notyourparentstherapist

[notyourparentstherapist]

Life update.

We are out. Moved. Into new space. Close to friends and the therapist. We are now away from the husband. Not sure what that means for our relationship or our marriage.

Things have been really hard.

We will start posting more once we have a routine.

[notyourparentstherapist]

We've made the decision to move out of our home. We are separating from our husband.

We are not ready to talk about it.

Things have been tough.

We feel like a failure.

We have to start over.

We don't have much.

This is going to be so hard.

Being alone again.

Hoping we can use space away to fix our relationship.

[notyourparentstherapist]

[notyourparentstherapist]

thr funniest part of therapy to me is when you first come in and you're exchanging niceties and they say "hello! how are you" and you say "im fine how are you :)" and then 30 seconds later they put on their therapist voice and say "so how are you doing?" and you go well lisa. believe it or not im doing Bad

[notyourparentstherapist]

Kluft and Putnam have derived a list of symptoms characteristic of childhood DID. The main characteristics include the following:

A history of repeated child abuse.

Subtle alternating personality changes such as a shy child with depressed. angry. seductive. and/or regressive episodes.

Amnesia of abuse and/or other recent events such as schoolwork. angry outbursts, regressive behavior. etc.

Marked variations in abilities such as schoolwork. games. and music.

Trance-like states.

Hallucinated voices.

Intermittent depression.

Disavowed behaviors leading to being called a liar.

[notyourparentstherapist]

ANTI-CAPITALIST AFFIRMATIONS

i am allowed to spend my time creating things, even if they are not beautiful.

there is no such thing as a "real job." all forms of work are real and valid.

there is nothing that i need to accomplish to be worthy. i am already worthy.

doing nothing is good for my soul.

i am not defined by what i produce.

my worth cannot be measured by my paycheck, my job title, or a list of professional or academic achievements.

i do not need to monetize my hobbies, it is enough to spend time doing something i love.

i will not let society decide what success looks like. i can define what successful life looks like for me.

[notyourparentstherapist]

Not everyone is made for working 8 hours a day and that's ok. Not everyone's (mental) health is capable of that. It's not an attitude problem or something you need to force on yourself (if you have the possibility not to). You're not lazy because of this either. It's just the way that it is and that's totally ok. Don't feel bad. You're doing your best.

[notyourparentstherapist]

[notyourparentstherapist]

[notyourparentstherapist]

[notyourparentstherapist]

Communicating in system

Here's some tips we use to try and communicate better between ourselves.

Keep a journal or a private forum board: we use a private discord server to take notes and send messages in the case we can't find someone with access to a different layer or subsystem.

Designate a messenger: this is probably easier said than done but as I've said before on this blog most of our frequent fronters are gatekeepers so it's easier for us to breach borders and send messages through others than it would be for an alter structured to be a host

Sticky notes everywhere.

Use phone calendars for anything anyone plans, including smaller tasks like going grocery shopping. This one helps us a lot because our amnesia is fucking horrible.

Ask friends to send you text reminders. Or schedule reminders through your phone or an app or something. It helps get messages across to whoever is currently in front regardless of who wrote the message.

Sometimes we'll drag someone else to co front so we can talk things out easier but honestly I don't recommend this one. A lot of people hate being dragged to front, we're just collectively assholes to each other.

I think that's the most I can recall right now, other systems feel free to add on in reblogs or replies.

[notyourparentstherapist]

i just came across the term “CPTSD” and, well, yes. Attachment – “problems with relationship boundaries, lack of trust, social isolation, difficulty perceiving and responding to others’ emotional states” Biology – “sensory-motor developmental dysfunction, sensory-integration difficulties, somatization, and increased medical problems” Affect or emotional regulation – “poor affect regulation, difficulty identifying and expressing emotions and internal states, and difficulties communicating needs, wants, and wishes” Dissociation – “amnesia, depersonalization, discrete states of consciousness with discrete memories, affect, and functioning, and impaired memory for state-based events” Behavioural control – “problems with impulse control, aggression, pathological self-soothing, and sleep problems” Cognition – “difficulty regulating attention, problems with a variety of ’executive functions’ such as planning, judgement, initiation, use of materials, and self-monitoring, difficulty processing new information, difficulty focusing and completing tasks, poor object constancy, problems with ‘cause-effect’ thinking, and language developmental problems such as a gap between receptive and expressive communication abilities.” Self-concept – “fragmented and disconnected autobiographical narrative, disturbed body image, low self-esteem, excessive shame, and negative internal working models of self”.

[notyourparentstherapist]

🌿 ゜・ 。. 。・ 🌸 ・ 。 . 。・ ゜ 🌿

be so rooted in yourself that

no one’s absence or presence can

disturb your inner peace

。・゜🌸 ゜・ 。🌿 。・ ゜ 🌸 ゜・。

[notyourparentstherapist]

If you have DID or OSDD: It will be okay. You are not going to be miserable forever. You are not going to be stuck in abuse or trauma forever. You are not going to be at odds with your system forever. Whatever hard times are going on right now? They’re not forever.

It’s possible to be happy and successful and still have DID/OSDD. Recovery is possible. Escape from abuse and traumatic situations is possible. People who love and care about you? They exist and there are more for you to meet someday. It’s possible to learn how to get along and work together with your system. Whatever symptoms are the worst for you right now (flashbacks, amnesia, dissociation, self harm, suicidal thoughts, etc.), it’s possible to learn how to cope with and reduce them. It’s possible to feel okay.

So, it’s okay if you’re not doing well right now. Just know that the future is soft and positive. You don’t have to know what it looks like. You don’t have to have all the steps in place, either. It’s okay to take it at your own pace. It will gently come to you, regardless.

- Sunflower

[notyourparentstherapist]

Please stop attacking the past versions of you. They were doing their best at the time and they got you here. It’s amazing how much progress you’ve made and how much you’ve grown but please don’t think your past self lacked worth in any way.

[notyourparentstherapist]

Your worth is not defined by anyone else's behavior.

[notyourparentstherapist]

your issues