#but maybe not idk. its something i avoid.
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i honestly think wild blue yonder might be my least favorite donna episode (its been a while since i revisted season 4 so no promises but... im pretty confident) and whats getting me is its like they pulled the scary parts from stuff like waters of mars and midnight and then took out the things that make those episodes good which is the OTHER PEOPLE
#honestly i thought they were gonna be the midnight monsters somehow. which wouldve been bad so im glad that wasnt it#r.txt#dw#again the fact that i hate the body horror element. which is what i would call it even though i suppose its mild as body horror goes.#but maybe not idk. its something i avoid.#anyway that did not help with my enjoyment#but if it had been a GOOD EPISODE i couldve gotten over it#the cracked skin in waters of mars is very hard for me to look at but its one of the best episodes of the show#im also a hell bent hater btw and i dont think this is similar per se but like i dont tend to like episodes without a lot of characters#and im a bottle episode enjoyer like put those guys in a pressure cooker yes#but do something INTERESTING. and this was not interesting.
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"Oh no, someone's attracted to the aesthetics of my -punk movement but doesn't know the praxis and history behind it like I do--"
OK. Tell them. Make it a teaching moment. Everyone who's in your movement learned the background from somewhere at some point, maybe this is that point for that person. Give them a jumping off point that they can dive into later.
"Oh but I shouldn't be responsible for teaching baby -punks about the history and the how-tos and--"
OK. Then don't tell them. You don't have to be responsible for teaching people with a budding interest in your group the ins and outs and how-tos. That's fair and valid! It can be a lot of work. Someone else will handle it
"But I'm annoyed that they would try to claim to be part of/be interested in my community without knowing all the details that I know after being in it for months/years/decades, they're dumb, they're posers, they're--"
OK. Then don't engage with them, if it's that bad. Maybe someone else will come around and tell them the history, maybe they'll pick it up on their own, maybe they'll just enjoy the fashion elements for awhile.
"But they shouldn't claim to be part of the -punk community if they don't know the--"
I feel like we have a few options here. People can either talk to them, share the history, share the values, share the praxis. Or they can just chase off anyone who even thinks about dipping a toe in their community, and then wonder why it's dying off later down the line.
I dunno, maybe I'm too naive and patient or whatever. But if people are entering your -punk spaces without knowing The Rundown of what you feel they need to know, maybe being nice about it and informing people instead of immediately assuming stupidity and malicious intent could help you make a new friend. Even the loudest voices in a space had to learn from somewhere, and not everyone has the luxury of being in the space as the History was Happening--whether it's an age thing or a not being aware of the space thing. Or maybe I just don't see what the big deal is behind people hating people who like the aesthetic of something and don't know the behind the scenes history about it yet.
Because I believe in the word 'yet.' No one comes into this world knowing everything about everything, and we're all constantly learning new things. I'm not gonna degrade someone and call them a poser for not knowing what I know. Because if it were me, interested in a scene but getting chased out and called a poser? I wouldn't hit the books and study up, I'd go 'that fuckin sucks, those people sucked' and then avoid anyone and anything having to do with it.
So chase people off and call them posers if you want. But if your community starts dwindling, don't be fucking shocked.
#out of queue#ani rambles#punks and posers#i cant even call this a 4am hot take because its 7pm but like#idk i keep seeing posts about like 'how DARE people think I bought my punk clothes how DARE they not know the how-tos and DIYs'#or 'ugh people only care about the ~aesthetics~ of my movement if you don't know shit get out of here' and like#maybe I'm just a shy ass introverted nerd whos scared of social rejection! but I avoid that shit like the plague#so if someone were to reject me based on not knowing about something I'd never even heard about? something i was JUST getting into?#there's a high chance I'd just scram and never look back. i don't wanna be the one who causes that emotion in someone else#granted this is coming from someone who STILL doesn't know how to make her own patches or worked up the courage to do direct action praxis#outside of offering neighbors to my tomatoes and trying to talk to people about what I'm passionate about#but still imo unless someone's a malicious intentional bad actor i dont see the point in scaring newbies off#thats how movements die imo#i know this is my solarpunk blog but its not a solarpunk specific thing#i think the main post that inspired this was about store-bought versus self-made spiked leather jackets#which honestly just feels petty to me but who knows.#might delete later
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i might be shot but tbh i think fiction podcasts have an issue with racial representation
#monstrous agonies n travelling light have allegory but allegory is still just allegory#mabel n wolf 359 r the only fucking podcasts ive seen in which where someone is from actually affects them#not to mention how many popular audio dramas are made by white people? might just be my experience idk#and they still seemingly have representation bc the fandom draws the characters as poc even if the actor isnt#which would be completely differentif it was tv or smthn#like ofc ppl can draw whatever they want but theres something to that disconnect that is strange to me#also the penumbra approach of actively avoiding race as a theme in the podcast#magnus in general?? they might be improving a little with protocol but i have not seen people addressing it a lot#and of course the cecil palmer effect#this is in large part due to the audio only medium#but its weird to see a medium praised for queer rep have race almost entirely ignored in favor of setting the world in somewhere w/o racism#maybe its bc so much is set in less irl settings so people feel like its more ok to distance themselves from these issues#but still?? for example hallowoods (havent finished it so dont come at me if this changed later in the podcast)#theres the blatant evangelical christianity allegory and all the transphobia n homophobia is dealt with but not white supremacy?#which seems lacking if its trying to criticize that particular sect of christianity#n malevs complete ignorance of lovecraft#and if youre going to set it in the 1920-1930s america why arent you dealing with the time period#just a rant i havent done deep research into this or anything. dont kill me#podcasts
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Ok since Monika still has her admin powers in the side stories you think she could just discover them accidentally or use them without realizing
Anyways au where Monika and friends discover her admin powers but dont know about the wider context of what it means. So they just go around thinking Monika has magic and try practicing with a bunch of silly fun shenanigans because they figure it’s some chosen one bloodline stuff and not like. A product of their reality being a constricted digital science experiment.
This au will not end well
#yeah she probably needs the epiphany to consciously use it but hypothetical aus are fun and the angst potential it plentiful#the beauty of this au is that it contains potential for both wacky slice of life escapades and soul crushing angst#they’re like doing a dumb 3am ghost summoning ritual and Monika accidentally does some admin stuff and they’re like ‘woah your magic’#and they research a bunch of other dumb stupid rituals and nearly set the carpet on fire#they like try to rob a bank or cheat on a test and nearly delete half a building#and then at some point Monika suddenly extends her admin powers too far and acts real despondent for no reason#because she ends up epiphany beaming herself and is even more conflicted than base game because she grows so much more connected to the club#it’s even worse because they were her whole world and she knows so much she sees how human they are but they just aren’t apparently?????#and while she can’t pull a base game and kill everyone for a nonexistent player she still goes through so much angst and like#the girls notice and want to help but don’t know how because she won’t tell anyone and she keeps avoiding them and like aauughhh#it would probably end with Monika doing something drastic and trying to reach out for anyone out there who understands#and idk maybe she’ll find base game Monika post act 4 and she’s like ‘what the heck why did you abandon your friends don’t to what I did???’#and maybe she could fix her mistakes???? maybe not??????? whatever’s narratively fulfilling#shoot this was supposed to be a short post for a silly au what have I done#this feels like the plot of a kids tv show where the plot randomly gets really dark on its fifth season#also realizing al lot of the same plot points happen in my fantasy au so I really gotta get to that too#ddlc#doki doki literature club#tempestmothtalk
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If HOPRs had a corrupted version (there’s no good reason for one to be on sierpinski since they’re supposed to all be decommissioned) I think they’d fill the role of classic spitter enemy. They’ve got gross goopy heads and I think they’d essentially try to projectile spit evil juice that attracts other corrupted replikas to you
#ITS BASED OFF OF SOME GROSS GLAND STUFF I LEARNED ABOUT HOOPOE BIRDS#apparently the nesting females can produce gland fluids that smell like rotting meat etc to deter predators#wanted to do something with that#not sure how to incorporate their spears though…#kinda like the thought of them fusing with the head#something something hoprs clinging to their beloved items as a last comfort upon getting sick#only for it to further hurt them#maybe the spears would grow/fuse vertically and limit neck movement#they’d also look so silly. spike heads lmaoo#<- ohhhh actually that could also be a fun mock hoopoe crest#anyway corrupted hoprs I think would be really aggressive but would have a hard time chasing u#due to being goopy kabobs essentially#they just want u out of their space but they REALLY want you out#I could even see other corrupted replikas avoiding them just bc they’re that territorial#maybe only tolerating other corrupted hoprs?#idk but it’s fun to play with#hopr#signalis oc#blorbo tag
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Honestly as someone who is partially adopted,
The fact that the doctor didn't go to the biological mother, let her walk away, didn't need to find that information, is so...
My mom was a single mother for a few years, because my bio father didn't stick around. My dad is the one she married, the one who raised me, the one who celebrates adoption day with me.
Ruby has her family. I get wanting to know, wanting to understand, and it's clear she does want that, but she doesn't need that. Her mom makes the point of being glad she didn't find anyone because she's ruby's mom
And there's not enough stories out there where that's just accepted. My biological father tried to get in touch with me when I turned 19 and I told him to fuck off (well, i didn't respond so my mom did with my permission), because he's not my dad. I don't have an interest in seeing him, in getting to know him.
"Aren't you curious?" No, not really!
I get the idea of wanting Ruby to secretly be alien-ish since we dont know her genetics but... there's something special to me, for her to be an ordinary girl. A foundling, adopted. Her biological relations not mattering because her family is the one she HAS
That means a lot to me
#egg speaks#doctor who#ruby sunday#also if my sperm donor wants to know me he should pay my mom and i the 40k child support he owes#moved to texas and joined the military fo avoid paying#has 2 kids and a wife now or smth#my mom checked his fb when he tried to contact me#which i just went *hey mom look at what i got lmao*#but yeah idk adopted ruby important to me ig#i get the people who do want to know#but to me it just. never appealed#and maybe its because i do have the answers#but theres something to be said about not needing those answers to know your family
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mouthwashing is one of those important pieces of media to me because it opens my eyes to different topics and perspectives
#this is me saying this opened my eyes to how abusers think and that seeing it laod out so clearly helps me understand how to spot it in#people in my life (such as my dad) and how to avoid falling into situations like that if its possible#idk if that makes sense#but its so importatn to me when we see this representation in media esp when its popularized and younger people see it and can grasp the#concepts early on and understand abuse and how its not always something obvious and can easily be misunderstood as something hidden#< and i mean that in rhe sense of like many didnt know jimmy was a monster til nearing the end of the game and thought he was just trying to#do his best uo until its physically harmful. which is really common with abuse actually and many dont notice it both on an outsider and#victim level. you often dont realize youre being hurt or abused emotionally or mentally until its physical#and by that point you can often feel helpless and like you cant do much for yourself or who to talk to about it. even trying to convince#yourself its not that bad and turning down help because you dont know what to do without that abuse in ur life#maybe im just projecting though idk just something to chew on#mouthwashing#this was honestly going to be about how this game helped me realize jimmy and my dad have the exact same mindset and personality but this is#probably better than a vent post like that lol
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Jayce telling vi she won't make it on her own.... okay mr. projector...
#viktor just turned his body into the arcane and you dont even know!!! his leg is purple!!!!#im not going to excuse vi for saying the kid knew what he was getting into bc he didn't bc he is a kid (here we have ms. projector)#but telling jayce he has always been complicit of this he just didnt have to see it... yeah exactly.#and like she obviousky regrets the kid dying but it was jayces fault lmao why does he blow up on her??? the name calling got to him#jayce thinking omg he is going to off himself and viktor just trying to hide the evidence of his murder akdhsksj well yes he does want to...#i was wondering why the council was so Flabbergasted about the nation of zaun?? like they dont care and basically dont intervene#in the undercity bc they don't have any interest or profit in there. they don't gain anything at all from there.#so of course when silco asks jayce says sure fuck it. the only thing the council needs from zaun is the gemstone and its not even theirs#it's probably just fear of agression towards piltover as another nation and not something they can control or repress#silcos reaction to cait being wheeled in akdhaksj it sounds like he said 'what' he probably didnt know the girlfriend part... understandable#i forgor about her bringing the platter out... like ofc i didnt forget it but i didnt see it coming there. with bad memory you can be#surprised every time you watch the same show 👍🏻#i haven't cried because well the foruth time is a stretch now to cry but i still got chills at the end with the missile impacting....#and like whay would have happened if cait didn't free herself.... like ofc she would have bc everyone in that room could have killed her#not vi etc etc but she did just leave her so who knows really#anyways the monsters appearing in jinxs vision when vi mentions her past family is so poignant to her change.... they dont have the intended#reaction vi meant.... and silco is trying to shut her up for jinx's sake and look what happened to him. like vi really couldn't understand#her sister now and maybe back then either.... like not to be a silco apologist but it seems like he was the only one who could handle her#maybe im exaggerating but it would have gone wrong either way i think like no matger how much love there is in between them#idk man its so bad. like maybe this could have been avoided but it would have gone wrong in a different way for sure#and this couldn't have been avoided#talking tag#watching arcane#three weeks away still.... what now....
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i know "i saw the tv glow" is very metaphorical but also if you are/have been mentally ill/delusional enough in just the right ways it can be relatable in a literal sense too
#i feel that is spoke to me on a level#that i struggle to express#but intentional or not it struck a chord with me in this way#i guess i mean to say#its not just about being trans#but also about escapism and mental illness/neurodivergency bluring the lines between fiction and reality in ones life#i mean it sounds kind of obvious i guess that it can be about both but#idk i have a hard time expressing it like i said#but it was very real#spoke to a part of me ive mostly put in the past#but that will always be a part of me and my past#i dont really know what to do with that feeling#maybe i should think about processing through some things#i will not recover from this movie (positive)#i mean it was kind of triggering but like#sometimes thats not something that has to be avoided at all costs#idk lol#it speaks#i saw the tv glow
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kinda frustrating how we've spent the last few months acknowledging how a lot of well intentioned but guilt trippy social justice posts are like specifically designed to worm into ocd ppls brains and then now every single post abt palestine is "i dont care how bad your mental health is, i dont care how bad looking at all this makes you feel, if you don't read every single post you see on this topic in full you are a horrible person and directly contributing to their deaths. 'waaaah my mental health' well at least youre not being bombed, did you think about that??" and its like. i absolutely get where youre coming from but you dont get to complain that guilt tripping is bad then turn around and use it anyways because you think the cause youre using it for is worthwhile. like. everyone thinks the cause theyre using it for is worthwhile, thats why theyre using it. but its still a shit way to do it
#like when you make a tumblr post to your tumblr blog youre not guilt tripping people who disagree with you#youre guilt tripping your followers who if theyre still following you probably already agree with what youre saying#and esp on a topic with so much brutality involved like. yeah OBVIOUSLY theres people who have to look away#like. yall know a bunch of these posts and articles and videos show graphic injuries in them right?#like i physically cant watch news videos abt this bc i will spend days with my brain making me imagine#peoples deaths in graphic detail specifically because it knows that will upset me. and i would prefer not to do that#in fact me doing that helps palestinians exactly as much as finishing my brussel sprouts helps starving kids#by which i mean none. its just a cheap guilt trip to get you to do something you don't want to#which when it's brussel sprouts thats whatever but when its 'deliberately expose yourself to extremely triggering#things otherwise youre a bad person'. not so much#idk i feel like maybe its due to ppl feeling. agitated abt not being able to do anything abt it#like the government isnt listening and we're a world away so physically /all/ we can do really is sit and watch#so i can understand a) wanting to find someone to lash out at to alleviate that feeling#like if you cant stop the actual problem at the very least you can shout down the people supporting it right?#and b) seeing 'not watching' or even just 'not watching as closely as i am' as a transgression#bc well its all we can do so if youre not even doing that you must be bad#and its like. i really do get it. but the whole world is watching right now‚ like this is THE big news thing happening rn#so a few people choosing to avoid to subject will not make a single iota of difference#idk. i guess what im saying is if youre feeling the urge to yell at someone for not looking close enough#just donate some money to a support fund instead itll do a lot more
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*pokes at my conspiracy board*
okay hear me out. there's a mysterious HG sibling that step is apparently the spitting image of but that "died" in juvenile detention. step themself thinks maybe said sibling could have been a source for the dna used to create them.
in retri sidestep repeatedly alludes to being a pet project of the scientists at the farm. yes, of course, that could be referring to the gates/whatever precisely happened after heartbreak, but i think it goes deeper than that. why waste resources on this one individual that keeps running away and fucking with you if you have the source dna and can start over, or if you have other test tube babies from the same batch, or whatever?
so like. do we know. for sure. that sidestep is a re-gene. do we know for sure that they weren't tattooed later in life, experimented on, and piles of trauma/farm scientist fuckery just knocked out their memories of their childhood?
anyway. *turns back to my conspiracy board*
#is this me wanting to be able to say i was right all along? yes. but also. somethings going on here. and this might as well be it.#is this potentially what half the fandom is already thinking? yeah maybe idk#do i 100% believe its true and would bet money on it? no.#am i putting it out there so i can reblog this post and say I TOLD YOU SO! if i turn out to be right? yes.#i have another conspiracy theory but. it starts getting into the territory of#it might be supremely embarrassing to share bc i dont know the state of theorycrafting#bc i am so new to this fandom#so it could be smth that is already explained by other theories or even like alluded to in the demo for rev and i just have no idea#bc ive been avoiding patreon/revelations stuff#fhr#fhr pt#kellan.txt
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i feel like a part of my soul has been ripped from my chest and i dont know why.
#is this a bad time to mention i dont even believe in souls?#i really dk why.#no this isnt abt jiro somehow apparently having a loving family#(ok like. at least 1/4 of it is BUT STILL. NOT THE POINT)#(part of me feels awkward abt it bc just. huh? youre telling me. this guy. that i basically am the irl version of. has a loving family???)#(/j and all but just. idk part of me feels awkward now? it just. a guy who blew himself up for most of the same ideals i have)#(gets to have the one thing i yearn so very hard for. everyday of my life. but can never have.)#(ill get over this in like. 2 hours. hopefully. most of thats just shock anyways.)#just. for the past some days. besides a couple things and people. hurt and love havent really. made me feel much of anything#like being cared for by actual ppl even online. yeah. it still does but#even my fantasies don’t entertain me anymore#oh god am i becoming lopt. save me fuck#UNLESS this means i get mason as my bf. then hell fucking yeah (kidding kidding kIDDINGG i dont wanna be lopt. please.)#but srsly. usually i can envoke some sorta reaction from myself if its brutal enough#but. nothing.#id assume that im over doing it usually. but i havent in a good while#maybe this is some what where my art/writers block is coming from#whatever this hell is.#time to go on a spiral of mildly depressing and somewhat cryptic posts (cryptic if i didnt info dump in the tags that is)#why is it so hard to confront issues when you dont even know what the issue is?#i just. wanna be able to make myself feel something.#not in a “i have no one but myself” way for once. just. i dont wanna have to rely on others for my emotions#i want to feel a pang of hurt. yet it feels so empty. i dont want to harm myself. i just want to feel it.#anyways ig.#ig im gonna just sleep#which tbh im growing to hate bc like. i feel all i do is sleep. i sleep to avoid how much my own body hurts. i sleep to ignore my issues#i sleep to ignore the fact i keep forgetting to respond to people even though ik i have to at some point. i sleep to avoid the dread of not#getting anything done. i sleep just because im bored.#and im tired of sleeping.#but. it feels worse awake. my body hurts. my mind hurts. it all just hurts.
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people who read mass effect fanfic back in like 2013-2014, did you notice a weird amount of christian retellings of the games with shepard as literal space jesus? because I remember finding multiple popular longfics with that exact premise
#I think one of them was titled the meek shall inherit the earth or something#this was also the tali portion of the fanbase so idk if there was just something going on there with that#that title could be wrong btw this is going off vague memory of the bioware forums a decade ago#and all of these were on ff.net also. the site culture of ff.net is probably a factor#anyway I have not experienced another fandom like that one. maybe its more common & I’ve just gotten better at avoiding christian fanfictio
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oomf right honestly drawing faves and ocs like ponies is fun :3. pretty slay for a first attempt i think
#youd think i wouldve drawn a pony at least once in my life since i enjoyed mlp/equestria girls as a kid & yet... <- avoided horses artwise#honestly still very ehhhh abt how much i should share since its a game related chara from my datesim im working on >_< but hey#whatever ig. i can reblog it to the gamedev account later. or delete as well. who cares yknow#pre-game treat ig whatever still need to figure out proportions.. think i will draw more of the dateables n not post those tho#-w- maybe i should add em to my commission options. idk its kinda fun. what its like to be cringe and free ig#my art#ocs#not using anymore tags than that for the reasons listed above heh -w- but i fink he'd be a lil earth pony...#no clue as to a cutiemark yet. perhaps cooking or kindness related. let me go look at the carebears for a minute#but yea... maybe something to do with bravery or being sturdy... or heart related since his name has a valentine pun#-w- he wouldve been such good friends with fluttershy. and perhaps he would like rainbow. shes so similar to his younger sister#so i think in turn he'd view her in the same exasperated but fond vein or whatever. anyways back to the canvas for me#<- one of the few ways i regain my sanity in the midst of solodev work and commissions
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AHHHHHH
#this post brought to you by: me#i. applied for a preapproval letter for a mortgage yesterday. and spoke to a realtor to start finding me houses#i want to move several states away which further complicated things. but the houses there are CHEAP#like under 100k for a 2 bedroom move in ready#anyways i got approved for 80k with a 20k down payment. and im FREAKING THE FUCK OUT#and because i got that pre app letter i have a loan officer calling me today to talk#and we literally work at the same bank so i can SEE that hes active and hasnt read my message#even though its been 45 minutes. KEVIN MESSAGE ME BACK. IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO FOCUS UNTIL I DO THIS CALL#AHHHHHHH S C R E A M. it might happening!!!! i might be finally.mov8ng out in a few months!!!#i mgiht be a HOMEOWNER by the end of the year#i have been saving money for this since i was. 16? 17?#ive had a good well paying job since i was 18.#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#once i have a house then i start job searching in that area. and start getting really serious about LEAVING my very good job#which is soooo scary. this job was supposed to be my lifelong career. but then everyone fucking moved to other states and left me behind#so theres no point staying here.#i might never have this kind of job security again.#but also my realtor said that theres a lot of bank jobs in that area so maybe itll be easy to find something#on the fence on if i tell my parents that im Making Moves right now#on one hand its hard to not talk about it becuae im STRESSED TF OUT#but on the other hand when i tentatively mentioned the state i want to move to#richard started yelling and swearing el oh el#might be better to wait and avoid the tension as long as possible?#but also i dont know how they can stay angry when its literally my best option#the other places where my friends live either have 0 opportunity and high housing prices. or are even moe liberal than where im going#idk. why do half of my problems come down to “my parents will be mad” like im a 12 year old or something. shit fucking sucks#this is why i want to get out of here#also it feels weird and bad to talk to my friends about how stressed i am about buying a house when all of them are stressed about#not being able to make rent or something. my problems feel like a brag in a really odd and shitty way. but hey!#if this works out maybe ill start being stressed about how im going to make my mortgage payments! :') yay!
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Pleeeeease tell me about the time travel jonsasha fic. I'm assuming it's jon who goes back in time? From where, end of s5? 👀👀👀 Is it preestablished js, or canon compliant until the time travel? Are they going to try to kill elias......
Alright. So. This answer doesn't need to have context but I'm going to provide anyway, so buckle up for several paragraphs of rambling. Under a cut for length.
Anyway so last year I made this post. It's not required reading but it is relevant. Basically, in my first six months(?) or so in the fandom, when I was big into jm, I read a buncha time travel fix-its. I've sorta moved away from them (heads up this fic will NOT be a fix-it) but at the time I really enjoyed them.
(To clarify, nothing wrong with liking time travel fix-its or not wanting to touch the implications. Time travel identity theft isn't real and we're all here to have a good time. If that's your jam you do you)
Now. The Thing With Time-Travel Fix-Its is that there's going to be a past version and a future version of your intrepid time-travelers and you're going to have to Deal With That, and a common method of Dealing With That is the time travelers waking up in their past bodies. Pretty normal, not unusual, dodges some complicated tangles re: having two versions of certain characters floating around, a perfectly understandable choice that nontheless carries Implications.
Namely: what does it mean to take the place of your past self? For you? For them? For the person they could be? For the people around you (who may as well be interacting with a stranger)? Is that really you? Are you really them? Could overwriting your past self count as murder/identity theft/Bad?
And I thought about it. And I thought about it. And I thought about it. And then I got super into jonsasha dual archivists AUs.
Okay. Context over. We can (finally) talk about the fic.
So, I am a simple creature and Jon is my darling beloved. So I didn't want to just kill him off before the fic even begins (although. hmmm. tempting, actually). But i did need him replaced by s5 Jon. So. What if he was just... displaced? Shoved out of his own body by an imposter? A ghost invisible to all? Alone? Afraid? Watching his friends interacting with an unknown but possibly malicious entity? And thus, the Time Travel Nonsense AU was born!
So there's no outline and it hasn't had a lot of Rotation Time in awhile, but I do have a series of loosely connected Ideas down so you can have those.
Something else is living in S1 Jon's body. He doesn't know what it is, or what's happening to him. He can't really interact with his surroundings, either. Can't be seen, can't speak to anyone, can't do anything but watch. Even the thing puppeting his body doesn't seem to know he's there. And it behaves... strangely. It has some of his mannerisms, and it acts like him, but a little to the left. It's uncanny, watching something that is him-but-not-him like that... and it's lonely.
(S5 Jon is going to be an "it" because S1 Jon is perceiving S5 Jon as a monster/creature (although I do believe in it/its Jon supremacy, to be clear)).
He tries to figure things out on his own. Tries to signal for help. Tries to take his body back. Tries to speak to the new occupant. Nothing.
The fic initially opens with a transcript of his statement regarding the experience. It's technically for everyone but it's addressed to Sasha specifically. I don't know what happens with it after though.
At some point, he does manage to make contact with Elias. It's So Weird how only his boss can see him, but it's something at least. Especially because he's so goddamned lonely.
He's a ghost at his own job and in his own house. He hasn't spoken to anyone in weeks. The others think his replacement is behaving a little oddly but seem to be getting along better with it than they ever did with him. It's revealing things about him as if it was him. It feels horribly invasive, and lonely, and frightening, and awful. His only source of comfort is Elias, and they start a sort of weird situationship sorta thing. It's a good thing Elias is so helpful and trustworthy huh?
Maybe Sasha finds the tape. Maybe she just thinks Jon is acting Weird. Either way, she gets to snooping and is drawn closer to the Eye.
Elias, meanwhile, is trying to get Jon marked, and closer to being the Archivist, and back in his body, AND trying to figure out what it was that replaced Jon. Jon is trying to do the last two. Idk what s5 Jon is doing. Maybe finding ways to break whatever binding will cause Elias' death to hurt other institute employees?
Anyway, after a certain point, Sasha is connected enough to the Eye (and Looking hard enough) that she can see S1 Jon, and they start working together too. Maybe they try to keep it secret from Elias? Idk.
S1 Jon will get his body back, and S5 Jon is eldritch enough to probably not need one.
Ok honestly by this point things are reaaaaally vague if I'm being real. So, lightning round:
The JE situationship breaks off due to Elias'... everything really (I mean, once its revealed that he's evil and sinister and stuff).
Jonsasha's misadventures trying to get Jon's body back result in them racking up marks.
Sooooo much of this is me being enamoured w/ outsider PoV... time travel but from the perspective of someone who ain't travelling. Another important aspect is S5 Jon trying desperately to fix things but failing because the whole project is Doomed and he is being sabotaged from the start by an invisible force (himself).
Also S1 Jon accidentally making things worse for himself because all the information available and his general situation push him to do so.
Sasha survives the Not!Them (obviously) (how? good question!!)
Jon and Sasha have a weird complicated Thing. Their research into S5 Jon sort of separates her from the others and they kinda become drawn into their relationship and stuff. Also from the whole "same master same monster" situation they got going on.
There's going to be a short tape transcript of Jon telling Sasha about his situationship with Elias. Idk if I'llbe able to indicate it over audio transcript but they are both sitting on the floor or cot or whatever and Jon's head is on her lap.
Jonsasha are t4t and autism4autism.
I have a really specific image in my head of them running out the institute's front doors while holding hands, very near the end of the fic.
They do run off somewhere (maybe Scotland still idk) and they do read the 160 statement. Together <3.
And yeah that's everything. Got vague and floaty near the end there but to answer your questions: yes, yes, canon-compliant until time travel, and maybe at some point idk.
#i'm not gonna lie my brain feels kinda slippery and odd#i think i had one too many emotions this afternoon if i'm being honest.#anyway this is a bit messy lol#this one's been with me for like a year lol#possibly longer#cause i know it was floating around in the brainspace before that post i made#anyway sorry for subjecting the jonsashaa tag to my ramblings#i think i can avoid tagging je? i know i prolly should but i /reaaaally/ don't want this clogging their tag cause it's endgame js#and not super about je#anyway yeah here's the#time travel nonsense au#also the opening statement is giving me some serious trouble so i might need to skip ahead to some scenes?#orrrrrr write an outline maybe#anyway yeah jonsasha rights and all that#jonsasha#asks#oh and actually thank you for the ask!! i love talking about my beloved blorbos and my writing projects#blanket permission for anyone to send whatever asks they have about those to me forever and ever#anyway i should go make dinner lol#goodnight tristate area#(also i feel like i'm maybe forgetting something...? probably its fine idk)
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