#crush sortof who likes her back and flirts with her and tells her to leave her bf
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i don't want to learn how to make consolidated financial statements i want to be in love
#*continues to learn cfs and not try finding love at all*#but ohh i met my cousin who's a year younger than me and she has a boyfriend she doesn't care about and a#crush sortof who likes her back and flirts with her and tells her to leave her bf#and blackout drunk house parties#major somo lol#i coined that term it's sadness of missing out#god is so unfair to some people like she has the entire family the amount of money#she casually spends on skincare even my phone isn't as expensive as that#and it's all because her dad is an asshole. like um i wish we didn't have to maintain good relations with them#all i feel is bitter#they are happy because we are sad their dad is chill bc ours is. not#she gave mba wali cat just aise hi without studying and she's like oh no biggie I'll just give in again in november#here i am killing myself trying to study for an exam so i can get out of this stupid house bc my parents are so done with me they've#literally selling flats here and paying rent only till my brother lives here#she has a home wonderful home her own room and so many plushies and they were so soft and idk it made me want to cry a bit#something about spending money so carelessly or maybe carefreely having things in your room that comfort you#when ive been living in a rented house since 6 years 3 diff houses bare walls bare rooms bc who knows when he'll want us to move again#i want to have a home too. something permanent#the only decoration i have in my room is glow in the dark stickers and i want to rip them off every night cause the person who gave them to#me doesn't even gaf abt whether I live or die when infact she used to say you're never alone im always with you#but I can't it's the only comforting thing at night when thoughts get bad#whatever. i have to study cfs only for the life i want to have#i just hate that i have to earn everything when other ppl are just being given it. but wtvr that's the hand ive been dealt#my god my problems must sound so shallow and materialistic. well fuck it fuck my parents for being the only failures#in a family of ridiculously rich people. hate you both
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