#but not so inflated and outrageous as it is

[theworldthrukaleidoscope-eyes]

To fast food workers: "It's only meant for young people in college! Not to support a family!"

To retail workers: "The job isn't that hard. Why do they need to be paid so much?"

To CEOs: "They had to work hard to get where they are!" - Let's talk about this. A CEO of a small business (I'm using an example of someone I know personally, just so you know I'm not inflating or spewing secondhand facts) makes 350k/year. Minimum wage makes 15k/year. Do you honestly think any people/persons are capable of working over 20x harder than anyone else?? Retail workers have customers screaming at them for 8+ hours a day; fast food workers must prepare your food in a boiling hot kitchen (with customers screaming at them!) for 8+ hours a day. I could go on about waitresses, firemen, childcare, teachers! (oh but those jobs should be fulfilling enough without the paycheck...right?? Tell that to the CEO) My CEO friend doesn't work every day. She works MAYBE 15 hours a week, and complains about the days she has to drive to work to handle things in person. She absolutely does not work harder than minimum wage workers. Don't get me wrong--she used to. Before she made 350k a year. Before she made even 200k a year. Did she work hard to 'earn' a position where she makes so much and doesn't work? No. That's what we call 'retiring'. What she is doing is earning money she don't need off the labor of others. Because that's the kicker--she doesn't need this much money. She owns three houses. She travels at least 3 times a year overseas or on yachts/cruises. She buys expensive furniture (I'm talking 2 thousand dollar lamps, 400 dollar chairs) on a WHIM. She eats out for nearly every meal. She does not need this much money. People in poverty don't want to have a free ride. They don't want rich people to pay their way. They want this kind of financial imbalance to stop. Because when your friend who just spent more than you make in a year on her monthly travel expenses, and then complains that her taxes are just too high, and she has to pay way too much for health insurance, to someone who literally cannot afford health insurance (and some days, actual food)...it starts to get ridiculous.

This is a real person I know in real life. Not a billionaire. Not a famous actor, artist, or anyone you would have heard of. This is income inequality right on your doorstep.

[applesandbannas747]

Students will take my classroom economy and build a mafia, successfully control at least half of the class’s fake money with predatory loans and interest rates, then expect ME to deal with it when someone steals from them

Like little homies I am so sorry to tell you this because I am so sorry it’s true but I am the government in this situation. The Man, if you will. You make a mafia, you deal with running it

Anyway, they decided to threaten thieves with breaking their knee caps and I’m helping them build a spreadsheet to keep track of their finances

They have not, however, relocated the jankass box made out of roughly hacked apart pieces of cardboard glued together that’s always sitting in the middle of the class library and bursting with their dirty fake money nor seem to have any intention to make ‘the mafia’ more secure

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Bossware is unfair (in the legal sense, too)

You can get into a lot of trouble by assuming that rich people know what they're doing. For example, might assume that ad-tech works – bypassing peoples' critical faculties, reaching inside their minds and brainwashing them with Big Data insights, because if that's not what's happening, then why would rich people pour billions into those ads?

https://pluralistic.net/2020/12/06/surveillance-tulip-bulbs/#adtech-bubble

You might assume that private equity looters make their investors rich, because otherwise, why would rich people hand over trillions for them to play with?

https://thenextrecession.wordpress.com/2024/11/19/private-equity-vampire-capital/

The truth is, rich people are suckers like the rest of us. If anything, succeeding once or twice makes you an even bigger mark, with a sense of your own infallibility that inflates to fill the bubble your yes-men seal you inside of.

Rich people fall for scams just like you and me. Anyone can be a mark. I was:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/05/cyber-dunning-kruger/#swiss-cheese-security

But though rich people can fall for scams the same way you and I do, the way those scams play out is very different when the marks are wealthy. As Keynes had it, "The market can remain irrational longer than you can remain solvent." When the marks are rich (or worse, super-rich), they can be played for much longer before they go bust, creating the appearance of solidity.

Noted Keynesian John Kenneth Galbraith had his own thoughts on this. Galbraith coined the term "bezzle" to describe "the magic interval when a confidence trickster knows he has the money he has appropriated but the victim does not yet understand that he has lost it." In that magic interval, everyone feels better off: the mark thinks he's up, and the con artist knows he's up.

Rich marks have looong bezzles. Empirically incorrect ideas grounded in the most outrageous superstition and junk science can take over whole sections of your life, simply because a rich person – or rich people – are convinced that they're good for you.

Take "scientific management." In the early 20th century, the con artist Frederick Taylor convinced rich industrialists that he could increase their workers' productivity through a kind of caliper-and-stopwatch driven choreographry:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/08/21/great-taylors-ghost/#solidarity-or-bust

Taylor and his army of labcoated sadists perched at the elbows of factory workers (whom Taylor referred to as "stupid," "mentally sluggish," and as "an ox") and scripted their motions to a fare-the-well, transforming their work into a kind of kabuki of obedience. They weren't more efficient, but they looked smart, like obedient robots, and this made their bosses happy. The bosses shelled out fortunes for Taylor's services, even though the workers who followed his prescriptions were less efficient and generated fewer profits. Bosses were so dazzled by the spectacle of a factory floor of crisply moving people interfacing with crisply working machines that they failed to understand that they were losing money on the whole business.

To the extent they noticed that their revenues were declining after implementing Taylorism, they assumed that this was because they needed more scientific management. Taylor had a sweet con: the worse his advice performed, the more reasons their were to pay him for more advice.

Taylorism is a perfect con to run on the wealthy and powerful. It feeds into their prejudice and mistrust of their workers, and into their misplaced confidence in their own ability to understand their workers' jobs better than their workers do. There's always a long dollar to be made playing the "scientific management" con.

Today, there's an app for that. "Bossware" is a class of technology that monitors and disciplines workers, and it was supercharged by the pandemic and the rise of work-from-home. Combine bossware with work-from-home and your boss gets to control your life even when in your own place – "work from home" becomes "live at work":

https://pluralistic.net/2021/02/24/gwb-rumsfeld-monsters/#bossware

Gig workers are at the white-hot center of bossware. Gig work promises "be your own boss," but bossware puts a Taylorist caliper wielder into your phone, monitoring and disciplining you as you drive your wn car around delivering parcels or picking up passengers.

In automation terms, a worker hitched to an app this way is a "reverse centaur." Automation theorists call a human augmented by a machine a "centaur" – a human head supported by a machine's tireless and strong body. A "reverse centaur" is a machine augmented by a human – like the Amazon delivery driver whose app goads them to make inhuman delivery quotas while punishing them for looking in the "wrong" direction or even singing along with the radio:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/08/02/despotism-on-demand/#virtual-whips

Bossware pre-dates the current AI bubble, but AI mania has supercharged it. AI pumpers insist that AI can do things it positively cannot do – rolling out an "autonomous robot" that turns out to be a guy in a robot suit, say – and rich people are groomed to buy the services of "AI-powered" bossware:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/29/pay-no-attention/#to-the-little-man-behind-the-curtain

For an AI scammer like Elon Musk or Sam Altman, the fact that an AI can't do your job is irrelevant. From a business perspective, the only thing that matters is whether a salesperson can convince your boss that an AI can do your job – whether or not that's true:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/07/25/accountability-sinks/#work-harder-not-smarter

The fact that AI can't do your job, but that your boss can be convinced to fire you and replace you with the AI that can't do your job, is the central fact of the 21st century labor market. AI has created a world of "algorithmic management" where humans are demoted to reverse centaurs, monitored and bossed about by an app.

The techbro's overwhelming conceit is that nothing is a crime, so long as you do it with an app. Just as fintech is designed to be a bank that's exempt from banking regulations, the gig economy is meant to be a workplace that's exempt from labor law. But this wheeze is transparent, and easily pierced by enforcers, so long as those enforcers want to do their jobs. One such enforcer is Alvaro Bedoya, an FTC commissioner with a keen interest in antitrust's relationship to labor protection.

Bedoya understands that antitrust has a checkered history when it comes to labor. As he's written, the history of antitrust is a series of incidents in which Congress revised the law to make it clear that forming a union was not the same thing as forming a cartel, only to be ignored by boss-friendly judges:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/14/aiming-at-dollars/#not-men

Bedoya is no mere historian. He's an FTC Commissioner, one of the most powerful regulators in the world, and he's profoundly interested in using that power to help workers, especially gig workers, whose misery starts with systemic, wide-scale misclassification as contractors:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/02/upward-redistribution/

In a new speech to NYU's Wagner School of Public Service, Bedoya argues that the FTC's existing authority allows it to crack down on algorithmic management – that is, algorithmic management is illegal, even if you break the law with an app:

https://www.ftc.gov/system/files/ftc_gov/pdf/bedoya-remarks-unfairness-in-workplace-surveillance-and-automated-management.pdf

Bedoya starts with a delightful analogy to The Hawtch-Hawtch, a mythical town from a Dr Seuss poem. The Hawtch-Hawtch economy is based on beekeeping, and the Hawtchers develop an overwhelming obsession with their bee's laziness, and determine to wring more work (and more honey) out of him. So they appoint a "bee-watcher." But the bee doesn't produce any more honey, which leads the Hawtchers to suspect their bee-watcher might be sleeping on the job, so they hire a bee-watcher-watcher. When that doesn't work, they hire a bee-watcher-watcher-watcher, and so on and on.

For gig workers, it's bee-watchers all the way down. Call center workers are subjected to "AI" video monitoring, and "AI" voice monitoring that purports to measure their empathy. Another AI times their calls. Two more AIs analyze the "sentiment" of the calls and the success of workers in meeting arbitrary metrics. On average, a call-center worker is subjected to five forms of bossware, which stand at their shoulders, marking them down and brooking no debate.

For example, when an experienced call center operator fielded a call from a customer with a flooded house who wanted to know why no one from her boss's repair plan system had come out to address the flooding, the operator was punished by the AI for failing to try to sell the customer a repair plan. There was no way for the operator to protest that the customer had a repair plan already, and had called to complain about it.

Workers report being sickened by this kind of surveillance, literally – stressed to the point of nausea and insomnia. Ironically, one of the most pervasive sources of automation-driven sickness are the "AI wellness" apps that bosses are sold by AI hucksters:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/15/wellness-taylorism/#sick-of-spying

The FTC has broad authority to block "unfair trade practices," and Bedoya builds the case that this is an unfair trade practice. Proving an unfair trade practice is a three-part test: a practice is unfair if it causes "substantial injury," can't be "reasonably avoided," and isn't outweighed by a "countervailing benefit." In his speech, Bedoya makes the case that algorithmic management satisfies all three steps and is thus illegal.

On the question of "substantial injury," Bedoya describes the workday of warehouse workers working for ecommerce sites. He describes one worker who is monitored by an AI that requires him to pick and drop an object off a moving belt every 10 seconds, for ten hours per day. The worker's performance is tracked by a leaderboard, and supervisors punish and scold workers who don't make quota, and the algorithm auto-fires if you fail to meet it.

Under those conditions, it was only a matter of time until the worker experienced injuries to two of his discs and was permanently disabled, with the company being found 100% responsible for this injury. OSHA found a "direct connection" between the algorithm and the injury. No wonder warehouses sport vending machines that sell painkillers rather than sodas. It's clear that algorithmic management leads to "substantial injury."

What about "reasonably avoidable?" Can workers avoid the harms of algorithmic management? Bedoya describes the experience of NYC rideshare drivers who attended a round-table with him. The drivers describe logging tens of thousands of successful rides for the apps they work for, on promise of "being their own boss." But then the apps start randomly suspending them, telling them they aren't eligible to book a ride for hours at a time, sending them across town to serve an underserved area and still suspending them. Drivers who stop for coffee or a pee are locked out of the apps for hours as punishment, and so drive 12-hour shifts without a single break, in hopes of pleasing the inscrutable, high-handed app.

All this, as drivers' pay is falling and their credit card debts are mounting. No one will explain to drivers how their pay is determined, though the legal scholar Veena Dubal's work on "algorithmic wage discrimination" reveals that rideshare apps temporarily increase the pay of drivers who refuse rides, only to lower it again once they're back behind the wheel:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/12/algorithmic-wage-discrimination/#fishers-of-men

This is like the pit boss who gives a losing gambler some freebies to lure them back to the table, over and over, until they're broke. No wonder they call this a "casino mechanic." There's only two major rideshare apps, and they both use the same high-handed tactics. For Bedoya, this satisfies the second test for an "unfair practice" – it can't be reasonably avoided. If you drive rideshare, you're trapped by the harmful conduct.

The final prong of the "unfair practice" test is whether the conduct has "countervailing value" that makes up for this harm.

To address this, Bedoya goes back to the call center, where operators' performance is assessed by "Speech Emotion Recognition" algorithms, a psuedoscientific hoax that purports to be able to determine your emotions from your voice. These SERs don't work – for example, they might interpret a customer's laughter as anger. But they fail differently for different kinds of workers: workers with accents – from the American south, or the Philippines – attract more disapprobation from the AI. Half of all call center workers are monitored by SERs, and a quarter of workers have SERs scoring them "constantly."

Bossware AIs also produce transcripts of these workers' calls, but workers with accents find them "riddled with errors." These are consequential errors, since their bosses assess their performance based on the transcripts, and yet another AI produces automated work scores based on them.

In other words, algorithmic management is a procession of bee-watchers, bee-watcher-watchers, and bee-watcher-watcher-watchers, stretching to infinity. It's junk science. It's not producing better call center workers. It's producing arbitrary punishments, often against the best workers in the call center.

There is no "countervailing benefit" to offset the unavoidable substantial injury of life under algorithmic management. In other words, algorithmic management fails all three prongs of the "unfair practice" test, and it's illegal.

What should we do about it? Bedoya builds the case for the FTC acting on workers' behalf under its "unfair practice" authority, but he also points out that the lack of worker privacy is at the root of this hellscape of algorithmic management.

He's right. The last major update Congress made to US privacy law was in 1988, when they banned video-store clerks from telling the newspapers which VHS cassettes you rented. The US is long overdue for a new privacy regime, and workers under algorithmic management are part of a broad coalition that's closer than ever to making that happen:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/12/06/privacy-first/#but-not-just-privacy

Workers should have the right to know which of their data is being collected, who it's being shared by, and how it's being used. We all should have that right. That's what the actors' strike was partly motivated by: actors who were being ordered to wear mocap suits to produce data that could be used to produce a digital double of them, "training their replacement," but the replacement was a deepfake.

With a Trump administration on the horizon, the future of the FTC is in doubt. But the coalition for a new privacy law includes many of Trumpland's most powerful blocs – like Jan 6 rioters whose location was swept up by Google and handed over to the FBI. A strong privacy law would protect their Fourth Amendment rights – but also the rights of BLM protesters who experienced this far more often, and with far worse consequences, than the insurrectionists.

The "we do it with an app, so it's not illegal" ruse is wearing thinner by the day. When you have a boss for an app, your real boss gets an accountability sink, a convenient scapegoat that can be blamed for your misery.

The fact that this makes you worse at your job, that it loses your boss money, is no guarantee that you will be spared. Rich people make great marks, and they can remain irrational longer than you can remain solvent. Markets won't solve this one – but worker power can.

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[batshit-auspol]

have we talked about the woolworths debacle yet?

Sigh.

Alright kids strap in, because the culture wars are back and stupider than ever.

So there are two characters you need to be familiar with in this story before we continue:

Woolies (i.e. Woolworths) - One of two supermarket chains in Australia. Not related to the giant Woolworths chain that used to exist overseas, other than the Aussie one swiped the name because the original forgot to trademark the name 'Woolworths' here. Biggest company in Aus, and also the biggest employer. Not a brand anyone with more than two braincells would pick a fight with.

Peter Dutton - Man with less than two braincells, and current leader of the political opposition in Australia. Best known for bearing a passing resemblance to a potato and once demanding that a homophobic song get played for balance when a football halftime show performed 'Same Love'. His reputation is so bad that if you told an Australian that Dutton's favorite pastime was drowning puppies, they probably would believe you.

And to prove our point, here's the best headline a friendly newspaper could come up with to try spin his image:

The third thing you need to know is that in Australia we have a national holiday called "Australia Day" which is basically a scheduled day for everyone to get into a giant argument.

This is because for the last 30ish years it has been held on the anniversary of the British claiming the land around Sydney as a colony which was:

a) More the founding of an English prison then the founding of Australia, and more importantly

b) from the perspective of the people who were already living here, kindof a very shit day

Now not everyone agrees on this, and even those that don't 'celebrate' will often still have a get together with friends, but it can't be denied that we've shifted a long way from the days when the country used to celebrate Australia Day by kitting ourselves out in Aussie flag budgie smugglers, drinking enough beer to drown Harold Holt, and partying like it's 1789.

(Now a brief break for a real photo of Peter Dutton at a press conference)

Good luck sleeping tonight. Anyway back to the story.

As a result of this shift away from the trend of showing your patriotism by wearing Australian flag underpants, this year Woolworths decided that they were no longer going to be rolling out their box of southern cross thongs - on the grounds that "this kitschy shit never sells" and they are far too busy with more important things like blaming price gouging on inflation and installing self-checkout machines that think your canvas bag is a crime against humanity.

Never a man to miss an opportunity to act like a massive twat, upon hearing that Woolies had dumped their flag merch, Peter Dutton rushed onto the airwaves to declare that Woolworths had "gone woke" (paging 4chan circa 2009) and called for the country to boycott the store, a story which Australia's media have gleefully put on loudhale for over a week now in order to drive outrage clicks.

We at this point remind you that Woolworths is a company which, as we previously mentioned, basically has a monopoly on selling food in this country. Not exactly something you can boycott.

(Another real Dutton photo break)

Needless to say Dutton's dumbass plan did not immediately put Woolies out of business, however the relentless media campaign by Rupert Murdoch's minions did result in a bunch of innocent low-wage floor staff being harrassed by The Dark Lord's fanboys and a few Woolies stores were graffitied.

Allegedly being the 'free market' guy, Dutton also kindof snookered himself by demanding the free market not decide the fate of Australia day, but logic was never one of his strong suits.

Anyway, in the end we're just going to keep having this dumb circular argument every year, fulled by a media who love fanning the flames, until a politician has the guts to shift the date to May 8 (pronounced m8), and everyone promptly forgets this was ever a thing.

All in all, that's the long and the short of it. As a final touch we'll leave you with this real tweet by Opposition Leader Peter Dutton, in all its batshit glory.

We look forward to the absolute dumpster fire of comments this post is going to generate - as is the Australia Day tradition.

[tanadrin]

could you elaborate, why do you believe that people online continue to talk about the flint water crisis as if it were still active? Is it just ignorance of the solution or are there ongoing health issues?

i mean i think people do that bc "everything is fucked and nothing ever gets better" is a genre of post that tickles the limbic system, and in the attention economy of the internet, anything that tickles the limbic system tends to do well, bc it produces engagement. outrage, and outrage-adjacent things, and cliches like "why is no one talking about [major news article everyone is talking about]" and "don't get excited about apparently-good-thing X, here's why it's actually just as bad as [completely different thing it is in no way just as bad as]" and all that other stuff.

and because negativity and outrage--even negativity with no underlying substance--makes a bigger splash than positive stuff with real underlying substance, continuing to repeat "flint doesn't have clean water" (a crisis that did genuinely drag on for a very long time!) has more salience than the news that flint's water problem was fixed (something that took a long time when it finally was properly tackled and didn't generate a single large headline).

there's kind of a similar dynamic in climate news actually, where genuine improvements in areas like energy storage and clean energy rollout and new nuclear permitting don't make a dent in people's narrative that everything is fucked and we're making no progress because IPCC forecasts about what would happen if we hit 4 degrees of warming are genuinely very bad and scary (and, thankfully, no longer on the table!), whereas the boring policy details of stuff in the Inflation Reduction Act, or China's continuing expansion of EV manufacturing are, well... boring. although climate news is different in other ways--like, the planet will continue to warm until carbon emissions are net negative, so even as we make progress on that issue the crisis continues. it's not all good news. but there is good news there, which just gets much less traction online bc of the dynamics of how news works on the internet.

needless to say, though, i think if you want to have an accurate understanding of the world you need to internally mentally check your own tendency to succumb to engagement bait like this. worst case scenario you fall into a doom loop, which i think is pretty unhealthy just in general. but if you notice somebody post something compelling, and you click on their username, and it turns out that all they post is about how the world is fucked, and nothing good ever happens, and we're all gonna die, i think you should be suspicious of them and their motives. not because doomposting is inherently manipulative or deceptive--a lot of people genuinely are doomers! but that doesn't mean they're not responding to the limbic incentives of social media, either. after all, if you too express nothing but pessimism and outrage, then the people addicted to pessimism and outrage will applaud you for being Very Serious and give you lots of engagement and attention, and you will react accordingly.

and also, you know. some people do just lie on the internet for attention. that is absolutely a thing that happens. i am not inclined to bend over backwards to try to reconstruct a generous framing of those lies where maybe people somehow are under the mistaken impression that there is some ongoing sub-problem affecting flint that they have mistaken for being isomorphic to the original crisis. some of them are just liars!

[h8aaz]

❝ 𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 .ᐟ ❞

SUMMARY .ᐟ . . . you and hughie are left to watch over soldier boy in the motel. while the three of you are watching tv, an old ad from when you worked at vought comes on and the song you sing in it is immediately recognized.

WARNINGS .ᐟ . . . slightly angry ben . ex-supe + fem!reader . powers + name are never given . swearing bc DUH . hughie lowkey kinda fangirling . kinda a song fic but also not really ? also a soldier boy x reader fic but not really ?

GABS YAPS .ᐟ . . . based on the soldier boy performance of rapture by blondie. thought of this while listening to the song bc i have sb brainrot. likes, comments, + reblogs are very appreciated!!

you sat on one of the beds in the motel room while soldier boy sat on the other and hughie on the couch. the tv across the room began to play a commercial, your commercial. and soldier boy recognized the beginning of the background tune.

his eyes widened when you appeared on the screen, advertising some beauty products vought had forcefully plastered your face and supe name onto. he slowly turned his head to you, brows furrowed and nostrils flared. "you did rapture?"

you heard the slight annoyance and anger in his voice, making your eyes pop open as you did the same slow turn to him. "uh...y-yeah?" your voice broke into a higher octave at the end.

he scoffed and shook his head turning back to the tv. you shared a look with hughie across the room, both of you shrugging and wincing at the angry huff ben let out. "they'll give the rights of that shitty song to anyone, huh?" he sneered at the screen.

"it's not shitty. it's actually pretty good." you defended the song, hughie nodding in agreement with a small 'yeah'. ben gave you the dirtiest look known to man. "you're fucking kidding, right? rapture. by BLONDIE. is 'pretty good'? what the fuck does that even mean? if it means it's complete ass and you're being nice, then yeah, i guess i agree with you."

"it's not ass!" you exclaimed, sitting up straighter to face him. "the song did well for a reason. plus, you kinda boosted it's streams or...whatever you called it back then when you performed it." hughie joined in while pointing at ben, who rolled his eyes.

"of course i fucking did, because i did it better than them." ben said before taking a sip of his drink. "oh, you did NOT do it better than them!" you practically laughed. "yeah, dude. maybe it was good then, but you've been shown up." hughie then pointed to you, "and she actually got blondie in the commercial next to her."

you nodded, "yup! yes, THANK YOU, HUGHIE!" you gestured to the slightly younger man. "did you actually sing or whatever in it?" ben asked. "indeed i did. and people loved it, loved me. but of course there were these old ass bitches who probably got fucked by you once saying yours from 'back in the day' was better." you grumbled the last part.

"but the ratings and amount of products people bought settled that debate." hughie added before ben could try and spin your words to inflate his own ego. "although i think everyone agreed that a skincare and makeup line didn't call for all of this, let alone a cover." he gestured to the tv, where the whole collection was being shown with outrageous graphics that reminded you of how much you wanted to throw up when seeing it for the first time; not like that feeling hasn't changed from then to now.

"yeah, this looks fuckin' terrible." ben commented. "did that shit even work?" he asked while gesturing to his face with a look of pure disgust. you shrugged in response, "i actually don't know, but it's all made by vought, so i'm sure some number of people died or got poisoned from it." you sighed, "not my problem now, though."

the part ben and hughie, especially hughie, anticipated but you dreaded came on. you and deborah harry walked down aisles filled with your products with background dancers holding them while you began to say the lyrics.

fab five freddy told me everybody's fly

DJ spinnin' i said, "my my"

"oh my god, yes!" hughie cheered while you exclaimed a pained "dear god, no!" at the same time. you stared at him in bewilderment, "you actually liked this?! are you serious, hughie?" you shouted in shock while he laughed.

"it was so unnecessary but honestly, really good? you could ask my dad, i rewatched this countless times when i was younger." he grinned at the television, watching you dance as you 'sang'.

flash is fast, flash is cool

françois c'est pas, flash ain't no dude

ben nodded, squinting his eyes as he listened to your voice and silently, yet somewhat proudly, examined your body as you danced before looking over everyone else in the ad. "it's pretty good. and not like, 'this is so ass' good, but like actually, uh, really good." he complimented, which took you by surprise. "thanks." you mumbled quietly, still embarrassed as you watched your younger self do the moves that took way too long to rehearse because you simply didn't know what the fuck you were doing.

and you don't stop, sure shot

go out to the parking lot

and you get in your car and drive real far

your cover of the song continued to play while the products and their prices were shown one final time along with the stores they were available at. you cringed into the bed with a long and loud groan of great regret, all while hughie continued to speak the lyrics of the song and ben fully bellowed a laugh at the situation.

when the commercial ended and the screen began to run a different one, the two men began to sing the lyrics at you, which pissed you off to no end. "oh my god- I HATE BOTH OF YOU! SHUT UP!" you yelled while they continued, even when you sat up and threw pillows at them.

tags: @soldiersgirl @j2archives @sunsbaby @bejeweledinterludes @dulcescorderitas @legalmente-loca @starzify @bluemerakis @deansbeer @immodestly-marina @k-slla

[misfitwashere]

ROBERT REICH

FEB 14

Friends,

I want to talk today about the media’s coverage of the Trump-Vance-Musk coup. 

I’m not referring to coverage by the bonkers right-wing media of Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News and its imitators. 

I’m referring to the U.S. mainstream media — The New York Times, The Washington Post, the Los Angeles Times, The Atlantic, The New Yorker, National Public Radio — and the mainstream media abroad, such as the BBC and The Guardian. 

By not calling it a coup, the mainstream media is failing to communicate the gravity of what is occurring. 

Yesterday’s opinion by The New York Times’ editorial board offers a pathetic example. It concedes that Trump and his top associates “are stress-testing the Constitution, and the nation, to a degree not seen since the Civil War” but then asks: “Are we in a constitutional crisis yet?” and answers that what Trump is doing “should be taken as a flashing warning sign.”

Warning sign? 

Elon Musk’s meddling into the machinery of government is a part of the coup. Musk and his muskrats have no legal right to break into the federal payments system or any of the other sensitive data systems they’re invading, for which they continue to gather computer code. 

This data is the lifeblood of our government. It is used to pay Social Security and Medicare. It measures inflation and jobs. Americans have entrusted our private information to professional civil servants who are bound by law to use it only for the purposes to which it is intended. In the wrong hands, without legal authority, it could be used to control or mislead Americans. 

By failing to use the term “coup,” the media have also underplayed the Trump-Vance-Musk regime’s freeze on practically all federal funding — suggesting this is a normal part of the pull-and-tug of politics. It is not. Congress has the sole authority to appropriate money. The freeze is illegal and unconstitutional. 

By not calling it a coup, the media have also permitted Americans to view the regime’s refusal to follow the orders of the federal courts as a political response, albeit an extreme one, to judicial rulings that are at odds with what a president wants.

There is nothing about the regime’s refusal to be bound by the courts that places it within the boundaries of acceptable politics. Our system of government gives the federal judiciary final say about whether actions of the executive are legal and constitutional. Refusal to be bound by federal court rulings shows how rogue this regime truly is. 

Earlier this week, a federal judge excoriated the regime for failing to comply with “the plain text” of an edict the judge issued last month to release billions of dollars in federal grants. Vice President JD Vance, presumably in response, declared that “judges aren’t allowed to control the executive’s legitimate power.”

Vance graduated from the same law school I did. He knows he’s speaking out of his derriere. 

In sum, the regime’s disregard for laws and constitutional provisions surrounding access to private data, impoundment of funds appropriated by Congress, and refusal to be bound by judicial orders amount to a takeover of our democracy by a handful of men who have no legal authority to do so. 

If this is not a coup d’etat, I don’t know what is. 

The mainstream media must call this what it is. In doing so, they would not be “taking sides” in a political dispute. They would be accurately describing the dire emergency America now faces. 

Unless Americans see it and understand the whole of it for what it is rather than piecemeal stories that “flood the zone,” Americans cannot possibly respond to the whole of it. The regime is undertaking so many outrageous initiatives that the big picture cannot be seen without it being described clearly and simply. 

Unless Americans understand that this is indeed a coup that’s wildly illegal and fundamentally unconstitutional — not just because that happens to be the opinion of constitutional scholars or professors of law, or the views of Trump’s political opponents, but because it is objectively and in reality a coup — Americans cannot rise up as the clear majority we are, and demand that democracy be restored. 

[amywritesthings]

hiii! for the hallosleepover, can I get jean x reader + enemies to lovers who unintentionally wear a couple’s costume to a Halloween party? 🥺

hallo-sleepover '24!

hello, anon! thank you for sending this in. i've never written jean as a main character before, so let's see how this goes, yeah?

saving horses, matching costumes.

pairing: jean kirstein x f!reader word count: 1.1k+ warnings: halloween party mishaps, miscommunication, enemies to kinda lovers, fluffy, banter, jean is a cowboy bc of the s4 mullet i dont make the rules credit: dividers by @saradika-graphics

read on ao3.

“Oh, you have to be joking.”

The complaint comes out of your mouth faster than you can stop it.

As much as you hate that your eyes lock onto Jean Kirstein every time he walks into a room (a sixth sense, if you will, after putting up with him throughout college and beyond) you’re glad it’s you who spotted him first.

You’d never hear the end of it if it’d been Sasha, who’s busy shoveling yet another candy apple in her mouth like she’s discovered the wonders of life — while dressed in a cozy yet outrageous inflatable cow costume.

Be friends! she says. 

(As fucking if.)

He likes you, but he thinks you hate him! she claims.

(False. He hated you first, so you hated him second.)

This year’s costume had been a panicked choice when Sasha reminded you of Mikasa’s costume party a mere twelve hours ago.

Scrambling through your closet before work, the outfit basically built itself: a pink hat, some old cowboy boots, jeans and a denim vest and ta-da—

A cowgirl!

To be fair, you thought Sasha changed her outfit to a silly cow to match you when you texted her the outfit a few hours before the party.

The foreboding dots, however, are connecting in real time:

Jean walks into the house with a bandana tied around his neck, a deep brown hat, a half-buttoned white shirt, and fringed chaps. 

He holds the door open, waiting for someone else.

Behind him waddles in Connie, dressed identically to Sasha as an inflatable cow. He sandwiches the puffy middle through the door before jumping out like a bursting star to greet the people mingling at the front of the house.

This?

This was an ambush.

“Whassajo?” Sasha slurs, cheeks puffed with food. She turns on a heel towards you, not in the least aware of her bulky surroundings.

But before you can answer, she recognizes the two walking through the front door, lights up and flings a hand to the sky. 

“Connie!”

Sharing the same brain cell, the man in question pauses, posing in his cow costume, before pointing at his wonder twin. He lets out a battle cry and rushes over the best an inflatable costumed-person can.

Of course that gets Jean’s attention, his eyes searching the crowd until they land on you, and the drop of his smile confronts the uncomfortable truth:

You’re the only cowgirl at the party, and as far as you can see, he’s the only cowboy.

God.

Damn.

It.

“Yoooo, you matched us!” Connie yelps, slinging a puffy arm around Sasha.

“For the record I didn’t try to, but I also didn’t know you both had matching cow costumes,” you state, trying to make it abundantly clear that this? Not your idea.

“Oh, these ol’ things were a last minute thing,” Sasha states once she’s swallowed her food, grinning ear to ear. “And they were on sale at Spirit, so—”

Jean cautiously makes his way over to your little corner of the party with his hands shoved into his jean pockets.

Either the lighting is making his face red as a tomato or he’s genuinely as embarrassed to be wearing a matching costume with you.

He mumbles a greeting, keeping his chin down.

The Monster Mash plays for the fourth time from the speakers — no doubt a takeover from Yeager, wherever he’s hiding at this party.

Connie pipes up after a minute, letting go of his partner in crime. “Where’d you get one of those, anyway? I want apples.”

“Kitchen,” Sasha states, looping her inflatable arm around his. “C’mon, to the promise land we go.”

Like clockwork, they leave.

They fucking leave you — and Jean, for that matter, because he still stands across from you with his head down and hands in his pockets. His mullet is neatly combed under the hat, stubble grown out for the occasion.

(He looks good, but you don’t have to admit it.)

“...so.” Jean speaks, though it’s barely audible. “This is a thing.”

“Yep.”

“Designed for us to get along?”

“Probably.”

“Sasha told me to go as a cowboy.”

“Probably after I told her I was going as a cowgirl.”

“At least we’re not wearing the same colored hat and stuff, right?” he tries to joke, shuffling his boot to poke at one of the plastic pumpkins lining the room. “Because that would’ve been really damn freaky.”

After acknowledging his statement with a grunt, silence meets you.

For a moment, you wonder if maybe that’s the end of the conversation.

This presumed couple’s costume will be a mere coincidence and no one will think otherwise and the night will go on its merry drunken little—

“Sorry.”

The word surprises you to the point of looking his way, but before you can, he’s already sliding closer to talk directly to you.

“Okay. Hear me out, alright?”

Your brows slide up your forehead. “Hear you… out?”

“It…”

Trailing off, Jean scrunches his nose and takes the hat off his head to smooth back his hair.

“Ah, fuck, just let me get this out one time and one time only and if it’s a shitty idea? We’ll pretend it never happened.”

“Uh—”

“What if tonight’s a truce?” he interrupts, gesturing between your denim-and-pleather-clad bodies. “Whatever beef we have with each other could be fixed or something.”

You open your mouth to speak, but Jean keeps going.

“Because I don’t hate you. Connie says you think I hate you, or something, and I don’t really know why you would ever think I—”

“I thought it because you hated me… first,” you try to remind him, tilting your head in confusion. “You literally declared it freshman year in front of—”

“I didn’t actually hate you!” he whisper-shouts over the mouth, conveying his emotion without the outburst. “I didn’t. Seriously. I said some stupid shit to get Yeager off my damn back about you and I regretted it as soon as I said it—”

“What?”

“I just want a chance, okay?”

Finally, with his hands flexed before you, Jean seems to get to the point of his ramble.

Squeezing his eyes shut for a brief second, he exhales and softens in defeat.

“One chance — to show you I’m not some sort of douchebag because I got tongue-tied years ago. I’m not that moron anymore. Just… let me get you a drink or water or something, and I’ll fix it. And if I still suck to you, then at least I’ll have said my peace.”

For what feels like ages, you simply stare at him.

He stares back as the party lights twinkle like a halo over his cowboy hat, eyes rounded and pleading.

As much as you hate to say it, you’re intrigued.

Jean’s right: it’s been years.

Why hold an arbitrary grudge if it was genuinely an accident?

“...fine,” you relent. “But just one.”

Relief floods his expression, and he sheepishly tips his hat to you. “Yes, ma’am, just one.”

[fae-papercuts]

Originally inspired as a response to some posts by @banrionceallach and @marlynnofmany. Polished it up and decided it would make a good start to my lil story blog. Enjoy!

Not Our Usual Passengers

“What do you mean, there’s something wrong with the engines?” Captain El'ek'tak said incredulously. “You’re not an engineer, none of you humans are. You’re not even crew, you’re passengers! How dare you claim there’s something wrong with my vessel!?”

The outraged captain puffed up her air sacks, the feathery amphibian inflating as she stared down the trio of humans who had been travelling with them for the past week. They were not what she had come to expect when transporting humans, not one bit.

They were quiet, for a start. One of them didn’t even speak at all, just made an occasional tuneless humming sound when they were concentrating particularly hard on something. That was usually accompanied by a rocking back and forth that seemed remarkably similar to the Ke'tek autonomic stimulation ritual of focus.

Humans weren’t supposed to do that, were they?

The second of the human party cleared their throat softly - something they always did before speaking, which was quite a rare occurrence. The captain appreciated this, actually. So many humans she had transported interrupted her, or spoke over each other. The disrespect was really quite remarkable - but these humans waited patiently for others to finish, and this particular human’s throat-clearing was used similarly to the way El'ek'tak’s own species rustled their dorsal feathers to indicate their intent to communicate.

“Captain, apologies if we caused any offence,” at this the non-speaking human’s eyes widened in surprise, and they shook their head, clearly agreeing in a profoundly apologetic manner, without words. Their apologetic companion went on, “We can’t be certain there’s something wrong with the ship, we just thought you should know that it sounds wrong.”

The first human spoke again, nodding as they added to their companion’s statement.

“Yes, I am sorry, I didn’t mean to assert certainty when I should have stated a suspicion,” they gave a short smile, then their face quickly fell back into a neutral expression. The captain was a little taken aback by this, as that particular human seemed to very rarely express facially - quite the opposite to what she was used to with humans. It was a little disconcerting, but mostly because she had put a lot of effort into learning about human non-verbal communication.

She blinked, and stared at the three for a long moment. “It sounds wrong?” she repeated back, surprised. She had heard of some particularly sensitive species being able to diagnose certain engine issues from the vibrational frequencies, but usually this required extremely highly trained specialists.

The silent human nodded, and raised a handheld device, tapping something onto its screen for a few moments. The other two humans turned and waited patiently as their friend worked, and the Captain watched with a raised eyebrow (this wasn’t a natural Girurian expression. She had learnt it from her human studies, enjoyed how it felt, and how it could communicate so many things at once).

The human held up the device, and it emitted a gentle, slightly robotic tone, “Engine pitch changed one point five hours ago. Rising quarter octave every seven minutes. Hurt very bad fifty five minutes ago.”

Captain El'ek'tak stared for a moment at the human, her feathers rustling vaguely, as she tried to figure out a response. She looked between all three of them. “You can hear the engines, from your quarters half way across the ship?” she asked incredulously.

The most vocal of the humans spoke, while the throat-clearer nodded and the non-verbal one tapped on their device. “Oh yes,” they said, “we’re all sensitive to sensory input, at least for humans. Not a patch on Alirians sound sensitivity, or Hynoids electromagnetic spectral range, or the scent capabilities of the Teraxids - did you know they can smell a single smoke particulate in a standard atmospheric volume of 500 cubic metres?”

The human with the device gently put a hand on the speaker’s shoulder and smiled softly at their friend - who turned bright red and looked at the floor. “Sorry, xenobiological sensory discrepancies is my special interest right now,” they said, before taking a slight step back. It was at this point that the captain noticed that they were fiddling with a strange cube in their left hand, suddenly speeding up how they manipulated the piece of plastic, changing its configuration rapidly. It was a fascinating display of manual dexterity, and considered asking about it for a moment.

“Engine makes the whole ship vibrate. Can hear it any place,” spoke the little device, for it’s human, interrupting the captain's curiosity. The human’s head rose, making eye contact with El'ek'tak. The human’s gaze was intense - more so than even the other humans the captain had encountered. Eye contact was so rarely a positive thing, across a wide variety of species, but with humans she had met so far it had always been considered important. So the captain had learned to look them in the eyes. It had been a surprise when this group avoided it so much, rarely meeting her gaze for more than a split second. Early in the voyage, they had politely explained that all of them found it hard, and that they hoped she wouldn’t take offence. Frankly, El'ek'tak had been a little relieved, as all the eye contact with others of the odd little species had been quite exhausting.

But right now, the diminutive human who never spoke and could apparently tell when engines changed pitch, was looking into her eyes, and the Captain could practically feel this little traveller’s distress. It made her ankle feathers itch, and she was surprised to find herself understanding quite so much from just a look.

The captain nodded, and broke eye contact. The human looked down again, reverting back to their usual slightly-bowed stance.

“Let me check with engineering,” she said, and turned to the panel by her side, tapping a screen to raise the engine-room. Slipping comfortably into her own language, she greeted the pair of engineering crew on duty, and asked them about the state of the engines, particularly frequency or oscillation-related issues. She gave them the time to check on it, waiting silently, still as a statue, while the humans figeted, or rocked gently side to side. Their motion made her a little uncomfortable, but she had learnt that with these three, continuous movement wasn’t a sign of impatience, as it has been for many previous human passengers.

After a few minutes, the engineers returned to the screen, and exchanged a few explanatory sentences with the Captain, before tapping fingers to their foreheads respectfully. The Captain returned the gesture, and ended the call.

El'ek'tak turned back to the humans, to see that the non-verbal one was already tapping on their device. She couldn’t help but rustle her feathers, wanting to reassure the humans, but not wanting to interrupt this overt preparation for communication. The throat-clearing human raised a finger briefly, a clear request for a moment of time, and the Captain found herself surprised again at how wide a variety of perception these humans could contain within a single species.

“Pitch dropping rapidly. Expect normal range in four minutes. Thank you, captain,” said the device, as the human beamed a broad smile at her for just a brief moment.

El'ek'tak’s feathers rustled briskly, and then she replied. “Yes, that’s alright, thank you for bringing it to our attention,” she said, pausing to gather her wits. “The interphasic array had become slightly misaligned. It wouldn’t have been detected by our sensors for another hour, and then we would have had to pause the engines to manually readjust it. Catching it this early, we could simply vary the input parameters to re-compensate, and bring it back into synchronisation,” she explained, relaying the gratitude of her engineering crew.

The most vocal human flapped their hands back and forth vigorously, grinning with delight. “Oh, thank goodness, I’m so glad we could help, and that the engine noise will at least be consistent. We were worried it would be horrible for the whole trip, and we’d have to reconfigure our ear protection all the time! Genuinely helping out the engineers is so great!”

The captain’s eyes bulged with happiness, quite unable to resist the infectious joy of the gleeful human. “I am glad your trip will be more comfortable, and I will pass on how helpful you were to Central, once we reach our destination.”

The throat-clearing human, who had so consistently noticed the captain’s non-verbal communication, smiled too. They actually chuckled a little as they said, “More neurodiversity stuff to go in The Guide To Interstellar Travel With Humans,” seeming pleasantly amused.

El'ek'tak winced in embarrassment. She had already sent in three amendments to the guide regarding natural variations in human cognitive capabilities and behavioural norms since they had left Alpha Centauri, the two weeks of travel offering surprise after surprise from these passengers. But as far as she knew, the guide wasn’t acknowledged by humans - she didn’t even know the species was aware of the now rather sizeable volume of collected knowledge. It certainly wasn’t available in any human languages that she knew of - after all, what would be the point?

The human’s chuckle became gentler, and the other vocal one of the group raised a hand in an extremely close mimic of the Girurian comforting gesture - as close as could be with the wrong number of digits, anyway. The Captain couldn’t help but relax, the effort the human put into the gesture only adding to the positive impact. They flashed another brief smile as their companion explained, “Don’t worry captain. Most of us don’t bother with it, but I find it fascinating. It has been wonderful seeing the updates since our trip began. Please, the more human neurodivergency is documented, the easier space travel can be for people like us.”

There were a few more polite exchanges, during which the captain learned  that the strange device she had notice was an 'infinity cube,' which was apparently a kind of 'fidget toy.' Then the humans left her ready room; a quiet, somewhat surreal collection of beings who had rather put a lie to the notion that humans were uniformly capable of being brash and difficult to deal with.

But they certainly didn’t do anything to diminish the captain’s view of humanity as a species eternally full of surprises.

[robertreich]

The Silent Revolution in American Economics

I don't think you're expecting what I'm about to say, because I have never seen anything like this in fifty years in politics.

For decades I've been sounding an alarm about how our economy has become increasingly rigged for the rich. I've watched it get worse under both Republicans and Democrats, but what President Biden has done in his first term gives me hope I haven't felt in years. It’s a complete sea change.

Here are three key areas where Biden is fundamentally reshaping our economy to make it better for working people.

#1 Trade and industrial policy

Biden is breaking with decades of reliance on free-trade deals and free-market philosophies. He’s instead focusing on domestic policies designed to revive American manufacturing and fortify our own supply chains.

Take three of his signature pieces of legislation so far — the Inflation Reduction Act, the CHIPS Act, and his infrastructure package. This flood of government investment has brought about a new wave in American manufacturing.

Unlike Trump, who just levied tariffs on Chinese imports and used it as a campaign slogan, Biden is actually investing in America’s manufacturing capacity so we don’t have to rely on China in the first place.

He’s turning the tide against deals made by previous administrations, both Democratic and Republican, that helped Wall Street but ended up costing American jobs and lowering American wages.

#2 Monopoly power

Biden is the first president in living memory to take on big monopolies.

Giant firms have come to dominate almost every industry. Four beef packers now control over 80 percent of the market, domestic air travel is dominated by four airlines, and most Americans have no real choice of internet providers.

In a monopolized economy, corporate profits rise, consumers pay higher prices, and workers’ wages shrink.

But under the Biden, the Federal Trade Commission and the Antitrust Division of the Justice Department have become the most aggressive monopoly fighters in more than a half century. They��re going after Amazon and Google, Ticketmaster and Live Nation, JetBlue and Spirit, and a wide range of other giant corporations.  

#3 Labor

Biden is also the most pro-union president I’ve ever seen.

A big reason for the surge in workers organizing and striking for higher wages is the pro-labor course Biden is charting.

The Reagan years blew in a typhoon of union busting across America. Corporations routinely sunk unions and fired workers who attempted to form them. They offshored production or moved to so-called “right-to-work” states that enacted laws making it hard to form unions.

Even though Democratic presidents promised labor law reforms that would strengthen unions, they didn’t follow through. But under Joe Biden, organized labor has received a vital lifeboat. Unionizing has been protected and encouraged. Biden is even the first sitting president to walk a picket line.

Biden’s National Labor Relations Board is stemming the tide of unfair labor practices, requiring companies to bargain with their employees, speeding the period between union petitions and elections, and making it harder to fire workers for organizing.

Americans have every reason to be outraged at how decades of policies that prioritized corporations over people have thrown our economy off-keel.

But these three waves of change — a worker-centered trade and industrial policy, strong anti-monopoly enforcement, and moves to strengthen labor unions — are navigating towards a more equitable economy.

It’s a sea change that’s long overdue.

[darknessdrops]

A (long) Rant and Au Revoir

I'm Canadian. And I'm in a country that is under attack by its powerful neighbour. A neighbour that is intent on destroying our economy, taking our jobs, lowering our living standards, and erasing our sovereignty.

For the past sixty years we have, with the cooperation and invitation of the United States, conjoined our economy with theirs. Essentially there's been a North American economic union, first established by the original NAFTA treaty in the late 1980s. Canada relied on those treaties and the entire Canadian economy is now dependent upon access to the U.S. market.

And it turns out to have been a trap.

The U.S. President now imposes ruinous tariffs - on fake (what else would it be when coming from Trump?) and flimsy national security grounds - the obvious intent of which is to de-industrialize Canada (and Mexico) for the benefit of the U.S.

And sure, every country has the right to impose tariffs to protect vital national interests, or to protest unfair trade practices by another state. But across the board 25% tariffs against Mexico and Canada are not that; rather they are a form of economic warfare in which one state is using its economic advantage to beggar its neighbours. And it will result in severe economic hardship for my family and friends. (I have friends who work in the auto industry. They expect to be laid off in the next couple of weeks.)

I remember Trump texting - when it appeared that Russia was going to defeat Ukraine in a matter of days - how "smart" Putin was. Trump has no morality or sense of right and wrong. He only celebrates power and success.

It really depresses me that even the "liberal" American media that I follow (CNN, MSNBC, the New York Times, etc.) sees this from a purely American viewpoint. What might it do to U.S. rate of inflation? How will it affect American jobs? But where is the outrage about an illegitimate exercise of power? That this is an aggressive and unprovoked attack on weaker countries that have done nothing to deserve such a response? (And god help me if anyone mentions fentanyl!!)

Anyway, I could go on and on. And on. But it makes no difference.

So one very small thing I'm doing is to cut all of my use or purchase of American goods. There's no fucking way I'll buy anything made in America. And that means cancelling Netflix and Prime and Apple+, the Times, and any other product that means I'm paying money to a U.S. entity.

Platforms like Tumblr and Instagram and BlueSky are a bit different. I don't directly pay anything for their use. (And, in the case of Tumblr, it probably loses money.) But they are American owned and, at this moment, that's not something that sits too well with me. And, sorry, that's probably irrational and unfair, but that's how it is.

I hope it's "au revoir" and not goodbye.

[milkyruins]

## han jisung x reader, APRON AND SWEATS

god, i think it's been at least a year or so since i've last posted. well, hi! i'm still in love with hanji!

summary: jisung asks to marry you but you're quite literally in an apron and sweats.

genre: fluff

content warnings: cursing (affectionately), joking mentions of attacking someone with pepper and evicting them

wc: ~0.4k

“that’s it, i’m going to marry you.“

you were mid-sauteeing up leftovers, but now your spatula remains frozen against the pan. “what?”

“what?” han does his signature frown/pout back at you– like he has a right to look upset that you didn’t comprehend his out-of-left-field proposal. 

“well, if you say outrageous shit like that to me, you know i’m going to do a double take.”

he huffs, cheeks inflating in disdain. “it’s not outrageous for me to want to marry the love of my life, though.”

you snort at his dramatics, reaching for the pepper grinder. “but right this instant? why?”

“because you're hot as fu-”

“can it before i douse you with pepper and kick you out.”

he giggles. “i’m joking, i’m joking.” a beat passes, the sound of the range hood’s fan consuming your kitchen. 

“there’s actually no real good reason. i just… this right here feels right. like something i want to do for the rest of my life.” he takes a breath, letting his eyelids flutter shut. a contented grin tugs at his lips. “half-assed leftovers dinners with you. aimless ‘how was your day’s and easy banter sessions. putting on whatever’s good to end the night, which inevitably ends up being love island because for some unknown reason you’re absolutely obsessed. plus, you look so goddamn beautiful and all you’re doing is doing menial labor in that ratty old apron.”

he opened his eyes again, finding his way to yours. and in his glance, you knew. there was a promise in his stare that left you speechless. at this point, the stir-fry could be charred to smithereens and you wouldn’t have noticed. 

you somehow mustered the willpower to close your slackened jaw and respond. “c’mere for a second, sungie?”

your clueless boyfriend waddled his way over to you. you reached for the nearest drawer, rummaged around, and– ah. found it.

“i hereby declare that i, your loving partner, love you very, very much and want to be yours for the rest of eternity. will you marry me, han jisung?” you slip the keyring of the measuring spoon kit around his ring finger, melting at his utterly stupefied expression. 

“you’re being for real?”

you pause. “well, let me get a redo once i properly invest in a ring. but… we’ll marry sometime in the future. i mean, after saying i look like a smoking hot bombshell in my apron and sweats, you’re literally never getting rid of me.”

jisung’s eyes started to crinkle and the largest smile known to humankind erupted across his lips. “so where’s the prenup?”

you grin, pointing towards the turnip sitting pretty on the counter, and he loses it. ♡

[marmaladeinlemonade]

Event tickets in sky were never going to work anyway.

It's way too good to be true; a currency that cannot be transferred across events or into candles/hearts for the sole purpose of making event cosmetics easier to obtain, that is collected by participating in the event itself? Thats already fishy enough by tgc's standards.

Thatgamecompany has a habit of making short term solutions for long term problems because of the sheer amount of content they make yearly, leaving less room to optimize regular gameplay. ET has probably been the most apparent example of this. (MAAAAJOR YAP SESSION AHEAD!)

When event tickets were first released, I was ecstatic. I was already struggling to keep up with Days of Bloom and Mischief since I have taken many breaks from sky, but I couldn't begin to fathom how the prices may feel to a new player. I also hated picking and choosing between what items to buy simply because i didn't dedicate the past two weeks so candlerunning alone. Hopefully this new addition of ET would take off that load and i can enjoy the following events to it's fullest, and well, I did.

For the first year that is. These cosmetics that costed ET were damn near free for me. Yet, in the back of my head i always wondered what would happen the following year once these ET cosmetics came back, alongside the new ones that were to be released. Would they cost just as much ET as last year's items? Then collecting ET would only get more stressful and inflate its value. Would the past items go away? That is unfair to new players and pushes FOMO to get everything every year.

Maybe the total price could stay the same but older items depreciate each year as newer ones release, making the oldest ones the cheapest.

And to my great surprise as i look at beta logs for this year's days of summer, not a single item from the year before is under 90 candles! How could this possibly be fair to new players who are trying to enjoy sky for what it is and get items? I've seen some people argue that the player has the choice to not get all cosmetics, which is true, but I'd like to show you what thought process is implied with this system. Think:

"We know you don't fully know your way around sky's economy, or don't have the time to grind everyday, but for this year only these new items are free just by participating in the event! And if you don't, for any reason, the price of the items will be worth 3-6 hours of candlerunning on top of MORE cosmetics! But it's all up to you!"

This isn't to say us as a playerbase have zero autonomy, but i hope you can see how FOMO is enforced when you add a currency with zero value outside of an annual 2 week event that gives players a "now or never" mindset. This is great in the moment, it pushes people to participate! Yet, this ruthlessly punishes players who aren't available for any reason, even those who weren't aware of sky before joining.

Sky is still a new game. Event tickets were only introduced a year ago, but if tgc keeps going down this economic pattern then imagine the amount of cosmetics locked away from new players, or players who took breaks, because of this exponential increase in pricing!

This is a more subjective opinion- but let me be honest; these cosmetics are not worth their candle/heart prices.

I was lucky enough to get all the days of style and days of summer items from last year for ET and i barely wore them, i can only imagine ONE item from each event being rewearable. I didn't mind though because i knew the towel capes and silly glasses were nice starter items for moths, but it's not even moth friendly anymore?! In the past only items that were in high demand were priced outrageously like rhythm and lightseeker TS, and now I'm spending extra for a purple top hat that doesn't even match any of the other purples in this game☠️☠️ you're getting less bang for your buck with a 110 candle towel cape bro

And lastly, there are other issues I've seen in sky that i would say are parallel to this whole event ticket situation. The time gaps between seasons have grown significantly smaller, and each seasonal update has been saturated with glitches and disappointment. Season of the Nine-Colored Deer is another very apparent example of this for me. The castle and crescent lake is done beautifully and the quests are decent, but no one is returning to the area. The rest of the town is empty and awkward, and half the map is in a canyon where you spawn so it's already a good 2-3 minutes getting out of that area alone. The place is just rushed. Its inconvenient.

Ill be posting a poll right after this post, but me personally i would not mind having 3 seasons a year if it meant higher quality content and more breaks from events. More spirits that are well thought out, detailed seasonal quests that arent cleanups or scavenger hunts, less quantity but higher quality cosmetics and emotes, and elder appearances! It's clear that tgc has a more complex world design outside of Sky: cotl when we look at The Two Embers, but that the energy it takes to make it in game is placed elsewhere.

Thatgamecompany is pushing out more content than they ever have before and I think their work is starting to crumble under the weight.

If you made it here THANK YOU!!! you're a lifesaver, theres so much that i want to say and i really hope a lot of skids see this post so that we can get a cohesive discussion going❤️

[omgthatdress]

Barbie made her debut in 1959. The way she was sold then is a little different than the way she's sold now. These days, individual Barbies come with their own unique looks & usually some kind of unique function or accessories. You can buy clothes separately, but those looks are still secondary to the expectation of buying a lot of Barbies. Back in the day, you bought the one Barbie and then bought her clothes separately. This is why back then Barbie came with a bunch of friends and always came wearing a swimsuit.

The oft-memed origin story for the classic Barbie is that she was modeled on a German sex doll named Lili, which is only partially true. In the 50s, most dolls available for girls were baby dolls that primed girls for being a wife and mother. Fashion dolls were a thing but they were generally more reserved for adults.

Ruth Handler, who co-founded Mattel with her husband and served as its president from 1945-1973 (#girlboss much?), got the idea of making an adult doll for girls when she'd see her daughters playing with paper dolls. Instead of playing with babies, they chose teen-aged and adult paper dolls and played fantasized versions of adulthood. Then, on a trip to Germany, Ruth saw a Lili doll in a store, and asked her daughters what they'd think of playing with a doll like that. Apparently, they liked the idea.

Lili the doll wasn't an inflatable fuck doll. She was based on a popular comic strip character Lili created by Reinhard Beuthien and published in the Hamburg-based Bild Zeitung. Lili was a buxom gold-digger seducing her way through the wealthy men of post-war West Germany.

The comic was definitely adult-oriented, and the doll it created was a popular bachelor party gag gift.

The introduction of a doll with breasts did cause *some* controversy, but it was more pearl-clutching rather than tremendous cultural outrage. Barbie was actually an immediate hit. She fit in very well to late 50s ideals of femininity. I've heard it said before that parents liked her because she helped little girls get into the beauty, fashion, and level of grooming that she would need to catch a husband. IDK if that was intentional, but it seems to fit very well.

I don't want to get into whether or not Barbie is this huge feminist icon or not because, well, she's a toy. I think Ruth Handler was an incredibly smart businesswoman who saw a market demand and met it. Barbie is about the power of fantasy and imagination, and anything that people see in her are the things they want to see in her.

In her incredible multitude of careers, she also holds up an impossible and toxic standard of beauty. Mattel has always been very aware of Barbie's image. I'm pretty sure that the reason Mattel hated "Barbie Girl" so much wasn't because it was wink-wink sexual, but because it nailed the popular stereotype of the time that Barbie was this fake, plastic bimbo who was an unhealthy role model for girls (go listen to Aquarium, now!).

The recent years of Barbie taking on a more empowering, feminist, and diverse lean is because Mattel is simply correcting course and keeping up with the times. Honestly, they've done a very good job of it, but I'm not going to kid myself into thinking they're doing anything other than maximizing profits.

I love me some Barbie but I was always an AG girl, ngl. However, I think Barbie and her cultural context are still incredibly fascinating and worth taking a look at.

[httpvomitello]

hello hello! here to drop a request if you have the chance :3 rise leo with a gender neutral reader? they have a spoiled and famous teen influencer type vibe, but they love Leo to death and inflate the hell out of his ego. Love your characterization of the boys a ton 💜 (- @boybeholding )

I loved writing this! And thank you so much for enjoying my writing. I hope you enjoy it! ♡♡♡♡

(I decided to write that they really are famous on social media)

Boosting the Blue *⁠.⁠✧

The lair was buzzing with energy. Well, it always was, but today felt different. Leonardo had that extra pep in his step, that added swagger in his stride. Why? Because you were coming over.

You, with your flawless social media presence, your outrageous confidence, and your ability to make everything you touched seem cooler by association. The first time Leo saw your follower count, he nearly choked on his pizza. “Famous, huh?” he’d teased, though he was secretly impressed.

The thing about you? You were flashy, a little extra, and maybe a tiny bit spoiled, but when it came to Leo? You were his number one hype-person. You adored him, and he knew it.

“Leo,” Raph grumbled as Leo adjusted his bandanna for the fifth time in front of the mirror. “You’re seriously doing all that for Y/N? You know they already like you that way.”

“Obviously,” Leo replied, striking a pose. “They deserve my best.”

Raph rolled his eyes, muttering something about Leo’s already enormous ego, but Leo didn’t care. You thought he was amazing, and he wasn’t about to let you down.

You arrived at the lair with your usual flair, carrying a designer bag and wearing an outfit that screamed luxury. “Where’s my favorite turtle?!” you called out, your voice echoing through the tunnels.

“Right here, babe!” Leo appeared in a flash, his grin wide as ever. He slid up next to you, striking a dramatic pose. “Miss me?”

“Always,” you said, draping yourself onto his arm like he was a movie star. “Leo, you’re looking extra fine today. Did you do something different? New bandanna technique?”

He chuckled, leaning in closer. “You noticed, huh? It’s all for you.”

You gasped theatrically, pressing a hand to your chest. “Stop, you’re gonna make me swoon.”

The two of you were in your own little world, completely oblivious to the groans coming from his brothers in the background.

“Ugh, they’re at it again,” Donnie muttered, rubbing his temples. “Why must they feed the beast that is Leo’s ego?”

But you didn’t care, and neither did Leo. You were too busy showering him with compliments.

“Leo, you’re the coolest, most talented, most amazing turtle I know,” you said as you both flopped onto the couch. “I’m honestly shocked you’re not running the city by now.”

“I know, right?” Leo said, throwing an arm around your shoulders. “But, you know, I gotta give everyone else a chance.”

You giggled, lightly smacking his plastron. “You’re too humble for your own good, Leonardo.”

He tilted his head, giving you a playful smirk. “I try.”

Throughout the day, you found new ways to inflate his ego. Whether he was showing off his sword tricks or cracking jokes, you were right there hyping him up.

At one point, Leo attempted a flashy flip off the couch, landing with a flourish. “Pretty smooth, huh?”

You clapped dramatically. “Leonardo, you’re a vision! Honestly, it’s a crime you’re not charging for performances.”

He laughed, basking in your praise. “Well, I do aim to please.”

Even during quieter moments, you were there, leaning into him and muttering how lucky you felt to have someone as cool as him. Leo, despite all his bravado, would soften under your words.

“Thanks, Y/N,” he’d say, his voice a little more genuine than usual. “You’re the best, you know that?”

And you’d smile, knowing that for all his flair, Leo valued you just as much as you did him.

@boybeholding

[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 76 (A Happy Harvestfest With One Greedy Little Genius)

Despite their busy schedules with work, Heather and Conrad hosted most of her family in Brindleton Bay for Harvestfest dinner. Ash would start school soon, and Heather could scarcely believe how fast time had gone. It seemed only yesterday she brought him home from the hospital in Henford where he was born.

Heavily pregnant herself, Heather's sister Holly spent most of the night napping in the upstairs guestroom, while her husband Kris and daughter Tetra hid out in the bathroom when the number of strange people made the infant uncomfortable. But otherwise the house was full of love and celebration, just as Harvestfest was meant to be.

Everyone ate so much there were no turkey leftovers! And though Heather was an incredible chef who had mastered gourmet cooking in their quest for ambrosia, Conrad stepped up to make this year's grand meal. Not only would it help him with his own cooking skill in their quest, it let very-pregnant Heather rest and enjoy the day with her family.

By the time everyone left, they were exhausted but content that nothing had spontaneously caught fire this time, unlike their last Spooky Day party.

A few weeks after his birthday, Ash lost his first tooth. A little genius with perhaps a hint of Landgraab greed, he was so excited for the Tooth Fairy's visit, Heather worried he'd try to pull the rest of his teeth before they were ready to fall out!

"Are you going to put that tooth under your pillow tonight?" asked Conrad.

Ash shook his head. "No, I'm gonna save it and take it to Daddy's! He told me when he was a kid, his Tooth Fairy gave him ten whole simoleons - per tooth!" Heather and Conrad exchanged wry looks. "With inflation, who knows how rich she is now!"

Conrad laughed as Heather balked. "How do you know about inflation? You're five."

"Gramma Nancy taught me about inflation," he said with a shrug. "She said when I run the company one day, I'll have to know a lot."

Heather forced a smile, but later that night she texted Malcolm.

So this is weird. I heard your Tooth Fairy got caught in the last recession and the going rate for our son's teeth is still ten simoleons.

Malcolm: ...Did he bring up inflation?

Ten! (Which is still outrageous) No more! And don't let your mother make him feel like he has to run Landgraab Corp. one day!

Malcolm: Alright, I'll tell him. I swear.

And your mother...?

He didn't respond. Even if Malcolm couldn't or wouldn't pick this battle with his mother, Heather wanted her son to work harder for whatever he wanted in life than his father ever had. She wanted him to understand responsibility despite the privileges he'd been born into.

He took out the trash, cleaned the litter boxes, fed the animals - even the beetles in the insect farm, and always did his homework. He even loved to help Conrad rake the leaves as long as he could jump and play in them when they were done!

Just as outgoing as he was as a toddler, he spent as much time as he could with his friends. He loved playing on the pirate ship by the wharf with Scotti Holiday, whose parents, Summer and Travis, had befriended Heather over numerous trips to the vet with the Holidays' dog, Kona.

"Be glad there's only going to be one at home," Scotti said. "Mateo is annoying and all Courtney does is make messes." She was about a year older than Ash. Even though he was a genius, he thought six-year-old Scotti knew more about life than he ever could.

"I'll have another one soon too, but that brother or sister will live in San Myshuno with my dad."

"Do you see your dad a lot?"

Ash shrugged. "Not as much as you see yours. I see Conrad all the time, though."

"But Detective Gordon's not even your stepdad. He can't even discipline you when you do something bad."

"I don't really do bad things..."

Scotti laughed. "You're so funny, Ash Landgraab."

Even as Heather and Conrad marveled at how fast Ash had grown, the days passed at a snail's pace as they waited for his little brother or sister to be born. ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 1 Summary | Gen 1 Start

NOTE: The pose before the cut is from the Us 3 pose pack by @katverse. I used the all-in-one version (there are 5 poses) and caught them between pose flips, but I also caught Gord breaking into the shot! So this is now one of my favourite family portraits on the walls of their home. 🥰

NOTE 2: I'm itching to post Saturday's post early. Should I do it or is Saturday fine? It's a really good episode. 👀