#but rather i'll have to prepare for the end
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Luck Runs Out
Seong Gi-hun x gn!reader
summary: You've been by Seong Gi-hun's side through all of it, and despite his best efforts, you stuck with him even after his usual demeanor hardened from the traumatic experiences in the games. As he prepares to infiltrate and end the games once and for all, both of your feelings for each other emerge. (~7.6k words)
!warnings: canon-typical violence, implied suicidal throughts/actions, verbal arguments, use of y/n, mega hurt/mega comfort
a/n: i'm actually really happy with this one, guys. no clue what the next fic will be yet. if you have an idea, send me a request, and i'll see what i can do! ily all and hope you enjoy <33
You have always joked with your friend Seong Gi-hun by saying that he is the luckiest man in the world. This was entirely sarcastic most of the time. Misfortune seemed to be woven into his DNA. Nothing ever went his way, and the few times that things worked out for him seemed to be a sign for more hardship to come.
Things changed in his life quite often. Money came and went. Jobs were often short-lived, and the one that did last a long time ended in a deadly strike. He got married and had Ga-yeong, and it seemed like things were going well, and then the divorce happened and he lost custody. He had to move back in with his mom because he couldn't afford both his rent and his gambling habits.
The one constant had been you. You had been close friends with him and Sang-woo growing up, but you hadn't moved away to university like the latter. You stayed local and worked a fairly steady job. You lived comfortably but definitely not as wealthy as the pride of Ssangmun-dong was. (Well, at least not as wealthy as you thought he was.)
Gi-hun definitely took you for granted sometimes. He asked you for money more often than he'd like to admit. You tried to help him when you could, but sometimes you had to give him the hard truth. It annoyed you sometimes that you knew the money you gave him was likely going right to the horse races, but you gave him the benefit of the doubt because you wanted to believe your friend could turn things around.
And it wasn't like he was just using you for your money. He was genuinely a great friend who was trying to make up for his faults. He'd always try to do something for you to metaphorically repay his debt to you. Sometimes, it would be as simple as bringing you some snack or trinket when he stopped by to visit, likely something he stumbled upon rather than an actually planned out gift. Other times, he would insist on doing something for you, like running errands or trying to fix the valve you had been complaining about. Sure, it didn't repay the actual money, but it was the principle of his actions that you found endearing.
You would be lying to yourself to say that your feelings for him were purely platonic. You'd been smitten with him since you were kids. You assumed he just thought of you as a friend, which is a fair assumption seeing as he married someone who wasn't you. You admired his compassion. He would give someone the shirt off his back if he was able. He was selfless and kind and funny. He had some rough edges, but you couldn't fault him for that.
He also recognized you as a constant in his life. When so many other things were changing rapidly, he could rely on you. Even when everything else seemed to be against him, when everyone else seemed to have moved on without him, you were there for him when he needed you.
His feelings for you were a bit more complicated. He always felt very close to you, but that's normal for friends, right? When they were younger, Sang-woo was quick to notice Gi-hun's adoration of you, but he always insisted you were just friends. There were a few times that he did consider testing the waters and ask you, but he always chickened out before he could. Plus, you deserve someone better than him. Someone without his faults. So he started seeing Eun-ji. She was nice, thoughtful, and pretty. But she wasn't you. He pushed any feelings for you into the deep recesses of his mind, and they only presented themselves in the dark of night when he couldn't sleep.
Despite being two idiots in love who didn't realize it, you stayed close through the years. But not close enough to recognize the elephant in the room.
Your feelings for him finally resurfaced shortly after Gi-hun had left for the games, although you hadn't known that was what he was doing. You were worried that he got himself into trouble with his loan sharks, and something happened. You were even more worried that he ran off, never to be seen again.
You learned of his disappearance from his mother calling you. She asked if you had seen him recently and you realized that you hadn't. She requested that you run an errand for her as she wasn't feeling the greatest. You had the free time, so you did. You arrived at their apartment to find her unresponsive. She was alive, thank goodness, but she was in rough shape. You got her to the hospital, using whatever money you had to spare to pay for the ambulance ride.
While she was getting treated, you were pacing in the waiting room, trying to get into contact with Gi-hun. Calls and texts left unanswered. You tried to call as many of Gi-hun's friends as you knew and had contact information for. Jung-bae hadn't heard from him in days. You even tried calling Sang-woo in hopes he would have answers, but that too was unanswered.
At one point, a nurse stepped out into the waiting room. “Are you Ms. Mal-soon's next of kin?” She asked gently.
The question caught you off guard for 2 reasons. Firstly, you were so invested in his mother's wellbeing that you were assumed to be her next of kin while her own son was off doing God knows what. But more importantly, hospitals don't usually inquire about that without something being seriously wrong.
You shook your head. “No, I'm just a friend of her son's.” You said.
“Do you have a way to reach him?” She asked.
You sighed. “Yeah, I've been trying to call him. Do you have something you want me to tell him?” You asked.
She nodded. “Tell him to get here as soon as he can. She's trying to refuse treatment, and I hope he can talk some sense into her.” She said, sounding somewhat exasperated. You gave her a knowing look. Mal-soon was a stubborn woman.
“I'll let him know. Thank you.” You said, giving her a slight bow. She turned and left, so you continued your efforts to call Gi-hun.
It was another 20 minutes before he answered the phone.
“Gi-hun, thank God. What were you doing that you couldn't answer?” You asked.
He sighed. “It's a long story.” He dismissed that line of conversation. There was no way he could explain that to you right now. “What's going on?” He asked.
“Your mom is in the hospital right now. I can explain more later, but you need to get here.” You said.
You heard him curse on the other end of the line. “I'll be there in ten.” He said. before hanging up the phone.
It was more like 20 before he made it to the hospital. You didn't leave until you knew he was there. While he was talking with the doctor, his mom left the building. You got a call from him later that evening.
You didn't let him get started on any small talk. “Where the hell were you?” You asked. You were stern but also concerned.
He sighed. “That's not important right no-”
“Not important? Really?” You interrupted. You took a deep breath to calm yourself down. “You scared the shit out of me, you know that, right?” You weren't angry, just worried.
He knew you were just concerned for him. So his answer was only going to make you more worried. “Listen. Remember when I told you about that business card?” He asked.
“Oh my God, don't tell me you actually went there.” You said.
“I did.” He admitted. He didn't want to explain further. He didn't need to burden you with that information. How do you even explain that to someone?
You could tell from his tone that it hadn't gone well there. He sounded so defeated.
“Y/N, I hate to do this but-”
You scoffed. “Are you serious?”
“I know, I know. But she needs treatment, and we can't afford it right now.” He said. He didn't even know why he was asking you. You didn't deserve to be treated this way.
“Gi-hun.” You started. You tried to keep your voice from breaking. You didn't want to say no. You knew he always felt like a scumbag anytime you had this conversation. You hated to say it, but you stood your ground. “I wish I could help, I really do. But I can't. I already used what I had to spare to pay for the ambulance.” You said.
This was new information to him. “You did?” He sounded in disbelief. How could you care so much for them when he treated you like this?
“Of course I did.” You said softly.
He laughed. “I don't deserve a friend like you, y/n.”
You flinched upon hearing his words. It felt like they pierced through you. You'd always be just a (friend), wouldn't you?
The second he said the words he wished he could take them back. It felt wrong to say for some reason.
The line went quiet for a moment. “I'll see what I can do.” You said softly.
“Thank you.” He said.
You hung up the phone, taking a few deep breaths before going about your evening. Later on, you got a text from him:
Hey. I've decided that I'm gonna go back to play those games. Can you check on my mom while I'm gone? I'll make it up to you, I swear.
You sighed, staring at the words as you tried to assess your feelings about this situation. It was complicated, to say the least. You desperately tried not to feel used. You were just covering for him while he ran off to do something that would probably be more trouble than it's worth. But he was your friend. That's what friends do, right?
You typed back: Yeah, I can stop by when I get a chance. How long will you be gone?
His response was fast. Not sure. It might be a few days.
You had plenty of questions about this. How was he going somewhere to play ddajki for a few days? You didn't get a chance to ask before he started typing again.
He was thinking of how to address the elephant in the room that you had no way of knowing it existed. How do you tell your best friend that you might not come back? How does he tell you he might die in pursuit of the money he desperately needed? If he told you, you would try to talk him out of it. And he knew himself, you would definitely convince him to stay. But if he didn't tell you and he died, you would assume he walked out on you like he does everyone else. The last person in the world who still saw the good in him would see the truth.
He stopped typing. He had to do this. There was no other way.
You furrowed your eyebrows as the tiny message bubble disappeared. You replied: Keep me updated if you can. Good luck with the games :)
He smiled slightly, but it was fleeting.
Thanks, I'm gonna need it.
He really did need it. He felt like nothing had gone how he expected it through the entirety of the games. He picked the hardest shape in dalgona, faced one of the strongest teams in tug of war, and paired with his closest ally in Marbles. Overall, a few hundred people died in his attempt to survive. Most were not by his own hand, but he still felt the overwhelming guilt of every life lost like he was at fault. He made it through all of this, but it never felt like he had a say in any of it. He felt like the universe was stringing him along to see what other hell he could be put through.
You kept to your word. You tried to stop in to see his mother once a day. You made excuses to see her. One day, you made too much food and gave her the leftovers. The next, Sang-woo's mother asked you to deliver something to her. She seemed somewhat suspicious with your intentions, but you could tell deep down that she appreciated your concern. She seemed mostly fine. She was more tired than usual and a bit less lively, but you hadn't thought that her condition was worsening.
At one point, she even asked you, “How come you seem to care about me more than my own son?”
The words tugged on your heart. “Gi-hun cares. I'm sure he's trying his best to be able to pay for your treatment.” You said. You weren't lying. He was trying his best. Unbeknownst to you, he was putting his life on the line for her.
She scoffed, shaking her head. “Then where is he?” She asked. You didn't have an answer for her. “You have too much faith in him. The quicker you see the truth, the better.”
You should have defended him. You wanted to. But you just couldn't. He'd been gone for how many days without a word. Was she right? Were you just too naive? Maybe he really did skip town and leave you behind. You didn't want to believe it, but you couldn't find a different explanation at the moment. You made your excuse to leave as soon as you could.
You tried to cling onto hope as long as you could. It all came to a head one night when you stopped after you had a double shift at work. You knew it was late, but you wanted to stop by since you hadn't been able to all day.
You knocked on the door. No answer.
You knocked again. Nothing.
“Mal-soon?” You called.
You strained to hear inside. You could hear something. Almost sounded like crying.
You tried to open the door. It was open. You decided you had the right away to check on her safety. You felt a pit in your stomach as you swung the door open. You took a few steps in to find Gi-hun on the floor holding his mom. She isn't breathing. He hadn't noticed you.
“Gi-hun?” You asked.
He didn't react. He was distraught. Rightfully so, of course.
You knelt down. “Gi-hun!” You called. You reached out to touch his shoulder, and he flinched away violently from your touch. His eyes looked wild, like he had expected you to hurt him.
Your breath hitched as you yanked your hand away. Your eyes were wide. “Hey, it's me. It's just me.” You said softly.
He looked up at you, and the second he recognized you, he threw his arms around you.
You froze for a moment before wrapping your arms around him, trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach. It wasn't the time for that.
You didn't know how long you sat there with him. You just sat and comforted him. Your fingers carded through his hair. You didn't say anything. How could you? What would you even say? There are no words in this scenario. You shed tears as well. You have been seeing her so often recently. A part of you blamed yourself, but you didn't voice it. Maybe you missed a sign. You should have come here on your break so you could have prevented it.
Eventually, he confided in you about everything that happened. The games, the death, the violence, the money. Telling you about Sang-woo was the hardest part. You couldn't believe it. You didn't even know he was struggling for money. You didn't even get to say goodbye. He was gone. You'd later see the media expose him for various financial crimes, but he was “evading arrest” according to the police.
The next year of your life involved trying to live with the shell of the man who was left. He hardly did much of anything. He moved into your apartment for the time being. He paid your rent in full, but he refused to touch any more of the money. He hardly ate, hardly sleeping. It was hard to watch your best friend succumb to the demons in his mind, but you stayed with him through it all.
Then, one night, he wasn't home when you arrived home after work. It freaked you out beyond belief. Considering his emotional state, you feared the worst. You tried calling him but he didn't answer. You didn't even know who else to call. You were pretty much the only person who knew he was still here. It probably seemed like he skipped town to everyone else.
But when he came back, there was something different about him. Literally and metaphorically. He had gone and got a goofy haircut. It was cut shorter and dyed a candy apple red. But more than that, he seemed to finally have the spark he once had. You could see your friend through the cracks of his once hardened exterior. He was himself again.
God, you missed him so much despite the fact you had been under the same roof for over a year. You missed the way the skin around his eyes creased when he smiled. You missed the sound of his laugh. You missed the joking and lighthearted teasing. You missed the random acts of kindness he would do when he felt he owed you something. You finally had your friend back, and you couldn't be happier.
He had some business to attend to. You weren't entirely sure what it was, but he assured you it was nothing dangerous. And then he decided he was going to go over to the US to be near Ga-yeong.
It was a bittersweet feeling. You knew it was something he really wanted. Of course, he wanted a chance to be in his daughter's life. You obviously wouldn't try to stop him from doing so. He had every right to go.
But a part of you felt betrayed. His family hadn't even tried to contact him once in the past year. Maybe Ga-yeong wanted to and wasn't allowed to, but as far as you were aware, they didn't even bother to check in with him. Even after his mother died.
But you had stayed with him in his darkest hours. You made sure his daily needs were met when he didn't have the energy to sustain himself. You talked him down from trying to end his suffering. You were woken up by the screams he would let out as he had nightmares. You stayed with him through all of it, and now he was leaving.
You made no attempts to stop him, but you felt a piece of your soul die every time he mentioned it.
He could sense there was something bothering you, but he couldn't find a way to start the conversation about it. He knew you were probably upset about him leaving, but he also knew opening up that line of questioning wouldn't be helpful. Because you both knew there was nothing you could do to stop him, and it would likely just end in an argument. Ignoring it felt like the easiest option for both of you. The path of least resistance.
So you said goodbye. You allowed your best friend, your only friend, leave you. He would probably be happier that way.
He cracked a joke as he left, and you laughed weakly. He closed the door behind him. You were trying to hold yourself together. He lingered outside the door for a moment. You knew because you didn't hear his footsteps leaving the hall.
He was second-guessing his decision as he stood. Were you going to stop him? Maybe you would follow him out and beg for him to stay. You would be able to convince him. He'd give in with little resistance just to be with you.
You didn't open the door.
He waited for a minute or so before walking away, looking somewhat dejected.
When you heard his footsteps fade into silence, you broke down.
He was gone.
You were shocked when he arrived back at your apartment 2 hours after his departure time with dried blood in a trail running down the side of his neck.
“What the hell happened to you?” You asked, stepping back to let him into your apartment.
There was a hint of that panic inside him. The panic you saw in full force the night his mother passed away. But there was also a deep-seated anger. You could see it in his eyes.
“I saw the salesman in the airport terminal.” He said without elaboration.
You had been getting a wet paper towel for him to clean off the blood as he said it. You turned around and gave him a confused look. “Am I supposed to know who that is?” You asked.
“The man who recruits for the games.” He said.
Your eyes went wide. You handed him the towel. “Did he say anything to you?”
He shook his head.
“Why did you come back?” You asked.
He sighed. “I can't just sit by and allow the games to continue. If I did, it would be a slap in the face for all 455 of the others who died. I need to find a way to stop them.”
You were still confused. “Okay, but what's with the blood?” You asked. He hadn't explained, and you wanted to make sure he was okay.
He seemed puzzled until he realized what you were talking about. “They had a chip in me. They were tracking me.” He said.
“Holy shit, why did you cut it out yourself?” You asked, a slightly scolding tone in your voice.
He didn't have a satisfying answer for you.
You left the room to grab a first aid kit to help patch him up. You both felt sparks fly whenever your fingers would graze his skin.
When you dabbed the wound with an antiseptic, he instinctively tried to pull away. You moved your free hand to lightly grab his jaw to hold him in place. You could feel his shoulders shake as his breath was caught in his throat. You assumed it was due to the pain, but in reality, the sudden contact flustered him a bit.
You bandaged him up the best you could with the supplies you had on hand. He probably should have gotten a stitch or two, but you managed to stop the bleeding yourself.
“Promise me that next time you will leave the exploratory surgery for the experts.” You said softly. You phrased it jokingly, but you were dead serious. That could have been dangerous for him if he had nicked something.
He laughed. “How about there's just no next time?”
You smiled, but you had a gut feeling that this wouldn't be the last time this would happen. He displayed almost a disregard for his own safety and it scared the hell out of you.
You once again saw your friend change drastically, but this time, you weren't sure if it was for the better or for the worse. He tried to keep you at an arm's length, likely due to the fact he had seen so many people close to him die.
Even more troubling, he dedicated himself to taking down the games at all cost. He bought a motel to conduct his operation from. It would be his war room. He tried doing it alone for a year or two, but he soon realized this was going to take more work than he could do himself (although you helped when you could).
He started working with Mr. Kim and his lackeys, hiring them to patrol the city to find any activity of the games. Suddenly, every subway station in the city had two men watching over it at all hours of the day. He made them document their patrol and controlled everything from his car with a dozen different electronics to monitor.
You felt like he was making his own game in a way. Stringing along people who are desperate for money, tracking their every move, dangling elusive prize money over their heads if they disagreed. You would never tell him that, but you couldn't get the thought to leave your mind.
He did everything he could. Even if it wasn't entirely legal. He had been getting way too many weapons too quickly for it to be above board.
Deep down, you thought this was a fruitless endeavor. The people who ran the games managed to be completely untraceable for years. They had the money and resources to own an island, a small militia, and a massive crematorium. And Gi-hun was just one man obsessed with taking them down, with a few dozen loan sharks and petty criminals doing his bidding just because of the money that got sent their way.
You tried to support him as best as you could. You often brought him meals when you knew he was working especially hard. He often didn't even remember the last time he ate something, so you figured if you were already making food for yourself, you might as well make him a portion as well.
That's what you were doing when you heard the single gunshot. You had been using your key for the motel door when you heard it ring out. You started panicking, suddenly having difficulty with the lock as your hands trembled.
You feared the worst. A single gunshot isn't typical of a confrontation. It implies intent to kill. And you knew there wasn't supposed to be anyone else in the building.
You eventually got your hands to work to remove the chain. You swung the door open, barely remembering to close it.
You called out his name. Heading toward the back room where he usually stayed, you couldn't stop yourself from getting panicked. You didn't even want to go in the room. You didn't want to see it. You didn't want to walk in to see his body, your best friend dead.
Luckily, that isn't what you saw. Gi-hun was sitting at a table, just staring over the body of another man. The man was slumped over onto the table. You could hear the pattering of blood dripping onto the tile floor.
“Gi-hun, what happened?” You asked, stepping closer to him. You tried to keep your gaze focused on him. The sight of the man in front of him was ghastly. You could smell the metallic scent of his blood in the air, and it made you queasy.
He hardly reacted to your presence, only murmuring a soft, “He lost the game.”
(And reader, you too just lost the game 😉)
Your brain was putting together the pieces of the situation, and every piece of the puzzle only fueled the anger and fear within you. “Please don't tell me you were playing Russian Roulette.” You said. There was a desperation behind your words. You were almost begging for it to be true.
He didn't understand your concern. “Why does it matter? I won anyway.” He said. He carried little regard for his own life at this point. He saw this as a win for the cause. He just killed their recruiter, the man who reaches out to the desperate people to take advantage of them. This was a victory. Why didn't you see that?
You stood there in shock at his words. “What do you mean ‘Why does it matter?’ You could have died.” You said strongly.
“I did what I had to do!” He said, raising his voice at you. Your breath caught in your throat. You tried hopelessly to see your best friend in the man who sat before you. The games really changed him, but that didn't mean you didn't care about him.
“Really?” You countered, “You had to put the gun to your head and pull the trigger? Did he force you to?”
He scoffed. “You don't get it.”
You laughed. “I don't get it? Go on, enlighten me then.” Your sarcasm was just a way to disguise your fear and concern.
He rolled his eyes. “That's how things work with them. The game has to be-”
“Fuck the games!” You cried out. He seemed to sober up a bit at your outburst. You took a shaky breath, trying to calm yourself down. You didn't mean to yell at him. You were just so scared.
“If you are trying to take them down, why do you care about the rules? You could have just shot that man and been done with it.” You said, trying to reason with him.
He didn't say anything in response to your question. He wasn't going to be convinced of anything you said, and he knew he wouldn't be able to explain his thought process. It wasn't worth the argument. He had to follow the rules because that's how things work. He needed an opening to get back into contact with them, and while the game of Russian Roulette killed his only lead, it was the first lead he had in years. He was close.
“I'm sorry for yelling at you.” He said sheepishly.
You sighed. “Me too.” You said softly. You paused for a moment. “Just don't be so reckless, okay? Plus, hearing a single gunshot while you were alone was terrifying.” You said with a light chuckle.
You saw the look of realization on his face when he finally understood why you were so freaked out. “Oh, you thought I-” He started.
You nodded. “Yeah.” You cut him off.
There was an awkward silence before Gi-hun spoke up. “So what did you bring me?” He asked.
His nonchalance about sitting across from a dead man was concerning to you, but unfortunately, it made sense to you since he was probably desensitized after his time in the games. When you've seen enough doom and gloom as he had, you have to be able to laugh, or you'll drive yourself to madness
“Your favorite.” You said, setting the bag holding the food onto the reception desk. “More importantly though, what are you going to do with…” You trailed off, gesturing to the body, “him.”
He sighed. “I haven't the slightest idea.”
You never did find out how he dealt with that situation. You had a busy few day stretch at work, so you hardly had time to stop by the motel. October had always been a busy time at your workplace, but you had managed to get the holiday off. You found yourself at the motel once again. Gi-hun had mentioned that there was going to be their next step on Halloween, and while you were hesitant to get involved, he convinced you to sit in on the meeting. But you were convinced it was just so you could make something for the men to eat, since he always said that your food was “simply the best.”
You sat in the back of the room, just observing the surroundings. You really only recognized one other person, Choi Woo-seok. You frequently used the subway station that he was posted in with Mr. Kim. Your conversations had never gotten much farther than small talk, but even if they had, he seemed to have changed so much after the death of his boss. He was clearly committed to the cause now, with or without the money.
There were also some mercenaries Gi-hun had hired. Something that you doubted was legal but never mentioned. And there was another man as well. You hadn't seen him before today at all, but he seemed to be someone who Gi-hun trusted, seeing as he was so close to the investigation.
You were really only half paying attention, idly fidgeting with the bracelet you were wearing. You knew that you weren't going to be involved in the actual operation itself, so you didn't have that much of a need to listen. But when you did tune in, you felt like you got punched in the face.
“So what is your plan when you meet with the man in charge?” One of the mercenaries asked.
Gi-hun answered, “I'm going to ask to go back into the games.”
Your head shot up to look at him. You wished you misheard him, but you knew you didn't. He didn't look at you, almost like he was ashamed that you heard it. But he knew what he was doing. He invited you intentionally so you knew what was going on, but he was hoping to leave as soon as they were done with the meeting. As much as it made him feel like a deadbeat, he knew he couldn't bear to face you after you learned of the plan.
Unfortunately for him, you were stubborn as a mule.
While they were getting things ready to leave, you made your way over to him. “May I have a word with you?” You asked. Your voice was soft, but your tone was less like a question and more like an order.
He unwillingly followed you out into the hallway, shutting the door behind you both.
“What the fuck are you thinking?” You asked the second the door shut.
He rolled his eyes slightly. “How else will I get to the island? We can't even find it. If I go in as a player, it'll be easy.” He said.
You scoffed. “Yeah and what happens when the games start?”
“I'll have the tracker so the guys can find me. Plus, I've played the games before, so I'll know how to make it through them this time.” He said.
“What makes you think they'll follow their own rules?” You asked.
He took a deep breath, trying to keep his cool. “The rules are of high importance to them. They wouldn't break them, trust me.” He said.
“That was before you were hell bent on taking down the regime. They could just kill you. I don't know why you aren't getting that.” You said. Your voice was starting to waver slightly as your emotions rose. You couldn't even begin to identify the feelings swirling around in your brain.
He ran a hand through his hair. “Then that's a risk I'm willing to take.”
“Why?!” You asked loudly. He looked like a deer in headlights. “Is this really that important to you that you'll throw your life away for it?” You asked.
“How many lives were thrown away because of the games? Something needs to change.” He said. You could hear the determination in his voice, but to you, it sounded like blind faith.
“I understand that, but is it really worth dying for? Not seeing your daughter?” You asked. The words ‘not seeing me’ were left unsaid.
You seem to have struck a nerve, but he didn't respond with anger. “I'm the only person who has a decent shot in pulling it off. I know what I'm doing.” He sighed.
You fight off the tears forming in your eyes. “What happens when your luck runs out? You're staking your life on blind faith.” you asked quietly. You met his eyes to see that his were glassy as well. You wrapped your arms around your torso, hoping to soothe yourself to an extent.
After a moment of silence, you continued speaking. “I'm just so fucking scared, Gi-hun. I can't lose you too, I can't.” You said, voice becoming more frantic. The second a tear rolled down your cheek his arms were around you, engulfing you into his embrace.
You cried into his chest as he rubbed your back so gently. He didn't know what to say to comfort you because the only thing that would calm your fears would be him deciding not to go, and you both knew that wasn't going to happen.
You felt him take a deep breath, his shoulders shaking slightly. He was crying at this point, too. He felt so bad for you. He knew he was causing you pain and distress, but he knew that he needed to do it. Why did he have to hurt everyone he loved? You were the one person he had left in his life, and he was walking out on you again. You understood his reason, but it still hurt you.
After a few moments, Gi-hun spoke. “I love you.” He said softly. It was his first time saying it, but it was a fact he had known for years. He had always been too afraid to say it. He ended up pushing everyone he loved away, and he didn't want to lose you, too. But leaving it unsaid and keeping you at an arm's length was doing the same. He realized that now, and since he was walking into danger again, he wasn't going to make the mistake of not letting you know. You had to know. He hoped his show of devotion could give you hope that he would do anything necessary to make it home to you.
You didn't pull back to look at him. You just hugged him tighter. “I love you too. I always have.” You replied. Those words had been caged by your fear of ruining your friendship, but now they were let free. It felt like a weight off your chest.
“I promise, I'm going to make it out of there, okay?” He said. He meant it wholeheartedly, but you both knew that the promise could very well become empty.
You pulled away from his embrace. “You better. If you don't, I'll kill you myself.” You said with a slight smile across your face. He laughed at your contradiction.
You just looked up at him, contemplating leaning in to kiss him, but the door to the hall swung open. You both turned to look at the noise, and Gi-hun cleared his throat awkwardly. Woo-seok stood in the doorway. “We should really get going.” He said.
You both met each other's eyes again. “Good luck.” You said.
He gave you a slight bow of his head before leaving. You tried to push down the fact that this might be the last time you saw him. Repressing it seemed to be the easiest way to continue functioning.
You had stayed in the motel until the rest of them returned, sans Gi-hun. You tried to ignore the pit in your stomach that grew as you realized there was no going back.
You exchanged phone numbers with Woo-seok and the other man you didn't know until then, Hwang Jun-ho. You asked them to send you updates when they could.
For the next few days, you tried to keep yourself as busy as you could. If you were working, your mind couldn't wander. You couldn't think about the fact your best friend might never come home. The man you loved might be gone forever. There's nothing you can do anymore.
This need to be busy only intensified after Jun-ho had told you that they found the tracking chip in the bait of a fisherman. The gamemakers ruined the one way they definitely would be able to bring Gi-hun home. There was no telling where he was anymore, although the men went with the boat captain to search the sea regardless.
You worked as many shifts at work as you could. You were only home long enough to pass out for a few hours before you had to get up to do it again.
That was until you passed out at work. Your boss wanted to take you to the hospital to be checked out, but you refused. You knew it was probably because you were dehydrated and not eating regularly. Your boss gave you a few days off to rest, and there was no convincing them otherwise.
Being at your apartment was basically torture. You could only do so much to distract yourself there. Plus, you found little reminders of Gi-hun's presence (or lack thereof) in your home. And being at the motel was worse. It, too, was empty for most of the time. There were two mercenaries stationed there, just in case something would happen. They had plenty of resources needed for the cause there, so Gi-hun wanted to protect it. Plus, the two men left behind weren't sociable at all.
So you stayed home. Most of your time was spent on the couch, sitting idly while reruns of some TV show you'd never seen before played in the background of your anxiety-ridden thoughts. Sometimes, when you needed to be actively doing something, you kept your apartment spotless in an attempt to keep yourself busy.
You didn't know how long they should expect him to be gone for. You knew that back during his first games, he had been gone for maybe 5 days after he told you he was going back to the games.
As it neared two weeks of waiting, you started to accept that he was probably dead. You weren't being given updates anymore, probably because there weren't any to give. There was no way to get leads when every plan had failed so far.
You were once again zoned out on the couch. It was nearing the time most people would eat dinner, but you didn't feel like eating right now. It was hard to eat when the pit in your stomach felt like it was swallowing you whole. You were sitting on the couch, unfocused gaze watching the TV screen while your mind was elsewhere.
Until you heard a knock at the door. You heard the noise, but you hadn't realized what it actually was. Maybe it was in someone else's apartment. Maybe you were just hearing things.
The knock rang out once more. You recognized it was at your door, but you were trying to get yourself the motivation to go see who it was. When it happened a third time, you finally got up. You ought to give them a piece of your mind for disturbing you. You weren't expecting anyone. It was probably a traveling salesman or some American missionary or something.
You twisted the handle. “What do you wa-” You started to ask as you opened the door, but your words got caught in your throat at the sight.
It's him. It's really him.
Your arms were around him within milliseconds, pulling him into a hug a bit more roughly than he was expecting.
He chuckled softly. “Easy there.” He said jokingly. He slowly helped to move you back a step so he could shut the door behind you both before he embraced you once again.
You were crying the second you laid your eyes on him. Happy tears this time. He's back. He's really back. Your fingers clenched the fabric of his shirt, shoulders shaking with your sobs.
He'd be lying if he claimed he hadn't shed a few tears. He was exhausted, but he was just so relieved to be back. To be here with you. To have you in his arms again.
He stood there in your embrace, comforting you with infinite patience. He rubbed your back gently. He occasionally murmured something to remind you he was here. He's not going anywhere. He loves you so much, you know that, right?
You stopped crying, instead turning your head so your ear was against his chest. You listened to his heartbeat like it was a prayer. He's alive. He's alive and back home with you, and listening to the steady rhythm helped you realize that.
Even after you calmed down, neither of you wanted to let go of the other. You both had feared you wouldn't get to do this again, so you wanted to savor the moment for as long as you could.
You were the first to pull away. You wanted to ask him about what happened. But there was something else that Gi-hun had feared he would never get to do.
Before you even had a chance to speak, his lips crashed into yours. You were in shock for a moment, but it didn't take long for your brain to catch up and kiss him back. It was full of desperation and longing and love, and it felt incredible. You reached up and wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers idly toying with hair.
Eventually, you both pulled away for air. You laughed breathlessly, feeling your cheeks heat up.
“You have no idea how much I wanted to do that.” He said quietly, only making the blush on your face more obvious.
You cleared your throat. You tried to stutter out an agreement, but you couldn't form the words. Instead, you nodded vigorously with a soft “Y-yeah.”
He laughed at your flustered demeanor. Knowing he was responsible for that made him stirred butterflies in his stomach.
You interrupted his laughter with another kiss. You smiled into it, slowly trailing your hands from his neck to his chest. You felt his breath hitch at the movement. This kiss was softer and sweeter.
When you pulled away, you looked up at him. “You're probably starving. Go get yourself cleaned up, I'll start working on making something to eat.” You said.
“You're the best.” He said, a smile creeping onto his face.
You smirked. “I know.” He rolled his eyes slightly, pressing a kiss to your forehead before heading off down the hallway.
You know, you should have assumed there was a larger depth to your relationship once he had spare clothes in your apartment.
After he walked away, you couldn't wipe the stupid smile off your face. You were just happy. For the first time in a long time, you were happy. Happy he was safe, obviously, but also relieved that your previously unrequited love wasn't really unrequited. Having it out in the open was freeing, exhilarating even.
You started working on preparing a meal. His favorite, of course. As the food started cooking, you suddenly realized how hungry you actually were. The apartment was quiet, except for the running water, and a sound that you swore was Gi-hun humming in the shower.
After a while, he must have left the hallway without you seeing him. He wrapped his arms around you from behind, the sudden contact making you jump.
“Fuck you.” You said with no malice.
He chuckled, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “How much longer do you think?” He asked.
You sighed in mock annoyance. “It would probably go faster if I didn't have you clinging onto me like a koala.” You said.
He didn't let go, instead burying his head into the crook of your neck. He was mentally scolding himself for not having the guts to accept his feelings until now. He also regretted every time he took you for granted. Every time he gambled the money that you were able to spare. Every time he kept you at arms length in order to save himself the pain of losing you like he had everyone else.
Ultimately, all of those decisions led him to this moment. Fate, luck, destiny, call it whatever you want. All of it led to this. And this was fucking amazing. While holding you in his arms, he started to believe he really was the luckiest man in the world.
#nick writes stuff#squid game x reader#squid game fanfic#squid game x you#gi hun x reader#seong gi hun x reader#gi hun x you
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reached a point of depression and defeat where I think I've given up until I know for sure that my way of life isn't doomed, what's the point of anything
#there may be no upcoming year to prepare for#but rather i'll have to prepare for the end#i'm terrified of Friday#and what Friday will bring#i can't go through this hell again i'm not strong enough to do this#it's going to be so much worse if it's true#when it was my mom we had family and help#now it's my dad and it means i'll lose everything and there will be no one here to help#ny says
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Get Souped!
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#jiang yanli#I'm back!#She would never say 'get souped idiot' but I like to imagine JC and WWX would say it to each other if the other got sick and needed soup#JYL would never throw soup without knowing full well you would be able to catch it#She would rather fall face first than drop a bowl of soup after tripping.#She’s been hard at work preparing this soup! And all of you get to have some B*) Thanks for all the support while I was on break!#‘was your break relaxing op?’ unfortunately it was like being kicked down several flights of stairs. Didn't draw much sadly#Though I did end up writing a little mdzs fic! I haven’t written anything in a long while but it was fun. Maybe I'll post it....maybe...#regardless of all this rambling; thank you for all the kind messages. ill try and reply soon!#i have a few more fun doodles before I'm ready to crack into season 2!#Enjoy the soup in the mean time!#(PS: I know that's not the right hand shape for the meme redraw but augh...the OG hand angle was...way too hard to draw).#edit: retagged as better drawn mdzs. I put a lot into this one
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mixed feelings because on one hand damn the mad lads did it on the other hand this is barely gonna do shit in the grand scheme of things with how slowly resin regenerates
#like if you log into genshin twice a day which i do your resin will never cap bc it already doesn't. so like you won't even notice?#and its only marginally better if you log in once a day. i think it'll take ~26.6 hours for 200 resin to regenerate#if you log in less than that then 40 basically gives you an extra run or two which is always better than none so its a small win regardless#high key i'll actually be annoyed though if they're only doing this to prepare for raising the character lvl to 100#and this is the ONLY thing they do for it. if the lvl 100 leak ends up not being true though then okay fine yay whatever#but in general what i rather have is them either increase drops/resin regeneration rate or lower how much certain things cost#if there's one thing that pisses me off about the resin system it's that world bosses cost 40 resin for max 3 drops#like i honestly don't give a fuck about anything else LOL#oh also talent books i hate farming those#0.txt
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feeling kinda lightheaded but the world is okay I have only a few simple Night Chores ahead of me and, most importantly, I have so many leftovers in my fridge that it's almost stressful (👍)
#like I'll have to make Decisions about what to eat tomorrow#rather than be like these are the 3 meals i can have because these are the 3 foods i have prepared#i have. let's see#2 servings of roasted veggies left#probably 2 servings of cucumber salad#2 big mason jars of pasta (4 servings if i eat them with the veggies on the side...so many 3 total since i have 3 veggies?)#4 big mason jars of miso soup (4-5 servings)#OH and i made tempeh and onions so like 4 quesadillas' worth#...AND the matcha bread rolls i just baked. FUCK I HAVE SO MUCH FOOD#ah i made a numbers typo earlier in my pasta tag but im not redoing that all#suffice to say i am- WAIT FUCK i left half a block of cheese and some trail mix at work so i could have that for tomorrow#fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck how did i end up with so much food#obviously a very 😳 problem to have but also i hope none of it goes bad lol#the veggies/pasta are the oldest so i gotta make sure to finish those off first...#everything else is from the past couple days (minus the cheese/trail mix but that'll keep)#after that the cucumber salad will probably degrade the quickest#ok yeah i should be fine as long as i take care of those things quickly
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how do i say wyjebałem się na ostatniej prostej in english
#google says itd be something like i fuck up on the final stretch but it doesn't exactly convey the same emotions idk#anyway!#had a wonderful streak with 1. passing the most infamous course in the entirely of the civil engineering studies (the one about concrete)#and 2. ended up high enough on the ranking list to get the scholarship#and just now i remerkably fucked up the test from differential equations#the thing was online and i could use whatever i wanted so i prepared all the notes and shit and was rather optimistic#but i forgot that i have zero gacha luck#and obviously out of 3 problems to solve i got two that i had no clue how to do nor did any of the people from the study group ever shared a#solution to equations like that#so yeah 👍#well whatever i just need to redeem myself in the next test and i think i'll manage to pass the course#and if my nonexistent gacha luck strikes in the test no2 as well there's always kolokwium poprawkowe at the end of the semester<3#gosh in so tired i need a nap#and then I'll need to wake up to do the report for hydrology labs man i despise that course with burning passion#if anyone's considering studying civil engineering it's a devil talking don't go that way
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REALEASE THE DORM EXPLORATION VIDEO FOR P3RE ATLUS! LET ME DOWN ONE MORE TIME!😤😤😤😤
#silly talks#me: *counting the number of doors on each floor cause i am not well*#I'll start posting again soon (outside my queue)#in the middle of getting used to a new routine TT0TT (aka waking up at 5 am ;w;)#(it's hell cause i go to bed at like midnight and i can't fall asleep right away)#and apparently my 2nd/part time job is working on a skeleton crew so.....gonna have to balance that in my new routine too TT0TT#i don't think i'll be mentally prepared when I see the doors are aligned like P3P rather than vanilla/fes#imma bsod if that happens i wont be able to process anythign akdsjlsjfa#dont give me hope like that no no no~! don't give me hope like that no no no~!#lol what if Atlus states that there's a special basement we can't get into too? haha that'd be so crazy it'd be very Met-....a ver meta#haha what if there's a rumor that the basement only opens at the end of march that'd be crazy right?#(the slow descent of Silly's madness frontstage for the world to see ajklfdjsaf)#(this isn't me holding out for hope.....I'm just listing some things atlus can do to break me TT0TT)
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post. Post-posting clarity where you're like "wtf was I talking about". But also post-posting confusion where you're also like "wtf was I talking about" but it's less about your mental state While Posting and more about "okay. I've written many words. I remember. Approximately 20% of them. What the fuck are the rest of these?"
#I mostly get the latter bc I'm like ''i wrote so much wtf was I talking abouut'' NOT with a judgmental tone like#''oh this makes no sense this is nothing''#But rather it's me going.#''what did I just write?'' and the answer being ''i don't know. I'm scared''#Im wondering if it's an autism/adhd thing if ''i tend to get really fixated on something and when that thing is complex that it becomes#Really difficult or me to tell what I've typed out versus what I've been ruminating on- which can lead to me making similar posts/points#Because I'm trying to make sure I did Actually Write My Thoughts Down So I Dont Forget'' and is also something that happens in conversation#Because sometimes I script interactions in my head to the point I can't tell what's an Actual Memory Of An Interaction versus#My Prediction/Preparation For An Interaction which. Is not fun and feels bad.#OR if it's more of a memory issue/maybe brain fog thing where my brain straight up Doesn't Form The Memory Properly or doesn't let me#Fucking. What's the word. Idk maybe I have some kinda fuckin cognitive dysfunction that makes it really hard to think through what I say#So I just try to power through because otherwise I'll get stuck and forget. Maybe it's both?#Anyway w the cognitive dysfunction/brain fog thing I've been kinda wondering if I have like. Idk some form of trauma to my brain because#Like. It's not uh. Obviously externally noticable I guess but like. When I started noticing my issues it like. Maybe that could be a reason#Ofc it may be my Other Disorders but I tend to fixate on Possible Diagnosed For Things. And while I don't have any concrete like#''that was definitely a TBI'' things there are some things where it's like. ''hm. That might be significant''#ANYWAYS speaking of memory I am garbage at self reporting symptoms bc gun to my head I could not tell you how often I experience them#It's just. Well either I'm currently experiencing them. have a limited number of Specific Memories. Or have 0 fucking clue if it has ever#Happened to me. Because my memory is just really fucking helpful. End post
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lovesick — ryomen sukuna.
"I'm serious about my girl." Sukuna retorted back, snickering at the white haired vice-captain. "I'm serious, if she calls me anything else, I'll be nothing. Just how it is." "I see, I see." Before Sukuna could fire back something at him, Gojo’s attention shifted to something—or someone—over Sukuna’s shoulder. Gojo started pointing at the doorway. “Oh, and here she is now, captain.” he said, smirking like a man who’d just lit a match in a fireworks factory. "Your beloved girlfriend!"
Genre: Alternate Universe — College! AU;
Warning/s: Short Fic, General Rating, AFAB! Reader, Use of She/Her, Use of Female Centered Identification, Pet Names (Babe, My Love, Etc), Romance, Fluff, Humour, Love, Comfort/No Hurt, Established Relationship, Lovers, Dating, Feeling, Light-Hearted, Slice of Life, Idiots In Love, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Healthy Relationship, Friendships, Profanity, Swearing, Teasing, Volleyball, Volleyball Captain! Sukuna, Boyfriend! Sukuna, Girlfriend! Reader;
Words: 3.8k words.
Note: i wanted to see ryomen sukuna be someone that is pathetically in love with his lover, because i needed a break from my pattern of being angsty with sukuna, so here you go. that being said, i'm sorry this is shorter than what i usually write. i'm prepping a lot of things because im going to be back in uni soon and i need to make sure i fix the queue!!! that being said, i'll post tomorrow about the valentines special!!! thank you for reading!!! i love you all <3
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IF THERE WAS ONE THING ABOUT HIM, ITS THE FACT THAT HE IS A STRONG PERSONALLY. He knew that too well, everyone knew that just as much. Ryomen Sukuna was just easily the most incredible force to be reckoned with. Whether that be meeting him personally or whether that be hearing baout him in passing.
Everyone would say the same thing about him — it's hard to find out what to say about him without going on a tangent for hours on end. And that was just the easiest thing to do, rather than finding anything definite to say.
The one and only captain of the top ranking college varsity volleyball team in all of Japan, Ryomen Sukuna dominated the court like it was his personal kingdom with that iron fist. He has such a stellar record of existence, that was to be sure, wearing the crown.
All his opponents could only quiver at the sight of his one of a kind powerful line spike. All the teammates he'd have since junior high could only respect and fear him with almost military reverence, like he was their general.
Of course, all his coaches over the years swore he could crush concrete if he so much as clenched his fists mid-serve. That perhaps, it would be good to gentle parent him as much as possible, knowing he's already quite the fire cracker of a man.
Or that he could end up cussing out everyone at the court as easily as one does breathing. That's of course, why the coaches would find him to be the "Cursed King." It was an intimidating title that had followed him since junior high school.
One moment he's someone that you curse because you lost a game because of him, another time you curse him because your team got fined because he ended up causing a fight. And with a name like that, Sukuna relished the air of invincibility it gave him.
Everyone had a box for Sukuna to fit in, of course. That continued over time, to be something that people couldn't avoid making for him and only him. That was just how it was, when you have someone as enigmatic as him.
To some of his teammates, he was "Cap"—the iron-willed leader who demanded nothing less than perfection. The one that would force them to run miles on end until they fell from exhaustion. The one who forced them to do hundreds of spikes until it took out the bottles he prepared on the other side of the court.
The rival schools referred to him as "Demon Spike" but this was mostly because he left a trail of destruction (and bruises) every time he stepped onto the court. One moment that's from the fact that his serves were just dangerously low and one moment it's because he heard someone bad mouth his underclassman.
Of course, even his many teachers and now his college professors had their own opinions for him one at a time over the many years. One of the most known nicknames for him by the professors in the college halls is “The GPA Crusher”.
To the younger underclassmen, who unfortunately still looked at him with bright eyes under those filtered glasses on — he was a mix of "Sensei of True Discipline" and "Volleyball God".
He was to them, a figure of unadulterated awe and of course, that desire to hope, that perhaps they would end up like him too. After all, he was always a star in the court. But in a different way, in the good way. That's how they think.
But this was because Ryomen Sukuna spent more time perfecting his jump serves against his opponent than ever having effort in writing essays for submission. Ironically, even though he was quite a smart young man. The fact that he shows up to exams more than classes and still passes with flying colors is quite certain proof.
But to you, his beloved girlfriend, Ryomen Sukuna was none of these things. He didn’t live in a box and he never wished to do so, no. Instead, he lived eternally, forever, even in the next life — in your heart.
Though he’d never say something that cheesy out loud. That part is not easy for him, but you didn't mind that. You liked to keep him to yourself most of the time. And he was satisfied with that.
The most you could hear from him about you is in passing. Sometimes practice would finish and he, still full of sweat, would immediately pack his things into his gym bag, almost suddenly becoming ignorant of everything else.
His underclassman would invite him to eat something like yakuniku and he would say with a straight face — "I can't. My girfriend wants to cook some authentic pasta for me at her place. Bye."
He would leave almost instantly, much to the shock of the underclassman each year. But most of his teammates, who were also somehow his friends, were not surprised. He and you were dating early on during junior high school. And he would be the same way.
When he wasn't looking, people could only surmise what he looked like when he towered over your giddy figure at every practice, at every game — 'Ah, I see. He's lovesick. And in a good way.'
To Sukuna, you were perhaps the only thing that could triumph against volleyball. You were his number one. And he knew that you thought of him the same way too. And everyone knew that too.
That's why you only ever called him one thing: my love. And to Sukuna, that title was worth more than any championship trophy. But of course, no one knew that. It's not like you don't call him that in public. It's just that no one asks, what that nickname is.
The look in your eyes was more than enough when he makes a wink for you at each serve was enough, the smile on your lips when he comes to greet you at the bleachers was more than enough. No one needed to hear the nickname to know that there was something loving between the two of you.
He knew this truth as well as he knew how to spike a ball with a precise edge. He knew this as much as he knew what would get him a championship. But of course, that doesn't stop curiosity at times. At times he humors them, at times he does not. It was a hit and miss.
That’s why, during a post-practice break, when the Vice Captain of the Volleyball team, Gojo Satoru, decided to start stirring the pot as usual with his antics. And somehow, today, Ryomen Sukuna didn’t mind it. There was something in the air. They could feel it.
(He won't tell anyone about this, but he has very happy about something.
He was after all happy that his girlfriend was staying at his dorm tonight to spoon on his bed after your finals kept you apart for nearly two weeks —
But no one needs to know that.
Otherwise, they'd use it against him.
And he can't have that right now.
It will spoil these bastards and make them too relaxed before championships again.)
Gojo leaned against the bleachers with that signature cocky grin. “Hey, Sukuna.” he drawled, as he watched the captain drink from his water bottle. "You’ve got about a million nicknames floating around. But what are you to your girlfriend?”
Ryomen Sukuna didn’t miss a beat.
He put down his water bottle swiftly.
He glared at Gojo Satoru with a passion.
He tilted his head back, eyes half-lidded with that calm arrogance he wore so well. “Huh? My girl can only call me my love or nothing.” he said, his voice practically dripping with pride.
"Hehhhhh, really?"
“If she calls me anything else, I’ll disappear and leave no trace. Hell, I'll jump off a cliff and make sure I drown into the ocean and never be seen again."
Gojo barked out a laugh, his hands clapping together as if Sukuna had just told the world’s funniest joke. “Wow. Our captain sure is seriously whipped. Actually, that probably doesn’t even begin to cover it.”
"I'm serious about my girl." Sukuna retorted back, snickering at the white haired vice-captain. "I'm serious, if she calls me anything else, I'll be nothing. Just how it is."
"I see, I see."
Before Sukuna could fire back something at him, Gojo’s attention shifted to something—or someone—over Sukuna’s shoulder. Gojo started pointing at the doorway.
“Oh, and here she is now, captain.” he said, smirking like a man who’d just lit a match in a fireworks factory. "Your beloved girlfriend!"
Ryomen Sukuna turned slowly, his earlier bravado evaporating the second he saw you standing at the gym door. Your arms were crossed, your eyes sharp, and your posture practically screamed, You’re in trouble.
“Sukuna.” you called out, your tone cutting through the gym like a whistle signaling the end of a game.
His entire body could only stiffen. He didn’t just flinch—he practically short-circuited. The other players and members, the entire volleyball staff, sensing the shift in the air, immediately stopped what they were doing to watch the drama unfold. All of their eyes were glued on this moment, more than anything.
“Ryomen Sukuna!” you said again, each syllable landing like the sound of a referee’s whistle before a penalty.
Sukuna’s brain scrambled for an escape route. “What the fuck?” he muttered under his breath, frozen in place.
“Ryomen Sukuna, come here.”
“No.” His voice cracked as he stood up so fast he nearly knocked over a water bottle.
His scarlet eyes were shaking as much as his body was. No one has ever seen this before. No one had ever seen the panic on his face before. Not even in a hard game to win. This was the very first time their formidable captain looked so defeated and horrified.
“No, no, my name is my love! It’s my love! What did I do?” he asked, practically sprinting toward you like a volleyball rolling out of bounds.
Gojo Satoru, thoroughly entertained, cackled so hard he nearly fell off the bleachers. “Man, even the Cursed King has a leash!” he wheezed, clutching his stomach. "This is how he is with her. That's interesting, isn't it?"
"He doesn't look like who he actually is in the moment, huh." Nanami Kento whispered under his breath, wiping the sweat with the towel over his shoulder. "We should have used this card when he refused to stop practice during last year's finals."
"Well now we can." Geto Suguru snickers, lounging on the floor as he watched the scene with mirth in his purple gaze. "Does anyone have objections?"
"None here!" The chorus of seniors and juniors retorted back at him.
"Someone save her phone number for speed dial!" Gojo said, pointing to one of the managers who nodded.
By the time Ryomen Sukuna reached you, he was a completely different man. The fearsome captain who dominated courts and crushed spirits was reduced to a panicked, apologetic mess. You continued to stand before him, rolling your eyes, his towering figure in tatters at what you called him.
“I swear I didn’t do anything! There's no girls or even guys! There isn't anything else. You can check my phone. Or you can ask everyone here too!"
"Sukuna—"
"Whatever it was, I’ll do everything fix it and make it right, babe—just don’t call me that again. Please!” he begged, his voice low enough that only you could hear the desperation in it.
"Calm down." You raised an eyebrow, letting him stew for a moment before finally speaking. “You forgot to text me that practice was running late. And I was concerned. I thought we were going to meet up at the cafe nearby so we can go to your dorm together!”
Sukuna blinked. “That’s it?”
“That’s it.” you said, though your tone suggested you might have a few more grievances stored up for later. "Well, I'm also hungry."
Sukuna exhaled so dramatically it was a wonder he didn’t collapse on the spot. “I’ll never forget again, okay?” he promised, his voice full of sincerity. “Babe, I’ll set an alarm—no, two alarms—just for you. And don't worry, we're gonna eat. Actually, take my card and buy something in the cafe while you wait for me.”
As he continued to rattle off promises, you couldn’t help but smile at him. Cursed King or not, to you, Sukuna was just your dorky loving boyfriend, forever trying to live up to his title of my love in your life. And if the rest of the gym wanted to watch him grovel? Well, that was just an added bonus. By the gods, you love him.
"I love you, my love." You whispered to him, taking his hand into yours. "I'm sorry I scared you like that."
"No, no, that was my fault." He grumbled under his breathe, taking a moment to settle in the warmth of your eyes, reserved just for him. "I should have noticed the time. I will never forget about it again, I promise."
"Hm, that's all that matters, my love."
"I'll make us dessert tonight as an apology." He says, moving closer to kiss your temple.
"That would be good, my love."
As Sukuna continued his frantic apologies, the rest of the gym erupted into poorly stifled snickers. Gojo Satoru, of course, was the loudest, slapping his knee like he’d just witnessed the greatest comedy set of the century.
“My love, huh? Big, bad Cursed King reduced to a golden retriever!” he teased, practically howling. “Hey, did you hear that, boys? If she calls him Ryomen Sukuna one more time, he might just cry.”
“Should we start calling him my love too, senpai? Y’know, in solidarity?” chimed Underclassman Itadori Yuuji, grinning as he leaned on his volleyball. The suggestion earned a chorus of laughs and a few enthusiastic nods.
“Yeah, Cap! Don’t worry, my love, we’ve got your back!” Underclassman Fushiguro Megumi deadpanned from the sidelines, his usual stoic face cracking into a rare smirk.
One of the first year underclassman, emboldened by the chaos, cupped his hands around his mouth and called out, “We love you, my love! You’re our MVP for all seasons! With so much love, my love!”
Sukuna whipped his head around, his scarlet glare promising death, destruction, and possibly laps for everyone involved. “If anyone other than my girlfriend calls me that, I swear.” he growled, “I will personally make sure you regret it.”
“Sure, my love!” Gojo crowed, leaning back against the bleachers with a devilish grin. “Ooooh, should we get it printed on the back of your jersey? Cursed King on the front, My Love on the back—perfect balance, don’t you think?"
Geto laughs loudly. "You know what, I think we can make this happen. Coach! We got the budget for that, right?"
“Or maybe embroider it on the team banner!” someone else chimed in, sending the gym into another fit of laughter.
You couldn’t hold back anymore, doubling over as Sukuna turned a deeper shade of red than the volleyballs on the court. His sharp retorts and death glares only fueled the chaos, the once-commanding presence of the Cursed King now utterly eclipsed by the sheer hilarity of the moment.
Finally, Sukuna turned back to you, his expression a mix of betrayal and exasperation. “You’re supposed to defend me, babe.” he muttered, his voice low but desperate.
You reached up to pat his cheek, your grin as sweet as honey. “Oh, my love, I am defending you. I’m making sure they never forget how cute you are to me."
For the rest of practice, you sat down and watched everything unfold before you as you ate your croissant and drank your coffee from the cafe which you bought using your boyfriend's card, of course.
For a while, the gym echoed with the sound of volleyballs, laughter, and the occasional teasing chorus of “My love!” — especially when Sukuna found himself scoring a point, which of course led to him missing the next hit.
Every time someone said it later on, Ryomen Sukuna looked seconds away from snapping a net in half, but deep down, though he’d never admit it, he wouldn’t have traded his nickname or the teasing for anything in the world. Not when you were there, cheering it for him with that adorable voice of yours, loving him completely.
Maybe it wasn't so bad to be lovesick like that.
Not when it was you who loved him just like that.
That's just how he loved you too.
══════════════════
epilogue
After what felt like the longest practice of his life, one that was just peppered with relentless teasing from his teammates and the volleyball team staff — Ryomen Sukuna was finally free to leave with you, to enjoy the weekend together.
He barely said goodbye to the others, grumbling something about “making them run that suicidal hill again on Monday” before grabbing his bag and leading you out of the gym.
“Unbelievable.” he muttered under his breath as you walked side by side. “Gojo’s gonna be insufferable for weeks.”
You stifled a laugh. “Weeks? You mean forever.”
He shot you a look, but there was no real heat behind it. Instead, he sighed and draped an arm over your shoulder as the two of you made your way to his car. “You’re lucky I love you, y’know. Otherwise, I might’ve disappeared on the spot after what you pulled, babe.”
“Oh, come on, my love.” you teased, leaning into him. “It was worth it to see the great Cursed King turn into a puddle in front of everyone. Especially because he loves me.”
“You’re cruel, babe." he grumbled, but there was a small, fond smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Can't believe I've loved you since we were in junior high."
You winked at him, smile on your lips growing wider. "And for forever too! You'll have to deal with it."
By the time you got back to Sukuna’s place, you immediately made the move to cook while he got into the shower. Soon enough, the air was thick with the scent of miso broth bubbling on the stove.
You’d planned this hotpot night earlier, since he was supposed to have gone home much earlier. But after the chaos at the gym and his long grueling practice, you just felt like it was even more well-earned.
Sukuna, finally emerging from the bedroom, rolled up his sleeves and helped you set the table, his mood softening with each step of the ritual as you hummed along the song playing on the radio.
“You got everything, babe?” he asked, peering over your shoulder as you arranged plates of thinly sliced meat, tofu, and an assortment of vegetables.
“Yup.” you replied, popping a piece of bok choy into your mouth. “And don’t even think about hogging all the meat this time.”
“Me? Hog it?” He snorted, grabbing the chopsticks and pointing them at you in mock accusation. “You’re the one who fishes out all the good stuff when I’m not looking.”
“That’s called strategy, my love.” you said, grinning as you threw his words from earlier back at him.
Sukuna groaned, dropping his face into his hands. “Not you too…”
You waved your chopsticks at him. "Well, I say it more lovingly. You like it like that, you know!"
He grumbles under his breath, red appearing on his cheek. "You're lucky I love you like that."
"Hm, that's why I'm shameless!"
But any complaints were quickly forgotten as the two of you settled down around the simmering hotpot. The warmth of the broth, the crackling of the stove, and the quiet clink of chopsticks filled the room. Sukuna started to relax, his earlier frustrations melting away as he watched you happily dunk mushrooms and noodles into the pot.
“Okay, babe.” he said suddenly, breaking the silence. “I’ve decided.”
You raised an eyebrow, chewing on a piece of tofu. “Decided what?”
“Next time Gojo calls me ‘my love’ in front of everyone, instead of just you, it’s on sight,” Sukuna said, leaning forward with a wicked grin that promised destruction.
He jabbed his chopsticks into a slice of tofu like it was Gojo’s face. “I’m spiking a volleyball straight at his stupid face.”
You burst out laughing, nearly choking on the piece of fish cake you’d been chewing. “Good luck with that. He’ll just dodge it and make fun of you even more. You know how he is—Gojo thrives on chaos. The man’s immune to consequences.”
Sukuna rolled his eyes, stabbing another piece of tofu with unnecessary aggression. “Then I’ll spike two balls. One after the other. And if that doesn’t work…”
You looked at him curiously, mirth in your eyes. "What will you do?"
He paused, his brow furrowing in mock concentration. “I’ll add laps. So many laps. He’ll be running until graduation.”
You snorted, wiping a tear from your eye. “Right, because Gojo would totally listen to your orders. He’d just turn it into a race and leave everyone else in the dust.”
Sukuna grumbled under his breath, his scowl deepening—but the corners of his mouth twitched, betraying his amusement. “Fine. If volleyball and laps don’t work, I’ll come up with something else. Something evil.”
“Evil?” you repeated, raising an eyebrow. “What, like stealing his Bottega Veneta sunglasses?”
“Too easy. He’s got like fifty pairs, babe.” Sukuna muttered, resting his chin on his hand as he considered his options. “Maybe I’ll prank him during practice. Replace his water with vinegar. Or set his alarms an hour early every day.”
"I forgot he makes his password too easy for people to guess." You murmured, drinking from your cup. You sigh. "Well, I suppose that would work."
"Right? Fool-proof!"
You tilted your head, feigning thoughtfulness. “Hmm, as solid as that is, what if he gets revenge? Gojo’s the type to double down, you would know best."
He hummed. "I'm way better at being stubborn than he is."
"I know that. But he might start serenading you in the middle of practice. Like, full-on ‘My Love’ with a guitar and everything on campus like it's 10 Things I Hate About You."
Sukuna froze, chopsticks halfway to his mouth. “He wouldn’t.”
“Oh, he absolutely would.” you said, grinning. “And you’d never live it down. The Cursed King getting serenaded in front of the entire team? In front of the whole university? They’d be talking about it for years.”
He groaned, dropping his chopsticks and leaning back against the chair like he’d just been defeated in battle. “Why do I even put up with him? Or any of you, for that matter.”
“Because deep down, you love us.” you said, smiling sweetly as you plopped another piece of meat into the hotpot. “Even Gojo.”
“I do not love Gojo,” Sukuna snapped, pointing an accusatory finger at you. “Don’t put words in my mouth.”
“Sure, sure, my love!” you teased, nudging him playfully with your elbow. “But admit it—you’d miss him if he wasn’t around to drive you insane.”
Sukuna gave you a flat look, but the twitch of his lips betrayed him again. “I’d miss you more.” he said gruffly, his voice dropping just enough to make your heart skip.
“Aww, my love.” you cooed, leaning closer to press a quick kiss to his cheek. “Don’t worry, you’re stuck with me.”
“Good to know, babe.” he said, turning back to the hotpot with a satisfied grunt. “At least you don’t call me my love in front of the team like that.”
You smirked, swirling your chopsticks through the broth. “Not yet, anyway.”
Sukuna froze mid-bite, glaring at you with wide eyes. “Don’t you dare.”
“No promises!” you said with a mischievous grin, earning a groan from him that was half exasperation, half affection.
"You're such a menace."
"Well, that's how you know I love you, my love!" You grinned, moving forward to steal his tonkatsu.
"Babe!" He groans, as he watches you eat the tonkatsu happily.
"I love you!"
Sukuna sighs, his eyes softening, watching you happily eat. "I love you too......"
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#ryomen sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna x you#ryoumen sukuna x reader#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n#sukuna ryoumen x reader#sukuna ryoumen x you#sukuna ryomen x reader#sukuna ryomen x you#ryomen x reader#ryomen x you#ryomen x y/n#sukuna jujutsu kaisen#sukuna ryomen#ryomen sukuna#jjk sukuna#jujutsu sukuna#ryomen sukuna fluff#sukuna fluff#jjk fluff#kayu writes ! ! !
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so I finished gideon the ninth
#me: I want the problematic lesbians to get together. the author: ok they're together now. me: no not like that#I'll read the next couple books but ngl I'm kind of tempted to wait for the last book to come out so I have some idea of the ending and can#brace myself#like I work full time and barely read for fun anymore so I'd rather not be raw dogging sad books in my free time without some preparation
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dating satoru and suguru pt. 2 (nsfw hcs under the cut.)
when satoru is away on long missions, you and suguru both practically live in his hoodies that have his scent on them until he comes back
speaking of scents, satoru enjoys expensive colognes, body care, and hair care. if it smells good, he wants it. of course, that meant that you and suguru also had the best brands stacked in the bathroom.
when suguru finally gets you and satoru out of bed, he prepares to-go breakfast sandwiches for all of you.
suguru asked you and satoru if he should cut his hair one day, and both of you screamed "NO" and told him to never ask that crazy shit again
suguru will whisper in yours and satoru's ears just to see how flustered you get. it works. every time.
"let's go to an arcade!" "satoru it's 2am." "so?" (spoiler alert: you three do, in fact, end up at the arcade despite it being 2am)
if satoru isn't suggesting an arcade at 2am, then you're suggesting to go get food. a 24/7 diner in your neighborhood HATES to see you three coming. (especially satoru. remember that scene with the burgers? lmao he can EAT.)
digimon marathons! (you and suguru are NOT allowed to say no)
"uh... whose turn is it to do dishes?"
when suguru notices someone else looking at either you or satoru with interest, he'll kiss you hard. he doesn't share.
both you and suguru call satoru "pretty boy" and he blushes every time
all three of you have a stuffed animal that matches your hair color.
nsfw hcs under the cut [mdni]
satoru and suguru were ALL of your firsts. suguru was the first one to kiss you, finger you, and fuck you; satoru was the first one to suck your tits, eat you out, and cum inside of you.
suguru was super, super gentle during your first time. he was also satoru's first. he loved you both so much and wanted you to be comfortable.
neither of them like it when you touch yourself. if you're horny, they want to take care of it.
suguru is a brat tamer. he handles you and satoru's bratty behavior effortlessly. he loves putting you two back in your place more than anything else.
when satoru was acting up all day, suguru tied him up, then fucked you in front of him. he was only allowed to watch and not touch. by the time you cum on suguru's cock, satoru's stuttering his apologies and begging to touch you both.
suguru loves to watch you and satoru make each other feel good. he'll stroke himself while you ride satoru. even from the side, he was still in charge. you and satoru knew better than to cum without permission.
high tension after an argument? you'll fuck it out.
satoru enjoys pushing suguru until he explodes. suguru's always so irritated bc of work and he'd rather hold it in instead of talking about it, and satoru gets under his skin, so he'll snap and take out all of his frustrations on him.
you do the same. you love it when he's rough. besides, anyone would need the stress relief after putting in long hours as a sorcerer.
suguru also relieves you and satoru's stress. nothing is ever one-sided. he'll please you until you can't take it anymore.
satoru loves your tits. he's obsessed with them, actually. you don't think there's been a day where there weren't any marks on them.
amazing aftercare. all of you spoil the hell out of each other. so much cuddling, so many gentle kisses, and food. all of you love food after sex. you and satoru always whine when suguru leaves the bed to get something from the kitchen because you want to cuddle. "i'm literally going right down the hall. i'll be back."
you're wiping some frosting off of satoru's cheek when he asks you and suguru to watch more digimon. you can't refuse, especially when he's adorably looking up at you both with those beautiful blue eyes of his.
#sigh i love them so much#geto suguru#gojo satoru#satosugu x you#satosugu x reader#suguru x satoru x reader#geto x gojo x reader#written by rey <3#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo x reader#geto x reader#gojo imagine#geto imagines#satosugu x reader headcannons#jjk x reader
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Not Meant for the World
Kamisato Ayato x Fem!Servant!Reader
Summary: You fell for him, he fell for you, it was the typical start of a relationship, only problem is… well, he's him and you're you. A Commissioner who holds power over the nation, and a servant that basically amounts to nothing in the whole scheme of things. It was a mutual decision to keep your relationship a secret, only to be kept within the dead of night in his bedroom, evaporating before the sun could even rise for another day. But then… Ayato seems so keen keeping it a secret forever, letting the stream of wedding proposals and love letters flood in, going through great lengths to make sure the information doesn't leak out, almost like he's ashamed of being with someone like you. You could only take so much of that.
Tags: Angst no Comfort, Hidden Relationship
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
"You should probably go back to your quarters." As you were snuggled up to your lover's chest, enjoying his warmth under the covers of his bed, he spoke.
"But it's barely time." You whined, pressing your body closer to his and rubbing your face on his chest.
Back then, he would cave, he would chuckle and wrap his arms tighter around you, saying that you could stay for a little bit more and that he didn't really want you to leave anyway.
Now… he pulls away from your embrace, sighing as he looks you in the eye.
"It would be best to elliminate all the chances of us being caught, and I believe that some of the servants have been getting up early to start their shifts." He reasoned, his hold faltering as you feel his arms slip off you.
You felt a clenching pain in your chest as you slowly get up, looking around his room, you didn't want to leave, and yet when you looked at him, you felt like you were being pushed away.
"Okay… I guess I'll get going now…"
This is the part where he would usually kiss you and remind you that he loves you…
It never came…
You left his room without another word.
…
"Is it perhaps too much to visit a festival together?" You asked, not expecting a pleasurable answer from the Yashiro Commissioner sat on his office chair and drinking a cup of tea you prepared for him.
"I believe it is, being seen in public in a non-professional setting would be rather suspicious if it's just the two of us." Ayato responds firmly, oblivious to (or perhaps just ignoring) the frown that formed on your face.
"We've been out together multiple times…" You reasoned, though you sounded unsure, not wanting to sour his mood and lessen your chances of getting him to agree to your proposal. "We haven't been on a date in a while."
"The families offering up their daughters to me are very vigilant of my public movements, suspicions will arise if they were to see me with any lady for no particular reason." He did not even spare you a glance, answering swiftly as he always does.
Yet again, you fail to persuade him to be with you. You prepared to say more, but a knock came before your words.
A guest came to the estate, a father of one of the many noble ladies offering their hand in marriage.
Long story short, he's here to talk marriage business, as these fathers always do.
When the guest left for a moment, "My lord, I just need a few more minutes to talk to you." Many times, you have tried to intervene, not satisfied with how your conversation earlier abruptly ended.
"Y/N, there are matters more important than this. Wait a moment." He pays you no mind, but you have had enough. "You are being too obv-"
"Ayato, stop." You spoke firmly, freezing him in his place. "I'm still talking to you." You approached him, his back still turned to you.
Slowly, he turned around to face you, his eyes held an unfit expression for him, almost like nervousness. "Y/N, let's not do this now…"
"Do you still want to be with me?" You asked impulsively, stripping the formalities and simply talking to the man you knew as your lover. Your eyes fill with tears, looking at him being lost for words. You hoped his answer would be immediate, that he would exclaim that why would you even ask such a question.
As you stood there, "Lord Kamisato, come along, don't let the servant keep all of our time." The guest came back, standing beside Ayato, who had yet to say anything.
No words were spoken, but the Commissioner knew that right there, right in front of the unknowing guest, in your watery gaze, he had a choice to make.
"Why don't you get us some tea in the meantime?" The guest spoke up again referring to you, but you have no intention of moving until your lover finally speaks up.
With a gulp, Ayato stood his ground. "Yes, please prepare us some tea, Y/N. No more of your nonsense."
A single tear, that's what you allowed for him to see as you nodded silently. But as you prepared the tea, your vision was blurry from the neverending tears, your sobs couldn't be controlled as you struggle to catch your breath.
But you needed that, you needed that to remind yourself that you are merely a servant.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
The Yashiro Commissioner sat on his bed that night, looking at the door to his room. His heart was beating fast, hoping for it to open and show the figure of his lover, though the odds are against his desires.
He hoped that maybe you'd spare him a chance, that you'd walk into the room and tell him that you'll allow him to show you how you much he truly loves you.
The door remains close. And so does his heart begin to ache. Ayato didn't sleep that night, he merely lied down and looked up at the ceiling, trying to imagine your warmth embracing him, trying to make it seem like your side of the bed wasn't left cold.
…
"My Lord…" His eyes looked up from the document he's been staring it for the past hour when he heard your voice… calling him in such a cold manner. You said nothing more, placing a tray of tea and pastries on an empty spot on his desk.
"Ahh, thank you…" Ayato looked at your face, hoping to see your usual smile whenever you served him his afternoon tea, yet your face held nothing but a blank expression. You merely bowed at him, before leaving without another word.
Your name was at the tip of his tongue, and his entire being screamed at him to just say it. He wanted desperately to call for your attention, but, though he did not want to admit it… he was scared…
You stopped in your tracks, remembering something that you had to discuss with him. Ayato, ever so perceptive of your actions, perked up.
"You have a meeting with the head of the Tenryou Commission later at noon, something about an agreement with regards to your relation with his daughter." You did not bother to face him to give him the reminder, opting to walk away once you finished your sentence.
The Yashiro Commissioner's face fell as he watched you leave the room, his heart still heavy, and his mind cursing at him for not having the guts to talk to you properly.
…
The pain felt more real once he entered his room for the night.
The place has been wiped clean of your existence, the covers have been changed so not even your scent lingered, some of the clothes you kept in his closet are gone, the vase of flowers you like to decorate his nightstand with is gone…
The framed picture of the two of you that sat on his nightstand is gone…
It felt suffocating…
With a sigh, Ayato closed the door, not wanting to see such a sad space, he instead went back to his office.
As he sat on his chair, he opened one of the drawers of his desk…
A smiled couldn't help but form on his face, a bittersweet one, when he saw the picture of you that he kept there a long time ago.
He laid his head on his arms on the desk, your picture next to his face. He figures that it was the only way he can sleep without feeling the suffocating emptiness of his room weighing upon him.
…
Today is the day the festival you were so excited about starts, and it's already been arranged for quite a while that today is your day-off. "…Y/N was really hoping that I'd join her at the festival." Half of
Thoma's words were muffled, but he could make out your name and the festival.
The blond retainer was asking for a day-off as well, to go with you.
Something uncomfortable boiled in Ayato's core, you asked him to join you back then, and he said that he couldn't. Yet, all he wishes now was to accompany you, to be by your side and not have to think about keeping your relationship a secret.
"With Y/N…?" Ayato asked, his voice laced with disappointment that did not escape his retainer's ears.
"Is something the matter, my Lord?"
Truly did his entire being want to disapprove of Thoma's request, he wants to go to you and offer to go with you himself.
"No, I'm quite alright, Thoma…" The Yashiro Commissioner heaved a sigh. "I'll allow your request."
You spent your day at the festival with Thoma, and it was obvious that you enjoyed it given the large smile that was plastered when you got back to the estate.
Meanwhile, Ayato spent his day at his desk, looking at meaningless paperwork while dreaming of being hand-in-hand with you at the festival, imagining that you would eat your heart out with all the streetfood available, watch the firework show when nighttime falls, and dance slowly at the festival music at midnight when everyone else already left.
That night though, he approaches you, his heart pounding when he caught your attention. "May I… ask you to sleep next to me again?"
He was tired, he could only take a week of sleeping in his office because his room haunted him too much. Unfortunately for him, he doesn't know how to even start explaining himself, doesn't know how to win you back, to say that he does choose you over any form of nobility that he has.
You smiled at him… emptily.
"I'm your servant, my lord. If you wish for me to, I will."
So you did, you slept next to him, he hugged you tightly, snuggling you up to his chest, yet you refused to hug back, to nuzzle in his embrace like you used to. You merely did as you were requested.
Ayato tried to ignore the tightening of his heart just before sleep and exhausted took over him.
But he couldn't ignore the chill he felt when he woke up hugging nothing. It's just as it should be, the servant listened to her lord, and now she left to do her other tasks.
It was crazy to hope a relationship like yours could work out. Kamisato Ayato felt a few tears fall from his eyes, now, he wished for you to stay.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
Yo, it's 3am and I'm gonna sleep now.
#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact imagines#genshin impact#genshin impact angst#genshin angst#genshin imagines#genshin impact ayato#kamisato ayato x reader#ayato angst#genshin ayato
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.
#idk what's gotten into me recently but i barely do anything academic anymore#i just finish classes come back to my dorm and rot in my room#i have my first ever paper to prepare thats due by the end of april#ive found sources and determined the main stuff#however i tried to start the introduction today and can barely write out anything#i like the theme that i chose however i feel like it's not the best decision#or i just havent focused on what's important#rather i have gathered so much about the social part of it and need to refocus on the tech part#bc in the end that's what should be prelavent in the paper#idk man i feel like it's gonna come to me one day and I'll write it out last minute like always#also with starting my summer job i cant start my course soon#i have to wait until spetember bc otherwise my exam season is gonna be fucked with work exams and course work#idk it will work out eventually im just quite overwhelmed#perhaps that's why i cant seem to focus on anything#my recent social life is just ups and downs and it's all my fault like always#i just cant comprehend some stuff and desperately need to forget about things in order to focus on school work bc in the end!!!!#that's what im here for#life rambles#uni rambles
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# tsukishima kei - perfect match
a/n: watch me suddenly appear out of nowhere after the school year has finally ended to post something!! i'm sure absolutely no one is surprised that tsukishima is the centre of this fic, but tbh idk how to feel about it (it's definitely longer than my usual ones but i didn't proofread it, so idk if the lenght is an advantage or not) but i hope you'll like it ^^ with school being over for the next two months i'll finally have time to write, so expect more works soon!!
summary: you and tsukishima decide to help your friends get together, but the plan is long forgotten when you realize what your own feelings are.
warnings: nothing really, canon yamayachi (my loves), some light swearing, bad writing
tsukishima kei did not expect any of his friends to bother him in the middle of the night. hell, he didn't even expect any of them to disturb his alone time at all. and yet at exactly 2.34 in the morning, right as he was about to turn off his currently binge watched tv show and go to sleep, he felt his phone buzzing on the nightstand.
his eyes focused on your name, written in white font on his phone screen, surely shocked by the sight.
'why are you calling me at 2 in the goddamn morni-'
'is yamaguchi interested in anyone?'
your question caught him off-guard even more than the call itself, his brows furrowing in a weirded-out look.
'if you're asking for yourself, i'm positive that he is not interested.'
tsukishima heard a sigh of annoyance on the other side of the call and could only imagine the exact look on your face in this very moment.
'well, thank god, because i'm not asking for myself.' you said. there were muffled sounds of someone preparing food in the background. 'i'm asking for yachi.'
the blonde boy smiled unconsciously.
'he does like her.' the boy stated, turning off his laptop as he put it back on the desk. 'so much so, in fact, that it can be kind of annoying sometimes.'
you squealed with excitement, a giggle leaving your mouth at tsukishima's remark.
'perfect! now, listen carefully.'
that singular phone call created an alliance between you and kei. an alliance with only one goal; getting your two best friends to finally confess to each other. to both of you, it was almost infuriating how blind they were; how they didn't notice just how obvious it was that they both shared the same feeling. constant blushing at as little as a mention of the other's name, the stolen glances, the very obvious pining - all of it seemed to be non-existent in the eyes of both yamaguchi and yachi.
but lucky for them, you had a plan.
his eyes lingered on you for a few seconds, as if awaiting a sign from you. tsukishima still thought of your 'master plan' as rather silly, but seeing the determination on your face, and the frown that appeared when he called your idea stupid was enough for him to sigh and go with it this once.
the four of you were currently occupied with studying for a math test coming up next week, everyone nose deep in their notebooks. well, everyone except for kei.
the boy cleared his throat almost theatrically, drawing the attention of the three of you.
'yamaguchi, i think i'll have to pass on the movies this weekend.' he said, the tone of his voice as lifeless as ever. 'akiteru insisted that i go to one of his games, so i guess you'll have to take someone else.'
the freckled boy looked a little troubled upon hearing the information. both you and tsukishima were well aware that the tickets to the cinema were already paid for; yamaguchi would definitely be sad if it all went to waste.
'well, i guess i can ask hina-'
'yachi, didn't you tell me last week that you wanted to go to the movies with someone?' you barged in before the boy could even finish his sentence, your friend freezing in her spot at the mention of a conversation you had not that long ago, cheeks flushed pink at the mere thought of going somewhere with yamaguchi one-on-one. 'maybe you'd fill in for tsukki?'
the girl glanced at you, panic in her eyes as an awkward silence filled the room, everyone waiting for her to answer. you gave her an encouraging smile, as if trying to non-verbally tell her to go for it, to use this as a chance to get closer to the boy she liked for so long.
'if yamaguchi doesn't mind...' she mumbled quietly, head turning to face the boy who was already shaking his head.
'of course i don't.' yamaguchi smiled, his small dimples showing up in the process.
you glanced over to look at tsukishima, a triumphant smile on your face as if you just won a volleyball tournament. his hair was slightly messy, and his glasses were sliding off his nose, two of the top buttons on his school uniform unbuttoned, showing a bit of his collarbones. surprisingly enough, the blonde boy smiled back; a small, quick smile that your eyes barely noticed. you had no idea what it was, but something about that singular smile made your heart beat faster.
don't. the main focus of this entire thing is to get yachi and yamaguchi together. not to think of tsukishima and how attractive he looks-
shit.
developing a crush on tsukishima kei was certainly not part of your plan.
at first, you tried ignoring it as much as you could, focusing solely on your friends and getting them to date. as time went on and yamaguchi and yachi started getting closer, you almost felt a sense of relief - you could finally stop spending so much time around tsukishima, which made your chances of getting over your stupid crush higher.
but it wasn't as easy as you thought. tsukishima was intelligent, pretty, and his snarky remarks and judgy personality actually drew you to him even more with each passing day. through the countless conversations and numerous phone calls, he proved himself to be more than just a salty, mean guy that everyone viewed him as.
'soon enough, they won't even need our help.' you mumbled to yourself as you opened your bento box, a smile on your face as you noticed your mom homemade onigiri inside. 'i don't know what i'll do with myself then.'
tsukishima scoffed, closing the textbook in front of him.
'maybe start focusing on your own love life for once.'
'hey! it's not my fault that i'm a good friend.' you stated, mouth full of food, as you looked up at your friend sitting on the opposite side of the table, looking through the tasks assigned for next week. 'besides, it's not like i'm the only one.'
tsukishima adjusted his glasses, looking up at you for a mere second before focusing back on his notebook.
'touché.'
'oh, come on.' you whined out, dissatisfied with the lack of response from the blonde boy. 'you won't miss this even a little bit?'
alright, maybe just a bit-
'no.' tsukishima stated firmly, fixing his posture as he highlighted one of the important sentences written down. you heard a bit of hesitation in his voice, and the few seconds of silence before hearing an answer couldn't help but make you wonder. you decided to ignore it this time - he was focused on something else right now, there was no need to disturb him.
'do you think yachi will like my outfit?'
tsukishima was sitting at the edge of his best friend's bed, mindlessly scrolling through his phone and occasionally looking up to see the twelfth - no, thirteenth shirt that yamaguchi has tried on already. the boy sighed, turning his device off.
'it's your first official date, i'm sure she doesn't mind what you wear.' he stated, gaining a frown from yamaguchi.
'you didn't answer my question.'
'alright, i think she'll like it.' the blonde haired boy said, reaching out for a bag of chips, opening it with a loud sound. 'but i'm sure she'll focus more on the date itself rather than what you're wearing.'
ever since announcing to their friends that they're going on their first official date, both yamaguchi and yachi were full of stress, constantly overthinking every little detail from their outfit to whether or not the date will go well or not. tsukishima found it rather comical - it was only a date after all. why stress over it so much? he never went on one, obviously, but he always thought that when the day came, he'd approach it calmly.
'do you have any tips on how to not freak out?' yamaguchi asked suddenly, catching his friend off-guard. 'during the date, i mean.'
'how can i know? i've never gone on one.'
the freckled boy looked at tsukishima, a confused expression on his face as he processed his words.
'oh.' he paused for a second, his voice quieter when he continued speaking. 'i thought you and y/n were, you know, a thing.'
huh?
to say tsukishima was shocked was an understatement. he genuinely had no idea what to say; he never even let a thought of you and him being more than friends, 'partners in crime', as you loved to say, slip through his mind. never did it occur to him that someone from the outside would see your relationship as being something more than a merely platonic one.
well, maybe there was something to it after all.
yamaguchi's words made him wonder - although he did find you annoying at times, it was only occasionally and to a very little degree. that in itself was very rare in tsukishima's eyes, as he found most of the people surrounding him at least normally annoying. you, on the other hand, were a completely different case. your jokes, no matter how awkward or downright cringe, made him crack a silent laugh more often than not, and every time he saw you smile, his lips uncontrollably curved up into a small, barely noticeable one themselves.
'oh, no, absolutely not.' the blonde blurted out after a long minute of silence, the tips of his ears turning a bright shade of red. 'there is not a single bone in my body that would want to date her. now get up idiot, or you'll be late to your date.'
the moment tsukishima opened his bedroom, after walking his friend to the bus stop, he immediately plopped down on his bed, phone in hand, instinctively opening messages to write to you. surprisingly enough, a message was already waiting for him.
'yachi almost cried because of how stressed she is T-T'
'do you think we should spy on them to make sure it all goes well?'
he found himself smiling at the words on his phone screen, quickly typing back an answer.
'do you really not have a life of your own?'
'idiot.'
only after a few minutes did he get a response from you.
'can i come over?? i'm bored :33'
a harmless message, one might think. in reality, tsukishima was freaking out at the mere thought of hanging out with you for a reason other than setting up your friends, his cheeks a light shade of pink as his eyes kept digging a hole through his phone.
you weren't any better than him - hands slightly shaky as you awaited a response for what felt like hours, but was actually just a few minutes. you had no idea what took over you; was it a sudden wave of bravery or rather an idiotic spontaneous choice to ask tsukishima that. but nonetheless, when you finally got the response, you felt ecstatic.
'alright.'
'bring some snacks.'
'kei, i think yamaguchi is he- oh, that's certainly a new face.'
you stood in front of the door with an awkward smile, facing tsukishima's older brother, akiteru, his eyes scanning you from head to toe. to say he was surprised was an understatement - he looked as if he'd seen a ghost. as if a friend that's not yamaguchi coming over to tsukishima's house was so out of the ordinary that it could become a national holiday.
'come in.' the younger male appeared in the back of the hall, an oversized dinosaur shirt and shorts on. his expression was softer than usual; not until he looked at his brother, whom he gave a sharp stare, signaling him to let you inside and don't make such a fuss about it.
you sat down on his bed, awkward silence filling up the room. not wanting to make the conversation about your friends as per usual, you slowly realized you don't know what to talk about, trying to think of something, anything, as you began unpacking your bag filled with snacks.
surprisingly enough, it was tsukishima who spoke up first.
'wanna watch a movie?' he asked, opening his drawer to pull out two bottles of soda, hidden there so that his brother doesn't devour all of them. 'unless it'll make you even more bored than you were before.'
'well, if you have a boring taste in movies-'
'says the one who looks like their favorite movie is mamma mia.' tsukishima scoffed under his breath, turning his laptop on and starting to search up movies. you looked at him, a dramatic expression as you pretended to be offended.
'and you look like you're about to mansplain the godfather to me.'
a short silence filled the room before you heard the blonde boy let out a short, muffled laugh at your comment.
'you couldn't be more wrong.' he sat down next to you, a small smile still on his face. 'i found it kind of boring, actually.'
'what do you like, then?'
'horror movies.' tsukishima stated, eyes focused on the screen. 'but tadashi gets easily scared, so i often don't have a chance to watch them.'
'same with me and yachi.' you said, unconsciously scooping a bit closer to the boy as you tried to get a better look at what he was searching up. 'i love them, but yachi jumps at every small scare on the screen. sometimes, she even gets scared when there's nothing happening at all.'
'they really do match each other.' he mumbled, putting the laptop on the bed as he pressed play on a movie he chose. his eyes quickly glanced your way to get a nod of approval on his choice.
'yeah, they do.'
and we could, too.
'are you and tsukishima dating?'
you almost spat out your drink, the words coming out of hinata's mouth catching you so off-guard you were close to choking.
the three of you, along with kageyama, were currently cleaning up after volleyball practice, the boys racing on who would clean more balls off of the floor.
'no, we're not.' you said in a clearly sad tone with an obvious hint of dissatisfaction in your voice. 'what the hell made you think that way?'
the orange haired boy stopped in his tracks, his signature smile disappearing for a minute as he got lost in his own thoughts.
'oh! i remember now.' he said after a short while, his grin coming back. 'yamaguchi told me that you two are close.'
'he did also mention that he seems happier around you.' kageyama added, joining the conversation. 'seeing tsukishima happy must be pretty scary.'
not really, you thought. but at the same time, what confused you more was what kageyama said right before.
he seems happier around you.
yamaguchi has been kei's friend for the longest time, so any of his observations must be true, or at least that's what you liked to believe. but would that mean that tsukishima kei, the salty, closed-off guy whom everyone finds intimidating could possibly like you? was there truly a possibility that he enjoyed spending time with you?
as you finished cleaning up the hall, saying your goodbyes to your two friends who ran off to practice volleyball somewhere else, a familiar, tall figure appeared in the doorframe, sharp eyes staring at you with an expression that you couldn't exactly decipher.
'want me to walk you home?' he asked, hands in his pockets. 'it's getting late.'
you looked at him, trying to hide the blush creeping up onto your cheeks before quickly nodding as an answer.
'sure, let's go.'
most of the walk was filled with silence on both parts, exactly as you expected. even though it might've felt awkward for some, you did enjoy his presence in itself enough that a conversation wasn't necessary.
the boy stopped in his tracks mid-way, reaching into his backpack and pulling out his phone and an old pair of white, wired earphones, showing them to you as a silent question of whether you wanted to listen to music with him or not. you agreed without a second thought, a small smile on your face as he put on one of his playlists.
'i really like this song.' you mumbled, eyes lighting up upon hearing the familiar melody. with both of you wearing the same set of headphones right now, you were practically forced to walk closer to each other - hands constantly brushing against one another, a faint blush on your face as you tried to ignore it and focus on the music.
tsukishima, on the other hand, couldn't shake away the thoughts roaming around his head. he felt as if what he was doing now was incredibly unlike him; and maybe it was. but for some reason, he didn't mind being like this around you. less cocky, sarcastic, mean and more... gentle.
he could feel his fingers brushing against yours from time to time, and it drove him crazy. should he go for it and play it off nonchalantly, or just ignore it? should he even make the first move or wait for you to do it?
before he was able to decide, tsukishima felt your hand reaching for his, heart rate immediately speeding up as your fingers shyly intertwined with his, looking the other way to hide your anxious expression.
his hand was much bigger than yours, but somehow it fit perfectly with yours. as if they were created solely to hold one another and nothing else. the plan to get your friends to be together was long forgotten by now - your mind was clouded with thoughts of tsukishima only, and little did you know that his wasn't any different.
you glanced his way only to find his eyes already on you, hiding his true feelings behind a nonchalant look. only now did you notice that the two of you were standing in front of your house, the boy adjusting his glasses as he waited to see what you'll do next.
'i guess i should go home now.' you mumbled, but you still didn't move an inch, hand not leaving his. 'see you tomorrow?'
his hand squeezed yours tightly before taking it away, an unusually warm and welcoming smile on his face.
'sure. see you tomorrow, idiot.'
but as you slowly made your way towards the door, tsukishima couldn't shake away the feeling in him, telling him to go for it. and as much as he tried to resist it, he just couldn't anymore.
'wait.’
before you could fully turn away, tsukishima kei's lips were already on yours, a sweet, long kiss that felt as if he was waiting to do it for years. his hand traveled to your waist and it didn't take long for you to react; lips moving swiftly with his, noses bumping into one another before you pulled away, a giggle escaping your mouth as you saw just how red tsukishima's face was.
‘don't laugh at me, moron.’ he said, immediately catching the reason for your laughter as he flicked you in the forehead. ‘your whole face is red, too.’
‘i didn't expect you to do this.’ you mumbled, eyes focused on his as you reached to hold his hand again. ‘didn't expect my feelings to be mutual, either.’
‘i'm glad we feel the same.’ his face leaned in closer to yours, a wave of confidence taking over him as he placed a short kiss on your forehead. ‘but i would still prefer to properly ask you out. if you'd say yes, that is.’
‘of course i would.’ you smiled, ‘i'd be stupid not to.’
‘should we bet on how long it takes the others to realize we're dating now?’ tsukishima smiled at you, eyes not leaving yours for even a spare second. you laughed at his idea, giving his hand a squeeze.
‘get ready to lose, kei.’
‘you wish.’
taglist: @moonswolfie
#tsxkkis#tsukishima kei#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima kei x reader#karasuno x reader#tsukishima fluff#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu fluff
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It's done!
I've wanted to make a Stranger emotion sheet for a while, so for the past month, I've been working on this. This has taken me at least 30 hours to draw, and another 15 to fully and properly animate and save. Possibly one of the largest projects I've drawn!
Below the cut, I've added a little bit of extra info behind the design choices as well as the lineart-only version and the dark version.
Since the full sheet is rather low-res, in the reblogs, I'll also add individual versions of each emotion—one for the full version, one for lines, and one for dark version ;v;
---
Neutral
The basis for all emotions was based on how many Stranger fan artists draw him. While his eyes are more hooded in his main sprite in the game, I went for more open eyes to make him more expressive in the others. He received the shirt that current day Basil wears and is based on his 16-year-old design. His mouth isn’t visible in this state.
Injured
Beaten and bruised. Might resemble something else bloody that could potentially disturb Sunny when he’s reminded of her, so that even damaging Stranger threatens Omori’s purpose.
Defeated
Like Omori, Stranger does not succumb, as he is an intrinsic part of Sunny’s psyche. His physical form lets loose, and his colours invert.
Happy
When Omori looks at you :D
Ecstatic
A winner’s grin and jolting shoulders betray Stranger’s emotional state as he tries to hold in his laughter. Whether he’s mocking you or he’s just happy to see you is up to you.
Manic
Now having snapped, Stranger full on lets out a nasty snicker and a boisterous laugh, looking down on his enemies in mocking amusement.
Sad
When Omori ignores you :(
Depressed
Ghosts can cry?
Miserable
End of life type of misery. Paralysed by grief, Stranger might choose to put an end to himself rather than waiting for defeat, but might in turn damage Sunny’s brain by harming part of himself. In a last-ditch effort to guilt him into facing the truth, he uses familiar imagery that might shock Sunny enough to snap him out of this nightmare.
Angry
Stranger isn’t easy to anger, so his first stage of anger is more like exasperated annoyance.
Enraged
As his anger ramps up, Stranger prepares his vines to grab and skewer any enemy who might seek to enrage him.
Furious
Molten fury tears into the fabric of the dream, collapsing it into a mess of glitches and weaving his tar rage into its matrix as he seeks revenge on not just Omori, but the dream itself. This is the point of no return.
Afraid
Nervous, Stranger tries to control his breathing and stay calm.
Stressed Out
As his pulse hammers through his body and he heaves, Stranger’s outlines have inverted in sheer panic.
Terrified
The whites disperse into cyan, magenta, and yellow. Some say it is a survival instinct to evaporate into nothingness.
Dark version
Lineart version
#omori#omori game#omori fanart#omori stranger#stranger omori#omori basil#basil omori#animation#polaroid posts#stranger
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duking it out - rafe cameron (18+)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f810aaad213ad9df70621a042c851a5e/03dc5326f460de2e-5d/s540x810/731fcebdea7a929435f2c9da2766fa46566b43ba.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d0544d0b7008ca840a408110b5422b6a/03dc5326f460de2e-23/s540x810/75494cb88a89b552ca37a310f60f35a5eef31246.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/218153c26d2554dc0fc6ee21b1f71a00/03dc5326f460de2e-a8/s540x810/9d7754b942172b0a744947842d229ba9f4a3a75e.jpg)
summary: when you almost get robbed after a night out, your best friend insists you learn some self-defence from her older brother, who happens to own a gym. you also can't stand each other, but what happens when the two of you are left to your own devices.
content warnings: original afab!reader, obx!universe, enemies to lovers, best friends brother, boxer!rafe, use of petnames (princess, baby), 18+ MDNI - smut, dom!rafe, dirty talk, fingering, spanking, unprotected p in v, minor use of restraint, mirror sex, reader hurts herself/blood tw, mentions of getting robbed/jumped (not by rafe lol), mentions of guns/pepper spray, angsty af
length: 4.2k words
"Will you at least promise me you'll consider it?"
"Sarah, no. I'm not-"
"You almost got mugged. It would give me some peace of mind." she disputes once again, looking at you wearily.
She wasn't exactly wrong. It was a few weeks back while you were walking through Figure 8 on your way home from another wild kegger on the beach. And in the early hours of the morning, the sun having barely risen, some masked Pogue took the opportunity to ambush you.
Luckily, you carried pepper spray on you for this specific reason, blasting it in the culprit's face and sprinting back to your place as fast as you could. But according to your best friend, you should be a bit more prepared if you ever ended up in worse circumstances, god forbid.
"Rafe!" she calls through the house, marching towards the kitchen without even checking to see if you were following. "Can you help me out with this?"
"What are you talking about?" he quizzes, scrunching his face in confusion.
"She doesn't think she needs to learn any self-defense." Sarah clarifies, earning a judgmental scoff from the older boy.
"That's fucking stupid." he corroborates, causing you to glare at him.
"Don't call me stupid." you pout, wishing your well-meaning best friend hadn't dragged her overbearing brother into another one of your predicaments.
Saying you and Rafe didn't get along was an understatement. You couldn't stand him. He was arrogant, and rude, and just completely unbearable. You didn't know how someone as kind and bubbly as Sarah was related to such a nightmare. And along with his dreadful personality, he had a bit of a bad reputation around the island.
Rumours swirled about how he'd been involved in shady business deals or that he was entangled with one of the island's most infamous and menacing gangs. Having gotten into his fair share of fights in high school, which led you back to why you were having this conversation in the first place.
"What? Would you rather I lied?" he taunts, unscrewing the cap of whatever sports drink he was holding and taking a sip.
"Enough." Sarah referees. "Besides, you told me you'd help."
"That was before I knew who it was." he antagonizes, not even sparing you a glance.
"Yeah. As much as I'd love an excuse to punch Rafe, I'll have to pass." you acknowledge in a rare moment of compromise.
"Didn't know you liked it rough," he insinuates, rolling your eyes at the innuendo.
"Please." Sarah turns back to you in a pleading manner. "Just some basic stuff. I just want to make sure you don't find yourself in a vulnerable situation again. I hate to agree with him, but it is stupid to turn down learning from, like, one of the best trainers on the island."
Rafe decided after high school that he'd channel his fury and aggressive energy into something more productive, opening his gym up a few years back. And unfortunately, you knew she was probably right. The boxing studio having become one of the hottest spots to work out in Figure 8.
"Don't look so excited, princess. A lot of girls would be jumping at the chance to get free coaching from me." he quips.
"You're not gonna drop this?" you purse your lips at Sarah, her agitation not easing at all. "Fine. Whatever."
"No, if we're doing this, we're doing it my way. My gym." Rafe interjects. "You're gonna be there tomorrow morning at 8. You're gonna come, you're gonna listen to what I tell you, and you're not gonna act like a brat because I'm doing this as a favor for Sarah. Got it?"
With a hesitant nod, the session was set for the next day to your contempt. You were met by the sound of grunts and rustling chains when you entered the facility, finding Rafe at the far side of the room battering a punching bag. Too focused to realize you'd walked in, giving you the opportunity to get a proper look at him.
He wore a fitted white tank and basketball shorts, his sun-kissed skin coated in a thin layer of sweat. His toned arms on full display for you to admire as they tensed every time he hit the cushioned equipment. His signature grimace settled on his features as he beat the hung-up gear like it was personal.
"Fuck," he curses, alarmed once he detected your presence. "Sorry. Have you been here long?" He shrugs off, going for a swig of water.
"Just a minute," you reveal, stepping further into the building, almost feeling as though you weren't supposed to be there.
"Is, uh, that what you're wearing, or were you gonna change?" he surveys, taking in the tight leggings and crop top that clung to you. You shook your head at his question, neither of you knowing how to proceed cordially.
"You don't have to do this, by the way," you mention, giving him one last out.
"Huh?"
"I get you're doing this for Sarah. I can tell her you did if you'd just rather I go..." you offer.
"What? Already trying to run?" he solicits, the typical friction between you arising once again. "I don't mind," he reinforces, relieving some of your apprehension.
He advised that you stretch a bit first, reluctantly following his lead as he got into what you were sure was his standard routine, somewhat hopeless yourself when it came to working out. An R&B track playing lightly over the speakers, filling the uncomfortable quiet that hung between you two.
You found yourself fixed on Rafe longer than usual, blaming it on the fact that you were trying to mimic his agile movements. There was no denying he was attractive, another trait you found particularly irritating, but seeing him in his element gave you a whole new perspective. He looked incredibly chiseled, a stark contrast to the usual sight of him in shirts that hid his arms, noticing how swole his biceps were with every flex of his.
Once you were finished warming up, he led you towards the practice ring that sat at the back of the gym. Tossing you a pair of boxing gloves and discarding his tank to the side prior to ushering you onto the canvas. Circling the perimeter like he was a shark targeting his prey.
"Are you gonna walk around and stare at me all day, or actually teach me something useful?" you sassed, making him to stop in his tracks with a hardened expression. "I don't have all day, Rafe."
"What happened again?"
"I was, uh, walking home from that party on the beach a few weeks back, and some kid jumped out at me on my way home and tried taking my shit." you recount, Rafe frowning at the story.
"Have you ever learned any self-defense?" he inquires.
"Yeah, I pepper sprayed him and ran the fuck home." you explain, making him snicker.
"And when you don't have that on you?"
"I don't know. My keys? A gun?"
"A gun?" he remarks, amused by your answer.
"Yeah. I could get one of those small ones."
"Sounds like a solid plan, princess."
"I swear, if you're just gonna piss me off-"
"I told you when we agreed to this you can't stand around and bitch at me the entire time." he recalls, not appearing too impressed.
"Then teach me something."
"Fine, let's work on your reaction time."
"My reaction time is fine. I did fight him off." you refute, tired of the constant belittling.
"And how big was this guy? Was he 6'5 and huge, or some shrimpy Pogue that wasn't much taller than you?" he challenges, startled at how accurate the latter description was of your attacker. "You might not get that lucky next time around."
You let him take over from there, watching as he continued walking around the platform menacingly, almost sizing you up in a way. Like you were playing a dangerous game of cat and mouse. Like there was a hint of something almost suggestive hanging in the air between you.
In any other scenario, you probably would've laughed at how he was stalking towards you. Abruptly diving out to snatch you from the side, making you whip around and instinctively throwing your hands in front of you. Not giving him a chance to grab you properly. Seeming satisfied with your efforts, he stepped back to the edge of the ring to launch into the next drill.
It all happened so fast. He rushed towards you from behind, your initial impulse being to turn and lunge the other way, not realizing your shoelace had untied. You were in the air for a few seconds, tripping face-first into the mats. An ache immediately rising as you peeled yourself off the floor, almost missing how Rafe was at your side without delay, concern etched on his features.
"Shit."
He scanned you for injuries, quick to fuss over your condition while you were just trying to adjust to his sudden worry towards you. As you caught your breath, it hitched again when he reached out and held your cheek. Growing nervous when you saw his focus drift to your mouth.
"You're bleeding..." he notes, his thumb swiping over your bottom lip. "Don't move."
He dashed over to snag the first-aid kit and hurried back over, chucking it on the ground beside you. Taking your wrists and unfastening the padded protection covering your fists, doing the same with the other. He searched through the small bag, ripping open an antiseptic wipe as he assessed the wound.
"Sit down." he requested, complying to his instruction since you didn't want to cause any more unnecessary chaos. "Does it hurt?"
"Uh, no..." you trail off.
"This might sting..." he tells you as he brought the damp cloth to the cut, instantly hissing at the tender sensation despite his warning. "Sorry," he murmurs remorsefully.
"Don't apologize. It was my fault."
"No, it wasn't. You tripped." he reassures dismissively, letting the conversation die rather than feud over it.
The dynamic between you and Rafe was contentious, the two of you always bickering and getting under each other's skin. However, that wasn't the energy you were feeling right now. If anything, it felt a bit charged. Not missing the way his devious smirk reemerged on his lips as he cleaned the gash, the prolonged silence only making you more uneasy.
"What?"
"Only you would manage to get hurt when I'm trying to teach you how to protect yourself." he patronizes, snickering to himself.
You tore yourself out of his grasp, touching the bloody spot and deciding you'd just handle it yourself in the bathroom. Not in the mood to deal with whatever mind games he was playing at. His reflexes were still quicker than yours as he blocked you from getting up.
"Stop being difficult and just let me," he asserts. Not anticipating for him to take your chin to halt your tantrum, his face just a few inches from yours. "Please."
His glance flickered between your eyes and mouth, noting a shift in his expression—one you'd never seen before. Keeping your own on anything but him, no longer able to trust yourself to not do something you know you'll regret. Finding yourself softening under his wary gaze, against your better judgment.
"Why are you helping me?" you finally decide to ask him, the question coming out almost sheepishly.
"Seriously?" he replies, almost seeming offended. "Other than the fact that I was genuinely trying to do you a favour and show you how to defend yourself, and you ended up with a busted lip instead? Maybe I'm just not as much of an asshole as you'd like to believe."
"Wow, and they say chivalry is dead." you feign, falling back into your usual banter.
"Would it really kill you to just be nice to me for a few minutes?" he comments sarcastically, not giving you much room to argue.
"Thanks, I guess." you concede, his signature grin reappearing.
"Sorry, I missed that." he exaggerates, turning his ear towards you to repeat yourself.
"You're such a pain in the ass." you grumble, crossing your arms. "Thank you."
He finished treating the wound, squeezing out some healing cream onto his finger and brushing it across the sensitive area. Your lips parting at the intimate gesture, your eyelids fluttering shut. Keeping them closed to avoid facing the bitter truth that you didn't totally hate being in this compromising position with Rafe.
"At least now you got some battle scars, so no more thugs will mess with you." he declares.
"You can't help yourself." you scold.
"What? I'm just fucking around." he averts, thrown off by your change in demeanor.
"That's the thing with you, Rafe. Do you take anything seriously?" you proclaim, jumping back to your feet and fiddling to shove the gloves back on.
"Yes?"
"You're stubborn and aggravating, and always fuckingaround. You definitely don't take me seriously-"
"What are you even talking about?"
"That's the whole reason I'm here, right? Another free pass so you can give me shit?" you blindly accuse, temper flaring.
"Fuck, do you ever shut up?" he seethes in frustration, caging you in against the ropes as he towered over your figure.
"Move," you demand, nudging the barrier he'd created around you.
"Calm down," he urges you, as if his domineering stance wasn't partially to blame for your distress.
"Rafe," you huff, trying to escape his scrutiny when he suddenly placed his hands on your shoulders and pinned you back.
"I said calm down." he reiterates.
His piercing glare acted like another physical restraint, simultaneously making you confront the conflicting desires you'd suppressed towards him for years. It was just the easier choice—not wanting to involve yourself with someone so unpredictable or cross the boundary that was your best friend's older brother.
"Why don't you think I take you seriously?" he investigates, surprised that was what he'd hung onto from your rant.
"Are you kidding me right now?" you counter. "You've never been nice to me since I became friends with Sarah."
"Only because you're a fucking know-it-all," he contends, recognizing the teasing in his voice. "Do you think I'd do this for any of the other clowns Sarah hangs around?"
You didn't know what to say to that, trying not to focus on certain details throughout the years. How he'd always been more impartial to you compared to the rest of the group you were usually with. Assuming the pleasantries he'd occasionally throw your way were just another attempt to get on your nerves.
"You make it so easy to rile you up, princess." he remarks, taking the large gloves that were acting like a barrier between you and slipping them off your hands. "And don't try to tell me you don't like it either."
"I... I don't." you falter.
He took your chin and turned you back towards him, but this time there was no reason for it—caressing your jaw and studying you like some priceless piece of art. It was unsettling, the speed at which he was able to switch from tough and threatening to gentle and vigilant. Knowing you'd never seen this side of him in all the years you'd known his sister.
"Try again." he mutters, not letting you get away so fast.
"I don't, Rafe." you insist, trying to keep your tone steady but still lacking conviction—just enough to give you away.
"Then why haven't you pushed me off yet?" he boasts.
"I-" you stutter, considering your next words carefully. "You still haven't taught me shit." you maintain, knowing your response was weak as it came out.
"What's got you so quiet, hm?" he interrogates, basking in your discomfort.
"You're insufferable, do you know that?"
"Maybe. But you still haven't moved."
That's when his lips grazed yours delicately, almost questioning if it was a hallucination. Only knowing it wasn't because of the dull ache from his direct contact on your fresh injury. His icy blue eyes meeting yours in challenge, as if he was daring you to take the inevitable next step. As if he was waiting for your permission.
It felt like you were hit by a tidal wave when you finally kissed him, the faint taste of blood reaching your senses but you were so absorbed by him to even care. Rafe using his tongue to soothe the ripped flesh as he slipped it into your mouth. All of your resistance towards him being disarmed as he kissed you like he'd been wanting to forever.
One of his hands snaked to the bottom of your scalp, threading through your hair; the other sliding to your lower back and pulling you against him. Cradling you to his large physique like he didn't want to let you stray too far, not that you wanted to. While his actions were just as meticulous as his teaching style had been earlier, his execution was still raw and impassioned.
"Are you gonna keep being difficult? Or are you gonna listen to me like a good girl?" he grills hoarsely.
"Are you gonna make it worth my while?" you retort smartly, not wanting to fully surrender control.
He just chuckled as he nestled his face into the crook of your neck, the sound making your stomach twist, something you weren't used to feeling in his presence. Extending your nape as he placed a sloppy peck on your skin, lingering to make sure he'd left a mark. The disdain you'd always held towards him now somehow coming off as charming.
"Relax," he cooed, squeezing your waist before yanking your top off.
He discarded the shirt elsewhere, kissing down your torso and along the waistband of your spandex. Hooking his thumbs into the stretchy fabric, peering up at you as he licked his lips, your heart racing in anticipation. Leaving you exposed and disheveled in the middle of the gym, resting on the ropes to find some sort of stability.
"Shit... Can't believe I've kept my hands to myself this long around you," he mused, skimming through your wetness.
"Please Rafe." you whisper, as if the hushed volume of your voice somehow made it all seem less legitimate.
"Can't hear you, princess." he goads, not tearing his gaze from you. You didn't want to give in to his endless provoking, but it was as if he was coaxing it right out of you.
"Rafe, please." you echo, anguish evident from your tone.
"That's it, baby..." he praises, letting two of his digits slip inside you without any warning. "You always this wet around me?"
You instantly melted into his touch, like you were a puppet and he knew the exact strings he needed to pull. Rafe taking advantage of your disoriented state and kissing you again fiercely, the hostility that had built over the years boiling over and getting channeled into your embrace. Grabbing your thigh and hooking it around his waist to give himself better access to you, bringing you into a deeper lust.
He added another finger, immediately giving away that your climax was close as you clenched around him. And then right when your pleasure was about to hit, he withdrew them. A choked whine leaving your throat as he brought them up to his mouth, not daring to tear his attention from you.
"What the fuck?" you protest breathlessly.
Without a word, he took your extended leg, scooping you up with ease and wrapping you around his frame. Bringing you to the middle of the ring and laying you on the ground, looming over you again as he stripped off his pants. Straddling your bottom half, leaving you dumbfounded by how big he was as he pumped himself a few times.
"Told you if you came here, we do this my way. Arms up," he instructs.
As you stretched them over your head, Rafe took both your wrists and held you down. Your heart racing when you realized what he was doing, squirming as you felt him drag himself between your puffy folds. Rocking against him to create any extra friction as he continued to tease you as much as he could, surely revenge for your coldness towards him over the years.
"What's wrong, baby?" he mocks. "Tell me what you want."
"Need you..." you divulge, being met with Rafe's condescending laugh at your pathetic plea.
"You've made that pretty obvious, but that's not gonna be enough right now." he specifies, knowing what he ultimately wanted to hear and too far gone to keep denying yourself of him.
"Please, Rafe. Need you to fuck me." you confess, shuddering when you felt his fat tip circle your core.
"You had a change of heart or something? Not used to you being so nice to me," he revels smugly. "But since you asked so nicely."
You gasped as he slowly buried himself into you, fluttering around him as soon as he sunk into you. Keeping his motions steady and unhurried on purpose, clearly holding back from outwardly demolishing you right away.
You were already close to your high from his initial build-up, falling back into your bliss as he picked up a consistent flow, trembling as he started playing with your swollen clit. The hand he'd bounded you with loosening the more he lost himself in the essence of you.
"Is that why you've always been such a brat? Wanted me to do something about it? Shut you up myself?" he spits.
You clutched his face as his lips found yours again, unable to conceal how enamored you'd become by him. Losing your composure as his hips snapped into you, gawking at how his cock disappeared with every plunge into you. His athletic figure overtaking you without difficulty, looking like he was some Adonis.
"Rafe, I-" you plead, too consumed to even tell him you were reaching your peak, not that he didn't pick up on it.
"Let it out," he grunts, his rhythm unrelentless.
Shockwaves surged through your system as you let out a loud cry, drenching him with your arousal. Rafe pecking across your collarbones and up your neck until he was back at your lips, swallowing every noise you made. The action much more tender than he'd been up until then.
"Turn over," he barks, barely straying from the kiss.
"W-what?" you stammer, still recovering from the first orgasm.
"You heard me. I'm not done with you yet." he reprimands, straightening his posture. "On your knees."
He nodded forward to emphasize his command, eagerly awaiting what he'd do next. Moaning when he pawed at your backside and yanked you closer, not refraining as his palm glided across the flesh. Only noticing that you were facing the row of mirrors that covered one of the walls as you peered up.
He started hammering into you from behind, his technique now rougher from his new angle. You soaked in his reflection, observing how his torso flexed with every thrust, only becoming more turned on by the lewd scene unfolding in the mirror. Drunk off the sensation of Rafe, already knowing this wouldn't be a one-time thing.
"I think I prefer you this way, princess." he purrs into your ear, smacking your ass one more time. "Too fucked out to open that big mouth of yours."
His movements got hastier, but he still managed to pound at angles he hadn't from your previous position. Gripping your waist roughly as he slammed into you, effortlessly hitting your g-spot with every grind of his hips. In disbelief that the man that was fucking you into oblivion was the same guy that you'd written off for so long.
"You gonna cum for me again?" he gloats, lowering his face to hover beside yours.
"Please, Rafe..." you beg, holding his piercing gaze in the mirror, his warmth radiating onto you.
"Who knew you were so damn polite?" he snides, striking your rear one last time. "Gonna let me ruin that pretty pussy?" he growls, mewling desperately at his filthy declaration.
With a few more pumps, he filled you with his own release, not stopping until he was fully satisfied. Coming undone again yourself as he pushed you back over your edge, the only sound filling the silent gym being heavy panting. Your head dropping in front of you as you caught your breath, whimpering when you felt him pull out.
Reality hit you like a ton of bricks as you finally registered what had just happened. Still clouded in your daze as he left featherlight pecks up your spine, doing your best to ignore the sweet gesture. Unsure how to even go forward, regret swiftly replacing your once insatiable hunger, blaming the moment on pure weakness.
"Hey," you hear Rafe utter, meeting his eyes through the reflection. "I can already see those cogs turning, baby..."
"I just..." you hesitate, trying to find the right thing to say when you'd barely processed what was going on.
"You just what, hm?" he drawls, turning your head towards him as he captured your lips with his.
"You're fucking trouble, Cameron." you mumble, giggling softly at the sudden turn of circumstances.
"What? You didn't enjoy your workout?" He implies shamelessly. "Don't act like you weren't into it. And don't think I'm letting you get away so easily either." He playfully accosts you, toppling onto his back and making you squeal as he pulled you back on top of him, passionately kissing you again.
note: suuper long, suuuper dirty 🤭 i wish i was exaggerating when i say ive been editing this for like a month omfg sos my brain is actually rotted lmao. hope you guys like it!! i'm trying to actually write more since i've been making a lot of short-form content sooo please be kind bc i'm still trying to find my bearings again lolol🙈
#also isn’t this the fucking cutest divider omg !!!#divider by thecutestgrotto#rafe cameron#rafe cameron obx#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron fanfic#obx rafe cameron#outer banks fanfic#obx smut#obx fanfic#rc
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