#but now i CANNOT unsee them as these two

[buttercup-art]

I blame @hyperionhugo for this

[jeonscatalyst]

Did anything about jikooks (or vminkook if that interests you) dynamic surprise you in are you sure? I think the extent of JK's brattiness and their play-fighting did surprise me a little. I think it's because I haven't been following them beyond the music that much in solo era. Also if I compare vminkooks dynamic from say that joint live in 2021 or the live incl Hobi (in 2022 I think?), I think it's a little bit different from what we're seeing in the show. If I think about it, it does check out in many ways with regards to what they've told us but I don't think it's something we've seen this plainly before

Hey anon,

Nothing about Jikook’ or Vminkook’s dynamic surprised me much, infact I would say the boys haven’t changed at all. Jungkook has always been bratty. Literally all the members have complained about him being bratty and stubborn and as for the play-fighting (I am assuming you are talking about Jikook) that has literally always been their thing. Someone described Jikook’s dynamic as a mix of all the other duo dynamics in BTS and now I really cannot unsee it. They playfight like jinkook, bicker like yoonmin, are soft with each other like Namkook, are besties like taekook and are caring towards each other like Jihope. There is literally a mix of everything in their dynamic and that is one of the reasons why Jikook are so difficult to explain as a duo. I personally don’t have any trouble understanding the other duo dynamics of BTS but Jikook still challenges me sometimes.

It was definitely kinda new to see them bicker so much, I mean we had seen them bicker before but the other members were usually in the mix so just seeing them bicker about parking was kinda new but not really surprising to me.

As for taekook, I didn’t see anything about their dynamic that surprised me at all. They are the duo who know how to have maximum fun when they are together as they have so many things in common when it comes to personal interests so it is extremely easy for them to be in sync but they also have moments where they could come off a bit nonchalant towards each other (but this is very normal) and I have seen so many people say they have a passive aggressive energy about them but I don’t see it personally. I just think that Jungkook sometimes has his moments you know, when he doesn’t really feel like being enthusiastic about anyone (Jimin included) and Tae isn’t like Jimin who will still try to initiate interactions when Jk gets in that mood but instead Tae just kinda ignores as well or throws in some snarky comments and maybe that is why people see some passive aggressiveness but generally I think they have gotten much closer than they were a few years ago and even their emotional bond seems to have deepened a little more than before.

For Vminkook’s dynamic, I think it is pretty much the same to be honest. Like I said before, Jungkook has his bratty and soft moments with both of them and Vmin are still the two hyungs who dote on him but call him out in their own way when he starts going too far. Jungkook has a very different dynamic with both of them and it is seen more when he is with the two of them (or atleast I noticed it more). I had always known but just seeing it in play out in AYS was….interesting. I think with Tae, Jk really enjoys just doing the fun boy stuff. They both look their happiest around each other when they are bringing out the childishness out of each other and I can see why they easily connected when they were rookies. One person starts something and the other very easily goes along with it, no question asked. They are also a good example of dumb and dumber or the blind leading the blind because it seems like between the two of them, no one is the voice of reason and we all crave people who we can just be extremely silly with without overthinking anything and I guess that is what taekook are to each other and that is why Tae can call Jk and ask him to join him in Hawaii and Jk takes a 9 hour flight there, you know just for the fun of it. Unlike what taekookers would like to believe, it isn’t because Jk is in love with tae or none of that. If I had a bestie whom I usually have alot of fun with when we are together and we both like the same things and I had Jungkook money and time, I will do the exact same thing. But, just as I had said before, it just feels like the foundation of their friendship is mostly centered around the fun and shared interests, not much else. They ofcourse really care for each other and are supportive of each other as well. I thought it was extremely sweet how Jungkook immediately climbed that wall to encourage Tae when Tae was scared to jump. Those are some of the moments that show just how they get each other and how much they care about each other. Taekook as bestfriends works so well but I don’t see them working out as romantic partners and I also understand why they don’t seem to be each other’s go to person for comfort. This is because they are way too alike. They both are naturally takers so they need givers for things to balance out. That is why at some point, they both sought out comfort from Jimin who is a a natural giver and not from each other.

Jimin and Jungkook are kinda different here because even though those two also have alot of fun with each other, Jimin is actually very different from Jungkook. He isn’t as spontaneous and he thinks about everything way too much. He also likes to have a schedule or plan things out before he executes them but Jungkook takes everyday as it comes and doesn’t seem to think about things too much so because of this, Jimin is like the voice of reason but sometimes Jungkook doesn’t want a voice of reason, he just wants adventure. A good example of this is that episode from I land where Jungkook stole TXT’s food from the pantry. He was in there with Tae and while he was stealing the food, Tae just went along with it and didn’t say anything but instead just found the whole thing funny but immediately Jk went outside with the food and Jimin saw him, Jimin (as well as the other members) asked him to return the food and they even scolded him (Jimin included lol). This is how Tae and Jk are partners in crime because they both readily go along with each other’s mischief but Jimin is that voice of reason that Jk needs because Jk is very impressionable (he said it himself) so if he doesn’t have some Jimins in his life, he could easily go astray. Even though Jikook are so different, they still are so alike and they click and just get each other so well and I don’t even know how to explain it. It seems to me like they are the definition of opposites attract, ying and yang. Jimin has the light that Jk needs and Jk has the darkness Jimin craves, they balance each other out, they give each other what the other lacks, they complement each other completely. Their bond in my opinion is definitely deeper as the foundation of it much more than the fun they have when they are together. There is an underlying intimacy in their play that isn’t there in taekook’s too. While taekook just play around like 5 year olds without a care in the world, splashing around in pools or shooting at each other with water guns, there is a subtle intimacy and softness in the way Jikook play around and they are definitely more handsy with each other too. This is pretty much everything I already knew about them and it is exactly the same thing I saw so I don’t really think anything was surprising or maybe just how much Jikook can bicker, if I had to pick something lol.

So anon, I have written a ton even though you probably just wanted a shorter answer but I couldn’t help myself lol. I have a problem not expatiating as much as I can. I hope this answers your question though and if u don’t mind, I would love to hear what you thought was different about Vminkook’s dynamic from 2021/2022 and now. I don’t really think we can compare from those moments you mentioned but I’d really love to hear or read your thoughts.

[tangents-within-tangents]

The Bad Batch as Penguins of Madagascar Quotes

Bc I’ve seen a few posts making this magnificent comparison and both of these squads are near and dear to my heart and bc I need a distraction from the s3 premiere ahhh

Tech: *mission relevant info* Hunter: Tell me something I don’t know! Tech: Without mucus your stomach would digest itself Hunter: … Hunter: Tell me something else I don’t know…something less disturbing

Hunter: (to Caleb) It's okay, kid. We're not going to hurt you Crosshair: *cocks his gun* Not true, Hunter, they did authorize lethal force

Wrecker: *absolutely decking his bros* You pillow fight like a bunch of little girls!

Crosshair: What part of "zip it" eludes you?! The "zip" or the "it"?!

Echo: I don't mind saying it, that guy vexes me. *narrows eyes* He's a vexer.

Hunter: Boys, no training tonight. It's game night! Tech: Trivia! Let's play trivia! I dominate trivia! Omega: Oh! Can we play Simon Says this week? Tech: Yes, Simon says we play TRIVIA!!

Crosshair: I find reason tedious and boring. We'll use force.

Echo: I'm sorry, boys. I sometimes resort to sarcasm when facing the unknown Tech: No doubt

Hunter: Oh I’ve seen accident prone, try Wrecker and Crosshair! With a Chandrilan lantern! And SIX BOTTLES of rocket fuel!! Tech: Worst talent show ever

Hunter: There's no such thing as too paranoid, Omega. Remember that, and forget you ever heard it!

Tech: SCIENCE! WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?!?

Omega: I have an idea! But I'm not sure how safe it is Wrecker: I like it already!

Crosshair: *while fighting* You cannot win, Hunter! I am fueled with a boiling hate! A raging fury! Hunter: And a babbling mouth! *slaps him*

Omega: No! I swore I’d never use my adorability as a weapon again, and I meant it!

Echo: Wrecker, cover Omega’s ears, I intend to use my angry words

Tech: This red line shows the frustration level of a really smart person forced to take orders from some dunder-brained boob. As you can see the frustration just keeps rising and rising and rising. I mean, why don't they put the smart guy in charge, huh? IT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE! SOMETHING HAS GOT TO GIVE, PEOPLE! AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING THIS?!

Wrecker and Omega: *run in making incomprehensible panicked noises* Hunter: Anyone catch that? Echo: *nonchalantly interprets it exactly* The Batch: … Echo: What? I’m fluent in panic

Tech: Cool cars go faster. That's a scientific fact.

Cody, in his one episode: I believe now I know why “volunteers” ends in “tears”

Hunter: No batcher gets left behind, that’s why! Wrecker: What about Crosshair? Hunter: Okay, one batcher gets left behind Omega: and Echo? Hunter: Maybe two batchers get left behind Tech: Um… Hunter: *groan* Comparatively few batchers get left behind, okay?!

Omega: I thought you agreed this was a dangerous weapon! Wrecker: Which is the best kind! What good is a safe weapon?! Tech: He has a point

Hunter: Avert your eyes, young Omega, you’ll never be able to unsee this! Tech, recording bc that’s his freaking hobby: Don’t worry about it I’ll burn you a dvd!

Crosshair: *standing outside the Marauder* Hunter! I have brought you a hand drawn greeting card! It says “Roses are red. Posies are green. Sorry about Bracca, I was too mean. Your pal, Crosshair” :) Hunter: *walks out and shreds the card*

Hunter: Get up here. That’s an order! Tech: *salutes* Permission to defy order? Hunter: Permission denied! Tech: Then I deny your denial (sorry)

Echo: *watching Hunter and Wrecker, captured and surrounded by stormtroopers* Well this hardly seems fair Echo: *jumps in a walker and defeats them easily* Told you it wasn't fair

*Phee and Tech kiss* Omega: *eyes being covered by Hunter* awww Wrecker: Finally!

[problemduetest4life]

short and chaotic Jean & Shawn oneshot

Once again, I am obsessed with Shawn Anderson in @kevinsdsy 's Trojans social media au. I did another little warm-up write about him. I don't know what else to say. Bon Appetit hehe

~

“Shawn. Thank God.”

Jean stormed across the lobby and grabbed his friend by the wrist as soon as he exited the elevator. His messy hair seemed even scruffier than normal, and his shirt was on backwards. Even being in the presence of Olympians couldn’t get him to straighten up, but that was Shawn after all. At this point, it didn’t matter. Jean was desperate for someone to talk to.

Shawn’s eyes were wide as Jean tugged him towards the door.

“Jean, I—”

“Please, can we go for a walk? I need to cleanse my brain. I cannot...” Jean trailed off as the images flashed in his brain. He let go of Shawn and went out the doors of the hotel, hoping he was following him.

“Listen—” Shawn tried again.

“I have seen things. I have seen things I cannot unsee,” Jean said, throwing a look over his shoulder before scrubbing a hand across his face. “I blame Cat. She sent me to see if Derek had any conditioner left and...”

Jean shuddered.

The scene he had walked on had been disturbing at the very least. Cat had handed him the key card Derek had left behind when he had come to borrow one of their umbrellas and sent him on his mission. Jean swore he had knocked but as the more prominent parts of the memory took over, he couldn’t be entirely sure.

He had taken two steps into the room before he realized what and who he was walking in on. The sounds. The visual. The overall scene. Jean forced himself to pay attention to the store fronts they walked past.

Pastries. Awnings. Cigarette butts. Butts. Nope. Not butts.

“Derek may be pale, but his ass is paler,” Jean blurted out, before clapping a hand over his mouth. Shawn stopped dead in his tracks.

“What?” Shawn exclaimed. “Well, I mean...”

“He must’ve met someone somewhere. I don’t know,” Jean said, running a hand through his hair. “I didn’t see who, not really. I just walked in to the get the conditioner and then... Oh, God.”

Shawn had stopped to lean against a brick wall, obviously in some sort of shock. Jean could relate. It was very different seeing nakedness in the locker room versus the bedroom. For the very first time in his life Jean felt the strong urge to drink. He looked back up at Shawn and then it clicked.

“Shawn, I’m sorry. I know you’re with Derrick now, but you had that crush on Derek. I should have been more sensitive. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Upset? No. I’m golden,” Shawn said, removing one hand from his chest to give Jean a thumbs up. “You said you didn’t see who he was with?”

“No,” Jean said. “I can only be sure it was Derek. I just shouted an apology and ran.”

Jean was not particularly proud of the way he handled it, but it was an impossible situation. The only thing worse would be facing Derek the next time he saw him. I’ll just pretend nothing happened, Jean decided.

“Shawn, please say something. You’re always saying something. Why are you being quiet?” Jean asked.

“I’m not being quiet!” Shawn defended. “I just— I also wouldn’t know what to do.”

“Well, I can’t tell anyone!” Jean exclaimed.

“No,” Shawn agreed with a big nod. “No, you cannot.”

“He’s dating anyone, but still...”

“Exactly. And it’s not like the person he was hooking up with is dating someone but was granted permission to hook up with Derek.”

“Right,” Jean said. “Wait, what?”

“Nothing,” Shawn said. “Just...shooting the shit.”

Good, Shawn’s back to normal, Jean thought before setting off again. He finally able to take a full breath. The trip to Paris had unlike any team trip Jean had been on before. The combination of the Trojan’s good-natured antics and the Foxes’ ill-mannered chaos had brutal for anyone in their vicinity or whoever followed them on Twitter. Jean doubted anyone would make it out of media training once they all returned.

“Hey, can we slow down?” Shawn asked from behind him. Jean paused his stride for Shawn to catch up. They stop in front of a café.

“Coffee?” Jean asked, tilting his head towards the patio of tables. Shawn bit his lip. “Unless, you have to get back to something?” It wasn’t like Shawn to refuse anything with sugar involved.

“Yeah, let’s do it,” Shawn said finally, shooting Jean a grin. Then he looked down at his backwards shirt and threw up his hands. “Fuck it. That was totally me with Derek.”

~

[baiyubai]

weilan university students!au anyone? I almost dumped this on the WIP stage but then @the-marron bribed me into finishing

the bribe is under the cut

Zhao Yunlan is barely awake this morning, which means that his awareness of anything leaves a lot to be desired. The fact that he managed to stumble into the right train with only minimal amounts of bumping into people is already far above Zhao Yunlan’s own expectations for today, so he feels excused that it took him an embarrassingly long while to notice he is being watched.

It's not exactly a new feeling, truth be told - Zhao Yunlan does attract attention, absolutely willingly and with intent, but he is fairly sure that his awake self is much more interesting than the zombie chewing on the lollipop in his mouth that he sees instead of his own reflection in the train’s window.

And yet. Someone is looking.

Subtlety is an art available only after noon in his experience, and so Zhao Yunlan looks around in a way that is as covert as he can make it - with dead stare and absolute lack of any finer thought marring his forehead, when he sees him - the Pretty One.

Zhao Yunlan has been aware of the Pretty One for a while now. He’s noticed him a few weeks ago when he was getting on the train with his eyes glued to a book in his hand. Zhao Yunlan's first thought was ‘oh, a nerd’. The second one was just ‘oh’, because the man raised his eyes to search for some space where he and his book would not be a bother, letting Zhao Yunlan see his face clearly.

And what a face it was.

Classic poets didn't know shit when they described otherworldly beauties because this guy is just perfect.

And now he is staring at Zhao Yunlan.

He is seated a bit away, by the window, staring at Yunlan rather unashamedly. Maybe he truly believes in the zombie impression and doesn't think he’s been noticed.

Maybe he is simply judging Zhao Yunlan's clothes - he is pretty sure he wore the same hoodie yesterday, and since apparently he and the Pretty One share their everyday commute to the university, he had to notice.

Well, it is the only one not stained with coffee, so the Pretty One would have to deal.

Trying to make this a bit less awkward, Zhao Yunlan looks down at the book in the guy's hand and almost jolts. Biology?

Shit. This one is smart.

Pretty, but out of Yunlan's league and most probably an asshole - all the sciency types were either assholes, or insane or both.

Well, better to check than regret, Zhao Yunlan thinks.

Even if he decides that Zhao Yunlan looks like an idiot. 

***

Zhao Yunlan looks as great as usual, Shen Wei decides, feeling heat in his cheeks and his neck.

Of course, he looks his best when he is animated and talking to his friends, surrounded by people who adore him, smiling and sharing his knowledge with a smile and a joke - Shen Wei sees him often on his way back from the tutoring sessions, after Zhao Yunlan leaves his own club. He’s never managed to come closer, intimidated by Zhao Yunlan's usual circle, and besides, in the evenings Shen Wei only shares a two stations-long ride with Zhao Yunlan, because of his job.

That's why Shen Wei prefers the mornings.

The mornings are just for them - they get on the same station and leave at the one closest to the university, parting ways when the crowd of other students swallows them and carries them towards the gates.

But before that, Zhao Yunlan is more often than not just within the reach. Today, he looks tired - there are shadows underneath his eyes and his gaze seems a bit unseeing: it’s stopped on Shen Wei, but there is no light of recognition, no surprise at some random guy watching him like he is the best part of his day, and so Shen Wei allows himself to look some more.

He cannot help but feel a bit worried - is it lack of sleep? Illness? He doesn't know.

He doesn't even know what Zhao Yunlan studies really, he didn't catch that when listening to the conversations for such a short time. All he knows is the other man’s name, his route, and the fact that the mere sight of him makes Shen Wei’s heart do stupid things.

It's plenty enough.

Shen Wei should look back to his book - the discussion will most likely rest on his shoulders again and he should be better prepared for Professor Ouyang’s questions, but his eyes refuse to move.

There is something thrilling in having Zhao Yunlan's attention, as illusory as it is. Shen Wei is not fooling himself here, he knows that Yunlan is looking past him, just letting his unfocused gaze rest on something, but even so, Shen Wei is glad to have this semblance of a contact.

With his coursework loaded as it is, with the tutoring sessions and the part-time job at the museum, Shen Wei doesn't have time to make friends.

All he has is this train ride and Zhao Yunlan's handsome profile.

He wonders what would happen if they talked. He probably wouldn't like Shen Wei much, losing interest after a few sentences, realising that Shen Wei is just as boring as he looks, but maybe he would smile before that? He would offer his name, a handshake maybe?

Something changes in Zhao Yunlan's eyes suddenly, and Shen Wei looks down onto his book immediately, feeling caught.

He feels Zhao Yunlan's gaze on himself for a long time, staring at the words without comprehension, but it's better than seeing accusation or disgust in Zhao Yunlan's eyes.

For the first time in forever, Shen Wei is glad that the train reaches the destination. He packs his book and adjusts his glasses, heading straight towards the door. He will not check if Zhao Yunlan is here.

Once outside, Shen Wei breathes a sigh of relief. He doesn't know where Zhao Yunlan is, but it's fine. He can observe him again in the evening after all, even if for a short while.

“Hello there,” someone behind his back says, making Shen Wei’s heart leap like a rabbit. He knows that voice. “Want to go together?”

When Shen Wei turns, he is faced with Zhao Yunlan's bright, friendly smile, the lollipop stick still in his mouth.

“Go?” He repeats dumbly.

The answer makes Zhao Yunlan chuckle.

“To the uni. I am conducting an experiment!”

Shen Wei blinks. People are milling around them in haste and some small part of his brain insists that they should move too, or they would be late, but that part seems not to be aware that Zhao Yunlan. Is. Talking. To Shen Wei.

“Ah. What is it?” He manages heroically, not stumbling on his words even once.

Zhao Yunlan grins.

“The ‘how many eye contact until date’ experiment.”

Shen Wei’s mind comes to a very violent halt.

[canisalbus]

Now that you mentioned the lightness under Vasco's eyes, I cannot unsee it.

Good to hear it's visible to you! Like I said, it accentuates his eyes a little bit, makes his expressions brighter and more open.

Vasco is, by the way, overwhelmingly the more complicated one to draw out of them two. It could be the fact I have way more experience drawing Machete so his shapes tend to come from muscle memory to some degree, while for Vasco it's regularly trial and error. His big ears, as cute and characteristic they are, always take a little bit of positioning so that they don't cover his face but also aren't too covered by anything else. I still struggle with the colors of his fur a lot of the time. While for Machete I only have to use four colors (base cream white + three different shades of light salmon pink for gradients, inner ear and nose), Vasco takes probably closer to seven or eight if I really put effort to it. I expect this part to become easier as time passes and my process gets streamlined a bit (I mean I hope so at least) but right now I'm spending about two or three times as much time drawing Vasco compared to Machete.

[ruiniel]

Re your or if bounds explicit post- what about alucard having to drink reader's blood out of necessity and discovering his bite has an aphrodisiac effect? So he goes from starving-near-feral to having to sate other needs 🥴

Love your work, and hope you're having a wonderful day! 💙

Another classic... Since it's the winter solstice, tried to add your prompt into something thematic. Two parts.

The closest warmth

Fandom: Castlevania series (2017-2021)

Pairing: Alucard x Reader

Rating: M/🔞

Count: 2.3k

Tags & Warnings: aftermath of violence, injury, developing relationship, mutual pining, a pinch of winter solstice magic, unresolved emotional tension, He's just So, Second Person POV, hurt/comfort, blood kink, angst, denial, vampirism, eventual smut, a lot of smut, in part II that's all it is really

Also on AO3

I.

His face is gaunt and his eyes are restless as he looks at you standing in the doorway.  

He’s never been much of a liar, you think, the crumbling facade he tries to keep in place as obvious proof.  

“Please leave.”

You’re still there, a hand on your chest, covering the hot spiral of life within. 

“But you’re hurt.”

“I’m… well aware of that,” Adrian mutters, fumbling with medical supplies, scattering them in the process.

It is useless, since the bounty hunter's blade was coated in an alchemical blend that hinders his fast-healing abilities. You stare at the trickled trail of blood following in his wake, your breath trembling in your lungs. 

He’s long shrugged off his coat, and his gloves lie somewhere on the desk. There is a blooming pattern of blood on his white shirt, right below his ribs. You approach even as he falls into a chair, a needle between his teeth as he undoes his garment, concentrating on cleaning the gash; biting down a hiss.

“Let me,” you say, and when he’d usually scoff and decline, his lashes now tremble as he raises his face to look at you, his hand pressed over the compress to the wound. “Please?”

You kneel beside him without waiting for a reply, “You’ll mend,” you slowly peel away the soaked cloth, rising and finding a bowl to throw it in.

“I… know, I…” your eyes meet as you urge him to change position, and great is your surprise when, for once, Adrian complies with your ask. His face is ashen, and sweat beads on his forehead where silver-gold strands kiss the skin. 

The surgical area provides more items, and swiftly you go and return, bearing other vials and bottles.

He’s taught you some of this, mostly to help yourself—you now wonder at the irony, but commend his foresight. “You needn’t… I can—” Adrian tries, interrupted by a gasp as you apply more pressure to staunch the bleeding. 

“I know you can.” Where is this implausible calm coming from? It seems the lessons haven’t been useless. “But this is faster, isn’t it?” He hasn’t wasted his time on you and a part of you is proud enough to think about it, but not petty enough to bring it up now.

You stare back at him and catch the exhaustion in his eyes, taking root in his composure: he’s turned to sit on the table at your behest, leaning back on his arms. You both escaped with your lives, and the gratitude you feel is only surpassed by the heaviness in your chest because the truth is: it hurts to see his pain. 

But he’s a brave one, the scar crossing his torso a reminder you cannot unsee. The smell of raw flesh and his panting breaths washing over you is more distracting than you’d thought. 

It’s a silent sign of trust, you know, him being here, allowing you to touch him, allowing you to help. Great strides have been made before, despite the wall he still keeps between himself and anyone else with a heart. 

When it’s over and you unwind, the signs of depletion show themselves—he knows it too. His eyes say more than he’s capable of conveying. I’m sorry I’m weak. I’m sorry I needed you. 

And then you’re helping him to his chamber, slowly crawling by the walls in silence, his form stooped and movement sluggish, lacking the speed or elegance you’re used to. 

When he falls into bed, his eyes close, features smoothed by relief. 

Wiping your forehead with your sleeve, you can’t help but feel the same. You sit on the opposite edge of the bed for a moment to catch your breath, to let the reality of this settle. The room is dimly lit, the soft glow of the bedside lamp casting a gentle shadow on the walls. Silence hangs in the air, broken only by the faint hum of the wind. The scent of disinfectant lingers, as does the sight of his raw flesh. “I’ll come by to check on you.”

There comes no answer, and when you look his way, Adrian has already fallen unconscious. 

A shivering ray spills light over your eyes. Groggily, senses return, as does the need to stretch and move. You find yourself in a strange place. It’s not until your eyes meet Adrian’s, that you remember where you last were—and still are. You’ve fallen asleep right across from him, in his bed, something that any other time might have caused a rush of heat and an urgent need to disappear. 

Your unlikely patient looks at you, a lost expression on his face.

“I slept where I lay, didn’t I?”

“Yes.” And he leaves it at that.

“How are you feeling?”

He shakes his head, and you slide off the bed, going around it. “Fever,” you say as you check. He’s burning, and that sends a spiral of worry down your gut. 

You leave quietly, only to reappear with water, kitchen scraps, and willow bark extract discovered in the laboratory. You’re slightly out of breath, but Adrian makes it easy—he’s silent throughout, barely a groan of pain as you check on the wound, met with visible signs of infection.

“Damn this,” the words escape as your self-assurance crumbles, but you attempt to clean the area as well as you can. 

A hand is placed over yours. “Leave it.”

It rankles how he disregards not only himself but you as well. As if he’s the only one who cares if he lives or dies.

“Truly?” you ask, and the rush of everything comes through the one word, but you don’t look at him as you finish your task. “Do you remember anything at all to help?”

Adrian looks at the ceiling with glassy eyes. “No.”

You rise, desperate to prove him wrong. Your gaze is drawn to the outside, where blankets of snow engulf the world, falling and falling. There is something. There must be.

“Adrian. Adrian, look!” You all but trip in your rush to his side, thrusting a manuscript in his line of sight. “I told you there’s something. Here.”

Still fevered, he throws one apathetic glance at the page, then averts his gaze with a sigh.

There’s a strange irregularity within, as though your heart has failed its rhythm. “You knew.” The manuscript lands on the bed. “You knew, and you said nothing?! Adrian, this will mend you.” You kneel by the side of the bed. 

“No,” he murmurs. “I’ve never done that before.”

Impotent ire. “That’s not a reason to disregard a good chance.”

He looks your way then, with a wretchedness that bares him to you, spirit and fears and all.

“Nothing will happen. It’s… think of it as a medical procedure.”

Adrian shakes his head, brow knitting in pain. “Enough… No.”

Your fists are shaking on the sheets. “Do you want to die that badly?”

Silence. 

“Do you really… not care about anything?” If your voice is frantic, bordering on hysterical, you’re past caring.

Adrian swallows, tired eyes staring at the ceiling. “I don’t… want to harm you.”

Gently, you cup his cheek; he leans into the touch, and desperate affection makes your eyes sting. “I’m not afraid.”

His dry lips part as you slowly rise, but no words come out, nothing to prevent you from crawling up onto the cold bed. “I want you to heal, so you can be your own insufferable self again, all right?” 

Adrian minds not the barb, but frissons wrack his body all the stronger. 

Desperate, you undo the fastenings at your neck, baring skin with methodical care and shaking fingers even as his gaze flies to the soft fluttering beneath. Now you know what would help, but knowing something is not the same as having the courage to offer it. 

The closest warmth to take, to regain balance…

He watches your collected demeanor with a clenched jaw, lying there as helpless as you’ve never seen him. “Adrian.”

He presses his eyes closed, but you feel the weak slide of his fingers between your shoulder-blades when you prop a palm by his head. “You’re shaking,” he says.

“No more than you.” You steal a glance outside, to the hypnotic dance of falling snow, feeling cold fingers gliding to cup your head—but then. “No, I’m… I’m sorry. This is not fair, you’re vulnerable and… I shouldn’t be doing this, I didn’t mean to force this on you…” you slowly take to righting yourself, a ray of reason hissing in your heart like a hot iron bar.

“... Wait …” 

The word, spoken so weakly, has a power on its own—your eyes fly open, meeting his. His skin is ashen, the amber of his eyes dulled, a visible shade, a wraith in the lengthening twilight. “Adrian…” you murmur, tirade ceasing, body mellowing on the thought you don’t voice: I can’t lose you now, in this way. 

And even as the thought dies, your body follows the slow heed of his touch, lower: your clothes feel like shackles over skin even as his grip turns rigid, as your breath washes over his cheek when your face is pressed to the sheets.

“Thank you,” he says, a wisp spoken as his cold nose presses to your skin. 

An arm is wound around your waist, his other hand in your hair; your heart beats against him—now you hear it, slow as dripping honey but it’s there. 

Your eyes press shut against all thoughts of turning away, though this is the very last trial you thought you’d ever be in: of cold fangs grazing skin and your defenses. 

Pain. You might have wailed, or perhaps not, but shadows creep upon the walls as the awful sensation shoots through your being, akin to a burning cut; you are still against him, paralyzed. The ache subsides as swiftly as it burst, and you find yourself listening: to the nervous, imperceptible tautness of muscles beneath, cording around you. A soft groan pressed into your neck, the subtle bob of his throat with each swallow.

The world raging outside is shut away, your perception narrowed to the coil of heat at your center, brimming like a freshly kindled fire. His arm winds around you tighter, the fingers at the nape of your neck trace up and down, feeling every nook in your spine before gliding up again.

Your voice has long left you though your mouth opens to—speak, but all it yields are incoherent sounds, and a wildness ripens inside as you feel the strength returning to his limbs, now winding around you, holding you impossibly tight. It feels… good; exquisite. You murmur or moan, you’ve stopped caring, dropped all inhibitions like old garments no longer suited. You’d want more, or was that him? Your mind melds with something indefinable, as weaved as your bodies have become. You realize this late as a delirious warm lick traces your skin, slowly lapping with a tenderness that quickens your breaths, now that you’ve come to hear them again.

Reality seeps into your mindless wandering, sensations and all, and you perceive what is: at some point, he’s dragged you atop him; his arm is painfully tight across your form, fingers digging into the soft flesh of your rear. You find it difficult to breathe, rising and falling with his chest, so overwhelmingly afire you could fall apart here and now; something hardens against your abdomen, and the slightest of movements elicits a gasp. 

“...Adrian?” You try moving your hips, while a remote part of you thinks it not a good idea in the slightest—but you haven’t a care in the world to show for it. You try again; there’s no answer but a delicious, hot twitch against your abdomen, and a sigh. “Are you…”

He nods against you, his fingers slackening in your hair as you move your head, and dizziness takes hold. The room is spinning, so you focus on him. You ask him, wordlessly, was it enough, did it work? 

The soft stains on his lips should make you uneasy—perhaps? But all you want, all you desperately want is to kiss them off, to taste the bright red. 

And Adrian stares at you with bright copper irises, with drunkenness you've never seen on his features since you've known him. You can’t place it, but it speaks of something you also feel: more. 

Your hand reaches, slowly, to feel along his ribs, gingerly following the bandaged area as you hold his gaze: there’s nothing but hot skin where a grievous wound had been moments ago, and the purest relief has you crashing all over again, the blood leaping in your veins. You let yourself fall slack against him, hands catching in his hair, forehead pressed to his collarbone. “I was so worried… damn it, you’re so stubborn, so-so stubborn…”

It’s the realization of what you’ve done and what you’re doing now that hits like a bucket of ice-cold water. Somewhere between hunger and mortification, you’re trapped in a pitiful balancing act, and you rise so suddenly that your head spins anew. 

“Careful,” Adrian speaks, appearing to regain himself, slower than you to awaken from his trance. His touch weaves off you like silk as you suddenly rise, untangling yourself from him and falling to the side.

You stare, feeling the loss: he looks so alive, visibly better in health, golden in the weak candlelight as he watches you with that same vulnerability from before—and saying nothing.

Outside, night has fallen early, and offhandedly you remember it’s supposed to be one of the longer ones. A blizzard has begun to wail, rising harshly in your ears. Everything reaches deeper, sounds seem to burrow higher and lower than before, and colors vibrate like tiny heartbeats. “I’ll… I have to go. I’m glad, glad-you’re-better.” 

Adrian calls your name once but does not attempt to stop you even as you struggle out of bed, nearly falling over while setting yourself free from the sheets and rushing off on wobbling legs. You make it to the door, towards a pathetic escape.

Something aches and feels as out of place as you do. Leaning against the frigid walls you smother it or try, but the fire burns low in your abdomen, trailing behind you like blood loss as you walk away. 

TBC

[tamaotomoe]

moving observation threads from twitter to here because site's on fire now lmao.

i think its interesting that don quixote’s current ids are all two sides of an extreme that comes from her current incarnation’s middle ground of deluded, but not mad, yet still deaf to the reality of the city and its fixers.

disclaimer that i haven't finished don quixote yet, i'm still partway through reading, but i have seen and listened to summaries.

first, w corp and shi association

this is the don quixote that has been swung too far and too hard into reality that it breaks her (admittedly, one much harder than the other, but still). much like throwing a child into a whirlpool to teach them how to swim, don quixote is plunged deep headfirst into the innate cruelty and suffering that the city runs on.

w corp don shows us the moment where she breaks. (a note, the way the narrator reads here is quite perfect for the city, no? the truth behind the carriages is something to be abhorred and disgusted by, but because this is the nightmare hypercapitalist hellscape that is the city, it is merely something to take disgust at once and learn to deal with it.)

shi association don quixote is the one that's already far, far too deep in the hole to ever go back to her old self. just took several baseball bat hits to her psyche for years and years. of course, how could this not happen? it takes a maniac to think that assassinating people on the whims of whoever pays you no questions asked is how an idealized hero of justice should act.

she can still act like her usual, jovial self, cracking jokes and being happy, but this mask is much thinner, and is such; just a mask hiding her true, broken self. she cannot unsee what has been seen, and her ideals have to contend with the reality that she is seeing. she can try to abide by those once lofty, knightly ideals, but in these ids, the city will crush it over and over again.

(hey fun fact i did this study/observation because i noticed that w corp don quixote's out of combat passive is called "broken spirit". for a long time i assumed it was n sinclair's until i looked closer lmao)

and now we have n corp don quixote!

this is the delusion cranked to an absolute maximum, uncaring, unhearing, unseeing of everything but whatever justice she deems fit. there is no person more terrifying than one who commits atrocities fully believing that they are in the right.

how don quixote could even end up like this, i think is quite possible. i would think that for someone who idealizes justice, just the right words, the right kind of manipulation can easily sway her into nagel und hammer's fold. i certainly find it a likelihood that the one who grips faust could just go "heyyyy we're good guys trust us we're the true justice :)" but like you know with more tact and manipulation and don quixote would probably fall very hard into that.

ironically, by falling, she betrays the ideals that once guided her, but being fed nagel und hammer's doctrine like this, i imagine that she still wholly believes that this is justice, this is the ideal, not noticing that what she once was is dug so far and deep into her delusion that it is not even by her own will that she walks, it is now the one who shall grip faust that will tell her call her to heel or run or attack.

for a bit of fun symbolism, in the story for nagel und hammer donqui, she still wears rocinante (her sweet sneaks bro!!!) under her armour.

if don quixote states as such, that they are comrades that bring justice together, then she has failed. that justice is long gone and buried under doctrine, and the final remnant of that justice, rocinante, has been covered up in the armour of an inquisitor, never to tread the earth nor see that ideal justice enacted ever again.

with all this, i conclude that i think that what don quixote's story will be about is the balance of seeing reality in front of her for what it is, learning how to accept this and yet still stand strong and sturdy despite it, holding onto those hopeful ideals that guided her so far and continues to guide her without straying from her path.

i think she shall grow into someone who the city can harm her as much as it likes, but no matter what, she will not bow nor break.

[readingsquotes]

"I’ll never be able to forget my own experience pushing my college to divest......I’ll never forget the look I got from one administrator as I entered their building. We had been camped outside for two weeks at that point, and even though the woman who saw me had no idea who I was, she knew exactly who I was. She knew my presence, our presence, meant disruption. And few things are more sacred to the neoliberal institution than avoiding disruption, even when the status quo is harmful investment in fossil fuel corporations, or genocide. And so my presence scared this administrator, and the cops were there within minutes. The feeling of being a student and having the university resort to violence rather than speak with you is immensely hard to forget.

But so too are the broader lessons I learned in student organizing. The feelings are indelible, and yet the bigger picture, the structural knowledge you receive when you go up against a large and powerful institution, stuck with me too. .... I had learned that universities didn’t quite work the way I had imagined. Growing up they had seemed to me, from a distance, to be centers of knowledge and places where life looks a little more like it’s supposed to; people pursue learning and community and aren’t as constrained by work and stress. And there’s a significant kernel of truth to that, but behind the facade is a power structure that cares infinitely more about investments and real estate than the student body. That truth has become more and more real over time, and has been violently laid bare by the boards and administrations themselves in recent weeks. ...

The impact of protest right now matters immensely. It’s impossible to quantify how important it would be if the movement for a Free Palestine in the West built enough power to force our countries to stop funding ethnic cleansing, to stop arming genocide, to stop supporting apartheid. The lives that have been lost are irreplaceable, and the lives that could be saved are invaluable. And, at the same time, we’re seeing millions of people, young and old and everything in between, change in profound ways. In that fact lies the reality that Gaza and Palestinians and this movement we’re seeing all around us are altering the future just as they work to alter the present.

One of the many driving forces changing how people across the globe think, not only about Zionism but about imperialism and society at large, is the simple fact that we cannot unsee what we have seen. ...Decades of propaganda began to fracture in recent years, and shattered in recent months. But it’s more than that – for millions of people across the world there’s also no unseeing U.S. complicity. There’s no unseeing how Israel and the U.S. are virtually alone at the UN, on the world stage, working to protect a genocidal state and enable a genocide again and again. Even as Israel kills yet another UN worker, bringing the total to 190 slain employees of the United Nations, the enabling and participation in Israel’s genocide continues. 

People cannot simply forget these actions, these choices that the U.S. and Israel make day after day. I say that as a hope more than as a fact. ...And while students are not facing repression that can be compared to what the Black Panthers and others have faced, they are repeatedly facing mass violence from the state as well as vigilantes. They have also seen how little their schools care about them, how little their government cares about them, and how deeply invested our entire system is in war and imperialism.

..Students who have been attacked, and people everywhere who have seen horrors in Gaza beyond our comprehension, cannot simply forget. We’ve seen how violence abroad is connected to fascism at home. We’ve seen how Israel’s genocide in Gaza is connected to the war machine here in the United States. We’ve seen how it all comes together in a society structured to deprive the many so the few can hoard wealth and resources. Whatever comes next, there’s no turning back. We will struggle towards a better system, both because we want to see it come into existence and because we don’t have the option to return to a healthy status quo. We can’t turn back to the society we might be nostalgic for. That world doesn’t exist anymore; a new one must be built."

[honey-minded-hivemind]

hi again I have a idea for yandere parent wolverine and storm,and yandere uncle Victor [ the animated series] x child reader.who is 10 old. now we all know that Logan and Victor are not bff's but make no mistake ,Victor loves reader just as much as wolverine and storm do.so when reader gets kidnapped by weapon x .will all I can say is....pray for their souls.so what do you think .

Oh. My. Gourd.

Now, Sabretooth loves his baby brother; make no mistake. But, since his brother so unhelpful cannot remember they're brothers, or even used to lioe each other, he's been rather... brutal, with him.

But no one messes with their kid, his NIBLING, amd expects to walk away with their legs still attached.

And the Weapon X b*stards? If they're the ones who tried to kidnap Reader?

HA! They're triple dead! Leave it to Victor to tear them apart piece by bloody piece, to torture them for the next few days, to feed them to the crows and buzzards for lunch, amd make their bones the dessert for the Wolves!

Wolverine and Storm don't care much for the bloody, vengeful ways of Sabretooth, but they'll gladly team up with him if it means getting Reader back. It doesn't mean they'll let their child near their uncle, but while the two ferals dispose of their enemies, Storm can take Reader back home, clean them up, amd help soothe them, comforting comforting and shielding them from the more deadly side of their father, the side that won't stand for anyone who hurts them to live...

(@roxanndrummond I like it! I like adding extra characters to some stories, and I now can't unsee Victor being Reader's favorite uncle, who tries to hide the scarier side of himself from them... And who maybe tries to kidnap his brother and nibling so they can visit him, and not leave for a few days, and because Logan never visits him anymore...)

[doomwitctheories]

YOU and HIM is an 18+ visual novel. Minors, refrain from interacting.

So... as an Audhder with special interest in videogames and animals, those two things may overlap once.

... or multiple times.

Just for fun, I'm using one of my favorite visual novels to gush about animals, much like a game theory episode.

Two disclaimers before we start. Even tho I'm very interested in zoology, I'm not an expert, so it's very likely I will make mistakes. Secondly, I'm not a native English speaker, so there's a chance I'll make your eyes bleed with bad grammar.

By the way, trigger warnings:

Animal mating behavior and genitalia. Predators and hunting. Carnivorous plants.

If you're uncomfortable with that, skip this post in its entirety.

Adam is a spotted hyena.

Adam is cat coded.

Cunning perceptiveness, playful taunting, antisocial behavior...

He's the human equivalent to an angry cat.

Except, this man doesn't take breaks.

Felines are carnivores focused on precision rather than resistance. Their strikes are deadly and expertly calculated, but they don't have much stamina. As a result, they generally need long periods of rest.

But this man is built like a fucking train. Adam is relentless, and he doesn't even look tired while chasing their target to the ends of the Earth.

That determination is usually attributed to canines.

Then, how come he has both the cat-like feel and the endurance of a dog?

That's when it hit me. Hyenas.

Spotted hyenas are the most dog-like members between the felines. They're tremendously intelligent, and utilize planning and deceit to get their way. Unlike other hyenas, spotted hyenas aren't scavengers, but hunters. Much like canines, they can and will hunt their preys to exhaustion.

Also, they live in matriarchal societies, which reminded me of Adam's undying love and respect for his mom (presumably).

Also! Also! (And this is specially rad). Hyenas are literally the embodiment of consent. Why? Well, female reproductive organs have evolved to look similar to their male counterparts. The advantage of this is that, to mate, female hyenas have to retract their pseudo-penis to create an opening. Which essentially means, mating literally can't occur without consent. In other words, forcing copulation is physically impossible for hyenas.

...

(cough cough *male hyenas are subs, even if they outweigh their partners* cough cough)

Who said that!? Anyway.

There you have it. Adam is a spotted hyena. I cannot unsee it, and now you can't either.

Mermay season. If Adam is a tiger shark, then Saffron is a great white shark.

For Mermay, the creator of the game posted a beautiful drawing of Adam as a tiger shark.

(Which, by the way, has a lot of similarities to a hyena, starting with the spot patterns on their tail, that look very much like the fur of a spotted hyena. Another similar characteristic is their diet. Surprisingly varied, they will go after anything, really. Much like hyenas. Both are the "predator garbage eaters" of their respective ecosystems).

But this section isn't about tiger sharks as much as it is about Saffron.

If we look at the ranking of recorded fatal shark attacks, tiger sharks are really high up, only second to the great white shark. Which is odd because, even if either encounter is extremely rare, white sharks tend to be more curious and swim near boats and surfing areas, yet tiger sharks are up there in the rank right behind them. This leads me to believe that, under the same circumstances, tiger sharks are more likely to attack you than white sharks.

I find this comparison really fitting for the dynamic Adam and Saffron present in game. While Adam is the very first predator you encounter (tiger shark: more opportunistic, less selective), he's much easier to dodge than Saffron, who's much less likely to confront you himself, despite roaming around and studying you curiously, but once he's in court, you better pray (great white shark: less opportunistic, more selective).

Appearance-wise, white sharks and Saffron are also alike. Not only cause of the albino hair, that matches the shark's white belly, but cause of their pointed snout, which is considered an elegant feature.

Their hunting style is also similar to Saffron's, generally stalking their prey from below, to later launch a surprise attack that tends to be fatal on its own. I compare this to his bad end, in which he attacks YOU from behind, leaving you completely defenseless thanks to a powerful anesthetic.

In conclusion, we have found ourselves a deadly shark duo for the next mermay. Adam the tiger shark and Saffron the great white shark.

YOU are a Venus flytrap and Adam is doomed.

In literature, the femme fatale refers to a character (not necessarily a woman) that relies on seduction to bend their victims to their will.

YOU are at a disadvantage. Your opponent is larger, stronger, faster and more experienced than you. Much like insects, they have a set of tools and freedom of movement you simply don't.

How do you survive then?

You need to turn your opponent against themselves by messing with their biology.

The traps of the Venus flytrap are covered with a delicious nectar.

One sip of this nectar, and it's over for their prey, fly or otherwise.

Even if the insect doesn't trigger the trap at first and manages to flee, they will return on their own volition.

This is due to the addictive nature of their taste, that works like a drug. As insects enjoy their meal, they get increasingly wobbly and uncoordinated.

And the more they linger, the more drunk they get, until it's only a matter of time the flytrap honors their name.

As you can see, these plants are the eco-friendly version of the femme fatale.

They beckon their meal closer, with a promise of such sweetness that makes their judgement hazy, and before they realize it they're already too deep.

I think Adam would agree this perfectly represents YOU, even if you're only acting this way to escape the serial killer.

To further resemble the first encounter between YOU and Adam, these traps don't close on impact. They have a timer. A set of sensory hairs that signal the trap to close shut if an insect brushes them twice or more in the span of 30 seconds.

Their resources are scarce, so they play the waiting game and rely on precision in order to survive, for striking without the field secured could lead to their death.

YOU need to be patient and make sure Adam is intoxicated before stabbing him the first time. YOU play with your words and remain vigilant on any opening available to make your move. YOU rely on confusion and purposefully ignite strong emotional reactions on your opponents to take advantage.

YOU play the part of a Venus flytrap, that learned to lure and manipulate in order to make it when all the odds are against them.

Pretty cool if you ask me.

It's even better, because you aren't competing against an insect, but with a human.

And humans are social creatures.

This means, attachment is a key factor of their condition, and they can't get rid of things they're attached to.

And Adam is no different.

The more time he's around YOU, the more attached he will become.

This essentially means Adam can't hurt YOU without hurting himself in the process.

Just the thought of YOU fading away has him recalling memories of his mother's passing, and we've seen the impact his nightmares have on him.

If YOU died, Adam would be physically incapable of acting normally. He would start to slip up, behave erratically or lash out. He could be potentially forced into therapy, but recovery would take precious time Saffron can't afford to lose. Not to mention the irreversible hit to their reputation.

Worst case scenario, another member of the band could be replaced. But the main singer? Impossible.

In summary, it's only a matter of time both Adam and Saffron realize hurting YOU would mean the end of CAKE, which would ultimately grant your survival.

On the downside, YOU will have to deal with Adam "hunting" you for the rest of your life. And just because you're safe, doesn't mean your friends and closed ones share the same luck.

Links:

https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/marine-science/articles/10.3389/fmars.2019.00037/full

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiger_shark

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_white_shark

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotted_hyena

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venus_flytrap

[animeniacss]

So Close Yet So Far - Mingyu x Reader - Chapter 19 - What Have I Done?

Synopsis: Your college friend, Kim Mingyu, has had a grip on your heart since the first day you met. Over the past few years, as you acquired more friendships and memories, those feelings only grew. However, recently, Mingyu has seemed a bit more distant, at least when it comes to any ideas of romance. It only gets worse when rumors fly that he's off to Japan to receive a marriage proposal! Unsure what to do, you wonder how you can keep Mingyu by your side without jeopardizing your friendship or your growing feelings. You never expected that waking up one drunken morning next to two hot angels would be your ticket into Mingyu's heart.

Genre: Romance, College!AU, Modern Fantasy, Comedy, Angsty

Length: approx. 6.8k words

Chapter 19 - What Have I Done?

Mina’s desperate attempt to say your name one more time fell on deaf ears, because you simply repeated your comment: “Don’t. Talk. To. Me.”

“Please, I just have to...”

         “What? What else do you need to take from me?!” You asked. “That’s it! We are done here! You wormed your way into our lives and took everything from us. What else do you want?!” You motioned to the two men on either side of you. “Them?!”

“Woah, wait.” Jeonghan said quickly under his breath.

“My friends?! My college degree?!””

         “No, please.” Mina gulped. 

         “No, you don’t get to say please to me for anything! I cannot believe I let myself get fooled by you! The minute you told me you came here to be Mingyu’s wife i should have know not to trust you! But I’m an idiot, I will admit. The really thought you and I could be friends. But I was wrong. So now you have everything you came here for and you still ask me for more!? Give me a break!” 

         “Hey…” Joshua gripped your shoulder. “Take it easy.” You sniffled, feeling all of the tears you were holding back in the hallway with Mingyu finally begin to spill. 

         “I’m sorry.”

         “No you’re not!” You snapped. By now, the entire room had gone silent, staring at you. Mr. Kim and Mr. Miyou were stunned to silence, watching in shock. “How can you possibly be sorry? I can’t accept your apology!”

         “You need to listen, I-.”

         “I’m done listening! Listening to you got me here in the first place!” You sniffled. “It’s okay if you never liked me, but you claim to love Mingyu and yet you make him suffer like this! I just can’t understand!” Mina finally fell silent, unable to stop you long enough to utter a full sentence. “And you invited me for what? To suffer? It’s cruel after all I did to befriend you and try to see you beyond our feelings. And yet despite all of this, for some reason, I came because I wanted to see if he was truly happy. I just want him to be happy.”

         Mina pursed her lips together. She heard her father approaching, along with hotel security. Joshua and Jeonghan immediately took your arms.

         “We got her.” Joshua said quickly.

         “No need to make a bigger scene.” Jeonghan added. You turned to Jeonghan, who motioned to the door. “Let’s go, okay?” You nodded, before your eyes finally fell to Mingyu, who was standing just behind Mina, his father standing at his side and keeping him from getting closer. You shook your head. 

“Don’t invite me to the wedding.” You said simply. Mingyu’s mouth immediately closed as he watched you walk out, Joshua and Jeonghan on either side of you. The hotel security followed behind, seemingly making sure the three of you actually did end up leaving. When the door closed behind him, Mingyu ran a hand through his hair.

     “Ohhhh God. I fucked up, I fucked up so hard.” He gasped to himself. All he could see was your teary eyes and red face, a sight he would never unsee for as long as he lived. 

              “Don’t let that girl get you down.” His father said, a supportive pat too his shoulder. “Seems she’s crazier than we thought.” Mingyu couldn’t look at his father as he walked away with Mina’s. It took a few seconds for the rest of the party to devolve into its previous chatter, the music slowly replaying upon his father’s request. He watched as Mina immediately turned on her heel, heading down to the other side. Her friends from home immediately got up from their spots and swarmed her, comforting her from that ‘scary encounter’. Mingyu turned to the rest of his friends, and his expression only got more pained when he saw their looks of disapproval. “What do I do?” he choked out. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” 

                “End your engagement.” Seungkwan said simply.

               “But.”

               “End the engagement.” Hoshi repeated.

               “My father will-.”

            “Don’t end it.” A voice behind them alerted all of their attention. Jihoon stood there, hands in his pockets.

            “Pardon?” Minnie asked.

          “Whos side are you on again?” Seungkwan asked. Mingyu watched Jihoon approach him, patting his arm since he couldn’t reach his shoulder. His lips tightened at the realization of the height difference, the one thing that could bring Mingyu any slight bit of amusement in this moment.

        “Don’t dig yourself into any holes. It’ll work out just fine. Just give it some more time. For now.” He pointed to Mingyu’s eyes, which Mingyu only realized now were red and wet with tears. “Keep that expression.”

        “What?” Mingyu tried to turn back to Jihoon for more information, but he too strolled out of the party room, the doors once again closing behind him. He sighed, chewing the inside of his cheek when he heard his name called one final time. He turned his head, seeing Mina reapproaching him. He gasped for a breath of air, shaking his hair.

      “Yes?” he asked. Mina rubbed her eyes, sniffling. Mingyu kept his hands at his sides, despite the natural instinct to offer her a tissue. “Are you alright?”

         “I am. I think I deserved some of that…” she said softly. After a second of scanning the area, her eyes finally landed on his, and widened when she saw how upset he was. “You’re crying?” she asked softly.

         “Can you blame me?” he asked, finally raising a finger to rub his eyes. 

         Mina sighed. “I want to go home.” she said. “I’m exhausted.” Mingyu turned to his friends, who simply turned back to the table, forcing themselves out of the conversation. He looked to the door you strolled out of a few minutes ago. Sighing, he nodded.

         “So do I.” he said softly. He knew, however, the car he was going to get into would not take him home, but to the buidling he shared with Mina. He felt as though he deserved it. 

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

Mina sat on the bed in her room. She could hear Mingyu getting ready for bed himself in the other room, as he always did. She sat for a minute, listening to distant rustlings down the hall before rising up and heading down there herself. The hallway felt longer than it usually did tonight. She walked towards the door, reaching out and knocking on it once. Twice. Three times. When there was still no answer, Mina called out. “Mingyu?”

     After an eternity of silence, the door propped open. Mingyu rested himself on the door frame, and Mina felt herself take a second to take all of him in. He was in a loose tee shirt and sweatpants, his hair still a bit damp after a shower. This would be the part of the fairytale where he would smile down at her with his infectious grin, pulling her close to him and whispering sweet nothings about how amazing the night was.

     But as Mina recalled earlier in the evening, this was no fairytale. Mingyu’s smile was long since erased from the pages of her mind, and no matter how hard she tried, only blurry memories came to her now. Mingyu crossed his arms, resting his side against the door frame. Instead, he greeted her with puffy cheeks, and bags of exhaustion under his eyes that weighed his entire face down. “Yes?” He finally asked.

   “Uh.” Mina was suddenly at a loss for words. All she could picture was Mingyu staring you down in the hotel hallway. His eyes prickling with tears as he tried everything he could think of in the moment to suppress them. She knew what she wanted to say to him, she had been practicing it for weeks specifically for tonight. Why don’t you join me? We are engaged, after all. The words seemed so easy to say, but why were they stuck in the back of her throat? She opened her mouth one more time, and saw Mingyu patiently waiting for her to speak. I can’t. She thought, already anticipating the answer she feared most. She shook her head. “Never mind.” She finally said. “I’m sorry. Goodnight.”

        Mingyu nodded as Mina made her way back to her room. She heard him close his door only after she closed her own. Resting against the back of the door, she felt her legs give out all of the energy she had been trying her best to maintain through the day. Her feet were still throbbing from her heels, unable to support her anymore as she sank to the floor. Pulling her legs to her chest, she buried her head in her knees.

         When Mingyu’s smile did form clearly in her mind, you were at his side. Fighting over photos during the fireworks, playing chicken in the ocean, nestled close during breakfast the last morning as he tried to steal some of your bacon. 

         It’s okay if you never liked me, but you claim to love Mingyu and yet you make him suffer like this! I just can’t understand!

It was a cruel irony, but it was one Mina felt she deserved after what she has done. The pain in your voice sat like a dagger in her chest, and she curled up into herself in hopes to push that feeling away. 

   “What have I done?” she muttered to herself. “I’ve ruined everything. I’ll never see him smile again…”

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         Only son of Kim Law Firm celebrates new engagement – Christmas wedding in the works!

        You scoffed at the news title that was plastered on the front of the newspaper that morning and every morning since, tossing it into the garbage so you no longer had to look at the photos of the two together. It made you sick.

     It had been a month since the engagement party, and school already back into the swing for the new fall term. Mingyu had yet to show up on campus, and once again the rumors as to why began to spread. Only this time, they were backed up by evidence. Where they even rumors in that case?

     “I bet his new wife doesn’t want him on campus with some other girls…”

      “I thought the same thing! I wouldn’t let my husband anywhere near his first love. He’s probably taking all online classes.”

      “That’s so sad. He made my Korean law class just a bit more bearable, even if it was just the back of his head I saw…”

    “Why is this happening again?” you sighed, resting your head on the table of the library. You and your friends had agreed to meet up in the library that afternoon after the lunch rush came to an end. The rumors continued to follow you, latching onto you and sucking the life from your veins like vicious and toxic mosquitos on a hot summer day.

   “Don’t listen to them. They have no idea what they’re talking about.” Minnie assured, patting your shoulder.

  “Yeah.” Hoshi said. You finally lifted your head up when you heard footsteps approaching. Looking over, you saw Joshua and Jeonghan taking their seats beside you. They hadn’t mentioned Mingyu since you three left the engagement party, nor had they checked their symbols on your hands. You knew better than to ask, though each day you were itching to know even more. Maybe it was those pesky mosquitos leaving bites.

    “Please tell Jeonghan he’s in charge of dinner tonight.” Joshua said, his light-hearted comment causing you to look at him.

      “I cooked last night. You need to start pulling your weight.” Jeonghan sneered, poking Joshua’s head as he snickered in amusement.

       “I did breakfast.” He reminded. You rolled your eyes, closing your textbook. The duo was still playfully bickering until you quickly motioned your book in their direction. They flinched a bit, eyes wide as you simply set the book down and reopened to your page. “Hey!” He pouted. 

      “I’m not in the mood. You both want to keep staying at my house, you figure out the cooking.” You could practically hear the duo whine, and it only made you smirk as you flipped through the pages. 

    “You’re not a very nice tenant.” Joshua teased, but immediately looked away when you shot daggers in his direction.

Despite what had happened, and the duos hesitance to talk about it, you three had found a pretty comfortable routine in your apartment. One cooks breakfast, the other cooks dinner, and you always have a delicious meal waiting for you after a long day. At first the duo did it to help you as you got over your emotions. However, it remained this way even a month later. None of you complained. Well, until now. “I think we should get something to eat tonight, anyway.” You said. 

      Hoshi gasped, leaning forward. “Dinner party at your house?” he asked.

    “What?” Despite the shock of the question, a grin formed on your face.

  Minnie’s eyes widened. “I’ll bring the drinks.” Minnie cheered.

  “I’ll grab snacks.” Seungkwan said, and Hoshi agreed to help.

  “ Chicken .” Joshua and Jeonghan beamed. You laughed a bit.

        “Uh, okay then. We can study, then.” Closing your textbook seemed to seal the deal. The idea of having plans tonight made you feel pretty good for the night ahead. You scanned the table as everyone seemed to chat with one another about the night ahead, seemingly more excited the more options were thrown onto the table. However, for some reason, you pictured the night ahead, a thought creeped into your head. One thought that you assumed had long since abandoned you. 

              I wonder what Mingyu’s doing tonight….

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       “We’ll be right back!” Joshua called, both him and Jeonghan already out the door. You waved them off, taking the time alone to set up some snacks for your friends when they arrived. The group chat was buzzing with everyone sending texts about their arrival. Hoshi kept spamming the chat with photos, and you smiled at each one came into view.

          Prawn-flavored chips.

          Ice cream.

         Seungkwan’s face.

         A blurry picture of Seungkwan’s face.

         Hoshi giving a piece sign.

           Jihoonie would totally love that last one. You snorted at Minnie’s text as it flashed onto the chat. Both Hoshi and Jihoon frantically began telling her through text that she needed to mind her business, and it only made you laugh harder. As you finished setting up the last of the snacks in bowls, you sat on the couch. Immediately after sitting, your eyes came face to face with the dust-collecting snowglobe on your book shelf. You exhaled. “I’ve been meaning to put those away.” you mumbled to yourself in hopes it would finally give you the motivation to do so. It didn’t. Instead, you were brought back to when Mingyu first gave that to you. 

         “Wow, how cute!” Mingyu smiled as you took it into your hands, examining it. “Is this the Statue of Liberty inside?”

         “Yeah.” he said happily. “It’s much bigger up close.” You laughed a bit, shaking the globe and watching as the fake snow danced around it. “I hope you like it.”

         “I love it!” You gasped. “I feel like I’m really there just by looking.” Mingyu smiled a bit as you shook it once again, continuing to circulate the little snow particles inside. “It’s so cute…” you breathed again in excitement. 

         “Yeah…” Mingyu breathed, looking at your expression brighten the more you shook the globe. He coughed into his hand. “Hey, uhm…I wanted to tell you something.” He said. Your eyes shot up to him, sparkling in excitement as you waited to hear what else he had to say. “Ah.” Mingyu laughed nervously to himself. “I-.”

         “Hm?” You cocked an eyebrow. 

         “...Want to see pictures of Time Square? It’s huge.” When he held up his phone, you gasped, nodding in excitement. Mingyu scooted closer to you, holding out his phone as he began scrolling through the pictures.

         A small smile formed on your lips as you remembered the excitement you had as he showed you pictures of New York, telling you stories of him time seeing all of the major buildings in the area. It was fascinating. “He must have wanted to tell me how he felt then, too…” you mumbled to yourself, chuckling a bit at the realization that was just a little bit to late. Eyes fell to the windchime above your balcony entrance, and the same thing: Mingyu gave it to you, tried to confess, yet got cold feet and simply told you about his trip. Again, the smile forming on your face was widening, and you chuckled.

         “...I really need to take this stuff down.” you said again, biting your lip. Before you could do last minute spring cleaning, you heard a knock at the door. Thinking it was Minnie or Seungkwan, you hopped up. “Coming!” you called. You picked up your phone, taking a minute to scan through the constant flow of messages to see if one of them said they had already arrived. None did. “Huh.” You pursed your lips, heading to the door anyway. Another knock, and you picked up the pace. “Sorry. Coming!” you called once again.

           Reaching forward, your hand gripped the doorknob, turning it and pulling the door towards you. As it swung open, you looked ahead to see a familiar head of long, black hair. A familiar porcelain face and a familiar set of moles decorating that face. Déjà vu raced through your brain, a marathon being ran in a matter of seconds. “Mina?” you finally managed to gasp out.

       “Hey.” She smiled softly. “Bad time?”

You stared at Mina in awe for a few seconds. “What…” you felt your breath catch in your throat. “What are you doing here?” You asked. Mina seemed to think of her answer for a second.

        “I wanted to talk to you.” She finally chose to say. “Is this a bad time?”

        “Uh, yeah.” You said. “My friends are coming over and-.”

        “I’ll be quick. I’m sorry. I know I always drop by at the worst time and leave a mess behind.” You felt the sadness in her voice as she said that despite her forcing out a laugh. That only made it more obvious. “Please.” She said.

        “…Okay.” You finally said, motioning her inside. Mina nodded, taking her shoes off before padding into the apartment. You motioned her to the couch, where she sat herself down. “Do you want something to drink?”

        “Oh, no. It’s okay.” She said. You watched as she looked around from her spot on the couch. Her eyes fell on every Knick-knack and souvenir she could find. “I think this is the first time I’ve actually been in your apartment for as long as I’ve known you.”

        “Yeah…” you sat down on the chair, looking at her. “Now, what did you want to talk about?” Mina seemed shocked when you didn’t continue to entertain her with some small talk, but it made her smile.

        “Right. I didn’t expect to come in and be treated like a friend after everything.” You watched Mina open up her purse, pulling out a small white envelope and handing it to you. She saw you hesitate, but it only made her push it closer. “It’s not what you think.” She finally said. You took the envelope into your hands, pressing the paper just a bit to see if it would provide a clue as to its contents. “Promise you won’t open it right now.” She said.

        “Why?” you asked.

        “Just my request...” She said simply. You arched an eyebrow.

        “Well, when will I be able to?” you asked. Mina laughed a bit.

        “When I leave, if you want.” You scoffed a bit at the vagueness of the response, setting the envelope in your lap. You looked up at Mina again, wondering if that was the end of the conversation. You could hear your phone buzzing on the table. It was only a matter of time before your friends arrived, and you were hoping Mina would be long gone before then. “I want to say one more thing before I go.”

        “Okay.” You said simply.

        “I’m sorry. Truly.” You had to suppress a laugh, looking away for a minute to collect yourself. “I’m serious. I’m sorry.”

        “You had to come all the way here for that? It could have been a text. You said that when this whole thing started. You said it at the party. Yet, you don’t seem that sorry considering you’ve continued forcing Mingyu to live a lie.” Mina nodded.

        “I know.” She said. “I’ve tried making the best of our situation. I thought once Mingyu started classes again, and interning with his father at the firm, he would start to feel better about the entire thing. I thought it would take his mind off of…” when she trailed off, you had to chew your bottom lip. Mina sighed before continuing. “But it didn’t work. It only made things worse. I’ve spent this entire two months trying to make everything feel as normal as possible. At every corner, I’ve failed.” She sighed. “But I think I’ve failed from the very beginning. I joined the game midway through and thought I could win. I told myself I wouldn’t cheat, but I snuck myself to the finish line at the very end. And now I feel dirty.”

        “You should.” You covered your mouth when those words escaped your lips. Mina looked shocked only for a second, eyes darting up at you. “That wasn’t-.”

        “No.” she said quickly. “You’re right. I shouldn’t be proud of how I acted. I told myself I would win Mingyu’s heart fairly. I didn’t want him to be with me for selfish reasons. But when I saw you and him so happy in Jeju, watching him put all of his efforts into you, and knowing that I foolishly chose to help you win, jealousy hit me out of nowhere. I acted brashly and I’m sorry.”

        “…It’s nice to know that you’re just as ashamed of your actions as the rest of us were.” You said. “I really thought we were going to be good friends like you promised.”

        “I know. I burned that bridge on my own. I’m sorry.”

        “But there’s nothing apologizing will do now.” You said. “You did what you did and now you’ve won. Mingyu is yours. He’s chosen you.” Mina chuckled a bit to herself, the comment seeming to hurt her more than you would think. “...Am I wrong?” you asked curiously. 

Mina glanced at you. “I…I can’t say.” Mina said simply. “I can only say that my methods weren’t…what I wanted them to be.” 

        A snort. “If he thinks any of that was true after everything we’ve been through, then he might not have really loved me at all.”

        Mina smiled. “You’re all he talks about.” She said. “Even now. Every story I manage to get out of him, or hear him talk about to someone else, is a story that has some connection to you.” Hearing that made you finally go quiet. “I’d be jealous if it wasn’t the only time he smiled recently.”

        You leaned back in your seat, finding the right words before you allowed yourself to speak. Was she trying to make amends? Or was she trying to gloat? You felt a weird tingle of guilt course through your veins. “Mina.” You finally said, and she looked over. “I need you to promise me something if you intend to see this marriage through to the end.” Mina watched you get up, walking over to the little snow globe collecting dust on your bookshelf, picking it up and brushing it with your hands. “Promise you’ll be good to him. He’s a good man who doesn’t want people to get hurt. He only gets mad when it’s for those same people that he really cares about.” Mina watched as you passed her the little snow globe. “As you know, he always buys gifts. After a while, when time passed and wounds heal, he’ll probably start buying you gifts. You should act surprised every time, it makes him happy.”

        Mina brushed her fingers along the globe as well, a few extra dust particles fluttering down onto the floor as she did so. “You did something selfish but I don’t think you’re inherently bad. He’ll come around one day.”

        Mina didn’t believe those words you said for a second, but you didn’t think you believed them either. You just wanted to end the conversation before the lingering feelings began creeping up on you once again. Feelings you long since tried to forget. Déjà vu was a vicious beast, it seemed. Mina finally rose from her spot on the couch, handing you back the snow globe. She watched how delicately you took it into your hands again, smiling down at it briefly before setting it away once more. “I should get going. I’ve held you up long enough. Thank you for talking to me.”

        “Sure.” You said softly, walking Mina to the door. You opened it once more, watching as she walked out. She turned to you once more.

        “Bye.” She said. You only waved, nodding your head as Mina finally made her way to the elevator. You only watched her depart for a second, before closing the door. Silence reentered the apartment, only the sound of your feet padding against the floor as you picked up the white envelope. You shook your head, opening the side table drawer and sticking it beside the TV remote, slamming it closed. “Yeah, right.” You muttered to yourself. When you felt your eyes begin to water, you walked back over to the snow globe, holding it in your hands. You shook it a few quick times, watching as the snowflakes fluttered around the plastic Statue of Liberty. The memory again flooded your mind and you smiled to yourself. 

         A loud bang from behind you startled you, your hands jolting up in shock. A scream of shock erupted from your lips and you watched as the snowglobe fell to the floor, the glass shattering around your feet. 

         “Hey! We are here!” Hoshi called, foot extended outward. He and Jihoon’s hands were filled with bags of snacks, hence his extended foot to open the unlocked door. The duo walked in just as you knelt to the floor. “Hm? Sorry, did I scare you?” Hoshi laughed sheepishly. You did not respond however, your hands frantically picking up the Statue of Liberty. In your rescue attempt, your finger nicked one of the glass shard, and you cursed under your breath. 

         Jihoon set his bags on the table, walking around the couch to you. “Hey. Are you - oh.” He watched as you looked up, smiling a bit.

         “Heh. Sorry.” you said, feeling your eyes water. “You guys scared me.” Jihoon and Hoshi shared an expression, one of pity you couldn’t see behind your watery eyes. However, you did see Hoshi come to you side, resting his head on your shoulder and rubbing your arm as Jihoon knelt down and began picking up all of the glass shards. 

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

        “Try it.”

        “No, Jihoon.” Jeonghan said for what felt like the billionth time. He motioned a can to Joshua.

        “Jisoo-Hyung?”               

        Joshua cocked an eyebrow as he looked down at the fallen angel before him. He was holding a beer out in their direction. Jihoon’s smile only got wider as he motioned it closer.

        “Absolutely not.” Jihoon scoffed, leaning back in his seat as he cracked the beer open himself. He pouted a bit, putting the drink to his lips and taking a sip.

        “I’m going to need eternal drinking buddies! Come on. It’s not that bad.”

        “No.” The duo said again. When Jihoon tried to encourage them again, they both responded by sticking pizza into their mouths to avoid the conversation. It made you laugh a bit.

        “You have plenty of drinking buddies right here.” You said, patting Hoshi on the shoulder. He set his beer down, already red in the face as he looked up at you. “Right, Hoshi?”

        “Aaah, yeah.” He smiled, completely unaware of what you were even talking about. Jihoon immediately leaned forward, handing him a water. “Aaaah, for me? Awwwww, Wooziiiiiii.” He giggled, and Jihoon couldn’t hold back his amused smirk.

        “Take it, dummy.” He said. It took a second, but Hoshi popped open the bottle and took a long sip, which you saw finally relaxed Jihoon. The night had been pretty eventual so far, the group eating and drinking the night away as they chatted about anything and everything. Studying, the reason for the late-night visit in the first place, was put on the back burner for loud laughter and snacking. It was much better this way. The current event was watching a very drunk Hoshi and an almost as drunk Seungkwan encourage the entire group to play a game of ‘Hongsam’.

        “Not when you’re that drunk.” Minnie said, grinning behind the head of her bottle. Hoshi shot up.             

        “Yes Hongsam.” He sang, wiggling his hips.

        “Everybody Hongsam.” Seungkwan stood up and did the same thing, hoping it would encourage the group to join in. However, when he noticed he was the only one doing it, he blinked. “Hey now….” And the room erupted into laughter.

        “Absolutely not.” You said behind laughter, sipping your beer.

        “It kind of looks like fun.” Joshua said.

        “Then you play.” You grinned. Joshua smiled at you as you took another sip, letting out a deep sigh. “Man, it’s hot in here. I’m going to get some fresh air.”

        The idea of you leaving the area perked Joshua’s ears to that instead, forgetting the game even existed. “I’ll come too.” Joshua said quickly, following you out the door. Jeonghan’s eyes, which were amused watching the drunk duo goof off, shot to Joshua as he watched his friend follow behind you, opening the door to the balcony and allowing you to step out first. He didn’t even look back, instead just closing the door behind the both of you.

“It’s about time.” Minnie said, making Jeonghan look over.

“What?”

“With Mingyu out of the picture, I was waiting for the moment Joshua would finally grow a pair and confess. Seungkwan owes me ten dollars!”

“I do not! I do not bet with the likes of you.” Jeonghan bit his lip as the room continued to fill with playful banter, his eyes locked on the balcony. He could only see the both of you a bit, the curtain blocking most of his view. Jihoon noticed the angel’s sudden change in demeanor.

        “You sure you don’t want that drink?” he asked only more time, but only got an annoyed glance in response. “Okay…”

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

        “I thought you were going to play Hongsam.” You said, looking to Joshua as he joined you outside. He rested his elbows against the balcony.

        “I’m not going to be the only one entertaining those two.” He joked, and you had to laugh a bit. You looked down at the world below from your balcony, before taking another swig of your drink. “Besides, it’s nicer out here.” Joshua glanced to your hand which Hoshi and Jihoon had bandaged after your cut. “Are you okay?”

“Hm?” you looked down at your bandage, a bit of dried blood poking through. “Oh, yeah.” You assured. Maybe it was the drinks, but guilt began bubbling deep into your chest as you spoke up once more. “Joshua. I’m sorry I messed everything up.”  

        “What?” Joshua looked over at you.

        “I couldn’t get you guys back into heaven. Now, you’re both stuck here until I get with Mingyu. That’ll never happen now.” You let out a dry laugh, and Joshua frowned.

        “We’re the ones that knew the risk from the beginning. Don’t blame yourself. We could have done more, too.” He sighed. “I could have.” 

        “But still-.”

        “I said don’t blame yourself. Jeonghan wouldn’t want you to, either.”

        “Okay.” You sighed, defeated. Joshua watched as you finished your beer, setting it down on the floor of the balcony. Your elbows loosened, allowing your hands to dangle a bit over the balcony, eyes staring straight ahead. “Are you guys going to live here forever?”

        “Do you want us to?” he grinned a bit when he heard you laugh.

        “It definitely is less lonely with you two here. But we’ll have to actually invest in nicer beds and maybe more space.” Joshua was now that one to laugh. “Let’s go house hunting.”

        “That means we’ll need jobs.” Joshua sighed. “I never thought an angel like me would be sending out job applications on earth.” You smiled as Joshua playfully dropped his head loose on his neck. “Oh, how the mighty fall.”

        “For someone who calls Jeonghan dramatic, you’re really dramatic.” Both of you shared a laugh in the cool night air. Joshua glanced over at you one more time. He bit his lip for a second, before finding himself unable to hold back as he asked you a very important question.

        “Can I hold your hand?” Confused and stunned expressions led him to clarify. “I want to see my symbol…”

        “Oh.” You laughed nervously, turning to him. Joshua watched you extend your hand to him, which he gently took into his own. He stared at it for a minute, as if he was thinking. It made you smile. “Did you forget how to do it?” you asked playfully.

        “Heh. No.” He assured. His thumb rubbed over the back of your hand for a second, before he finally closed his eyes. He felt what little angel power he had in his body to summon the contract seal. Is it even there? He thought to himself. If it’s not, there is absolutely no going back. One of his eyes popped open, studying your expression. You were looking back out at the skyline as you waited. The moonlight sparkled along your features, your eyes dancing along to the stars in the sky, studying each one. He felt himself grip your hand a bit tighter when you smiled, seemingly catching a constellation in your sights. I won’t be able to go back. If it’s not there, if it’s red, I’ll use this as a chance to tell her-.

        “Uh…Joshua…” the nervousness in your voice made Joshua’s eyes pop open, his cheeks flushed as he tried to pull himself from his thoughts. So much for his chance, he was to flustered now. He followed your gaze, your wide and curious eyes now staring directly at your hand. His eyes followed, and immediately, he saw the little check floating above your hand. “It’s….”

        “It’s white.” He breathed out, a mix of relief and shock. Immediately, the both of you looked up at each other, eyes wide. Joshua gripped your hand, looking down at it once again. “It’s white! It’s white again!”

        “What does that mean?!” You shouted.

        Both of you went silent, turning back to the living room. Joshua wasted no time fling the balcony door open, the loud thud of the large door crashing against its hold startling the entire crew.

        “JEONGHAN!” You both shouted, making him immediately hop out of his seat.

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

        “I’m home.” The sound of the sink running in the kitchen signals for Mina to make her way down the hall. She heads that way after taking her shoes off. When she pokes her head in, Mingyu only looks in her direction. “Hey.” She smiled sweetly.

        “Hey.” He points to the fridge. “I saved some of my lunch, if you’re hungry.”

        “Ah.” Mina smiled a bit. “Thank you. That’s thoughtful.” Mingyu nodded, turning back to the sink to finish with some of the dishes he had started with. Mina rested against the door frame, watching his back silently. “Mingyu.” She said, but he only hummed. “Remember when we went to the cherry blossom festival in the spring?”

        Mingyu nodded his head, not once looking up from the bowl he was scrubbing. “With my friends? Yes.” He said. Mina nodded.

        “Would you want to go again next spring?” Mingyu shrugged at the question.

        “Maybe.” He said. Mina nodded. Mingyu then stopped the dishes, finally looking back in her direction. She instinctively stood up straight. “Oh.” He motioned to the kitchen table in the corner by their bay window. “I took the liberty of skimming through some of these when I got the mail. I was curious.” He picked one up, flipping through it casually before turning the page in her direction. Her eyes followed his finger as he tapped on a set of beautiful Christmas flowers. “These are nice.”

        Mina felt her heart speed up, eyes sparkling. He’ll come around. “You think so?!” She asked. Mingyu nodded, and Mina looked at the burgundy red flowers nestled in beautiful green leaves. The wintery background of the picture only enhanced the Christmassy vibes of the flowers. Mingyu turned the page back to him, smiling a bit to himself as he nodded.

        “I’ve really fallen in love with this color in the past year…” he said. Mina’s smile dropped as Mingyu set the magazine down on the table, making his way back over to the counters. Mina watched him grab a sponge and start to wipe some of the counters down. She looked over at the flowers once more, trying to recall where she had seen that color before. The more she thought about it, the more images flashed into her brain.

        “She does look so pretty in that dress.” Mina whispered to herself.

        “What?” Mingyu looked over, eyebrows furrowed together as he tried to figure out what she was whispering about. He saw Mina closed the magazine and set it back down, an obvious look of discomfort on her face. “Hm? Are you okay?” Mina walked over to Mingyu without an answer, taking his hands tightly. He dropped the sponge that was in his hands, glancing down at it for a second. “Hey.”

        “Let’s go on a trip.” She said quickly. Mingyu arched an eyebrow, but Mina was already dragging Mingyu out the door, slipping on the fastest pair of shoes they could as they made their way to his car in the garage.

        The drive was quiet, but not in a way Mingyu had found himself used to in the past. Mina looked out the window the entire trip, hands in her lap as she gripped her pocket book. Mingyu sighed, running a hand through his hair as he turned the next corner. 

         “She really did think she was talking to you.” Mina said, the sudden sound of her voice causing Mingyu to look over at her. She turned to him. “At the beach house.”

         “Ah….” he nodded. Mina sighed.

         “I was right on the balcony. I saw it all. Jeonghan came to get her, and she said goodbye to Mingyu.” Mingyu gripped the wheel.

         “Why are you telling me now?” he asked curiously.

         “I thought you should know.” she said simply. “I know it really hurt you, and her. Not only that, but it hurt Joshua. He didn’t do anything wrong. I was jealous.” Mingyu nodded his head.

         “Thank you.” he said. Mina smiled a bit, looking down at her pocketbook. She admired the cherry blossom keychain that jingled with every bump Mingyu hit on the drive, and she took it gently into her hands. 

        “How cute! Thank you Mingyu!”

        “I figured you’d like it since you seemed to enjoy the festival.”

        “I didn’t buy you a gift.”

        “Don’t worry. It’s from friend to friend. Thank you for being so cool with everything at breakfast.”

        “No problem…”

        “I’m hoping next year I’ll be able to take my friend to the festival. We can go together. She’s been telling me how badly she’d love to see them in person.”

        As Mingyu pulled up in the driveway of his father’s home, Mina was relieved to see her father’s car also there. Mingyu slowed the car in the driveway, and when it came to a stop, Mina was already out of the car. He watched her speed walk up the driveway, bag gripped tightly in her hands. Mingyu slipped out of the car as well, beeping it to ensure it was locked before following after her. “Mina!” He called, but there was no answer.

        Mina walked past every single worker in the house as they greeted her, Mingyu quickly following behind and saying his own greeting to them followed by a frantic slew of ‘sorry’. “Mina.” He called again. “What are you doing?” He was horribly confused to what had her locked and loaded right as they pulled into the driveway. However, when he saw Mina turn down a very familiar corridor with a very familiar set of doors at the end of the hall, Mingyu felt dread in his stomach. “Mina.” He called again, but it was too late.

        Mina swung the doors of the office open, alerting both her father and his own. Mingyu hurried behind her, finally alerting her attention to him for a second. “What are you doing?” he asked. She only offered him a smile, before turning to her and Mingyu’s fathers.

        “What’s the problem, honey?” her father asked, standing up from his spot.

        “Father.” She took a deep breath. “I’d like to end my engagement.”

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[snootlestheangel]

The brain rot is attacking me so I’m sharing the love

GazRoach but with Asexual Roach

Yay, more brainrot!!

I'm going with the idea that Roach is a burn victim and so he sometimes he has issues feeling comfortable in his skin (cause I just cannot unsee him as such because of all the beautiful art and writings I've seen depicting him as such). This has nothing to do with his asexuality, he was ace before the accident!

(also somehow fucked up the formatting and deleted two whole questions and the answers so like sorry if the first few questions are kinda rushed. I was mad at myself cause I had already written the answers just to immediately delete them)

Who was the one to propose? Gaz. It was the cutest, sweetest, most beautiful thing and Roach refused to stop hugging him.

Who stressed more over wedding planning? Roach probably. He wants Gaz to have the best wedding ever, but Gaz couldn't care less about the circumstances, just the fact he gets to marry his best friend :)

Who decorated the house? Gaz has style and it definitely started out as him, but Roach keeps bringing in little knick-knacks so eventually, there are rooms where guests can tell Roach had a hand in it's decor

Who does the cooking? Both can cook pretty decently, so typically they take turns. However, Roach often cooks more than Gaz. I don't know why, I just feel like Roach, even though he's a menace, can really whip up some gourmet shit.

Who is more organized? Roach, actually. Gaz is plenty organized, as a result of years being in the military and needing to keep his shit tidy, but Roach is the actual organized one. Yeah, he's bug boy, bugs have very complex systems and maintain those with diligence. -Roach's motto

Who suggested kids first? Gaz, probably. They don't think they ever will have kids, but Gaz is the one to ask about it first.

Who's the big cuddler? Gaz, but sometimes he gets banished to the floor when Roach feels constricted.

Who's the big spoon/little spoon? Gaz is little spoon. Whatever you do, don't imagine Roach burying his face in between Gaz's shoulders after a really tough day and just holding onto Gaz like he's his very lifeline (he is), and don't picture Gaz humming a little bit cause he knows the vibrations calm Roach down. Don't imagine them falling asleep like this, don't imagine Gaz staying in bed well past the time he should all because Roach is sleeping so peacefully, still wrapped around him.

Favorite non-sexual activity? Everything. They're such adrenaline junkies, despite their traumas, and like to push each other. They're actually working on Gaz's absolute terror of heights, bit by bit. Gaz wants to be able to ride a roller-coaster again without having flashbacks :')

Who comes home drunk at 3am? I don't see either of them being really heavy drinkers like this, if I'm being honest. Unless Soap is there and offers to drive both back to their place, neither really gets drunk.

Who kills the spiders? Gaz wants to kill them but Roach refuses to let him. Bugs are friends :) *Roach is very much committed to the bit*

Who falls asleep first? Gaz. I feel like he's so normal about things like that. Like he can just easily fall asleep, whereas Roach is laying there thinking about that ant he stepped on earlier.

A head-canon? Roach, being a burn victim, has a pretty tough time every now and then feeling like he fits in his skin. It doesn't help he's definitely got some Sensory Processing Issues, and so sometimes he really wants to claw off his skin. His burns do cover a good portion of his torso and upper legs. Sometimes when people give him a hard time about being ace, cause we all know there's those assholes, he just uses the excuse of his burns to make them uncomfortable. He came out ace well before the incident, but we all know he's not been taken seriously until he started blaming it on the incident. The two are still pretty intimate with each other; Roach loves when Gaz applies the creams/meds to his scarring, mostly cause the whole time Gaz is whispering praise in his ear, saying how proud he is, how pretty Roach is, etc. Not to mention, some of the places are hard for him to reach, and there's scarring up near his crotch (which is incredibly uncomfortable on Roach's bad days when he's reminded a lot of his skin isn't technically his own and he's overtly aware of the sensation of Gaz's hands on him), and so sometimes there's a lot of reassurance on both sides, from Roach saying he's good to keep going, and from Gaz to say "just a bit more, Bug, okay? You're doing good" Roach adores Gaz's physique, and is constantly photographing him; there's so many photos of Gaz in all sorts of different circumstances. The fall/cozy sweater pictures that are scattered around the flat, the ones of Gaz in the snow, or shirtless in the bright summer sun just looking like he's thriving. There's a secret stash of all of the nudes Roach has taken of Gaz. They're all so artistic and beautiful and non-sexualized photos of Gaz just simply ~Existing~ and those photos are Roach's most prized possessions. Roach just loves when Gaz isn't wearing clothes in general, and he's definitely stealing all his shirts so Gaz has 'no choice' but to walk around shirtless. Roach's favorite time of year is gray sweatpant season cause he gets the perfect view of Gaz's hips, the lines leading down and disappearing underneath his pants, the way Roach can still see the very minute dimples on Gaz's lower back, just visible above his pants.

Do they have any "rituals"? Only the process of applying creams/meds to Roach's burn areas. Gaz puts on a whole theatric basically to help put Roach into a good mood, and Gaz has to have the right playlist, the right stuff to cover the rather unpleasant scent of the medication cream, etc. (this is kind of a stressful thing for Roach, he's still pretty sensitive in certain areas/easy to trigger cause the trauma is still relatively fresh)

Who has the most patience? Gaz, most definitely. He's still glaring at you if you're annoying him, but it'll take a while before he ever loses his cool. Roach is just feral :D

Gif that sums up the relationship?

The silliest of sillies :)

[benegesseritofficial]

Pushing Daisies has immediately struck me as extraordinarily queer coded. Enjoy my rant.

This show came out in 2007 and yet Ned is an extremely gentle man in every aspect of his characterization. He was emotionally wounded as a child, a fact we linger on and explore at length. He drives people away but in an incredibly passive way. He isn't interested at all in the hot woman throwing herself at him. The only person he's interested in was his childhood best friend. The man is passive, sweet, and a romantic; not someone who would chase you but a prize to be won.

Chuck is literally named Chuck. Sure her name is Charlotte but when we first meet her she's in a dinosaur costume and her name is Chuck. No one's called her Chuck since Ned, and when he does again she only wants him to call her Chuck. Almost immediately everyone calls her Chuck. Also... Charolette Charles? Charolette is the feminine form of Charles. Gender fuckery is afoot from square one. And she's assertive. She has no trouble talking over Ned, or any other man for that matter. She cares deeply about feelings and emotions and her perceptions of right and wrong, and she will steamroll anyone who tries to contradict her. She kisses Ned first. She figures out how she can safely kiss Ned. They both wanted it but she's the one who starts problem solving. Now, her actress Anna Friel is slender, her hair is long, and she is dressed exclusively like a 1950s fashion model. She's 5'5", but dwarfed by Lee Pace's 6'5". But what if she wasn't? What if she was opposite a man who wasn't a fucking tree? What if these lines and actions were given to a woman who wasn't a size 2? What if Anna Friel wore jeans for even one scene while Chuck interrupts and problem solves and takes action? Well, the audience might start to notice that the character isn't very feminine at all. Chuck is all character and very little gender. She could really be played by anyone.

And finally, Olive. Dear, sweet, Olive, longing after a man who shuts down one half her advances and doesn't seem to notice the other half. Olive, who is bold and brash and catty and fun and (apparently, by the costuming department's choices) obsessed with '70s fashion. It's 2007. A gay writer cannot express his struggles longing after a straight man who will never care for him. Not in so many words. But he could write most of that character. He could just swap a few little details and pronouns. By the time a minuscule, high voiced actress is reading Olive's lines, the average straight viewer would never even guess. But there Olive is; a readymade gay icon, over the top and feminine and unapologetically attracted to men. Everything a more feminine gay man wishes he could be out in the open. Olive can tell gay men's stories when they couldn't use their own voices. Relatedly, once you see her and Chuck's aunts as drag queens, you just can't unsee it. When Olive first meets those two, they take her under their wing as a kindred spirit. In the course of telling a story, it's not a trope or action that makes much sense for straight women. Younger women don't seek out and value the advice of old women. Not on TV, not in the cultural wisdom of 2007 or today. Gay men on the other hand. Drag queens on the other hand. If you were in the culture, you understood to value your elders when they bestowed wisdom.

And none of that addressing the situation. Ned absolutely cannot touch the person he's in love with. He and Chuck kiss in (I think) the third episode. Chuck isn't a love interest, she is arguably his girlfriend for most of the series. And yet, a forced wall must remain between them. Chuck has to remain in disguise when they're in public. They are together, but still feel they have to restrain themselves. There is no clear future for their relationship, no matter how in love they are. Much like a gay couple might feel, years before widespread societal acceptance and legal recognition of their relationship. It isn't safe, and only a few close friends can know.

[wormtitty]

Kinktober Day 16: Bondage/Restraints (Armand/Lestat)

armand teaches lestat how to use his mind gift. cw: blood and a bit of woundfucking.

on AO3 here.

The fledgling growls in frustration. Armand clicks his tongue at him. “You have to want it, Lestat.” 

“I do want it, you’ve been telling me to want this for weeks now, and still I can do nothing.” 

“You can do much more than nothing,” Armand huffs out a laugh. “Do you not remember the times I have seen you hunt?”

“Ah, how could I forget?” Lestat ceases his stalking about the room, coming to a halt before him. He glares down at Armand. “Your presence haunted me for ages, my own personal menace.”

The crook of his smile irritates Lestat further, throwing his hands in the air and making to leave, muttering under his breath. 

“Wait!,” Armand calls, unwilling to let him slip off into the dark and leave him alone, as he had the previous two nights. He tries a different approach, forcing a hard edge into his voice. “Where are you going to go, Lestat? Where do you go when you leave my side?” 

Lestat turns to him slowly, eyes narrowed. Armand knows he’s wondering why he asks such questions; hasn’t spoken like this to Lestat since before the Théatre opened. 

“Who do you turn to when my company becomes disagreeable to you? Your mother does not care to hear your griping. All thoughts of you in your Nicholas’ mind have turned sour. Who, other than I, will give you comfort?”

“You know nothing, Armand,” He spits, lunging forwards. Lestat raises his hand mere inches from Armands face, and then there it is. In a grand sweeping gesture, Armand’s body is flung from the bed to the floor, hitting the ground with a solid thud. “You are nothing compared to them!”

Armand cannot control the delighted laughter that shakes free from his chest, entire body trembling with it. Every part of him feels alight and fresh, excitement shocking through him in a rush. He watches Lestat still, sees the confusion wash over his face.

“What?” he demands, “Why do you mock me?”

“Lestat, you lovely young thing, you’ve done it.” Armand can’t keep the awe from his voice. “Look at me. Tell me how you think I came to be like this on the floor?”

The recognition washes over him like water splashed on a feverish face. “I’ve done it.” He looks about the room wildly, as if expecting to see the strings of a puppet hanging from the ceiling. He finds only Armand, crumpled and beaming. 

Lestat lets his eyes trail down Armand’s body, lingering at where he's hard and straining in his breeches. His breath rings loud for the audience of one. 

“It seems I am not the only one wanting things now, hm?” Armand fixes his gaze to the candle-lined wall, resolutely not looking at Lestat hovering above him. 

“I could do anything I wanted to you, and you would lie there and take it, yes?”

“I am allowing this to happen. Know this, Lestat, then do what you will.” His legs twitch open, an unspoken invitation.

“I think,” Lestat hunches down, bringing his lips to the side of Armand’s face, voice breathy in his ear. “I think you want this as much as I do, Maître.”

Lestat’s expression goes steely again, nostrils flaring, eyes wide and unseeing. It’s a strange sight, the handsome human features of his face turned statuesque in his concentration. Armand feels a pressure increase in the air around his body, prone on the floor. 

The ground is cool beneath his back as he collapses fully, no longer supported by his elbows. Armand’s shirtsleeves catch on where the raised edges of the parquet flooring. The bones of his wrists dig into the wood, hard and unyielding. A soft, unbidden sound falls from his lips, mouth open in surprise. 

Lestat drops to his knees between his spread legs, panting. “Try,” he wets his lips, continues, “Fight it, Armand. Try to fight me, I want to see -” 

Armand tests at the invisible bonds holding him in place. Lestat is strong, pure blood of an ancient pumping powerfully in his veins, but even still he is young and inexperienced. Armand could easily break free if he so desired. He flexes his fingers from the curled fist they had been commanded into. 

He watches Lestat’s eyelids flutter a little, wetness gathering at the rims. Armand pokes at his restraints, cutting through just enough to allow him to reach out towards Lestat with one arm. 

Inches from his face, before he could even make contact, his wrist is violently pinned to the ground again, untouched save for the lingering sensation of Lestat’s mind holding him down. It catches Armand off guard, this ferocity. 

“Don’t,” Lestat grunts. There’s a pinkish sweat starting to bead at his brow. He’s close to overexerting himself, mind unused to this particular exercise. 

The sight of it sends warmth emanating through his body, pulsing in time with the beat of his heart. There’s an ache inside of him, sitting heavy in his gut. Armand wants. 

“Lestat,” he pleads in his mind, unsure of what it is exactly that he wants, only that Lestat can give it to him. Armand knows he can feel the resistance as he tries to shift up into Lestat’s body. He’s unsuccessful, of course. He’s not putting much effort into it; he wants the restraint more than he wants to re-assert his superiority.

Lestat catches on immediately, a mischievous smile glancing across his lips as he feigns closing the distance, brushes his lips to Armand’s cheek, ignoring his waiting mouth entirely. He knows the game, then.

The hard press of Lestat’s knee at his groin would give him something to grind against if he was permitted to move. It’s not enough. It’s overwhelming. He’s stripped in a flurry, claws catching at his clothes, little holes torn through. Armand knows Lestat will replace them as soon as he notices, when something other than his cock is on his mind. 

The hot tease of it knocks against his own, flush and full where it lay untouched at his hip. Lestat’s face contorts again, then Armand’s thighs are forced tight together, inner knees locked in a bruising squeeze. He’d thought perhaps that Lestat would fuck him there on the floor, but it seems he’s too impatient to make a fuss of preparation. Or, he thinks, this is better, to take his pleasure and know Armand receives none. 

Lestat uses his hands, now, to turn him onto his side, arms still stretched unnaturally above his head. He slices a thin cut into the tender flesh of one inner thigh, letting the blood leak sluggishly between his legs. It stings when his cock slips in, nestled just against the wound and far enough away from his hole to do much more than tease. It’s not enough. It’s overwhelming.

The sticky slide of Lestat between his thighs is obscene, hips rolling sharply into the tight clutch of Armand’s flesh. There isn’t much to grab on to, but Lestat does his level best, digging sharp nails into the fatty parts of him for leverage. The scent of blood and arousal burns in Armand’s nose. He’s so hard he could cry, and he probably will if Lestat doesn’t touch him soon. 

The fledgling is oblivious to Armand’s need, fucking his thighs with a single-minded purpose. His control is slipping, the invisible force keeping Armand’s legs in place lessening with every punch of his hips. Armand doesn’t mind, squeezing tighter to make up for his lapse in control. Lestat’s still so new to this, he deserves something nice. 

And he gets it in short order, release coming quick as he spills between Armand’s thighs. His own bloody cum adding to the mess that still leaks from the gash he’d made just minutes before. 

[bougiebutchbinch]

What are your top The Boys ships? Are there any you haven’t drawn but that you still enjoy? I enjoy a good Frenchie/MM fic, but your art really got me on the Hughie/A-Train ship lol so it made me curious what other ships you have.

Ooooh, thank you for a wonderful ask! And it's awesome to know I'm converting folks to Hughtrain... WE GOT ANOVVA ONE BOYS

I had never considered Frenchie/MM but y'know what?? Yeah, I see it!

Honestly, my top ship isn't even Hughtrain - it would be MM/Train if I could find any lmao. Their interactions in S4 made my brain light up in a very 'bratty A-Train gets flipped by grudging but kind daddy MM' sort of way?? and now I cannot unsee it. As far as multishipping my favourite blorbos, I also really like Deeptrain (I cannot be convinced that they didn't explore each other's bodies at least once) and Butcher/MM (their whole 'shitty bastard dad and long-suffering malewife' thing really speaks to me!)

But I also LOVE Butchlander - I'm a batjokes shipper to my core, and you can't go wrong with two mortal enemies who are mutually obsessed with each other and kinda fucked up about it. Their toxic hatesex vibe is immaculate.

Also, big shoutout to Sagelander and Starcracker for altering my brain chemistry this season... I love Sage letting Homelander think he's in control while manipulating the fuck outta that pathetic evil (affectionate) bastard, and I love all of Starlight and Firecracker's past beef! I think Annie could fix her if she fingerbanged her up against a wall, personally

And, of course, I adore Frenchie/Kimiko with all of my heart. I loved them as platonic 'family'. I loved them as a couple. I just love them, and I want them to be happy!

There we have it: a rundown of every ship that makes my brain go brrrrr in The Boys!