dodgecars1-blog

[fieryncbles]

If you saw me add Castle muses here... no you didn't 😅

[qqueenofhades]

Good Omens Season 2: Some Thoughts (and also Screaming)

First, /screams

Second, obligatory disclaimer that this meta contains MAJOR SPOILERS for all six episodes. If you somehow have managed to remain virginally unspoiled, look away now, scroll past, or add "good omens s2" and "good omens spoilers" to your block list, as those are the tags I have been using for all posts and reblogs.

Third, /screams more

Okay okay okay. Deep breaths.

Anyway, so, uh, how about all that, huh? First, the good thing about the tone of the season overall was that it felt considerably darker and more adult, in a good way. We didn't have the precocious kiddies, the kitsch and literally-comphet Anathema and Newt, the so-clever narration, etc. All that was gone, which makes sense when you consider that a) the end of last season saw them reboot into an entirely new universe, and b) the fact that God has gone silent is, in fact, a major plot point for the season. We don't have Her slyly telling us the story, or indeed anything, and everyone is left to make their own judgments and take their own actions. Which, obviously, gets them into a lot of trouble, especially when Metatron (the Voice of God, aka someone acting in the belief that they're speaking for God and therefore doing terrible harm) swoops in with the ultimate buzzkill at the end of episode 6. But we'll get to that.

The downside was that the main, present-day plot (hiding Gabriel in the bookshop and trying to get Nina and Maggie to fall in love) was fairly thin, felt stretched out and at times weirdly paced, and otherwise existed mostly to get us to That Ending and the setup for season 3. But the ending was so damn good (if obviously, very painful) that I can't be TOO mad, not least because we spent six episodes with them just making absolutely no pretense about the whole thing being as incredibly homosexual as possible. I'll be honest: I did not think they were going to actually, explicitly go there. Neil Gaiman has been so consistent about "your interpretations are valid and you're welcome to read it however you want, but the only canon is what's on screen," which I think is frankly a good thing (not least since the Neil GAYman Cinematic Universe is consistently very, very good to us queers), that I just... didn't quite think they'd pull the trigger. Sir Terry is dead and can't have active input, this is based on a book published 30 years ago, maybe they didn't want to make it LIKE THAT... etc. I certainly hoped, but I didn't really think they would.

Uh. Well.

As I said in my various semi-coherent liveblog posts, I honestly don't think there was a single straight person in the entire season, among both major and background characters. Aziraphale/Crowley and Maggie/Nina are the obvious paralleling couples, but Beelzebub (using "they" pronouns and addressed as "Lord" despite presenting as femme/femme-adjacent) is clearly nonbinary and therefore also queer, and the countless gay/queer side characters were just /chefs kiss. From Job's son making a sassy pass at Aziraphale, to the random Scottish goon with Grindr on his phone (which he then gives to Aziraphale, because what is subtlety), to the interracial couple with the trans spouse at the Pride and Prejudice ball, there was just a lot of casual, unremarked, non-story-critical queer representation visible at every turn. It's like the NGCU saw the bigots wailing about Sandman season 1 being extremely gay and went CHALLENGE ACCEPTED, LET'S MAKE GOOD OMENS 2 EVEN MORE GAY.

God bless.

Obviously, Jon Hamm as Amnesia!Gabriel stole the show (he was SO fucking funny) and it was also incredibly fun to watch Miranda Richardson repurposed as a scheming demon. Nina Sosanya also reappeared as Nina the coffee shop owner, which leads us into the Maggie-and-Nina subplot. They're obviously, wildly, incredibly clearly an analogue for Aziraphale and Crowley themselves, but they're also each, crucially, a mix of both. On the surface, Maggie is Aziraphale: the plump, blonde, earnest, sweet-natured one owning a slightly dated book music shop and somewhat clueless about emotional nuances, while Nina is (also on the surface) Crowley, the hard-edged dark loner who doesn't want to open herself up to people or be spotted caring. But emotionally, Maggie is Crowley: the one openly pining, clearly besotted, only wanting to hang around their crush and do whatever they can to make themselves useful, while Nina is Aziraphale. Interested but reticent, attracted but conflicted, trapped in an abusive relationship with a demanding offscreen "lover" (Lindsay/Heaven) who tries to constantly control and shame them without ever offering much, if anything in return. By the end, they bring themselves around to what Maggie/Crowley are offering, but by then, well. We've got a lot more problems on our hands.

As I also said in my earlier posts, this entire thing has always been a metaphor for religion, queerness, and what religion -- especially abusive, fundamentalist, organized religion -- does to queer people, but they really cranked the FUCK out of that metaphor this season. Aziraphale is guilt-tripped, controlled, and shamed for his attraction to Crowley at every turn. He is torn between his imagined duty to Heaven, in all its ignorant, uncaring, bureaucratic, gratuitously cruel system that he still insists on seeing the best in because he can't bear the alternative, and the chaotic and sometimes grey but genuinely more good morality that Crowley offers him. (Can I just say, we were explicitly shown that the two of them together doing "just a little miracle" are more powerful than Heaven AND Hell combined.) And at the end, he's told that the only way he can be with Crowley -- what Metatron explicitly blackmails him with -- is if they both go back to heaven, submit themselves to the cruel system again and give up everything that has made them who they are: their home in London, their human friends, their reliance on each other, their independence, their own ways of doing things. You can be queer in this (religious) framework, but only the limited, watered-down, controlled, controllable, constantly-under-supervision kind of queer, which relies on both you and your lover "converting" back to the true faith. And if you don't cooperate, they will literally kidnap you, lie to you, manipulate you, take you from your soulmate, and force you right back into doing the one thing (destroying the world) that you never, ever wanted to do in the first place, because in their minds, that is still better than this. It's for your own good.

Ouch.

And the thing is: that's why the ending a) hits so hard and b) is so fucking painful, because of course Aziraphale agrees. He has no conception of being able to defy Heaven on his own; he has always, always needed Crowley for that. In the flashbacks, when Aziraphale is faced with an order from Heaven that he desperately does not want to carry out (such as letting all Job's children get killed), he still relies completely on Crowley to "outsmart the rules" and find a better way. Crowley is A Crafty Demon; that's what he does, and so Aziraphale rationalizes it to himself that therefore that must be fine. Even in season 1, when he really didn't want the Apocalypse to happen but initially thought it was his duty as a good Heaven footsoldier, he relied on Crowley to talk him out of it and allow him to do what he really wants instead. That's their whole dynamic in a nutshell, as exemplified in that scene in episode 2, where Crowley tempts Aziraphale with the "pleasures of the flesh" while sprawled on his back in Ravish Me mode like the giant walking gay disaster that he is. (Sorry, buddy. That beard. Can't do it.) Everything that Aziraphale's existence is, that makes him who he is, that he loves and cherishes the most (in this case, food and wine) comes from Crowley. Everything else is just background noise.

Throughout the season, what we see is Aziraphale increasingly coming around to the fantasy of being with Crowley. He's coy and flirty; he talks about "our car" and expects Crowley will let him (which he does); he wants to have a Jane Austen ball and for them to dance together (oh my heart); he even thinks, at the crucial moment, that the best way for them to be together is to go back to heaven just like they were in the beginning, once more perfect angels, as if those entire six thousand years of struggle and grief and pining and separation and falling didn't happen. And Crowley -- poor, poor, brave, devoted, heartbroken Crowley -- has just heard for the first time in said six thousand years that actually telling the person you love how you feel is an option. Maggie and Nina tell them point-blank that their whole stupid plan failed because people aren't chess pieces who can be moved and automatically achieve the desired result. And of course this gobsmacks the dearest and dumbest Ineffable Husbands, because they can't conceive of anything else. People are chess pieces in the Great War of Heaven and Hell; Aziraphale and Crowley themselves are chess pieces who have been desperately trying to get out of being moved by external forces, but that doesn't change the fact that that's what they are. They don't have volition or agency aside from that which they can sneak for themselves in brief and stolen moments. That's it.

Until, well. It's not it. They discover that this whole would-be war is actually an elaborate ruse to cover up another angel-demon romance, that of Gabriel and Beelzebub. (I'll be honest, I'm 99% sure they did this storyline because they saw the fans crackshipping them, but I appreciate a fictional narrative that values and incorporates its fans' input, rather than trying to constantly "trick" or "outsmart" them or "do what they don't expect.") And Gabriel and Beelzebub get to be together, but only by leaving their world forever. They have to desert their homes, their structures, even their own identities, and never return. And Crowley and Aziraphale are so rooted in their "precious, perfect, fragile" life in their little corner of Soho, with their bookshop and their Bentley and their dining at the Ritz (which they didn't get to do in the end because METATRON /shakes fist), that that just doesn't work. Neither of them can conceive of doing that. So Aziraphale thinks "go back to heaven and try to make the terrible system do some good and take what we can in terms of being together" and Crowley just... pours out his heart. He's ready to fucking propose. He barely stops himself from saying something to the effect of "I want to spend eternity with you." He begs, he pleads with Aziraphale to go away not in the literal sense, but the emotional/metaphysical: to finally break this toxic dependence on Heaven and tell them once and for all where to stick it. And because he is desperate to make Aziraphale understand, he finally throws all caution to the winds and recklessly, desperately, adoringly kisses him, the one thing he's wanted to do for ages and...

Gets. Shot. Down.

Ugghhhhh. I'm suffering all over again. Aziraphale wants him, hungers for it, for them, and yet he's been so abused and so conditioned by Heaven (he's still blithely repeating to Crowley's face that "Hell are the bad guys!") that he just cannot accept that kind of desperate, blind, limitless, lawless affection. He even forgives Crowley for this "transgression," just to really twist the knife, and Crowley just can't take it, can't face up to how terribly this has all gone up in flames, after he went to heaven trying to find the answer for Gabriel's situation. Gabriel, who he fucking hates. Gabriel, who tried to kill the angelic being he loves (and for which Crowley has transparently never forgiven him). And yet at one pouty puppy-eyed look from Aziraphale and a warning that whoever is harboring Gabriel might be in danger, Crowley leaps headlong into the Bentley again and rushes to the rescue while "Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy" is blaring. He stoutly protects Gabriel; he does a miracle to disguise him; he lets him have hot chocolate and stay in the bookshop; he guards him from the literal demonic horde outside. All because of Aziraphale. That's it. And then, it still doesn't work. Not only that, Gabriel's absence and decision to forego Armageddon gives Heaven the one tool they finally need to take Aziraphale away from him.

I repeat: Ugghhhhhhhh.

(In a good way. Ngl, I love this angst. This is the kind of angst my brain Thrives on, the Thematic Parallel Romantic Character Arc kind. Nom nom nom. But also: AGONY.)

I also need to talk about Aziraphale driving the Bentley, aside from the obvious metaphor of him being in Crowley's home while Crowley is in his. Last season, we had the "you go too fast for me, Crowley" scene with them sitting in said Bentley, which was Aziraphale saying he's not ready for a relationship. In this season, as noted above, we see Aziraphale increasingly embracing the potential fantasy of being with Crowley. But here's the catch: when he's in the Bentley this time, driving it, setting the pace, acclimating to the idea, he's driving his own idea of what the Bentley/his relationship with Crowley is. It's not the real thing. He plays classical music; he supplies himself sweets; he turns it yellow; he drives too slow. Crowley calls him in another old-married-couple snitfit to complain that Aziraphale's messed it up, but what Aziraphale has actually messed up (or will, by the end of the season) is far more consequential than just a car. He's changed the entire shape of their relationship to the one he thinks can make it work, and it just doesn't. It has to be them -- "we could have been... Us" -- or it's not even close to the truth. It's not worth their time.

I repeat: Ouch.

Speaking of the writers validating fan theories, I know we all picked up and screamed about on Crowley's idea of Peak Romance Guaranteed To Fall In Love being sheltering from rain and gazing into each other's eyes, which confirms that that poor bastard was indeed ass-over-teakettle gone as soon as he met Aziraphale (again) in Eden. I also need to talk about the 1941 redux, because wow. This time, the danger comes from Hell, which we see being its usual self: gleefully, pointlessly cruel, pettily backbiting, dirty, sniping, tedious, endless, determined to mindlessly destroy because They're The Bad Guys and they like it. So they blackmail, spy on, miracle-block, illicitly photograph, and try to prove that Aziraphale and Crowley are secretly a couple, right after Aziraphale himself has just had the Light From Heaven realization that he's in love (which we all also picked up on in s1). They're forcibly outing them (to speak of more Religious Queer Trauma) in order to break them up/get them into trouble with their authorities/families. Aziraphale and Crowley manage to escape it mostly by dumb luck, but Crowley having an altogether freakout, hands shaking, barely able to actually point the gun at Aziraphale even in the knowledge that it's supposed to be fake, is just... wow. He can't even fathom the idea of ever trying to destroy him in earnest, especially when he knows on some level that Aziraphale also finally just realized his own feelings. So I just need to --

/screams

Anyway, Aziraphale's entire arc this season is doing what he thinks is the right thing and then inadvertently causing harm and damage as a result. In the Edinburgh flashbacks (live slug reaction of me: SEAN BIGGERSTAFF???!!) he tries to stop Elspeth from stealing bodies and gets Morag killed and Crowley drinking the laudanum to save him (though that part with David Tennant just riffing left and right, using his natural Scottish accent, and being Tiny Crowley/Huge Crowley was hilarious). He invites his neighbors to a Pride and Prejudice ball and makes them all the target for demonic attack. And of course the Job episode: Aziraphale, horrified at Heaven's callous cruelty, desperate not to get Job's children killed, willing to go along with Crowley's tricks to save them somehow, tempted by Crowley to do the fucknasty with their angel bits eat some food and decide that he likes it. As mentioned, the whole thing about God being silent this season is a major thematic choice. The only time we see/hear God is Her communing with Job from afar. Aziraphale enviously imagines the answers he must be getting (he's not, he's baffled and perplexed), while Crowley longs beyond words to even have the opportunity to ask the question: why? Why do this? Why is this your plan?

And of course, this absence culminates in the Metatron, the Voice of God, the person arrogantly claiming that they're speaking for God and know exactly what Heaven wants, being able to seize Aziraphale by the short hairs and absolutely fuck him over. Gabriel is gone/decommissioned/eloping with Beelzebub, so Heaven needs a Supreme Leader (God apparently is no longer a factor in the equation). And what this Supreme Leader needs to do is finally unleash the Apocalypse that Gabriel decided to pass on (the Second Coming). Aziraphale needs to be punished, taken away from Crowley's influence/love, and put back under Heaven's explicit control, so Metatron spots a great opportunity to do all three at once. It's not an accident that the exact tool he uses to get Aziraphale to agree is "now you can actually be with Crowley!" Aziraphale and Crowley have been trying so hard to hide out from their respective Head Offices, but now all at once, there's this seemingly miraculous opportunity for them not to have to do that anymore! They can be together! They can be sanctioned by Heaven! They can give up all this hiding and sneaking around and lying! Isn't that better?

... As long as, of course, they give up absolutely everything that makes them who they are. No big deal. Minor catch. Probably nothing.

Metatron doesn't let Aziraphale have time to escape, or think it over, or reflect, or anything. He pressures Aziraphale to come with him immediately, or be once more subject to Heaven's implicit wrath/destruction/judgment. Believe me, Aziraphale already KNOWS he's made a huge mistake, as soon as he hears what Metatron really wants: bringing him back to unleash the Apocalypse that Aziraphale and Crowley have given up literally everything to prevent. He doesn't need time to reflect. By the time my man is in that elevator, he's well aware of what a catastrophic misjudgment he's made, and yet --

Aziraphale needs this. He has, as noted, literally always relied on Crowley outsmarting Heaven's cruel orders in order to prevent himself from having to do them. He's relied on Crowley rescuing him ("rescuing me makes him so happy," WELL BUB, IT'S BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS NEED IT). He admits to Crowley's face that "I need you!" He hates Heaven's sadistic meanness, but he has absolutely no framework, in and of himself, to defy it. When the rubber hits the road, he will crumple and try to go along with it, and now he's been put in a position where he's going to have to stand up, defy Heaven, and make the break once and for all BY HIMSELF. He doesn't have Crowley around to do it for him, he has no support, he is going to arrive in Heaven and be shuttled straight off to the Apocalypse 2.0 War Room. The only way he gets out of this is if he actively stands up, if he chooses himself and Crowley and their life, and he has to.

The thing is:

Aziraphale has lived his entire eternal existence Looking Up. Up is the direction of Goodness and Heaven. Up is where Angels go. Up is where Aziraphale comes from and where Demons and Hell are not. But now he's going Up, in a position to take over the whole shebang, and it's the last thing he wants.

So he's going to have to come back Down.

He's going to have to Fall. He's going to have to get back Below at all costs. He's going to have to finally, once and for all, understand what led Crowley to make the choice to leave Heaven and never come back. It's only then that they can possibly be together on any kind of conscious, equal, deliberate footing, claim their own agency, reject Heaven AND Hell, and try to really earn that South Downs cottage and that happy-ever-after, and it's gonna hurt so good.

Now if you will excuse me, /screams

[bildads-shoes]

I feel like Crowley has often played the role of 'philosophy teacher' in his dynamic with Aziraphale, and I think this is probably what ultimately led to most of the backlash against Aziraphale immediately post-Season 2, especially from casual viewers.

The Resurrectionists episode is super obvious about it, big Philosophy 101 energy, but it's of course a big running theme in the show, often addressing the classic philosophical/theological question 'if God/Heaven are all-loving and all-powerful, why do they make us suffer?'

In these situations Aziraphale is often needing to learn to break free of his black and white thinking. Of course, we, the viewers, agree that morality is not black and white, so we start trusting Crowley's ability in the teacher role.

And it happens again in the Final Fifteen: we cringe at the stark oversimplification of 'you're the bad guys', we agree that Heaven and Hell are 'toxic' with their rigid rules and roles. Having seen so many examples of this dynamic at this point, this can instinctively feel like a continuation of Crowley's 'morality is not black and white' lessons. Therefore it makes sense to me that the instinct can be to agree that Crowley 'understand[s] a whole lot better' than Aziraphale.

I could go on for days about why I feel Aziraphale's character is so much more nuanced than that, but I want to focus on Crowley here. When you start trusting someone in that 'teacher' role, it's easy to assume they have it all figured out. That's why the whole 'Crowley is an unreliable narrator when it comes to his Fall' confirmation always had me so intrigued.

It seems (to me at least) that Crowley probably made some very complex, grey choices as an angel (choices that were not as bad as Heaven feels, but not as good as Crowley likes to think, to paraphrase NG) and he is yet to accept the reality of those actions. To me, it feels like he's coped with that cognitive dissonance by entirely detaching from that identity at times, almost as though those were the actions and experiences of another person (the angel you knew is not me) whilst returning to the first person in moments of vulnerability (I only ever asked questions). Judging by the hints at Angel!Crowley throughout S2, I think (hope) we'll learn more about the Fall in S3, and thus see him finally need to internally resolve this

I think it'll be very interesting to finally see that dynamic flip, to see Crowley in the role of the student, trying to solidify his moral code and sense of self as we have seen Aziraphale do throughout the show.

I suppose I hope that in potentially having Crowley's own struggles with morality becoming more explicit on screen in Season 3, the broad attitude towards Aziraphale and Crowley will become a bit more balanced again. I think it'll be lovely to see them grow in their understanding and acceptance of themselves and each other, and finally reach a place of joy and freedom as individuals and together. We'll always have our own personal character interpretations, and I think that's wonderful and fascinating to hear about, but at the end of the day we're all rooting for their happy ending, and I can't wait to see them finally get it.

[colleybri]

Cassian x Bix and Rebelcaptain: Please let these ships be friends !

I ‘ship’ Cassian x Bix AND Cassian x Jyn. I see there has been some conflict in the past when the “new woman” was first brought in with the series, some that remains now, and I’m both saddened and bemused by that.

Rebelcaptain for me is a canon relationship… to a certain extent. I have no doubt that these brave heroes would have ended up together had they lived. That’s why I love it… the whole beautiful tragedy of what might have been, and the loyalty that binds people together when making a sacrifice like this. Were they actually in love, in canon? For me – no. Not yet. And that’s important for my personal enjoyment of Rogue One, especially its ending. As the novelisation stresses, Cassian dies without knowing Jyn as “There wasn’t the time”. And I simply don’t believe you can love someone without knowing them . But I enjoy the idea of exploring what would have happened had they lived. They are a perfect loyal “battle couple”, definitely my favourite fanon SW couple and great to imagine together. I see Rebelcaptain also as a way of giving them the happy ending they deserved. Oh - and the chemistry between Felicity Jones and Diego Luna on-screen is absolutely electric. In short and again: I have no doubt that they would have fallen in love had they lived and would have been perfect for each other. And they are a perfect fanon ship.

(^^ And I I think this is the exact moment in canon when they both acknowledge the loss of what might have been. It’s just heartbreakingly beautiful… )

Cassian x Bix - I don’t even think of it as a ‘ship’ per se as it is a 100% canon relationship, and one that is currently ongoing as we wait for Andor S2.. It’s fascinating to me – 17 years of friendship that has occasionally blossomed into a romantic/sexual relationship. It’s a genuinely unusual set up too. I’ve read a few takes that they are “over each other” by the time of the start of the series, to which I want to say … watch again, closely! They certainly have moved on to date different people, but it’s also very clear from their interactions (especially in the intense scene in Ep 7) that there is still a lot of extremely deep feeling between them – even if some of it is very negative. In the S1 production notes, the show’s creator Tony Gilroy says that they “are meant to be together… but it’s been impossible all these years. Now, she’s done with him … he’s burnt every last bridge .” Why? The series also provides the answer – Cassian is in many ways an absolute mess at the start of the season and Bix was quite rightly fed up with him as a boyfriend. He’s completely unreliable, likes short-lived affairs (often with married women - so no risk of commitment!), isn’t working regularly and has debts all over the place. This largely stems from his “unresolved childhood trauma”. He has a fear of “leaving people behind” and despite having a lot of love to give “ is so scared of being loved”. But he and Bix nonetheless prove to be incredibly loyal friends and their love in this platonic sense clearly runs very deep indeed. They have known each other since he was 10 so she is also something like a sister figure. Bix is still very protective of Cassian and takes personal risks for him… and he finally comes to appreciate this and pay back his metaphorical debt to her in the finale. The question now is what season 2 holds for them, if anything.

(^^ I love the way she is using her fingertips to push his hand off, as if to avoid the risk of too much touch. The gesture and look that says “Please don’t try and get close to me again because we both know how bad that is for us… but I’m such a total idiot when it comes to you that I will still very unwisely go out of my way to help you, especially when you look at me like that so please just don’t”)

Does loving their messy and complicated relationship mean that I want Cassian and Bix to ‘end up together’ ? No, and the obvious additional point is that they don’t! They are both going to be very different people at the start of S2 and over the following years of the story . Bix has been traumatised; Cassian has been radicalised. And that’s just the start. Perhaps they quickly drift apart. Perhaps some kind of betrayal is involved. Perhaps one or both of them will want to commit again to a relationship, but it’s impossible because of the demands of the rebellion (like Vel /Cinta). Perhaps Bix “ends up with” someone else (Brasso, ideally, especially if they both survive the season). Perhaps they will get back together at least for a while and enjoy a little last happiness before inevitable heartbreak. Perhaps all, some or none of these. But none of that stops me from loving and appreciating what they do have, what they have had up to now, and the intriguing dynamics of when they do interact on screen. Bix x Cassian attracts me as a fanfic ship because it’s all about exploring what is there and how it came to be, which is why I currently don’t write them beyond the present time of season 1. I’m waiting to see what happens next in Canon, as it were, because that to me is an important part of writing them. Meanwhile, I’m enjoying analysing the relationship by imagining them in the past.

So for me Bix x Cassian in no way impacts on Jyn x Cassian or vice versa, especially if you apply… real life principles rather than the ideals of fandoms: “soulmates” and OTPs. Many people – most people – will have a beautifully intense and loving relationship with more than one person at different times of their lives. I’m old – trust me on this one.

^^ Both relationships in these two scenes go way beyond romance. In the first - many years of close and loyal friendship. In the second: a bond created through brave and selfless sacrifice together. And for both: Cassian’s absolute hatred of being “someone who leaves people behind”: the quality that I love best about him. And saving each other. Literally and metaphorically.

And oh… it’s beautiful. Both moments are beautiful.

Edit: I won’t do any speculating here about the content of the sizzle-reel trailers. Except to say that there’s nothing in them that detracts from the emotional power of both ships. They can continue to happily coexist. 

[iridescenttttttt]

This includes s5 spoilers!!

I think we as a fandom should talk more about how sun wukong has absolutely no self preservation, and how he has been self-sacrificial since season 1. Hi, my name is iridescent, and in this essay-

ok but in all seriousness, I have evidence from every season of him doing this, and I will be analyzing it and informing about it Meticulously.

I also have a couple of tangents about him protecting MK in here. I just like the detail of him always doing that, especially considering how he does it.

it wasn’t just season 5 where he was willing to sacrifice himself, season 5 was just the only season where it was outright blatantly stated that he was going to sacrifice himself.

(^Image taken from S1 EP9, Macaque)

this image in and of itself is fairly minor. Because we know he’s going to be okay. he is immortal, and compared to MK, an explosion most definitely will not do much, if anything, to him. and I’m sure he’s fully aware of this (which is probably part of the reason he shields MK with his body so much, there are SO many example of him doing this)

Still, even the fact his immediate instinct was to throw himself in harms way to protect MK is pretty sacrificial in and of itself. I’m 100% certain that even if it could hurt him, he would still protect MK like this.

(^ image taken from S2 EP10, this is the end)

Wukong here is visibly weakened and injured. It was stated early in season 3 that he was weak, and even at the end of season 2, we could tell. ESPECIALLY when he grabbed MK and escaped from LBD on his nimbus cloud. By the time they found their friends, it was deteriorating, and they quiet literally crash landed onto the ship.

But despite his obviously weakened state, he was still throwing himself in front of MK, protecting him from harm, and shielding him with his body. His first thought was to throw himself in harms way, and this time, there is a very real possibility that he probably can get injured! He’s weak, his powers are failing, there is no way he would have the energy to fight LBD. Not in the state he is in at this very moment, and MK isn’t, either. He knows this- I know he does, because instead of picking a fight, he grabs MK and runs. He even admits that he isn’t in any shape to face her. However, even though he knows he would hardly be able to put up a fight as it stands right now, he is still willing to throw himself in front of MK. (Which also directly supports what I said above! It does not matter if he can get hurt if not, he will still put himself in harms way to keep MK safe)

Similarly to above, he was fully willing to find and reforge the samadhi fire on his own, despite his weakened state- to keep the others out of harms way, because they are mortal and he is not. Still, even despite him being immortal, he’s trying to reforge the samadhi fire- one of the rare things that has the ability to actually hurt him. Wukong knows this, and he is still willing to do this alone. Even though he is obviously injured, and weakened, and there is a very real possibility the samadhi fire could kill him, he is willing to do this on his own. Because they are mortals- if the fire can kill him, then it can definitely kill them, too.

(^ Image taken from S3, EP1, on the run)

season 3 is, in my opinion, where his self-sacrificial tendencies and complete lack of self preservation becomes a lot more obvious. So, fair warning, season 3 is probably going to be a long one.

Wukong is fully willing to risk himself to get the map. And it isn’t like he doesn’t know the risks of forcing his way through the Barrie. Ne Zha even warns him, and says that if he forces his way through the barrier, they could both be destroyed. And honestly? If Wukong wasn’t, like, 7x immortal, there is a very real possibility that he would’ve been destroyed, then and there. And while, yeah, Ne Zha didn’t die, either, he also wasnt the one actively breaking through the barrier. I’m sure if Ne Zha was the one breaking through, he probably would’ve died. Even then, Wukong was severely weakened after this (as seen and talked about above!), he knew the risks and he still took them. He knew he could die, but if it meant saving the world and keeping MK and his friends safe? He would do it. And, again, even after being fully aware of his weakened state, he immediately ran to the protection of MK as soon as he realized he was in danger.

(^images taken from S3 EP10, The Samadhi Fire)

I’ve already talked about how often he is shown to use his body to protect MK from danger, but here, specifically, I want to mention be we are specifically shown a scene of him moving his arm to protect MK from danger. Especially considering the danger is the samadhi fire- something that can actually harm him. This is different from most other times he’s doing this, because this time, he can actually get hurt.

This is one of, in my opinion, one the most obvious examples of him being a self sacrificing idiot with very little self preservation (/aff)

his entire plan, from the very beginning, was to try and take the samadhi fire out of Mei (because he never wanted her to be harmed- he’s spent the entirety of season 2 and 3 trying to protect MK and his friends, he never one intentionally hurt them) and put it in himself. Think about that. The samadhi fire is something that can harm him- kill him, and he knows that. He knows that extremely well. His entire plan could lead to his death, and he’s aware of that. And the same thing goes for when he was getting the map in the first place- both times, he was fully aware that there is a possibility he could die from this. He doesn’t care, though. If it protects the people he cares about, he’s going to do it- even if he dies in the process.

once again, we are specifically shown a scene of him trying to protect MK. His immediate thought has always been to take the brunt of the fire, and keep MK from danger- I fully think, had there not been a shock factor to MK literally running straight in, he would have ran in after.

Again, in this scene he has no self preservation, and he is very self sacrificial. His entire plan from the very beginning hitched on having a weapon, something powerful enough to stop the lady bone demon, except that plan has failed, and now, there is no weapon. So his new solution? Stop LBD himself.

If he was truly confident he could beat her again, then why did he go looking for the samadhi fire, instead of going to immediately fight her and stop her? He’s desperate, he knows how bad the situation is, and he still isn’t sure if he can even beat her. He’s still willing to try, if it means protecting MK and his friends, and saving the world. He’s going into the fight. Alone. No backup, no plan, no samadhi fire. (And we know this goes wrong, too) He is fully aware of this! He knows he’s going into a fight he’s might not come out of. Everyone else knows this, too- Ne Zha even points out the chances of him surviving are slim.

(^ image taken from S4, EP1, familiar tales)

once again, his immediate reaction (even when being faced with his trauma) is to protect and save MK. He knows what the scroll is, and he knows what’s going to happen if he gets stuck inside of it- despite that, he still sacrifices himself to ensure MK doesn’t get stuck inside of the scroll. He lets himself get sucked into it. He is willing to face all of the mistakes he’s made and the trauma he’s endured to protect MK from having to go through the same.

WARNING YOU ALL AGAIN!!! S5 SPOILERS BEGIN NOW!!

Let’s all be honest here, they’re both lacking in the self preservation department. They are not lacking in the self sacrifice department, though, I’ll tell you that much! This entire fight, they are very blatant about how they are, quite literally, fighting over who gets to sacrifice themself. There isn’t much to say here that wouldn’t be stating the obvious- neither of them want eachother to sacrifice themselves, they both want to be the sacrifice.

TLDR: Sun Wukong has been self sacrificial and has had a disregard for his own preservation since we were introduced to him. This has only become more apparent as he grew closer to MK, and as his character has developed.

is all of this already very obvious? Mmmaybe???? I’m not too sure. Did I make a couple of reaches a couple of times? Mmmmmmmaaaaaybe. Is this an excuse to infodump and talk about sun wukong? Yeah. Am I sorry? No.

[ishallgivehimupforever]

Here We go again Bellarke warriors, if you can hear me, it's been about 1680 days since I stopped caring (or so I thought)

I hadn't been to tumblr in years, before I decided to give the 100 a rewatch in June of this year, as I had given up somewhere around the start of season 5 (I remember hating the LONG ass timeskip teased at the end of S4, I guess some other media must have swallowed me during hiatus, and when I tried to give that season a chance I vividly remember 1) I couldn't see shit on my screen 2) I hated what the timeskip did to the established relationships) and so I dropped it for good, looking back I almost can't believe I could just...not finish it like that because let me tell you I did NOT fuck about Clarke and Bellamy, and Raven, and Monty, and probably some other characters back in 2015-2016. I think I maybe did not appreciate season 4 enough at the time it was airing (because I think binge-watching is very flattering for that season, watching it live I remember it was frustrating to watch the characters go on side quests in 4A) but now knowing what the character arcs are and where it was going makes it my second-favorite season. BUT, I digress, wow. This is meant to be a rambling, incohisive love letter to the compelling relationship between Bellamy and Clarke. I warn you, they truly do not fucking leave you as it turns out. I would go to the trenches for them back in my fandom days in 2015-17, and I realised, after binge-waching the show over 4 sleepless nights (seasons 1-6, which are the only seasons in existence, obviously)that I STILL just FUCKING CARE SO MUCH. I NEVER CARED ABOUT FICTIONAL CHARACTERS SO MUCH AS CARE FOR THESE TWO SEPARATELY, AND AS SOULMATES. Because let me tell you, Clarke and Bellamy, they fucking love each. Like actual, happens-only-in-romances LOVE. It is frankly INSANE how JRoth, K*m Shum and other managed to gaslight me over some of the bellarke scenes in S2-S3 as to make me think it's in my (and thousand's of fans') head WHEN IT IS SO FUCKING OBVIOUS FROM SCORE, EDITING CHOICES, LONGING LOOK SHOTS, HANDS SHOTS, LINES, AND FINALLY, ACTING AND DIRECTION THAT THESE TWO ARE LOVERS.

I have never, ever, before or since, followed two characters who were so compatible, so equal, so trusting in each other, so open with one another, so mindful of the other's emotions and needs, so so so made for each other, that it is no surprise to me that they are top 10 F/M pairing on AO3. Because Bellamy and Clarke would fall in love in every imaginable scenario, in every universe, across time. I am not usually that cheesy or cringy, but it is true. I could not put my finger on why they are my absolute favorite to read fanfic for and then it occurred to me. That as long as the hands of fate put these two in proximity of each other, it;s a done deal. That chemistry transcends the limits of a single tv show. The depth with how Clarke and Bellamy love each other honestly makes me pause for breath sometimes. It is not just the iconic, famous bellarke scenes, but also the quiet moments.

Like in 6x05 or 6x06 (cant remember) when Clarke's body was stolen by Josephine after her one-night stand with Cillian. (stay with me) Bellamy, unaware that Clarke isn't herself at that point, comes over to chat, he's clearly at least a bit jealous over her sleeping with Cillian, and yet he says "happiness looks good on you" with that wide, earnest smile. And just wow. How must he love her, to be so utterly happy for her own happiness that has in that instance nothing to do with him. so selfless. well, selfless is basically Bellamy's middle name.

Or how in season 4, after a lot of the characters and at times the narrative wanted to push this idea on Clarke that she is the sole leader of her people, gets right back on track to her co-leader dynamic with Bellamy, constantly checking with him, considering his input, and respecting choices that she herself would maybe not make (releasing the ensalved arkadians and grounders vs ensuring they get a machine necessary to generate water) but always understanding that these choices agree with his core values, and she loves him for it.

This post is way too long. I love Bellamy. I love Clarke. People often use the 'MY PARENTS" about ships on twitter, and you know what, in my case that's kinda true with bellarke. I met these characters when I was 15. I am 25 now, and with an adult perspective to my surprise I found their relationship even more profound then I remembered, and I was insanse about them already. They are truly THE power couple of all time. I miss the 100, If you wanna ramble about it together, feel welcome to send me ask, I'd love to have an excuse to share some of my (sometimes unpopular) opinions lol.

[crazyaboutto]

Tbh I’m surprised by Haladriel/Saurondriel fandom caring about Elrond kiss. It’s canonical that Elrond will become her son-in-law. There wasn’t anything romantic in that kiss. It was just awkward.

I get being upset about how season 2 promos and trop social media marketing towards Sauron and Galadriel chemistry. There is still one more episode in s2 so who knows, maybe we will get something that will greatly anger lorebros. Even if we don’t, we still have fanon.

But at the same time, it’s also obvious that Sauron and Galadriel won’t end up together (as final pairing) so show making them canon or not wouldn’t matter. It’d just give us fanfic/art material. And I’d appreciate two attractive people with insane chemistry kissing.

I didn’t think people shipped this ship since it will end up as canon. Antis asks and posts take up space in the tag recently. It’s so pointless, just like all the antis in other fandoms.

Who cares if Sauron is evil? Go King, be evil, who cares, just do it.

What does it matter if they don’t end up together? It won’t stop me from shipping them.

Sauron’s crimes is fictional but the chemistry Sauron and Galadriel have on screen is very real. I absolutely love the opposing morality, motives crashing, internal conflict and compatibility with each other. It’s sexy and hot. They just have a presence when they are on the screen together. Are they gonna fight? Are they gonna fuck? Both??? Would it be better if they just fuck or at least kiss once to resolve the tension? Absolutely.

But it not happening on screen won’t stop my imagination along with many writers and artists. Only thing we as a fandom need to do is to support artists and writers so fandom can grow.

I’ve always shipped non canon pairings (maybe only canon active one is Katniss/Peeta from thg). So I don’t mind living with fanon. It makes fandom more creative to come up with scenarios and all in my experience.

[ok-sims]

Things in Good Omens 2 I still find weird after maaaaany rewatches

Yep, brace yourselves, it's exactly what's in the title:

Maggie making the spelling mistake ("urgrency") in one of the very first scenes of S2.

It is in the very first scene set in the present day. It is the first time we are presented to Maggie. And the spelling mistakes being very much connected to demons all through the season (specially in The Ball episode, with the note about the "angles" and Shax spelling "T-O-S-T-E", not to mention Furfur mispelling Aziraphale's name in 1941).

It is stands out so much because Maggie's mispelling is never brought up again, but the demons' is. And again, it was the audience's first contact with Maggie (even if she is offscreen). It might be just a callback joke (which does not make much sense to me, to be honest), it might be just red herring, or it might be to reinforce the "Maggie is a mirror to Crowley" theory (which does not make much sense to me either, because while Crowley is/was demon, we never see him making spelling mistakes himself).

I'm honestly at loss about what was the intention here. Seens to specific to be just random, given the demons do it many times. My best guess is that it is pure and intentional red herring, to mess with us. But then again, what for?

Miss Cheng (specially in E5S2, "The Ball")

Since my first watch, the brief scene when Miss Cheng is entering the Bookshop for Aziraphale's thinly disguised excuse to have a Jane Austen ball, she has a very... particular look in her face. It is when the weather is getting darkier e gloomier, resembling Michael Jackson's "Thriller" videoclip, because Shax and her "legion" of demons are arriving. The thing is, Miss Cheng does not look afraid at all, or even like she is suspecting something is going on. Miss Cheng looks suspicious herself! I feel like this scene is off in so many levels. First of all, it did not need to be included at all. So why add this scene to the final cut? Miss Cheng does not have a very clear role in the narrative, while all the other shopkeepers have at least something that not only sets them apart from everyone else, but adds something to the narrative and/or callbacks something else in the series.

Beside the obvious Nina and Maggie, Ms Sandwich brings to the table the comical relief, Mr Brown is there to set the excuse for the Jane Austen ball, Mr Arnold provides the fancy classical music for the ball AND the Doctor Who jokes, Justine is an excuse to bring up Aziraphale's bad French again, and give us a callback to the Bastille scene in S1, and Mutt is a callback to the magic shop shown in the zombie minisode.

But Miss Cheng on the other hand brings none of those things. We don't even get to see what is her bussiness. Of course, her scene discussing Ms Sandwich's work is a delight, but honestly, it could have been any other character asking about Ms Sandwich's job. And opportunity to have Ms Sandwich ask what Miss Cheng's work was there, but it was not taken.

Now, the only other scene Miss Cheng is in focus is in the very end of E6S2, when Maggie and Nina decide to sit down with Crowley to have The Talk. Nina asks Miss Cheng to look after the coffeeshop for a few minutes. Again, seens kinda random to have Miss Cheng there, and I really think this specific scene, by itself, might not have any further meaning. But when viewed along her other scenes (and specific lack of better fleshing out, which was given to all other shopkeepers), it just seens weird. Again, might just be a red herring to mess with us, but Miss Cheng is presented in a very sus way.

Aziraphale not having a replacement

Odd phrasing, I know, but I could not find better words to describe it. We are presented very early on to Shax, who is replacing Crowley in his former job in Hell. Shax is an important character all through the season, yet we never get a hint at who is replacing Aziraphale's job vacancy. We don't even get a hint if there is a replacement, or if it was decided Heaven would not be replacing him. We just get radio silence about who is Heaven's representative in London now, or if something happed to that position and why. Maybe if Shax simply did not exist, it wouldn't have bothered me. But since she does, and it is made clear many times that she has Crowley's former job, it stands out to me that nothing is ever said or even alluded about Aziraphale's former job position.

There are some other things that stand out to me, but these are the more obvious ones to me. I would be delighted to hear other people's takes on these matters, as I might have missed something. Oh well, I guess here is my first piece of Good Omens meta.

[starbylers]

I will always struggle to understand ‘Mike and El were planned endgame from the beginning’ when the show was originally intended as an anthology and they weren’t supposed to get this “happy romantic ending”? (I know this has been said but bare with me).

Yeah, they changed their direction during the making of s1 but the Duffers’ initial conception of the ending was for El to die: the original idea was never a story of this super deep romantic couple in love that people have turned it into. They didn’t sit there while brainstorming and be like yeah we want to tell a story about a middle-school-esque relationship that actually is true love and they stay together forever:

And of course ideas shift and develop over time, but the implication that M*leven endgame was inevitable and obvious and conceptualised from the very start is so inaccurate. They just wanted the story to be more open-ended to allow for a s2 continuation, that doesn’t mean they changed how they envisioned these characters and their dynamics. A genuine love story clearly wasn’t what the Duffers were interested in telling here, hence the ET/Elliott comparisons.

That was always the vibe they were going for with Mike and El. You can tell that when they discovered they would get more seasons, they took the roots of that M*leven puppy crush storyline and expanded on it to realistically depict the effects of both their trauma on how they perceive each other and (in s3) the comedic disaster that would be these two characters trying to date.

Like they find out they’re getting season 2, and they’re just like yep let’s keep these two apart until the last episode and have Mike bonding with and protecting his (gay, from the very first pitch) best friend. People loved M*leven after s1, and the Duffers must’ve known it would be a risk keeping them apart the entire time, but they wanted the Mike and Will storyline for a reason, so they did it!

Like actually process that when they discovered they were getting another season, romantic M*leven was never a priority for them. Showcasing Mike’s survivors guilt and El’s trauma over losing the first person to provide her real safety definitely was, but they nipped any opportunity of developing their relationship in the bud. And instead made Byler inseparable, giving them numerous sweet and intimate moments. They know what they’re doing.

[shutupineedtothink]

I’m still s h o o k that people do not see exactly what’s going on with Moiraine throughout s2 and people are dragging her and dismissing her without an ounce of empathy for what she’s been through, so I’m bringing the full character analysis for y’all (and my own sanity). So this is a big ol in defense of Moiraine (and Lan) rant, so if that’s not your thing, scroll down now. Here we go.

I just… The AUDACITY some people have to look at Moiraine and be angry and pissed off at how she acts in S2. To not feel any sympathy and empathy for her and the monumental weight she’s under every goddamn day. There’s a reason we start with that bath scene in 2x01 – it shows you everything. How she’s just going through the motions. How she only lets herself cry when she’s alone in the water. How she literally curls into the fetal position and looks reproachfully devastated over her knees as she hugs them to her chest in a futile attempt at comfort. Not to mention the direct comparison/callback with the bath scene in 1x01, where she has both her power and Lan still, and now she’s lost her connection to both of them.

How is it not painfully obvious that every interaction she has after that bath scene is infused with a trauma response? Let’s tally up the devastation she’s been through. At the end of S1, she was 1. banished from the sisterhood of the white tower (they literally turned their backs on her), 2. was separated AGAIN from the love of her life fully expecting to never see her again, 3. was cut off from the other love of her life (that would be Lan, for the record) which is all the worse bc it’s her own fault for masking the bond, 4. was fully made to believe she’s been stilled from the one power aka an integral part of her being, AND 5. she’s “failed” her mission at the eye of the world – the one goal she’s had for the last 20 years, her life’s purpose – because instead of locking away the dark one she’s directly caused Rand to set Ishamael free.

You don’t think it's justified to be a little pissed off and standoffish after all of that? You don’t think the weight of that guilt, grief, pain, and loss is a reasonable cause to be distant, cold, harsh, having a little bit of a death wish? That’s TRAUMA, baby! She is absolutely wrecked, and it’s coming out in the worst way in her interactions with others (especially Lan because we’ve seen how they should be), but it’s absolutely not because she actively wants to hurt the people around her. In fact after almost every moment she lashes out at someone, we see an equally sad/grief-stricken/devastated moment from her and THAT’S the real emotion hiding underneath the anger. This woman needs therapy and understanding and patience, and does not deserve to be judged at the worst time of her life.

Ok fine, you say, but Lan IS patient and understanding with her! And she’s still an asshole to him! You’re right, Lan is absolutely trying his best and doing just about everything he can to be there for her in 2x01/2x02 (with a little help from Verin and Tomas). But 1. It’s STILL not about him, Moiraine is not obligated to respond in a certain way to her grief and pain that makes him feel better, and 2. This is Moiraine goddamn Damodred and even her trauma response is also a front to protect him, to push him away from her and what is now certainly a suicide mission to fight the dark without her powers.

This is SOOO important to really get Moiraine’s character — y’all gotta understand this: Moiraine truly loves only TWO people on the whole fucking planet: Siuan and Lan. They are also the only people who truly love her, unconditionally, with all of her flaws and imperfections. Please please ingrain that into your brain, especially for Lan, in this context. (Siuan is a whole other conversation I won’t get into at the moment.) Moiraine loves Lan, he loves her, deeply. That’s the foundation of everything they go through with each other in this season, despite what’s happening on the surface.

Once you accept that as fundamental truth, everything makes a whole lot more sense. She is a dick to him to push him away. Literally tells him he failed her to put the final nail in the coffin of driving him away, which is his worst nightmare. On the surface it seems egotistic at best, plain cruel at worst. But look underneath. Moiraine always has reasons 2, 3, 6 layers deep for everything she does.

With everyone else she’s mean to this season, namely her sister and her nephew, it’s born out of distrust (and the aforementioned trauma response). She can’t afford to trust anyone because anyone could be a dark friend. (And if they’re not a dark friend, then they become a liability and endangered.) Anything she lets slip could be used to hurt/control Rand and push them all one step closer to eternal darkness. Oh and when we see Barthanes’ true nature that turns out to be fucking justified, by the way. But I digress.

Right so why is she an asshole to Lan then? Because she doesn’t trust him? I don’t believe that for a second. These two have been on the same page, literally sharing the same headspace, for the last 20 years – she knows he’s the best person she’s ever met, the least likely to ever turn to the dark, ever. It’s an actual impossibility. So it’s not that she doesn’t trust him. She literally marvels at how courageous he must be to fight the dark with only a sword.

The true reason is: she does trust him, she does love him, and she KNOWS him. She knows that he will never leave her like this, in her darkest hour. He is both honor-bound to her (which he takes very seriously) and deeply cares for her. The problem is that now his life is in serious danger by staying with her. But there is no calmly explaining to him that he should return to the white tower for his own good and bond to another aes sedai who can actually channel, who can actually hold up her end of the partnership and protect him and heal him in return for his loyalty and sacrifice. Or better yet, find Nynaeve, who is not only ridiculously powerful and has probably the best chance of protecting him out of anyone, but who also loves him.

If Moiraine loves him and wants him safe, the ONLY option she has to protect him, the one good thing left in her life even if their bond is masked, is to drive him away. To make it so that he’ll stay far away from her of his own free will, and never come after her and her suicide mission to defeat the dark. Because she has already lost everything, she has no control over her fate anymore (if she ever had any to begin with), but the ONE thing she can still try to do is keep him safe. And hopefully, maybe he’ll be happy, one day. Her reasoning is directly confirmed for us in the last thing she says to him in 2x02 before she leaves: “Light protect you, al’Lan Mandragoran.” That was her goal all along, to protect him.

That’s the true reason she’s Like That to him. It’s all out of her love for him, and a desperate desire not to drag him down with her when she’s sure she’s destined to die on this mission. Is her strategy misguided? On the one hand yes, because she does need people to help her and she needs to trust someone, as he points out. On the other hand, she’s absolutely fucking right because look what happened with the Fade fight at the end of 2x01. Both her and Lan would have died without Verin and Tomas, and it would have been because she couldn’t channel. He is factually, logically, physically better off without her as long as she’s “stilled.”

This is why it makes sense how Lan eventually responds the way he does. He initially sees right through what she’s trying to do, he literally says he won’t let her push him away. He knows her too, better than anyone, including Siuan at this point. But he isn’t expecting her to go as far as she does, and it shakes him to his core. She tells him he failed her, has his worst fears confirmed, and then hears the words “we were never equals” and hears that she thinks she’s better than him, when she means the exact opposite. Tomas tells him to really listen but he can’t, in that moment.

But then he gets some distance, and some perspective thanks to Ihvon and Maksim, and he remembers: he loves her. He believes in her and he knows her and he knows what she’s doing to push him away (although maybe not why, when it comes to protecting him, because he doesn’t see himself as someone who needs protecting). Even better, he realizes that her situation is actually not what she thinks, that she’s shielded not stilled, and he can do something about that.

I LOVE Lan in 2x07 because he’s got Moiraine’s number now, and he will not be swayed by any further attempts (rather weak attempts at this point) to lash out at him. He just takes all the shit she throws at him, and calmly asks her what he needs to know and tells her what she needs to hear (“hopefully everything we’ve lost” and “that’s what I thought” and “you need to trust someone, Moiraine”), and is truthful with her even if she is still putting on this act with him in her fear and grief. He isn’t having any of it, he sees straight through it to the fear and pain underneath. And he literally DECIDES they are going to be okay, and then he fucking. Follows. Through.

He is not a doormat to her rage, he is not her servant, he’s not going back to her with his tail between his legs. He SHOWS UP for her in her darkest hour, when NO ONE, not even Siuan, can see what’s going on with her. That’s a true friend, a true hero, and absolute king behavior.

In conclusion, Moiraine’s behavior in s2, while not cute, is totally justified given the trauma, circumstances and everything she’s dealing with (jfc the lack of sleep alone) and makes sense in light of her ultimate goal to protect the world, which includes protecting Lan. And Lan’s response, once he figures out what to do, is the absolute correct way to handle the situation and is not weakness at all but strength in the highest order.

I’m so glad we got the payoff of all that with their conversation in 2x08 and reconnecting the bond. It was so beautiful, so earned, and reminded us of the level they’re on with each other — which is a soul connection way beyond what any of us can imagine.

[claimedcrossbows]

Tyler Galpin's "Did you ever even love her?" Line Analysis, And Why It's Important to Weyler!

Y'all might wanna grab y'all popcorn for this analysis.

-

I know this has probably already been said a million times, and theorized upon but @gardenoblues and their analysis on the Tyler and Wednesday talk at the Rave'N got me thinking about a certain Tyler Galpin line.

Let me explain.

Tyler asking his dad in season 1, if he ever even loved his mom is actually so out of place considering we didn't learn ANYTHING of his mom, other than she was a Hyde, and eventually died after giving birth to Tyler, and apparently his dad and mom must've had some type of falling out.

That's all we learn in Season 1.

The reason I say it's so out of place to ask his dad in this episode or even season is because usually when writers set up a disposition, I feel it's usually followed through by the end of the episode or season. In this particular case we get no history or pay off at all of what Donovan and Francoise relationship was really like, not even a small flashback so this question seems like it was asked to early right?

So this makes me as a viewer as well as a writer ask the question.

"Why was this line incorporated into the show and why so early?"

Besides the Obvious reason, they just wanted to show some kind of drama with the Galpin household to make Tyler suspicious.

BUT

To me there's only 2 reasons this line was important enough, to be set up for Season 2 but mentioned in Season 1.

1.) This line is (obviously) going to be further delved into, giving us more of Francoise, Donovan's and Tyler's backstory in Season 2.

Yes, reason #1 could be enough to set up a One Liner so early in the first season, only to be resolved a season later. But to me, it's still a little weak that this couldn't have easily been delved into in season 1, if only just a little bit.

Which makes me think, there's ANOTHER reason, this line was used as a set up.

2.) For a motif, parallel's and indirect (covert) foreshadowing.

And what I mean by all this is, The phrase, "Did you ever even love her?" is a set up quote to be used again (A motif), by a different character, probably to the same person who asked the quote prior. Meaning at some point in S2, maybe even S3, I 100% believe this quote is going to be directed back to Tyler.

It will be a parallel because Tyler's question is now reverted directly back to him.

And I say it's indirect (Covert) foreshadowing because dramatic irony is amazing and in my opinion underused in movies or shows, because really, how ironic would it be to have someone ask Tyler the same question he asked his dad in similar circumstances?

Now, who could be asking him this question and who is it directed towards?

The first one, I'm not sure who's asking Tyler this.

But I can definitely tell you who it's directed towards.

Wednesday Addams.

Because when you think about it, from the very beginning of Wednesday's and Tyler story, all the way to the very end of season 1, Their entire relationship boiled down to the simple question.

"Did Tyler Ever Really Love Wednesday?"

I said all this to say this, that question more than likely will be asked to Tyler, just like he asked his dad, and I can't wait for the moment to happen.

*MIC DROP*

[bookqueenrules]

Coda, Coda, Coda-DD Episode 4

In this post, I asked TDers to be on the look out for the Easter Egg that's not really an Easter Egg which Gimple mentioned on the NYCC panel. It was unclear if he was saying it was in episode 4 or not, but if he did mean episode 4, he was clearly referring to the Coda symbols in this is episode. For a reference as what a Coda is and how it is connected to Beth and her return, here is a wonderful post by @twdmusicboxmystery

I found two coda symbols in the episode. Please let me know if anyone found others. Interestingly, there are other TD related symbols above each of the codas.

In the garage with Theo and the other older gentleman, I don't remember his name, the coda symbol is clearly reflected on the top of the car.

The fact that this coda symbol is literally a reflection on a CAR is like a neon sign for TDers. If Beth did survive by being left in a car, either in the backseat or the trunk, putting the coda symbol on the car would be a clear sign that Beth was "resurrected" from the car as TD believes. Above it is a car sign for a brand of car, these cars no longer sold in North American, with a Chevron pattern like the one in the gray sweater Beth wore during Coda.

Next, there is the coda painted on pillars at the Nest. Soon after Isabelle's Coda-like death, this appears clearly in the shot behind Losang. Above the coda is a compass rose. I won't go over the compass rose symbolism as many other TDers have written about it for years.

So what do these codas mean? If this is the "mythology" Gimple is referring to, why is he calling it out? We know he uses symbols of all kinds in every episode. So, why call out this symbol now? The obvious answer is that the episode is the second Coda and now we will be going back to the first coda and Beth will return. Another NYCC tidbit is that right before the question that elicited Gimple's "Easter Egg" response was a question about crossovers and cameos. Gimple and Zabel looked at each other, laughed, and Zabel said that they are working on something right now.

By the end of season one and now throughout season two of DD, they have clearly repeated parts seasons 4 and 5. Based on this, below is my conjecture as to when Beth will return.

There may be post credits scene that airs after the cable broadcast of 2x6 where we see that Beth is alive like we saw Morgan after 5x8 Coda.

2. It could mean that we are in middle of a replay, but the replay isn't complete. I did a post explaining how we have seen a replay of 5x01, 5x02, and 5x03 here. However, knowing how the rest of the season goes, I don't think we have seen the replay of these episodes yet.

Honestly, as disappointing as it may be, I think season 3 will be about replaying some of these episode before we get Beth.

I'll post more about it later, but we already have a S3 spoiler that during a celebration a military like vehicle pulls up. Then, a man was heard yelling, "They kidnapped my daughter." I believe they were filming episode 2. So, @galadrieljones I believe you were correct about the kidnapping. It's not Laurent but a new character in Spain. Assuming D and C go after the girl, and I am sure they will, that episode may be the replay of Consumed and/or Crossed.

Another confirmation from S3 spoilers is the train connection. Trains are mentioned strangely in a couple of places in episode 4 as @twdmusicboxmystery pointed out in her video. She predicted that we would see a train soon. Guess what? A BTS picture was posted of a yellow(the color of reunion) train being filmed in Spain.

I'll post all the BTS pics I have as soon as S2 is over. I mention all the things TD has been and continues to be right about to show that we should not be too upset if she doesn't show at the end of season 2. She will show soon. Judging by the replays, she will show by the end of season 3 at the latest. Hang in there! In the mean time, Bethyl has the BEST fanfiction writers to keep us entertained!

TD is right. All the signs and symbols point to Beth's return. She will return. Unfortunately, TPTB are not in as a much of hurry to get there as we are.

[alwaysrunningoutoftime]

the bear sydcarmy thoughts (season 3 spoilers)

I have never felt so dead inside and empty. I ended the season literally burning up. Perhaps I got my hopes up too much which wasn’t a lot tbh. I expected with sydcarmy the s3 ender was gonna be like a fight because of a reveal of her opportunity and maybe maybe a realization of feelings. But wow not that at all, in fact there was nothing really resolved.

I was expecting the angst and to be pissed off at Camry but but we’ve never been so immeasurably down and I have to say I don’t know how I feel about sydcarmy now.

What I notice is these two really took a nosedive this season. We went so downhill. In prior seasons we can usually expect by the end for some resolution to happen between the two, syd comes back, or we get like the lovely table scene. This season it’s like they got progressively farther and father apart.

We started off so strong with the EMP scene. Like I couldn’t fucking believe we actually got that scene, i shot up out of my seat it was so surreal.

And then as we continue to go, there’s barely any moments between the two together. And when there is, they’re always cut short. And you’re kind of just left short, wanting more. And i guess that was on purpose to show them so out of sync and their biggest weakness, communication. They really became just two coworkers, so unfamiliar with each other. And I was truly hoping we’d get something from the Ever scenes but no carmy is just so isolated.

And again I guess that’s the point. Carmy is so in his head, so haunted by Claire and David, so focused on the restaurant that he’s not trying at all to form a connection with syd (platonic nor romantic). He’s so focused on his past and carrying the weight of things left unsaid that as the al anon meeting says, it just digs deeper and deeper with him. Because he never bothers to resolve his issues, go to therapy and apologize to Claire.

So here’s the thing about Claire. It’s obvious he needed to resolve what happened with her. But what was really jarring to me was the amount of Claire scenes we got. In season 2 Claire is depicted as a distraction, there is always this constant clock running in the background with her. Carmy doesn’t even know exactly what Claire is to him, “a girl that’s a friend or a girlfriend.” Their relationship is so surface level. And then we start getting these s3 scenes and it feels like they’re retconning their relationship because this isn’t the claire and carmy from season 2. And if they were so great together why wouldn’t you show us then! Where are all these scenes coming from. But okay let’s say storer did hear people’s complaints and chose to give more to clairecarmy, then I feel so horribly fucked as a sydcarmy shipper cause why would you give us such obvious editing and juxtaposition between Sydney and Claire in s2 and turn around and do this. It feels like a betrayal. And worse of all the whole “Claire is your peace” THATS NOT WHAT THE PANIC ATTACK SCENE SAID IN S2, syd is the one who calmed him down. And despite seeing all these clairecarmy scenes they cannot measure up to the substance, the complexity of sydcarmy. And worse of all they didn’t even resolve the clairecarmy bs. And if they’ve spent so much time shoving these two in our face and I meant to believe those two are endgame, that they are meant to be together. god I’m gonna throw up, I feel so played.

But then my hope, perhaps my delusional is the EMP meal scene. It tells me that there will always be this invisible string between sydcarmy and as Chris storer said himself it’s about “finding the right people when you’re supposed to find them.”

Syd is right at the end of episode 1, is it supposed to indicate she is the endgame.

What worries me though is if they take this in a platonic direction, the platonic soulmates bs and continue on with clairecarmy.

So anyway back on carmy, and him keeping everything in and avoiding his problems. That is the reason why this season is so angsty. Carmy regresses severely and he is so lonely, you really feel it at the end of the season as everyone shares their story and he is too focused on David to connect with anyone. And then when he finally confronts David, he realizes nothing he says to this man matters. His words don’t mean shit. And it feels especially poignant because he’s been holding onto this for years, all this anger and hatred. He even follows in David’s footsteps with his own restaurant: “the greatest mistake is working for a bad boss, what it unlocks in you is the culture that you choose to create.” And they juxtapose David with Claire. And again is this the clairecarmy agenda being pushed. Or I also see it as him finally having confronted David, he now needs to resolve whatever the fuck he needs to with Claire.

Okay so onto Terry. Terry says: “i got to do all the things i wanted to do the way i wanted to do with the people i wanted to do it with.” And this is the thing carmy has to strive for, to create that good culture again. To make connections again. I mean correct me if I’m wrong but the only person he really connects with is Marcus (his actual mentee) he doesn’t really talk to Sydney, doesn’t resolve anything with Richie, I think he doesn’t even really talk to Sugar. And I’m realizing now, throughout the season there were so many people connecting with different people (off the top of my head: Marcus and Tina, Tina and Nat, Nat and Richie, Richie and Sydney, Sydney and Marcus). There’s so many more and different duos going on, and carmys barely a part of any of it. And then with Sydney’s party, while everyone’s celebrating and carmys just on his own.

We really emphasize his loneliness. There’s also the Sydney and Luca conversation about siblings, and then Sydney’s loneliness and her experiencing everything on her own and being used to dealing with things on her alone. And we see that in her panic attack scene, and she has no anchor (as someone else pointed out), no one there to comfort her. And it ending on this loneliness that follows both sydney and carmy around and that’s another thing that ties them together.

I don’t really know how to end this. I don’t know how I feel about sydcarmy right now, what the show is trying to tell me. Should I have faith in their invisible string, in them being tied together by loneliness. I understand this was the angst season and carmy really regressed, and he was focused on David and Claire. Is this season pivoting and telling me clairecarmy are endgame, or is it carmy being haunted by the still unresolved things between them? I can accept the added romance to their relationship, I mean she is his first real gf, there has to be good there. Does this necessarily mean their endgame or is she just a stepping stone, a first gf someone he is meant to learn lessons from, to then have his endgame with Sydney? (I think of new girl and the various good relationships nick and jess went through before getting endgame.)

THEY COULDNT RESOLVE ONE FUCKING THING!

And then the “to be continued” sign. Is this what people felt when they watched Across the Spiderverse, but like we were actually building towards something there. All I’m left with is dread with the bear.

Lastly I am so conflicted by this partnership. I have no idea what I want syd to choose. There will be a big show of loyalty if Sydney chooses to stick with carmy, I mean I also have to respect the loyalty in her also choosing the crew, her family (like Marcus and Tina and Nat). But we also see how far Sydney and carmy drifted from each other and we see the loss of their collocation and their synchronization. The way Carmy rebuffs all her suggestions. So im like “yeah fuck carmy, go off on your own syd.” And if she were to choose to stay that would be such a big sign of something more to me because now she’s choosing to believe in his potential, which is a big fucking deal.

But then I also think about the growth carmy experienced from learning at all these places. And how Sydney deserves that too. And also carmys speech about the chefs and learning from each other and branching out on their own. And maybe it’s that too, Sydney spreading her wings. But then no, I’m selfishly like no I don’t want her to leave.

But then maybe it’s meant to show growth in carmy, he was the one who left before. Now he has to trust in syd to leave and come back again. Idk.

Or yeah maybe syd just deserves to fuck off, become successful and fuck over this man.

I also think about that one twt post where the bear is about “Carmy falling in love with Sydney. And Sydney falling out with carmy” and god that would fuck me up so bad.

Am I meant to hold out hope, like this is rock bottom and there’s only up from here. Or is this them extinguishing the fire of sydcarmy for us? I understand we always have fan fiction and canons not everything, but the way camry and Sydney’s relationship, even platonically, was handled this season left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

Idk where I’m going with this. I don’t even know how I feel about sydcarmy anymore, I want to read a fic to soothe me but I don’t even think carmy deserves to be happy with Sydney right now. Idk let me know your thoughts, maybe my fellow sydcarmys can pull me out.

Also if there’s a discord I would love to join because I don’t think I can deal with this on my own right now 😭.

[agenericplaceholdername]

Dragons Rising S2 E6-10 Thoughts

This is the last post in the series! Maybe I’ll do these for Season 2 Part 2, maybe not. But either way, here’s some thoughts on the Dragons Rising, Season 2 midseason finale:

To Mysterium!:

Geo you might not be trained, but you and the Finders were holding your own against the Wolf Masks

This scene exists solely to advertise the sets (tbf the whole show is but this is super obvious)

In The Temple of the Dragon Cores Zane has a full map of the Merged realms; now he has nothing?

Lloyd tries to reassure Arin and just puts more pressure on him :(

Fun scene with Kai and Nya

Such incredible disguises

Orange Frohicky!

I’d buy a disco toaster

Why would a cloud be on a map? And why does poison affect Zane?

Why do you hate humans, Egalt? What happened in your past?

What do you mean trick map, Cole? Are maps that change by magic(?) commonplace?

Arin vs Lloyd is not fair

Egalt!

Jiro walking on two legs is kinda strange

Are these supposed to be the same people from Gangs of the Sea or just the same character models

Poor Arin

“Well, he is a professional actor”

Dorama’s humor has overstayed its welcome

“No self-respecting school allows the students to escape”

Purple imperium drones

I doubt that’ll be the end of Dorama, but honestly I’d be okay if it was

Fugitives from Madness:

Cole this monastery looks identical, just recolored

How did that mark get there? Are the monasteries linked somehow? What about when the Monastary was destroyed (multiple times)? Did that impact the Mysterium monastary

So is Gandalaria gonna explain everything about the Monastaries? Or who this “Sprite” is? (the answer is no)

Sora cmon he clearly didn’t go through the last pillar

“Stop being so hard on yourself” someone learned her lesson from last season

Already posted about the Egalt & Wyldfyre scene but it is SO GOOD

I get the desire to use the Zane/Cole/Bonzle/Gandalaria stuff as lighthearted stuff to contrast the emotional stuff in the A plot, but it feels like the episode just grinds to a halt when we cut to them

Still nice that Gandalaria accepts Bonzle

“You can never force the motion of the universe to bend to your will” I know a certain tiger who would disagree

Why is Gandalaria’s storehouse in a different realm? Not a plot hole, bc Gandalaria is totally the type of person to do something like that, but what was the thought process?

“Yes, nearly 9%!” 

I love the Countershot scene. Great music, great for Kai and Nya, sorta nostalgic

The Blood Moon rising is so ominous (also the moon does not rise this quickly, or over the whole planet at the same time)

Did the Forbidden Five place a curse on the Dragon Masters? Why do they turn to stone?

I love how the Administration, a society from an entirely different realm, uses the word “Nindroid,” invented by Jay

THEY IMPOUNDED JIRO?

The Administration is so goofy

The way Michael Adamthwaite says, “Told you” sounds like Jay

The Administration immediately vaporizes their own paperwork lol

Gandalaria is nuts

JAY??

So many great scenes this episode

Secrets of the Wyldness:

Wyldfyre pretended to be stone once? Assuming Kai tickled her out of it like Wyldfyre tries to do to the Dragon Masters?

Kai why don’t you try to do Rising Dragon now

Thank you Cole for yelling, “The Wyldness” even though that future never comes to pass so that the Ninja know where to go

Gandalaria, Janet’s got nothing on you

I mean if the Departed Realm is part of the Merged Realms, a dead man could still owe a fine

“I hereby demand your surrender.” “Uhh… no. Thank you.”

Jay’s lighting is both yellow and blue

And so ends Jay’s part in S2P1

Does this even count as a Zane fake out death? It lasts less than a minute

“We can’t give up until we find Bonzle” why would she be hard to find? She’s supposed to just be under the Monastery — where you told her to go

The Cloud Kingdom with the Blood Moon behind it is so ominous

Goodbye Jiro

Fortune telling tea is weak, Gandalaria needs to get some spirit smoke

There’s a strange effect on the Bounty crash scene, I guess it’s the effect of Theroxian magic

RIYU MY GOAT

“Instant doom” if you all down the cliff. Remember this

Kai, Wyldfyre, and Sora is such a fun trio, I’m glad we get them together for the next few episodes

Don’t worry Sora, that won’t be the last time the Bounty will be destroyed

Is Gandalaria’s magic similar to Clouse’s? Or Hazza D’ur’s?

Shoving people in a box is typically not the best course of action

“I’m a scientist,” says Jordana earlier this episode. By the end, she’s overpowering the High Sorceress of Mysterium’s magic. No wonder Theroxian was banned

Why would walking in the direction of the moon mean you’re heading to the ritual?

Good luck Arin and Riyu

The Forest of Spirits:

Ras flashback?? Poor guy

“We are the masters of our destiny now” he says this with such malice. The Writers get out alive because this is a kids show, but a different show would just have them executed

I don’t have a fear of heights but you’d better believe I’d develop one if I was falling to my death

Poor Lloyd

The crumbling Cloud Kingdom tower in Lloyd’s vision actually happened in Writers of Destiny (and I don’t think happens later)

Jordana, that's not very nice of you. 

So much is going on and then we have to waste time messing around in the mystical storehouse. Gandalaria isn’t even an unfunny character, but this bit just drags

Riyu flying has a great bit of music, looks awesome, and is just plain fun. Arin is so happy :)

Fun battle scene

Okay, remember before about the “instant doom” thing if you fall off the cliff? Well Sora just murdered someone

Arin is genuinely apologetic, but there was no need to mention you still don’t remember Jordana’s name

Bonzle and Arin are so funny together

Wait how did Jordana get this car — did Ras build it? Buy it?

Either the Ninja trained for a good amount of time or Wyldfyre just heals super quickly

“I’m always adorable”

The Shadow Dojo looks so cool

The first look at the Forbidden Five in the M. C. Escher- inspired Nether-Space is so cool

Ras, physical abuse does not lead to a good rating on Glassdoor

Such a heartbreaking scene for Arin (and cool one for Ras). Tells us a lot about both of them. And to be fair to Arin, he does last longer here and Ras has a weapon

Great ending to an overall solid episode

Rising Ninja:

Arin sees Lloyd and Nya as his parents im crying

Heating up metal while it’s touching someone sounds like an easy way to burn them

Great cut to intro

I doubt wearing the wolf masks when the Gong is hit impacts Sora, Wyldfyre, and Kai since you probably have to let your soul be shattered, while they’re fighting it

You didn’t accidentally do Rising Dragon, you were explicitly training to do it

Great one take

Is Nokt in charge of the Five? How’d they decide he goes first

Really am not commenting a lot here because the whole battle is just so much fun

“She’ll miss my sweet shatterspin”

You’ve rewatched this part dozens of times, I’m sure— Kai doing Rising Dragon and Lloyd v Ras is so awesome

Nokt looked cooler before he opened his eyes or removed the extra cloak

Even Euphrasia gets a big moment, although I don’t know how that seemingly limited amount of wind is enough

Nya unlocking Rising Dragon is cool

Why doesn’t Cinder attack Lloyd while he’s having visions?

Sora this was probably the right move, but not telling Arin… idk how that’ll go

Teleporting the entire Shadow Dojo is super powerful; Ras’ Master must be a big threat

“Did we win?” honestly a good question Arin- most of the 5 didn’t escape, but at what cost…

“Where are we?” Good question too Cinder

Did Nokt just trip? What happened?

Jordana???

Ras’ Master is def not happy

Bittersweet way to end S2P1, while leaving a lot of thing for Part 2 to build on and/or resolve

And that’s it! Overall, I’ve heavily enjoyed each installment of Ninjago: Dragons Rising, and am looking forward to rewatching Season 2 Part 2 for the second first time! If you’ve already seen it, make sure to watch it on a legal site so Lego knows there’s demand to keep this great series going.

[treblrebl]

Charting the Course of B&B : How It Began

For nobody's sake but mine, I have decided to chart out the progress of the B&B relationship through the seasons.

Seasons 1 to 3: Keyword - 'Trust'

The foundational seasons, where the ever simmering physical attraction kept smashing up against the wall of 'I just don't understand this guy/girl'. But more importantly, the seasons where both of them, much to their shock, find that their partnership bears immediate fruit. And that the walls they keep around everyone else somehow don't seem to hold up in front of each other.

The graph below charts their attraction and trust levels over the 3 seasons through pivotal points where their partnership either grew or retreated significantly. It's my opinion that fledgling romantic feelings were present during this phase, but neither of them were aware of it.

Representation:

Milestones considered:

S1 - Point 1: "I knew you wouldn't make me a liar" (S1E5)

S1 - Point 2: Rescue from Kenton/"Why are you so nice to me?" (S1E15/E19)

S1 - Point 3: "With each shot we all die a little bit, Bones"/"I know who you are" (S1E21/E22)

S2 - Point 1: "Tony and Roxie" (S2E8)

S2 - Point 2: "I knew you wouldn't give up" (S2E9)

S2 - Point 3: "Everything happens eventually"/Rescue from Gallagher (S2E16/E18)

S2 - Point 4: Zack leaves for the Army/Max gets arrested/Aborted Hodgela wedding (S2E21)

S3 - Point 1: "Making love vs crappy sex" (S3E3)

S3 - Point 2: Smurfette/"I love my gift Booth"/"You are a fully developed man" (S3E7/E9/E11)

S3 - Point 3: Baby Andy/Max's trial/Checkerbox pre-shooting (S3E12/E13/E14)

S3 - Point 4: Booth's 'death'/Zack as Gormogon apprentice (S3E15)

Season 4: Keyword - 'Emotional Intimacy'

This where things start getting COMPLICATED. They start off rough, with Brennan having her walls up again after the deception of Booth's death. But when the last of the walls fall by the end of Con Man in the Meth Lab, the emotional enmeshment is cemented. The UST is also off the charts.

By the time this season ends, the trust between them has reached it's zenith. The attraction has never wavered, but this season is where the romantic feelings start to make their presence seriously felt. It's quite obvious that Dr. Wyatt was referring to Brennan when he posited that one of them was clearly aware of their feelings and struggled with it daily. Booth was deeper in denial even though he had brought Brennan completely into his life, his family and his history. Writing the story at Booth's bedside was Brennan's way of coping with the strength of her feelings which she didn't have the courage to examine or name. Perhaps she felt that putting a label to how she felt for Booth in a fictional world would exorcise the turmoil in the real world. Perhaps it was the only way she had to admit to herself.

Representation:

Milestones considered:

Ep 3: "There's someone for everyone, Bones, you just have to be open to see it."/"What's wrong with a surrogate relationship?"

Ep. 5: "You know the reviews to my books Booth, but do you read them?" "Every single word."

Ep. 9: "My father drank."

Ep. 11: 'Look at my little boy there, with your dad."

Ep. 14: Gravedigger rescue. Needs no explanation.

Ep. 21: Sharing of metaphorical scars, adopting their baby duck. There is no going back for either of them now.

Ep. 25: Brennan's baby, Booth's sperm. "Something is wrong Booth, trust me!"

Ep. 26: "You love someone, you open yourself up to suffering, that's the sad truth. Maybe they'll break your heart, maybe you'll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself in the same way. Those are the risks. That's the burden."

In the next instalment:

Season 5: Keyword - 'Devotion'

Season 6: Keyword - 'Inner Demons'

[raleighrador]

The Bear S3 - Plot and Carmen

I found Carmen's storyline in S3 simultaneously sad, funny, frustrating, and rewarding (all as a viewer). Carmen himself seems to straight up be having a terrible time.

The specific thing that stood out for me with the season's treatment of Carmen was - in a show that does a great job of show don't tell - we never get SHOWN Carmen having a win. Certainly not one that he is capable of enjoying.

What do I mean by this? We get told Carmen is a great chef but apart from the flashback to Sydney eating his fish + citrus dish (+ I guess the flashbacks where Carmen shells more peas/peels more mushrooms etc than Luca) we don't get SHOWN him being a great chef, or being acknowledged as a great chef.

Contrast this with eg Sydney making Nat an omelette in season 2, or Sydney taking over the service when Carmen is trapped in the walk in. Marcus's baked good get lots of "mmm WOW delicious yummy" scenes in earlier seasons. Even Sydney offering "obvious" improvements to Carmen's meat dish in S3E5. Sydney DEMONSTRATES exceptional cooking and cheffery on screen in a way Carmen does not.

Instead we get TOLD Carmen is an excellent chef. We get shown the various reviews and profiles that Sydney enviously reads in her empty apartment, we get Luca telling Marcus (in S2) that he could never keep up with Carmen, and finally we get Chef David (Carmen's former Executive Chef who was abusive) explicitly calling out that Carmen is an excellent chef.

This is an odd dynamic from a storytelling perspective, and I personally found it frustrating. Carmen is clearly the primary protagonist of the show and yet he never gets any visceral "wins" that we as the audience can immediately recognise and enjoy. In fact, in many ways, his achievements get a treatment more typically associated with an antagonist. Think of every bad guy who has been introduced as the 3 times world champ, or most dangerous person in MadeUpLandia, or the hottest and most popular girl in High School TM.

I think this is deliberate.

Every moment where we get told Carmen is excellent is deliberately unsatisfying because it is unsatisfying to Carmen. He repeatedly gets the affirmation that he is in fact exceptionally good at this and yet it does nothing for him.

It doesn't feel good and it doesn't quiet the voices in his head. It doesn't solve any of his issues. This is most explicitly true in the interaction with Chef David - Carmen's tormentor, the man who belittled him, who did more to destroy his self confidence than any other. Chef David loudly, clearly, explicitly gives Carmen the affirmation he always withheld... and it does nothing for Carmen. If anything it just further confuses and upsets him.

I think this will continue into the next season and ultimately whatever "ending" the show as a whole reaches. Carmen will get a star (or 2 or 3) and it will fix absolutely nothing. None of his problems (maybe the monetary ones?) will go away.

The star will fall into the black hole inside of Carmen and do nothing to fill it, just like everything else he has tried to use to plug that wound.

In fact I will go so far as to say - I think this show either ends with Carmen committing suicide or at least a suicide attempt will be a major plot point. Especially if the star does solve the money problems. One of the things that keeps Carmen going is that success will solve problems for his family - specifically, the debt Mikey left. If that goes away, it removes one of the biggest reasons to keep going.

Many people have (I think correctly) written extensively about how Sydney is Carmen's narrative foil. I think Mikey is his narrative mirror.

Mikey has from the very beginning dominated the show, and Carmen. He was why Carmen became a chef. He was why Carmen came back. He was who left Carmen picking up the pieces. It is - in my mind- all for Mikey and all because of Mikey. Carmen wanted to do this restaurant with his big brother and that will now never happen.

I think a potential path for the show to take is to contrast Sydney and Carmen to Carmen and Mikey. Sydney is able to recognise bits of herself in Carmen but also some of her own limits. She, I think, will learn and grow past Carmen and those limits.

I don't think Carmen will be so lucky. Thus far certainly he has demonstrated absolutely none of the self-awareness required to make this a plausible outcome. He has none of the language or tools required to have this realisation and then act on them (very bluntly pointed out by Richie in the "non-negotiables" argument). He doesn't have the support network to spot these things for him, and he is only becoming more isolated. He doesn't ever answer his phone. He is literally incapable of saying sorry or really having any conversation outside of the restaurant. The people around him are - for various reasons - losing patience or just have other things going on.

Nat - who has been the most uncritical and productive support for Carmen - now has a baby & the restaurant so she can't be the one maintaining a one sided relationship. Cicero has (unknown to the rest of them) money issues that mean he can't be the stable, consistent figure he wants to be. Richie and Sydney have been burned by Carmen lashing out too many times. His other industry friends don't actually know him that well because he has always been distant. They also have their own lives and bluntly Carmen is too much work for too little reward.

I thought the finale illustrated this really well - Luca and Sydney see Carmen going to confront Chef David, they know it is going to end badly, and then they do nothing about it. They, along with the rest of the Bear crew + Chef Terry + Jess go to Sydney's apartment for an after party. Carmen is notably absent.

None of them seem to notice or care. I imagine it is a "sigh *eye roll* Carmen is being Carmen" phenomenon rather than malice. It is still illustrative of Carmen's increasing isolation, and the loss of people looking out for him.

Carmen is not heading for a breakdown, he is in the midst of one. He has only gotten worse since he almost burned his apartment down while sleepwalking. I think that is what we are seeing.

Literally and figuratively Carmen is sleep walking into self-destruction.

This isolation from the people he cares about is not, however, totally agentless. That is to say - while I don't blame people like Richie and Sydney, I do think they are making choices that wind up isolating Carmen and denying him the affirmation and support he craves.

Does Carmen know that he made the best meal Sydney ever ate? I don't think so. So far as I recall she never told him. She told Marcus, but not Carmen. Does Carmen know that she specifically sought him out because of the fish & citrus dish? I don't think so. She told him she wanted to work at the Beef because it was her dad's favourite sandwich shop. Sydney has all of her own issues with Carmen and has made this choice for many reasons but ultimately she has never given Carmen the sort of affirmation I believe he craves and would actually accept from her. Her praise, I believe, would mean more than any of the rest he has received.

Instead, deliberately or not, Sydney does a lot to deny Carmen that praise and increasingly denies to herself that she even thinks it. The assertion that she can "keep up" from a skill perspective is one example, the more interesting one is how she reacts to Shapiro praising the scallop dish that is "new", that is "not Carmy". Shapiro clearly thinks and is heavily implying that this must be a Sydney dish. Sydney's response is "well it's um... it's both of us, together".

I read this scene as Adam clearly giving Sydney an opening to take credit, and Sydney response is clearly a "wink wink oh I am humble but yes".

Except it's not both of them nor is it Sydney. S3E1 ends and S3E2 begins with Carmen redoing all the dishes, including the fish dish. Sydney is very frustrated that Carmen "changed all my (her) shit".

A key, repeated, point of frustration for Sydney is that Carmen changes dishes without her input (I think this is only partially true and if so only partially problematic). Regardless of what I think SHE clearly chafes under a lack of ownership of the dishes.

So while this superficially resembles the flashback of Carmen and David futzing the fish & fennel dish, only for Carmen to deliver to Sydney the fish & citrus dish, it doesn't actually fit. This superficial parallel is actually a red herring (sorry) to our ability to read this interaction correctly.

This scene therefore demonstrates 2 (maybe 3) things brilliantly (in my mind at least): Carmen is not well known by basically anyone. Chef Adam is kind of sort of a work friend, but he clearly feels he "knows" Carmen's cooking and can recognise something that is so new and different that it can't be Carmen's. What he is totally missing is how much (and how fast) Carmen is changing and improving as a chef. It also demonstrates Sydney's unwillingness to acknowledge how good Carmen is. Again multiple angles here, but she isn't willing to let it be Carmen's dish. She also doesn't ever tell Carmen that Adam thought the food was excellent.

This echoes S1 Richie refusing to really acknowledge how much better Carmen's beef sandwich is than the old version.

So there is a pattern of Carmen not getting validation from people whose opinions he actually cares about. Instead he just gets unsatisfying praise from people who don't matter to him.

The third thing this scene potentially demonstrates is that the parallels between Carmen and Sydney's experiences are weaker than implied.

I have read a few reviews that criticise this season because not enough happens, there isn't enough character growth, and there is clunky writing that makes it a frustrating viewing experience. I don't actually disagree per se, I just think they are deliberate.

I am possibly reaching, and it is possible the writers are being more ambitious than they can deliver on. It feels, in many ways, like avant-garde cuisine. The writers are deliberately breaking rules, deliberately doing things that are almost always "bad writing" and trying to do them in a way that actually makes them good.

It's like trying to make ice cream out of squid ink, or colourless, textureless cubes that tastes like ribeye. It doesn't make sense and it isn't how cooking works. Sometime you spend hundreds of dollars on terrible, unsatisfying meals. Sometimes you eat something that breaks all the rules and defies all your expectations and blows your fucking mind.

Sometimes it's in-between and I guess S3 is more that for me than either of the former. I still think what the writers are doing is cool and innovative and I like it, even if it didn't all land perfectly.