#but not rn bc I need to work some
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me when the @tavernfest round 14 was announced: ohh maybe I can finish my cute caountryside fluffy knights art
me today: oh... the theme could also work for a gangbang 🤔🧠
two wolves yadda yadda XD
#moss text#but not rn bc I need to work some#and go out for a walk before complete dark#but it's in the backburner#unless sanremo brainrot spreads faster#eh#life of an artist is complicated#drawing log
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same teacher, different lessons
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#sonic the hedgehog#dr. ivo eggman robotnik#miles tails prower#sonic frontiers#SPOILERS. THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS COMIC BY THE WAY.#SONIC FRONTIERS SPOILERS#smiles gently I can not believe I let sonic the fuckign hedgehog ruin my life#(I can I totally can)#hi <3 if you follow me because I drew this sonic comic. don't!#don't do it! follow me bc I'm funny and hot and devastatingly smart don't follow me bc I draw sonic stuff. bc it won;t happen again#I mean it. not bc I dont like or want to do sonic stuff. but bc I am literally in the middle of a job rn#one that I want to invest 100% of my time and brain in#this comic is actually an effort to win my brain back so I can do my job lol#because I finished miss penny snapcube's streams of this game and it force fed me emotions#I just! I just thought sonic would come tell eggman abt sage!! idk seems like something he'd do!!!#and also the whole thing abt letting the characters move on and have a future and change and develop#vs Killing My Baby Little Guy Daughter For Like Ten Minutes#thematically interesting! also for some reasons I had. a pretty easy time drawing this#I was mouthbreathing galloping like a horse to finishing this. Because I Need To Work#I didnt expect to have a good time with these designs tho idk why. probably bc I most suck shit at drawing animals#but to be fair yet again sonic and tails are little guys. theyre animal but theyre also like dudes. also sonic's design is kinda perfect#as far as character design goes he's really pretty goo- wait I made a continuity error hol on#okay. okay I fixed it. no problem. no matter 's all good now#okay. I go sleep now. today has been very noisy. but this actually got me through it okay#thank you sonic the hedgehog. that was pretty cool of u#have a good night guys! absolute freedom is probably really really sad#long post
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Yeah a teaser dropping on ST day would be cool. But can we agree that a DNA board reveal would be infinitely better?
#byler#stranger things#st5 predictions#st5 dna board#yes I know a dna board reveal doesn’t qualify as like major promo since most fans want something visual and real#and so it’s likely we’ll get a teaser regardless#which is great#but I’m just imagining the rest of the day being subpar in terms of stuff for us to actually analyze outside of the teaser#they released the s4 dna board during lockdown and a couple months before they even finished writing it#so s5’s board is definitely finalized by now#and it would cost them nothing…#well i mean technically it could cost them everything 😭#it’s just a matter of how on the nose they were about some of the titles it features#and if they’re willing to risk sharing that at this time when there’s still a year until release#i could see a decent amount of films on it being incriminating on so many different fronts#but I could also see some super random stuff in the mix that would distract people from reading into the incriminating stuff#it’s just something that could actually keep us busy analyzing for a while#a teaser would be everything we need rn#but the dna list is what I actually want 😭#i’ve been working on my own st5 dna board wishlist bc I’m so impatient for this#i’m gonna post it tomorrow#it’s time#and in the case they do reveal the dna board next week I want to have mine ready to see if there are any matches#i’ve also been working on my st5vision playlist for nearly 2 years now (jesus) and it’s time to share that too#soon!!
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I'm REALLY busy with work rn BUT that doesn't stop me from falling into GF rabbit hole because THAT BOOK....
It feels like 2015 again wow
#Internet here is BAD but eh#Basically I'm working at summer camp rn and it's.... Yeah#26 kids and 2 of us and there's like 4 groups like that#Anyway that's where I've been#I'm still processing end of MHA too#So it helps!#ANYWAY#gravity falls#bill cipher#the book of bill#the book of bill spoilers#Kinda!#sketch#my art#fanart#I literally took my phone and did this bc THIS BOOK#I honestly didn't think how much I needed it until I read it#Like I did have some headcanons and stuff and Flat Dreams left it's mark! But THIS? this scratched an itch I didn't remember existing#Like it WAS there but I forgot about it#It's cool#Phew anyway back to no-internet land
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19.11.23, sunday
I listened to Succession soundtrack a lot today and had about the most productive day I’ve had in so so long
things done today:
7h of coding
went to my sister’s kid’s birthday party (mario theme 🍄)
#even tho during the first 4 hours it was me slowly realizing that I had configured/set up my one project wrong somehow#and I’m so far gone with it now that idk how to rly fix it other than starting again and trying to speedrun all I’ve done so far#aka the 50hours I’ve spent on it#but i’m hoping I’ll get it to function by just fucking around with adding some files & paths manually (i doubt that’ll work)#that’s a big yikes that I would not have time for#but I’ve done enough to get a grade out of that course but rn it’d be 3/5 and I want 5/5 bc it’s an easy course to get that from#and god knows I need to do everything in my power to raise my gpa#studyblr#bookblr#booklr#aesthetic#books#study#reading#read#book#dark academia#chaotic academia#november 2023#2023
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we are underutilising the possibility of agrippa/maecenas yaoi
#sort of related when colleen explicitly (i think explicitly?) says that maecenas is In Homoerotic Love with octavian and then the whole.#dynamic. that that COULD have created (and sort of did) in masters of rome if she didnt try and retcon the gay out of a/o but idk#also augustus imperium like just the whole movie. and the one bit in either suetonius or dio <- brain not working rn but whatever#where its like ooh they clash and argue bc agrippa's too rustic and maecenas is a city boy. okay well maybe they should kiss about it#may have misremembered that or got it from some hist fic or other. AGH i need to cite my goddamn yaoi sources#agrippa#blah blah
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#hi im j here 2 talk . saw this cow yday so i drew her and now u get 2 say hi#but omffgg my gd i dont know if any of u relate but i feel like my ability to socialize w others#specifically online and speciifically in interest-circles has gotten so much harder for no reason whatsoever#like im just becoming more self conscious ab how i portray myself and its so weird bc like . LIKEE I DONT KNOW like . ok#people r super njce . always super nice and reach out to me and talk w me or i reach out first and they respond and r soo sweet#and something happens in my brain where like . i feel like im suddenly like . inserting myself where i dont belong (not true) but why am i#the bus driver all of a sudden . in all of these situations . me when i just show up like hey#i think i j feel annoying >__< . and i dont want to bother other people but said people r literally never bothered ykwim like Will Reach Out#and im the one that pulls back but 4 no reason . i cant even think ab why i do that .why am i doing this 🧨#so many ppl i want to genuinely befriend in all of these spaces but im self sabotaging soo frwaking bad#literally rn thinking of some dms i left on read bc i panicked or mutuals ive talked w before who im nervous 2 be familiar w . hrmm#anyways . i kind of wish i had the ability 2 just talk to new people and not actually gaf ab the outcome#HELPP .. early tmblr or wcf or devart where u have thirty million friends 2 now where u r too scared 2 say hi to an almost friend .#me problem though . if not alr clear HEJAHHAAHA i think part of my reluctance also stems from the fact that i know i get this way#and so i dont want 2 rope someone else into that insecurity so i try to keep it at an arms length until i fix it#but i think i also know its a longer & more introspective thing to work on so i do need to just try anyways
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#no punchline just slice of life ^_^#tho i did wanna make it longer but felt it wouldnt ''end'' properly ykwim#anyway talon has qualms bc he wants to go to the spring but isnt feeling well enough to make the walk rn#he needs some blood#a doodley#OH and more context is al's parents' home isnt/wasnt readily adapted to smaller furs! it was a surprise visit#and al was at work so they were stuck there for a bit
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well. i need to yell about it somewhere. listen. Amanda Lehan Canto on newest season of Um Actually. Ify hosting. BDG hosting with Ify!!!!!!! Fucking. WILD.
#this is when i reveal that ive accidentally gone down a DEEPLY gay rabbit hole about the smosh women in my cr hiatus#but also this new season looks SO goood!!!!!! BRIAN AND IFY CO HOSTING. WILDIN. i will miss u trapp and michael but !!!#not cr#dropout#god i need to figure out my dropout tagging on this blog sorry#um actually#brian david gilbert#ify nwadiwe#...#amanda lehan canto#at some point i should maybe make a spread of sideblogs. but that day is not today#also. yes. amanda lehan canto on dropout. god im having an out of body experience at work rn from sheer excitement#im SO thrilled and also so curious what the episode topic is bc. my impression os that damien and amanda's knowledge sets do NOT overlap#v much
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I'm keeping this somewhat on a back burner because I think I need more data, but I feel like a current boundary being tested in actual play, for TTRPGs that are, for lack of a better way to put it, party-based and ostensibly heroic, is exploring in-game whether the PCs might be the bad guys or even just neutral guys who are not up to the task. (For this reason, "evil" campaigns do not count here, since those aren't about exploring it as a possibility but instead are simply stating that's the situation - I'm looking for the doubt and realization).
I feel like fans (and some GMs and players) get really skittish about this as a possibility, which is unfortunate because it's one of the most interesting things you can do.
#the best example i can think of offhand is sean finnerty tbh#like it feels some GMs and players are willing to play with it#but even then it's so often in places where consequences are lessened (bcbp and trinyvale come to mind)#and granted. this needs REALLY solid table discussion and agreement beforehand#AND it requires a LOT of GM work re: the enemy#i need to find like. actual play scholars somewhere bc i feel the two big trends rn are#1. more editing/production/removal from the table (which i think is bad)#and 2. this (which i think is good)#oh god. do i have to try to watch kollok. i don't really want to but i feel like i should to be informed.
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Does anyone have any tips to help stop yourself from comparing your artwork to others, or equating your value as an artist with likes and reblogs?
I've struggled with this for a while and it's getting old, I don't know how to just shrug it off. Any genuine advice would be nice
#its just bygging me bc i know rationally they dont matter i knoe they dont#but i still feel it in my bones that im not good enough because my work doesnt circulate on platforms#i paint for fun and then i post and i get these feelings and theyre so goddamn annoying#i know to just keep posting anyway and try to enjoy the ride but my Depression Brain is such an asshole#i wish it would be quiet#i never used to feel this way either until likes and reposts/reblogs became so integral to social media#on top of needing commissions to get by while looking for work and attending school soon#idk maybe this is just a vent and ik no one can Fix it that simply#i guess im just speaking 2 the void rn and maybe others feel the same#*bugging#and i really am so grateful just to know anyone likes it or comments on it and reading feedback really really means so much#but i feel like unless im pumping out specific fandom stuff that doesnt really happen#but the negative thoughts and feelings can b rly strong sometimes and im just tired#im sure this is a depression thing too#hoping i can get into therapy thru school but it depends on finances as everything else in this world does 🫠#ill keep going tho#and please if you are someone who does comment or reblog and say something about the work please do not ever stop#it means so much to me and others im positive it does#i see you and i appreciate you so so much#thank you and thank you to anyone who reads or comments some ideas
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god why am i so fucking stupid. having adhd is truly a curse and i hate bearing it
#not to vent on main but. fml actually!#in my health assessment lab we had this case study assignment to do and i freaking. misunderstood all of it so bad#idk why but for some reason i thought we were supposed to make up a patient ourselves for it#…we were not#no :) we were not :) there’s a freaking. TEMPLATE for the exact patient we were supposed to do it on in the module#that i opened once and then forgot about because adhd just works like that#and now im literally . kmsing because we fucking . we fucking presented these orally in class#and i was only half paying attention bc i was (incorrectly) documenting my (made-up) patient information on the record#and i thought it was weird that like 2 or 3 people seemed to have VERY similar patients but did not question it further#…which is to say. i may be stupid.#and now i feel like dying because im gonna have to email my professor and TELL HER how stupid i am#and hope that she takes enough pity on me and my cursed brain to let me do it over properly#because my lab grade is now barely a 77 and i need a 75 to pass. and our final assessment is tomorrow.#i genuinely cannot live like this anymore im serious#i need a fucking brain transplant#anyway tl;dr guys please pray for me please please please im actually disintegrating rn#to delete later
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It‘a kind of insane how Baghdad is always on my mind tbh I would do anything to run away to the capital and deal w my dad’s crazy relatives calling me whitewashed just so I could sit on a bistro and look at the string of lights and listen to people speak Arabic and eat Iraqi food and feel like a true Iraqiya
#But I have smmmm going on here studying research clinic etc#And I need to stick the landing like an adult#But I miss it sm and the yearning has been so strong#I need to center my Iraqi identity over my American one for like 3 months straight#I yearnpost about Iraq every three business days bc ever since June hit I’ve been going crazy#Last June I was already there ):#And I love all that I’m doing here but sometimes a girl just needs to run away to Baghdad for a summer#The work will pay off eventually and I’ll be glad to have been patient ab it but I’m j having an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex moment rn#I also had plans to go to Europe too but I think I need to plan it better and tie off some loose ends here first#Whatevs
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i haven’t talked about sims in awhile but i’ve been working on this 80s miami-ish apartment…im tryna go for cocaine glamour honestly
#also now i understand why people use reshade bc my in game lights ain’t giving 80s aesthetic at all#we also need some more 80s inspired build items in game too cause this is hard 😭#i gave up rn tho bc im working on getting my hairs ready for this month#🪐 speaking
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she's beauty she's grace she's Miss Eevee Cosplay 3.0
#personal#pls don't ask me why i'm up at 2am i don't wanna talk about it#anyway i think she's mostly done maybe#i did some more work on the bangs on the wig after i took these pictures so they look better#and i might try to find some flowery earrings when i go to the store for some other stuff tomorrow#but all the major things are done. i think.#honestly i'm all over the place rn so i could be forgetting something#i keep bouncing back and forth between the one million things i have to do (con and not con-related)#anyway i usually try to do a different cosplay every day of con but idk i think i'll just wear flower eevee both saturday and sunday#bc i've put so much work into it and tbh i don't think i can handle trying to get another cosplay ready rn#the only exception would be maybe doing eevee 1.0 or 2.0 bc have everything except the wigs for those ready bc of eevee 3.0#totoro is friday bc my friends and i are doing a ghibli group!!#i wish i had a different ghibli cosplay just bc i've done totoro so much but i do love totoro and she's easy and comfy so that'll be nice#sorry shutting up now i need to go to bed i have WORK TOMORROW#cries#i should start taking off the whole week of convention lol#(no i shouldn't i should just get back in the habit of getting my cosplays done early and not con crunching -.-)
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Thank u God. Today is a better day so far.
Also please pray for me. I got laid off from my job, and my old boss is trying to recommend me to a new one, but I don’t know the new people or have their contact info. Please pray someone gets back to me soon and I don’t stay out of work for too long, and that my new job won’t burn me out too badly.
#blue chatter#I might be able to actually get smth done today#I rested LOTS yesterday#and going to DND helped#I think I need some more social time with friends to help with the Encroaching Sadness Void#while still giving myself time to rest and sleep#bc I’m constantly tired#but I’m doing laundry which is a lot of work for me rn#so everyone be proud of me#mayb I’ll ask Lemony to do a productivity call with me tonight#I know I don’t have to finish my methods section bc I got an extension#but I still want to get as much done as I can#and I still have research methods to work on#I have neuroscience coloring to do by tomorrow morning#and I have ASL tomorrow and I missed ASL yesterday so I need to catch up on that as well#Blegh#taking half a day off sure causes a lot of homework#but I am getting laundry done!
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