#also isn’t this the fucking cutest divider omg !!!

[allertonhoe]

duking it out - rafe cameron (18+)

summary: when you almost get robbed after a night out, your best friend insists you learn some self-defence from her older brother, who happens to own a gym. you also can't stand each other, but what happens when the two of you are left to your own devices.

content warnings: original afab!reader, obx!universe, enemies to lovers, best friends brother, boxer!rafe, use of petnames (princess, baby), 18+ MDNI - smut, dom!rafe, dirty talk, fingering, spanking, unprotected p in v, minor use of restraint, mirror sex, reader hurts herself/blood tw, mentions of getting robbed/jumped (not by rafe lol), mentions of guns/pepper spray, angsty af

length: 4.2k words

"Will you at least promise me you'll consider it?"

"Sarah, no. I'm not-"

"You almost got mugged. It would give me some peace of mind." she disputes once again, looking at you wearily.

She wasn't exactly wrong. It was a few weeks back while you were walking through Figure 8 on your way home from another wild kegger on the beach. And in the early hours of the morning, the sun having barely risen, some masked Pogue took the opportunity to ambush you.

Luckily, you carried pepper spray on you for this specific reason, blasting it in the culprit's face and sprinting back to your place as fast as you could. But according to your best friend, you should be a bit more prepared if you ever ended up in worse circumstances, god forbid.

"Rafe!" she calls through the house, marching towards the kitchen without even checking to see if you were following. "Can you help me out with this?"

"What are you talking about?" he quizzes, scrunching his face in confusion.

"She doesn't think she needs to learn any self-defense." Sarah clarifies, earning a judgmental scoff from the older boy.

"That's fucking stupid." he corroborates, causing you to glare at him.

"Don't call me stupid." you pout, wishing your well-meaning best friend hadn't dragged her overbearing brother into another one of your predicaments.

Saying you and Rafe didn't get along was an understatement. You couldn't stand him. He was arrogant, and rude, and just completely unbearable. You didn't know how someone as kind and bubbly as Sarah was related to such a nightmare. And along with his dreadful personality, he had a bit of a bad reputation around the island.

Rumours swirled about how he'd been involved in shady business deals or that he was entangled with one of the island's most infamous and menacing gangs. Having gotten into his fair share of fights in high school, which led you back to why you were having this conversation in the first place.

"What? Would you rather I lied?" he taunts, unscrewing the cap of whatever sports drink he was holding and taking a sip.

"Enough." Sarah referees. "Besides, you told me you'd help."

"That was before I knew who it was." he antagonizes, not even sparing you a glance.

"Yeah. As much as I'd love an excuse to punch Rafe, I'll have to pass." you acknowledge in a rare moment of compromise.

"Didn't know you liked it rough," he insinuates, rolling your eyes at the innuendo.

"Please." Sarah turns back to you in a pleading manner. "Just some basic stuff. I just want to make sure you don't find yourself in a vulnerable situation again. I hate to agree with him, but it is stupid to turn down learning from, like, one of the best trainers on the island."

Rafe decided after high school that he'd channel his fury and aggressive energy into something more productive, opening his gym up a few years back. And unfortunately, you knew she was probably right. The boxing studio having become one of the hottest spots to work out in Figure 8.

"Don't look so excited, princess. A lot of girls would be jumping at the chance to get free coaching from me." he quips.

"You're not gonna drop this?" you purse your lips at Sarah, her agitation not easing at all. "Fine. Whatever."

"No, if we're doing this, we're doing it my way. My gym." Rafe interjects. "You're gonna be there tomorrow morning at 8. You're gonna come, you're gonna listen to what I tell you, and you're not gonna act like a brat because I'm doing this as a favor for Sarah. Got it?"

With a hesitant nod, the session was set for the next day to your contempt. You were met by the sound of grunts and rustling chains when you entered the facility, finding Rafe at the far side of the room battering a punching bag. Too focused to realize you'd walked in, giving you the opportunity to get a proper look at him.

He wore a fitted white tank and basketball shorts, his sun-kissed skin coated in a thin layer of sweat. His toned arms on full display for you to admire as they tensed every time he hit the cushioned equipment. His signature grimace settled on his features as he beat the hung-up gear like it was personal.

"Fuck," he curses, alarmed once he detected your presence. "Sorry. Have you been here long?" He shrugs off, going for a swig of water.

"Just a minute," you reveal, stepping further into the building, almost feeling as though you weren't supposed to be there.

"Is, uh, that what you're wearing, or were you gonna change?" he surveys, taking in the tight leggings and crop top that clung to you. You shook your head at his question, neither of you knowing how to proceed cordially.

"You don't have to do this, by the way," you mention, giving him one last out.

"Huh?"

"I get you're doing this for Sarah. I can tell her you did if you'd just rather I go..." you offer.

"What? Already trying to run?" he solicits, the typical friction between you arising once again. "I don't mind," he reinforces, relieving some of your apprehension. 

He advised that you stretch a bit first, reluctantly following his lead as he got into what you were sure was his standard routine, somewhat hopeless yourself when it came to working out. An R&B track playing lightly over the speakers, filling the uncomfortable quiet that hung between you two.

You found yourself fixed on Rafe longer than usual, blaming it on the fact that you were trying to mimic his agile movements. There was no denying he was attractive, another trait you found particularly irritating, but seeing him in his element gave you a whole new perspective. He looked incredibly chiseled, a stark contrast to the usual sight of him in shirts that hid his arms, noticing how swole his biceps were with every flex of his.

Once you were finished warming up, he led you towards the practice ring that sat at the back of the gym. Tossing you a pair of boxing gloves and discarding his tank to the side prior to ushering you onto the canvas. Circling the perimeter like he was a shark targeting his prey.

"Are you gonna walk around and stare at me all day, or actually teach me something useful?" you sassed, making him to stop in his tracks with a hardened expression. "I don't have all day, Rafe."

"What happened again?"

"I was, uh, walking home from that party on the beach a few weeks back, and some kid jumped out at me on my way home and tried taking my shit." you recount, Rafe frowning at the story.

"Have you ever learned any self-defense?" he inquires.

"Yeah, I pepper sprayed him and ran the fuck home." you explain, making him snicker.

"And when you don't have that on you?"

"I don't know. My keys? A gun?"

"A gun?" he remarks, amused by your answer.

"Yeah. I could get one of those small ones."

"Sounds like a solid plan, princess."

"I swear, if you're just gonna piss me off-"

"I told you when we agreed to this you can't stand around and bitch at me the entire time." he recalls, not appearing too impressed.

"Then teach me something."

"Fine, let's work on your reaction time."

"My reaction time is fine. I did fight him off." you refute, tired of the constant belittling.

"And how big was this guy? Was he 6'5 and huge, or some shrimpy Pogue that wasn't much taller than you?" he challenges, startled at how accurate the latter description was of your attacker. "You might not get that lucky next time around."

You let him take over from there, watching as he continued walking around the platform menacingly, almost sizing you up in a way. Like you were playing a dangerous game of cat and mouse. Like there was a hint of something almost suggestive hanging in the air between you.

In any other scenario, you probably would've laughed at how he was stalking towards you. Abruptly diving out to snatch you from the side, making you whip around and instinctively throwing your hands in front of you. Not giving him a chance to grab you properly. Seeming satisfied with your efforts, he stepped back to the edge of the ring to launch into the  next drill.

It all happened so fast. He rushed towards you from behind, your initial impulse being to turn and lunge the other way, not realizing your shoelace had untied. You were in the air for a few seconds, tripping face-first into the mats. An ache immediately rising as you peeled yourself off the floor, almost missing how Rafe was at your side without delay, concern etched on his features.

"Shit."

He scanned you for injuries, quick to fuss over your condition while you were just trying to adjust to his sudden worry towards you. As you caught your breath, it hitched again when he reached out and held your cheek. Growing nervous when you saw his focus drift to your mouth.

"You're bleeding..." he notes, his thumb swiping over your bottom lip. "Don't move."

He dashed over to snag the first-aid kit and hurried back over, chucking it on the ground beside you. Taking your wrists and unfastening the padded protection covering your fists, doing the same with the other. He searched through the small bag, ripping open an antiseptic wipe as he assessed the wound.

"Sit down." he requested, complying to his instruction since you didn't want to cause any more unnecessary chaos. "Does it hurt?"

"Uh, no..." you trail off.

"This might sting..." he tells you as he brought the damp cloth to the cut, instantly hissing at the tender sensation despite his warning. "Sorry," he murmurs remorsefully.

"Don't apologize. It was my fault."

"No, it wasn't. You tripped." he reassures dismissively, letting the conversation die rather than feud over it.

The dynamic between you and Rafe was contentious, the two of you always bickering and getting under each other's skin. However, that wasn't the energy you were feeling right now. If anything, it felt a bit charged. Not missing the way his devious smirk reemerged on his lips as he cleaned the gash, the prolonged silence only making you more uneasy.

"What?"

"Only you would manage to get hurt when I'm trying to teach you how to protect yourself." he patronizes, snickering to himself.

You tore yourself out of his grasp, touching the bloody spot and deciding you'd just handle it yourself in the bathroom. Not in the mood to deal with whatever mind games he was playing at. His reflexes were still quicker than yours as he blocked you from getting up.

"Stop being difficult and just let me," he asserts. Not anticipating for him to take your chin to halt your tantrum, his face just a few inches from yours. "Please."

His glance flickered between your eyes and mouth, noting a shift in his expression—one you'd never seen before. Keeping your own on anything but him, no longer able to trust yourself to not do something you know you'll regret. Finding yourself softening under his wary gaze, against your better judgment.

"Why are you helping me?" you finally decide to ask him, the question coming out almost sheepishly.

"Seriously?" he replies, almost seeming offended. "Other than the fact that I was genuinely trying to do you a favour and show you how to defend yourself, and you ended up with a busted lip instead? Maybe I'm just not as much of an asshole as you'd like to believe."

"Wow, and they say chivalry is dead." you feign, falling back into your usual banter.

"Would it really kill you to just be nice to me for a few minutes?" he comments sarcastically, not giving you much room to argue.

"Thanks, I guess." you concede, his signature grin reappearing.

"Sorry, I missed that." he exaggerates, turning his ear towards you to repeat yourself.

"You're such a pain in the ass." you grumble, crossing your arms. "Thank you."

He finished treating the wound, squeezing out some healing cream onto his finger and brushing it across the sensitive area. Your lips parting at the intimate gesture, your eyelids fluttering shut. Keeping them closed to avoid facing the bitter truth that you didn't totally hate being in this compromising position with Rafe.

"At least now you got some battle scars, so no more thugs will mess with you." he declares.

"You can't help yourself." you scold.

"What? I'm just fucking around." he averts, thrown off by your change in demeanor.

"That's the thing with you, Rafe. Do you take anything seriously?" you proclaim, jumping back to your feet and fiddling to shove the gloves back on.

"Yes?"

"You're stubborn and aggravating, and always fuckingaround. You definitely don't take me seriously-"

"What are you even talking about?"

"That's the whole reason I'm here, right? Another free pass so you can give me shit?" you blindly accuse, temper flaring.

"Fuck, do you ever shut up?" he seethes in frustration, caging you in against the ropes as he towered over your figure.

"Move," you demand, nudging the barrier he'd created around you.

"Calm down," he urges you, as if his domineering stance wasn't partially to blame for your distress.

"Rafe," you huff, trying to escape his scrutiny when he suddenly placed his hands on your shoulders and pinned you back.

"I said calm down." he reiterates.

His piercing glare acted like another physical restraint, simultaneously making you confront the conflicting desires you'd suppressed towards him for years. It was just the easier choice—not wanting to involve yourself with someone so unpredictable or cross the boundary that was your best friend's older brother.

"Why don't you think I take you seriously?" he investigates, surprised that was what he'd hung onto from your rant.

"Are you kidding me right now?" you counter. "You've never been nice to me since I became friends with Sarah."

"Only because you're a fucking know-it-all," he contends, recognizing the teasing in his voice. "Do you think I'd do this for any of the other clowns Sarah hangs around?"

You didn't know what to say to that, trying not to focus on certain details throughout the years. How he'd always been more impartial to you compared to the rest of the group you were usually with. Assuming the pleasantries he'd occasionally throw your way were just another attempt to get on your nerves.

"You make it so easy to rile you up, princess." he remarks, taking the large gloves that were acting like a barrier between you and slipping them off your hands. "And don't try to tell me you don't like it either."

"I... I don't." you falter.

He took your chin and turned you back towards him, but this time there was no reason for it—caressing your jaw and studying you like some priceless piece of art. It was unsettling, the speed at which he was able to switch from tough and threatening to gentle and vigilant. Knowing you'd never seen this side of him in all the years you'd known his sister.

"Try again." he mutters, not letting you get away so fast.

"I don't, Rafe." you insist, trying to keep your tone steady but still lacking conviction—just enough to give you away.

"Then why haven't you pushed me off yet?" he boasts.

"I-" you stutter, considering your next words carefully. "You still haven't taught me shit." you maintain, knowing your response was weak as it came out.

"What's got you so quiet, hm?" he interrogates, basking in your discomfort.

"You're insufferable, do you know that?"

"Maybe. But you still haven't moved."

That's when his lips grazed yours delicately, almost questioning if it was a hallucination. Only knowing it wasn't because of the dull ache from his direct contact on your fresh injury. His icy blue eyes meeting yours in challenge, as if he was daring you to take the inevitable next step. As if he was waiting for your permission.

It felt like you were hit by a tidal wave when you finally kissed him, the faint taste of blood reaching your senses but you were so absorbed by him to even care. Rafe using his tongue to soothe the ripped flesh as he slipped it into your mouth. All of your resistance towards him being disarmed as he kissed you like he'd been wanting to forever.

One of his hands snaked to the bottom of your scalp, threading through your hair; the other sliding to your lower back and pulling you against him. Cradling you to his large physique like he didn't want to let you stray too far, not that you wanted to. While his actions were just as meticulous as his teaching style had been earlier, his execution was still raw and impassioned.

"Are you gonna keep being difficult? Or are you gonna listen to me like a good girl?" he grills hoarsely.

"Are you gonna make it worth my while?" you retort smartly, not wanting to fully surrender control.

He just chuckled as he nestled his face into the crook of your neck, the sound making your stomach twist, something you weren't used to feeling in his presence. Extending your nape as he placed a sloppy peck on your skin, lingering to make sure he'd left a mark. The disdain you'd always held towards him now somehow coming off as charming.

"Relax," he cooed, squeezing your waist before yanking your top off.

He discarded the shirt elsewhere, kissing down your torso and along the waistband of your spandex. Hooking his thumbs into the stretchy fabric, peering up at you as he licked his lips, your heart racing in anticipation. Leaving you exposed and disheveled in the middle of the gym, resting on the ropes to find some sort of stability.

"Shit... Can't believe I've kept my hands to myself this long around you," he mused, skimming through your wetness.

"Please Rafe." you whisper, as if the hushed volume of your voice somehow made it all seem less legitimate.

"Can't hear you, princess." he goads, not tearing his gaze from you. You didn't want to give in to his endless provoking, but it was as if he was coaxing it right out of you.

"Rafe, please." you echo, anguish evident from your tone.

"That's it, baby..." he praises, letting two of his digits slip inside you without any warning. "You always this wet around me?"

You instantly melted into his touch, like you were a puppet and he knew the exact strings he needed to pull. Rafe taking advantage of your disoriented state and kissing you again fiercely, the hostility that had built over the years boiling over and getting channeled into your embrace. Grabbing your thigh and hooking it around his waist to give himself better access to you, bringing you into a deeper lust.

He added another finger, immediately giving away that your climax was close as you clenched around him. And then right when your pleasure was about to hit, he withdrew them. A choked whine leaving your throat as he brought them up to his mouth, not daring to tear his attention from you.

"What the fuck?" you protest breathlessly.

Without a word, he took your extended leg, scooping you up with ease and wrapping you around his frame. Bringing you to the middle of the ring and laying you on the ground, looming over you again as he stripped off his pants. Straddling your bottom half, leaving you dumbfounded by how big he was as he pumped himself a few times.

"Told you if you came here, we do this my way. Arms up," he instructs.

As you stretched them over your head, Rafe took both your wrists and held you down. Your heart racing when you realized what he was doing, squirming as you felt him drag himself between your puffy folds. Rocking against him to create any extra friction as he continued to tease you as much as he could, surely revenge for your coldness towards him over the years.

"What's wrong, baby?" he mocks. "Tell me what you want."

"Need you..." you divulge, being met with Rafe's condescending laugh at your pathetic plea.

"You've made that pretty obvious, but that's not gonna be enough right now." he specifies, knowing what he ultimately wanted to hear and too far gone to keep denying yourself of him.

"Please, Rafe. Need you to fuck me." you confess, shuddering when you felt his fat tip circle your core.

"You had a change of heart or something? Not used to you being so nice to me," he revels smugly. "But since you asked so nicely."

You gasped as he slowly buried himself into you, fluttering around him as soon as he sunk into you. Keeping his motions steady and unhurried on purpose, clearly holding back from outwardly demolishing you right away.

You were already close to your high from his initial build-up, falling back into your bliss as he picked up a consistent flow, trembling as he started playing with your swollen clit. The hand he'd bounded you with loosening the more he lost himself in the essence of you.

"Is that why you've always been such a brat? Wanted me to do something about it? Shut you up myself?" he spits.

You clutched his face as his lips found yours again, unable to conceal how enamored you'd become by him. Losing your composure as his hips snapped into you, gawking at how his cock disappeared with every plunge into you. His athletic figure overtaking you without difficulty, looking like he was some Adonis.

"Rafe, I-" you plead, too consumed to even tell him you were reaching your peak, not that he didn't pick up on it.

"Let it out," he grunts, his rhythm unrelentless.

Shockwaves surged through your system as you let out a loud cry, drenching him with your arousal. Rafe pecking across your collarbones and up your neck until he was back at your lips, swallowing every noise you made. The action much more tender than he'd been up until then.

"Turn over," he barks, barely straying from the kiss.

"W-what?" you stammer, still recovering from the first orgasm.

"You heard me. I'm not done with you yet." he reprimands, straightening his posture. "On your knees."

He nodded forward to emphasize his command, eagerly awaiting what he'd do next. Moaning when he pawed at your backside and yanked you closer, not refraining as his palm glided across the flesh. Only noticing that you were facing the row of mirrors that covered one of the walls as you peered up.

He started hammering into you from behind, his technique now rougher from his new angle. You soaked in his reflection, observing how his torso flexed with every thrust, only becoming more turned on by the lewd scene unfolding in the mirror. Drunk off the sensation of Rafe, already knowing this wouldn't be a one-time thing.

"I think I prefer you this way, princess." he purrs into your ear, smacking your ass one more time. "Too fucked out to open that big mouth of yours."

His movements got hastier, but he still managed to pound at angles he hadn't from your previous position. Gripping your waist roughly as he slammed into you, effortlessly hitting your g-spot with every grind of his hips. In disbelief that the man that was fucking you into oblivion was the same guy that you'd written off for so long.

"You gonna cum for me again?" he gloats, lowering his face to hover beside yours.

"Please, Rafe..." you beg, holding his piercing gaze in the mirror, his warmth radiating onto you.

"Who knew you were so damn polite?" he snides, striking your rear one last time. "Gonna let me ruin that pretty pussy?" he growls, mewling desperately at his filthy declaration.

With a few more pumps, he filled you with his own release, not stopping until he was fully satisfied. Coming undone again yourself as he pushed you back over your edge, the only sound filling the silent gym being heavy panting. Your head dropping in front of you as you caught your breath, whimpering when you felt him pull out.

Reality hit you like a ton of bricks as you finally registered what had just happened. Still clouded in your daze as he left featherlight pecks up your spine, doing your best to ignore the sweet gesture. Unsure how to even go forward, regret swiftly replacing your once insatiable hunger, blaming the moment on pure weakness.

"Hey," you hear Rafe utter, meeting his eyes through the reflection. "I can already see those cogs turning, baby..."

"I just..." you hesitate, trying to find the right thing to say when you'd barely processed what was going on.

"You just what, hm?" he drawls, turning your head towards him as he captured your lips with his.

"You're fucking trouble, Cameron." you mumble, giggling softly at the sudden turn of circumstances.

"What? You didn't enjoy your workout?" He implies shamelessly. "Don't act like you weren't into it. And don't think I'm letting you get away so easily either." He playfully accosts you, toppling onto his back and making you squeal as he pulled you back on top of him, passionately kissing you again.

note: suuper long, suuuper dirty 🤭 i wish i was exaggerating when i say ive been editing this for like a month omfg sos my brain is actually rotted lmao. hope you guys like it!! i'm trying to actually write more since i've been making a lot of short-form content sooo please be kind bc i'm still trying to find my bearings again lolol🙈

[breathing-and-writing]

Heyyyy, anybody wanna hear about the bi panic moment I had last Friday that could’ve outed me to my mom so much that I continue to be shaken about it and can’t stop thinking about it almost a week later???

I know nobody’s gonna say yes so I’ll just put it under the cut, cuz I really need to let it out.

You see, I do have friends that know I’m bi, but they’re straight and most of them know of the person I’m gonna be talking about so... no. For post purposes, I’ll be calling this person Dana.

Context about this Dana person first. I met her my first year of high school and then we were like friends but not really on the same friend group on the daily, though our groups got together sometimes... we’ve almost always been in the same class too. Since the beginning I’ve always thought she’s super cute, attractive, smart, and so so so kind and gentle (like omg I could never) such a good person, the goodest person. Obviously eventually I got like a tiny crush on her. And by tiny I mean tiny, cuz fortunately the logical and rational part of my brain still has some control because: a) she’s straight (I’m pretty sure at least) b) beginning of 2nd year of high school she got a boyfriend (they had had a thing going on since before and they are still together today, he’s a great person too and they are like the cutest couple ever like who even gave them the right-). So just no, just no (that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped finding her attractive because bro I have eyes). Anyways, when uni started she was one of the few people of high school that ended up studying the same thing as me and in the same school, so naturally we became part of the same group. And NOW that we’re no longer in the general business classes and have been divided into our respective specialization majors (mkt) she is the ONLY friend I have in class so we talk every day now.

Okay, so last Friday I was leaning back on my bed, scrolling through Instagram as you do and my mom was putting away clean clothes in my room and kinda relying on the bed as she did so. Anyways, I’m looking through the ig stories and I get to Dana’s and y’all- she got a haircut. Since I’ve known her she’s always worn it like about shoulder length but now she cut it short, like it just reaches her lips and she just looks so good and god damn attractive like wtf. And I couldn’t just be a normal supportive friend about it and just like leave a positive emoji reaction to her story and just move on-NO I had to start a whole fucking conversation with her about it and giving her compliments like wtf is wrong with me??? (This last thing isn’t very relevant to the story pero pos ya vengo encarrerada). Anyways I’m just there staring and admiring her pictures like the bi disaster idiot that I am and suddenly out of fucking nowhere I hear my mom say (like y’all I even forgot she was there like wtf is wrong with me?)(this interaction was all in spanish obvs)

“Why are you making that face?” 

“What face?”

“That little smirk, like you’re trying not to laugh.”

(Instant panic mode one) “Uhhh idk, idk what face you mean.”

“What are you looking at? That meme must be very good”

And that was it. THANKFULLY she assumed I was looking at memes, granted I do look at memes most of the time and most of the time when I laugh at my phone it’s a meme so it was a fair assumption to make. But BRO it was SO CLOSE like- I still had the pic open... What if she saw??? She was standing pretty close... Also, what face was I even making??? That remains a mystery to me am I really that transparent??? Is this crush like evolving like wtf is going on???? This would be like my first legit girl crush I’ve had (and the only one I’ve had these past few years) so I’m SO CONFUSED.

Also this is all so new to me??? Like I only came out to my bestie like in Dec or Jan idk though I’ve known for a few years??? And only came out to my other friend group like a month afterwards??? And like I’ve been thinking about telling my parents but ughhhhhhhhh. I mean I’m 100% sure they wouldn’t hate me because I have other queer cousins on my dad’s side of the family and everything on that front is fine (my dad’s side of the family is super chill about it too so idek what I’m agonizing about). Maybe because I’m just like the biggest introvert and most closed and shy member of the family??? Anyways the thing that worries me the most (more like the only thing that worries me?) is my mom and her side of the family, because they are more conservative and religious overall. Like I know they love me and ide have potential partners nor know anyone (boy or girl) that I would potentially like to be with so really for now there’s no reason to panic but it’s in the back of my mind constantly.

Also the other day I literally told my dad about how beautiful I find Dua Lipa and how amazing she is, I 100% meant it in the physical way he already knows I love her music, like I used hermosa (beautiful/gorgeous) and he didn’t catch on??? Idk what other kind of hint he wants to figure it out.

[speaknvw]

reputation - album review

insp. by outofthewoods, i’m gonna do a full review of the album during my first time listening to it :) even tho no one’s gonna read this

i’m lowkey comparing it to red because of the amount of people from secret sessions saying it’s better than red and red has been my favorite since well.. 2012

and i’m gonna include my rankings at the end

…READY FOR IT

(i think this only fits as the first track because i don’t see where else it would fit in with the album)

personally only like the chorus of this song but i 100% stan the music video of course and my WIG flew //

END GAME

BITHC DFJSJKFHD i personally love taylor’s parts and i of course love ed’s parts although this is quite a contrast to everything has changed, but nonetheless i love the beat and i love the concept of the song.

“i swear i don’t love drama, it loves me” my WIG MF FLEW MISS SWIFT.

//

I DID SOMETHING BAD

“if a man talks shit then i owe him nothing” OH YES HONEY. THDJSHVJKSDC THIS SONG IS GIVING ME GOOSEBUMPS SIS THE CHORUS HAS ME QUAKING ALL THE WAY TO PLUTO.

THE BEAT DROP DURING THE CHORUS GIVES ME EVEN MORE GOOSEBUMPS EVERYTIME IT PLAYS IF THATS EVEN POSSIBLE DJFSJDK

THIS IS 100% ON MY TOP 5 FOR BOPS. I’D BOP TO THIS EVERYDAY. AND THE BRIDGE EHFSFJEHUKJK

//

DON’T BLAME ME

“don’t blame me love made me crazy” honey… it made all of us crazy

idk for some reason the lyrics remind me of bey? i’m not really sure why

i ADORE HER VOICE IN THIS SONG.

i’m not really sure how i really overall feel about this song but i love the vocals in this song and i feel if i listened more closely to the lyric’s i could stan it more

//

DELICATE

the beginning. omg. imogen vibes??? yes. 

THE MF BEAT HSJKHEUWHERENJWKEK

OMGFDJKFS THE PRE-CHORUS FCUK ME???? DEADASS BYE

ISN’T IT DELICATE

“stay here i don’t wanna share” sdjfsdfhjuhfn i wanna cry because of that

“I PRETEND YOU’RE MINE ALL THE DAMN TIME” THAT’S THR BIGGEST MOOD KFJSKND

this song is def calmer than the rest of these songs

//

LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO

i remember when this dropped and how shook i was

and i remember shaking when the chorus came on bC JDSKFK

I CAN ALREADY TELL THIS IS GONNA HAVE SOME BOMB ASS CHOREO ON TOUR

i can def see why this was chosen to be the first/comeback single because of what the concept of the song is (i mean i think everyone does)

and from this song i was kinda expecting an album about well.. her reputation.. i guess?? but after the other two singles i wasn’t too sure what was coming BUT

NONETHELESS i adore this song and it honestly feels a little short in comparison to the rest

//

SO IT GOES…

in the beginning i was a little iffy about the chorus but i love the verses.

“i make all your grey days clear” “I’m so chill but you make me jealous”

“but I got your heart skipping when i’m gone”

WOW MISS SWIFT REALLY MADE MY WIG FLY WITH THESE LINES. NGL.

but listening to these lyrics help realize how the chorus fits in

side note: when i first saw the track list i honestly thought of you are in love (which is my favorite song from 1989) and the verse where she says “and so it goes, you two are dancing in a snow globe round and round”)

//

GORGEOUS

i love the concept of this song but i don’t know if i LOVE it,, does that make any sense??

and i loved reading people’s posts on twitter/tumblr about their conspiracy theories of this song

and i relate to this song when i see ppl who r beautiful but i’m too much of a pussy to say shit to them

and i wish i knew why she chose this as a single

//

GETAWAY CAR

wow. just wow. THSEJFEHNRJRE THE FUKCJNGJBN BEGINNING OH MYOOGFDI I WANNA CRY

THIS SOBNG IS SO GOOD WOW

“i wanted to leave him, i needed a reason” 

THE FUCKING CHORUS I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT

I LOVE THE VIBES THIS SONG GIVES OFF

THE TYPE OF MUSIC ID LISTEN TO DURING A ROADTRIP TBH?? AND NOT JUST BC OF THE TITLE

but wow i love her voice in this song jsjfnejr it reminds me of something but i can’t put my finger on it

“there were sirens in the beat of your heart” oH MY GOD this line. 

THE BRIDGE WOW IM LITERALLY IN TEARS RIGHR NOW

THINK ABOUT THE WHERE PLACE YOU FIRST MET ME

NO NOTHING GOOD STARTS IN A GETAWAY CAR

//

KING OF MY HEART

i love the beginning fuckfjd<3 though i.. don’t exactly like the beat but i do like the lyrics and i love how she told the ppl at ss how each lyric is a diff stage of her relationship. i love how she did that.

the chorus reminds me of getaway car a bit

change my priorities wow

i don’t know i just don’t really connect w this song but i think some of the lyrics are cute and soft like old taylor :)

//

DANCING WITH OUR HANDS TIED

the piano oh?? THE BEAT OH???

JDSJDFSB THE LYRICS OH MY GOD

“deep blue but you painted me golden / oh and you held me close / ooh how was i to know” HSKJFWEH WOWOWWOOW

I HAD A BAD FEELING

QUEEN TAYLOR IS SHAKING ME

i loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us

i love.

//

DRESS

“they got no idea about me and you” wow you right.. we didn’t have any idea sis :( 

I LOVE HER VOICE IN THE BEGINNING BABY YES TAYLOR

only bought this dress so you could take it off

anyone thinks that they know us but they know nothing about all of this silence and patience panic and anticipation my hands are shaking from holding back from you

I honestly love how this song is about sex lmao

nonetheless i love the beat and feel of this song:)

AND THE BRIDGE TOOK MY BREATH AWAY. i would say wig flew but she took that during the first 3 seconds of end game

//

THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS

okay the beginning,, i thought it was an ad so imma be honest and say i don’t like the beginning

this song gives me the vibe of we are young by fun., is it just me?? idk but that’s what i thought of during the verses vs the chorus you know??

if only you weren’t so shady,, this is why we can’t have nice things

ALRIGHT I LOVE HOW SHE DEDICATES THAT PART OF THE SONG TO PEOPLE WHERE SHES LIKE:

HERE’S A TOAST TO MY REAL FRIENDS WHO DON’T CARE ABOUT THE HE SAID SHE SAID

AND HERE’S TO MY BAAABYY (i love the way she says baby in this song it’s deadass so adorable) HE AIN’T READING WHAT THEY CALL ME LATELY

AND HERE’S TO MY MAMA HAD TO LISTEN TO ALL THIS DRAMA

AND HERE’S TO YOU BECAUSE FORGIVENESS IS A NICE THING TO DO– HAHAHA I CAN’T EVEN SAY THAT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE

I LOVE IT. I STAN. 

this song is so cute tbh

//

CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT

alright alright alright,, the fourth single of rep. probably my favorite single.

i love the contrast from this is why we can’t have nice things

and this song is so cuteeee and i love how she stays calling him her baby,, it’s the cutest thing and makes my heart go [<3<3<3]

and i know i make the same mistakes every time bridges burn i never learn at least i did one thing right lmao that line lowkey broke my heart 

this is the type of song you listen to when you’re in love tbh it’s so cute and the lyrics r like old taylor and i love it

not because he owns me, but because he really knows me

LOVES ME LIKE IM BRAND NEW I adore that lyric

//

NEW YEAR’S DAY

this song is so cute wow. it’s so different from the rest of the album though and i feel like it’d be a deluxe song, but NONETHELESS IM IN LOVE WITH THIS SONG WOW

squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi

please don’t ever become a stranger whose laugh i can recognize anywhere

this song is deadass so cute oh my god i love how she shows her soft side in this song

HOLD ON TO THESE MEMORIES

that reminded me of long live oh my god i’m trying not to get emo ab that

CANDLE WAX AND POLAROIDS ON THE HARDWOOD FLOOR - YOU AND ME FOREVERMORE

this is the most og taylor swift song on the album and the type of song that captured my heart all those years ago and wow. i just love it.

//

overall i love this album more than i thought i would because,, well to be quite honest i kind of grew apart 1989 and thought this would just push me away further but it definitely did not. no, it’s not your typical taylor swift cheesy heartbreak songs, but it’s different and that’s what i love about it. is it better than red? once i get more into the lyrics and the concepts behind all of the songs i think i’ll determine my opinion on that.

one thing i really loved about this album is how it’s not just about her heartbreak and the hell and the pain she’s been through with the last relationship she was in (of course there’s that in this album but it’s so much more), it’s also about her well, reputation, and how she feels in her current one. i can tell how happy she is right now and i can already feel her smiles through the songs, the smiles she probably had during the recording of this album.

i love the change of style that came out of the 3 year hiatus

and now here’s my rankings (for now at least)

- getaway car

- i did something bad 

- delicate

- dress

- dancing with our hands tied

- new year’s day

- king of my heart 

- don’t blame me

- end game

- call it what you want

- gorgeous

- ready for it

- this is why we can’t have nice things

- so it goes

- look what you made me do