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jazzzhd · 6 months

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Rant in tags with suicide mention

#im struggling a lot today #i just keep thinking about my grandma and how she refused to help me in this hopeless situation #she has a huge house with three open bedrooms and a whole basement and she refused to let us stay with her #because she wants her new fucking boyfriend to move in with her #and now im out over $2000 for staying a month in this shitty fucking hotel room #when that money could have went towards permanent housing if only she had let us stay a month or two and figure it out #i already cut contact with her when she said she wouldnt let us stay with her #but all day today i cant stop thinking about it. i thought she fucking cared about me but apparently she cares more about a guy #that shes known for maybe 2 years?#combined with the suicidal thiughts i have #i just cant stop thinking about committing and what i would say to her before doing so #i cant stop thinking that if i did commit if we become homeless that she could have easily prevented it #i just want to hurt her as much as she has hurt me #and i hate that. but im in the worst situation ive ever been in my life and she cant even help me by giving us money even #when all the rest of my family is doing everything they can #becuase weve wasted all our savings were going to have to stay here at least another month #but possibly even 2-3 more months #when we could have just taken a month or two at max to get things figured out and get permanent housing #i cant rationalize why she would not help us unless she doesnt give a shit about me #so honestly FUCK her. i told her she should never expect to hear from me again and i stand by that.

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kirby-the-gorb · 5 months

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#kirby #knife kirby #knives #kirby makes stuff #cursed image #daily kirby #my art #digital #hal laboratory #nintendo #y'all I was well enough to cut out the rest of the extra stickers that have been sitting on my desk since january.#I'll probably be listing the leftover stickers and prints from kirb2k on kofi tomorrow <3 #I'd only meant to do it 3 entire months ago :v #like I cannot fully convey just how incredibly ill I've been.#(I have a lot of extra stickers cuz I ordered 2 sheets of 14 individuals and they sent me 5 sheets for some reason I think)#also his eyes are weird cuz I just got a new bootleg kirby in the mail and he was even more jank than the product photos promised :D #(everything else I ordered has been as pictured so far so best possible outcomes all around lol)#honestly kinda mad that improving my condition was This Friggin Easy tbh #although thank god it has finally improved.#like the med we raised is available otc and I absolutely could've raised the dose myself if I wasn't too sick to think.#(we are still adding another med once the pharmacy fills the new prescription but even this is. night and day.)

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iamnoodnood · 4 months

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my durges (vharris and neried) and their partners

boy they will not get along ☝

#bg3 #my art #baldur's gate 3 #durge #the dark urge #tav bg3 #gale dekarios #astarion ancunin #good lord i started this almost 2 months ago #fuken finally it is finished #i still dont understand how to draw astarion #also i accidentally made their personalities similar with their partner #possibly even more extra #fanart #bg3 fanart #baldurs gate 3 #astarion #gale of waterdeep

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johnslittlespoon · 3 months

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GOOD AFTERNOON IT'S BIKERIDERS DAY OHOHH YEAH in 3 hrs i'm Sat

#WILL NOT BE POSTING SPOILERS TBC if i post any brainrot for the AU related to the movie i'll tag it as possible spoilers <3 #johnslittlespoon yaps #still very upset i was spoiled in the mf comments section of one of the official bikeriders posts a month ago but it's whatever it's fine #i'm so srs ab the notepad and pen btw i'm locked and loaded snacks hidden in my hoodie brainrot cap on ready 2 thirst #my mom and i have been on a 12 hr 'cleanse' where we've literally avoided sending each other the usual austin videos #her idea not mine LMFAO 'so we can be even more excited to see him in the movie!' 😭#but i'm just so excited for the movie in general and now seeing the reception for it has my hopes even higher #it's gonna be so good i can feel it i haven't been excited for a movie like this in ages

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oleander-comic · 3 months

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gang… im so sorry… this shit is NOT getting done in june

#WAUGH im literally not even done w the sketches. im gonna scream #my two summer classes start monday and its like. 3-4 chapters a week for both of them so #haha yeah uhhh #i feel like a major doofus im sorryyyyy i promise i havent lost like. interest in this au #but unfortunately im all tunnel vision on the ending and am slapping myself and reminding me im not even halfway done yet #its okay 🫡🫡🫡 july im coming for u #im also gonna have 5 classes and possibly a part time job in the fall also so like #maximum of 3-4 more updates this year soz #sorry 2 everyone who started reading when i was in my crazy bonkers update a month and neglecting my school work and personal health era

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deadmomjokes · 10 months

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Idk how me, a broad and chubby woman from a long line of broad and chubby women, and my husband, an average-height man from long lines of very tiny women and very average men, managed to produce a child so exceptionally tall, long, & lean that she can't wear store-bought clothes anymore without alteration. Yet here I am, dusting off a sewing machine I barely know how to operate....

#personal #this kid put on 2 inches in less than 3 months y'all #which is about how much she's supposed to grow in a YEAR at this age #while also somehow gaining no weight #i mean literally NONE #she even dropped an ounce overall #so no it wasn't my imagination that all her pants suddenly became too short #while simultaneously getting looser around the waist #and yes we're on top of the weight thing; she has a whole med team helping us out #it's cuz we finally found one of her EOE triggers so now she's eating more diversely and the inflammation is reducing #so her body is getting excited to go for all that growth it was putting off due to lack of nutrients and calories #same thing happened as an infant when she started PPIs for the first time #on my mama's grave she went from 50th percentile to 90th in less than a month #she also has a documented history of massive growth spurts every time her dosage gets upped to match her current size #the lack of weight gain is a bit worrisome tho so we're working on upping her calories as much as possible #but anyway #if anyone has tutorials on Learning To Make Kids Clothes for complete noobs let me know #cuz clothes cost too much for how much they DON'T fit her

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sovaghoul · 4 months

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Today was the day. I hope everything went according to plan. I wish I could have celebrated with you. Congratulations.

#i've been telling myself i'd give it the weekend before i got anxious #<- what a fun joke i told myself #i told you two months ago that re-establishing contact was up to you #i will abide by that but my heart is going to lean at insta and discord notifs again for a while #the way i see it there are five ways things could go from here:#1. we pick up where we left off #2. we're a couple again but take some number of steps back to rebuild #3. we're friends with the option for more #4. we're friends with no option for more #5. there's nothing between us anymore and we maintain/return to no contact once that's communicated (if it is at all)#although i'm hard pressed to believe you wouldn't contact me even with upsetting news #but i suppose anything's possible #i never expected to be here after all #but here we are #personal

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thedreadvampy · 1 year

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The hipsters are truly descending on Leith. I thought this flavour of waxed moustache striped shirt pocket watch and sunglasses Coolest Kids At The Warehouse Rave Mr B fucker died out in like 2012 but no they're everywhere. moustaches waxed up to the heavens tweed in 26° spring weather.

my going theory now is that this style of hipster is just an inevitable symptom of gentrification at any point in history. assume when Londinium was first becoming a metropolis it was beset by moustachioed men in pinstripe toga with pocket sundials. twats.

#red said #it's possible that my kneejerk reaction to hipsters is itself a 2012 hangover #BUT. COUNTERPOINT. I feel exactly as strongly about the previous rounds of Gentrification Symptoms #which is to say: a proliferation of grey-decor coffee shops with industrial lighting fittings selling £4 coffees (~6 years ago)#an onrush of pricy vintage shops and independent art galleries (~4 years ago)#a rise of plant shops and plant themed cafes all decorated with endless monstera (~2 years ago)#and the current realisation that i can't fucking get a fryup in more than 3 places on this street bc everywhere is a goddamn brunch spot #selling £8.50 eggs on toast #meanwhile most of the independent grocers are shutting there's no more greasy spoons #oh and rent in the area has Literally Doubled at the lowest end. a 2 bed used to be in the 450-600 pcm range #now almost everything even the kind of dive i was in for £550 is £1k+ a month #instead of building more affordable housing they're building more student housing #and the vibe has changed. like ppl used to be extremely drunk and high but also very nice and i never felt unsafe here #that's still true but it's getting less true

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bunnihearted · 1 year

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🚬🧸🧃🎀

#anyway so yeah im so sick of hating myself. of missing out on things and being too scared to go after things i want when i have the chance #so sick of almost being 25 and having spent almost 6 years alone in my room missing out on life #and my mom and sister might be moving in the not too distant future #so i have to try to get my life together for real now!!! or homelessness will be awaiting me :D #what i will try to do.. is start going to the gym (w my mom so i dont have to deal w the anxiety of an unknown place by myself sksk)#i'll workout 3-5 times a week. every week. i like going to the gym so if i just get started i dont have a doubt i'll not be able to do it #i'll focus on finishing my english class. hopefully in december even if i have the possibility to get it extended a few months #then i'll start my other 4 classes in january #i'll be patient and wait for my ultrasound and get the gallstone situation fixed (latest in january if i need surgery)#(and i have to try to make sure i eat properly so i dont wind up with b12 deficiency... i cant eat anything without pain but i have to..)#also i have an appt at the psychiatric in mid october. and im still waiting on what my healthcare center says. hopefully i can get cbt #if possible i will really really try to apply for jobs as a personal assistant sometime between january-may #if i have a job instead of being on wellfare i will 1) have way more money 2) not feel constabtly anxious abt being rejected and homeless #i'll stop caring abt me being 'old' and a late bloomer. the planet is dying. who cares if im 28 and start university????#i'll take my time to finish high school. and the thing is i really should get a job before starting higher vocational education #bc the program i want to start i HAVE to have a laptop. and theres no way i can afford that now. cant even save up to it #also need to find and put myself up on waiting lists for student housing/apartments so i can actually move #i hate this city and i need to get the fuck out of here!!!!#but the world is crazy rn and it's super hard to find places to live and find jobs but it's not impossible so i need to try #i cant live like this & i have no idea how tf i'll manage to be a normal person and have a life but i need to try bc what else am i gnna do?

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machidielontheway · 11 months

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there's water getting inside :(( from what i can gather it never happend before even after heavy rainy days, but here with the fucking storm it seems to have went a level above.

it's just 'a little' but this makes me anxious because the One Fear i have with this flat is to have to leave it because there will be work needed on the windows-full-outside-wall to make the flat safe / livable, and it is not work that can be done when somebody lives in it

#3615 my life #i mean it IS safe and liveable #for now.#i fear the whole wall will just come off and like i know it's not possible just like this #but also somebody lost a window in the building the first month i was here so like. yeah.#will have to contact my landlord tomorrow and send the pictures #not sure anything will be done because 1) it's a once in a year storm #2) there are already two windows that are blocked forever because the mechanism is dead or two touchy #3) this kind of thing you can only repair if you repair everything and that would be in the four numbers at least. so.#i would be even sadder knowing that i had the 'perfect flat' and not have done anything with it because i'm so slow at making a home #(to be fair i've never made one yet. it's a work in progress !!)#but yeah there will be the fine line where i can't accept water inside / it will need to be repaired for real #i hope it won't be for at least three or four years #not thinking about it more for tonight. tired. rice soup now

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alistairlowes · 1 year

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watching my company use the worst canva made designs known to man made by marketing department instead of using my suggestions because i'm just an "assistant" (they don't wanna promote me so they don't have to pay me more) despite technically being a senior designer with 10+ years of experience and definitely more experience than anyone working there cannot interfere it's a canon event

#just wish they didn't waste my time in the first place #like aight idc i'm still getting payed #but kinda sucks seeing smtn you worked hard on get dismissed just because you're not in the certain department #my boss told me to redesign something because previous was made by marketing and he thought it was bad #but new ones are also supposed to get approved by marketing #lmao #and they basically scolded us saying not to do cuz it's their job #when the only reason i was given that shit is because theirs was bad #at least boss forwarded them my message where i trashed their old design and said it was bad and doesn't even fit basic principles #hope they all read that <3 #and it's funny because it doesn't even have to do anything with promotion so idk why it's up to them #and they said they'll do it soon as possible when i sent them email 2 months ago to send me some logos and they said they still aren't done #so sick of people like that getting payed more than me #and i know i'm not like greatest designer but even my shittiest attempt are better than anything they do idc #ok ending #vtalks

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palms-upturned · 2 years

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#meg talks #feeling. sad kdgsdjxh #there’s a work christmas party tonight but #1) indoors 2) the whole district is invited 3) no mask policy #4) we’ve already had two covid cases at work in a row 5) it’s the holidays so It’s Only Gonna Get Worse #so i absolutely cannot afford to risk it #but. they’re doing karaoke. and i haven’t done karaoke in three years #and it’s stupid but im really sad bc i miss it and i really wanted to go but. nobody gives a shit anymore abt covid #or. y’know. about protecting high risk ppl #ppl said from the start that ‘’going back to normal’’ was just gonna mean moving on without disabled ppl #and forcing them back into either never going out or just suffering the consequences #and they were so right. nobody wants to make even the smallest efforts to make it possible for the sick and disabled to exist in public #we’re just collateral damage #not only our bodies but just like. our relationships. our joy.#not that that was ever not the case… sigh #just feeling v sad and lonely. we’re never coming out the other side of this are we #edit sorry im still not done. even more than long covid it’s like #i have no sick time left. and no space to quarantine myself. we’re three people living in a one bedroom apartment #living paycheck to paycheck! i can’t afford to miss work!#we barely managed to scrape by this month as it is! i don’t even know what to do abt xmas gifts…#like what are we supposed to do if we all get covid and can’t work? starve?#like. jdgsdjxh idk man. it makes me feel like my brain is leaking out of my ears #it’s like everyone who (assumed they) could just went ahead and moved on #as if covid is over #and left the rest of us just. sitting here alone #there’s just no solidarity anymore… idek what to do about it other than keep on. sitting at home alone

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fingertipsmp3 · 2 years

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I wonder if Taylor knows she’s releasing Speak Now TV tomorrow

#like i’m ngl i was kind of taken in by the theories at first as well but now i’m like.. it’s just not possible #we had surprise albums with folklore and evermore and sort of the 3am edition but i’d be amazed if she did it again #or released a tv as a surprise #considering how hyped red & fearless tvs were & the fact that fearless tv got singles beforehand i just don’t think she’d do that #she knows there’s more money to be made from a planned release which will get people preordering vinyls and listening to the old version #to see what’s to come #plus i’d be absolutely amazed if anything at all was released before tour. like in the past three years she’s released 3 new albums #2 rerecords and announced a tour. that’s so much. and while i 100% believe she’s been working on all the rerecords and probably has at least #one of them ready to go; she’s not releasing them before tour #plus midnights hasn’t even been out for 6 months yet. i don’t think anti hero is even out of the charts. i know evermore came out just about #5 months after folklore but 1) they were sister albums and 2) that was during the worst part of the pandemic so it wasn’t like either album #could have a proper press run. meanwhile speak now and midnights have absolutely nothing to do with each other besides a ‘fuck you’ song #directed at john mayer. so i’d be absolutely bamboozled if she interrupted midnights’ era with a rerecord release #and i’d be amazed if she released a bunch of from the vault songs right before tour and made the setlist even more complicated than it #will be right now. in fact i think it’s far more likely she’ll release a live tour album which will have ‘from the vault’ songs from sn #or 1989 or maybe rep. or do a live rerecord for at least one of those albums #but again that’ll be released after tour #i am starting to think odd number years are going to be rerecords and even number years will be new releases #but i’d still be amazed if we saw anything before august at the earliest #thank you for coming to my ted talk #taylor swift #personal

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likedbyuarmyhope · 1 year

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i love festa i’ve been waiting all year its my favorite thing ever and im so excited to see what they’ve been preparing for us... im in this bangtan sonyeondan shit for life

#my 6 years with bts passed exactly a month ago and i hope i'll have so many more years with them #as soon as like 2 years passed and i was still loving them more every day i realized this was something special #all of my previous fandoms had lasted for maybe a few months #to this day i havent been continuously active in any other fandom for more than like a year or so #there might be things i still like yknow like for example i got into my sports animes a little before bts and i still love them #but ive moved on from the fandoms and i dont rly keep up with news very actively or anything and i dont think about them all the time #but with bts its like every day i find new things to love about them and new ways to interpret their music #new details in their songs i'd never caught before new tidbits from old interviews i'd never seen before #every day i love them more and more and more until i think there cant possibly be any more love left in me #and then tomorrow comes and i love them even MORE!!!!#i will never act embarrassed or joke about being cringe bc i like bts i just will never do that. they have saved my life #and not only have they saved it they've directly improved it. they've made me the person i am #without them i might be in a completely different place or even a similar place but feeling so much more miserable and worried about things #i know that i am content with where i am solely because of bts' impact on my mindset and my perspective on life and living and growing up #this has turned into a love letter but yknow what its good practice for the letter im gonna write them in my journal on 6.13 <3 #aeron.txt

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sparkelingspectres · 2 years

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Holy crap I knew there was stuff wrong with my body but not like this 😭

#so essentially ive been having some physical pain and have been meaning to get it all checked out by a chiropractor #but just dodnt have the time or money #but bc of the car accudent our insurance is sending me to the chiropractor anyways to check for car injuries #so i figured why not kill 2 birds with one stone since insurance is paying for it anyways #and after getting poked amd prodded for an hour the chiropractor was like #yea im gonna need to get her in for an mri on her hips shoulders and neck & back pronto (all the places that are bothering me)#n im just sitting here like 😬#apparently my pelvis may be chronically lopsided which has been causing the hip pain for the last several months #he said the shoulder pain is bc my tendins and joints are already flimsy due to my loeys dietz #but the car accident put even more strain on it and my shoulder joint is struggling to hold #so essentially it keeps slightly subluxating and popping back in which is grinding on my cartilage #and the back pain is likely a mixture of all 3 + the added possibility that i have some scoliosis #so yeah im having a normal one here yall #but im just thankful its all getting looked at and treated without needing to pay a single cent! hehehe

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lina-gaza · 1 month

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‼️Please don’t skip taking a look 🍉🇵🇸

I am Lina from Gaza, 25 years old. I have been married for 4 years. I have a son named Saif, who is 2 years old, and a daughter named Sidra, who was born in the October War, who is 3 months old. They were born by caesarean section. Help me and my children evacuate Gaza. I need your help to evacuate my family from Gaza. I hope you and your loved ones find you safe and sound. I am coming to you with a very urgent and time-sensitive appeal. We face a constant and imminent threat of death, injury and disease, even during the so-called “truce”. My home has been bombed and destroyed beyond repair. My family’s home. We have been under occupation all our lives, and none of us have experienced anything like what is happening now. There is now an opportunity to get the entire family out of Gaza to Egypt via the Rafah crossing. We do not know how long this opportunity will last, which makes it imperative that we raise the necessary funds as soon as possible. The longer it takes, the more vulnerable they will be. No one knows how long the bombing of Gaza will continue. It will continue, regardless of the cost in human lives. For my family’s future, your help is essential. I am deeply concerned about my children.

The money you contribute will: Cover the enormous costs of safe passage to Egypt. The vast majority of the money will be used for this purpose.

Provide temporary housing for the family in Egypt while the best way forward is determined for them.

Cover some of their initial living expenses while they are in Egypt. We hope to provide them with at least two months’ worth of money. They need time and space to breathe after being gassed during this genocide.

Once all of this is done, additional funds will be used to help me move past my current situation so that I can provide more support to my family. I have taken on the responsibility of caring for them during this critical and uncertain time and into the future.

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