#but she doesn't know everything we know That's Why She Acts That Way

[l00se-can0n]

to continue talking about why i believe the political commentary of arcane is flawed, i want to discuss how the piltover-zaun conflict not getting a satisfying resolution hurts caitvi’s writing as a couple. i want to talk about them specifically bc they’re the only endgame couple in arcane and the worst takes i see about the show’s political commentary usually comes from caitvi shippers. i will start by saying that i LOVED caitvi in s1, which is why i’m so disappointed by how they were written in s2. while i understood why people were uncomfortable with caitvi due to caitlyn’s position as an enforcer and vi being a victim of police brutality, it didn’t bother me when i first watched s1 because caitlyn fit into the “good cop” trope and i believed that the series would end with her reforming the police force in piltover. my expectations ended up being subverted when i watched act 1 of s2 after seeing the dark turn her character had. i actually liked seeing caitlyn’s descent into darkness in act 1 because it demonstrated that even “good” people in corrupt systems can still abuse their power. i thought that she would eventually be redeemed since caitvi is the endgame pairing and that is the only way i could see the couple working. after watching act 2, i became less confident that caitlyn would get a proper redemption arc since we only see the aftermath of her actions and she gets offscreen development. again, it makes sense that she would grow less skeptical of the crackdown from noxus after 3-6 months, but it would be more impactful we see what led her there when in ep 3 she used the grey against civilians, threatened heenot, and nearly shot a child. i need to emphasize that the grey WAS used against civilians since the mv montage shows regular civilians running away from it and vi says it was used to “clear the streets”. even if the grey was only used against criminals, it is still a war crime because the use of chemical weapons is prohibited under the geneva conventions. the last time vi and caitlyn were together, caitlyn hit vi with her rifle on a place that vi was already deeply wounded from. the fact that their reunion is caitlyn hitting vi multiple times is a good example of how vi’s trauma is rarely explored by the writers, especially since she is so nonchalant about it. during her time in stillwater, vi was regularly beaten by enforcers, she should’ve been a lot more hostile towards caitlyn when they meet again. vi was one of the main characters who confronted piltover about their oppression of zaunites in s1, but in s2 when caitlyn becomes everything vi hates about piltover, it doesn't harm vi's perception of caitlyn at all. another thing i hated was vi having sex with caitlyn in a jail cell knowing that jinx is going to commit suicide. not only is it ooc for vi since she is shown to be very loyal to her family and is a victim of police brutality, but sexual assault by cops is very prevalent in prisons so it's tone deaf to viewers who experienced police violence. i know that the scene is supposed to be vi “reclaiming her trauma”, but is it really reclamation when her trauma is rarely explored? caitlyn is NEVER confronted by anyone for gassing civilians, falsely imprisoning zaunites, torturing zaunites, and raiding their homes; the fact that she never comes to terms with harming zaunites makes it feel like vi is settling. i understand that lesbian representation is important, but that doesn’t mean that we have to excuse bad writing, especially when said pairing is wrapped up in bad political commentary. pinkwashing and homonationalism are real problems and the way caitvi shippers become apologists of fascism and police brutality is reminiscent of how oppressive power structures justify xenophobia, racism, and aporophobia in the name of “protecting” queer people.

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain God 53

(Prev) (Next) (First)

*Grian*

You choose to wait at least another week to return to your body and It's really unbearable, It's just so boring. You even tried following Scar around to see what he did but he just moped around and lied in bed all day, you appreciate the worry but come on!

...You also know a week is also way too short of a time to make the whole healing process look realistic but you really want to go back and be done with this already.

So you just have to jump back into the vessel and It's done, easy peasy...except you don't, you are called by someone and you stop in place.

First is annoyance, who is calling for you right now? You don't exactly have worshipper so it isn't a prayer...ugh, that didn't feel like Pearl either, not in the slightliest, felt more like electricity...

Then comes the curiosity, after all this never happened before! It's kinda exciting! So, of course, you follow the call... And then you see him, on a roof, a green streak of hair and a mask on his face, Altostratus. He turns towards you, so he's the one that called?

"Altostratus?"

... Wait, why is he here?? He's just another hero?? How did he do that? How can he even see you? Or know that you are here in the first place? Then comes the realization and you sigh loudly, he's another god because of course he is. Why is this the second time you meet another god? Who even is he? There are no gods called "Altostratus", no important ones at least.

"Nasty wound you got there lad"

Wait, you recognize that voice, you know this guy...

"Jeremy?"

"Well... That ruins the dramatic reveal I had in mind... Also call me Joel from now, Jeremy is already a bit overused anyway You would not believe how many mortal parents name their children Jeremy."

Considering he is the main god of a major religion named after him...you can guess.

...

Right, to more important things... He copied your whole idea! That's so embarassing of him.

"Humans got superpowers like six decades ago and nobody got involved but when I do suddenly everyone else is doing it as well? I see how it is."

"Oh shut up, I've been here for years now, longer then you have Gr- wait, there are more gods here?"

Oh...oh he doesn't know. Hmmm, how to explain it to him?

"There's Santa Perla, yeah."

"Why is she here???"

"I don't know, why are you here?"

"Because I wanted to be."

He does realize that answer is just going to make you curious? No one who has a normal reason would act so cagey about it. ... Wait just a moment.

"How did you know my body got shot?"

"I'm the sky, I see everything."

Uh huh...you see how he wants to play it, does he really think he can outwit you that easily? You can see his tells, he's way to expressive even with his mask on.

"You might, so do I... But I don't pay attention to all of it and for a fact neither do you."

"I could be."

"You could but you don't. So how did you know?"

"Who do you think called the hero association about the vigilantes in las nevadas?"

...oh, he did not just say that, he's the one that caused Scar to die in like five different ways! Even worse he's the reason you had to absolutely nothing for a week!

"YOU!"

"Ok maybe I shouldn't - what are you doing? Hey!"

You launch rocks at him a bunch...and again.

"Wha- hey stop it, stop!"

"I knew we were being sneaky and there was no way someone would have seen it!"

"Well, I am someone-" You trow another rock at him for good measure.

"You don't count."

You huff, you'll get your revenge on him eventually. Can't believe your vessel got shot because of this guy being a snitch.

After a while of akward silence Joel tries to restart the conversation.

"Well... I'm sure you have questions. I am ready to-"

"Not really"

. . . Oh wow, his face, you can see a vein on his forehead, you can't help laughing at it. He doesn't seem amused as he tries and fails to swipe at you.

"OK... Well I do"

"Cool" You don't even look at him as you say that, peak disrespect.

"Don't cool me!"

"K"

The sky darkens, thunder rumbles. Oh yeah, sky god, forgot about that. "Ugh, why do you have to be so annoying?!?"

"It's just who I am, I'm the god of chaos not polite small talk"

"You are the god of chaos not of being a little shit!"

You hum a low note, make a pensive expression and then shrug. "Debatable"

He grits his teeth and screams silently, honestly you expected him to explode at you way earlier, that's an A plus in compousure.

"Soo... are we done? I have a vessel to go back to"

"No!"

Oh you think you have found the perfect revenge, at least for now...Joel is so pissed off already and is trying so hard to hide it ... As if the growing storm could be hidden.

"Why are you..."

He sighs to compose himself again, really earning that A plus.

"Xelqua- Grian you need to tell me... what did you came here to do? What *did* you do?"

"I don't *need* to tell you anything."

He twiches, he's probably not used to arguing with people like you... Or maybe he's just bad at arguing with people in general.

"...I would like you to?"

"Hmmm...Only if you tell me what you have been up to."

His eyes narrow and he crosses his arms. "I thought you said you didn't care about me being here and that didn't have any questions for me."

"I changed my mind. I'm the god of chaos, I'm unpredictable like that"

You giggle at that, that's not even a complete lie most of the time and it still peeved him.

"I...see."

"Sooo..? Do we play twenty questions now or?"

You can see as his fist tighten. "Just-... sure! Whatever! If that is what it takes."

[bostoncreamdonut]

The Zaundads song recommendations you didn’t ask for but I’ve decided you needed! Here’s a total of 10 songs and their specific lyric(s) that remind me of Silco/Vander so much that I want to gnaw my hands off.

1. Back to the Old House • The Smiths

I would rather not go

Back to the old house

There’s too many bad memories

Too many memories there

I would love to go

Back to the old house

But I never will

2. About You • The 1975

I know a place

It’s somewhere I go when I need to remember your face

Do you think I have forgotten

About you?

3. I Know The End • Phoebe Bridgers

Either way, we’re not alone

I’ll find a new place to be from

A haunted house with a picket fence

To float around and ghost my friends

No, I’m not afraid to disappear

The billboard said, “The end is near”

I turned around, there was nothing there

Yeah, I guess the end is here

4. forwards beckon rebound • Adrianne Lenker

Over the Dead Sea, keepin’ you company

Thinkin, “I’m not afraid of you now”

I’m not afraid of you now

Pullin’ your face close, wanting the inmost

Show me I’m not afraid of you now

I’m not afraid of you now

Villain and violent, infant and innocent

Baby, both arms cradle you now

5. Merry Christmas, Please Don’t Call • Bleachers

Oh, golden boy, don't act like you were kind

You were mine, but you were awful every time

So don't tell them what you told me

Don't hold me like you know me

I would rather burn forever

But you should know that I died slow

Running through the halls of your haunted home

And the toughest part is that we both know

What happened to you

Why you're out on your own

6. Fable • Gigi Perez

Direct me to someone who gives me the juice and new rules

Someone to tell me we're not born to be mules in this

Everything, it contradicts

Hedges of prayer

'Cause you believe, doesn't mean that it's there, it's so rare

It's so rare that somebody'd look out for you

7. Scott Pilgrim V. My GPA • Mom Jeans

Don't go back to our old place it's probably locked up anyway

I bet it still looks looks the same as when I ran away that day

It doesn't matter anyway

8. Once More to See You • Mitski

Come inside and be with me, alone with me

Alone, with me alone

If you would let me give you pinky promise kisses

Then I wouldn't have to scream your name

Atop of every roof in the city of my heart

If I could see you

Once more to see you

9. Atlantis • Seafret

I can feel you lying there all on your own

We got here the hard way

All those words that we exchange

Is it any wonder things get broke?

Losing everything I've ever known

It's all become too much

Maybe I'm not built for love

If I knew that I could reach you, I would go

It's in my heart and in my head

You can't take back the things you said

10. Mis • Alex G

My baby's alright

She just doesn't wanna see me tonight

Not for a minute

Not for a second

She says, “Nothin' here for you to make right”

[prentitsluvr]

this was gonna be a post about my emily headcanons but i got way too carried away with literally the first one so this is now a post about why i think emily is autistic. i'm gonna put a page cut in because this post got way longer than i intended LMAO

this is a huge one for me, i literally like, in therapy sessions i've been bringing in compilations of emily from each individual season and explaining to my therapist how the clips make her autistic.

i think she's autistic bc she skin picks, which is a form of stimming and also a compulsive/obsessive behaviour which a lot of autistic people (such as myself) struggle with.

a lot of the time when she jokes/is sarcastic it isn't picked up on by others -- such as in 05x20 when she talks about her 'sin to win weekend in atlantic city', it's most likely that she's just fucking with morgan (because of her confusion at the end of the episode until he clarifies and she suddenly snaps back into that sort-of joke), and also like in 06x10 when one of the police officers (?) is asking her if he could join the FBI if he had a prior and she was like "oh well if it was a mistake" and he was like "really?" and she just looked at him and said no

she's got a pretty monotone voice compared to the rest of the team, and the same with her facial expressions. i love looking at her next to rossi because he's very expressive with his voice and his face, and it puts it into perspective how little she actually moves her face (which is also quite interesting when you compare it to how expressive paget is)

she tends to make kind of strange eye contact. when she does make direct eye contact it's pretty intense and with quite Wide eyes. But a lot of the time she's a little avoidant with her eyes, she might look at the other person momentarily before glancing away again. an episode that comes to mind is 02x11 when she's talking to Hotch and she's talking about her mother and she has to look away before she's able to talk. when i was more masked, i always did this kind of thing, because making eye contact was so intense and took up so much of my brain that i couldn't formulate sentences, so i would look away to be able to think of words and then look back at the person when i spoke

she's really good at sort of acting/pretending to be someone else. we've seen this when she puts on a persona to talk to unsubs, and also when we found out she was undercover as Lauren for 2 years. this is often a form of masking/a sign of a good ability to mask. i know a lot of autistic people who've gone into theatre because they find it so easy to become a character, since they're already essentially acting in their everyday life

she's very secretive and doesn't trust easily. she relies on herself for everything. this could partly be because of her trauma -- her neglect from her mother (and seemingly absent father), which would've led her to have an avoidant attachment style. but it is also a trait of many autists who have learned that others can't be relied on to help us

she thinks very objectively and logically, but is also intensely passionate and has a very strong sense of justice. when she does let her emotions lead her thinking and actions, it's often to more of an extreme. what comes to mind for this is 03x05 when she finds out the little girl is being abused and she gets extremely intense about it (rightfully so) in a way we don't normally see from her.

she actually stims a fair amount. there's a lot of moments of her playing with something like a pen, bracelet, or spoon, and also the aforementioned skin picking. she also often has 't-rex arms', where she holds her arms up at her sides (similar to how reid does, although i feel his are more obvious and emily often only does one hand, which is the same as me)

the way she holds her hands while she's standing is common in autistic people, it's called posturing. she does a lot of small things like this

this post got away from me a little lmao, i could go way more into detail on some of these things (and more that i inevitably forgot about when making this list) but this was not supposed to be this long a post, or focused on just this one headcanon LMAO

[9mysterybook6]

Rhylie She lives in her corrupt Fantasy

She is now pitiful with all this

She treats everything like a game and doesn't take anything seriously.

I was right about calling her a clown

Now she is making herself the laughingstock of everyone.

This is all just nonsense

You are really a real fool clown

As someone wisely said, comment on you

does Rhylie thinks she can just h4r4ss and bully you and other people and just slide and get away from the consequences? like ain't no way are we letting that slide,

She lives in a corrupt fantasy

I mean look at this

And this is the her stupid video

You know what's funny?

Just for information Rhylie

You are using a Black Hat from Villainous In your imagination

(Black Hat is the overarching protagonist of Villainous. A retired villain, he currently entertains himself by managing a company, Black Hat Organization, which sells products and services to other villains in exchange for money and/or souls.)

You act like you're the heroine while working with the most evil character in the fandom

Even in her imagination she is stupid and illogical.

And she is still clowning around

I do not regret anything, but I am proud of myself for standing up to an unjust person

And look at this, her latest stupidity

you taking my post about expose you. and edited the post to say you was Innocent While the truth all of this is guilt tripping And lies that you can't post without copying my post in a bad way.

I laugh, you expose me for what? , for me exposing your crimes

You are wrong about everything

What do you hope will happen when you mention my channel?

To attack me too on YouTube

You are literally digging your own grave.

And here we have @shadowwolfmemes Questions Rhylie about the truth

And let me just say all this is just crocodile tears

Rhylie evaded the question, changed the subject on her harassed on people.

Everything she said was a lie on top of a lie.

And you know what's funny?

She tells you that she is guilty and regretful while she did nothing.

And her parents Part are Either just a lie or an excuse

She lied more than once It is difficult to know the truth among her lies

This is her mistake in this matter in her persistence in lying which made any of her words for to be doubtful and suspicious

And now, after everything, you admit your crimes after your insistence on denying them.

(((And my root of my actions are Manipulating Gacha Community to be more popular as I'm changing opinions, my actions are totally wrong for everybody including myself, Lying To 9mysterybook6 And Galacticsomewhat For Harassing And Bullying Them, Lying To Everyone On Tumblr About Galacticsomewhat And 9mysterybook6, all my actions are wrong for everybody.

I think, I have learned my lesson. It's wrong to lie, manipulate, harass, bully, controll and threats everybody and even tell anybody that they can or can't do.)))

Now you are doing the same thing before

You are sorry and you say you regret it and then you repeat everything

Let me ask you a question for Rhylie What about this drawing of solosergiohd

You drew a character holding the eyes of a real person.

This is what I call harassment, bullying and attacking people.

That's why I told you to see a psychiatrist.

And not only this

Rhylie continued to write fanfic about solosergiohd

In Rhylie fanfic she makes him the villain and makes him suffer And humiliate him

And you also attacked zb189 He was also exposing you for who you really are.

Everyone here on tumblr is judging your actions and behavior.

All this was revealed in the light

Great everyone here has lost their braincells from This is so stupid and foolish🤦‍♀️💀

[elainsgirl]

So I saw elriel related vids on tiktok and saw a g/wynriel saying in the comments that Sjm likes/is inspired by mythology and that clotho giving the necklace to her means that she is the golden string between Azriel and Gwyn. I'm like... what???

They put soo much importance to that necklace and bonus chapter alone. What if clotho doesn't even give it to Azriel which some of us speculate, because clotho saw how sad he was while trying to get rid of the necklace?

And It's sad how the chapter is brought so out of context that they completely ignore the first part and all the intimacy between Elriel

I feel like Azriel being able to smell elucien bond and Elain being able to see visions definitely has deeper reasons. Maybe she even saw visions of her with Azriel or Vassa with Lucien which is why she is so distant from Lucien. Maybe she already knows/feels he's not the one for her. Or simply doesn't like him like that way

I just find it so funny when antis nitpick the mythologies they choose to believe Sjm is following. The mythology where Ivan’s 3 sisters marry 3 bird-transforming wizards and he’s off to save his wife who is cursed by Koshei? Nah Sjm clearly isn’t following that one.

Clotho is the “gold string” between gwynriel? The one connecting them together? Kind of a bold statement to say when she has done absolutely nothing for Gwynriel- by acosf there is no mention of Gwyns necklace despite her meeting with Clotho on page aftet solstice, simple deduction -> she hasn’t given the necklace to gwyn. Therefore she has started nothing between them, she has not interwined their fate together. Far from a fated string,

Now, Clotho is connected to fate - she could have given the necklace to gwyn - who would have then worn the necklace, this could have symbolically ended elriel and began Gwynriels fated love story, ofc none of that happens.

I just find it so embarrassing when they try to make the necklace work for Gwyn, it was brought with another woman in mind. Everything about that necklace - the rose, 3 colours, its simplicity yet beauty when light passes through- it all screams Elain. Not Gwyn, nothing about that necklace is associated with Gwyn - its why I strongly believe she doesn’t have it. Sjm wouldn’t make her wear jewellery symbolic of another woman, also…the idea that mated men gift their mates jewellery yet gwyns mate is out here, taking his time and buying a necklace for another woman- the whole thing is icky and so unromantic for Gwynriel. I also believe Az went back for the necklace.

*Can you imagine if Clotho did give Gwyn the necklace but we find out the reason she hasn’t worn it is because it wasn’t her style? Lmfao*

What else can they place importance on for gwynriel? What part of acosf screams Gwyn and Az are mates! They’re the next love story! The bonus is the foundation of gwynriel and it’s something GAs can’t deny either. This same bonus that has not been reprinted (to my knowledge) or even included in the SE despite how popular it is. If Azriels book was next - his bonus would’ve been the perfect addition. I mean what do you expect? These same antis that minimise the importance of the TT, Hybern, Az figuring out elain is a seer, “why not make them mates?” Scenes. Ofc they’re going to act oblivious to the importance of elriels bonus chapter. The fact Az wanted to BEG on his knees for Elain, finding out the secret Nesta realises in acosf is all about Elain, Azriel aversion the elucien bond. Im sure in the mind of antis -these are just useless filler scenes mass chose to focus and write on for a reason they can never explain. Sometimes it truly feels like Antis have read a different bonus chapter to the established one, in fact it sometimes feels like they’ve read completely different books w the interpretations they come up with 😭

The fact Azriel can smell eluciens bond is glossed over bcs it proved he hs some connection to Elain otherwise the bond should not affect him the slightest. Mass was clever w her wording in acowar - “only a mate can sense what is amiss” -> Lucien sprouting the same thing Amren/Madja said - yet what I find so interesting is compare him to Az in that scene, Lucien is so clueless and helpless for Elain yet Az focuses on her and knows what’s wrong. “ a mate can sense what is amiss” - certainly it wasn’t Lucien,

And I know antis love refuting this by saying “Az is a spy! So ofc he would’ve known” hmmm So was Lucien at a point hence why after seeing the foreshadowing of Elain becoming a spy- eluciens came up with the theory that Elain would be a spy- not w the current spymaster she was compared too, no, but with the ex spy Lucien anways. ✨ anti logic ✨ never fails to make you confused and leaves you with a headache.

I think its a mixture. The bond is unnatural to Elain and she isn’t attracted or interested in Lucien hence her disinterest. I honestly cannot wait for Elains pov on this whole matter.

[an-orca-on-a-stroll]

Severance season 2 ep1 thoughts/theories under the cut

(long post!)

Ok FIRST of all whomst the fuck is this creepy guy we see in the background after Mark goes to Wellness in the beginning of the episode???

2. The italian guy is played by an actual italian actor, and him saying "Why's he standing weird?" when Mark comes in the office first time was so unexpected lmfao

3. I'm 100% conviced everything Milchick told Mark is bullshit. "It's been 5 months"? then why does it look like he just moved into Cobel's office? Who's been managing the severed floor in the meantime?

This newspaper is obviously fake as fuck

The photo is in black and white and the cars are old models, this is in line with Lumon's habit of only exposing innies to dated technology. Now lets zoom in a bit shall we

"Mark S, Helly R, Irving B, and Dylan G, the very famous “Innies” (…) All four of them gave speeches, praising the “courageous” acts of their Innies and thanking Lumon for its accomodations." -> If the outies gave the speech, then why are they dressed as their innies? Plus look at Mark smiling. Dude would not be smiling. He didn't smile before, and he's not going to have anything to smile about now, we saw him in the trailer and he was a mess.

4. They're trying to pin everything on Cobel, make it seem like SHE was the sadist and deviant (and she was, but god forbid women have hobbies. also the "throuple" things was hilarious and holds so many implications?? dating someone's innie and outie at the same time is a throuple??? lmfao) that did all that while Lumon only wants the best for its employees. Milchick is lying making it seem like the MDR gang changed things significantly with their going on the outside. But IMO it hasn't been 5 months, and we dont know exactly how the outside is taking the news but it definitely is not as black & white as "these innies are heroes and everybody loves them". In the meantime Milchick is trying to appease them by offering more perks, snacks, etc. and by pretending he's the good guy that doesn't want to be their jailer.

Not buying it Seth, I know what you said in the trailer:

5. He's also lying about outie Mark begging to go back to Lumon.

Really, Seth? Looks the other way around to me.

6. There is no way in hell there are no more cameras on the severed floor

This is immediately after being shown the video with their conversations and VOICE RECORDING taken from the security cameras. Without their consent. Like be for fucking real right now.

7. This part of why the others weren't present, and what comes after is really strange and can't form an opinion on it

Let's think about it. Would Dylan refuse? his innie didn't go to the outside to make trouble. He doesn't seem to suspect anything about Lumon either, at most he saw what Helly said on tv but like, for him that day was just a regular day except maybe that he came back from work later. Would he be so adamant about quitting his job after just that? Seems kinda strange.

Irving obviously has something going on with Lumon. The paintings of the elevator, plus the fact he has a list of Lumon's severed employees in his home for some reason? He's definitely digging into Lumon. Obsessed as he is, I doubt he would quit.

Helly actually makes sense that she would not come back bc for starters she doesn't want to be there, and after how much damage she's done I doubt Helena would let her return, but we have that whole theory about Helly being Helena in this ep so....yeah

Anyway it's all very strange. Mark comes back alone and Milchick tells him it's because the others quit (or we fired them and arent telling you), sorry! Then Mark has a tantrum because he wants his friends back and suddenly they ARE back? Like the next day? Or IS IT the next day?

8. Which brings me to the next point, the time Mark goes in the elevator after his transgression and apparent firing is really, really weird. Instead of the normal transition of him changing his expression as he becomes his outie, and then changing back as he goes down the elevator again, we get a BLACK elevator and a BLACK screen

You know what other elevator is black??

I think he stayed in the testing floor at least until the end of the day, possibly more, and they fucked with his perception to make him think he went back up. Also, in that scene we don't see the arrow on the elevator

As far as we know, the elevator for the regular entrance could also go to the testing floor, not just the black elevator. And maybe the arrow on it changes depending on if it goes up or down.

As for the others from team MDR, they might've been in the testing floors too during the work day, possibly without their outies knowing, who knows. I don't think they'd be there permanently like Gemma, not after their publicity at the Lumon event in which there were their photos, and Helly's speech at said event. But this is just a theory, I don't think there is enough material to fully support it, except for Mark.

9. The whole video segment. What the fuck. Taking their rebellion and making it part of the narrative for the oppression?? Including their private moments and other things taken completely out of context with recordings of their own voices?? Truly dystopian evil shit. Loved the stop motion animation though, gotta hand it to Lumon. Also is that Keanu Reeves's voicing the building???

10. Is Helly really Helly or is she actually Helena? Hard to say at this stage but I'm leaning more on her being Helena. She's just acting weird. The lying first of all; on one hand, it's been a hot minute since everything happened so lying might be just a first instinctual reaction, like denial. But on the other hand, at the event she still spoke out against her outie and denounced the whole company in front of everybody. Why would she be ashamed of her hatred for her outie and Lumon now?

Irving clocked in on her immediately lol. I think he figured it out so he doesn't want to tell the others what he did on the outside while she's there. Also the way "Helly" looks at Irving and says "...Yeah" to the question before this is very sus to me, can't explain it with just screenshots though.

Plus it's just the way she acts in general. Very subdued, less sassy, trying too hard to be sympathetic with Mark and the others, feels forced. There's that scene in the trailer of Helena "studying" the security camera footage of her innie, possibly to learn how to act like her. She's looking at Helly kissing Mark, and then in ep1, she offers her support to Mark to find Gemma etc... I'm not saying Helly wouldn't help Mark, but the way she tells him gives me strange vibes, and it's also strange that she decides to stay at all just for him.

11. Irving man. Just. Holy shit 😭

Also Dylan and Irving friendship!!!!!!!!!!! Screaming crying throwing up etc. Not gonna expand on this or this post would go on forever but man the actors really gave an outstanding performance. What a scene

12. Finally the big reveal of what kind of data the Macrodata Refinement boys are refining

BROOOOOOO i was. not expecting that holy fuck. So they've been "refining" the data on like. the brain? of the other severed employees through their chip? They're sorting it into bins then what? They're deleting memories? Locking them up, or sorting them between stuff they're supposed to remember as innies vs what they should forget??? Is that why the numbers are scary??? Even if that's why, how do they know the numbers are scary? Also, there is a time limit on files, right. What happens to the person associated with the file, when they don't refine it to 100% within the limit? Is this for like, every new severed employee, or just the ones on the testing floor? So many questions holy shit

Anyway thats enough rambling for this ep, I really hope in the next one we see the outies so we get some clarity on what's going on. But man what a start

[batcavescolony]

Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.

[morninkim]

As a show of good faith toward the remaining Decepticons at the beginning of a new, united Cybertron, newly appointed Senators Bumblebee and Soundwave allowed Shatter and Dropkick to enlist into Autobot City's Defense Team.

These two turned out to be... not the best choices.

The city may have fallen to Insurgent Decepticon occupation had it not been for young recruits Hot Rod and Arcee's accidental interception of Shatter's communication with the fugitive Starscream.

To replace the errant Defense Team members, Springer and Blurr were reassigned from Iacon to Autobot City in their stead.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

among the boundless billions zaniness like laugh track as it definitely has that moment of expressing "rolling my eyes as The Left makes a kerfuffle of Acting like they have a stance as a veneer over the true belief that [xyz] is cool & chill actually" like what, approximate 0.000% chance wendy isn't, as usual, given the Objective Stance of "yeah yeah ohh we are cancelling involved parties talking about how we Don't watch this But. we all love this damn epic movie & already have it memorized so shut the fuck up, kids today" like. don't wanna really delve into how much billions thinks taylor or anyone is "really" trans / nonbinary like not too much benefit of the doubt in this material including what does provide info abt that specifically

& the general like [head in hands. what do you think any of this could possibly be about (you're the one that made your show at all about Power)] of "yes, it's bad/wrong to be someone that someone has done something to / victim of something" like that to be anti misogyny All Women Must Be Epic Winners b/c there's something to be proved: that they don't Deserve to be victims (of misogyny), not taken as a Given. while when we see some epic winner men stepping on other men (who need not all be guaranteed Winners so as to say misogyny is wrong), that's often Good, well beyond any assumption that various forms of basic disrespect / violation / patterns of emergent/entrenched power difference as Bad (for being things done to people, not for there being people they're being done to), & generally billions has to take an extra step when ppl get shitted on & tell us the Specific Cases when it was undeserved actually & someone was being mean to a specific person who didn't deserve that. & the specific cases when hey guess it wasn't that bad(tm) or when hey It's Okay that you're someone something was done to, in this case. & tell us what we were supposed to know all along like when someone who something was being done to (wrong Of Them, whether b/c they inherently deserve it no matter what, &/or b/c they failed to be someone who could make it Impossible to do anything to them, which, how do you do that besides being The Authority / Superior yourself, exactly? nonrhetorically? what if the in group vs out group / fascism / authoritarianism protected Me?) was actually being treated Too Well b/c ah well the abuse meant you were getting any attention, maybe it meant you were claimed as any superior's property, maybe it meant you weren't Already disposed of, as all Losers were in the end, You're Welcome.

obviously referring to winston where it's spelled out all the abuse towards him was deserved, & More than he deserved in the case of rian having more access & taking advantage of that, all for billions' enjoying its own sendoff there of, again, maximizing violation & violence short of [real violence is physical & leaves bruises / draws blood / Literally kills] which would be distasteful in general But doesn't it make wags look like the winner & winston the loser is that the former's completely unrelated completely impersonal ego blow gets way amplified taken out on winston, the most vulnerable recurring character when spyros as [first & ultimate Everyone Hates Him role] is more entrenched in there & billions still magnanimously pities tuk, as it does winston too, just not quite as much. again that like completely surface level realized power fantasy of forcing the mirror up to the Inferior so they're like nooo my inferiorityyyy & in doing so like, the projection in that lmao, we get it re: the valuing of & need(tm) for such Power Tripping & Reaffirming My Superiority & My Ego Restored; Everyone Claps like good god. & then for all ben & tuk are the slightly softer Two Too Nice Boys duo to the rian & winston quant duo, also like too nice i guess but not as much, ben is in charge of tuk but Any instance of rian being in charge of winston outstrips them in that "yay interpersonal abuse" dynamic, like then in the end billions may be like "yeah it's possible to be mean to them unlike how being mean to winston is actually Nice b/c he deserves everything he gets, we only vicariously enjoy it vs Feeling Bad for tuk & ben sometimes (still magnanimously & it's Not That Bad / just goofin)" like ben & tuk still Fail by not being people it's impossible to do anything to. & not Exceptions who anyone is really being Too Mean to. like if they were women, in which case, no problem surely with a "positive" kind of victim blaming where there is something Inherent that Will be victimized so hey how about to cancel that out there's this special Paternal Protection you Need always, Or Else? :) but instead they are men who are asian & is ben gay & w/tuk & winston nobody mentions glasses or fatness but billions doesn't really do much or very in depth textual mentioning of Anything, even w/nonzero mention that there may be gender & race in this world. a gay man, once. no disability. we just Know who are the inferiors who deserve it when they're treated inferiorly, or if they don't, they start deserving it when they fail to stop/avoid it, but if you start mentioning the factors behind who we all totally agree is inferior like whoa nobody was Saying any of that? being the real agent of oppression on the basis of the factors only You spelled out, much? nonbinary? i never say anything about the Gender Binary when i'm subscribing to it, sounds like You've created & enforced it. obfuscation & deflection onto [so Just Normal nobody has to label, explain, or argue it] couldn't serve a purpose & protect the existing power differences as they are. maybe You're the problem? perhaps you brought it upon yourself & now you're causing too much trouble standing up for yourself while everyone else's criticism is laser focused on you as the prior & continuing negative actions done to you are taken as a given / unquestioned / covertly protected to overtly encouraged?

anyway so wild if the Completely Normal(tm) Victim Blaming is uncritically recreated & oft embraced for "if you're watching this & don't wish you were axe / find him appealing" [billions as a sequence of vicarious power trips] purposes in this series....but a bit wild considering like this is your multiseason show that wasn't just purporting to be those power trips for [enough demographic & apparently specific personal tastes overlap w/creators] & was at all purporting to question the matters of power at play in the material, or yknow, at least to not be completely superficial material while said material is textually & thematically all about power difference being leveraged, how, the consequences, & so on. thus i will have to intermittently talk about it forever like this like lord unbelievable. & the funny little & sometimes less funny less little characters it has trapped in there so that those of us who were never meant to be in the audience can be cursed with this knowledge. like i have some feedback. "imagine not victim blaming" & "imagine adjusting your perspective can go beyond superficial layers added to politely defer to some other ppl while they're present but really like cmon do they deserve that. am i not just saying what we're allll thinking"

[ectonurites]

SUPER DARK TIMES (2017) DIR. KEVIN PHILLIPS

[add1ctedt0you]

I am craving for a zcx' modern au, where, after years apart, jc, wwx and lwj encounter again. lwj and wwx are married and after some time, jc starts to hang out with lwj, but only with him (they are kind of exs... Or at least so lwj thinks!)

[fellator]

but also im kinda sorta worried about him because a lot of the things he said (not only this specific time, but also like. all this time they've been fighting) really sound like the way i operated when I was having Really Bad depression and being sort of a fucking asshole about it

[shitpostingsapphic]

Why I don't feel disappointed by Vi's arc, but you might

I usually have pretty strong and polarizing opinions when it comes to my takes on Arcane, but this is one where I wanna open up the discussion a bit more and invite people to my perspective, and it's fine if you don't see it this way.

I think there are two primary reasons why people feel disappointed by the arc of s2 Vi. The first, being that Vi had stronger voiced concerns about the state of Zaun in the first season. The second, being that she spent the whole show wanting to be with her sister and she didn't end up getting that.

Why I actually feel fulfilled in Vi's arc has to do with these two points, and I invite you to sit with what I have to say next.

Both of these parts of Vi have to do with her fatal flaw: her neglect of self.

We know two things based on what the creators have said about the show: the theme of Arcane is the cycle of violence, and the entire show was written together, instead of season 2 being written after season 1 production. From this, I can then ask: what do the creators want to tell their audience about this message, knowing they wrote it all out together, knowing the events of season 2 were very purposeful, using Vi as a conduit for that message?

If violence is a cycle, can one person defy it? No, of course not. At the start of Vi's arc, she wants to be a person that breaks it, though. She wants to change things in Zaun, wants a better life for her sister. As season 1 continues on, she wants to pick up where she left off with Powder without truly processing the gravity of the years between them. She thinks she can hold the world on her shoulders and fix any problem that comes her way. She thinks she can use her fists to make progress, thinks she can physically reach out and create change, but it only contributes to the cycle. And that's not because she's morally in the wrong when she does so, but she doesn't grasp yet that her fists can't fix everything. Vander tries to tell her as such in act 1, and it's a lesson that goes beyond just the literal application.

Vi's tendency to try and fix everything around her leads to her neglect of self. Inevitably, when you try to change things you have no control over, it leaves wounds. It leaves a person feeling like something is deeply wrong with them. And we watch Vi go down this spiral. I actually find myself really brokenhearted watching Vi in the first 2 acts, because I think she represents a lot of us: we see pain and devastation around us, but we don't know what the right thing to do is. We try different tactics and try to fix things and are left wondering why things feel worse than how they started.

I think that's something a lot of viewers could benefit to reflect on: I think in watching a show with strong political messaging, we yearn for a message that tells us the answers to these big problems. Truthfully, most of us don't have a fucking clue what we're doing. We want change but don't know how to see it through. That includes the writers. This isn't a show about the solution to political strife. It's about the cycle of violence. It's about not knowing how to change something that's been continuous throughout history in some form.

If we put ourselves in Vi's shoes, it would eventually take a toll on us to try and change something that isn't within our ability to change. Vi can't fix the problems in Zaun. Vi can't change the way time and distance and pain has warped her sister into someone else. In season 2 act 1, she's still trying to take responsibility for things that are outside of her control. She blames herself for the way Jinx has changed and has to tell herself that the only way to fix it is to end the cycle with her own fists. She teams up with Caitlyn because she's convinced herself it's the only way she can help. She sees how violence has devastated not only Zaun but innocents in Piltover as well, and she feels responsible for it.

BUT SHE IS NOT AT FAULT. And she cannot fix it any more than she could have created it.

Perhaps people may feel Vi's arc is lacking because they wanted to see more of her involvement in the revolution of Zaun. They wanted to see her be able to change the situation with her sister and for them to live happily together. But because of the circumstances surrounding both, for Vi to do so, she would inevitably lean into her fatal flaw. She cannot do either of those things without neglecting herself. That's not who she is.

The whole point of a character arc is for someone to be a changed person from beginning to end. If Vi starts out as someone passionate about enacting change to the point of self-destruction, what would a resolution for a character like that look like?

Vi needs to choose herself. Vi needs to release herself of the responsibility of changing the world. She can't do it. There are ways to contribute to positive change that don't involve putting the world on your shoulders, and Vi has yet to put herself first in any situation. Vi choosing love is how she does it.

Amanda Overton, one of the main writers that contributed to Vi's character and the Caitlyn and Vi dynamic and relationship, said about Vi: "If she has no one left to protect, she would fall in love". If Vi finally lets go of this crutch of hers to protect, to fight, to take responsibility for things that aren't her burden to bear, she would fall in love. She would finally be able to choose something for herself.

This is why I find her arc fulfilling. I feel like it's not an arc we really see a lot. It's not every day we have a character that starts out like the classic anime slash marvel protagonist, and instead of being the person that saves the world, they accept they're not a superhero and it's okay to choose love and personal happiness.

If it applies, and you're reading this, I want you to ask yourself: are you perhaps disappointed with her arc because you expected her to be the superhero? And would you be okay with accepting that she isn't and doesn't need to be? That it would be better for her to choose herself?

[astonmartinii]

passion for fashion | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x fem it girl!reader

she's everything and he's just ken (in a red bull shirt)

MASTERLIST | TIPS | MY SMALL BUSINESS

vogue

liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1 and 490,233 others

tagged: yourusername

vogue: it's the start of the f1 season, you know what that means... y/n y/ln fashion season is in session

view all comments

user1: @yourusername make sure you're windows are bolted shut tongiht... you're on my rob list

user2: and mine PLEASE SPARE ME SOME OF YOUR CLOTHES

user3: her and lewis hamilton are the only real ones in that paddock

user4: the way they're still besties despite what went down in 2021 >>>

lewishamilton: me and y/n 🤝 making the paddock our runway

yourusername: someone has to make it interesting around here

lewishamilton: see @maxverstappen1 even y/n is bored of you winning everything...

maxverstappen1: womp womp

lewishamilton: womp womp ???? have some decorum

maxverstappen1: jokes on you i don't know what that means

user5: i wish i looked that good candidly

user6: at what point do we stage an intervention for max's wardrobe

user7: babe if the girlfriend effect still hasn't hit then it's terminal

user8: especially when your girlfriend is Y/N Y/LN

maxverstappen1: i'd do anything for her <3

yourusername: even wear something other than red bull merch?

maxverstappen1: let's not get too far ahead of ourselves

user9: i love them your honour

yourusername

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 1,209,445 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: max verstappen wins, water is wet

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user11: water is wet and i will be drowning myself in it tonight

user12: me after hearing the dutch national anthem one too many times

landonorris: tell him he has too many already and he should let his best friend have a go

yourusername: he said that's not possible because i don't know how to drive an f1 car

landonorris: nuh uh you can't be his best friend and his girlfriend that's not fair

maxverstappen1: welp, idk what to tell you buddy

landonorris: i feel BETRAYED

yourusername: i'm sorry i'm just that loveable lando... i see how it is

landonorris: HOW HAVE I BECOME THE VILLAIN?

user13: max terrorises them on the grid and in the paddock they maximise their joint slay to terrorise everyone in a two mile radius

user14: they slay so much i can't even be angry at it

danielricciardo: so that's why i was kicked out of the elevator

yourusername: you weren't kicked out it was your floor?

danielricciardo: why did i not make the post? I THOUGHT I MEANT MORE TO YOU

maxverstappen1: just because we both had teenage crushes on you doesn't make you special. you'd have to fight seb and jenson for real special treatment

yourusername: throw fernando and kimi in there as well.

danielricciardo: i was confident in my fighting chances, but i'll leave nando and kimi to it

maxverstappen1: pussy

danielricciardo: EXCUSE ME

yourusername: idk how we got here but don't talk to my boyf that way daniel 😔

danielricciardo: i'm blocking both of you

user15: i am so baffled

user16: IT couple for real

maxverstappen1

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 1,034,448 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: clocked in for my shift as the trophy husband to the prettiest girl in the world

view all comments

user17: max verstappen why is there a whisper meme in your photo dump

user18: his ass acting like he wasn't at one of the most prestigious galas in the world

charles_leclerc: YOU got an invite and that's the best you could do

maxverstappen1: you better take that back right now y/n dressed me tonight and i look SEXY and COOL

yourusername: charles :( he looks very handsome

charles_leclerc: my bad y/n i wasn't aware that was your pick

yourusername: SAY HE'S HANDSOME CHARLES

charles_leclerc: ??? no

yourusername: wow. you really aren't a girls girl charles. i am disappointed

maxverstappen1: does our history mean nothing charles? i have no issue recreating the inchident at the next race

charles_leclerc: FINE. you look very handsome max

yourusername: more passion please

charles_leclerc: you look very handsome max!

yourusername: more! give the lestappen girlies some crumbs to feed on

charles_leclerc: YOU LOOK VERY HANDSOME

maxverstappen1: thank you 😊

user19: ignoring what ever the fuck that was ... MAX IN A SUIT WHAT THE FUCK MAX IN A SUIT

user20: y/n y/ln the woman you are

user21: so how can we implement this willingness to wear a suit into his paddock fashion

lewishamilton: you might have to waterboard him

charles_leclerc: i volunteer as tribute !

yourusername: 🤨

maxverstappen1: 🤨

f1paddockfashion

liked by user24, user25 and 11,029 others

tagged: maxverstappen1 & yourusername

f1paddockfashion: max verstappen in non-red bull attire? MAX VERSTAPPEN IN NON-RED BULL ATTIRE? also y/n slaying as per.

view all comments

user24: this is - i don't know how to feel

user25: maybe the real max verstappen in non red-bull attire was the friends we made along the way

user26: i am CELEBRATING but ladies do remember it's still alpha tauri 😭😭😭

user27: please let us have this while we can

user28: it's not plastered with sponsors so we'll take it

user29: idk about you guys but i think this means y/n should be knighted for her services

user30: i actually think prying the red bull merch out of max's hands might be the hardest thing in the world

user31: call me crazy but those jeans look kinda baggy 😳

user32: omg they definitely are

user33: death to the skinny jeans? fuck it first child named after y/n

user34: can we maybe get y/n in charge of max's merch cause the shit he sells should be considered criminal

user35: for real we need babe in the board room asap

user36: fuck it get her in the red bull board room as well

user37: go all the way and get her with the f1 execs

yourusername

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 1,506,339 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: i love him even if all he wears is red bull

view all comments

user39: so ... who made the inchident shirt?

charles_leclerc: and how do i get one?

maxverstappen1: i got it made and considering you DON'T think i'm handsome you can go fuck yourself :)

charles_leclerc: GASP. that is my face you have to make me one

maxverstappen1: boooooo no i don't

charles_leclerc: can i copyright my face? i'm sending you a cease and desist

maxverstappen1: fine. but you will never look as hot as y/n in it

charles_leclerc: so you can call me ugly? @yourusername ???

yourusername: it was a compliment to me so soz

user40: the way she's fashion's IT girl and she still loves him even though his whole wardrobe should be burned

user41: real love

maxverstappen1: i love you. i wear my red bull merch to give you the runway

yourusername: sureeeee ... i love you too xx

maxverstappen1: let me live 😭😭😭

yourusername: the girls are dragging your name babe i need them to know HOW SEXY YOU ARE

maxverstappen1: i don't care how sexy they find me, as long as you love me that's all i need

yourusername: you're SO FUCKING CUTE I LOVE YOU

maxverstappen1: I LOVE YOU TOO

user42: can they chill? some people on here are lonely

maxverstappen1

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 1,033,461 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: my closet looks like this, so her's can look like this :)

view all comments

user43: max verstappen i misunderstood you. i was unfamiliar with your game.

user44: he's the standard now i fear

user45: a man who wears the same three outfits so you can have the whole walk-in for your collection >>

yourusername: thank you babe. you are god's strongest soldier

maxverstappen1: i AM. that room is scary. there's too much that i don't understand. so many shoes, so many straps i can't navigate it

yourusername: that's okay baby. there's your red bull draw and that's all you need

maxverstappen1: no the people don't understand. i went in there once and i swear i ended up in narnia

yourusername: you passed out with the AC on the highest level and jimmy and sassy sat on you. you were not in narnia

maxverstappen1: oh. well...

user46: this is the closet y/n deserves the rest of that house is defo a mojo dojo casa house

user47: fighting all the trophies, helmets and framed race suits with her narnia closet

lilymunhe: may i request a trip to the narnia closet x

yourusername: omg yes! come over next time you and alex are in monaco - the boys can entertain themselves

alexalbon: what if i want a closet tour as well?

maxverstappen1: don't do it alex you'll never find your way back out

alexalbon: (i was going to strategically leave a pair of albon athletics shoes in there)

yourusername: alex i already own a pair i bought them release day!

alexalbon: OMG ... one instagram pic so my sales can go platinum?

maxverstappen1: don't try and pimp my gf out

alexalbon: ???

yourusername: max 😭 and sure alex!

fin.

note: thank you for reading soz for the long waits between posts a girl has been BUSY but i hope you've all enjoyed! happy galentines day or palentines day to all that celebrate and thanks for 4.7k!! xx

[benegesseritofficial]

The effects of face paint on Harrowhark's psyche

I've now cosplayed Gideon Nav 3 times, with my wife along as Harrow every time. Naturally, this has included full face paint for both of us each time and I have some thoughts.

Let me start by asserting that everything Muir writes in TLT about the face paint is accurate. Rubbing off your lips first, smearing into gray where the black and white meet, the way sweat makes it ooze but not run. I can't say if Muir (a known Homestuck) ever cosplayed as a troll, but I'm positive she tested out the practicality of the skull face paint or otherwise has first hand experience with extensive use of grease paint. Also, the way she describes normal people flinching when they see you is spot on.

I've noticed while putting on the make up that once most of my skin is covered, any flesh tones sticking out start to become unsettling. Specifically, the red/pink of the inner mouth and around the eyes jump out upsettingly. Every time I've done skull paint I find myself meticulously trying to patch over these edges of skin, despite knowing that it's inside skin that Shouldn't Have Make Up On It. Once my face is monochrome, I don't want to be able to see a scrap of real human under there. Smiling, or otherwise opening your mouth wide enough to see the pink, looks UNSETTLING. My own skin causes the uncanny valley effect. You see where this is going. In NtN we learn Harrowhark disassociates often enough that Crux isn't surprised or concerned to see "Harrow" insisting she's someone else. Obviously this is due to her schizophrenia, and perhaps trauma besides. But it doesn't account for every aspect of why Harrow's "like that." On her most lucid days Harrow ignores her body to the point of sweating blood and passing out. She goes entire days without eating. She thinks of herself as a skeleton unfortunately covered in flesh. She sleeps in her paint.

All of which is heinous, but that last one has stuck with me. From age 13-18 I barely glanced down while I showered and whatever I saw I basically blocked out. I wore underwear and a bra under my pajamas to sleep every night. I was going through the wrong puberty, "my body was in open rebellion" as I liked to say at the time, and the only way to cope was to bind it down and pretend it wasn't happening. By Gideon's narration in HtN one gets the impression most nuns of the Ninth are putting their paint on after breakfast and taking it off when they get home. It's not even expected the average person wears it every time they leave the house. But Harrow regularly only takes her paint off in order to redo it. I suspect a combination of being the most brainwashed person in her own cult, knowing how she was conceived, and the regular disassociation make it very difficult for Harrow to conceptualize that she actually lives in a body. If she faced that fact head on she'd have to ask why it so often feels someone else is using her body. She'd have to cope with owning this body, being a part of this body, that was bought with the blood of 200 children who should have been her peers and friends. Instead she pretends it's an object on loan from them. And she does it with 10 layers of black petticoats and so much paint she never has to see her own skin.

Which brings me to the final thing I've noticed wearing full face paint. It dehumanizes you to yourself and everyone around you. I couldn't read my own expressions in a mirror. Even people who understood and were delighted with my cosplay were visibly nervous talking to me. You don't look like a person. Studies have shown that faces wearing heavy make up are ranked as harder to read and perceived as less empathetic. It's a particularly insidious trap of patriarchy that many women find self esteem in wearing make up, while that very act makes everyone around them treat them more callously. And, worst of all, if you stop wearing it once you're used to it, your naked face is shocking. You look sick due to your colors being less bold and the normal small flaws of your face appear unbearably ugly. With all this in mind, Harrow has trapped herself in a feedback loop of not being able to witness her own face and becoming more and more disgusted with the flesh and person underneath whenever she has to glance at it.