#but nothing i have seen of leo so far has made me at all think that i will like what his show has to offer me

[lucksea]

the two possibilities that might also both happen whenever i watch leo is 1 im going to stop watching before finishing it like i did with return of ultraman because i hate it too much. or 2 im going to have to redraw sydneys "where are you taking me" "i dont know man. just with me for the rest of my life i guess" with me and leo and/or nefariously written seven who was originally supposed to be a completely different character

[angelpuns]

“ GET BACK!” Leo gripped his katanas tightly, backing into the corner. The lumbering, spiky creature before him grimaced, holding his claws out like Leo was some sort of spoiler animal. 

“ Leo, hey, what's goin' on, buddy?” The creature asked, voice softer than expected. It made Leo hesitant, if only for a second. 

But it must have been a ploy. A trick to trap him and-and do god knows what! 

“ I'M NOT YOUR BUDDY,” Leo hissed, keeping his eyes open for any movement from the hulking creature. If there was an opening, he'd have to take it, otherwise he'd have to portal away. It didn't feel right to leave this creature in his room, though, so that would be a last resort, “TELL ME WHO- WHAT YOU ARE! NOW!” 

The creature blinked in mock surprise and took a step back. Good. Maybe Leo could stun it and then go out the back way to his room. It wasn't a great plan, but it was all he had right now. Hell, maybe he could scare the thing all the way out the door and fight it in the lobby. Sure, it was a lot bigger than him, but he had two swords and it has nothing. 

“Wh- it's me! It's Raph!” The creature raised its voice a little, then immediately softened it again, “it’s- you're safe, Leo, its just me. You're in the lair. We're all safe…”

It was holding its hands out again and took two steps forward. Leo backed further into the corner and cursed under his breath. This was the opposite of what he wanted. 

“HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME!? WHY ARE YOU IN MY ROOM!?” He bit out, cycling through several more half-baked plans where he didn't have to portal and didn't mess up his room. He didn't want to leave this guy here to mess it up either if he could. 

“ We're- we're brothers, remember? We explained it yesterday…. You were cursed by a witch and-”

Leo scoffed, “ that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! You've got 3 seconds to leave before I cut you to pieces!”

He’d always been more of a playful banter guy than a ‘threaten to literally kill you’ guy, but this was dire. There was literally a random, dangerous looking creature-guy in his home. He wasn't gonna rake any chances to be funny, not right now. 

“Okay, okay. Let's just calm down, Leo….I really need you to take a deep breath and-and uh…name five things you see?” the guy - Raph, he'd said - was speaking even quieter, and getting even closer. 

He took another step forward and Leo couldn't think- there was nowhere to run, he was trapped. 

The creature reached forward slowly, mimicking slow breathing and Leo lashed out with his sword, barely nicking the guy’s arm with it. He either had tough scales or Leo was still too far to do any damage. 

He hissed in pain, and Leo saw a bit of red there, but he couldn't wait to find out if he'd finally pissed this guy off. 

He cut a portal beneath him and fell into it, heartbeat pounding his ears and electricity thrumming through his body. He heard a cut off “ LEO, WAIT-” before the portal closed and all he heard was the sounds if the city below him. 

 When he landed he was on a rooftop, somewhere far from his room and far from the creature. The sun was peeking above the horizon, a sudden chill making him shiver. Of course he couldn't have thought to put on a hoodie. Then again, he had been unexpectedly ambushed. 

At least he'd gotten away without a scrape. 

And not a moment too soon, because for a split second he'd seen two more guys in his doorway, each with shocked and then angry expressions. If he'd stayed even a second he'd be a goner, he just knew it. 

For now, he was safe. Now to think of a plan. 

----

Here's a blurb of that idea! I've written a chapter outline but writing has been hard lately, so I'm just gonna keep it in my docs for now. It might become a fic and it might become a comic, who knows. For now thus is what I've got. I just really wanted to write this bit :)

Part 1 | Part 3

[imagionationstation]

I Got Bored So I Analyzed Mikey And Splinter’s Relationship, As One Does

I love rewatching the 2012series after hearing about how terrible Mikey&Splinter’s relationship is because it always leaves me so confused to the point where I have to reconsider everything the internet says and everything I believe.

What if, for a moment, we see what the episodes have to say.

One thing they make very clear is that Splinter does not see Mikey as any less intelligent than his brothers. Several times during the series, the Sensei does not hesitate to openly agree with his youngest’s statement. He holds him to standards that are equally as high as the one Splinter gives to his brothers.

“How many times have I told you not to skateboard in the lair?”

“None, Sensei.”

“I shouldn’t have to tell you!”

“No, Michelangelo, you are right.”

“I am?”

“He is?”

“We gotta take him down.”

“Yes, Michelangelo, you do.”

Beyond agreeing with him, Splinter allows his youngest to have his say when he argues with the Sensei. He doesn’t shut him down or talk over him. Even if all of his sons disagree with Mikey, Splinter will hear him out and can even be seen changing his mind.

“There is no monster more dangerous than a lack of compassion.”

“My mistake.”

“We’re doing to him what everyone else does to us! Judging him for his looks!”

“But he was fighting the Kraang, Master Splinter. It’s like you always say! The enemy of my enemy is my bro.”

“That is not exactly what I’ve said…”

“Mm. I see. You’ve made a wise decision, Michelangelo.”

Master Splinter also doesn’t doubt his abilities. He can recognize his son’s strengths and won’t hesitate to put them to good use.

“When he awakens, Michelangelo, you must find a way to befriend him.”

“No problemo.”

The Sensei doesn’t challenge Mikey any harder than he challenges his brothers. Splinter never makes him out to be inferior when he’s teaching him something compared to them.

“Michelangelo. Why did you give up so easily?”

“There was nothing I could do.”

“There is always something you can do. Observe.”

“The key is to unbalance your opponent.”

“But how?”

“However you can. For example…”

While he doesn’t exactly understand how his mind works, he comprehends that his unique way of learning is to be nurtured and molded. He knows that some of his quirks are gifts to be appreciated. He even goes as far as using Mikey’s natural skill as an example of how to fight in order to instruct his brother.

“The nunchaku because… Um, they are perfect for you!”

“I just don’t understand how you can fight without thinking.”

“Observe… You see? Mikey does not think.”

“Thank you~”

“You must find the space between your thoughts and learn to live there. That’s what Michelangelo does.”

Mikey idolizes his sensei, but not quite to Leo’s extent. He takes in all the lessons that resígnate with him to heart, even to the point that he can quote them back to his father and brothers. (Revisit: “But he was fighting the Kraang, Master Splinter. It’s like you always say! The enemy of my enemy is my bro.”) Splinter spends a good amount of the show teaching lessons, such as don’t judge those who are different from you, peace is better than war, and a lack of compassion is the true monster. Mikey is consistently seen prompting these ideals in everything that he does, consciously or unconsciously mimicking his father.

“Raphael! Clearly, April is upset.”

“Yeah, dude, that’s so insensitive.”

“Yeah, that’s all good, but like Master Splinter would say, we must accept the hand that the universe has dealt usssss.”

They recognize cues from one another without anything being said. Reading their tones and expressions with ease, catching things that others in the room don’t notice, at least, not yet.

“You okay, Sensei?”

“Forgive me… My thoughts are… Elsewhere, Michelangelo.”

“Well, yeah. Cause old people never care how they look. Or smell.”

*sus Sensei squint*

*awkward laugh* *whistling*

“My son. I sense there is something you’d like to tell us.”

There are even times when they are in sync. A favorite example would be when Mikey throws down a smoke bomb and Splinter reappears in the same instance. It may be played off as a joke, but this is crack that the show takes very seriously.

“This is serious. I better get Splinter.”

“Um, we don’t really need-”

“Michelangelo said you wanted to see me?”

The two of them don’t have a lot of one-on-one screen time, but I often think that this isn’t because Splinter is outright ignoring his youngest. In fact, this is because, despite not being “as smart” as his brothers, he doesn’t need to give Mikey as much schooling as the rest of them. Leo seeks him out for advice, Raph needs help to mold his temper and impulsive nature, and Donnie needs to learn how calm his anxieties or how to react to social situations.

Mikey vibes with the world and follows his brothers’ leads. His mistakes are theirs and the rules that he follows are based off Sensei’s teaching. He’s smart in his own way, he has the instinct and the skills to fight and defend himself and his brothers, and he doesn’t need Master Splinter looking over his shoulder all the time.

He’s not useless. In some ways, he’s just a daddy’s boy.

Maybe the memory in Requiem wasn’t simply lazy writing.

Maybe, to him, this was an unspoken moment where Splinter acknowledges that and more.

[pipnchips202]

while i eat up practically every valgrace fic i see, down bad jason grace for leo valdez is always one of my absolute favorites; so, here are 5 valgrace fics where jason is the pining one :)) (for the most part)

1. hopeless case by restinreeses

rating: teen and up

warnings: none

“Nico,” Jason wheezes as he slams the door to the Hades cabin open. “Nico, I think I’m in love with my best friend.”

“No, really?” Nico drawls, barely looking up from his book.

Or: in which nico is jason’s wingman this time around.

AHHHHH!!!!!! this is REALLY good; i love the characterization and the many implications of jason having helped nico get with will prior to the events of the fic. also, platonic jasico will ALWAYS get me.

2. EP: things leo does; by jason grace by jacksonpercy (robertmontauk)

rating: not rated

warnings: none

God, he loves Leo’s laugh. It’s more like a giggle than anything - all high-pitched and bubbly; his mouth stretches into the widest smile Jason’s ever seen, and his tongue sticks out of his tongue just a little bit, and holy fuck Jason’s in love with Leo.

Shit.

[leo does things sometimes, and jason notices.]

i was very much obsessed with this fic at some point (still kind of am, actually). it’s basically a 5 + 1 of jason just pining for leo and i LOVE it. small warning though, there is a mention of kinks in the second chapter, if that’s weird for you. it’s really just an offhand comment and doesn’t get brought up again, so do with that what you will. they are teenagers after all, and as a teenager myself, i can confirm i’ve thought of similar stuff several times! but, anyway, this fic is really good.

3. staring at me (with your lips and tongue) by ethannku

rating: teen and up

warnings: none

“You really believe all that?” Leo asks, and if Jason were more aware of the world, he might’ve registered the hopeful breathiness in his voice. But as it is, he’s far too focused on the hand on his chest. He nods anyway, once he realizes Leo’s asked him a question.

Leo huffs and leans closer while simultaneously pulling Jason closer.

For a moment, they just look at each other, their noses inches apart. Leo’s breath comes in soft puffs on his face. There’s a hint of a smile on Leo’s face, but the corners waver as if he’s having second thoughts. Jason registers Leo’s eyelashes flickering, and his blood sings when he realizes he’s looking at Jason’s mouth.

Or; Jason is down bad, and Leo might be too.

this one’s really good, too. lot of kissing. a few suggestive references/jokes but no suggestive actions, just kissing. also has many piper moments mixed in :)

4. Crooked Glasses by thebigqueer

rating: teen and up

warnings: graphic depictions of violence

leo & jason confess their feelings for each other in an arcane-themed alternate universe.

~~

Leo has always been flirty. When he casually smirks at Jason and tells him how handsome he looks; when he bites his lip suggestively and tells Jason that no, he doesn’t mind if he changes his shirt in front of him; when Jason asks what’s for dinner and Leo responds, “Not sure, but I know you’re the desert,” Jason doesn’t make much of it. Sure, an occasional blush and an attempt at jokingly flirting back, but Jason knows he doesn’t mean it. Besides, he isn’t special. If Jason had to count the amount of people Leo had made out with just in the past year, it might take both his hands.

But lately it’s been different. There’s a softness in Leo’s eyes when he catches sight of Jason, a more soulful smirk when he offers that they sleep in the same bed, a hopefulness when he asks Jason if he wants to come with him on his next haul.

i’m gonna be honest: although i plan to someday, i’ve never seen arcane. and this is an arcane au. however, even though i know absolutely nothing about arcane, i did understand this, i think. i’m putting it here because a) it’s well written, b) it does in fact feature pining jason grace, and c) i have very limited options when it comes to valgrace fics anyway, so i don’t have much of a choice. yes, there is action and a mild fight with sherman yang and connor stoll, but it’s not that graphic in my opinion, but that’s just me; what’s more graphic is actually the gratuitous descriptions of leo’s gorgeousness from jason’s pov (understandably so). anyway, this is a good fic; if you’re not familiar with arcane, you can probably still read it, because i enjoyed it quite a lot!

5. hold me, thrill me, kiss me by restinreeses

rating: teen and up

warnings: none

“You love me,” Leo declares, his smirk widening with every passing second. “You, the great Jason Grace, love me.”

He fumbles for his words, but they melt in his mouth as Leo's hands snaked up the small of his back – those delicate fingers tracing patterns into his skin that burnt worse than his SPQR tattoo.

“I wouldn’t call myself great,” he mutters at last. Leo leans in, raising one thick eyebrow.

“I dunno,” he says, “I’d say you’re pretty great.” His lips brush over Jason's, once, twice. “You know. For loving me.”

...

In which Jason falls and Leo catches him.

okay, so i was debating whether or not to put this one because jason is still dating piper during this fic. she doesn’t make an appearance, she’s only mentioned, but jason and leo kissing is referred to by the both of them as an affair, which might make some uncomfortable. however, this has absolutely gorgeous writing. is jason still in love with piper during this fic, though? no. a bit complicated. however, it is, once again, pining jason as promised. they kiss a lot in this one, too.

enjoy!

— piper <33

[writingsfromhome]

School Photos

A/N: just a quick fluff one-shot to get me back online. happy August and fellow Leo season.

————————————————

“Please!” He begs for the umpteenth time. “Just one picture! I just wanna see one!”

“No! Mum look at me, all albums will be burned if you show anything.”

My family chuckles at my persistence but I was serious. Bringing home my uni boyfriend was going good so far. The only thing I had to avoid was him seeing pictures of me as a child.

“She had braces, even had to wear the headgear sometimes.” My brother teases.

“Shut up!” I glare.

“Yeah and she was obsessed with dolphins so anything she wore had them. And if they didn’t—mom didn’t she have these pictures you ironed on for her.”

“Oh!” Mom gasps. “I remember! The patches, the dolphin patches she bought from that one store um-“

“Remember when she wanted a mole so bad like Aunt Jess that she drew one on.”

“No way, I need to see the proof.” Harry grins, taking in my humiliation like a chilled glass of wine.

“She did it the whole summer until I told her it looked like shit on her face.” My brother says. “It was a kindness now that she looks back right yn?”

“Oh aren’t you Mother Teressa.” I mock. I didn’t want Harry to see me like this either—bothered and acting childish with my brothers but I had to pick and choose my battles here.

“Ok lay off her now boys, let us enjoy the pie your mum made.” My dad swoops to my rescue and I give him an appreciative smile.

“Daddy’s girl.” My brother mutters. Mom scolds him but she’s biting back a laugh. Ugh my family was infuriating.

Since we’d arrived late, right before dinner, Harry hadn’t seen my childhood bedroom so once we’re done around the table we head upstairs.

In between dinner and dessert I’d rushed up with an excuse for the loo and made sure to hide any evidence of my face between the ages of 5-16 in my room.

Now, I give Harry a tour of my childhood bedroom.

“I can imagine you sitting here sketching,” Harry brushes his hand along the oak desk dad had built for me in year 4 and has sat against the window since.

So much of my history lived in all these objects. I was happy that Harry could see it all laid out here, know the past parts of me he couldn’t exactly meet.

Not that he needed to see physical copies of all my past parts.

“And this is my shrine to Jesse McCartney.” I open the top drawer meant for pencils and small items but instead a poster of his face was glued down and tiny trinkets laid around including the ticket from the I went to one of his performances.

“So this is your man on the side. Keeping him tucked away at home hm?” Harry tugs the drawer more to reveal all of my teenage crazy.

“I was obsessed. He’s still a very attractive man.”

“That’s weird.”

“What? That he’s attractive?”

“No, he looks nothing like me.”

“Why would he-“ I roll my eyes when I realize what he’s getting at. “Well you should be flattered you don’t look like my childhood celeb crush. That’d be creepy.”

“I think this is a little creepy.” Harry crosses his arms and leans against the table. I take him in where he stands; he felt so much bigger than my childhood bedroom.

“It’s what teenage girls do. Ask your sister I’m sure she had one of these too.”

“So you’re okay showing me this,” Harry tugs my hand. “But not any pictures of you-“

“No. That’s not happening.”

“I promise I’ll still love you.”

“They’re just embarrassing!” I whine. “I always had a phase I was going through. I don’t want you to see any of them.”

“Why?” He cups my face. “It makes you interesting! I showed you the phase where I spiked my hair every day and thought I was in a boy band.”

“Your hair didn’t even spike,” I laugh into his chest, remembering the photo I had taken a copy of with my phone. His hair had looked like he woken up and taken a chainsaw to it.

“See you’re allowed to laugh at me!”

“Nooo,” I wrap my arms around his waist. “No photos. Now subject change: we’re meeting all my friends tomorrow so what do you want to do today?”

“I can crash.” Harry says. He brushes my hair back and gives my head a kiss. “Driving for 4 hours was more tiring than I thought.”

“Okay,” I was fine with cuddling and going to bed even though it was only 9. As long as I was with Harry, everything felt fun. We’d been dating for over a year now and I loved him in a way I never loved boyfriends from the past. I think he was the real deal.

We lie on my small bed and talk until we doze off. The next morning we wake to the smell of breakfast and my parents spoil us with food and laughter.

I give Harry a tour of my hometown before we meet with my friends from school. Everyone and their partners love Harry and I can’t help but beam as he fits seamlessly into the other half of my life.

He catches my eye every now and then and the smile he gives me makes me fall in love with him all over again.

After an evening spent with family at home and another early night, Harry and I head out to go back to uni the following morning.

Goodbyes are long and multiple hugs are involved all around.

As we settle in and head back onto the motorway, Harry points to the sun visor.

“Sun in your eye?”

“No?”

“Why don’t you flip it down?”

“It’s not?” I look him over. Was he okay?

“Just flip it down yeah? In case.”

“Okay?” I slowly flip the visor down and I gasp. “How could you?”

His laughter fills the car as I stare in horror. Tucked into the mirror is a school picture of me, probably Year 6. My braces are full on while I grimace-not even smile-into the camera. I’m wearing a tie-dye dolphin shirt with dolphin clips in my hair. My hair is in plaits except one of them is already fallen out; I’d probably been rough on the playground. It’s all topped off by a silver chunky chain I’d stolen from my brother—thinking it was real silver and would make me look cool.

“It’s my favourite picture of you,” Harry plucks it off and I realize I should have nabbed it while he was laughing. “I don’t think anything can top it really.”

“Harry I beg you to give that back.”

“Nope.” Harry pops the p with joy. He tucks it into his shirt pocket.

“Harry!”

“I love you. Looking at the picture just makes me love you more.” He glances over at me and pats my thigh. “Can you smile like that for me?”

“This is so unfair!” I cross my arms and face the front. “Who betrayed me?!”

“My lips are sealed.” He was having too much fun. I would get my family to crack—dad would probably tell me. Unless it was him.

“I’m gonna go for her for Halloween.” Harry says, trying to get through my wall of silence.

“Fine.” I sit up with an idea and flick through my phone for the picture I’d been keeping. “I’ll go as him.”

I wait for Harry to look over at me and gloat when his face falls.

“You’re not supposed to have a copy of that!”

“Well. We’re even now.”

I plant a sweet kiss on his cheek, feeling better already.

“You’re so lucky I’m driving.”

“You’re lucky or I would have wrestled that photo away from you ages ago.” I say and Harry looks at me skeptically. “I grew up with brothers don’t underestimate me.”

“Fine. Fine. We’re even.” Harry agrees. “And for the record. I love you. And I love her too.”

It’s true that what he says thaws me a little, the little girl in me, but I don’t let it show right now. I just look out the window and mumble a love you too. His hand comes down on my thigh and, still looking out the window, I intertwine our fingers. He could drive me crazy but it was true for me too. As much as I laughed at his photo, I loved him and that little boy too.

“You’re never visiting my parents ever again.” I tell him.

His only response is bringing our hands to his mouth.

I melt in my seat a little.

Whatever.

[agalactichalo]

Counting to Three: Holding it Together PT. 1 (TMNT 2012)

@tmnt-write-fight Attack For @dorky-pals

A big thank you @awildaspenappeared for helping me write this!

Author Note

Author has compulsions and used bits of their own experiences in this.

I will probably move this to A03 When I can make an account.

Summary

Leo had to count to three. One, two, three. His brothers all accounted for, it kept them safe. He was sure of that until suddenly Donatello wasn't present and he panicked.

What follows are tense arguments, strains between the brothers, a fight gone bad and Leo and Donnie have a spat. Need for space vs need for safety.

OR

An IDW event almost becomes canon because Leo and Donnie get caught out after bitching for a couple hundred words.

Word count: 2,388

♡━━━━━♡

One.. Two.. Three..

Red.. Orange.. Purple..

Raph.. Mikey.. Donnie..

The headcount loop Leo often found himself stuck in over, and over, and over throughout the day, finding himself only leaving the dojo of the lair to make sure everyone was still alive and safe. There were a few rooms the teen would check consistently, Donnie’s lab, the living room, the kitchen and Mikey and Raph’s bedrooms.

It turned into a routine, a force of habit. He would tell himself it was necessary, not wanting it to be a big deal so it was simply something to assure they were safe. It never changed from hour to hour however, one, two, three, his brother still in their usual spots, getting nothing more than a glance at most usually when he would check their space. Unless Mikey was in his room rather than in the kitchen, the youngest would sometimes try to pull him into conversation. He was smart with it, always having Leo participate in something that kept him there for more than a minute. It was sneaky but.. nice. It was the most normal feeling-thing as of late.

Unfortunately, his brother wasn’t ready to enter the dojo again, not that Leo could blame him. The empty shrine where what little pictures Splinter originally preserved being empty now made this all the more real. His room was still untouched but just the knowledge that Splinter had never reopened that door in the dojo was a haunted thought.

This day was no different, Leo had done the headcount religiously, only leaving the dojo to do so. Looking around as he made his usual rounds. One. Two. Three? Surely he just made a mistake. There had to be three. He needed to check again, there just had to be three! Where did his brother go? One: Raph was lounging in the living room, comic on his lap and Chompy on his plastron trying to follow along.

Two: Mikey was in his room and was once again flipping through a scrapbook Leo knew was filled with photos of them and Splinter. Icecream Kitty’s bowl resting next to him, as Mikey showed the cat every image he had, giving a brief story for each. Three? Donnie’s lab was empty. And he hadn’t seen the other leave it since Splinter’s death unless it was for patrol or food. Forcibly at that!

Leo kept trying to tell himself he was overthinking, that things were fine, but the only other places he could think to look were the bathroom and kitchen. Maybe the other just got hungry. He kept telling himself, that was until he was faced with another empty room. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. He can not lose anyone else. Not again! He’s already lost his father. And his brother had already been dead once!

The living room wasn’t too far away. Leo headed over to Raph with vigor. “Have you seen Donnie?!” He asked frantically, looking around the room just in case he missed sight of his tallest sibling somehow.

“Leo, you are taking this whole, checking on us thing way too far.” Raph replied as he lazily turned a page. Chompy let out a churr, which would have the teen stop reading and pet the little guy. “He probably just needed some fresh air, you know like most people? If you could call a mutant turtle a person.” He snarked, sarcasm and wit dripped from his words pooled on his tongue, ready to poison the next. He hadn’t seen the other leave but he had other things to do than babysit his immediate younger twin brother.

“Raph this isn’t funny! What if something happened? He would have told us if he left wouldn’t he?” Leo sputtered out quickly, his hands gesturing and moving aimlessly as he spoke. It felt wrong without the count being completed, his anxiety rising rather quickly. He had to finish the count but he couldn’t do that without Donnie… What was he saying? He was worried for Donatello’s whereabouts, not just that a sequence was finished.

It didn’t take long for Leo to leave Raph to his own devices, going to see if their youngest brother had seen Donnie. Mikey sitting up from his bed as his door was opened, “Hey Leo, weren’t you just in here?”

“I was Mikey,” Leo would pat his little brother's head lightly, trying to hide his anxiety. “Have you seen Donnie anywhere?” “No, but maybe he made himself smaller with some of his chemicals and sciency stuff! Oh! Oh! Or maybe he managed to make an invisibility ring, like the one I have in Mazes and Mutants!” Mikey would exclaim, grinning ‘ear to ear’ or well more accurately tympanum to tympanum.

Leonardo didn’t know if that was possible, but then again, they were just in space for six months fighting in situations that were arguably even less possible. What if Mikey was right! No that was ridiculous- but he has been right about oddities before! This was enough to kick his anxiety into high gear, making him check every room in the house again,  “Donnie! Where are you?!” Leo would call out as he looked, soon getting to the one room that didn’t pass his mind to even check, the door opening before he could even reach for the handle.

“Why is it so loud out here?” Donnie would ask more groggily, his blanket loosely draped over himself. He had overwhelmed himself with all the work he was giving himself to do, finally allowing himself to get some rest. Unfortunately for him that was short lived by his brother's anxiety.

“Donnie! Are you okay? You look like shell, where were you? You weren’t in your lab or the living room!” Leo would start mother hen Donnie, his hands on his younger brother's shoulders as he spoke.

“Did you forget I have a bedroom?” Donnie asked, his eyebrow ridge raised, moving to cross his arms as he looked down at his older brother.

“You normally aren’t there- I-” Leo would start to explain to Donnie, realising how ridiculous it probably sounded now that it was being said out loud.

“You could have checked there- listen Leo, your constant checking is getting worse, it feels like every few hours-,, no, every hour at this point you are checking on all of us.” Donnie would start to explain however soon hear his twin speak, cutting him off an annoyed sigh escaping Donnie.

Raph chiming in with an, “An hour is generous Donnie.” A more annoyed tone of voice, standing at the end of the hallway leaning against the doorframe.

Donnie rolled his eyes waiting for Raph to be done before giving a “anyway what I am trying to say is it feels like it is turning into-.. or has turned into a compulsion. Well they are hard to deal with they can be helped if-"

"I don't need help! They, they aren't.. compulsions or whatever. I'm simply checking that none of my brother's are in danger. I-I” Leonardo would stop himself from being too vulnerable with his brothers, seeming too weak. “I promised Splinter to keep you all safe and so far my ‘checking’ has!"

“Leo, your ‘checking’ only feels like it is helping because it is a safe constant, when you experience compulsions, from in this case a large change. It is to avoid negative outcomes that may not even be real, they are in an unhealthy way to relieve stress and-” Donnie would grow more annoyed when he was cut off again. The mixture of being sleep deprived, overstimulated and cut off making him want to yell.

“Donnie, stop. None of that is true. Have you eaten? Last time I checked on you, you hadn’t.” Leo would try to deflect the situation off of himself, it wasn’t true after all! The other was pushing his buttons in the worst ways right now and he didn’t know how much more of his pushing he could take.

“We aren’t kids anymore Leo, we know how to handle ourselves.”

"You?! You know how to handle yourself? You can’t even take care of yourself without constant reminders to step away from your childish tinkering!” “As if you’re much better. You can’t cook anything but ramen yourself.”

“What? And you can do better?” “Actually, yes I-” “And what about how you are always the first to get hurt in every single damn fight we have?” “Oooooh, Leo swore!” Mikey chimed in, trying to ease the tension, standing at his door with Icecream Kitty’s bowl in both hands. “Leo! That is not fair-” “Fair? There is no fairness in combat. You have to be the very best or you’ll end up dead. Again!”

“Do you want to fight with a literal stick?”

“I’d do it better than you.”

“Then how about you do it!” Donnie unsheathed his bō staff from his holder and shoved it into Leo’s hands harshly before he made for the lair exit.

Leo would stare at the bō staff quietly, he knew how to react when Raph acted like this, but he didn't expect it from his other brothers! He soon snapped out of his thoughts as he watched Donnie walk away. He started to move to follow his brother.

Raph could sympathize with how his brother felt here, so he would move and hold Leo back. “Leo, let him blow off some steam,” seeing himself in Donnie as Donnie walks off.

“What? No! I can't just- Donnie come back!” Leo yelled after him, he didn't know what else to do, he can't handle himself, he's been too vulnerable lately. Everything was wound tightly on a coil he meticulously upheld. Yet he could only watch as it unraveled before him, in a mess of emotions.

Leo however would ignore Raph's attempt at stopping him from going after their brother, leading to him nearly getting tackled by Raph. He pushed his brother away, Mikey carefully grabbing onto Raph's arm. Mikey could not have another brother leave right now. “Do.. Do you want to bake something with me?”

Donnie found himself traveling to the place he usually goes to find materials for his creations, the scrap yard. Tired eyes surveyed around at the broken parts littered around in their janky, uneven piles.

He didn’t have his usual mental list of things he was hoping to find, he mostly just wanted to get away. Tinkering with technology, figuring out chemical solutions and drawing plans was his form of escapism. Though it was hard to escape when your head was too cloudy to think.

“Donnie what are you doing?” Leo would ask the bō staff held outstretched, as if offering a truce as he held the staff for Donnie to grab. “You don't need anything from here right now and it'll be dawn soon. Stop being stupid and come back to the lair.”

Donnie looked over, his gaze switched from his bō staff to his brother's gaze “I’m not being stupid, Leo. I am taking some much needed space after your constant helicoptering!”

Donnie pinched the bridge of his beak and sighed heavily. “Leo, I'm not trying to start an argument or debate right now. I'm just trying to have some space.”

“You think that leaving without your weapon, with no one knowing where you were going was the best thing to do? Seriously! I need to know where you all are, you-you-I-you could get hurt or get in trouble and we wouldn't even know.” Leo started pacing, the anxiety pulsing through his body needing some sort of outlet.

“No. You'd be far safer in the lair where I can make sure you're all safe for the moment.” Leo started tapping against the bō staff with nerves strung high. “We should go. Now.”

"Shell! Leo! I can't be there for you every second of every day!" Donnie shouted exasperated. He'd exhausted every logical option there was. Donnie twiddled his thumbs in circular, repetitive motions. Using this motion to help himself calm down and breathe, “It feels like you guys never listen to me unless it’s what you want to hear, Leo I was trying to help.”

“I’m supposed to be the one helping you guys Donnie- Master Splinter said that I was to replace him as Sensei as a-” Leo cut himself off. He swallowed thickly but continued calmly, acting as if he hadn't just choked on his words. “If anything happened to him, my duty is to solve all your problems.” Donnie listened to Leo talk, his gaze growing from annoyed to sympathetic and more sad. “Awkward sibling hug?” He offered. Stood there holding out hands, his stance more awkward than purely tense.

“Awkward sibling hug.”

 The teen walked over to his older brother, wrapped him in an awkward sibling hug, two gentle pats onto his brother's carapace. “Pat. Pat.” He added trying to lighten the mood a little as he choked out, “You are our brother Leo, you may be our leader but you are our brother first, we can help our problems together.”

Donnie gave a mischievous grin, “Or we could tell Mikey you are bottling up your feelings again?” Knowing his brother would pester at Leo until he cracked. No one could resist Mikey's puppy-dog eyes.

“Okay! Okay! You win, just don’t tell Mikey” Leo would laugh, shaking his head moving to tap his brother's carapace with his hand. “Let’s just go home now before someone sees us.” “Yeah, let’s head home now.” Donnie then diverted his eyes to his staff that Leo offered once again. “Thanks.” He twirled the staff briefly before sheathed it on his back.

They snuck under the familiar fence with the large hole in it and began to make their way home when all of a sudden Bebop and Rocksteady crash down from their rooftop perch heavily. Well Rocksteady did. Bebop more or less landed on top of the rhinoceros.

This caused Leo to immediately settle into the previous preconceived notions he had at the realisation that all of his anxieties were real. If he was stopped by Raph, Donnie would be in so much danger right now. This was proof his system kept them safe because when the system didn't work, they got into dangerous situations and fights.

At least now he could protect his little brother.

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Can you write about the Last Ronin where we were his girlfriend before everything went to shit and we meet him again but he also get to meet his child as well? Btw I frickin' love your fanfiction, I hope you keep expanding you work.🥹

16 Years: part 1 (Angst)

TLR!Michelangelo x reader

Part 2 (18+) Part 3 (18+)

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A/N: Thank you so much🖤 I feel like writing for TLR has opened whole new world of writing for me, and I will love to do more, even if I cry every time😭🖤 I had “Tout L'univers” by Gjon’s Tears playing on repeat as I was writing this, so when I tell you I was bawling my eyes out, I was BAWLING. For some reason I just had to make everything worse for poor Mikey😭

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Warnings: Spelling, The Last Ronin and The Lost Years spoilers, loss of loved ones, loss of child, mentioning of suicide, trauma, self hatred, crying (not just in writing, omg), and probably a lot more.

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For 16 years, Mikey had tried to live with the spirits of those he had lost. Trying to find peace with them, and let them be. But he just couldn’t. Mikey just couldn’t rest with all these faces he used to love surrounding him, knowing that he could not help them. Raphael, Leonardo, Casey, April, the Fugetoid, Master Splinter, Donatello, Gerel, Shaka. All of them haunted him, speaking to him, telling him what to do. His brothers even went so far as to belittle him for his actions and failures. Every. Single. Day.

But if there was one face that Mikey couldn’t handle around him, it was yours. He dared not to look at you, nor the child you carried on your hip. The pain from seeing the two of you, in complete silence, not speaking a single word, being the only ones that actually did as he asked - staying quiet and letting him think. He looked at you once, the pain of seeing you and the young child in your arms, was almost enough for him to end it all before he even made it to Korea.

But though Mikey never looked at you, he felt your presence with him everywhere he went. You always followed closely behind, carrying your little bundle of love, just like you did the day he lost you…

Mikey hated how clearly he remembered it. It had been absolute chaos. They never had a chance. Leo had told him to bring April and the Fugetoid, all making sure nothing happened to you. You, Mikey’s girlfriend, who had been in the second stage of your first pregnancy. You, the only woman that Mikey had ever loved. You, the only person who was willing to let him think of something, other than his horrible war of a family feud, and his so-called destiny. You, the love of his life, and the only reason Mikey has seen a reason to fight in the first place…

Mikey had lingered for too long. That’s at least what he told himself. He should just have done as Leo had said, and gotten you out of the building. He should never had hesitated. If he hadn’t, then maybe you wouldn’t have been caught in the explosion. Then maybe you, April… and the kid would still have been alive.

Mikey still remembered how strangely numb he had been when he woke up from the explosion. His body ached all over, but it was as if he felt nothing. You were all gone. There was no way any of you could have survived that explosion. Leo, the Fugetoid, Casey, April, you… and them. That was what Mikey referred to the long lost life as - them. Giving them a name would just slowly kill him over time, making everything harder than it needed to be. Almost as hard as it was so leave the ruins of your grave, without trying to look for your body. But as much as Mikey wanted to stay and look for you, he had to leave for the last family he had left, before they too were gone.

But like always, he was too late for that too. Donnie and Master Splinter was already far gone when he made it to Japan. That was Mikey’s breaking point, and the first time he wished to end his suffering. Everyone was gone. His friends, his brothers, his father, the love of his life and his unborn child. Mikey was angry. Not just at the world around him, but himself. He could just have stayed with the two of you. He could have found you and laid you to rest. Giving you, his brother, his friends and his child a proper burial. But he didn’t, and he hated himself for it.

Mikey hated himself everyday. He hated himself for not being able to protect you, and he hated himself for not taking care of you. And taking care of his own damn child. As he forced himself through the snow of the Japanese mountains, as he trained under Master Yip, when he momentarily went blind in Mongolia, and when he had to fight for his life in Ukraine, before finally defeating Death Worm in Italy, all Mikey could do was think about you and how hate himself. But soon he learned that there was only one way to make up for his mistakes. Revenge. Revenge for all that had been done to his family. Oroku Hiroto would have to feel the pain that Mikey had been feeling for the past 16 years. And that was what Mikey came to New York for. Revenging all of his family, especially the one that didn’t even have a name.

But as it has happened so many times, Mikey’s plans did not go as he intended. His first assault on Oroku Hiroto was a failure to put it frankly, leaving him wounded as he had to retreat to the sewers he once called his home. Here he intended to do what any honorable ninja would do - take his own life before the enemy could get him. But then, for the first time in 16 years, life had better plans for him, the universe deciding to keep him alive once more. Mikey’s wounds were so great, that he passed out of blood loss before any harm could be done to him. That was when Casey Marie found him, calling out for her mother, telling her to help.

Mikey woke up in a warm bed a few hours later. Confused, he scanned his surroundings, wondering if he was dead. It looked like the lair - his old home. But then he saw April, and for the first time the world shone a light upon him. April, his dearest friend, was alive. In all these years, she had been alive. He learned that she was not alone. Her daughter was there too.

“Is it just you and your daughter down here?”, Mikey asked as he slowly swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

“No”, April answered calmly, a smile spreading over her face. “We do live with two others. I really think you should meet them, Michelangelo. Right now they’re out in the sewers, looking for stuff to bargain with on the Black Market, but I think they could be home any time soon”.

And as if April’s words were magical, distant clatter of metal could be heard, alerting them to people entering the lair.

“Aunt April!”, the voice of a young man yelled, the volume of his voice getting stronger as he approached the room. Then he barged in, proudly holding up something in his hand. It looked like a little metal lump with wires sticking out all over the place. “See what I found! Can you believe it?! Someone just dropped this into the sewer! Don’t they know how much this is worth?! Idiots! Imagine the comic books I can get out of Tinker with this! I can finish father’s old collection!”

Mikey froze at the sight of the boy. It was not his impressive height he had for a teenager, nor the muscles on his arms that shocked Michelangelo, but it was the color of the boy's skin. It was green. Light green to be specific. Mikey’s eyes wandered over him, taking him in, ignoring the growing smile on April’s lips, or how the boy suddenly seemed to notice the large turtle’s presence in the room. Mikey’s mouth was dry as he saw the three slender fingers on his hands, his lack of hair, the outline of what looked like a plastron on his front, and the unmistakable shell-like shape on his back. And his eyes, strangely recognizable.

The boy’s hand fell to his side, the metallic object suddenly not seeming interesting anymore. His eyes wide as he took the stranger sitting on the bed. Mikey in turn just stared. The two of them looking with their mouths agasp.

“Yoshi”, a voice sounded out in the hallway, breaking the silence. Mikey’s heart almost stopped. He knew that voice. It was the voice he had longed for so long. The voice he had blamed himself for silencing. Yet there it was. Just outside the door. “Be nice to your aunt. She might be working…”

You froze in the doorway. Mikey almost broke down. It was the face he had forced himself to look away from for 16 years. The face of the silent woman that used to carry a baby around wherever he traveled. You looked older, but still as beautiful as the day he first met you. Your eyes sparkling with the same light he fell in love with, all those years ago.

“Mikey?” you whispered, holding back a sop as your eyes began to water. The mentioning of his name caused the boy’s eyes to flicker.

Mikey could only nod, feeling his heart pump his blood so fast that he was starting to get dizzy. You ran to him, hugging him tighter than you ever had before. His hands tightened around you, his throat knotting up, making him fight for air. He buried his face against the crock of your neck, feeling all of your muscles move as you sobbed against him. You cradled his head against you, holding him against you, tracing his head, shell, shoulders and arms.

“I’ve missed you so much, Mikey”, you sobbed, bringing his head up to look at you, before placing a quick kiss on his lips. That was what broke him. He returned your quick kiss with urgency before he broke down in tears, hiding his face against you once more. 16 years of fear and pain finally boiled over, Mikey could finally let it go. At least for a short while. He almost clawed at your clothes in order to get you closer to him. It was as if no physical connection was enough.

“I’ve missed you too, (Y/N)”, he choked out, letting the tears fall as your comforting hands made shapes on his skin.

“Mom?”

Still holding on to Mikey, you turned to look at the boy. The poor guy looked so confused, but Mikey had a feeling. The boy most likely also had. Both of them just waiting for her to confirm what they had already guessed.

“Yoshi, sweetheart”, you said, wiping a tear away, before reaching out a hand to him. “Come and say hello to your father”.

Neither Yoshi or Mikey said a word, staring at each other as he made his way over to you. April wiped one of her own tears away, before she left the room with a smile, closing the door behind her. It was time for the three of you to catch up.

You slowly moved out of the way, letting Yoshi stand in front of Mikey. None of them knew what to say. All they could do was look at each other, trying to calm their erratic breathing. Then suddenly, Yoshi launched forward, wrapping his arms around his father in a tight embrace, the tears rolling down his face. Mikey hugged back immediately, finally getting a chance to hug the kid he thought he had lost.

“I’m sorry, Yoshi”, Mikey choked out, trying his best to keep calm. “I’m sorry I couldn't take care of you and your mother”.

“It’s okay, dad”, Yoshi said, smiling even though his eyes were overflowing and his body was shaking. “I took care of her while you were gone”.

[once-upon-an-animation]

A rant about Reyna’s love life situation in ToA…

So I just read the Tyrant’s Tomb and uhhh…I see why people have such mixed feelings about what happened with Reyna. Here are my thoughts (w/ spoilers of course).

- First of all, that whole Lester/Reyna pseudo love story thing was so…weird? Like, I understood the point of getting Reyna to reflect on dating, but like, did she really need a bizarre romantic subplot with Lester to achieve that? The whole incident w/ Venus felt like it only existed solely for the sake of this moment with Reyna, seeing as it was first introduced in this same book, and will likely be forgotten about afterwards. As a result, the whole thing seems so random with no buildup whatsoever. I think there are better ways to introduce Reyna’s interest in taking on celibacy and joining the Hunters than this pile of weirdness with Lester/Apollo.

- Second of all, a lot of Reyna’s dialogue concerning her love life sounded like Rick Riordan just inserting himself into the story, and it was extremely cringey. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it was OOC for Reyna to say these things, but the language choices made it clear that RR was just using the character to voice his own thoughts (I literally cringed when he used the word “ship” unironically in her speech to Lester/Apollo near the end of the book. Nobody talks like this.) We have never seen any of the kids at New Rome actually mention Reyna’s love life in any of the books as far as I remember (let me know if I’m wrong). So this problem she has with other people “shipping” her doesn’t seem real in-universe and feels like it’s being brought up to address the fandom specifically and sort of…scold(?) them for shipping Reyna with other characters.

In addition, I don’t like it when authors use their characters as a disguise for their own thoughts. It ruins the integrity of the character and the story. If you have something to say to the fandom, just say it instead of hiding behind your character.

- Third, I find the line where Reyna says “Why do healthy friendships have to progress into romance” (or something like that) in response to Lester/Apollo asking her if she’s dating Thalia to be really hypocritical. Romance is a very major theme in RR’s books and he has a knack for pairing up as many characters as possible, even characters who don’t really need to be a relationship/whose romances could have worked just as well as a friendship. This line Reyna says about not every friendship needing to be a romance could apply to almost every couple in this franchise.

I give Percabeth, Frazel, SilenaxBeckendorf, and EmmiexJo a pass, because romance genuinely complements their stories, but as far as other ships goes, I actually think their romances were unnecessary/poorly executed/could’ve worked just as well as a friendship. ChrisxClarisse definitely didn’t need to be a thing; Clarisse doesn’t even give off romance vibes anyway and Chris stops existing after TLO. Grover and Juniper are cute, but nothing would change if their relationship didn’t exist. Jasper/Jiper might have genuinely been better as friends. Caleo ABSOLUTELY didn’t need to happen; I personally believe romance was NOT the best resolution for Leo’s arc. I give props to Nico and Will for being the first gay ship, but again, RR should not be using romance as a bandaid for emotional conflicts. Nico should learn to maintain healthy friendships first before jumping into romance. TysonxElla did not need to happen for any reason at all. A lot of the hinted pairings in The Hidden Oracle (Miranda & Sherman, Chiara x Damien, Valentina x Paolo) didn’t need to exist either. These are all side characters whose romances have little to no impact, and who would lose nothing if they were all just friends. Same for Lavinia x Poison Oak.

As you can see, RR loves to pair people up together. And most of these pairings are straight/straight-passing. But Reyna maybe liking girls is where he finally draws the line, and decides that romance doesn’t need to happen all the time? Seriously? Like don’t get me wrong, it’s cool to finally have a character in this franchise who chooses to be happily single, and I know that Thalia has not expressed any interest in women (neither has Reyna, tbh), but like…still. RR has been gung-ho about romance everywhere else, even with characters where it literally didn’t matter. Why did he draw the line here?

All of this also makes me wonder if Piper/Shel became a thing just to placate disappointed fans who wanted to see a major character in a wlw relationship. I remember RR’s tweet where he was like “I didn’t want to make Reyna like girls because it would seem like girls only like girls if things don’t work out with boys”. This is a nice sentiment, but it becomes questionable when you realize that what he tried to avoid with Reyna is basically what he did with Piper? And to make matters worse, Shel is such a non-character. She exists for a few pages at the very end of the final series, has no canon personality or physical appearance (as far as I remember), and she’s so unimportant, she doesn’t even have a last name! Her only purpose in the story is to show us that Piper likes girls, which is so lame! Why not give a wlw between two fully fleshed out characters instead of this last-minute romance between a major character and a character who’s just a device?

- Lastly, I’m really tired of RR shoving the female characters that he doesn’t want to pair up into vows of celibacy (Rachel, Thalia, and now Reyna). In fact, this happens with the male characters too, where they are either dating (Percy, Grover, Tyson, Leo, Nico, Will, Frank, Jason) or they’re dead (Luke, Octavian, Jason).

Reyna was so close to being the first major character who didn’t fall into this pattern and then it was ruined. There are many options that people can have for their love lives beyond dating or mandatory celibacy, Richard Riordan, and these options are not that hard to write/explore even in a book aimed at preteens. The characters could easily say that they’re not interested in romance at the moment and may become interested at a later point, that they’re interested but are waiting for a person that they truly want to date, that they’re working on friendships right now, that they’re focused on other things right now, etc. Not everyone needs to be paired up, but not everyone needs to take on a vow of celibacy either. Characters are allowed to just be single, no explanations given. There are so many things Reyna could do besides being a Hunter. She could go to school, travel the world, do something similar to Emmie and Jo where she creates a safe haven for others, maybe even a safe haven for abused girls such as a herself. Becoming a Hunter is not the only option here.

Sorry for the length of this rant, and sorry if this post sounds hyper-critical of Rick. I’m just not impressed with the way Reyna’s love life was handled, and how she explained it using dialogue that was essentially just Rick Riordan talking. Very weird.

[boots-with-the-fur-club]

Chapter 6 of The Teenage Mutant Phantom of the Opera!

@daboyau

“Leo! Are you here? I’m really sorry if I hurt your feelings somehow! I just want to talk!” Usagi calls out, alone on the stage.

“You don’t need to apologize.”

Usagi jumps in surprise, then turns around to see him entering from the direction of the main entrance for once.

“You came back!” He rushes down the stairs.

“Because this wasn’t about anything you did, it was me. I’m sorry I made you think I’d stop talking to you.”

“Apology accepted! How’s your hand?” Usagi gently holds the one remembers was cut and looks it over.

Leo’s other hand starts fluttering at his side.

“It’s fine.”

Usagi’s happy face turns to one in confusion when he sees there’s zero trace of the cut.

“Oh, I guess it is. Must not have been that deep of a cut.”

Leo takes a breath, letting himself feel the fur against his hand.

“It’s the reason I left. I was….afraid. I realized that I was wrong to think that you’d hold something like this against me. I want to show you what scared me, can I?”

Usagi nods.

Leo slowly takes away his hand and holds out the knife from before. He cuts along the palm, hardly flinching as he does.

Usagi stares in shock before Leo holds his hand up and shows that the cut heals before his very eyes.

“It’s completely gone.”

Leo wipes the blood off his hand.

“I have no idea why I’m like this, it’s….not normal, I know.”

Usagi isn’t 100% sure since he’s not a turtle yokai, but he doesn’t think he’s heard of one being able to heal like this.

Donnie could be right about who also is.

Oh! Donnie!

He forgot what he promised!

“You were right. You don’t need to be worried. I’ve seen a lot of weird things, and this is by far one of the coolest.”

Leo melts at how he says it like the weird part of this all is okay, good even.

He puts his knife away.

“I should have known you’d understand.”

“Of course, Leo. I might actually be able to help you figure out why too!”

Leo looks at him in confusion.

“How?”

“I know what you’re going to say, but just hear me out, okay?”

“Always.”

Usagi’s takes a breath.

“So Donnie-Leo! You said you’d listen! What’s with that face!?”

Leo has the expression of someone who’s just stepped in something squishy.

“I didn’t say anything to stop you from talking.”

“I know you don’t like him and I get why, but please just give him a chance. Leo, he could be your brother.”

Leo feels himself tense.

“Excuse me?”

Usagi takes out his phone.

“I promised I’d tell him when I found you, he can come over and we can all talk about it together!”

Leo has to hold himself back from grabbing the phone and breaking it to pieces. Instead, he holds onto Usagi’s wrist gently.

“Please. Don’t.”

“What? Why? Is it because of how he acted before with me? I promise that he has nothing against you.”

Leo starts feeling sick to his stomach.

If there were three more turtle creatures in the lab he was found in, why was he the only one left alone?

What could he, as a baby, do to deserve to be the only one that wasn’t saved?

He was scarred, physically, mentally, in almost complete isolation at most times.

What if that rat didn’t want him even now?

What if everything about how his life is comes out and takes away what he has left while giving him nothing?

He already freaked out once, he can’t lose control again.

“Yuichi. I’m not ready. This is….life altering. I need this to go much slower. I can’t go right into meeting him.”

Usagi’s ears droop. He understands why he feels this way, and he himself feels guilty for making a promise that Leo might not have agreed to.

“Is it….okay if I tell him I found you but that you want more time?”

Leo is very aware at the moment just how far he’s willing to go for Usagi.

Terrorizing and running off the other lead was much objectively crazier but also what Leo has already done in the past.

This, was….different. Already not getting rid of Donnie right away was different.

He makes him different.

“Yes, but if he tries to see me I’m leaving.”

Usagi smiles and Leo feels like he’ll never regret this decision, even if he already is.

“Thank you. Now I can keep my pinky.” Usagi jokes, tapping on his phone.

Leo decides not to question that statement.

The phone only rings once.

“Did you find him!? Is he with you right now?”

“Yes, but-“

“Tracking your location!”

“What!? No! Hold on! Donnie! He doesn’t want to meet yet!”

“What are you talking about? Why not?”

“He’s not ready.”

“Not-not ready!? I’ve lived 15 years without a brother I was supposed to have and he’s not ready?”

“Donnie, he’s spent all this time believing he didn’t have brothers period. Give him a break here, please.”

Donnie sighs heavily through the phone.

“I can’t believe I’m asking for this, but isn’t there something in the middle we could do? At least a plan to meet eventually.”

Usagi takes several seconds to think about what they could do that Leo would be comfortable with.

His nose twitches as an idea comes to him.

He puts himself on mute.

“Leo, you can come to our first performance! You were going to anyways, right?”

“I….don’t know, Yuichi.”

“I can get you a ticket in the back, you could come in late and avoid the crowds. Any time you feel uncomfortable you can just portal away.”

Leo’s stomach drops again.

Sitting next to all those people?

He was just going to watch the performance while hidden somewhere.

The anxiety in his heart mixes together with the absolute excitement at a chance of getting a better view at Usagi, being able to watch the culmination of everything they worked for together.

Could he do it?

Can he even try?

He glances at Usagi’s eyes, those comfortingly warm brown eyes filled with so much kindness and compassion.

“I’ll…..I’ll do it.”

Usagi smiles widely and Leo feels yet again that this is both the best and worst decision he’s ever made.

Usagi unmutes himself.

“Leo’s coming to our first show!”

“I suppose that’s better than nothing. Fine. You and I are pulling out all the stops then, understood?”

“I was already planning on it! I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I want to ask one more thing.”

“What is it?”

“When is his birthday?”

Usagi hesitates slightly since he wasn’t expecting that question, but covers the phone anyways as he looks over at Leo.

“When’s your birthday?”

“I don’t know what my real one is, but August 17th was picked for me.”

Usagi moves his hand.

“August 17th.”

He hears Donnie chuckle softly, but in the way that a villain would when his plan is coming together.

“That’s the birthday I chose for myself! I considered the 12th but 17 has a nicer shape to it.”

“That is such a big coincidence.”

“Not a coincidence. Proof. Evidence. Talk later.” Donnie hangs up.

Usagi puts his phone away.

“I’m glad we got that sorted out. Why don’t we relax together instead of practicing?”

“But….you didn’t get any lessons from me last time because I ran off. The performance is soon, don’t you want all the practice you can get?”

“You’re more important than that. Besides, I could use some downtime.”

Leo is constantly reminded why his obsession has taken such a hold.

They spend the rest of the time Usagi has talking about nothing and everything. The opera was at the back of their minds for the moment, and they had a better time for it.

Leo once again watches Usagi leave, then makes his way to his main hidden room. There’s a chest full of costume items that he’s taken from other productions.

He digs through the different articles of clothing before finding the set he left at the bottom.

A white dress shirt, a blue bow tie, dark blue dress pants and vest with gold buttons, black dress shoes, blue gloves, and a blue cape where only the underside has stars.

It matches his equally star filled mask.

When he took this years ago, all of the items were far too big.

They’d fit perfectly for what’s right come.

The time until the performance almost blurs by for everyone. It’s so busy for Usagi and Donnie they can hardly believe the practices will become the real thing.

They were working harder than ever to make sure it would be the best opening night possible.

For Leo, the nervousness and anxiety whittled his time away.

Usagi had given him his ticket, it was in the back row as promised.

Now it was just minutes before the performance is supposed to start and Donnie stares hard from the slightly drawn curtain into the crowd.

“Don’t worry, we’ll see him once it starts.” Usagi insists from behind him.

“You’re sure he’ll actually be here?”

“He said he would be and I trust him. Have faith.”

Donnie grumbles as he closes the curtain and heads to where they’re supposed to be with him.

Leo’s portal opens up above his seat and he drops down onto it.

The people around him stare in shock until the curtains open up.

Leo can’t pay attention at first, the stares already having gotten to him already. Knowing he’s surrounded by actual people in these usually empty seats makes his heart beat out of his chest.

That all changes when Usagi starts singing and his eyes snap to attention.

His heart keeping beating fast, but for a much different reason.

Usagi is gorgeous on the stage. His entire presence perfectly captures the character, even from where he’s sitting.

He did it.

He’s doing it.

Exactly what they wanted to do.

He’s so entranced with Usagi that he doesn’t notice Donnie scanning the crowd once again when he enters the stage.

Donnie stares right at the seat Usagi told him the ticket was for and has an immense feeling of familiarity.

The outfit he’s wearing is something Donnie would have picked in a heartbeat, save for a few changes to make it look crisper.

The smile on his face, the look in his eyes, even the way he sits.

They’re brothers, they have to be.

His performance is invigorated by this fact. He sings like never before. Leo’s laser focused vision was even slightly turning his way as he did.

Usagi can’t help but feel encouraged too, knowing how special this moment is in so many ways.

People are clearly impressed when the song ends with a roar of clapping.

Two turtles and a rat in the front row seem the most enthusiastic about it.

Eventually, it’s time for the intermission and Leo once again feels the anxiety rush in.

He leaves alongside the other viewers in the crowd into the lobby.

There’s some relief in seeing other people wear masks just as added decoration to themselves for this special occasion.

He’s not sure what to do so he just people watches for a bit, taking is still the first time he’s been next to this many….ever.

There’s some talking about how good the performance is, some heading for a bathroom break, and others buying food and drinks.

Movement to his side catches his eye, someone moved too fast against the direction of someone else.

His body moves on its own and a smaller body wearing a suit falls into his arms.

“Nice catch Raphie-oh! You are not Raph.” The turtle yokai comments as he cranes his neck backwards to look up at him.

“No, I’m not. Are you okay?” Leo stands him up.

The yokai nods enthusiastically.

“Thanks to you! I’m Mikey.”

Should he also give his name?

There doesn’t seem to be any immediate harm in it.

“Leo. Glad you’re okay, enjoy the show.”

Mikey’s eyes seem to light up at hearing his name. They then look Leo over curiously, stopping at his face.

Leo immediately feels self conscious and glances away in embarrassment.

“Wow, your markings are so pretty!”

That is not what he was expecting.

“Th-Thank you.”

He hates the stutter that comes out from him at times.

“Do you think you can help me get back to my dad and brother? I was trying to get to them before I got knocked over.”

“I’m sorry, I should really be going.”

Mikey gives the biggest puppy dog eyes that Leo has ever seen, he’s not even sure this level of sad cuteness should exist. It should be illegal.

“Pleeeeeeeeease? I would really appreciate it!”

“I…..okay, which way are they?”

Mikey smiles at him and takes his hand, pulling him in the same direction he was heading before he fell.

Leo finds it odd that this kid would hold his hand after just meeting him. He looks a little too old to be doing that.

They eventually get to where a large turtle and a small rat yokai are-

….

Oh.

Oh no.

[galacticwildfire]

Amilyn Holdo being an astrology girl is one of the best takeaways from Leia Princess of Alderaan, as well as confirming that there is a belief in the mystical side of astrology within the star wars universe.

Because as a fellow astrology girl I know she was looking at Poe and trying to figure out where their version of aries sits on his birthchart. Although whoever decided Poe's canon birthday did do their research.

Now that I'm on a tangent forgive me for delving into a fictional characters astrology in proposing a basic birth chart for Poe since this is something I've thought about (more than I should) but considering I'm an amateur astrologer it's inevitable.

Canonically he is a taurus sun when we subtract the different galaxies/planets part, but that is also canonically what Holdo studies so... He reads as being very water/fire sign heavy due to his sensitivity, but I think an Aquarius rising would fit him well with a Sagittarius moon since Aquarius is very much the dreamer of the signs, while still being quite stubborn and rebellious, while Sagittarius is all about freedom and exploration. These placements combined is "i belong to the stars" personified.

I'd put Aries for his mercury since there's a level of frustration and sensitivity when it comes to communication, especially when it doesn't go the way he wants, while still being quick and confident with his decisions in the field, although it could also lean towards Leo considering the leadership role he takes on.

Poe is a water sign venus, no discussion. I would put him at first glance as a cancer venus, however due to how important commitment is to him and the lengths he will go to due to that along with his all or nothing approach to things I could equally label him as an example of a healthy scorpio venus. I would also label Kes as being one as well actually. A passionate and sensual lover, completely and utterly committed, loyal as loyal can be, although prone to some intense emotional fluctuations when dealing with perceived rejections and arguments. Although his Taurus sun balances this and leads him to optimistically bunker down, have faith, and work things out due to how strongly he values loyalty to the point of self destruction and having a strong concentration of fixed signs in his chart. But being a water venus there will still be the sniping poutier moments and we've seen how he either lets those emotions out with little censorship or he shuts down and internalises them. Sensitive, passionate, committed, cares deeply, needs physical and emotional intimacy (snuggler to the extreme and a bit clingy if allowed but that's a positive). Deserves to be the little spoon.

As for mars this is where I would confidently put aries- impulsive, must take action, spontaneous, easily irritated by indirectness from others (connecting this one back to holdo there). He is meant to take charge, and doesn't know any other way to go about things, direct (and is awful when trying to not be direct.) He has to take action and get's extremely frustrated when he can't. It meshes well with those Aquarius and Sag placements, a dreamer, freedom seeker, and someone who lives for the thrill of things while doing what's right. If you've made it this far having aries/scorpio in mars/venus speaks enough about the bedroom.

Jupiter, I could also put this one in cancer or aries, leaning towards aries. The further the charts goes from here the more generalised it is since one sign covers generations so I'll stop at this point, considering he'd share many of the later placements with Ben Solo, Karé Kun, etc.

But considering this type of astrology is canon in star wars I'm gonna have a field day with it.

[thecoddaughter]

4Halo song breakdown, "i just want to be your princess"

I am obsessed with Gilanares and could write so many song breakdown of characters to her songs (I already have other ones planned). I've been waiting months to use this song for something and it finally got released! Breakdown below the line!

I’m sensitive, I’m a jealous bitch

Forever and bad fighting / forever looking at bad in his duck/skeppy onesies

And I get so anxious that I start to itch

when Cell went missing and Forever took up leadership of the order

I’m batshit or dramatic but I’m not sure which

Just him being dramatic, idk bro

And I think I just felt the simulation glitch

TikTak, clocks are ticking!

I’m too high for this, but don't you snitch

The happy pills, talking to Pac

“Nothing like them other f------s I could make you rich”

Him in his president’s sash

Do I make you scared? Do I make you twitch?

Talking to bad during the ‘marriage proposal’

I just wanna be your princess

I just wanna be your princess

Holding bad’s hand, desperately

I wanna be hardcore

His reflection next to etoiles and cellbit

I wanna be far more

Than whatever I actually am

Sitting alone in his office

And I think that even if I got

Everything that I want

Vision of marrying Bad with Richas there

I’d still figure out a way to stay sad

Vision turns into him crying alone

I never said I was perfect, I’ve made mistakes

Political argument with bad

When I feel real nervous I get the shakes

Pointing a gun at phil, yelling about the clocks

And my mind moves fast and my stomach aches

And I bend my brain until it breaks

Downing more happy pills to make things ‘better’

Oh and even if it kills me

I’ll seek out whatever thrills me

Placing mines beneath him and bad

I just wanna be your princess

I just wanna be your princess

Holding phil’s hand, desperately

My heads in the clouds, my moon is in leo

Standing back to back with foolish, I feel like they can be seen as parallels of very different sides of the story, also this line connects nothing to forever so idk what else to do

And I tried to wage a war against my worries, kill my ego

But I couldn’t, and that’s okay

Forever in the cage, in the hospital bed

You like me better when I’m broken anyway

Waking up and finding bad again

This last part is special cuz I see it has a bad/forever argument

Forever: Don’t tell me you’re sorry

Bad: Don’t tell me you care

Forever: Don’t tell me you want me

Bad: You know that’s not fair

Forever: Don’t tell me I’m lovely. Don’t tell me you love me!

Bad: When you’re the one responsible for this mess

Forever: And all I ever wanted was to be your princess. All I ever wanted was to be your princess...

[enzersbookdiary]

Review of the Zodiac Academy: The Awakening.

You have been selected to attend Zodiac Academy, where your star sign defines your destiny.

If you're one of the Fae, elemental magic is in your blood. And apparently it's in ours. As twins born in the month of Gemini, we're a rare breed even in this academy of supernatural a-holes.

Changelings were outlawed hundreds of years ago but I guess our birth parents didn't get the memo. Which means we're totally unprepared for the ruthless world of Fae.

Air. Fire. Water. Earth.

No one has ever harnessed all four of them, until we arrived. And it hasn't made us any friends so far.

As the rarest Elementals ever known, we're already a threat to the four celestial heirs; the popular, vindictive bullies who happen to be some of the hottest guys we've ever seen. It doesn't help that they're the most dangerous beasts in the Academy. And probably on earth too.

Our fates are intertwined, but they want us gone. They've only got until the lunar eclipse to force us out and they'll stop at nothing to succeed.

We never knew we had a birthright to live up to but now that we do, we intend to claim our throne.

We can't expect any help from the faculty when it comes to defending ourselves. So if the dragon shifters want some target practice, the werewolves want someone to hunt or the vampires fancy a snack then we have to be ready. But we've been looking after each other for a long time and fighting back is in our blood.

Today's horoscope: totally screwed.

My rating 10 bouquets of flowers.

Now this book series has been in my leo review book for some time and i think i can pop open the notes about it.

The authors provided a proper map and made great detail of each location when it was brought up upon in the book.

The authors also made the romance somewhat believable to a limit with a forbidden romance and an age gap with a side of flings.

The only characters i hate thus far are Darius and Seth...i hope they sit on a cacti with no lube!

Join me next time when we dive into a little slice of hell.

[stridingwriter]

Leo + Julius

Featuring: 3375.

A small glimpse into how they celebrate the coming year even through loss and keeping traditions.

Leonardo enjoys February even if he's not one for the cold. Rather, he's not one for winter at all but beggars can't be choosers. This year, for the first time in years, Julius invites him over for dinner. It's a home cooked meal by yours truly that makes Leo wonder what they could have been.

(Cato would have liked this meal, he thinks instead.)

"So you finally learned your mother's fish recipe," he prompts instead as he pulls out the chair.

Julius snorts. "It was only a matter of time. And she misses you. I've been calling her and she keeps on asking what happened to you."

"I'm a doctor." It's not much of an answer, rather, it explains nothing but he still says it regardless.

"Surely you have some time to take off."

"That's what I'm doing now." Rather, he's doing it for Julius because it's been five years since they lost Cato, thus, five years since they've done this.

It's difficult to ignore the empty chair at the circular table. But Cato’s not here, rather, he won’t ever join them for a meal ever again. 

Then:

"The food's getting cold. Sit, we have time today."

-

Technically, Leo isn’t supposed to sneak in food to the Faculty. But in reality, he’s beyond giving two shits about what they want. They may call it a lab to see how things act but at the same time, he’s never seen any of their subjects treated like a person. 3375 included. 

It’s why he brings some leftovers for them. It’s the most he can do for them in these trying times. 

Blight doesn’t even question why he has a box with him. He supposes that she’s tired of whatever he says at this point. 

Then when he opens the door to 3375’s quarters, Leo watches as their eyes brighten up and how they leap to their feet. 

“It’s been a long time, doctor,” they state even though it’s only been a week. “I thought you forgot about me.” 

“We see each other every seven days.” 

That’s when they see the box in his hands, the leftovers from his meal with Julius. He hopes it makes them feel less lonely these days. No one should have to spend this time of the year alone. 

“Oh, you didn’t have to bring me anything,” 3375 then says with a wave of their hand. It’s at times like this that makes them seem like a young boy, one that’s far too ashamed to ask for anything. Really, it makes Leo smile, just a bit. 

“It’s certainly better than the food they serve here, I’ll tell you that.” He sets the box on the table, then the chopsticks on top of it before he pulls out the chair from the usual spot. “A friend made it and I wanted to bring some to you.” 

A beat. 

When 3375 looks at him, it’s one that’s skeptical as if they can’t believe he’s doing this because he wants to. “Why?” 

Leo shrugs. “It’s the Lunar New Year and I thought you could do with something nice.” 

3375 then laughs, one that makes the air around him crackle with electricity. It’s glee, sheer glee and giddiness that they can have this for themselves. “I’m honored, doctor.” 

“Call me Leo, 3375.”

[skylarmoon71]

Lex Luthor (Smallville) AU Chapter 12

~Three Months Later~

“Hey Leo, my mom said to drop these off.” You placed the boxes of pie on the counter at the Talon. 

“Thanks (Y/N.).” You were wearing a smile, and Leo raised a brow. 

“What?” You ask with a giggle. 

“Nothing, it’s just that there’s something different about you. There’s this glow about you.” 

Leo didn’t delve any further, he just passed you the money for the pies. 

“See you around Kent.” It was a playful jest. You just slipped the money in your pocket, watching as Leo walked away. 

“Smallville!!” 

You groaned at the male that just walked in. 

“What do you want Levi? I’m not helping you sneak into another building for a story.” 

“Come on, it could be fun. Don’t be a killjoy.” He persisted to ruffle your hair, in which you took a step back with an unamused look. 

“Fine, suit yourself. I guess I’ll just have to ask my dear old cousin Calvin.” 

“No complaints here.” He nudged your shoulder for good measure before he was off to terrorize some other poor soul. You just looked down at your watch. 

“Crap!” 

You’d promised Lex you’d help him with the layout for his new foundation. 

You weren’t sure what had happened in that little loop you were stuck in with Lex, but he was a bit different. It’s been almost three months and Smallville has returned to normal. Well, as normal as it could get you supposed. You were starting your freshman year of college. Calvin was pursuing his dreams at the Daily Planet, while commuting at college. Levi was still running a muck. 

Lex..he’d devoted his wealth to starting small non profit organizations. Helping people. His new perspective had given jobs to countless people who were affected by the closing of the plant. Of course Lionel wasn’t altogether thrilled with his son’s new vision, but he never outwardly stopped him. So maybe there was hope for Lionel yet. 

Nothing had changed drastically except maybe your feelings. 

Lately just being close to Lex would make your heart rate increase. There were times where you caught yourself stealing little glances. Or your gaze would linger a little longer than necessary. 

It was unusual. You’d known him for so long. He’d always been special to you. Yet, this felt different. Almost like there was a blank area that your brain couldn’t fill. 

“Just stop thinking about it.” 

The more you tried, the less it made sense, so you decided to just forget about it. The second you were outside in a more secluded area, you grin, taking off. 

The feel of wind brushing your face so quickly always brought that rush. The next time your feet stopped, you were standing in Lex’s mansion. 

A few of his papers flew by, and you sent an apologetic smile. 

“How many times have I told you that’s dangerous (Y/N). What if someone had seen you?” 

“Sorry, forced habit.” 

“Don’t make me tell Mr. Kent.” You gasped dramatically. 

“You wouldn’t tell my father. The betrayal!” 

You dropped onto the chair next to his desk, and he merely smiled. 

Lex went back to work, scribbling on documents, sorting stacks that you’d so graciously messed up. You slid the chair around the table to peek at his work.

“What are you working on?” 

“There’s a fundraiser in Metropolis in two weeks. All profits go to helping  patients affected by the meteor shower. “

 Lex was still invested in his work. You couldn’t help but spot the wallpaper on his computer. An older image of the both of you. 

Moments like this are what seem to make your heart swoon as of late. 

You bit your lip, watching him completely invested in his task. You felt lucky that no one else was this close to Lex. You’d seen some of the women he’d dated in the past. Safe to say you knew you were far from his usual type. You looked down at your clothes. 

Your taste hadn’t changed that much. You still wore an assortment of red and blue shirts, plaid  and jackets. It must have been the farmer in you. 

That was incurable. 

“What do you think?” 

Lex’s eyes were now directed at you, and you straightened in the chair, meeting those beautiful blue orbs. Lex couldn’t help but be distracted by the look you wore. He lectured himself not to rush it. Your memories of your time in that reality were gone. The last thing he wanted was to scare you away. He was patient. He figured that if this was meant to happen, then it should play out naturally. That’s why when he caught you staring at him a little longer than usual, he had to exercise control. 

However, he wasn’t sure how much he had left. 

He didn’t move, and neither did you. He debated on moving back, maybe giving you a chance to collect yourself. But when you started to lean in slowly, he told himself not to move a muscle. If anyone needed to make this decision, it was you. He wanted to be sure that this was something you wanted. Too many times he’d been selfish and rushed in. This time he would do it right. 

Your lips pressed to his so softly that he felt like he imagined it. Your eyes were tightly shut. Like you were afraid that if you opened them, this would all be gone. Lex’s shoulders relaxed, and the papers before him were the least of his problems. The minute he tried to reciprocate, you pulled away. 

Alarm was written all over your face as you stumbled out of the chair. Lex stood, quick to assure. 

“(Y/N) it’s okay I-” 

“I’m sorry!!” 

You bolted before he could say much more, his files once again a mess of paper on the floor from the wind. 

“Great.”

[culttvblog]

Battlecentre Documentary

Content warning: abuse.

You will have noticed that in amongst the weird fictional shows I blog about periodically I have to have a documentary post usually about crime, cults, or abusive religion or I just don't feel right, and obviously this need has arisen again. The weirdness of reality is far weirder than anything in The Avengers. This post is about the 2001 documentary Battlecentre by the Irish documentary maker Leo Regan, who also made wonderful documentaries about skinheads.

It's about the now defunct group known to most people as the Jesus Army (it had different names for different parts of the organisation but that is the name best known to outsiders because that was the name of its outreach to outsiders. I think the background is essential to this post and so just briefly: the group was founded in 1969 when the then lay pastor of a Baptist church was inspired by the charismatic movement (the idea that the gifts of the Holy Spirit of healing and so on in the New Testament are still available now) to greatly build on the existing congregation by attracting young people. As it developed the organisation became a separate denomination marked, in addition to its churches, by a sort of inner circle who lived in community houses, were celibate, owned nothing to the extent of dressing from a communal wardrobe, and by extensive outreach. At one time its distinctive colourful buses and vans were a familiar sight in British cities and the documentary says they had as many as 100 community houses. One of the distinctive things about the group was its particular work with homeless people, and for a long time it had a terrible reputation for its treatment of them by taking them in and making them work in a way that was suggested to be coercive.

Of course anyone familiar with the depressing repetitious tales of religious movements which have gone wrong can see what is coming here. The group was in trouble with both the Evangelical Alliance and the Baptist Union as long ago as the 1980s, amongst other things for its corporal punishment of children and its expectation that members would just give up all their possessions, in a culty sort of way. To the Jesus Fellowship's credit, after ongoing revelations of abuse which can only be described as prolific, the remaining members voted to wind down the organisation and set up a scheme to recompense those who were abused. There have been 1,000 targets of abuse recorded and I have seen news saying as many as 1 in 6 children were abused. There is of course also the familiar pattern where the leadership knew full well abuse was going on and didn't actually stop it.

This documentary is more structured than some of the others I have blogged about recently, all of which have used the technique of sitting someone in front of a camera and letting them talk. This one starts with Regan talking about being a lapsed Catholic and his own feelings about the Jesus Army, even repulsion towards the idea, so it's much more about him exploring what they do from his own perspective. He downplays his own opinions as it goes on, though, and the characters come across loud and clear. The reason I've been compelled to blog about it is that given the background I've described above, watching this from over 20 years ago is like watching a train crash happening, knowing that it is coming,

As a former mental health nurse the thing that hits me is that the men who ran the organisation had literally no idea what they were doing, and were inviting disaster. I totally appreciate that if you run a church you're not going to say that anyone shouldn't go because they have problems, and you might also operate a work accomodating people with problems, but when you are inviting homeless people literally straight off the streets into your own community house, they tend to bring the problems that have caused the chaos in their life with them. I've phrased an awareness of this reality as a professional thing, but you would think that a weekend in street ministry with the Jesus Army would be more than enough to make you somewhat cautious around people with multiple problems.

This is what makes this documentary different: so many documentaries about abusive groups are only after the abuse has come out, but this one is before and it's all laid out and obvious in hindsight.

For example we have Keith, a 17 year old they picked up off the street, where he had ended up after leaving his foster family and failing to find his birth family in London. Even without a psychological understanding of attachment, emotional dysregulation and how people relate to each other, I think this should really have made them wary of him, but the problem is that they let Keith stay with them for a bit and in no time at all, as far as he's concerned, the Jesus Army is his family and they can't get rid of him. The problem is that the Jesus Army don't think Keith is suited to be a member of the group (his stealing and compulsive lying really don't help, and honestly you have to wonder whether he's got a slight learning disability) so they essentially make him experience another rejection in his young life. There is a heart-rending scene where they make him homeless and do what they should have done to start off with, namely make him go to a homeless hostel. I have no hesitation in being completely judgemental here in putting th blame for this squarely on the Jesus Army, because you don't have to have a professional understanding to see that Keith is messed up and they should have had the wit to see what was coming. In fact they know that he has had involvement from psychiatrists and social services in the past so should have put boundaries in place. Unfortunately it is clear that there aren't boundaries in place, and we see a conversation with his 'shepherd' (another movement which has left a trail of traumatised people) where the relationship is framed as the shepherd 'fathering' Keith. It's honestly really disturbing.

Even more concerning is the case of Alec, an alcoholic who gives up drinking during the documentary. He's more concerning because he's actively hearing the voice of God talking to him while this is going on. He also hears a voice telling him to sacrifice himself in the name of Jesus. The Jesus Army (wrongly) heavily spiritualise this experience, make no effort to have it medically assessed. Luckily for him, Alec is older and more resourceful than Keith and independently leaves the house in his own rather chaotic way.

There is another absolutely heart-rending scene where the house leader is interviewed after all sorts of things go wrong, in which he says he can't take responsibility for everyone he invites into the house. Yes, you can. That's how it works, and it's really scary to see a so-called leader talking like that.

While Regan rightly says that he fells Battlehouse is putting Alec in danger, there is no mention of potential abuse beyond the dangerous incompetence of the way the army functions. However in addition to the overtly traumatic histories of so many people who end up there there are hints that all was not what it seemed in the Jesus Army. The climax of the documentary is about Billy, who ultimately dies from AIDS contracted from a male partner before he joined the Jesus Army. Again the psychological separation here is fascinating because he knew that his ex had died from AIDS but had never so much as wondered whether he might have HIV/AIDS himself.

My only criticism of this documentary is that while it is more 'curated' than some of the other documentaries I have blogged about recently, I think there are some perspectives missed. There is no mention that the group was already controversial for its approach to members' property, and it already had a bad reputation amongst homeless people for its approach to them. It may reflect my own interests and may have made it unwieldy, but I think a psychological view of what is happening at various points would have been useful. The documentary naturally showcases the group's spiritualised view of events, and rightly questions this view, but no alternative view is given.

This is an excellent, tightly directed, documentary showing a fringe religious movement which is now defunct, in its own right. What makes it even more distressing viewing in hindsight, is the reality of the Jesus Army that has been revealed since then, and the suggestions that all was not well anyway. This is a rare opportunity to see a fringe religious group (which has been described as a cult) combust before our eyes.

This blog is mirrored at

culttvblog.tumblr.com/archive (from September 2023) and culttvblog.substack.com (from January 2023 and where you can subscribe by email)

Archives from 2013 to September 2023 may be found at culttvblog.blogspot.com and there is an index to the tags used on the Tumblr version at https://www.tumblr.com/culttvblog/729194158177370112/this-blog

[maya-matlin]

I loved your UO question so am sending it right back to you! Name your five most unpopular opinions about Charmed, Degrassi, and One Tree Hill. I haven't seen Degrassi so I'll just nod along and smile as if I know what you're talking about :)

Charmed:

1.) I never understood the appeal of Phoebe and Cole. I can't explain why, but I was never invested in their relationship or felt much chemistry between them. They were fine and it was probably a necessary dynamic compared to Leo and Piper who were a lot "safer" and kind of the guaranteed endgame, but nothing about the two of them grabbed me. To me, Cole had the most chemistry with Prue and it's disappointing that it was never explored.

As far as unpopular opinions ago, that's about it? I've only seen Charmed once and am not at all familiar with what the fandom thinks.

Degrassi:

1.) I can't stand Eli Goldsworthy. While some of his story lines are legitimately good and I can enjoy him in some of his friendships, as a person he sucks and I think the writers' obsession with him did far more harm than good. I have zero tolerance for all the hell he put Clare through and don't think they're remotely on the same level just because she's sometimes a drama queen. Being dramatic and being an emotionally abusive asshole the second things don't go your way are very different things. Every single guy that Clare consensually kissed was better than him by a mile.

2.) People are way too critical of the Degrassi movies. The franchise has over 500 episodes plus lots of minis and other bonus content. It can't be all about the drama and life lessons all the time. Sometimes things happen for the fun of it and that's okay.

3.) Honestly, every single opinion I have about Tristan is super unpopular, but I'll say that Tristan lashing out at Maya after she told Snake about his affair with their teacher not only made sense but was extremely sympathetic. There are a lot of ways the show mishandled the aftermath of the story line. Obviously, Maya Matlin was done dirty by practically everyone at one time or another. But I can't be that upset that a victim of grooming had a negative reaction and struggled to accept at only sixteen years old that what he believed was his first experience with romantic love and a sexual relationship had been predatory all along. It will always bother me that the writers were clearly so meticulous in terms of showing us step by step the process of grooming only to give us a bullshit resolution. This character who preyed on Tristan is given a brief mention only for there to never be any closure. I feel like the consensus is basically that Maya was the character wronged the most in this arc because she was never validated or given a proper apology. I disagree. That sucks and there are plenty of ways Maya deserved more, but mostly I'm disappointed that Tristan never got the help he needed and had his trauma basically retconned so that Miles Hollingsworth could be the end all be all for him. But unfortunately, all Tristan discourse rarely goes further than talking about how unlikable he is or the unchecked biphobia the writers perpetuated and never took seriously.

4.) I was on Ashley's side during almost every conflict with Jimmy. More often than not, Jimmy either overstepped or behaved in a passive aggressive way so that he could avoid conflict. For instance, Jimmy tells Ashley in a backhanded way that he doesn't consider her physically attractive with her goth makeover and directly admits that he preferred the old her. Somehow, Ashley was the villain for not feeling accepted when Jimmy "did nothing wrong". Then later, Ashley makes it clear she wants to pursue her music on her own and shows no signs of needing Jimmy to stick up for her or join her musical act. But because he feels the need to be a savior, Jimmy joins in and basically takes over - the exact thing Ashley didn't want to happen. While Ashley deleting his track was shady, I can't say I blame her. She also went on to give Jimmy the track to do with it what he wanted. In return, Jimmy emotionally cheated on her with another girl and passively allowed Ashley to find out about it much like he did with Ellie and Hazel. IDK. There's a consistent problem with female characters on the show getting raked over the coals for any slight, perceived or otherwise, against their boyfriends while the guys are frequently excused for behavior that would make the girls be deemed "toxic".

5.) I was more on Clare's side than Alli's in Nowhere to Run. Yes, Clare was self involved and possibly a bit hypocritical to forgive Jake and not Alli, but it always came across to me like Alli reacted in a very passive aggressive way to Clare's earlier dismissal. While I believe the kiss with Jake was unplanned, Alli had to have known Clare wasn't going to take it well? I don't think Alli would have reacted super rationally had the roles been reversed. Overall, it's just weird that Clare is expected not to have negative feelings about her best friend kissing the ex-boyfriend she still wanted to be with. It's entirely because the fans hated Cake because there's just no way in hell that gets the same reception if it's Alli kissing Eli. I don't know. I never understood how it devolved into a situation where Clare was on the outskirts of the friend group when most of the characters in it (Alli, Jenna, KC) had screwed Clare over at one time or another.

One Tree Hill:

1.) There are certain sketchy things Nathan does that are virtually never brought up compared to Haley almost constantly being raked over the coals for season 2. This is particularly bad on Reddit where there seem to be weekly threads about how much of a selfish bitch she was for kissing Chris and then leaving to pursue her dreams. It's exhausting. Like, Nathan showed up at the bar Haley's sister was working at and attempted to have sex with her during their separation. I'm pretty sure that plot point has been brought up maybe a handful of times in almost twenty years since that episode aired. Haley never even finds out about it. Or the time he spends the entire night flirting with Peyton seemingly because he's not used to being a good guy and is petrified because he's starting to realize he's in love with Haley. Nathan occasionally lacks any boundaries when it comes to other women and yet never has to face many if any repercussions for it in the fandom or on the show itself because he never *technically* cheats.

2.) Overall, the legacy of Keith and the impact he left on characters like Lucas and Karen is much more significant than his role on the show ever was during the time he was alive. During his long absence during seasons 2 and 3, it was obvious to me how much the character lifted right out compared to more crucial, richer characters such as Deb. It's sad, but I really feel like his character fell off after season 1. It doesn't help that a good chunk of what he did was just pine for Karen and act entitled to her affections.

3.) I'm going to hell for this, but Haley and Dan have a lot of chemistry during season 9. I'd never call it a ship or root for it to happen for numerous reasons, but I picked up on a vibe and it was sometimes distracting to watch their scenes. Apparently, Joy and Paul kissed in real life at least once, so that would explain it.

4.) Everything prior to the state championship episode in season 4 is mostly terrible and just in general full of Brooke bashing to manipulate the audience into rooting for Peyton to be with Lucas. There are exceptions and good moments, but in all honestly across all nine seasons this is probably my least favorite run of episodes just because everything feels so off putting. At least during some of the later seasons, what you see is what you get. But season 4 overall has the reputation of being one of the show's strongest seasons. And it is, from 409 on. But there's a lot wrong with it that's rarely discussed.

5.) I hate Brooke's miracle pregnancy. Even though I was happy to see Brooke finally become a mom and realize a dream she'd had for the entirety of the adult seasons, the fact Brooke achieved this by carrying her sons to term rather than adopting leaves a bad taste in my mouth. After seeing Brooke care for Angie, take in Sam as her foster daughter to the point she had adoption papers drawn up and then come very close to adopting a third time, it felt like borderline anti adoption propaganda. Basically, all of these "fake" children Brooke cared for or almost raised never became a permanent part of her life so that eventually, Brooke could became a mom in the conventional, biological way. Aka, the right way. I'm not even sure if this an unpopular opinion, but I pretty much never see it discussed.