#but on the opposite side of the coin i don't often care what other people think of me!

[that-transsexual-slytherin]

fighting demons trying to decide how much i let my hp hyperfixation breach containment

[starlit-soothsayer]

So what's your issue with Sai? /genq

I have issues with plenty of people. The internet is full of obnoxious individuals, and for the purposes of my main accounts online I quickly block them (it's what those tools are for, after all). That doesn't mean I don't enjoy watching from a distance, however.

Sai is just one on a long list of internet people that wreak havoc wherever they go. Most just don't seem to notice that because she often targets (or tries to target) people that the internet masses are likely to frown upon. Lily Orchard is ideal for this. A vast majority of the internet dislikes her or doesn't care about her. To me, though, it's about the same as watching any United States election since 2016. It's not about getting something good anymore, it's about taking the side of the guy who sucks a little less.

To put it simply, Sai and Lily are two sides of the same coin.

Lily just so happens to have done much worse things by comparison and Sai just so happens to have opinions on media most agree with and internet history that hasn't been picked clean. At the end of the day though, their personalities and way of interacting with the web at large are incredibly similar.

Both of them, despite repeatedly claiming the opposite, are hopelessly obsessed with each other. Both of them use what little amount of minority status they have as a shield against critics. Both of them love to argue, to the point where it seems it's the only form of communication they can navigate. Both are quick to cry cowardice when someone decides an argument isn't worth having and walks away. Both of them must get in the last word, always. Both of them feel that they are in the right all the time, and that anyone else is either stupid, immature, or both. Both of them often label others as sensitive until it's their own feelings that are on the chopping block.

The best thing that Lily could do, if she really wanted to hurt her critics and make them leave her be, is to simply disappear from the internet entirely and let the people leeching off of her starve. The communities based entirely on making fun of her would dissolve overnight. Lily would never do that of course, because she has the same problem as Sai (one also pinpointed by CrimsonEnder): she simply can't let things go.

Neither of them will ever have the ability to walk away from something unless they have the final say, no matter how small it is. I've seen them both revive petty squabbles that have already long since simmered down for the sake of just wanting to argue.

It's not exactly difficult to put together why Sai has so many "haters" when almost every public interaction she has is a argument. It's not always about some form of homophobia or sexism or difference of opinion. Pardon my French, but sometimes your personality just fucking sucks.

[nekropsii]

What a about Caliborn makes him so cool in your opinion?

Go keep track of his progression as an artist alongside his development as a character and think about how these are intrinsically linked. Ponder the fact that he is both at his most obnoxious and at his most amateur when trying to ignore his unique style explicitly brought on by his canonical learning disability and mimic others rather than truly be himself. Consider how his explorations of art are genuinely cool, not a bad thing, and how we get some really neat multimedia stuff out of it.

Caliborn may be a shitty little teenage wretch but the way he is portrayed as an artist and as a disabled person is both really good and very real. It comes from a place of love. His learning disability is handled with a degree of gentle care that you would not really expect from Hussie. The place Caliborn's art style ends up in is so fucking sick and I actually unironically love it. The technique he uses is really interesting. It's intentionally reminiscent of an Etch-a-Sketch, and I'm a little obsessed with it.

This is so fucking good. I mean this seriously. He's right - that is some Pure Art Skill.

I just love the way art is employed as a necessary component of his character arc. It's so neat. You don't see visual cues that intricate too often. Usually it's just in character design, but watching his entire art style and even his medium of choice change several times over is fascinating. You can really tell Hussie had a lot of fun with him. He's also just really, really fucking funny. Just about every sentence that comes out of his mouth is Grade A Absolute Fucking Gold, and I'm honestly obsessed with his dynamic with Dirk. This may get me thrown to the wolves, but I personally think Dirk and Caliborn have way more chemistry than Dirk and Jake. Maybe that's because we actually see Dirk and Caliborn interact on screen... Lmao.

Necessary Topic: I don't know why people hate him so much. Like, I understand hating his misogyny and fatphobia, sure, but those are deliberate character points and not just Hussie-isms. I see people act like Caliborn is indicative of Hussie, as if Homestuck-era Hussie wasn't, like, famously really fucking good at writing female characters and absolutely not a misogynist. Caliborn's a parody of Homestuck Anti-Fans - which is a term we really ought to bring back, god, anti-fans are absolutely still a thing and good lord they're everywhere - who really were just shitty little bigoted haters. Calliope, the opposite side of his coin, was representative of, essentially, "the best kind of Homestuck fan" - an ultimately sweet young teen girl who willingly dedicates almost all of her time to this piece of fiction she loves so, so much, who draws a lot of fan art for the joy of it all, has OCs that don't fit any of the design conventions in Homestuck whom she pairs with the characters in it for innocent fun. Someone who has a lot of theories and analyses, writes a lot of fanfic, and is genuinely just having a lot of fun. Everyone loves Calliope. Even the characters in Homestuck love Calliope. They just think she's the cutest, sweetest little thing they ever did see. Caliborn was the worst kind. He sucks on purpose. No one likes him. He is a total nuisance to characters he is by all means trying to impress. I love them both.

It's also just funny that he's a canonical Intersex Transmasc who is probably Gay and this has, like, no relevance to anything about him, really. So no one really talks about it. Gender Hilarious, Gender Nefarious.

[aspoonofsugar]

Some Millie and IMP Thoughts

I love Helluva Boss's new episode for all the reasons everyone else does! In particular, my favorite part is Millie getting fleshed out more.

I have always liked Millie and I disagree with people saying she is badly written. That said, the focus she got this episode adds a ton of depth to both her, her role in the series and the dynamics within IMP.

BLITZ AND IMP

Blitz is the titular character and protagonist of the series. He is the boss in Helluva Boss. As a result, everyone else is in the story for his sake. In particular, IMP is Blitz's found family:

Blitzo: Look, the point is, Loona is a valued member of our family, and we don't get rid of family. Moxxie: We aren't a family, sir! You are the boss! We are the employees!

Through them (and Stolas) Blitz gets to explore his ghosts and to heal. How is that so?

Loona and Moxxie seem to me two sides of the same coin:

-Loona is like Blitz, as she is told by the world she has no real value:

Adoption Center Lady: Oh, her? That's just Loona. What a nightmare. Serious attitude problems. She'll be out of our hair next month when she ages out. Good riddance, if you ask me. She'll never amount to anything much.

So, Blitz latches on her and adopts her. He showers her with the love he never got from his father.

-Moxxie is like Blitz, as he is abused by his father and loses his mother. As a result, he grows up unsure of himself and in need of love and approval:

Blitzo: Well, I'm glad everything ended up okay. Good to know we both have daddy issues, Mox.

However, Blitz often treats him poorly, downplays his abilities and mocks him.

So, Loona and Moxxie are Blitz's mirrors, as he projects on them in opposite ways. He treats Loona like he wishes his father treated him. He treats Moxxie similarly to how his father treated him. Obviously, Blitz isn't an abuser like Buckzo. He loves Moxxie and more importantly he is not his father. However, he and Moxxie do have a mentor-mentee dynamic and it is clear as day Moxxie wants Blitz's approval:

Blitzo: Gonna be honest, Moxxie- Not too bad for your first solo mission. Moxxie: Reeeeeally, siiiir? Blitzo: Nooo, no, not really. You're a fucking disgrace.

Still, Blitz is often unable to give it to him, despite the fact he clearly cares. This is also why Loona and Moxxie get often on each other's nerves:

Loona: How am I supposed to smell anything in this city? Moxxie: Can't you even do one thing right? Loona: Can't you finally do something about how fat you are?

Moxxie is the most critical of Blitz's favoritism towards Loona and is the one insisting Blitz calls her out on her poor attitude towards clients. This is not by chance. They are just like bickering siblings :''')

In a sense, this episode even subtly confirms this foiling:

Blitz: Loonie's perfect, and Moxxie's… probably got some good traits too and I'm sure we'll figure them out eventually.

Loona is perfect and Moxxie has no good traits. What about seeing the world in black and white?

So, where does Millie fit in all of this?

Blitzo: So I'm your best friend, huh? Millie: What do you think? Blitzo: I think…I- I've never had a real friend that I didn't wanna fuck.

She is the only one Blitz does not project over, so they grow into genuine friends. They are equals, value each other and love each other. So, Millie freely states what Loona and Moxxie also think, but can't properly convey:

Millie: He (Blitz) gave me so much…A career, a husband, a future. And now…He's my best friend. Blitzo: You… you don't hate me? Millie: Naw, never.

Blitz gave her, Moxxie and Loona a better future. He is their precious boss and a treasured family member.

MILLIE'S THEME

Helluva Boss has two main themes:

Relationships

Classism

Moxxie is linked to Blitz's unhealthy way to build relationships. Their bond is a complicated mix of friendship, family love, professional interest and a little bit of possessiveness on Blitz's part. That's why it is so complicated and contradictive. Millie ties into this as Moxxie's wife, since M&M's relationship is Blitz's ideal one.

Still, this episode makes clear Millie's true thematic relevance is for the topic of classism:

Millie: We… heh. We don't deserve this. We're just Wrathians, Blitzo. Muscle. It's all we're good for, all I'm good for. It's why you hired me. Any demon good at making a buck is welcome in Lust or Greed, but here? Demons like us ain't cut out for this.

Classism permeates Hell, which is built on a strong hierarchy. All characters have suffered the consequences of this, while being influenced by it at the same time. For example:

Blitz is an imp, who has been looked down and victimized by society. However, he also embraces classist prejudices and uses them as an excuse to push Stolas away.

Stolas is a Goetia, who has been a prisoner of his family's expectations and of his role in society. However, he is also unconsciously discriminating towards imps. He has no ill will towards them, but he calls them silly names and belittles them

Millie is the same. She is a wrathian imp of humble origins. In a sense, she is a stereotypical imp. She is incredibly strong, was born and lived the majority of her life in Wrath, aka imps' original ring. She fits the expectations of both her family and society. However, she deep down wishes for more, which is why she leaves the family ranch to become an assassin. This choice is already seen as subversive by her family, who expected her to stay home, so she could help with the family business. However, Millie herself has no high expectations for her future:

Millie: Bullshit! Who sent you? Millie: Who are you working for?! Blitzo: What? You don't believe me? Millie: Imps don't work for themselves, asshole.

She still sees herself stuck in Wrath. She will be one of many underpaid goons, who work for higher ranking demons. A life a little bit more adventurous than the one at the farm. Still, nothing extraordinary. Then, she meets Blitz:

Millie: Who's that? Your boss? Hah! Blitzo: HA he fucking wishes. No, I work for myself, lady.

Blitz is the first one, who recognizes her potential and who believes she can become more than what she is. He gives her the chance to explore the world outside the Wrath Ring and brings her up to Pride. When Millie doubts herself and her role in society, he is the one to reassure her:

Blitzo: Millie, I have spent too much of my time, energy, and holes into setting this up for us to entertain your bullshit. I brought you into this company for a reason, okay? You're tougher, smarter, and frankly more capable than anyone I've ever met in any ring.

Blitz gives Millie a new life, where she is free to be herself and to choose a husband she would have never chosen, if she had stayed home with her family.

Thanks to Blitz and her work at IMP she is by this point a different person than the one she was. She does not completely fit in Wrath anymore:

Sallie May: Heh, yeah, I mean, with so many exciting things here, it's no wonder you never make your way back home. SHIT! That slipped out. Millie: ..What? Sallie May: You know… the Wrath Ring, all that dirt and rust and boring nothingness. Not much of a thriving club scene down there, why visit that, right?

Which is why she is now slowly overcoming her prejudices:

Millie: Oh yeah! Y'all haven't met my boss Blitzo! And his hellhound! Loona: I'm not just his hellhound.

It is not by chance Millie is the one calling Loona Blitz's Hellbound, as if she were a pet. Moreover, it is not by chance she does so, while talking with her family. It is probably normal for wrathian imps to see hellbounds as property. So, when she visits home, she goes back to a familiar language and mindset, without even realizing how offensive it is. That is why it is relevant this episode has Millie share a bonding moment with Loona, where she calls her by name:

Millie: Thanks. Loona.

She is not only overcoming her self-insecurities, but she is also starting to see other demons differently. She is growing not only more happy, but also more open minded. All thanks to Blitz's impact on her life:

Millie: Most of my life I bought into the idea that all I could ever be was a simple farm girl. Or best an underpaid goon. Until I met some knucklehead who never gave a fuck about what anyone else said he could or couldn't be. He made me believe he could be anything. And that made me feel like I could be anything, too.

CHARLIE AND BLITZ

Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss are twin series. They are complementary stories, with different focuses and a shared heart. This is shown in Charlie and Blitz, their respective protagonists. They are opposites.

Charlie is a royal demon, a young rich girl, who is optimistic and idealistic. She is obsessed with seeing the good in others. Blitz is instead a humble imp, an adult man, who is cynical and genre-savy. He sees only the worst in people to protect himself. However, both disrupt the status quo:

Charlie decides to completely change the hierarchy between hell and heaven. She is breaking the system the world is built on and re-writing the laws of the universe.

Blitz changes things in little ways. He is not trying to reform society, but he still acts in ways society does not expect, so he subverts hierarchies and transforms people around him.

That's something that comes up several times:

Striker: Boss, huh…? Ohhh, so YOU'RE the bold imp to start his own killing biz? Blitzo: Yeah, well if you're good at somethin', you should probably capitalize. Striker: Not many Imps start businesses on their own. That's pretty impressive, sir.

Crimson: Oh, I'm sure. You got to be Blitz, with the silent "o", right? I've heard a lot of good things about you and your work. Blitzo: Really? What kind of shit has Moxxie been spreading about me? I'll fucking kill you Moxxie, don't you fucking test me! Crimson: No, no! From all over. Looks like you're building a bit of a name for yourself here, kid.

Both Striker and Crimson comment on Blitz's business, in two moments that are to be seen as parallels:

-Striker says so, as the group visits Millie's family. Millie's family is a relatively happy one, as they all clearly love each other. However, it is an economically struggling one:

Joe: We lost our old farm hand to one of them terrors last week.

Millie's parents are loving, but traditionalists and stuck in the old ways.

-Crimson says so, as the group meets him and discovers he is Moxxie's father. Crimson is an imp, who built an empire. Moreover, he is not scared to go against the hierarchy and to challenge even the deadly sins:

Crimson: You probably just asked if I know who I'm dealing with. And, oh yes, I know. The weakest and most non-threatening of the Sins. The king who will do whatever it takes to save the worst-kept secret in all of Hell. We both know you won't risk anything happening to the clown. So be a good little bitch boy, and do the thing. My lawyers will be over shortly with the contract of demands. You have until the witching hour to sign it. Hueheheheheheheh!

Still, he sacrifices everything else to greed. In order to climb up, he destroys everyone around him. He killed his wife and abused Moxxie, so his son leaves him the first chance he gets.

In other words, Blitz offers Millie the opportunity to social climb and he offers Moxxie true friendship and comraderie. He gives them what they miss and want.

STRIKER

Finally, this episode indirectly adds a new layer to Striker's character and his role in the series. So, Striker is clearly everyone's dark foil.

Specifically, he is Blitz's jungian shadow aka what Blitz represses:

Striker: Blitzo, come on. You know, the two of us are superior than most of our kind. And you were so above suckin' on a disgusting, rich, pompous Goetia, only to sneak topside for scraps and work for bitter sinners, who could care less who you are, when you could be slaying Overlords.

He embodies Blitz's darkest side and tempts him to give in to it. For example, he backs Blitz up in his fight with Fizz over Royal Demons:

Striker: As far as I'm concerned, you two are BOTH embarrassments to our kind for meddlin' with blue-bloods to begin with. But at least loud-mouth here has the sense to only fuck his rich bitch, instead of bein' a little purse dog. Blitzo: Oh, great. The fuckin' supremacist is on my side, wonderful. Fizzarolli: Neither of you filth bags know what you're even talkin' about. If you think you're superior to ANYONE, then you're no better than any royal— Striker: DON'T. You. Dare… Finish that sentence, clown…

And let's say it is not by chance Striker is burnt and probably gets some scars the same episode it is revealed Blitz accidentally set his family circus on fire:

He is clearly meant to embody the anti-theme, both when it comes to relationships and classism. He is who Blitz might become, if he gave in to his worst instincts. That is why he is the character physically threatening Stolas's life and calling him out on his privilege at the same time:

Striker: YOU. Don't get to talk over me! I don't have to listen to your bullshit! All you royals ever do is try to talk over us!

He challenges Stolas to see the darkness in Blitz he keeps ignoring. Moreover, Striker's attempt on Stolas only works because Blitz himself does not warn Stolas, believing that with his powers the goetia can easily survive an imp's attack:

Blitzo: Stolas got what? How?… He can get hurt?

In short, Striker is a key character for both Blitz and Stolas. That said, he does foil also Moxxie and Millie. (Which is why they get to fight him twice, just like Blitz - they lose the first time and win the second).

In his debut episode, he is openly juxtaposed to Moxxie. He is the ideal imp, the one Millie's parents would have liked their daughter to marry. He is a great farmer and an even better fighter. He is strong and charming and easily defeats Moxxie at everything, even music. That said, it turns out Moxxie is a far better person and husband and gets to call out Millie's parents on it, gaining their respect in the process:

Moxxie: Y'know, she protected me. And maybe I'm not a strong beefy dickhead, but Millie has the strength enough for both of us! You two are getting on her case about being hurt by a psychopath you hired?! Shaaaaame on you!

Ghostf***ckers instead makes Striker and Millie's foiling obvious. Both are wrathian assassins, who work as goons for others:

Millie: Not exactly a shortage of imp assassins in Wrath. Reputation is everything.

Here lies Striker's contradiction. He keeps saying he hates the hierarchy, but in the end he acts exactly as society expects him to:

Stolas: Well, you seem to be forgetting; you are working for a royal right now!

He hates royals, but takes orders from them. Even when he decides to leave Wrath, he goes to Greed, so exactly where "imps able to make a buck are welcome", according to Millie:

Crimson: HEY! Hick-for-hire! I said watch 'em, not fuck 'em. Keep ya hands off the merchandise!

See? Striker acts like some big shot, but in the end he operates within the system, rather than subverting it. Both Fizz and Blitz are far more successful at overcoming the hierarchy than he is. Fizz does not take orders from royals, but becomes a romantic and business partner to one. Blitz does not resort depending on royals or imps for his job. Rather, he takes orders only from himself and invents a new business.

Striker says not everyone gets the chance to live in Pride:

Striker: Look. Not every ring is some fancy-ass city, with some fancy-ass mansion, that only fancy-ass royals get to live in. Some of us have hard lives to live.

And yet, he is offered it by Blitz, just like Millie:

Blitzo: Isn't this guy great? It's gonna be nice workin' with him. Yeaaaah! I asked him if he wants to join I.M.P.

If he had joined IMP, he could have found a family, a strong business partner and could have embraced a new life. He did not and became IMP's enemy instead. On the contrary, Millie did and is now a happier and better person.

WHAT ABOUT LOONA?

Personally, I think Loona is gonna be key in Blitz's development, as both her past, arc and relationship with her dad are very well set up. If Moxxie focuses on relationships, whereas Millie on classism, Loona will probably offer a synthesis of both themes:

Loona is Blitz's adoptive daughter and the first member of his new found family.

Loona is a hellbound, so a demon even lower than imps.

I am very curious to see how her story develops and I am looking forward to discover more about her past and to see if her foiling with Bee gets explored more. After this episode I am more curious than ever!

[xiaomainlmao]

Summary- Akashi Seijuro, the man with a split personality, meets a person who has no personality. Basically, Dissociative Identity Disorder vs Depersonalization-derealization disorder.

----------

Trauma.

No matter how big or small, it's the one main thing that can lead to personality disorders.

And no matter how dull your eyes looked when he forced you to look up, he knew that there was something behind your irises that resembled what he sees in his own reflection in the mirror.

Akashi Seijuro, the first year student council president, captain of the Rakuzan basketball team, the man feared by everyone in the school including his seniors. It was near impossible to surprise him, he seemed unfazed by everything.

And yet, his heterochromatic eyes were dilated. He stared into your own eyes, which showed no signs of any emotion whatsoever- no fear, no respect, not even surprise when he suddenly shoved your shoulder and forced you to look towards him.

He was tired of how you only responded to his words with a simple "mhm" as you did whatever reasonable job was asked of you. He was annoyed that you didn't show him the same level of respect as everyone else did in your class. And he was frustrated with how you just seemed to not care about his presence.

He needed answers.

And he did get answers, without you having to say anything.

"Tch," he walked away.

He had an urge to talk to you, be around you and find out exactly what lead you to be like this, just so he could feel like there's at least someone out there who would understand him. But he suppressed his urges.

He'd hear Oreshi's voice every once in a while, suggesting Bokushi to open up a bit, but as long as it was Bokushi in control, Akashi Seijurou would never let his pride fall.

"Maybe if I lose, if that ever happens." he'd scoff in reply, as he looked at himself when he washed his face before heading to bed. "If that ever happens..."

The Winter Cup was just around the corner. And as expected, Rakuzan made it to the finals without breaking a sweat. People from their school were there in the stadium, cheering them on throughout the matches, but Akashi noticed that there were also some who stopped showing up after a couple matches.

And he wouldn't have been bothered by it if you weren't one of them. All he wants was acknowledgement from someone like him, and yet here he is, facing off against his former teammates, knowing they wouldn't understand everything that runs through his mind.

Bokushi and Oreshi truly were like two sides of a coin, opposite but cannot live without each other. They were half of a whole of what made Akashi. But that also caused him to be confused about his own feelings. While both seeked attention, Oreshi wanted it to be out of understanding, while Bokushi wanted respect. Prideful was Bokushi but with a considerate Oreshi in the way, Akashi couldn't help but get swayed away often.

In the end, Rakuzan lost to Seirin in the Winter Cup. Bokushi accepted his loss as Oreshi was free to be in control again.

"What happened to your hair?"

Akashi found himself in front of you. He hadn't given it much thought, letting his instincts, his need, drive him this once.

He seemed to have changed a lot. But you on the other hand, seemed the same as ever as you sat there, alone, in the school courtyard, your lunch on your lap. That same, expressionless expression...

"Listen, I just want to talk."

"Oh, is this you letting go of your pride?" you took a bite of your food. "Wow, what happened?"

"Just thought of changing some things up. I hardly doubt that's abnormal."

You just hummed in response and continued staring into the distance. Akashi was feeling nervous. This is the one time he's willing to let go of his pride, so he better utilize it to the fullest. "Do you mind if I join you?"

"Sure, this spots empty anyway."

"What about your friends?"

"They're probably eating together, somewhere. I don't know, and I don't really care. All I want is to look at that bird nest over there."

Akashi followed your finger to the bird nest, where two baby birds sat, cuddling up to a much bigger bird. Then he looked back at you and the way your eyes were glimmering at the sight.

Huh, maybe you do show some emotions. And, if he were being completely honest, then even his eyes were probably glimmering at the sight. It was pretty peaceful after all.

"Say, Akashi-san, do you have an interest in the concept of 'still life'? It may seem boring to some, but it can bring a lot of peace to some others."

"I haven't heard too much about it, but would love to know more. Please do continue, yn."

Most of Akashi's conversations included work. To be able to talk about something so casual was a bit foreign to him, but he certainly didn't mind it. He hadn't realized how easy it was for him to get along with you. Was it because he'd grown used to your unfazed nature towards him and and his position? Was it because he realized that being seen as just another person isn't so bad after all? That he doesn't always need to assert his superiority as he was told to by Bokushi and his father?

Healing is conditional. It takes time and the right people. And maybe, choosing to be here with you might be his first step.

He's not sure whether this is Oreshi's consideration or Bokushi's pride, but he doesn't even want think about it, because right now, he's sure of one thing.

He wants to help you both get through whatever together.

----------

[transmultiphobia-discussion]

Hello, and welcome to transmultiphobia discussion!

I had the idea to create this blog for a while and now decided to put it into action. This blog centered around transmultiphobia, or alternatively monogenderism, the specific bigotry and oppression towards multigendered individuals- people who exist within multiple gendered categories (or simply, identify with more than one gender).

If you want to understand more of the basics of transmultiphobia and how it works, here is the coining post going over it.

Monogenderism is a term I will use that specifically focuses on the erasure, ignorance, and hostility towards multigender individuals while upholding monogender identity, but it may be used as a synonym to transmultiphobia. (EDIT: Expanding on this; I use it similarly to the idea of monogender normativity, that being the concept that monogender is the baseline expectation of all people, and how that idea shows in people's attitudes towards or lack of recognition of multigenders).

Multigender people (bigender, pangender, polygender, genderfluid, etc.) are often left out of discussions, seen as less important or too small to consider, had our identities attacked, accused of being predatory, invaders, had our genders otherized or seen as less real than monogenders (degendering), taken less seriously or as some punchline without actual care to us as people, forced to fit into binary categories/ideas, left out of discussions regarding nonbinary people or not acknowledged to be part of the nonbinary community at all, told to other ourselves from monogender people, told to pick a side, told we aren't real, told we all have interalized transphobia and can't accept we're either trans or cis, and many more. All for existing within the queer community as multigendered. I feel there is little acknowledgement of how we experience identity in people's conversations, when defining terms, and when they go to police who and who doesn't belong. I want to start up more discussions surrounding the way multigender people are treated both in and outside the queer community, and that having and using a word to describe that experience can help navigate it.

I view transmultiphobia as a subset of exorsexism (the belief in a strict gender binary, a form of bigotry against people who don't neatly fit the gender binary), rooted in (trans)misogyny, oppositional sexism (a term coined by Julia Serano based on the idea that man and woman are exclusive, opposing categories), beliefs found in biphobia, and of course transphobia. There can be other bigotries surrounding it, but I found these to be the most frequent culprits in what causes these attitudes towards multigender people.

I also want to say this blog is for all multigender people to talk about their oppression, no matter the genders they identify with- it doesn't have to be man+woman. Though I will say that there is a specific treatment that people who identify as both a man and a woman go through with navigating society existing in both those categories. Not that it's more important or worse than what other multigender people go through, just that it's unique to them and there is quite a lack of focus on their issues that deserves to be given voice to.

Important links:

The Similarities Between Biphobia and Transmultiphobia

You Can't Win

Transmasc Lesbianism

why have us queer people as a community normalized terms like "boygirl" or "girlboy" or other things like that but not like. the actual experience of being multigender

Yeah yeah, okay, we get it, male/female multigenders are “valid”. But move past the nonprofit infographic nonsense for a second

Chameleon

Chameleon (2)

Good Bigender

It's so wild to me that as a community we're still so hostile to multigender and genderfluid people existing in gay and lesbian spaces

Genderfucked

(I am absolutely open to being sent multigender focused posts and links/articles outside of tumblr, finding ones about discrimination multigender people face has been hard so anything will do! I actually plan to write and publish essays relating to multigender identity someday).

A quick FAQ just in case:

Is transmultiphobia really a necessary term? Isn't it just exorsexism/transphobia?

Transmultiphobia IS exorsexism and transphobia, but there are ways it's used against people who exist in multiple gender categories specifically that is often left out in discussions of exorsexism/transphobia. I see it perpetuated by trans and nonbinary allies often, and discussions/ideas that may support non-multigender trans and nonbinary people may not support us.

Does this mean trans people who aren't multigender have privilege over multigender people?

Nope! Not at all. No trans person is "preferred" over the other, and to say this would be measuring how bad each trans persons oppression really is in comparison to another, which is useless and doesn't do anything to help anyone. Trans people who aren't multigender are capable of being hateful towards and furthering anti-multigender narratives, but to say they have it "better" than multigenders would be untruthful and ignorant. Bigoted I would say.

I don't feel like the discrimination multigender people face is significant enough or unique from other forms of transphobia, so transmultiphobia shouldn't be a thing. Why do you feel the need to use this word?

Even if you don't feel like discrimination towards us is significant or 'unique,' there are quite a lot of us who feel the opposite and would like to have a word to talk about it. A lot of us feel alienated from both wider society and the queer community. If you think this way, I suggest you listen to multigender people when we talk about our experiences. On another note, this will not be a blog debating on this topic like so much of 'transandrophobia' discussions gets derailed about 95% of the time. I am frankly tired of seeing these debates and would rather focus on things more productive. I would also like to say that not every single thing we talk about on this blog that we face as multigender people is 100% exclusive to multigender people. That's not a definite line anyone can make and it's not saying other people don't face it too if multigender person talks about a particular thing they experience.

What is the goal of this blog?

I want to bring more awareness of multigender people's issues to the wider queer community and to consider us more in their activism, meanwhile giving multigenders a chance to speak about their experiences and to feel heard.

What's the deal with your banner?

My banner was made by @/bugbuoyx, the reason why I made it that was because tumblr decided to mark this blog as explicit without me ever having made a post or set anything for my blog theme. The reason why? Well the best I can go off of was because it has trans in it. haven't been given any other possibe explanation. But it has been resolved, lets just hope they don't do it again.

What's your opinion on XYZ???

I do want to keep the focus of this blog on multigender people first and foremost, and as such won't be bringing up any other "discourses" too much that may shift the focus and end up with fights on here. I am a person that aims for understanding and inclusivity first and foremost, so I am not against most things if it isn't truly harming anybody. I have self-identified in the past as a radical inclusionist, though I don't tend to use it much anymore as I don't think being accepting of all queer people should be any 'radical' stance and should just be decency.

I won't have any set dni yet, if it becomes a problem with some people then I'll set one, but I just don't want to divert attention away from the main purpose of this blog.

And so a little about me: I'm a member of a plural system, I don't talk too much about being plural and us being plural doesn't affect too much of my interactions. But we're working on communication and trying to share front space more recently (we presumably have pdid), so if I'm out of commission or not as active then that may be one of the reasons why. The other reason is that I won't always be in the mood to have discussions surrounding discrimination as it is a draining topic, so sometimes it'll take me a little longer to get to posting. You can refer to me by he/they pronouns :] feel free to ask off topic questions about my interests, plurality, etc.

I won't be adding on my main blog onto here, but I won't exactly keep it hidden by any means necessary and if you know it you know it. But I will say I also run @our-lesboy-experience

Sorry for the long intro post, sorry for how online I seem and am, and sorry if I possibly add onto it in the future!

EDIT: btw, you can filter "#examples of transmultiphobia" if you don't want to see actual hate

[heretherebedork]

Watching Shun and Asuka's romance makes me feel weird. I mean I KNOW they are in love, and people with polar-opposite personalities can be in a healthy, loving relationship. But, it just doesn't feel right. Like of course there is the issue of miscommunication, but it's just, Shun doesn't even try to understand Asuka, while Asuka really does try. And jealousy is not going to solve the issue of at least trying to see if your partner is comfortable in the relationship. That's the bare minimum. Maybe Asuka just lacks peripheral understanding, but I just don't think that's true. I mean you can be reserved, quiet, and not-talkative at all, but how can you completely not understand that your partner, who you love and who loves you is not really feeling this relationship.

Because Shun is absolutely, devastatingly well, played as neurodivergent.

Because what he sees is Asuka getting exactly what he asked for and being in a relationship. Remember what he listed to Shin? Why he told him he thought they were in a relationship? Because his definition of a relationship is different and he doesn't even realize it because it's easy to make assumptions about your life when you don't understand how people think.

Asuka is doing his best, he really is, but what Shun needs is direct, open and clear communication that he can't just walk away from. But, understandably, Asuka isn't doing that. Because that's hard and it's complex and it's painful and it often feels like it's unnecessary because the things that Shun needs to hear are the things most people don't say outloud or need to say.

Shun talks about being in a relationship but his definition of a relationship is so narrow and careful that he can't see outside of his own boundaries.

He said a 'a promise is a promise' because he values that promise and Asuka's success over the idea of a date that he wants to go on because that is how he experiences love and care for others. Shun specifically shows his love by encouraging Asuka to be better, whatever it takes. Even if that means leaving him alone to study because it will, supposedly, be better.

And that's the hardest part of their relationship and where I wonder about where the show is going to go with them.

Because both of them need to learn to speak each other's languages and that is a huge part of a relationship.

But the show could also just be showing that sometimes things don't work out... but, honestly, that doesn't feel like Minato Shouji Coin Laundry.

I think this is a story about learning to speak clearly and directly but also learning how to love people that are different than you and learning how to respect both your own feelings and to insure that other people understand them.

Shun is in a relationship where he doesn't understand that kind of relationship he is in, what Asuka feels or even, honestly, what he feels himself.

And that is how he has to grow and change and learn, to figure out what he feels and what he wants but also to understand that Asuka also has just as important feelings and wants. Because right now Shun is very focused on how he views love and what he feels is best in the relationship rather than what is truly needed in the relationship.

Will jealousy solve that? No. Will it help? Actually, to me, yes.

Because jealousy is going to force Shun to face how he feels and how much Asuka means to him and it will open a new kind of communication between them because jealousy and hurt on Shun's side is different than from Asuka's side.

I'm not sure this entire response made sense.

But it's important to me that this story about growth and change is about Shun recognizing his own feelings and realizing that he wants more than he's giving and both of them walking this line together.

[fierceawakening]

So I think the thing that's not translating wrt the boundary discussion is that like... something being a basic human need does not mean that any one person is required to give people that thing.

people's worst impulses often come from basic human needs. people need attention and care and love and are willing to do horrible, horrible things to get it. this does not make the horrible things somehow okay-- and it also does not mean that you are required to drop everything to meet those needs so that they won't do horrible things.

figuring out how to get those needs met in a healthy, safe, loving way is an individual person's responsibility. if they can't do that? it's a crying shame. but it's also not the job of people around them to put aside their other basic needs (like "physical and mental safety" and "privacy") to take care of them.

because at the end of the day, you are responsible for figuring out how to meet your own needs, and trying to force yourself to meet the needs of everyone around you means you burn out fast and hard. even if you work as a professional caregiver, you need parts of your life where you put yourself first.

you've been conditioned to put your own needs aside for other people's benefit-- which is real common for people with parents like ours- but like, that's the opposite side of the same coin. it's not actually the ethical thing to do here, no matter how much other people might tell you it is.

Thank you, yes.

This is the thing I'm trying to articulate, and the thing I feel like a lot of people on Tumblr don't acknowledge.

Sometimes I feel like people don't acknowledge it because they don't actually know people like you and me exist, which would mean they think they're asking for a small thing when they're actually asking for a big thing. ("Let me be narcissistic" as "Don't judge me for having a delusional belief in my own inherent superiority, as lots of people believe very weird things and you ignore them" vs. "Let me be narcissistic" as "Don't let on that YOU believe I'm not superior because hearing that will hurt me. Dance around it forever to protect me, because I'm in pain." Which is the thing I hear, usually. And I'm like, "I can dance around it a LITTLE bit right this SECOND to be courteous, but long term? Nah, bro, nah. BTDT.")

Sometimes, though, I feel like people don't acknowledge it as a power move. ("If I say that, as a narcissist, I need supply, I can turn a whole social media site into a generator. Especially if I tell them they're ableist if they don't pitch in. Isms mean you're evil. No one wants to be called ist, and they'll do a lot to avoid it.")

And that's what I feel like no one wants to talk about, I think. That sometimes maybe it's just a power move. That if you suspect it might be a power move, it's not actually weird or uncalled for that your reaction isn't just "no," it's seasoned with emotions like anger, or judgment of character, or "first of all how dare you."

Do I know for sure if it's a power move on my mom's part, or if it's legitimate psychic pain? No, I don't, and thinking about that in depth I suspect it's a mix of both.

But here's the thing.

If I think it might be a power move? Then there's not actually something untoward about me being angry. About my reaction not JUST being "I can't do that for you without killing myself, so I regretfully choose not to," but being, you know, "Hey! Fuck you!"

And what I want right now is reassurance that "Hey! Fuck you!" is a way I get to feel.

Which I think everyone is saying! But when people say "Oh, but it might be a legitimate access need," I start to feel guilty or weird for "Hey! Fuck you!"

So what I think I need from people (if they agree with this, but I think they do agree?) is

"Keep screaming 'Fuck you' if that's what you feel like doing. It's okay to leave 'what is the legitimate access need here, if any?' to one side right now. Maybe forever!

"'Fuck you' is the reaction you're SUPPOSED to be having to realizing this isn't just annoying but abusive. You can decide what to forgive later, if anything--for now, the forgive is Jesus's job."

[delfinaschiffer]

I know no one cares enough but I just felt lile sharing this. SO, a while ago I was with a friend of mine who also plays TW and we were discussing how cursedly similar I am to Azul (in being the chuby girl at school and your local coin collector) and then she looked into Azul's wiki page to find out he has a stepfather.

Now, having reading a lot of fanfic involving cecaelias and mermaids (I love them) I grew into the idea of them being loners (and them being able to mate with normal mermaids) and so and interesting idea begin to flow into our minds. What if, Azul's mother and stepfather are regular mermaids? What if his stepfather also has a cecaelia daugther? and they bounded over the trouble of raising a cecaelia offspring?

Thus, Morgana, my Oc, was born.

Of course, my friend couldn't be left behind, and being a huge Vil simp she created her own Oc, named Lumiere, and thus began to write this whole joke of au. I like how she writes and it inspired me to draw them because I never say no to drawing cute anime girls.

She gave me permission to post the drawings of her own oc and talk about her so I'm doing exactly that.

First of we have my own oc, Morgana, who is unsurprisingly based of Morgana, Ursula's sister from the little mermaid 2

The whole movie was "Meh" at best, but Morgana was a really good villian. I love the cunning villian types, and she did better than Ursula in that regard. She took her time to appeal to Melody as a kindred spirit who understand her more than her own mother which, remembering that Melody was a teenager, won more points in the realistic sense.

But i also played around on paralles with Azul and myself. Siblings tend to be opposits on some ways, and though Mor and Azul are not blood related they would know each other from young age.

If i have to pinpoint my biggest diference with Azul would it be I don't have the same determination he has. Sure at some point I tried to do the same as he has but I gave up early on cause I'm to lazy to be bothered with it. And I tend to be a troublemaker in the sense that, as a teenager, I used to get involved in fights when I was actually pissed off. Something that Azul didn't even try with him being more on the vengeful side. That actually gave me and intresting parrallel to work on and that's the route I went on.

Besides that, much as Azul has some bits and hints of other caracthers not only Ursula, Mor has some tints of Vanessa. Although she was and alter ego Ursula invented, Vanessa was a vane beauty with an alluring singing voice, which Morgana in this au will take on. In this Au Morgana is a socially akward beauty who often plays as a singer in the Mostro Lounge, this will also play part on her Unique Magic, but I'll explain in deatail in another post (I'm working in a full fledge profile/promotional pic just as I've seen everywhere)

Moving on we have my friend's child, Lumiere (Lumi for short).

Now, correct me if I'm wrong but I know there are at least two caracthers in TW that aren't based on anything (Zebek is one example and I can't say for sure but I think Lilia can also fill in here), while others are based on concepts more than carachters (the poison apple, the card soldiers) and Lumi fills in the first category. For those who are curious, Lumiere is the name of the candle holder in the beauty and the best, but you can begin to forget about him because except for the name the share nothing in common.

Lumi is, much like Silver, your tipical princess behaviour but with some twists. With a pretty sad background she tries her best in the academic sense, and to be a good person, but she lacks a lot of confidence and is more akin to a people pleaser. This is actually mean to play a good parallel with Vil who is also her housewarden. I'm also gonna post a whole profile for her so I won't get too much into detail, but desing wise she is ment to look like an inocent princess. She also has the stars simbol which is also a common topic in some disney movies.

Our NRC 4th impostor 3th because i don't count Rook as an impostor, he definetly belongs there is your tipical mom friend, who has a THICK barrier which prevents her from catching most of the double sense or means comments. Although self counsius she is really used to supresses her own feelings, and in a nice parallel to Silver as well she is full of energy. Diferent from most of her own housemates, she really values Vil, as she sees him as someone who has everything she is lacking of, and used to rough love, she gives her 100% to whatever challenge he force on her.

I don't have much insides on her desing because i didn't do much. My friend gave me the pointers and a sketch of her desing and I went extra while drawing her in my style (my friend is more a writer than an artist) but what i can defenitly tell you is about another character that cames in a combo.

Yes, a cat. More specificly, my own irl cat. Funny story, my cat, called Makita (she was found on a metalurgic workshop, thus the name) is quite an stalker. She is full of energy and she tends to stalk all the cats in the neibourhood. Some of them ignore her, some of them tend to lose patience and fight her, but she always stalks. And she stalks me too. If a go anywhere for quite some time, she will follow me everywhere in the house, and if she can not find me for whatever reason she cries loudly.

This whole behavior reminded my friend of Rook, and thus, she became Maki Hunt. And my friend being the "I love cats but I can't have one of my own" type, Lumi is now the oficial owner of Maki Hunt. And she became Hunt in the au because, lest be honest, Rook wouldn't turn a blind eye to an stalker acomplice. Please expect A LOT of jokes.

[trenchcrows]

hey gyus check this out

dogs are for when you care so much for someone else, no matter if they even like you or not, more often than not they don't care about you, even though you try so hard, they will never see you as their equal, you're just some dog who cares too much and you will always be weird for it, you caring so much (or at least appearing to) is your downfall, it's what will always cause you to fail, because they will never follow someone else as intently as you, you are loyal to a fault.

cats are for when build a facade of disregard, when you seem to care so little that they don't want to be around you, how could someone want to be around such an apathetic person, and when you do let yourself care, people get weirded out, they will only ever see you as uncaring and decide there is no point in caring for you if you never show your care for them back, you caring so little ( or at least appearing to) is your downfall, it's what will always cause you to fail because they will never care to see how underneath you really might care.

people see you as opposites, always tearing each other apart, whether you mean to or not, only causing the other harm because you're a dog and a cat, so separate and you would be in a constant loop of, why can't you see that I care so much for you, can you show a little care back??? and why can't you just care a little more, why do you always insist on not responding so emotively??? when the other replies why you always have to show your care, why must if be so loud and /there/??? and how can you care so much, don't you realise, you need to stop, that the world wont give a shit over how much you care???

when really, you are the same, the other can see how much you care, and you can see that sometimes their care is the opposite of different to you, that you both view the world the same, you have both been hurt in the same ways, you have both loved the same ways, you have both been loved in the same ways, you have both lost the same ways, you are two sides of the same coin.

^^^^^^

this too can be crimeboys ^-^

[notyourparentstherapist]

Third entry

I am staring my day. I am very tired. It is raining here. Dods are fed, cats are fed. I have my first cup of coffee to get me through my 12 hour day. I have 10 clients scheduled for today. Some would say that's too many.

Some of us agree.

My mornings routine makes it possible. It is the same every day. rain or shine. Same order. If I get interrupted I get very upset. My partner sometimes for gets this. He is a human with ADHD so there is a different way of thinking with him.

I need the monotony. I am not sure when this started to be honest. But it has been the same for years now. Get up, let animals out, start the coffee machine, let them in, feed them, skin care routine/shower, make first cup of coffee, get dressed, get my home office set up, answer emails.

Every, single, day, including weekends.

I also have an evening routine that is simply the reverse minus the coffee though sometimes I make tea. I check my emails, get my things set up for the next day, prep the coffee machine, skin care/shower, feed the cats (my partner handles the dogs at night), and then got to bed.

I loose track of my days if I don't stick to this. I am unsure how I got this way. I don't remember my my mornings growing up other than getting up, eating, and getting to school. Sometimes the dreaded musical instrument practice was there but it is all so foggy.

I have been described as a machine many times. Every single place I have worked I have had the title of automaton, robot, machine, or computer. I am told I operate like a well oiled machine. Routinized, organized, and always pushing maximum capacity. Over functional.

I am not sure how I feel about this. I used to take it as a compliment when I worked my other jobs like at the bakery or perfumery in graduate school. Now I hesitate because I know what they mean now. The person the work people see is different from the person running the sessions. The worker part of me and the therapist part of me are often working together. However therapist part is a lot more emotional and perceived by the clients as "real, human, and relatable" as they have said. I am not really sure why but we have a hard time with compliments. So why are these things so opposite?

It has been on my mind because it happened on the same day. Our new outpatient director at the clinic I work at one day a week told me other clinicians view me as a well oiled machine. The routine, documents always flawless, everything is always on time. Then, in a session, a client told me that this was the most authentic therapy they every had, they felt like I came off as a human "who deeply cares about their well being in a professional and tender way".

These things feel so contradictory. At first I thought maybe the worker part was just one part but maybe its more than one. Maybe they work together. Or a part of a part. I am not really sure how any of this works. They feel so different. Two sides of the same coin maybe?

Anyways, time to start my long day.

Let the healing begin.

[fromchaostocosmos]

I also want to add that this whole idea that men, specifically cismen, are inherently by nature violent, abusive, controlling, an idea that is being pushed by some users on this very post. Is the opposite side of the coin in which women are told that they are overly emotionally, weak, and all the other bullshit we have heard.

It is cruel and unhealthy for boys to be told that they are by nature can only be a certain just as it is cruel and unhealthy for girls to be told that they are by nature can only be a certain way.

Much of how boys and men are is because that is how society has trained them to be. It is because they have been socialized to be.

In many societies for a man to cry or be soft that is seen as weak and emasculating.

The Patriarchy as a concept and an institution does not care about the needs and wants of boys and men just as much as it does not care about the needs and wants of any other gender.

If a young cis boy wants to play dolls or says he wants to be a princess when he grows up that is not acceptable under the Patriarchy.

If a cis man has a healthy relationship with his emotions that is again not acceptable under the Patriarchy.

It is why under the Patriarchy a man can be a chef, cook, baker, etc in the context of it being a job, but not someone who does the cooking and baking for the home.

It is why a man being a househusband or stay at home dad is looked down on.

It is why if a man is taking care of the kids he will often say he is babysitting he though those are his own children.

We can not just talk about one side with out talking about the other or we won't actually get anywhere.

If we can recognize how the Patriarchy works and how it effects the division of labor, emotional labor, the sexualization of women's bodies just existing, and so much more we can't also not talk about the effect that it has men and boys and what it does to them.

We have to understand that part too. We have to recognize that there is problem there as well and that it needs fixing too.

Because otherwise we are just rowing a boat while only using one of the two oars and tell me how far will we get doing that.

This is something that I don't think some of the people on this post seem to understand. (to be clear I am not talking about op, but rather the anon and some other who have responded on this post)

When making a community space in needs to be open for all who need access to said space.

And again I will say and remind people that cis women can be abusers. It seems like far too many people think they are incapable of it, but that is just not true. Anyone of any gender can abuse, rape, and/or inflict harm upon anyone else of any gender.

Hurting others does belong to a specific gender.

You don’t belong in feminist spaces because you’re a man I hope this helps <3

this might blow ur mind but i think even cishet men belong in feminist spaces bc they’re the target audience.

[f4irycafe]

⤷ synopsis: you meet rhys at a summer court market.

⤷ request: @starzalign

⤷ wc: 1.2k

⤷ content warning: black!coded reader, fluff, slightly suggestive themes (cause its rhys)

⤷ notes: yes. he needs someone who is just as witty as him, step tf aside feyre. reader is gonna take care of some things. also i don't know what type weird British voice with American and British slang bublefuck i gave the reader but i am entertained LMAO.

adriata was a beautiful city, one that you were thankful you could grow up in. it was one of the more wealthier cities in summer, seeing as how most of the people who lived there had some sort of monetizable craft. tarquin, known for his generosity and views on class structure, often hired regular fae folk to work in the palace in various different positions.

you, however, were not one of said people. you were a fisherman daughter, a rich one, but nowhere near any soft of title or mobility. you lived a comfortable life with your siblings and family, and had little to no troubles in your day to day life.

except for today.

you were at the market, as you always are on a beautiful sunday morning, looking for food to stalk up your reserves with for the coming week. you had bought everything you needed except for one thing. it was a specific kind of spice, one that was shipped from the night court every few months and was always in high demand in summer. you had been haggling with a shopkeeper for ten minutes but to no avail. you had spent most of your money on other necessities for the family, but this one fucking spice was all you really wanted.

"i'll pay you twice the amount of the original spice next week." you said, trying to sound like you weren't begging.

"no can do missy. pay now or no spice." uptight piece of fae shit, you thought to yourself as you continued to grumble about the price in your head. you turned around and moved off to the side, trying to think of a way to get your hands on that damned plant when a shadow appeared in front of you.

"you seem tense," a new voice said. you raised your brow, not accustomed to random strangers speaking to you for no reason. you had to try not to let a smirk come to your face at the sight of this gorgeous male in front of you.

"that shopkeeper is a right bitch i'll tell you that." that pulled a laugh from him as he followed your glare to the stand you had previously been at.

"what? she giving you trouble?" he asked, moving to stand next to you so you could resume your one sided death-glare-match. jesus, he even smelled amazing, and he had a pretty sweet smile. you turned to look at him for a few seconds. his skin was light, and he sported dark hair and light clothes. his whole being seemed to work in opposition of itself. the clothes looked to light for his aura, and his skin was to pale to be of summer origins if not mixed with something from autumn or winter. maybe the black hair was dye?

"i come by that hag's stall every week for the same spice. its a bloody expensive spice, but i pay for it in full everytime. and now when i'm a few coin down she wants to throw a hissy fit and act like i'm not good for the money? she has jokes."

gods, rhys was almost red in the face from keeping in his laughter at this random woman he was standing next to. he had risen early that morning to get a look at adiratas famed morning markets. he had originally planned to get a few things for his cousin and amren before making his way back to the palace. that was before he spotted this wonderfully gorgeous sulking woman standing at the side of a tend and decided he wanted to annoy her. what pulled him towards her, he couldn't say.

"what type of spice is it?"

"anise. its shaped like a little star."

rhys knew the plant, of course he fucking did. it was one of night's biggest plant exports, all the courts wanted a piece of it. rhys found himself faced with two options. option one, he lets the women rant for a while longer before bidding her goodday. or two, he could be a little shit. he obviously went with option two.

"like this?" the man asked. one second, there was nothing in his hand, the next, a few small pieces of the star plant magically appeared in his hand. your eyes nearly buldged out of your head as you quickly scooped them out of his hands and into yours.

at this point, rhys could only assume that you had no idea who he was. for who would be so brave and stupid to wrestle a damned plant out of a high lords hand in the middle of market.

"where in the fuck did you get that from?!" you wondered as you examined the plant. it was real, from what you could see. smelled and looked as real as it could.

"where did i get - this - from?" he asked as he pulled a few more out of his hand.

"oh my gods, stop it. what are you some kind of angel."

"i'm afraid not, just a high lord." rhys took great pleasure in watching your eyes nearly bulge out of your head as you looked between him and the plants.

"i knew you looked weird?" you said once you regained your composure.

"well for starters you obviously aren't from here. your clothes look too light for your energy, and your hair is as black as the sky. winter is pale, autumn folk have red hair, spring have blonde and are much more angular in the face. you could be from day or dawn, but it almost feels like you suck in light rather than reflect it. so you must be from night. rhysand, is it?" now it was rhys' turn to be shocked.

"y-yes, that would be correct." stuttuer. you just made the high lord, HIGH LORD, of the night court stuttuer. over you?

"work your fancy little high lord magic for me and get me some more of those star seeds?"

"what will i get out of it." rhys asked as he took a step closer to you. gods he was close, so close that you could hear as he took a breath, could watch his bright purple eyes flit across your face from your eyebrows, to the small scar on your cheek, to your lips, then back to your eyes.

"what do you want out of it?" you challenged. he smiled, making a show of thinking about it for a second before he leveled you a look.

"a date."

"a date?" now it was your turn to stutter.

"you heard me." he pressed on. he held his palm out face up. he glanced down to his hand, your gaze following along, and watched as dozens of plants materialized in his palm out of thin air.

some star seeds in exchange for a date with a high lord? you'd be a fool to say no.

"no." rhys pulled up short. the last time he had been denied by a woman had been hundreds of years ago by amren.

"i beg your pardon?"

"it's gonna take a lot more than a few seeds to get me to go on a date with you. try harder next time." aha, hope.

"next time?" rhys asked as you started to walk away. you didn't give him a response. instead, you gave him one last meaningful look before beginning to walk away.

"wait. how will i find you if i don't know your name?" he asked, in a last ditch attempt to save his pride.

"y/n," you replied, "i'm sure that's all you'll need."

it was.

"until next time, rhysand."

"until next time, y/n."

notes: i like the idea of reader beating rhys at his own game. requests are open for acotar. i'm not taking any cases or az requests right now, ut every other male character is available.

[sunnytastic]

what's your opinion on: Rob, charlie, Glenn, and meg

oof. ur really coming after me hard. i had to switch to my computer to answer this.

first of all, i want to say, I am fascinated by their dynamic

despite all his borderline offensive jokes, you can tell rob really respects megan's opinion. he values her for the perspective she brings as a lifelong fan of the show and a genuinely good writer. again, I literally just said this, but there is a reason megan (and charlie and glenn) are friends with rob. because at the end of the day, as cocky as he is, rob respects others and defers to them as needed.

rob is such an interesting character to me. he is both overwhelmingly confident and an insecure bitch (which you can argue is two sides of the same coin). but I can't ignore how often the others come back to how good of a friend he is. you can tell he genuinely cares about his friends and the show he creates. he wants to be there for others even when he can't quite understand what they are going for. this completely bled over into the podcast today.

i know that eventually, people are going to come after rob because of how bitchy we came off during the podcast today but I can't ignore how he presented the conflict with respect for how charlie sees things and why he sees them that way.

as for glenn and charlie, they are harder to pinpoint. they are both wildly different from the characters they present themselves as during the podcast (though you can tell when their actual personality bleeds through).

charlie is definitely more conservative than i thought he would be. not politically, but in the way he approaches things. he is calm and rational in a way i didn't expect him to be. this definitely comes from how i see charlie kelly and the way i expected charlie day to reflect that irl. that's not say that i expected him to act like charlie kelly, but that i thought i would see more of charlie kelly in charlie day

which brings me to glenn, who i see as the complete opposite. glenn himself has tried to deny it but at the end of the day, there is so much of glenn in dennis (obviously dramatized and taken to the extreme). but the mood swings, frustration over insignificant things, and body & ego-related issues? they are all remnants of glenn's actual personality. I actually think it's very healthy that glenn can recognize these traits and choose to magnify them in a way he knows is irrational. i mean dark humor is a genuinely good coping skill (or so my therapist says as I choose to view my trauma as a comedy. he's just like me fr)

unfortunately, i don't have as thought-out takes on Megan. but I can say I deeply respect her as a woman in comedy and someone who has faced sexual harassment. she is smart and funny in ways many others would have broken by but she stays resilient.

but ultimately, i conclude that they need each other to create the show they love. and rcg knows this. it's the reason they have remained friends all these years. they are friends first and colleagues second. but the colleague's aspect is not ignored. they have managed to separate their professional lives from their real lives. or one could argue they have managed to merge them. rcg (and megan) are not without their flaws, but they collaborate in a way you don't see often these days. and as long as they keep creating good content, I will always be eager to see what they do and say next.

[capricores]

Can you talk about the difference between the sun opposite moon aspect and the sun square moon aspect in a natal chart?

absolutely!

opposition and square energies are quite similar (since square & opposite signs are of the same modality) - their key difference is that opposite signs have far more in common than square signs. for opposite signs, it's kind of like they're on a scale together (if they're putting in equal work/weight, they can balance together perfectly); or two sides of the same coin. for square signs.. it's more like, siblings in the same family. inherently, they have a lot of similar traits, but, at the end of the day, they can be drastically different with totally different goals/wants/etc).

hopefully that provides some clarity into the general difference of those aspects!

if we go more specifically to the sun-moon aspects; i think it's best explained by using specific signs as an example. let's try using sagittarius. sagittarius is opposite gemini, but squares virgo/pisces. sagittarius and gemini have a lot of similarities - they are both talkative, outgoing, free-spirited, travelers, non-committal; they enjoy learning and expanding their knowledge. but, there's some small differences: gemini likes details and sagittarius likes the bigger picture; sagittarius teaches, gemini learns; gemini is very flexible and open-minded, but sagittarius is very firm on their beliefs and can even develop god complexes on their opinions, etc.

if we compare sagittarius to pisces; we get a more harsh comparison. sure, both like travelling, are outgoing, free-spirited, focused on expansion of the self, etc. but pisces craves comfort and familiarity; sagittarius craves change and newness. pisces wants a sense of "home"; sagittarius does not care for those concepts. pisces tends to build identity through connection with others; sagittarius is firm in their own identity and prefers to preach their ideals onto others instead; pisces likes to care for others and tends to people-please, sagittarius puts the self first and couldn't care less about what others want/expect of them.

when we take these comparisons, between sag-pisces and sag-gemini, we really see the highlight of the opposition versus the square. the opposition has minor differences and stress points, the square has major differences and stress points. if someone had sun opposite moon, with gemini sun sagittarius moon, for example. their sun/moon flow together relatively well. they may have some issues throughout life in finding the right balance between these opposite energies (ie: when to prioritize the small details versus bigger picture; a lot of their wants versus needs are a bit different which can lead to some stress and confusion; sometimes feeling pulled in two different directions in life), but i personally don't think it's too intense of an aspect as a lot of people point out (however, it is still definitely not an easy aspect and can cause a lot of lessons/struggles).

then we have sun square moon, such as a sagittarius sun with a virgo moon; things get way more messy. their sun wants freedom and independence, travel, change; their moon wants stability, connection, peace; their sun does what it wants, doesn't care about "norms" or traditions, their moon cares about their image and thinks about others before acting - enjoys tradition; their sun acts before thinking; their moon overthinks to the point where they can't act at all. the ends of expression are totally different, not just slightly different.

the sun square moon individual is pulled in two VERY different directions. there's often more differences than similarities when it comes to wants/needs; and how to express emotions, the self, etc. these individuals constantly feel torn between two different versions of themselves, and can't feel out which one is the "true" them. here, it's not even about a balance of small differences, it's about working through two very, very different energies in the same mind.

in terms of aspect "difficulty" or "harshness", i find the worst is inconjuncts, followed by squares, followed by oppositions.

[alwaysthesitter]

Thank you all for the support with that last anon. I'm really conflicted about it all honestly. Like, I don't like people attacking them because I completely 100% get being sex repulsed or ace or not wanting to see that sort of content or not feeling comfortable with that content, and I will never judge or criticize a person for that and don't think they should be attacked for feeling that way. On the flip side, I also don't think that I should be made to feel like I'm the bad guy or I'm doing something wrong. That isn't at all what they said, but I think when someone criticizes an action of ours it's made for us to feel wrong or guilty about it or like we should be changing it or not doing it to lead to other people's comfort. I think as a society we often put our own comfort aside to take care of other people. So yeah, I might have gotten emotional and almost cried when I got that ask - I'm a sensitive person, what can I say?

But that's why my response was how they can curate their own safe space. It's hard when there are so many ways to eliminate that kind of content on someone's dash, yet I'm still getting critiqued for it. While some people are asexual, I am the complete opposite coin where I am hypersexual. However, because of my extreme gender dysphoria, I don't have a lot of physical contact in life (tmi but last person I slept with was in 2012). I live through Steve, because Steve has the parts I want. The body I want. And he's able to make love and be sexual the way that I want but I can't. It's therapeutic for me. I know that might sound weird, but I wanted to explain it and put it out there. So it's hard when people challenge that, because I'm writing Steve for me, no one else. But I also don't want to hurt people or put them in a place of discomfort?

I don't know, I needed a place to vent my thoughts out. Either way, don't attack the person for needing/wanting a safe space, but also thank you so much for supporting me and telling me to continue to do what I'm doing and that most people like my blog.