#but my clothes are are masculine androgynous
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I dressed androgynous because I like the clothing. I've always been nonbinary. But that's not why I dress androgynous. In fact, I don't really dress that 'androgynous'. I don't believe in feminine and masculine clothing, so I don't believe that I'm wearing anything that a woman or a man couldn't.
My clothes aren't the reason I'm nonbinary, Jesus fucking Christ.
I realized I was nonbinary when I was in like, 4th grade. The pronouns people were using for me were always just incorrect. It felt like a lie, and it was untrue. Because I am nonbinary, and not the gender that was forced on me as a child.
Nobody is saying that you aren't your gender because you don't wear the clothes assigned to them. In fact, when I wear skirts and makeup, the people that assume that I'm a girl are always transphobes, and the people who are skeptical if I'm 'really nonbinary' because I wear those clothes, ARE TRANSPHOBES.
Trans people do not believe that clothes make up your gender.
Trans people commonly wear clothes that they weren't allowed to wear as a kid because it's fucking freeing. But it's not related to gender
I fucking hate stereotypes. I think more people should dress in whatever fucking style they want no matter their gender.
I am not nonbinary because I wear androgynous clothes.
seeing women come out as nonbinary and then start just dressing a certain way. and I just want to tell them that you can not shave and have short hair and not wear makeup and wear androgynous clothes and still be a woman. and the fact that people are trying to sell you the idea that you can’t look that way and still be a woman is misogynistic
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Feeling aesthetic today, so you get a rare appearance of an Oni before and after a little dinner and mini concert (focused on folk dance music which was a DELIGHT) with my workplace bestie Tia eueb
Tia’s mentioned before that I look better in more masculine/androgynous clothing and tbh girl on to something ✨✨✨👌🏼
#life of an oni#Selfie#My dad gave me two of his flat caps and a bitch really made two whole outfits based on them
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fellas can a soft butch have bangs and a messy rolled-out-of-bed bob because their face shape and hair type don't really suit shorter more "butch" hair?
#i see butches with shoulder length or long kinda one length hair all the time#and im like hell yeah#i see all the variations of short hair butch#but i've just had bangs my whole life and i feel so naked without them#and ive tried to have the mullets and the grown out pixies#but i just feel ugly with those cuts#i hate that bangs and bobs are seen as “feminine” or at least the feminine version of having short hair#and look i obviously logically agree that any gay person and any straight person and anyone in between can have whatever hair and style the#want and call themselves whatever they want#but sometimes i hate that im perceived as more feminine solely because of my hairstyle#but my clothes are are masculine androgynous#and i don't really wear makeup.
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yk i genuinely don't think ive ever been able to actually express my gender dysphoria out loud to another person cos with my family they'll get uncomfortable or think im somehow bragging bc i have the misfortune of a hyperfeminine body, with therapists im always trying not to say smth that makes me sound too self hating to get letters written, and with other trans people i don't want to upset them. idk writing it down just feels like im cataloguing everything that's wrong with me but I don't think ill ever have anyone i can talk to about it either
#i guess i got lucky in some ways with PCOS and my face is androgynous#but just even besides my weight my body type itself is just. not doing me any favors when it comes to passing#maybe if i was skinny i could deal with it or fat with an otherwise masculine body but both just feels very insurmountable#like ive just never seen a cis man that looks anything like me even guys that r the same weight#hell even trans men never look like me#idk maybe t will help with it longterm and at the end of the day it is what it is. like i don't have to like my body to be kind to myself#been considering lipo with top surgery too bc i just#i don't even have the typical pcos body type that is a little more masculine#like ugh. realistically ik i always cover myself head to toe anyways and that nobody is rlly looking that hard#in most photos if im dressed well i just look like a guy with wide hips. most strangers who've seen photos of me#assumed i was cis esp with clothes that diminish the hips#but i wish i could look at myself naked and not be utterly disgusted and alienated at almost all my features is all#ik itll get better with top surgery and i do have things i like like my shoulders and calves#but man just. i know i am not the first to express this but being a 5'3 fat man with an hourglass figure is not fun!#they literally do not make mens pants in my size 😭 at least not ones i can go try on in a store#i would just really like to kill the transphobe in my head mostly. or at least show his ugly ass to somebody else.
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My gender identity and sense of style are in a fucking fistfight
#I wanna throw out all my fem/androgynous clothes#but I think if I medically transitioned I'd wear most of them again#but I don't have the storage space for them#lemme tell ya if I looked like a man I would not bother with this big-t-shirt-and-gym-shorts thing I'm doing 24/7 rn#but I look like a treechange doll! so I mus actively perform masculinity for people to Get It.#I can't even bring myself to wear my favourite corduroy pants rn#as if corduroy pants are inherently feminine in any way#my last partner always referred to my style as 'librarian' and that made me wanna die#but#only because I interpreted that as Woman Librarian#because they weren't wrong at all!#I've got nothing against Librarians wft is wrong with me#... ah. it's That.
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Leftovers gone bad (Patreon)
#Doodles#Just Desserts#Villainsona#Still vent-like! Helped put my head in order anyhow so - helpful :)#Sweet Coffee to lower Charm's anxieties hehe <3 Who could have ever guessed how accurate he'd be!#I really do need to sit down and give everyone names he deserves one! He's only ever had the one name (not Coffee lol)#His first attempt wasn't great lol way to intentionally misinterpret his meaning Charm#It's hard to be positive in that kind of mindset but he's trying to help!#Coffee does also have foot-in-mouth syndrome tho so there's that lol#Doesn't Try to minimize or callously redirect he really does try his best he's just still a bit clumsy haha#This was never his practice! He's always been a troublemaker of a kind!#He's just getting his practice in haha#Oh yeah and he gets a new outfit since I was offline while drawing him pft#He's always been androgynous he's allowed to have the clasps on the other side - even if it does make him off-model lol#He's always had masculine closures on his clothes now that I think of it....I think? Might need to go through his backlog actually#Then again I'm talking about the character he used to be and not necessarily who he is now lol - moving character from fandom to fandom#ANYway lol#Isn't this supposed to be about Charm or something who's the main character again pft#Charm's canonical least favourite feeling is feeling foolish! It's The Feeling that makes her seek out the Staff#But! She's (trying to be) reformed! So that's not really an option! Doesn't make the feeling go away tho#She carries the same response with her since she hasn't figured out how to healthfully respond to it#So anything that creates That Feeling is scary! She doesn't have an out! Feels cornered - and that stress adds to it#What if This Thing makes her feel That Way when she doesn't want to! She /wants/ to trust and love and be happy and healthy#But the precedent#Reminding her that she doesn't have to repeat her actions just because it Feels a certain way is important!#It's not something you have to run away from or lash out against - it hurts but it's momentary#Promise :)
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I think… I have figured out the reason I never get gendered as a guy anymore and it’s making me have…. A lot of really complex feelings
#most of my life I’ve been VERY androgynous#and ever since I cut off all of my hair when I was 16 and started dressing in men’s clothes#I tended to get gendered as a man or woman p equally by strangers#(until I talked because my voice tends to be a give away which is a whole other thing I have Thoughts about but that’s a different issue)#but in the past oh… idk… six months or so? I literally NEVER get gendered as a guy#it has happened ONCE#like sure ppl will ask for my pronouns but I know that’s just cuz I look like stereotypical genderqueer afab person#it’s not cuz they can’t tell what my gender is…#and I’ve been wondering what’s so different. why don’t I ever get gendered as a man anymore#I haven’t changed how I dress I still have a masculine haircut most of the time my facial features obviously haven’t changed#SO WHAT DID#I… I’ve figured it out….#I’ve gained weight. but only in my hips and thighs#all my pants that I’ve had for YEARS are suddenly too tight and too small around my hips and thighs#I’ve NEVER had curves anywhere before I was always stuck straight and now… I do#and like part of me wants to be happy. I’m gaining weight!!! I’ve always been so horrendously underweight#and I’ve battled severe disordered eating for so long that was the cause#this past year I’ve actually very steadily been eating three meals a day instead of one#I can eat whole portions without getting sick#and I’m really proud of myself for that like I’m def not upset I’m gaining weight#it’s just. it’s just that it’s literally all in my hips and thighs#and it’s giving me a more feminine figure which I’ve NEVER had before#and I know your body goes through more changes in your twenties and that’s probably part of it too#it’s just. I don’t want this. I don’t like this.#I haven’t felt genuinely dysphoric in a long time and now I want to crawl out of my skin whenever I look in a full body mirror#cuz I see it now. I see the change. and I just. do Not fucking Like It#but I can’t do anything about it 😭#and idk what to do#ugh#kaz rambles
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none of u are ready for the roleswap im cookin up
#mun art.#the different names are because i figured starline was unlikely to use their real names#id have liked to revert to surge and kit's 'real' names to highlight the difference but. lmao. dont know what those are#yes rascal is a ref to rosy rascal. it just made sense#lets see what else....design notes....#my first few sketches i did of rose at work pulled more from surge's concept art and i liked a lot of it#but very little looked like AMY yknow#so i pulled in other elements from previous amy designs that were punkier#particularly her sonic the comic stuff#i abandoned most of creams clothing colour scheme cos i wanted it 2 be really obvious that she was Built and Designed to echo ames#the jacket shes wearing is one of amy's! cream prefers big jackets she can hide inside#doesnt like feeling Exposed. very nervous#i wanted 2 keep surge and kits basic colours / etc but make them feel like Designed if that makes sense#like more casual. not built 2 be heroes just ppl who hang out#surge is still a lil punky and more masc / androgynous when compared 2 ames which was important to me#i didnt want to just swap em and make surge feminine while amy gets masculine#amys still feminine! just a punkier version! etc#personals do NOT interact w this ill EAT YOU#i wanna put a Cleaner version of this on my art blog eventually#but i wanted 2 share this asap cos im having so much rotating them in my brain
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I'm convinced the people who are still whining about the avatar update on every Pokémon GO post just suck at slightly more advanced customization.
#If your female avatar looks masculine or androgynous that's on you boo#Play with the sliders; use clothes that accentuate the hips and bust; and use feminine poses#If I can make my avatar feminine-presenting without having spent a cent on cosmetics then surely you can too with your $250 worth#I actually like my new avatar better#She's s t a c k e d instead of just skinny#Put the shoulders on minimum; crank up the chest and hips; and use the hip pop pose#Problem solved#Pokémon GO
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idk who needs to hear this but you can transition. right now. anyone can be transgender.
#transition not in the normal sense but as 'realize a transgender gender identity'. sorry it just fit better.#this is *kinda* about transition-transition too because in the context (below) it's true but i know many people cannot physically transitio#the way they wish to because of disability or other circumstances#inspirational#motivational#trans#i'm watching an older video from a channel new to me and they (2 people) used to look like women and now they look more androgynous and lik#I can do that! how i look now does not determine or limit my future possible looks!#i can cut off my hair or wear different makeup or change my clothes if i want to!#i guess though they're wearing typical women makeup in the video. i can't stop wearing woman makeup if i don't wear makeup :(#oh well. i must remember that anyone can transition! right now!#sometimes i look in the mirror like 'my face is masculinizing like i'm on T' but it's just my perception of it <3#i said this#delete later out of controversy fear tbh
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i do think its a bit funny that for years i was like im not butch or transmasc i just need facial hair and a penis or ill die. like.
#its because i like dressing fun and unfortunately i associated masculinity w boring clothes#but once i realized i can be butch and still wear punk clothes. like i think i dress more androgynous than masc but frankly#if a cis man dressed like me i wouldnt question it.#i do wear skirts sometimes tbh but tbh thats mostly because. i already own them. and im not rlly comfortable wearing#any of my old miniskirts anymore i mostly only wore them for cosplay anyway#im def the least masc of the butches i know but its all a spectrum anyway. like my collar has lace on it and my packer is massive.#poison.txt
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bought some new clothes 2day woo (not buying new clothes for the next 3 years probably
#kosms#and got new belts#and I just realized that. yeah#I can't bear being cute no matter how much I like the clothes. cries#I can only wear a skirt if it makes me look like a goth girl#with my very much unshaved legs and military style boots#otherwise I can only dress masculine#or at the very least androgynously
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I have discovered that my jean jacket is the secret to passing. I’ve been misgendered quite a bit recently when I thought that I was doing quite well with being identified as male in public by strangers. Then I thought back and realized that every single time I had been ID’d as male in public it was when I was wearing that jean jacket, which leads me to believe that I just need to get a more masculine winter coat.
#not that my winter coat is actually feminine it’s pretty androgynous#but I guess i need to wear more blatantly masculine clothes to offset my petite figure
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I dress masculine but my face so baby doll -o-;
#rant#this is a mini rant about just like. sometimes i just wished i looked masc or butch but i really just. dont to strangers ever#i wear all mens clothes from the mens section but still look 'cutesy' because my face is my face#if i wear makeup i like eyeliner so i never look super femme since#i cant do contouring and lipstick normally so i dont unless lurposely going hyper femme like with a lolita fashion coord#or a barbie malibu photoshoot or something. even when i dress in pastels most of my pastel rainbow stuff is#from the mens section. but my face is just. baby. i have a flat chest but it doesnt make difference#iwear baggy clothes to hide my hourglass curve but even thay doesnt seem to matter#ive cut my hair 1 inch long and that never mattered. i like my hair short so its like chin length now but lol#while i love guys with my length hair i just. do not read as guy to ppl. and i dont want to masculine contour my face#cause 1. i fail quite bad at xontours 2. i hate coverup and most makeup im just not the kinda perskn that wears much makeup if any#wearing more makeup makes me feel more femme especially coverup and contour#idk just. i been thinking how i dress in 95% masc clothes (unless im wearing a purposeful dress up lolita coord or goth dress i like)#and to my family and strangers i just read Usual Babydoll Face girly mejo???#i... i have no solution to it not that i necessarily like need one. then also like sometimes u wanna look androgynous#but i already xombine masc and feminine presentation choices with makeup and masc clothes#or masc clothes with some bright colors like pink since i love pastels#jt just. doesnt end up working much. i mean it makes me happy but to a stranger i just dont read as androynous
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I’ve been told to make this caption from one of my photos (yes this is me in the photo). I have no control over any of this, I’ve been told what tags to use and how long the post is to be pinned to the top of my page. 😥
The post is up for three months (until June 8) and I am scared about how long I’ll get!!
P-p-please be nice. I d-d-don’t want my life ruined!! 😭😭😭
Update. If this post hits 100 REBLOGS I have to get a larger plug and dildo.
Update 2. You are all mean (specially @count-alta with your 20-odd reblogs)😤😭😭 I now have to get a larger plug and dildo. If it gets to 300 REBLOGS then I have to make a Discord server to show that I am in fact wearing the cage and plug 😭😭😭😭 this is getting both out of control and expensive
Update 3. It hasn’t even been a week. 😢😢 I’ve been instructed to add note milestones. I’ve only been given a couple for now but more will be added if any of you suggest something my dominant likes.
Update 4. I’m back from a brief hiatus from Tumblr while I settled into a new job, and I discovered that this post really took off. I now have to make discord (coming soon) and I’ve been given a new Reblog MILESTONE. If this post reaches 500 Reblogs I will have to start HRT. If it hits 1000 Reblogs then I have to find a man to fuck me on camera 😭😭😭😭. Please be nice.
Update 5: whelp it’s done. My Discord server is live
1500 notes: I have to keep myself hairless from the nose down.
1700 notes: Make an Amazon Wishlist and add 100 toys and clothes for anyone to buy. Anyone who buys them will get a free show with what they bought
1800 notes: my hair must be grown out
2000 notes: I have to resume my BambiSleeps regimen
2500 notes: Practice deepthroating the current sized dildo twice a week
2750 notes: I now have listen to Bambi sleeps every morning, afternoon and night on my days off
3000 notes: Sit on a 7-inch dildo 2 times a week for 30 min
3250 notes: I have to start using she/her pronouns
3500 notes: I have start wearing a bra everyday
3750 notes: Use a large plug now
4000 notes: I have to start an OF (ManyVids and webcamming as well once I find a better living arrangement)
4250: I have to film myself suck cock
4500 notes: i can only ever cum from anal
5000 notes: I can only wear androgynous clothing. Nothing overtly masculine
5100 notes: Sit on an 8-inch dildo 3 times a week for 30 min
5400 notes: Listen to Bambisleep hypno every time I do anal
6000 notes: edge with a Hitachi magic wand for 30 once a week
6500 notes: start using a ball gag whenever I do anal
7100 notes: Once a week I have to film myself anal training and share it to the discord channel
8000 notes: Sit on a 9-inch dildo 4 times a week for 30 min
8500 notes: I must listen to ALL hypno that is sent to me
9000 notes: The Hitachi edging session becomes twice a week
12300 notes: Clicker train myself to get horny to the thought of cock
13200 notes: Use an XL plug now
13500 notes: Only use 10-inch toys from now on sit on it 6 times a week for 30 min, once a week use a 12+ inch toy
15000 notes: I have to get either bottom surgery or an orchiectomy
20000 notes: I have to be spit roasted
25000 notes: I have to be the center of a Blow Bang
32500 notes: I have to be the center of a Gangbang 😳😳😳
#feminine sissy#submisive sissy#beta sissy#sissy tasks#sissifyme#humiliation sissy#permanent feminization#ruin me pls. so fkn hot#ruin my life#forced feminized#naughty sissy#beta sub#feminization hypnosis#feminizationtraining#humiliated sissy#caged chastity#locked in caged#sissy caged#cage slave#sissy and slave#reblog#bambi sleep#bambification#bambisleep#bambi subliminals#bimbo toy#bimbo in training#trans bimbo#trans nsft#trans ns/fw
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my mom at least once a week will just ask me "are you sure you're a guy? you might just be nonbinary...." because she hates men
#-_-#i feel like everyone irl is only comfortable with considering me androgynous even if i look masculine#and also she buys me feminine clothes. in case i change my mind as if im not going on 7 years now
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