#but oh my fucking god the amount of people who say this

[chambergambit]

ok so i first reblogged this with a tag saying #oh god this is literally the session i just got out of like 2 minutes ago bc, yeah, my therapist was telling me how smart and capable i am and i was having emotions about it.

but then i looked through the notes and saw people saying a lot of shit that amounts to "yeah therapy is totally useless."

if you think this, you aren't getting the right therapy. if your therapist can't handle your diagnosis, you gotta find someone who specializes in it. ask for a referral. (yes I now, expense and accessibility are issues, but you still gotta try).

if you feel like your therapist is ignoring important issues, fucking talk to them about it. you can critique your therapist! you can tell them you're not happy with your work! you can tell them what you want to focus on!!!

"this subject is really important to me, and it seems like whenever I bring it up, you won't engage."

"when you give me praise for xyz, i feel like the problem at hand is being ignored for something irrelevant."

"i need you to focus on what i'm saying, not how i say it."

you can even challenge them directly

"how is that relevant to the issue?"

"what experience do you have in this subject?"

"what you're saying about this issue is very different from my personal experience it."

"that is not the subject at hand, this is."

"i disagree with that statement because of x y and z."

YOU ARE JUST AS RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HAPPENS IN YOUR THERAPY SESSIONS AS YOUR THERAPIST.

why was i having emotions about my own therapist telling me how smart and capable i am? because i often think i'm not smart and capable in any way that really matters, and it's really hard for me to hear otherwise.

and you know what? i'm gonna talk to my therapist about it.

Why does every therapist tell me that I’m so bright and confident and articulate, can you please help me deal with the gaping hole in my chest

[5starssz]

All For Me

Paige Bueckers x fem reader

Your two year relationship with collegiante basketball star Paige Bueckers ends suddenly in both of your senior year. You couldn’t seem to detach yourself from her even though Paige had seemed to move on. Once you graduated and Paige was doing her 5th year, Paige finally realizes what she lost.

All For Me- Mariah The Scientist

!Warnings! Angst

Purple= Paige

Pink=You

All For Me-Part one

One Year Ago

“Why are you doing this?”, my voice was low, heavy with all the emotions I was forced to bear in that moment. No one expects the person they thought was THE ONE to break up with them on a random Wednesday in December at 2am. Paige sat across from me as we both sat on the floor of a tight hallway in her residence hall. It was an empty hallway with no dorm rooms where we would meet. Paige’s eyes shifted down to the ground, avoiding eye contact with me. “I just can’t do this anymore”, she bluntly stated. “You’re lying Paige, i’ve done nothing but be the person you needed. I grew for you Paige, we grew together. What can’t you not do?!”, you emotionally explained. My voice being unstable due to the puddles forming in my eyes. Paige lifted her head, eyes dialed on mine. For once I couldn’t read her. There was nothing behind those blue eyes that were once filled with love. “I’m sorry”, was the last thing she said to me as she got up and walked off. ‘I’m sorry’ the last words I thought would be exchanged between us. I sat in the same spot until 4am hoping she would run back to me and say she didn’t mean anything she said, i really hoped. She didn’t.

Current

I woke up in my small disheveled apartment to my phones alarm sounding in my ear. Ive lived in this apartment since my Junior year of college. I had a showing for a house that’s up for Sale about thirty minutes from me. I did my normal morning work routine: Brush my teeth, skin care, makeup, hair, and fish for an outfit. Luckily last night I felt like being organized and picked my work outfit the night before, a grey pant suit and some black heels. I hated my work attire but I gotta do what I gotta do. I headed out a few minutes early so I could grab a coffee before I had to drive to the house. My normal coffee shop was closed so unfortunately I have to venture onto campus for coffee. ‘I’m praying i don’t see anyone’, I say to myself knowing exactly who that ‘anyone’ was. The drive isn’t far, which was the goal when I first rented the apartment. I parked in a parking lot next to the shop, walking in and immediately being hit with the scent of coffee and pastries. Due to my amazing luck, the line was extremely long. “fuck it, a girl needs her coffee”, i said quietly walking into the line. As I stood in the line I heard a large group of people laugh, it didn’t catch my attention that much to pull my eyes off my phone. The laughing continued until the sound of a breaking plate made the whole establishment fall into silence. My head quickly turned to the source of the sound. “oh my god”, I said out loud when my brain finally processed what I’ve been looking at. A group of girls in dark blue sweat suits and one standing up with her hands rested on her head. Her eyes shifted around the small shop realizing all eyes were on her. Her eyes were met with mine and my heart dropped. Her eyes grew and her hands dropped to her side. Everyone else around us had gone back to whatever they were doing before and the rest of the girls started laughing at Paige and helping clean up. Not Paige though, she remained in the same spot maintaining eye contact with me. ‘I can’t do this today’, I thought to myself breaking the eye contact with her. I can’t really tell but it looked like she was….sorry? or sad? I can’t read her like I once could. Her eye contact was so captivating, it brought back a flood of memories in that short amount of time. I was left in deep thought in the middle of this long ass line. “Hey”, the voice broke me out of my deep dive into memories. My eyes moved to the right of me to be face to face with her. “Hi Paige”, I said to her with a small smile. “You look great…..and i’ve been thinking lately and I’m sorry about how I ended things with us-“. I cut her off. “I’m sorry Paige but I don’t think this is the time or place for this conversation. I have a house showing to get to”. “I understand. I shouldn’t have dumped all this shit on you right here, right now. We can talk later?”. I grabbed my coffee off the counter and turned back to Paige. “yeah, I still have your number. See you later Paige”. I squeezed my way through the crowd of busy people and walked out the double glass doors quickly until I felt something on my arm. I stopped to turn around and saw Paige grasping onto my forearm. “Paige I-“. “I know you have to go but just know I never closed the door on us……I’m stupid as shit and thought there was someone else for me. I fucked up and i’m so sorry”. Her voice sounded like she was hurt, like she really regrets it. But she left me for someone else?! “We’ll talk Paige”. I said walking away and out of her grasp. I still can’t hate her though, I cant bring myself to hate her. My heart still beats faster for her like it did when we were deep in love, I don’t get it. The only thing I was left thinking was ‘what did that girl have on me?’

————————————————————————

to be continued….

[lastoneout]

OH MY FUCKING GOD??

We actually managed to get ahold of the doctor I saw last before I left yesterday(who I believe was my doctor for the whole stay) and he said that the nurse was either misinformed or straight up lying to me about what dose I was being given AND they denied me medication he prescribed!!

Apparently, they usually start patients with 5mg of oxycodone once they're in their rooms after surgery and IF THAT ISNT ENOUGH they are instructed to give me another dose to bring me up to 10mg and if it wears off I should have been given more even if it was within six hours, so yeah the nurses not only TOLD ME I was being given 10mg when I fucking WASN'T, they were ALSO SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME MORE MEDS THE SECOND I SAID WHAT THEY'D ALREADY GIVEN ME WASN'T HELPING OR IF THEY WORE OFF EARLY AND THE WHOLE "YOU ONLY CAN TAKE IT EVERY 6 HOURS EVEN IF IT WEARS OFF AND YOU'RE SOBBING AND AT A 10" THING WAS HORSESHIT.

The pharmacy ALSO did not fill all of the scripts they were given?? The doctor told us that on top of the pain meds he prescribed miralax to help with the ungodly, agonizing bloating I'm dealing with AND A MUSCLE RELAXER TO HELP WITH THE PAIN neither of which were given to me OR EVEN PUT ON MY DISCHARGE PAPERWORK.

The Doctor not only apologized profusely, he said he's going to talk to the nurses I had and let them know what they were doing was directly contrary to his instructions and that isn't fucking okay, and up the dose of the painkiller with a new script since the current one just isn't helping enough and the only thing I have to do is bring in and swap whatever I have left of the old ones, AND make sure the muscle relaxer and miralax get filled!!

He also let us know the setting my shunt is at, the headache I have is normal but if it gets really bad or lasts more than a few days (or if I just feel like something isn't right) that I should call back or just go to the ER, that I should be drinking 64oz of water a day as well as whatever electrolyte drinks I want, AND I can have coffee which should help, and sprite or ginger ale or anything I think will help with the nausea.

I take the shit I said about the doctor back HE knew what the fuck he was doing, the nursing staff and pharmacy just fucked the hell up for whatever reason. Which like...ngl given that two of the nurses were standing in the hallway, ignoring my repeated requests for help and the fact that I was literally sobbing in agony at even the lightest touch in favor of shit talking me!! I feel like maybe we had a case of at least some of the nurses being assholes for no reason. I will probably never know why but I do have a buzz cut, am giving off undeniably queer ass vibes, and had gay pride buttons on my bag, I live in Arizona, and I'm almost certain my gender in the system is set as nonbinary so....I can say for sure but it does makes me wonder.

(Honestly tho it's probably just them being understaffed and stressed and the whole "med school essentially teaches you that all patients are so stupid you can't trust anything they say AND drug addicts waiting to happen" thing and/or the fact that the worst people in the world will always seek out positions of power and being a nurse is a great way for terrible people to gain concerning amounts of power over vulnerable people.)

I'm still never going to this fucking hospital again unless I have literally no other choice tho. They have a long history of treating me and my family like complete and utter shit—like the horror stories I could tell I s2g they nearly killed my mom due to neglecting her severely infected leg for TWELVE HOURS—that place is run by people who literally only care about profit and staffed with the worst, most cruel and careless nurses I've ever met(and that sucks because they are partnered with the local university so basically ALL nursing students in my city train there) and the few that do give a shit are so stressed and miserable they can barely provide care at all.

Christ alive. What a fucking hellhole. Glad I was right about these last two days being a nightmare of bullshit and I never, ever should have been treated that way. Small comfort, but it's still a comfort.

Anyway I'm gonna go take my new, correctly dosed meds, eat something, and take a nap o7 sorry for all the venting, hopefully this is the last of it.

[microwavesaferat]

I'm so unexcited for the Christopher Nolan Odyssey Film.

There's so many things I'm just dreading, like as a mythology buff (admittedly, not an expert, just a bit of a special interest), I'm gonna lose it if a film guy starts mansplaining about Homeric hymns to me. Like, keep talking about how the suitors were actually doing what was right for the time and I will kick you in your shriveled nutsack.

I also saw the cast list and nearly shed a tear. They all have fucking iPhone face. I'm sorry, Tom Holland as Telemachus (potentially)???? Like, oh it's so sad your dad is missing and stuff, but did you remember to take your ozempic today? Like all the cast have iPhone face. Unless this is gonna be a weird modern retelling (which also worries me), I won't be able to imagine Zendaya as Athena (potentially) without her whipping out a Google pixel to text Zeus.

I was talking to people and we ended up making our own cast list of some of the major roles.

Cast List

Odysseus - Antonia Banderas

My mother saw him in Paddington 3 and has instructed me to include him as he is, in her words, "fit". In my opinion, someone like Liam Neeson, Mads Mikelson or Michael Fassbender. I just don't want a poorly disguised American accent. Like I get you might not get a Greek actor or even one with a similar accent, but please not a straight American accent or badly done accent.

Penelope - Michelle Yeoh

Nolan is rumoured to have cast Anne Hathaway, which I am also kind of fine with, so I'm not too worried about that. I think Michelle would be great as a cunning, loyal wife to Odysseus and I also think she could channel a great amount of contempt towards the suitors. I never find Anne Hathaway to be convincingly angry in scenes, distraught and afraid, yes, but I think Michelle could really embody that disgust Penelope has.

Athena - Cate Blanchet

I think Athena needs to be played by an older actor. I get the Gods are ageless, but she needs to give the appearance of wisdom and I think Cate Blanchet always looks like she's planning and thinking. The issue with Zendaya is not just that she has iPhone face, but she is too young. Your mind immediately says that she's too young to be that wise. It's a trait commonly associated with older people as it relates to experience, and Zendaya just doesn't look experienced.

Poiseiden - Gerard Butler

Hear me out, I think the Gods (other than Athena) should only appear in voice and not in person. For the scale of things, an actor floating in the air with cgi waves doesn't really look that menacing in the scale of things, especially compared to 50 boats. And I don't want a big cgi water monster thing either. I think the voice should carry on the waves, a shout accompanied by a crash of water, the temper rising as does the waves. I think it's more threatening to hear his voice booming as the boat is rocked, there's a fear of pissing him off more cause, if he gets much louder, you might just capsize. My mother wanted to also say, in a perfect world, it would actually be Billy Connolly, but he hasn't acted in years now due to Parkinson's. The rumour is that Nolan has cast Robert Pattinson and, while he was threatening as the Batman, I don't think it's the right kind of threatening required for the role. If he was doing this as a voice acting role, maybe, we know he has amazing range from the Boy and the Heron.

Zues - Patrick Page

Listen to Little Songbird or Hellfire and tell me he doesn't sound like Thunder. Moving on.

Circe - Nicole Kidman

Circe is a complex character and I think she needs to be portrayed that way. I don't want a young actor who beguiles older Odysseus with her youth. I need Circe to have that wisdom and experience that Penelope also has. I think it could be an interesting idea to even have them played by the same person. This all depends on how close the movie will be to the original epic anyway. My main stipulation is that she needs to remind Odysseus of Penelope.

Calypso - Lupita Nyong'o

The articles I've read actually suggest her as Circe, which I wouldn't mind either, I just wanted someone older for Circe. I think Calypso is also a complex character that must be portrayed as such. Essentially I think Lupita would be able to embody both the woman madly in love with Odysseus and also the Goddess keeping him here for her entertainment. From seeing her in Us, I know she has an amazing range and is able to show the threatening side to Calypso required. It doesn't work if it seems like Odysseus has the upper hand at any point.

Telemachus - Thomas Brodie Sangster

I really struggled here cause a lot of young actors look too modern for a lot of period pieces. It's also important that Telemachus isn't some chiseled, huge guy. I also think, given we would probably check in on him multiple times during the movie, Thomas is good at looking young and old at the same time. Another option would maybe be Joe Locke.

This post is long already so I'm not doing the rest of the characters. I have nothing against the actors Nolan has gone with, I just don't think they fit well. I'm also heavily biased from listening to Epic and Hadestown a lot.

Lmk your suggestions, as always, these are just my thoughts and a lot of them aren't even well thought out.

[axasfxy]

aww, they both died seeing their crushes that never liked them back #couplegoals 💕💕

They really died on the same day huh

[stellacadente]

if you ever feel stupid just think of this one store clerk i met in dublin who i was chatting with, saying i'm a tourist from italy, to which they said they once went to a concert of a spanish artist and there were many people with italian flags. then they looked at my necklace and asked "oh? that's the italian flag right?" . it's the palestinian flag ...

[l-cereta]

oh my god u know the hrt is working when u get genuinely white girl drunk

[deathxproof]

hm, out of all of the things I was expecting when I slowly started putting myself back in fandom spaces, “unresolved trauma from being an autistic kid/teen who was always perceived as Too Much” wasn’t on the list, to be quite honest.

[pepprs]

not to be a pain-crazed wild animal. i KNOW i do this every time. but p*riods are so fucking crazy. like my cr*mps are so bad my body is trying to strangle itself but im awake and i need to be at work in 2 hrs and get thru an entire 9 hr workday as if im not in excruciating pain and im gonna bring my heating pad and my p*in r*lief cr*am if you catch my drift (💀) and i’ll need to use them DURING a busy day in which i will not see any other ppl who get periods in person and using them is gonna be a whole awkward thing. like omg. this is not fucking normal lol

[iniquity-fr]

look i’ve done plenty of bitching and whining myself about the ancient gene bloat and how long it’s taking them to implement solutions to handle that (and complaining about them continuing to add ancients/ancient genes in the meantime bc i hate the damn things anyway lol)

but it is getting so exhausting watching people flip their fucking lids about how “site activities were fine we didn’t need THIS part updated, why did they do this part first, why didn’t they address the MP first, staff won’t fix the parts that actually need fixing omg!!!!!!” they are getting to it. further updates are coming. they have repeatedly told us there will be further updates to deal with the gene bloat, this one new exchange shop is not in any way the end of it. how many times does staff have to say other parts of the site will be fixed before people stop acting like they don’t care and won’t fix anything.

yes it’s taking them an agonizingly slow time that they’ve just been making worse in the meantime but good lord the amount of people acting like they’re just outright refusing to deal with the gene bloat at all is absurd. like why even pitch such a fit about the site activity genes getting a new system first as if staff can go back in time to cater to your desires instead?

and it’s like almost always people claiming gene bloat is at its worse in the MP despite the fact that the MP has filters already and the problem is… honestly barely a real problem there at all. can you please figure out how the site works and what the actual issues are before whining. thanks

[stonesandswords]

.

[ravenswritingroom]

It was never ‘social anxiety’ it was fucking pattern recognition, but no I’m the paranoid one for always worrying that people hate me. It’s almost like I have a disorder that’s lots of people hate me for that has a symptom of recognising the pattern of being treated like shit for something I have no control over.

a bottom-tier autistic experience is being told throughout your entire childhood that you are just an overthinker when it comes to social situations and later finding out that your friends did, in fact, hate being around you and tried to communicate that through weird little hints

[angeltism]

and I'm suddenly all fucking better again EXCUSE ME ?????? oh my god can I please get a new brain . this one doesn't have any fucking emotional regulation whatsoever . what the absolute fuck

[spilledcoffeeonthefloor]

Fans making a youtube video with the title:

"Neil josten when Andrew"

and it's like:

*reporter: Neil Josten! people say Andrew m-

Neil: nope, imma stop u right there. you bring Andrew up again and we're having a big problem here. I'm tired of your never ending self made drama about my teammates.

*reporter, Again: Neil Josten! there has been rumors about your current goalie Andr-

Neil: there has been rumors about your mother as well, actually! people say his son doesn't have a better job to do than making a shit amount of money out of people's private life.

*camera on Neil staring at Andrew in a middle of a warm up before a match.

*camera on Kevin talking to Neil, Neil literally zoning out, then turning his head around and looking for something. kevin sighs, then points toward Andrew in the corner. Neil's face lighting up

*camera on Neil looking at Andrew in the goal when he's standing out for the game and doing a "Andrew smile" soft and proud and literally heart eyes.

*camera on Neil punching a stricker for shoving Aaron.

*camera on Neil turning toward Andrew everytime he scores.

*more Neil staring at Andrew

*another stricker yells something at Andrew mid game,

Neil punching the guy in the guts, twice, walking toward the referrer, snatching a red card before the referrer could even offer it, and punching the stricker dude twice more

*reporter: Neil josten, your goalie Minyard did an excellent performance at this game, do-

Neil: OH MY GOD, RIGHT????? like, wow that was amazing. he is amazing. I've been obsessed with exy since i was a kid, and I've seen really, really great things in exy, but this? that defense? that was the greatest thing I've ever seen. he didn't let a single goal in. like-*endless yapping*

*reporter: Neil josten, how's playing with Minyard?

Neil: good, he keeps me on my knees.

Neil:....

Neil: TOES. HE KEEPS ME ON MY TOES.

*Camera on Neil laughing so hard at something Andrew said with complete deadpan

*a tweet that says "i wish Andrew Minyard would bench press me" and has a "liked by Neil josten" above it.

*Camera on Neil threatening a nurse at the hospital to let her see Andrew, who was hurt mid game.

then again, camera on Neil shouting "ok then I'm buying the fucking hospital"

*Camera on Wymack trying to prevent Neil from buying the hospital

*reporter: Neil josten you look fabulous tonight! can you tell us what brand you're wearing?

Neil: i have not a single idea, Andrew picked it up

reporter: you just wear whatever he picks up for you..?

Neil: yuP.

*Foxes on tv in a quiz show, camera on Neil taking Andrew's coffee mug, taking a sip, put two sugar cubes in it, blowing it a bit to cool down then handing it to Andrew and turning to the host: excuse me what were you saying?

[roanniom]

Let Them Know

Eddie Munson x fem!reader

18+ Only, smut, PIV, consensual spanking

“The fucking window is open, Eddie,” you whisper urgently, cutting off your own previously loud moan.

Eddie’s got you on your back, legs up and over his shoulders as he thrusts into you. The hand supporting himself has one of your flailing arms trapped against the couch cushion while his other hand has found its way between your bodies, playing mercilessly with your clit.

“Yeah? So?” he grunts.

“So - fuck me!” you gasp when he reverses the swirl of his finger just as he ads a teasing swirl to the motion of his hips.

“That’s what I’m doing, princess,” Eddie responds roguishly. He leans down to give you the most lascivious open mouthed kiss. His entire body weight rests on your arm in the process, making it start to go numb, but you don’t care. You surrender to the kiss, happy to receive his plundering tongue. When he pulls away you whine.

“Turn around.”

It’s gruff. A command. You scramble to your shaky knees and before you can even finish a full rotation you feel Eddie grabbing your hips and pressing his thick cock back inside you. Deep.

“Ohhhhh.”

“Yeah? That feel good, baby?”

You melt, like you always do when he calls you baby, dropping to your forearms.

“Yes, it feels so fucking—.”

You bite your own lip when you hear voices through the open window. People passing by, thus far oblivious to the debauchery occurring on your couch.

Slap.

“Eddie!” you gasp as the feeling of the spank radiates on your ass, although your back arches and you press back into him like you always do.

“That’s right. Let them know who’s fucking you so good.”

“Mmmm,” you whimper quietly, shifting around to try and entice him to spank you again.

Suddenly his whole body is over yours, his mouth by your ear.

“I know what you want, baby. You’re a bad girl who wants to be spanked real good. But you’re not gonna get it if you don’t let me hear you.”

“Eddie…” you whisper. He reaches back and taps your ass, but so lightly you squirm at the lack of pressure.

“Louder.”

“Eddie.” You say it more forcefully this time, so he taps you again. This time with a liiiiittle more force but definitely not enough.

“You can do better for me, baby. Do it.”

This whole time he’s had you pressed down into the couch, cock buried deep inside you. You can feel it pulse greedily with enjoyment over your squirms and whimpers. It’s all too stimulating. Too hot. Too delicious.

You need more.

“Eddie! Fuck me! Please!”

SLAP.

The spank that lands on your ass is resounding, and definitely recognizable when paired with your breathy cries. You hear laughter outside the open window but you’re beyond caring at this point, because Eddie’s found a rhythm.

“Oh my fucking god,” you moan out. Eddie groans.

“That’s it. There’s my girl.”

He props himself up with one hand planted next to your face and the other finding your clit again. The pressure inside you intensifies immediately. Your eyes shoot open wide.

“Oh fuck. I’m…I’m gonna…”

“What’s that? You’re gonna cum already?” The glee in his voice in palpable. His finger swirls faster and faster and he grunts when he feels how close you are. “I can feel you getting tighter. You wanna cum for me, baby?”

“I wanna cum for you, Eddie. Wanna - fuck! Sooodeep. Wanna cum for you so bad.” You babble, dropping face down, ass up, hardly able to receive the pleasure he’s thrusting into you.

“Holy shit,” Eddie groans. He pulls his hand away from your clit long enough to spank you again, just to hear you squeal and feel you spasm around him. “Feel me getting harder? You’re gonna make me cum too.”

“Please!” you whine, practically incoherent.

“You want that? Want me to cum deep inside you, baby?” You can hear how gone he is in the amount of gravel in his voice. You’ve never been happier to be on the pill as you nod fervently against the sheets.

“Wanna feel you, Eds. Wanna cum with you.”

You’re right on the edge. And so, it turns out, is he.

Eddie lets out a shuddering gasp as he pumps into you, hot sticky cum flowing just as you spasm around him in a mind numbing orgasm.

Every muscle in your body seizes up as the pleasure ripples through you. Then everything relaxes. You fall limp and boneless, pressed deeper into the cushions by Eddie’s similarly limp body.

An aftershock reverberates through you and Eddie chuckles in your ear.

“I love these little shakes afterwards that you can’t help.”

“I can’t help it,” you insist, doing your best to turn in his arms to face him. “You fucked me good.”

“Yeah?” Eddie asks, dominance fading into sweet bashfulness in the afterglow of your shared pleasure. You love the duality. You love him.

“Yeah.”

You crane your neck to kiss him. His hand cups the side of your jaw almost reverently.

And then—

“Close the fucking window next time, freaks!” Steve Harrington calls out loud and clear, Robin laughing hysterically in the background.

~*~

Thank you for reading! I think this is the first thing I’ve written in over six months?? Wild.

[shorthaltsjester]

listen. unless a character explicitly states that a difference in lifespan between them and someone they care about is a concern of their’s, lifespan angst is the most boring and meaningless trope you can add to a fic/fan work. like, yes it is sad to lose someone but that is not because of a difference in lifespan. an elf with 1000+ year life expectancy might die tomorrow, a goliath might live longer than expected. it feels extremely reductive to look at characters with different fantasy races and decide that the biggest concern is that one will outlive the other when those characters have expressed no concern about either outliving or leaving their loved ones behind. like, i get the fear of death and trying to understand that through fictional characters but just do it with the ones who have expressed an actual concern with it, not with characters who seem delighted to get to love someone at all, even if it is brief and mortal. we don’t love people because we think it will be forever, and it hurts when the impermanence of the people we love becomes clear. but if i spent as much time factoring together matters of health and life expectancy for the people i love to try to predict when they’ll die so that i’ll be ready to lose them, i would have a lot less time to love them and it will still hurt just as much when they are no longer around.