner of its mouth is important for the scene even more so painful somehow#cuz that means he pulled the mask down itself like ooooo thats some pain right there#i... accidentally rambled a lot on the tags whoops-- did not mean to do that now this post has long tags
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I once had an anon tell me that I have tons of notes and needed to stop rbing my own stuff. Meanwhile this is what my notes look like (my current moodboard)
People will tell you "selfshipping isn't a competition" and "you should make art for yourself" when you feel unheard, and that is true to an extent, but no one can deny how alienating it feels to have so little interaction on art, something you poured so much effort into. It's valid to feel hurt. It may be controversial, and I don't even mean to point fingers. But bottom line, it's valid to feel sad when this kind of thing leaves you feeling alone! We're social creatures after all. Like why else would we even post our art if not for people to see it? If it was all for ourselves then we wouldn't be on SOCIAL media. It's okay to be sad about this and to want things to be different is what I'm saying. You deserve to be talked to and your art deserves to be seen. You should make what you like and you should feel confident in what you put out, but being all alone in it isn't to be sought after wither. It's okay to feel sad.
#like yes I do want people to see it and engage with it. Yes I made it for me but it kinda sucks when everyone else gets tons of support in a#matter of seconds I'm rbing my own post every 3 hours to crickets lmao#I do have a lot of stuff that's just for me that I don't post at all and that's fine! people use not a competition as a balm but#unfortunately a lot of this so called community sees it as one. not everyone but I've seen my fair share. just sucks?#I get people get busy and cant see stuff hell im like that too hence why i make a queue for every 3 hours so it can't be missed and yet#somehow it always is? unless i tag people then idk maybe they feel obligated to interact with it?#not saying thats fact or the case just sometimes feels that way?
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