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enbylesbianism · 3 years ago

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ANY WAY THE WIND BLOWS: Simon Snow trilogy wrapped! (review)

Hi, there! It took me a while to finish this post, as I could talk about it for... a long time (not necessarily a good thing), but I got it! I like praise, so if anyone wants to tell me I did a good job... Also, I might edit this post later on. I don’t remember anything else I’d like to add, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I did after posting. My brain does not obey me. Anyways, off to it! By the way, I won’t give this book a real rating.

While this is a review on Any Way the Wind Blows, I intend on analysing some points of the overall series too. The book starts where Wayward Son left off, the end of the road trip, Simon and Baz having problems in their relationship, Penelope helping Shepard with his curse... and the whole situation of the NowNext vampires. Rainbow Rowell only seems to remember the first part. That leaves us with the second book of the series ignored almost completely, with the exception of Simon and Baz’s feelings as well as Shepard’s existence.

Don’t get me wrong, aspects of the book are mentioned, but never in a truly important way. Lamb, the Vampire King, is mentioned by Simon, but only focusing on his and Baz’s relationship, never about the fact that there are a bunch of vampires (supposedly ‘evil’) in the U.S. but I guess what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right? I could count on one hand the times the NowNext vampires were mentioned (like, literally, this isn’t an exaggeration, I looked up ‘NowNext’ on the e-book and only got five results), all of them either being one of them considering telling someone else about it, then not following through with it, or dismissing it as a concern for Lamb. Which makes the plot of Wayward Son completely useless for the trilogy. Now, that wouldn’t matter as much if everything else had been properly developed, but we definitely can’t say that.

We are introduced to a brand new, poorly developed villain, Smith-Smith Richards, whose character arc is as ridiculous as his name. He’s one of the fake Chosen Ones that started appearing after the events of Carry On (and the only one to be mentioned and/or defeated, for that matter). It becomes clear that presenting as Simon Snow-ish is part of his brand, especially when Baz describes him as looking like the Netflix adaptation version of Simon, and that he was raised and guided by his uncle, who’s just... there. I don’t think it would’ve been hard to make him manipulating Smith-Smith into believing he’s the prophetic savior of the Magickal World, which would not only make both of their characters more interesting, but it could also serve as a parallel of Simon’s relationship with the Mage. Richards also has some special powers such as increasing a mage’s magic for a limited amount of time, but taking it away afterwards, as well as making someone immune from spells. It’s worth saying those aren’t skills that are usual in the Magickal World, or else there wouldn’t be so much confusion and shock from people (specially Baz and Penny, who would definitely have heard of something like this before), but we get no explanation on why or how Richard has them.

Then, we have the Salisbury’s. We, as readers, already know Lucy and Davy are Simon’s parents, making Ruth his grandmother. It’s noticeable that Rowell builds up to that discovery, by making Simon get along with Ruth instantly, him thinking about Lucy a lot etc. It makes us excited to read the part where they actually figure it out, to know how Simon would deal with that, him dealing with the fact that he’s the Mage’s son and the fact that, technically, he killed his father. I suppose that’s the point, but actually getting to that part was incredibly underwhelming. The way they discovered about Simon—being able to lift a family sword—hadn’t been mentioned or hinted at before. One would’ve expected Simon, who’s particularly interested in swords as it’s mentioned many times throughout the series, to notice a freaking Excalibur at the Salisbury’s place before.

And speaking of noticing things: when it’s finally revealed that Simon is Lucy’s son and the Mage’s heir, Baz pointed out the uncanny similarities between his boyfriend and the deceased Watford principal. “Those narrow eyes. That tilt of his head. I thought... I thought he’d learned it. Was imitating it.” + “Merlin, Simon, you even look like him.” (Any Way the Wind Blows, chapter 86) Simon was the Mage’s protégé for years and I assume the Magickal authorities knew that he was the one to inherit all of his money and personal belongings, but no one, in the whole British Magickal community, thought about them being related? I refuse to believe there were no conspiracy theorist teachers at Watford or that Mitali or even the Pitch’s alongside everyone who was against the Mage didn’t at least check to know if there was something behind those characteristics. Baz literally said (chapter 88), “I think it’s undeniable. I’d cast ‘Flesh and blood’ on them, but it would bounce right off of Snow (...)”, so there is a spell for that. Plus, we didn’t even have one whole chapter of Simon dealing with this information! The chapters (no more than five, out of ninety-one) were divided between Simon, Baz and Lady Ruth’s POVs. He’s the main character, so one would think he’d get more development.

Another point that felt rushed was the romance. While Simon and Baz’s relationship wasn’t, as it’s been a topic Rowell has explored for three books (we’re not counting Fangirl here, as their ‘participation’ on it was minor and their personalities weren’t as consistent as in the trilogy. Not that it is that consistent there), the others just felt like she wanted everyone to finish the trilogy with a pair. I’ll start with Shepard and Penny. There were fans who liked them together before Any Way the Wind Blows, but it wasn’t hinted at—it was more like a fandom thing. I personally like them as a couple, but it could have had development and, maybe, foreshadowing in Wayward Son. I mean, they did fight monsters during a huge part of a road trip together.

The next one I’ll talk about is Agatha and Niamh. I love them, don’t get me wrong. Actually, it’s precisely because I love them that I wish they’d gotten a better treatment. Niamh wasn’t introduced before Any Way the Wind Blows. I get why she wasn’t introduced in Carry On—it was interesting to see a character who wasn’t caught up in Simon and Baz’s drama during the school years—but a hint of her existence could’ve been left in Wayward Son. Agatha is an important character on it, and a mention of her father training an aspiring veterinary could’ve fit somewhere, as a hint, maybe. (Also, Lucy, the dog, being absolutely forgotten during this book when a lot of Agatha’s time is spent in a veterinary clinic...) Besides, we could get the vibes from them, but after they kissed, there was barely any content. We didn’t get them calling each other ‘girlfriend’ (or if they even like that label at this point), or the aftermath of the kiss, or a POV from Niamh. Or Niamh appearing the epilogue? If Agatha was taking care of the goats, I’m sure Niamh would have a part in that too. Still on Agatha’s character, but not on Niamh’s, it felt like Rainbow Rowell was setting up for aromantic and asexual Agatha, specially because of this quote: “It was like she'd pulled the feeling right out of my heart. I could have kissed her. (I still wish sometimes that I wanted to.) (That would feel like an answer to... the question of me. Then I could say, 'Oh, thats who I am. That's why I've been so confused.')” (Wayward Son, chapter 4).

And I was leaving the best (I need to be sure everyone knows I mean this sarcastically) of the romance topic for the end: Fiona and Nicodemus. It’s just... so forced and undeveloped. Not even because, to me, they’re both gay as hell. There was just... such a lack of development! I don’t think we had any interaction between the both of them before Any Way the Wind Blows. There was no foreshadowing or why would Fiona, a vampire hunter from a family of vampire hunters, would marry... a vampire! I’d already find it weird to see fanfiction of them as a crackship, but it’s canon?! Like, canon as in they’re going to get married and use Fiona and Natasha’s mother’s ring? Seriously, nothing will take from me that this is a lavender marriage (as I’ve already discussed with my best friend, which inspired this post of theirs.)

I’d also like to speak about a topic that’d been hinted throughout the series, especially post-Carry On, which is the criticism towards the Magickal Community in the U.K.. That criticism is very much embodied in Shepard’s character. It’s explicitly said that the British mages have some kind of supremacy towards other supernatural beings, such as vampires for example, gatekeeping literal magic. Up until relatively recently, mages with weak links with magic couldn’t attend Watford (and that’s a major plot point in the final book) and there’s a denial towards any other kind of magic except the ones that are part of their craft. Even within the Magickal community itself, there are more important families that are more likely to succeed, like Natasha receiving criticism for marrying Malcolm, as a Pitch. It felt pointless not to tackle the issues you’ve set up yourself in your own universe. Penelope has very strict morals related to magickal law and beliefs, something that she could’ve deconstructed, especially considering Shepard, her love interest, symbolises that. Another point related to that is, the trilogy is very clearly heavily inspired by Harry Potter, where many of those points are very clear (e.g. wizard supremacy in relation to other species, such as werewolves and domestic elves and the status quo that makes some traditionally magical families more influential than others, like the Malfoy’s vs. the Weasley’s), so it’s not an easily forgettable concept.

The series also had a lot of inconsistencies. The one I’ve seen talked about more often is Simon and Agatha’s... intimacy status, let’s call it that. Simon’s whole thing in the first book was that he struggled controlling his magic when experiencing intense emotions, which makes it hard to believe that he managed to have sex withount an... accident. Besides that, though, there’s this quote, “She (...) presses a kiss into my temple. No one has ever kissed me there. No one has ever kissed me anywhere but on my mouth” (Carry On, Chapter 27), but in Any Way the Wind Blows, when Simon’s about to have his wings cut, Agatha says, “It’s a strange feeling to look at someone’s chest and know it’s nothing to do with you anymore, but still to remember kissing every inch.” (Chapter 14)

So, we have established that Rainbow Rowell’s work, both character and plot driven, is flawed. “But we got the characters interacting for the closure of the series, at least!” Well... we got interactions between the canon romantic relationships, yeah. But besides that, we didn’t get much. There were no interactions between Agatha and Penny, or Shepard with Simon and Baz. Or Penny and her mother figuring stuff out. Or literally anyone with a therapist. And not gonna lie, the interaction we got between Baz and Dev was underwhelming, to say the least. Niall is nowhere to be seen, too.

Rainbow Rowell’s writing is beautiful: she writes poetic lines that make the book seem perfect at first glance, if you don’t think about it for too long. Her words are very shiny, but once you get use to that light and see what’s behind them, what’s between one shiny quote and another, it has so many flaws and plot holes that it reads like a first draft. There are many concepts in there that are genuinely good: the rest of the trilogy focused on the protagonist dealing with the trauma of being a child soldier instead of being entirely an adventure, Simon being unlabelled, a fake Chosen One that gives mages fake hope... Those are all good ideas, but so poorly explored that, despite being an entire book/trilogy, it still feels like a writing pitch or something among those lines.

I felt iffy about other things during my reading of the series, but they aren’t exactly plot points, so I’ll just list them below:

Mitali, Penny’s mom, including ‘discovering your bisexuality’ as a mid-life crisis thing

As I’ve seen people talking about biphobia/bi erasure in the books, I’ll be including this post that features both unlabelled and bisexual individuals talking about the topic (it isn’t my place, as a lesbian, to talk about this, that’s why I decided not to do so.)

Romanticising of Baz’s suicide (a.k.a. chapter 61) in the first book. If you’re not in a good place mentally, like I was when I first read Carry On, I hope you know that a kiss or romance doesn’t help any mental illness you or others might have. Don’t let anyone use your guilt to manipulate you. Paraphrasing Alice Oseman in their graphic novel Heartstopper, love can’t cure a mental illness.

Any Way the Wind Blows was... very horny. I can’t point out how this makes the book bad exactly, but it wasn’t something I enjoyed. One of Rainbow Rowell’s strongest skills is that her quotes, when loose, are good. They tend to be poetic and just beautiful, overall. But in the... explicit scenes, these skills were barely used, and I felt like I was reading NSFW tweets off of someone’s private account on Twitter. Besides, the first two books of the series weren’t written like that, so the change was very sudden.

The older people could’ve been more explored. Penelope and Mitali’s relationship and how similar the both of them are compared to each other, Daphne and Professor Bunce’s insecurities and why they believed in Smith-Smith, Fiona, Nico, and Ebb... Also, the Mage and Lucy. We could’ve had more on them, y’know.

The pop culture references. They made the book read even more like Twitter’s feed. Honestly, if I wanted to read prompts and nice ship content alongside memes from Twitter with some horny thoughts sprinkled all around, I would’ve opened the Twitter app. Or Tumblr, Instagram, whatever.

The POV switching felt lazy to me at times. It’s nice to know how different characters are experiencing that situation, yes, but sometimes, like during the discovery that Simon is a Salisbury, it read as if Rowell wanted to create tension, but couldn’t think of any other way to do it except the switching around.

Narrative wise, I think Simon and Baz should’ve spent more time broken up.

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isagrimorie · 4 years ago

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[initial reactions] Doctor Who - Revolution of the Daleks

TLDR: I liked it! But I do have some nitpicks. But bottom line, I liked it! Especially the exit!

Apologies going in, if it’s rambling and incoherent.

First off, I’m going to get my criticisms out of the way:

- They really need to hire these two people:

a) Sensitivity readers

b) They need to have people of color in charge of casting. Andy Pryor has done a great job casting people but. Since they opened up casting more actors of color to be more diverse... most people in guest roles die. So it ends up being Not A Great Look.

It’s the kind of breezy: We’re hiring more actors of color without really considering the optics of it. Colorblind casting in this way shouldn’t be colorblind. More diversity behind the scenes is needed, especially in casting.

Colorblind casting isn’t representation. Execs have to consider how it looks that a black man is helping create ‘Security Drones’ for the government.

c) I get why Jack Robertson lived, and I’m actually okay with it because I know Chibbs is going somewhere and he’s interconnecting Specials to be their own kind of continuity, so next Special or series we will have Robertson appearing. But I can’t believe the Doctor believed Robertson. Unless she’s really learned from not interfering with politics, but man I wish there’s more vindication to that. I do have a sense of where this is going though, more on that later.

d) I wish they’d gone harder with the Dalek = Police thing.

e) I really kind of wish the Doctor escaped on her own.

And now for my thoughts and the happy!

RYAN! I LOVE RYAN. I LOVE RYAN BEING EMOTIONALLY MATURE AND PUSHING BACK ON THE DOCTOR. It felt... earned that they do and, Ryan’s always been the more hesitant of the three and the more grounded. I love that it’s Ryan that the Doctor confided in, I’ve always felt like Ryan was the one Thirteen connected to the most after Grace died. And I love his development, ever since Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos Ryan is the first to quote the Doctor back to herself from the guns rule and now here to ‘New can be scary’, reminding the Doctor of her own words.

But also, I love that Ryan felt more connected to Earth, with his friends. Yaz was always the one who looks to the horizon. I like that Ryan pushed back on the smokescreen the Doctor tried to put up. Ryan was tired of the smokescreen. He had 10 months to work on his feelings about it and realized... he liked being home.

I wish we saw more what they were doing at home, like what Chibnall wrote for the Ponds in Power of Three. I did see this was his arc he was building to.

I liked that Graham was torn but eventually his loyalties are with Ryan.

I honestly think the fam thought the Doctor was just gone for a week, her time.

Also: FINALLY A COMPANION EXIT WHERE THEY’RE THE ONES WHO WALK AWAY. And because it’s time.

NO MORE TRAPPED IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE OR DYING OR BEING CONVERTED PLEASE. Anyway, that is why I was vindicated because I was getting pretty antsy at all the twitter posts almost gleeful at the thought of companion death.

Nope. No more please. No more world ending, universe ending, heartbreaking ends. I want a Jo Grant walk away, and that is what happened. (Er, I hope we don’t get a Tegan leaving from Yaz, though. Sad and disillusioned walk away).

Yaz. Oh, dear, Yaz, who seems to have tossed her career away running after the Doctor’s shining star. I loved her conversation with Jack, he was a nice contrast and sounding board. Also, Jack was much kinder to the Doctor because they didn’t miss each other, the Doctor (according to RTD’s retcon) deliberately left Jack on Satellite Five.

Yaz is willing to run and jump without looking because of the Doctor and I love that we got her feelings about this.

And, of course, the Doctor. The moment Ryan said she missed 10 months, I felt she knew the clock was ticking on her ‘fam’. She’s trying to be good to them and do right by them.

(The Doctor knows Ryan’s ready to leave, she knew it. She’s trying to be in denial about it. But she knows).

It’s a small detail but when she processed the ‘ten months’ bit, she quickly looked to Ryan. Because if it’s one of the subtext things around is that she wanted to be a better father to Ryan than his real dad. But she still skipped out on him unknowingly.

The way he just brushed it off, because the worst part is. Ryan is used to it.

It’s sad that the Doctor opening up to the fam was brought on after a decades’ long solitary, and probably a promise to be better. But, she calculated wrong, or the TARDIS deliberately chose to go to that time. Whatever the case, just when she’s opening up to them is when Ryan decided his time with the Doctor was at an end.

God, the moment when Thirteen said: “Mostly... angry.”

I felt this. hard.

I think it was @ssaalexblake who mentioned that Thirteen acknowledging she’s angry might help with all of Thirteen’s repressed anger issues. And I think these are baby steps towards that.

She’s actually been so angry for so long, but she kept pushing it down. Like I said, Thirteen, in a way, reminds me of Raylan Givens of Justified. People think he’s mild mannered, but as his ex-wife amicably opined, Raylan was the angriest man she knew.

And I feel this for this Doctor but at least, now she’s addressing it. The first step in fixing a problem, is identifying the problem.

This was made in 2019. Thirteen being in a repeating lockdown felt very 2020 to me. The things that made me go: Oof, was the Harry Potter thing, the Doctor’s always loved HP. Unfortunately it’s post-2020 hindsight where we go: whoof.

I love Thirteen still mouthing off and being obnoxious towards other Doctor Who baddies. The Weeping Angel thing is cool and so are the Silents. BUT ALSO THE DOCTOR CALLED THE P’TING TINY! AND SHE TRIED TO EAT THE PRISON BARS.

And then, of course, being more obnoxious with the Daleks. It’s pretty clear the difference in rawness of the Doctor’s feelings for the Daleks and the Cybermen. The Daleks’s an old ember. Her feelings for them are ice cold. A purity of feeling. The Daleks are evil and she has no compunction on killing them, the Cybermen? More personal and a raw nerve.

She’s willing to be cold towards the Daleks.

I really like that Yaz has more skin in the game, and she knows what she can lose now. And after her talking with Jack, after seeing his perspective on it, and from his words knows that sometimes the Doctor just disappears from people’s lives.

And I love the pushback:

Skewered.

But true because she is trying to stay still and be with the fam and not leave them. But the unfortunate truth is, the Doctor does run away, and the Doctor does leave people behind and a lot of the times, the Doctor doesn’t come back because they’re an emotional coward.

The thing about Thirteen is she’s probably the longest of the Doctors to not disappoint her companions. She’s always managed to stop bad guys and always been there for them. It’s an impressive track record for the Doctor. She’s built herself up in their eyes as someone they can rely on, and then she failed them by not getting back to them in time.

It’s not her fault, and none of them know how long it’s been for the Doctor, by the way she’s asked them I feel like they think she’s only been gone for a week.

Honestly, I’m impressed how the Doctor didn’t make it about her -- being in prison for longer than they thought. She’s looking at it from their point of view, because she already knows what big leaps in time would affect her friends.

TBH Revolution of the Daleks felt like shades of Last Christmas in that the Doctor regretted missing out time with her companion/s. In Last Christmas, the Doctor got his time back with Clara, in RotD, time passed.

Back to the Doctor and the Daleks tho.

This reminded of Twelve’s: “You are monsters. That is the role you seem determined to play. So it seems I must play mine. The Man that stops the Monsters.”

(Look, Chibnall’s Moffat references aren’t as sledgehammer, but he does reference a lot of Moffat’s things.).

Except with Thirteen, I’m actually more terrified. Jodie does this thing where her eyes goes black and she kind of disappears into herself, this is what happened here. This promise isn’t actually good IMO.

This is not a comforting face. This is a ‘I’m gonna kill a whole boatload of Daleks face and I’m not sorry, in fact I might enjoy doing that’ face.

(And, a brief aside to Robertson, I feel like the Specials have their own kind of special ‘movie’ continuity and more of his story will play out in the Specials, where hopefully he will get his comeuppance because, to me, I feel that’s where it’s going. This is more groundwork laying.

I don’t like it when the Doctor interferes with Human affairs, especially government -- because look what happened with Harriet Jones and how the Doctor broke the Golden Age. Also, I don’t want real world leaders to exist in the Whoverse because I want them to have a completely different track from us. So. Yeah, New Year’s Specials have their ongoing storyline. I’m actually not mad about it, and I enjoy Mr. Big’s performance. He’s a sleezeball. A sleezeball that knows more now. (He isn’t T rump but he isn’t better either). At least I find him enjoyable and not outright offensive. I’m okay seeing him again for the next Specials. I hope next time he does get his comeuppance.)

Now, the goodbyes:

The HUG.

We’ve been waiting for the Doctor to be more physically affectionate with the fam, and it took the Doctor being locked down for decades (maybe?), and Ryan and Graham leaving for her to hug them. And we’re all right, Thirteen gives great hugs.

The feeling Thirteen’s been running away from is here, sadness. It’s good that Yaz decided to stay other wise... she’s just going to run headlong into forgetting her problems, Doctor Style.

And again, learning and re-learning things: ‘It’s okay to be sad.’

Oh, Thirteen.

(Before Twelve, I don’t think I was this sympathetic to the Doctor -- no wait, I was with Nine. Ten and Eleven tested my patience but it’s with Twelve and Thirteen where I’m 100% invested in the Doctor.

I also love that they’re kind of soft touching the Timeless Child thing, and as someone on twitter mentioned, this feels like an examination of an adoption story. The Doctor is going to search for their identity, their home).

I honestly wish Jack stayed in the TARDIS with Thirteen and Yaz. Jack’s a great balance, especially pushing back at the Doctor and her tactics. Her NUCLEAR tactics. I am glad that the Doctor’s still a dick to Jack, not much of an asshole as they were when the Doctor was Ten but still a dick.

Also, one thing I really love about Barrowman is that when he’s in Doctor Who, he knows it’s not his show and he doesn’t showboat, and the man can showboat.

I’d rather Jack than random guy that I didn’t even know was gonna happen until very late.

Anyway, TLDR to all this: I enjoyed this very much! Still a lot to be parsed through in things that needs to be parsed through as I mentioned, but on the whole? I loved it.

#doctor who #doctor who spoilers #thirteenth doctor #yasmin khan #ryan sinclair #graham o'brien #jack harkness #revolution of the daleks #initial reactions #long post #rambling and incoherent

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spaceecoffe · 3 years ago

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LUZ ISN'T THE PROTAGONIST OF THE OWL HOUSE

Okay, so here are my thoughts after s02e07 (there will be spoilers probably!) and also after reading some of yours posts about series. I will make a list because I hate lists but I can't cope without them.

1. Let's start with the types of some basic narrations

1st Person narration - the one were we see everything from narrators point of view, we usually now their thoughts, the example could be Percy Jackson and the Olympians series

3rd Person narration - in this type we may or may not know character/characters thoughts and also we can follow actions of only one character or jump from one point of you to another. Harry Potter series is an example of following one character while in Game Of Thrones or The Heroes of Olympus we change a character in every chapter.

This is one way to distinguish types of narration. We can also do this by saying which type of character in our plot is the narrator:

The Protagonist - our narrator is also the hero of our story, just like Percy Jackson

The Secondary Character - our narrator is someone who is close to the hero of a story, for example a friend just like in The Great Gatsby or My Friend the King

The Detached Observer - we don't know who narrator is, we never hear his thoughts or opinions, there is never "me" or "I", we can see this type in Harry Potter or GONE

The Commentator - he doesn't take a part in the story but he puts his comments and thoughts to it, I think we have this one (unless something changed in later books) in Series of Unfortunate Events

We can probably add more to it but I think we don't have to do this in this post. What I want to tell is that we always naturally assume that Narrator (or character he follows) = The Protagonist unless we are informed at the beginning that things are different. Usually the author informs us at the beginning if Narrator is The Protagonist or no. It can be like in Series of Unfortunate Events where Narrator tells that this story will be about someone else or like in The Great Gatsby where we can assume this only by title of the book.

But all of this works perfectly in books while in movies/series it is harder to show us the Narrator. Usually we don't think about Narrator when we watch something. We think that no one has to tell us a story when we actually can see it but this is only an illusion. There always has to be a narrator and creators of the movies/series always thinks about this. There are some movies where we get to know who is narrator like The Great Gatsby (I'm sorry, I just love this movie not even for the plot but for its narration which is just so amazing) or in the Series of Unfortunate Events.

In The Owl House if we want to guess who is the Narrator it is Luz. She is the perfect character for it: she doesn't know the Boiling Isles just like we so we get to discover it with her. It is the easiest way for author to show readers/viewers new world. If you think about it authors usually create narrator characters like this because it's the most natural way to show new world to other people. Harry Potter was a part of New World, Magic World, but he didn't know it because he was raised in Muggle World. The same thing goes for Percy Jackson. In Lord Of The Rings narrator isn't any character but we usually, especially at the beginning, follow Frodo who was raised as a Hobbit in Shire so he doesn't really know the world outside. It is not always done like this. In Game of Thrones we are tossed to existing world, we follow characters which knows how this world works and, for me, it was really hard to catch up on events for like first hundred pages. It just didn't felt so natural like when you get to know the world with the character you follow or The Narrator. It can also work with showing as The Protagonist, like in The Great Gatsby, Nick is someone new in his life, so we get to know Gatsby with him.

So, it is natural that in The Owl House Luz is The Narrator. This way Dana could easily show us her world. But that doesn't mean Luz is the real Protagonist of the story.

2. Luz could be The Protagonist

Luz could be The Protagonist. She is new person in Boiling Isles, she changes it just because she is in it, but... That is not all that is needed to be the protagonist. Protagonist isn't the only person who can have an influence on the story. The presence of Nick in Jay Gatsby's life changes somehow his decisions, but it doesn't make Nick The Protagonist. It is still Gatsby, although Nick has an influence on his character.

I fill like in TOH is similar. Luz has an influence on the events but that doesn't mean she has to be The Protagonist.

3. Eda is The Protagonist

Why Eda? Here we will have some subsections (list in a list my dears)!

3.1 We get to know Eda more then Luz

Oh, but how? I've seen posts saying that people don't understand why we doesn't see any of Luz's memories from before Boiling Isles, even little flash backs. It's because she is only The Narrator, we don't have to know her full story, we only need to follow her in the New World to see what is happening in story and to get to know this world. But we get A LOT of Eda's memories. We've seen her nightmares of being cursed, we've seen her memories with Lilith when they were children, we've seen memories of her curse revealing at the fight with her sister, later we get the memories about how her mother tried to cure her and in last episode we see her story w Raine. That's a lot of flash backs. None other character had so many. The only other character that had some flashbacks was Amity and Willow in one episode and King in his episode this season. But it is not as much as Eda gets. And Luz? We didn't see any of Luz's memories!

3.2 Eda is one of the characters with biggest growth while Luz's growth is small

I also saw posts about how Luz is the only character that doesn't change through the series. It isn't totally correct. She changes. She becomes more certain about the fact that she isn't a freak. I mean, okay, she knows she is still kinda freak (for human standards) but she started to love that part of herself. In this season she also learns that she is not the one who is responsible for everything and that she shouldn't blame herself for every bad thing that happens around her. But in comparison to Eda or Amity it is not so apparent.

Eda went from being an outcast, scared of some parts of herself (cursed ones) to the person who accepted her nature. She isn't outcast anymore. She accepted people's presence in her life. We see this in last episode when she tells herself that just when she got used to people being in Owl House they all leave. Sure, at the beginning she had King, but she didn't talk to Lilith or her own mother. Through the series she opened her heart for other people and now she has so big found family. Not only Luz, King and Hooty. She has great connection with her sister, she started to talk normally to her mother. She met Raine and was so open for them. She is even now friends with Bump and helps him in school which she hated! And also I am sure that she really like Luz's friends.

And the curse. She always played cool about it. "Nah, it just happens!". But we could see that she was actually really scared of it. She hated this part of herself even if she was telling Lilith or their mother otherwise. But in one of the episodes of season two we see that she finally accepted this part of herself and fought back with the curse. And this is such a BIG GROWTH WHICH I LOVE SO MUCH. And yes, this is because of the parallel to mental health illness, that you can't get rid of but you can learn to manage it in proper way. And I love that elixirs didn't helped her to handle it, they only helped her to "keep the curse quiet". The moment she started to manage it was when she stopped it by her own. Just like with mental health problems: meds won't help without your own work.

So yes, in comparison to Eda's character growth Luz's is small, but if she is The Narrator she doesn't have to change a lot. In every story it is The Protagonist who changes most, because stories aren't only about how Protagonist has influence on the world and events but, and I think it is even more important, how events changes The Protagonist.

3.3 Eda is connected to everything that is important for the plot

If you think about this, Eda is the only character that is connected somehow to every piece of plot. And here comes subsections of subsections! (yes, I'm practicing before writing my BSc which I should write RIGHT NOW but Eda is now more important for me, sorry my dear archaea and proteins)

Wild Magic - this one goes for Eda and for Luz but the way it connects with them is very different. Eda chose to not go into any coven. She never wanted to gave most of her magic away and that is why she wanted to go to Emperor's Coven. But when she was forced to fight her own sister I think she started to understand how sick covens were. So she decided to not sign to any of them. She decided to become outcast, out of the law, just so she could still have her Wild Magic. In series she looked so cool with this decision, but that is how she is, she always seems cool but we know that it is not always how she really feels. And I think that decision about being "out of coven" was really hard for her but at the same time she knew that it was only way for her and she was ready to do everything to stay with her Wild Magic. And with the years she never changed her decision. While for Luz Wild Magic used by the glyphs is a way to make her dream come true. It is also important, going with our dreams is one of the most important things in our lives, but for the plot I feel like Eda's connection is more important.

Portal - this one goes for the Eda and Luz too, but again, not in the same way. Both of them found portal by accident but! Eda found it in the way that you could think it was waiting there for here. Like, it literally lied in the mud on her way. While Luz found it because of Eda and Owlbert. Without Eda having it, she would never found Boiling Isles. And here comes third thing.

Luz (and Human Realm) - yes, she is also really important for the plot, although I think she's not The Protagonist. But still Luz has a big influence on events and as I said before, if not Eda she would never come to Boiling Isles and would never had a chance to change anything.

Curse - we know that curse she has is strange. No one on Boiling Isles knew this curse, but somehow Lilith bought it at the night market. Just like with Portal, we can think that it was just meant for Eda to get this curse. Like, it was just lying there and waiting for Lilith to buy it and curse Eda with it. I am sure that it is also connected to the Wild Magic.

King's Father - same story as before, she was running away, found a safe place on some island that no one knows about, in some ruins and by accident found King there. We know that before King hatched he heard a roar, probably his father's. We can also believe that his father was mighty. I think that he could be connected to Wild Magic somehow and that is why someone tried to do something to him. But I think that he is also important for the plot, we just don't know how yet.

Lilith as a head of Emperor's Coven - and here we go to some important point. We know that Lilith became head of a coven just so Belos could get to the Eda and her portal, and Belos is this one important point.

There is only one person who has (or can have like with King's father) connection to all this things and this person is Belos, the main Antagonist. He is fighting with Wild Magic, which apparently made him Cursed and because of this he was looking for Portal to go to the Human Realm, but for this he needed Lilith to get to Eda. So Eda is a key to everything that Belos wants and she actually always stands against him. She is not fighting with Wild Magic, but uses it, she is Cursed but she accepted it and she can manage it, she has/had a Portal but never used it for anything bad. She also has a connection tu Human Realm because of Luz, the kid that she loves, and the only reason she would want to have Portal again is to help Luz, and she also never wanted to actually fight with Lilith while Belos made her to do many times. So she is in natural opposition to him and that is also what makes her The Protagonist of main story.

3.4 We know that Luz doesn't have any "big fate" on Boiling Isles

At the beginning I wrote that we usually know that The Narrator isn't The Protagonist because author shows it to us. But we also know that Dana loves to play with us and she loves to hide informations (even with colour coded scenes) and I feel like she did the same thing with The Narrator - The Protagonist thing. Second episode of the series, Witches before Wizards shows us Luz who tries to find her special fate on Boiling Isles. She thinks she is there because of some grater powers of fate but we learn that this isn't true. We always thought that this is about breaking the stereotype of Protagonist being The Chosen One (like in Harry Potter or Percy Jackson) and I love this idea, but what if it was about showing us that Luz is not The Protagonist of a story? Because for me, everything that happened to Eda: the course, finding portal, King and Luz, looks like to many accidents for one character to be just accidents, more like something (maybe fate) or someone (maybe the Tytan himself because he is trapped somehow by Belos) tries to give her every piece she needs to stand in opposition to main Antagonist of Boiling Isles.

4. Summary

This is only my little theory, I don't know if I am right, but I feel like it can be another Dana's game with stereotypes/archetypes, I'm not sure how to call it, with traditional writing, keeping your Protagonist hide until the very end. And if it will turn out like this I will be really amazed. I would love to know what you think about this! And I also really need to start writing my BSc instead of these analyses but this is SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING.

#the owl house #toh #the owl house eda #eda clawthorne #the owl house luz #luz noceda #the owl house analysis #the owl house spoilers #toh spoilers #eda the owl lady

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malfoymanortings · 4 years ago

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parallels

SUMMARY: history seems to have a habit of repeating itself when elanora snape overhears a conversation between harry potter, the boy she fancies, and his friends.

PAIRINGS: one sided Harry X fem!oc/Snape’s daughter

kinda angsty. hope you all enjoy!

“Elanora Snape and Harry Potter.” Slughorn called, confirming what Elanora had been hoping against.

He kept pairing others together, but all Elanora focused on was that her always unfortunate luck had put her with Harry Potter. Not only was the boy awful at Potions, but her father despised him which meant they didn’t exactly get along.

Slughorn instructed them to go to their assigned partners. Elanora trudged along to where Harry sat, her heart beating in her chest.

Ron Weasley was whispering something to Harry, abruptly cutting himself off when she arrived. He didn’t give her more than a disapproving look, and she felt her lip lift in a sneer as he did so.

She sat down gingerly in her chair, tying back her long black hair with her nimble fingers. Harry nodded to her, pulling out his Potions book.

“Right, so we’re meant to make a poison antidote,” Harry stated awkwardly, running a hand through his unruly black hair. “Would you like to choose the Potion, or should I?”

“I can.” she offered quietly, sliding out of her seat. She could feel his eyes on her as she walked to the front of the room.

She plucked a glittering pink potion, recognizing it as a particularly deadly poison that, once ingested, ripped apart the person's insides. Holding it in her hand, she walked back to Harry, who was studying his Potions book intently with a frown on his face.

“All we’ll have to do is neutralize the acromantula venom in this,” she held out the vial. “And it shouldn’t be poisonous any more.”

“Brilliant,” Harry looked up, seeming disappointed in something. “Well, let’s have at it then.”

They set to work, talking only to discuss possible ingredients. Normally Elanora would be much more focused during a Potions lesson, as it was nearly second nature to her with her father being Potions master, but she kept getting distracted by how brilliantly green Harry’s eyes were. The light would catch them in the most spectacular of ways, sending different shades of green throughout the iris.

He kept running a hand through his hair, his long fingers messing up the already untidy strands. His jaw would clench in frustration every so often, and he would grip his book tightly, making the taught muscles in his forearms pop. Elanora found herself watching his every move subtly, swallowing hard and flushing whenever he would seem to catch her.

“Do I have something on my face?” Harry questioned suddenly, wiping at his cheek.

“Oh,” Elanora flushed, tapping her finger tips against the table. “No, I don’t think so.”

Harry made a noncommittal noise, eyeing her out of the side of his eyes. She resumed looking through her textbook, reprimanding herself for staring so heavily. He was just so beautiful.

Harry’s luck in Potions had seemed to run out as well. For whatever reason, Hermione Granger was smug about the fact. It made Elanora angry to see the bushy haired girl nearly euphoric at the sight of Harry and her failing to find the correct antidote.

As Elanora added pixie tears to the possible antidote, Harry suddenly stood from his chair and hurried over towards the supply closet. Her breath caught in her throat as she found herself mesmerized by his movements once more, and she quickly shook her head. There was no need for her to revisit her carefully hidden crush on Harry Potter. It was a fact that she had hidden from everyone else.

“This should do it,” Harry held out his hand, revealing a Bezoar in his grasp. “Think it’ll slide with Slughorn?”

A laugh escaped Elanora’s lips. “It just might. A bit bold of you, I must say.”

“Well, I would never try this with your dad,” Harry said offhandedly, setting the Bezoar down. “I’m sure he would have-” he abruptly cut himself off, as though he had just realized who he was speaking to.

“He probably would have spit in your face, and taken fifty house points from Gryffindor.” Elanora finished for him, a slight grin on her face. She knew her father could be an arse. That was the only side he ever showed at Hogwarts. He was a touch better at home, away from all the eyes.

Harry let out a started laugh, shaking his head as he eyed her appraisingly. “Yeah, he would have.”

His smile caused her tummy to begin performing an acrobatics routine. He was so handsome. Why did he have to be so handsome?

Much to Hermione Granger’s dislike, the Bezoar went over supremely well with Slughorn. Harry’s grin at the teacher's approval made Elanora grin herself.

From the moment of their pairing in Potions class, Elanora and Harry became more

cordial. It made the crush she harbored for the green eyed boy blossomed into full blown fancying. Her sixth year was already hard on her. Her best friend Draco had suddenly decided he no longer wanted to associate with her due to something going on with her dad. She wasn’t able to figure what exactly it was.

Harry had become the highlight of her year.

They were walking together after Potions, discussing the lesson. Usually he walked with Harry and Ron, so the fact that he was walking with her had her heart fluttering in her chest like a caged bird.

Harry was recounting a story from earlier in the year when he had mouthed off to her father, saying he needn’t call him sir. It was funny hearing Harry’s perspective, as she had already heard it from her father. Harry had grown more comfortable complaining about her father with her, as she had made it clear that she understood her father wasn’t perfect and definitely targeted Harry. She wasn’t quite sure why.

“Hey, Harry!”

Ginny Weasley appeared from the crowd. She didn’t spare a glance towards Elanora, instead smiling widely at Harry.

Harry was smiling back. He suddenly tugged at his shirt, running a hand through his hair. He had a look in his eye that was unmistakable. It was the look Elanora found herself giving him more often than not.

Her heart sank.

“Oh, hi Ginny,” Harry beamed, before glancing down at Elanora. “Mind if I catch up with you later?”

“No problem,” she forced a smile on her face, her throat constricting. “See you around.”

Harry smiled at her, and walked off with the beautiful redhead. Elanora’s face began to crumble, and she hurried along the hallway with her head down. She didn’t need to cry over something as trivial as this.

Later that evening, she resolved herself to speak with Harry. Maybe, if she told him how she felt, he would feel the same. She knew Ginny was dating Dean Thomas anyways. Besides, she had to admit she was fairly emotionally invested in Harry at this point. For all she knew, the interaction he and Ginny shared may have been entirely friendly, but her mind hadn’t allowed her to see that.

She had recalled him saying he was going to the library with Ron and Hermione this evening. She could walk in there, and ask to speak with Harry alone. Surely, with any luck, he would feel the same way. She had to hold onto that hope.

The library was huge, but she found the trio fairly quickly. Her heart swelled when she saw Harry’s unruly hair, but the words coming from Ron’s mouth made her falter in her step, and hide behind a bookcase as she eavesdropped on their conversation.

“So, Gin said you were walking with Snape after class,” the redhead let out a laugh. “Gin thinks she fancies you.”

“Elanora?” Harry questioned, straightening up in his chair.

Her interest was undoubtedly peaked now. A smile crossed her face, perhaps she was about to get her answer without asking him herself. Maybe Ron Weasley wasn’t a complete idiot.

“Yeah mate,” Ron sounded humourous. “Anything you want to tell us?”

“No,” Harry said quickly. “No way I’d ever be with a Snape. Don’t think I could ever get over the nose.”

The three bust out laughing. The words stabbed deep into Elanora’s heart.

“That’s a bit harsh, Harry,” Hermione reprimanded between giggles. “But I do see what you mean.”

“Hard not to, innit?” Ron joked, his laughter subsiding. They laughed again, before moving onto another topic.

With tears welling in her eyes, Elanora backed away. She wasn’t as careful as she should have been, and she knocked into the bookcase behind her, causing a few books to tumble to the floor with a crash.

The trio looked behind them, their faces reminiscent of a deer caught in headlights. Elanora felt her tears slipping down her cheeks in a steady stream, and she turned on her heel, leaving the books on the ground.

The few students she passed in the hallway gave her odd looks as she clambered through the hall to her common room. Her chest ached and her throat was tight, but she made it to her room before she completely fell to pieces.

She was so stupid. Why had she even entertained the thought of Harry liking her back?

Something inside of her shifted and cracked. Her sadness gave way to a burning pit of anger that settled in her throat. She wanted nothing more than to hurt them the way they had hurt her. But did she want to go that far?

#harry potter #harry #potter #snape #snape fandom #snape family #snape daughter #severus snape #hogwarts #ron weasley #ronald weasley #harry potter x oc #angst

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theopolis · 3 years ago

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Extremely long, extremely salty Kindred criticism post

Yk the thing about the Kindred storyline is that it failed at being everything it was trying to be.

It wanted to be like DeMatteis' Goblin Junior arc while simultaneously inverting every concept from that arc. Harry is a gentle soul going down a dark path and hurting not only others but himself in the process? No, he's the comically evil mastermind who would throw his friends - Gwen and MJ, who even by his own standards have done him no wrong - under the bus to get revenge! Norman is the looming influence that follows Harry and motivates him to bend himself into who his father wanted him to be? No, he's the repentant, permanently dewey eyed reformed Norman who we're supposed to feel bad for when he gets dismissed and punched around by evil Harry/his demonic clone vessels/whatever the fuck. Peter is the best friend who, despite of course feeling angry and betrayed, believes in Harry's softness and their love and wants the best for him? No, he's immediately and with zero explanation ready to believe Harry is a literal demon all of a sudden and, I quote, "through with helping him". And I don't even think this (later clumsily backpedaled on) change of mind in Peter isn't justified in-universe - Kindred did uh, dig up the skeletons of Peter's loved ones and put party city wigs on them and also smash him with a big rock a couple of times, so there's that. But that's exactly the problem - Spencer set the stage for a story that doesn't actually involve Peter, or Harry, or Norman. He created mostly completely different dynamics between mostly completely different characters, and decided to project that on the the three of them. While also periodically inserting hamfisted callbacks to the DeMatteis stories, as if he didn't just take a giant dump on everything they established.

And here's the thing, even if I did enjoy the idea of Harry forgiving Norman, or the idea of Harry returning to villainy, or the idea of Norman becoming a character we're supposed to root for - which I cannot stress enough how much I don't - the execution of all these ideas was perhaps the worst it could have possibly been. Rushed, convoluted, and hollow.

Norman's sudden goodness is the result of a supernatural, vague process that apparently "freed him of his sin", whatever that means. Like, how do you quantify sin? How can you take it out of a person when it's their moral ideology and conscious choices that make them sinful/bad/evil? What happened to Norman simply reads like brainwashing to me. He is aware he's done something really bad, but he hasn't actually learned anything, and that impression is only backed by the way he talks about his past actions. It's always "oh it's my fault you're like this Harry" and "oh I can never make it up to you" etc etc but does he ever actually recognize his mistakes for what they were? Recognize where the errors of his past convictions lie? Of course not, because Spencer has zero reading comprehension and therefore no clue about the intricacies of Norman's character, his abuse of Harry, or what motivated it, or what he demanded of his son. It's funny how these four panels from a recent What If issue managed to paint a more compelling, if brief, picture of Norman as an apologetic father than Spencer has in a year worth of comics:

Harry's sudden villainy and the way it evolved throughout this story is just a train wreck. He has not had a substantial role in the comics for a long time now, but suddenly he's back AND he's evil! Who cares about complexity? Who cares about how Harry's feeling? Why he's doing what he does other than some extremely vague idea of revenge on apparently both Peter and Norman? Even though he was neck deep in denial about Norman being a horrible father and person at the time he supposedly launched the whole (checks notes) "create clones from Norman's and Gwen's DNA to stick it to his old man AND Peter in the future" plan, which he concocted because he somehow (????) knew his father wasn't gonna stay dead, which begs the question why he was so torn up about it in the first place, and- Look I could sit here all day trying to decipher the whole Gabriel and Sarah Stacy twist. It's impressive what an inconsistent, incomprehensible mess it is considering it was only introduced two issues ago. ASM 74 sort of hinted that Harry was being piloted by Mephisto when he created the clones so they could later become his hellish lackeys? I uhm, think? It's impossible to tell because no part of that retcon makes any sense to begin with. It doesn’t want to make sense because it was written - most likely on a whim - with the sole intent to garner good will for undoing Sins Past. Harry, for this entire arc, was not a character but merely a tool to bait us with an OMD reversal and ultimately do a Sins Past one. And of course, there's the fact that post OMD Harry - one of the only good things to come out of OMD in the first place - was just a clone all along, putting into question how valid all the amazing and inspiring development he went through since his revival was. Thanks a lot.

Lastly, I don't think I have to say how insulting it is to not just use Harry's character as a cheap plot device, but eventually force him to sacrifice his life for the very man who ruined it in every way. The man who abused him since birth, betrayed him on every level, attacked and murdered so many people Harry loves, including almost getting Harry's son killed. Why? Because he’s had a suspicious sudden onset of goodness that Harry has no context for? Norman and clone!Harry have not even interacted for this entire arc, but the sole act of Norman offering himself up to the rabid Kindred twins makes Harry instantly forgive everything he’s ever done. There was no build up to this whatsoever. It’s bad writing. And I don't think the abuse apologism implications of all this are intentional, I think Spencer just thought up the groundbreakingly subversive concept of "what if Norman good and Harry bad" and ran with that. But those implications are there nonetheless, because Harry and Norman's relationship has pretty much always been about abuse, about being mistreated by your parents, about not feeling good enough for them and eventually realizing that you were wronged and you don't owe them anything.

Spencer had Harry, a man who fought for years to rise to his best, most authentic self and fully turn his back on Norman and his legacy, die to save the father who never valued him for that self. And to add insult to injury, paralleled that with Harry dying after saving his best friend who loved him unconditionally. The latter mentioned death being a direct consequence of the actions Harry took to fit the expectations said abusive father had drilled into his head. I feel like that ending explains everything about this plotline.

#Harry Osborn #theopolispost #I'm tired #long post

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groovybaybee · 4 years ago

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In The Club - 1

cw: bit of smut, alcohol consumption, think that’s all, terrible writing but that’s a given

(8.8k i’m so sorry, the other chapters won’t be this long i promise)

masterlist

Fucking your friend is never as problem-free as you convince yourself it will be. Sure, it starts out simply enough; two horny people agreeing to a moment of need-driven desperation. If you are lucky, the sex is terrible and forms the basis of just another inside joke between you. However, if you are truly unfortunate, the sex is fantastic and addictive and so convenient that you convince yourself it is an ideal situation.

“Fuck me,” I groan blissfully as the cool night air smacks against my exposed flesh.

Despite still not falling into the habit, the smoking area of any club quickly becomes my sanctuary on any given night out. Something about the space feels sacred and sinful at once, a free zone of communal naughtiness.

Its more than that. The haze-filled space offers a welcome reprieve, whether that be from thumping beats, one drink too many, or lecherous advances. Standing outside in my sanctuary, breathing in a mixture of second-hand smoke and crisp, late August air; I feel at peace. My eyelids flutter closed and my head rolls back until my chin is parallel with the night sky.

Its cold. We knew it would be before we came out, the idea of a summer in London feeling like some sick joke as we rallied around each other to avoid bringing jackets to avoid wasting time in a queue for the cloakroom. The evening’s chill does not bother me, instead, I appreciate the way it sinks into my skin, chilling the heat being pumped through my veins. The beads of sweat in my hairline begin to dissipate as the soft breeze caresses every piece of bare skin.

“You alright there, babe?” I hear Harry ask, promptly reminding me that I am not alone despite being in my own little world.

A smile pulls across my face, but I take a second to breathe one final inhale of tranquillity before meeting his gaze. He is grinning at me, clearly finding amusement in my cooling down process. If his use of the name ‘babe’ had fallen on deaf ears, the toothy grin and glazed look in his eyes would quickly clear up any confusion as to his state of intoxication.

The sweet boy is pissed.

As he has every right to be. Tonight marks the first night in months he has accepted an invitation to come out. Do not get me wrong, Harry is an inspiration for his dedication to his work and it is obvious that creating music is his path in life, his primary passion, but man have I missed him. The past month has been the worst, almost every offer to spend time together being met with a consolatory ‘Have to work sorry :(‘ text message. Despite knowing that this was the truth, and would only last a little while longer until his newest album was fully wrapped, it still stung not being able to relax after a long week with a bottle of wine, some horrendous film, and one of my best friends. But the album is done, fully mastered and now just awaited final approval before being birthed to the world. Now, I have my boy back.

“I’m so happy you came,” I tell him, wrapping my arms clumsily around his neck.

I feel a breath of laughter against my hair as he pulls me into a tight hug. The two of us sway enthusiastically together, likely encouraged by a mixture of spirits but happy, nonetheless.

Pulling away from him I press a quick kiss to his lips, hands on his cheeks squeezing his face gleefully. This is not the first time I have kissed Harry during our two-year long friendship. The two of us even went through a brief period of kissing each other hello, up until just over a year ago. So, it is little shock to the rest of our friendship group when we share a few giggle-fuelled smooches.

“Get a room,” Deb laughs, stubbing out the butt of her cigarette with an amused eyeroll.

“Some people would pay good money to see this sweet action.” Harry teases, a hand gripping my hip and pulling my body flush against his to prove his point.

I would be lying to myself if I said his body did not feel good against mine, that his lips don’t spread warmth through my chest, but so does gin.

“Tanya’s having afters at her’s, anyone fancy it?” Bri asks, wobbling on weakened ankles as she walks over to us, arms wrapped tightly around her petite frame to fight the cold.

The question is indirectly aimed at Deb, something only Harry and I seem to notice, a smirk shared between the two of us at this realisation. It is the same pattern every time we go out and the night starts to draw to a close. The potential for an end to the evening is too much for them, not wanting to say goodbye to each other, but not having enough courage to specifically ask the other to spend time together. So, the roll of cupid falls on my shoulders once again.

The moment I hear Deb agree to go with Bri, I speak up, “No way am I staying up until five with you two chain-smokers. I’m going home.”

“So boring,” Bri teases, a grateful look in her eyes. I send her a quick wink when Deb is distracted, asking Harry if he will join.

“Nah, think I’ll skip it as well. Make sure this one gets home alright.” He responds, a gentle squeeze to the flesh of my hips.

“Sure,” Deb smirks before turning to Bri.

The two women look at each other for a moment, a soft haze of smoke and stifled attraction surrounding them.

“Have a good time,” I interrupt, snapping them out of their unintentional staring contest. Each gives me a hug, desperate to hide their pinkened cheeks from the other. “Be safe, I love you both.”

“You too!” Bri hollers as they begin to walk away.

“Use protection!” Deb shouts across the crowded area, eliciting embarrassed giggles from Harry and myself as we hide our faces in the other’s neck.

“You staying at mine tonight?” I query as I lift my head from the crook of his neck. “Missed having you round.”

“I’d love that,” Harry says, pressing a kiss to my forehead, “Want to go now?”

I nod and smile as he finishes the last of his drink in one gulp, Adam’s apple bobbing harshly. A large drop spills from the corner of his mouth and he clumsily wipes it away with the pad of his thumb. His hand slips into mine as we cut through the crowd in the same direction as Deb and Bri

A smirk graces my lips as I picture the pair sat in a car together, completely oblivious to their mutual attraction. Since the moment they were introduced at my birthday party a few years back, they have tiptoed around each other, both deeply infatuated but too scared to make the first move. Sometimes I worry that they are too similar for their own good, that they will dance around the subject forever.

“Who do you think will make the first move?” I ask Harry as we walk to find a nearby takeaway, my body on autopilot as Harry leads me through quiet London backstreets.

“Probably me.” Harry says absentmindedly, focussing the majority of his attention on checking the road is clear before we cross.

“Deb or Bri, idiot.” I chuckle, my legs working overtime as I try to keep instep with his long strides.

“Oh, Deb, guaranteed.” Harry posits, holding the door to the almost empty chip shop open for me to step inside.

“I’m not so sure,” I say as we join the queue, the group of girls in front of us swaying, most holding their high heels as they discuss condiments. “At uni, Deb was always too shy to go up to girls, so I had to do it for her, but Bri’s a model you know, confidence kind of comes with the territory.”

“Not necessarily. Bet you a tenner it’s Deb.” He smirks, hand already outstretched to shake mine.

“You’re on,” I shake his hand firmly, the mischievous twinkle in his eye charming me more than I would like to admit. “Want to split some chips?”

* * *

By the time we pile into my flat, the food is almost cold, the two of us quickly chowing down as we collapse on to the sofa. We work like a well-oiled machine, falling into our habits of pouring water, kicking our shoes off, and switching on some late-night television.

“I know I’ve said this a hundred times,” I start softly as my wild eyes attempt to focus on him under the dim light, “But it’s so good to see you. I’ve missed you, man.”

“C’mere,” Harry grins, pulling me into a tight squeeze before we settle side by side into the cushions. “Been meaning to tell you, you look great tonight.” Harry smiles cheekily.

“You going to try and snog me again?” I tease through a mouthful of chips.

“You do look irresistible right now.” Harry chimes, wiping a smudge of ketchup from the corner of my mouth before popping his finger in his mouth to clean it.

There is a brief pause, a second or so of silence before Harry speaks again, picking through the box of chips for the perfect one.

“I liked kissing you.”

“Do it again then.” I tease, wondering if he will take the bait or laugh it off.

Turning in his seat until he is facing me, a curious smirk plays at the corners of his mouth. For a second, his lips pucker in thought.

It is all I can do not to let out a little breath of laughter. The situation is bizarre, undoubtedly. Yet, there is a distinct sensation of calm filtering through my body, as though no matter the outcome, I would be satisfied.

“I shouldn’t… Haven’t had sex in months, scared it might stir up something in me.” With that, he turns his attention to the TV, slouching down into the sofa cushions.

“Harry,” I utter softly.

“Hmm?” he asks, my gaze fixed on his jaw as he clenches and releases it absentmindedly.

“Kiss me.”

Turning to face me yet again, this time with an incredibly serious look on his face, his eyes dark and stern. While he observes me, I take a sip of my water. His eyes follow me intensely, watching my lips part before lowering the glass and swallowing, his throat bobbing with mine.

“Are you sure?”

“Beyond sure.” I tell him with enough confidence for the both of us.

Our lips meet somewhere between us, lazily melting together as we sink into the sofa cushions. We move in a blur, arms around each other, hands caressing faces.

Our clothes tangle as we hastily undress ourselves, giggling as the garments collide on their way to the living room floor.

“This is stupid, isn’t it?” Harry grins before connecting our lips over and over.

“Completely.” I smirk between tequila-flavoured kisses.

“Condom?” he asks, voice slightly muffled by the flesh of my shoulder.

“Implant.” I tell him breathlessly, mentally reminding myself of my appointment to get it replaced next week.

Harry just nods into the crook of my neck, a hand reaching down to position himself. The giggles fade away as we become fully connected, slipping naturally into a symbiotic amalgamation of limbs and lips. It is hasty and sweaty, each of our movements oozing with lust. Our bodies work quickly with one another, only personal need driving us until we pull our clothes back on.

“Nice.” I tease, reaching my hand out for a high-five.

“Loser.” Harry laughs, pulling me into his side. A quick kiss is pressed to my temple and we turn back to the television as if nothing had happened.

* * *

The morning after, us having sex has already turned into a private joke. The two of us teasing one another relentlessly as we nurse our hangovers with a fry up.

“Never going to be able to look at you the same way, not after seeing your face when I made you—”

“Made me? I don’t think you could make me do anything.” I interrupt, bumping Harry’s hip with my own as I plate up our late breakfast.

“That so?” he replies, a smirk strongly evident in his voice.

I am about to reply when his hands slip around my waist from behind, gently raising until they cup the underneath of my breasts.

“Do you want to eat or not?” I laugh, motioning to the pan of eggs in one of my hands and the spatula in the other.

“Fine.” He grins, giving my boobs a quick, soft squeeze before moving away.

We sit down on the barstool by the island and I instantly dig in, desperate to eat away the throbbing in my head.

“Bri’s sad because she didn’t make a move on Deb.” Harry tells me as he types a response quickly on his phone.

“Telling her about last night to cheer her up?” I joke. Harry pauses, locking his phone and placing it down on the cool granite surface.

“God, can you imagine how much shit they’d give us if they found out?”

“I won’t tell if you don’t.” I offer a hand for him to shake.

“Deal.” He says quickly, stretching out his own hand to meet mine.

* * *

It isn’t until a few weeks later that I get to see Harry again. Work consumes us both as always. Harry finalises a promotion timeline for his new album while I travel across Sicily, working with temperamental models in the baking summer sun. I spend the first day back at home, lazing on the sofa and doing laundry. Almost immediately upon exiting the plane, I miss the heat. Late summer in London provides to be drizzle-filled and grey for the majority of the time. The only time sunshine rears its head is the day of Harry’s party. Typical, really. That man even has mother nature on his side.

After a sluggish and jetlagged day spent doing laundry and replying to emails, I drink as much caffeine as possible before heading over to Harry’s place. He had wanted tonight to be as intimate as possible. Only family, friends and a few members of the production team received the invitation to his house to hear his new album before the public get their hands on it. The select few of us, after checking our names with the security team at the gatehouse, make our way through the enclosed community, walking right in through his unlocked front door.

Once inside, I cannot help the smirk that tugs at my lips as I imagine Harry organising this party. The house is covered in pink and blue like a fancy gender reveal and all I can picture is a roll of tape between Harry’s teeth as he insisted on hanging streamers himself.

Quickly, I am distracted by the décor when a table filled with flutes of champagne catches my eye. With one in my hand, I turn a corner and see him immediately. He stands in the centre of the lounge while those around him sit dotted around the space, watching as he speaks animatedly. His hands move about wildly as he talks, eliciting laughter from the room as he continues to tell a story I already recognise. Just as he reaches the climax of the tale, his gaze floats towards me. Joy seems to settle around us as everyone cracks up at the punchline of the anecdote, the two of us simply sharing soft smiles by way of a greeting. I raise my glass slightly and he understands, continuing to entertain the room effortlessly as I join the masses, simply observing and enjoying him.

“Alright?” I hear a familiar voice utter groggily. I turn to see Bri clutching an espresso martini tightly, majority already drunk. “Knackered, mate.” She confirms as she presses herself against me in lieu of a hug.

“Know the feeling,” I sympathise, feeling the formidable aches of travelling.

Bri and I swap stories about where we have recently flown in from as we settle amongst the group, finding a small loveseat brought in to accommodate the increased number of occupants.

Collectively, the room falls silent. Harry, charmingly humble as always, utters a few words of thanks to us all for our support during the writing, recording, and production processes, before we relax into the evening as the first track begins to play. Thankfully, Harry has already witnessed my initial reactions to each and every song, including a few which did not make the cut, so I need not worry about emotional outbursts in front of some of his nearest and dearest. Each track reminds me of the nights he would sneak me demos or voice memos of certain lyrics and riffs he was particularly proud of at that moment. Hearing the album again now brings back a serious swell of pride that fills my heart right to its capacity, emotion beginning to fill my eyes as we listen to the stories of his heart. Each sorrowful ballad and upbeat tune breaks and reforms my heart repeatedly and I am once again, completely enamoured with him and his talent.

* * *

“My girl,” Harry calls out happily, slinging an arm around my shoulders. “What did you think of the album?”

“I’ve already heard it.” I laugh, absentmindedly leaning into his warmth, grateful for it in the slight chill of his back garden.

“You weren’t supposed to though.” He whispers, lowering his head as he colludes with me, “This was meant to be the first time anyone outside of production heard it so… shh.”

Impossible to hold back my grin at his ridiculously over the top nature, I just give him a toothy nod before placing my left index finger against my lips.

“I won’t tell if you don’t.” I say softly.

“Where have I heard that before?” he grins, tapping a finger against his chin as he pretends to search his memory. His gaze trickles over my body, eyebrows pulling together when he notices the giant purple bruise spread across my upper left arm. “How did you do that?”

Gently, he takes my arm in his hand, lifting it softly to take a better look at the yellowish edges.

“Was time to get my implant removed, back to condoms for a few weeks.” I tell him casually, not realising the suggestive nature of my words until he replies.

“Going to miss the way you feel for a few weeks then.” His tone is so casual that it stuns me for a moment, completely unable to think of a witty retort.

I had assumed that our drunken fling was just that. Never had the thought crossed my mind that he might want to do it again. Okay, that’s a lie. I have thought of little else at night than the thought of Harry on top of me again, his hand replacing my own as I bring myself to climax.

However, watching the way he observes my reaction sparks a disgusting greed within me.

“Hang out when everyone leaves?” he asks, seeing the fire behind my eyes and matching it with his own.

It is all I can do to nod and not pull him aside and let my body mould to his.

The evening passes quicker than I had expected, perhaps my slight exhaustion seems to warp my internal clock, making hours feel like minutes. Regardless, before I know it, Harry and I find ourselves on his bed, lips and limbs entangled.

“I’m really proud of you.” I manage to mumble against his lips in a brief interlude in which they are parted from my own.

“That means a lot.” Harry utters back, equally hindered by my lips against his. Neither of us mind though. If anything, these small and restrained interactions seem to encourage us, raising the heat in the room as hands grasp and grip the other. Our bodies flush together, desperately meeting in any way possible as if trying to verbalise what we do not dare talk about.

We move much slower than the last time, savouring each and every touch as we take turns removing the other’s clothes. Contrary from our previous experience, there is nothing greedy about our movements. Instead, a different type of need drives our bodies to intertwine.

I manage to pull myself away from him for long enough to mutter, “Condom?”

Harry stills above me, eyes averted as he thinks deeply before speaking, “Think there’s some in the bathroom, sorry, I’ll be right back.” With a swift kiss to my forehead, he dashes from the room into his en suite.

“Cute bum.” I call after him, enjoying the way his hips wiggle with his quick pace.

“Cheers!” he hollers back, shortly followed by the sound of skin on skin.

The idea of him slapping his own backside leaves a smile on my face which lasts until he returns with a single condom, declaring it to be the last one and making some teasing comment about how lucky I am. His words fall on deaf ears, however, as I feel the energy in the room shift. My eyes glue to his body as he sits beside me, taking both of my hands in his and pulling me to sit up straight. The muscles of his body grow taut under his skin as he moves me to sit between his open legs. My feet lock around his back, his hands mirroring the same position around my waist as our lips meet yet again.

Into each other we sink deeper, chest meeting chest, rising and falling together. A gentle hand lifts to tuck away a lock of my hair before settling against my cheek, softly grazing his fingertips across the tender flesh of my neck. His lips are like runny honey against my body as they trail across my jaw and trickle down the column of my throat, catching my breath between them. The tip of a thumb under my chin keeps my head high as his lips work lower and lower. My own lips are parted as I melt beneath him.

“Harry,” I gasp, unintentionally making him stop dead in his tracks. Panic instantly flooding through my veins, I cast my gaze downwards to check on him. He looks up at me with soft but needy eyes. “What is it?” I ask cautiously, my hand subconsciously clearing the rogue tendrils of hair away from his forehead.

“I like the way you say my name.” he utters lowly, so quiet it almost seems as though he is afraid of my reaction.

Unsure of what words could quell whatever doubts he is battling with; I replace them with a soft kiss to his lips. One side of his face cupped in my hand, I feel him lean into me, eyelids fluttering shut just long enough to savour the feeling but not so long as to make it obvious that it was his aim.

“Harry,” I whisper, just loud enough to catch his attention and bring his eyes back to mine, “I want you to…”

I falter, unsure of the right word to use here. None seem to fit just right, either feeling too blunt and devoid of emotion or too far the other way.

Regardless of semantics, Harry understands and slips his hips away slightly. I watch as his steady hands tear the wrapper open and roll the condom down his shaft. Without another moment’s hesitation, his hands are back on my body, grasping at the flesh at my sides as he pulls me into his lap. With every move he makes, his lips provide accompaniment. Kisses spread across my face and neck, down to my collarbone and breasts, celebrating each and every part they come into contact with.

Desperate to feel every part of him, I raise my hips. Upon realising my intentions, Harry meets my gaze, watching me with awe-filled eyes as I slip our bodies together. I feel him gasp against the bare skin of my chest. For a moment, our actions are slow, adjusting to the overwhelming feeling of one another. Our hips rock gently into each other, soft moans and sharp inhalations fill the otherwise quiet bedroom, bouncing off the walls I have begged him countless times to add more colour to. His hands grip the flesh of my hips, reaching down sporadically to grope at my cheeks. With each squeeze and scratch, I move faster against him, head thrown back in pleasure as we repeatedly hit every delicious spot.

His hands caress every part of me, truly making love to my body as heated gasps slip past my lips. Our bodies work as a chemical reaction of lust and care, eyes locked as we move quicker and more urgently. Everything we need to say we say with a kiss of the neck, a scratch of bare skin, and a bliss-filled moan.

Two hands slip behind me, swiftly but securely lowering me into the pillows of the bed before returning to my hips and waist. His hands grip me tighter as this new position allows him to sink deeper into me, his body slowing temporarily against mine to savour the feeling of being fully complete. His eyes never leave mine, pupils contracting and dilating, telling me everything I need to know.

My gaze flicks down to the point where our bodies meet, watching in lust-filled awe as we connect. I feel Harry do the same as his forehead rests against mine, hands slipping to grasp at my thighs, squeezing and moulding the flesh in his hands. A groan leaves my lips at the sensation of his adoration. At the sound, his hips snap harshly against my own, eliciting louder, wilder moans. Encouraged beyond belief, Harry chases my pleasure, speeding up the movement of his body against my own. His head drops down to my neck, suckling and licking at the skin growing tender under his control.

Lifting his upper body from mine, he pushes gently against one of my legs until it is perpendicular to my body. Instantly, I melt beneath him, this new angle driving me into a state of madness as he hits harder and deeper, watching with animalistic pride as I clutch around desperately for something to cling to. My fingertips tangle in the bedsheets, eager to anchor myself as a hand slips between my legs. His fingers spin soft circles, their contrast to the speed and force of his hips sending me over the edge, body shuddering violently as he eases me back down. Harry utters soft words, gentle coos that bring me back to him and allow my eyes to unscrunch themselves. When I see him, laying atop me, face just inches from mine, the fire is burning brighter than I have ever seen it, something about watching the pleasure he brings me arousing every sense.

“Fuck me,” I beg, my voice cracking from my raw throat but I don’t care. I need him.

He gives me everything in him, using my body to feel good, knowing as well as I do that nothing could compare to the two of us. Even when his face contorts, jaw slack and breathing halted, I feel the care he has for me. His fingertips caress the softness of my skin, gently roaming the expanse of my body as I tether him to the Earth. Collapsing into me, he buries himself in the crook of my neck. My hands come up to encircle him, grazing up and down his back soothingly as he catches his breath.

“You’re unreal.” Harry eventually mumbles against my skin, producing a breathy giggle from deep within my chest. He pulls away, rolling off me and quickly discarding the condom before laying beside me. Propping his head up with his hand, his body follows the contours of my side in order for us to constantly be touching. “I mean it.”

I turn to him, tucking one knee between his and trying not to groan at the ache in my body.

“I dig you too.” I say with a gentle, slightly exhausted smile.

“Never said that,” he teases, earning a half-hearted frown which just makes him grin even harder. Slowly, his face falls serious, his brows pulling together as he contemplates the thought swimming around in his mind.

“Tell me.” I whisper, a hand coming up to rest on the side of his face, thumb automatically caressing the stubble across his cheek.

“Sometimes I think we’ll end up together.” He tells me quietly. My actions still, eyes flitting to his eyes to search for the tell-tale sign that he is just being mischievous. But there is only a hint of worry in those bright eyes.

“Yeah?” I ask, quickly licking my lips to distract myself from the break in my voice, convincing myself that it is simply because my throat is still sore from moments ago.

“Yeah.”

We lay for a while like this, no words spoken, or action taken. I don’t think either of us would know what to do if we wanted to anyway. Instead we lay. His hand comes up to rest on top of mine, keeping me with him until the rise and fall of our chests sync and my eyelids grow heavy.

“Tired?”

“Little, still a bit jetlagged.” I mumble, already half-asleep despite my intentions to stay awake and look at him all night long.

“Go to sleep.” He says softly before pressing a tender kiss to my hand. His lips work as an immediate sleep aid, relaxing every aching muscle and eradicating every stressful thought.

* * *

Three weeks pass by quickly, work overwhelms me yet again and I spend my days and nights at shoots, silently praying that each director I work with will be less of a diva than the last. Unfortunately, my prayers go unanswered. The increased workload begins to drain every last drop of lifeforce from me. My limbs ache with exhaustion, stomach never fully settled due to lack of sufficient sustenance.

“I’m knackered, think I might be getting the flu.” I explain sleepily to Harry over FaceTime, my body slumping back into the heap of pillows in my unmade bed. His camera flips around from the beautifully clear blue sky above him to a concerned, slightly bearded Harry. “Have you shaved since you left?” I ask with a smirk.

“This is my LA stache.” He grins, smudging and finger and thumb across the width of the hair above his top lip.

“I miss you.” I whisper, not meaning the words to leave my subconscious.

“I miss you too,” Harry smiles, his eyes softening as an excited shade of light pink flushes his cheeks. “Hang out when I’m back?”

I nod and agree to dinner next week before yawning and saying goodbye. Wrapping myself up in the cold duvet, the thought of seeing Harry soon stops me from slipping into sleep. My mind relives our last night together, each kiss and caress playing like a film. We should have talked about it before he left but, as per usual, our work-lives consumed us. What would he say about that night? Did he feel the difference in the way we moved? Is he just as freaked out by it?

The next day, all doubts and fears are drained from my body, a care package waiting on my doorstep as I arrive home. Carrying the box inside, my eyes glance around the box in search of some sign to indicate the sender’s identity. I knew he had been the one responsible for it, but the contents just confirmed it. Tins of soup, orange juice, cold and flu medicine, a box of cherry bakewells (my absolute favourite comfort food), and an unbelievably soft pair of fluffy socks.

Snapping a quick picture of the assortment, I send it to Harry with a string of appreciative words, tearing up due to his sweetness and my sickness.

It does not matter what either of us thinks of feels about that night together, because at the end of the day, it is always going to be him and I, whatever form our relationship takes.

* * *

“You look like shit.” Deb greets as she presses a kiss to my cheek before allowing me to sit across from her and Bri. I fight the urge to roll my eyes and glance down at the menu laid across my plate. The majority of the options made my stomach churn, the thought of pushing eggs down my throat enough to make me gag.

“Can’t shake this bug.” I grumble, sipping at my water as our waitress arrives.

“Three mimosas please.” Bri smiles sweetly at her.

“Oh, no, just two.” I correct, starting to break into a slight sweat. The waitress nods and excuses herself to fetch the girls their drinks, leaving them both to look at me with wide eyes and mouths agape. “My stomach has been in bits for weeks, no way I’m drinking and making myself puke again.”

“Never thought this day would come... I mean its brunch, what else are we going to do?” Bri gasps in a dramatically solemn tone.

“Yeah, can’t remember the last time you didn’t drink with us.” Deb frowns, clearly slightly upset at losing one of her drinking buddies. “Except that one time at uni.”

A smirk ghosts over my lips at the memory. Deb and I, still in our first year, sat in the pub with two pints on the table, both untouched as we watched the pregnancy test stashed in my bag slowly reveal just one line.

Slowly, the smile begins to fall from my face, Deb mirroring me as the penny slowly drops for the both of us.

“When was the last time you got your period?” she asks quietly.

“What?” Bri asks in utter confusion, excluded from our moment of telepathy.

“I can’t remember,” I admit in a whisper.

“Jesus Christ.” Deb sighs, the colour draining from her face as her hand comes up to rub at her forehead nervously.

“I had my implant taken out, the doctor said my hormones would be unpredictable so I haven’t really thought about it.” I rush, desperately trying to defend myself for not noticing the absence.

“Oh,” Deb says, instantly perking back up as if nothing had even happened. “To be fair, when was the last time you had sex anyway?”

She speaks as if the question were simple a throwaway comment, a small joke to lighten the mood. Of course, she would think that, the last time I spoke to the girls about my sex life, it was to complain about its lack of existence. I haven’t quite found the right way to tell them that Harry and I are doing whatever it is we are doing.

“About a month ago.” I admit quietly, unlocking my phone to flick through my calendar, mainly to avoid the harsh gaze of two of my best friends.

“What? Who with?” Bri asks giddily, however her excitement is drastically overshadowed by Deb’s probing.

“You used protection though?”

“Of course we did, I’m not an idiot.” I say, feeling myself getting wound up as the blood seems to drain from my body.

There is no way I am. We were safe. There’s no way.

When I look up to meet their gaze, however, both girls look at me with such sympathetic gazes that it takes everything in me not to burst into tears.

“Want to get a test to be sure?” Bri asks gently, somehow instantly caught up and fully aware of the sheer internal panic I am feeling.

I nod and we immediately leave the table. Bri takes my hand and waits with me as Deb quickly pays for the drinks that did not even arrive.

“It’ll be okay,” Bri whispers to me, her thumb soft against the back of my hand.

“Yeah,” I nod, trying to shake of the severe sensation of dread smothering me. Swallowing hard, I manage to meet her eye. “Probably just a scare, right? We’ll laugh about it in an hour.”

She does not reply. No one speaks as we walk to the closest shop, thankfully Deb lives close by and is able to source a test and usher us home before I can overthink too much.

I won’t be. What are the odds? Condoms are 98% effective, I checked in the health aisle as Bri went to pay. 98% is far too high to be stressing out over a few potential symptoms.

The girls sit on the edge of Deb’s bathtub, watching me pee and trying to crack jokes to lighten the mood as I place the test on the side and wash my hands, looking anywhere but the stick.

“These situations make me so glad to be gay.” Deb utters to Bri with a ghost of a smirk.

“Totally.” Bri says with a small giggle.

“Not helping.” I groan, pacing back and forth in the small bathroom, my stomach squeezing tighter and tighter into a knot.

We sit in silence for the remaining few minutes. Until Bri finally breaks the tension in the room.

“Do you want one of us to look?”

“No.” I say quickly, undoubtedly wide-eyed.

With a long inhale and slow exhale, trying to draw out these last few seconds of naivety, I give a small nod before approaching the countertop.

Two lines.

“Maybe its faulty, do another one.” Deb reasons.

“You okay?” Bri asks me gently as our friend digs wildly through the box for the second test stick.

“It’s positive.” I whisper, eyes glazing over slightly as I stare down at the white plastic. “I’m pregnant.”

* * *

“Have you told the dad yet?” Deb asks, her voice crackling through the phoneline as I walk into the hospital’s multi-storey car park.

“No,” I sigh, ready to defend my decision to her for the fourth time since the three of us stood in her bathroom, two positive tests laying across the countertop. “I told you, I wanted to know my options before I tell him. Gather some research, you know?”

“How was it?” she asks as I unlock my car door and slump into the driver’s seat.

I give her a quick run through of my appointment, from taking yet another test, it coming back positive yet again, to discussing the three main paths from here. Abortion, adoption, or parenthood. Repeating all the information the doctor had given me makes me want to be sick, all of the statistics and medical jargon feeling foul in my mouth. This was not supposed to be my life. I was not meant to get knocked up by my friend who, oh yeah, just so happens to be internationally acclaimed musician Harry Styles. Blocking the image of telling him from my mind, I focus back in on Deb’s voice.

“You know I’ll be here through whatever you choose, don’t you? I know you’re scared, and I know this isn’t exactly ideal but you’ll make the right choice and me and Bri will do whatever you need. We’ll hold your hand if the dad won’t.” she tells me, unintentionally causing my eyes to fill with tears.

“Love you Deborah.” I mutter.

“Love you loser.” She grumbles back, eliciting a teary chuckle from my lips.

As the call ends, my head lolls back against the headrest, eyes closing momentarily as I allow myself a few seconds of calm to be grateful for my angelic friends. Both had offered to come with me today, or drive me at the very least, but I had insisted on doing this alone. I could not have dealt with any more eyes on me as I was told ways in which I could deal with my situation. An absentminded guilty hand stretches across my stomach at the thought of my ‘situation’.

Adoption just would not be an option. Unless I somehow managed to avoid Harry for nine months and give birth in secret. Even then I would probably just have to remove myself from his life forever, unable to take the pain of looking at his beautifully unaware face and being stricken with the loathing of giving up the only thing that would ever be just ours. No, that is not an option.

So, my choices become drastically limited. Both life-changing in their own ways. Automatically, my brain begins to form lists of pros and cons as I drive out of the city.

I do want children someday, and people always say that there is no perfect time.

No fucking kidding.

Things would be so much simpler if I was not pregnant. I could live my life and Harry could live his. Surely, he will not want the burden of a family at such a young age. I know all about his hopes and dreams. I know how much music means to him, how incredible he feels after each and every performance. How could I take that away from him?

The thought of not telling him circles around my mind as I sit in the familiar traffic of the route. I could make both of our lives so much simpler if I just made the decision for the both of us. But that is just it, I cannot take that from him. He has to know at the very least.

Anyway, who is to say that he will even want to be involved? Perhaps this has happened before. I have heard the stories of tour. What if he already has an illegitimate child out there and simply does not care? Maybe I have been something to pass the time and the reality of our situation will come crashing down around us and make him want nothing to do with me. Would I keep the baby then?

The possibility of Harry wanting nothing to do with his child leaves my mind almost as quickly as it enters it. This is Harry. He has wanted a family for as long as I have known him, he loves kids. Am I depriving him of a potential future with his partner and legitimate children? Would I be in the background of family photos, not even Harry’s ex, just some woman he got pregnant and has to watch him live happily for the sake of her child’s relationship with their father?

Anger bubbles up inside my ribcage as I pull into the garage attached to the house. With a frustrated sigh, I turn the engine off and step out of the car. How could I let myself be so stupid? No one in their right mind thinks that sleeping with their friend is going to be problem free. Clearly this is a sign, a punishment for being stupid enough to open myself up to the potential of a--

“HEY!” I hear him shout from his front door, quickly dashing out barefoot to come and greet me.

For a split-second when I look at him, I forget why I am here. When he wraps his arms around me and pulls me so tightly against him that I worry I might suffocate, all I feel is his warmth and excitement at seeing my best friend home at last. Until he lets me go, and my stomach sinks to my feet.

“Lets go inside.” My voice is hushed, barely above a whisper when he lets go of me. I pull a smile across my face until he nods and walks bouncily into the house, a half-step ahead of me.

“I’m glad you came over, I wanted to talk to you about something.” Harry says, failing terribly at hiding a grin as we move to his kitchen.

I sit myself on one of his bar stools, gesturing for him to put down the kettle in his hand and sit next to me.

“Me first.” I tell him, my face so solemn and opposite to his that were the circumstances different I may have found it comedic.

“It’s kind of a biggie though.” Harry’s smile is completely unaffected by my tone, so wrapped up in getting out what he wants to say that panic starts to bubble up into my throat at the thought of not being brave enough to just tell him what I need to. “You know that night before I left…”

He looks to me with the most hopeful and kind eyes, making me dig my fingernails into the palms of my hands as the realisation sets in that I am probably about to break his heart and have him hate me.

“I’m pregnant.” I force out, voice cracking halfway.

My heart does not thump in my chest like I had expected it to, nor does my stomach churn as I watch him try to process the weight of my words in the slightest. Inside, I feel a sick sense of calm, potentially relieved, potentially too numb to feel the world disintegrating around me.

“You’re… Sorry, say that again.” His eyes search mine desperately for some sign that this is just a cruel joke. Now the pain resurges, wrapping itself tightly around my lungs and squeezing hard.

“I’m pregnant,” I whisper guiltily.

I wait for Harry to speak again, but he doesn’t. He just stares into mid-air, chest heaving up and down as he attempts to make the slightest amount of sense out of this situation.

“About four weeks,” I explain softly, secretly trying to coax him back to me, selfishly desperate to see my friend’s kind eyes. “I saw a doctor today, talked about my options…whether to keep it.”

“Our options.” he whispers, I think mainly to himself before his eyes free themselves from their visual tether and meet my gaze. They are glassy and it takes all I have not to reach out and take his hand and promise him that it will all be okay, because I honestly do not know that it will and I can’t lie to him.

“Our options.” I repeat quietly, ignoring the slight leap of my heart at his sentiment and quickly reminding myself that he has not committed to anything. “I know it’s a lot to process, and you don’t have to say or do anything… but do you have any… strong preferences?”

“Yeah,” he says lowly, “but it’s your decision, isn’t it?”

My heart sinks and throat dries, all moisture heading towards my eyes. With a large, pained swallow, I sit up straight, avoiding his eye.

“Yeah, sorry, I just thought I should tell you.” My voice is quiet, afraid of its own weakness. I stand from the stool, running a hand through my hair out of nervousness.

“What are you doing?” Harry asks quickly, eyes panic-stricken as he stands up in front of me, catching one of my hands in his.

“Going, I didn’t mean to bother you.” I admit, trying my hardest but failing to hide my heart breaking.

“No, no you—I don’t want that.” He says, only now do I notice the texture in his voice, “We don’t leave each other.”

His eyes are every bit as tear-filled as my own, the sight enough to encourage the water in my eyes to slip gently down my face. Standing in Deb’s bathroom, she and Bri had wrapped me in a gentle hug as violent sobs wracked through my body. Now, however, as Harry and I pull each other into an embrace tight enough to keep up anchored to the world, we cry softly.

“We’ll figure it out.” He whispers, resting his chin on top of my head. “Promise.”

* * *

For hours Harry and I sit at his kitchen island, debating our next move. With frustrated sighs and tearful moments, conversation delves into the logistics of each and every possibility at our disposal.

As predicted, Harry is not keen on the prospect of adoption. The notion that his child might discover their father’s identity and potentially make it public, could destroy his image, his career, everything he has worked so hard for. I tell him I understand, that I had thought this would be his fear, and that our options were narrowed down to two.

There is quiet when the topic is first brought up, the eight-letter word stunning him silence.

“It’s your body.” He manages to whisper.

The groan that passes my lips is unavoidable, having heard those exact words from Deb, Bri, the doctor, and now Harry.

“I wish someone could just tell me the right thing to do.” I sigh, holding my head up on the counter, fingers pressing lightly into my eyes to try and relieve the stress headache that has been lingering for the past few days.

“I’m sorry.” Harry utters quietly beside me.

He sits with his hands in his lap, anxiously picking at his cuticles as he watches me with a frown.

“I didn’t mean for…” he doesn’t finish the sentiment, but I understand.

“Me neither,” I admit, softening my gaze and taking one of his hands in mine to stop him from ruining his nailbeds.

He gazes at my hand on his for a moment, afraid of moving and losing the contact. It twists into mine until our palms are touching, squeezing the width of all my fingers with one gentle contraction of his muscles.

Before I let myself get too caught up in the tender comfort of his skin against mine, I speak up, “Fuck it, pros and cons list.”

I stand up from the stool and find a notepad in one of his messier kitchen drawers.

“No judgment.” I tell him, handing him a pen before making a table with my own.

We pause for a moment, and I list something in the negative column.

Everything will change

Harry follows suit and leaves a few words beneath my handwriting.

IMPACT ON CAREERS?

I cannot help but nod my head before we continue to add to the paper, reasoning for and against our little situation.

The process takes longer than I had expected, Harry arguing with some of my cons and suggesting that they are easily fixable or are, in fact, pros.

“Okay, so cons,” I start once we both lay our pens down. “Everything will change, impact on careers, would we be good parents?, don’t want Y/N to have to deal with media, no privacy, custody, would have to co-parent, impact of pregnancy on day to day, this is all a bit mental.”

Harry nods, urging for me to continue to the counterarguments.

“Pros… We both want kids someday and a friendship relationship could create a good support system for the kid… Think the list is pretty clear then.” Looking at him, we both understand logically what we should do.

“Yeah.” Harry says quietly, eyes burrowing deeply into my own before picking up his pen one more time and adding into the left-hand column:

WE’D HAVE A BABY

His eyes seem to take forever to meet mine, flicking down to where my bottom lip is caught tightly between my teeth.

I pick up my own pen and leave my final note, sealing the decision for us.

Its our baby.

Silence fizzes around us, its intensity growing as our eyes meet and have a conversation that we cannot quite pass to our mouths. He looks to me nervously, chewing at his cheek, his eyes holding back the hope building inside him. I want to tell him that I am still scared, that everything about the future is so uncertain. I cannot do it. I cannot deprive him of the joy he is feeling, however shrouded in terror it is.

“So…” he eventually manages to push out, a slight smile creeping on to his lips.

My mouth mirrors him, the muscles in my cheeks aching slightly from the sensation after not being used for the past few days.

“Yeah.” I let out in a shaky breath, eyes watering yet again but this time I welcome it.

“Should we celebrate?” Harry asks quietly, his voice suddenly apprehensive.

“As long as it includes takeaway and a film.” I say, too exhausted to go anywhere or deal with the consequences that come along with being next to Harry in the outside world. Pushing the nagging dread at the thought of people finding out and commenting on us, I pull up Deliveroo on my phone and we settle on the sofa in his living room.

“What to Expect When You’re Expecting?” Harry teases as he flicks through Netflix.

“Too soon.” I reply, smirking down at my phone.

“Sorry,” he says, not at all sorry for getting a positive reaction from me as if our lives would just slip back to how they used to be.

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ladyofasoiaf · 4 years ago

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ADWD: Daenerys vs Jon

In this meta, I will try to find the clues of Dance of Dragons 2.0 in Daenerys and Jon ADWD chapters.

(I will be pointing out how these two are meant to be against each other)

Mostly: I will examine the chapters that follow each other.

Let’s start...

A) ADWD; Daenerys I & Jon I:

Daenerys I:

He lifted the sack, and spilled its contents on the marble. Bones they were, broken bones and blackened. The longer ones had been cracked open for their marrow. “It were the black one,” the man said, in a Ghiscari growl, “the winged shadow. He come down from the sky and … and …” No. Dany shivered. No, no, oh no. “Are you deaf, fool?” Reznak mo Reznak demanded of the man. “Did you not hear my pronouncement? See my factors on the morrow, and you shall be paid for your sheep.” “Reznak,” Ser Barristan said quietly, “hold your tongue and open your eyes. Those are no sheep bones.” No, Dany thought, those are the bones of a child.

[ADWD; Daenerys I]

Dany’s dragon Drogon burns a child

Let’s look Jon chapter that comes after this Dany chapter:

Jon I:

Burning dead children had ceased to trouble Jon Snow; live ones were another matter. Two kings to wake the dragon. The father first and then the son, so both die kings. The words had been murmured by one of the queen’s men as Maester Aemon had cleaned his wounds. Jon had tried to dismiss them as his fever talking. Aemon had demurred. “There is power in a king’s blood,” the old maester had warned, “and better men than Stannis have done worse things than this.” The king can be harsh and unforgiving, aye, but a babe still on the breast? Only a monster would give a living child to the flames.

[ADWD; Jon I]

GRRM knew exactly what he was doing by making this chapter follow the Dany one.

Only monsters burn children= Dragons are monsters.

Even Dany says so. And Dany calls herself a monster too in her second chapters:

Daenerys II:

Mother of dragons, Daenerys thought. Mother of monsters. What have I unleashed upon the world? A queen I am, but my throne is made of burned bones, and it rests on quicksand. Without dragons, how could she hope to hold Meereen, much less win back Westeros? I am the blood of the dragon, she thought. If they are monsters, so am I.

[ADWD; Daenerys II]

Monsters burn children= Dragons are monsters = Dany is a monster

This ADWD; Dany II chapter comes after ADWD; Jon III.

Let’s keep reading Jon I chapter:

Jon I:

Stannis read from the letter. “Bear Island knows no king but the King in the North, whose name is STARK. A girl of ten, you say, and she presumes to scold her lawful king.”

[ADWD; Jon I]

Like Daenerys, Stannis also believes that he is the only lawful and true ruler, he sacrifices people to flames, he listens what flames tell him, he wants everyone to bend the knee to him.

Also let’s not forget about the Dragonstone and Azor Ahai parallels between Dany and Stannis.

Just like Lyanna Mormont doesn’t bend the knee to Stannis; the other Northern lords won’t accept Daenerys either.

Stannis sees Jon as his key to the North. But Jon made his choice and he chose family and honor over his own desire of becoming the Lord of Winterfell:

“By right Winterfell should go to my sister Sansa.”

[ADWD; Jon I]

Daenerys might also see Jon as her key to the North in the future books but Jon will always choose his honor as a Stark and his Stark family.

Lonely and lovely and lethal, Jon Snow reflected, and I might have had her. Her, and Winterfell, and my lord father’s name. Instead he had chosen a black cloak and a wall of ice. Instead he had chosen honor. A bastard’s sort of honor.

[ADWD; Jon III]

This also comes before a Dany chapter:

[About Jon choosing Sansa and him becoming her hero, please check: Jon x Sansa Book Hints: C12, C13, E2 ]

B) ADWD; Daenerys III & Jon IV:

Daenerys III:

The next morning Xaro’s galleas was gone, but the “gift” that he had brought her remained behind in Slaver’s Bay. Long red streamers flew from the masts of the thirteen Qartheen galleys, writhing in the wind. And when Daenerys descended to hold court, a messenger from the ships awaited her. He spoke no word but laid at her feet a black satin pillow, upon which rested a single bloodstained glove. “What is this?” Skahaz demanded. “A bloody glove …” “… means war,” said the queen.

[ADWD; Daenerys III]

GLOVE IS OFF AND IT MEANS WAR!

Next chapter is Jon:

Jon IV:

As they did their count, Jon peeled the glove off his left hand and touched the nearest haunch of venison. He could feel his fingers sticking, and when he pulled them back he lost a bit of skin. His fingertips were numb. What did you expect? There’s a mountain of ice above your head, more tons than even Bowen Marsh could count. Even so, the room felt colder than it should. “It is worse than I feared, my lord,” Marsh announced when he was done. He sounded gloomier than Dolorous Edd. Jon had just been thinking that all the meat in the world surrounded them. You know nothing, Jon Snow. “How so? This seems a deal of food to me.”

[ADWD; Jon IV]

Jon takes his glove off and loses skin and maybe it gets even bloody?

In this chapter Jon is having problems with finding food and it is safe to assume that dragons are a threat to realm’s supplies.

Jon thinks their best hope is untouched Eyrie- where his Tully cousin hides as a bastard: (source: Best Hope is in Eyrie)

“If we had sufficient coin, we could buy food from the south and bring it in by ship,” the Lord Steward said. We could, thought Jon, if we had the gold, and someone willing to sell us food. Both of those were lacking. Our best hope may be the Eyrie. The Vale of Arryn was famously fertile and had gone untouched during the fighting. Jon wondered how Lady Catelyn’s sister would feel about feeding Ned Stark’s bastard. As a boy, he often felt as if the lady grudged him every bite.

[ADWD; Jon IV]

He once again chooses his Stark family in this chapter:

Which would you have as Lord of Winterfell, Snow? The smiler or the slayer?” Jon said, “Winterfell belongs to my sister Sansa.”

[ADWD; Jon IV]

C) ADWD; Daenerys VII & Jon IX:

Daenerys VII:

This is Dany’s wedding chapter and she learns about her father’s jealousy about married cousins Tywin and Joanna and she also thinks about a love between a Targaryen prince and a Stark lady:

“I want to know. I never knew my father. I want to know everything about him. The good and … the rest.” “As you command.” The white knight chose his words with care. “Prince Aerys … as a youth, he was taken with a certain lady of Casterly Rock, a cousin of Tywin Lannister. When she and Tywin wed, your father drank too much wine at the wedding feast and was heard to say that it was a great pity that the lord’s right to the first night had been abolished. A drunken jape, no more, but Tywin Lannister was not a man to forget such words, or the … the liberties your father took during the bedding.” His face reddened. “I have said too much, Your Grace. I—”

[...]

If he loved you, he would come and carry you off at swordpoint, as Rhaegar carried off his northern girl, the girl in her insisted, but the queen knew that was folly.

[ADWD; Daenerys VII]

Tywin betrayed Aerys and Rhaegar’s love for Lyanna caused a big trouble for the realm...

And we know that Daenerys is still waiting for a BETRAYAL FOR LOVE.

The voices were growing louder, she realized, and it seemed her heart was slowing, and even her breath… three treasons will you know… once for blood and once for gold and once for love…

[…]

A blue flower grew from a chink in a wall of ice, and filled the air with sweetness… mother of dragons, bride of fire…

[ACOK; Daenerys IV]

And next chapter is Jon who is a secret Targaryen and the son of Prince Rhaegar and Lyanna Stark.

So Jon comes after betrayer Tywin. (betrayal)

He is the son of Rhaegar and Lyanna.. (love)

Who is the cousin?

Well A SISTER comes to him in this chapter:

A grey girl on a dying horse. Melisandre’s fires had not lied, it would seem.

[ADWD; Jon IX]

According to Melisandre’s vision this “grey girl” should have been Jon’s sister but Alys Karstark came to him.

“I have seen your sister in my fires, fleeing from this marriage they have made for her. Coming here, to you. A girl in grey on a dying horse, I have seen it plain as day. It has not happened yet, but it will.”

[ADWD; Jon VI]

But in truth Jon’s only sister Rhaenys is dead and the only sisters Jon knows are his COUSINS actually.

Which cousin? The one that fits into the “grey girl” prophecy. Sansa Stark... Who is now facing a new marriage.

According to fan made reading order for AFFC & ADWD: (source: AFFC&ADWD reading order)

ADWD; Jon IX chapter is following AFFC; Alayne II chapter where she learns about Petyr’s plans of marrying her with Harry Hardyng.

So according to same reading order, this Alayne chapter comes between this Daenerys chapter and Jon chapter.

[About Jon and Sansa being Dany’s betrayal for love and doom please read: Jon x Sansa Book Hints: B4, D4, E6 ]

So the fake grey girl that comes after Dany chapter gives us the clues of Dany’s last betrayal for love by pointing out two cousins who are a Targaryen prince and a Stark lady.

Let’s continue with ADWD; Jon IX:

Queen Selyse descended upon Castle Black with her daughter and her daughter’s fool, her serving girls and lady companions, and a retinue of knights, sworn swords, and men-at-arms fifty strong. Queen’s men all, Jon Snow knew. They may attend Selyse, but it is Melisandre they serve.

[ADWD; Jon IX]

We know that Jon dislikes Queen Selyse and he knows that she is actually a puppet of Melisandre.

In one of his ADWD chapters he describes Selyse like this:

A word from Melisandre, and she would walk into the fire willingly, embrace it like a lover.

[ADWD; Jon X]

This description reminds me Daenerys Targaryen.

Who did walk into flames willingly and embrace it like a lover? Daenerys Targaryen:

She had sensed the truth of it long ago, Dany thought as she took a step closer to the conflagration, but the brazier had not been hot enough. The flames writhed before her like the women who had danced at her wedding, whirling and singing and spinning their yellow and orange and crimson veils, fearsome to behold, yet lovely, so lovely, alive with heat. Dany opened her arms to them, her skin flushed and glowing. This is a wedding, too, she thought.

[…]

And now the flames reached her Drogo, and now they were all around him. [...] Part of her wanted to go to him as Ser Jorah had feared, to rush into the flames to beg for his forgiveness and take him inside her one last time, the fire melting the flesh from their bones until they were as one, forever.

[…]

A rising heat puffed at her face, soft and sudden as a lover’s breath…

[AGOT; Daenerys X]

The interesting thing is that a Daenerys chapter follows this Jon X chapter where he describes Selyse.

Let’s keep reading Jon IX:

If he is not a kinslayer, he is the next best thing. Axell Florent’s brother had been burned by Melisandre, Maester Aemon had informed him, yet Ser Axell had done little and less to stop it. What sort of man can stand by idly and watch his own brother being burned alive?

[ADWD; Jon IX]

another Daenerys hint: Dany-Viserys or Jon killing his kin maybe?

“Salladhor Saan?” “The Lysene pirate? Some say he has returned to his old haunts, this is so. And Lord Redwyne’s war fleet creeps through the Broken Arm as well. On its way home, no doubt. But these men and their ships are well-known to us. No, these other sails … from farther east, perhaps … one hears queer talk of dragons.” “Would that we had one here. A dragon might warm things up a bit.” “My lord jests. You will forgive me if I do not laugh. We Braavosi are descended from those who fled Valyria and the wroth of its dragonlords. We do not jape of dragons.” No, I suppose not. “My apologies, Lord Tycho.”

[ADWD; Jon IX]

Jon is warned against dragons.

D) ADWD; Daenerys IX & Jon XI:

Daenerys IX

Dizzy, Dany closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she glimpsed the Meereenese beneath her through a haze of tears and dust, pouring up the steps and out into the streets. The lash was still in her hand. She flicked it against Drogon’s neck and cried, “Higher!” Her other hand clutched at his scales, her fingers scrabbling for purchase. Drogon’s wide black wings beat the air. Dany could feel the heat of him between her thighs. Her heart felt as if it were about to burst. Yes, she thought, yes, now, now, do it, do it, take me, take me, FLY!

[ADWD; Daenerys IX]

Daenerys rides Drogon for the first time and this looks like an orgasmic experience but don’t let it fool you: people in Meereen are not happy because they are dying etc...

Next chapter is realm’s shield Jon:

Jon XI

Jon clasped the offered hand. The words of his oath rang through his head. I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am the fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn, the horn that wakes the sleepers, the shield that guards the realms of men. And for him a new refrain: I am the guard who opened the gates and let the foe march through. He would have given much and more to know that he was doing the right thing. But he had gone too far to turn back. “Done and done,” he said.

[ADWD; Jon XI]

He remembers his oath about protecting the realm.

He thinks Ghost (his Stark side) is the only protection he needs:

Ghost was the only protection Jon needed; the direwolf could sniff out foes, even those who hid their enmity behind smiles.

[ADWD; Jon XI]

Jon wants to scream that fire obsessed queen is not his queen. And he wants Selyse and Melisandre gone.

[Stannis + Melisandre + Selyse = Daenerys]

Val’s playful smile died. “You have my word, Lord Snow. I will be a proper wildling princess for your queen.” She is not my queen, he might have said. If truth be told, the day of her departure cannot come too fast for me. And if the gods are good, she will take Melisandre with her.

[ADWD; Jon XI]

A northern princess doesn’t bend the knee to fire obsessed queen:

“The queen’s face hardened. “A grievous oversight.” What faint traces of warmth her voice had held vanished all at once. “Free folk do not kneel,” Val told her. “Then they must be knelt,” the queen declared.“Do that, Your Grace, and we will rise again at the first chance,” Val promised. “Rise with blades in hand.”

[ADWD; Jon XI]

Jon remembers his Night’s Watch oath AGAIN:

“I know what I swore.” Jon said the words. “I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am the fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn, the horn that wakes the sleepers, the shield that guards the realms of men. Were those the same words you said when you took your vows?”

[ADWD; Jon XI]

So as we can see Daenerys’ bonding with her dragon doesn’t seem like a good omen for Westeros. But at least we have our shield and warrior: Jon SNOW.

We are done with the chapters that follow each other but I am going to look at Daenerys’ last POV in ADWD too:

BONUS:

ADWD; Daenerys X:

A wolf howls when she thinks about her betrayals and it makes her sad and lonely but not less hungry:

Yet who else could it have been? Reznak, her perfumed seneschal? The Yunkai’i? The Sons of the Harpy? Off in the distance, a wolf howled. The sound made her feel sad and lonely, but no less hungry. As the moon rose above the grasslands, Dany slipped at last into a restless sleep.

[ADWD; Daenerys X]

Ants, which are coming from a WALL, bite Dany:

It turned out that their anthill was on the other side of her wall. She wondered how the ants had managed to climb over it and find her. To them these tumbledown stones must loom as huge as the Wall of Westeros. The biggest wall in all the world, her brother Viserys used to say, as proud as if he’d built it himself.

[ADWD; Daenerys X]

Wolves and crows are not good signs for her:

My flesh will feed the wolves and carrion crows, she thought sadly, and worms will burrow through my womb.

[ADWD; Daenerys X]

She embraces “Fire and Blood”:

No. You are the blood of the dragon. The whispering was growing fainter, as if Ser Jorah were falling farther behind. Dragons plant no trees. Remember that. Remember who you are, what you were made to be. Remember your words. “Fire and Blood,” Daenerys told the swaying grass.

[ADWD; Daenerys X]

In conclusion: Daenerys will be dangerous for Westeros. It seems like Jon and Starks will be against Daenerys at some point and in the end Daenerys will meet her doom because of them..

Thanks for reading...

#this version is shorther and easier to follow.#I cut the Sansa parts because ı already talk about those in other posts so I only gave the sources for Sansa parts.#asoiaf #mine #meta #jon vs daenerys #adwd #jon snow vs daenerys targaryen #dance of the dragons 2.0 #dod 2.0

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dr-nero-is-god · 4 years ago

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i felt the urge to riff on the hive streams for a little bit since discussion came up on the hive discord, namely, holding issue with the idea that the alpha stream is inconsistent in that it is about leadership when otto is the only leader, and that it’s also possible that the alphas are just kids with specialized skills, and not actually bonded by any particular unifying element.

and, in response, @vulpix-sinistre brought up a quote from the abridged hive fanfic, that goes something like: “there are four streams: main characters, stereotypical bullies, ?, and nerds.”

and i disagree with the first two ideas, but almost completely agree with the abridged fic quote. that is pretty much how the streams work, and it is IMPORTANT that that is how the streams work.

in the end, you may conclude that the streams system still doesn’t make sense. you won’t be like “well clearly dr. nero was just logically dividing the labor of his students to reflect a specialized training program” because it’s more complicated on that. i hate to do this to y’all, but a lot of everything streams-related requires an out-of-book explanation to get where you’re going, but i can promise that i will at least try to go

first, let’s think about why h.i.v.e. would have streams at all

on the one hand, it’s inescapable to consider that one primary reason that hive has streams is because harry potter had houses, and for the same reason that percy jackson had cabins, the 39 clues had branches, hunger games had sections (or counties, idk), divergent had factions, and so on and so on. the rise of fandom spaces on the internet was concurrent with a big ya/mg boom in the post-2005 world (after twilight was published), and within those fandom spaces it became important to identify with an aspect of the fantasy world as part of your personality. that became a very marketable thing for a while, and so separating children into streams would, to a publisher, seem like a pretty solid storytelling choice.

however! the alpha stream is not the same as gryffindor house. on the one hand, it seems easy to make an alpha/gryffindor and henchman/slytherin parallel, because one group is good (relatively) and one is bad (or at least antagonistic). but it doesn’t work because while slytherin has a reputation for constituents of poor moral character (which has been largely revised in fanon), being a henchman is where you go, according to the books, if you are unintelligent and burly. it’s not a really sexy stream, is what i’m trying to say. and though there are undoubtedly some readers who would look at the henchman stream and see themselves, i think the majority of readers would likely find the henchman stream a completely undesirable stream to be in.

and, given how little importance the role of streams have after the first book, i will go out on a limb and say that mark walden knows that the henchman stream is unsexy. we aren’t interested in the hopes and dreams and motivations of the henchman stream; as we learn in book two, the ideal henchman is weak-minded and easily led—so what dreams would they even have? this leads me to conclude that while mark walden might have sold h.i.v.e. on the “there are personality-based groups in the school!” idea, he had something completely else in mind when he started writing and that, I think, is actually far more interesting.

but really, why would h.i.v.e. have streams at all

a few things about mark walden: 1) he studied english lit in school, 2) he has a background as a video game producers, and 3) he likes james bond. i know the first two things because i have read his bio and i know the third thing because i have read his books in conjunction with seeing all the james bond films. so we will call 1-3 facts.

if you are wondering what a lit degree, video game production, and the james bond franchise all have in common, then let me connect those dots: all three of those things depend heavily on the study and understanding of repetitive structure in storytelling as an interpreter and creator of meaning. each one of these fields requires an understanding of how stories and words work to create meaning in order to be successful.

and, to quote mr. walden here directly (sourced from this here link):

“So, I was playing with this cat one day and it got me thinking that those old-school Bond villains always just seemed to appear out of thin air with very little back story and that got me thinking about how they became world- conquering megalomaniacs in the first place. It was only a short mental walk from there to HIVE.”

so, imagine you’re a writer trying to tell a story about a school for villains like those in james bond—you’ve studied storycraft and you have a lot of experience in a job finding believable and compelling obstacles for people to interact with in video games. you have noticed patterns. and you need to make those patterns work for you.

enter: streams

i have watched all the james bond movies (all of ‘em) (i mean it) (just not the unreleased one yet lol) and you know what?

there’s probably just about four kinds of villains in those movies.

henchmen include the likes of jaws, oddjob, and tee hee. often physically disabled in a cinematically interesting way, these guys are the muscles and the machines in every bond film. they are the ones who tail bond as he takes long train rides and who try to personally throw him into shark tanks. they are the hands and feet of their evil masters and they don’t have a lot of emotional depth or backstory.

politicians/financiers abound in the james bond franchise because he is a government employee who often hangs out with other government employees (he has no friends). these people are like colonel rosa klebb, georgi koskov, prince kamal khan. there are a lot more, as a matter of fact, because the whole point of james bond is that they are in the cold war and even people without titles have political and financial motivations for screwing around with stuff. these types of villains depend on being well and truly embedded in an existing infrastructure or hierarchy, somebody who worked their way up from being a foot soldier or clerk into a powerful leadership position that gives them a lot of state-sanctioned trust and authority.

technicians and inventors include folks like henry gupta and boris grishenko, who use technology as their primary weapon. they are often inventors or innovators and are really good at making high-tech stuff. however, i think this stream is also a direct result of the character Q, someone who is actually on James Bond’s team and who runs an entire department of people who test sometimes outlandish gadgets for Bond to use in the field. (but we love the gadgets. they are fun.) in other words, Bond arguably has a technical stream at his disposal in MI6, which means the idea isn’t necessarily evil, but, likewise, our James Bond School also needs Qs. it’s the rules. if you are familiar with Q from James Bond at all then you understand

and that leaves us with alphas... the “supervillains.” these are the famous ones. dr. no. mr. big. scaramanga. le chiffre. blofeld. max zorin. emilio largo. goldfinger. these are the ones with the master plan, the dreams to recreate the world as they see it, the passion to see their desires to fulfillment and the resources to make them happen. they are rich. they are fancy. they are larger than life. is it weird that karl stromberg tries to incite a nuclear war between Britain and the USSR so that a lot of people can die so that he can colonize the ocean? yes. but by god, it’s fancy and dramatic, and that’s what counts.

are there other kinds of villains? oh, definitely. lots more. but you have to understand, that those kinds of villains generally don’t appear in Bond. sometimes! but it’s not a staple. for example, not many people in the bond films are motivated by revenge because each movie is kind of designed to function as a one-shot. villains don’t come back and so there is no revenge. the villain who gets the most notable reprise, jaws, actually ends up finding his true love in space.

compare: every movie is going to have henchmen. every movie has government stooges making morally questionable decisions. (almost) every movie has Q, or some gadget stuff going on. and every movie has a big bad that has to be better than the last.

so that explains why the streams are what they are.

it was a jumping-off point for mark walden to figure out what this universe might look like and how different character types need to function. consider that while the core four are all alphas and are kind of insulated as a group, the teachers all kind of roughly align with one of these groups. colonel francisco, raven, and chief lewis are henchmen types, doing on-the-ground work to get stuff done. ms. tennenbaum and the contessa are political af, they are all about the corruption and infiltrating institutional power. ms. gonzales, ms. leon, and professor pike all have technical skills that help keep an organization moving forward. and over them all is the singular alpha, dr. nero, who is coordinating and monitoring it all for his own evil plan: to run a high school.

honestly, dr. nero’s hive idea operates just like a james bond villain plot! it works, or it does when pitching the idea. the problem is that the books continued after the pitch did, and with worldbuilding came some complications. namely, the fact that the megastructure of james bond villainy does not replicate well into a small friend group on which the narration focuses. so let’s return to the question presented at the beginning:

how can alphas really be alphas when not everyone on the field trip can be a mastermind?

i’m gonna give this to you in two ways. one, the way i personally interpret it as an in-universe explanation, given the background premises we have already established. and the other, why the stream system kind of ruins the structure it sets out to create.

so, for me, the alphas can be alphas because there is more to villainy than being a mastermind and there is more to being a mastermind than being in charge. as i think about it, this novelization is actually the backstory for every one of the students, who will go on to do great and scary things. they will manage big projects and come up with interesting ways to terrorize the British government, because that is what James Bond villains do (and James Bond does canonically exist in their universe). much like your actual teenage years, this is not the main event.

as students, the core four need to learn to do a little bit of everything. you gotta learn some lock-picking, that’s essential. everyone has to be able to climb a rock wall. it’s the rules. and everyone needs to be able to do some programming. that’s just the way school is. though everyone has a different personality and a different way of looking at the world, their education has to cover the basics because the fact of the matter is, none of them are villains yet. will they become one? that remains to be seen. but they are being given the tools to become the greatest villains if that is something they choose.

the main problem that remains when holding this attitude is that the specialized skills of otto and his friends might be better suited to other streams, in which case, what is an alpha anyways?

here’s the facts: if everyone were assigned to a stream by talent, then there wouldn’t be an alpha stream.

franz? political/financial stream.

nigel? laura? otto? technical stream.

shelby? wing? henchman stream.

you can debate me on the specifics of those assignments, but the point is this: all the other streams are based on hard skills. franz can manage a ledger and that is a financial skill. laura can build a computer from scratch and that is a technical skill. wing can do martial arts, and each martial art is a physical skill that can be taught and performed in a measurable level of proficiency.

the idea of being a “mastermind” is a much softer skill—which is to say, there’s no one recipe that will make it work. my manager at work has coached me by saying that leadership is often about having a “style,” and working at it that way. leadership requires interpersonal flexibility, being able to stay organized and to make important decisions rapidly, it is about being able to prioritize and delegate. and it’s very much open to interpretation, every day, all the time.

let me tell you something else about james bond: there is a lot of classism, racism, and sexism embedded into every aspect of those films, but that goes for double when it comes to the villains in the show. to vastly oversimplify that very concept, it shows up in the bond films like this: henchmen are working class folks, the villainous equivalent of “the help,” and the supervillains are (usually) rich and glamorous and powerful. henchmen are uneducated (read as: stupid) and ugly and poor. no one cares if they die. (there’s more complexities, as always, but this essay isn’t actually about james bond so we’ll fast forward through My Opinions to the end)

the problem with replicating james bond in your villain school universe is that some of the biases of the james bond universe get replicated in there, too. poor and uneducated folks get turned into disposable henchmen whose lives are irrelevant. people who are educated and talented get fast-tracked to a more glamorous and interesting stream that will catapult them to the top of the ladder as soon as they graduate. if you look at the dialect with which block and tackle are written, they are clearly meant to be seen as a different social class than otto, despite the fact that otto is coming from basically nothing. and we understand that when otto graduates, he will be able to do basically anything that he wants to at all.

so, if you’re asking why wing has a role in the alpha stream when he doesn’t seem as leader-y as otto, there’s a simple answer: because dr. nero believes that wing can be more.

the climax of book one is dr. nero explicitly telling otto, wing, laura, and shelby that they are in his school because he believes in them and he wants to see them grow. they are given an elite status other students do not have despite the fact that they have just literally tried to escape. as we see in the case of duncan cavendish, the main way to get on that highway to a guaranteed career is to convince him that you’ve “got it.” for those who are not believed in, there is no way to make up for the special grooming. you’re stuck with the stream you’re placed in, doomed (perhaps) to be a second-in-command at best.

is all this intentional? probably not. but it is implicit in the structure of the story and, alas, that’s the way it is.

all i can think to say in conclusion is that while the stream system tends to replicate some of the unfair and classist realities present in other media and the world we live in, i think part of the reason we read h.i.v.e. is because the alpha stream is so appealing. imagine! you are competent and you have a desirable, specialized skill as well as a proficiency in many general skills and you are certain you are going to do good things—and all because someone believes in you. to receive someone else’s support and confidence can be life-changing. the magic of h.i.v.e. is that yes—lives are changed and ordinary, boring people were elevated to the level of supervillains. we are only left to wonder, are they the only people who deserved that honor?

#meta #spoilers #streams #alpha #henchman #political/financial #technical stream #technical #james bond #hive #h.i.v.e.#higher institute of villainous education #the higher institute of villainous education #otto malpense #max nero #streams post #musings

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dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram · 3 years ago

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Hi Ralph! I’ve been thinking a lot lately about Harry, and the way he interacts with the world. There was the guardian interview and his weird statement about dilution (which I agree with your thoughts on so I won’t harp on about here). In the vein of weird interview comments Harry has made in interviews, one I also think about a lot came out in 2017-ish after Miley Cyrus came out. I can’t remember the exact quote, but I do remember the interviewer asked him, basically, what he thought of Miley’s coming out, and if he felt like he as a person in the public eye had any duty to publicly declare his sexuality too, knowing what it would mean to a lot of his fans who are struggling with their own sexualities, and Harry said “I think that’s a weird thing to expect of someone else, and everyone should just be who they want to be.” I don’t necessarily disagree with the content of his comment - you don’t owe anything to anybody when it comes to your sexuality - but I feel a little weird about the message behind the comment which I took to be “just let me sing and make music and stop asking me for anything else.” I think a large part of the reason I extrapolated that from his comment (and I do realize I was reading into it) has been his general reluctance over the years to get involved with any sort of political movement. The only two real exception I can think of are (1) LGBTQ rights kind of, although to be honest some of this seems performative to me, and (2) his weird and sort of short lived foray into BLM with the march he joined and his Instagram post. That, combined with his decision to move forward with his tour and the general outrage and feeling that Harry is “disconnected” from his fans, that he is “money hungry” that he is “using his fans” etc. has had me thinking. I disagree with the discourse vilifying Harry for his tour decision, and I think a lot of it is that people are angry and scared and frustrated (for valid reasons) but they are equating their rightful feelings of frustration with the situation to mean Harry failed them on a personal level, which I don’t think is true or fair. But I do think Harry is a celebrity who seems generally out of touch with what the rest of the world goes through, and worse he doesn’t actually seem to care. I feel like he withdrew so much after 1D days, and in general I do applaud that decision - I imagine he was dealing with a lot of trauma, and a retreat to as much of a private life as he could manage was probably well called for to protect his mental health. But his withdrawal has continued, and we only really see him when he has something to promote. We don’t get anything at all from him expect his music and now his movies. I don’t want this to come across as me yelling “Harry tell me about your personal life!!!” Because it’s not. I believe he should have complete privacy in that realm, if that’s what he wants. But to me, Harry cutting so much of himself off from the world has made him feel incredibly shallow and disconnected from his fan base, except when he has something to sell. And I do wholeheartedly think when you’re in the position of massive privilege that Harry is, you have a duty to be a well educated, well informed, active participant in your communities, and to throw your weight around for good. On the one hand, I do want to give him the benefit of the doubt. He came into this life he has now at 16, after leading a childhood that seemed to be fairly untouched by any real hardships. He has lived a life that is largely insulated from the way the rest of the world lives. On the other hand, he has the ability to educate himself, and not having those lived experiences personally doesn’t, I think, excuse him from learning about them and working to help who and where he can. I don’t think I really have a question here, I guess I’m just interested in your thoughts. I value your input, and your answers always push me to think about things in ways I hadn’t before. This has been taking up a lot of my mental space, and I’m curious if you’ve thought about it any.

Oh anon - there's a lot here and I'll try to untangle some of my reactions.

First of all - leaving outside the politics of all of this - I think there is part of Harry, both artistically and how he presents himself as a celebrity, which is very good at suggesting things, and leaving space for possibilities. And I think, at least at this stage, there isn't necessarily a solid core in there if you push. And that's OK, it has a lot of value artistically - blank space is pretty core to any design. But by the same token, it's OK if you want more. If you're dissatisfied with Harry you don't need to be fair for him - you can just think 'I want something you're not offering at the moment'.

But obviously I'm me so I can't leave the politics aside for long. I want to start with the interview - because context is important - that interview was Dan Wotton and the fucking Sun. Here is what was printed, which I think is a little different from what you remembered:

I ask Harry about sexuality in pop, a topic in the headlines after MILEY CYRUS spoke openly about her pansexuality. What’s his take?

He says: “Being in a creative field, it’s important to be progressive. People doing stuff like that is great.

“It’s weird for me — everyone should just be who they want to be. It’s tough to justify somebody having to answer to someone else about stuff like that.”

So has Harry personally labelled his sexuality?

He replies: “No, I’ve never felt the need to really. No.”

Would he like to elaborate? “I don’t feel like it’s something I’ve ever felt like I have to explain about myself.”

I want to be clear that everything Dan Wotton was doing here was wrong, from existing to obviously trying to push Harry out. And while Harry was also wrong to be doing an interview with the Sun, he did a really good job of not saying anything he didn't want to say in difficult circumstances.

I want to make it absolutely clear that I'm with Harry. It is tough to justify somebody having to answer to other people about their sexuality. I mean particularly when that person is Dan Wotton working for the fucking Sun.

But in general I don't think there's anything wrong with Harry saying implicitly and explicitly 'Just let me sing and don't ask me for anything else'. More than that I reject the whole premise. In the questions you imagined Dan Wotton asking, you set up the idea that the only way a queer artists could speak to queer fans is by coming out. And I think it's important to push back at that at every opportunity. I've said it before, but that I identify more with Louis reciting the women he's pretending to be attracted to by rote, much more than I ever have with anyone waving a rainbow flag. I reject every part of the premise of 'you coming out would mean a lot to people and somehow that is your problem'.

Throughout what you've written me, you emphasise a belief that celebrities should be active politically - and I really want to push back and ask why? What good does that expectation do you or the world? I think the last thing this world needs is more commentary from people with large microphones and without knowledge or a perspective. The world isn't made better if celebrities feel oblige to talk about politics. And your experience

You seem to think of politics like charity - as something you do for other people out of a sense of obligation. I would argue that very little useful politics has ever been done under that model. Instead I would argue a model of politics based on solidarity: 'If you have come here to help me you are wasting your time, but if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.' (Aboriginal Activist, 1970s).

I think this is what makes the English football team so powerful. Marcus Rashford is fighting for school lunches, because he knows what it's like to be hungry. They're taking the knee, because they have experienced racism, or are expressing solidarity with teammates who have experienced racism. I think Jordan Henderson believes that his world and life would be better if queer fans could be themselves at a football match.

Harry has said in so many ways that he hasn't figured out to relate politically, and he doesn't have anything more to say. That might change, but in the meantime, believe him.

Last off I want to point that you seem to be drawing a parallel between him being disconnected with his fans and not interacting politically and I don't think there is any connection at all. You said:

But to me, Harry cutting so much of himself off from the world has made him feel incredibly shallow and disconnected from his fan base, except when he has something to sell. And I do wholeheartedly think when you’re in the position of massive privilege that Harry is, you have a duty to be a well educated, well informed, active participant in your communities, and to throw your weight around for good.

There is no connection between these two points - none. I also don't think there's anything wrong with being cut off from your fan base, or silent on politics. But they're also independent (I mean look at Shawn Mendes at the period of his career when he wouldn't turn anyone down a selfie. He wasn't at all active in politics then).

I don't think there's anything wrong with valuing an artist being out, politically active, or connected with their fan base. But there are plenty of artists who are out (Lil Nas X, Olly Alexander, and I'll give a shout out to Grace Petrie) and there are plenty of artists who are politically active (Jade Thirwell, Dua Lipa, Stormzy). I'm sure there are also lots of artists who connect with their fan base (although I don't track that personally). If that's what you want, find artists that meet those needs. Rather than choosing an artists who offers something else entirely and having expectations they will never meet.

#I do hate it when I have to think about the exact wording of that Sun interview #it's so much faff to get the text without giving them any clicks #JFT96 #and I promise you that fandom boundaries will make your life better

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fizzingwizard · 4 years ago

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OK gang here we go, episode 33!

It was better than last week, which was better than the week before, so... make of that what you will.

Pic of the week!

A look of steely Dan determination.

More below!

Like I said, this episode is an improvement on the last one, by virtue of plot stuff actually happening, a few big happenings, and references to the other kids that suggest they haven’t been completely forgotten about (only mostly). Don’t get excited though - it still leaves much to be desired. I cry endlessly for the animation budget. But let’s get into it...

Taichi and friends are still in pursuit of SkullKnightmon and Hikari. We found our for sure last week that the creature in the little crystal is, indeed, Millenniumon, or rather a fragment of him, and his fragments fell all around the Digital World at the end of the great war or whatever it’s called and they’re the source of the miasma and they absorb energy from the human world etc etc...

So we find this big ass crystal which seems to be the central one, I guess? because it’s the biggest? and several creepy looking acolytes (dun dun DUN it’s VADEMON my FAVORITE DIGIMON) surrounding it and chanting...

Vademon: Find the horcux, kill Harry Potter, find the horcrux, kill Harry Potter,

In other news, there’s a lot of doom and gloom happening with Jou, who, bereft of his underwear, is forced to censor himself with his partners head. Gomamon you don’t deserve this

Jou: I need to get away from these Nanimon before I go prematurely bald too!!

Mimi, meanwhile, is Boxing Champion of the World.

Koushirou is the only one working. He’s on his way to pick up Jou, so I guess that means Yamato will get Mimi? That’ll be fun lol. We saw Yamato for half a second but it was the same frame of him riding Garurumon we’ve seen five times already so why bother capping it.

Koushirou is also keeping an eye on the satellite situation but doesn’t know what to do about it yet. Kabuterimon asks if he shouldn’t take a break about now and Koushirou says “I’m okay, besides, this is the only thing I’m good for” T___T you know this would be heart-breaking if I really believed the writers have ACTUAL PLANS to make good on Koushirou-related character development.... >:[

no this honestly pisses me off so much but I STILL do believe we will get SOMETHING for him and the others and probably not too far in the future... I think... I hope ugh

Back to Team A, they see lots of Digimon coming at them. Taichi’s like “it’s an attack!” but Sora, whose Fight Mode unlike Taichi’s has an actual Off switch, is about to figure out that they are in fact not interested in the kids at all and are running away from something.

Taichi: I can’t believe they didn’t want to kill us. Doesn’t everything in this world want to kill us?

The Digimon are fleeing from a suspicious crater with a familiar stone in the center. SkullKnightmon raises his own crystal fragment into the air and stuff happens.

By stuff I mean black lightning and purple-blue light which is meant to signify Evil which is mega DUMB because blue and purple are the most awesome color combo EVER I mean it throw some turquoise in there too and I will buy it whatever it is a necklace a shawl a codpiece

There are eight crystals that rise from the ground surrounding the central crystal and share energy with it. I thought the number eight might be significant you know for obvious reasons but it doesn’t appear to matter in this episode.

Evil crystals or not, Taichi’s on his way to save Hikari once and for all!

Hikari: Thanks, but no thanks, oniichan.

Taichi: H-Hikari! You don’t understand! You’re too young to go off with a strange man!

Hikari: But oniichan I love him

Taichi: Who do you think I am, Tevye!? You’re not marrying him and that’s final!

Hikari: waaah why don’t you understand me!!

ok back to the story...

Hikari abandons her brother for his muscular studly lover SkullKnightmon.

... >_>

Using Hikari’s powers, SkullKnightmon evolves to Gundamon DarkKnightmon. Meanwhile there’s lots of chanting and stuff about this being SkullKnightmon’s purpose or some such. I still kinda hope we get a redemption arc for SkullKnightmon or that he has something more to do with the story...

Agumon stops Taichi from wigging out and they go to save Hikari together, but before they can they are beset from all angles by henchmen.

Sora: Hey, you take care of Tweedle Dee and I’ll get Tweedle Dum!

Birdramon: *gets punched in the head* I hope you brought enough aspirin...

Then these guys appear. I’ve forgotten their names but evil as they look they literally just stand there till they get blown up and then more appear... I guess that’s a kind of talent

Takeru: Leave the small fry to me!

Pegasusmon: Takeru when I said I wanted a Happy Meal this isn’t what I meant

Hikari begins to be absorbed into a dark pocket dimension of DarkKnightmon’s or something like that. It seems like a very chill experience.

Taichi: I’ll save you! Take my hand!

Hikari: O... nii... chan... Fuck you...

ok so here’s my problem here.

This is meant to be all emotional and stuff right?? Hikari’s been blowing off her brother for an unknown reason (we all figured out what it was but look the main characters don’t know and that’s what counts) and he’s finally managed to catch up with her. His hand is inches away from catching hers and pulling her to safety. She’s got creepy glowing eyes. She mouths “o..nii...chan...” with a creepy smile before being pulled into darkness.

I know it’s for kids so it’s not going to be too scary or anything but there ‘just like... no build up here. The storytelling style is too mathematical. “We go from Plot Point A to Plot Boint B via Battles 1 2 and 3...” There’s nothing happening in between to make us feel Taichi’s desperation, or even to know what Hikari’s feeling in this moment. Is she really okay with this? Is she having second thoughts? It doesn’t make any sense for her not to be scared. I fully expected her to go through with it, but she can be scared and still go through with it... come on...

It’s like that scene from Utena except sapped of any and all emotional impact.

I don’t really remember how Greymon got up there in the first place since he can’t fly but at least we get a scene of him and Taichi plummeting to the earth after failing to save Hikari. The kind of thing that would be dramatic if there were any kind of animation budget at all.

The one thing the show is sure to do is show us Taichi’s expressions, which I guess is something... It’s just so rushed and the accompanying dialogue leaves something to be desired.

Greymon: Don’t give up, Taichi... Taichi... um. what are you doing...

Taichi: stop hitting yourself stop hitting yourself stop hitting yourself stop hitting yourself

Anyway, Taichi is Big Mad. I thought (hoped, to be honest) that we might get a glimpse of him going wild with dark energy like in the Devimon episode again... Or at least a hint that that was a possibility in the heat of the moment before Agumon snapped him out of it. But nope.

He takes a moment to be upset and then says “There’s no time to worry about what to do” and goes to save Hikari... from inside DarkKnightmon somehow :P

This does not go well.

Meanwhile Hikari is surprisingly okay for someone who was just eaten alive by sentient VantaBlack. She discovers a peculiar light inside... DarkKnightmon’s intestine??? Is that where we are now??? lmao

She recognizes the light as the voice that has been calling her and tries to head towards it, but is blocked by some purple jello.

There’s a kind of cool thing that happens here... We just had a scene where Taichi desperately tries to grab his sister’s hand and yank her out of the clutches of evil, but fails, mostly because she doesn’t do anything to help him since she is weirdly okay with the situation. Now we get a mirror of that moment with Hikari bursting out of the jello with her arm outstretched to grab what is clearly Tailmon’s paw.

Only Tailmon does take Hikari’s hand.

It was really cool to see the brother and sister paralleling each other this much. It shows the ways they’re both courageous and determined and caring.

Meanwhile Taichi finally whips out WarGreymon. Honestly, I feel like this should have been WarGreymon’s intro episode. This would have been a good time for a new evolution, rather than in a fight with a nobody that I’ve already forgotten. Idk. WarGreymon uses Brave Tornado to knock DarkKnightmon’s lances away and burrow into his armor. So, yeah, Hikari’s in his intestines, lmao.

Hikari is being chased by a two-headed monster who is in for the migraine of its (their?) life when the tornado crashes into it.

Hikari: Big brother! You look so cool!

Taichi: Promise me that no matter how many men come into your life, I’ll always be number one.

Hikari: okay that is creepy

WarGreymon explodes DarkKnightmon from the inside out x’D and Taichi gets a redo of his hand-reaching scene. First he berates Hikari for running off on her own and then smiles.

Hikari says she always believed he’d rescue her. Aww.

Sweet sibling love.

Then there’s this really hilarious sound which turns out to be the Vademon hivemind giving a collective cry of distress x’D it’s lmfao amazing. Then they start chanting “Next time next time next time” just in case you thought Millennium was defeated and we can go home now.

Taichi: Sora, do you know where I can buy a leash for this kid? I can’t keep chasing her like this. Aren’t kids today supposed to be glued to their phones and never go outside?

Patamon’s Girlfriend Radar piques at the bundle in Hikari’s arms.

And it is indeed Tailmon, and she’s been waiting for Hikari all this time.

Tailmon: I am Tailmon, a Holy Digimon.

Patamon: oh my god you can’t just call yourself holy ugh you’re so self-centered

D’awww.

They’re both sooooo cute. I’m annoyed they didn’t get a cool ending card like Takeru and Patamon did last week though. But still, this is a sweet moment.

So, there’s not a lot to complain about in this episode, comparatively speaking. I wish we had more dialogue and understood the value of a dramatic pause etc. Also wish Sora and Takeru had more to do than fight the henchmen. Like, if you can just erase an entire part of an episode and it still works fine, you clearly didn’t need that part so why waste time on it.

But at least we do get reactions from Taichi, and at least we got plot development. The Taichi/Hikari parallels were cool. And even though I had other hopes for how this arc would turn out, I’m glad it’s over because maybe we can finally do some other stuff now. Maybe. I want to get back to Koushirou SOOO bad but more than anything I am still gobsmacked by how long it’s been since Yamato’s had anything to do but ride on Garurumon. That is WEIRD. He’s YAMATO.

Next week...

... Looks like it’ll be a light-hearted undersea episode. I’m cool with that. The preview clips had a “Sebastian’s Calypso” vibe that I dig. It’s still about Taichi’s group but I think that’s to do more actual face time with Tailmon and Hikari. I hope we see the others as well and if not maybe the week after. I will be happy if this episode has some personality to it.

#fizz watches digimon 2020 #digimon adventure 2020 #digimon adventure:#digimon adventure reboot #digi spoilers #digimon

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