#but maybe not idk. its something i avoid.

[dashiellqvverty]

i honestly think wild blue yonder might be my least favorite donna episode (its been a while since i revisted season 4 so no promises but... im pretty confident) and whats getting me is its like they pulled the scary parts from stuff like waters of mars and midnight and then took out the things that make those episodes good which is the OTHER PEOPLE

[solarpunkani]

"Oh no, someone's attracted to the aesthetics of my -punk movement but doesn't know the praxis and history behind it like I do--"

OK. Tell them. Make it a teaching moment. Everyone who's in your movement learned the background from somewhere at some point, maybe this is that point for that person. Give them a jumping off point that they can dive into later.

"Oh but I shouldn't be responsible for teaching baby -punks about the history and the how-tos and--"

OK. Then don't tell them. You don't have to be responsible for teaching people with a budding interest in your group the ins and outs and how-tos. That's fair and valid! It can be a lot of work. Someone else will handle it

"But I'm annoyed that they would try to claim to be part of/be interested in my community without knowing all the details that I know after being in it for months/years/decades, they're dumb, they're posers, they're--"

OK. Then don't engage with them, if it's that bad. Maybe someone else will come around and tell them the history, maybe they'll pick it up on their own, maybe they'll just enjoy the fashion elements for awhile.

"But they shouldn't claim to be part of the -punk community if they don't know the--"

I feel like we have a few options here. People can either talk to them, share the history, share the values, share the praxis. Or they can just chase off anyone who even thinks about dipping a toe in their community, and then wonder why it's dying off later down the line.

I dunno, maybe I'm too naive and patient or whatever. But if people are entering your -punk spaces without knowing The Rundown of what you feel they need to know, maybe being nice about it and informing people instead of immediately assuming stupidity and malicious intent could help you make a new friend. Even the loudest voices in a space had to learn from somewhere, and not everyone has the luxury of being in the space as the History was Happening--whether it's an age thing or a not being aware of the space thing. Or maybe I just don't see what the big deal is behind people hating people who like the aesthetic of something and don't know the behind the scenes history about it yet.

Because I believe in the word 'yet.' No one comes into this world knowing everything about everything, and we're all constantly learning new things. I'm not gonna degrade someone and call them a poser for not knowing what I know. Because if it were me, interested in a scene but getting chased out and called a poser? I wouldn't hit the books and study up, I'd go 'that fuckin sucks, those people sucked' and then avoid anyone and anything having to do with it.

So chase people off and call them posers if you want. But if your community starts dwindling, don't be fucking shocked.

[composeregg]

Honestly as someone who is partially adopted,

The fact that the doctor didn't go to the biological mother, let her walk away, didn't need to find that information, is so...

My mom was a single mother for a few years, because my bio father didn't stick around. My dad is the one she married, the one who raised me, the one who celebrates adoption day with me.

Ruby has her family. I get wanting to know, wanting to understand, and it's clear she does want that, but she doesn't need that. Her mom makes the point of being glad she didn't find anyone because she's ruby's mom

And there's not enough stories out there where that's just accepted. My biological father tried to get in touch with me when I turned 19 and I told him to fuck off (well, i didn't respond so my mom did with my permission), because he's not my dad. I don't have an interest in seeing him, in getting to know him.

"Aren't you curious?" No, not really!

I get the idea of wanting Ruby to secretly be alien-ish since we dont know her genetics but... there's something special to me, for her to be an ordinary girl. A foundling, adopted. Her biological relations not mattering because her family is the one she HAS

That means a lot to me

[ruruumin]

partially venting // i think i've come to the conclusion that the reason why i avoid watching/engaging in anything that my friends recommend is because i associate that material with them (ex: frieren/etc), and if they leave or things change i won't enjoy it anymore

therefore i have to touch or get into something first, so it has association with myself, and won't be changed even if someone else leaves

[mosstrades]

im someone who stuggles not to let his curiosity and drive sometimes (often) cross over into an overwhelming and maladaptive need for answers, for explanation, for certainty. someone who, historically, sees making art as a primarily intellectual exercise. this is not inherently a bad thing, we all have our temperaments and this kind of attention can be a strength. but, you know that artist who makes a painting, and then only wants to show it while explaining it to you? thats me, sometimes, more often than i like. every story i used to write had another hundred page document behind it, explicating every single choice -- often i would simply read that, instead of ever actually write the story itself. the explanation precedes everything. the answers alone are the experience.

david lynch's work and philosphy has been and is a vital foothold in my efforts to learn to love the questions as our breath. learn to appreciate intuition and dreams, trust them instead of fear them. learn to see that the world has so much confusing, uncertain, strange beauty, that can be terrifying but turns sublime when you cease rejecting it from fear. when you embrace the unknown and dont try to immediately & anxiously explicate it all away, a whole new world opens up to you. that you need the darkness in order to dream, and you need dreams in order to live fully immersed in what the world has to offer. a foothold in learning to be okay with abstraction, with imperfect subjectivity, with uncertainty. to know it is not anthitetical to truth and meaning. know that to skillfully make ideas come alive into a work *is* to rationally pin them down, but that you cannot lose sight of the intuition they were born as.

his artistic intuition reminds me of what i need to have -- the trust and humility for experiencing the inexplicable and understanding that to be enough. a devotion to ideas and their realisation. a balancing force, for my endless inquiry -- to not forget to live the question in my the search for an answer. to allow some thing to go without clear or universal explanation, allow for some things to remain unresolved, allow for others to have that be their resolution. it's why his work equal parts captivates me and disturbs me -- i am very bad at this. but feel in my heart a need to get better at it. to be a better artist, a better thinker, a better searcher, a better person. you need to feel it, intuitively, quiet your endless noisy need for an answer and simply let it fill you up, let it resonate intuitively, and find in that how life makes sense to you and you alone. mediation, mindfulness, humility to sit with abstraction without trying to pin it down. more and more i try to understand this. some things don't need to make perfect sense. some things dont need answers, or their answers are not the point. some things dont need anything but to be experienced as they enter you -- like dreams do. that can lead you to the answer, and that can also be enough in itself. that can be just an intrinsic value in being alive to experience it. and so often, it is all in conversation with the search for joy. it's why he feels so captivating, so unique, so tremendously alive. why people use the word "visionary" when talking about him. because he knew how to use his medium in all the potential he could see, so that it let you live in the strangeness and questions. he understood them as sublime, he understood them as enough, he understood them as a joy. he understood them as beautiful. and his memory will remind me to do the same; always to seek the space to dream.

[stunted-boars]

I (probably) have hyposmia (extremely weak/flakey sense of smell) and I'm always happy when Jackson finds a way to bring up the fact that Gregor has anosmia (no sense of smell)

Ep 193, Gregor comments that he's self-conscious about possibly smelling bad, because he can't check himself. He turns down a flower hes been told has a bad smell, and asks Ashe to check that he smells okay

I had to pause the video because that's something I worry about every day!! Down to "avoiding things I've been told smell bad because I won't be able to tell if the smell gets on me," which is a massive concern of mine! Asking friends/family to double check you smell okay!! I do that!!!!!

I don't know if Jackson himself has a smelling disorder, did some research, or just thought about how not having a sense of smell would impact Gregor. Either way, I love how it's been handled so far. It feels really cool :]

[hauntingblue]

Jayce telling vi she won't make it on her own.... okay mr. projector...

[vampirefangs]

i know "i saw the tv glow" is very metaphorical but also if you are/have been mentally ill/delusional enough in just the right ways it can be relatable in a literal sense too

[heartbreakincident]

*pokes at my conspiracy board*

okay hear me out. there's a mysterious HG sibling that step is apparently the spitting image of but that "died" in juvenile detention. step themself thinks maybe said sibling could have been a source for the dna used to create them.

in retri sidestep repeatedly alludes to being a pet project of the scientists at the farm. yes, of course, that could be referring to the gates/whatever precisely happened after heartbreak, but i think it goes deeper than that. why waste resources on this one individual that keeps running away and fucking with you if you have the source dna and can start over, or if you have other test tube babies from the same batch, or whatever?

so like. do we know. for sure. that sidestep is a re-gene. do we know for sure that they weren't tattooed later in life, experimented on, and piles of trauma/farm scientist fuckery just knocked out their memories of their childhood?

anyway. *turns back to my conspiracy board*

[halfdeadwallfly]

watching my friends spend time together while consistently cancelling plans with me and promising they want to hang out they just cant

[hiddenbeks]

oh also in other news. i finally finished leviathan the other day

[kenmaiii]

oomf right honestly drawing faves and ocs like ponies is fun :3. pretty slay for a first attempt i think

[skierisa]

love and hate how my n90sau is basicaly slice of life and romance. love it but hate it because ik most people like more action driven stories... or did it change since last time i wrote fanfiction for thi sfandom?

[imflyingfish]

Mmmmm

[keepthemacramesecret]

oHHHH my God... did baring-gould put chas in 1899 by... literally counting 50 murder cases and putting it in that winter....?? that is... remarkably stupid

[opens-up-4-nobody]

the good thing about asperger's no longer being a diagnosis is that it's just called level 1 autism spectrum disorder now. i know i probably shouldn't be poking around in the mental health of strangers online, but as an autistic person myself, your struggles resonated with me. ever since i've been able to accept, understand, and begin to provide myself accommodations for my autism, my mental health has improved tremendously. autism is also co-morbid with oodles of other conditions, so it is definitely possible to have autism and other conditions that may have overlapping symptoms

It's funny, I was diagnosed, accepted it, over analyzed and rejected it, subsequently forgot about it entirely, then when the only helpful counselor I ever had brought up the idea I was like: Oh yeah! That makes sense. And went through the same process over again. I will say, having someone point out that something might be inhibiting my ability to interact with people was extremely helpful. Because I just thought I was really bad at it and processed it as a point of failure (which was intolerable). At one point she said "You don't have to do things you don't want to just because you feel like you should" and I think about that a lot. That should have been obvious but it was like she slapped me with a fish