#but man what a great experience
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I'm sorry I let down my guard.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#xue yang#xiao xingchen#God DAMN this scene was brutal. Season 2 episode 2 is almost nothing but misery and anguish#Helena by Nickle Creek does not quite fit the comic's vibe but it is absolutely a Xue Yang song so I linked it.#The change from āHelena don't walk away...(gentle)ā to āHELENA. DON'T WALK AWAY (threat)ā is fantastic.#And āDon't waste your pretty sympathy - I'll always be just fineā. Xue Yang core.#Okay now for the real meat. Disclaimer first: *I really like XY.* I think he's a great character. I think his actions consistently-#come from a place of deep trauma. While his reactions and actions put him in a villainous role he is still human about his hurt#and what I'm about to say is NOT intended to be a statement of causality or villianize a group of misunderstood people.#So with that said...Man oh man does Xue Yang have a lot of BPD traits. More that just 'character who is chronically manipulative'.#The impulsivity and emotional reactions and seeking stability makes him feel like he needs that control. What other choice is there?#The part that really gets me is how he *wants* to be safe and happy. But his past experiences tell him how thats impossible#He's the kind of person who goes 'if you don't like me then you better hate me for something substantial". All (pos) or All (neg)#''Love me entirely or Hate me. But don't you dare leave me or forget about me.''#Not at all comfortable saying 'BPD coded'. Im not a psychiatrist. Just that he has TRAITS. Feel free to disagree or add your thoughts.#ppl with bpd also are not a monolith and everyone has very different experiences. Xue yang is very complex. People more so.
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I'm very curious (you don't have to take this seriously if you don't want to) but how exactly would Bill find out about how bad OG!Bill is doing? Like, is there an interdimensional bookstore that sells this book? When he's getting his bi-monthly demon gossip magazine at this shop does he just see that book there and double-takes? What's happening there? And what is Dipper's reaction?
I'm not sure if Familiar Bill learns about it through the book, but let's think about that!
Since the book displays differently for everyone - I imagine Familiar!Bill just gets dozens of pages of 'LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETMEOUT' until he claps the thing shut.
Showing Dipper doesn't have much better effects; he just gets the ol' 'PUT JALAPENO PEPPERS IN YOUR EYES' treatment.
Once you put the book aside - I figure Bill finds out through the regular interdimensional rumor mill. Whispers along that strange network of various versions of oneself, carrying mentions of the strange twists and turns of fate.
That day has has Dipper wondering why Bill took one look at his phone, blanched, then started being waaaay too affectionate.
#answers#Behold! One of the few horrors every Bill experiences#The Threat Of Therapy#Familiar Bill isn't 100% certain what caused the OG version to get sent to Theraprism. Rumors abound.#But it's a Very Sure Bet that his own ass escaped due to his Interdimensionally Anomalous Married Situation#He KNOWS he's weird amongst Bills - but this is like the one time it's REALLY shown how great his so-called 'awful' choice was!#Also holy crap. He can't *believe* what a terrible fate he avoided. Marriage clearly RULES and he was soooo right to do it#Dipper meanwhile is getting a great deal of affection. It's worrying for multiple reasons#First and foremost because this usually means Bill's buttering him up for something#Second because he's clearly *not* attempting that right now#And third because: What the fuck could bother BILL enough that he's being so openly appreciative? Man.#Not for the first time Dipper thinks his husband needs therapy
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sigh feeling nostalgic for my old fics/the old community these days. I miss it man.
#this post is brought to you by the fact that I've been rereading world forgetting the past few days#I've reread parts of it plenty of times#but I haven't actually reread the fic in full... since I wrote it maybe?#does that even count as reading it#it's a fundamentally different experience I think so#anyway I miss having that level of brainrot...#I cringe so much at a lot of the stuff in that fic#but man there were so many great moments#ngl as my 'big fic' i'm most unhappy with I do sometimes think about rewriting some of it#not that theres much of an audience for it anymore#but also that would take too much time and I wouldn't have the patience for it#plus I don't even know how I'd fix it theres so much wrong structurally#it would have to be so much longer which is the opposite of what I'd want for it#I literally am way too busy for that anyway so#ramblings
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āafab nonbinary people are transmasc and amab nonbinary people are transfem!ā what if I killed you with hammers
#exorsexism#also intersexism bc agab is often Extremely Arbitrary#like Iāve seen people say transmasc and transfem are more nonbinary inclusive than trans man and trans woman#but in my experience theyāre literally not#like congrats you invented a new system to misgender us but youāre pretending it doesnāt. great. really useful.#i donāt think transfem and transmasc are inherently bad but people use them as a way to rebinarise people#and treat amab nonbinary people as Basically Trans Women and afab nonbinary people as Basically Trans Men and like. no! gross! stop!#thatās misgendering me I do not like it#trans writing suffers from CRIMINAL lack of knowledge on what nonbinary people actually experience or are#and itās so fucking isolating man
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Chainsaw Man is one of my favorite stories because it never shies away from the hard questions. How do you form meaningful relationships after sexual trauma? How do you escape the cycle of abuse when it becomes more comfortable to you than "normal" life? How are the bonds you forge and the family you build stronger than what you were born into? And now, its newest philosophical quandary, just how cursed would elephants look if the concept and existence of ears were erased from the world!
#the answer? very cursed imo! the baby elephant front view with no ears is upsetting !#man I love#Chainsaw Man#though. like. its established that concepts and physical things can be erased#and instead of like oh that's just something that happened no#Public Safety is now performing an extremely fucked up experiment using the scientific method to learn the particulars of it#as a major and key traumatic plot point#10/10 great job š#I wanna know the thought process that led to their choices so badly lol#what made them be like yeah we're gonna test if this works or not and we're willing to gamble the existence of ears to find out
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hope you're enjoying TSOA! I've read it myself, and it's truly a great book.
[127] FINISHED IT MAYBE AN HOUR AGO <3 </3
#127#xisuma#xisumavoid#daily xisuma#hermitcraft#AHHHHH it was so good#I love greek mythology mostly from pjo but never really got into homer/virgil#I know of virgil from Dante's divine comedy and as the roman tax evasion fly man#this makes me want to properly read the Iliad......for sure gonna be a completely different experience but <3#I have read achilles and hector's chase scene at some point for school. reading it from patro pov was weirdly funny#but oh my GOD. tsoa was so happy and then it :-(ed and it was <3#fanfiction time! I say this as if I haven't already started reading a couple just to see what the tsoa a03 scene was like before I finished#some may see this as weird but I can never do worse than during my reading of the great gatsby during which I read the book several times#over in fanfic words before I was even halfway (I had to read slowly because school)#anyways please notice the slightly different shading (I didn't clip the multiply layer today)
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How wrong is the world when with only 18 years of life I already have been sexually harrassed, eyed by old mens and have learn to walk as fast as possible with my head down and with no music in my headphones when a man is behind me ?
I see all those people on Tiktok being aweful to women after Trump winning the election (and even before) and it's horrible how they never seems to understand, to try to understand, to care enough to understand. Men and Women (as much as incomprehensible it is).
#like in what kind of world are we living#even wild animals aren't as cruel as we could be#WAKE UP EVERYONE#I literally donāt understand the people for Trump#Kamala was not the best but she wasnāt a criminal#she has experiences in politics and projected great for the future and yet people choosed him because he's a white old straight man#i don't get it#a pair of balls will always be better than a women or smth?#election 2024#us elections#kamala harris#donald trump
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āItās a romcom!ā
their breakup has a body count, which is neither especially romantic nor particularly funny š¤·āāļø
#man I hope certain people experience what it is to have friends whose breakup becomes everyoneās problem#letās see if you still think they are cute together after they tear the whole group asunder with their drama#and make everyone miserable before getting back together#and then act like they did nothing wrong and invite you to their way-too-soon wedding where you have to grit your teeth and smile#knowing one of them will be crashing on your couch for a week after the inevitable divorce#if ppl choose to be optimistic and believe in their love and their ability to work things out#thatās great more power to you. just stfu to me when I point out red flags that worry and sadden me#I DIDNT ASK YOUR OPINION. I LEFT IT UNTAGGED FOR A REASON#(to be clear I do think the show is funny and has cute love stories. but definitely NOT because of the main couple. yikes)
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2023 Italian Grand Prix - Fernando Alonso
#I just realized i literally havent posted anything at all about this weekend aside from liveblogging#so i have to remedy that by at least gifing the old man even if he hurt me today#im gonna pretend this race didnt happen tbh#it just didnt do anything for me? i feel like this weekend's flew by in a way no other race weekend has in an unfortunate way :/#i feel like i didnt even experience a race weekend this wkdn aside from the liveblogging with people and thats kinda sad#i literally fell asleep for like 3 hours after the race hahaha#i knew monza wouldnt be great for aston but ugh hurts still. lets hope singapore is better!!!#i think it kinda just sucks when your fav is kinda just non existenant for the whole race#i had no idea what he was upto at any time of the race :((((#well at least hes always cute in his interviews#fernando alonso#fa14#2023 italian gp#2023 monza grand prix#2023 italian grand prix#f1#formula 1#formula one#we do a little bit of f1
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Discussion on the Great Gatsby and I guess I overestimated the open-mindedness of my classmates bc likeā¦ the response when i said āso do yāall think Nickās kinda got smth for Gatsbyā was Interesting. They seemed shocked, as if Nick is Not a bisexual man. (This guy legit canāt choose anything, heās non-confrontational, describes women and men kind of equally in both appearance and Vibes, and come ON that scene w/ the ellipsis (commonly used for fade-to-black sex scenes) and then HIM WAKING UP W/ MCKEE IN BED. HOMO š«µš«µš«µ.) Anyway. Nick/Gatsby/Daisy seemed to be the general ship consensus here
#the great gatsby#nick carraway#jay gatsby#bisexuality#nick carraway is a bisexual man truther#you cant fucking change my mind#bc im RIGHT#/hj#pls try to tho I wanna see other peopleās perspectives#hey wouldnāt it be nice if nick had green eyes so the green light gatsby reaches for is really Nickā#what he wants#far across the lake#shining from the dock#is really right beside him#right in front of him#youāre smiling at him#heās feeling more understood than he ever has#also gatsby totally has PTSD from the war and is using the parties to live vicariously through others#experiencing a microcosm of society as he can no longer experience it#and thatās as close as he can get#rambles#traggyās shit
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TW: Animal death, very mild gore, disturbing imagery, fawnstalk(thats a tw all on its own)
/ you killed her, Copperstrike. /
/ What a shame. /
( @mustangs-flames )
#digital art#fanart#corvidae art#hail true body#htb#htb warrior cats au#htb!wc au#htb!wc copperstrike#htb!wc fawnstalk#animation#animatic#oh fawnstalk- you silly creature#erins name in this is wolfpaw because fuck man idk she wolf#not planning her warrior name cause she never gets to find out :)#what a great first mentoring experience for copperstrike#definitely wont fuck him up on his next apprentice. wink wink. nudge nudge.
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One thing I will never understand is why some of y'all get so mad about Buck and Eddie being roughly the same age. I don't understand how people can learn that Eddie only enlisted when Shannon got pregnant and not just assume he was 18/19 when that happened. In what world a 23 yo would panic enlisted because his girlfriend got pregnant? I don't get it.
#eddie acting older doesn't necessarily make him older#and also#if eddie had 5 years of real world experience by the time Shannon got pregnant#enlisting would not be the reaction#because he would've had 5 years to be an adult#having an accidental baby at 23 is young but like thats the not of the world#not like getting your girlfriend pregnant right after senior promo when you dont want to go to college is#that was literally my only argument for never assuming he was older#and finding out hes around the same age as Buck was great#made perfect sense#why is that such a problem?#this is a rhetorical question#i dont really wanna know#no need to tell me#im just venting because i just saw someone say EDDIE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FORTY RIGHT NOW#FORTY#FUCKING FORTY#like what the fuck are they on#and they were like straight saying the show retconed and they said eddie was born in 84#and im like?????????? you tripping?????????#i will take the 5 year gap BUT SAYING MY MAN WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FORTY????????????????#crazy#911#thoughts thoughts thoughts
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uh oh I tried out a new art program called Krita. at first I really didn't like it but it did kinda grow on me after I started overcoming the learning curve a bit (which definitely has nothing to do with my constant refusal to actually watch tutorials for stuff. and I wonder why I hate 3d modeling so much gjfhfjgkgf). I still prefer flipaclip studios even though it's an animation app with way less features but this ended up okay I think. this was the first time in seriously like a decade that I drew something more than a doodle on a computer instead of a phone or tablet and I discovered that even though my screen is a touch screen, it has one of those screens that really drags and makes your finger feel weird when you use it and just
anyway. blame @lazarus-rose for this prompt of knight!dean flirting with prince!cas. what of course cas doesn't just have a flower crown because I couldn't draw a regular one what are you talking about
nah but I think my unfamiliarity with both the program and my laptop's touchscreen does show in all the clunky lines that aren't quite smooth. I also can't figure out how to grab and move stuff with one of the 20 selection tools on Krita or I would've lowered Cas a little and also added speech bubbles but idk I couldn't come up with any good dialogue anyway. it'd probably be something like:
D: so wanna go see how big my sword is š
C: I can currently see your sword Dean
(ignore the lazy background idk random castle. also yeah cas' book is about beekeeping and that's definitely not just me trying to justify his flower crown)
(11/25/24)
#my art#supernatural#spn#spn fanart#castiel#dean winchester#destiel#my thoughts#krita#knight dean#prince castiel#prince cas#uh oh what's that horrible smell is patrick experimenting with his art style again#unfortunately yes#sorry about that but idk not really#the light blue on cas' shirt is supposed to be a cross but it got cut off and no longer looks like a cross#intentionally contrasted their colors here btw#and oh man do i love krita's insanely huge color palettes#i really hope they save to some 'profile' so i don't have to remake it#i have all the character colors on there it's great
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if you love mitski you don't love her more than me sorry
#if you cut my heart open you'll find half of her discography there#also i need to rant but i don't like feeling weak so i will just say it here#i am so so tired all i think about is resume this degree that exam this i hate this why is future so bleak#also it feels so weird whenever dad is nice and caring it's just comforting and unsettling at the same time because ik this won't last but#aghhh idk how to describe this so basically i was sobbing because this man was rude & raised his voice (obviously not in front of him but)#& somehow i get his call right then & like i was trying my best to sound good but obv he noticed so he asked me about it & was super pissed#he hates hates anyone making me cry/being rude to me (except himself ofc) idk what this weird pride thing is idk#i wish he always acted like this anyways i bet on losing dogs best song of century#also it'd be great to experience unconditional love someday
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One day you will reach a point where someone will misgender you and instead of feeling the jab of disappointment or fear or mockery, you will only feel confusion or bewilderment or even just...nothing, whether you correct them or not. And you will realize how far you've come, and how resilient you've grown, how much comfortable you are in your own skin.
#spitblaze says things#i complain too much about transgender stuff. lets get some positivity going#anyway yadda yadda usual disclaimer. i cannot speak to everyones experiences or lives. im not psychic i dont know ur circumstances#i just know that reaching the point of some terf misgendering you to get a rise out of you will one day be less dehumanizing#and more like. annoying or pathetic#yeah thats great i will never be a man uh huh sure. u got any better material i dont have all day#or like someone will just...casually misgender you. you will be in the street and someone will 'sir' or 'maam' you wrong#and instead of stressing about what made them clock you you'll just be like 'what'#and if ur still in thr place where ur not sure if you will EVER be in a spot where itll be either chill or confusing#remember. cis people get misgendered too#men with long hair will get ma'amed. women with broad shoulders will get sir'd.#there are individual pieces of clothing that will make people gender you a certain way and you will not know why#ultimately there are a million things that could cause someone to clock you or anyone else incorrectly and its 1000000% subjective
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where. did yall come from.
#ik its a small number but like-#jesus man#i've been on this site for over a decade but never have had a good experience until now#yall are great i love interacting with this community and reading what yall put out#work has been kicking my ASS and i haven't had the energy/time to make as much as i used to but i appreciate everyone sm#yall make me wanna draw/write more stuff#muah#wuvz talks
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