#so it could be smth that is already explained by other theories or even like alluded to in the demo for rev and i just have no idea | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

okamiz36 · 1 month ago

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MORI IS NOT A PEDO. DAZAI IS NOT A WOMANIZER OR 2D. A rant about the BSD universe, characters, and fanfic writers and how people mischaracterize the MCs

SPOILERS FOR THE BOOK NO LONGER HUMAN

Ok so, for those of who don't know in BUNGOSTRAYDOGS ANIME each main character was based off an actual writer and the character's came to be a blend of the universe/anime mixed with the novelist's books. For example, Dazai Osmau wrote the book No Longer Human which explains the tale of a man who had been acting his entire life, struggles with depression, fitting into society and eventually at the end comes out as gay (shoutout to the soukou shippers because this practically confirms the ship is canon). It shows how Dazai is more then a womenizer and comedian whereas in the anime we just take the character at surface level.

I'm a fanfic reader, I enjoy alot of different stories and right now I'm reading StrayBoundIsakai on AO3, amazing fanfic to some extent. I love it and whatnot but they included some notes on NaomiXTanizaki, and like a true fan I've done a bit of reasearch on the books written by the characters (I read crime and punishment+No longer human because those are my favs plus another Dostoyevsky book I can't remember the name of) So y'know it annoyed me to see people claiming that Tanizaki and Naomi are an actual incest couple because they are not. Here's my theory, Tanizaki n Naomi arent real siblings, in the book Naomi by Tanizaki two lovers have to pretend to be siblings to hide from a man who I'm pretty sure forced Naomi into a relationship with him, ill read the book prob tmrw if i got time, and its a common theroy that Naomi in bsd isnt even real, shes a hallucination ofa dead girl made by light snow ability. So one or the other.

We don't have any confirmation as to pretty much any of the BSD characters so we don't know the details between Tanizaki and Naomi as they've been kept secret. BSD is an odd anime because it goes from silly detective to vampire outbreak, to Fyodor is god, but within layers there are so many hidden clues on what the real story is.

Dazai is a tricky one for me because i've read so many theories on him but my favorite is why he abuses Akutagawa. Dazai is abusive to Akutagawa bc if he isnt and praises aku then aku loses his reason to lvie and be better then he alreayd is, akutagawa needs to be told he's a failure, dazais nice to atsushi bc atsushi is already so far broken if he doesn't get praise he'll go insane and suicide or smth similar. Dazai's character and entire personality is within the book no longer human (amazing read would recommend but it will mess you up) people often call him a womanizer but it's him simply trying to fake a personality as to what he deems is the most likeable persona or sterotypical persona. He's not annoying, his entire personality is a facade in which he's just trying to be likeable because he has no clue how he's suppose to act. In the PM/dark era/15 dazai he acted cold and ruthless because that was what was to be expected of him. Dazai has no personality, he's a pathological manipulator, YALL PLEASE READ NO LONGER HUMAN IF YOU ARE A DAZAI FAN.

And then Mori... PEOPLE PLEASE STOP SAYING HE'S A PEDOFILE. I'm going to take context from a reddit thread and the link will be posted because the post I'm quoting omg is amazing helped me so much, "Elise is the character of a short story by Mori, "The Dancing Girl" [a japanese student in Germany falls in love with a 17yo local girl who was poor and danced for a living, they have a complicated relationship until the guy chooses Japanese Moral Integrity over Love and goes back home. The girl realizes she was pregnant and goes mad, the student finds out and has painful regrets because he wanted a child/family and truly loved the girl" "In "The Dancing Girl", in the end the girl was pregnant with the student's child. Could BSD Elise herself be that child? Well, I don't very much believe this actually (imo BSD Mori and Elise don't have a father-daughter kind of relationship, I will elaborate), but anyway it's something that popped up in my mind. 2) I'm sure I read this somewhere, though I can't remember the source rn, that RL Mori himself said that his sexuality is "like that of a child", meaning that he does not really feel sexual attraction but he understands love and affection, and he stated that he loved his wife and children. So, my personal opinion is that Elise could be just that part of him. That's why it's shaped like a child. (+ Little side note idk if it's something worth mentioning but Elise has blue eyes, blonde hair, western outfit... Is she European? Given RL Mori's literary tastes I mentioned at the start, Asagiri might have chosen this specific design on purpose?). Anyway that brings me to my next point: What is Mori and Elise's relationship in BSD? Like I was saying, Elise is literally a part of Mori, so she is Mori himself, his preferences, the influences he had, etc. He loves and cares for her because he loves and cares for himself. After all, Mori is not shown being "affectionate" towards other kids: there were Q and Kyōka right there but Mori never showed interest in them if not to exploit their abilities. So is BSD Mori a pedo yes or no?? Here we are. I think BSD Mori might be asexual (as for RL Mori, he probably was, but we'll never really know, also who knew about asexuality in 1800-1900s lol). That said, the character is never shown feeling sexual attraction (and reminder that pedophile means sexually attracted to children, y'all say this word so lightly smh). But Mori really says a lot of inappropriate stuff, doesn't he? Fukuzawa was shocked and Elise picks on him. But what if the shtick is that he just doesn't realize that he appears sus to others, exactly because anything he does isn't intended as sexual in his pov? He's a criminal mastermind but he also probably thinks dressing up Elise is like dressing up a doll and saying she's his wife is like playing house."

Asagiri prob just made him seem creepy because guess what HE'S A MAFIA BOSS LIKE WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?! Link is here please read: reddit.com/r/BungouStrayDogs/comments/17zes5z/vita_sexualis/

Reading or watching videos of recaps on the BSD writers made me hate so many fanfics honestly.... I shared all of these thoughts with my friend @kreepyveebs because they wanted to makea Ranpo fanfic and I figured I should also make a post on this.

I'm going to link a channel who made videos on Dostoyevsky's books just because it helps clearify what Fyodor is even talking about/explaining in the books, it's also a psychology channel so I recommend just binge watchin this guy https://www.youtube.com/@unsolicitedadvice9198

Can writers and theorists also please start figuring out what made Kunikida have his ideals, or made Ranpo the way he is? Ranpo wrote black lizards so me and Kreepy have made the theory of he had mafia parents or somehting similar, maybe related to Hiroshi? (im pretty sure i got his name wrong- ack), stop focusing on just the mains, like jeez.

SHOUTOUT TO @kreepyveebs (second ping mwahhaha) THEYRE AN AMAZING ARTIST AND WRITER AND YOU SHOULD 100% FOLLOW THEM IF YOU SEE THIS POST.

oh yeah @unknowntalesbymiles you should enjoy this post so ping for you!

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trickstarbrave · 10 months ago

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WIP WHENEVER

HIIIIIIIIII im very excited to share this wip. im so mad i wrote this out of order bc i wanna post it immediately. im looking forward tho to finally being able to edit and post it on ao3 normally

i got tagged by @caliblorn and @your-talos-is-problematic and im taggingggggg @woundjob, @thescrolls-haveforetold, @wellthebardsdead and my roommate @soundwavefucker69

here is smth for moon and star. lots of lorkhan talk. some chim. some trauma. even some dagoth ur

literally i was like "oh yeah. its all coming together" writing this also its long im sorry

also here is my god!nerevar sketch. can be interpreted also as just how lorkhan appears to neht and the ppl around him

Malacath’s hand touched his chest and pain wracked his body. Nerevar could feel the blade cutting away his skin—cutting through the bone of his sternum and splintering it. It ripped apart and opened his ribcage, before that damn hand was then inside his chest. His anxiety spiked as he could feel phantom touches on his heart, a hand gripping it, long claws digging into the muscle as it continued to beat loud and sturdy. His whole body had gone rigid, nostrils flared and his breathing coming in quick pants desperate to get more air in his lungs.

He was terrified. More than terrified, in fact. It was like being killed in the heart chamber but all the more worse somehow. He was choking now, gagging on blood—thick, black blood that was pouring from his chest, bubbling up in his throat.

And then Nerevar was overcome with the urge to laugh. To laugh besides the terror coursing through him, to laugh even though he was gagging and choking on his own blood. He knew he would die; it had been a part of his plan all along. He hadn’t known what death would be like, but he had anticipated it, at least on his own terms. And yet here Trinimac was, killing him himself. Ripping his heart from his chest.

He had intended the first death to be slow and simple. A fading ember rather than a bright, all encompassing flame that destroyed everything with it. He had intended to bear the burden as the cause of the first death in their reality where death did not yet exist—was merely a theory. But here Trinimac was, unknowingly mantling that sin himself. A cruel irony he would be the one to blame for this. It was not his fault, but it would be his responsibility and duty.

He’d collapsed at some point, gasping, crying, and choking on blood as Voryn held him close. Voryn shouldn’t see him like this—not his beloved, sobbing and begging. He couldn’t hear his voice over the drumming of his own heart but he tried to speak despite all the gagging he was doing. His gorgeous, sweet lover, his beautiful hawk shouldn’t have to watch him die like this. Not when Nerevar knew this was coming, deep down. Not when he had doomed them both, sacrificed Voryn’s life on the altar just as much as his own. He was regretting it now, if only because he couldn’t apologize; how could he speak when Trinimac had already ripped out his heart? How could he explain he never wanted to hurt Voryn in truth? How would his beloved hawk even react to his death? Oh the fury he could bring down, how he could drown the world in blood and tears if he was pushed to the brink…

And what of Azura, his sister? His poor, vain, vindictive sister… She hadn’t agreed to help him, but he knew she would be in a rage over his death. And even the man killing him was sobbing and crying, apologizing despite his lord—Nerevar’s own brother—ordering his execution. How could he apologize to this man? To tell him he knew he didn’t mean for it, that Nerevar was the villain all along in this story? Would that soothe his grief? Trinimac, Kyne, Azura, all of the others… How would they fair without him? Tears were now spilling from his eyes not from pain but sorrow that he wouldn’t be there to comfort and love them. Ah, if only he could kiss his hawk one last time…

“Nerevar!” Voryn’s voice finally cut through, and a disconnect happened in the vision. He was untethered now, the sensation of falling back into his own body hitting him, and his ears were ringing loudly, a dizziness washing over him. There were no more feathers on Voryn’s face or on his cloak—why would there be? Voryn wasn’t… Voryn wasn’t a hawk, why would he call him that so fondly? There weren’t even tears streaming down his face like he had seen before, but his face was in a grimace, pained watching him writhe and flail choking on imaginary blood.

His hand came up to his chest as he felt around, but there was no gaping wound like he’d expected. Why had he felt it so clearly then? His whole body was still shaking from the terror and pain, unable to calm the trembling.

“Do you remember now, Lorkhan?” Malacath asked, still standing over him. Vivec and Sil were currently being held back by the numerous orcs, though they were swearing up a storm and desperately trying to fight their way closer to defend him. Even Voryn had a spell prepared as he cradled Nerevar close to his chest, posed with the ferocity of a wild animal protecting its young.

“I-I’m not…” Nerevar began, though it felt like a lie on his tongue. He could still taste the metallic black in his mouth, the unnatural blood he was choking on. His body felt hot now, his mouth dry making the metallic taste all the more nauseating. “Lorkhan is dead!” He shouted definitively. Lorkhan was a dead god—long dead before Nerevar had ever been born as a lowly half blooded chimer in that ebony mine.

“And yet, here you are, alive and in the flesh.” Malacath responded, his expression unwavering. “I would know that heartbeat anywhere. I would know how you battle more than anyone else.”

“Stop it!” Nerevar shouted, covering his ears, still shaking.

“Why you deny it is my only question for you.”

“I’m not Lorkhan!” Nerevar growled, teeth bared. His whole body felt like it was burning, just like in the heart chamber. That supernatural chanting from his dream came back too, at the edges of his senses, as he fought back the urge to vomit. “I’m not Lorkhan, just shut up, shut up, shut up!!”

The next thing he knew, everything went black, the last thing he heard being his own heartbeat pounding in his ears and Voryn calling his name.

Nerevar’s eyes snapped open. His hands frantically touched at his chest, once again checking for the wound, only to find nothing. Still, the unmistakable ache was there, however faint.

“Where…?” He found himself someplace… Bizarre. There was stone architecture, that much he knew, but it seemed… Foreign, though they were in a state of disarray. It looked like some kind of abandoned tower, the roof having long since caved in, vines growing over stone. In the middle, where Nerevar was laying was soft grass and a few wildflowers. He sat up, looking around even further, confused.

“Damn Trinimac, causing problems again…” Someone behind him muttered, and Nerevar quickly turned to see--

Himself?

He jumped, panicked. No, no he could tell it wasn’t himself. He looked a lot like Nerevar, and sounded a lot like Nerevar, but there was something off about his appearance. He was taller than Nerevar--around Voryn’s height maybe? His hair was much longer too, not to mention he was wearing long robes Nerevar would never wear given how complicated and annoying they looked. Not to mention the longer he looked at him the more his appearance seemed to change--subtle ripples you had to focus on to know. His eyes subtly changed shape, along with his other features, sort of at random in moments where if you blinked you’d miss them.

“Apologies for that.” The man said, walking over and plopping down to sit next to Nerevar. “I never expected his followers to summon him, nor that he’d do something like that…”

“Who are you?” Nerevar asked, his heart still racing in his chest. The other simply plopped his chin in his hand, staring back at Nerevar, amused.

“You and your lover--both just asking questions instead of even trying to figure it out for yourselves…” He tsk-tsked with a soft click of his tongue and a shake of his head.

“How the hell am I supposed to know who you are?” Nerevar snapped. “I don’t even know where I am!”

“Easy, no need to raise your voice.” He still looked amused, despite Nerevar’s anger.

“Why in Oblivion do you look like me?” Nerevar demanded an answer now; he was in no mood to play games at the moment. He felt his heart being ripped out by that damn orc god and now he had someone playing mind games with him.

The other sighed.

“I am Lorkhan.” Nerevar’s blood ran cold.

“What…?” Nerevar stared in confusion and shock. “But Lorkhan is--”

“Dead?” He asked with a smirk and a quirk of his brow. “Don’t I know it.” Lorkhan then laughed heartily. “But when did that stop the dead from interfering with the living from time to time?”

“Why are you here?” Nerevar asked, leaning away from him.

“I thought it would be only fair to show myself to you after that stunt Trinimac pulled.” He explained. “Though I imagine the fact you were stabbed through the chest once before only made it that much harder for you.”

Nerevar was trying to figure out the situation he was in, putting the pieces together the best he could. Several daedra called him Lorkhan, and here was Lorkhan looking remarkably similar to Nerevar. Was it possible people were mixing them up based on appearance? That didn’t seem quite right; it would make sense for Malacath and potentially Dagon, but Dagon didn’t call him Lorkhan initially, and not to mention it wouldn’t explain the nords. He doubted the elf hating people of Skyrim would so readily accept an elven appearance for their chief deity. Nor did it explain the strange, supernatural beating of his heart that drove him to accomplish strange feats out of sheer willpower alone.

“... Why do you look like me?” Nerevar repeated his question again.

“Come now, I thought you’d be smart enough to figure that out.” Lorkhan laughed again.

“Answer me.”

“Well,” Lorkhan’s grin looked mischievous now. “It’s only fitting I look like you because I am you, don’t you think?”

This time a numbing tingle followed the chill in his blood. “Y… You…”

“Or well, I suppose it might be easier to understand if I say you’re a part of me.” Lorkhan continued. “You wouldn’t be the first mortal to be a fragment of me, anyways.”

“I’m not you!” Nerevar snapped, gritting his teeth. He did what he was best at: lashing out when he was truly scared and confused--when problems became too difficult to ignore or solve on his own. “I’m not you! I’m not Lorkhan!!”

Silence followed, the faint sound of birds chirping having vanished, the sky turning a stormy gray. He was panting from his outburst of yelling, but the screaming hadn’t really solved anything. Lorkhan was still sitting in front of him, looking at him with a serious expression, unphased. He was still in this crumbling tower, sitting in the grass.

How long could he run from this? Daedric princes called him Lorkhan. The nords called him Shor. The strange visions he received that only made sense if they were Lorkhan’s memories, not to mention his heart--

Nerevar curled up, hands moving up as he felt a pain in his chest, clutching his shirt tightly.

He was scared. He was scared and he didn’t know what was going on. He was terrified because ultimately, he didn’t know what this meant. He didn’t know what this made him.

Gingerly, two arms wrapped around him, pulling him up from the fetal position he curled himself into and into a warm embrace.

“Shh, it’s alright,” Lorkhan whispered, “Just let it out.” As soon as he said that, tears were flowing out of Nerevar’s eyes as he openly sobbing into his shoulder, holding onto him. Nerevar never really had a father--as the Nerevarine he was an orphan who didn’t really know who his parents were and as Nerevar his father was hunted down before the two of them ever met. But at that moment Nerevar couldn’t deny there was something paternal in the way Lorkhan held him gently, letting him cry and sob with arms that felt so much stronger than Nerevar could imagine. As alien as it was, he felt safe in his arms, the pain in his chest fading though he was still distraught and crying.

Eventually though, his tears died down to soft whimpers rather than open sobs, Lorkhan stroking his hair all the while.

“It’s alright.” He repeated, trying to reassure Nerevar.

“It’s not alright.” Nerevar countered. “If I’m just you that means I don’t really exist!” It was the truth; if he was just some shard of Lorkhan then he had no real identity of his own. He was just a piece of a larger whole, delusional in that it thought itself independent and separate. “No one really knows me. No one really loves me.” The person Voryn loved wasn’t even real, just a false identity of someone who denied who they truly were. Was the person Voryn actually loved just the pieces of Lorkhan that made up Nerevar? Lorkhan said there were other mortals like him--what if Voryn left him for someone who was a larger, better part of Lorkhan? “I’m just a part of you, an extension of you. I don’t have any thoughts or feelings of my own!”

“Hey now, that’s not true.” Lorkhan interjected. “If you had no thoughts or feelings of your own, how could you deny being me?”

“But--”

“You have thoughts and feelings and emotions of your own.” Lorkhan reiterated. “You have your own identity, your own history, your own relationships.” Lorkhan gently dried the tears on his cheeks, careful of the sharp nails on his hands. “You don’t have all the same traits as me, and likewise, how you act on things is entirely up to you.”

“But then how am I you?” Nerevar asked, apprehensive.

“Hm… How to explain this…” Lorkhan began, humming softly, trying to gather his thoughts. “... Do you know that sometimes people take cuttings from plants to make a new one?”

Nerevar did know that, though he’d never done so himself. He was bad at growing plants, but he’d heard of it a few times.

“When they take a cutting from a tree for instance, it was once a part of that tree.” Lorkhan continued. “One of the many, smaller branches of it. But with care and cultivation, it grows roots of its own, and then spreads itself deep into the soil as a little sapling, before finally growing into a tree itself.” Lorkhan then smiled at him. “You’re like a cutting made from me that grew into its own tree. We might be made up of the same things and bear the same fruit, but you might have different branches than me and grow in different ways.”

“... But what if someone only loves that tree because of its fruit?” Nerevar asked.

What if Voryn only loved him for the parts of him that were Lorkhan? What if, when Voryn found out, he became disillusioned? Why would he bother with having Nerevar as a lover if he was just a part of a larger whole? What if there was a better piece of Lorkhan out there to love, or he could simply worship the dead god in earnest to get closer to the source?

Lorkhan responded by pinching his cheek playfully, pulling Nerevar from his mental spiral.

“Then someone doesn’t really love that tree specifically, now do they?”

“But--”

“Trees are much more than the fruit they bear.” Lorkhan continued, cutting him off. “They provide shade in the sun, and shelter in the rain. They are homes for birds, and the wind whistles through the branches to make music, or even children play in the branches and leaves.” Lorkhan was still smiling at him warmly. “Even if they love the fruit it makes too, not just any fruit tree can be their tree. And if they only love the fruit, wouldn’t you prefer someone who really loved the tree to take care of it rather than someone who only cared about what the tree produced?”

Ah, Nerevar saw what he was getting at here. If Voryn only loved the parts of him that were Lorkhan and didn’t care about him otherwise, that meant he didn’t really love Nerevar. Nerevar’s hand reached over to caress the scar on his left shoulder gently, unable to really feel it through his shirt and armor, but comforted by the knowledge it was there nonetheless.

Would Voryn have really asked Nerevar to carve his name into him if he didn’t love Nerevar? Perhaps the rest of Lorkhan didn’t appeal to Voryn. Perhaps the other traits other mortals shared with Lorkhan weren’t the same as how Nerevar was. Nerevar wanted to trust Voryn with his heart and make this work--he shouldn’t be assuming once again that Voryn would be quick to leave him and replace him with someone else. Voryn committed to Nerevar.

“There we go.” Lorkhan smiled, seeing his stormy expression fade.

“... But I don’t know what any of this means.” Nerevar continued. “Why am I a part of you? What does any of this mean?” How was he supposed to move forward like this? How many other daedra would challenge him calling him Lorkhan? “How can I tell what’s my thoughts and abilities and what’s just yours? How can I tell if I’m even real?”

That was the part Nerevar was still grappling with. If he was called Lorkhan and acted like Lorkhan and did what Lorkhan was supposed to do… Didn’t that just make him Lorkhan? When he was the Nerevarine he slowly just assumed Nerevar’s memories, thoughts, and identity after he was sent back in time--or was going back in time not real either. “The future--what about my memories of the future? Are those fake too or--”

Lorkhan smiled softly, almost knowingly.

“Oh little star,” Lorkhan chuckled as though he was recounting something funny. “None of your memories of the future are real.”

“... Huh?” They weren’t… Real? “But Dagoth Ur--the Tribunal--” Didn’t Vivec have a vision of Nerevar being killed as king? That was in the future Nerevar saw as well.

“None of it was real.” Lorkhan was still smiling, but Nerevar was sent spiraling again.

It was all so real. Nerevar could feel it. He felt Vivec’s spear ramming through him. He could hear the hurt and betrayal in Dagoth Ur’s voice, along with the cold anger as he revealed he would never be able to trust Nerevar even if Nerevar had agreed to join him. Almalexia had attempted to kill him a second time as the Nerevarine, and he remembered fighting her after discovering Sotha Sil’s mangled corpse.

Panic set in then. If none of that was real then… Why did he not remember his past? Why had he dreamed up such a strange turn of events? Why--

“I’ll let you in on a little secret,” Lorkhan leaned in close, a devilish smirk on his face now. “I’m not real either.”

Nerevar blinked in shock, only to find Lorkhan was gone. In fact, everything was gone now, leaving Nerevar floating in an inky, black void.

Nerevar’s panic rose at that. It could have been Lorkhan just telling him he was a figment of Nerevar’s imagination and not actually the ghost of a dead god but… Nerevar knew that wasn’t the case. He could feel it, deep in the pit of his stomach, and the revelation was not a comforting one. He was left entirely untethered in this void, and looking down at his hands, he saw himself flickering in and out.

If Nerevar was Lorkhan, and Lorkhan didn’t exist, then that meant that he didn’t exist either. Really didn’t exist. It was so much more comfortable to imagine himself as a shard of Lorkhan, living and moving on its own, ignorant to the fact it was part of a larger whole.

A clawed hand touched his back and a sickening chill overtook him as he found himself in the heart chamber of Red Mountain once again. He was trembling as he continued to flicker in and out of existence. The heart’s rhythm was equally unsteady, stopping and starting at random, the sounds a disjointed mess.

If the heart of the world was not stable--was not real--then what did that make the world?

What did that make his friends? The people he loved?

What did that make Voryn?

A familiar voice called out to him, large, clawed hands gripping him tightly and pulling him in close.

“I told you once before,” Dagoth Ur began, “We are bound to the dreamsleeve together.” Nerevar knew that wasn’t right, but he didn’t know how to counter it either.

“I am the dreamer,” Dagoth Ur continued, “And this is all my dream, my sweet Nerevar.” Nerevar didn’t like the fondness in his tone. This was a twisted version of Voryn, corrupted and maddened, fully delusional. He preferred Voryn sane and warm, affectionate and protective. He didn’t want the delirious, maddened version of him that was Dagoth Ur.

Then, the two had changed locations. Instead of the heart chamber with the unsteady heartbeat echoing around them, they were in what seemed to be a rainbow colored river, all the different colors flowing in strange, glowing patterns. They moved up and down, left and right, forwards and backwards, swirls of color that flowed like incoherent water simultaneously both much thicker and almost syrupy than pure water, and also like it was barely there as they caressed his legs. Each movement came with a strange, fragmented thought, emotion, or memory.

“You are simply a part of my dream.” Dagoth Ur’s hands moved to the front of him now, caressing at his chest. “My most glorious, beautiful creation…”

Nerevar knew that wasn’t true either though. It was an instinctive knowledge, perhaps, but he could tell that was simply not the case. If there was a dreamer, it certainly wasn’t Dagoth Ur.

And then Nerevar looked to his hands to see he was a dunmer again, grey skin and all to match the equally grey hands on his chest. One of Nerevar’s hands moved to caress the scar left from corprus he got as a Nerevarine when he was forcibly attacked to infect him with it, sending him further in his quest, ironically. The scar was an ugly, messy thing--a gross mess of scar tissue trying in vain to form over an injury that wasn’t truly there, growing more mangled and grotesque by the day. Before he couldn’t remember where the attack was from Gares, as his memories of the Third Era faded more and more with his time in Resdayn like a hazy dream, leaving him unsure if it was on his chest, his stomach, his thigh, or his arm. But now he remembered it was--

All of them. He had been hit by the attack in all of those places, in different moments in time, in different versions of the same event. And in that way, it wasn’t one moment specifically but simply an event that could have played out differently, in a way bending and contorting around the flow of fate. And just as he realized it, the scar itself faded entirely.

“Nerevar, stop this.” Dagoth Ur warned, his voice concerned. Almost frightened if Nerevar was being honest, though he knew the other wouldn’t admit to it.

“It… Didn’t happen.”

“Yes, it did.” Dagoth ur stressed, but Nerevar stepped away from his hands, walking along the multicolored river. “Do you doubt your own memories? My own memories?” Dagoth Ur insisted. “Just as that was my dream, this too is my dream. A dream where we get to be together.” His voice took on a facsimile of warmth and affection. “A dream where nothing can keep us apart--”

“No,” Nerevar countered, his voice soft. “It happened and… It didn’t. Just how this… None of this is real either.” The thought wasn’t as scary as it was the first time around. In fact, the revelation seemed to almost bring some relief. He dipped his hand into the liquid that pooled around his thighs, running his fingers through it in what seemed to be an arbitrary pattern, relishing in the feelings that washed over him. Like this, he could make them seem coherent. Like this he could move them until he could faintly hear a song--

“Nerevar Mora, return to my side at once.” Dagoth Ur’s tone was threatening again. It seemed that Nerevar had gotten under his skin.

“You are not a god. I’m not a figment of your dream…” Nerevar could insist if anything he might be the one dreaming all of this up but… He knew that wasn’t quite right either. Lorkhan didn’t exist. Nerevar didn’t exist, so he couldn’t be the one dreaming. But he knew he wasn’t a figment of Dagoth Ur’s imagination, that was for certain. “... And you’re not a figment of mine.”

Dagoth Ur was in front of him again, clawed hands gripping his arms tightly while his teeth audibly grit from behind the gold mask. “If I am not the dreamer then you’re saying I don’t exist! Do you even understand what you’re saying?!” His hands gripped Nerevar’s arms even tighter, but Nerevar himself was unphased. “I exist because I say I exist. You exist because I allow you to exist.”

“Or have you forgotten your nightmares? The memories of me?” Dagoth ur changed gears now that he saw it wasn’t persuading Nerevar. “Have you forgotten the way you shuddered at my touch? Or the way I could make such sweet, passionate love to you that you forgot everything else?” Nerevar had to admit he did in fact enjoy those moments with Voryn; Nerevar loved nothing more than losing himself completely in Voryn’s body, of being unable to think about nothing else but how wonderful Voryn could make him feel. But Nerevar knew he couldn’t forget this whole mess even happened and fall readily back into Voryn’s arms, trying to delude himself that it was real. He knew he’d go mad even trying, unable to take joy from it as he tried to deny the reality he was confronted with before.

“Do not make me rip you asunder and remake you.” Dagoth Ur threatened, venom dripping off his tongue. But at the threat, Nerevar reached his hands out, cupping the golden mask in them, before throwing the mask off entirely.

His face looked like Voryn’s but so much older and more tired. His eyes were dead, glazed over and foggy, with only the third eye on his forehead seemingly capable of sight. His complexion was equally dead--ashen even for a dunmer. A dead sleeper who dreamed he was still alive, just as that wise woman said so long ago.

Nerevar leaned up, pressing a soft, gentle kiss to his lips. He didn’t like this maddened version of Voryn, but he knew he still loved him. He loved Dagoth Ur and mourned for him. As horrible as it was, it was a mercy for Nerevar to slay him as the Nerevarine. It was a mercy for things to return to the past so they could have a better future, one where Nerevar wouldn’t hurt him as cruelly as he did the first time around.

Then, just as the gentle kiss started, Nerevar pulled away, whispering softly. The words tumbled out of his mouth before he even realized it, but the truth spoken in them was more real than anything else he had seen.

“I already unmade you.”

Dagoth Ur stared down at him in shock, before, like ash in the wind, he faded. And Nerevar was left standing alone in the dreamsleeve.

Yet, something was gnawing at his psyche. If Dagoth Ur was not the dreamer and didn’t allow him to exist, then what was his purpose? If this was all a dream, then who was dreaming?

Dread washed over Nerevar again, overwhelming him as he felt like someone or something was watching him. Like he was a tiny insect crawling where he shouldn’t have, about to be crushed by the figure that finally realized he existed.

Yet, part of Dagoth Ur’s words made sense. He wasn’t real. None of this was real. Nerevar could either stand there and accept it and fade into the liquid around him and dissolve into nothingness…

Or he could insist he did exist. That he wanted to exist. That he wanted to continue on, in spite of how nonsensical it was.

“... I exist because I will it.” Nerevar knew he wasn’t the dreamer, but he existed in spite of it. He refused to vanish and become nothing more than a disjointed collective of memories free floating around him.

“Well done.” Lorkhan’s voice echoed, and Nerevar found himself once more in the black, inky void, outside of the dreamsleeve. “I was a bit afraid you might not be able to handle it,” He chuckled softly, “But I can see it was silly of me to worry. You already remade the world, you’d be ready to handle the revelation of the tower.”

“Was that… You?” Nerevar questioned, wondering if Lorkhan took on the appearance of Dagoth Ur just to help him along.

“No. What was in fact a remnant of Dagoth Ur, based on your memories.”

“My memories?” Nerevar raised a brow, as the crumbling tower and soft grass slowly came back into focus around him, real and present once more. It was more comfortable than just free floating anyways.

“Things can’t exist if nothing remembers them.” Lorkhan explained. “But you remembered him, so he continued hiding and lurking…”

“Would he…” Nerevar began, apprehensively. “Would Voryn have become him again…?”

“No.” Lorkhan’s voice was firm and confident, making Nerevar relieved. “Your beloved has already rejected that path.”

“Then how could he exist?”

“He existed outside of Voryn. A part of him and also not. Perhaps in a way also part of you?” It was a confusing explanation, but Nerevar supposed that was in line with everything else so far. “I suppose it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t exist anymore--not as he did just now.” Lorkhan hummed softly again. “Now he’s merely a memory, returned to water once more.”

“I… Don’t understand.” Once again, Lorkhan reached over to pinch Nerevar’s cheek.

“Yes you do, don’t lie to me about that.”

“I mean I get that he’s no longer a problem since I just saw him vanish but I don’t… Know how I did that.”

“He was mostly tied to you. It would have been very easy for anyone in those circumstances to cut him off.” Lorkhan clicked his tongue. “Then again, I suppose not everyone can be connected to the dreamsleeve and confront not existing as well as you did.”

“So I don’t exist?” It was a question, but not asking for an answer more so a confirmation that he was understanding it correctly.

“You don’t. And yet, you do.” Lorkhan confirmed, before elaborating. “All of us exist in that state. But I made Nirn in the first place because I realized it was impossible to move beyond that revelation and actually do something about it without real growth--growth that can only come from trial.”

“... What?” Now he was losing Nerevar. Go beyond the revelation of not existing? How would you even move past something like that?

“Dagoth Ur had a few things correct I’ll admit.” Lorkhan continued, almost rambling now given how little it made sense to Nerevar. “The trial of flesh is needed to overcome the dream…”

“Again, I don’t really understand.” Nerevar interjected, before Lorkhan sighed.

“Ah… Right. I’m getting ahead of myself.” He then reached over, pulling Nerevar into a hug once more. “We don’t have all day, unfortunately. Linear time still exists.” He gave Nerevar’s back a firm pat. “I would explain if I could but… Well, we’d be here for some time. I think your beloved is calling you.” A ringing was in Nerevar’s ears now, the rest of the dream getting fuzzier and fuzzier.

“Voryn…?” Nerevar asked, before his eyes cracked open.

He wasn’t in the grass, but laying on Voryn’s cot, blinking up in a confused daze. It was night, that he could tell from how dark it was in the tent. Beside him, he heard a gasp, as Voryn looked to him frantically.

“Oh thank gods,” Voryn looked close to tears. “Nerevar, do you have any idea how worried I was?” He cupped Nerevar’s cheek, his hand warm and familiar. It felt like Nerevar had been away for ages and also hardly any time at all. “I thought I almost lost you again…”

“I’m alright,” Nerevar sat up slowly, but his arms felt weak. “How long was I out for…?”

“More than a day.” Voryn explained, before helping support Nerevar’s upper body, settling Nerevar to lean against him. “Nothing we did could wake you up. We wanted to raze that damn orc camp to the ground,” He could hear the anger in Voryn’s voice. “But Malacath said his people would assist us and that you would wake up in time.”

Nerevar could tell Voryn hadn’t believed the prince--not after what seemed like an attack on Nerevar.

“I’m fine now.” Nerevar insisted, stroking Voryn’s face. “I’m--”

“Is he awake?” Vivec asked from outside the tent, and Voryn stiffened under Nerevar’s weight.

“He just woke up--” Voryn began, “Give him a few minutes to regain his senses before you shake him down for answers.”

Vivec entered the tent now, his brow furrowed. “You swore I could ask my questions when he awoke.”

“At least give him until the morning.” Voryn pleaded. Vivec looked between the two of them, and it seemed that Nerevar looked haggard enough for Vivec to relent, though he was unhappy about doing so.

“Fine,” Vivec scowled, leaving the tent once more. “In the morning I want answers.”

#wip #my writing #moon and star #moon and star spoilers #nerevoryn #indoril nerevar #nerevar #voryn dagoth

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send-up-my-heart-to-you · 1 year ago

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FINALLY, ive finished 25% of exile, the second book in the kotlc series. here are some thoughts i had :)

tags: @aylin-hijabi, @that-multi-fandom-hijabi, @tastetherainbow290, @nerdy-girl3791 (im tagging everyone who asked to be tagged in my notes for book one, but lmk if you wanna be tagged too / dont wanna be tagged anymore)

first off, why are second books in a series always the ones that take the most time / are harder to start? ig it could be that we've already established the worldbuilding n main characters, but its still that dragging stage between *where you already know mostly everything in the universe* and *where the climax builds up in anticipation of the "final battle" or the beginning of the third act, usually*. nothing to do w the book itself, just an observation

second off, alicorns are so much more important than being just "another species to save", im sure of it. theres wayyy too much of the council getting involved n talk abt how alicorns are sooo important. to anyone whos read percy jackson it kinda reminds me of the ophiortaurus (bessie) from sea of monsters, who seemed to be a recurring animal side character who turned out to have a lot of significance to the very universe they were in. im expecting smth similar, why else would everyone go to such lengths to ensure alicorns dont go extinct? or maybe im overthinking it lmao but what gives it away is the heckses literally tryna kidnap silveny-

speaking of the heckses, who the fuck tries to steal an alicorn. stinas parents are the whiniest bitches ive ever seen, and im a fifteen year old girl. like cmon ive seen some drama queens over the years, but those two- also, fucking stina. i mentioned before that i hope to see some character development w her, so shes not just the boring one-dimensional mean girl thats prevalent in literally every piece of media thats come out since mean girls w regina george. clearly not yet, tho, but im waiting on it (if it does not happen i will be majorly disappointed)

also, delving into theories now. its kinda far-fetched, but, was brant w the black swan ? i mean, it would add up pretty decently. it would explain why his guilt for jolies death runs so deeply (since grady rlly rlly seems to believe that the black swan killed her) because he would be with the literal organization that killed her. it would also explain reeeeaaaaalllllyyyy well why he recognized sophie. the fact that he knew her was wayy too emphasized to mean nothing. idk JUST A THEORY, its not based off of anything other than it would fit nicely w everything else.

but also if grady is so adamant that it was the black swan, and (hypothetically) brant is w the black swan, then would it be improbable to assume that he killed her? which would explain the guilt even MORE. but then again, he does seem to love her, so that last part is added very tentatively. (maybe he killed her by accident... but then would the note to grady three days before her death just be a coincidence? im sure that has some deeper meaning.)

maybe it wasnt the black swan who sent those notes to grady...

to end on a funnier note: alicorn poop. sophie faceplanted into alicorn poop. it happens to all main characters, it always has to be someone walking in at the worst moment. i thought id be the vackers w keefe who show up n embarass her, but who better than the council to get humiliated in front of ? i dont hate sophie i just laugh at her pain

i think thats all for the 25% mark, im gonna keep reading today. im gonna go to my grandmas house so maybe i can get a couple hundred pages in !!!

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th3-c0ll3ct3r · 2 days ago

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Vivziepop is genuinely too smart to make Octiva character a "repeat" or smth

I want to hold firm with the theory that Stella ( / Aldruphous cooked up this plan) , has slowly been removing bits of her happy memories with Stolas, so any progress that Octiva made with developing a relationship with her father is continually undone because they're removing her memories.

And imma say it's Stella's Goetia ability. Because let's be real, Aldruphous is a frosty boy and the only thing that's cold about stella is her personality

We already know from some live stream (not leaks like they happened on youtube) that Aldruphous was neglected as a child.

And I would like to argue making their sibling dynamic even worse that their step siblings

And that Aldruphous' farther never really lived up to the expectations he was meant to so in turn his mother was given a new husband. Making Stella, the perfect daughter and the rest is history.

Aldruphous won't really grasp the full aspect of why they couldn't have the same Dad but what he probably will understand is that he definitely needs to be better and that he needs to live up to greater expectations.

It would give him a motive that doesn't seem very blank and empty, and it would also explain a lot of things.

1. Why him and Stella lack alot of qualities. We know that goetia demons don't have to be birds, we've seen a Tiger/Cat demon before. And it's yet to be confirmed what species of birds Stella is. We know Aldruphous is a Peacock, but Stella looks nothing like a female Peacocks, and is labelled in the wiki as a "White avian".

It seems like a detail that was purposely left out so that it could suggest that the similarity between her and her brother is that they're both birds but not from the same species and that's what makes them different solidifying them a Step siblings.

2. Stella wasn't given the same or even similar "royal duties", and it would genuinely be a waste of a Goetia to literally give birth to them for the only purpose for them to get married. We know from live streams also that Stella was the favourite child, and in a world where power means everything why would you favour a child that has no power nor any responsibilities?? That's because her responsibilities and/ or her powers aren't made as evidence as other people's and is seen as useful yet a lesser power.

Aldruphous ability is probably time managed the cold, which in Hell doesn't seem too useful.

This leads me to point 3

3. Stella royal duties were desired and quite useful. As we know you can literally pass on royal duties and essentially magic abilities to people if they have the proper equipment to get there.

I would argue Stella was born with her "royal duties" /ability, and that's why she doesn't have a special item or a certain skill that could get her in trouble if she didn't have it because all she needed was herself.

And I believe Stella's power is emotional manipulation/ the ability to distort someone's memories and mental health.

In Helluva Boss mental health has been a large arc for alot of character, but always comes up with royalty, and it would explain how she gets what she wants.

How Aldruphous does get mad at her but then says "you're so lucky that you're beautiful". We know that for 1. He's covering up his sexuality. 2. He wants to seem more normal because he's very isolated. But what if it was because Stella as stupid as she is realized that she was the favorite child and then was able to use her abilities to make her older brother always see her as a beautiful, useful and Powerful even though she really isn't.

It would also explain why Octiva never really learns the morals of any of her memories but still remember them. Like she never gets the correct interpretation of the meanings that Stolas is trying to convey, but she remember them happening. And the reason why she can't remember the emotion from those moments is because Stella removed them, being advised by her older brother to keep them vaguely the same so that Stolas would not catch on but keep them different enough for her to resent him even after gaining his forgiveness.

Literally planting seeds of doubt within her memory that aren't true.

And for Stolas, when she said she was going to make him miserable she did it literally with her abilities. She made him so dependent on pills, and made him always seem in a continually state of depression, because she purposely wanted him to be miserable.

How she had so many friends and parties, because she emotionally manipulated people into liking her more.

The magical and goettic ability to have control over people's emotions and their emotions within memories.

4. Since they're immortal, there would be no need for Stolas and Stella to continue having more children as there would be no need to pass on the abilities. Stella could just have this power for realistically ever, or until they thought she'd lived long enough and they need a "just incase" heir. And because of this Octiva whether she had that power or not could just learn Stolas abilities if she didn't gain Stella's.

So yeah that's my helluva boss theory

TLDR: Aldruphous and Stella are step siblings, and reason why Stella was the favourite it's because her goettic magical is being able to distort the memories and the emotions within memories of people allowing her to manipulate her way through situations which explains Stolas doubt, misery etc... Aldruphous' obsession with her. And Octiva forgetting all the moral and lessons she had with Stolas. And the only reason why Octavia didn't inherit these abilities is because you had to be born with them and that's why Stella does not have a special magical item that could be stolen or used. It's because she's born with them.

#Silly helluva boss theory for the girlie's #helluva boss theory #helluva theory #helluverse #stella helluva boss #helluva boss stella #helluva boss stolas #helluva boss andrealphus #Helluva boss Aldruphous #I just now realised that I have been spelling his name wrong and I am the first Google result that comes up if you spell his name the way I+#Have spelled it #Fuck #I literally spelled it how it said how did you guys understand me #helluva stella #Helluva Aldruphous #helluva andrealphus #helluva octavia

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cringelordofchaos · 11 months ago

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HELLO FELLOW JACKSON'S DIARY FAN

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR A FEW OF MY THEORIES FOR JD? Yeah you do.

Please tell me your thoughts. 1) S1 E1 started with Jackson's dream, S2 E1 started with Exer's dream, so S3 E1 might start with David's dream, or maybe someone else's. 2) Throughout S2, Timothy got a few close-ups, so he might play a bigger role in S3. 3) Since we're pretty sure Lucy-furr was created by the diary, it's possible that she already had powers before getting hit with Exer's lightning bolt.It would also explain why she wasn't hurt by Exer's bolt, maybe having the powers means she isn't affected by his? Then again, Exer would get electrocuted so idk. 4) Harry has seen the doodle of Lucy right before she was taken by Exer, he's also read through most of the diary. He might start realizing that Jackson and Exer are connected by it in S3. 5) Marco (Pamela's older brother) is mentioned to have had terrible experiences from high school, so we might get a backstory for him 6) now that Jackson somewhat understands how the diary works, do you think he'll get revenge on Exer for all of the bullying? Would he give himself magic? There are so many things he could do with it now, but I hope he tells someone (probably Pamela or the detention kids) about it first. SORRY FOR THE LONG ASK, I JUST DON'T KNOW MANY OTHER JD FANS AHDFKAJDHFKAH

HELLO

im sorta outta my jd obsession for now but I'll definitely return in a bit

I think that makes sense, but I am also not exactly sure of it? Cuz I feel like the focus has always been on more Exer and Jackson rather than anyone else bc they both specifically have smth to do w magic. (Jackson is the only one who can see it and was directly attacked by it, Exer creates the magic, you get it?) Though it would make sense for him to take more center. I say all this cuz him having a dream at the start of a season would imply that HE would get more attention that season (like Exer w season 2) sorry if none of what I had said made any sense

That would be cool !!!

Oh that actually makes sense? It could also be that Jackson simply created a normal cat, and then it was given magic, but that seems pretty plausible

Exers dad has got to find that detail out at one point, even though it would traumatize him to death and back he would then probably find out more details abt how it affected Exer and what he could've goje through

Oh that would also be cool! Though he doesn't seem to have much of a role besides being Pamela's Cool Older Brother with occasionally advice to give to her, it would be nice to get more out of his character

THIS SHIT. I'VE BEEN THINKING ABT IT AND. IDK. I think it's a bit more probable that he just stops using the diary all together or experiments a bit and he'll probably have multiple breakdowns over it. HOPEFULLYYYY He talks to someone about it. Maybe he'll try to get an absolute confirmation from Exer to see if he's actually dating David first though I'm not sure if he would directly ask it. Maybe. Just maybe he would feel a bit guilty? Or fulfilled ?? Knowing that Exer DID feel the same pain Jackson did ?? Like Jackson wished for during one therapy session??

FELL FREE RO ASK MORE QUESTIONS SORRY I RUSHED THE ASK ANSWER

#asks #webtoon #jd #jacksons diary #jackson's diary #exer campbell #david miller #jackson smith

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therainscene · 1 year ago

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2/5. lights confuse me so much in general. like, why does it require effort from will in s1 and teens in s4 to make lights flicker, but in the presence of smn/smth dangerous lights flicker by themselves? also, why do people and vecna affect lights directly from the UD but demogorgons & the flesh monster only affect lights in the normal dimension? i'm sure monsters are always roaming in the UD, but they don't mess with lights in hawkins the way vecna does (i suppose he does it unintentionally, so the lack of effort doesn't explain anything to me)

Hi, thanks for sending me these asks about the Upside Down! I'm going to address all five of them in this post -- but I'm going to leave this particular question for last. You'll see why in a bit.

First though, you're getting a rolled-up newspaper to the snoot for calling yourself stupid and your questions dumb. 🗞️🐶 There are still a lot of mysteries in this show, and questioning its inconsistencies is exactly how you solve them!

Why is the Upside Down literally upside down at some points but oriented the right way up at other points?

The Upside Down isn't literally upside down; that's just a visual metaphor the show uses to illustrate its trippy extra-dimensional nature. I wrote a post explaining the basics of extra-dimensionality a while ago that you might find interesting.

Why are the Christmas light decorations at the Snow Ball visible in the Upside Down if it's supposed to be frozen on 6th Nov 1983?

We know from the teens using Holly's Lite Brite in S4 that electronic lights in the real world naturally produce glowing particles in the corresponding spot in the Upside Down, even if those devices weren't there on 6th Nov 1983. Most likely that's what we're seeing at the Snow Ball.

Alternatively, it could be the case that the flow of time in the UD is more complicated than S4 led us to believe, and the Snow Ball lights will make more sense once we've watched S5. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What's up with the random temporary gate in the tree that Nancy uses to visit the Upside Down in S1?

Nancy's tree isn't the only weird gate -- we see lots of temporary portals open throughout S1.

The show doesn't explain how these work beyond heavily associating them with Demogorgon attacks, and I think we're supposed to assume that the Demogorgon is opening them itself. This would explain Nancy's tree -- the Demogorgon was nearby at the time.

The trouble is, this raises far more questions than it answers. Why don't Demogorgons seem to use portals outside of S1, especially the ones imprisoned at Kamchatka? Was that one Demogorgon from S1 just a special boy with unique abilities? Why did Vecna need to wait for a gate to be opened by El if his minions were capable of opening their own gates? Did the Mothergate "unlock" this ability while open and "lock" it again when closed? If so, why no temporary gates in S2?

We're not supposed to know the answer to these questions yet; it's pretty clear that they're saving it for some big reveal in S5. I have a theory on what that reveal might be... but that's for another post.

Why are the circumstances of El banishing Henry to the Upside Down in S4 so different from when she does the same thing to the Demogorgon in S1?

On a literal level... yeah. The differences don't make a lot of sense. It's probably safe to assume that El opened a portal in S1 like she did in S4, and it had already closed itself by the time the particles dissipated enough to unblock our view... but as for how she ended up in the Upside Down, and why the Demogorgon wasn't in there with her...?

To answer this one, I think it's helpful to remember that literal readings only get you so far when you're dealing with a story as steeped in metaphor as Stranger Things.

When El banished Henry to the Upside Down, it was a triumphant act of self-defense, asserting her autonomy against an abuser. But when she banished the Demogorgon, it was a tragic act of self-sacrifice -- she defeated it (thus why it disappears), but at the cost of remaining stuck in the "weapon" role Brenner had forced her into her whole life.

Both Henry and El were at a low point when they "died", and getting sent to the Upside Down afforded them an opportunity to start a new journey of self-discovery free from Brenner's influence. But while One stayed there and became Vecna, Eleven chose to escape and be "reborn" as El.

[The rebirth symbolism really couldn't be any more on-the-nose. 👀 Speaking of this portal -- you wondered where it came from -- it's the same one the Demogorgon burst through in the S1 finale.]

And so we've arrived at your final question.

In my opinion, the lights are part metaphor, part mystery being saved for S5.

I think I'd need to comb through the whole show double-checking every instance of the lights flickering to properly address the mystery stuff, and unfortunately I don't have time for that right now. But I'll say this much: I think you're on the right track for questioning the way the lights behave, because it's possible the show has been misleading us into thinking we're looking at one thing (let's say a monster) when really we were looking at something else (let's say a kid with powers).

As for the metaphor? When Will and the teens were trapped in that cold, dark, despairing realm from which it seemed like there was no escape, what saved them was reaching out to the light of hope -- their loving friends and family.

Even El, who escaped all by herself, was still beckoned back to the real world by its light shining through the portal.

At the end of the day, that's what this show is about: love and hope conquering the despair of being different and rejected and abused. Bearing that in mind makes it a lot easier to figure out what's going on with the lights and the Upside Down, in my opinion.

It's why monsters only make the lights flicker or go out when they breach containment and enter our world: because they're destroyers of hope. It's also why powers sometimes make the lights flicker and sometimes make them surge: being different can be difficult to cope with... but it's also a beautiful and valuable thing to be.

#stranger things #el hopper #henry creel #demogorgon #my analysis #ask

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ozlices · 1 year ago

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having Thoughts abt the gin is miley's son theory i wanna talk abt,,

my apologies in advance if anything we say has been said numerous times already. this game is super complex w a Lot of content we are still working our way through, both from the actual game and within the fandom, so! bare with us please lol

anyway, so.

one of the most compelling things for me wrt the theory is that gin is targeted in pretty much every chapter by a trap. lots of things seem to be set up specifically so he, as a young child with a very pure heart, would be targeted. like the twist about the tokens in chapter 2, for example. which could be a thing because they're aware of miley's intentions and want to get rid of him to stop her.

i feel like,,, if the theory is true, miley's intention was to join the games as a floormaster so she could have power in it to ensure gin's safety. even if he's not on her floor, she has still shown to be manipulating things to ensure he makes it out, like with gashu, making sure everyone knew of his transgressions so they had an out if it was needed.

i feel like her goal would be ensuring that he wins so they can take down the games from the inside, since it's pretty universally accepted that the reward for winning is to most likely become the new asunaro leader.

and, easily, her motive could be tons of resentment for driving her lover mad and making him an alcoholic, and also resentment for forcing her son to participate in something like this.

it would also make sense for her seeming to hate sara and trying to target her. i'm sure the floormasters know what everyone's role is meant to be, including that sara is meant to be the winner. she probably holds resentment towards her for that, but. sara is also very clearly probably the most precious person to gin in the games.

he fully sees her as a big sister figure, to a point where she's the person he runs to first when he needs to be consoled and held during a breakdown.

if it came down to just gin and one other person, the others would protect him sure, but sara is the only one that miley would be able to confidently believe would do whatever it took to protect him. she has had that exact notion tested numerous times, and never falters on that desire, even if it comes with a brutal cost.

i just think this theory adds so many interesting angles to so many dynamics within the games. if gin is miley's son, perhaps she knew he'd get attached to sara, so she agreed to help ensure sara's victory because she knew she'd protect him and ensure his victory as well.

after all, maple confirms it is possible for two winners to win since a majority vote cannot be held with just two people. if miley can assure that sara wins, and sara had to come down to picking anyone over gin, sara would undoubtedly pick gin. the only person she might've picked over him is joe, and he's gone, so.

idk! i truly do not know but this is the theory i've seen that i've thought about the most and that compels me the most and i really cannot wait to see whether or not it comes to fruition in the finale, and How it comes to fruition if it is true cause it's. so good.

edit cause i just realized smth else: this would also explain what gin was doing when he went back down to the first floor and why he was safe. he was visiting his mom, and was unable to let the others know. it also makes sense as to why he's able to endure so much trauma and hardship at such a young age. he knows he has not just sara, but his mother watching over him and looking out for him as well.

#mine #not to mention i have seen ppl like. complaining [side eyes] that gin has plot armor & get annoyed bc 'oh he's a kid'#i mean.... kanna is. also a kid. she was no exempt from having a route where she kicks the bucket #but if his ~plot armor~ was bc he quite literally has his mother in the games working behind the scenes #to ensure he wins no matter what... that would be. really lit and interesting #especially if the theories abt kai possibly being alive are also true. like. ooooooo #showdown between kai and miley trying to ensure their respective loved one wins #and a whole ass big ass anime passion fight scene abt love and friendship breaks out #that'd be good. that could be easily twisted to be the most heartfelt beautiful thing ever #or the most soulcrushing way ever #very fitting for this game #IM COOKING GUYS #yttd #yttd spoilers #yttd theory

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foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland · 2 years ago

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long ranty post ahead abt my own experiences w learning instruments and playinf sports

dude yknow what i miss but also dont. playing sports n playing instruments. bc ive done quite a few different of each just in the past. like i was actually a Big football kid when i was around 5 but hated the club i went 2 bc i was the only girl and basically couldnt play bc even at fucking 5 i wasnt treated as an equal player. but also i didnt rlly mind that it was more so how aggressive it was and i didnt like being pushed around n kicked n shit. and i also played cricket which i liked i just timed it badly bc it was around a year where my immune system just fuckin gave up on me and i was sick like every other week and it out me off cricket bc i always felt so guilty for not being able 2 play it that often. n i also played tag rugby which i loved i just hated my coach she was an asshole she made these like 9 yr old kids do some baddd shit. like one time we played a match against another school and it was a cold wet rainy muddy day and i had played a couple times only and was already in so much pain and i went to her fucking in tears bc i had so many scrapes and i could barely feel my hands from the cold and every time i was passed the ball it literally hurt so fucking much and she ucking LAUGHED at me and told me 2 shut up and deal w it bc i agreed 2 play tag rugby so i was gonna do it under any conditions. like i wanted 2 kill her in that moment and i fucking shouldve i remember that moment so fucking clearly bc it was the absolute worst for me i could barely fucking do school work for ages after that bc my hands hurt so fucking much from not being allowed a goddam break when i was 9 years old. anyways yea sports is fun tho its just unfortunate situations. and i rlly wanna do cricket again or atleast like rounders or smt. man americans r actually right w this one tho baseball sounds so much better than rounders rounders sounds like a baby sports baseball sounds like. cool. anyways also w instruments it was a similar sorta thing. i played piano 4 likeee 3 or 4 years and basically picked up nothing lol other than basic music theory but thats expected bc i was like 7 or 8 on average . i also played the flute for another like 2 or 3 years which i was better at and actually played at concerts n shit but i quit that too bc i hated the stress i got from it bc i hated practicing and i hated the structure of my lessons and i hated my schools wind band i was forced 2 join and fucking guilt tripped not to leave bc i was the best player or w/e even tho i fucking hated that bc it put so much pressure on me at like 10 yrs old bc i did all the loud melody bits so if i made a mistake everyone would notice and i hated it. i also tried the cello and the guitar 4 like a month each which i also hated. now im explaining all this i kinda sound like a rich snob. well my initial point was gonna b how sports and music didnt feel 2 different. like ill use tag rugby and the flute 4 my example bc i did those things at around the same time and they were the ones i cared abt the most. but like. it felt like there was a sorta path drawn out for me in both cases. sometimes w the sheet music and sometimes w the playing field. altho i didnt know how 2 sight read and i am also not very observant so u might think oh ok i followed the path drawn out 4 me. but in both cases it felt like i was winging it int he same way. 4 the flute i always wrote the note names (and had many meltdowns over being forced 2 play w sight reading even tho i didnt wanna learn 2 sight read bc i could always just write the note names) but id write it out and instead of like. reading ahead. i just played what was in front of me. and it felt like each time i played it was like. a match or smth and i was just holding out and holding out and skipping over mistakes until i got to the end. and id never plan out the route id take first it was always just my reaction time i relied on which to be fair was not a good idea bc i have dogshit reaction time. but in tag rugby id do essentially the same. when i was on the offensive team, id usually be in front since i was good at avoiding being touched which i realise now is probably a result of my parents bc i was like constantly ready 2 avoid bein hit n shit. but i was always in front but i could never just see the whole playing field so i focused on like. exactly what was directly around me and just depended on my reaction time to avoid being tagged out. and idk i was just thinking. the exhaustion i felt after playing the flute for so long and never being taught how to breathe properly only that i should and the exhaustion i felt after playing sports for so long and never being told how to improve and only what i did wrong and the exhaustion i always felt after being in my house 4 so long and never being told what i was supposed to do and only how everything i was doing was wrong and. yea. connections between childhood trauma and playing music and playing sports.

#night thoughts #vent #i think if i could think straight #id make a mini comic outta smth like this

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amethystskeleton · 5 months ago

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Whoops my hand slipped, here's the whole essay :)

I’ve gotten a few requests for the full essay on this, which I am more than happy to oblige (really it’s only enabling me to rant about this idea and the mess that the writers caused by creating Theo as a character, which I am thrilled to talk about). First and foremost, warning for a long post. Secondly, I am genuinely so pleased that other people were interested in this when I posted it, because as I said, this has been something that has been rattling around in my brain since FOREVER. This is half a theory that comes from the writers not really understanding exactly what the existence of Theo as a character meant for the show (which is a whole other essay), and half from actual in-show evidence. This is all a personal interpretation though so please don’t take this as me trying to explain or follow canon perfectly.

This will also deal with Theo and Malia specifically during Season 5A and 5B. Stiles is also pretty heavily prevalent with both Theo and Malia during this time frame, and there is a particular theory I have that ties Stiles in here as well. However, it takes too long and requires too much suspension of disbelief to put in an essay like this rather than in fanfic format. So if anyone is specifically interested in a Stiles scene or moment from the show and how that might tie in, feel free to ask, but I’m not going to include the Stiles' involvement in all of this in essay formatting. (Maybe it will be a future fanfic or smth lol)

Also in general, yes I have watched all 6 seasons and I have seen 5A and 5B recently, but I’m not watching them while writing this, so everything here is based off of what I remember.

That said, let's get into the essay!!

So the main question here bothering me about this was ‘what was the mission given to Theo by the Dread Doctors when he showed up in Beacon Hills?’

We know that the Dread Doctors showed up and got Theo to kill Tara between the ages of seven and eight. However Stiles then tells us that Theo didn’t leave town until he was nine or ten, so depending on exactly when things happened, there was at minimum 1-2 years where Theo was a chimera and still hanging around Beacon Hills.

For me, this indicates that the Dread Doctors were willing to keep him around for a reason outside of just the Beast experiment. They clearly had a use for him and it was enough that they would keep him around and keep him safe despite being a “failure” in their eyes. I believe that this manifested in the form of Theo completing missions for the Dread Doctors that they themselves couldn’t do.

When Gerard caught up with them in the tunnels and stopped them with the frequency emitter we see that they do have weaknesses. Being with them for eleven years Theo could have those weaknesses trained out of him as he wasn’t bound by the same limitations as the Doctors. Even though he is naturally more vulnerable to high pitched noises like Scott and other supernatural creatures, over time that resistance to noise could be built up. Which could lead to him being able to defend the Doctors against their weaknesses if the need arose.

So then we get to Episode One of S5A and Theo shows back up in Beacon Hills after eleven years. At this point he has survived and thrived with the Dread Doctors. He is very clearly good at his job and good at what he does. When Belasko breaks out of that wall with the assistance of Parrish, the first thing Belasko does is go after Scott. Now, if the Dread Doctors had placed Theo there to kill Scott, it makes no sense to send Belasko first. Belasko was already bleeding black liquid (mercury?) and doesn’t seem to be doing too well. There was no way he would have survived a fight with an Alpha, let alone a True Alpha with a full pack backing him.

And yes the Dread Doctors could have placed him in the wall in order to keep him from breaking out on his own. Something which Parrish reversed by breaking him out, but if they were so worried about Belasko getting out, they would have just killed him. It seemed like they wanted to see if he was able to get out and survive like Theo did when he had his experiments.

Additionally, with Belasko showing up as he did, it allowed for the pack to find out about the existence of chimera’s way faster than they probably would have without Belasko. Doing this and having Belasko out in the field, put Theo at a higher risk of discovery. Now the Dread Doctors probably didn’t care that much about the risk to Theo, however, at this point in time a risk to Theo was a risk to them as well.

Scott ends up ripping the talons out of Belasko. But Belasko didn’t seem to be doing too well before them anyways. Due to the lack of any other evidence of experiments being done to him, it’s reasonable to assume that the claws were the thing his body was rejecting.

We see with both Theo and Corey that it is possible for a chimera to remain somewhat stable and not die from the experiments. I believe this is because the DNA needs to “match” in order to maintain stability whenever something is added to the body. Belasko’s talons were not something that he showed evidence of being able to retract, this implies that they were added onto after the fact and after being fully created separate from Belasko. With the talons, I theorize they were a mixture of eagle DNA and coyote DNA. Thus why the werewolf side of Belasko rejected them. They had the eagle chimera DNA in them but not a wolf’s DNA to match with Belasko who was a werewolf and garuda (i.e. wolf and eagle chimera).

The reason I theorize it was coyote DNA and not wolf DNA was after Theo betrayed Malia and Braeden to the Desert Wolf, she tosses Theo the talons and when he catches them we see his eyes glow at the same time as the talons. This could happen due to the coyote DNA within Theo. Since he is a mixture of wolf and coyote DNA it would be a 50/50 chance of the talon’s working for him. If the coyote side was strong enough he would be able to steal power, but if the wolf side of him was too strong it would have killed him like it did with Belasko.

When Stiles shows up at the McCall house with the talons later on, Malia gets them onto her own claws and we see her eyes glow. Since the 100% coyote DNA within Malia matched to the coyote DNA in the talons, there was a 100% chance of it working and her being able to steal that power from her mother.

Now prior to this when Scott gives Stiles the talons to bring to Malia he says that it was “something he had been working on for a while” and that it “was plan A”. He obviously knew about the threat of the Desert Wolf to Malia long before this; he just didn’t know how personal it was. I believe that he realized; a, what the talons did, when Belasko tried to steal his own power and b, that letting Malia go through with it was the best way to keep Malia safe against her mother as the Desert Wolf would let nothing but death stop her from getting her power back from Malia.

Additionally, since he went through with the plan after his own death, Scott may have thought it was the only way to regain Malia’s trust and show her that he still trusted her in turn. We see in his conversation with his mom after she resurrects him that he feels like he’s lost his whole pack. She points out that he still has hope to give them. Scott sending the talons to Malia was him giving hope and trust over to her hands. He believed in what she was doing, and while he might not have liked that it came down to that, he knew what he was doing by sending her the talons. These realizations wouldn’t have been possible without Scott’s own death and the loss of his pack, both of which Theo facilitated.

During the conversation with Stiles at the gas station/while picking up Kira, Scott reveals that he always believed that he should be the one to “get blood on his hands” as a repayment for asking his friends to give up so much for him and his mission. I believe that by sending the talons, it's Scott’s way of dipping his own hands into the blood as well. He’s making sure that Malia doesn’t feel isolated in her guilt over the death of her mother.

With bringing in Deucalion Theo knew Scott would ally himself to Deucalion, (although he probably didn’t know the full extent of their alliance until the big reveal) and would be able to tell Scott about the talons. Deucalion would confirm how they worked with Scott which would cement Scott’s plan for Malia into place. Deucalion would also be able to steal the talons back and get them to Scott who could get them to Malia.

While there were other, less dramatic, ways to go about getting Scott to understand this point, Theo killing him and separating the pack up, worked as a distraction to get Scott behind Malia’s original plan, to get Malia behind her original plan, and split the pack up so they never realized that everything happening was intentional.

Malia is the one character who’s goals/plans never seem to change throughout Theo’s appearance. We see Liam go from wanting Scott to save Hayden to then wanting to kill Scott to save Hayden. We see Stiles go from wanting to stay close and protect Scott to then wanting to keep Scott from finding out what happened with Donovan. Malia’s goals stay consistent from the beginning and are only invigorated by Theo’s words, actions and choices.

Additionally, during 5A we see that Theo’s main people who he manipulates are the three people most heavily involved with Malia and the death of the Desert Wolf. Obviously there is Malia who did the killing. Then there’s Scott who got Malia the talons in order to help steal her mothers power. And then there’s Stiles who brought Malia the talons. Before his reveal as a villain however, we see that these three are the main ones Theo focuses on. He becomes the therapist friend for Scott, he helps Stiles cover up the death of Donovan and he helps Malia with the plan to kill her mother.

Focusing on the actual process of Theo’s mission however, there are two key things that don't make sense if Theo’s mission had been to kill Scott. First and foremost is his focus on Malia. We see time and time again he puts all his energy into getting close to Malia (and Stiles but he’s not important rn). He intentionally interacts with her and makes it very clear from the get go that he’s willing to help her go after her mother.

He’s allying himself to Malia’s cause more than to Scott’s cause if he was just trying to gain access to the pack. He could have just as easily gotten himself into Scott’s pack by making them all push Malia away in fear of what she was going to do to her mother and then taking that spot of trust for himself. But he didn’t, he made Malia trust him specifically in regards to her mother and plan.

The second thing that doesn’t make sense about this, is when Liam goes after Scott. We don’t see any part of Theo’s conversation with Liam prior to Liam entering the library. All we have is the word of various different characters stating Theo’s involvement in that process. In fact the first time I watched S5 I thought the reason that we never saw Liam and Theo’s conversation outside of the library was because it was going to be revealed that the Liam in the library was another chimera shapeshifter who had shifted under Theo’s orders to look like Liam.

Overall, if Theo’s goal had been to kill Scott, steal his power and get him out of the way, it would make more sense for there to be a greater focus on Theo’s relationship and direct manipulation of Liam. With it the way that it is, it seems as if Liam was more aware of his own actions and choices rather than being the focus of Theo’s manipulation. Not to say that Theo played no part in Liam’s fight with Scott because he undoubtedly did. But if the focus was on the stealing of that power, then Theo would have needed to put more focus into Liam rather than Malia

That might be a small piece of evidence comparatively, but it’s such a poignant thing to me.

However, the one thing that really tied this whole idea together for me was right before the Desert Wolf broke into the McCall house. Braeden sees the mountain ash was broken and then Tracy walks by the door. Tracy and the Desert Wolf had never interacted on screen before that. So that means that the Desert Wolf had some form of contact with Theo in order to get in contact with somebody who could get her past the barrier.

I highly doubt Theo would just share the fact that he was a chimera with random people that he had never met before so the Desert Wolf had to have known about the existence of chimera’s and the fact that they would be able to get her over the barrier. In fact, given how desperate she was to get her power back, I wouldn’t doubt if she had gone to the Dread Doctors before in an attempt to get her power back through them.

This would have given the Doctors experimental access to the Desert Wolf and untapped coyote DNA. They would have taken that deal 100%. And if they never gave her more power, they would have a coyote who was constantly returning to them in an attempt to gain more power. They would be keeping her addicted to the idea of more power, without actually providing it. However, the Desert Wolf realized they weren’t helping her and decided to try another route.

This route being through Deaton and the supernatural way of stealing back power. The Dread Doctors would have heard about this or figured out her plan and sent Theo to interfere and help Malia steal the Desert Wolf’s power. With Malia now having the power, she would be in Beacon Hills with the Nemeton, closer to the Doctors and their lab, and have even more power due to having the full power of the Desert Wolf and being a Hale by birth. Malia getting the power would have been more appealing to them than the Desert Wolf getting the power.

Right after Tracy breaks the barrier, the next time we see her is after Theo’s fight with the Beast. I highly doubt Theo was planning on getting injured during that fight (cocky little shit) but I do think he was still planning on killing Tracy regardless. Due to her involvement in the Malia/Desert Wolf plan it left her as a loose end. If Braeden ever saw or recognized Tracy after the power transfer, she might have figured out what was going on, or told someone who could figure out what had happened. This realization would have put Theo and the Dread Doctors at further risk. So Tracy wouldn’t be allowed to live. Thus leading to the messy nature of her death with Theo being too injured to kill her in any other manner than how he did.

With hindsight of Theo betraying Malia for her mother we realize that Theo must have been able to contact the Desert Wolf on his own. If she had been using the Dread Doctors as a power supplier Theo would have been able to easily track her down. We find out when Braeden returns that the Desert Wolf has found out about Malia’s plan, but we never find out just how she knows. But with Theo’s betrayal it opens a pathway there. He could have gotten into contact with the Desert Wolf (either pre-meeting Scott or post-meeting Scott when he first returned to Beacon Hills) and offered a trade. Malia for the talons, which he knew Deaton would be carrying. He most likely also knew where Deaton would go for more information on the Dread Doctors and told the Desert Wolf how to find the Doctor’s second lab to kidnap Deaton. This trade got the talons back into the Beacon Hills circulation where they were more accessible to Scott and Malia for the final plan.

Taking all of this into account, I believe that Theo’s mission from the Dread Doctors was to get Malia to kill her mother, thus transferring the power of the Desert Wolf into Malia. He chose to go about this by first splitting up the pack but allying himself to Malia so that when she had nobody else she would turn to him for support. When she did turn to him for help Theo used her to track the location of the Desert Wolf/Deaton who he knew was carrying the talons. He then contacted the Desert Wolf and offered the trade of Malia for the talons. After “falling prey” to Deucalion’s manipulation and leaving the talons behind Deucalion was able to steal them away and get them to Scott which allowed for Scott to get the talons to Stiles to get to Malia. Then sending Tracy to break the mountain ash barrier, and with Theo being busy with the Beast, he allowed the Desert Wolf to get to Malia. After which he killed Tracy to cover his tracks and make sure that the pack believed his mission of killing Scott and stealing his power to be a failure. Then once Stiles arrived with the talons, Malia was able to put them on and kill her mother and steal her power, thus completing Theo’s mission without him being suspected or the pack trying to stop him.

Presumably the Dread Doctors had further plans for powered-up Malia after this, however with the success of the Beast experiments they forgot/moved on quickly and were then killed by the Beast.

In conclusion Theo’s manipulation abilities are significantly more terrifying than previously and the writers missed out on such a great opportunity to go full out in the later seasons. Again as I said in the beginning, this is all really just a theory so it might have some holes but I am always open for discussion if someone wants to add something or discuss parts of this.

If you made it this far, congratulations, you have reached the end of the analysis.

Hopefully you enjoyed it!!

amethystskeleton

💜💜💜

Theo Raeken’s original mission in Beacon Hills, given to him by the Dread Doctors, had nothing to do with killing Scott, and was actually about getting Malia to kill her mother instead. In this essay I will-

#teen wolf #character analysis #plot analysis #theories #headcanons #theo raeken #malia hale #malia tate #scott mccall #liam dunbar #stiles stilinski #the desert wolf #beacon hills #the dread doctors #shoutout to my use of 'additionally' as a transition word in this #discussion welcomed in the comments or reblogs #would be so interested to hear other peoples perspectives on this as well

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