#but she had decided that she didn't like me and that i needed to go

[svetamillss]

Headcanons: Your life together with them🩵

Featuring: Cho Hyun Ju x Reader(f), Kang Dae Ho x Reader(f), Thanos (Su Bong) x Reader(f), Park Gyeong Seok x Reader(f), Nam Gyu x Reader(f)

Summary: various joint situations when you live with them.

A/N: I apologize for writing a little less often!

🩵🩵🩵

Cho Hyun Ju

Since the girl served in the army and got used to discipline, she will follow it while living with you. She always wakes up much earlier than you, about three hours, where you can sleep until 9-10 a.m., in some cases even before lunch if you get very tired. While you are sleeping, Hyun Ju will do a lot of things around the house (quietly so as not to wake you up), cook you a delicious breakfast and go to wake you up.

She will do it gently and carefully, stroking and kissing you wherever she wants. You sometimes grumble and tell her to lie down and sleep with you in a hug, but it doesn't affect her, so she continues to wake you up with kisses.

- Baby, it's time to get up, your favorite breakfast is already getting cold. And we have a lot to do. - she says gently, kissing your sweet lips.

After a couple of minutes, you still wake up and sleepily go to eat what your Hyunnie has prepared for you with love.

Kang Dae Ho

The guy has a lot of fun living with you. After all, you have new ideas almost every day. Again, recently you wanted to lose weight by the summer, you decided to run every morning. But it wasn't very good alone, so you forced your boyfriend to join you.

- So you want us to wake up at 7 a.m. on our weekend and run down the street when normal people will sleep? - he didn't understand at all why you need it, because you were beautiful.

- And you will run with me for the company! - Dae Ho only had to agree, he didn't want to offend you.

And he knew that soon you would get tired of it and you would throw away this idea, so he decided to be patient.

Thanos (Su Bong)

You and the guy were complete opposites to each other. It was especially seen with household items. Su Bong was dirty. He constantly left his clothes all over the apartment: socks in the corners, clothes were lying on the backs of chairs. You were very unhappy with it, okay, unwashed dishes, but these are extremes.

- Can you stop scattering your clothes? Can't you put the clean ones in the closet, and throw the dirty ones in the laundry. I'm tired of cleaning up after you like a little child. - you mumbled when you removed his clothes from the chair again, while he was sitting on the phone.

- Yes, yes, good. - he said without much attention.

- If this happens again, all your things will fly to the trash!

- I got it, just don't be angry, my baby. - he put down the phone and started cleaning everything, then you rewarded him with a kiss.

But he won't be able to get used to it, so he'll still leave his things, but he's ready to clean up for your extra kisses.

Park Gyeong Seok

The three of you lived in a small apartment: you, your future husband and his daughter Na Yeon. Since the girl was undergoing treatment, she often stayed at home. But you and the man didn't want her to be alone, so you decided to take a housework and sit with Na Yeon.

You and the girl played a lot of her favorite games. She is very attached to you and even calls you mom.

When a man comes home from work, the girl asks him to join you and he, though tired, agrees, because he can't refuse his beloved girls.

Sometimes you and the girl like to mock him, so you can make up him with different makeup.

- Dad now a real princess! - said Na Yeon when she painted Gyeong Seok with children's cosmetics, you just laughed at this whole situation and at the face of a man who was both grumpy and smiling.

Nam Gyu

The guy loves cats very much, but since you both work a lot, you can't get a pet yet, but Gyu really wants to, so he started feeding street cats.

He thinks there's nothing wrong with that, but he was wrong. The cats are used to the fact that the guy began to feed them and they began to come to your house en masse, meowing and asking for food.

When you saw this, you were furious, you immediately called the guy and he had a shy face, he knew what was going on.

- Gyu, do you want to explain to me what's going on with cats here?

- Well... I fed them a little, it looks like they got used to it.. - you looked at him with an evil face, although you understood that he not on purpose.

- Now you will clean up after them, so that there is not a single shit from them! - you said and entered the house, he only agreed with you.

After this situation, the guy began to feed these pets less often, and you began to think that maybe you would give Nam Gyu a kitten.

🩵🩵🩵

[gallusrostromegalus]

AEIWAM How does the chain of command work? What are the seated officers *supposed* to be doing? What's the lowest rank? What is the least yell-able rank? Which job looks silly on paper but is actually really load bearing? Anything you want an excuse to rant about on this topic?

Yeah ok I'll ramble:

So there's how the Divisions are SUPPOSED to work:

Every division of the Gotei-13 consists of exactly 200 members, 20 of which are seated officers. The top two positions are the "Captain" and "Lieutenant".

The Captain (#1) is in charge of EVERYTHING but directly in charge of seated officers 2-10

The Lieutenant (#2) is in charge of seated officers 11-20

Officers 20-11 are usually in charge of the division's regular/maintenance functions, officers 9-3 are in charge of whatever special projects are going on

Seated officers 3-20 each then have 9 of the remaining 180 rank-and-file shinigami assigned to them to carry out whatever orders

Captains can have Duplicate Officers of the same rank (Shunsui's Co-lieutenants or Ukitake's teo 3rd seats), but they are not allowed to have more than 20 seated officers total (there is no 8th or 13th 20th seat)

...And then there's how the divisions *actually* work.

First of all, almost nobody actually sticks to the "Exactly 200 People Per Division" rule. The rule was put in by the Central 46 to prevent the Gotei-13 from growing too large and becoming a military force that could unbalance the government.

The ones who do stick to it currently are:

Yamamoto (Sticking to the rules out of fear of the C46)

Komamura (But doing other chicanery mentioned below)

Zaraki (AT THE ABSOLUTE LIMIT OF HIS ATTENTION SPAN)

Some Captains are a bit up shit creek in that their division is in charge of WAY MORE SHIT THAN 200 PEOPLE CAN ACTUALLY DO.

Unohana got really creative about what counted as a "Consultant" or "Assistant" or "Temporary Hire" until she finally had enough damn people to actually run the seireitei's primary shinigami and civilian hospital, several major civil services (until the Ninth took over the Archives under Tousen and the Eleventh took over Sanitation under Zaraki).

Soi Fon has done something similar by stretching the definition of things she's "In Charge Of". Parts of the Onmitsukido, Shihouin clan retainers, Mercenaries etc.

Mayuri decided to stretch the definition of what counted as "People".

More commonly, captains will have a handful of people they pay under the table to help with tasks someone needs to do but doesn't need a Shinigami- errand-runners, tech support etc.

Rose and Byakuya have like, six extra people a piece, mostly for small tasks that otherwise gum up the works or that are major QoL improvements for the squad. Tea ladies, messengers, someone who bakes snacks and tidies the common areas. Housekeeping.

Tousen employs like 15-20 extra people in the 9th because they were already on the verge of becoming a substitute social service when he took over. He would have hired more but Aizen didn't want questions. Ukitake and Shunsui employ a similar number of off-the-books division members- Ukitake sort of absorbed the Kido corps after Tessai vanished and Shunsui has a Whole Lotta Finance Consultants.

MATSUMOTO has like. 50 extra people on the books. QOL improvements, minor task monkeys, couple of recently deceased consultants with the latest in new tech and organizational science… Okay, and a bunch of people she hired basically to help them out. Old lady Yamazaki, the two local street bums (you notice how nothing EVER gets stolen or vandalized at the tenth?), a bunch of academy kids from the shitstain districts of the rukongai who can't afford board I mean really I found Daisuke sleeping in with the training dummies did you want me to LEAVE him there?

...And then some people are running divisions of LESS than 200 people.

Shinji keeps forgetting to hire more people to replace people who retired.

Gin never actually figured out HOW to hire new people.

On the Far Opposite end of this nonsense is Komamura, who has gotten the 7th into such a well-oiled and efficient machine that he doesn't actually NEED all 200 members, so he keeps his additional staff on the actual payroll via clever use of Expense Reports.

Furthermore, what any given seated officer is actually in charge of varies wildly not only by Division but also by individual captains.

Unohana puts all her seated officers in charge of specific branches of medicine (anesthesiology, endrocinology, toxicology, etc.) and as far as she's concerned 3-20 are all the same rank.

Shunsui put himself and his lieutenants in charge of the 8th's regular functions (Finance) so he could deploy his 19 other officers to investigate all the fucking white-collar crime he got saddled with managing.

It's not clear if Zaraki ever actually assigned ranks to officers 4-20. He's captain, Ikkaku is is right hand, Yumichika is effectively-his co-lieutenant-but-wanted-the number-3 spot and there is a pack of 17 other guys that have men assigned to them but *what number seated officer they actually are* is a division secret. Partly because, like his favorite captain, every officer that is not his lieutenant is the same rank as far as Zaraki is concerned, and partly because if some district daimyo or minor noble demands to see the highest-ranked available officer available for their trifling matter, whoever he sends is now his "Fourth Seat". He's had as many as a dozen "Fourth Seat" Officers deployed at once!

The Tenth Division under captain Shiba always had the same teams- once you were assigned to a seated officer, the only way to change your coworkers was to get promoted. Under Captain Matsumoto, your co-workers change every week. Some seated officers have as many as 30 people assigned to them, some as little as two, and what officer you're working under changes as needed.

Lieutenant is probably the worst job in the Gotei-13.

It's the same as being a seated officer except you're responsible for the other officers instead of rank-and-file, you have to go to way more meetings and if something happens to your captain, you're acting captain until further notice

Does come with a SWEET pay raise tho

As the captains have to answer to Yamamoto, the Lieutenants have to answer to Sasakibe, the Gotei-13's Shadow King.

Sasakibe is a very quiet, almost forgettable man which is hilarious because he holds the positions of Lieutenant-captain of the Gotei-13, Headmaster of Genryusai Academy, and Gotei-13 Liaison to the Central 46. The man is the single most powerful person in soul society after Yamamoto and Yamamoto's Ex-Wife.

The lieutenants see him more often than any captain sees Yamamoto, often when they would least like to. He has a habit of Suddenly Appearing when they're in the middle of something embarassing.

Chojiro Sasakibe refuses to admit that there is even the remotest possibility that Yamamoto will predecease him, so in lieu of having to take over as "Acting Captain-General", Sasakibe regards his primary duty as Lieutenant-Captain to prepare all the lieutenants under him to become future captains. ALL of them, because he can't actually talk Yamamoto out of a poor pick once the man gets an idea into his head. The twelfth division has been a SHAMBLES because he hasn't been able to change Yamamoto's mind about the importance of R&D vs Reliable Provisioning. Maybe Mayuri will poison himself and Lieutenant Kurotsuichi can take over. She's *DELIGHTFULLY* reliable.

If he can't get the captains to train their (possible) replacements, BY THE SOUL KING'S NUTS HE WILL. He's had to do a lot of work with Poor Master Kira, but he thinks the boy still has potential. Miss Hinamori will need a lot of rehabiliation too, and Miss Suragaki needs to be outright domesticated so Captain Hirako is NOT ALLOWED TO DIE any time soon.

Some of them he's quite pleased with, actually. Master Macheriyo has come out quite nicely, but the Omaedas have always been strong stock in Sasakibe's mind. He was very upset when Seinosuke Yamada left to become the chief of medicine at the Seireitei's private hospital but Miss Koetetsu has exceeded his wildest expectations. Miss Kuchiki has not only filled Lieutenant Shiba's shoes, but gone up a size. He is not looking forward to the impending "Three Captains Kuchiki" situation though.

The Eleventh has always been an unmanageable dumpster fire but Lieutenant Madarame and Lieutenant-But-Third-Seat Aseyagawa put him somewhat at ease. With Sasakibe's rotten luck, Zaraki is probably immortal but he has two of the most organized men in soul society to think for him so it'll probably be alright.

The thing he's REALLY looking for is someone to train as HIS OWN replacement- he assumes he will die first, and SOMEONE will need to take care of Yamamoto-Sama in his place. He thought he'd found that in Komamura, possibly his favorite shinigami he's ever trained, but it was not to be. He currently has high hopes for Liuetenant Ise should something happen to him.

It will not. It's going to be MUCH more annoying than that.

The hallmark of a great lieutenant is that they can take over for their captain at the drop of a hat, and most captains regularly put their lieutenants in charge as "Acting Captain" for brief periods to practice.

Unohana puts hers in charge the most often, because she regularly has to go do surgery where she can't be interrupted. Isane Koetetsu is Acting Captain at least twice a week, and once had to take to role on for a solid month!

Ukitake has semi-regularly scheduled "Dead Days" where he's in the office but nobody is allowed to acknowledge him, so he can see how they run and give concrit to his lieutenant. It helps his division cope with his illness, but one time a picture of him asleep with his feet on his desk and a piece of paper taped to his face reading "I'M DEAD, GO ASK RUKIA" escaped the context of the 13th and there was Bedlam about it.

Zaraki has either never or always had Ikkaku in the position of "Acting Captain" and neither of them will clarify that situation.

Tousen didn't *intentionally* put Shuuhei in charge- he tried to avoid it to keep his beloved lieutenant out of Aizen's Circle Of Influence, but Shuuhei is like a border collie in that if he is not Being Helpful RIGHT NOW HE WILL EXPLODE AND DIE, and so, like a border collie, Shuuhei kept inventing jobs for himself and taking over any random task that was not immediately explicitly someone's job so when Tousen got abducted Shuuhei was doing like 60% of the work already.

Gin NEVER put Izuru in the role of "Acting Captain", he just foisted all his responsibilities onto the boy with none of the authority which has made him a nervous wreck. Captain Otoribashi, on the other hand, casually decided "I need the day off to go see a preformance of Bizet in the 3rd district, Izuru you're captain until i get back, BYE~!" and was only stopped from breezing out the door by Izuru's immediate scream of panic. They're working on it.

[vanillarosekiss]

♡ p!link ♡

can you tell i'm really craving him right now?

warnings: smut, bsfdad!simon x reader, size kink if you read into it, age gaps, not considered very ethical to fuck your bsf's dad but... :b

He was so hot. Every time you came round your best friend's house, because her dad was so accompanying, you could never take your eyes off him. You'd often go home and touch yourself to the little interactions you'd had with him the previous day, which were all innocent of course. He was just so much bigger than you, so strong, and he was extremely good looking for a guy his age. A small part of you was self conscious of the fact it was deemed morally wrong to think of him that way, you felt like it was a crime against your best friend. Although.. it wasn't like anything was going to actually happen, right?

Another Saturday night rolled around and you arrived at their house, not bothering to knock before you went inside because they were used to you coming over so much; you even knew where the spare key was.

It got quite late fast, and after a long girly talk of boys, updating each other on love life's and doing face masks whilst eating a takeaway, you got changed into your pyjamas. You both slept in her room, usually watching shitty, low-budget romcoms before drifting off into a drowsy sleep, but tonight you were restless. You decided to wait until she was asleep, and got out of bed, careful not to make too much noise.

Going downstairs to the kitchen to get a glass of water, you made the awful mistake of accidentally bumping into her dad. Simon. The sheer size of him made it almost impossible for you to not lose your balance, and he grabbed your shoulders so that you wouldn't fall over.

"Are you ok? Sorry, I didn't see you" he said calmly, checking you were alright.

You blushed a little, and nodded without saying anything. If it wasn't obvious that you had a thing for him before, it definitely was now. He was bound to notice soon anyways, your night clothes becoming slightly more revealing each week.

Simon glanced down, noticing how much of your cleavage was on display, for him. He kept his hands on your shoulders, one hand toying with the light pink elastic strap of your pyjama top.

"You don't have anything else to wear?" he asked, in what you thought was a judgemental tone.

"I- No I do, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.. like.." you rambled and trailed off, flushed with embarrassment.

"M'not complaining, love, don't worry your pretty head" he said reassuringly, before moving behind you and gently leading you into his room to the ensuite bathroom, lower hand grazing your back lightly.

"What are you-" you began, turning but only to be met with a view of his chest.

"You want this, yeah? I'm not stupid, I can tell when a pretty thing like you wants something."

You hesitated, before giving a small, unsure nod.

"Gonna need more than that, sweeth'art."

"Yes. Please."

"Good girl." he praised, before locking the door and stripping you down completely naked for him, making you turn and admiring your body.

"So pretty. Wanted this for so long, haven't you?"

You were still shy, and stood not really knowing what to do with your hands.. hell, with your entire body.

He took you carefully and got you down on your knees, before pulling his already leaking cock from his boxers. It was big, too big. It would never fit. He could immediately see the panic in your eyes, and tried to calm you down.

"S'alright, baby. I'll go gentle on you, I promise. You tell me if it hurts too much, or you get uncomfortable, okay?"

You nod, swallowing a little anxiously.

The next thing you know, you were swallowing his cock, as he guided your head down carefully. His hands caressed your hair, in an almost soothing way, so as to make you feel safe with him. You were definitely not as anxious anymore. Just took a little praise and soft guidance from Simon.

He pulled you back before he came, making you sit on his thighs before plunging into your already soaking core, stretching you out in ways you never imagined you could be. It was hard to take at first, but it quickly became pleasurable, him using you like a little toy. Thrusting you up and down on his large cock, hands grabbing at your waist and squeezing you as he hit your g-spot over and over again.

"God you feel amazing." he groaned, thrusting fastening at the sound of your preciously soft moans. He adored how little and delicate you were, so pliable in his hands.

It was safe to say that the next day, his looks and subtle lingering touches were no longer innocent. You were his pretty little secret, and unless you no longer wanted him, it would stay that way.

Tag list: @punkkture @soapisgod @slut-lmao @sebastianstans-slut @ilikeoldmen @g1rlfa1lure0 @queenoflaflames @tmartin0918 @kkloubee @goldie-221 @patricksoulmate @writingandsins @mxnee777 @caro-line19  @decaffeinateddelusionbread @poohkie90 @lovidovii @xoxoxoaspen @i-ship-stony-and-superfamily @simonrileysdarling

[arc-misadventures]

Friends AU side story: How does Jaune react to a Whit thanking him for the advice for his date with Fiona, and how are the Happy Huntresses dealing with a bubbly Fiona bragging about her date with Whit?

The New Hot Couple

Jaune was at the, Schnee Manor, he was waiting on, Whitely to come by to check on his progress on his new exercise regimes. But, he was tacking a while so, he decided to do some warmups by doing some simple pushups.

Jaune: One... Two... Three... Four... Fi...?

Whitely: Jaune!

Jaune: Whit, you're late, where were you? Ten... Eleven...

Whitely: Oh, sorry... I-I was just talking with, Fio.

Jaune: Oh? Fifteen... Fio? Sixteen... You mean, Fiona right? Seventeen...

Whitely: Yeah, I meant, Fiona. She calls me, Whit, so I call her, Fio. I thought she would be upset when I called her that, but she really likes it when I called her that!

Jaune: Forty... Pet names? Forty one... You better be careful, Whit. Forty two... You may be rushing into things, you don't want to jump down a hill only to realize you've jumped down into a gorge now do you? Forty eight...

Whitely: We're being slow. We don't want to rush things, sure we're at second base, but we're no where close to going to third base.

Jaune: Fifty...?! T-Third base? Whitely, you two have only gone on two dates, and you've already kissed her?!

Whitely: W-W-What!? We haven't kissed?! We haven't even held hands yet either!

Jaune: You haven't...?! Haa... Oh gods, Whitely... If you two haven't kissed yet that means your not even at first base!

Whitely: Wait, kissing is first base?

Jaune: Yes. Fifty two...

Whitely: T-Then what's third base?

Jaune: Fifty three... Second base is physical touching... Fifty four... Typically above the waist. Fifty five... Third base is physical touching, only this time it is below the waist. Fifty seven...

Whitely: B-Below the waist?!

Jaune: Or, more commonly know as getting laid. Fifty nine...

Whitely: Laid? What does that even mean...?!

Jaune: Sex, Whitely. Sixty one... Third base means you had sex. Sixty two...

Whitely: S-S-S-SEX?! W-We even haven't held hands yet?! Let alone kissed?! W-We're no where even close to having sex!?

Jaune: Sixty four... That's obvious, ya blushing virgin. Sixty five...

: SEX?! Whitely, what the hell are you talking about?!

Whitely: Ahh, it's nothing!

: Jaune! What is he talking about?!

Jaune face was mostly stuck on watching the ground as he was doing his push ups, but he didn't need to look up, and see who was emanating that cold icy rage.

Jaune: Seventy two... You better tell her, Whit. Seventy three... It won't hurt as much if you tell her yourself then it will if, Weiss finds out by accident. Seventy six...

Whitely: Okay... W-Weiss...?

Weiss: Yes?

Whitely: I... I have a... it's only been two dates... Does this count as having a girlfriend?

Weiss: A girlfriend?!

Jaune: Eighty... Ask her first if you're her boyfriend. Then you can say she's you're girlfriend. Eighty two... After the third date... Eighty three...

Weiss: Who is this 'girlfriend' you're talking about?

Whitely: Her name is, Fiona Thyme she's a sheep faunas, a huntress, a Happy Huntress actually, and she's she's really... She's really cute...

Weiss: What?! This is bullshit!

Whitely: What's bullshit about it?! I'm dating a sheep faunas, what's wrong with that?

Weiss: It's bullshit because my brother has a girlfriend, and my sister has a boyfriend, and I got nothing?!

Jaune: One hundred... Technically, Winter, and I aren't dating... One hundred, and one... I'm not sure what we are honestly. One hundred, and two...

Weiss: It still don't change the fact, they've had more action than than I've had!

Jaune: That's on you, but you don't hang out with other people to ask out on dates. Unless your secretly gay for, Ruby, or something. One hundred, and seven...

Weiss: Preposterous! I have no interest in the female form, much less, Ruby's! Although... Yang's on the other hand...?

Whitely: She's just a girl I have a crush on who I've asked out on a couple of dates. We actually have another date today this afternoon.

Weiss: You do?!

Jaune: You have another date? Then start your exercises! You need to work on building some muscles you twig! One hundred, and twenty five... And, count off out loud so I can here you!

Whitely: On it! O-One...

Weiss: ...

Whitely: T-Two...

Weiss: ...

Whitely: T-T-Three...?!

Weiss: Well, considering he never had to do any hard labour before... this is to be expected.

Jaune: Yeah, he's improved at least. One hundred, and thirty... He's capable of doing a pushup, before that... yeah. Hopefully he'll be something like me one day... One hundred, and thirty one... Granted I just keep upping the number of pushups I do because It's so easy. One hundred, and thirty...?!

: If it's so easy for you, then allow me to give you a challenge~!

Jaune: Huw? What are you planning to... GAH?!

Jaune grunted out in surprise as he felt a sudden weight upon on his back. He almost buckled, and fell when this sudden weight was placed upon him. He turned his head, and out of the corner of his eyes, and he saw what this sudden weight upon his back was, or more accurately: Who.

Jaune: What the...?! Winter, what are you doing?!

Winter: Giving you a challenged: Now start counting, Specialist Arc.

Jaune: Grr...! Yes, Ma'am! One... Two... Three... Four... Five... Six...

Whitely: Is this flirting?

Weiss: It's certainly looks like flirting... or, at least some kind of flirting?

Whitely: Do you think I could do this one day?

Weiss: Try to get at least one proper push up done, before you plan on picking up a girl, little brother.

Whitely: What? I could totally do it!

Weiss: Not unless you're as buff as, Jaune is. I mean look at him! He's doing push ups without sister on his back, and he's barely breaking a sweat!

Winter: What?! Are you taking this easy, Specialist Arc?!

Jaune: Twenty... No, Ma'am! Twenty one... Twenty two...

Winter: Then why isn't this more of a struggle for you, Specialist Arc?!

Jaune: Because, Ma'am. Twenty four... My grandfather told me that to be a, Huntsmen is to hold up the weight of the world on you! Twenty five... It's just...

Jaune turned his head to smile at, Winter.

Jaune: He never told me that the world would be so light~!

Winter: Eeep?!

A fierce blush spread across her face as she reeled back in shock.

Winter: W-Where do you get off saying something like that?!

Winter smacked, Jaune's head, startling him, and causing him to loose his balance, and drop down on his face.

Jaune: GAH?!

(Smash!)

Winter: Oh no?! Jaune?!

Whitely: Oh? That was smooth! I should remember that line...

Weiss: What?! Winter gets that kind of pick up line?! Where was this when he was flirting with me back in, Beacon?! This is totally unfair!

~~~

Back at the, Happy Huntresses 'secret' base a trio of, Huntresses watched as their resident faunas, a sheep faunas named, Fiona Thyme humming a too as she skipped about with a smile across her face.

RJM: ...

Fiona: Hmm~! Hmm~! Hmm~! Hm-Hmm~!

May: Sus?

Joanna: Sus.

May: Sus.

Robyn: Very sus.

The trio of huntresses walk towards their resident faunas, and fanned out, around her coming in from three separate angles of attack.

Fiona: Hmm~! Hmm~! Hmm...? Oh! Hey guys~! What's... what's up...?

The sheep faunas, lived up to their nature as she cowered under the gaze of three angry wolves staring down the defenseless little lamb.

Fiona: G-G-Guys...? W-W-What's wrong...?

May: She's happy...

Robyn: Too happy...

Fiona: Uhh...

Joanna: It reminds me of when, Robyn was happy...

May: Happy... Just as happy when, Jaune kissed her...

Joanna: But, even more so...

Fiona: Uhh...?

Robyn: That means she is happy because of something romantic...

May: Something romantic with that, Schnee boy.

Fiona: Uhh...?!

Joanna: But, the question remains then... Why is she so happy?

Robyn: A date...

May: Hmm?

Robyn: She's so happy, because she has a date~!

Fiona: UHHHHHHH?!

RJM: Tell what's going on!

Fiona: EEP?! I have a date! I have a date with, Whitely later today!

Robyn: I knew it!

May: She has a date?!

Joanna: Okay, lady spill the beans!

Fiona: H-He asked me on a date, a-and we're going to the carnival being held in, Unity Square! He's never been to a carnival before, s-so he asked me to go on a date with him to the carnival! A-And, I haven't gone to one in years, so I'm looking forward to this date with, Whitely!

Joanna: Okay... second question: Why, Whitely Schnee?

Fiona: Huw?

Robyn: Yeah, that's a good question. I still don't understand why your so... enamored with a, Schnee?

Fiona: Whitely! His name is Whitely!

May: She's defending him, and with such vitrail at that?

Joanna: She's fallen for him hard~!

Robyn: But, why? I mean... Whitely Schnee is the son of that bastard, Jacques Schnee? Why are you so interested in him?

Fiona: He may be, Jacques Schnee's son, but he is not his father! He may have been influenced by his father at first, but he is growing as a person, and is a kind, caring person. He wants to know what is afflicting the people of, Mantle so he, and his mother can help them. The SDC is getting ride of all the corruption it once had, and are now working to better help the people. And, Whitely is the heir apparent to the, SDC so he is making, Mantle, and Atlas a better place!

Fiona: He's kind, sweet, and a caring person! Sure I may be a bit older than him... but, he is more mature for his age! And, he's really cute little skinny twig~! I like, Whitely for who he is, not what he stands for! And, as angry as you, and others may be, I am going to keep dating him for as long as I wanted to!

Fiona: Besides... It's kinda nice to know that the worlds enemy of all the faunas son is dating a faunas... Honestly... I find that kinda hot~!

RJM: ...

Robyn: Fuck, she's got it bad...

Fiona: Huw?

Joanna: You got it bad for him girl~!

May: And, it is kinda hot that the enemy of all faunas son is dating one.

Robyn: Can you imagine it, the two of them get married, and the next head of the SDC is a faunas! Talking about pissing all over, Jacques' legacy!

Joanna: Oh gods that would be the peak of petty revenge!

May: The bastard would be rolling in his grave!

Fiona: A faunas as the head of the, SDC...? Having, Whitely's baby...? W-We're a little young for that guys!

May: Uhh, what?

Fiona: It's a little too fast for that too! I mean... I haven't held his hand yet, we haven't had our first kiss yet?! And, your recommend that I should have his babies?!

Joanna: N-No, Fiona! We're just saying how funny it would be if a faunas became the next head of the, SDC!

Fiona: But, Whitely is so cute~! Having a little mini version of him, with sheep ears... Oh, that would be so adorable~!

Fiona cupped her cheeks as a blush spread across her face as her mind ran wild with adorable little fantasies. Leaving the rest of the members of the, Happy Huntresses to look on in utter bewilderment.

RMJ: ...

May: Oh shit... she's gone baby crazy...

Joanna: Way to go, Robyn.

Robyn: Wha? Why are you blaming me?!

May: You are the one who lost it when you learned, Jaune was a father!

Robyn: N-No I did not.

Joanna: You two got into a heated debate with her on who would get his next kid!

Robyn: You heard that?!

May: EVERYONE DID?!

Robyn: Oh... Ohh shit...

///

I've done it, @lar-mx took a while, but I made a post with this photo! I even edited so his eyes would be blue!

Side note: What would be a good ship name for, Whitely x Fiona?

[stoneexo]

do you picture me, like i picture you?

pairing: sevika x fem reader smut contains: nsfw content!!, degradation, praise, dirty talk, teasing, mocking, cursing (obviously), injuries, bleeding, smoking, drinking, fingering, cunnilingus, tribbing/grinding, mutual pining! premise: on a rainy night after years as silco's top accountant, a knock at your door produces an injured sevika in need of your help. that begs the question— why is she here, why you? as the night goes on, and sevika reveals her true intentions behind coming to see you, you finally realize that the feelings you've had for years might've been reciprocated for longer than you'd think. word count: 7.8k (wtf) author's note: here it is! my first fic! hope you guys like it, and i'm looking forward to feedback! heavily inspired at points by chappel roan's song 'picture you', noticed a particular lack of sweet sevika fics where she isn't just super dom, so this is a very self-indulgent fic lol. god i love me good ol' lesbian PINING!

candlelight kisses your face and dances up the walls of your dingy studio apartment, as well as the papers you hold out in front of you. despite the late hour and strained eyes, you still scanned the numbers in front of you, debts, copying the important ones onto a separate fresh piece of paper to your right. having been silco's main accountant (and only accountant for many years until recently), the work was near never-ending. after all, half of the undercity owed him in some way shape or form. however, with the expansion of his criminal enterprise, his 'financial department', if you could even call it that, had grown. there were others to deal with more minor debts, and your main job was to prioritize those who owed more significant amounts- and decide whose debts had to be collected immediately. you are sifting quietly through papers including just that at the moment, silverroot smoke in your hand and a dirty ashtray at your side, at your small two-person table that's pressed against the wall of your tiny apartment. when a loud knocking (more of a banging) comes from your front door, cutting through the silence.

you nearly jump at the intrusion, looking up to process the noise when it came again in a quick, desperate succession. you shoot up, making your way to the door, both concern and fear washing over you; it was past midnight, who could possibly be here this late? you made sure to grab the metal pipe leaning up against the foot of your bed- this time of night, it was more likely to be a robbery than anyone you actually knew. with your tiny kitchen at the back of the studio, your large bed against one wall, and your table and bathroom entrance on the other, it was no more than a couple of feet to your front door. 

however, as you unlocked the door and cracked it open, keeping your deadbolt in place, you felt a chill run down your spine and your eyes met sevika's, pressed up against your doorframe with blood soaking her hands. she didn't need to say a word, barely opening her mouth before you're shutting the door to undo the deadbolt, pulling her inside and relocking the door behind her.

as you lock up, you hear her stumble behind you, turning to find her sat at the foot of your bed on the floor, clutching her bloody stomach. "what the hell is going on?!" you blurt out, your concern evident as you made your way across to her. she glance at the metal pipe, still in your hand. following her gaze in confusion and noticed you were still clutching the deadly weapon before dropping it, kicking it almost sheepishly behind you, refocusing on her. "sorry, can't be too safe." you remark as you knelt down in front of sevika, and she allows you to push her hands aside with a wince to get a better look. 

you and sevika had worked closely for nearly a decade- after all, she was the one who collected silco's debts. you told her the who, what, and where. and while initially the two of you had butted heads often, things had changed for the better over the past two or so years.  since the first time you laid eyes on sevika, to be honest, lighting up a cigar in the back of the last drop, the light emphasizing the muscles along her arm in just the right way- she had stirred something deep inside you. looking up at you like she was ready to kill you as you introduced yourself, her gaze tracing up are down like she would chew you up at spit you out, reading you as a prissy little know-it-all all despite your polite manner. and she wasn't entirely wrong, with your parents having been well-off topsiders who managed to gamble it all away right around your 17th birthday. but despite that, you had been resilient, managing to sell your mind rather than your body and putting your skill for mathematics to use for various loan sharks and casino barons until silco came seeking your services around your 28th. and despite years of successful and faithful service to silco, and being practically as dedicated to him as sevika, she still seemed to see you as nothing but a spoiled topsider who would run back to the life if given the chance.

however, after about 7 years of working together, an unsuccessful high-value collection in the sump that you had tagged along for to ensure its completion was what finally brought you two closer. mainly because she had saved your ass from nearly getting stabbed by the person you were negotiating with before beating them into a bloody pulp and spitting on them, encouraging you to do the same (you did). 

you thanked her, which she had never heard come out of your mouth before, and expressed how you appreciated not only her muscle, but her expertise in reading situations that you seemed to lack, she had to finally admit to herself that she may have misjudged you. from then on, things worked more smoothly between the two of you, with her actually collecting debts and not just beating people senseless when she had a bad day as she used to (which ultimately made your job harder- people can't work to pay debts with broken legs). and you made sure to express your appreciation for her consideration. 

you even shared a couple of drinks after successful collections here and there at the last drop if the score was big enough, with her walking you home most times to ensure your safety. after all, even though you could hold your own(which she assured you constantly she knew), "can't take the risk of silco's best accountant getting mugged and stabbed on her way back from the job." she'd insist. and you didn't mind in the slightest the extra time spent with her. once or twice you had considered inviting her in as she stood at your door, wishing you a good night, waiting for you to be locked up and safe before going about her evening. but you had decided against it, after all, while you might've found her secretly attractive for years, she had only just started to tolerate you.

but all that begged the question; why was she here now? you were coworkers, and closer than most in the undercity, sure. but you had never been that close, despite the odd shared drinks and your more private desires. surely she could've gone elsewhere? "here, up on the bed." you order, pulling yourself out of your thoughts as you hook your arms under sevika's to help her up as she half-stands and scoots back from the floor to the bed. "i'm bleeding everywhere, your sheets-" she started, face twisting in pain as she settled. "they're old anyways." you insist, giving the wound one last look over, trying to asses the damage. you cheeks flush even more when you notice a happy trail crawling up her stomach from out of her pants, kissing her stomach and meeting her abs. you had to remind yourself yo be appropriate as you refocused on her wound. 

sevika's heart is already racing at a mile per minute as your hand leaves her stomach and her own, large, flesh one covers the oozing wound. it beats impossibly faster, however, when you reach between her legs under your bed and fish out your medical supplies, before you pull out the white plastic container, her cheeks flushed with pain. "I'll ask you again- what is going on?" you reiterate as you fish out a needle, thread, gauze and rubbing alcohol. 

"one of smeech's idiot grunts had a bad run gambling with me. thought he could get out of it by pulling a fast one with some of his buddies—" she scoffed, wincing with pain as you pressed an alcohol-soaked wad of gauze to the gaping stab wound, jumping up to grab something from your kitchen as sevika kept her eyes trained on you. "again, he's a fuckin' idiot. jus' made me want to collect more," she growled out, watching as you produced a bottle of some nasty-looking brown liquor, hastily making your way back over to her "i managed to beat three out of four's skulls in, but the last one got a good stab in on me before he ran off."

"shit.." you respond frankly, passing the liquor to her and taking over on the gauze, gently brushing her hand aside as you use the clean side you wipe away what blood is left at the wound. "well, once we're done let me know how much he made off with," you sigh at the thought of more paperwork "i'll add it to the docket."

"drink, by the way. this is going to hurt." you remarked, looking over the wound before holding the gauze in place, the needle cradled in between your front teeth as you use your spare hand to begin to thread it. sevika feels hot each time you touch her, unbearably so. and as she watches you use your mouth to hold the needle and your hand expertly threads it— fuck, she can feel her stomach pool up with something slick that she knows isn't blood. yeah, she needs to drink before she does something stupid, she decides, stuffing the bottle in her mouth and slugging back as much as she can before coughing. 

the liquor is definitely old, and definitely nasty. it takes everything in her not to break the bottle with the sheer force of her metal hand as she holds it in a death vice looking down at you. you hold the rag back in place and you gesture for her to take over, sevika obliges stiffly with her free hand. trying to control her racing mind.

you get up one last time as you tie the thread off at the end, still holding the needle in your mouth as you pop into your kitchen again, grabbing a few more candles and a lighter, bringing them back over to sevika's hunched-over form and lighting them as you do so. you set them down around you and grab a pillow from the bed beside her as you do so, setting it on the floor before her before kneeling on it. "you're seriously gonna have to stay still 'vika, lights have been out all night so I don't have the best visual with all this blood." you inform her, gently taking over with the rag as you brush her hand aside, her fingers radiating a deep heat.

she feels sick as you gently pat her down once more, her stomach twisting dangerously as she gazes down at you in front of her. it was a dirty sight she had dreamed of for god knows how long; there you were, in between her legs on your knees, the candlelight dripping off you and kissing every curve as her eyes wandered all over. and good lord, your hair, normally tied up, danced down your shoulders. the strap of your tank top hung off your shoulder comfortably, and the shorts you were wearing rode up your thighs just right— and sevika nearly spat out her last mouthful of liquor on you as you hit a sore spot, wincing away from your touch as you retreated from her carefully.

"sorry," you murmured out, gesturing for her to come back as you shifted nervously "next is the fun part though." she came back to you and looked down at her bottle as you readied yourself, taking note of it's lack of contents— jeez, had she really downed that much that quickly? "happen to have anything else before we start?" she questioned, setting it to the side and looking back down at you, doing her best to avoid eye contact. 

you thought momentarily before reaching under your bed once again, fishing around (much to sevika's embarrassment) before pulling out another bottle of clear liquor this time. she raised a brow as you passed it to her and you scoffed, "what?". 

"nothin, jus' never took you for the drinking type." sevika replied and she uncorked the, once again, half-drunk bottle, "i mean, half the time the guys gotta twist your arm to stay for drinks at the last drop."

you shrugged as you looked her wound over one last time, feeling only a little sick as you watched the blood ooze out. "helps with sleep." you commented with only a hint of embarrassment, readying yourself against her abdomen. even as you pressed against sevika, her solid form held true, and you felt your cheeks grow hot as it registered you were basically pressed against her crotch as well due to the angle. sevika felt warm too, all over, and she prayed to everything there was that you couldn't feel the pool of wetness growing in her pants as you shifted against her and your fingertips pressed against her sensitive skin, trying to get a better angle before the first stitch.

bringing yourself back as sevika sipped her liquor, you tried to swallow your nerves as you checked in one last time, looking up at her for assurance. as she nodded, you pressed in with the first stitch, fighting the urge to wince as you pressed onwards. sevkia gritted her teeth and fought the urge to jerk away and throw up. sure, she was a bit of a masochist, but the feeling of metal and thread moving through her skin would never be pleasant.

she let out a pained groan, stuffing the bottle in her mouth to keep quiet as you kept on. if she was trying to work you up it would be working, you thought. you feel dizzy this close to her. the best you had gotten up till now as her pulling you pack before you got punched in the face by a particularly upset client, or a hand hovering just off the small of your back as you went up stairs after one too many drinks at the last drop; a polite assurance to accompany your unsure steps. and you had been desperate for something more for a while, a long while. 

the sounds leaving her mouth and shifting against you made your stomach hot and heavy, deciding to talk to try and distract your wandering mind. "sorry if the stitching isn't the prettiest, 'm outta practice." you murmur, nearly halfway done already as you tried to limit the pain. it was a little sloppy, but it held tight, with minimal blood seeping through the sections you had finished with. 

" 's all good doll," she grunted out, looking down at your work before quickly looking away; the sight of you bent over her was something she was not ready for when her head was this heavy with liquor, "not much pretty down there to begin with." she finished off with a chuckle, deciding to pause on the liquor for a moment as it dipped low yet again. she closed her eyes, leaning her head back as she tried to focus on something other than the pain in her abdomen or the heat churning in her stomach. working your way along her wound as delicately as possible, you felt yourself sink deeper into the mood that seemed to have sparked between you two.

'doll'. you felt like a giddy teenager the way your chest fluttered as you shook your head and scoffed lightheartedly in disagreement. sevika cracked an eye open in response, her lips curling up in a slight smirk as she looked down at you. "oh? disagree?" she questioned, seeming almost amused as she shifted to lean back on her arms teasingly despite the pain, watching as you lurched forward to follow, practically laying in her lap now as you struggled to hold the needle up so as to not stab her.

your heart leaped with the jump in intimacy— here was sevika, who before was too disgusted to touch you for the first 7 years, and now seemingly too respectful (afraid?); and now, she was instead trying to coax you into her lap like one of her brothel whores. as far as you knew, despite your attraction, you had always been discreet and kept things professional. and sevika, more importantly, had never showed an ounce of interest beyond the general "i need to make sure you don't die and I don't completely hate you."

 for a moment, your mind ran circles around the sudden interest— was this serious? was it a test? if it wasn't, how long had she been interested, and how? were you nothing more than a lay, or—

as sevkia let out another small grunt of pain, you pulled yourself again from your momentary distraction, choosing to shift up in a rather cocky manner. moving up to straddle her as the brown-skinned woman nearly choked at the image of you on top of her, candlelight creating a halo behind your hair and kissing your lips.

the muscular woman struggled not to drool and to keep her free hand at her side, nearly tearing a hole in your sheets as she gripped them rightly (in what you assumed was a pain). as you neared the end of the once gaping wound, you glanced down at sevika, surprised to see her watching your hands with an intense, hungry gaze, her face flush and sweat dripping down her forehead as the sound of small rips and tears began to emanate from your sheets where she grabbed at them. you could see she was biting her lip, but not in a pained way, and christ, as you put in the final stitch you swore you could hear her moan. a sudden sense of power washed over you as it finally occurred to you just how into this she was, you had her hanging (literally) by a thread here, waiting in a surprisingly respectful manner for you to confirm her suspicions and let her make a move. you almost wondered if she would even care about closing up the wound at this point.

but regardless, as you tied off your stitching, you held the still attached needle in your free hand and reached for the bottle sevika still held, her gaze following you as you drank from it; not making a face as you leaned down to wear the threat connected with her skin and using your teeth with swiftly get rid of the excess, with her both shivering and wincing as your lips brushed against the freshly stitched and bruised flesh. as you sat back up you saw sevika beneath you, the closest to dumbfounded you had ever seen her as her grey eyes stared wide back at you.

"to answer your question," you began, drawing back to grab the discarded bloody rag from the bed beside and slightly behind you (and oh, sevika loved this angle where you twisted just the right way and pulled your shirt up your stomach, she could almost see right up it-), and returned to your position with it in hand, turning the bottle over in it and dousing it in what (little) was left of the alcohol. "yes, i disagree." you made sure to look her in the eye, looking the playful and slightly flirtatious tone as you tried to somehow convey your sincerity and longing through your eyes as her stormy ones held desperately onto yours, "you're pretty sevika. like, really pretty. you're beautiful. everywhere." you spoke softly, nearing a whisper towards the end as embarrassment washed over you. before you could gush any further, you stopped yourself by pressing the alcohol-soaked rag against sevika's stitches. she curled up and sucked in a pained breath, instinctively grabbing onto the rag as you moved your hand, holding it in place and you gently shifted off of the bed and her.

sevika's stomach churned once again in a confusing mix of warmth, endearment, horniness and disappointment as you moved off and away from her, turning her head to follow you as you went into your kitchen to produce yet another bottle of alcohol (she now put two and two together that you definitely drink more than she though, just not at work), this time some kind of white wine. she felt bubbly inside, and a different type of deeper warmth radiated from her gut, something she couldn't quite describe. sevika had been called a lot of things; handsome, hot, even a babe here and there; but no one had ever called her pretty. let alone beautiful. 

you opted to forgo the glass as you popped the cork, trying to look everywhere as you sipped except sevika's figure as she shifted to sit up. you reached out and slid an abandoned ashtray on your counter closer to you, pulling a forgotten sliverroot spliff from it and lighting it up with a nearby box of matches to try and ease your (now shot) nerves. huffing out a large cloud of smoke, you fought back a cough and any more remarks with the lip of the wine bottle in your mouth.

you felt a twist of disappointment in your stomach as it crossed your mind that this would probably just be another fuck for sevika, if she was interested in the bold advance you just made. after all, you knew all about her trips to the brothel- silco paid for them half the time, hell you had to budget them. and the two of you were close enough to have had talks here and there, on 'work trips' (if you could call them that), or late nights going over debt lists. each time it had made you a little nauseous hearing about the other women she had been with, but regardless, you indulged the conversation simply to indulge her and maybe spend a little more time in her presence.

you drew in another hit from your spliff, trying to clear your head as much as possible with it, only looking up at sevika as she got up, still holding the blood-soaked rag in place. you set down the wine bottle and turned to face her, dumping your spliff in the ashtray as you raised the other to scold her. "you need to sit down for at least a minute and let yourself rest, yo—" you barely managed to get a word out as she made her way across the room to you, quickly closing the small space as she reached out for you, pressing you against your fridge with her large frame as she grabbed onto your waist and leaned in, a gasp leaving your lips at the sudden movement. 

sevika stopped just short, looming over you, her forehead pressed against yours as she looked down at you, eyes holding intensely onto yours as the two of you panted respectively. your scolding hand was now pressed against her chest, though it made no attempt to hold her back, and after a long moment, her gaze flickered down to your lips and back— a silent but desperate plea for permission. and the moment you began to move in, she crashed against you, nearly knocking your head against the fridge behind you as her lips finally met yours in a messy and heated clash. she held onto you tightly as she pressed into you further, completely forgetting the rag as her metal arm came to your hip, the cool grip feeling nice against your hot skin as a small moan embarrassingly slipped your lips, her tongue slipping past to mingle with yours. she tasted like cigars, and the cheap liquor you had given her, and something else- maybe cinnamon? before you could figure it out, she pulled back for air, and the hand you held on her chest pushed back ever so slightly as you came to your senses.

she immediately drew away and gave you breathing room, face twisting in concern as she loosened her grip on you. "is everything okay?" she nearly gasped out as she tried to catch her breath, desprate to read your expression "did you not—". you quickly shake your head as you avert your gaze, "nono, i did— i do, i do. i've been wanting to do this." you sighed and looked down as your stomach turned and your head pounded "that's not the problem."

sevika took a small step back from you at the mention of a problem, however, she didn't let her hands fall from your hips quite yet, her stomach dropping in a way she hadn't felt in a long time. she wanted to ask what exactly the problem was, but instead found herself waiting for you to speak in silent concern as she could practically see your head spinning with what you wanted to say.

after a long moment, you let out a regret filled sigh, still unable to look her in the eye. "i can't do this if i'm not the only one sevika," you began, trying not to show how sick you felt talking about this. you were sure you must've been pale as a ghost with the way your stomach flipped. "and i know that not fair to ask of you; you're not that kind of person. but i don't think its worth ruining our personal and professional relationship over something that just... just isn't compatible long term." you hated to say it aloud, but the speech you had told yourself a million times left your lips as sevika struggled to process what you were saying.

"i promise its not that i don't want you, i- gods, 'vika, i want to so fuckin bad, i just can't sleep at night knowing i have to share you. it already wrecked me to try and keep track of financing your trips with silco. and i don't want to try and force you to change—" words spilled like bile out of your mouth as you felt your embarrassment and nerves bubble clearly to the surface, unwilling to look up at sevika, staring at the floor until she interrupted you by dropping to the floor on her knees in front of you, making it near impossible to look away.

you finally met her gaze, sure you had some stupid look on your face. but the one on her face was of sad desperation, her hands sliding down ever so slightly to your thighs as she kneeled like a sinner in front of you. "i haven't been to the brothel— i haven't been with anyone in months," she confessed, something serious and level in her tone as she started her ramble; "i can't even think about another woman. don't want to— can't if i wanted to. i don't know what the fuck you did, but whatever it is, it's working doll. 'cause all i can think of with them is you, y'know that? what you'd look like underneath me instead of them." the confession makes your face and core hot, and your heart palpitate more than it was before.

"when i wake up in the morning till i'm laying in bed alone at night, it's you. i can't fuckin focus, i rush to get to work in the morning just so i can see that pretty little face of yours," though the words are sweet, her tone is incensed, drunk on the thought of you and unable to stop talking, like a madwoman preaching her gospel. "and i go home early cause you never wanna stay late and have a drink with me, and i gotta make sure you get home safe, so i go home when you do. and when i go home? all i can think about is what you're doing, if you're thinking of me— if you're thinking of me the way i'm thinking of you. i need you so badly doll."

your heart is nearly pounding out of your chest at the sight of sevika on her knees in front of you as she finally pauses, her intense stare holding you in place as she watches you bite your bottom lip ever so gently. she hardly cares about how worked up it gets her because she wants— no, needs you to know that she cares right now about something more than that, that she cares about you, you, you. all that's been on her mind for the past year had been you. and here you were in front of her looking so ready and sweet and gentle and perfect. as you begin to look to the ground again, she murmurs your name softly. she pulls your gaze back to her; "i didn't come here cause silco was off with jinx, or cause i was 'outta thread, i came here 'cause i missed you, and i needed to see you, and i knew you'd take care of me," she stated, almost as if it were a matter of fact, separation still clear. "'cause you're a good person. not like me— so i understand if you don't trust a word of what i've said tonight. but i swear to you, i swear, that i care about you."

her ramble is only interrupted again by you reaching out for her, and sevika finds herself dumbfounded by how gentle you're still being with her, cupping her face with your hands and gazing down at her as if she were made of glass. and she absolutely lapped up the soft attention— no one in her life had ever handled her as gently as you were now. she fixed her stare on you like a puppy waiting for permission from it's owner, hanging off of your words as you spoke, "i believe you 'vika." your voice was a near whisper and your throat felt tight as you spoke, stomach dancing with unkillable nerves. 

"i know you, and i believe you," you continue carefully as she cautiously cupped one of your hands with her flesh one, yours seeming impossibly small in comparison, watching intensely as you bit your lip softly once again. "you don't need to beg." you remarked with a soft breathy laugh, finally managing eye contact and finding her grey gaze to be surprisingly warm for once. but just as quickly as the warmth came, it went, with a sudden shift to something dark and primal as her eyes trailed down your body once again, only stopping at the hem of your shorts.

she looked back up with that same, hungry gaze from before as her lips twisted into that cocky smirk you knew too well, the mechanical hand that gripped your thigh squeezing gently as she turned to kiss the hand that she held, still on her cheek. "let me prove it to you darlin," she murmured through your fingertips before pressing another kiss against them, glancing back down at your waistband as she spoke, "please. promise i'll be gentle."

your face felt hot with embarrassment and at the idea of the offer, but you knew immediately that you weren't going to say no even if you wanted to. how could you? with sevika kissing your hand and holding you so gently, looking up at you like she might eat you up if you tell her otherwise? you didn't know what to do with yourself, and the words felt caught in your throat as all you could manage to do was nod timidly, holding her eye contact as her grin wavered momentarily. " 'm gonna need words, doll." she clarifies, turning her head to face you fully once more as she sets her flesh hand on your thigh once again.

"yes, please 'vika." you spout out, nearly wincing at the over-eager tone leaving your lips. did you really sound like that? sevika's satisfied smile returned as her hands began to slowly creep up towards your waistband, her actions methodical and already teasing in manner. "such good manners darlin" she muttered lowly, pulling at your drawstrings as she leaned in closer, pressing careful, delicate kisses against your stomach as she undid the worn string. they were so light they almost tickled, and as soon as the drawstring was undone, her thumbs were hooked into your waistband, pulling down the old grey plaid pair of shorts as you shivered under her cool metal touch. she left them to pool at your ankles as she finally got to examine what lay underneath, leaning back ever so slightly to soak the sight in. it was nothing special to you, a comfortable grey thong with lace at the top, but to sevika, it was the most beautiful sight she'd ever seen. as she tentatively licked her lips, she reached up and began to rub you through the fabric using her flesh hand, moving slowly and gently as she glanced up at you through lidded gaze, gauging your response.

the feeling sent a shock through your system, eyes squeezing shut as you cock your head back and swallow a potential whimper. truth be told, you were dedicated to your work, which left little time for affairs like this. it had been too long since you had been touched like this, and as sevika rubbed circles into your clit through the cotton covering it, your whole body felt electric. "shit doll.." you heard sevika murmur out from beneath you, using her metal hand to spread your legs slightly as she studied the damp and darkening fabric between your legs, "you're really putting on a show for me aren't you?" as she slid the panties down your waist, you cracked your eyes open and nearly came at the sight of her— eyes close, sniffing them. you didn't think there could be a filthier sight than this, as she opened her eyes and smirked wickedly at you, tossing the pair haphazardly behind her as she gripped your hips and spun you around, pressing your front half against the cool metal of your fridge. 

you fought back a shiver as sevkia spread your legs once again, almost bent over against the fridge as you felt her hot breath against your cunt. you couldn't fight back your noises this time as she played with your entrance, gliding two flesh fingers against it as she sucked in a breath and chuckled. "no need to be quiet darlin', 's not like the rent'll go up over one noisy night..." she teased as you whimpered slightly, glancing between the mess that was your pussy, and your face, as you tried to look back at her.

"unless there's been more than one noisy night," she began, her expression darkening as she pressed into your cunt, starting with one thick finger as you cried out uncontrollably "and you brought some other bitch back here, hmm?" you knew it wasn't an interrogation, but as her fingers began to pump in and out of your pussy you couldn't help but rebuke her claims, her voice whiney and hot. "no— no! just you 'vika!" you whimpered out, struggling to get through the sentence as she set a steady and unrelenting pace, holding your weak gaze as you looked over your shoulder at her "only you." 

she raised a questioning brow at you, but deep down, she knew you were telling the truth. she had barely touched you, but as she worked steadily on you, adding another finger cautiously as you cried out. there was already that fucked-out look on your face. still, she felt the need to tease. "really, doll? only me?" she mocked, repeating your words back to you in the same tone as she worked her way deeper into your cunt, setting her metal hand on your hip and pressing you into the cool metal in front of you even more so. "yes 'vika, only you— fuck, i haven't had time for this shit in this months," you gasped out, the confession spilling desperately out of your mouth as you began to lose all composure, embarrassment sinking in "even when i did, i only thought about you sevkia." you whimpered her name out sweetly at the end, like a prayer "i'm all yours."

that sent her over the edge;  sevkia's face and cunt grew hot as she nearly ripped her fingers out of you, loosing any sense of gentleness when she did so. you swore at the loss as she wrapped her mechanical arm around your waist and swept your legs up with her warm one, man-handling you towards the bed before you had much time to process what was happening.

she laid you the bed more carefully than you expected, making sure to set your head back on one of your pillows as she put you down. you finally had a good look at her now, and the image made you hotter than you already were; the image of her towering over you on just her knees was enough to make you drool as she looked down at you like a predator does its prey. but as she made her way down towards your sopping cunt, you quickly realized she had a trail of drool of her own dripping down her chin as she eyed you like prey beneath her. her grey eyes could pierce a hole through your skull right now, you were sure; and if you didn't know better, you'd almost be afraid.

sevika was quick to dip down and lap up the juices left behind from her previous efforts, lavishing in the sweet taste and sweet noises you made. sevika's finger presses against your entrance teasingly as she starts to play around with your clit, and it doesn't take much longer before she slides two fingers in you; her middle and ring, and scissors them in you so you adjust to the size of them properly again. you groan, muffling yourself into the back of your hand. it's not long before she's restlessly fucking her fingers into you while you needily hump into the palm of her scarred hand as she works carefully at your clit with her mouth. it's only a couple of moments before she realizes you're trying to quiet yourself down, and she is quick to adjust. she pulls her mouth away from you and lets out something akin to a snarl as she pins the hand you're using to cover your mouth, being careful not to crush you under her mechanical grip. "what did i say earlier, sweetheart? i wanna hear you." she demanded, moving her face in close to yours as she continued working on your pussy, relishing in how quickly the moans spilled freely from your lips.

it doesn't take long before you're getting closer; pussy tensing, your heart beating impossibly fast. "needed this 'vika," you breathlessly whine as you rut into her hand, eyes squeezing shut as she works you further. at this point you had begun to babble, meaningly words falling out of your lips, forming a symphony of her name, "fuck"s and "don't stop"s in between the ramble. as you reach your end, you felt sevika's cool metal fingers squeeze your cheeks and turned your head back to face her. "look at me darlin," you expected her tone to be rough like before, but it was uncharacteristically soft, almost sentimental "wanna see every little look on your pretty little face, 'hmm?"

you forced your eyes open and met sevika's once again, grey but warmer than ever before, staring at you softly, sweat dripping down her sharp and scarred face. "good job sweetheart" she cooed, "you're doing so good..." she brought her thumb up to flick your now neglected clit, and with that, you fall apart, nearly crying as your head churns from the heat, liquor and smoke. "oh— please don't stop, don't, don't sev please." you begged, any composure long gone as you ground out the last of your orgasm on your hand; and sevika happily granted your request, more than content to watch you fall to pieces on her fingers.

once your moans became pitchy and your hips began to stutter, she knew you were done, slowing down to a stop and gently letting go of your face, pressing soft kisses to your face and neck as she slipped out of you. you whimpered at the loss, chest heaving as you struggled to catch your breath, nearly gasping at points. after a moment of peppering you, sevika pulls off from you, and all you can do is whine, finding moving to be too taxing at the moment. "don't worry doll, 'm not going anywhere." sevika coos from the end of the bed, pulling her shirt off over her head as she begins to strip.

it's not long before she is back over you again, and her hands are under your shirt, a confusing mix of cold and hot on either side as she pulls off the last piece of clothing hiding you from her. you relished in the skin-to-skin as she did so. tossing it to the side, she leaned back to sit on her heels, and you could tell by the almost dumb look on her face that she was too busy admiring the view to see you were doing the same— and how could you not? she had chiselled abs and a happy trail that you would definitely be following later, both of which you knew of before. but to your pleasant surprise, as your eyes drifted to her chest, two pierced nipples shone back at you, and you had to fight the urge to suck on them this instant. you couldn't help the words falling out of your mouth, "you're perfect 'vika, y'know that?"

your tone was soft, and you looked her in the eyes as you said it, smiling softly at the conflicted expression on her face. you could already tell she had no idea what to do with the compliment, and you found it slightly amusing that with one sentence you could somewhat fluster the normally stoic woman. "i don't know about that, hon. you, on the other hand?" she began, leaning down to kiss a line from your neck down your chest and stomach as she spoke, "you're flawless."

as she reached just above your clit, she stopped and looked back up at you with a devious grin. "i hope you had 'nough time to catch your breath, though. cause i'm sure as shit not done with you yet."

—

you don't know how long it's been, all you know is you're approaching what you think is your third orgasm of the night as sevika grinds her cunt into yours. she's intent on cumming now, practically using you for her own pleasure—and you're a complete mess of babbling whines and moans as a result. "plea—se—" you're begging for nothing as you lie in a pool of your cum beneath the two of you, and you can't get enough of her or her abs flexing with every desperate hump. you wanna lick up the cum that's clinging to her happy trail, and the nasty thought makes you shiver.

"you," she murmurs hoarsely, "feel— perfect darlin. you're so perfect." she can't stop repeating your praise from earlier as she fucks herself closer to the edge "feel so fuckin good". but you're well over that, gripping your already torn sheets that have slid completely off the mattress. you forgot how to breathe; your mind is already fuzzy from the alcohol and smoke from earlier, even if it's fading, and even fuzzier with sevika still grinding into you.

your inchoerient begging is breathless and whiney, and you're almost sure you must've died and gone to the great beyond because this was too good to be real. you sob out from overstimulation, unable to hold back tears as they began to trickle down your face, "sevika please—!"

sevika lets out a desperate moan of her own, followed by several more curses as she finally lets go of her own orgasm, grinding out desperately into you as she gasped for air and rode it out. eventually, she lazily collapsed to your side, still struggling to catch her breath as she called your name and turned to face you. you do the same, and shes quick to reach out and pull you close to her, wrapping her arms around you as she buries her face into the top of your hair. you tangle your legs with hers as you let out a content sigh, tucking your head into her chest as you hooked your arms underneath hers.

it was warm and intimate as the two of you winded down silently, enjoying each other's breathing and skin as you could hear a quiet rain begin to patter outside. you weren't sure how long the two of you were laid like that, but eventually, you shifted back to half-sit up on your arm, still somewhat looking up at sevika as you spoke due to her large frame. "so..." you began softly, a small chuckle on your lips as you struggled to find the words. "so?" she mirrored, raising a brow in a slight, tired amusement. you sighed, and started again, tone slightly more serious this time, "look, i'm not asking for, or expecting, any kind of serious commitment, 'vika. i just wanna know where we stand after—"

you pause when sevika calls your name softly and shifts to sit up slightly, even though it doesn't exactly level the two of you. "if you want me—" she pauses too, as if the words feel foreign or if she is not quite sure what to say herself, "if you want me i'm yours. i've been yours for a while." you can tell the confession comes hard to her, it doesn't take a fool to look at sevika and tell she doesn't exactly do feelings.

regardless, you smile lightly, reaching forward as you lean in for a timid kiss, more shy and intimate than the ones before, one that you let linger for some time before pulling back slightly. "i'm yours sevika. wasn't just saying that so you wouldn't stop." you finish your sentence with a small laugh.

you can see a little tension leave her shoulders as you speak, and a smile graces her lips as she steals another quick kiss from you, desperate to be close. you finally allow yourself to rest, falling back into her arms as she pulled you back in and tugged what was left of the covers back over your naked bodies. you feel her let out one last sigh as she settles in next to you, and it's only then that exhaustion hits you as sevika caresses circles into your arm.

it's not long after that before the two of you succumb and fall into sleep to the sound of rain pattering against the window above your head, nothing to worry about until tomorrow morning, when you'd eventually have to go back to the pile of forgotten paperwork sitting on your table.

[iamsebastiansstan]

got some nerve to play hard - NAC x fem!reader

summary - "Can she… can she take all of you?” 

Nicholas’ eyes widen at her boldness before they glance down, looking at his own crotch. She follows his gaze, stupidly, but his pants are too loose, giving nothing away.

“She tries, but no. Nobody could before.”

“I bet I could,” she husks before she can stop herself, bites the inside of her cheek at her stupid mistake. Talking about someone else is one thing, but putting herself in that position could ruin their little fantasy, the little game they’re playing.

wc - 6k - MINORS DNI !

warnings - strangers to lovers, lots and lots of dirty talk, talking about Nicholas being with another woman, masturbation (m and f), coming on pussy 👀

A/N - I'm sorry, this isn't proofread, I sat down and didn't get up til it was finished. I've used this introduction in two other fandoms already but I can't help it, it's my fave lmaooo might write more parts but we'll see. come and shout at me in my DMs or messages, and let me know what you think <3 enjoy!

🖤🖤🖤 Cooper’s parties are always fun, always a blast; people dancing and drinking, enjoying themselves and letting go of their stressful day to day routines, celebrating their lives for one reckless evening. 

She loves it, whenever she gets an invite, but lately she’s been stressed out more than usual, her college workload overwhelming her and the fact that she’s here now, in Calabasas instead of at her apartment in New York, makes guilt creep up her neck, makes her think of the points on her to-do lists she could be ticking off if she pulled an all-nighter at home instead of partying her time away. Though, she’s missed Cooper a lot, and she’s glad he’s letting her stay in his guest bedroom so they can spend some time together. 

That is where she’s heading to right now, needing a breather from the crowd and the noise. Sneaking up the stairs without getting interrupted is easy, and she sighs as she opens the door, locks it for good measure. Her bag is in the corner by the closet, and she crouches down, opens it, takes out her perfume and spritzes some onto her neck to refresh her favorite scent. Letting herself plop down onto the bed, she starts massaging her right shoulder that’s been smarting a little since she got off the plane at LAX when suddenly the door of the en-suite opens, making her head snap up. 

Waltzing out comes none other than Nicholas Chavez, Cooper’s close friend and Monsters co-star, making her heart stutter in her chest. Cooper mentioned having invited him, but she hadn’t seen him downstairs yet, which she had been glad about if she’s being honest with herself. She has a tiny celebrity crush on him, but not enough for a genuine freakout. 

He stops in his tracks, then, looks at her wide-eyed. She takes in his messy hair, his rosy cheeks, a few droplets of water on his face, and smiles. 

“Hello.”

“Um, hi?” he greets, eyes darting to the door and back again. “I- I’m sorry, are you staying here? I didn’t know that- if-“

“All good,” she interrupts, sitting up straighter, smile not faltering. “Cooper has graciously let me claim this room for the weekend, and I came here to… take a breather, I guess.” 

Nicholas leans against the door, then, arms crossing over his chest. 

“I’m sorry for invading your space, then.” 

“You’re totally fine, I’m happy to share if you’d like.” 

“How very nice of you,” he says, gives her a tiny smile before stepping forward and stretching out his arm. “I’m Nicholas.” 

She takes his hand in hers, shakes it, hoping he doesn’t notice how clammy her palm is. 

“(Y/N),” she grins, “nice to meet ya.”

They stay there for a beat too long, him standing above her and her sitting, shaking hands sluggishly, before she decides to break the silence. 

“Were you okay in there?” she says and lets go of his hand, motions to the bathroom.

He drives a hand through his hair, nodding slowly. 

“Yeah… yeah, well. I had to splash some cold water on my face and just… be in silence for a bit, but I’m okay. You?” 

She scooches up the bed, leans back against the headboard and stretches her legs out in front of herself. Her back hurts a little and she was looking forward to stretching out properly for a bit, but there’s no way she’s going to sprawl across these sheets in front of him. 

“’m okay, thank you. Just overwhelmed. I can leave again, though, if you’d like. You were here first.” 

“Technically,” he starts, sauntering over to the other side of the bed, pointing at it and sitting down when she gives him a nod, “you were here first, and I can totally leave if you need me to.”

She chuckles, rolls her eyes a little, feels the three tequila shots she took before coming up here in her system.

“Sharing is caring, Nicholas, and besides, do I seem like I’d want you to leave?”

He shrugs, gives her a slow smile. “Guess not. Thanks.” 

He asks her how she knows Cooper and she tells him the story of how they met at a party and instantly hit it off, she asks him what it’s like to be working with Cooper in a professional setting, and their conversation moves from the topic of their mutual friend to various others: Nick’s career, her studies, their hobbies and so on and so forth. At one point he sneaks downstairs and comes back with four bottles clutched in his large hands: two water and two Smirnoff ice. 

“Do I look like a 17-year-old to you?” she laughs when he holds them towards her in triumph, tongue in cheek.

“C’mon, (Y/N), live a little.” 

Comfortable silence settles over them when they’ve emptied their drinks and she can’t believe just how easy he is to talk to, how much time has passed while they were having fun.

“So…” she asks, heart hammering in her chest but she swallows down her sudden nervousness, “Wanna talk about it?” 

She nods towards the bathroom and he inhales sharply once he’s understood her question.

“Not sure what you mean.”

“I mean, you clearly weren’t doing so well,” she says, smiles at him, shrugs, “I’m just saying, if you wanna talk about it, I’m here to listen. This is a judgment-free zone.” 

“I wouldn’t say that,” he frowns but the smile he’s trying to fight of betrays him, “I judged you pretty hard for your snack preferences to be honest.”

“Pickles and peanut butter are a delicious combination!” she laughs, exasperated, “Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it!” 

They stay giggling like that before he shrugs, fiddling with a loose thread of the comforter they’re sitting on. 

“I just… it’s… I think I messed up,” he sighs, leaning his head back against the headboard, exposing the column of his throat that she is decidedly not looking at.

“How so?” 

“With my… ex. Well, ex I think.” 

She nods slowly, not quite following. Of course, she knows who his ex is, her name, what she looks like, the projects she’s involved in. She seems like the sweetest girl, but not much is public about her, so her curiosity is piqued. 

“Go on…” 

He exhales then, grabs his water and downs the rest of it in one go, wiping his mouth before crossing his arms across his chest. He’s frustrated, she can tell, but he looks so damn good that she feels a tad guilty for being on the verge of distraction. 

“We broke up during a fight last week. It was so bad, and… I mean, it’s been bad, right? My schedule, the distance, she grew more and more tired of it and I- I get it, y’know? It’s not easy, being with me.” 

“I see,” she nods, turns towards him more. “I can imagine that your lifestyle can get tricky for everyone involved.”

“Yeah, I can’t expect everyone to wanna keep up, y’know? And the worst part is, when she did it- because she did it, right- I felt relieved. Like somehow, she was being set free, and I didn’t have to be the asshole to do it.” 

Her eyes narrow, not quite agreeing with his statement. She saw how hard Hollywood can be on anyone, especially someone with a “normal” partner who’s got a “normal” job, but it’s not like anyone is being forced to hold on to their unhappiness. She tells him as much.

“Well, yeah, I’m being a bit dramatic. But at the end of the day, I know it’s better for us if we are separated. I still love her so much, but… I can’t. So much has happened, and I… can’t.” He gets quiet then, stares out the window into the night, before chuckling humorlessly, “I don’t know why I’m telling you all this. ‘m sorry for being such a downer.” 

“Hey, no worries at all,” she smiles warmly, reaches out to put a comforting hand on his shoulder, squeezes once. “I offered, and I really am here to listen. Thank you for your trust.” 

He scoffs, not unkindly. “Yeah, you’re really easy to talk to. Thanks for that.” 

One more squeeze to his shoulder before she lets go, leans back.

“So, you feel like you fucked up by, what, letting her break it off, or…?”

Nicholas snaps out of his momentary thoughts, shakes his head.

“Oh, that wasn’t the fuck-up, no. I feel shitty because… well, because of what happened yesterday. I drove to hers to give her some stuff back,” he explains, and her stomach drops. They broke up, he drove to hers, he messed up. 

There’s only one thing that can mean, and she listens closely, waits for him to say it, but the words never come. 

Throwing caution in the wind, she dares to finish the train of thought for him.

“And you two had sex.”

Nick’s wide eyes snap to hers, a blush coloring his smooth cheeks, and she chuckles.

“C’mon, it’s okay, we’re all grown here!” 

“It was so stupid!” he exclaims, throwing his head back while she has to hold back her laughter. “Don’t make fun!”

“I’m sorry, I’m not!” she giggles, reaches out to him to get his attention. “Nicholas, that’s normal! Is it really a breakup if you don’t have breakup sex?” 

“Yes!” he laughs at her, a little manic this time, driving a hand through his tousled hair. “Fuck you mean, is it really a breakup? Having sex after is the dumbest move you could make!” 

Hiding her face in her hands, she allows herself a loud belly laugh, endlessly amused by his distress. She calms herself down, has a sip of her water.

“I disagree, sometimes it’s needed for closure.”

“Yeah, fuck that, because earlier she texted me if I could come see her again soon and that there’s things we still need to talk about. I feel like I’m back at square one.” 

“You think you’ll give in to her if she asks to give your relationship a second chance?” 

It takes a beat for him to mull it over.

“I don’t know, maybe?” 

It’s been an interesting night so far and the alcohol is still shimmying its way through her system, she’s here with her celebrity crush and having a great time, so she makes a conscious decision to be bold and see where it lands her. 

She scoots closer, turns so she’s right next to him and sits criss cross applesauce so she can lean forward and take his hands in hers. He’s looking at her questioningly but goes with her motion. 

“Nicholas, I know we don’t know each other, but I want you to tell me if you need me to be honest with you or if you want me to hype you up on getting back on your bullshit? Just say the word and I’ll do it.”

His unsure gaze darts to the side before settling on hers again, nodding dumbly.

“Tell me what you think,” he requests, and she smirks as she obliges.

“You’re being a big fucking baby and you need to get over it and tell her, once and for all, that it’s better this way. If you go there, have the conversation and then get back with her despite your gut telling you not to? That would be a fuck-up. Sex with your ex is nothing compared to what a mistake that would be.” 

The silence that settles over the room is thick, turning more uncomfortable by the second, and suddenly she feels herself sober up quickly, the realization of what she just said to this stranger, how grandiosely she stepped out of line, hitting her hard.

Apology ready on her lips, she’s just about to backtrack, when he squeezes her hands, closes his mouth in a resolute expression.

“Damn, that was… Thank you. Yeah, you’re right,” he’s muttering, and she can feel her heart in her throat, relief washing over her. “Wow, I don’t think anyone in my life would be as honest with me as you just were.” 

She smiles sheepishly, heat crawling up her neck.

“I’ll never be the friend who tells you what you want to hear, Nicholas, but I’ll always be the friend who tells you what you need to hear.”

He lets go of her, then, leans back with a calculating gaze, eyeing her up and down.

“So we friends now, you and I?” 

She shrugs. “Whaddya think?” 

He hums. “You called me a big fucking baby. Only friends get to do that.” 

He holds out his large hand and she takes it, shaking it with a smile.

“Deal.” 

She goes back to her place against the headboard and they sit in silence for a moment before she turns her head, smirks teasingly as she says, “I will say, though, you don’t look too happy for someone who’s freshly fucked.” 

His guffaw is sudden, unexpected, but it makes her laugh along, refusing to be embarrassed by her rude remark. 

“What even are you?” he asks her incredulously and she throws her head back, belly hurting from how funny he is. 

“I’m just saying! No matter who it’s with, people usually glow after, and you looked like a kicked puppy when I found you.”

He scoffs, “Found me, yeah right,” he says, but locks eyes with her and winks. 

“Yeah, well,” she muses.

“Sorry that a damper got put on my after-sex-glow and you couldn’t enjoy it, little missy!” 

“Oh, so there was a glow?” she asks, teasing him but curious, her stomach tightening. She makes sure to keep her tone light and playful but there’s nothing she wants to know more than the details of how he fucks.

She’s an open girl, sexual and talkative, and despite people in the past trying to make her feel less than for it, she lives out her personality shamelessly, unapologetically. 

His confirmation comes slow, thought-out. 

“I’d say so, yeah. There always is when it’s good, isn’t there?” 

She hums. 

“So it was good, despite everything?” 

The way he turns towards her is unhurried, deliberate, and she feels her pulse quicken, feels like she’s about to be scolded for her forwardness.

“What are you asking me there, missy?” 

Gulping down her nervousness, she answers, “Look, even though I was hoping for it, I don’t think I’ll be finding anyone to share my bed with tonight, so the least I could do is… talk about it.” 

He grins. “Someone had plans, huh? 

She shrugs nonchalantly. “I like sex.” 

“Talking about it, as well?” 

Her inhale is deep as she thinks about how to word her thoughts.

“I like knowing what others like, how they view that act of intimacy. It’s one of my favorite topics.” 

“You’re not a sellout, are you?” he questions, but the crinkles by his eyes show her he’s being humorous.

She rolls her eyes, delivering a swat to his arm.

“You’re not dumb enough to fall for shit like that, Nicholas.” 

A beat passes before she hears his voice again, “Yeah, it was good. Always is with her, to be honest.” 

“The familiarity of a long-term partner is unbeatable, isn’t it?” 

He agrees.

“How’d you have her?” 

“Fuckin’ hell, you just speak your mind, huh?” 

She’s playing with a strand of her hair, picking at the split ends, she needs a haircut. She doesn’t want to come across as eager, so she shrugs yet again, glances at him.

“If you’re uncomfortable, you don’t have to answer.”

“Nah,” he says, clicks his tongue before replying, “You can ask. I think I’m curious to see how your mind works, (Y/N).” 

Her eyebrows raise in slight surprise, but she presses on.

“Good. So?” 

The sheets rustle as he shifts, settles in so he’d be more comfortable, sprawling on the bed like it’s his own, like he owns the place. Their thighs are this close to touching and she wills herself not to focus on that too much, rather listening to what he says next. 

“I never take her one way only,” he confesses, then, causes heat to lick up her spine. “We started kissing against the back of the couch, but I lost my patience quickly, I… I just had to fuck her.” 

“So you took her from behind? Against the couch?” 

“Nah, that came later,” he narrows his eyes as if he has to remember it, “I picked her up, that’s how we started.” 

“With her legs around you?” He nods. “Just straight into it, no foreplay?” 

He smirks, turns to her. “I tend to let my hands travel during make-out sessions, if you know what I mean.” 

She exhales sharply. “Let’s say I don’t know, Nick.” 

One thick brow of his rises teasingly, eyeing her. 

“I had some fingers in her while we were kissing, (Y/N).”

“Damn, okay. How many is some?”

“You’re real fuckin’ curious, aren’t you?” 

“Fuck off, I’m only human.” 

She’s not even ashamed of her thirst for information, his words causing a movie to form in her head and she refuses to let a cliffhanger disappoint her.

“Two this time, I was impatient. Plus, I like her tight.” 

She looks away, then, turns her head away from his so she could school her expression. His face is unreadable, charming smile in place, but his eyes give nothing away. It does little to settle the fire inside of her. 

“Did you eat her out?”

“Later on, I did.”

What a mental image.

“Did she… go down on you?” 

“Not this time.”

“Can she… can she take all of you?” 

Nicholas’ eyes widen at her boldness before they glance down, looking at his own crotch. She follows his gaze, stupidly, but his pants are too loose, giving nothing away.

“She tries, but no. Nobody could before.”

“I bet I could,” she husks before she can stop herself, bites the inside of her cheek at her stupid mistake. Talking about someone else is one thing, but putting herself in that position could ruin their little fantasy, the little game they’re playing.

It feels like her heart is going to jump out of her chest when suddenly Nicholas reaches up, wraps one hand around the front of her throat, eyeing it as if he’s inspecting it closely. He drives one finger over her hammering pulse point and chuckles before pulling away entirely.

“Yeah, maybe you could. You’d choke on it, though.” 

“Cocky bastard, don’t fucking act like you don’t love that.” 

He considers it for a moment. 

“I don’t mind it. A hand in your hair, drilling into your throat, makes for some neat little sounds, I’m sure.” 

“Fuck,” she breathes, gathering herself before pressing. “Then what? You fucked her standing up and then?”

“I carried her into her bedroom, took her missionary. I love that position, it’s so underrated.”

“It really is,” she agrees, a dreamy hush sneaking into her words. “The passion of it, the romance. Fucking eye-to-eye is not for the faint hearted.” 

A laugh escapes him at that, and he looks at her, awe written all over his face. 

“Yeah, exactly. Many variations of that, as well. My personal favorite is having her legs over my shoulders, I can get real deep that way.” 

“Oh wow, that one’s good. Plus, it allows for room. I… I find it easiest to play with myself that way.” 

The admission is very personal, she knows, but she deems it unfair to let him spill his guts while she gets to keep her secrets.

“Play with your clit, you mean?” She nods, bashful. “Do you always need to?” 

“I don’t come without it,” she says, watches his brows furrow. “What?”

“Nobody’s ever made you come on his cock only?”

The way he says it, the word, the whole sentence, as if offended on her behalf, makes her pussy clench where it’s steadily leaking.

“I don’t know if I can,” she frowns, “not every woman can.”

“Every woman I fucked could, though,” he smirks, and she hides her flaming face behind her hands.

“You’re unbelievable, fuck,” she tells him, allows him his smug smirk, though. “Did she come untouched as well?” 

“Yeah, she did.”

“Did she ask permission?”

He squints his eyes. “Permission…?”

Her mind is going into overdrive, hoping to God that she isn’t scaring him off but needing to share her deepest desire with him, needing to know his in turn.

“When I get fucked,” she starts, ignores the surprise in his face, “my orgasms aren’t mine, they’re his. Right? So, I always ask permission.”

“What if he says no?”

“Then I hold it.” 

“Fuck,” he breathes and she watches, throat dry, as he reaches down to adjust himself in his pants unabashedly. “You’re a dirty girl, aren’t you?”

“Only with men I trust.”

She tears her eyes away from his crotch to look at him.

“Is there anyone like that in your life right now?” She shakes her head no. “Good.”

It takes all of the restraint she can muster up not to beg him for something, anything, right then and there, but she focuses on the story he owes her. 

“How many times did you make her come?”

He thinks about it, shrugs. “Stopped counting at three.”

“Goddamn. How did you come?”

“Inside her, while she was riding me,” he smirks, paints the picture in her head so clearly, only that it isn’t a head full of brown hair that’s thrown back in ecstasy but-

“You asked if I ate her out?”

She’s scared to speak.

“…yes?”

“That’s when I did it, after. Cleaned her up nicely.”

She brings a hand up to her mouth and covers it, mind and heart racing. 

“Did you- Nick, did you swallow your own load?”

Nicholas clicks his tongue, trails his eyes over her rapidly moving chest, locks his eyes on hers as he delivers one devastating blow, “Aw baby, don’t tell me you’re unfamiliar with getting a mouthful of come spat onto that pretty tongue.” 

Delirium grips at her then, grabs her by the throat and doesn’t let go, takes control of her limbs and makes her straddle him quickly as he sits up to welcome her, grabs her and pushes her hips down into where he’s bucking his up. Nicholas’ tongue on her neck makes her moan, hot all over. 

“I will ask you something and I want you to be honest with me,” he rasps, bites at her earlobe, “a truth for a truth, deal?”

“Yes, please-“

“When did you start thinking about you being the one taking my cock?” 

“Fuck!” she exclaims with her hands tangled in his head, pulling a little, frustrated at being found out but relieved that he’s embracing it so openly. “When you talked about throwing her legs over your shoulders.”

“Good girl,” he says, nips at her collarbone as he holds her tight, “wanna know something? I stopped talking about what I did to her when you asked about her going down on me.”

“You lied?” she shrieks, outrage as fake as her restraint.

“I won’t disrespect her by divulging too much information, plus I just wanted to see how you’d react.”

Clever fingers reach under her shirt to unclasp her bra, helping her out of her clothes so her upper body is bare. 

“And, did you like it?”

“Fuckin’ loved it.”

He buries his face between her tits, squeezing them periodically, and she’s just about to beg for his cock when he looks up at her, apology written all over his face.

“I can’t fuck you, I’m sorry,” he says, “I shouldn’t even be touching you right now. Not until I know, for sure, where I’m at in life.” 

The telltale burning behind her nose makes her want to scream, the sexual frustration overtaking her, but she reels herself in, albeit barely. Of course it hurts, being rejected like this, but she isn’t about to make things more complicated for him than they need to be. She’ll take what she can get from him, this could be her only chance.

“Fuck, that’s okay, Nick. I understand.” 

“’m sorry, (Y/N).” 

“Fuck,” she breathes before she pushes him back, eyes on him as he puts his hands behind his head, observes her as she tries to wiggle out of her jeans. “You don’t have to touch me, we can play some other way, no?”

Nicholas closes his eyes as if in pain, exhales deeply before they open again, jet-black gaze meeting hers. He nods.

“Get back here, baby,” he groans, and soon enough she’s perched on his lap again, fully naked while he’s still dressed, rubbing her center against the material of his pants. 

“I’m dying to taste you,” she confesses, so close to tears it’s embarrassing, but with him she feels no shame. 

The hands he’s got on her hips tighten as he looks up at her through his full eyelashes, something dark in his eyes.

“So am I, you’re fucking dripping for me.” 

“And you’re hard for me,” she states, needs that equilibrium. 

“All for you, (Y/N),” he breathes, bucks his hips up once more. “Dying to touch myself.” 

“When was the last time you did?” 

“This morning.”

She believes him, knows he’s done with games, and she can’t help but picture it: his broad wet back, droplets of water falling from his soaked hair, one strong arm flexing as his hand is moving up and down his cock, mouth agape but eyes shut in ecstasy. She wishes so badly to see it, to feel it.

“You’re picturing it, aren’t you?” 

She barks out a laugh, hips still rotating. 

“Aren’t I always?” 

“Imaginative little girl,” he smirks and it sounds like praise. “Wanna see how I do it? Wanna watch me fuck myself?”

The wanton moan that escapes her can’t be helped and she’s nodding her head vigorously, not trusting her voice.

“You too, though, yeah? You show me how you work that sweet little cunt, okay?”

“Yes, yes, whatever you want… Take your cock out, please, Nick,” she whines, unable to stop her hands from shaking, from driving across her body, touching herself wherever she can reach.

He does as he’s told and soon enough his pants are down to his knees, cock hard and proud in his hand, the sight making her eyes water. It’s so thick that she knows exactly what it’d feel like deep within her.

“Touch yourself slowly, give yourself two,” he instructs, and she immediately obeys, nerves shot as she shoves two fingers into her dripping pussy.

“Jerk your dick with both hands, baby, but keep it tight. Pretend like it’s my mouth on you.” 

“Spit on it, first,” he barks and she looks at him, wide eyed, sees how serious he’s being, before collecting a glob of spit on the tip of her tongue and letting it fall onto his cockhead. The way it slowly trails down before he drives his hand over it, slicks himself up so he can obey her better, makes her gut churn.

“’m so tight, so wet for you,” she cries out, riding her own fingers painstakingly slowly, wanting to do exactly as he tells her to. “And your dick is so fucking big, oh shit.”

“Glide your clit against two fingers, but keep it loose, don’t touch with the intent to come,” he tells her while his eyes are darting between her face and what she’s doing to her pussy, not wanting to miss a thing. 

“You really are adamant about me coming from my spot only, huh?” she chuckles but does as he directs her.

“One day, I’ll train you to only come from that spot, fuck,” he spits, hand speeding up as she whines at his promise.

“Shit, my clit is so swollen, if I keep going like this, I’ll cum.” 

“You can,” he says, grabs her ass cheek with one hand as he keeps working his dick with the other, “Come as many times as you’d like, as long as you can keep coming until I’m satisfied.” 

She can’t look away from how he’s touching himself, confident in his body, jerking it tightly and switching between fast and slow strokes, his full balls following the motion. The need to have her mouth on them, lap at his full sac while he makes himself feel good, knocks the wind out of her.

“Play with your balls,” she whines, always whining desperately, “I need to see what that looks like.” 

“Oh, yeah?” his hand leaves her skin as he grabs his balls, rolls them in his palm, moans at how hungrily she’s eyeing the scene before her. “They need to be drained so bad, (Y/N).”

“We’ll take care of that together, won’t we, baby?”

“Fuck yeah,” he growls, looking between her legs again. “Give yourself one more, I want you stretched.” 

She does exactly that and moans around how full she feels, knowing that if it were him inside of her, it’d be even more overwhelming. Wishing he was shirtless, completely naked, she fucks herself hard, wanting to take her other hand and drive it along his torso but not daring to stop what he ordered her to do.

“May I come for you, please?” she gasps, hips bucking wildly. She’s not above begging, not for a man like him.

“Come for me, (Y/N),” he growls, taking his hands off himself to hold her up as she convulses with how hard her orgasm hits her, it’s been a few days since she last came. “Good fuckin’ girl, that was gorgeous, fuck.” 

Nicholas’ praise gets to her, makes her flush down to her stomach and he notices, laughs wickedly as he pushes her up so she’d sit straight, takes her hand and motions for her to keep going.

“Not done with you yet, keep playing.”

“Fuck,” she winces as she touches her sensitive clit, swollen and hard and just on the right side of painful, but his wish is her command so she can’t help but do it. “Keep touching your cock, Nicholas. I wanna come to the sight of you close to my cunt.” 

“God, you make me crazy,” he growls as he does just that, his tip this short of touching her pussy as he really goes for it, hand a blur with how fast he’s moving.

She’s got three fingers back inside of her but apart from the stretch it isn’t doing much for her, she knows he’d make it feel earth-shattering, though, would show her a completely new side of herself, and with that in mind she feels herself close to the edge again, panting.

“I’m fucking close again, oh my God-“

“You’re incredible, keep going, I’m right there.”

It puts a new kind of vigor inside of her and she moves and grinds and moans just how she thinks he’ll like it, puts on a show for him and when he starts whimpering, she knows she’s got him right where she wants him.

Or so she thinks.

She lets go first, wailing as it hits her, having wanted to share that moment with him but being unable to think as the coil inside of her snaps. Falling back onto the bed she pulls her knees to her chest, drives her fingers deep and comes hard.

“Spread your legs, let me mark you, huh?” comes his voice, snapping her out of her high, and without thinking twice she spreads her legs wide and gives him a clear view of her sloppy pussy, takes her hands away so he can shuffle between them, and it only takes him a few more pumps before he’s groaning, shooting string after string of his hot semen right onto her clit, making her shout.

It overstimulates her completely: the feeling of it, the sight of it, the way he claimed her without ever having been inside her.

Nicholas wouldn’t be Nicholas, she has learned, if he didn’t push her completely over the edge, and so through his hard breathing, with his impossibly deep voice, he demands, “Make yourself come one more time for me, baby. Fuck your clit with my come all over it, lemme see it.”

She does just that, but she feels like she passes out, because next thing she knows she’s got tears streaming down her face, his head hidden in her neck and shushing her, soothing her. The throbbing between her legs is barely noticeable through the ringing in her ears, and when he tells her to match her breathing to his, it takes her a while to comprehend.

“You back with me?” he smiles gently, tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear, and she nods shakily, not trusting her voice. 

“That was… oh my God, Nicholas.”  

He laughs, a soft sound, pursing his lips.

“I don’t know what came over me. Was all of that okay?”

“More than,” she says, needing to reassure him, grabs the hand that’s on her cheek and kisses each fingertip. “I… have never felt like that. Wow. So out of my body.” 

“Me neither, I didn’t even know I could, well, do all of that.” 

They take a moment of silence to just grin at each other stupidly, gathering themselves, and she feels a ping of hurt in her stomach at the prospect of letting him leave.

“Wanna… stay with me for the night? We’ll be good, I promise, but I just can’t be alone after all of that, Nicholas. I can’t.”

The kiss he presses to her shoulder is long, contemplative.

“I can’t leave right now, I’ll be honest. I feel like you’d fall apart if I did,” he smirks, dodges the swat she so badly aims in his direction. “Nah, and I wouldn’t be well, either. That was intense.”

“So… shower and cuddles?”

“And food, I’ll have to raid Cooper’s pantry.”

The party comes to mind again, she’s already forgotten about it. The people must have already left, it’s way too quiet in comparison to what it was when she came up here.

“Sounds great. But you’ll need to help me, I think my legs are jello.” 

“Sorry not sorry,” cheeky bastard he is, but he helps her up and walks with her to the bathroom, starts the shower so it’d be hot when she gets in.

The mirror isn’t very kind to her, showing messy hair and ruined makeup, streaks of mascara running down to her neck where her tears were, but she’s got an unmistakable glow on her face, radiating satisfaction. Nicholas walks up next to her, hooks his head over her shoulder and grins. 

“Now you look happily fucked out,” she comments, laughs when he slaps her ass once, not too hard. 

“Thank you for that,” he whispers, kisses her shoulder. “I needed it.” 

“So did I.” 

Her honesty would scare her under normal circumstances, but this isn’t a normal circumstance. She steps into the shower and starts washing herself, wishing she could stay in his fluids for a little longer, rub them into her skin so she’d still know tomorrow that this night was real, but she settles for having him clean and comfortable next to her in bed. He watches her for a while before he exits the room, possibly in search of food, as he’s promised earlier.

She’ll have time for a spiral tomorrow. For now, she just looks forward to letting his breathing lull her into a deep sleep. 

[snoopyhughes]

it's you, it's you, it's really all for you (nh13)

Happy winter fic exchange @puckology101 !!! For the plot I had in mind, I didn't think a Swiss Alps trip was realistic but I hope this does the trick. I tried to detail the beautiful Banff scenery as best as I could (especially for someone who has never been!) so I hope you could truly envision that.

As always, @wyattjohnston Demi thank you so much for hosting this event for our community!

This is 2k+ words, I don't believe there's any mentions of any defining traits but I have not done a thorough check to ensure that this is safe for all to read. If you would like me to do that, shoot me a message and I'm more than willing to double check.

Title from Video Games by Lana del Rey (the live version, iykyk) this is loosely edited!

Nico Hischier, in hind sight, was thrilled that Switzerland was not a part of the four nations tournament. His logical, captain sense knows that he should want to play hockey all the time, work on his game, and he does really love international play. However, he needed a break. The high powered, adrenaline filled season had taken a toll on his body and his mental capacity.

But deep down, he was thrilled. Because that means he gets to go on a trip with his best friend, Y/N. When some of the guys who weren't going to four nations decided to get a group together and take a trip to Banff, complete with skiing, the beautiful winter scenery, and two hot tubs on the property, he jumped on the opportunity, even faster when he knew Y/N could come with.

Dawson insisted that he invited his girlfriend because he promised her a trip on the all star break but she ended up not being able to go. Soon enough, almost all of the guys were inviting their partners, save for Luke who insisted on bringing his best friend Dylan Duke, never one for formalities with girls.

Nico was chronically single, but always by choice. He does not have enough fingers and toes to count the amount of times he's tried to show you how much he loves you, more than a friend, but it never works. Either you're lovingly clueless or you don't feel the same way, the latter causing a pit in his stomach. That being said, Nico will always pick you as his plus one to pretty much anything. If you ever suggest that he find a real date, someone who he might want to be romantically involved with, he shrugs it off immediately, letting you know that "he doesn't have time for a relationship right now" and that "you make him happier than any relationship ever could."

Everything leading up to the trip was relatively smooth. The private jet flight (that you'd never get used to) was like flying on a resort, you were able to get time off work with no problem, and even the packing didn't seem like as much of a chore as it usually does. But things started getting interesting as soon as you, Nico, and the group made it to the ski resort. You always knew you'd be sharing a room, that much never bothered you. You'd shared hotel rooms with him before, having not been a first timer on an all star break trip, which is essentially what this was. Coincidentally, all of the people on the trip ended up with rooms right next to each other. When you opened the door, you saw one huge king bed staring right at you.

You and Nico shared a look, assuming that your room may have gotten mixed up with the others. Sure enough, when you knocked on everyone's door, they all had the same set up as you. The only room with two beds on the floor, it seemed, belong to Luke and Dylan. You thought of asking them to switch, but you could only imagine Luke's dramatics and theatrics if you tried to suggest switching rooms.

"It really doesn't bother me, Y/N. As long as it doesn't bother you, I'm fine with it. Besides, did you see the size of that bed? It could probably fit a third person in there also." You really didn't know why you were so nervous. Of course, you had known you had feelings for Nico. But you always felt that Nico could never have any feelings for you. You had watched Nico flirt with girls in the bar after games, even on the trips you went on, awkwardly tagging along on his side. It was the same way he flirted with you sometimes. It made you feel like you were just another girl for him to flirt with. He had a naturally flirty personality, and you were just another person who came in contact with that.

As you opened the door to the bedroom again, accepting your fate, you took a second to look around and truly take in the room. You were amazed at what you saw. When you first walked into the room, you could clearly see the bathroom, with a jacuzzi tub and a waterfall shower, and even a double vanity sink. In addition to the huge bed, there was a massive TV set up across from it, some of the softest towels you've ever countered in your life, and a huge glass sliding door. When you moved the curtains, you couldn't help the gasp that had came over your mouth.

Nico had seen tons of beautiful mountain scenery in his lifetime, growing up in Switzerland. He had seen the mountains, the snow, all of it. And sure, you had seen snow. It was usually tinged with grey and brown, tire tracks and footprints ruining its true beauty. This, this pure, unaltered beauty of the mountain scene in Banff, it took your breath away. Nico couldn't help but smile, seeing your pure joy, watching the breath get stolen from your mouth as you observed the scenes around you.

"Nico this is... wow," you gasped, leaning in when he wrapped his arm around you, feeling him rest his head atop of yours. Your heart fluttered, feeling like you were meant to be here. "You're my best friend," you smiled nuzzling into his side. "Yeah, my best friend."

You should've known with the room situation that the guys were up to something. After all, Dawson insisted on booking the rooms, saying that Nico deserved a break from his "captain duties," causing Nico to rebut that "booking rooms on a vacation is hardly a 'captain's duty.'" But when you turned away from the mountains, you were beginning to discover that it was possible that you and Nico had gotten the "honeymoon suite." You had your own private hot tub on the deck of your room, the first floor patio backing up into a beautiful mountain scene. You imagined snow falling onto your face and hair as you and Nico lounged in the hot tub together. Your cheeks heat up at the thought, causing you to pull away from Nico. You couldn't allow yourself to get too caught up in the what ifs. If Nico really wanted to make a move on you, he would make a move, not the same move he had made hundreds of other times.

You found yourself in your bathroom getting ready with the other girls that were on the trip. Nico had already gotten ready and was downstairs at the bar drinking with the guys. Since you had gotten in to the resort after 5, you knew no skiing would be happening, so you made reservations at a nice restaurant in downtown Banff.

"So, how's it going with you and Nico? Do you like the room?" Dawson's girlfriend giggling, nudging you in the side. "I knew that couldn't have been accidental. Dawson seemed way too excited watching me trying to figure out how to unlock the room door," you laughed, nudging her right back. "It's so foolish. You both clearly love each other, but neither of you will make a move. It makes no sense. If you guys won't do it, someone else had to try it." You sighed, putting the cap on your lip gloss.

"I know what you mean, but I really don't think Nico likes me back. He acts the same way with every other girl he's come across. If Nico really wants to be with me, I want him to make it known, make it obvious. Do something that lets me know that it's me only, not me and the girls at the bar, not me and the girls who wait for him after games, just me." Whether you realized it or not, the other girls were silently taking notes, and as soon as you went to the bathroom at dinner, they told Nico.

When you arrived with the girls at the restaurant, you learned the guys were already waiting at a table. Nico's eyes lit up when he saw you, smiling wide and blushing at your prolonged eye contact. As you came closer to the table, he took a step toward you, pulling you into a hug. His large hand ran along your back as he pulled you in close, causing goosebumps to raise up your arms and on the back of your neck.

"You look absolutely stunning," he whispered in your ear, causing your cheats to heat up, a smile just as big as Nico's. Nico only pulled away to pull your chair out for you, again causing your cheeks to heat up, the girlfriends smiling around you, although you had genuinely no idea because you couldn't stop staring at Nico.

They wondered how you couldn't see how much he cared for you, more than anyone, especially any other girl. Even the guys could see how much he cared for you. The girls understood deep down, knowing how difficult it can be to be able to fully trust a man, especially if you had been hurt in the past by one. Because yes, they were taking notes to share with Nico. But they really didn't need to. And everything they told him, he already knew.

He knew exactly where you'd want to eat, knowing that you craved your comfort food when you were tired. It was the perfect place to eat after a travel day, and getting to the hotel when it was already dark. He knew your preferred seating choice, and of course he knew that you would want a table with a view of the mountains. He didn't care how much it cost him, or that he had to name drop himself (and Luke) to get the table with the view. All that mattered was that he could sit across from you, and watch you admire the view, while he admired you, which was really all that mattered to him.

And nothing felt more perfect than when the rest of the couples started either making their way back to the resort or to the next stop on their drinking trip down the Main Street in Downtown, you and Nico stayed. The two of you stayed, his hand softly brushing yours as you talked, him with his back to the window, taking that spot specifically so that you could see the scenery. And even as everyone left, leaving the two of you at the table alone, all he wanted to do was look at you. The way you smiled, the way your eyes crinkled at the corners when you laughed, even the soft yawn you let out towards the end of the night made him smile, his cheeks hurting at the end of the night.

When the uber dropped you two off at the resort at the end of the night, Nico held the door open for you, helping you back into the room. When he moved from the front of your view and you saw what he had done, you couldn't stop the gasp from coming from your mouth. How he had done it while being at the restaurant and you being the last to leave the room, you truly didn't know. But you didn't need the logistics, because it all settled in for you.

It's you. It's always you. It always has been, and always will be. The most beautiful bouquets of your favorite flowers sat around the room, no flower petals on the floor because you both agreed that that was impractical. A bucket of champagne sat cooling right by the glass doors that outlooked the view, the most perfect view. It was then you realized that it was more than Dawson who picked this room, it was Nico, wanting to share the space with you. It was Nico who knew how much you'd love the view. It's Nico. It always has been, and it always will be.

When your eyes locked from across the room, your eyes finally looking up at his, which you knew had been on yours the whole time, you couldn't cross the room fast enough. And when your lips locked with his, everything else floated away. It was like nothing else mattered. As the snow fell in the background just behind you, you knew that it didn't matter where you were, and it didn't matter who came in the way. It was always you.

[megs-1800]

The One Where We Were On A Break

Note: Based on the 'we were on a break' episode from Friends. Let me know if you guys want a part 2.

Summary: You call a break after a stupid fight about Mason being jealous. Mason decides to go out and let some steam off but ends up sleeping with someone else. Mason argues you were 'on a break' so didn't cheat but you still decide to end it. What will happen when you have to meet again 6 months later? Will you be able to rekindle your relationships? Will you let all your feelings resurface?

Pairings: Mason Mount x Reader

Word Count: 11.5k

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Swearing and SMUT!

It had been a busy week well actually it has been a crazy 6 months! We have moved to Manchester with Masons transfer and Mason has settle in well to Manchester but it did put a strain on our relationship with the stress of his contract ending but we stuck through it together. I was worried about moving to Manchester as we would be so far away from all our friends and family and I would have had to change jobs but I promised Mason I would stick by him so I didn’t let my worries hit the surface and always put on a brave face for him.

I really struggled to find a job, I have been trained in a lot including management and admin but there wasn’t many jobs around at this time. Mason said he could probably get me a job doing something admin like at united but I wanted to be known for ‘me’ not just ‘Mason Mount’s girlfriend’ so I always declined saying that something would come up.

2 months after we moved I got a message from my ex’s best friend James. We were always close and I saw him like a big brother. He was good to me after me and my ex broke up and totally sided with me after he cheated and helped me rebuild myself. I hadn’t really spoken to him much since he moved to Manchester 3 years ago but he must of saw that I moved since it was all over the news that Mason signed for United. I quickly opened the message “Hey gorgeous girl how have you been?! Long time no see! I saw that you moved to Manchester we defo need to meet up! I wanna hear about everything especially that footballer boyfriend of yours! Let me know when you are free. I know you probably got loads of jobs fighting over you but we have a position at my company that has just become available, so if you are interested I would love to take you out to lunch to discuss it more? xx”.

I didn’t know what to say, this would be massive for me. James works for a high end mental health charity, they have won awards on how impactful they are, I have been seeing it all over James’ socials, this job would be ideal for me. I messaged James straight away accepting. James rang me right back telling me all about the job and we both arranged a lunch to discuss it further. I couldn’t wait to tell Mason, it all sounded to good to be true.

Mason is home early that day, as soon as he walks in the door I cannot stop the massive smile all over my face. “Wow that excited to see me are you?” Mason smirks coming over to me and wrapping his arms around my waist and placing a kiss to my lips. “I always get excited seeing that gorgeous face! But well I kinda got some news” .

“Oh yeah what is that?” Mason asks as he starts putting all of training kit down and comes to sit on the sofa.

“Well I kinda got approached about a job today!” I cannot stop the excitement in my voice.

“Oh wow baby that’s amazing!” Mason places a hand on my thigh and gives me a reassuring smile.

“Yeah it sounds amazing! The pay is INSANE, its only like 10 minutes from here. I will finally be able to start making a difference to people. Apparently the new operations manager is so awful so they reckon she will be leaving soon so you never know I could work my way up. Oh Mase honestly its so ideal, I got a lunch arranged tomorrow about it and they said I might even be able to start next week!” I couldn’t stop the grin that’s beaming off my face.

“Honestly y/n that sounds great. How did you find out about this?”  I felt my stomach drop I wasn’t sure how Mason is going to react. I have never given Mason a reason to doubt me but he wasn’t James’ biggest fan. He always thought James had a thing for me and became very protective around him. Mason has only met James a couple of times at my birthday parties or mutual events but every time Mason made sure to keep an eye on him.

“James” I reply sheepishly. I watched Mason’s face go into shock.

“James?.. are you serious? James really. What the hell is he doing offering you a job?” I can tell Mason seems a little pissed.

“James works for a mental health charity. He is literally like 2nd in charge but he doesn't want the service manager role so he thinking if he can get me in then I might be able to go for it. It sounds amazing Mase. Its got nothing to do with James, he is doing me a favour by getting me this job.” I can see Mason trying to contemplate his answer.

“Y/n you don’t even need a job, I told you to stop panicking and that I can provide for the both of us. Plus what does James get out of getting you this job? What is it like he gets you this job and he gets to get into your knickers?” I am taken back by Mason’s comment and cannot believe he could be actually that rude.

“James gets to have someone hard working and good at their job at his company. I don’t want to live off your money I want to make something for myself plus this has nothing to do with the crush that you THINK James has on me!” I can feel myself started to get a little heated.

“Oh Please Y/N! What other reason does James suddenly have to hire you. He just wants to sleep with you Y/N come on.”  I am now fuming at Mason.

“Oh yeah of course Mason cause God forbid someone actually hires me because I am good at my job and will smash it. Noooo its because I am a good little fuck. You know what fuck off Mason!” I shout the last part as I am storming out the room.

“Y/N wait I didn’t mean it like-“ I didn’t wait for his response as I continued to storm upstairs. I didn’t see Mason for the rest of the night as he gave me my space which I appreciated and I was asleep before he came to bed. I cannot believe he would ruin something I was so excited about like that. I just cannot believe he doesn’t trust me, I have never given him a reason not to trust me and look at him! I am so attracted to him why would I need anyone else? I just wish Mason could see that.

Its icy the next couple of days between me and Mason which we try and keep it civil and not discuss the whole James situation. Mason went off to training and as soon as he leaves I get ready for my lunch with James. I struggle to know what to wear as I want to look professional but also not too much as its not a job interview. I opt in for a little skirt and shirt with a suede jacket to make it look a little more casual.

We meet at the little Café that James wanted to meet at. He is already sat at the table when I arrive.

“Damn look at you” I see him look me up and down which makes me feel a little insecure. “So how have you been?” he asks. I explain about Mason and about the move to Manchester. I confided how it was hard being away from everyone which James is quick to reply with a wink and  a “well at least you know you got ally here” . I wasn’t sure how to respond, James was always flirty but he always knew nothing more would happen.

James tells me all about the job as we tuck into our lunch and coffee’s. It sounds amazing and just everything I wanted. At the end of lunch we argue over the bill which we finally agree to split and start to make our way back to our cars. I give James a small friendly hug and thanked him, which he was straight to respond “So when can you start?” I look at James confused.

“What do you mean? Don’t I need to come in and see your boss? Don’t I need my interview?”

“Well I told my boss all about you once we got off the phone. She absolutely loved you… well I did sell you a little. But in all honesty she knows she is going soon she is really not cut out to be the operations manager so she doesn’t want to interview you. She said she trusts me and well I trust you. So when do you want to start?”

I look at James with shock and I cannot contain my excitement, I am jumping up and down and give James a massive hug. “Thank you so much, honestly thank you. I can start Monday if that’s okay?”

“Perfect” he replies.

The drive home I am scream singing to my Spotify playlist. The past 3 years of Mason and I dating I have done everything for him this is the first time I am doing something for myself and no one can bring my mood down now. When I pull into the driveway my mood instantly changes, I am not sure if I want to tell Mason as he will probably just ruin my mood. I walk into the house slightly not wanting to argue right now.

Mason is the first one to speak “how did lunch go?”

“Good.” I replied bluntly. We haven’t spoken much since the argument the other day so its still a little sour between us.

“Come on I mean it please baby how did it go? I really wanna know.” I admit defeat and wrap my arms around Mason’s neck. I always hated being angry with him.

“It went so great. He said I can start Monday. I honestly cannot believe it Mason. This job is so perfect for me. I cannot believe it.”

Mason wraps one arm around my waist and places the other throw my hair. “I am so proud of you. You are going to be amazing.”

The next 4 months are a whirlwind. The job is everything I wanted and more. Our boss handed her notice of resignation in last month confirming she will be leaving in 2 months time. That leaves me and James to work our ass’s off to get everything ready for our managers departure. There are a lot of talk from our higher up management about me taking the position of service manager which is making me work even harder now I am in the limelight. I am having the time of my life, the problem is Mason isn’t having the same, he is struggling at United. His injuries are getting the better of him and when he is playing he isn’t having the best games. I am trying to be as supportive as I can but its difficult when I am so busy too.

Me and Mason have hardly seen eachother the past couple of weeks, he has been training trying to overcome his injury and I am asleep by the time he is home or the days he gets off early I am working late. Its been tough the past couple of weeks but I just keep trying to tell myself things will get better once I get this promotion.

Its another night of working late again, I messaged Mason earlier today to tell him not to wait up and I will be late. There is 150 cases me and James need to sort through and organise ready for our meeting with the CEO tomorrow. I have my headphones on and I am in the zone as I am typing away when I see my phone ring. I look down and see our picture, knowing Mason was calling. The picture was taken on our family holiday to Greece, it was one of my favourite holidays. Now I am suddenly missing the closeness with Mason. I quickly answer it.

“Hey baby I am so sorry I did say earlier I was going to be late its just-“ Mason cuts me off.

“Come on Y/N its 8pm. Its our anniversary. You promised I would actually see you tonight.” Shit I completely forgot it was our anniversary I completely forget.

“I am sorry baby I only got a couple more hours here then I will be straight home. I will make it up to you. I will wear the red lace outfit you like? Then I promise we will go out for a nice dinner tomorrow. I will turn my phone off so no distractions I promise please just let me have tonight”.  I tried to lighten the mood a little.

“Y/N I tired of having a relationship with your voicemail. I have hardly seen you in weeks. I know its because of your job and soon it will sort it self out but its anniversary. Come on everything will still be there tomorrow just come home” I can hear him pleading. I feel awful.

I go to answer when James walks over “another glass of wine?” he asks. I am quickly shaking my head to shut him up hoping that Mason didn’t hear. I really don’t want an argument tonight.

“Who is that? Is that James?” I can hear the anger in his voice. Here we go I thought.

“yeah James is helping me sort these cases out ready for our meeting in the morning” I am trying to justify.

“Okay great.. so you are spending our anniversary drinking wine with James. Yep makes sense” I can tell he is pissed off.

“Come on Mase don’t start. Its late you have had a long day of training you are probably knackered please don’t start an argument you know that doesn’t need to happen” I am begging now I haven’t got it in me to have this argument right now.

“Well Y/N I am your boyfriend and you see James more then you see me right now so what does that make that?”

I don’t even know what to respond, “you know what Mason I am done with this conversation”

“Great have a nice evening bye” He then hangs up the phone. No matter how angry we are we always say a little ‘love you’ at the end I cannot believe he just hung up. I know I have fucked up now. I can feel the tears in my eyes. I looked up at James who gives me a look of pity “Go” he says, which I mutter a quick thank you and pack my stuff up.

I quickly drive home and run through the door. Mason is sat on the sofa on his phone and doesn’t even acknowledge that I have come home. I stand in the doorway for a little just staring at him but he doesn’t look up from his phone. “I’m sorry” I mutter. He still doesn’t look up. I slowly walk over to him and straddle his hips. He sighs and rolls his eyes. “I’m an idiot Mase come on forgive me” I start kissing his cheek and make my way down to his neck.

I can hear Mason moan as I grind my hips into him but he pushes me off. “Stop I am not in the mood” I let a deep breathe out. “I know I fucked up Mase but I am here now lets enjoy our anniversary. Please I don’t want to argue”.  

“Then you should of thought about that before you decided to spend our anniversary drinking wine with James”

“Oh come on Mason this James bullshit is getting boring. We are working Mase, we are trying to get this presentation completed for tomorrow. I have been there through all of your work shit, come on I moved to fucking Manchester and left my whole life behind for you. All I am asking is for you to be understanding that I am working hard now for my promotion. Stop being selfish”

“Its not about me being selfish. I am completely understanding of your job I just don’t understand why he needs to be up your ass 24/7?”

“Oh come on Mase this is childish. We are working Mason. James is amazing at his job and he is helping me out so I can get my promotion”

“Yeah and what does he want in return?”  I shoot Mason a look, this argument is now getting heated.

“He doesn’t want anything Mason. Maybe he just isn’t selfish like you and wants to actually see other people succeed”

“I want you to succeed Y/N, and you are going to do amazing as the manager and I am so damn proud of you. But you are my girlfriend and I am sick of not seeing you whilst James sees you every minute of every fucking day”

“Stop being jealous Mason its not a good look on you. I have never given you a reason to not trust me, I fucking love you and only you. Get over yourself” I feel so tired I can feel my eyes starting to droop and my anger is getting higher by the minute.

“Well you are spending our anniversary drinking wine with James instead of me”

“We are working Mason! I cannot keep having this same argument with you. I am too tired”

“Exactly Y/N you are too tired. That’s all you have ever been lately, but never too tired for James. I trust you but I don’t trust him. He has got a thing for you Y/N and you are just leading him on by spending all this time with him.”

“I am not doing anything Mason. I am working, I am doing my job. I cannot do this Mason! I am tired of every time we see eachother we argue and we fight over the same stupid shit!” I am now screaming. “You know what Mase, maybe we should just take a break”.

Mason nods “Great idea, you go for a bath and I will cook dinner”

I can feel the sting of the tears in my eyes “no Mase I mean a break from us”  Mason doesn’t reply he stands there staring at me in disbelief. He turns on his heals and walks out the house slamming the door behind him.

I can feel myself drop to the ground as I let the tears out, I didn’t want him to leave I just needed the shouting to stop. I am so tired, I am drained from work and drained from the arguments with Mason I was just so fed up.

I don’t know how long I have been sat there but I see James’ number show up on my phone “Hey I am so sorry for ringing you during your anniversary meal. Is it a bad time?”  I am trying to sniffle to the tears in. “Are you crying? Whats happened?”  he questions.

“I am okay, Mason and I had an argument. He left. Whats up?”

“Uh shit Y/N I am sorry. I should of never asked you to work today. I am sorry, look I still got a half bottle of wine and I really need your help with this last case I keep looking over it and I think I am just too tired I don’t suppose you could help?”

“Sure come over. Mason won’t be home anytime soon”

Mason’s POV

I shouldn’t of walked out but I am just so broken, how could you call a break? I get we both are tired and strained from not seeing eachother but to call a break really. I just didn’t know how to react.

I started walking then realised I had no where to go. That’s when I remember Declan is in Manchester as he played City yesterday and we were due to see Declan and Lauren for dinner tomorrow which I am now guessing will be cancelled. I quickly ring Declan, he answers after 2 rings “Yo Mase how you doing?” I don’t even know how to respond to that, I am anything but good right now.

“Not great, me and Y/N just had a fight. Just need to let off some steam”  I could hardly hear Declan he must be in a club somewhere all I can hear is the base.

“I am out with some of the Arsenal boys to the celebrate the win from yesterday. You are more then welcome to join I can send you the address?”

I quickly agree and Declan tells me the club he is at and I quickly order an uber. I know you get the uber receipt so I know you see that I am going to a club. When the uber pulls up the sound of the club suddenly hits me. I speak to the bouncer who lets me straight in and I make my way up to the booth Declan is at. It’s a lot more quieter over in this section.

I quickly get a couple of drinks in me to catch up and quickly explain the fight to Declan and the boys. I continue to drink at this point and now the alcohol is starting to hit me, all I can think about is you. What have I done? I turn to Dec:

“Did I just make an awful mistake causing that fight with Y/N?”

“Well has she done anything with this James? Anything that makes you think she will cheat? She tells Lauren everything and this James has never come up so I am confused?”

“Well not exactly… He fancies the fuck out of her which is clear and she is just spending all this time with him and neglecting our relationship. Nothing has happened they work together but I just know he wants her?”

“But she doesn’t want him? Y/N loves you more then anything Mase she would never do anything to hurt you. I get you are jealous we all get jealous sometimes when someone wants something that is ours but doesn’t mean that she will ever do anything to hurt you.”

I knew Declan was right, I cannot believe this was all because I was jealous of some guy. I quickly explained that I was going to call you. I quickly went outside the club where it was quiet and rang your number. I see your face light up the phone as its ringing, you are the most beautiful girl in the world. The line continued to ring forever which I see its passed midnight so you have probably fallen asleep that’s when the line connects.

“Hello” the voice answers. That’s James’ voice wtf. Why is he answering your phone? Why is he with you after midnight just after you called a break? Have you slept with him? Whats happened? I cannot believe we just broke up and you went running to him. I am fuming. I quickly hung the phone up and storm back inside.

I can feel the anger burning inside of me, that’s when I see a little blonde girl stood over at the bar. She is speaking to her friend but keeps flicking her eyes in my direction. I look her up and down. I hate myself for even looking at her like that. But if Y/N cheated then I am free to do the same.

I go over there and start talking to her, I offer her a drink which she agrees. She is the exact opposite to you. She is short and has the tinniest dress on that only just covers her bum. She has a head full of extensions and cover in fake tan. I love how you are more natural, you are my type in every way but tonight anger and alcohol have overtaken me.

The last thing I remember is having her grinding on me while Dec keeps asking me what the hell I am doing? I feel her tongue in my mouth and it feels foreign and wrong but I take another shot and then that’s the last thing I remember.

The next thing I know I am waking up, my head is pounding and I feel like I am going to be sick. I look over and I see the girl I was dancing with curled up next to me naked and now I want to be sick again but for a different reason. I hate myself I cannot believe I have done this.

I quickly look at my phone and its 6am in the morning, I see a couple of messages from Dec asking what the hell happened. I see a voicemail from you. I quickly get dressed and make my way out. I see her roommate sitting in the kitchen which looks straight to the bedroom door. I put my head down and continue to the front door. Once outside I listen to the voicemail:

“Please answer Mase I am sorry, you were right. Once you left James called saying he was stuck on the last case and needed my help. I let him come over and I told him what happened. He confessed his feelings for me and tried to kiss me. I pushed him away Mason and told him to get out. I don’t want him. Look I only want you. I will quit my job if it will make you feel better please I just want us, you are all that matters to me. Please come home so we can talk about this please baby. I love you”.

Fuck now I feel even more sick, nothing happened between you two and now I slept with someone for nothing. This cannot be happening. When I get home I see you are curled up in bed sleeping on my side, you usually do this as you say it has my scent. I curl up next to you and spoon you, “I love you more then you will ever know baby girl” you hum into me and relax into my arms knowing I am home.

“Mase I am sorry” I hear you mutter. “Me too baby girl. Its okay we are all okay” I say as I trace my finger up your back to send you to sleep. I can’t let you find out, I cannot break your heart.

Readers POV

The next couple of weeks are perfect, I got the role as operations manager and things has calmed down at work. Now that I have been promoted I barely have time to talk to James and if I do its strictly about work. I am home so much more and Mason is making sure he spends all his free time with me. We are perfect and the happiest we have been in ages, so maybe that fight did help. Me and Mason didn’t really discuss the fight, we just moved on.

I am eating my lunch at my desk, when Maria from HR knocks on the door.

“Sorry are you on lunch I can come back?” I quickly swallow my mouthful and tell her its fine and she comes in and sit across the desk opposite me.

“Look I have been really debating whether or not to say anything but I know if it was me I would like to know?” I haven’t really had much dealings with Maria since I have started only really HR inquiries regarding staff I am wondering what she was talking about. Is someone talking about me behind my back. I am wondering.

“Look I know its not my place as it’s a personal issue but as I said before if it was me I would like to know. A couple of weeks ago my roommate went on a night out with her friends. She came home with this guy, I didn’t really get too much of a look until the morning when he snuck out of her bedroom. I saw that it was Mason Mount. I asked her about it and she confirmed they slept together, she isn’t into football so has no idea who he is so she has no reason to lie about it. James let is slip a couple of days ago that you are dating Mason and I have been fighting with my head ever since whether or not to say anything to you”.

“James had no right to discuss my personal life with you, I like to keep things very personal. But I appreciate you telling me thank you”

Maria didn’t really say much else and escorted herself out, I can feel the tears rolling down my face once I am alone and my heart is beating erratically. Mason has always had a lot of cheating rumours out but never this close to home, plus he never came home from our fight until after 6am and everytime I ask where he went he brushes over the question so it makes a lot of sense. I quickly wipe my eyes and call my assistant in “look I have a family emergency and need to go home can you block my diary out for the rest of the day. I will be back tomorrow”. She nods and I dart out of the office and make my way to my car. As soon as I am in the safety of my car I let the tears roll as I scream cry into the steering wheel. I have to confront Mason about this as I make the journey back to the house, the longest journey of my life.

Mason comes home about 20 minutes after me, I am sat on the sofa trying to control my breathing when I hear the key in the door. “Babe you are home early? All okay?” I hear Mason shout as he makes his way through the house. He stops in the living room doorway when he spots me “Why are you crying? Whats happened?” He quickly runs over to me and wraps me in his arms.

“Get off me!” I shout but its not very loud over the sound of my sniffles as I push him away. He looks confused.

“What have I done?” Mason asks, I can tell he has no idea what has happened. Just for a second I hope that maybe what was said was wrong but I know deep down my gut knows the truth.

“Come on Mason at least give me the courtesy of telling me the truth please” I am now crying and really cannot control my breathe as I am hyperventilating. Mason still looks at me confused I hate that he is playing dumb. “A-After our fight, w-where d-did y-you g-go?” I try and get out but my tears are causing me to struggle.

“I told you baby I went to the club with Declan and some of the boys? Whats this all about?” he tries to rub my leg  to comfort me but the look I give him he quickly removes his hand.

“No Mason! After the club where did you go?”  I can see the panic in his eyes, I can see him trying to work out how much I know?

“I told you that I ended up crashing at a hotel as I wasn’t sure if you wanted me home?” He lies very well I am thinking.

“You see Mason that’s not all true is it?” I can see him swallow and the panic is starting to set in “one of the girls I work with saw you come out of their roommates bedroom in the morning. I didn’t want to believe her so I rang your assistant and asked for the name of the hotel that you stayed at that night which she provided. The problem is that I rang that hotel pretending to be your assistant and ask for a copy of the receipt, they said it was booked but you never actually checked in so they decided not to charge you. So you never stayed there Mason so why lie? You covered your tracks very well telling your assistant to book that room but just didn’t cover your tracks good enough I suppose.” I can feel the tears rolling down my face which I cannot stop.

“Please baby I am sorry it was stupid it meant nothing that’s why I lied. I know it would break you I wanted to protect you.” I can feel myself break at his words my heart is shattering. I can see Mason’s tears rolling down his face too.

“Why did you do it? We had a fight Mason. All relationships do that. Please we have had worst arguments in the past so why did you decide to go fuck someone else. Was I just not enough for you anymore?”

Mason places his hands on mine, “No baby please don’t think that. You are perfect, you are everything! I was stupid and way too drunk I don’t even remember it please believe me.”

“You have been drunk many times in the past and haven’t cheated so why this time? Or have you cheated in the past and just lied about that too?”

“No please I have never cheated before. Please this time was a stupid fucking mistake y/n please believe me.”

“I feel like there is more to it Mason! Why this time? Why this fight did you just go out and decide to fuck someone else?!” I shout knowing Mason is holding back on the truth.

“Look okay I went out to the club with Declan and the boys to let some steam off. They talked sense into me and I went to ring you about midnight to apologise. When I rang James answered the phone. I thought that you slept with him okay I was angry and hurt-“

“So you thought that two wrongs make a right!”

“I know it was childish okay I was just pissed off that you went running straight to him and I thought with the time that maybe something happened. I wasn’t thinking okay baby I am sorry please forgive me. I made a stupid mistake. Then when I woke up in the morning and you left that voicemail putting the story straight about what happened with James I felt awful I just didn’t want to loose you”. Mason is now crying hard and keeps playing with his hair.

I took a deep breathe trying to hold myself together “okay Mase. Say that I did sleep with James. Would you of forgiven me?”

“Of course I would baby. Its you!”

“So you would have been okay knowing that James has been intimate with me? That has seen me naked? That he touched me, placed his hands all over my body? Made me cum-“

“Okay Okay” Mason cuts me off. “I would have been hurt yes of course I would. It would of broken me. But I couldn’t of let you go y/n. You mean so much to me I couldn’t of just thrown away everything we have”.

“Well Mason you kinda already have, you throw everything with us away the second you decided to cheat”.

“Please y/n p-please” Mason is a completely mess. “Just tell me what you want and I will do it. I will do anything to make things okay.”  Mason then grabs me and pushes a deep kiss onto me, I don’t kiss him back I just sit there and gently push Mason off me. He lays on my chest crying into me which is hurting me more. I hate seeing Mason so broken but I have to remember he is the one that done this.

I grab Mason’s face so he looks me in my eyes “I want you to leave Mason that’s what I want” .

Mason pulls away from me and gives me a pissed look “I am not leaving.” He is stern with that comment.

“Okay so you made me move to Manchester where I have no one and then won’t even let me stay in the house where am I even going to go? I haven’t even been paid yet. So you really going to let me leave knowing I have no one and no money, wow I guess I know what kind of guy you are really like that.”

I can tell Mason is hurt by this, he was always a gentleman and I know deep down he won’t just leave me on the street with nothing. “I mean both of us are not leaving y/n, we can both stay and sort this out.”

“Sort what out Mason? You cheated on me there is nothing to sort out”

“I didn’t technically cheat! We were on a break” I look at Mason with so much disgust at that comment.

“I called a break because I was angry at having the same argument. Not because I stopped loving you! But I guess you did because if you loved me you wouldn’t of just slept with the next slag you saw!”

“Please y/n I love you more then anything. It was a mistake please lets just talk about this. We can sort it please its us”.

“Okay how was she?” Mason looks pissed at this question

“What kind of fucking question is that Y/N?” I can see the hurt in his eyes. Its breaking his heart just as much as its breaking mine.

“You wanted to talk about it.. so lets talk about it! How was she?”  Mason ignored my question knowing whatever answers he makes will make the situation worse. He knows I am currently in the argumentative mood. I am getting fed up of Mason just looking at me. At this point we both stood up in the middle of the living room just staring at eachother. “Come on Mase.. did it feel good to hold her? To feel all over her body? To feel the warmness of that-“

“Fucking stop it Y/N!” Mason shouted interrupting me. “what will it take for all of this to go away Y/N?. Name it and I will do anything please, I will give you time if that’s what you need, I will get on my hands and knees and beg if that’s what you want please baby just don’t leave me. I need you”. I heard his voice break at the last sentence. All I want is to wrap him up and make everything okay, but I have to stay strong. I have to make myself remember what Mason did to me.

“Just give me some time okay Mase. I gotta go” I didn’t wait for Mason to reply. I grabbed my phone and keys off the side and made my way to the car and just drove. I had no idea where I was going but I just let the tears fall.

Mason’s POV

Its been 2 weeks since you left and I cannot breathe, I am an absolute mess. I cannot even bring myself to tell anyone we broke up, when my family asked why you not attending family lunch I just kept saying you are ill or working. I feel like if I tell people the truth then I have to admit to myself its real.

The only person that knows the truth is Declan I rang him that night that you left I was a mess and couldn’t contain myself. I loved you more then words could say and I made a mistake. As soon as a I blurted out everything that happened to Dec his reply was:

“I know mate”

“What do you mean you know?” I asked confused

“Come on, her and Lauren talk like everyday. Where do you think she has gone?” I feel my heart suddenly drop I am gutted that she went there, part of me hoped she would drive around for a couple of hours then come home but deep down I knew she wasn’t coming back.

“How is she?” I asked

“Uh not great mate. She is a mess. Just give her some time Mase. You never know she might come around.”

At that sentence my heart broke, I know I had to give you space. At least I know you are safe with our friends which is the main thing. A couple of days later I got a message from you it was only 9am but I was getting ready to leave for training “Are you at training today?” I felt the excitement in me, did you want to talk this out? Are you going to take me back? I quickly replied “Yeah I am at training until 5pm. Did you want to see me? I can try and get out early or I can meet you afterwards? Xxx” You didn’t reply to that message but after training I saw on the ring doorbell that you had been at the house. I quickly drove home hoping you were there, the house looked the same but you weren’t here. When I went to the bedroom I saw all of your things were gone. Its officially over. I sat on my bed and let the tears fall.

Its been 6 months since the breakup, I have tried to message you and call you but all was ignored. I even offered to buy you a flat so you could stay near your job but again nothing. I ask Lauren and Dec about you which they just keep it basic saying that you are doing well and your job is good. You stayed in Manchester which I am grateful for and I really hope that one day we will bump into each other. They don’t really give me anymore information telling me to move on. I wonder if you have moved on too.

Reader’s POV

I am excited for tonight, its Declan’s birthday and they are having a big party at a club. It’s the 1st time I have been out in the months. Work has been crazy I felt like I haven’t stopped in the months. To be honest I have thrown myself into work to not think about Mason. Even the thought of him makes me want to throw up, my heart melts at the thought of those eyes.

I am going to see him tonight so I need to be strong. At least I am not showing up alone, I have been dating this guy for a couple a weeks. Nothing serious just seeing how things are going, when I compare him to Mason there is no competition, Mason was perfect! But at the same time he broke my heart so maybe perfect isn’t perfect.

I am curling the last couple of strands of my hair when I hear a knock at my flat door, I quickly go to open it and see Danny standing there. Danny walks straight passed me and throws himself on the sofa in the living room without a word.

“Ugh I could so do with not going tonight!” I give him a sympathetic look.

“Sorry baby did you want a drink?” I ask “you know you don’t have to go tonight if you don’t want to”.

“Its okay I told my friends I would pop in it would be rude not to now” Its also Danny’s friends birthday and he is going to the same club which done us a favour as we can attend both events at once. Obviously Dec’s will probably be in a private area of the club but still at least Danny can see his friends.

Danny looks me up and down “are you seriously wearing that?” I look down at myself I am only wearing a simple black mini dress with my Louis Vuitton heals that’s Mason brought me years ago but they are my only nice heals.

I suddenly feel insecure “whats wrong with what I am wearing?”

“Nothing really just short.”

“I thought I looked nice.” I replied. Danny just looked me up and down again and didn’t say a word. Mason would never make me feel like that, he always made sure to pay me a compliment. I am usually insecure especially going to events like this with loads of pretty girls, and now I feel like shit. But I am not with Mason anymore so I get that thought out of my head and put my big girl pants on.

I am finishing getting ready when Danny stands in the doorway shouting at me “The taxi is here y/n for fuck sake hurry up”. I quickly run to the door and follow him out, as soon as we are in the taxi I can feel the coldness on my arms I definitely should of brought a coat.

As we walk into the club its very loud. I suddenly feel a rush of anxiety. I look around and Danny has already left my side and ran over to his mates. I roll my eyes at his sudden abandonment. I go to walk over to the bar when I see Paige and Rita. They are both WAGs who I got close to when me and Mason moved down. “Hey babes! I haven’t seen you in ages” Paige said and walks me over to the bar.

The rest of the night is amazing, I go over to speak to Declan and I am chatting away with everyone. I haven’t seen a lot of them since Mason and I broke up so it was nice to have a chat. I am stood at the bar going to order another drink when I feel a presence next to me. When I turn I see Mason has taken the space.

“What you drinking?” He asks. Damn it he looks fucking fit. I can feel butterflies in my stomach.

“Vodka lemonade please” I reply. Mason nods and orders 2 vodka lemonades

“So how have you been?” Mason asks he looks nervous as he keeps looking down, “you look incredible by the way” I can feel myself blushing and my heart pounding in my chest.

“Thank you Mase. You look good too. Hope you are doing well” I am so nervous I do not know what to say. We haven’t spoken a word since the break up.

“I have been alright I guess. Injuries have caught up so not great. Hard not having you around.” I give Mason a small smile. I have been watching his career and know about his injuries.

“I will always be your number one fan Mase” I give Mason a little wink and thank him for the drink and walk back to the girls.

The rest of the night all I can think about was that conversation. I can see Mason look over at me now and again everytime our eyes meet we smile and quickly look away. I am having a great night dancing away, I am quite tipsy with the amount of alcohol consumed. I am chatting away to Rita when I feel a tug on my wrist. “We are going home now!” Danny lowly shouts in my ear. He pulls me away from Rita so I am isolated. “My friends have left now and I am not sitting here with these people so lets go!”. I can tell Danny has had quite a lot to drink, his eyes are dark.

“I am not going yet, I haven’t seen these people in a long time so I want to stay for a little. I can meet you back at mine later if you want?”

Danny gives me a look whilst his grip tightens on my wrist “No you are coming with me! And we are leaving now!”

I have never seen Danny like this and its scaring me. “Danny please let me go you are scaring me”  I say trying to get my wrist free.

He tightens his grip and I can feel my wrist bruising, “we are leaving now” he repeats and starts trying to drag me out.

"Danny let the fuck go!” I shout as I try to pull my wrist again.

Next thing you know I feel a hand around my waist. “If I were you mate I would let her go” I turn to look at Mason and can see the anger in his eyes. Danny releases his grip on my wrist enough for my to pull my wrist away. I can feel the sting as the bruising has started. Danny squares up to Mason.

He then turns to me and looks me up and down “fuck you anyway y/n, you are dressed like an absolute slag anyway!” Mason goes to raise his hand which I quickly grab it and lower it back down before anyone sees. “He’s not worth it” I whisper into Mason’s ear. At that Danny walked away. Mason turns to me and inspects my wrist “are you okay?” he asks. I nod and quickly run out of the club embarrassed at the scene that Danny has just caused.

I feel the cold air hit me as I reach outside. Its freezing and I look at my phone it is 10pm so its pitch black. I can feel my heart start to calm down after that confrontation. I am just about to go inside due to not being able to feel my arms any longer due to the cold I see Mason approach in front of me. He quickly takes off his coat and puts it over my shoulders.

“Thank you for the coat and for inside” I can hear how nervous I sound.

“Its no worries. What are you doing with a prick like that anyway? I thought you had better taste?”

I giggle “well I thought I had better taste as well but hear we are. Apparently I go for cheaters or arseholes apparently.”

“Ouch” Mason says holding his heart and we both giggle.

“I mean it Mase thank you for what you did in there. I really appreciate”

“Don’t be silly I will always come to your rescue” he winks “don’t listen to him. You look fucking incredible y/n by the way. Don’t let him ruin your night.”

“Thank you. I am probably just going to make a move”

Mason looks disappointment “you leaving already? Come on I didn’t get a dance yet”

I cannot tell if Mason is just trying to cheer me up or trying to flirt “Dance? What you Mason Mount is going to dance with me? What you going to dance like this?” I reply doing his celebratory dance.

Mason laughs at my re-enactment. “Please just stay. Declan would be gutted if you left because of that prick”

I nod “I am doing it for Dec, not you tho Mount.”

“Your staying.. so I am taking that as a win”

Mason guides me back inside and takes the coat of my shoulder, he doesn’t leave my side the whole night. Getting me drinks, swaying with me to the music. We even share a little kiss, I can see Declan sniggering in the background.

I look at the time and see its nearing midnight and I can feel my legs hurting from the heals. I am holding onto Mason for balance at the moment. “I think I best get going” I say to Mason.

He looks down at me and places and strand of hair behind my ears “It is getting late, I am probably going to get going too. I will order us a taxi”.

“Mase I literally live in the complete opposite direction to town to you. I can get my own taxi honestly its fine”

We walk around and say our goodbyes to everyone and meet again in the middle as Mason leads me out the club and wraps his coat around me again.

“I wasn’t offering about the taxi I was telling. Its early hours of the morning and do you really think I am going to let you get a taxi on your own?” I nod knowing Mason isn’t going to give in. Mason asks me for my address.

“Shit” I say. Mason looks at me confused. “What you forgotten your address or something?” he laughs.

I roll my eyes at him. “No! I gave Danny a set of my keys as he was suppose to stay tonight. Fuck I really don’t want to go home in case he is there waiting for me. Um maybe take me to the nearest hotel and I will stay there for the night and then I can get the locks changed tomorrow”.

“Absolutely not! You got no clothes and are not staying in a hotel on your own.”

“What do you suggest then?” I shiver now really starting to feel the cold even with Mason’s coat wrapped around me.

“Maybe you can come back to mine? Not like that before you think anything but you can wear my clothes and at least you will be comfortable.”

I looked at Mason debating his offer. As much as I really don’t want to go to his house, the house we used to share together. I really do not want to go home and be confronted by Danny. I nodded accepting Mason’s offer.

The taxi ride was silent, we both sat there looking out the window. You could cut the tension with a knife. We both wanted to say something but at the same time we both couldn’t bring ourselves to say anything.

As we pull up the drive way, I can see Mason looking at me. I have been walking apprehensivly into the house as I take a slow stride. Mason walks straight in and throws his keys in the bowl and starts taking off his shoes. I am still stood in the doorway just looking around. “It hasn’t changed.” I commented.

“Of course not. Not much has changed since you left to be honest” I continue to walk around like the surroundings were new to me eventhough 6 months ago this was the place I called home. All the memories come flooding back of the last time we were stood there together or us shouting and fighting. The heartbreak that I felt. I can feel a tear rolling down my cheek. Mason quickly walks over to me and wipes the tear away. “Why you crying beautiful?” I try and give him a fake smile which I know he can see straight through.

“I don’t know. I think I am just drunk and tired you know” I try and put on a brave face.

“Come on Y/N you actually think I believe that?”

“Okay its just shit you know, we were so perfect and to think the last time we were stood here what happened. Its just so fucked you know”

“I know. Believe me I go through that fight every day in my head. My biggest mistake I ever made was letting you go. Everyone says it.”

I continue to look down, I have no words. Mason takes the coat from me and I feel a sudden hit of coldness again.

“You can have a shower if you want? You look frozen”

I nod my head as I follow Mason up the stairs. He passes me a set of towels. I am not sure where the confidence comes from. “Will you join me?” I ask. I can feel my heart beating waiting for his reply.

Mason nears closer to me “are you sure? I mean I am definitely up for that but are you sure you are?”

“Yeah I am shattered I would love for you to shower me right now”

Mason nods and starts stripping. I am trying my hardest not to watch but as he starts removing his shirt and I see those abs I can feel my mouth water. That’s when I realise I am standing there staring for too long as he is left in his boxers and I am still fully clothed.

“You kinda have to get undressed to go for a shower” Mason jokes

“Uh y-yeah of course” I stutter

I slowly take my dress of leaving me in my little black underwear set which Mason eyes are instantly on me. I quickly try and cover myself up feeling all of a sudden insecure.

“You know you don’t need to do it. I have seen you naked like a thousand times. Besides you have the most sexiest body in the world” I quickly relax at Mason’s comment he always knew how to make me feel good about myself.

I make my way to the bathroom and start the shower. Mason comes in with a hair clip. I look at him confused. “You left the clip here and I just couldn’t bring myself to throw it away. I know you don’t like getting your hair wet when its not ‘hair wash day’” He used his fingers to empathises the ‘hair way day’ which I giggle at him remembering the memory. I thanked him and wrapped my hair into the clip.

I strip out of my underwear and get under the water, the hot water hitting my cold skin is like ecstasy. Mason then opens the door to join me, we stand a metre apart just staring at eachother both not knowing how to act. He grabs the body wash from the side and slowly lathers it into my body, the feeling of his hands on my body is unexplainable. Its like all I ever need.

I stand relaxing into his touch as we continue in the shower. “You can go get dry and I will finish showering?” Mason offers. I quickly wrap the towel around my body and make my way back into the bedroom. I open Mason’s draws and quickly pull a pair of his boxers and t-shirts and quickly put it on.

I go back into the bathroom to wash my face “I have never known someone to look so fit in a pair of mens boxers you know” I blush at Mason and continue to wash my face. Mason comes up behind me, the specks of water trailing down his chest with the towel wrapped around his abdomen. He turns me around facing him, I can feel his breathe on my neck which is giving me goosebumps.

“I really hate you for you did to me. How you broke my heart”

Mason pulls me closer so we are chest to chest “I really hate how you turned up to my bestfriends birthday with some dickhead”.

“I guess we both made mistakes.” I commented. Mason nods and hums to my comment. I can see him look between my lips and my eyes. I do the same. I feel myself wrap my arms around Mason’s neck to bring him closer. Mason places one hand on my waist and the other on the sink trapping me between him and the sink. I feel him slowly lower his lips to mine, it’s a soft patient kiss. He pulls aways and waits for my reaction. All I know in this moment is that I need him.

I pull Mason closer and continue the kiss but this time with passion and urgency. I use one of my hands through his hair as I grab it as a way of a controlling the kiss. I hear him moan into the kiss as a response. I can feel his tongue darting around my lips attempting to get access which I allow, we deepen the kiss and he places his hands on my bum as he pushes himself closer into me and I can feel his bulge growing under the towel.

He slowly starts removing the boxers which he looks me in the eye to make sure I am okay. At this moment I am not stopping him, I am not thinking all I want is him. Once the boxers are removed he grabs me again and continues the kiss this time he is the one dominating the kiss. He quickly picks me up and places me on the bathroom side. Mason spreads my legs and stands inbetween them with his lips attached back to mine. He has one hand on my face controlling the kiss and the one hand under the tshirt exploring my body. I can feel the way his hand is caressing my boob as I feel his finger slip over my nipple causing me to moan. I can feel his dick starting to harden. I take the towel off of his hips and let his dick spring up. I reach down between us and wipe the precum of the top of his dick with my thumb and wipe it down the shaft as I start to make steady movements.

Mason puts his head back at my actions “fuck y/n that feels incredible” it is urging me on more. I can feel myself get wet at the sight of Mason feeling pleasure. Mason quickly grabs my hand to steady my movements. I let go and look at Mason confused as if I have done something wrong.

Mason is quick to reassure me “Its not you its just that I haven’t felt your hands in a long time and I am really close. You are way too good at that and I really want to cum inside you” I giggle at how innocent Mason sounds.

I start kissing Mason’s neck and giving it a small suck probably leaving a hickey I then whisper in his ear trying my best to be seductive “well why don’t you cum inside me then” Mason brings my head up so we are eye level and I can see the lust in his eyes. He shakes his head “No baby I wanna taste you first”.

I feel my heart skip a beat as Mason pulls away and gets on his knees in front of the sink where I am sat. He opens my legs wide and makes small kisses to my thighs slowly working his way to my centre. I can feel myself getting wetter at the anticipation. Mason tongue then darts across my centre and a moan of his name escapes my lips. I can feel Mason smile into me. He continues to lick my centre and then I can feel him teasing my clit with his tongue, he always knew how to make me feel good. “Uh Mase please” I beg. He stops and looks me up into the eyes and I can feel my heart melt. He gives me such a cocky smile, he knows how good he makes me feel. He sucks on two of his fingers and slowly inserts them into me which I have to take a sharp breathe at the sudden impact inside of me. Mason then returns his tongue to my clit working his magic. Its only taking a couple of minutes before I am nearing my high. I put my hands straight through his hair pulling myself closer to him needing his touch, that’s all I can focus on right now. Mason breathes onto me “Come on baby be a good girl and cum for me” at his words I am trembling as I unravel with my orgasm.

Mason stands straight up inbetween my legs attaching his lips to me, I can taste my cum on his lips, Mason picks me up and walks me over to the bed. As he is carrying me I take this opportunity to take the top off that I am wearing. Mason mouth goes straight to my nipple sucking it, which I cannot hold in the moan that escapes me. Mason throws me onto the bed “I could hear your moans all day. I love that sound”  Mason says as he crawls over the top of me. He separates my legs with his ensuring he is inbetween mine. Mason continues to kiss me as he grinds himself down which I can feel his dick throbbing inbetween us.

I start kissing and nibbling Mason’s neck which I can feel the hickey I am leaving behind “Uh y/n/n that feels amazing.” This fuels me on more as I make sure to keep grinding my hips back into Mason’s, and I can tell I am driving him insane. Mason pulls away. “I gotta put it inside you. I need to feel that pussy” I give Mason a smile in agreement knowing I need him just as much right now. He goes to line himself up with me but then stops and looks at me.

“Are you still on the pill? I am um don’t have any you know here” I give Mason a little giggle at how embarrassed he sounds about it. “Oh wow the famous Mason Mount has no condoms in his house! Bloody hell what have you been upto to have run out of condoms?”  I tease Mason “but yes I am still on the pill but at the same time how many girls have you been sleeping with cause I really do not want to be catching anything?” I am have now pushed myself up with my arms so I am now sitting up and Mason is now sitting on his knees in front of me, his dick still as hard as ever though.

“Honestly I have only slept with 2 girls and both times I used protection so I know I am clean but I could ask you the same question cause Danny the prick looks like he has been around” Mason jokes.

I roll my eyes but take a deep breath as a response “I haven’t slept with anyone, I haven’t actually slept with Danny. We have done stuff but not actually fucked. I have been totally celibate since we broke up.” Mason looks at me shocked.

“Wait hold on you haven’t slept with anyone. Not even that Danny damn” I can tell that has majorly increased Mason’s ego knowing no one else has actually be inside me since we broke up. I quickly speak up not wanting to increase his ego more. “Will you just fuck me Mason. I need you inside me now!” Mason quickly climbs back onto of me straight away and gives me a passionate kiss in return. He gives himself a couple of pumps and then lines himself up with me.

He gives it a couple of seconds and lets me adjust to his size, I can feel my walls tighten against him. “You can move Mase” I say and Mason doesn’t waste any time getting into a rhythm. I continue to moan Mason’s name, his cock is something else and I can feel myself edging towards my orgasm.

Mason looks me in the eyes as he continues his rhythm “I am sorry baby girl but I need to ruin you right now” I can see the lust in his eyes. He grabs one of my legs and puts it over his shoulder and does the same with the other. He then grabs the back of my thighs and starts pounding into me. The new position has made his dick go further inside me.  I can feel Mason’s rhythm has started to get sloppy as I can feel him nearing his orgasm. “Have you got another one in there for my baby?” I moan in response but then Mason reaches down to play with my clit to help me edge closer, Mason then hits that sweet spot and I am seeing stars as I grab onto the duvet as I let myself go. Mason then cums alongside me, he moans into my neck as I can feel him unload inside me. Mason then slowly pulls out as we are both sensitive and flops to the side.

“Damn I missed our sex” Mason says trying to catch his breath from our recent activity. “Well if we are being honest I miss everything about you. I am really sorry y/n”. I can feel a lump in my throat suddenly all the feelings from that day come back. “Lets not say anything else lets just enjoy that moment”. I get out of bed to clean up which Mason joins me and I throw on his tshirt and a pair of his boxers. Mason passes me a glass of water and some pain killers saying “you have had a lot to drink so you will thank me in the morning” and we climb into bed.

Mason lays on his back and opens his arms which I come and join and lay on his chest. I can feel his hand on my back as his other hand is being used to play with my hair. I can feel myself start to drift off to sleep. There is so much I want to say but right now in this moment in time the world has stopped spinning and I am just going to let myself enjoy this moment with Mason. All of the other relationship life stuff can wait until tomorrow.

[maretinelli]

SECRET FOR ONE YEAR

Ollie Bearman X Russell!fem!reader

Summary: When Ollie and Y/n have been dating for almost one year, the only person who doesn't know yet is George. Y/n's older brother.

Words: 5.3K+

Warnings: Romance, secret dating, appearance of George and Carmen (I love Carmen🥹), conversations about sex, and women's conversations hahaha.

Author: English is not my first language, so apologies for any spelling, grammar and slang mistakes that may be in the story. This story came to me when I was having insomnia, but I decided to write it the next day.

MASTERLIST

Ollie Bearman and Y/n Russell had a quiet romance, hidden from the view of the media and, more importantly, Y/n's brother, George.

From the beginning, the idea of a relationship between her and Ollie seemed complicated, considering the rivalry between him and George on the F1 tracks. The Mercedes driver was a kind, understanding and friendly man, and she knew he would treat Ollie well, but still the fear of telling her older brother lingered in her mind.

They held their meetings in discreet places and away from the eyes of paparazzi, avoiding any type of public exposure.

The Russell and Bearman families knew about this romance, even Carmen, George's girlfriend, and they helped keep up appearances, avoiding any gesture or word that could reveal anything about the relationship.

Poor George, he was oblivious to this. Thinking that Y/n was going to her best friends' house from college every time she caught a flight. But the truth was, she was going to spend a few days at Ollie's house in London. Poor George.

A year passed, and they kept their relationship a secret. There were also days when some fans were suspicious, but Y/n told her brother that it was just rumors, nothing much. The poor pilot believed it, because Y/n and Ollie had been close friends for years.

That's what he thought.

Ollie didn't pressure his girlfriend to tell the world or her brother, he understood Y/n's concerns and supported her with sweet and comforting words.

Sure, he wanted to shout from the rooftops that Y/n Russell was the love of his life. But he also enjoyed the peace they had away from the spotlight.

The day was cold and cloudy. Y/n was at her older brother's house, having girl time with Carmem. Y/n talked about how her relationship with Ollie was going, while the eldest gave advice and listened attentively to her younger sister-in-law.

The relationship between Y/n and Carmem has always been marked by a remarkable closeness. Ever since Carmem started dating George, Y/n felt comfortable opening up to her, even in the most difficult times. They laughed together, shared secrets and, most importantly, always knew how to give each other space when needed. It was a friendship built on mutual trust.

Y/n was lying on George and Carmem's big bed, with her feet covered in a sock and resting on the headboard, relaxing while her sister-in-law was sitting in the armchair, concentrating on painting her nails, with a skincare mask on her face, just like Y/n.

The two were enjoying a rare moment of tranquility, away from the stresses of everyday life and their boyfriends' Formula 1 events.

"You know... sometimes I feel like telling George about my relationship," she begins, and Carmen looks up, looking at her sister-in-law lying on the bed. "I feel sorry for Ollie, I keep the relationship a secret because of my brother and not because of the media, and I feel like he wants to show everyone that we're together. But... it seems like I won't let him, you know?"

Y/n turns to Carmen, looking at her with slightly teary eyes. Carmen tries not to laugh, even though the subject was serious, Y/n looked funny with that pink mask on her face.

"Look, honey. I understand the weight you carry." Carmen says. "You can talk more and I know Ollie will understand what you want right now. And when the time is right, you can tell George. I know he loves and protects you a lot as your big brother, but he wants to see you happy too, just like Ollie. I see the love the pilot has for you, and I know he's willing to do whatever you decide."

Y/n turns her head to her and smiles, sniffling a little. "Oh, what I would be without you, Carmen!"

Carmem smiles sweetly and goes back to painting her nails.

Y/n turned her gaze to the wall in front of her, while wiggling her toes absentmindedly, her hands were inside the pocket of the sweatshirt she was wearing.

Carmen sees how she thinks about something, and bites her lower lip. "Y/n, what are you thinking about now?" She asks teasingly.

The girl lets out a little laugh and looks at her sister-in-law. "Oh, I don't know how to tell you this...it's kind of...embarrassing...I guess." Y/n takes her hands out of her pocket and begins to peel off the nail polish, shyly.

Carmen frowns and looks curiously at the youngest. "Hey, you can trust me! You know!"

Y/n rolls a little in bed to face her sister-in-law, but doesn't realize she was right on the edge, almost falling. A sudden movement and she ends up on her back on the floor.

"It's just that Ollie and I..." She laughs awkwardly. "You see... we slept together for the first time last week..." She says quietly, but Carmen hears and smiles, her eyes widening a little.

"What? Like, in a way-" Carmen doesn't finish, because Y/n interrupts.

"NO!" She says loudly. "Well, yes. No, but...damn." She tries to explain herself and Carmen laughs. "I mean, we slept together in a real sleeping way. You know." Y/n explains. "But also, you know, we've slept together that other way..." She feels her cheeks grow hot, confessing this to someone.

No one knew, however, Y/n was embarrassed to tell her mother. Not that she would fight, but you see, she would be talking about sex with the woman who raised her.

"So? Can I ask how you felt?"

Y/n smiles embarrassedly. "The first time is weird, isn't it?! But I have to say it was good... he was good..." She searches for the right words, taking some time to think better. "It was kind... He respected the moment and everything" She turns around smiling.

Carmem smiles, still focused on her nails. "Ah, that was cute!"

Y/n rolls her eyes laughing, looking back at the wall.

"You know you can trust me. I can give you tips on how to-"

Y/n interrupts her, blushing from having spent too much time on that subject. "Thanks! That's weird coming from you, because you're dating my brother. But coming from a woman to a woman, I take the advice."

Carmem laughs softly. "Was it the first time for both of you?" She asks, we try to help Y/n with the question.

Before Y/n could respond, something interrupts.

"First time of what?" George says loudly, startling Y/n, making her turn around quickly and fall off the bed in fright. Her back makes a loud bang on the floor.

"Holy shit" she curses under her breath, placing her hands behind her back for falling on her sneakers. That would definitely leave a bruise later.

"Are you okay?" George asked worriedly as he watched his sister get up. Carmen across the room was holding back a laugh.

"I am." Y/n grimaces. "But it was your fault, you scared me!" She jokes, making George roll his eyes.

"Hey, it's not my fault if you were telling a secret against me and got scared by my arrival" He raises his hands laughing. Y/n exchanges a look with Carmen, who had a smile on her face.

"Funny you" Y/n sits on the bed. And George laughs.

••••••••••••••••••••••

Days passed, and the Monza Grand Prix finally arrived. The atmosphere was full of energy, with fans cheering and teams busy making final adjustments for free practice. Y/n took advantage of her break from university to watch the race up close. It was rare to be able to watch her boyfriend and her brother at the same time, but this dynamic had its price: secrecy.

In the Mercedes VIP lounge, Y/n was comfortably seated in one of the armchairs, her eyes fixed on her cell phone. She was wearing a casual but elegant Mercedes outfit, which went unnoticed among the luxury of the area.

To George, it seemed like his sister was just there to support him like she always did: wearing a T-shirt with their last name and a team cap. He would never suspect the real reason behind her presence.

Ollie Bearman.

As she was scrolling through her phone, she heard footsteps entering the room. Instinctively, she looked up and froze. There was Ollie, with that unmistakable smile that always made her heart beat faster.

"Hey, my love-" She could have sworn the nickname came out louder than they expected.

Y/n's eyes widened immediately, putting her finger to her lips and frantically gesturing with her hands for him to stop talking. Before she could react further, the side door of the room opened again, and George walked out of his private room with a friendly smile.

“Ah, Ollie!” George greeted, extending his hand to the Haas driver. Ollie, who had also been frozen for a moment, quickly composed his expression and shook George’s hand.

"Hey, George! How are you?" He replied, his voice slightly hesitant, but still friendly.

"Of course! What brings you to our room?" George asked, clearly curious but kind.

Y/n held her breath, trying to look distracted by her cell phone, while her eyes moved to follow the scene.

Thinking quickly, she looked up and replied, "Oh, I called you! I thought we could take a walk around the paddock before practice starts. You know, catch up."

George seemed pleased with the answer, as he knew how great friends they had been since the younger driver was in F2.

He nodded. "Good idea! It's a great day for a walk."

As Y/n stood up, Carmem entered the room with a calm smile. She walked towards the coffee machine, but when she saw Ollie and Y/n together, she gave her sister-in-law a knowing look, which she hid as much as possible. Carmem clearly knew what was happening, but she wouldn't say anything.

As Y/n walked past her brother to leave, holding her cell phone, George frowned slightly when he noticed something in her hand.

"Hey, I never noticed before. Nice ring, Y/n!" He commented, casually pointing to the discreet wedding band she wore on her finger.

For a moment, silence filled the room. Ollie froze in place, while Y/n felt her cheeks grow hot. Carmem almost choked on her coffee, but George, innocent as always, didn't understand anything wrong in the atmosphere.

"Oh, thank you!" Y/n said quickly, trying to sound natural. "Our mother gave it to me the other day. I thought it was pretty and decided to use it,"

"You have good taste," George replied with a smile, before turning to Carmen, who was trying to contain her laughter.

Y/n took advantage of the moment to pull Ollie by the arm and leave. They hurried across the paddock, trying not to attract curious glances. As soon as they found a more secluded corner, away from the hustle and bustle, Ollie grabbed her hand, gently pulling her closer.

Before she could say anything, he surprised her with a passionate kiss. Y/n smiled against his lips, feeling the warmth of his arms around her. When they pulled away, Ollie had a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"So it was your mother who gave you that beautiful ring?" He joked, chuckling softly.

Y/n rolled her eyes, but couldn't help but laugh. "It was the first thing that came to my mind, okay? And it worked, didn't it?"

Ollie caressed her face, his gaze full of affection. "You're amazing, you know that? Even when we're in danger of getting caught, you think quickly."

Y/n bit her lip, looking away for a moment. "I was thinking... I think it's time to tell G. I don't want to hide it from him anymore. He'll understand when I tell him, right?"

Ollie nodded, squeezing her hands lightly. "Of course he will!" He smiled. "I'll do whatever you decide, love. No matter what happens, we face it together. Always."

Those words made Y/n smile, her eyes shining with emotion. She hugged him tightly, feeling grateful to have him by her side. "Thank you for being so understanding. I don't know what I would do without you."

"You won't have to find out," he replied, kissing the top of her head with a smile.

They stayed there for a few more minutes, enjoying the moment away from the watchful eyes of the paddock and exchanging soft caresses and vows of love.

Time passed, and the paddock was buzzing with activity. Drivers were milling around, some focused on practice and others engaged in casual conversation. George, still sweaty from his practice session, came out of the Mercedes garage, surveying the surroundings. Soon, he spotted Ollie chatting animatedly with Leclerc, Piastri and Antonelli.

Ollie gestured as he laughed at something, his hand resting on an iron barrier next to the group. George, distracted, fixed his eyes on the Haas driver. It was then that she noticed something glowing on his finger.

A ring. He frowned, feeling a slight sense of déjà vu. The ring was surprisingly similar to the one he had seen on Y/n’s hand earlier.

"It can't be..." He muttered to himself. He shook his head, trying to push the thought away.

Maybe it was just a coincidence, he thought. But the idea lingered in his mind as he walked back to the VIP room.

Upon entering, he saw Y/n standing on the balcony, holding a cup of coffee while watching the movement on the dance floor. The afternoon light reflected on her hair, and George felt a wave of nostalgia at seeing her there so calmly. It was hard to believe that his little sister, who he always wanted to protect, was growing up.

"Are you enjoying your day, Y/n?" He asked casually.

"Yes, everything is so busy today," she replied, without taking her eyes off the track.

George walked past her, but couldn’t help but look at her hand again. The same ring. He frowned again, but didn’t comment.

Instead, he looked around, searching for Carmen. "Have you seen Carmen? I didn't find her in the Mercedes hospitality room?" He asked, crossing his arms.

Y/n finished her coffee, placing the empty cup on the nearby table. "No, I didn't see her. Maybe she's in the paddock or talking to someone," she said, already starting to walk towards the exit.

George tried to call Carmen, but the call didn't go through. "Damn, my phone's dead." He stopped and looked at Y/n. "Can I use your phone? I need to try to talk to her."

Y/n, who already had her hand on the door, turned around with a casual smile. "Sure, here." She took her cell phone out of her pants pocket and handed it to her brother without hesitation. "You can use it as you please." She said as she told him the phone's password.

George thanked her as Y/n left, oblivious to what he was going to do next. With his phone in hand, he unlocked it with the intention of going to the dialer, but the first thing he saw was the messages tab open. He was about to close it when something caught his eye. At the top of the contact list was the name.

'Mi amore❤️'

Reflexively, he stopped, frowning again. Mi amore? The heart emoji was hard to ignore. Curiosity got the better of him, and he opened the chat. What he saw stopped him cold.

The messages were clearly between Yin and Ollie. There were pictures of them in the messages he quickly passed along. Conversations full of affection, inside jokes, and even some passionate confessions.

George didn't need to read much to understand what was going on. Y/n and Ollie...? The penny started to drop. The ring. The smiles. The discreet behavior of both. Everything made sense now.

As George absorbed the shock, Y/n walked around the paddock casually. From afar, she saw Ollie leaning against one of the barriers, waiting for her.

He smiled as soon as he saw her, that warm smile that always made Y/n feel special. She quickened her steps, and when they got close to each other, Ollie opened his arms, as if he wanted to hug her, but stopped when he remembered the public setting.

"Hi, mi amore" he said quietly, a sparkle in his eyes.

"Hi," she replied with a shy smile, looking around to make sure no one was paying attention to them.

The two began walking together, towards the paddock cafeteria, trying to keep the conversation casual while enjoying the rare moment of being together.

Meanwhile, in the VIP room, George was still holding Y/n's cell phone, his eyes fixed on the screen, completely surprised and trying to decide what to do with that information.

He barely noticed when Carmen entered the VIP room, smiling happily. But as soon as she noticed her boyfriend's pale, dazed gaze fixed on Y/n's phone, her smile disappeared.

"George? What's wrong?" She asked, concern evident in her voice.

He shook his head slowly, as if he was still trying to organize his thoughts. "I... I need to find Y/n," he said, his voice a little hoarse.

Carmen immediately noticed the phone in his hand and her eyes widened. "George... is that your sister's phone?" He looked at the device and then at his girlfriend, hesitantly. "Oh my God..." She murmured when she saw the wallpaper and the accessories that indicated that it belonged to Y/n.

Carmen sighed deeply, placing her hand on her forehead. He had figured it out.

Without another word, George hurried off, nervously walking around the paddock looking for Y/n. He barely noticed the glances that some of the team members were throwing his way. All he wanted was answers.

As he walked, something caught his attention. Chatter and laughter came from behind one of the garages. He stopped, recognizing Y/n's soft chuckle. Following the sound, George walked around the structure, only to find the scene of Y/n and Ollie, their backs to him, sharing a kiss and laughing together.

"Y/n?" George called, his voice firm but filled with surprise and a hint of frustration.

The two instantly pulled away, Y/n reflexively pushing Ollie away. She stared at her brother with wide eyes, while Ollie seemed frozen, trying to think of something to say.

"You don't have to move away" George said, holding up Y/n's phone. "I already know."

Y/n felt her heart sink in her chest. Ollie looked at her, worried. George continued, "When I went to call Carmen, her contact list was open. I saw the messages."

Y/n and Ollie stood completely still, as if time had stopped. Finally, George took a deep breath and asked, "How long have you two been together?"

Hesitantly, Y/n exchanged a look with Ollie before replying quietly, "A year..."

George's eyes widened, running his hands through his hair in frustration. "A YEAR?! Why didn't you guys tell me?"

Y/n stepped forward, trying to explain herself. "George, I... I thought it would be awkward for you. You and Ollie are racing rivals. I didn't want it to affect your work or our relationship as brothers."

He dropped his arms, frustration giving way to quiet sadness. "Did you really think that would make me treat you differently? That I would put this above your happiness?"

Y/n felt a lump in her throat, but managed to shake her head. "I was afraid... of disappointing you."

George closed his eyes for a moment, absorbing those words. "What about the families? Do they know?" He asked, already imagining the answer.

Reluctantly, Y/n nodded. "Yes... everyone knew but you. I'm sorry, George. It was never our intention to exclude you."

He sighed, shaking his head as he processed everything. "I understand," he said finally. "I understand that you wanted to protect things. But... it hurts me to know that you felt you couldn't trust me. You're my sister, Y/n. I will always want the best for you."

Y/n, moved, gave a small smile. "Thank you for understanding." George hugs his sister.

The Mercedes driver stepped closer, his eyes softening. He looked at Ollie, extending his hand. "Congratulations on your relationship... really."

Ollie, surprised, shook George's hand. "Thank you, George. That means a lot."

But then George narrowed his eyes and pointed a finger at him, his tone becoming more serious though there was a hint of teasing. "Now, listen carefully. Take good care of my sister, Ollie. Because if you don't, things are going to get ugly for you."

Ollie laughed nervously, scratching the back of his neck. "Don't worry. I'm taking good care of her."

Y/n smiled, feeling the weight she was carrying finally dissipate. George, seeing the scene, gave a genuine smile and added, "Just please don't give me nephews TOO SOON, okay?"

The comment made Y/n blush and Ollie laugh, completely breaking the tension. "No rush, George" Ollie replied, winking at Y/n.

George shook his head, laughing along. He handed his phone to his sister, patted Ollie on the back, and walked away, looking more at ease.

Once they were alone, Ollie turned to Y/n, an amused smile on his face. "I thought he was going to freak out, but he was pretty calm... for a protective older brother."

Y/n laughed, feeling relieved. "I thought so too. I think he trusted you more than I expected him to."

Ollie put an arm around her shoulders. "Well, at least now we don't have to hide anymore."

She nodded, looking at him fondly. "Yes. Finally."

[thanosscross]

Round and round, we go - Choi Seung Hyun/T.O.P x Reader 2/?

Summary: After Seung Hyun ends up ghosting you for days, you finally let him know how he's been making you feel, ending with a deep conversation with your new best friend

Warnings: Slight mentions of depression, other than that, none lovelies! <3

You wouldn't hear from Choi Seung Hyun for almost a week, after your last interaction, leaving you to yourself to work on fixing up any tears or frayed ends on his coat, and burying yourself into work. You didn't do anything big or spectacular like Seung Hyun, you were a tailor/dressmaker for a small dress shop in your hometown, fixing ripped clothing and dresses, altering tuxes and wedding dresses, and fixing school dance dresses, it wasn't anything big, but you liked it and it made you happy.

As you walked into work one morning, you weren't expecting to be so busy, with the shop itself being busy, and you being pulled onto the sales floor to help pick dresses for brides and teens, and your appointments for alterations and fixes, plus walk ins for you to do, you were about to pull your hair out. As you rushed into one of your tailor rooms, you tried to take a deep breath, your phone buzzing with a text that interrupted you 'Coat boy: How're you today? working hard?' You sighed, not being able to hold back a smile as you read over Seung Hyun's message. Replying back that it was busier than ever and you were out of coffee, you slid your phone back into your pocket, making your way back out to your client, who was being more difficult than ever. The stress was never-ending though, as soon as you got your client out of the shop, you had another walk in, and your office phone ringing "Hello? Beauty's bridal and dress, what can I do for you?" You asked, trying your best to keep an upbeat tone as your new client stood impatiently in front of you, tapping her foot as she held her daughter's prom dress. "Hi, I wanted to see about coming in to get a small tear sewn?..What time would be best?" The voice asked, you pinched the bridge on your nose between your finger tips, of course it was another call-in, glancing at your calendar you sighed, deciding to give up your lunch break for the day "Yea um..just stop in around two, and ask for Y/n" You replied sweetly before hanging up, looking at your customer, directing them towards your workbench, so you could see what needed done.

As soon as what was supposed to be your lunch break hit, you sat on the spin platform in one of the private tailor rooms, you didn't use them often, mainly just for tuxes, you had a bigger room with more mirrors that was recently built, so you tried to use that, just so it was easier with the bigger, puffy dresses. Hearing the bell above the shop door ding, you felt like you wanted to either explode with anger, or cry, all you wanted to do was eat and go home, maybe get a call in with Seung Hyun before you had to go to bed, instead you were working a double with no lunch break. Standing up to greet your client, you were relieved to see Seung Hyun shyly walk into your office "Hi, sorry for calling in...I just..I have a show tonight, and I kind of..tore that one pocket you added on for me" He explained shyly, scratching the back of his neck as you both moved to sit at your desk, you just smiled at him, letting your head fall on the table. "Are you okay?..Is now a bad time?" He asked softly, reaching a hand out to grasp yours gently "More than okay, I thought you were another customer, and instead it's someone I can relax and be myself around" You sighed, turning your hand to hold his out of instinct, as you stood up, you took your hand, motioning him into the platform as you picked up some of your sewing supplies, that you'd need.

"Thank you for this, I really appreciate it" He smiled softly as you tied off the thread, securing the pocket back in its rightful place. "Of course, we can't have T.O.P on stage with ripped clothes, unless intentional" You giggled, patting the pocket slightly before handing the coat back to him proudly "It's on the house sir, I'll happily fix anything you bring me" You smiled softly, squeezing his shoulder as he blushed "I'll keep that in mind, y/n" He smiled softly, giving you a tight hug before sighing "I do have to get going though, I promise, I will call you after my show though, unless you want to come?" He smiled softly, pulling away from the hug, sliding his hands down from your shoulders to your hands gently "I'm sorry, I really am, I have to stay till nine tonight, and then come back at eight tomorrow" You frowned softly, going to grab his other coat from your office chair "Did you want this back though?" You asked, offering it to him shyly, he just shook his head smiling brightly "No, No, keep it, Aein, I'm sure we'll see each other soon" Seung Hyun laughed softly, pressing a kiss to the top of your hand before disappearing out of the shop.

You'd end up staying up late that night, waiting for a call from Seung Hyun, only for it to never come, growing frustrated, you'd send him a goodnight text before going to sleep for the night. You wouldn't hear from him again until three days later, whenever he'd show up to your work, his hood pulled far over his face as he darted for your office, hoping you wouldn't have any customers. As his eyes fell on you, he felt himself relax, until your gaze towards him turned harsh and icy "Who do you think you are? You're leading me on, do you realize that? I understand, you're famous, and you're a busy guy, but I have feelings, so it would be nice to know if you're sweet like this with all of your fans, or if this is going anywhere" You ranted, at first, you liked the 'Enjoy what it is, don't make it complicated' mindset, but the way he was with you, and the fact that you had people actively asking you out, you felt inclined to decline their offers, choosing to stay committed to whatever you had going on between you and Seung Hyun. "I-I'm sorry...I just-..Did you mean what you said...when you said you'll happily fix anything?.." He whispered, fidgeting with his hands and rings as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, you stopped, thinking about how you'd want to reply, you could just brush off your frustrations, or tell him to just leave. Sighing as you ran a hand through your hair, you motioned for him to get onto the platform "What's ripped this time?" You asked, grabbing your needle and thread, stopping as he just stood in his place "I-I think I need fixed" He whispered, his voice shaking as he spoke, his gaze glued to the floor as you slowly approached him. "Seung Hyun...What do you mean?" You asked softly, holding his arm gently as you led him to sit down on one of the benches in your office, sitting down next to him before you spoke again "Seung Hyun, I don't think you need fixed" You whispered, taking his hand in yours, caressing his knuckles with your thumb as he sniffled. "I-I panic..all of the time, I'm supposed to be an idol, and yet, I'm scared of big crowds swarming me" He ranted, you were quick to cut him off "Choi Seung Hyun, hush. You can't control that, and it's okay, everybody has their own mental stuff going on, what's important is, you take care of yourself, you don't need fixed because of those things, nor would I be able to do it, but..I can help you..talk you through whatever you need" You whispered, squeezing his hand gently as you finished speaking, Seung Hyun couldn't speak, he couldn't trust his voice as tears built up in his eyes, pulling you into a tight hug as he tried to hide that he was crying.

You didn't care, you just wrapped your arms around him tightly, resting your head on his chest "I thought I had made you upset, or angry" You whispered after a moment, feeling him pull back away from you as he wiped his face quickly "No! You could never, Aein, I just..Didn't want you or anybody..to see me like this" He whispered, you just smacked his arm gently "Choi Seung Hyun, Are you serious? I'm hurt, I thought we were closer than that" You huffed, watching as he tried to hide the soft smile that was growing on his lips. "I just-" He tried to explain, but you cut him off "I know, it's okay, I'm not actually mad" You giggled before tilting your head slightly "Did you need something fixed, or did you just come here to find me?" You asked as you stood up slowly, Seung Hyun watched you closely, he wasn't exactly sure why he came here, he just knew, whenever he was around you, you made everything feel less scary and bad, and that's he needed right now. "I just...wanted to come apologize..for...leading you on?" He questioned, trying to remember your wording from earlier, causing your face to heat up with a blush "O-Okay, well, that was before I knew, that you just needed a minute to yourself" you protested, smiling as you heard him chuckling softly "It's okay, I just, I want to enjoy what's going on with us, I'm not sure if I'm even in the right headspace for that, so..if you want me to back off, and just be a friend, I won't be upset, I'll understand" He explained, holding your hands gently as he tried to calm his nerves "Seung Hyun, I have turned down six guys, and two girls, in the time we've started talking, I'm not just going to walk away now, I'm having fun with you" You smiled, cupping his cheek gently "Thank you..Y/n.." He whispered, pulling his hood off slowly as he started to feel the hold, his racing thoughts had over him, loosen. "Anytime, Jagiya, have you eaten at all tonight? I'm sure they wouldn't mind me heading out an hour or two early, I can order us some takeout?" You offered, smiling as his eyes lit up "Of course! I'd do anything if you're included" He smiled, causing a blush to rise to your cheeks, you just shook your head giggling as you grabbed your (His) coat and your purse, before leading Seung Hyun out of your shop, clocking out on your way out of the door.

Whenever you got to your apartment, you shyly picked up your dirty laundry from the floor "Sorry! These double shifts really take time away from cleaning" You apologized sheepishly as you made your way to the kitchen, trying to find the takeout menu, you were just using the other night. "You're okay! I promise! I don't mind it" He smiled softly, after you managed to finally order takeout and eat, you were left laying on the couch with Seung Hyun, your head on his chest as his arms were wrapped around you tightly. "So you turned down eight people, just for me, while I wasn't answering?" He asked in shock, trailing his fingers up and down your back as he waited for a response, you just hid your face quickly "Yes, But I didn't want to be with them anyways, they weren't the type of people I'd want to spend my time with" you replied shyly, Seung Hyun just laughed softly at your remark "So who is?" He asked playfully, watching as you giggled, rolling on your back playfully "So I'll tell you because we're best friends, but personally? I like the men who are taller, but not by much, deep voice, colored hair, sweet, kind" You playfully listed off, watching as Seung Hyun laughed "You're just describing me!" He laughed, throwing his head back as you continued "they can rap, they're breathtakingly handsome, they're silly, they know just the right thing to say and when to say it, and they're always worrying and caring about their friends and family" You smiled softly, looking up to meet his gaze, Seung Hyun was watching you in awe, your words causing his stomach to flip and flutter. "So basically, me?" Seung Hyun laughed shaking his head, you just turned to face him, resting your chin on his chest as you looked at him "Yes so basically you" You giggled, smacking his arm playfully "You're just better than anybody I've ever spent time with" You added on, smiling at him, watching as he blushed "You're too sweet to me, y/n, I don't know what I've done to deserve you" He whispered, pressing his lips to your forehead "You went through a lot, so let this good thing happen" You giggled, raising his eyebrows, Seung Hyun laughed "You are the weirdest person I know" He chuckled, you just smiled, taking his remark as a compliment as you sighed "I'm serious, you deserve good things, even if you didn't do anything in order to get them" You whispered, leaning up gently to make eye-contact, trying to stress how serious you were.

"Okay, Okay, right now I just want to hang out with you" He chuckled, watching as you glared at him playfully "Fine! Hang out with me" You laughed, resting your head on his shoulder, you laid in silence for awhile before finally Seung Hyun spoke up "Y/n? Do you ever...feel like kissing your friends?" He asked, deep in thought, you just broke out into giggles as you shook your head "No, Seung Hyun, I don't think I have, until I met you" You laughed, your hands coming up to cover your face, Seung Hyun just grabbed your wrists gently, pulling your hands away slowly "Can you read my mind? Or did you just say what I was thinking?" He asked, trying to hide his smile, you just blushed brightly, giggling as he leaned closer to you "So..?" He whispered, leaving his hand resting on the back of your neck as his gaze flicked between your eyes and then your lips "If you want to kiss me, Seung Hyun, you don't have to ask" You giggled, pressing your lips to his as he smiled, placing your hands on his cheeks as you pulled away smiling "See? No need to ask, not you" You giggled, watching as he smiled looking away, his cheeks lighting up with a bright blush, You just laid your head on his shoulder again smiling "See? Best friends that kiss" You giggled, trying your best to sound like a surfer from America or Australia, Seung Hyun couldn't really tell. "Y-Yea, best friends that kiss" He smiled softly, wrapping his arms around you again sighing, While he wasn't exactly ready for a solid real relationship, he knew you were special, and he knew as soon as he was ready to take that step, you'd be the person, he'd want to take it with. You were loving, caring, sweet, selfless, thoughtful, and the way you were so understanding of him not being ready for something serious, but still showing you loved him, really had him questioning now, what he did to deserve somebody as understanding and amazing as you.

--

What do we think lovelies? I'm trying out a new trope with this series! So let me know what you think of the trope with someone not being ready for a relationship but loving someone anyways, and said someone being supportive and loving that person regardless. Excited to hear from you!! <333

--

Taglist!!

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[callmemonster68]

NIKI - Just So They Know... ( smut )

Jealous Niki decides to remind the boys who Y/N belongs to

Pairing: Niki X FemReader X Enhypen ( special participation )

Genre: Obscenity

Warning: Contains explicit content, unprotected sex, suggestive, penetration, explicit language, climax, sex, swearing, loss of virginity, hickeys, messy make-out sessions, dirty talk, compliments, rough sex, touching bruises, handcuffs, chains, sadomasochism , masochism, brands, public sex, oral

A game night at one of the boys' houses. Everyone was laughing and having fun, but Niki, sitting in a corner, watched Y/N interact with the others in a way he thought was more animated than necessary.

While the others competed in a card game, he could barely concentrate, his eyes fixed on the way Y/N laughed at something Sunoo had said.

After a few minutes, Niki stood up abruptly, drawing everyone's attention.

Niki: Y/N, can I talk to you for a second? — He said, his tone calm, but his eyes revealing something more intense.

Y/N: Wait, I'm almost winning this.

Niki was already at his limit, he stood up.

Niki: What was that? — He asked, crossing his arms.

Y/N blinked, confused.

Y/N: What is that?

Niki: You know. All this laughter, all this closeness with them.

She frowned, trying to suppress a smile. The boys were in shock from the surprise and confusion.

Y/N: Niki, they are our friends. And we're not doing anything wrong.

Niki: I know that — he replied, running his hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. — But I can't help it. It just... bothers me.

Y/N: Are you jealous? — She asked, now a smile appearing on her lips.

He looked away for a moment, but finally sighed.

Niki: Maybe...

Y/N: Niki, you don't need to be like this. I am yours, and you know it.

His eyes met hers, and in that moment, something relaxed in him.

Y/N: I just don't like sharing at all — he said loudly while looking at the boys.

To provoke him, the boys shouted Y/N's name, telling her to just ignore his behavior and return to the game. Niki opened a devilish smile, and before she could return to the game, he grabbed and pulled her arm, lifting her up with a slight smile.

Niki: Just so they know...

And then, he gave her a quick and rough kiss, which left her shocked, the boys with wide eyes at the scene, but Niki didn't stop there, he pulled her close to the sofa, turned her around, and pushed her onto the arm of the sofa so that her butt was up, and her lower body thrown over the sofa.

Y/N: Niki, what are you doing? You are crazy. — She said as she tried to get up.

Niki: Crazy? Me? Crazy are they if they think they can fuck you better than I can. — He said, looking at them with fire in his eyes.

Jungwon: Guys, let's go out, let them sort it out.

Heeseung: Go out? Why? He wants us to see it, or he wouldn't have started this show.

Niki: Exactly, stay and watch this bitch get dumb for my cock.

He finishes speaking, lifts her dress up, and pulls her panties down. The boys adjust themselves to get a better view, she covering her face, overwhelmed with shame.

Niki: Take your hands off, I want them to see your face all the time. — He says authoritatively, and gives her bare butt a hard slap.

She obeys him immediately, already knowing him well, she knows it's better to follow him. Tears streaming down her face from embarrassment, she dared to look to the side and found the boys' focused gazes, her pussy tightened around nothing.

Niki noticed her excitement running down her legs and didn't miss the opportunity to tease.

Niki: Look at this bitch, come closer, she's already dripping.

The boys immediately walked closer, all positioned behind Niki, with a privileged view of her exposed pussy, their pants getting tight, suffocating their hard cocks. Jake was the first to take the initiative to free his hard cock, followed by all the others, the last being Niki, who freed his cock and held Y/N's hip, making her feel a shiver run through her entire body.

Y/N: Niki, please, don't do this, you will regret it. — She pleaded.

Niki: The one who will regret it is you for being a desperate attention-seeker.

With that, he penetrated her all at once, tearing a scream from her, he began to fuck her mercilessly, going hard and deep while degrading her, the boys closely watching everything as they pumped their cocks, Y/N moaning loudly, Niki's thrusts abusing her small pussy, the overwhelming pleasure she was feeling driving her completely crazy.

Y/N tried to stifle their moans by pressing their face into the couch. Niki noticed and pulled her hair. He made a ponytail with his hand and held it while forcing his face upward.

Niki: Funny how you try to hide how much you like being treated like this.

Y/N: Niki, please, it's too much, I can't take it anymore.

Niki: The best thing you can do is stay there and accept it.

Jay: You should treat her better, Niki, she's too good.

Niki: I can do whatever I want with her, and you will just watch. She knows she was born to please me.

With that, she squeezed him even tighter, loving the attention and degradation she was receiving.

Y/N: I'm going to come, I'm at my limit. — She said through sobs.

Niki: Do you really think you're in control? How lovely.

He threw her head forward, pushing her back onto the couch, then pulled out of her, leaving her empty. He went to the kitchen and returned with a chair, placing it sideways in front of the boys who had now stopped pumping his penis to follow his movements. Then he sat in the chair with his legs open.

Niki: Come here, bitch, it's time for you to show what you know.

She got up, staggering with weak legs, and walked over to him. She positioned herself on his lap and sat on his hard member.

Niki: You know you're only useful when you do exactly what I say.

She confirmed, nodding her head, the tears still streaming down her face. Niki took her dress off, leaving her completely naked. He looked into her eyes, wrapped his hand around her throat, and choked her just enough for her to roll her eyes.

Niki: Now, bitch, move.

He took his hand away and released her, letting her arms fall freely by her sides and allowing her to use his cock. The boys resumed touching themselves while Y/N began to ride his cock with desperation.

Niki: Are you seeing how they look at you? Do you see how they look at you? Is this how you want to be seen?

She squeezed him and looked at the boys. She still hadn't realized what was really happening, all six of them watching her as they pumped their cocks, excited and desperate. She knew she should be ashamed, but it only made her even more excited and closer to the edge.

Niki: They're all here touching themselves over you, but in the end, you're only mine.

He saw that she was close and pulled her in for a hot kiss, while guiding her hips to move more forcefully. Before completely breaking the kiss, he orders:

Niki: Open your mouth!

She obeys, then he spits in her mouth, which she immediately swallows.

Niki: You like being reminded of your place, don't you?

She nodded again, confirming that she loved being just a pawn in his hands when it came to sex. She accelerated her movements even more, Niki came first, followed by him with just a few more movements. He looked at the boys and realized that they were all already at their limit.

He lifts her off his lap, both of their cum dripping down her legs, then he forces her to kneel in front of the boys. Holding her hair and forcing her to look at them, he says:

Niki: Look at them! Let them see your fucked-up expression.

Niki: Get closer, use her like the good cum dump she is and cum on her.

She was startled by what was said, they approached her and came almost in unison on top of her. Meanwhile, Niki put her clothes back on.

Niki: With everyone aware of who makes her feel this way and to whom she belongs... we can continue with the game.

Y/N looked at him incredulously with his ease in acting so relaxed about everything that had happened.

Niki: Any problem? — he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

Y/N: No, no problem. — She said before getting up, grabbing her clothes, and going to the bathroom to wash up.

Sunoo: Y/N, don't take too long, I'll have my revenge. — He said with a sweet smile, accompanied by everyone agreeing.

"None of them are normal," she thought as she took a shower, exhausted.

✿ If you don't reblog and comment, you can be sure I'll be showing up in your dreams tonight... and I won’t be as sweet as in the story ✿

[traumadumpwriter]

JJ Maybank X Reader ~ Relapse and a Half

My first OBX fic. I hope y’all like it.

Summary: The Pogues feel betrayed by the readers sudden relapse into hard drugs, but they’re unable to be angry at her for too long as something terrible leaves her needing their support more than ever.

Trigger warning for: drugs (obviously), guns, sexual assault, violence

Part two

Part One:

You'd been on the edge for a while now. The relapse should've been seen from a mile off. Your uncharacteristic quietness, the way you'd get lost in your thoughts, the distant look in your eyes. Everyone could tell that something was up, but even when they questioned you about it you had no real answers to give - uncertain yourself of what was making you feel so withdrawn.

When you'd first moved to OBX with your busy mum, you'd instantly found a group of friends - a really good group of friends - the Pogues. And they'd been quick to suss out that you were hiding things - particularly JJ. You were practically never sober, for starters, and though he wasn't either, you had a way of taking it to the next level. This was fun most of the time, but sometimes it got to a level that was concerning - even to the most problematic Pogue on the island. Whenever he'd pushed you for answers, trying to figure out what exactly you were self medicating for, you got extremely annoyed and so he never really got a straight answer. You couldn't bare to be so vulnerable with anyone - let alone the boy you'd started to develop feelings for - so you remained somewhat of a mystery.

Sure, there had been nights when you'd shared a bed - both of you very drunk. You'd convince yourself that maybe JJ liked you, maybe the sex meant more to him than just sex, but then when he'd continue to treat you like just a friend the morning after, your hopes would be crushed. It’s not like you ever gave him any reason to think that the sex was anything other than casual, but that was because you didn’t want him to be able to reject you. And besides, could he not tell that you wanted more? Kiera could and she wasn’t even in the bedroom.

Then the overdose happened. The Pogue's had suspected that you'd been taking something other than just alcohol for a while. The night that you'd almost died at the Chateau their suspicions became a painful fact. You'd taken a few too many pills - benzodiazepines to be exact - and though you'd known that you were reaching a point of no return, after hearing all about the gorgeous touron that JJ had been obsessed with, you couldn't bring yourself to stop.

That night had been awful for everyone, and you'd ended up tearfully promising that you would get clean after that, unable to bear the hurt on the Pogue's faces. So you'd been almost a year clean now, blossoming into a new person that the Pogue's liked even more than the old you. Yours and JJ's relationship remained just as complicated though - still having the occasional hookup but largely seeming as if you were just friends. Now that you weren't on pills and you could actually fully remember the sex, it hurt even more in the morning after. Still, you continued, desperate to feel wanted even if it was just for a night.

You hadn't realised how much this routine was actually bothering you until in a night similar to the one you'd overdosed on, JJ had been making out with another gorgeous touron.

*Your POV*

I'd watched jealously from across the party, ignoring the sound of Kie in my ear telling me that "I was much prettier than that touron."

I appreciated the sentiment, but I knew it was a lie, and so in a split second decision, I told Kie that I was going to go home. "I'm going to have an early one." I said, knowing it was a lie. "I'll see you tomorrow."

In that split second decision, I'd decided that all of my progress didn't matter if I still felt this worthless. What was the point in being clean if it meant that I wanted to die? JJ's insistence had been one of the things that had motivated me to stay away from the pills, but he hadn't been interested in me for a while now. He hadn't even asked me for a fuck. Had he grown bored of me? Or maybe I had gotten uglier without realising it. Maybe I had put on some weight or he didn't like my haircut. Maybe he’d developed feelings for a different girl - a better girl.

Kie nodded worriedly, clearly not sure whether to believe me or not. I hadn't even directly confessed to her that I liked JJ, she was just the only one in the group who wasn't too stupid to see it.

"Okay. Be safe." She smiled, pulling me into a hug, and though I felt bad, I still hopped on my bike and headed straight to Barry's as soon as the coast was clear.

Kie would be devastated if she'd known where I was actually going. So would John B, and Pope, and maybe even JJ, but they would forgive me quicker than her. At least, I thought that they would.

Blurred memories of the night I'd overdosed filled my mind; the sound of shouting, someone's fingers down my throat, a muffled sob, flashing lights. A shiver of shame ran down my spine as I struggled to push the images from my mind.

The ride to Barry's was short, though it felt like a lifetime as all the things I hated about myself bounced around in my head like a torturous broken record. Of course JJ didn't want to be with me. I wasn't beautiful enough. I wasn't cool enough. I wasn't good enough. I would just continue to be his slutty friend that he could stick it in whenever it was convenient for him, and he didn't even seem to want that anymore. The thought made me even more ashamed, remembering all the times I'd let him fuck me, hoping that he'd found me beautiful, thinking that maybe he liked me, just to realise in the morning that I was easy to him.

Yet I knew, that if he were to approach me in that moment and ask for a fuck, I wouldn't say no. I wanted to be wanted so badly, even if it was just for a fleeting moment, and the feeling was unbearable. It ate me up inside, making my chest tight and my eyes water. I was quick to blink any dampness away from my eyes though, focused instead on the high that I would soon have - the comfortable numbness that it would bring me. My clean streak meant nothing, a stupid concept when compared to the internal anguish I felt. From my low self esteem to my repressed trauma, I had no fight left in the battle to stay clean. Sure, the Pogue's would be upset if they found out, but I wouldn't let them find out. I would keep it low-key, unlike I did before.

When I knocked on Barry's door, I was relieved that he was the one to answer and the house was seemingly empty, meaning I only had to speak to him. His friends were annoying, and though I didn't particularly like Barry, I found him funny sometimes.

"Well shit, Y/N. Been a while." He grinned.

"Yeahh. Well I'm back." I said with a mock smile.

"Come inside."

The transaction had soon been completed; a pot of pills in my hand and some cash in Barry's. I leant back into the sofa and took one immediately, swallowing it down with a beer handed to me by him.

"Bad night?" He questioned with an amused scoff.

"Something like that." I answered. "How about you? Place ain't usually this empty on a Friday." 

"Want my own company sometimes. That a crime?"

"No. Just strange is all." I murmured, taking another swig from the beer.

Paired with my already drunkenness, the feeling of the pill was starting to hit - hard and strong - and I felt my body slump comfortably into the sofa. My head felt light whilst the rest of my body felt heavy, creating a strange, cosy sensation. It was a feeling I'd missed.

"Well what happened with you, party princess?" He scoffed, cracking open a beer for himself.

I let out a light chuckle at the question, now feeling as if it didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

"Dumb shit."

"You looked pretty upset when I opened the door. Boyfriend troubles?"

I raised my eyebrows in mock offence.

"Why would I have a boyfriend?" I questioned with a laugh "Who'd you hear that from?"

Barry laughed too.

"Cus a girl like you - you're pretty. I'm surprised some Kook hasn't swiped you up."

I snorted at that and rolled my eyes.

"Well thanks I guess."

I thought about having sex with Barry in that moment, just to hear him call me pretty again. But I decided against it, slightly sickened by the idea, and pulled myself off the sofa.

"I should go, see you around?"

"You sure you can ride that thing safely?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine." I chuckled before heading out the door and throwing myself back onto my bike.

The ride home was perilous, and though I did almost crash a few times, my body went into autopilot and I was soon safely in my bed, mind too numb to pick myself apart for the first night in a while.

For the next week I was able to keep the pill-taking to a minimum, only popping two a day at most. I only did it to make the thoughts stop - to bring on the comfortable numbness so that I could actually bare to be awake. So that I could actually bare to be around my friends.

I'd always managed to keep my feelings for JJ locked up and manageable, but for some reason seeing him with that touron had bothered me in ways I hadn't been bothered before. Perhaps it was because she was so gorgeous, or maybe it was how pleased JJ looked to have pulled her. Either way, it just reinforced to me how worthless I was. He brought her up one day at the Chateau and it instantly made me feel hot with annoyance.

"That touron from the other night just texted me, should I go there again?" He said with a proud smirk, looking around the room.

I rolled my eyes and picked up the half smoked blunt from the ashtray, relighting it and sucking on it in hopes that it would make my jealousy fade.

"Didn't you steal like a hundred dollars from her purse?" Pope scoffed, eyes focused on the television. Adventure Time was playing with the volume on low, and both Pope and Kie seemed more interested in it than the conversation that JJ and John B had been having. I'd been drifting lazily between the two, too high to properly contribute to anything, but now JJ had my full attention.

"Yeah. Obviously didn't notice though. Girl had too much cash for her own good." He mused, eyes on his phone screen. "Ooh! And guess what she just sent me."

"Tit pic?" John B asked, a grin crawling onto his lips.

"Tit pic." JJ confirmed, chucking his phone over to John B.

"Nice." He chuckled, looking at the phone before chucking it back to JJ.

"You guys are disgusting." Kie scoffed. "I mean like really JJ? Did that girl send you that picture for you to show your friend? You have no respect for women sometimes."

"I respect women very much, actually Kie. I respect you and Y/N. I respect your mums and Pope's mum. I just don't respect easy, spoiled touron's like her." He said defensively, and I loudly scoffed at that. He didn't respect me.

"What? You think I don't respect women too?" He asked me with furrowed brows, crossing his arms.

He was sat across the room from me; myself, Kie and Pope spread out across the sofa whilst him and John B sat in chairs. I looked him up and down, pleased that there was no lump in my throat to swallow, no butterflies in my stomach to squash and no loving gaze to hide.

“Sure, you really respect women JJ. Whatever you say.”

He looked surprised by that response, probably expecting me to get defensive, then continued on a rant about how he wasn’t misogynistic. Kie argued with him for a little bit, and John B and Pope eventually joined in too. Usually I also would’ve joined, just for the amusement of it all, but no words came to my mind. Instead I just watched, chuckling at the occasional insult being thrown and smoking my blunt.

Two weeks later and I’d upped the dose to at least four pills a day. The thoughts had gotten harder to crush, growing a tolerance. Much to my relief though, none of the Pogue’s seemed to suspect anything.

It was a hot day and we’d decided to go swimming, using the inner ring of a tire as a floaty - which we all fought over.

“I stole the tire, so I should get it!” JJ proclaimed, and though he was right, I wanted the ring.

“Okay well if you’re not a woman hater, prove it by letting me and Kie have the ring!” I grinned.

“Yeah! Prove it!” Kie added, high-fiving me.

JJ groaned and rolled his eyes, but eventually gave in with a slight smirk to me.

“Okay fine - but we’re sharing it!”

I giggled at his childish nature, feeling the butterflies rise up in my stomach that I’d been managing so well to suppress. The second that I realised what I was feeling, I knew that I needed to take another pill.

“I’m gonna go pee. Don’t wait for me.” I said, heading back indoors.

Once I was in the bathroom, I dug through my bag to find the orange pot, irritated when I realised that I didn’t have a lot left. I’d have to go back to Barry’s soon. That was annoying. I swallowed one of the pills with some water from the sink and looked at myself in the mirror before heading back out. I looked tired and unattractive and I sighed at that, thinking of how good the girl that JJ had been dancing with at the boneyard this week looked.

I reached into the fridge and took myself out a beer, cracking it open and downing half of it before stepping out of the kitchen. I didn’t expect to see JJ stood on the porch waiting for me, a slight furrow to his brow. I purposely hadn’t been alone with him in weeks and it sent a pang of anxiety into my chest.

“Starting this early? Haven’t seen you do that in a while. You feeling alright?” He asked, his voice soft.

“Yeah. I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know. You just seem.. different.” He was wording himself carefully, I could tell, which was very out of character for him. What could he possibly want from me?

“I’m just tired.” I said with a huff and tried to walk past him.

He suddenly put his hands on my waist, which was exposed in a bikini, holding me still. At the initial contact, I felt electrified, but I was quickly reminded of what I had missed - and the reasons why. I worried that my flesh felt too squishy under his fingers, that there was too much of it, or that the dip of my waist wasn’t defined enough. Compared to that touron I probably felt like a whale.

“What’s going on Y/N? Are you mad at me?” He asked, his eyes wide with concern, but I couldn’t think about his words - only the crippling self hatred his hand on my waist was making me feel.

I stepped backwards so that he was no longer touching me, something that only seemed to deepen the crease between his eyebrows, and blinked a couple of times before I could speak.

“I’m, uh- I’m going to grab a shirt.”

And with that I paced back inside, finishing the beer and pulling one of John B’s oversized vests over my bikini. The pill hadn’t kicked in yet and I could still see JJ stood waiting on the porch so I decided to go into the bathroom and take another. Then I grabbed another beer from the fridge and downed it, relieved when I felt the relaxing effects kick in almost immediately.

“Why are you downing beer? Since when do you do that?” JJ’s voice from behind me made me jump, his face critical.

“I’m just having a good time.” I smiled at him.

“Really? Because you don’t look like you’re having a good time. You look miserable, Y/N.”

Was it that easy to see through my charade? It irritated me that he cared now when he should’ve cared a couple of weeks ago. Now it was too late.

I huffed and shook my head, managing to walk past him this time undisrupted and lead the way to the water.

“I’m fine. Come on, let’s go.”

He didn’t bother me for the inflatable ring at all. In fact, he didn’t speak to me for hours after that. I wasn’t bothered by it though, the mix of booze and benzos that had finally hit making me entirely unfazed by everything. The comfortable numbness that I craved so badly.

I lay floating in the ring for what felt like hours, my eyes closed as I felt the waves move me freely around. The water was so cold compared to the beaming sun, but the two extremes together made me feel more relaxed than I had been in a while. Maybe I had fallen asleep, I wasn’t too sure, but when someone was suddenly directly next to me, interfering with the natural direction of the waves, I jumped up at their presence.

“What are you thinking about?”

It was Kie, her tone lighthearted though her face was concerned.

“Not much. The sound of the water mostly. You?” I answered truthfully.

“Honestly, right now I’m thinking about you.”

“Why? You into me or something?” I teased, not expecting her tone to change to match her face.

“No Y/N I’m serious. What’s going on with you? You’ve been acting weird ever since that party with the blonde touron.”

Kie was catching on, which was bad. It wouldn’t take her much to figure out what was really happening, so I had to come up with a lie, or maybe not a lie but a distraction.

“Yeah. Okay. I’m sad about JJ… But it doesn’t matter. I’ll get over it.” I confessed, relieved when I saw the stress in Kie’s face relax.

“He’s a total idiot. You can do better than him anyway.” She said with exasperation, stroking my hair.

“No I can’t.” I laughed. “But like I said, it doesn’t matter.”

Kie sighed.

“I wish you weren’t so harsh on yourself. If you could see what other people could see you wouldn’t be.”

I smiled at her, feeling appreciation for the girl buzz through me.

“Love ya Kie.”

She smiled too, but it was weaker than usual.

“Love you too… Now give me the floatie.”

When it got dark some hours later we all piled back into the Chateau and put on a movie, squeezing onto the couch. I sat on the edge and much to my displeasure, JJ sat next to me. That displeasure only lasted a second though before it was washed over by a tidal wave of carelessness, and I was able to relax my body against his like he was anyone - not the most problematic Pogue on the island.

The movie went on for a while until JJ shifted positions, wrapping his arm around me and placing his hand on my leg.

This had been a fairly standard position for us, his fingers creeping up my thigh in the darkness of the room and our friends none the wiser. Now it felt different though, and instead of being excited by it I was annoyed. Was I only good enough to touch in secret? Was he touching me now just because I was there and it was something to do? Could he only bare to touch me when he was drunk? I needed to take another pill.

With a wobble, I flicked JJ’s hands from me and pushed myself up, grabbing my handbag and heading to the bathroom. Pope and Kie had passed out on top of each other and John B was too engrossed in the movie to look up. So when I heard a knock on the bathroom door, I knew who it was before it even opened.

“I didn’t say you could come in. I could’ve been taking a shit.” I teased.

JJ’s stoney face didn’t offer a crack of amusement as he stepped closer to me.

“What’s going on with you? It’s like you can’t stand to be around me. Have I done something?”

“No. Everything is fine.” I answered with a fake smile.

He didn’t buy it, becoming visibly annoyed.

“You’re so full of shit Y/N. Don’t try to play dumb with me right now. I know you’re pissed off about something.”

“Why do I have to be pissed off about something?” I said combatively, crossing my arms.

“Because you’re acting like my touch is gonna make you sick or something and you clearly can’t stand to be around me! Is this because of that tit pic I showed John B? I don’t get it. Are you jealous or something? Or do you just think I’m a sexist pig too?”

“My world doesn’t revolve around you. Have you ever considered that I just stopped giving a shit about what you do?”

I usually felt horrible about lying to my friends, but looking at his beautiful face, thinking of how he didn’t want me, the lie came out easily. He clearly didn’t buy it though.

“Oh really? Is that why you don’t want to fuck anymore? Because you stopped giving a shit about me? Yeah right.” He scoffed and I felt my face start to angrily heat up. “What the fuck is going on? Did someone tell you some bullshit about me? Do you have a boyfriend now or something?”

I scoffed right back at him, widening my eyes in disbelief.

“Would that make you jealous? If I had a boyfriend?”

“Do you or do you not?” He demanded with gritted teeth.

I didn’t answer for a moment, enjoying the stressed expression on his usually uncaring face. Did he really care if I had a boyfriend? Surely not in any way that mattered. Just in some stupid male ego way. I sighed at that and uncrossed my arms as I answered.

“Obviously not. Who would want to be with me? Don’t be stupid, JJ. Now what did you come in here for?”

He looked at me incredulously, as if he couldn’t believe the words coming out of my mouth. I didn’t understand why he seemed so stressed for and it was irritating to me.

“For this conversation, right now! What do you think I came in here for?” He said exasperatedly and I rolled my eyes.

“I don’t know but can you leave? I need to pee.”

“No, I can’t leave until I know what the fuck is going on with you. Jesus! How much have you had to drink?”

Had I been slurring? I couldn’t tell.

“Not enough for this.” I tutted bitterly.

He sucked in his lips and took a deep breath, eyeing me like he was trying to work something out.

“Wait, look at me straight for a second.” He muttered, reaching his hand out to touch my face, angrily repeating himself when I questioned why.

His thumb stroked over my bottom lip and I straightened my back, trying to match his stare but unable to stand completely still. He hadn’t looked at me with such intrigue in a long time, and I was glad I was so high or else I would’ve completely submitted under his blue gaze. His next words instantly shattered any fantasies that could’ve been playing in my head though, instead filling me with unreasonable rage.

“You’re high aren’t you?”

I knew it wasn’t a question. The steely look in JJ’s eyes and his flared nostrils made it abundantly clear that he’d already figured out the answer for himself. But I couldn’t let him think he was right.

“I mean yeah, I’ve smoked a lot today, you have too-”

“You know that’s not what I mean.” He hissed, dropping his hand from my face. “I can’t fucking believe you. This is why you’ve been acting weird. I should’ve known.”

I rolled my eyes and mumbled “You’re overreacting, I’m just drunk” to which he quickly shot back “Oh yeah? Why are your pupils the size of mars then?”

“They’re not.” I felt my footing slip slightly as I lied, and I had to quickly lean against the wall to stop myself from falling.

“And now you’re just lying to my face. Nice one Y/N. How long had you been clean? A year, almost?”

I thought of the hours that he’d spent with me when I’d first gotten sober; looking after me when I was being sick, bringing around food, washing my hair. I’d felt so loved. I’d felt like there was no reason for me to ever pick up a benzo again.

The betrayal in his voice told me that that would never be happening again. With a huff, I picked up my bag from the side and shoved past the blonde, gasping when he grabbed my arm.

“Where are you trying to go now?” He laughed humourlessly.

“Get off me, JJ. I’m going home.”

“What because you’ve been caught out?”

“No. Because you’re being a dick.”

He wouldn’t loosen his grip on my arm despite my desperate pulling and so I started to speak louder, hoping someone would intervene and give me a chance to slip out.

“Get off me!”

“I’m not letting you go.” He said with gritted teeth, tightening his grip. “What have you taken?”

“Get the fuck off me!” I repeated louder, relieved when John B appeared in the doorway.

“What the hell is going on?” He looked between us with a concerned expression and JJ loosened his grip.

“She’s on fucking drugs again, John B.” JJ hissed and though I wanted to argue and try to prove him wrong, I quickly slipped out of the bathroom and paced out of the house, ignoring JJ’s shouts from behind me.

“What the fuck is going on Y/N?”

“Do you just not give a shit about yourself? About your friends?”

“How could you do this? You were clean for so long.”

His words stung, and though I rationally knew he was right, I was too ashamed to feel anything other than anger and embarrassment. The Pogue’s would hate me now, and rightfully so.

I understood why JJ was so annoyed. I’d listened to him seethe about his dad, about how he was an abusive drug addict - but yet, when the blonde came home and he was passed out on the sofa, JJ still always checked if he was breathing. I’d seen the bruises, and met the man who left them, begrudgingly shook his hand and tried to forget what he’d done with them. Was I reminding JJ of that? Was I like his piece of shit father?

In a rush, I picked up my bike and went to get on it but instantly fell over, dropping the bike as I did.

“You’re gonna ride home like this? Seriously?” JJ’s voice came from behind me, loud and aggressive.

I struggled to pick my bike back up, almost falling over it again, and his hands were suddenly on top of mine, holding the handles and stopping me from going. John B was quick behind him.

“Are you really on drugs, Y/N?” John B questioned, eyes wide.

“I’m just drunk.” I hissed, trying to pull the bike out of JJ’s grip.

“Right, she says she’s just drunk, let her go JJ.” John B said harshly but JJ scoffed.

“She’s lying! Look at her! She can’t even walk properly!”

Then he turned to me, his voice suddenly pleading and face full of pain. It caught me off guard and I felt another pang of guilt ripple through my body, tears attempting to escape my eyes but being successfully pushed back by the Xanax.

“What have you taken, Y/N? Please don’t lie to me. I know you’ve taken something.”

I wanted to tell him the truth so bad. The whole truth. I wanted to break down and beg for his forgiveness, to tell him I loved him and that I would get clean again.

But I couldn’t do it.

There was no point.

I’d ruined everything now anyway.

“I’m just drunk. Leave me alone.” I slurred and tried to pull the bike from his grip again.

It didn’t work. I fell backwards onto the ground, landing on my butt with a groan. I laughed at my fall instinctively, forgetting the situation I was in for a second, but when I looked up and saw my friend’s distressed faces my laughing stopped. Even John B looked suspicious now, his eyes snapping from mine to JJ’s. He bent down and pulled me up with ease, though he huffed after he’d done it.

“Y/N, can we look in your bag?”

My heart leapt into my throat and I quickly jumped to defence.

“No way you fucking pervs. Let me go home.”

He turned to JJ with an straight face and both of them exchanged a short look before looking back at me.

That was it. He believed JJ. He knew.

“I’m not letting you ride home. I’ll drive you.”

His voice had been so monotone, so void of any real offering, that it caught me off guard. He was angry. I looked at JJ. He was angry too.

“N-No. I’m fine. I can ride-”

“I’m fucking driving you home, Y/N. Get in the Twinkie.” John B cut me off sharply and I jumped backwards, almost falling again until he caught me.

They both looked so disappointed and I was so ashamed at that point that all I could do was nod, following him silently to the van. JJ said nothing and I didn’t dare look back to see if he was looking, though I felt that I could feel his stare on the back of my head. This was the worst thing that could’ve happened. Why did I have to take it so far? Why did I have to lie to their faces like that?

The short drive back to mine was agonisingly silent, all John B said was “Look after yourself” before I stepped out of the van.

My voice got caught in my throat and all I could force out was “Y-Yeah” before closing the door and stumbling towards my house.

Had I destroyed my friendship with the Pogues? It certainly felt like I had.

[coffeegnomee]

genuinely i think alot of kaboodle's actions on lifesteal can be explained by her scripted lore background. the world of scripted lore is fraught with the idea that "lore" is just... being miserable. it was something that made it difficult for me to get into ksmp (though i did eventually enjoy it), because it felt just so awful all the time. pointless arguments didn't tug at my heartstrings, it made me frustrated. but that's besides the point

i think maybe one of the reasons she takes everything way harder than she should and exaggerates relationships and disagreements is perhaps because she is drawing in past experience to be a good entertainer, in the way she is familiar with. which is so fair! we are formed by our backgrounds. it does unfortunately make it difficult to watch her if you're accustomed to the more ""live action"" sort of format lifesteal is usually in, where people seperate their characters from themselves a little less. but she has a good size audience that seems to fw it, so i dunno

that's just my take on the overuse of the word "betrayal" and such

agree but disagree. yes scripted is usually just being miserable but zam is just miserable all the time and his lore actually makes sense and is very entertaining to watch and he also separates himself from his character (to a degree). but when he is miserable he is consistently miserable while also doing some fun things to distract from the misery or making some impact on the server like cleaning up spawn while being miserable to chat. kab just sits around and talks and does fuck all. sorry. hating. a lot of hating below.

and it's annoying because she is miserable but then will go be fighting her inner demons of destruction, but then won't destroy because she doesn't want to be mean and she cares so much, but then she plans to destroy anyway but then she doesn't do it and doesn't have any consistency in any motivation or characterization and she's all over the place. every hour her emotional state is different and there's absolutely no effort at a throughline and everything before is just thrown out the window.

And it pisses me off that she does come from scripting because surely her characters on ksmp had some throughline and consistency.

and yet her inconsistency on ls does make sense bc in scripted you can plan and succeed with every plan you make when you are literally scripting the outcome.

but on lifesteal you can plan for something cool and fun and it can be taken away in an instant by the very same people you were trying to impress and that is hard and will send anyone into being tilted.

and trying to decide how to react to that is wildly difficult and i dont really envy them having to figure out what to do, but i do wish she would DO something. but that's also unfair because she is doing something, she's rebuilding. but while rebuilding she's going between wanting 4c to help her while also trying to convince him to betray his team while also trying to convince him to give her a heart without a fight while also planning to kill him while also reminding herself she has to be nice to him. so she's just using him. just say it with your full chest. you never cared about him and you just want someone else to do the work to get your own selfish self-pity plan back on the server.

you want to complain and then have someone swoop in and save you. and you dont want to make any effort to actually care about that person.

it's miserably sad and annoying to watch because lifesteal is about caring about people, and she goes on and on an on about caring *so much* but she doesn't give a shit about anyone but herself. and she lies to herself and and chat and insists that she cares.

and yes that's a rather consistent characterization to through at ls!kab but damn if it doesn't read like that at all and she went from genuinely apologizing to 4c to just using him flat out and reminding herself that she needs to use him and cant just kill him.

maybe its just that she's vilely unlikable. maybe that's the point in her scripted mind. make a hatable character. and yet her actions also speak to desperately trying to make a likable character whom youre sympathetic to, she tries desperately to guilt trip and pull at the heartstings about how shes just been betrayed so many times and life is so hard for her and shes so weak and how could you be mean to someone so pathetic and wounded.

but she's not likable at all. she doesnt care about a single other soul or what they care about. the second they put a boundary up she wants to run and leave, which, fair enough, actually a cool characterization of trauma but like also so abusive-coded. but in the end she chose to not abandon bacon as far as we can tell, but i can tell you give it two seconds and that thought will come back and she'll decide to betray him anyway. because nothing is consistent and nothing she says has any long term value. she just goes on the past five minutes to decide what she will do.

she's just so fake and that fakeness can be attributed to the character, but it only feels even more fake because she insists it's a character and not her as she turns around and does something that makes more sense for her to do as herself than the character. she is being two people existing on the same account, swapping out whenever necessary. but that's stupid. take responsibility for your actions and your emotions. stop blaming others.

and yes. it all goes back to how painfully different scripted mcrp is from unscripted.

and i know for damn sure that this will not be like this next season because she will learn from this season. or she doesn't. and that's what's so frustrating. the possibility that she never learns why lifesteal is lifesteal.

the possibility that she keeps writing asshole abusive characters that just get more abusive because of her own internal mental problems that lay unresolved and shoved under the rug like they aren't part of the character even though they are part of herself. she refuses to look at herself and acts like if just just acts hard enough they won't affect anything. they effect everything. you can't run from yourself when you are making unscripted content.

and yes. i am being really mean about someone who clearly has a lot of baggage. yes i am being mean about someone who is abusive as a defense mechanism and hates boundaries because of fear of being alone and all these things that are basically the bully being bullied at home type beat.

but she embraces none of it. doesn't even see any of it. thinks she has written a cute story with kazam, a cute ship that may be a little messed up but is at it's core cute.

it's fucking abusive and shit. it makes my skin crawl. zam is screaming to be let out of it and she thinks it's sunshine and roses. she is, to use the word literally, delusional about her actions. she thinks they are one thing when they are anything besides that.

but we do have one success story. and the trend goes that every lifestealer learns what lifesteal is by their second or third season. they all eventually get it. vi chose to do a very distinct character vs streamer in s4 and he crashed and burned to a degree unfathomable. and he learned from it. and he now says that was his favorite story he ever told. he see's how he's grown as a person because of it.

there is only hope in the future when it comes to kaboodle. lifesteal genuinely changes you and makes you grow. not because you choose to grow, but because it forces it out of you.

but in this moment im just constantly a ball of rage and constantly sent into sadness every time i watch. and she keeps interacting with my mains so im not going to just miss the story, and the progression is already happening, the kablantis shock is a genuinely lifesteal trauma moment for kab and is already changing her in good ways. this is the story, this is part of watching lifesteal. the meta conflict is what makes this server painfully unique. this difficult encounter with players that piss you off. because people in life are like this. people can suck and hurt each other and don't look at their internal mental state, they shove things under the rug and think they're fine and cause sorrow and pain when life gets difficult. that's life. encountering it as story really helps understand the people around you. to be more compassionate, be able to see when theyre hurting and chose to be kind anyway. to learn how to feel the negative emotions and process them and not run from them yourself. or learn how to stick up for yourself and put up your own boundaries and learn that you can. to figure out who you are. it's the best. and the worst. and leaves me hating until i realize it is interesting even though i hate it.

[jackles010378]

A Sweet Serenade

Jensen ackles x y/n

Jensen serenades y/n whilst celebrating their anniversary on a cruise, but jensen has a surprise in store for y/n..................

No warnings needed, it's pure fluff 💚

Jensen and his girlfriend, Y/N, had been together for three wonderful years filled with love and adventure. To celebrate their anniversary, Jensen decided to surprise Y/N with a romantic getaway on a small cruise.

As they boarded the cruise ship, Y/N couldn't contain her excitement. The ship was beautiful, with elegant decor and breathtaking views of the ocean. Jensen had thought of everything, from their cozy cabin to a special dinner reservation under the stars.

One evening, as they were lounging on the deck, Jensen suddenly disappeared into their cabin and reemerged with his guitar in hand. Y/N's eyes lit up with curiosity as he sat down next to her, a mischievous smile playing on his lips.

Without a word, Jensen started strumming his guitar, the melodious notes filling the air around them. Y/N felt her heart swell with emotion as he began to sing a sweet, romantic ballad just for her. His voice was like a warm embrace, wrapping her in a cocoon of love and tenderness.

Y/N was mesmerized by Jensen's singing, each word seemed to be written just for her. She closed her eyes, letting the music wash over her, feeling like she was the only person in the world. The soft glow of the setting sun painted the sky in hues of pink and orange, creating a magical backdrop for their private serenade.

Jensen's voice was filled with emotion, his eyes never leaving Y/N's face, pouring his heart out through each lyric. Y/N felt tears prickling at the corners of her eyes, overwhelmed by the depth of his love for her.

As the song came to an end, Jensen set his guitar aside and took Y/N's hands in his. "Happy anniversary, my love," he whispered, his eyes shining with unshed tears. Y/N flung her arms around him, unable to find the right words to express the love and gratitude swelling in her chest. She kissed him deeply, pouring all her love and devotion into every brush of her lips against his.

As they pulled apart, their foreheads resting against each other, Jensen let out a shaky breath. He was nervous about what he was going to do next. But as sson as he looked into her eyes, he knew that he was making the right decision. He reached out for her hand and gripped it softly. Y/n looked at him, curious at to why he had become all flustered all of sudden.

Then Jensen slipped off his chair and knelt on one knee in front of her. Her eyes went wide as she realised what he was about to do, "Y/n, my love, my rock, my world. Words can not describe how much you mean to me. I should of done this sooner. I realised that the past 3 years of my life have been the happiest and best I've ever lived, and that's all because of you. You are kind, considerate and make me feel things I've never felt about anyone, ever. You mean the absolute world to me, and I don't ever wanna lose you. Your my soul mate, y/n. So would you do me the absolute honor of becoming my wife? Y/n, will please marry me? ".

Y/n didn't hesitate for a moment as she pulled Jensen up and kissed him with all of the love she had in her body. Jensen pulled away from the kiss momentarily "so, is that a yes?" he asked searching her eyes for answer. "Jensen, you are my soul mate, my rock, my partner in crime. I'd love nothing more than to become your wife." Jensen twirled Y/n around in a hug. As he placed her back down he pecked her lips "you have just made me the happiest man on earth".

They sat together in peaceful silence, watching the sun dip below the horizon, grateful for this moment of pure, unadulterated love. Jensen's impromptu serenade had turned a beautiful evening into a memory they would both cherish forever.

I am so rubbish at writing proposals so I hope that sounded ok and you guys enjoyed this 🥰💞

TAGLIST : @nescavaneckdaily @k-slla @cevansbaby-dove @kaleldobrev @janineb86 @deans-daydream @alternativeprincess94 @angelbabyyy99 @cheynovak @winchesterwild78 @suckitands33

[slimeyslimeyballsack]

thanks for tagging me!!!

snippet of doctors and their effects on young boys

"Maybe someday I'll turn into a wolf too," he'd said.

"Probably not. You're not a real werewolf," Oliver answered.

Oliver said that a lot. Told him he wasn't a real werewolf. He didn't mean it in a mean way, Theo thinks. He was right. He wasn't a rap werewolf. He was just an experiment. Real werewolves didn't need the silver stuff. They didn't need the doctors. Theo really wanted to be a real werewolf. Then the doctors could leave him alone. They'd be done with him. He could have a pack. It'd have Oliver in it and maybe even Scott and Stiles. He could be the alpha. Then he'd take care of everybody. He'd be safe. They'd all be safe. Nobody could hurt them again if he was the alpha of a pack.

Oliver told him all about his pack. Told him about how his mom used to let him sleep with her when he had a nightmare. One time, he'd lost control and scratched up his bed. His mom had hugged him until he calmed down. This confused Theo deeply, but he knew he was telling the truth. Knew it in the sound of his heart. Theo knew what lying sounded like.

He heard it in his own heart everytime he said he wasn't scared. Everytime he said they were going to be okay. Oliver wasn't lying.

That was the day he decided he would save Oliver. See, Oliver had somewhere to go home to. He had a family. He had a mom who told him she loved him everday. Who bought him candy bars and hugged him after nightmares. Theo... Theo had killed his family. So, maybe at least one of them could see their family again. Oliver deserved it.

The plan went like this:

_

i only have 3 wips so

text note 11/07

The Lunar Eclipse and Flu Season, Working in Tandem Against Theo Raeken

Doctors and Their Influence on Young Boys: A Case Study

tagging @the-t-stands-for-tall @johnsotherbastard @awinnn23

WIP Wednesday Game

It’s WIP Wednesday, time for a little accountability, sharing your work, and getting a kick in the pants.

Here’s how it works:

In a reblog of this post (so people can find you in the notes) or new thread (w/ rules attached) if you want to play on your own, post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to play!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can't share from (for example, an event or gift fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. I’ll be searching the reblogs to find people to send asks to!

If you’re reading this, you’re invited!

If you see someone posting a WIP Wednesday Game snippet, send them an ask! Make them write.

Requested/Friend event mentions under the cut! If you'd like to be pinged next week, let me know via ask!

@fiore-della-valle @redbirdblogs @greenbergsays @idkfandomwhatever @luckyspike

@obaewankenope @mad-madam-m @anonymousdandelion @geometricfractal @prettybirdy979

@eriquin @aparticularbandit @madnessfromthemountains @makeroftherunes @1attheedge

@whimsicalmeerkat @kidsomeday @lizhly-writes @skyderman @adhdavinci

@owlbearwrites @anachronismstellar @anyctibius @rilannon @lazinesswrites

@zyrafowe-sny @dreaminghour @blue-eyedbeta @candyskiez @dreamerking27

@kalira @virgulesmith @i-want-delfeur @selkies-world @exceedinglygayotter

@oitreewrites @post-and-out @writingattheedge @qqaba @ykthefancyclamwiththepearlinside

@princescar @tigerdragon1001

[putschki1969]

hi puts!

First of all congrats to you and all the kalafans that have made it to the Anni concert! I just couldn't find a way to fly there thanks to the silly leave policies in my company ( i was at work sobbing while the girls were singing probably their last kala live😭😭)

So, what do you think about the possibility of WKH singing live together in the future? I saw a lot of tweets saying there is slim chance... even the girls themselves didn't seem optimistic about it, and the “一夜限り” slogans seemed like they're trying to deliver a long overdue farewell to the fans by this concert for the past 7 years 😭 it's giving me a feeling that they're striving to respond to the love they received from the kalafans, while risking almost recklessly of losing tremendous support from YK sensei's side. I also saw a tweet about the fact that YK unfollowed K&H, this made me so sad although I knew it was totally rational since they previously broke up in such notorious way🥹

But all in all seeing WKH loving each other is the best new year gift to me, i hope them don't lose this precious connection ♥️

Thanks for reading my message!

Hello there!

Awww, thank you! It truly was the experience of a lifetime and I wouldn't have missed it for the world.🥰 Whether it was their "best" concert is probably up to personal preference (the setlist wasn't my cup of tea to be honest) but it definitely felt like their most important concert to me. I think it gave everyone involved a certain peace of mind after everything that had happened in the past seven years.

I am really sorry that you weren't able to make it. Thankfully, we will be getting a TV broadcast so that's a tiny consolation at least.

Hmmmn, as I mentioned in my live report, the girls didn’t even hint at any possible future activities. There was just an endless amount of appreciation/gratitude for the past and present. And as you say, it was more about treasuring a special night together, this miraculous opportunity to sing together one more time. The entire concert had somewhat of a final feel to it, like it was giving us a sense of closure (which we had previously been denied).

While there don't seem to be any concrete plans for the future, the girls are clearly not without hope. They didn't dare (or weren't able) to say anything specific but Keiko didn't miss the chance to utter a few hopeful words, more like a prayer actually, "叶うならまた~/If my wish would come true, maybe [we can do this/sing together] again~"

There's a clear desire to be together again and they evidently have so much love for each other (💙🖤🤍) so that's really all I need to know to remain hopeful. Will it take time? Sure! Will sacrifices have to be made? Absolutely! This concert has strengthened my conviction, my love for Kalafina is as strong as ever, if not stronger. I will wait as long as it takes but I think it's also valid to interpret this concert as a solid send-off for everyone who has previously struggled to let go due to the abrupt way things ended back in the day.

As for Yuki Kajiura and losing her support, I currently don't know what's true and what's not. How does she really feel about all of this? Her initial statement was harsh and immature if you ask me. Was it her prerogative to be upset about the situation, of course! Should she have taken a step back to reflect on what was happening in order to release a more professional statement, I personally think so. But hey, what's done is done and for what it's worth, I think that first tweet was probably the most honest reflection of her feelings. Everything that followed felt a little disingenuous to me, like empty platitudes, her way of providing some much needed damage control. Hikaru and Keiko seem to have talked things through with Yuki but it was probably on a surface level. They apparently had no big issues working together during the YKL Asia Tour but really, what other choice could they have had seeing as their participation was decided long before the whole Kalafina debacle. I wonder though, how all of this will affect future activities. I believe Yuki when she says she still respects the girls as singers but that doesn't mean she is willing to work with them as much as she used to. For the time being, I am optimistic though and feel like nothing much will change on that front. So Keiko will most likely remain a regular member of FJ and Hikaru may appear as guest vocalist from time to time. Although Yuki might refrain from doing Kalafina covers for a while. Or she'll double down and focus even more on Kalafina covers out of spite. We'll know more by March when details for YKL Vol.#21 are announced.

I was not aware of the Twitter thing. Can't say I keep track of who Yuki is following so I wouldn't even be able to confirm that she ever followed the girls in the first place. But if she really unfollowed them over this, I would find it more than petty of her. But I guess it would track with the usual M.O. of ignoring each other's online presence in the ever-lasting feud between Team Yuki and Team Space Craft. Maybe now that Hikaru and Keiko are "aligning themselves with the enemy" (i.e. participating in the Kalafina live and following Wakana on social media) they have fallen out of favour and are being considered as "Space Craft adjacent". Who knows...

I am honestly curious what sort of arrangement Keiko and Hikaru have going on with Space Craft. They obviously did not sign a proper management contract since Keiko is presumably still with Tristone and Hikaru is still a freelancer but there must be some contractual obligations that may or may not affect some of their current and future activities. Keiko has pretty much stopped doing Instagram Lives and mainly shares insights through her Yodel app so I cannot help but wonder if that has anything to do with certain Space Craft restrictions. According to Keiko's messages in Yodel, it is more of a personal choice but meh, the timing is a bit suspicious.

Either way, I hope to see them do more promotional stuff for the upcoming TV broadcast and share a few more pictures/thoughts regarding the concert. Ideally, I want to see them do casual stuff together and post about it on social media 💙🖤🤍but I'm not sure that's gonna happen. I also wonder if we'll get anything special for tomorrow (their actual anniversary). It's probably best not to get my hopes up.🙃

I don't need Kalafina to release any new music and they don't even have to go back to regular live activities but I'd be more than happy to see them hold an annual concert or so. Let's keep our fingers crossed!

Additionally, I hope the girls can continue to focus on their solo careers. Hikaru hinted at already having some plans for further activities once her tour is over (hope to get an announcement soon) and Wakana has her spring live line up. Nothing special in store for Keiko yet (except for that Tristone event) so I am eager for some updates.🙏