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#but should probably work on his communication skills
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McSpirk and away missions. The Hazard Husbands.
The reason I ship these three (Kirk/Spock/Bones) comes down to one simple point and it is as follows.. theres is no logical reason for them to be the 3 on away missions as much as they are. Actually, it's probably not the suggested Starfleet protocol at all, or at least not for most types of missions. It's a quirk of the writing but it reads as them being so interwoven and almost like they are making excuses to be together as actual characters. We see this kind of thing way less in later series. Because they find other ways to give their main characters more screen time, make main characters out of less high-ranking officers, or have a truer ensemble cast vibe.
Kirk and Spock should rarely be down on the planet together because of chains of command. It's fine that Sulu and Scotty end up having the bridge a lot during actual away missions. You don't need a pilot as much in orbit around a planet and Engineering is able to contact Scotty if there's an emergency elsewhere. But they have other responsibilities. If something happens to the people on the away mission the death of the first and second in command is not ideal for the ship. Then there is McCoy. Bones is the chief medical officer. He goes on a lot of missions that don't need a medical officer, and while shit goes wrong and he comes in handy, it didn't make sense to put the whole crew's medical care at risk by sending him down before shit hit the fan. Additionally, in many situations where there is not an extreme medical crisis, it would make more sense to have Nurse Chapel on the planet and Bones watching over med bay.
So why does this happen? Why do each of the three keep letting this happen?
McCoy hates transporters enough it wouldn't be out of character for him to be mostly shipbound. He's one of the few roles on a ship where he can truly challenge a commanding officer. Who can say no captain I'm needed here you should take my assistant down to look at your damn rocks/broken leg/lap dog in a unicorn costume/etc. Yet he goes.
Kirk gets to pick the away teams, do I need to say more. Okay, I will, these two by his side. If he is going to be in harm's way, having fun, or even bored out of his mind, he'd rather do it with them, logistics be damned.
Spock dearest Spock knows this is all illogical. Not just not advised by Starfleet, but truly a risky choice but he says nothing. None of his quips about humans, not of his protestations in the face of Kirk Choas or McCoy's emotion. He never calls out this pattern of behavior as a fault. Perhaps because he thinks their combined skills make it work the risks, but that feeds into it even more.
They are inseparable when their roles should inherently keep them in close communication, but with physical distance in all risk situations. They choose to take the risk, to face the crises together. Therefore.... husbands. Hazards to their crew, but in love hazards.
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merwgue · 2 days
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Okay, but can we talk about how Nesta is so autistic-coded and the Inner Circle is just... completely missing the memo? COMMING FROM AN AUTISTIC PERSON🥳
Look, I’m not saying Sarah J. Maas intended to write Nesta as autistic, but come on. You’ve got a character who struggles with social interactions, needs her own space to recharge, has intense, specific interests (ahem, reading), and who’s constantly being misunderstood by the people around her. If that doesn’t scream autistic-coded, I don’t know what does.
1. Social Interactions? Nope.
Nesta’s social skills (or lack thereof) are a big flag. She’s always being criticized for not fitting in, not behaving “the right way,” or not being all warm and fuzzy with everyone. Sound familiar? People on the autism spectrum often get labeled as “cold” or “aloof” when in reality, they just don’t vibe with the social expectations around them. And what do the Inner Circle do? They constantly expect her to be like them instead of trying to understand her on her terms.
Feyre’s over here like, “Nesta, why are you so difficult?” And Nesta’s probably thinking, “I literally just need some space from all you over-hugging, over-talking, too-much-energy people.” But instead of giving her the tools to communicate or cope better, they just drag her to a cabin in the woods. Sure, lock her up. That'll definitely fix everything.
2. Sensory Overload, Anyone?
Nesta’s reactions to stress and overstimulation are spot-on. The whole time she’s in the Night Court, it’s just noise, noise, noise. Between Feyre’s incessant meddling, Cassian’s loud warrior energy, and Rhysand being... well, Rhysand, it’s like Nesta’s surrounded by sensory overload. So what does she do? She shuts down. Classic move when the world is too much.
But does anyone ask, “Hey, maybe this isn't about her being rude, maybe she’s just overwhelmed?” Nope. Instead, it’s more like, “Nesta’s broken, let’s force her to train and socialize until she magically becomes like us!” Not how it works, guys. Not at all.
3. Obsessions Aren’t Just a “Phase”
Nesta’s love of reading could be seen as a deep special interest, which is a common autistic trait. And yet, what does the Inner Circle do? They act like it’s some sort of escape or avoidance mechanism rather than a source of comfort and grounding for her. Of course she’s going to retreat into books! They make sense, they don’t demand anything from her, and they’re not trying to change her every two seconds.
4. Bluntness? It’s Called Honesty.
Nesta’s “rudeness” is really just brutal honesty. She doesn’t sugarcoat things. And why should she? In her mind, it’s more logical to say things as they are. But the Inner Circle constantly misinterprets this as hostility or coldness. Why? Because they’re all about emotional theatrics, and they just don’t get someone who communicates in a more direct, matter-of-fact way.
5. Let’s Talk About the Whole “Locking Her Up” Thing
So, Rhysand’s big idea for dealing with Nesta is basically to isolate her in a house she doesn’t want to be in and force her to follow his "recovery" plan. Yeah, because forcing someone who is already struggling to conform to your idea of healing works so well. The whole thing feels like they’re punishing Nesta for not fitting their mold. It’s like, “Nesta, you’re not behaving the way we want you to, so we’re going to fix you.” Cue the eye roll.
What They Should’ve Done Instead:
Instead of forcing Nesta to be like them, maybe — just maybe — the Inner Circle should’ve, oh I don’t know, accepted her for who she is? Maybe they could’ve recognized that she doesn’t process the world the same way and that’s okay. Give her the space she needs, stop trying to mold her into their version of “normal,” and for the love of everything, stop treating her like she’s broken just because she’s different.
Maybe Nesta just needs some sensory breaks, a quiet space, and people who actually listen to what she needs. Instead, she gets dragged through the mud, labeled as a problem, and forced into a version of recovery that only works for everyone else.
So yeah, the Inner Circle missed the memo — and that memo was: Nesta’s not the problem; their complete lack of understanding is.
Ty @fenrysmoonbeamswife for the idea!!! I loved your posts pookster
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britneyshakespeare · 5 months
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i have been working with kids for four years and i had to write my first ever note just now about a seventh grade boy being inappropriate towards me. i don't know what the hell this could possibly lead to or what. he was trying to feel my legs repeatedly to the point where i had to stop sitting next to him (and i was subbing for his one-to-one para!!!). he's got high support needs. in that kind of job, you're supposed to sit next to them all day and look over their work.
the teacher whose classroom this was happening in could also tell something was wrong. the whole class was acting kinda crazy because it was the day before school vacation week and there was another class coming in to share projects. so like, he was swamped with keeping order already. but we were sitting two feet away from his podium at the front of the room. the kid was giving him and me a hard time when he wouldn't take out his chromebook as he was instructed. and then when he did take out his chromebook, he immediately, for some reason, places it on my lap. he had been ogling my legs the whole time. he puts his computer ON MY LAP. and i'm just like, stunned, because what the hell? can you not keep it on your own lap, for some reason? i don't even know what to say, i just hold it a little above my lap while i'm thinking why on earth would this be happening? he would NOT do this to his regular para if she were here, would he? this can't be normal.
and the teacher sees this and within a minute places a stool in front of the kid for him to put his laptop on. and i'm like. oh ok. yeah. he notices exactly what's happening and that that's not appropriate. and then when the other class comes in to share projects he tells me "miss b——, you don't actually have to sit next to c—— this whole period if you don't want to." and he grabs me a chair for me to go sit with the other paras in the back opposite corner of the room. like he KNEW. and thank you mr. d—— for recognizing that because i was just kind of shocked and didn't know if i was overreacting in my head to all of this.
when there's a point in the class where the kids are discussing stuff, i privately mention what's happened to the para who's sitting closest to me. and she says that the thing about him calling me pretty is something he's been known to do, but the fact that he kept trying to touch my legs is new behavior. and that's a completely different class of behavior. i was telling him NO, don't do that, and he kept doing it. and the fact that he was calling me pretty repeatedly, even when i was giving him instructions that he wasn't taking. and this is the second to last class before the end of the day, so she says she'll take a walk with him before learning center and talk to him about it, and i'm grateful for that. she does. the kid apologizes to me as soon as i come into learning center. but like. WHAT the hell.
i'm STILL like what the hell. this is unfathomable to me. the other adults who i told about this or who witnessed it were supportive of me. but. what to do??? i wrote a long note to his regular para about this, because i knew she was going to hear about it at least from the first para i told. the second para i told about it after school had a kind of... i'm not gonna say enabling reaction, but i suppose since it had already been "taken care of" (or at least, he had been spoken to and apologized) she didn't really have much to add in the way of discipline. i told her what happened after school and she was just like... a little bit, laughing? like oh, yup, that dog. she at the very least confirmed he KNEW what he was doing, that that was not an accident. she said to me "i had a feeling he was going to develop a crush on you" (me and these other paras were together for most of the beginning of the day too). but it's like. it's not about that.
i have worked with children for FOUR years. children have had crushes on me before; i'm quite unfazed by it. boys from the ages of 5-to-15 have told me i'm so pretty before and asked me to marry them. i've never had them feeling up my legs before. i've never had them making me physically uncomfortable. it's NOT about this seventh grader having a crush on the pretty substitute. he is NOT unusual for that, at all. but i've never had a boy of any age or education level repeatedly touching my knees and thighs. THAT is problem behavior!!!
because what if i wasn't assertive enough with him to tell him to stop? what if i was a girl his age? worse, what if i was an adult who encouraged this behavior? i don't come to the middle school to be a seductress. i had no intention in putting on a pair of tights and a skirt this morning of being viewed as an attractive object, especially not by a pubescent boy. what if i did though? what if his interpretation of me wasn't so incorrect and offensive? what if i let him keep touching me inappropriately and saying flirtatious things to me? me, an adult in my mid-twenties, towards a middle school boy?
in no world would that be ok. if i had been feeling up and overly-complimenting a CHILD at my place of work, holy shit would there be reports about me. so a child acting that way could never be ok either. if it'd be firable for me to be reciprocating that action, then that action should not be happening to me. ever. and that child should never repeat that action again to any other adult again.
like i am simply not there to be treated as an attractive young woman. i put on a skirt that shows too much knee and get paired with a boy, though, and that's apparently just a natural consequence. hooo-ly shit. like i don't know what to do. first of all, the more time passes since this has happened, the more i am just unable to stop thinking about it. i wasn't "hurt" or too emotional in the moment but i'm just still processing it and it gets worse. i'm just more and more disgusted.
i don't know what i expect to come out of this, or the email i sent to his regular para. like, am i gonna have to attend a fucking meeting? what is the precedent that this sets for him? WHY do i feel BAD for him about this? well, because he's a child, of course. a child who has done wrong he may not be able to understand. but he knows WHAT he did. he just doesn't know WHY it was wrong.
and i couldn't even say something to him that was like, "well, how would you like it if i was touching you like this?" because young boys do not understand how inappropriate it'd be. i'm sure this kid thought he was gonna get away with what he was doing at the very least. but probably not unlikely he (being a child with no concept of how wrong it'd be) thought he could get some sort of "positive" attention for treating me like this. either way he was simply doing what he wanted to do, with no perspective of how it would make me feel or that it could be classified as harassment. teenage boys think it'd be awesome if the older attractive woman would reciprocate their affections. they're wrong. i, as the older attractive woman of his affection, cannot be the one to convince him of that, though.
i don't know. i don't know. like it's just so not ok. but if i didn't tell another adult about this, he would've gotten away with it. he would probably do it again. and him being in trouble for it is not the same as him understanding that it was wrong. unless someone has a REAL talk with him about inappropriate attention and consent, it's not unlikely that he'll just repeat the behavior in a setting where he thinks he won't be caught or told on. THAT'S the problem. me, i could just never have to be this boy's para again. in my email, i didn't say that i would never be ok working with or around him ever again. he already knows i didn't like it and i'm not afraid to tell on him; as far as that lesson applies to me, individually, i think he's become too ashamed to repeat that.
i don't know. i don't know. i very much expressed that i, i guess, "forgave" him in the email that i wrote. i clarified that i was writing it for the sake of having it on the record. i think that could potentially be very important for the purposes of preventing further similar or escalating behavior from him in the future. i don't want him to be in trouble. i don't think i will be blamed for this, especially not with how promptly i acted, although i don't know to what extent this will be framed as me thinking i'm a "victim." i'm not... i don't feel victimized. i feel disgusted. i feel afraid for the sake of what could happen to or with him in the future, if he thinks behavior like his towards me today is ok.
i feel like if i end up having to further respond to this, this will be made about me. in a way it kind of was. is? in the moment it was happening, it was certainly about me. because i was the one this boy was giving all this unwanted attention to. but to make the consequences of this about me and to involve me any further, i also don't want. because i said what i said already, i don't care if a student has a crush on me. this isn't about me being the pretty substitute. i'm the pretty substitute all the time, to tons of people. that's not really something i've been concerned about up until now.
but do i have to reexplain my personal embarrassment? that i was wearing a skirt? that he was ogling my legs? really? what more do i have to gain from sharing that, other than having the adults at my place of work confirm or deny me in their heads as the pretty substitute? i don't know. perhaps that's REALLY overthinking it. but i don't want to be the substitute that caused a problem for this special ed kid. i don't wanna be the reason that he can't be around me anymore, the person people think of when they're monitoring how he's acting around girls and young women. i DON'T want to be the one people think of when they think of his past misbehavior. i'm NOT here for that.
that's just fucking humiliating. and in this being a thing that could follow him, i have to be ogled and touched over and over again in people's minds for this to be taken seriously. but for this to be swept under the rug would be even worse, no? i don't know. i hate this. the principal is a nice guy; i wouldn't be surprised if he and/or people from the special ed department reached out to me sympathetically about this. but i don't wanna be reached out to. i don't wanna have ppl i work with tell me "sorry that kid was just so attracted to you he couldn't help himself" like come on. if the kid himself doesn't change then i don't really care to remember this incident. and no one reaching out to me and saying they've talked to this kid will actually prove to me he understands. this is the kind of inappropriate behavior it takes years for people to understand why it was wrong, especially a child who has no idea. i mean come on.
#tales from diana#long post#sorry i should probably put this under a read more but it was just a long stream of consciousness#and idk. im tired. im so tired#do you wanna be known as the substitute teacher a kid kept touching inappropriately? probably not#thank god for the first para i told bc she took it really seriously seemingly. i mean idk what she told him in their conversation#not EXACTLY what she told him. she obviously said this was wrong and she reiterated in learning center again#that if that were her daughter she'd be through the roof and that she'd be telling his regular para#i mean of course i had to tell the regular para directly. i would rather it come from my mouth#i'm the one who has the most information of how and why it happened. i think other ppl telling it would just reduce it to#'he thought she was so pretty and he kept staring at and touching her legs cuz she wore a skirt' like come on#the indignity of that!#i already feel undignified enough.#and also thank god for the social studies teacher. the more im processing this the more im like thank god#i dont know him well. he had already been a nice dude to me before in my interactions w him#like as a sub you notice the people who are really affirming of the strange and irregular work you do#earlier this week i was subbing for the math teacher across the hall for instance and he came in before class started and said#that if anyone's giving me a hard time to just send them to him. bc that group can be a little rowdy/wild#my classroom discipline skills are not that bad where i felt the need to have someone more experienced defend me so to speak#like i know i look young and am assumed to be new. but with most classes. i can handle most misbehavior#i can put my foot down in a way kids normally respect. i know how to keep em on task#and for MOST of the day with this kid that's what i was doing. but if that social studies teacher hadn't done what he did#i might not feel so bold in just straight up walking away from that kid. after saying stop stop stop repeatedly#like he had his own job to do independent of me but i remember the gestures and like. i could cry. he KNEWWWW#that's just a very trustworthy person i feel. he didn't want me to suffer through that any longer#a lot of teachers (unfortunately) largely ignore the kids with paras and/or expect the paras to communicate to the kid exclusively#that teacher is not like that. he was willing to mind that boy while i escaped that situation. so so grateful to him
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not-a-space-alien · 4 months
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I've seen a lot of "You have to communicate directly/don't expect other people to read your mind" posts going around tumblr lately and while I really do appreciate them because it's a skill a LOT of people need to work on, I do want to remind everyone to please meet people halfway sometimes.
I recently read a story on Reddit about a guy's pregnant wife texting him "I'm craving donuts but we don't have any in the house 😔" and he DIDN'T stop to pick up donuts on the way home from work. Everyone was taking his side because "she needs to communicate" and "he's not a mind reader" and "How was he supposed to know she wanted him to get donuts???" People, ffs, why on earth would she text him that while he was at work if not because she wanted him to get donuts? I was flabbergasted everyone was taking his side. "How was he supposed to know??" What? Like yeah it's true she didn't say "I want you to get me donuts" with those exact words in that exact order but the reason why people get upset if they hint they want you to do something and you don't do it is because they feel like you don't care about them and aren't actively thinking about their feelings. Especially in a marriage or LTR they are in a situation where the assumption is you care about filling the other person's needs.
Someone who loves and cares about someone will get the donuts "without being asked" just because their partner expresses a want or need. That's what someone is fishing for when they say "Aaaah I'm craving donuts 🥺🥺🥺" It's less about the donuts and more about feeling cared for. Sometimes straight up asking "Can you get me donuts?" defeats the purpose.
Also, women are typically socialized to communicate this way because they're punished socially for being too direct. I've heard that people of color, especially black people, often do this too because they're likely to be branded as "aggressive" if they're too direct with white people. So it might be a good idea to be a bit intersectional if we're trying to encourage people to be more direct.
Take the stereotypical example of a wife gets a new haircut and then gets upset that the husband doesn't notice. She's not literally mad at him for not saying the exact words "I like your new haircut." She's upset because she feels like he doesn't look at her and appreciate the efforts she's putting in anymore.
Obviously this will vary widely depending on the nature of your relationship with someone, but especially when it comes to intimate partnerships, there are certain things your significant other should not have to tell you directly. It's probably safe to assume your wife or husband wants a birthday present even if they don't ask for it. It's probably safe to assume your bf or gf would appreciate a valentine's day present or a compliment without them having to literally ask for it, unless they explicitly say otherwise.
This is difficult for a lot of neurodivergent people to learn manually if it's not instinctual and they didn't learn it growing up (lord knows I didn't) and yes, it's true that most people (especially NT people) should learn to communicate more directly. But also, your relationships would probably benefit from learning to read indirect cues and just pick up the donuts on the way home because you heard your wife is craving them. Sometimes what someone wants is for you to think about what they're feeling and what they want and do it without them asking directly. It's up to you whether or not you do that, but sometimes that is asking. I think this is what people generally mean when they say their partner is "thoughtful."
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suhkusa · 2 months
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HELL OF A WOMAN.
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PAIRING. Bakugou Katsuki x f!Reader
CW. slight enemies-to-lovers, some angst but not heavy, fluff, you're both snarky (romantic), ~4k words, slice of life, reader has a healing quirk
A/N. i'd say slowburn but it's only slowburn because i barely ever write fics this long lol
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Throughout your time in the nurse’s office as Recovery Girl’s student apprentice, you’ve met many different students. They all varied– whether it be their quirk, their grade, or even the injury they had come in for. 
Students from the general education, support and management departments rarely ever made their rounds to the nurse’s office, only coming in for a simple cut or bruise. 
That left you with those in the hero department.
You got along well with nearly all of them, even going as far as becoming friends with a few. And while that was true, of course there were gonna be some who you couldn’t get along with. But, there was specifically one student you could not stand. And he’d probably say the same thing for you as well. 
It was none other than Bakugou Katsuki.
———
The first time you really interacted with Bakugou Katsuki was within the first month of your apprenticeship. It was in your 3rd year, and you had already been managing well. 
Your day had started off fantastic. Recovery Girl had left you to run the office by yourself, thoroughly trusting your working and communication skills, so that she could run errands out of town. 
The office hadn’t been too busy, allowing you time to finish a bit of your homework at your own little desk next to hers. A few people came and left, just needing a simple healing of their arm or leg. 
You had been lost in thought when he slammed the door open, practically huffing as he walked in. Putting your pencil down, your wide eyes looked up and met his own. It felt as though he was burning a hole straight through your skull with the way he stared you down.
You didn’t even have to ask to know who he was. In your first and second year, his face was plastered nearly everywhere throughout the media. Bakugou Katsuki. But you’d never talked to him. Well, until now.
Assuming he’d be like every other person who walked through that door, stating their business then quietly leaving, you broke the deafening silence.
“Uh, yes?” you let out, cringing internally at the way the words came out.
Bakugou looked around the room before back at you, “Where the hell is the old woman at?” he spat.
You were seemingly surprised at his not-so-subtle entrance and dirty language. 
“If you meant Recovery Lady by “old woman”, then she’s out of town for some errands. I can help you if–”
“And who the hell are you?” he snapped before you finished, impatience laced in the way he spoke and stood before you.
You could practically feel how your jaw dropped and eyebrows furrowed at his blunt question. If he didn’t hold back, then why should you?
“I’m Y/N L/N, I’m Recovery Lady’s helper. Now,” you put on the most calm and collected voice you could manage, “what the hell do you want?”
The day was going well, before now at least, and you were not going to let some egoistic, cocky guy ruin it for you. Tug of war is a game with two different sides, and you weren’t gonna let him win victoriously. 
Bakugou’s face scrunched up at the words you spat right back at him, opening his mouth to retort something– probably an insult– before letting it fall shut with a grunt. 
“What the– Just put a bandage on this shit,” he held his arm out for you to see a scrape wound running up the length of it.
You raised an eyebrow as you glanced between the injury and his eyes that looked down at you expectantly. And waited.
“The fuck you staring at?” he spoke– yelled, really– before stepping a bit closer.
A smirk tugged up at the corner of your lips before you sat back in your spinning chair, crossing a leg over the other. Like you were the one expecting something.
“You–”
“Please.” you cut him off, lifting a hand to inspect your nails nonchalantly. Hm, maybe you should get them done.
“Like hell I’m saying that, do something about–”
“Please.”  you repeated, emphasizing the word in a louder tone. You looked at him from behind your lifted hand, the smirk that once teased at your mouth now sitting there fully– mocking him.
“Fine! Fuckin’ fine!”  Bakugou snarled, his pearly whites peeking from under his lips. “Will you please do something about this?”
Satisfied, you responded, “‘Kay,”
———
Perhaps you should’ve bit your tongue before you spoke to the oh so great Bakugou Katsuki. In your defense, you didn’t know he’d hold it against you. You were joking, obviously. It was obvious. Right?
And so, everytime he walked into the nurse’s office, he’d send you the same nasty glare, practically seething through his teeth as he made eye contact with you. You knew exactly why he did the gesture every time he came in, but how long did this guy hold grudges for? It wasn’t like you publicly humiliated him or anything. 
“Why are you always looking at me like that?” you asked him one day as the Recovery Lady escorted him to one of the vacant cots, leg stretched out as you leaned back in your chair. 
“Hah? Like what?” he grunted in your direction as he took a seat, an eyebrow raised in curiosity? Irritation? Probably both.
“Mm,” you looked up to the roof as if you were thinking, “Like you like me or something, I mean it’s really flattering but you don’t have to sta—”
“As if. I’d rather watch an elephant take a dump than stare at your face any day,” Bakugou inputted as he lifted his arm to allow Recovery Lady to heal the injury along his bicep.
“Oh really? I didn’t know you were into that kind of stuff, Bakugou,” 
You fidgeted with the pen in your hand as you watched his face scrunch up. 
“You know what—”
Just as he was about to rise and stand from his spot, Recovery Lady quickly and gently pushed him to sit back down. 
“Y/N,” she emphasized your name with a familiar tone, “I think we’re running low on bandages, could you go get some from the storage room?” 
Even though her words were anything but hostile, you and Bakugou could tell she was scolding you. You let out a sigh. 
“Yeah, I can,” 
Getting up from your seat, you set your things down before making your way to the door. Not before stealing one more glance at Bakugou. He was also staring back at you, but this time there was a bit of cockiness in his eyes. Getting the last word never hurt anybody.
You slid the door open, eyes still locked with his, “You know, you’d probably look cute as well if you didn’t look like you were constipated 24/7,” 
“The fuck—”
Quickly sticking your tongue out at him, you shut the door before he was able to finish his sentence.
———
The nurse’s office had been particularly quiet today. The slow day in the office gave you more free time to yourself, which allowed you to catch up on a couple past assignments. Only two or three people came in before the lunch bell rang. After packing your bag, you waved off Recovery Lady as you excused yourself to the cafeteria.
And when you returned, it was still quiet. You quickly noticed that it was also void of Recovery Lady, the short woman nowhere to be seen. As you slid the door shut behind you, you heard a hushed groan come from one of the beds. Your head snapped to the source of the noise, quietly stepping closer to the person. 
Almost naturally, you recognized the disheveled blonde hair. Bakugou. 
But this was different. New. He was quiet for once, and the eyes that almost always were glaring at you were closed shut. Your body relaxed at the unusual sight of him. And maybe if you were crazy, you would’ve thought he was cute. 
As you got closer, you noticed the slight crease in his eyebrows, as well as the bandage that was wrapped around his torso. 
Perhaps you got too caught up in the moment, though. Too caught up in the way his chest slowly rose with each breath, the way his skin seemed to glow under the sun’s filtered light. So caught up that you didn’t realize those familiar crimson eyes were staring back up at you.
“You a pervert now?” his voice cut through silence, causing you to tense and step back. “The hell are you looking at?”
For a moment, it felt like your voice was caught in your throat. You caught yourself trying to find something to look at. Something other than him.
“Looks like you’re in quite a predicament,” you commented with a breathy laugh, not really knowing what else to say. Stupid joke.
“No, really?” sarcasm was laced in his tone, but you could hear the struggle as he grunted quietly afterwards.
Maybe you’d spare him for the day.
“Recovery Lady hasn’t gotten to you, yet?” you asked as you slowly made your way to your desk, setting down your bag.
“Nah,” he let out a huff as he sat up, “Shit— she wasn’t here when I got here,”
Letting out a hum in response, “Do… Do you want me to help you then?” you asked, even though you already knew the likely answer.
“What the hell do you think—” 
“You know, on second thought I have some homework—”
He let out an exasperated sigh before surrendering once again, “Yes. Yes, please. Help me,”
Biting back a small smile, you turned back around to make your way back to the injured man. You pulled up a chair next to the bed, sliding in closer. After gesturing him to lay back down, your hands carefully peeled back the bandages that covered the wound. You’d never get used to the sight of blood. 
You could feel the way his body tensed every time your hand neared his injury, though you tried your best not to touch it at all. 
“Sorry if it hurts a little,” you said, lifting your hands over the gash, “Just do your best to relax,”
“Whatever,” Bakugou responded as he turned his head away from you. 
It happened in a flash. From his peripheral view, he saw your hands glow, and the next thing he knew: he was fine again. Not a scar, scratch, or wound in sight. Like it wasn’t even there. 
Though you enjoyed the perplexed look in his eyes, you could feel yourself becoming rather light-headed. You took a deep breath before standing up and going back to your desk to get your water bottle. 
As you took a sip of your water, you watched as he sat up in the cot, lifting up his shirt to examine the skin. 
“Never seen a quirk before?” you laughed at his amusement.
His face quickly snapped back to his normal grouchy look, “No, just didn’t know you had a quirk at all, you usually just bandage my injuries up. Plus healing quirks are rare,”
“Mm, I get that a lot,” you mused, twisting the cap back onto your water, “It’s just a normal healing quirk though. I’ve been working with Recovery Lady to train it’s capabilities,”
Bakugou grunted in response. Silence filled the room for a moment before he decided to speak up. 
“Gonna head back to class,” he stated curtly, swiftly putting his blazer back on before stepping towards the door, “Thanks, I guess,” 
With one last glance back at you, he was gone. Leaving you and the rapid thumping of your heart alone in the room once again. 
———
“Is anyone sitting here?” a gruff voice came from above.
With the rest of the noise in the cafeteria, you nearly didn’t hear him. Your eyes gazed up from your food toward him, eyebrow shooting up in question.
“Uhm,” you swallowed the food in your mouth before responding, “what does it look like to you?” 
You gestured to the empty seats around you before going back to poking at your lunch.
“Tch, just asking,” Bakugou murmured under his breath as he tugged a chair out from under the table and took a seat.
As you ate, you couldn’t help but sneak a couple of glances his way. Just why was he sitting with you? Was this his own silent way of tormenting you?
“So,” you started before clearing your throat, “what do you want?”
You could see him freeze mid-bite, eyes shooting up to you.
“To eat? What else?” he grunted nonchalantly.
Well no shit.
“Oh really? Didn’t know that,” you rolled your eyes, “why not eat with your friends?”
“Don’t wanna,”
Your lips pulled into a thin line before you gave up. You dismissed him as you continued to finish your lunch. After this you’d probably have enough time to take a nap in the nurse’s office. In an attempt to finish your food without starting some random argument with the blonde next to you, you kept the interactions to a minimum.
After you finished, you debated your options. Did you say goodbye or just… leave? Just leaving would be rude, wouldn’t it? Well who cares, you sure don’t–
“Hold on,” he called out, catching your attention.
You watched as he quickly finished the rest of his lunch, gathering his stuff before standing up. 
“What–”
“Alright, let’s go,” he said as he walked past you towards the garbage can.
“Uh,” you followed shortly after him with your trash, “go where?”
Stacking his tray with the others, he sent you a glare with a rough, “Where else?” 
When you didn’t respond with a word but instead with a confused look, Bakugou sighed and continued. 
“The nurse’s office,” 
Your mouth dropped open in a silent “Ohh”. You tugged your bag over your shoulder as you walked up next to him.
 The walk through the halls was rather silent other than the couple of students that walked past the two of you. But not a word was said between the two of you. At least until he opened his mouth. 
“So, what are your plans after graduating?” he asked, hands in his pocket as he continued to walk by you. 
You let your eyes scan the exterior through the wide UA windows when you responded, “Hm, I think I’ll find a job in a hospital? I think I wanna work in some field with heroes, but I’m not quite sure yet… And you?”
“Obviously I’m gonna a hero,” Bakugou scoffed with a smirk, “Gonna be the best one, at that,” 
“I see,” you let a light laugh slip out at his confidence.
“What’s funny, huh?” he asked, voice suddenly scarily serious. 
Your eyes widened, “Nothing, nothing– It’s just we barely have normal conversations like this. I guess,” you quickly added.
Bakugou hummed in response, coming to a quick stop as the two of you reached the nurse’s office’s door. 
“Well,” you step closer to the door, “Thank you for walking me here, Bakugou,” you smiled.
“Katsuki,”
“Hm?”
He rolled his eyes, “Just call me Katsuki,” he turned the other way quickly before waving you off, “Later, nerd,” 
A laugh escaped you as you watched him walk away, waiting a couple of more moments before walking into the office.
Maybe if you stared for a little longer you would’ve seen the way his ears reddened at your smile.
———
“Oh! Good afternoon Bakugou and Kirishima!” the voice of the elderly woman snapped you awake, causing you to jump in your seat.
You could hear a snicker come from a certain person as you turned to see the two who entered the room.
Your eyes were met with a seemingly beaten up Kirishima and Bakugou, the two having scruffs, scratches and bruises on their skin.
“What were you guys doing this time?” Recovery Lady escorted the two to their own beds, tending to Bakugou’s injuries and gesturing to you to help Kirishima.
“Ah, just training, same as always,” the red head responded with a smile, “Oh, hey Y/N,”
You could feel the ends of your mouth tug upwards at his greeting, “Hey,”
“How’s everything been?” 
As you continued your chatter with Kirishima and helped him with his injuries, you didn’t seem to see or feel the daggers of stares that Bakugou sent in your direction.
On the other hand, Bakugou didn’t even know why he felt like this. 
What was he pissed about? It’s not like the two of you are friends. Did you consider him a friend? Yet why did it feel so utterly annoying to watch you interact with some other guy? 
That was beyond Bakugou. 
Maybe he already knew the answer. And maybe he didn’t want to come to terms with what that answer held.
Either way he couldn’t take another second of this.
“Bakugou? Where are you going—”
The sound of Recovery Lady’s frantic voice caught the attention of you and Kirishima. Your eyebrow raised in confusion as the blonde made his way to the door with the little lady following him.
“You’re not fully healed yet,” the old woman claimed.
“It’s fine,” 
“Let him,” Kirishima said after Bakugou slammed the door shut. “He’s been a little off lately,”
You wrapped a bandage around Kirishima’s elbow, “Off? How?”
Kirishima’s eyes looked up in thought, “He’s been kinda closed off lately; barely comes to our hangouts,”
“Ooh,” you sighed as you continued helping the guy in front of you.
There was a seedling of worry planted in your stomach, and you barely had any clue why. It’s not like you guys were close. He was just some guy who came to the nurse’s office like every other student. Maybe those late nights staying up were finally catching up to you. 
After cleaning up and sending Kirishima off, you were finally left alone. Recovery Lady had left a while ago to fetch some supplies from the storage room. And so that left you and your thoughts alone in the office.
———
A week had gone by.
A week had gone by, and there had been radio silence from Bakugou.
Either training had slowed down or he was completely avoiding you. And either way, it still made you a bit sad. Only a bit. 
Days in the nurse’s office were slow and lonely. You never made a real connection with anyone. People came and people left. They come to get healed and leave. No side talk, albeit a few exceptions. Bakugou being one of those.
 There were times where you thought you saw him entering the nurse’s office when you were leaving, but the glimpses were so small that you chalked it up to your imagination.
It felt like he was consuming your every thought, so you had no choice but to accept the fact that maybe you had a crush on Bakugou. Maybe.
But so what? That was normal, everyone had a crush on him at one point. Too bad you fell victim along with the rest of them, though.
Admitting to yourself that you liked Bakugou was hard, but having to actually deal with the feelings you had was harder. One, because you’ve never really had a serious crush. And two, he was nowhere to be seen. Having a crush on him made your heart beat so quick that you’d use your quirk on yourself to make sure you weren’t having heart problems.
Soon, one week turned into two.
And it seemed like the office was only getting busier as the third years prepared for their finals. Everyone was in and out as they practiced their hand to hand combat more vigorously and more often.
The first couple of days, it was easy. But towards the end of the week, you began to fatigue. Having to balance your own finals and running around the office having to use your quirk over and over was doing a number on you. 
The injuries were becoming worse, the amount was increasing. At times, you were dizzy with how many times you’d have to keep turning around from bed to bed to help someone new. 
Then there was a calm. You barely noticed a full week of finals had swung by, leaving the clinic empty and quiet. 
“Is it alright if I nap during the passing period?” you turn in your chair to Recovery Lady, who is stocking up the medicine cabinets.
“Of course, you should be fine, if anything I can handle anyone who comes in,” she tells you.
You sigh in relief as you walk to the nearest bed on weak legs, basically melting into it as soon as your body hits the cushion. You knock out on the spot, letting your well-deserved slumber overcome you.
———
 Your slumber is interrupted by a slight jolt to the bed frame you’re lying on. You groan as you flip onto your other side. The light escapes through your lashes, creating a blurred light illusion with a silhouette. Your eyes shot open, a silhouette? 
You become conscious of yourself as soon as you realize the one before you is none other than Bakugou Katsuki. There’s a stupid grin on his face which makes you want to slap it right off of him. You sneakily nudge at the drool on the side of your mouth and adjust your clothing and appearance.
“Finally awake, sleeping beauty?” he says from the seat beside you, and it feels like forever since you’ve last heard that voice of his.
“Yeah, because of someone,” you grumbled, eyebrows scrunching up. He laughs, laughs, as his eyes focus on you.
“It’s getting late,” is all he says.
You have half a mind to respond, until you remember that he’s been avoiding you. Your eyebrows tighten together impossibly closer, as you flip to face away from him.
“You’re a dick,” you say matter-of-factly. “You’ve been avoiding me, I’m not stupid,”
Your eyes are jittery as they look everywhere. Trying to focus on something in the room to distract yourself from all of the possibilities of what might come out of his mouth.
“Why do you care?”
His words cause you to sit up, facing him once more. “What do you even mean, why? I used to see you everyday, then suddenly you just walked out and I never saw you again,”
Bakugou’s eyes slightly roll at your words, and it kind of hurts.
“I just thought maybe we were…” your words trail off causing Bakugou to stare at you more intently.
“Were what?”
“I don’t know, friends, or some shit,” you bury your head in your hands out of embarrassment.
“Did I say we weren’t?”
“Well, you never said we were,”
“Didn’t think I had to,” he says, “Thought you were smarter than that, doc,”
You smile at the nickname. “You can leave now, I’m awake, I just have to close up the clinic. Why were you here in the first place?”
“Had to make sure you weren’t dead or something,”
Laughing, you get up to fix the bed sheets. The words that fly out of your mouth come out on their own. 
“What, do you like me or something?”
“Probably,”
His careless response didn’t register in your mind at first, but when it did, you could feel the heat rush from the back of your neck up to the tips of your ears. 
“W-What? You can’t just say that… weirdo,” your eyes flick up at him then back down to the sheets, fluffing up the already neat pillows. 
Silence filters through the room, the only noise filling your ears being the noise of cotton and linen being moved around. Along with the sound of your heartbeat thumping in your ears. It felt so loud, that you swear he could probably hear it as well. You didn’t know what to do, was this real life?
Did those words really just come out of his mouth?
His head tilted and you could feel his gaze on you. It was nerve-wracking, and you were just hoping and praying he’d say something that’d clear your mind. A small, “just kidding,” would be nice right about now. The hurt you’d feel from that would be better than the anxiety you felt at this instant. 
“Say what?” he mocks, and it causes your eye to twitch.
You decide you’re not playing these games with Katsuki Bakugou today, “Oh nothing, must’ve been the wind,” you flutter your eyes before turning the other direction to fix up another bed that looks like it’d been used.
A hand on your wrist puts a stop to your motions, and it immediately makes your head turn back to meet his eyes. 
“B- Katsuki–”
You’d usually be able to come up with something snarky, but right now all your words were caught in your throat. You were actually scared to say the wrong thing for once.
“You were joking right?” you ask him, nervous for what his answer might be.
Bakugou is quick to retort, “Depends, were you?”
You gulp down your anxiety before giving him a response, “N-No,”
“Then? Use that smart little brain of yours, doc,”
“Say it,” you demand, “I’m not playing this little game with you, so say it,”
His ruby eyes roll before connecting gazes with yours once again, “I like you, or something,” he mimics your words from earlier.
You can feel yourself fluster. The dizziness in your head almost made you convince yourself that you were dreaming. If this was a dream, you wanted All Might himself to pop out and punch you across the face.
“Why don’t you say something now, hm?” his grip around your wrist loosens to a more gentle grasp.
His face closens to yours, the distance between the two of you is only breaths-length. 
“Since you’re so smart, you tell me,” you sass, “Take a guess, smartass,” 
A smile quirks at the corner of his mouth, “You’re such a dick,” he whispers under his breath before closing the distance completely, his lips locking with yours. 
Your eyes widen at the pure shock, but you ultimately melt into the kiss. It’s sweet and you can feel the two of you smiling into it. 
When the two of you part, you can feel slight embarrassment wash over you. “You’re an ass, you didn’t even let me confess, my high school sweetheart experience is ruined forever, 
Bakugou lets out a breathy laugh at your words, “Thought you wanted me to take a guess,” 
“And if you were wrong?” 
“Hah, as if,”
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atrwriting · 3 months
Text
mercy — fem!highborn!reader x davos blackwood
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was everyone else going crazy to find out that this man is actually named davos ?? absolutely wild. i refuse to believe it is davos, but alas — i must comply.
someone said that this guy would match your freak and i haven’t been able to unsee it and therefore i compose
as always, warnings: smuuuuuuut, knife play, choking, swearing, switch reader, power bottom davos, my very own self indulgence
____
with your family and several others declaring for rhaenyra targaryen, the one true queen, it led to others seeing women in a different light. a daughter of a highborn family like you would not be trapped to embroider for the rest of your life — unless you wanted to. that was the beauty of choice and what rhaenyra had started — you should have the same opportunities of men in that age, including the opportunity and ability to choose.
and so you did: you chose to fight.
with war brewing, how could you stand by and only wield a needle and thread when you didn’t want to and had the ability to do something else? what, were you going to embroider the war? some battle with red thread? illustrating the rage and fighting of men losing their lives with and against fire and blood? absolutely not. if you could wield a sword instead, and weren’t half bad — maybe that would save someone else from fighting.
and so you did. you started training.
you weren’t half bad, honestly — given your size and age. most men began when they were boys and very small, growing into their strength and work ethic. you could not be blamed for your lack of skill — it just meant that when you could wield a sword against a worthy opponent and beat them, you would gain the respect you deserve.
and you would work for it. you had to.
in order to achieve that, you had to actually find willing opponents. despite the fact that they declared for rhaenyra, that did not mean that other soldiers wanted to face a woman in a fair fight. you tried not to take it too personally — as they would probably fear for your father’s response if you had been hurt. you tried to understand, but you wanted to improve — needed to improve.
however, there was one person that was willing to spar with you.
you rolled your eyes just thinking of the name.
davos blackwood.
there was nothing wrong with him — but he bothered you. got under your skin in a way that no other man could, nor even dream of being able to. he taunted you the first time you had ever met him, and taunted you further towards the first time you had ever sparred with him. you did not mind someone baiting you, but to be constantly reminded of your lack of skill, your womanhood, and the approaching war was a weight on one’s shoulders that a beginner could not always bear the weight of. they would not expect a young boy to withstand that pressure, and didn't understand why davos would expect you to handle it. when that insecurity was opened and showcased for onlookers to see fighting in daylight, it was even harder. you didn’t understand why he was trying so hard to, frankly, haze you — and it’s not like he seemed open to fair or friendly communication.
so you tried to avoid him.
you tried.
you really, really did try… but in the end, he was the only one willing — and you had to learn.
you sighed with reluctance — knowing what you had to do.
when he was alone in the camp you were both staying at, you walked up to him.
“...lord blackwood?” you asked, trying to refrain from using a soft voice.
he turned around to face you, a smirk already growing on his lips. one of his hands was lazily gripping the hilt of his sword, while the other grasped his hip. his shoulders were wide and strong — indicative of how skilled of a fighter he was. you clenched your teeth — hoping you wouldn’t regret this, as you could only benefit. you had to keep reminding yourself of that — a means to an end. that's all this is and would be. it's worth it. you then tried to meet his eyes as the wind swept his brown hair from his line of sight.
if he wasn’t so snarky, you might have found him attractive.
might have.
“yes, my lady?” he asked.
you could hear his smirk in his tone — like he already knew what you were going to ask, and how much you did not want to ask it.
you folded your bottom lip in between your teeth. “...would you be willing to spar with me?”
“i would,” he replied. “you have not asked me since our last. i have some time now — should we find an open space?”
you shook your head. “perhaps this evening... when people have retired?”
he raised an eyebrow, obviously displeased with your decision. “...why is that, my lady?”
“less of an audience, my lord,” you tried to say confidently.
he raised an eyebrow at you. “battles are not won in private, my lady.”
you tried to keep your tone flat, fighting the urge to turn your nose up at him. “i’m aware.”
“so why do you not join me now?”
“i would like to make mistakes once or twice in private — and then i will feel more comfortable where others can see.”
“you would do fine now, my lady,” he spoke, but then dipped his head. “but as you wish.”
you felt dirty after he agreed — you couldn't put your finger on why. the dip of his head — like he was giving into the conquest and silly dream of that of a young girl. a young, naive, innocent girl who would never be taken seriously, no matter how hard she tried — but you couldn't think like that. you couldn't afford to — especially not during the time of war. you swallowed you pride, and waited for your meeting.
he kept his promise. later that evening, when the sun was setting, you finally met him in the sword shed before you intended to meet him in the makeshift arena. you found him sharpening his sword, face being illuminated by the lamp light. you entered the shed.
"good evening, my lady," he greeted, with a hint of grit in his voice.
you narrowed your eyes at him. "good evening, lord blackwood."
"following in your fashion — should we start with something easy? something, say — one starts with at the wee age of — eleven, perhaps?"
“i never asked you to go easy on me — but i would have hoped that after i voiced my concerns as to why i would prefer not to have an audience when i spar with you, you would’ve understood.”
“and — pray tell, my lady, why would i have understood?”
you slapped your sides in defeat, beginning to get frustrated at the fact that he couldn’t read between the fucking lines. your cheeks were beginning to pinch at the feeling of flush. “because it was like you were constantly reminding me that i am new to this and that it was unlikely that i would ever get better!"
he raised his eyebrows then, eyes widening. the smirk was still playing at his lips, as he couldn't help but let an amused chuckle push past his lips — intending mockery. “my intention was to make you better, my lady.”
you shook your head in disbelief, almost scoffing. “i just — it would’ve been nice —“
“nice?” he scoffed, walking towards you then. he approached you with his hands behind his back, but his walk was led by his head, neck, and shoulders. it stuck out at you like he couldn't wrap his head around as to how you could believe or say such a thing. “my lady, there is no nice on the battle field. not only do you have to beat the swords you go up against, but also the men wielding them. i was not nice to you because there is not enough time. you do not have enough time to learn at the pace of a boy, because you are a learning to fight as a woman during the time where another woman is fighting for her crown. you need to be good — for your family, for your army, for your queen — and because i want you to be good.”
you narrowed your eyes at him, sucking in a sharp breath at his words. there stood davos, pleading with you to have confidence in your own ability and skill — despite how he always made you doubt it. you didn't know what to think, let alone believe. “i am not naive enough to believe that the battle field is nice — just forget it, i can’t —“
you went to turn away, but he stopped you. he grabbed you by the elbow, and you immediately turned to face him. within almost an instant, you had stopped his other arm. you shoved his grip down at the same time you pressed a knife to the skin of his neck with your free hand.
you bared your teeth at him, the tip of your nose pulsing into a snarl. there was a dagger to his throat, but nothing compared to the ones you shot with your eyes. your pupils dilated so the only thing in your vision was blackwood and his dark eyes, only focused on yours. both sets of eyes had seen peace and danger, fire and ice —but neither knew the feeling you had when you looked into davos blackwood's eyes and witnessed the exact moment he realized you had been the one to best him. to have his throat at the mercy of your wrist, and have him still smirk down at you — was a feeling that startled you, and excited you.
he pushed against the blade, forcing you to reluctantly allow his head to lower to yours. you could feel his hot breath on your face, shrinking your space. "is that what will make you feel more confident, my lady? — you think you can best me, with a knife to my throat?"
he walked forward, forcing you backwards. you continued taking steps backward when he did not stop. soon, your back was pressed up against a table your lower back had been stopped by. the force of davos' hips collided with yours, pressing you against the table. the plumpness of your ass was pushed into the wood as davos planted himself between your thighs. "is this how you make yourself feel safe? — because even if i am stronger, that does not negate the fact that in a moment's time you could bleed me."
"i could —" you bit — as if that statement was something monumental. as if you hadn't agreed with his own statement. as if it wasn't pathetic.
you watched as he realized that fact the same time you did.
"but will you?" he asked, in a soft, taunting voice.
"i could," you spat again.
pathetic, you spat to yourself in your head. at that same moment, davos smirked down at you.
"there is nothing more enticing than a woman who knows her strength," he spoke, tone threatening to break. "especially against a man whom they both know could end her.”
“testing me, davos?” you spat, nose turning up at him. his smirk wavered when he felt the sharpness of the blade scrape his skin, threatening to draw blood.
“oh — i find myself doing more than that, my lady,” he pressed forward once more, so your noses were almost touching. there were inches — barely inches — between your lips, words ghosting over your skin. his breaths hit your lips with such force you almost believed they were touching. you couldn't let it show on your face — couldn’t let him know he was winning, or that he won. “you want to keep that blade at my throat? be my guest — as long as you let me do this.”
with your lower back pressed against the table and the knife flat on his throat, davos locked you in by placing both of his hands on either side of your thighs. he leaned forward, and he took what he wanted. he took, and took, and took until you were putty in his hands. he held your lips hostage with his own, leaving you at his mercy. mercy, mercy, mercy. you were jailed in his embrace, hating and relishing it at the same time.
your free hand gripped his collar, pulling him into your knife and you. you didn’t even realize you were doing it — or maybe you didn’t want to admit it. maybe you didn’t want to admit that you liked the man who constantly bullied you, nor that you liked the boldness in his smirk before he kissed you.
“you bastard —“ your insult was breathless. pathetic. ridiculous. it made him smile, and it only made your pride and shame swirl in your chest more. how dare he? how could he? “you fucking — !“
“that’s right, my sweet — “ he grunted, pushing your skirts to the side. you felt the cool air hit your exposed thighs, a blush rising to your cheeks. he laughed against your lips before sliding his tongue into your mouth. you could’ve if you wanted to — you so could’ve — you could’ve, you could’ve, you fucking could’ve, but you didn’t want to — you didn’t want to push him away. the knife, still pressed against his skin, wanted to push him away. wanted to cut him. wanted to bring him pain. wanted to get him away — but you? no. your body’s reluctance fell away once you felt his hands slips between your thighs. “hate me — come on — show me how strong you are — show me how much you fucking hate me.”
his thumb was on your clit, sensitive with excitement and anger — never been touched before. his finger drew circles; a long curve on the top of your bundle of nerves, fast when it made he made his way towards the top of the circle once more. long, and drawn out was his torture. he wound you up tight, only for him and at his mercy. he shoved his middle and ring finger inside you, letting the pads of his fingers rub the length of the roof of your cunt. the beckoning motion brought you closer and closer to him, no matter how hard you tried to fight him inside.
“keep that knife at my throat, my lady,” he spat. “let’s see if you can keep a steady hand without drawing blood when i make you cum. — i’m betting you can’t.”
“fuck…” you trailed off off, getting lost in his movements. “f-fuck you.”
“that’s all the brave fighter’s got?” he spat into your ear, making your hair stand. “weak words? you claimed you were of a higher skill — am i going to be the one to prove you wrong?"
you couldn’t concentrate. you couldn’t. there was no way. it would’ve been useless to even try. your let your neck relax as his lips found the length of the side of your jaw, kissing and nibbling at the clammy skin. he found your pulse point — thumpthumpthumpthumpthump — and sucked the blood from the source, and to the surface. you couldn’t see, but you felt the blood rise to the top of the skin and settle. your blood, your veins, your fucking heart was pounding as it rested at his mercy. his. him. davos. he controlled every part of you — including where your blood moved, pooled, and clotted — and you didn’t know how to feel about it. you were swimming in his embrace, holding onto him for dear fucking life.
“fuck, fuck, fuck…” you cried.
“that’s right, my sweet,” he spoke. groaning in your ear, “that’s it. show me. show me how much you hate me. i want that knife to almost cut me when you cum. i want to see the look of hatred in your eyes when you make a mess on my fucking sword hand.”
you couldn’t stop it.
you couldn’t.
it was useless. pathetic. worthless.
your head fell against his strong, broad shoulder and you felt every part of your being lose control. every single one of your muscles tightened. your grip on the hilt on the knife tightened and the grip on his leathers tightened. everything was so fucking tight you didn’t know how the strings inside of you that were wound so tight didn’t fucking snap. it should’ve snapped. it should’ve snapped like the light behind your eyes, blinding white being the only thing you could see. you thought you could hear your own cries, his grunts — but you weren’t sure. your were lost, floating in your own release while his fingers didn’t relent against you.
“so-so sensitive,” you choked out, vision still hazy.
“you think i’m done with you?” he spoke. your strength was beginning to waver, as was your knife from his throat. you could feel the exact moment he realized it. “can’t even keep a knife to my throat at your most vulnerable? how do you expect to fair, yeah? in battle? — shall i get you a needle and thread instead, my lady?"
something inside of you snapped inside you for a second time that night — but this time it was anger. your gaze, aflame, caught his. how dare he? how fucking dare he? with a snarl, you spat, “unlace your fucking leathers, blackwood.”
fire also danced within his irises as the corners of his mouth raised once again. for the first time that evening, you had me davos' fight as an equal match.
you would not back down.
his fingers left your dripping cunt, and he began working at his strings. you struggled to catch your breath as you came down from your high, forcing yourself to regain composure. and, yet — there was davos. smirking. confidently. not fearing the knife at his throat, nor fearing the girl who held it, nor that she was now his match.
his tore his eyes away from you to spit on his hand, coating his long member. though angry, you couldn’t help but grow hungry at the sight of his red, leaking tip. there was no desperation on his face, but davos blackwood had control over his expression. his demeanor. his emotions. but his cock? red and neglected? there was no control. it plunged into your sopping wet cunt, buried in you until the hilt.
your cunt blossomed around him. you felt your walls blossom for the man on top of you. your womb, warm and welcoming, wanted to suck him in and never let him leave. you had never known pleasure like this, wanting even the most frustrating of men to give it to you.
you threw the knife on the ground.
you pressed your flat palm to his throat, curling around it. your squeezed the sides of his throat. your teeth were bared once more, fighting for dominance against the predator before you.
davos smiled, diminishing your resolve.
“there she is,” he spat, smirk wide with his teeth on display. “there’s my fighter.”
"fuck you," you replied.
"good," he responded, before sliding his length inside of you.
that was the thing with davos — showing vulnerability like succumbing to pleasure made you feel weak, whereas davos never felt weak. even in a vulnerable state such as this — this, joining bodies as one, each thrusting their hips against the other seeking to reach their own peak, while also relishing in the fact that you were helping the other reach theirs. his fingers dug into the flesh of your hips, deliciously painful and bittersweet. even in his most vulnerable state, davos radiated power. there was dominance in his state of weakness and pleasure that was asserted over you, and you had no choice to bow — no choice but to give in.
“you missed me so bad, didn’t you?”
there you were — a light sheen of sweat on your skin glistening with the dim light of the lantern as you thrusted your hips to meet his. there was one firm hand of his, pressing down on your stomach. every time he could feel the thrust of his own cock through the soft skin of your stomach, you witnessed a flash of mischief in his dark irises. a groan collected in the back of davos' throat — building, building, and building until it came out in a growl. carnal. animalistic. untamed, and all yours. you couldn't help but moan at the sound, sending a gush of pleasure swirling around his cock. he glanced up at you, smile being illuminated by the lantern.
“that’s it, my sweet — whine for me.”
and you did. oh fuck, you did. it was all you could do besides let your muscles go taut at the idea of losing all control to the pleasure of the tip of his cock hitting that space behind your clit deep inside you. once more. that's all you needed. once more. one more peak. your pride would understand — you could not feel shame with the feeling of pleasure so electrifying. every crook of your body was hot and clammy — but you didn’t care. you couldn’t care, and neither could he.
“you just want to cum, don’t you?” he asked. “i know you do, yes? — answer me.”
he slapped your your sensitive clit. it sent sparks up and down your nerve endings, making you squeal and jump. you glanced up at him, and immediately connected your gaze with his dark one. his eyes tested you — your pride, your shame, and your being. however, the want and need in your hips was stronger than you — but that didn't matter. that was the strength and fight davos' wanted, and he would lose to.
“i do,” you whimpered, folding your bottom lip into your mouth. your eyes, like a doe’s, pleaded with him through your thick lashes. you thought you saw a flash of pride on his face, but you couldn’t tell. “fuck, youfuckingbastard — please, davos, just a little longer… ‘m so close.”
“ohhh — that right, my lady? yeah?” his gaze was heavy — dark, tired, but fueled by lust. his throat was worn and scratchy, and the thickness of his voice mirrored it. “showing that fight you promised me, yeah? just like i asked? so beautiful and fucking strong —”
"fuck..." you sobbed. your womb was blooming once more, sucking him in farther and farther into you. he welcomed the pull from your warm, wet, and gummy walls — for you had no strength to push him from you, and neither did he.
"shall i spill my seed into you, my sweet?" he asked, chuckling darkly. he cock continued to pound into your throbbing cunt until you could only think davos, davos, davos. your grip on his throat grew tighter — but not because of your anger, but because you could only cling onto something to hold you present. "shall we create the bravest, most dangerous fighter there has ever been?"
his words were beginning to slur together, like ears underwater. your brain was swimming, being pushed and pulled through saltwater waves that wove ropes around your lungs and hips.
"if you dare..." you whined, failing at sounding brave.
"i would dare," he immediately spat, plunging his cock in once more.
your grip on his throat tightened as he spanked your clit once more, sending you spinning. your thighs locked around him, pulling you into your core and trapping him there. it only enraged him — energized him. it was the final fire that spread throughout him to snap his hips once, twice, thrice more into you and spill himself inside you. your peak made you cling to your lover in the lamp light — holding onto him as you both fell forward into each other, clinging to each other.
you had fallen onto his shoulder, seeking rest. his cheek was pressed against the side of your face. his lips pressed a warm, wet kiss on your cheek — and then another onto the love bite he left on your skin. you felt his tongue poke through his soft lips and lick the bruised skin, sealing his mark in. with his dark gruff voice, davos stated, "that is how you best a man, my lady."
"fuck you."
----
so what do we think? love u guys xoxoox - L
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purplecoffee13 · 19 days
Note
Been in a nerdy H mood so maybe he’s got a crush on his co worker who is the complete opposite of him on the outside yet they both have so much in common! He’s not necessarily “smooth” but the reader finds it charming and sweet.
Ah yes, love me a nerdy Harry! Here you have it! I think it turned out cute, but I hope you like it as well!!
Wc: 1.7k
Warnings: none, just Harry being an awkward cutie!
It was a Monday morning. A dull prospect for anyone with an office job, but Harry found himself to be quite excited at the idea of strolling into the office this morning.
His big fat crush on one of his co-workers, Y/N, was the main instigator of that cheeriness that he brought into the office, along with a box of doughnuts for his fellow colleagues. And yes, it may also have been a ploy to talk to Y/N.
Harry wasn't the best at communicating. No, scratch that. Harry could be great at communicating... business plans. Feelings, however? Nope. Big disaster.
There were strings in his brain he'd need to pull to hold a good flirty conversation but they seemed to be just out of reach for him, which was quite unfortunate because it's not like he had his looks working against him.
Harry knew he wasn't ugly. Plenty of times, very beautiful women had come up to him. He often times was surprised with the beauty of these women approaching him. His mates always called him the 'most handsome one', and he did work out a lot to keep himself healthy. So yes, he could say he was well groomed.
And he'd hook up regularly. With women he'd meet at a crowded bar or a dark night club. Interactions that required little talking is where he strived. He got the standard dirty talk down, and since his confidence always skyrocketed in that department, it was the only kind of conversation he could hold. Then again, that might also be because the women he'll talk to are too fucked out of their mind to say anything.
Long story short, Harry was great, until he liked someone. So, instead of being able to come up with some witty comment to kickstart a conversation, he was now walking up to his work crush with a chocolate glazed donut.
Y/N was hunched over her work, tapping her pen against the paperwork that she seemed to be completely entranced by. Harry stopped right next to her, and was suddenly filled with a terror that made him want to crawl back into the hole he came from.
He didn't get the chance to do that, though, as Y/N looked up and met his eyes just as he decided he was going to turn back around. She smiled at the sight of him.
"Hi." She greeted with her soft voice.
"Hey." Harry breathed, his heart racing like maniac, and forgetting why he was here again until he spotted the donut in his hand. Right.
“I brought you a donut.” He stated, reaching it out to her. Her eyes fell to the food in his hand, and she chuckled as she took it from him.
“Thanks.” She said as she put it on her desk before looking back up at Harry, waiting for him to say something else.
Something else… what the fuck should he say?!
“Uh— well, I brought them for the entire office. But everyone’s grabbing at them so I figured I’d bring you one before they… ran out.” His ramble slowed down near the end of the sentence, only now realizing how stupid he was sounding. He was to kick himself in the head! Maybe it’d knock some conversational skills into him, jeez.
“Thanks Harry, I appreciate it.” Y/N tilted her head slightly, taking her bottom lip between her teeth. Fuck, how could she possibly look so hot and sweet at the same time?
“N— no problem… so I, uh I should probably—”
“Hey, did you end up watching that mini series I recommended?”
Harry’s eyes widened. He hadn’t expected her to keep the conversation going for so long.
“Uh, yes actually.” He responded.
Y/N and Harry, despite it not seeming that way, had a shitload in common. They both loved the same books, movies and series. They were both obsessed with murder documentaries and they had a mutual fascination with women in jazz.
So when Y/N recommended this crazy documentary series about the Night Stalker last week, Harry immediately watched it when he got home. He stayed up until one to binge it entirely and was groggy the entire following day. But it was worth it.
In fact, every thing Y/N would rave about, he’d check out. He couldn’t help it. He wanted to understand her better, and since he didn’t know how to— well, you know, TALK to her, he took this weird route.
Y/N gasped happily. “Did you like it?!”
“It was horrifying.” Harry stated. “I loved it.”
Y/N’s face broke out into a wide smile, and she leaned over her desk to grab her phone before she got up to stand next to Harry.
“Oh, I also found this weird documentary about the titanic on YouTube. The quality isn’t very good, it’s like very old, but I’ve been wanting to watch it for ages and I couldn’t find it anywhere. It’s so interesting! They like— act it out and everything.”
Harry just stared at the excited woman next to him as she typed in all kinds of things on her phone. He only took his eyes off her when she showed the video.
“You should send it to me.” Harry said, already fascinated with the first 20 seconds she was showing him. He leaned in further, his body grazing against hers. When he felt her gaze on him, his cheeks turned pink. “Uh, via work-email, if you want—”
She let out a breathy laugh. “Or you could give me your number.”
Harry was sure he could’ve fainted. Oh my god, oh my god. He was properly freaking out, well, internally.
“Right, yes.” He said, sounding a bit absent from how shocked he was about her asking him his number. When he realized he must’ve not sounded too enthusiastic about it, he suddenly began reaching for his phone in his pocket. “Yes! Uhm, wait, let me unlock it.”
Y/N looked eager as he typed in his password, went to his contact app and handed the phone to her. She giggled as she typed in her number before giving the phone back.
“You’ll have to text me first.” She said, and he nodded, immediately going to the chat and sending a ‘hey’. He let himself sigh in relief at how good this was going for the short second her phone dinged and she was concentrated on putting Harry in her contacts. That went away the second Y/N pointed the camera of her phone to him.
“What are you doing?” Harry laughed nervously.
“Giving you a contact photo.”
“And you want to do that now?”
“No time like the present.” She peered from behind her phone. “Now, smile!”
Harry smiled, at her ridiculousness that was, but he smiled nonetheless. Y/N let out a happy squeal as she turned the phone around and showed the picture to Harry. He grinned at the picture, but inside he was freaking out a bit. Jesus, did he really look at her like that? She was going to figure out he was crushing on her if he kept staring at her like that. Stupid fool! Did he have to be so obvious.
“Beautiful.” She said so lowly it was almost a whisper as she put in the contact photo. Harry’s heart skipped a beat. He couldn’t fucking handle this anymore.
“Y/N.” He piped up before he could lose his nerve. Y/N hummed, looking up at her. “Would you like to go on a—”
“Styles! Stop chitchatting and get in here! The meeting is starting in three minutes!” Timmy, his co-worker cut off the question that Harry had been dying to ask for the past months.
“Shit. I have to go. Uh, have a good— I mean… erm, enjoy the donut.” He said and turned on his heels, racing to the meeting room. He was shouting profanities at himself in his mind. Fucking hell.
Enjoy your donut? Fool!
That was the only word he could think of that matched his personality well enough during the entire meeting. He didn’t catch any of what was said, but mindlessly nodded along anyway.
He sighed when he finally got back to his office and sat down in his chair. He whipped out his phone to put it on his desk, and his eyes flew to two unread messages from a number he hadn’t seen before. He unlocked his phone, and his stomach clenched at the sight of the messages.
Unknown Number
“Hi!”
“This is Y/N, by the way.”
Harry smiled, looking through his window to Y/N’s desk. It was how he noticed her in the first place. When she began working here, she was placed at that desk and Harry had received the luxury of being able to look at her beautiful face as many times a day as he wanted.
Harry
“Right, put you in my contacts.”
Harry wrote back, and suddenly felt a flash of boldness washing over him. Texting was easier, it wasn’t half as nerve wracking as standing in front of Y/N. He could think of his answers properly before saying them.
Harry
“I’m only missing a contact photo, though.”
A few minutes went by, and Harry was done starting up his laptop when his phone screen lit up again. He clicked on the message, and was met with a picture of Y/N.
It was a selfie of her with the donut he brought her this morning. She had placed the donut in front of her mouth, showing off her breathtaking eyes.
Y/N
“Will this one do?”
Fuck yes it did.
Harry
“It’s approved.”
He peered over at Y/N’s desk and noticed her smiling as she texted something back. His stomach fluttered. He was all giddy over this.
Y/N
“I have some bad news for you though.”
Harry looked up at Y/N again, frowning. When their eyes met, he noticed that she still had that playful grin on her face, which broke out in a mischievous laugh before she began typing again.
Y/N
“I’ve decided to revoke your access to the Titanic documentary.”
Harry bit his lip, excitement coursing through his veins.
Harry
“Now that’s just brutal. How am I supposed to watch it, then?”
Y/N
“How about Friday night, at my place? :)”
Harry’s eyes nearly popped out of his sockets as he read the text. It knocked the wind out of him, and he had to remind himself how to breathe before even thinking of a response because he’d forgotten how to do it for a second.
He was so excited he could jump through a roof.
Harry
“That sounds like a very good solution :)”
If anyone is truly interested in that Titanic documentary, here ya go.
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familyvideostevie · 11 months
Text
the meaning of it all
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
joel miller x reader
summary: Joel Miller, of all people, teaches you to ask for help. 
word count: 13.6k
warnings: jackson au, post part i, joel and ellie worked it out! joel is soft! language, violence, fluff, learning to accept help and love.
a/n: this fic is a soft joel (think part ii joel but make it two years into jackson because he and ellie resolved everything <3) and a reader who is much more me than i've written before. i hope you like it! thank you again to @strangerfreaks who held my hand through this, i owe you my life.
___
Luck. God damned old-fashioned thank-fuck-for-that luck has kept you alive since the world ended. Deep festering rage and a near-constant state of fear have helped. But every bullet you've found, every undamaged can of food, every shot that landed in the right place so you were the last one standing -- that's all luck. Or a curse, depending on the day. Depending on how you're feeling about it all.
And Jackson? That's the biggest stroke of luck you've had in twenty years. A single woman on her own with plenty of working years left and no obvious red flags was probably a no-brainer for the community to take in but you feel like you've finally made it. After two decades of violence and horror and pain, you fucking made it somewhere safe.
You spend as much time as you can making sure everyone knows how grateful you are. You don't have any special skills, not really. You can shoot well enough, cook well enough, clean well enough. Young enough when all the shit went down that you don't have a trade or any work experience, you just go wherever they need someone in town.
Keeping busy means you're bone-tired most nights. Exhausted sleep means fewer nightmares, less time to wander the halls of your very nice but much too-big-for-you-home and miss everything you've lost. But picking up shifts wherever you can also means you don't meet many people beyond hellos and exchanging names. Farming is easy and you get to work with a lot of the kids in town, daycare much the same. You're lousy with power tools but you're able to carry materials wherever they're needed. Cooking is easy when it's stew for hundreds of people and doing dishes is even fun when someone turns on the radio. You're making it work.
Patrol is...patrol. You're able, so you're on the roster. It's not that you hate it, not exactly. Going outside the walls makes you feel like you're someone else. You slip back into the mask of fear and anger, the one that kept you alive for so long. And the worst part is it's comfortable. 
You've done the training runs, the group patrols for three months. Infected still freak you out a little but you're smart enough to be more scared of people. All of the senior patrol members have cleared you for paired patrols and today is your first one.
Tommy meets you at the stables to check-in.
You don't really have any friends, though everyone is perfectly nice to you, but Tommy and Maria are probably as close as it gets.  You figure they take a shine to newcomers like you, ones who come in alone, maybe to keep an eye on them as much as anything else. But they've both got a smile and kind word for you whenever you see them, always asking if you need anything. You always tell them no, you're fine, thank you.
"You ready?" Tommy says. "I've had them pull Apollo for you." You pat yourself one more time to make sure you have everything. Pistol on your thigh, knife at your hip, pack secure on your back. Hat and gloves tucked into your jacket pocket to account for the wind on the trails.
"I think so," you tell him. You blow a raspberry at your horse and he blows back, nudging your shoulder with his nose.
"After this, pretty sure you'll have done every job there is to do in this town. Pullin' crops, plantin' crops, cookin' crops. Kids, the library, cleanin', buildin' that ramp at Lenore's last month. You've been here, what, six months? And you've done it all."
It should make you feel good that he's noticed. It does, but only a little. You still feel like you could work every day for the rest of your life and not repay what he and this town have given you. To make up for the things you've done on the road.
"I'm the best floater in Jackson," you joke instead. Smiling makes people like you. You haven't had much cause to smile in recent years so you're still getting used to the urge. Tommy scoffs. "I don't do important council stuff like you and Maria, though."
He ignores that. "Y'know, pretty sure they call that a jack-of-all-trades. A real Ren-ai-ssance woman." You try to come up with a retort, eyes wandering to the patrol assignment board. Your name is under ELK CREEK and under it is --
"Quit harassin' her."  Tommy rolls his eyes and flips off whoever comes up behind you. You turn around and see a man you know of but have never actually met.
"Joel," Tommy says. "I believe this is called havin' a conversation. You ever tried it?"
"Funny," Joel replies. He nods at you. "You my partner today?"
"Seems so." You introduce yourself, Apollo's warm breath at your back.
"Joel Miller," he says back.
You're a little intimidated, truth be told. You know him by reputation mostly. Tommy's big brother who came to town a few years ago with a little girl. They're both pretty much everywhere. Joel fixing houses and talking to kids in the street, going on patrols and always bringing back extra for whoever needs it. Ellie galloping around town with other teenagers and bringing home the biggest game. You've handed her books a few times at the library, too, seen her bright eyes and infectious energy underneath teenage angst that transcends even an apocalypse. And you've seen them together, heads down in the dining hall or pressed closed walking down the street -- heard rumors about why they came here, how they came here, too -- and one thing is clear to you: the Millers are beloved. By this town and by each other.
It's a miracle all its own in this fucked up world.
"You two ain't met yet?" Tommy says, pointing at the space between you. You snap out of your thoughts. "You've been here long enough to have met everyone by now."
"Guess not," you say with a wry smile. The younger Miller is too polite to call you out for not having a single friend in that time period, either.
"Well, here we are," Joel says. "Gonna keep us here forever, Tommy? Or can we do our job?"
Tommy claps him on the shoulder and winks at you. "Tone down the asshole for her first paired patrol, yeah?"
Joel snorts. He grabs a horse that was already tacked for him and leads it out of the stable. You follow with Apollo. The patrol coordinator hands out rifles and reminds everyone of the rules.
You hop on your horse. "You ready?" Joel asks, startling you a bit. "We'll gallop to the mouth of the river and then start patrollin'."
Something in you relaxes a bit at his clear confidence in you to handle yourself. You know you're with him for a reason -- he's one of the best. That, or maybe he just doesn't give a shit. Somehow you think it's the former.
You follow him up the hill outside the gates and through the tree line. The noise of the Outside is different than that of Jackson. Birdsong, snapping branches and dry brush under your horse, the wind rippling down the hill. You take a deep breath through your nose and feel a part of you come alive. It's funny how a world so beautiful can be so deadly.
Joel gallops a little ahead of you, strong and steady. You watch him, think about what you know. He's older than you, that much is obvious. Greying hair curling around his ears, lines on his face from more than just a stressful life. But he's strong, good at what he does. Those rumors come back to the front of your mind. How he and Ellie showed up, half-starved and bloody. How he and Tommy are the most famed patrol duo for Infected kills and otherwise. It makes you feel safe. It makes you want to learn from him. It makes you want to know more.
And he's got kind eyes. Somehow, he's got kind eyes.
"Alright," Joel calls back to you. "Route starts here." He slows his horse and you pull up beside him. He shifts in his saddle and turns his face to you. "Now, I know this is your first pair," he says. "I won't order you around or nothin' but my main piece of advice is that everyone has a different patrol style. Know how to adapt."
You dig your gloves out of your pockets and wiggle them on. Joel watches before his eyes snap back to yours. "Noted." You honestly didn't think he'd talk this much. "And let me guess. Yours is patrol in silence?" You punctuate the nervous quip with a smile.
Joel snorts. "Nah," he says. "Unless you're Max. Can't stand that fucker."
It startles a laugh out of you and any ice you'd imagined breaks for good. Max is one of the middle-aged men who probably would have been a lawyer or a politician based on the way he likes the sound of his own voice.
"Now," Joel says. "You done this route before?" His knuckles are a little red but he doesn't put on any gloves.
"Twice, I think. First log book in that old station, right?" Joel nods. "Second in the town?" He nods again.
"Color me impressed." His mouth tugs up at the corner into something you might call a smile. You try not to look too pleased with yourself. "Some of the dipshits on the roster don't even remember that much."
It feels like you've passed a test. His praise makes you feel nice. Noticed. Not something you often seek but you know yourself well enough to admit that you'd like a little more of it. Even if it's from a man you just met.
"Not that hard," you say softly. Joel looks at you for a moment longer before clicking his teeth. His horse starts to walk. You signal to Apollo to follow.
The patrol goes off without a hitch. Joel signs the log book in the station and you sign it in the tower. He lets you snipe two runners that he spots and doesn't scold you when you take three tries on the second one.
"Settlin' in okay?" he asks once you've rounded the town one last time and started back towards Jackson. "Six months, Tommy said?"
Despite his earlier words, you haven't chatted much this patrol. While you'd like to know more about him, want to get him to smile at you again, you're really just enjoying being out here with someone else, knowing that you're safe. That you've got somewhere to go back to.
"It's nice," you sigh. "I never imagined I'd find a place like this."
You really should pick up the pace to get back to town but he doesn't seem to be in any hurry.
"I know the feelin'," he murmurs. "Ellie'n me slept on the floor for a good two weeks at the start. Been two years and some nights I don't take my boots off."
"What a fucking life, huh?" That earns you a wry smile. "Having a house is...strange. All of the hinges squeak and I --"
"The hinges squeak?" You look over at him and Joel's brows are furrowed.
"Oh, I mean, it's no big deal --" You stumble over apologies. You don't want him to think you're complaining about a home his brother gave you when he sure as shit didn't have to.
Joel taps his thumb on the pommel of his saddle. "Can get that fixed, y'know."
You didn't know, actually. "Really?"
Now he looks at you like you're a little stupid. "Ain't you the one hauling shit to people's houses when they need a hand?"
He has a point and you hate it. It never occurred to you to ask for someone to come fix your hinges. They're just hinges, for fuck's sake. Other people have holes in their floorboards or leaks or need new rooms for family members. You're just...you.
Joel sighs. It feels like you've disappointed him and it swirls in your gut. "I'll take a look at it this week."
Your neck cracks audibly with how quickly you look up at him. "What? No, Joel, you don't have to --"
He says your name in a tone that you know means no arguing. "I know I don't have to. I offered."
"You don't even know me!" The words fly from your mouth before you can stop them.
He brings his horse to a full stop so quick you almost run into him.
"Look," he says. His gaze holds yours. Wow, he really can be intimidating when he wants to be. You can only imagine the things he's done, the things he's capable of. Anyone who has made it this long has blood on their hands. You've washed it from your own skin plenty of times. And yet, you feel completely safe. And you know that you'll probably do whatever he tells you. "I know how it can be."
Your gut swirls. "You don't know what I've been through," you say softly. It's not a jibe, it's just the truth. No one knows because you've told no one because it doesn't matter. You're here now.
"I've been alive for a while longer than you," he continues. "I've seen the world, just as you have. I've been out here. I was out here for a long, long time." He runs a hand through his beard, fiddles with his broken watch in what looks like reflex. "I know how hard it is to ask. To get back to something that makes any damn sense. But you can if you try."
The words linger in the chill around you. He's right, obviously. He's so fucking right that you want to be mad. You haven't asked for anything because you don't want to fracture the good thing you've got. Don't want to be too much, to be a burden they can't support, to make people think you don't deserve to be in Jackson. All things that don't make any fucking sense, not really, but you can't stop them. It's just how you're wired.
"So I'm comin' over this week to fix those hinges. Alright?"
"Alright." Something in Joel softens when you agree.
"Good," he says. "Good."
You finish the patrol in comfortable silence. All told it's been nice. To talk to someone, to feel like they give a shit about you even for just a few hours. You have no doubt Joel will be over to fix your hinges but you figure it'll fizzle out after that -- it always does. You don't know how to ask someone to stick around, anyway. But even this little bit of him will have been worth it.
Something both loosens and tightens in your chest when you get back to Jackson and through the gates. Goodbye beautiful, horrible outside world, hello safety, community, home. It's a trade-off. You and Joel hop off your horses and return your rifles. You're about to hand Apollo off to be brushed and returned to the stables when you feel a hand on your shoulder.
Joel says your name and you turn around.
"Good job today," he says softly. "Not too excitin' of a patrol, but you're good out there."
You blink owlishly. "I-- thanks," you manage. "Maybe we'll get to go out again as a pair." You're showing your hand but you can't help it. You want more of whatever this was.
Joel's mouth pulls up at one corner. "Maybe."
___
Two days later you drag yourself out of the house for community breakfast. Most mornings you're out the door and at your work detail for the day before you can pop over but you don't have anything assigned today. It's a rare respite and it has you antsy. You don't remember how to be idle, aren't any good at it. Sitting in your empty house means your mind might wander to the thoughts you try very hard to keep at bay. The loneliness, the regret, the fear. The loss. It's always there and you've gotten better at dealing with it after so many years but some days you really just wish you could talk about it to someone, could just bitch and moan about how fucking awful this life can be.
But everyone is carrying their own shit and you don't need to add to it. You don't want anyone to have to carry yours, too.
Breakfast is quiet this morning. You settle at a table with your toast and your eggs and your potatoes and smile back at anyone who smiles at you but no one sits with you. If they did you don't know what you'd say.
But then the air changes. Your neck feels a little hot and you slowly look around until you see what's caused it -- Joel and Ellie are here. He's already looking at you when you meet his eyes and he smiles a little, a half-moon curve of his mouth, and nods. You wave.
Ellie waves back, which you don't expect. She says something to Joel and he frowns, rolls his eyes. She punches him in the arm and he flips her off and grabs two plates, starts to fill them. You smile down at your own food.
"Man, are the potatoes that fucking good today?"
You look up and find Ellie in front of you. You're pretty sure she's 16 or thereabouts, still growing into herself based on the way she shifts on her feet. Her right forearm has the outline of something floral. She notices you looking at it and crosses her arms, looking unimpressed. Ah, teenagers.
"Pretty okay," you tell her. "I don't know if we've met yet --"
"We kinda have," she interrupts. "I know your name and you know mine, so. And you're at the library sometimes when I check shit out."
This still does not explain why she's over here talking to you. You can see Joel in the breakfast line still, glancing over his shoulder every so often to see if she's still in the room. You try not to catch his gaze because you're a little afraid of what Ellie might read in it.
"Can I do something for you, Ellie?" you ask, not unkindly. She scrunches up her nose and then sighs.
"Joel told me not to bother you but I wanted to ask if you could look out for a book for me. At the library." Her words get faster as she reaches the end of her sentence. She takes a look at you, sees that you're not telling her to fuck off, or something, and keeps talking. Some book about the history of comics or something.
"Oh," you say. You feel a rush of affection for her and the fact that she can hold the record for headshots on a group patrol and still want to read about something she loves in her free time. "Yeah, I'll look for you. I don't have a library shift until tomorrow but I'll look and put it aside if I find it for you."
Ellie tugs on her fingers. "Don't you need to write it down or something?"
You smile at her. "No, I'll remember." You recite the title and author she just told you back to her and it seems to satisfy her. It's like a switch is flipped -- her earnest expression morphs into something you can only call mischief.
"So Joel's coming over to fix your doors, or whatever," she says. "How'd you crack him?"
"I--what?"
"You patrol with him once and he's coming over to your house," she says. "It took him like, weeks to laugh at one of my jokes. And I'm fucking funny!"
You have no idea what to say to that. Patrol with Joel was your first time talking to him and while he's a bit intimidating, sure, he never came off as anything other than...good. But you'd bet he wasn't always that way in this world. Maybe this girl in front of you had something to do with it.
And honestly, you're sure he just feels a little bad for you. He's nice enough to worry, to make sure everyone in town can do their part and you'll take what you can get even if it's temporary attention.
Part of you knows Ellie is just giving you a hard time because she's a teenager and you're kind of connected to the guy who looks after her so you're fair game, too. But she's talking to you like she wants to which is throwing you for a loop. And you're realizing it's been a long time since you actually wanted someone to like you. Well, Joel aside.
"You want to tell me one?" you ask. She looks surprised and then delighted.
"Oh, fuck yeah. Okay, let me think." You take another bite of your breakfast. "Okay, okay, I got it. What did the mermaid wear to her math class?"
You give it a few seconds before you shrug. Ellie grins. "An algae-bra."
Your laugh makes her grin bigger. "See? Fucking hilarious." She holds out her hand for a high five and you oblige. "Anyway, Joel's gonna come over tomorrow, I think. Seriously, dude, I don't know how you did it. He never used to be this nice!" She looks over her shoulder at the man in question. He's sitting down at another table. "He's getting soft."
Her voice is fond and you're pretty sure she doesn't notice. "You should go eat your breakfast, Ellie," you tell her.
She sighs like the weight of the world is on her shoulders. "Yeah, I'm fucking hungry. Let me know if you find that book!"
"I will," you call after her. You can't help but watch as she barrels back to her table with Joel and immediately makes an attempt at his bacon. He fends her off with his fork before surrendering a piece with a scowl.
He looks up and catches your eye again. You stand with your tray and nod at him, turning around before you can see his expression. Stupid, so stupid to be caught looking like that. But you can't help it -- looking at the love still alive in this shitty world and wondering what it feels like.
___
You run into Joel on your walk home from the next day's shift at the library. You spent probably far too much of it looking for the book Ellie wanted but it was worth it because you've got it tucked under your arm. It feels like a small miracle but you're not one to question it.
Maybe it's the good mood you're in, but when you see Joel from behind you call out his name. He doesn't stop walking but turns his head like he heard something. When he spots you he does stop, waiting for you to catch up.
"Hi," you say, suddenly a little less brave.
"Howdy," he replies, amused. "I'm headed your way."
"You --" He lifts a toolbox you now realize he's carrying. "Oh, right. Hinges."
"I can come by another day if it's not a good time."
Joel could knock on your door in the middle of the night and it would be a good time. "No, ah. Now's good." He motions for you to lead the way even though he clearly knew where he was going. He must have asked Tommy.
It seems like everyone waves as you two head for your street. They call out Joel's name and he knows pretty much everyone. You feel a little self-conscious being seen with him like this -- you, pretty much a nobody in town through your own doing and Joel, beloved by all.
It doesn't stop until you're almost at your door. "You're popular," you say, trying to make it sound teasing. Instead, it sounds awed.
Joel runs his free hand through his beard. "Don't remind me," he grumbles. "Can't go for a walk without a damn conversation."
You pull out your keys and unlock the front door. There are plenty of people in Jackson who don't lock their doors but you can't shake the need. "Sounds difficult."
He chuckles and you feel it zing up your spine. It's nice to make him laugh. "Yeah, yeah. S'pose it's nice." The front door opens with a creak and you look at him sheepishly. His eyebrows touch his hairline. "They all like that?"
You nod. Joel whistles. "Christ," he says. "Alright." He follows you into the house. You try not to think about what he sees. You've tried to make it your own, just a little. Posters you traded for, books you've collected. You cleaned the whole thing top to bottom when you moved in but somehow it still looks a little un-lived in. You're working on it.
"Don't let me bother you," Joel says, getting on one knee with a grunt and prying open his box. "Probably need 'bout an hour to get 'em all. I'll holler when I'm done."
That's your cue to busy yourself with something, anything, but you don't want to. You want to talk to him, to watch him do whatever he's going to do, to soak up this time with Joel before he walks out the door and you go back to being acquaintances.
"What are you going to use?" you ask. He looks up, a little surprised, before pulling out a spray bottle and a rag. He shakes it at you.
"It's some sorta homemade shit one of the younger guys cooked up," Joel says. Somehow he manages to sound self-deprecating, like he thinks he should've thought of it first. "I think it's...soap? And cleanin' stuff? Fuck, I don't know." He huffs a laugh. "I know it works, though. Back in the day we'd use shit you could buy on the shelf." He stands with a grunt. "You old enough to know that?"
That gets you to laugh. "Yeah, Joel," you say. "I'm old enough to remember the hardware store."
His gaze feels a little different than before, like he's allowing himself to look. "Hmm," is all he says. "I'll just --"
You don't know how to justify shadowing him as he oils your hinges -- there's a joke there's somewhere -- so you don't. You grab a book from the shelf and settle on your couch and try your best to read but your mind wanders.
It's pretty clear that you have a crush on Joel. You've spent one patrol with the guy but somehow he's gotten under your skin. It's inconvenient but also...nice? A crush at the end of the world. The fact that you can still feel something so sweet, so juvenile after all you've seen and all you've done is almost laughable. And it's not like it's going to go anywhere -- you're sure Joel thinks you're too young for him, too green, and he's probably tripping over admirers in town. But you can let it be something to keep your days interesting until it fades.
It was hard enough to love yourself before the world ended for reasons anyone could understand. Societal pressures, stupid comparisons, things that don't matter at all now. Who has time to think about being loved when you're constantly faced with death? Feeling desired, feeling loved, feeling looked after isn't exactly top of mind. You're not even sure you remember how. You put one foot in front of the other and that's enough.
But wouldn't it be nice to be on the receiving end of affection from a man like Joel?
"All finished." You startle and realize you haven't turned a single page of your book. If Joel notices he doesn't say. He wipes his hands on a rag and eyes you. "Pretty sure I got all the doors."
You hop up from the couch and try to find your words. "I -- that's -- you're --"
"Thank you will do just fine," he says with a smirk. He tucks the rag in his back pocket and crosses his arms, leaning against the wall.
"Let me cook for you," you blurt out instead. "In exchange." You can make a few things fairly decently and making him something is another excuse to talk to him like this, to be on the receiving end of those eyes. "I can make chili. Does Ellie like chili?"
"Don't have to do that," he says kindly. "Helpin' you ain't a business deal. S'what people do here." He stands straight and heads for your front door, picking up his toolbox on the way.
"Joel," you say, snagging his sleeve with your fingers. You pull them back quickly and grab the book you brought home, holding it out for him. "Ellie asked me to look for this. Could you give it to her?"
He looks at the book the same way he looks at his kid. It's tenderness so raw you look away. "I will," he says softly. He tucks the book under his arm like precious cargo. "Thank you for findin' it for her." He clears his throat and looks at you, smirk back in place. "Wasn't so bad, was it?" he asks. You don't follow. "Havin' someone help you," he adds.
Your face feels hot. "I'll still cook for you," you say, opening the door. He shakes his head.
"You let me know if you need anythin' else, alright?" A quick smile and he's down the steps and back into the street, strolling back to his own home.
"I will." You say it to yourself and almost mean it.
___
You patrol a few more times over the next month but never get paired up with Joel. If you were a little braver you'd ask Tommy or the kid he's training to take over the schedule to put you two together but you don't. Instead, you wave at Ellie when you see her, nod at Joel from the other side of rooms where he's always talking to someone else. You let yourself enjoy the way your heart picks up at the sight of him and the thrill you feel after he smiles at you. It's a nice change to the boring, lonely routine you had before.
The doors in your house open and close silently.
Being outside is fine. You don't like it any more or any less, it just is what it is. Life at the end of the world continues on.
Until you have a bad patrol.
It's no one's fault and no one gets bit. You and your partner, Astrid, are tailing a buck that's wandering along your route. If you can shoot it you can load it on one of your horses and ride back together on the other. Winter is on its way and any extra meat helps.
You follow protocol. You're lining the deer up through the scope while she keeps watch. Just as you prepare to pull the trigger you feel it -- the pull of your gut telling you something isn't right. That feeling has kept you alive all these years so you lower the rifle and turn to Astrid just in time to see a stalker lunge out of the brush.
Its broken and jagged nails catch your shoulders and you go down hard enough to bruise. You can't hear anything over its snarls and the blood pounding in your ears but you do your fucking best. You wedge your forearm under its chin and try like hell to keep its mouth away from you. Your other hand somehow makes it to your belt and unsheathes your hunting knife and in one swift movement, you shove it into the soft jaw of the infected. Hot blood spurts over your face and you keep your mouth closed, shoving the corpse off you.
A gunshot has you whirling around and scooping up the rifle. You've got it ready to fire but you only find Astrid standing over a stalker corpse of her own, forehead bleeding and revolver smoking.
"You clean?" you ask her, eyes on her forehead. She nods.
"Shoved me into some thorns. You?"
"Yeah. Can we go home now?"
Your hands don't shake until you get back to Jackson. They tremble when you wash the blood from your face, your hair. You wish for just a second that you had someone to hold them, someone to tell you it's alright. Someone to talk to about how shitty your day was and how scared you were and how sometimes this life is so fucking exhausting and just when you think you're safe you're reminded that no one is safe anymore.
Maybe this is the kind of thing Joel was talking about. Asking for help.
The thought fades quickly. You can deal with this. You're just out of practice. You just got comfortable.
You go to bed as early as you can bear, closing your eyes and hoping for dreamless sleep.
You could only be so lucky.
You're no stranger to nightmares. Hell, who isn't? Usually, it's the same old shit -- people you've lost, fucked up things you've done, horrors you've seen. You know how to deal with it.
But this is the first time in a while you've got new nightmare fuel. The hot, rancid breath of the stalker and the agonizing sound of its moans. Your own choked gasps as you try with all of your strength to keep its rotting teeth away from you. Unlike reality, your dreams don't allow you to grab a hold of your knife and instead, you feel it take a chunk out of your neck, hot blood splattering your face and you have to just lie there as it bites and bites and bites --
You jolt upright with a small gasp. Necessity has taught you to wake silently.
"Fuck," you say to the empty room. No way you're going back to sleep after that. You swing your legs over the side of your bed and put your head in your hands. "Breathe. Breathe."
The sky is black through your windows. You have no idea what time it is but you stand before the lingering panic can take hold and make things worse. Fresh air will get the iron smell out of your nose. You dress in the dark in more layers than necessary but you want to stop shaking.
Jackson at night is quiet but there are always a few people around, always someone else who can't sleep. The sky is clear and the moon is bright and it smells like woodsmoke and the unique earthy feel of the valley. This is your home. So long as you have this you can get through it.
Your feet take you through the streets of houses, most of the windows dark. Just another lap around town and then you'll go home, try to sleep again.
Then you hear something. The gentle strum of an acoustic guitar weaving with the night air like a dream. A song from before, a song you recognize but don't know the name of, don't know the words. You wrap your arms around yourself and follow the sound down Rancher Street. If you find whoever is playing it you'll wave and walk slowly home.
Your breath catches in your throat when you see whose house it is. Joel is on the porch, rocking slowly and head leaning back, eyes closed as he strums. How did you not know he played guitar? It only makes sense that the hands that are capable of such violence can also make something beautiful. He can ruffle Ellie's hair and pull the trigger and fix your doors and do this.
Something in your chest tightens.
Joel's eyes open and land on you immediately. You realize how it looks -- you standing in front of his house in the middle of the night, watching him. But he stops his playing and calls out your name.
"Hey, you alright?" he says. You hover between taking a step forward and a step back.
"Couldn't sleep."
He shakes his head. "Can't hear ya," he says. "C'mere."
Step forward it is. Up the stairs and onto the porch that creaks a little under your boots. There's only one chair and a small table with a lantern on it. Wind chimes dangle over the railing and you drag your hand through them on instinct like a child with a toy.
"Sorry," you say softly.
"Only got one chair," Joel says. He's got one boot resting on his knee, guitar slung across his lap. He looks tired. "I'll go get another --"
You wave him off. "No, please," you say. "I'll stand. I'm too antsy to sit, anyway." If you sit down in a chair next to Joel Miller you might never get up.
He frowns but settles back into his seat. "You alright?" he asks again.
His gaze is a little too much. You feel silly all of a sudden, not sure how you got here. A fucking nightmare? God, you're ridiculous. You cross your arms and lean back on the railing and look anywhere but him.
"Couldn't sleep." Joel hums.
"Heard that one before."
He strums some more and you relax again despite yourself. "Sounds nice. Do you play a lot?"
"Sometimes," he says. "Old habit."
"It's a nice one. Better than walking the streets in the dark." Your tone is harsher than you mean it to be and Joel frowns.
"It's safe to," he says, as though your wellbeing is his personal concern. "Bit cold, though."
"Why are you out here then?" You're frustrated with yourself and taking it out on him just a little bit. The smell of blood fills your nostrils again and you press your fingertips into your crossed arms, hard, and close your eyes. Your breath stutters in your chest.
"Nightmares," Joel says wryly. There's some shifting, the scrape of wood on wood and you open your eyes. His are fixated on your fingers and you stop squeezing. The guitar is now leaning up against the house and he's got his elbows on his knees like he's about to ask you a serious question. The lantern light makes his hair look darker, less silver, but it also makes the lines on his face look deeper. You wonder what kind of shit he's seen. What things he has nightmares about.
"Had this conversation with Ellie a million times," he huffs, rubs his hand through his beard in what you now consider a familiar gesture. "You don't need to talk if you don't want to. But can't hurt."
Is he asking you to talk about your nightmare? Does he actually want to know? Do you know how to talk about it?
"I take it you're a fountain of emotional sharing, huh?" Again, the misplaced frustration. You don't know how to turn it off.
His eyes flash but he just leans back in his chair and shrugs. "Depends on the day."
The low-level hum of your infatuation with him flares and your traitorous brain bats it down right away. You want to see all sides that he can offer you, want to make him frustrated and angry just to see if that'll make him sick of you.
You run your hand through the wind chimes again, watching your fingers move through the air. You remember what the knife felt like in your hand, the way the blood was hot as it dripped down your wrist and onto your face.
"Tough patrol," you say. "Messiest since I got here." Joel says nothing and you don't look at him. "I...it was fine. We got jumped by some stalkers and it was fine but...close. And I -- I didn't realize how badly I wanted to come back here until then. How badly I wanted to go home at the end of it. Does that make sense?"
You finally look up and Joel's knuckles are white on the arms of his chair. When he sees you looking he crosses his arms. "Sure," he says, clears his throat.
The urge to try to explain more is overwhelming. "I mean, we've all done fucked up shit. I've been up to my elbows in infected guts and still come out on top and slept like a rock the night after. And all of a sudden I can't fucking handle a stalker getting in my face. It's like I've never had to get my hands dirty before and what if it means I'm going to fuck up next time --"
"Hey," Joel says firmly. You feel a hand on your forearm and realize you've been pacing, arms flailing as you rambled. He gives it a squeeze and then releases you. "Feel like I gotta say fuck now to catch up with you."
A wet chuckle works its way out of you. Where did that come from? Are you about to cry? On the porch of the man you have a stupid, stupid crush on? This is embarrassing. And his touch. People touch you all the time, all things considered. A tap on patrol indicating silence, a hand on your arm to get your attention, to brace you as you lift something. Children in town who don't know the horrors outside the walls give affection freely. Hell, Joel touched your shoulder after your patrol. You're not touch starved but you feel like no one has touched you with tenderness and meant it in years.
"Sorry."
Joel tuts. "C'mon," he says. "I asked."
"I don't think I feel any better."
He stands and grunts as he does so. He's so much closer than before, so close you can smell what you can only describe as Joel: wood shavings and gunpowder, laundry soap and leather. It's a little dizzying. He leans on the railing next to you.
"Bet when you go back to bed you won't dream," he says. "Usually what happens."
"Here you are again," you sigh. "Helping me out. I promise I get on just fine on my own."
"I know," he says. His eyes are warm and so, so deep. "Don't have to, though."
Joel, for all his kindness and popularity in town, is a man just like any other. A person who has seen and done shit that no one should have to see and do. You know he's got his fair share of secrets, of things he won't talk about. You all do. You know he can be unflinching and maybe even cruel, dangerous and deadly. Whatever is happening here -- this openness, this desire of his to help you out -- is hard won. You think about what Ellie said and let yourself have a dangerous thought: maybe he's this way with you because he wants to be.
You sway into him just a little before catching yourself and standing up straight. "I should go try that dreamless sleep," you say softly. "And you should, too." It does not escape your notice that you haven't talked about Joel's nightmares, whatever they are. You don't think he'd be that open. A piece of you imagines a world where you ask and he answers.
"I might," he says. Neither of you move.
That small piece of you would stay here all night. That small piece of you tries for the next best thing.
"Will you let me cook for you now?" you ask. It sounds a little desperate to your own ears. "Please?"
"Persistent, ain't you?" He taps his closed fist on the railing once, twice. "Well, if it's that important to you. Chili, you said?"
"I can have it done by sundown tomorrow. I'm on greenhouses but we always finish early. You can come by and get it. I'll do enough for you and Ellie for a few days." You're rambling but finally he's going to let you do something for him. Hinges, nightmares, it's too much. Maybe you can somehow cook out this affection for him, get rid of it with your own hands if you try hard enough.
"Alright," Joel says. He puts his hand on your shoulder lightly and squeezes once. You feel it all the way down to your toes. "Now get outta this damn cold."
He doesn't offer to walk you home. You'd say no if he did. You need the time to sort out the mess in your mind. You give him the most earnest smile you can manage and he watches from his porch until you turn out of sight.
__
Joel is on your mind all day. More so than usual, which is saying a lot. The crush has turned into something...more. Something that makes you hope and that something is dangerous. It's just setting yourself up to be hurt through no fault of Joel's when it goes nowhere. Because why would he be thinking about you?
"You're smiley today," Dina says. She's a sweet girl and you're paired together on greenhouse shift today. She's always got a story to tell about plants she and her sister saw in New Mexico or some weird mushroom she found on group patrol. You love how positive she is and you try to absorb some.
"Am I?" you say lightly.
She tugs on one more cucumber, putting it in your shared basket before wiping her face. She gets dirt on her nose. It makes her look young. "Got big plans?"
Your face feels hot. "Just cooking for a...friend." It's the first time you've said that out loud. It's probably true, right? Acquaintance, at least. Joel is important to you and it's taken an alarmingly short amount of time for it to solidify. That's just how the world works these days -- you never know how much time you have so everything moves faster. You care harder despite years of proof that nothing good comes of it. You can't help it. You were made to leak love like an open wound.
"A friend," Dina teases. Teenagers. You remember that she's friends with Ellie and it's very possible she knows exactly what you're talking about but she's too kind to say anything more.
"Yep," you say, popping the p. "Do I have to start teasing you about Jesse or are you going to cut me some slack?"
"Well, hey," she laughs. "I think it's nice to be excited about something. You're so serious all the time."
"Am not," you mutter.
Something you appreciate about Dina is that despite her age she knows when to leave it. "Whatever you say," she says primly.
Once work is over and you're back home the cooking goes quick. You focus just enough considering you want this to actually be good and for Joel and Ellie to like it. It's thank you chili, it's you are important to me chili, it's I want to see you every day for the rest of my life chili.
Well. It's thank you at the very least.
And food, especially in this world, means something extra. There's enough to go around in Jackson, more than enough, but anyone taking the time to fix something with their own hands means more. You know how different a meal can taste when someone makes it with care.
And to say you care is a bit of an understatement.
The chili is simmering and you're about to start on the dishes when there's a knock on the door.
"Shit," you say. You wipe your hands on a towel and pad down the hall in socked feet. When you open it you find Joel bathed in the golden light of the sunset. His hands are tucked in his pockets, the collar of his coat turned up to protect his neck from the chill that's settled in for the season. His face softens at the sight of you but his shoulders are still tight. Is he...nervous? No, you're projecting.
Here he is on your doorstep again. If you're not careful you'll get used to him being there.
"Sorry for bein' a bit early," he says at the same time you say, "I was just thinking about you ."
The tension melts out of him and he smirks like a man with a secret. "That so?"
Your eyes are wide as you find your words. Hopefully ones that aren't embarrassing. "Come in," you say. "I'm letting the heat out."
He follows you to the kitchen. "Smells good," he says.
"It's not quite done yet but that's a good sign, I guess." You stir the pot before rolling up your sleeves and taking your spot in front of the sink. "Sorry it's a bit of a mess, I was about to start on this --"
"Now I know you ain't about to do all that yourself," Joel drawls. It's a syrupy tone you haven't heard from him, not really. Is he...flirting with you?
"I...what?"
"Scoot," Joel says. He steps beside you in front of the sink and gently bumps your hip with his. "Seriously."
"Joel--"
"Does it look like I'm kiddin'?"
He keeps his eyes on yours as he shrugs off his jacket, tosses it on this island, and rolls his shirtsleeves up to his elbow. You look away from him so you can watch.
"This is getting ridiculous," you tell him even as you hop up to sit on the counter closest to the sink so you can see his face. He turns on the tap and starts on the various things in the sink even though some of them are clearly not from cooking tonight. "You'll be sick of this chili before I can pay you back."
"I told you it ain't like that," he scolds. "So quit it."
There's no real bite to his tone but you do as he says all the same. You kick your feet out a few times and do your best not to stare but fail miserably. The fall sunlight seems to have followed him into your house, pinkish-golden beams falling across his face. You can see a triangle of chest at the top of his shirt, a few dark curls teasing the hair on him. The scar on the bridge of his nose is much harsher up close, much deeper than the countless other ones that dot his forehead, his temples. He doesn't look as tired today. Maybe he got some sleep after all.
So did you. You didn't dream.
"How was your day?" you ask. Joel's eyes flick up to yours for just a breath before he looks back down at his task. His mouth pulls up at the corner.
"Fine," he says. "Had to fix the water heater at Ellie's place."
A piece of hair falls in his face and you shove your palms under your thighs so you don't brush it back.
You tap his denim-clad thigh with your socked foot, almost like a compromise with yourself when it comes to touching him. "And that took all day?" Damn, are you the one flirting now?
Joel seems amused in a grumpy way. "Well, no," he says. The faucet is on so he speaks a little louder. "Did some house chores. Worked on a guitar. Took a nap."
The image of Joel sprawled out on a couch is clear as day. You bet he looks relaxed in his sleep, the lines on his face not as pronounced, his breathing steady and even.
"Busy day," you say softly. He's about to say more, lips parted to ask about your day, maybe, but you're not about to admit that you spent all day thinking about him so you keep talking before he can. "Does Ellie like living in the garage?"
"Think so," he says. "She spends a night in the house every so often but I think she likes havin' her own space. S'important to me to give her that."
This is uncharted territory. You desperately don't want to step in shit, to somehow make him bring his walls back up. Everyone is protective of the things they love in this world and for good reason and you're pretty sure there is nothing and no one Joel loves more than Ellie.
"She's a good kid," you offer. "Everyone in town loves her."
Joel smiles down at his hands, that soft, raw smile you've seen a few times when talking about her. It makes your chest ache. "She is," he admits. "Pain in my ass, too."
You want so badly to ask him the details. How did they meet? How did they get here? How did they become so devoted to one another? And what happened in the last twenty years to get him to right now, washing dishes in your kitchen?
But you haven't earned that stuff yet. Maybe you never will.
"Does she like Jackson?" You remember what he said about them settling in, sleeping in the living room with their shoes on. You imagine he kept watch for weeks, maybe months, before deciding it was safe.
He nods. "S'good for her to have friends. And havin' school is good for her. She's real smart." He clears his throat. "And you? D'you like it?"
"Well, I like it much better now that my hinges don't squeak."
Joel laughs. "I'll bet you do." He's almost done, everything from your chili-making washed and set aside to dry. He's doing your dishes from breakfast but shows no signs of stopping."Do you cook like this a lot?
Your brows furrow. "I-- no, actually," you admit. "It's just me, so. Not worth putting in the effort that often."
He turns off the tap and grabs a towel and starts to dry. You should offer to help but you feel frozen to the counter. If you get any closer to him you might snap. His jaw is tight.
"When Ellie and I --" he stops, takes a moment to focus on the bowl in his hands. Joel, you've noticed, doesn't tend to say things he doesn't mean, at least not to you. It's like he knows that every word counts in a life as unpredictable as this. "We had a bit of a rough patch last year and we didn't talk for a while. I was damn near eatin' canned veggies on days Tommy didn't drag me to the community meals." He sighs and sets the bowl on the counter ever so gently. Violence and tenderness go hand in hand with him. "Just didn't have it in myself to try cookin' if she wasn't there to eat it."
It's the most vulnerable thing he's said. He keeps doing this -- offering you pieces of himself that you want to hold close, that make you think maybe he wants you to know him.
"Joel--"
"I guess what I'm sayin' is it's easier to take care of yourself when you're also takin' care of people who matter to you. That make sense?"
"Yeah," you breathe. "It does."
The whole scene is so...domestic that your chest aches. Joel in your kitchen doing your dishes. He's helping you yet again but this feels different. It feels like he wants to be here, talking to you. It feels real.
He finishes his task and dries his hands on a faded towel. You hop down from the counter to check the chili. "Should be done," you say. "Do you want to try it? Make sure it's worth it?"
"Oh, it's worth it," he mutters. You work to keep your face neutral. What does that mean? "Sure."
You pull a spoon from the drawer and while it would make more sense to just hand it to him you don't. Instead, you dip it into the steaming liquid and hold it out for him, your other hand cupped underneath to catch any spill. Joel stares at your offering for a few seconds and you wonder if he can hear your heart beating.
Then Joel reaches out slowly like he's afraid you'll bolt if he goes too fast, and lightly wraps his hand around your wrist. It's the first time he's touched you skin to skin and you know immediately that it's a mistake.
You'll never stop wanting him now.
His palm is warm, callused fingertips pressing gently into your skin and he tugs, bringing the spoon -- and you -- closer to his mouth. Everything moves in slow motion for a few moments and it's like you are the only two people in the world. Your kitchen fades and it's just Joel. His lips part and he slides the spoon into his mouth at the same time as his thumb strokes the inside skin of your wrist.
It's very possible that you gasp a little.
He closes his eyes and you're torn between watching his face and his throat as he swallows. You could look at him forever, you think, and never get enough. The set of his brow, the hard line of his jaw. Lines around his eyes and mouth from years of terror and violence but also from laughter and smiles. You want to learn every inch of him if he'll let you.
"Christ," Joel says. His eyes fly open and find yours. "That's good. That's real good."
"You're just saying that," you say weakly. He hasn't let go of your wrist and his thumb strokes once again. You wonder if you realize he's doing it.
Something in his face changes, something so small that you only notice because you're watching. It feels like he has decided something and you wish you knew him well enough to say what. You dare to hope it has to do with you.
"Oh, sweetheart, I'm a good liar but I ain't just sayin' that."
Sweetheart. It echoes in your ears, burrows its way into your chest and takes root.
You're so fucked.
But there's something in Joel's gaze, in the brush of his thumb across your skin, in the fact he's just done all of your dishes and talked to you like he wants to be here that gives your traitorous heart some ground to stand on.
You send him home with as many glass containers of chili as he'll take. He argues that you won't have enough for yourself and manages to convince you to keep a few. You don't tell him that what you really want is to sit next to him at a table and eat it, knees bumping under the wood and his smile making your empty house feel warm.
"Tell Ellie I say hi," you say once he's out your door and on the porch. "And let me know if she likes it."
"Will do," Joel says. You hug your arms around yourself against the chill. He frowns slightly.
You wonder if he'd touch you if his hands weren't full.
"And thank you for--"
He shakes his head. "Not acceptin' thanks," he chides. "Not from you."
You don't know what to say to that. Joel seems to realize he's rendered you speechless, not for the first time, and nods his head before heading home.
"See you around, Joel," you call after him. It sounds half like a question and half like a wish.
He turns. "Countin' on it."
___
You do see him around but not as much as you'd like. Things pick up around town before the seasons can change and send Wyoming into winter. You find yourself in the kitchen most days helping seal jars for the community food stores, hands chapped from the hot water and heart light when you think about Joel. He nods at you from across the dining hall, opens the door of the library when you're going in and he's coming out, and tells Ellie to tell you how good the chili was when you share a shift at the stables.
"Fucking amazing," she says.
You sleep fairly well, going to bed each night with a little bit of lightness in your heart that you allow because why not? There's no way out short of Joel telling you to fuck off and you don't think that'll happen. If only you could get over yourself a little more and actually do something about it.
As much as you want to keep telling yourself that this -- glances across rooms, smiles from a distance, memories of his hand on your skin -- is enough, you're not sure that it is. The force of your want is destabilizing considering the most that's happened is maybe a little bit of flirting. But maybe this is you taking his direction to ask for...no help, not exactly, but to ask for something. To ask for him.
Today you're going on patrol. You decide as you mount your horse that you're going to ask Joel if he wants to get a drink when you get back. You want to talk to him again, let him under your skin a little more. Maybe tell him some things about yourself. Sometimes he's milling around the gate or on wall duty but you don't see him as you and your partner -- a fairly new kid in his twenties -- take your rifles and head out. You're on an easy route today, just clearing out the town over the hill and the highway exits near Jackson. Shouldn't take you more than a few hours.
It goes to shit fairly quickly.
The kid -- Conner? Charlie? You can't remember -- is rambling about the infected he's killed for some reason when you realize something isn't quite right. You can't hear any birds. Apollo snorts and it sounds panicked. You motion for the kid to stop talking but he either ignores you or doesn't see.
He sure shuts up when the clicker bursts out of a house to your left. Apollo startles and rears at the moment you reach for your gun and you can't grab hold in time.
You go flying, bouncing off a rusted-out car and landing hard on the broken pavement of the street with a popping sound. There is a pain in your shoulder so intense your vision whites out. The kid is shouting, the clicker is making that awful sound, but then you hear two gunshots and nothing else.
"Holy fuck," he says, rushing over to you. "Fuck, are you okay?"
Well, for a talker, this kid a good shot.
"Get the -- horse --" You roll onto your back with a groan and he grabs Apollo and settles him.
"What happened?"
You stare up at the sky, blue turning purple. It'll be sunset soon and you very well might be fucked if this is what you think it is.
"I think my shoulder popped out," you say through gritted teeth. Your head doesn't hurt like you smacked it and your side is only a little sore. Maybe some bruised ribs. Your hands are scraped, blood beading on the heels of your palms. "Help me up."
"Holy shit." He helps you sit up and then stand, your left arm hanging limp at your side. You hiss through your teeth as it gets jostled and lean heavily on the car. "You don't look so good," he says. "Can you ride? We should only be a half hour out of town."
"I...don't think so." You're pretty sure you'll pass out from the pain and this kid doesn't look like he can handle that. You don't want to fuck up the joint any more than you have to. "You're going to have to go back and bring someone to set it for me, okay?"
"But the rules say --"
"I know what the fucking rules say," you snap. Don't let your partner out of your sight. Your shoulder is throbbing and you might cry but not until this kid is on his way back to town. "That's why you're going to go as fast as you can, alright?"
"We should at least clear a building first so you can --"
"No time," you say, looking at the sky. "If we want to be back before nightfall you need to go now. I'll handle myself."
You really should know his name. He sets his jaw in a move that reminds you of Joel which causes a pang in your chest so intense you want to rub it away. "I'll clear that garage, okay?" He points behind you and before you can stop him he runs towards it with his gun out.
Lucky for both of you it's clear. You take Apollo inside and slump against the wall, pistol in your hand. The kid closes the garage door behind him and you hear the clop of his horse as he gallops away.
"Fuck," you say into the empty room. It's dusty and full of cobwebs and not much else. Empty metal shelves, a rusted-out lawn mower, some tarps so ratted they're useless. Apollo snorts. "Not your fault, buddy."
Death has been nipping at your heels for twenty years now. You've always expected it. And you're fairly certain you won't die out here. Maybe end up spending a night on this floor, having to walk yourself back to Jackson tomorrow morning. But you can't help the fear that rises in your throat. You know how an injury like this means so much more in this world. You won't be able to work for weeks. You won't be able to patrol, to pull your weight.
You're going to need a lot of help.
You close your eyes against the stinging tears and thud your head against the wall.
The pain dulls the embarrassment you feel when you catch yourself thinking of Joel. You wish he was here. If you'd been on patrol together this wouldn't have happened. You wonder what he's going to think of this.
What you'd really like is for him to hold you and tell you it'll be alright.
A few tears slip down your nose. Apollo noses at your knee.
There are no windows so you don't know how much time has passed. You start to question if this was the right call. Maybe you could have made it back on horseback, or at the very least slung across the back of Apollo like a sack of flour, arm be damned.
Your traitorous brain is about to remind you of all the things that go bump in the night out here when you hear something. 
Someone is calling your name. Yelling it.
"Here!" you scream. Apollo whinnies. "I'm here!" You have no idea if they can hear you. You press your good shoulder into the wall behind you and try to push yourself to your feet but just as you do the garage door is hauled open and there stands --
Joel.
A sob bursts from your throat and you will yourself to pull it together. Behind him the sky is much more orange than it was when you first sat down.
Joel's eyes look you up and down once before cataloging the space and locking on some milk crates. He stacks two of them.
"Sit," he says. His voice is tight.
"Joel --"
"Sit."
You do as he says. He kneels at your feet and rummages around in his bag. His horse stands munching on some overgrown grass on the driveway. Did he come alone?
"How are you here --"
Joel cuts you off with a glare. His eyes are blazing, jaw grinding as he holds out a length of bandage.
"Hold this." He stands and his knees crack. "Kid said it's your shoulder. Anything else?"
The throb is still deep, still intense, but his arrival almost made you forget all about it. You shake your head.
"Didn't hit your head? Crack ribs? Nothin' like that?"
"No, I don't think so --"
"Need you to sit up straight," he says. There's no warmth in his tone but it's a little softer now that he's taken stock of the situation. "I ain't gonna lie to you, this is going to hurt like hell." He digs in his pocket for something and pulls out a square of leather. "Need you to bite down on this."
He squats so that you're just about face to face and holds out the leather. It feels like being in your kitchen, you holding out the spoon and fighting your desire to touch him. Except this time he won't look you in the eye. You open your mouth and he gently places it between your teeth, thumb catching the corner of your lips and trailing along the edge of your chin before he pulls away and stands up.
"I'm going to reset it on three, alright? Bite down hard on that." He finally meets your gaze and you nod and close your eyes. He puts one hand on your shoulder and the other on your wrist and you wince even though you feel incredibly safe in his hands. "Alright. One...two --"
Joel jerks your arm up and around before he hits three and you barely hear it pop back into place because, as he said, it hurts like hell. You bite down hard on the leather which also serves to muffle your scream.
Someone is talking to you."I know, baby, I know. Good job, you did a good job."
You open your eyes and wipe away a few tears with one hand and pull the leather from your teeth. Joel looks pained but his face snaps back to neutral when he sees you watching. His eyes narrow.
"Where did that come from?" He gently grabs your wrist and looks at your palm and you both find it bloody. "Got it on your face."
"Scraped my hands when I fell," you say hoarsely. He clicks his tongue.
"Give me that bandage." You don't even get a chance to hand it to him because he plucks it from your lap. "Gonna make this into a sling for this arm. Try not to move it much. Then we'll clean those hands and head home. Get you to the clinic for some meds." He gently positions your arm, which hurts a lot less than before but is still throbbing, and ties a sling so it's bent close to your chest. You can feel his breath on your neck as he does the knot.
And then he's back crouching in front of you.
Joel Miller on his knees for you so many times in one day makes you a little dizzy. Or maybe that's the adrenaline.
"Are you angry with me?" you ask softly as he wipes clean your palms and cheek with firm touches. The muscle in his jaw twitches again and his hands freeze for a split second.
"No," he says. "I ain't mad at you. I just can't believe the fuckin' kid left you here."
"I told him to."
"Can't believe that either. You know better."
"It's fine, Joel," you say. "It doesn't matter. I would have just walked back in the morning if no one came --"
He pulls his hands away and tosses the rag to the floor. "Damnit, it does matter," he curses. "'Course it fuckin' matters. Cut that shit out."
Now you're confused. It sure seems like he's angry with you. "Joel, I don't understand --"
His hands cradle your face and the protest dies in your throat. "You matter to me," he says thickly. His eyes are wide but his stare is steady. "Ain't it fuckin' obvious?" Anger and desperation are dripping from his words. "It matters."
For one long second you think he's going to kiss you. Now that might kill you.
You wrap one hand around his wrist and lean into his palm. A thousand thoughts swirl in your head but you focus on one. Joel is here which means you're safe. Joel is here which means he's going to take care of you. Joel is here. Joel is here. Joel is here.
"Oh," you breathe. You turn your face in his palm and press your lips to the center of it. His breath hitches and it feels like something big between you shifts, slots into place. "Okay," you say against his skin.
He pulls his hands away and stands. He works his jaw a few times before shouldering his pack and holding out his hand. "Let's go home," he says.
You stand with his help. "I think you'll need to help me get on my horse."
"Not a fuckin' chance," he growls but you can still see tenderness in his eyes. "Can't hold on well enough with one arm. We're ridin' together."
This Joel is one you haven't seen. But this is what you wanted, right? You want to see every part of him. Something molten and heavy sits in your stomach at how tense he is, how his hands remain gentle despite his harsh words. How he just told you that you matter to him. Maybe this is all a dream.
He helps you on his horse and then gets on behind you, tying Apollo's reigns to his so you won't lose him. He wraps one arm right around your stomach, mindful of your arm.
"Ain't gonna be comfortable," he says in your ear. "But it'll be over quick."
You lean back into him. Hell, it's all on the table now. If your arm is going to hurt you might as well enjoy your time pressed against him.
"Oh, I don't know," you say. "This isn't so bad." He snorts and snaps the reigns.
He talks low and steady in your ears as you gallop, his palm firm on your abdomen to keep you as still as possible though it's a hopeless venture. Your shoulder aches, sends sharp tendrils of pain through your entire arm with every stride.
He tells you that he was on the wall when your partner came back alone. That he knew something was wrong with you as soon as the kid came into view. He'd seen the patrol assignments and knew you were paired together. Kid didn't know what flag to use to signal his approach because you're not supposed to leave behind your partner.
Joel tells you how he hopped down from the wall and asked the kid where exactly he left you. Demanded to know how hurt you were, if you'd been bit. He was on a horse before anyone else could get their shit together, told them to get Tommy and have the clinic ready for you. Started hollering your name as soon as he got to the street, rifle ready for any infected to show up.
"Damn miracle when you yelled back," he says just as Jackson comes into view. You're sweating and dizzy from the pain, practically all of your weight slumped back into his chest. "Almost there, sweetheart. Doin' real good."
The rest of it is a blur. Joel takes you to the clinic where he becomes increasingly agitated that he set your shoulder wrong until one of the staff says he did it just fine. They give you a real sling and one painkiller to take if you hurt really bad, despite some harsh words from Joel in an attempt to get you more.
"Don't move it above your head for two weeks. Keep the sling on for that time, too. Ice it today, start moving it back and forth a few times in a few days. You got someone to help you for a bit?"
Before you can open her mouth Joel answer for you.
"Yes." The nurse hides her amusement well. She lets you go. Joel keeps his hand on your back as he walks you to your house.
You stop him when you get to your front door. "Joel --"
"If you're about to argue with me, so help me God, I'll --"
"I was going to ask if you need to go check on Ellie." You pull out your keys and after a second hold them out for him. Maybe letting Joel help you is helping him, too. You can handle that. You think.
"Told Tommy to when I left. I'll go home once we get you settled."
We.
"Okay," you say softly. He unlocks the door and motions for you to go in. You sit gingerly on the couch and Joel brings you a glass of water.
And then he paces. He looks at the books on your shelf without seeing them and rubs his thumb against his first two fingers over and over. And all of a sudden he won't look at you.
"Joel, sit down or something," you grumble. "You're making me nervous."
He stops. "Fine." His tone has a bit of bite to it that makes you close your eyes. There's an armchair in the room but he sits next to you instead. He presses his knee to yours, almost in apology.
The adrenaline has faded by now and all you feel is the ache of your shoulder and ribs and rawness of your palms and heart. The shoulder hurts like hell but in a way all of this hurts deeper, harder than that. In the way you know love, or the beginning of it, can hurt.
You sniffle.
Truth is you're overwhelmed. By what happened, by Joel coming to get you and saying all that shit. By him touching you, by him being here, by your own heart beating so quickly at his nearness. Even though you dared hope he felt something close to your affection for him it's a shock to realize he cares about you because you're you, not just because he's a good man. You've always wanted love that came from a place of purpose, which feels selfish on the best of days. You should just accept whatever kindness comes your way in this cruel world.
But, fuck, you've always wanted to feel chosen. Like you matter.
And you do. Right here, you do. From his own lips he's said you do.
You don't even realize you're crying until Joel curses softly and one wide, warm palm is on your face again.
"What's wrong? You hurtin'?" His thumb swipes at your tears. "Talk to me."
"I'm fine." You press your face into his shoulder and he holds you, hand soft on the back of your head. "I'm just -- I'm just really glad you're here, Joel."
"Course I'm here," he says into your hair. "C'mere."
There's nowhere for you to go considering you're already pressed against him. But his arms come around you fully, mindful of your shoulder, and your fingers fist in his shirt.
You should be embarrassed. On the scale of fucked up shit that's happened to you, today is remarkably low. But you let yourself have this. You breathe him in and let him hold you.
"I was going to ask you to get a drink tonight," you mumble. His chest vibrates with laughter.
"That so?" he says. His hand rubs up and down your spine. "Reckon I'd say yes."
You pull back just enough to see his face. This close you can see how his eyes have a bit of gold in them. "Really?" Even with proof of his affection right in front of you it's a little hard to believe.
"Am I readin' this wrong?" he asks. "It's okay if I am--"
"No," you say quickly. "No, you're not."
"Thought so." His lips pull up at the corner just a bit. "But, still. You've had a real rough day, and --"
"Joel," you breathe. You free your good arm from your embrace and put your hand on his jaw. He's touched you plenty today and you want to give it a try yourself. His face is warm, his beard gently rubbing against your skin. His eyes flutter close for a breath before he opens them wide and leans into your hand just a little.
"Alright," he says softly. Then he says your name, just once, ever so tenderly. It sounds like a prayer.
Joel Miller kisses you in the middle of your living room. Despite the affection you've been nursing for him over the last little while you never allowed yourself to imagine what it would be like to kiss him.
It's like this: the first press of his lips is soft like he thinks you'll pull away. When you don't he takes your lower lip between his and presses a little harder. Your hand slides into his hair and he palms your hip with one of his and cups your face with the other. His tongue traces the seam of your lips and you open for him, let him lick into your mouth. You sigh into it and tug on his hair just a little. Joel makes a sound deep in his throat and then pulls away.
You're both breathing heavier than before, both smiling. Joel presses his lips to your forehead, your temple. He holds you against him and you breathe against the skin of his neck.
"Will you let me take care of you?" he says into your hair.
"For my sake or yours?"
You think he'll laugh but he just breathes. "Both," he says. "Hell, you know what's goin' on here. I showed my hand. Been showin' it." He pulls away so you can see the honesty in his face. "I told you in as many damn words as I know how."
He did. He did and you make yourself believe it. Love in this life is worth holding on with both hands. Whatever this is, whatever this is going to become, you want it. You want to let this man continue to teach you to ask for help. You want to learn from him, maybe teach him a few things of your own.
You want to love him. You think you could sooner rather than later.
You trace the line of his brow, run your fingertip over the scar on the bridge of his nose.
"Can you kiss me again?" you ask.
"What a fuckin' question," he says. "C'mere."
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bonny-kookoo · 1 year
Text
Jungkook
𝐄𝐯𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: The Hunt 🔞
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Every year, he joins the old tradition of traveling, where his ancestors have once ruled the skies. Every year, he meets familiar faces and new ones he's never seen before. Every year, he watches how his brothers find their mates, build their families, and introduce new generations to stories as old as time. But this year, something might be different. This year, there's you - a treasure worth more than he could ever offer.
Main Tags/Warnings: Dragon!Jungkook, strangers to lovers/mates, mentions of folklore and traditions, modern fantasy, romance, Dragon!Reader, it's finally here, Primal Play who would've thought, intense making out, sexual tension, smut, rough but sensual, protected sex you know me by now I always manage to sneak protection into these situations and so should you, biting, strength kink oops, knotting oops², Jungkook steals her underwear wait what-, outdoor sex, FLUFF
Length: 3.2k words
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A/N: Hi hello please eat well thank you
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The hunt is something you never thought you'd experience for yourself.
You're not really a fan of men constantly barking about how capable and masculine they are- when down the line all it's built on is insecurity and mommy-issues. Dragonkin of your age tend to be like that however. And so for the longest time, you had simply told yourself to leave the community entirely, and just live a normal human life away from your roots, like most female dragonkin do.
And then- well, then came Jungkook.
While at first, you didn't really trust him, you now know that it was mostly because he just felt.. too good to be true. There just had to be something off about him, something bad that he's hiding- and maybe there is, and he's just an extraordinarily skilled manipulator. But even if he is, you don't mind any longer. He can have you.
But not without any fight from your end.
The festival is in full force now, and as you step outside, you're immediately greeted by the sounds of music, people laughing and dancing, and food being cooked and eaten. You keep your eyes open for any sign of Jungkook being present-
after all, the moon is high up, meaning that the hunt, even now as you just finished your own part of the tradition inside the house, is on.
Any second now he could grab you, and you'd be officially his.
You've cleaned your body and made sure to use a scented body oil right after- lavender, to confuse his senses. You're not going to make it easy, not now, and not ever. If he wants to be with you, and more so stay with you, he's going to have to put in work as well- and you want him to know that right from the start. You're a dragonkin, just like him after all. You're not going to stay with someone who thinks he's a treasure, but in reality is just cheap metals acting like it.
But for now, you'll keep an eye out for him as you stand by a grill, getting some food for yourself while he's probably already hunting you in silence, waiting for his chance to strike.
And true to that, unbeknownst to you, he is already stalking his treasure, waiting for the perfect moment.
He's picked up your scent already, heavily masked by the floral body oil and the shampoo you've used for your hair today. The night of the Hunt is always special- both him and you wash off anything of the past still clinging to your bodies, before you dive in and give into your instincts, to lead you where you want to be in the future.
Either together, or apart. If you want the latter, you'll need to escape him until the sun starts to rise. But he feels like that won't happen- because just a moment later, as he walks around a corner, there in the distance, he can see you.
As soon as he spots you, it’s like his instincts take ahold of him. There’s no denial of the power you already hold over him, one glance enough to trap him into abandoning anything he was going to do- instead, his legs already moving, feet on their way to follow where you’re leading him. Through the crowds and past dancing people, the lights and lanterns glow as if to help him in keeping up with you.
The jump in your step makes it the more clear to him that you’re clearly enjoying this, teasing him almost; the bell on your anklet a siren song putting him into a trance, helplessly cursed to follow wherever you go.
And then you turn around, impish smile on your lips as you catch his hand, pulling him closer to you as you jump and dance to the music being played, but only for a moment, before your hands push against his chest, the chase finally starting as you give him the final sign to catch you now.
You’re offering him a chance- and he’d be stupid not to take it.
Your laughter makes it horribly easy to follow you through the woods, stray lanterns here and there helping his human sight to stand a chance during this night. The music has grown faint, drums still heavy and noticeable, just like the other instruments and laughing people back at the main grounds. He can hear your breathing by now, and it fuels his own desire because it’s a sign that he’s almost made it.
He can’t let you get away now.
You can hear him close behind, boots heavy on the forest floor as he never seems to lose sight of you- and you wouldn’t want him to, either. He’s already proven himself as a more than suitable mate, as more than a potential friend or lover. But he’s a bit cocky, a little bit too proud and up in the clouds- a lesson is due it seems for the tall dragon chasing you as if he’s the apex predator.
Sure, the anklet he gave you might be a little bit of a hassle- but nothing you can’t handle. He thinks he’s already got you pinned. He thinks you’ll just make it easy.
It’s time to prove him wrong.
Swiftly you grab the hem of your dress to hold it up, before you change your direction, ducking under heavy trunks of fallen trees before you jump over others too close to the ground, your goal in sight as you can head him almost growl under his breath as he encounters the many hurdles you’ve already gotten over.
With enough time to spare now, you start to climb the tree in front of you-
Only for his wrist to catch your ankle, delicate golden bell almost mocking you as it jingles, both of you panting as he grins up from his spot on the ground. His black hair is wild and curled at the ends, his eyes piercing with excitement as he slowly catches his breath. You still at least move to sit on one of the thick branches able to easily support your weight, his hold on your leg still present, though it relaxes as you look at him. “Caught you.” He says happily, as if he’s just made his greatest achievement to this date and you smile.
He can’t quite grasp that he’s really got you now.
“You did.” You answer back, wind rustling the crowns full of leaves of the trees all around you both, music faint in the background. “What’re you gonna do now?” You ask him, and he chuckles, lip running over his bottom lip before he answers, stepping closer, making you shiver in anticipation.
“First, I’ll get my treasure down from that tree..” he starts, easily pulling you down just like he said- catching you, thankfully, as he holds you by your waist, eyes running over your body, finally able to have you up close like this. “…then, I’ll admire it..” he continues lowly, no need to put much volume into his voice as he does just what he says, one of his hands moving to run through your hair, exposing the side of your neck to him, a place still bare but soon to wear his mark of love.
“ ..and then?” You ask quietly, making his smile grow as he leans down close, breath hot against your skin.
“..and then I’ll claim it.” He says, lips faintly brushing against your ear.
And you smile, grin spreading, before you tilt your head.
"Good luck with that." You hum against his lips which are just a breath away- and his gaze widens just for a split second before you sneakily dash away from him and out of his grasp, running faster than before deeper into the surrounding woods. You're really not making it easy for him at all.
And he loves it, muscles aching to get a final grasp on you now.
You're going to be his.
He can see you in the distance getting closer, no match for his stamina at the end of the day as he slowly catches up with you. He's got to give you that- you're not stupid at all, instincts clearly sharp and working well. Instead of trying to outrun him, you constantly twist and turn, trying to confuse him instead. But it doesn't work this easily on him.
Especially because he knows that you're having just as much.. fun as he does.
He can smell you.
He's already won. You just want to see if he truly wants to earn his spot at your side it seems like. And he does- he wants to prove his worth in more ways than just this. What you don't know, is that he's not just running after you- he's not hunting you anymore, but more so herding you into the direction he so wants you to run towards.
And just like sheep, you run right where he wants you to.
It's a split second where he can see you trip, almost falling, if not for his hand reaching out to grab the back of your white dress to yank you backwards into his chest where he holds you. You're both breathing heavily, chests rising and falling at a rapid pace, before he finally gets out a question.
"You okay?" He asks, and you nod, reassuring him quietly. "Looks like I caught you again." He chuckles, and you laugh too, still out of breath.
"Pure luck." You hum out, before you lean into him-
giving up.
giving yourself to him.
"I can give you a third chance." He offers teasingly almost, though he does mean it. You shake your head however, denying it. You don't actually want to run from him anymore.
You're fine with staying at his side.
"No." You hum, leaning your head back into his body. "You caught me." You admit, breathing finally evening out, and he smiles down at you, before he turns you around, and holds your face in his hands to finally kiss you- hungry and eager, after the chance had been taken away moments prior by you.
He's no longer wasting time.
You're not sure where he's walking you towards, his lips chasing away any coherent thought it feels like, but even if you could form a functioning thought right now, you wouldn't actually fight him at all.
"Jungk-" You gasp when his knee pushes between your legs, your back against a tree behind you while his hands waste no time to touch you. Currently occupied with feeling your chest through your dress, he's almost growling into your mouth as he grabs at your flesh, all while he steals your breath, lips working tirelessly against your own.
There's nothing that's holding him back any longer. He doesn't need to restrain himself.
"I told you how it's gonna go, didn't I?" He says, finally giving you some chance to breath, while he lifts his leg a little, pushing further into you. "I caught you.." He hums against your lips, slipping out of his jacket to move a bit more freely, hands gripping the hem of your dress to push it up so his palms can explore what skin you're hiding beneath. "Now I'm gonna make you mine." He grins down at you.
"Right here?" You ask, but he knows from the sight of your eager hips alone that you're not against the idea at all.
"Right here.." he agrees therefore, leaning down to kiss you feverishly, hands unable to keep still as they explore your body, anklet around your foot jingling every now and then with every movement you make. You could've taken it off at any point-
But you didn't. You accept him. You want him. And it only fuels his need for you.
"Jungkook please-" you beg, raising your hips to try and reach him. He knows what you want, what you crave.
"Hm?" He asks, biting at your neck before he kisses the marks soothingly. "You sound so sweet." He comments with amusement, while you grip his wrists, needing to hold onto something. He's not marked you up yet- and you wonder why not. He's got the chance now. You want him too. You want him to claim you, just like he said.
His hand between your legs is feeling you up, exploring, trying to prepare you for what's possibly to come. Maybe even just checking if you're getting ready yourself.
And what he finds gives him his definite answer.
"You were made for me, weren't you?" He coos at you, a smile on his lips as he watches you squirm, before he moves his hands, gripping the sides of your underwear, the sound of fabric ripping cutting through the silent woods around you. It happens twice- and then the fabric is gone, a cool gust of wind leaving you shivering for a second, wet skin exposed to the elements while he sneaks your ripped underwear into the pocket of his pants. It's an action you don't notice-
and it doesn't matter anyways, as his fingers enter you, exploring what makes you squirm and what makes your breath hitch.
You're clinging onto him, and he loves the feeling of your fingers on his skin, desperation making you uncaring of how you might come off as towards him. He wants you just like this- raw, unfiltered, wild. After all, there's dragonblood running in both of your veins. Flames burn under your skin, never to be tamed, only ever bowing to the one you'll call your mate.
And he knows he'll bow to you if you just say so, no shame in the thought at all.
He's yours.
He honestly had given up on the thought of ever really getting together with another dragonkin, considering his lack of interest, and the small amount of female dragons still participating in festivities like these. He knows that it's a complicated issue where no one's really truly entirely at fault- but having you in his hands like this makes him hopeful that maybe not all is lost yet. There's still chances for dragons to find and love each other-
You're both a prime example.
You're awfully fidgety now, clearly trying to get him to get you off- but he just chuckles. "No." He suddenly says, and you look at him, confused before you can hear his belt buckle, jeans falling down to his knees, his length already way beyond ready. He's impressive, just like any dragonkin- the distinctive shape of his cock reminding you of what will happen if he goes in raw like this.
And apparently, that's exactly what he wants to do, as he adjusts your hands on his shoulders, eyes sharp and filled to the brim with nothing but lust.
"Hold onto me, my love." He growls out to you, before he holds underneath your thighs, resting your back against the bark of the tree behind you, needing some sort of help to guide the tip of his leaking length towards your equally sodden entrance, before he lets your body lean down onto it, filling you up.
You're instantly clenching around him, feeling like you've finally been made whole.
You're clinging onto him, arms around his neck, before he adjusts the placement of his hands, now on your ass as he helps you move, skin slapping against skin while you whimper into his neck, your kisses on the skin shaky, as you try and keep yourself from biting him. Your head is dizzy, barely able to think much more than about him, his scent, his hands on you, his body so close, his mouth even closer as he breathes down your neck, his cock balls deep inside you.
You're sure you've by now stained even his skin in your arousal. You must be- because the smell of sex is all around you both.
He slows down for a moment, before he takes a few steps, leaning down on his knees before your back is placed on something..
soft?
You're a little curious where you are, but he gives you no chance to really take a look around, when he pushes himself back into you, hands pushing your dress out of the way, before he grips at the neckline of it, fabric loudly protesting against the way he pulls on it to expose your naked chest to him. He's ruining your clothes-
and you couldn't care less, as you feel him thrust inside you again, his pace now much more controlled, much more calculated. The grip he has on your wrists will surely leave them red for a while, and you want all of his marks he's willing to give you.
"Jungkook-" you whine, breathing heavily, back arching and hips squirming as you reach your peak. "-please-" You beg, and he knows exactly what you want.
"You want my mark?" He asks, and you nod, wrists wiggling around to instead move, holding his hands, interlocking your fingers. "You want to be mine?" He asks, and you yet again agree, feeling him stutter in his pace as well.
And then he leans down, hands on your back picking you up, position changing yet again as he pulls you close by your ass, helping you in your hips moving, obscene sounds coming from the both of you while he pushes your hair out of the way, kissing up the path to your neck where he decides for the best spot to place his bond.
And as he bites down, he feels something he didn't quite expect-
You doing just the same to him.
It catches him off guard so much, that he instantly reaches his own orgasm, length swelling inside you to keep him locked in place as his cock spurts into you, coating your insides in his clear cum. He doesn't have to worry about accidentally knocking you up- after all, that's another part of his dragonblood, something to differentiate him from regular humans. The first time with his mate, he's only claiming you- mixing up your scents, creating an entirely new one, bonding himself to you for the rest of your lifes.
And he knew you willingly gave yourself to him at the end of this hunt- but to have you claim him too, definitely gives him a boost of confidence in your now shared future together.
You're both breathing heavily, your thighs still shaking from your orgasm that's still drumming through you, as you hold onto him for dear life. Only now do you finally have time to look around a little, noticing the numerous blankets you're both sitting on, and only now do you realize just how much more thought he'd put into all of this than you originally thought he would.
He really isn't at all what you thought he'd be, as a dragonkin.
And it's the last thing, the last proof you need to finally let yourself be held by him, his hands running over your exposed skin as if to make sure you stay warm as the wind rushes softly through the crowns of the trees around you, while he nuzzles the spot of your mark on your neck, occasional kisses placed as if they could help it heal faster. He's probably all foggy inside his head, and you don't mind letting yourself feel the emotions as well-
shutting your brain off, as you lean into his chest, arms around him holding him tightly, while his chest rumbles with the purrs of pleasure and happiness.
You're finally his.
And he'll always be yours.
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nohoney · 1 year
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Bakugou would listen to you rant all about work. Even though he’s the one out on the streets with more exciting stories to tell, one of his favorite things is to hear you talk about your own work. He follows and nods along with whatever work story you have for him for the day, always attentive but never telling you what you should do to handle it (as he had learned from a prior relationship).
“I can tell he fuckin’ hates me, you know?” You continue on about your current work events as you sit on the countertop and watch Bakugou cut vegetables, “He keeps on bringing up my old manager as if she has anything to do with it now. Like, no motherfucker! You answer to me now and I’m saying pay your stupid invoice!”
The vegetables for dinner are set aside while the oven is still preheating. Two pieces of pork chop are taken from the fridge and is set aside on a clean plate as Bakugou looks for spices to rub into the meat. “So what happened baby? Did he pay? Y’said you were dealing with this for almost two weeks.” He asks you, genuinely curious if your annoying client is actually complying with you. The thought in his head is wondering how you handled it.
“I have to read you this email that I wrote. I gotta say the professional ways of dissing someone in email is something I finally understand now.” You laugh as you pull up your work email on your phone. Word for word you read out your well thought out response to your difficult client, not backing down and upholding work policy as you are expected to. Bakugou had never really bothered with any type of skill of being professional through communication in his job; it’s what his team is for while he gets the really privilege to cuss as he pleases and have his team handle it for the public. “Here is how I signed off, I think it’s probably my most eloquent and business-like ‘fuck you’ I’ve written so far.”
You clear your throat first before reading aloud, “‘I hope that the explanations of how to navigate your account has cleared up any confusion you may have and that you are able to move forward in compliance with our company policy, if you have any further questions then please let me know.’ God I know he’s going to hate me as soon as he reads it!”
He chuckles, happy that you know how to stand your ground in such a manner that Bakugou knows he struggles in. “You tell him, baby.”
“I fucking did Katsuki!” You boast with a proud little smile as you hop off the countertop and go to his side as he heats oil in a pan. “Sorry, I’ve been going on about this annoying client for a while. I wanna hear about your work today Tsuki.”
Bakugou shakes his head though and urges you to talk about what else happened at your work. The meat sizzles as he presses it into the pan, crackling and sizzling in a way that’s reminiscent of his quirk but to a much lower degree. The oven beeps to indicate that preheating is finished and you move to put all the vegetables into the glass pan and stick it in for him, already setting a timer before he can even ask. “What about that other guy? The one who keeps on saying that he’s getting investors so he wants to make you wait a little longer?” He asks you when he recalls another client you complained of a few days ago.
You excitedly pop off about your work again, unknowing how you calm Bakugou down with your own work stories. Your series of responsibilities that he wouldn’t know the first clue how to handle are interesting to him to hear how you handle yourself. It’s simple compared to what he does but in no way is it easy either. To see you struggle sometimes with your own career wasn’t easy for him but you were also strong enough to handle it all the same.
And he liked to think that he made it easy for you to handle because he wanted to hear anything and everything about your job that’s so different from his. “Tell me about the parking permits, did that get solved yet?” He asks as he starts to set food on the plates.
“No! I’m on week three of dealing with it and it’s ridiculous! I sent everything in so early and they deal with it so late!!”
Bakugou listens with a happy heart to hear you talk, never wanting you to apologize over the things that frustrate you. And by the end of your rants, even he feels a little lighter as he readies to get in bed with you.
And the next day as he’s just about to enter a meeting in his agency, Bakugou gets a text from you.
[1:57 pm] omg i need to tell you what this mofo emailed me when we’re home
He looks forward to it, letting a little smile come onto his face. He can see you all cute and puffed up and mad, and he can’t wait to hear about it.
[1:58 pm] can’t wait baby. love you.
You text him back within seconds.
[1:58 pm] love you!!!
Bakugou can’t wait to be home and listen to you.
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thejujvtsupost · 6 months
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Filming A Sex Scene
Actor!Gojo has to film his first ever sex scene and he’s nervous, good thing his girlfriend is there to encourage him.
Notes: F!reader, established relationship, fluff, healthy communication, anxiety, and humor. So unedited.
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Up until now all Satoru’s done is action films and a couple of comedies, romance films weren’t his style.
So other than a few awkward on screen kisses, he’s never had to do anything intimate.
But this movie was a huge deal with hundreds of people running around in the studio, and even though he had modesty garments on, he still felt naked.
“You pinky promise you won’t be jealous or upset about it? Maybe they can get my body double…” Satoru was slumped against you, arms hugging your middle while you stood between his legs.
“Baby this is your job. There’s nothing sexy about doing these scenes, they’re going to be directing you the entire time. But if you feel uncomfortable, then you shouldn’t do it. You have my full support.”
“Will you stay and watch?”
“Do you want me to?”
He nodded against your abdomen, “I’m the only one in the main cast that hasn’t done a sex scene so I wanna do it but I don’t want to do it alone.”
You hum and kiss his head, “Technically you’re not alone, but I understand. I’ll be right off to the side holding your robe, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Hey I’m serious, there’s nothing wrong with not wanting to do this. Your contract says you don’t have to do the intimate scene if you don’t want to. Plenty of actors never need to and it won’t change your skill. If anything, saying no increases your integrity because you’re putting down a boundary.”
“Can you see if Shoko’s out there? I think I should talk about it with her.” He knew Shoko, the assistant director, would have his back. They’ve worked on several projects together, one of them including the current director: Kento Nanami.
“Of course, I’ll flag her down.” You kiss his forehead and leave but you’re met face to face with shoko when you open the door to his dressing room, “Hey Toru, speak of the devil. I was just about to see if you were around, Shoko.”
Her brows furrowed slightly, Gojo rarely needed anything, a big perk of working with him. “Is everything alright, Gojo?”
“I don’t think I want to have fake sex with Yuki on camera anymore.”
You facepalm and sigh, ��There’s so many other ways to word it and you went with that?”
“Okay no big deal, we’ll get your double ready but we’ll need your voice for the scene. Sound okay?”
“It’s that easy?”
“Well yeah, your double’s already on set from the jump scene earlier this morning. You can get dressed, we don’t reuse the garments so just toss them. Heads up though, Kento will probably want you to come in a little early on Friday to record the sound bites for the sex scene.”
A heavy breath left Gojo’s body in relief, “No one’s mad or anything?”
Shoko laughed at him a little, “No, no one’s mad. For this sort of thing it honestly doesn’t matter if it’s you or the double physically. Kento doesn’t mind either way, plus your contract has that stipulation for this exact reason.”
“Oh, then I can go home?”
Shoko confirmed and left with a wave of her hand to make arrangements. “You handled that well, baby. I’m proud of you for communicating your needs.”
Gojo’s cheeks went pink, “I don’t understand how people do it, I feel like it’s too much exposure.”
“Everyone just has a different comfort level, nothing wrong with that.”
“I guess so. Just freaks me out.” He stood up and pecked your lips before dropping his robe, “You’re the only one I want to see me naked anyway.”
“Oh my god just go get dressed so we can get dinner!” You shook your head and hung up his robe in a rare moment of silence.
The quiet didn’t last long, though, because Satoru yelled from the connected bathroom: “You know you love me!”
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Thinking about making a request? Check my bio to see if they’re open! <3
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cheapshrimpysheep · 5 months
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Hello OP! Hope u don’t mind this request for the demon bros
So just earlier i saw the “raising a pet together” game on tiktok, and i was on a freenzy, IT’S JUST TOO CUTE 🥹 and i’m too single to have anybody to do it with me lol.
What would be their reaction when the MC got them to downloaded the app and raise the virtual pet together?
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COMMENTS: Well, I didn't know about this game, so I asked Gemini (Bard) about it to find out a little more about this type of game. Long story short: I told some of my friends about this game and now we are taking care of a virtual kitten together 😊 Thank you so much for the request 😉
What I wrote is based on my little experience playing the game called Pokipet. I hope you and all enjoy 🐶🐱
CHARACTERS: Demon Brothers (Lucifer; Mammon; Leviathan; Satan; Asmodeus; Beelzebub & Belphegor)
TAGS: Fluff; GN Reader; Bullet Points
WORD COUNT: An average of 390 words per character.
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CONTEXT - According to Gemini (formerly "Bard"): The "Raising a Pet Together" game is a concept where you and someone else, like a friend, family member, or significant other, work together to raise a virtual pet.
The core idea is to work together to raise a virtual pet, which can be a fun way to: Simulate pet ownership and its responsibilities. Test your teamwork and communication skills. Have a cute and engaging way to interact with someone else.
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“Why would we take care of a virtual pet together if we can already do it with Cerberus?” He will ask you.
Well, maybe you just want to try it out and see how it goes.
“Of course everything would be fine. The two of us would be its caretakers. How could anything go if not perfectly?” he sighs and chuckles “Fine. If you really want to do this, then I can accommodate your whims.”
According to Lucifer's traditional Devildom profile, when asked "Cats or Dogs" he answers "Cerberus". So he would choose to take care of a dog and name it Cerberus.
Whenever you open the app to take care of the little virtual Cerberus, Lucifer has already taken care of everything. Feed it? He already did. Give it a bath? He already did it. Pet it? The happiness bar is already maxed out, but you can still do it.
You would probably do more of the decorating of the room and give it clothes and accessories. He'll probably be stupidly good at the minigames and earn a lot of money so you can spend it freely on those things.
Whenever he has a lot of work and opens the app as if it were another of his responsibilities and sees that the virtual Cerebrus is fed and well taken care of by you, he will smile in relief. It's so wonderful to have another person he can rely on and share responsibilities with. You're so good at taking the weight off his shoulders and making him feel at ease.
He will definitely try to use this game to convince you to take care of the real Cerebrus with him instead of a virtual pet.
If the app has a chat and, at night, you both open the app at the same time to put your pet to bed:
Lucifer: Good evening (Y/N)
Lucifer: Are you here to put Cerberus to bed too?
Lucifer: What a pleasant coincidence.
The two of you cuddle your pet until it falls asleep.
Lucifer: Now, you should go to sleep too.
Lucifer: The same applies to me.
Lucifer: But now I want to fall asleep with you by my side.
Lucifer: Come to my room.
Lucifer: I can cuddle you until you fall asleep too.
Lucifer: If what you want is to sleep, of course.
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“Raising a pet together?! Do you think I have money to support a pet? I can barely stay out of debt!” Mammon panics and speaks as if you were talking about a child.
But then you explain that it's a virtual pet, on your D.D.D.s.
“Oh...” He blushes a lot. “W-why didn't you say that from the beginning, you dummy?” He thinks for a second and then smiles widely. “Well, if it's free, I guess we can try it.”
According to Mammon's traditional Devildom profile, when asked "Cats or Dogs"  he answers "Cats". If you were surprised, so was I. For a name? Maybe Goldie, like his credit card. A yellow kitten named Goldie.
He'll blush a little when he thinks that you're taking care of a pet together, like a real close couple.
You are the one who will take care of Goldie the most. Giving it food and bath. And there will be many times when you almost don't have the money for it because Mammon will spend it all on toys, clothes and decoration. Even though it's a virtual pet, he will spoil it.
In terms of the pet's needs, he will probably just play with it. And give it treats. He will try to do the minigames to earn more money, but regardless of whether he is good at these minigames or not, he will continue to spend more money than he can earn.
But despite everything, he will try to be as helpful as possible and genuinely try to take care of Goldie so you don't have to do all the work. Sometimes he will even surprise you by taking really ood care of it.
If the app has a chat and, at night, you both open the app at the same time to put your pet to bed:
Mammoney: Oi! What are ya doin' here?
Mammoney: Oh. Ya here to put Goldie to bed too?
Mammoney: Ok. You can do it tonight
You cuddle your pet until it falls asleep.
Mammoney: Aww look at our baby~
Mammoney: PET! I MEAN PET!
Mammoney: hey... if you're still not sleepy either
Mammoney: why don't ya come to my room?
Mammoney: I always feel more relaxed with you by my side
Mammoney: Maybe we can help each other sleep?
Mammoney: Or... do something else if ya want...
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“A VIRTUAL PET TO TAKE CARE OF TOGETHER?!?!” Levi is overjoyed with the idea! His eyes were sparkling! You don't need to say anything else, he's already downloading the app. Could this be a test to find out if you would be good parents to a real pet? Or maybe... No! NO LEVI! TOO EARLY!! One step at a time.
According to Levi's traditional Devildom profile, when asked "Cats or Dogs"  he answers "Henry". But since he could only choose between dog and cat, he would probably choose dog, because cats are known to eat fish.
For a name? “Maybe Henry 3.0?” He starts to suggest “Hum... no... Ah! Can I try something?” he writes a name that is accepted and shows it to you so you can confirm or deny the suggestion, with his cheeks slightly flushed. Henry <3 When he sees you smile in confirmation, his smile and enthusiasm only increase.
He's a dedicated gamer, so you don't have to worry about anything at all! He will get so many coins that you will practically be rich in that game. And he will buy everything. EVERYTHING! Decoration, food, toys, clothes, accessories, literally everything that is possible to buy in the game. And you can do whatever you want.
If you show that you would like to contribute more to your pet's care, he will apologize and promise to play less so you can have the opportunity to take care of Henry <3 too. But of course he will continue to open the app almost constantly, even if it's just to see you taking care of Henry <3.
Don't be surprised if he one day shows up with a Henry <3 plush so that the two of you can cuddle your baby whenever you want.
If the app has a chat and, at night, you both open the app at the same time to put your pet to bed:
L3V1: HEYYYYY ^.^
L3V1: Are you here to put Henry <3 to bed too?
L3V1: Let’s do it together!
The two of you cuddle your pet until it falls asleep.
L3V1: Hey... um... are you sleepy?
L3V1: The thing is I'm not sleepy yet
L3V1: Actually I'm now wide awake
L3V1: Could you keep me company for a little while?
L3V1: You know, I always feel sleepier when I'm with you
L3V1: I feel safe and calm
L3V1: If by chance you also feel this way about me
L3V1: Would you like to keep each other company in my room?
L3V1: But it could also be in yours
L3V1: Or not. It's okay if you don't want to
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Take care of a virtual pet together? Where one of the options is a cat? Sign him up! And since he can't have a real pet cat, this is the best thing you could have propose to him! (*cough* besides marriage *cough*)
We don't even need the Devildom profile for this one, do we?
For a name? Probably the name of one of his favorite writers. Or... how about the name of one of your (you two) favorite writers? Christopher from Christopher Peugeot ;)
He's not that much into games, but since we're talking about taking care of a kitten, he can reach your level of experience. Or at least he will try. And to do this, he will do two things: 1st - Ask you for help. Which will make you two learn together how the game works. And 2nd - Do a lot of research on the internet about the best ways to play and the best strategies to get lots of coins so that your cat doesn't lack any care.
That game will be one of the main apps on his D.D.D. In addition to apps about books and the chat where he talks to you and the others.
Maybe he'll even find a way to change the background on his phone to a screen shot of your virtual pet.
If the app has a chat and, at night, you both open the app at the same time to put your pet to bed:
stn: Hello.
stn: I see you're here to put Christopher to bed as well.
stn: Why don't we do the honors together?
The two of you cuddle your pet until it falls asleep.
stn: Now we both should go to sleep too.
stn: If you are having trouble falling asleep, you can come to my room.
stn: I will be happy to read with you until you fall asleep.
stn: Your company will also help me rest.
stn: So feel free to come see me.
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“Take care of a virtual pet together? That sounds so cute! Oh, but it's not as demanding as taking care of a real pet, is it? I'm not ready for that kind of commitment. I still need my ME time.~”
According to Asmo's traditional Devildom profile, when asked "Cats or Dogs" he answers "Me <3". But you need to choose between a dog and a cat. So you suggest a cat.In real life, cats are generally not as dependent as dogs. And, lets say that they are more likely to take "beauty more seriously" than a dog.
For a name? “OH! Can it be Asmodeus II? Pretty pleeeeease~”
You will be Asmodeus II's main caretaker. Since Asmo will be more interested in spoiling it with toys, clothes and affection. And if he wants to buy something and doesn't have coins for it, he'll try to convince you to play more mini-games to get more coins for him to spend. “Ow, don't be mad at me hon. It's for our little baby. What if I spoil you in real life as a thanks~?”
When he tells his followers about this new virtual pet, eventually, more and more fans will ask him to tell them more and more about how it's going. Which mean that your pet will end up becoming part of his content. But it also ends up making Asmo pay more attention and care for it more.
And don't be surprised if, for a person who didn't want to commit to a pet, he ends up being the one trying to convince you to get a real pet. After all, if a virtual pet is already so good, imagine how much better a real pet would be! How cute would that be! And how much more engagement and new followers his social media would have! But despite this last one, what he really wants is to share a new love with you.
If the app has a chat and, at night, you both open the app at the same time to put your pet to bed:
AsmoBaby: Hey hon~ <3
AsmoBaby: I just wanted to come put our baby to bed~
AsmoBaby: Sorry for always being you the one to do this
AsmoBaby: What if you let me do this tonight? ;)
He cuddles your pet until it falls asleep.
AsmoBaby: Awwww! IT’S SO CUTE!
AsmoBaby: I have to take a screenshot to show my followers!
AsmoBaby: Give me a second~
AsmoBaby: I could see this cute little thing sleeping for hours~
AsmoBaby: But we both need our beauty sleep
AsmoBaby: Oh, that gives me an idea!
AsmoBaby: Why don't you come to my room?
AsmoBaby: We can do our nighttime beauty routines together
AsmoBaby: And we can sleep together if you want to stay with me
AsmoBaby: You deserve some spoiling for taking such good care of our baby <3
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“A virtual pet?” Beel wouldn't understand the proposal well at first. “Isn't the point of having a pet to have a true companion by your side? You know, to take care of each other and play together?”
You tell him yes, but that it's just a little experience for you to share. Seeing how much you really want to do that with him, he will smile. “Okay, if you really want it that much, I'll take care of a pet with you. It'll be fun. Anything with you is.”
According to Beel's traditional Devildom profile, when asked "Cats or Dogs" he answers "Dogs". So, a dog will be.
For a name? You're asking a lot of him. Could you choose one for him? But try to keep it from being a food-related name, this will make Beel hungry. (And in the worst possible scenario, he wanting to bite your virtual pet. This is before he becomes attached to it)
He won't care much about aesthetics, you can take care of that if you want. You are free to dress your pet and get it as many toys as you want. Beel will be more interested in feeding it well and exercising.
In terms of playing mini-games to get coins, it would be very balanced, none of you would get many more coins than the other. Unless you're crazy about those mini-games. In that case, you would get more coins than Beel.
You also shouldn't be surprised when he starts talking about the two of you getting a real dog as a pet. Yes, it's true that Lucifer has Cerberus and that he would let you take care of him from time to time, but Beel wants a puppy of both of you. He wants to have a little furry baby with you.
If the app has a chat and, at night, you both open the app at the same time to put your pet to bed:
Beelzeburger: Hey
Beelzeburger: You're also here to put our dog to bed?
Beelzeburger: Being here with you makes me very happy
Beelzeburger: We can do this together
The two of you cuddle your pet until it falls asleep.
Beelzeburger: I'm going to get a snack before going to bed
Beelzeburger: Do you want one too?
Beelzeburger: We can have a midnight snack together
Beelzeburger: I'm going to the kitchen now
Beelzeburger: Do you want to meet me there?
Beelzeburger: Or do you want me to bring a snack to your room?
Beelzeburger: Oh wait!
Beelzeburger: I can eat your snack on the way
Beelzeburger: Sorry, it would be better if you come meet me in the kitchen
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“A virtual pet? Well, it's not as demanding as having a real pet. And it would be fun to take care of a pet with you. Okay, we can do it.”
According to Belphie's traditional Devildom profile, when asked "Cats or Dogs" he answers "Dogs". So, a dog will be.
For a name? Well, Belphie would have a little idea. “You know, Beel has always reminded me of a happy dog, especially when he smiles. Ha ha. What do you think about calling it Beel?” That and when you two talk about your pet without giving context, the reactions of the brothers would be fun to watch.
You'll probably realize that taking care of that pet with Belphie is a rollercoaster. One moment he takes care of all the pet's needs and even buys one or two little things for it. And the next, the pet has all its needs at a minimum and needs a lot of care. Those last one usually happens because Belphie has fallen asleep and has been sleeping for a long time. But apart from those times, your care would be quite balanced.
You would probably be more in charge of playing the mini-games to earn coins. That's because Belphie doesn't really like to have that much work, although he tries to do it from time to time so it doesn't always have to be you.
He wouldn't start trying to convince you to get a real pet. Especially a dog. Because he knows it would be a responsibility he's not prepared for and he knows it would end up giving you more work and he doesn't want that. That virtual pet is perfect. At least for now.
If the app has a chat and, at night, you both open the app at the same time to put your pet to bed:
Belphie: Hi
Belphie: You're here too
Belphie: Do you want to put it to sleep?
Belphie: Be my guest :)
You cuddle your pet until it falls asleep.
Belphie: Thanks <3
Belphie: Hey, since you're still awake too
Belphie: Come join me
Belphie: Let's cuddle until we fall asleep
Belphie: I always sleep better when I'm with you
Belphie: I also have the best dreams
Belphie: Come sleep with me~
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If you dropped in here out of the blue and want to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX
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heavenlymorals · 3 months
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Hi! I really enjoy your posts and I was hoping to see if you can answer this question for me. I want to write an Arthur x reader fic, but I want to try writing a more canon Arthur instead of a fanon Arthur. So if you're able to, what do you think Arthur would be like as husband or partner? Thank you! 🩵🩵
Arthur as a Husband (Arthur x Fem! Reader)
Thank you so much ❤️ I'm glad you like my posts, that makes me happy ❤️❤️
And boy, that's kinda a loaded question considering how vast the Arthur x Reader side of the fandom is, so this might be a bit controversial but here we go:
Also, these are all of my thoughts based on my past posts on Arthur. None of them are actually canon as far as I know nor am I presenting them to be canon. These are all just my thoughts based on what I've noticed in the game.
I genuinely think that Arthur would be a great husband BUT he'd be a great husband in the context of the 1800s.
He would never lay his hands on you. He would never disrespect you. Any man try to do anything to you, Arthur would go ballistic. He'd always defend his wife from disrespect. He would always carry your luggage. He would always be a gentleman and assist you in getting on a horse or a wagon. He'd make sure you're comfortable in any way he can. He would never want you to over exert yourself. He would love you to the point of devotion and given how his devotion works for the gang, it'd be priceless. He'd make sure to treat you to the fullest on every date. He'd want to impress you. He would love you most ardently and most fully. If he had sons, he'd make sure to always set a good example on how men should treat their wives/partners.
Very sweet, I know, but again- this is in the context of the 1800s.
I think Arthur, give his attitudes regarding gender roles, would be suited with a woman who believes in the same thing, which given the time period wasn't rare.
Arthur would protect, provide, and do all the traditional things that men were expected to do and he'd do them well enough to where you would never have to worry about things like money, protection, or him taking care of you and honoring you. He'd love you to devotion.
But where he'd do a man's duty, he'd expect you to do the woman's duty, and just how he'd love you to devotion, he'd expect the same. He would never let you do "men's work" if he can help it, unless y'all are living in a super tough environment where you would need to help him here and there, but he'd still do the vast majority of the hard work, and he'd expect a clean place to live, food, and all that domestic stuff from you. If the both of you are able to connect with that dynamic, than Arthur would honestly be a phenomenal husband. He'd be the model husband in the traditional relationship.
I also think respect would be a big thing too. You'd probably both tease each other and love it, but there has to be respect and understanding otherwise he would go off. Note how quick he was able to go off and raise his voice at Mary when she started disrespecting his life style yet chooses to want to use the skills he attained from that lifestyle to help her with her father. He also does it in public where everyone could hear and he only stops when he sees that it was deeply distressing to Mary after she asks him to be kind to her. I realized pretty quick that Arthur is not as patient or pacified as John when Abigail chews into him.
However, I also think he'd be very understanding and open minded to you if you seriously want to talk to him. Communication would be key between both of you and he'd try to understand your thoughts as best as he can and try to make you happy if he could, but again, he'd also expect the same of you.
It's a two way street in different ways. That's the best way I can put it. He'd love you to devotion, given that both of you are comfortable and happy with that traditional dynamic. Arthur would protect you, provide for you, make sure you are always comfortable and never destitute, and in return, he'd expect you to be there for him.
Hope you enjoyed that ❤️ And again, these are just my thoughts based on what I've noticed in canon. Happy writing! ❤️❤️❤️
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izvmimi · 3 months
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a/n: reader runs into a familiar stranger at her self-defense class. cw: pining, smut elements. female!reader.
Running into a beautiful stranger twice is already a disorienting experience, but when you walk into the neighborhood martial arts gym for a self-defense course for the first time (a little late due to ever terrible sense of time), Suo is standing at the very front of the gym, bowing with his introduction as your teacher for the evening and you freeze in your tracks.
Twice is a coincidence. Three times, and the universe playing tricks on you. Has to be.
You slip somewhere in the back, hoping not to be noticed or remembered but immediately his eyes set on you, and his smile is sweet in your direction, to the dismay of the predominantly female and clearly charmed classmates.
It doesn’t help that he’s called you by name.
“___, how kind of you to join us.” 
Your cheeks warm as you feel a million eyes set on you, and quickly avert your own to the ground as you find a place to stand. 
The class is over before you know it. You make a friend in the class, but she has the sort of over-friendly upfront personality that makes you wonder if she has an ulterior motive at first. She’s sweet however, doesn’t squeeze too hard when you’re partnered together and practicing disabling holds, and you end up exchanging numbers by the end of the class. You’ll need all the support you can get, as new to this community as you are.
Even she ends up leaving before you, however, and you wonder why you’re dragging your feet subconsciously as you pick up your things in the back of the class, until behind you Suo addresses you again.
“Hey, I meant it. I’m glad you came.”
Your gym bag swings a little too pendulously as you rise and turn abruptly, and practically knocks you off balance. Skittish by nature despite the fact that you are surprisingly cool under pressure, you nod quickly. Suo’s still smiling, the fox gaze of his that had you slightly unsettled the first time he put the skills he’s teaching you to practical demonstration weeks ago, and as he was appraising the work you did treating the wounds of the Bofurin kids you’ve unwittingly adopted in the neighborhood. 
“Thanks for having me,” you say and immediately regret it.
A stupid answer considering you pay to take this damn class. You cringe internally, a grimace on your face, and he actually chuckles at you, placing a hand gently on his chest. He’s a little too proper, as you’ve noticed before, like a fairytale prince who hasn’t seen a lick of war, even if the ease through which he demonstrated strikes against the body dummy suggests otherwise.
You wonder if he knows he makes you slightly uncomfortable, puts you on edge just enough that the reach he does to help you zip up your open gym bag practically has you jumping out of your skin.
“Just wanted to make sure nothing falls out,” he says. 
His smile never leaves his face, and you wonder what he’s like annoyed or angry, or perhaps he is just truly this kind.
“Thank you for the teaching today,” you offer, holding gently the strap of your bag. You have nothing more to say to him; you’ve already felt each other out through conversation recently, he is simply your teacher today, and you’ll be back at the same time next week. 
“Of course,” he replies, quickly. You make your way out, your step a little quicker than it should be. You can tell he’s watching you carefully as you leave, and remember that you probably still take the same route to your apartment and perhaps you could have walked some of the way there.
“Your aim is to use your attacker’s body weight against them,” Suo says aloud in the front of the class, at the same time the next week. It’s your turn to be the demonstration partner, and he turns in your direction, bidding you to react to the hand he poses firmly on your shoulder. The grip isn’t tight, but it’s there and it’s distracting. Distracting enough that some of the words coming out of his mouth aren’t exactly registering over the thump of your heartbeat. 
“I want you to drop quickly like I showed you earlier and assume a defensive position, knees to chest.”
Defensive position, you think. Suo showed up in your dream last night. He didn’t do anything except pour you tea and listen as you talked, but instead there was no backdrop of rowdy teenagers throwing packaged bandages at each other in your makeshift clinic, and you weren’t explaining your behavior, you were on a date, and he was listening to you talk about your favorite movie. 
You drop quickly, and while he doesn’t stumble, he loses his grip, and he turns to the rest of the class. 
“So exactly like she did, and then what you can do is add a roll out of the way and make sure to get to safety. Your goal is not to fight, but to make it far enough to get help.” He adds. You unravel, and his hand reaches to you to help you up, not turning away from the group. You take it and hope your hands aren’t sweaty. His palm is rougher than you expect for his gentle demeanor, and you unwittingly commit the feeling to memory. 
“How about we just pay him to follow us around?” your friend whispers to you in the back and you try desperately to prevent being flustered while thinking about the fact that he basically has already done this for you. 
And watching Suo just minutes later put a man larger than him in a half-nelson for practice escaping holds has you considering taking another class.
“You’re struggling too hard.”
Suo’s voice is breathier than it should be for as little effort as he’s putting into pinning you down. But he’s breathy, completely unrelated to the restraint that he’s putting on you, both of your wrists behind your back and held together in one hand, but by the fact that you’re on round two of the night. You’re twitching just slightly still, body residually electrified by your first orgasm a little while ago before you were rearing up to go again. You turn your head, previously mushed into the plush mattress to the side, so that you can speak. 
“We’re not in class right now, Suo,” you whine. 
He laughs, letting go of your wrists, and dipping down from where he straddles your body to kiss between your shoulder blades, before letting his chin rest just above your neck. His hands dig below so his arms can find their way around you and hold you close. 
“Right,” he practically sings into your skin.
Suo is a little rough when he handles you, but only because you like it. His lips graze intermittently at the skin of your neck as you let your breathing slow. The previous drag of his cock inside you as you lay prone has your walls still pulsing somewhat but you’re taking a break - to allow yourselves to feel your bodies against each other, and savor lips on your skin, fingertips trailing along your arms. 
“Do you feel good?”
You nod, and he rolls off of you; you immediately miss the weight and warmth and move so that you’re sticking back close to him. It’s late and he’s walked you home every night this week, and it’s been months since you first started taking his class. Perhaps you shouldn’t be fucking the instructor, but you’ve had enough new contacts in and outside of the gym that perhaps it’s meant to be.
Suo presses a kiss to your forehead, then lets his other hand graze gently up and down your belly, then settle around the mound of your left breast, squeezing gently. 
“Do you think we’re blowing our cover?” you ask. Your emotions are so easy to read on your face, after all, no matter how much you fight or repress them. 
Suo shrugs, then shifts until his lips are closing around the breast he’s squeezing. You moan with the sensation of him sucking for a moment before he opens his mouth, and looks up at you.
“It’s not wrong for me to teach a skill to someone I care about.” he reminds you. His voice is ever smooth, honey to your ears. His fingers slip again in your wet center as he kisses you again.
“You have to stop picking me to demonstrate,” you tease, letting your fingers run through his hair. 
“Mm. But perhaps you’re my star student?” he jokes. 
You shake your head and try to deny it but he’s sucking on your nipples again and a soft whimper lets out instead. Fired up by the sound of your voice, Suo puts you on your back again, hard cock warm and resting against the plushness of your thighs. 
“Ready to go again?” he asks, want dripping from his voice. Your arms wrap around his shoulders as you follow his lead, student to master but in a different context yet again. 
You won’t need to defend or resist this time, or possibly ever.
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About your non human au
Got a bit of a ramble plus a question but it's a bit long
How open to cuddling are the Nrc folks? Or more like, how willing and upfront/obvious about wanting scritches and pets is everyone in Nonhuman au. I was wondering where on the sliding scale of "unabashedly unashamedly asking for cuddles" vs "i totally do not want cuddles but if you don't give attention to me i will be upset for completely unrelated reasons that have nothing to do with not being petted and cuddled"
(also due to my garbo memory, i can't remember if basically the majority of all of NRC is now nonhuman in this au but i do recall that humans are rare so I'm gonna put in the other NRC folks too in case also cause it's fun)
I feel like the most upfront and unabashed about demanding or asking for scritches would be Lilia of course. Followed by Ace (i feel like he's desperately trying to act smug and jokey about it but he will be genuinely upset if you turn him down or worse get annoyed and actually go to someone else). Deuce i feel like wouldn't necessarily be super upfront (he's uber embarrassed and doesn't know how to go about communicating that) but he will do what he thinks will get what he wants without being too pushy. Lots of Deuce being fairly clingy and lots of casual leaning on reader/yuu but Deuce would get flustered easily i believe and he doesn't have the word weaving skills like Ace to try to bluff his way out. Also Floyd will give Lilia a run for his money with how vocal and willing to go get his damn cuddles. Kalim as well but he's not as likely to gun for Reader/Yuu like Lilia or Floyd. More of an impromptu decision based on encounters.
Cater, Trey, Jack, maybe even Ruggie and Jade are less openly vocal and pushy about their scritches and cuddles. They are more likely to be casual i believe and also try to sneak in their wants. However they probably won't deny nor completely avoid the want for pets or grooming. Rook can technically be placed here too cause i feel like he wants to have attention on him but also he wants his little mischievous chase games in the mix (he's being chased and the reward is pets) but he doesn't want to miss out on that relaxation time just in case the lil human can't keep up. Some good old Rook complexity in there involving wanting to be accepted to be seen and to see beauty but also an odd sense of trepidation and almost shyness, he might even half joke about how you're trying to tame him and that you should be responsible for those you tame
The last group definitely feels like the type to never outright demand or ask for cuddles scritches or pets but they will be soo petty and irritated if they think they're not getting their due attention. Jealous tsunderes to me lol. Leona, Vil, Riddle, Idia and Malleus go in this category but for different reasons. Leona and Vil just have a lot of pride and an image they're trying to uphold. Riddle and Idia are soo touch starved and socially awkward that they both don't know how to go about communicating what they want but also they don't know how to handle it when they're actually interacting. (riddle is so socially awkward but he at least has a plethora of rules to work off of unlike idia). Malleus is awkward and out of his depth so i think he just wouldn't know how to express what he wants but he's very jealous of the others for getting their own cuddles so easily in comparison
Loving the ideas you got!
I do love a good ramble.
Ok, so
“How open to cuddling are the Nrc folks?” 
With the guys at that school in general It's sort of a case-by-case type thing and depends on the person in particular. Kind of like how some people are cool with physical affection or hugs but some aren't, and with others, you gotta build up a bond for them to be cool with it. Some of the beasties aren't gonna want some random person touching them, just like a regular person wouldn't be cool with it.
A thing to remember though that changes the circumstance is, that this is a school full of a bunch of hormonal dudes and you happen to be a cute exotic little thing. So some are gonna be cooler with that curious touching just for that…though you should be wary of their intentions.
But that’s just an in general thing for the students, it's gonna be dif with the main guys since they know you and you went through all that stuff with them. You guys are homies.
Looking at what you wrote I say you're pretty spot on with how open those certain main guys would be to it. Adding on to the Lilia bit, not only in his regular form is he perfect for petting but in this au, he has two other forms he can switch into: A big scary sexy bat monster and…adorable little actual bat that you can keep in your pocket. Being in the latter form lets him conserve energy and magic so he likes to chill in it, another benefit is how freaking ADORABLE he is in it, and he uses it to his advantage with no shame.
Pet him, brush him, tell him how cute he is, and kiss his little face. The funest thing to do is feed him little cherry tomatoes and watch him go ham on them. Have you seen those cute vids of fruit bats eating stuff? Well, you should.
Ace and Deuce are clingy little things but in different ways. Deuce wants you to touch him so badly but he’s anxious about making you uncomfortable or you thinking he’s weird. Being a girl would add more to that. Also you call him a good boy while showing him affection he will die. P.S. When he goes home for the break and his mom smells you on him she is going to ask him so many questions and tease him. Please help him.
Ace is…regardless of what creature he is in the au he has asshole cat energy. Like, he's clingy and demands attention at the worst time but when you're in the mood he's like “Meh” but then gets pissy when you go to or smell like someone else. Passive aggressively scents all your stuff.
Floyd and Kalim have no shame in asking. Though with Kalim it's asking and although he’ll get sad when you're busy or not in the mood for it he’ll respect it. Floyd does not. He is like one of those big ass dogs that will straight up lay on you and won't move. Kalim keeps offering to hire you as his personal cuddle giver/groomer and his parents encourage it since having a human serve under you shows status, not that he cares about that.
My god, Cater would use you for so many videos.
So true for the “won't be vocal about it” thing. Cater is gonna “Haha…unless?” about it. Trey, Ruggie, and Jade would definitely manipulate situations so that you WILL pet them. Ruggie is gonna act like he's doing you a favor so you end up cuddling AND feeding him. Jack is still very much a tsundere about it, will probably take a while to get him to let you and he wants to do it in private.
Rook…another with no shame in accepting it. He’s so used to being the one doing the chasing. It's nice having someone so interested in him and giving him praise. He’s still gotta keep some of his mystery so he won't tell you things but he's gonna ask you all kinds of questions and want to take…terns with touching. He’s as interested in your unique body as you are with his. Take that however you want. 
Leona will straight up tell Ruggie to go get you and bring you to his room for Touching Time. With certain affection, he doesn't want others to see but with other kinds, he wants to show off. Especially if your mates.
Vil is pretty particular about what he allows you to do and how you touch him. Do not mess up his hair or feathers. 
Riddle and Idia. Even if he likes you it will take time for him to be cool it. Both want the affection given to be privet. Riddle actually puts together a Snuggle Scedual and gets pretty pissed if someone or someone interrupts or makes it run late. God forbid it gets canceled. Tbh for both of them it's kind of…cuddle therapy? For Riddle it helps with his anger and feelings of loneliness and the lack of affection he's had to deal with since…well forever.
For Idia…tbh I can't help but picture him as one of those anxiety-riddled dogs that's always shaking. You kind of end up his Emotional Support Human and if he absolutely has to leave his room he's keeping you close and hiding behind you, even if you're smol.
Is Mal awkward? Heck yes, but he is also touch-starved and greedy. You'll be lucky if his dragon instincts don't kick in have him keep you in his nest forever. Once he figures out “Oh…these touches are pretty nice.” He won't be shy about physical affection, even with the others around. Might get territorial and you should prob talk to him about it, so he doesn’t end up…going all dragon about it.
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katiekatdragon27 · 1 month
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Sometimes I forget that Flatland is something I can interpret as my own thing so I'ma do that now.
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Ik these look very inspired by Flatland 2007, cuz they lowkey are, but I just really like how A. Sphere looks I'm sorry (ik the creator is bad but I can't help the brainworms). I wanted to add quirks tho so it's better imo. My versions of the characters if you will. More fun to draw for me and less ugly (on A. Square's end).
They have actual names and design purposes for each thing. Abel's glove to prevent contamination into himself from Flatland, Anthony's glasses and front hairs being makeshift arms, all that has a reason lol.
More explanations of stuff below cut:
The Flatland parts of Flatland the book stay the same mostly. I'm not changing much there. I do want to flesh out Spaceland tho, so I'ma do that cuz I'm super self-indulgent.
In my version of Flatland, I think it would've been fuunier if out of frustration, Abel Spherious ("A Sphere"), grabbed Anthony Squaur ("A Square") out of Flatland and yoinked him out without thinking about the consequences. He realizes shortly after that he probably shouldn't have done that, and it will probably have horrendous consequences later down the line.
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Abel almost kills Anthony on accident, so uh, yikes. But then after bringing him out of Flatland, he decides to work with it, taking him back to his office to do his report on Flatland. He sorta keeps him hidden, but on the last day Anthony gets leaked to the public and the war starts over it rip. However, the span that this is like 3 days, so they get time to chat and develop communication skills n stuff.
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Also, since the gravity is so harsh on Anthony's body, he struggles with talking, only emerging little squeaks. Eventually he's able to use a device to get his thoughts across (probably like a telegraph or smth), so the first day or so of being out of Flatland was a terrible time for communication. Especially when you're so entranced with the idea of seeing your "god's" insides.
Also, Abel just kinda finds Anthony gross in general (cuz he looks like a bacteria) and rejects all advances until Anthony learn to properly yap though morse code. When Anthony writes the Flatland novel, Abel translates it for the world of Spaceland to read and not want to obliterate Flatland. However, that is after his misadventures in the fourth dimension (boo a Heightlander's Escape reference tomato tomato).
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These are some studies of the two. I really like the hairs on Anthony, it makes him so much more expressive. Also, Abel is a slaying king, I love him sm.
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Also, Abel is like the last person who should be in charge of a company. That shit goin down the drain in a week I swear (he came to work high every day his first month of being CEO). I'll probably change the name a lil I just have to cook.
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Also, silly joke of how Anthony and Abel met lol.
Have a good one broskies :)))
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