#but otherwise yeah I'm a thing for a while love that for me
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wanna be objectified but not like a disposible napkin or a pair of socks. more like a treasured heirloom, a vintage musical instrument, a highly specialized piece of hobby equipment, something you for sure could live without but that you cherish while you have it. you treat it well because you want it to last but you do use it, as often as you have time for. something you actively choose to keep as long as it lasts.
#brinn's marble run#I mean this both in the very obvious mental illness I need to be loved way#but I also do mean it as a sex thing#being a person is hard I love taking a break from that#I'll still have opinions the way condensation will leave rings on an antique table#the way some chairs won't fit through some doorways#you will have to accommodate me#but otherwise yeah I'm a thing for a while love that for me
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圣人有情而无累
dihua + 情 | 莲花楼 mysterious lotus casebook
#莲花楼#mysterious lotus casebook#asiandramasource#dailyasiandramas#cdramasource#asiandramanet#cdramagifs#cdramanet#gifshistorical#cdrama#cheng yi#dihua#lhlgifs#jielin's edits#my posts#情 sentiments (not romance or love) / 圣人有情而无累 a sage possesses feelings but is unburdened by it#sgm lxy was described to be cold and unfeeling to the extent he's likened to a ''dead person''#not bc he was above feelings. bc clearly when he was made to face it...it went very badly#so llh ending at the point where he's so composed and at ease despite having to leave everything he cared about behind. yeah.#one would think llh would have been dead from bicha by then. but he's never been more alive tbh#very much a xianxia/cmyth narrative. by the theoretical definitions of xianxia/cmyth#it's a dihua thing to me also since it is them that evoked in one another each of their own ordeals with 情#dfs said to lxy that 你的弱点就是喜欢当英雄. what is good pretending your motivations are so noble#bc dfs had lived his whole life for himself and only himself. he does not pretend to be more than that#and the interesting thing is when it's followed by 一个剑客不该有弱点 as if he's speaking as the 理 of wulin.#being weak is bad and it means you'll lose. that's just the rule of wulin#he is that sort of paradoxical existence...#lxy goes on to prove otherwise as llh. while existing to bring to surface the 情 in dfs#-> just know i do not know what i'm talking about anymore i just have lots of convoluted thoughts about these two im incoherent about#uhhh enjoy some nice gifs!
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Idk why the fucken... Divide between "it was alternate universes" & "Paul is just trans" ideas for Petscop has to be torn into a cavern. Paul being trans DOES make sense, but requires you to ignore huge details that immediately make it not work. The alternate universes DO kind of make sense, but require you to extrapolate out a lot of info purposefully left unshown.
It's hard to describe what i want to say, here -- i do think Paul being trans makes sense, 'splains why he & Care "look eeriely similar," you could argue he's just thoroughly blocked out that part of his life enough to have forgotten Care entirely, etc. I like it, & i keep it as i also say "Yeah, it's that & the universes theory." It's not two switches that demand you can only flip on one of them -- you can have both. You can have neither. Do whatever
#em.txt#petscop#i think my big thing is just that. I don't think it was intended#& it is not my job as a queer person to sweep up crumbs from under the rug for proof that is not there#if a creator wished to create a trans character i would enjoy if they would say as such. but mr. petscop has not said as such#& while i love the theory. if i see one more mfer say 'this is OBVIOUSLY canon & if u say otherwise ur LYING'#or 'omg ppl gotta make up crazy theories before they believe a queer story is queer 🙄' i will bite you.#i understand you are used to no queer rep so you take these scraps of dust as truth.#but do not mock people that don't agree with the plate of nothing you're serving.#discourse#yeah i think I'm being petty enough to deserve this tag. i am sorry for being mean#paul transgender is inherently based but u r stretching as much as me#I don't think the universe theory is canon or intended. I don't think there is an answer to petscop#i think it just exists & doesn't matter what it was abf#the plot of it is chasing windmills & ending up nowhere forever & ever to waste your time & be miserable#why do we want a conclusive answer from that? the explanation of petscop is this:#idk wtf was going on here. but i sure am glad Paul got tf outta there
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hm. am I downloading Night Court right now? possibly.
#don't know if I care yet#tbh I have never seen John Larroquette in anything ever (and it will take me a while until I can spell his name without checking 3 times)#before the librarians#so. I don't know. if it's a character specific thing. or if I just think he's cute. or if I think he's cute now but not when he was younger#but I will find out#because honestly it's possible that it's 90% his voice. very good voice. best voice. love it.#hmmm okay no I've just watched a clip on YouTube and he really is just very cute. damn.#annnd. oh noo. I have to check something#oh crap Brent spiner was born in 1949. that means this is. if my brain decides that this is gonna be something. the first time it's someone#older than my dad :') don't like that#but! my dad's dead! so who gives a fuck!#I'm fine. :)#(also damn I'm lucky my dad was so very very old. otherwise that would have happened much sooner)#(guess I'm joking about that now! interesting development)#anyway yeah he cute. though cuter now tbh. might be the belly. idk. this is very confusing and unusual for me#especially. since. the other crush. is not even close to being over. that's not something that happens. and it's already very bad rn. soo.#that should be interesting. maybe I should just forget all about it and not look at him again when I'm done with the show in a few hours#that'd be best I think (doesn't mean I'll listen to my own advice. he is a man and he is cute so. I've already lost)#it's just. I see Jenkins and it's like. JENKINS!! 😍😍😍😍 I'm very weak#and he's so funny 😔#sigh.#just be normal 🤦🤦🤦#i don't know if it makes it better or worse that I'm fully aware that this is most likely happening because I'm in the middle of some sort#of crisis right now and that's how I've always coped but. eh it is what it is#trying to be nicer to this stupid brain and all that#let it have fun looking at an old man it's fine
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oh my god.. a job for me.. historical pierrot beach performer lol
#also I'm obsessed with shows like this#I always forget about like 'people live in a fully historical way as a sort of half documentary half educational reality-tv ish thing' as#a genre but then every once in a while I remember and watch something like this and am so enamored#There was also one called 'manor house' or something where it was like normal people who aren't actually historians or anything#trying to live like how they did a while ago in some big manor or whatever which was interesting#not the drama really (there wasnt much but a few of the people on there were kind of annoying whenever they did get their#few little interview bits among the otherwise mostly explanatory nature of the show just focusing on how things#worked in mainatining a giant manor house)#though there's a lot of focus on edwardian and victorian times in these sorts of things. which is cool!#but I wonder if they have them for different time periods too. and different locations. what about 1500s france#1250s china. etc. etc. I dont know because like I said I always forget I like this type of stuff so I never look it up#omg.... guess what... (whispering to you as if we're friends and I'm gosspiing).. you will NEVER believe this..#you know 'Edwardian Farm' right? well.. I just found........ 'VICTORIAN farm'!#it's literally the same people doing the same thing but a different time period. And you know what? I will still eagerly watch every moment#ghbhj.. They could do 'Victorian Farm 2' 'Victorian Farm 3: Yet Another Show About The Same Stuff' and I would watch them all#ANYWAY.. also I feel like that could be my niche. Like because I'm Very Mentally Ill And Have Very Much Problems and have difficulty managi#ng ''normal'' jobs. But I LOVE menial repetitive tasks epsecially ones I can do with my hands. Like I could peel carrots for hours. I love#sculpting. etc. If I were ever in a position to learn a historical trade I think that could be My Thing. on these shows they always have li#ke 'The One Single Guy In The Entirety Of England Who Still Weaves Baskets Like They Did In Shropshire In 1805' or whatever and they#call him on the show and he's like 'yeah this basket took me 16 hours to make and here's how I do it' and it's like.. god.. I could be that#guy.. Like old style jewelry making. shoe making. all of these little tedious tasks to do crafting sorts of things.#It's just that like... when am I ever going to be in a position to LEARN that? You'd have to know someone who already does it#and be like tutored by them or etc. Which my social issues are a barrier gghhj.. and lack of resources/money to buy supplies. etc#but.. THEORETICALLY.. the dream.. ANYWAY ghhjhj.. I've been very busy all week but will try to do new poll adventure and other#stuff soon. I've had like two appointments and More Things Than Usual so just.. zero social media posting energy whatsoever#I do HAVE posts though.. pictures.. cat things.. costumes.. polls.. it's just.. brain says I have to lay on the floor all day instead#but at least I can ponder the absolute glee of a theoretical life where I am That One Guy in england who can make old ass gloves or etc.#If anyone in the UK has a dying grandpa with a near-extinct skill and YOU yourself don't feel like picking up the trade to pass it to young#er generations.. hmu and help me get citizenship and I will do it for you. even if he's evil and mean. I will MAKE those shoes
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If you saw me add Castle muses here... no you didn't 😅
#( ooc. )#( new muse. )#usually I like to know the whole canon or at least the larger part of it#to add characters as muses#because I'm scared I won't get them right otherwise#( ...which I am always scared about to be honest regardless of how well I know canon... )#and I haven't watched the whole show by far but I know a lot#also when I was watching the first time around I kinda skipped at one point forward to when Castle and Beckett are together#because the writers were getting on my nerves with their “natural progression” of their relationship#natural#yeah#four seasons is natural#when it was obvious if not from the get-go then from season 2/end of s2 max that they not only should be together but have feelings#for each other#but no the natural progression is for them to date left and right while loving each other#sorry about rambling#I just... would like to have a word or two with the writers about what they think a normal relationship looks like#anyway#I still need to watch a couple of seasons in total#even though I'm not sure I want to based on some things I know#but I'm adding them already because I can't not do that#so... yeah#you are free to interact with them of course#just if it takes me a bit to respond or I have a preference for one thread over another#don't think I don't like the idea / starter / meme#I'm probably just not confident
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Okay wow. What an epilogue. WHAT an epilogue. Setting aside for now the heavy-handed teaser for the next arc, there's so much I love about this ending.
Winter not only finding peace far away from his toxic family but exploring his own interests and hobbies and actively, voluntarily keeping in touch with all of his friends!! (His new family--!! AUGHH he actually said it!! 😭) I wish we'd actually got the chance to see him interact with Smolder and Flower, but still.
Turtle bonding with his mom like he always dreamed, getting back in touch with his creative side with the love and support of his friends and peers, and most importantly making things right with Anemone and being a proper presence in her life as a brother, friend, and role model!!
ANEMONE HAVING A SHY LESBIAN CRUSH ON MY GIRL TAMARIN???
Kinkajou being the single most level-headed and emotionally mature dragon on the entire continent, which is hilarious in its own way but also holy cow I am so proud of her!!
Peril THRIVING as a Normal Teen Girl, making friends and flirting with her bf and getting excited about schoolwork!!
The NightWing and RainWing tribes happily cohabitating again under Queen Glory's protection!! (Peacemaker being half RainWing is such a powerful image, what a sweet ending for him, even if it broke my heart a little when he was afraid of Clearsight's memory vanishing with him)
Squid-brain mentioned!! Still doing a great job as head of the Talons of Peace, building settlements and fostering cooperation between tribes!!
Even Flame getting help from actual healers, and hopefully some counselling to go with it!!
Maaaaan what a series. I could (and may yet) list off several things I didn't like so much, but the truth remains that these books feel like something I would have written myself. Someone took all my favorite themes and archetypes and imagery and slapped them on an entire bustling world full of colorful anthropomorphized dragons, and it feels like a gift to me specifically.
#Tyto reads WoF#all that said.......... I dunno if I feel like reading the next arc LOL#it's on a separate continent... after a massive time skip? if I understood correctly??#meaning all of the characters and relationships and probably a lot of the worldbuilding I've fallen in love with won't be relevant anymore#like. the Jade Mountain arc focused on new characters too but the core cast from the first arc were still THERE. they were INVOLVED.#and the state of the world was still familiar because only six months had passed#so yeah idk I'm just not feeling it currently.#it looks like a lot of the new tribes are bug/fairy dragons which is fine but not really my thing either.#siggghhhh idk! unless someone wants to convince me otherwise I might at least wait a while.#just gonna let the first two arcs warm my heart for now <3
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one reason i'm grateful a) to have been getting into treating my meta as An Art Form as much as fanfic/art/etc, and b) that there's an import function for that on AO3, is that i write very little prose these days, and Actually Having Substantial Things to Post helps me get past the stumbling block of 'well there's nothing much worth going to the trouble for anyway, is there' to the 'alright let's address all the other baggage that makes using AO3 so emotionally fraught for you bud' step (staircase.)
#whosebaby talks#for one thing i met my abusive ex through reading his fics on AO3 for years before we *actually* met and started interacting directly#more specifically me and my *other* abusive ex were fans of his during that time; and gushed a lot to each other in private about his fics#and Indirect Interaction with Ficwriter Crush Through Posting Fic to AO3 was one of the things that *got* us both posting on AO3 for a whil#that's not remotely the only reason i have baggage about it but. yeah.#it has taken me like four years to get to the point where i can *mostly* look in the AO3 tags for any given fandom i'm in#without feeling panicky or sick. mostly.#and not having had anything i felt able or up to posting there for so long means right now the bulk of my current stuff on AO3 is either#'hey remember when you were in an abusive/otherwise hideously toxic friendship/relationship while you were posting this'#or 'hey remember when you were involved in a fandom community that was positive + supportive; that's dead now or you wandered away from it'#'or both; and now it's too late to go back'#which itself is just. tied to a lot of trauma from *before* Fandom as It is These Days Being Its Current Flavor of Fucking Mess#and there are a lot of years-old lovely comments on my old fics that i feel deeply guilty for not having responded to before now#which it's probably not too late to and that's the beauty of AO3. but just. it's a lot#as well as the constant voice whispering in my ear that 'okay well you were pretty good at writing Once but you peaked and now you're shit'#there's a Lot. so yes i am hoping that having meta to post will help put a little distance there#while still preserving my old writing and the snapshots of who i used to be#because she deserved that much; regardless of how the person i am now feels about her; and the evidence that she was there.#anyway. this post brought to you by found a bunch of glowing recs for my exes' fics i had completely forgotten in my dusty AO3 bookmarks#it was an unpleasant surprise but after the initial OH EW that they were there all that time it feels good to know that it's gone#personal stuff#abuse cw#the salt files
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clocking artemy in for his 'rescuing abandoned babies' shift at the plague house factory
#(a) oh god i hate these side quests. i mean i love them and they're not mandatory but GOD the infection mechanics are brutal. plague victims#fully standing in doorways DEMANDING a hug#(b) extremely funny that anna angel is there at all times. girl what are you doing here. stop stealing babies#jack plays pathologic#also while i'm here rambling in the tags. i just finished the sidequest where the kin want your good pal rubin dead and it's like. man.#it made me feel things because that's like. your group of people. and they won't tell you exactly why they want rubin dead.#and rubin will not tell you why they want him dead beyond 'i did an abomination' which like yeah probably.#meanwhile he's so MEAN to a cultural group that you the player character are part of and it's like. man!! rubin daniil isn't half as bad#and idk to me it's just a sign of like. man you are so desperate for help that you're willing to work with anyone with an ounce of knowledg#because otherwise EVERYONE dies#and it's SO bleak#p2 also has the added burden of like. yeah artemy gets attacked on suspicion of his dad's murder as soon as he gets off the train#and then twenty minutes later he sees a member of the Kin burned alive for no reason. GOD
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I've seen a lot of "You have to communicate directly/don't expect other people to read your mind" posts going around tumblr lately and while I really do appreciate them because it's a skill a LOT of people need to work on, I do want to remind everyone to please meet people halfway sometimes.
I recently read a story on Reddit about a guy's pregnant wife texting him "I'm craving donuts but we don't have any in the house 😔" and he DIDN'T stop to pick up donuts on the way home from work. Everyone was taking his side because "she needs to communicate" and "he's not a mind reader" and "How was he supposed to know she wanted him to get donuts???" People, ffs, why on earth would she text him that while he was at work if not because she wanted him to get donuts? I was flabbergasted everyone was taking his side. "How was he supposed to know??" What? Like yeah it's true she didn't say "I want you to get me donuts" with those exact words in that exact order but the reason why people get upset if they hint they want you to do something and you don't do it is because they feel like you don't care about them and aren't actively thinking about their feelings. Especially in a marriage or LTR they are in a situation where the assumption is you care about filling the other person's needs.
Someone who loves and cares about someone will get the donuts "without being asked" just because their partner expresses a want or need. That's what someone is fishing for when they say "Aaaah I'm craving donuts 🥺🥺🥺" It's less about the donuts and more about feeling cared for. Sometimes straight up asking "Can you get me donuts?" defeats the purpose.
Also, women are typically socialized to communicate this way because they're punished socially for being too direct. I've heard that people of color, especially black people, often do this too because they're likely to be branded as "aggressive" if they're too direct with white people. So it might be a good idea to be a bit intersectional if we're trying to encourage people to be more direct.
Take the stereotypical example of a wife gets a new haircut and then gets upset that the husband doesn't notice. She's not literally mad at him for not saying the exact words "I like your new haircut." She's upset because she feels like he doesn't look at her and appreciate the efforts she's putting in anymore.
Obviously this will vary widely depending on the nature of your relationship with someone, but especially when it comes to intimate partnerships, there are certain things your significant other should not have to tell you directly. It's probably safe to assume your wife or husband wants a birthday present even if they don't ask for it. It's probably safe to assume your bf or gf would appreciate a valentine's day present or a compliment without them having to literally ask for it, unless they explicitly say otherwise.
This is difficult for a lot of neurodivergent people to learn manually if it's not instinctual and they didn't learn it growing up (lord knows I didn't) and yes, it's true that most people (especially NT people) should learn to communicate more directly. But also, your relationships would probably benefit from learning to read indirect cues and just pick up the donuts on the way home because you heard your wife is craving them. Sometimes what someone wants is for you to think about what they're feeling and what they want and do it without them asking directly. It's up to you whether or not you do that, but sometimes that is asking. I think this is what people generally mean when they say their partner is "thoughtful."
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Couples Shit with Jason MF Todd:
Your relationship with Jason is, to the outside world, the definition of the word frenemy. In truth, you two absolutely love to rag on each other as a pastime while, y'know, being a couple.
Jason gives as good as he gets and vice versa. You can and have gotten the better of him, though, and all he can do is snort, go, "Holy shit," and try to play it off like he's not fucking dying of laughter. Good one, baby.
You and Jason complaining about how the other takes up space... but that's all you two do. You don't do fuck all to change it, you just complain for the sake of complaining. While all up in each other's space and enjoying it. This usually occurs in the bed or on the couch. ("Did you mean to sleep up under me, Jay?" "Sure did. Get used to it.")
Jason talking maaaad shit about your tastes in TV, music, what have you, but somehow seems to know just as much, if not more, about said things you indulge in. Call him out and he'll call bullshit.
Similarly, you talking cash trash about Jason's "old man" tendencies. Very funny, sweetheart. Drinking your coffee black can be good for you. ("That's not what I'm talking about and you know it, Jason.")
Conversely, also encouraging Jason to rest comfortably in his basic bitch™ era which he claims is nonexistent (embrace the basic bitch within, Jason!) but the way he uses your Stanley cup more often than not says otherwise lmao.
Intimacy (not sex) being one of the deliberately slow and steady aspects of your relationship. Sure, Jason is a very touchy-feely when it's you two by yourselves but affection and vulnerability were two things that took some getting used to, especially on Jaybird's end.
Ironically enough, he's like a fucking cat when he's with you. Affection? Cuddles? Disgusting. Give him more, baby. Scritches on his scalp? Well, what the hell are you waiting for? Side eyes of epic proportions? Don't mind if he does.
Jason being in the doghouse whenever he comes home banged and bruised up. Yeah, baby, he promised he'd be careful but shit. Even though you're mad—it's more anger born of worry—you're always there to help patch him up. He doesn't give a fuck how much pain he's in, he still wants his cuddles, though. ("C'mere...")
Being banned from watching Jason exercise because you always make shit sexual and he's trying to concentrate and not get hard and/or laugh. You fuckin' tease. What the hell would he do without you?
#2queued4u.#nsfw-ish.#dc comics#jason todd#red hood#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#red hood x reader#red hood x you#dc x reader#dc x you#x plus size reader#x black reader#x poc reader
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i wish i trusted my own feelings more but here i am?
#me: i feel this way (: someone i like: um... are you sure? i think you feel more that way#me: oh shit... maybe i do? binch i gotta think this one through now..........#i dont think my answer will change but its uh... worth another look#oliver said a while ago he thinks i'm in love with fabian.. and immidetly i said very confidently apperantly that i dont#and now ive been thinking about it and im like....... ok but am i?#told oliver again and he was like 'what i thought you said you werent? you sounded very sure about it'#yeah i mean...... at one hand i am but also...... i think my brain can do a lot of shit to keep me away from things that will probably end#badly. and genuinly i do not think me and fabian would have any chanse even if somehow he would be into me too#i'd never feel good enough for him. so i may just have gone into the whole thought of#its never going to happen so you obviously just like him in a friendly way. the end. idk#as usual romantic feelings for me is a mess. i dont divide love in that way naturally. for me love is love. if i love you i love you#i'd do anything for you and anything you'd want with me i'd be down for unless we are very unlike character wise#i just can see myself liking almost#all my friends in a romantic way? i can imagine it from my pov but its theirs i cant#not something i actively think about tho its just.... something i have and i know?#maybe this actually isnt how i think but theres another explanation (like oliver said 'being afraid of others leaving so youre willing to do#anything they want to keep them aorund) but until i learn otherwise this is what i keep thinking. i feel like a freak tho bc i dont think#anyone can really... understand it unless they feel soething similar ? or are super open or such. the friends ive told i think got a bit#scared. makes sense... but i cant make it sound better or more normal like yeah. everyone is safe from me romantically but also#almost everyone is welcome to hmu if they wanna try dating i guess. i speak big but i do have some exceptions#mainly bc of character meshing :'))#miranda talking shit
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life is really so wonderful
#🌙.rambles#SORRY I JUST CANT STOP THINKING#the rustle of the leaves against the wind.. the air i breathe in n the sun n the colors around me#the world is in constant motion n time continues to go on endlessly n it's. beautiful.#the future is so unknown n many r afraid of that hut#but more than fear. curiousity overwhelms my fear. my love for life n my desire to be human#sob i really want to do so much but if i become a doctor. i'm not sure if i can singularly just focus on working towards that for a while#hmm. other than stuff i'm conflicted abt tho i rlly love thinking of how#there's sm more things n people to love n experience in the future. so no matter how hard it gets at time#there's the future yeah?#but it won't do to just keep on focusing on the future. otherwise we'll just#never really be satisfied with where we are in the present.#so we shld let ourselves live in the present.. n not in a way that 'oh i have to bcs its for the best' No you deserve it so just rest#i wish i cld tell everyone i care abt that i'll be with them forever#idk recently i've been thinking a lot of life n how ephemeral it is? time..#not everything stays. life moves on time moves on n things change too but#i do really believe that everything continues to live in us. & in the universe#fuck if it's infinitesimal i think the meaning in it is astronomical. to me at least#my mind is an endless ocean but the waters are calm right now#n i'm pulling the gentle waves back to my own shore. keeping a hold on myself#YEAH i'm rambling n i wna get stuff done for next week so i'll rest a bit n do that n fix my tumblr sometime c:
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Cleo sits next to Scott, her head in her hands, and says—
—“I really thought it’d be different this time.” BigB sighs. He kicks his foot. Ren is, at least, a sympathetic ear. He understands these things, or at least he understands that it’s hard to be alone. “I mean, I know you don’t trust those guys…”
“I don’t,” agrees Ren.
“But they reached out, man. And I thought, well,”—
—“I could always bury the hatchet, you know?” Cleo says. “It’s been what, how many games? How many years? And I can recognize when I’m as much of the problem as someone else.”
“You had a reason to be a problem. I love that you’re a problem,” Scott says supportively. Pearl snorts in the corner.
“I’m good at being a problem!” Cleo says
“I know, you are,” Scott agrees.
“But it’s like—I don’t know. Maybe I was ready to be done being angry! Maybe I…”—
—“…just wanted a change.”
BigB is quiet. He lets the thought sit in the air. Ren, normally a man determined to fill silences, at least understands the value of a dramatic pause; he doesn’t say anything yet.
Martyn, however, has grown a bit more impatient over the sessions. "What kind of change? You two have been weird about each other for years."
BigB is quiet a moment more. "Did you know that—Ren, did you know that you were the first and last person to show me trust?"
"Uh, thank you, dude," Ren says.
"But like, the thing is, people, they stabbed us then, man. And it's just..."—
—"...he didn't have to! That's what gets me! He could have like... said anything to me? I don't ask much! I offered him my hand! I said, sure man. I'm gonna forgive you, just this once. We can try again. And he just—he tried to kill you! Why?"
"I mean, Scott is one of the people with the most lives," Impulse says reasonably. "And he didn't betray you."
"That's not how teams work, Impulse," Cleo says. "You can't just get rid of the teammate you don't like. The team is only as strong..."—
—"...as weak as it's component parts."
Ren and Martyn stare.
"Jesus, BigB," Martyn says.
BigB looks away. "Yeah, um, well. I don't think that's that stupid. It's not about you two, really. And this is a death game, right? I didn't attack her. It's just... I wasn't going to, really. I wasn't..."—
—"...he was going to, that's the thing. He's always going to do... this!"
"Maybe that's what you get for reaching out to a traitor," Scott says lightly.
Impulse looks away. Pearl snorts again. Cleo sighs.
"Look, I have a long memory, but if I let that decide everything I do forever it would eat me. And people have their reasons. Impulse, look Scott in the eyes, he's not even the reason you have that reputation. Pearl, you're a part of the team. That's the thing. People can change. People..."—
—"...can't change, really." BigB shrugs. "She should know better by now."
"Uh, dude, should we know better?" Ren asks.
"Nah. I mean, Martyn's worse than I am," BigB says cheerfully.
"Martyn," Ren says, sounding vaguely disappointed. Martyn crosses his arms.
"What? You're the one who said I had evil in me. If you take in a snake, you can't be mad if it bites you. If you take in a scorpion..."—
—"...you can hope it learns not to sting you. I don't know. Maybe it's just in his nature."
Pearl makes a strange noise. "And what's in my nature?"
Cleo sighs. She steps over and throws an arm around Pearl's shoulder.
"As long as you don't bite me? I'm willing to learn." Pearl leans into Cleo's arm slightly. Cleo can't help but wonder, some days, how much of the way she flinches back again is her fault. BigB isn't the only one that Cleo hopes can change his nature. Otherwise...
"I'm not actually a traitor, despite what everyone claims," Impulse says, apropos of nothing.
"You know, you should pick better friends," Scott says.
"Nah," Cleo says. She doesn't elaborate. She just—
—breathes. BigB just breathes.
"It was never going to work, anyway," he says.
"Sometimes I wonder if everyone broke while I wasn't looking," Ren says quietly, sadly. BigB has no answer for that.
#wild life smp#wild life spoilers#bigbst4tz2#zombiecleo#a bee fic#trafficfic#UHHHH NOT SURE HOW WELL THIS ONE TURNED OUT BUT I WANTED TO TRY THIS DUELING CONVERSATION THING#anyway wailing about this BIGB WHY. CLEO WHY. WEH.
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So I’m imagining Aemond’s wife has to leave him for a few days or even weeks. (perhaps to return to her family’s home somewhere else in Westeros for some reason) Perhaps she flies on dragonback or rides by horse/carriage. Either way she’s gone for some time and the longer she’s away the more on edge Aemond gets. Like he behaves his regular cold and withdrawn self but otherwise normally for a few days. But then slowly his already hard edges seem to grow sharper and sharper as the days without his wife creep by. His attacks in the training yard seem more brutal and vicious than normal. He stalks down the halls in an almost predatory walk as nobles scramble to stay out of his way and not meet his eye. He snaps at his servants more and more. And then suddenly the weeks are over and his wife is home and those hard edges are sanded down once again. He practically melts into her arms the moment they’re behind closed doors. Face buried in her neck or chest. The next day his training is much more subdued. He does not snap at people or move so hostilely about the Keep. Most people put two and two together. Now every time Aemond’s wife leaves him for more than a few days the whole of Kings Landing holds its breath until she returns.
(Bonus points: a few days before her return, Helaena states completely out of the blue to Aemond that she’ll be home before the week is out and he need not worry about her. Aemond starts. How could she know that? Was his wife writing to her and sending her a raven with that information but not him?? He knows they’re close friends but he’s her husband!? So he asks Helaena if she’s had a raven. Helaena just stops her needlework and looks at him confused: “No.” And then resumes her needlework without explanation. He decides to think nothing of it. Until two days later his wife is walking back up the steps of the Red Keep and his heart is doing somersaults in his chest he’s just so thrilled to see her.)
**nsfw thots**
On an unrelated note to all that: imagine them the night before she leaves. Riding him gently, holding him close, pulling orgasm after orgasm from him til he’s over sensitive and completely spent. Making sure to give him as much attention as possible before she leaves. As he lays there in a daze she gently showers him with kisses. Kissing up and down his neck and jaw she whispers in his ear “Aemond, my darling? I want you to think of this night while I’m gone. I want you to think about the night we shall have when I return. I want you to touch yourself and think of me. But you’re not allowed to cum. Not without me.” Another gentle kiss to his temple over his sapphire eye. “Can you be a good boy and do that for me, my love?” He shifts slightly and moans a quiet yes in response. Of course he can do that. He’s a good boy. With more willpower and obedience than anyone. And he will be rewarded handsomely for it when she returns.
I.... Anon you are truly a visionary. I am in shock and awe these thoughts are INCREDIBLE. I love everything about this oh my god.
So instead of splitting up my answer like you did here, I'm gonna answer this as one long ask about before you leave for a few days, how he is while you're gone and then what happens when you return so the entire thing will be NSFW sub!aemond with varying degrees of explicit content. So yeah! Venture under the cut if you dare :))
When you first married Aemond, not much changed because he hardly knew you. But, very very quickly he started to get attached. He realises that you care for him, that you enjoy talking to him and that you mean it when you praise him. For a long time your relationship is almost... professional? Once a week he'll attempt for an heir with you laying flat on your back and then leave immediately and besides that, you'd only see him at dinners and events.
When you started to show Aemond affection and began to ask him questions and love him, he really just melts into you? He becomes so needy so quickly, like a switch is flipped and once he's allowed a little of his self restraint to falter, he's incapable of controlling himself around you anymore.
People are shocked at the change in Aemond. He's much mellower, much less likely to lash out and he hears people out much more. They also learn that they can go to you with any issues, and you will relay them to Aemond. This process always works much better because he's always much better when speaking to you.
(Side note: you know how kings used to have a servant whose only job was to read their letters aloud for them? When Aemond becomes king he immediately gets rid of that servant and has you read the letter aloud instead. It's much, much better to hear your voice and be able to discuss the content of the letters with you)
Maybe this is the first time you've gone away without Aemond? By this point he is attached to your side, and the entire castle is thankful for it. You both spend every night in your shared quarters, and he allows himself to be open in how much he loves you and how much he needs from you.
So when you tell him you need to leave for a few days, at first he doesn't even consider the possibility that you mean without him? His response to hearing this is to nod and say, "Where are we going? And for how long?" Maybe his lips even twitch upwards a little in a very small smile because he thinks the two of you will be travelling alone together. Even if you're going somewhere terribly political and boring, the journey itself is enough to get him in a good mood. Just you, him and Vhagar would be perfect (and your own dragon if you had one, but Vhagar loves you and is more than happy to carry both you and Aemond, in fact sometimes she won't fly with just Aemond because she can tell he's angry and might do something rash, so she'll refuse to take off until you join them so that you can stop Aemond from doing something stupid).
(Side note: Aemond buys a small house somewhere far away and only reachable by dragon and that becomes your little sanctuary, whenever he’s about to lose it he goes up there with you and Vhagar and Vhagar actually won’t fly him back to the keep until he’s doing better)
When you clarify that you need to go yourself, his smile falls? He understands why he can’t go with, but that doesn’t matter. He just… you’re going to be gone for over a week?? What’s he supposed to do??
I think he’d be insistent on you taking Vhagar if you don’t have your own dragon. Not only because she’s quicker than any horse but also because he knows she’d melt down entire kingdoms if someone dared to lay a hand on you and knowing you have that kind of protection is the only way they’ll be any chance of him getting any sleep while you’re away.
You don’t even bother trying to argue against this, because you know he’ll just follow you on Vhagar if you don’t take her yourself.
The night before you’re set to leave, you tell him to get dinner delivered to your chambers and to tell everyone that the two of you are not be disturbed. He knows what this means, he’s so thankful.
You ride him first, until he’s so desperate to cum that he can’t stop bucking his hips. And then you get off him and make him eat you out before he’s allowed to fuck you again. His thighs are shaking when you eventually lower yourself down on him again and he cums almost instantly.
That’s when the overstimulation starts. Your goal is to take him apart completely until he’s a mess, until he’s twitching and whining and mumbling in high Valeryon. It honestly doesn’t even take that long to do.
When you give him the rules, he can only nod and turn to cuddle into your neck. He’s so plaint and completely wrecked, not a single wall left between you. He’s so sweet then, nodding and trying to kiss your neck because he’s just floating on cloud nine.
You slip out of bed the next morning before he wakes up, because you know that will be the easiest for him. If he has to actually watch you leave, he will almost immediately become hostile and unhappy until you return. This way there’s a chance that he might not immediately start terrorising the servants.
When Aemond wakes and you’re not there, he understands why you chose to do that and deep down he knows it’s the best choice, but it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t feel like a punch to the gut anyway. This is the first time in your entire marriage that he’s fallen asleep with you and woken up alone. You’ve always ensured to stay in bed until he wakes up and he does the same, so to roll over and find nothing but cold sheets actually makes him let out a sob out loud.
He pulls your pillow closer, hugging it tightly and curling himself around it. He knows he’s acting ridiculous and he does not care about it, not at all because his wife isn’t in his bed and he’s all alone.
He’s alright for the first three days, still very withdrawn but he wasn’t too bad. From the fourth day onwards he just got worse and worse. He was not used to going this long without you, without your attention and touches and voice. He’s so used to popping into places he knows you’ll be just to see you, bringing you food or wine or even just to ask your advice for something. Sometimes he’ll even come find you to invite you do dinner despite the fact that you eat dinner together every day.
So yeah he’s not doing very well. I also think he becomes even worse about touches? A servant accidentally brushes against him as they walk past carrying laundry and he flings himself against the opposite wall feeling like his skin is on fire where they touched.
Sparring with him is dangerous while you’re away, and if he loses he will just drop his sword and walk away. He would normally go to you and you’d kiss him gently and listen to him and give him advice. But now he just walks right out.
He also doesn’t make any big decisions? Irrelevant of whether he’s king, prince or prince regent, he always goes to you for advice and to hear your thoughts. You’re an extremely important part of his council and he won’t pledge to anything without discussing it first.
So the whole castle walks on eggshells for the next week or so until you eventually come back.
The moment one of the dragon keepers spots Vhagar, they immediately run to the keep and tell Aemond because they know how badly everyone needs you to be back with Aemond. The dragon keeper doesn’t even get to finish his sentence before Aemond is out the door and running for the dragon pits.
He’s there when you get off Vhagar.
The dragon keepers and servants know better than to try and get close to you before him. Normally, you hand the dragon riders your gear and the servants help take off the gloves and boots but no one moves this time because they all know that Aemond will kill them if they get in the way.
The moment you get odd Vhagar, Aemond is walking forward and before you can even say a thing he’s pulling you into a bone crushing hug. He clings to you as tight as he can, nuzzling his nose against your clavicle. You try pull away a little to give him a kiss and he refuses, his grip on you only tightens.
When he eventually pulls away, you take his hand in your hands and give him a soft kiss. He responds immediately and then hugs you tight again.
“You’re ever going for that long again,” he mumbles against your shoulder, “ever.”
You just rub his back and let him hold you for a moment because you know that there’s no point in trying to tell him you had to go. He’s too upset right now, and he just needs to be reassured to that you’re back.
Maybe you’re supposed to speak to the small council about something or give them a debrief of your trip but you end up only doing that the next day because Aemond refuses to share you with anyone. If anyone else tries to take your attention he may genuinely commit murder because it’s been far too long and he’s your husband, not them. He’s the one who gets your undivided attention.
He walks with you back to your shared quarters. On the way there, run into some of the ladies currently being hosted at the court and of course they all want to greet you and ask about your trip. Aemond is having absolutely none of it. He literally just says, "not now" and drags you away from them.
Normally if Aemond did something like that you would refuse to go with him and punish him later, but you know that this is different because of how long he's had to go without you and so you'll make some exceptions. Of course Aemond knows this, that's why he even did it in the first place. If he thought there was even the smallest chance of you being unhappy with him, he never would have done it.
Once you're alone in your chambers, he pulls you back into a hug, and pretty quickly you can feel his shoulders shaking.
"It's alright," you whisper to him, keeping your voice soft and gentle, "I'm back, it's just us here, it's alright." He nods, but he keeps himself firmly against your shoulder, crying softly.
When he stops crying, you tell him to boil some water and get a bath ready. Ordinarily you would call a servant in to do that, but you can see how unsettled Aemond is, how overwhelmed he is. He's clearly happy you're back, but he's also kind of unsure what to do with himself and clearly is just feeling a little too many things. So you give him a task to do, because that always settles him and he relaxes knowing that he's pleasing you.
You watch as he readies the water and then pours it into the bath with some cold water to make the perfect temperature.
Since you flew back on dragon back, you're in need of a bath before bed and so you tell Aemond to join you and let him wash you. It's one of Aemond's favourite tasks, one that he can't believe he is privileged enough to get to do.
He takes his time washing you, being so so gentle and ensuring he does is properly. Multiple times he pauses and looks to you, waiting for your approval before he continues. You can see him start to relax as he does it, can see the tension start to leave his shoulders.
You'd love to wash him in return, but you know it's not the best idea right then. Aemond is relaxed and at ease because he's served you and he knows he's being good. You know that if you turn the attention back on him and wash him, you run the risk of him getting overwhelmed and shy. So instead you just tell him to wash himself once he's done with you and you make sure to watch him as he does so. He absolutely loves having your eyes on him.
You let him dry you afterwards as well, and when you see his eyes trailing your body, you tell him that he can kiss you too. Immediately he does, kissing your skin after he swipes the towel over it.
He's turned by this point, of course, but he doesn't even think about touching himself. He knows the rules, and he knows you will look after him.
Originally you were going to ride him and edge him a few times, but when you see how vulnerable he is, you change your mind. He's missed you so much, and you can see how he's keeping his hands on you for as long as possible each time he kisses you, like he's afraid you're going to disappear. You don't need to wreck him, he's already wrecked.
Instead, you let him sit between your legs, his back to your front and give him a nice, soft handjob. He's shaking and whining in your arms, nuzzling against your neck and mumbling in high valeryon. He's so beautiful when he cums, crying out as his back arches away from you. He collapses once it's over, curling up between your legs and bringing your hand to his mouth to lick it clean.
You let him shuffle down the bed then and eat you out to his heart's content. He's so so happy, groaning against you because he's having as much fun as you are.
Even once you've came, he stays there and just rests his head against your thigh. He falls asleep like that soon after.
#sub!aemond#aemond targaryen smut#aemond targaryen x reader#prince aemond#aemond one eye#aemond targaryen#hotd aemond#aemond x reader#house of the dragon#house of the dragon fanfiction#hotd#house of the dragon imagine
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Sooo. . . . Got any jealous Sakusa?
Not gonna lie two of my favorite things in one. . .
PLEASE I NEED MORE SAKUSA FICS I'VE RAN THROUGH ALL OTHER ONES PLEASE!!!!!🥺🥺🥺
HEHHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEH
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Kiyoomi wears his emotions like a badge. His heart stays on his sleeve, and even when he tries to tell you otherwise, you always can tell when something is plaguing your man's mind.
And right now, as you laugh with Hinata, Kiyoomi is seething. Or, so he thinks, had he not been shooting daggers at his teammate that obviously goes noticed by the two of you. There is no hiding how he is feeling about the laughter pouring from your lips, and once you calm down, Hinata elbows your side gently.
"Your boyfriend is mad at me," he whispers, and you snort and look over at him: his eyes are lowered in ferocity, knuckles lightened from gripping his glass, and you smile at him, only for his head to nod in acknowledgement.
"Your friend will be fine," you assure, taking a sip of your drink while he laughs. "Besides, he's cute when he's mad."
"Yeah he is."
Your head whips to him, "do I have to be aware of something, Hinata?"
"Watch your back," he teases, sending you a wink.
That does it. immediately, Kiyoomi storms over to both of you, an arm tossing around your shoulders and tugging you into his side. You smile up at him and curl into his side, and you feel him soften up. "Hi, my baby," you hum.
"Hey, my love," he says back, and when you look up at him, he's still staring down Hinata, who matches him with a cheeky smile and a raise of his brows. Kiyoomi snarls, and Hinata chuckles. "So. What were you two talking about?"
"Nothing," you say, pressing a kiss to his jawline.
"I was saying how I'm gonna steal you the minute they let their guard down," Hinata says casually, shrugging.
Kiyoomi tenses. You bust out in laughter at his disbelief, and your boyfriend clears his throat.
"That's... flattering."
"Coming after you, my boy," Hinata assures, spinning on his heel to meet up with his other teammates, clapping a hand on Meian's back.
Kiyoomi looks down at you, his features much more relaxed and back to his normal adoring look. "So... he wasn't... flirting with you?"
"No, he was flirting with you, boyfriend."
He smiles shyly and polishes off his drink, pressing a kiss to the side of your head and pulling you close as he can. He sponges kisses down the side of your neck, and you laugh at the uncharacteristic display of affection. His teammates playfully cheer him on, and for a moment, you feel him smirk against your skin, reminding the whole team who you belong to.
"Good."
#i genuinely hope someone enjoys this and appreciates feral omiomi like i do 🥺👀#i know that man is possessive smhhhhhh#one chance kiyoomi onE CHANCE-#sakusa kiyoomi#sakusa kiyoomi fluff#sakusa kiyoomi x reader#sakusa kiyoomi x gn!reader#sakusa kiyoomi x reader fluff#sakusa kiyoomi imagine#sakusa kiyoomi haikyuu#sakusa#sakusa fluff#sakusa x reader#sakusa x reader fluff#sakusa x gn!reader#sakusa imagine#sakusa haikyuu#haikyuu#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu imagine#haikyuu x reader fluff#haikyuu x gn!reader#haikyuu x gender neutral reader#haikyuu x yn#haikyuu x you#haikyuu x y/n
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