#but pen does

[lordandladywhistledown]

More proof that Colin’s flirtatious character was just on the outside/for the show is that in the part of Colin’s journal that Pen reads, he says how he's lying next to a beautiful woman, touching her face and wondering how is it possible to be so close to someone yet still so far away.

He's clearly not confident in himself or his choices because his heart is still telling him that it's not right. He changed only to attract attention, but that was not what he needed (and he deep down knew that), but he just didn't want to accept it. He still persued ladies because his clever older brothers and friends put the idea of that in his head. He was taught that every man must seek pleasure even if he doesn't even want to in his heart, and if he chooses not to do that, he will be laughed at.

He flirts so much like it’s the only thing he learned and did when he was gone, and shares very little of the actual travelling he did. But the only person to whom he shares the details is Penelope - in his letters, when he's apologising and when he doesn't start hating her for reading his journals (she tells him he's a great writer and he believes her, even if he doesn't show it)

Only Penelope is able to get to his heart because she knows what he truly wants and loves and desires, and that's also why she's able to read his fake persona and write what she did in Lady Whistledown. And he got so mad at that because someone else finally realised the truth about him - someone actually understood him - and it pained him that out of all people, the first person to do so was Lady Whistledown herself.

And instead of people understanding that, reading just a little bit between the lines, they go ahead and shout at how he's a dick and that Penelope doesn't deserve him.

Please, please understand that emotions, feelings and behaviour are all very complicated things and also very easily influenced by the outside world, and that Colin is the same as he was in S1 on the inside. It's just that he's insecure of that part of him so he chooses to hide it. And he so quickly realizes he loves Pen because when they are together, he doesn't feel the need to be anything other than himself and still be loved and appreciated.

End rant.

[eyelovveu]

Bill reading the Great Gabtsy

I’ve never read the great Gatsby personally but I hear it’s got unrequited love…

[itischeese]

He knows what words mean, Minato-sensei.

[dovalore]

fuck it, parkour god

[delicourse]

been watching dungeon meshi...🌱

[stingrayextraordinaire]

I don’t think there is any art in the world quite as astonishing as Kinuko Craft’s illustrations for Patricia McKillip’s novels

[nutsack90]

!!!got a proper tablet!!!

im free from the shackles of drawing with my finger on my phone!!! also click for higher res tumblr hates my textures lmfaoo 😓😓

[ryllen]

" no one will know ~~ ♥♥♥ "

- more like me thinking of Trey going ham if Jade is in a pinch

[bythepen98]

Zutara || ♥️💙

Based on a couple pic from pinterest bc I still struggle with poses 🙈

[mangysah]

All At Once 👁️‍🗨️

[maxphilippa]

bfdi related doodles i made a few weeks ago that i uh. forgot to post

[mecachrome]

2024 MIAMI GP | Post-Race Debrief

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

Eddie is gushing about Steve to Robin and he mentions how it's so fucking metal the way he never shies away from danger. Like, quite the opposite, he literally jumps right into it without a second thought!

And suddenly Robin remembers how Steve wanted to be tortured by the actual real Russian secret service if it meant that his then friendly coworker who he never saw outside of Scoops would be at least a little bit safer. And she notices for the first time how Steve always makes sure that everyone is safe before he leaves a dangerous place - how he makes sure to always be the last one - and she thinks fuck.

(She feels so fucking bad. He is her best friend. Her soulmate. The person who knows her best and vice-versa. How has she never noticed this before?!)

They start paying closer attention to him, then. Neither like what they see. Steve's eyebags grow bigger with every day that passes. He doesn't eat a lot. He can never say no to others, no matter how much it inconveniences him. And when Robin and Eddie gush about what an awesome person he is, he gets an uncomfortable expression on his face and denies it. Robin had never noticed how most their interactions were self-deprecating jokes until now, either.

They need to stage an intervention.

The next time Steve walks through the doors of Family Video, Robin and Eddie are ready. They lay down all the facts and propose a simple deal: either go talk to a professional, or they will explain everything to the rest of the party and they will force him to talk to a professional. It will end the same way no matter what he chooses, might as well take the path with least resistance.

The only thing that sounds worse than paying a stranger to talk about his feelings is to be forced to talk about them to his friends, so he agrees.

He doesn't think it will make a difference, at first. It's not like he is allowed to talk about monsters and other dimensions.

The first session is awkward. But Robin and Eddie always look at him with such worried and expectant looks and he cannot bear to burden them in any way, so he starts opening up more. He can't talk about the time he almost got eaten by Demogorgons in a secret supernatural underground tunnelsystem, but he can talk about the time Billie almost beat him to death. He can't talk about the secret Russian operation beneath the mall, but he can talk about almost dying in the "mall fire". (His memories of his time there are all scrambled because of the drugs, anyway. It is more about the 'near-death' thing and never being able to feel safe, which he can talk about)

He doesn't mean to talk about his interpersonal relationships at first. But then his therapist cautiously asks him about his parents, and before he knows it he is spilling beans he didn't even know needed to be spilled. He talks about how he only seems to be friends with people who went through traumatic experiences with him, and what does that say about him? He talks about when he first realized that other kids are not left behind by their parents for months at a time. He finally starts unpacking the whole Nancy situation and realizes, wow, turns out he isn't nearly as over the whole thing as he'd hoped. (There are a lot of tears).

He seamlessly fills session after session, and at first he doesn't think that it makes much of a difference. Until the kids meet him after he is exhausted from a double shift at Family Video and beg him to drive them somewhere or other, and he can say no and not give in without fearing that they will cast him aside.

(Robin and Eddie are smug when they also notice the changes, but Steve supposes they have earned it this one time.)

[winnie-the-monster]

“That was bloody brilliant.”

[ohtendril]

colin & pen + text posts

[amelia-yap]

here