#but other than that fuck men i mean “i was barely just surviving” i mean he really was

[norasghost]

so we know that conan gray is *very* sirius black, but memories is literally remus lupin after prisoner of azkaban and when sirius shows up to lay low at his

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

I wish women did not feel so strongly about the fact men, on average, are physically stronger than them. I feel like women have such negative feelings about this that it drives them to ridiculousness. Listen, I get it. I get it, I get it, I get it. The fact men are stronger is frightening. It’s scary to know that if a man decided to physically attack you then you are probably fucked. The USWNT, women who have spent years honing their skills on the field, lost to teenage boys who—when compared to the women—were basically just beginning to develop their talents. I understand how demeaning that can feel to every woman who hears this fact. I can imagine how demeaning it was for the USWNT. I’m sure every woman has been in a situation, playful or threatening, where they have tested their strength against a man and lost miserably. I’ve seen videos where women hit and slapped men with genuine rage and fury and the man barely even flinched. I understand how embarrassing and scary it can be to come to terms with the strength disparity between men and women, but you simply must come to terms with it. Far too many women have taken to pretending that it's not there—this is not a good approach.

Women choose to pretend it's not there because acknowledging that it's there makes them feel inferior. I ask women to remember that this world was built with the ideals of men in mind and to cater to their specific strengths. Men value strength and violence so of course the world is going to seem like those two things are all that’s valued in it. It's no coincidence that many male heroes are physically strong/easily able to cause harm—such as Naruto or John Wick or the Avengers. Of course it feels shitty, as a woman who inhabits this world, to have to acknowledge that your biology generally prevents you from being able to have the ‘can beat anyone in a fight’ type of strength that gets constantly praised.

However, I implore women to consider that men being physically stronger than them is no more of a significant fact than women being able to give birth while men cannot. Women also have biological advantages over men but when was the last time you saw a man calling himself inferior because of them? Imagine if the world was built with female advantages in mind. Imagine a world where the ability to give birth was seen as some sort of pinnacle of human worth. I mean, the ability to give birth is crazy. You are literally creating a whole new life. The female body is capable of providing the necessary tools to bring about a whole new person. Every brain that has thought of something life changing and every hand that has built something new was brought into existence by a woman’s reproductive system. Every single person that has ever so much as breathed was brought to life by a woman, but men never think women are superior for this fact.

Oh, but women couldn’t get pregnant without men, right? No. IVF exists. But even without it, the correct thing to say would be that women cannot get pregnant without sperm. A woman can get artificially inseminated. She never has to go out and find a man to have sex with. Is that not an advantage? Because, I mean, what can a man do if he wants to have a child but no woman is willing to give him one? Hire a surrogate? That comes with a list of complications, is far more intimate than artificial insemination, and is incredibly expensive. How is that not a disadvantage of being male? You may be thinking that you, as a woman, never want to become pregnant, but that is not the point!  The point is that it's arbitrary to look at biological advantages as anything other than completely neutral.

Women also survive famine better and live longer than men. Imagine a world where women held this over men’s heads? But we don’t live in that world. In this world, I’m certain a man would say that they die sooner because of being braver, taking more risks, and doing dangerous jobs. However, if it were women putting themselves in danger and dying as a result, men would not be quick to call us brave; they'd call us the opposite. Idiotic. Foolhardy. Too stupid to take the necessary precautions to keep ourselves alive.

It is just so painful to see women lamenting over the physical disparity between men and women. Let it go. Consider being neutral on the subject of biological advantage. Consider that male strength isn't something to pretend doesn't exist and isn’t something that proves women are inferior.

I understand that acknowledging vulnerability is against the survival Instinct—I get it—but come on. How can we let this get to a point where we’re saying it’s okay for males to enter female sports and beat the absolute crap out of/wipe the floor with women? Them being stronger is neutral! It does not mean anything! But it’s fact. Pretending it’s not only serves to put women in a losing position. Pretending it’s not only serves to make women into a laughing stock. Men will gladly collect medals that belong to women—they’ve been doing that forever. If there was no reason for male and female leagues then there wouldn’t be any. You cannot deny your way into something being true. I also wish it were true that the average woman was evenly matched against the average man, but it’s simply not reality. In the same way that it’s not reality that the average woman is taller than the average man.

I am begging women to think neutrally about this topic instead of being in such deep turmoil over it that they open the door for men to walk all over us.

[qwimblenorrisstan]

Surprise | Soap x Reader

Summary: After a mission that they barely survived, Ghost leads the team to a safe place to stay, his half-sister’s apartment.

Word Count: ~ 1.6k

Warnings: mentions of death, blood, missiles, etc

A/N: first time writing for cod…hope you enjoy, lmk what to do for part 2!! (also here is what I had in mind for the apartment layout, if you’re like me and can’t picture buildings in your head)

Requests are open!

Masterlist | Next

Their mission had gone to complete shit.

It had started relatively simple compared to the other missions they’d been doing, with Russians, cartels, Mexican forces, and whatnot. They’d been shipped out to America, a suspected terrorist group that had been working for General Barkov when he’d been killed.

A group that had now gone rogue, and rumor was that they were headed to Britain, holding a missile for transport that had been stolen from a covert American base. The Americans weren’t taking it too well, but that was to be expected.

“We don’t have enough information to know who they are, you just need to get that missile transported, and get out of there.” Laswell had told them.

“Sounds easy compared to what we do every mornin’, right Lt?” Soap had said with a grin, nudging him with an elbow slightly, and he had only given a grunt in response, still processing information.

“Easy” his arse.

Sent to one of the states at first, they’d tracked down this supposed terrorist group, apparently it being a lot larger than they originally expected. A lot larger.

It was only because of the intel Gaz had gotten his hands on that they’d been able to locate the missile while it moved, it being located in a broken-down warehouse near Galveston, Texas. Right near the Gulf of Mexico, if they were planning on taking it to sea to travel with it.

And when they’d stormed the warehouse?

A total mess. Unorganized and sloppy.

Soap had blown the door, and they’d planted charges around to detonate for the men guarding the missile but had underestimated just how many there would be. It was crawling with them, more confirmation that they’d been informed somehow beforehand of Task Force 141.

Men in vents, ceiling panels, underneath desks, and hiding behind cabinets, doors, anything.

The missile had only been taken out because of air support, the same air support that had nearly been shot down and taken out, when a heli had finally come in to reprieve them while snatching that missile up and getting the hell out of there.

That didn’t solve the problem of the men everywhere, though. The charges that had been meant to blow some to pieces had been botched, and with all the gunfire, they would attract unwanted attention. Police were already investigating, conveniently turning a blind eye to Price and the rest of his force. It wasn’t a coincidence. Not when Shepherd had a history of paying people off to keep them quiet.

But that wasn’t their problem, right now, Ghost was trying to devise a way to get them the hell out of America, or at least out of goddamn Texas. Of all the places to be stuck in.

“Laswell, where the hell is our exfil?”

He radioed over, crouched down on the roof of a building, taking out whoever he could from it. Many of the men in the terrorist group weren’t a bad shot either, so he decided to keep his head relatively low.

“Negative, Ghost.” Price’s voice responded.

“The hell does that mean?”

“We aren’t leaving. Too many men still here, Kate wants us keeping eyes on ‘em.”

“Bloody fucking hell..”

They had decided to regroup at an old church down the road, Soap was a little banged up, with more than a few cuts and bruises, and Gaz dealing with a minor head injury he’d gotten when someone had tried to smash his skull in with a gun, and Price donning a decent sized cut to the arm.

“This is a covert mission. We can’t stay at a hotel or anything of the like, so where are we going?” Gaz asked, and Price paused for a moment, looking a bit unsure, which made sense considering this had been a get-in-get-out mission before it had changed. Before he could open his mouth to speak, Ghost spoke.

“I know someone, but they’re a long ways away.”

~ 3:48 A.M.~

A knock that was more like a banging on your door woke you up from your light sleep as you quietly sat up in your bed, standing and tiptoeing over to the front door of your spacey apartment.

It was large, for the price. But considering you were working for the landlord at a local restaurant, as he was the general manager there as well, it made sense.

The apartment held two spare bedrooms, and a nice living room connected to a kitchen with a table in it you liked using. Two bathrooms, one in the hallway where your room was in, another connected to a guest bedroom. A little balcony, which came in handy when one of your friends wanted a smoke break when over at your place.

Palming the closed hunting knife still connected to your pants and hanging loosely, you figured you were safe enough to answer the door, and looking through the peephole, you saw four men.

Military, and the one in the Ghost mask…

Opening the door, your face now annoyed, you stared him dead in the eye. Didn’t even glance at the others.

“We need a place to stay. A month or two at most.”

His low and rough voice, donning a British accent, said. It was louder than you remembered him being, but then again, he wasn’t the scared little Simon that you’d known anymore, scared of the abusive father you’d both shared. He wasn’t the Simon who mumbled or spoke quietly anymore.

A silent conversation passed between you two at the door, a thick silence passing over the entire group. The other men stared. Your eyes narrowed, a nonverbal question.

Are you on a mission?

He didn’t move for a moment, no doubt thinking of the information he could share with you. Another reason for your eventual fallout, the fact that he wouldn’t ever share with you anything if what he did. It was always to keep you safe.

Eventually, he gave a tiny, near imperceptible nod. On a mission. Of course, he would come to you while on a mission, dragging you into it. It wasn’t like you were helpless against attackers, not at all, but they’d had some crazy shit happen to them over the years, and that was just from what you’d overheard.

With a resigned sigh, you looked over at the other men he’d brought.

A taller man, with a beard, and a bucket hat. He looked like he had authority. A man on the shorter end, with some scruff, a mohawk, and a poorly restrained cheeky smile. The last man was darker, an almost caramel brown, with short hair, cleanly shaven, and a hat on.

Military men, clearly, but if Simon was willing to trust them around you, then you didn’t count them much as a threat right now.

“Names.”

You said flatly, and the Mohawk-one’s brows raised before replying.

“You can call me Soap-“

“I mean your name, not your shitty military nickname.”

You interrupted bluntly, clearly not in the best mood after being woken at 3 AM because of Simon Riley. “Soap” raised his hands in a mock gesture of innocence.

“Easy, lass. It’s Johnny, if you must know.”

Scottish, then. You could tell by the accent. The taller one spoke.

“John Price.”

The prettiest of the group spoke with a little smile that could’ve fooled you for not being faked.

“Kyle.”

Giving them all one last flat, surveying look, you jerked your head into the apartment, walking in.

“Two guest bedrooms down that way, bathrooms down the hall, there’s a balcony if you want a second exit. Don’t break anything.”

You said simply, and they walked in, looking tired as hell and covered in bandages. However, you weren’t going to let this go. Not right now.

You grabbed Simon by the arm, and he stiffened, stopping.

“You and I are going to have a little talk, Simon.” You said, dragging him into your room, and shutting the door behind you as he sighed, pulling his mask off. Blond hair and lashes came into view, as well as baby blue eyes.

“What the fuck were you thinking, bringing-“

You began, pissed as hell. He hadn’t contacted you in years, not since his mom had died, and with your shared father already dead, you’d been shoved into foster care.

“We’re all injured. We can’t stay anywhere we can be easily found. This area isn’t as well registered, and we’ll be gone in a month.” He spoke simply as if it wasn’t anything to get upset or emotional about.

You took a breath and breathed it out. Stay calm.

“I’m not talking about the mission, Simon.”

He seemed unused to being called his real name. At least, by the stiffening of his shoulders, you guessed so.

“There’s nothing else to talk about.”

He said gruffly, turning to open the door and leave. You stepped in his way, and he stared down at you, unamused. You were barely 5’6, and he was 6’2, so it was quite the height difference.

“You can’t run from your problems forever, Simon.”

You said, hands on your hips, and he simply picked you up, placing you beside him as he opened the door and walked out. Always running from his problems.

It was surprisingly unsurprising.

~ 4:07 A.M.~

“You want to explain who the hell that is, Simon?”

Price asked gruffly from where they were all gathered in one of the guest rooms. Simon paused his quiet pacing for a moment to reply.

“My half-sister.” He answered, and a silence fell over at that. The only sibling they knew he had was Tommy, and Tommy was long dead at that. A few seconds passed, before Soap, in the bathroom connected to this particular guest room, combing his Mohawk and going through his haircare routine, spoke up.

“She’s a real bonnie lass.” Johnny said with a grin, and Simon sighed.

“English, MacTavish.”

“She’s hot as fuck, sir.” The Scotsman said, and there was a small, disappointed sigh from Gaz, who already knew he’d have to patch up Soap from Ghost, who was fuming silently.

[cowgurrrl]

i love oftm fam so much 🥹 i would love literally any updates on them :)

OFTM GANG RISE UP 🗣️🗣️🗣️

How Could I Not Love You?

Pairing: rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader

Author’s note: this isn’t my favorite but I miss them desperately

Summary: “You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” [2.5k]

Warnings: newborn stuff, angst, the Garcia-Long family coming in clutch, god they are so in love it hurts, smutty dialogue toward the end but no smut because I chickened out

You don't know that you've ever been this tired. The girls have been in the world for a whopping two and a half months, and you feel like you've been awake for the entirety of those two months. None of the Miller kids are particularly good sleepers— even Sarah didn't sleep through the night until she was two and a half, which Joel conveniently forgot to tell you when you talked about having kids— but with the addition of the girls, it feels much harder. They wake up at different times throughout the night to feed, get changed, or be held, which complicates the rotation. Also, Sam's sleep schedule has regressed, and he's up at random times. Having three under five is not all it's cracked up to be.

You love Joel, and you love watching him be a dad, but your relationship has suffered through the just-barely-surviving stage of having newborns. You try to make time to watch a movie or just talk, but whenever you do, someone starts crying. Even if you're able to sit down for more than five minutes without a kid needing something, you're half-asleep and in no shape for a conversation. 

It didn't hit you how much of a toll it's taken on you until you were up for one of the late-night feeds with Violet, and he lay there, watching you through the darkness. You turned to look at him and reached out with your free hand to smooth down some stray hair. He smiled sleepily and turned to kiss your wrist before whispering, "I miss you." You wanted to say that he doesn't need to miss you, and you're right there, but you weren't. Not really.

"I miss you, too," you whispered back, feeling the sting of the truth on the back of your tongue. You wanted to say more—to remind him how much you love him and tell him how you couldn't do this without him—but Sophia's tinny cry closed the window of opportunity before it could fully open. 

You love your kids. You couldn't imagine anything better than watching them grow and interact with each other. They are so wanted and loved, but it still feels really fucking hard. You're sitting on the couch, feeding a baby while Joel bounces another and plays Army men with Sam, feeling like a horrible wife and mother, when the lock turns on your front door and your second family enters.

Carolina, Ryan, Elizabeth, Victoria, and Penelope descend upon your living room like well-meaning vultures, and you give them a confused look. Penelope immediately runs to Sam, and they embrace in their awkward toddler way before they scurry off to his room to play. Victoria, now nine and looking more like Carolina every day, gushes over Daisy. Elizabeth, in her teenage grace, plops down next to you on the couch and squeezes you, trying not to disturb Sophia too much.

"What are you doing here?" You ask Carolina, looking at her like she's a saint, and she smiles. 

"I heard you could use a break," she says. You're about to argue with her and insist that you've got everything under control, but she stops you. "We have two and a half adults, play buddies for Sam and Daisy, and nothing to do for the rest of the day. Plus, I've been itching to hold a baby." She explains. You turn to look back at Joel, who is now babyless and standing next to a baby-equipped Ryan, and give him a look.

"Did you do this?" You ask.

"Would it be the worst thing in the world if we went to dinner alone?" Just the idea of an actual dinner is enough to make you waver. You've both been living off of takeout and Sam's leftovers since the girls were born, and you're dying for a change of scenery. There's more than enough frozen breastmilk in the fridge for the girls, and they're at ease with their aunt and uncle. Sam is ecstatic to have someone to play with, and Daisy looks excited to get some attention. Surely, a few hours couldn't hurt. 

"Fine, but you can't make me wear pants." 

"Wouldn't dream of it," Joel says. Once Sophia is done feeding, you hand her off to Carolina and show Elizabeth where everything is. They don't need a rundown of everything a newborn needs, but it makes you feel better to ramble about their routine to make sure it all gets done. 

With all the kids placated, you and Joel sneak off to your room to change out of the clothes you've been wearing for God knows how long. You put on a maxi dress and spray dry shampoo in your hair while Joel buttons up a nice shirt. 

"Thank you," you say as you put on earrings, glancing at him in the mirror. “You didn't have to do this." He gives you a confused look but shakes it off with a quick kiss to your cheek.

"I wanted to. You deserve a break."

"We deserve a break," you correct, and he hums as he wraps an arm around your waist. Even though he hasn't been dealing with postpartum and breastfeeding problems, he's still been in the trenches with you. For a quiet minute, you stand together and take a breath for the first time in months. Yeah, you desperately needed this. 

You quickly finish getting ready before your plans can get thwarted and are shooed out of the house by Carolina and Ryan. They promise to text you updates and have everyone in bed on time, but don't pressure you to come home early. "We've got this," Carolina says with enough conviction that you can believe her. Still, your anxiety spikes once you're down the driveway, and you have to convince yourself that everything is okay. Joel grabbing your hand and asking you a question pleasantly distracts you. 

The autumn sun slowly sets over the California hills and casts a golden glow over Joel's face, catching the grays in his hair and beard beautifully. He's fifty now and older than he ever thought he'd be. He told you as much on the night of his birthday, along with his fears of being an older dad and husband. "I just don't wanna miss anythin'," he said. You reminded him that he was only fifty and he's in exceptional health for someone who spent most of his thirties and forties making music and bouncing around the world on tours. Plus, aging looks good on him. 

You talk about little things like how he's scribbled lyrics onto a notepad he keeps beside the bed or how Daisy has adjusted to having three little kids around instead of one. You're in the middle of saying something when he makes a familiar turn, and you can't stop the laugh from leaving you as the restaurant comes into view. 

"Are you serious?" You ask, looking at him with a big smile, and he shrugs.

"What?" He asks, as if he's not stopping in front of the restaurant where you had your first (contractually obligated) date. 

"Joel, we haven't been here in…" you trail off as you do the mental math before gasping. It's ten years to the day of your first date. Guilt immediately pools at the base of your spine, but Joel just sits there with a smirk on his face. "Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I didn't even realize. I've been so caught up with Sammy and the girls and-" he leans over the center console and kisses you before you can continue rambling. 

Normally, you make it a point to remember days like this. Your first date, breaking up, getting back together, getting engaged, getting married, all of it. That's why it's so shocking that you forgot about it, and on a milestone year, no less. 

"I'm so sorry." You say, and he shakes his head. 

"I didn't say anything, so it could be a surprise," he says. "I called Caro and Ryan about a month ago to set this up, and I rented out the whole restaurant, so it's just us. We don't have to worry about cameras or fans or anythin'." 

Of fucking course, he would do something like this. You sigh and drop your head to his shoulder. 

"I didn't even get you anything." You mumble guiltily. He chuckles and kisses your temple.

"You just had two of my kids. I think that's more than enough." He says. You could spiral about feeling like a bad partner (how could you forget when your life together started?), but you have plenty of time for that. For dinner, however, you're on the clock. So, you push the thoughts away for now and stare at your husband fondly.

"I love you so much it's stupid," you say, and he smiles.

"Right back atcha, baby." He says. Much like he did on your first date, he gets out first and gives the car keys to the valet before opening your door for you. You take his arm and walk into the restaurant with him. There's no need for a hostess since there's only one table set up in the space, and it's impossible to miss it. Beautiful flowers surround the table, already set with a bottle of wine and a bouquet of red roses like the ones he turned up at your door with. He pulls your chair out for you and steals a kiss before moving to the other side of the table. Light, romantic music plays over the speakers, and the candle flickers in the middle of the table. It's perfect. 

The bottle of wine is from the year you were married, and it has a special label bearing both your names. You haven't had any wine for almost a year, and Joel, knowing this, evidently pulled out all the stops. He pours each of you a glass and raises it in a toast. "Thanks for going on a second date with me," he says, and you laugh. 

"Thanks for giving me a reason to." You say and clink your glass against his. The wine is amazing, and it's not just because you haven't had any in so long. You spend some time catching up with each other and talking about nothing important until a very nice waiter comes by to take your orders. Besides the waiter coming and going, you're left alone with Joel, with nobody crying or asking you for anything. It's nice, if not a little strange. 

You take your time eating and drinking and giving Joel your full attention. You laugh together and get butterflies when he kisses your hand or brushes his knee against yours. It's a little silly to get so worked up over such small gestures, but it's been a hot second since you've had adult time, so you figure it's fair. God forbid you still find your husband attractive. 

In the middle of dessert, a special request of Texas Trash Pie— which doesn't come close to his mother's but is still delicious— you look up from the dish and find whipped cream in his beard. You snort a laugh at the sight, and Joel furrows his brows.

"What?" He chuckles. You gather your napkin in your hands and reach out to wipe his face, not unlike you do with your son, and he blushes a little when he realizes what was making you laugh. "Can't believe you still like a mess like me." He says before taking another bite and somehow getting more on his face. Once you're full and pleasantly tipsy from the wine, you scoot your chair closer to Joel, and his hand finds a home on your thigh. 

You can't stop staring at him. You track the changes you've watched unfold over the past decade: a little more grey on his temples, the creases next to his eyes a little more prominent, and his hair a little longer. He still has that indescribable sparkle in his eye that you think can only be a product of his joy. Your heart squeezes when it only intensifies as he looks at you. 

"We've been together a long time," you say, and he hums. "Ten years, five kids, one dog, three finished albums, and one in the works."

"And four movies, an Academy Award, and how many others?" Joel chimes in, never the one to just accept praise, and you roll your eyes playfully.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever," you say, making him smile. You grab his left hand and trace his gold wedding band back and forth and back and forth a few times before you look at him again. "I mean, considering everything, we've done pretty well for ourselves. Can you handle ten more years with me?"

"I'd take a hundred more years with you." He says so quickly it takes your breath away. "I'd do it all over again if it meant this would be our life." 

"Even though we have to change shitty diapers and get no sleep?" You ask, the question betraying the sudden tears, and he laughs.

"There are worse things." Like thinking you'll never see each other again. Like running out of time. Like never seeing him in our children's faces. Yeah, there are much worse things. You take a deep breath and squeeze his hand. 

"I love you." You whisper like you told him you missed him not even a week ago. 

"I love you, too." He whispers back as he kisses you sweetly. The waiter lets you linger for another half an hour before dropping the check and very politely tells you they'll be closing soon. Joel leaves a big tip as an apology for staying so late and personally thanks all the staff who worked to make this possible. He's all Southern charm and manners, even as you leave the restaurant and wait for the car. 

"Thank you for tonight." You say, and Joel gives you a look. 

"Y'know, we don't have to go back just yet. The kids are all in bed. Carolina and Ryan said to enjoy each other." He says, and you squint at him, a smirk pulling on your lips.

"And what would we do with all that extra time?" 

"I might've reserved a room in a hotel nearby, just in case. We can order breakfast to the room early and be home before the kids wake up." 

"Do Caro and Ryan know about this?" You ask, but you already know the answer. You scoff a little and shake your head before stepping close to him. "You must've been really desperate to fuck your wife to plan all this, huh?" Your lips brush against the shell of his ear, and you swear, you feel him shudder. 

"Don't worry, baby. I'm gonna take such good care of you."  

TAGLIST: @abbyhaslongshorts @kiwiharrykiwi @sumsworldz @myloveistoolittle @anavatazes @marantha @cosmoscoffeee @shyminnie07 @beezusvreeland @eddiemunsonsbedroom @harriedandharassed @doodlebob-mp3 @ignorethksplz2004 @buckyispunk @d1lf-loverrr @vee-bees-blog @moel-jiller @anoverwhelmingdin @casssiopeia @maried01 @acupofhollie

[lunarw0rks]

cod dudes with a nurse y/n but make it lowkey realistic: bc lets be real, after a 12 hr shift you do NOT want to hang out with friends, party, or socialize. ur feet hurt from walking and standing all day, your ears are tired from hearing the IV pumps beep all day, and the smell of C.diff makes u want to vomit. nurse y/n just wants to sit down or lay on the couch and be non-verbal... Gaz, price, and rudy are the sweetest. they pick that up real quick after mistakenly asking "hows ur shift" and y/n trauma dumped them for 5 hrs straight. they don't immediately ask for hugs and kisses bc they know u overwhelmed. they just pour u a cup of wine and sit next to you until YOU talk to them first. you lowkey gossip with them on ur day off or randomly be like "omg look at that dude over there next to the parking spot its giving edema". and then theres soap and ghost. Soap is clingy, yall really think hes gonna survive 12hrs of not seeing you? this man was waiting by the door at 7:15 pm. on the dot. wants to hug and kiss you and tell you about his day. but ur just so. fucking. tired. you tried to be as responsive but it always ended up with a tired "mhm". He legit got upset a few times but he'd be a good sport about it tho. eventually he caught on a couple of weeks in and now he just comes and hugs you from behind, kisses ur face, and cuddles you silently (AFTER you throw away ur dirty scrubs and shower. that C.diff smell is yucky yucky). Tells you he appreciates your care and effort for the patients every day :). Ghost.... omgg he said something lowkey offensive to you right after u got home from the worst shift of ur week. and he didnt even know WHAT he said/did, hes kinda bad a picking up ur cues. nurse y/n just turned around slowly, gave him the NASTIEST side eye, and stared at him for a good 2.5 min. This man immediately retreated from ur couch to wherever he was b4 like a hermit going back to its shell lmao. 2 hrs later you find a small written note and ur fave gurl dinner on the dining table.

Alejandro..... this man is SO PROUD of his s/o being a nurse. hes showing you off every chance he gets!!! He takes Nursing week SERIOUSLY. give you massages, spas, gifts, ect. but he doesnt get how tired and overwhelmed you are. you have to physically tell him to stop asking or letting his family asking medical question. "No ale. I will NOT look at auntie's mole on her stomach. when im off the clock im OFF THE CLOCK :("

Valeria threatens to beat up the management for you lol. she hates how you get treated by them sometimes. you didnt get the recognition you deserve. Def bosses her cartel men around to buy you gifts and such. one time she organized a whole day to spoil and pamper you. she gave you her own version of Daisy Award 🥺💞 Konig observes and internally analyzes ur every move. he panics tho. like "OMG she home but she already has a bottle of wine its different from the one she had yesterday.. omg omg she didnt even say hello that means her shifts was extra shitty today.... why is she sipping on the wine for so long and the last sip is longer than all previous sips........" He eventually learned you just need silent company. you were laying on the bed feeling burned out when he came over with some soup, kissed ur hand, and wrapped you in a blanket burrito :).

ah, realistic nurse!y/n. this is a breath of fresh air for me.

they're all trying their best. and honestly, what better pair? they also have an overstimulating, kinda gross (blood and bodily fluids), exhausting career !!

it's a match made in heaven !! (aside from the whole... miscommunication and barely seeing each other thing. but what's a good ship without some gut-wrenching angst?)

[judesmoonbeauty]

Roger Barel - My Thoughts So Far...

Hiii everybody! I just wanted to drop a review/my thoughts on Roger’s route so far, this all about chapters 1-5. I’m anticipating a lot exciting events after his CE is completed, so I’m trying not to delve into my resources too much, which means I'm reading only 1 chapter a day. I think after every five chapters or so, I will write my thoughts about it. Spoilers will be included, they won’t be super detailed, but they are there below the cut.

Okay so in short: I LOVE his route so far, it’s been great. I laughed pretty much in every chapter so far about something or another. Of course, this is just the beginning and I fully anticipate angst, heartache and drama. I CRAVE it. I haven’t really spoilers about his route, except for one and it’s pretty major, so I’m going to leave that out for now and circle back to it when I read it for myself.

Roger’s Kate So Far:

I LOVE her. I mean I LOVE Kate anyway, but she feels very real to me in the outset.

She is very dead set on NOT falling in love. All she wants to do is survive Crown and get out of there, and it’s nice to see that sense of urgency from her. Not to say that she doesn’t have that desire in the other routes, because she does, but I feel like she really stresses that point in the first five chapters. And understandably so, I mean she’s living in a castle filled with men who kill for a living, and it’s emphasized how she hasn’t laughed/smiled once since coming to the castle, or has barely eaten anything. So, seeing her undergo that stress (poor kid), is refreshing in a way because I feel like in other routes Cybird just glosses over the toll that would take on someone.

She’s a drinker (HELL YEAH). She’s gotten wasted twice so far in the first five chapters. The morning after’s were quite adorable (at least I think so.)

She wants to get stronger and become a fighter because she wants to ensure her survival, so we see her taking self-defense lessons with Roger and Ellis, in order to better herself. And I don’t about you, but I STAN A QUEEN WHO CAN FIGHT. So, I’m excited and I can’t wait to see more from our precious Kate.....

Roger So Far:

So…….I never expected a part of Roger’s route to tackle the fact that he doesn’t believe in love. I don’t know why??? But when I learned that we were going that route, I was happy with it. It’ll be interesting to see how his mind and heart is becomes convinced that love is more than just a bunch of neuro-chemicals and physiological reactions. He is brutally upfront about his lifestyle choices and beliefs - I appreciate that. For example, he’s just like when I get the urge to fuck, I fuck. Of course, he has stipulations to that - both parties mutually consent that they fuck only one time (with Kate being the exception to rule for an entire month as long as she keeps quiet to the others about it).

To be honest, I didn’t like this rule because I feel like it hit too close to home with Jin’s rule with women he get’s physically involved with. (FOR THE RECORD: I’m not comparing the two guys. I’m just saying it reminded me of it.)

Moving on, I just wheezed for a good moment when he compared Kate to his family’s corgi - Ale. Like he’s not saying it to be mean or derogatory, just the way describes her getting worked up, depressed, digging her own grave, etc. It was cute and hilarious. Loved it and I LOVE ALE!

Roger’s Relationships With Others:

Nica: Chapter 1 had me in tears when Roger interrupted Nica’s hitting on Kate. His face was priceless and then to be stuck with Victor as a tour guide. Cherry on the top. Gold star for Roger. C’mere Nica, I’ll comfort you…..

Ellis: He drinks with Roger along with Jude, and he helps Roger with Kate’s self-defense training. I’m sure they’re going to be more involved. I expect it because in Ellis’ Blind Love route, Roger says that he betrayed Ellis’ cursed predecessor and that’s a reason why he’s like a big brother to Ellis. He also wants Ellis as his assistant as he feels that he’s too good for Jude, which I think most of us knew beforehand.

Alfons: Well…..we know how “well” they get along. I was dying in chapter 4 - I think it was - when Kate, Roger and Al are on a mission. They’ve determined recreational drugs are being used, so they’re going to go break it up, and that’s when Al & Roger get into this squabble outside the room they’re supposed to being busting into about whether or not it’s okay to use the drugs or not. Al of course, doesn’t see the big deal with it since he is a firm believer in escaping reality, and Roger basically tells him that when a person runs from reality instead of facing it that it just leaves them more empty - Al is just over it and is like you make me want to vomit in his dead pan face. Poor Kate is like ‘we can’t be doing this right now’. Proper school boy frenemies these two are.

Jude: He’s been featured a lot and that’s because his route should be dropping next (fingers crossed), but he is also a Roger drinking buddy and in the Past Records event, Jude & Roger agree to be drinking buddies in hell together…..if there is alcohol in the after life. Of course, he sees Roger quite a bit for injuries he gets, and when Jude asks why Roger is even bothering with Kate, Roger basically tells him that she is trying to survive, and it’s appealing to him. “A small dream, a goal….even small things to survive somehow. Isn’t it the same for you, Jude?” Jude lore??? More on that later in a Jude dissection I’m writing.

Notable Things So Far:

Roger treats the Crown members in exchange for their blood samples. We learn this in chapter 5 when he treats Jude.

Roger’s father doesn’t have a problem coming to the castle to have his son dog sit. I thought this was interesting. It doesn’t seem that he fears the cursed on the whole, and I’m sure that’s due to his knowing Roger is cursed. That’s nice. He seems like a supportive father (I HOPE I’m not wrong.)

Roger create’s a Robin Growth Chart - this is to help her become strong and survive, but also to teach Roger that romantic love is something that is true - not just a biological concept. He’s already noticed a change in his HR (heart rate), when Kate is around, so I wonder how long it’ll take for him to fall.

Favorite Scenes So Far:

Nica losing Kate to Roger.

Ring wondering if Kate and Roger are together - OMG I WANTED TO GOBBLE HIM UP!

Jude’s reaction to Ale jumping into his arm. So DAMN cute!!! Okay, so I am a cat person, but I’ve been dog sitting for one of my BFFs for the past two weeks (I love her), and I was reading this scene as her poodle was curled up next to (like she literally is on top of me every chance she gets), and Jude said: “…..Whaddya doin’, don’t jump on me, it’s hot.” Then he starting grumbling to Kate and Roger about holding onto Ale better, and asks if they were abandoning their duties while Kate’s like: “Oh, ….Jude please hold it more gently.” LMAO. Just picturing him holding this doggo awkwardly was the funniest shit ever, and adorable and we have the same doggo energy. Love them, but don’t jump on me please.

The self defense class with Roger & Ellis - I’m not sure if many of you know, but currently Ellis is my #2. I ADORE him. He is twisted and precious and I love him, and I get just as excited when I see him on the screen as I do Jude. Him sparring Roger just squeezes my heart so much.

Any scene with Roger and Al. Love it.

K, I should go translate or do something more useful........

[sserpente]

A/N: Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! ♥ Requests from @incurablyromanticsblog​ and six (!) anons. I had so many super short requests that wouldn’t have made a whole story on their own, so now… here we have a spicy-President!Loki-Bonnie-and-Clyde-like-but-somehow-also-fluffy-Valentine’s-story! Enjoy, everyone!

Words: 4768 Warnings: succubus!Reader, smut, fluff, violence, poison, imprisonment, blood, starvation

Moaning in a satisfied manner, you rolled over, letting the warm morning sunlight warm your naked skin. The sheets shifted a little during your movement, revealing your bare back to the barely awake God of Mischief resting next to you on the enormous king-size bed his magic had conjured up.

You shivered when his long digits ghosted over your spine, leaving goosebumps in their wake. “Good morning, pet,” he purred, his mischievous smirk speeding up your heartbeat in an instant.

“Morning…”

“Are you hungry?” His left eyebrow rose a little, daring you to an answer. You smiled, your eyes falling back shut.

“I’m good, actually. Not many men keep me up all night, you see.”

Loki chuckled. “There are no men like me, I can assure you.”

You had been fucking like wild animals for the past few weeks now. The sexual tension had been growing ever since you two met and when the God of Mischief found out you were a succubus… he offered you to feed on him in exchange for pleasure. He was different from the other men—the men back home who didn’t treat you like more than a body to have sex with because you needed it to survive anyway—no. Loki saw you. He saw your desires, saw your will and your persistence to survive after you had confessed your life story to him.

That you had fled your home to not be married off into a harem. To not serve incubi and their mortals men-slaves as warm a warm body to keep their cocks warm. Loki must have been sent to you by fate. When he told you about the Tesseract—an ancient artefact powerful enough to send you to different dimensions—you were intrigued and he had proposed a deal.

Help him, become his ally, and in return, he would ensure the blue cube would send you wherever you wished. You scoffed into the soft pillow. When you’re on the run, it was easier to flee to another dimension altogether. They wouldn’t search for you or find you there.

There wasn’t much you knew about Loki aside from the fact he was an Asgardian God and a Frost Giant by birth. You had learned quickly enough his adoptive father had neglected him and that his brother, Thor, was irritable enough for him to curse his very existence even though part of him loved the God of Thunder.

Having sex with him started out as a means to an end—to help with the constant sexual itch lingering between you two, a distraction as you raided Midgard for the Tesseract like a modern Bonnie and Clyde, leaving nothing but chaos and havoc behind. But then, one innocent morning, when he had still been asleep peacefully and you’d watched his relaxed features, stroking his gorgeous cheekbones… you realised you had fallen for him. Loki was an outsider much like you. He was mischievous, intelligent and oh, he could be so deliciously evil if things didn’t go his way.

Just now, you had lied to him. You were hungry again already. But if you fed on him now, a quick fuck would likely turn into Loki chaining you to the bed and having his way with you until you could all but whimper his name, over and over again. It wouldn’t be the first time.

You had work to do. The Tesseract had last been located in a government facility here in New York—a place Loki was only too keen on keeping away from even though he had no intention of letting you know why.

“I will get dressed and head down to the facility, lurk about and spy a little. I’m sure I’ll find a security hole within an hour.”

“Now?”

“Yes, now. We need the cube sooner rather than later.”

Loki frowned, propping himself up on his elbows when you stood. Stark naked, you tiptoed through the room in search of your clothes that were scattered all over the floor thanks to your uncontrolled passion last night.

You resisted the urge to jump back into bed and lick every single inch of his godly body. His naked upper body looked gorgeous in the sunlight shining through the open windows. You hadn’t bothered closing the curtains yesterday.

“You have barely slept, pet. It will take time to retrieve the Tesseract. You don’t know the Avengers like I do. They will do everything in their power to keep the cube out of harm’s way.”

“Why? What do they want with it?”

“Nothing, except for an undying power source for electricity and weapons. They have no interest in travelling through dimensions, even though I would argue SHIELD does indeed.”

“The Avengers… SHIELD… you speak in riddles, Loki.”

The God of Mischief smirked. “That shall be a story for another time.”

“You say that a lot, you know.”

Humming, he stood, revealing a delicious view of his behind before eventually turning around to face you again. You licked your lips, your eyes automatically travelling down to his length which had been inside of you only a few hours before.

“You need rest, pet. You will be of no help to me if you drop unconscious out of exhaustion sooner or later.”

“I’m fine, Loki. I’m not human either, remember?”

The God of Mischief lifted his chin, his hands coming up to cup your face, thumbs stroking over your cheekbones. Your eyes fluttered shut. You did love his gentle touches. In fact, now that you thought about it, Loki’s hands were on you constantly. It wasn’t just the body parts men usually found sexually attractive, though you had little grounds to complain about his palms exploring your breasts, buttocks and pussy whenever he got the chance. Sometimes, Loki’s knuckles brushed over your forearm, other times, he would rest his face on your bare stomach after a long day of causing just enough mischief for the guards and SHIELD agents to remain distracted and stressed. It was almost like… like he was touch-starved.

You had seen this god murder men who stood in his way, had seen him drive another insane with wit and manipulation but with you… with you he was as soft as the light touch of a feather sailing to the ground.

Standing on your toes, you brought your palms against his well-defined chest and kissed him hungrily. Your senses awakened as soon as you initiated the act of intimacy, your body more than ready to feed on the sexual energy seething inside of him.

No time, not now. You could still fuck him senseless tonight when you were both back in this mediocre hotel room Loki’s seidr had turned into a small palace. Perhaps, however, there was just enough time for you to suck him off in the shower, to sate your hunger just a little?

“I’m going to get washed,” you announced, reluctantly releasing his lips. “Care to join me?”

Loki’s grin was louder than any verbal yes could have possibly been.

-

If he truly loved you back, Loki was guarding the secret like the SHIELD agents were guarding the Tesseract. You decided to make your move the same night before you’d pass on from impatience. Perhaps it was ridiculous to hope that once the Infinity Stone was in your possession, Loki would take you with him wherever he went. Perhaps it was selfish, too and yet, the closer you stepped to the cube, the more you began to despise the very idea of parting ways with the cheeky God of Mischief.

The horrifying thought, ending up alone yet again and losing the man you had fallen in love with, kept you distracted. You had to rely on Loki once he opened a green, shimmering portal to the inside of the facility.

“Let’s have some fun, shall we?” he whispered into the utter darkness, allowing you to cling to his leather armour as you sneaked through the dark and empty hallways. The guards were positioned around the securely locked room containing a “confidential” object. You could feel it in your very bones. It must have been the Tesseract.

Loki nodded at you once you were close enough. You could barely make out his features but it was enough for a mute understanding. Kill everyone on sight because they will not hesitate to take your life either.

You had murdered many times in your life. It was necessity and raw survival instinct that had made you who you were—what were a few more deaths, now that your freedom was so close you could practically feel it?

Your senses were tingling, your breath shaky. It was then you heard it. Footsteps. Footsteps that did not belong to Loki or you. Bracing yourself for the fight, you clenched your fists, claws replacing your manicured fingernails. There were perks to being a succubus, after all—ripping your foes to shreds was one of them.

“Brother?”

The warm and deep voice, however, let you pause. Tilting your head, you glanced over to Loki whose lips had parted ever so slightly. He took a deep breath, lifting his chin proudly. One heartbeat passed, then another… and then someone turned on the lights.

You squinted in order for your eyes to get used to the sudden change of brightness. You spotted five people blocking your path, one of them you recognised as Loki’s brother himself, if only because he was carrying his beloved hammer. The others, you did not know but you were fairly certain it was the infamous Avengers Loki had warned you about.

“Thor… what an unpleasant surprise,” the God of Mischief mused. You remained silent. They were a bunch of awkward creatures indeed. One of them was dressed in black, wearing sunglasses even though it was night. Strapped to his back was a quiver filled with arrows you doubted only pierced through people’s skin. Another one was wrapped in a red and gold metal suit, with only his face showing through an open hatch. The redhead woman was pointing one of her guns at Loki and the average guy wearing glasses had put his hands in his pockets. The last one was wearing the most ridiculous superhero suit you had ever seen. You raised your eyebrows at them.

“Listen to reason, Loki. You don’t have to do this.”

“Do I not?” He chuckled. “I am not the Loki you fought here in this monstrosity of a city, Thor.”

“Why, because you got a new haircut, dipshit?” The man in the iron suit bellowed.

You, on the other hand, frowned. “Loki, what are you talking about?”

“So it is true then. We were warned about you. I should have listened,” Thor roared all the while the other’s gazes travelled over to you for a moment. “How did you escape the Void?”

“The Void? What’s the Void?” Loki ignored you completely, fomenting your anger.

“How did you know we were here?” he asked instead, possibly stalling. You were unsure what his plan was—but if the Avengers were as smart as he made them out to be, brute force would likely not suffice to beat them, not tonight.

“We had help—a lovely organisation calling itself the TVA. You might have heard of them, Loki. Rumour has it you’ve been causing them quite some trouble,” the man with the ridiculous blue eye mask and stripes and stars on his armour said.

Loki rolled his eyes. “The TVA was no more than a detour on my journey to glorious purpose. I write my own destiny and for that—I will need the Tesseract.”

“Over our dead bodies.”

“With pleasure.”

The redhead kept her gun pointed at Loki. Her expression did not let on a single emotion. “Agent Romanoff,” Loki chided, directing his attention towards her. “You know those bullets will not so much as scratch my skin.”

“I know. That’s why they’re drenched in poison. You might be a god… but she isn’t.” Her threat came too fast for you to react, for in the next moment, Romanoff had already pulled the trigger. The bullet hit you in the shoulder, knocking you back and against one of the metal pillars. You barely registered the pain of your back colliding with it, too great was the stinging and burning sensation of the foreign object in your flesh.

Loki attacked, daggers materialising in his hands. Any moment now, he would slaughter them where they stood—not for you, you weren’t naïve enough to think that—but in order to end this nonsense once and for all, to bring the Tesseract into your possession at last and then get the hell out of here. You’d survive. It wasn’t the first time you had been shot, although… although it was the first time the bullet had been poisoned. You were warm. No, you were hot. You were sweating. Dizzy, you sank to the floor, shaking like dry autumn leaves in the wind. What… what kind of poison was that? How could it have such an effect on you, an immortal being?

“L-Loki… s-something’s wrong,” you choked out. Hoping he’d hear you, you covered your wound with your right hand, your dark-red blood—almost black—staining your palm. Your sight was too blurry to make out the details of the fight, couldn’t make out if Loki had the upper hand. What you did register was him flipping around, concerned… for you. The blow your involuntary distraction earned him sounded painful, lest it was Mjölnir knocking the God of Mischief to the ground. Still—his stunning blue eyes never left yours and they widened when he realised… when he realised… you gasped for air. You might actually die tonight if you didn’t feed soon to heal yourself. Whatever poison this was… the Avengers had been prepared for him, for you both. And they’d had help—possibly from this secret TVA organisation Loki seemed to know only all too well.

“Alright, stop! Stop!” he shouted. Panic was sizzling in his voice, an emotion you had never seen him display in all of your time together. In your delirious state, hope crawled up your guts. Hope that perhaps the God of Mischief did in fact reciprocate your romantic feelings for him. “I yield! I yield! Let me take her away, she needs to feed.”

Loki’s defeat was the last thing your ears were able to process before you succumbed to darkness and fell unconscious.

-

“Thor, listen to me! If you lock her up on her own and don’t provide her with sustenance, she will die.” Loki hurried to keep up with the God of Thunder. The handcuffs they had used on him had been forged on Asgard, blocking his magic and enough of his strength to keep him in check—for now.

“She is a succubus, Loki. Mother warned us about them when we were young. They lure you into their trap and before you know it, they suck the life out of you. It’s good riddance.”

“Brother, please. Let me into her cell then. Let me be with her.” Thor halted so suddenly that the God of Mischief almost bumped into him. It was obvious he was unfamiliar with such strong emotions from him but so was he. Loki had realised the very moment that bullet had hit you that he loved you, truly.

The sheer thought of losing you to death was unbearable, suffocating. For once in his life, he had an equal. Someone who understood his ways, someone who sided with him, someone who had chosen him over Thor. He dreaded what would happen once you would ask the inevitable question and find out who he truly was. But none of that mattered as long as you stayed alive.

-

When you came to, your surroundings had changed. Thick metal walls trapped you inside a cold and sterile room with a metal floor. Somebody had laid you down on a hospital-like bed but there was no blanket, no pillow.

Coughing, you attempted to sit up only to be greeted by a singeing pain tearing through your shoulder. The bullet. The poison. Loki. Loki!

Your eyes darted around the room but you were alone. Where was he? Was he alive? You would skin them alive if they had hurt him…

Terror rippled through you when the cell door was unlocked with a start—the amount of relief you felt when the man in question stepped into your view even overpowering the pain you were in for a moment. As soon as he had slipped inside, the door was pulled shut again—with the sound of the locking mechanism echoing through the small room yet again. Loki did not seem to care. He rushed towards you in an instant, worry evident on his handsome face.

“They will not let me stay with you for long.”

“You’re okay… I thought they… you’re okay…” you mumbled. Loki nodded. “What… What is wrong with you?” You failed to sound reproachful or threatening even though part of you knew the answer to your next question. “Why did you surrender?”

“You would have died had I carried on. I have seen death too many times than I can count, pet. I know what it looks like when it reaches for you. You need to feed. Now.” Loki would not allow any contradiction when he lifted you off the mattress as if you weighed nothing and sat you down on his lap. Green shimmering light surrounded his whole body for the fraction of a second, dancing on his naked skin as his armour melted off of his body, leaving nothing but the shoulder piece with his green cape, the arm pieces and his boots behind.

Arousal surged through you like liquid fire at the sight of him despite the growing weakness of your body.

“I will remove the bullet now. Take a deep breath and close your eyes.”

You nodded, resting your forehead against his shoulder.

“One… two…” He did not wait until three before his magic ate through your flesh to pull out the foreign piece of metal in your body. Screaming, you bit down on the remaining bits of his armour, squeezing your eyes shut so tightly you saw stars blinking before your vision.

Whatever spell Loki used on you though eased the pain only the twinkling of an eye later. You sighed when it subsided, making way for the growing hunger in your core. Loki acted on your behalf. His magic took care of your leather trousers and underwear, leaving you naked from the waist down and leaving behind a faint tingling.

He had you ignited within a single heartbeat, heat pooling between your legs, your cunt getting ready to welcome a cock inside for you to feed. With a quiet moan, you ground against him when a tingly sensation spread all over your pussy, an aching reminder that you wanted him, needed him, now.

But you were too weak to even buck your hips up to let him impale you. Was he hard already? Was he… Releasing his shoulder plate at last, you swallowed to chase away the taste of leather and instead, buried your face in his neck. He was. Whether it was the fact you were a succubus and lured men into your bed for your own survival or the effect that you had on Loki, you did not know and now was not the time to ponder over it.

Your breathing hitched when he lifted you once more, this time carefully guiding you onto his awaiting length. Inch by inch, Loki slid inside of you, your wet walls gripping him eagerly. He kept you just high enough to thrust up into you slowly and intimately but changed positions when he realised that you couldn’t take the initiative.

“Am… too weak…” you uttered, your eyes threatening to fall shut yet again. With his cock still sheathed inside of you, he laid you back down on your back, positioning himself between your legs. His blue eyes never left your face when he started fucking you, his strokes more controlled and firmer this time.

It took you longer than usual to feel his energy flow into you like a gushing river, sizzling through your veins and pumping strength back into your body in tune with Loki pumping into your willing cunt. Normally, when you were fucking, your hunt for pleasure and completion had him rutting into you like a beast. Hair was pulled, flesh was bitten, skin was spanked. But this, right now… this was love-making. You did not have enough energy left to prepare your body for an orgasm this time and yet, it felt more intimate and more pleasurable than anything you had ever experienced with the God of Mischief.

“L-Loki…” you whispered, his name leaving your lips like a prayer. “Fill me… please… I need you… t-to cum… in me.”

The way he hovered above you like you were his most prized possession filled you with both pride and satisfaction and as Loki neared his climax, his arousal nearly overwhelmed you. Wave after wave of delicious energy filled you from head to toe, healing your wound and fighting the poison in your blood until you felt your strength returning to you.

You never realised you were moaning when Loki came with a grunt, burying himself as deep inside of you as he physically could. You could feel his member throbbing against you, his hot seed coating your walls.

Loki drew out his orgasm for as long as he could but instead of collapsing on top of you once you had fed, he wrapped his arms around your middle and rolled you both over so you came to rest on top of his naked and sweaty chest.

“Thank you…” You weren’t sure whether you muttered the words out loud. Only there was no time to rest yet, not even after escaping death. “Loki… who are the Avengers, really? Why are they your enemies and why did Thor ask you how you escaped a void? What was he talking about? You are keeping something from me and I don’t like it.”

The God of Mischief sighed—the sound was directly at your ear all the while you drew invisible circles on his exposed skin. He was still inside of you, filling you up, making you feel whole.

“You’re on the run too, aren’t you?” you muttered, inching up a little and leaning your forehead against his in the aftermath. “You’re wanted for murder, you… what did you do? Why did you never tell me?”

“Tell you what exactly? That I attempted to subjugate this very planet? That I manipulated thousands of humans to make me their president, their voice of prudence and wisdom? Or that I failed and was hunted down by brainwashed Variants with prune sticks?”

“I’m not sure what you thought was going to happen if I found out. If you assumed I would be disappointed you were no good and if you thought I’d leave if I knew or if… or if you thought I’d be disappointed you failed. Which one is it?”

Loki took a deep breath. “I don’t know,” he admitted. A pause, heavy and suffocating. “The TVA—the Time Variance Authority—controls the multiverse. There used to be only one single timeline. The sacred timeline, they called it. Until there was not. One of my Variants killed the keeper of time to take revenge for her stolen life. Chaos was raging when the TVA found out about the dozens of timelines they could no longer control and annihilate. I’m assuming… they turned against each other, for when they ended up in the Void—it is a place without time, a place where every unwanted reality and their parts go once the TVA prunes them—my people turned against them and stole the one thing that could get us out of there.”

“They pruned you before,” you concluded. Another sigh.

“According to the TVA, a reality where a Loki rules Midgard must not exist. And the Void… the Void is a battle for your life with no way out.”

“I don’t care, Loki. What you did, what you were about to do, even what you’re doing now. I’m not exactly a saint either like the humans would say. I feed on men. I’ve killed to guarantee my own survival and…” you paused, hoping you would not go too far with what you intended to say next, “…and I would not hesitate for a second to be your queen if you did end up ruling Midgard as its king.”

“I must say I am relieved to hear that,” Loki responded with an audible smirk in his voice. “You are mine, pet. I will not allow you to leave my side. Do you trust me?”

You nodded, feeling his seidr tickling over your skin once more to put both your and his clothes back onto your bodies. You whined at the loss of him inside of you, even more so when he turned over yet again to stand.

“Wait here for my sign.”

“What, what sign?”

“You’ll see.” He disappeared with a wink, your lips parting. One heartbeat, two heartbeats, three. You started pacing around the cell, not realising until a blue portal opened up right behind you that… Loki had it. He had the Tesseract. How…? Wait here for my sign.

You took a deep breath—and then jumped into the portal.

Loki caught you with ease. His smirk was so triumphant you couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear, wrapping your arms around him in relief. It instantly got colder here.

“How? How did you do it?”

“Thor. He might be strong but he can be quite dull. Removing my handcuffs was his first mistake. Remaining so persistent on not letting me roam free around the facility was his second. I realised soon enough the Tesseract was not where we had presumed it to be—there was something Thor did not want me to find out. And while I took care of my dying bride, one of my duplicates distracted my brother—another stole the Tesseract for me.”

Surely, it must have been more complicated than that and yet… all your mind could replay on repeat was bride.

“Bride?” you stressed. Loki’s smirk grew even wider but he did not elaborate.

“So where… where are we?”

“Jötunheim, for now. We’re near a friend of mine. She will give us shelter until we have planned our next steps.”

“Oh, will she now?” A woman stepped out of the shadows—she was beautiful, a sorceress without a doubt. Dressed in a long black dress complimenting her raven hair, she crossed her arms before her chest.

“Angrboda… it is good to see you.”

“You too, Trickster. Is there a particular reason for why you bring a succubus to my doorstep?”

Well, you could not blame her for her suspicion. If she took you in and away from the Jötun cold, you would be grateful. Loki introduced you to her quickly, your name rolling off his tongue so deliciously you felt to urge to pounce on him again already. Angrboda shook her head when he proceeded to summarise your situation and eventually nodded in defeat.

“Alright, then. Come inside. I have cherry ale that will warm you up.”

Angrboda’s space was nothing but an open cave, presumably warded through spells and other supernatural means of protection and you assumed that she shielded the parts of her home that she didn’t want you to see with equal measures. In the middle of the room, however, there was a cosy fireplace with dozens of furs spread around it to get comfortable.

“Sit by the fire. Drink, you two… lovebirds,” she said when two cups filled with a red liquid appeared next to the small bonfire. “Only you would manage to fall in love with a succubus, Loki Laufeyson.” She chuckled. “You see… Midgardians call this very day of the year Valentine’s Day. Did you get her chocolate, Trickster? And roses?”

“He saved my life today,” you responded for him.

Angrboda nodded. “Ah, I see. Well… I have a feeling this is only the beginning of the story then.” Giving you a knowing look before disappearing off to only the gods knew where, you smiled at Loki, inching closer to kiss him. Fireworks exploded within you as soon as your lips touched his, the gentle affection quickly turning into a heated fight of lips, teeth and tongue. Angrboda was right. This was only the beginning. Your beginning.

-

A/N: Did that NSFW statue of Loki that I saw the other day inspire the smut scene? No. Maybe. Yes. Absolutely, 100%.

[middlingmay]

German Gale AU Part 5

Links to Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

The story of John’s return becomes something of a legend around Thorpe Abbotts.

Downed and presumed dead, he comes storming back onto base, interrupting a meeting between the brass without a single ounce of shame or hesitation, and demands a favour from a Colonel who barely knew him before he was shot down.

When they hear what happened, they immediately pull Bucky into interrogation, but he kicks up a storm, refuses to say anything to anyone until they find out what happened to Gale. Says they can go ahead and throw him in lock up when they’re desperate for good pilots in the middle of the war, but he won’t fuckin’ budge.

Harding had heard of Egan from Huglin, and none of it had been complimentary. But after he went down, the men shared stories which painted a much different picture: a man quick with a joke, a drink, and a good time. He knew how to lift spirits. He had the backs of all the men in the 100th that he could, even against COs (a likely reason for the poor reports from Huglin).

So he’s kind of taken a liking to Egan before he meets the man. But when Egan barges in demanding a favour with all the authority of a Colonel, it’s pretty much confirmed.

He has a friend in the Office of Strategic Services, who has a friend in the British Special Operations Executive. And Harding calls a favour in up the train. But he only gets so far before a door is firmly snapped shut in his face.

“What do you mean to OSS have him? What, like in prison?”

There’s something mildly hysterical to Egan’s tone, and something sharp in his eyes, and Harding has to hasten to reassure him that if Gale was in prison, they would have just told him.

“It’s far more likely they’ve recruited him,” he assures Egan. “But it’s not like they’ll confirm that either way.”

That doesn’t make it better.

“You mean they’ll fucking send him back?!”

Harding allows the slip, just once, because he doesn’t know what Egan went through when he went down but the docs had told him that Egan bore some nasty marks of one hell of a beating.

“Major Egan!” It’s the most reluctant stand to attention he’s ever received. “There’s nothing you, me, or even my superiors can do. Other than do the job we came here to do. Am I clear?”

There are several beats of silence, and then: “Yes, sir.”

In the absence of John Brady (and Benny and Crank and Murph and Ham and so many more), Crosby and Rosie become a bit of a lifeline for him. Crosby, well used to his moods and highs and lows, reads him like a book and helps direct his energies to where they’re needed.

Rosie however is the one who keeps him from delving too deeply into the bottle. He likes long talks and aimless walks and appreciates things like sunsets and flowers. When all John wants to do is bite and bark and drink until he passes out, Rosie is placid and implacable. And when John gets the look in his eye like he’s finally about to push back against this relative stranger, Rosie reminds him that he flew Munster. And John is not alone in surviving when so much else was lost.

Out of all of them, Ken is the most excited to see him. He orders the ground crew to pay special attention to John’s new fort, oversees the final checks himself, and hovers at John’s shoulder when he inspects her.

When John tells him he’s certain the bird won’t be the reason he goes down again, Ken beams and slaps him on the shoulder before running off.

They’re accompanied by the fighters now, and their losses int he air reduce dramatically, and John tries not to get too furious about it, about the fact it took them so long to decide they’re worth protecting.

They drop bombs and hit targets, and the months drag on, and John never forgets about a blonde haired, blue-eyed German fella who looks like he belongs in the movies, but risked everything to get him back on friendly soil. On the worse days, not even Rosie and Crosby can pull him away from his quart of whiskey.

One day after more than a quart, John is nursing a rather brutal hangover when his name is yelled during mail call.

He thinks it’s a mistake but a very slim letter with precise script is placed down in front of him.

It’s not writing he recognises. He opens it.

John. A friend told me where I could find you. I hope you can forgive the delay in writing to you. Unfortunately, I’m travelling at the moment, so I have no return address. But I just wanted to let you know I’m still thinking of you, and I hope we will see each other again, when everything ends. With affection, Gail.

John buries his face in that letter. He sleeps with it under his pillow at night and keeps it in a pocket close to his heart during the day. He reads it over and over and the guys tease him over his secret girl he’s never said a word about.

“Tell us about her, Bucky!” They jeer. “Yeah, tell us!”

So he tells them about a long-legged, blonde beauty. With eyes like the morning sky, full lips, and a waist a fella just wanted to grab. He tells them about a heart as big as a B-17—bigger—and a brave woman who stands up for what she believes in. And who helps others when she can.

“She sounds like a keeper, sir!”

It makes John smile sad and rueful. “Yeah, she does.”

[sashaisready]

The Blood Pact: Chapter 9 - What the hell is that?

Bucky Barnes Vampire AU x Female Reader

Reeling from a bad break-up, you're desperately trying to find a new place to live but the Brooklyn rental market is a complete nightmare. You take a chance on an intriguing newspaper ad and enquire about a room in a shared house, where you'd be living with two mysterious men. The catch is that they want something other than your money for you to pay the rent...the one thing they don't have

Series Masterlist

Chapter 10

Hi again! Nothing to warn about in this chapter I don't think...some light references to previous sexual activity and a bit of drama but nothing too angsty.

He spoke first.

“Are you alright?” he turned his head and whispered in your ear. You were curled up together in your bed as he spooned you from behind, you could feel the frostiness of his chest against your hot back. It was strangely soothing, cooling you down after your exhaustion. You didn’t think you’d ever get used to his body temperature.

You nodded dumbly in response, whatever had happened to you was starting to wear off. You still felt affection for Bucky, but your feelings were nowhere near as intense as they were moments before. You felt somewhat embarrassed, it felt very exposing and vulnerable to be with someone like that. You’d never experienced anything like it before. It had felt like your heart had been ripped out and placed in a display case for all to see. 

His fingers ran circles through your hair as he tenderly kissed the back of your neck.

“It’s a lot. I get it” he cooed soothingly.

You wriggled around in the bed to face him, finding his piercing blue eyes tearing into you even in the dark.

“Did…was it like that for you too? The pictures, and stuff” you asked meekly. Your voice was croaky and worn as if you hadn’t spoken in days.

He nodded. “Uh huh. I saw you. It’s hard to describe, but it’s just like your brain just floods with the other person. It can be really overwhelming”.

“Have you had it much before? With other humans, I mean. If that’s not too personal to ask…”

You suddenly wondered if you’d overstepped by asking. It’s not like you knew the etiquette around this kinda stuff…

“Once or twice” he replied stoically. “It doesn’t happen that often. I guess it would impede a vampire’s survival if it happened too regularly” he grinned, flashing his fangs. You smiled back, secretly honoured to be a member in such an exclusive club.

He ran his hand over the fresh puncture wound on your neck. “And was this okay?” He looked at you with concern, carefully waiting for your reply.

You nodded, your own fingers flying up alongside his to feel the grooves in your skin. “It was pretty painful at first. But it passed, and then it felt really good. Even better than the thigh feeds”.

He beamed at you, entwining your fingers with his. “It’s really good for me too. Fuck, Doll, I wish I could describe what you do to me” he said breathily, taking a moment to run his tongue over your neck.

You whimpered and crumpled against him as he continued to smatter your neck and sternum with light kisses.

“I can’t enough of you” he whispered between kisses. “You taste so good. In every possible way”. He grinned devilishly as his assault continued. You melted, putty in his hands. All you could think about was how good it felt when he touched you. Your eyelids suddenly felt heavy, your body entirely spent. You felt yourself drift off in his arms, faintly hearing him mumble praises into your ear as sleep overcame you.

You couldn’t be sure but you thought you heard him say one more thing before you succumbed.

“You’re very important to me, Doll”.

🩸

“Doll…Doll…wake up” came the firm voice in your ear, very rudely ripping you from your deep sleep.

“Wh-wha..” you muttered in response, sitting up bleary eyed as you slowly re-joined the waking world.

You were…cold. Despite being curled up under the blankets. Something cool pressed into your bare flesh. You moved in the dark, your hand colliding with a cold wall of muscle. You jolted, suddenly wide awake with confusion about who or what could possibly be in bed with you. Then you remembered Bucky. Of course. You subconsciously rubbed your neck where he’d marked you just a few hours before. You still felt the ache between your legs, a reminder of where he’d been.

“Hey…it’s okay it’s just me. I need to go” came his voice again, hushed and soothing in the darkness. He gave your waist a squeeze as if to remind you he was there. “The sun will be up soon and Steve will be back any minute”.

You whined petulantly, fumbling for him in the dark and draping your arms around his neck. “Don’t go…” you protested meekly, nuzzling your face to his. “What time is it?”

“It’s late…well, early. Trust me, I don’t want to leave” he said softly, his cheek cold against your skin. “I would stay with you in here forever if I could, Doll. I haven’t been this warm in years” he chuckled. “But your window’s shades aren’t reinforced like mine are, and you might wake up next to a pile of ash in the morning”.

“That’s fine, I’ll just keep you in one of those fancy urns you and Steve sell” you mumbled.

He laughed heartily, shifting in the bed and getting to his feet. You could faintly see his outline in the dark hopping into his pants. “You’re cutthroat, sweetheart. We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”

He leaned over, finding your face and gifting you a small kiss. You reciprocated eagerly, understanding full well why he had to go - but it still didn’t dull your disappointment. The kiss as chaste and sweet but you still felt a familiar thrum of want as your lips met his.

“Thank-you for one hell of a night” he purred into your ear. “You’re really somethin’ else, Doll”.

You groaned in annoyance and he kissed you one final time on your crown to bid farewell. “Sleep tight” he whispered.

You heard the door close and you sighed, taking a few minutes to reflect on everything that had happened tonight. There was no going back, Bucky had been right about that. A line had been well and truly crossed. You felt closer to him than ever before, some sort of bond forged between you that felt powerful…and mystifying. What did it mean for the two of you? How would your relationship be now? You stayed awake wondering what would happen next…before sleep took you once more.

🩸

The following evening you were in the kitchen preparing dinner as Steve leaned on the counter and told you about his night out. Bucky was yet to emerge. You felt a bit anxious, but concentrated all of your energy on appearing light and breezy as Steve chatted away.

“…So it was a joke, geddit? Steak not stake?” he clutched his chest and cackled, delighting in his cheesy anecdote.

You rolled your eyes. “Steve…that’s so terrible, even for you…” you chuckled. “But I’m glad you had a good night”.

He laughed and you smiled at him and for a brief moment you weren’t burdened with the guilt of keeping Bucky a secret from him. It was just like old times. But then you remembered again and your stomach felt heavy. It was as if you were lying to him, acting like everything was normal and nothing had changed. Steve had treated you well, he had been a friend to you. He didn’t deserve this. You hypothesised that it couldn’t have been easy for Bucky to lie to his best friend, either. You had to speak to him about it, convince him to get everything out in the open so the both of you no longer needed to tiptoe around Steve.

Steve suddenly stopped in his tracks, his easy smile morphing into a frown as he stared accusingly at you.

You flinched under his gaze. “What?” you asked, looking down at your clothes to see if you’d somehow spilled some of your dinner. “Did I drop food on myself or something?”

“What the hell is that?” he said coldly.

You peered back at him with confusion. He moved like lightning and in a second his hand was brushing your hair behind your ear. He pointed aggressively to the bite marks on your neck.

“That? What the hell is that?” he demanded.

Your throat went dry and any words you tried to find eluded you. You looked at him, desperate to explain. How had you forgotten? How could you have been so careless? You should’ve worn a turtle neck to cover it...a piece of jewellery...anything...

Steve just glowered at you and you could practically see as he put everything together in a matter of seconds. There was absolutely nothing you could say now.

At that exact moment Bucky wandered into the kitchen. Steve’s fingers framed the bite mark as he stared at them furiously. You watched Bucky’s face contort into dread as he took in the scene in front of him. Like Steve, you saw the exact moment that realisation hit him. Well, this is what you wanted, you supposed...

“It’s nothing. I just…I-” you babbled, your lips acting before your brain.

Steve removed his hand from your neck and turned to Bucky.

“What the hell are you doing, Buck? What’s going on…?” Steve asked.

Bucky opened his mouth to respond but you interrupted.

“It’s my fault, I-”

“No. I don’t blame you for this” Steve snarled, raising a dismissive finger to you but not dropping his gaze from Bucky.

“C’mon Steve” Bucky hushed, his hands raised defensively. “It’s no big deal. It was just a feed...Calm down, let’s just talk this out”.

“Don’t, Buck” Steve spat. “We both know what neck feeds mean. Don’t insult me and try lie to me. We agreed this was just going to be a business arrangement. We wanted to avoid it getting complicated. And now it’s complicated. Can you really not keep it in your pants?”

“Steve…I-” you tried to step in but couldn’t get a word in edgeways.

“How long?” Steve demanded.

Bucky winced. “Been building since the start. But only fully since last night” he conceded quietly.

Steve exhaled, shaking his head as he stared Bucky down.

“She’s just a human. She doesn’t know what she’s doing. You should know better. She’s not your live-in toy to fuck and suck” Steve fired.

“Hey!” you protested. “I’m standing right here, you know. I’m a person, I have my own free will and agency, it’s not like he tricked me into it”.

You glared at Steve, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment at his words.

He sighed. You saw his shoulders drop. “I'm sorry, I don’t mean to upset you, sweetheart” he turned to face you, his voice softer now. “It’s hard to explain, but you’re not on equal footing in this because he has more control. As vampires we can be…very persuasive with humans”.

You nodded, fully aware of that. But he didn’t understand. It wasn’t like that with Bucky. You wanted him. You’d always wanted him. You were just as enthusiastic in your consent as he was...maybe even more so.

Faintly, in the back of your mind, Steve's words filed themselves away for later. A live in toy for Bucky to 'suck and fuck'? That just wasn't true.

Was it?

Bucky sighed, cutting through your train of thought and snapping you back into the room. “Look…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. But it’s not just me fooling around, alright? We have…” he cleared his throat. “We have the bond”.

Steve chuckled and looked between the two of you incredulously. “Are you kidding me?”

Bucky shrugged. “C’mon Stevie, this is hardly new territory for you. Remember Peggy…”

Steve froze, his eyes dropping to the floor. “Don’t say her name” he growled, his voice suddenly choked. “I don’t bring up your history, the least you can do is the same for me”.

You watched them both, desperate to ask what they meant but knowing full well now wasn’t the time.

Bucky nodded, holding his hands out in defeat. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gone there. I just meant…you know firsthand what it’s like…”

Steve nodded. “I do”. He sighed, his hand scratching the back of his neck as his crystal blue eyes moistened slightly - which surprised you. But he wiped his face with his hand and it was as if nothing had happened.

He finally seemed to deflate, you could see the rage leaving his face. His features became soft and inviting once more.

“I just…I want you both to be happy. I just don’t want it to get ugly, in our home where we all live. I don’t-I don’t want you to have to move out” he said softly, clearing his throat awkwardly.

“I understand. I know you’re only looking out for me as my friend” you responded.

You reached out gingerly and cupped his shoulder. He looked back at you, smiling thinly before locking you into a bear hug. “I know you can look out for yourself, kid. If anyone can handle this jerk it’s you”.

“Hey…” Bucky protested from across the kitchen. “Punk”.

You returned Steve’s hug as best you could, straining slightly in his tight grip.

“Thank-you, Steve” you whispered.

He winked at you and turned to Bucky, his softness slipping away as he addressed his friend once more.

“I’m not overjoyed about any of this. But I get it. Just don’t let it fuck up our home life, okay? And I don’t want to hear any of your…intimacy”.

“Ew” you replied, scrunching up your nose.

Bucky moved across the kitchen, hesitantly wrapping an arm around your waist. He placed a tentative kiss to your temple. It was almost weird for him to be affectionate with you out in the open like this. But your heart soared with how good it made you feel.

“Thanks, man. I get where you’re coming from. I promise it won’t get weird, and I’ll do anything I can to stop that happening”.

Steve nodded sagely.

“I mean, it’s not a total surprise. I’m not blind. You’ve both been making eyes at each other for weeks. And I’ve overheard some of the noises you both make during some of your feeds and-”

You grimaced, holding up a finger to silence him. “Please…don’t”.

It was humbling to hear that you and Bucky had not been as stealth as you had thought.

Steve chuckled before turning to Bucky and clamping a hand down on his friend’s shoulder. He looked at him with sincerity. “I think it’s finally time we tell her about how we were turned. Right, Buck?”

Bucky frowned, his eyes dropping to the floor. “Uh, well…”

“C’mon, if we aren’t going to have any more secrets under this roof then it’s important to get that out of the way”.

Bucky just nodded. His hand on your waist tightened suddenly.

“Doll…let’s talk”.

[jessica-problems]

I think if you swapped Anthy Himemiya into the plot of Gushing Over Magical Girls in place of Utena Hiiragi, she would actually be so much worse. Like, *actual supervillain* levels of so much worse. Hear me out. Even in RGU, Anthy has ambushed Nanami with an octopus and TF'ed her into a cow. She swapped bodies with Utena that one time. Anthy is not above freaky magical pranks. I think she would go mad with power if she there were no consequences. Hiiragi just wants to have fun and tease the heroines and ultimately help them grow and succeed. Anthy's just in it for herself. She has *so* much weird complex trauma to work through. If she had the chance to put someone else in the rose coffin, I think she would do it without a second thought. Maybe then they could understand what she survived. The wrinkle is, there are literally no men in the world of Mahoako. If that means no patriarchy, then Anthy's trauma is completely unique. Assuming she somehow has the exact same backstory, then gets teleported into the world of Mahoako, she would be literally the only girl in the entire world to have suffered patriarchal violence. All the superpowers in the world couldn't get Anthy to a point where she could convince someone to understand what she's gone through. Even real men, who also live under patriarchy, manage to not notice most of it. People living in a world where it never existed simply could not understand. If she ever learned about consent, it was purely theoretical, and certainly doesn't reflect her lived experience. I don't know that she has *ever* had the chance to make a decision that wasn't coerced out of her by her position as The Rose Bride. Not to mention the sexual violence. Anthy has no idea what Safe Sane and Consensual even means, and if she did learn, I don't know that she would feel like giving others a chance she never got. Anthy would become an evil god just like her older brother. Which naturally means Utena Tenjou would have to slot in as the heroine trying to rescue Anthy from herself. She would obviously do an enemies-to-lovers thing with villain!Anthy, but I... don't know how it would play out. The higher stakes and genuine violence seem insurmountable. And Anthy could have a crazy dynamic with Kiwi. Kiwi hates the magical girls for being cuter and more popular that her, and Anthy might come to hate them for never suffering in the way she suffered, so I think they would encourage the chips on each others' shoulders to bloom into genuine malice. Possibly some kind of escalating prank war, or a mutual attraction built on being insane together. Alice, however, Anthy might see as like a younger version of herself. They're both quietly mischevious, mostly content to sit and watch the chaos unfold. And the fucked up thing is, Lord Enorme might even become the lesser of two evils. She has an evil plot, but at least she's efficient about it. Killing magical girls for a specific goal is less cruel than aimlessly torturing them so they could maybe understand your trauma.

---

On the flip side, I think if you put Utena Hiiragi into RGU as the rose bride, almost nothing would change, because so much of the tragedy of the Rose Bride is wrapped up in the fact that the actual girl filling the role barely matters.

[skyfallscotland]

Ok, House of Sky and Breath live reactions, final part! We're done! Only one more Maasverse book to go. Thank fuck

• Ithan noooo! How will Tharion ever survive if you die before he realises how perfect you are together?

• Oh, Tharion's actually here? Don't worry Dumb, Dumber is here to make sure you're ok 😭

• Wait??? Is Tharion with Hypaxia?? I mean...that's ok, she thinks Ithan's cute? We could make that threesome work??

• Ooooh Ruhn setting up his own Cinderella moment? 🥺 top tier shit!

• Ruhn's Cinderella moment getting ruined by the evil step-sister? Not top tier shit 😤

• WAIT, Hypaxia and Celestina?! Ok, that one I didn't see coming! Literally everyone in this fic book is in an arranged marriage and none of them want to be in it and honestly, I'm so tired of SJM using consent and rape as a plot device and barely ever touching the consequences

• Almost as sick as I am of Bryce and Hunt's sex drive. Shut the fuck up, honestly, you're insufferable!! I'm almost finished this book I think? I hope? And there's been barely any (worthwhile) plot whatsoever. I'm here for the smut, I love smut, but there is such a thing as too much and these two are so boring, I can't even. I'd rather eat stale bread, bye

• Lidia 😭😭 Imma take that as confirmation that I'm right and Day is the Hind. I have such a soft spot for the sister who was discarded and turned into a vicious little thing, may she get her own shadow wielder, she deserves it 😭🖤 Remi 🤝 Lidia forever

• "I don't have a foot fetish." You're BITING HER TOES 😭 I hate them istg

• Oh, we're talking about a war? Yeah, must be the last 200 pages.

• Tharion is such a fucking idiot. Maybe that’s why I ship him with Ithan—just...dumb and dumber.

• Baby Baxian being Danika's mate? Danika not telling Bryce a single thing? No, no, nope, not having it. Firstly, Baxian deserves better tbh. Secondly, Bryce is an idiot if she a) missed aaaall this and b) still thinks Danika was ever her friend, what a [insert c word here]

• It’s actually incredibly depressing how much emphasis she places on sex and the way the men are always thinking about sex. Like?? I’m not here for realism gal and I’d like a side of feelings with that. Ruhn is at least more interesting than Hunt in that regard, but still…ugh.

• “Your starborn bloodline specifically hailed from a small isle a few miles from the mainland….the isle existed in a near-permanent twilight” ACOTAR Dusk Court???

• Celestina being a backstabber? I was surprised tbh, you lulled me into a false sense of security in those many, many pages, good for you SJM, but also, fuck you for handing her someone as nice as Hypaxia, unless she's about to turn into a hidden psycho too

• YAY, the internet's worst kept secret is here! Hiiiii Rhysy! 👋🏼

• Also the internet: what if Azriel is Bryce’s real mate??? Me: what if Azriel and Bryce are related??? 👁️👄👁️ Not sure how my mind jumps to the complete opposite place of other people all the damn time but…here we are 🤷🏼‍♀️

Final impressions: • fuck that was a big book for not much happening • why the fuck did i ever need to find out anything about sofie or her brother at all, what a waste of time, really • danika's still winning the world's worst friend award, two books running • if i ever have to read about bryce and hunt having sex again it will be far too soon.

[dirtytransmasc]

Yes, she decided. The moment she continued to go in his chamber, she could advice him to wed laena instead of trying to have a relationship with him, she could have remember him of his duty. She had a choice as everyone has

clearly logic is something that will not reach you no matter what I say but let's try again shall we.

first off, Viserys married for pleasure, not power or political gain. he knew his duties he knew what was best and had no interest. he married Alicent because that's what he wanted. it would be insanely inappropriate for a girl to advise a king on political matters AND it should not be the job of a 14 year old child to tell a king what he should be doing.

second off, she had a father to please, cause again, to reiterate, she was his daughter and she had a duty to him and her house. this was not a duty she wanted, but she didn't have a choice. she was young but se wasn't stupid she knew what her father expected of her, and if word got back from Viserys that she was actively advising him to marry someone else, she would then not only bring disobeying her father but going against him.

thirdly, and more minorly, "she should have pushed him to marry laena" isn't the gotcha you think it is. laena was even younger than her, and even if it was politically expected of him, still fucking gross.

lastly, cause I apparently can't stress this enough, SHE DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE, plain and simple. she had no agency, she had no power, she had no out, she was at the mercy of her father, she had to obey him, she had to do what he said, even if it meant walking herself to slaughter. once she met with the king, he took a liking to her and DEMANDED her presence, he the DEMANDED her hand. again, there was no point she could have said no. she couldn't say no to her father, she couldn't advise the king (he barely tolerated it when she was literally the queen, let alone if she had just been some girl entertaining him in his chambers), she couldn't deny the king of anything, she didn't have a choice.

she was 14 and scared, 14 and trying to survive, 14 and trying to please her father, 14 and sent to a man 3 times her age's chambers, 14 and lusted after by the king, 14 and knowing of her place in the world and what was expected of her. like every other woman in their history, she couldn't escape, she couldn't, there's no plainer way to say it. she faced her duty with poise and a stiff lip, cause that's what you had to do, but she was just a child.

you can't expect her to have been some radical icon, there were none, women who went against their station in life were punished or killed or put into god awful betrothals to lessen the shame brought to her family. she was a nobleman's daughter, she had a house to bring honor to. she did the heartbreaking thing of giving up, for the benefit of her father and house, doesn't mean she wanted it, doesn't mean it was ok, doesn't mean she isn't deserving of pity. giving in to your duty =/= wanting it.

"she had a choice as everyone has" she had a choice every woman has; accept it with grace, be forced into it, or damn herself to a fate much worse (and that's being generous, most didn't even have that many choices). it's the men who had choices, Otto offered his daughter up, he didn't have to, he had no obligation and nothing to lose if he didn't. Viserys had every choice, he could have married whoever he wanted, he could have denied her the second she entered his chambers. the men in her life had every choice to change her fate, yet they didn't take it, and you would rather blame her over them?

and listen, I know your set in your mindset of victim blaming a child bride who was raped until her husband didn't have the health or stamina to keep it up, and that you'll choose to blame her over the men in her life who damned her to such a fate. nothing I say will ever convince you, cause you clearly hate her past where logic will reach. you can keep sending asks with your terrible takes that have no backing or logic and actively ignore the political and societal state of the times and what it means for her as a young noble girl, and I'll keep answering them cause I have nothing better to do and I'll defend my girl to the grave.

[candelwicks]

Random 🔥hottakes🔥

And

🍫Headcannons🍫

♠️♣️♥️♦️Husk♦️♥️♣️♠️

My hottakes with husk is that I believe husk should

Be a type of threat to the hotel I don't mean as a

Threat like alastor no I mean,due to the fact husk

Is a gambler especially with how he was an overlord

Because of it.Just because he's under Alastor's

Thumb doesn't mean such addictions go away

And honestly I'm genuine pissed these types of

Addiction is barely shown at all more than being the

"wiser" one he was the "wiser" one because bro got

His feet forced into the shoes of his victims of being

A energy slave to an overlord,how I see what should

Be displayed as husk being a threat for the hotel is

That husk steals money that's supposed to be for

The hotel after all in the original show Charlie is the

Princess of hell but even with my own au the money

Is still being funded by the royals. So let me get this

Straight you're telling me an ex overlord who is a

GAMBLER wouldn't steal money from the royal

Fundings to feed his own adrenaline and to probably

Gambel sway items or even workers from the

Establishment? Oh and that's not all you're putting

A hardcore acholic behind the bar and it's definitely

Implied? Or at least it's never mentioned and I feel

Like it should on how husk is stealing matirals from

Said bar for himself I mean that's definitely draining

The money part too- also we need more owl energy

From husk-.One thing I lokey wanna see is like what

Husk's life is like I mean we got an idea with all the

Others why leave husk out? Like we got more

Information on angel dust and alastor then the info

We got with husk,so I believe that sense gambelisim

Is his thing he was probably a MONSTER in alot of

The casinos so much so bro was BAND by mostly

All of them expect for one who was quite

Astonished and impressed with his skills(or "skill"

If you will) for all we know husk probably owned or

Earned the rights to a casino when he was alive and

Was a definite charisma scumbag also I full on

Believe husk is a POC and his human form

Definitely got vitiligo to mirror his demon form.

When husk was an overlord I feel like his color was

Orange why orange? I don't fuken know but I think it

Be fun that when he was an overlord he used to have

The ability to go to a more demodic form and can

Sumon a owl skull through his throat to devour

People via crunching cuz I believe when monsters

Chew there food that's a 100% you ain't surviving it.

🦌🌲 Alastor 🦌🌲

I full on believe alastor has personal beef with angel

Dust and I don't mean that just because he is

Uncomfortable with NSFW in general,no I mean he

Souly has beef because angel is associated with

Valentino, we all know Alastor don't give to shits

About men and definitely believes in the stereotype

That men can never face the same issues as what

A woman goes through due to personal biased from

What alastor witnising with his own mother, Alastor

Definitely fucking DISPISE Valentino and is

one of the main reasons I believe was the

Reason of vox and alastor falling out although I do

Belived alastor fumbled on the friendship part vox

Made it more then it should have been but that's

Another segment I'll make for vox,But point being-

Is that i feel like alastor could care less if husk is

Hanging out more with angel dust because again

He gives less fuck with men especially someone

Like husk and angel dust however when it comes

To nifty he treats angel like he's and ironically cuz

There in hell a horrible influence yes I see alastor

As a father type and denying the fact he is one.

Another one that I wished we seen displayed in the

Show is how alastor was alive during the grate

Depression y'all have ANY idea how scarily resorcful

People are especially with FOOD?? The fucking hotel

Menu would be WACK, plus I do like the idea alastor

Is a hunter so it would have been so fun to see

Alastor use some shotgun perhaps he's alot more

Hunters play when it comes to killing overlords. I feel

Like Alastor's human life is definitely ruff on the

Edges especially with the early demise of his mother

When he was only 14, during his time growing up

He's always been bullied with is mostly from the

Extreme racism that he and his mother had delt with

And also how boys whom are now men always

Bullied alastor due to his natural charm for woman

Even though alastor seen all the woman in his life as

Sisters or or mother figures he even got bullied

Because of his more stronger connection with

Woman believing alastor was homosexual because

Of it Wich made it difficult for alastor to form

Friendships with men then he dose with woman.

💀🔥 Overlords💀🔥

I have Alot of headcannons about Overlords so

Here's le main one I wanna put out there. Why they

Still use the whole "sell your soul" thing when you're

Soul is no longer attached to your body technically

Your just made of energy at this point and with that

Fact alone ain't to far fetched for demons in general.

Here me out demons are KNOWN to drain energy

Out of people so energy would be the most prized

In hell no matter what energy negative or positive

They.will.drain.you so I feel like "selling your energy"

Would make the most sense plus it plays a keen role

With Overlords especially how one can lose there

Powers so quickly. One thing I think would be

Fascinating is that once you're an overlord even if

You lose your pedistole as one you have (yes JoJo

Reference-) rejected your humanity, you're blood no

Longer red as human but black as a hellborn once

You succumb to the role as overlord you're energy

No longer recognize you as human anymore

Meaning you can't go to heaven like how sir pentious

Did you're just stuck here but you can still very much

Be killed by angelic (or possible from Hades

department-) weaponry. I full on believe demodic

Forms such as what alastor has is only recides for

Those who are powerful enough to have not normal

Sinners or hellborns however whenever you lose

All your energy to someone else you can no longer

Have the ability to use that form and can be harmful

And strainful if you forced yourself to Wich can lead

To nasty injurys.

⚡🔌📺📡Vox⚡🔌📺📡

Oooh boy let's make one thing sertin I FULL ON

B E L I V E bro is acephobic he is ace spectrum

Phonic you CAN'T CONVINCE ME MAN KNOWS

NOTHING ABOUT THE LGBTQ BECAUSE HE DOSE

He SO dose! Bro is in STRAIGHT UP DENIAL that

Alastor is in the ace spectrum and I believe that's

No thanks to Valentino I feel like ever since vox

Let that rat basterd into the picture vox just

Followed suit on whatever he does to the point that

It made alastor and vox grow even more distant

Then they should due to both fumbeling on

Eachother. Vox is definitely problematic as in

Even though you warned him not to be with alastor

Because the future bloodline had engaged with a

Marriage basically tying both the family tree

together making vox and alastor related to some

Capacity he will insult you and flat out denying

The fact of what he's doing is now considered a

Weird Alabama idk with how much denial bro is

In it's time to acknowledge he just as problematic

And you can't convince me bro definitely had alot

Of kids running around both earth,hell, purgatory

And even heaven bro had A LOT of kids and families

That he didn't bother helping with.Speeking of

Families let's head into his hooman life I feel like

What I see is that both him and alastor are two

Sides of the same coin situation the same coin

Being both are people of color but had the uperhand

In different accounts such as Alastor's natural

Crisma and vox being extremely white passing yes

I full on believe vox has a family that are POC but

Vox didn't value his mother as much as alastor did

With his mom, Vox's mother had a temper but was

Wise enough to NEVER take it out on her son she

Was a very intelligent woman and her brain was

A genetic even her son had that to bad he didn't get

Enough of that Gene to make smart choices

Especially the disrespect and audacity that he has.

Anyways thanks for listening to my goofyness*EXPLODES*

[disasterofastory]

Time (Joel Miller x Reader)

Time Joel Miller x Reader Warnings: mention of death and sex

Summary: Joel has to face his age. Luckily, you are there to make everything better.

The rising sun's weak rays filter through the windows, casting an orange hue over the kitchen. Specks of dust dance in the cold air, swirling as you move around to get some coffee. The pot is still half full and warm when you grab it to pour the dark liquid into your mug. An empty plate is left in the sink, probably Ellie, who is already up and about somewhere in the town. There are days when you don't even meet the young girl who is constantly busy with her new friends. You are happy for her. She is almost eighteen, and this is the first time she is the closest to living a life you can call normal in a world that ended before she was born.

Your gaze wanders back to the window, where you can see Joel. He is sitting on the patio, probably trying to enjoy his coffee before the day starts.

You know something is off with him since he came home from patrolling with Tommy a few days ago. He is quiet and more reserved than usual. He barely speaks, and you need pliers to pull an answer out of him, even if it's just a few words. The frown you are so used to seeing between his brows is deeper and more gloomy. The corners of his lips always curl downwards. It reminds you of times when you two barely knew but needed each other to survive.

"Hey," you greet Joel in sync with the creak of the door as you push it open. "Hey," he hums, looking up at you with a slight smile. Even after all these years, the curve of his lips still makes your heart beat faster. "How are you, handsome?" You ask him, sitting down next to him and putting your legs over his lap as you lean against the backrest of the bench. "I'm fine," he hums, sipping from his mug. His other hand is on your leg, smoothing his large palm up and down on the rough fabric of your jeans. "You are up early." "Yeah," you reply. "I missed you." He smiles again, but his eyes never meet yours.

"What's wrong, Joel?" You ask him after a few minutes. Your attention from the empty street turns to the man next to you. "I know there is something you don't tell me." A heavy sigh escapes his lips, but he doesn't answer immediately, and you don't push him. "Tommy wants me to stop patrolling," he says. "What?" You ask back, surprised. "Why?" A grimace contorts his face. "I'm old, love. I'm not as fast as I used to be. My reflexes are..." he grunts before continuing. "Tommy says it would be safer if I would find something else to do around the town." Even though you know how hard it is for him to face his age, you can't help but be happy about it. You always worry when he goes out with other men to scout the surrounding area for infected and bandits. "At least you could pretend you are sad," he says, watching you from the corner of his eyes. "But I'm not," you shrug, putting down your empty mug to hug his arm. "So, that's why you are so glum? Because you want to go out?" Joel scoffs. "The fuck wanna go out," he replies. "It's just... I'm old. I can't fight like I used to. What if something happens, and I will be useless? What will happen when I can't protect you anymore?" Your throat tightens hearing his words. You never really cared about his age or the gap between you two. For you, Joel means everything, and you never really let yourself think about the time passing and leaving you older and older. Frank and Bill come to your mind. "And what will I do here? Working in the greenhouses while other men go out and risk their lives?" You need a few minutes to come up with an answer. The thought of Joel getting older sooner than you rests heavily on your shoulders. "You could teach." "Teach?" He grunts. "And what?" "Fight," you reply. "You could teach the young ones how to fight. Everything I know is because of you." "I don't know..." "But I do," you try to convince him. "And I think it would help the men who go patrolling, knowing the others can fight and protect themselves if something goes wrong." Joel doesn't say yes or no, but he is thinking about it, so for now, it's enough for you. "And your other worries..." you sigh. Your hold on him tightens. "We are a team, Joel. You and me. We will figure everything out in time." "What will happen..." He licks his lips. You can see the distress on him that breaks your heart. You don't want him to worry. He worried so much in his life already. You don't want to be a part of it. "What will you do if I..." You think about Frank and Bill again. "I don't know," you tell him honestly. "And I don't need to know yet. You are here, and you are healthy. Maybe your knees and back hurt, but it happens with the best of us too. And you know what?" "What?" "I think you just seem slower because the others are younger. I'm getting old too, you know? I see younger women wanting to go dancing and flirting after a long workday, and I ache everywhere, and the only thing I want is you and a warm bath." That makes him smile. God, you love that smile. "And..." "Yeah?" He hums, watching you with excitement in his stomach. He adores the mischievous glint in your eyes. "Seeing how sore I am, I don't think you will lose your strength anytime soon." "Oh?" Joel smirks. "And how sore are you? Just because I don't have to meet Tommy for another few hours." He didn't even touch you yet, but you already burn and crave him as you jump up from the bench to drag him up to the bedroom.

Time passes whether you like it or not, but for now, you are here for each other, and in a world that ended long ago, you can't ask for more.

[possessionisamyth]

Not sorry, but I believe Sanji's arranged marriage made WCI worse. I didn't like the arc that much already, but the marriage was extremely unnecessary.

I know the framing is supposed to show Sanji is kind, but to me Sanji's kindness was never called into question. Whole Cake did not bring it back or highlight it. We knew Sanji was kind when he was told to leave Gin to die on the baratie and Sanji fed him anyway. We knew Sanji was kind when he trusted Nami even after barely knowing her and tried to reassure the rest of the crew there must've been another reason for her leaving. He extended that same kindness to Usopp by defending him from Luffy during Enies Lobby. He even blamed Zoro for Usopp leaving at all!

He's kind enough to remember everyone's favorite foods and preferences BEFORE Whole Cake Island. His kindness is shown equally to men, women, and kids in multiple arcs both main, filler, and in one piece movies set during pre-time skip. Of course Sanji is kind. THIS KNOWLEDGE CAME FREE WITH YOUR PRE-TIME SKIP ANIME.

The poor attempt Whole Cake does is try to remind people Sanji is a nice guy after the horrible character assassination of making him an even bigger pervert which are two separate problems. The kindness was never drawn into question! We knew! We always knew! It's Oda's fault for deciding over and over again to make Sanji behave one step removed from "accidentally" groping women!

Like, Sanji's fandom wasn't built because he's strong like Zoro or fun like Luffy. Sanji's fandom derived from his gentleman schtick pre-time skip where he's genuinely fucking sweet when he's not twirling around like an idiot. If he was actually an intolerable gross pervert, it wouldn't matter how well he cooks. People would either have mixed feelings about him or they'd hate him. But post time skip Sanji???????? They were riding the fucking edge with that behavior. Like REALLY riding the edge! It was the cushion of his history that kept him popular along with the hope that they'd fucking tone it down!!!!! They wanted the grossness toned down! They didn't need a reminder of the kindness!

Add the fact that he didn't need A SECOND ALTERNATIVE BACKSTORY???? Apparently nearly starving to death on an uninhabitable island with a man willing to eat his own leg so the child had a shot at survival wasn't tragic enough for some people?!??!?? What does Judge's relation to Sanji add other than a last name he doesn't want and never claims? What do his supposedly emotionless family generate when Sanji has already been the character that chooses kindness when surrounded by cruel people. He's a freaking pirate! That's a normal Tuesday on some of the islands they go to! What did this arc add to him that made me look at his behavior differently? Should I thank Oda for adding another dead mom to his corpse arsenal, or will I acknowledge the fact he probably just wanted to add a super sentai reference so he could cover every style of anime in his giant storybook?

And I don't want to say Whole Cake was a bust. I mean Jinbei is there!! We finally get to see what kind of real threat Big Mom is!!! The Charlotte family is a colorful and tasty looking cast!!!! Sure the Katakuri fight wasn't nearly as exciting as other big encounters but there were big plot relevant things within the story including a connection to punk hazard! Yet, the whole thing with Sanji's biological family and this arranged marriage was the dumbest segway for us to get this information!

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Lena forgets how easily it is to fall for Andrea. Slowly at first... And then so, so fast. And Kara can only watch, while Lena is swept off her feet

It starts with sex. 

Plain, old boring sex. 

Well, not boring per se. They’ve spent their teenage years perfecting the art of making love to each other, and Andrea’s lost none of her touch.

But if Andrea thinks for one moment that it means she’ll get an ounce of Lena’s heart, she’s sorely mistaken.

Except Andrea doesn’t seem to get the memo. For Andrea, it means dropping off her specialty Argentinian coffee on her way to Obsidian– which Lena has no control over, and thereby has no other choice but to drink it– and invites to dinner that Lena can control and promptly declines. She isn’t interested in rekindling their relationship past their occasional romp in the sheets.

Every so often– by which Lena means every damn time– they end up at the same events, meetings,and galas. And every time, Andrea has a knack for catching Lena’s eye with a warm smile and a small tilt of her glass. As though she doesn’t comprehend that what they have is not a relationship– it’s not even friendship. It’s just pure physical contact with a favorable outcome. That’s it.

Until the inevitable moment that some idiots get it into their thick skulls to attack an otherwise mind numbingly boring event filled with the richest business men and women in National City. 

The masked group all fire a spray of bullets towards the ceiling, prompting a shower of sparks and debris to fall as patrons scream. 

“On the ground!” 

Lena bites down a scoff. In this dress? Not likely. Soon, she’s the lone figure left standing as the rest of the guests obey. This, of course, results in an assault rifle being pointed at her chest by the nearest goon.

Her heart rate picks up– the one tell of her nerves that has yet to fade, no matter how many violent events she survives. But her gaze remains steady as she meets the man’s eyes through the mask.

“You stupid or something?” he barks. “I said on the floor!”

Lena ignores the command. “So what is it this time? Theft or hostages?” She arches an eyebrow. “Or have you thought you’d be original and go for a two-fer?”

“Shut the fuck up!” he shouts, hitching his rifle higher on his shoulder. It’s clear to Lena that he’s unused to the weight and unfamiliar with how to use it aside from pulling the trigger. If he’d been a professional, the buttstock would be firmly in the pocket of his shoulder.

“First time?” she asks. All she needs to do, she knows, is stall. If she can keep the rest of them from getting shot until Supergirl arrives, the hero would take care of the rest.

Not that she’s looking forward to seeing the facade of her ex-best friend tonight. God no.

“Your men should be at the exits, dipshit,” she continues, neglecting to mention the glass skylights overhead that Supergirl would likely use as her point of ingress. “And if you need a hostage, all you need is me. Let the others go.”

“And why would I do that?”

“Because I’m worth more than all of them combined.” Lena smirks. “Not to mention–”

“It’ll look good at your sentencing,” a familiar voice cuts in. Lena startles, not at all expecting Andrea to appear at her side. Andrea holds the guy firm in her gaze. At his angry glare, visible even through the mask, Andrea shrugs. “Did you really expect to point a gun at Lena Luthor and not expect Supergirl to show up?”

Lena barely keeps the scowl from her face. She only just manages to keep her gaze lofty as Andrea continues, coming to a stop at her side. 

“In fact, I’d expect her to arrive any min–”

She’s cut off by a cacophonous shatter of screams and glass shattering overhead. Before the man has a chance to call out a warning to his crew, he and the rest of them are disarmed in a blur. The crowd still on the floor gasps at the display of super speed, but Lena remains unfazed. She’s more concerned by the figure standing beside her.

When the goons are all piled near one set of doors, and their weapons secured on the opposite side of the room, Supergirl appears before them.

“Are you two all right?” she asks, but her gaze is fixed on Lena. 

“Fine,” Lena clips out. She turns to leave both Kara and Andrea behind. She’d never admit it, but she’s rattled; all she wants to do is go home and pretend this night never happened.

She barely gets five steps before a hand reaches out for hers, catching her fingers gently. “Hey–”

Lena rips her hand from Andrea’s, whipping around to glare at her. “Don’t touch me.”

Her snarl stops Andrea short. Her eyes grow wide, but Lena only sees the hurt expression on the woman’s features for a heartbeat before she turns and marches into the chaos.

—

When she gets hom Lena immediately proceeds to try and forget the night. She shimmies out of her dress and leaves it where it puddles on her bedroom floor while she goes to take her hair down and wash the product out of it. By the time she steps out of the shower, her hands have stopped shaking. 

She manages to pour a steady finger of scotch into a glass– only to make it a double. It gives it at least two swallows before she pours a refill and finally moves to the couch. No sooner does her ass touch the cushion than a knock sounds at her door. Lena knows who it is without even getting up– Andrea. She never really did learn when to leave well enough alone. Like Kara. 

But when the knock turns into a fist pounding ceaselessly against the door, Lena resigns herself to hauling herself back onto tired feet and all but stomping towards the racket.

“What?” she snaps, yanking the door open. Without giving Andrea time to respond, she continues. “I’m not in the mood tonight.”

Andrea glares at her. “That’s not why I’m here and you know it.”

Lena glares back. As much as she’d like to slam the door in Andrea’s face, she can’t– Andrea’s fingers gripping the jam makes sure of that. Certain it’s deliberate, Lena rolls her eyes. 

“I don’t feel like talking either.”

“Tough shit.” Andrea’s gaze is intense and full of fire, clearly willing to fight Lena tit for tat. “Let me in or I’ll pound on this door until morning.”

With a scoff, Lena turns and walks back to the living room, leaving Andrea to do as she wished. What Andrea wished, it seems, is to slam the door behind her and march in after Lena.

“What the fuck was that?” she demands.

She’s still in her gown, Lena notes, still made up into a stunning picture of elegance and beauty. All the things Lena always felt she herself was not. “What was what?” she grumbles.

“Don’t give me that bullshit, :ena/ Not tonight.” Andrea peels off her coat and dumps it and her purse on the nearest surface– the coffee table. She keeps her heels on, though, bringing every elegant inch of herself to bear. “I try to check on you after a life threatening situation, and suddenly I’m the bad guy?”

Lena leans forward, slamming her glass on the coffee table before climbing back to her feet. “You don’t get to care about me!” she fires back. “You lost that right, or have you forgotten?”

“I haven’t forgotten what’s happened, but news flash, Lena– you don’t get to dictate who’s allowed to care about you!”

Lena’s face twists into a scowl. “Don’t thing for a second that just because I let you fuck me that–”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence!” Andrea shouts over her. SHe stands in front of Lena, shaking with rage. “That’s not what this is about!” She takes two rasping breaths. “You just stood up to a bunch of losers with assault rifles, and you’ve been through worse that I know you haven’t been this twisted up about. So why the fuck–”

“Because no one else has stood with me!”

The words blurt from Lena’s chest unbidden. Sudden tears burn at her eyes as she stares at Andrea staring at her. She swallows thickly. “Only Supergirl. But she’s invulnerable– might as well be crossing the street on a Tuesday.”

Lena scoffs at herself, wiping her eyes. When her vision clears, Andrea has softened. “Dont.”

“So you’re the only one allowed to risk your life?”

“I’m not–” she sniffles despite herself. She wraps her arms around herself. “I don’t get scared anymore, ‘Drea. not for myself. But when you– You can’t just–”

“Yes,” Andrea returns softly. “I can just.”

There’s no anger now– only new understanding. “But Lena… I was only able to be brave because you were.”

Lena has no words. None that could penetrate the sudden weight of meaning between them. Andrea regards her calmly, features unbearably soft. 

“Sounds like you’ve convinced yourself that your life doesn’t have value,” she says quietly. She takes a step forward, running her hand down Lena’s arm. Lena tries to move away, but Andrea doesn’t let her, clasping her wrist in a gentle grip.

“If that’s the case, I’m happy to be your wake up call.”

“‘Drea…”

“Don’t tell me not to care. Or that it’s different for you than it is for me. You were in as much danger as I was. I wish you would care as much for yourself as you do about me.”

Lena scoffs, but the sound feels hollow. “Please…”

“You can try to convince yourself that it’s just sex between us,” Andrea purrs, her voice low. “But we both know it isn’t.” She smiles. “That’s never been your style.”

An indignant protest bubbles up in Lena’s throat, but it dies on her lips under Andrea’s warm gaze. There she hesitates, unsure what to do or say next, and the resulting silence hangs palpably between them. Ultimately Andrea is the one to break it.

“Your heart has always been the best thing about you, Lena. Don’t do yourself the disservice of trying to convince yourself otherwise.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” Lena grumbles.

“Perhaps,” Andrea concedes. “But that doesn’t make it any less true.”

Their hands are still linked, and Andrea gives Lena’s a squeeze. “If sex is all you want right now,” she continues, “that’s fine. But I’m still going to care, and I’ll still know that you still care too.”

Lena blinks up at her, chest tightening against threatening tears. “How do you know that?”

“Because if you didn’t,” Andrea says quietly, brushing her thumb across the back of Lena’s hand, “you wouldn’t still be hurting.”

With that, Lena comes undone. Her lips pull against the tears that spill down her cheeks. This time she doesn’t resist when Andrea tugs her into a hug. She sinks into the warmth of her friend’s arms, suddenly feeling as though all the energy has left her. 

For the first time in her life, her hurt feels seen– seen in a way Kara hasn’t seemed to. She’s tired, tired of pretending she doesn’t want this– her friend back, her heart heard. 

She hasn’t intended to give anyone her forgiveness, but tonight she has the sinking suspicion that she forgave Andrea a long time ago.

((prompts are closed))