#but so many chapters just had her fucking off to presumably hang out with the psych and kid. which was -_-

[pasdetrois]

can i say something controversial... nina should have been the protagonist of monster

[hellfirexhoe]

Death of Me - Chapter 10: Old Wives Tales

Chapter 10 | Series Masterlist

4.8k words

Warnings: 18+ content, minors DNI, pregnancy, angst, slight wound detail (v brief), smut.

Summary: Everyone's got their guesses and theories on Baby Munson's gender...

Eddie sits beside you, fiddling with his rings as your parents stare at him in stunned silence. When you’d first tried to explain to them that Eddie was in fact alive they had rung your family doctor, convinced you were experiencing some kind of grief fuelled psychosis. You had held firm, determined to convince them that you were not losing your mind. In the end, this was always going to be the only way they could believe you.

The silence hangs in the air, broken only by the sound of the clock on the mantle ticking away the seconds, until you can take it no longer,

“Can someone please say something?” You huff out, “We’re not sitting here all day like this.”

“How did this, how did he, how?” Your father struggles to find the words, gesturing with his hands as though he could grab the words with his hands, resentment at how your father speaks as though Eddie is not beside you prickles up your spine and you lean forward, ready to start a fight, until Eddie squeezes your arm, reminding you that you had promised to keep this meeting as calm as possible, mostly for the sake of “the little bean” - you had no idea where that nickname had come from but it made you smile once he’d let it slip. 

You and Eddie had sat in your car outside Steve’s house discussing how you were going to explain this miraculous resurrection, the truth seemed less believable than the lie the two of you had concocted over the course of an hour. In fairness, the lie was peppered with the truth. Eddie had witnessed Chrissy die, he had gone into hiding because he was scared. It’s just you stick with the police’s story that an escaped Victor Creel had committed the murders, you leave out the Upside Down, explaining Eddie’s injuries with the story that he’d been trapped in a building, surviving by sheltering in a cellar until he was found, gravely injured but miraculously alive.

“So every time you’ve been at Steve’s or saying you were sleeping at a girlfriend’s you were with Eddie?” Your mother speaks while your father is silently computing the details you divulged.

“I mean sure if that’s the detail you want to hone in on.” You’re a little taken aback by this being your mother’s focus,

“Don’t take that tone with us, you’ve been lying to us for how many weeks now?” 

“I lied because you wouldn’t have believed the truth!”

“That’s still not a good reason to lie to us!”

“Stop caterwauling. Both of you.” Your father raises his voice, “Quite frankly, I don’t care that you lied to us, or for what reason.” He directs his gaze to Eddie who visibly wilts under the sudden scrutiny,

“You. Anything to say for yourself? You’re going to be a father to my grandchild and so far I’m not seeing any behaviour that would make me trust that you won’t leave the second the going gets tough.”

“Dad! What the fuck?” You’re on your feet before Eddie can catch your arm this time, 

“No. Let him answer.” 

Eddie pulls you back into sitting, “Relax.” He turns his attention back to your father, “I don’t know any other way to convince you that I’m all in than by showing you.”

“Well you could marry her for a start.” Both you and your mother have the same reaction, jaw dropping in stunned silence, what the fuck written all over your face. This is not something you’d ever discussed with Eddie, nor presumed that he’d be interested in pursuing, nor ever dreamed of your father being the one to broach the topic. You had assumed that marriage to Eddie was nothing more meaningful than a piece of paper. Maybe that’s why Eddie’s response catches you so off guard,

“I mean… That was part of the plan, eventually.” He says it so casually, as if your father had asked him whether he prefers skim or full fat milk. Oblivious to you staring at him like he’s grown another head. Despite the casual tone of his voice you notice the small tremor in his hand, his anxiety finding a way to manifest physically so you slip your hand in his and give it a small squeeze, hoping to reassure him.

“Why the wait?” Your father presses on despite your mother’s hand coming over his shoulder and squeezing, silently willing him to end this discussion, table it for another occasion because it is clear that you and Eddie have never discussed this and you’re becoming rapidly uncomfortable.

“Because I presumed she wouldn’t want a shotgun wedding. And I have to work up the nerve to actually ask her.” Eddie adds the last part with a quiet laugh.

“Okay then! Well, if we’re done making ourselves uncomfortable shall we call it a day there? We’ve got our appointment soon.” Eddie relaxes slightly at your reminder, grateful you’d thought to schedule something that would limit the time he’d have to spend being interrogated by your parents. 

“Thank you for saying that.” You finally speak to him once you’re back in your car, alone together, Eddie’s gaze doesn’t leave the window as he speaks,

“Saying what?” Genuinely clueless as to what you’re talking about.

“That stuff to my dad… I know marriage isn’t really something that you’re a big believer in, and we don’t have to… you know.” You stumble over your words, unsure how to phrase it without making it sound like you were rejecting him.

“You do realise I wasn’t saying that stuff just to appease your dad right?”

“What do you mean?” You fight your instinct to whip your head around and stare at him in shock, settling instead for eyeballing him from the corner of your eye, 

"I mean, you are correct in that I don't buy into that traditional shit, marriage and the house in the suburbs, the two kids and dog life. Like, that just felt like something that wasn't for me so I never let myself want it. But, if the traditional shit is something you want then I'll do my best to give it to you." 

The road gets blurry as tears well up in your eyes so you pull over seconds before the floodgates open, wracking your brain for some kind of smart response but you fail as you start to practically wail,

"Shit. Unless that's not what you want?" Eddie quickly backpedals as his arm comes up to rub your shoulders, "It's okay, you can marry Steve if you want, please don't cry." This breaks up your softening sobs with a small laugh, 

"Please don't cry, I'm really sorry." Eddie looks at you, big brown eyes filled with concern, 

"Not… not sad tears." You take a few steadying breaths, cursing the hormones that make you feel this unhinged, Eddie watches you cautiously, still unsure.

"Not sad tears?" You shake your head as Eddie starts to let the relief wash over him, "Then what kind of tears are these?"

"Hormonal-I-can't-believe-how-much-of-a-sweet-man-my-boyfriend-is tears." You pull your visor down and dab at your face in the mirror, mopping up streaks of makeup.

"I'm sorry, I'll try harder to be a piece of shit so you don't cry."

"That would be nice." You snort as you switch the car back on, "Eddie, I don't want you to feel like we have to get married or anything you don't wholeheartedly want. I just want to be happy." Eddie smiles appreciatively at this,

"Sweetheart I'd gladly drag my balls through lava with a smile on my face if that would make you happy." 

"Okay maybe don't do that, I might want more kids with you one day."

"Oh shit are we going to out-nugget Harrington?" You laugh at the comical expression on Eddie's face as he speaks.

"Okay we're not getting competitive over numbers of kids."

"You're right, I'm already one ahead of him. I would obviously win." 

Eddie had been excited ever since you'd arranged this ultrasound, so had you, even though you had to keep reminding him that the doctor might not be able to see anything just yet. That hadn't stopped him from taking bets from Steve, Robin and Nancy on your child's gender.

Eddie was convinced it was a girl, insisting that she'd be totally gorgeous, just like you. That was it. His entire rationale for this prediction summed up in one sentence.  Robin had agreed with him, reading aloud from an extremely dated book that the way your bump sat clearly indicated it was a girl.

You, Nancy and Steve however suspected the baby was a boy, you'd based it on a feeling you had. A sneaking suspicion that the baby was going to look exactly like Eddie and be a terror, exactly like Eddie. Nancy had based her argument on the fact you were craving salty things, while Steve cited from the same book as Robin that your frequent heartburn was an obvious sign you were expecting a boy.

It's not like you or Eddie were any better with the old wives tales of gender prediction. Last night you had laid on his lap, one of his rings looped through a strand of your hair watching which direction the ring swung over your stomach 

"It's circling! That means girl!" Eddie grinned triumphantly while you watched the ring with narrowed eyes,

"Are you blind? It's clearly swinging back and forth. I'm telling you, there is a mini Eddie in there!"

"And do we want to know the gender if I can find out for you today?" The sonographer asks you both as you get settled on the bed, shifting the elasticated waist of your trousers to sit below your bump. 

"Yes, please." You shiver slightly as the cool gel touches your skin before the probe is placed on. Eddie's hand is in yours as he stares at the small screen before him in awe, taking in all the features of your “little bean”.

"Okay, baby looks great, and if I just turn this on now," a pause as a dial is adjusted, "And that is baby's heartbeat."

This time you don't feel fear at the sound, the best way to describe the feeling is warm fuzzies that grow warmer as you look over at Eddie, slackjawed as he listens to the sound while his eyes grow misty.

The probe glides across your stomach, searching for better angles and unfortunately for you the best view is obtained with an uncomfortable amount of pressure on your full bladder. You force yourself to focus on the screen and ignore the way your body is protesting. 

"Okay so baby has their legs open and if you look right there, you should be able to see that you're having -"

"It's a boy!" You almost yell out, startling Eddie. "I told you!" 

Eddie smiles and kisses your forehead as the technician cleans you up and prints a few of the sonograms.

"You do realise this means you will be living with me and a mini me right?"

"God help me." Eddie laughs and nods,

"Not sure even he could help you."

You leave the doctors office feeling a little smug that you were correct, Eddie is very quiet as you get into the car, clearly lost in some kind of thought, you turn the radio on for the brief drive back to Steve's, letting Eddie think, giving him the space he needs to process his thoughts. Once you're parked up on the driveway you turn to Eddie,

"Hey, are you still with me?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes, sorry." Eddie's head jerks up as he looks at you.

"What's bothering you?" Eddie chews his lip, musing over his words, 

"It's just. I'm a little scared. Scared that he'll be too like me and that I'll be too much like my dad." You soften, pulling Eddie into a hug from your seat,

"Edward Munson, you are going to be a wonderful father to this little boy. You're nothing like your father, but I hope this boy is like his, because his dad is the best." Eddie leans into you, letting his body relax,

"How do you always know the right thing to say? Other than insisting on calling me by that horrendous name." Eddie mumbles against your shoulder,

"Guess I'm just the right girl for you." Eddie nods emphatically,

"Perfect honestly."

"Alright, flatterer. Let's get you in the house. I see Steve's car is missing which means we have the place to ourselves for a little while." 

Eddie grins mischievously.

Eddie had been offered a proper bedroom at Steve's instead of lurking in the basement, but Eddie had insisted it was temporary and he preferred the basement; it felt safe. He had also been told he could take the pull out sofa bed with him when he did leave because of tell tale stains over the cushions.

You hadn't bothered to tidy the pullout back into the sofa this morning, reasoning that you'd probably want to nap in the afternoon and didn't want to go home just to be able to nap, but of course neither you or Eddie would waste Steve being out of the house by napping. 

"Wait, I want to try something." You speak up, and Eddie drops his hands immediately, intrigued.

"I would really like it if you could let me show you how absolutely gorgeous you are." Eddie tilts his head to one side,

"And how would you plan on doing that?" 

"Well… I was thinking we could try taking your shirt off." You toy with the bottom of his shirt as you speak until Eddie's big hands come over yours,

"You sure?" His eyebrows disappear into his fringe, "It's not pretty."

"If you're uncomfortable we can stop." You take a small step back and Eddie shakes his head,

"We can try if you really want, I just don't want you to feel obligated or to take one look and decide I'm…" his voice tails off, the last few words of his sentence lost in soft mumbles,

"Sorry I didn't quite catch that last bit?" You kiss his cheek sweetly, hoping to motivate him to speak.

"I don't want you to be disgusted by me, like that the sight is so horrible it turns you off." You shake your head and gently take the hem of his shirt in your hands, lifting it slowly, exposing Eddie's skin. You keep eye contact with him, reading his body language and face for any sign that he wants you to stop, you receive no such indicator until it comes to pulling the top over his head, Eddie squeezes his eyes shut and turns his head away from you, so you let go of the shirt, quickly replacing it and taking his chin in your hand,

"Hey, hey its okay. We can stop." Eddie's breathing hard, a small shake in his hands,

" 'M sorry I disappointed you."

"Baby, you did not disappoint me at all. We can do this when you're ready, and not a minute sooner. But I promise, if and when you're ready to start taking your shirt off again, that I will worship every inch of you in the way you deserve. And in the meantime…” you let your voice trail off as you pull your own shirt off, pushing your trousers down until you’re standing before him clad in your underwear.

Eddie steels himself a little, guiding you to sit down on the bed and taking a seat beside you,

“Might be easier if I take it off?”

“You really, really don’t have to.”

“I know, but I’d like to try. Maybe, close your eyes?” You nod and shut them, you feel the bed shift and hear the fabric gliding up Eddie’s torso, his breath catching as the t-shirt hits the floor.

“Can I open?” You point to your still shut eyes, Eddie remains silent,

“Oh shit forgot you can’t see me. Um, give me a second, okay?” You laugh softly as you nod, fairly certain you know exactly what just happened and why Eddie didn’t answer,

“Eddie… when I asked you if I could open my eyes, did you shake your head?”

“...No?” There’s a laugh in his voice as he blatantly lies. You feel the bed shift as Eddie stands up and feel his legs brush your knees as he stands in front of you.

“Hands, please.” You hold out your hands to Eddie, keeping your eyes shut as he takes your hands and places them softly on his chest, breath hitching as he guides your hands over his skin, letting you map out the newly formed scars, almost as if he could prepare you for the sight of them, 

“You can open your eyes.” You do so slowly, making sure your line of sight is on his face before you let your eyes wander over his torso. You suspect Eddie thinks it’s worse than it actually is. HIs skin is healthy, healing, you can’t help but admire, seeing how his body has repaired itself so well.

“Huh,” You whisper to yourself, not quietly enough, catching Eddie’s enquiring eyes as you look back up to him, you trace one of the smaller scars on his right side,

“You ever notice how this one looks like a bird?” Eddie glances down, looking to where you’re tracing,

“Oh sweetheart, we gotta get you to a zoo.” You snort and gently slap his thigh,

“No, like the way people draw them when they’re flying!” Eddie looks again, and tilts his head, considering,

“Hmm, I guess I see it? Guess that's the least ugly out of all of these.”

“Eddie. None of these scars are ugly, you wouldn't say my stretch marks are ugly would you?” Eddie looks at you as though you’ve asked him if he would punch you in the face,

“Fuck no! They’re your tiger stripes, they’re cool as hell!” 

“Then don’t call these ugly, they’re proof of how strong you are, how resilient.” Eddie’s face flushes a soft pink, growing darker as you carry on talking, “You are absolutely.” You plant a kiss to the scar on his right hip, “Fucking.” A kiss to his left hip. “Gorgeous.” Another kiss, this time slightly higher, a whine escapes Eddie’s lips before he can stop himself.

“Does my pretty boy like being told just how gorgeous he is?” You ask, a teasing lilt to your voice, keeping your eyes on his face as your hands trail down to his belt.

“Can I get you out of these jeans?” Eddie nods, biting his lip to hold back more whines and whimpers while you continue to kiss over his body, he’s not strong enough to stop his hips from twitching at the contact of your lips however. Nor able to hide the breathy sighs escaping his mouth. You refuse to let him doubt for even a second your attraction to him, kissing at his skin and very gently grazing his non-scarred skin with your teeth, making him shiver. When you shift to slip onto your knees before him Eddie stops you, just for a second, to grab one of the pillows from behind you and place it under your knees with a cheeky wink, to which you respond with an eye roll as you take his thick cock in your hands, already rock hard from all the affection you’d inflicted on him. You start slowly, stroking his full length with a barely there touch,

“My pretty boy has such a pretty cock.” 

“Fuck, baby, please speed up.” Eddie’s cock twitches as you speak, his hips bucking just slightly, his whole body begging you for more. And who are you to deny him? You speed up, loving the way his legs shake slightly as you do so,

“Need to sit down.” Eddie pants out, already so worked up just from your hands idly pumping him

“Poor darling, needing to sit down already and you haven’t even had my mouth yet.” You give Eddie a sad pout as you tighten your grip slightly, running your thumb over the throbbing head of his cock, earning a flurry of expletives from Eddie. You let your grip slacken slightly, slowing down so that you can run your tongue along the underside of Eddie’s cock, a slow trail that has his cock twitching on your tongue until you’re lapping up the precum that has collected at the tip of his cock.

“Taste so good Eddie.” You coo at him as you shift away, “You can sit down, don’t want you collapsing on me when I let you take control.” Eddie splutters slightly as he sits down on the bed, legs either side of your kneeling form on the floor,

“God you look fuckin’ beautiful.” 

“You’re just saying that so I’ll suck your cock.” Eddie shakes his head, smirking,

“No, I’m saying it because I mean it.”

You don’t bother coming up with a retort, you believe him. Instead you take the tip of his cock into your mouth, gradually taking more of him into your mouth until your nose is flush with his pubic bone and he’s a whiny mess above you, ringed fingers tangled in sheets that look ready to tear from his grip as he struggles to keep still, fighting his urges to hold your head and fuck your mouth. You slip back, lips tight until just the tip of his cock remains in your mouth, repeating the motion with increasing speed, taking Eddie into your throat with some difficulty before barely taking the tip.

“Shit, that feels so fucking good! Love the way you take my cock.” Eddie is letting loose a near constant stream of babble, completely lost in his pleasure. Once you find a rhythm and speed that you can maintain without sacrificing your jaw within 3 minutes you can relish in Eddie’s delicious little moans and whimpers, that increase in volume as you gently run a nail down the inside of Eddie’s thigh, making him jerk his hips and slam his cock deeper into your mouth,

“That mouth of yours is just too good, don’t know what I could have ever done to have earned this!” Eddie’s breathing is shaky as he struggles to get the words out, or even find the words, you can feel his cock twitching in your mouth and throat and you know he’s so close. 

Keen to feel Eddie coming undone in your mouth you slip a hand into your underwear, knowing the sight of you playing with yourself with your beautiful lips wrapped around his cock would absolutely send Eddie over the edge. 

And it does, with loud cries and panting as he releases himself into your mouth, 

“Such a fucking - dirty, dirty girl, touching herself - li - like that when I’m -ungh - cumming in her mouth.” Eddie grunts out between thrusting himself deeper into your mouth, like he’s afraid it will leak out. Once he’s recovered, when his whole body stops twitching, he helps you up from your knees, throwing the pillow back onto the bed and sitting you down, dragging your underwear down your legs slowly, admiring the newly exposed skin,

“My turn to worship.” There’s a devious glint in his eye as he shifts your legs onto the bed and settles himself between your thighs, tickling them with his untameable hair,

“This isn’t a return the favour kind of th-ing- oh!” your protest quickly melts away as Eddie glides his tongue over your clit, smirking as your whole body relaxes and gives over to him with that one motion.

You’re not going to give him the satisfaction of rendering you brainless so soon, so as he dives in you continue to praise him and compliment him,

“God, my gorgeous boy has such a talented tongue.” Of course your words are broken apart by quiet moans and gasps as you feel his tongue slipped into your tight entrance, lapping you up like a man dying of thirst, and humming at the taste of you on his tongue as he wraps his lips over your clit, letting his fingers slip inside you to work you over. 

“You’re so fucking perfect Eddie.” You manage to lift your heavy eyelids to look at Eddie, having to prop yourself up on your elbow to do so, enough to just about see his big brown eyes, pupils blown out from lust as he buries his face between your thighs, looking like he’s discovered nirvana between your legs. At your words you feel his cheeks get blazingly hot with his blushes, and he becomes more determined to make you climax over his face, curling his fingers faster against your g-spot, sucking on your clit with such intensity that your hips rut against his face without your control, but its when he starts humming again against your clit that you finally lose all semblance of control within your body, you swear your vision turns white for a second as you orgasm, hands tangling in Eddie’s hair, both wanting him closer and to push him away, loud moans ripping themselves free of your chest. 

When you finally realise Eddie he’s grinning, clearly very satisfied with himself as he comes up, chin covered in your slick and his own drool, pausing to wipe it on his arm before leaning over you to kiss you, a lingering taste of you on his lips and tongue, he shifts slightly and that’s when you feel him poking you,

“You cannot be ready to go again already?”

“What can I say, you’ve awoken something.” Eddie chucks shamelessly as he teases your clit with the tip of his cock, sending goosebumps over your skin with every kiss he leaves over your body,

“Not even going to give me a second to recover?” You pout,

“You want me to stop?” Eddie’s a little incredulous,

“Fuck no.” You giggle as you shift your hips, lining your entrance up with the tip of Eddie’s cock,

“See, that's what I thought.” Comes the cocky reply as Eddie slips himself inside you, letting a throaty moan escape as he feels your tight walls enveloping him, drawing him in deeper,

“Shit. You feel so fucking good, look so fucking good.” You wrap your arms around Eddie’s shoulders, pulling him close, relishing in the heat radiating from his naked chest and the way it seeps from him into you.

Eddie litters your neck with kisses and bites as he pushes himself deeper, until his body is flush against yours, hardly pausing to allow you to adjust before he’s rocking his hips into yours, grinding against your clit with every movement,

“Jesus, Eddie… can’t think straight when you do that!” Your eyes rolling back with his motions, 

“So don’t think, just enjoy.” Eddie purrs back at you, watching your face with an intensity that would make you blush if your eyes were able to focus for long enough to see him. “Want to make sure that I keep my future wife satisfied.” Its a soft whisper, just loud enough for you to hear it.

Your body responds before you can, tightening around him, making him grunt at the increased tightness around his cock,

“Damn, that’s new. I’ll have to remember that.” Eddie pants as he picks up his thrusts, setting an unholy pace that makes your body burn with pleasure, interlocking his fingers with yours, 

“Eddie… ‘m gonna cum.” You’re trembling, right on the precipice. 

“Let go gorgeous, just feel this. I’ve got you.” It’s almost embarrassing how those words are what tips you over the edge, reducing you to a trembling mess as you give into the building pleasure, crying out in ecstasy as he fucks you through your orgasm, relishing in every moan that falls from your lips, every twitch of your body around him, Eddie’s thrusts start to falter and stutter, his lips coming down to yours as he finishes inside you, pushing himself deeper with every twitch inside you. Eddie’s chin drops to his chest, panting hard, trying to catch his breath, still not pulling out from where he’s buried inside you.

“You okay Eddie?” You stroke his sweaty cheek gently, tilting his face up to look at you,

“Hmm. Yeah. Think I saw God for a second there.” Eddie is still breathless but his face breaks into the sweet smile you love.

“Tell him to fuck off. You’re mine.” Eddie laughs as pulls out slowly, smirking a little when you whine in protest at the emptiness.

“I’m all yours.” Eddie lays beside you, pulling you into his arms and holding you tight. “Love you so much.”

“Love you more.” Eddie pretends to gasp and clutches at fake pearls around his neck,

“More?! Shit, that’s a lot.”

“Mhm, I know. We’re getting pretty serious.” You and Eddie both giggle as you hold each other closer, bathing in the afterglow together.

Taglist: @hellomothermoon @tlclick73 @likedovesinthewnd @bebe0701 @wheaty-melon @thegirlwhohides @mxcheese @witchofhawkins @munsonsgirl71 @sammararaven @joejoequinnquinn @hellfire-puppet @micheledawn1975 @averagemisfit03 @edsforehead @thehuntresswolf @a-hopeless-fan @thatsbunnysmind @heyhihellowhatsup0 @iamaslutforcoffee @boomhauer @quinndjarin @tayhar811 @sister-cirice @sidthedollface2 @plutolvr @callmeloverr @manda-panda-monium @alyssaaaaa-r @afs1

[unoriginalmess]

A Second Mask: Chapter 4

Did that just happen?

Hello guys! It's me. I'm finally writing again. Sorry about the delay. I'm going to explain more at the end of the chapter, but I'm just going to keep the beginning short. So here is chapter 4:

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

To say Adrien was concerned would be a huge understatement. He was downright disturbed. Its been weeks and still Marinette hadn't changed back to the happy, peppy, nice girl that he knew. AND SHE WOULDN'T EVEN TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT!

He tried to talk to her for a whole week after her original trasformation, but after the repeated firm rejections, he stopped altogether. He figured that maybe with some space, she might be able to work through whatever she was going through, but at this point, he's losing hope.

When he is feeling this distressed about something, he usually turns to his lady, but she has been acting weird too. Ever since she suggested they start sparring, she's started to show that she is going through kinda a rough time as well. She is the same ladybug when everyone is watching, but when it's just the two of them, she looks sad and tired. She has also started saying some concerning things while they are sparring. She has started talking about how she has started taking being Ladybug and the Guardian more seriously, and how she has less distractions now, which would be a good thing if she didn't say them so sadly.

The good thing is, the sparring has given him a chance to get out his aggression because of the whole Marinette-situation and his anger at his father in a safe environment. He didn't like the idea of hitting Ladybug at first (especially in the face) but with her not holding back on her hits, he felt more comfortable doing the same. It has helped them fight better too. He hopes that whatever Ladybug is going through in her civillian life will work itself out soon, but until then he will be there for her. He just needs to figure out how to be there for Marinette.

•••

Felix was making good progress with Marinette. After they first asked marinette about (insert fashion question of your choice here, I legit know nothing and I didn't have time to research anything for this chapter), she had started answering their questions on a daily basis. After a couple of days of that, she had started to rant to them about different things in the fashion world that were bothering her, exciting her, or confusing her that particular day. In response to that, they had started to respond to her rants with their own opinions on the subjects and even start their own rants.

It had gotten to the point where Felix would now consider them to be friends, though they know that Marinette would never call them as such, it was fine with them. They know she has trust issues, and they can understand why, so they are fine with being friends in everything but a name.

Felix was looking forward to their daily banter as they waited in their seat for Marinette to arrive. When she did, she was followed by a very pissed-looking Alya. Felix turned to look at her and noticed that she had what looked to be tears forming in her eyes. What they didn't notice was the little black butterfly that had entered through the window in the back of the room, and was making a beeline towards her.

•••

Marinette walked to school in yet another one of her newest fashion creations: a pair of oversized grey ripped jeans and a navy blue sweatshirt. She was actually really liking her new look, and the comfort that it offered was just an added plus.

She was actually feeling excited to talk to Felix about Gabriel Agreste's newest fashion flop. They were the only person that she had met that actually cared about fashion as much as her. It made her happy to talk to them. It kind of scared her how excited she was. Shouldn't she be distancing herself from everyone? she thought to herself. No. Felix isn't my friend, they aren't close to me, they are just someone I talk fashion with. Like a coworker, yeah. Totally. Felix is just a coworker. ("Liar" says the inner voice in her head)

She was shocked out of her thoughts when she was pulled to the side by someone as she entered the courtyard. Her mind immediately thought of an akuma, when the person spoke.

"Marinette! Girl," Oh it's just Alya. Wait Alya? "How long are you gonna keep up this cry for attention? Are you really THAT jealous of Lila? I know that Adrien likes her, but that doesn't give you the right to act like this! And you are hanging out with Felix, who accused her of sexually harrassing Adrien on their first day here-?" She looked absolutely furious at her, but Marinette had heard enough. She cut Alya off in the middle of her presumably long rant.

"ALYA!" Said girl jumped at both the inturruption and the tone of voice used, "First of all, this isn't a cry for attention, if anything its a cry for leaving me the fuck alone. Second of all, I'm not jealous of Lila. I'm not in love with Adrien anymore, and haven't been for a while. You knew that I was dating Luka right? Why would I care who Adrien likes? Lastly, I am allowed to hang out with whoever I choose, whether you like them or not. It's none of your fucking business Alya, and if you think that I'm just some jealous, attention-seeker why do you even care?" With that last question she stormed off to the classroom, leaving a speechless Alya behind her.

When marinette sat down in her seat, she just kept thinking about how Alya was just talking to her. How could she think that about her? They used to be best friends, and Alya wasn't even concerned about her not talking to her anymore, she was just concerned about her being "jealous of Lila". It made her so furious that she could feel tears trickling down her face. She sees the black butterfly out of the corner of her eye and without hesitation grabs it out of the air.

(Next part is taken from this post by @bigfatbreak)

"Go ahead and akumatize me- See what happens, Hawkmoth!" She screamed the words with a slight madness that the energy of the akuma was giving her, "Every leash has two ends! I just have to pull until I find where you're holding it!"

At this point, the entire class was frozen in place watching her and listening to her crazed-sounding voice threaten an actual terrorist. Marinette felt Hawkmoth's confusion and terror through the bond. What in the- She's sensing me through the Akuma?! The akuma then started to fly away, and when it couldn't it zapped her hand like it was made of lightning and fluttered through the same window it came from. Marinette felt like she had failed yet again and collapsed down on her desk, muttering, "Uuuuggghh. It escaped anyway... What a waste. I didn't realize that Hawkmoth was such a coward. He usually likes grandstand..."

She was startled when her hand was picked up by Felix's, "You likely scared him off by managing to locate him like that... A risky move, I should mention. I would ask that you not attempt that a second time. No one knows what his akuma is truly capable of. You'll want to keep off of this hand for a while, too."

"Oh, are those the doctor's orders? Why, Felix, it almost sounds like you care about meeee." Marinette was all too amused by Felix's concern for her. She also liked to tease them... AS COWORKERS DO.

"I have an investment in your presence. Now don't be cheeky and let's get you to the nurse's office," They said while holding her wrist and gently pulling her in that direction.

Marinette scoffed, "'An investment in my presence'??"

Felix chuckled while still semi-dragging her by the wrist towards the front of the room, being careful not to hurt her injury even worse, "What did I just say about being cheeky?"

On their way out of the door they passed a VERY distressed-looking Adrien. He seemed to be sharing the sentiment with the entire class of: Did that just happen?

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And thats chapter 4. It is VERY LATE! I know. I've been swamped with work, and when I went to write it, I had zero ideas on how to write this chapter. I never ended up getting those ideas. I just went where my writing took me, so if it doesn't really match the characters that's why. I will try to be better at updating regularly, but it probably won't happen. Sorry to everyone with a normal sleep schedule, but this is the time that I write things. Also I didn't have my outline with me while writing this chapter, so it might not have everything I planned to write in it.

I would like to thank you all for all of the support I've been getting on this fic. Despite all of the chapter delays, you guys have stuck with me through all of it, so thank each and every one of you. I love seeing so many people loving this au as much as I do. Without you guys this story wouldn't exist, and I would've stopped writing it after the first chapter.

As always, constructive criticism is always accepted. I love being able to improve my writing whenever possible.

Thank you for reading. Have a nice day/night/whenever you are reading this. See ya next time guys, gals, and non-binary pals.

Taglist

@queer-illusion @apasponsor @heckinggremlin @1-ahiro-1 @hewantedbeefintheparkinglot @sassakitty @lennauts @rianoel @dorkus-minimus @khneltea @welp-that-was-unexpected @mlnchlymrshmllw @lovelyautumnsunflower @chariphrasis @lovesbooks @komatsuna-yuki @polyvirnl @innocentlyguiltyfrenchfry @qhobias @ive-tumbled-down-a-rabbit-hole @hammalammadamdam @cloudydaysomewhere @alcoholic-barney @basenikon @xxbehindthemaskxx @corporeal-terrestrial @shadowymemoirs @moonlight-densetsuu

[circethesinner]

the puppeteer ✿ mind flayer - chapter 28 ✿

pairing: steve harrington x original female character (can be read as x reader)

warning(s): strong language, descriptions of violence, mature themes 

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Jonathan had wanted to keep an eye on Will, which just meant that he wanted to sit on the floor next to the couch to keep watch in case he woke up. Though the poor kid was out like a light, so it was unlikely. The kids were gathered around the kitchen table discussing Bob Newby, who Bambi didn't really have much interaction with. She didn't really feel like she could contribute to the conversation, so she took the opportunity to join Jonathan on the floor and make amends.

"I'm sorry, too," She told him as she sat down beside him, placing the files down in front of her so the kids couldn't sneak off with them for what would have been the fourth time.

"Huh?" Jonathan looked at her in confusion.

"The party," She elaborated. "Well... The aftermath, I should say."

"I'm really sorry for leaving you there," He sighed. "It was shitty, and I wasn't thinking."

"And I'm sorry I got so upset over it," She told him. "I'm glad you were there for Nance,"

She held her hand out to him. He took it, and they gave one another a quick squeeze before letting go again. Fights between Bambi and Jonathan weren't exactly uncommon. They were like siblings in many senses, and siblings fought. But, they always made up with a squeeze of the hand. Bambi had joked that it was like they were squishing their anger away.

"Did you write that?" Jonathan pointed at the files that Bambi had, after a long internal debate, decided to finish reading.

"No, Jonathan. The lab wrote 'FUCK YOU BITCH YOU CAN'T KILL ME THAT EASILY' over 'Status: Unknown, Presumed Dead' all by themselves," Bambi teased, closing the file and clicking the pen she'd borrowed from the coffee table. "I guess it's comforting that, even though they're all dead now, so it doesn't really matter, they definitely didn't recognise me at the hospital last year."

"I was so confused when Nancy insisted on raiding my mom's dresser before we took you to the hospital," He softly smiled at the memory. "I suggested we covered it with a marker to turn it into a sick tattoo."

"Oh yeah? What were you going to draw on me?" She snorted. "Something classy like a flower, or were you going to fully lean into the 'you fell asleep at a party, so now we draw dicks on you' aspect?"

"What a party that night was," He rolled his eyes playfully.

"Total party!" She nodded along. "Shame that one guy's face opened up, and he tried to kill us. I mean, I told him it was a bad idea to mix drinks."

"Well, what drinks did he mix?" Bambi smiled as Jonathan leaned into her ridiculous ramblings. It was good to distract him a little from what was happening with Will and what had happened to Bob. She knew Jonathan was never Bob's number one fan, but even if he'd refuse to admit it, she knew he had been starting to develop a soft spot for him, even if it was only because he treated Will with respect.

"He pregamed with some beer, then stepped it up to tequila," She told him, pretending to be thinking back on the night. "Then I'm pretty sure I saw him drinking your mom's wine because that totally wasn't something I did over the summer."

"I knew it!" Jonathan gasped, pointing at her accusingly. "I told mom it was you, and she insisted that you'd never do something like that."

"Baby, she drank it with me," She laughed as Jonathan's face contorted into a look of complete confusion. "She knew damn well you were telling the truth, and she lied to your face!"

"Wait..." He shook his head. "When did that happen? Was I asleep?"

"You know I don't just come here to hang out with you and Will, right?" She grinned. "Your mom and I hang out all the time."

"What do you two even talk about?" Bambi laughed harder at Jonathan's confused and concerned expression.

"If you are trying to figure out if we talk shit about you, I can confirm that yes, we do!" She teased. "But don't worry, that's only like 20% of the time. Usually, we talk about... I dunno, girl stuff, I guess?"

"Girl stuff?" He frowned, very clearly racking his brain for what that could possibly mean.

"You know, things like-" Bambi caught herself before she said much more. "Uhhh... Maybe I'll tell you another time."

"Oh... OH!" Realisation dawned on his face. "I can't believe you hang out with my mom without me, and I had no idea."

"I mean, I don't have my own mom, so...." She shrugged. "Well, I guess now I do." She waved the picture of Matilda around.

"Did it say anything else?" He asked. "Like an address or contact information?"

"Nope, only her name- Matilda Easton. But there probably aren't many of them around. She won't be hard to find, I shouldn't think. It doesn't say the names of my brothers, but...." She flicked through the pages of the file absentmindedly. "That's if I'd even want to find them."

"Why wouldn't you?" Jonathan frowned at the idea that Bambi wouldn't want to meet her family.

"I've got my family right here," She shrugged, closing the file again. "Who needs some nameless older brother when I've got one passed out on the couch behind me, and another sat-" She froze and reached up to pull his collar down. "Is that a hickey?!"

"Shhh!" Jonathan pleaded, covering Bambi's mouth with his hand before anyone else heard. As usual, when she was being loud, and he did this, she licked his hand, causing him to pull away and wipe the saliva on her shoulder. "You're so gross sometimes."

"Jonathan Byers, when, where, and who?" She gasped while she attempted to pull his collar down again to study it. He was able to keep on batting her hand away as she spoke. "I need details!"

"I'm not going to-" He tried to refuse her attempts, but she interrupted when realisation dawned on her. There was only one person with him the past few days, as far as she was aware.

"Did you and Nancy-?" He slowly nodded at Bambi. Her mouth was gaping open at the overload of information. "Holy shiiiit! Wait! Does Steve-"

"I think she's going to tell him in a minute," He sighed. "Well, probably not everything, but... You know... I just hope he takes it well."

"If it helps, Steve was going to Nancy's house to properly break up with her," She explained. "Dustin caught us outside and roped us into all of this."

"Yeah, that... that helps," Jonathan nodded. A sly smile spread across his face as he gently nudged Bambi in the side. "At least now you and Steve can-"

Before they could continue with their conversation and Bambi could ask what the hell Jonathan was about to suggest, Dustin ran over and grabbed her arm, trying his best to pull her up from the floor.

"Mind Flayer!" He announced. Bambi decided to help him by just getting up herself instead of letting him tire himself from trying to pull her to her feet.

"Remorhaz!" Bambi responded with equal enthusiasm.

"What?" Dustin looked completely perplexed by this.

"I thought we were just naming D&D monsters from the manual?" She explained with a shrug.

"No! Mind Flayer!" He groaned as though she was supposed to just understand what he was saying with no context. "Will! Mind Flayer!" Bambi looked down at Will on the couch, and her eyes widened.

"Oh shit!" She nodded in agreement. "Motherfucking Mind Flayer!"

"What?" Jonathan asked, looking up at them in confusion. "What's happening?"

Bambi chased after Dustin, who had grabbed the monster manual they'd refer to during campaigns and flipped through it to the correct page. He slammed it onto the table as they gathered around, Bambi positioning herself in between Dustin and Steve.

"The Mind Flayer," Dustin repeated as everyone crowded at the table. "What the hell is that?" Hopper asked sceptically.

"It's a monster from an unknown dimension. It's so ancient that it doesn't even know its true home," Dustin explained. "Okay, it enslaves races of other dimensions by taking over their brains using its highly-developed psionic powers."

"Oh, my God, none of this is real," Hopper denied, very clearly getting more annoyed by the second. "This is a kids' game."

"No, it's a manual," Dustin corrected. "And it's not for kids. Bambi plays it."

"Bambi is a kid," Hopper pointed out. "Even if Callahan insists she's an ancient demon sent from hell to terrorise him."

"Awww, he said that?" Bambi grinned, twirling her short hair around her finger. "That's so sweet. I'll have to thank him."

"Later," Dustin brushed her off as he continued talking. "And unless you know something that we don't, this is the best metaphor-"

"Analogy," Lucas corrected.

"Analogy? That's what you're worried about?" Dustin scoffed. "Fine. An analogy for understanding whatever the hell this is."

"Okay, so this mind flamer thing-" Nancy said, leaning over the book to get a look at it.

"Flayer," Dustin corrected. "Mind Flayer."

"What does it want?" Nancy sighed.

"Mind Flayers want to conquer us usually," Bambi told them, trying to recall the exact wording. "Uh... They see themselves as masterminds that twist others into serving their own sinister and far-reaching schemes. Basically, it believes it's the master race."

"Like the- Like the Germans?" Steve asked. Bambi turned her head and smiled at him.

"You mean the Nazis, babe?" She corrected.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Nazis," He agreed after a small pause.

"Uh, if the Nazis were from another dimension, totally," Dustin mumbled. "Uh, it views other races, like us, as inferior to itself."

"It wants to spread," Mike added. "Take over other dimensions."

"We are talking about the destruction of our world as we know it," Lucas said sternly. Bambi watched as Steve pushed away from the table.

"That's great. That's great," He scoffed. Bambi followed him, grabbing his arm and trying to calm him down a little, not that it was doing much to help. "That's really great. Jesus!"

"It's okay," She tried to soothe him quietly in the corner while the rest of them kept on discussing the Mind Flayer.

"It's clearly not!" Steve huffed, crossing his arms as he turned to look at her. "There's a Mind Flagger-"

"Flayer," She corrected, reaching over to uncross his arms and hold his hands. "We'll... We'll figure something out."

"So, how do you kill this thing?" Hopper asked. Bambi pulled Steve back to the table. She tried to untangle their hands, but he hung on to one. She let their entwined hands drop to their sides as she joined in on the conversation. "Shoot it with Fireballs or something?"

"No, no Fire-" Dustin was holding back laughter. "No Fireballs."

"You summon an undead army," Bambi told them.

"Yeah! Because- because zombies, you know, they don't have brains, and the mind flayer, it- it- It likes brains," Dustin stumbled through the explanation before realising he was getting nowhere because there was no way they could summon an undead army in real life. "It's just a game. It's a game."

"What the hell are we doing here?" Hopper scoffed, slamming the book down on the table.

"I thought we were waiting for your military backup," Dustin pointed out as Hopper was walking away.

"We are!" Hopped yelled back.

"How are they gonna stop this?" Mike asked. "You can't just shoot this with guns."

"You don't know that!" Hopped denied. "We don't know anything!"

"We know it's already killed everybody in that lab," Mike pointed out.

"And we know the monsters are gonna molt again," Lucas added.

"We know that it's only a matter of time before those tunnels reach this town," Dustin added. Bambi was about to shout at everyone to calm the fuck down, but Joyce interjected before she could say anything.

"They're right," Her voice gave away just how much she'd been crying, and it broke Bambi's heart. "We have to kill it. I want to kill it."

"Me, too. Me, too, Joyce, okay? But how do we do that?" Hopper asked, his voice softening as he spoke to her. "We don't exactly know what we're dealing with here."

"No..." Mike started to walk over to where Will was still passed out on the couch. "But he does. If anyone knows how to destroy this thing, it's Will. He's connected to it. He'll know its weakness."

"I thought we couldn't trust him anymore," Max pointed out. "That he's a spy for the mind flayer now."

Mike continued on. "Yeah, but he can't spy if he doesn't know where he is." 

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I like to think that bambi screamed "is that a hickey" so loud that it broke the sound barriers and no one heard it

bambi does not know the word subtle - you know that meme where it's like "you can look, but be subtle"? well bambi is the sort to turn around and point at them and go "IS THIS THE GUY WE'RE TALKING ABOUT?"

likes and reblogs are very much appreciated and I will give each and every one of you little kisses on the forehead for each comment you write :)

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taglist (let me know if you want to be added!)

@missyviolet123 @littlet-holmes @buzzybee111 @preciousbabypeter @youmakemyhearthowl @joscelyn02 @wh0re4harrington

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Fully Completely 2

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape (series), violence, mutual irritation.

This is dark!Loki x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Series Synopsis: There’s a new face in Birch and he’s come to haunt your door.

Sister series to Smalltown Bringdown, When the Weight Comes Down, and Little Bones

Note: Here’s part two and things are getting aggressive fast.

Thanks to everyone for their patience and feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

Chapter 2: Either it'll move me

💀💀💀

Usually your work kept you busy and if you were busy, you were content. Not that day. Not since that man ruined your lunch. You were so worked up that when you got back to the garage, you didn’t even finish your sandwich. You barely got anything done as what you did had to be redone in your distraction.

The night was little better as you planned to get the car done so the next time Loki bothered you, you could tell him to fuck off. If his headlight did come in before he left town, you’d send it down to Carl’s to have the work done. You would take the cost from what Bucky gave you to cover your time.

You were on your second coffee by the time you headed down to the garage, your apartment conveniently above as your existence was relegated to that single lot in Birch. At the bottom step you paused as you sipped from the travel mug and listened to the unexpected noise from behind the black door.

You locked all the doors at night, even that between the entryway and the garage that you kept propped open during the day. You stepped closer and tested the handle and bent to examine the lock. You glanced over at the painted front door and found that both had been picked.

Your fingers tightened on the mug. The last person to break into your garage, well, they weren’t around to bother you anymore after Jerome found out. You swung the door open and hauled the hot coffee across the garage towards the only sign of movement.

Loki sidestepped the splash, a few drops along his dark jacket, and continued to tighten and untighten the wrench. He looked at you nonchalantly and his mouth slanted. He shook his head as he let the tool hang perilously from his hand.

“Is this how you treat all your customers? This ungainly assault,” he peered down at the overturned cup beside his car.

“What the fuck are you doing in my garage?” you huffed as you marched over to him and reached for the wrench.

He gripped it tighter as you tried to snatch it from him and held you close as he sneered down at you.

“Two days,” he said “correct?”

“Tomorrow by my count,” you rebuked and pulled harder on the wrench, “not that it gives you any right to break into my garage and touch my stuff.” He let you yank the metal free of your grasp and you pointed it at his chin, “so leave or this time I won’t miss.”

He chuckled, barely bothered by the tool pointed at him as his green eyes sparkled, “your count is incorrect. I might be early but your work is due this evening so I will wait.”

“Not here,” you waved the wrench at him and grabbed his arm, “so get out and come back later then.”

His hand covered yours and he pried your fingers from him. He twisted your hand back and you gasped and swung the wrench with your other. You hit his shoulder as he raised his arm in defense and grunted at the sharp impact. He let you go and you swung again. He dodged and shoved you away from him.

“Do not presume to put your hands on me,” he warned, “you know who my brother is, that I associate with your cute local chapter--”

“I’m not one of them and I don’t report to them,” you snarled, “so get out now or you won’t be associating with anyone.”

“Mouthy little bitch,” he slithered, “you touch me again, or even attempt it--”

“I said get out,” you hit the hood of his car and left a dent, “It’ll be another day at least.”

His nostrils flared and his eyes narrowed. He fixed his jacket and sighed. He raised his chin and stiffly strode across the garage and through the black door. You followed feet behind him and made sure he continued outside. You cranked the lock behind him and listened to his footsteps crunch through the snow.

You might not report to Bucky and his goons but he was going to keep the rabble in line.

💀

It was just after noon but you knew Bucky would already be at The Asp. You ventured down the street in your heavy boots, your jacket flapping open in the wind as you were set on your destination and the conversation that awaited you. You nodded at the man who leaned a few feet from the door and sucked on a cigarette.

You entered and shook the snow off your lined denim jacket and kicked off your boots. You looked around at the mostly empty bar. You rarely went there as it was more trouble than you needed. The men were drunk and dirty and like many places in Birch, you just didn’t fit. You didn’t want to fit.

Bucky sat at his usual table, a woman you recognized beside him. She had been a year or two ahead of you in school and a couple behind Bucky himself. You knew she was his new girl but she never really looked happy about it. Knowing him, it didn’t surprise you. He always wanted more than he got.

You crossed to him and stood in front of the round table as his right-hand thug watched you curiously. You raised a brow at Steve and focused on the boss.

“We need to talk,” you said plainly.

“We do?” he asked genuinely confused, “I owe you something?”

“You do and you don’t. I’m not here about money,” you replied, “but it’s important.”

“Alright,” he pointed to the chair in front of you and gestured to his companions, planting a kiss on the woman’s lips before she stood, her lips slightly curled at the corner, and left you. He shifted in his chair as they went and nodded when he was ready, “sorry, if I knew you were on your way, I would’ve kept her in the back.”

You scoffed and shook your head. He was always obtusely arrogant. “I stopped fucking you, Buck, I don’t care who you’re with now.”

“Yeah, yeah, I remember,” he inhaled and placed his hand against the table, “so what is it?”

“This guy, Loki,” you began, “brought his car to me two nights ago.”

“Mhmm, I sent him down. I know I should come down myself but--”

“Please, you hate going down there,” you waved his words away, “it’s not about the car, it’s about him.”

“What about him?”

“He broke into my shop this morning. There was… well, I got a few licks in and for the sake of you I’ve held back but you need to keep him away from me. I’ll fix his car but I’m not dealing with him anymore. He’s a pompous asshole who thinks he can just do whatever he wants.” You stopped yourself, usually not one to go on at length, “he’s your… associate, as he would say it, so he can deal with you, not me.”

He considered you and pulled his hand back to scratch the stubble along his jaw. His blue eyes were intrigued if not surprised.

“He… coming onto you?” he asked.

“No,” you blinked at him dully, “no, he’s just annoying me. You promised me the shop would be my space. He picked my locks, Buck, so you let him know what’s what.”

“He’s new in town,” Bucky sighed, “but I’ll talk to him.”

“You better,” you stood, “because I don’t care about whatever business you got going on, the next time, I’m gonna pop his eye out with a--”

“Don’t be dramatic,” he snipped, “I’ll take care of him, alright?”

“You better,” you said as you backed away, “or you can find someone else to fix up your bikes.”

“Really? You know it won’t come to that,” he sat forward in irritation, “go, he won’t bother you.”

💀

The next day you looked over the front of the car. Aside from the cracked headlight, it was as good as new. You rolled up the garage door and took the keys from the hook. You drove the car out and steered it along the snowy street and parked just outside The Asp. You got out and headed inside to hand off the keys to Bucky with a promise that you would take care of the light when it came in as long as he kept Loki away.

You returned to the garage to close the door and checked the time. You were overdue for lunch and hadn’t been back to The Chipped Saucer since that eventful day. You were hungry and too lazy to climb up to your apartment and dig through your fridge. 

You crossed the street and entered the diner as Kimmie looked up from the harlequin novel she hid behind as she stood by the till. She marked her page and closed it before she grabbed the carafe from the machine and crossed to your table. She poured you a mug and confirmed your usual order.

There were a few of the older residents enjoying pie and coffee at the other tables but the snow still kept many in their own houses. You might try the strawberry rhubarb before you went. You didn’t indulge in sweets often but it smelled good.

Kimmie brought your sandwich and as you finished the first triangle, you were disturbed by the last voice you wanted to hear. You didn’t look back as the door chimed behind the new patron and you continued chewing as you once more reviewed the newsletter. 

To your chagrin but not unexpectedly, the figure appeared at your table side. You bit into the next portion of your club sandwich and ignored him.

“Hello, darling,” Loki sat across from you as he had days before, “I saw that you attended to my vehicle at last. Fine work, I must say. I do hope the headlight arrives soon.”

You said nothing and kept eating as you looked out the window and slid the newsletter aside with your other hand. You took the last gulp of your coffee and swallowed. You raised your cup and looked around, “‘scuse me,” you called out, “when you have a second.”

He laughed to himself and you felt his gaze on you. You pushed aside your uneaten crust and went about your meal as if he wasn’t there. When Kimmie refilled your coffee, he ordered a tea and a bowl of the daily soup. 

You barely withheld your grimace as you watched Babs across the street by her bakery. She dusted snow off the open sign before she retreated back inside.

“I’m pleasantly surprised by the food here,” he mused as he stirred a plume of milk into his tea.

“Can’t you take a hint?” you snapped, “I don’t want you near me.”

“Believe me, at first, the feeling was mutual, darling,” he said.

“I told you not to call me that,” you frowned at him directly and he smirked.

“I like the way it makes your eyes go,” he taunted, “admittedly, that first meeting I would’ve liked nothing other than to never encounter you again but the more I poke and prod you, the more intrigued I am.”

“If you don’t stop--”

“You’ll go back to Barnes, hmm?” he intoned, “yes, he did speak with me but I might enlighten you on one fact. The man requires my business more than a mechanic, especially as there seems to be healthy competition in town.”

“You have your car, you’ll have the headlight done, and you can be on your way out of town,” you growled, “and you can be far away from me. Whatever stupid game you’re playing at, I’m not biting. I meant it when I said I won’t miss--”

“Darling, this is not an invitation,” his eyes strayed from your face for just a moment and he considered the buttons of your flannel shirt, “a man like me doesn’t ask, he expects.”

Your eyes rolled so hard it hurt. You pushed your plate away and pulled out your wallet. You left your tab on the table and stood. You shrugged into your jacket and glanced out the window at the white main street.

“Whatever you expect, it’s not going to happen,” you rebuffed, “but I told you what you can expect if you come around me again.”

You left as you had days before and stormed across the street without looking. You dodged out of the way of a slow rolling Ford as it honked and you waved them off. You stomped up to the front of your shop and realised too late you were being followed.

You spun around at the door to face Loki as he slid to a stop. He grabbed your arm and drew you back from the painted wood. You hit his chest and he barely flinched as he flicked your chin with his finger.

“Oh, darling, let’s not drag this out, I do love that temper--”

“Get off--” you pushed him and he nearly slipped and took you down with him as his leather soles held no traction on the frozen ground.

He threw you back and you hit the corner of the doorframe and gasped out as it forced the air from you. 

“I promise you, it won’t last. I will damp out that flame and bask in the smoke,” he neared again and you kicked out. He fell to his knees as the force of it had you on your ass. 

You crawled away from the wall as he tried to stand and you grabbed onto his leg and pulled him back down. He slid back to his kneeS and gripped the collar of your coat. You hooked your arm around his neck and he jabbed your stomach, not as hard as he could, but a warning.

You brought your other arm up as you struggled to get a foothold and you managed to push you both back. You fell in tandem into the snow, your arms locked as he forced his fingers under them to keep them from snaking tighter. He was strong and you knew you could only do so much. You had to keep him on the ground.

He elbowed your ribs and you released him sharply. You rolled away from him as you panted and scrambled on your hands and knees. The frigid snow seeped through your jeans and burned your palms. You heard him behind you and you turned as you climbed to your feet unsteadily.

He was half-keeled as he got his feet set and his dark hair hung over his forehead as he glared through the strands. He stood straight and pushed back the mess of tangles and you faced him, ready for another brawl.

“Oh, this will be fun, darling,” he brushed the powder from his suit and his cheek twitched, “You needn’t worry about Barnes, you should be more worried about me.”

He puffed out a breath and spun swiftly, nearly slipping again on the icy walk. He headed back down to the street and you saw the tension between his shoulders as he pulled his jacket straight. He hurried across the road and you turned back to the garage.

It was a brief retreat, a chance to plot, you knew that much. You only had to outlast him and if you were anything, it was stubborn.

[dragon-kazansky]

Made with love | Helmut Zemo

Chef Zemo AU 👨‍🍳

Gender neutral reader

Collage by @realremyd

[Previous chapter] - [Next chapter]

Part 3

It had been a whole year since your trip to Sokovia. Here you were again, exiting the airport in Navi Grad, excited to be back. You had invited Wanda to come along with you, of course she couldn't say no. This was her home country, she hadn't been back here in years.

She looked so excited as she looked around, taking in the familiar and unfamiliar sights. The city had been improved on a lot since she was last here, yet a lot of the buildings still looked the same.

"My home."

You chuckled softly. She looked like a child who had been told they could explore all they like in a new area.

"Your photos didn't do it any justice," she said, playfully glaring at you.

You glared back, just as playful. "Oh, thanks."

She gave a little giggle and grabbed your arm, wanting to look around immediately. You just let her lead the way.

Along the way she pointed out some places she remembered, telling stories of things she and Pietro used to get up to. She had many stories to tell, and you loved listening to all of them. It gave you a little more insight into her life.

Eventually you came across the square. Wanda looked rather smug as you both stood in the middle of the semi-busy square.

"Ah, yes, just as I remember it."

Up ahead was your new favourite restaurant. It looked just as it did a year ago. It was like a warm welcoming hug to see it again.

Wanda was looking at you, smug grin on her face. You looked down, blushing.

"Want to see him?"

"Not yet," you grab her hand and pull her along, walking in the opposite direction. You ignored her teasing comments as you marched onward.

It's not like he would remember you anyway. You were just one person he met a year ago.

You took Wanda to the little hotel you stayed in last time. You booked a room for the pair of you, only staying a few nights. Wanda instantly lay down on the bed, looking up at the ceiling.

"We should eat there tonight," she says.

"Why? There's plenty of other places to go eat," you tell her, trying not to make it obvious you really wanted to go and see Helmut.

"You know why. Play coy all you like, but I know you want to go."

You turn to see her looking at you.

"You just want to see him," you say, turning back away from her.

"I do. Maybe I can be your wing woman."

"Wanda!"

She sits up, crosses her legs, and looks at you intensely. You sigh and sit on your bed, looking at her.

"Fine, we'll go. Just don't do anything Wanda. He's just a nice guy, so be nice, and enjoy his food. Seriously, it's the best."

Wanda chuckles and gets up.

"Why don't we go now. Maybe he will recognize you."

"I doubt it," you tell her, "it's been a year."

You find yourself standing outside Escorpión Morado. You have missed this place. You can tell just from where you're standing that its hasn't changed in the last year.

There were a few people dotted about enjoying their meals. It gave you that homey feeling again.

You go inside.

Wanda looks around you both make your way over to the bar. You each take a seat. You turn to Wanda.

"Well?"

"It's very nice. I can see why you like it so much," she smiles at you.

A man comes to a stop in front of both of you. He's not someone you immediately recognize, perhaps he is new, or you didn't see him last time.

"What can I get for you both."

You look to Wanda to see what she wanted first, but you did not anticipate her to say what she did.

"We'll have the chef please."

The man blinks, trying to comprehend if he had actually heard what she said. He was about to ask again, but she beat him to it.

"The chef, please."

You stare at her, mouth agape, eyes wide.

"Wanda!" You hissed.

The man left and went into the kitchen, fetching the man Wanda had asked for. You sat there in great embarrassment.

"What are you playing at?"

Wanda laughs, ignoring the way you were glaring at her. You bury your face in your arms against the counter and try to block out her laughter.

Wanda is still giggling when you hear someone stop in front of you. A cold sweat began to break as you dreaded looking up. Was this him standing over you? You hoped to high heaven it wasn't.

"Someone ordered the chef?"

Well fuck it all. You kept your face hidden, not daring to show your face. It didn't matter if he remembered you or not, you were far too embarrassed to look at him.

You knew his voice. Remembered it. The smooth way he spoke, that amusement that hung off the end of his sentence. They sexy tone he uses.

Helmut Zemo.

Oh, you have missed this friendly stranger.

"Yes, my friend here wanted you." You hear Wanda say. You could murder her sometimes, you were sure.

"Is something the matter? Sam, get them some water, would you?" You hear him say.

You hear, presumably Sam, fetch you some water.

He didn't recognize you. Good.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine," you reply, though your voice was heavily muffled by your arms. You wouldn't dare lift your head.

"Perhaps if you sat up. We could move you closer to the door, get some fresh air, yet sit in the shade," he offered.

You felt Wanda place a hand on your shoudler.

"Come on, Y/N. Look at him," she whispered.

You sigh and take a deep breath. You slowly move your head up, looking up at the beautiful bastard across the bar. Is it even legal to look that good?

He stops his worrying when he sees your face.

He remembers?

"Y/N?" He smiles.

"Yes," is all you can bring yourself to say. His smiles drops a little.

"Helmut, remember? Last year?"

"I remember."

His smile is soft as he looks at you. He doesn't look any different than you remember. If anything, just more handsome than memory serves.

"Did you forget me?" He asks, seeing your laid back reaction.

"No. I'm just surprised you remembered me."

He stands there, hands on his hips as he grins at you smugly.

"How could I forget someone so interesting. Also, you are wearing that coin." He nods, respectfully, at your chest where the coin was hanging.

"I am." You clasp it gently between your fingers.

"It's good to see you again," he speaks softly, genuine happiness lifting his expression.

"It's good to see you too," you smile back at him. He looks far more elated now you're smiling at him.

"What can I get for you? I can't imagine you came here only to see me," he grins smugly again.

"Food," Wanda said. "Though he is quite a snack, isn't he?" She whispered the last part. You turn to her sharply and glare. Zemo hadn't seemed to notice what she had said.

He was too busy watching you.

"Shall I surprise you again?" He asks.

You turn back to him and smile.

"Yes. Do that. I trust you."

Hearing those made him happy. Helmut points his chin up a bit and glides back into the kitchen, though not before telling Sam to fix you up some drinks.

Wanda nudges your shoulder.

"You sure do have taste, and I am not talking about the food."

"Wanda, please, stop!"

She laughs as Sam puts two drinks down in front of you both. You resist looking at her any more and thank Sam for the drinks, he smiles and then leaves you two alone to enjoy them. You take a sip.

"We're going to get you a boyfriend, Y/N."

"Wanda, please, I am begging you, stop!"

She laughs again.

"I'm joking, but it would be a real big shame if nothing came out of it. You two would look so good together."

You ignore her statement.

Zemo returns and places a dish in front of each of you. He stands back, smiling, and watches you both take a bite.

Wanda let's out the strangest moan you had ever heard. You have to cover your mouth as you laugh at her.

"What was that noise?" You ask, just about getting through your mouthful of food.

"This is so good."

Helmut chuckles.

"Success!"

You take another bite and nod. You swear there isn't a bad thing on his menu. This man knows exactly what he is doing when it comes to his restaurant.

"Do you like it?" He asks, specifically asking you this time.

"Yes, very much."

He smiles at you.

"I got your letter, by the way."

"My letter?" You ask, confused on what he was talking about.

Helmut digs into his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper. It's crinkled and has been early opened several times.

Now you remember.

"Oh, that letter."

"You wrote him a letter?" Wanda looks at you. "You didn't mention that."

"It's not important," you tell her.

"It is to me. It's the only goodbye I got when you left," Zemo said, holding the letter carefully in his hand. His dark eyes were scanning over the words you had written a year ago.

"It meant that much to you?"

"Yes, actually," his eyes cast to you.

You sat there, biting the inside of your cheek softly, pink dusting your cheeks and the tips of your ears.

Helmut smiled at the sight. He folded the letter and tucked it away into his pocket.

"I'll keep it forever," he says, mostly just to tease you.

"Please don't."

He chuckles and leaves your side to see to other customers. Wanda sits next to you, smiling wickedly. You dare not look at her, nor do you let your eyes follow Zemo as he walks away.

"You have it bad," Wanda chuckles, giving her nose a little scrunch with a grin.

"I know," you admit.

Wanda chuckles softly and leans in a little closer.

"He likes you too, you know. I think you left an impression on him."

You glance behind you, seeing Zemo taking an order. He was talking to the customers, smiling at them.

"Really?"

"Yes. I saw it in the way he looked at you."

"You do realise I only met him last year. I only saw him twice," you look at her, doubt written all over your face.

"Doesn't matter. It only takes a moment to fall in love with someone." She winks at you.

Zemo smiles at you as he passes by, disappearing into the kitchen.

"I think you're overreacting a little."

She shrugs and sips her drink, eying you with a mischievous glint in her gaze.

Zemo brings the couple their orders and returns to you and Wanda. Meals finished and drinks empty.

"Went down well I see."

"Very much so," you say, smiling softly.

"Would you like another drink?" He asks, his gaze lingering in you more than Wanda.

"I would," Wanda says, holding up her glass.

You chuckle, "just one more."

You had no idea how happy he was you agreed. He wanted you to stay a while longer. He grabbed your empty glasses and took them away, bringing you fresh drinks.

As Zemo poured behind drinks, he chose to ignore the way Sam was looking at him.

You took your drink gratefully as he handed it over. He stuck around again, seemingly happy to spend his time with you two.

Wanda carried most of the conversation. Zemo and yourself were sharing glances, though always just missing each other.

Wanda finished her drink and made an excuse to leave. You wanted to follow her, but the look she was giving you, and the way Zemo was looking at you, told you to stay.

You watched her go.

Zemo leaned forward on the bar, arms folded and supporting him as he smiles handsomely at you. You smile, though slightly awkwardly.

"It is very good to see you again, Y/N."

"You too. I see business is booming."

He chuckles softly.

"For now."

"For now?" You furrow your brow and tilt your head slightly.

"You didn't see it?"

"See what?"

"There is a new restaurant being done up in the city. Bigger, grander, more elegant than this place. At least, that's what they're saying."

"Oh? We didn't see anything like that. We have only been here a shirt while though. Wanda was showing me some of her favourite places."

"I see. Do you like Sokovia?"

"I do. It's so pretty here."

He smiles.

"I'm glad you think so. You would do wonderful here."

"What do you mean by that?" You watch him curiously, wondering what he was implying.

"I mean, you would be well suited to Sokovia life. If you were to live here," he smirks, hands flat out on the bar as he looks at you with sparkly eyes.

"Really? I don't think so. I stand out too much from the locals."

"Exactly. They wouldn't care. They would have someone so stunning to see every day. I would get to see you more too, a bonus for everyone." He winks at you.

"You're such a flirt!"

"Of course I am. Money keeps the business going, but charisma brings me my customers. I have to make an impact, no?"

You chuckle softly.

"I see how it is," you say, sliding off the stool. You take some money from your pocket and place it on the counter. Zemo tries to stop you, but you don't let him.

His hand hovers over yours as you leave the money on the counter.

"It was nice seeing you again, Helmut, but I must go."

"Will you come again?"

"I expect so."

He smiles.

"Don't leave without saying goodbye this time," he tells you.

"We shall see."

"I'll come looking for you if I have to!"

"No, you won't," you grin as you leave.

Zemo watches you go, his heart doing somersaults in his chest. How could one stranger make him feel so much?

Sam looks at his boss and grins.

"You have it bad, Zemo."

"Get back to work, Sam."

"Yes chef."

Zemo glances down at the money you had left for the drinks. He slides into his palm and puts it into the register.

He will count down the seconds until he sees you again.

@namethathasnotbeentaken @belle82devart @cathrin2405 @lieutenantn @wilder-fangirl @latenightartist-author @lucky-luck-lucky @hb8301 @charistory @thatoneartgalsstuff @thesuitkovian @malkaviangirl @zemosimp420 @realremyd @the-chaotic-cow @lostghostgirl94 @zafiro-draco @lazygurl05 @pinkcutiepiee @goddessofmischief03 @whovianayesha @myybebe @awesomesauce-abbie @that-stupid-head-tilt-thing @zemo-is-my-muse @nonamec0s @apparrio @scuttle-buttle @alex-the-nb

[sitaarein]

None Stand Equal In This Dark World

A/N: Officially my largest ever fic so please. Just read it and be nice sob because I’m kinda proud of some of it

Written for @grishaversebigbang 2021!!!

Corporalki: @homicide-depot​

Materialki: @generalnabri (x), @kolarpem (x), @aivicart (x), @maximumbluebirdpatrol , @niadrawing (x)

 (Summary: A murder mystery AU featuring Zoyalai, twists and turns, moral dilemma, and then some more

Read on AO3

Chapter One

The apartment door was wide open.

 In retrospect, that alone should have set off the alarm bells in Zoya’s head. No one left the door to their place wide open. She can’t imagine why she simply dismissed it. 

 Scratch that, she knew why. She’d been tracking this idiotic Grisha for a month now. She was tired and desperate. 

 But it appeared that- who would’ve thought- not being at the top of your game has consequences. 

 Consequences like staring down a man who’s been tied to a chair and gagged in the middle of, what Zoya guesses is, the lounge, eyes wide with terror.

 Zoya is mad at herself for not managing to guess it was a red herring- the damn door - and very, very mad at the Grisha who has, once again, slipped right through her hands. 

 She nods to one of her men, and he immediately drops to the man’s level to untie and presumably interrogate him. Zoya doesn’t stick around for the details- she trusts her people to give her good reports. Instead, after a cursory look around, she tips her head back to face the ceiling, taking in a deep breath, and leaves the apartment. 

 The weather outside took a dramatic turn in the fifteen minutes she was inside- it had been sunny before, or at least as sunny as Ravka ever could get. But now, the sun has all but ceased to exist, and the bitter cold is back once more. 

 Zoya prefers the cold. 

 (She doesn’t, not really, but no one needed to know that.)

 Zoya starts walking, pulling her coat tighter around herself. Her mind races, trying to connect all the dots, trying to figure out where her investigation had gone wrong. Start from the beginning. Don’t miss anything. The most minor of details are the most important.

  The beginning. A woman showed up to their headquarters about her missing family. Those cases were usually dismissed completely, handed over to the police forces- Zoya’s force was Grisha-centric, other cases, no matter how large or important they were, did not concern them. But this case was different.

 The woman was Grisha. 

 Her family weren’t, evidently- and neither did they know that she was. They’d been missing for six weeks, and the odds were pretty heavily stacked against them still being alive. The woman was detained (she was Grisha, this was Zoya’s job ) and a group of officers were dispatched for a search and rescue.

 The officers never returned.

 Alarm bells were now ringing, and the General assigned Zoya to the case. In the time since she officially took over, twenty more disappearances were documented, and all of them in Os Kerva alone. Saints knew what was happening in the rest of the country.

 But Zoya had never believed in Saints, so she found out what was happening in the rest of the country.

 The total number of disappearances in all of Ravka that had this case’s signature mark- an eclipsed sun left wherever the victims were seen last- was an estimated three thousand . Zoya couldn’t believe no one had connected the dots before her. Then again, the entire of the force were filled with incompetent idiots, so maybe it shouldn’t have surprised her. 

  The series of events . Zoya travelled up and down the country with the best of her underlings, talking to anyone who knew the victims, searching their last known places with tooth combs, building up working hypotheses, using all the resources they had available. Zoya was not an idiot. She knew exactly how capable she was. 

 And she also knew when she was fighting a losing battle.

 And so, when she got a call from one of her top detectives about a confirmed Grisha she’d been trailing for some time now who’d begun suspicious activity, she was clutching at straws and willing to take anything that came her way. She met up with her agent, and a few days later, they got the address of the apartment she was currently pacing in front of.

  The present . This part could be summed up fairly quickly. Zoya is, once again, at a fucking dead end . 

 Before she can kick something (or someone) out of frustration, A faint ringing reaches her ears, and frowning, Zoya stops in her tracks. Her phone is never not on silent. Calling Zoya Nazyalensky for anything was utterly pointless- she never picked up. 

  But the GIA has ways of getting into contact with its members regardless.

 Muttering a curse, Zoya digs around her pockets, looking for the infernal device with its grating, high-toned ringing. Finally locating her phone, she jabs the answer button without looking at the caller ID.

 “Yes?” she asks bluntly. 

 “Zoya,” Alina’s voice greets her.  

 Zoya immediately forgets everything that had been on her mind. When Alina calls, it’s rarely for a friendly chat. 

 “What’s wrong?”

“You need to get back here. As soon as possible.”

 “Understood. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

 Alina hangs up immediately, and Zoya pockets her phone, mind racing.

 She orders one of her lackeys to send her a report when they're done, grabs the keys for the van they’d used to get to the apartment from a rather distracted officer, taking off.

 Zoya reaches the Grisha Investigation Authorities in approximately half the time she’d given to Alina, and she may or may not have disobeyed quite a few traffic laws to get to her destination as quickly as she did, but that was frankly unimportant. 

 She strides through the doors, not bothering to acknowledge the many who’ve halted their paths to nod to her or, in the case of a few particularly stupid (or courageous, however you wanted to see it) people, attempt to strike up a conversation with her. She didn’t break her pace even once, until she’d reached the door to the meeting room they usually used to meet up for serious issues. After taking a moment to compose herself, Zoya pushes the door open.

 Inside, she finds all of her fellow Commanding Officers assembled- Adrik, Leoni, Alina, and Genya. Frowning, Zoya scans their faces, and mentally shifts whatever’s happening even higher on her scale of terrible shit to take care of immediately.

 Because not even Leoni, who can find positivity at a funeral, is smiling right now. There’s barely a hint of her optimistic and eternally cheerful personality in her countenance. 

 Zoya carefully takes the seat left for her around the circular table. Her gaze flits from one worried face to another, and she decides to be direct.

 “How bad is it?”

 The question seems to jolt Alina out of her reverie. She looks up, and Zoya feels her breath catch, because she looks so… helpless. Terrified.

 Genya takes it upon herself to answer Zoya’s question with another question, her mouth set in a grim line. “How’s your investigation going?”

 “We lost the suspect,” Zoya admits, her earlier frustration returning with the reminder of the infernal case. “We’re right back to where we started- but without the hope and the general idea of where to start.”

 “I’m not surprised,” Adrik mutters. “Considering who your delightful suspect is…”

 Zoya furrows her brow, and glances back at Genya. “Explain.”

 Genya looks as if she would rather do anything else, but after coming to the realisation that no one else is about to, she sighs and does so.

 “I’m presuming you remember Alina’s case that went cold about two years back?”

  A little too well. Even years later, that case haunts her- the truly horrific killings, from corpses with their body parts stuffed down their throats, to children who had clearly been still alive when burnt, the utter dead ends, Alina’s far too close brush with death, and… the person behind it all.

 “You don’t think it’s the same person??” Zoya demands, horror spreading through her veins.  She can not handle another Kirigan. 

 In lieu of replying, Genya nods to Leoni, who pushes forward a large envelope. Dread pooling in her gut, Zoya opens the package to find pictures from Alina’s investigation.

 “We revisited these when your disappearances started,” Genya says. “And… found more similarities than we’re frankly comfortable with.” 

 Zoya shifts the photos around, and then freezes at one, having caught sight of a mostly blurry but still distinctive calling card. “That’s…”

 “The eclipsed sun,” Adrik provides grimly. “You’re screwed.”

 “Hey, now,” Leoni protests. “We don’t know that.”

 Adrik snorts. “Don’t we? Need I remind you of the damage this person wrecked to the GIA and our country?”

 “How do we know this isn’t just a copycat?” Zoya breaks in. “None of the bodies of the victims this time around have been discovered,”

 “Copy cats still tend to have their own twists on kills, a signature, a mark that’s theirs. While none of the killings for either case have many similarities, they also don’t vary in terms of said signature.” Genya says.

 “Killers are proud creatures,” Adrik inputs.

 “And this one’s no exception,” Leoni says, eyes grim. 

 Zoya looks up. “What do you know?”

 Leoni hesitates, but then gives in. “We got a note this morning. A photocopy should be in the envelope too.”

 Zoya overturns the envelope, and sure enough, a piece of paper falls out. She picks it up, reads it, and crumples it up. 

 “You’re sure this isn’t a stupid joke?”

 “It was in the Director’s office.” Leoni says. 

  Shit.  Zoya glances back down at the crumpled mass she’s still clutching. You will burn on your mistakes. What mistakes? 

 She ignores the faint voice in the back of her head. You know what mistakes.

 Zoya takes a deep breath, focuses her thoughts, and then exhales. “How’s the Director doing?”

“He’s terrified.” All of the COs seemed to be equally startled to see Alina was the one to speak. Her mouth is set in an angry line, and Zoya can guess the track of her thoughts, because they were the same ones that had crossed her mind upon hearing the words- who is he to be terrified? What right did the Director even have to feel scared, when he himself never so much as interacted with the cases???

 Adrik sighs, leaning back in his seat. “Which is what has led us to our current predicament.”

 “And what do you mean by that?” 

 Genya exhales in a huff. “He wants the Mentals on this case along with all of us.”

 “He what.” 

 Alina, lips twisted in a sardonic smile, gestures to nothing in particular. “You heard correctly.”

 “Why ??? This is my case, and I will handle it.”

 “He doesn’t want a repeat of the bad press that came with my failing last time, I’m guessing.”

 “Bad press,” Zoya spits out. “I wonder how much bad press he’ll get when I-”

 “Do not,” Genya warns. “This could be helpful to us.”

  But also a personal disgrace , Zoya finishes the sentence in her head. The Mentals were practically a legend of the GIA- they were special, elite investigators, a whole mix of people ranging from scientists to- if the rumors were correct- ex-spies, who ended up with the cases no one else in the force could solve, and somehow, without fail, solved each of them within a week at the least. 

 It was irritating as hell.

 And having them assigned on your case meant that the Director did not trust you to be successful on your own. 

 Absolutely wonderful.

 “So when are these... spectacular detectives arriving?” Zoya asks. 

 Genya opens her mouth, and then closes it, before starting, “Well-”

 “I hope I’m not too late to this marvelous party?”

 Zoya swivels to see who this truly abnormally cheerful person is, and then blinks. She turns back to face the others once more- Adrik still looks glum, Leoni is smiling her most polite smile, Alina seems to have perked up and Genya is genuinely smiling. They all look… unsurprised.

 Of course they were hiding more secrets up their sleeves.

 “ What,” Zoya finally breaks and asks. “Is the damned PR guy doing here?”

 The aforementioned PR guy pouts. “Is that really what I’m known for around here? My PR duties? That’s quite depressing. Why would you focus on that when you could talk about my stunning good looks, or my undeniable charm, or even my ability to-”

 “Nikolai,” Alina interrupts. “Shut up.” she looks at Zoya, a hint of dry amusement in her eyes. 

 “Zoya, this is Nikolai Lantsov, and he is indeed our PR guy, but he’s also… head of the Mentals.”

 Zoya blinks. He’s what??? And then, wait… they knew who the special investigators were? How long have they known? Why was I not informed?

 She doesn’t voice any of her thoughts, choosing instead to stare, unimpressed, at the blond, who grins at her in response. 

 “If I had known you possessed such astounding grace and beauty, Miss Nazyalensky, I would have made your acquaintance sooner! I’m sure these upcoming days will prove to be an absolute pleasure, provided I get to spend them in your delightful company.”

 “Saints save me,” Zoya utters faintly. “The Director assigned an idiot to my case.”

 “Hey, now!” Nikolai protests. “You haven’t even met the rest of my team yet!”

 “An idiot who talks too much,” she deplores. 

 Genya and Alina both snort at that. In fact, all of her fellow COs seemed to be taking far too much pleasure in this situation. Zoya hates all of them. 

  “Well, now that we’ve gotten the pleasantries out of the way,” Nikolai says, to which Zoya distinctly hears Adrik mutter “pleasantries?” under his breath, “I think now would be a wonderful time for me to introduce you to my brilliant team,”

  Genya sits up immediately, looking eager. Zoya wonders what that’s about. 

 She finds out fairly quickly.

 Nikolai ushers in a group of people, and she recognises one in particular, one who she has, in fact, known since her college years -

 David. Genya’s husband, David Kostyk, is a part of the Mentals. Harmless old David. Zoya can’t believe her eyes. 

 She scans the rest of the group, but the others barely seem familiar. The two Shu right in front of David look similar enough to be twins, apart from the height difference. Right next to David is a woman that, with a jolt, Zoya recognises as Adrik’s sister from what she’s heard and seen of her. Bringing up the rear is a man who vaguely resemblesNikolai himself, ducking his head shyly as he enters the room. 

 “Now that your merry party is all assembled,” Adrik says glumly. “Any ideas where to start?”

 “Shouldn’t we at least get to know each other first?” Adrik’s sister asks.

 Adrik stares at her. “I’ve known you since I was born.”

 “We’re not the only ones in the room, Adrik.”

 “Oh, aren’t we ? I can’t say I noticed.”

 Nikolai interrupts their glaring match to finally provide Zoya with names to all the unfamiliar faces. 

 “Tamar, Tolya, Nadia, and Isaak, meet the officers we’ll be working with for the next few weeks or longer- Alina, Genya, Zoya, Leoni, and Adrik,” he gestures towards each person in turn. Zoya briefly wonders how he already knows their names, before realising that just because the GIA didn’t know who the special investigators were didn’t exactly mean they didn’t know the GIA either. 

 “And now,” Nikolai beams. “Let’s get comfortable. It’s time to discuss our present conundrum!”

[t-o-m-hollands]

Chapter eight

Summery: Tom is part of the Firm, a fearless London gang. You knew each other as children, before everything changed. Now your paths cross again.

Pairing: Tom and female reader.

Themes: Mob!Tom, Peaky Blinders inspired, period piece – this is set in 1961, London.

Warnings: Violence, kidnapping, one hit to the head. Smut. I mean, it’s a mob!AU so generally just a lot of talking of murder, fighting and violence. THIS IS A +18 STORY. 

Word count: 5k. Sorry, but this is an eventful chapter so got a bit long. I didn’t want it to end in a cliffhanger so I sort of had to go on a bit

An absolute massive thank you to @plantlungs​ for being an amazing editor and for having the patient of a saint and correct all my misplaced commas and confused word choices. 

READ PREVIOUS CHAPTERS HERE

Recap of the story so far: Tom is part of and working himself up in the Firm; the feared London gang. Its leader is a certain Fabien Towner. After an attack on Harrison it’s clear that they have a traitor in their midst who is also working for the rival gang created by a man called Jack Flanagan. While Tom is trying to bring the attacker in for questioning he meets you; his old school love (and unfortunately for him, the daughter of the home secretary who has spent most of his career trying to put an end to organized crime).  After an interesting night where you end up as a witness for a murder Tom essentially has to kidnap you until he knows what to do with you. Ending up deciding to let you live, and in doing so risking his own life, he lies to Fabien about there being no witness to the crime.  

Some time later you and Tom meet again at the club Romantique, as Tom has gone there to negotiate with Jack Flanagan. You go home with Tom that night and the two of you begin an affair. Fabien, finding out about the affair and of who your father is, is delighted, thinking that he can use you as leverage to the home secretary.  

Not many days later Tom is attacked by Flanagan’s gang, and he flees to your house where you patch him up. He tells you of Fabien’s plan, and asks you to work with him in order to bring the traitor in – the only thing that can possibly distract the Firm’s leader from you. You agree to help him.  

***

All you have is your fire

And the place you need to reach

Don't you ever tame your demons

But always keep 'em on a leash

arsonist's lullaby - hozier

***

You wake with a kiss to your forehead. Opening your heavy eyelids, you’re met with a smile, and a pair of sparkling brown eyes.

“Morning” Tom says quietly. He’s sitting on the edge of the bed, already dressed for the day in his usual suit, hair fixed and the outlining of a gun showing underneath his suit jacket. 

“Good morning,” you respond, voice soft and full of sleep. Sitting up in the soft bed and pulling the sheets around you, you lean closer towards him. Gently you place your hand on his cheek, stroking his skin you feel the faint trace of stubble. He smells of his lemon and cedar soap and faintly of cigarettes. Pressing your lips softly against his other cheek, and then on his jawline,  you whisper against his skin, “Do you really have to go?”

You can tell he’s focusing on his breathing, and as you lean back his dark eyes, glossed over and pupils dilated, are focused on your lips. His own mouth is slightly opened, and he’s leaning in towards you. Just as he’s about to press his lips against yours he murmurs, “Afraid so, darling.” He leans back and winks at you, a devilish smile on his lips. 

“Don’t worry, angel, I’ll give you everything you want soon enough.”He stands up and moves towards the door. “I’ll be back before you know it, just doing some collecting today; shouldn’t be more than an hour. I’ll come back and we’ll have lunch, yeah?”

He’s leaned against the doorway, hands in suit pockets, the stolen Rolex on his wrist glistening in the early morning light coming in through the window. He’s all wicked smiles and dimples and his eyes are gleaming as he looks at you; sitting in the middle of the bed, white sheets pulled around you and hair loose, your skin kissed by the sun streaming in.

You smile back at him and letting go of the sheets you let them fall around you. Leaning back against your elbows you slowly spread your bent legs; looking at him all the while. He’s got his dark eyes fixated on where your spread legs meet. Slowly walking towards you, like a hunter approaching its prey. Reaching the bed he leans over it, grabs hold of your thighs, and pulls you towards him until he’s pressed up against your naked crotch. Leaning over you, hands resting on either side of your face, he whispers in a low voice against your lips, “Such a devious little temptress, aren’t you?”

He leans back and falls down on his knees. Kissing the soft inside of your thigh he bites the sensitive skin, leaving a wet and burning spot, he blows cold air on it and you shiver. He looks up at you, wicked smile in place and eyes sparkling with pleasure. “You could tempt a saint you know?” he says, voice thick with bewildered wonder as he presses his soft lips against your cunt, before licking up your slit, eagerly. “How’s a poor devil like me supposed to stand a chance?” 

***  

There’s a flickering light above your head and the hallway smells of something rotten. The dark medallion wallpaper and crimson-coloured carpet make it feel like the room is spinning slightly around you. 

You’re just about to carefully lock the door to Tom’s apartment, having decided to go home and change before lunch, when you hear a creaking on the floor behind you. Something like alarm bells go off in your head, and you turn around only to be hit with something heavy and sharp right by your mouth.   

A ringing in your ear, and the whole room seems to change perspective, turn on its side somehow. It takes you a second to realize that it isn’t the room that has fallen; it is you. Something above you moves, but you can’t see clearly, just the outlines of a blurred shadow coming closer and closer and a smell you can’t place but is stronger than the rotten smell of the hallway. And then a wet cloth covers your mouth.

Memories of when you were a child, swimming in the municipal pool, flash before your eyes and you can’t understand why.

Only, just before everything turns dark, does it hit you.  

Chloroform. 

*** 

The first thing your mind registers as you wake is a sore neck. A sore neck and a stinging nose and a back that feels uncomfortably stiff. You try to open your eyes but find the world just as dark as when you had them closed. Trying to move your hands you realize that they have been tied behind the uncomfortable chair you’ve been placed in.  

Panic rises like bile in your throat and you want to scream, but the sound refuses to leave your lips, as if the panic itself is blocking it from leaving. Trying to kick your legs you realize that they too have been bound.  

“She’s awake,” someone mutters behind you and you freeze, heart beating so hard in your chest that it’s hard to hear anything but the blood rushing through your system. “Go tell Jack,” the voice orders, and a pair of heavy footsteps move across the floor and soon a door opens and shuts.  

Laying all your focus on your breathing, trying not to hyperventilate, you try to keep in control of yourself, though you can feel sweat begin to form on your forehead. You feel hyper- aware of your own body, of the rope digging into the fragile skin of your wrists, of the hard chair underneath you, of your own mortality and the dangerous situation you are in. You had been in a situation like this before, in a now very familiar apartment in Mile’s End. But even though you had been frightened then, it is nothing compared to the terror that grips hold of you now.

Soon a door opens, and footsteps move across the floor again.  

“Now boys, is this the way you treat a lady?” A deep voice roars in an Irish brogue. “Have I taught you no manners?” The footsteps move closer and closer until they’re standing behind you.  

“You big lads so scared of a girl you need to tie her up?” You hear how the man fiddles with something, only to realise that he’s untying the rope around your legs. Soon you feel the rope loose; but you are too frightened to even try to move them out of their uncomfortable position.   

“Now unless you think this tied- up wench will overpower me, I suggest you get a fucking move on, yeah?”  the man continues, as he frees your wrists as well.  

No verbal answer follows, just the sound of a dozen of boots moving across the floor until eventually, the door shuts; leaving the room in silence apart from your ragged breaths and rabbit heart; pounding so hard in your chest you’re sure it’s clear for anyone to hear.   

Then there’s a sudden movement by your head and then – you can see again.   

Disoriented you blink into the light. The man, Jack you presume, pulls a chair across the floor, the scraping noise almost alarmingly loud to your panicked senses, and he sits down opposite you. Carefully you move your stiff hands from their position behind your back, slowly moving them to your front and placing them on your knees. 

“There we go,” Jack says in a low, gruff voice that tells of years of smoking.  

 He’s probably in his early fifties, with blond hair that has begun to turn white and a neatly trimmed beard. A long scar is etched across his cheek. Wearing a rather worn grey suit he’s leaned back in his chair, looking relaxed and comfortable; the very opposite to how you are feeling. There’s something both harmless and, at the same time, absolutely terrifying about him. He’s almost disarming in his lack of threats, his slow, low way of talking and the patient, curious way he’s looking at you. You can’t get a read of the man, and that frightens you.  

The room you’re in doesn’t help to make you feel more comfortable. It looks like an abandoned old apartment, wallpapers half torn down and a broken chandelier hanging from the ceiling. It’s dark outside the dirty window, and you wonder for how long you’ve been unconscious. An entire day must have passed since this morning.  

“Now girl, you and I are gonna have a little chat about an old friend of mine,” he starts. 

You don’t respond, waiting for him to reveal his hand before you make up your mind about how to play your cards with this unknown man. 

“Now, child,” he continues, “what do you know of Fabien Towner?” 

You’re taken aback at that. Somehow, subconsciously, you must have assumed that this kidnapping by this evident gangster had something to do with your father and his work as home secretary. That you had been picked out to provide information about a man you had never as much as laid eyes on had not occurred to you.  

“All I know is what’s written in the newspapers.” You answer, only somewhat truthfully, since Tom has told you a few things about the feared London mobster as well.  

“Sweetheart,” he chuckles, a deep, throaty sound, “do I look like the sort of man who reads the papers?” He’s smiling at you, though it seems malignant. You are reminded of a cat, playing with its food before it eats it. “I know better than to believe a word that's written in them,” he adds and grins, “after all, they write that I’m a bad man.”

“But alright then, let’s play that game,” he snaps, and the sudden change from almost playful to deadly serious has your heart faltering in your chest. “What do you know of a young mister Tom Holland, hm?” 

If your heart was faltering in your chest before, it positively stops beating now. Your first instinct is to deny your knowledge of Tom’s existence. To say you’ve never heard that name. But you must keep your head cold, be calm and clever. This man knows very well that you know who Tom is, you were after all attacked when leaving his apartment.  

“Not much,” you say, and your voice is frailer than you’d hoped. “He’s just a man I’ve been seeing”.  

Jack’s hard, blue eyes are fixed on yours. He observes you for a while before saying, “You seemed very cozy with him at Romantique. I’m the owner of that club, I damn well know who frequents it, and what they get up to in it.”

It hits you then, and you want to groan at how slow you’ve been. This is Jack, the Jack Flanagan, the owner of club Romantique and Fabien’s sworn enemy, who has infiltrated the Firm with a traitor. 

“Yes, I met Tom there, but I don’t know anything about Fabien Towner.”  

Jack keeps his intense eyes fixed on you, as if he’s trying to read any slight change in your face. He scratches the roughened skin of his scarred cheek almost absentmindedly. “Come on now, I know how young men work when they’re trying to impress a pretty girl. They boast about how big and bad and ballsy they are. He’s told you about his,” and there’s a slight pause and a wicked grin before he continues, “profession, I presume?”

“All I know is he’s part of the Firm,” you say and sniff, “do you think he’d tell me anything? I’m just some girl he fucks. I don’t think he cares at all about me.” Your voice breaks as you speak, and two tears fall down your cheeks as you lie. They aren’t hard to fabricate in your current state of mind. You need to make him believe that Tom would never spill any secrets to you, because if this man in front of you,; his entire aura shouting of danger, finds any hint of the secrets stuck in your throat he’s bound to beat them out of you. 

“Now that’s not a very nice thing to do,” Jack says in a low voice, and a smile spreads over his lips. “How would you like some revenge?” 

Fear holds such a hard grip on your heart then that you are sure it’s bound to stop beating altogether. “What do you mean?” you ask, trying to hide your terror.  

Jack smiles even wider, and something like a shiver moves up your spine. “You see,” he starts in his broad brogue, “old Fabien is not a man of many weaknesses. He’s a, well, I guess you can say a friend of mine. I know him well. I know what makes him tick.” He leans forward, resting his arms on his widespread legs, his intense eyes still fixed on yours. “Now I want him to stop ticking.”

Trying to swallow down the panic you answer in a cool voice, “and how could I possibly help with that?” 

“Like I said, Fabien is not a man of many weaknesses. But he’s got a blind spot when it comes to that lad. I’ve heard the rumours; the Devil’s Boy, that’s what they call him, and that’s the way Fabien sees him. I’ve met Tom, on the night you danced with him in my nightclub in fact. And he's brought up by the devil alright,” he pauses, a grim smile on his face. “In order to get to Fabien, I need to get to the boy. And that’s where you come in, miss. See, Tom is Fabien’s weakness, so I’m gonna need you to become Tom’s weakness.” 

“And how do you expect me to achieve that?” you ask, voice shaking slightly despite all your efforts to keep it under control. You feel like you’re trembling all over, like your very soul is rattling inside of you. Nothing seems real, nothing in this nightmarish scenario or in this strange room; nothing except for those bleak, intense eyes looking at you, and that low, gruff voice speaking of betrayal of the worst kind.  

“You’re a pretty little thing, aren’t you? Like a little bird. I’m sure you could convince him to stick around, to open up; to trust you. Then all this little bird needs to do is fly to me and sing her song, and I shall see to the rest, and you will have your revenge.” 

You feel ice-cold all over, as if the blood itself in your veins have frozen. “And what kind of song does the bird sing? What is it that you need to know from me?” 

“For now, I just need you to make him trust you. When the time is right, when everything is ready to be set in motion, I shall tell you the plan. What do you say?”  

You don’t know if he’s honestly offering you a choice or not, if he’d even let you live if you refused him, but slowly you nod your head, and the smile grows bigger on his face, and his cold, blue eyes sparkle.   

 “Good,” he says, and rises from his chair. “Now it’s time for this little bird to be set free.” 

*** 

Your legs feel unsteady and unsure underneath you as you make your way up the familiar steps to your house. You can hear the car that dropped you off drive away, but you don’t look back, you don’t ever want to look back again but it feels like you will spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder after this. You feel heavy all over, every limb slowly moving forward underneath the weight, burdened with a terrible secret.   

Letting yourself in, you quietly make your way through the hall, wanting to avoid seeing anyone since that would mean you’d have to explain your split lip and your sore wrists. The skin of your lip pulses uncomfortably. You must have attained the injury this morning as you got attacked outside of Tom’s apartment. 

With quiet feet you move up the stairs to your bedroom, needing only to change your clothes and leave a message for your father to let him know you will be sleeping at a friend’s house for a night or two. You jot the message down in spidery letters, so unlike your normally neat handwriting; your hands refusing to collaborate with you as they keep shaking. You leave the message on your desk, knowing that Mason will find it later and pass the information on to your father. 

You fill the bathtub with water and scented oil, needing to wash the reminders of today off of you before you are ready to face Tom. Quickly ridding yourself out of your dirty dress, you step into the lukewarm water and start the process of scrubbing your skin clean. After having washed up, you change into another dress, feeling great relief in feeling the freshly washed fabric against your skin.

Looking at yourself in the mirror you cannot help but be taken aback at the sight. You have a split and swollen lip, your hair is a mess and your eyes seem bigger than normal; as if you are a frightened animal. Knowing there is nothing to do about the lip you try to smooth your hair, before giving up, deciding instead to pin it up into something a little more respectable.  

In your new dress and hair, you look a little more put together, though your eyes remain frightened.  

Packing a small bag with some essential clothes and hygiene products you creep out of the bedroom, closing the door quietly behind you. Your father’s voice booms out from the library, as he’s speaking on the telephone with someone. Passing the door on your tiptoes, as not to make a sound, a name caught your attention.  

“Yes, Fabien’s boy.” 

You stop dead in your tracks, listening carefully as your father goes on. “He’s been causing uproar in all the underworld. He set fire to a pub in Camden this afternoon, one of Flanagan’s places, and he’s been involved in a dozen fights all over the East End.”

Your breath hitches, but you force yourself to be quiet as your father keeps talking. “No, apparently he’s looking for some woman. A kidnapping they say.” Your father listens as the voice on the other side of the phone speaks before he keeps going. “Yes, of course, but if this means we have another gang war on our hands there needs to be readjustments. 

You walk away, as quickly and quietly as you can, and step back out into the night. Never have you been in such a hurry to find a taxi in your life.

*** 

After having paid the driver, you rush up to Tom’s apartment, all four stairs, never slowing for a moment. You’re not sure of what you’re about to meet in the apartment but as you push the door open and rush inside you are relieved to see the figure of a man standing there.

Only to soon realise that it is not Tom. 

The man is blond, and about the same age as Tom and dressed much the same in a dark suit. One of his arms is wrapped up in bandages. You recognize him as the man who came to pick Tom up the morning after you spent your first night at his place. A friend then, and not a foe. 

He stands up from the sofa when he sees you, and smiles, seemingly relieved. “Thank fuck,” he mutters, moving closer. Standing in front of you, impressive in his length and stature, he observes your wounded face with a frown. 

“Any other injuries?” He asks, voice collected but underneath his calm stature, you think you can sense a wave of anger. 

You shake your head, unsure of what to say. 

He nods, takes a gentle hand on your arm and leads your numb body to the sofa, gesturing for you to sit down. After you have done so he moves across the floor to the phone, his long legs taking wide strides. Dialing in a number he stands there, leaning against the wall, still observing you as he waits for the number to go through.

“Yeah, Harry? It’s Haz,” he says into the phone. “She’s here.”

There’s a loud voice on the other end of the line but you can’t make out what it is saying. “Yeah, yeah, well you need to let him know then, don’t you? Before he causes any more damage.” More silence as he listens to the other man. “No, apart from a split lip she’s unharmed,” and he looks over you again as he speaks, “she looks pretty fucking shaken though so get a fucking move on, yeah?” He hangs up. 

In your wild haze of suffocating numbness, it strikes you how unlike Tom this Haz is, despite your first confusion. His accent is polished and posh despite his attempts to hide it. His back is almost impossibly straight as he’s holding himself upright and his young face looks taut. You wonder how a young man like this ended up within the ranks of the Firm. 

He crouches down in front of you as you sit on the sofa, his knees bent until you are at eye level.  “Have you had anything to eat?” He asks in a soft voice that takes you with surprise. 

“No,” you mumble, only realizing now that it’s the case. But you’ve been so full of terror the entire day you’ve hardly even noticed. Haz has a frown on his face and a worried look in his eyes as he scans you over. 

“Alright,” he sighs and gets up, moving across the room to the kitchen. You keep your eyes ahead, fixated on faded wallpaper in front of you, as you hear clattering and muttered swears coming from the kitchen. 

Some while later Haz is back, a plate of sandwiches in one hand and a steaming mug of tea in the other. “Sorry,” he says, placing it down on the table in front of you, “fucker hasn’t got any milk.” 

You tell him you don’t mind, and thank him for his kindness, before tucking in. Only after having nearly devoured the first sandwich do you fully realize how hungry you’ve been. Haz sits down on the worn leather armchair, leaned forward and resting his elbows on his thighs, hands clasped in his lap. It is as if he’s ready to jump into action on the first sign of danger. He watches as you eat. 

“Hungry, ey?” He asks with a smile, as you swallow the last of your sandwich, reaching for the tea. 

“Famished,” you confess. 

For a few moments everything is silent in the darkened room, only lit up by the dim light coming from the kitchen. Outside you hear a car drive by. 

“How did he know of the abduction?” You ask in the end. 

Haz’s mouth tightens into a grimace, as if remembering something unpleasant. “The landlady saw as they carried you out to the car. She recognized you as Tom’s girl and let him know as soon as he came back.”

“How did he take it?” you ask, with reluctance. 

Haz looks away from you, avoids your eyes; the frown on his face growing deeper. “Let’s just say the boy’s got a talent for destruction when he puts his mind to it.”

“Where is he now?” 

“Well, last I heard he was,” he pauses, edits himself in the search for the right word, “he was interrogating someone in Hackney, trying to find a lead of where they took you,” he sighs. And then in a bitter tone, he adds, “I would have gone with him,” another sigh, “but out of combat, unfortunately. So I was put to stay here and wait to see if you’d return. Harry was placed in the pub, much to his indignation; ever the boy of action, while Fabien made Sam and a few others go after Tom. To try and reel him in a little.”

A bang, and then Tom comes crashing through the door. Harrison is on his feet, almost before you’ve registered the sound of the door slamming against the wall, gun in hand and aiming at the man in the hall. When he sees who it is he lowers the weapon and breathes out. 

Your eyes remain fixed on the man striding over to you. It’s like he’s unable to look away from you and as soon as you get within an arm's reach he pulls you towards him. With a hand carefully cupping your chin, he inspects your face, eyes glued to your split lip, a deep frown on his face. 

He turns to Harrison, who just nods at him; the taut frown relaxing and a smile pulling at his lips. “Alright, that’s me done for the night.”

“Harry’s sulking at the pub if you feel like cheering him up,” Tom tells him, still holding onto you. 

Harrison moves to the door, snorts loudly, and says in a voice that sounds done for, “You fucking Holland boys and your goddamn sulking.” And then he’s out, the door closing behind him.

Tom rests his forehead against yours, breathing slowly. “Hi,” he says, voice a quiet whisper. His fingers don’t stop stroking your cheek for a second. Then, “I’m so sorry you got dragged into this.” It’s a savage kind of remorse, real like a physical presence in the room. To think that on this very morning you had laid in bed, wordlessly tempting him into staying there with you for a while.

You should have stayed in that bed forever with him.  

“Is it not your fault,” you tell him, knowing that it’s useless, and true enough, he shakes his head at the idea. 

 A deep sigh escapes him, as if he’s letting out a breath he’s been holding for a long time. You breathe him in, the familiar lemon and cedar soap; the faint trace of smoke. 

“Tonight I’m going to take care of you,” he says, stroking your cheek with his long, ring- clad finger, “gonna make sure that you’re alright.” He presses his lips softly against your temple. “And tomorrow,” he continues, voice hardened steel now, “tomorrow I’m going to take care of him.”

 “No,” you say softly, looking at the floor.  

 Dead silence wills the room for several heartbeats. Then, voice bewildered, “What?”

 He’s leaning away from you, though his big hands are still covering your jawline, your throat. “You can’t go after him,” you say, taking a slow breath, staring at his shoes. Slowly you take in Tom’s appearance for the first time. When he had crashed into the apartment all your attention had been on his face, but now, now you see the state of him. The once white dress shirt he wore this morning is stained with blood and dirt and the sleeve on his jacket has a burn mark. 

Tom pushes your face up to meet his eyes. Reluctantly your eyes follow. “And why can’t I do that?” he asks slowly, through gritted teeth. 

“Because I’m working for him now,” you say, forcing yourself to meet his eyes. For a moment he goes completely still and before he can react you keep going. “He is going after Fabien, he wants to bring him down. He thinks you are Fabien’s weakness, so he’s hired me to become your weakness. He wants to use you against Fabien, and use me against you. I told him yes.” 

Tom lets go of you, takes a step away from you, looks at you with big, wounded eyes. “What have you done?” he asks, sounding almost defeated. 

“I could play this to our advantage, we could -” but he interrupts you with a roar.

“Have you lost your fucking mind? You don’t know these men! You don’t understand what they’re capable of. They’d enjoy murdering you if it comes to that. Jack Flanagan’s the sort of man that would kill over an insult, do you have any fucking idea how badly he’d take a betrayal?” 

“Don’t you understand?” I am working for him now, just as the traitor does. I can find out who it is and once we know, Fabian will kill the traitor and once he is gone he can go after Jack with full force. We can play them against each other, don’t you get it?”

Tom is stunned silent for a moment, thinking over what you’ve said with a horrified expression on his face. “Does he know, does Jack know who your father is?”

You are silent for a long time, biting your lip in worry. “I don’t know. But I think so. I didn’t have to leave my name or address and they still knew where to drop me off.”

Tom looks pale. His eyes big and glossy as he looks at you, shoulders tense as he’s holding himself together. “I see,” he says, trying to remain calm, “so the two most dangerous men in London are aware of your relation to your father and are both more than capable at using that as leverage if needed.”

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that,” you whisper.

And he’s in front of you again, holding onto your face, his body pressed tightly against yours, and maybe it’s imagination, but you think you can feel the drumming of his heartbeat underneath his chest; can feel your heart drum back to the beat of his. He’s breathing hard, slowly in and out, and his strong body is rigid, every nerve tense. You know that he’s trying to calm himself down; trying to get a hold of himself and all his fear and anger. Can feel it radiating off his body in waves. 

“I can do this, I can play them against each other.” You don’t know why you are whispering, except that maybe you want to make something in this whole situation gentle, in any way you know how. 

“I don’t like this, angel,” he says, his voice also a whisper, as he breathes slowly through his nose. “I really fucking hate this.”

You know that the road you have begun walking is a dangerous one, no doubt full of menace and doom. But you have chosen your road. “I know,” you whisper back, “but it’s the best shot we’ve got.”

You know, as you stroke his cheek, that you would do anything for him. Because it turns out that you are made up of the kind of never yielding devotion that is bound to end in tragedy, but as you look into his sad, brown eyes, tender as they look at you, you wonder if he isn’t made of the same. 

[wannabemobwife]

Guns, Glamour and Goodfellas - Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Sinking Friendships

Dad!Mob!Tom x Mom!Mob!Reader

-Pairings: Tom Holland x Reader, Rosie Holland x Henry Osterfield

-Warnings: Language, Blood, Car accident, hospital scenes/talk, small talk of religion (sorry it just felt right for the story), angst, fighting, typos

-Words: 5.6K

Author note: Sorry for the shit writing, it was so hard to write the car accident. Tried to make it as medically accurate as possible. Most knowledge derived from Grey’s Anatomy/WebMD. Sorry this chapter is long. Feel free to leave comments or message me directly your feelings while reading the chapter. Every message I've received is so sweet thank you all.

*Anytime 3 dots/ellipses (…) its a sob/breath and a moment of reflection during dialogue.

Chapter 8: Sinking Friendships

Words: 5.6K

Sirens, flashing lights and screams were the only thing Henry remembered. It all happened so fast. One minute Henry and Rosie were laughing together getting lost in each other’s eyes and the next they were both unconscious awaiting their death.

There was no time for Henry to react in anyway. No swerves or movements were made to prevent the impact. A maroon truck had collided Roise’s side, jolting her entire body. Her door was dented beyond belief.

From the forceful impact caused their car skid on the pavement, wearing the paint job away, and crash into the street pole. Henry’s entire body screamed out in pain, his injuries weren’t as bad as Rosie’s though.

“Rosie? Rosie! Rosie!!” Henry called out, desperately wanting to hear her lovely voice. Panic and heartbreak ensued when he saw blood dripping down the side of her head.

Rosie wasn’t moving. How could she be full of life one minute and the next, not? Henry reached over and placed two fingers below her jaw searching for a pulse. He felt he was able to breathe once her felt her few and far between heartbeats, it was faint but it was still there.

“Darling, wake up. Rosie, wake up! Open your eyes for me.”

Henry could feel himself fading by the moment. He used his last breaths to tell the girl he loved he was sorry. Her life was hanging by a thread and in that moment Henry was utterly useless. Praying that she would wake and he would get to hold her again, as everything faded to black.

It had to be about 15 minutes. 15 minutes for an ambulance to arrive. 15 minutes that Henry and Rosie had been unconscious for. 15 minutes of complete stillness, as everyone outside the vehicle panicked. The witness had called 911 multiple times and the other driver was unconscious at his wheel.

After those brutal and possible life ending minutes, help finally arrived. They pulled Henry from the wreck, putting him on a gurney.

“Sir, can you hear me?” called out the paramedic. “Yes. My girlfriend, help her please,” Henry was pleading for his life. How could he be so careless, it was only an accident? “Sir, just lay back. Let us take care of you,” the paramedic uttered, putting her hand on his shoulder to hold him down.

“No. I need to make sure she is okay.”

“Sir, you need to restrain yourself. The other paramedics have got her.”

“ROSIE! Just please let me know if she is okay,” screamed Henry.

“Sedate him please. I’ll go check on the girl,” said the paramedic. Henry faded into a deep sleep a moment later.

“Hey, how’s the girl? Her boyfriend won’t stop asking,” asked the paramedic to the one attending to Rosie. “Unresponsive. She has head trauma and a pulse, thank god,” he murmured. Henry was sent along with Rosie to Kingston Memorial hospital. The hospital was 20 mins away, so much can happen in that time.

Everyone else was sleeping soundly within the walls of the Holland Manor. It started to become a common theme that phone calls in the middle of the night usually meant someone was hurt. This time it was Harrison calling.

“Haz? It’s so late why are you calling?” You asked, jolting awake.

“There’s been an accident and Tom didn’t answer when I called. It’s Rosie and Henry. It sounded bad, Y/N.”

“Oh my god. I’ll see you there,” you responded, barely forming the words as tears started to fall.

“TOM WAKE UP!” you screamed, shaking him awake.

“What?… I’m up. I’m up.”

“There’s been accident.” No more words were said, they just hopped in the car and drove as fast as possible. Tom knuckles grew white clutching around the steering wheel. He couldn’t even begin to fathom a world with his Rosie in it. Harrison was already there, pacing in the waiting room.

“Haz. Where is she?” you said, tears begging to fall.

“I don’t know they won’t tell me anything because I’m not family,” Harrison answered.

“Fuck that, you are our family. How’s Henry?” Tom exclaimed.

“He’s ok. Just a minor concussion and dislocated shoulder, he’s in there right now. They are putting his shoulder back in its socket. He was really lucky but, I am worried about Rosie.” Haz said, just as a doctor dressed in surgical scrubs approached them.

“Are you here for Rosie Holland?” asked the doctor, Tom just nodded in response.

“Mr. and Mrs. Holland, I presume,” continued the doctor

“Yes, that’s us,” Tom replied, clasping your hand in his. He tried to put on a brave face for his wife. You couldn’t both be a mess.

“Ok, Rosie is still in surgery. With extensive injuries like hers we like to keep the family updated as much as possible. Your daughter was the nearest point of impact. She came in with a puncture wound to the abdomen, a severe concussion, massive internal bleeding, many cuts caused by broken glass and severe trauma to her head.”

“Will she be okay?” you asked, accidentally interrupting the doctor.

“Let him finish darling,” Tom said, his grip on her hand tightening.

“It is still too early to know. I have to get back.”

“Alright Doctor, thank you,” Tom acknowledged. You just fell into Tom’s arms, letting all the tears you were holding back fall. You broke into a fit of sobs in his embrace.

“Tom, I don’t want to lose her. I can’t lose her. She’s our baby,” you whimpered, your tears staining his t-shirt

“Shh, darling. She’ll pull through. Remember she is just like her strong mother.”Tom whispered, rubbing a soothing hand over your back.

“Have you gotten in touch with Parker?” Asked Tom as he continued to comfort you.

“No, I’ve been trying. Leaving message after message… Why fuck isn’t he picking up?” yelled Haz. Just then, Henry had walked up, sporting a cloth sling His heart nearly broke as he saw you crying your eyes out buried in Tom’s arms.

“No. No, no, no. Don’t tell me she didn’t make it.” Henry cried as his knees started to buckle at the thought of losing Rosie.

“Henry no, she’s still in surgery. Hey, come here.” Harrison said trying to calm down his son.

“Henry, what the happened?” Tom asked, scared for his daughters life.

“What were you doing with Rosie anyway? It’s late.” Tom questioned again after Henry stood silent, growing louder.

“Hey, Tom. Back off,” Harrison said, standing in front of Tom.

“No. I want to know the reason why my daughter is in there fighting for her god damm life.” Tom screamed. Henry was like a deer caught in headlights. He couldn’t lie his way out of this one. His eyes just shifted between Tom, you and his dad.

“A truck hit Rosie’s side when I was driving, I’m sorry, it was an accident.” Henry cried, barely able to get the words out.

“Son, we know it was an accident. It wasn’t your fault,” Harrison said, comforting Henry.

“Where? Where were you guys?” Tom pestered on.

“Umm, we were on our way back from… from a date. We are dating.” Henry muttered, his eyes glued to the floor.

“What? Y/N did you know about this?” Tom asked, ready to throw hands.

“Yes, Tom,” you murmured, avoiding Tom’s disappointed glare.

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?” Tom screeched.

“And for you. Who the fuck said you could date my daughter?” Tom bellowed, pointing his finger at the poor boy.

“I did kind of give them permission by keeping their secret. In your own time frame though you were supposed to ask Tom,” you muttered, bouncing between Henry and Tom.

“Wait. For how long? For how fucking long?” Tom cursed.

“2 months.” Henry whispered.

“2 months. 2 fucking months. You were lying to me?” Tom screamed, he was livid at you.

“I don’t want you dating her,” Tom growled with an unchanging expression.

“I’m sorry, sir. What?” Henry asked, dumbfounded by Tom’s response.

“Tom, what?” Haz faltered.

“Tom don’t do this, he is a good kid,” you begged.

“Break up with my daughter or there will be hell to pay,” Tom declared and with that he walked away.

“Tom, you can’t do that to them,” you yelled after Tom.

“Really Y/N watch me” Tom said, ignoring his family. His heart had been broken too many times tonight. First when he heard about the accident, another when he had learned of Rosie’s injuries and another when he found out that you had been lying to him. His mind needed to be on one person right now, Rosie.

Tom managed to cool off, but immediately changed the subject anytime you would start to apologize. He didn’t have the energy to focus or listen, all he cared about was Rosie. Parker had showed up 10 mins later, he was off doing god knows what.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Tom yelled, as he saw Parker come through the sliding doors.

“Sorry. I just got your message. Is she okay?” Parker explained.

“We don’t know she is still in surgery,” you whispered, trying to hold back tears.

“What I went out for a bit and shut my phone off. What’s the big deal?” Parker asked.

“The big deal is that I didn’t know where you were. I couldn’t get in touch you. Rosie was in a car accident and I couldn’t call you,” screamed Tom, still angry from the conversation that just perspired

“And Henry?” Parker question, ignoring Tom’s scolding.

“He’s ok. Haz is with him right now, they went to get some coffee,” you informed him.

“Are you okay, mom?” Parker asked, remembering the conversation they had the night before.

“I’ve been better. Just glad you are here,” you said, bringing him into a warm embrace. As they all stood together as a family, Rosie’s doctor came to update them.

“She is out of surgery and stable. Her heart did stop and we were able to resuscitate her, she’s in the ICU now…”

“Can we see her?” Tom asked, interrupting the doctor. A huge weight had just been lifted off his shoulders, his baby girl was going to be okay.

“Yes, but you need to know something. Her brain started to swell in surgery so we had to put her in a medically induced coma to bring down the swelling. We don’t know when she will wake up or if she will at all,” explained the doctor.

All the Hollands stood like statues, unable to process the news. You felt as though you had been punched in the stomach, you wouldn’t be able to handle losing your baby girl.

Minutes, hours and days had melded together. It had been 6 days since the accident and Rosie was still the same, laying unconscious in a hospital bed hooked up to various machines. All of you stayed at the hospital expect for Harrison and Henry. Harrison was running the mob for Tom, for the time being.

You refused to leave her side, spending every waking and sleeping hour right beside her. Seeing your daughter like this was killing you. You weren’t getting any sleep and your hair started thinning.

Rosie looked pale and lifeless, the only thing guaranteeing she was alive was the incessant heart monitor. Her bruises had started to heal, changing from a vibrant purple to an opaque yellow. Everyone prayed she would wake up.

Henry tried to visit everyday but Tom wouldn’t allow it. He was still furious his daughter was dating him and everyone else knew about it except him. Tom’s heart ached for Rosie to wake up and be his funny, sassy, brave girl once again. Tom, however couldn’t stand how the waiting was making you feel.

“Darling. Wake up!” Tom whispered, gently shaking you.

“What? Did something happen? Is Rosie ok?” You exasperated, jolting out of your sleep and trying to catch your breath.

“No, she’s fine. It has just been a while since you had gone home and cleaned up. It might do you some good, baby,” Tom pleaded.

“Tom, I can’t leave her,” you whispered.

“Y/N, it’s ok. Let me take you home and Parker will be here in case anything were to happen,” Tom explained.

You were hesitant at first but eventually agreed, it had been awhile since you had showered or had a decent meal. Living off of the same sweatshirt and hospital cafeteria snacks for the past couple days. All your energy had been put into watching Rosie.

While Tom took you home, Parker was tasked with watching his sister. As kids they were both active and had gotten hurt, only most ever being a broken bone, never a life or death situation. Not only was Rosie Parker’s sister, but she was his twin.

His built in best friend. There had never been a time where he didn’t know her, maybe the first 5 mins of his life, but Rosie soon followed. Sure they fought and argued like all siblings do, but they couldn’t imagine their life without each other. He needed her sarcastic comments and infectious laughter to brighten his day. He needed her warm, slightly awkward hugs and her bitchy attitude once in a while. Parker didn’t know what he’d do without her.

“Rosie, I don’t know if you can hear me but mom is a mess, dad has barely said to word and everyone just needs you to wake up. I need you to wake up…. We all do, especially Henry,” Parker whispered.

“God, he secretly loves you. He hasn’t had the balls to tell you yet, but if that it is what you need to wake up, then do it….Let that be it…. That he loves you, Rosie…. He loves you.”

“I know what it is like to lose someone you love. Charlotte didn’t have a choice, but you do. You can fight and come back to us…. Come back to Henry. He needs you. He calls me every night asking if you had woken up yet. Dad banned him from visiting the hospital. Really fucked that one up didn’t you Roo…. You should’ve told him about you and Henry, but that’s beside the point…. The point is let today or tomorrow or next week be the day I tell him you did…. Just promise me you will wake up ok. I know I don’t say it often but I love you.” Parker got everything he needed to say off his chest. Tears had managed to escape from his eyes as he held her hand. Henry was standing in the doorway, when Parker poured his heart out.

“Hey mate. Mind if I have a minute with my girl?” Henry spoke.

“Not at all. Perfect timing, my parents just left,” Parker said, getting up from his crouched position.

“Yeah, I know. I was parked in the parking lot, waiting for them to leave.”

“How much of that did you hear?”

“Oh, none. None what so ever.”

“So practically all of it?” Parker said in response.

“Yeah,” Henry just nodded along.

“I’ll leave you guys alone,” Parker said as left the room.

Now it was just Henry and Rosie.

Tom had forbidden Henry from seeing her, he hasn’t even gotten to hold her hand. Henry tried to hold back tears as he saw the girl he loved looking half-dead. Her skin had lost its color and her necklace, the one he had given her, was stained with blood sitting in a bag on her bedside.

“Hey Roo. I’ve missed you…. Life hasn’t been the same these past few days. I’ve missed all your good night and good morning texts and your smile.” Henry started.

“Everyone wants you to wake up. They need you to wake up. Can you just open your eyes and flash that smile for me? I need it and I need you…. Rosie,… here it goes,… I love you. I couldn’t stand the thought of you never knowing I love you. So there it is, I love you.”

“I love everything about you…. Your eyes, your laugh, even that weird snort you do. I love you and that has to be enough. It has to be enough for you to wake up and come back to me…. Don’t just do it for me, do it for Parker and your dad and your mom. They have all been losing their minds without you.”

“Rosie, please baby. I love you and that has to be enough,” Henry concluded as tears streaked his face. He moved to press a chaste kiss to her forehead when all of a sudden machines starting going off and beeping left and right.

“Rosie? Rosie stay with me!” Henry didn’t know what was happening. All he knew as that she was still alive and prayed to god he wouldn’t hear her flatlining.

Rosie’s body started to jerk and shake, involuntary. The room filled with nurses and doctors, rolling Rosie on to her side. Her muscles spasming everywhere.

“Sir, you need to leave,” said the nurse, prying Henry away from Rosie.

“No, please let me stay with her,” Henry cried, refusing to avert his eyes from Rosie.

“You need to leave. Let us help her.”

Henry stood crying, peering through the glass doors at the love his life slipping before his very eyes. Her seizure only lasted about 8 minutes but, minutes bleed to hours as tears refused to stop.

“Henry? What happened?” Parker said, running up to Henry crouched on the floor with his knees to his chest and head buried.

“I don’t know. They forced me to leave. Her body started shaking violently, I don’t know what happened,” Henry sniffled, titling his head up. His eyes were beet red and his face was riddled with tears. Parker just stood there dumbfounded. He only left for 10 minutes to get some water. How could so much go wrong in that time.

“Young man, are your parents here,” asked the doctor as everyone came out of Rosie’s room.

“No, they went home to grab some things. Why?… Is she dead?” Parker questioning, pulling at the roots of his hair.

“No, she’s alive, but we can’t share any further information till they get here,” explained the doctor. Parker just nodded in response and Henry was able to breath again, exhaling the breath he was unaware he was holding.

Parker was about to make the call he dreaded. This was the entire reason you refused to leave, in case anything were to happen.

“Parker, what’s up. Is Rosie okay?” Tom said as he answered the Parker’s call.

“Dad, no, you need to get to the hospital. Something happened with Rosie but, they won’t tell me anything,” Parker said, his voice wavering.

“Oh my god, I’ll be right there,” Tom said, hanging up the phone. He had been refusing the chance to break down, he felt as though he had to be strong for everyone else.

“Y/N! Y/N!!” Tom screamed through the house. The one time Tom tries to do something good everything gets screwed up.

“Tom, what?” You exclaimed, startled by his screams

“Something happened with Rosie,” Tom said, a fews tears dripped down his face.

“What? No. No, no, no. I wasn’t there. I’m her mom and I wasn’t there. Why the fuck did you make me leave?” You cried, feeling like a terrible mother. You never should’ve left.

“I’m sorry. Be mad at me later, let’s just go,” Tom said, grabbing his car keys.

Tom’s reckless driving was not the problem at the moment, you just need to be there for Rosie. At the hospital, Tom barely parked properly before they were running through the halls. He came upon Parker in the waiting room, looking disheveled as fuck. His eyes were puffy eyes and hair stood up, he could tell his son was tugging on it in frustration.

Tom needed something to take his mind off Rosie. He needed to punch something or beat someone up or even just take his angry out with words.

“Parker, what happened? Is she okay?” You said, scared for Rosie’s life.

“I don’t know. No one has come out of her room,” Parker explained and you just nodded in response, trying not to cry again.

“Parker, what the fuck is Henry doing in here?” Tom demanded.

“Umm,” Parker mumbled.

“I’m sorry sir, I needed to see her,” Henry said profusely, apologizing

“I don’t care what fuck you needed to do. You are the reason she is dying. You were the one driving,” Tom screamed.

“Tom it was an accident,” you said, trying to reassure yourself in the process.

“Y/N I don’t understand how you can take his side when he almost killed our baby girl.”

“Like, I said it was an accident!” you explained.

“Nurse! Nurse!” Tom yelled.

“Yes, sir. Do you need the doctor?” asked the nurse, worried someone was bleeding.

“No. I want to know who the fuck let this boy in here.” Tom thundered.

“I don’t know sir, I’m so sorry. This won’t happen again,” she explained.

“Tom he can stay. If he is telling the truth about loving Rosie this concerns him as much as it concern us,” you said. This must be killing Henry like it was to you.

“No, he fucking can’t. Now get out, before I have you escorted out of here in a body bag,” Tom threatened.

“Alright, I’ll go. Just please, tell me if she wakes up,” Henry pleaded, slowly walking away. He wasn’t going to go home, he couldn’t. He couldn’t leave, not when Rosie was still in that state.

They all saw the doctor come out of the room and quickly cornered him. A grim expression draped across his face created uneasiness in everyone.

“I’m Y/N Holland, I’m her mother. What happened? I just left for twenty minutes,” you asked, tears streaming down your face as you barged in the room.

“We put her on a ventilator, the seizure was caused by lack of oxygen to her brain,” the doctor said.

“I’m sorry, what? She had a seizure?” Tom said, trying to put the puzzle pieces together.

“Yes. Her brain function has remained unchanged for several days now. In my expert opinion, her outlook isn’t very good. I would prepare yourselves. We can keep her comfortable if you would like or we can arrange her to be moved to a facility where she will possibly heal in the future,” explained the doctor.

“What are you saying? She’s brain dead?” asked Parker chiming in.

“It’s too still early to give a definitive diagnosis, but most likely, yes. I’m sorry for your loss.” The doctor said, exiting the room. You wanted to die right in that moment. A piece of you died the second those words slipped out, you were inconsolable.

“Y/N. Baby, come here,” Tom whispered. Trying to reach out for you, his broken wife.

“Don’t fucking touch me. I should’ve never let you convince me to leave,” you cried.

The guilt was enormous for everything. You were the one who let Rosie and Henry date, without that they would have never been driving together. Never gotten in the accident, you couldn’t help but feel responsible.

It was always the same feeling, you felt walking into Rosie’s hospital room. The feeling of drowning or being burned alive. It’s indescribable. A feeling felt by those who lose their children. You put them on this earth and for them to leave it before you was wrong.

“Rosie, I’m so sorry I left baby. I’m here now and I’m never leaving,” you said, combing your hand through her brown locks.

“But its okay if you need to. It’s okay. I’ll be alright, we all will be…. You can let go…. I love you so much sweetheart, don’t every forget how much mommy loves you…. You can rest now,” you said, moving to Rosie’s side to take her hand in yours. Seeing Rosie like this was tearing you apart from the seems.

It wasn’t long before all tears had put you to sleep. Tom had covered you up with a blanket. You talked to Rosie as though she could hear you. Maybe she could, maybe not but, you definitely wished she could. Tom hadn’t had the chance to break down like you. You needed him to be the strong one, but he was human too.

“Rosie, it’s dad. Everyone besides me has gotten the chance to talk to you, so here it goes,” Tom started.

“I know your mother said that is was ok to leave, but it is not. You hear me. Don’t you dare leave…. Rosie, darling you need to fight. Fight whatever it is that will bring you back to us. You are so much stronger than you lead on baby.”

“I love you so much, please come back to us…. I don’t know if your mother can take losing you. Also that boy you secretly hid from me. Once you wake up you are grounded. I don’t know why you fell for that scruffy looking kid but he needs you, baby. We all do,” Tom concluded. There was no easy fix to this problem. He couldn’t go out and torture somebody or beat them til they broke. Not even money could fix this. He felt completely and utterly useless.Tom reached out to the only thing that could help his daughter, God.

“Hey, god above, I don’t really have a name for you. You are just the one who watches over people, you could be from any religion. I don’t know,” Tom said, clasping his hand together as he spoke to the heavens above.

“I know we don’t talk often and I’m sorry for that and I’m sorry for the despicable acts I’ve committed but I need you help…. My daughter needs your help. She was in a car accident and she hasn’t woken up yet. She’s so young, she has her entire life ahead of her and I want her to experience it all…. I’d really like to walk her down the aisle someday. Can you just bring her back to me? That’s all I ask, just bring her back.”

“Thank you. Shit, I’m believe I’m supposed to say amen and I’m sorry for cursing a second ago. Just remember what we talked about, do this for her not me. God knows I don’t deserve it,” Tom said, ending his plea to the god or gods above.

Tom couldn’t of imagined better timing, with his speech, Rosie’s fingers started to twitch in his hand.

“Y/N wake up?” Tom yelled.

“What, I’m up. Is she ok?” You asked, confused by his outburst.

“Better than ok, her hand moved,” Tom explained.

“Oh my god, really? Parker go get the doctor,” you said, moving towards Rosie.

“Rosie?” Tom said as she started to stir.

“Rosie, baby. I’m here” you said, holding her hand. Rosie eyes fluttered open as she choked on the intubation tube, which gave her oxygen.

“Shh, you’re ok. You were in a car accident with Henry. You’re ok,” you said, softly. The look on Rosie’s face broke your heart. She looked so confused and overwhelmed all you wanted to do was hold her and never let go. Yes, she was a teenager but she will always be your baby girl.

Parker quickly brought the doctor in and he conducted a neurological exam. He removed the tube down her throat, allowing her to breath normally.

“Rosie, you’re awake. Don’t try to talk, it will feel weird for a while. I can get you something for the pain. I’m going to have you do a few tests. Blink once for yes and twice for no, ok?” The doctor explained. Rosie followed his instructions and blinked once. You and Tom were holding each other, praying Rosie didn’t have any brain damage.

“Follow the light for me please. Good. Squeeze my hand. Good grip… These are all amazing signs. Everything looks good. No neurological deficits, but I still would like to get an MRI for her. In the meantime, just rest. It’s going to feel weird as your brain has basically been sleeping for a week,” the doctor concluded, leaving everyone alone to rejoice.

“Mom?” Rosie said, her voice extremely hoarse.

“Yeah, honey. Take it easy,” you said. Words couldn’t describe how you were feeling, you got your daughter back.

“Where’s Henry?” Rosie croaked out.

“He’s ok Rosie, I believe he is outside. Would you like to see him?” You asked, much to Tom’s dismay. Rosie just nodded in response, trying to make everything seem less hazy.

“Rosie,” Henry said with a biggest smile on his face. Nothing could bring this boy down from cloud 9, she was ok. The love of his life was ok.

“Hi,” she said with a half-smile. That’s all she could must her up with her energy.

“Thank god you’re okay. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Henry said, kissing her forehead.

“We will give you two a minute,” you said, pulling Tom and Parker out of the room. Tom was giving you a bunch of harsh glares, he knew what you were doing. However, he too ecstatic that Rosie was awake to be mad at Henry.

“Are you okay? How do you feel?” Henry asked concerned.

“I’m okay. Henry, I have to tell you something,” Rosie responded.

“I love you…. Walking up in the hospital bed just made me realize who cares if it’s too soon or if you don’t feel the same way, I just had to tell you. I love you,” Rosie declared. This was his chance, break her heart and walk away, she didn’t deserve to be here in a hospital bed. Tom was right, Henry knew what he had to do.

“Rosie, I think we should break up,” Henry said, already feeling like he made the biggest mistake of his life.

“What, why? Did I do something wrong? I thought we were happy. Just yesterday you said you were falling in love me. What the fuck happened?” Rosie faltered, confused by everything.

“Rosie, it’s just not working,” Henry exclaimed with the lamest excuse.

“Fine. Leave,” she said, trying to not let tears fall.

“Roo, we can still be friends.”

“Don’t fucking say that to me. You don’t get to call me that anymore,” Rosie screamed.

“Rosie, I’m sorry,” Henry tried to say something else but was cut off.

“Just get the fuck out. I’m serious, FUCKING LEAVE!!” she thundered as he left. Henry felt like literal shit and an asshole and a fucking idiot all at once. He had just broken the heart of the girl he loves. It was never supposed to happen this way.

“Henry? What’s wrong?” You asked as you saw Henry storm through the halls.

“Are you happy Tom? I did it,” Henry barked.

“Glad she’s awake. Y/N you should go in there, she needs you,” Henry exclaimed, before leaving for good this time.

“Tom, we need to talk about Rosie and Henry,” you said, furious at Tom and his decision to break them up.

“He’s gonna fucking break her heart and I won’t allow it,” Tom yelled.

“You can’t keep them apart and you already did that,” you said sternly, you couldn’t believe the nerve on your husband.

“Y/N end of fucking discussion. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. We don’t keep secrets from each other. For fucks sake, how fucking stupid are you? Letting our daughter whore around with that kid, just like you did,” he vociferated.

“Whore around like I did? Really? Why don’t you look in the fucking mirror?” You screamed, zero fucks were given.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Tom barked.

“I know about you and Jazz.”

“What?”

“You went to a hotel and met her there. Tell me I’m wrong,” you interjected. Tom was too furious to explain his actions, he let you believe he cheated on you.

“Your silence answers my question,” you remarked, wanting to break down inside.

“Tom, just so you know you're sleeping on the couch tonight,” you said. You had your answer now. How could Tom do that to you. I didn’t matter in that moment all that mattered was consoling your daughter who Tom broke.

“Real fucking mature Y/N,” Tom yelled, as you walked away.

“Rosie?” You asked, knocking on her door.

“Mom… he broke up with me,” Rosie said as tears fell.

“Oh, baby. I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t know what I did wrong…. I swear to god if he met some other chick while I was in a coma.”

“No, nothing like that,” you said, trying to comfort your daughter. There is nothing like a first heartbreak.

“There has to be a reason. One minute I was in love with a boy who loved me back and now, I’m not.”

“Shh, it's okay,” you said, rubbing you hand down Rosie’s back as you pulled her into your arms. How could Henry actually do that to her and flee the scene like a coward. Parker managed to chase him down in the parking lot.

“What the fuck Henry?” Parker called after him

“I did it because I love her,” Henry exclaimed, continuing to walk away.

“Bullshit,” Parker yelled as he punched Henry square in the jaw.

“Owww.”

“I said, I’d fucking hurt you if you broke her heart.”

“Yeah, I know. It was still a shitty threat, but I deserved that.”

“I don’t understand what happened Henry. One minute you tell me you love her the next you don’t…. I don’t know if I will ever understand but you can’t come by the house for awhile,” Parker pleaded, wanting to know the truth.

“Alright. Just tell her I’m sorry mate.” Henry concluded, feeling like literal shit and an asshole and a fucking idiot all at once. He had just broken the heart of the girl he loves. It was never supposed to happen this way.

Author note: I'm sorry for all those who love Rosie and Henry. Don't be afraid to call me a bitch for breaking your heart, my brother did when he read it. Also Tom is a literal asshole in this chapter.

I really can't wait for you guys to read the next ones, even if you don't ask for it. I will post hints for the next chapter with emojis because it's fun.

Guns, Glamour, Goodfellas Masterlist

Taglist: @thenoddingbunny-blog @adriannauni @dummiesshort @bi-lmg @allthisfortommy

[fanmoose12]

catch me if you can

Сharacters: Hange Zoe, Levi, Erwin Smith, Kenny Ackerman

Genres: Mystery / Romance

Summary: The Ackerman duo. Just the mention of this name filled Hange with so many feelings. Mostly, when she reread the files of their cases over and over, until her eyes watered, she felt pricking annoyance. Sometimes, when she stared at the dead bodies of those scarce unfortunates who stumbled upon their crimes, she was filled with hatred and a pushing need for revenge. Hange couldn’t deny, however, there were times when she marveled at the impudence of their crimes. And, when she was investigating the Ackerman’s cases and saw just how meticulously planned they all were, she couldn’t help but feel something close to fascination.No one knew who they were. No one had seen their faces, no one knew their true names. Almost everyone knew of their crimes.Hange was determined to unravel every last one of their secrets. She will put an end to their crimes and then she will get the elusive Ackermans behind bars.

Chapter 11/?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Сhapter 9

Chapter 10

The gala was so much grander than anything Hange could have ever imagined.

The Reiss manor looked imposing and splendid enough from the outside, but the interior was something else entirely, straight up from a fairytale.

As they walked through the black heavy doors, a magnificent stairwell stood in front of them. The stairs were covered by a red carpet, the railings adorned by flower arrangements and all around them were tall candelabra that bathed the room in a gentle, yellow light.

If that’s how the hallway looked, Hange didn’t know what she should expect from the ballroom.

“We should be more careful,” Ackerman whispered in her ear, startling her. With all that beauty around, she forgot that he was walking by her side. She almost forgot why they came here in the first place. “There is a shit ton of security.”

“Huh?” mouth open wide, Hange turned her head from one side to another, looking around the room. How did she miss the security?

“Four-eyes,” Ackerman hissed, pulling on her hand. “Stop acting like a child in the circus. You’re the inheritor of the biggest hotel chain in the country, remember? Behave accordingly.”

“Right, right,” Hange mumbled, lifting her chin and relaxing her shoulders. While giving her a suit, Ymir also assigned her a role. She had to play it off accordingly. “Do I look arrogant enough now?”

Ackerman’s eyes ran through her entire form, following every inch of her burgundy suit. Hange almost blushed under his gaze. “You’re fine,” he breathed out finally. Dressed in a black three-piece suit and with his hair sleeked back to reveal his face and steely eyes, he looked more than just fine. But… Hange didn’t come here to ogle the man. She had a job, she just had to keep that in mind. “And there,” he leaned closer to her, discreetly pointing out at the men in black suits that stood in every corner of the room, still as stone. “That’s where security is. You would have noticed them have you not gaped like a fish.”

Hange ought to kick him for that. At the very least, she ought to throw some curse at him. But his proximity had her heart racing and his hot breath on her cheek had her skin flashing. It had her remembering the today’s morning, when she had woken up to find Ackerman sleeping on her couch. He looked so damn adorable, his mouth slightly open, his face relaxed and so damn attractive. Hange stood there for a long, long minute, staring at him, peacefully snoring, before she surrendered to her weakness and went back to the bedroom to bring a blanket and drape it over him.

She ran into the bathroom immediately after, in dare need of a long, relaxing shower. As she finished, she walked into the hallway and was met with a strong smell that had her mouth filling with saliva. Cautiously, she travelled to the source of it. That’s where she saw Ackerman, who was now wide awake and standing in her kitchen, cooking breakfast out of what little he could find in her refrigerator and humming some pop song under his breath. The sight was so fucking domestic that Hange had to stop herself from sneaking up on him to hug him from behind.

That urge was so sudden, so absurd, it came out of nowhere.

She blamed the weird, annoying impulse on the hangover that had her head pulsing for hours after she had woken up. It also made her feel nauseous but Hange wasn’t entirely sure if the heavy and uneasy sensation was caused by the alcohol, the events of last night, and, especially an accident with Erwin, or the damn butterflies that fluttered around in her stomach every time hers and Ackerman’s eyes met.

Focus, she scolded herself, moving away from Ackerman. Just a few inches were separating them now, but even that was enough to bring some clarity to her thoughts.

“Everyone here is so fucking rich,” she mumbled more to herself than her companion. “I bet that lady’s dress costs more than my annual income. How did Ymir manage to get tickets to this thing?”

“More scamming on her part, I presume,” Ackerman muttered, his lips sliding downwards in the expression of displease. Oh, right, Hange had almost forgotten about the tender bond Ymir and Ackerman had formed during last evening. “And she made me donate a fucking insane amount of money to some charity fund.”

“You donated… stolen money?”

“Of course, I donated stolen money,” he snapped. “I don’t have any kind of other money. In that regard, I’m not so different from these pigs around us. At least, I don’t try to appear nobler than I am.”

And yet Ackerman was noble, even though he was so adamant at hiding this part of him from the others. He could have left her behind last night, could have escaped to attempt to find his uncle on his own. But he hadn’t left. He hadn’t escaped. He had called Erwin and asked him to take care of her.

Hange still didn’t know what to make of it. Ackerman’s kindness confused and perplexed her. It made her wonder how much of his Levi’s persona was a lie.

Was it a lie, at all?

The sight of a grand ballroom in front of her snapped Hange out of her reverie.

The room was majestic – high golden ceiling, adorned with white, intricate ornaments, tall windows, marble statues that stood by the walls, a giant, glistening chandelier that showered every inch of the room with warm, gentle light. On the other side was a stage, where an orchestra was placed. A dozen musicians prevailed over the chatter of the guests, the violins, piano, cellos and trombones worked as one to enhance the atmosphere of the event with a slow, pleasant melody.

Remembering Ackerman’s advice, Hange paid a more thorough attention, not only admiring her surroundings, but also keeping a close eye on every guest, searching for Frieda Reiss’ youthful and pretty face.

“There she is,” Ackerman pointed his chin at the woman in blue dress that was standing next to a balcony.

“We can’t go there now,” Hange shook her head, taking note of the several men that were conversing with Frieda. A little distance away she also saw a couple of men in black that watched the perimeter. “It’d be best if we attract as little attention as possible. Let’s wait until she is alone.”

“While we’re waiting, we can—”

“No!” Hange grabbed his wrist, pulling Ackerman back to her. “We’re not going to snoop around the house until we talk with Frieda. This will be our last resort.”

If someone would catch them in the act… A shudder ran through her at the mere thought.

In her haste to stop Ackerman, she didn’t think twice about touching him. As she realized that her fingers were still wrapped around his slim wrist, Hange wanted to pull away. But just as she was meaning to let go, Ackerman took a hold of her palm, intertwining their fingers.

“If we continue staring at Frieda like that, we’ll be sticking out like a sore thumb. We have to mix with the crowd.” Hange felt her stomach drop. She was almost certain what his next words would be. And she didn’t like it. “We can go and mingle with the guests…”

And possibly risk exposing themselves and alerting every one of their true intentions in the process.

“Or…” Ackerman had his gaze focused on the center of the room, where a dozen or so couples were spinning around in tact with the music. “How about we take it to the dancefloor, detective?”

Logically, Hange knew that it was a good idea. If they go dancing, they wouldn’t attract much attention and they would be able to discreetly track Frieda’s movements. But from a personal standpoint… she couldn’t imagine a prospect that was more undesirable to her.

She swallowed, accepting her fate. The logical part of her won.

“Let’s do this,” she pulled Ackerman closer, approaching the dancefloor like she was marching to war.

Once they were there, surrounded by laughing, happy couples, she put her hand on the small of his back, her other clasping his palm. His suit was soft under her touch, his warmth radiating through the fabric. His hand was rough and calloused, but his grip was gentle, feather light.

“Be careful”, Erwin had said to her last night, his blue eyes boring into hers with intensity that was so rarely aimed at her, “you’re playing with fire.”

She scoffed at his dramatics last night, but now she could almost feel the flames, licking at her feet. They grew bigger, hotter as she looked into Ackerman’s eyes. They were the color of the stormy sky, dangerous and beautiful. Mesmerizing.

“The music choice is awful,” she complained with feigned discontent, a vain attempt to distract herself from the effect that bastard had on her. “This song is probably older than I am.”

“But it’s pleasant,” Ackerman remarked.

Hange couldn’t protest. The song was pleasant. The musicians were talented too, the trombone, cellos and piano mixed together wonderfully, creating a melancholic and magnificent melody. And dancing with Ackerman, being close enough to feel his body heat, to hear his breathing, to smell his woody cologne… it was pleasant as well.

Turning away from him, Hange forced her attention on the other side of the ballroom, where Frieda was now talking with an elderly couple. Frieda was smiling, brightly and genuinely. Her smile was almost identical to Historia’s. Perhaps, it would help them win Frieda’s favor today.

“It looks like we have to continue dancing,” she spun them around, providing Ackerman with the view of their target. With nothing else to do now, Hange continued talking, hiding her uneasiness behind mindless chatter. “You are a better dancer than I thought.”

“Once Kenny decided to steal a painting from the Opera House. I had to seduce one of the dancers to get the entrance key.”

In spite of herself, Hange chuckled. “Did you succeed?”

“Let’s just say that I was much more efficient at dancing than at seducing,” he said, his lips curling up. “And you? Where do detectives learn how to dance?”

“I was a member of the drama club, remember?”

Judging by Ackerman’s wide eyed look, he not only remembered about the drama club, but he was also surprised that Hange remembered talking about it.

Perhaps… she had disclosed more than she should have. Perhaps, it would have been wiser to play the drunken forgetful fool card. But before she could bath herself in mortification, Ackerman squeezed her hand a little tighter and whirled her around, compelling her to move forward.

“Frieda is alone,” he explained curtly. “We need to hurry.”

___

As it turned out, there was no need for hiding in the plain sight. Frieda was already aware of their presence.

“Hange Zoe,” as they approached, Frieda took a step forward, a sweet smile already on her lips. “My father has spoken highly about you. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Although, I do wonder,” her bright violet eyes glistened in the light, as she slowly looked both of them over. “What is a busy detective doing on my gala?”

“Investigating, of course,” Hange countered easily. “Would you mind answering a few questions?”

She didn’t have her trusty notebook with her, and its absence was felt keenly by her. Without it, Hange didn’t know where to put her hands. Distraughtly, she brought them behind her back, wringing them slightly. Her wrist was discreetly slapped not a second later.

Startled and confused, she threw a brief look at Ackerman. He was staring back at her, ‘don’t act so skittish’, his eyes seemed to tell her. Hange scoffed and kicked his foot. As if she didn’t know that already.

“You can ask your questions,” Frieda replied. “But I fail to see how my answers can help you find that missing girl of yours.”

“Ah, so you’re aware of my case? And Krista Lenz’s disappearance?”

“Perhaps, you’re also aware that Krista isn’t her real name,” Ackerman added.

There was a slight pause, a beat of silence that excited Hange. Did they manage to catch Frieda off guard so easily? But a moment has passed, and her composure returned. Her eyes narrowed, her gaze filling with suspicion, as she stared Ackerman down.

“My father failed to mention that you have a partner, detective Zoe. Didn’t you use to work alone?”

Ha! Hange thought. Frieda had to do a little better than that to keep her on her toes.

“This investigation is complicated, I need all the help I can get. And, Miss Reiss,” she held Frieda’s gaze, slowly curling her lips in a smile. “You haven’t answered our question. Do you know that Krista Lenz isn’t the girl’s actual name? Do you know that her real name is,” Hange paused, sharing with Ackerman a look full of anticipation. “Historia Reiss, which would make her…”

“Your sister,” Ackerman finished.

They’ve got her, Hange could feel it. They’ve laid all of their cards, now they just needed to give a final push and Frieda would crack. She could see those cracks already, appearing on her beautiful face.

Hold on, Historia, I’m coming for you

“If you know something about her disappearance, we’d be happy to—”

“No.” Frieda said, cutting Hange off.

“Huh?” Hange’s thoughts came to an abrupt stop after the sudden interruption. “No as if—”

“No as if I won’t help you. No as if I have no idea what you’re talking. No,” Frieda’s eyes flashed menacingly, as she stepped closer to Hange, “as if I don’t have time for this. No as if leave my house before I call security on you.”

“Wait a minute, I—”

“Hange,” Ackerman had his hand wrapped around her wrist, pulling her away from Frieda. “No means no. Let’s go before we get into trouble.”

Hange let him take her away. She wasn’t ecstatic about their plan B, but she knew now that they had no other choice. If Frieda didn’t want to share the information willingly… they would take the information from her.

“Thank you for your time and enjoy your evening.” She told Frieda, before they disappeared back into the crowd.

___

With her hand securely grasped in his, Ackerman led her forward, effortlessly moving through small groups of people. He kept his head straight and his expression seemed nearly relaxed, but Hange could see the subtle movements of his eyes. He slowly swiped his gaze from one side of the room to another, noting a hundred different things, no doubt.

“You’ve studied the blueprints, right?” he asked in a voice no louder than a breath.

Hange nodded, an image of the map materializing in front of her eyes. If they were in the center of the house, then—

“We need to get to the left wing, Frieda’s room is at the end of the hallway.”

If Ymir’s map was correct. If no one would see them enter another – probably, locked - part of the building. If they wouldn’t get—

“Relax,” Ackerman gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “It will be fine.”

“But what if we will—”

“We won’t.” He calmly promised. “I won’t allow it. I’ll keep us safe, trust me.”

“I trust you,” she said. She didn’t add ‘to keep us safe’. Ackerman seemed to take note of that.

“Did you tell your boss about our plan?”

Did she tell Erwin? Of course, she did not. After a stern talking off she had received last night, she thought it was for the best if she didn’t share the details of their wonderful plan that involved breaking inside Reiss’ manor.

“I forgot to mention it last night.”

“What did—” Hange knew what he wanted to ask. But, perhaps, Ackerman wasn’t ready to hear her answer yet. She could relate with him on that. Hange also hadn’t been ready for everything Erwin had said to her. But she had no other choice. “Never mind, let’s focus on the plan.”

It was hard to do as he said, when Ackerman’s thumb kept brushing her knuckles with enough gentleness to make her weak in knees. Hange wasn’t sure if he was even aware of what he was doing, but her heart noticed, and now it was performing cart-wheels in her ribcage. This whole horseshit with feeling was starting to get really fucking annoying.

Hange yanked her hand out of his grasp with a loud huff. Ignoring Ackerman’s bewildered gaze, she continued moving through the crowd, evading dancing couples and laughing guests. Ackerman was at her heels, following her just a breath away. Even so, with their distance so miniscule, she felt so much better and calmer now.

But not for long. As soon as they approached the entrance, leading to the hallway, Ackerman wrapped his arm around her waist, bringing her flush against him.

“Play along,” he whispered, before walking up to the two guards. “I’m sorry, but where is the bathroom? You see, my date here had a little too much champagne…”

He spoke so smoothly and confidently, going as much as adding a touch of caring to his voice. Hange wouldn’t let him best her at this, she was a member of the drama club for fuck's sake. She leaned heavily against Ackerman, hiding her face in the crook of his neck. Feeling him froze and his heartbeat pick up was the most delightful thing that happened to her the entire evening.

It was good to know that she wasn’t the only one who had her body rebel against her mind.

The guard guided them to a door on the other side of the stairs, and Ackerman thanked him and started dragging her towards it. Hange giggled, when she heard him let out a quiet curse.

“I’m glad you’re having fun,” he hissed, pulling another giggle out of her. Something witty and sarcastic was on the tip of her tongue, when Ackerman added, “I’ll be having my fun later.”

Huh? Before Hange could ask him to elaborate, Ackerman pushed her through the door inside the bathroom.

“Wait!” something very close to dread started to sink in her stomach. “Why are we here? Weren’t we supposed to get inside Frieda’s room?”

“Does Frieda’s room have a balcony?” Ackerman asked, ignoring her question completely.

“According to the blueprints, it does…”

“Can you find it from the outside?”

“I probably could, yes, but…”

“Excellent,” he promptly walked up to the window, opening it. “Then let’s go.”

Before Hange could protest, before she could curse him to hell and back, Ackerman lifted his leg, climbing out of the window. Hange watched him, eyes wide.

“What are you waiting for?” he urged, hanging from the windowsill. “Did you have another way to get inside her room?”

“I imagined it wouldn’t involve me jumping of the windows.”

“Don’t jump, climb out.”

Hange couldn’t fucking believe him. Don’t jump, he said as if it was a completely normal situation. Climb out, as if she knew how to do this shit.

She told Ackerman the very same thing.

“It’s easier that it looks,” he shrugged, still effortlessly hanging of the fucking window. Just how strong the bastard was? “C’mon, four-eyes, we don’t have all night. I can go alone if—”

“No.”

It was her fucking case, her investigation. And if she needed to climb out of the fucking window to finish it, then so be it.

“If I fall, I’m going to blame you,” she warned, as she threw over her leg. “Erwin will have your head for it.”

“You won’t fall,” he said. “I won’t let you.”

Hange looked him in the eyes to see if he was joking. She saw nothing but sincerity.

Fuck.

She threw her other leg over the windowsill, now hanging of it with her legs dangling in the air. She tentatively put them on a thin patch of cobblestone, testing her grounds.

Huh, it wasn’t as difficult as she had expected. The parapet underneath the window was wide for her to stand almost comfortably.

“Good thing Ymir got you a suit and not a dress,” Ackerman said. “Now where to?”

“Move to the left, to the end of the wall. And…”

“Yes?”

“Go slowly, alright? In case—”

“I got you, four-eyes. Don’t worry.”

Somehow, his words actually made her feel more at ease. And as she felt the wind on her face, Hange allowed herself a little grin. It was rather exciting.

Together, they started to move.

Hange never thought she’d be scaling a fucking wall, but here she was. As she tentatively travelled from one windowsill to another, she tried to breathe as quietly and calmly as it was possible. Her arms hurt from the exertion of supporting her weight, her legs were shaking and every time she caught the glimpse of the ground underneath, her excitement faded and her panic grew, closing up her throat and sending her insides flying. What made the whole ordeal just a little more unbearable were Ackerman and the way he easily performed his every move, calm and controlled. Hange would have snapped at him, if she wasn’t so afraid that opening her mouth would send her plummeting to her death.

“You won’t die if you fall down,” Ackerman said, possibly sensing her mental state. Or catching sight of her wide, terrified eyes and trembling hands. “You’ll just break your legs and arms and possibly injure your spine.”

Was it his attempt at giving comfort? He sucked at it.

“Just shut up,” she gritted through her teeth. Thank god this part of the building had no lights on. Hange didn’t even want to think what would have happened if someone saw them. Falling to her death didn’t seem that grave of a prospect compared to it.

Only a couple of windows stood between them and the balcony in Frieda’s room. Hange eternally thanked all the times Mike dragged her out the office and into a gym. Thanks to his insistence, her brain didn’t splatter across the pavement.

Hange released a sigh of pure relief, when she saw Ackerman reach the railing of the balcony and swing his legs over it.

The experience wasn't completely awful, Hange even enjoyed the surge of adrenaline and the wind gushing through her hair, but still... thank fuck, this nightmare was almost over.

But just as she had lifted her hand to touch the metal bar of the railing, her right foot slipped, missing the next cobblestone. She cried out, as her arms flared up, desperately trying to get a hold of something stable enough to support all of her weight. But the railing was still out of her reach, her other leg buckled under her, and Hange felt her heart stop, as she dangled from the wall, holding onto it with one trembling hand.

Her fingers were sliding down, slowly but surely. Hange closed her eyes, preparing for the fall.

But it never came.

Just as she started to descend, her arm was grasped, roughly yanking her upwards. Hange shot her head up, meeting the steel grey eyes. They were opened wide – worried, frightened.

“I’ve got you,” Levi husked, his voice thick with panic. “Hange, I’ve got you.”

He was craning over the railing, his upper body hanging of it. But despite the danger he was facing, he hold onto her tightly, grunting as he started to lift her up.

Hange did her best to assist him, grabbing the metal bar as soon as it was close enough. Even then, when she had it secured with a white-knuckled clasp, Ackerman didn’t let go of her hand.

With the last bit of effort, he got her out, flinging her over the railing and to the balcony marble floor.

Oxygen was able to enter her lungs only after Hange felt the ground beneath her body. Despite the precarious situation, her landing was not painful at all. It was rather soft, and Hange almost marveled at it out loud.

But then she finally made sense of her surroundings. She didn’t fall onto the ground. She fell on Ackerman.

This was starting to become a pattern.

Shocked and overwhelmed, Hange knew only one way to let out her emotions. She started laughing, hiding her face in the crook of his neck.

“Are you alright?” he laid a gentle hand on her shoulder, sounding as shaken as she was feeling.

Still laughing like crazy, Hange gave him a nod, rolling off him. “Sorry,” she mumbled, pushing her sweaty bangs from her face. “I didn’t mean to— well, you know.”

“You didn’t want to paint that lovely patch of ground with your blood? Good to know, four-eyes, I was starting to get worried.”

“Asshole,” despite herself, she snickered again. Jesus, she almost fucking died. But she didn’t, because of Ackerman. “Thank you, by the way. If it weren’t for you—”

“You’d be a mess, and you know how much I hate it,” he said, curling his lips up in a slight smile. It suited him, that smile. Hange almost reached towards him—

Perhaps, she had hit her head after all.

She turned away, getting to her knees. Her legs were still shaking, but she managed to get up. As soon as she was up, Ackerman appeared beside her. He took out the knife that was strapped to his calf and approached the balcony door. It was a tall glass door that consisted of two parts. Naturally, it was closed. Ackerman kneeled before it and with a move so swift Hange almost didn’t catch it, drove the knife in the slit between two parts of the door, moving it upwards until he heard a click. The door was opened in the next moment.

“Ready to find out what Lady Reiss is hiding?”

“As ready as ever,” Hange muttered, following Ackerman inside.

Frieda’s room looked exactly as Hange had expected the room of a rich heiress to look like. It was spacious, with high ceilings and tall windows that were partially covered by heavy green curtains. A large oak desk stood near the entrance to the balcony and next to it was an easel. The easel was enclosed by a white cloth.

Curious, Hange took it off, revealing an unfinished painting. Despite the drawing being nothing more than a rough sketch, that bright smile and big eyes were easily recognizable.

And Frieda had the gall to claim that she didn’t know Historia. Now they had a proof it was a lie. Well, she could continue lying all she wanted. Hange was going to uncover all of her secrets anyway.

“Go over her papers,” Ackerman said, taking a seat at Frieda’s desk. “I’ll see what she has in her computer.”

“What if it’s protected by a password?”

“That’s why I’ll be taking care of it. Unless… you know how to hack into computer?”

“You know how to hack into computer?” Hange asked incredulously.

“I’m a thief that police couldn’t catch for years, remember? A computer is nothing for me.”

Of course, of course, how could Hange forget that Ackerman was also a little cocky shit? However…

“I almost caught you,” she noted, matter-of-factly.

“You tricked us.”

“Traute tricked you. I merely asked her to do it.”

“That still counts as cheating.”

Cheating, Hange rolled her eyes. As if their game had any rules. As if it was a game at all.

“Where is Traute now, by the way?” Ackerman cautiously asked. “Is she…”

“She is alive, if that’s what you’re worried about. And in prison, serving her time. After she found out that your uncle is still free, she was more than happy for the opportunity to hide.”

“Oh, well, I’m glad she is well.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Had she not only failed to apprehend Ackermans but inadvertently caused the death of another person, Hange wouldn’t know what to do with herself after that giant of a fuck up. She wouldn’t know how to continue working after that. She wouldn’t know how to look in the mirror. She—

She shook her head, getting rid of these thoughts. Traute was alive and well, paying for her crimes in the safety of prison walls. She had a more pressing matter on her hands right now.

With moonlight serving as her lamp, Hange shifted through a pile of documents, official letters and sketches, all done by Frieda’s skillful hand. She carefully studied each piece of paper, hoping to find some kind of a clue.

She wasn’t that lucky.

And as she looked through page after meaningless page, her eyes started to wander. To the painting on the wall, to the beautifully decorated wardrobe, to the man sitting next to her – to his face, illuminated by a pale blue light of the computer screen, to his eyes that swiftly moved from side to side, to his mouth that was slightly opened in concentration.

Hange cursed under her breath, averting her gaze before Ackerman could catch her in the act.

“Also I’m not sure if you’re aware,” she began, feigningly detachment. “But leaving stupid notes on the scene of crimes isn’t the best course of action for a thief.”

“What?” he looked up, meeting her eyes.

“The notes,” Hange repeated. “The ones I found after every heist.”

“Ah, that. It was funny.”

“Funny?!”

What the fuck?

“It pissed you off. Watching you run around and curse was hilarious.”

Ackerman had sure enjoyed himself in those moments, if his fond tone of voice was anything to go by. Which made Hange so angry, but also made her wonder…

“Wait, you’ve seen me doing all of that? How?”

Ackerman turned his eyes back to the computer screen. His lips were pressed in a tight line before he mumbled, “Sometimes I stayed behind and watched.”

“You— what? Why? When? How I haven’t noticed?”

“No one notices the janitor.”

Hange stared at him in shock. Perhaps, Ackerman truly had a reason to feel gleeful. How could she not notice him? She should have noticed an attractive janitor, shouldn’t she? But then again, Hange always had a tunnel sort of vision, while she was at work.

“Anyway, that was very shitty of you,” she concluded, returning to the papers. “Mocking me like that…”

“I didn’t mock. I teased.”

“Isn’t that same thing?”

“Not quite.”

Hange scoffed and rolled her eyes. She never knew that banter could be so frustrating. Usually she was the one who infuriated other people. But Ackerman was just as good at the back and forth. A tough opponent, that’s for sure.

“Have you found something?” she asked him, as she put the stack of papers down. She looked at them for long enough to realize that she wouldn’t find anything that might be useful for them in any way. Perhaps, her partner had a better luck.

“There is nothing here but pretentious hipster photos and email exchanges with corporate fuckers.”

Or… he didn’t.

“So…” Hange had another back plan prepared. It was just as illegal as their current one, and even more reckless. But… she had gone that far, stopping now would only squander all of their previous efforts. “Are you good at pickpocketing?”

“What?” Ackerman turned to her, his face incredulous. “Are you saying—”

“There is nothing on her desk, nothing on her computer. We have only one possibility left. We need to look through her phone.”

Something had got to be there, Hange was sure of it. Frieda knew something, had to. How else explain the unfinished painting then? And the familiarity with the case Hange was working on?

“You want me to steal her phone. Huh, you’re growing up, four-eyes.”

Ackerman looked actually impressed. Hange subdued a wave of delight she felt because of it.

“We would need to get close to Frieda again,” he muttered, scratching his chin. “And for that we need to get back to the ballroom and—”

“No scaling the walls anymore.” Hange announced resolutely. It was exciting, yes, but she had her fill of this particular exercise already. She liked her neck and her undamaged bones.

“What do you propose then?”

What indeed…

“I’ll figure something out. Just trust me, alright?”

“I trust you.”

He didn’t hesitate, Ackerman didn’t even think before he spoke. Was he telling the truth then? Did he really trust her, and so readily?

She didn’t know what to think of it.

Perhaps, she shouldn't think about it then.

You had a case you have to focus on, Hange reminded to herself.

"Let's get going then."

They moved everything to the way it was before - put the papers back into the neat piles, closed the door and turned off the computer.

Then they left the room, stepping into a dark hallway. They walked through it carefully, quietly.

Everything was going so well.

Until it wasn't.

They've heard footsteps first. Then, came the voices. And they were growing closer, headed in their direction.

Fuck, they had to do something and fast.

Hange had to do something. But only one thing came to mind. One foolish, stupid thing. It was all Hange had in that fleeting moment.

You’re playing with fire, Erwin had said. Well, Hange was ready to get burned.

___

Shit. That was the first and his only reaction to the newly arisen problem.

Someone was coming their way. Levi could see the light of flashlight just behind the corner.

They had no time to run. They had nowhere to hide. They—

"Play along," Hange hissed, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. Before he could comprehend what the fuck was going on, Hange had him pressed against the wall, her face incredibly close to his.

"It means nothing, Ackerman," she whispered, before she put her lips on his.

His heart stopped, his brain short-circuited. Hange was kissing him. Her hands were fisted in the lapels of his jacket, her lips were moving against his, her tongue slipped inside his mouth.

It was phenomenal. Fantastic, splendid, better than Levi could possibly imagine.

And at the same time, it meant nothing. Hange had said so, and who was he to argue?

It meant nothing, absolutely nothing, so he pulled her closer, put his palm onto her cheek to caress it gently. He allowed himself to linger, kept their lips connected even when the guards arrived.

“Hands up! And turn around!”

"Ah, sorry, sorry!" to Levi’s immense disappointment, Hange took a step back, a bashful grin appearing on her face. "We got carried away a little, that's so embarrassing."

She had laughed, her hand travelling down his chest. To the outside looker, they probably appeared like a madly in love couple. Nothing could be further from the truth but— Levi cherished that fleeting moment nevertheless.

The two guards that had caught them shared a look, full of incomprehension.

"This area is off limits," one of them, the taller one said. "How did you even get in here?"

"My boyfriend wanted to explore a fantasy of his... You know, there is no obstacle that can stop true love."

The expression on the guards' faces, the perfect mix of shock, confusion and disgust, was priceless. Levi could barely keep himself from laughing.

"We can't just let them go," the shorter one mumbled to his partner. "Maybe, we should take them to Miss Reiss?"

"Agreed. Let her take care of these weirdos."

The men stood behind them, pushing them forward. Catching his eye, Hange flashed him a victorious smile. Ah, so everything was going according to her plan. Good to know.

Levi leaned closer to her. "If you ever tire of being a detective," he murmured, "Think of becoming a grifter."

"Is that a compliment? Or a job offer?"

"Could be both," he shrugged and was rewarded by a quiet chuckle.

The guards led them out of the dark empty hallway of the left wing, bringing them to the bright and golden colored stairway.

"Stay here," the shorter guard instructed. "I'll bring Miss Reiss to you."

A couple of minutes later, Frieda came out to them, wearing the same sugary smile. That kind of smile was perfect for her father's campaign posters. Perhaps, that's why she had it refined it to such degree.

Still looking like a fucking fairytale princess, Frieda lifted her hand and let the guards return to their positions. The smile slipped from her face the moment the three of them were left alone.

"I told you to leave," her eyes narrowed, unmasking the anger she felt. Right now, she didn't resemble a sweet, pretty girl that was her sister. Right now, she looked exactly like her father. "Why are you still here? And what were you doing in that hallway?"

"With all due respect," Hange slightly bowed. Levi coughed to hide his snicker. "But I don't exactly kiss and tell."

Frieda seethed, color rising to her cheeks.

"I apologize for my partner," Levi put his hand on her elbow, his fingers blindly searching for his goal. He found it, and fairly quickly. Oh, how he loved dresses with pockets. Phone securely grasped in his fingers, Levi pushed it into the sleeve of his jacket. "And I apologize for our behavior. We didn't mean to cause you any harm."

He moved his hand away from Frieda, putting it inside the pocket of his pants. Once the phone was there, he gave Hange a small nod.

"Yes, it was a mistake that I hope you would forget," Hange gave Frieda a smile - a wide, radiant one.

Frieda scoffed, obviously not impressed. "You entered the private property without my knowledge or consent, I should call police." Levi tensed. That scenario was very, very unwelcome. "But my father spoke very highly of you, detective Zoe. And your Captain, Erwin Smith, is a man of great virtue. It’s because I respect both of them, I'll let you go. Just, for the love of God, leave this time."

"Already on it!" Hange exclaimed, taking Levi by the sleeve of his jacket and dragging him to the exit.

"Fucking hell," she cursed when they were a good distance away. "I thought she'd call Erwin on me. Imagine if that had happened!"

Levi did, albeit briefly. He winced as a very clear image entered his mind. Yesterday's fiasco was scary enough, he could only guess how bad it would be if he actually got Hange into some kind of trouble. Erwin would have torn his head off before Levi could say "It was her plan".

“You got the phone, right?”

“Of course, I’ve got it,” he waited until they were out of the house and fished it out, showing Hange a sparkling yellow phone case.

“Well, open it!” she urged, hovering above him, her hands resting on his shoulders.

Levi activated the screen, and, unsurprisingly, the phone requested a password.

“Do you know how old is she?”

“Twenty-seven?” Hange sounded incredibly unsure. Levi lifted his head to watch her bit her lip in concentration. The same lip he touched with his own not so long ago.

A wrong fucking train of thought, he chastised himself immediately.

“Or twenty-eight? Something like that, I’m pretty sure.”

Levi nodded and entered Frieda’s approximate birth year. It worked on a second try.

Apparently, their girl was a very busy person. She received more than a few dozen phone calls every day. However, there was one number that popped out with more frequency than the others. And usually the calls occurred after office hours.

It could be nothing. Maybe, it was Frieda’s lover. Or best friend. Or someone equally important to her. So important that she hadn’t even bothered to add their name to the phonebook.

It could be nothing. But Levi had a feeling.

Sharing a brief look with Hange, he dialed that number.

The call was answered just a second later.

“Hey, lady, weren’t you the one who told me not to call you? Or is your event for rich fuckers that boring that you decided to ditch them all and bother me?”

Levi froze in one spot, his mouth hanging open.

That voice, he could recognize in anywhere.

That voice, it belonged to Kenny.

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 2)

And we're back with more exciting and mean Natsume! Here we will further explore Natsume's life and how absolutely dark his existence is, as well as some very important aspects of his personality that will be useful to us when NatsuMikan starts picking up speed.

Again, I am warning people that this whole essay in general talks heavily about topics like bullying, child abuse, suicidal ideation, and depression, so if those are triggering topics, it might be better for you to not read.

Previously, we were introduced to Natsume and he has sent Mikan on a dangerous quest to the Northern Woods. During that trip, she and her friends have captured his one and only best friend, Ruka, which will not bode well.

Chapter Five

Chapter Five is instrumental for completing Natsume’s introduction, long as it’s been. Natsume is a mysterious character, and he will continue to be evasive and strange for many chapters to come, but by the end of this chapter, we will understand some basic foundation for his character.

The chapter starts with Ruka’s point of view, recalling a moment when he saw Natsume cry, presumably after a mission. Ruka wonders why it’s only Natsume that has to go through “this”, and Natsume tells him that he can take it--for now. He says he wants to grow up and be an adult, to be big and strong enough to properly escape this hell. This is a consistent wish of Natsume’s, and in many ways his only wish: to grow up already.

Higuchi really out here trying to convince us this was supposed to be a cheerful story.

Natsume had to be an adult, had to make the selfless and responsible choices for the sake of his family and for Ruka, had to abandon play and smiles and laughter for a life of secret missions and frequent hospital trips. He’s dying and he wants to be an adult already because he’s certain he’ll never be able to grow up. He wants his body to match the level of responsibility he’s had to take on, but he can’t force the outside to match the inside, especially when he’ll probably be dead long before it happens anyway. This wish evolves and changes when he falls for Mikan, but it doesn’t go away.

He associates adulthood with control, because his life at the academy has been observing the adults control and use him. He wants control for once, to be able to make a choice and even just say no.

Ruka notes that Natsume hasn’t cried at all since that night, and that he now keeps all his sorrow locked away. This kid needs therapy, immediately. This is another reason that Ruka is so precious to Natsume. Ruka is compassionate and kind, so concerned about his friend that he would also shut away his own heart so that he can’t be happy for as long as Natsume is in agony.

Natsume has a scene of his own, where he snaps at Permy for saying that Mikan is full of crap and lying about being an alice. He points out that the academy is not an easy place to lie your way into, and Permy immediately backtracks and lies that she’s agreed with him this whole time. Like I’d said earlier about the loneliness involved in being surrounded by fans who don’t really know or understand you, having people all around you bend over backwards for your approval makes it clear that they really have no interest in what you’re saying, just that you’re the one saying it.

In the anime essay, I’d pointed out that because of their admiration for him, it would elude people that Natsume is in fact lonely. He speaks out against things and people rush to agree, not really considering why he might say that. This is a similar moment, though he doesn’t seem too bothered by Permy’s behavior. It’s still concerning, but it’s interesting to compare this “yes, man” attitude to Ruka’s.

There is obviously a difference between someone agreeing with every word of your mouth no matter how much it changes and contradicts, bending over backwards for your approval, and someone wanting to match you out of compassion, but Ruka’s line of thinking does still have some major flaws.

Ruka is a child, just like the rest of them, so even though this behavior is motivated by love and compassion, it’s still immature and raises some questions.

“If you won’t smile, I won’t smile either,” is a sweet line, but now Natsume is aware that Ruka’s misery is his fault. If he wasn’t so sad, Ruka could be happy. This doesn’t make Natsume happy; it just makes them both sad, and that doesn’t solve any problems. Naturally, Natsume would never say that, and Ruka would claim he’s unbothered and--just like Natsume--that he doesn’t care about hanging out with the others, but they’re both miserable now, and I think this is part of the reason why there’s a gap between them at the start of the manga, and why they’re a bit distant, despite being best friends.

They’re each other’s most important person, but they don’t really communicate that well, and Ruka constantly feels like a burden.

Natsume needs something that Ruka can’t give him, and that something is what he’ll eventually get from Mikan.

That being said, at the moment, Natsume is getting nothing but irritation from Mikan. When he finds out Mikan and her gang kidnapped Ruka, that irritation turns into rage and we see a final fundamental building block for Natsume’s character: his berserk button.

Natsume doesn’t care about the reasoning or justification for the kidnapping. He doesn’t care about explanations or common sense.

His rage only increases when he discovers Ruka was tied up and even beaten (he is told this by a classmate, when Ruka is actually unharmed). The other kids in Class B--his admirers--are terrified to see how scary Natsume is when he’s furious.

Natsume's biggest weakness is Ruka so Mikan is kinda fucked.

He doesn’t care about the game anymore. He only cares about Ruka.

So he goes to the Northern Woods, where nobody is expecting him. He tells Mikan to leave the school, which… she cannot do, obviously. He is overtaken by rage and he ceases to be reasonable.

He uses his alice on everyone but Ruka, and is about to use it on Mikan, but her alice nullifies it. Then Narumi kisses him, prompting him to pass out.

Here, we are introduced to a consistent character trait of Natsume’s, one that may contradict all that talk about forced maturity and selflessness. In fact, Natsume’s habit to go absolutely postal on anyone who threatens a loved one is a contradictory one. Going into a rage requires the sacrifice of common sense and reason for the sake of complete emotional detonation, and as a result he fails to understand that his actions could inadvertently hurt his loved ones or innocent bystanders. No reassuring words are enough to calm him down, and sure enough Natsume will destroy something.

It’s important that we see this trait now, as part of Natsume’s informal introduction, as we will see plenty more instances of it later on. In a way, going berserk for someone can even be a love language of his, where if a person being threatened is enough to set him off, he probably cares about them.

And just as interesting as seeing what he does in these situations is posing the why! Why is it that Natsume goes ballistic in these situations, when it requires the loss of the one thing he wishes he had more of, control? My guess is that Natsume has had a rough childhood and much of that time was spent running away from a dangerous entity. Staying cool and calculated under some conditions would have its benefits, but so would the quick-action and confidence that Natsume would gain by going berserk. When you have to protect someone, and Natsume has been in that situation many times, then it’s sometimes even beneficial to be able to lose yourself for a moment or two. But perhaps it’s not that either. Natsume is, despite all his airs of coldness and mystery, actually a very emotional person, and in that way he is easy to understand. Even if this isn’t a habit he developed by watching his loved ones ripped away from him through either extortion, manipulation, or just plain murder, it’s still something he might be predisposed to: attacking with everything he has despite not having a clear plan or even any real thought.

Chapter Six

We pick up where we left off and Natsume wakes up grumpy after everyone seeing him under the effects of Narumi’s pheromone alice. He causes more destruction, still in somewhat of a rage, and even causes Narumi a head wound though his teacher seems unbothered by this (or maybe even used to it, who can say).

The next thing that happens is that an alarm rings, signaling that Natsume is due for severe punishment, and, as Naru points out, not something he can help with this time. Narumi warns him to get a move on before a mystery enemy (Persona) arrives, and that is enough to scare Natsume into getting out of there. But not before he issues a word of warning of his own to Mikan, that she will regret coming to Alice Academy of her own free will.

Isn't it interesting how her optimism, something he hated so much about her from the start, ends up being something he loves about her?

I have very many thoughts about this warning. It might even seem like a threat, as if Natsume will go out of his way to make sure she regrets her decision, but he does no such thing. He is convinced that Mikan doesn’t need help reaching that conclusion--she will realize it on her own because the school is simply that terrible.

It makes a little bit of sense to view Natsume’s hatred of Mikan this way: Mikan skipped right into his own personal hell with a smile on her face and a bubbly attitude. Meanwhile, he fought and kicked and screamed right until the very end when he was forced into attending the academy. And Mikan is not some normal girl who might be able to live a quiet and pleasant life in the academy. She’s already been marked, what with all the games about her enrollment, and that might anger Natsume even more: she’s really naive enough to walk into a place that’s not just hell to him, but inevitably to her too. Because of this, Natsume hates her and is predisposed to hate her more the more cheerful and optimistic she is.

And, unlike in the anime, this hatred takes much longer to go away.

Anyway, we see Natsume again later in class, when he shows up late after having just been terribly abused as punishment for his actions in the Northern Woods.

In the anime, Natsume catches Mikan insulting him while wearing the punishment mask, and although he’s covered in scratches and the kids are whispering about his bad mood, there’s not much else to it. He doesn’t seem any more unpleasant than he’s been this whole time.

There's nothing funny about this but I will put here as a warning that anybody who jokes that kids should be hit will be hit by me!

In the manga, Natsume is so weak that he can hardly stand. It’s not just scratches, but blood and gashes on his wrists and legs. The mask is not only used to mark him, it’s also used to punish, by physically abusing him when Persona has better things to do.

He makes his way to his seat, but Narumi is on the way, just enough to make a quippy comment.

(I wonder sometimes about Narumi establishing himself as untrustworthy to the children, particularly Natsume, and how exactly that’s supposed to be a help to the student body at large. I mean there’s the possibility that Mikan is special, and her being Yuka’s daughter helped Narumi remember what he became a teacher for. In that case, it might make sense that Narumi, being so jaded and bitter, might be content acting as a villain to the abused children of the academy, and especially to Natsume, but I can’t help but feel that’s not the case. I don’t want to think that Narumi was willingly complicit and even amused by Natsume’s abuse. It’s difficult to tell for sure, though, because Narumi is way more mysterious than Natsume tries to be.)

Sumire tries to kiss up, whining to Natsume about how everyone is suddenly acting so nice to the new girl, until Natsume forcefully kicks her desk to shut her up. He only holds back with Ruka, who he would never lash out at.

Narumi then announces that Mikan shall have a partner, and that her partner will be Natsume. It’s funny because although Hotaru made it clear she didn’t want the job, Iinchou was willing to volunteer, but Narumi ignores that because he always wanted Natsume to be her partner. At this news, everyone is shocked, wondering if Mikan is supposed to be special, seeing as she’s paired up with Natsume of all people.

Narumi smiles to himself despite the chaos and then lets himself leave the classroom, saying, “let’s see what happens.”

Why does he partner them up?

Mikan thinks Narumi is crazy for this, and from an outside perspective it certainly might seem that way.

Natsume’s theory, as becomes clear later during the exams, is that this was organized by the ESP and Persona, perhaps as a punishment, but definitely with ulterior motives. He is closer to nailing it, but a little off. There is no way in hell the ESP would want to partner the child of rabble-rousers with the school’s pet child soldier. That’s a recipe for disaster. Knowing that the ESP was excited to welcome Mikan because of her alice, and that her presence at the school might encourage Yuka to try and save her, he wouldn’t have wanted to disturb his own plans.

So what is the reason?

It’s all Narumi, of course. Perhaps the O.G. shipper, Narumi could tell right away that Mikan’s nullification would be useful, particularly in regards to Natsume. Pairing them up is just another means to an end, as Narumi actually wants the kids to raise some trouble.

Chapter Seven

Being partners with Natsume is quite unhelpful.

Mikan ends up a No-Star and her Special-Star partner is for the most part absent throughout her ordeals, having to cope with it all on her own.

Chapter Seven is mainly lacking Natsume. He functions to not function for most of it, that is to establish himself as being a terrible partner.

There is a moment that stands out, when Mikan is writing a letter to her grandpa, where Natsume appears. Yes, he appears in her head to taunt her about her regret coming to the school, and she spites him by committing to optimism and determination in the future. But he also has a short appearance paralleling a panel of Mikan: they are both in their beds, awake.

WHAT WAS THE REASON?????!??!?!?

This parallel is interesting, their panels right next to each other. She is thinking about her grandpa, and we have no way of knowing what Natsume is thinking about, but there has to be a reason for him to appear despite having been mostly absent so far in the chapter.

To me, it’s another narrative tool to pair them together. They have been so far, in more ways than one, and will continue to be as they fall in love, and this is just another example of how they’d been fated from the start. Even when they hate each other, and even when they aren’t thinking of each other, they’re still tied. Looking at those panels, and seeing Natsume despite his relative irrelevance to the plot, seems to be a message that there’s more to come between them. I don’t know if any of what I’m saying makes sense, or if it seems silly, but there’s very little analysis I can do without just talking about potential.

Later, with Mikan in a new mood, ready to make the most of her situation, the kids are talking about her resilience with both her no-star status and having Natsume as a partner.

Ruka does the talking for Natsume, warning Mikan that she’s being watched and remarking that nobody should have been assigned a no-star for simply disturbing class.

Once again, Mikan and Natsume are paired: they are both treated unfairly, with Mikan given a no-star status she doesn’t deserve, and Natsume given a special-star status despite the fact that he doesn’t even go to class most of the time. They’re the exceptions to the rule, and the reader is made to wonder what exactly it is that they have in common that would result in this treatment.

Ruka tells Mikan not to trust any teachers at the academy, not even Naru, and this is almost like hearing from Natsume himself. Unlike Mikan, who will happily make strong bonds with teachers like Narumi and Nodacchi, Natsume has absolutely no positive adult figures in his life. His father is far away, his mother is dead, and every teacher is someone he holds either directly or indirectly responsible for his suffering. The adults at the school have failed him and he has nobody to trust. Something Natsume needs is a positive role model, somebody he can look up to and have faith in, because as it stands he’s a traumatized boy who absorbs negativity and takes it out in bad ways. A trustworthy adult would very much help Natsume grow and learn better coping skills, and in the meantime it makes perfect sense that he would act out and even be a bully at times.

Chapter Eight

Natsume has a habit of ignoring any and all episodes where Mikan has confrontations with her teachers. He is either dozing off or listening to music with Ruka, and doesn’t seem particularly interested in even watching.

That being said, we see a new side to Natsume in this chapter, a new emotion in a way we haven’t before: fear.

Natsume ditches class with regularity. He does not care about being present. For most classes, he would simply walk out and go screw around somewhere else, but with the dangerous ability class, he doesn’t have that choice.

The other teachers may be complicit, but they won’t do the abuse themselves. Persona is not above that, as we have already noticed despite never even seeing him so far.

If Natsume does not want to attend the dangerous ability class, then he has to run for it, and in this chapter he does, like his life depends on it, because his safety sure does. He’s only ten years old and forced to do horrible missions for the school. This is one of the scenes that reminds me that he is just a child. He knows he could get punished for running, but he does it anyway. Maybe, if he runs fast enough, they won’t catch him. Maybe, if he doesn’t get caught, he doesn’t have to go on a mission. Maybe, just this once, they won’t mind if he doesn’t show. It’s such a childish and desperate thing to do, to avoid pain at the cost of more pain to come.

Natsume is scary when he's scared...

It’s funny that as he is running from pain, he runs into Mikan, who will later alleviate his pain. For now, he just shuts her up so that Persona can pass the area while looking for him. We see Persona for the first time, what Natsume is scared of more than anything, and although his fear seems obvious, Mikan is preoccupied by annoyance for being shut up like that.

They bicker--or she bickers at him, mostly--until the middle schoolers encounter them and start bullying them.

Natsume is ready to ignore them and walk away, until Sumire’s brother calls him a murderer, reminding us of the rumor Hotaru and Iinchou discussed. Natsume stops, and Sumire’s brother whines that he’s just a special star because he’s “Persona’s favorite”.

Sumire and her brother have, like, nothing in common other than curly hair, huh.

Being Persona’s favorite is no privilege, as we know now from the run-in we just had with him and Natsume’s fear. This sets Natsume off and he starts some fires. When they threaten to call Persona, who Natsume was just running from, he responds that they can call him all they want, but he’ll burn them before he can get there to capture him. We see once again, through Natsume standing up for himself, that his berserk button lacks reason (as he is willing to sacrifice punishment by Persona again).

In a last-ditch attempt to threaten him, the middle schoolers threaten Mikan, who they perceive to be Natsume’s new girlfriend. (Calling her his girlfriend is interesting because it is even more proof that they are being narratively paired together! It shouldn’t be a surprise at all that they eventually get together, when almost everybody around them pairs them up like this, even when they can’t stand each other.) They do not expect that Natsume actually hates her, and genuinely doesn’t care if she gets bullied or not. He smiles in twisted amusement at this turn of events and walks away for good this time, leaving Mikan to be bullied.

Aw, he's smiling! How sweet.... oh wait that's a skull.

Now, Natsume is a good person deep inside, somebody who is selfless and kind in secret ways. There is no secret kindness about this scene. He is not a nice person, for sure, and this scene is proof of it.

Natsume is used to sacrificing himself for the comfort and well-being of his loved ones, so there might be relief in not caring about the comfort or well-being of somebody, and being able to choose his own well-being before that of somebody else for once. It makes sense that he would be so amused, because this time nobody has anything to hold over his head.

Conclusion

We have seen some more of the abuse Natsume faces on a daily basis. He and Mikan have been partnered up and they are presented narratively as foils and as pairs even outside of that dynamic.

For the next part, we'll see even more examples of them being paired together, as well as how Natsume is isolated from his classmates.

<- Previous Next ->

[wireddless]

Codeine Scene (Five H. x Reader) [3]

Codeine Scene Masterlist

Authors Note: First off, I am SO sorry. New Years is always a slow time for me, and I did not mean to take this long to publish. Second of all, this chapter is a transition chapter into a much more fucked up story. I’m warning you now that the rest of this fic will get really really dark. I don’t recommend reading after this chapter if you can’t handle depictions of r*pe, murder, heavy drug use (cocaine, etc,) and other disturbing topics . I’m basing this story off of personal experiences, and in no way do I want someone who isn’t ready to read something like this to read this. This is like the last safe chapter, please do not read after this if you can’t handle the topics mentioned above

Summary: Klaus moves Reader up to Ben’s old room early in the morning. Afterwards, they eat breakfast and decide to trip on acid together. Five learns more about her than he expected to today

Warnings: Drug use (LSD[acid],) mentions of suicide, mentions of sex

Word Count: 3777

Taglist: @alexander-hamilhoe @dumdumsun

The gentle shaking of (Y/n)’s shoulder pulled her from her sleep. Klaus stood over her, harshly whispering her name. Looking towards his window, she could see the sky was just barely starting to light up, it was still early. 

“Klaus it’s like 7:30!” She quickly grabbed the sheet that was covering her from the waist down and yanked it over her head. A small groan left Klaus’s mouth and he yanked it back off of her. “It’s Sunday!” She tried convincing him to let her sleep in, but it was no use. 

“I talked to Ben and he said you could stay in his room!” Klaus wrestled with (Y/n) over the blanket, knowing she was still tired. Ever the impatient man he was, Klaus spoke again, “We gotta get you settled in right now!” 

“Fine! Fine. I’m up.” (Y/n) sat up and shoved her matted hair out of her face.  “Why right now?” Klaus looked at her like the answer was obvious. It wasn’t, of course. 

“Because trauma can be associated with places! Coming in here right after what happened yesterday could be an issue.” He grabbed a hair brush off of his dresser and pushed her to sit on the bed. Climbing behind her, he started to brush her hair. “Even if you aren’t reminded of it in here, it’s always good to be able to have some privacy.” He made valid points. 

“I guess you're right.” Klaus was extraordinarily gentle with her hair, pulling out all of the mats and even putting in the effort to put it in a low ponytail to keep it out of her face.  “Thank you.” (Y/n) turned and smiled at Klaus, pulling him into a quick, tight, hug. 

Ben's room was up the green stairway, across from Five’s room. (Y/n)’s face scrunched a little when she realized Five would be right across the hallway, but she didn’t complain. Her arms were a little tired from carrying her suitcase and heavier back pack up the stairs so early in the morning, but it would fade rather quickly.

Klaus opened the door and stepped aside, letting (Y/n) rush to the bed with her heavy luggage. “Dad replaced everything in this room a week after Ben died.” Klaus sat on the bed next to her luggage, and she plopped next to him. “He said old reminders would only set us back, so he made this one of many guest rooms.” Klaus peered in the closet, knowing that Ben’s academy uniforms were no longer hanging pristinely on the rack. 

“He didn’t die in here, did he?” (Y/n) turned to look at Klaus, feeling heavy sympathy. 

“Oh no! A mission went wrong, and I suppose we all messed up, but the monster inside his chest started tearing him apart.” Klaus’s usual, very happy energy, was replaced by a solemn, cold one. “He died in the infirmary.” Klaus looked down at the bedsheets. They weren’t the one that Ben had used. “I still talk to him every day, but it still makes me a little sad.” Klaus sniffled and rubbed his eyes. 

(Y/n) pulled Klaus into a bone crushing hug, knowing he needed the comfort. “That’s terrible.” She was a very empathetic person, relying more on feeling than thinking, so she was struggling to hold back her own tears. “Are you sure he’s ok with this?” 

“Yeah! He said something about moving on, and finally attempting to find peace.” Klaus clapped his hands once as he stood. “He’s kind of started meditating too, which is kind of weird, because he’s a ghost and all.” He stood and glanced around the room, getting a good look at it before (Y/n) would make it her own. “Let’s go get some breakfast after we unpack, huh?” 

“That sounds nice.” (Y/n) stood and hugged Klaus again, silently letting him know that she was there for him. 

The walk all the way down to the basement kitchen was unexpectedly exhausting. Six flights of stairs later, two flights between every floor, they were sitting at the table, staring at Five scrape his eggs off the skillet and onto his toast. 

“I’m not making eggs for you two.” His voice was monotone and annoyed. He wasn’t a morning person. “Take some responsibility and make them yourself.” Five grabbed his food and coffee, and looked at both of them before giving his usual tight-lipped smirk and blipping away, presumably to his room. 

Klaus released a few small giggles he was holding in and hopped off the island. “He always seems to add a little spice to life.”

As he was making his way over to the fridge to grab some eggs, (Y/n) asked; “Is he like this every morning?” Not wasting a second after her question, Klaus replied. 

“Yep!” He pulled out four eggs and set them in a clean bowl on the counter. “Without a doubt. It’s worse on weekdays too, because the classes he teaches are all early in the morning. Now do you want scrambled, fried, or boiled?” 

“Scrambled, please.” As Klaus got to work on making breakfast for the two of them, she thought about what Five might teach. “Hey Klaus?” 

“Yeah?” Klaus was stirring the already scrambled eggs in the skillet. 

“What does Five teach? I mean it makes sense that he’s a teacher, but I just can’t think of what he’d be so willing to teach for a living.” Klaus looked back at (Y/n) before down at the eggs again. Her chin was resting in her hands, and she stared over at him, waiting for his answer. 

“I think some sort of ethics class, like there’s different types of ethics, but that’s all I really know. He doesn’t really talk about work, and it’s a bit weird considering he was an assassin.” Klaus split the scrambled eggs in two separate bowls with forks in them and gave one to (Y/n). 

“He killed people?” (Y/n) dug into the eggs, shoving them in her mouth, listening for Klaus. 

“We’ve all dabbled with a little murder before, it’s not really that big of a deal for us, but he swore never to kill for someone else again, I’m pretty sure.” Klaus fillet out a little moan of joy as he started filling his own stomach with the eggs. 

“That must be why he was so unphased about what happened yesterday, that makes me feel a lot better.” She concluded, trying not to remember the way she nearly beat the life out of the man in Five’s car as she shoved more of Klaus’s eggs in her mouth. “These are really good!” 

“Danke!” Klaus thanked her in German, with a mouth full of eggs. He swallowed them and continued speaking. “That actually reminds me- you’ve done acid right?” (Y/n) thought on the question for a moment before answering. 

“No actually, but I did do shrooms a lot with my friends before I dropped out.” Her fork scraped the bowl, trying to get the last of the eggs. 

“Good! You have experience.” Klaus poured the last of his eggs in his mouth, straight from the bowl, before swallowing. “Would you like to do acid with me? You don’t have to, but I feel like this would definitely raise your spirits.” Klaus leaned toward her, waiting for her answer. 

“I’d love to actually.” (Y/n) swallowed the last of her eggs, and stacked her bowl with Klaus’s, before taking them to the sink to wash them. Klaus stood and followed her, digging in the breast pocket of his half-unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt and pulling out a small square of folded tin foil. 

“Great! Now stick your tongue out.” Klaus unfolded the foil and pulled a tiny white square of paper, roughly the size of a phone keyboard key, out from the six-ish others in it. (Y/n) stuck her tongue out as she rinsed the now-clean bowls and Klaus placed the piece of paper on it, before sticking one on his own tongue.

(Y/n) stuck her tongue back in her mouth and sucked a bit on the paper. “So do I swallow it, or…?” The tab didn’t make it any harder to talk, thank god. 

“If you want to, but you absorb it faster when it’s in your mouth.” Klaus picked up the bowls and started drying them. “It’s not bitter at all is it?” Klaus asked, checking to make sure she didn’t take a laced tab.

(Y/n) focused on the tab again, not really noticing any taste. “Not that I can notice.” Klaus smiled as he shut the cabinet where he placed the bowls. 

“That means we’re all good! You can swallow it when the paper feels soggy enough, though, you’ve probably absorbed most of it by now.” Klaus led her back upstairs to his room, practically dragging her by her wrist. “Things are gonna get really funny for a little bit before you actually start tripping.” Klaus shut the door behind them and plopped on his bed. 

“Doesn’t it take like an hour to kick in?” This wasn’t her first rodeo, so she knew her way around at least a bit. 

“Yeah yeah, it’s kinda like shrooms? But the visuals and the trip are just a bit different, you’ll see what I mean.” Klaus grabbed a joint he had rolled earlier and lit up, taking a few puffs before passing it to (Y/n). “Just settle in for like half an hour and then get up to see how you feel.” 

•••

Tripping on LSD was a profound experience. (Y/n) wasn’t able to go outside, as it was raining cold, so she stayed inside, wandering around the house. She and Klaus made some really cool art, and Klaus held it over the vents to dry while she was walking around the house. 

Tripping felt like seeing the universe fully for the first time, and she could somewhat understand Klaus’s view of the world. Many times throughout the last three hours, she thought she saw Five blipping away out of the corner of her eye. She had dismissed it every time, of course.

Now the trip was peaking, and the visuals were insane. The air around (Y/n) felt like breathable, transparent, clay, and it was a little overwhelming with all the visuals, so she opened the door in front of her and quietly sat next to it, letting out a long, happy sigh. Closing her eyes, she paid attention to the gorgeous visuals she could see behind her eyelids. 

(Y/n) didn’t even notice Five sitting on his bed, staring at her from over his book. She was too focused on the movement behind her eyelids, and the euphoric feeling surrounding her, so when Five spoke, she nearly jumped out of her skin.

“I think you have the wrong room.” The sound of Five closing his book reached her ears. 

“Oh my god I’m so sorry, I- I wasn’t paying attention I’ll leave.” (Y/n) stumbled over her words as she tried to stand, clearly embarrassed.

“No, no, it’s fine actually.” Five spoke, rather out of character. “A little company once in a while feels nice, and I see no harm when you’re being quiet.” His face was beyond distorted, but she could still recognize his permanent scowl. 

“Really?” (Y/n) settled back down, more relaxed and at ease. 

“Yeah, I don’t really care.” Five grabbed his book again, opening it back to where he was. “Just don’t be too annoying.”  

“I won’t don’t worry.” Five grunted quietly at her response. A smile painted itself on her face, and she slid all the way down the wall, with her head now on the floor with the rest of her. 

•••

And she was quiet. Five watched for like an hour and a half as her eyes slowly focused on something new in his room every few moments. She was quite taken by the math equations across his wall, and he found it rather cute. He started to find her less annoying, now understanding that she coped the way his brother did. 

He was alone once again in his room now, no longer accompanied by (Y/n). In fact, she was accompanied by one of her “friends.” She barely even knew the guy. 

Five could hear everything. Every moan. Every word spoken with the intent of being quiet, but wasn’t held under the gentle guise of a whisper. It infuriated him. 

Of course, he understood that she didn’t grow up in a particularly healthy home, given that she was in a homeless shelter at almost 18, so she didn’t understand healthy coping habits. It genuinely hurt his heart, if just a little bit, that he could watch another hurt soul walk down the same path as his brother. 

Klaus had gotten help for his addictions, and was off addictive drugs completely, but even Five understood that not everyone will be able to get the help they need. He wouldn’t say he had any feelings for her, but he still felt sympathy. 

Knowing that it was how she coped made hearing all of it a little easier, but he still wasn’t able to handle it after hearing it for fifteen minutes, so he jumped down to the kitchen, brewed himself some herbal tea, added a little vodka, and read his book, criss cross, on the table in the center of the room, attempting to ignore what was happening right across from his room. 

•••

Bailey had just left, and (Y/n) was exhausted. He was kind of an ass, and he treated her like shit in middle school, but he was a horny teen, and it was really easy to just invite him over.

The trip was fading out now. She was no longer peaking, and the visuals were far less intense. (Y/n), after standing at the stairs, staring at them for a couple minutes, deemed it safe to be able to walk down them. She knew it was normally safe to go down the steps while tripping, but something in her head told her to wait, so she did. 

These particular steps were a little steep, as well, so she made her way down slowly, leading herself to the kitchen in the basement. Her bare feet padded quietly on the floor as she walked to the stove, turning the heating element under the tea kettle on. The bags under her eyes felt so beyond heavy, and she knew she’d be sleeping deeply tonight. 

“You done up there?” Five’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts. (Y/n) turned and leaned on the counter to face him. 

“Yeah, yeah, he left like ten minutes ago. I’m just really tired and want some tea to relax I guess.” Her arms were crossed, comfortably holding each other up. 

Five hummed in response. “Well I see we both thought of the same thing.” He lifted his mug of tea, peppermint maybe, and put it to his lips. 

“I thought you only drank coffee.” (Y/n) chuckled a little feeling the heat of the stove begin to reach her back. 

“Well it wouldn’t be very logical to drink caffeine so late in the day, especially when I have to teach an early class tomorrow.” Five flipped the page of his book, continuing to read while talking to her. 

“Makes sense.” Her words were drowned out by the high whistling of the tea kettle, letting her know she could pour it into the cup. Grabbing the tin of loose leaf tea, she hummed as she scooped it into the reusable tea bag that was next to it. 

(Y/n) dropped the tea bag in the cup, following up with the boiling water. She turned, bringing her and her cup to the table, now sitting next to Five. Five was a grumpy, annoying, old, man who has to grow up all over again, but his company was enjoyable, it contrasted hers in such a way that it comforted her. It made her feel like her ADHD was less severe, like her inability to focus was matched by someone who could do nothing but focus. 

Only a day had gone by since they met, and she was already comforted by him. 

Five shut his book and looked over at her. The more he got to know her, the more subtly enjoyable he found her. Her sitting not two feet from him didn’t bother him as much as it usually would. He was kind of ok with that. 

“You drink peppermint?” (Y/n)’s voice was scratchy and hoarse. She really did need the tea. 

“Yeah, it’s the least fruity from what I’ve tried.” He took another sip. “Simple classic.” He set it down and looked over at her, engaging in an unexpected conversation.

“I tend to prefer fruitier teas, I’ve noticed.” She looked down at the cup that she’d been drinking out of for a couple minutes now. “They go down easier and really comfort me. Reminds me of my mom, she only ever made fruity teas.” She took another sip, letting the warmth fill her up. 

“What happened to your mom?” Five looked back down at his drink, then back up at the girl next to him. “I noticed that you didn’t exactly live with her when we picked up your stuff.” 

“Yeah..” (Y/n) hesitated a little. He was awfully blunt. “I was like seven when it happened, but I’m told it was a double suicide, between her and dad.” Her legs were swinging a little nervously. “Mom sent me up to my room one night and told me not to come out until she opened the door, no matter what. The next day a detective came into my room and carried me out screaming. They were both dead on the floor. I lived with my aunt and uncle after that.”

“Oh shit.” Five didn’t expect her answer to be this upsetting. 

“Yeah. My uncle told me it was a double suicide, my aunt said the same thing, she manipulated me and made me think they did it because of me.” (Y/n) sighed into her drink, her distorted reflection staring back at her. “I don’t even remember what the scene looked like, just a lot of blood. I don’t look at anything about it either, don’t really want to relive it.” 

“That’s really tough, wow.” Five chuckled uncomfortably and finished his drink. “I didn’t know my mother, but my mom was a robot. She was pretty much indestructible, but she was fully shut off when our house was being attacked a long time ago.”

“Oh my.” (Y/n)’s voice was soft, hoarse, and tired. Her hand gently moved to rest atop his, not really knowing how else to reassure him, if he even needed it, of course. “I’m sorry about that.” 

Five didn’t even seem to notice his hand being covered. “No it’s fine, I got over it long long ago.” His words were just slightly slurred, and his eyes had reddened slightly.

“Well I’m here if you ever need like, a hug or something.” (Y/n) laughed. “I don’t really know how else to comfort anyone.” 

“It shouldn’t be your job to comfort anyone, that’s not your responsibility.” Five chuckled and smiled slightly. (Y/n) hadn’t expected him to smile, and it wasn’t as weird as she thought it would be.

Before she could even mention it though, Klaus’s happy, booming voice echoed in the kitchen as he practically skipped to the fridge. As she yanked her hand away from Five, she noticed the way he pulled his arm away as well. Maybe he did notice?

Klaus and Five started talking about something as he got off the table and placed his cup in the sink, but she wasn’t paying attention. Before her attention was quickly pulled to the floor, she thought on the way Five had wrenched his arm away. 

As anxiety inducing as it was, the LSD that was still in her system made it easy to quickly move onto the next thought. Before she knew it, a flash of blue wrenched her out of her head and she looked up at Klaus, now alone with her in the kitchen. 

“Hey, sweetie.” Klaus kissed her cheek and led her gently off the table and to the stairs. “Your trip going good?” He popped a black olive in his mouth. 

“Yeah it’s going fine, I really like it. It’s kinda different from shrooms, but not like a bad different.” She was just two steps behind him, trying to keep the same pace as him. 

“That’s great.” Klaus hummed as he popped another olive in his mouth. “These are absolutely amazing. I figured you would like it, it’s really calming and stuff for me. Makes the sad feeling kinda disappear for weeks after.” 

“Oh same, I’ve just felt creative and warm all day.” They stopped in front of Klaus’s room, Klaus still eating his olives. “I’m actually exhausted too, the trip felt really nice.” 

“Well I’m glad I could have helped.” Klaus pulled her into a tight hug, humming loudly. Hugs felt great on psychedelics, she had noticed. 

“You helped so much.” (Y/n)’s voice was slightly muffled by Klaus’s chest. She pulled out of Klaus’s chest, speaking again. “I’m gonna go to bed now, if that’s ok, I’m so so tired.” She laughed a little. 

“That’s fine, I’m gonna crash the moment I hit my bed, so..” Klaus smiled down at her, thankful for this mini-him. 

“Night night, Klaus.” (Y/n) and Klaus both separated to head to their rooms, both about to sleep deeply enough to miss a train going through the house. 

The stairs up to her new room were an almost pastel green color, covered by what looked to be years of grime and nicotine stains. It added character, she thought. The checkerboard floor at the top of the stairs seemed to lead her straight to her new room, which she was really thankful for, she was exhausted. 

Her fingers wrapped around the doorknob, twisting the old carved crystal just enough to open it. She closed it the same way, with just enough effort for it to work, she could have sworn she saw something blue flash near her, but she doubted herself immediately. Once she plopped on the bed, her fingers dragged her phone across the sheets towards her. 

It took (Y/n) two full minutes to open her phone, not remembering her password and then not being able to type the right letters slowed her down significantly. It wouldn’t matter though, because once she turned on some quiet music, she was fast asleep.

[adonis-koo]

tease

| 16 |

↳ Summary: You came with the intentions of your best friend landing a job as a stripper. You never meant to catch the eyes of the king stripper of the establishment- Jeon Jungkook, yourself. With what was supposed to be a harmless way of paying off college debt faster you find yourself falling into a very odd and passionate relationship with your new mentor. Between infidelity, passion and jealousy there’s never a dull moment at Cherry Bomb.

↳ Pairing: Stripper!Jungkook/Reader

↳ Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, drama, slice of life, relationship problems without the relationship, reader is such a shy baby protect her, MUTUAL pining, so much sexual frustration,  

Word Count: 12k

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Warning: This story touches on both sexual harassment and abuse, please read with caution if any of these things are triggers to you. Additional warnings will be given when a chapter presents them.

TW: There is a lot of implied dubious sex and implied rape/sexual harassment in this chapter, if any of these are triggers please read with caution 🖤

You wouldn’t deny, you felt extremely excited while standing in the large room, vanity lights in classic Vegas style were lit up above the long vanity table, the standing hanging rack had all your costumes on it and while your name wasn’t in plaque it was hastily written on a taped up piece of paper. These people actually considered you a soloist….only by definition considering it was your last week...But still, it was exciting!

Taking a seat in the cushioned chair you got to work on your makeup to begin with, it was Vegas, and considering this was a VIP party you figured it would be okay to really go all out cutcrease makeup, sharp wings and eyelashes that could be mistook for fans, the whole nine yards.  You had originally gone to skip a song on your phone, what you hadn’t expected was paragraph long message from the last person on your mind. 

Seriously? No seriously…? Annoyance twisted and snapped in your veins like a wildfire, as you continuously reread the text, did Seulgi ever truly know you at all? Where was this message when your relationship was toxic with Jungkook? Where was she when Hanjae broke into your apartment? Where was she when you completely ruined your first ever soloist performance? Where was she when you actually needed her? 

You hadn’t even realized your hands were trembling or heard the knock on the door until the familiar voice of Jimin interrupted you, “Y/n! Y/n? Hey, you’re on in ten, why aren’t you dressed?” 

Your gaze snapped from your phone to the blonde before you rubbed your forehead, you didn’t have time for her issues right now, it would just have to wait. Standing up you pressed your lips together before sighing, “Sorry, Seulgi just sent me a paragraph text,” You pulled the oversized shirt over your head as you walked over to the costume rack, you already had your lingerie set underneath but it was always more comfortable to get ready in loose clothing, “Out of the blue! Seriously, what is her problem?” 

You could hear Jimin snort behind you in amusement as you pushed your shorts down, looking over your shoulder with an ungrateful expression to which he straightened up at, “Ah sorry. Honestly? She’s probably just jealous...I mean, think about it, you were chosen to be trained by the most popular stripper in Cherry Bomb when you had no intention of even becoming a stripper at all, you were chosen to become a temporary soloist and now you made it on the list for Seasonella as a soloist and she didn’t even make the cut at all.” 

You stopped dead in your tracks, your fingers still coiled against the black pencil skirt that sat at your hips as you turned to face Jimin, “...She didn’t make the list…?” Yikes... Suddenly her message made a lot more sense...Not so much her message, but the timing of it. You glanced back at the costume rack, suddenly feeling a mix of both pity yet anger, this was your job, not high school cheer tryouts! “I honestly don’t know what to do with her anymore, I mean...Sure I feel bad she didn’t make the list, but is it really that big of a deal?” 

“Not really, but strippers are considerably catty,” Jimin leaned against the back of the couch as he shrugged, “Seulgi honestly fits the filler role perfect. It’s a shame really, she has all the potential to become a soloist.” 

You couldn’t help but tilt your head at his works, pulling the sheer button up top over your head before semi tucking it in, “Well somebody needs to tell her that so she’ll get off my ass. Don’t get me wrong, I understood at first Jimin, I really did,” Your eyes were semi glossed and pleading before you sighed, gritting your teeth, “But now it’s just petty.” 

“Well that’s the thing,” Jimin snorted a laugh as you pulled the brown trench coat over your shoulders, “Don’t you get it Y/n?” You paused at his words, his smile playful as he began laughing, as if he knew a secret you didn’t, “That’s her problem. Seulgi needs to constantly be petted, the only person that’s holding her back from becoming a soloist is herself, if she didn’t need to be groomed and the center of attention constantly, if she’d just shut up and do the work that’s needed without constantly being praised for it. She’d easily make it to the top. But because she can’t, because she’s used to everyone telling her how amazing she is, she’s never going to get there.”

Jimin tucked his tongue into his cheek as he scoffed, “People like that annoy the fuck out of me. That’s what makes you different from her, yeah you were coddled by Jungkook in the beginning, but you never expected that out of him. You never anticipated any of us drowning you in praise and telling you ‘you’d definitely become a soloist;. No, you struggled like most of us did in the beginning, you worked your ass off in the beginning and now it’s paying off. That’s her problem.” 

Your lips parted at his words, rather shocked to see Jimin feel so defensive for you. Pressing your lips together as you fiddled with your jacket, you never realized he felt so strongly about your situation with Seulgi, “...Do you think I’ve changed?” That was the one thing that bothered you, this whole time Seulgi kept proclaiming you had changed, was it really that bad?

“Yeah,” Your gaze snapped to Jimin’s figure as he shrugged, pushing his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket, presumably what he was wearing for the stage, “But change isn’t always a bad thing Y/n. Don’t let people hold you down just because they want to stay the same.” 

Sighing, you wrapped your arms around yourself as you leaned against the wall, thinking on his words. You supposed, Jimin was right, change wasn’t always a bad thing. And looking back, maybe you had changed? 

But it’s like he said, it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, you needed that change to happen. Or else things with Jungkook would have exploded and you could have potentially ruined your relationship with him. Your heart trembled at that idea, the memory of him and you both distant but still fresh. Jungkook was so important to you, you couldn’t lose him, and you changed not for him, but for yourself. So had he. 

“I didn’t take you for a therapist Jimin.” You glanced up as a mutual smile pulled on both your and his lips as you shared a laugh, shaking your head as you stepped into your heels, “Thanks though,” You furrowed your brows before smiling a little, glancing up at him as you nodded, “I...I think I needed to hear that. I should make my way backstage, good luck!” 

Jimin tipped his fedora at you with a wink as he replied, “Too you as well, you’ll need it. Cya Y/n.” 

Keeping his words in mind you gave yourself a mini pep talk as you made your way backstage, it was even more crowded here then at a busy day at work and it was more chaotic than you could have ever imagined. You could do this. Being on stage wasn't what made you nervous anymore. It was getting off stage and finding out just what exactly Seasonella was. 

The stage manager nodded in acknowledgement as you stood off to the side, peering out from behind the stage where your heart did a little leap at the sight of Jungkook. Swallowing the lump in your throat at how good he looked in a three piece suit and his gelled, styled hair. He must have just started his routine, his music was bassy and slow and the floor he stood on wafted with smoke, presumably from dry ice off stage. 

Wrapping your arms around yourself you watched the way he easily swiveled his hips turning away from the audience, popping the jacket off his shoulders, oddly enough despite the large crowd nobody seemed to even be paying attention besides a few whistles here and there. Glancing over his shoulder he offered a sultry smirk, even after all this time he never failed to make your heart race and your face flushed as you dropped your gaze. He wasn’t even looking at you, in fact, he probably didn’t even know you were next in line up. Jungkook’s routine was slow and easy going as he began to shed his clothes, as if he was in no real hurry, soaking up his time on stage. 

He really was a natural.

Just the way his hips would slowly roll before snapping, those large calloused hands slowly running up against his chest to pop the first button of his white button up. You could easily see why Jungkook thrived in this environment, now thinking about it. It was easy because it was only skin deep, Jungkook was comfortable in his body and it showed, being a stripper was hard, but it was only skin deep, you didn’t have to get personal or open up to anyone in this business.

But even with all of that in mind, his eyes, it was always his eyes that showed when he wasn’t feeling his performance, when something was on his mind. Nobody ever seemed to notice it but you. No matter how many smirks and teasing smiles Jungkook flashed it was his eyes that seemed...disinterested? Maybe...maybe even upset?

You didn’t like it, it drove your instincts wild with a need to sit on his lap and grab his face to look at you and ask him what was wrong, but then again, did you really need to? Given what had happened this morning? He was upset when you pushed him away, hell he was upset when he left after his shower. Neither of you had spoken when he left either, he just kept looking at you, longingly, as if hoping maybe you’d speak to him, to give him a chance. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to speak to him, it was just...what was there to even talk about? He wasn’t going to convince you this was okay, because it wasn’t. None of this was okay. You didn’t like being on terms like this with him, but what else was there to discuss? It was what it was, all either of you could do was do your job. 

It wasn’t like you were mad at him, Jungkook was a stripper, but so were you. Yes it was upsetting and it hurt that he’d be sleeping with other people, but so were you...You sighed, massaging the temple of your head as you watched his hand slip down to squeeze the thick imprint that pressed against his slacks. You couldn’t stop the quirk in your lips at the sight, even when he was upset he still managed to sport a boner, of course he could.

It was odd watching him pop the button of his slacks, usually by this point girls were practically screaming, but instead it was quiet besides the song that played as the slacks fell off his thick muscular thighs that flexed. You were semi perplexed at the sight of Versace strapped against his skin rather than his regular Calvin Kleins, you couldn’t help but grind your teeth at the idea of that girl buying them for him. It had to be her. Eva.

Was she out in the crowd somewhere enjoying the show? Or was she intending on making him strip again just for her in private. The idea made you livid and the intense desire to jab her eyes out for even looking at what was yours. It was hard to imagine you were actually blushing and melting into your chair when you first laid eyes on Jungkook’s figure on stage. Now you just felt a vague sense of depression watching him hook his thumbs to the band of his boxers.

Maybe it was a sense of defeat that you felt watching him proudly flaunt his hardened cock on stage. A part of you couldn’t help but snicker though, it was so typical of him. Exibitionism was one of his biggest kinks after all. His song had come to an end, the stage lights dimming as people rushed past you, a robe in hand for Jungkook as he came off stage. 

No words were spoken, your gaze only catching his for a second before you were being ushered on stage. Nodding you hurried out in the blackout. Leaning against the pole you made yourself comfortable, it wasn’t time to think anymore. All you had to do was dance. 

The lights immediately flickered on as the intro of your music started out, the smirk immediately pulling on your lips as you turned your head to face the crowd. Most of the crowd wasn’t even paying attention to you, some people seated others standing and talking to one another. What even was Seasonella for? Just connection building for the wealthy?

Letting your hands drag up your body, you slide down the pole letting your legs open naturally before letting your knees drop to let your hands support you on the ground. Your face pressing against the ground as you let your hand circle around your face. Just who were these nameless faces? Just like Jungkook, you weren’t at your best performance. Not that anyone could tell as you rolled to your back letting your legs raise up and set against the pole before letting one slide down as your hands squeezed up your chest, the smile teasing on your lips as you sent a wink out to the crowd. 

That's when you saw him though, Jungkook fully dressed once more, hair damp from sweat and still adjusting the buttons of his loose black button up, his gaze not on Eva who was excitedly waiting for him, instead he was watching you as he ran a hand through his hair. 

Letting your legs open slightly you sat up with your thighs sandwiched between the pole as you rested your head against it, letting the jacket fall off your shoulders as you sent a flirty gasp at the crowd before letting it drop to the ground. 

Making your way to stand up you swayed your hips as you turned to face the crowd, a smug look twisting on to your features at the sight of Eva obviously not happy at your boyfriend checking you out. Keeping a wide stance you dropped slightly to circle your ribs while letting your hands drag up your thighs, teasingly pulling your skirt up higher. Turning to face the wall you curved your spine to highlight your ass as you teased even more, pulling the skirt up to flash the lingerie you wore before tugging the skirt back down. 

You noticed whatever position Jungkook was in he must have left, or maybe Eva had dragged him away at the short time span your back was facing the audience, regardless they couldn’t have left already, right? Pulling your shirt from it’s tuck in your skirt you pulled it out farther as you sunk back down to a slut drop, they couldn’t have gotten far.

Just as you stood back up, hooking your thumb beneath the fabric of your top, a smirk flashed towards the audience that only a few eyes watched you curiously with, that’s when your eyes tracked that messy head of hair again. Jungkook was sitting down, his arm wrapped around Eva who was more than happily snuggled against him, chatting away with what appeared to be her friends. The other person who had stuck out to you was Diego who sat at their table, his eyes however, unshockingly were roaming your body. 

You decided to pay him no mind as you pulled the shirt over your head, letting your upper body become exposed and the glittery, strappy push up bra become displayed. Maybe you were just imagining it but you could have swore Eva had jumped in Jungkook’s tightening grip. His eyes also on you while occasionally glaring daggers at Diego. God you would kill to be listening to that conversation. 

Letting your hips sway softly you strutted further up stage, your arms over head before they groped their way down your body. Turning to face away from the crowd you looked over your shoulder, a playful smile tugging at your lips as you reached for the clasp of your bra. Unhooking it before letting it drop to the ground leaving your bare back on display. 

Turning to face the audience you let your hips begin to sink once more as you let them sway hiding your breasts teasingly behind your hands that began to massage them. It was weird, being in a reversed role where it was your eyes that met Jungkooks from the stage, rather than the other way around. 

Except rather than squirming in embarrassment Jungkook had zero shame in letting his eyes roam all over your body, his lip catching between his teeth and you were all too familiar with that dark look in his eyes. His chin lifting a little in that standoffish, domineering way it always did when he got turned on. 

You however, weren’t yourself at the moment. Rather shy away from his gaze you welcomed it, letting your lips twitch back into a cocky smirk as your hands traveled down your body, your tits perking a little in arousal as your hands slid down your skirt. You could practically see the way Jungkook was eye fucking you, his hand that about been resting on the table curling into a fist and his expression becoming darker by the moment. 

You hadn’t said anything, hell you hadn’t even done anything, but you could tell he wanted to put you over his lap. And there was nothing he could do about it. Something about being aware of that practically made your confidence shoot through the roof as you sent him a playful wink. Effortlessly pushing down the skirt that complied, hitting the ground to reveal the almost light golden, sequin g string you wore beneath, the sheer gold stockings and garter belt to match on display. You could even hear a few whistles from the audience only making you that much cockier. 

And Jungkook was livid. So livid. Despite sitting far away you could see the way his jaw clenched and his fist uncurled and impatiently tapped against the table, as if itching to get his hands on you. Arousal instantly shot between your legs, his dark, lust filled gaze making your body anxious granted this was the most inconvenient timing ever.

If they saw you wet, then that’s just what was gonna happen, you’d just blame it on Jungkook given he was the reason you were in this state. There was no point in worrying about it now. With that in mind you sunk to the ground, crawling out on your hands and knees, letting your tits bounce a little as you dropped to your forearms. Jungkook leaned back in his seat, the vein on his neck popped and you could even see his chest puffing a little. 

The sight made you want to laugh, and for a split second a genuine smile wiggled it’s way onto your lips, before the seductive one quickly took back over as your thighs slid to the ground. Rolling on to your back your vision of him was upside down but that didn’t deter you from letting your hands drag back up your body, letting them squeeze against your breasts as your thighs rubbed together, warm arousal beginning to make your panties stick your folds as you let your body begin to roll as your hips thrusted upwards. 

Your hands sliding back down your body as you began to tug your panties off, gaze never breaking away from Jungkook’s figure, that looked close to a starved man ready to sit between your thighs at the moment. Your panties were unshockingly wet as you kicked them off. As if you weren’t aroused before you certainly were now, naked on stage for the whole floor to see. But with your eyes locked with Jungkook’s it wasn’t like that, it was just you and him at the moment. No party, no one else, just you and him. 

Pulling yourself to sit up you turned to face the audience once more on your knees, a cocky smile tugging on your lips as you let them slide apart. Your cunt was aching and glistening at being exposed as your hands ran up your body, playing with your hair as you heard another round of whistles.

But this wasn’t about them, this was about Jungkook’s clenched jaw and the way he bounced his knee impatiently, the way his fingers twitched against his glass and his eyes roaming all over your exposed body. You didn’t need to see his lap to know he was hard. Crawling back on your hands and knees one last time you sent a one more wink to the audience before rolling to the side. Sitting upright as you finished your last pose. 

The lights went black as you quickly stood up. Walking off stage as best you could in your heels as you grabbed the robe from one of the stage assistants. Wrapping it around your body you let a giggle escape your lips.

Jungkook was turned on, but so were you. You’ll forever have the look on his face stained in your head, maybe something you both could laugh over later and then bang because it would make him horny. 

Walking back to your dressing room you closed the door. Kicking off your heels as you pulled your hair up into a bun to focus on getting dressed. Sitting down you unclipped your stockings before walking over to your bag. You supposed your black mini dress would do, and maybe you’d wear a pair of your black fishnet stockings to go with it? Biting against your lip you figured that would do it before getting changed. Fixing the deep v neck that plunged, showing off your cleavage before pulling out a black pair of pumps to match. 

You wouldn’t be able to talk to Jungkook...but maybe taking Diego up on his offer meant you could see him more? It was a gamble. Nibbling against your lip you fixed your hair in the mirror, putting your phone in the cup of your bra before adjusting it to not make it look obvious. Would you even want to see him this weekend? 

Regardless Diego Friar might as well have been a pile of money sitting at your doorstep, he would be paying you for your company and you knew he’d pay well. This was why you were doing this after all. This was supposed to justify the means. Somehow. Nodding you stood up before heading out. Soloist’s seemed to do more of the entertaining for the guests than actually dancing, although you couldn’t say it was completely true for you. You still had five more dances to get through tonight but at least you had a good hour break before going on back to back. 

Did they really only keep you here as prostitutes? You couldn’t help but wonder about that question, hardly anyone even watched you show. Pushing the door open to enter into the main room you let your eyes wash over the crowd. Why not just hire prostitutes? 

It was legal here in Nevada, why make the strippers do it under dubious consent? Surely the clients budget wasn’t that tight. You supposed there was no point in making sense of it. While Diego would pay for your company, you wouldn’t lie if you said there weren't any underlying motives here. Diego was the client's son, surely he’d know what was going on...Not that you assumed he’d willingly tell you but...A little investigating wouldn’t hurt, right? 

You knew the only thing you needed to focus on was getting to the end of the weekend, but you couldn’t help but wonder, if something illegal was going on here, shouldn’t somebody stop it? Stopping in front of the table you couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you to see Diego standing up, as if waiting confidently, knowing you would come to this table. 

“That was some performance doll.” He sent you a wink, his lips quirked into a smirk confidently, as if you had completely done that just for him. Had Diego not caught on between you and Jungkook? Or was he really that distracted by your body?

You offered a small smile in return as you wrapped your arms around yourself, “I told you I was saving my energy. So I was thinking,” You stretched your sentence as a playful smile tugged on your lips, “About your deal.” 

Diego’s smirk was only reinforced by your words as he confidently strode up to you, “And?” The idea of sleeping with Diego was... less than appealing... but you had a lot of options to weigh here. The first being you were likely to see Jungkook more often, the second being you wouldn’t be passed from creep to creep and the third and last option was the one which wasn’t a good idea. 

You wanted to know why the hell Seasonella existed, what was its purpose, who were these people? Diego was the client's son, if somebody knew the ropes of this party, it was him. 

‘I’ve heard all kinds of rumors about our strippers coming here and not returning to Korea because of being difficult’

That’s the same words Jungkook told you. He wanted you to just go with the flow so nothing happened to you. Going with Diego was both the safest and most dangerous option, depending on how you played your cards. But you were willing to make a deal with the devil to find out, “I’ll agree to it, with some ground rules,” 

Diego chuckled, shifting his weight from one foot to another, running a hand through his hair as he nodded, though it almost seemed vaguely patronizing, “Alright doll, that’s fair enough, what are these rules?”

“Condoms on at all times,” You immediately listed off, attempting to not wrinkle your nose at the idea of feeling him..raw...inside you...it made your stomach churn unpleasantly, “I’m not looking to get knocked up,” You offered a humored smile despite it feeling mildly forced, “And I want my mornings to myself,” You added, remembering Jungkook’s words, him telling you to ask for the mornings so you could at least be together then, “Two rules, and I’m all yours.”

You knew Jungkook wanted nothing more than to make sure you were safe. But you needed answers, you needed to know why this was happening. And furthermore, what part of this was illegal, if any at all. 

Diego gave you a smile, his arm immediately wrapping around you as he replied, “Your rules are gold baby. You won’t be disappointed. C’mon, let's get you a drink and sit down.” It felt weird being held by somebody else while sipping on your classic margarita, taking a seat down at the table where Jungkook’s eyes glared at the arm wrapped around your shoulder like it pissed him off. It probably did. You could only hope Jungkook didn’t get the wrong idea about this, you weren’t doing this to spite him. 

You did it for multiple reasons, none which even involved him...Well, none that involved him in a bad way. But to see Jungkook so...docile in a situation like this? In a situation  “This is Y/n, the lovely doll I’ve been talking about.” Diego introduced you to his friends, mutual friends of Eva as well you assumed. It was coincidental that you and Jungkook just so happened to be sitting on the inside of the table next to one another, a respectful distance between you both given you both were supposed to be closer to each sibling. 

“It’s so nice to meet you!” You gave a bright smile at the man- Lorenzo who was an italian with a strong accent and didn’t seem incredibly familiar with Koren, but enough that you could hold a steady conversation, he also seemed to be a considerably close friend of Diego’s compared to all of the others, “I hope you’ve been enjoying the show up on stage.” 

What you hadn’t expected was a large, wrathful hand to harshly clamp your inner thigh making you nearly choke on your drink, callous fingers digging into your soft skin while roughly massaging closer to your core. 

Your eyes sent sharp daggers to Jungkook’s figure, who was innocently on his side of the table, his free arm wrapped around Eva while conversing with her and one of her friends, acting as if he totally wasn’t groping you. This was not the time or place to be doing this! 

“Ah yes, you put on quite the show.” You gave a forced smile at Lorenzo as you tried to wiggle your leg from Jungkook's grasp, it was useless though as he squeezed harder, his nails pleasantly digging into your skin as if in warning to stop. 

It wasn’t even fair, Jungkook was speaking to Eva and her friends in english which you could only pick bits and pieces of conversation out of while he could hear everything you said. You tried your best, you really did. But Jungkook’s long thick fingers were making it difficult to focus, never quite making it to where you had hoped it would, but just enough to keep you on edge. 

Was this some possessive display or reminder to you? You wished you could just ask Jungkook what his problem was. Maybe he was mad you weren’t wearing your collar, but could he really expect you too when...You couldn’t help but shudder. This was going to be a long night. 

The night dragged on and admittedly, you couldn’t help but tense at all the pleasantries, you honestly assumed Diego would jump you the moment he got his hands on you but then again, he was from a prestigious family, clearly. 

You sighed as you glanced at yourself in the mirror, rubbing the towel over the back of your neck that had broken out in a sweat, you were used to dancing on stage but something about being here had made you nervous. You weren’t sure what it was but the whole vibe of this place put you on edge. Shaking your head you pulled the skirt up to your waist before finishing putting on the rest of your clothes. 

Dread filled your stomach but you couldn’t help it, anytime you weren’t dancing you were with Diego, you assumed the moment he got you alone he’d jump you but he had behaved well...But now your night of stripping was over, your body was tired and so were you but...Well you had a feeling the night had only just begun in other ways. 

Jungkook had disappeared a while ago with Eva and her friends, he had finished earlier in the night then you but given he was more social it wasn’t a surprise he had stayed to converse with her and her friends. Or maybe it was Eva who wanted to stay longer?

You couldn’t help but feel a simmering anger boil inside you at the idea of someone controlling and dictating the man you loved. You forcibly calmed yourself as you pushed your hair off your shoulder. This wasn’t the time to brood of this, it wasn’t like you could do anything about it. Could you even be mad at Jungkook? No, not when you were with Diego. 

Something about the situation made you grit your teeth as you pushed the door to your dressing room open. Why were you so powerless in a situation like this? You had never seen Jungkook let himself be powerless either. 

Pausing you glanced at the ground as people rushed past you, the night on stage still very much alive and even busier than you had ever seen before. If Jungkook was too scared to speak up or if he was worried for you, then you’d do it for him. You nodded affirming to yourself.

Whatever the Friar’s were up too....You weren’t just going to sit still and watch your friends get bullied by them. The idea made your lips twitch and your fist coil in anger, why the fuck was nobody saying anything to them!? 

Closing your eyes briefly you let your shoulders relax as you began to walk. It’s okay, they have all been there to help you on your feet. Now you’d stand beside them and defend them just as they have you. You didn’t know who these people were but you were going to find out. 

Walking out of the back and into the large lounge your eyes scoped Diego who seemed to be talking to two other men...He hadn’t introduced you so they must have been work related contacts. 

Walking over you gave a bright smile as Diego’s eyes landed on you, pausing conversation with the two men as he waved you over, “Finished up doll?” You nodded, feigning innocence to the two men’s stares that leered on you as Diego squeezed your chin, “Good. Tell you what baby, how about you head up to my room? I’ll catch up with you soon, I just have some business to take care of.” 

You felt an odd shiver down your spine at his words. Business? At three in the morning? You still gave a smile as you nodded, “Of course! I’ll see you soon then.” You winked as you took the passcard from his hand, a charming expression on your face as you nodded to the two men before turning around. 

You didn’t like this one bit. You glanced around in hopes of finding a familiar face but everyone seemed foreign to your eyes. Sighing, you shook your head a little, glancing down at the passcard to Diego’s room, number listed on it as you headed for the elevator.

Staying still you intended to enter the elevator only for your eyes to widen at the heated sight as the doors slid open, the familiar head of hair sucking harshly on skin as the woman moaned, Seokjin suddenly straightened up at the sight of you as he coughed harshly. 

The girl jumped before turning around as she gave a sheepish smile before glancing up at him with pink cheeks, “Thanks for seeing me down, i’ll see you later.” She winked as she stepped out of the elevator just as you stepped in. 

It was quiet for a moment as you and Seokjin awkwardly stood there, “I uh-”

“It’s cool.” You immediately cut him off as you both glanced at each other, unable to keep the awkward tense though as you both let out a small laugh, “She seemed happy.” 

“I’d hope so,” Seokjin scoffed, not going into detail but you could tell they obviously had just finished sleeping together, if Seokjin’s sweat drenched and messy hair was anything to go by, his eyes glancing up at the number that ticked up in the elevator, “I’m assuming you’re headed for Diego’s?” 

You gave a small nod before sighing, “Yeah...he had ‘business’ to take care of so he’s meeting me later…” You parted your lips for a moment before closing them once more, glancing up at Seokjin’s figure before asking, “...Seokjin…” Gaining his attention he glanced down at you as he raised his brows a little, “What’s going on here?” 

You watched his shoulders tense a little as he pressed his lips together, glancing away from you before letting his gaze flicker across the elevator as if searching for something, “...Sometimes...it’s better to be ignorant Y/n,” You frowned at his cryptic words, Seokjin’s gaze on you was like a heavy weight, as if they were drilling through your soul as he continued, “Don’t look for something you’ll regret finding out. I saw Jungkook earlier.” Your frown deepened at his abrupt change of topic. 

What was it that they knew that you didn’t? All you had heard were rumors thus far. It was obvious Seokjin and the others knew something was going on, so why weren’t they doing anything about it? Was it really easier to just turn a blind eye to whatever was happening? 

Deciding to drop the subject you held in a sigh as you glanced up at the numbers sliding above the door, “Yeah…?” You kept your tone neutral, not wanting to say you didn’t want to hear it, but on the other hand you were a little curious. 

“Yeah,” Seokjin clacked his tongue before snorting, “He didn’t look happy. Just kept staring at you on stage like a little puppy before Eva dragged him away.” You didn’t reply to his words for a moment. Were you surprised? No. Did it warm your heart?...Maybe a little...But still, you needed to play your cards carefully. The last thing you needed was Eva catching wind of your relation to Jungkook outside of being his trainee. 

“Well he’s just going to have to deal with it.” You replied, not intending to come off as cold as you did making Seokjin turn to face you, his brows raised in somewhat surprise making you sighed as your expression softened a little, “What can I do about it Seokjin? What’s the point in talking about it? It just…” You inhaled sharply before letting it out, “It’s already upsetting, why even talk about it?” 

You hadn’t even meant to project onto him, but you couldn’t help it, the early morning of what had happened with Jungkook was still fresh in your mind, what did he want from you? To say it was okay? That it would all be okay? It wasn’t okay! None of this was okay!

Seokjin frowned a little, his own expression softening a little as he nodded solemnly, “I can understand to a degree. But you can’t ignore him forever. What are you gonna do when all of this is over? Pretend like it never happened?” 

Glaring down at the floor you didn’t reply for a moment before answering, “I don’t know. And I’m not gonna think about it right now. I have a lot more on my plate to focus on.” The doors slid open with a ding as you glanced ahead. Seokjin frowned at your words, wanting to respond but not having the time as you turned to give him a small smile, “Good luck Seokjin, I’ll see you later.” 

Walking out of the elevator you kept a clear head as you walked down the eerily silent hallway, the elevator closed behind you leaving you all by yourself, the corridor was long and if you had gotten too close to a door you could hear soft moans from inside. 

Stepping back to keep in center only to jolt at the sound of a loud crash and a muffled scream, “Be quiet you bitch!” Adrenaline shot through your veins at the muffled snarl of a man at the you were about to pass, “I’ll be back soon and you better be fucking prepared to perform again.” 

You scrambled away from the door, heart pounding in your chest as the door ripped open, the sounds of sobs inside before the door slammed shut. 

Footsteps stomped down the hallway until they could no longer be heard, when you heard the distinct sound of the elevator you timidly turned around...Should you…? Of course you should! Whatever had happened, it didn’t sound good. Nodding to yourself you swallowed thickly as you  walked back to the door as you frowned. The sobbing was still muffled but could be heard inside and it was enough to break your heart...It wasn’t your business but…

You gently knocked on the door, no response sounding, just tears. Gently you opened the door, timidly gazing inside only to feel your heart crumble at the familiar sight. 

Chan Hee. 

Naked yet curled up, not on the bed, but on the ground against it with her knees curled to her chest and tears streaming down her face, an ugly welt on her cheek as her body trembled. Fumbling you closed the door behind you as you rushed up to her figure that seemed so small in comparison to any other time you’ve seen her.

Chan Hee, was the image of confidence, of not caring whether people saw her as bitchy or conceited. To see her so weak, so vulnerable, it crushed you more than you ever thought it would, “Chan Hee?” You weakly called out as you kneeled down, grabbing the throw blanket off the bed as she whimpered, her arms squeezing tightly around her knees, “Y-you should go.” She stammered, tears streaking down her cheeks as you wrapped the blanket around her body, “H-he’ll b-be back soon…” 

“I’m not leaving you here by yourself.” You gritted your teeth, brows pinching together in anger as she sniffled, yes you may not have been on the best terms with her but you’d never turn your back to someone in need  and right now she needed someone, “For all the differences we might have I would never leave you or anyone else here.”

Her fists coiled around the blanket as she lowered her gaze, trembling as tears dripped down her cheeks, standing up you gathered her clothes that were scattered across the floor before sitting down next to her, “Nobody fucking told me it would be a whore house here.” She sniffed as she gritted her teeth, wiping her eyes once more with trembling hands. 

“I was told…” You murmured as you glanced at the floor, Chan Hee glancing at you as she rubbed her eyes, “But I just didn’t listen, didn’t even think about it.” You gave a hurmorless smile at the floor before it dropped, silently berating yourself on how ignorant you chose to be despite the many times Jungkook warned you, “I was so naive and dumb, it didn’t even register in my brain until this morning.

It was quiet for a moment as you both sat in silence before you shuffled, “C’mon, let’s get you dressed. I’d rather not be here when he comes back.” Chan Hee shakily sat herself on the bed, surprisingly letting you help her get dressed.

Her legs were particularly twitchy, her eyes seemed glassy still and her gaze distant, “...I didn’t care at first,” She whispered under her breath, not looking at you as you pulled the top over her head, “...Sex is sex, it was just another tip under my belt...But after the first round...it was just too much,” Her eyes were beginning to water again as she scoffed despite her lips quivering, “...And even when I told him to stop he-” She inhaled, choking back a sob that made your own eyes water. 

Kneeling down in front of her you gently grabbed her hands, her gaze was down in her lap as fresh tears trickled down her cheeks, it was odd seeing Chan Hee seem so...ashamed, broken even, “Chan Hee, I know apologizing isn’t going to fix what happened, but I am sorry. It shouldn’t be like this, everything in Seasonella... Come on, where’s your room at? You shouldn’t be subjected to this anymore.” 

Chan Hee didn’t reject your movement as you helped her up, your pulse speeding up as you opened the door, timidly glancing around before walking up ahead to the other elevator, only praying you wouldn’t run into the man that did this, “Fifth floor, 32.” She murmured, her body trembling a little as you both got into the elevator. 

The strippers floor was quiet, almost all rooms vacant as everyone was out filling client rooms or dancing, you helped Chan Hee into her room as you set her on her bed, feeling a little lost until she weakly laid down, “I’ll be okay,” She murmured, curling up against her covers as she hugged her pillow, “...thank you.” Two words and yet they felt so hopeless and sad, you mustered a small smile as you nodded before reluctantly turning around. 

Your thoughts lingered on Chan Hee before flittering to Seokjin’s words, and then briefly they stayed on Jungkook. Sighing you pinched the bridge of your nose as you shook your head, pushing the cardkey into the slot before walking into the large room. 

What you didn’t expect was the room to be vacant. You had been gone at least twenty minutes and Diego still wasn’t here? You frowned as you warily stepped into the room, it at first appeared like a lodge of some sort, couches facing each other with a small kitchen at the back wall, up the two steps however was the large king size bed and a desk with a dresser nearby. Despite the room's large size, his main bedroom seemed almost small. 

Your eyes honed in on the messy desk, Seokjin’s words replaying in your mind before Chan Hee’s figure reminded you why you were here. Maybe they would pretend like everything was okay and bare it, but you weren’t. Not when stuff like this was happening. Carefully you glanced around the room before looking over your shoulder at the door as you walked up to the desk. 

Pushing through some of the paper you frowned as you picked up a document of sorts. 

Warehouse 15: Currently full 

Shipments will need to be made by the 22nd and deadlines for payments will be cut off by the 25th when the cargo has arrived, we’ll need to gain the last set of the cargo during the weekend of the 18th-

You jumped at the sound of the door closing, hurriedly dropping the document as you swiftly turned around. Diego’s figure was skewered by the corner of the wall, “You’re here.” You welcomed as you painted a smile on your face despite the back of your mind rampantly running at whatever you just read, warehouse 15? What was held in it that was full? And clients? Was this what Seasonella was about? Today was the 18th, the start of the weekend…

“Seems someone is eager to see me.” Diego sent you a wink as he pulled the jacket off as you felt your smile tense a little, he seemed tired as he loosened his tie. 

You slowly made your way down the two steps into the main lodge as you sat down on the couch, “Well it was getting a little lonely here...Did you take care of your business?” You asked carefully, keeping your eyes wide and doe like to appear innocent as you folded your hands into your lap. 

Diego chuckled a little, unbuttoning his waist coat as he sat down a little closer to you then you would’ve liked but you didn’t move away, “Yes, it’s all finished now. No need to worry about that doll, c’mere.” You squeaked a little at the way his hands grabbed onto your waist, pulling you to straddle his lap. 

It felt foreign as you had never slept with a client before and the only man you had slept with in months was...Jungkook...you felt somewhat nauseous thinking about him, thinking about what you were about to do, “You’ve got all my attention now,” Diego licked his lips as he pushed the hair from your face, your body tense as you resisted to pull away from his touch like you wanted. 

It wasn’t warm and tender like Jungkook’s, one that made you want to bury further into him. No, this felt somewhat condescending in a way, as if your hand was being twisted behind your back and his grip was lifeless of any sort of care or love, “Relax baby, you seem so tense.” Diego purred as his hands slid to your waist. 

You let the smile turn more charismatic as you giggled a little, shrugging as you forced your thoughts into the back of your head, “It’s just been a...long day...but incredible I mean…” You let your smile turn more coy, girlish as you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, “I’m in Las Vegas, it’s a little overwhelming...I just can’t help but wonder, how did Seasonella begin Diego?” You tilted your head innocently as you let your hands press gently against his chest.

 “Curious are we?” He chuckled a little, a smirk coiling on his lips as you rolled your hips a little enticingly, the more you gave the more willing he’d be to speak on this, or so you hoped, “Seasonella was originally just an annual meeting held between my fathers men yearly,” His hands rested on your hips as you swayed them against his, letting them roll along the hardening bulge of his cock,, “It slowly began to grow into his men bringing other references, and those references bring theirs until it grew even more, eventually it became more like an open party to the right people to come and do business with us. It’s what made our wealth skyrocket.” 

You were having a difficult time relaxing as he leaned in against your neck, lips trailing along your neck as your breath catched a little as you focused everything onto his words. You’d need more than that to go on. You wiggled your hips a little more as you pulled away, letting your lips tug into a cute pout before letting them twist into a playful smile, “And that’s it? That’s how you started taking strippers from across the globe to attend?” 

Diego placed his hands on your hips as you gave them a little sway, pretending as if you totally hadn’t felt his obviously lacking hard on, “When the meeting starting becoming bigger and more akin to a party we started hiring on entertainment,” You could see the way Diego was becoming more pliable, more willing to spill whatever you wanted so you could hurry up, “Of course it ended up benefiting us in the end, we invest they give us girls. It works out.” 

What…? 

Diego, perhaps realizing how his words sounded didn’t give you a chance to question him further, you squeaked as he pushed you down onto the couch, climbing on top of you as you swallowed thickly, “But enough of that doll. I’m more interested in how tight that little cunt is.”  You jumped a little at his lips attaching to your neck, the sharp moan leaving you before you could stop it. 

Diego’s hands dragged their way down your waist as you squirmed beneath him, controlling your breaths as adrenaline shot through your veins. Just today  and tomorrow, that’s all you needed to get through. 

“Kookie, why have you been so quiet?” Eva turned to face him with a pouty frown, shifting the blanket to cover her plump perky breasts as she laid her head against her arms, observing the way Jungkook laid on his back, his expression dimmed and the frown harshly twisted on his lips. 

The door had just closed and her friend who had joined them in such an incredible night in bed had taken her leave. Jungkook didn’t reply for a moment, unsure of how to before he finally shrugged, sitting up as the blanket fell off his chest revealing the broad chiseled sight that was making her rub her thighs together all over again, “Eva can I be honest with you?”

It was a dumb question, because while he was sure she was going to say yes despite the likelihood that she’d accept his words was….rather slim.

Eva gave him a wide, excited smile, as if she thought for sure he was slowly beginning to open up to her. Sitting up eagerly, she clutched the sheets against her chest as she gave him a timid smile, “Of course you can Jungkook, I’ll never judge you.” Rather than make him smile though Jungkook’s brows only furthered as he sighed, running a hand through his damp hair, “What do you think we are, relationally speaking?” He wanted to cringe at the question, but it was something he had been thinking about. Eva had continuously gloated to her friends about her ‘boyfriend when Jungkook had made himself clear several times before that he was not her boyfriend.. 

Eva’s cheeks dusted a light pink as she glanced coyly at the blankets, “Well...I thought I made my point Kook. If it weren’t for my studies I’d be in Korea...with you...I like you....a lot...I have since we met last year.” 

Jungkook didn’t mean to let the groan escape him but it was too late, Eva had stiffened somewhat as she glanced at him carefully awaiting his response, “Eva….” His words didn’t sound promising he knew it, but Jungkook wanted to make himself very clear, “You do understand that I’m only here because I have to be here? Right? You’re a nice girl but…” Should he bring you into this conversation? No...he’ll need to make it discreet, “I’ve met someone...Someone I really love...” 

Jungkook felt somewhat timid meeting her gaze, it was worse than he had hoped for truthfully. Eva was as stiff as a board and her gaze was darkening by the second before she gave a loud scoff that came out as if she was trying to force it into a laugh, her smile sharper than usual as she replied, “Love…? Maybe it’s just me but if you really loved someone, you wouldn’t be working as a stripper and sleeping with people behind her back.”

Jungkook had parted his lips to object but quickly snapped them shut, remembering he had told himself he was leaving you out of this. He couldn’t help but feel guilty though, did he really love you if he was doing this? He could feel it eating him alive inside as she gave him a snide smile, “Yeah, that’s what I thought. I get it Jungkook I do, we’ve been apart a year, but just give it a shot!” 

Eva ignored the way his body tensed as she climbed into his lap, cupping his face as her smile softened a little, “I think we could really work Jungkook...besides...you know I can offer you anything she could and even more,” Jungkook’s jaw clenched against her grip and he refused to meet her eyes, “And you know it, I’ll take care of you, provide for you, my family will keep you safe from KOI and I know how much of a strangle hold they’ve had on you before.” 

Letting her forehead rest against his she leaned in, his lips were so soft and addictive. Eva only felt them for a few seconds before she was pushed away, her lips even parted in somewhat offense at the aggressive and cold glare he gave her, “I’ll sleep with you all you want, I’ll play boyfriend while I’m here, I’ll let you have your fun with your friends,” She whined a little as he shoved her against the bed climbing on top of her, “But don’t you ever fucking kiss me like you’re actually apart of my life. You know nothing about me or who I am and it’s going to be kept this way.”

Jungkook roughly rolled her onto her stomach as he growled, “Now I’m gonna spank this ass until it’s bruised and you’re gonna count you disobedient bitch.” He didn’t even wait for her to speak, she was already moaning and whining as his hand slammed against the delicate pale skin of her ass. Jungkook didn’t care how much she knew about him or how much she could dangle his past over his head, there would always be few things off limits and this was one of them. 

…

It was morning, you knew it was. Light streamed through the windows and it looked like a beautiful day outside, blue sky with billowing white clouds. If you were back home in Korea you would’ve begged Jungkook to take you to the market where you’d go to look for plants and succulents to add to your collection. 

But you weren’t home. No. You were in Diego Friar’s bed with thighs that ached and like they were on fire with your stomach churning for the past thirty minutes. He had left a while ago saying he had work to take care of and that he’d meet you in the cafe for breakfast. That was okay, you didn’t want him to stay anyways. You felt gross, every inch of your body felt disgusting and you knew a shower wouldn’t be enough to make you feel better. 

Trying to ignore the dull throb of your stomach you sat up feeling somewhat numb as you carefully dressed yourself. Glancing at Diego’s desk you deflated even more, all the paper that had been thrown across was gathered and most likely taken by him this morning. Standing up you winced as you forced yourself to walk. You weren’t going to break down...you weren’t going to break down crying…

No matter how much you repeated it in your head you still felt tears glossing in your eyes as you punched the bottom floor button, the elevator was making your stomach feel even worse as you groaned silently, the elevator was too small and there were too many people here.��

As soon as the doors slid open you pushed your way out, the churn of your stomach becoming too much and you needed to find a bathroom, fast, “Oh hey Y/n-” Jimin’s eyes widened a little as you shoved past him and into the bathroom. 

Unable to even lock the stall door as you lurched down onto your knees, the sour taste of alcohol and last night's meal coming up as you coughed rancidly, spitting out bile as tears trickled down your cheeks from the force of your cough as you began to dry heave up any last bits. 

Sitting down against the toilet you couldn’t help but let the tears trickle down your face as you let out a sob. God you felt disgusting, would Jungkook even want to be with you today after knowing...After seeing? Your hands trembled as you sobbed into them. Sniffling harshly as you forced yourself up to stand, flushing away the reminder of what had happened before wobbling out to the sink to fix yourself up. 

Your eyes still looked bloodshot but it wasn’t notable as long as someone didn’t stare for long, you rinsed your mouth out with the sink water, gurgling a few times as you gagged while spitting it out, the raw burn of your throat a reminder of what had just happened. 

Opening the door you jumped a little to see the sight of Jimin leaning against the wall with one foot, arms crossed as his eyes landed on you, a frown quirking onto his lips as he sighed, “...You...look like you’ve seen better days.” He picked his words carefully, “You good?” 

You closed your eyes briefly, trying to ignore the churn of your stomach already despite having just thrown up, “As well as I can be, I just...Sorry I didn’t mean to push you, I just uh...threw up.” You gave a weak smile as Jimin examined your figure, “Sorry. It’s just been a long night.” 

He nodded understandingly, “Well I’m sure your body is already going through a lot as it is, you should really lay down and rest.” You sighed at his words, glancing away from him as you rubbed your forehead. 

“I told Diego i’d be at breakfast in the cafe....What are you doing here?” You pressed your brows together as you tilted your head, why was Jimin here anyways? You had been in too much of a rush to think much of it before.

Jimin snorted, “I was going to breakfast but after you rushed past me I figured I’d stay behind to check on you. Like I said, you look like you’ve seen better days. Who cares about Diego? I’m sure he won’t be hurt if you skip.” 

“...Well yeah but…” You trailed off with a frown causing Jimin to peer at you somewhat confused as you sighed, stepping closer to him as you lowered your voice, “...You’re the only one I’m going to tell but...Something is going on here Jimin,” You glanced up at him, your gaze serious and even boarding harsh as you continued, “And I’m going to find out what it is and stop it.” 

Jimin’s gaze hardened a little as he frowned, “Y/n…” He shook his head a little in disdain as you scoffed while stepping away from him. Why was it everyone was so fucking scared? This wasn’t right! Whatever it was! “These people are dangerous...Be careful. I need to go get breakfast for myself and Rosé but...just be careful okay? There’s a reason a lot of us just leave it alone.” His gaze was a silent warning as you nodded reservedly before you let Jimin walk past you. 

Sighing you pinched the bridge of your nose. Why must everything be so secretive?

Breakfast hour was always Jungkook’s favorite part of Seasonella, free food and he could officially go and sleep off the ache of his body for the rest of the day before rinse repeat in this scenario. It was normal to eat with said client and no matter how annoying it was Jungkook would tolerate it when you were just in eyesight. 

No matter how much it pissed him off. You wouldn’t meet his gaze and he knew exactly why, your neck was shamelessly covered in hickies and there was a slight limp in your walk when you showed up, oddly by yourself and it for a moment made every sense in his body tell him to go sit with you and coddle you.

 It was like his conversation with Eva the night before hadn’t even existed, either she was truly dense or she was cooking something up. 

Jungkook didn’t like the way she smiled and laughed with all of her friends, some passing jokes to each other in hopes of maybe buttering him up about how good he was in bed to get one more round in before he’d call it quits. But no amount of jokes or compliments were getting him to budge. He had managed a few smiles and jokes as well but nothing more than playful banter. 

He kept his gaze towards you minimally, but he felt somewhat useless when his gaze met yours, had you been looking at him too? 

Jungkook could feel his outer charming mask begin to crumble at the way your lips quivered and your eyes shooting back down to your untouched food. The sudden need to touch you, to hold you filling his veins. His fingers began to thrum against the table in impatience before he checked his phone, he couldn’t wait, it was nearly killing him.

Jungkook swallowed thickly at how sharp and dry your words over text were, were you actually okay. You hadn’t looked at him once when you got up from the table, your food untouched as you left. He could only sigh and endure the rest of breakfast until he was finally free of Eva’s claws the rest of the day. 

Jungkook’s body was objecting to every sluggish step he took back to his room, it had been awhile since he actually pulled an all nighter, well into the morning hours without any sleep whatsoever. Rubbing his eyes he yawned as he opened the door, quietly closing it as he felt his once tense muscles relaxed at the familiar sight. 

You were curled up against the bed, the large hoody- his as a matter of fact, drowning your body and the hood pulled over your head while you buried in the large pillows. Jungkook felt his lips curve a little into a soft smile as he changed out of his sticky previously sweat stained clothes, feeling relieved to just be comfortable once more as he drew the large thick currents over the window to darken the room before he sat down on the bed. His hand gently stroking your waist. 

What he hadn’t expected was the violent jolt from you before jerking away making him frown. Jungkook had anticipated you wanting his touch after such an...intense night but, maybe he was wrong... His jaw clenched slightly at the way your body tensed and didn’t seem to relax at the realization he was in bed with you. He didn’t even want to think about what you went through last night. 

Not wanting to push your comfort zone Jungkook sighed as he laid down on his side of the bed, your back was turned to him and you hadn’t even greeted him yet. Oh well, words didn’t need to be spoken. Jungkook could only let his gaze longingly stare against your figure that was curled away from him. God he just wanted to hold you, now he couldn’t even do that. 

....

Your mind felt fuzzy, that kind of drowsiness you wake up with when you decide to take a nap at an odd hour and when you wake up you don’t know what time it is and if it’s day or night. You groaned as you rolled over, your muscles gripping at the sight of an empty bed. Where did Jungkook go? 

You were aware you hadn’t been...the kindest...but maybe you were just still reeling from last night. That didn’t mean you didn’t want to see him though...You felt yourself relax at the sight of Jungkook appearing from the bathroom, his lips quirking up a little at the sight of your half awake figure. 

“I have a bath running, we need to get you cleaned up.” Jungkook sat down on the side of the bed as he let his hand stroke through your hair, your body flinched a little at the contact, your poor scalp was still sore from how much Diego had pulled on your hair. Jungkook frowned before tenderly letting his fingers run along your scalp. 

“Thanks.” You replied dryly, a tiny bit of humor detected in your tone while letting your lips tug into a tiny smile, it was hard to keep a straight face when you were around Jungkook, even like this. It was something Jungkook seemed to return so easily, his fingers sliding down to your cheek to gently stroke along it. 

“That’s not what I meant,” He clacked his tongue, trying to give you a scolding look but failing as his lips twisted into a smile, “C’mere,” Jungkook internally sighed, his heart broke for you, he could see how much you were struggling to not instinctively push him away as your body tensed and flinched as he picked you up. You really were trying your best to relax in his grip as he carried you to the bathroom, “It’s not about you being dirty, it’s about me not wanting you to get an infection.” 

Jungkook already had a fresh set of clothes folded neatly on the closed toilet seat as he set you on the counter, tugging off the sweatshirt that covered your body as he sighed. His lips unable to stay smiling as they twisted into a sad frown at the hickies your body sported and bruises on your hips in the shape of fingers.

 “I get it. It was a lot,” He mumbled as he pulled out a hairbrush from his bag that laid on the ground, gently untangling your hair as he refused to meet your gaze, “But I’d never hurt you baby. You know that right? I don’t want you to ever think I’d make you do something you don’t want too. I don’t want to know what happened last night, but I’ll never treat you the way he did.” 

Your shoulders kept tensing and relaxing over and over again as Jungkook finished brushing your hair, finally glancing down at you as he sighed, tears were beginning to streak down your face as you closed your eyes, “I feel so fucking gross.” You finally relented, your hands shaking as you pressed them into your eyes, “I...I...Jungkook...I feel so disgusting.” 

And you did, you felt ruined. Like you didn’t deserve to even be in the same room as Jungkook at the moment. Why would he even want you now? After...after last night...Jungkook hushed you gently as he wrapped his arms around you tenderly pressing a kiss against your head, his heart lurching and it hurt with every beat at the tears you cried, “Shhh, it’ll be okay baby. Just tonight and we’re done. Shhh, don’t cry baby.” 

For the first time you had craved his warmth all over again, letting his arms tighten around you as he cradled you close, peppering kisses against your hair before eventually coaxing you into the nice warm tub. 

It felt normal, as if you weren’t at Seasonella or like Diego and Eva never happened. It was just you and Jungkook, his arms still loosely wrapped around you, his fingers dancing along your skin beneath the water soothingly and his lips occasionally pecking softly against the hickies. As if to make them feel better, as if to make them his even if they weren’t. 

After a hefty amount of coaxing Jungkook had finally gotten you to give in, your fists clenched as you sucked in a sharp breath, “What happens in this bathtub, stays in this bathtub by the way.” You heard him chuckle as you whined, pressing your forehead against the cold tile of the wall, “Do I need stitches? It feels like I do.”

Jungkook sighed as if him staring at your asshole with cheeks spread open was something he did everyday, “No you don’t need stitches. There’s some blood, yeah but that’s just because he didn’t properly prep you. Poor baby.” He let go of your cheeks before letting his hand gently rub against the bruised surface, “I’ll clean it up, outside of it hurting there’s nothing actually wrong. Luckily we can get you some medicine for that.” 

You winced as he spread them back open. You never in your life, thought you’d be in a bathtub with your asscheeks spread just so Jungkook could clean you up. You thought you had gotten past any sort of embarrassment you’d ever feel around Jungkook yet it seemed like he lived to prove you wrong. You sucked in another breath as you felt the soft warm bath cloth rub against the aching puckered ring. 

“There, all better.” Jungkook set the bathcloth down before tenderly grabbing your waist, guiding you to sit back down in the nice soothingly hot water as he pressed another kiss against your neck, “Can’t believe he’d actually do that to you.” He gritted his teeth as he muttered under his breath.

You shifted a little, nibbling against your lip, you knew that wasn’t his invitation to getting you to talk about it but… “It was dark….I doubt he realized it was blood…” You mumbled, you could feel his skin tense beneath you as he huffed. 

“If there was blood involved you can’t tell me you weren’t crying.” Jungkook tried to keep his voice a steady note but he could feel his anger beginning to rise, just the idea made him sick to his stomach. 

You didn’t have the heart to mention he was right, you had cried while mumbling your safeword a fair amount of times when anal got involved, maybe if you had just said something he’d....But did you even want his comfort though? No, you gritted your teeth and dealt with it because you wanted that disgusting human being away from you as soon as he blew his load. 

Jungkook pulled you out of the water, wrapping a warm fluffy towel around you as he carefully dried you off, saying no more on the subject as it was clear neither of you really wanted to talk about it. No, you just wanted to enjoy what time you could with him.

Pulling on the fresh pair of panties and Jungkook helped you tug on the comfy gym shorts before pulling the nice warm sweatshirt over your head, it smelt like him, your favorite smell. 

Sitting down in bed you patiently waited for Jungkook as he typed in the password on your laptop, intending to put something on for you both to watch as he set in on the bed, a knock on the door making you both alert.

You glanced at Jungkook in confusion as he gave you a weak smile, “I know you said you weren’t hungry but baby...you need to eat something.” You frowned a little as you tugged on a strand of hair. Opening the door he pulled out his wallet, paying for the food before closing the door behind him. Taking a seat on the bed as he opened up the takeout boxes, you wouldn’t deny the glee that entered your body at the sight of Chow Mein and Shrimp. 

One bite into your food though immediately made your stomach lurch, your hand squeezing against the wooden chopsticks as you forced yourself to swallow. Jungkook was right, you needed to eat something. It didn’t matter how tasty it was though, it made you sick to your stomach the more you ate. 

One more bite and you had to put down your chopsticks, Jungkook frowned as he noticed your hand covering your mouth, “Hey, you okay baby?” He couldn’t even finish his words before you were already scrambling off the bed at your stomach lurching and your throat constricting. You barely made it to the toilet before you were already throwing up what little you had eaten, dry heaving despite nothing coming up.

You couldn’t stand when people tried to comfort you when you were throwing up and Jungkook got a good taste of that when he attempted the first time he witnessed you hungover. Your vision was blurred with tears as you spat up the vile taste that lingered in your mouth, after a few moments Jungkook entered the bathroom as you wiped your mouth with toilet paper, tossing it carelessly in before weakly pulling the handle. 

Your body trembled as he sighed, pressing a kiss on top of your head, “You good?” He sat down as he wrapped his arms loosely around you. 

“Y-yeah, I just haven’t been able to keep anything down.” Your body trembled once more as you curled against him, letting him pick you up before delicately carrying you back to bed. 

Leaned against him you weakly curled up as you sighed, your head was beginning to throb once more and your stomach ached with a lingering aftertaste of vomit, god you felt so weak and Chow Mein was not as good as you remembered it tasting. Closing your eyes once more you relaxed on top of Jungkook’s laid out figure, his hand tenderly stroking your back as you nudged into his neck. You’d be happy when all of this was over.

Note: I got way too impatient and just decided to post this chapter a few hours early, not that y’all are complaining 😂 Let me know what you guys think about everything going on! It’s a lot to take in! 🖤

(Taglist: Due to a bug on my blog nobody will receive notifications from my taglist so I’ve decided to skip it this update, should things return to normal on my blog the taglist will resume!)

[lune-hime]

Garden of Tulips (Levi/Reader) Tea Time # 2 ~ Shower Mishap

~Click me for more chapters~

“What did it look like?”

“Hmm?” Levi looked up from his place next to your sleeping form. “The titan that tried to snack on my darling granddaughter.” “Ugly as fuck.” “Aren’t they all?”

Levi recounts memories of the reader and their shared life together while she recovers from a serious injury.

!!WARNINGS!! - Violence, gore, smut, wholesome content ;)

So these little Tea Times were written as little filler-memory chapters to place in between the main story line.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Y/N.” Hange drawled. She clumsily attempted to sit cross legged along the dining hall bench, her legs not quite folding correctly. When she almost tipped over the side, Erwin used his quick reflexes to snag her by the arm and place her upright. You sloppily turned your head to give her as much undivided attention that your remaining active brain cells could muster.

“Please enlighten everyone on the shower story.” Her request brought a giddy smile to her lips. Levi immediately cast you a quizzical look, his gaze drowning in beer. Your face heated up like an oiled saucepan but thanks to the excessive drinking it made no difference to your already rosy complexion.

“But it might be too unprofessional for the Commander.” You shot a sassy look at Hange over Levi who was seated between the two of you. Alcohol was quite the bold word choice inducer as you definitely would not have phrased your sentence with so much gusto if you were sober.

“What in the fucking hell  kind of story is this?” Levi asked darkly, his pupils dilated so far they eclipsed their usual silver. There was a preciseness to his phrase despite it being slurred. Indeed, the only soul at the table who knew of your unintentional shower adventure was your former squad leader. Erwin chuckled softly and Mike quirked an eyebrow at you.

“We drink as friends tonight, Y/N. No one will get you in trouble for just telling a story-” Erwin began his explanation calmly but paused when he locked eyes with Levi’s burning glare. It took what was left of his composure to refrain himself from laughing at the tiny fireball across the table.

“But only tell it if you are comfortable doing so.” The commander flashed a dazzling smile before taking a hearty swig of his drink. The man may have been inebriated but he was still so much more put together than the rest of you. Well, with the exception of Mike of course.

“It’s not that bad, don’t worry about it Vivi.” You reassured the steaming man between giggles. You reached up to gingerly pat his cheek a couple times, his glare turning into an intensely childish pout that he would definitely deny later.

“So you’ll tell it?” Hange chittered, practically vibrating with excitement. You nodded lazily, swaying a bit but steadied by Levi’s secure arm around your waist.

“Okay so, it was during my first few months as a cadet-”

↞♞♘↠

You had come to terms with the fact that you were going to be tired on a daily basis. Since you had joined the cadets it was nonstop physical and tactical training that bored into the innermost parts of your brain and body, immersing you in a constant state of exhaustion. Your grandmother’s war stories about her painful life in the military were indeed accurate (well, yours were much less scandalous than hers); it’s no joke how far the organization pushes every limb, muscle, fiber, and atom within your being.

Which was why you couldn’t be happier that you had an hour of free time to shower after your training session before you had to meet your mentor. Plush towel hanging off your shoulder, you rounded the corner of one of the many hallways of the vast compound and practically skipped into the bathing area.

The steam from the showers was thick at first and obscured the space as you passed through the initial chamber to enter the main bathing area. The only element of the atmosphere that told you other cadets were occupying the room was their loud banter and laughter. Only, it wasn’t the feminine voices you were accustomed to hearing and you’re pretty sure you just heard Connie’s na-

“Y/N!?!?!” A voice shrieked, immediately scuttling to the side upon discovering your arrival. When your vision adjusted to the thick steam, your eyes widened in shock when you spotted Eren's very exposed form through the haze.

"Ohmygodohmygod, Eren I'm so sor-" You blabbed, immediately trying to look anywhere but the boy's nether regions. Before the split second it would have taken to cover your eyes, you were startled by an immense figure in your personal space. The shadow gave you zero time to shield yourself from the Michaelangelo’s David that was possibly the cockiest cadet on the premises.  

"Y/N, I didn't know you were so bold. Come to play?" Reiner cooed, smirk widening as he watched your face heat up to the scalding temperature of their showers. He made no effort to hide his manhood, as Eren did, and actually attempted to emphasize it by propping his leg up against one of the benches littered throughout the bath. You were frozen in embarrassment and as much as you wanted to punch him right in the spot he most yearned for you to gaze upon, you couldn't do it.

"Walls, Reiner do you have any shame?" You spat back, your muscles still seized up with your beyond awkward encounter.

"None if it comes to you, sweetheart." He chuckled confidently. Before you could quip back another response, a blur shouting your name dashed towards you and turned your vision black. The hands over your eyes became your sole protector from the copious amounts of naked men.

“I know you are dumb, but you really need to watch where you are going.” Jean scolded from behind you in a hushed tone. You let out the balloon of a breath you had been internalizing. If you hadn’t believed in angels before, Jean sure as hell was your angel now. He abruptly turned around and began waddling the two of you towards the entrance when you heard agile footsteps circling around you. Jean suddenly halted, the unexpected loss of movement sending you flailing.

“Hold up, Jean. Maybe she knew exactly where she was going.” Reiner purred. You felt Jean’s breath quicken against your ear and his grip on your temple tightened momentarily. You didn’t need to physically see Reiner’s face to picture the shit-eating smirk edging its way into his features.

“If you wanted me, Y/N, all you had to do was ask.”

The sound of wet feet against tile grew closer until you felt unwanted puffs of air leaving feather-light touches on your face. Jean suddenly flung you sideways like a cooked noodle, placing himself between you and Reiner and causing you to squeak in surprise.

“Fuck off Reiner. She doesn’t want to see your tiny dick.”  Jean spat back. A chorus of snickers resounded through the bathroom.

“She was trying hard just a moment ago to avoid the temptation.” Reiner huffed. His arrogance was like a tough stain that you couldn’t get out, no matter how hard you scrubbed.

“Sadly, I did see it and Jean’s right.” You groaned. Your best friend let out a snort followed by the laughter you could feel rumbling from his chest.

“You must not have gotten a good look at it then-”

"If you don't get out of our way, no one will get the minute pleasure of seeing your dick again." Jean sarcastically threatened.

"Please, Reiner, give it a rest." A soft voice pleaded to your right. You recognized it as a familiar cadet, one Jean had grown quite close to.

"Everyone else besides you is uncomfortable here." Marco's even tone was music to your reddened ears. There was a palpable silence of which you presumed was the soundtrack to an alpha male staring contest. Then, Reiner huffed and backed off seeing that the odds were against him.

"Fine, fine. You know you can always call on me Y/N." Reiner chided before sauntering back into the shower.

"The only call he'll be getting is from the infirmary." You grumbled under your breath.

“Can’t keep it in his pants for five minutes can he?” Jean scoffed lowly as he began leading you to the doorway.

“I mean he’s not wearing pants…” You mumbled, still trying to recover from the overwhelming shock and embarrassment. Jean stopped you at the entrance to the connecting hallway.

"When I let go, don't you dare look behind you." Jean warned, playfully swaying you back and forth.

"Okay just let me go!" You sputtered and swatted his arms before he released you.

You fixed your gaze on the tile walls and heaved a sigh of relief.

"Thanks Jean, I owe you one." You said, voice regaining its composure.

"Whatever, just buy me some food when we go into town next." He replied. You heard him turn around and begin padding back to the showers when you realized your shoulder was missing a fluffy presence. Your towel must have fallen off during your steamy showdown.

"Jean wait!!" You exclaimed. You turned around and in the waning of your flustered hysteria forgot you were technically still in the boy's bathroom. Both your and Jean's eyes almost popped out of their sockets.

"Shit, Y/N what did I say???" Jean exclaimed, hands immediately flying to cover his crotch. You breathed a heavy exhale, feeling the flames scorching your cheeks once more.

"Dammit, I'm sorry! My towel fell-" You sputtered and cursed at yourself for letting the heat flood your brain cells too.

"Ah! Y/N-" Marco appeared with your towel, only he was sporting his birthday suit as well. Oh, this could not get any worse. You were the embodiment of a beet, cheeks puffing in fear and eyes screwing shut.

"I have your towel, I was going to place it by the doorway but-um-here." Marco gently grabbed your hand and placed the towel in it. He laughed nervously and retreated back into the bath.

You turned back around to face opposite of the doorway and slumped your head into your hands exasperatedly.

"You good now?" Jean checked, slight annoyance evident in his tone.

"No." You whimpered in utter mortification.

“Reiner’s just a dick who thinks that everyone wants to see his own.” Jean said with a roll of his eyes.

"It was an accident, so don't worry. Plus this gives me prime blackmail material." He snickered. You shot him the middle finger over your shoulder.

“How am I going to face anyone in that room anymore?” You groaned sadly, the last three minutes of excitement playing on an endless loop within your mortified mind.

“Easy, if they bring it up just kick them on any part of their body you saw today.” Jean snickered.

“But I saw every-” You started to protest and then gasped in horror. Your humiliated expression deepened Jean’s smirk.

"We'll pretend it never happened. Now please, go to the proper bathroom before you play with the crazy lady. You stink."

↞↠

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” Hange asked, taking a break from poking at the titan’s dirtied toenail. When her apprentice approached the titan holding area she looked absolutely worn out.

“I have the extreme urge to scratch my eyes out.” You groaned, setting your bag of notes down and crouching in the grass next to her.

“Please don’t, today I need you to help me scratch Bean’s eye instead.”

↞♞♘↠

Levi’s grip threatened to shatter the glass pint as he brought it down onto the table with too much force.

“If we had been together when this happened I would have ripped off every one of their micro cadet penises.” He hissed, the alcohol turning into flames within his eyes.

There was a moment’s pause before the entire squad leader table erupted in laughter. The guffaw rattled the wood paneling and caused confused cadets to turn their heads in shock. Erwin accidentally snorted some of his beer and was now struggling with it coming out of his nose. Seeing the commander in such a state caused the same exact thing to happen to you, the burning of the alcohol hurt almost as much as your stomach did from hilarity. Mike kneed the table so hard that it sent his drink flying at Hange who moved out of the way to dodge it, only to smack into Levi’s chest. The action caused the two of them to double over and flip off the bench which only caused the rest of your table to create a larger cacophony.

Nights spent in cherished company like these were ones you held close to your heart.

[sevenstarsinning]

Sweat

Ch. 1 - Ch. 2 - Ch. 3 - Ch. 4 - Ch. 5 - Ch. 6

Chapter 7

The next few days were filled with lots and lots of self care. Your body was bruised and sore from their insatiable appetites. They bit and grabbed, sucked and pinched at your fragile body and you had the marks to prove it. The bruises were finally starting to lighten but you still made a point to avoid the general public. You assumed Vegeta was staying away out of guilt, and honestly you were partially in hiding for the same reason. It had also been a while since you’d seen Goku, which seemed odd.

You finally decided to rejoin civilization and find Goku. Mostly because you missed him but also because you needed to know if there was any weirdness. You knew a huge mistake was made and up to that point, it was easier to avoid facing it.

You knocked on Goku’s door and waited anxiously, itching to kiss and touch him again.

The door opened and your heart sank when it was Kyla that greeted you.

“Um, sorry, I’m looking for Goku. Is he home?” You couldn’t shake the panicked feeling in your stomach, especially after you saw the marks down the side of her neck.

Your anxiety convinced you it was from Goku, even though logic said it was probably from Vegeta.

“He’s in the shower.” She answered but gave nothing else away.

All logical thoughts went right out the window and you were in full panicked mode.

“Where’s Vegeta?”

“No idea, we broke up,” she answered, too calm for comfort.

“Are you and… did Goku do that?” Your mind raced and your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest.

“And what if he did?”

“Kyla… ” your voice cracked and tears started to form, “not him.”

The gravity of the situation and the repercussions began to sink in.

“Funny, that’s exactly what I was thinking every time you were around Vegeta. You didn’t give a shit.”

“I-I never-” you shook your head, either from trying to deny that there was anything between you and Vegeta or trying to wake yourself from this nightmare.

“Oh really? You never kissed him? Or fucked him? You deserve everything you’re feeling right now because that’s exactly what I’m going through.” She sneered.

“You fucking bitch. Why Goku? Why him? He doesn’t deserve any of this, he just… he just wanted me, not this bullshit.” You were starting to feel like your lungs had collapsed.

“Kyla? What’s going on?” Goku descended the stairs, pants hanging low on his hips while he continued to dry his hair with a towel.

“She finally showed up,” Kyla said, stepping aside.

“Would you mind giving us a minute to talk?” Goku asked, resting his hand on Kyla’s back.

“Yeah, whatever. I’ll be upstairs.” She gave you one final glare before she turned away.

“Before you get more upset, she’s been staying here since Vegeta broke up with her. She needed a friend.”

“I remember when you told Vegeta I needed a friend and you were there for me.” You couldn’t stop the tears from falling.

“Why didn’t you come by sooner?” He asked.

“So this is my fault? Since I didn’t visit you sooner you decided to shove your dick in someone else?” You basically shouted at Goku, something you never thought you’d do.

“Wait, what are you talking about? I didn’t-”

“Come on, Goku! I’m not that fucking stupid!” The tears continued to flow as you processed everything.

“I haven’t done that with her, she really just needed a friend.” He reached out for you and as much as you wanted to pull away, you couldn’t.

“You don’t have to lie to spare my feelings.” You sniffled against his chest, hating the way he instantly made you feel safe.

“I’m not. I only wanna do that with you,” he tightened his arms around you, “is that why you’re mad? You think I had sex with her?”

“What the fuck else am I supposed to think?”

“That I only think about you that way and I don’t want anyone else?” He said as if it should’ve been obvious.

You pulled away from him, tears still streaming. “You can’t fucking be real. No one is like this.”

“I am.” He flashed your favorite big goofy grin.

You had so much more to say, but none of it mattered. You grabbed his face and pulled him down into a kiss, pouring everything you had into that moment. His arms immediately snaked around you as he hoisted you up against his chest.

“You guys are disgusting,” Kyla said as she passed by to go to the kitchen.

“You said we were cute,” Goku called back.

“That was a goddamn secret, Goku, what the fuck?!” She shouted back. He pulled you into the house and closed the door.

“Sorry,” he laughed and pulled you into his lap on the couch.

“Whatever. Is the bitch staying for dinner because I’m not cooking for her.”

You were still trying to wrap your head around what was happening. Kyla seemed so at home in Goku’s house but you also knew he wasn’t lying to you.

“Just make a lot in case Yamcha comes over,” he replied before pulling you into a heated kiss.

“Yamcha?” You pulled away from his lips.

“Yeah, they’re kind of a thing now.” He shrugged and nuzzled against your neck.

“What the fuck? How long was I gone?” You felt like you’d missed a lifetime of information.

“Too long.” Goku held you closer, shifting beneath you so you could feel just how badly he’d missed you.

“Goku-” you felt odd having his dick rubbing against your ass with Kyla in the next room.

“Maybe we shouldn’t right now?” You said in a low voice.

“Yeah, I really don’t give a fuck. Do whatever you want, that’s kinda your thing, isn’t it?” Kyla shot back from the kitchen.

“Is she like this when I’m not here?” You asked loud enough for her to hear.

“Maybe you should leave and find out?” She yelled.

“Would it be better to go to my house?” You asked Goku, running your fingers along his jaw.

“Not at all, let’s go to my room.” He held you close and lifted you up with him when he stood.

“We’ll be upstairs for a while, Kyla, just leave the leftovers out for us,” Goku said as he carried you towards the stairs.

“I’ll leave them out for you, not her.”

“Bitch.” You grumbled.

“Slut.” She called out.

You opened your mouth to yell back but Goku silenced you with a kiss. He continued up the stairs and towards his room. You wrapped your arms around his neck and deepened the kiss.

He kicked his door closed behind him and lowered you to your feet.

“I missed you so much,” you said, pulling him into another kiss.

“I missed you too. I’ve needed you so bad,” he whined, pulling at your clothes.

“Why didn’t you come see me?” You asked between heated kisses.

“Thought you wanted to be alone.” He answered and trailed his lips down your neck.

He continued to paw at your clothes, trying to get you naked as soon as possible.

“Lay down for me,” you whispered against his lips.

He pushed his sweats down and let them pool at his feet before he stepped out of them and spread out on the bed.

“Tell me how much you need me,” you said softly.

He kept his eyes glued to you while you finished taking your clothes off.

“I need you now, please don’t make me wait anymore.”

You let your clothes drop to the floor while your eyes roamed up and down his perfectly sculpted body. His cock was already hard and it was difficult not to jump on him.

"Tell me how much you missed me.” You placed one knee on the bed beside him.

“I missed you a lot. I couldn’t stop thinking about you and… I-I made myself come to the thought of you.”

You were losing the battle to restrain yourself but all you needed was a little more confirmation that he was still 100% yours.

“When was the last time you made yourself come thinking of me?” You crawled on top of him, seconds from losing control.

“When I showered. Right before you got here,” he openly admitted.

“And how many times have you done it today?” You ran your fingertips down his chest, desperate to feel him.

“Three times before the shower.” He said, running his hands up your thighs.

“My needy little saiyan,” you cooed. A faint whimper escaped his lips and he pulled you down.

“No one has ever made me feel as wanted as you do,” you whispered as you leaned closer to kiss him.

“I do want you. All the time. Really badly.” He spoke against your lips, his hands moving down to squeeze your ass.

“You could have anyone you wanted, you know that? Someone better than me. That ChiChi woman sounded perfect for you.” You remembered when he first mentioned her, you didn’t have a second thought, but now just the image of someone else touching him was almost unbearable.

“ChiChi is great but I haven’t heard from her in a while,” he revealed. You weren’t sure if that was comforting or worrying. Maybe she was going to show back up and you would lose Goku even though he was never yours to begin with.

“About what happened… with Vegeta. Are you okay with all of that?” You asked.

“It was kind of fun, but I didn’t like this.” He touched one of the faint marks on your neck, presumably one of Vegeta’s.

“You don’t like the marks?" 

"I don’t like his marks.” He corrected you, further claiming his possession of you.

“You could’ve said no to all of that. If you weren’t comfortable with it.” You caressed his cheek and suddenly felt another wave of guilt over the position you put him in with Vegeta. The guilt coming at you from all directions was slowly eating away at you.

“I wasn’t uncomfortable. I could see that you wanted it and I want to make you happy.”

“You’re too good for me.” You cupped his face, brushing your thumb along his jaw.

“You deserve better.” He replied.

“No, I really don’t. I’ve been such a piece of trash lately, I can’t even look at myself in the mirror.” The shame and guilt were becoming overwhelming.

“Why?” He asked, pulling you to his chest.

“I would say it’s because of the trouble I caused with Vegeta and that is definitely part of the reason, but the fact that I thoroughly enjoyed knowing that he wanted me that much makes me feel like a horrible person.”

Goku rubbed your back and remained silent while you got your feelings about the situation out.

“And fucking him while he was in a relationship? Pure garbage.” You were hating yourself more, especially knowing Kyla had been put out because of you.

“But all of that is nothing compared to everything I’ve done to you, Goku.” You felt the heaviness in your chest growing.

“I finally know what you mean when you say Kyla is a lot to handle,” he laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

“I completely lost it when I thought you were fucking her. But it was also very eye opening,” you sighed. There was absolutely no love lost between you and Kyla but her attitude towards you was justified, as hard as that was to admit to yourself.

“I really do only want you,” he said softly.

“You shouldn’t.” You shook your head.

You should’ve let him go, avoided ever seeing him again and letting him move on from you, but you just couldn’t.

“But I do.” He pulled you into a soft kiss, holding you against his chest with his hands moving down to your waist.

“Why?”

“Because you make me happy,” he said before kissing you again. It was the simplistic answer you expected from him. It wasn’t complicated or awkward, it was straightforward and appreciated because there wasn’t a second of hesitation.

“I’m sorry for hurting you.”

“You don’t have to apologize. I’m fine. I’m sorry for trying to make you mine when you wanted someone else.” He kissed you again, enjoying the softness of your lips. 

“I’m not sure I know what I want anymore.” You admitted.

“Is it bad that I hope it’s me?” He asked with an adorable smile.

“Not at all.” You cupped his face and kissed him. It amazed you that someone like Goku even existed. You didn’t feel deserving of having someone like him in your life.

“Can we fuck now?” He asked.

“Such a needy saiyan.” You smiled, scooting back enough to feel his cock against your ass.

“I’ve missed you a lot so I don’t know if I can be soft.” He explained, gripping your hips.

“That’s okay, take what you need,” you said with a smile to reassure him.

You reached down and gripped his cock, moving the tip up and down your cunt to gather a little wetness.

You finally let the tip of his cock slide into you, both of you groaning like it was the first time. It had been too long.

“Fuck, Goku. Has your cock gotten bigger?” You eased down onto him more.

“I don’t think so,” he said, face scrunched up while he thought more about it.

You kept lowering yourself until he was all the way inside of you. “You feel so fucking good.”

Goku kept his eyes on you, his hands slowly sliding up and down your sides. 

“I’ve missed you so much.” You moaned.

“Want me to turn ultra instinct?” He asked.

“Not yet, I just need you like this for a while.” You rested your hands on his chest and moved a little faster.

“But you love ultra instinct, I don’t mind,” he offered.

“Yes, that’s true, but I also love… ” you trailed off, realizing exactly what you were about to say.

“Your base form is just as amazing,” you corrected.

Goku cocked his head to the side, a little confused, “I didn’t think you liked it as much.”

You moved slower and leaned down against his chest, “I’m starting to prefer it.” You kissed him softly and continued to circle your hips.

His hands moved down your back to cup your ass while you kissed him. He was being so gentle until you clenched around his cock. He abruptly flipped over, putting you on your back.

He looked at you with that adorable needy face and you were powerless against it. Saying no wasn’t even an option.

“Fuck me, Goku.”

You didn’t have to say it again as he eased out of you and slammed back in. The snap of his hips made you moan and clench around his cock again. He was still holding back and you wanted him to let go.

“Harder. I can take it.” You reassured him.

He began thrusting a little harder each time. You couldn’t stop the moans that came out. Having him inside of you again was the best feeling.

“I really hope I get to breed you one day,” he grunted before slamming into you again.

“I want you to… just not right now.” You admitted in the middle of pure bliss.

Your words seemed to strike something within him as he fucked you a little harder. He pushed his cock deeper with each thrust, short pants against your neck.

Taking you by surprise, Goku came first, as if he completely lost control. He groaned against your neck as his cum filled you.

“Fuck, Goku,” you panted. Knowing he couldn’t keep himself from coming turned you on even more.

“S-Sorry. I just missed you too much I guess.” He kept his cock inside of you until he was finished.

“It’s okay. I know you’ll be good to go again soon.” You smiled.

“Let me fix it.” He pulled out of you and slid down your body until his face was directly in line with your pussy.

“You don’t have to do-”

The words were cut short when his tongue slid up your cunt. He didn’t care that his cum was dripping out of you, he just wanted to make sure you were satisfied.

“Shit,” you gasped when his tongue moved faster.

He had you clutching the sheets in no time as he devoured you. His tongue moved quickly and you couldn’t hold back the barrage of moans that slipped through.

“G-Goku… fuck… don’t stop. Don’t fucking stop…” You screamed and came hard within a few more swipes of his tongue.

He cleaned you up with slow laps of his tongue while you recovered from your overwhelming orgasm.

“Fuck… that was… fuck,” you laughed, unable to form whole sentences.

He kissed his way up your body and settled next to you on the bed.

You turned to face him, both of your chests heaving as you both struggled to regain control over your breathing.

“You really are amazing.” You finally spoke, breaking the silence.

His cheeks flushed and he laughed, “you’re amazing too.”

You scooted up close and kissed him, desperate for all of the affection he was willing to give.

“Hey, fuckers, dinner is done. Come stuff your faces so I don’t have to hear you fuck,” Kyla said from outside the door.

“Does she have to be so rude?” You asked him.

“She’s not so bad if you can get past that part.” He shrugged and jumped out of the bed.

He helped you get dressed quickly, obviously excited about the food.

“I have my doubts, Goku. Especially because you don’t even dislike the people that have tried to kill you.”

“I think everyone deserves another chance.” He shrugged and smacked your ass.

Yamcha was lounging on the couch looking completely at home when you emerged from the stairs.

“Look who it is. Thought one of you was dying up there.” He chided.

“That’s what an orgasm sounds like, not that you’d know.” You rolled your eyes and followed Goku into the kitchen.

“Harsh but I can appreciate a good burn,” Yamcha said.

“I already made you a plate, Goku.” Kyla pointed to the mountain of food on a plate next to the stove. You couldn’t help but notice she didn’t even put an empty plate out for you.

“Wanna eat off my plate?” Goku asked, licking his lips as he eyed the food.

“We’ve tried that before, it didn’t work out too well, remember?”

“Oh, yeah. Guess I don’t like sharing food.” He laughed.

He almost took off one of your fingers last time and you weren’t keen on having it happen again.

“I’ll get my own plate.” You shuffled through the cabinets until you found the plates, Kyla offering nothing as she watched you.

You were hoping to retreat back upstairs but Goku was too distracted by his food as he sat down at the table. You pulled out the chair next to him. Having dinner with Kyla and Yamcha was not something you ever thought would happen.

About halfway through dinner, you dropped your fork, turning your attention to Kyla. “Will you ever stop glaring at me? Seriously, hate me all you want, I don’t care, but stop looking at me like that.”

“Maybe I’ll stop when you stop being such a slut.” She shot back.

“Seriously?” You weren’t exactly surprised but it was annoying.

“Vegeta told me everything. You couldn’t wait until we broke up?" 

You wanted to tell her he made the first move, but it didn’t matter.

"You know what, Kyla,” you thought about everything and the guilt you felt, “I’m… I’m sorry. I truly am.”

“Sorry doesn’t mean shit, you made the choice, now you live with my hatred,” she shot back.

Goku and Yamcha remained silent, focused solely on their plates to avoid getting pulled in.

“That’s fine. I hate you too for everything you did to twist and manipulate my best friend.” You were stirring the pot but being open about everything felt great at the time.

“I didn’t know that meant you could go around spreading your legs for every man you felt bad for.” She sneered.

Goku glanced at you with a mouthful of food, clearly questioning your motives with him.

“Unlike you, I’m not into pity fucks,” you said, glancing in Yamcha’s direction.

“What the hell did I ever do to you?” Yamcha exclaimed with a mouthful of food.

“Do you really want me to talk about the shit you pulled at Bulma’s party just so you could get her to fuck you again?”

“If we’re telling secrets then why don’t I tell Kyla the real reason you were fucking Goku?” Yamcha shouted back.

“Guys-” Goku said, mouth full of food and trying to keep the peace.

“It’s not like she doesn’t already know by now.”

“No, enlighten us. Why have you been fucking Goku, especially now that you can have Vegeta?” Kyla said.

“My reasons have changed but that’s none of your business, so back the fuck off,” you said, raising your voice little by little.

“Answer the question, I wanna know,” Goku said, taking you totally by surprise.

“It’s not something I want to discuss in front of them.” You said, trying to get him to wait.

“I think she’s lying.” Kyla added fuel to the fire.

“It’s between us, not you two.” You snapped.

“Something you’re trying to hide?” Yamcha asked. Having the three of them waiting for an answer was panic inducing.

“I’m not trying to hide anything, I just need time to figure shit out.”

Goku leaned closer and spoke low, “I really do wanna know, but I can wait.”

“Don’t let her off that easy. She needs to tell you instead of dragging you along.” Kyla snapped.

“Can you stop being a bitch for like 2 seconds?” You shouted.

“Not until you admit that you’re a selfish slut that doesn’t want anyone else to have them!” Kyla stood, kicking her chair back in the process.

“It’s not like that!” You shouted back, standing up and matching her anger.

“Really? Then what would you call fucking my boyfriend and your fuck buddy at the same time and then having the audacity to be upset at the thought of Goku fucking me?!”

“I had no intention of - ”

“Don’t even fucking say it! You wanted Vegeta so goddamn bad you were willing to mess up his relationship!” Kyla looked seconds from crawling over the table to fight and you were more than ready to defend yourself.

You hated the entire situation but you were fuming. Stooping low was never something you enjoyed, but she was pissing you off.

“Maybe Vegeta wouldn’t have fucked me so easily if he was actually happy with you.”

She glared at you for a split second before launching herself across the table at you. Goku grabbed you and pulled you out of the way before she reached you.

“You never even gave us a fucking chance! You were always there pulling his attention away, asking him to hang out when you knew we had plans,” she screamed while Yamcha held her back.

“So that’s why he was always coming to me frustrated from some bullshit you pulled?” You yelled from behind Goku. He was holding you in place and you were powerless to break free.

“You fucking bitch! He only came to you because you were always feeding him bullshit about me!” She struggled against Yamcha, trying to get to you.

“I didn’t have to feed him shit. He knew what kind of person you were!” You fought to get to her, but Goku held firm.

“Goku, we may need to split them up. I’m not sure how much longer I can hold her.��� Yamcha said through gritted teeth as Kyla continued to fight.

Goku pressed his fingers to his forehead and the training field materialized around you.

“Goku, I love you but if you don’t take me back there right now I’m going to lose my shit worse than I already am!”

He stared blankly at you for a moment, “um, you love me?" 

Your eyes went wide and you snapped your hand over your mouth quickly, wishing to take back every word that you’d said in the last five seconds.

"Do you?” He asked again, clearly needing some confirmation.

You kept your hand over your mouth to avoid saying anything that might complicate the situation even more.

“It’s okay if you don’t… ” he trailed off. The sadness on his normally happy face was heartbreaking. You already knew the answer to his question.

“I do,” your voice cracked and tears were seconds from falling because everything was so fucked but two things were abundantly clear, you loved him and he deserved better.

He looked as though he was expecting something different to come out and it took him a minute to process what you said.

“You- You do?” It was almost as if he didn’t fully believe it.

“Yes, but… I love you, but you deserve someone so much better than me, Goku.”

“But you’re the best and I don’t want anyone else. Isn’t that enough?” He asked, confused by your back and forth.

“Yes, that’s enough but… ” you struggled to find the words to explain your hesitation, “I still have feelings for Vegeta that I need to face.”

“Do you love him the same way you love me?”

You knew the answer, you’d known it for a long time, but it wasn’t that simple to explain.

“I-Its more complex than that.”

Goku thought about your answer before closing the distance between you and pulling you closer, “I love you too. Only you.” His hand brushed against the side of your cheek.

His words made you feel even more like shit, knowing he only wanted you but you weren’t entirely sure you only wanted him.

“Goku, I need you to let me do something and I know it’s not fair to you but I have to figure this out,” your voice trembled, unable to hide the fear that what you were about to say would be the end.

“What is it?” He asked, weary of what he was about to hear.

“I need some time with Vegeta.”

“Oh…” He said as his gaze dropped from yours.

You cupped his face and pulled him back to meet your eyes, “I need to do this so I can be sure. I still love you.” It felt odd saying it out loud like it was nothing.

“Will you come back to me?” The sadness in his eyes was almost unbearable.

“I… I can’t answer that.” Your heart was shattering into a million pieces. Goku never deserved to get hurt or used and the fact that you were the one hurting him was unbearable.

“Okay… do you want me to take you to him?” He asked, barely making eye contact with you.

“Goddammit, Goku. Can you not be fucking perfect please? Make this easier on me.” You began to sob and your legs weakened.

You covered your face as you cried, wondering what you did to deserve him and why you kept hurting him.

“I just want you to be happy.” He said in a small voice.

You sniffled and looked up at him, “aren’t you mad? Don’t you hate me for what I’ve done to you and Vegeta?”

“I love you, how could I hate you? Besides, you were honest with me from the beginning.” He stepped closer and put his arms around you, letting you cry against his chest.

“Why is this so hard? Why am I such a fucking terrible person?” You sobbed into his shirt, letting the full weight of everything fall.

He held you and smoothed his hand down your back, “you’re not terrible. You’re just… uncertain.”

He held you until your tears subsided.

“I’ll take you to Vegeta and whatever happens… I still want you to come see me.”

All you could do was nod and dread the idea of ever just being his friend.

In the blink of an eye, you were at Capsule Corp. If Vegeta wasn’t at the field during the day, he was most likely at the gravity chamber and sure enough, you could see it moving up ahead.

You turned back towards Goku,“Goku, I-” but he was already gone, obviously trying to make things easier for you.

You took a deep breath and headed for the gravity chamber. You knocked on the window and Vegeta’s eyes immediately met yours. He finished off one of the bots and turned the machine off before opening the hatch for you.

“I take it you know about Kyla?”

“Yeah… we just had the mother of all shouting matches at the dinner table,” you said as you stepped into the chamber.

“Dinner table? Why the hell were you and Kyla having dinner together?” He asked, wiping his face with a towel.

“Today has been really fucking weird, let’s leave it at that for now.”

“Fine. What are you doing here then?” He grabbed a water bottle from the table.

“I needed to talk to you, about things." 

"Then talk.” He snapped.

His short tone made you feel small, like he didn’t want to hear a word from you.

“Are you- are you mad at me?”

“Does it matter? Just say what you have to say.” He opened the bottle and began to chug.

“Nevermind, I’m not talking to you when you’re like this.” Your nerves were shredded from everything, the last thing you needed was Vegeta angry at you too.

He immediately tossed the bottle aside and wiped his mouth as he approached you, “you came all the way here and interrupted my training. Say whatever it is you came here to say.”

“I came here to say I still care about you and… and…” you were trying to force the words out but his anger threw you off.

“You still care about me? Did I give you a reason to stop caring?” He snapped, staring a hole through you.

“No, I… Vegeta, please just tell me what’s wrong,” you pleaded.

“What’s wrong?! I’ll tell you what’s wrong. You’re what’s wrong. You force your way into my life and make me care about you, then you fuck Kakarot knowing it would piss me off. And to top it all off, you made me think there was a possibility of more between us.”

“Is that what you think happened?” You raised your voice slightly as anger and hurt took you over completely.

“I know that’s what happened!”

“I fucked Goku because I needed that release. I wanted you so goddamn bad and I knew I couldn’t have you. I wanted more with you and I’m trying to figure out if that’s even a possibility now.”

“And that’s supposed to make me feel better? That you fucked him because you couldn’t tell me about your feelings?”

“We’ve already gone over this, you were with Kyla.” You felt like you were getting nowhere.

“Yes, I was with her but you still could’ve told me!”

“No, I couldn’t! And why didn’t you tell me you had feelings? This goes both ways, Vegeta!” You shouted, growing more irritated by the second.

“I’m a saiyan, we don’t openly admit feelings to everyone we meet!”

“Well Goku sure does!” You shouted and immediately wanted to take it back.

“Imbecile. Kakarot doesn’t know what feelings even are, but if you want him so badly then go be with him.”

You wanted to scream until it hurt to let all of your emotions out. It was like talking to a brick wall.

“Vegeta! I’m standing in front of you asking if you want to give it a chance! What the fuck else do you want from me?”

You expected a barrage of saiyan insults to come spewing out of his mouth, but that’s not what you got at all.

“Do you still have feelings for Kakarot?” He asked calmly.

“I- he-” He wasn’t supposed to know about your love for Goku.

“Don’t deny it. I felt the connection between the two of you the other night.”

“Yes, I do have feelings for him but I’m here talking to you right now. I want to know if this could actually work,” you admitted. Again, he didn’t go off on you.

“And how do you propose we figure that out?”

“I don’t know, talk about it?” You really just wanted one thing from him, to tell you he wanted to be with you.

“If we decide to go through with this, be together, what of your feelings for Kakarot?”

“I can’t just turn the feelings off but… I also don’t want to miss the opportunity I’ve been waiting so long for.”

“You have to make a choice between us.” He moved a little closer to you, bare chest glistening with sweat.

“I need to know if I do this with you, that you’re all in too. That it’ll work out.” You were struggling to stay focused with him so close and half naked.

“You’ll never have that certainty, woman.” He moved closer, almost flush against you.

“But I can’t just-” Before you could finish, he grabbed you and pulled you into a seering kiss.

Your body responded to him immediately. You jumped into his arms and wrapped your legs around his waist. He moved towards the nearest wall until your back was pressed against it, never once breaking the kiss.

One of your favorite Vegeta fantasies was coming true and it was just enough to silence the chaos in your head.

His hands gripped your ass, squeezing it as he continued to kiss you. Soft, gentle kisses quickly turned to desperate, feverish ones. You needed him everywhere right then and couldn’t get enough.

“Vegeta,” you panted, grinding against him.

He groaned and pulled you away from the wall, carrying you to the table a few feet away. He sat you down on the edge and unbuttoned your pants, nearly ripping them off of you. Once he tossed your panties aside, he bent down and hooked his arms beneath your thighs, lifting you up onto his shoulders.

He shoved you back against the nearest wall and proceeded to eat your cunt like he was starving. You wrapped your legs around his neck and grabbed a handful of his hair as you held on. He paused after a moment and narrowed his eyes at you.

“You let Kakarot breed you?!” He said in more of a growl than anything.

“I… yes… I went to see him and- ”

“I don’t want to hear it,” he lifted you off his shoulders and lowered you to the floor.

“Vegeta- ”

He abruptly turned you towards the wall and bent you over.

He gave no warning before shoving his cock into you, stretching you almost painfully. 

“It’s my turn to breed your tight cunt.” He growled against your ear.

“Vegeta-” you tried to turn to look at him but he gripped the back of your neck and pressed you against the wall.

“Fuck,” you moaned as he fucked you hard and fast. His anger brought out an animalistic side you had never seen in him and it was so much hotter than it had any right to be.

“You went to see him first, you let him fuck you, then you had the nerve to come here and ask for a chance? Ridiculous human,” he chided, keeping up his relentless pace.

“Vegeta, please-” you tried to move but his grasp on the back of your neck only tightened as he fucked you against the wall.

“Can’t make a simple decision, begging for one of us to make it for you.” He muttered, slamming into you over and over.

If it didn’t feel so good, you would be yelling at him for being an asshole. It wasn’t a simple decision and having him react like that was only complicating things even more.

“Admit you fucked Kakarot to piss me off,” he growled, slamming into you harder.

“I… I didn’t… ”

“Admit it!” He growled against your ear as he fucked his anger into you.

“It wasn’t like that.” You tried to hold on a little longer.

“The hell it was! There are plenty of worthless humans you could’ve done that with, but you chose him,” he snapped.

Your orgasm was seconds from leaving you a whimpering mess despite fighting it as much as you could.

“He offered!” You screamed.

“You didn’t have to accept! You wanted him, wanted to piss me off!” He gripped your hips harder.

“You’re so fucking frustrating!” You screamed at him just before your orgasm took you over completely.

“I’m frustrating? You’re the one that fucked Kakarot because you were too scared to admit your feelings,” he roared. You clenched hard around him as you came undone but he didn’t slow down, he just fucked you harder to push through.

You felt like he was going to fuck you right through the wall with the amount of force he was using. You continued to ride out your orgasm as he drove into you harder.

“Just tell me… will you end things with him for me?” He said through gritted teeth.

A few seconds passed while you caught your breath.

All you could manage was a very soft “yes.”

[matchasprouts]

Listen Closer - Chapter 9

[ obsessed with how this has more chapters than the walls <3 wjhbejwehbjewhbjewh ]

First || Next || Previous || Last

“I’m gonna turn off my phone if people keep interrupting my conversations and naps,” Garrett said into the phone as he answered the call, even placing a hand on his hip as if Mark could see his annoyed position.

Mark chuckled on the other end of the phone, and Garrett could hear people talking behind him. “I’m gonna send you an address, and I need you to get here as fast as possible. You’re a specialist now, and you’re gonna pretend to help us figure out this case.”

Garrett paused, completely okay with lying to the authorities but also wondering what the fuck was going on. “Okay… why? Is this a ploy to spend more time with me? Mark, we see each other every day.”

“You said you like to watch investigations. I’m giving you the chance to participate in one.” Oh. So Mark was in love with him.

“I’m on my way,” Garrett replied without hesitation, hanging up and heading right outside for his car. He already knew where it was, so he didn’t need the address, and Mark knew that. He was probably just saying it because he was in front of people.

“Where are you going?” John suddenly asked, cutting off his mad dash for his car. He froze, and turned around with a sigh, like a teenager who had tried to run off before his dad could stop him.

Oh god, this meant he had to bring up the Angel Trap. “Detective Kerry failed her test,” he said, and neither Amanda nor John seemed surprised. “Hoffman’s at the scene now, and I’m gonna watch it. Don’t worry, I’m a good liar.”

John hummed at that, knowing he couldn’t stop him but clearly unsure about him being so close to the police. “Be careful. Try not to talk more than necessary. I trust you, but even the best can slip up.”

“Yeah, fair enough. I’ve gotta go, I’ll see y’all later,” Garrett replied, bouncing on his feet before John gestured for him to go, and then his mad dash continued, resulting in him literally throwing himself into his car.

He was like… ninety percent sure that he was speeding when he got on the road.

---

“Hey, sorry, John kept me up,” Garrett said as he met Mark in front of the building, now following him inside. “So I’m just a Jigsaw specialist? Shouldn’t I have equipment with me?”

“You don’t need it,” Mark replied simply, falling silent as they passed a group of his coworkers. “You, Mr. Whitlock, are just very good at your job.” He paused, looking Garrett up and down. “Is that my shirt?”

Garrett decided not to tell Mark that technically his title should be Dr., instead waiting until he introduced himself to literally anyone. “Sounds about right. I need gloves though.” And then he smirked at the question. “Yeah, it is. You probably shouldn’t leave your clothes in the base if you don’t want me to steal them.”

Mark was quiet for a moment before he sighed, pulling a pair of gloves out of his jacket as they reached the body. He handed them to Garrett, who immediately pulled them on and made a beeline for the corpse.

Of course some asshole stopped him.

“Who the hell are you?” one of the men standing in the room when he entered asked him, making him very tempted to glare but instead he smiled.

This random guy was tall, but only four inches taller than Garrett. He had mostly slicked back brown hair, deep blue eyes, and what seemed to be a permanent scowl. He was, unfortunately, attractive. Especially in that suit.

Garrett looked past him, glancing at the woman who he’d been standing next to. She was shorter, with curly dark brown hair that she had pulled back into a ponytail. Her eyes were a deep brown, and she looked significantly less asshole-ish than her presumed partner.

Finally, he turned back to the man, the small smile still on his lips. “Dr. Whitlock, I’m the Jigsaw specialist. I’ve been working with his traps since he first appeared,” he introduced himself, offering a hand for the man to shake.

He very, very hesitantly took Garrett’s hand, giving it a firm shake before immediately dropping it. “Special Agent Strahm, over there is my partner Special Agent Perez,” he said after a moment of inspecting Garrett, gesturing with a tilt of his head to the woman.

“FBI?” Garrett immediately asked, glancing over at Mark. He had NOT been informed of the fucking FBI, and he was going to have a long talk with him about that later. Garrett had already been accused of being Jigsaw once by the FBI, and he really didn’t need it again.

“When a serial killer gets this many victims, we tend to step in,” Strahm replied, looking up at the hanging body. “Besides, Detective Kerry was our link in the precinct. Of course we would step in when she dies.”

Fuck, Amanda really just HAD to screw him over like this.

“Did you know Detective Kerry?” he asked, looking back over to Garrett, who was now inspecting the wings on the trap, admiring how well he’d managed to get the hooks in her ribs.

“No, I didn’t,” Garrett answered, keeping his focus on the trap. “I only work with Detective Hoffman, occasionally Detective Fisk. I’m sure you know that officers tend to have a specific specialist or informant that they exclusively use.”

Wow. His first day as a fake specialist and he was already rocking it.

Strahm hummed at that, watching him do his “job” before offering his theory. “There’s another accomplice, other than Amanda Young.”

Garrett’s eyes widened for half a second, surprised that they knew Amanda was an apprentice. Did this mean they knew who John was too? Clearly they didn’t know him, or they would have recognized him immediately.

“What makes you think that?” Mark asked, stepping so Garrett didn’t have to. “This could have very well have been done by Amanda Young, or John Kramer-”

“John Kramer is a dying cancer patient, I highly doubt he would be able to lift anyone up. And Detective Kerry is almost twice the weight of Amanda Young, so there’s no way she could have hoisted her up,” Strahm continued, cutting Mark off.

Garrett clenched his jaw at the explanation, knowing Strahm was right not only because he was the one to put Kerry up there, but also because he had pegged John and Amanda exactly.

“Also, we couldn’t find a tape recorder like usual, and there was no jigsaw piece cut out of her.”

… Shit.

Garrett had wanted out of there so bad earlier that he’d completely forgotten to leave the tape, or cut out the jigsaw piece. Mark shot him a look, and he knew he was going to be in trouble later.

It wasn’t his fault that he liked for games to be fair and that it pissed him off when they weren’t. He just couldn't stand staying there for any longer.

“Kramer was a mechanical engineer, he could have made a pulley system, and both of them are only human, they could have simply forgotten-” Mark offered, only to be cut off once again.

“Jigsaw doesn’t ‘forget’ or make mistakes. This was someone else entirely, and I will find them.” Strahm sounded so confident, despite not knowing that he was standing right next to the man he was looking for.

“Well, that’s not my department,” Garrett spoke up, taking a few steps back to get a better look at the trap. “Don’t those mechanisms look like wings? It’s one of the few times a function of a trap has been both aesthetic and actually useful. I imagine they were closed when she was strapped in, and then they opened when time ran out, thus ripping out her ribs. What a way to go.”

He was technically talking to Mark as he explained the trap, but both of them knew he was saying it for everyone else, so it would seem more believable. It seemed to be working, because now someone was checking out the ‘wings’.

Strahm, however, clearly did not like him. Before the agent got the chance to start questioning Garrett though, he looked over at Mark. “Y’all got the pictures, right? We should probably get out of the way of the CSIs.”

Mark nodded at that, glancing back up at Strahm one last time. “I think it’d also be smart to get Officer Rigg out of here. If you need me when you get back to the precinct, we’ll be in my office.”

He put a hand on Garrett’s shoulder, a gesture he leaned into as much as possible, before gesturing for Rigg to follow them out and away from the body. Of course, they split up from the officer once outside, as well as going to their own cars with the silent promise that they’d talk at the precinct.

---

“You forgot to leave the tape AND the jigsaw piece?” Mark was apparently not giving Garrett a chance to recover, tearing into him the second the office door was closed. “You’ve been at this longer than I have, and yet here we are.”

“The game was rigged,” Garrett quickly replied in a vague attempt to defend himself. “I was rigged and I didn’t know and I don’t like it when games are unfair so I freaked out and-”

Mark cut off his rambling with a large hand over his mouth, since he was starting to get a little too loud. Garrett’s first instinct was to bite, but he figured Mark had enough wounds from his inability to keep his mouth closed.

Once Mark was sure he’d be quiet, he removed his hand. “Calm down. I understand. You’re only human.”

You shouldn’t say that to someone with a god complex. Luckily, Garrett kept his mouth shut.

“You should probably go check on Rigg,” Garrett spoke up, grabbing the folder with the pictures of the trap off the desk so he could at least pretend to be working. “He looked pretty shaken up. You don’t want someone like that getting in the way.”

Mark sighed, knowing Garrett was right. Rigg wanted to save everyone, and that would get in the way. “Right. You stay in here, I don’t want you wandering and getting lost.”

“Wow, so much faith in me,” Garrett teased, rolling his eyes before pulling Mark down into a kiss. He’d talk to him about the polyamory thing later, it wasn’t really appropriate here.

“Just stay put,” Mark reiterated as they pulled back, leaving one last kiss on the top of Garrett’s head before leaving the office, leaving him to his own devices.

… Yeah he actually didn’t want to get into any more trouble, so he sat down in one of the chairs in front of the desk and opened up the folder, spreading the pictures out so he could “work”. Maybe he should actually get a job in this, it was kind of fun.

He was getting into the groove of things when the door opened. He looked up and behind him, expecting Mark, but was surprised to see Strahm instead. “Looking for Hoffman? Last I heard, he was dealing with Rigg.”

“He already has, he’s looking into something else right now,” Strahm replied, stepping further into the room and closing the door behind him. “I’m here to talk to you.”

Well that wasn’t good. Garrett settled back down in his seat, extremely aware of Strahm coming up behind him and placing one of his hands on the back of the chair to look down at his notes.

“You said you’ve been working the Jigsaw case since he first appeared, but I couldn’t find any record of you in the files. Care to explain?” Strahm asked after a tense moment of silence, but Garrett already had a response.

“I’m not employed by the precinct. The only person I officially work with is Detective Hoffman, so there’s no need to mention me. Besides, it’s not like I have a huge job, I just look at the traps and tell him what happened,” Garrett answered, humming softly as he continued his sketch of the Angel Trap.

So funny how he’d only had this fake job for like two hours and still had an excuse for everything.

“Fine, that makes sense, but-” Strahm put his hand on Garrett’s shoulder and Garrett, feral bastard that he is, reacted on pure instinct…

… And bit into Strahm’s hand.

For his credit, the agent didn’t scream, instead letting out a gasp that was somewhere in between surprised and pained. He probably didn’t want to make any louder of a sound so he didn’t cause a scene.

The problem with that was the fact that Garrett wasn’t letting go. In fact, he was sinking his teeth in even deeper.

There was blood now, Garrett could taste it, and it just made him want to stay latched on longer. Strahm was to the point of trying to pry him off while still being quiet, letting out little grunts of pain.

“I’ll fucking shoot you if you don’t let go,” he growled, but Garrett didn’t budge, knowing it was a bluff.

Fortunately for Strahm, the door opened, revealing Mark in the doorway. It took him a second to realize what was going on, but he was rushing over to the two as soon as it clicked.

At the sight of Mark, Garrett released Strahm from hold, wiping the blood off his lips with the back of his hand, only to lick it off his hand, still staring at the agent.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” he warned, finally letting go of Strahm’s gaze and instead looking up at Mark. “I think I’m gonna go home now, if that’s okay?”

“Yeah, yeah… I’ll see you later,” Mark responded, accepting the closed file Garrett handed to him and watching him head out.

Strahm was still holding his bleeding hand as he also watched Garrett leave. His face was tinted pink, which Mark found curious but wasn’t going to ask about, and blood was dripping through the gaps between his fingers.

“Let’s uh… get you patched up. I can at least get him to apologize later.”

Garrett probably wasn’t going to apologize later.