#i am Ignoring season six sue she doesn’t count

[blossoms-and-possums]

THANK YOU FOR THE PERMISSION AHAHHAA I WILL I WILL GO INTO HEAVY DETAIL

in this essay i will explore how in a marauders x glee au, sue sylvester would be professor mcgonagall :)

both sue and mcgonagall are sharp-tongued, strong willed, passionate characters. i propose that mcgonagall and sue are the same character in (very) different fonts.

okay, so, the first time we are introduced to sue sylvester in glee, she is coaching the cheerios (‘you think this is hard? try being water boarded, that’s hard. you’re sloppy! sloppy babies!’). sue loves her cheerios. they are her whole life. she gets them to nationals i think 5 consecutive years in a row. she wants the cheerios to win.

now. who is another teacher who is deeply passionate for a school sport’s team, to the extent that she’s willing to waive a centuries’ old rule to allow an eleven year old boy to join the team because he’s good enough to help her team win? mcgonagall. look me in the eye and tell me that that is not something sue sylvester would do. you can’t. mcgonagall watches every game, she was on the quidditch team herself back in her school years, and she enables lee jordan’s commentary, despite its vulgarity. she wants gryffindor to win.

something else to note is that sue does not initially hate will sch*e or the glee club. like. at all. the only reason she interferes at first is because the glee club threatens her cheerios budget. that is, sue interferes when she is directly involved. sue then, after this threat, takes a disliking to wills and begins insulting him. (‘oh hey will, i thought i smelled failure’)

in the order of the phoenix, mcgonagall begins to have a (noticeable) disliking for umbridge when she sits in mcgonagall’s class and threatens her teaching credibility (and is thus directly involved). so she then insults umbridge (smth smth harry’s grades in dada have been good when taught by a ‘competent teacher’) and responds to harry yelling at umbridge with positive reinforcement (‘have a biscuit, potter’).

the comparison above demonstrates that sue and mcgonagall need a catalyst to spark their dislike of someone, and their catalysts and consequent actions are very similar.

there are definitely parallels between sue and mcgonagall. does mcgonagall go around pushing students down the stairs or destroying offices when she doesn’t get her way? not that we’ve seen. but she does, occasionally, offer sound advice. and so does sue! in her own way!

there’s that moment in season one with kurt, where he’s having an identity crisis, and in her own sue sylvester way, she almost gives good advice: ‘that’s the problem with your generation, you’re obsessed with labels. so you like show tunes! that doesn’t make you gay. it just means you’re awful. you know, there’s only one person in this world who can tell you what you are.’ ‘me.’ ‘no. me. sue sylvester.’ and up until the last bit, sue has a point!

and if you’re looking for a more serious argument about sue, may i direct your attention to the grilled cheesus episode. here, kurt’s, one of the glee kids, dad has a heart attack. kurt is atheist and asked the glee club to respect his beliefs and not pray for him and his dad through religious music in front of him. you’ll never guess what the glee club do (they disrespect kurt’s wishes repeatedly and even go into kurt’s dad’s hospital room to pray without asking kurt but i digress). and the teacher that gave kurt the opportunity to complain to the school faculty for the glee club imposing religion in a nondenominational school was sue. sue is showing kurt a duty of care where mr sch*e, emma pillsbury, and principal figgins, fail.

yes, sue saw it as an opportunity to attack the glee club, but she also has a poignant scene where she discusses her own relationship with faith. when talking to emma pillsbury, who attacks sue for getting kurt to complain about the unasked for religiousness, it’s sue that points out emma’s, and the glee kids’ hypocrisy.

sue: asking someone to believe in a fantasy, however comforting, isn’t a moral thing to do. it’s cruel

emma: if that’s what you believe then fine. just don’t go around (something along the lines of pushing it down other peoples throats)

sue: as long as you do the same. that boy could lose his father at any moment.

the glee kids make comments about kurt’s lack of faith & disrespect his lack of faith, and then get frustrated and upset when kurt asks them to stop praying at him. mercedes even asks kurt to go to her church with her. like. ???? (this episode is wild i urge you to watch it right now)

my point is, is this is the kind of behaviour we can expect to see from mcgonagall. in goblet of fire, she’s protective of harry and is one of the only people who don’t want to let him compete. ‘potter is a boy, not a piece of meat!’ it’s mcgonagall that helps harry get to dumbledore’s office when he has a nightmare about arthur weasley in ootp. it’s mcgonagall showing a duty of care where every other teacher fails.

also i feel like if mcgonagall were to wear muggle clothes it would be an adidas tracksuit

anyway that’s my thesis thank u

If there were to exist a Glee x Marauders AU... who would be Sue???

[spaceorphan18]

SO’S GLEE EPISODE RANKING: NO. 51

I started a Full Glee Episode Ranking between seasons 5 and 6 over two years ago now (!!!). My opinions have changed somewhat since then (retrospect is an interesting thing), and I need to include the thirteen season six episodes I neglected in my original list.  With the two year anniversary of the show being over a few months away, I thought I’d count down to by posting an episode every day.  I’ll tag using: glee episode rankings

Here we go…

51. The End of Twerk (5x05)

Written by: Michael Hitchcock Directed by: Wendey Stanzler

Hey, the one about twerking.  I still think the title should be ‘The End of Twerking’ cause that’s grammatically correct, but oh Glee and your titles.  Anyway, this episode makes a few bad decisions - Blurred Lines? Really?  But is mostly good!  

Sue decides to ban twerking.  Will tries to fight back.  Sue goes after Unique - using her as a pressure point on Will, Will whines for a while before realizing Unique’s rights probably should come before Will’s questionable choice of dance moves.  It’s a little messy, and too much Will v Sue involved, but Unique gets a very poignant story line here, and one that’s worth watching.  

Meanwhile, there’s some Jarley/Bree stuff going on.  It’s really not my favorite, but a bit minimal, and I can most ignore it.  

Meanwhile still, my favorite part of the episode is the NYC stuff, where both Rachel and Kurt are still coping with the loss of Finn, and trying to break out of their shell.  It’s not only a fun plot - Hummelberry are the most ridiculous of rebels - but I kind of love that the show just doesn’t ignore the real life consequences of death and the effect of grief.  Plus - Kurt gets a tattoo.  

High Points:

Blaine twerking - oh goodness. 

The whole Unique bathroom sequence. 

Hummelberry as awful rebels.  

Why don’t you show some skin there, Kurt? ;) 

The story surrounding Unique is very well done - and for once, even if it takes him a while to get there, Will makes a good decision regarding one of his students. 

The history of dance. 

It’s got Bette Midler!!! 

Rachel’s private moment where she looks at her Finn tattoo.  I mean, y’all know how I feel about Finchel - and this still gave me all the feels. 

Low Points:

Will using Blaine’s humiliation as a teaching point. 

I have no issues with twerking.  I do have issue that Will would force his students to do it when they’re not comfortable.  And also - Sue hits the nail on the head when she tells him how inappropriate it is to twerk with minors while singing Blurred Lines.  I mean, c’mon Will. 

Jarley drama.  I’m sorry - but I don’t really care. 

I miss Blaine in this episode.  Also - while there are some nice nods to Klaine on the NYC side - what I wouldn’t have given to see Kurt watch that twerking video, or Blaine see Kurt’s tattoo.  

Music:

You Are Woman, I Am Man: Why are they not practicing this on a stage? Idk.  Look - by now I feel like I’m a broken record.  Rachel (Lea) slays Broadway numbers - and the push/pull of this song works.  But man, I don’t like this song.  

Blurred Lines: No Glee. No. 

If I Were a Boy: Unique sounds fantastic here! Just the amount of real emotion packed in here is crazy.  A wonderful solo for her. 

Wrecking Ball: I’m not sure if it’s the song, or if it’s the fact it’s after Unique’s display of pure emotion, but there’s something about this that feels a little hollow.  And I enjoy Marley singing! But it just lacks some emotional depth.  Granted - it is perfect, though, for a teenage girl singing about her relationship. 

On Our Way: Oh, I love this group number! It’s so much fun, and everyone is adorable during it.  

Final Verdict: It’s a pretty good and solid episode.  Yeah, it’s got some weaker points (Will!) and not enough Klaine to push it higher on the list, but I think Blurred Lines gives it a bad rap, when there’s a lot in this one to enjoy.