#today wasnt a language day either i just knew

[imflyingfish]

Mmmmm

[missmarveledsblog]

Hand on Heart ( jake seresin x singlemom! reader )

CHAPTER TWO

Summary: the first week come and goes as she meets more members of the dagger squad except of the mystery hangman til she and belle are invited showing the blonde that she wasnt just a mom and the blonde starts rethinking his no moms policy

warning : fluffy fluff

previous chapter

The week was standard enough  belle went to daycare each day was longer than the one before which meant y/n got more and more of the house unpacked and even invited nat over for lunch  a couple of times , well she invited the others but the woman said they couldn’t make it leaving out the part she threatened them not to come over .   then she also met them again at same fast food place this time it was two new faces she learned was coyote and payback apparently the elusive hangman was on a date  one of many from what she gathered he sound like a bit of a playboy of sorts  . then saturday she and belle was invited to the beach with the gang . now she was spending the morning baking away because well her grandmother taught her better than to show up empty handed . nat did tell her guys played some weird kind of football but she was happy to sit with nat and belle to sandcastle or play in the water. 

The dagger squad  where setting up their things while nat and rooster laying down some bucket and stuff as well as beach umbrella into the sand completely perplexing jake seresin who was checking out the beach babe beauties .  

“ what are y’all doing?” . 

“ setting up space for belle so it not too hot obviously “ rooster rolled his eyes. 

“ oh so mommy and me is coming today?” he teased . 

“ hey she actually cool chick , she gave me tips on how to fix my car “ javy smiled . 

“ well i’m sure shes a peach but moms are messy “ he shrugged. 

“ actually not too messy we carry wet wipe all time but thanks for the observation cowboy” the voice called as he turned . 

“ ignore him, hey look we set up a belle  patch …  we kinda went overboard “ nat wince looking around at the toys on the ground . 

“  wow you did but y’all didn’t have to, thank you ,   i brought cookies and cupcakes “ she held the bag up . 

“ you must be bagman  “ she turned to the blonde .

“ it’s Hangman or Jake and you must be the mom i’ve been hearing about ?” he smiled, maybe the mom thing wasn’t too bag after all . 

“ Well cowboy don’t worry about this mom you're not my type so you're safe “ she  shook his hand before seeing belle already running towards rooster excitedly falling in the sand a couple of times before changing her mind and going to nat instead much to the man's disappointment. 

“ told you she’s too smart for you guys  seems like so is belle “ nat cheered and she twirled with the toddler in her arms . 

“ I didn't mean offense by the way ?” Jake called. 

“ none taken seriously don’t worry about it i ain’t gonna cry because a life size ken doll doesn’t like me that way, i ain’t looking for love either  “ she snorted as the others laughed.  “ now that out of the way would ya like a cookie or a cupcake “ she opened the boxes already knowing which one belle was after handing her a cupcake as she sat near  rooster who chose the same as well as a cookie. 

“ shit these are so good “ fanboy groaned . 

“ language around the baby” rooster hissed as  he covered her ears . 

“  i’m glad you like em , my grandmother would roll in her grave if she knew i showed up empty handed “ she chuckled taking her own out  sitting on towel  . “ so y’all playing football thing ?” she asked . 

“ yeah if you wanna play i can sit here with belle “ rooster offered only for jake to snort . 

“ i think i might “ she narrowed her eyes  at the blonde . “ how do you play “ she whispered to nat . 

“ you sure you wanna do this , i mean it not some pta thing or playing with blocks ” jake teased. 

“  i grew up with boy cousins and two  brothers  who didn’t see gender roles in their rough play ,i can take you on anytime cowboy ken” she crouched . “ plus ain’t size of dog it the fight of it “ she winked as Mav blew the whistle just as fanboy threw her the ball jake barrelled towards her she was veering to the left watching him  easily already heading that way before skimming the blonde and hitting right to throw the ball to payback who then score just as jake hit the sand . “ need a wet wipe “she chuckled holding her hand out for him to take . 

“ lucky first shot is  all “ he took her hand going to pull her down with him but she pulled her hand back making him fall back again . 

“Oldest trick in the book tic tac toe“ she stuck her tongue out as jake laughed. 

“ ok come on we get her this time “ was probably javy’s favorite sentence of the game til she with help of payback and fanboy scored the winning goal . before she heading over to  nat who looked happy with the sleeping toddler on her chest .  as she took her her shorts and tshirt off to lay on the sand an let the heat hit her skin as well as the fact her clothes where drench in sweat from the game what she didn’t see was the guys reaction to the show and had jake really rethinking his whole deal on single moms . while two sit on sand talking away while guys played couple of games . 

“ we’re heading hard deck soon for lunch ,  penny got some juice and things for little miss there when your ready join us “ Mav smiled . 

“ oh thank you  isn’t the hard deck a bar though ?” she asked sort of wide eye .

“ we have lunch the weekends before she opens  “ nat reassured her . 

“ ok well i better take her off of you get her into her carseat” she went to grab her only for nat to stand belle still sleeping soundly . 

“ it’s a two minute walk from here literally across the car park “ she walked ahead.  

“ ok i’ll just grab a clean shirt out of my car “ she snorted as the guys helped her pack up her stuff . 

“ amelia will probably offer her babysitting services  just to warn you and penny’s been dying to meet belle” Mav  smiled carrying her bag to the guys disappointment .  

“ y’all are very welcoming out here “  her eyes watching rooster talking to a now confused and dazed  belle slight reminding her of her brothers  in away making her miss them . 

“ so you said you have brothers?” Mav asked. 

“ two big ones  , both in navy funny enough , one is stationed in texas and another is deployed “ she smiled softly .

“ are you guys close ?” he asked . 

“ very  i mean  we had other family but it was mainly three of us with our grandparents then my grandfather passed away when i was 13 so our grandma raise us “ she smiled sadly. 

“ your parents ?” mav asked. 

“ Well not really parents got their own things going on i guess but we didn’t miss out on anything our grandma was a saint , sometimes  slightly scary woman “ she chuckled. 

“ sorry that was probably over the line asking “ he winced . 

“ nah it’s ok  i ain’t shamed of my upbringing  actually proud of it  , we would of been deemed lost causes to rest of the world but showed them different “ she smiled brightly. 

“  well i’d say their proud of you now , your brothers i mean “  . 

“ oh they are i mean  they are both trying to get stationed here, benny is more so  he’s the oldest and kai is the middle who is deployed somewhere in the pacific  and then i’m baby who is adorable and  sweet as a peach “ she joked . 

“ hey peach suits you think we found your callsign kiddo “ mav chuckled ruffling her hair . 

“ who got call sign?” bob asked . 

“ peach here , sweet as a peach “ mav nudged her. 

“ i regret bringing that up “ she grimaced. 

“ well get over it apple “  jake smirked. 

“ will do hopscotch “ she ran up to see belles lip wobble . 

Walking into the hard deck she was little nervous meeting more people but the moment she seen Penny Benjamin's warm smile  those nerves melted away .  She was eager to win Belle over seemed as though they all did during the lunch even jake decided to get in on it ultimately him and nat were favorites for awhile  til she got upset and started calling for  “roo” .  honestly she thought the man was going to cry with the excitement . she even got in a few games of pool to which jake got his comeback and beat her at .  the guys also agreed to come over help with the last few things she needed to  do in the house and Amelia indeed offered her babysitting services.

She was barely even awake when she heard the knocking on her door soft glow of the morning sun coming through the window she checked to see belle still undisturbed on the monitor  .  she barely had time to wipe the sleep out of her eyes when she padded her way down the hall . stretching as she pulled open the door to see the dagger squad standing on her porch bright eyed . 

“Are y’all ok it like … what time is it “ she groaned leaving the door open for them to come in and follow. 

“ it’s ten  wait shit i though babies wake early so figured you’d be awake “ rooster winced. 

“ nah she still asleep really tuckered her out yesterday  i’ll  guess i’ll get breakfast started and coffee “ she stretched out . 

“ is the kiwi not a morning person ?” jake called she didn’t need to even look at the man to know he was smug and smiling at her. 

“ nah monopoly i ain’t , now who wants pancakes” she turn as a show of hands raised up only for her to hear a cry coming down the hall .  “ let me get princess belle and i’ll get breakfast started “ she yawned more before heading down the hall only this time one pair of eyes where following her. 

“ next time we don’t listen to rooster … the baby expert “ nat rolled her eyes  following down to apologize .

“ this place is cool , she was telling me she'd been fixing it up while belle was in daycare and nat  been saying same she even helped her paint and stuff “ bob  told them all as they stood waiting . 

“ what she need our help for ?” jake asked looking around bob was right she made the little space like home such a short of time it was cozy he could see himself relaxing after hard day . 

“ she doesn’t but we offered to help our new co worker and friend out “  rooster shrugged . 

“ also helping the hot mom out works too “ payback whispered just as sound of little feet came running down the halls stopping looking up at the men staring down . 

“ jake “ she squealed holding her little arms out to the man . 

“ hey little lady  love the crazy do this morning “ he chuckled lifting her up , her hair out like a birds nest as her little hands rubbed her eyes  .

 “ like her moms it would seem “ rooster snort and y/n was currently  fixing her hair back up on top of her head and out of her face. 

“   you still look beautiful though” bob smiled shyly. 

“ for that you get extras “ she patted the WSO’s cheeks as he stood a little taller.  All following into the kitchen as nat moved around easily being the only one of the group who was actually ever in the space.  She began pulling it all out as jakes eyes widen as excitement took over the man seeing the stuff  his home state sitting right on the counter . 

“ shit where  you get that i haven’t found any of that stuff here” he smiled . 

“ i brought  a lot  kinda scared i wouldn’t find it here my brother  said he’s gonna bring more up when he visit i’ll ask him bring extra for you but i don’t know when that will be “  her back turned cutting up some fruit as nat was making everyone coffee . moving around the large men around the kitchen sitting the little plate on counter grabbing the bottle of milk nat handed her .  “ thank you gorgeous lady “ she winked taking belle out of the blondes arms before placing her in her highchair handing her the bottle and plate . 

“ i’ll watch her while your doing that “ rooster offered . 

“ thank you chicken” she cooed  making him blush . 

“ you don’t do that when hangman calls you chicken “ fanboy whispered. 

“ she’s prettier and has better accent than hangman  , hers doesn’t sound condescending either” he shrugged. 

All eyes watching  like they’d never seen how a breakfast was made such fascination  while she was talking about how excited she was to finally start working with them all . it was strange how close she already felt with the group after a short amount of time .   she was already picking up mannerisms of each individual , each persona of each member of the dagger squad.  

“ thank you peach “ each member called as she place their plate in front of them bar jake  who said “ thank you banna “ 

“ you know your gonna run out of fruit bop it “ she chuckled . 

“ your gonna run out of games “ he shoot back  taking a  forkful of food nearly falling in his seat shit he was really start to rethink his policy on single moms now .

next chapter

[mooutchi]

My first every fanfiction i actually wrote for my friend @raven8224 :3 it was actually fun even if im not the best at writting but i think it was good enough to post it so yeah uuh if people read that then i hope youll enjoy 😈

Tw for mention of blood and mention of death ((its not the main topic tho))

Exhausted. They were exhausted. Did they even felt like that all their life ? Hard one , they didnt know the answer. Maybe it has been years since they started to get exhausted of life and the goddesses tricks.

But right now , Link was exhausted and they knew it. Being thrown in the void wasnt the most fun thing they could wish for. Especially when this black hole made them fall in a another forest that they didnt know. It wasnt the lost wood. It wasnt the path for either their home -if they could still call it that way- or Termina. On top of that... they didnt have any mask. Only the Keaton and...Kishin.

So they kept walking. Walking and walking , knowing that today was going to be a long day. Sometime tripping on a rock because of their sore legs , sometime hitting a tree because they were too distracted to watch their steps. Tired , tired , tired. It was the only word in their mind. They wanted to take a nap...a nice bed. They could already picture the perfect 12 hours sleep they would get !-

Until they tripped again ! This time too numb to move fast enough to be back on their feet. Their head was the first thing that touched the ground , their knees just after. Hard enough for the skin to get wounded by rocks , slightly bleeding. Some grumpy small sounds came from their dry throat as they grunted , trying to pick on the skin to make the rocks and dirt go away. Their eyes fixated on the wounded skin , they caught something in the corner of their sight. Something blue...shining. So bright and beautiful.

In a quick move , they were up ! They ran. They ran and ran. They ignored the pain from the stretch of his mucles. They ignored how they wanted to give up. They ignored how they were tripping again and again , by forcing themself up repeatedly. Until they finally reached the light. They didnt want to think too much about what they saw there. They hopped they wouldnt see those kind of things anymore. Blood. Bodies. From both monsters and humans. Death... they almost forgot the sapphire blue that caught their eyes minutes ago. Until someone came. Almost running to them , dropping on his knees to cup their face , checking for wounds or blood. Link looked at the boy... he was big. Like when they first pulled the mastersword. And they didnt like how the soldier's face frowned at the blood from their nose because of the fall earlier. They watched his mouth opening and closing..but no sound. Or maybe Link lost their earing after the moon crash ? -Did it happen ? No. They were sure no. But it was still so clear in their mind..the people screaming. The earth shaking. The mask of majora...no , skull kid's laugh-

"Hey ! Listen !"

The small bell sound completely took Link by surprise. They looked around , looking at the small ball of light flying around the soldier who was holding their face , wiping the blood from the kid's nose.

"Are you alright ? You seem a bit shaken up."

It seemed like the fairy was talking to them...it took them a small moment to understand she was just speaking a bad Hyrulian and not fea language. They didnt answer...they couldnt keep their eyes away from her. Her hair was too light. Her lighting too clear and white. The tone too purple. Her clothing attire too fancy. So many accessories.... It wasnt her ! It wasnt her...

Before they could even think about running away , they got scooped up by the man with a ridiculously long scarf , the fairy talking with him. His fairy. Link was right. Today was going to be long. Longer than what he though.

[i8anton]

can you say anything about what happened in cloud9? so we know who to watch out for in the future

i'm just going to give a little bit of insight, i don't want to add screenshots until the muns involved have given the okay. tw: anti-blackness, misogyny, mentions of sexual content, ableism

the reason cloud9 closed was because a member (or multiple) had gone to the admin about how the negative subtweets during a draft drop had made them uncomfortable. the admin had made multiple tweets asking the group to avoid doing that sort of thing. completely understandable and reasonable! however, the admin had gone to a black muse's mun and told them they were creating a hostile environment and creating an unwelcoming space for others. mind you, there were many people dropping negative tweets during this draft drop and that language is just not appropriate when speaking about a black person. when the mun responded and asked for more detail, the admin sent one last message blocked them so they couldnt respond anymore. PLEASE BE MORE MINDFUL OF THE LANGUAGE YOU USE TOWARDS MUSES AND MUNS OF COLOR PLEASEEEEEE

after members called the admin out, they posted a thread saying there were "harmful allegations" (allegations? we had seen the dms they sent the mun. it wasnt allegations.) and that they were only trying to issue warnings. there was no real apology ever given. not a good one at least.

when then found out who this admin was. the character wasnt very inclusive, didnt exist out of their ship, and just completely showed favoritism to their own character. they said someone else (who did way more to be inclusive than they ever did) was unwelcoming, but couldnt even be bothered themselves. i'm telling you right now, the members did more for the group than the admin did. from games to movie night to making sure every single intro and selfie got traction. they were wonderful people and so inclusive.

not to mention the passive aggressiveness when confronting any of the other muns about anything. talking about "backseat adminning" over NOTHING. normally i am alllll for admins and on their defense team but a lot of the people who came forward about how this admin treated them were absolutely not in the wrong.

after all this, they deactivated their muse's account, the main account, and their ship partner deactivated too...

another person spoken about was a former member of the group. this person made 15+ muns uncomfortable.

there was an instance with ableism where they were incredibly aggressive towards someone with autism after a miscommunication issue.

there were many instances with misogyny where he talked nasty about "fem-presenting" fcs. ESPECIALLY, if he was dickriding their potential ship partners. he would talk shit about them to other muses and even talk about wanted to fuck their partners right to them.

he sent unsolicited dick AND ass pics (i don't know if everyone experienced this but my muse did and it wasnt just one time.) it doesnt matter if this was a smut group, majority of the muses and muns here knew how to respect boundaries. this person absolutely did not.

back to the dickriding, BOTH of the characters this mun played only really spoke to men and couldn't hold conversation with many people outside of sex talk. again, yes this was a smut group. but my muse had a sexual connection with two people the entire time they were there and had AMAZING friendships. even 30+ dms a day. if you're only in a group (ANY GROUP) to have sexual connections, maybe you shouldnt be joining any groups.

nobody felt like they could say anything because feeling that uncomfortable with both a member AND an admin can make it extremely hard.

i hit 10 image limit... but i dont think either of these muns will be in poki but i am VERY sure that the amount of people that stood up for each other today, will let the admins know if there's something to worry about. and if you werent in cloud9, do not let this deter you from poki!!! looking at the apps, these are wonderful potential characters and these admins have put a lot of hard work into it. but if ANYONE makes you uncomfortable in ANY group, please talk to them directly or if you're nervous about the confrontation, go to the admins. your feelings are important and, if theres anything i've learned from this, a lot of people might feel the same as you.

[wincore]

field day | jung sungchan

pairing: sungchan x fem!reader

synopsis: when you, as cheer captain, are best friends with the pride and joy of the soccer team, rumors are bound to fly around.

genre: high school au, soccer au, bff2l, fluff

words: 7.5k

warnings: language, jung “the risk i took was calculated but man am i bad at math” sungchan

request: sungchan + ball + “ everyone is looking at us. is that a good or a bad thing? ” (from the first option) ^__^

song recs: after school - weeekly / pleaser - wallows / some - bol4 / sweet talk - saint motel / love so sweet - cherry bullet

a/n: i tried recalling some hs memories for this and im hoping i wasnt the only one that went through the “shipped with a random dude” ordeal LOL. i haven’t written shorter fics in a while so i’m glad i got to. tq for requesting, lovepie <33

In high school, peer pressure tends to come in different forms. For you, it’s taken the shape of this.

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” 

You look around your classmates, scanning each and every face chanting with glee like you’re a star player scoring the winning point. The tall figure shifts beside you, glancing at you like a blinking idiot. You’re not even on the losing team but it feels just as frustrating.

You glare at the boy beside you. The trouble is Jung Sungchan. The trouble has always been Jung Sungchan. 

“Come on!” Chenle calls with a teasing grin from the buzzing crowd. The little shit. It’s getting hotter with each minute you spend by the green soccer field and its dusty chalked lines, just at the tip of the bleachers. You didn’t even get enough time to breathe before you were surrounded, the soccer team pushing a stumbling Sungchan onto you. It’s too sunny for this today.

“The star soccer player gets a kiss from the lead cheerleader after a winning game! That’s the rule.” Chenle announces.

Sungchan looks at you and you turn to him, the both of you looking at each other like fish out of water. Even though you’ve clarified at least a hundred times that you’re just friends, your peers don’t seem to be satisfied. (“Famous last words,” they say.)

“No,” you say, firmly. 

“No,” Sungchan agrees, nodding his head wisely.

“Don’t copy me,” you say, smacking his chest, and a quiet ‘oof’ escapes his mouth.

The fact that you’ve been best friends since Sungchan offered you a light green crayon in elementary school just fuels the idea that you have to date. There’s this difference between elementary school kids teasing and high school kids teasing—it was so much easier back when boys were afraid of cooties from girls. It was innocent too. Now, it’s more of nudges and sly grins, teasing with unnecessary innuendo. (What else do you expect from teenagers experiencing puberty?) It doesn’t stop you from being best friends though. Sungchan still visits on Fridays to get on your mom’s nerves and help you with homework (or try to). You still have all the little trinkets he’s gifted you over the years and the lock to his phone is still your birthday. You’re best friends and strictly that. 

When you got into the same middle school though is when it started going downhill. Holding his hand was awkward, touching him in any way was awkward and god forbid you compliment him on something. The kids around you would run across the halls saying “(name) likes Sungchan!” or the other way around sometimes. Heathens, the lot of them. But at the very least, he wasn’t too fazed and you wonder how he could be that even-tempered. If it was just you feeling that way, then maybe you did like him more than he did you. 

You shake it off. 

Sungchan’s much more grown now and at least a foot taller since his awkward adolescent years; he looks handsomer too but you wouldn’t be caught dead saying it out loud. After all, it’s only going to spark another debate on the anonymous school forum. (“(name) finds Jung Sungchan attractive, they’re totally dating.” “I knew it. A boy and a girl can’t be friends, especially if they’re both good looking.”) If you’re being honest, you hate the rumours so much—it’s one of the reasons, apart from puberty, stopping you from being as close as before. However, you do understand that this is how the passage of time works. You’re not going to be spending all of your time with each other, yes, but you still regard him as important. Your life is too busy now, with exams and practice—and you’d think a busy bee would get some honey as reward.

Sungchan’s curls stick to his forehead, unruly after he wiped at them with a towel. The sunlight plays with his eyes when he looks at you intently and you shrug. The smell of sweat is starting to make you nauseous. You remember that you too need to take a shower.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” you mumble.

“Not today?” He asks.

You shake your head. “The girls have a plan.”

It’s not just the sweat. Or the crowds. You don’t like being here at all. There’s one more problem with this place.

You hate soccer. 

And by hate, you mean you despise it. Like you’ll throw up at the sight of it. What’s so riveting about a bunch of smelly, sweaty guys excited about chasing a patterned ball? You’ve tried to understand it but every time your dad explains the rules, you find yourself zoning out of whatever alien language he speaks. 

Sungchan has been the closest to getting you to understand the game and even then, you refused to learn. It’s not like you’re society’s definition of girly—but you’re not a tomboy either. The school has granted you the “ice queen with a warm interior” stereotype so you’ll just go with that. To be honest, you’re just a little more awkward at open affection than your friends. (And Sungchan has the “friendly beagle” stereotype which you’ll agree is partly true. He’s more of a retriever though, with that size.) It’s just funny how you can never seem to know who you are but other people see so clearly.

You hurry up to the locker rooms and hope for a better evening than this afternoon.

-

The sky burns blue and you wipe the sweat off your brow once you step out of the changing room. Cooling off from your shower has gone to waste. Adjusting your school skirt, you take your usual strides to the school gates. 

Ryujin seems to be showing Yuna a very flamboyant dance move while the latter hypes her up. Ryujin is in her gym uniform because she has no care for her reputation apparently, but she makes it work. Yuna’s about to show her own move when she notices you and waves at you vigorously enough to make you jog towards her and stop embarrassing herself in front of the after school crowd. But then again, she’s too cute for that.

“We got bored waiting for you,” Yuna explains, voice hoarse from her cold. Poor thing wasn’t let into performing because of it. “Do you wanna see our cool new move? Ryujin came up with it!”

Ryujin rolls her eyes. “You’re trying to advertise me to (name) so she can recruit me into cheerleading, aren’t you?”

You smile and cross your arms, facing Yuna who’s been caught mid-act. She smiles sheepishly and pats your shoulder like she just said a funny joke.

“Actually…” You begin and Ryujin holds up her arms in a cross.

“No. Never. I’m already part of the hip-hop dance club.”

“I was going to say that I’ll join you instead.”

Yuna gasps in betrayal, big eyes widening, and Ryujin grins before sticking her tongue out and potentially ruining her image with that expression. She doesn’t care, however.

“Anyway, I can’t wait to get to college and join a dance club.” Ryujin looks at the two of you excitedly. “I keep getting snaps from Yeji and feel so jealous.”

Yuna pouts. “Don’t be so happy about leaving me.”

“Aw, is the baby afraid of not getting any more sisterly doting?” Ryujin teases and you laugh at the disgruntled expression on Yuna’s face. 

“Don’t worry,” Ryujin continues with a sly grin. “Taehyun’s here to keep you company for another year.”

Yuna turns red in the face, a high pitched complaint emitting from her throat. “I told you to keep quiet about that!”

“Oh, what’s this?” You wiggle your eyebrows. “We’re starting boy talk early today.”

Yuna huffs. “At least, mine’s just a crush. I don’t know what relationship status: complicated you have going on with Mr. Soccer Captain.”

You flush hotly. “There’s no relationship status to be complicated about! Seriously, why does everyone think we’re a thing?”

“You’re cheer captain and he’s soccer captain,” Ryujin answers logically. “Plus, you’re best friends.”

“You have a lot of sexual tension,” Yuna answers honestly.

You make a face, slipping your arms into theirs and pulling them along the sidewalk. You better get something to drink before the sky starts to turn purple from pink tinged blue. 

“Ooh, another desperate attempt from (name) to not get teased,” Ryujin leans back to whisper to Yuna.

You stop walking. “Wait. Where are we going?”

Yuna shakes her head. “I’ll lead the way.”

Skipping over the concrete sidewalk, you laugh at your friends and their stories (read: Ryujin gushing over Yeji’s college dance club and Yuna’s newfound crush on Taehyun). The blue sky has tinged orange by now but it’s the sort of colour that sits in between more significant timeframes, like night and evening. Passing by a city square, you eye the people with wonder. A girl in a pink skirt skateboards smoothly over the concrete, her boyfriend filming her with a loving smile. 

“We’re here!” Yuna announces.

You look around the large open plaza, with people of all ages and in different attires trying out skateboarding and rollerblading over the grey concrete. It’s been getting popular lately, with idol pop stars taking to it too but you never knew there was this big a community. There seems to be a few stalls renting out skateboards too. The wind caresses your hair, evening cool settling in nicely on your skin. The sky is purple but it’s lit up with the city buildings and street lamps flickering on. It’s not a bad day at all.

Someone catches your attention. A boy that sticks out like a sore thumb everywhere he goes. 

“Sungchan?!” 

Your eyes somehow always settle on his figure, tall and standing out in the crowd of teenagers. He clutches his blue bag, the one he’s had since third grade, close to his chest and looks more like a tourist in this place than a frequent visitor. He’s not the only one in school uniform now that you’re here.

“(name)!” 

You hate how you love the way his face lights up when he sees you. You’re not actually into him. It’s your friends brainwashing you.

“I was going to invite you,” Sungchan says, a sorry smile on his face. 

Ryujin and Yuna frown at each other but you can’t exactly ask the reason for it.

“Isn’t it great we had the same plans?” he beams at the three of you.

Yuna suppresses a smile and you wonder why. It’s not like your friends would know he’d be here—you’d know first as best friend.

"How did you guys come across this place?" He asks, eyes round with curiosity. 

"Somi's Tiktok," Yuna answers, smiling. "We thought she works here but if she really was, guys would be swarming this place."

Ryujin raises her eyebrows. "Speaking of which, I can clearly see why there are so many girls here."

Sungchan beams, turning to you for affirmation and when you don't give him any, he drops his grin to a more polite smile.

“I don’t work at the stalls though,” he answers. “I’ve just been here a few times.”

“You’re trying to learn, aren’t you?” Ryujin asks, raising an eyebrow.

He nods. However, you furrow your eyebrows at her. How does she know? Eyes widening, you realize it must be the school forum. You remember reading a post about a student wanting to learn skateboarding and the wording felt familiar but you didn’t think much. How they figured it out, you will never know.

“Oh! Oh, I think my nose is bleeding. Oh god.” Yuna sniffs vehemently, her finger at her nose. “I think I’m going to need Ryujin to get me to a clinic.” 

Linking her arm through Ryujin’s, Yuna makes an apologetic expression and runs off into a particularly crowded area.

You blink. The realization dawns. 

"They just left me," you tell him, exasperated. "How could they just leave me?"

He shrugs. "My team left me at a rival school's field once."

Great. Your last outing before midterms and your friends have abandoned you. If this is the case, you wonder why they complain about you spending so much time with Sungchan and allegedly ignoring them.

You regain a sense of your surroundings and turn to him. "Wait. They really left you?"

He nods diligently, eyes trained upwards as he tries to recall the memory. "I told you, didn’t I? On the plus side though, I made friends with the opposite team."

"That's so… cute."

Your cheeks heat up at saying it out loud. If Sungchan is affected by it in any way, he doesn't show it. Instead, he has his usual smile on. 

“Do you wanna try?” he asks. “Skateboarding. Or rollerblading but I personally don’t recommend that.”

He curls his lips, shaking his head slightly. You laugh. Of course this beanpole has trouble balancing on skates.

"I- I figured you'd be good at skateboarding. Since, you know, you're so balanced and all."

You raise an eyebrow. "You wanna add skateboarding to your resume or something?"

"Yeah, that and the ability to imitate dog sounds. Wanna see?"

"No, thanks. I’ll pray this weekend to cure your furry behaviour."

Before he can respond, you’re interrupted by a whirlwind of colours and excited calls. A few girls run up to the two of you, younger and probably in middle school, flocking to Sungchan like bees to honey. Never in your life have you felt so ignored as in this singular moment.

You blink, turning to Sungchan who looks like a rather helpless, flustered eye of the hurricane. The winds don't seem to be stopping any time soon.

You clear your throat trying to get their attention. 

"Wow, you brought your girlfriend?" One of the girls exclaims, sounding disappointed.

The other girls make similar whines of disappointment and you have half the heart to whack them over the head and tell them to focus on their academics instead of boys. 

"You're so lucky to have him as your boyfriend," a girl comments, round eyes brimming with jealousy. 

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you declare sharply.

Sungchan looks at you with his doe eyes, blinking cartoonishly. You nudge him with your elbow.

“Yeah!” He agrees, with far too much gusto to be believable. “I’m not (name)’s boyfriend. I have no idea why everyone keeps saying that.”

“Let’s go, babe,” you say, resisting the urge to stick your tongue out at the girls. They’re younger than you and you have high school dignity, you remind yourself.

Slipping your hand into his, you take a few long strides away from them before you realize what you said.

“I- I did- I didn’t mean to call you babe,” you sputter, pulling your hand from his to look at him with wide eyes. 

“It’s okay though?”

Sungchan raises an eyebrow and slips his hand back into yours, smiling. 

“I don’t mind the rumours, you know?” He says honestly but his smile feels all too teasing. “Maybe we should go out for real.”

You huff, separating yourself from him again. “Maybe you just love attention. Disgusting.”

You point an accusatory finger at him and he bites at it playfully.

“While you're here, wanna see a cool trick I learned?" He straightens only having to tilt his head to look at you.

"If it's you falling on your face, then yes."

"I mean, hey, I could totally do that. Done that several times actually."

You smile despite trying your hardest not to. You like this about him—that he’s easygoing enough to make you look at life less seriously. If it’s with him, you could quit everything that makes you unhappy and start everything you love. 

“So where is your skateboard?” you ask, walking side by side with him, who has finally learned to match your pace.

“It’s with one of my friends,” he answers, and points to a tall girl with long brown hair, wearing a pair of tomboyish shorts and T-shirt. Another girl with short hair and a bucket hat accompanies her, wearing a long hoodie and shorts, but she leaves before you reach them. They must be from a different school because you’ve never seen them before. The first thing that pops into your head is that they’d be good replacements for your cheerleading position if you were ever to leave. You shake your head. Now is not the time.

“That’s Jimin!” he introduces, and you wonder how he’s this way—how he makes friends so easily.

Jimin waves at Sungchan and then proceeds to ask if you’re his girlfriend with a big smile, like a script being followed everywhere you go.

She seems a little disappointed at the answer. “Well, I was going to suggest one of the couples skateboards.”

You flash her an awkward smile. 

“But those are pretty difficult! I’ve been here for a month and my idea of skateboarding is still sitting on it while Soeun pushes me around. That’s my friend, by the way.”

“Ah.” You nod. “This is my first time skateboarding, actually. The only ‘sport’ I’ve ever done is cheerleading.”

Jimin furrows her eyebrows before her eyes widen. “Wait a minute. You’re the cheerleader best friend that Sungchan wouldn’t shut up about!”

Sungchan flusters, in the subtle way he usually does, and waves his hands robotically trying to explain. “I was just saying- that- that you’d be good at skateboarding. Because of the cheerleading.”

A boxy grin accompanies his explanation. 

“Right.” Jimin covers her face and sends an obvious wink your way. “Anyway, you can have my skateboard for the day.”

She hands over a smooth black skateboard with white wheels, but on closer inspection you find that they’re light-up wheels instead. It’s oddly fitting for someone like Jimin even if you’ve known her the entirety of ten minutes. Sungchan is good at finding friends, rather. Soon enough, she runs off after making Sungchan promise he’ll deliver the skateboard home.

The trick Sungchan wanted to show you was a failed kickflip. At the very least, it made you laugh so hard you almost spit out the strawberry milk he’d bought you. Sipping his own banana milk, he sulked for a moment or two, telling you to try it out and see how difficult it is.

On the contrary, Sungchan was right. You are good at balancing on skateboards. But that’s where it ends. You don’t think you’ll be naturally good at kickflips, though being able to glide through the plaza while Sungchan runs after you with the drinks puts a big smile on your face. It’s the most fun you’ve had in a while.  

Accompanied by Sungchan’s panicked “oh no”s and “oh we messed up”s, the two of you try the couple skateboarding move too; no one’s watching you here. It’s fun to see him stress over a skateboard because frankly, you’ve never met anyone as easy-going as Sungchan. (“I’ll figure it out along the way,” he says when you ask if he’s studying for finals, and proceeds to get a decent enough score). Suddenly the wandering gap is closed again. You’re not going to worry about stupid rumours from now on. 

But for some reason, ‘you like him as a friend’ doesn’t sound right either. Despite having said it so many times, you might not believe in it. You shake off the thought. This evening, at least, you’re going to enjoy with Sungchan without thinking of teenage drama and hormones. 

"You still don't think you and Sungchan make the perfect pair?" Yuna pouts. 

You narrow your eyes. "I don't take opinions from traitors."

Chaeryoung leans back on her chair, and whispers to you asking if you’re okay. At least someone is concerned about you.

“It hurts to be left by my own friends but—”

“No, I meant, are you okay? Why aren’t you dating Sungchan already? You’re so cute together! And you’re best friends—Netflix writers literally daydream of this.”

You groan, throwing up your hands in defeat.

“And,” Yuna adds, knocking her chair closer. “Who’s really the traitor here? Us who ditched you with the love of your life—or you, who runs off every time she gets a call from her boyfriend?”

“Sungchan is not my boyfriend.” You cross your arms.

“She even shares her lunch with him more,” Ryujin complains from the side. “And they’re not even in the same class. Unlike me, by the way. Class 1 Shin Ryujin. Same class as you, (name).”

You slump, resting your forehead against the desk. At this point, you wish the teacher would walk in and start the class already. Unfortunately, lunch break isn’t over for another ten minutes and lady luck clearly isn’t smiling upon you. 

“Speak of the devil!” Ryujin announces monotonously, leaning against her desk.

Sungchan and a few of his friends from the soccer team wave at you and the girls from the classroom door. Noticing Taehyun, Yuna quickly fixes her hair and you would tease her if Sungchan hadn’t casually strolled up to your desk and sat down on the chair in front of you. Long legs barely contained in the space, he adjusts himself by resting his arm on the headrest and his chin upon it. It’s all normal. However, when he leans down to match your eye level, you hear the sudden pit-a-pat of your pulse in your ear. At this proximity, you can even see the mole on his lip that he’s pointed out before. The sunlight from the open windows is pulling golden strings over his eyelashes and his lips aren’t dry as a desert like you expected. You know he uses the watermelon flavoured lip balm. 

“Too close,” you croak. Embarrassed at your own voice, you rise sharply and glare at him.

“Is your heart fluttering?” Sungchan asks, smiling as he looks up at you.

You roll your eyes. 

You can hear Yuna’s giggling and before you can shoot her a glare, Sungchan calls. 

"Do you have any bandaids?" 

He points to a rough scratch at the base of his palm, fingers slender and less calloused than what you'd pictured. Then again, soccer players don't use their hands much, do they?

You blink. "You came all the way here for bandaids?"

"Well… I remembered you keep band-aids in your phone case. And the nurse hates me."

You giggle.

Yujin mouths from behind Sungchan, “He just wanted to see her.” 

You would feel flattered if you didn't know these people and their shenanigans. They'd do anything for some drama (and to get two innocent people into the dating trap).

“Why would I waste my cute band aids on you?” you mutter under your breath. “They’re limited edition, you know?”

No way are you sticking Ice Bear on your urban hazard of a best friend. A tall, cute, surprisingly polite hazard but he still annoys you nonetheless.

However, Sungchan's pleading smile has grown on you.

You reluctantly take the band-aid out of your clear phone case, the pink panda doll attached to it swaying with the movement. Proceeding, you take Sungchan's hand and lay it on your desk. With careful focus, you place the band-aid, admiring the size difference of your hands before snapping to reality.

Enough with the pink cloud of thoughts, you scold yourself.

When you look up, the proximity makes your heart skip a beat despite the logical part of you saying you shouldn't. Your faces are too close and this time, you don't even have the energy to croak it out.

"Thanks, (name)," Sungchan smiles at you. 

Right then, the sound of a chair sliding harshly against the floor makes the two of you jolt away from each other. All of your friends and his friends seem to be sporting Cheshire cat grins and you don't like it one bit. You don't like not being in on the gag.

"Anybody up for gaming after this? My treat." Chenle looks around. “Sungchan is banned from the arcade soccer game though.”

"'Ey," Sungchan complains.

"Hey, Jisung and Ryujin are banned from DDR too but that's because they almost broke the handles off last time."

The memory makes you smile. Sungchan was there too, and you don’t know why you’re only just recalling all the memories with him in it, carefully and in detail. Every one of them seems to have been amplified, the little interactions suddenly coming to mind. 

“(name)? You’re coming?”

You take one look at Sungchan and give up. Even if this is another childish ploy by your peers, you don't mind spending some more time at the arcade with infuriatingly addictive games. A tiny part of you is even willing to go along with them and see if it turns out the way they want it to.

“I’ll go,” you mumble, and the rest of the group cheers. 

“But I have cleaning duty today.”

The group groans. 

“Just get someone else to do it. Like a junior.”

“Isn’t that bullying?” You ask, frowning.

“Ask nicely. Anyone would be willing to do your bidding, (name).”

“Chenle, will you do it?” You give him a sickly sweet smile. “You’re class president after all.”

Chenle wrinkles his nose. “You’re getting stupider every day, (name).”

You sigh. “Fine. I’ll ask one of Yuna’s classmates then.”

“By the way,” Chenle announces. “Only twelfth graders are invited—”

A bunch of groans interrupt him. 

“Quit whining.” He crosses his arms, glaring at them. “What do you even have to worry about? We’re preparing for the exam of our lives. Oh, and Jisung is an exception.”

“We’re only two years apart,” Yuna mutters under her breath.

“Oh, and from class 5, only Sungchan is invited.”

Another round of complaints pass and Chenle breaks into laughter. “Just kidding.”

Your friends are and will always be an odd bunch. Sungchan has previously proved to be the weirdest (several times) and it makes him the most lovable too. But then again, you don’t have free space in your timetable to put in teenage crushes, much less falling for your best friend. What you do have time for this afternoon, however, is relaxing at the arcade. 

-

“Let’s go! I am so good at this. Think I’d impress your Steve Curry?” Ryujun gloats, after having scored three hoops in a row at the arcade basketball game.

“It’s Stephen Curry,” Chenle corrects. “And no, let’s focus here. Our goals are—”

He points to the two figures by the DDR machine, looking like a real couple. He’s been acting as damage control for the rumours and making sure you don’t drift apart because of it. They really don’t make guys like him anymore, Chenle sighs. He should get a friendship award or something.

“—those two.”

Really, Sungchan better be thanking him by the end of this. He’s never met anyone quite like Jung Sungchan, especially because Chenle cannot picture himself liking the same person since elementary school.

“Man, now I wish I had a girlfriend,” Chenle mutters.

Ryujin snorts. “Who’s going to date you?”

“You don’t have a boyfriend either,” Chenle reminds and gets a basketball to the shoulder.

“Why are you playing that when you don’t even know how to use it?” Your voice rings through to them.

“I said I’ll figure it out!” Sungchan reasons.

Chenle and Ryujin stare at the two of you blankly, as you bicker over a claw machine game and they share a look.

“Do they need our help?” Ryujin whispers.

Chenle shakes his head. “I think they’ll figure it out from here.”

Soon enough, you were laughing at Sungchan’s failed attempts and trying to outplay him. Your friends have already given you the shove. Chenle and Ryujin share a high five and that’s where the new story begins.

You finally know the thrill of a teenage crush. It makes you so damn infuriated that it had to be Jung Sungchan. 

Now every time he waves at you from the field or hands you a bottle of strawberry milk or explains the calc notes you missed or does the bare minimum, you need to deal with the quickening of your pulse and a few butterflies loose from their cage in your stomach. It doesn’t help that you’re almost always together.

The two of you currently sit by the school field, Sungchan tying his shoelaces while you cool off with the water bottle he offered you. Practice ended a while ago for you and the girls have receded into the air conditioned indoor gym. The indoor gym is apparently occupied by the gymnast club and you couldn’t be more disappointed that you didn’t join them instead. 

If anything, however, you’d rather leave this whole thing and focus on your academics. Hobbies shouldn’t be draining you—they should feel like skateboarding on a lilac evening with the wind in your hair.

With a friend you like very, very much.

“Sungchan,” you call quietly. 

“Hm?” 

When he looks up, you can’t hold in the urge to fix the hair out of his eyes. You’ve never been very physically affectionate so it might have come off strange. Sungchan looks at you quietly, stars in his eyes and you clear your throat.

“How long have you been playing soccer? It was before we met, right?”

He hums, eyes traveling up and then back to you when he remembers. “Since I was six. You were there at my first soccer match actually.”

“I was? Oh my god, was it the one you lost horribly and the whole team started crying?”

“Yes. Yes, it was.”

You giggle. “Six year old you would be so in awe now.”

Sungchan beams at that. 

“Who knows?” he smiles, looking into your eyes with firm determination. “Maybe I’ll be the next Son Heungmin.”

“Even I know who that is so… no.”

Sungchan pouts and you make a face in disgust. “Don’t act cute, it gives me hives.”

“Okay, maybe not Son Heungmin. I could definitely be the next Park Jisung—and I don’t mean him.”

Sungchan points to a boy passed out on the benches, his exhaustion typical of any high schooler while another boy sits beside him, fanning him with a bunch of assignment papers. Jisung and Chenle really are more entertaining than any game on this field. 

You turn to look at Sungchan, who’s moving his head around trying to catch their attention. When he finally does, he waves at them and gets big grins in response. He’s not all that bad, you think. In fact, he’s quite possibly the most amiable boy in senior year.

“Just be Jung Sungchan,” you mutter. “Not Son Heungmin or Park Jisung.”

Sungchan turns to you, smiling wide. “Advice taken.”

You scoff. “Whatever.”

Maybe it’s just you but Sungchan has been glancing at your lips very frequently today and mentally thank Chaeryoung for letting you borrow her lip tint. You didn’t know something so subtle could get you this giddy.

“Are you… going to give the CSAT?” You ask, glancing at him nervously. Part of you is sad you only developed your first high school crush in the very last semester. Or if it’s comforting, you could believe you’ve liked him all this time.

“Nah. Sports scholarship,” he says nonchalantly. “I was going to tell you but… I’ve been scouted already.”

You gasp. “That’s… great. Your future’s all settled.”

Sungchan seems to dislike the idea, lips pursing. “I don’t think anything’s settled except for the next step.”

You nod, somewhat understanding. 

“What about you?” He asks. “Any university in mind? SKY? I’ve seen you study extra hours at the library.”

You look away, not feeling ready for the conversation.

“I don’t know,” you say quietly. “I don’t know what I like and what I want. I don’t even like cheer anymore.”

Sungchan gazes at you wordlessly but it’s the most comfortable you’ve felt talking about this.

“Maybe I should quit,” you mumble.

You don’t want to commit to something you no longer have passion for. But then again, you’ve spent so much time on it that it’s hard to leave. 

“You should,” he responds, honest. 

You scoff, shaking yourself from that moment of vulnerability. “But why would I quit something I’m good at?”

“If you don’t like it. If it hurts to leave but isn’t any better when you stay, you should leave.”

You roll your eyes. “You’re quite the philosopher.”

“I’m smart, right?”

You smile. 

“Oy, you two!” Chenle calls, making his way to you two with Jisung trailing behind. “I don’t mean to interrupt your flirting but you got a spare water bottle?”

“Are you two going out now?” Jisung asks as a follow-up, and you feel a hot flush for some reason, unlike the previous times you’ve been asked this question.

“No,” you answer. You don’t mind the idea though now.

“Don’t lie,” Chenle complains. “I saw that picture of Sungchan teaching you how to kick a ball. You? And soccer? Something’s up.”

You throw up your hands in exasperation. “Seriously, who keeps up posting to the school page? And where do they get the time?”

"Two people with this much compatibility will always be a hot topic."

"We're not compatible," you retort quickly.

"Wait," Jisung says. "I know how to resolve this."

You raise an eyebrow.

"How do you have your cereal?" He asks, looking from you to Sungchan.

"Cereal first, obviously," you answer.

Sungchan looks up, finger below his chin as he thinks. "I drink the milk first, then eat the cereal and then breakdance to mix it all together."

You pinch your nose. "I swear I question your sanity all the time."

"Hah! That means you're thinking about me all the time."

You look away, rolling your eyes. He responds with an open-mouthed smile and finger guns.

"See?" Jisung grins. "Compatible."

The gruff voice of Coach Lee startles the four of you and Sungchan leaves with a sigh and a promise of meeting after practice. Jisung leaves with Sungchan and Chenle gives you one last teasing smirk before sitting down and going through the assignment papers he was using as a fan previously. You will never understand his miraculous ways of performing his presidential duties.

You don’t have a good feeling about the next match. The only reason you’re even sticking around anymore—as embarrassing as it—is to spend more time with Sungchan. Being with him puts you at ease, even if the school tries to wrap the two of you in a rope of uneasiness. This is your very last practice, for the next match is the final one of this year and then you’ll be back to spending even longer hours at the library with a stack of textbooks. It’s supposed to be a carefree age. At least, adults say that. Your high school life seems to be riddled with worries, and with that thought, you head into the air conditioned room to take a breather off your anxieties. 

Only one more match, you remind yourself. 

The pre-match buzz is driving you to the edge.

Your form is off, you can feel it already and Coach Kim isn’t as sunshine-as-rainbows as she usually is, courtesy to it being the last match of your life. She’ll never know though, how much you don’t want to do this. 

Sungchan waves at you as he usually does before a match, disappointing a third of his fangirls, but it helps you ease. One last time, (name).

Watching the crowd of people, parents and siblings and friends, all excited and talking makes you take a deep breath. You practiced but it wasn’t good enough. You can never do well at something you don’t like anymore. This time, you feel guilty for committing to things half-heartedly. You want to start that fresh new college chapter already, with all of this behind.

There’s ten minutes left. You go back to the empty hall outside the lockers only to pace. This isn’t helping.

“(name)!”

You turn around abruptly to find Sungchan’s tall figure, and you must be looking miserable because his smile falls.

He doesn’t even ask what’s wrong, only takes careful steps towards you. “Do you need water? Medicine?”

His hands hover over your shoulder but he doesn’t burden you with them. You put your face in your palms and sigh, sinking down to the floor in a crouch.

“I want to quit,” you whisper. Your voice comes off more brittle than you’d like, and you realize that Sungchan hasn’t seen you cry since seventh grade when you failed a math test. You didn’t tell him then but you appreciated him studying extra hours for math just to teach you.

“You don’t have to go out there if you don’t want to,” he says quietly, dropping to the floor beside you. “I’ll stay with you.”

You stare at him dumbfounded. “Don’t be ridiculous! They’ll lose without you—you’re the ace, Sungchan!”

“There will always be an ace,” he retorts. “Maybe Jisung will finally get to shine. Or anyone else. I don’t mind spending an hour with you alone.”

You feel a hot flush spread over your cheeks. Looking away to the side, you mumble an ‘alright’ and only glance from the corner of your eye to see him smiling. Jung Sungchan is the most unreasonable boy you’ve ever met. Perhaps it makes him somewhat loveable too.

“It’s your last match,” you whisper helplessly.

“I’ll join the college soccer club and get to play more matches.”

You sigh, giving in. If he’s so adamant, you think that perhaps there is something in you worth sacrificing his game over. It makes an oddly warm feeling bloom in your chest. Sungchan is so damn convincing with his words. You wonder if it’s really okay.

With shoulders touching, an awkward silence takes over in the next second. You turn to him and open your mouth, watch him do the same and close it at the same time he does.

“You know,” he begins, “I was kind of lying about not worrying because I get the feeling coach will evaporate me tomorrow but—I can handle it. Mostly.”

You stare at him with wide, worried eyes. “You don’t have to do this, Sungchan. I’m the one running away.”

You slouch, pulling your knees closer to your chest and burying your face in them. The urge to scream is boiling within you but you can’t get caught. Not now.

“Sometimes to run is the brave thing,” he responds, insightful. “If you’re not up for it, it’s better to quit early than to regret it in the long run.”

You don’t know if it’s the fact that he just quoted Taylor Swift or spoke like your old school counselor—but you find yourself laughing. He makes sense. Sungchan, in his weird, oddball ways, always makes sense. And in that same way, he feels like home.

“You’re so good to me,” you say, looking up at him and at a proximity you’ve never been before.

It’s his turn to fluster, though he doesn’t do so as visibly as you do. He clears his throat, shifting his eyes around before meeting yours. “I- This is bad timing but… I like you. I really do. Since third grade when you drew that birthday card for me. I have it in my bedside drawer, by the way.”

He looks away and makes a face, probably wondering why he said that out loud.

You press your lips tight to prevent the smile that tugs at them. He looks at you with a wobbly smile, trying his hardest to resume his usual dignity—but he’s just a boy, after all. 

“My type is dumb and pretty, though?” You tease, the smile escaping. “You said it yourself.”

He blinks. “Well, I am pretty but if you want me to be stu—”

You shake your head. “I like you too. You don’t have to act cute.”

He pauses, thinking. “I have never acted cute in my life ever. I was born cu—”

You hold his face between your thumb and forefinger. “You do that again and you die.”

He breaks into a smile. 

“I’ve never met someone quite like you,” you whisper, embarrassed of your own feelings bubbling up from the bottle you had kept them in.

He laughs, open-mouthed and pretty. 

“Actually, hey, I didn’t like you all this time from fifth. I liked you and then I didn’t like you and then I liked you again—”

“Okay, I get it.”

His shoulders relax and he smiles at you. You look up at the clock on the wall by the entrance to the field and bite your lip. You don’t love performing anymore but you know all the girls do, even the stand-bys. Jisung might not have to take over Sungchan’s position but you bet one of those tenth graders would love to take yours, the same way you did back then. They’ve practiced harder than you too and it’s only a matter of deserving.

You take a deep breath and get up, pulling up Sungchan by the hand. He raises an eyebrow, inquisitive eyes scanning over your face and you smile at him, strengthening your resolve. You should have done this way sooner.

-

Sungchan plays. You don’t let him sit it out with you. 

Halfway through, you cheer the hardest you ever have, plastic decorative gemstones stuck by your eyes borrowed from the other girls cheering. It’s much more fun, you think. You’ve never experienced soccer like this. You’d love to sit at stadiums and join in victory chants. There’s enough weight off your chest to yell your lungs out.

Sungchan scores a goal almost immediately after and sends a thumbs up over to you. You laugh. This is the best break you’ve ever taken from cheerleading. 

“Ooh, is this perhaps the (name) effect?” Chenle’s voice rings through the speakers and you feel yourself shrink slightly under the eyes. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see your homeroom teacher signal very angrily to the commentator box. You shake yourself off it. So what if everyone’s looking?

Sungchan places his hands on his hips, chest heaving and sends another signal to you before beelining for a straight goal. You whoop and the girl with a notebook beside you is visibly annoyed at this point but you don’t care. 

Without doubt, your school wins and you watch as Sungchan runs to his team, a big smile on his face. The second he’s done getting pet by the team, however, he rushes to the bleachers, skipping over the steps to you, panting when he stops. The risk he took was definitely not calculated. He holds up one finger while he heaves.

“My cheering worked best this time, it seems,” you say to him, laughing.

His face is flushed from the exertion but he laughs heartily. “You could be yelling profanity at me and it’d still encourage me.”

You shake your head at the cheesy line. He takes a step forward, well inside your space but you don’t mind. He leans in.

“Everyone is looking at us,” he says under his breath. “Is that a good or a bad thing?”

You look behind him to find the whole team, along with your girls sharing furtive glances and giggling at the sight of the two of you. A few of the junior girls slap each other’s arms, bouncing on the balls of their feet in excitement. You’re not a celebrity. But everyone wants to cheer things on once in a while, don’t they?

“Good,” you answer, before pulling him by the shirt into a chaste kiss. When you pull apart, Sungchan’s face is so struck with awe that you want to look away but instead you bite back an obvious smile. It’s about damn time, someone from the soccer team yells.

“Woah. I think I scored a goal either way,” he says, an offbeat smile on his face.

“Oh come on, we didn’t even get to chant ‘Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!’ yet—oh shit, the mic’s on.”

Chenle is definitely getting an earful from your teacher after this. The two of you wave at him at the box and end up laughing at him trying to hide behind the desk. 

As expected, the whole crowd surrounds the two of you in less than a minute’s worth of time, with several congratulations and “good score” offered to the two of you. The boys mess up Sungchan’s hair while the girls compliment you on how cute a couple you are. There’s also the question of when you started dating that pauses the buzz and makes everyone look to the two of you for an answer. Sungchan turns to you and you turn to him, and there’s no way you’ll tell half the school that your confession came in a private hallway outside the field—teenage imaginations run wild. 

Instead, you slip your hand into Sungchan’s and run down the bleachers and towards the exit, laughter spilling from your lips. There’s only one place you can think of going to spend a cool blue late afternoon with.

“Skate plaza?” He asks.

“Skate plaza,” you answer.

[weasleylangs]

swipe right / f.w

Summary: Finding your best friend and your biggest crush on Tinder is always awkward.  Pairing: Muggle!Fred Weasley x Muggle!Fem!Reader Warnings: Discussions of sex, language, alcohol, food/drink mention.  Word Count: 6.9k (this is the longest thing i’ve ever written)

AUTHORS NOTE / hiiiii... this is my first fic in SO long but thank you for waiting for me!!! a huge thank you to my lovely rosie @spacexcowgirl for inspiring this fic and also listening to me ramble on about it for hours on end as i was writing it and for also beta reading it guys this fic rly wouldnt exist if it wasnt for rose so.........

/ also, george’s girlfriend in the fic is named ‘em’ and she has no physical description besides also using she/her pronouns. i’m trying this out so even people who aren’t (primarily) fred simps can self insert in this fic!!!

taglist / @amourtentiaa​ @weelittleweasley​ @lumos-barnes​​ @lumosandnoxwriting​​ @loveboyhalo​​ @harrysweasleys​​ @freds-slut​​ @rcwenaclaw​​ @barneswidow​ @fandomhideout​​​

-------------

Y/N stared at her screen, the Tinder profile of Fred Weasley staring right back at her, teasing her ominously. She eventually decides to lock her phone to avoid the familiar and unwelcomed feelings rising in her throat. The last thing she ever expected to see during her mindless swiping at 1am was her best friend’s Tinder profile. 

She knows it’s hypocritical to feel this way but she’s also not stupid. She and Fred both have had their fair share of dates and hookups thanks to dating apps- they’re in the twenties and single after all. But she can’t shake how weird she feels finding Fred. Like she’s stumbled across something private.

Y/N unlocks her phone again, curiosity eventually making her cave after staring at her ceiling blankly for way too long. 

‘Pros: I’m an Aries (I’ve been told that's a good thing). Cons: I’m an Aries (I’ve been told that’s a bad thing).’

It’s a short and simple bio, much like her own but she has to stifle a choked laugh. She and George’s girlfriend have said these to both the twins and she feels a sense of accomplishment that she can’t explain. Almost like Fred thinking of her while he sets up his dating profile means something. 

She hesitates a moment, debating between swiping left and never thinking about Fred and dating profiles ever again and swiping right just to see what happens. Y/N’s definitely making it a bigger issue than it has to be, which is why she doesn’t realise when George’s girlfriend and her roommate suddenly appears in her doorway holding chocolate.

“Em, it’s 1am and you have work tomorrow?” She questions and the girl in the doorway shrugs, making her way into the room and sitting down without an invitation.

“I can vaguely hear you monologuing next door,” she laughs as she breaks a line of chocolate off the bar and hands it to Y/N. She groans, in her moment of panic she completely forgot about the fact it’s late and their bedroom walls are paper-thin. “All I heard was something about Fred and the word fuck. I hope I’m not interrupting anything…” she winks and Y/N cringes, Em’s usual 15-year-old boy humour shining through as she pops the piece of chocolate in her mouth. 

“You’re hilarious,” Y/N says rolling her eyes but she can’t deny the fondness that’s there for her best friend. “No, you’re not interrupting anything, rather the opposite actually, look.” She passes her unlocked phone to Em and Y/N wishes she could have captured the shocked look on Em's face.

“Fred has a fucking active Tinder?” She’s quickly swiping through his profile and she hates to admit he has good pictures, but when she gets to his bio she snorts and rolls her eyes. “That’s something you say, Y/N.” 

Y/N feels her face go red at Em’s comment. She’s acknowledged this already but when someone else says it she feels like she isn’t being as far fetched as she’s convinced herself. While she outright refuses to acknowledge her feelings for Fred to anyone who isn’t herself, she knows Em knows without having to tell her. Call it best friend instinct, ‘dating-his-twin-brother’ instinct, whatever she pleases, which is why when there’s a mischievous glint in Em’s eyes, Y/N immediately is reaching for her phone. “No.”

Em whines, rolling onto her back. “Why not, you’re so boring!” 

“I am not swiping right on Frederick fucking Weasley.” She feels her face becoming warmer as she says it. Em gives her a look as if to say ‘I believe you’ with a glint in her eye that makes Y/N know she doesn’t. “I’m just never going to open the app again!”

Em rolls her eyes but the fond smile on her face is unmistakable. “And do what, love?” 

Y/N falters for a second before shrugging. “Not perceive his profile. It’ll be gone into the abyss of people who live in London and I’ll never think about it again.” She’s smiling, thinking she’s concocted the most perfect plan.

-----

It wasn’t the most perfect plan, for when Y/N is hanging out with Fred two days later she’s faced yet again with the ‘Tinder Predicament’ as dubbed by Em. Fred and Y/N are sitting in their favourite park, the new spring weather of London on their skin as they soak up the friendly sun rays after a harsh winter. Y/N is laying on her stomach, the book open but she’s barely reading as she pretends to listen to Fred ramble on about only God knows what. 

It’s 11am, not too early for the park to be empty but busy enough that other people are turning up, mostly couples. Y/N tunes Fred out, quickly getting lost in her own thoughts. Do other people think we’re a couple? she thinks to herself. She knows if Em could read her mind she’d say yes and Y/N is quick to push the thought out of her mind. 

Everything is interrupted when her phone lights up with a ‘You’ve got a new match!’ notification and before she can hide it from prying eyes, Fred’s wolf-whistling. 

“You’ve got dating apps, do ya, Y/L/N?” he teases and Y/N wants the Earth to swallow her up, she can’t think of a worse situation to be in. 

“Yeah, don’t you?” The second the words leave her mouth she regrets them. Fred’s smirking at her, a signature smirk of his he only does when she knows he’s up to something. Unfortunately for her, she is on the receiving end of that something.

“Something along the lines of ‘looking for a golden retriever boy?’. Ring any bells, darling?” Y/N feels her blood drain from her body and Fred releases a laugh that can only be described as a full-body chortle. “You know I have one, darling. Besides, you popped up last night. I already knew.” 

Y/N groans. This shouldn’t be as embarrassing as it feels but it’s Fred and knowing Fred has seen her dating profile was low on her wishes for this week, or for her entire life for that matter. 

“Did you at least swipe right on me?” 

It’s said with a teasing manner, falling right out of Y/N’s mouth before she can stop it. Her curiosity always gets the best of her and she wants to kick herself for it. But she doesn’t even notice Fred’s slight falter, the red tint kissing his cheeks and emphasising the freckles across his face at the comment. “You’ll have to swipe right on me to find out.” 

She can’t tell if he’s joking. But Fred is always joking. So she laughs and pushes him slightly, “If I come across your Tinder profile, I’m reporting it.” 

“It would be a blessing from the universe for you to come across my dating profile. I’m sure you’d appreciate my bio.” 

“Let me guess. ‘6’3 if it matters’?” Fred scowls looking down at her and she knows she looks way too proud for that comment but she doesn’t care and after a few seconds, Fred doesn’t care either. He starts to feel a small shred of jealousy from knowing Y/N has a Tinder profile, but he swallows it, tabling it for later when he isn’t with her.

“Why do you have the app?” He blurts out, annoyed at himself for letting it slip out. “Just… Curious, y’know?” He adds on when he notices Y/N looking up at him with an eyebrow raised. He doesn’t really want to know, but the words are out there and the cute scrunch of Y/N’s nose as she thinks of an answer almost makes it worth it.

“Male validation, mostly,” she laughs awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck when she hears Fred laugh along with her. “I don’t know, Freddie.” She says, exasperatedly. “I barely use it. What about you?”

“Sex, if I’m honest.” Now it’s his turn to awkwardly laugh because he knows he answered that way too quickly and a little too honest for his own comfort. Y/N’s been his best friend for years, probably knows him best besides George but she didn’t really need to know he uses his Tinder profile to hook up with people. 

When Y/N doesn’t respond immediately, Fred takes it badly. He knows she would never judge him, not about anything and especially not this, but his thoughts get the best of him and sometimes he can’t help it. He has no idea Y/N is in her own head, jealous other girls get to hold Fred at a distance closer than she ever will. 

He clears his throat and checks his phone to see no notifications besides a direct message from Lee Jordan. He knows George isn’t expecting him home- cursing his brother when he remembers George demanded the flat to himself (and in turn, also Em) today for a few hours. “Hey, uh. I’ve gotta go. Emergency with George apparently.” 

He knows he shouldn’t have lied, it’s not even a good lie but it was the first thing he thought of. He notices Y/N’s eyebrows furrow before she shrugs, nodding before closing her book. “That’s okay, I was getting tired anyway. I might pop back to my flat for a nap.” 

“I’ll see you later, yeah?” Fred asks and his chest feels warm when Y/N meets his face with a smile. 

“Of course, Freddie.” 

She watches Fred leave, her thoughts getting the best of her. She knows for a fact there is no ‘George emergency’- she knows George is with Em probably being sick and in love and she’s sure Fred knows this too. The realisation Fred made an excuse to not spend time with her hits her like a truck, her mind frantically searching for what she could’ve possibly done to upset her best friend. 

“Fuck,” she whispers to herself, the second she realises.

-----

To: Em > if you come home tonight dont mind me being drunk x 

Y/N sends the text as she stands in the kitchen, pouring herself her second glass of wine before it has even hit 6pm. On her way home, she stopped by the liquor store, picked up her favourite wine and decided to drink away the anxieties of upsetting Fred.

From: Em > ill be home. ill pick up chinese on the way. save me some wine!!! x

She smiles down at her phone, knowing Em would always be there without even realising it. She sits down on their couch and turns on the television- old reruns of early 2000s sitcoms playing on almost every channel. 

It’s 20 minutes late when Em turns up. She’s nursing the Chinese food as if it’s a child as she tries to unlock the front door without dropping the food or her bottle of wine. She smiles proudly at Y/N the second she gets in, putting the food on the table before she grabs her own wine glass. 

“What happened today?” 

Y/N is caught off guard but she shouldn’t be shocked. She doesn’t usually drink and when she does, it’s very rarely without Em. “Nothing’s wrong!” she says, skulling the rest of her wine when Em gives her a knowing look.

“You were with Fred today and now you’re sad drinking. What happened?” Usually, she loves when Em is her all-knowing best friend, but right now she wishes she’d shut up. 

“Nothing happened!” She’s adamant to not say too much. She knows it’s probably all in her head, that she and Fred will be fine in a few days but when Em gives her one more knowing look, she breaks. “Okay, fine. I think I upset him today.” 

Em’s confused, to say the least. Fred, for as long as she has known him, has never been upset with Y/N- even on accident. She has the tall redhead wrapped around her finger. “How?” she questions, because she truly can’t think of a single thing that Y/N could do to hurt him. 

Em places Y/N’s food in front of her when she starts speaking. “We were talking about Tinder- don’t give me that look he saw a notification and it came up and he asked why I had it. I said I don’t know and when I asked him, he said he uses it for sex,” Y/N says softly, pouring herself another glass of wine before continuing. “I didn’t say anything when he said that, because… Well… You know why.” 

Em does know. She knew the second she became Y/N’s roommate their first year of University that she had feelings for Fred and she knew immediately Fred liked her too but Y/N’s never believed her. “You think he got upset you didn’t say anything about sex?” 

“I think he thinks I was being judgemental.” Em sighs at Y/N’s response. She loves both her best friends- they’re her favourite people besides George but she knows they can be idiots. They sit in silence for a few minutes, the only sound being the forks against their Chinese containers before Em grab’s Y/N’s phone, unlocking it.

“Well if Fred’s using Tinder for sex, so should you!” she says matter-of-factly and when Y/N groans from the kitchen sink, Em speaks again. “It’s true! He likes you but won’t tell you, you like him but won’t tell anyone! Who’s a good meaningless shag going to hurt?” 

That’s how they end up in Em’s bed, cuddling under the duvet with ice cream and Y/N’s Tinder profile open on her phone. “You’re so fucking picky, holy shit,” Em says when Y/N scrunches her nose up at the sixth consecutive guy. “It’s a shag, not a hand in marriage, love.”

“They don’t do it for me!” Y/N is avoiding the elephant in the room- that she’s comparing every guy that pops up to Fred. “I have to be attracted to them for this meaningless shag you’re preaching about… See, he’s cute!” His name’s Cormac, he’s 21 so only a few years younger than Y/N and he’s not bad looking. 

“He looks like a douchebag!” Em exclaims and Y/N groans. 

“You told me to stop being picky!” 

“Stop being picky doesn’t mean saying yes to the first conventionally attractive guy we see!” Em exclaims as she swipes left on poor Cormac. Y/N gets up to pour herself and Em one more glass of wine each and she hears Em starting giggling to herself when the new profile shows up, hiding the phone from Y/N’s eyes when she walks over. Without even questioning Y/N, Em swipes right and immediately she starts howling laughing. 

‘New Match!’ the screen reads and Y/N feels her breath hitch when snatches the phone from Em’s hands and she sees who she matched with.

Fred, 24. 2km away.

“I remembered after dinner, you said he told you to swipe right to see what he did,” Em says proudly, and Y/N regrets even mentioning it to Em offhandedly. Y/N’s eyes are transfixed on the tiny screen. There’s no way he seriously swiped right, she’s sure it’s only a joke- people jokingly match with their friends all the time. “So here you go, Freddie swiped right on my lil Y/N/N.” 

Y/N shakes her head at this. “I’m sure he only did it as a joke. People do that when they find their friends on Tinder all the time!” she says, sitting back down on the bed and cuddling up next to Em. “You were telling me to swipe right on him last night, after all.” 

Em looks at Y/N and sighs, clearly sensing how uncomfortable Y/N is feeling right now from the confrontation of her feelings for Fred. “I was telling you to swipe right because I know you’re in love with him,” she says softly, not missing the way Y/N’s eyes soften at the mention of her feelings for Fred. “I’m sorry if I’d known-”

“Don’t apologise! I’m just going to ignore the fact we matched,” she says softly, unlocking her phone and immediately exiting from Fred’s profile. The tension from a few moments ago quickly dissipates as Y/N receives another match, this time from a boy named Neville who Y/N knows is friends with Fred’s little brother. 

“When did you swipe on Nev?” Em asks and Y/N shrugs. She knows she probably did it to be funny, like what she thinks Fred’s done to her, but the more she thinks about it, Neville isn’t a bad match. He’s nice, friendly and now he’s in his twenties, he isn’t bad looking either.  

“Nev’s sweet. If he asked me out I’d say yes.” She says. She isn’t lying- there’s been times she’s considered going on dates to avoid her feelings for Fred, to get over him once and for all but whenever it gets to that point, she chickens out. “I know you want a meaningless shag, but I think maybe a date would be a good idea. You know?”

Em nods, pulling Y/N closer to cuddle her and suddenly feeling bad about preaching for meaningless sex. “Maybe you’re more of a date before shagging kind of girl, and that’s okay.” 

“Yeah, maybe.” 

-----

Em’s fast asleep and Y/N’s overthinking next to her when she gets a message from a match. Y/N rolls her eyes when she sees the time reads 2am; knowing whoever's messaging at this time is just looking for a booty call but she opens the notification nonetheless.

From: Fred > i can be a golden retriever boy :) 

She smiles at the message, Fred’s presence always does that to her. She never expected him to message her on tinder considering she’s convinced it was just a joke swipe right, but this is probably just a joking message too. She checks his bio is still the same Aries joke before quickly replying.  

To: Fred > good thing im a big aries fan then ;)  > how tall are you though? im sure youre well aware it matters

She hopes Fred laughs at her messages because making Fred laugh is her favourite pastime. The three dots signalling Fred’s typing pops up and her heart starts to race.

From: Fred

> im 7’5 if its that important :/ 

She giggles and when doesn’t know how to reply after that, she exits out of their messages, but it’s not like she has to keep a conversation with Fred going. She’s trying to think of a funny message to send Fred when she gets another message; this time from Neville.

From: Neville > hi Y/N! i hope this isnt a weird time to message you, i just finished grading some work. i was wondering if you’d like to get dinner sometime this week? we were kind of friends at school, after all, and it’ll be nice to catch up :) 

The message from Neville is sweet, and she almost feels guilty reading it. Attached is his number and everything and Y/N feels her throat closing up. She would feel terrible going on a date with Neville despite what she claimed earlier, knowing her heart currently belongs to Fred. 

But Fred’s lack of interest in her is eating at her as much as her own feelings for him do, and she knows she deserves better than to sit around and wait for him any longer. If Em was awake the date would already be confirmed, she knows that much so she decides to say yes to Neville, to at least put herself out there. She can imagine the little Devil version of Em dancing on her shoulder as she begins to type out a reply to Neville.

She doesn’t even think to look at who it’s being sent to before clicking send. But by then it’s too late- she doesn’t even know how she ended up back in Fred’s messages but now she wants to roll up into a ball and die.

To: Fred > hi neville! id love to grab dinner one day, here’s my number and we can organise it tomorrow because im going to bed now! x

She’s staring at the message for so long she doesn’t even notice the ‘???’ she gets back from Fred. She quickly copies and pastes the message to the right recipient this time before plugging in her phone and rolling over to sleep.

Em’s slight snoring lulls her to sleep, thoughts of Fred filling her mind before she passes out for the night. What she doesn’t know is that while she falls asleep, Fred lays awake, staring at his ceiling. Contemplating the knowledge he has knowing Y/N’s potentially organising a date with one of  his little brother’s best friends. 

-----

Fred hates this feeling; this feeling of jealousy in his stomach that’s threatening to spill out of his throat. He hasn't been able to stop thinking about Y/N accidentally messaging him about a date with another person all morning and he knows George is getting annoyed with him. 

“Why are you being such a prat this morning?” George had asked when Fred scowled at his brother for simply standing in the kitchen. Fred had huffed as a reply, grabbing the milk for his tea before sitting down at their table to munch on his toast.

“Not being a prat,” he says, words muffled by the food in his mouth and George gives him a disgusted look before taking a bite of his own toast. “Do you remember Neville Longbottom?” 

George nods, of course, he knows Neville. “Ron’s friend? Super nice bloke. Think him and Hannah Abbott just broke up, why?” 

Fred shrugs, he’s almost positive it’s the same Neville now. “Think Y/N’s going on a date with him, that’s all.” When George raises his eyebrows, Fred speaks again, “Just wanted to make sure she wasn’t going on a date with a prat.”

“Wanted to know who she is going on a date with in general, more like it,” George mutters under his breath. He knows Fred better than he knows anybody, better than he knows his girlfriend and almost better than he knows himself. “You sure you’re not jealous?”

Fred squints at George. “Why would I be jealous?” Fred stands and makes his way to the kitchen to wash up his dishes and he almost drops them in the sink when George speaks again.

“Because you’re in love with Y/N?” He says it so casually Fred almost chokes on air. He’s never thought about himself and Y/N in that way. Sure they like to cuddle when they’re drunk and they spend every waking moment together but he’s not in love with Y/N.

Is he?

“What makes you say that?” Fred asks quietly, hoping to hide the red blush forming on his cheeks. George might be his best friend and twin brother but he knows he would never live it down admitting he has feelings for Y/N. 

“You two are worse than Em and I, and we’re actually dating,” George speaks as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “When Em first met Y/N, she asked how long you and she had been together for, mate.” 

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Fred says a little too quickly. 

“I’m sure it doesn’t, Freddie,” George smirks as he speaks, getting up to wash his dishes now. Fred stands in the kitchen, nursing his cup of tea as he contemplates George’s words. Sure, he always knew he had some kind of feelings for his best friend, but being in love was another whole ordeal. It means wanting long term commitment, probably a house together, maybe marriage, perhaps kids if Y/N wanted them and the longer Fred sits with these in his mind, he quickly realises he does want all that and even more with Y/N. He’s probably wanted it with her for a while and he just hasn’t ever realised.

“Fuck,” he mumbles, low enough for George not to hear but when Fred doesn’t have a rebuttal to George’s words he knows he’s accidentally sent Fred into an existential crisis. 

“Look, Fred. If Y/N going on a date bothers you, you need to tell her.” George knows he’s about to cross some lines that he promised himself he would never cross but it’s getting dire in his eyes. “Y/N likes you and deep down you know you like her too, even if you’re oblivious. She deserves to know and if you’re too much of a chicken to admit it to her, then you don’t get to be bothered about her going on a date with Neville Longbottom.” 

Fred huffs. He knows George is right, but he can’t help but feel like he truly noticed too late. He swiped right on her on Tinder hoping she would swipe right back and they could go from there. But he knows Y/N only swiped right to see if he had done it first, that she only swiped right out of curiosity and right now, Fred is cursing the app under his breath. 

“Well, fine, yes I like Y/N, but I can’t just stop her from going on a date. That’s controlling and mean.” Fred states and George just sighs. “I’ll talk to her after her date, if it’s meant to be, it’ll be.”

George stares at him. “Since when are you mister Que sera, sera, Freddie?” Fred shrugs, not understanding the reference George made. “Since when are you just letting it happen?” George translates when he notices the blank stare on Fred’s face.

“Since right now. I don’t want to come off controlling to Y/N.” Fred says. In actuality, even though he knows George would never lie to him, he’s scared. Y/N is his best friend and the last thing he ever wants to do is ruin his closest friendship all because of some jealousy. 

“Okay fine, but if she gets a boyfriend, I’m sorry mate,” George says and he knows putting the threat of losing Y/N romantically on the line is harsh, but it’s what he has to do. He’s watched the pair pine for each other for years and he’s sure this is the last straw. 

“We’re going out with the lads in a few days, by the way! Maybe you can stop moping enough for a shag!” George calls out and Fred flips him the finger as he walks off to his bedroom. 

-----

Y/N and Neville decide on getting dinner together three days later. It’s a Friday so neither of them has to worry about work or coursework the next day, which is perfect. Neville tells Y/N about his favourite Italian restaurant right near Old Street subway station in Shoreditch, so that’s where the pair decide to meet. 

It’s rather busy when Y/N gets to the station. Neville has apologised profusely for still being fifteen minutes away but she reassures him it’s fine and that she’ll meet him outside the station so they can walk to the restaurant together. 

Y/N’s on her phone, texting Em and telling her she’s safe when she feels a presence next to her. She tenses up quickly but she soon relaxes when she looks at the person next to her and realises it’s Fred. 

“Hi,” she says, smiling. She hasn’t seen him since the day in the park, but they’ve texted and called so she’s sure everything is fine. “What are you doing all the way on this side of London?” 

Fred smiles and shoves his hands in his jeans pocket before replying, “Grabbing a drink with the lads tonight, love. What about you?” His tone is casual and Y/N has to stop herself from checking him out. He’s dressed in a nice dress shirt, it’s orange and on anyone else, it would clash with his hair but Fred somehow manages to pull it off. He’s got a black jacket over the top of his shirt, alongside black jeans that show off his long and muscular legs on and his outfit is paired off with a pair of boots on his feet. 

He’s not making it easy to get over him, that’s for sure. 

“I’ve got a date,” she’s shy when she says it, looking away from Fred and then back down at her phone. The time reads 6:47pm and Neville’s train will be getting in any second now. She’s trying to get over Fred and the last thing she needs is Fred lingering when said date turns up. 

“Ah yes, with Neville, if I remember correctly,” Fred’s teasing and Y/N has to force a laugh out. She blocked out the fact she’d accidentally messaged him instead of Neville and was hoping he would forget as well. But this is Fred she was talking about, and Fred never lets up a chance to tease Y/N for something.

“Yeah, Neville Longbottom,” she says and she catches the look of recognition that flashes across Fred’s face. “He was friends with your brother in school.” 

Fred nods in acknowledgement while he can’t decide whether or not he’s happy with the confirmation that he was right. He’s sad and jealous, that much is obvious, but he’s a little happy. Happy that even though Y/N is going on a date with someone who isn’t himself, it’s someone he knows would treat her like she deserves. 

“Neville’s a good guy, I’m happy for you,” he forces out and Y/N smiles up at Fred and he wants to sink into the Earth. The smile on her face is one he wants to be the cause for forever. “I should get going, tell Nev hello for me!”

He pulls Y/N into a quick hug, presses a quick kiss absentmindedly on the top of her head before letting her go and crossing the street and making his way to the bar he’s meeting Lee, George, Harry and Ron at. 

Y/N watches him leave, dumbfounded. The kiss on the top of her head is nothing less than usual; Fred’s always been touchy with her but now it feels weird. All she wants is to call out to Fred and demand the redhead take her on a date instead. 

But before Y/N can do anything drastic, she hears Neville call out her name and she turns around quickly. He’s just as sweet and cute as she remembers and even if she wishes Fred was the boy she was on a date with, Neville is someone she would be friends with above anything. 

“I hope you weren’t waiting too long!” He says when he reaches her, kissing her cheek as Y/N pulls him into a hug. His presence is comforting and he smells like cinnamon and Y/N feels herself instantly relax.

“Not too long!” She replies as she begins walking towards the restaurant with Neville. During Spring, the cold weather still returns at night so their hands are shoved inside their jacket pockets to keep warm but they’re walking closely together. “I ran into Fred just before, so he kept me company.”

“Good, I’m glad,” Neville says as he grabs the door to the restaurant, “can’t have a pretty girl waiting outside a subway station alone.” Y/N feels her cheeks heat up at his comment. 

They’re quickly seated and wine is ordered. They’ve been placed in a booth right near the window, where they’re able to watch the City of London go by. “How’s teaching going?” Y/N asks when she remembers Neville recently graduated and got an immediate job offer at the Agriculture department at a college in Surrey. 

“It’s going well! I specifically teach the floriculture courses so I love it, of course,” Neville’s smile couldn’t get any wider. Y/N specifically remembers his constant fascination with plants and flowers in school and she couldn’t be happier for him to be doing what he so clearly loves, “What about you?” 

“Being hammered by my postgrad coursework,” she says, laughing and taking a sip of her wine. “My job at the bookstore near my flat doesn’t suck but I definitely don’t work as much as I used to, unfortunately.” Neville raises his glass, almost to say I’ll drink to that when the waiter comes over to take their order.

Dinner goes quickly, conversation flows easily between the two and soon enough the bill arrives and Neville grabs the cheque before Y/N can even say anything. “You can grab it next time.” 

Y/N falters at this. She knows she should say something to Neville; that this has been nice but there won’t be a second date. She’s too caught up in her panic and she’s beginning to curse Fred Weasley under her breath when Neville gently places his hand on the small of her back to lead her out of the restaurant. 

“Are you okay?” Neville asks when they get outside. He noticed the tensed look on Y/N’s face the second they got outside and when she nods and sighs he takes it as a sign to stop walking.

“This has been nice, Nev,” she starts and she feels terrible even though she knows it’s better, to be honest. “But I don’t think I’m-”

“Ready for a relationship?” Neville finishes for her, and he’s not condescending when he says it. He could tell even before dinner was finished that she probably felt that way and he doesn’t mind. “I don’t think I am either. But this was fun, was it not?” 

Y/N nods, smiling as the anxieties of hurting Neville wash away. “It was fun!” she says, “I hope we can do it again. Even as friends?” 

He nods back, a warm smile gracing his cheeks. “Of course.”

They walk back to the station together, promises of seeing each other again soon leaves their mouths as they walk to their respective platforms. 

From: Neville  > thanks for tonight. i forgot to mention, please tell me when you’re home safe!

She smiles down at the text, shooting Neville a reply of reassurance that she will before opening her messages with Em to let her know she’s on her way home. She’s jumping through her apps, Snapchat that she only uses for filters, Facebook she only uses to check the ‘Dogspotting’ group until she lands on Instagram. 

She sees a story from George and when she opens it, she immediately regrets it. It’s their friendship group, that much she expected but she sees a girl sitting next to Fred nursing what looks like a Gin and Tonic and Y/N feels sick. 

She immediately closes the app, pretending she didn’t see it. She has no right to be upset over this but it plagues her thoughts for the entire subway trip home.

That’s when she decides she’s going to demand answers from Fred. She doesn’t know how, or when or if she’ll even do it without Em forcing her to, but she knows she deserves better. That she doesn’t deserve to hang on the end of every touch, every word of Fred’s in hopes he’ll hold her closer than arm's length while she desperately wants more. 

-----

The next night, Fred’s laying on his couch in an uncomfortable position searching Netflix at 10pm when he hears a knock at the front door. He knows it isn’t George, or any member of his family for that matter and any normal person would ring before coming over this late at night. So when Fred gets up and looks through his peephole to ensure he’s not about to be murdered, he’s shocked to see an angry-looking Y/N.  

He opens the door and she’s immediately inside, pushing past Fred’s body and when she turns around, she has the most determined look on her face he’s ever seen. 

“I’m annoyed at you.” Fred’s taken aback, he tries to think back at their interaction the evening before, trying to piece together anything that would annoy Y/N but he’s coming up blank.

“What did I do?” He wearily asks and when Y/N purses her lips together and looks like she’s about to cry Fred has to resist the urge to apologise without knowing what he needs to apologise for.

“I’m annoyed at you because,” she pauses and takes a shaky breath, “I’m annoyed because I went on a date last night. I went on a date with the loveliest man I’ve ever met. And I spent the whole fucking time wishing I was on a date with you. And I’ve spent all of today debating coming over here and telling you that so I drank half of Em’s bottle of wine for some liquid courage and here I fucking am!” 

That’s the last thing Fred was expecting to come out of Y/N’s mouth. “Well, that’s not-” 

“I’m not finished.” She stares at Fred and he immediately shuts up. 

“I’ve been in love with you for years and it’s not fair on me anymore, Freddie.” Her voice is shaking like she needs to get everything out as soon as possible. “I need to know if you feel anything for me, even in the slightest, because if I need to move on, I’m begging you to be honest with me.” 

Fred feels his heartbreak at how sweet, how broken, how defeated Y/N looked standing in front of him right now. He can see the need for an honest answer swimming in Y/N’s eyes and he’s never felt braver to admit his feelings than he does right now.

“I’m an idiot,” Y/N scoffs but lets him continue, “because I didn’t realise how fucking in love with you I am until I almost lost you. I thought…” he pauses, looking for the right words and when his eyes meet Y/N’s, there’s a softness there that wasn’t there previously. “I thought what we had was normal; the cuddling, the constant need to be with each other, the constant subtle touches. But George knocked some sense into me.” Y/N lets out a breath as she laughs, of course, it was George’s doing.

“I’m in love with you, and I think I have been since we were 17. So I’m so fucking sorry, for ever letting you think you meant any less to me, my love.” 

Y/N’s eyes are overflowing with tears at his words and Fred panics for a second before he sees the biggest and most loving smile overtake Y/N’s face. “Fucking hell, you big dummy.” 

She crosses the room, quicker than she’s ever moved before and pulls Fred’s 6’3 frame into her arms. She feels Fred pull her away, only slightly, so he can look down into her eyes and cup her cheek with his hand. His thumb is providing comfort as it strokes across her cheek and wiping away any stray tears. 

She cups the outside of his hand with her own and brings her face to the side to kiss his palm. This is the closest the two have ever been and both their hearts feel like they could beat out of their chests at any moment. It’s the adrenaline from this moment that causes Fred to blurt out his next question, without any hesitation.

“Can I please kiss you before I die?” 

Y/N laughs as she looks up at Fred. She doesn’t even give him an answer, she just pulls the tall boy down before locking their lips together. They’ve both kissed plenty of people, had many first kisses whether it be with first dates or partners but they can both agree this is the best kiss either of them has ever experienced. 

Y/N is pouring everything she can into the kiss, knowing she will never get tired of the taste of caramel that she will forever associate with kissing the love of her life. She presses her lips harder against his, her tongue running along Fred’s chapped lips asking for more before he opens his mouth to massage his tongue with hers. 

Fred decides to be a tease, pulling back slightly before capturing her lips again and biting her bottom lip slightly. This action pulls a moan from Y/N’s throat, soft enough that Fred almost misses it but he can’t help but smirk into the kiss. He wants nothing more than to kiss Y/N for the rest of his life, but eventually, he has to pull away to catch his breath and the whine that leaves Y/N’s mouth might be the cutest sound he’s ever heard in his life. 

“I hope to God you know I’m never letting you kiss anyone else ever again, holy shit,” she says, cheeks flushed red and when she looks at Fred she thinks she’s fallen even further in love with him. His hair’s messy, thanks to her running her hands through it and his lips are slightly swollen. She thinks this might be the most beautiful she’s ever seen Fred in her life and if this is how gorgeous he looks after a few minutes of kissing, she’s secretly anticipating how gorgeous he’s going to look laying in her bed, naked. 

Fred smiles dopily down at her, “Don’t worry darling, I never want to be with someone who isn’t you ever again.”

[calmthefuckdownalright]

"Godsend" I: Young Gods

(A/N: I'm using Roman Numerals for these chapter parts just fyi)

Summary: The gods are bored so as a game they each choose a champion, the god of death being left out of the game chooses his own without the others knowing. But no one expected the turn out of their actions to be that of a fairytale.

Warnings: carnage, death, violence, war, immortality, crush panic

Next |

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"Eight cries of children born. Wails of the purest forms known to man. Untouched by the world's cruelty and merciless sword. Two could end humanity with a mere wish of their minds. Three were capable to enact more destruction than the world could ever see. And the final three would be the buffers for that destruction. By the end of it all only two would be without a half and only one would survive this loneliness."

As decreed in the Songs of Men.

Philza Watson was raised on these songs. These poems. Even from an early childhood he knew he was part of it, the prophecy. How though? No one had any idea about how to find these eight children with immense power.

Philza knew though. He knew by the curve of his fledgling obsidian wings. By the pounding in his head that matched the heartbeat of the one closest to him. By the uncanny knowing of when his parents would die and how.

Philza knew. And he hadn't told anyone. Not even his mother knew of the heartbeats. Of the wings on his back. Philza's father wasn't around much. There was a war in their kingdom. One with the Mountain Peoples to the North, that was what Philza knew of it anyway. His mother had refused to tell him much of anything about it.

So the way his mother kept that secret, he kept his. His wings. They would be an abomination to the village of small farms and firstly children. So Death taught him to hide them.

Death...Philza's true father in his own mind. Though Death never said if they were a man or a woman, nor did it seem like they were either, Philza saw them as a Father. They taught him everything he knew. How to hide the downy wings and resist the urge to speak in a language no one knew.

Death gave Philza books and taught him how to fight. Death taught Philza everything. How to cheat and how to spot it. How to lose and how to triumph. Death was Philza's father most days. Others he was his teacher. His enemy in sparring. His enemy today.

"You're too slow in your reaction," Death's hollow voice echoed off the cave walls. Mountains surrounded the farmer village and everyday Philza commuted out to this cave to train.

"You aren't telling me how to get faster!" Philza growled and got up off his knee. A thin trickle of blood oozed from his quick healing skin. Death had sliced his arm and a mere scratch appeared with the blade had cut. A sign Philza's immortal invincibility was kicking in at last. Used to he'd come home with moss piled on top his wounds and his tunic stained red. His mother never quite asked where'd he been or what happened. She was occupied in waiting for his father to return with a new flesh wound and darker look in his eyes. Or not at all as Philza knew would inevitably happen deep in his boyhood heart.

"I thought you were smarter Philza," Death drawled on and kicked the long sword back to their pupil.

"I thought you were kinder." Philza grunted and adjusted their grip and stance. Death had never gone this hard at Philza before. He was only 14...how was he expected to compete on this level with a god?!

"Death is not kind." Death huffed and began the motions again, each swing parried or dodged by Philza even as the speed grew.

"Now you're referring in the 3rd person. How sad." Philza smiled smugly and twisted out of the reach of Death's sword. He wasnt fast enough to swing his sword to block the next blow. Instead he stumbled back and hit the wall of the cave. Death's sword became a scythe and Philza felt his heart flutter in fear. Death had never summoned their true weapon in their sparring before.

Philza wasnt even concerned on landing a blow of his own, he was greater afraid of not surviving this session. Death's eyes were a cold white under the deep black hood shadowing their face. A cowl. A cloth the color of the deepest grave stretched over where Death's mouth would be and swung down to only end in tatters at their chest.

"Death stop! Please!" Philza begged and ducked under the quick blade of the scythe only to feel the butt of it crash into his chest with such a force he fell to his back and lost his breath.

"Mercy is not an option." Death growled and set their foot on Philza's surely bruised chest, and pressed down. Philza felt a pain so sharp it was like an arrow point slicing his finger as a child, before the invincibility took root.

He gasped as Death pressed harder till Philza was sure his chest would crumble under the boot of his teacher. He'd never felt such fear, such desperation.

'This is what you get for being smug you bastard.' He thought to himself and pushed back on Death's boot. A feeble attempt as Death replied with more pressure.

Philza cried out as tears pricked at his eyes. Adrenaline shot up his arms and a new strength pulsed in his veins. Philza screamed in his boyhood as he felt Death's foot budge. An inch then another till he could finally breathe again.

With just enough distance put between Death and Philza's chest he rolled. Philza unset Death's balance and watched as his opponent stumbled for a mere moment. A moment long enough for Philza to retrieve a dagger stashed on his belt and throw it. The blade caught Death's cloak and drug their immortal body to the stone wall, pinning them there. Philza was on them in an instant with his sword retrieved and set on Death's pale throat.

"Well done," Death rumbled and Philza thought he saw a smile twitch under the cloth covering Death's face. "Well done indeed. Do you see yourself, my Champion? Look at what you are." Death was smiling. A rotten smile made of bones and a skinless jaw.

Philza looked into Death's eyes and saw someone he didn't recognize. He saw a man in place of a boy. This man's wings were three times the size of Philza's. His hair down to his shoulders and covered by a green and white striped hat. This man wore a black cloak like Death but a green kimono underneath. This man looked vengeful. Exhausted from years of battle. This man was scarred physically and mentally.

This man was what Philza knew he would be one day, whether he saw it physically or not in Death's eye. He knew, and now he had the evidence to know it truly.

💚60 Years Later💚

Philza had begged once. In that spar session with Death he had truly thought he would die and wished it not so. Now he was 74 in place of that scared 14 year old. He was almost the man he saw in Death's eyes. Even after 60 years he was not yet the man he was to be.

He had the scruff and tired bags under his sapphire eyes. The scars from many battles won. And his wings were things of legend. He didn't wear a green kimono but he did enjoy the color. Philza's hair stretched down his neck but not quite the shoulders as Death's eyes revealed.

Philza Watson was an elder in a young man's body. He'd witnessed the rise and fall of empires. Destroyed armies with the swing of his sword. He'd founded nations and tore them down. The Angel of Death was a legend, and now he wandered into a pub called the Hoglin. The only known place with a portal to another realm.

The Nether.

Supposedly it was founded by a native of the place. A whole family of Pigmen built if before tragedy struck. The oldest of the founder's children became possessed and slaughtered the whole family in the night.

When questioned, the killer claimed he didn't remember it. The King that pressed charges against the convicted, Technoblade Philza believed the killer's name to be, led his kingdom to war and lost horribly. According to legend, Technoblade offered his assistance and won them the war in exchange for his freedom. With that freedom he befell the kingdom and destroyed the government in a matter of hours.

Technoblade was a legend beside Philza, and now he was finally able to meet him. Least to say he was kind of hard to miss.

The bar was crowded with drunken males flaunting their stories and fantastical tales of war. Philza heard their heartbeats. One, no two, would be dead by morning due to drinking. They had too much ale or bourbon or whisky and it would kill them. He could see through the eyes of another he would kill someone tonight as well. A young woman? Through what Philza could see of the kill it would be mutual. Through her last actions she would kill the man and they would die together. A tragic tale.

'How pathetic.' Philza scoffed and lowered the green and white hat atop his head as he squeezed past several other people, careful to keep his wings tight under the cloak covering his frame.

Philza spotted the man he searched for in the back of the pub. A river of cherry pink covered and ran down his head and onto his broad shoulders. A cape the color of blood rested there. It looked Royal, perhaps the cape of the King he killed in the stories.

Technoblade's face was covered by what appeared to be a mask but as Philza got closer he realized it to be his real features. The face of a pig rested easily on Technoblade from the nose up. From his mouth and below he was human. Philza caught himself staring at her another peculiar piece of his fellow legend. He wore a crown. And not just any crown, a CROWN. It wasnt rounded like the posh ones the rulers wear on their coronation, this one was as intricate as the one that sat upon the King's head today.

Gold danced around the spikes and spears etched into its surface with jewels of every color popping out of the metal. From the way Technoblade was so relaxed in a bar with drunken men and thieves, Philza assumed that thing was either cursed or heavily protected by its wearer.

"Angelus Mortis." A gruff voice came from the pigman. A dark scarlet iris floated lonely in Technoblade's eye as he addressed the man in green.

'Angel of Death. He speaks Latin?' Philza stood stiff as he analyzed what he could possibly say in return. He'd never known another to speak the language of the dead.

"Iuvenis Deus." Philza finally thought out and sat across the table from the man with a calm heartbeat and beautiful crown.

"Young god? Is that what you think I am?" Technoblade chuckled and sat back in his chair. It creaked from the broad movement.

"That is what I am." Philza stated. "I can smell the death from you. You're a killer who shouldn't be able to kill anymore yet you look not hardly a day older than myself."

"I've spent the last 60 years fighting for my beliefs if that is what you mean by such slaughterous words." Technoblade scoffed. He was obviously not very trusting to the man across the table.

"Yet we do not have gray hair." Philza pointed out. Having never met each other there was a kind of draw between them. A cord of some kind taking them down the dame rabbit hole.

"Who are you?" Technoblade growled a little in his words.

"Philza Watson. Pleased to make your acquaintance Blood God." Phil stood up and let his wings stretch out under his cloak, casting a shadow over the pub. Technoblade's eyes widened, shrinking that crimson iris to a pinprick. The screaming began and bottles smashed. Philza kept us hand outstretched to the pigman.

"It really is you." Technoblade breathed and Philza let a small snicker escape him.

"In the flesh. 74 years old and still kicking like a flegeling." He smiled snd Technoblade took his hand as he stood. "Now let's blow this place to Hell."

And they did....

They did it to many places. Starting in small shops and pubs run by greedy men serving even greedier kings and reaching up to the nobles and monarchs of the realm.

Within a few months the world knew their names and now the prophecy had two of the unnamed eight children on the gods found.

Kingdom after Kingdom fell at their hands and soon very few were left, but one stood tall over the masses. A place called Crowseye ruled by the Halo family and the Crimson Egg Battalion defending their borders.

"Rumor has it the real Halo family is kind and hang the Crimson Egg is some kind of curse type thing. Possessed them basically." Technoblade drug a rock over the broad sword resting on his leg. A sharp sound reverberating along the burrow walls.

"Rumors have it we already have a revolution gathering for us. Led by some Lord William and his niece. Kristal or something." Philza smiled at his friend. "Says she's our age as well. 'parently her Uncle wished her youth or some bullshit when she was born. He wanted a female heir according to legend. Poor man's nearly a century old and his only relative is his niece."

"How wonderful. Perhaps we can place another King on a throne then topple him as well to only have a Queen take his place." Technoblade scoffed and examined his blade carefully. Monarchy was his least favorite form of government. Kings or Queens.

"Yeah sure." Philza hesitated on the idea. Taking down the corrupt ideas of government was fun, and totally on his boat of missions, but something felt...dead inside him. Like he was simply going through the motions. In all of the years he'd been fighting he never knew he'd feel this empty of his purpose.

Philza and Technoblade were made to kill. Death and Blood side by side, slaughtering their way through their enemies with minimal efforts. It was the fate of the world for them to kill. So why did Philza feel so off?

"I'm gonna go for a fly. Be back in a bit." Philza finally decided and walked out the burrow without so much a word coming from either men as one departed.

Philza didn't waste time in flying to the Revolution's camp. It wasnt far away at all and easy to spot in the valleys and plains outstretched beyond him. A sturdy gathering of tents and campfires. He flew high, casting a shadow along the land below in the dusk light. Philza lowered himself several yards from the camp just as to not warrant a panic and arrows shot at him. It'd be a shame if the people they were trying to help tried killing him.

"Halt intruder." A demanding voice halted Philza's steps as he turned to face the owner of the voice.

Sat atop a speckled gray horse was a woman. A beautiful woman with long black hair and a wide set frame that silhouetted gorgeously against the evening sun. Philza stood dumbstruck as the steed angled itself according to its rider and Philza caught the woman's eye in his own. A doe brown rimmed by what seemed like a hazy violet that Philza thought would take him his entire mortal life to describe in words worthy enough.

"State your name and business." She commanded and Philza felt his face flush as she drew a sword from its sheath with unprecedented skill.

"I-I'm Philza Watson, Angel of Death, and I have come to offer my assistance in your fight for freedom." Philza stuttered in the start and held up his hands in surrender as the woman dismounted easily.

"The Angel of Death?" The woman scoffed and Philza suddenly thought perhaps she wasn't as great as her appearance seemed. Yet her heart didn't quicken at his title or the shift of his wings.

"Am I the butt of a joke I don't know about?" Philza let a small smile creep up his face as the lady sheathed her sword and planted her hands on her hips, relaxed.

"No not at all, its just..." She let out a snicker. "You're so formal. The stories tell you as a man of pure vengeance. No mercy or surrender under any circumstances. Kill first, ask questions never sort of thing." The woman ranted on.

"I-I'm sorry who are you?" Philza dropped his hands and narrowed his eyes as the woman outstretched her hand.

"Kristen. My Uncle is Lord William." Kristen smiled sweetly and Philza felt his heart drop.

Oh how the mighty shall fall...

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Did you like it? I liked it...I'm very excited and I wish I could draw so I could show you all my exact vision but I cannot so you'll have to do for my poorly written descriptions of a fictional character's eyes or mannerisms.

Anyways, goodnight my loves.

[negandarylsatisfaction]

[SUMMARY: PREAPOCALYPSE. Negan lies to Lucinda about not being able to have children. She takes matters into her own hands and during a sexual encounter makes him finish inside her. (Inspired by Bridgerton series)

Smut

TW: rape/ non con

Negan and Lucinda

Negan and you had met almost a year ago. Being a manager at a supermarket he shopped at, he always made it a point to act like he had something to talk to the manager about. Eventually asking you out on a date, in time the two of you had become serious with each other.

"How does this look?" You asked Negan as you placed a small frame of seashells in the bathroom.

"Well...you sure gave the place a womans touch," his response making you laugh.

The two of you enjoyed dinner together and a movie at home. A commerical of a pregnant woman came up and it made you smile. Children was something you had already been thinking about with Negan. The conversation had never really been spoken of as you noticed Negan would react strangely to the topic.

"Negan...dont you ever think we're missing something?" The question instantly making him clear his throat, he knew where this conversation was going.

"Not at all, sweetheart. What could we be missing? We're fucking great."

"I know we're great...but I still think we can be greater." Remaing silent he took a sip of his beer making you sigh.

"Negan dont you want to have children?" The question making him choke on his drink.

"Lucinda..that's a conversation for another time."

"What other time, you cant just tell me if you want children or not?" With a serious expression he ignored your question watching the show, his reaction making you annoyed.

"Come on Negan. It's not like we will make one at this moment, you cant just answer the question?"

"Lucinda-"

"You never want to talk about this and it's not fair to me, this is something that we should've spoken about long ago."

"Lucinda!" He suddenly yelled as he stood up in frustration.

"Lucinda. I fucking cant." He looked away as you frowned in confusion.

"What do you mean you cant?" You looked up at him as he turned his back to you with his hands on his hips.

"Lucinda I cant get you pregnant."

"But....I dont understand.." you looked down puzzled. If Negan could not get you pregnant, why did he always pull out every time he had sex with you? What was the point in that.

"What's there not to understand?" He aggresivly turned back to you, clear frustration buried within him.

"I can't give you a damn baby. Now drop it."

Never had Negan spoken to you in such a way. It wasnt fair for him to drop something of this magnitude on to you and just want it dropped without conversation. Leaving you alone in the living room you still wondered how accurate what he said was. You could feel it in you, something did not sound right.

After giving him some time to cool off you approached the bedroom. He lay with one hand behind his head, his eyes on the tv.

"Come here." He unexpectedly spoke shutting the television off. Walking into the room, slowly he pulled you into bed beside him and began kissing you.

"I dont like arguing with you." His deep voice penetrated your ears as he kissed your neck. His hand roaming over your thighs as he nibbled on your ear lobe. Before you knew it both of your clothes were off and Negan was on top of you. Passionately thrusting into you, you moaned against his lips. Gripping tightly onto his back as he continued to move, you could hear him breathing heavily against you. Usually when Negan finished you were either on your back or your knees, today you insisted on trying something different. Knowing his body language and the sounds he'd make when he was close to cumming you waited beneath him as he slammed into you. Screaming against him Negan cursed to himself. It was obvious he was trying his best not to blow. Without him expecting it, you rolled yourself over on top of him and began to ride him. If Negan really couldnt have children you didnt see why your plan would be a problem at all. He looked down at the sight of you hopping on his cock, you noticed him begin to break a sweat.

"Lucinda-" he groaned and you knew this was it, he was about to cum.

"Lucinda...get off.." you felt his hands on your hips attempt to pull you off but the feel of you riding him faster weakened him. Negan turned as red as you had ever seen him as he moaned loudly. Squeezing his eyes shut and tightly grabbing onto your thighs his deep moans filled the room.

"Fuck-" you felt his hips uncontrollably jerk up against you as you slowed down. Throwing his head back, you stopped your movement until he weakly looked down at you.

"Shit....why did you do that?" He asked breathlessly as you remained still on top of him. You could still feel his cock throbbing inside you. The feeling was something you had never felt before and god did it feel amazing. But, the shocked expression in his eyes distracted you from completely enjoying it.

"What's wrong?" You whispered.

"Get up." He responded bluntly making you feel confused. Without saying a word you stood up and watched him put a towel around his waist and light a cigarette.

"Negan?"

"I'll go to the pharmacy and get you that fucking pill." He spoke in a dry tone as you covered yourself up with the blanket.

"What pill?"

"That morning after shit."

"Why would I need one?" You responded stepping close to him. Your question making him look at you at a loss for words.

"Negan....why would I need one? Unless.....unless-" you frowned as you came to realization that Negan had lied to you. Tears welling up in your eyes you looked away feeling shame.

"If you didnt want to have children with me you could've simply told me."

"No, Lucinda its not-" before he could finish you ran to the bathroom slamming the door shut. With a sigh of frustration Negan pulled up his pants and made his way to you. Knocking on the bathroom door, Negan called out for you. Regret in his voice as you remained silent wrapped in the covers sitting on the toilet.

"Lucinda open the door."

Wiping away a tear you could hear him taking a deep breath on the other side.

"Baby, it's not about you alright? It's not the way you're thinking-"

"Yes it is!" You suddenly opened the door yelling at him in frustration.

"Stop lying to me, I'm not a little girl. You dont want me to be the mother of your child and that's fine, that's how you feel." Negan frowned listening to you speak with the voice of a broken heart. You truly had no idea how this man felt about you.

"You think I wouldnt want to see you as the mother of my child?" Negan stepped close to you as you looked up at him.

"Look at me. What kind of a fucking father do I'd look like I'd be?" His words were filled with self disappointment and sadness. It crushed you as you realized that it was himself that he didnt believe in.

"You would be amazing." You whispered placing your hand on his chest.

"You dont even give yourself a chance, Negan." Looking down at you as he took in what you expressed, he pulled you close.

"You really think I could be a good dad?"

"The best," you smiled as you looked down at his lips.

"But...if you still want to get the pill. We can do that."

Negan felt conflicted, wanting to have a family with you but doubting himself ate him alive.

The next day Negan purchased the pill. Without saying anything of it you found it sitting at the dining table. You understood Negans way of feeling but boy did you wish you could change it. You wished you could make him see himself from your point of view. Negan stood at the kitchen doorway silently watching you stare at the pill packet in your hand. Not being able to hold himself back he unexpectedly rushed into the kitchen and pulled the packet out of your hand. Throwing it to the side, you gasped as Negan grabbed you and began to kiss you. Roughly he picked you up and sat you down on the counter. Moaning in excitment you felt him reach under your skirt and pull your underwear off. His kisses were intense as you heard the heavy buckle from his belt break open.

"Negan, what's gotten in to you?" You laughed as he kissed your neck. Negan was always a very sexual man but something seemed more aggresive in his nature today. You didnt mind it at all, you loved feeling wanted by him. The two of you moaned simultaneously at the feel of your bodies coming together as one. Negan did not hesitate and pumped into you hard.

"Oh my God-" you gasped wrapping your arms around him. His eyes intense, never taking them off yours.

"This what you want?" He moved aggresivly knocking down things off the counter with each thrust. Moaning and gasping against him you heard him mumble something to himself you couldn't make out. He was an animal, grunting against you but it only aroused you more.

Negan grabbed your neck by one hand and looked directly into your eyes.

"You want to have my baby?" He suddenly asked breathlessly as he held your face.

"Yes, Negan. Yes." You cried out when he bit down on his bottom lip and grunted with one last hard thrust. The look he had as he held onto you tightly making you take in every drop of him made your lips part. Another hard thrust making you squeal as he made you take all of him in. Furrowed brows as he concentrated on your expression, the thought of releasing himself in you unexpectedly turned him on.

Negan pulled out as you leaned back against the wall, the two of you attempting to catch your breath.

"Negan.." you whispered in shock.

"Are you sure...?" You asked before he took the pill that was thrown on the table and got compeltely rid of it. Never had Negan been so sure with what he wanted and he was sure he wanted it with you.

[marshmellobunny64]

A3 eng news rambling ignore me

(Ignore the typos and bad punctuation n stuff if you actually read im so bad at writing. Im bad at words i know)

Bro i had the biggest crying fit finding this news on Twitter last night I literally had a hard time sleeping. I spent most of the day today thinking about it so i need somewhere to dump it all out and i feel less exposed on here venting.

I honestly can’t believe that its ending so soon.

It sucks being able to only read in eng/spa. Even then i can only really read eng cause i never really read things in spanish. Like man its nice being bilingual but i wish i was multilingual and knew every language that ever existed. Theres so many things im missing out on and it frustrates me that i cant learn things quick enough ; n ;.

Whats hecking me up even more is that im losing the thing that’s literally been what’s been fueling me to draw for these past almost two years.

Im not joking when i tell you ive got so much stuff still packed in my wips. Like its crazy not even my kpop art matches up to the amount of stuff i churned out for a3 and ive been drawing that for way longer. I never even managed to go past like 5 days on a prompt thing ever but i somehow got to get to 22 thanks to this game.

The last time I had something make me go crazy making art like this was vld but it wasnt even close to this tbh

This game is really special to me so it’s really heartbreaking to lose it. Like i feel like i was literally growing up together with it which is kinda silly to say but its true i did grow with it.

Ngl almost feels like im losing a super close friend because they suddenly have to move away.

Im really gonna miss it.

Im so glad I decided to play this game though like i don’t regret a single moment of it (maybe gem buying i do kinda regret lol) but yeah no i regret nothing.

I feel extremely lucky being able to play such an amazing game and Im truly thankful for a3 eng.

Im def not gonna give up drawing a3 fanart anytime soon thats for sure. Nor do i want to leave the fandom yet cause bro the entire a3 community is so wonderful 😭. Ive literally never been in such a chill/kind space with so many nice people if you get what i mean.

Im not gonna quit trying to read after they officially close the server either. I cant let go of these characters just yet especially with how the jpn server is still ongoing. Gonna have to rely on translations now cause i gotta see everyone bloom no matter what >:’U ❤️

Ok i think ive emptied my brain enough. Sorry for all my nonsense. Ill be ok. I hope you all will be ok too. Im not good at sending comforting words but im sending hugs to those who need it.

[starshipsofstarlord]

Hard Lives - Jason Todd x Reader

It was unfair. The whole team seemed to hold a grudge against Jason, for what reason you did not know. He was cocky and arrogant, but he was harmless, to the team at least. He needed more experience, or so Bruce said, but he wasn’t being given it. Dick wanted him and the rest of you teenagers to stay in the Titans base. But it was clear Jason didn’t want to.

You didn’t either, but you were obeying the adults to the best of your ability. If they wanted you to remain put, it was in your best interest to do so.

From the way they treated him he became distant, retreating into his own quarters and limiting his socialisation to talking to Gar.

Jason liked to train. He wanted to be the best Robin he could. You envied his skill, and here you currently were, watching him take out his frustrations in a stick battle with the green haired boy.

Bruce's adoptee appeared to be winning, throwing his stick to the back of Gar's legs so that he fell onto the mat. The vigilante smirked, offering the closest person he had to a friend a hand up.

Gar accepted, shaking it before coming towards the exit, where you were stationed.

"He's not that bad." He told you, suspicious of your hovering.

Perhaps he thought you wrote examining the flaws in Robin's agility, or noticing how he was almost too cocky and confident with his physical ability. But you weren't. If anything, you'd consider what you were doing as admiring.

"I'm not judging tiger." You smirked at the blush that crept upon the meta human's face, watching as he bowed his head and fled to the hallway.

You enjoyed having that affect upon people. You had learnt a lot from those who had raised you. Your mothers as they were known.

Green eyes darted to you. Jason had spotted you. "Don't you have a circus to run or some plants to grow?"

His voice hunted his irritance. He knew that you had been raised by Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn, and he happened to hold it against you.

"Don't you have some blue eggs to squeeze out?" You retorted, coming away from the doorway and walking slowly towards Jason Todd.

"Funny." He simply remarked, not moving as you adventure closer. "What is the reason I am graced with your hilarious presence?"

The stick was still grasped in his left hand, since he had swapped it from his right when aiding Gar to his feet.

"Is it so hard to believe that I'm not here to taunt you or put you down like the others do?"

Hank was a criminal for it. He would purposely anger Jason, often ending in both a verbal and physical fight. You'd have thought that Hank, a grown man, would have more maturity than pick on a kid but apparently not.

Rachel made her occasional comments, whether that be away from his ears or not. Even if they were, Jason was well aware that she had a problem with him, even if it wasnt personal.

Kori never really had an opinion of him whatsoever. She had her own problems and it was visible that he was appreciative that she didn't consider him one of them.

Dawn kept her distance, but still stopped Hank from getting too into bullying the teenager. She was mature, not stupid. She was well aware of what Jason was capable of.

Dick always put him down. Telling him he could do and be better. It may have had the intention of being encouragement but it didn't work that way. It made his life even harder, reminding him that he wasn't the only Robin. Maybe he didn't want to be a copy of the Robin that Dick was. Just maybe he wanted to be his own version.

"Yes." He answered, tightening his grip whilst looking you in the eye the same way an enemy would.

It was stupid this whole ordeal was. Harley and Ivy stole you when you were a child from what you assumed to be a loving mother and hard working father. Yet Jason treated you as if it was your fault that you landed in their custody.

The others were nicer about the situation, possibly because you had distanced yourself from those villainous figures, and you were obedient. The same couldn't be said for Jason. He hated all of the rules that were set.

It was fine for him beforehand, when he had the full run of Wayne Manor. He could do whatever he wanted. But this was a base, a training facility that sheltered you all until you were ready to take on the real action.

"For all the time we have been here, I don't recall once doing such a thing." You smiled at him, but he only grimaced at the expression you put on your face. "Tell me if you do, refresh my memory if it's mistaken."

Jason couldn't hell himself, his eyes were trained to roll whenever you tried to be a smart ass. "Is it just a game to you? Why do you pretend to be so nice to me?"

It came blurting out of his mouth and he realised after. He had never voiced such a thing before.

"I don't pretend Jason." You told him, crossing your arms and looking down. "I've heard how hard your life was before Bruce, and I thought I'd cut you some slack. God knows that you need it."

He locked his lips nervously. He usually tried to present himself as proud and cocky, but it seemed that you had set off that switch in him.

"Do you maybe want to get out of here?" For all he knew, you would shove the offer back in his face or laugh at him for actually believing that you were joking all along. But you didn't. Instead you sent him a warm smile, one that you were clearly containing.

"And where do you have in mind?" You asked, knowing that you could trust him. You were a part of the same team, of course you could. If you couldn't have faith in one another, you couldn't have it in yourself.

...

Dick stopped Dawn when he saw her. This place, the past that came with it was a lot for them all to take in. But this was Titans Tower, a home for those who could do good with the bad in them.

"Have you seen Jason and (Y/N)?" Dawn wasnt the first person he had asked. He had yet to go around the rest of the tower, Gar had told him he saw you enter the training room just as he was leaving, but it was now empty.

"Maybe you should check the roof." She informed him. It wasnt meant to bring up their history, but when Dawn and Dick had been together, that had been their spot.

The sky was calming, even if it was under the influence of a storm. It was away from the world, and that was something they needed when being a hero.

He nodded at her, clambering up to where the roof was. And then he saw something he had never expected when he laid his feet on the very top surface.

You and Jason. It was a warm day, and the two of you barely noticed. The pair of you were curled into one another, with your eyes shut and your breathing calm.

This was how he wanted to see the two of you. Acting like teenagers instead of vigilantes in training.

The two of you had had such hard lives you deserved a break, and that was clearly what the two of you were having. Except you were sharing the time, seeing each other in a vulnerable state.

It made Dick feel old. He wasn't that old, but still, you kids were all growing up under their care, finding yourselves and each other.

...

You and Jason entered the dining space, together. Donna raised an eyebrow but remained silent.

Dick smirked at the Robin replacement, noticing how the boy kept stealing glances at you.

"I think you got a little burnt on the roof." Hank laughed at mostly Jason, which made him lower his head and shrink back into himself once again.

"He can't get burnt if he's already smoking hot." You defended him, leaning Hawk and everyone else at the table speechless.

Gar tried to stifle his laugh, but failed. For once he was happy to see you making someone other than him flustered.

And Jason was clearly flustered. His cheeks were glowing coral, and it wasn't due to the sun's beaming rays.

"You don't actually have a thing for him, do you?" Rachel attempted to joke, twirling her fork in her dominant hand.

"So what if I do?" You challenged her. The two of you got along, but you didn't appreciate anyone picking on Jason. It wasnt fair, they weren't even giving him a chance. "Perhaps you'd understand why if you stopped treating him like the shit on the bottom of your shoe."

"(Y/N)." Dick scolded you for your language but you ignored him.

You had let everyone's behaviour towards Jason slide for far too long. Today was the end of it, you'd ensure that. "No." You said to him. "None of you have even given him a chance, except for a few of us. You all look down at him or think of him as some rich spoilt boy. Maybe if you got to know him, or paid the littlest attention to detail, you would see how uncomfortable you all make him. He's human, like most of us in this room. He's done nothing but try and save our asses or follow Bruce's orders yet you still disregard him as the public does to us. Perhaps if you weren't such hypocrites, then you'd see the affect you are having on a teenage boy! "

There was nothing more you had to say, so you left, without eating or looking at Jason once more.

Dick tried to call you back, but instead you went to your room, where you hoped no one would bother you.

....

A fist lightly tapped your door. "I swear to god if it's you Rachel, I will got to the kitchen on a personal vendetta and grab that fork you were using and stab it into that stupid gem on your forehead."

But when you opened it you weren't met with Rachel. It was Jason.

"I hope you're not gonna stab me in the forehead." He sheepishly smiled, and you could only do the same. It was nice to hear him cracking the littlest of jokes.

You widened the entrance of your room, opening it so that he could enter. After he did, you shut it.

"Are you okay?" You were concerned. You knew the opinions of everyone in that room took a toll on him.

"I am after your explosive rant." He grabbed your hand. And then he frowned. "You must be hungry." He concluded.

"I'm fine." You assured him.

"Well we could always go out onto the streets and find some random food cart that serves overly expensive hot dogs." Jason still hadn't let go of your hand, and you didn't mind.

You let him see the warm smile again. "I'd like that." And you did.

[hello-yue-here]

About your atla ship songs, I have a couple of questions (sorry if my phrasing comes out wrong, english isn't my first language and I worry it might across as accidentally defensive): how did you end up with the choices for zukka, jetko and yuekka (note: I haven't seen the great comet, so feel free to obsess over it, I'm intrigued now and the hype is appreciated!)? Sidenote: I think the mailee choice is HILARIOUS and the tokka one just make me sad, I didn't expect to be attacked like this😭

kdjfha;s i love you im gonna obsess SO HARD over great comet now. you may regret this

this is gonna be so long so the rest is under the cut whoops

yuekka: no one else from great comet

where do i even begin. WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN

okay so background information on this show: it's based off of a 76 oages excerpt from war and peace and its centered around a woman named natasha (and this guy pierre but he's irrelevant to this song so we wont worry about him) and natasha's bethrothed is off fighting in the war right now. she hasn't seen him in a while but she is in love with him.

every single lyrics of this song SCREAMS yuekka to me. the innocence and purity of their love. the love at first sight. and even the melancholy ending just- i go apeshit for this song. i love this song so much. and denee benton's voice??? kljsdhflwksugf please listen to this song if you haven't already. listen to the whole show. your life will be changed forever.

onto the lyrics (i stg this is ab to be the whole song whoops)

"the moon"

THOSE ARE THE FIRST WORDS ON THE SONG. natasha and andre (her bethrothed) met underneath the moonlight. Sokka and Yue first spoke to eachother at night and always met each other for their most intimate moments under the moonlight. also yue is LITERALLY the moon so like: right of the bat with those two words it's yuekka.

"and i saw your eyes / and i saw your smile / and the world opened wide"

sokka fell in love with yue the moment he saw her in the canal. she literally enchanted this motherfucker. everything about her made his heart go crazy. and 'the world opened wide' to me is from yue's perspective. Yue had never left the north pole and sokka had seen a good chuck of the world at the point. He took her on appa, he told her about his adventures. he saw the world yue wished to see and you know damn well that Sokka would have done anything to give it to her.

"oh the moon /oh the snow in the moonlight / and your childlike eyes and your distant smile / ill never be this happy again / you and i and no one else"

natasha sings fondly about the moon and the snow, seeing as it was where she fell in love with andre. yue and sokka LITERALLY fell in love in the same place: in the snowy nothern water tribe under the light of the moon. childlike eyes: THEYRE CHILDREN!!! distant smile: this is where it gets a little sad. theyre both children with way too many duties during a world that has known nothing but war for the past century. they want to be happy but yeah, theyre smiles are distant and far away because happiness seems out of reach for them most of the time. i'll never be this happy again: the moments yue and sokka shared together were probably the happiest either of them ever were. they were able to ignore the war and the world in the moments they shared together. and with no one else. no one else would be able to give each other this sense of peace and happiness and love.

"joy and life inside our souls / and no body knows just you and me / it's our secret"

Yue and Sokka had to sneak out in secret at night to go and see each other. Yue and Sokka couldn't be together for real because Yue was already engaged, but they were literally in love so she decided to see him anyways in secret. kasdjfhklasjd im losing my mind over them at this point.

"this winer sky / how can anyone sleep / there was never such a night before / i feel like putting my arms around my knees / and squeezing tight as possible / and flying away"

these are my FAVORITE lines in the entire song. yue and sokka had never felt this strongly about anyone before and that's why they are so drawn to each other. they had never experienced love before and they wanted to hold onto it for as long as they could even though they knew they couldnt. Sokka takes yue up on appa and she is wistful and wishes she could live like he does every day: ie flying away. oh my god these two deserved so much better. so much fucking better.

now for the saddes part. the saddest fucking part.

"maybe he'll come today / maybe he came already / and he's sitting in the drawing room / and i simply forgot"

natasha misses andre so intensely at this point. when i first listened to this show and heard this song i was like "wait a min... is andre like... dead?" and im sure i wasnt the only person who assumed that this was why natasha felt so sad by the end of such a beautiful song. (spoiler alert andre is fine)

but this line really exemplifies how sad natasha is, and hints at the fact that andre may never come back. it implies that their relationship is doomed (at least in my opinion) and that's all yuekka. Sokka misses yue intensely when shes gone. Yue accepted her fate almost immediately but sokka was in denial. he thought there had to be another way. but in the end it wasn't meant to be. and sokka will go on, loving yue, wishing for her back, even though it's not possible.

fuck im gonna cry.

zukka: all i've ever known- hadestown

"i was alone so long / i didn't even know that i was lonely / out in the cold so long / i didnt even know that i was cold"

sokka is from the swt so theres where the cold comes in. also in the gaang (initially) it was just him katara and aang. and katara and aang were much closer to each other than sokka was with aang and the two of them were benders so sokka was kind of an outsider with the two of them. He also represses a lot of his emotions and feels the need to do everything himself so i do see a lot of loneliness in sokka. and the fact that so many people in his life have left him (his mom, yue, his dad, suki briefly, etc...) he is known to keep people at an arms length. i see a lot of loneliness in sokka.

zuko's loneliness is a lot more obvious: he has literally been cast out and abandoned by everyone except iroh. and even then he still feels the need to be alone (remember zuko alone? thought so) these boys look after themselves and push others away and revel in their loneliness in order to keep themselves from getting hurt. at least in my opinion on canon and also some fanon because id be a liar if i said fanon didnt influence how i view ALL my ships (not just zukka)

"all ive ever known is how to hold my own / but now I wanna hold you too"

COME ONE MANNNN, they just wanna hold each other. theyre both very big protectors as well and kljhflkasdhg they wanna protect eachother like kljdhfl im gonna lose it rn.

"You take me in your arms / And suddenly there's sunlight all around me / Everything bright and warm / And shining like it never did before / And for a moment I forget / Just how dark and cold it gets"

SUNLIGHT SYMBOLISM. zuko is literally powered by the sun. i don't think i even NEED to elaborate on this one anymore lol. They find comfort in each other away from all of their trauma. when they're together nothing else matters and i personally love that for them. they both deserve love.

"I knew you before we met / And I don't even know you yet / All I know is your someone I have always known"

these two are extremely similar in canon. many parallels. older brothers overshadowed by their prodigy little sisters. longing to make their fathers proud (granted one dad is good and one is fuckin evil), both are pretty bad with emotions. both are seen protecting others before themselves (sokka protecting suki during the serpant's pass, sokka protecting toph on like multiple occassions, zuko protecting katara in the final agni kai), the list goes on. they know who the other is because they see themselves in the other person. they already know each other because they are each other (in a way, not entirely, but the similarities are strong in my opinion)

"I'm gonna hold you forever / The wind will never change on us / Long as we stay with each other / Then it will always be like this"

i just think this line is so cute and sweet (ignoring all the symbolism and foreshadowing that comes with the last line in the musical itself. im gonna pretend this is nothing but happy) and i think these boys deserve happiness so yeah. this song is zukka to me lol.

jetko: thrill of first love- falsettoes

if you've never listened to this song go an do it now. you will know INSTANTLY that it is jetko because of the dynamics alone. marvin and whizzer are pure jetko and i take no crticisms.

marvin and whizzer are both extremely stubborn, and they don't always get along, and they fight a lot, and they get mad at each other a lot, and they are both passionate as hell, and they will bring this passion into everything. they love each other that is without a doubt, but they arent perfect and they are once again stubborn and determined as fuck.

sound familiar? it's literally jetko.

the lyrics aren't what remind me of jetko, but the dynamic itself. the lyrics are too on the nose for a gay couple in 1970's america so that rlly cant apply to jetko all that much. but the way these two characters bounce off of each other and get annoyed with each other and argue with eachother reminds me of jetko. because let's be honest: these two are the most stubborn characters in the whole show. they will fight for what they believe and it will take literally everything to change their minds.

i love jetko but i think they would have petty arguments all the time and get aggravated by one another so easily. and this is even seen in canon: they work so fucking well together but they did not even HESITATE to fight one another after neither of them would give in and let the fight about whether jet was right or wrong about zuko being a firebender. like i cannot say it enough they are stubborn as fuck.

but underneath all that stubborn pettiness and bickering: marvin and whizzer still love each other. and jet and zuko would still love each other. because even though they are stubborn when it comes to arguments, they are even more stubborn and determined when it comes to each other. these two passionate motherfuckers are in love.

(now when i chose this song i decided to ignore the fact that this song literally spells out the fact that marvin and whizzer's relatinoship is doomed because they literally say passion dies. thats the difference between jetko and whizzer and marvin because i dont think passion dies. i chose this song strictly for the bickering lmao)

and i know you didnt ask about tokka but,,,,

i rlly wanna talk about the tokka one

so im going to

tokka: on my own- les mis

look. i KNOW this song is about unrequited love and i love tokka as a couple but,,, the unrequited love in this song just SCREAMS unrequited tokka to me so thats what i went with.

eponine is a girl who has neglectful parents who lives life by her own rules: toph. eponine is shown to be tough and confident and spunky to others but behind all of that she has emotions, she feels love, she hides her vulnerability so much: toph. she is in love with a guy she cant be with because he loves someone else: TOPH

eponine is toph to a t and toph is eponine to a t. this is not up for debate lmao

"without him i feel his arms around me"

toph is always seen grabbing onto someone (and its almost ALWAYS sokka) when she's somewhere where she can't use her feet to see. FEEL and ARMS cmon. look at it.

"and i know / i know that he is blind"

COME ON. IMAGINE TOPH SINGING THIS LINE. this line is already powerful enough in les mis but having toph, a blind character, sing it just makes the symbolism even deeper. toph sees the potential relationship they could have together. toph sees that sokka is oblivious to this. toph is not blind to the truth or the potention, but sokka is blind to her feelings. im about to lose my mind over this line.

"I love him / But every day I'm learning / All my life / I've only been pretending / Without me / His world will go on turning / A world that's full of happiness / That I have never known"

i need to sit down for a moment. toph grew up in a household where her parents did not understand her. she has learned to hide her true emotions and vulnerabilities from everyone. and its the fact that toph knows that she and sokka will never be together and the fact that she still loves him in spite of that is what makes this even more heartbreaking.

"but only on my own"

TOPH AND EPONINE SWEETIES I LOVE YOU

thank you for indulging my theatre kid nonsense. you are very sweet and kind and lovely and awesome and i hope you have a lovely day bestie :) <3

ask me why i think these songs go with these ships

[zmayadw]

And the next one as promised :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 6

The day i got released form hospital finaly came. I was happy about it, taking a breath of fresh air will be a welcoming change after over three weeks in here. Some bruises wer still visable, and my head hurted from time to time, but other then that the doctor gave me a green light. And having too much free time makes your toughts wonder in wrong direction too much. Thinking about Jake was my daily routine, and i hoped once i get out other things will get me occupied. Jessy wanted me to stay with her, but i managed to persuade her that i'd be better of at the motel. She reluclantly agreed, but I argued that i would still be resting most of the time, and promised her we will see eachother every day, wich made her respect my decision a bit more. She called me that moring, telling Dan will come and drive me to the motel, because she was bussy planing a surprise for me. „Oh, Jessy, pleas dont go overboard, it is my first day out, i wont be up for much.“ I protested, but she quickly reasured me its nothing big. Knowing Jessy, i was sceptical about it, but she sounded so happy that i just agreed to whatever she had in plan. I was about done packing, when Doris came bringing me my dischrage papers. She gave them to me, embracing me in a tight hug „You be good now, hun. And remember what i told you before.“ She said, giving me one more of her winks. „Thank you, Doris.“ I replied, handig her a chocholate bombonier i asked Jessy to get me. „For everything.“ I hugged her once more. „No need to thank me, hun.“  „Ahh, Doris, im jelaous, i didnt get a hug from you when i was leaving the hospital.“ It was Dan, being dramatic again. I laughed, as Doris went for the door „Schmacks dont deserve hugs!“ she grinned at him, and left. „She likes me...she just wont admit it.“ Dan said, grining. „So,you ready to leave this shithole?“ „Definatly!“ i said, taking my discharge papers and putting them in my pack. Dan took it from me, and we left the room, taking the elevator down. Stepping outside was so refreshing, i stopped at the exit for a brief moment, wich made Dan turn „You allrigh there?“ „Im good, just appriciate being outside again.“ I smiled. We continued to the car. Dan opened the door for me, putted my stuff on the back seat, and we drove towards motel. I rolled the window down letting the cool morning air blow to my face and through my hair. The drive wouldnt last that long, and Dan informed me that Jessy booked the room for me already and took the rest of my stuff there, and my car also waiting for me at the motels parking. „Dan, whats Jessy planing for me today?“ i asked. „Oh, no,no, im keeping my mouth shut!“ he replied, but i groaned at him pleading „Please, Dan, at least give me a hint. I just got out of hospital, and to be honest, im not up for big fanfaras, but i dont want to dissapoint Jessy either. And lets be honest, its Jessy wer talking about here, nothing is small or meaningless with her.“ He laughed at that „Your right about that! Alright, ill tell you, but if she realize you knew something..“ „Dont worry, i can act being genuinely surprised with no problem.“ I asured him. „Well, its nothing much, rellay. We're taking you for dinner.“ he said. Ok, thats not so bad, i tought, i do have to eat. „And she invited the gang to Aurora this evening, to celebrate your release from hospital.“ Ugh, i hoped that wouldnt happen so soon, that i would at least have a day or so for me before seeing everyone. „Ah, crap, i guess it was bound to happen sooner or later.“ I said, adding „Later would be better, tho.“ „Dont worry, Maya, ill be there to rescue you, AGAIN.“ He grinned at me, and i grinned back „Good, because i just might need some rescuing, again.“

Dan left me at the motel, and i entered the small checkin office. The woman behind the counter was eldery, and she smiled at me „Good morning, miss, what can i do for you?“. „Morning'“ i replied, smiling back „I had a room booked for me by a friend, i guess you know her, Jessica Hawkins?“. She smiled more now „Ah, ofcourse, miss Cole i presume?“ i nooded in agreement. „Yes, Jessica brought all your belongings already. I would just ask for you to fill this, please.“ She handed me that check in paper you get at every motel. I filled it, and she gave me the key.“You're at room 11, its on your right once you leave the office. And i'm Ms. Walter, fell free to ask if you need anything.“ „Thanks, i will.“ I replied, taking the key.

The room looked cozy enough. It had a big bed, with a little nightstand next to it with a lamp on it. There was a midium size table in front of a big window, wich i immidiatly felt greatefull for, since some natural light is what i prefere for my drawing work, and a closet next to it. Across from the bed was a  TV, and a little refrigeratore under it. The bathroom was small, wich is more then enough. I left my stuff on the bed, when i noticed a note on the nightstand. 'The car key is in the nightstand drawer. Get some rest, and see you later! Xoxo' It was from Jessy, and that made me smile. I took the key and went to the car to get the rest of my stuff. The day was nice and sunny, and i tought i souldnt spend the whole day in the motel. I went back to the room, unpacked, grabed some clean clothes and went for a shower. When i got dressed i sat at te table and turned my laptop on. I checked my mails, and some job offers. Its good when you're a freelancer, you can work from anywhere, and I actually felt some work might keep me occupied and not let my mind wonder to Jake.  The tought of him leaving my hospital room  two weeks ago still pained me, but i cant sit here and despair all the time, so i decided to grab my drawing stuff and head exploring. I hoped Jessy wouldt mind me going to town alone, she did promise me a grand tour of it once im out of the hospital. I took my phone and texted her „Hey hey, setteled at the motel. Going for a walk arround, but dont worry, im still looking forward for my tour arround Duskwood with you! xoxo“. She replied soon „Oh, nice, have fun! Just stay out of woods! xD See you for dinner J „. Great, now i could leave without feeling any guilt. I grabbed my backpack and left the motel.

I decidet to walk towards the marketplace, i had plenty of time since it wasnt even noon yet, and Jessy and Dan wont pick me up before 19. I passed a small bakery on my way there, and bought me some food and a bottle of water. The streets leading towards marketplace wer small and narrow, mostly with older buildings and pretty quiet. After some 30-40 minutes of slow walk,  i emerged to the marketplace, and it was comepletly different. The crowd thickened, and the place hummed with life. In the center was a nice funtain, with benches in circle arround it. Few wer occupied with people: one had an eldery couple, just sitting there on the sun and talking, on the other wer two mothers, drinking coffee while kids wer running arround, giggling and enjoying a nice day. I sat on one of the free benches, and took my drawing pad out. The warmth of the sun felt nice, and i began drawing. I can get quite zoomed out of my surroundings when drawing, so when i finaly noticed someone was standing in front of me, i jumped, and my penciles flew all over the floor. I started to stan up from the bench, at the same time that someone started to bend down to help pick them up,our heads coliding. That sent me sitting back on the banch, as both of us groaned from the impact. „Auch.“ I flinched, looking at the person stnding there. It was Jake. „Sorry, i didnt mean to sneak up on you.“ he said, still rubbing his forehead. „No, no, its fine, i was really focused, i didnt see you there.“ I barely managed to say, my voice shakey, clumsely picking my penciles from the floor.He was the last person i expected to run into. I really wasnt ready for this, the knot in my stomach starting to form, as i finaly collected all the penciles and sat back on the bench. I knew we wer gonna run at each other eventualy, but not so soon. He sat next to me, and i could notice by his body language he was a bit nervouse, too. „You look better.“ he said after a moment of silence, giving me a small smile, wich made my heart skip from joy. „Thanks, i feel much better,too.“ I replied, smiling back. He was looking at me so tenderly, and the heat from the sun made me so hot, i had a feeling my cheeks wer red as a lobster. He run his hand through his hair, and all i could think is how much i wanna do that. His look became more serious now, his eyes becoming darker, but that tenderness was still present. „Maya..“ he started „That day at the hospital.. I didnt..I'm sorry..“ but i interupted him. „No need to appologise, Jake, really.“ And he really didnt have to. I continued, before he could say anything else. „Look, its like this: you had every right to act like you did, and even tho it wasnt easy for me to hear you say those stuff, you wer right, in a way.“ He looked me a bit confused. „You wer probably right, I didnt think quite hard about every possible thing that could go wrong, and God knows i had more luck then im willing to admit. But thats just who i am: i act, i go with the flow, i make mistakes. And i appologise when I realize I was wrong, wich I would do to you if you just stayed for a while more. And i mean appologise for not telling you, or anyone about my plan, not for what i did at the end, hence me saying that you wer right in a way.“ I looked at him, he was still calm, not a trace of that anger i saw at the hospital anywhere on his face. That made me relax a bit. „Maya, just let me...“ he started again, but i interputed him once more „Please, Jake, just let me finish, then you can say whatever you wnat.“ He nodded in agreement. „ I know saying 'sorry' at that time seemed so pointless, but you have to know that i really am sorry, Jake, a thousand times sorry. Yet, i still stand by what i said, i would do it all over again, no matter the qonsequences.“ I paused for a moment, before i continued „I really hope you can forgive me. I got so used at having you in my life, and for it to end here and now...“ He looked at me, but i couldnt bring myself to look back at him. I just stared at my hands, not realizing this whole time i was clasping them so tightly. „I hope you wont shut me out of your life comepletly.“ We sat there in silence for what seemed like eternity. I got my courage and looked at him. He was staring in the distance now. „I felt helpless.“ he said, looking back at me now. „It got me...scared.“ he confessed, and i ached to just hug him. I could see this was being hard for him, saying it. „I've had that happen once before in my life, and it didnt end well.“ His eyes became so sad. „I'm not sure im ready to go through it again.“ That knot at my stomach tightened as he said it, but i took a deep breath „I understand. I'v let you down, i know. But i hope with time, you will be able to trust me again..let me be your friend, at least.“ Friend...that word felt so wrong to me. I didnt want to be just his 'friend', i wanted to be more, so much more. But, i guess at the moment i would be happy with anything. He stared at me for a moment, and before he said it, a smile formed at the corner of his lips „One step at the time.“ „Thats all im asking.“ I said, smiling shyly. He sat there in silence for a brief moment before slowely getting up. „You're good, by the way.“ He said, and i looked at him puzzeled, wich made him smile. He had such a sincere and wonderfull smile. „Your drawing, its good.“ He continued, pointing at my drawing pad. „Oh, that, thanks!“ i replied. „I better be good, i doubt i'll get paid otherwise .“ i grinned. He shook his head at me smiling, walking slowely away from the bench „See you arround, Maya.“ „See you, Jake.“ Watching him walk away this time didnt leave me in pain and agony. I felt hope again. Maybe Doris and Jessy weren't talking nonsence, afterall, I tought, not realising i was grinning like crazy.

After Jake left, i just sat there, letting my heart stop beating insanely. I was really happy for how our unexpected meeting went, i tought there really was some hope for us again. Oh man, Jessy will go crazy when i tell her all about it, she will so rub me her ' i told you so's' in the face! That got me laughing out loud, a few passerbys looking at me like i was crazy. And they wer right, i was crazy! Crazy for Jake. Everything about him drow me crazy: his gorgeous eyes, that ruffeled hair, and that beautifull smile. He shoud definatly smile more, i tought, his whole face smiles when he does it. The churchbell chimmed five , and i cursed under my breath. I better head back to the motel, i need another shower for sure. I quickly grabbed my stuff from the bench, deciding to grab coffee before headiding back. My toughts wer still running wild about Jake as i was walking back towards motel, i colided with a man. I almost dropped my coffe, quickly appologizing. „Be carefull there, miss, you never know who you might bump into.“  He said, a bit grim, like he was makeing a threath. I looked at him a bit astonished „Uhm, i will mister, thanks for your advice. And, sorry again!“ I slowly turned and continued my way. Strange guy i tought, but didnt pay any more toughts about it continuing back to the motel.

[snaketherapy]

A Pull

Soulmate au where you have a curse of some sorts until you've made eye contact with your soulmate.

Roceit, sleepxiety/criqxiety/anxination, background lomile.

~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~

Roman had grown quite fond of the small coffee shop. It was quiet, which Roman wasnt usually fond of but this was different. It was calming, healing almost. He had stumbled upon it when he felt some sort of pull towards it. He thought it might've been the cute exterior or the smell of fresh coffee and baked goods but Roman soon figured out it was a lot more.

Of course, he couldnt talk to the people working there but luckily a few of them knew sign language. It was also LGBTQ friendly so that was a plus.

Roman was sitting at a table when he got a text, it was from his best friend. Roman had known Virgil since he was around 11 and they had been inseparable ever since. They had different personalitys but similar interests. Guys, Disney, baking and surprisingly makeup and fashion.

He opened the message and waved to the staff before grabbing his coffee and bag and leaving. He walked over to Virgil's apartment and knocked on the door. It was quickly opened and Roman was basically thrown onto the couch. Roman raised an eyebrow at Virgil, who looked to be either having an existential crisis or a gay panic attack. 'Are you okay?' Roman signed and Virgil shook his head. "Ro, I can see colours! Well half of them but still!" Roman immedietly got up off the couch and smiled at Virgil excitedly. 'You met your soulmate! What are they like?' He signed and Virgil gulped and nervously chuckled. "I didnt exactly meet them... I must have ran into them when I was at dad's library. I wasn't paying attention but I must have seen them cause I can see some colours..." Roman gave Virgil a deadpan look. He then sighed and grabbed Virgil's wrist, he's not letting his bestfriend lose his soulmate.

Roman dragged Virgil back to the library. They said hi to Virgil's dads first before looking around the place but they couldnt find Virgil's soulmate, he could've told it was them in an instant. Virgil slumped over in one of the chairs that was in the corner of the nonfiction section and sighed, he really messed up this time. Roman frowned, he has to help Virgil somehow. He shook his head, trying to think of a way to find the person. Maybe Logan had an idea?

Roman grabbed Virgil's hand and led him over to the front desk, where Logan was chatting with Emile. "Oh do you how do Roman?" Emile asked cheerfully and Roman shrugged. The two parents looked at their son and his best friend confused. "You see, I may have seen my soulmate but not made eye contact so now I can only see some colours but and they're pretty faint... I don't know who they are. I think I saw them when I came in a while ago." Emile and Logan frowned, seeing their sons distress. "Do you have any clue of what they look like? If not we could probably find a book about soulmates and find a way to find them." Virgil took a deep breath and tried to remember who he had saw. He remembered brown hair, a pair of sunglasses and a leather jacket. "I don't remember much but I think they were male and were wearing sunglasses and a leather jacket."

Logan and Emile looked at each other, both of them smiling. "I think we have a few ideas of who your looking for." Logan said as he stood up. Virgil looked at his dad confused. "Do you remember Patton Moralis? He has three sons. Their names are Remy, Dice and Nate. They all dress similar and came in today so I don't know which one it could be, it could be two or all of them actually."

Virgil looked at his dad's with widened eyes. "I could have multiple soulmates?" He asked and Emile nodded. "Yep! It's actually not as rare as you'd think it is." Virgil nodded and took a deep breath. "Virgil, how many and which colours can you see?" Logan asked and Virgil looked around.

"3, I think." Logan nodded and smiled. "Well you might have more than one soulmate. You can never properly tell but usually for people with colour curses or similar curses see around half when they dont fully meet their soulmate. But if you did see 5 or 6 colours there is still a chance of you having multiple soulmates." Virgil sighed internally. "Great, more people to disappoint..." Roman glared at him, he didnt like it when his best friend talked bad about himself.

The two talked with Virgil's parents for a while before Virgil grabbed a soulmate book and started to read. They skipped the boring parts and went to contacting soulmates, which Virgil read out loud. "There are several ways to contact soulmates. Sharing thoughts, hearing what they, sensing what they feel and sometimes even seeing what they see. But sometimes it just happens by itself, sometimes you can feel a pull or a flutter in your chest when your near your soulmate. Something in your mind can tell you to go a certain way, or even a certain place." Virgil continued on reading but Roman wasnt listening.

A pull? Perhaps finding the coffee shop wasnt just luck, maybe it was fate! Virgil stopped reading when he saw Roman's bright expression. 'Remember the coffee shop I told you about?' Virgil nodded, his eyebrow raised as he waited for Roman to continue. 'Well when I first saw it I felt a pull, my soulmate might've been there!' He signed happily. Virgil smiled, maybe he would feel better if they found Roman's soulmate first. "Then let's go! Maybe they're still there." Virgil said as they got up.

They waved to Logan and Emile before walking out of the book shop and ran down to the coffee shop, which took around 15 minutes. By the time they got there Virgil looked like he was about to collapse. Roman smiled amusingly as Virgil doubled over and held his stomach. "I forgot that you were in track and feild a year ago." Virgil said as soon as he got his breath back. Roman just continued smiling and walked into the coffee shop, Virgil following behind.

Virgil smiled when he entered the shop, he wasn't a fan about coffee but it was surprisingly calming. Roman gestured for him to sit down at a table and he did so as his best friend sat across from him. The two talked for a bit until Roman felt a pull to his left. He looked over to the seats near the windows and his heart basically stopped as he saw who was sitting there. The stranger looked Roman's way and they locked eyes and Roman felt like a weight was lifted off his chest.

Roman felt his cheeks heat up, they were cute! They had gorgeous blonde locks that was semi covered by a black beanie. They were wearing a pair of ripped blue Jean's and a cream white turtleneck under a long black jacket with gold buttons. "In the name of Poseidon..." Virgil looked at his best friend shocked, did he just talk? Roman turned to Virgil with a bright smile. "Virgil, I'll be right back!" Roman said as he got up and walked off towards the other table.

Virgil smiled, he was happy for his best friend. He heard someone clear their throat and he looked away from his friend to the person infront of him. Well, there was actually three.

"Oh hi, sorry-" He was cut off when he locked eyes with one of them, the colours becoming brighter. He then turned to the other two and meeting their eyes and suddenly all the colours came to Virgil.

The three looked very similar but had small differences. They were all wearing black leather jackets and sunglasses but one had a black scarf, one's shirt had sleep written on it and the others jacket was done up unlike the others. Virgil couldn't form words, why was he cursed with not one but three handsome soulmates?

The one with sleep written on their shirt laughed. "Hey there babes, you must be my soulmate. I'm Remy, I'm glad I can finally see you properly." The other two looked at Remy shocked. "I guess we're also your soulmates. I'm Nate and this is Dice." The one with the zipped up jacket says, glancing anxiously at his feet as if he was about to fall over.

Virgil introduced himself and the three started to talk. Dice's curse was not being able to lie so he had hurt a lot of people's feelings, Remy's was having very sensitive eyes and had bad migraines a lot and Nate's was being insanely clumsy and having a bad case of procrastination.

Roman smiled as he walked over to the table. He accidentally didn't say anything and signed to say hello and introduce himself. He was a bit surprised when the cute stranger signed back, smiling as they did so. The two signed to talk, feeling more comfortable that way. Roman learned that their name was Janus and they used they/them pronouns. They eventually got to the topic of curses and Roman felt bad for Janus when they told him. 'I could only speak in lies and I had a hard time hearing. I can hear perfectly now though.' They signed and Roman nodded.

'I used to not be able to speak, but I think I can now though.' The two continued signing to eachother, talking some times but not being used to it so mostly signing.

Roman was glad he had decided to walk into the coffeeshop that day, and Virgil was glad too. The two had found their soulmates and couldn't be happier.

[littlx-songbxrd]

okok here it is, i don't have a working title yet lol and i wrote the first like three paragraphs a year ago and only now finished it

but uh here it is ig (it's long so below the cut)

oh and i named the characters before i read chog believe it or not so there is no correlation lol

Prologue - Cordelia

May brings with it the memory of battles fought and won and the ever looming presence of a war not quite lost but certainly nowhere near done. As I hand out threadbare blankets around the flickering fires of the temporary war camp, I have to force my mind not to stray to all the people who should be here but are not. Well, the one person, really. I don’t allow myself to dwell, for I know that if I let my heart open to loss, there will be no hope at closing the hole left behind. No one here will tolerate that.

Yet no one criticizes Halen when she fumbles and breaks her fragile composure, storming out of the planning tent, the memories glistening in her eyes threatening to spill over. No, when it’s her, they rush to comfort her, to appease her, and they tell her to take all the time she needs. After all, has the poor girl not been through enough? they whisper pityingly as though we all haven’t lost others to this fight. But, of course, it’s not my place to comment on the actions of the mighty Chosen One. Even if she is my friend.

I look down to find my hands are empty. Tir has taken the last blanket from me without my noticing, and he’s settling down against his pack with his bare feet at the fire. I scowl; he isn’t allowed to speak against Halen either, despite being her older brother.

Heaving a sign, I slump down next to my friend and pull a corner of the blanket over myself. Tir shifts slightly so I can lean against his shoulder. We don’t speak. There are no words big enough to dispel the cloud of grief that hangs over us.

I know Tir is thinking of Zo today, just like he knows I’m thinking of Cherry.

Both of us, I’m sure, are also thinking that Halen ought to be here. She ought to be spilling those tears she always threatens and apologizing meaninglessly for deaths that aren’t her fault. Since when did she choose to be distant and calm? Couldn’t she at least have the decency to break down with the rest of us?

I scowl at a gecko as it skitters through the dirt toward the treeline to the west. I should say something to Halen. I should scream at her, sob at her, cry out until she understands that we need her as a friend, not just a commander.

My mind made up, I stand quickly, earning a confused stare from Tir. “Where are you off to?” he asks, his voice thick.

I shake my head. “Somewhere that isn’t here.”

He chuckles and reaches up to squeeze my hand. It’s enough. He was never one for many words.

I smile sadly down at him and set off to the eastern shore, where the purple and gold tents of the Eneris royal tents have been set up. Their fire and sun emblem shines bright on the tent flaps behind guards dressed in layers upon layers of robes and wraps and blankets. I scoff. The army settled just twenty yards away is shivering under thin blankets and dying fires while the royals and their company dine on mutton and venison. Not that I’ve come to expect anything else from them. They recruited Halen and built this army from the ground up—of course they believe themselves worthy of a few more precious coins exchanged for better conditions.

Even today, the first anniversary of Monvira’s troops storming villages and uprooting lives, they haven’t so much as acknowledged the flood of pain that’s sweeping through their army. I wonder if they even know what May first means to their people.

I stop mid-stride, staring straight ahead at the Strategy tent, where I know Halen spends most of her time these days.

It hits me: May first. The sky is clouded and the birds are silent, but it’s May first and no one bothered telling me that I forgot my birthday. Which was April thirtieth. No one noticed.

Weariness pushes at the back of my eyes, and I blink heavily against the tears blurring my vision. Memories from last year flood my mind as I turn and hurry towards Halen’s private tent. It bares the same colors and seal as the others.

I collapse on her bedroll and let out a single sob.

Last year, on the night of my birthday, Cherry had wrapped a blanket around us both as we stumbled back to our village after a whole day spent together at Renton Lake. She’d kissed my hand and twirled me toward the hut I shared with Halen, giggling in the moonlight, her dark unbound hair spilling over her shoulder like a waterfall of night. The memory rips through me, forcing another sob out of my quaking body.

The next morning, she’d been gone.

I’m not sure how long I lay there, my tears collecting in a pool around my head, but eventually the shaking subsides and leaves behind a solemn heaviness. Only when I hear the tent flap ruffle do I stir. There’s a small gasp, then: “Delia?”

Halen’s nickname for me only makes the smallest dent in my sorrow. I push myself to a sitting position, sure that my face is red and splotchy and my hair wild and tangled. All in all, I don’t blame her for looking taken aback. “Delia, what is it?” she gushes, crouching before me and taking my face in her hands. “What’s wrong? What can I do?”

This is exactly what I wanted when I stormed in here. Now, I nearly laugh. It’s pathetic, really, all this time I’ve spent cleaning up after Halen, chasing her, thinking maybe she could do something that would fill the cavity growing inside me. I see it now, as her hazel eyes rake my face. “Nothing,” I tell her. Her thumbs are soft as they wipe away the tears that trickle down my cheeks. “Not anymore.” My voice is scratchy, and I push down against a wave of shame. I’m better than this. I’m better than breaking down in my friend’s plush tent. I’ve never been the emotional one—that was always Halen.

I wipe away my tears, feel myself stand and walk out of the tent, my mind still occupied with hazy revelations I’m too exhausted to fully pursue. There’s a feeling in my gut, the only one that matters right now, and it’s an overwhelming cry to get out.

The grass is silent under my feet as I walk, and I’m distantly aware of Halen calling after me. Her cries of “Wait!” and “What’s going on, Cordelia?” follow me, even after she stops.

I keep walking.

I don’t look back.

---

so uh yeah that's it 👉👈 i can give u the idea of the book if u want or you can just take this offering and run lol <33

Im gonna give you my unfiltered thoughts with no order or organization

REMEMBER ME WHEN YOURE RICH AND FAMOUS AND A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR

OMG IM GONNA GET TO BRAG I SAW THE PROLOGUE TO AN AWARD WINNING BOOK IN THE FUTURE HOLY SHIT

I DONT HAVE ENOUGH WORDS TO EXPLAIN HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS AND IM BILINGUAL

RENDERED ME SPEECHLESS IN TWO LANGUAGES GO YOU

SHE DIDNT EVEN REMEMBER HER BIRTHDAY HOLY SHIT

LOOK I ADORE THE FEELINGA CORDELIA POTRAYED DURING THE ENTIRE PROLOGUE

LIKE HOW YOU WROTE IT IS JUST

I WANTED HER TO COME BREAKDOWN WITH THE REST OF US?????

NO IM SORRY IM HORRIBLE AT COMPLIMENTING EVERYTHING HERE IS BRILLIANT

1) i have a basis for how the crown is unfair (based on cordelias description) ALSO HOW CORDELIA DESCRIBED "i wasnt even sure if they knew what may 1 meant to their people" IDK BUT I LOVED HOW OT WAS WRITTEN. Its not explicit BUT LEAVES THE MESSAGE SAID

2) basis to whats going on? C H E C K

3) JUST HOW YOU WROTE CORDELIAS GRIEVE AND ESTABLISHED THE CHARACTER

Artie i've told you a million times but I adore your writting style, i always adored it BIT READING YOUR ORIGINAL WORK

I FEEL SO PROUD OF YOU?????

Your style is perfect

I WASNT LOST WHICH IS GOOD!

AND LEAVES ME WANTING FOR MORE

I DIDNT NOTICE BUT MY PHONE HAS LOW BATTERY SO IF I DONT REPLY AFTER THIS ITS THAT BUT TELL ME MORE PLS

[thoughts-of-the-unheard]

oh nothing in a book has ever made me as angry as fucking pissed off as i am now about the end of chain of iron and i have a lot to say on it (i have more to say on the last few chapters of chain of iron than i did on the entirety of the folk of the air series)

ill start with being glad lucie was able to raise jesse but definite reylo vibes there and im ignoring the end of that so watch me ignore if lucie dies ill be like yea ya know shes just,,, somewhere else but i hated how many secrets she kept from fucking everyone i mean she didnt tell a single person the whole truth of anything shes got secrets on top of secrets and thats not good but hey matthews drinking isnt good either and no one but the lucie and cordelia ever really say anything about that so theres that and im not counting james’ you dont love anyone as much as you love that bottle or w/e he said bc that wasnt talking to him to try to help and get him to stop drinking that was just a hit bc they were fighting and i hate that i hate that they were fighting bc they wouldnt have been if it wasnt for that fucking bracelet and which has caused so many fucking problems that i could cry in indignation bc its not its not fucking fair james spent the last what three years of his life in a fog not being able to feel and not being able to notice his parabatai slowly spiraling into a drunken depression from something thats not his fault at all i mean yes it is his fault that his mother took the potion but it is not his fault that the baby died thats no ones fault but whoever sold him the potion and yea he shouldnt have bought it in the first place but he was kid and he thought that was the only way he could get the truth and its unfair its fucking unfair and alistair god alistair he knows what he did in school was wrong but he saw it as the only way and now hes trying to make up for it and apologise and be a better fucking person and thomas sees that and thomas loves him for that and alistair wont let himself be loved and its not fair and anna oh anna talk about not letting yourself be loved she put on such a good front she did but she shouldnt have ariadne loves her and wants to be with her fully with her but anna has to understand the stigma of that and why ariadne cant come out yet hell thats still a problem today but we wont get into that because anna clearly loves ariadne but shes too afraid of getting hurt again and frankly she should just go for it i mean so what if you get hurt again at least youll finally feel something because i know she feels nothing for all those other girls i know theyre just replacements for ariadne and it isnt fair and speaking    of   replacements    fucking grace fuck grace but fucking grace just casually destroying james life listen i dont give a shit how she grew up i couldnt care less about how tatiana treated her and how scared she was of her because if shed just fucking helped then she wouldnt have to worry about a damn thing from tatiana i mean theres a number of things grace couldve done she couldve told the merry thieves everything and they couldve defeated belial like they are now and then no one would be around to help tatiana and grace couldve told anyone in the clave about all of tatianas shit and then they wouldnt have underestimated her and she wouldve been in a proper prison and thus unable to escape so damn easily and thus not fucking able to get to grace okay shes a fucking idiot and i hate her and i hate reading about her and im fucking disappointed in her for not taking the damn bracelet off okay i had very fucking low standards for her but i hoped she would take the bracelet off and at the very least i thought she could fucking not manipulate him further like god damn girl james is a much nicer and understanding person than i am and he would try to protect her from tatiana if he knew that grace was being threatened by her if grace took the bracelet off and told him the truth he would help her i fully believe that but since he had to find out on his own he was furious as he should be but i dont think he had to be nice to her when she showed up at the end there i mean i wouldve just yanked her in the house and started yelling at her right there fuck pretending his still under that enchantment fuck talking to her in private okay id chew her out in the entryway its not like cordelia doesnt need to know she fucking does and i think her finding out by overhearing james arguing with grace is actually a fantastic way to find out because she gets to hear everything all of what james feels and all of what grace did completely unfiltered not that james would try to hide it from her but hed definitely try to soften the blow and i just think she needs to hear the whole truth and AND i really fucking hate when characters overhear only part of something and assume the worst and run away its so common and i hate it so much and i hate how she ran to matthews because i knew it was going to happen and i knew matthew was in love with her and that it was already straining their bond because no one fucking realised that james was madly fucking in love with cordelia because of that fucking bracelet have i mentioned have i mentioned how much that bracelet pisses me off i dont think i have lets get into it so how james was unable to feel properly for three years and how his head was so foggy he was unable to think properly too and how because of that he missed matthew becoming a drunk and how the merry thieves look to james as their leader so if james isnt saying anything about it then there must not be anything to say and how james was already in love with cordelia before the bracelet and thats part of why grace couldnt control him and how he loved her for years how he was in love with her for years how no one knew this not even him because everyone thought he was in love with grace how cordelia was in love with him but thought he was in love with grace how cordelia got married to him knowing she was in love with him and thinking he was in love with someone else how she could tell he wanted her but thinking he just wanted her body and that he was still in love with grace how she’d rather have some of him than none of him at all how he picked out everything in their house with cordelia in mind how he remembered that she loves chess and she never thought he would how he learned a whole other language for her how he immediately checks on her after every battle how everyone, especially cordelia, just writes all this off as who knows what because he cant be in love with cordelia if hes in love with grace and hes obviously in love with grace how no one could ever notice there was something wrong because they were feeling the effects too how james was so in love with cordelia that that love unintentionally broke an enchantment made specifically for james by a Prince Of Hell one of the most powerful beings the entire species will ever meet and i think that covers the gracelet situation but i keep thinking of the scene where the bracelet cracks when grace first went to curzon street and kissed james and james’ mind literally thinking it was cordelia because who else would he be kissing and afterward grace saying ‘i dont know who you think you were kissing, james herondale, but it wasnt me’ and im like damn right bitch get fucked but back to cordelia running to matthews okay i know she didnt know matthew was in love with her so she wasnt doing anything wrong going to him but i kept thinking they were going to kiss or something because we all know matthews in love with her and there were a bunch of hints that cordelia might be attracted to matthew and she was upset about james and i just kept thinking something bad would happen and i was right but shit i didnt think id be like that i had no idea matthew was leaving for paris and even less of an idea that cordelia would join him and the thing is i cant even be mad i cant blame her i would probably do the same thing hell id probably ask to go with and im very proud of her for saying she’d go If matthew stops drinking i really appreicate that and i hope he gets better but the all those misses how james left the house only minutes after cordelia and arrived at matthews only minutes after they left and how he could see them at the train station could see them getting on the train and leaving and leaving him behind because his sister is missing and he shouldve ran and caught them and begged them to stay if not just to help find lucie because they both think of lucie as a sister and they absolutely wouldve stayed to help her and then there would be the chance for james to explain the gracelet situation and everything would be fine it would fine eventually and everything would be okay but NO and ive said a lot but i havent even mentioned cordelia being a paladin for fucking lilith yet where did that come from i was not expecting that ill tell ya see i thought it was odd that wayland the smith would still be alive and that it wasnt mentioned in any of the other books and i thought it was odd that some apparently god-like blacksmith would be wearing such an elegant jeweled necklace and i thought it was odd that magnus would be back from the spiral labyrinth for just a day and would be staying with hypatia instead of ya know his own place but shit id never have put it together as one person let alone lilith and i cant say it came out of nowhere because it said that edom used to be liliths so it would make sense that she would want belial gone so she could have it back but still that was unexpected but im not disappointed i mean im obviously upset that cordelia is now pledged to the mother of demons and feels like she cant even touch a weapon speaking of which what did she do with cortana where did she put it she said she dealt with it which makes me nervous but we know she couldnt have broken it or anything a) because i dont think she physically can and b) emma has cortana later but i think cordelia should keep cortana close since its the only thing that can mortally would belial and apparently he only needs one more before something happens im guessing before hes like gone gone so she definitely needs cortana and lilith wants her to kill belial so i think she should and if shes stuck as liliths paladin after that and never wants to touch a weapon again so be it but get rid of belial first ya know anyway i think there was something else i wanted to say but i cant remember so if you read all of this holy shit im sorry thats a lot i hope it was entertaining at least and i hope i didnt also get you pissed off

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Home - Part 20

A/N- Hey!! So this part is just fluff! Lol and a few time jumps as we near the end! 💕

12 weeks pregnant.

Bucky and I had just come out from my 12 week scan, Dr Forester said everything was looking great which was a huge relief! We were currently sat in the car looking at the newest scan photos.

"i cant believe how much has changed since the last scan! You can actually see their babies now!" I said shaking my head "The weeks are flying by Buck!"

"I know! They'll be here in no time" Bucky said his eyes comically wide before he started laughing "i can't wait".

"Me either, now we just have to tell the girls" i looked over at Bucky biting my lip nervously "do you think they will take it well?"

"You kidding me? They'll be so excited baby"

"Yeah?"

"Of course!"

"God i hope so" i mumbled as my hand stroked over my tiny bump, it didnt take long before Bucky's hand reached over to join mine.

"You have nothing to worry about i promise" he kissed me quickly "i cant wait for them to know so you stop hiding this cute little bump".

I rolled my eyes at him before chuckling at the man i loved. Bucky was obsessed with the tiny bump i had, his hands resting over it any chance he got.

"Come on lets go break the news".

When we got inside we found Steve fast asleep on the sofa the girls asleep all around him, Rosie was on his chest, Brooke and Allie tucked into each side.

"Oh my god how cute is that" i smiled down at them pulling out my phone to snap a photo.

"They must have had a busy day at school huh" Bucky laughed "Lets get dinner sorted while they sleep, we can tell them later".

We were all sat around the dining room table an hour later eating dinner, Steve stayed too of course!

"Daddy can i have some more juice please, im thirsty" Allie looked up at Bucky while tapping his arm.

"Sure sweetheart"

"I'll grab it i'm gonna grab another beer anyway" Steve said pushing his chair back and heading towards the kitchen.

"Grab me one too please" Bucky called after his friend.

"Hey, are these the new scan photo's?" Steve called through before holding up the photo's from todays session as he walked back in with Allie's juice and a couple of beers.

"Yeah take a look" Bucky nodded proudly.

"OMG..... look at that!"

"What are you looking at Uncle Steve?" Brooke asked trying to look over at the photo.

"Um, its a secret" he said with a look of panic on his face, he knew we hadn't said anything to the girls yet and he didn't want to be the one who told them.

"Bucky why don't you tell the girls what Uncle Steve is looking at?"

"Yeah?"

"Go for it" i chuckled nervously, hoping they would be happy with the news.

"Okay, girls..... Y/N is pregnant! She's gonna be having a baby... two babies actually"

"TWO?!" Brooke asked with wide eyes.

"Yeah sweetheart, its twins" i smiled.

"Oh my god thats so cool!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!.... but wait, am i gonna have more sisters? I really want a brother" Brooke suddenly asked making me Bucky and Steve burst out laughing.

"We don't know yet, its still a little early" Bucky told her as Allie slipped off of her chair and walked over to stand in front of me. She stood there staring down at my belly looking confused.

"You okay babe?" I asked her stroking back some loose bits of hair from her face.

"There's two babies in there?" She asked pointing to my tummy with her head tipped to one side.

"There is"

"How? They wont fit in there"

"Their still really tiny at the moment Al, but they will get alot bigger soon".

She walked closer and put a hand against my tummy before whispering "hi, I'm Allie. Im your big sister"

It was the cutest thing ever!!!

"They can't hear you Allie" Brooke rolled her eyes at her little sister.

"Sure they can!" Bucky added quickly seeing Allie looking like she was about to get upset.

"They can?" Allie asked as she fell into my arms wanting a cuddle.

"Of course! Thats how they know who you are when their born"

"Sounds stupid" she huffed with attitude giving Allie the stink eye "I hope i have brothers this time"

"We need some more boys around here, Buck and I are outnumbered already" Steve added.

"I totally agree with Steve, but i'll be happy either way" Bucky laughed.

"Well we'll find out soon enough".

Rosie didn't really understand what was going on yet, i think it will effect her more once the twins are here and she's no longer the baby of the family.

The girls were all in bed and Steve had gone home..... i sometimes wondered if he lived here too! I was laying on the sofa watching a movie while Bucky was making me a cup of tea, i had just started to fall asleep when i heard the tiptoeing of a sneaky child who should be asleep! I kept my eyes closed and waited to hear Bucky tell them to get back to bed.

"Hi.... I'm Brooklyn, I'm your biggest sister" i suddenly heard her whispering next to me "i'll take good care of you i promise...."

"Brooke....whatcha doing hun?"

"Um nothing..... i couldn't sleep"

"You wanna come lay with me a while?" I offered holding out my arms, Brooke wasnt usually one for cuddles, she liked to act like she was too old for that. But she surprised me when she nodded and came to cuddle with me.

"Y/N.... i want the babies to know who i am so I'm gonna talk to them all the time"

"Ok hun, thats fine" i chuckled kissing the top of her hair.

"What are you doing out of bed lil miss?" Bucky asked walking in with mugs of tea before sitting back down next to me so i was leaning against him.

"Couldn't sleep"

"I said she can stay with us and watch the rest of the movie then bed"

"Okay okay" he smiled and we all got snuggled on the sofa....10 minutes later Brooke was fast asleep.

20 weeks pregnant.

Waking up with awful heartburn (AGAIN!) i looked over at my phone on the bedside table to check what time it was, 5:15am! Jesus! Id had it bad for the past couple of days now and it was driving me crazy. I slipped out of bed to go head downstairs for a glass of milk and noticed Bucky was already gone.

I poured myself a glass of milk and while i stood in the kitchen taking a few sips i heard the grunting from the basement. Ooh! Bucky must be working out! I smiled to myself before quietly making my way down there. When Bucky and the girls moved in he made the basement into his gym being as it was never used. I stood in the doorway watching Bucky laid on his back making the most beautiful noises as he lifted some weights. I bit my lip as i leaned against the doorframe watching him....admiring him.

"Ahh fuck!" He moaned lifting the weights above his head once again.

I squeezed my thighs together as the sinful sounds shot straight to my core.

"Jesus christ" i mumbled to myself, my eyes raking over his body....

"Hey doll" the sound of his voice making me snap out of the lust fuelled trance i was in.

"Hey"

"You okay? You look a little flushed" he asked looking smug as he dropped the weights and sat up.

"Mmhmm I'm great, just admiring the view!" I smirked taking a sip of the milk while looking at him, his navy t-shirt clinging to his chest....

"Heartburn still?" He asked noticing the glass of milk in my hand.

"Yep" i nodded as my free hand stroked over my growing bump "your boys hate me i swear" i chuckled.

"They don't hate you" he chuckled shuffling over to me on his knees, he placed his hands either side of my stomach and pressed a kiss to my bump.

"Come back to bed Buck.....watching you down here has turned me on like crazy!"

"Oh really!?"

"So much, i need you.... now!"

"How about i just take you right here, huh?" He smirked pulling me down into his lap.

"Fuck yes!" I groaned before kissing him hard and grinding down onto him.

"Your insatiable baby" Bucky mumbled making me laugh.

"Pregnancy hormones are out of control i swear" i chuckled "everything you do turns me on!"

"Is that right?" Bucky said as he slipped a hand into my panties and moaned instantly "god doll your soaked already!"

"I was soaked the second i walked in and heard you making those noises Buck"

"Don't worry, i'll take care of you".

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