#but not rn bc I need to work some
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me when the @tavernfest round 14 was announced: ohh maybe I can finish my cute caountryside fluffy knights art
me today: oh... the theme could also work for a gangbang 🤔🧠
two wolves yadda yadda XD
#moss text#but not rn bc I need to work some#and go out for a walk before complete dark#but it's in the backburner#unless sanremo brainrot spreads faster#eh#life of an artist is complicated#drawing log
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Yeah a teaser dropping on ST day would be cool. But can we agree that a DNA board reveal would be infinitely better?
#byler#stranger things#st5 predictions#st5 dna board#yes I know a dna board reveal doesn’t qualify as like major promo since most fans want something visual and real#and so it’s likely we’ll get a teaser regardless#which is great#but I’m just imagining the rest of the day being subpar in terms of stuff for us to actually analyze outside of the teaser#they released the s4 dna board during lockdown and a couple months before they even finished writing it#so s5’s board is definitely finalized by now#and it would cost them nothing…#well i mean technically it could cost them everything 😭#it’s just a matter of how on the nose they were about some of the titles it features#and if they’re willing to risk sharing that at this time when there’s still a year until release#i could see a decent amount of films on it being incriminating on so many different fronts#but I could also see some super random stuff in the mix that would distract people from reading into the incriminating stuff#it’s just something that could actually keep us busy analyzing for a while#a teaser would be everything we need rn#but the dna list is what I actually want 😭#i’ve been working on my own st5 dna board wishlist bc I’m so impatient for this#i’m gonna post it tomorrow#it’s time#and in the case they do reveal the dna board next week I want to have mine ready to see if there are any matches#i’ve also been working on my st5vision playlist for nearly 2 years now (jesus) and it’s time to share that too#soon!!
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watch it all go by
#undescribed#bonk.png#ggg#great god grove#ggg oc#great god grove oc#<- so excited to learn these tags exist btw i like being able to view others ocs easier#oc tag#YEAH so heres most of the bizzyboy home invasion skit for their psa for the fake level (theres more i just dont feel like drawing it rn v-v)#im gonna reblog with the sketchbook doodles i did to sort of map it out in a second but its oc time rn#cooked up how to rework them into the story while i was at work n also did initial designs for them there as well (will also refrog with it)#this is NOT all the ocs for the fake level theres four i still need to redesign n draw bc i want some cleaner art n easier way to fuck with#propositions for them lacey gets to be in the post tho bc i had a lot of fun doing her design n that spread in my sketchbook 👍#also timeline that sketchbook spread was done after i got home from work at like 3 am n then i did britney spears cobbi the next day#while all the digital art was done today#caption is again line from write me letters by hot freaks
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Never getting over Fulcrum being a project manager...
Idk why, but something about that is so funny to me. Not just because the title of "project manager" is inherently kinda funny for a Decepticon, but also because-
1. It's vague sounding and hard to explain irl because it technically exists in multiple fields, like healthcare or manufacturing, which surely translates into canon in some way.
2. In canon, it's simultaneously a really mundane, innocuous sounding job, yet it's also a super morally awful position to reside over depending on the context. (*cough* forced colonization and cyberforming *cough*)
And 3. It solidifies the fact that behind all the surface level militaristic work we get with both the Decepticons and Autobots, there's also Cons and Bots with "normal" jobs in both factions.
Like, sure yeah we get scientists and doctors, engineers and programmers, but usually in big important or warfront positions. (For plot reasons, understandably.) But it's also really funny and interesting to think of those that worked background positions, or minor jobs.
Like an Autobot working in their equivalent of an HR department, or a Decepticon who runs one of their outpost's or starship's kitchens.
Just all the pre-war jobs that didn't just disappear with the war, but instead evolved to exist within the factions.
It's particularly funny with the Decepticons though, because it could be a super mundane job or situation, but because it's them, it has to have an air of ~e v i l~ to it, either legitimately and/or merely for the vibes, like Tarn's "performance reviews".
#theres this one comedy thing. a think its from that like. puppet comedian dude??? cant remember the name rn-#-buts theres a bit about a person in the crowd being a project manager and how silly the job sounds#at some point the person the project manager is with gets pointed out when the comedian asks smth along the lines of-#-''is he a project you're managing? he looks pretty managed to me.'' smth smth. thats fulcrum and the scavs to me#idw fulcrum#fulcrum#mtmte#tf idw#idw tarn#tarn#transformers#maccadam#Decepticons being cartoonishly evil while doing mundane shit will never not be funny to me#'i need to send an evil email to my evil boss about an evil supply chain issue involving my evil workers evil rations and evil mail'#<- fulcrum#sorry. yes he is a tragic yet simultaneously silly guy. but i will never not shut up about his stupid awful job#''he's a project manager!'' oh yay :D! ''he's overseeing the destruction and forced cyberformation of a whole planet'' ...what#not saying he deserved being turned into a bomb. but i think a solid uhh maybe 1000+ organics get a free chance to spit on him or smth#get his ass lmao. i swear hes one of my favs. its just he is objectively an asshole. and i must speak on it bcs i love him#sort of unrelated. but along the same vein of jobs and positions in the Decepticons. ive been trying to puzzle out Krok and Fulcrum's ranks#and. it might not be accurate. idk what sort of ranking system bullshit is going on in canon. so im going off what i know#but. im figuring krok was some sort of warrant-esque officer? aka. he was a general solider. who worked his way up through skill to NCO-#-then specialized in strategy to the point of becoming a warrant officer for strategy and studies. so. higher than NCO but lower than CO#so on the other hand. fulcrum is a CO. bcs he wasnt a solider. he was a technician. but also in advanced management. so. CO???#for irl comparison. NCO/Warrant = worked towards over time from low ranks. CO = fast tracked bcs of formal education or smth#(take the irl comparison with a grain of salt. im not an expert on that shit. i just considered becoming a CO bcs of pressure once)#((CO in this context stands for commissioned officer. not commanding officer btw. so. its like management shit))#(not that i think cons have commissions or anything. just using the terminology as a place holder or smth ig)#who outranks who is debatable bcs canon doesn't specify rank. but if going off this as a basis. fulc would outrank krok by a technicality#but. assumedly. battle experience is seen as more impressive and noteworthy to cons. so its more likely krok outranked fulc bcs of that
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#hi im j here 2 talk . saw this cow yday so i drew her and now u get 2 say hi#but omffgg my gd i dont know if any of u relate but i feel like my ability to socialize w others#specifically online and speciifically in interest-circles has gotten so much harder for no reason whatsoever#like im just becoming more self conscious ab how i portray myself and its so weird bc like . LIKEE I DONT KNOW like . ok#people r super njce . always super nice and reach out to me and talk w me or i reach out first and they respond and r soo sweet#and something happens in my brain where like . i feel like im suddenly like . inserting myself where i dont belong (not true) but why am i#the bus driver all of a sudden . in all of these situations . me when i just show up like hey#i think i j feel annoying >__< . and i dont want to bother other people but said people r literally never bothered ykwim like Will Reach Out#and im the one that pulls back but 4 no reason . i cant even think ab why i do that .why am i doing this 🧨#so many ppl i want to genuinely befriend in all of these spaces but im self sabotaging soo frwaking bad#literally rn thinking of some dms i left on read bc i panicked or mutuals ive talked w before who im nervous 2 be familiar w . hrmm#anyways . i kind of wish i had the ability 2 just talk to new people and not actually gaf ab the outcome#HELPP .. early tmblr or wcf or devart where u have thirty million friends 2 now where u r too scared 2 say hi to an almost friend .#me problem though . if not alr clear HEJAHHAAHA i think part of my reluctance also stems from the fact that i know i get this way#and so i dont want 2 rope someone else into that insecurity so i try to keep it at an arms length until i fix it#but i think i also know its a longer & more introspective thing to work on so i do need to just try anyways
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I'm REALLY busy with work rn BUT that doesn't stop me from falling into GF rabbit hole because THAT BOOK....
It feels like 2015 again wow
#Internet here is BAD but eh#Basically I'm working at summer camp rn and it's.... Yeah#26 kids and 2 of us and there's like 4 groups like that#Anyway that's where I've been#I'm still processing end of MHA too#So it helps!#ANYWAY#gravity falls#bill cipher#the book of bill#the book of bill spoilers#Kinda!#sketch#my art#fanart#I literally took my phone and did this bc THIS BOOK#I honestly didn't think how much I needed it until I read it#Like I did have some headcanons and stuff and Flat Dreams left it's mark! But THIS? this scratched an itch I didn't remember existing#Like it WAS there but I forgot about it#It's cool#Phew anyway back to no-internet land
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“they had something” and it’s gihun and frontman ?? im sick
#THEY HAD WHAT? CUS ITS CERTAINLY NOT ENEMIES TO LOVERS#people would ship two brain - eating amoebaes if they were somehow male#and that’s exactly what’s in their fucking heads. it’s the same way fyozai makes no sense to me#a ship doesn’t need to be good for it to work and characters esp ENEMIES should always have some kind of chemistry and understanding of#each other. because that’s what makes it good WITHOUT#ROMANCE. but what i’m tired of it opening any platform and seeing every male relationship (non romantic meaning) boiled down#old man yaoi ….. you’re sick. you’re actually sick like ?!!!!:£:73!:/&/83&&:£: HELLOOOOOOO#HELLOOOOOOOOO#idc it doesn’t make sense to me like call me a hater but im like ??? y’all could have shipped him with jungbae. but you won’t bcs he’s not#attractive to you …. like i’ll say it once and shout it again im sick#it’s the same fucking thing with alien stage man like it was created by two lesbians and has to women front and centre to kick it all off#and the main character is a woman and yet its a BL? KYS#i’m tired. like i don’t hate shipping but im tired of predicting that people will yaoi-ify anything#two ants are looking at each other rn over a crumb of bread and someone would say they’re star crossed#that ant will give up the crumb for his love bcs he needs it more or some shit#yawn. anyway rant over but tldr shit makes no sense to me anymore and it i see one more gihun and frontman edit im propelling myself#into traffic. in front of the person who made it#like some people just can’t let things be non romantic and it’s ??????? sometimes it’s better when it’s not#like not romantic i mean. sometimes things are better when they aren’t trying to fuck each other#the amount of typos can u tell im irritated HDJSJSJSJS#i try not to let this shit bother me but atp it’s all i see. i don’t want jayvik or gihunfrontman smut on my timelines grandpa im tired
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alright, friends, it's time for a lil heart-to-heart.
for quite a while now, i've struggled with feeling like the rpc is an actual community. there's a few things that contribute to this feeling, but it mostly comes down to a lack of interaction and visible interest. sometimes i feel very one-sided in my interest and attachment to my mutuals bc when i see their ooc posts or headcanons, i like them or comment, yet this isn't reciprocated by everyone. i can usually guess who i'm about to see in my notifications, and to be absolutely clear, i'm very grateful for those people!! it's a handful or two of you, but it could be just one and i'd be grateful. it's not about numbers whatsoever but rather growing uncomfortable that not all of my mutuals are all that interested in my character or me.
i write on here to share the excitement of creating with other people. i write on here to create together, too, but i'm also here to share characters and ideas and lore with people i know are happy to hear me ramble. i'm just getting to the point in which i'm questioning how many of you are actually happy to listen, and that's just not a good feeling at all. i'm not a mind reader, y'all. if you don't tell or show me that you care about the things i talk about or even about interacting, there's no way for me to know. eventually, i'm going to question why you're following me if i never see or hear from you, and eventually, i'm going to softblock and move on. that's the only way forward i see right now because i just do not feel comfortable on my own blog. i feel like i'm retreating into this quiet bubble to avoid discomfort, and it really sucks. it's killing my muse.
i'm not perfect. none of us are, and we can't be online at all times to catch every little post. but if we're a community, then we should be supporting each other when we can and liking headcanons, liking/commenting on those lil ooc posts that remind us our writing partners are humans with lives outside this site, reblogging their promo posts, sending in that meme they've reblogged even if we're nervous to reach out first -- if we're a roleplaying community, then we need to act like it. " community " implies connection, and a connection doesn't really begin when you follow each other. it begins when you reach out, even if it's in some small way.
tldr: i think we can all do better to support our mutuals and to connect, and i'm going to softblock people rather than continue to feel unsure where i stand with my mutuals. i won't start until sometime next week, and i won't make one of those " like this to remain mutuals " posts. they're not helpful to me, if i'm honest. if you're worried, just reach out. i'm literally a 4'9'' gremlin who sleeps with a m.unchlax plushie -- i promise i'm not scary despite this post uvu
#if i reread this one more time my head will explode asdfg so i'm done and hitting post#i need to stress though i'm very thankful for the people i have connected with in small and big ways <3 it means a lot to me#but i've been told bottling things up isn't a great idea so it's time i was just honest#also i’ve felt like this for a long time#so it’s not the time of year bc i know everyone gets busy during the holidays#i’m just feeling frustrated and tired bc in some instances my efforts do feel one-sided and this hobby is supposed to be an escape#rn it’s not such a great escape for me. i’m trying to be honest so that can change#i’m trying overall to reshape this blog a little in how i run it bc i want us all to have fun and feel seen#that means creating boundaries and being honest and trying new methods so that i don’t get overwhelmed and can actually write and chat#with everyone that i’d like to write and chat with uvu#alright……. i think that’s it after i’ve rambled in the tags asfhjk#i’ll queue this and a bunch of other stuff later when i’ve got time#for now i gotta finish getting ready for work — pls have a lovely day everyone!#get ready to ramble | ooc
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19.11.23, sunday
I listened to Succession soundtrack a lot today and had about the most productive day I’ve had in so so long
things done today:
7h of coding
went to my sister’s kid’s birthday party (mario theme 🍄)
#even tho during the first 4 hours it was me slowly realizing that I had configured/set up my one project wrong somehow#and I’m so far gone with it now that idk how to rly fix it other than starting again and trying to speedrun all I’ve done so far#aka the 50hours I’ve spent on it#but i’m hoping I’ll get it to function by just fucking around with adding some files & paths manually (i doubt that’ll work)#that’s a big yikes that I would not have time for#but I’ve done enough to get a grade out of that course but rn it’d be 3/5 and I want 5/5 bc it’s an easy course to get that from#and god knows I need to do everything in my power to raise my gpa#studyblr#bookblr#booklr#aesthetic#books#study#reading#read#book#dark academia#chaotic academia#november 2023#2023
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awkward way to have a convo but okay
[plain inks below cut]
#art#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#oc#a dollar and 75 cents#pose i've had stuck in my head for a hot minute with side effects like Radiation Poisoning so i have to dispel and now the effects are just#like. a little bit that way kfjsshfvh#//anyway got this all done today isn't that sick !! think you can tell from the lack of cleaned lines for some spots and the Confusing#things but yea :D#//also i meant to work on a totally different canvas than this but uhhh this happened somehow lmao#Also i Do try to do fanart sometimes i'm being so honest right now. because i think things are cool more often than i lead people to think#UT i'm super bad at staying on task so i always end up drawing completely unrelated ocs. it's like a superpower Jhfsjfvsj#This Time though i can blame the really bad brain fog though :33 i forgot. i thought. i did something else. ceaser said that i believe#//but anyway yea these two.. definitely got a thing [energetic but vague gesturing] goin on. don't like whatever it is bc it's funkin with#my brain chemicals in a jazzy way and i can't take more psychic damage from them rn dude i've already got the worse-than-usual brain fog bu#Yea hfsjfhbvhsgjf#/why isn't vernor here? because she's a well-adjusted and routinely concerned party she doesn't need the extra trauma thank you Jfsjfvbhsf#i'm gonna give her a tea party though. she's earned it#gonna be the kind with tap water and ice cube tea cakes But! it Is a tea party lmfsvhfh#//anyway Yeaaaah i'm sleepy tired now. sigh!#wanted to finish this movie i have here and then rewatch tangled but i now just want to sleep. there's to-OH tomorrow's saturday let's go#but YEA i gotta sleep. fingers crossed i do that hfshvhf#and yepyeayee Toodles !! night :3 :D
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well. i need to yell about it somewhere. listen. Amanda Lehan Canto on newest season of Um Actually. Ify hosting. BDG hosting with Ify!!!!!!! Fucking. WILD.
#this is when i reveal that ive accidentally gone down a DEEPLY gay rabbit hole about the smosh women in my cr hiatus#but also this new season looks SO goood!!!!!! BRIAN AND IFY CO HOSTING. WILDIN. i will miss u trapp and michael but !!!#not cr#dropout#god i need to figure out my dropout tagging on this blog sorry#um actually#brian david gilbert#ify nwadiwe#...#amanda lehan canto#at some point i should maybe make a spread of sideblogs. but that day is not today#also. yes. amanda lehan canto on dropout. god im having an out of body experience at work rn from sheer excitement#im SO thrilled and also so curious what the episode topic is bc. my impression os that damien and amanda's knowledge sets do NOT overlap#v much
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I'm keeping this somewhat on a back burner because I think I need more data, but I feel like a current boundary being tested in actual play, for TTRPGs that are, for lack of a better way to put it, party-based and ostensibly heroic, is exploring in-game whether the PCs might be the bad guys or even just neutral guys who are not up to the task. (For this reason, "evil" campaigns do not count here, since those aren't about exploring it as a possibility but instead are simply stating that's the situation - I'm looking for the doubt and realization).
I feel like fans (and some GMs and players) get really skittish about this as a possibility, which is unfortunate because it's one of the most interesting things you can do.
#the best example i can think of offhand is sean finnerty tbh#like it feels some GMs and players are willing to play with it#but even then it's so often in places where consequences are lessened (bcbp and trinyvale come to mind)#and granted. this needs REALLY solid table discussion and agreement beforehand#AND it requires a LOT of GM work re: the enemy#i need to find like. actual play scholars somewhere bc i feel the two big trends rn are#1. more editing/production/removal from the table (which i think is bad)#and 2. this (which i think is good)#oh god. do i have to try to watch kollok. i don't really want to but i feel like i should to be informed.
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finally downloading the footage from my interview with the kids in the hall at the rivoli and long story short get someone who looks at you the way mark looks at scott here
#the person who sent over the footage for some reason only sent over this camera angle which is fine#like ik we have the wide shot of all of them somewhere and i don't need it right this minute#but since we're working on another trailer rn i find it funny imagining that mark is the only other kith in the trailer lmao#like i went through all the effort of interviewing them all but nope you're only getting the scott and mark camera angle#the fact that kevin and bruce are sitting next to them is the plot twist lmao#also i fully don't remember like 90% of this interview lmao. i remember most of the solo ones but that weekend was so busy#all i remember is 1. they are aware of the zack and cody ''crushing your head'' bit (that was a tangent lmao)#and 2. me sassing scott bc he wouldn't stop talking about the wicked press tour ''holding space'' video when we were about to start#god i hope we got that on camera lmao
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Does anyone have any tips to help stop yourself from comparing your artwork to others, or equating your value as an artist with likes and reblogs?
I've struggled with this for a while and it's getting old, I don't know how to just shrug it off. Any genuine advice would be nice
#its just bygging me bc i know rationally they dont matter i knoe they dont#but i still feel it in my bones that im not good enough because my work doesnt circulate on platforms#i paint for fun and then i post and i get these feelings and theyre so goddamn annoying#i know to just keep posting anyway and try to enjoy the ride but my Depression Brain is such an asshole#i wish it would be quiet#i never used to feel this way either until likes and reposts/reblogs became so integral to social media#on top of needing commissions to get by while looking for work and attending school soon#idk maybe this is just a vent and ik no one can Fix it that simply#i guess im just speaking 2 the void rn and maybe others feel the same#*bugging#and i really am so grateful just to know anyone likes it or comments on it and reading feedback really really means so much#but i feel like unless im pumping out specific fandom stuff that doesnt really happen#but the negative thoughts and feelings can b rly strong sometimes and im just tired#im sure this is a depression thing too#hoping i can get into therapy thru school but it depends on finances as everything else in this world does 🫠#ill keep going tho#and please if you are someone who does comment or reblog and say something about the work please do not ever stop#it means so much to me and others im positive it does#i see you and i appreciate you so so much#thank you and thank you to anyone who reads or comments some ideas
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god why am i so fucking stupid. having adhd is truly a curse and i hate bearing it
#not to vent on main but. fml actually!#in my health assessment lab we had this case study assignment to do and i freaking. misunderstood all of it so bad#idk why but for some reason i thought we were supposed to make up a patient ourselves for it#…we were not#no :) we were not :) there’s a freaking. TEMPLATE for the exact patient we were supposed to do it on in the module#that i opened once and then forgot about because adhd just works like that#and now im literally . kmsing because we fucking . we fucking presented these orally in class#and i was only half paying attention bc i was (incorrectly) documenting my (made-up) patient information on the record#and i thought it was weird that like 2 or 3 people seemed to have VERY similar patients but did not question it further#…which is to say. i may be stupid.#and now i feel like dying because im gonna have to email my professor and TELL HER how stupid i am#and hope that she takes enough pity on me and my cursed brain to let me do it over properly#because my lab grade is now barely a 77 and i need a 75 to pass. and our final assessment is tomorrow.#i genuinely cannot live like this anymore im serious#i need a fucking brain transplant#anyway tl;dr guys please pray for me please please please im actually disintegrating rn#to delete later
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also I guess this is just an observation
but what is it with some pixel art games being so low contrast... I was finally going to give in and try out a farming sim lots of ppl enjoy despite the portrait art being not entirely to my tastes and then the pixels and environment are sooooo low contrast it made me change my mind again....like you do not have to be scared of dark colors and borders. Outlines. Smile.
#it reminds me of how i can never use any stardew furniture/clothing/hair mods bc theyre always so low contrast#to match the equally low contrast pastel environment recolors that the modders assume youre also using#FoM is full of pastel furniture (for example) and they werent scared to add um Outlines and Borders. thank god.#but this is my point again like this wouldnt be an issue if we had moreeee of these games#well wait not true#i keep saying that bc more of them = theres gotta be some among them that turn out good#but everyone says the genre is oversaturated rn and it is true and we only have like 2 good games in the past 10 yrs lmfao#nvm. my ''we just need more of these games so it doesnt matter if some are bad if we have many good ones'' argument doesnt work#bc like where are the good ones....#ok evilposting over. i love pixel art game i prefer it to Non pixel where the art style can#be very polarizing i feel pixel has a more universal potential....but im still very picky with pixel art style.#talkys#i guess this rant was more abt farming games.....i just want more escapism games for cheye PLEASE
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