#but other times i get to research some topics that i may never have considered looking into

[literaryvein-reblogs]

let me just say that your blogs are a lifesaver. i appreciate every single post you make, and it's helped me so much in how to guide my writing, expanding my vocabulary, and double-checking everything makes sense. thank you.

This is so lovely to know <3 Thank you for taking the time to tell me. I learn a lot from these references as well!

[eetherealgoddess]

Hihi

Could you do a fic where reader is like a driver 4 bonten and something comes up so she has to like pick (u cld do all or chose one it doesn't matter) them up then some smut, noncon and fem reader.

Thx in advance if you'll write this, I've been searching for a writer that does noncon🥲

Hope you enjoy this! Also hope you don’t mind about a little mxm between the men in it! Also dark ending!!

Also I’m thinking of making an au where the guys are poly with each other and the reader is added to it or walks in on it or something idk yet but lmk in the comments or requests what you think about that.

ꨄBonten’s Propertyꨄ

Part Two

Oneshot - Yandere Bonten Au

❦You pick up your boss and fellow executives from the club❦

Sano Manjiro, Hanemiya Kazutora, Sanzu Haruchiyo, & Haitani Brothers x Reader

Not fully proofread

MY TR FANDOM WORKS ARE ONLY ON TUMBLR, AO3, AND WATTPAD UNDER EETHEREALGODDESS! REPORT IF YOU SEE IT POSTED UNDER ANYONE ELSE BUT ME!!!

I apologize if I get any Japanese etiquette or culture wrong, I literally have to research the culture for some of my fandom stories so if anything is wrong, please excuse my ignorance.

Notice:

✩Y/n is 18+. I picture her as a black female but you can see her however.

✩Some parts of the story may not be realistic or factual. After all, this is a work of fiction.

✩Although it's a dark 'romance,' I do not condone any of the behavior displayed.

✩Dark content such as: gore, violence, triggering topics, graphic scenes, vulgar language, explicit sexual content, etc.

✩There may be scenes that involve non con and/ or dubcon so don’t read if that makes you uncomfortable

✩That being said, this story is for 18+ only.

Enjoy!

Bonten’s Property

“Why do I have to pick them up from the club?” You whine, giving Kokonoi a disturbed look as you stare at his sitting figure, focusing on the laptop in front of him.

“You were specifically requested tonight.” He continues to type as you roll your eyes.

“Yeah, but not by our boss. All the guys are gonna do is terrorize me while I’m trying to drive.” You cross your arms as you rest on one leg, hip poking out as you shake your head.

“Boss is with them currently so I assume he relayed the message.” You groan. “You better get going so you don’t anger him.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know Koko.” You finally walk away, snatching the keys as you make your way out of the shared penthouse, heading to the car and unlocking the door before hopping in.

You’re not usually one to pick up the men from the club considering how wild they get, usually only Kakucho or Takeomi could handle the ride, though when you do, you’re usually efficient. Even when Sanzu messes with the wheel or Kazutora tickles your neck to distract you. Even when Ran blows smoke in your face or when Rin pours alcohol on you. Mikey’s not with them usually, so you have no idea how that’s going to be, hopefully he stays a little professional considering you’ve never seen him drunk or high.

Worse comes to worse you can use the partition to divide the front seats from the back which is what you’ve done before. Still, who wants to drive a bunch of drunk or high idiots around? Hopefully they’re not too rowdy, they’ve never been bad enough to prevent you from driving all of you home at a good time. You sigh as you pull up in front of the large club, nodding at the security guard to signal your arrival for Bonten. He nods back before walking into the doors.

You scroll on your phone, waiting for what felt like an hour before you heard the car’s doors opening. Laughter and slurred speech could be heard as the men entered the car, your body tensing into professionalism when you see your boss through the rearview mirror enter, tightening your grip on the wheel. Sanzu sits in the passenger seat with a pink face, eyeing you before smirking. You ignore him as you double check that everyone is situated before driving off.

You ignore their conversations, Kazutora, Sanzu, and the Haitani brothers conversing about the women, drugs, and alcohol all the while Mikey eyes the window a dazed look on his expression as well as a warm face. One of your eyebrows raise as you find humor in your boss's look, unknown to whether he was high or drunk though definitely not sober. You continue the drive peacefully in your own zone as you eye the dark road.

“Y/n, why didn’t you come to party?” Kazutora questions with a smile.

“I don’t ‘party’ like you guys.”

“I think we should’ve hired you as a stripper rather than an executive.” Ran says, his eyes slightly narrowing as he smirks in your direction.

“Yeah, I would’ve paid to see you on stage any day.” Rin adds as he eyes your expression from the side.

Of course, you made a mistake in thinking that they might not fuck with you during this ride considering their boss is here. You ignore their remarks as you continue to drive. Your grip clenches around the wheel once more when you feel a poke against your side.

“Heyy! You’re being spoken to.” Sanzu says as he glares at you.

“Yeah don’t ignore us!” Kazutora whines playfully, poking you until you flinch, using one of your hands to swatt him away. You grit your teeth as you feel a cold liquid running down your thigh, glancing over to see Rin pouring his bottle once more as he chuckles and Ran smiles wider, finding humor in torturing you.

“Goddamnit!” You hiss as you snatch the open bottle and throw it out of the window.

“Awe you’re no fun.” Rin frowns, leaning back into his seat with crossed arms. Ran passes the recently lit blunt you hadn’t even noticed to Sanzu who breathed in a huge wad of smoke just to blow it in your face, slightly blocking your vision as you wave it away.

You continue to ignore them considering what they want is a response, so you drive down the road. You don’t notice the way your boss eyes the situation with amusement as well as staring at you through the mirror, warmth from the drug Sanzu gave him invading all of his senses as his face turns darker, heavy eyes shifting around the car.

“Want some, boss?” Kazutora questions Mikey, handing him the blunt as he takes it from him, breathing in a huge hit before blowing it out slowly. They all praise their boss as he relaxes in his seat. You slightly chuckle before focusing your attention back on the road. You just couldn’t help but find humor in your boss’s laid back behavior for once.

“Here.” He leans over to hand it to you, though you only glance at the flower.

“Oh boss, you can keep it, I don’t smoke.” Honestly, you’re lying because you like smoking. You just don’t want to be high around them or behind the wheel.

“Take it.”

“I can’t smoke behind the wheel.” You say sheepishly.

“Pull over.” Your eyes widen. What the hell?

“B-boss, that’s not necessary.”

“Are you defying the King?” Sanzu growls, narrowing his eyes.

“What? N-no, I just…”

“Then why aren’t you listening?” Kazutora questions.

“Boss clearly gave you an order.” Rin says as his brother eyes you.

All of this over a fucking blunt? What's gotten into them?

“Boss, I’m not disrespecting you, I just thought you wanted to get home! I can smoke in the penthouse if anything.”

“Pull over, now.” You didn’t hesitate to find an empty spot to pull over in, parking the car once you reached it with a shaky hand.

This is so weird.

You take the blunt from Mikey’s hand and put it to your lips, inhaling a little before blowing out.

“More.” You look at your boss from the rearview mirror with confusion.

“I still have to drive, I don’t think I should smoke…”

The barrel of a gun to your head causes you to quiet down, eyeing Sanzu who’s holding the weapon.

“What was that?” Ran teases. “Could you repeat what you just said?”

You glare at them before setting it back to your lips, inhaling deeply before you blow out a huge cloud of smoke, tears forming in your eyes as the burning sensation overtakes your throat.

I don’t understand why they’re making such a big deal out of this.

“Since you can’t drive you should sit in the back seat.” Kazutora says with a fake concerned expression.

“I was ordered to be the driver so I’ll be okay. None of you can drive, anyway.”

“No, it’s alright. Come here.” Following your boss’s order, you reluctantly open the door, hopping out of the driver's seat before opening the back door, blunt still in hand.

You couldn’t help but feel embarrassment as you climb in, feeling the intense gazes as you settle into your seat squished in between Mikey and Kazutora who don’t bother to move over, the Haitani brothers having already shifted to the empty seats across from you as well as Sanzu who sits beside the siblings, gun hidden. You squirm awkwardly into your seat as you inhale the leaf once more. Holding the smoke in as a hand on your chin forces you to turn to your right.

“Blow into my mouth.” You try to move your head from Kazutora’s hand, the burning sensation catching up to you, forcing you to blow in his direction, his mouth slightly open as he sucks in the air, his lips barely grazing yours.

This is definitely too intimate. What drugs did they take because marijuana doesn’t do this.

The air feels suffocating as warmth builds, gazes becoming heated as your eyebrows furrow. Suddenly, the hand on your chin moves to the back of your head as your lips are forced to meet with Kazutora’s. Your eyes widen as your hands immediately push against his chest, his hold stronger as he keeps you in place, golden eyes staring into your orbs. Biting his lip only caused a moan from him as he leaned into you, the metallic taste mixing in with mary jane and alcohol.

When he finally releases you, because you were still shoving away from him, you accidentally land on your boss’s chest. Immediate fear causes you to sit up, though you were stopped by arms wrapping around your waist, your head resting against his shoulder, positioned in between the leg that's propped on the seat and the other one on the ground as he leans against the door. Kazutora grabs the blunt from you as he takes a hit from it.

“B-boss?” You question as his hands slowly roam up your blouse, your face heated as the warmth of his hands rests on your breasts that are covered by your bra. “W-wait! Mi- boss! Stop!”

“Are you telling me what to do?” His breath causes tingles down your neck as his lips meet your ear.

“Two times in a row, not a good look for you, Y/n.” Ran says, ignoring his erection under his pants.

“Wait, I just need some air or something! I need to be okay to drive!” Your chest rises and falls as Mikey squeezes your breasts, your hands grabbing his wrists to pull them off though his strength is firm, even when intoxicated.

“You’re not being a very good executive, Y/n. So disobedient.” Rin taunts before he grabs one of your ankles, removing your shoe as well as Kazutora doing the same with your other after handing Ran the wood. You attempt to pull your legs back, forgetting how you are the weakest amongst these men. Sanzu moves to the floor board next to the upper half of your body as Ran moves to the lower, unbuckling your pants as you struggle against Mikey’s hold, blunt in his lips.

“Y-yeah I’m telling all of you to stop! This isn’t profession-!” You’re cut off by Sanzu’s lips, his hand cupping your face as Mikey’s tongue slithers against your ear. Saliva falls down your chin as your hand reaches to push against Sanzu’s chest while the Haitani brothers and Kazutora pull down your pants, revealing your panties. Your eyes become wider as you start kicking your legs, whimpering against Sanzu’s mouth as you try to break free only for Kazutora and Rin to hold your legs apart as Ran uses a finger to trail down your slit through the fabric before he hands the leaf to his brother.

One of Sanzu’s hands pulls your blouse over your chest before he moves back to pull it off, Mikey helping in the process as he holds your arms still.

“Guys! You’re too intoxicated! St-stop, now!”

Rin’s lips trail down your leg, rubbing your thigh in the process while the blunt lies in between his index and middle finger. Kazutora mimics, though removing your sock before he licks your foot, a tingling sensation going up your spine.

“I’ve wanted to do this for so long.” Mikey whispers against your ear, unclipping your bra before he forces it off of you, of course you make it harder by preventing the handles from being removed from your arms. He tears them, throwing your bra to the side as one of his arms circle around your waist while the other hand reaches your nipple. Sanzu grabs the other mound in his hand before he lowers his head, eyeing you through heavy lids, his lips circling around your nub as you frantically try to move.

Ran lowers his head as he uses a finger to move your panties to the side.

“As pretty as I’d thought it’d be.” He says before he uses both hands to pull them down, Rin grabs them as he throws them to the side before handing Sanzu the blunt. Ran analyzes your pussy with a sly smile, using a finger to gather the slight slick that’s formed before sucking his finger and releasing a quiet moan.

“Stop touching me!” You exclaim, everything becoming overwhelming as your boss and coworkers roam your body, Sanzu pulling your nipple as he takes another hit.

“Relax.” He says before placing it against your lips. You move your head away before he roughly grabs your chin and forces you to face him.

“Smoke it.” He demands. You blatantly shake your head.

“No! No more of that or any of this!” You hiss as you move up once more, only for you to let out a high pitched scream of pain once Sanzu places the burning wood against your arm. Tears fall from the pain as your face becomes hot. Your other hand grips the arm that was just burnt. You shakily wipe away the residue ash left on your skin.

“Say that again.” He says before placing the blunt against your mouth. You inhale before holding it in and blowing out once more. He wipes the sweat off your forehead as he keeps it against your mouth, you having to inhale more before breathing the smoke out again, mellowing out although your heart continues to race.

Your body jolts as you feel a wet muscle slithering against your clit. Ran’s tongue flicks your nub before his lips close around, sucking as he slightly bobs his head. Kazutora sucks his fingers before sliding his hand down, bending over as he uses two fingers to ease into your wet pussy. Your hole clenches around his fingers as your hips twitch, biting your lip as you hold back from releasing any sound as your eyes shut tightly.

Suddenly, hands grab your hips as you're pushed up, legs hovering over your head as your body is bent. The wetness moves to your ass as his tongue glides against your anus.

“Hah! Not there! Stop it, please!” Tears fall in humiliation as he eats you out, Rin positioning himself to eat your pussy as Kazutora angles his fingers, gliding in and out slowly as he holds pressure to your g-spot before pulling out again, watching your pussy contract intensely. A tongue runs along your clit repeatedly flicking the nub before he sucks it. Sanzu and Mikey hold up your legs as they kiss and lick your neck before leaving hickeys and pinching the skin between their teeth, Mikey handing Sanzu the roach before he throws it out of the cracked window, returning his hand to your nipple.

As Kazutora accelerates his fingers, your hips slightly meet his hand as the brothers eat you out, your eyes rolling into the back of your head with your mouth slightly ajar, head falling back on Mikey’s shoulder.

“Ran.”

“Yes boss?”

“Pull out my cock.” He complies, pulling Mikey’s sweats down as well as his underwear, revealing his hard girth. You tense once you feel his head against your ass.

“W-wait, Mikey there’s no lube. Please don’t!”

“My King, I can help.” He says with a dazed look.

Mikey eyes him for a second before he nods his head, Sanzu and Ran switching placements as Ran settles next to her upper body and Sanzu moves to Mikey’s throbbing cock. A groan leaves Mikey’s lips, brushing against your ear as Sanzu lowers his head, lips circling around Mikey’s tip before shoving his cock deep within his throat.

You feel your boss’s hips jerk as his head falls back against the car’s window. Another moan leaves his mouth as you hear the mixture of saliva and precum combining as Sanzu pulls his head back and forth steadily, making sure to wet his king’s cock to the fullest.

“Knew he’d be eager to suck Mikey’s cock.” Rin whispers against your pussy as Kazutora and Ran chuckle at his statement. Sanzu pulls his head back and uses his hand to angle Mikey’s cock against your anus. Your body is forced to drop on his thick cock, tears escaping as the pain shoots up your back.

“Fuck!” You cry out, “Take it out! Take it out, you fucking assholes!” Kazutora removes his fingers as Rin pulls back, sitting in their seats as they pull out their own hard cocks, using spit to rub themselves off. Once Mikey’s cock was stuffed all the way into your ass, he held it there as he basked in your warmth. Sanzu hovers over you as he uses his own spit to wet himself. You jolt when his head meets your pussy lips.

Your hands grip Sanzu’s shoulders as he eases into your pussy, fortunately the juice that was already there makes it less painful, though your hole clenched around his girth as you're full from both sides.

“Relax your muscles.” Ran whispers in your ear as his own hand wraps around his cock, while the other caresses your head.

“I can’t! It hurts!” You exclaim as your eyes shut tightly. Your head falls back once more, Ran leaving a kiss along your jaw.

“Yes you can. Just breathe.” You had no choice but to comply as you tried to get through the pain, breathing heavily as Sanzu and Mikey began to move slowly. A drawn out moan escapes Sanzu as the pressure from Mikey’s cock could be felt through your walls, causing extra friction.

Time passed and their hips began to accelerate, the car filling with five men’s moans as all of them thrust their hips, pulsating cocks engulfed in warmth. Sanzu’s cock, angled to hit your g-spot, causes an intense pleasure that contrasts with the lingering pain from Mikey’s cock stretching your ass. The agony numbing out as you begin to fill a pleasurable fullness as your body rocks up and down, nails piercing through Sanzu’s fabric. You grunt as your ass clenches around Mikey’s cock, barely holding back a moan as the friction causes you to near your orgasm.

“Tell me how good it feels.” Mikey hissed against your ear, hand reaching around your throat as he slams his hips against your ass, speeding up.

“It doesn’t!” You cry out. “I-it feels terrible! Get out of me!” A loud moan accidentally leaves your mouth when Sanzu’s pace becomes faster, ambushing your g-spot repeatedly. A sharp pinch against your nipple causes you to yelp.

“Lie again.” Mikey growls, “Tell me the truth or I’ll blow your brains out as soon as I cum.”

“Fuck, this is so hot.” Kazutora hissed as his head falls back, rubbing his cock violently as his erection pulsates in his grip. Rin bites his own lip as he thrusts his hand, rubbing a thumb over his slit as he watches the display.

“Come on, angel. Be good for us, yeah?” Ran breathlessly says as he brings himself closer, hand gripping your head as he ruts against his other hand.

Your body convulses, warmth overcoming your abdomen as your hips grind hard against the two cocks, head back as your mouth hangs open with a silent scream.

“F-fuck! I’m… ah! Cumming!”

“Shit!” Rin hissed as his hand moves faster, your voice turning all of them on as they continue to work for their own orgasm.

You cry out from Mikey and Sanzu continuing their assault, thrusts becoming sloppier as they cause you to overstimulate, your hips frantically grinding back as the feeling becomes all too overwhelming, nose scrunching as your nails scratch Sanzu.

“Say it now! Tell us how good it feels to be full of our cocks! Right now, Y/n!” Sanzu growls, pink hue covering his face as he gazes into your eyes with a lustful, crazed glare.

“Feels good! S’ fucking good, hah! I’m gonna… I’m gonna cum again!”

In reality, post nut clarity will definitely come soon considering how violated you truly feel, though the feeling of being so full and your g-spot being abused causes your body to react, pussy contracting as you’re brought to your second orgasm, the men following along right after as they all release their loads.

You feel Sanzu and Mikey’s cum shoot deeply inside of you, so much coming out as some of the liquid spills out of your ass and pussy.

“Y-you all violated me.” You growl in anger as tears spill from your eyes, cocks pulling out of you causing you to grunt from the residue pain.

“You liked it.” Kazutora frowns as your vision becomes blurry.

“You should rest. Sounds like the weed is getting to your head.” Rin snorts.

Before you could prevent it, your eyes fluttered shut, darkness engulfing you into a deep sleep.

The next day, the men sat in the meeting room, awaiting your arrival. When you didn’t show up, Kakucho went to check your room, only to find you balled up in the blankets on your bed, hiding your whole body.

“Y/n?”

When you didn’t answer, he walked out of the room back towards the meeting to relay the message. The meeting continued without you. When it was over, Kazutora visited your room.

“Y/n? Why are you acting like this?” He says as he sits on the bed next to your figure. His eyebrow raises when his hand reaches your form, squeezing it before he stands up and snatches the blankets back, revealing an empty space.

“Shit!” He hissed in anger.

Two years pass and you just got out of your therapy appointment, walking to your car before you hopped in and drove to your apartment. You knew that the only way you could leave Bonten was by death or running away. So you decided to make a new life for yourself in a different country, far away from Japan.

You knew the job was toxic anyway but you didn’t know that you’d be violated sexually. You’re in a better head space, though you do have moments where you can feel the hands all over you, not scrubbing your body hard enough as your skin raws. Your new boyfriend, along with your friends and therapist have helped you grow positively as you slowly let your past go.

Entering your apartment, you expect to see your boyfriend in the living room on video games, not his limbs detached from his torso, or head decapitated as it’s rolled in between someone’s feet. Nor did you expect to see blood all over your carpet as well as the frames and paintings broken, thrown off the walls, glass shards everywhere. Your trembling hand covers your mouth as you eye the five men you never wanted to see again, staring at you with cold stoic expressions, worse than any angry look you could’ve ever received.

Hyperventilating, you turn on your heel to run back out your front door, only to run into Takeomi’s chest.

“No, no, no! Let me out, Takeomi! You don’t know what they did to me!” Your fists hit his back as he swings you over his shoulder.

“Oh I know. Now they’re pussy whipped and can’t get over you. Not even boss. You’re lucky you’re not gonna be killed, but there’s no way we’re letting you out of our sight again. Consider yourself, Bonten’s property.” He says as he walks to the car.

You continue struggling in his grip as tears leave from your eyes, crying out in anger and devastation over your boyfriend’s gruesome death. The life you created for yourself being torn from your grasp as another thing important is snatched away. You mourn your lost freedom as well as what’s to come.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Long Snake Moan 5

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Loki

Summary: your boss gives you a task you’re not prepared for.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

He’s still there when you return to your desk. Just like the ring on your finger, Loki is immoveable. Your knuckle hurts from trying to yank it off.

You sit at your desk and try to ignore him as he stares from one of the acrylic chairs across from you. They’re rarely used, more so for the illusion of accommodation than anything. 

His gaze casts a blazing heat over you. Your focus is fractured by his unyielding observation. He hums, a taunting tune, as you type and pretend to be alright. You’re not. You’re far from it. 

That sinking doom is muddled in a sludge of disbelief. You just can’t accept this is real and yet hat pit in your chest assures you otherwise. How did he do this? Thor always says his brother is a trickster and you know well of Loki’s unsavoury past, as most New Yorkers would, and yet, this is nothing you could ever predict. 

“What is it you mortals call it?” He speaks at last, jarring you from your troubled trance. “A honeymoon? Would you like to go away, darling? I know this place on the other side of the moon. Your moon, that is... it’s not too derelict and the sky is rather romantic--” 

“Stop,” you splay your fingers over the keyboard. “I’m working.” 

“Mm, yes, you’ve some time to go...” he checks the watch on his wrist. “What are we at? Less than two hours. I must admit, I am counting the minutes.” 

You stand and take a deep breath, “I need a tea.” 

You twist on your heel and march away. You doubt caffeine is going to help your nerves. It’s more that the flavour is familiar enough to offer some shred of comfort.  

As you enter the breakroom, he’s already there. You hate that. How does he do that? You glance over your shoulder then turn back to the room. 

“What is it you prefer?” He peruses the selection of pods. “Mm, pumpkin spice?” He takes a pod and sniffs it, “smells less than appetizing.” 

“I can do it myself,” you approach him and reach for the box of oolong pods. He catches your hand and runs his thumb decisively over the large emerald. You wince as he keeps hold of you. 

“Darling, I am your husband. Allow me to show you the advantage of this union--” 

“I know why you did it. You get to stay. I never wanted you gone, I only delivered the message. You don’t have to do this. If you want to stay, I’ll lie but this is... it isn’t necessary.” You tug but cannot free yourself of his snare. 

“While that may suffice, I don’t have much faith in your skills of deception. I have considered all facets of this plan and we must prove this union to be genuine, thus we may as well commit--” 

“Loki,” you hiss and his brow arches. “Prince, whatever, this is strange. In your research did you not figure out that ‘mortals’ as you call us get to know each other first?” 

“Not always. Not for the majority of your history. There are some rather entertaining scenes along the way. Some I had the pleasure of witnessing myself,” he snickers. “An arranged marriage is not unheard of, even presently in some regions. I could not wait to charm you but I can more than make up for that.” 

“Charm me? You couldn’t even ask me? Talk to me?” 

“We are speaking now. We are working through our first marital hurdle. Together,” his grin assures you that he is being less than authentic. This is a game to him. “Allow me to prepare your tea, wife. You are hard at work.” 

You scrunch up your nose in frustration and he lets you go as you pull away, “why me??” 

His lashes flick up and down as his lips curve deeper, “when you say my name, I imagine you moaning it, and it doesn’t sound so bad.” 

You gurgle. Your stomach knots and tugs. Something inside you plucks. You step back and hug yourself, as if hiding from him. 

“Uh, I...” you look away and shake your head. “You’re right. I’m working so I would appreciate the tea. Thank you. Just milk, if you don’t mind. Please. Er.” You wobble around on your heels. The slither of his voice sticks in your ears and you smell smoke. What is happening? 

You go back to your desk and sit heavily. You stare at the screen as it hazes to a medley of colours. The font obscures in your distant vision and fold your hands on the edge of your desk. 

This is very strange. This is hard to swallow. It’s not what you had planned for today. Or really ever. Not just marrying Loki but anyone. You’re perfectly happy alone. You’ve built a small life for yourself. It’s not that bad. You like the routine and the simplicity and now he’s gone and messed it all up. 

“Darling,” he purrs as he appears with your tea, jarring you from your gloom.  

You sit back and bite down on your tongue. He sets the cup on your coaster, coming close enough that you roll back in your chair. As he stands straight, you rest your elbows on the armrests. 

“You don’t have to pretend to be nice now. You’ve already messed it all up.” 

He laughs again. You hate that. He thinks everything is so funny. This is your life. 

“Messed what up, exactly? I know a Midgardian’s life cycle, I’ve lived through many and so by my estimate, you are overdue for marriage--” 

“That isn’t-- oh my god,” you drag your hands down your face. You drop them into your lap and look at him. “When I told you, you were angry. You looked at me like you hated me. So, how do you think this is going to work?” 

“Hate is powerful but there are things that can overwhelm it,” he shrugs. “I do enjoy the way your legs look when you walk in those shoes and your skirt compliments you well. Now, I know you do not hate me, I can read others rather well. You are intimidated yes, but fear can also make one...how should I put this, sexually aroused?” 

“Oh god. Please,” you wheel back to your desk and shield one side of your face with your hand. “That’s not—Like I said, we can pretend.” 

“This marriage is very much real, darling,” he intones. 

“No.” 

“Yes.” 

“No.” 

“Yes, it is--” 

“Lokiiiiii,” you growl and pop your head up to snarl at him. 

He smirks and tilts his head, “ooh, say it again.” 

“Stop, please.” 

He chortles and his eyes flare. You don’t like the way they glint, “darling, your dear husband brewed you a tea, please, do not let it grow cold.” 

You sigh and look down at the cup. You raise it and blow the steam away. You sip. It’s rather nice, richer than you would expect. In fact, it’s so good you can’t stop drinking. You’ve had that oolong a dozen times over and you’ve told Tony to get a different brand as it is far from your favourite, but today, it is like honey. 

You wipe your lips at the dribble left behind and set down the cup. Loki resumes his seat by the wall, “hmm, just over an hour to go, darling.” 

[flagellant]

Hey! Please correct me if I'm wrong, but you seem like you actually know things about wend*gos and I genuinely want to have a better understanding.

Based on my limited understanding, the association with deer and wend*gos is more of a pop culture thing and the original concept of wend*gos arent like that at all. They're regular humans who got cursed for being cannibals, right?

Dont get me wrong, youre completely right in saying that people need to stop associating deer imagery with cannibalism as pop culture doesnt erase appropriation, but am I at least right on the history?

No pressure to answer if you dont want to, thanks for taking time to read this regardless.

Alright, it's been a while since I've spoken about the winter hunger so it's time for the perennial disclaimer: I am not Anishinaabe, and I cannot be considered a true authority on their practices and beliefs. Native America is, after all, not a monolith, and I can only speak for what I know through research and seeking to learn about this topic in order to be more respectful of them and advocate for that respect due to my audience's size.

With that said: You're correct. There is absolutely no deer imagery aligned with the Anishinaabe culture's portrayals and understanding of the being in question. I'm not 100% sure on its origins, but I'd be willing to bet that much of the inspiration would come from the Witcher 3's depictions of leshy--they click all of the buttons through visual language, and I can see why people would see that sort of iconography and begin applying it disrespectfully. Like I keep saying--fucked up deers are cool and spooky as hell! It's not a shock that through law-of-large-numbers and a history of oppression and thievery that the horror genre can often be anti-indigenous bc of that!

For clarification of the most commonly understood appearance of the winter hunger--and this is not so that you can more accurately use it, it is so you can more accurately defend against racist and inaccurate depictions--it takes the shape of humans. Often of people you know. There are sometimes qualifiers like frostbite or lack of feet but at the very root of it, it is supposed to look like a human being.

Further disclaimer: What I'm about to say may be an entirely wrong interpretation of the winter hunger, but it is rooted in my culture's understanding of a very similar evil being which exists in Dine and other desert-dwelling native tribes such as mine. It's further rooted in my specific understanding of religion through anthropological lenses, since that's why I love studying religion so much--because it doesn't exist in a vacuum it is defined by our understanding of our surroundings.

Picture it this way: Both the Anishinaabe and my own people are in some way considered extremophilic cultures. We both live in an environment which reliably becomes lethally dangerous to exist within if you aren't prepared, willing to sacrifice your own comfort for the survival of everyone, and combines a level of isolation during those extreme climates with a need to be able to trust those around you implicitly because you all want to survive. Deserts, be they snow or sand, are difficult places to live within. There are enough resources to go around, but it's not exactly uncommon for there to be enough to go around and that's all. You're surviving because you and everyone around you are putting the survival of everyone over individualist comforts.

The winter hunger and the desert swallowing you whole are always taught as something which looks like a human. Which sounds like a human. Which can trick others into thinking it is human. Beings which have the shape of a person, but have no humanity--they lost it or they never had it. And both of them are things which gain power over you when spoken of and thought of--they're a type of memetophage. They feed on people who know about them, so you're forced to balance "aware that this danger exists" with "need to know what the danger is". They often will try and trick you into evil deeds or danger yourself by wearing the face and voice of family and loved ones. People you know well to let your guard down.

Now remember that you are a culture which needs to prepare itself for extreme climate survival. Everyone has to rely on everyone else. But sometimes people aren't going to like the people they're surviving with. People will resent other people for whatever reasons they choose, justified or not. Living so close together and in such tight quarters can be stressful and bring out the absolute worst in us.

Imagine, for a moment, going out into a snowstorm or the bitter desert night, looking for food for everyone else, sent with someone you hate. It's a harsh life. Even at your safest you are at risk of death for whatever reason--getting lost, being attacked by an animal, taking a bad fall. It happens. It's a fact of life. It's horribly tragic but it's acknowledged as inevitable.

Imagine the knowledge of how dangerous what you two are doing worming its way into your head during this time. If you were willing to hate this person enough to kill them...it wouldn't be hard to convince everyone it was just an accident. Just something which happens. Kill a stag, then kill them and jam the stag's antlers through the wound. Or just disable them somehow and leave them to freeze in the snowdrifts and say they got lost. Or push them down a ravine. There are so many possibilities and all of them exonerate you of any complicity, because yeah, you didn't like them...

...but you trust each other to survive. You trust that you're all willing to give up things to make sure everyone is able to survive and get through these things. You trust that when you are in danger, you don't need to worry about it coming from someone you know. And so why would anyone suspect you? And maybe you convince yourself that what you did was good, actually. One less mouth to feed. More food for everyone. Or it's just easier for you--someone who you hated so much, and now you never need to worry about them again.

Imagine the way that knowledge that you've done it once would show up again and again. Anyone and everyone is now in danger because you've become aware of the benefits of being greedy. Of choosing to hurt and kill other people to further your own goals and desires. Of deciding that the sacrosanct ties of the whole community's survival is not a priority over your own violent impulses. The knowledge of what you can do to other people is, itself, a danger. You put the idea of it, the possibility, in someone's head, and there is every chance that it could start dwelling in there and taking root, changing them from a good person, someone you know, a member of the community, into an evil, selfish monster which has lost its humanity and merely wears that person's face. Uses its voice to lie to you. Wants you all to have your guards down around it. Something waiting to strike where it can.

Now remember that we turn rainbows into the bridges of gods because we needed to create a reason for them. That's the history of magic: we don't know how to explain something, or we don't know how to process it, or we do and need to obfuscate that knowledge through a layer of fiction to cope with it. We don't invent the divine for no reason, on instinct, without thinking. We do it because there is something that creating it offers us as a species and culture that would otherwise be lacked. So think: Why would tribal cultures who need everyone to be willing to set aside personal wants and grievances to ensure that everyone survives through harsh climates need to have something like the winter hunger or the desert swallowing you whole? What benefit does it offer the community? What is the purpose of sharing knowledge about this monster? Where would it fit into that culture's way of life and philosophies?

The answer becomes self-evident soon enough. We all know what it looks like when one person decides they can sacrifice other humans for their own personal greed. We call them oligarchs.

[kaledya]

Hi Hi 🖤

Some personal questions about serenity and Constantine.

Serenity 🍀

1. Serenity appears to have fluffy hair in the images, is it soft? He lets people pass his hand because I remember seeing an image of the angel running his hand through her hair when she arrives at the hotel.

2. Serenity believes in bad luck, if she meets someone with the same power as her, what would happen?

3. Serenity considered Constantine handsome? What was her first impression of his appearance? What does she like most about his appearance? What attracts her?

4. Is she a type?

5. When she died and arrived in hell, what was her first impression?

Constantine 🔥

1. Is Constantine introverted or extroverted?

2. Does he clean his hooves daily?

3. Your favorite color?

4. Your favorite flower? Or some flower of origin from hell?

5. What does your castle look like? Does he have a garden? What does he like most about his room? Do you have a nice view? Where is it located?

HOWDYY!!! And YAAAAY more questions!!

SERENITY:

1-Serenity She has really soft hair, kind of like sheep's wool that has been washed with shampoo and then combed and dried. But it still looks like human hair.(There is only a very fast growth proglem)

2-hmmmm If she meets someone like her who can control luck If the other demon is not an enemy, she can try to establish a partnership with diplomacy. If the party decides to be a enemy, she will kill them. (If They are someone who does not want to make a deal, finding someone with the same powers as her will only be a problem)

She can't use her power in that battle because her enemy has luck too. But Serenity is both physically capable + has an army.

3- Hmmm, so it's kind of a fact that Constantine is handsome/Beautiful man. So naturally Serenity sees this too.

Hmmm I guess she likes his hair and face? She thinks his hair is very thick, they are very soft and she likes the color of it.

She thinks that a smile really suits his face. She even jokes with Constantine that if he always looks grumpy all The time like someone has died, his face will soon remain that way like a Statue. That's why Serenity tries to make him smile whenever she gets the chance.

4-Type? Hmmmm I've never thought of this before.So I don't think Serenity gave much importance to appearance, she just liked people who looked after themselves.

Maybe personality would attract her? Serenity probably prefers knowledgeable people with a sense of humor that matches her own intelligence.Also talented people People who have something in common with her.

In other words, when they spend time together, they are someone with whom they can both chat about deep topics and discuss daily issues.

5.I was thinking about the animatics of this scene /I was going to use World Burn/

🎶Because you took me down, but didn't finish me offffff~~

My names is Serenity Hartlet and in case you keeping score they may have won The battle but I WILL WIN THE WAR🎶

Or I was also thinking of Insane Animatic ıdk

When Serenity first came to Hell, she was a little too full of hate and confusion. She achieved her goal, but died without knowing it.

She was she shoted and stabbed in the stomach and then burned after.

And when she woke up, what she saw was a lot of creatures struggling among the blood and mud. For a moment, she even thought she had lost her mind. Then, after getting out of the pit and reaching hell, she realized where she was.

Then after seeing where she was her reaction was she started laughing and saying This

"Oh, can you tell me where I am? I don't know how I got here But I, I think I'm starting to understand I don't belong among the angels And baby, that's just fine with me The things I did up there were high school But now I'm going for my degree'' -Insane

CONSTANTINE:

1- He's INTJ (a Little bitENTJ too)

Honestly, it could be said to be a bit of both. Although there is a tendency to keep into himself and enjoy solitude, especially when involved in research or strategic planning,He can be quite charismatic and sociable when the situation calls for it. Can be very charming and elegant,refined demeanor especially when interacting with others So, he's a little extrovert and a little introverted.

2.He usually wipes his hooves before going to his private areas in the palace and washes them before entering the bedroom.Someone who cares about cleanliness will not enter the bedroom with dirty feet.

3-golden and red and black.

4-Spider lilies and Black Roses he loves Appearance of it and meaning.

5- For this question, I will use the references I found on Pinterest for a better visual expression.

-His Castle located in pride.

-He loves everything about it

inside of his castle look like this;

his workshop generally looks like this:

this art by Maethavee.Kay'E (on ArtStation)

His Garden/Big Libary (where he stocks his books):

Main Hall:

Corridors

His Bedroom:

His Daily Libary:

His view:

From outside:

ıt's kinda look like this but

The walls of the palace are made of Opsidian and there are many more spikes on the towers, and where the tree passes, there are ivy with black and red roses.

[legendaryfugitives]

Athena’s Exes

So, I recently noticed people agreeing that Goddess Athena is Asexual, but from mythological sources like the stories about Pallas, there are hints that she was not aromantic. During a long research spree and reading other people's opinions, I've noticed she'll be considered a Biromantic Sapiosexual Asexual. AKA, not into the, how do I say this in PG language, bedroom stuff due to being a Parthenos, but shows romantic interest to anyone with brains. These are just notes I made while researching this topic. I encourage you all to do your own research. I'm willing to make a part two post of links if anyone needs them. Warning! Greek Mythology is known for incest included in their stories. You've been warned! Please let me know if there is anyone else I missed so I can update this post. Hephestus will not be included since Athena was not in love with him in any way. Now, let's move on to my notes of a few examples.

Pallas, The Lost BFF

When Athena first burst out of her father's head, Zeus, she was taken in by Triton, her cousin and son of Poseidon. Triton also had a Nymph daughter named Pallas. The sources are borderline on how Athena and Pallas viewed each other. Some say they were sisterly best friends, and some say they were more than friends. What the sources have in common is that the two girls practice sparring and compete together.

Fate: During a sparring contest or a friendly sparring practice match Zeus attended or happened to be watching, Athena and Pallas’s fight got heated. Scared for Athena's life, he used his aegis to distract Pallas. Unfortunately, this caused Athena to accidentally impale and kill her best friend. To make it up to Athena, Zeus gave her his aegis, which we see Athena wear to this day. Athena later created the palladium, a statue that looked like Pallas, and Athena took the name Pallas as her epithet.

Prometheus, Thief God of Fire and Hearts

There are a few theories about these two. Especially since Athena helped Prometheus steal the fire. There was one story in which Prometheus had a crush on Athena, which is why he was punished. And believe me, Prometheus and Athena were not on my Bingo Card this year. However, it makes sense since the two have a lot in common, they have worked together many times, and both played a role in creating a new version of humans. Another variation of Athena's birth myth is Prometheus freeing Athena instead of Hephaestus, or he does help out in the process of freeing Athena from Zeus's head. Yes, you may say, “But didn’t accident resources say Prometheus was married and had a son?” Remember, these stories have changed and merged over time with different variants. Some sadly lost to time. Ultimately, we are left with our imaginations when approaching these stories as long as the original culture is respected. But it does make things complicated. Prometheus and his wife, Pronoea or Hesione, never got married or divorced. Be free to come up with theories, everyone.

Fate: After getting caught afterward, Prometheus was punished by getting chained to a rock, and his liver was eaten by an eagle. Then, Prometheus's liver regrows overnight, but his torcher continues each day until he is finally freed. But unfortunately for the rebel titan, it ended his relationship with Athena. To make things worse, Athena was part of making Pandora, so Athena was punished at the end of the day, too.

Myrmex, Maiden Heartbreaker

In an insect origin story, Myrmex was a young Attican maiden who became the goddess' favorite. She was known for her cleverness and her chastity, a significant reason why Athena had a love for the maiden. Athena showed humans how to sow their fields when she created the plow. However, Myrmex was greedy on the inside. Myrmex went behind Athena’s back, stole some sheaves, and claimed she invented the plow to the public in conman fashion.

Fate: Heartbroken, Athena turned Myrmex into an ant, cursing her for stealing other's grain forever. So, talk about the worst breakup of the year there. The lesson is don't break the heart of someone who cares for you, romantically or platonically, because the betrayed will get petty revenge.

Phereclus (or Phereclos), the Shipbuilder of Tragic Dreams

Although one line mentions this, the Illiad mentions a Trojan shipbuilder, Phereclus (or Phereclos), who once made well-balanced ships. According to the different translations of Book V, Athena had “a special love for him,” “for Pallas Athene loved him above all men,” or “Pallas Minerva had dearly loved him.” Either he was her protégé, there was something more, or both.

Fate: According to Book V of the Illiad, Phereclus was killed by Meriones since it was one of Phereclus’s ships that Paris used to kidnap Helen. And if you read it, it’s pretty graphic. People can form their theories on the subject despite just that one line.

Hercle (aka Etruscan version of Heracles/Hercules), A Lover in Question

Disclaimer! This is from the Etruscan sources. I do not ship Hercle/Heracles/Hercules with Menrva/Athena/Minerva. Please do not attack me, people! In the Etruscan religion, Athena was not viewed as a Parthenos. Some sources hint at the two being romantically involved despite being siblings or half-siblings. Even having a blood or adopted kid together named Epiur??? But the two Gods were probably Epiur's protectors instead. Hercle and Menrva were Gods of protecting children back then to the Etruscans. Epiur is still a big mystery, so people, please do your research!

Fate: If we go with Hercle's Greek Version, Heracles had a crazy death, but he became a God, and then he ended up marrying his other half-sister, Hebe, the daughter of the Goddess who was out for revenge on Heracles, Hera. Yeah, this family tree is messed up for the wrong reasons, and I don't want to elaborate further.

That's it for now! Criticism is welcome if I get something wrong and need to fix it. I'm willing to post the links if anyone is curious about these details. Studying Athena's past friends or possible past lovers was an interesting rabbit hole to explore. If I inspired you in any way, please use these ideas as long as you respect original sources and know Athena is a Parthenos. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk of Athena's Exes for now!

Edit: To Epic the Musical fans, be free to use this for any of your theories because these losses may have affected Athena.

[agirlwithglam]

how to develop self love and confidence

— a step by step guide by yours truly ♥

disclaimer!! for some people it can take a lot longer to love themselves than others, so don't be discouraged if it takes a bit longer. just remember that no matter what you think, you ARE WORTHY OF LOVE.

step 1: identifying the root cause

first you need to find WHY you dont love yourself. it usually comes down to these main reasons:

society

your looks

comparison

your abilities

childhood trauma

your current situations

it can be just one or more than one, and sometimes it may not be as simple as "my looks", sometimes you may have to dig deeper.

for me, it was because i thought i was "ugly"

step 2: once you know the WHY, research about the topic and try and solve it.

here ive broken down the 6 reasons to help you a bit: (but remember that this is just a small break down, if you want you can research more about the topic & try to battle it)

society: society has tricked us into believing that loving yourself is considered 'vain' or 'narcissistic'. let me tell you right now that THAT IS NOT TRUE. loving yourself is a basic necessity that everyone should have!!

your looks: this is something i struggled with for a loong time. remember that beauty is subjective!! bob could think that travis looks 'average' but Leo could think that travis looks absolutely gorgeous!! ☆ so how did i overcome this? i actually 'glowed up'. bc the main thing i didnt like was face- my teeth to be specific. so once i got braces, my teeth aligned and i started looking so much better. ☆ other struggles: ↴ for you if it may be acne, then you could start trying to take care of your skin better. or if its body image then if you reeeeally dont like it then literally just start working out. if you have the option to yet you still dont then dont complain. but remember that ALL BODIES ARE PERFECT. ★ another thing that helped me a lot was affirmations! i listened to a bunch of affirmations -> i used this video by thewizardliz and it did wonders! (you can also search up on yt self-love/ beauty affirmations)

comparison: for most people comparison comes from social media right? the simple solution to this would be unfollow accounts that dont serve you, or delete/ set a time limit on the social media platform "but what if i compare myself to people i meet in real life?" well we can't exactly unfollow or delete these people but what we can do is turn that jealousy (yes, jealousy) into inspiration! be inspired by the people with greater lives and use that to pull yourself forward! ☆ a quote that i read once (that may or may not help you) : "do not compare your chapter 1 to someone else's chapter 50." you never know what the other person has gone through or is going through that got them to this point!

your abilities: okay theres not much i can say here except that you can learn almost everything online nowadays. stop complaining and get off your lazy butt to prove to yourself just how much potential you have! (but don't beat yourself up for being a lazy butt, im one as well) here is a link to a TON of stuff you can learn online!

childhood trauma: this is a bit of a more delicate subject which i do not know a lot on, my best suggestion would be to just go to therapy (or use an online therapy app- betterhelp). - watching thewizardliz may help as well as she might know more about the topic.

your current situation: whether its trouble with friends, at school, at work, or with family i promise you that these things do not last forever. humans were not put on earth to be unhappy and miserable! (whats the point in that?) my advice is to learn more about the topic (for ex i was struggling with being left out w friends for a while and it did hurt a bit) and see what you can do to fix it or at least make the best out of it. + another reminder that you can use the law of assumption- in basic words the law states that whatever you desire, you have. all you need to do is accept that. heres a quote i read: "if you dont like where you are,, then move. you aint a tree." this is literally YOUR life. RESPECT yourself and dont let people treat you bad because that is disrespecting yourself!

step 3: focus on yourself!!

my favourite step!!

this is your sign to stop focussing on others' lives and start focussing on your own.

when you start to focus on yourself, up level yourself and try to become your best version of yourself, you actually end up falling in love with that version of yourself, and your current version!

ask yourself: is there even something to love?

ask yourself: would you want to date or be friends with someone like you? think actually deep about this; if your answer is no, then that obviously means that there is some work to do.

if you're constantly negative and complaining and rude all the time, trust me, literally no ones gonna want to hang out with you. and then you'll adopt that 'victim mindset' of "nobody likes me and i suck". instead of doing that, why dont you try to just suck a bit less? there isn't any pressure on you to become amazing the next day, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try.

small things/habits to start:

gratitude

hydration

exercising

journalling

meditation

eating healthy

developing a skill

get enough sleep

take cold showers

taking care of your skin

invest in your appearance

focussing on school/ your grades

go outside! go for walks, be in nature!

changing what you consume (resources below)

some resources that helped me SO MUCH:

♡ thewizardliz

♡ tam kaur

♡ persephone's mind

and meditation! its so extremely underated but SO VALUABLE.

xoxo, vanilla

[kurishiri]

16 . . . alfons main story (with letter)

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ this translation may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost these or claim these as your own!

— by the way, if you want “alfons’ side” of this chapter, i would recommend giving the ecb story from roger’s past records a read! i copied and pasted some lines from there in this chapter as well.

— cw: mentions of child labor or abuse.

Roger: Even after getting hurt by that villain of a man, you just never learn, do you, lil lady?

Roger’s face was right there before me, so close I could feel his breath.

He was honestly a wonderful person, and I was sure if we had met at the bar, without knowing the circumstances, I would have happily gone along with his slightly rough invitation.

(But...)

Kate: I’m really sorry... but right now I’m not in a headspace where I can humor your jokes...

K: Besides, I thought you mentioned you choose your partners?

Thankfully, Roger withdrew his hand from my shoulders, albeit not without a wry laugh.

Roger: You’re right, I did mention that, but I would absolutely take a woman like you any day.

(Could it be he came here to cheer me up?)

My heart, having felt cold and hollow, now felt a tad bit of warmth.

(Oh, come to think of it...)

Kate: ...If I remember, you are doing research on the Cursed ones, right?

Roger: That I am, but what of it?

Kate: If it’s not too much trouble, could you tell me what Alfons’ tragic fate is...?

When I asked Roger what had been occupying my mind since before he came, he shrugged his shoulders, his movements stiff.

Roger: If he knew I was the one to tell you, he’d hate me more than he already does.

Kate: Then whatever you say here will stay between the two of us.

Roger: I mean, sure, but I’m pretty sure he’d still catch on even if you didn’t say a word.

R: Well, despite what I said, I’m more than convinced he couldn’t hate me any more at this point, so I don’t really mind.

(Now that we’re on this topic...)

I remembered I couldn’t help but feel the way Alfons acted toward Roger made me a bit uncomfortable.

[1] So you two go way back. (+4 / +4)

[2] Does he hate you?

[3] Which one of you is older?

Kate: So, I take it you two go way back?

Roger: And what makes you think that?

Kate: Well, I guess when you two were speaking, it looked like you weren’t pulling any punches on each other, so to speak... but also I felt you two were a bit distant...

K: So I thought something might’ve happened that made it that way, perhaps.

Roger: Well well? Look at you and your keen eye. But as for the reason he holds some deep-seated grudges against me——

R: ...It was because the one who had told him what his ‘tragic fate’ was so casually, was none other than me.

R: His life had always been a bit twisted, so to speak, but then I came in and wrung it more.

(Wha...)

Roger: You want in on it?

(If I nod here...)

The story that Roger was about to tell——

Surely, it would cover a part of Alfons that he would never let me so much as step in.

(...I wonder, will knowing more about him really do much?)

(Perhaps, knowing would actually make it harder to forget.)

I bit my lip slightly.

(But, even so——)

Even if it was just a tiny fragment, I wanted to grasp at his true form, however much of a mirage he may be.

Kate: ...Yes, please tell me more.

—— Flashback ——

The story I’m about to tell is neither a dream nor illusion.

It is nothing but the ‘truth’ that one can’t escape from——

Once, there was a boy who bore ashy gray eyes: an orphan from the East End.

And ever since the time he was aware of what was going on around him, he had been subjected to harsh labor at the orphanage.

The work environment was poor at best, and even a slightest mistake would result in corporal punishment.

However, this boy held a certain skill as well.

He knew the art of escaping from the reality that dealt him with hardships and rendered him famished and in pain by dreaming.

‘This isn’t me’——such were the chants of the boy who looked into his own reflection in the muddied water.

Whenever he did this, his consciousness would distance itself from him, going somewhere outside. And so, even if he was being punished, he felt nothing.

Not to mention, there were countless children who died as well.

...Children whose names he could no longer remember. And when the time came, it would surely be the same for him as well.

——But even so, there was but a single thing he had held dear in his heart.

Gray-eyed boy: Come here, won’t you?

Out in the alleyway, there was a trembling kitten.

He never had much bread in the first place, but nonetheless he split it with the kitten; he would fall asleep while hugging it to his chest on colder days; and he would pet it on the back of its neck.

Whenever he did so, his heart would calm down.

(That’s right, I’m different from those adults. Because unlike them, I have love in me.)

(And I’m different from those nameless kids too, because I’ve got this fella here.)

(This cat knows me, if no one else. It remembers me too.)

Thinking this helped keep his sense of self.

Gray-eyed boy: I love you... so that’s why, if no one else, you have to remember me, okay?

The kitten’s warmth, the feeling of its soft fur, and the small meows...

Surrounded by bricks that were on the verge of falling apart, that very place was the ‘reality’ he lived in.

—— End flashback ——

—— Flashback ——

Roger: Huh. A cat...

One fateful day, the young boy met another named Roger in the East End.

Roger appeared slightly older than the boy who was polishing shoes out on the streets.

And judging from his attire, he was probably not a noble, but more likely than not he had come from a relatively more well-to-do family.

‘I heard some rumors about the orphanage, so here I am,’ Roger had said, wanting in on the boy’s story, almost to an excessive extent for some odd reason.

Roger: So? What’s that cat doing now? After all, the fact you’re polishing shoes out here now is because you got kicked out from the orphanage, right?

When talking about the cat, the boy’s ashy gray eyes seemed to soften ever so slightly.

Gray-eyed boy: That fella’s still at the orphanage. Someone there’s probably looking after it, maybe?

Roger: .........And you? What’s your name?

His name——that young boy had an inkling that he had forgotten he even had such a thing in the first place.

Gray-eyed boy: ...Alfons, I think.

Roger: You think?

Alfons: Well, I heard it was written on the box I was in.

That alone was enough to hit home the fact that he had been abandoned the moment he was born.

He had no memory of the time before he found himself at the orphanage.

And that orphanage was the very one he had been recently driven out of.

Roger: Do you really not know the reason you were kicked out of the orphanage?

Alfons: How could I? It was so sudden, so...

—— End flashback ——

When the needles on the clock overlapped, I found myself back in the present time.

Roger: I had heard a certain rumor circulating around at the time, so that’s why I tried to get in touch with him.

Kate: A rumor...?

Roger: Yeah. A rumor where ‘the director of the orphanage was made into a cat.’

(Did he just say... he was ‘made into a cat’...?)

Kate: What in the world does that mean...?

Roger: At the time, I already knew I was Cursed, and I had already begun researching about Curses at that point.

R: Through my father, who was a town doctor, I searched around for any documents about patients who could possibly be Cursed.

R: And it was among those I found something particularly strange, that being rumors of a person who could ‘overwrite other people’s perceptions’——

R: And there were strange cases of amnesia where that came from.

(Am...nesia...)

When I thought of Alfons’ face, I stifled a breath.

Roger: White could be perceived as black, and vice versa——there are a great many who experienced that firsthand, thinking such things were reality.

R: But interestingly enough, none of them could remember who had made it that way. Their name, what they looked like, where they lived, everything.

R: And when I checked the registry of that area and any records... I was confident there was some unnatural ‘white space’ there.

R: It was clear as night and day that there was a single person who had just up and disappeared to thin air from both memories and records. ...Strange, isn’t it?

R: I was more than sure that person who held such an ability was a ‘Cursed one.’

At that moment, I had a bad feeling.

But nonetheless, I simply swallowed my breath and continued to listen.

Roger: So when I first heard the rumor that there was a ‘human who had turned into a cat,’ I thought he would be Cursed.

R: And at the time, I was hoping to find a Cursed one aside from myself in earnest.

R: ...That’s why I ended up doing something rash.

—— Flashback ——

Roger: You’ve got some strange ability, don’t you?

All of a sudden, Roger had asked this with a serious expression, causing Alfons to back away with slow steps.

Alfons: What do you mean, ‘strange ability’...?

Roger: You know, like by touching somewhere and whatnot, you can make people think any lie as the truth. Something like that.

Alfons: ...Any lie... as the truth...

Roger figured that since Alfons hadn’t asked what he was talking about, he probably was at least somewhat in the know.

Believing this without question, Roger took a step back before spreading both his arms.

Roger: So try something on me, won’t you? Anything’s fine.

Alfons: ...

After staring at Roger closely for a while...

Alfons: ...If you pay me, I could do it.

He made a proposal to the well-dressed Roger.

And from there, the two did this and that to test his ‘ability.’

After all, Alfons himself didn’t know how to activate it.

Roger: Looks like just throwing words out won’t do it.

Alfons: So then I’d have to touch you somewhere too or something?

And then, Alfons held Roger’s hand, touched his forehead and whatnot, and after a lot of trial and error——

Alfons: “This isn’t shoe polish, but your most favorite food.”

—— End flashback ——

Roger: When he touched the back of my neck, his ability activated.

Kate: ...And how did you know that?

Roger: Well, by the time I came to, I realized I was eating shoe polish, and he was there on the side laughing and pointing his finger at me.

(Gosh...)

Roger, laughing it off, continued the story.

—— Flashback ——

Roger: I knew it, you really are Cursed.

Alfons: Cursed?

A: What in the world are you saying, mister [1]? Just hurry up and pay me, will you?

Alfons’ eyes grew cold, and he extended his head, waving it.

And Roger grabbed both of his shoulders.

Roger: You have the ability to distort the minds of other people. You saw it yourself before, didn’t you?

R: And those who are Cursed will have to face a tragic fate as a price for their abilities.

Alfons: Wh... what’re getting all excited for?

There are those who were cast with a Curse since the moment they were born——such people are known as ‘Cursed ones.’

And at this point in time, Alfons still didn’t grasp such a meaning.

Roger: I mean the Cursed ones are born “to commit sins and meet a tragic fate.”

Alfons: ...Are you sure you shouldn’t go to a hospital, mister? There can’t be such a thing as a tragic fate and all.

Roger: I know it sounds like a lie, but it really is true! And I think in your case, it would probably be——“to die without leaving your mark on anyone’s memories.”

R: That’s the fate you bear.

Alfons: ——!

In exchange for an ability a normal person could never have, they were dealt the hands of a ‘tragic fate.’

Roger: But, I’m sure these fates can be changed. In fact, I’ll do just that.

R: After all, I was finally able to meet someone other than myself who’s Cursed! Hey, do you——

Alfons: .........get out.

All of a sudden, Alfons pushed Roger on his chest. Hard.

Roger: ...? What’s up with you? Looking pale as a sheet like that.

Alfons: Whatever, just get out of my sight!

Pushing Roger so hard he was almost sent flying, Alfons ran away——

never to return there again.

—— End flashback ——

Roger: ...And then a little while after that,

R: I heard a rumor around that ‘there was a kid who could show weird illusions over at the slums.’

I was reminded of how I had seen Alfons in the warehouse that had long become ruins, showing illusions to the people there.

—— Flashback ——

Alfons: I have been doing these things even prior to joining Crown, you see.

A: So I see no reason to stop, simply because I’ve been told to, or it’s a supposed ‘national secret’ and what have you.

—— End flashback ——

Roger: At the time, I was hoping he could work with me on my research...

R: But if I had to say, I got too caught up in talking about his fate, and as a result I had ended up pushing on him a reality he could never go back from again.

Just like that, I felt as though a hole had opened up beneath my feet.

The past I didn’t know of,

the day I had first understood what his ability entailed, and... the ‘Curse’ his body had ended up bearing.

(“To die without leaving his mark on anyone’s memories”——such was Alfons’ tragic fate.)

to be continued…

Acceptance is important, you know

Good day to you. How have you been faring?

...So I do ask, though I couldn’t really care less, if I had to be honest. But even so, do make sure to eat and sleep properly, alright?

After all, would you not agree that destroying your body and suffering because you had been pulled by the whims of some irresponsible hedonist is nothing short of a ludicrous tale?

The quickest way to overcome a lost love would be liquor and food, along with the discovery of your next love. Such is usually the case.

If you indulge in a delicious liquor, I imagine you will come to realize this love was naught but some silly affair. In fact, I’m more than certain of it.

Should you seek out a pleasure no deeper than the surface, then I will be more than happy to play together with you once more.

Well then, until next time.

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masterlist🪞 ╱ ko-fi ☕️

NOTES:

[1] Here, Alfons refers to Roger as [お兄さん] (onī-san), which literally means “big brother,” and it could be used to refer to someone else’s older brother, but here it’s used more in the context that Roger is a guy a little older than Alfons, so it’s just like a casual way to call someone you’re not super close with or don’t know the name of, not because they are blood-related in any way. Think of it kinda like “bro” in modern terms maybe?

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ tags🏷️ ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ @drachonia @.comment, send an ask off anon, or dm to be added or removed!

[culpeppercheckers721]

Ok but in all seriousness, if we are gonna discuss Peggy OUTSIDE of just the hot bracket. 😂 I know we’re all like “I support women’s wrongs!” and I do love strong female characters myself, even when I know they’re villains! However Peggy may be the exception to that rule, because as much as it seems to go weirdly unacknowledged at times, I’d like to just say that Peggy is just. Objectively. Not that great of a person. 🤡

If I can just explain my viewpoint, I recognize that going into the show, I was always biased because I had already done some light research on her and the Arnold treason plot and knew about her historically, so I already absolutely detested Peggy Shippen before seeing Turn’s characterization of her, where yes she does get something of a sympathetic portrayal as many loyalists and redcoats do on this show (which is generally good because history is complicated, and it’s not all black and white, so I’m not saying that was a bad choice or anything!!), but I still don’t think it sugarcoated her enough for Peggy to be seen as a morally great character. 😅

Regarding how she totally manipulated Arnold into joining the British and basically ruining his own life, I want to preface this with YES I also hate Arnold and would punch him if I could, and YES I think Arnold was perfectly capable of ruining his own life by himself, but that being said… it is still pretty painful to watch, and if not for Arnold’s sake, than for the sake of everyone else who was negatively impacted by his treason. 💀 Honestly, there are some similarities I find between how dangerous Mary can be and how dangerous Peggy can be, only I think the key difference is that Mary uses it for “good” and Peggy uses it for “evil,” if you will. 😂 I don’t think Mary is some flawless goddess, and I get the argument that everything Peggy did was for Andre and how devoted she was to him… but I don’t think it’s a reach for me to say that with the exception of Andre, she may or may not sacrifice others’ happiness for her own. And have we forgotten the candlestick scene??? When she was threatening Cicero, talking to him about her family’s servants getting rewarded vs. getting horsewhipped and asking him which one he would prefer??? (Honestly, even if she did end up on their side since she wanted to help with the kidnapping, I think Abigail should have got to knock Peggy out with the candlestick just for fun, who knows if she’d even remember it after anyways 💀) Like some of Peggy’s insensitive words likely just happen since she’s a product of her time, and since she grew up as privileged and rich as she did (let’s not forget Andre himself noting how her family views themselves as above essentially everyone, even the king’s authority which you’d think would matter to loyalist-leaning parties at the time), but that scene rather rubs me the wrong way. 😬 And remember that time when her and Philomena were essentially fighting over Andre even after he was already DEAD LMAO, and just because Philomena was rude to her once she got her sent to fucking PRISON??? LIKE HELLO POOR PHILOMENA. 💀

As traumatizing as I’m sure it was for her to see Andre die, and as much as I genuinely pity her then, I don’t think that’s an excuse for THAT course of action. And further still, there’s nothing that makes her actions prior to his death quite ok either. I could go on and on about this all day y’all but I think you get the point lol Peggy Shippen is simply… someone I would never want to be around. 😀 Like, it genuinely scares me sometimes when I remember that, of course, there are manipulative people like her still out there now. 😀 Not exactly fun to consider.

There’s a great video touching on this general topic from Not Even Emily who is far funnier than me, but to repeat her point, “women [and therefore female characters] can be bad people, too, and that’s true equality, babe!” 😂 So if you simply like Peggy as something of a morally grey or even morally bad character then I won’t try to talk you out of that of course, and even if you do for whatever reason defend her, you’re still entitled to your opinion! I know for a fact I can’t talk everyone out of liking her and nor would I try since that’s just as controlling as she is lol, but I still have just wanted to get this out of my system for a while since I find it to be sort of odd that this topic isn’t discussed more lmao.

Thank you so much if you actually read this besties, it is appreciated 💕

[siflshonen]

Hey there hope you are doing fine it is occurred to me that you are a huge lov Stan if it is not too much to ask could you give me a retrospective on your view of the lov and your opinion on them as they have grown and evolved and then your current opinion on where deku vs shiggy is headed thx.

I'm honored to be considered an LOV stan. Anyway, from the top:

Magne - Actually? Really enjoyed her for the time she was there. I think it would have been neat if her story tied into Aizawa, Hawks, or Nagant's somehow (meaning that they'd pursued her at one time or had been doing research on her specifically for a job - nothing super deep) to give her a little more focus and make the MHA cast seem more related and compact. I would have even liked her to live a little longer so she could do more LOV hijinks and show us more of that "big sis" title. I know some people don't like Magne or found it to be in bad taste that she died, but I don't feel it was a choice made in spite and I didn't have a problem with it, personally.

Kurogiri - Dark secret time: I actually do not really care about Kurogiri as Shigaraki's "caretaker" without the infusion of ambiguous Shirakumo energy and heart. I'm not a big "found family" person and I was never super into the takes of the major LOV fandom regarding this topic. Anyway, Kurogiri may or may not ever be exactly as he was as Shirakumo, but the more Shirakumo's presence is felt (even if he fights it and is like, "nooo I am loyal to Shigaraki! I don't care about these Shota Aizawa and Hizashi Yamada people!" because even then, it's still kinda the Shirakumo-heart-of-a-hero-loyal-to-his-friends OS running the show), the more I like him. I'm super stoked with the straightforward trope choices HK made for this character.

Shuichi Iguchi/Spinner - Spinner is so cute. I think Spinner is so, so cute and pathetic and sweet and wanting. God, he'll follow anything if he thinks it might make a difference. He is ready to lay down everything for Shigaraki even though he does not really understand him. He is so desperate to be a part of something, his heart is honestly in the right place when it comes to the individual members of the LOV, but every choice he makes or moment of self-doubt he has makes things worse. His heart is pure and every choice he makes takes him farther and farther from what he really wants. Please save Spinner. Someone, please save Spinner. Please love Spinner and help him do and want things independently of others and by his own direction and efforts. It can start small like getting him to grow and care for his own vegetables before he figures out what it is he'd really like to do or be.

Atsuhiro Sako/Mr. Compress - He kinda left it all on the floor when his moment came, so I don't have much to say besides I like him and of course he stole my heart when he asked me, the reader, to listen to his backstory before he bled out from ripping a hole in his own ass. In some ways, I like this a lot given that BNHA is a story-within-a-story, but in other ways I feel like this could have been more elegantly handled. I'm glad he lived and I'm excited to see him do more things outside of prison. He doesn't need to be in prison. That's just my opinion, though.

Jin Bubaigawara/Twice - Fantastic. Twice was always cute in that pesky-annoying way of any Deadpool Expy, but I think he's even cuter and softer of heart than Wade Wilson. I love how straightforwardly his backstory is told once we're allowed to see it, and I love - and hate - that his last thoughts were that Hawks had no right to pity/judge him as lucky or unlucky. His final "curse" to Hawks is powerful to me, particularly since it shows that, despite everything, Jin had people who actually knew him for who he was and liked him for it. At least, he had Toga. There's really a lot I could say about the Jin-and-Hawks situation, including how Jin's rejection of Hawks' conditions to let him live were also a rejection of Hawks and his choices, but I think those are the highlights. I really like that he got less goofy as we got to know him, but was never NOT goofy.

Himiko Toga - Dabi is a close second, but I think Toga is my favorite of the LOV. Hers is a classic female villain trope - crazy, jealous, horny, pansexual vampire blood-witch - but the story takes her completely seriously and asks what the FUCK is wrong with the situation of the world in order for her story to turn out like this. She's a classic, but better and with a human heart. So like, the thing about Toga is that she and her behavior doesn't really change - it's only the context that does as more is revealed about her. Also, her cutesy-yandere antics combined with Twice manages to actually make a funny pair rather than an annoying one. I mean, yeah, they're annoying, but it's in a charming way. If Ochako breaks her heart I'll fucking enter that manga myself and kill her. But Ochako won't do that because Ochako understands what she is doing.

Toya/Dabi - I am a big!!! Fan!!! Of Toya's dramatic ass! Pathetic! Pathetic! Pathetic! Any time I think I'm throwing a tantrum and being a spoiled brat, I think of Dabi and realize I've not yet hit rock bottom. From basically his intro, it was obvious he was a Todoroki and even more delicious that nobody in-story (not Aizawa, not Shoto, not Enji, not Hawks, not nobody) could figure it out even when he was soooooo desperate for them to figure it out and then got to reveal it! On TV! Oh, the drama! The spectacle! (Miss me with the "oooooooh it's not confiiiiiiirmed Dabi is a Todoroki" stuff, 'cause, c'mon you guys: this is the over-the-top-dramatic-irony manga.) That said, the tantrum is warranted - the thing he honestly needs is attention and acknowledgement as well as continued support. Dabi is my favorite Daddy Issues character. Cannot wait to see what his life looks like after his tantrum's over - which I think will happen. He's still alive in the manga and the Todorokis still have a long way to go even if he does kick the bucket by the end (he won't, though his lifespan might be reduced or something. There's gotta be blowback for becoming a charcoal briquette twice.)

Tenko Shimura/Tomura Shigaraki - I actually didn't give two hoots about him until we got the confirmed insight that he's a little boy in a 23-year-old body. I actually find Shigaraki to be the most boring of the LOV, but a lot of interesting things happen to him and he does a lot of interesting internal repression and exploration even with his limited understanding and context for his situation. I enjoy that his "enlightenment" is an artificial one that encourages destruction but opposes not only the status quo but any future creation. He's change and chaos, but only until the moment he succeeds, because then his destruction will be the stagnant status quo. Right now, he's got the otherworldly white hair like a Japanese demon or half-divine being and unlike Toya (who is totally a vengeful spirit and fire demon straight from hell) he's kinda suggesting a western angel, too. Must be cool to be the most significant and "perfect" white-haired anime boy in a series, huh. That's a lot of power, Sephiroth.

He's a great dragon-and-damsel rolled into one, and Izuku is going to save him with some help. It's as straightforward as that. After that, Tenko will probably want to become the definition of a true hero - not a Hero (as in the in-universe job), but someone proud of the legacy his grandmother and Toshinori tried to uphold while still desiring improvements. His destruction may be channeled into a real weapon of justice meant to meaningfully destroy the corrupt but with the goal to then make right what had been wronged. I wouldn't be totally surprised if he undergoes another quirk evolution and is able to create stuff a la Fullmetal Alchemist using the stuff he destroys/using the same stuff he would have otherwise destroyed. If so, it might be more apt to call his quirk something like "Flourish"/"Growth" or even "Improve"/"Surpass" rather than "Decay". The one thing I think Shigaraki can never really accept (though he will bide his time if needed) is stasis. Eventually, I think he'll become another intended successor of All Might, though frankly anyone in the series can and should earn that title at this point.

[skayafair]

Let's talk Hilbert, Pt. 2

Now that I made it clear why I like the character so much even despite his atrocities, let's get back to the topic of why he's so compelling.

A lot of people seem to think Doctor Hilbert has abandoned his own "self", dedicated his life only to his work and his aim to save humanity (by creating a virus). That simply the fact that the only meaning he sees is in his work and not life is selfless.

Well.

To me he's selfish to no fucking end and this is FRUSTRATING because it fucked up his whole life, cut short a lot of other lives and was tragic overall for nothing. (Of course, the real reason for all this was trauma and since I don't think Wolf 359 universe is that different from ours, therapy wasn't really an option, which makes it all all the more tragic in the worst way possible - the one I hate the most, the "it didn't have to happen like this and could actually turn out REALLY good but the circumstances just didn't line up".)

Because it didn't have to be like this, shouldn't have been like this, and I hate Goddard Futuristics with passion for setting things up to feed to Hilbert's obsession in the worst way possible. I'll just copy my tags from that drafted post next because they sum it up well.

Hilbert is hellbent on his aim and has a tunnel vision, talking big about the science and logic when THIS ISN'T HOW SCIENCE IS DONE.

You don't just barrel into experiments without proper theoretical preparations! And no one in their sane mind would work on something so complex ALONE, at the very least to keep a critical mind. And this is what he failed at - he's not CRITICAL to his own work because it's so important to him. But if it IS so important he HAS to be critical and he isn't! He contradicts himself every step of the way and this drives me up the wall!

That's why I'm so hooked. This frustration - if only he could see past his own nose juuuust a little bit. What a life it might have been then.

This is just a matter of perspective. Traditionally it is understood between humans that the most value is attributed to the existence, "life", personality. But to some, their essence lives in other things still connected to them directly. To Hilbert, he amounted in his work, reaching his aim, not a personality or its existence in a human body. So in his case, threatening his research was the same as threatening a human life in normal circumstances, and threatening his life was pointless, it didn't hold any meaning on its own to him. If he could exist as an AI, he'd be the happiest probably - less restrictions in any way that matters. Ask autistic folks, a lot would agree.

However, despite all the claims of his logic and no feelings, this is always the fattest lie. Thing is, any human still has feelings. They may be almost muted, they may be warped, they may be silenced, but the fact still stands - they exist. They don't go away. You can't get rid of your "self", for better or for worse. And Hilbert toootally didn't.

He set an aim - chose a field, chose to follow this path, chose to set any attachments aside and treat people as expendable if the situation demanded so. All this was his choices, his personality. And the fact that he never doubted - no, forbade himself to doubt - his virus research and experiments? It wasn't selflessness, far from it. It was a very human, very selfish fear to be wrong. I mean this isn't suprpising - he isn't even a genius of a scientist, the plant monster and Decima failure considered. To learn that he wasted so much time, or wait, it's worse. If some 10, 20 years prior to this Haephestus mission he had a research team and they showed the virus idea wasn't warking, he could start all over again many times by now. He could have an actually working one. So the fear would be not only about time but opportunities... and in the end, it would be about his own self, his own life (which is his work), his whole essense just - wasted. Wrong. Annihilated.

Every creative person knows this fear. Every time you put a piece of yourself into a thing you create and put it out for people to see, you know this. That they can nulify it all, killing this piece of you. It's painful as is. Imagine putting your whole self into one and getting it trashed.

So no, Hilbert is not selfless. He's very much and selfishly afraid of death, only in his case the meaning of "death" is a bit different from a traditionally accepted one. And this fear has led him so, so far astray, turned his and many other lives into a tragedy.

I can't call him a coward - this is a very reasonable fear after all, and I admire his dignity and resolve. I don't justify his actions, he crossed too many lines which should have never been crossed. But it all just frustrates me so much! Because all of it could have been avoided! But the circumstances - it's always these damn circumstances.

Of course he agreed to work with Goddard Futuristics. They offered the funds and the equipment no one else did and no moral restrictions, but left out one of the most important resources - people to work with, the teammates. Hilbert isn't great with people, that much was obvious, so he wouldn't have found anyone on his own (or maybe it was even restricted). His failure was set up, which is to be expected - the podcast showed Cutter's way of handling things, choosing the ones driven into a corner and manipulating them in all details. Find a scientist obsessed with one aim and let him drown in it.

Hilbert even met people willing to throw him a life ring despite everything, but alas, it was too late. The circumstances, y'know. And he didn't even learn about that.

It's just so damn tragic when an overall okay man with a really good goal ventures off the wrong path because there was no right one in sight, and then it's just one thing pulling another in tow, and he drowns.

I've seen a few people mentioning how Hilbert just doesn't agree to be redeemed, and I think it's not just that. This road was simply closed to him and he saw that clearly. He couldn't walk it, not with the way he is... was. Too much has already been done and there was no turning back. His personality wouldn't have let him. Moreover... his redemption, for him, was probably his virus finally working, and nothing else. The rest just wasn't alowed to matter enough.

And he cared. Despite all the big talk about no attachments and no feelings, he tried to minimize the damage the best he could, but one person can only do so much. Too bad there weren't more to help.

And he even admitted to the fear of being alone. Of the door waiting for him in case he was the only one left again - this would mean he lost another crew, another group of people who shouldn't have died - not in general, not because of him. Another failed try, another number of years wasted. And loneliness, again. The doctor didn't engage in the crew's shenanigans just because. The feelings are there, hide however you want.

Eiffel and Lovelace gave him "Humanity 101", but I really don't think there was a need. Humanity is such a wide spectrum.

[wammysgirl]

Riddlers- coming out to them as trans/ nb

Please note: This is my first time writing in ages, so i apologise for any typos! My own experiences with gender are more transmasc/ fluid leaning however I wanted to keep this broad for anyone reading! :)

Telltale!

Ooft, I love him but he definitely scoffs at first when you tell him

Not for any malicious reasons, he just, doesn't get why you felt the need to tell him?

As if your gender makes any difference to him or the work you do for him. As long as you can help with schemes and do your part he doesn't care about how you identify

It's that, painful kind of indifference. But if you make it known that his indifference IS an issue he'll do his best to try and address it

Afterall, he can understand that it took a lot of trust on your part to tell him, and that a scoff may not have been the best response off the bat.

Okay, tell him what's most comfortable for you from now on and he'll do his best to give you the same kind of respect you've always shown him

Unburied!

Oh, that's what that was.

He could tell something has been on your mind lately, and while he's usually MORE than happy to be nosey and poke and prod to get any answers out of you

He just kinda, knew, it'd be better to wait for you to tell him on your own terms

Well thats a relief! He though his best friend was either dying or going to leave him

WHAT?! Of all the outcomes, this is a lot easier to deal with

Well okay, he knows it probably more emotionally draining for you, but you've got his support 1000%

Seriously, he will fight any transphobes for you. Yes, he know's he'll lose in a physical fight, THAT'S NOT THE POINT!

He's very happy for you though and so ready to help you shop for a whole new wardrobe if you want it

Capullo!

This idiot, oh my god.

Of course he knows what transgender is, but considering he's never been tactful when talking to people in his life, expect him to stick his foot in his mouth at first

Again, this Ed is another one like telltale who will probably hurt your feelings, even though that's NOT his intention

Listen, he just has some of his own internal biases to get over

But if there's one thing he's good at, is learning and retaining a LOT of information. So as long as you have the patience and willpower to correct his (outdated) views, then you can actually help him understand you better

Hell, even just by giving him a starting point for his own research and reading materials is good enough, this fucker is still a nerdy ass riddler at his core. He LOVES his books.

He's not good at apologising (so he'll probably avoid it) but he definitely corrects himself if he ever slips up, he wants to make sure you're happy and comfortable and know that he does care

Young Justice!

Oh, shit!

Wait okay, can you just clarify for him if he's been refering to you correctly or incorrectly prevously, like if you've already been identifying how you prefer best, but you're just letting him know now because you're comfortable with him

OR if it's you didn't tell him before, but you are now so you want him to change how he refers to you in future

This sweetheart is just so concerned about upsetting you accidentally, it's a little overbearing at first honestly

But he has such good intentions and is asking lots of questions. Please feel free to tell him if you don't want to answer any, he's just curious and he cares about you.

Eddie wants to be beside you as much as he can to show you support, even if it's for something small like going to the salon while you change your hair.

He's sitting there patiently, and every time you look up at him he's just grinning with a big thumbs up!

Gotham!

Ah, okay of course! Please tell him your pronouns and any other things of importance when he refers to you

Are there any compliments/ words which you are uncomfortable with? What compliments would you be happier to recieve as well

He's probably one of the most well educated Eddie's on the topic and so he doesn't need any assistance with understanding it

He just wants to know the specifics of what works best for you :)

This goober also wants to give you something to celebrate this, but he goes for something smaller. Probably a cupcake with your flags colours, or something equally fitting (don't worry, no bullets in your cakes)

And he WILL celebrate this with you annually, he's got a great memory and to have your friendship continue so strongly, for years, means a lot to him

Arkham!

What, what was that?

What no, of course he isn't confused, he just didnt hear what you said because he was welding

Well, get on with it. If it's so important to interrupt his wor- Oh.. Oh so that is something, somewhat, important (This idiot also cannot apologise for the life of him, but listen, he's trying to acknowledge you)

(in his own way)

Clears his throat and tries to move on in a smooth manner, so you can advise him of the necessary points regarding this.

What you're wanting to do, if there's anything he needs to change about what he does regarding this

Listen, fuck the government and legally changing details, it's expensive bullshit. you let him know if there's any documentation you want changed and he'll hack into those databases and do it for you for free

Take it as a sign of congratulations from him.

Dano!

Okay so Gotham might be the most educated about this topic and be the most tactful

But Dano Riddler is a close second because he's actually known more trans people in the spaces he grew up in. Growing up Catholic, and catholic guilt can make it extra difficult for those already dealing with any dysphoria

So the first thing he does is ask how you're doing like, mentally

He is very ready to listen and let you vent if need be, or alternatively, he's relieved if you're doing well and don't really need to vent out your feelings or anything like that

he's awkward, but he gives you a lot of very sincere comfort. He offers you hugs whenever you want to, and is happy for you to cuddle up with him even while he's doing other things

He also takes you thrift shopping to find new clothes if you want to (sadly boy is broke after building all his traps so thrifting is his best suggestion) Or if you want he's happy for you to take some of his old clothes

Lets you know he loves you (platonically or romantically) and that he WILL kill any transphobes for you. And unlike unburied he will succeed. (especially if they're prominent political figures)

Btaa!

oh. OH! Well this is exciting!

First of all he's congratulating you and wraps you up in a big hug, he's happy you told him

Now, you guys have a very important heist to plan. He's gotta make sure you've got all the money you need for any gender affirming care including surgeries, clothes, hormones ect. you may want

PLUS the celebration partyyyy~

What, what do you mean you don't want a big party?

Obviously he want's to celebrate you coming out… You're one of the few people that enjoy his presence, he wants to show you how appreciated you are, AS you are.

Okay fineee, he's willing to compromise and downscale to a small thing with just you guys and Miss Tuesday. As long as you still let him get Miss Tuesday to go on an errand run and buy you a cake and your favourite snacks.

[bebx]

Thank you for responding back! I am glad that my texts had you having a "good kind of whoa" moment :)) Of course, I still remember your amazing participation with diversely intriguing takes in spite of mainly focusing on only a couple of characters throughout your peak era. You have been my gateway to Tumblr and to confidently celebrating my love for a show, its characters and dynamics so profoundly. And I am ecstatic that my introduction to the world of fandom thriving here happened with you unknowingly guiding me through its orientation. Because after I had to venture around on my own, despite behind the shield of lurker, I realized how toxic and vainly spiteful some people can be, all due to differing opinions, framing then harassing one another, overall devolving the ambience of this site to downright Instagram toxicity when they all should be equally rejoicing about their common subject of enthusiasm getting a feast and that just made me long for re-experiencing your peaceful way of practicing free speech more. You radiated a very warm, uncomplicated aura with an assertive mind, despite the blood and gore and other unconventional topics of interest, compared to the absolute exhaustion one suffers by just skimming through their blogs or archive which are otherwise also saturated with thought provoking analysis. So, it has been very grey haha when I had to go exploring independently and not remain reliant about any ST news or fanarts, especially concerning Hawkins Lab Plotline on your blogs anymore since November 2023. Brightest side of this rollercoaster exposure is that I discovered many others with alike interests as well as views! Although I have to sacrifice my morals and principles while checking out the posts of some of them who tend to have a very strangely twisted and unavoidably problematic side. I feel wrecked by guilt while liking their posts which are relevant to what I predominantly seek them for but then I remember "hey just because I like Harry Potter doesn't mean I will have to stand by J.K Rowling". So yeah...haha that helps in upholding the neutrality, but this just makes me miss the simple times more. You have been such a great source of collecting the finest qualities of fan materials either through your own blogs or the posts you reblogged. Very well researched and organized. It was an authentic and easy way for me to keep a track of all the most artistic crafts related to the fandom through the exhibition on your archive. This is why I previously said in my preceding text that I appreciate people with a good taste of art, referring to you. But I am also thankful for the opportunity of liberation and self-dependence this unforeseen phase paved a way to, resulting in various discoveries which may have missed your radar. So yeah this is pretty much why I still remember, I hope I have sketched a bigger picture of my timeline with everything here and how you play the key role in it. It's always the little things with bigger meanings. But this is not the only reason, this was just for starters, I will shed light on other factors ahead.

Secondly...(yeah Ik I have written so much, I should just stop but I just have so much more and vital stuffs to say which I hope you would like to hear too.) I never felt your posts were all silly other than the intentionally hilarious ones such as incorrect quotes and other memes which could make the day of anyone who is familiar with the show. Underneath or beyond the humor, I felt they had a lot of heart and soul. Which is precisely why I was so anticipated for the marriage between the new *gasp inducing as well as fulfilling* updates and your insightful approach, full of creativity and writing skills with your characteristic capturing of classic human themes that know how to intricately weave so much of complimenting theories, observations and heartbreaking as well as heartwarming stories around it which I religiously consider as some of the best and underrated fanfics out there. I don't know how much you have been aware with TFS spoilers as I am not sure what did you exactly mean by not stumbling upon any real spoilers but so many things you stood for when there was hardly any substantial evidence, it's like you literally spoke them into acknowledged existence. I am not gonna risk spoiling most of it for you but I would just say that you made a post once, commenting on a theory highlighting the potential relation between Vecna and Mindflayer, the question of the true master of puppet and "how each time a gate opened, a boy was taken" and that has aged so well, that's all I can say. Rediscovering that post gave me chills. So you see, so many of your interpretations have hit the bull's eyes, as without giving something massive away, the prequel has humanized his character extensively. Like this was everything JCB could have asked for since S4 released and poor guy had been alone taking a mysteriously empathetic stand for him in public, which we got pleasantly mystified by as it also vindicated our resonating defense deep down, so we followed after. Subsequently I had this inside joke from that time (Nov 2023) that, "Damn, the makers humanized him more than any fanfic ever did, even collectively." So, in a way, this is everything we could have asked for, ourselves. You have this incredible penchant for seeing beyond what's purposely being misleadingly narrated, once it got backed up by a vaguely but still authoritative source, you get to the bottom of all the potential alternatives. Trusting your instinct based on Jamie's subtle and interesting support paid off! You realized something so unpopular once and presented compelling reasoning points which were the closest to what it is canonically revealed ultimately. You perfectly encapsulated the soul of something or someone which was too monstrous for the majority to be a subject of deep thinking let alone any redemption, which can be magnificently seen through every fanfic, short or lengthy, you wrote about him and Eleven and not merely through some "peek into mind" insights posts here and there. This play literally calls for a celebration. You have been nearly a lone wolf, I mean yeah there were plenty others here however with your unique perspective and standard nevertheless differentiating from other stans, this was almost your sole battle which in my view has been surprisingly validated by the stage play so much, beyond expectation actually. Like a perfect reward for loyalty and dedication. I still am halfway through what I am here to convey, the text limit is gonna reach soon so, will share the rest on another upcoming part.

I read everything and this is one of the kindest things anyone has said to me. thank you for your kindness and authenticity, it means so much to me and it may have awoken that part of my Henry hyperfixation, that’s been laid dormant for a while, a little too.

I wish words could describe how grateful I am for you, but I’ve definitely screenshot these and saved them so I can come back to look at them later when self-doubt starts making its presence known.

thank you for being so thoughtful, supportive and kind. it means more to me than words could ever describe.

also, yes, I’ve seen The First Shadow trailer and it’s absolutely beyond expectations. I have no doubt that the play is exceptional in every way.

[darianias]

My view/TED Talk on Tengen Uzui and a platonic relationship with wives (not canon lol)

⚠️CW:⚠️ adult topics are addressed but nothing explicit is mentioned what so ever, probable typos everywhere, this is composes of half-awake ADHD tangents that wouldn't leave my mind so I'm writing it down so my brainw will chill and I can sleep lol. Meaning this isn't planned out in the slightest. No professionalism here. 😅 Also due to the tangental nature of this, don't take this as an attack on anyone or thing. Please. 🙏 That is the opposite reasons why I am posting this.

⚠️DISCLAIMER:⚠️ This talks about Tengen and his wives not being in love; despite me shipping it otherwise. (this isn't hate it's more so to help people be more comfortable and have access to more fics comfortably lol. I will not tolerate bigotry towards: polysexuals, polyromantics OR anyone LGBTQIA+. You will be blocked and reported.

Explanatory tangent about why I'm making this and QPPs:

feel free to skip the intro if you already understand lol the entire tangental for the most part anyay.

Into & brief? Personal QPP explanation

I'm writing this in the wee hours of the morning because I was trying to get settled to sleep reading fics... when I remembered that alot of people can't read a lot of Tengen fics as they're not into poly or aren't into women one way or another. It... somewhat bothers me that people get upset, but I also understand where people come from at least, as I just have a different mindset, and I think it could help some people's destress with this???

I am among those not really into women and am picky about polyships in general but esp with y/n. However, I am also aspec, specifically demisexual and demiromantic are the labels I'm most comfortable with in these cases. Why do I mention this? Well...

Among the #Asexual & #Aroromantic community we can feel and have relationships that can be labeled as Queer Platonic. (I imagine it can happen with any sexuality but that's not the point here.)

A Queer Platonic Relationship is a kind of strong platonic love that's stronger than just friendships but without the romantic or sexual feelings of a romantic or sexual relationship. It doesn't have to be between two people of the same sex or gender, it can be oppsites.

Also I'm not expert so do you research, a this is from a personal pov here to try and give an example.

I am in a Queer Platonic relationship of around 10 years now. The love I feel is just as real as others but it's different. In a way it's like how some animals become a bonded pair or set. I would do anything for her, but I would never feel comfortable or desire to kiss her, date her, or "sleep" with her. 🤢 Cuddles are the furthest I'd go and since we don't live alone we'd never do it around my dad, as most people don't seem to understand and I'd rather people not think we are in either of those kinds of relationships, but that's me. Other people in these relationships may feel differently and have different levels of comfort and confidence lol. My QPP and we each have our own wants and desires for other people... specifically fictional men for the most part. So sharing a bed is a nono and while we can share a room as we had to before- we respect each other's need for "alone time." Also snuggles and the like are human and mammalian nature, but society likes to just group it into two small boxes: young child/baby familial or romantic in nature. Which is weird when you think of our needs as a social animal or social mammal, it's not really healthy.

Anyway if you want to learn more, I suggest starting here:

Onto Tengen & His Wives

Anyway the POINT IS, in my head in tengen x y/n situations, tengen x sonas or tengen x other character but not in a poly way, I apply these types of feelings to. Hell I kind of do in canon as well, as for me the love and care he has for his wives is real, but I feel it more in a QPP way as I don't.... have any real vibes that tell me otherwise, regardless of them being canon. It's just how I vibe. I'm not against the relationship by any means as in aus not dealing with him as a main focus (these are private aus and my QPP and I are literally both Tengen simps and also ship him with Kyojuro), Tengen and his wives are very much are all in love with each other. So I'm not really against the actual ship or relationship. I do wish it was more fleshed out tho, I am overally more comfortable with the idea that everyone in the polycule love each other romantically and sexually in this case as otherwise it's uncomfortable for me. 😅 That's just how I like my Polyships.

With that in mind, I am comfortable with the idea of plantonic cuddle puddles, caring for each other, taking care of each other as long as it doesn't become romantic or sexual with the other women or between the trio and Tengen.

So... how do we begin to tackle this? Well look at some of the facts:

They were in an arranged marriage with prior relationships not being detailed whatsoever. Tengen didn't want to have 3 wives to use as tools as his ninja clan ruled. He wanted to save them from that fate as well.

While in canon they all did fall in love with Tengen there's many ways to take this relationship. They have some base level of care for each other be it friends, familial, QPP, romantically or so on.

Example 1:

One thing I like to do is ship the wives in their own polycule, but this is back in the day in Japan 🗾 so I sometimes apply the fact that with a divorce they all would be legally separated due to this, and Tengen whose relationship to them are more platonic, wouldn't do that to those dear to him. Meanwhile adding another wife is still more socially acceptable seemingly in this world albeit much isn't specified so we really just need to guess.

That is an idea I more so apply when reading fics rather than my own story creation.

Example 2:

A similar idea is that they all are in a way "trauma bonded", they went through hell and back together as ninja, and escaped from their clan, that isnt a simple or safe task when dealing with shinobi, ao them all joining the slayer corps makes sense. While they may not love each other romantically/sexually, they all love each other and are loyal to each other. You can take this ship the wives together or only two of them or find them partners outside of the group. Wanna ship Suma and Mitsuri or Makio and Giyu??? Go for it. They can join the family.

In the end...

I can kinda go on and on with tons of different examples, my point is, if possible, open your mind to these ideas, you can enjoy so much more of the fandom this way. Yeah there's no wives of wifeless fics and the like, but most people here are fine with being the 4th wife or an additional Husband or 4th significant other to Tengen. There's nothing wrong with that. But I see people get tense with that or annoyed and I can't help but feel this want to kind of bridge things if at all possible. There's ways you can enjoy many of these these fics, headcanons, scenarios, etc. without having to feel as though you have to be in an actual polycule if that's not your taste or thing.

End Statment

I am a NOBODY on this site, half of my small pool of followers are bots and the others mostly just followed be back/are moots??? I mostly like and reblog other people's things. My creations are mostly between my QPP and I and in our heads and random discord messages as just, we don't have the spoons to write or draw that stuff more often than not. 99% of it is entirely self indulgent lol. BUT there's a tiny chance this could help someone, y'know? Maybe it won't. Maybe it'll cause more problems. 😰😬 I'm not deep enough in any fandom to see drama and ship hate and the like. 😅 I'm more or less a fandom hermit in my own little corner or bubble. I am passionate about this series. I've been hyperfixating on it almost non stop for about a year now. 😅😂 I just want others to enjoy it as much as possible. As long as you're not being a bigot to others. 😌 So please don't think I'm trying to start crap, as long as what you ship is *legal* hint hint, nudge nudge. idgaf what you're into as long as you're not harming or harassing others lol.

Also getting these tangents out of my head makes it so my brain can settle down more lol ADHD is a pain in the ass at times.

[depleti]

HAP DA BORF! is there something(s) in your research you discovered that you wanted to use but couldn't fit into the story properly that you want everyone to know about right...NOW

Thank you for the birthday wishes!

This is a good question. It's probably less "I couldn't fit in it" and more "I didn't know about it to begin with." When I started TMK I had really only done cursory research into the Vikings, reading a couple of overview books to get the vibe and stuff going over the myths.

Since then I've continued to read more books and even some original sources. But THE BOOK about Vikings that I think everyone should read is Children of Ash and Elm by Neil Price. It's quite recent (2020) and full of information I hadn't read before. Price is a professor/chair of archaeology at Uppsala University so he knows what he's writing about. He also probably has access to information that hasn't been translated to English.

ANYWAY the book was full of "how have I not read about this before??" but probably the biggest surprise was learning about the fylgjur.

From the book:

The last part of the fourfold soul was something else entirely: a separate being that somehow dwelled inside every human, inseparable from them but also distinct. The fylga was a female spirit—always female, even for a man—and accompanied a person everywhere throughout life. How marvellous, and how utterly subversive of the male-focused stereotype, that every single Viking man literally had a spirit-woman inside him. The word fylga means 'follower,' although sometimes it is translated 'fetch' and equated with similar beings from neighboring cultures. The fylga was a guardian—a protector—but also the embodied link to one's ancestors (in some texts, they are strongly reminiscent of the dísir, and at times the two beings appear to be the same). She moved on at death, continuing down the family line (although exactly how is unknown—did the fylga wait for the next to be born, or could the person inherit one long after birth?). In any event, everyone carried with them—through them—the spirit of their family, watching over them and guiding their steps. The fylgjur could not be seen other than in dreams, where they appeared with warnings and advice. Of all the Viking-Age spirit-beings, these have proved the most tenacious. Modern Icelanders roll their eyes at being asked by visitors, again, if they believe in elves—but question them about the fylgjur and you may be met with a level stare and perhaps a change of topic.

How wild is that! I didn't know about the fylgjur before. In hindsight I like to think the Valkyrie that comes to collect Coal might be related to them.

The book is full of stuff like that, small things I never considered or hadn't been mentioned in other books about Vikings. I can't recommend it enough.

There are lots of aspects about the Vikings and Norse mythology I find fascinating that I can't really touch on in TMK. There's either no chance to mention them, or they don't match the theme. When you write historical fiction, you're not writing a historical story set in historical times, but a modern story set in historical times.

All the same, I'd definitely be interested in doing more Viking-related stories. There's a lot of inspiration to go around.

[nogenderbee]

Hello Bee! I hope you don't mind but, may i ask N25 headcanons with an autistic gn reader?

Also, i really love your writings they are amazing<33

Heya! I don't know about autism but I still hope I did it somehow right... anyway I just hope you enjoy and that I didn't hurt anyone feelings <3

Kanade, Mafuyu, Ena, Mizuki with autistic!reader

TagList: @no1mizukifan - come get your cute animator~

⊱ Kanade didn't noticed it as well so the only way for her to know that is by you telling her that

⊱ sure, she might've noticed your behavior that was a little different to her but she never got too into it since she didn't minded it

⊱ she definitely makes a little research about it to know more about this topic since she's not very familiar with it

⊱ when she discovers that you might be sensitive to sunlight, she completely understands you and suggests you won't go out and always have inside date

⊱ although others are quick to remind that humans need sunlight from time to time Honami is like your mom, prove me wrong

"Is it true you're sensitive to sunlight? If so, I'd be glad to just stick with inside dates. I mean... it's not like I enjoy being outside either..."

⊱ if you also have real problems with understanding others emotions then she'll be quick to explain it to you whenever she can

⊱ she honestly doesn't treat you any different unless you asked her for help or if she feels like you may use some little help in daily life

⊱ Mafuyu knows very well what autism goes with since she probably have been attending our still attends to some psychology classes

⊱ so even if you told her yourself, she probably already figures it all long ago and just didn't mentioned it

⊱ she finds it quite interesting that she can't find her true feelings and you have problem with reading them off people

⊱ if she's still in her 'good girl' mode, she'll treat you more kindly than she does others and of course will help whenever you ask her

⊱ if she's get usual self tho, she doesn't really care, although she still will help you if you ask her! Just not as smiley and kindly...

⊱ but that doesn't mean she's a total malicious to you, she's just not as 'eager' to help

"You need help with that? When do you want me to help? Because now, I would say I'm busy. So you can do it on your own, can't you?"

⊱ basically she makes even better research and maybe asks her mom to join psychology classes which of course she agrees since Mafuyu put effort in making good arguments

⊱ the only thing that might change in the way she's treating you is that she puts helping you higher then most things

⊱ Ena definitely was annoyed by some of your actions but didn't realize ti was because if autism

⊱ even if you tell her about yourself, she still will dhow hiw annoyed she is by some of your actions but she's never too mean about it

⊱ if someone else makes fun of you tho then oh boy, she'll protect you as if her own life and career would depend on it

⊱ then she realizes that you're not good with recognizing emotions and she feels a little guilty since you might haven't even notice when she was annoyed and thought that her 'it's nothing's were honest

⊱ so now you have her by your side whenever you need and she'll do everything in her power to help you best as she can

"Hey, if anyone ever says one mean word to you then you better tell ma that, okey? I have my way of dealing with people like that!"

⊱ if you're sensitive to sunlight, she'll probably bring sunscreen for you but later goes with Mizukis advice and gets you umbrella for sun protection

⊱ in the end, she treats you differently than others because you're her partner and not because of autism

⊱ Mizuki probably heard about autism here and there, and they even noticed some sygnale of it in you but decided to ignore it since they considered it a little mean

⊱ when you tell them the truth, they'll totally appreciate your honesty and will also be proud a little of themselves for actually thinking so before knowing it

⊱ if it happens that you took a like that's considered weird by society, they most likely would be interested in knowing more about it and maybe will take a like of it themselves

"That's not weird. Society thinks it's weird! And why should we care about it?! C'mon, tell me more about it! Because I'm reeaaaly interested now."

⊱ if you're also sensitive to sunlight, they'll buy you cute umbrellas that's purpose is to cover you from the sun

⊱ later, they probably buy one for themselves as well since they just found it so cute and decided that matching umbrellas would look amazing together

⊱ they don't treat you any different at all to be honest, they treat you just like they would treat their lover

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