#also has anyone actually complained about her cooking in recent years? because I know they did back in the day but now...

[cake-emu]

seen ppl on Twitter all "Carla doesn't cook but here she is chopping veggies for Lisa" and I will not be hearing this, no no no, Carla does cook, she's just frequently bad at it, and what I find so mind-bendingly endearing about that is that she doesn't let that stop her. she always keeps trying at it (except on Christmas Day), and sod what anyone says about it

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

this is a continuation of the other one

Y/N stares at him for a long moment, arms crossed and poking her tongue into her cheek. “Why do I feel like I'm Ariel and you’re the sea witch trying to get me to sing into a shell?”

Harry blinks once. “Sorry, what?”

“Oh, right, that was—that was ‘89, wasn’t it?” Y/N bites back a laugh at the scowl that rolls over Harry’s expression. “After your time, I suppose.”

But Y/N isn’t laughing when she has to spend the next two weeks braless. And although she spends the first day being petty under Harry’s keen eye, by the third day, she’s turned the predicament around in her favor.

“Hey, Harry.” She says one night, stirring her pot of pasta on the stove as she sips her eleven dollar wine. “I have a question about our arrangement.”

Harry, who has been leaning over the counter to soak in the aromas of the food that he longs to taste (and also to get a look at Y/N’s cleavage in the v-neck t-shirt she’s wearing), cocks his head to the side and clicks his tongue. “If you're trying to reduce your sentence, don’t even try it.”

“No, no, it’s not that.” Y/N murmurs, trailing her lip around the rim of her wine glass as she leans against the counter. “I was just wondering if it has to be only braless with a shirt on top, or if I could wear just a bra or bralette.”

Harry blinks once, his mouth falling open in surprise. “I—what?”

“Like, I have this little cotton Calvin Klein bralette, and it’s super comfy, and still gives me some support, but my cleavage and such is still decently on display.” Y/N clarifies with a smug grin, setting down her glass against the fake marble counter as she stretches to reach the spice cabinet. “I think that could fulfill our agreement, no? You know what bralette I’m talking about, right? You’ve probably seen it when you’ve been snooping around.”

Harry looks at her carefully, trying to catch the trick behind her all-too generous offer. He replies in a measured tone, leaning against the fridge as his eyes glue to the way her chest heaves as she teeters forwards on her tiptoes to grab a condiment. “I know the one, yes. Peachy pink, right? With a thick band and slightly ruffled fabric at the center?”

“That’s the one, yup.” Y/N pops the last letter of the word, wiggling her fingers to try and grab the oregano from the highest shelf. “It’s a nice number, I think, and going around braless for so long does my back in sometimes.”

Harry pushes off the barrier he’s using as support, drifting towards Y/N as she stands before her cupboards, one hand propped against the counter to boost herself up as the other fishes for the small container a few inches from the tips of her fingers. He stops right beside her, looking down at her with that same calculating gaze he had across the room. He’s still trying to sus out her angle, but little does he know that what she’s trying to implement is going to work out for both of them.

She’s grown quite fond of the extra attention he’s been giving her, and for some odd reason, she feels a deep sense of pleasure every time she catches him staring at her chest. Maybe it’s the way his eyes glint longingly as he ogles, or the way he’ll chew into his cheek or along his bottom lip or into the side of his finger as he follows the outline of her cleavage, or maybe it’s that when she catches him gawking, he’ll hold intense eye contact with her for a second before casting his gaze away to some other unimportant object.

Maybe it was that one time yesterday where she’d managed to pull an actual reaction out of him. They had been watching a rerun of a Scooby Doo movie, and she could feel his ghastly eyes pinned to her bust, probably because she had lied down on her stomach across her sectional sofa as he had sat on the floor in front of it, so when he turned his head, her chest had been less than a foot away. And as if that wasn’t enough, she had purposefully flushed it against the couch cushion below to make it seem extra plump and appealing, which would have knocked the air from Harry’s lungs if he still had them.

He’d released a soft whimper so broken and needy, Y/N had to fight off a conceited grin to avoid letting him know she was doing this to him with actual intention. She’d pretended not to hear it, but she had allowed herself to indulge the flare of satisfaction that rose from watching him shift his sitting position a bit, as if something were growing heavy between his thighs. His actions had vaguely made her wonder if ghosts could even feel arousal, and if they could, she hoped he was. It was the perfect revenge, because she at least knows that he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. Not with anyone else, at least.

Y/N watches as Harry reaches an arm up, easily reaching the bottle she’s attempting to retrieve. He swipes his hand across the container, the motion managing to knock it off the shelf and into her awaiting palm. She’s learned that in order to touch objects, he has to put in quite a bit of energy and concentration to succeed in breaking through the dimensional barrier that separates the living from the dead. Garnering the slightest contact can sometimes drain him a great deal, so when he does make it his mission to touch something, he does it with as little impact as possible to save his energy for later, in case he wants to grab something for an extended period of time, or grasp a heavier weight that would require more exertion.  

“Thanks.” She smiles up at him innocently, blinking her lashes with a slightly sultry air as she closes the cupboard slowly.

Harry swallows heavily, glimpsing down at where her chest is still heaving from when she’d made a grand effort to collect the ingredient she needed. He hates how his little cheeky plan had recently become the bane of his undead existence, given that Y/N had recently begun using it to her advantage. But he can’t complain, because he’s getting exactly what he asked for. He just wishes he could get more.

His voice comes out low and strained as his eyes coast back up to meet her own, which are dancing with smug amusement. “You’re welcome.”

“So what do you say?” Y/N asks, uncapping the spice and sprinkling a liberal amount into her sauce. “Think we could tweak our deal?”

Harry pulls himself back onto the counter, tapping his fingers against the surface without making a sound. “I suppose.” He replies after a moment, eyes flickering to Y/N’s chest once more as she leans down to taste the sauce. “The bralette should be fine, as long as it’s not too padded.” He shoots her a cheeky grin. “I like a bit of nipple, you know that.”

“You’re gross.” Y/N scoffs, shaking her head as she sets down the wooden spoon on the stove. “I'm gonna go change, then. Watch this for me, will you?”

And Harry does rather diligently, inhaling the flavorful aromas rising from the stove. He wishes, for the billionth time in his thirty odd years of death, that he could taste food. He knows he doesn’t need it, but even just having its essence pass over his tongue would be enough for him. He misses pasta, he thinks, staring longingly at the noodles boiling away on the stove. And pizza, and fish, and steak, cooked perfectly with a delicious side of mashed potatoes and gravy, just pink enough in the middle that it’s still tender—

“You didn’t burn down the kitchen. Good job!” Y/N’s voice calls from behind, and the ghost turns around with a retort on his lips that quickly falls away once he sees her.

She’s put on the bralette just as she said she would, and it’s everything he’s ever dreamed of. The cotton is thin enough that he can see the clear outline of what he wants through the article, and the halter neckline lands low enough that he can see every dip and curve of her breasts. A band of her stomach is exposed beneath the labeled elastic lining the bottom of the fabric, and the soft skin seems to call to Harry, making him desperate to touch it. Y/N’s decided to swap her sweatpants as well, it seems, as she’s now dressed in a loose pair of heather grey shorts that sit above her belly button and barely cover the curve of her ass. The loose legs flutter up with her every movement, and if she were about to bend over just a smidge, he could—

“How’s this?” The girl asks, flicking her loose hair over her shoulder with a simper. “Does it meet the requirements?”

Harry clears his throat, his words coming out as a pained groan. “God, you’re a fucking bitch, you know that?”

Y/N sputters into a round of airy laughter, coming to stand before him with her hands perched on her hips. Her tone is innocent, but her true intentions are written clear across her face, obvious in the way her lips twitch with evil delight. “How so? I’m abiding to our terms!”

“You’re giving me the world’s worst case of blue-balls, is what you’re doing.” Harry bites back, his sharp jaw clenching and full lips pressing into a bothered grimace. “And you’re doing it on fucking purpose.”  

“You made your casket, now lie in it.” Y/N states brightly, shrugging her brows with finality.

“Harsh.” Harry mumbles, but he can’t fight off the amused grin that tweaks his dimples into place.  

Harry slips off the counter again onto his feet, not being able to stay still. There’s a peculiar buzzing sensation coursing through each of his ghostly limbs, and anytime he stays put, it intensifies to the point where he feels like he’s going to explode into a shower of static.

He saunters up behind Y/N, looking over her shoulder as she regains her previous activity of mixing the contents in the pot while they simmer their way to completion. Despite not being able to touch her, he can still smell her just fine, and her homey scent of chamomile and jasmine are ever welcomed. She just smells so much like a girl, for a lack of a better explanation, and Harry hasn’t been this close to one his own age since before he passed. It’s driving him to the brink.

“I’d give you a taste if I could.” Y/N's soft, teasing voice echoes against his ears as she cranes her neck to look at him. “It’s a family recipe.”

“Yeah...” Harry locks eyes with her for a moment, and his hand instinctively reaches down to grasp at her waist. Instead of being met with the warm sturdiness of what he knows would be her silky skin, he’s met with the typical icy fizzing sensation that constantly haunts him whenever he tries to make contact with a living being. His digits pass right through her hip, though she barely seems to notice, the only palpable indication of his attempt being a cold breeze wafting across her flesh.

He knows it’s something that is extremely easy to brush off, usually as a simple draft from the air conditioning, given the similarities between the two experiences. And that’s exactly what she appears to do as she gives a light, dismissive shiver, not paying it any mind.

The ghost tries his best to keep his disappointment from registering in his mood, and his tone instead fills with an unreadable emptiness that only he can truly interpret. Below it lies a double meaning, and it has to do with way more than just the general desire to be able to experience the taste of good again; it holds a certain longing that pertains to a deeper type of hunger, but again, only he can truly decipher it. “Yeah, I can only dream of it.”

[fireemblems24]

Dimitri's Supports

I have waited FOREVER for this. Let's go. And I decided to put my patience to the test, saving Dedue for last.

Since it's Dimitri and I love him, and like Dedue who I also love, he's the only one unlocking all his A-Supports, I'm going to blog all my reactions to them like I did with Dedue. Part of me wishes I thought of this for the other characters, but honestly it would've taken forever lol. Plus Dimitri and Dedue get special treatment because I said so.

Raphael

Starting off with something light hearted, I hope. I do wonder if I'm going to regret not saving this one for the inevitably heavy-handed stuff coming later.

I'm seriously betting this is a support you're supposed to get in part 1 lol. Dimitri sounds young (or maybe I'm just haven't heard non-growl part 2 Dimitri enough yet?)

Dimitri's training made Raphael think he was dying lol. Dimitri's strength is really meme tier.

I need fanart of Dimitri and Chrom co-miserating their mishandled strength breaking something. And Lucina.

Lamo, Raphael has never felt a cramp before. Lucky bastard.

Raphael is a sweetie, going to apologize to his muscles. I really wish they gave him something else to talk about other than muscles and food. Not everyone needs Dimitri tier development, but I think I'd like Raphael a lot more if he just got a smidge more depth.

Got to say, it's a bit jarring to go from "moments away from a suicide charge in the rain" to "lol, Raphael, it's muscle pain." As glad as I am that I got this support, I do think some should've been locked to part 1.

And this isn't just for Dimitri's development. I also saw Marianne and Raphael's B before this support and she reverted back to her part 1 self too.

Catherine

Maybe it's just me, but he does sound a bit older.

OMG - Dimitri's back. 😭😭😭

Sorry, it didn't really hit in that first one since that seemed like a part 1 support.

Oh, cool! I was wondering if anyone would bring up Catherine returning to Faerghus. My bets is she's too loyal to Rhea. (I guessed right)

Catherine be simpin. That's ok, I get it.

So it's not because Catherine dislikes Dimitri, or that she's absolutely needed to rule House Charon, so I think Dimitri just likes her. She's cool though. I get it.

Lamo, she told him he'd better get his sleep like he's a kid.

Curious how the A+ support will play out.

Mercedes

Team Mom's support!

Oh, no, this one's taking a serious turn isn't it? But their initial supports were so light and cute.

Mercedes just told Dimitri that he's kind to a fault. Somehow I know he's going to deny that.

Annnnnd I'm right 😭😭😭He's still calling himself a killer and disgusting monster 😭😭😭

OK - so THIS seems perfectly in tone with his recent character development. But it's so sad hearing him still talk about himself that way.

Mercedes is such a therapist. I can't. She's too pure. But savage. I saw that Lorenz support.

"I am scared . . . so scared that I will forget their faces." 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Dimitri why????

Mercedes telling Dimitri to live in the present. Her supports are always so good. I legit think she's easily a top 10 favorite in this game.

Wow, Dimitri saying if someone told him that 5 years ago, he'd be different. DID NO ONE EVER GIVE HIM ANY HELP AT ALL???

I love how she's talking to him as a classmate, and equal, and not talking up to him. He's always wanted that.

Dimitri's never given his own dreams any thought 😭😭😭He really was just 100% living for other people most of the time. 😭😭😭

Awww MERCEDES, I can't. She says she just wants to keep being his friend. This is so damn sweet. And heavy. But still sweet.

It just hits super hard knowing how badly Dimitri just wanted friends in part 1. And looking back, Mercedes and Sylvain were really the only two who were pretty casual with him.

Aww, yeah, Mercedes not putting up with the bullshit, Dimitri. Telling him to quit the self-deprecation! God, I love her.

Oh, God, they both said the old FE code for "we're married" i.e. I want to "stay by your side."

Ok, @garlandgerard, I totally get why you ship this. Mercedes loves to nurture people, and Dimitri's emotionally needy, so they match pretty well. She also didn't put up with the constant self-put-downs, but stayed gentle about it. And they talked like equals too, like friends, which is what Dimitri always wanted. It's all very sweet.

Annette

Yeah, see, this one starts off with "your highness," but Mercedes it was just Dimitri. No hate for Annette. She's my girl.

These two always give me sibling vibes.

Haha, Annette "I thought I already knew you, but I'm not sure I really do." Hmmmm wonder what Dimitri did that made her think that maybe there's parts of him she didn't know. No. idea.

Hey, Annette, no one blames you for not knowing what to say to Dimitri when they reunited lol.

Annette too pure too, wanting to cheer Dimitri up with his favorite food.

Her not knowing what he likes to eat is 100% that moment when you realize you don't know someone's favorite color.

HOW can Dimitri have no strong feelings about food. I'm having pizza right now. Let me tell you, I have strong feelings about some food.

I love how easily Dimitri deflected from talking about himself lol.

Awwww, Annette wants to live with her family again. I'll make that happen, Annette. Don't worry.

Haha, they're conspiring together behind Gilbert's back.

They still have an A+ support, which is weird, because that seemed pretty well ended? Like I see why Catherine's needed more, but not this one. Still, not going to say no. I like their dynamic.

Ingrid

OCF they're training. God I love all the Faerghus childhood group though.

Oh, fuck, here comes Glenn again. My heart's not ready for this with Rodrigue dead. Poor Felix.

Ingrid being Dimitri's knight 😊😊😊 as it should be.

Haha, Dimitri asks her for an interpretation. Just make her your knight.

Glad he hasn't started saying "I'm not worthy!" Because right now it's about Ingrid's feelings.

Wow, there, Ingrid. "However you please, Your Highness." That . . . that sounds like an invitation. To "staying by your side."

Dimitri laughed. 😊😊😊

Oh, God, this is so cute. His pause asking her to support and defend him as his knight. 😊😊😊 OMG. I'm not sure that's all she had in mind though, good Sir, have you LOOKED in the mirror?

Seriously though, Ingrid's just surrounded by studs, isn't she?

Oh, God, I'm right. She didn't just mean knight. But Dimitri's too dense in that area to notice. She crushing hard. Girl, I get you.

She blushing, saying "for the Kingdom," naw, she just like him. Me too, Ingrid. Me too.

Dimitri always makes people promise not to die on him. It's so sad considering . . .

Flayn

With Flayn it's always a toss up. Sometimes things are super light hearted, and other times it's way heavy.

On a random note, does no one wonder why Flayn hasn't aged a day in 5 years?

Flayn having nightmares. Not allowed. I bet it's fucking Jeritza's fault. I'm glad you get to rip him a new one so many times in this game.

Why is Flayn apologizing?? She's never done a thing wrong in her life.

Right, Flayn's other support with Dimitri was pretty heavy. And it started so funny with him stomaching her food.

Oh, good grief, what's he apologizing for? Ok - so Dimitri did do some things wrong. But not to Flayn.

He lied. Let me guess. Her food actually sucks.

Aw, got it. He went right to the meal. Is he really going to come out and say, well it actually sucked 😂

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE MEALS???? AND THE TEA an embarrassing amount of tea.

Wait. He can't taste ANYTHING??? Like. How? Did he hide that????

Ok - I need to look at his team and dining dialogue.

OMG. He really never says a word about how anything tastes? He always just talks about smells????

OMG. How did I NOT NOTICE. I've taken Dimitri to dinner a million times. And tea timed him too many times to admit too.

AND I NEVER NOTICED HE NEVER ONCE SAID HOW ANYTHING TASTED. HOW.

OMG that support with Annette hits different now 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

OMG and Dedue's support with Flayn hits different now. Since he wanted to badly to find food Dimitri loves 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Does Dedue know? Is that why he's so dedicated to cooking??

Can I headcannon that?

OMG, I feel so awful about that jab about pizza. Dimitri CAN'T TASTE pizza or anything 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Please someone tell me there isn't any more "this awful thing also happened to Dimitri and he's failed to tell you" like learning he almost fucking died at Duscur. And now this. Dimitri needs to learn how to fucking complain.

The writers are so fucking mean to Dimitri. OMG. OMG, how am I supposed to take him to dinner and tea now, knowing this?

Why does everything hit so differently now? And so many Blue Lions supports are about food - but Dimitri can't relate

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

This game needs to stop bullying Dimitri.

But like, God, can you imagine? Not tasting anything? I'd starve. I'd actually starve. I never really get hungry. I really would starve.

On the flip side, he's good for Flayn then, since someone can eat her cooking I guess.

"I was just saying what I thought you would want to hear . . ." Dimitri - a summary.

Naw, that's a kind lie. That kind of lie doesn't really hurt anyone.

Oh - dear God. Flayn. Stop. No sampling pungent food.

Oh, she blushing. Dimitri got her blushing

Please tell me in their paired ending Dimitri gets his taste back.

Oh, there's an A+, does he taste something. Please tell me he tastes something.

This support though. It wasn't really one on my radar but

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Gilbert

Oh, man, this one right after Flayn's. God, I'm going to need the Alois one after this. Gilbert and Dimitri are two of the most somber characters in the franchise.

And I haven't forgotten that heartbreaking B support.

Haha Lambert sucked at lying too. Dimitri too pure. Weirdly, despite everything, it's still pretty true.

Oh, shit, oh shit, we're back to Dimitri's demand that Gilbert kill him. I'm betting you usually get that in part 2.

God, imagine seeing Dimitri recover only to see him beg for death again 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I need alcohol.

I need the Alois support.

OMG, shit, Dimitri. No. Don't. Stop.

Like, I know Gilbert won't really kill him, but damn. This support is heavy.

No, Dimitri, no Gilbert is not cruel for not killing you. God.

Oh, not sure about this. I get what Gilbert's going at here, but telling Dimitri that he's not allowed to die because he's got a duty is . . . I think Rodrigue's and Mercedes' live for what you want/the present is a LOT healthier.

At the same time, this is a pretty effective way to make sure Dimitri won't go and try this again, because he really takes duty seriously.

Dimitri doesn't wish to die? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Oh, thank God.

"Many times I have felt that I cannot afford to die . . . But this was the first time I truly feared the prospect." 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"Is it really right for me to live?" Oh, dear God. I'm so soft for Dimitri. I can't.

Gilbert answered that one right. 100%.

Damn, these supports.

Alois

OK. I need this one. I really need this one.

I really hope Alois' inspiration is bad puns. I need bad puns right now.

Pretty sure this is a part 1 support though. I love how Alois, not Dimitri, is leading this. And that the person the Kingdom NEEDS is running around and getting attacked by monsters lol

Ok, bad puns. Bring them.

There we go. Thank you, thank you, Alois.

OMG no one's laughing 😂😂😂

Dimitri's laughing 😭😭😭😭😭😭

That's it. This is always getting saved for part 2. I need to hear part 2 Dimitri laugh.

I'm also so glad someone finds Alois funny. Dimitri and Petra need to start a club.

OMG I love the two other confused soldiers. I needed this 😂😂😂

Marianne

These two were so sweet in their C and B supports.

I swear I'm going to end up shipping Dimitri with everyone. Except maybe Annette, no hate, they just seem so much like brother and sister to me.

And Felix x Annette 100%

Survivor's Guilt - the pairing. Both wondering why they survived 😭😭😭

"There are so many others who are much more deserving of life . . ." - who said it? Marianne or Dimitri?

These two just understand how each other feels so well. It hits so different compared to Marianne's other romantic possible supports where they just try to make her smile.

Instead these two take comfort in finding someone who understands how they feel so well and feel relieved they can share that with someone.

Haha - "I must go on living. I cannot give in to death so readily." This coming right after his support with Gilbert. Good job, Gilbert.

They've both had it so rough 😭😭😭😭😭😭

"There is no need to force yourself to smile as your soul bleeds." Dimitri always gives such good advice that he never follows.

Aww, now at least it's getting cute instead of just heavy. Marianne laughed too 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Yesss, Girl, preach. I got a little sick of her other supports all being "cheer up!" Like I know it's all in good faith, but I'm so glad this chain exists. It just hits different.

Dimitri doesn't think he's strong enough to live his life. 😭😭😭 this game. I swear.

ohhhh - ohhh, Dimitri blushing now. And all she needed to say was they've been brought closer together. Congrats Marianne!

OHHHH tables have been turned. Now someone's making Dimitri promise he needs to live!

"I don't know what I'd do with myself if we lost you . . ."

"I promise to the goddess of Fodlan that I will never give you cause for despair."

OMG these two are being so sweet, I can't. 😭😭😭😊😊😊

Felix

Oh, boy, here we go. This should be . . . interesting.

Oh, we're starting off good I see. Felix telling Dimitri he needs to answer quickly or get cut in half 😔Felix. No.

Dimitri sounds so somber 😭

Dimitri admitting both are him - the vengeful "boar" and the friendly good person. And this is why I love him.

Dimitri feels the need to shoulder all the regret the dead feel, please don't. They wouldn't want that 😭😭😭😭😭

"The dead won't acknowledge your loyalty, they don't care." - Felix not wrong there.

I partly agree with the idea Dimitri is "serving his own ego" by claiming he's acting for the dead. I think it's a bit more complicated than that, but I think that's part of it.

Felix saying some good stuff here about the dead being dead and the living being living.

"If you keep stringing gravestones around your neck, you'll snap." - Felix, I don't know if you noticed but . . . uh . . . he sort of did.

Felix telling Dimitri to become a grave keeper is a bit funny. Not going to lie.

"I'm not immune to emotion you know." - just tsunderes things

Aw, Felix is upset his father died 😭😭 after all that shit-talking about Rodrigue 😭😭

Wish Felix didn't cut Dimitri off when he said "more than anyone you-" (care about other people, unless he joins CF and just kills everyone)

Oh, God, Felix is such a tsundere. "I couldn't stand the pathetic look on your face. That's all." Sure, Felix.

Kinda wish these two had an A+ though. Seems like there's more to do than the A+ with Annette and Flayn.

Really curious to see what their paired ending is like after that. Seems they're still learning to learn about each other. Well, Felix is. Dimitri didn't seem too upset lol.

Dedue

Ok guys. Here we go. I can't believe I managed to wait for this for last. Everyone hyped this one, so let's hope.

Really? We open with Dimitri having scars on his back? 😭

From 9 years ago? So scars from Duscur then?

Images of shirtless Dimitri now. though Not bad images.

He got scars protecting Dedue?

"It makes me think that is was worthwhile that someone like me survived." 😭😭😭 he's talking about protecting Dedue? 😭😭😭

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"But I saved someone - saved you. That and that alone has been my crutch." 😭😭😭😭😭

I always knew these two were co-dependent.

Dimitri really out here saying that saving Dedue helped him "justify" surviving. 😭😭😭😊😊😊

OMG THAT'S THEIR STORY

OMG, poor Dedue. And Dimitri 😭😭😭did he literally "take a bullet" to save Dedue 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 and still has scars? No wonder Dedue's so loyal. Some kid he didn't know did that. That's one hell of an introduction.

And picturing little Dedue just resigned and angry and waiting to die and just 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Oh, Dedue, you've repaid that debt ten-fold I'm sure.

Ahaha, Dimitri's doing the "you'd better accept your worth!" discussion this time lol.

Dear God these two. Now Dimitri's bringing up that Dedue busted him out of the jail.

I swear, these two have more of a plot off screen than some routes do on screen.

And now picturing Dimitri resigned and just ready to die. And then Dedue busts in. 😭😭😭

"That was nothing more than my duty as your vassal." Stop that Dedue. Dimitri doesn't want you to be his vassal. He wants more.

Holy shit.

"You are irreplaceable. Cherished." 😭😭😭😊😊😊😭😭😭😊😊😊😭😭😭😊😊😊😭😭😭😊😊😊

Not to be that person - but I tell all my "friends" that.

Yes, Dedue, stop saying insisting you're just a "vassal" - that's a worse joke than Alois' puns from earlier.

"Please . . . do not look at me that way." What way, like you're about to make Dimitri cry, or like . . .

"You promised me you would build a Kingdom that is proud to boast of Duscur blood." - shit, man, these two. I just . . .

OMG so much emotion from Dedue. The only time I ever heard that before was in VW when he learned Dimitri died. But let's not remember that right now 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Oh shit. He called him "Dimitri." 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

And it made him blush.

OMG.

Guys, these two.

Aww, Dimitri looks so surprised. 😊😊😊😊😊😊

Oh, these two are so soft for each other. I can't. I just can't.

"To be your friend . . . is what I have always wanted." You're going to get it.

Man, I feel almost guilty S-Supporting Dimitri. He needs to pair up with Dedue pronto.

Dimitri sounds chocked up. OMG.

"So please call upon me when you walk alone at night." Ok. Dedue. Ok. Yes. Guys. This is all very straight.

I'm not saying it's - you know - cannon, but there's some big feels here.

Oh, Dimitri, stop it. You like Dedue's overprotectiveness. Don't lie.

Man, you guys were so right. Dimitri really just came out and said Dedue was "cherished" and "irreplaceable." Like, I'm not making this stuff up. And Dedue blushing hardcore just saying Dimitri's name.

They're both just so soft. I can't. I literally cannot. This support was gold. It was worth all they hype.

And learning more about how they meant. Dimitri really taking a bullet for Dedue there. I just . . .

I just want all the happiness for both of them. They're really something special towards each other. Like I legitimately think this is one of the most two-way loyal relationships in the whole franchise, and definitely the tightest bond in this game.

Like in past games you had Seth for Ephraim and Erikia and Soren for Ike and it's not like Ike, Ephraim and Erikia and etc don't care, but it wasn't the same level, you know? But this is such a two way street.

And I'm so weak for bodyguard with a crush. Like Seth/Eirika? Yes. Geoffrey/Elincia? 100%. Riza/Roy (Fullmetal Alchemist) there again. I'm sure there's more, but those are my top ones. Even Merlin/Arthur sort of counts even if Arthur doesn't know Merlin's his bodyguard lol.

I need to read fanfic for these two. I really don't want to spoil anything, but I'm dying. They're both just so sweet, and I just really love their dynamic. I really want to do a write up on it once I get to the end of the game.

[swanpyart]

The Short Lived Adventures of RAPH and Casey Jones

This is an old pic that was made for a zine that was never published. So I’ll leave it here. It might not ever be finished, but I think the story is decent enough on its own.

Part 1:

Casey was completely fine by herself.

Sure, her parents never really paid her any mind, but she never needed them to; Casey was a fast learner, and was able to cook, clean, and do pretty much anything the adults could do.

“Look!” Ten-year-old Casey held up an English vocabulary test, with an “100%” written in the corner in cursive. “I passed!”

“Honey,” her mother barely looked at her from her seat at her desk, “One hundred percent is the bare minimum. Anything less means you practically failed.”

There was always an empty space in the bleachers whenever Casey had a hockey game. She would cross her arms as she waited for her parents to pick her up and watched as the people in the audience rushed down and hugged their own children after a game, regardless of whether they won or lost. When her parents finally showed up, she sat in the car quietly as they drove.

Casey spent almost everyday after school at her Granny’s while her parents were at work. The old woman’s house was always warm, mostly because she was always baking; cakes, cookies, and especially her famous brownies - made with a special ingredient.

At twelve years old, Casey had failed a math test for the first time, and burst into tears as she walked through her Granny’s front door. “I’m a failure!”

“Sweetie, everyone fails every now and then,” her Granny wiped a tear from Casey’s cheek and got out an antique mixing bowl, “but I can tell you tried really hard. That’s what matters; that you don’t stop trying your best.”

Afterwards, Casey and her Granny spent the afternoon baking brownies, and that was when she was granted the knowledge of the secret ingredient. She swore her secrecy and never told anyone.

Of course, that was a while ago; her grandmother had passed away sometime afterwards. Her parents reacted with more emotion when Casey had shaved her head than when they attended the funeral.

They also seemed only mildly surprised when, at thirteen years old, Casey was accepted into the Foot Clan and never came back home.

There, Casey promised to herself to show the world just how much of a not-failure she really is! Even if she had to work with the most vile Clan in all the world to achieve it and release the Shredder, the ultimate evil, unto the world. She had worked above and beyond to get where she is, and no one could stop her!

At least, that’s what she thought before the Shredder disappeared, and with him, the Clan’s purpose. And way before those strange, overgrown turtles with no sense of honor or discipline showed up and destroyed their chances, time and time again.

Suddenly, the group she had worked with since she was a preteen, and the closest thing she had to any family, were dragged away by outside obligations she never understood.

Foot Brute and Lieutenant were better parents than her own, but, in the end, they were her bosses and coworkers, and no replacement for a family.

Sure, everyone else may have given up, but she would stay committed to the Clan’s ultimate vision, even if she had to use her dear Granny’s recipe for evil. Grandma CJ’s Brownies were an absolute bust, but she had to try something.

Then, she met this weird, giant, smelly rat with a Japanese accent dressed like a teenager who somehow turned out to be the father of those overgrown turtles.

And, as weird as it was, despite not even being human, he sat next to her and heard what she had to say; and, for those few minutes, it was almost like being next to her Granny again.

“Just because you failed doesn’t make you a failure.”

If she had been smarter, maybe she should have listened a bit harder to what he was saying. If she had been smarter, maybe she would have calmed down and talked to the girl that was beating up the Girl Scouts. There were so many opportunities to just talk.

But then the Shredder was restored, and she really thought it would be the return of her Clan’s glory. Even as she looked at the beaten down forms of her previous bosses. Even as she saw Splinter and his family struggling for their lives. Even as she realized winning would mean the end of everything, including her.

There was no more Clan. She was still alone. She was just alone with a giant evil suit of demon armor.

But, now, she wasn’t.

Even after everything, Splinter offered her an invitation into their...

Family.

------------------------------------------------------

He had invited her to the lair a few weeks after the fight with Shredder.

“I’m working at the Foot Shack. After my former clan disbanded, they got bought out by another company, Splinter, sir.” She squeezed the mug of tea in her hands.

“Just ‘Splinter’ is fine,” Splinter had opened a bag of chips, and was reclining in his seat. The turtles were out with April at the arcade, taking a break from repairing the lair. “Where are you staying? Do you have a place to live?”

“Yes, I actually have my own apartment.”

There was a moment of awkward silence. Splinter sighed. “Listen, Casey, I know that it’s probably hard having to... uh, sort things out by yourself-”

“What?! No, I’m fine!” She flapped her hand dismissively. “My life is fantastic! It’s definitely not in complete shambles after losing everything I know.” She blinked, realizing that she overshared, and collected herself. “I’m doing great.”

“I-I never said it was in shambles,” He massaged his temple with two clawed fingers, his beady eyes squinting in frustration. “Look, all I am saying is that, if you ever need help, or if you ever get lonely and just want to talk, I am here. And my sons would probably say the same thing. You’re a Hamato now, at least in spirit.”

Casey’s eyes widened, then she looked down. “Thank you, but I’m a very independent person. I’ll be sure to not bug you unless it’s an emergency.”

Splinter nodded, but he’d dealt with enough children to see that Casey was a bit lonely. Still, he said nothing.

For a good while, Casey stuck to what she said; she didn’t really come by the lair unless she really felt the need to or if they needed an extra set of hands with repairing.

But… occasionally, she found herself asking questions. She found out Michelangelo loved cooking, and somehow he got her to agree to bake her Granny’s brownies together. She realized that Leonardo wasn’t just annoying in battle, but all the time, and that she started getting more and more used to it, even occasionally laughing along. She found out while playing video games with them, that Donnatello was just as vicious as her, and that April was equally as competitive.

And Raph, well… they didn’t talk very much. But he seemed nice every time they spoke.

But she kept her distance. After all, it was better if she didn’t get too attached.

She occasionally goes down to the local hockey rink and plays a few rounds with total strangers, and usually gets kicked out due to a combo of delinquent children and complaining parents.

So, here she is, lying on her bed, staring blankly at her phone, with a half eaten sandwich laying on her chest, and old sweatpants that she’s been wearing for a week because her clothes are in the laundromat. For a ninja-slash-ex-cult-member, her life had fallen into a fairly mundane pattern.

Everything could always be worse. So why did she still feel like such a failure?

And for some reason, Casey found herself at the sewer grate. She didn’t even know why she came here, really.

She was about to turn back when a feminine voice spoke from behind her. “Hey, CJ, what’s up?”

She spun around. It was April.

“I was just coming to visit.” Casey tensed up. She hadn’t expected to run into someone else.

“Oh, me too!” She opened up the grate, and started climbing down the ladder. “You coming or what?”

Casey gulped. She couldn’t back out now.

------------------------------------------------------

Raph paced the lair, quietly groaning as he tapped his chin.

It had been about six months since the fight with Shredder, but another challenge had presented itself; cleaning up the lair after it had been almost completely demolished. Thankfully, with Draxum’s help and Donnie being able to scavenge some old tech that didn’t get destroyed and whip up some devices for reconstruction, the place was finally fixed up after about a month and a half.

Now what? Well, in Leo’s words, it was the time for “rest and relaxation.”

That was pretty easy for the rest of his family to do.

Leo’s entire existence hinged on “rest and relaxation”; Mikey has an assortment of hobbies to keep him busy; Donnie had a tight schedule trying to repair all of his broken inventions; April was trying to adjust to all of the changes at school due to all of New York recovering from the recent Battle Nexus catastrophe; and Splinter, of course, was parked in front of the TV, finally at peace after the Shredder was defeated, and helping himself to milk and cake.

Raph should be relaxing, or at least recovering from all that’s happened to them. The fight with the Shredder was the most stressful and terrifying time of their lives. They lost their Gram-Gram, and even if she was now able to rest with their ancestors and her father, it still stung.

But it’s been such a long time since he’s been in a real fight, and he can tell he’s going a little bit stir-crazy.

Of course, the turtles would spend a lot of time out of the lair; but whenever Raph gets a call on the phone, he finds himself hoping it’s some kind of an emergency, only to turn out to be Todd calling them about the puppy farm, or Leo pestering Senior Hueso with an order for pick-up. It seemed like even their strongest enemies have gone on hiatus as well; there was no word of Big Mama as of late, and every other major bad guy they fought recently seemed to have been exhausted by the Shredder ordeal as well.

Raph’s usual sparring partner, Frankenfoot, is absolutely wonderful, but fighting him wasn’t exactly what Raph had in mind; it was fun, but couldn’t really be compared to the thrill of a real fight.

“Come on, guys,” Raph stood in front of the screen, blocking Leo and Mikey’s view of a Jupiter Jim rerun while Pops was passed out on the couch, snoring, a bag of chips lying open on his stomach. “We’ve been cooped up in the lair for a million years. Who wants to go wreck some bad guys?” He pounded his fist in his opposite hand for emphasis.

“Raph, I can’t see!” Mikey waved his hand in a dismissive way as he said it, and leaned to peek around his older brother and continue watching the screen.

“Ugh, we’ve been over this,” Leo exasperated from his spot on the ground, on his stomach and his head resting on his propped arms. “No crime fighting while we’re on vacation! This is the time to chillax, my guy.”

“How long are we gonna be chillaxing, exactly?” Raph put his hands on his hips, an inquisitive look on his face, even if, deep down, he knew what response he’d get.

“I don’t know, until some other crazy evil mutant guy tries to take over the city? There’s bound to be another one of those eventually.”

“What, so we just wait until some evil mastermind has some evil plan and gets all of New York in their evil clutches? It’s our job to make sure that doesn’t happen.” Raph tried to summon the energy he usually exudes when he attempts to make a rousing speech, but the rolling eyes and groans from his youngest brothers quickly made its effect futile.

“You know,” Donnie said from the back of the room, the other three having not noticed him walk in, “We did, oh, I don’t know, save all of New York City, take down Big Mama’s Battle Nexus scheme, and, most importantly, defeat our bloodline’s greatest enemy?!”

Raph furrowed his brow, his sharp fang digging into his lower lip.

“We deserve an indefinite break, and I need it, because I actually refuse to do any fighting until I have all my stuff back online. I’d love to fight with only my impeccable mind, but let’s be realistic.” The sandwich in his hand was brought to his face and he swallowed it whole. Donnie knew he had made an excellent point.

“Don’t worry,” Mikey beamed, tucking his arms and legs into his shell, “We’ll get back into the groove of things before you know it!”

“Yeah,” Leo agreed, “Think of it as, like, you know, self-care. Sometimes, you need a break from what you’re used to. Now, can you move out of the way?”

Raph sulked out of his siblings’ view of the screen and sunk into a beanbag, next to the couch their father was snoring in.

------------------------------------------------------

“Hey, guys!” The turtles turn around to see April and... Foot Recruit walk in.

Raph didn’t really know what to think of Foot Recruit, or Casey, as she preferred to be called. Pops insisted that she wasn’t dangerous anymore, but it was hard for him not to be a little wary; I mean, come on, she used to work with the Shredder!

 She’d been over only a handful of times over the past few months, usually to speak with Splinter and Mikey.

“Casey! April!” Mikey stuck his hands out of his shell in joy. He ran over and hugged them both. “It’s been a while.”

“Hey, Apes. And, hi to you too, Casey.” Leo kicked his legs up behind him.

“Above ground has been pretty hectic,” April leaned on Donnie’s shoulder as she spoke, “Everyone has been freaking out about disappearing from New York for a few days. Relaxing on a yacht sure beats coming back to the city in shambles. And finding another job is so hard when everyone’s paranoid we’re gonna all disappear again. Ugh, I wish we did, then I’d get another break!”

“Well, if you want a job, you can help me repair what’s left of my s- I mean, S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. The Shredder tore him apart.” Donnie put his hands on his hips and relaxed his posture to cover his slip-up.

“Aw, your cute robot son isn’t repaired yet?” April teased.

As the two bickered while walking towards the lab, Raph looked back at Casey, who was standing by the entrance, visibly tense. 

“Hey, Casey. Um, why are you here?” Raph asked innocently, not realizing how rude he sounded.

“Smooth,” Leo chimed in unhelpfully.

Before he could take it back, Casey spoke, with a glare on her face. “I’m here for the orange one.”

Raph blinked. “Huh?”

“We’re gonna bake brownies!” Mikey clarified, his chest puffed out with pride. “Casey decided that I’m worthy of learning an old family recipe.”

“Yes!” Casey grinned, in a way that was far too menacing for someone talking about brownies. “I decided that, as a new member of your- um…” clan? Group? Committee?

“...Family?” Raph assisted.

“Uh, yes, that,” she turned shy for a few brief seconds, only to return to her previous bravado, pumping her fist in the air, “I will honor you with the knowledge of my grandmother’s most nefarious secret!”

------------------------------------------------------

Raph peeked into the kitchen as Mikey and Casey got to work. Of course, he trusted Mikey; but he had a hunch that Casey might be up to something.

Or maybe the boredom was just making him a bit more paranoid than usual.

Dirty dishes, half-full cups and brownie mix were strewn about the kitchen counter. Whatever this recipe pertained, it must be pretty intense.

“And, now, for the final ingredient. This one was given to me by my grandmother.” Casey pulled a canister of brown powder. She leaned over and whispered close to Mikey’s head. Whatever she was saying, Raph couldn’t hear.

Mikey gasped. “PUMPKIN SPICE?!”

Casey shushed him, then yelled herself. “It’s a secret, remember?!” She poured a generous amount into the mixing bowl full of batter.

The two of them looked so happy baking together, and Raph felt a pit of guilt in his stomach for assuming the worst. He really needed to chill out.

------------------------------------------------------

“Wait, so let me get this straight,” Leo sunk into the bean bag chair, “You’re a fan of Lou Jitsu, right?”

“That is correct.” Casey was sitting stiffly in her seat. Her expressions were intense, like she was about to strangle someone, but Raph had realized pretty quickly that this was just her default.

“You have all of the movies memorized?”

“Of course! I used his guidelines for self improvement in my schemes to take over the world! I mean, that’s not really relevant now, but-”

“And you said you spend almost all of your available money on Lou Jitsu merch?”

“I hide them all so my guests don’t see.”

“And, yet, you’ve never watched a Jupiter Jim film? The Jupiter Jim, his longtime franchise rival and co-star in Jupiter Jim Vs Lou Jitsu?” Leo clutched at his chest, as he held up the DVD case of the movie he was talking about for emphasis.

“Leo,” Raph warned, looking up from his phone, “don’t make her feel bad-”

Leo chuckled. “Oh ho ho, trust me I won’t. I’m definitely putting on a Jupiter Jim Vs. The Galaxy Riders Part 1 and Part 2, and you are going to love it!”

Casey cackled ominously. “You really think this ‘Jupiter Jim-’” She made quotation marks with her fingers for emphasis, “-can measure up to the greatness that is Lou Jitsu? Fine, I guess we’ll just have to see.”

Raph ended up dozing off after the fifth film, and woke up to see Casey and his brother still openly debating whether Lou Jitsu would beat Jupiter Jim if they were both in a desert completely unarmed and at full strength.

------------------------------------------------------

“I’m not scared of much,” Donnie mentions offhandedly one day, while Raph was doing a bicep curl, “but she -”

He points to Casey eating a sandwich like a hyena, while April sat next to her, texting.

“She terrifies me to no end.”

Donnie’s strange relationship with their new friend took Raph a while to comprehend. Then it became clear as day. If anyone could match Casey in moral ambiguity, it was his immediate younger brother.

“I made you a little gift,” the softshell grinned smugly, as he handed Casey what looked like a metal hockey stick.

“Oh, um,” Casey's eyes were wide, and a little watery, and her lips were in a warbly smile. “Thank you… no one’s ever given me something so nice.”

Donnie grinned. “Press the button on the side.”

When she did, the widest end of the hockey stick flipped open like a lighter, and a stream of fire shot out of the tip. Casey’s tears of joy gave way to maniacal laughter. “Those kids at the hockey rink won’t know what hit ‘em!”

Donnie joined her in glee, his eyes and teeth shining menacingly in the light of the flames. Raph watched in mild horror (He was plenty used to Donnie’s antics), at least until the fire alarm sounded and they were all drenched from the sprinklers.

------------------------------------------------------

Another month had passed since Casey started coming around, and Raph seemed like the only one in the lair who hadn’t quite jived with her yet. Sure, his suspicion had pretty much subsided, and he liked her company plenty, but the two of them hadn’t really clicked.

However, he noticed some slight changes over time. Casey’s eyes had bags under them which were more obvious in brighter lights, and sometimes she fell asleep on April’s shoulder (and snored louder than his Pops, somehow). Sometimes, there were hints of sadness on her face, even when she was laughing along with everyone.

Raph didn’t mention it for fear of being rude, but he couldn’t help his concern. After all, if she was upset, she probably wouldn’t mention to him all of the people.

------------------------------------------------------

Hockey wasn’t a sport Raph and his brothers knew much about, but he couldn’t help but get excited as Casey gushed about it, holding tightly onto the treasured tech-hockey stick Donnie had gifted her, wearing a huge grin on her face.

The two humans and four turtles (disguised as humans, of course) were just entering the hockey rink. The hall to the auditorium was cold and echoey.

“I come here every other Friday. The regulars here know my face, and they fear it. It’s ‘cause they know I’ll decimate everyone in my path!” She pumped her fist as she spoke, a sinister grin on her face, before she caught herself and straightened out. “Well, I do until the rink’s supervisors kick me out for making a scene and being mean to children.”

“Don’t sweat it, Casey,” Donnie spoke up, “You’re not the only one whose been kicked out of establishments for scaring kids.”

“Uh huh, exactly!” April agreed a bit too eagerly, and Raph looked back to see the distant, traumatized look in her eyes, and he could tell she was remembering the screams of children and the  sinister laughter of animatronics at a certain pizza joint.

The six teens got to the rink’s auditorium, and put their bags down on the bleachers. There weren’t too many people around.

Mikey whistled. “This place is massive!”

As Raph put on a maroon hoodie and pulled on his skates, Casey rolled onto the rink, over to a huddle of teenagers wearing hockey gear. “Hey!”

One of the teenagers - a boy with messy brown hair covering his eyes - responded. “Oh, you again. Guys, look, it’s that crazy girl from last week.”

“The name is Cassandra Jones!” Casey pulled down the hockey mask she was wearing and held up her stick. “I’m challenging you to another round! Did you really think you’d escape my wrath?!”

The kids started laughing. “You challenge us every time we’re here, and you always lose. What makes today so different?”

Casey laughed. “Well, for one thing, I’ve got my own team now, so you better get ready to go crying to your mommy!”

The group hadn’t stopped laughing, even as Casey walked back to the bleachers. Raph raised a brow. “Uh, what was all of that?”

She looked down. “Those are my enemies,” She clenched her fists, “A group of jerks who manage to beat me every time I come here.”

Raph paused for a second. The look on her face was determined, but had a hint of sadness to it. Raph understood how she felt; wanting to fight, but getting beaten down time and time again. He’d realized a while ago that he didn’t have to do it alone; and neither did she.

Raph put an arm around Casey’s shoulders, and cupped a hand to his mouth, shouting to the teenagers from across the rink. “Hey, knuckleheads! You get ready for a match; you’re not just dealing with Cassandra Jones anymore! you’re dealing with the Mad Dogs, now!”

“Yeah, right!” One of the kids, a girl with a ponytail, shouts back.

He turned to face his brothers and April, who were sitting on the bleachers, their attention already on Raph from his shouting. “Hey, those guys over there are saying we’re gonna lose! What do we say to that?!”

“Oh ho ho, I like this energy!” Leo stood up on the bleachers, joining in the hype. April and Mikey stood up beside him.

“Yeah, you chumps aren’t even at our level!”

“Ya’ll ain’t seen nothing yet!”

Donnie stood up slowly, his arms crossed from the cold. “Yeah, we’ll definitely beat you! But-” He switched to his normal volume, “let’s not make promises we can’t keep.”

Raph dismissed him, and looked at Casey, who was smiling. Together, they were able to beat the Shredder. This would be a piece of cake.

------------------------------------------------------

“Are we done? My mom is here to pick me up,” One of the kids, a girl with pigtails, mentioned as she walked towards her belongings on the bleachers.

Raph was gasping for air from his spot on the cold ground. Hockey was hard. Like, really, really hard.

In hindsight, their loss made sense; this was the turtles and April’s first time playing hockey, and even Casey, who’d been playing since she was a kid, wasn’t able to beat these kids. They really were just that good.

“Is that all you’ve got?!” Leo had fallen in front of the goal, two huge purple bruises visible on his face; one on his forehead, and the other under his eye, popping out from his green skin and red birthmarks.  

Mikey was crying on his knees, while April patted his shell, cussing out one of the kids who she felt pushed him too hard. Even as the kid was walking away. “And another thing-”

Donnie lay flat nearby, looking like a purple stain on the white shiny floor. He was never good at sports, but he tried. Geez, it was almost more embarrassing, with just how hard he tried.

------------------------------------------------------

They found a vending machine, and after Raph gave Leo a cold soda can to hold over his bruises, he walked past Casey, sitting with her head in her hands.

“Hey,” He placed a hand on her shoulder, and looked around to see if the others were watching. April, Mikey and Donnie were going off about losing the match, while Leo sat dejectedly in the corner, nursing his injuries. “Are you alright?”

She looked up, tears in her eyes, and her lower lip wobbling. She hastily rubbed at her face with her sleeve, her eyeliner smearing. “I’m...I’m fine.”

“Is this about us losing?”

“No, no, it’s not that,” She sighed. “It’s a lot of different things- It’s just…”

She trailed off, and Raph sat down next to her on the bleacher. He realized this had definitely been bubbling up for a while. If only he’d talked to her sooner.

“Ugh, all I’ve ever wanted was to be a success. Taking over the world was everything for me- helping the Foot, working for the Shredder, making that whole brownie pyramid-scheme. But now? I don’t have anything. I’ve hit rock bottom. Now, I’m stuck in a stupid rivalry with a bunch of kids in a hockey rink.”

She began to cry again. “What am I going to do? Am I just doomed to be a failure?”

“Just ‘cause you’re not taking over the world doesn’t make you a failure. Most people just stick to regular, everyday stuff and they turn out fine.”

“It’s not just about taking over the world,” Casey sighed. “I don’t have a purpose. No Clan, no commitments, no future. It’s like everything I do is a failure. I’m a failure.”

Raph felt himself start to tear up, too. What she was saying felt way too familiar. “You’re not the only one whose failed.”

“Huh?”

“My Pops told us we were supposed to die in order to protect the Dark Armor. We failed to do that, but we realized how messed up that was, and we decided to do our own thing. And it totally worked out for us, ‘cause we ended up destroying Shred-face once and for all.”

He stood, wiping the small tears from the corners of his eyes. “Think about it. So what that you don’t got a purpose? I get it, but your ‘purpose’ was handed to you by those Foot-faces. What do you wanna do? What do you wanna succeed at?”

Casey sat quietly for a few moments, thinking, and Raph feared that he might have said something hurtful. He was never as savvy with people as Leo or Mikey.

Then she spoke. “I spent all of my life trying to be the best, even if it meant being the biggest bad guy in the world. Now, I want to be the best good guy!”

Her expression softened. “I guess what I really want - I want to stop people who were like me once. I want to stop evil people who want to control others. But...how?”

Raph thought. Then, an idea struck him. “You and me can team up!”

“For what?”

“I was a vigilante for a little while. I mean, I used to be, but I guess since I was already part of a team, and with the whole Shredder thing, I just sort of stopped. But, since my bros are on hiatus, you and me could fight crime undercover!”

Casey was looking at her lap, her head bowed. Raph cleared his throat. “I mean, only if you wanna, it’s just a suggestion-”

“That sounds amazing.” Casey looked up at him in awe, her dark eyes glossy with unshed tears. Suddenly, she stands up, and pumps a fist into the air. “Raph and Casey, the most feared vigilante duo in all of New York!”

“Yeah, Go big or go home!”  Raph pounded his fist into his other hand in excitement.

“Oh me gosh, stop yelling!” The two look behind them to Leo, still holding the can to his face. He turned in the direction of his twin. “Donnie, get me another can! This one’s warm!”

Casey was giving him a big smile, a far cry from her previous mood. Raph smiled back. Finally, he’d be able to go out and fight crime again; and this time, he wouldn’t be at it alone.

[daydreamingsora-fics]

YOSHAAAAAA!!! I’M A THRIST MAMA READER ABOUT INARIZAKI WHICH BY THE WAY I LOVE UR RECENT HCS! I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! can i request another inarizaki related?👉👈🥺 a one-shot will do about full of crack and plantonic relationship! It’s about 3rd years’ graduation!

◣ sora’s memo◥  Thank you uwu, I’m glad that you enjoyed my previous hcs. This is actually longer than I expected lmao. I also added some slight angst because I feel angsty the time I wrote this but that’s only a little angst, if your squint you’ll see it. Anyways here’s your request! I hope that you’ll like it and will enjoy uwu. Stay safe and take care always my loves~ (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ 

Our last bonding together

word count: 3,534 words

genre: fluff, crack, and slight angst

⚠warning⚠: slight swearing and UNEDITED

Today will be the last day that Kita and his fellow third year teammates would be having a lunch with the whole team. This would be also the last time that Kita will be giving advice to the team as their captain. The role of being the captain will be pass down to Atsumu. The other teammates were worried at first but when Kita told them the reason why Atsumu was chosen to be the captain made the team at ease.  Kita believes in Atsumu’s potential as a captain which made the blonde boy more relaxed.

Tomorrow is the graduation of the 3rd years, so technically, tomorrow is their last day with the team but you being their manager you requested a lunch with the team today to celebrate their graduation and also bond with the third years before they part ways. And you being the manager that they all precious, (even Suna but he is just lowkey) agreed to your request but they have a condition (mostly it’s Atsumu). The get together will be on your house and you will cook for their lunch. Osamu volunteered to help you so he could improve and learn some tips from you in cooking. Since your house has a large backyard and also had this ‘outdoor kitchen’, you happily agree to their condition.

So now, here you are in the know preparing the ingredients you need for the foods you will be cooking, you also have received a message from Osamu that he and his twin are almost there in your house. So, you quickly the vegetables you need and started to cook the rice. More minutes passed by, with you chopping the vegetables, you’ve got another text from Osamu that they are already in front of your house. You washed your hands and went back inside your so you could go to the front of the house. When you opened the gate and saw the gray and blonde headed twin standing outside. Osamu is wearing the red track jacket of the team and under the jacket is a plain black shirt paired with a pale blue ripped jeans and a black high cute converse while his twin brother, Atsumu, is wearing a plain white shirt under his track jacket and it is paired with a black ripped jeans and white shoes.

“Hey, y/n! wassup”

“good morning, y/n, I brought the other ingredients you needed”

The twins greeted you when you have opened the gate and Osamu showed the plastic filled with the ingredients you have texted to him to buy on the way.

“Hi guys! Welcome to our family’s house and thank you, Osamu” you welcomed them and made way for them to enter. The twins went inside your house and as soon as they entered, they were fascinated with the interior and on how huge your house is.

“Wow, y/n, you never told us that you have this huge house” Atsumu said as he roams his eyes around the living room of your house. You chuckled at his reaction while Osamu rolled his eyes on his twin brother’s remarks.

“Well you’ve never asked me though” you answered making the blonde boy scrunch his nose with your answer. Osamu looks around your house and noticed that he has not seen your parents or anyone around the house except but you.

“Where are your parents?” the gray-haired boy asked you.

“My parents is at work today whule my older brother lives in his dorm in Tokyo then my other older brother is staying over with his friend today” you explained making the twins nod their heads.

“How about maids? Don’t you guys have maids?” Atsumu asked out of curiosity. You shook your head as answer to his question.

“My parents don’t want to hire maids because they want us to learn to do the house chores and not rely on other people to do it, so when do general cleaning, it’s like the death of us” you explained.

“well that’s kind of brutal but at the same time good for practicing independency” Atsumu commented.

“So where are we gonna eat our lunch?” Osamu said as he noticed that the inside kitchen is clean and there are no plates on the table in the dining area.

“We will eat our lunch on our backyard.” You answered the boy as you lead the way to the door that will make you three go to the backyard of the house.

“Where do you cook?” he questioned again.

“There’s a kitchen outside” you said which left the twins amazed, especially Osamu. He wished he could have two kitchens, that would be his paradise. With your lead, the three of you have reached the backyard of the house. You and Osamu went straight to the outdoor kitchen while Atsumu roamed around as he is so impressed with how wide your backyard is.

“WOW Y/N! YOUR BACKYARD IS HUGE!” Atsumu commented as he run around the backyard like when Rapunzel first timed to leave her tower. Osamu hummed as an agreement to his twin’s statement.

“Yeah, Y/N your backyard is huge even this kitchen.” He complimented the interior of the house, making you smile. “If ever I would have a kitchen like this, it will be heaven” Osamu joked making you chuckled and just shook your head with the twins’ fascination on your backyard and outdoor kitchen. Either more, you and Osamu started to cook and prepare for the lunch while Atsumu is still acting like a child and continued running around the backyard. You and Osamu started cooking for the team’s lunch while Atsumu explores your backyard, he also plays the role of the taste tester.

Soon, the member of the team started texting you as they have arrived r your house, you told Atsumu to open the gate for them and lead them to the backyard. Osamu is setting the table while you are doing the finishing touches of the food. You now hear the noises of boys talking to each other and being fascinated by the house and backyard. You now put the last food you and Osamu cooked on the huge and long picnic table.

“Woah, that’s a lot of food!” Akagi was astonished when he saw the foods on the table. You and Osamu greeted the whole team and they greeted you back.

“Suna, suna, look how big y/n’s backyard, we can play volleyball here!” Atsumu said as he run across the yard while Suna follows Atsumu with his eyes and stood beside you.

“Yeah, you have a big house, Y/n” Suna complimented as he roams his gray narrow eyes. You just laugh it off the comment and said a shy thank you. This is actually your first-time inviting friends in your ever since your 1st year of middle school. You never invited your friends or classmates in middle school but since the whole Inarizaki volleyball club is precious to you, you gladly invited them to your house.

“by the way, Y/N, where are your parents?” Kita asked you, making you to look at the captain from your back.

“oh, they are at work, Kita-san” you answered and the boy just nodded.

“well, let’s now eat these foods before it gets cold” Kita stated as he took a seat on the table while the other followed their captain. You called for Atsumu and Ojiro, who’s roaming around the backyard, and told them it’s time to eat. The two immediately went back to the long table and took their seat.

“Thank you for the food!” everyone thanked and they started digging in to the foods while you observe their reaction as the they take a bite to the foods you cooked. Even though you had made them a bento box before, you’re still nervous to what would be their reaction with your cooking now.

“this curry taste good!”

“hmm! You’re really good at cooking, y/n-san!” the team complimented. This made you feel relieved, knowing the whole team liked your cooking.

“Well, I wouldn’t be able to finish cooking these foods without the help Osamu” you acknowledge the gray headed man, who’s busy eating beside you. Osamu looked at you and gave you a soft smile which made you blush a little.

“I’m glad I could help you, Y/N-san” he winked at you that made you blush even more, if that could even happen, and this made his other teammates ‘ooh’-ed. Osamu rarely flirts with you, it’s mostly Atsumu who always gives cheesy lines that’s why you’re not used to it if Osamu flirted with you.

“Osamu, you’re such a flirt!” Atsumu commented at his twin’s remarks.

“So, what did Atsumu do here in your house? Did he help you guys?” Aran questioned you both Osamu.

“He didn’t do anything” Osamu bluntly answered Aran’s question which made the whole team let out “knew it” like they’ve expected it from Atsumu.

“HEY! I helped you guys, I brought out the things you need that was left inside the house” his twin brother protested as soon he heard Osamu’s answer. “I even grilled the yakitori and yakiniku” he added which made you shook your head as a denial.

“you put the yakitori and yakiniku on the grill the left!” you complained while the whole team watches as you and Osamu teams up against Atsumu.

“Oh, that’s why the other yakitori and yainiku look slightly burned” Ginijima sudden realization as he looks at the grilled chicken meat, pork and beef.

“Yeah! after putting them on the griller, he left and started roaming around the backyard again” you affirmed making Atsumu whined.

“Yah, Suna backed me up here” Atsumu calls Suna, who’s enjoying the tempura. Suna just gave him a glance and continued eating.

“You’re alone there, Atsumu” he said and took another bite of tempura making you chuckled.

“Atsumu, you should have helped Y/N and Osamu” Kita spoke making Atsumu looked at him with disbelief while you just chuckled.

For the whole time, you and the whole member of the club ate lunch and joke around each other. Suna always roast Atsumu whenever the blonde guy tries to say a joke and Osamu sometimes join Suna in roasting his twin brother which could lead to an argument with the two. When they sense the twin would start arguing, Kita will interfere and the twins would immediately stop.

After eating lunch, the other members went to the backyard and they started playing and chasing each other, while you were left behind to put the dishes on the sink. Osamu and Kita volunteered to help you in washing the dishes and cleaning up. You happily accepted their offer and assigned Osamu in washing the dishes then Kita on cleaning the table up while you dry the dishes.

After cleaning up, the three of you joined them who’s now playing dodgeball. The three of you stood beside Ginjima and Riseki, and watch Suna and Aran teaming up to make Atsumu lose the game.

“Why are you guys only targeting me?! hit Akagi-san too!” he complained as he kept on dodging the ball while Akagi is just following Atsumu goes back and forth.

“Our goal is to make you out of the game first, but–“ Suna halted then threw the ball to Akagi, catching the boy off-guard and getting hit by the ball. “you suggested to hit Akagi-san first, so I will take your request” Suna continued making Akagi groan while you and the other team let out an ‘ooh’.

“this is getting more interesting” you commented while Osamu hummed. He is very happy that his brother is getting teamed up by his other teammates.

“nice one, Suna!” Aran cheered while Atsumu tilted his head and sighed.

“I really feel like Suna hated me” Atsumu blurted making Osamu replied on the background.

“Your thoughts are correct! He does hates you” Osamu replied which Atsumu glared at his brother. Seeing Atsumu distracted with his brother, Suna gave a signal to Aran to throw now the ball and the boy did throw the ball, hitting Atsumu.

“why you– ow!” he was about to attack his brother but Atsumu got attacked by the ball, making the two boys he is playing with, scream with delight.

“NICE SHOT ARAN!”

“WAY TO GO ARAN!”

“NICE KILL”

You and his teammates applaud at his shot, while Aran and Suna high fived each other. Kita clapped at them like he was impressed with the teamwork his teammates did. Meanwhile, Atsumu glared at his twin brother while the gray headed boy smirked at his lost.

“YOU DISTRACTED ME, YOU SCUMBAG” Atsumu blamed his as he dashes towards his brother and catching yours and the team’s brother.

“well it’s not my fault that you get distracted easily” Osamu retorted making Atsumu growls at him. Meanwhile, you and team, who’s already used with how the twins fight, didn’t even budge to stop them because you guys know that they’ll be just insult each other.

“oh, you’re growling now, what are you? A dog?” Osamu provokes his twin brother more. You guys watched them silently like you guys are watching drama on the tv, enjoying the twins fight.

“Do you guys want some popcorn?” you offered to them and they nodded jokingly. Sometimes, you guys let them fight each other but when the things heat up, you and Kita will mostly the first one to step in. But for now, you will just watch them do their childish fight.

“I would love that, y/n” Suna replied making you chuckled.

“why you dickhead!” Atsumu stepped closer to his brother while Osamu looks at him boringly.

“Yes, my dick has a head, does yours have one?” Osamu answered back.

“HEY! I’m older than you for minutes!” Atsumu remarked and pointing his index finger to his brother.

“Well then act like one!” Osamu replied back. The team chuckled at Osamu’s remark while Kita just shook his head like he is so done with the twins.

“You guys, stop chuckling” Kita warned you and the team which made you all quiet and look somewhere else.

“And you two, stop fighting” Kita stepped in between Atsumu and Osamu, making the two boys stepped back from each other.

“When will they come that you two will stop fighting each other” Kita said with a stern voiced as he looks at the twins.

“well if he could–“ Atsumu stopped midway from his sentence when Kita gave him warning look.

“The two of you, stop fighting, let’s just enjoy this day altogether and have fun” Kita told the twins while those two nodded quietly at their captain with a pout on their face. This whole scene was nothing new to your eyes and the whole team’s but it still amazed you all on how these two get easily controlled by Kita. That’s why you sometimes called Kita as the mom of the team just because on how could handle the two boys and made them shut up. After the small fight of the twins, you guys continued to play around on your backyard until it was time to go home.

————————————————————————☞

Today is the graduation of the third years, all of the team were at the gymnasium. The ceremony hasn’t started yet so you guys decided to meet up with Kita before it started. You guys waited for the third years to arrive on the gym, maintaining the silent, sometimes you Atsumu will talk but mostly everyone is quiet as they wait. Even though Kita had told you guys that they would be still there for the team, you guys can help but to sink it in that they will not be playing on the court again with the whole team.

Today is the day that reality hits you that this would be officially their last day being with you and you can’t help but feel sad. You wouldn’t be greeted by easy going Akagi, you wouldn’t anymore see the scary looking aura but has a soft personality Omimi. You wouldn’t ever hear Aran’s random dad jokes whenever you bumped on each other on the hallway or when they were on the break during training. Lastly, you wouldn’t hear those blunt yet wise remarks and advices from Kita every time the team are feeling doubtful. With those of realization, you can’t help but feel empty.

But on the brighter side, you feel proud and thankful with them, because they built this powerhouse team. Without them, this club wouldn’t be this stronger than ever. You’re proud of them as they would be chasing and be living their dreams. And you know that even though they are not around anymore, they will still be there to support the team.

Another minutes have passed of waiting when the gym door opened and the third years start entering. All of you gathered around the third years and congratulated them. The third years thanked you all and give the whole gym a last glance.

“I can’t believe this would be our last time stepping on this gym” Aran said as he looks around the gym.

“It feels like yesterday when I first stepped in here as a new recruitment of volleyball” Akagi reminisced while Omimi let out a hummed and Kita a silent yeah as their agreement. You can’t help but looked at them with a sad smile as you observe them.

“C’mon, let’s not be dramatic here and just think that you guys would just take one step up to achieve your dreams” Atsumu cheered his seniors up, shocking the whole team with his words.

“Wow, Atsumu coming from you” Suna commented making Atsumu crunched his nose.

“That’s his way to cheer his self-up when he feels sad” Osamu retorted making Atsumu glared at him. Atsumu opened his mouth to say something but Kita cleared his throat to warned the boy, making him shut his mouth again.

“Atsumu, you should be more mature, especially now that you’re the new captain” Akagi commented while Omimi hummed as an agreement. You can’t help but chuckled because of Omimi’s way of agreeing on things, you sure will miss his silent affirmation with what others will say.

“Yeah, you and Osamu should fight less and be a role model on your juniors now that you guys are seniors” Aran stated while the two just looked each other for a while then Atsumu let out a ‘tch’.

“Anyways, Atsumu, I believe you’ll be a great captain of this team. You guys should train well but at the same time take care of your health. Don’t depend on Y/n too much.” Kita said as he looks on each one of you. The team listens to their former captain attentively as they know this would be the last time, they would here these reminders from him.

“Atsumu and Osamu, don’t argue too much, don’t provoke each other” he reminded as he looked at the twins sternly.

“Don’t worry, Kita-san, if they ever started fighting, Y/n would be there to stop them” Suna said with a teasing tone on his voice as he smirks at you.

“Why me? I’m your manager not a referee!” you rebutted as you place your hands in the middle of your chest while Suna chuckled.

“You, Suna, stop provoking the twins to fight too and if they fight help y/n with stopping them” Kita scolded Suna making Atsumu smirk at the middle blocker. You and the other laughed at Suna’s reaction and on your thoughts, you are already teasing the boy when he got scolded by Kita.

“Anyways, we need to go now the ceremony will start any minutes now” Akagi said making your smile disappeared and this didn’t go unnoticed by Aran.

“C’mon, Y/n don’t be sad! Hear I have joke” Aran comforted you while the other boys quietly groaned when they he said he has a joke. You just nodded as a sign to continue what his joke is.

“here, why did a girl volleyball player lose his waitressing job?” he asked you, a smile was slowly growing on his face as he think of the joke.

“why?” you asked with a smile also growing on your face while the rest of the team just listened to his corny joke.

“because someone told her to serve the food” he answered as he let out a laugh on his own joke while you just chuckled and the rest of the teams looks at him with disbelief but they also had a smile on his funny.

“see you are smiling again” he stated when he saw you smile at his jokes.

“I know this day is quite sad but let’s look at the bright side! We could still visit you guys anyways” Aran said to you and you just nodded at him as an agreement.

“Well, we will get going now! See you when we could see you” Akagi bid a farewell and smiled at them. The other third years also bid their goodbyes before exiting the gym while you guys wave at them and told them to take care.

Another chapter has come to an end but this is also another chapter that they would be all facing together.

[ipuckwithhockey]

I’d Rather Rescue Myself - Travis Konecny

a/n: Did I write this based on the Cheetah Girls hit, Cinderella? bc I did. no I didn’t. I don’t think this will surprise anyone but this is kind of angsty and dramatic, but I think it’s cute in the end. Let me know what you think :)

Warnings: Single mom, cursing, drinking, angst, a little bit of anxiety, I think that’s it

——

When I was just a little girl, my momma used to tuck me into bed

She read me a story

It always was about a Princess in distress and how a guy would save her 

End up with the glory

Your mom was a hopeless romantic. She fell hard and fast for the men that came in and out of her life. She wasn’t running around being reckless or anything, she just loved being in love. She loved the honeymoon phase and she loved the idea of finding her prince charming.  

Your dad left when you were just a baby, but your mom didn’t harbor on the loss. That was another thing about your mom— she was an undying optimist. She said that her relationship with your father wasn’t meant to be, and that her real prince charming was somewhere out there waiting to find her.

You actually believed all the elaborate bedtime stories she told you for a while. You thought you too would find your prince charming who would sweep you off your feet and rescue you from the harsh realities of your average Philadelphia life.

Your mom did eventually find Steve, a real-estate broker, that made her very happy. You liked Steve. He was nice and had a good job, and really did care for your mom. They’ve been married almost two years now, and you’ve never seen your mom happier. Maybe she was right, her prince charming was waiting out there for her, except he wasn’t in a castle or riding a horse into the sunset, he was just trying to decide which slice and bake cookies he should get for his open house. That’s how they met. In the freezer section of the grocery. Your mom helped him decide on one pack of sugar and one pack of chocolate chip, they exchanged numbers, and the rest is history.

Then one day I realized the fairy tale life wasn't for me

I don't wanna be like Cinderella

Sittin' in a dark old dusty cellar

Waiting for somebody, to come and set me free

You really tried to be optimistic. You would put yourself out there, go on dates, and even had a couple serious relationships throughout college. There was just one problem— they never worked out. You were always left heartbroken. So your senior year of college you decided that you had had enough. 

You were done feeling sorry for yourself. You were smart and driven and didn’t need a man to rescue you. You had a great internship that would hopefully turn into a job after graduation and you were the top of your class. You weren’t going to let another boy come in and distract you from your goals. So you swore off boys. It’s not that you didn’t want to find someone eventually, you just didn’t have the time or energy to bother with them now. This was time to focus on you.

That year you met Travis Konecny and his band of brothers from the Philadelphia Flyers. Your roommate, Katie, had hooked up with Joel Farabee a couple of times but they ultimately decided they were better off as just fiends. You and Travis became quick friends. You had a similar sense of humor and even though he was the worlds biggest, dumbest redneck, you had a soft spot for the kid. He was busy with hockey and didn’t have time for a relationship, and so he understood why you didn’t want one either. 

Soon started the movie nights and casual hang outs. You even started to teach him how to cook. You would admit that he was very handsome (when he showered and properly groomed himself), but you were just friends. It was never anything else. Neither of you wanted it to be anything else.

You both had had other hookups and occasionally a date, and you would laugh together over how bad they were afterward, saying “see, this is why i don’t need a relationship.”

That was almost two years ago. You did end up graduating at the top of your class, and the internship did turn into an amazing job. You worked hard and were hopefully in line for a big promotion at the end of the month.

You lived on your own now, but Katie just lived a block away. Shortly after her and Joel decided to remain friends she met Chris. He was a great guy and they recently moved in together.  You were really happy for Katie and all of your friends who had found great guys to settle down with. You were only 23 but it seemed like most of your friends had found their match, and you would be lying if you said it didn’t bother you.

It’s not that you wanted to get hitched and have a baby right this second, you were still very young, but the thought of having a caring boyfriend to come home to was something you just couldn’t get out of your head lately.

Someday, I'm gonna find someone who wants my soul, heart and mind

Who's not afraid to show that he loves me

Somebody who will understand I'm happy just the way I am

Don't need nobody taking care of me

Now you found yourself on Travis’ couch ranting about how all of your college friends were taking their boyfriends to Katie’s birthday party this weekend. Again, you were happy for them, you really were! But you didn’t want to be the only single one there. It was one thing to get a sad look from your mom when she asked you if you were seeing anyone, it was another thing to get sad looks from about a dozen of your friends. You knew they just wanted you to find someone who made you happy, but you hadn’t yet, and there wasn’t anything that could change that.

“I just wish I could find someone who wants me for me, you know? Someone who gets that my career is just as important as his, and who understands that when I say I don’t want anything to eat I actually do, I’m just too hard headed to admit it!” You were ranting on about the perfect guy, and all Travis could think was that he was that guy.

He would show up at your door out of the blue because he knew the “work’s been busy, just gonna go home and get some stuff done” reply to his hang out invitation actually meant “I’ve never been as stressed as I am right now, and haven’t eaten in 12 hours, and I could really use a hug.” He was always there for you, and you were always there for him. People didn’t always understand your relationship, and last year when Travis started dating a girl, she became so jealous of your friendship. Eventually, Travis ended it when she asked him to choose between her or you. There really wasn’t any contest. He would choose you every time. That was when he realized he had some serious feelings for you. Travis wasn’t good with feelings, and as much as he wanted to tell you he loved you, he didn’t want to mess with your friendship. It was too important to him, and up until recently you had been pretty dedicated to your no relationship lifestyle.

So instead of telling you how much he loved you and how he was the guy who valued your career and goals just as much as his own, he just offered to go with you to the party in question, “Well I’ll go with you. I like your friends, and then I’ll also get the sad looks because I too am single and lonely, so you won’t be alone.”

You laugh, Travis was right, you would probably have a good time if was there. You always have a good time when he’s around, and your friends like him too. They know you’re just friends but they never hesitate to give you a hard time about how you’ll end up together one day. You know he’s not into you like that, but that doesn’t stop you from wondering what it would be like to one day call him yours.

“Hello???? Is anyone home?” He’s waving his hands in front of you after you zoned out thinking about how great it would be to come home to him after a long day at work,

“Oh yeah, sorry, that would actually be great. You don’t have to, I know I’ve been annoying lately with all the work talk and complaining about relationshi-“

“Don’t worry about it. The party will be fun, we haven’t been out together in forever. And I know you’re stressed, even though you shouldn’t be. There’s no way you’re not getting that promotion. That doucheface, Jack is barely smart enough to do his current job, there’s no way they would give him the promotion over you.”

“His name is Jake, but yes he is a doucheface and even though I may be more qualified, he has been at the company longer than me so there’s a good chance he’ll get it just based on that.”

“You worry too much. You’re gonna get it, and we’re all gonna celebrate when you do.”

I can slay, my own dragon

I can dream, my own dreams

My knight in shining armor is me

So now it was Friday night, and you found yourself next to Travis in a crowded bar that Katie had picked for her birthday celebration. You had had the longest week known to man, and all you really wanted to do was sleep. But alas, you were here and trying to have a good time.

Travis had been great the whole night, socializing with your friends, make his stupid jokes, and getting you drinks. You really did appreciate him coming, but something just felt off. He has always been a touchy guy but it seemed like he had his arm around you more than usual tonight, and when he talked to your friends he would say “we” when referring to the two of you. It felt too domestic, and if felt too claustrophobic.

Even his praises when the group asked about your work annoyed you. You didn’t know if you were just on edge from work or if Travis’ overstepping was really getting to you.

You needed a minute to yourself so excused yourself to get another drink.

“Sit down, I got it,” Travis stands to get you another drink, and that’s when you start to lose it. In the back of your mind you know he’s just being nice, but you’re already seeing red and nothing can stop you now.

“I am perfectly capable of getting my own drink, and I really don’t need a man to babysit me all night, so you can sit down, and I’ll get it for myself.”

You turn and head for the door of the bar, not caring that your friends, and Travis, are all staring at you completely taken aback by what just came flying out of your mouth.  You make it outside, needing a minute in the cold winter air, before Travis catches up to you.

“What the hell is going on? Did I do something?”

“Travis. I really appreciate you trying to ‘take care of me’ of whatever it is you’re trying to do, but I can take care of myself. I’ve been doing it a long time, there’s no reason why I can’t continue to do so.”

You’re being mean now. You know it, but it’s not stopping you. You can’t help but push him away because it feels easier to just deny the feelings you know you have. The hurt in Travis’ eyes almost makes you take it all back, but you know that if you push him enough he’ll be just as stubborn and mad as you, and then you can fight it out instead of actually talking about what’s going on. So you continue, knowing that what you’re going to say will just piss him off,

“You’re not my boyfriend, and I didn’t ask you to act like it. If you want a girl to parade around in front of people, go find someone else, because I’m not your girl. You just need to back off, ok?”

“I’m not trying to control you, or ‘parade you around’ I have no clue why you think I’d even want that,” He puts up big air quotes when he throws your words back at you,

“I just know how stressed you are and how you don’t ever see your friends because your whole life is your fucking job. I just wanted to make this night fun and relaxing for you. And I’m sorry if I’m proud of you for being so successful, but did it ever occur to you that maybe I am the guy?  The guy who wants you for you. The guy who respects your career just as much as his own. The guy who knows that even though you’re standing here pissed as hell, it’s only because you  know you have feelings for me too?”

He’s practically yelling and a couple people have definitely taken notice. And maybe he’s right, but your hard head and stubbornness would never let you admit it, so you just decide to walk away.

You leave him standing there outside of a bar that still holds all of your closest friends, and you know that you may have just thrown away your prince charming, but you can’t go back. It would be too much, so you walk home and cry yourself to sleep that night.

I will be there for him just as strong as he, will be there for me

When I give myself then it has got to be, an equal thing

I don't wanna be like Cinderella

Sittin' in a dark old dusty cellar

Waiting for somebody, to come and set me free

You got the promotion. You got it and the only person you wanted to tell was Travis. It’s been weeks since that night you left him outside the bar. He texted and called a few times, eventually he stopped. You thought he might show up at your place but he never did. You tried to be mad at him. You tried to blame him for your friendship falling apart. You also knew that he was right. About everything.

You thought back to all the times you had been there for each other. You thought back to all of the long talks on the phone while he was away for the summers, every time he hyped you up before a big presentation at work, and all the times you waited at his door after what you knew had been a tough game.

You always had each others backs. You didn’t have to ask for it, you just knew that when you fell, the other one would be there to pick you up. You didn’t have to guess. You always knew what he was feeling and you knew how to fix it. He was the same way with you. And yet, you still couldn’t bring yourself to just pick up the phone and call. Maybe it was because you knew he would be on the other end waiting to take you back in the blink of an eye. You knew he’d forgive you for everything and you knew he would love you forever, but you were still scared to admit that maybe you did need him. You felt like it would be an admission of failure that you couldn’t do this on your own.

You didn’t need him to take care of you or to slay a dragon to save you, you just needed HIM.  You needed his companionship, his love, and his affection, all of the things that he was so willing to give you, but that you still couldn’t accept.

I don't wanna be like Snow White 

waiting for a handsome prince 

to come and save me on a horse of white

Unless we're riding side by side

It’s been over a month now, and you haven’t so much as spoken a word to Travis. You had filled Katie in the day after her party, apologizing for leaving without saying goodbye. She tried to comfort you, but you didn’t want to talk about it. You were going to be fine without him. He was just a friend after all. But now Katie was getting fed up. She was tired of watching you mope around town acting like everything was fine, when she knew damn well that you were just too stubborn to admit that you loved Travis too.

“Ok. You seriously need to suck it up buttercup.” Katie came full force through the threshold of your apartment with two bottles of wine and a bag of take out. You were all for a girls night, but you were right when you had concerns of it turning into a “lets talk about your feelings night.”

“You’re losing it. Like I love you, but as your friend I can no longer support this moping around.”

“I have told you over and over again, that I am fine. I got my promotion and I’m doing great at work!” You try to convince her that you’re doing ok, and that you don’t read every shitty article written about the flyers as an attempt to satisfy your Travis craves.

“If you’re oh so fine, then why do you still watch every flyers game? Why are you drinking his favorite wine all the time? And why the fuck are you wearing his clothes???”

You didn’t even remember that you had put on an old hoodie of his this morning until just now. He used to let you borrow the old 67’s hoodie when you were at his place, eventually you just took it home with you, and it’s been your favorite ever since. You wore it now more than ever, but would never admit it was because you missed him.

“It’s just comfortable ok?” But you knew she wasn’t buying it, you knew you were going to have to talk about it at some point.

“...I just feel like if I admit that I need him, it would be like admitting that I can’t take care of myself, that I can’t do this on my own.”

“Babe, it’s not about needing someone to take care of you, it’s just about loving someone and letting them love you back. Travis of all people knows that you are perfectly capable of fending for yourself. I think that’s probably something he loves about you. He knows you. And I know for a fact that he’s waiting for you.”

“And how do you know that?”

“Because he calls me…”

“Wh-what?” Why would Travis bother to call Katie?

“Because he’s worried about you, but he knows that if he suffocates you, you’ll just keep pushing him away. He’s called me regularly for a few weeks now. He just wants to know how you are... But he didn’t want me to tell you because he didn’t want you to feel like he was going behind your back. He loves you. And he’s just waiting for you to come back to him. He’s an idiot, but somehow he’s managed to figure you out.”

He loves you. Travis loves you.

You love him.

You love each other.

He never wanted to take anything from you. 

He just wanted your love.

He wanted to give you his love.

It’s like you’re discovering words for the first time, and you know you that you can’t just let this go. You know that you don’t want to keep living your life if you’re not sharing it with him, side by side.

You look over at Katie who knows you’re finally coming to terms with all of this,

“I think I have to go”

“Go get him babe!”

You order an uber and grab your shoes before heading out the door.  The ride to Travis’ has never felt longer. You start to question yourself but it’s too late, you know what you have to do. You walk into his building and make your way up to his floor on the elevator. You pace back and forth for a while outside of his apartment, but you tell yourself it’s now or never, and knock on the door. It’s not even 20 seconds later that he’s opening the door,

“Hey, I knew you’d come back.”

For some reason you thought he might still be mad, and he might just slam the door in your face or yell at you, but he’s not. He’s smiling and is reaching out to pull you into his apartment and into a hug. You let him and it’s like you’ve never felt more relief. The weight of the past month is instantly lifted. You feel like you can breathe again. And then the tears start to fall.

“Hey, don’t cry. It’s ok.” He’s consoling you and you’ve never felt worse. He was always right there and you just about threw it all away because you were too stubborn. You both muster out some sorry’s and you’re not even sure how long you’ve been standing there in each others arms. You’re perfectly content just staying there, but eventually he pulls back to look at you.

He wipes away at your tear stained face and looks you right in the eyes,

“I love you. And I never ever want to make you feel like you’re anything less than the amazing, strong, smart, beautiful, independent woman that you are... I just want you to let me love you.”

“Okay... but only on one condition…”

Travis just looks questionably back at you,

“That you let me love you back”

Travis doesn’t even bother with words, because he knows the only thing left to do is kiss you. So he leans into you, and you lean into him, and it’s like everything in the world is right again. Riding into the sunset may have been a fairytale, but true loves kiss was definitely a reality. You were right too, you didn’t need a prince to save you, you needed to save yourself. It just turned out that saving yourself was letting the man of your dreams love you back.

[ficforce]

Running Scared Part 1

Sagamiya Konro x Reader

SFW

No set timeline

Mutual Pining

Humming quietly to herself Y/N put the fresh batch of steamed mochi onto a tray and placed into the display cabinet on the counter, then she made sure that the pans were ready for making dorayaki before bringing the water to boil for the dango. She smiled as she saw everything she had made, it was far more than usual but it was a festival day and she wanted to close up before things got busy in the evening. Two very distinct giggles caught her attention and Y/N headed to the counter at the side of her kitchen, it took a moment to unlatch the locks and push open the hatch door - her home doubled as her sweet shop. “Good Morning Hikage, Hinata.”

“Y/N! That’s a lot of food!” Hinata tiptoed to scan the counter whilst her sister pressed her hands on the glass of the cabinet, “Did you make candy apples?”

“I did,” She smiled and handed the girls a box each so that they could pick what they wanted, “They’re not set yet so they’ll be a little gooey.”

“I don’t like when they’re slimy,” Hikage pouted but didn’t complain more than that, “Add it to the bill and Konro will pay, he can carry it til they’re hard.”

Y/N’s eyes widened a little at the mention of the Lieutenant and she glanced up and down the street until she saw him chatting with one of the other vendors. It was hard to miss him; Konro had always been taller than most and broad, he had a presence that was hard to ignore. She watched him rub the side of his bandaged neck and then he smiled at the other person - how did he always look so handsome?

Y/N jumped a little when the twins called for her attention, they wanted some of the items from the cabinet and she quickly got their order ready. The oven gave a ‘ping’ and she grabbed the cheesecake she had been baking, “Do you girls want me to add some cake too?”

Hikage nodded, her mouth was full as she chewed on a pink coloured mochi, Hinata’s cheeks were puffed out and she ate her own treat. The woman liked to think her little business was popular, it was rare someone complained about her cooking and recently she had started baking savoury treats again, leaning on the counter she smiled at the two whilst they chattered away to her. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Konro approaching and her heart squeezed inside her chest, she stood back up straight and took a breath to calm her nerves.

The man towered over the two, he reached out to thumb off a bit of sugary powder on Hinata’s cheek then smiled in Y/N’s direction, “Good Morning - you’ve made a lot for so early.” He had to guess that she had probably been up since before the sun to cook so much, “You trying to close early for the festi-”

“Konro, you’re paying, got it!” Hikage interrupted and pulled at his pant leg, “We’re gonna go see the old biddy!” With that, the two ran off down the street without even a glance backwards.

“They’re so mouthy… Even when I was planning to treat them already.” He was certain Benimaru was teaching them these bad habits and figured he’d need to mother the Captain into teaching them better manners. Benimaru would deny it was his fault regardless of the evidence.

Y/N kept herself busy with cutting the cheesecake into portions for sale, very carefully avoiding looking at him as she wondered how such a tall, intimidating man could be so soft with children, the twins weren’t even a little bit nervous of him. Konro didn’t miss the way she seemed to try and ignore he was there and tried not to let it get to him - Y/N always seemed too jittery in his presence. Did he frighten her or had he insulted her in the past? They had been friends once…

He knew she could be shy, it was one of the reasons they had crossed paths in the first place, people would target her shop way back in the day. Konro paid her what was owed and picked up the boxes for the twins; just as he made to leave she slipped an envelope on top of them, “Y/N, What’s this?”

“It’s… well, I just…” She caught his gaze by mistake and tensed up, “When the roof got damaged… y-your guys fixed it. So they’re tokens for- well, you know.”

She was uncomfortable even looking at him and he had to admit that hurt a little, “We appreciate it, Y/N.” Konro stood for a moment longer before turning to follow after the girls. As he walked he went through his memory as far back as he could with Y/N - they used to get along just fine and at one time he thought they might become a couple. He used to visit her almost every lunchtime with Benimaru up until the Fires two years ago. She had always had a soft spot for Benimaru and never got upset when he complained that everything she made was too sweet, instead, she made savoury treats just for him and told him he needed to eat more to get bigger; not that Benimaru had ever been scrawny… just short.

Everything had changed overnight.

He had heard that after the Fires she had made food for anyone who needed it, bringing it to the builders, the people unable to cook and to everyone staying at the Guardhouse. Glancing back at her home he realised that all of the houses opposite were built over the hole his Akatsuki had bored into the ground. She had had to look at it every day until it was filled - no wonder she was afraid of him.

“Konro! Hurry up or we’ll go without you!” He shook his head as the girls yelled for him and he put Y/N to the back of his thoughts but not out of them.

x - -

Sales were so busy that Y/N had to make several orders even after she had closed the shop, a little earlier than usual so that she could cook. Once the last box of treats had been collected she locked the hatch and hung up her apron; she looked at the extra food she had made and bit her bottom lip anxiously. Most of the day Y/N had hoped that a Hikeshi might pass by so she could have them deliver it to the Guardhouse, some of them would have to stay on duty whilst everyone else celebrated at the festival, she thought it would be nice to give them some of the treats they would miss out on.

Looking outside at the dimming sky she also noticed more people coming out, the women looked so pretty in their new yukatas and the kanzashi in their hair were so beautiful; she couldn’t remember the last time she had celebrated or dressed up like that…

Y/N shook it from her head and grabbed the boxes, if she was fast she could get back before the crowds got too thick and then she would watch from the window.

By the time she reached the Guardhouse, the first few stars had started to appear in the sky and the lamps had been lit in the streets. “Hello?” The woman pushed past the noren and stopped at the genkan step so that she could try to peer further inside. There was plenty of movement, likely people getting ready for an evening of celebrating, “He- oh, Benimaru. I brought some food for the nightshift.”

“Sweets?” Benimaru took the boxes from her, glowering at them almost.

“Actually, the middle one has those salty snacks you used to like inside.”

His eyebrows drew together, “Used to?” After a second a memory seemed to come to him and he made an interested sound, “You haven’t made those in forever - I probably still like them, thanks, Y/N.” He set the boxes down so that he could hunt down the snack she had mentioned and took a bite, “Still like ‘em.”

The Captain then began to separate them into a separate section, “You know they’re to share, right?”

“Tch.” Ignoring her amused laugh at him stealing what he wanted Benimaru glanced her way, “I’m not sharing these. Are you going to the festival tonight?”

“…No,” she wanted to but at the same time, the whole idea scared her, “Maybe next time. I’m going to head back, please don’t eat all of it at once.” With that, she waved and left.

Barely a minute later Konro came out and watched the young man reorganise the boxes, “Y/N was here?” He recognised the boxes and looked toward the noren, “I guess she’s rushing home to get ready?” Maybe he would see her during the night? Adjusting the belt on the navy blue yukata he had put on, Konro glanced past the noren again like she might still be there and then his fingers skimmed the pouch tied to his belt unconsciously.

“She’s not going,” Benimaru said around a mouthful of food, “Crowds scare her.”

“Crowds?”

Benimaru looked at him blankly for a second, was Konro being stupid on purpose or was he getting old? “Yeah, remember when she had that panic atta- Wait, you weren’t there, scratch that.” It was one of those rare times that Konro was out of town that Benimaru had come across Y/N huddled in a corner crying into her knees on the ground. “Y/N barely ever leaves her house unless it’s unavoidable, Konro, it’s been like that since the fires.”

The Captain had been shocked when she told him through terrified sobs, he had had to pick her up to get her home because her legs were shaking so much and then he had spent almost an hour getting her to calm down. Benimaru had always seen her as a kind of older sister, she had always fussed over him as he grew up and even now she made him snacks he would like; it had been strange to take care of her for a change. He could see that Konro looked a little put out to be learning the information secondhand, “It’s pretty busy out there already…” Benimaru sighed, “You should go make sure she gets home safe.”

Konro smile was a little self-pitying as he sighed, “She’s scared of me, Waka, I make her uncomfortable…”

“Did I stutter, Konro?” The young man turned his mismatched gaze on the man, “Go after her.” It was all the encouragement the man needed to put on his sandals and rush out after Y/N. Benimaru clicked his tongue and shook his head, “Scared? And he says I’m an idiot.”

The Lieutenant wasn’t all that surprised with how many people were already out, groups of friends laughed and walked together as they headed for the stalls in the centre of Town, he searched the sea of colourful clothing and lanterns - using his height to his advantage - until he spotted the back of Y/N head and jogged to catch up with her. He weaved past a few groups and reached out to catch her wrist, “Y/N!”

Straight away Konro could tell something was wrong, she hadn’t been walking when he caught up to her and he could feel the tendons in her wrist sticking out with how tense she was, “Hey… Are you-?” All of a sudden the noise of people around them seemed to become muffled and everything outside of their little bubble slowed down as he saw her face. She was frozen in place and her eyes were wide and frightened, tears threatening to fall down her cheeks. Konro stood closer to Y/N to shield her from being bumped, “Please breathe, Y/N.” She kept holding her breath and then taking in small gasps of air, her whole body was trembling too and the Lieutenant guided her to the doorway of the nearest house, “It’s okay, I got you, Y/N…”

Y/N’s hands gripped the fabric at his chest, her breath still uneven as she pressed her face to his shoulder and tried to listen to his calming words, she tried to let the warm hand on her back rub soothe her but knowing it was Konro only made her feel worse. Somehow he got her to move, his hands on the base of her spine and her shoulder as he guided her through the people, using his larger body to shield her until she was back on her own doorstep. The bubble she had felt trapped in popped a little too rudely and the noise of the Town came back, the world rushing past, “D-Don’t go…” she could barely breathe and she wanted to feel safe again, contained and protected in Konro’s arms.

“I thought I scared you?” It was out of his mouth before he could stop it and Konro looked away from her, heat rushing to his face as he silently told himself to be quiet. Her hands wrapped around his hand and wrist, gently applying pressure to the bandaged limb and then she gave him a small tug. When Konro looked at her again she had the door open and was asking him to come inside with her.

He couldn’t have been more wrong.

Y/N had always felt safer with him around but over the last two years her anxiety about going outside had grown, “I’m so pathetic…” Asakusa had been her home her whole life, its people were colourful and kind, very loud and rowdy but they were like family; she had no reason to be frightened by the crowds, why couldn’t she just enjoy the festival like everyone else could?

What was wrong with her?

“You’re not pathetic,” his free hand lifted to catch her chin and make her look at him, “I’d never hurt you… I know what I did, the way I ripped the ground up, must make you think I’m some sort of dangerous lunatic but I did that to save my Town and it’s not like I can even call up a flame now.” They used to be such good friends, they used to talk all the time and he missed her so much; his heart ached that she couldn’t stand to look at him anymore. Was she reminded of the destruction he had caused when she looked at him? Or maybe it was that she thought he was weak now?

She squeezed his hand again and swallowed down the lump in her throat, “I-I’m not scared of you, Konro… I tried to avoid you so that I wouldn’t lose you.” Y/N saw the confusion on his expression from her statement and she took a deep breath, “Two years ago…”

Watching her struggle to form words and then watching her close her eyes as if defeated, Konro sighed and closed the door behind them, “What happened, Y/N? Don’t run away from me anymore.”

[andawaywego]

Your fics are my favorite! Could you write one where some guy hitting on Dani too aggressively and won’t leave so Jamie has to step in? Maybe punches him, Dani takes care of her hand after and has a lot of feelings

okay! so i also got a more recent prompt for someone asking for Jamie to defend Dani, so this is for both of you guys. i hope you like it!

(check it out in my prompt collection for a bonus ending written by my hilarious bud, Julia)

..

Growing up, the storybooks always made Dani think that heroes come in suits of armor. Broad-shouldered, tall, handsome strangers who wait for you at the bottom of the tower asking you to let down your hair, give them your heart, just let them save you and they’ll love you forever, promise. And there was something about that she never wanted—she’s never seen herself in that throne room or glass coffin or anywhere else where a princess might need saving.

Because, no. She doesn’t need any saving that she can’t provide for herself. And she knows that. Really, she does.

But then again, she’s never had anyone knock a guy on his ass for her. At least, not until—

_____________________

Rewind.

The last night of Owen’s visit, they go to a bar in Burlington for drinks. It’s not a place they frequent, no, but it’s nearby and always seems busy. Certainly that can’t mean it’s unliked.

And it is nice enough. Clean booths, even if the benches are cracked vinyl, nice enough waitresses, good lighting and, importantly, not too loud. It’s a Friday, so it is fairly packed and it’s late, too, what with them having decided to come last minute after letting Owen cook them one more meal (“You’ll have plenty of leftovers,” he’d said, “so you won’t have to do take-out for a bit”; always trying to take care of them, even when he lives on the other side of the ocean).

He and Jamie are trying to outdrink one another, though neither of them had said this aloud. Dani sits beside her girlfriend, arm around her waist, and watches them fondly as some of Jamie’s beer dribbles down her chin. Somehow, she manages to finish before Owen does, and then she’s slamming her glass back down on the table in front of her, liquid spilling into her lap and Dani laughs.

“Oh my god,” she says, reaching across the table for the napkin holder. “You’re a mess.” She grabs a handful of them and turns Jamie’s head her way, mopping her face up while Jamie smiles and laughs at her own ridiculousness.

Owen stops drinking with just a splash left and sets his own mug down, shaking his head as he makes himself swallow. “I refuse to look like that,” he says, gesturing to her beer-stained flannel. “You win.”

“You refuse to look like what? A winner?” Jamie counters, a triumphant gleam in her eye that makes Dani sort of feel like swooning, even though that’s silly.

“A wet winner,” Dani amends and Jamie must be buzzed because her smirk only gets wider and she wiggles her eyebrows at Dani. “Stop.” Dani pretends to push her away as Jamie darts in quickly to plant a kiss on her cheek. 

“God, stop being so bloody happy,” Owen complains, not an ounce of animosity in his voice or his expression. “You’re making me ill.”

“That’s probably because of the beer you just guzzled down,” Dani tells him and Jamie cackles.

“She’s got your number,” she says. She lifts her hand up then, burping into her fist and then apologizing and Dani rolls her eyes.

Sometimes, it’s a wonder that this is the same woman who could make her weak-kneed with just a look. More than anyone Dani has ever known in her life, Jamie contains multitudes.

“I’m gonna get you two some water,” Dani says, getting up. 

Jamie throws her a happy grin and Owen gives a sincere, “Thank you,” that Dani waves off. She’s only a foot away from the two of them resume their childish bickering. 

Slowly, Dani weaves her way through the other patrons and makes her way to the bar, keeping to herself as much as possible. It isn’t as if she’s been in many, but it seems strange, almost, how the atmosphere of the place can change with the types of people who choose to inhabit it. When they first arrived, the place seemed warm and friendly—lots of clean lines and light greys. A modern-looking chandelier strung above the main tables past the bar. An exposed brick wall beside the booths. Without too many people in it, the space had seemed almost bonhomous. Welcoming.

Now, as the evening grows later and people are getting more and more into their cups, it’s begun to lose some of what made it convivial. 

So she tightens up her posture, holds her shoulders and head higher, and finds an empty space beside the bar to wait while the bartender assists someone else. There’s a song playing from the jukebox in the corner, but she can’t make out any of the words or even tell what key the melody is in. All she can hear is the distant, seemingly random scatter of an asynchronous beat.

“What have I done to deserve this?”

It takes Dani a moment to realize that, despite the phrasing, the question is being asked in relation to her presence. There’s a man sitting on a stool beside where she’s standing and he’s looking at her with dark eyes that make her feel even more on display. He’s smartly dressed, like he’d come to the bar directly from his office, and his tie is loosened around his neck, the top buttons undone in a blatant show of after-hours leisure. 

There’s something to the way he’s looking at her—the parting of his chapped lips—that makes her feel trapped. Makes her heart speed up in her chest.

“Excuse me?” she asks. Wanting to ignore him. Knowing in her heart of hearts that he will likely only persist even if she does.

“What brings a girl like you to a place like this?” he asks, eyes dancing with slight intoxication. Leering at her. 

Dani taps her fingers against the bartop, a quiet prayer of, “Come on, come one, come on,” escaping her lips as she stares down the busy bartender. Wanting a rescue. Wanting a way out.

“Did you hear me?” the man asks, and there’s a quality to his voice now that makes her feel even more on edge than before. 

Dani decides that the best course of action is to simply play dumb. “Sorry?” she asks, turning his way again with a stiff smile. 

He smirks. “I asked what a girl like you is doing in a place like this.”

“Um…” She clears her throat. “Waiting for the bartender.”

“Why don’t you sit down and stay a while.” He gestures at the empty stool beside him. “Let me buy you the next one.”

Dani presses her lips together. Takes a deep breath. “Thank you, but I’m uh...here with people.”

His expression darkens even further somehow. “Boyfriend?” he asks.

Her immediate reaction is to deny it because no. There is no boyfriend. Just her beautiful, silly, and very, very far away girlfriend. But then she thinks of Owen, also with them. Not necessarily intimidating, no, but another man at least. 

She grits her teeth. “Yes, actually. Right over there.” She points to the booth where Owen and Jamie are still talking amongst themselves. The man follows her gaze and stares them down. As he does, Jamie perks up, frowning at the sight of him and catching Dani’s eyes.

If there were a way to send for an SOS, Dani would have done it already. Instead, she has to settle for hoping that, after three years together, Jamie might be able to simply read her mind.

“Him?” the man asks. He turns back around and fixes Dani with a hard look that makes her skin crawl. 

“Yes,” Dani says. “Him.”

“He looks a little busy with your friend, wouldn’t you say?” He leans a little closer, and Dani jumps when she feels his hand touch her waist, trying to pull her in. “Come on, baby. One drink.”

“No, thank you.” Dani pulls away from him, anger flushing up her neck and chest. “And don’t call me that.”

He grips her arm next, a little too tightly, and Dani’s certain her heart is going to pound directly out of her chest. “What?” he asks, showing his teeth in a way that is so, so different than a smile. “Baby?”

Dani wrenches herself out of his grasp and pulls away. “Yes,” she says, a note of slight hysteria tinting the word. “Now—”

“Somethin’ the matter, Poppins?” 

It’s as if her lungs can finally expand when Dani hears Jamie’s voice, feels her warm, gentle hand on her waist. Immediately, she leans into the touch and turns to meet the worried, heated gaze of her girlfriend. She opens her mouth to say something, to ask for Jamie to please, please get her out of here, but she’s cut off by an irritated, “Oh,” coming from the man on the stool.

When she turns, he’s looking between them knowingly, eyes tracing the way Dani has turned herself into Jamie’s touch. 

“I didn’t realize you were one of them,” he spits.

Something hot and panicked shoots through Dani’s chest at his words, like lightning, like a bullet. She feels rather than sees Jamie stiffen beside her, pull herself up to make herself seem taller.

“What’s that?” Jamie asks, teeth bared and feral, already pushing herself in front of Dani to stand between him and the man.

He scoffs, and rolls his eyes. “If I’d known, I wouldn’t have wasted my time on a d—” 

Thankfully, he doesn’t even have time to finish the thought. Instead, there’s a sickening, fleshy thump as Jamie’s fist collides with his cheekbone. 

Hard.

Caught off guard, the man falls off his stool and lands on the floor with an even louder noise. As he does, his arms flail out and knock his glass off the table, and it lands beside him, crashing as it breaks apart upon impact. 

Immediately, the entire bar goes quiet as everyone turns to stare at what’s just happened. Owen is standing by the booth, mouth agape and wide-eyed as he looks between a seething Jamie, fist still cocked, and the man on the floor clutching his face.

Dani is clutching Jamie’s other arm, pulling at her and trying to let her mind catch up with the quickly-unfolding events that have just taken place. 

“You bitch!” the man yells. He turns to look at the shell-shocked audience around him. “She hit me! You crazy bitch!”

“You’re lucky that’s all I did you fucking dickhead!” Jamie shouts back. “When a girl tells ya’ no thank you, keep your greasy fucking hands off her or I’ll—”

“Jamie,” Dani says softly, tugging at Jamie’s sleeve. “Come on. Let’s just—”

Jamie is wild-eyed when she turns to look at her, as unhinged as Dani’s ever seen her and she looks so angry and beautiful that it’s a wonder Dani keeps standing at all. “He fucking—” she begins, but Dani shakes her head.

“I know, I know.” She throws a look at Owen who is already making his way towards them. “We need to leave, okay? Please.”

It’s the final word, perhaps, that finally brings Jamie back into herself. Her expression softens and she lowers her fist, nodding and letting herself be pulled toward the exit before anyone wises up enough to call the police. As they go, whispered conversations start trickling through the crowd again, muffled shock cupped behind hands as the man begins to pull himself to his feet, deflated and looking very much like a child.

The front door squeaks loudly as they step out into the bitter, November air. It’s shockingly sobering, despite the fact that Dani hasn’t had a drop to drink all night. Her cheeks are flushed with the emotion of the last few minutes and she realizes that she’s trembling, even as she’s gripping Jamie’s wrist.

Fortunately, it seems to have the same effect on Jamie, who’s begun to calm herself down and breathe normally again. The normal sounds of the evening feel otherworldly now—the rush of cars and voices and regular life crashing down on each of them.

The door squeaks again and then Owen is there, coming towards them with a still-surprised gleam in his eye. But there’s something else there, too. Something that Dani thinks might be pride.

“What happened?” he asks, looking between them both.

“Bloody wanker grabbed Dani,” Jamie mutters and she’s inspecting her punching-fist now, eyebrows furrowed.

Owen’s eyebrows raise in even more surprise. “You okay, Dani?” he asks, turning his worry her way.

Dani nods. “I’m fine, I just—”

“Yep,” Jamie says. “It’s broken.”

“What?” Dani squeaks and Jamie looks up at her with a wry smile, clutching her hand to her chest.

“My knuckle. It’s broken.”

“Oh my god,” Dani breathes.

“It’s okay.”

“You broke your hand. How is that—”

“I’m fine. It’s not like I—”

“Jesus, Jamie, why did you have to—”

“What was I supposed to do, Dani?” Jamie asks. “Let him touch you like that when you were trying to get away from him? You looked so scared and he was just...I just...I’m sorry.”

Dani blinks. Tries not to cry. “You big, dumb hero,” she says softly and Jamie looks hurt for a moment until she realizes that Dani is smiling. “You broke your hand defending my honor.”

For a moment, she forgets that Owen is there at all. It’s just her and Jamie and Jamie’s battle wound, wrapped up in a bubble of their own design. Jamie smiles a little, clearly in pain as her adrenaline drains away.

“So out of character for me,” Jamie breathes, laughing a little. “I’m sorry that I—”

Dani cuts her off again, but differently now. Leaning in, she cups Jamie’s face and kisses her, hard and heart and i can’t believe you did that. Jamie lifts her good hand, resting it on Dani’s shoulder as she kisses her back. It lingers for a moment, just long enough for Dani to feel like the earth has stopped spinning beneath her feet. 

When she pulls away, Jamie breathes shakily against her lips, resting their foreheads together as they each try to settle down.

Owen clears his throat, bringing them back into the moment. “If you two are done, I really think we should get her to the hospital.”

Reality washes over Dani like an icy ocean wave. “Oh my god, Jamie, your hand.”

The last evening of Owen’s visit, they end the night in the emergency room; Owen buys them food from the vending machine, Jamie makes too many jokes about being temporarily handicapped (“Handicapped,” she says, smiling at herself. “Get it?”) and Dani holds her good hand, remembering all of those heroes she never wanted to be rescued by.

Jamie’s nothing like them. She isn’t a knight or a prince or anything like that. She’s the hard-headed, unbelievable, wonderful love of Dani’s life. And that’s better than any hero she could have ever wished for.

..

[celticrune]

Hey Celtic! For the oc ask meme, how about 2, 8, 15, 22 and 25 for Val, Tanwen, Keiji, Jay, Whisper and Raya? I know I said I'd only ask 4 of your characters but I couldn't choose which four so I guess we're going with 6 of them.

*elmorise.jpg* let's go boys

and just guessing but this one's probably going under a cut, so. expect a readmore if i remember to put one in

2: Their smile Val: Subtle and easy to miss. It's in their eyes more than their mouth, a crinkle and a warmth that comes with just a light quirk of their lips. If you see them smiling widely and openly and with socialite charm, they're lying to someone, be it you or themself.

Tanwen: Bright and wide and earnest. Her happiness and her enthusiasm and her cheer are right there at the surface and her smile shows it all at the drop of a hat.

Keiji: True smiles are rare for this boy. Smirks absolutely, grins always, but a real honest smile? Only for people he trusts, and even then only when he's half-asleep or drunk or otherwise unable to have his guard fully up.

Jay: You're more likely to get an eyeroll than a smile, but they do exist! Sometimes a true, soft smile that manages to light up even his usual scowl, sometimes a crooked grin when he just made a joke so deadpan no one can tell if it's a joke or not and he's enjoying the confusion. Secret: his beard hides his dimples

Whisper: She has an adorable smile, with dimples and all, just don't tell her that or you will get kicked in the shins. She also knows she has very cute dimples and she hates it, so she very stubbornly tries not to smile (but she's terrible at it).

Raya: ........She.... tries.........

8: What they like to eat Val: They have a soft spot for cookies, of most kinds. They have not yet found their favourite.

Tanwen: A good bread. Her dad always baked fresh bread for the family and she has not found anything that compares

Keiji: Junkfood, especially burgers. The junkier the better, and anyone who disagrees doesn't have any taste

Jay: Good hearty winter foods. Stews, thicc soups, some good slow-cooked dishes you can have on the stove for the better part of the day bubbling away

Whisper: Ramen. No, I will not elaborate.

Raya: Liquorice

15: How they react to a brainfreeze Val: :|

Tanwen: Blows on the food that cause it to cool it down in weird backwards instinct

Keiji: Dramatically complains

Jay: :/

Whisper: She's Fine she's Tough she's Cool she can Do This. totally still winces and pouts

Raya: Ever seen gifs of a cat getting brain freeze? Imagine that but a panther

22: What they're like on two hours of sleep Val: They have chugged six espressos and are on their way to a seventh. Remarkably functional, but Do Not Talk To Them.

Tanwen: Barely keeping her eyes open, nodding off whenever she sits down, she's the kinda fool who'd walk into a door cause she was too tired to pay attention. She doesn't do well on little sleep.

Keiji: Hopped up on redbull, talking a mile a minute, full of energy but all over the place. Amusing, but he's not getting anything done.

Jay: He doesn't tend to sleep too well, so he's pretty used to getting by on little sleep. He'll try to catch what catnaps he can, but in the meantime he's good at muscling down and getting on with his day. He'll be a grouch, but not much more than usual

Whisper: She tries. Oh how she tries. She is going to fall asleep in class and accidentally elbow the teacher when he wakes her up.

Raya: Somehow? Fine? There's definitely some magic going on here do not trust it

25: Why you enjoy them Val: Val embodies survival. Overcoming your past and your pain and piecing together a new identity for yourself, one you chose. They went through terrible things and they still struggle but they learned, they are learning, and they're getting better every day. They're happy, and they have worked so so hard to earn that happiness.

They're the part of me that wants to be better, and writing them is the feeling that one day I will get there, too. They're also the conviction that such struggles and issues don't make you any less worthy of love, or capable of it.

Tanwen: Tanwen is just so bright. Her DnD campaign finished this week, actually, but I've played her for about five years now and being in her headspace makes me so happy. It's warm and bright and optimistic, no matter how dark things seen. It's loving everything and everyone, and while that isn't always me and I wouldn't want it to be, it's such a positive and lovely headspace to spend time in

Keiji: he's my terrible horny bastard son what else do i need to say. (and he's the trials and tribulations of opening up emotionally, the mortifying ordeal of being known, and the catharsis of being met with only love and acceptance)

Jay: Jay is a rock. He's steady and sturdy and down to earth and chill, and while that also makes him hell to write because he's so unbothered, it's what makes it really nice and chill to be in his headspace. He unapologetically himself, spends his time just vibing, and I love him.

Also, as I have recently come to realise, he is my transmasc gender envy and and me exploring how masculinity might fit and feel

Whisper: She's an adorable awkward potato. She's full teen cringiness and I love her for it. You go be the hero honey, you go be cool and fall flat on your face, you're doing amazing and you deserve the world

Raya: my druid self-projection no, but also yes. Raya is the thunderstorm and the sunshower and she's force of a strong wind, and she's all that in fun to write magic. Her character is definitely not as developed as some of my regulars, and that makes her harder to actually write, but I love her relationship with nature and her powers

[saviorsbookcafe]

The Savior's Book Café in Another World: Chapter 1

INDEX || PREVIOUS || NEXT

Chapter 1: Forced to Another World

Translated by: sydney Proofread by: Necro

A glowing white sphere is floating in a pitch-black space.

It’s the size of the palm of my hand, almost as if the sun had shrunk into this sphere of light.

From the sphere, a low masculine voice is talking to me about various things, but I’m only listening to it absentmindedly, feeling far from reality.

Why am I here...? Is this a dream?

A dream where I’m in this place that makes no sense, where a sphere that also makes no sense is talking to me.

“Are you listening? Tsukina Mizumori, I want you to go to a world that’s different from the one you’ve been living in until now.”

This sphere, who keeps repeating itself and calling my name as if to confirm that that’s me, calls itself God.

This sort of thing has been popular lately, hasn’t it, I think in the back of my mind.

Transportation to or reincarnation in another world has been a popular concept in recent media.

Despite having been told by my friends I’m such a bookworm that ‘bookworm’ seems like a word made up just for you, I actually haven’t read much of this genre.

Maybe I’ve been wanting to read them, if I’m dreaming about it. Maybe I’ll go buy one when I wake up.

As I’m lost in my thoughts, the sphere in front of me begins talking to me again, its tone somewhat disapproving.

“Are you going to answer me?”

Dreams like this certainly don’t feel as realistic after turning thirty-three, or rather, this dream feels too childish to feel realistic.

For a moment, I thought maybe I’ve been stressed lately, but recently each day has been fulfilling in some way, so that can’t be it.

There hasn’t been much trouble at the job I’ve been working at for years, and I’m on good terms with my coworkers.

My relationships with my coworkers rarely change on a personal level, but we’ll talk at lunch, and occasionally we’ve gone out together after work to enjoy ourselves.

The bookworm that I am, I usually want to read immediately after work, so these relationships are perfect for me.

Today too, once work ended I went directly home and wanted to get right to reading, so I should have finished eating dinner and opened up my book.

And then suddenly I was here.

“Hey, this is important. Will you actually listen to me?”

“I am listening. Why do I have to go to some other world?”

As if in a good mood because I replied, the sphere starts spinning around me.

The light from the sphere isn’t that strong, but because everything else is pitch black, it felt painfully bright.

Come to think of it, even though it’s pitch black in here, for some reason I can see myself clearly.

“The selection is completely random. I’ve already sent several others to the world I’m about to send you to. You’ve been chosen, just like them. To become a Savior and save the world.”

“Oh, then if there are others it’s fine if I don’t go, right?”

“...huh?”

As if taken by surprise by my response, the cheerful sphere stops right in front of me.

The sphere floating in the air of course does not have any facial expression, but I know that it is surprised.

It stays still for a short while, then begins moving frantically around my face in disbelief.

“I’m talking about transporting you to another world, you know? That’s supposed to be popular in your world’s books! The other kids went happily!”

“Well even so, it’s fine if I don’t go. I don’t care if you want me to save the world or whatever, if there are already others going then they’ll do it for you.”

“No, no no no!”

It looks like the sphere had begun sweating as its perfectly round shape collapses a little, and it moves back and forth violently as if denying my words.

Whether this situation is a dream or reality, my answer is one and the same: No.

“Wh-why?”

“Why would I accept? I can’t even believe that the others went.”

“They were excited, so they didn’t fight it. You’re the first person to say no.”

“Excited? Oh, come to think of it, you said “the other kids,” didn’t you. Were the other people you sent young kids?”

“Yes, they were all in their teens.”

Then why are you sending someone in their thirties like me, it’d be fine if they were all younger.

“If I were in my teens like those kids, then I might have gone happily too. But as you’d expect, when you get to my age, you think a lot more.”

Just hearing the phrase transported to another world is a little thrilling.

The self-proclaimed god in front of me casually explained it earlier, but it sounds like this other world is like the world of an RPG.

Me, playing a major role in a world of swords and magic, meeting new people and going on adventures in a world overflowing with things I’ve never seen before.

But once I think about it, I realize that it’s certainly not all going to be so charming.

“You said it’s a world with fighting, right?”

“Yeah, that’s why I’ll grant your wish before sending you there. When this world’s humans travel there, they obtain tremendous amounts of magic. With that power, even just by learning one type of Great Magic that only Saviors can wield, you can bend the world to your will. That’s why the humans of that world call you ‘Saviors.’ So I’ll grant you anything aside from magic powers. Well, if you say you want even more advanced magic than that, I can do that. The other kids asked for strong weapons or improved physical abilities. Oh, and there was one girl who asked to change her appearance.”

“I’m not good with pain, or rather I avoid situations where I might get hurt. And I’m the type of person to feel guilty even over something like killing a bug, so no matter how many weapons or physical abilities I get, I won’t be able to kill any monsters or anything.”

I take the sphere’s sudden silence as a chance to keep talking, and open my mouth again.

“You know, when you get to my age, you’ve already built a life for yourself. Yes, it’s not like I love my work, or that I love the world I’m living in. But my life here is stable. I make a living, and have friends to keep me company. A new world certainly sounds thrilling, but that would mean completely starting over in a new environment. It sounds like it’ll be completely different from the world I’ve been living in so far, so I’ll have to throw away all of the knowledge and culture I’ve learned and start over, right? Meeting new people sounds nice, but I’d be starting over in a place where no one knows me. It’s a little late to give up my house, my work, and all my friends around me to restart my life.”

Just thinking about it, there are too many cons.

It’s already a pain just to transfer jobs or move houses, but switching worlds would be even worse.

“Even so, I need you to go. It’s basically mandatory, or rather it is mandatory,” the sphere begins in a quiet voice, a complete change from it’s loud voice until now.

Some part of its voice is forceful, and I know I am losing ground.

“Absolutely?”

“Absolutely.”

“I already told you, I can’t fight at all!”

“That world’s balance is maintained just by sending humans from this world. It’s a world where, even if you don’t save the world, just being there as a Savior with lots of magic will keep the world stable, and bountiful resources will be born. Since the others I’ve already sent will fight and learn Great Magic, I personally don’t mind if you just live there quietly.”

“......”

Now I really have nothing to argue.

At this point, there’s no sign that I’ll wake up, and I’m starting to sense that this isn’t a dream.

The only thing that can pull me out of this incomprehensible space is the self-proclaimed god in front of me.

And at this rate, it doesn’t seem to have any intention of returning me to my original world.

But if this is reality, then if I mess up here, that might cause problems for me later.

After giving me a moment to wonder what to do about it, the sphere spoke up apologetically.

“I’m sorry, but I have no choice but to send you to the other world. In exchange, I promise that I’ll grant any of your wishes. Don’t you have one? A dream you had in your old world, for example. If it’s something that can come true even in a different world, then I’ll do everything I can to make it happen.”

“A dream...?”

I’ve been earning my living on my own, with no desire to get married, and I’ve never even thought about having kids.

My time to myself is so valuable that you could say I’ve never felt it necessary to spare any for others.

Going out with my close friends sometimes was enough engagement with others for me.

So for my life plans, I thought I would stay single and work until I retire, and then maybe I’d open a small shop.

A small book café with my favorite things -- cooking and reading.

A store with my favorite books from around the world, surrounded by quiet antiques.

I wouldn’t even need to profit, I just want a relaxed shop where a few regulars come to read, and even if people are there, I can read with them.

Though it’ll be in another world, is this sphere saying I can make that dream come true right now?

I’ve already made a plan, and I’ve been saving, but I thought that was just a crazy dream that would never come true.

Now that I think about it, aren’t all of my savings from these years meaningless now?

That makes me a little angry.

In either case, if I have to go.

There’s no reason for anyone to complain if I take as much from this god as he took from my life’s plans.

There shouldn’t be anything wrong with taking as much as I can as compensation for suddenly being tossed into a new world.

If I don’t, I’ll be out in the cold in a world I don’t know anything about, a dangerous world with monsters living in it.

“It’s really okay for me to just live a quiet life, right?”

“Yes, that’s fine.”

“You said you’d do anything, but can I wish for as many things as I want?”

“Yes, but...well, everyone until now only wished for one thing each.”

“Huh? You didn’t tell them they could ask for multiple things?”

“Why? They thought one was enough, and so they just wished for one thing and went, right?”

“No, I think it was just a simple misunderstanding.”

This is bad. This sphere seems like a good person, but that might not actually be the case.

No, the moment it showed up with this story, it proved it isn’t a good person.

This is so complicated that it’s best to just try wishing for something.

I try to remember what this God said about that world.

“Um...there’s monsters, a demon king, and several countries. If there are warring countries, then there are allied countries. Is the currency, language, and fundamental knowledge the same no matter which country I’m in?”

“Yes.”

“How do people know about our, or the Saviors’ existence?”

“Hm, most countries want Saviors. I mentioned it before, but when humans from this world travel to that world, they obtain tremendous, no, you could even say phenomenal amounts of magic. They’re something every country is desperate to get their hands on.”

“So if, for example, I didn’t tell anyone, would people know I was a Savior?”

“Upon arriving there, the Savior’s Mark will appear on your body. If that’s seen, people will probably figure it out.”

“Mark? You don’t mean like a tattoo, right? I want to avoid pain or any flashy symbols.”

“It won’t hurt, and it’s nothing flashy. It’s more like a design that will appear on you.”

“Then can I choose where that mark appears?”

“That is possible.”

“Then, somewhere it won’t stand out...can I put it under my hair or something? Like, on the back of my head under my hair, so even if I put my hair up it won’t be seen.”

I lifted up my hair and pointed to a place on the back of my head.

My hair goes just past my shoulders, and I’ve never dyed it before, but it’d probably be perfect if my hair was black to hide that Savior’s Mark.

“Understood. But that’ll only work for normal magic, if you use Great Magic, it’ll glow and stand out.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, and I’ll make sure never to use it in front of people.”

For now, it looks like I’ve gotten the fundamental culture of that world and how to hide that I’m a Savior.

No matter how much it’s asked of me, the fact that I can’t fight won’t change.

Even if I have the strongest magic, I’ll always lose to an enemy.

Having lived for three decades and then some, I know myself well. 

I can’t fight like the protagonist of a story.

If I could, I’d like to live quietly, so I want to hide the fact that I’m a Savior.

Now, I have to figure out what country in that world I’m going to.

If I end up in a strange country, then far from running a café, I could get caught up in war turmoil, or threatened by monsters.

If there’s a peaceful country that can protect itself, that would be best.

“As of right now, is there a country that’s very peaceful and has a solid defense?”

“Yeah, it’s big but there is one. The royal family aren’t strict about their status, and are advocates for peace. And their knights are very skilled, so the country is rarely damaged even by violent monster attacks.”

“I want a small café I can live in within that country’s territory, somewhere sort of secluded from any towns. Like in a forest that doesn’t stand out too much.”

“There’s a thick forest somewhat away from the towns, so I’ll put it there. Briefly imagine your ideal café in your head. I’ll make one based on that. But since the forest is dense, I don’t think you’ll get many customers.”

“It’s not like I really want to work that much. I just want to be able to enjoy my cooking and reading.”

As I said that, I realized that this lifestyle isn’t guaranteed to work.

It’s not complete, I still need to do something about living expenses and all.

That is to say, even if I got my café moved to the center of the city, if customers didn’t come in, the café would go out of business.

And I want an environment where I can collect and read all kinds of books.

“I’ll want to be able to get books from all around the world, ingredients and other daily necessities every so often, so is there anything you can do about that? Oh, and money.”

“You have a lot of requests...well, alright. How about this?”

As soon as God said that, a sparkling antique-style locket appeared in front of me.

The pendant is entirely silver, a flower design atop a diamond-shaped locket, threaded onto a thin chain.

In the center of the flower sits a small, translucent blue stone.

As I reach out to the gently floating pendant, it drops into my hand.

It’s lighter than I expect, and simple but a nice design that I like.

The metal of the pendant, the perfect size to fit in my hand, is cool against my skin.

I open up the locket, but there’s nothing inside.

I look over at the sphere, not knowing what to do with this pendant.

“When you squeeze that, a search screen like on a computer will appear in your mind. You can type letters just by thinking of them, so you’ll be able to summon things using that search bar. Because it’s god-made, it won’t break, and to anyone but you it’ll be a normal necklace. Money included, you’ll be able to summon most anything.”

This is a pretty useful necklace, even if I end up in an unsettling place, worst comes to worst I can just hide away in the café.

From now on, this pendant is my lifeline.

I squeeze it tightly in my hand.

As long as I have this, I’ll be okay, but what if I lose it, or if it’s stolen?

“Is there any option for having it automatically return to me if I lose it, or it’s stolen, and ensuring that no one doubts the things I summon with it?”

“...I’ll add them.”

It feels like the sphere floating in front of me is getting a little tired from my thoroughness, but this isn’t any time to hold back.

This is a matter of life or death.

It’s clear that if I don’t confirm everything I can think of, then whatever happens next will be bad.

“There aren’t any family registries there, right? Even if it’s not on paper, I want to have a story for where I came from.”

“Then, let’s say your village burned down during the war, and you were the only survivor. The war orphans there get a fixed status, so you won’t be discriminated against.”

“You said the languages are the same as my world until now, but does each country have its own language, like English and Japanese? If so, then I want to be able to read and understand all of them.”

“You can already understand the languages, so you can speak them, but anything else I’ll make sure you can automatically understand.”

Since I can get anything I can think to ask for, that in itself actually makes me uneasy.

But even if this seems greedy, I have to take what I can get and ask what I need to know.

Despite living in a world that only knows peace until now, I’m being suddenly taken into a world with fighting every day.

I don’t plan to hold back here only to die in another world.

“You said that I’ll have lots of magic, right? What kind of people can use magic?”

“Hoh....”

The sphere that had been quickly answering all my questions until now let out an interested sound, and began moving around me.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, I was just thinking that out of all the people I’ve sent to that world, I’ve never gotten that question before. I will give anyone what they request, and answer anything they ask. But I don’t give things people haven’t requested, or provide detailed answers to questions that haven’t been asked.”

“In other words, none of the people you’ve sent know anything about magic?”

“That would be the case. As for your question, you Saviors have magic, but don’t know any spells. To put it in the words of your world so it’s easier to understand, you have unlimited magic points, and you have magic commands. But you haven’t learned a single spell.”

“In that case, how do you learn magic?”

“You have to be taught by the people living there, or teach yourself with books.”

“Great Magic too?”

“You’d have to find fairly old books and learn from them. The theory of it is difficult, so you probably won’t be able to use it just from reading about it. Even if you are a Savior, you’d need a considerable amount of studying. And I said this before, but to me, the Great Magic that only Saviors can learn is like a bonus. The humans there seem to want you to become the kind of Savior who develops or protects the country and brings peace to the world, but if I had to say, I think of you all as the type of Savior who balances the world just by being there.”

Then there’s no need to learn Great Magic, I thought, but then I wondered what would happen if a Savior who’s learned Great Magic is in a country that attacks the country I go to, and got a bad feeling.

“By the way, will I be able to use some amount of magic just by reading the magic textbooks over there?”

“Hmm.... Each Savior’s magic sense differs, so it’s hard to say for certain. But for general spells, if you practice a few times then you should be able to get them. The more you use them, the more powerful your spells will become, and the more the amount of magic you have will increase.”

“You said that you’ll give anyone the things they request, right? Then if I say I want to be able to use Great Magic from the start, what would happen?”

“Of course, I would give it to you. You will also gain more magic to match those spells.”

It really feels that the one who asks is the one who wins.

Receiving these spells without any practice seems like something I’d be criticized for, but when it comes down to that or my life, my life is obviously more important.

By making sure I have Great Magic here, I should have more magic than the other Saviors, and I can enjoy the benefit of having that Great Magic.

“What kind of things does Great Magic include?”

“There is no good way to explain it aside from saying that there are various types.... There are types like offensive magic with the strongest offensive power, defensive magic that can put up the strongest barriers, or recovery magic that can heal any wound or ailment.”

“Offensive magic and defensive magic can exist at the same time? Doesn’t that mean one of them isn’t the strongest...?”

“That’s where it’s up to the user’s magic and sense, and how much experience they have.”

“I see.”

I bring my hand to my mouth and think for a moment.

Absolutely not offensive magic, since I won’t be able to use it fully, and I wouldn’t be able to attack someone in time.

Recovery magic sounds good, but the chances of me dying before I get to use it seem high.

“Can I learn multiple types of Great Magic?”

“That’s hard for any Savior to do. Just using one spell will have you bedridden for days from magic deficiency. It’s a fine thing that’ll make your head explode the moment you learn a second type.”

“Then please make me able to use defensive Great Magic from the start.”

Magic I can use to protect myself in an instant, this feels like the best thing to raise my chances of survival.

Even if I’m attacked, if I can dodge the first attack and gain some distance, then I can use that defensive magic to escape.

Although if I die from the first attack, or can’t gain any distance and panic, it won’t help me.

If I’m able to learn other types of magic from textbooks, then I want to try learning it myself.

“By the way, do you personally think that I’ll be able to use ordinary magic without a problem?”

“Yeah, I think you’ll be able to use it just fine.”

“I see. Then...what will happen to my existence in my world up until now?”

“You’ll have died when you were young. There’s no better way to explain it, but as for your environment, there won’t be anything unnatural.”

“...yeah.”

Well, that’s alright. If I went missing, then my coworkers and friends would be worried.

In that case, it’s better that they’d never met me in the first place.

“If your mind or situation changes and I can go back to where I came from, then you’d put everything back to how it was, right?”

“I don’t think that day will come, but, well, if it does, then I promise.”

As I looked at the sphere, my mind turned, thinking, is there anything else, is there really nothing else?

That is to say, I can’t say that my head was calm at this point.

I can see that I’ll be thinking, I should have asked for this too.

"When I go there, will I be able to contact you?”

“Normally this would be the end. At most, I might go check up on you occasionally.”

“Then, can you make it so I can contact you? And so you’ll grant my wishes at that time?”

“Alright. But this time you only get three. You can’t wish for more, and I’ll only answer your call and grant your wishes three times.”

“Thank you very much.”

“However, I will not get involved with the life or death of humans. I cannot bring any human back to life nor take the life of any human.”

“Understood. Oh, there’s one more thing....”

“There’s more?!”

It feels like there is fatigue and grief in God’s voice, but I ask for everything I can think of without holding back.

Ultimately, God’s form crumpled twice more, and its previously perfectly round form had now turned into a sort of bean-like shape.

Its light had dimmed, and it feels like it’s flickering a little bit.

Despite being sent by this terribly depressed God, I don’t have any regrets.

If I need anything else, I’ll call this God without any hesitation.

And thus begins my life in an alternate world, filled with extremely real dreams.

With no exhilarating adventures, no fighting, where I’ll do all I can to avoid interacting with the outside world -- that kind of life in an alternate world.

To the young people who are also travelling here, I’ll tell you now that I will leave saving the world to you, so I’m sorry, and thank you in advance.

Translation Notes:

“the selection is completely random”: in the manga this got very mixed up (partially due to my unclear translation) so I’ll just clear it up here -- God didn’t choose who is going, he is simply the (unfortunate) messenger of this whole thing

“the other kids went happily”: the word in Japanese here is 子 ko can be used to refer to someone younger or lower in status, so God uses this to refer to all of the Saviors, no matter their age. however it can also be used to refer to what the English word “kid” refers to -- someone in their teens or younger (depending on the context), which is where the initial misunderstanding of “the other kids” comes from in Japanese

"family registry": this is essentially a government record of you and your family members that you would have a copy of, and you update it when you have kids or when someone dies (it’s a little similar to a birth certificate or something)

[spnfanficpond]

Pond Diving - emilyshurley

Welcome to today’s Pond Diving Spotlight! We hope that you enjoy this little insight to our members and perhaps even find some useful tips for your own writing. Happy reading!

Want to volunteer, send us an ask! We’re looking forward to learning more about all of you! Not sure what PD is, you can learn more here.

Name: Emily

Age: 21

Location: India

URL: @emilyshurley​

Why did you choose your URL: Okay this is embarrassing. I was trying to sign up for AO3, so I did a quick Google search for two things, what's the name of Dean's daughter? Emma, and Chuck's last name, Shurley

I accidentally typed Emma as Emily and that's it. 

There was a very real chance that my url would have been emmashurley. Thoughts on that one? Maybe I'll change it someday. 

What inspired you to become a writer: Being an only child who wasn't allowed to watch tv for more than 2 hours. And not having friends, that also had something to do with it. 

How long have you been writing: Fanfiction? 4 years (was on Wattpad before this). In general? 12 years, I guess... I remember showing my first short story to my english teacher in 6th class. 

What do you do when you are not writing i.e. Job/Hobbies etc? Cooking, eating what I made. I don't get to cook often so I enjoy it when I can. Other than that, college takes up most of my time. Currently getting my bachelor's degree in science. It's my last year, will probably get master's in zoology next. 

How long have you been in the SPN Fandom? 4 years

Are you in any other fandoms and do you write for them? Way too freaking many. But I write for marvel and I'm thinking of re-posting the very first vampire diaries fanfic I wrote. But are people still into vampires?

Do you do any writing outside of fanfiction? If so, tell us about it? Mostly journalling, but I occasionally take part in writing competitions and things.

Favorite published author: Amish Tripathi (He mainly writes Hindu mythological fantasy? If that's anyone's jam here)

Have you ever read a book that made an impact on your life? Which one and why?: Leap of faith by Danielle Steel. Not for any reason other than the fact that it was the first novel I ever read. My grandfather was reading it, and I told him I wanted to read something too so he gave it to me. 

Favorite genre of fanfic (smut, angst, fluff, crack, rpf, etc):Platonic fluff!!!! Give me all the fics of best friends being adorable. 

Favorite piece of your own writing: Once upon a Winchester. But I gave myself so little canon to work with that I think I'll continue it after the show ends. I have to know the ending to continue it. 

Most underrated fic you have written: Letters to no one. For any marvel fans, it's a two part fic in Natasha's POV, just some letters she thought no one will ever read. 

Story of yours that you’d most like to see turned into a movie/tv show: Project Latrodectus, again marvel. I kinda feel bad for mentioning my marvel fics so much but I'm pulling influences from the story of Eklavya in Mahabharata, which is a Hindu epic so complex that I won't attempt to explain it here. 

Favorite Tumblr Writer(s): Ahh that's a tough one. I love so many people. At this point, mentioning Myin ( @myinconnelly1 ) feels like cheating because another who has ever looked at my posts can tell she's my favourite human. So I'll try not to mention her further. 

Otherwise, Beka ( @impala-dreamer), Kate ( @katehuntington​ ), @katymacsupernatural and other hoomans I can't remember because I have been away from Tumblr for a while. 

Favorite Fic from another writer: Blood and Honey by @kittenofdoomage. And the proposal by @katymacsupernatural

Favorite character to write: Marvel: Natasha Romanoff, Supernatural: I have never written Charlie but I'd love to. 

Favorite Pairing to write: So they are platonic ships but Dean and Charlie, the boys and Garth and Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff. 

Least favorite character to write (and why): Easily John Winchester. I don't know, my brain just can't process his character. Like no matter how many times I try, John just sounds off. 

Do you have anyone you consider a mentor? Irl, my grandfather. On tumblr, Myin. I know, I know I said I won't mention her but Myin is my support system here. No matter what goes on in my brain, no idea is too crazy for her. 

Do you have any aspirations involving your writing? To make people feel less alone because I think that feels like shit. My goal moving forward is to write more Indian reader and LGBTQ reader fics because I think not many people in the fandom (that I know of) are writing those fics. 

How many work-in-progress stories do you have: Four, all of them are series. Technically 2 are my ongoing ones. And one is an MCU x SPN crossover that's taking a while to plan. 

What are you currently working on? Nothing focusing on college these days. But will write random one shots here and there.

“Pond Diving” - All About The Writing

What/who has had the biggest influence on your writing? My inability to write romance. No joke, I don't feel like I write it well. So I tend to write general fics and crack fics.

Best writing advice you've been given: Someone recommended the book, writing down the bones, to me a while ago. In the very first chapter it says, use a cheap notebook (so you don't feel guilty about 'bad writing') and a fast writing pen. 

Since most of my non fanfic writings are done by hand I like that advice.

Biggest obstacle you’ve faced in your writing: Procrastination. I'm the creator of my one misery here. I push stuff till the last moment then complain about being too busy to do anything. 

What aspects of writing do you find difficult when you write fanfiction?Smut. I can't. I don't know I like to say I don't feel comfortable writing it but the truth is I just think I'd put people off. Which is not the intended outcome. 

Is there anything you want to write but are afraid to (and why): More LGBTQ+ characters/reader inserts. Why? Say for example, even though I'm bi, but my version of bisexual Dean might not be something other people would relate to and I'm scared of accidentally offending someone. 

What inspires/motivates you to write: What if scenarios. I love speculating and coming up with the context behind what we see on screen. Like an idea that I'll one day use is, what was Sam going when Dean was in hell or purgatory. Sure in one case he hit a dog and met a girl but how? 

So I want to write more general fics or like filler between the scenes we see on the screen. 

How do you deal with self doubt: By talking to people, knowing I'm not alone in this helps. And sending fics to friends before I post them. 

How do you deal with writer's block: Play the sims. What I mean is take a break, do something completely different for a while. 

Do you plan/outline your story before you start: I don't, for one shots. For series I have to have an ending or else I'll lose interest very quickly. 

Do you have any weird writing habits: Would you consider writing/planning things on paper before writing it on the computer weird? 

Have you ever received hateful comments on your fic and how do you deal with it? I did. My very first fic on Tumblr. It was a Tony Stark x Indian!Reader fic and someone messaged me saying most content media is written for an American/Western audience. And that Tony Stark would never actually do for someone who's Indian because well Indian characters aren't primarily present in the MUC. So no one wants to read it. 

What I did about it? I deleted the fic and every backup I had of it. Because in my head they were right. All Indian get is Bruce Banner doing charity work for "all the poor Indians".

It wasn't until recently that I started talking to @desisamslut that I realised that people actually want to read about reader inserts that are like them. I mean it's called a reader insert for a reason how could I not see it?

Conversely: what’s been some of your favorite feedback on your fanfic?When someone made a mood board for my Black Widow fanfiction. 

If you could give one piece of advice to a new and/or struggling writer, what would it be? Hang in there, no matter how uncommon you think what you want to write about is, you'll find an audience. I mentioned @desisamslut in another answer, the first thing she told me was she has never seen an indian reader fic, so she felt happy when she read the one I wrote recently. 

[the-curious-butterfly]

Forever and Always

(This song still gets me to this day. And if you know it, well, you already know what this is about. Take caution all who enter here.)

It was late by the time Amity finished setting up dinner. She doesn’t cook often but she desired to do something special today so Luz better be grateful. Speaking of, said girl should be arriving any minute now so she really only had enough time to wash up. Using the candles she had lit and scattered around the house as a means to find her way to the restroom, Hooty was asleep and so were the lights, she made sure to stay quiet while upstairs considering Eda and King were also asleep. 

Amity shot a mental “thank you” to Eda’s door for allowing them to do this even though they didn’t even have to ask. From all the years of being with Luz, Amity has come to find the Owl Shack, house but she’ll still teasingly call it a shack to Hooty especially, like a first home. First because her actual home never had her feeling like this. And Eda like a second mom, second to Lilith, don’t even ask about her “real” mom. 

After a quick freshening up Amity made her way back downstairs to watch over the food and wait for Luz to arrive. Who should really be arriving any moment now. Not only did they have a date but it was late and Luz does live here. In fact it was odd for the girl not to be here at this time of night but she was sent out on some last minute errands by Eda who was too sleepy to remember them earlier. The Owl Lady was both a blessing and a curse on their relationship but who would be surprised to hear that. 

There was no need to worry though, Luz had grown into a very capable witch, as powerful as Amity herself and no doubt will be as strong as Eda one day. So like I said, there really was no need to worry but as seconds became minutes became half-an-hour she found herself unable to do anything but. Surely Luz would have tried using her Scroll to call her by now, she hated making Amity concerned even if she was just five minutes late.

A young 16 year old Amity sat in the booth of one of the few restaurants in Bonesborough that now carried human cuisine. Thanks to Luz a link was formed between this realm and the human one so humans were no longer a rare sight around here and while not all did some businesses did see the opportunity in that. 

Amity herself has come to learn that she really likes pasta which this particular restaurant served a good selection of.  When she had arrived she ordered two cups of tea, Black Tea for herself and Barley Tea for Luz, but the girl had yet to arrive and her tea was getting cold. 

At first she was annoyed but as annoyance turned to concern a ding from her scroll helped ease her mind. 

Hey babe, I’m so sorry I’m late something happened at the Owl House and now I’m running over there as fast as I can, pretty sure I nearly ran over that tiny critter with the big nose. Anyway, I’ll be right there, please please please don’t be upset. I love you ~ Luz

Idiot, how was she suppose to be upset when Luz texted as if she was sending a letter. A very short but sweet letter that showed just how much the human cared about how her witch was feeling, and even though it took nearly 7 more minutes for the girl to get here Amity found she still couldn’t bring herself to be upset when Luz sat across from her panting and trying to explain everything. 

Quickly taking her girl’s hand Amity insisted it was alright, Luz didn’t need to explain and the two still had a great time. 

It’s now been an hour and still no word, not even when Amity tried to call or text her, which wasn’t like Luz at all. So she tried to call Willow, then Gus, her siblings even who despite keeping their nature as troublemakers knew when to take the tremors in her voice seriously. She even called Boscha who was still a bitch but in a good way, she had mellowed out since school and even more when she started dating Willow. That and the fact that Amity gave three eyes a stern talking to that if she ever hurt Willow (and by extension Luz or anyone else) again she was going to be sorry. 

But that talk was more a formality than any real threat, she knew how hard Boscha has been trying. When Willow found out about her feelings the gentle girl really made Boscha work for it and the girl never complained once. She meant it when she said she wanted to be better and though it took awhile the group welcomed her with open arms. After that Amity and Boscha started being freinds, not like what they use to be during school but actual friends and Amity couldn’t help but admit that it was nice. If only things were different, maybe if they didn’t have the parents they had, maybe they could have been better friends all along. 

No time to dwindle on that thought though, no one said they seen Luz since the morning and it took another half hour to make all those calls so Amity was really starting to freak now. 

‘What’s wrong, Luz?’ ‘Where are you?’ Were just some of the many thoughts making a mess of her head. ‘Mi amor, what’s going on?’ 

“Mi amor” was a phrase Luz taught her from that other human language she spoke. Amity sometimes forgot the name of it when there was too much else going on her mind. 

The two teens were more than content to laze around on Eda’s oddly shaped couch all day if they could. Amity sat up properly on her side, a book open in her left hand for her to quietly read while her right absentmindedly combed through Luz’s hair. Said girl had laid her head in her girlfriend’s lap while she also held a book open with both her hands. 

At some point during their reading session Luz had ended up getting distracted and blurted out “Eres tan hermosa.” into the empty space. Effectively startling Amity considering how quiet it has been for awhile now. She couldn’t help the light blush that formed when she looked down and saw Luz staring at her with “that” look in her eye. That look she gave her when she was doing something particularly “amazing” which Luz insisted was all the time. 

“What?” Amity asked with a hint of laughter in her voice. By now she knew about this other language Luz spoke but still wasn’t familiar enough with it to understand what she was saying. Not for lack of trying though, she had secretly acquired a book from the human realm to help her learn and knew enough to know that the word “You” was somewhere in there, at least. But she didn’t want to spoil the surprise until she was ready to show Luz how far she’d come. 

“You’re so beautiful.” Luz repeated in English this time, effectively turning Amity’s light blush into a raging fire. Internally she was proud that she somewhat got the “you” part right. 

“So hermosa is beautiful?” Amity asked with genuine curiosity that made Luz’s heart skip beats. Here was someone who loved her enough to want to learn everything they could about her. And Amity sounded really cute when she was trying to speak Spanish. 

“Si, mi amor.” 

“I know si is yes but what is mi amor?” 

Luz whispered the answer into a slightly twitchy pointed ear. 

A sudden screeching sound from her scroll ripped her out of her thoughts. She hoped beyond hope that it was Luz and if it was she resorted to give the girl a piece of her mind. But it wasn’t Luz and looking down at who was calling made her want to drop her scroll entirely. It was Viney and while Viney was a good friend, and Emira’s girlfriend, she was also a healer who worked at the local hospital for Magical Folk and Beasts Alike. They also recently started treating humans and if Viney was calling at this time of night it was never anything good. 

But instead of Viney’s voice it was Emira’s sounding sadder than Amity’s ever heard her. And she was quite sad when she thought Viney stood her up at Grom. 

“I found her.” was all it took to have Amity rushing out the door. This couldn’t be happening, it just couldn’t. Not after everything that happened just last month.

A 23 year old Amity sat with a rather content expression on her face as she listened to Luz’s mother, Camilia, recount another tale of Luz’s childhood that Amity is certain she’s heard for the fifth time now. But she wasn’t the only one Luz invited to her mother’s table this time and it was only fair the others got to hear it for it was a particularly juicy story that Amity would never grow tired of. 

“Are you serious?” Gus asked with that adorable boyish wonder he never grew out of. 

“Augustus, do you think I could ever lie about something like this?” 

“Wow, Luz, I think you might have topped even mine and Ed’s most daring stunt when we were that age.” Emira laughed as she dug into her frijoles along with her brother. They were pretty good for human food. 

“Mami, do you really have to tell everyone who walks through that door that story?” Luz whined prompting Amity to rub the back of the hand closest to her. 

“Relax, mi amor, I’m sure nearly everyone here has a story as embarrassing as that.” 

“You don’t” 

“I said nearly everyone, I’m perfect which makes me an exception.” 

“Sure, sure.” Boscha mumbled out from where she was sitting next to Willow who was insisting that the girl try the green ‘broccoli’ stuff because it would be rude if she didn’t. 

“It’s an earth plant that humans eat, it’s not going to hurt you.” At least she hoped not. 

But a rather boisterous laugh silenced everyone as Eda spoke up. “That’s nothing, wait till you all hear about some of the things she’s done in the Boiling Isles that she’s been too embarrassed to tell anyone else about.” 

“EDA! Not now, don’t ruin this for me!” 

“Oh c’mon kid, we all know why we’re here and if she hasn’t left you yet she never will.” 

At that everyone went silent as they stared at Luz and Amity. Amity smiled nervously as she turned her attention to Luz who looked like that one expression of an animal getting caught in lights. 

“Luz, what does she mean?” She asked for she didn’t know why they were here, to her it just seemed like a spur of the moment thing to have everyone together. But then again when is everyone ever able to be together like this, she’s sure today was a work day for most of them. The more she thought about it the more she realized she should have sensed something earlier. What with the weirdly knowing smiles she kept receiving. 

Finally Luz found the courage to clear her throat as she turned to face Amity. “Amity, the reason we’re all here is I wanted to ask you something.” She stood up and gently helped Amity out of her seat. God the silence was deafening but no where near as deafening as when Luz went down on one knee. And where did that tiny box come from?

“Amity Blight, I’d like to be your fearless champion and take my place beside you forever.” Oh the little box opens. “If you’ll have me?” 

‘If you’ll have me’ echoed in her head over and over and as smart as she was she just could not wrap her head around them.

“L-Luz, what does that...what does that mean?” 

“It means.” The girl had to swallow real quick “Amity Blight, will you marry me?” 

This was it, this was what she was expecting yet at the same time not expecting at all. She once wrote their names together when she was 14 taking notes in class. Okay maybe more than once and not just in class and not just when she was 14 but the point is. She never imagined...never imagined.

“Yes.” It came out so quietly the first time that Luz wasn’t sure if she actually heard it. “Yes, Luz, of course I will!” 

And as Luz stood up to wrap her new fiancé in her arms they were met with a round of applause and cheers of “Kiss her, kiss her, kiss her.” from their family and friends.

“Should we give them what they want?” Luz asked but instead of giving an answer Amity kissed her with everything she had. 

If that day was the best day of Amity’s life than today had to be the worst. Something was wrong with Luz but she didn’t know what, couldn’t hear them when they told her as Viney led her down a maze of halls. All she managed to hear was that there was an accident but the way her heart pounded wouldn’t let her process the rest. 

All that was going through her head was “Why? Why did this have to happen? Why now?” The thoughts growing louder as she was finally lead into a room to see a small girl covered in bandages and lying on a large white bed. 

Amity rushed to the chair beside the bed as she quickly took hold of her light’s hand. “Luz? Baby, I’m here. It’s okay. Please open your eyes.” 

And Luz did for she could never refuse Amity what she wanted even if it hurt. The sight of those wonderful brown orbs finally causing the tears to spill from Amity’s own eyes. 

“Hey?” Luz said in a voice so quiet and like her own but at the same time not. 

“Hey” Amity answered back in much the same way as she brought Luz’s hand to her lips to kiss the back of it. “It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay.” 

“I’m sorry that I was late for dinner.” She sounded genuinely sorry like it was her fault for inconveniencing Amity and the girl couldn’t help laughing even though it was painful. “Don’t worry about it.” 

“But I am worrying about it.” Luz insisted quietly. “Em even told me that you made something for me.” 

“Nothing big, just pasta so it was easy.” Amity rubbed at her eyes with the other hand that wasn’t holding onto Luz’s. 

“Still, I would have loved to have some. You make the best food. I bet our kids will even insist that every time they bring friends over.” 

This is the second time Luz has ever brought up children. The first being to ask Amity if she ever wanted to have them. To which she answered “Yes, eventually.” After all how else was the dream to end if not eventually having a family with Luz. 

“Hey Amity?”  Her girlfriend of five years now, since they were 14, called out to her while she was studying for the exam that would decide if she made the emperor’s coven or not. Don’t let that name fool you, ever since the defeat of the old emperor and rise of the new one, though don’t ask who it is you wouldn’t believe me if I told you, things have been better than ever. And the coven was something Amity still wanted, more than ever actually, to be a part of. Seeing Eda and Lilith both a part of it and in action together was very inspiring. 

“Yes?” 

“You like kids, right?”

“Yes?”  Amity had been rather straight forward in her answers around this time. Not able to afford being too distracted.

 “Ever thought of, you know, maybe one day having some of your own?” 

No matter how strong her resolve this question took Amity completely by surprise. So much for not getting distracted. 

“What?” She finally turned to her girlfriend with a heavy blush on her features. It’s not that she never thought of having kids with Luz but this was the first time the concept had ever been spoking of out loud. 

“You know what if there were a couple of Luzes and Amitys running around. Would you like that?” Luz stood leaning on the doorway of her own room, the one Eda finally gave her, smiling sheepishly as she sported her own blush. 

“How many is a couple?” Amity had to ask, she made it sound like she wanted four or something.

“I dunno, maybe like six?” 

SIX?!

“Okay, Luz, for one thing no we are not having six kids. I doubt we could even care for that many.” Luz pouted but she perked up as soon as she heard her love’s next words. “But yes, I would like to have kids with you, eventually.” Amity’s expression was rather shy as she looked away from Luz that the human couldn’t help but rush over and plant a sweet little kiss on her lips. 

“I would like that too, eventually.” She said rather happily, always keeping that childish innocence she’s had ever since she was a kid. The one that melted Amity’s heart the first time. 

“I hope I learn to make their favorite foods right.” Amity played along with a smile even as the tears fell heavier on the floor. 

“As if you could ever do anything wrong.” Luz tried to insist rather weakly. Amity could only nod but then Luz’s tone turning rather serious as she spoke her next words. 

“I wish I could have married you before-” 

‘No don’t say it, please don’t say it.’ Amity said in her mind as she kissed Luz to keep her from doing so. It was at this time that she finally noticed a few other new tearstained faces in the room. Willow and Gus, Edric and Emira, even Eda, King, and Lilith. Oh gosh Eda, Amity hadn’t thought to wake her up and she deserved to know as much as anyone. But the look on the Owl Lady’s face, a title she kept even as she took control of the curse, said that it was alright, she understood. 

It was at that moment that Amity got an idea as she left the room without saying a word, taking everyone by surprise and making them think that she ran because she couldn’t handle it. But before they could send someone to follow her she came back with two small rings in her hand and walked up to her old mentor. 

“You’re able to perform ceremonies are you not?” Amity asked and understanding quickly dawned in everyone's eyes as Lilith nodded. 

Amity took her place once again in the chair next to Luz, taking her hand as Lilith began speaking. Their eyes did not leave each other for one moment and finally when it came time for Amity to speak all she could think to say was. “I love you, Luz Noceda.” 

She knows there was a ritual to this. Something she should have said. But she couldn’t bring herself to say anything of it. No amount of words felt strong enough to say what she felt so she kept it to as little words as possible. Just five little words that meant everything. 

When it came time for Luz to say her part it took everything she had to lean up and whisper in a twitchy pointed ear. 

And I must apologize but it’s not my place to tell you what she said. Those words were meant for Amity only and they will stay Amity’s till the end of forever. 

~~~

I love you forever

Forever and always

Please just remember

Even if I’m not there

I’ll always love you 

Forever and always. 

(No that’s not what she said, it’s just the ending to the song which I’m listening to right now and...damn it) 

[ilguna]

Metanoia - Chapter One (f.o)

Summary: you will be crowned victor of the 75th hunger games.

Word Count; 4.9k

Warnings; swearing

NOTES: i give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

This might be it. This might just be the first time you’re feeling emotion that doesn’t belong to yourself. And all you can say about it is: it’s completely awful. It’s nothing close to what your mother had told you about. Right now, it feels like you’re a prisoner in your own body, and you’re not being allowed to feel for yourself.

Whoever your soulmate is, they’re obviously empathetic to the point that it’s crippling. Imagine being this grief-ridden on reaping day. You can’t fathom the idea that any regular person would feel this bad for people. So there’s really a couple of things that might be going on. 

One, your soulmate is a friend of a victor, and they’re worried that their favorite person is going to get pulled to go back inside. Two, they’re family of a victor and it’s the same thing. Three, it’s an empathetic person--which you can’t stand. Or four, it’s a victor themself.

No matter the way it goes, their emotion is cancelling out yours. You don’t want to be full of sorrow, you know for a fact that somewhere deep in your body, you’re absolutely bubbling with excitement. You’ve been looking forward to today ever since the games were announced in the winter.

Today is the day.

And yet, you can’t pull yourself out of bed. You’ve been staring at the white ceiling for at least an hour now, setting yourself back. It’s like all the enthusiasm has been drained from your body, and you’re actually regretting your decision.

A slight shiver runs through your body at that thought. You draw the line there, you’re not going to regret anything. 

Pushing yourself up, you slide out of the silk bed sheets before you can change your mind and go back to laziness. You don’t bother fixing the blankets, not really caring for the fact that they’re in disarray. You never make the bed, and you won’t start on it today either. It’s a tactic of stalling, and there’s no reason for you to.

Before the shower, you decide on picking out the dress. Something gold and glittery, which is just about the entire wardrobe. You didn’t actually buy any of these dresses, they were all given as a gift from your stylists or Capitol citizens when you spent your summer after the games, inside of the Capitol.

You pick out a floor-length dress that’s a mix between black and gold. Two set colors that you can match easily. You kick out the heels that are also black and somewhat glittery. They don’t have the actual heel part to them, but they are engineered to look like it, and they’re pretty easy to walk in. They’re always your go-to when it comes to special things like this. 

The dress is only a little bit poofy, and it’s on the lower half. Either way, it goes down to the floor, and there should be no chance of anyone seeing your feet to know that you’re reusing another pair of shoes. There’s a v-neck plunge, but it doesn’t show much skin, you still look pretty modest. In the back, it’s open.

It’s definitely a dress you could find yourself wearing during the interviews with Caesar. Or a dress you would have worn after your first tribute had won the hunger games. You’ve only mentored twice, and both of them came out alive. After that, the job was handed onto them since they were the more recent victors.

All your jewelry resides on the white vanity, but you don’t bother picking those out. You toss the dress over the back of the chair, and move the shoes nearby so it won’t be a hunt. After that, you go ahead and get into the bathroom to take your shower.

You scrub your entire body clean, even though you know that you’ll be washed again inside of the Capitol about a dozen times. You do the basics to your hair, and when you get out, you’re putting product after product in so it’s ready when you do finally come around to it.

You pull on your undergarments, skipping your dress as you head downstairs for breakfast. There’s no shame in going downstairs half-naked. There’s no one else here to call you out on it.

You hit the bottom of the stairs, and while you’re navigating through the living room to get to the kitchen, you pause in the open doorway, a little surprised to see who’s sitting on the white loveseat.

Tanith is flipping through one of those books that are on the bookshelf for pure decoration. From here, you recognize the pink cover like you received the book yesterday, when it’s been years. A gift from your then-district representative, the cover reads in nice script writing, ‘how to get used to your new wealth’. Written by some asshole inside of the Capitol.

“Riveting.” Tanith looks up from the book, eyes landing on you. But she freezes, “God--I’m sorry--”

She covers her eyes, and you can’t help to laugh, “Really?”

You walk past her, heading into the kitchen. You dig through the fridge, pulling out some fresh fruits that you’d bought yesterday from the store. On top of that, you pull out a few eggs too, pop bread into the toaster, spray some cooking butter onto the pan so the eggs won’t stick, and work away.

“I should have knocked instead of walking inside.” She says, “That’s my fault.”

You shrug, “I have no shame, not after my time in the Capitol.”

“I expect not.” you can hear the light scraping of the stool against the tile floor, “You really want to go back inside?”

After the games had been announced, all the victors in the district had gathered together to have their own little meeting. Cipher the people who didn’t want to go back in, and make the ones who did, known. The old were automatically ruled out either way, whether they wanted to go inside or not, they’re too delusional. Old age has rotten their brains, some can’t think straight anymore.

There had been a good handful of people that wanted to go back inside. The only problem was that everyone wanted to do it based on capabilities again. To keep you guys on top of the pyramid as usual. You can’t send in someone who would die off immediately. Thus, a competition started.

As time went on, people were slowly weaned out. Based off of strength, fighting capabilities, who still knew the edible plants, the medical knowledge. If you were able to still present well, with the cute dresses, the white smiles, the charming personalities.

It brought it down to only a couple of you. Sorcha, an older woman in her forties who’s fit even after all these years. She’s arrogant--even more than you--and mean. She’s self-driven, disregards most of the people that come across her. She started off as a Capitol favorite, but now they see her as a total bitch.

Daleka, in her thirties and a very skilled fighter. She won her games by being completely ruthless. Her personality is likable, the Capitol complained when she stopped visiting and mentoring all together. Has a wife and a kid she adopted from the foster care place.

You, of course. Only twenty-five, still seen as somewhat fresh off of the arena. Nine years may seem like a long time to others, but not to you. Along that time, other districts have won too. Like Annie from four and Johanna from seven, and your most recently hated, Katniss and Peeta from twelve. 

But that doesn’t take away from the fact that you’re one of the top three for the most recent out of the arena. First would be Zavian, next would be Tanith, and then it would be you. Everything is still very fresh in your mind, since you were the one that had mentored both Zavian and Tanith. What you’re saying is, you’re a perfect candidate.

Anyway, the final girl that had wanted to go in was Enobaria. A Capitol favorite, like most of you are. Fierce, confident. She got her teeth filed to be sharp because of her signature win of ripping a tribute’s throat out. Fun to be around, nowhere near bubbly like some people think.

And for the boys, the list was quite large, and you wouldn’t be able to name all of them on one hand. The whole point of this is, there could only be one girl and one boy sent in. Therefore, the competition narrowed it down for everyone, as the challenges progressively got harder.

For boys, Brutus won. Tall, bald, muscular. He’s in his forties, but he looks to be about late thirties instead. He’s cocky, a complete pain in the ass, and he would be difficult to fight. But he’s an ally that you can’t deny wouldn’t be good to have at your side.

And for girls, you won it. You practically blew Sorcha and Daleka out of the water. Enobaria was much more difficult to shake, though. She’d obviously continued studying even after her games. You might have been a softie back in the academy, but you were a quick learner, and all of it stuck like it’d been glued with superglue. 

The volunteer is yours to have. And if you chose to back out, there would be no harm in it. That’s why Enobaria is there, she’s the backup in case you were to choose to do something like that. However, you didn’t fight tooth and nail with a bunch of bullies just to quit it. You want that win.

“Yes,” you answer Tanith’s question, “I do. Afraid I won’t win?”

She snorts, “Hardly. I’m afraid that you’ll be a murder machine.”

You look over your shoulder at her, “Have you eaten yet?” 

“No,” she says, and with that, you serve her the eggs, toast and berries. After that, you slide her the butter for her toast, “Thank you.”

As you go back to cook your own breakfast, you smile down at it, “Obviously you haven’t watched my games.”

“I was fifteen.” she objects, “I watched them. What I mean, is that I’m afraid you’ll become a murdering machine again.”

“That’s what all the victors are, not just me. Look back at anyone’s games from this district and you’ll see that.” you pop a strawberry into your mouth, “And it’s not like there’s much to lose, either.”

“This big old house?” she proposes, “Me?”

Tanith has uncomfortably clung onto you like a parental figure. She came straight from the foster care herself, an orphan. Academy took her when she turned eight, because obviously no one would miss her. She was just as deadly as you were, when she turned seventeen. You hand picked her yourself, even though there were ‘better candidates’ for it.

She’s your first winner, like how Zavian is your second. You were sure to keep him out of the same games with Tanith, knowing that it would screw the whole system. You’re fond of them equally, but unlike Zavian--who was eager to get away from you as fast as possible--Tanith has stuck around.

Take today as one of the many examples.

“I like how the house was your first priority to say.”

“You speak about this place like it’s a home base.” she reasons, “You seem to like it more than me, what can I say?”

You go ahead and plate all of your food, turning off the stove but leaving the pan. If you put it under water so soon, the metal will warp from the temperature change, and ruin it. It won’t sit right ever again.

You stand opposite of Tanith, leaning against the counter as you eat, “I wouldn’t say I like it more than you, that seems like an overstatement.” you decide to change the conversation, bored of this one, “Should I be worried about anyone else coming to visit?”

“Enobaria was.” Tanith says, picking at her egg, “She wanted to come and be the one to harass you about volunteering. I told her that I’d take the blow.”

“Smart girl.” you say, stabbing your fork into your egg, walking as the yolk runs out, and straight to your toast. The berries are long gone, “Well, I guess she’ll find out when I volunteer.”

“What’s the point of it, anyway?” she asks, “I mean, you have everything you could have wanted, right?”

“You and I don’t think the same.” you say, “You remind me of myself, back when I was on my victory tour.”

She gives you a confused look, “Is that compliment?”

“I’m more or less calling you humble.”

“Thanks…”

“And mushy, you’re an overthinker. You like the simple things, you won and now you’re done, right? You’re not bothered by the fact that you’re just another face, another name among this crowd of victors.” you take your time eating between sentences, “Me, on the other hand--who would give up the opportunity to be a living legend?”

She hums, nodding a little bit, not knowing what to say. It’s a rhetorical question, there’s a ton of people that have passed on this. But the idea is way too tempting. Possibly double the cash, and you literally get put into the books for not surviving once, but twice? The Capitol citizens love you now, wait until later.

You finish your breakfast quickly, taking your and Tanith’s plate as you move over to the sink, running water over them. Next, you go ahead and place the pan in there too.

“I’ve got to get ready, are you sticking around?”

“I should report back to Enobaria.” Tanith says, you can hear the chair again, “I could come back later with Emi, if you want.”

“Whatever.” you say, heading towards the staircase, “Don’t worry about me too much, kid. I’m unbreakable so far.”

“So far.” She echos.

There’s no goodbye as you go up. By now, your hair is pretty dry. In the bathroom attached to your bedroom, you go ahead and get ready now. You brush your hair, blow dry only a little bit, and then straighten. When you’re done with that, you curl and hairspray.

By the time you’ve moved onto makeup, Tanith is back with Emi already. Emi is older than the both of you, but she has more experience when it comes to some things. She picks out the jewelry for you, and does some of the harder parts of your makeup. The both of them work together to get you into the dress, and then help with the shoes too.

Standing in front of the floor-length mirror, you double check everything, asking yourself if this is what you want. With a few more turns, you decide that you’re going to get praise for the outfit choice. The Capitol will be impressed with how dressed up you got for it. Others might see it as some joke.

You have about thirty minutes before the reaping, which is when you go to leave the house. It isn’t until you’ve stopped at the door, when you realize that you’re missing some sort of token. You tilt your head from side to side, trying to remember what you wore in your first games.

A necklace, wasn’t it? Given to you by your then-boyfriend. He later broke up with you because of your performance inside of the games, which he wasn’t expecting at all in the slightest. Because of this, you kept the necklace as a reminder, it’s tortuous, and you wouldn’t be caught dead wearing it now.

“What are you waiting for?” Emi finally asks.

“I need a token.” you tell her, still staring at the staircase, distracted.

“Earrings, necklace, bracelet…” Emi urges slightly, “Ring?”

“No.” you tell her, “Wait--yes for the necklace.”

Your hand finds it, already dangling around your neck. Another gift, Tanith. Some souvenir she had gotten from the Capitol during her visit after she won. This will please her.

“Never mind, it’s on me.”

You leave the house, closing the door with a slam, since it’s a bit shifty when it comes to closing. After that, you wait at the bottom of the steps with the other two, watching as people come out of their houses, one by one. In no time, you’re all walking towards the stage in one big herd.

“Not everyone can visit you, but I definitely will.” Tanith says, “In the departing room, I mean.”

“Sweet.” you look over all the district people who dressed up nicely, despite the fact that they’re not going to be the ones going in. You catch the attention of a few people because of your out. You wonder if they know deep down that it’s because you’re going to volunteer.

“Zavian even agreed too. It was supposed to be a surprise but I know how you feel about them.”

It’s like showing up uninvited. Like her being inside of your house without any prior warning. You guess that’s somewhat your fault too, since you hadn’t talked to anyone yesterday. You were too amped up about today. It’s funny to you, that you were allowed to feel excited yesterday, but so unmotivated today.

Maybe your soulmate was full of anxiety this morning.

“Wanna know something cool?” you ask Tanith.

“Sure.” She looks over at you, but you’re still staring off at everyone you pass.

“I think I actually do have a soulmate.” 

Tanith gasps, covering her mouth. You look over at her, confused by the reaction, until you realize that it was genuine excitement, “Really? That’s good news! Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

You shrug, “Didn’t see it as important. Haven’t heard anything from them in a long time, so I thought they were as good as dead.”

“It’s good news.” Tanith looks happy for you, “I wish I’d come across mine already.”

She looks down at her wrist, running her finger over the words.

“You’ve got plenty of time.” you tell her.

“Says you. You were so worried about it.” Tanith says, and before you can object, she adds: “Come on, admit it already.”

You give an exasperated sigh, “I suppose.”

She smiles a bit.

Tanith helps you up the staircase to the stage, which almost looks brand new. It isn’t though, it’s just pristine clean. Unlike the other districts, two is highly loved. Which means that the entire district is rich, except for a select few who were born in the poorer part of the district to begin with.

It just means that everything looks nice. The stage is white, it hardly had dirty footprints. You watch as some comes across with a broom to brush off the dirt after everyone has stepped onto the stage.

District Two is practically a second Capitol.

This year, no one sits in chairs. The girls stand on the right, in the back stand the tallest, and the front stand the shortest. You’re fairly tall, you’re able to see over most people’s heads. Most of the girls in the district manage to be short anyway, it was just the genes that you inherited that allowed you to be tall.

You’re given an easy escape route, the same as Enobaria as a backup. If your name is called, no one is allowed to volunteer over you. However, if you don’t volunteer fast enough, then that leaves it up to grabs. There’s a whole list of people that are dying to be able to go back inside.

Two people sit in chairs, waiting for everyone to file in and get comfortable below the stage. The first is the governor, a woman you’re not that fond of. She got on your nerves back when you had won your games. Back then, you were taking a lot of trips to the Capitol to have work done on your body. She was getting irritated about it.

The second person that sits next to the governor, is the district representative. A short man with loud opinions. He’s one of those people that you wouldn’t mind being thrown inside of the arena with. He’d likely be torn apart like the tributes are a pack of wolves. 

He thinks of you guys as used tissues. There’s been a couple of times when you’ve gotten in his face because of what he said. Nearly shredded him right then and there in front of a few peacekeepers and tributes. If people think you’re scary normally, then they haven’t seen you angry.

It’s a disappointment that he is the district rep. You wish he would jump off a cliff and die. 

Once everyone is in their respective places, the governor gives her speech that she gives every year. It’s the one about the dark days, a required speech. In the group of girls, you whisper the words in harmony. After she wraps it up, the rep moves forward.

His name is Theo, a boring name. Unbearably common and simple. You thought the Capitol people were supposed to be extravagant. This man is a disappointment in more than one way, it turns out.

“Happy hunger games!” His voice is what you’d like to also describe as ‘average’. Not deep, not high pitched. Average, “Let’s start with ladies first, shall we?”

As if it’s a question any of you are allowed to answer. You know someone in this group--mainly Sorcha--is dying to yell back ‘actually no, we shall not’ just to see his reaction. Forget the tributes being seen as monkeys, the Capitol people’s reactions are just as entertaining.

He sticks his white-gloved hand into the bowl, spinning his finger around while he puckers his face. He’s likely thinking, ‘Which one looks the most presentable?’

‘It doesn’t matter!’ you want to yell back, ‘I’m volunteering either way!’

It’s building up unnecessary tension. You scowl, eyes glued to his hand as he finally picks a damn slip of paper. He pulls it out, his suit sleeve nearly clipping the mouth of the bowl, and goes back over to the expensive microphone. He pulls off the black tape, and reads over the name.

“Tanith Nuova!” he smiles widely, looking over towards the girl section.

How funny, your own tribute getting called out. It’s a sign. If you didn’t have your mind made up before, you do now.

“I volunteer!” your voice rings out, no one is surprised.

You slide out of the section of girls, along the way, Tanith holds out her hand, and you slap it for a high-five. A small smirk appears over your face as you gracefully go to where you need to stand. One look at the choir of girls, and you can see that you’re nowhere near out of place with how you’re dressed. Plenty of people look like they’re also ready to head back to the Capitol.

Theo doesn’t look too thrilled, his face puckers again as he heads to the microphone, “(Y/n) Rosecelli for our girl.”

He moves over to the boys now, doing the exact same thing that he did the first time. You glare at him out of annoyance. You manage to catch the eyes of Brutus to see he’s shifting on his feet, clearly fed up with this too.

Theo finally gets to the point of it, “Cobalt Struyk--”

He barely gets out the last name when Brutus’ voice overpowers him, “I volunteer.”

Brutus comes over, standing in front of the boys bowl. Theo, scowling and hinting at the beginning of a temper tantrum, motions to the two of you, not even bothering to introduce Brutus.

You hold your hand out for Brutus, and he gives you a smirk as he takes it. Once you have a hold of each other, you turn towards the cameras, holding up your intertwined fingers, a giant grin on the both of your faces.

Two volunteers, it’s unsurprising to the entire nation. They’re expecting volunteers, but they definitely weren’t anticipating those who would step forward.

“Ladies and gentlemen, our tributes for the Quarter Quell!” Theo says after he managed to pull himself together. He skips the bit about shaking hands, and the two of you are then escorted off of the stage.

You begin in the direction of the departing room, noticing how the peacekeepers follow you and Brutus tightly. By the time you get to the building, Tanith and Zavian are already there, in your room.

“What’s with them being so stuffy?” you ask once the door shuts behind you.

“I heard a few districts are getting out of hand.” Zavian leans on the arm of the couch, “I guess it’s better safe than sorry.”

Another reason why you don’t like that Katniss girl, look at the mess she’s made of everything. It was fine before she came along, fucked up the process. Should’ve gotten over the fact that both of them couldn’t win. It’s not like Peeta was a use anyway. Like you’ve said before, deadweight on her fragile, little girl shoulders.

“Well, this is goodbye.” Zavian says, “Thanks for mentoring me.”

Tanith elbows him, giving him a glare, “You could at least be a little sympathetic, douchebag.”

He raises his eyebrows, “That’s a new one, what else are you gonna call me?”

For a second, they’re staring at each other. And then, Tanith grabs her arm like it’s going to detach itself. You watch in awe as she holds it out, looking down at the words.

“Oh, this is unbelievable.” Tanith now looks like her arm can detach, “I’ve been paired with a moron.”

Zavian doesn’t look that phased, taking one look at his arm, and then shrugging. Almost like nothing that went on in front of you, actually happened, he looks at you again, “Good luck in there, you’ll need it. Twenty-three people to fend off? May the odds be ever in your favor.”

Tanith isn’t very good at brushing it off, but she knows her time is limited. She comes over, holding her arms out like a child. You hug her, for her own sake and squeeze her tightly.

“Will you actually use the necklace as a token?” she asks.

“Well, I need something.” you say, “It’s better than nothing.”

“I’ll be rooting for you.” She pulls away, “Thank you for being the greatest person, ever.”

“Cheesy, she hates it.” Zavian comments, laughing a little to himself, “Look at the look on her face.”

Tanith pretends not to hear him, “I know she’s not fond of affection but--” she backs away entirely, “--you should know that a lot of the victors do like you. Truly. Sorcha and a few of the other’s won’t say it, but they love you. We all do.”

You give her a smile, “Thanks.”

“I’ll send anything that you need.” she says, “Make plenty of allies. Be ruthless.”

She’s quoting you. Those are the exact words you said to her last, before she was off to the hovercraft. It’s funny how they’ve stuck with her this long. They must echo inside of her mind like an empty chamber.

“I will, I promise.” you take in a deep breath.

The doors open, “Time’s up, time for the train.”

You look over the two people that decided to visit you, and you open your arms one last time. Tanith comes over willingly, and it takes Zavian a moment before he realizes that it’s extended to him too.

“You two are my pride and joys. Two of my biggest achievements, really. I’ll be back soon, and then you guys can praise me all you want.”

“Get off of me.” Zavian laughs, pushing away now.

“Bye.” you tell them firmly, before turning around and heading towards the peacekeepers.

One of them presses their hand to your lower back, guiding you to the car where Theo and Brutus await. Theo goes in first, since he’s royalty. Next is you, and Brutus nearly weighs the entire car down when he steps inside.

Theo begins muttering about something, you’re not entirely sure if you’re supposed to be listening or not. You want to tell him to shut up, but Brutus beats you to it. Theo glares, you can see him mouth the word ‘ungrateful’ and then stares out of the window for the rest of the time.

When the ride is over, you purposely hold onto Brutus, making him wait, “Open the door for us, Theo.”

He looks over like you just insulted his mother, “Huh?”

“I said, open the door for us. This is our spotlight, after all.” you motion, “Go ahead, before the peacekeepers do it first.”

Brutus is smiling, and he pushes Theo towards the door forcefully. Theo doesn’t like this in the slightest, popping open the door, and holding it open for you and Brutus. Brutus lets you go first, and you step out of the car carefully, holding onto your dress.

Out of the car now, Theo leads you up to the train station. Around you guys are a bunch of peacekeepers still, getting you up to the platform, and then taking on an automatic position behind you guys.

You take your time, waving with a smile at the thought of the fact that the next time you’ll be here, you’re going to be a two-timed victor.

–

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[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #423

“i won’t think about you when i’m older  /  ‘cuz we never really had our closure”

Are you better at cooking dinners or making cakes/biscuits/sweets? Neither. Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? No. Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? My late grandmother's husband stayed overnight when he was driving from New York to Florida or the other way around, idr. How many long term relationships have you been in? Two. Do you sleep with all the lights out, or do you leave a lamp or even the television on? My snake's heat lamp stays on. Who is one person you have forgiven, but still have not “forgotten” what they have done? My dad. Are you a fan of Lana Del Rey? I don't think I've even heard one of her songs. Do you know your blood type? A-. Do you know your mother’s birthday? Yes. Have you got your period at the moment? I haven't had my period since I started TMS. It's honestly so fucking frustrating that it obviously had an effect on my body, but not my depression. I've officially finished TMS as of a few days ago and now I just feel so void of hope. Have you ever been pregnant? No. How old were you when you first went on a plane? Idr, I was a little kid. Have you ever had to take out a loan for anything? Not me personally, but my parents have for my education that I threw away. Are both of your blood parents still in your life? Yes. I don't see my dad a lot, but he's still in my life regardless. When was the last time you went apple picking? I’ve never been. Someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say? Happiness. Have you ever been drunk at school or work? I have not. How many bedrooms are in your house? Three. Are you smart about computers? Not really, no. Have you ever played Just Dance for Wii? Yes. My sister loved them, so we have a few. Do you own a Xbox 360? No. I'm a PlayStation girl. Would you ever do a sex tape for a million dollars? No. I'd be mortified. So, do you need a nap? I really should take one. I slept like... maybe three hours last night. I was up most of the night having a fucking life crisis. What would you rather be doing? Something fun. What sport are you the best at? I haven't touched any sort of sport since I was a teenager. Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Yeah, Nicole. Do you complain a lot? Kind of, but I generally try to keep it in surveys nowadays. I'm just tired of shit. Would you rather go to an authentic haunted house or an ancient temple? Ohhh, tough pick, but I've gotta say the ancient temple. Do you like fruity or minty gum? Both, really. Are you looking forward to any day of this month? Well July is practically over, so I'll answer for August. I'm looking forward to my nephew's birthday. Have you ever gotten detention? A few times for getting too many morning tardies in high school. Is there a traumatic event that you’ve experienced that’s changed your life? Definitely. Do you buy a majority of your clothes from a certain store, or do you just pick out items of clothing you could see yourself wearing, not caring about the store it came from? The latter. Have any of the artists you’re fond of released new albums recently? Powerwolf did recently. Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? I could write a college-length essay on why meerkats do not make good pets whatsoever. Do fucking not get one. I can barely fathom how it's legal in some countries. Ever cried so much you threw up? No, but I've gagged. Who is your best guy friend? Girt. What do you two do when you hang out? Mostly just watch TV and play board games. What is a movie that you thought you would hate but you ended up loving? I dunno, really. Do you even like horror movies? I love horror movies. Do you live in the country? I wish I still did. :/ Me and Mom hate hate hate living in these suburbs. What is your favorite accent? British. Have you ever had a boyfriend your parents didn’t like? No. Do you drink Pepsi or Coke? Coke. Pepsi is gross. What do you plan to do on your 21st birthday? I was literally in the psych hospital for my 21st birthday lmao. It's kind of a painful memory, but I also won't forget the love and kindness people showed me. I especially remember the friend I made there getting the lunch lady to literally go and buy me a slice of cake. Everyone also sang happy birthday to me and gaaaah I'm getting emotional. Do you have any person in your family with an addiction to beer? That was my dad's drink of choice when he drank. Do you take a lot of pictures? Unless I have my camera and am somewhere pretty, no. What kind of face wash do you use? Water, lol. Does drama always seem to follow you? Nah. Does anybody in your family race? No. Are you closer to your mom or dad? My mom. How much money did you used to get from the ”tooth fairy?” Uhhh... I want to say $2 or something? I might be way off, idr. How long do you want to live with your parents? I WISH I could have moved out with an s/o already, but that's just not how life's worked out. Do you have a laptop or desktop? I have a laptop. Do you like your parents? I love them. Do you secretly like someone? It's not a secret, no. Would you ever date your best male friend? Tried that once and it didn't work out. I liked him more as like a brother. What are you currently listening to? "Better Than Me" by Hinder. I really need to turn it off, but I can't make myself. Do you want to be single? I really wish I had a partner to love and motivate me to strive to do better, but I know it's better I'm single right now. I'd just relive the Jason situation, I'm sure. I'd just drag the person down and lose them. Did you go out or stay in last night? I'm almost always at my fucking house not doing shit, so. Have you pretended to like someone? No, that sounds pretty stupid... How is your heart lately? Hurting. A lot. Are you wearing socks? I hate wearing socks and I'm in bed anyway, so no. What do people call you? Britt, mostly. Do you get stressed out easily? VERY. Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? No. What is wrong with you right now? Where the hell to begin. Do you own something from Hot Topic? A lot. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? With someone, so long as the bed is big enough to comfortably fit two of us. Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? No. I'm certain he wants nothing to do with me. Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Sadly. Did you get any compliments today? Definitely not. I look and feel like a wreck right about now. There's nothing to praise me about. Have you ever gone to a beach? Many times. What would you say if someone asked you to get high right now? Unless it was an edible, no. I'd do almost anything to try and make me feel better right now, even if just for a little while, but I'm unwilling to smoke anything. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? HELL no. Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to? Honestly, no. Do you have long nails? No; I never do because I have an awful habit of picking at them. Do you like the gender you are? I don't like or dislike it, honestly. I'm just neutral. Do you generally look nice in photos? HA. Have you ever had a stick insect as a pet? No. What colour are your father’s eyes? They're dark brown. If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer? Ozzy, duh. Name three facts about your family? We're very, very spread out geographically, some of us (in other words, me) are emotionally distant, and uh... idk. Would you ever get into a long distance relationship? Only if it was a certain person, our lives were more on track, and we were making plans for either of us to move soon. What’s the most thoughtful present you’ve ever received? Probably this really long letter my mom wrote for me on my bday a couple years ago. What’s your favorite hot beverage? Hot chocolate. Did you ever play an instrument? If so what? I played the flute for many years, all through middle school and through much of high school. Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents? Carve pumpkins, for sure. Do you think you’re important? I don't fucking know. Probably not. What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Idk. Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? *hands over thick book* Have you ever moved to another state or country? If so, how did it feel to be new? No. Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? No. My hands are way, way too shaky to ever accomplish that. Are you more of a leader or a follower? Definitely a follower, but I can step up in certain situations. What was the first thing you ate today? Well, I was seriously depression-eating last night, way past midnight, and had a peanut butter sandwich. If you could spend the day, doing absolutely anything, with anyone, anywhere, what would it be like? LET'S NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT RIGHT NOW. If I were to ask you how you are doing, and you were only able to answer completely honestly, what would come out? "Falling apart." I've lost direction, motivation, strength, hope, just everything. What is the one thing that you have been avoiding that you should do? I need a fucking shower so bad that it's embarrassing. I just can't move. I have no energy, emotionally or physically. I just can't make myself do it. Is there anything that you wish you could take back? So, so badly. What, in your mind, could make you truly happy? Actually reaching goals. Losing weight. Healing my legs. Knowing with certainty that I wasn't emotionally abusive to Jason. Moving out of this town and back into the country. Financial stability. A job I thoroughly enjoy. I could go on, but let's not. If you could change one conversation in your life, what would you say differently? Would it have REALLY made any difference? God, let me take back shit I said in that fucking letter to you-know-who. It's so hard to believe I once thought it perfectly justified and realistic. When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? I don't have any plans of changing the style in the foreseeable future. I want to color it BADLY. To just SOMETHING. Do people normally say you’re a fast typist, or are you rather slow? I'm like, a lightning-fast typist. Have you ever been considered the ‘smartest person in school?’ No; my best friend in HS was, though. Her GPA was fucking insane. I was in the top percentile, though, so I was up there. What the hell happened to that girl. How many drugs are in your system? If we're including prescriptions, a whole hell of a lot. What’s on your schedule for tomorrow? Jack shit. Like usual. Do you currently have any bite marks/hickeys on your body? No. Do you call anyone baby? Excluding my pets, no. What’s your current mood? lol if you've gotten this far reading, you can make an educated guess. Do you think you are a good person? Bro I just don't know. What were you doing before filling out this survey? I was playing WoW. How late did you stay up last night? Like, 4:30 or so. When was the last time you cried really hard? I wanna say like a week ago? Is your hair longer than your shoulders? No. It still badly needs a trim, though.

[purplesurveys]

1195

survey by n0b0dysp3rf3ct

—:: Who ::—

... was the last person you saw face to face? I passed by my brother last night when I had to go to the kitchen to fill up my tumbler.

... was the last person you texted or messaged online? Angela; I was just asking her for the difference among A4/A5/A6 since I’m now planning to buy a binder and sleeves for my rapidly increasing collection of photocards and postcards. It really frustrates me that A4 is the biggest one and A6 the smallest :((((

... was the last person who asked you for a favour? Kata, my manager. She filed a half-day leave last Friday to get herself and her family vaccinated in her town, so she had sent me over a very long to-do list of deliverables that she asked me to fulfill while she was out. Eventually she ended up filing a whole-day leave since she felt feverish after being under the sun all day, and also possibly from side effects of the vaccine, so I ended up carrying the entire workload for the day. I like Kata and she’s a very easy person and superior to work with, so I honestly couldn’t complain about it.

... was the last person you lent something to? Ooh, I don’t remember. I don’t really lend people things.

... was the last person who told you a secret/confided in you? Andi was just sharing to me their worries about taking the LAE (scheduled for today) and how they’ll be okay if they don’t pass.

... is the tallest person you know? Jo is like 5′7″ and we all look like beans when standing next to her. One of my uncles is also very tall; around 5′10″ or 5′11″ if I’m not mistaken.

... the shortest person you know? I think Aya? That’s just a smart guess, though; I haven’t seen most of my friends in more than a year.

... your oldest (in years) friend? Mik is turning 28 this year. Sometimes I forget just how much older he is than me since we vibe really well together during the rare times we did get to hang out. I’m still bummed we never got that smoke break we wanted to have.

... is the oldest (in length of time) friend? Angela.

... is your youngest friend? Hannah was born in 2000. Peter was born in 2001 but we aren’t that close yet.

... is your newest friend? I haven’t made any new friends recently. Stan Twitter is lonelier than I thought it would be; everyone is already friends with everyone so it’s hard to break that space. Not to mention everyone is also grossly younger than I am – I keep seeing profiles with ‘2004′ on their bio :/ I should start making an effort to look for older ARMYs lol, I definitely feel like I’d have more fun that way.

... is your closest relative? My eldest cousin on my mom’s side, my Kuya.

... was your favourite teacher? My music teacher from high school. I neeeeeever liked music as a subject and it was never a priority of mine, but she always kept our classes something for me to look forward with her advice and the way she was always able to make lessons interesting.

... was your least favourite teacher? Those who made it clear they didn’t like me, even though I didn’t do anything to deserve such hostility.

... did you spend the most time with when growing up? My siblings and cousins since we all lived together at one point.

... knows you the best? My two best friends.

... always beats you in games or sports? Andi would probably be able to beat me in any game. They just let me win because they know I can be a sore loser.

... who is the most creative of the people you know? My family is pretty artistic and I have a lot of talented relatives - my sister and my cousin Maggie paint and draw; my mom can make any kind of craft she wants, with her hnds; and one of my grand-aunts regularly does paintings. I think all of them are amazingly creative in their own way.

... is the funniest person you know? Probably Andi. Hans makes me crack up too.

... is the most organised that you know? My mom.

... that you know has travelled the most? My dad. Both our fridge doors are filled from top to bottom with magnets from places he’s travelled in due to his line of work. He’s toned down quite a bit in the last few years and has taken to staying within Asia, but back then his traveling history was super expansive – Germany, Jamaica, Italy, Belize, Aruba, Italy, France, Monaco, Denmark, Norway, the UK, US, Estonia, Portugal, etc.

... has always been there for you? Angela never left my side.

... has given you the most personal gift? I can’t possibly pick, my friends are pretty good at giving me gifts...like Andi getting me a Petals For Armor CD and a Punk shirt that hasn’t been produced in a while, and Angela giving me a personalized Friends mug because she knows I like my coffee and she knows I like Friends.

... has an annoying laugh? I don’t think anyone I know has an annoying laugh.

... never forgets a birthday? That would be me.

... do you live with? My parents, my two siblings, and our two dogs.

...,do you have the most in common with? I’m not so sure about this one, actually. I share bits of my personality with a lot of people - like me and Jo liking BTS, me and Andi liking wrestling, Blanch and I having similar personalities, me and Laurice being super meticulous when it comes to our work, etc. - but I haven’t met anyone who’s virtually a duplicate of mine when it comes to my traits and interests.

...is the sportiest person you know? I’m also not sure. Most people I know are into watching a bunch of sports, but none of them actually play.

...was your last missed call? It was an unknown number that I kept ignoring because THEY WOULDN’T TEXT WHO THEY WERE. If you have enough load credits to call me multiple times, then surely you can text me and introduce yourself first, and maybe then I can pick up the phone.

...did you last open your door for? My sister knocked last Friday because someone wanted to talk to me via landline. It was weird since no one calls via the phone anymore, but I have a gut feeling it was that ^ same person who had been trying to call me through my phone but never texted me. Eventually I learned it was one of the bloggers I’m talking to for work who just wanted to ask a few questions about our ongoing engagement.

... has your heart? Kim Taehyung. Expect the same answer for this type of question moving forward.

... has your respect? I gotta hand it to Tina for consistently doing well in her studies and excelling in every subject while doing photo and video editing for two orgs, working on her thesis, and being a board member in our mutual org, all while living alone. She does so well I wish I can tell her to give herself the occasional break to avoid burnout.

...do you share a special song with? I don’t think I have that with anyone.

...do you miss right now? Literally allllllll my friends.

...last made you angry? It’s been a while since I’ve directed my anger towards another person. When I get pissed off these days it’s usually over a situation that goes awry or out of my control.

...did you last buy a gift for? So this was not technically meant to be a gift, but what happened was I accidentally secured two orders of the same poster set, which was a part of this new BTS photobook coming out later this month, from two different shops. One of the shops merely posted an ‘interest check’ for the poster set so I signed up for it thinking it was harmless, but when they got back to me they already attached an invoice :/ I ended up having to pay for it just so things won’t get complicated between myself and the shop anymore; and I told Angela she can just keep the extra set I bought and that she can consider it a gift.

...did you celebrate your last birthday with? My family and technically my workmates since I didn’t file a leave that day. I also had food delivered to their house so I guess that can count as my ‘celebration’ with them.

...have you gone to a concert with? I went with Angela for my first Paramore show.

...can make you laugh? Anyone can tbh. It’s not very hard to make me laugh.

...has taught you how to do something? Nina taught me how to embroider and do basic needle/thread skills back when I was still getting into the hobby.

...has lost something of yours? I am almost certain my ex never kept the handwritten letters I used to write her. She never seemed to remember or bring up the things I wrote.

...has broke your heart? Gabie but I’m over it.

...has stood you up? Hasn’t happened to me before.

:: What ::

Is your favourite colour? Pastel pink.

Can you do that most your friends can’t? Type fast, apparently.

Is your birthday? April 21.

Colour eyes do you have? Dark brown/black.

Form of transport do you take to work/school? I work from home. But under normal circumstances I would drive my car.

Music do you like to listen to in the car? I connect my Spotify to the car’s Bluetooth and listen to whatever artist or playlist I’m into at the moment. The music I put on could also depend on my current mood for the day.

Languages can you speak? Filipino and English. I’ve also been able to pick up looooots of Korean phrases and expressions because of the amount of content I watch. I’m nowhere near fluent, of course, but I’m increasingly able to pick up what people say based off a few Korean words I’ll hear in a sentence.

Was the last thing you drank? Continued from idk. I finished off my glass of water from dinner.

Was the last thing you ate? My mom made pasta.

Time did you wake up this morning? Depends on how late I slept the night before and how tired I was, but it usually ranges between 5:45–7:30 AM.

Colour are your bedroom walls? They’re white.

Drink do you usually order when eating out? I never order drinks unless I’m at La Creperie, in which case I always get their San Gines hot chocolate; for everywhere else that isn’t a bar, I just get water.

Food can you cook well? ...I can’t cook.

Animals have you had for a pet? Dogs, rabbit, lovebirds, goldfish, and technically a cat but she was mostly Nina’s.

Are your initials? RC.

Kind of activities do you like to do on the weekends? I’m still kind of stuck at home during the weekends :/ so I can’t do much, but I’m not complaining since I actually prefer staying in these days. Anyway, most recently I’ve taken to catching up on BTS content I’ve missed over the last 8 years, so I like watching shows they’ve done like Bon Voyage, Run BTS, etc.

Movie do you know line by line? Two for the Road, TITANIC, and probably most of White Chicks.

Band(s) have you seen in concert? Paramore, One Direction, a bunch of local bands.

Do you buy/get to treat yourself? It’s usually food - I like giving myself a feast every Friday night - but I’m putting that in the backseat for now as I’ve realigned my money to be spent on BTS merch. My big purchases are saved for the albums for now, but every now and then I’ll see a postcard or photocard I like and buy them. Once I complete the albums I’ll be moving on to the concert DVDs, then the special packages, then probably BT21 plushies. Needless to say I have a longggggg way to go haha.

Colours your phone cover? I have a clear case.

Part of the world would you love to visit? Another continent would be nice.

Question do you dislike being asked? Even though I know people mean well, I don’t like being asked “How are you?” but tbh it’s more of a me thing because I just never really know what to say.

Subject were you good at in school? History.

Careers do your parents have? They both work in the hospitality industry.

Brand of clothing do you buy most often? For clothes clothes I’m not really loyal to a particular brand; I buy from different brands and shops all the time. But for shoes, I like sticking to Nikes.

Chocolate bar is your favourite? Not a big fan of chocolate bars. I love Reese’s Cups, though.

TV show have you watched every series of? Friends, Perfect Strangers, Breaking Bad.

Radio station do you listen to the most? It’s a little hard to tell at this point considering I haven’t driven regularly in over a year. But back when I used to do it, I usually flipped among 93.1, 99.5, and 87.5.

Podcasts are you subscribed to? I’m not the biggest fan of podcasts. Find them a tad bit boring.

Is your favourite dessert? Macarons or cheesecake.

Can’t you do that most around you seem to? Ride a bike.

Are 5 qualities you value in a friend? Loyalty, thoughtfulness, honest, sensitive to my needs and those of others, and intelligent.

Are 5 qualities you value in a partner? ^ Pretty much the same thing.

Size pizza do you usually order? Family size usually.

Cuisine do you like to order or cook? I’ve been getting Japanese so many times recently. I rarely go outside sushi.

Colour(s) dominate your wardrobe? Black and white, and colors that were in at one point like mustard yellow and pastel pink.

Toothpaste brand do you use? Colgate.

Sounds can you hear right now? My insanely loud aircon.

Is the weather like today? Like hell. I believe we’re reaching a heat index of over 50ºC every day now, so...that’s fun. It gets absolutely difficult to work in the afternoon when the temperature is at its most brutal, and its times like this I wish I got to work in the office so that there’s aircon and I could at least work comfortably :/

Are your plans for tomorrow? Just work and have tons of meetings, the usual.

:: Where ::

Do you keep your phone when not using it? I keep my phone near me even when I’m not using it since I could always get an important notification.

Were you born? Manila.

Do you go to unwind? Most days it would be the rooftop, but under normal circumstances I like staying at a coffee shop somewhere to escape life and my responsibilities for a short while.

Is your best friend right now? I believe they’re both at home since they have no reason to be out anyway.

Can you go nearby to have a good time? Personally, I would just go to the Starbucks near our village lol. If I’m feeling a bit more adventurous I’d head to Katip, which is prrrretty close by but not quite.

Is the nearest restaurant? We have a McDonald’s literally right beside the village. Then besides that is a Shakey’s, and right across that is a Burger King, then the aforementioned neaby Starbucks. Just makes me realize how urbanized my town has gotten in the last few years.

Is the nearest beach? If I had to guess, the nearest beaches would be in Batangas which is 2-3 hours away, but it really depends on how fast you can drive lol. I’m not too good with long car rides so in both times I’ve driven there I had always taken 4 hours.

Did you meet your closest friend? I met Angela in grade school, and I met Andi at a local rally in my university.

Did you go for your last vacation? Tagaytay, though it was a staycation more than anything else.

Is the nearest mall or superstore? It’s like a 3-minute drive away from the village.

Did you last get an injury? I have loadsssssss of new scratches and gashes all around my wrists from playing with Cooper.

Is the most extravagant place you’ve stayed at? It’s a toss-up between Aids’ or Gian’s house. Gian would probably win since I never actually got to go inside Aids’ place, and his was the first house I’ve been to that was able to literally take my breath away. OH and Shaun’s house was pretty fucking swanky as well.

Do most the local kids play? I would have no idea since I’m neither a kid nor a parent.

Have you been with your family? This is a very vague question lol...what do you mean where have we been? We’ve been to different towns around the country and several countries together, if that’s what you’ve been asking.

Did you spend Christmas last year? We visited a couple of relatives, and we also spent it at home.

Did your parents grow up? My mom grew up within Metro Manila; my dad in a city a little outside of it.

Did you buy the shoes you’re wearing? I’m barefoot at the moment and always am at home.

Would you like to go right now if you could? If life had still been normal I would probably be having after-work drinks at a bar near the office.

Do you miss the most from your childhood? I’m not sure how to answer this with where.

Is the best restaurant you know? I’m still searching for it.

Will you never go again as it was so bad? It’s not that it was bad, but I’d probably never dine at 8Cuts again because their burgers are not worth the hype and are very overpriced for their size.

:: When ::

...was your last vacation? My family’s last legit vacation was in August 2019; but we did have a quick escape to Tagaytay in January of this year.

...did you graduate? I officially ‘graduated’ from college in August, if you could even call it that.

...did you decide what career you wanted? Somewhere between my 2nd and 3rd year of college. That was when I decided I hated journalism and preferred PR, but since PR is under journalism’s umbrella there was no need for me to shift courses.

...did you have your first kiss? Continued. Like WHEN when or how old was I when? In any case, it was in January 2015 and I ws 16.

...did you learn how to swim? Idk, pretty early on. My parents liked taking us to water parks when we were younger, so we had a lot of exposure. I’m not sure if there was ever a time where something just clicked and I learned how to swim; I believe it had just come naturally.

...did you have your first relationship? By the end of 2014.

...did you meet your best friend? I met both of them in school, but at different points.

...do you feel the most at peace? Probably when I’m able to stay at the rooftop all alone.

...do you usually fall asleep? I’ve readjusted my body clock now (I used to want to be in bed by 9 or 10 PM, lmao) and I stay up until anywhere between 12-2 AM on weekdays.

...do you usually wake up? Ranges between 6-7:30 AM.

...did you last watch a movie? September.

...did you last go to a party? Around Februaryish, 2020.

...did you last cry? I can’t really recall. The last moment I can remember was crying over Life Goes On sometime last month, when I heard it for the first time. I’m just not sure if that’s accurate or when exactly in April that happened.

...did you laugh really hard? I always have a good laugh at least once a day.

...did you buy something pricey last? Idk what you would count as pricey but I bought the new BTS photobook set when it dropped back in April. Cost me around ₱3750. I wasn’t able to buy from the first press (it sold out in like 7 minutes lol) which included an exclusive poster set, so I had to look for a local shop that was already offering the poster set separately, and ended up shelling out another ₱2200 for it...which means all in all I spent around ₱5950 for it or roughly $125.

...did you have an argument last? Earlier this evening but I don’t want to get into it as it made me cry from sadness and frustration for the first time in months.

...did you last have a sick day? May last year.

...did you last recieve a hug? I have no idea. February, I think? when I hung out with my friends.

...when is your best friend’s birthday? July 22 or September 15, depends on which best friend.

...did you learn how to drive? I started getting lessons when I was 17, but I didn’t start feeling comfortable with it until I turned 18.

...did you last receive a surprise? Around a couple of weeks ago when my dad came home with Jollibee for us.

:: How ::

Many pets do you have? Two.

Many houses have you lived in? Three that I can remember, but I know my parents moved around a bit when I was a newborn.

Often do you shower? Every morning before my shift. I hate feeling sweaty and icky when I report for work.

Well can you cook? I can’t at all.

Many close friends do you have? I have two people I count as my absolute best friends, but I have a handful of close friends as well.

Many Brothers or sisters do you have? One of each.

Often do you go swimming? I don’t swim much at all, really...I haven’t done it since 2019, so that should say enough. As relaxing as it is, I feel like the clean-up afterwards can be such a challenge lol. Like if you swim in a pool you have to rigorously wash the chlorine off of you; and if you swim in the sea you have to also be thorough about making sure you’ve removed all the sand from your body.

Many times have you texted today? I don’t think I texted today but I did spend my whole day on chat platforms.

Do you like your toast (colour, topping)? I don’t have super particular preferences; I just like mine on the burnt side.

Do you like your tea and/or coffee? My coffee has to be sweet for me to enjoy it. I can take black coffee/Americano; I’ll just wince a lot with every sip. No tea for me thanks.

Do you like to celebrate your birthdays? With a lot of food.

Are you feeling today? A little frustrated because of an argument incident this evening. But I’m shaking it off and just focusing on the release of Butter tomorrow. My first BTS comeback!!!

Serious are you about your career goals? Very.

Many rooms are in your house? In total, 9.

Many bedrooms in your house? 4.

Did you do in your school exams? I was never consistent. I slacked off a looooooot in grade school; couldn’t give less of a shit about my classes then. I got a bit more hardworking in high school, but I still was a bit lax and I allowed myself to not put a lot of effort in subjects I didn’t care a lot for and that I know I would never have to use in real life, like chemistry or accounting, so there were exams I really excelled in and others that I would fail. It was only in college I started taking my studies incredibly seriously and I believe that showed in the grades I eventually got.

Close do you live to your parents? They’re like, five steps away.

Close do you live to your siblings? My sister’s literally in the room next to mine.

Sensitive to criticism are you? I know it’s something that can never be avoided, so I’m always open to hearing them, especially if it’s meant to help me. It doesn’t mean I enjoy it as it is being given.

Motivated to make changes are you? Depends on my mood and mindset. 

Creative are you (1-10): -0.5.

Hard working are you (1-10): Probably a 22 if I really put my head into a task.

Sporty are you (1-10): I dunno, maybe a 6? I do like playing table tennis, but I’m pretty meh at any other sport.

Musical are you (1-10): 0.

Do you prefer your eggs? Runny yolk; scrambled; or a really packed omelette.

Often do you go out to eat? Before the pandemic, I liked eating out 2-3 times a week.

Would your best friend describe you? Not sure, I never tried asking them this. I hope it’s all nice things, though.

Can someone cheer you up if you’re sad? Send me photos of V. Hahahaha

Often do you meet up with your friends? ...What do you think? D:

Important is religion to you? It is not a part of my life whatsoever.

Old were you when you first stayed overnight from home? 15 or 16, I can’t really remember.

Old were you when you got your first pet? I was maybe 6.

Tech savvy are you? I know enough to survive my own, but I obviously can’t hack into other computers or things like that.

Do you show you appreciate those you care for? Buying them food.

Often do you cut your hair? I only take a trip to the salon once a year.

Often do you paint your nails? Never.

Many countries have you visited? Six.

Boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? Just one.

:: Why ::

... did you choose your username? Because it was straightforward.

... did you take this survey? I like surveys made in categories, and this seemed interesting and varied enough.

... did you choose the career you did? I found that I enjoyed it MILES more than journalism.

...did you last leave the house? I had to go to a local LBC for a work errand.

...did you last give up on something? She wasn’t worth the effort anymore. She hadn’t been for a while, but it took me forever to realize.

...did you search the last thing you searched? I wanted to sing along to the song but it was in Japanese, so I had to look up its lyrics.

...would you give up on someone completely? Oof, I guess you can refer to one of the previous questions. ^

:: If...::

You could live in any country which would you choose? Canada.

You could choose any animal as a pet which one? I’m perfectly content with dogs.

You could be famous for something what would you like? Being known for a funny tweet would probably be enough lol. I have no desire to be famous.

You are sad, how do you combat it? I don’t really get sad anymore these days, so I can’t super remember the go-to tactics I depend on...I guess I like listening to sad songs and allowing myself to wallow in the sadness, because I know I have to accept and process my feelings first before I can be able to calm down.  

You can drive when did you learn? I learned shortly before I started college, when I was 18, because no one was going to be able to take me to university when the school year started.

You could have any job what would it be? Idk, I like the one I have now.

You could go anywhere for a vacation where would you go? Somewhere with a completely different feel and atmosphere, like Norway, Sweden, Finland...that part of Europe, basically.

You could eat anything right now what would it be? Samgak gimbap :/

You wrote a book what genre/topic would it be? It would be a book of essays or maybe a memoir.

You had a theme song what would it be? Idk I don’t really think about this.

You could meet any band/singer in person which one? Billie Eilish seems awesome and easy and fun to talk to.

You could act in any movie which would it be? No thanks.

You get married what venue would you like? Hotel.

If you have kids do you have names picked out? I have one name picked out for a girl but that’s it.

Could describe your dream home what would it be like? Brutalist and minimalist, with large windows, cove lights, and a lot of white space.

You could go back in time what would you change? Break up with Gab earlier.

Could use 3 words to describe your childhood which ones? Could’ve been better.

Could get the answer to any question which question would you choose? When I would die and how, just so I can have peace of mind.

You could have an endless supply of something what would it be? Money, because of course.

Meet anyone who no longer lives who’d you choose? My great-grandfather, mom’s side.

:: Can ::

... you ride a bike? No, never learned.

... you ski? I’ve never even seen snow, so no.

... you bake a cake? I can try but it will probably be very clumsily made as I don’t bake.

... you sing well? I wouldn’t say that. I like singing when I’m alone, but it doesn’t mean I’m any good.

... you do your own taxes? I’ve never tried haha so I guess not.

... you remain calm in a crisis? Depends on how serious it is.

... you do first aid? Let’s just say I wouldn’t volunteer if it comes down to it because I feel like I’d commit one fatal mistake that would make the situation graver. 

... remember your best friend’s family members’ names? Both of their families, yes.

... you fire a gun? I’ve never tried so I doubt it.

... your parents drive? Yep.

...your best friend dance well? They’re not ‘dancers’ per se but sure, they can bust out a move or two.

...you make people laugh easily? Not everyone, but sure.

...stand up for yourself? That’s what I’m trying to learn these days.

...you do a martial art? No.

:: Would ::

You like to learn a new language? That’s always a welcome opportunity.

Save the life of a stray animal? Absolutely.

Know what to do if there was a hurricane? We have several ones come in the country every year so yeah, I can definitely say we’ve long been well-prepared for them.

Try a new cuisine? I do this as often as I can.

Risk your life for anyone? Yes.

You like to get back in touch with someone? No, I’m good now.

You drive in the middle of the night to get a stuck friend? Ina heartbeat.

You Know how to perform CPR? In relation to the first aid question, I wouldn’t volunteer myself in case I make a wrong move.

You likely win in a game of chess? I don’t even know how it works, so no.

You stop talking for a day for $100? Easily.

[buckthegrump]

I hate you, really hate you

Summary: You’re married and truths about your marriage are about to come to light.

Warnings: cheating, angst, slight fluff

Word Count: 3.6 k+

A/n: this is for @sgtbxckybxrnes​ my prompt was enemies to lovers

“Do you ever do anything other than scowl?” Y/n asked Bucky.

They were in the middle of another one of their arguments. No one was quite sure where the fight had started but it had been going on for at least fifteen minutes, at this point it was probably closer to the twenty-minute mark.

“Do you ever do anything other than talk? All you ever seem to do is run your mouth, it’s like you can’t control it. And don’t even get me started on how much you gossip,” Bucky said.

“Oh, how much I gossip?” She scoffed.

“One of these days,” Bradley stood up and placed his hands on his wife’s shoulders, “you two are going to get along long enough for us to get through a brunch.”

“Can we go?” Y/n turned to her husband and he nodded.

“We will see you all later,” Bradley smiled.

Y/n said her goodbyes and then glared at Bucky while she waited for Bradley to be done. They walked out of the restaurant getting a few glares from the older patrons.

Bucky hadn’t always been apart of the group. He was the most recent member having moved back home after living in London for a few years. Steve swore that he was nice and that everyone would love him, clearly, he’d been wrong.

From the first time they met a few years ago, Bucky and Y/n butted heads. It was never anything serious and their fights, while always loud, never had any real substance. They never said anything truly hurtful to the other.

Bradley opened the car door for Y/n and she got in and huffed and grumbled the whole way home.

“Sweetie, it’s just Bucky. You should really learn to get along with him.” Bradley placed his hand on her knee as he drove home.

“I’ll try baby,” she sighed, “But he just makes it so hard. He has to contradict everything I say.”

“Wasn’t he agreeing with you today?”

Y/n paused because she couldn’t remember but that wasn’t the point. The point was that Bucky annoyed the hell outta her and she would just like one meal where he didn’t speak any and every time that she did.

* * *

She pushed her cart around the grocery store, one of the front wheels was wobbly and it had been the last cart so it was either that or a basket.

Y/n had gotten off work early so she thought she might as well get something done before Bradley got home. She stared at the quarts of ice cream trying to decide which one to get when someone bumped into her.

“Oh I’m so sor-” the familiar voice cut off when she turned and made eye contact with Bucky. “Oh, what are you doing here?”

She glared at him. “People need food to live, Bucky. Are you going to finish that apology?”

“Well, I was but then you opened your mouth and suddenly I feel like the universe is punishing me for coming to the store today.” Bucky looked at her then to the ice cream. “There’s that scowl again.”

“I wasn’t scowling until I was greeted by your face,” she muttered.

Bucky chuckled lightly and opened the freezer and grabbed the last thing of chocolate cookie dough. Y/n bit the inside of her cheek to stop her self from complaining, but that was the exact flavor she was going to get before somebody ran into her.

He put the ice cream in his basket and walked away.

She spent the rest of the shopping trip groaning to herself, mumbling about how much of a dick Bucky was. She was loading up her trunk when she saw Bucky again. 

He stretched out his hands which were holding the ice cream. She gave him a confused look but took the ice cream and he smiled.

“Happy birthday,” was all he said before shoving his hands in his pockets and walked away.

Now she was angry for a completely different reason. She was upset that he was nice to her, and yes it was her birthday and she thought the gesture was cute but couldn’t it have come from anyone else?

After she got home and finished putting away the groceries she started angrily cooking dinner.

Bradley probably would’ve offered to cook but he wasn’t home yet and she really didn’t mind.

* * *

It was almost eight o’clock. She had long finished the meal and plated it and set up the table. The bottle of wine that she’d chilled for dinner was half gone.

She chuckled to herself darkly and ate by herself before tossing his plate. She grabbed her iPad form the counter and sat down on the couch. It didn’t take her long to realize that she’d actually grabbed Bradley’s iPad, not that it mattered much she was only going to use it to watch something before going to bed.

But it was hard to focus on the movie when notifications for messages kept coming in. With the intention to turn the conversation on silent before she continued her show, she clicked on the messages.

* * *

A few weeks after her birthday it was time for their monthly brunch. Carol, Maria, Sam, Steve, and Bucky were all in the lobby of the restaurant when Y/n got there with Bradley.

They all greeted each other, except Bucky stood off to the side and stared at Y/n. Almost as if he was trying to figure something out about her.  She really didn’t want to get into it with him so she left it alone.

There was a spot open in front of her because there las still one person missing. Bucky and Maria were on either side of the open seat, while Bradley was on Y/n’s left side talking to Carol, and Sam was on her other side talking to Steve. Bucky was still silent but no one was talking about that.

“Hey, you guys,” Bryanna greeted and took the open seat. “Sorry I missed last month, I was really busy with something.”

“Oh my god, don’t worry about it,” Y/n smiled at her, “We’re just really glad that you’re here.”

Their server came over and took everyone’s orders and once that was done they began catching up with Bryanna.

Y/n was smiling and nodding at what Bryanna was saying, but she had also gone through a few mimosas pretty quickly and was starting to feel brave.

“Also, I have news,” Bryanna took a deep breath with the biggest smile she could manage on her face, “I’m pregnant.”

There was a brief moment a silence before everyone started congratulating her. Y/n sat there in a state of shock. Her eyes drifted to Bucky who tilted his head at her silently asking if she was ok. Y/n only smiled at him not giving him any real answer.

“Do we know who the father is or is this an I don’t need a man to follow my dreams kind of deal?” Carol asked.

“It was kind of an accident but I’m happy about it,” Bryanna still had a big smile on her face.

Everyone continued to bombard her with questions. Like who was the father? What were her plans? Who were the godparents going to be? 

Bryanna gave little to no answers before she said, “Ok, let’s not make this entire brunch about me. Please?”

“I have one question,” Y/n spoke for the first time since Bryanna’s news.

“If you’re going to ask if you can be the godmother my answer is -”

“How long have you been sleeping with my husband?” Y/n cut her off.

The table went dead silent. Bryanna stared at her with wide eyes, she briefly glanced at Bradley. But Y/n didn’t take her eyes off Bryanna once.

“Wh-wh-what. . .What are you talking about?” Bryanna half chuckled.

Y/n sat forward in her chair and braced her weight on the table. “How long have you been sleeping with my husband?”

Everyone’s eyes were bouncing between Bradley, Bryanna, and Y/n.

“Because if I’m doing my math right, I would say about,” Y/n sucked on her teeth while she pretended to think, “I’d say about a year maybe two. With my luck it’s probably been two, right? Which bravo to you two for keeping me in the dark for that long. Ya know what? I lied. I don’t have just one question. I have one more. What fuck? Both of you. It’d be one thing you didn’t know that I existed but you were a bridesmaid at my wedding Bry.”

Y/n reached into her purse and pulled out a manilla envelope and handed it to Bradley. “I hope you two are very happy together.”

* * *

She didn’t know what she expected. But it sure as shit wasn’t this. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she’d hoped that Bradley would come after her and beg to talk to her so he could apologize.

But here shew as hours after she’d stormed out of brunch, the sun was setting and there was still no sign of him.

It wasn’t like she was going to take him back. She meant it when she’d handed him the divorce papers. But she’d be lying if she said that she felt fine with the fact that he hadn’t even tried to chase after her.

“Y/n!” Bradley’s voice boomed from the other side of the door while he pounded his hand against the wood. “Open the door!”

She smiled to herself as she drank more of her wine, she hadn’t bother with a glass tonight. She had the locks changed yesterday. Y/n had almost decided to do all of this quietly but when Bryanna showed up at brunch she knew she wouldn’t be able to hold back the part of her that needed to be dramatic. And it saved her the trouble of having to tell her friends.

“You can’t just serve me divorce papers and change the locks!” He yelled. It had been a while since she heard him yell at anyone. 

Giving in she walked over to the door and reached for the lock.

“You don’t have to be such a bitch about it,” he said in a lower voice. Clearly, he wasn’t expecting her to be standing close enough to the door to be able to hear what he was saying.

“What the fuck did you just say?” A new voice asked. It was the very last person on earth that Y/n ever expected. “She has made it very clear that she does not want to talk to you. So why don’t you go ahead and run along now and leave her alone.”

“Are you sleeping with her?” Bradley demanded.

“You have no right to ask me that, you lost that right when you crawled into bed with someone else. Now get out of my face,” Bucky said.

The door of a car slammed shut and there was a soft knock at the door.

“Y/n?” Bucky’s voice calmly asked. “Listen, you don’t have to open the door or let me in or anything. Can you just let me know if you’re alive? I need to know if you’re ok.”

Y/n only thought about it for a split second before opening the door. She looked at Bucky who’s eyebrows were furrowed. They were both surprised by her actions and to further the shock, she stepped aside so he could enter.

He walked in and looked around.

“You know I’ve never actually bee in here before,” he said off-handedly. He turned around and took in her appearance. It was at that moment she realized what she looked like. Her face was probably puffy from the tears from earlier in the day, her old gray sweat pants had stains from lord knows what, and her shirt was thinning and had so many holes it no longer counted as a shirt. “How are you?”

She chuckled. “I’m fine,” she said but then a sob broke through and she began to cry, again. “Except I’m not. I really thought he was the one ya know? He was one of the first people who ever looked at me and found me interesting and on top of that, he found me attractive. And this is gonna sound so dumb but there’s no guarantee that I’ll find that again.”

“Y/n -” Bucky said softly but was cut off.

“That’s not even the worst part.” She took a shaky breath and continued. “The worst part is I know when and why this happened. And it’s my fault.”

“No -”

“But it is Bucky. We’d been trying for a child for a while and it wasn’t going well, and I think that’s part of the reason I was so mean to you when we first met. Which isn’t a valid reason and I do apologize for that. But just before you got here we went to the doctor to find out what was wrong. And it turns out it’s me. I was what was wrong with the whole thing. We continued to try because the doctor said it wasn’t impossible, and we wanted to wait and see if we could get a miracle before paying thousands and thousands of dollars for a procedure.

“So I guess he went and found himself someone who could give him what he wanted,” she laughed humorlessly.

Bucky walked so he was standing right in front of her and cupped her cheeks with his hands. They were warm and soft and she wanted nothing more than to melt into his touch. He wiped a tear away with his thumb.

“That’s bullshit, all of this, is his fault. And Bryanna’s. No one else’s, least of all yours. He broke his vows and your trust. Even if he has fallen out of love with you, he should have had the decency to talk to you about it before he went off and found someone else, but I don’t see how anyone could. And the whole being mean to me? Sam is always telling me I have a big head anyway and need to be knocked down a few pegs,” he said. She laughed softly at the last part which made Bucky smile.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“Of course.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way. But why are you here? I thought you hated me.”

Bucky scoffed. “The past year would’ve been a lot easier if I had, but I can’t. I’ve tried.”

He smiled and dropped his hands. His mouth hung open as he stepped away. Y/n watched him shocked as he walked out of her house.

“What?”

* * *

Maria and Carol sat on Y/n’s couch while Y/n was pacing in front of it. Monica was sitting on the floor in front of the couch watching Y/n.

“So you’re over your ex-husband already?” Carol asked. “Honestly, we should kill him.”

“Aunt Carol, murdering people isn’t very nice,” Monica said.

“Neither is cheating,” Carol grumbled.

“I don’t think Y/n wants to talk about Bradley,” Maria said.

“Who even goes by ‘Bradley’?” Y/n continued pacing. “That should’ve been the first red flag. And then he shows up here and has the audacity to call me a bitch when he’s the one acting like a bitch -”

“He said what now?” Carol asked.

“And then Bucky shows up and -” en lieu of finishing her sentence Y/n lets out a frustrated groan.

“What does Bucky have to do with any of this?” Maria asked.

Y/n then recounted the events the took place last week after brunch. When she was done she flopped into the armchair next to the couch. 

“I mean it makes sense,” Monica said and all the adults turned to her.

“Care to explain?” Carol asked.

“Uncle Bucky is in love with Aunt Y/n,” Monica said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“And who exactly told you that?” Carol asked.

“Bucky did, like last year.” Monica shrugged and walked off to the bathroom without another word.

“That rat bastard,” Y/n muttered and got out of the chair.

“Y/n where are you going?” Carol called after her as she walked out of her own house.

“Do we stay or go?” Maria asked and Carol shrugged.

* * *

Y/n paced the hall in front of apartment 9D. She stopped walking to pound her open palm against the door, relentlessly until it opened.

“Y/n,” Bucky said when he saw her, “What are you -?

“Are you out of your mind?” She asked as she pushed past him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said and shut the door.

“You - I - this - but -”

“That doesn’t help me understand what you’re very clearly angry about.”

“You act like you hate me for years. And then you buy me ice cream on my birthday, fun fact, also the day I finally put together that my husband was cheating on me -”

“What?”

“I am not done, Barnes,” Y/n snapped. “Then you show up right when I needed you last week, but it doesn’t stop there. Because then you go on to tell me all these sweet things that are somehow exactly what I needed to hear.”

Bucky opens his mouth again but snaps it closed again.

“And then I hear from Monica, little Monica, that you are in love with me?” She gestured vaguely around her with her jaw slack. “What the fuck kind of bullshit?”

“What would you have had me do? When I first saw you, I knew that you were exactly the kind of person I could fall in love with. And then I find out you’re already married. So I thought that if I brushed you off that you would ignore me and then once I got over my infatuation then I could become friends with you -”

“That sounds like a load of -”

“I’m not done,” he mirrored her words and she stopped talking, “But then you confronted me about it. And then we started fighting all the time. Instead of me realizing that I could never love someone like you my dumbass goes and does the opposite. It really didn’t take me long to realize I was madly in love with you. But you were married and happily so, or so it appeared.

“And then Monica asked me what was wrong one day and I told her and she said ‘well, you’re fucked aren’t you’. Which is exactly what I needed to hear from a child,” he took a deep breath, “So, yes. I’m in love with you. But I never expected anything to happen and I still don’t. But I don’t hate you, I never did.”

Y/n stood there staring at him and she realized something. She and Bradley haven’t worked for a while, and she hadn’t been in love with him for a while.

“I’m sorry if that’s not what you wanted to hear,” Bucky said.

“I just -” she made eye contact with him, “I should go.”

* * *

It didn’t take long for Bradley to agree to sign the divorce papers. After it was finalized Y/n was sad for a short while before Carol told her that she could be sad or she could go out and slut it up. And she did a version of that, she started going on dates.

It had been a few months until she realized that she hated dating. The whole thing was a dance that she no longer found fun, and even though she just got out of a long term relationship she missed it. The problem was she knew who she wanted to be with.

She hadn’t seen him recently, he hadn’t been showing up to the brunches nor the game nights that Maria had started hosting. So Y/n went to him.

She knocked at his door late at night, too late because when he opened the door, he looked like he’d been in the middle of sleeping.

“Shit,” she looked down at her phone and saw the time, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that was the time I’ll come back later.

“No, it’s fine I’m already awake,” he mumbled and walked further into his apartment leaving the door open behind him.

Y/n followed him and closed the door behind him. She rocked back on her heels unsure of how to start.

“Is there a reason that you woke me up in the middle of the night? Or did you just want to stand in the middle of my entryway?” Bucky asked.

“You’ve been ignoring me,” not exactly what she’d planned on saying.

“Well, I confess my love for you, and then you walk away which is fine you’d just found out that your husband had been cheating on you. But then a month later you start dating pretty much everything with a heartbeat -”

“Are you judging me for getting of Bradley?” She scoffed.

“No, I’m pissed because you never said anything else to me about what I said to you that night. You just ignore me and run off doing whatever with whoever. And that hurt, Y/n. I wish you would’ve just told me that you don’t feel the same then I could’ve -”

“And what if I do?” She cut him off.

“What?” He breathed.

“I think I’ve known for a while now but I was married and then I had to make sure that I wasn’t just running into the arms of the first man who said that he loved me. I thought I would need more time but I don’t want anyone else.”

A ghost of a smile appeared on Bucky’s face. “So what now?”

She took a few steps towards him. “What do you want to do?”

“I would like to take you out on a date,” he said.

“I like the sound of that,” she said with a smile.