#but oh my fucking god the amount of people who say this

[axasfxy]

aww, they both died seeing their crushes that never liked them back #couplegoals 💕💕

They really died on the same day huh

[unethicalexperiments]

is it me or is everyone on this website so fucking miserable about everything these days. about every show every movie every book every musician/band every post regarding social issues every art piece. actually not even just on this website on all social media type platforms. the sheer amount of posts/youtube videos i see titled “x is bad and here’s why”. y’all talk about people/problems that have never even remotely crossed my mind as a possibility of existing like it’s plaguing the earth as we speak. things that people act like are major problems in [x fandom] or whatever that i’ve straight up just never seen before. in circles i’m active in. not even in a “let people enjoy things!!!” type of way. just why are you so hung up on something minor clearly making you so upset. i’m a guy who loves to fight but like why are we fighting when it’s not even fun for either of us. and you know what i’m probably guilty of this too at this point but jesus christ. whatever. can we all just sit outside in the park and smoke a blunt and chill out like we used to.

[carcarrot]

i guess im being offered the job lol

[l-cereta]

oh my god u know the hrt is working when u get genuinely white girl drunk

[deathxproof]

hm, out of all of the things I was expecting when I slowly started putting myself back in fandom spaces, “unresolved trauma from being an autistic kid/teen who was always perceived as Too Much” wasn’t on the list, to be quite honest.

[didnt-hear-cold-as-you-live]

.

[pepprs]

not to be a pain-crazed wild animal. i KNOW i do this every time. but p*riods are so fucking crazy. like my cr*mps are so bad my body is trying to strangle itself but im awake and i need to be at work in 2 hrs and get thru an entire 9 hr workday as if im not in excruciating pain and im gonna bring my heating pad and my p*in r*lief cr*am if you catch my drift (💀) and i’ll need to use them DURING a busy day in which i will not see any other ppl who get periods in person and using them is gonna be a whole awkward thing. like omg. this is not fucking normal lol

[iniquity-fr]

look i’ve done plenty of bitching and whining myself about the ancient gene bloat and how long it’s taking them to implement solutions to handle that (and complaining about them continuing to add ancients/ancient genes in the meantime bc i hate the damn things anyway lol)

but it is getting so exhausting watching people flip their fucking lids about how “site activities were fine we didn’t need THIS part updated, why did they do this part first, why didn’t they address the MP first, staff won’t fix the parts that actually need fixing omg!!!!!!” they are getting to it. further updates are coming. they have repeatedly told us there will be further updates to deal with the gene bloat, this one new exchange shop is not in any way the end of it. how many times does staff have to say other parts of the site will be fixed before people stop acting like they don’t care and won’t fix anything.

yes it’s taking them an agonizingly slow time that they’ve just been making worse in the meantime but good lord the amount of people acting like they’re just outright refusing to deal with the gene bloat at all is absurd. like why even pitch such a fit about the site activity genes getting a new system first as if staff can go back in time to cater to your desires instead?

and it’s like almost always people claiming gene bloat is at its worse in the MP despite the fact that the MP has filters already and the problem is… honestly barely a real problem there at all. can you please figure out how the site works and what the actual issues are before whining. thanks

[stonesandswords]

.

[ravenswritingroom]

It was never ‘social anxiety’ it was fucking pattern recognition, but no I’m the paranoid one for always worrying that people hate me. It’s almost like I have a disorder that’s lots of people hate me for that has a symptom of recognising the pattern of being treated like shit for something I have no control over.

a bottom-tier autistic experience is being told throughout your entire childhood that you are just an overthinker when it comes to social situations and later finding out that your friends did, in fact, hate being around you and tried to communicate that through weird little hints

[angeltism]

and I'm suddenly all fucking better again EXCUSE ME ?????? oh my god can I please get a new brain . this one doesn't have any fucking emotional regulation whatsoever . what the absolute fuck

[spilledcoffeeonthefloor]

Fans making a youtube video with the title:

"Neil josten when Andrew"

and it's like:

*reporter: Neil Josten! people say Andrew m-

Neil: nope, imma stop u right there. you bring Andrew up again and we're having a big problem here. I'm tired of your never ending self made drama about my teammates.

*reporter, Again: Neil Josten! there has been rumors about your current goalie Andr-

Neil: there has been rumors about your mother as well, actually! people say his son doesn't have a better job to do than making a shit amount of money out of people's private life.

*camera on Neil staring at Andrew in a middle of a warm up before a match.

*camera on Kevin talking to Neil, Neil literally zoning out, then turning his head around and looking for something. kevin sighs, then points toward Andrew in the corner. Neil's face lighting up

*camera on Neil looking at Andrew in the goal when he's standing out for the game and doing a "Andrew smile" soft and proud and literally heart eyes.

*camera on Neil punching a stricker for shoving Aaron.

*camera on Neil turning toward Andrew everytime he scores.

*more Neil staring at Andrew

*another stricker yells something at Andrew mid game,

Neil punching the guy in the guts, twice, walking toward the referrer, snatching a red card before the referrer could even offer it, and punching the stricker dude twice more

*reporter: Neil josten, your goalie Minyard did an excellent performance at this game, do-

Neil: OH MY GOD, RIGHT????? like, wow that was amazing. he is amazing. I've been obsessed with exy since i was a kid, and I've seen really, really great things in exy, but this? that defense? that was the greatest thing I've ever seen. he didn't let a single goal in. like-*endless yapping*

*reporter: Neil josten, how's playing with Minyard?

Neil: good, he keeps me on my knees.

Neil:....

Neil: TOES. HE KEEPS ME ON MY TOES.

*Camera on Neil laughing so hard at something Andrew said with complete deadpan

*a tweet that says "i wish Andrew Minyard would bench press me" and has a "liked by Neil josten" above it.

*Camera on Neil threatening a nurse at the hospital to let her see Andrew, who was hurt mid game.

then again, camera on Neil shouting "ok then I'm buying the fucking hospital"

*Camera on Wymack trying to prevent Neil from buying the hospital

*reporter: Neil josten you look fabulous tonight! can you tell us what brand you're wearing?

Neil: i have not a single idea, Andrew picked it up

reporter: you just wear whatever he picks up for you..?

Neil: yuP.

*Foxes on tv in a quiz show, camera on Neil taking Andrew's coffee mug, taking a sip, put two sugar cubes in it, blowing it a bit to cool down then handing it to Andrew and turning to the host: excuse me what were you saying?

[roanniom]

Let Them Know

Eddie Munson x fem!reader

18+ Only, smut, PIV, consensual spanking

“The fucking window is open, Eddie,” you whisper urgently, cutting off your own previously loud moan.

Eddie’s got you on your back, legs up and over his shoulders as he thrusts into you. The hand supporting himself has one of your flailing arms trapped against the couch cushion while his other hand has found its way between your bodies, playing mercilessly with your clit.

“Yeah? So?” he grunts.

“So - fuck me!” you gasp when he reverses the swirl of his finger just as he ads a teasing swirl to the motion of his hips.

“That’s what I’m doing, princess,” Eddie responds roguishly. He leans down to give you the most lascivious open mouthed kiss. His entire body weight rests on your arm in the process, making it start to go numb, but you don’t care. You surrender to the kiss, happy to receive his plundering tongue. When he pulls away you whine.

“Turn around.”

It’s gruff. A command. You scramble to your shaky knees and before you can even finish a full rotation you feel Eddie grabbing your hips and pressing his thick cock back inside you. Deep.

“Ohhhhh.”

“Yeah? That feel good, baby?”

You melt, like you always do when he calls you baby, dropping to your forearms.

“Yes, it feels so fucking—.”

You bite your own lip when you hear voices through the open window. People passing by, thus far oblivious to the debauchery occurring on your couch.

Slap.

“Eddie!” you gasp as the feeling of the spank radiates on your ass, although your back arches and you press back into him like you always do.

“That’s right. Let them know who’s fucking you so good.”

“Mmmm,” you whimper quietly, shifting around to try and entice him to spank you again.

Suddenly his whole body is over yours, his mouth by your ear.

“I know what you want, baby. You’re a bad girl who wants to be spanked real good. But you’re not gonna get it if you don’t let me hear you.”

“Eddie…” you whisper. He reaches back and taps your ass, but so lightly you squirm at the lack of pressure.

“Louder.”

“Eddie.” You say it more forcefully this time, so he taps you again. This time with a liiiiittle more force but definitely not enough.

“You can do better for me, baby. Do it.”

This whole time he’s had you pressed down into the couch, cock buried deep inside you. You can feel it pulse greedily with enjoyment over your squirms and whimpers. It’s all too stimulating. Too hot. Too delicious.

You need more.

“Eddie! Fuck me! Please!”

SLAP.

The spank that lands on your ass is resounding, and definitely recognizable when paired with your breathy cries. You hear laughter outside the open window but you’re beyond caring at this point, because Eddie’s found a rhythm.

“Oh my fucking god,” you moan out. Eddie groans.

“That’s it. There’s my girl.”

He props himself up with one hand planted next to your face and the other finding your clit again. The pressure inside you intensifies immediately. Your eyes shoot open wide.

“Oh fuck. I’m…I’m gonna…”

“What’s that? You’re gonna cum already?” The glee in his voice in palpable. His finger swirls faster and faster and he grunts when he feels how close you are. “I can feel you getting tighter. You wanna cum for me, baby?”

“I wanna cum for you, Eddie. Wanna - fuck! Sooodeep. Wanna cum for you so bad.” You babble, dropping face down, ass up, hardly able to receive the pleasure he’s thrusting into you.

“Holy shit,” Eddie groans. He pulls his hand away from your clit long enough to spank you again, just to hear you squeal and feel you spasm around him. “Feel me getting harder? You’re gonna make me cum too.”

“Please!” you whine, practically incoherent.

“You want that? Want me to cum deep inside you, baby?” You can hear how gone he is in the amount of gravel in his voice. You’ve never been happier to be on the pill as you nod fervently against the sheets.

“Wanna feel you, Eds. Wanna cum with you.”

You’re right on the edge. And so, it turns out, is he.

Eddie lets out a shuddering gasp as he pumps into you, hot sticky cum flowing just as you spasm around him in a mind numbing orgasm.

Every muscle in your body seizes up as the pleasure ripples through you. Then everything relaxes. You fall limp and boneless, pressed deeper into the cushions by Eddie’s similarly limp body.

An aftershock reverberates through you and Eddie chuckles in your ear.

“I love these little shakes afterwards that you can’t help.”

“I can’t help it,” you insist, doing your best to turn in his arms to face him. “You fucked me good.”

“Yeah?” Eddie asks, dominance fading into sweet bashfulness in the afterglow of your shared pleasure. You love the duality. You love him.

“Yeah.”

You crane your neck to kiss him. His hand cups the side of your jaw almost reverently.

And then—

“Close the fucking window next time, freaks!” Steve Harrington calls out loud and clear, Robin laughing hysterically in the background.

~*~

Thank you for reading! I think this is the first thing I’ve written in over six months?? Wild.

[shorthaltsjester]

listen. unless a character explicitly states that a difference in lifespan between them and someone they care about is a concern of their’s, lifespan angst is the most boring and meaningless trope you can add to a fic/fan work. like, yes it is sad to lose someone but that is not because of a difference in lifespan. an elf with 1000+ year life expectancy might die tomorrow, a goliath might live longer than expected. it feels extremely reductive to look at characters with different fantasy races and decide that the biggest concern is that one will outlive the other when those characters have expressed no concern about either outliving or leaving their loved ones behind. like, i get the fear of death and trying to understand that through fictional characters but just do it with the ones who have expressed an actual concern with it, not with characters who seem delighted to get to love someone at all, even if it is brief and mortal. we don’t love people because we think it will be forever, and it hurts when the impermanence of the people we love becomes clear. but if i spent as much time factoring together matters of health and life expectancy for the people i love to try to predict when they’ll die so that i’ll be ready to lose them, i would have a lot less time to love them and it will still hurt just as much when they are no longer around.

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Mothers day Meltdown

[mysterious circle of robed figures] JK Rowling: hello children Rowling: I was just thinking about how transs people should be eliminated from ssociety Jonathan Chait: whoa whoa whoa! joanne! Chait: you can't say it like THAT Chait: so uncouth Chait: you have to say it with your pinky finger extended

Elon Musk: si! issa no good! Musk: issa too mucha trans genocide Musk: you shoulda only post the right amount offa da trans geocide Musk: lookita me, i lika da trans genocide Musk: but i also like many other genocides Rowling: oh MY GOD Rowling: my empire is crumbling!

Chait: we're not saying you can't still be transphobic Chait: you just have to, you know, cool it a bit Chait: be genteel about it Jesse Singal: mommy mommy i have concerns mommy! Chait: see? just like that

Chait: maybe put a little disclaimer Chait: "this transphobia is for entertainment purposes only" Rowling: do you not know who I am?? I'm JK Rowling! Rowling: JK FUCKING ROWLING!!! Rowling: I MADE YOUR CHILDHOOD MAGICAL!

Rowling: no one tellss me to cool it! Rowling: i own the courtss! Chait: joanne Rowling: and another thing!!! Rowling: SSTOP CALLING ME JOANNE!

[midnight society] JK Rowling: hello children Barker: oh look who it is Barker: what are you doing here joanne? Barker: did your terfs tell you to cool it again? Rowling: Rowling: why doess everyone call me joanne

Rowling: i'm extremely mad about thiss transs football referee Barker: what? Rowling: this transs football referee Barker: Barker: what?

Rowling: there's a transs football referee and i'm really mad about it! Rowling: what, haven't you heard? Barker: joanne, why are you here Rowling: and another thing! Rowling: sstop calling me joanne!!

Rowling: people are alwayss all "joanne this" and joanne that! Rowling: wah wah wah joanne joanne joanne! Barker: do you not like your name Barker: you could change it Poe: clive Poe: just let her tire herself out Barker: no no I've got something here

Rowling: people are alwayss "oh wah wah wah joanne, how can you ssay that! your bookss are all about tolerance and love wah wah wah!" Rowling: bitch i think i know what my booksss are about! Rowling: i fuckin wrote them after all!

Rowling: blah blah blah ohh joanne Rowling: i hate when people call me joanne!! Rowling: they should fear to say my true name! Barker: oh damn look at that Barker: looks like we're having a good ol' fashioned mothers day meltdown Poe: clive don't encourage this

King: but joanne! how can you say that? King: after all the lessons of harry potter? King: you made our childhoods magical!

Rowling: people are all "blah blah blah joanne how can you like naziss now when you ssaid they were bad in harry potter" Rowling: first of all, harry potter iss fiction! Rowling: secondly, the death eaters are actually a ssinister coalition of evil transs, sspooniess, fat people, free masonss, and diane duane Rowling: always have been! Rowling: thiss iss NOT a retcon!

Rowling: that sshould be obviouss if you've read the book Rowling: UNLESSS Rowling: you're a fake potterhead, ssteve King: no of course not! i love harry potter

Rowling: DO YOU Rowling: perhaps then Rowling: you would be willing to take a blood oath to the dark lord Rowling: to belong to the dark lord body and ssoul Rowling: who is always correct King: i uh don't think i'm going to take that oath, sorry Rowling: UGH! Rowling: this is just like Radcliffe all over again!

[velvetures]

Soap would be so fucking protective of you, and I can’t get it out my head. So now it’s your problem :)

You don’t like drinking? He’s the first to draw attention away from the lack of a beer bottle in your hand. Using that irresistible charm to woo everyone out of their questions and peer pressure to get you to join in. He sees how nervous it makes you. And he’s far too sensitive to your feelings to let it happen. Besides… he’s gotten really good at giving the right orders to bartenders, so that he can give you some fruity, soda-laden thing, that passes off as one of the other cocktails all your friends are nursing.

Uncomfortable family dinners? You know, that one where your least favorite uncle is oh-so-willing to give you shit for not going into the career all of them think you should’ve pursued? Oh hell no. Soap won’t spend one second thinking over whether it’s polite or not to speak up. He just does. Abandoning your mom’s casserole he’s been complimenting with a full mouth, just to look your bastard of an uncle in the face and tell him he’d be better off complaining to the business end of a pistol. At least then, he’d get a response that would shut him up for good.

That ex who won’t take ‘no’ for an answer? He’s as good as dead. Not that he’s instinctively jealous… because really, he knows better. It’s just the mere thought of someone taking advantage of your life. Of your time. He’s livid because you’re too special to be harassed like that. Treated like a game that can be picked up and put down whenever the mood arises. Soap won’t make a spectacle of it… but the monthly calls and texts suddenly stop after a while. And you think it’s because you finally broke down and changed your phone number a second time. But… that hadn’t stopped your ex the first time. Soap just shrugs. Giving the excuse that common sense might’ve given him a change of heart. Johnny just didn’t have the heart himself to tell you that ‘common sense’ didn’t have the chance. He was far quicker.

Soap had lived a life so uncomfortable for so long, that seeing a sweet thing like you experience it becomes intolerable. It’s as if all of the killing and destruction he’s committed was for nothing, when something -even trivial- blockades your walk through life. His nature is to fix the problem. And his training only enhanced the instinct to do it violently. Quick and controlled action, using brute force to make the world spin to your tempo. And god… you hate when he does it. Constantly reassuring him that you’re an adult. That you’re prepared for life not to be easy, and that it’s only going to make you stronger in the end.

He won’t hear it though.

He wants you soft. Desperately, actually. More of a requirement for his own happiness than anything. And often times he thinks that it’s selfish. That maybe he is truly robbing you of some experiences that might be good for you. Make the life you lead interesting for the kids and grandchildren you tell stories to. But then again, he’s so staunch in his ways, that it comes to fruition like muscle-memory. Placing you on your silken throne and taking a defensive stance in front of you like a medieval knight hellbent on keeping his royalty alive and well.

John MacTavish knows your place and it’s to be behind him. Right where he can protect and provide, without the fear of you crying or getting hurt by the seemingly endless amount of people who unfathomably don’t want the same things for you. They all say they love you… want the best… but he challenges it.

Every. Single. Time.